#this doesnt even feel that hard to me i just feel like this is a really big difficulty increase and im probably missing something

[7almoni]

Unfortunately true bc idk how to handle emotions anymore 😭

WHICH ARE HUMAN AF

what’s acceptable & what’s not?

How to communicate them in an appropriate manner?

Now everything just feels WRONG

Any emotion other than joy, I BATTTLLEE with bc I feel like a fraud. Who am I to feel sad? Upset? Disappointed? And if maybe just maybe I convince myself that it’s ok that I feel this way,

NOW I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO COMMUNICATE IT IN A WAY THAT DOESNT FURTHER CAUSE DAMAGE

I feel like a fuck up feeling these emotions

I feel like a fuck up not knowing how to process them

I feel like a fuck up for not knowing how to express them

I feel like an even bigger fuck up after I try my absolute best to feel, process and express them && it’s still ill received even after so much gosh darn effort went into it 😩

It seems like ppl only take my emotions seriously when I’m at the cliff’s edge and it’s like… I DONT WANNA BE AT THE MFN CLIFF EDGE ITS NOT ENJOYABLE FEELING LIKE A MALFUNCTIONED HUMAN & THUS QUESTIONING THINGS I SHOULDNT BE QUESTIONING

But then everyone is kind.

Everyone is understanding.

Then I’m confused and doubtful bc wtf????

And then it just feels that ppl just don’t want the 🩸on their hands, which understandable ig. But if you didn’t care about pushing me to this point, why care at the end of the matter…

I don’t want to be at the edge…

I really really try hard to not be..

I’ll keep trying but JEEZ

[calzone-d]

bob reynolds x fem!reader

warnings: all the smutty things, bobs nips

thinking about how bob's nipples would be so sensitive, esp against lace.

you've got him clothed in one of your sheer white lacy pieces. his nipples are rosy and hard as pebbles beneath the fabric.

first, you teased them with your mouth. hot tongue swirling against the pink buds. the wet fabric clings to them, all shiny and begging for more.

"oh!- oh god, that's good", bob would just be breathless.

you gather spit in your mouth and make quite a messy show of kissing over them both. the spit rolls down his chest and abs, eventually getting cold. it only makes him squirm even more.

it's already too much; your mouth on him, the whole taboo-ness of wearing your lingerie, being spread out on your soft bed squirming and begging for more. the way you trace over all the small frills and stitched details only sends more blood rushing to his cock.

so so softly, your teeth graze them. it's like pouring gasoline on an already raging fire.

in the corner of your eye you see one of his hands struggling to stay at his side.

"you can touch me, honey."

he doesn't even know where to put his hands, his mind is already too far gone. he settles for one in your hair and the other fists the bedsheets trying to stay grounded.

you grin at him when you roll one so gently between your teeth, pinching and barely tugging at the other.

"didn't.. didn't know it'd feel this good.." he murmurs. its quiet, he doesnt trust his voice right now.

"yeah?" his eyes track you as you move to straddle his throbbing cock.

"should let me show you new things more often, honey. you know i always make it good for you.."

and he finally lets his eyes flutter shut, because yeah, you always make everything feel so good for him. new things, old things, he knows he's safe.

you make a show of grinding against him, thumbing the fabric over his rosy buds. he's seconds from cumming- even if he doesn't know it yet. you know all his tells. the way his brows seem to permanently furrow for a bit. his panting is a bit more strangled like he's fighting to not hold his breath.

quickly, you reach down and tug your panties to the side. you're soaked already, and slide down on him without another word. it takes the blushing boy under you by surprise.

"wha-... fuck! shit!" his messy curls hit the back of the pillow as he throws his head back again.

he's shooting thick ropes of cum before you even have the chance to bounce on him. all it took as a few clenches of your hot walls against him and he's already mewling and whining like its his full-time job.

your fingers stroke his neck and chest while he breathes through the aftershocks. after, he's clingy, just like always. lips immediately seeking out your own, pulling you close and burying his face in your neck until his blush subsides.

he's begging for more not even ten minutes later.

-

reqs are open <3

[phantalgia]

This shit is the fucking worse. I swear. I’m self concious and insecure as is. And my Doctor is making out my suffering to not be that bad. With this whole hyperventilating thing reductionism. Literally good days, good weeks, good months. But sometimes. Bad hours, sometimes bad days. It makes me doubt I suffer.

I havent been able to stop thinking about all the signs that something wasnt right. That this isnt just anxiety. There's a bigger picture here I’m not being told. And I keep getting that help and ability to form that picture taken from.

