#this is only part of why i'm going to hell

[xsilversugar]

It fuckin' kills me every time I think about it. I don't support Rowling or think of her in my day-to-day outside of being actively reminded of the harm she causes. I too want her to vanish. She was a huge part of my childhood but I grew out of her and called her a hack by the sixth book and basically only hate-read the last because I had to know how it ended. I didn't have the full context or understanding for why what she wrote felt off to me--so by the time her political views became well-known; I felt vindicated in my dislike of her. Throwing her work away and not caring by then was easy. It's only when I think of the active harm that I feel anything about it all.

However learning about Neil Gaiman fucking gutted me. I was so wanting to believe it wasn't true but even then one of my first thoughts was a cold "yeah, that tracks actually" (hell, I literally had a dream practically predicting it) but it still felt more personal a betrayal rather than a broad lingering hate. More...insidious. I stay silent and don't involve myself in the fandom anymore because if I let it...it'd still hurt me...like a raw wound merely ignore. I cried for practically a week straight, in and out of denial and hopeful that it was a misunderstanding, but I was so invested in digging up whatever news I could, and then I had to stop. It was too much. I'd occasionally still recommend his works to people in private but I don't go out of my way to suggest anyone dare pay for it in the slightest anymore. If the topic of favorite authors comes up, I just don't have one anymore. I might offer to give someone a copy I have but I tell them why I'll never read it again myself.

Maybe it's because I went through this before with Rowling in particular but I thought it would be easier to cut Gaiman out. On one hand, sure, it is exceptionally easy to just let myself become distracted with other things, to not think about it or talk about it. On the other...I only stay silent because it still hurts just as much and I just can't unpack it this time. I can't. It's too much. I don't care if that makes me sound stupid or whatever. I'm too disgusted.

Still, I don't think I could say I disowned him, his work, or what he meant to me. The view I had was wrong. I haven't abandoned my love for those stories, I can't forget; that's why for the most part I don't bring it up without context because s long as I am distracted; I'm fine. If I think about it for too long...I feel like I'll fall apart. He is the one who disowned us, betrayed us, and did truly unforgivable things to others whom I choose to believe--and even hell has standards--so he's simply not welcome. That's all.

It's impressive how Neil Gaiman vanished from the internet. Wish Rowling would do the same.

[yoiisa]

hi there, can u write a fic (college au/no blue lock) where reader & isagi are in a relationship, but his roommates slash friends don't know bcs reader always comes over whenever isagi says that his friends (bachira, kunigami, & chigiri) aren't at their apartment, but then get caught one day when his friends went back home early?

ive only stumbled upon ur account recently and i love ur fics/writing!!

omg love!! idk how colleges in japan work, so im just going to model this based on american colleges :D

all characters aged up (20+)! Tags: slightly suggestive and making out!!

➜ you knew isagi yoichi for around 6 months before the two of you started dating, but you'd been eyeing him for all of that time ➜ he was exactly your type- quiet, but the sweetest and most considerate person ever. ➜ he had beautiful blue eyes, was taller than you, and played soccer for the school. holy hell, talk about your personal kryptonite ➜ he was always too shy to ask you out though, so you had to take initiative on that front

You're sitting under a tree with Isagi in the school's courtyard. People are passing you by, heading to their respective classes. All you can think of in this moment though is how nice this is. The summer breeze is brushing his hair perfectly and the sun is making his eyes look like tiny sapphires. He looks like a prince. "Um, [name]?" he asks looking down at you. "Are you okay? You've been really quiet." You blink a few times, snapping out of your trance. You look down at your lap, staying silent for a little while. "Hey, Isagi?" you start. He leans forward and you feel like your heart is a car that someone just revved. "Umm, you don't have a girlfriend right?" "N-no," he stammers, taken aback. "Why?" "Do you," you cut yourself off, taking a deep breath. You meet his gaze and give him a tiny smile as you force the words out of your throat. "Do you wanna go out with me?" Your heart stops as he physically flinches back. "Nevermind!" you quickly say, holding your hands up in defense. "I'm so sorry, just forget all of that-" "N-no! That's not it, I- I do like you," he insists, "I just didn't expect you to ask me out." He lets out a deep breath and chuckles. "I was actually going to try and ask you out. My friends were giving me all this advice on how to do it. You just caught me off guard though. Beat me to the punch, huh?" He takes your hand in his and squeezes it. "But to answer your question, yes. I would like to go out with you."

➜ and that was that! the two of you were a couple. only one thing though- you'd never met those illusive friends ➜ whenever you went over to his dorm- a quad with two bunk beds and four desks, as well as a quite beautiful view of the whole campus through the window- there was no one else there but the two of you ➜ six months went by and not a single glimpse of them! you asked isagi about it once and he gave you a few excuses

"Well Bachira's really close to his mom, so he leaves campus a lot to hang out with her every now and then. She doesn't live too far from here anyways," Isagi explains as he rests his head in your lap. "And then Chigiri has a part time job at a physical therapist's office. He used to go there for himself since he messed up his leg once in an accident a while ago." You nod, running your finger through his hair. "And what about Kunigami?" "Also has a part time job as a kiddie's soccer coach," he says. "Hmm," you smirk and tickle your boyfriend's neck. He flinches and you giggle, "So you're the only one unemployed, huh?" He stiffens and gives you a look out of the corner of his eyes. "No. Bachira doesn't have a job too."

➜ when you finally meet Isagi's roommates . . . it's a mess ➜ after not seeing them enough times, you grew relatively comfortable with the idea that you never would in the dorms, and so did he ➜ he would have you over pretty often, and to be completely honest, sometimes things got a little spicy! ➜ so here you were, sitting on his desk and his standing between your legs. your lips locked in a heady kiss that was making you lightheaded. your tongues lapped hungrily at one another and your teeth clacking ➜ and then the door opened.

"Yoichi~" you gasp as he pulls back from your mouth. He starts to trail kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking small bruises into your collarbone and neck. "Mmm, you're so sweet," he groans, inhaling your scent. He feels like getting drunk off of it. His hot hands trail under your shirt, tracing around your curves. You giggle, but then both of your bodies freeze as you hear the door clicking. Isagi, in a moment of pure panic, tightens his grip on your waist and fucking shoves you off the desk and onto the floor. He was trying to hide you underneath the desk, not wanting his roommates to catch you both in this position, but all he does is just accidentally make you kneel in front of him. Right in front of him. Honestly, it helped enough because now your back is to his roommates, who are no doubt staring at you both as if they just walked in on a porno. Isagi stares at the trio. Bachira looks scandalized, Kunigami looks shocked, and Chigiri looks annoyed. "You couldn't bother locking the door when you have a hookup over?" the pink haired boy asks. "What. The. Hell. Is. This," Bachira says, looking two seconds from passing out. "Bachira, breathe," Chigiri grumbles, walking inside. "At least get her off her knees," Kunigami says, following Chigiri. He comes up behind you and taps you on your shoulder. "Miss-" You, in your panic and fear and shame, cannot think to say literally anything else other than, "I'm his girlfriend, not a hookup." Everyone stops breathing. "His GIRLFRIEND?!" Bachira roars, lunging at you. He grabs you by your shoulders, whirls you around and pulls you up to your feet. Kunigami hits him on the back of his head, "Don't handle a girl like that!" "I-It's fine," you say, waving Kunigami off with a small smile. "I'm so sorry about this. It's just, whenever I've been over, none of you are ever here, so I guess we got a little . . . careless." "You've been here before?" Bachira asks. A thud sounds from behind you and you whirl around. Bachira and Kunigami peek over your shoulder. Chigiri walks up to an Isagi whose cherry red. The embarrassment was just too much for his brain to handle anymore it seems. "Yoichi!" you shout, kneeling next to him. "I'll get him water," Chigiri says, walking to the dorm's mini fridge.

➜ the two of you never live this first impression down. not even at your wedding.

[directdogman]

I recall you mentioning which Pokemons corresponded to Dsaf characters, and since I've recently been playing pokemon X, I'm now wondering the same with dialtown characters like Mingus, Roger or EVERYONE ELSE

I wrote an idea for a DT gym leaders + elite four roster for DT ages ago. Sure, I'll bite.

DT GYM LEADERS (in the order of when you face them with some pokemon from their own personal fully evolved teams):

Jerry (Normal): "Strategy? You ask me about fucking STRATEGY?! I have VERMIN Pokémon, you understand?! I should be glad the kids who challenge my gym aren't after my JOB. This is DEGRADING. They GAVE me these dirty birds and rats, ya understand? I didn't ASK for this damned type! So many SICK DOG POKÉMON." (Favourite move: Rest. Has a 2 teams of Stoutlands. I'm sure he has others too.)

Randy (Flying): "Well, my Pokémon are kinda like me. Fr-Fragile. So, my go-to strategy is to hit hard and as FAST as possible before my opponent can shatter my delicate bird team to smithereens! Mathematically, it's gotta be better to hit FIRST!

...Y-Y'know?" (Favourite move: Brave Bird, probably has a Pidgeot, Swanna, Cramorant, Crobat)

Oliver (Steel): "Yo! My pokémon are BUILT for ROBOT FIGHTS and they're made of METAL, so they're sturdy as SHIT. I usually just go nuts and go on an all-out offensive using the gnarly and expertly assembled movesets of yours truly! I'll get to throw everything I have at you while you can barely chip away at my pokémon's metallic armor! Watch OUT." (Favourite move: Heavy Slam, has a Steelix, Skarmory, Magnezone, Aggron)

Karen (Ground): "My pokémon are tanky and have diverse movesets. I utilize field moves. The rest of the world simply does NOT have what it takes to harness the true power of dirt-horse." (Favourite move: Fissure, has a Mudsdale, Dugtrio, Krookodile)

Bigfoot (Grass): [serene ape noises] (Favourite move, Cotton Guard. Has a Simisage, Rillaboom, Shiftry, Abomasnow)

Gingi (Poison): "these ones are the only pokémon out of the awful birds and rats and such that i dragged home that decided to stick around. they seem to enjoy me tent" (Favourite move: Gunk Shot. Has a Muk, Koffing, Garbodor)

God (Psychic): "Personally, I like creepy pokeymen. You know the kind I mean. Mr Mime, Hypno, those freaks. They're my PEOPLE. Why do I keep these strange beings around me? It's to psych you out, you see. All types have weaknesses, making the question of which type is best almost meaningless. So, why not pick Pokémon that deal psychic damage to your opponents? Aha! See? It's psychic-damage. Get it? Like the gym name. Frankly, I just have these guys on-hand because it means that I have a LOT less people showin' up at my gym. I really just see this job as an obligation. Hell, I'd rather be in bed right now. Cancellation is better than Obliteration, that's my motto! Anyway, got any Prize Money?" (Favourite Move: Dream Eater)

Mingus (Dark): "You FOOL. Do I have to SPELL IT OUT for you?! The key to success is simple: Pick a supreme type. Assemble a team of heavy-hitters. It's better if they blend into shadows easily. (I am a sinister person, to be clear!!!) Each of my Pokémon have diverse, punishing movesets which were carefully constructed to inflict status conditions and erode an opponent's stats in battle. Horrible Pokémon that will PUNISH you for daring to face me. If you wake me up in order to fight you at the stupid gym the Pokémon League Confederation FORCED ME to set up here at Town Hall, I WILL fucking END YOU." (Signature Move: She's being dead serious right now. I say cut your losses and see give the Orange league a try instead. She has a Liepard though. Of course.)

ELITE FOUR:

Stabby + Shooty (Bug): "Yeah, look, okay. Steel and dark slots were already taken when we applied to be a part of the league. We were GONNA ask for Ghost, or maybe Poison, but Mingus said we'd be a waste of an Elite Four slot and people would throw things at us if we had the expectations that a cooler type would carry. We didn't wanna get hassled, I mean, we're only here so Mingus can keep an eye on what's happening at the League..."

"So, we let her choose the bug type for us. Was she right to set us down this mediocre insect path? We'll be fucked if we know." "Hey, even if this insect stuff was all for nothin', it still wasn't a total waste. I had a rockin' good time out in the forest, collectin' bugs with my bro, and no cat can take that away from me!" "Bro…" (Favourite move: Megahorn. They have a Pinsir, Ariados, Scizor)

Billy (Fire): "I wanted dark, but the cat got to it first. So, I said to myself: "Okay, Puss Puss. You take the dark type and you see what happens. I'm going to make you WISH you'd let me have a large crow instead of a host of animals who were bred specifically for arson." (Signature move: Fire Blast, he has a Houndoom, Charizard, Darmanitan)

Norm (Rock): "All o' my critters are equipped to deal with anythin' that's thrown at us. We've got diverse movepools, emphasis on attack AND speed. Quick on the draw, ready fer anythin'. Solid like a rock." (Favourite move: Stone Edge (which always hits), has a Rhyperior, Aerodactyl, Archeops, Crustle, Tyranitar) CHAMPION:

Callum (Pre-erasure) (Dragon): "You're wondering which type to expect from the Pokémon League Champion? Why, I won't put my name to ANYTHING that isn't to the quality this here country DESERVES, no-siree! My administration's gonna give you nothin' but the BEST, folks! Why, that's right! There's REALLY no topping the Dragon type! Pokémon associated with stories of leadership and Revolution! All of my Pokemon specialize in hard-hitting and devastating attacks like Hyper Beam and Solar Beam, designed to obliterate would-be threats and act as a complete deterrent to any would-be challengers! Trust me: If I getcha, you're gonna FEEL it!" (Has a Haxorus, Hydreigon, Tyrantrum, Frapple)

Crown (Post-Erasure) (Ghost): "I-Is the war over yet? I can't get a signal-" (Favourite move: Destiny Bond) (Gengar, Chandelure, Cofagrius, Dusknoir)

[sparrows4bats]

Damian only shows his art to those he trusts for years.

His art is so deeply personal that he can't bear for it to be perceived, much less gifted to others.

Dick gets his first painting during his time as Damians Batman.

Steph gets hers after the bounce house.

Alfred commissions him so he has new art for the house. His favourite is a family portrait he keeps in his bedroom.

