#they mean SO much to each other for good or ill and ultimately find common ground and understanding

[chamerionwrites]

Another day another version of me having Star Wars feelings about Luke and Leia’s very different experiences with local bad dad Anakin Skywalker

[writing-for-life]

“Tales in the Sand” in Context of “The Doll’s House”

About Patriarchy, the Madness of Pure Dream and Nada & Morpheus as mirrors of each other

Over the past week, we had interesting community discussions about “Nada’s dream” on both a more direct and a more metaphorical/allegorical level (join us if you’d like to read/discuss).

But one of the most important functions of “Tales in the Sand” is its place in the overall narrative. You can look at it as a “story within a story” on several different levels—self-contained or as part of a whole.

One thing that can be looked at in a pretty self-contained way is “Tales in the Sand” as the opener of “The Doll’s House”—it explicitly belongs to this arc, even if it is somewhat of a transition issue.

Some of you might be familiar with Henrik Ibsen’s play “A Doll’s House”, and I can’t help but think about the common themes, especially with regard to Nada, but also parts of the overall Doll’s House arc:

A woman who is smart and extremely capable, but unfulfilled and caught up in a patriarchal system. I won’t summarise the whole story here, but Ibsen’s protagonist Nora secretly borrowed money (to help her husband recover from illness no less)—during a time when women weren’t allowed to engage in financial affairs. When the whole thing falls apart, she even thinks of killing herself. The reaction of her husband, which is belittling and patronising [he “forgives” her and has the gall to say that act of forgiveness reminds him of how much he loves her, because she is a “helpless child” and dependent on him] ultimately makes her leave him, despite knowing what this means: They have children, and while the play ends here, it was highly unlikely for a woman during that time to get custody. So we can only have a guess of what will become of her. In a way, she didn’t kill herself, yet committed societal suicide and might probably face a very difficult life from here onwards…

And while we have a real doll’s house in the actual story of the Sandman’s “The Doll’s House”, and that holds its own meaning (we are currently discussing this in the community as well), I cannot help but think about Ibsen’s play about:

A woman standing up for what she believes in at great cost to herself. Which: Ouch, because that sentiment as such is almost verbatim echoed in Dream Hunters.

Now that’s the self-contained parallel in “Tales in the Sand”—women who are capable still get caught up in patriarchal systems and beliefs (it is expected of Nada to “find a man”—why, one could ask? Because: the patriarchy…)

Let’s move on to Nada and Morpheus as mirrors…

Nada is an almost exact mirror of Morpheus: Lonely, caught up in her “function”, burdened by rules and responsibilities. And more importantly: She is as unwilling to let go of them as he. They arrive at a stalemate, which is made very clear in Season of Mists: She isn’t willing to lay down who she is for him, he won’t lay down his function for her. They are made of the same material, so to speak.

There is also a really interesting parallel when we look at Nada’s dream on a more conceptual level: What kind of dreams have the power to ultimately destroy you (and your people)? Nada is explicitly described as a good and benevolent leader, and while I have my personal theory what her dream was (you can find it here), this is open to interpretation and will forever stay a head-canon.

But there is much to be said for losing our grip on reality when we become too caught up in our dreams, whatever they may be and however benevolent—the script to “The Doll’s House” contains these lines when describing Dream’s throne room:

The windows actually lead onto the madness of pure dream, which is at the true centre of the dreamworld…

These lines don’t appear anywhere in the comics, but they are narrated almost verbatim in the Audible, so we can absolutely consider them canon.

And they apply to both Nada and Morpheus to certain degrees—they are both lonely, caught in the ivory tower of their respective existences. One gets caught up in a dream until it destroys her and her civilisation, the other is pure d/Dream (this also says a lot about Morpheus btw, because we all know how desperately he has to keep the proverbial lid on everything so it doesn’t consume him).

And then there is this, down to standing on a rock/spire (did I ever say I always wondered about the actual mechanics of Morpheus’ death? Because Death usually is NOT the one who kills you; but I digress):

They both make the ultimate sacrifice because they can’t be other than they are.

And then this:

Even the parallels of Nada being reborn as a boy (meh though, sorry, but maybe that’s for another time) and not remembering anymore, and yet clearly doing so on some subconscious level (she/he is at his funeral after all, and while all of us are, she/he is briefly seen with his lovers).

That’s like Daniel!Dream not being Morpheus and also not truly being Daniel Hall anymore, but echoes of both remain.

And don’t even get me started on hope. I wrote about this so many times, you can find all related metas here…

So I guess this is one thing about Nada and her dream that couldn’t be made clearer if we tried:

While all the other angles, be they a more direct or conceptual reading, make sense, the most important, and probably also obvious one, is that Nada’s dream is also Dream’s. And that’s something we also get in the TV show in other contexts:

NG stated it explicitly in his intro/script to The Doll’s House—the whole arc is about how the Endless relate to humans. And “the truth of mankind” is also Dream’s, whether he admits to it or not. How could it not be—he holds our subconscious.

Nada and Morpheus are direct mirrors of each other. And the whole of “Tales in the Sand” is just one ginormous bit of foreshadowing, whether NG was already aware of it at the time or not…

[randomnameless]

Artbook stuff!

Dev notes for the last Cornian people, Melisande'n'Colm, Tatiana, Renault and Monica (not that in order but ssh)

Monica!

Unlike her Fire Emblem namesakes, she is alive and not a comic relief (even if I had to include her defeated sprite because... just why)

Fluffy and curly hair isn't that common in the JRPGs sprites? Her being brave is basically spelled out in her recruitment paralogue/map, she's willing to fight against a cause she knows is just and would even like to join it... but she has to side against Alain'n'co, because her people's lives are at stake.

Sadly, all of her turmoil and dilemna was for naught since her grandpa was sekritly funding Alain's Liberation army, but at least she acted as a nice decoy so Zenoira wouldn't suspect him and target their people? Her mischievous side is played on in her second rapport convo with Clive, where she trolls a drunk!Adel and tries to guess what kind of leader Alain is when she asks him to rekt bandits who brought harm to her people, and yet she's one of the few characters who have something that is as close as a canon romance with another character save for the mandatory "can become Alain's love interest" thing.

(and even then, her maiden convo mentions Clive lol).

IDK who her seiyuu is, but I confess I also really loved her voice, tldr : Monica's surprisingly a well rounded character (for a character who isn't plot important!) even if I feel bad for her being left out of the loop regarding what her grandpa was doing with the Liberation Army.

Melisandre is... a seemingly vain character who is, well, actually vain (iirc Colm mentions she falls in love with someone different each day, save for Alain) but bar that, she's also someone really proud of her swordsmanship. Is it what the devs refered to when they mentionned her being "arrogant?"

I liked the random bouts here'n'there about her being aware of sekrit identities (Aramis can't pretend to be a merc) but ultimately she also brings some comic relief or fresh air to the otherwise serious Cornian cast.

Big up for the devs to have written her Scarlett convo as something kind of wholesome and not turning it in a catfight for Alain - sure they start with a contest to find the cutest accessories to catch his eye, but then forget all about him as they shop all day long. I wouldn't say her "cute" personality is based on her latching on the Lord, but rather her forming bonds with other people (like Liza, Sanatio or her heartwarming second Colm rapport!) and offering to help them.

Class wise... much like the FE swordfighters, she's supposed to be a dodgetank and can Astra stuff, but my dodgetanks units have a tendency to tank things with their faces, so I have a biased opinion on them lol.

Colm is Melisandre's retainer - in a way I would compare him to FE13's Frederick.

Good for him to have been promoted to a playable character lol!

His convos are often about Melisandre or him being her retained/minder/butler, but even if the fanbase seemingly hates vanguards (his class) I found him suprisingly decent, especially since he can protect people against flying units! Not a lot to say about him though.

Tatiana's design is certainly unique, apparently the devs came up with the buns to make her stand out even when she wears her plague mask? Her dark eyes (tired?) imo worked for me as she was supposed to work night and day on dissecting/experimenting on people who caught the plague to find an illness, while dealing with Baltro and his "how to aggravate, I mean, cure the plague I totally didn't came up with!"nonsense.

That plague subplot was interesting, even if iirc, Tatiana doesn't end up having the same realisation Hilda later has about how this was no natural plague but something Zenoira came up with, I wonder if Tatiana has a battle convo with Baltro but I suppose she would - the dude is basically responsible for creating and spreading the disease she tried her best to fight and cost her mentor's death.

Not to be confused with that loser Laurent, Renault is the archetype of the knight dying with guilt over what he was forced to do, but in his situation, he was really forced to since his body was possessed by some Zenoiran dude. Add to that he feels like trash for having survived when Ilenia didn't, and wants to atone for what a Zenoiran did using his body, and we have a perfect FE guy lol

Everything about this guy screams "remorse" and "guilt" but I agree with the devs, it felt nice at least if only on the cover art of this artbook to see him enjoy a drink with his former allies, and finally not feel like trash anymore!

Good for him!

[supermacaquecool]

My explanations about the concepts and choices I made for this fic lol https://archiveofourown.org/works/44695096

So, first off: I originally had a different idea for partners, it being a rewrite of sorts of the doppelganger partnermon in the sewers segment; I do find what is revealed about the kids there really interesting but the samey experience and explanatory script frustrated me. That had me thinking about the state of the relationship between the kids and their partners. Ultimately, I had ran out of time to write the level of detail I wanted for each scenario, so I compressed the idea and picked a single focus character.

Why Saki? I believe it's just bc I had just been talking about her a lot lol My entry for red spider lily featured her and Ryo, so I wanted to show their relationship evolving through more snippets for other prompts through the week (and so I did in the few ones I did write lol). In the Red Spider Lily one, I wrote Saki as a fairly strong and grounding pressence to the spiraling Ryo, so for Partners, the situation is a bit reversed lol

Saki's main woe is naturally the baggage surrounding her chronic illness; and I had been babbling about the significance behind her evo line, particularly in how it evidences her avoidance coping. Vegiemon itself could be interpreted to show her own "care mistakes" towards her own person. And it is Survive, we have a whole arc about a certain kid's extremely negative perception of his partner reflecting his own violent self loathing. I know the Blossomon quip about her still not being cute is meant to be an adv referential gag, but it's too consistent for me not run with it. I had to link her worries about appareance to her worries about her own body, so I went for a visceral, unflattering description of Vegiemon and an emphasis in its physical weakness as a way to hopefully parallel Saki's own discomfort with her own body (my penchant for writing emotions with physicality came really in handy to transition into unpleasant awareness of her own body and its limits.)

Another fragment I have to highlight is the opening lines:

"Saki doesn't mean to sound ungrateful nor mean, but… Of All Things, Why did Floramon have to turn into Vegiemon?!"

I remember the opening paragraph went through a lot of edits because I had to find a way to nail her voice. For all her subtleties, Saki has a really strong voice, she really comes across as an opinionated free spirit, so I had to look for the kind of wording that could match her energy, so I edited my sentence structure to be more conversational and casual and a lil more judgemental. I highlight the opening lines bc I didn't feel like I had a good grasp on her voice until I felt I nailed those, revising the rest of the text felt easier once I had them as it was a matter of matching them.

"Why had she changed like that, when Floramon is so cute?! Saki had turned around in case anyone said anything, but no one did. Granted, the other partners that had evolved had scary looks, so the others probably didn't think much of it. Still, Saki couldn't help but to feel Vegiemon looked out of place…"

I also thought this passage was a good way to sort of include her worries about her chronic illness alienating socially. When writing her interactions with others, I kept in mind her worries about being rejected/abandoned as the source of her keenness/reservations to speak. Having her first consultation about the meaning of each partner-human pair be with Haru and Miyuki was useful to kickstart her feelings of social inadequacy that pop in all the interactions lol But I also liked the scene I pictured between them, with the hard to understand yet palpable grief and pain both of them exude. Relying on small motion cues for Miyuki was also good to showcase Saki as observant.

Minoru and Miu's segment had the theme of "coolness". It was really good to write a strong sense of comraderie between them due their common sensibilities, as well to show the sense of safety they get from their partners having a bit of a different nuance: Minoru taking on a more thoughtless attitude of "our partners are so cool they can solve anything" and Miu of "I'm glad to know my dear friend is safe in this form". Ofc, Vegiemon is neither cool nor safe, so it was pretty easy to interseped Saki's negative thoughts in between. I had to be careful to make it in stops and starts, since she's not the kind who really wants to dwells on her worries.

Ryo and Aoi were all about reliability. Kunemon evolving showcases Ryos newfound confidence that allows him to act and hope for the best, thus being a new budding pillar for the group. He's still defensive about him doing his best, ofc. Aoi values Labramon's aggression and power bc it allows her to be assertive and reliable, so Saki's description of Dobermon and Aoi's wording reflect that. This theme felt like a good place to bring to a head Saki's worries about being a burden/not being able to accomplish the tasks she wants since she's facing two ppl whose actions tangibly and intentionally support the whole group. And also, the aforementioned reversal of roles for Ryo and Saki.

Characters I excluded:

-Takuma's relationship with agumon is generally very stable, and his observant and soothing pressence would likely make me stop on an interaction with him to resolve the conflict. Since I wanted to keep the theme of avoidance and indirectness running, he'd just ruin it 😂

-Kaito: I didn't want to pair him with Miu, and Minoru, Ryo and Aoi I had already paired, so he got dumped with Takuma to get nixed 😂 Aside from that, the contrast of base form vs aggressive, edgy adult stage comes way stronger with Labramon than with Dracmon-Sangloupmon. Them filling similar niches meant Kaito really needed not to appear (plus, there's nothing surprising about his partner being aggressive).

-Shuuji: Cautionary tale about the worst behavior Saki could sink to. She wouldn't approach him lol

The ending: I had to explain where Floramon had been and bring a small sense of closure to Saki's partnership with her, so Floramons undying support in the form of foraging was cute and serviceable enough.

Other things: I had been researched emergency rations in Japan, so I took great pleasure including a line about canned bread tasting like cardboard.

This whole paragraph was just really amusing to me:

He shows her his phone screen, where there's a drawing of Goku riding a dinosaur. Saki lets out a small chuckle. It's so Minoru. Of course all there is to him is that Dyatrimon is cool. He’s such a kid.

Comparing Minoru to Goku, having her diss him for being simple minded, call him childish even tho he's older than her. All really really funny to me.

I really patted myself in the back for keeping the bug theme with a common idiom here lmfao

Ah, typical Ryo, always jumping on the defensive. Better not to swing at the wasp nest.

Writing Aoi be salty and admonish Ryo was also very funny to me. This is why she gets teased over being a nag 😂

Overall, I was very proud about being able to steer Saki's observations back to the theme of evos and her anxieties.