It doesnt help that my therapist (although he does his best) is also reductionist in the anxiety realm. Like I wish they all would just say yeah you’re complicated and valid. I feel shut off from everything. It's all up to me now.

And because I have to essentially semi self diagnose. It makes it less real or authentic to others. Or that it's "all in my head". Literally sick of "just anxiety". There is no "just anxiety" even if it was it's still just as physical. That is so much strain on the body it becomes crippling when it's chronic or all you know.

Oh but I guess that just means I’m "weak" and need to take responsibility for myself. Whatever gets their inspiration porn addiction going. When I HAVE been taking responsibility. Trying to reach out and getting slapped in the face and told "you’re just anxious". Fuck man. You cant please these fuckers.

And I love my doctor. He could be worse but even he's not immune to the whole thing. I don’t know what kind of culture the medical field cultivates. I can only make guesses based on "capital and co" and heirarchy as the foundation. But it's a real pain LITERALLY going through this shit.

Every week I complain about physical symptoms "just breathe into a bag". But it's like no no no. This shit is just happening passively. Yes there are triggers. Yes I know I’m anxious and highly sensitive. Which NONE OF YOU ABLE BODIED FUCKERS UNDERSTAND.

"Just anxiety" is just the most painful thing to hear. Even people with chronic anxiety or occasional anxiety just say it to others. Anxiety-realism. Literally. Anxiety has been sterilized and become meaningless as a word to describe a sensation unique to each person yet chronic in a collective so high on "the grind" that when some people fall down. And fall down in complex ways. Theyre seen as weak. They have been afflicted with the "anxiety" psychosomatic bug. It's in their brain and cant possibly be seen as an interwoven complex issues of a culture hellbent on extracting every ounce of your money, time, soul, mental health, physical health. EVEN JUST BEFORE YOURE BORN.

It's painful. The strides I've been making in my reach for authenticity, honesty, and transformation. It's often seen as an exaggeration. That going out of the house while second nature to most had been anxiety and stress inducing to me till the point my body couldnt take it anymore along with covid and surgery. That regardless I’m fighting for a life i want given these curses which have at the same time brought me the gift of seeing life differently in more holistic ways. Outside of binary positive/negative norms that people just don’t understand.

I’m fighting hard and the celebration is quieter than a whisper. I’m grateful to be able to celebrate and mourn my body and strides. And maybe the quiet isnt so bad. I can put on my own music. Move and groove at my own pace.

But it is painful. It's painful having been the one lost to time all your life. The after thought to everything. My celebrations go quiet because it's all just me and my Dad's twilight years. To not be sure where to go next. To find connection with likeminded, similar minded creatures. That one day you just "woke up" but it was a build up to that moment for sure. But you just woke up one day. And now you’re confused. Where do you go next?

I want to do more for my communities. But it can be hard. It can even be hard to find a sense of it. When you need help. When I need help getting through a scary episode...who will be there?

It's not hard to imagine a world where we have that culture. But the culture is too realist or worse chronically pessemistic that it becomes narcissistic.

Invisible disabilities are strange. They can put you in the inbetween world. Where nothing is consistent. And people don’t like inconsistency. It makes them uncomfortable. When it's just a reality. It's liminal. I remember saying how last year every day felt like groundhog day. It was the same day over and over and over again. It still is in a lot of ways.

There's a battle of identity insecurity that goes on. To conform to able bodied standards but to also conform to disabled body standards. You cant win in this world. If you’re better it must mean you’re fine. But if not. You must be sick. But if it keeps oscillating between the two. Then you must be "delusional" or "just anxious".

You scream and bang on the door begging them to please look at this. I said that my symptoms were unprecedented to my doctor. And all I got was a "well no theyre not, anyone can have these symptoms given hyperventilating". The curiosity ends there, hit a brick wall. Nothing moves forward.

It's my own little space of hell for me. I thought that the physical stuff was the hell. It really is the least of it. I know what I need and what to do when they happen. What is really hell is other people.

being chronically ill with fluctuating symptoms is so annoying because when it's at it's worst im like "okay i desperately need some type of mobility aid right now, i haven't been able to leave my house in days" but then i'm able to go for a walk one day and suddenly i feel like im exaggerating my symptoms and that i actually can walk fine and it would just be embarrassing and pointless to ask for a mobility aid assessment

but like ... not struggling as much one day doesn't take away from the days that i struggle the most

our pain is valid even when it's not at it's worst and we deserve the accommodations we need even if we don't always need them at all times

[xingchens-eyeballs]

NAMGYU DOES NOT HATE THANOS I SWEAR IM NOT DELUSIONAL HEAR ME OUT!!!

