#those last two tags are just in case
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hightowerz · 9 months ago
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baela and rhaena i’m so sorry. y’all deserve better than your mom dying a horrible death, your dad fucking and marrying his niece immediately after your said mom’s funeral, and being a glorified cheerleader and babysitter for your dad’s niece. respectively. like oh my god.
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post-punk-revival · 7 months ago
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Which song is your #6 or #14 or whatever isn't interesting to me; I wanna hear where in your list the first song from each of your top 5 artists shows up. Or the last one
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there is so much in Epic that isn't mythologically accurate (Aeolus's island being in the sky, the sirens not being birds, Odysseus not arriving back on Ithaca and interacting with the suitors in disguise, etc.) and people don't have a problem with it. they treat Epic as its own canon and story. but the minute you start to look at how Calypso and Odysseus interact in Epic specifically, people will suddenly remember there's source material and bring up stuff we don't have concrete evidence she did in the musical
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fishareglorious · 1 year ago
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Vertin Nolastname suavest little dude in this side of Ohio
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burinazar · 10 months ago
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Mmph. It’s been a while and I didn’t realize I would still be excessively annoyed/affected by people with negative things to say about my OTP, but I am, I guess.
If it helps to add context, these comments were on a post where an account had reposted (without permission) some sweet gift art of the ship made especially for me, so I may be inclined to take it more personally for that reason. >__>
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vampiricsheep · 1 year ago
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so since I may be free this summer after all, would anyone be interested in an RP event that's a potluck? I've been wanting to do it for ages but there's never any interest compared to other themes
for a discord rp, I would make a separate server explicitly for this purpose so you don't have to be in any guilds or anything! I would also delete the server (or at least channel, if people would like an event-planning server long-term) after a week - enough time for people to read over their stuff but not preserved forever and ever.
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microscopicsalt · 1 year ago
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I’m having a good time with Side Order, honestly.
Sure, I haven’t gone past 20F and making some of the same mistakes, but it’s just making me want to keep trying, which is much better than how Octo Expansion made me feel. I think it’s the randomness of it that really helps. And I haven’t gotten to a point where I feel lost or hopeless in my attempts to scale the spire.
I also know the ending though, but that’s because my brother finished it and I was sitting right next to him, so I know what to expect at the end. I genuinely think that’s helping me. Obviously I’m not going to spoil it, Side Order hasn’t even been out for a week yet, but I’m still tagging this as spoilers. (The fact that when you first start Side Order the Spire of Order has only 10 floors is, to me, already kind of a spoiler, and I don’t want to spoil anyone who wants to go in as blind as possible.)
Anyway, just wanted to share. I’m trying to 100% Pearl’s palette first, then I’m gonna go through and do all of them. I’m not excited for certain ones, though. Not gonna say who, but I am NOT good with chargers.
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pyrriax · 2 years ago
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hey guys im back at it again with the horrible levels of s4 zam brainrot. um.
did i manage to somehow make this song about him in my head? yes! yes i did. and i cannot be normal about it.
#haunted ecosystem#genuinely when youre insane enough about your blorbos everything is about them. this is one of those cases#also i might be writing some more things. and probably watching some vods.#im writing something to post as a general christmas gift fic (as i've done for the last like. two years? in my heart at least) alongside#the two event fics i have in the works PLUS the twb flash prompt event im participating in :)#expect some more bizarre concept fics soon i think! i might also pick up some older threads that i havent touched#i think it'll be fun since my muse is definitely leaning toward writing zam. i love writing him honestly#i have a thing for distinctly pathetic and paranoid characters (see: my adoration for outsiders!apo & pandora [oc])#who knew i'd enjoy writing characters i relate to#is it weird to say that the general concept of asomatous and the stuff i want to write related to it is very near to my heart. and like#its very personal. its inspired by my experiences you see. the concept of losing sight of reality in isolation and also just#the bugs. i never had a moment with bug pinning but i did have a problem with collecting the corpses of animals i found dead#once spring rolls around im going to work on processing them and giving them proper display and love#AAANYWAYS#ohhhh my god i should finish up bedrock shards and bloody garden#those two are my og fics for this fandom. i want to complete them and share them even if they arent fully how i view the characters now#i think its interesting to share and show initial impressions and also show how i wasn't fully sure about these guys#(also i love how i didnt understand the concept and mechanics of the cleansing but its still Present because it was before s5 so like#it was either s3 or abandon canon and i was sooooo afraid of leaving canon behind in favor of exploring)#my talking in tags habit is showing again.... woops#does anybody even read these? i have no clue#if you do i am so sorry for my habit of talking about dead animals. good lord. it happens so often#i forget it isnt normal until people point it out. having to explain that *yes* i collect dead things is. fun#oh man i have some coyote skulls i really need to clean at some point. its just a pain since i need to get the cage out again and prep them#since the method that got recommended to me is actually bad for the bones (since it involves essentially cooking them which softens#the bones and makes them a lot more likely to break or splinter. so i need to leave them out or bury them and im still not sure which wil#work better. it really depends on if spring is going to be dry as hell again or not. im rambling AND off topic. woops)#Spotify
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kathegoose · 1 year ago
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good afternoon LOSERS i think i will,announce that i am goig to do some cool art requests maybe. crawl in my inbox and give me stuff to draw while i FISTFIGHT ARTBLOCK!
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i will try my best to do most of them, ohhoouuhg
NOTE: talked a lot in tags, maybe go read because i Don't feel like rewriting it all here i think they're taggy enough to stay in tags
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gumii-bearr · 5 months ago
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❝ i'm already yours ❞
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summary: megumi learns to be honest with you and tell you what he wants.
featuring... megumi fushiguro
content warning: MDNI (18+), afab!reader, angst, fluff, some rude guy (ino slander im SORRY), mentions of alcohol, mentions of megumi's ex, fighting, megumi still being emotionally stunted but hes learning, ozawa x itadori mentions, maki x yuta mentions, nobara is a menace, megumi being such a cute lil baby, swearing, smutttt, fingering, mirror sex, missionary, p in v sex, loss of virginity, belly bulge, unprotected sex (dont do that!), pulling-out method, subspace a bit, squirting, aftercare!!
word count: 9.3k
author's note: oh BABY, this one GOOOOOD
chapter one
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Megumi Fushiguro is starting to really like you.
Like, more than just ‘like-like’, as you so eloquently put it those few months ago while lying naked in his bed. Megumi’s heart races at the sight of you. Granted, that has always been the case but he’s starting to think about you all the time.
You still sleep in your separate rooms, though you’ll occasionally sneak into his room in the late hours of the night holding your pillow and softly chanting ‘sleepover’. And Megumi’s heart just swells, moving aside in his tiny single bed to make room for you to curl into his side, your leg thrown over his waist and your hand clutching his shirt.
You are his first thought every morning.
Whether you’re still sleeping beside him, cooking breakfast, doing your makeup in your room or already at work or college; you are all he thinks about. Most of the time he thinks about good things, but sometimes he thinks about the not-so-good things. 
Like if you’re getting tired of him.
Or if you think he’s too possessive or too clingy or too needy or too much–
“I’m home!” you exclaim from the front door. You have your hands full holding take-out bags, your apron still tied around your waist (Megumi pictures you walking around in public still wearing the brown-coloured apron with the little bear on it and your name tag still pinned to your shirt because you always forget to take it off). 
Megumi is quick to appear in the hallway, effortlessly lifting the bags from your hands as you attempt to kick your shoes off, hopping on one foot and cursing like a sailor when they don’t cooperate. 
“Hi,” Megumi greets, voice soft and a little tired. 
He always waits up for you, even when you have a midnight closing shift and he’s been awake since five in the morning. When he knows you’re finishing late, he makes sure to text you at exactly 12:16, a minute after your shift actually ends. He likes to make sure you’re okay, even if he won’t admit it.
“Hi, Gumi,” you beam, a wide smile on your face as you press up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. You giggle when his face flushes slightly and he averts his gaze to avoid you catching him blushing. But you think it’s so unbelievably cute. 
“How ws’ work?” He asks, dropping the take-out bags on the counter in the kitchen.
“Boring,” you whine, dropping your car keys (Megumi’s car keys) in the bowl by the door and shrugging off your jacket. “Some guy had me re-make his coffee, like, five times at 11:55! How rude.” You mumble the last part with a scowl on your face.
“Mm, you should have just pretended to remake it,” Megumi mutters, unpacking the take-out from the plastic bags and grabbing some plates for the two of you.
“Oh, I did,” you reply with a cheeky grin, “after the fourth try, I just shook it and gave it back to him… It seemed to work ‘cus he said it was perfect.”
Megumi gives an amused smile, “that’s my girl.”
You smile sweetly at the nickname, padding over to Megumi and wiggling your hands through his arms to wrap your hands around his waist, pressing your front to his broad back.
“I missed you, Gumi,” you nuzzle into his warmth just between his shoulder blades.
“Missed you too,” Megumi says after a beat, lifting a hand to squeeze your arm still wrapped around his waist.
Megumi seems tired, though his voice is laced with something else a little sadder and you know when Megumi gets like that it’s because he’s thinking. And you’ve been so busy with work and the rapidly approaching final exams, that you haven’t been home as much as you want to.
“What’s wrong?” You ask quietly, twisting yourself around Megumi to peer up at his tired face.
“M’fine,” Megumi replies after a short pause. 
You frown, “...what’re you thinking about then?”
Megumi hates how you know him. After the catastrophe that was his confession to you, you’ve been more sensitive to and observant of Megumi’s changes in behaviour. You can now so easily tell the difference between Megumi’s genuine exhaustion and when his thoughts start to spiral into insecurity and anxiousness. 
“Just stuff.” Ah, Megumi Fushiguro, a man of many words.
“You wanna tell me about it?” You don’t ever push. Sometimes Megumi does want to talk about it, other times he just wants to curl up on the couch with you to distract himself. It worries you no matter what though.
Megumi knows he should talk about it with you. He’s been trying really hard to tell you about things that are bothering him since when he used to talk about it with his ex, she would rattle off insults about him being too clingy or too nervous or too paranoid. 
But you’re different.
You pay attention to him, holding his hand so gently and letting him get the words out on his own, no matter how long it takes or how much he stumbles over his thoughts. 
It took him about forty minutes to ask you if you’d be his girlfriend.
“And I… I think that–” Megumi cuts himself off, running a hand through his messy hair and avoiding eye contact with you by staring at the ceiling then the floor.
Your hand holding his is making him even more nervous. Your thumb strokes over his knuckles, your knee touching his as the two of you sit on the couch, the movie you were watching long forgotten.
“Do you… Is it okay with you if we, uh. Fuck… We’re dating, right?”
You chuckle softly, “yeah, we’re dating,” you ponder for a moment. “You’ve been taking me on dates, right?”
Megumi gives an amused huff, “that’s what they were intended as.”
“Okay, then I’m confident in saying that yes, we’re dating,” you giggle. 
Megumi always over-thinks the plans he makes. Wondering if you will like the picnic he planned (with the help of Nobara and Yuko who were sending him far too many pinterest screenshots at 3am), wondering if you’d like the restaurant he picked (you’re determined to try almost everything on the menu and claim he’ll have to roll you home), and wondering if you still like him.