[unionizedwizard]

I'm actually obsessed with Minfilia because she's literally a HR manager, but like, considering the genre she's in, the rare and elusive Actually Good-Aligned HR manager. like:

• Typical HR manager hairstyle (and color), as well as fashion sense

• Weirdly close and yet markedly hierarchical relationship with her receptionist/bookkeeper (who wears a similar, but obviously less fancy, outfit)

• She's in charge here but mostly handles, well, human resources and inter-organization matters. Conducts job interviews, has her own personal office which holds The Organization's Statement, Historically Important Piece

• Definitely lied to the wol during their job interview about the workplace benefits they would be entitled to; as G'raha remarked in early endwalker, we *should* get our aetheryte fees reimbursed [of course it might simply be a gameplay feature (doylist explanation) but i find it funnier and also accurate to the way the Scions work wrt the wol]. Also whether or not we get paid *at all* remains debatable. All of this (plus the fact there are other candidates for the job when we first go to the Waking Sands, and that, at the time, we were merely a novice adventurer, not *the warrior of light*) hints at some suspect HR practices. Pretty sure Minfilia thought we'd be (cheap, abundant) workforce (as common adventurers), who had potential (due to our suspected Echo), but don't usually expect benefits or look too closely at the fine print (sidenote: we did not even sign a contract. In typical small business fashion, the Scions let their uninsured, non-salaried freelance worker bear the worse of the workload and deal with the worse and most dangerous parts of the job)

• We were hired *because* of Our Health Condition, which i still find hilarious (and mirrors that one time We Got Fired From Our Gig Job because of Our Health Condition), but not offered any medical attention or insurance or even benefits/accommodations (come on, we could get extra PTO after each "canonically makes you feel ill and unsafe" Narratively Meaningful Vision.)

• "We're all a family here :) come on what we do is for the greater good, surely you wouldn't let all those people die?" <- typical NGO/social work HR manager statement. If you know you know

• In a position of leadership and direct management, but not the actual boss (who is actually the founder's direct relative (no, it's not a cult, whatever made you think so?)). Since theyre a non-profit and can't afford to take bribes from the local gouvernements (lol) they have to do what all charities do: curry the favor of their wealthy patron and therefore submit to the whims of Little Lord Alphinaud. Meaning that Minfilia's leeway is strictly limited whenever she and Alphinaud disagree on something (see: moving headquarters to Revenant's Toll; founding the Crystal Braves)

• Established cliques. The Archons as senior/high-skilled members are clearly keeping to themselves while all the adventurers stay together (a social dynamic that we tend to forget considering that the massacre happened quite early in the story and we never saw much of j'moldva and cie, as the only surviving adventurers, afterwards). I am reminded of many, many a remark made by union spokespeople in my real-life labor relations meetings on this matter. The wol themselves is used as neutral party/pawn by both Minfilia and Alphinaud (remember that Alphinaud once asked if you had Minfilia's permission to be somewhere. They both are your bosses!)

• Her workplace promotion turned her into the literal "Word of the Mother", aka literally God's Spokesperson, The Ultimate HR Manager. Representing Hydaelyn in our dispute with Ardbert's gang in HW, and then acting on Her behalf to stop the Flood of Light on the First (so like, quite literally a "human resources manager". If you forgive the off-color joke here)

the second minfilia said 'in time, i hope you come to think of us as family', the wol shouldve demanded a contract that clearly states their expected responsibilities to the scions in writing because statements like that in what amounts to a job interview are a giant fucking red flag

[emmetrain]

Who is Emmet--an overview of how I see my portrayal of him;;

Emmet is passion. He is mainly a character who represents fire. His passion and competitiveness overshadow anything else. He burns brightly and his emotions are open for anyone to see. He can be hot-headed and act without thinking. Yet, his call-to-action being so quick serves as a jumpstart for any projects Ingo or others bring to the table.

Emmet has self-sacrificial tendencies and works against himself at times. This comes from the secondary type I see him as: steel. He has his convictions and core beliefs. He is hard to mold, that's true. And he is super-effective against himself with how much he burns. You accidentally touch one of the core beliefs, not realizing the steel frame that holds his mind together is on fire.

Emmet is not after big dreams or wild fantasies. He is just some guy at the end of the day. Bug-type determines the daily life of him; he is one of many, small, hard to notice unless you are in proximity of his niche, which is double and multi battles in the battle facility. Even if you use the commute lines of Nimbasa, he is not someone memorable. He is helpful, but his reach is limited. During the events of B&W and B2&W2, he is no where near the action, since he is tending to his own facility, and mostly held back by Ingo and the fear of losing the normal, quiet life they have.

Electricity is Ingo's type, but Emmet is not harmed by it in return. His draw to electric types, and if we bring in passive powers depending on threads, his power of electricity absorption, is the ultimate proof of how well they complement each other, and how they protect each other. In return, Ingo is not phased by fire, and does not panic easily as Emmet seethes and loses it.

He is also a man of contradictions: he loves himself. So so much. He loves being Emmet, living his "truth" as the meaning of his name hints at. He also has regrets from his past, and does not think highly of himself. Which is, hard for him to address, since for all intent and purposes, he does not have self-hatred. It is subtle, it is an illness in a way, how much he does not like himself or ready for self-sacrifice.

He is incredibly smart, as he is building robot arms and cyborg Joltiks, and gathering immense data from all the battles of Battle Subway to gain meaningful results from them. He is an advance battler and strategist. But despite the intelligence, his wisdom is not it. Nope. He lacks common sense in most absurd ways. He is so painfully unaware in many aspects: social interactions, healthy relationships...

He is a sweet person. His promise with Ingo to be a good person makes him verrry hard to ever cause harm willingly. Yet, he holds grudges, does not address emotional problems, and can be so soooo bitter.

Overall, he is just a man who tries to have a good life, and be good at what he does, which is Pokemon battles. He does not want anything more than a peaceful life with his twin by his side. And I just find him so endearing ;;;

[forestlingincorporated]

I wanna talk about Janet Drake

I’m not against exaggeratedly evil versions of Tim’s parents, tbh. It’s fanfiction, if we can depict an Exaggeratedly Good version of Bruce (which we can, and I do, and I love) then we can depict the Drakes as Exaggeratedly Bad. As someone who personally identifies with Tim, and his brand of complicated parental abuse in particular, I find it cathartic to uncomplicate that abuse and rescue him from the Obviously Evil Bad People. 

That said, since much of comics lore is passed down word of mouth, the oral tradition surrounding Tim has developed this idea of Janet as The Worse Parent between her and Jack that was never really present in the comics. We see much LESS of Janet, and we have 20 years worth of comics depicting Jack as a neglectful hotheaded idiot who ultimate does love his son. More importantly, Jack isn’t very much LIKE Tim, so there is a habit to attribute Tim’s traits to his mother... and, as someone who really really identifies with Tim, Tim has... some negative traits. Tim can be a bitch sometimes. He’s fiercely intelligent and sweet and kind, with a strong sense of justice, but he can be cold and judgmental and unthinking - he fights those traits, but he does have them. 

And it is perfectly fine to depict Janet that way. I’ve enjoyed depictions of Cold Calculating Janet Drake, but it’s not the ONLY option, and I want to challenge fans to consider different avenues. Tim could pick up these traits from anywhere: a nanny, Mrs. Mc Ilvaine (”Mrs. Mac”), a teacher, tv, Sherlock Holmes novels, Bruce Wayne himself. Tim is capable of not being like EITHER parent. 

So, what do we KNOW about Janet? (I’ll also touch on Jack, but only in scenes he appears with Janet.) 

When Janet was first introduced she was depicted as a gentle but “modern” woman. This was written in 1989, told by a 13 year old Tim, so this theoretically was meant to take place in 1979. I’m not here to give a lecture on the history of sex discrimination in the united states, but much of the legislation protecting women in the workforce or surrounding women’s bodily autonomy would have been very very new in this initial depiction. 

Here, Janet is shown to be encouraging, emotional, maternal, and projects her own feelings onto Tim. Jack is shown to be slightly sexist, possibly discouraging, but not overbearing. And the artist is shown not to know how to draw children. 

To insert some speculation, I think it’s important to note all the Drakes witnessed a terrible murder/accident that day. I point this out, because this is the last time Jack and Janet are depicted this way. It’s possible they changed as a result of this event specifically. 

However, this is also a story being told by Tim. It’s also possible these events aren’t really “real” at all, and Tim is misremembering what his parents were like as a three-year-old, possibly projecting a more palatable version of his parents into the narrative. This is entirely up to personal interpretation. 

In fact, the Drakes are shown in Legend of the Dark Knight attending Haly’s Circus, and the artist knows what a toddler looks like and they’re depicted as already having a slightly strained relationship. Jack is clearly on the defensive, and Janet seems to be passive-aggressive, though she could just be attempting to explain the situation to her toddler honestly. The intended tone isn’t especially clear. 

I do want to point out, in this depiction, Tim isn’t being carried like he was in the previous one. He’s walking ahead of his parents, which isn’t a terrible horrible crime, but could be dangerous in a crowded place like the circus. Might be a subtle hint to his parents overall neglect. 

Back to A Lonely Place of Dying, in Tim’s memories of the night he discovered Robin and Dick Grayson were the same person at nine-years-old, his parents are home, and watching TV together while Tim played... trucks, idk, in the living room with them. (This is semi-interesting, because you could say “oh, Tim liked vehicle toys as a kid” or you could extrapolate that this is another subtle indication of Jack’s sexism, providing Tim with appropriately “boy toys.” Either interpretation is valid. If Tim was assigned female at birth, would they have been given “girl toys,” or allowed to play with whatever they wanted?) 

This is, to my knowledge, the only panel of the Drakes when Tim is between ages 3 and 13. They’re all together, which might indicate that the Drakes were home more often when Tim was 9, only later going on business trips when Tim was “old enough” but... 

This is Tim’s boarding school when he’s 13. While most boarding schools in the US are for grades 9-12, Tim is clearly not a freshman at age 13; look how much younger the other kids in this panel are. In the US, the youngest you can attend most boarding schools is 7. 

That means Tim could have begun going to boarding school anytime between 7 and 13. He most likely spent all of middle school in boarding school, at least. There are an almost infinite number of possible ways the Drakes handled having a business that required lots of international travel, an archeology hobby, AND a very young child. Janet staying home until Tim was 7, 11, 13, is equally possible as the Drakes having a nanny until 7, 11, 13. Tim just doesn’t talk about that period of his life very much.

(”What about Mrs. Mac?” - it is unclear when Mrs. Mac begins working for the Drakes. We only see her when Jack comes out of his coma. She could either be a long standing staff member, or a recent hire.) 

Note: I’ve seen it said that it’s canon that “According to Tim, when his parents were home, they made a point to try and include him in their activities, bringing him along to events that were normally adults only.” I have never seen this panel, or I don’t remember it, so I cannot confirm, but I also cannot debunk this because... comics. 

By the time Tim is 13, Jack and Janet are away on business trips a lot, with limited communication, and no firm return date. If I’m feeling generous, I’d say it was harder to communicate internationally in 1990 than it is today. If I’m not feeling generous, I’d say the Drakes are extremely wealthy, and international communication was easier than ever before in the 80s and 90s. They’re not even going home to see Tim in a week or two, they’re going home and calling Tim at boarding school in a week or two. 

Even Bruce thinks its weird, though he doesn’t say so to Tim’s face. It’s written almost as if Tim’s parents’ neglect was meant to be a plot point that just got forgotten about. 

Tim’s parents are fighting at this point (their poor assistant), but Janet still goes with Jack on these business trips. And she’s clearly involved in the business, somehow, but the comics never SAY what Janet’s JOB is. We’re told Jack is the exec, but Janet is ONLY ever referred to as Jack’s wife, though they’re later described as the “heads” of the company, plural. 

Just to be clear, this is Jack’s business. There’s a perception that Jack is a bad business man because he and Janet fight over company decisions, and Jack looses the business after Janet dies, but Jack looses the company YEARS after Janet dies, and maintains it for about a year after No Man’s Land at that. We’re not told how Jack looses the business, but he’s got to be doing something right. Janet isn’t necessarily the “real brains” of Drake Industries. 

And I’m not... gonna... touch the... exploitation and racism because... I’m not qualified to do that. But, here’s the panel. The Drakes sure seem exploitative and racist in their business decisions. Someone else can... analyze that with more nuance. 

Regardless how how long they’ve been fighting, when their lives are in danger, the Drakes fall back into a loving husband and wife. Their marriage may be falling apart, but they do care about each other. 

I want to show these panels because it shows that Tim and Jack do have things in common. They’re both level headed in a crisis and can be somewhat cold in their practicality. Janet meanwhile and silent. Jack is later willing rant and rave at their captors, but Janet remains silent. 

That is, until they’re alone, and she finally lets herself fall apart. 

God, Jack can be obnoxious. Janet just looks miserable and resigned. I actually think Tim takes after his parents in this respect in equal measure. Tim can have a temper, but he can also be fairly melancholy and defeatist. 

Jack keeps reminding Janet to be strong and in control, which could be period typical sexism? But Jack seems so practiced and ready with the words of encouragement, and with Tim’s history with depression, I wonder if Janet has an inclination towards it as well. 

As the end approaches, when Jack brings up Tim, Janet seems to have a lot of regret. She talks about “wasting” the good things, and I don’t think it’s too big of a stretch to assume she’s talking about time spent with her only child. 

From this point on, Janet is at times spoken of, but not seen. Like here, when Jack says Janet wouldn’t approve of him and Tim being so “far apart.” He says this after he tells him he takes back his threat to send him back to boarding school, which might imply Janet was against the idea of boarding school? Though she obviously lost that argument when she was alive. 

Jack will of course renege on this later, but that’s Jack Drake for you. 

Or here in Tim’s illness induced dream, where he gets everything he wants. Though, since this is a fantasy of Tim’s, where his father and girlfriend are both more accepting and understanding than they are in real life, I would take this depiction of Janet with a grain of salt. 

After loosing Drake Industries, Jack thinks about Janet (though, they call her Catherine/Cathy for some fucking reason) during his depressive episode. And... uh... 

Hallucinates a Valkyrie???? Is this symbolic of suicidal thoughts, or is she... real? Or is he seriously hallucinating? 

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss Jack’s mental state, the fact that he forgot Tim’s birthday, or that concerning “I was going to knock some sense into you but you’re still bigger than me” statement from Tim, we’re here to talk about Janet. And even though this entire arc is about Jack mourning his first wife, they don’t SAY anything about Janet herself at all. I mean, they don’t even get her name right, so I guess what was I expecting. 

Then there’s Origins and Omens, which also doesn’t say anything about Janet, except that Tim’s memory of her is faulty - Janet was poisoned, her assistant Jeremy’s throat was slit on television, but Tim seems to have conflated the death he did see with the death he didn’t. 

The only piece of canon to suggest that Janet might be cold, is Tim compares her to Thalia. And even then, he’s really just saying Janet was protective of him. It’s kind of a scary look to make at your kid, but Bruce does the same thing, so. 

I do want to say... it’s not 100% clear if Tim is even talking about Janet. He could be talking about Dana. Dana was observably protective of Tim, though I don’t think he’s ever called her mom. He PROBABLY means Janet. 

And finally we have Tim visiting his mother’s grave (in a duel Christian/Jewish cemetery, make of that what you will), where Tim says she was “a little religious.”