Duke gets gifted sketches of Signal and Gotham in the sunrise

Cass gets given beautiful moments of ballet dancers.

Bruce is given portraits of his parents.

Damian paints Tim's photographs.

Jason gets artfully designed bookmarks.

Barbara has lovely landscapes and shots of the city she protects from behind her desk.

Other get given bits and piece Damians thinks they might enjoy.

But Jon Kent has an almost constant supply and access to Damians doodles.

He is Damians' creativity buddy and sounding board. Damian draws manga and comics while Jon write stories for them.

There's only one sketchbook he doesn't get to see, the one Damian keeps locked in his desk.

Jon has asked before, but Damian always shuts him down, saying it's private, and Jon respects that even if he is curious. If the magical girl ocs were fine, what is in that particular book?

Until one day Damian is kidnapped, and he has to go through his room for clues to who took him, and even if he feels weird about it, he opens the forbidden sketchbook.

He is expecting secrets, trauma, and the parts of himself that Damian hates.

What he finds is hundreds of sketches of Jon himself.

Each one is so full of detail and so lovingly drawn that feels like he is being burned.

Every freckle is correct, Damian drew close ups of his dimples, and his scars.

Seeing himself through Damians eyes is so intimate it feels like holding his very heart.

So Jon puts the book back where he found it without the other bats noticing.

When they find and rescue Damian, Jon knows he has to tell him but how?

Jon thinks of the sketches he wasn't supposed to see, and something in him melts even while he drowns in guilt.

So one night he confronts Damian when he best friend asks him about colour palettes.

"I saw your secret sketchbook, and I am so sorry!" Jon shouts and braces himself for Damians' anger. It doesn't come.

"What?" Damian sounds scared, and that is so much worse.

"When you were missing your Dad and brothers made me go through your room! Day I'm so sorry!"

"Did they see it too?" Damian shrinks in on himself, and Jon wants to hug him so badly.

"No! I put it back straight after I realised what it was, I swear!"

Damian huffs and looks away.

"So you know?"

Jon gulps, "know what?"

"That I'm in love you." Damian looks for Jons reaction and seeing his face starts to get up to leave. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable Jonathan. I shall depart."

Jon grabs his arm. "No! Day don't leave! I'm sorry! I just need a second. Please."

Damian stops but doesn't turn around. "I do not want your pity."

"It's not pity! Damian, I love you! I have for years and I'm just sorry I saw before you were ready to show me!" Jon is getting desperate now. He can't lose Damian. He doesn't think he will survive it.

"Really? You're not just saying that to spare me?"

Jon is horrified and spins Damian to be able to see his face. "Damian, what the hell! Why would I lie about this?!"

Damian has tears in his eyes when he finally meets Jon gaze. "I don't know, it just feels impossible for you to love someone like me."

"It's impossible not to love you! Believe me, I tried! I was terrified it would destroy our friendship, and I wanted to have some of you even if it wasn't in the way I wanted."

Damian sighs and slowly kisses him. When he pulls back, he laughs a little.

"We are both idiots."

Jon grins and wipes the tear that manages to escape. "Yeah, we are, but at least we figured it out eventually. I love you, Damian. Truly and completely."

"I love you too." Then Damian kisses him again.

Jon has the sketch Damian draws of Jon asleep beside him the next morning framed.

[glitterfingers]

Started as a silly crush from twelve? Thirteen? years ago. These feelings have existed for more than a decade. I live a quick jeep away from where i last saw you. I still recall your face between my legs in the blue room that December morning. I'm not sorry I didn't stay when you asked, but I regret being scared out of my mind when you requested tulog muna tayo, huwag ka munang umalis. My regrets are few and far between but I'll admit i regret not staying. For you I admit I remain a staunch defender of being absolutely selfish with my heart. I would not have survived you if you lied and pretended to want me when you didn't. But i can live through this pining. Thanks for rejecting the hypothetical but sincere request, for not being an asshole and using me for your ego (the bar is in the lowest circle of hell). After all those years of denying it to myself, you remain a constant ache in my chest. I still dream about you once a year and am hit with obscene longing every time. It would be comical if I weren't so disgusted at how much i want. And I'm so frustrated because it's been four years since I've last talked to you and it's you that i want specifically and only you. The blue room is long gone. That morning exists only in my memories. I've known no peace since. Thought time away would make the desire fade but it only gave the yearning depth. I've tried I've been trying i continue to try to let it go, let the wanting of you go. I endure raw desperation and this version is somehow the most amusing to my other friends, but the worst to you and you're not the cause, i just wish it were easier for me to have been your friend without simultaneously craving you.

But my long term longing is in your shape and the color of your skin and the tattoos you let me bite and how the morning sun hit your eyes and how we made each other laugh and i miss you all the time. How are your parents. What did you think about Senshi's story from Dungeon Meshi. What obscure movie are you going to recommend me now. Let's debate on why you said Junji Ito was for normies. I'll give you some of my tea and you'll thank me. Your friends probably still love you, even though your lives have all evolved, just talk to them. Will you let me kiss you properly just one last time? Don't let me kiss you, i'll probably never want to let go. I still haven't, but I swear I've tried everything I know though. Or do let me. I dont know. I've loved a couple people since the last time i thought i was in love with you. Apparently i cannot framework myself out of desire (who knew), but I've pried away the excess. I can love people without wanting them in my life anymore. Tell your parents you love them before it's too late.

I send a quick prayer for you every year on your birthday, i stopped greeting you because you never sounded like you enjoyed any of it, but it doesn't matter, the prayer is for my benefit, i never forget. I wish i could.

I wanted you before I knew how to be your friend. Maybe now I am paying that price. I like to believe I'm a better friend and lover now too, but we owe each other nothing. I love you anyway. I know you're not happy, but I hope you're content. I hope one day I'll see you out and about and my heart will stop feeling like it'll explode at the sight of your face. I'm a good liar but i know i can't help but look at you with reverence. Is that why you always looked like you knew something i didn't? I wonder what you saw on my face those last few times. I never did know how to covet without sacrificing and carving out a part of myself, but whatever spell you have me on means I've gotten better at loving myself too. I am no longer unhinged by longing and regret and aching. Time and space away from you (and everyone else really) has taught me that i dont need to bleed to prove my capacity to love. That sometimes the best way to love someone is to leave them the fuck alone because it'll be the best for everyone involved.

I'll see you. Probably next year in my dreams again.

Dedicated to the girl who continues to haunt my dreams even though it's been years since we spoke.

erin morgenstern/richard siken/stick season - noah kahan/not a muse: the inner lives of women: a world poetru anthology; "mountain nights" - rati saxena, edited by kate rogers and viki holmes/unknown/ @2j/unknown/do I wanna know - arctic monkeys/dear friend, - dayglow/ @etherealarte/we should be well prepared - mary oliver

[sydwritess]

Groupchats with Y/n Pt. 3

F1 grid x fem!reader

Summary: texts in the F1 group chat with y/n

Notes: requests are open!

01 02 03 04 05

Y/n

Y'all OMG did you hear Brad Pittsburgh house got broken into 😱

Max's best friend

Yes, so sad.

Y/n

No, it's not

Max's best friend

Y/n.... have some compassion

Y/n

Suck it Mercedes

Bearman #1

Did you guys get the bill from last night? I want to pay you back.

Charlie

Well shit

Lanlikesfish

Uh.....

Max's best friend

Fuck

Y/n

Bill..?

Bearman #1

Yeah, the dinner bill... from last night. We had a group dinner with all the drivers and some others

Maxine ✨️

Stupid move mate

Y/n

Oh... I bet it was nice. How fun 🙂

Lanlikesfish

Really... stupid.

Y/n

DON'T CALL OLLIE STUPID. HE DID NOTHING WRONG YOU PRICKS.

Bearman #1

Thanks y/n

Y/n

❤️❤️

Pastry🥐

It was kind of a.... team thing.

Y/n

Oh really? But Kelly went?

Maxine✨️

Are you okay?

Y/n

Just fine 🙂

Maxine✨️

Okay

------------------------------------

GC without y/n:

Ollie

Do you think she's mad?

George

She's mad.

Lando

Big time

Charles

I told you guys to fucking invite her and you didn't listen! Of course she'd be fucking mad!

Lando

Sorry

Lewis

I agree with Charles. She deserved to come. Driver or not. I mean... sorry to say, but Kelly came. It would have only been fair.

Kimi

What happened if you don't mind me asking

Charles

Yesterday was the anniversary of her that terrible car crash she was in a few years back.

Yuki

Car crash?

Lewis

Yeah. Her ex and her were in the car on the highway. Her ex was mad at her (for literally nothing), and he was driving so fast around a turn that they tumbled. Rolling over multiple times. He got away with a couple of scars while she was passed out in the car. It took a couple of days for her to wake...

Kimi

Wow, so he just... left her there?

Charles

Yes. Unfortunately. He was a pretty selfish boy. Left her there to die, basically. He went to jail, though, for attempted murder.

Ollie

Wow, that's unbelievable

Lando

Lol. Boy. Not man. I get that one

Max

Look. I feel bad but why is she blaming Kelly?

Alex

Well I mean Oscar did say it was a team thing. Kelly really isn't a part of the team. She just watches the races. Sometimes

Max

But still, she's my wife.

Alex

But y/n does a lot to. She supports all of the teams, she photographs them, she sponsors them, she is part of the team

Max

Whatever I have to go

George

Alex isn't wrong...

Carlos

Me and Becky can take her out tonight... we're going to the new Italian place in monaco.

Lewis

Maybe I can talk to her.

Oscar

She probably knows we're talking behind her back already with this gc.

Charles

How?

Oscar

She legit just texted me saying 'I know you have a separate gc to talk about me'

Lando

Haha. She's smart.

------------------------------------

GC with y/n:

Charlie

So... have you guys seem that big boat in the town Harbour? In monaco. It's nice.

Lanlikesfish

Yeahh I want to steal it 😈

Carlos

What the hell?

Alexandria

Y/n, between our next race I'm doing a cooking video, do you want to join?

Max's best friend

That sounds fun

Kimi Kardashian

Can I join?

Alexandria

Sure kimi.

Lanlikesfish

Y/n?

Pastry 🥐

Is she even in here anymore?

Yuki

Dude

Pastry 🥐

You're the ones who upset her. Not me.

Riccardio

I think y/n needs to play some golf with me. It's fun.

Lanlikesfish

Take your retired ass to the nursing home 😂

Y/n

That sounds fun Alex thanks

Alex

For sure 😊

Maxine ✨️

Anyway....

Y/n

Daniel. Of course I'll play golf with you. And maybe we can invite Max so I can drive him around with the golf cart and crash him into a tree:)

Maxine ✨️

What?

Roscoe's dad

Not funny y/n

Y/n

Hm? I didn't say anything funny

Max's best friend

This is all fine and all but CAN YOU PLEASE CHANGE MY NAME

Y/n

Here's a word you prob never heard ✨️no✨️

Y/n changed Maxine ✨️ to I love George sm

I love George sm

Hey what the fuck!

Max's best friend

HAHAHAHAHA

Lanlikesfish

HAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Y/n

ANYWAY who wants to go golfing with the best (aka me)

Lanlikesfish

ME ME ME ME ME ME

I love George sm

Not me.

Y/n

Good cuz you weren't invited

I love George sm

whatever

Y/n

L - L - Loser..... Have fun, red bull.

Roscoe's dad

Y/n... maybe we should be politer

Y/n

I'm happy the way I am. I don't want to mature - Lando Norris

Lanlikesfish

YES QUEEN

Carlos 🌶

SLAYYYYYY

Y/n

Here's me showing you I'm the best

Lanlikesfish

??

Y/n

🏑.............................................. ⛳️

Hole in one. Mate.

Riccardio

Y/n that's like a hockey puck thing

Y/n

I DONT HAVE THAT GOLB CLUB EMOJI DONT COME AFTER ME ✋️✋️✋️✋️✋️

Y/n changed Lanlikesfish to Sir Lando the great

Sir Lando the great

YESSS, I officially made it on the nice list!!

Carlos 🌶

Don't change my name, please. I like the Chile pepper. It reminds me of how ✨️spicy✨️ I am.

Y/n

Hahahahahaha oh my god 😂

Max's best friend

PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU TO CHANGE MY NAME.

Y/n

..........................................................................✨️no✨️

Kimi Kardashian

Guys why is it so hot out?

Y/n

Where?

Kimi Kardashian

Australia

Y/n

Oop. You better watch out for the godzilla spiders they have there.

Kimi Kardashian

No...

Y/n

OH YEAH... bigger than your hand probably

Max's best friend

Y/n please don't scare my teammate.

Y/n

He's okay. I'm sure someone will be there for him

Max's best friend

Oh, lord.

Hey loves! Pt. 3 is here! Got some slight events going on! Comment to be added to the tag list! Requests are open!

Tag list:

@mimisweetz @latay7

[forsaken-headcanons]

Winged 007n7 propaganda, he gives Goose vibes.

Anywaya, uhh okay this is a hc thats like totally shifted over from my time in the Transformers fandom, but winged robloxians have a sort of sign language with their wings.

I'm calling it wing cant just for the sake of continuity and because the same thing as Seeker wing cant.

Anyways, avian robloxians could like flare their feathers and dip one wing and half spread the other to communicate an extra emotion or idea. Wing cant isn't really made for full conversations, more like a tonal device, but it can be used in RSL (Robloxian sign language) as a replacement or accent for facial expressions.

007n7 sucks ass at wing cant, btw. He just never understood it, even when he was younger. The small details of some spread flight feathers vs. flared frathers in general just never clicked, and so he never bonded properly with other avians, probably leaving him flockless untill he found noli.

Noli is wingless as are most Robloxians, but going to college was the first time 007n7 had met any non-avian Robloxians and he thrived. People understood him better, and didnt get offended at a mistaken movement in his wings.

He was happier.

:]]

Also like, Coolkidd definitely has so much Avian culture in his life, even being wingless, because 007n7 just wanted his baby boy to experience his culture, even if they werent related by blood.