He knows it’s irrational. You are always so excited to see him at the end of every day, always so excited to tell him about your day and ask about his even if he spent the whole day at home.
“Will you… Would you want me to be your boyfriend?” Fuck. He asked it wrong. “Wait, I meant will you be my girlfriend?”
The smile that spills across your face is so happy and so bright and you crash tackle him onto the couch, squealing in delight and pressing kisses to his face as Megumi just chuckles (mostly with relief). “I would love to be your girlfriend!”
“Really?”
“Of course! …It was so worth the forty-five minutes of stammering–”
“Hey!”
“M’just thinking about you,” Megumi finally forces out, a nervous pit forming in his stomach as his eyes flicker around the room, unable to meet your gaze.
“Good things, I hope,” you reply, slipping your hands into Megumi’s and playing with his warm fingers. You know deep down he’s feeling anxious and worried about things regarding you and your relationship, you know none of it is malicious because that’s just the way Megumi is; always thinking.
Megumi shrugs, “js’ worried about me being… too paranoid and stuff.”
Your expression softens and you reach a hand up to cup Megumi’s jaw, gently forcing his head to tilt down and his gaze to meet yours. Your eyes flicker between his and you smile softly, “you’re not too paranoid, Megumi. You’re a good person and you worry about doing and saying the right thing.”
Megumi chews on the inside of his cheek, “...you sure?”
“Always,” you beam. “You never have to worry about me… ‘cus I like-like you,” you giggle quietly.
Megumi’s lips tug into a smile, “I like-like you too.”
You press up on your tiptoes, hands snaking around Megumi’s neck to toy with the shorter baby hairs at his nape. His eyes glance down to your lips, still tinted pinkish with the strawberry-flavoured lipgloss you love so much. 
You smile before leaning up to press a slow peck to his lips, revelling in the way Megumi gently pulls you closer by your waist, hands so big yet so gentle as they hold you close to his body. You taste like strawberries, some of your lipgloss smearing onto Megumi’s lips.
You chuckle lightly, lifting your thumb to rub the gloss off his lips, “Ozawa asked if we wanted to hang out Saturday night too.”
Megumi moves some of your hair out of your face, “doing what?”
“Mm, bowling and arcade games? Maybe some drinks? I thought it would be nice to hang out with them since we haven’t in a while,” you shrug. 
Megumi hums, “if you want to.”
You smile softly, “only if you want to.”
“I never want to.”
“Yeah, I know,” you chuckle. Megumi isn’t exactly social, he would prefer to stay cooped up in the apartment with you, both of you lounging around in your pyjamas and watching movies or playing video games (a.k.a. Megumi playing CoD while you play Animal Crossing). 
Megumi watches your expression falter a little and his heart squeezes, “but I’ll go.”
Your face lights up, “really?”
“Mhm,” he hums, “I’ll win you a plushie in the claw machine.”
“A Hello Kitty one?”
“Sure.”
“Yay!”
You practically sprint toward Yuko when you see her. She’s sitting at a bar table next to Yuji, his hand resting on her thigh, but she promptly swats his hand away and leaps off the barstool to tackle you in a crushing hug.
“Eee! Y/N, I’ve missed you!” Yuko sways you from side to side, able to bear hug you with how much taller she is than you (and with her chunky heels on). “I haven’t seen you in, like, so long.”
“I saw you three days ago,” you giggle against her shoulder. 
“Yeah, but that was work, it doesn’t count,” she tuts, pulling away from you and giving you a disapproving look. 
“Right, of course,” you roll your eyes playfully.
Yuko peers behind you at your bored-looking boyfriend who stands a few feet away from you with his hands stuffed in his pockets and your adorable pink kitty bag slung over his shoulder, “hi, Fushiguro… cute purse.”
Megumi sticks his hand up in a half-assed wave, “m’trying something different,” he jokes with a bored expression. Anyone who didn’t know Megumi would think he was being dead serious with how his jokes tend to come across.
Yuko chuckles, “come on, we’ve been waiting for you guys forever.” Yuko tugs on your hand and you reach your own hand out for Megumi, who catches you easily with his long strides and laces his fingers with yours. 
“Heeey!” Yuji drawls, “what took you dorks so long?”
“Traffic, you know,” you shrug. 
That’s a lie; Megumi was too busy laying you down on the dining room table so he could stick his head under your skirt and eat you out because you looked so damn cute in your pretty outfit.
“Sure,” Yuji gives a Megumi a shit-eating grin, to which Megumi rolls his eyes and moves to pull a chair out for you at the table.
“You want a drink?” Megumi asks, peering down at you as he helps you into your chair.
“Mmm, surprise me,” you smile, pressing a kiss to Megumi’s cheek and inwardly beaming at how his cheeks dust a little pink at your affection, especially in front of his friends.
“Sure,” Megumi ruffles your hair, but not enough to ruin it because he knows you spent a lot of time making it look pretty in the bathroom mirror. Megumi promptly disappears into the huge crowd forming around the bar (given it’s a Saturday night, you’re not exactly surprised).
“You two are so cute,” Yuko nudges your shoulder playfully.
You smile, “he’s cute.”
Nobara makes gagging sounds from across the table, “boo, get a room.”
Maki elbows her, “you’re just jealous ‘cus you don’t have a boyfriend,” she says cooly, taking a sip of her martini.
“Rude,” Nobara retorts, dramatically rubbing her shoulder.
“S’okay, Nobara, we’ll fine you a boyfriend,” Yuko chuckles.
“Ew, no thanks,” Nobara scoffs, “men are gross.”
“That’s not very nice,” Yuji whines, his voice muffled from the mouthful of burger shoved in his face.
Nobara raises her brows and points at him, “see?”
Yuko chuckles and picks up a napkin, gently wiping the sauce and crumbs from Yuji’s cheek. He just sits there with a little smile on his face (if he was a dog his tail would be wagging happily, let’s be honest).
You chat with everyone for a while, finally meeting Maki’s boyfriend Yuta and his friend Inumaki (who doesn’t talk much from what you’ve gathered). But as soon as the boys leave to grab more drinks from the bar (they noticed Megumi was at the front of the line and decided to hijack his spot), Nobara and Yuko lean in toward you while Maki rolls her eyes.
“So…” Nobara drawls, scooting her chair closer to yours.
You look at your friends, the tips of your ears feeling hot from the sudden attention. “What?” You huff out a nervous laugh.
“You and Fushiguro done the ol’...” Nobara wiggles her brows childishly to emphasise her point. 
You roll your eyes playfully, “that’s none of your business.”
“So that’s a no,” Maki chimes in matter-of-factly.
You’ve only met Maki a handful of times but you like her. She’s quiet and intimidating but she always offers sound advice as opposed to Nobara who lives for disrupting your peace. 
But no, you and Megumi haven’t had sex yet. You’ve come close a few times but Megumi is quick to hold back, instead kissing down your tits and your tummy to eat you out or slipping his fingers into your panties to get you off. 
It’s not that you don’t want to have sex. You absolutely do. You don’t want anyone other than Megumi to be the one to take your virginity. 
But Megumi avoids it and he always seems to be battling some kind of inner turmoil when you hint at him having sex with you. Whether you ask if he’s got a condom or you reach for the waistband of his pants– he’s quick to redirect you and you want to ask him, you really do, but it makes you wonder if he’s unhappy with you or maybe he simply doesn’t want to have sex with you.
You try not to be insecure about it because Megumi loves being between your legs, he loves touching you behind closed doors and worshipping you with kisses and lovebites. And he loves it even more when you’re on your knees in front of him, his hands wrapped around your hair and pulling into a makeshift ponytail so you can take him into your mouth uninterrupted (you’re getting pretty good at it, you think).
But it still makes feel insecure.
“You should do it whenever you’re ready,” Yuko smiles warmly, her hand holding yours. You love your best friend to pieces, always the voice of reason in these situations.
But the thing is; you are ready. It’s Megumi who holds back.
“Yeah, I know,” you sigh, squeezing Yuko’s hand gently. 
“I got you this… thing,” Megumi suddenly appears behind you, placing down a fizzy sweet-looking pink drink topped with edible glitter and a little umbrella. “The bartender said it was popular.”
You smile in delight, “oh it’s so pretty! Thank you, Gumi,” You turn in your chair and plant a hard kiss to the underside of Megumi’s jaw. 
“‘Welcome,” Megumi replies, nursing his own drink (which looks exceptionally normal compared to yours). 
Megumi pulls a chair around to sit beside you, basically forcing Nobara to move over (who attempts to put up a fight but Megumi simply moves her himself). You rest your head on Megumi’s shoulder and he goes a little stiff at the simple form of affection.
Megumi isn’t big on PDA, he prefers to show you how much he cares for you in the privacy of your apartment or when he’s confident that the two of you are alone. But you like showing him off, holding his hand, peppering his face with kisses, hugging him from behind as you wait in line at the grocery store. You’re a little snuggle bug and Megumi is slowly, slowly, getting used to it.
“You gonna win me a Hello Kitty plushie, right?” you tease, wrapping your hands around Megumi’s muscular arm.
“Even if it takes me five tries,” he replies with an amused smile.
It takes him more than ten.
“This shit is a scam,” Megumi grunts, giving an annoyed kick to the neon purple machine filled with soft pastel plushies.
You stand beside him laughing into your hand, “s’okay, Gumi–”
“I’ve spent like forty dollars,” he huffs, “on one machine.”
“Come on, we should play something else,” you tug on his arm, “I already have about four of every sanrio plushie anyway,” you shrug.
Megumi’s jaw clenches and he sighs in frustration, eventually giving in to your protests and letting you tug him off the claw machine to play some other game. The arcade is huge, there are plenty of other games to spend forty dollars on instead of a goofy claw machine.
“We should play space invaders– oh! Or DDR!” you beam.
“I don’t have the coordination for DDR… or the energy,” Megumi grumbles.
You giggle, “right, let’s play space invaders.”
Megumi trails behind you the whole evening, playing games with you and absolutely refusing to let you pay for any of them. You always pull some coins out or your card and he promptly swats your hand away or wraps his strong arm around your middle, pinning your arms to your sides and lifting you away from the machine so he can pay.
You appreciate him doing this with you considering he doesn’t like being social all that much (all his friends think it’s crazy you managed to get him to come along tonight). But really, you know Megumi isn’t doing it because he wants to, he’s doing it because you want to and it makes your heart swell and your body want to melt into a puddle of happiness.
“Oh, boo, this is a scam,” you mutter to yourself as you attempt to win yourself a My Melody plushie in a new claw machine. Megumi was dragged off by Yuji to play some shooting game with Yuta and Inumaki and you snuck off to play another claw machine (and pay without him knowing). You saw that the plushie looked loose and you were sure you could win it if you nudged the claw just right.
You gave up after three tries and grabbed your bag to rejoin your boyfriend and his friends on the other side of the arcade. You spot your pretty boyfriend quickly, giggling as you hear him bickering with Yuji over not shooting straight.
“Uh, hey,” a voice appears beside you.
“Hm?” You peer to the side and notice a taller guy wearing a beanie looking at you, he’s holding a plushie out toward you.
“I saw you trying to win that pink bunny thing…” he holds out the My Melody plushie you were attempting to win.
“Oh,” you beam, “that’s really sweet!”
He laughs softly, “that’s okay… I’m Ino.”