And that’s it! That is all we know about Janet Drake in New Earth. Hardly the Mom From Hell, but she isn’t perfect. I’d be interested in seeing some alternate depictions of her within the fandom. 

I’m still gonna eat up Terrible Parents From Hell like a starving puppy dog, though. Just some food for creative thought. 

[fanficsforloki]

To Prove To You - a brief explanation

(look at him, he's a baby angel)

See the masterlist here

A sea nymph is a mythical creature from Greek mythology, usually depicted as a beautiful female figure with the tail of a fish. They are often associated with the sea and water, and said to have great powers over the ocean and its inhabitants.

Sea nymphs were often depicted in ancient Greek art and literature, and continue to be a source of inspiration for artists and writers today.

In Norse mythology, the equivalent of a sea nymph would be a mermaid, which is often called a "daughter of the sea." Mermaids are depicted as beautiful female figures with the tails of fish, and they are often associated with the ocean and its dangers. In Norse mythology, mermaids are often said to lure sailors to their doom by singing.

That's it, Nereide has the appearance of a common nymph.

As you know by now, she can control water with her magic, is well-versed in white magic and healing magic. These are classic elements of many mythological figures, especially those associated with the sea.

These practices are often associated with shamanism, nature magic, and ancient paganism. In many cultures, the ability to control and interact with the natural world through supernatural means is a key aspect of these spiritual practices.

A nymph like Nereide can be either a good sorceress or an evil one, depending on her personal beliefs and actions.

That's a trait that intrigues Loki and pushes him to discover more about her. In many myths, nymphs are often depicted as having the power to be either benevolent or malevolent, depending on whether they choose to use their magic for good or for ill. Ultimately, it is up to her.

It is reasonable to assume that, in the relationship between Nereide and Loki, both parties would influence each other to some extent. In Norse mythology, Loki is known for his trickery and mischief, while Nereide, as a sea nymph, would likely have a more otherworldly and mystical perspective.

Even though i really appreciate Marvel's Loki (both comics and movies, thank you Mr Hiddleston for being such a great interpreter), i go crazy for mythology so blablabla it's a fanfic, why should i explain my choices.

The biggest thing to understand about Loki is that he simultaneously represented everything the Norse didn’t like but also represented some of the realities of what was necessary to get ahead. You aaall remember that Loki is a frost giant riiight?

The Jotun are representations of nature, or the wild untamed primal elements that the Norse, and subsequently the Aesir, struggled against. That's the perfect combo with a nature creature like Nereide.

The Jotun are tricky, they’re always using underhanded tactics to get their way, shapeshifting and using illusions to give impossible challenges, all that kind of stuff. In most cases the Aesir are supposed to face off against this stuff, and prove that their forthright ways are more than a match for the Jotuns’ trickery.

Loki has always been a problem for the Aesir, and his pranks are the source of problems nearly as much as the Jotuns are. He behaves in every way that an Aesir is expected not to.

BUT, but...

For as much crap Loki does, he typically solves even more problems than he causes. And as disasterful as Asgard finds his trickery, without him it would have ended up hoisted by its own petard from all its forthright ways. Norse mythology seems oddly self-aware at the hypocrisy of the gods, as even when Loki’s misdeeds finally catch up to him, he basically ends his career with the Aesir with a pantheon-wide roast calling out each and every one of them for being just as big a cock as he is, without the grace to admit it to themselves.

I see him as kind of the Norsemen’s way of saying:

“Look, sometimes your ideals, your strength, and all your forthrightness, it’s not going to be enough. Sometimes you need a bastard. You don’t trust that bastard, and more often than not that bastard is going to screw you over in the end, but you need him all the same, so don’t ever forget it.”

(thank you Evan Sageser)

Sooo both Nereide and Loki are somehow chaotic neutral.

Odin is hesitant to trust Nereide at first, given the mermaids' reputation as treacherous creatures. However, as the god of wisdom and knowledge, Odin may also be open to the possibility that Nereide is a unique and powerful figure who could be an asset to the gods if she is given a chance, that's why he lets Frigga to keep her.

Odin is also known for his desire for knowledge and his quest to understand the mysteries of the universe, so he might see her as a potential source of wisdom and information. However, it is possible that Odin might also perceive Nereide as a threat or an adversary, as she has the potential to wield great power and could potentially challenge the authority of the Gods. He doesn't really blame Poseidon.

Loki is known as chaotic and morally ambiguous. Nereide also possesses a more chaotic or unpredictable nature due to her connection with the element of the ocean, which can be both destructive and creative. Odin knows that whether either of them falls into the chaotic neutral category would depend on their specific actions and motivations. However, Odin is concerned about the potential for chaos and destruction that a relationship between these two chaotic entities could bring about.

They are not good or evil, but rather they exist somewhere in between. They are both capable of good and bad things, and they will act in whatever way seems best in any situation. Their unpredictable behavior is part of who Loki and Nereide are and that they are not going to ever change.

That's why Odin has to separate them.

(Also keep in mind that Loki and Nereide are Best Girl Friends forever and you will discover why. Lady Loki is my big crush)

Anyway Thor is always the more chaotic sibling in the family. The boy has too much energy. What a golder retriever.

[tenthgrove]

Soft Yandere Tizano and squalo

Yandere La Unita

Content Warnings: yandere behaviour, manipulation, abduction, forced dependency, violence, unhealthy relationships, the general existence of Dolcio Cioccolata.

Squalo and Tiziano

It isn't common for Squalo and Tiziano to interact with civilians. Or anyone really, since the pair are largely content with each other's company and nothing more. The sole exception to this is the necessary interactions that result from their frequent shopping trips, from which you, the cashier of their favourite boutique, came into play.

The pair observed you innocuously for many months, slowly learning practically everything that could be known about you simply from overheard conversations with colleagues. You dare say you liked them, even, as they were friendlier than your average customer and a familiar face to look forward too.

One day, Squalo sits Tiziano down and admits his attraction to you. It was meant to be an honourable confession, an honest admittance of wrongdoing to ensure no harm comes to the relationship. To Squalo's shock, Tiziano chuckles and announces he feels the same way. It's time the couple started to pursue you actively.

The defining feature of how Squalo and Tiziano obtain you is that it's calculated and smart. Squalo's happy to just walk up to you and ask for you to be together (or barring that, just abduct you), but it is Tiziano who convinces him otherwise. Not only would conventional methods of wooing you be unlikely to work, but they have practical concerns to worry about as well, being high-ranking members of the mafia. They're going to have to plan something a little more nuanced.

During a visit to your store, Squalo slips a little bit of paper into your pocket. You open it at home that evening to find your own address, along with several belonging to your closest friends and family listed out, above a message instructing you to come to a location of their choice the next day or they'll start paying these people visits. It's an outdoor restaurant in the middle of the city, where there's bound to be a lot of people. They don't want to scare you too much after all.

You arrive at the restaurant the next day on weak knees. Squalo and Tiziano thank you for coming, before introducing themselves in no uncertain terms as mafiosos who have taken an interest in you, and would like to start dating. You read between the lines that you don't have an option to say no.

However, the pair make clear the incentives to accept their offer are just as profound as the threats against refusing it. Are you in education? They're happy to support you in continuing it. Do you work? They have more than enough money to support you in reducing your hours or, if it's something you genuinely enjoy, bribing the right people to advance your career. Ultimately, Squalo and Tiziano know the carrot is just as important as the stick.

Thought you aren't forced to go home with them there and then, it soon becomes clear you're expected to sort your affairs quickly and move in within the next couple of months. From that point on, the couple will treat you as though you've been together for years, expecting you to address them as your partners as well.

Both Squalo and Tiziano are very touchy in their own ways, and while they would never force themselves on you, are more than happy to trail their hands up and down your arms early on. They are also both incredibly teasing, and will pick up on all your reactions.

The good news is that the level of freedom afforded to you is high from the get-go. Even from the beginning, you're allowed to maintain control of your finances and go out by yourself provided you tell them. Just be warned they'll occasionally check in on you by surprise to make sure you're actually where you said you would go. The one thing they do quite heavily police is social visits. The possibility of you revealing to someone they forced you to be with them is very acute, not that you would get very far if you did try to run away. It's not that you can't have friends, you just need to be very honest about who you're meeting and why.

Cioccolata and Secco

If Dolcio Cioccolata has taken an interest in you and his intentions aren't torture or murder, it can only mean one thing- you are someone very dear to him, and have been so for a long time. Chances are, you probably trust him a lot back. Cioccolata's gotten very good at acting normal around his respectable friends, after all.

The two main possibilities are that you know him as a family friend and became close through parties, or you're a chronically ill patient who found yourself in his care, and were lucky enough to avoid his scalpel long enough for a genuine mutual bond to form. It could be both. You could have fallen ill after knowing him for a long time. He could have made you ill.

As for Secco, Cioccolata will only pursue you as a lover with his consent. Cioccolata would never want his darling pet to feel neglected, after all, and for that reason it's only when Secco confesses a fondness for you that Cioccolata decides its time to make you his own. Secco is immediately very excited at the thought of you joining them, and for a while Cioccolata's main concern is actually stopping him from giving their plans away.

As much as Cioccolata would love to pluck you from your home, he knows that would only get him caught. The police are already after a serial killer with surgical knowledge, and taking you like that would just make him a suspect. So he does something more covert, he invites you over. You enjoy a lovely night gorging snacks and watching TV with your two friends, until Cioccolata invites you to the basement. As you go down, he snatches your phone and sends out the first of many messages designed to trick your family into thinking you've run away.

Waiting for you there in the basement, to your horror, is a functional operating theatre, complete with spatter after spatter of blood. You'll probably try to run, but the door is already locked. But don't worry, your blood won't be joining that on the table tonight. As Cioccolata explains to you as you cower in the corner, he treasures your bond very much, the tender feeling of what they call 'romance' that fills his heart whenever you look at him, the obscure sense of care for another human being. He won't be subjecting you to his operations.

That is, until your inevitable first attempt at escape. Although he'll still stop short of outright torturing you (providing a generous dose of general anaesthetic and subsequent painkillers) his 'alterations' to your limbs will lead you unable to walk or carry out fine motor skills. You'll be entirely dependent on his and Secco's care. As he assures you frequently, the changes are entirely reversible and you can have all your old mobility back with another operation and a little physical therapy, but for Cioccolata to give that to you, you're going to have to earn it.

Cioccolata keeps his promise to reverse the damage he did to you, but by the time that happens a lot has changed. He hasn't conditioned you to become like Secco as that would involve removing everything that first endeared him to you, but you're still going to have to become a lot more warmed up to him to trust you with your limbs back. At least you'll be treated like royalty in the meantime, even if you are still a prisoner. Cioccolata will remind you every day you're his darling pet, just like Secco.

Doppio

Doppio was never allowed to have lovers when the Boss was around. He found it a little hypocritical since the boss once told him he had a girlfriend, but he guessed he understood his reasoning and, either way, he would never question his boss. The boss is gone now, and Doppio has nobody to guide him anymore. He's alone and doesn't know what to do; even the old hideouts the new boss never found feel cold and empty, and Doppio can't bring himself to enter them. Then he met you.

You weren't quite sure what you were looking at, seeing a fine-dressed, disoriented boy stumbling around in the rain outside your window. Nonetheless, you knew he was in no state to be alone so you went out and approached him. When it was clear he had nobody to call, you invited him in.

As you leave him alone in the sitting room to make coffee, Doppio's mind is going in cartwheels. You've been so kind to him, and deep down in his heart something tells him the two of you were meant for each other. This could be his new start! Someone to rely on, to depend upon to give him purpose! But wait- if he leaves tonight he might never see you again! As he panics, Doppio decides he can't let that happen. He needs to have you tonight.

The second you return to the sitting room, Doppio pounces on you. As he frantically assures you that everything's going to be okay, you pass out from shock. You wake up in a strange house, tied to an extravagant bed. Your screams bring Doppio to your room. He quickly reassures you he isn't going to hurt you and is doing this so you can be together.

Doppio has some (i.e, a few million quid) money he was able to salvage from before the boss' fall, and he's going to use it however possible to please you. He will buy you anything and everything you desire short of freedom, making his own guesses about what you'd like if you refuse to talk.

His initial plan is to keep you locked up in that room (or at very least the wider house) forever, since it's safest for you and his old boss never went out much, but eventually he relents at your distress. He'll let you out eventually, if that's what it takes to make you smile.

On that note, the best thing about being Doppio's darling is how easy it is to turn the tables on him. Once you've behaved yourself for a while, having learned what keeps Doppio satisfied, it's very easy to become the dominant one in the relationship and make him let you do whatever you want. His sole desire is to serve you, after all.

[beccanoodles]

Spike and Faye Pairing Analysis

March 2021

Ah the hit or miss pairing of the century! If you don’t love it, you probably hate it lol. I’m a very analytical person so I love analyzing works of art and overall enjoy deep discussions about them too. I have SO much to say when it comes to Cowboy Bebop (and oh I plan to), but I have decided to start with my very own OTP. Here, I am not really going to discuss Spike and Faye’s feelings for each other, but rather why I think people are drawn to this pairing and why I think they're totally valid. Get ready for a long read!😁

⚠️SPOILER WARNING!!! [Major Cowboy Bebop and the movie Out of the Past spoilers]⚠️

First off, let’s clear something up. I am confident most of us can agree that Spike was in love with Julia. Some people assume Spike and Faye fans are deranged and disregard Spike and Julia’s romantic relationship to try and make something of Spike and Faye that never was. While some people may have their various theories and opinions on this, generally, I don’t think anyone denies Spike’s love for Julia. As we will see, this pairing is not really driven by who loves who...let’s first look on the surface.

I don’t know your experiences with the series, but in mine, every time I show this to people it never fails for someone to say something along the lines of,

“Wait, they don’t end up together?”

“Why didn’t he kiss her!?”

“He should have stayed with her...”

and so fourth. 

Naturally, this pairing catches many eyes. 

Think about it, you are given two really cool, really hot and really deep characters that are really fun to see together! There are so many parallels between the two and they are arguably the strongest characters of the bunch. Granted, you can agree with this and still not ship them, but these aspects are part of what opens up the door for many fans of the pairing.

However, there is certainly more to this pairing than them simply looking good together right? As the years pass and I’ve now seen the show multiple times, my understanding of it has evolved in many areas, Spike and Faye included. 

Spike and Faye really couldn’t have ended up together. Sure, it’s a nice thought, but It would have been an entirely different show if they had. I don’t feel that the show should have happened any other way and I don’t think many other fans would either. 

So, what am I saying here?

What’s the point of this paring if I don’t think they should have ended up together? 

It is what's so frustrating about them, yet keeps you coming back and what honestly validates this pairing in my opinion. Spike and Faye are not driven by what is, but rather, what could be.  

I personally feel the themes of classic film Noir are not discussed enough when it comes to Cowboy Bebop! This is one of the show's major influences, especially when it comes to the plot and characters.