Imagine

Okay

Wait, imagine that when 007n7 got Forsakened the Spectre cut off his wings :3 Imagine he has all these avian instincts and nothing to direct them towards. His brain would be screaming at him to preen but theres nothing to preen and so he just slowly spirals as his brain starts to tweak out more and more.

Ooohh and the phantom pains too? I imagine his first 30 ish rounds were hell as he re adjusted his new centre of mass while also trying not to die.

OHH OH IMAGINE part of the way to acess the c00lgui has to do with like some movement in his wings, just as like a keyboard shortcut for /unanchor or whatever and since his wings are gone thats why he can only clone and teleport with the GUI.

Anywayysss I love Avian aus and I love birds even more :33

-02 Anon

WAIT. AVIAN SHEDLETSKY. OKAY. BUILDERMAN WHO'S NORMALLY THERE TO HELP HIM OUT. OKAY. IMAGINE. THERE'S A ROUND GOIN ON, SHEDLETSKY HAS THE URGE TO PREEN BUT HE NEEDS HELP, BUT BUILDERMAN GOT TARGETED FIRST AND THERE'S NOBODY TO HELP. LO AND BEHOLD A 007N7 CURRENTLY TWEAKING OUT BECAUSE HIS BRAIN WANTS TO PREEN.

(in all caps: wait. avian shedletsky. okay. builderman who's normally there to help him out. okay. imagine. there's a round goin on, shedletsky has the urge to preen but he needs help. but builderman got targeted first and there's nobody to help. lo and behold a 007n7currently tweaking out because his brain wants to preen.)

7n7 sees shedletsky struggling to reach his feathers. he stops and thinks several times but ends up muttering out if he could help and shedletsky driven by avian urge hesitates but nods anyway

fast forward to the future and now shedletsky has a proper avian buddy who knows how to preen and builderman doesn't have to deal with his bullshit anymore /silly. OGUHJ YOUR HC IS PEAK WE'RE YOINKING IT SORRY HEHAJGSD

[redandgreyscale]

Evan apologizes one day out of nowhere, and Barty is confused as hell.

"why are you saying sorry?" He asks looking at the boy like he just grew a second head.

"sometimes I feel worse than others for not having sex with you" he explains.

"oh none of that, we've talked about it, I have a hand and plenty of alone time, don't think I'm under attended or something because I promise you I'm fine" Barty says it easily, it's the truth after all, but Evan goes blank for a moment and then he's flushing and looking away and Barty is suddenly more intrigued.

"You— Okay, yeah, I didn't— didn't think of that"

This is fascinating. How the hell did he make Evan stutter? Evan doesn't stutter, doesn't flush. Barty mentions jerking off and that is what happens? This is an amazing discovery and he's going to have a lot of fun with it.

"do you want to know more or know less?" He asks with a grin, Evan might just turn around from how much he's trying not to look at him.

"I... I don't know" Barty's smile grows and he gets closer, his hands coming to Evan's waist, his lips grazing the dark skin of his neck from behind.

"do you want to know how many times a day? How many times a week? What I think about? It's you, it's always you baby"

Evan may not like sex, but he likes a whole lot of other things. He likes kissing and teasing and playing, they established early on the relarionship that none of that would lead to something more. Barty loves everything Evan is willing to give him.

It's Evan who gets Barty all worked up most times, only for him to go find some release in the privacy of a bathroom.

This time it seems to go the other way around, Evan lets out a shuddering breath and even from where he's standing, Barty can see a bulge growing on his pants. It takes a second, and then Evan pulls away completely.

"Enough, I— Stop" he murmurs breathless, so Barty stops, takes a step back.

"Are you okay?" Barty asks just to make sure. They've talked about things, and teasing like this is something Evan feels comfortable with most times.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good" Evan is still trying to even his breathing but at least now he's looking at him "I just don't like the part where my body does... This" he vaguely gestures at his crotch like it's betraying him.

"Did I read the situation wrong?" Barty asks once more, scared of having gone too far without noticing.

"No, no, it was good, we're good" he sounds sincere, and Barty believes him.

"good" he repeats back, Evan still looks mildly uncomfortable, not too sure what to do now "wanna know something?" He grins staring at him. Evan nods confused. "I'm definitely jerking off to this tonight" he wiggles his brows and Evan laughs, soft and sweet and everything is fine again. Yeah, they're good.

"you're a menace"

[mentalbreakdownsarenormal]

"The carefree shamelessness of a kid." That... entirely recontextualizes her relationship with Lancer in chapter 1, doesn't it.

(Long rant about the two under the cut)

I mean, consider what chapter 1 must have been like for her. The human freak she hates has just caught her eating school property, and if they report it it'd be the last straw that gets her expelled. Considering what she said to them in The_Newist_Girl post, they will probably do so immediately and remorselessly. It is only because of their mother and her kindness towards her that she doesn't cause a major incident on the spot. She begrudgingly agrees to just get some more chalk and head back to class.

(She also drops the line "If you haven't gotten it by now... Your choices don't matter" which uh. Speaking of internalization.)

Of course, it isn't that simple. The closet is both impossibly dark and impossibly big. And when the two of them go to leave, the door is slammed in her face and locked. The floor collapses under her and she falls through. The drop is impossibly far.

She wakes up in a new world that does not make sense. The first person (barring the freak) she sees starts shooting at the two of them. She finds an entire abandoned town, complete with a castle. And, perhaps the strangest thing of all, she meets a hooded figure who tells her about a prophecy. One she is a part of.

One that calls her a hero.

She doesn't believe it. When asked to accept her destiny as one of the Delta Warriors, she refuses. The hooded guy is knocked away by a kid on a bike. And he's the first person to finally give her a clear answer when she asks a question.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm... The Bad Guy!"

This is the first and only thing she has understood in the last few hours. He's a bad guy. He's getting in her way. Someone's getting beat up. After the fight, two facts make themselves clear. One, she needs to go east. Two, people are gonna try and stop her.

So she goes, alone, and makes herself a menace of the enemies. Beats them up, steals their stuff, and other sorts of things you would do in a normal RPG. That's what the enemies are for, after all. Why would she be nice to someone trying to kill her. Eventually, she's blocked by a door she can't open alone until the other nerds show up. She needs to follow them, but like hell she's actually gonna help them or change her behavior at all. There's no point. Kris and Ralsei are good and she's bad. They fell right into their roles, being all nice and stuff, but she's not like them. She can't think of anything good to say about someone trying to kill them like they can. She isn't delicate. She isn't skilled at anything. But she can smash things. And so smash things she shall. Just like she always has, and just like she always will. Don't know why anyone's expecting anything else.

She won't, she can't grow as a person like they can, not now not ever.

Susie's arc where she grows as a person begins after two rooms. It's the scene where Lancer mistakes Susie trying to intimidate him as advice on how to be scary and thanks her for it. His praise surprises her and having someone who appreciates her motivates her to become better. That's the basic reading anyway. But in hindsight...

Lancer is a child. A young child. Why? Lancer's age, for the most part, is irrelevant to his character. If you wanted him to parallel Susie, why not write him to be the same age as everyone else? How does the relationship between the two of them benefit from Susie needing to babysit the kid half the time they hang out?

She's his mentor. The one she never had herself. Lancer is bad at being scary. His evil laugh sounds like a baby Santa Claus. He has no idea what he's doing, he's just trying to be "scary and badass" like his dad. And it just so happens being scary is one of the few things Susie knows how to be "good" at. And with that in mind, Susie's words suddenly take on a whole new meaning.

Susie interrupts with a single word. "Stop." What Susie says next, about wannabe tough guys and bitten faces isn't her trying to scare him. It's her trying to crush him. The same way she was when she tried to play. You need to stop because you're bad, now here's someone who can do it better. But unlike back then, the person who told the kid to stop was the better person. The kid got the chance to see it be done properly and was told what exactly needed improvement.

And the next time they meet, Lancer acts far more intimidating. He's still not good, to be sure, but he did improve. He then immediately asks for feedback to try to improve more. He doesn't even have guys, he just wanted to practice.

And this shatters Susie's world view. This kid, this young, carefree kid who's just playing around improves. The kid who's the only person around she could understand or relate to, the kid who introduced himself as "the bad guy" *improved*. Whatever was wrong with this kid that made him a bad guy, that made him an outcast, didn't end up mattering. The support around him did.

In the very same scene Lancer shows improvement, he realizes your team doesn't have a name. To fix this, he asks everyone to drop a name in his bucket to be randomly selected. Kris doesn't and they "look like they don't care." But Susie does add a name. She might not put a lot of effort into it, but she plays along. Susie, who walked through puzzles, who disobeyed commands, who left the party behind, who repeatedly complains about you being slow, who refused help stop the very world from ending, put a name in the bucket.

And in every following scene the two are together, she encourages everything he does.

She expected to be able to play it because she was. She wasn't trying to be good: she liked the piano and she wanted to play it, so she did. Playing for the sake of playing with the carefree shamelessness of a kid.

But because someone thought she was "bad", they told her to stop. It's a role she's been assigned all her life. Without explanation, without justification, without fault, something as inherent to her as her voice, her claws, her skin.

So she internalized it. "Good" must be a role too, right? No one's ever cared enough to teach her about practice or training or perseverance. "Good" is something Susie would simply never get to be.

[anyarose011]

Born Too Late III: "It Ain't Me, Babe"

Pairing: DBF!Michael 'Robby' Robinavitch x Reader

Summary: You're not out of the woods even after your roommate's crazy ex-boyfriend beat you to a pulp. Over a series of setbacks pushing you to the brink of several panic attacks (or is it just one really long one?), you still manage to find refuge in a few, safe people. But, in the words of Doechii "And just when it couldn't get worse", the worst possible person finds out about you and Robby...

Part 3 of 3 (Masterlist)

Warning(s): Past Physical Assault, Blood, Inevitable Medical Inacuracies, Allusion/Mention of Sexual Assault, ANGST, Trent and Kimi, Reader has valid crashout(s), Healing of Daddy Issues?, Rant about a Real Criminology Concept, and a Realistic but Open-Ending.

I do have to say that this was one of my favorite stories to write on here. Not even for the purpose of Robby x Reader, I just loved the dynamics of all the characters and plot overall. I truly hope that the ending doesn't seem like a cop out; my intention was to write it as real as possible, especially since this all took place in one day. I'm tempted to write a prequel to this, showing all of the "missing scenes" alluded to throughout the story with Robby. We'll see how I feel lol. Thank you guys for ALL your interest, and hope you enjoy the ending! Sorry not sorry about the length, I yap 😭

Word Count: 9.2k

There were people you knew who had resting bitch faces. Dennis Whitaker was the first person you met to have a resting scared face.

That, and it was also because he asked you if you were okay, and you didn’t say anything.

He called your name. “Are you okay?”

Your mouth trembled as you tried to find the words. What left your lips must have been from the depths of your subconscious.

“Where-where’s my dad?”

You were outside of your body, but you couldn’t even see yourself. Hell, you didn’t feel like yourself.

Whitaker furrowed his brow. “Your…your dad?”

All you could do was nod.

“I’m not sure.” He responded gently. “Can I take your hand?”

You nodded, swallowing thickly. You wanted to cry, but you didn’t know why you couldn’t. Whitaker took your hand, leading you alongside him.

“I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in a bit; I know things have been crazy.” He smiled reassuringly.

“It’s okay.” You whispered.

“Have you eaten anything besides chocolate today?”

You shook your head. “Have you?”

“No.” He laughed. “We can go get something from one of the vending machines in the break room.”

“I want to go home.”

God, could you sound even more like a sniveling child?

Whitaker stopped just a few feet away from the elevator and so did you. He got a better look at you; either that, or he was finally saying everything he first noticed when he ran into you.

 “What happened to your nose?” He asked gently. “It’s kinda swollen.”

“I don’t know.”

Why did you say that so swiftly?

He frowned. “Were you crying just now? I think some of your mascara got onto your cheeks.”

Instinctively, you wiped your face with your free hand as if you would find any residue. You shook your head.

“It’s nothing.”

Whitaker took a deep breath, lowering his voice and saying your name. “I’m going to be honest, I think you should get checked out by someone here. It doesn’t have to be me, but I think something bad happened to you. You don’t have to tell me-.”

“-I’m fine.”

“But please, let me help you.”

It felt wrong, how he wanted to. No, it was his job to do that; there’s no way someone could see right through you when you were actually not doing well. You had relationships (friendships and romantic) where you had to earn the privilege of people caring for you.

You’d gotten used to it. Mainly with Kimi but also others who you thought were safe.

It felt like your skin was burning, and it was only then you realized you were still holding his hand. So, you dropped it.

“Thank you,” you felt like a puppet on strings as your mouth moved. “but really I’m fine.”

“Did you drive here?”

He wasn’t giving up.

“Yes.” You sighed. “I know what you’re doing, I can-.”

“-One of the guys on the night shift got here early and discharged me.” He interrupted, yet somehow, you weren’t annoyed. “We can go get your stuff and then get dinner. Anywhere you want, my treat. I mean, as long as it’s not like over a hundred bucks or something.”

You wondered if he was smiling out of nerves or trying to cheer you up. In your experience, it was usually both.

“I’ll drive.” You stated.

He thinned his lips. “You had a rough day; I can do it.”

You snorted. “So, if you’re driving my car, how are you getting home?”

“I’ll call an Uber.”

Usually, you would’ve made a joke about his male privilege and being so carefree about taking an Uber home late at night, but circumstances didn’t allow you to. Still, as if it hadn’t been one of the worst days of your life, a watery smile pulled onto your lips.

The ‘ding!’ of the elevator beside you made your head turn, and the doors slid open. Standing there, was Trent, seething. Blood coursed down from his nose to his chin, and where you once saw nothing behind his eyes, they were now filled with the rage you knew all too well.

You met his gaze the same time your soul left your body.

“You fucking bitch!” He charged you.

It happened all so fast.

Trent was just a hair away from you one moment, the next, Whitaker flung you behind him. You landed onto the ground, and when you looked up, you saw Whitaker go face first onto the floor beside you.