“I’m Y/N–”
You suddenly feel a looming presence behind you. You peer up at Megumi, his eyes harsh and narrowed toward this guy talking to you.
“Uh, hi?” Ino forces out.
“Can I help you?” Megumi deadpans, his jaw slightly clenched in annoyance.
Ino barely offers him a glance, “I was just giving this pretty girl the plushie thing she was trying to win–”
“She doesn’t want it,” Megumi forces his lips into a condiscending smile.
Ino looks between the two of you before clearing his throat, “boyfriend, huh?”
“Mhm,” Megumi hums, his hand snaking around your waist and grabbing at your hip.
“Right,” Ino nods, “sorry, man.” He doesn’t seem sorry with how he mockingly laughs at Megumi’s protectiveness of you.
“Whatever,” Megumi huffs. 
Ino promptly disappears, handing the plushie off to some other drunk girl on his way out. You chew on the inside of your lip before turning to Megumi, “Gumi–”
“What?” Megumi spits, a little harsher than he meant it.
You press your lips together, “nevermind,” you sigh, forcing his arm off you and leaving to join Yuji, Yuko and the others, Megumi trudging behind with his hands in his pockets and feeling his mood rapidly plummeting into a mix of annoyance and insecurity. 
Megumi’s jaw is tight with tension and he feels like shit because he didn’t watch his tone when he talked to you. He gets protective of you and perhaps a little jealous. And he knows it’s stupid being annoyed and upset over not being able to win you a fucking plushie from a children’s arcade game, but he promised you and this guy managed to do it in one try and actively sought you out to give it to you.
“You two okay?” Yuko asks curiously, almost startling Megumi as he stands at yet another claw machine.
Yuko saw the way your mood immediately changed after your interaction with that guy, instantly becoming a little sad and not as bubbly and talkative as your little group moved around to play more games.
Sure Megumi wasn’t always super affectionate toward you in public, but he wasn’t even staying near you or holding your hand anymore.
“Fine,” Megumi retorts, eyes still glued to the pink plushie he’s trying to win you.
“...Did she upset you?”
“No.”
“Did you upset her?” 
“I don’t know,” Megumi shrugs.
Yuko sighs, “maybe you should talk to her.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to me.”
Yuko lets out an amused laugh, “Fushiguro, she always wants to talk to you.”
Megumi feels a pang in his chest at that, feeling bad that he didn’t even attempt to drag you off to the bathroom or outside so he could talk to you. He’s still trying to get better at the talking, he was just fucking embarrassed. 
The machine suddenly chimes, a little song playing as a plushie falls in behind the collection door.
“Hey, you won,” Yuko beams.
Megumi bends down, pulling the plushie out of the machine and scoffing; it wasn’t the My Melody plushie he as aiming for.
Yuko laughs, plucking the bored-looking penguin plushie from his hand and holding it up, “I see the resemblance.”
“Who even is this?” Megumi takes it back, squeezing the soft toy in his large hands,
“It’s Badtz Maru,” Yuko replies, “looks a bit like you.”
“Mm,” Megumi makes a noise of annoyance. 
Yuko nudges his shoulder, “she might like it even more,” she sings softly. 
Megumi walks around the arcade looking for you, peering around corners and looking through the claw machine section in search of you. He can’t find you. He spots Itadori, Inumaki, Yuta and Maki but can’t find you anywhere. He asks Yuko and Nobara and they shake their heads with a shrug.
How did no one know where you were?
“Where’d she go?” Nobara looks around for you.
“I’ll call her,” Yuko offers.
“S’okay, I’ll call her,” Megumi replies, pressing on your contact and holding his phone to his ear. The call rings before your voice message comes through. Megumi grunts in annoyance. He starts to worry as he texts you a few times, asking where you are. You don’t respond in the record speed you normally do and he shoves his phone back into his pocket.
He walks around the arcade a few more times, then he finally spots you.
He relaxes a little at the sight of you, but it’s short lived when he spots that fucking guy again. He’s leaning against the wall, basically trapping you in a corner as you attempt to curl away from him, your back flush against the wall.
“U-Uh, I should get back to my friends,” you laugh nervously, your hands wrapping tightly around the strap of your purse.
“Lemme walk you t’them then,” he offers.
You look around anxiously, chewing on the inside of your cheek. “Uh, no thanks, I can go myself–” Ino suddenly puts a hand on your upper arm.
Megumi surges forward, slightly blinded by anger and annoyance as he pushes the guy away from you, forcing some space between you. Ino stumbles back, clearly intoxicated with how he struggles to catch himself, his hands flailing around to catch himself against the wall.
“She said back off,” Megumi spits, forcing himself in front of you protectively.
“I ws’ just talking to her,” Ino slurs back.
“And she doesn’t want to talk to you,” Megumi retorts, forcing him onto his feet and half-pushing him away. “So fuck off.”
Ino scoffs, “whatever, bro. Was just tryna be nice.” Megumi rolls his eyes at the shitty excuse, jaw clenched angrilly until the guy finally leaves, stumbling off back to the bar. 
Megumi suddenly hears you sniffle and his expression instantly softens, shoulders relaxing as he spins around to look at you. You have your back pressed against the wall, your face a little flushed with embarrassment. Your hands are pressed to your face, hiding yourself from him.
“Baby?” Megumi coos, reaching a gentle hand out to pull your hands away from your pretty face.
“M’sorry,” you mumble, your bottom lip quivering as your eyes gloss over with tears.
Megumi’s heart sinks and he sighs, pulling you to his chest to crush you in a hug, a hand stroking the back of your hair. You press your face into his chest, staying there for a moment and melting into his warmth. 
“M’sorry I was mean,” he says against your hair.
“You weren’t mean,” you mumble, “I was being dumb.”
“You’re not dumb, Y/N. You thought he was doing a nice thing for you,” Megumi replies. He pauses for a moment before deciding to admit his thoughts to you, “...I was js’ jealous.”
You pull away from him, a bit of your makeup staining the fabric of his black shirt. “Why were you jealous?”
You never thought Megumi could be jealous. He always seems so laidback and bored that you assumed everything was water off a duck’s back to him. But you were obviously sorely mistaken.
“M’always jealous when it’s you,” Megumi shrugs, eyes glancing away as he admits it to you, his face dusted a light pink.
You grin cutely, “you like-like me,” you poke his chest.
“Shut up,” Megumi mumbles, earning a soft laugh from you. He suddenly remembers the Badtz Maru plushie in his other hand. He lifts it up toward you, “I won this for you.”
You pout, “really?”
“Mhm,” Megumi nods, handing it to you.
You squish the softness in your hands before giggling, “looks like you.”
“I don’t see it,” he grumbles.
“He could be your son!”
“It’s a plushie, Y/N.”
Megumi has a winning streak after the two of you make up, winning you a bag of sweets, a pair of earbuds in that impossible to win string-cutting game, and wins you a Hello Kitty plushie that is almost half the size of you. 
You carry it around with a big smile plastered across your face and earning jealous glances from other people who have obviously been trying to win the massive toy. You walk around with it under your arm, your other hand in Megumi’s.
“You guys ready to go?” Yuji asks, “‘cus I am officially broke.”
Yuko giggles, “okay, lets go, baby.”
Yuji plants a kiss on Yuko’s nose, then another on her cheek, then another on her forehead before peppering kisses in a circle around her face, his hands resting on her hips as she giggles.
You smile softly at them, your hand unintentionally squeezing Megumi’s.
“Yuck, get a room!” Nobara gags. 
Megumi watches you smile at your friends, resting your head against his shoulder. He feels his heart thumping in his chest, suddenly feeling the urge to show you the same affection. He doesn’t like PDA, he thinks its gross and people should just save it for the privacy of their home. But he can see how people like it, being able to show off their partner in public so people know they belong to them and no one else.
You feel Megumi’s eyes on you and you peer up at him, “you okay, Gumi?”
He suddenly presses a soft kiss to your lips, his hand coming up to cup your jaw, thumb stroking over your cheekbone. You smile against his lips and he pulls away, planting another kiss to your cheek then your hair.
You grin at him when he pulls away from you, “what was that for?”
Megumi shrugs, “I just wanted to.”
You point your finger at him, “who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?”
Megumi rolls his eyes, “oh, ha-ha.”
You sigh with relief once you kick your heels off at the door, your shoes landing haphazardly in the corner as you lug your new plushies down the hall. Megumi follows you, dropping his keys in the bowl on the side table in the hallway. 
You and Megumi have made up, but Megumi still has something on his mind. He knows exactly what it is but he feels weird bringing it up again since you’ve already worked it out. 
But you can tell there’s something on his mind.
You drop your plushies in your room, putting your Badtz Marui plush on your bed so you can sleep next to it (it can be your Megumi stand-in when he’s busy or away). Megumi is sitting on the couch when you come out of your room, he’s scrolling on his phone absentmindedly, jaw tight with tension.
You pad over to him, gently pulling his head back to rest on the back of the couch. You peer over him, your hands gently resting on his shoulders. 
“You okay, Gumi?” You ask, lifting your hands to stroke your thumbs across his jaw.
“M’fine,” he replies.
You frown, “don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Not tell me,” you sigh. “I can tell when you’re sad or you’re thinking about stuff, I want you to be able to talk to me.”
“I really am fine, Y/N,” he huffs, pullin away from your hands and getting up off the couch. 
“I’m not your ex, Megumi,” you stare at the back of his head. 
Megumi visibly stiffens, “...I know that.”
“Do you?” You ask without thinking, “because I really care about you n’ I’ve been trying to be patient and understanding but I–” you cut yourself off, sighing sadly.
Megumi turns to look at you, his teeth gnawing on the inside of his cheek like he always does when he’s nervous. “I know you’re not her, Y/N. You’ve never made me feel the way she has.”
Your shoulders relax and you glance away. You still get insecure about Megumi having an ex, mostly because she’s got to see parts of him you haven’t yet, but in the same breath, she was awful to him and is part of the reason he’s wound so tight and struggles to talk.
You don’t even think when it falls from your mouth, “why don’t you want to have sex with me?”
Megumi’s eyes widen and he feels his heart in his throat. He stiffens, unable to form anything other than– “W-What?”
You sigh, “I know it’s stupid. I just… I wanna have sex… with you. And it just seems like you don’t want to… with me.”
Megumi’s heart aches painfully. Of course he wants to have sex with you. He wants to every day like some kind of maniac, but you’re too good for him (at least that’s what he thinks). And it’s important to him that your first time is perfect and special and Megumi can be a fucking wreck a lot of the time, unable to communicate simple things with you, unable to convey his feelings in a way that’s coherent and not total gibberish.
He can’t shake the fear of him being too needy and paranoid toward you. You’re so special to him and he fears losing you. Fears that one wrong move will send you packing or make you hate him.
“I…” Megumi squeezes his hands into fists, trying to release the tension inside his chest. “Y/N, I do want to.”
You peer up at him, eyes glossed over, “...I’ve beent trying to like… hint at it but you–”
“I’m scared,” Megumi sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I mean… I’m not scared, m’just worried.”
Your brows furrow, “worried?”
“I want it to be special for you,” Megumi admits, “I’m just always thinking that I’m not special enough for you.”