One of the common tropes of a film noir is that of a protagonist who is drawn back into his past and ultimate doom, usually by the “seduction” of a femme fatale. In these movies, the women are either a femme fatale [devious, dangerous, mysterious, greedy, troubled, or unreliable] or a woman of virtue [reliable, dutiful, trustworthy, conventional and loving]. 

I am going to use the 1947 classic, Out of the Past to make my comparisons from here on out.

In Out of the Past, Jeff is a former detective who gets caught up in a love triangle between a gangster and his girlfriend Kathie, sound familiar? He attempts to run away with her, but is betrayed and runs off to start a new life in a new town. Here, he meets Ann and falls in love with her, but of course, his past catches up to him and he is drawn back into the world of criminals (largely by Kathie’s involvement). This ultimately results in his and Kathie’s deaths and Ann’s heartbreak. 

Even though Kathie is the femme fatale in this movie, I found myself comparing her more to Julia’s role in the show, than to Faye’s and I found that Faye actually fit best in Ann’s role (this is a bit unusual considering Faye is typically seen as the femme fatale of this show).

Does that mean I think Julia was as ill intentioned as Kathie or that Spike fell in love with Faye? Well, not exactly, let’s look at it a bit further.

“The kind of beautiful, dangerous ordinary that you just can’t leave alone...Like an angel from the underworld or a devil from paradise.”

Most of what we get about Julia is from Spike’s point of view. From this, we learn she is at the center of Vicious and Spike’s conflict, but aside from that she is basically depicted as “The Virtuous Woman” of a noir. The colors around her are warm and she is shown caring for Spike. There is an innocence and modestly about her as well.

Yet, when we finally do meet Julia, we get a different image. We know she is tied up with dangerous men, but is she herself a dangerous woman?

She is certainly capable of betrayal. 

Suddenly she is a bad-ass-gun-toting woman in leather and black, surrounded by hues of grey and dark blue. Intentional or not, Julia is a major part of what lures Spike back into the past and ultimately to his death. In this case, Julia is the femme fatale of Spike’s story and thus, their relationship is doomed from the start.

Faye, on the other hand, is portrayed in somewhat of a contrast. When we first meet her, she is the clear cut femme fatale, appearing cunning, strong willed and seductive. However, we soon find that she has quite a bit of kindness and naivety hidden behind her facade. She uses the former tactics as a way of emotional (and probably physical) protection. Gren points this out in his conversation with her. 

Gren, 

“You’re just afraid they’d abandon you so you abandoned them. You distanced yourself from the whole thing.”

As the show progresses, we start to see less of her “femme fatale nature” and something more genuine. Think about it, between Hard Luck Woman and RFB Part 2 we don’t see much of Faye as her typical conniving or unreliable self, aside from changing the course of the Bebop maybe. Sure she takes off, but it isn’t at all for the same reasons she did in Jupiter Jazz or Speak Like a Child, for example. 

I would argue we actually see her more trustworthy and caring than ever. Since I don’t want to spend too much time talking about Faye’s character development (not here at least) I’ll give one example of this. 

When she returns to the Bebop after her encounter with Julia in RFB Part 1, she gives Spike the message, even though the outcome might hurt her (i.e. he leaves and/or dies). While she does first say “It’s gonna cost you,” she doesn’t really mean it because she tells him without hesitation only moments later.

This isn’t to say Faye good, Julia bad. Both women have their layers and even though we know way more about Faye, I don’t get the impression that Julia is selfish and cunning like Kathie was. But I do get the feeling she was enclosed in a world of crime and betrayal the way Kathie was. We really only know the basics of Spike and Julia’s situation. Who knows the details like motive or how long it lasted etc. etc. We can only speculate...

There is a scene towards the end of Out Of The Past, where Kathie tells Jeff to go away with her. This time it is her asking him, just like Julia asks Spike. During this she mentions,

“I never told you I was anything but what I am, you just wanted to imagine I was. That’s why I left you.”

This got me thinking...did Spike imagine Julia as something she wasn’t? Or something he wanted her to be that she just couldn’t be? 

It could explain why we get such contrasted images of her.

There are themes of this “dreamlike” relationship between Jeff and Kathie, similar to Spike and Julia’s “It was all a dream.”

The two of them were going to “live and be free,” probably something neither of them knew how to do and most likely wouldn’t have been able to get away with.

When Jet asks Spike if he can just forget the past, this is his answer.

Spike,

“There was a woman. For the first time in my life I saw a woman that was truly alive. At least that’s what I thought. She was the part of me I had lost, that part that was missing, that I had been longing for.”

I always wondered about this, because Spike is clearly talking about Julia, but right after is when Faye shows up. To me, that spoke volumes...

Faye is a woman who is terribly human and terribly alive.

Going back to Faye and Ann, I find their similarities shine not so much in the “Virtuous Woman,” concept, but rather in Ann’s dedication to Jeff and her optimism for the future. She is also the last person to talk to Jeff before he leaves for the final time, as if he were being presented with one last alternative. Spike spends his last moments with Faye as well, in which she basically begs him not to go and keep him in the present that she has now discovered for herself. She may be stuck, but she is definitely someone that yearns for human connection, love, and life.

The problem is, Spike and Faye are both set in opposite directions. Her’s leads to a future and Spike knows this because he points it out early on (My Funny Valentine). He also knows, his most likely does not. He has already dug himself too deep into this hole, if you will, that there is really no turning back. 

But let’s say none of that was an issue? What could be?

I sat and watched this movie (Out of the Past) with my mom. She didn’t know anything about it and didn’t know why I was watching it. I wanted her genuine reaction. The whole time she was getting mad at Jeff until the very end. I asked her why and she said that she wanted him to be able to live happily with Ann. I explained to her why he had to do what he did. She understood this, but still couldn’t help but be sad at how things turned out for him, when they could have been good.

Even though Kathie and Jeff are the “lovers,” of this movie, you don’t really want them to end up together. Forget that Kathie has a devious nature, regardless, you know where it has to end and you don’t want to see your hero die.

Like Kathie, Julia symbolizes Spike’s inevitable doom and Like Ann, Faye symbolizes his possible future. 

“I’ll be with you till the end”

                           “You’re the one still tied to the past Spike!”

                                                               “Why do you have to go? Where are you going? What are you gonna do, just throw your life away like it was nothing?!”

It’s two sides of a sad coin...

We want Spike to have a future and because we love the characters of the show, it would be really great if he could have it with them, but that is where the tragedy is. It's only an idea we can think about, a possibility presented to us as it was to Jeff and Spike before their deaths.

The bottom line is, when it comes to Spike and Faye you are really only given a taste. You are not given what you expect to see, which is why I say this ship is driven by what could be. As it is with most of the character relationships in the show, no major breakthroughs are made until the very end, when it's too late. Then it just feels like such wasted potential, but sometimes in life, that's how it is. And thus, we have been given a very classic noir here ladies and gentlemen!

So no, I don’t think people miss the mark when they ship Spike and Faye, nor do I find they invalidate the show by any means. I kind of like that Watanabe switched it up and didn’t do the expected, but left us those subtle hints. He didn’t outright give Spike another lover, but he gave us someone that represents what he could have. Kind of does that with the crew as a whole too!

UGH. I love-hate this show and I love this pairing! Thank you for reading my thoughts and I know this may not be the case or reasoning for everyone, but just based on what I have seen around the community and where this show draws inspiration, this is what I have concluded. I didn’t get into Spike and Faye’s feelings for each other because it gets a little more theoretical there, but I would like to do a post on my thoughts on that as well sometime. I also didn’t touch too much on Spike’s reasoning for choosing to face Vicious in the end, just because I know that will only lead into a whole other analysis lol. But you know I have my thoughts on that and certainly plan to share them 😎 Also, I know I basically spoiled it, but Out of the Past is such a great movie!! I think if you’re a fan of this show it's definitely worth a watch! There are so many more parallels to Cowboy Bebop that I didn’t even mention. Anyways, thanks again and talk to you soon!

[cienie-isengardu]

axelzp replied to “The Bad Batch”:

I think most people take issue with Omega and TBB due to concerns over whitewashing. Also, what do you have against the explanation of the biochips? Personally, I always thought it fit Palpatine's controlling nature better than the idea of clones just getting a command from some random guy in a hood, telling them to kill the Jedi.

First off, I apologize it took me so long to answer. I tried to explain my reasoning in a short and coherent way as possible, but apparently the years of frustration about this issue needed more space to be properly addressed. So, in advance, sorry for text length.

From all TCW changes done to star wars, the chip-in-brain is one of my top 3 reasons to dislike the whole TV show, despite many of its good moments. I understand why authors chose this sub-plot that allows them to separate the visibly individual "good" clones (thus making them more likeable for the audience / marketing) from the “bad” that kill the Jedi but frankly, I find it a cheap and kinda problematic excuse. Clones were victims regardless of which version people will accept but I really despite the idea that Jedi were their beloved generals and commanders - so beloved that clones actually had nightmares about killing them waaay before Palpatine ultimately won which undermines the whole point of Order 66. 

Jedi could never expect clones to shoot them in the back because they were used to their unquestioned obedience from the start of war. It was common knowledge, repeatedly mentioned in sources like “Jedi Trial” that clones were “bred to war, bred to discipline, bred to obey without question the orders of the powers that paid for their services”. Clones were made that way by genetic manipulations and years of intensive training; an indoctrination that makes clone troopers believe they have obey, no matter what cost.

Some sources, like Clone Wars Adventures’ “Orders” outright show us the mindset of clones:

and We’ve got nothing but each other ad our orders.

Because of that worldbuilding, I prefer Legends take on clone obedience and the Jedi approach to the problem than what TCW created. I talked about it more here, but the general sense is that I feel cheated by the idea of chips that turn people into some “programmed” machines because in such way, TCW erased the Jedi & Republic part in abuse & enslavement of clone troopers, while at the same time giving an unrealistic idea that Jedi were so liked / respected when most of clones did not have any special bond with them. And this is less about if Jedi were good military leaders or not and more that as generals/commanders they didn’t interact that much with common troopers. Because the chain of command doesn’t work like that. I’m willing to buy the close(r) bond between Anakin & 501st because frankly Darth Vader himself from the start was built as someone with better relationships with common troopers / “normal” officers than with most of the high ranking officers presented on screen. I’m pretty sure some other Jedi were caring and liking clones (and vice versa) but it is impossible for generals to know and be so close to all of their troopers.

Above everything else, Legends created an interesting situation in which the Jedi Council / Order knew clones would follow orders no matter if those were right or not and were aware how dangerous it could be yet they still didn’t do anything about it, because the obedience of clones were beneficial for them. Jedi not only took for granted their obedience, they mistook it for respect.

Which really speaks a lot about Jedi's own moral failing and/or lack of understanding the difference between those two terms.

In the Legends sources, there was no need for chips, really, when from the start Kaminoans tinkered with clone genome, created the effective system of “proper” education to mold clones into obedient soldiers and Republic wasn’t really interested to undo the damage done by such indoctrination. 

Before TCW brought the chips and “nightmares haunting clones” there were officially established Contingency Orders for the Grand Army of the Republic: Order Initiation, Orders 1 Through 150. A guideline for unexpected and/or critical situations, so the Great Army of Republic [GAR] would know how to proceed - especially when troopers were given contradictory orders. The orders (also known as Clone Protocols) weren’t secret and there is a big chance that Jedi knew it, if someone bothered to learn the manual. The whole formula of Order 66 was described as:

"In the event of Jedi officers acting against the interests of the Republic, and after receiving specific orders verified as coming directly from the Supreme Commander (Chancellor), GAR commanders will remove those officers by lethal force, and command of the GAR will revert to the Supreme Commander (Chancellor) until a new command structure is established."

And here how the scene played in the RotS novelisation:

That concealed compartment held a secure comlink, which was frequency-locked to a channel reserved for the commander in chief.

Kenobi nodded and spoke to his mount, and the great beast overleapt the clone commander on its way down into the battle.

Cody withdrew the comlink from his armor and triggered it.

A holoscan appeared on the palm of his gauntlet: a hooded man.

"It is time," the holoscan said. "Execute Order Sixty-Six."

Cody responded as he had been trained since before he'd even awakened in his creche-school. "It will be done, my lord."

The holoscan vanished. Cody stuck the comlink back into its concealed recess and frowned down toward where Kenobi rode his dragonmount into selflessly heroic battle.

Cody was a clone. He would execute the order faithfully, without hesitation or regret. But he was also human enough to mutter glumly, "Would it have been too much to ask for the order to have come through before I gave him back the bloody lightsaber. . . ?"

The order is given once. Its wave-front spreads to clone commanders on Kashyyyk and Felucia, Mygeeto and Tellanroaeg and every battlefront, every military installation, every hospital and rehab center and spaceport cantina in the galaxy.

So there is really no “random hooded guy” calling clones to kill Jedi but Chancellor himself using an appropriately secured military channel with confirmation of his identity to issue a legal order in a critical situation (an opportunity created by the Jedi Council themselves who went into the Senate building to kill Palpatine). So why the clones shouldn’t listen, when the order came directly from the Supreme Commander of the Great Army of the Republic? 

Of course, the movie (and novel based on it) alone has this weird addition like “yes my Lord'', what I personally consider as the cinematic way to show the switch from Chancellor Palpatine to Emperor Darth Sidious. Still, I’m willing to give some benefit of doubt about the modification made by Kaminoans and if Order 66 could trigger anything hidden in clone subconscious. But even if there was something, it didn’t erase their personalities or changed the way clones behaved like it happened in The Clone Wars and The Bad Batch.

One way or another, the Order 66 worked out because clones “have no malice, no hatred, not the slightest ill intent that might give warning. They are only following orders”. Which I guess comes down to how clone troopers were presented - or maybe rather how they were seen by other characters in the Legends. As more detached, combat pragmatic, toned down, to some degree isolated from the outside world, less individual. Regardless of what Jedi or Republic citizens thought about clones, it did not make them any less human beings.

And here comes the paradox of The Clone Wars. The TV show made great effort to humanize clones by presenting them as very individual, outstanding people which in itself is a great thing. The names, the tattos, the different paintings of armours, visible variety of behaviour. All great to make the audience see clones as human beings, to get emotionally invested into them, because the more likeable clones were the better for marketing the story (and the cynical part of me thinks it really comes down to making money, isn’t it?)

But this effort became also the trap and the inhibitor chips is the excuse to make such loved, caring and brave characters into the detached clones gunning down the Jedi in Revenge of the Sith. 

The things that irks me a lot about this situation is the feeling like fans started care for clones because they were made into different type of characters than what they were (similar like Anakin’s movie characterization was thrown out of the window, to make him more suitable for fans who wanted the badass typical male hero instead of introverted, conflicted and traumatized young man). The clones get the visible individuality to make them the heroes we should root for, but then there is the “magical” switch that will cut down their heroic deeds because now they are “bad” and stormtroopers can’t have any personality. Which is just… frustrating. 