long so under cut :3

ok so we know that he was imitating thanos a ton after he died, and some people say he was mocking him, but i dont think that's all. he was def mocking him sometimes, but i think he he was also trying to become him.

before he heads into the maze, he teams up with myunggi because he knows myunggi is strong (cus myunggi killed thanos). namgyu is the type of person who cannot do anything on his own, but he still tries to act like he can. thats why he teamed up with thanos in the first place: he thought thanos was strong, and he admired him for that. but also thanos wasn't great to him and couldn't even remember his name, so he also felt inferior to him (ahem see that one roh jaewon post) and that feeling of inferiority is why he resented thanos along with his admiration.

the very first time he says like thanos is a bastard and whatever is when he's sitting on thanos's bed, holding his cross, and his eyes are all red and he literally sounds like he's about to cry. i think that's pretty clear that he had lots of mixed feelings about thanos and didn't purely hate him.

the second time is to minsu, and I think that's mostly cus he wanted to sort of reassert his perceived superiority, and he wasn't going around all like 'omg im so glad thanos is dead' so...

and honestly i think he was doing it more to get on minsu's nerves than to purely mock thanos, cus thanos looked down on minsu too

then when he's trying to convince myunggi to team up with him he's like visibly nervous. he tries so hard to be nonchalant (at least thats how it looked to me), and he first does a lot of like appealing to myunggi's sense of logic, being like you need me to help you n shit. then when that doesn't work (cus ofc it doesnt he's been fucking with myunggi since day one), he pulls the i hate thanos and im glad u killed him card, because it was clear that thanos was the ringleader, and namgyu probably thought that he'd have a better chance of getting myunggi to agree if he separated himself from thanos a bit. and it's obvious he's going for myunggi's ego in this play too, because he was all like 'u were so awesome when u were stabbing him' n shit, and myunggi probaby didn't really believe him but he took him in anyway. then right before they head into the maze he like hypes himself up, like sighing in relief and then like taking a deep breath n shit, and he also said what thanos wouldve said, like "lets go" or some shit in english. so i think it's pretty clear that this isn't like asserting how much he hates thanos then mocking him, i think he's trying to feel better about himself and the situation by trying to become thanos, because to him thanos is the ideal (which is funny because thanos isn't actually strong or brave or anything either). all the later times where he quotes thanos's song lyrics and copies him i think is also him trying to assert control, and become thanos who he thinks is strong and cool. he was popping those pills like its his job too, so he was also riding a super high, and that def distorted his feelings and perception of a lot as well, so i dont think it can be used as evidence to say namgyu totally hated him

now, do i think it's love? not really. it was probably just obsession. but namgyu listens to thanos's songs (and quotes them!! very happily with his full namussy too!!!), he apparently got him tons of free drinks at the club, he lets thanos walk all over him n shit, so it's also not pure hatred. he wouldn't do all that for someone he truly hated. like, maybe he'd play nice with them and be clingy n shit (which i fear might b just his default mode actually) like with myunggi (he didn't seem to hold that same feeling of inferiority when it came to myunggi, and although there was some level of respect cus he needed him for the game- it wasn't admiration like he had for thanos, he wasn't as nice to myunggi as he was with thanos cus he was still mocking him, sorta..., with the whole "amazing myunggi" shit), and he also knew thanos for much longer, and i think getting this attention (both negative and positive) from someone who's like your idol would result in these kinds of mixed feelings.

but also i kind of hate season three and i dont think i trust that the writers know what they're doing anymore after whatever happened to the plot and the horrific character assassinations (ahem- daeho and the hwang brothers) so im going to ignore allat and pretend it ended in s2!! >O<

(its ok if u think differently pls dont jump me this is just my interpretation other ones r valid too)

[thebettertraiaad]

Why I think flatline x maps

First off nika is the definition of a rebel in her design and how she breaks normalcy for something she believes in and at the same time shipping damian with her isnt fitting since he is literally the definition of 'redemption' because of his R and nika being a killer and how she even enjoys killing people because of her nature its giving more of a relapse than redemption. its like the writers are trying so hard to make her look queer but not he queer and the writing in it? ASS its better appreciated in a damn gacha video than an actual story and dont even get me started on the fans.