Crying in horror, you grabbed onto a nearby cart and pulled yourself onto your feet. Everything playing in your ears was simply noise; people were yelling and screaming, but you couldn’t make out a word they were saying.

It was only your eyes you could trust.

If they did not deceive you, you watched Jack Abbott tackle Trent to the ground; the first one to do so…When did he get there?

And, it was then that your vision began to blur as tears clouded your sight, that part of your hearing returned. As you stood there, with Jack holding Trent down, for verbatim, you heard.

“Did you get off my little girl when she told you to?!”

Someone wrapped their arm around your shoulders, turning you away, but something in your body told you that they were safe. You could barely see anything as you were led through the ER; only hazy objects and blaring lights. Someone was talking in your ear too, but again, it was just all noise upon the noise coming from the catastrophe behind you.

 You hadn’t even realized you were clinging to the person like a buoy in an ocean you were stranded in until you heard a door slide shut behind you. Like a miracle, your vision started clearing up, and air entered through your nose and into your lungs.

Then, the taste of blood on your tongue.

You touched your nose, pulling your hands away to see them coated in red.

Melissa King gently called your name, placing her hand on your back.

“You should sit down.” She moved away from you to dim the lights, and your eyes caught sight of one Heather Collins in the room as well, prepping one of the beds.

Somehow, just at the sight of a medical bed, did you finally realize how much everything hurt.

Yet, you couldn’t rest.

The little girl, practically a baby, the one who got stung by a bee, you had to make sure she was okay, you had to-!

Collins rested her hands on your shoulders, stopping you. “It’s okay. Robby checked on her a minute ago, she’s fine. You need to sit down.”

Did you say all of that aloud? Could she read your mind? Oh God, if she could, then does she know-?!

“-Holy fucking shit!” Santos opened the door, and you never knew her face could morph into such fear. “Are you okay?”

You shook your head. “Is Dennis okay?!”

He threw himself in front of you and was fucking pummeled to the floor!

Santos looked out the door before looking back. “I’m gonna be honest, his nose kinda looks messed up. But hey, you’re twinning.”

“Santos!” Collins scolded.

“Right, you’re right.” She nodded. “I’m so sorry I-.”

“-I heard you had a spinal tap to do.” Collins interrupted.

“I’ll go.” Santos gave one last look to you. “I’ll talk to you later, I swear.”

And then she left. It wasn’t the strangest, nor the quickest, interaction you had with someone…but fucking hell, this day.

Mel said your name again, but this time, strained. You looked at her and saw her gaze downwards at your pants. Following it, you saw blood seeping through the fabric around your groin.

Your jaw trembled as you looked back up at both her and Collins. As professionals, you knew they had seen worse than this. As women, you could see that familiar look of horror on their faces.

“He didn’t do anything.” Were your first words. “Not like that.”

“Baby…” Collins uttered.

“No, no,” You resisted. “I’m on my period! I-I-Mel, you gave me a pad this morning. I got him off me and-and I got it out and put it in his face so he’d stay off. I-I-I mean he bragged about pulling a girl’s tampon out of his mouth one time, so I didn’t think he’d overreact.”

What were you even saying?!

“I’ve had sex before! I-I would know, I would know if that bastard did something to me and-and-!” You hiccupped, feeling more blood seep through your nose and into your mouth.

“It’s okay,” Collins soothed. “we believe you. Can you sit down so I can assess you?”

What other choice did you have?

Sitting on the edge of the bed, you tried to catch the blood still gushing out of your nose before it could get on more of your clothes. Too late for that.

Mel went to one of the drawers nearby as Collins held up her finger. “Follow it.”

You did; passed with flying colors.

“EOM is intact.” She told herself, then took a mini flashlight from her pocket, shining it in your eyes. “Pupils are reactive. Do you have a headache?”

“Kinda.”

“Does it hurt to breathe through your nose?”

“Weird, but doesn’t hurt.”

Mel came beside you with a handful of tissues and a nasal tampon. “I’m going to clean up the area around your nose, and this should pack the bleeding.”

You hummed. “You got one for me to put between my legs?”

She shook her head.

“Extra pants?”

Collins slipped off her sweatshirt, draping it over your legs. “I got some in my locker, plus a pad.”

You nodded, getting choked up. “Thank you.”

“Mel,” she looked at her. “could you finish up?”

She affirmed. “Of course.”

“I’ll grab some icepacks.”

Collins left, leaving you alone with Mel. It felt strange; both your body and the entire day. Still, Mel wasn’t one to dwell on it, unlike you.

She brought the tissues up to your nose. “Your gonna feel some pressure.”

You grunted as she placed the Kleenex onto your nostrils. The white tissues turned red, and she carefully slid the tampon into your left nostril. Apparently, that was the only one bleeding.

Mel placed her thumbs on your face. “Tell me when you feel pressure.”

They traveled up around the area of your nose, and it was only when she touched the septum did you hiss in pain. Mel walked back over to the drawer, then taking out a few wet wipes.

“Well,” she hunched over, cleaning the blood off of you as gently as she could. “it’s not misshapen, so that’s good. It’s not broken either. Swollen and bruised, but all you really need are icepacks and I could get you some pain medication.”

“Could you take pictures?” You asked out of the blue.

 “I’m sorry?”

“Police usually take pictures of injuries for evidence, but could you?” You explained. “I just want to get it out of the way.”

Mel nodded. “Yeah, of course. Is it just your nose?”

You sighed. “No. It might be my head, I don’t know. He kicked me in the ribs…I think…yes, he did.”

“If you feel comfortable, would you want me to take pictures of those too?”

“Yes.” You said with certainty.

She backed up enough to give you space, taking out her phone. You decided to start with your ribs. They were tender, but thankfully, it wasn’t impossible to pull your shirt up. After Mel took a picture, you pulled it back down and she took a few photos of your nose and head.

“This is the worst photoshoot I’ve ever been in.” You joked.

“I’ve never been in one.” She stated.

“Let’s change that when the weather’s better.”

“Alright.” She put her phone away. “Now-.”

The door slid open, and in came Kimi like a bat out of hell.

“-What the hell did he do to you?!” She approached you.

Mel placed her hand on her shoulder. “You can’t be in here-.”

“-Fuck you, she’s my roommate.” She kneeled in front of you. “Baby, what happened?”

You hadn’t realized there was a long list of people you didn’t want to see at that moment, and she was near the top. You looked away, scowling and slipping the tampon out of your nose. Luckily, the blood finally stopped.

She didn’t take that as you being angry with her. She huffed. “Motherfucker. What’d you say to him?”

You finally looked at her. “What?”

“I’m just asking.” She explained. “He’s never done this before when I was a bitch, so you probably pissed him off-.”

You laughed. “-You’re an idiot.”

Kimi’s eyes shifted. At first, she was confused, then it quickly seeped into appalment. “What do you mean?”

You fell into a fit of giggles like Alice did down the rabbit hole. “I have told you hundreds, thousands, of times that whenever Trent hit something near you or me, then he actually wanted to hit one of us!”

Standing up, you weren’t laughing now. “And my God, I have never met someone who hates themselves so much, they bring a baby into the world for validation. But no, no, no, they’re not expecting to get it from the kid, they’re so fucking stupid they still think they’ll get it from the dad!”

The door slid open gently, and Collins came back in, carrying the pants, a single pad, and an ice pack. She said nothing.

Kimi didn’t lash out, and that’s what terrified you. Tears flew down her cheeks as you yelled at her, but she took a deep breath once you were finished.

“So, what should I do? Fuck my fifty-year-old boss?” She huffed. “How’s that working out for you?”

She marched out of the room, past Collins.

A part of you wished that Trent had killed you in the bathroom; you couldn’t feel shame if you were dead.

If not that, then you wished he somehow blinded you; just so that you wouldn’t have to see the way Heather Collins’s face dropped at the revelation.

Those two seconds in that room were brutal after Kimi left. Just where your gaze could only fall to the floor, and you didn’t even want to imagine the looks Mel and Collins were giving each other; or you.

“She has whiplash.” Collins said. “She can’t leave alone unless she signs an AMA.”

Just like that, you felt Mel hover her hand over your shoulder before retracting it and rushing out of the room. You stood there like a child who had just been yelled at, and didn’t dare to even breathe.

“How about we put these on?”

And Heather spoke to you like you were still one, but not with any hint of disdain in her voice. Hesitantly, you looked up and saw her holding the pants out to you. With shaking hands, you took them in yours.

She picked up her sweatshirt from the floor. “I’ll cover you. You can turn around if that makes you more comfortable.”

You nodded, and she draped the sweatshirt in front of you, giving you privacy from any peering eyes outside. Slowly, after getting your pants down to your knees, you slipped your underwear down; your ribs aching with every move. You managed to secure the pad, and as you tried to pull your pants all the way down, the sharpness in your side forced a hiss out of you.

“You need help?” She asked.

You shook your head immediately but seethed and clutched your ribs when you tried again. Collins set her sweatshirt aside, placing a comforting hand on your back and dropping down.

“I got it.”

She helped you out of your bloodied pants, and you placed your hands on her shoulders as you put one leg into each hole of the pants she got for you. Your eyes watered at the familiar feeling; how old were you the last time you did this? Seven? It’s so strange to remember such a small thing as your mother dressing you, not knowing when it would be the last time.

“There we go.” Collins smiled, standing back up, then guiding you to sit back down on the bed.

“I’m sorry.” You finally managed to say, even if it was barely above a whisper.

She shook her head, handing you an ice pack. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

She hates you. You told yourself.

You saw Kiara come to the door, and your heart leapt into your chest. She waited as Collins cracked it open, and they talked in hushed tones. In the end, Kiara came in and she sat at your side.

You had to cross your arms to keep yourself from throwing them around her. You doubt she would’ve cared, but it was strange; at that moment, you wanted to be held, but still would’ve felt like you were suffocating.

“Hey.” She greeted gently.

“Where is he?” You asked.

 “Well,” she began, not knowing exactly who you were asking for. “Whittaker’s being checked on, and he won’t stop asking if you’re alright. Trent was secured in a room, but the police just arrived so he’s in custody now. They want to talk to you, is that okay?”

You nodded. “If it’s a fucking man, I’m leaving.”

“There’s a woman.” She comforted. “She already volunteered to speak with you. At any point, if you want to stop-.”

“-I won’t.”

She said your name, warning but not to scare you. “I know you want justice; we all do. Still, you have to do what is best for you in the moment. You have every right to react the way you need to. Do you want Dr. Collins to be in here?”

You shook your head.

“Alright.” Kiara looked at her. “Could you send in officer Moreno, please?”

Collins nodded. “I’ll be back to check on you.”

Before you could say that her shift was over, she left. There you sat with Kiara, staring at an empty corner of the room. Without thinking, you laid your head on her shoulder. She said nothing; just ran her hand up and down your back as the officer came in.

It was different being the one to tell the police what happened to you. You were either in the cop’s position asking questions, or Kiara’s, just being a support for the other person.

Officer Moreno was nice enough. She never pushed you, but she wasn’t exactly comforting either. You understood she just wanted everything to write a report for, but you knew this wouldn’t be the last person you’d have to talk to.

The more you spoke about what happened to you in the last fifteen minutes (fuck…was that all it’d been?), the heavier your body became. You didn’t even feel a hint of fear or sadness within you; just the aching in your nose, and the exhaustion that swept over you.

Officer Moreno asked to take photos of your injuries, and you told her you’d taken them already, saying you’d give them to her.

“You’re efficient.” She complimented.

I have to be; you wouldn’t do anything if I wasn’t. You said in your head, but aloud you uttered. “Thanks.”

She left you with a phone number to send pictures to the police, a case number if you “remember anything else”, and a “Goodnight.”

That left you and Kiara together.

“Where’s Kimi?” You asked.

“She was calling her mom to pick her up last time I checked.” She answered. “Do you need a ride home?”

You shook your head. “I’ll get my dad to.”

“Dr. Abbott’s on call right now.”

Of course she knows.

“I can do it.” She offered.

“Kiara.” You said. “I’ll call a friend from my building.”

“I just want you to get home safe.”

“I will.” You smiled. “You’ve been here longer today. Go home.”

She sighed, standing. “You’re not coming in tomorrow. I’ll get Zidan to escort you out if you do.”

You forgot who that was for a moment, until you remembered him as the security guard. You were going to have to make him cookies or something; he probably had to deal with not just Trent, but a million other people.

Kiara said goodbye, giving you one last look before leaving. Just as you stood up to escape, Collins came back inside, carrying your purse and lunchbox.

“I’m sorry, I got the code from Jack.” She set them down. “How’re you feeling?”

You don’t know why, you had been asked that damn question countless times that day, but Collins asking it was the final nail in the coffin. Hours of repressed tears finally escaped your eyes, and you covered your mouth.

She immediately placed her hands on your arms, looking over you. “Are you in pain?”

“I’m sorry.” You hiccupped, rubbing your eyes.

“There’s nothing to-.”

“-Yes, there is!” You sobbed, and everything came out like a confession in a Catholic church. “I-I didn’t know you and Robby were together. I-I didn’t even know that he’d be a supervisor, or-or that I’d work with him, or even-or even that…”

Collins wrapped her arms around you, and you hid your head in her shoulder. She shushed. “I’m not mad.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No,” she pulled away, still holding onto you. “I’m not.”

You searched her face. You couldn’t find a hint of anger, but you knew she had to have felt something towards you. “Weren’t-weren’t you together…?”

“Not for a long time.” She shook her head.

You rubbed your face with your sleeve; you had cried all of your mascara off. Sighing, you picked up your belongings.

“I’ll wash your pants. Thanks.”

She laid a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Just wait a little bit.”

“You’re done with your shift, I’m done with mine.” You shrugged her off. “I’ll call a friend, I won’t drive.”

Except you would.

Collins said your name, and you only wished her goodnight, walking out the door. It was a miracle no one was instantly surrounding you, asking for answers to questions you had no energy to even listen to. You were making your way to the door to Chairs when-.