Don’t get me wrong, I adore how clone troopers get more visible individuality (even if sometimes if felt too exaggerated), but the “not standing out from the group”  was something that kept clones alive on Kamino and I can see why it was used as coping mechanism (the safe option) during the war. I regret that The Clone Wars didn’t show the transition from AotC nameless troopers into such individuals and how much it happened thanks to Jedi, what may help to build the feeling of supposed strong bond between Jedi and troopers. Because frankly, when we met TCW!clones, they already have names, different colors and marks on armor plates and helmets and for all we know, they could create their own “culture” without Jedi influence.

The final part of why I hate the chip-in-brain sub-plot is how it changed clones. Because even if that was a means to force clones into killing Jedi & ensure that Order 66 will be carried on no matter what, it shouldn’t change them into bullies toward their own brothers. But now in The Bad Batch, the clones don’t speak between themselves, are aggressive toward others and generally act like assholes for no real reason. And yeah, I get this may be a cinematic metaphor for a change from “good” republic soldiers into “bad” imperial stormtroopers and most likely something along the way “Republic/Jedi gave you individuality, Empire takes that away” but frankly, Republic did not give anything to clones. It did not acknowledge their human right, didn’t have any plan for their future, didn’t pay for their service or more expensive medical treatment for that matter, did not teach them they could - should - make their own choices.

Now clones are cheering for the Empire because inhibitor chips! They are assholes, because inhibitor chips! They shoot their *beloved* Jedi generals because of the chips! 

And in a way, I get this resolution, the chips make it clear clones were victims. But even without them, they were victims from the start. Except now clones are “programmed” while in Legends the senate (a power paying for their life) officially and legally renamed Republic into Empire and clones were glad for still having a purpose in life. The war ended (thus their usefulness), but they were still needed - still wanted - instead of being put down or closed at Kamino or whatever. I can see why the uncertainty of the future made clones cheering up for the Empire. And frankly, I personally prefer them not caring for the political change (because why should they? It never was their job to *judge* the rightness of their superiors) instead of being “programmed” like some droids and playing the role of fodder to kill for the “good guys”.

Dunno, if I explained properly my issue with inhibitor chips, it just feels to me as not really convincing and a too risky concept in the bigger picture of the things and the fact that Jedi just like that ignored this suspicion matter of Tup and Fives and biochips doesn’t help either. Like I said, I understand why the chips were introduced to the story, as the excuse in the change of clone troopers’ behaviour but at the end of day, Legends worldbuilding will always make more sense to me. I don’t need overly done differentiation of clones to care for them as an individual human beings (and it kinda seems to me like that, clones suddenly became fan favorite when every looks or act differently but not when the AotC literally presented them as an army created to blindly obey Jedi/Republic) and I don’t blame them for sticking with Empire because what better option they had, considering their upbringing and the pathological system in which they lived all their life?

Dunno, I’m biased and may just have allergy to TCW in general.

As for Omega, I’m not really surprised about this concern, especially after seeing TBB’s version of padawan Kanan (that if not for A) some basic knowledge about his backstory and B) Depa Billaba calling him by name, I would probably never have figured out who he was supposed to be). But for Omega alone, I don’t mind her look, because I’m used to Legends!Jango’s biological family in which his mother and sister were both blond haired women and frankly, some “defective” clones (including Rex?) apparently could be blond too, so it seems like Jango’s genome has a recessive gene somewhere for that color of hair. I try to hold my judgment about Omega and her appearance until the full backstory will be revealed because there is still a chance that Fett’s DNA was mixed with someone else's (still I hope Omega is not force sensitive…). I mean, Hunter has heightened senses while Wrecker has almost supernatural strength and both traits seem to be not really human, so who knows what Kaminoans really did with them.

 I understand people’s emotional response to Disney’s approach to characters and their visual look, especially since it isn’t the first screw up in New Canon (the models for characters in general and New Mandalorians especially). I’m totally okay with people’s criticism of that matter and demanding from Disney more diversity and respecting the already established ethnicity of certain groups. I’m aware I may not be sensitive enough to that matter as some other people (even more with barely watching TV shows to have any current and up-to-date comparison to trends in cartoons) and I’m pretty sure more qualified / invested fans already wrote or will be writing soon great metas about that. But the thing that irks me is hearing people saying that Omega *can’t* be Jango’s clone - I don’t like this sort of exclusion based on someone’s look alone. She may not look like Fett or other (male) clones but it is not something Omega chose for herself and does not erase her connection to the rest of the Bad Batch. Being angry at Disney/creators for her look is a different matter I don’t have any problem with.

[nordleuchten]

La Fayette in Prison - Part 1 - Wesel

Wesel was the first prison that La Fayette was incarcerated in for an extended period of time. Wesel was, and still is today, a well known city in Germany (back than in Prussia) near the river Rhein. The fortress of Wesel housed the prison, the Zitadelle, and has been turned into a museum and can be visited. The achieve of the city is also housed within the former fortress. The Homepage of the museum cites La Fayette as one of the most famous inmates.

There are different account of how La Fayette and his fellow inmates were brought to Wesel. Some sources claim they drove in a carriage, but most state that they drove in an open cart “like common criminals”. This second method would be a huge affront because the social hierarchy of the day also applied to the system of jurisdiction. A farmer or labourer would be treated way different than a Marquis or Officer. Nevertheless, the cart as a mode of transportation can not be ruled out or said to be an exaggeration by some biographers because we know that the prisoners were transported from Wesel to their second prison in Magdeburg in a open cart – something that actually was greatly appreciated by the prisoners because they had previously been confined to their small and stuffy cells day in and day out. The group persumably also travelled by boat down the river Rhein in order to reach Wesel.

La Fayette, when he fled, was accompanied by a servant, Augustus, and a valet, Pontennier. One of these men appear to have stayed with him for the entire duration of his imprisonment whereas the other man left him after some time or better, was forced to left him. Many sources use the words “servant” and “valet” interchangeable, what makes it hard to say which one stayed and which one left. It seems though, as if Augustus was the one who remained with La Fayette.

Once the group of prisoners arrived in Wesel, La Fayette himself described their circumstances as follows:

“For three months the prisoners were strictly guarded and watched at Wezel, in prisons strongly barred , with double doors secured by locks and padlocks, cut off from all communication, and so completely separated from each other, that when Latour Maubourg, informed, through the indiscretion of one of his gaolers, that Lafayette was seriously ill, asked permission, as the dearest friend which that person had in the world, and one so nearly within reach of him, to receive his last sigh, the answer was, “that it could not be allowed.” The prisoners having complained of being thus cut off from all communication, even with their nearest relatives, a report to that effect was made to the government. Shortly after, the commandant and a notary presented themselves to Lafayette, and gave him a paper from the King of Prussia, inviting him, as the means of bettering his position, to give counsels against France. “The King of Prussia is very impertinent, ” was Lafayette's reply. Availing himself of a permission accorded to them of writing to the king's adjutant - general, Lafayette informed him “that he was far from denying the share he had taken in the revolutions of America and France; “and, speaking of the constitution which had been acknowledged by the powers now combined against it, he predicted, “that this hatred against liberty, with royalty or without it, would only serve to swell the number of republicans .”

There are other accounts from the time at Wesel but since we have La Fayette’s primary account, I will use the other accounts from later biographers only to supplement some details.

A few things to La Fayette’s account though. La Fayette refers to him being very ill – illness would go on to be a reoccurring theme, not only for La Fayette but also later for his family and the other prisoners. There was a want of fresh air, exercise, psychological comfort, items for personal hygiene and the food was apparently also bad. He recovered eventually but his health remained somewhat frail long after he was finally released from prison. Furthermore there is this line where La Fayette describes how he had "the means of bettering his position". He does not elaborate too much on this subject but what happened was that the Prussian King acknowledged that his treatment of La Fayette was not good nor according of his status. He offered La Fayette, until recently a French General with a field command, to treat him better if he would only pass the plans of the French armies (and everything else that he would happen to know) on to the Prussian authorities. La Fayette refused most emphatically.

What also strikes me, is just how scarred the Prussians were, that La Fayette (or any of the other prisoners for that matter) might escape. During his tribunal in Luxemburg, shortly after his arrest and prior to his confinement in Wesel, it was stated that "(...) Lafayette's existence was incompatible with the safety of the governments of Europe". The Prussians and Austrians seem to have been generally afraid of his possible influence.

The Governor of the prison in Wesel was in 1792 Lieutenant-General Alexander Friedrich von Woldeck, a high-ranking Prussian officer. The guards in the prison had the strict instruction not to communicate with the prisoners under any circumstance and to not answer them any of the question they might have.

So, now La Fayette and the others were all secured and under lock and key in Prussia. Splendid. But what to do with them in the future. Here is an account from Samuel Lorenz Kanpp’s book Memoirs of General Lafayette: Embracing Details of his Public and Private Life:

"At Wesel, the populace were permitted to insult them in the most savage manner. Here they were put in irons, placed in separate cells in the castle, deprived of all intercourse with each other, and told that the King intended to have them hanged as wretches who deserved no favour.”

Before we move on to the part were La Fayette should be hanged, let me say a few words about him being put in irons. Being put in irons was, as we all surely can imagine, a horrible, dehumanizing and cruel practice. We know that La Fayette was during some parts of his imprisonment held in irons, particularly during his time in Olmütz. He himself never mentions being held in irons in Wesel but it could very well have happened without him mentioning it.

Even if the Prussian King and the Austrian Emperor would have loved to see La Fayette hang (and I do not doubt that, the Duke of Saxe Tschen also threatened to execute La Fayette via hanging), that was never really a political option for them. Instead they ultimately planned to return La Fayette to the French King after the Revolution had ended. Here is what William Short, the American Minister Resident to the Netherlands, wrote to Thomas Jefferson on September 28, 1792:

“The Marquis de la fayette and his three companions who were members of the assembly, remain in the Chateau de Wesel. I cannot doubt from what the Imperial Minister here has told me that it is the intention, should the [French] King be restored, to deliver them up to him. Whether they would do it to his successor I cannot say, but suppose it infinitely probable if he should be one of his brothers. Nobody can question in that case that it would be adding to the violation of the most sacred right (which has been already committed with respect to these prisoners) the infamy of delivering up to be assassinated by his enemies an helpless individual, in the person of the Marquis de la fayette. (...) I have in private and inofficial conversations with the Imperial minister here endeavoured to find out what degree of importance his court attached to the Marquis’s imprisonment and it has been by no means encouraging for his friends—as he said it depended altogether (as far as he in his private capacity could judge) on the importance which the King of France could be supposed to attach to having the Marquis in his possession when restored to his throne. He told me however he would write to Vienna and procure more precise information which he would communicate to me. There was of course nothing official either on one side or the other.”

Now, what is so special about this letter? This letter illustrate three things. First, the diplomatic endeavours of the Prussian and Austrian court. Second, the actions undertaken by the American ambassadors and consuls in Europe in order to help La Fayette and his family. Last but nor least, the letter illustrate that the Americans where aware of La Fayette’s present whereabouts. As time went by and La Fayette was brought from one prison to the next, his friends often lost track of him for some time. They did not know where he was and even if he was still alive or if he had died in prison or even had been executed.

Such was La Fayette's stay in Wesel. He stayed there for a relatively short time, arriving on September 19, 1792 and being transferred to Magdeburg on December 22, 1792. But before we go further into detail concerning his time in Magdeburg, one last general thing. La Fayette and his fellow officers were captured by Austrian forces. Why then was he first imprisoned by the Prussians? Prussia and Austria were in the past constantly at each others throats. They hated each other – but during the French Revolution Prussia and Austria started working together against a common enemy. The Austrians captured La Fayette but the nearest and best guarded prison was the Prussian fortress in Wesel and with that the court in Vienna handed La Fayette over to the Prussians and the Prussians agreed to take him in.

[dadsbongos]

Alright, so, I'm well aware that the antag series revolves around her and Hajime, but I kinda wanna know more about her relationship with Nagito, Mikan, and Kazuichi during the tragedy and after the neo world program

I'm really hooked to this series, but can you blame me lmao-

i can’t blame you nonny, antag reader series is literally all i think about anymore, literal brain rot. this is basically just like?? a character analysis essay type thing? i’m so sorry it’s so long, i just got soooo into it

Request for: antag reader (Mikan Tsumiki, Kazuichi Souda, Nagito Komaeda) Warnings: despair things, face swap mention, spoilers, manipulation and bad friending :( ~~~

Mikan Tsumiki (and like a pinch of Junko Enoshima):

The Tragedy: So basically the whole thing with (Y/n) is that her parents were just so overcritical to the point where it rooted her complex and felt like they never loved her, right? So basically, Junko was able to attack that by showing her the bare minimum affection and introducing Mikan into the mix, who was in a similar boat with being unloved. Junko made them both feel as though she was the best love they could ever have and then made them compete for it at any opportunity she could.

Mikan always loved Junko but she doesn’t love (Y/n) the same way and vice versa, despite that, they do both care for each other very deeply. They desire no relationship in each other and even view each other as rivals who happen to find somewhat of a friendship together. Mikan thinks, and always has, that (Y/n) is much more talented and worthy of Junko than she is. However, (Y/n), being deeply insecure far below the surface - never stopped thinking that Mikan was more beautiful and worthy of Junko than she was.

They find both comfort and hatred in each other due to Junko making them act as competition. They both know the pain of Junko’s rejection but they also both know that if the other was out of the way, they could have Junko all to themselves.

When (Y/n) found out Mikan took Junko’s womb, it was a betrayal due to the fact that she didn’t know beforehand, Mikan had never said anything about taking Junko’s uterus. And on top of that, she found out that Mikan had tried conceiving a despair child during their separation. Even though neither of them loves each other, they know their relationship can be viewed as lovers - they often view it as such themselves - and so, (Y/n) felt as though Mikan had cheated on her. She basically had. Even so, she still knows that nothing could make her hate Mikan, she doesn’t love her as she did Junko, but she loves her more than any other woman she’d ever known. Mikan is the only grounding she’s ever known and the only person to ever relate to her on such an intimate level.

Going back to the feeling of Mikan being prettier than her, (Y/n) stole Junko’s face entirely because of that feeling of inferiority. She never told Mikan because she was ashamed to admit that she was insecure, it would make her imperfect to be insecure.

Overall, she’s never loved Mikan as a girlfriend but they’ve always been all the other had during The Tragedy despite their ‘rivalry’ and insecurities surrounding the other.

After Neoworld: (Y/n) is definitely nervous to be around Mikan because of their history with each other and Junko. Before Mikan wakes up from the program she’s constantly worried about if the nurse will hate her or be disgusted by her. The way Mikan had treated her right before her execution hinted at some tenderness buried beneath discontent, but that could always change. When Mikan wakes up she immediately looks for (Y/n) on pure instinct.

They definitely try to help each other heal and cope with Junko’s manipulation and lies. They both have come to realize that Junko never loved either of them and they didn’t love each other - any of the comforts they had gathered in The Tragedy was a lie and they help each other through that realization.

“You’re more than what she made you.” is a common phrase between them because they know she only made them compete for her own entertainment and their despair.