Your heart cracks and you feel like crying and wrapping Megumi up and crushing him in a bear hug and covering him in kisses. Because how could he not think he’s special enough for you?
“Gumi,” you sigh out his nickname and he wipes his eyes. You pout, padding around the couch to press your body against him, wrapping your arms around his waist in a tight hug.
He hugs you back, chin resting on your head gently. 
“You’re perfect for me, Gumi,” you murmur. “There’s no one else I trust more in the world than you.”
Megumi squeezes you a little tighter, “I’m not good at talking.”
You squeeze your eyes shut, “I know.”
“I want to be better at it, ‘cus you’re my priority now,” he says, heart beating rapidly in his chest at his confession. “And I’m worried that I’m too paranoid or needy… I don’t want to– I can’t lose you.” You pull away from him a fraction, a tear slipping down your cheek. Megumi catches it, “don’t cry. Please.”
You sniffle, “I don’t want to lose you either, Megumi.” You wrap your arms around his neck, his strong arms still wrapped around the small of your back. “But you need to talk to me, even if you think it’s stupid… Because I tell you stupid stuff all the time and you still listen.”
Megumi chuckles softly, “yeah, I know.”
You cup his cheek, beaming as he leans into your touch, “offer yourself a little kindness, Gumi. You’re too hard on yourself.”
He knows you’re right, you’re always right. 
He nods, “I’m gonna try,” he sighs.
“You’re already doing good,” you praise, “I’m still going to be here no matter what.”
“Promise?”
You grin, “I promise.” You hook your pinky with his.
“Then I have something else I need to tell you,” he forces out.
You frown, “okay…”
“I didn’t like that that guy grabbed you,” Megumi huffs, “it made me really fucking mad.”
You chuckle softly, “you handled it, though.”
“But still,” Megumi’s jaw clenches. “Asshole.”
“You don’t like that some other guy touched me?”
“I wanted him dead right then and there,” Megumi’s arms squeeze around you a little tighter. 
“Mm, that’s pretty hot,” you giggle.
“...Hot?” Megumi seems confused.
You shrug, “yeah… I like that my boyfriend wants me all to himself.”
Megumi pauses, any words that he could possibly think of getting caught in his throat. Your giggles die in your chest as Megumi’s steely eyes bore into you, an intensity settling in the air.
“Gumi?”
Megumi’s eyes flicker down to your lips, “m’gonna kiss you.”
You grin, “I’d never be opposed to that,” you whisper.
Megumi’s lips are on yours in an instant, his big hands resting on your hips and pulling you against him. One of his hands rests on the back of your neck, tilting your head to the side to deepen the kiss. He forces a whine from your lips when his tongue swipes across your glossed lips. He pushes his tongue into your mouth, slowly backing you up against the wall and knocking some poor unsuspecting vase onto the floor.
It smashes on the ground and you yelp in surprise, “G-Gumi–”
“We’ll fucking clean it later,” he grunts, forcing your jaw to tilt upward so he can kiss you again. Your hands squeeze the fabric of his shirt, your tits pressing against his chest as he grinds his hard-on against your thigh. 
The two of you awkwardly crash through your apartment before you finally get to your bedroom door, giggling at how eager Megumi is to get you onto your bed. Your bed is a little bigger than his and always makes it easier for cuddle sessions and Megumi always looks so cute with his dark hair and dark clothes in your pretty pink, white and pastel room. 
Your hands tug at the hem of his shirt, pushing the fabric up his abdomen and chest. Megumi helps you, finally pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it across the room. His lips connect with yours again, forcing you back until the back of your thighs hit the mattress. Megumi lets go of you, letting you fall back.
You giggle, scooting yourself up your bed and eyeing your strikingly hot boyfriend with his pretty abs out and staring down at you like he wants to devour you. Megumi just stares at you, his eyes raking over your pretty spread thighs, peeking at your lacy pink panties under your skirt, almost salivating at how pretty your tits look almost spilling out of your top– his eyes meet yours, your pretty eyes wide with lust and just pure adoration.
You are his favourite person.
“I love you.”
You pause, lips parting slightly as Megumi’s words finally sink in. You press up on your elbows, eyes widening, “what did you say?”
Megumi presses his lips together, wondering if he should back track. But no, he needs to be honest with you and himself, he owes it to you and to himself. “I said I love you.”
“You love me?” you pause, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout.
Megumi crawls onto the bed, body hovering over yours and his hands pinned on other side of your head as he just looks at you, taking in every part of you. “You told me I should be honest.”
You beam, “Megumi–”
“Don’t say anything,” he says softly, “js’ let it stay out there for a minute.”
You close your mouth, a smile tugging at your lips. Megumi grins at you, the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen, before he leans his head down, pressing his lips to yours. It’s slow and so loving, he’s gentle with you as one hand comes up to cradle your face.
He pulls away after a minute and you smile, “I love you too.”
Megumi pauses before he lets out an amused laugh, “yeah?”
“Yeah,” you giggle.
“Say it again,” he teases.
“I love you,” you whisper, holding his face in your hands. Megumi leans down, pressing a wet kiss to your neck. You tilt your head up to give him more access as his teeth gently nip at your skin.
“Again.”
“I love you, Gumi,” you whine out as he sucks on a particularly sensitive part of your neck, leaving a angry red mark on your skin. 
Megumi’s hand slips under your top, pushing it up your tummy and over your tits. You help him pull your top over your head, leaving you in your skirt and your pretty pink lacy bra that makes your boobs sit like pretty soft pillows against your chest.
“S’beautiful,” Megumi mutters, trailing kisses down your neck and down between your tits, his hand snaking under your body to unclasp your bra.
No matter how many times Megumi sees you naked, you still get nervous under how intense yet adoring his gaze is. You feel your heart hammer in your chest as Megumi toys with your hardened nipples, his eyes occasionally flickering up to your face to catch your gaze.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you whine.
Megumi chuckles, “like what? Like I love you?”
“Like you want to devour me,” you correct with an amused laugh.
“Mm, no promises,” he smiles, pressing a peck to your lips.
Megumi’s large veiny hand squeezes your soft breast, kneading the flesh in his hand while flicks his tongue over your hardened nipple, leaving hot wet kisses all over the pretty mound of skin. Your hand tangles in his hair, forcing his mouth down further. He gives a gentle bite to your skin, forcing a pretty whimper from your lips.
Megumi kisses down your tummy, one hand still squeezing your breast while the other trails up your thigh and underneath your skirt. You feel your skin prickle at the feeling of his gentle fingers trailing across your soft skin, his lips leaving a trail of wet kisses down your body.
You tug on Megumi’s wrist, forcing him back up your body, “what is it, baby?” He asks breathlessly.
You press a peck to his lips, “I wan’ you to touch me,” you murmur against his slightly chapped lips.
“Oh yeah?” Megumi asks, his tone a little teasing.
“Mhm,” you nod quickly.
Megumi chuckles, trailing his hands up the inside of your thigh and pressing his fingers against the damp patch forming on your panties, “mm, someone’s excited,” he teases.
“Shut up,” you mutter, forcing his lips back onto yours.
Megumi rubs against your clothed clit, feeling his cock twitch in his boxers at the sounds you were making because of him. The smell of your arousal lingers in the air of your room as Megumi forces your legs to spread open a little more, finally slipping his hand down your panties to feel your slick pussy against his fingers.
“S’wet, princess,” he murmurs against your cheek.
“All f’you,” you whine as Megumi nudges your clit with the tip of his middle finger.
Megumi pulls his hand from your panties, forcing you to whimper at the loss of contact but he quickly slips his fingers into the sides of your panties, pulling the soaked fabric down your legs and tossing them onto the floor. 
Megumi manhandles you into his lap, laying his upper body against your headboard and forcing you to sit between his legs with your back to his chest. 
“W-What are we doing?”
Megumi gently holds your jaw, forcing you to look at the mirror across the room in front of your bed, the same mirror you take your cute little outfit of the day photos in every day. You suddenly feel embarrassed seeing yourself so vulnerable. Your legs are spread, one knee hooked over Megumi’s muscular forearm while the other is propped up, forcing your soaked pussy lips open.
“Look how pretty you are,” Megumi mutters against your ear, his large hand squeezing at your tits.
“Gumi, this is embarrassing,” you whine.
Megumi presses a kiss to your cheek, “just watch.”
You press your mouth closed as Megumi trails his fingers down your tummy, dragging two of his fingers down your glistening slit. You throw your head against his shoulder as he nudges your neglected clit, fingertips circling the little bundle of nerves agonisingly slowly. 
“F-Faster, Gumi, please,” you moan, your hands squeezing Megumi’s strong thighs.
“Shh,” Megumi coos, “be patient, baby.”
Megumi slips his fingers down your slit, pressing his middle finger against your sopping hole. Your thighs instinctively spread apart further and Megumi slowly slips his finger inside you, his long finger dragging against your gummy walls. 
You whine, hand gripping his wrist as he starts to curl his finger inside you, pressing against that spongy spot inside you, “m-more.”
Megumi chuckles at your desperation, pressing a second finger into you. You whine at the burning stretch, subconsciously grinding your hips down on his fingers, your ass unknowingly grinding on his hard-on in his boxers. 
“Look at you,” Megumi mutters against your ear. 
Your eyes flicker up to your reflection. Your skin is covered in a thin sheen of sweat, your baby hairs are stuck to your forehead and Megumi’s eyes are glued to your cunt, watching his thick fingers disappear inside you. You whine, pussy clenching down on his fingers as he fucks them into you.
Megumi presses against the spongey spot inside you, the ball of his palm rubbing against your clit and making you fucking dizzy. You feel your tummy start to burn, your nails scraping against Megumi’s clothed thighs as your hips grind and roll against his hand.
“G-Gumi, m’gonna cum,” you whimper.
“S’okay, baby,” Megumi coos, “cum f’me.”
“N-No,” you force out, your hand wrapping around his strong wrist in an attempt to stop him from forcing an orgasm out of you.
“No?” Megumi slows his movements, the lewd squelching sounds in your room silencing as he gently pulls his fingers from your sopping pussy. “What’s wrong?”
You pant, whimpering as the burn in your tummy fades and you feel so fucking pent up. Megumi’s face is laced with concern as he turns you on your side in his lap. You give him a tired smile, “please.”
“Please, what?”
“Please,” you whine, “I need your cock, Gumi.”
Megumi grunts, “fuck, baby.”
“Please,” you beg, “please, I’ll be s’good.”
Megumi cups your face, pressing his lips hard against yours. Your swollen lips move against his, your hand tangling in his messy hair. Megumi pulls away from you slightly, pressing his arousal-soaked fingers against your tongue. You whine when you taste yourself on his fingers, your tummy jumping with excitement as you suck his fingers clean.
“Such a good girl,” Megumi praises, kissing your forehead. 
Megumi forces you onto your back, your body bouncing against the soft mattress slightly. Megumi rests his thighs on either side of your hips, tugging your legs over his hips. You’ve never had your pussy this close to his cock and your mind is reeling with excitement.
Your shaky hands reach for the waistband of his pants but Megumi quickly forces your hands above your head, pinning your wrists together, “you said you’d behave.”
“Mm, you can’t blame me for being excited,” you whine pathetically. 