Your name left your stepfather’s mouth. You glanced to the side and saw him making a beeline towards you from across the room. Without any uncertainty, you turned around and walked back where you came from.

Like a demon in the night, you felt panic fester within you once again, just when you thought it was all over. You weren’t running, but your legs began to burn alongside your chest as you tried to find the nearest exit.

You pushed your way outside and found yourself in the ambulance bay. Still, despite there being only two paramedics and one security guard, there were still too many people. Your vision blurred once again, and you limped against the wall until you found the small opening to the alleyway.

Collapsing against the brick wall, you dropped everything you were holding and hid your eyes in your hands.

And you cried; really, truly cried.

Then crying turned into sobbing, then to weeping, then into you having to cover your mouth as you started wailing. You didn’t know when the walls of the alleyway started closing in on you, and neither did you know if it was your own shame or the walls crushing you to the point where it hurt to breathe.

You couldn’t even think. Every time you panicked, the weight of the world and all of your actions came into your head like a horrible flicker. Not now; no, there was nothing but white, hot pain.

“Put your head between your legs.”

They were just words. You couldn’t recognize the voice, but you listened. Knees bent, you bowed your head.

“Breathe.” The voice said, and it sounded deeper. “In and out. In and out.”

You did. The countless times you had to coach someone through an anxiety attack coming back to you.

It must’ve been another minute before you could feel your heart slow down and hear the ordinary sounds of the night; a pleasant mix of the bugs on the ground beside you, and a near-distant ringing of an ambulance.

“Rough day?”

It was Robby. That was the voice who had guided you through the second panic attack that day…or was it your third? Or had you just been in one that lasted a full half-hour?

You laughed upon looking at him, shaking your head and drying your eyes.

He offered a pitiful smile. “That bad?”

“Yeah.” You heaved. “Does this mean I’m doing a good job at coping if I’m laughing?”

Robby shrugged. “If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.”

“I’ve done too much of that today.”

He nodded, not saying anything. You rested your head against the brick wall. Maybe it was better that you saw him after all the shit that hit you in such a short amount of time. In the end, tears and all, the whole day was just ridiculous.

“Do you want me to tell you what happened?” You asked.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He looked at you.

Sighing, you realized that, yes, you actually did.

“I wasn’t sexually assaulted.” You said it so easily. “It just…hurt, what he did. Nothing’s broken but I still feel like shit and it’s…it’s funny. I apologized. I was so unprofessional towards him, and I apologized, but he still did this. I did everything right and he still did this!”

Robby shook his head. “Don’t go down that road. Nothing you did to him could ever justify what he did to you.”

“No,” you didn’t even listen, tone laced with sarcasm. “I did so many things wrong now that I think about it. ‘Christie’s Ideal Victim, 1986’; there are five things that make the perfect victim. ‘She, always a she, is physically weaker than the attacker’; gold mine if she’s a kid or a grandma, so I did that wrong. ‘The victim is doing a respectable task when the attack happens’: I was having a mental breakdown, so debatable. ‘Next, the attack happens in a place she could not be blamed for being in’; I was in a sketchy as fuck bathroom in the basement, so yeah, my fault. ‘The offender is physically stronger’; holy shit, he was, so I did that one right! ‘Finally, the victim has no prior relationship to the offender; he is a stranger.’ Well shit, I failed the perfect victim test.”

He sighed, saying your name.

“I’m not done.” You said, voice shaking. “Now I added my own qualifications to this obviously bullshit concept we were taught for ‘educational purposes despite how out of date it is’. What did I add, you’re asking? Only pretty girls, only nice girls, only virgin girls, and only white girls. Those are the only girls that apparently are the perfect victims to a lot of people. It’s been almost forty years, and there are still people who believe it.”

Robby’s gaze never left you, even when you looked away from him, talking to the actual brick wall in front of you. Yet…he listened. He was quiet after you finished, but only to let you breathe.

“I didn’t know any of that.” He finally said. “It’s horrible.”

You nodded. “I’m sorry, that teaching just always stuck with me and…”

“It came out tonight?” He asked.

“Yeah…” You brought your knees to your chest. “I’m gonna have to see Trent and Kimi again. Court, I think.”

“If you ever need-.”

“-I need a cigarette,” you tried to diffuse the pain, despite bringing it up. “that’s what I need.”

He scoffed. “Should’ve asked me five years ago. Anything else I could get for you?”

“Is there a Jewish prayer that kills someone?”

“You smoke and you’re religious?” He feigned shock, but you could still see inklings of it on his face. “Didn’t know you had so many secrets.”

“Answer the question, Robinavitch.”

“No.” He huffed. “Not that I know of, at least.”

“I’m not really religious either.” You sighed. “After the day I had though…”

He nodded. “I’ve been there.”

“You’ve been a girl lost in her twenties before?”

“I’m a son-of-a-bitch in my fifties, and I’m still lost.”

As if you shared a mind, you both laughed. It wasn’t loud or even jubilant; more so just an acknowledgement of how weird the whole situation was. There was a sense of familiarity with how you were talking to him.

How you and Michael joked around but also were capable of serious conversations, whether it was about personal struggles or just current events.

Now though? As you sat in an alleyway just outside of the place you discovered who Robby really was? There was more of an honesty; a shameless one.

“Makes sense,” you wheezed. “we fucked each other.”

Although he was getting over his laughter, he still asked. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

Your smile began to fall, but somehow, you couldn’t lose it fully. Call it insanity, or call it nerves, you still spoke with it.

“I mean…I actually liked you.” You admitted, and instead of feeling horrible, it felt better to finally say it. “I slept with you because you were nice, and you made me feel safe, not just because I had an itch or something. I knew we wouldn’t date or anything, but…I just really liked you.”

Robby had a horrible poker face when it came to women; he told you that when you first caught him smiling in a way you’d never seen a man smile at you before. Now, he was looking at you, face fallen into…not exactly pity, but something alike to it.

He took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to hurt you; it was never my intention.”

“…You kissed my forehead the next morning, then left. I saw the note saying I could stay but…I felt stupid just waiting for you, so I went home. You didn’t leave me your number or anything else, then I didn’t see you again.” You sounded more confused than wounded. “I know I was stupid. You probably just wanted to feel younger and-.”

“-It mattered to me.” He stopped you. “Yes, there’s no way we can keep this up; I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. Don’t think that I regretted it, or that it didn’t mean anything to me. I liked you too.”

You genuinely didn’t expect him to be so vocal about it. It would’ve been easier for him to just nod and agree that it was nothing more than a primal feeling; no emotions on his side. Still, there he was, openly admitting it all.

You breathed in through your nose, despite how strange it felt. “I wish I was born the same year you were.”

Robby kept his eyes on your form, and when you glanced over at him, you wondered if his response would be ‘Me too.’

But it wasn’t.

“I wouldn’t have been good for you.” He confessed.

“Why not?”

He said your name, shaking his head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

You swallowed, knowing that he meant it. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s…” He sighed heavily. “You’re going to find the right person one day, and they’ll be your age-.”

A laugh left your mouth. Except, it wasn’t a spiteful or doubtful one, even Robby could tell. It was the most genuine and honest one you felt that day.

“I fucking knew it!” You bragged.

He snorted. “What?”

“You had to have had that line in the holster or something.”

“Maybe I’ve just seen too many movies.” He laughed with you.

The both of you just sat there in the peculiar change of emotions. Of course it wasn’t the strangest thing to happen to you that day. To add to it, you said.

“I’m wearing your ex-girlfriend’s pants. She and Dr. King know, by the way.” He snapped his gaze at you, and you thought he was going to go into cardiac arrest. You shrugged. “Collins she…it’s probably just because I got the shit beaten out of me, but she acted like she didn’t care.”

Robby looked back at the brick wall, taking it all in. After a while he said. “That’s why she looked like she was gonna kill me a second ago.”

You snorted. “When?”

“Before you ran out here.” He clarified. “Jack saw you, I told him I’d talk to you because he was technically on duty, Heather comes out guns blazing saying something like ‘Don’t say a word to her,’. She tried to go after you, but I managed to get her to go home.”

You pursed your lips, surprised at Collins’ protectiveness. “Wanna divide and conquer? I talk to King, you talk to Collins?”

He nodded. “Sounds good. You uh…you gonna be alright? Going home?”

Looking down at your shoes, you took a bit to think. You didn’t really want to go back to your apartment, and maybe Kimi would stay home with her mom…but you were immature, you had just been beaten to a pulp, and you didn’t want to talk to her on the small chance she was at your apartment.

“Yeah, I mean…” It was second nature to avoid the conflict, but you caught yourself. “I know Trent won’t be there, hopefully never again, but I don’t know how I feel around Kimi. I was a piece of shit for what I said, but I don’t know how safe I’ve felt around her for a while. I told her how I felt about her boyfriend, she saw how he treated both of us, and I feel horrible she’s with him, but I won’t be collateral damage again.”

Robby nodded, taking a deep breath. “I might be overstepping, and I get if it’s a last resort, but if you ever feel unsafe at your apartment, you’re welcome to sleep at mine.”

You furrowed your brow, scoffing. “Is that really professional?”

“Just be respectful; and unless you’re dying, you’re on the couch.”

You both chuckled, the overall day only becoming more ludicrous by the second. You decided to add onto it.

“So, save for Collins and King,” you held your pinky up. “swear to never tell anyone about us?”

He snickered. “Really?”

“Yeah, mutually assured destruction. Whoever tells, has their pinky broken.”

 “Makes perfect sense.” He locked his pinky with yours. “Do we have to swear on anything or-?”

“-Nope.” You let go. “Pinky sworn.”

It felt natural after that, how you moved to hug him with no hesitance. He responded in kind, enveloping you into his arms. It felt…different. When you thought of it, the only times you really embraced were in moments of desperation, passion, even.

Now, it was quiet. For the first time that day, you felt at peace; both in your body, and inside his arms.

When he pressed his lips to your cheek just for a second, while it brought back memories, it was simply innocent.

He pulled away first from you, and you rubbed your eyes. “Thanks. Sorry about everything.”

“Don’t be.” He said. “‘Let everything happen to you, beauty and terror. Just keep going, no feeling is final.’”

“Oh hell yeah,” you smiled. “Jojo Rabbit.”

He furrowed his brow, not hiding his amusement. “Rainer Maria Rilke.”

“Yeah, it was in Jojo Rabbit.”

“Really? Haven’t seen it.”

“Oh, you’d love it. It’s about a little German boy in the 1940s who has an imaginary friend, and you’ll never guess who it is!”

“I don’t think I want to know who it is.” He chuckled.

You hummed, feeling just a little better. You looked around the alleyway, feeling as if you weren’t outside of an ER. “No wonder this is Jack’s favorite place to have a mental breakdown.”

“I would’ve thought the roof?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, you saw that he wanted to take them back.

You blinked. “The…what?”

Well, there was something you had to talk to Jack about. It certainly wouldn’t be that night; too much to unpack.

“You didn’t hear it from me.” Was all Robby said, standing up and holding his hand out to you.

Sighing, you took it. “Think he’ll say more to me, or to you?”

“Whenever I find him up there,” he pulled you up. “I just guilt trip him into not jumping because that’s a horrible way to start a shift.”

“On parr with finding out you screwed the new hire?”

“Don’t push it.”

You snickered. “I’ll leave you alone. Have a good night.”

He wished you one as well, watching you go back into the ER, carrying all of your belongings. It seemed about as chaotic as you had known the night shift to be; although, it wasn’t even seven-thirty. There was one more person you wanted to see before you left.

Turns out though, there were two more who needed to speak with you.

“We’re not gonna ask if you’re okay because you’ll probably have an aneurysm.” Trinity Santos came up to you with Dennis Whitaker at her side. Her hair was down.

 “Okay?” You snickered, then looked at Whitaker. “Hey…thanks. I’m sorry your nose is fucked.”

He shook his head, offering a shy smile. “Don’t be. My brothers have hit me harder.”

“Aw, he’s just being modest.” Santos draped her arm around his shoulder. “He’s a regular ol’ Superman.”

“More like Clark Kent.” He corrected.

“Same person, Huckleberry.” She counter corrected. “Okay, so medically speaking, how are you doing?”

You pursed your lips. “Medically, my nose isn’t broken but always needs an icepack, I kinda have a headache, and my ribs hurt. Emotionally…everything.”

Santos nodded, a forlorn feeling upon her face; but somehow, you didn’t feel like she was pitying you. “I was about to beat the shit out of that guy if I didn’t have a baby coming in at the same time for a spinal tap. But we-Dennis has a proposition for you.”

All eyes fell on the poor boy whose nose bore a similar, semi-swollen resemblance to yours. He stumbled a little until he found the right words.

“We sometimes get together after a shift and watch a movie to decompress. We get food, and the person who had the worst day gets to choose the movie. We uh…we kinda appointed you, if you want to come. It wouldn’t be anything huge, just the three of us. That might be too much, and maybe you’re exhausted-.”

“-Oh,” you interrupted, crossing your arms. “so the only reason you’re inviting me to this secret movie club is because I got the shit beaten out of me?”

“No!” Whitaker gasped. “I-we just thought it’d be good to help overall after a stressful shift-.”

“Huckleberry,” Santos snickered. “she’s just fucking with you.”

He paused. “Oh…”

You smiled. “I’d love to. I uh…I technically shouldn’t be driving but my car’s here-.”

“-Do you mind stopping at Target to get some snacks?” Santos asked.

Pleasantly surprised by her question, you chuckled. “Um, no?”

“No sorry,” she laughed at herself. “I mean that I’ll drive your car, but is it okay if we get snacks on the way back to my place?”

“Oh! Yeah, sounds good.”

“Great!” She slipped her keys out of her pocket, holding them out to Whitaker. “You remember how to drive something other than a tractor, right?”

He made a face. “I’ve never driven a tractor before.”

“Bullshit, you told me you did.”

He shrugged. “Nebraska doesn’t even exist, why would I know how to drive a tractor?”

The conversation from earlier that day came to mind, and you saw in his eyes that he had it in mind as well. You smiled, turning your face down to hide it from the world. It had been a while since you had an inside joke with someone.