It was cruel and they have to live with every emotional and physical scar from that time. But they still have each other.

Any sense of rivalry has dripped away from their bond and is now wholly intertwined by genuine friendship and connection. By their experiences and how they’re growing away from Junko and into themselves. Eventually, all their conversations stop being about Junko and healing and start being about a pretty shell Mikan found on the beach. Or how the water looks so inviting, they should go for a swim.

Or how the chairs need repainting.

Or how some flowers outside the front door would be lovely.

Or how good breakfast was this morning.

Kazuichi Souda:

The Tragedy: Kazuichi wasn’t as “enamored” with (Y/n) as he was Sonia, but he respected her Ultimate and higher intelligence enough to also refer to her as ‘miss’ when they went to school. Though he largely stopped calling her ‘Miss (Y/n)’ during The Tragedy he still respects her a lot and is even a little scared of her sometimes. Again, she’s way smarter than he is - she’s not a super genius like Izuru but she’s a smart cookie and he’s not so delusional to think he’s near her in intellect. So the fact she can copy his Ultimate status and be smarter than most people in their class is quite intimidating for him at times.

Because of the confidence she projects and her charisma and, again, higher intelligence than his, he often follows her word and example without much thought. Like if he saw her jump off a cliff, he would probably go along with it because he knows she probably has some plan to get out of the situation safely.

(Y/n) views Kazuichi sort of as a little brother - but one that follows you around like a puppy and always bugs you. She doesn’t expect much other than blind support from him and kind of accepts that he’s her “sidekick” so to speak. They didn’t view each other as equals or even true comrades - (Y/n) was always just better and that went unquestioned. She definitely used him to gain without putting much thought into the long-term of their relationship.

After Neoworld: Kazuichi had regained his memories in chunks as they left the program and at least could recall being so-called friends with (Y/n). When they awoke, they didn’t talk to each other that often since Kazuichi was extremely bitter about how she’d treated them all in the program (and him as a Remnant) and so she was left alone with Hajime.

It’s only as she actually begins healing and expressing more humane traits that he starts talking to her again. Neither apologizes for anything specific, they just aren’t those kinds of people and both parties can let it go easy enough - they’d both done horrific things and they know that. He invites her into his warehouse to take apart the Monokumas, he offers to go on walks along the beach with her - he finds it nice to be in her presence again.

Because even after what they’d been through, I feel like he does still deeply respect her due to her talent. He just also has gained more confidence in himself while in the program and therefore has more sense to not let her control his actions. Which, he finds that she hasn’t tried doing and that always encourages him to keep coming back.

Kazuichi thrives on positive feedback and (Y/n) knows this, so every time she can she’s expressing how much he means to her as a dear companion - both of them being hesitant to actually label themselves friends. Especially Kazuichi, who had already been hit by poor friendship and trust issues, remembering that (Y/n) used him during The Tragedy makes his brain go fuzzy on how he feels about her. Sometimes he’s angry and other times he forgives her wholeheartedly because he knows she’s sick and he wants her to be able to maintain the friendships that he’s able to.

I think it’s after she apologizes to everyone, pre-Nagito waking up but post Gundham and Nekomaru, that he really just lets go of everything.

It’s not easy to forget that he was just her tool but he knows that she’s better now and they start hanging out more often, by themselves, having a good ol’ time talking about absolute nonsense.

Respect turns into admiration.

Nagito Komaeda:

The Tragedy: So I’d already mentioned that (Y/n) influenced him into becoming Servant, but I wanna expand on that before digging into anything else. At heart, Nagito is a people pleaser to the Ultimates, and none more than the copycat who can master pretty much anything she wants. During their school years, she didn’t see anyone as her equal and that resonated with Nagito’s inferiority complex and while she hates people who have no confidence, she would hate to be like everyone else more. So she kinda just accepted the servitude that came with befriending Nagito on the first day of school up until The Tragedy where he practically begged her to take him with her wherever she went.

She was the first one to really hold onto his chain, both literally and metaphorically. He joined the Ultimate Despair with Junko to create a despair to overcome, but only (Y/n) was allowed to actually touch him - or else he started throwing a huge fit. 

In order to spread despair and crush Nagito’s everlasting obsession with hope, she probably intentionally ignores and neglects him when he needs her.

This largely means when he’s mourning/remembering his parents and dog or his illnesses or when he’s falling into despair and needs her to pull him out, she’s just watching and doing nothing.

In fact, when Nagito had brought up his plans to join the Warriors of Hope he was really hoping she’d speak against it, and she didn’t. She actually encouraged it. Pushing him to leave her alone and join the WOH. It hurt, of course, it would, but he left all the same and they hadn’t spoken since despite their ‘friendship’. (Y/n) never bothered going after him, again to crush his love of hope. 

She left him unhinged, alone, sick to fend for himself until he found the WOH, and even when he found them - she didn’t seem to care whether they let him live or killed him.

After Neoworld: Honestly? To say that she mourns Nagito, and her entire relationship with Nagito, is a huge fucking understatement. Especially as the others begin waking up and Hajime helps her grow, she just gets more and more depressed over her situation with Nagito. And as he takes longer and longer to wake up, she begins to accept that she was horrible to him and doesn’t deserve his forgiveness.

Before The Tragedy even, since they’d met. She always treated him with as little human respect as she could - she did it with everyone but especially him. He was basically just a little errand boy she liked to talk to and she didn’t treat him as more. During their time in despair, she was barely around for him, only holding him together when the others pushed her to do it because he was being annoying. She was so awful to the man she always claimed was her closest friend. And she wants him to hate her for it so bad.

Then he wakes up and he sees her and he smiles. He could never hate her and it only makes her feel worse.

Nagito sees how much she’s changed and he begins changing too, she tells him about how Hajime has helped her so much and he begins to follow her around with Hajime. She’s worried he’ll consider himself her lapdog again but it’s cleared up when he doesn’t run to her side one morning out of the few left before they leave.

In fact, it’s when he doesn’t speak to her for hours on end she realizes that every interaction they had was under his free will and choice. 

He doesn’t do her chores for her. She doesn’t watch him fall apart silently. They talk like friends do. Not about how talentless people are worthless or how hope is all that matters but about how they can’t wait to rebuild their favorite hangout spots and make better memories there together.

They sort of have an unannounced “restart” where they just wipe the slate clean, mostly on (Y/n)’s part so she can treat Nagito how he deserves. As a true friend rather than a pawn.

[dabi-drift]

Yaoyorozu, Bakugou, Compress x S/O {Valentine’s Scenarios} - Incomplete

If you want any characters adding here or to anything else I write, just drop me a comment or an ask!

Momo Yaoyorozu:

♡ La douleur exquise: the exquisite pain, unrequited love…

♡ This was perhaps the most appropriate summary of your emotions. You loved this girl, this sweet, gorgeous young woman, with all your heart, all your essence. But would she ever return that love? You watched her interactions with Todoroki and Jirou…it was more likely that she'd develop feelings for one of them.

♡ What was the point in all this pining? Not that you could help it, of course. You would've given anything to break free from the stifling jealousy, the borderline worship.

♡ It wasn’t obvious. You were the type so often described as a 'Kuudere'; your face very, very rarely betrayed your heart. But Momo…she made heat rise to your cheeks and butterflies flutter in your stomach.

♡ She was breath-taking, indescribable…incomparable.

♡ You noticed the way she captured everyone's attention, how she did it so innocently…you couldn’t help falling for her.

♡ You didn’t think she'd ever accept your advances, so you stayed at a distance. You became friends, but refused to take it further. You wouldn’t even try. You weren't willing to lose her.

♡ So when Valentine's came, you were extremely ill-prepared. Ashido asked if you were giving chocolate to anyone, and with your usual stoicism, you said no. For a split second, she seemed disappointed. Was the idea of love really that tempting to her? You would never understand that girl. Love wasn’t always something to flaunt. It hurt. A lot.

♡ Now, you weren't going to lie - you had briefly considered making Momo some chocolate with your sub-par skills, but that'd be too desperate…right? You could've waved it off as friendly, but if she was the only one to receive it, would she truly believe that?

♡ You sighed, busying yourself with school and listening to the mindless chatter of your classmates. Lunchtime approached, and you decided to sit alone. On the roof, of course (when is the roof ever not mentioned). You had to admit, all the happy couples sent you a slight wave of nausea.

♡ You were just wondering, ‘Why couldn’t you and Momo be like that? Why did love have to be so complicated?’

♡ Well, at least your food was there for you. As you began to eat, the last thing you expected was a polite little knock at the door. This was the rooftop - unexplored territory to the average student - no-one needed to be so gentle. You didn’t respond, thinking it'd been either the wind or your imagination.

♡ The door opened.

♡ It was Momo, all worn-out and blushy.

♡ Your heart rate picked up, and all potential words died on your tongue. Why did she hold such power over you? And why, why was she so damn cute?

♡ You wanted to turn her away, but a strange determination was burning in her eyes. In her hand lay a small box, complete with a ribbon and label.

♡ She moved toward you slowly, legs shaking. She presented the box to you.

♡ "I-I made these for you! Please accept them!"

♡ Although it floored you, how could you possibly refuse her?

Atsuhiro Sako/Mr Compress:

♡ His dramatic flair will certainly bleed through to this special day.

♡ This man 100% sat down and learned as many expressions of love (in different languages) as humanly possible; the more poetic the better. Obviously, he uses them at every opportunity, but on a day such as this…it was bound to be more heartfelt (I mean extra).

♡ He was forever going over-the-top, no matter whether it was your birthday, Valentine's, Christmas or anything in-between. He didn’t care for the tradition of men waiting until White Day to return gifts - he wanted you to experience the most amazing day, feel all the love he poured into you. He actually went to the trouble of purchasing (not stealing?? Man's dropped being a villain to officially become your biggest simp) everything he gave.

♡ Let's face it, the lure of thievery was strong, but his devotion to you was far, far stronger.

♡ You'd never professed to be a hero, but…you weren't a villain, either. You appreciated honesty and decency. Y'know, normal stuff - core values that villains were often shown to be lacking. So for Atsuhiro to break from his criminal tendencies, even for a moment…it meant that you were respected, cherished beyond belief.

♡ He hoped to prove as much, with each new dawn.

♡ But today, society had provided a legitimate excuse for Atsuhiro to flaunt his love. He'd organised the entire day, ensuring radio silence on the League's part. His plans wouldn’t be ruined by other obligations. Your importance surpassed theirs, tenfold. He couldn’t (nor did he ever wish to) fathom a world without your radiance.

♡ You were everything he never thought he'd find.

♡ This man will absolutely take you for a fancy dinner (PLF funded, of course), ending the night with a kiss beneath the twinkling stars - the ones he can't help but compare you to. In truth, the thousands upon thousands visible amid the partial cloud-cover, paled when judged against you.

♡ How did he ever win over such an otherworldly beauty?

♡ That thought was reoccurring. But it didn’t matter. It never would.

♡ "Tu sei un dono del cielo, e tu sei tutto quella che voglio."   *You are a gift from Heaven, and you are everything I want.

♡ "Voglio passare la mia vita con te."    *I want to spend my life with you.

♡ Get used to these more intimate phrases he's sprinkling into conversation. He might slip up a few times, but you'll never realise. And what does it really matter? The sentiment speaks with far greater clarity.

♡ He's a romantic at heart.

Katsuki Bakugou:

♡ Oh, your heart yearned for Bakugou's love. You couldn’t really understand it, given his attitude and that apparent God Complex. Unfortunately though, your rationale was side-lined in favour of this pursuit.

♡ Valentine's seemed like the perfect time to expose your feelings, but you just didn’t know what to do! While you stared at him a lot, you didn’t hang around the Bakusquad, and you couldn’t recall ever hearing him confess to liking something.

♡ That's where Midoriya came in. He was the ultimate treasury of information about the explosion boy. You just knew he'd have the answers. You spoke for a while in the dormitory's common room, Midoriya's notebooks spread across the table. By nightfall, you'd acquired knowledge of practically every inch of Bakugou's life. You wondered for a moment if that was a breach of privacy, but…oops?

♡ You settled on Mountain Climbing gear - Mountain Climbing, as Midoriya explained, was a favourite activity of Bakugou's. He gave you measurements, just in case you bought any clothes (how the hell did even know them), and walked you through the things Bakugou definitely wouldn’t turn down.

♡ It was gonna be a bit costly - good thing this boy was so intoxicating. 

♡ It sort of felt like trying to buy his affections, but even if he issued a fierce rejection, you'd still insist he take all the stuff. You didn’t hike, so what use would it be to you?

♡ You were determined to show your love, to prove you'd be his perfect match, far worthier than anyone else!

♡ When you'd collected everything (and thrown in a few spicy chocolate treats), you wrapped it up and steeled your nerves. The day of reckoning was fast approaching, like a herald of ruin. This could make-or-break your heart.

♡ Midoriya gave you lots of encouragement, but every time you saw Bakugou in the interlude, your smile faltered. What if he really did reject you? What if he hated you?

♡ Bakugou being Bakugou, he received letters and confessions of love on a daily basis. He never reciprocated, and he always complained - they were too desperate, too annoying, too…anything! He just seemed to hate love - the very concept! It was disheartening.

♡ But you wouldn’t give up.

♡ You wanted this boy, more than life itself. You wanted to be the one he held dear, the one he protected and grew jealous over.

♡ It was a fluffy fantasy. But hopefully, hopefully, reality would prove sweeter.

♡ The morning of Valentine's descended, and you caught him just before school. He would've walked with Kirishima, but said boy dismissed himself with a smile. He'd been clued in, you supposed.

♡ Bakugou tried his usual 'What the fuck do you want? How dare you address me directly, you piece of shit idiot', but you weren't letting him. He hadn't even realised the date, but when his gaze drifted to the items in your hand, he froze.

♡ You were in the middle of "IgotyouthisandIhopeyou'llbemyvalentinebutIreallydon'tknowit'sfinetorejectmeIjustwantedyoutoknow-".

♡ You saw the blush climbing his neck. You saw it settle on his cheeks. You heard him stutter, for the very first time. He was struggling under his contradictory thoughts of: My long-time crush actually feels the same way! And, I have a fucking reputation!

♡ You took pity on him, swallowing down all your nerves and stepping forward.

♡ You kissed him.

[hornsandthings]

Umm hi I don’t know if you still take ACOTAR requests anymore but if you do can I request an azriel x reader where he’s in love with her and is afraid of rejection but he doesn’t know that she loves him too? 👉🏻👈🏻

hi nonnie, i’ll always accept an acotar request, hehe! did this in headcanon form, hope you don’t mind <3 it’s quite long and a little rough around the edges, but i hope you like it! ps. tumblr mucked up the formatting, some dot points don’t want to be indented. i hope it still makes sense x 

when your and azriel’s paths crossed, it was the mother at work again. after mor, azriel didn’t think he’d ever have the strength for love again. the aching and the pining had taken their toll, and the appeal of the mating bond had faded. to feel it all again, to risk his heart like that again - he couldn’t. and yet, the mother saw fit that he would. 