Reasons why I like maps being with flatline; its letting the polar opposites find a similarity and also fleshing out them as a person and mia being weaker in a way(since im writing this in their age as teens) gives nika more than enough to think that 'oh not everyone is strong' and there! Its where the building of her happens how she could change since mia cant go to her level in a literal scale but still train to be able to protect herself since this isnt a weakgf x strongergf trope. But its the fact that nika needs to learn someone elses capacity since she wants to be with her, maps herself is a nice person and I think it would also be best to explore the narrative of girls understanding their emotions romantic wise considering that since nika is russian and how she was probably raised in a catholic and probably homophobic environment she probably would just excuse her feelings for just strong friendship and how mia is the opposite, raised in america 🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅 shes exposed to more than the narrative of a female and male romantic partnership and therefore kind of explains to nika and how her feelings towards her are normal and how its okay to feel like that even if she was sort of raised to believe that fags are all just mentally ill people. And considering maps being the more curious type their relationship is probably going to work with how she's emotionally intelligent in her own way, and how nika is probably affectionate and thoughtful when it comes to someone she considers a loved one(since MIND YOU! Flatline originally had a family that abandoned her and therefore raised and used by lord deathman and sort of isolating her from people Because of that) and how when she realizes these feelings and how maybe mia is kind of vulnerable flatline will have to come to terms that maps is someone important that she cant just find again, her first friend, girlfriend and literal therapist.

Second reason; damian is better of single(PLS DONT DOXX ME FOR THIS!) because mans is emotionally unavailable like his daddy but at the same time observant, he is surrounded by people with toxic/unhealthy relationships to a point where I see him not even wanting a serious relationship with anyone, sure crushes are still their but he knows to handle emotions once he finally goes to therapy or asks alfred about it.

Its not just for their aesthetic purposes of a cutegf x a gothgf but the characters themselves interacting, flatline doesnt always have to banter with maps and it could just be them being straight domestic in a way that is healthy, a softness for both girlfriends to just be there for each other and not having to do school bullshit or assassin work bullshit and not as suffocating as daminika. Damian is like a puzzle piece of emotions and nika isnt about to fix his problems like shes bob the builder since she also has some baggage to unpack because girl has a lot on her plate just like him, the constant stress and probably misunderstanding and difference is making it really clear that their relationship was because they want someone to be there for them when they couldnt even be there for themselves and other people. They are angsty teens and no one can convince me that they were in love in the first place, I cant even call it puppy love with how flatline keeps randomally being their when damian is in the lazarus tournament(like girl there are more interesting people than him trust me😭) and how the writers force it is honestly a weak attempt at trying to cover up their trashy gacha life writing with good art and cool character designs.

Honestly this is my opinion of dc and its writers and how they are trying too hard to push damians love interests when its like supposed to be the most hardest time in his life aka alfred being killed and family misunderstandings, yeah. Like a girlfriend is just going to magically fix his problems like his family problems.

Sorry I got too heated especially when its an opinion of a multimillion company not serving as good as they did but I guess thats just the flaw of picking money over talent and good idea and a better insight on the most mischaracterized characters and their depiction of THEIR literal creations.

@ceristhefallen

@starstruckloversweets

@juan1dupree23

@thebettertraiaad

I think i got a lil too overboard w this but i want you guys to read it.

[jeffbuckleysbeltbuckle]

could you make a fic where chris is not doing the best mentally so nick and matt call his girlfriend to come over and talk to him

Why didn’t you tell Chris?

sad!chris x caring!reader.

warnings:Crying,depression,fluff

• i am not english,nor do i proofread so if theres any mistakes please lmk!

Chris is in his room.Hes bawling his eyes out.But why? He doesnt know either.Hes been feeling so empty and sad and mad all at the same time he couldn’t take it anymore.Matt and Nick are at the store right now,so he didnt need to hold himself back from crying.

He knows he can tell you,or his brothers,his other friends and family.But he couldnt,he didnt want to be a burden to anyone.Because why would Christopher Sturniolo of all people be depressed? He felt like he had no reason to feel that way.

As he sobbed his eyes out wich are now bloodshot,he sat down on his floor.Against the foot of his bed,he dragged his hand across his face desperately trying to stop crying but he cant,he couldn’t.He covered his eyes and he didnt even hear his brothers come home because he sobbed so loudly,so emotionally.

Matt and nick heard him cry,but they both knew they wouldn’t be able to help or care for him as well as someone else would,that person is you.As much as chris loves his brothers this is something he would have it very hard with to open up about to his brothers about.So mat decided to call if you could come over.You got dressed and took the first bus you had to his house,and arrived slightly drenched in water because of the rain snd thunder outside.

You pulled your coat off and immediately went to Chris’ room and softly knocked on the door.You heard him say “matt or nick just leave me alone for a bit,okay?” and you opened his door,he looked shocked but then smiled soflty,his cheeks were stained with tears.