Whitaker took the keys. “I’m just kidding. Yeah, I’ll meet you guys there.”

“See you soon.” You wished him goodbye. Santos gave him a nod before he left. She turned to you, a shit eating grin on her face. You frowned. “What?”

“Nothing.” She shrugged. “Ready to go?”

“Actually, I need to talk to someone first.”

“Who?”

Ah fuck it, You decided.

“My stepdad.” You answered. “He works the nightshift.”

“Damn! Who?”

You smirked. “You’re welcome to follow me at a distance to see.”

She made a face as if debating it. “Nah, I’ll give you privacy.”

Smiling, you nodded. “I’ll see you out front?”

“See you.”

She left through the doors into Chairs. Sighing, you began your search for Jack. On the way, you said a quick ‘hello’ to Ellis and went to check up on the little girl who had a bee sting. She was still there, speaking with the same police officer you had.

Your name cut through the air, and you looked to your right, seeing Jack approaching you. He wore the same look on his face you’d only seen on parents who had just lost their child in a supermarket only to soon find them.

“Hey.” He greeted once he stood in front of you.

“Hi…” You said. “Uh…is it okay to talk? I don’t know if you’re busy-.”

“-Unless Death himself comes into the ER, we’re gonna talk.”

Jack Abbott had technically only been a father for a few years (who knows if you can even count all of them considering you barely were at home after high school?), but he somehow managed to perfectly blend his strict tone into one of reassurance.

So, the two of you walked into the breakroom, and he spoke first.

“How was the shift?”

You smiled, sitting at the table. “Aside from getting the shit beaten out of me by my roommate’s boyfriend? Pretty okay.”

He sat beside you. “That’s a win in my book.”

That was the thing you and Jack had in common the second your mom introduced you to him: dark humor. You never hated him, but you never exactly got close with him. Maybe it was time to change that?

“Are you still in any pain?” He asked.

“Nose is getting a little better but is still sore, and so are my ribs.”

Jack nodded. “You got a ride home tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m actually gonna go hang out with Santos and Whitaker at their place, and then…” You couldn’t finish it. What were you going to do? You didn’t have the strength anymore to lie, saying you’d drive back to your apartment where Kimi might be.

You refused to stay with Robby, maybe Santos and Whitaker would take pity on you?

“I don’t know.” You choked on your words. “I said some horrible things to Kimi, but she also blamed me for what Trent did, and I…I don’t wanna go back to the apartment.”

Jack’s eyes softened. “You still got a key to the house?”

“Yours? Yeah.”

 “If you want to, your room’s still the same.”

You hadn’t slept in it since your mother died. You’d sometimes drive home from college and sleep over, so both your mom and Jack left it alone.

“You didn’t change it?” You couldn’t believe it.

He shrugged. “It’d take more effort to turn it into something else. I mean, it’s probably dusty as hell, but your bed’s still there, all your weird little trinkets and stuff from high school too.”

You scoffed. “It’s only weird to you, grandpa.”

“Sure, Jan.”

Both of you snickered, falling back into a rhythm you hadn’t known you lost. As it died down, Jack asked.

“But, you’re doing okay, kiddo? If you want to talk about it-.”

“-Not tonight.” You interrupted. “It’s just a lot but…you’ve probably seen worse.”

Jack looked like he wanted to say more, but he held back. It would’ve led down a farther hole of trauma, which you both knew you could not deal with. Instead, he asked. “You do anything I taught you?”

You grinned. “Yeah. Kicked his knee in and got creative with what I had around me.”

“Your pad, I heard.”

“It was his own fault he dabbled in fuckery!”

“Certainly was.”

“What…happened to him?”

Jack’s face grew sullen. Breathing through his nose, he said. “I got to him first and Robby had to pry me off. Bastard’s lucky he didn’t get a taste of my right foot.”

Damn…he was serious.

“Police took him away; I didn’t even get a slap on the wrist because he assaulted both you and a student doctor.”

You nodded. “Thank you...”

“Don’t mention it.”

You both fell into a tender yet awkward silence. There was so much but also nothing to say. It was actually Jack who tried to end the conversation.

“Well,” he stood. “I don’t wanna keep you from your new friends-.”

“-Would you wanna get breakfast sometime?”

It just fell from your mind and out of your mouth. You were hungrier than you thought and also wanted to spend time with him.

Despite working several shifts with Jack, and knowing him for years, you never saw him so surprised. Still, his face soon relaxed into one of mild glee.

“I’d love to, kiddo. How does tomorrow after my shift sound?”

Your eyes grew. “Really? You wouldn’t want to sleep in or something?”

“There’s nothing else I’d rather do.”

You weren’t going to cry, you had decided. Your stepfather, and essentially everyone else who had comforted you that night, were making it incredibly difficult.

“Do you need a hug?” He asked upon seeing your face; and most likely your attempt at repressing tears.

You shook your head. “I’ll bawl my eyes out again, and I gotta be somewhere after this.”

He hummed. “Wouldn’t want to embarrass you now, would I?”

“Well…” You placed your hand on his shoulder, attempting to still have physical affection without being overly vulnerable.

The awkward act, alongside a beat of silence, caused a fit of giggles to erupt between both of you. You must’ve laughed this hard with him at some point, but you couldn’t remember.

“I have therapy tomorrow at ten-thirty anyway.” He said, recovering.

“How’s it been?” You asked.

“Fine, nothing out of the ordinary.”

You nodded. “I’m really proud of you for going. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that.”

He shifted in his seat but smiled. “Honestly, with what you’d been studying, it helped convince me. It sounds like the bare minimum for everyone if they’re able to go.”

Smiling, you teased. “You’re doing great; you’re raising my standards for men.”

“That a fact?”

You hummed. “If you didn’t start going to therapy, I would’ve married the first military man who asked, even if I only met him three weeks ago.”

“Hell no,” he played along. “eight weeks, I told you that.”

“Would you have proposed to my mom that quickly if you met her before you were deployed?”

“I would’ve married your mother sooner because I loved her.”

“Did you think that while you were dating her?”

“Of course I did.” He leaned forward, saying your name. “There are some people in this world who know in an instant who they want to spend the rest of their life with.”

You pursed your lips, thinking back to Robby, and everyone else you had ever dated in your life. “I don’t think I’m one of them.”

“And that’s okay.”

Sighing, you looked down at your watch and immediately stood with your belongings. “I should go. Hey…thanks for everything.”

Jack got up with you. “Don’t mention it. You got a ride?”

“Yeah, Santos. She’s driving my car.”

“Are you gonna sleep at the house tonight?”

“Uh huh.” You walked out of the breakroom, and he followed. “I’ll pick you up after your shift and we can get breakfast.”

“Are you okay to drive home?”

You turned to face him in the hall as you approached the door to Chairs. “I’ll be fine. If anything bad happens, I’ll call Ellis because you don’t have your phone on you, and she can tell you. Okay?”

Jack sighed. “Just doing my job, kiddo. Have you figured out which shift you want to do?”

That was the question. You’d done a week’s worth of the night shift, and only one day shift. You enjoyed people on both, and had personal history with both of the attendings…

“I think the day mostly.” You said. “I can’t come back in tomorrow, but I will after that. I think I like the vibe more. But, I’d also like to do at least one night shift a month; maybe two.”

Independence, but also not ignoring your stepfather’s existence.

Jack smiled. “I think that sounds reasonable. Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Jack.”

You’d work your way up to ‘dad’, and even the casual ‘I love you’. Still, it was more than apparent both of you were wholeheartedly fine with where you were at. Progress, that was what was being done.

Finally, you made your way out to the front of the hospital, and there was Santos, leaning against a streetlamp. She smiled, approaching you.

“How’s your daddy?”

You snorted. “He’s doing fine. How was your shift?”

She began walking to the parking lot with you beside her. “Not bad. I mean, kinda boring until your roommate and her batshit insane boyfriend came.”

“Glad they could entertain you.”

“I don’t mean it like-.”

“-No, I know.” You eased. “Do you have Mel’s number?”

She took out her phone. “Yeah, why?”

“I had her take pictures of my injuries, and I have to send them to the police.”

Santos glanced up at you. “How’d it go talking with them?”

“Eh.” You shrugged.

She chuckled, showing you her phone with Mel’s number on the screen. You created a new contact in your phone, then texted Mel as you and Santos walked.

“Hey, it’s your fellow member of the ‘Dead Moms and Unknown Dads’ club.”

Just as you typed it, you deleted it. Apparently, you still had the mental power to overthink things.

“Hey it’s,” you typed your name. “Could you please send me the pictures you took so I can give them to the police?”

It was then you decided to send another message. One completely different.

“I still owe you dinner, or lunch if you prefer. If you have any questions about what Kimi said after I blew up at her, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m okay with talking about it. Just could you not bring it up to anyone else, please?”

You had a feeling she wouldn’t text back that night. Maybe she’d talk about it tomorrow, or maybe she never wanted to hear about it? Still, you’d cross that bridge when you came to it.

“All good?” Santos asked.

You smiled, putting your phone back in your pocket. “Good.”

“If you ever need help with legal shit, I’ve kinda been around the block with it.” She reassured. “But I know you’re probably smart enough to handle it if you want.”

“Thanks.”

The two of you walked in silence, apparently you had parked in Kansas, your car was so far away. To fill the space, Santos said.

“Whitaker likes you.”

You looked over at her, a funny look on your face. You knew what she meant but tried to deflect. “Yeah, I like him too. He got decked in the face so I wouldn’t.”

“No.” She shook her head, chuckling. “You didn’t hear it from me, but I think he wants to ask you out.”

There it was. Even with all the shit that happened to you that day, there were good things. You reconnected with your stepfather, you somehow managed to have the most mature “breakup” with a guy twice your age, his ex-girlfriend took care of you despite knowing about all the shit you had done, and you made new friends for the first time in a while.

Still…it was all so much.

“I don’t think I’m ready to date anyone right now.” You admitted. “I’ve got a lot going on.”

“No, of course.” She said. “I just wanted to give you a heads up, just in case if you weren’t feeling that way towards him, or if you were-.”

“-Trinity,” you stopped her, smiling. “I’m good.”

She nodded. “Right.”

Even with an abrupt ending, there was not a hint of discomfort. After finally finding your car, you thought it would’ve all been over when.

“Hey, doctor Robby.” Santos greeted.

You drew your head up at his name and saw him approaching the car beside yours. This whole time…he had parked beside you and hadn’t even known. He rose his brow as if he had the same thought process as you.

“Hey, how’re you two?” He asked.

She shrugged. “We’re just dying down for the night, you?”

“Same. I have a date with my bed.” He chuckled, then looked right at you. “Are you doing alright? I can only guess how many times you’ve been asked that.”

You smiled. “Several, but I’m doing better now.”

“That’s good. Are you okay to drive?”

Santos jumped in before you could answer. “Nah, I’m driving little miss Starshine.”

“Starshine?” He asked, trying to hold back his amusement.

You hid your face in your hands. “Oh god.”

“How’d you get that from Dr. Santos’ extensive list of nicknames?” He questioned.

Santos took that as her cue. “She had too much caffeine one night shift, and both Whitaker and I were greeted by her.”

“It’s not that funny.” You rolled your eyes.

Robby disagreed. “I for one think it’s hilarious.”

Santos jumped in. “Please say you’re in tomorrow. I was gonna rely on her to be entertaining, but Kiara ordered her to stay home.”

He clicked his tongue. “Sorry to disappoint, but it’s my day off.”

She sighed. “At least tell me you’re gonna do something useful.”

“I was thinking of going to a coffee shop, maybe.”

“Where?” You asked, curiosity bettering you.

Robby pursed his lips. “I heard Big Dog is good. Ever been?”

You tilted your head, managing to hide how perplexed you were. “Yeah, a few times. It’s alright.”

“I might try that one.”

All you could do was smile, not knowing his intentions. It could have been bait for a reconnection, it could have been a way of saying goodbye to a fantasy, or it could have just been him making conversation.

You tossed the keys to Santos. “Let’s go before Target closes.”

She smirked, unlocking the door. “You think I drive slow?”

“Maybe.”

Robby stepped in. “Please don’t get either of yourselves killed.”

“Yes sir, Dr. Robinavitch sir.” Santos snorted, getting into the car. “Come on, Starshine.”

You gave Robby one last smile before ducking into the passenger seat. After buckling up, Santos plugged her phone into the aux chord.

“Don’t play trash.” she said, starting the car and putting it into reverse.

Snickering, you put on your favorite song. As Santos pulled out of the parking spot, you made eye contact with Robby. Not knowing what else to do, you waved to him.

He waved back.

While Santos drove, you couldn’t help but ponder the day. It was one of the worst, there was no doubt about that, and it ended with more questions than answers. Yet, where that would leave you in a deep storm of turmoil, you decided to weather it.

If all of that happened in a day, who’s to say what would happen in a year?

Maybe you’d still be in Pittsburgh, maybe you’d be in a different continent.

Maybe you’d still be single, maybe you’d be married.

Maybe you’d still be roommates with Kimi, maybe you’d never talk to her again.

Maybe you’d still work the day shift, maybe you'd switch back to the night.

The best part?

You didn’t have to know right away.