+++

he first met you in the palace of hoof and leaf, and it didn’t mean anything at the time; a stranger’s kindness, or if he indulged his cynicism, a hawker’s ploy. you were a commoner, a milkmaid who came to sell your products in the markets. he’d been at the neighbouring stall, waiting for the clerk to put together the only tea brew in prythian that could placate his migraines.

“sir, mr. shadowsinger, sir,” you called, “could i offer you a sample of my goat’s milk? maggie-may is very special, her milk can be just as good as a healer’s work, i swear it. try it, try it, sir.” 

azriel looked you over, glad that cassian wasn’t here to make that particular moniker stick. one brow raised in dubiety, he nodded and held out his hand - might as well, he thought, tired and getting ever more desperate for his tea. this didn’t show outwardly, of course; azriel’s face was as neutral as ever, his shadows coiling about his talons. your gaze was expectant as he tried the sample, and while it was a little too earthy for his taste, he nodded all the same. perhaps it had encouraged you too much, because then you asked: “could i perhaps persuade you to buy a pint?”

azriel had no interest at all, yet he couldn’t help but notice the detail: your fraying sleeves, the imperfect glass bottles, the beginnings of dark circles under your eyes. and yet you were smiling, you were sweet, being very generous for someone who had to presumably make a living selling fresh products. not for the first time, azriel made a purchase that only someone of the inner circle could afford, and one that didn’t really benefit him. “i’ll take several,” he said, looking at the handful of wooden caddies, mostly still filled with milk bottles. “i’ll take it all.” 

the clerk then handed azriel his brew while you stood there, wide-eyed and speechless, working through a range of emotions. at first you thought he was mocking you, but when he turned around again, fiddling with his coin pouch, you realised he was serious. “but, sir— maggie-may’s milk sure is delicious, but only in moderation— i couldn’t expect someone to buy it all—”

“as much as you’d let me, then,” he amended, being mindful not to impose or patronise. you bit your lip, trying to tally up the ultimate price, trying to gauge whether this man could even afford it. two gold, you said, trying your luck. azriel merely fingered his coins, placing the expected two and an additional three on the counter. he must’ve noticed your shock; you had frozen, after all, perhaps even stopped breathing. “since maggie-may is so special,” he drawled, earning a disbelieving laugh from you. 

that night, cerridwen, nuala, and elain were very confused at the sight of bottles and bottles of milk laying in wait on the kitchen counter in the house of wind. the note - clearly by azriel’s neat hand - read: use within five days.

+++

from then on, you always engaged azriel when you spotted him in the market. you could never forget his generous first purchase, and so while he waited for the tea master to finalise his special brew, you would entertain him with an endless supply of free samples of new products. over the years, azriel saw your business extend from milk to also include cheese and soap. he learned unnecessary things about your cattle, such as the supposed social dynamics and - mother forbid - adultery that mr. sweet pea the goat seemed prone to. over time, azriel grew comfortable enough to share some of his stories and observations, the things he’s seen in other courts. it took a while to realise you had become more than his mere acquaintance, and perhaps it was because you were outside his usual spheres of the inner circle and his spy network. to have someone outside was new, and a little jarring at times. the different experiences, the contrasting perspectives - it was refreshing, and reminded azriel how far he’d come since his miserable youth. when he was with you, the stakes weren’t so high, the conditions not so dire. you were a spot of calm, a reminder that life could be something other than the court’s defense. 

+++

one time when he visited - his tea no longer a requisite for him to make an effort to come in - you were noticeably subdued. “mr. sweet pea passed away,” you revealed, eyes wet and voice thick. something about that seized his heart, his shadows growing restless. “he was so special.” you actually said that about each of your cattle, something that azriel had started to find endearing, because he knew you really believed it.

social tact was not a strength of his - azriel knew he tended to be rigid and too formal - so he stumbled over some stilted condolences. it felt awkward and impersonal; azriel couldn’t empathise with the death of a pet, but he wanted to make it hurt less. he still remembered what the late goat had looked like the last time you had brought him in - an old thing, with a long beard and a mix of brown and black fur. strong, impressive horns, one which had a sizeable chip missing. 

so that night, he did what he could and sketched that image he had in his mind, of mr. sweet pea looking very wise and ponderous, if a little tired. azriel’s time as spymaster had bestowed him a keen eye and dexterous fingers, allowing him to make the necessary sketches to give his colleagues a clearer picture when necessary - of maps, of creatures, of profiles. they tended to be a little rough and raw, nothing particularly artistic. he thought the same of his current piece, and hesitated over whether it was good enough.

when he finally gave you the sketch the next day, you went very still. he started stumbling over some excuses, but you soon interrupted him with a shaky breath. “this is so thoughtful, azriel. thank you so much.” 

+++

azriel grew bolder, and interactions started to occur outside the markets. he’d invite you for tea, indirectly revealing one of his interests. he was a hard man to read, his expressions subtle when not stoic, but you learned. outside of professional matters, he was rarely straightforward, and tended to express his emotions in delicate, layered ways. his care for you was in the way he listened, how his attention never wavered when you were speaking with him. it was how he kept you close when you two navigated busy streets, how he lifted a wing over your head for cover when it rained, how he was content to spend time with you at your stall - sometimes for hours - despite his preference for quietude. 

+++

when work took him away, you two would exchange letters. azriel didn’t realise how dangerous a thing it was, because you quickly became a very intimate and constant part of his life. the act of writing tricked him, making it easier to truly express his thoughts - there was no pressure of navigating the immediate reaction, no incentive to keep his words short. you managed to draw so much out of him. he was mindful of each letter of yours he received, keeping them safe and tied together with an old ribbon of yours he’d saved before you could throw it away. he would never admit it, but work abroad tended to be overwhelming: while secure in his network’s quality of intelligence, being in another’s territory always meant having to deal with various variables and vulnerabilities, usually unknown. maybe your letters would have made it all a little more manageable if they didn’t elicit such longing within him. your words made him smile, yes, but they also made his heart ache. he missed you.

+++

after a lengthy assignment in the dawn court, azriel was relieved to be back in velaris. his shadows swirled and whispered around his shoulders, eager to feel your presence too. he knew they fascinated you, how playful they could be sometimes. yet, azriel couldn’t find you at your empty market stall. it was odd - you hadn’t mentioned moving in your recent letters, and he couldn’t find you in any of the other market squares either. soon his shadows grew restless, embodying the concern that was rising.

he employed his spy network to find your farm, hoping it wouldn’t be too intrusive to just show up unannounced. you had mentioned some details in passing before - it was a modest place, with a small house and a meagre hill of grass to feed a handful of goats and sheep. the door was answered by two worried faces, who took one look at azriel and grew even more distressed. “our son— it’s not our son, is it? it can’t be— he just—”

“i’m here to see your daughter,” azriel interrupted, too preoccupied to remember polite niceties. they were confused, guarded, but let him through. the hallways were narrow, his wings often knocking against the wall sconces. he listened as they explained your condition - an illness had befallen you, leaving you bedridden for days. apparently a healer had told them it’ll pass with rest and water, and with that reassurance, azriel forced himself to remember his place. right in front of your closed door, he willed his shadows away from his face, called upon his familiar impassiveness. turning around to face your parents, he amended, “may i see your daughter?” 

your room was dark, the curtains drawn. his heart raced as he heard your laboured breaths, and something pulled at him when he saw the small desk in the corner, an unfinished letter atop it. “azriel?” you whispered, voice sounding so small. “is it really you?” 

he neared, taking a cautious seat on the side of the bed. you were shivering, but the thin sheet covering you stuck to your skin with sweat. “yes, it’s me, sweetheart,” he said, the endearment slipping out before he could stop it. his throat closed up immediately after, but your vague movements suggested you didn’t even realise, and that you weren’t all there. he could see the feverish blush high on your cheeks, even in the dim light.

“you’re too big for this room,” you mused softly, making azriel smile despite his worry. indeed, he had to bend down to avoid hitting his head, and keep his wings tucked in uncomfortably tight. he took your hand in his, and even in your feverish haze, you could register the roughness of his scarred hands, but they always handled you gently. “why didn’t you tell me in your letters?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. your discomfort was clear in your frown, in your downturned lips. noticing the basin on the bedside table, he took the damp rag on your forehead and dipped it into the cool water, wringing away the excess before gently placing it atop your head again. 

“i… didn’t want to trouble you with… with something trivial. a few more days and… and i’ll be back to work.” a weak smile pulled at your mouth, and azriel gathered both of your hands in his again. he shook his head at your line of thinking.

“your health isn’t a trivial matter to me,” he said, leaning close and cupping your cheek. in hindsight, it was so obvious that he had been in love with you far longer than he thought. it was all so rueful, the fact that he had let it happen again. despite it all, he pressed a kiss to your hand, trying to ignore how it trembled. your smile strengthened then, tracing a finger over his brow and down the bridge of his nose. azriel took a deep breath to savour the touch, and soon you two were merely watching each other, azriel wondering what thoughts were running through your slightly added mind. your lids eventually started to droop, however, but still he stayed even when you fell asleep, taking care to change the cool rag when necessary. his shoulders slumped when his head fell into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut tight. with such a revelation, what was he to do from now on? 

+++

azriel didn’t think he could be a good lover to you - even if he so very much wanted to be. his job took up so much of time, and it required him to be secretive. azriel wouldn’t ever be able to share everything with you, for the sake of keeping you safe. even if he could, there was just something in his nature that kept him reserved and pushed others away. there were so many things he’d rather leave in the past, and so many more that he wished he hadn’t been part of. there was that, but also his loathsome scarred hands - a reminder of those darker days. no matter how gentle, his touch would always scratch and scrape. once you took notice of how neglected they were, left to dry out and sometimes even scab, you took to work to concoct a nourishing lotion. “you have to be gentle with yourself, azriel,” you had once told him, gently applying the salve to his hands. they were rough but warm against your skin. “you do so much.”

+++

and so, everything he did with you was tinged with a hint of sorrow. he couldn’t bring himself to confront you with the severity of his feelings, but he also couldn’t quite remove you from his life - you had become a friend. you eventually noticed that he started to let his touches linger: when he hugged you, he’d curl arms and wings around you, enveloping you wholly; when you were near, his shadows would stretch toward you, as if revealing a hidden desire. when you reached for his hand, he would always grip it firmly, and when you came very close for some unimportant reason, his gaze would always linger on your face, flicking so often to your lips. 

+++

one night you had invited him over to the farm, wanting to introduce him to the latest addition of your household: a baby goat, just over a week old. she was as white as snow, and kept nibbling at your hair as you held her in your arms. “what should we name her, azriel?” you had asked, too preoccupied to notice how tense he was, hands in his pockets. “i was thinking of marjorie, or maybe miss marjorie… hey, what’s wrong?” his face was unusually expressive, his shadows roiling about his talons as if in distress. putting down the goat, her legs still clumsy and gangly, you stepped closer to azriel, reaching out. he shook his head, trying to school his face but you knew him by now. your shoulders slumped, recalling his strange behaviour over the years - he was present in most ways, but avoidant in others. “i wish you’d talk to me, azriel,” you murmured, taking his hand and hoping he wouldn’t mind the dirt. “you mean so much to me.”

it all bubbled up then in that small barn, the light dim and the smell of earth pungent. you let out a rueful laugh, rubbing your eye. “i’m in love with you,” you said, very quietly at first. immediately you felt so naive to be doing this. the fact was that azriel came from a different life, one that saw him as a leader of the court, who worked with powerful and beautiful people, fae who were richer and stronger and vastly more interesting. azriel’s mere presence in your life was extraordinary enough. and yet, you had found yourself falling in love despite the impracticability of it, found yourself admiring his kindness, his quiet generosity, his strength and resilience and dry humour. you shifted, looking right into his eyes. even if your love was unrequited, he deserved to be told - if only to let him know that he indeed was loved by one more.  “i’m in love with you. i don’t— i don’t expect you to say it in return, but i can no longer keep it to myself. i love you.” 

that threw azriel. he had fantasised of course, indulged in the scenario. but now, as you waited for his response, his thoughts stuttered. what? he wanted to say, unable to believe what he actually so very desperately wanted to believe. you grew nervous as the silence lengthened, azriel’s face as stoic as ever. you shook your head, covering your mouth in regret. “i’m sorry, i— i shouldn’t have said anything—”

he gripped your shoulders tight, gaze intense and voice low. “i also love you.”

“why do you say it like it’s a bad thing?” the solemnity which had tinged your relationship for some time was subtle, but you had felt it, and it had bothered you. 

azriel’s hands came up to cup your face, and he quickly shook his head. “it’s not,” he said, he urged. “it’s not, it’s not.” and then his lips met yours, chapped and rough, kissing you slowly, thoroughly, firmly. the conviction made your heart melt, and you gripped his wrists, feeling his racing pulse and caressing it, kissing him back, standing on your toes, letting him steal your breath. “i love you so much, sweetheart,” he sighed against your lips, nose brushing against yours. you went to reply but then azriel had claimed your mouth again, one hand snaking around to your back and the other to the nape of your neck. the light shifted behind your closed eyes as his wings came down to envelope the both of you, and your fingers reached to tangle in his hair, to trace the shells of his ears.

when you two parted again, his grin was lopsided and a little wry. “i just couldn’t believe it,” he murmured, his eyes shining with emotion. why not? you wanted to ask, wondering what it was that had held him back for so long, but decided to delay it for another day. all you could do was hug him tighter, just glad for the sight of his smile and the feeling of his relief. glad for his happiness.

[thecaptainhelm]

Shut Your Mouth Pt.2

hahaha, daminette part two, wasn’t a one shot, gn gn gn.

Marinette sighed as the shower warmed up, rolling her neck and relishing in the light feeling of accomplishment. Ever since Hawkmoth had been defeated, a mere two days ago, things had been tense. Hawkmoth, now known as Gabriel Agreste, was arrested along with his assistant Nathalie Sancoeur who had since retired as Mayura the year before. It was a stroke of luck to discover that the Guardian had the ability to forcibly renounce a broken Miraculous. Something Gabriel hadn’t known, granting them extra time as he futilely tried to ‘fix’ the brooch. While that happened, she managed to finally convince Chat to at least keep him as a suspect if not out of suspicion, then to actually strike him from their list. It didn’t take long rack up evidence against him, especially after learning from the Bats of Gotham. 

The battle was quiet, in the early hours of the morning, where the city forcibly cut the power to the Agreste mansion, and it only took one Venom for each while they slept defenselessly. It took only a few minutes to find evidence that he was at least working with Hawkmoth, and when they found the miraculous pin and brooch, it was confirmed that he was, indeed, Hawkmoth with Nathalie working as his henchwoman Mayura.

Soon, with what was probably the fastest trial of the century, Gabriel Agreste and Nathalie Sancoeur were declared guilty and sentenced to serve life in prison and an insane asylum respectively. It had only shocked her for a moment that Mayura pleaded guilty and asked to be sent directly to rehab for mental help, by reason of insanity wrought by grief. What did surprise her was that she was the one to take the miraculous and give them to the Agreste couple as an anniversary gift, ultimately setting off a chain of unforeseen consequences.