You sat down next to him and you guys had a conversation,and you eventually dragged him outside.In the garden you forced him to dance in the rain until you guys were both laughing.Matt and nick watched from the kitchen window and high fived eachother.

Guys did i do good? #mysecondfanfic 😜

(forgot to mention the dividers are i think by @bernardsbendystraws)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

personal happiness or what the fuck ever

bonus:

[casualavocados]

Learn from who? Learn from you?

Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)

[dukeofthomas]

Here's my controversial opinion; if you're trying to write Bruce as a non-abusive, good parent, you should also write him respecting his kids' privacy, boundaries, and not stalking&surveying them.

[mediumgayitalian]

via the frantic dms i sent to my friend:

if i were to start nywhere it would have to be with frankie. she lowkey annoyed me as a kid but i love her now. and who would the naive but bright w a dark past and complicated feelings about Everything character be…thats hazel baby

loooooooooooove the idea of 15 day old hazel with the body of a woman who died in the 40s like YES

in the mad scientist vamp family….nico her vamp brother…..vampirism as a metaphor for homosexuality obviously….nico being an old ass vamp who went into hiding very young when he was first turned literally centuries ago….

just as out of time as hazel but in a totally different way…..

theyre in the timeless teenage setting of monster high with all their other friends lol.

god there are so many other obvious ones. that are not exactly the same. but could be shifted. percy as this very powerful sea monster character…but hes half human. hides that shit HARD. couldnt pass in the normie world and is always looking over his shoulder in the monster world…terrified hes going to be outed…and doesnt that mean more than one thing here. and annabeth the half normie half monster of some kind but she doesnt know…neither does anyone else…,number one rumor is that she isnt a monster at all. rules the school but people HATE her cus they dont understand why shes here. shes always proving herself.

looooooooooooove the idea of jason from ever after high

love lovr LOVE IT i am obsessed

toppled things over back there…no memory at all…only the feeling of being monstrous….him and his fangs fit right in at MH…but the guilt of something he cant remember haunts him……

leo as heath flames that one is easy lol

will my darling my mummy boy. in a tomb for literally 5000 years. everyone he ever knew and loved is looooong long gone. his language is gone. his culture is gone. he is an artifact. he REPRESENTS all that is left of his time. hes gonna nav that. nico the only other person at MH even close to as old as he is….but its not the same.

nico is literally one tenth as oldas he is

500 vs 5000 years

nico hated where he lived….hes grouchy but he loves MH. loves hazel. loves the new opportunity to let his freak fly.

will who misses the past so bad his teeth ache with it. wrapped with bandages he can never take off. or that he wont take off.

and iloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove frank as medusas son i LOVE IT

terrified of letting himself be seen bc that could kill everyone he loves IKTR

hating his heritage. parentage at odds with percy -- but percy loves him, percy is so kind. so hard for him to reconcile that with all his mother has told him and that he KNOWS is true….she was treated so evilly….and yet…percy is so kind….and none of the other monsters are so bad either…and yet they can be free in a way he cannot…..

and WEREWOLF PIPER

hairy and BEAUTIFUL and always feeling like an animal. in the normie world for entirely different reasons but always feeling less than wherever she goes.

so so beautiful and so so hurting and so so angry and so so desperate to be something shes not

attached to the cycles of the moon.

okay thalia kills me bc she is firmly in ever after high and crawling her way back to her brother. never ever fit in. never tried to. you know the fairytale brother and sister?

basically its. this brother and sister are cast out by their stepmother. into the woods they escape before she kills them, but she has cursed the woods so they cannot feel any softness from it. days later the brother is desperate for a drink and dives to a stream but the sister hears the stream whisper that whomever drinks from it will be turned into a tiger. so she begs and pleads and pulls him away. on they go. they make their way to another pool, and once again the brother is desperate, and this time the pool whispers that whomever drinks from it will become a wolf. once again the brother is desperate. once again the sister pleads him away. the third creek they pass the brother cannot be stopped -- the creek whispers a similar warning, whomever drinks from it will turn to a dear. the sister, weeping, cannot stop her brother, and he is turned into a deer.

the woods, satisfied, leave the sister to its softness. she lives in the woods for years, deflecting hunters away from her brother. caring for him. and after many years she meets a hunter, a king, and he is so impressed by her skill and by her love for her brother that he falls in love with her. and she him. they marry, and she takes her brother with her to live on the grounds.

only her ascent to royalty catches the attention of the stepmother. and the stepmother casts an evil, twisted copy of the sister, sending the copy to take her place, and the twisted sister slaughters her deer brother and feeds him to the kingdom. the king knows what has happened and is horrifed at his wife. the real sister, heartbroken and ashamed, flees to the woods, where she dies.