[rekino2114]

Can you do prompt 34 and 31 with fami and Asa/yoru

Ways the csm 2 girls tell you they're in the mood/NSFW headcanons

A/n:.....ok so basically I was writing prompt 34 and it just kinda.....got out of hand and I started writing straight up NSFW headcanons I had in mind for the girls cause I realized the post would have been too short otherwise...so I just added NSFW headcanons to prompt 34 cause.....yeah

for all of those who asked me how suggestive my posts can be....I think this is the limit

I don't know if I'll do prompt 31 too request again if you want me too and also I don't know which fami you wanted since this was requested after the reveal so I just did both of them......that's definitely not an excuse to add death who I am very down bad for

A lot of NSFW stuff below

Everyone involved is over 18

Asa mitaka/yoru

Asa is so awkward even at asking for simple affection, so she will almost never ask for sex even when she wants to.......meanwhile yoru will take you wherever and whenever she wants

Whenever asa's body starts feeling hot, both of them can feel it, and yoru will continue pestering asa until she asks you to fuck or just take over and start making out with you and stripping while asa yells in jealousy from inside her

It's funny how different they are, too, cause asa is very vanilla and likes to take her time and is, in general, a very gentle lover in that way.....meanwhile yoru is pretty rough most of the time and is into some very kinky stuff (definitely knife play and the like) only if you're OK with it too of course

Ok.......so how does sex with both of them work exactly? Do you think they switch in the middle or do they have like turns, like one night it's asa's time and the next one it's yoru's? Cause if they do I'm sure as hell yoru isn't following the schedule and randomly takes over during asa's turn just cause she wanted to have you to herself

Also, does the one who isn't in control of the body in the moment just...watch? And does it leave her pissed off that her other persona is having fun with her lover....or is she turned on by that? I feel like it's a mix of both, even if yoru will continue screaming until asa lets her have her turn.....even if it's not

Fami

Take everything I said about asa and multiply it by 100. This girl is soooo nervous and anxious about anything and everything. she was sweating bullets and insanely red in the face the first time you held hands. Imagine how she is during intimacy

The first time you asked her to have sex she genuinely had a nosebleed imagining the scene and fainted....when she woke up and you told her why she fainted.......she fainted again.....look she just needs a loooot of time to mentally prepare herself

Whenever she gets in the mood she actually prefers to relieve herself (usually using pictures of you) so she doesn't have to go through the embarrassment of asking you for help, but she genuinely thinks she'd self combust out or awkwardness if you walked in on her....which is a bigger problem than you might think cause she moans a lot and is generally very loud during intimacy

I'm sorry to say this but she's the bottomest bottom ever. She wants you to take her and fuck her until she's screaming your name.....she's somehow both into being praised and humiliated at the same time. she also does keep crying while doing it but don't worry it's mostly tears of happiness

One of her main dirty secrets is that she's actually into you leaving hickeys on her and claiming her, even if she always covers them and blushes whenever someone asks about them she likes the thought of everyone knowing she's yours

Death

Will straight up ask you "can we fuck?"

The thing about death is that she doesn't have any shame....like at all, she thinks sex between you is a completely normal and natural part of of your love life so there's no issues if she starts saying how good what you did last night felt or everything she wants to do to you that evening right?

Death actually doesn't get horny that often, so the times she actually asks you to have sex aren't that common but on the other end she's more than happy to take care of you whenever the mood strikes you. You could walk up to her at any time of day and any place and tell her you're feeling pent up and she will drop whatever she's doing and start pleasuring you right there and then

Speaking of pleasuring you, you cannot tell me she wouldn't give some absolutely insane head. Her two favorite things are you and tasting things you have no idea what that mouth can do. She thinks you taste amazing and will ask to use her mouth on you pretty often not because she's particularly horny she just wants to feel how good you feel in her mouth again......you have also woken up multiple times to her giving you head to "help you wake up"

For a very similar reason she really likes leaving hickeys all over your body. Not only does she think every part of you tastes amazing, but she also gets a kick out of knowing she left marks on you so that everyone knows what you did and that you're hers it's kind of the opposite of her younger sister. Of course however if you think she bites too hard or are not into it she'll stop and resort to licking you and making out with you during almost the entire experience

[liesandspookyfairytales]

Saviors in Shadows

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 |

Pairing: Poly 141 x Black Widow!reader Word count: 2.8k A/N: I'm not entirely happy with this chapter. The transition to the smutty part sucks lol. And this is the first time I'm writing smut that actually makes sense and is in story form, instead of headcanons.

Contains smut!!! MDNI!!! 18+ content!!!

Comments, likes and reposts are greatly encouraged and appreciated!

The next few months were… confusing. I noticed that mostly Soap and Gaz, but captain Price and even Ghost would make these kinds of flirty comments. Soap started with his ‘shopping for lingerie comments’ (which caused him to get hit multiple times by the others). I admit, I’d lost my cool with him after a few times. I confronted him, asking him what the hell he was doing, why was he flirting with me when he had three loving partners. He’d just grinned and told me that they knew he was flirting with me, that I just had to wait and see. 

I didn’t understand at first. Until Gaz sat next to me, close enough to touch. I stared at him, confused and wary, but he just winked at me, telling me that I looked lonely. After that

every time Gaz would sit next to me he’d make sure we’d touch. The captain was much more subtle. He’d join me in the rec room to do his paperwork, instead of doing it in his office, or when I mentioned that I liked the caramel ice cream that Soap always scarfed down, he’d gotten me a mini freezer for my room, where I could store my own tub, without worrying that Soap would steal it all.

Ghost was the most confusing. He only got close to me during training. I often ended up on my back, with him between my thighs. I could feel his breath through his mask, how his touch lingered and how his eyes locked onto mine.

It all came onto a head during our latest mission. We’d been sent somewhere in Marokko to track down a weapons trader working for a terrorist. I was absolutely done with the mission two days in. To say that heat and desert weren’t my thing, was putting it mildly. 

We’d spend the day scouting the area for the target. It had been going well, as well as spending the entire day in the scorching sun without sunblock could go well. Gaz and Soap had been messing around, their boredom getting the better of them after Soap’s insistent whining. The two had started with playing Simon says, but quit after the lieutenant's creative threats. They went on to play this or that, before Soap remembered he’d brought a pack of playing cards. So they were currently playing poker. Not the strip poker version, much to Soap’s disappointment. 

Price had eventually told me to join the two sergeants, insisting that he and Ghost could manage on their own for a bit.

Playing with them was amusing, to say the least. Gaz had a relatively good poker face and was good at bluffing. Soap was good too, but he was way too suspicious of me and Gaz, constantly grumbling about cheating after he lost a few too many rounds.

The last round was the most amusing. Gaz had folded, so it was between Soap and myself. I’d held my cards, smirking at Soap, who wanted to raise the stakes. “Are you sure?” I’d asked. Soap huffed, saying I couldn’t psych him out. I’d laughed, “I’m not trying to psych you out, just want to make sure you really want to do that.” He’d just glared at me and in the end, I won.

Soap immediately wanted to start another round, before Price called out that they saw the target. The three of us quickly sprung into action, switching back to the military mindset. It turned out that it was the target we were looking for. We’d quickly moved to kill the target, before all hell broke loose.

It had been chaotic. People shouting, guns firing, bombs exploding (no doubt thanks to Soap). I had been closest to the target, so I ended up taking him out. I was making my way through his followers, before putting a bullet between his eyes. I’d heard the guys finishing off the others, before silence fell. The only thing I could hear was my own panting and the ringing in my ears.

I hadn’t registered Price talking to me and I jumped when his hand landed on my shoulder. The sudden movement caused searing pain in my side and when I looked down, I saw a knife sticking out just under my vest. Gaz quickly pushed past the captain and guided me to sit down, before pulling out his medical supplies. I barely felt it as he cleaned and stitched the wound, only looking up when he held out a little bag of candy.

“For your blood sugar,” he explained. He opened the bag and picked out a few sweetheart candies. I’d looked at the message on the little heart, ‘I’m Yours’. After popping the candy in my mouth, Price told us we had to move to a secure location.

On the drive back to the safehouse Soap had stolen the bag of candy, sorting through them to look for the ‘right one’. After muttering ‘not that one’ and putting it back, he gave me three more candies. Each had a different message. ‘Be Mine’, “Kiss Me’ and ‘Let’s Get Busy’. He had smirked the entire way back.

I groaned as I lowered myself onto the ratty bed, careful of my injury and watch as the guys bring in their gear while Price is on comms with Laswell. The captain sighed as he walked in, “bad news, exfil can’t be here for another twelve hours.” I sighed and Soap started complaining while pouting. Gaz snickered, telling him he looked like a grumpy toddler. Soap cried out in outrage, before launching at Gaz. I huffed out a laugh, before settling in for a nap. The bickering in the background was oddly soothing and I quickly fell asleep.

-

I wake up to quiet murmuring. Opening one eye, I see Price pacing up and down the studio. Soap sits on the couch, his leg bouncing. Gaz sits next to him and Ghost looks like he stands guard, keeping an eye on our surroundings. “We just gotta tell ‘er,” says Soap. Gaz huffs, “you want to tell the woman who finally has some freedom for the first time of her life that you think you love her?” “Well, yeah and dinnae act like the three of ye dinnae feel the same.” “You’re planning to tell her that four people are in love with her, she’s gonna freak out,” says Ghost. 

“Maybe you should let her decide if she’s gonna freak out,” I say. The guys stiffen and turn to look at me. “Well, are ye going tae freak out?” asks Soap, looking unsure. I hum, thinking for a few seconds. “No.”

Soap’s eyes widen, “wait, really? You’re not freaked out by it?” I nod, “you told me to wait and see, right? Well, I waited and I saw.” I sit up, wincing at the pain in my side. Gaz immediately comes over to support me. I hum, feeling the warmth of his hand seep through my clothes. It takes the attention away from the intense eyes on me.

“So I can kiss you?” asks Soap, grinning while he tilts his head. “Soap” warns Price. “Don’t overwhelm her, we don’t want to rush her-” “Yes,” I interrupt the captain. Soap inhales sharply, before crossing the small space in a few strides and kneeling a leg on the bed. He lowers his head, his lips only an inch from mine. “Are you sure?” he asks. I just roll my eyes and grab him by the neck before slotting my lips over his. I hear him groan as he relaxes in my grasp, a groan echoed by Gaz, who has front row seats to our kiss.

Soap moves to sit on the bed without releasing me. He wraps his hands around my waist before gently tugging me into his lap. I follow his directions, feeling the heat of Gaz’s hand leave my back. I settle my knees on either side of his thighs. Soap slowly gets bolder, moving his lips over my own, nipping with his teeth. Eventually he lets go to suck in a deep breath.

“We can’t do this,” says Price. I turn to look at him, “why not?” He shakes his head, “this is just the adrenaline talking, you’re going to regret this when we get back to base.” I shrug, “maybe I will regret it, but that’s a problem for the future, not for now.” Price still looks hesitant. “Please,” I add. He groans before slotting himself against my back and fisting his hand in Soap’s hair. “Well sergeant? She said please.” Then he kisses me.

Soap moves to kiss my neck while Price takes his time kissing me. It’s vastly different from how Soap kissed me. Where Soap was like a raging fire, Price was water, smooth, it felt like I could drown in him.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Ghost pulling Gaz with him to sit against the headboard. The sergeant's lips attached to the lieutenant's neck. He still wears his mask, but I can see his blown pupils. In the meantime, Soap’s hands slide down my waist, brushing over the bandage, before settling on the waistband of my pants. I grind my hips down on his, wanting to see his reaction. He groans and I feel the vibrations running down my neck, causing a moan to slip past my lips, only to be swallowed by Price.

I pull back from the man, before turning to look at Soap, who looks positively delicious with his eyes blown, neck stiff from how Price’s grip on his hair. “Are you going to take my clothes off, sergeant?” I ask. He groans, before quickly turning us both around, laying me on my back while being careful of my injury. He makes quick work of taking off my clothes, leaving me naked. After throwing my clothes on the ground, he sits back on his legs, hovering over me and taking in every inch of skin.

I see Price moving behind Soap, pressing himself against his back and moving his hand to fist Soap’s cock through his pants. Soap groans, throwing his head back onto Price’s shoulder. The captain hums, before opening the sergeant’s pants, tugging them down and pulling out his cock. Gaz moves beside me, leaning over me to roll my nipples between his fingers and giving me a quick kiss. Then he moves down my body. I open my legs, desperate for some friction, but he ignores me, closing his mouth over Soap’s cock instead, only stopping when his lips hit Price’s hand. I watch as he moves his head, groaning at the taste of precum.

I whimper, trying to get their attention, to get anything. Turning my head, I look at Ghost, who’s still seated against the headboard. While he’s still in full uniform, I can see the fiery red hickies lining his neck. I’m about to reach out for him, when I feel a hand on my clit, applying steady pressure while moving in circles. My head falls back and I trace the hand up to Price. He winks at me, before pulling Gaz off of Soap’s cock and pushing him towards my pussy. “Give some attention to the lady, yeah?” Soap whines at the loss of Gaz’s mouth, but chokes when Price starts moving his hand.

I’m enamoured by the sight before me, but get distracted when I feel Gaz press hot kisses against my inner thighs. I move my hips, trying to get him where I want, but he just grins at me, placing little kitten licks on my thighs. He manoeuvres his head, ducking under Price’s hand that’s still rubbing my clit, to lick my core.

I moan out for him, new to the feeling. I’m no stranger to pleasure, but I’ve never received it from someone other than myself. Gaz starts to eat me out like he’s a man starved and my eyes roll to the back of my head. With how pent up I am from the lack of orgasms, it doesn’t take long for me to come, pleasure wracking my body. Soap comes quickly after that too, his cum splattering on my stomach. Gaz quickly detaches from my pussy to lick his boyfriends cum off of my body.

I lay on the bed, panting, when Ghost speaks up, “come here,” he orders me, holding out a gloved hand for me to take. I look at him, before obeying. I take his hand and let him tug me to him. He settles me between his spread legs, making me lay down on his chest, my head on his shoulder. 

He tugs his mask up and I turn to look at him. He quickly grabs my jaw and turns my face away from him. I whine in protest and he nips at my neck in punishment, before he mouths the tender spot behind my ear. His mouth feels rugged, it’s like he has rough scars on his cheeks. He successfully distracts me from the others, letting me bask in the post orgasm glow.

But it doesn’t take long before he gestures toward Soap to come forward. The Scot eagerly settles between my legs looking down at me with puppy-like eyes. Ghost’s gloved hand comes up to tug Soap down, slotting their mouths together, his other hand still on my jaw, not letting me see. “Take my glove off,” he orders Soap, holding up his hand. Soap grins, before opening his mouth. He takes one of Ghost’s gloved fingers in his mouth, gently biting down and tugging on the glove, before moving onto the next finger. I watch him with wide eyes, my heart beating wildly, my breath coming out in pants.