That was a whole other cake she didn’t want to bake just yet, so she decided to finally just take a moment to breathe for what felt like the first time in five years. 

So it was only normal that her smartwatch chimed on the hook of the shower caddy, a picture of a frowny eagle glaring right at her. She cursed her luck, yeah, no breaks was still her usual routine. It must be real hard for the universe to break out that particular habit.

Then she remembered that she set this particular picture and ringtone for the one person who had never called.

Robin, the vigilante that she might have, kind of, definitely made an enemy of.

Who was also her crush, so that was just. Great.

In her defense, she was a human being, and human beings were capable of amazing feats. It was just that her amazing feats were more amazing bouts of stupidity. Seriously, why did she do it? Just where did her common sense escape to make her think that was even a remotely good idea, because she wanted to go there and never come back.

She had kissed-- no! She made out with Robin, the most notoriously ill-tempered member of Batman’s team. The only reason he didn’t deck her in the face was because, because, well she didn’t know! Was it mercy, a misplaced feeling of pity, perhaps?

No, actually, it was more likely that he was frozen stiff with rage. Marinette couldn’t blame him, heck, she’d be angry too, suddenly getting passionately smooched in the middle of livid rant. 

She had planned on giving him her contact information for the longest time, since they'd come to the understanding that they only wanted to do what was best for everyone, the kind of understanding that only leaders could have. And to maybe get closer to him as much as professionalism allowed. So, it stood to reason that she had to go ahead and ruin that, too. She really couldn’t believe herself sometimes, who randomly kisses someone, hands them their number, and then trots off back to work? Marinette Dupain-Cheng apparently.

In fact, it was about time he called. She had pretty much an entire year to prepare herself for what was sure to be a concise and frigid rejection, maybe even a “Stay for away from, lest I stab everyone in this room and then jump out of a window out of utter disgust”? She might as well get it over with and then move on to be alone for the rest of her life.

She wiped the water out of her eyes and squinted at the text message, before jumping out the shower with a loud curse. She hurriedly dried off and put on her clothes, before heading to the Miracle Box, rereading his message.

Emergency evac, one person, requesting Pegasus’ portal twenty kilometers horizontally above sea level precisely fifteen minutes after this message. Coordinates attached.

The message was sent ten minutes ago. How long was she catastrophizing for?!

Max was partying along with the rest of Paris while she took a breather in her art studio. Even with the full fifteen minutes she wouldn’t be able to find him in time. Shit, would she even be able to transform in time?

She grabbed the glasses from the box and Kaalki appeared in a proud flash. 

“No time, there’s trouble,” she panted. “Ready?”

“Hmph, of course,” Kaalki tossed her head. “Let’s go, shall we?”

“Kaalki, transform me!” She eyed the time, two minutes left. She memorized the coordinates as she searched for a suitable place for him to land, and realized she was going to have to catch him in her storage closet.

One minute left. She opened the door and cleared space in the center of the room.

Thirty-five seconds. She stood on an old chair that she moved into the center of the room.

Twenty seconds, and she called, “Voyage!” and threw the portal up towards the ceiling.

Zero. She braced for impact and caught a body that plummeted through in a free fall.

“Ow,” she closed the portal with a groan, amidst the shattered pieces of what used to be a pretty sturdy chair.

“Don’t complain, it could have been worse.” A deep voice rasped.

Wow, to think she missed him, that asshole.

“Shut up, Robi-- oh my god your arm! Get up, getupgetupgetup!” She hauled him up as gently as possible, annoyance giving way to concern.

Robin was, putting it lightly, a mess. He had lost his mask, his eye was swollen shut and his face was bruised with cuts all over, and he was sticky with blood practically everywhere she looked. It was his arm that she was most concerned about, however. It was set in a splint, but he must have been in a rush because it was set wrong, his thumb facing perpendicular lyaway from his body.

“I am fine,” he sagged into her, weary. “I just need a place to stay for the night.”

“If you weren’t so grievously injured, I’d throw you out for that,” she remarked. “But guess what? It’s your lucky night monsieur, and I’m a trained field medic.” Robin looked at her, maskless, and she had to dart her eyes away from his maskless face.

“Oh, so Ladybug finally started replacing her subpar lineup? About time, either she benched them or Hawkmoth would kill them at some point. They were woefully incompent.” Yep, this was definitely Robin, no doubt about it with that attitude.

She called off the transformation and was somewhat pleased when he reflexively jerked his head away. She pulled him into a princess carry and made her way back to the bathroom, inwardly delighting at his reaction. She would never let him live this down.

“It’s me, Robin. Ladybug. Pegasus couldn’t make it, so you’ll have to do with me instead of a random stand-in.” She raised her brow, not that he could see it.

“Unless that bothers you, Boy Wonder?”

“...I’m not,” he mumbled.

“Hm?”

“I’m not Robin anymore.”

What. What.

“What?”

“I’ve retired, effective as of nine months ago today, Robin’s cape has been hung up for the next generation.”

Relief didn’t come yet. “Oh, so you’ve taken on a new mantle? Or are you finally the next Batman, though it would take some time to fill those shoulders. Literally, I mean that literally, um.” She observed his downcast expression and once again started walking to the bathroom. When had she stopped?

“I’m not taking over anything,” he said sullenly. “I can’t. Not after what I did.”

“Come on, it couldn’t have been so bad,” she opened the door with her heel as she backed them towards the stool by the sink. She set him down carefully, taking full stock of his injuries.

“It was. Batman’s cowl has always represented a strict moral code, one that I’ve always...struggled to adhere to.”

Marinette bit her lip as she kneeled in front of him. He didn’t say anymore, and she couldn’t think of anything to say. She sighed and brought out her med kit from the towel cabinet. She was always like this with him.

With Robin (now not Robin?) she had always drawn a blank. She could read his emotions somewhat well, had a good grasp on his moods, and could have genuinely insightful conversations with him. It was only at crucial moments like this that she struggled. Even with Adrien she had always known what she wanted to say, but Robin was different. Everything about him screamed “one chance only” and that caused her mind to go blank. It was so unbelievably frustrating that she could scream.

Marinette handed the glasses to Kaalki and nodded towards her purse hanging on the door handle. The kwami zoomed towards it and soon disappeared into it with the miraculous.

“Robin,” she called gently. He didn’t move. “I’ll have to cut your shirt off, okay? I need to see where the blood is coming from.”

“It’s not mine.The blood.” He kept his gaze away as she froze.

“Well, we’ll have to reset that arm,” she tried again. “It’s not...it’s not looking good, to say the least.”

He looked towards his mangled right arm and nodded. 

It took some time to undo the splint and she tried not to think about where he had been for him to only have rotted wood and prison rags on hand. She cut his shirt off at the sleeve and down his middle, pulling it off and exposing a painful canvas of mottled bruises, scrapes, and cuts. She handed him her towel and he stuffed it in his mouth without a word. She gently untied the splint.

“Are you ready?” She gazed at him resolutely. He nodded and braced himself as best he could.

“On my count, one, two--” She re-broke his arm a count early on purpose.

“Arrghh! Ffuk!!” He jerked out of her grip.

“Hold still!” He spat out the towel and glared in response.

“Mizq dhiraei allaeaynat 'aw aidbitha!!!” She only understood ‘rip’ and ‘arm’ but she got the gist of his screaming.

“Alright it’s done now, I’m setting it, so stop moving,” She couldn’t help but sigh under his vicious scowl.

“Tsk. Be grateful that I can barely discern your features Ladybug. You’re on my shit list and I don’t feel like kicking your ass today.”

“Wow, thanks for saving me Ladybug, I could have died if it weren’t for you!” Marinette couldn’t help but snark at him.

“...tsk!” Yep, that was as good as she was going to get in his condition.

After years of fighting akuma victims she was able to observe the complex and hidden emotions of her opponents and the civilians that she rescued. And right now, her experience was telling her that Robin had more than his pride ruined. His self-confident, courageous, and taciturn nature seemed to be regressing as he fell back into what was probably a self-defense mechanism. For him to be like this instead of exhausted in his current state told her that he must have been through a lot since she last saw him.

She started to gently clean the blood off and noted the bruises underneath definitely came from an intense melee battle. Most of them were in places that made her cringe just looking at them. At least he doesn’t have any other broken bones, or stab wounds. Lucky him.

Robin put an ice pack to his face in the meanwhile and wouldn’t look in her direction.

It was quiet for a while. “So, what should I call you, then?” And she had to open her big fat mouth, didn’t she? Now it was awkward. It was awkward, and he hated her, and she was never speaking again, ever.

“Damian.” Uh oh.That didn’t sound like a moniker.

“Um, nice code name?” She started disinfecting his cuts and scrapes, trying not to panic.

“I no longer require such aliases.” Ok, process that later, heal Robin now. Process. Later.

“Ro--, Damian, uh, well,” She sighed.  “My offer still stands, you know?”

He made a quiet noise. 

“Last time I saw you, I mean. I had left in a rush,”-- after kissing you senseless-- “but I’m always here to listen if you want to talk about what happened.”

Robin, or Damian now, she still wasn’t used to that, froze. His brows furrowed and he strangely went red in the face, before sighing, slumping against the sink.

“I...the blood’s not mine. It hasn’t been my for a long time, but it might as well be for how long I’ve carried it. I’m not a good person so much as to blame myself completely, but I do recognize some of the fault as mine. I’d gotten help, and I was making progress, but it wasn’t enough. I started falling back into old habits and I hated it. I tried and I failed, and I kept trying and failing for months and I…” He gained a look of despair, the first real emotion she’s seen on him since he dropped in.

“I couldn’t do it anymore. I just kept disappointing everyone and I hated it so much,” he dug his fingers into his matted hair.

“So, I left. I decided to go on a journey to try and repent, and it was working, at least I thought it did. But, then I had stumbled upon a Shadows base and I…” He peered unseeing at the floor.

“It was like I lost all sense of reason. I lay siege to the entire facility and found my way to the next base. It all turned into an endless cycle, all the way until I reached headquarters and inadvertently met up with high ranking members of the Justice League, teaming up to diminish their power. We were successful, but a candidate for the position of the Demon’s Head activated the self-destruct module. Everyone was scrambling to get out and suddenly my mind felt clearer than it had ever been.” He took  a deep breath and Marinette moved closer to offer some comfort. He leaned towards her gratefully.

“The Justice League had already had an escape route, but the Shadows were in disarray for some reason. After I was sure my old comrades were out, I locked all the doors, and dived down to a ceremonial bathing chamber.”

“And that’s where I came in,” she whispered. I think I’m starting to like him more than I should. What is wrong with me?! Who made me this way?! She had some complaints in regards to that.

“You saved my life,” he inclined his head in an informal bow. “Thank you, Ladybug.”

“...Marinette.” She croaked suddenly. She was left reeling from his info dump and her intense, romantic feelings. So, why not go for a confession? 

Damian whipped his head up in disbelief.

“My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Enchanté, Damian.” She smiled at his bewildered state, wiping away a bit of blood under his chin. She opened her mouth to say more, but didn’t get the chance.

Damian leapt up, furious. “You fool! I knew you were a space cadet, but I didn’t think your brain drifted beyond the stars! How utterly moronic!”

“Wait, why are you so mad?!” She panicked. She kind of had a spur of the moment idea to kiss him on his split lip, but that was looking less and less likely to happen.

(Damn it.)

“You told me your name!” he shouted.

“Yes, and you told me your’s?” She retorted. 

“Have you forgotten Hawkmoth?! Your enemy that can read the minds of the emotionally disturbed should he decide to possess them!” He started to hobble out of the bathroom, still half-treated and mostly in pain.

Oh. 

Oh!

“I have to leave, now! If I can stay calm long enough to reach the trains then I’ll be moving too fast for a butterfly to suddenly get me.”

“Uh, Damian?”

“No, it might already be enroute to someone else and might even already be on board,” He winced and stumbled on the tassel rug in the hallway.

“Woah, hang on a second Damian,” she grabbed him before he could fall, but he pulled out of her grip.

“We don’t have time for this, I can guarantee that I would be one of the worst akumas you’ve faced in your hero career, nevermind the insider information I hold within my mind.”

“Yes, but listen to me,” Damian moved towards the small sitting area, not listening to her. 

Again.

“This safehouse should be around one hundred kilometers from the city limits, you’re safe for now, but Hawkmoth’s estimated rate of growth was--”

That’s it!

Marinette grabbed his jaw and slammed it closed. She had had enough.

“This isn’t a safehouse, we’re in my art studio,” she snapped. She could see the rage begin to build to new heights in his eye.

“No, shut your mouth, and listen!” A vein in his forehead started to pulse, but he didn't move to speak.

Good.

“Hawkmoth has been defeated as of last week, and the trial was concluded a couple days ago. Going by what you told me, you've been out the loop for almost a year, so you don’t know that my team and I had closed in on Hawkmoth’s trail some time ago and were able to build a solid case that’ll go through in a court of law,” She carefully let him go.

“So, you’re safe, I’m safe, and Paris is safe too.” She’d already started to calm down in the middle of her explanation, and idly noted that she should probably take an anger management class.

And sign up for therapy. Lots of it, preferably.

Damian nodded slowly as he rubbed his jaw and she couldn’t help her wince.

“Sorry, did I handle you too roughly? Come here,” she started to pull him back towards the bathroom. He resisted.

“No, it’s fine, no damage just from that much force,” he tugged his arm away but she quickly moved behind him and began to push him through the bathroom door.

“Well, I’m not done treating you, so get back in there.” He grabbed the door frame and pushed back, and her calm demeanor left as quick as it came. Was it even truly there to begin with?

“I said,” she picked him up and threw him back on the stool where he grasped for stability.

“Come here.” She leaned in close to his bruised face, and wow, the one eye that she could see was so very, very green. “I’m not done with you, yet.”

“...okay,” he whispered. He kept his head down.

It didn’t take long to finish disinfecting the rest of his wounds, and soon she started applying ointment to the worst of his bruises. She had enough, but she was definitely going to be restocking in order to play his nursemaid for the next week or so. She rose to her feet and started packing away her kit.

“I’ll give you some pain meds for the night, I’ll leave you to take care of the injuries under the rest of your clothes. Come find me in the kitchenette. I’ll make something for us, though it won’t be anything fancy.”

“That is fine.” Marinette frowned at the strange husk in his voice. Did someone try to suffocate him? Why hadn’t she noticed until now?

She kneeled beside him and reached around him for the water bottle she had left in there earlier, but noticed him twitch and start to blush. Did he get a fever too?

She observed his red face and clear, but dilated eyes. Merde, did she embarrass him from earlier? She knew he had a large ego, but it was his own fault for being stubborn.

“Here, get yourself some water from the sink,” she handed the glittery black bottle to him and hurriedly strode out of the bathroom, calling,

“Holler if you need me!” 

Completely aware of the flustered state she left Damian in. Though not for the reason she thinks, at least.