Megumi only chuckles at how damn cute you are before he forces his pants down his hips, kicking them off across the room, leaving him in just his boxers. There’s a wet patch forming on his boxers and your mouth salivates at the idea of him finally fucking you with his big cock that you’ve had in your mouth many times before. 
“S’big,” you compliment, wrists wriggling against his large hand still pinning them above your head.
“You sure about this?”
There’s a sudden intense seriousness in the air. You peer up at Megumi and he looks nervous, his teeth nipping at the inside of his bottom lip. He lets go of your wrists and you reach up to cup his face, forcing his steely eyes to meet yours, “Megumi Fushiguro,” you call softly.
“Mm?”
“I love you,” you sigh. “There’s no one I want more to take my virginity than you.”
Megumi lets out a shaky breath, “...you sure?”
“Never been more sure of anything in my life,” you grin.
“Because I really want you to be mine.”
“I’m already yours, Megumi.”
Megumi lets out a huff of a laugh, leaning down to pepper kisses across your forehead and down your nose to your lips, forcing a soft giggle from your chest. 
Megumi reaches down slowly, pulling his boxers down his hips until his cock springs free, the angry red tip leaking with precum. You peer down at his pretty cock, eyeing the vein you trace with your tongue every time you suck him off, noting how heavy it is as it struggles to hold itself up. 
Megumi sighs, wrapping his hand around the base of his cock and pumping a few times, his eyes never leaving yours. You cup his face, forcing him to kiss you one more time before he sits up, scooting his hips closer to yours.
He eyes you one more time, looking for any sign of regret or hesitation. You don’t offer any, eyes wide and almost sparkling with anticipation. Megumi holds his cock and lets it slap against your tummy, the tip almost reaching your belly button.
Your brows furrow and you wonder what he’s doing. Then it sort of dawns on you.
He’s sizing you up. 
“M’gonna be right here,” Megumi presses the tip of his finger to the spot just below your belly button. His eyes meet yours and all you can do is meekly nod, your heart slamming against your chest. You knew Megumi was big but now that he’s fucking sizing you up and showing you where he’s gonna be inside you, you’re starting to get a little nervous. 
But fuck you want him inside you.
You buck your hips up and Megumi chuckles, “s’eager.”
“Shut up and fuck me,” you grumble playfully. Megumi smiles, scooting your hips up and leaning over to quickly kiss your forehead one more time.
“You tell me if it gets too much,” Megumi says seriously. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”
You smile, “you won’t hurt me.”
Megumi nods slowly before gently gripping the head of his cock, rubbing the precum-covered tip against your swollen clit. Your hands grip the sheets and you bite your lip to keep the whines at bay. Megumi breathes heavily as he dips his tip down to your soaked hole, your arousal slipping out of you and dripping down your ass. 
“Look at me,” Megumi orders softly.
You open your eyes, not realising you’d pressed them closed. 
“Please,” Megumi sighs, “I wanna watch your face when I put it in.”
God, this fucking guy is gonna be the death of you.
He presses the tip into your cunt, groaning softly at your tightness as your pussy swallows his tip eagerly. Your thighs instinctively spread open to accommodate his size. He presses into you slowly, letting your tight cunt stretch around him to get used to his size. 
“G-Gumi–” you whine out.
“Y-You okay, baby? What’s wrong?” Megumi stills his movements.
You pant slightly, chest heaving, “feels s’good.”
Megumi sighs a little in relief, hand coming up to cup your jaw as he presses his thick cock into you. He’s over halfway when you let out another whimper, your thighs shaking slightly with the stretch.
“Still okay?”
“Mhm, almost in?” you ask.
“Just over halfway.”
“Halfway?!” you force out.
Megumi chuckles before pressing his fingertip to the space between your pretty pussy lips and your belly button. “M’about here.”
“Holy fuck,” you pant. “So fucking big.”
“Don’t flatter me,” he chuckles. “It’ll go straight to my head,” he jokes.
“Mm, s’true.”
Megumi laces his fingers with yours on the sheets, his steely blue eyes staying glued to your face as he pushes the rest of the way in, your soaked pussy sucking him in. Once he finally bottoms out, you let out a shaky sigh at the fullness.
“F-Feel okay?” Megumi’s voice shakes, feeling like he’s gonna cum like a damn teenager with how tight you are around him.
“Mm,” you screw your eyes shut, “you can m-move.”
“You sure?”
“Uh huh,” you nod slowly. 
Megumi leans down, lifting your arms and forcing them to wrap around his neck. He plants a kiss to your lips before pulling out– you whine– then he pushes himself back in. Your arms wrap around his neck, forcing Megumi’s head to rest against your shoulder as he pulls almost alllll the way out before plunging back into your tight heat.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Megumi groans, his hips snapping against yours as you hook your ankles together behind him, your thighs squeezing his waist. “S’good, princess.”
You moan and whine against his neck, feeling like he’s rearranging your fucking guts with how big his cock is and how hard he’s fucking you. It almost seems like Megumi needed this more than you with how his hips snap hungrily against yours. 
You tip your head back, mouth falling open as he forces moan after moan from your pretty swollen lips. Megumi reaches a hand down between your bodies, rubbing his thumb over your neglected clit, forcing you closer and closer to orgasm. 
His cock drags against your gummy walls, slick pooling around the base of his cock and soaking the sheets below as your nails drag against Megumi’s strong back, leaving angry red marks in their wake. 
Megumi hisses at the feeling, groaning into your hair as he snaps his hips into yours a little faster, thumb still rubbing your clit, your room is filled with lewd squelching sounds, your pussy so wet and tight around him.
You feel the white-hot pleasure of your orgasm approaching, your belly burning as you arch your back off the bed, letting go of Megumi’s shoulders to grip the sheets. 
Megumi suddenly sits up on his knees, lifting your hips in his strong hands, creating a new angle that makes you scream out in pleasure. His tip fucks against your cervix, surely leaving a bruise. You feel him in your tummy, his sheer size forming a bulge in your tummy. 
“F-Fuck, look at you,” Megumi groans, eyeing the bulge in your tummy.
You toss your head from side to side, your toes curling as Megumi reaches for your hand, forcing you to press down on the bulge in your tummy, his hand over yours. 
Then you just cum. There’s no warning as you gush around him, your vision going stark white as you spray your orgasm across Megumi’s pelvis, his thighs, your own thighs and all over the sheets.
“Fuck, did you just squirt?”
You don’t say anything, you can’t. You’re mumbling incoherent noises as Megumi fucks you through your high, his hips snapping harder and harder against yours as he chases his own orgasm. You’re both covered in a thin sheen of sweat and Megumi feels his orgasm fast approaching.
He pulls out of you with a quiet pop, quickly jerking himself off, your arousal making his cock slippery as he cums across your tummy. Hot ropes of cum paint your abdomen and tummy, Megumi panting as he squeezes the base of his cock.
“Mm, you’re fucking perfect, sweet girl,” Megumi praises, panting as he comes down from his high.
“Mm, Gumi,” you whine, voice quiet.
Megumi gently lowers you onto the bed, crawling up your body to cup your face, “are you okay? What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
You shake your head, “mm-mm, felt s’good.”
Megumi sighs with relief, “we gotta get you up, you have to pee and I gotta clean up–” he peers down at the utter mess you’ve made of the sheets, “–somehow.”
“Sleepover?” You beam.
Megumi chuckles, “sleepover.”
Megumi carries you to the bathroom, running you a warm bath. The two of you share a bath together, Megumi gently washing you hair for you while you make him a bubble crown. You’re obviously sore with how you limp down the hallway to Megumi’s room, clutching your pillow under your arm.
You rest your head against Megumi’s chest, his fingers gently smoothing over your wet hair and tracing down your bare arm.
“Any regrets?” He asks curiously.
“Mm, no,” you reply with a smile. “You made me squirt my first time having sex… I think you have to marry me,” you giggle.
Megumi chuckles, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “mm, maybe one day.”
You giggle, sitting up to press a kiss to his lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too, sweet girl,” Megumi pauses, “what is that?”
“What’s what?”
“That,” Megumi points to the bored-looking penguin plush he got you. It’s pressed to your chest right between your boobs.
“Oh, you mean your son?”
“Y/N,” he groans. “Get that thing out.”
“I will not!”
“I’ll throw it out the window while you’re sleeping.”
You gasp, “don’t do that to your son!”
“It’s not my son!”
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author's note: HEHEHEHEHEHEH
taglist: @starpachinko @2ukika @sukunabish @somethinglikero @wannabewolf @milliex01x @princessa143 @hrithi11 @katsukita69 @slayzzz @arcanefeelings @shirabu-k @izzzzzzig @zah2890 @evergumi @aerareads @flashilyquinn @raedollsstuff @happylildeath @anormieee @l1v1ngzomb1e @kimkimoruo @sunnyf4lls @saekolust @kalulakunundrum @xastoriaaurax @feliaeae @sleepyxzn @raya4643 @kaidostwin
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hellfirenacht · 3 months ago
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Fic Summary: Eddie had a casual thing going, but when that ends he realizes he has more options than he thought. SMUT
Tags: Eddie Munson x Reader, fem!reader, slightly-experienced!Eddie, virgin!Reader but don't make it weird, friends to lovers, oral (f and m receiving), fingering, porn with plot, or maybe plot with porn, drug use (weed), two idiots figuring things out, slightly ambiguous ending, no use of y/n, Reader is not described
Notes: No beta, what am I a fish?
Word Count: 7.8k words
Master List
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Eddie had known he was being used, he wasn’t an idiot despite the fact that she thought he was. He knew from the second that she asked him to meet her behind the school what she wanted, and for once he gave in. 
It had happened twice before, and with both of those girls he shot them down immediately and walked away. Aside from not being interested, those girls were too young for him anyway. 
It was obvious that Heather wanted more than a dime bag when she sat at the picnic table. Eddie didn’t do subtle, and neither did she. He had been ready to turn her down and walk away but he didn’t. He should have, but he didn’t. 
Maybe it was because she actually talked to him before the exchange. Buttered him up with questions about his band and his pins. Maybe it was the way she sat on top of the table and had her skirt hiked up to a dangerous level. 
The most likely reason is that she wasn’t a kid and Eddie was just a guy. An 18 year old and a 20 year old hooking up wasn’t a crime. 
It lasted longer than he thought it would. 
Three months this went on, sneaking around and never being seen together. It had been fun at first, a little dangerous. For a while it made him feel like being a freak wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Hearing someone scream his name in pleasure was a lot better than out of anger. 
The first month was the best. 
The second month, things were getting strained. Rick always says that pleasure was the business, but in Eddie’s case the pleasure was ruining his business. He couldn’t keep cutting deals with her, and he was barely making enough to buy more from Rick. Plus condoms were way more expensive than he thought. Eddie would cheap out on a lot of things, but condoms and guitar strings were not it. 
Heather was also getting bored by the third month. She stopped asking him questions and stopped talking to him. She didn’t even stay to cuddle, or she’d kick him out of her place after getting what she wanted. Sometimes even before he got his. 
The sex was fun until it wasn’t. It became mechanical, uninteresting. Screams of pleasure now sounded shrill and fake like some of the bad pornos he’d sneak from the local novelty shop. Eddie found himself enjoying the company of his right hand more than Heather as the end of the third month came to a close. 