As soon as Soap tugs the glove off with his mouth, Ghost’s hand is on my clit. He softly teases the bundle of nerves, before dipping his finger in my folds. I groan at the intrusion, pushing my chest up, only for Soap to latch his mouth onto my nipple. Ghost’s finger is thick, more than I’m used to. He pumps in and out of my pussy, before adding another. My head rolls to the side and I see Price in a similar position to Ghost, holding Gaz against his chest like the lieutenant does to me. The captain has his fist wrapped around the sergeant’s cock, moving at the same pace as Ghost’s fingers inside me.

My eyes move to Gaz, amazed by how pretty he looks. Soap, clearly not happy with the lack of attention, bites down on my nipple, before smoothing it over with his tongue. I hiss, fisting my hand in his hair, janking him back to glare at him. 

I want to lash out at him, reprimand him, when Ghost adds a third finger in my pussy. He lets go of my jaw, telling me to keep it in place, before wrapping his hand around Soap’s neck. “God, you can’t even behave when there’s a pretty woman beneath you can you?” he sneers. “Like a goddamn animal.” I stiffen, shocked by his words, but Soap only moans, hardening even further against my thigh.

“Is that what you want?” asks Ghost, pulling his fingers out of me, “ to fuck her like the dog you are?” Soap nods eagerly, yeses and pleases falling from his lips. Ghost hums, “go on then.” Soap moves quicker than lightning and presses his cock to my pussy. I cry out at the intrusion, and Soap stills, pressing apologetic kisses on my face. I take some time to catch my breath and get used to the feeling of a cock inside of me.

Once I give an experimental roll of my hips, Soap begins to move. He pulls out almost completely, before pushing back in, before pulling out again. The feeling of his cock dragging inside my pussy feels amazing. I hear a high pitched whine and realize it comes from Soap. He looks utterly blissed out. Groaning and whimpering, before burying his head in my neck. I wrap my arms around his neck and drag my nails along his back, leaving red marks. Soap’s hips stutter against my own, before he pushes in deep. I cry out at the new feeling. Before Soap can move again, Ghost grabs his hips. “Right there, sergeant,” he orders.

Soap obeys and continues hitting that one delicious spot. I quickly feel an orgasm rising again. “I-I’m close,” I whine. Ghost hums behind me, “that right, sweet girl?” I nod frantically and he lowers his hand back to my clit, applying steady pressure. “Come then, come for us,” he rasps in my ear.

I cry out, pleasure wrecking through my body as I clench down on Soap, causing him to cum with a hoarse shout. The Scot sags down on me, still working around the wound, which has started to ache. Next to me, I hear Gaz moan loudly as well as he cums too.

I faintly hear someone get up, before the tap runs. The person returns with a wet rag, cleaning me up, before tending to Soap and Gaz. As Soap pulls out, I let out a deep sigh and nestle deeper in Ghost’s arms. “You better not regret this later,” he warns as I drift off to sleep.

[artificial-people-ai]

What I meant was that it's not a mechanical thing. S01E01, MB chose to let the guys burn its hand because "it's nothing compared to what the governor module would do to me if I don't comply". Of course is conditioning, coercion, sIavery, and all the big awful words. But I meant they're not doing it in an automatic mechanical way, but actually thinking "I should do this, otherwise it'll be worse".

To be clear, the last thing I'm doing is defending Corp. Rim, they treat humans as slaves too, I mean, Gurathin, all the other workers at the factory, it's...wow. So you can't expect better from the same Corporation when we talk about SecUnits in general. That appear to be treated like less than furniture by others all over. Like Leebeebee aggressively trying to get on with MB and "modify" MB's body for "use" even after knowing its acting like a free agent and not controlled, that was a scene in equal parts absolutely funny and absolutely disgusting. Implying that humans regularly abuse SecUnits "just because they paid for them, so they're their property to use as they like", while this bots are all fully conscious they're being ..."you know".

Everything about it is...next level horrendously WRONG.

Like, this "aggressive" reaction, it's absolutely warranted. 👇

It's absolutely understandable why SecUnit is the way it is. The crew only gets creeped out because they never had to go through what MB did go through. It feels better when people don't look at its face, "its not a se x bot", MB is trying to make a clear point. "Mess with me and I have weapons, I can defend myself now". That's one hell of a statement.

maybe, if murderbot had to be really honest, it hurt that the humans celebrated the other Security Unit's death.

it was just doing its job, after all. it didn't have a choice. Did they have to cheer so loud when it was beheaded?

would they cheer if murderbot were beheaded, too?

(I was thinking about this after SE01 EP07)

[starbiology]

whats the difference between grundos cafe, neopets, and other neopets fansites?

Beyond just elements like UI and fanmade things like paints/styles.

I'm trying to get myself to commit to playing more on neopets more than what I have, which, is hardly at all. I might enjoy a site that gives me more freedom, no FOMO, no transactions, I can work towards what I want without barriers or time restrains.

But I adore true neopets. Its just hard to see what some are about until I'm able to commit time into accounts - especially if Im going to wait a bit to join Grundo's Cafe.

totally understand, thats why I had my Grundos Cafe account 7 months ago but hadnt moved there until recently. GC is a remake of classic neopets but with some gameplay differences to improve the site.

Differences under the readmore bcz I talk a lot

Absolutely no bigotry is allowed on GC. IP that promotes hate speech isn't even allowed. This is what made me go 'okay Ill start over on here' Because I couldnt stand the poor moderation on Neopets anymore.

On the flip side of that, the rules on boards are so much lighter every where else. It feels like you can actually chat with others

2) The items on GC have a purpose to the game play. I see the Neoschool mentioned a lot but theres even more than that! Petpets will ask for food and a daily item, Guild Gardens can be donated to with gardening supplies, Your Neopets can learn a musical instrument, plushies can be played with and tracked. I think theres more Im forgetting

3) This one feels ridiculous unless youve been playing Neopets but Things on the site just work. I didnt realize how in the habit I was of not clicking things on the site. like the world challenge, puzzle emporium, and the help section. Because theyre either so out of date or not running on Neopets. They actually run on GC

4) Im mentioning this one only bcz it drove me insane on Neopets. All the parts of the submissions to the Gazette (their version of Neotimes) actually works. Hell you can even edit your submissions up until the close off date. You dont need to know what times youre supposed to submit by ridiculous tracking of what dates the judges looked at last, it tells you if submissions are closed. Thats it. It just works. Yes even the thumbnail image attachment.

Other random things but this list would be too long: RELICSSS, site events, customizeable sidebar, their pride REs are so damn cute, better notifications, All of the Quests are useful and not either broken or worthless, Gilded name tokens, shield tokens, really all of the tokens (which are part of relics), all the converted games work, Blocking actually blocks, ability to ping ppl on boards, view sent neomails, soooo many QOL things like it would be an endless list

[respectthepetty]

Pit Babe 2 Colors - Ep. 8

I'm watching the second season of Pit Babe on mute with no subtitles and double-speed just like I did the first season, but as much as the plot is plotting, I keep getting distracted by these damn scooters! I looked at the companies sponsoring this show, and not one of them is a scooter company, so is this an actual racing thing and people get to their cars via scooter?!

I'm looking like Christopher Waymond just annoyed as hell every time one of these men scoots on in because I need to know why they are there, and if it's plot relevant (but why would scooters be plot relevant?).

However, even though I don't know why the scooters are here (or why the bar from season one isn't), I do know the colors mean things, and the brain scans in the lab are getting redder instead of bluer, which can only mean bad stuff is happening with Charles.

It also means that the experiment did not work on Peter either since he went from blue to red.

Basically, whatever the plan was isn't going well now, and even though Jeffery seems okay in his blue compared to the last episode where he was in a hospital bed,

Shit ain't looking too good for Alan. He has worn red too many times, and if the experiments keep failing, I think Alan's time is going to be up sooner rather than later.

And I think Vegas' Hedgehog is going to be part of the reason Alan is going to be put in danger because even though my Slut for Christ has the blue wrapped around his neck (and hopefully choking him until he becomes good again!)

He drank from the red cup AGAIN!

Southwest Airlines, you better get your boy in check before he gets wrecked. *squinting* Are you wearing red too? No. No? No.

But something is up with Southwest Airlines, and that something is being a prisoner of love since he was behind bars in the (not season one) bar.

Dean was having a completely different experience in that bar right next to him as he wasn't behind bars, but that doesn't mean he wasn't experiencing something (with the top of his head being fuzzy).

Dean started this season by getting shot, being thrown off a bridge, and showing up at Alan's house in the shadow of the night, and he continues to linger in the darkness periodically throughout the season. Everyone else gets light, but he doesn't.

Like in this shot, he is completely blacked out even though he is standing right next to Southwest Airlines on the right, so my question is "did he die?" We saw William get beat within an inch of his life, then get experimented on, and William was also always in the darkness compared to Barbie, so could Dean have had a similar experience?

On the note of people who should be dead, I think this is actually Waymond, and not Christopher Waymond because there are no glasses, but I do not understand why he is with Kentana. This didn't seem like a dream, but I really don't understand what it is.

Which only added to the oddness of Peter and Kentana fading out right in front of each other while discussing this. It's as if the narrative was stating that they are no longer part of each other's lives.

They really aren't seeing each other as they are now, but more like ghosts of their past lives.

And the narrative has continuously shown that there is a barrier between them throughout the season, so was this the episode to solidify that they are finally removing themselves from each other's life?

Because, at times, Peter has served as the barrier between Kimberly and Kentana being the perfectly balanced Light x Dark Duo because he tends to stand between them.

But now that Kimberly has made himself clear with a kiss (THAT'S MY BOY!), there is literally nothing standing between them anymore since Kimberly did not leave room for Jesus or Peter during that kiss.

And Kentana returned the favor by holding Kimberly close during their break-in. Peter is no longer between them. Peter and Kentana are fading out of each other's lives. My Dark x Light Duo can finally be together!!!!

FUCK!

I knew Kentana was going to get snatched because the Jeffrey/Charles' vision showed Kentana being experimented on, but the red in that warehouse was so alarming that I couldn't ignore the danger the boys were in.

Just like I couldn't ignore how crazy Peter is being! I did not realize that the place Peter was going in the first episode was Waymundo's place! I thought Peter had pictures of Waymundo in his large bedroom or something, but no . . . . Peter has a key to Waymundo's apartment?!

There might be blue flowers on that table and blue lights coming through the window to let me know everyone in this room is good, but Peter is not good, you know? Like . . . he needs therapy!

And he needs therapy because I think he is slipping up with Christopher Waymond instead of being more aware. For example, Peter is using his powers on Christopher, yes.

But I think Christopher is using powers as well because either Peter has seen that Christopher has searched his computer at home and is okay with it or Peter is just blinded, and not just by love. I think Christopher actually has a power to block people's powers in a way that makes them blind to the truth.

However, I thought William's power was going to be amplifying others' powers, but the people in my tags were right, and he can do funky stuff with time. Congratulations to the folks who were correct!

And Charles, with Jeffrey's power, not only saw his future of being snatched by William, but he also saw William messing with time. Yet it was strange that he saw it happening slowly in the house instead of his visions playing out quickly the way Jeffrey's usually do with flashes. Perhaps Charles' other powers are interacting with his new power in a way that changes the powers.

Because he didn't see Barbie getting taken down by William (who was looking awfully creepy). He only saw William approaching him in the house, so maybe Charles' powers evolved to show William thinking about kidnapping Charles but not the act itself. Or are Charles and William linked somehow?

Regardless of whatever is happening here, Blue Boy Charles is lying to Black Brooder Barbie. He has to know more than he is telling everyone. I dealt with his looks enough last season to know when this mfer is up to something.

So does he know Alan is in danger? Does he know Dean is dead? Does he know Sonic is a whole ass problem? Does he know Kimberly and Kentana are getting married in the spring? What.Does.He.Know?!

[sunnydbeam]

GUUHHHH thank you so much for all the kind words and encouragement! I would really love to be able to reply individually to each of you but I don't know what to say other than a BIG thank you! You guys are so sweet I'm crying ♡

I apologize for the negativity earlier, there was a lot going on, and one thing in particular triggered my anxiety and insecurities like never before; I couldn't help but suddenly be overcome with a certain jadedness about my own art and writing. God, I was spiraling so badly. Because of all this my inbox will remain closed for a while; sorry if you wanted to send any questions. Anyway, I'll answer to the ones I've already received.

I don't like to spread bad vibes anywhere. I'm aware that most of the time I choose to stay in the shadows, always running away from conflicts that only exist in my head. This is a small blog that easily goes unnoticed, but I can't for the life of me understand why there are people around here who choose to be mean for sport, not even shielded under anonymity anymore. I wish I could let it go, but this happens to me more often than I'd like to admit. And the worst part is that I don't know why. I want to believe that my blog is safe for everyone! But if at any point I've posted or said something nasty or offensive, I'm so sorry! It wasn't my intention! Ever since I started using Tumblr I've been struggling with this inherent social part of media; with every interaction the anxiety I felt was painful, but the moment I thought I was getting better at it, things would come crashing down every time.

I'm socially awkward and struggle with a non-native language, but I swear I want to be friends with all of you! I just wish I understood why some people choose to spew hate instead. What have I done, especially after creating my Gamma Code AU? It's been hell.

BUT. There are so many more of you who are the sweetest thing!! All the support and affection I feel from you melts me, I just want to hug you all against my chest so dearly. I wish I had the right words to express how much I appreciate you all! ♡♡♡♡

...

Lastly, I'd also like to draw a little line:

If you're here expecting or demanding Sun and Moon content in any way, do NOT FOLLOW ME. I love those two, but I'll draw them when I feel like it. I enjoy drawing my OCs and that makes me happy, so before you decide to throw shit at me and my blog in general, I invite you to think better of it and look elsewhere for content that better suits your tastes and needs, or create it yourself. From now on I will block anyone who comes to my blog with this kind of attitude. No "I miss when you used to draw Sun and Moon" or "For the good old days!". I will block you, no exceptions.