the whole thing with ever after high is that its about legacies. the children of fairy tale characters -- good and evil -- must assume their parents roles.

jason and thalia as the myth of the brother and sister. except

jason is so thirsty.

thalia cannot stop him from the second pool.

he turns into a wolf. a wolf a thousand times thirstier than he was before.

he begs her to leave, as he is turned. to abandon him.

but she cant.

and he kills her.

tears her to shreds.,

he is hunted by all the kingdom for his crimes. flees, ripping through the woods. falls down the well of madness, which would usually connect to wonderland (actual EAH lore lol) except it is the solar eclipse, and the water takes him, instead, anew, to monster high

god i love monster high lore.

ANYWAYS he is a werewolf there. no memory except the blood on his hands.

and thalia --

thalia did not die.

she did spend years in the woods. hunting. desperate. told her brother was slaughtered. not shown his body. refusing to admit it. refusing to have anything to do with the king. hunting her brother down to find him again. to hold him even if he will never again be recognizable

because THAT is her legacy, that is the contract she signed, that is all she cared about

and she finds him alright

toying what nicos family looks like now. either i lean into loving adoptive hades & persephone who are franks like hazel and have nico with them or if hades is more layered than that. like very old and doing underground things idk

nico as an italian vamp who cant look in mirrors or like have garlic. drives will nuts he'll near kill himself to cook with garlic and will is like look one day im just gonna lose my shit and stab a chopstick through your chest i stg

DREW AS ABBEY I LOVE

bigger than all the other girls and shorter and meaner but not always trying to be. always thinks she can do things better and she CAN but she cant make friends for shit. mean to protect herself. cries herself to sleep. misses home so desperately. wants to feel beautoful. doesnt until piper who stomps into school without even TRYING, without the pretty clothes or the shaving her face or doing fuck all

and drew HATES HER she is immeidately beloved and top game and friends everywhere and she doesnt even brush her fur drew wants her DEAD

and dreams about her every night

was toying with a couple things for nefera de nile but no. will needs to wake up alone in that tomb

cecil is ust straght up a normie lol.

he is literally a mini victor frankenstein hes just buckshit insane and so so good at fucking things up that he has created life four separate times in for separate ways to the point that everyone was like okay you jhave to go here

you are a hazard to society we cant handle your freak ass and they would love you

and hes genuinely such an autistic weirdo that he fits in fine everyone thinks hes just done enough experiments on himself to become a monster

theyre not entirely wrong

hes obsessed with will and will is a little bit into it thats why theyre friends

also cecil managed to revive a scarab will was buried with and he cries and it makes him feel tethered to this time for the first time

just straight up witch lou ellen yeah that work s for me

via my friend: "and what kind of monster are you to attend here?" "oh! im pagan :))"

genie reyna stuck in a lantern world with her sister and the weirdness of the lantern world for YEAAAARSSS both trying to survive until the lantern is knocked over by percy…just cracked…she is free to live while her sister twists into a shade inside….she comes back for her sister as soon as she learns how but its too late by then…hylla is twisted beyond recognition and reyna almost detroys the monster world desperately trying to bring her back

okay lee is easy. will is just trying to live his life and slowly he is adjusting and one day there is a new zombie at school with his fucking brother's face :)) absolutely no mortal memories, has been a zombie for decades and all his memories are from his zombie life. but thats lee. and will gets his whole world shattered again because lee is back like he prayed would happen but lee is no longer his brother

i dont have anything specific for kayla or austin but i really like the idea of them being older ghosts that died young and will kind of adopts them because they miss the past like he does and he is close enough to death that he can communicate with them in a different way

yes i like that theyre ghosts

GROVER

thats easy tho hes a plant monster

no extra lore for him he doesnt need any

he can be a little evil tho

as a treat

thats everybody i think!!

how embarrassed would yall be on my behalf if i started talking abiut a monster high au.

[s0fter-sin]

one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules

the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)

almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)

they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning

(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)

even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)

so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim

it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character

the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring

we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)

it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other

sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother

[artuurle]

(AU)

What if you died and something divine loved you so much it couldn't cope with that fact? What if they tried bringing you back but the result was wrong?

More doodles + rambles below:

Now What if what came back was just off. Looks at the divine without the memories that went back decades. It looks, behaves and works in a way just off enough in a way to make the god unable to look at it. it's not you. it's not. it can't be.