It was a relief when Heather and Jacob were seen walking down the halls hand in hand passing Eddie’s locker that day. No words were needed, just a look from Heather that made it clear that it was over. 
That was fine. He hadn’t been in love with her or anything, but it stung. Girls didn’t want Eddie Munson, they wanted the Freak, the Drug Dealer, the Guitar Player. 
Okay fine, girls didn’t even want those things from him most of the time. Any girl that attempted to flirt with him was either clearly making fun of him, or just wanted bragging rights. Even those girls were so few and far between. 
Eddie was never looking to be anyone’s boyfriend. He has other priorities; his band, his club, his friends, his van, his Uncle. All of that came before things like romance or dating. 
Sex, however, fluctuated on that list. He was a healthy young man after all. 
Wayne had just left for work, and Eddie had closed the curtains and turned off the lights in the living room before popping in his favorite VHS into the player. 
It didn’t do anything for him. 
Eddie waited for the excitement to build inside of him but the longer he watched the less interested he became. The moaning sounded too forced, and the girls just weren’t doing it for him like before. 
But he had nothing else to do so he kept watching, not even paying attention. His eyes glazed over and he found himself thinking of anything other than what was supposed to be his distraction for the evening. 
He wished he had a joint, but Heather had taken his last one. Rick was out of town for the next few days. 
The only thing that snapped him out of his haze was the sound of the door slamming open, and you bargain in like you owned the place. 
“Jesus!” Eddie jumped and grabbed a pillow and held it over his crotch, which wasn’t even necessary as his pants were still fully up and he was barely half-hard. Eddie panicked and scrambled for the remote, pushing every wrong button to try and turn off the stupid porno. 
“Bad time?” you asked dryly, walking over and looking point blank at the tv where some blond chick was bent over a table while being pounded. From this angle it was hard to tell if it was in her pussy or her ass. 
“Don’t you ever fucking knock?!” Eddie asked as he finally managed to turn the tv off, plunging the room into darkness. 
“Not when it’s important.” You said, still looking at the now blank tv. “Are your pants up yet?”
Eddie set aside the pillow and turned on a lamp. “They were never off. It wasn’t doing anything for me.” He was being more honest than he intended. You two were friends, good friends even. Eddie would consider everyone in Hellfire a good friend. Despite his lapse in judgement with Heather, Eddie didn’t really do casual.
Eddie liked passion, he liked knowing that he was alive. He wanted to feel wanted. Maybe that’s why he spent those three months with Heather. At least she tried to make him feel wanted for a moment before she got bored. 
You turned around to look at him with a disappointed frown. 
“What? Can’t a man enjoy an evening alone with his porno collection?” Eddie asked. It wasn’t like you to be judgemental about sex, he knew for a fact that you had your own small collection of dirty pictures and romance books. 
You took a deep breath and sat next to him on the couch, turning to face him. Eddie stiffened a little, noting the irony that every part of him was now a bit more stiff except for the part that he had wanted to earlier. 
“Eddie... where have you been?” you asked carefully. 
Eddie was surprised at the question and a little confused. “I don’t know what you mean. I’ve been here or at school or-”
“I mean, yeah.” you interrupted. “You’ve still been at school and running Hellfire, and at the Hideout but...” You stopped and furrowed your eyebrows as if you were unsure how to really finish your sentence. 
“But...?” Eddie crossed his arms over his chest. 
“It’s like you aren’t around. We all keep trying to hang out with you and you keep blowing us off. You stopped hanging out after band practice with Jeff, Doug keeps trying to get you to hang out to talk about the new D&D expansion, and every time I ask you to hang out you say you’re busy.” You finally manage to say. 
Eddie flinched, and rested a foot on the coffee table. “I’m allowed to have a life outside of school, you know.” He was being defensive, and he knew it. 
“Yes, and that’s fine!” you said quickly. “You’re allowed to have other things going but I- we miss you.”
Shit. Eddie felt like a heel at those words. He hadn’t meant to blow his friends off for Heather, it just happened. He figured as long as he was still running the game and showing up for practice then everything would be fine. 
Eddie had wanted to feel wanted, but had turned his back on the people who actually wanted to be around him. 
Damn Heather and her short skirts. 
No, that wasn’t completely fair. She had been honest about what she wanted. Heather wanted sex and cheap weed. Eddie, as much as he would never want to admit to it, had craved something deeper. Not with Heather, per say, but just in general. 
Eddie was never looking to be someone’s boyfriend, but for a while it was nice to act like one. It was a complicated feeling. 
“Sorry.” He said, more to the discarded pillow than to you. “Things have been weird these past few months. My schedule has just cleared up though so I’ll be around more.” 
There was silence from you for a long while, and Eddie was worried that his apology wouldn’t be enough. 
“Did she dump you?”
Eddie froze in place and he felt all the blood drain from his face. How had you known...? 
“Wh.. what?” Eddie could only manage to force out as his mind scrambled for anything to say to either explain or get out of this conversation. 
“Heather. I uh, I saw you two in the forest on accident.” you said, messing with a rip in the couch. 
Eddie grabbed the pillow again and covered his face with a groan. “How much did you see?” he asked. 
“Enough to know that she’s willing to be shirtless when it was barely 40 degrees outside.” 
“Jesus Christ.” Eddie smacked his head on the pillow a few times as he heard you let out a small giggle. 
“I’m pretty sure I heard her say that, too.” You said, catching the pillow he had tried to smack you with. 
You grabbed the pillow and held into it now. “Did you like her?”
The question gave Eddie pause. “I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “I thought I could since she paid attention to me and at least tried to get to know me a little but...” 
You put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a rub. “I get it.” you said quietly. “Sorry you got dumped.”
“I’m more pissed that I spent so much on weed and condoms.” Eddie admitted, feeling relieved that he had someone to talk to about this for now. “She cleaned me out of my stash, and Rick’s out of town.”
You gave him a shit-eating grin. “Who’s your best friend?” you asked. 
“Jeff.” Eddie said immediately, not even thinking. 
“Damn, that was cold.” you cackled, reaching into your pocket and pulling out the ugliest joint Eddie had ever seen. “I guess you don’t want to share then, so I’ll just keep this to myself-”
“Shit- wait- you-” Eddie stumbled over his words. “You! You’re my best friend. Right now.”
“Just right now?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Right now and alternating Fridays.” He promised. 
“Good enough.” You decided as you handed over the joint. 
He took it and stared at the slightly crumpled paper in his hand. “Who rolled this?”
“I did.”
“This is... shit.” he said. “Hold on, I at least still have some papers.” Eddie said and you rolled your eyes and he hopped up to run to his room. 
“It wouldn’t be shit if I had my normal guy to roll for me!” you called after him. 
“You had three months to learn!” He yelled back, rummaging through his drawers. 
“I did, and apparently it’s not good enough for you!” 
Eddie’s laugh echoed through the trailer and he came out, turning on a lamp as he did, and it felt good to actually laugh again. He began quickly disassembling your joint and reassembling it with fresh papers. 
“I came all this way with a joint as a peace offering to make sure we were still friends and it wasn’t good enough.” You sighed dramatically, leaning against his shoulder with all of your weight. 
Eddie’s head snapped up to look at you, but his hair was in the way. He nudged you off and turned to look at you. “You thought we weren’t friends?”
“You stopped talking to me outside of school.” you said. “We barely talked during Hellfire, and you’d always run off the second you were done with your gigs at the Hideout. I thought I’d done something wrong until I saw...” 
Eddie let out a deep sigh and went back to rolling the joint. “Sorry,” he said. “It wasn’t just you, I was blowing off everyone-”
“While Heather was blowing you.” you nodded, leaning against him again. Eddie winced but did not argue. He licked the paper and finished the joint. 
“Let’s go outside.” Eddie said. “Wayne’s been on my case about smoking inside.” 
The two of you made your way outside the trailer, and further away from the park where no one would bother you or smell what you were doing. Just because it was a trailer park, it didn’t mean that some of the neighbors wouldn’t call the police for something so stupid. 
The chill of late winter had turned into a mild spring, and there were patches of grass that weren’t as brown as the others, and a few were even green. Eddie led you to a nicer patch of grass that was down wind and lit the joint, taking a hit. It wasn’t the best weed, but it was free and he had no right to complain when you were sharing with him. 
It was comfortable standing outside with you. Despite not having seen you in what felt like years, conversation flowed easily between the two of you as the joint was passed back and forth until it was no more than ashes under Eddie’s sneaker. You caught him up on any gossip you knew, while Eddie pretended not to care about how two cheerleaders were caught kissing and the scandal it caused. 
The two of you drifted back to the trailer, collapsing on the couch. You leaned against his shoulder again and Eddie stared at the black reflected glass of the TV. Well, you two were high and he figured some background noise would be entertaining. Without thinking, he reached out and turned it back on. 
The two of you were back on the site of the porno that Eddie had been half-heartedly watching earlier. The VHS had still been going, even if the TV was off. Eddie scrambled to find the right button to turn it off, forgetting in his haze that the tape player didn’t have a remote and he’d have to walk over and manually turn it off. 
You, however, burst into a mess of giggles at the sight of the actress bouncing on her coworkers dick like it was her job.
Well, wait, it was her job. 
“No, no, leave it!” You said as Eddie made a move to get up. “I wanna see what you’re jerking it to.” 
You had always been open when it came to things like sex, but the high seemed to remove your filter entirely. Eddie leaned back on the couch again, so thrown off by the request that he couldn’t think of a reason to say no. 
“So, is there a plot?” you asked, giggling harder every time there was a close up of the man’s balls. “Is she a poor young woman who couldn’t pay the plumber? A mishap with the pizza man when she forgot her wallet?”
“Uh, no plot.” Eddie said, his head swirling with the weed and the surreal situation he’d found himself in. Tonight he was supposed to be watching this alone as a pity party, not with his friend laughing about what got his dick hard. 
Shit, was his dick getting hard?
“It’s just a bunch of scenes from others in the series.” He clarified, coughing. Eddie glanced at the opposite corner of the couch, groaning internally at how far away the pillow was. 
“A ‘best of’ clip show? Not my usual style, but I see the appeal.” and despite your giggles, you still didn’t have any real judgement in your voice. 
“Yeah? And what are you getting off to?” he asked, deciding if he can’t beat it ‘em, join ‘em. 
“I like my porn with a little more plot.” you said, still staring at the tv. “It’s not enough to know that two people are getting it on, I need to know why they’re fucking to really get into it.”
“So porn never does it for you?” 
“No, I’ll still get off to these videos, it’s just not as satisfying. It’s just easier to get off knowing that the woman is going to be able to pay for the pizza.” 
This time it was Eddie’s turn to burst into laughter, which only made the two of you laugh harder. You slipped from his shoulder, face landing on his thigh was a small thud and another round of muffled giggles from you. Eddie was just thankful you didn’t slide face first into his boner, for a number of reasons. 
When you made no move to get up, Eddie rested a hand on your shoulder, enjoying the weight of you with his mild high. 
You pointed to the tv, where the current actress was bouncing at a different angle. “Did she do that?” you asked. 
“Yeah,” he said, honestly. Fuck it, what was there to lose now? “She was more shrill though.”
“What about that?” You asked, when the position changed to doggy style. 
“Did that, too.” Eddie sighed, watching the film. Watching this made him think that maybe, perhaps, Heather had been putting on a performance with him. “Usually in the van.”