.... but what if what got pulled back was still you, but its- YOU'RE wrong and broken in ways you cant understand anymore.

The apocalypse draws closer and closer and you don't know why every day that passes you seem to be falling more and more apart too. The god is gone. You are alone.

....Anyway yeah i fucked up a perfectly normal Lovestory Au. i gave it anxiety is what i did. sorry for horrid typing in 2nd person trying to explain stuff im bad at explaining <3 i draw, not write for a reason lol.

[kosmicdream]

Absolutely love to hear that you made someone promise to read FFAK as a penalty for losing a MTG game!! Anyway yes, as far as reccs go - definitely check out Kemonozume. It actually was specifically a huge influence for FFAK when i was brainstorming ideas, although I had seen it several years before making FFAK.

I will admit, i haven’t read much Ishinomori LOL.. - my favorite work of his besides Cyborg 007 is Kikaider! Which was actually visually, a huge inspiration for the robot/cyborg designs in FFAK - specifically Scissor’s look. I have been meaning to reread his manga again because its been such a long time since I did. The real reason why I get petty about him and Go Nagai is kind of like.. Well.. 

Obviously, growing up in the 90s, its hard to imagine not being into Power Rangers in some way - which I loved a lot but I’ll admit I barely remember details.. Its just like a fond childhood.. Memory. Power rangers for me really quickly got replaced by Sailor Moon - but it was still something that everyone KNEW. Later on in life when I got more into manga (i always was fond of anime from a young age, whatever I could get my hands on anyway) .. And in my teens, taking it “more seriously” as I wanted to become a comic artist myself.. I remember being like.. Oh my god, wait, Power Rangers!??! THAT was the Cyborg 007 guy?! And he- what?! HUH?? And I feel like - not to dunk on Go Nagai - but Kamen Rider and stuff is like.. Hard to imagine that just like.. Not existing for television? If that makes sense?? Like, how many kids had power ranger birthday parties, wore those for halloween, ect ect- while anime still was like.. It obviously WAS there and had its influence in the 90s but it was still “uncool.” but ALL the kids loved POWER RANGERS! 

And to me, while Go Nagai has certainly influenced SO much with his work and is a huge titan in his own way - it DOESNT feel comparable in the scope of what Ishinomori managed to do. I guess. Like, to me, Ishinomori - while still heavily influenced by Tezuka - made a different kind of impact on the world that just wasn’t there before him. That makes him feel like a different.. Kind of influential titan in terms of like. Scope. Its like “so big” that no one sees it anymore, because it feels like its not from “anyone.”. (and obvs, he wasn’t the only person involved in Super Sentai and ect..) BUT.. so isn’t go nagai with his works!!! And Ishinomori draws way better than Go nagai.. even if I think Ishinomori’s style is also virtually identical to Tezuka that i used to get them confused and STILL can be confused seeing them side by side lmao 

Regardless tho, this i just my opinion on the two of them.. I do appreciate how horny, weird, and genderfucky Go Nagai’s work often includes. And i do think that is incredibly valuable, anime/manga history would not be the same without it.. BUT… i also think many mangaka were contributing to this rising trend of darker and more sexual themes!! Including Tezuka.

OH.. so .. Tezuka.. 

UMMM.. as for Tezuka.. Jfc.. its hard to know where to start ‘cause I love so much of his work. He’s so unhinged. He's a fascinating storyteller to me.. as well as who he was as an artist and person. I love learning about him. Its delightful, tragic, puzzling and often surreal too. It makes me reflect a lot on my own life as an artist and how I ended up being like how i am, and why art possesses me too in a way I can't really comprehend. BUT, through learning about Tezuka - it gives me some language to describe it and makes me feel less alone and less strange. I've basically, over the years, created my own Tezuka-sona in my head to help mentor me through difficult times in my art and comics. Obviously, its not remotely him at all - its me wearing a mask of this.. exaggerated, characterization of who Tezuka is to me - but that game i play with myself helps me a lot when I'm stuck. Somehow pretending to be him, or pretending I understand how he'd think - grounds me. usually because I am apposed to him and his "reckless behavior" - of overworking, overthinking, being too impulsive.. ect.. but he also has "the thing" - "the spark" of what true artistic genius looks like. a fire that goes on for generations and generations and never goes out. The.. "it cannot be replicated" kind of "genius." He is THAT to me and I will always love him for making me feel that way. And I know a lot of artists do too. It truly is magical. I truly feel he gave that to everyone and anyone with his art. AND he was a furry with a transformation kink FOR sure. not even a single doubt. Thank FUCK for Tezuka!! ...Anyway!! i am rambling quite a bit here.. it happens a lot w/ tezuka.. it just does.. i never shut up abt tezuka.. Phoenix of course, his unfinished masterpiece, is still my favorite. (Nostalgia & Sun part 1/part 2 are my favorites from that series.) I also love MW, Ode to Kirihito, Black Jack, Book of Human Insects, Ayako.. Ect..  and so many of his short story collections. I don’t really like a lot of his younger-audience stories. And I actually didnt rly like Buddha, which is usually regarded as one of his greatest works.. But Pheonix and MW are probably my true favorites. If there was (another) house fire, I would probably try to grab my phoenix volumes. That’s how important they are to me (and those things are hella expensive now lmao.) Also Kaiba, another anime series by Yuasa that is a bit more popular, is undoubtably very Tezuka inspired. I didn't like it as much as Kemonozume, but it still was a memorable watch & had great music. I still listen to the soundtrack!