“The van?!” You gasped, scandalized. “Eddie, we use that van!”
“We did that in the front seat, too.” he motioned to the new position on screen. “It... wasn’t good.”
And so, that became the new topic of conversation between the two of you. Every new position that was being shown on screen, you asked about and Eddie answered honestly. His boner kept fluctuating between half-hard and full mast as the two of you chatted. 
“Was she your first?” you asked, when the conversation died down. Your voice was quieter now, almost hesitant? Eddie couldn’t be sure. 
Eddie was quiet for a long moment. “Yeah.” he finally said. “I mean, I had a blowjob before last summer but... yeah. She was my first.”
You didn’t say anything to that, and Eddie wondered if you had fallen asleep. “Who made the first move?” 
“She did. She was just in it for cheap weed and sex.” He wasn’t proud of it. “And it’s not like she was a kid or anything, she’s eighteen.” 
“I know, I know,” you waved your hand. “You aren’t a creep.”
“It’s not like I’m drowning in options here in Hawkins.” Eddie said, feeling like he needed to defend himself, despite knowing you weren’t judging him. “Everyone at school is too young, and my reputation doesn’t really get me many dates.”
“You could have asked me.”
The words were so quiet, they were almost drowned out by the obnoxious dirty talk that the man on screen was doing to the woman. Eddie froze for what must have felt like a minute, trying to convince myself that you had said what he thought he heard. 
“What?” 
“If you just were looking to fool around, you could have.... Asked me." The last two words were even quieter, but unmistakable. 
Why did Eddie’s dick suddenly feel harder than it had in days? Why was he now just noticing that the woman on screen had damn near the exact same body type as you? Why was he now imagining trying the position on screen with you? 
You must have taken his stunned silence as awkwardness and so you pointed as the scene changed again. “Did she do that?” You asked as the woman started blowing the man.
“No.” Eddie said, and that got you moving. You sat up and turned to look at him, your face a bit too close to his.
“Really? No blowjob?” You looked scandalized and that amused him. 
“She wasn’t really into oral.” Eddie shrugged. “I didn’t go down on her either.”
“You don’t do that?” 
“No! Wait- yes-” Eddie was thrown off for the hundredth time today by your line of questioning. “I would have. I wanted to.” 
“And she said no?!” This seemed to be the most offensive thing Eddie could have said to you. “She’s seen your tongue and the fact that you never shut up and said no?!” You were practically gaping at him. 
“She wasn’t into oral.” Eddie repeted, glancing at your lips for the briefest moment before meeting your eyes again. 
You could have asked me. What would your lips look like wrapped around his-  
Jesus Christ, what was he doing?
You could have asked me.
You were an option this whole time?! 
Time seemed to stay still between the two of you. Your face looked warm, and Eddie had a bad feeling his wasn’t much different. He swallowed, trying to decide if he was allowed to be thinking the thoughts that were now rushing through his brain of you and the porno and all your damn questions. 
“Why the curiosity about everything?” Eddie blurted out the first question that came to his mind. “Wait, have you-?”
It was now your turn to be thrown off and you looked down. He really hoped his jeans were hiding his boner and that you weren’t looking too closely. 
“Like you said, freaks don’t have a lot of options around here.” You shrugged, trying to play it off. “No one’s really looking to date the local burnout.”
“You could have asked me.” Eddie didn’t really know it was true until the words came out of his mouth. Maybe it was the weed, or the boner, or the porn, or the fact that your hand was resting on his thigh- yeah, you were quickly climbing up to the top of the People Eddie Munson Would Realistically Date list. 
Fine, you were the only one on the list right now. But fuck, quality over quantity, right?
“You didn’t seem interested in dating.” you said, and he didn’t miss the way your eye flicked down to his lips for the briefest second. 
Why the fuck was the tape still playing? Shouldn’t a moment like this deserve a better soundtrack than fake porn moans?!
“I don’t know if I’m really boyfriend material.” Eddie admitted. “I’m kind of a mess.”
“So am I.” you said in a half laugh. 
Yeah, of everyone else in Hawkins you probably understood him the most. You had been a good enough student in school until you weren’t, and had dropped out when offered an extra year of high school. Eddie almost did the same, once, before Wayne convinced him otherwise. 
What did Eddie even have left to lose? This night was weird enough. 
The first kiss was fast, but firm. A press of his lips to yours for just a moment before pulling back. That movement seemed to sober you both up, realizing what you were doing. Your eyes were less hazy, far more focused and aware than before. 
You mimicked the kiss, letting your lips linger just a bit longer than his before pulling back as well. 
Neither of you pulled back from the third kiss. 
With some awkward adjusting and shifting, you were moved to straddle Eddie’s lap, and his hands rested on your hips as tongue was added to the mix. He could taste the weed on you, reminiscent of Heather but without the cherry flavored lip gloss. Your hands rested on his shoulder, slowly rubbing down his chest and then back up which felt good. Then your fingers slid into the back of his hair and that felt really good. 
Why hadn’t he just asked you? 
Your hips shifted and pressed against the straining bulge in his jeans. “Is that for me or her?” you asked against his lips, motioning your head just slightly towards the tv. 
“You.” Eddie didn’t hesitate for a moment, before sliding his tongue into your mouth before you could ask any more dumb or distracting questions. 
One of his hands slid up and under your stomach, feeling the warmth of your skin there. He felt the way your stomach flexed slightly, as if he had accidentally tickled you and pressed his hand more firmly down. His hand crept up on instinct before stopping himself just before your chest. 
Shit, you had just said you were a virgin, right? How far should he be asking to go-
The thought barely crossed his mind as one of your hands slid down his arm and pushed up on his elbow, elevating his hand those much wanted few inches so that his palm was now resting on top of your bra. Eddie groaned and gave your covered breast a squeeze, which you arched into. 
Eddie’s fingers traced over your bra, squeezing occasionally as he tested out your reactions. His hands followed the path of your bra strap to the clasp and he pinched so that it came undone. 
“Oh good, I don’t have to teach you that.” You laughed softly against his lips before pulling back to slide off your shirt. It only got a little tangled with your loose bra before falling to the floor. 
Boobs.
Eddie was a simple man, and the sight of your chest out and free and bare was the most beautiful thing he’d seen all night. There had been plenty of tits on screen this evening, but nothing would compare to the real thing right in front of his face. 
They jiggled as you laughed. “My eyes are up here- oh.” Eddie knew where your eyes were, but they were not his focus as he dove in and immediately latched onto one of your nipples while rolling the other. 
You arched into his mouth, and tangled your fingers into his hair more. He groaned as you tugged at the roots at the base of his neck, and flicked his tongue against your hardened nipple. As he played with your tits, your hips started rocking against his crotch and Eddie tried to adjust himself so that you’d be rubbing against his cock. 
“Knew you’d be good with your tongue.” You sighed, as he swapped to your other breast. You leaned down and grabbed the back of his shirt and gave it a tug. Eddie was quick to pull it off and toss it aside in record time so that he could get back to playing with your breasts. 
He probably could have stayed there for hours if you hadn’t pulled him back up into a kiss, letting your tongue flick out to tease his before sliding your lips down to his neck. You pushed his hair out of the way, and Eddie tilted his head back against the couch, one hand moving backup to your breast.
“Hickies?” You breathed into his ear, which resulted in a full body shudder from him. 
“Only if I can leave them on you too- fuck-” he had barely agreed before your lips had latched onto the side of his neck and began sucking hard. If he had any thoughts outside of how good it felt, he might have wondered if he’d be able to cover the forming bruise with his hair. That Monday he would be walking around the school with a low ponytail, where rumors would fly between him getting lucky or having been attacked by leeches. 
“Jesus Christ...” he breathed out as you attacked the side of his neck, alternating between soft pecks, hot open mouthed kisses, and an assortment of hickies. “Thought you were a virgin.”
You pulled back, giving him an incredulous look; it was one you often gave him during d&d. “Don’t make this weird, Eddie.” you said. “I’ve made out before.”
“Sorry,” he said quickly and to try and salvage the mood he leaned in and nipped at your neck. “I won’t make it weird.” 
“Save that for next time.” Your voice hitched and your hands gripped his arms as he started mimicking the way you had been kissing his neck. When he felt you shudder or grip his arm tighter, he focused on that spot until you started rocking your hips again. 
Eddie slipped one hand down your side, resting at the top of your shorts and rubbing his thumb against the button. You reacted by reaching down and unbuttoning it yourself to give him the go ahead. 
With you unzipped now, Eddie slid his hand into your shorts but didn’t get very far. The material wasn’t stretching enough and the angle was awkward for his wrist. 
“Might need a different position for that.” you laughed as he removed his hand. 
“Should we go to my room?” Eddie looked up at you, hoping that question didn’t backfire on him. 
“You should turn the porno off, first.” you climbed off of him and grabbed your discarded clothes. “I don’t think Wayne wants to walk in on that.” 
In the midst of making out, the tape had FINALLY stopped rolling, and was running through the end credits. Rewinding could wait, Eddie quickly ejected the tape and shoved it back in it’s generic looking sleeve. When he turned, you were already heading towards his bedroom, topless. 
He had never seen a back that looked so sexy in his life. 
You had dropped your clothes at the side of the bed, and when Eddie tossed the tape aside you grabbed him by the belt and pulled him close, barely giving him time to close the door. You were kissing him again, deeper and more passionately this time as the two of you scrambled to push down each other's pants. 
Eddie pushed you onto the bed, and he had to stop himself from cumming in his boxers at the sight of you panting and in your underwear in his sheets. You were looking up at him as if he were the only person in the world that mattered right now, and there was a clear damp spot on your panties. 
Heather had never been to Eddie’s trailer except once, when he had to grab a special purchase from his room. She had refused to come in, as if being seen at Forest Hills was an embarrassment. All of their time had been in his van parked in secluded spots, in the forest behind the school, or at her home. 
Seeing you in his bed, wanting him, was too much to take. 
He was on top of you again, kissing your neck as his fingers pulled down your panties. You kicked them aside as he started kissing down your body again. 
“Please tell me I can go down on you.” Eddie’s head was hovering right over your hips, looking up at you.
Your legs spread at the plea, and you didn’t waste time with words as you pushed his head down to where he desperately wanted to be. 
It took one lick of your slit for Eddie to be pissed at himself. He could have been doing this the whole time?! His arms wrapped around your thighs and his tongue dove in to explore every part of your pussy. You squirmed against his face, gasping and gripping his hair. 
“Fuck- Eddie....!” you gasped, in a way that only encouraged him. 
Eddie was quick to find a rhythm with his tongue that you seemed to like by the way you were letting out quiet whines. You weren’t nearly as loud as she had been, and so every gasp and sigh of his name was a victory to him. He spread your lips to get a better look at you and found himself grinding against his mattress at the site. You were wet, there was no question about that and it wasn’t just from his tongue either. 
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” your voice was breathless, and the corners of your mouth were turned up. 
“I don’t have a camera.” Eddie nipped at your thigh making you jump. “...I might get one now though.”
“Not on your life. There’s no way I’m gonna let pictures of me like that be dropped off to an hour-photo.”
“What if I got a polaroid instead? Instant development.” 