And dont worry, i will keep making FFAK! Unless i actually manage to finish it. Then i will work on other things. Who knows!! for now, we still have a long ways to go before I can even pretend to say its wrapping up.

do you have any opinions on go nagai? having read devilman + devilman lady i think you have a lot in common with him as an artist

Oh. I have OPINIONS.. My hot take is that i actually kinda hate Go Nagai LMAO.. i know, i think most would assume otherwise but.. Well. Every time i have read or engaged with an adaptation of his work, I’m left feeling underwhelmed in a way that’s.. pretty frustrating. I wanna like it! but I’m usually left with feeling “.. that’s it??” and i struggle to feel an actual connection with anything made, it feels more like seeing something for the sake of having a broader appreciation for manga.Like, of course, you cannot deny his legacy/influence on manga/anime. But personally i need more than that to connect with an artist and so far, I haven’t felt it. I don’t want it to be forced, but it doesn’t keep me pursuing more of his stories to see if it clicks for me. 

I could also feel this way because I’m such a huge Tezuka fan (he’s one of my favorite artists ever who massively changed my storytelling when I started reading him as a teenager) that I almost have a harder time looking at Go Nagai’s stories and wondering what new things he brings to the table that Tezuka hasn’t.. Done already but better. Possibly a hundred times even. This also could just be a trend with western online circles, but i get kinda offended?? That Go nagai is brought up SO often when i feel like Shotaro Ishinomori was like. Way more interesting as an artist (while also being another well known mangaka Tezuka directly mentored) To me. And i dont see his name brought up quite as often. This is of course just a very petty reason but I CANT LIE.. it will still annoy me.. I see the appeal of Go Nagai’s artwork, but it kinda always gives the vibe of like. Traced Tezuka drawings to me. My favorite thing about his work has to be maybe Sirene’s design. And some of the devil designs are cool. But man, that's kind of like grasping at straws to say something nice. I think his cover art/illustrations are stronger than his actual manga pages, which i feel often look very stiff or unintentionally awkward. His stories too feel a bit rushed. Like “i dont know what im doing! Who gives a fuck!!! heh” kind of writing. Which I think can be appealing and fun but idk.. 

I think because Berserk is such a huge influence on my work, it makes sense that Devilman would be a given too, since Devilman was essentially the blueprint for a lot of Berserk. But I really just think what Miura saw and took from Devilman was vastly more interesting than devilman itself for me. I also somewhat enjoyed the Devilman crybaby anime that was made several years ago but.. Once again.. That was because of Masaaki Yuasa, who is one of my favorite anime directors.. And.. also.. Devilman Crybaby kind of just felt like Kemonozume (an older anime by Yuasa) but worse. It was still fun! but Kemonozume was truly unique and incredible to me. All those qualities that i liked about crybaby were in Kemonozume but stronger, with an original plot/characters and felt less restrained narratively to a pre-existing story. (and one with such a big legacy)

IDK.. hopefully not too disappointing to hear but that’s my honest opinion… So far everything of Go Nagai seems more interesting when done by other people for me, including fanart. I’ve seen SO much fanart that makes it look like a story I want to check out!!!!!! and then the story I check out is just not anything like what i thought lmao. NOW i know what to expect. and so far its just been the same meh feeling.

Anyway.. That’s kinda about it! Yup..

[vodid]

zero's pressure

[wackywatchdotcom]

sometimes i am haunted by the imagery of gangle putting on a mask that has a face but no actual holes for the eyes or mouth. that the other side of the mask is completely, utterly blank

[atanxdoesstuff]

"I don't see the end

I don't know where

To run away from you

No way back"

~ Змея (Moa Pillar & Ушко)

they are so toxic yuri to me