Eddie felt a special kind of high, the kind that only came when he was running a really good session or when he was playing with his band during a really good set. He didn’t know that sex could be more than just mindlessly horny- he was having fun. 
No one told him that this was an option, dammit. 
“Put a pin in that.” you laughed. 
“I have something else I’d rather put in you.” Eddie said as his finger started to ease into you. 
“Fuck.... if this didn’t feel so good I’d kick you out of bed.” you laughed breathlessly. 
“Kick me out of my own bed?” Eddie looked at you amused as he started rocking his finger in and out. 
“Wouldn’t even feel bad about ih--ohh- oh god-” You stopped talking, your sounds now turned into louder gasps and whines as Eddie curled his finger up and found that sweet spot. 
“Found your off switch.” he said with a shit eating smirk as he started massaging your g-spot. 
“Fuck... you....” you whimpered, your heart clearly not in it. Your legs were squirming as he stroked your inner walls, as if you couldn’t decide if you wanted to push him away or beg for more. 
“We’ll get to that.” Eddie said and decided to put his tongue to better use as he leaned back in to wrap his lips around your clit and start licking again. 
Eddie lost himself between your legs, and he had no idea how long he was down there. He always had an oral fixation, and was quick to decide this was now one of his favorite things to do with his mouth. 
You were getting louder, which only spurred him on more. His tongue worked fast against your clit while he kept a more steady pace with his finger. When he decided you were as wet as you were going to get he carefully started to push in a second digit which slid in easier than expected. He was rewarded with his name being moaned, and your walls clenching around his fingers. 
One of your thighs started trembling, which had to be a good sign. Your fingers tightened in his hair and your core was starting to tense up. 
Eddie didn’t expect you to actually start begging.  
“Fuck- please don’t stop.” you gasped out. “Please, Eddie I’m so close please, please please-” 
Eddie had no plans to stop, and he would have happily stayed there all night if you let him. He didn’t stop his pace, keeping everything exactly as what he was doing because if it was working he didn’t want to risk you losing the orgasm he was working so hard to build. 
You came with a strangled cry, and he felt the way your walls throbbed and squeezed around his fingers. He sucked on your clit until you had to push him away from over-sensitivity. 
You were left breathless on the bed, your body completely melted into his sheets. Eddie wiped his mouth and moved up to kiss up your neck to your lips again. You had tasted so good, he had to share. 
When he finally pulled back, he was looking down at you with what had to be a goofy smile. Those past three months were becoming less and less appealing in hindsight. 
“You really never did that before?” you asked, tracing the puppet strings on his arm. 
“I’m a quick learner when I’m excited.” he replied, and you pulled him close to kiss his neck again. The kisses were softer this time, as if an apology for the myriad of hickies he was sure was on his neck now. 
Legs wrapped around his hips and pulled him closer. Your hands trailed along his chest, and Eddie settled between your legs. He rocked his hips, enjoying the feeling of his cock rubbing up against your pussy. 
You pulled him back into a kiss, which was happily returned. Eddie was more than willing to give you all the time you needed to recover, though he would be lying if he wasn’t already thinking about other positions to get his mouth on you. 
Eddie grunted as you suddenly pushed and rolled the two of you over, and you were now straddling his hips, grinding against his cock. 
“Fuck” he groaned, grabbing your thighs. He watched the way your hips rolled hypnotically and he bit the inside of his cheek to not cum. 
“Your turn.” You purred, your nails scratching down his chest in a way that made his eyes roll back and his hips buck slightly. His turn? Had Eddie ever had a turn? He was so used to being the one in charge lately, in Hellfire or band practice or sex- “Do you have any condoms?”
Eddie’s brain exploded. Violently. When he came to his mind raced for where he hed put the small box of condoms. 
“Dresser-” he finally managed to choke out. “Should be on the dresser.”
You slid off him and walked over to the dresser, which was covered in discarded clothes, a cigarette tray and more than a few empty beer cans. He made a mental note to try and clean up more next time. 
He really hoped there would be a next time. 
The sight of your ass swaying and slightly bent over his dresser was one that he would engrain into his memory forever. He could name about a half-dozen W.A.S.P. songs that suddenly felt very relatable. 
You turned around with the condom box, giving him a look that worried him. You turned the open box over and nothing fell out. 
“Oh, fuck me.” Eddie groaned, sitting up on his elbow. 
“Yeah, that’s not happening without a condom.” you said dryly. “Guess she really wiped you out, huh?” 
Eddie fell back on the bed with a groan. “Yeah, I guess so.”
You tossed the box to the side and crawled onto the bed again, spreading his legs and settling yourself between them. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna leave you high and dry.��� you said, placing a kiss to his hip bone. 
He looked down at you, feeling his cock twitch at the way you licked your lips. 
“Shit- you don’t have to-” 
“Eddie, when have I ever done something I didn’t want to do?” you asked as your hand wrapped around his shaft. 
“G-good point.” he choked out. Your hands were softer than he had expected and you gave his cock a slow stroke aided by your wetness that was still on his shaft.
“Just let me know what feels good.” you said, leaning in and licking him from base to tip. Eddie was torn between closing his eyes and laying back and staring at you intently as you played with his cock experimentally. 
You leaned over him, using his thigh for a bit of leverage as you wrapped your lips around his tip and let your tongue slide over the sensitive skin of his head. He let out a low groan, trying not to thrust up into your mouth. You were being a tease whether you meant to or not with the way you were taking your time licking and sucking him.
“I can’t promise I can let you fuck my throat, but I’ll do what I can.” you said when you pulled back after a few minutes. Eddie couldn’t stop himself from laughing at how casually you said it, as if you were talking about fixing his amp for the hundredth time. “Something funny, Eddie?”
“You just said that so casually.” he giggled, remembering that he was also high from earlier. His laughter was contagious, and soon you were giggling again to. 
His cock was only half-hard by the time you two were done giggling, but that quickly changed when you leaned in and wrapped your lips around him again. You slid him about half-way into your mouth before stopping, and wrapped your hand around the base of his shaft. 
Eddie Munson had been given one blowjob before the previous summer by a girl he met a town over at a small show he had been playing with Corroded Coffin. That night he had felt like a rockstar getting blown by a groupie, and hide rode that high for months. 
You, admittedly, were not nearly as experienced as that girl had been but he didn’t care. Seeing you, one of his best friends, blowing him sent a thrill up his spine more exciting than the fantasy he had lived out. This was different and he was far too gone to try and figure out why. He just wanted to keep you here with your enthusiastic mouth on his throbbing cock. The way you were humming around his cock and looking up at him occasionally made it clear that you really wanted him to feel good. 
No one told him that someone just wanting to make him feel good was a fucking option.
You sucked his cock as if this was the one thing you had wanted to do all day. Your head moved up and down enthusiastically and your tongue was everywhere. For the first few minutes you would occasionally come up to breathe before finding your rhythm and learning to breath through your nose. 
Eddie’s orgasm came far quicker than he would have liked. He was still so worked up from eating you out and learning a lot about how he enjoyed sex that it only took about ten minutes before he was pushing on your shoulder to warn you that he was going to blow. 
He should be embarrassed. Eddie was gasping and letting our sounds that were damn near whining as you pulled away. You were panting, your lips a touch swollen and eyes glazed over as you jerked his cock. 
Eddie’s hand wrapped around yours, guiding it to the pace he needed to spill all over himself and his stomach. He really hoped that next time he’d be able to cum on your tits or in your mouth. Please, let that fucking be an option-
You grabbed his discarded shirt and cleaned him up, and Eddie made a note to do laundry soon. You wiped your mouth and collapsed next to him, and he reached for you. 
He wished he hadn’t been so surprised when you easily cuddled up against him, resting your head on his shoulder. “I knew your tongue would be good. She really fucking missed out.” you said, your arm laying across his chest. 
“I studied only the best techniques.” Eddie said, holding you just a bit tighter. Cuddling after sex (or whatever it was the two of you had done) felt just as good as getting off. Well, maybe second only to getting you off. 
“How much porn do you watch?” you laughed. 
“I have three tapes and a stash of magazines.” Eddie said honestly, because why would he need to hide that from someone he was so close to. Heather had once glimpsed one of the tamer issues of Heavy Metal that he had in his van and had rolled her eyes in disgust. 
“We’ll have to swap material sometime.” you suggested, looking up at him. “Or we can do a movie night like we used to. Just more hands on.” 
“So there’s really gonna be a next time?” Eddie asked. 
“I mean, I’d like there to be. I would really like there to be.” There was a slight waiver in your voice, the kind that he knew when you were considering a risky move in D&D. 
“It’ll probably be a while before I can afford condoms.” He admitted. “I’m kinda wiped for cash until Rick comes back.”
“Oh no. You’ll have to use your mouth on me again. How awful. However shall we go on?” you sighed in a dramatic fashion. “Oh well, if I must sit upon your face next time then so be it!”
Eddie could live with that. He was more than okay with that. 
“Well, if you’re sure you’re fine with that, then I’ll just have to grin and bear it.” He said, matching your tone of dramatic exasperation. 
The two of you laid there for a moment in silence, coming down from the highs of orgasms and weed. 
“This isn’t going to make things weird, right?” you asked after a few minutes. “I don’t want this to be... I don’t know. I liked doing this with you, and I don’t want this to fuck up what we have.” 
Eddie had been so lost in the strangeness of the evening, he hadn’t really stopped to consider the consequences of what would happen after. “I won’t make it weird.” he promised. “I’m not about to start being nice to you during the game just because you blew me.”
“Good, I’d be mad if you did.” you shook your head. “We don’t need to label this but.. If we’re gonna be doing this more, just know that I’m only going to be doing this with you.”
“I don’t exactly have a lot of people around here banging on my door to get a piece of this.” Eddie motioned to his dick. “Even if I did, I'd rather just be messing around with one person.”
You grabbed his flaccid dick and gave it a wiggle, laughing at the way it moved. Eddie felt that he should maybe be offended at you laughing at his cock, but he fought himself laughing at the weird feeling. 
“Little Eddie isn’t going near anyone else.” he said as you kept wiggling it. 
You dropped his cock finally, which had started to wake up again from the attention. 
“Nevermind, I’m never touching it again after you called your dick that.” you cackled. 
Eddie rolled over and hovered over you. “I can live with that as long as I get to go down on you again.” 
“Oh my God-”
“Just Eddie is fine.” 
You half-heartedly pushed him, your eyes alight as you looked up at him. 
“So... when does your uncle come home?” you asked. 
“Not until about six or seven.” He looked down at you, his cock already coming back to life again. 
“Wanna go again?” 
“Only if we can cuddle after.” 
“Deal.” 
By the time the two of you had passed out in his bed, Eddie had realized that maybe there was more to life than just the bullshit hand he had been dealt. And as you lay next to him, wearing one of his shirts while asleep next to him, he started thinking... 
When given an option, he would prefer you as his first choice. 
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Author Notes: I might write a sequel later if I feel like it but we'll see lmao. This wasn't originally Eddie x Reader, it was just a character study but then I got horny lmao.
Tag List: @sheneedsrocknroll92 @ghcstpyre @wheels-of-despair @crocwork-clockodile @cyanfairywren @justalotoffanfiction @ihaventgotaclue-really
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solalunar-eclipse · 8 months ago
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Conversation idea under the cut…
Sniper: Nice view, ain’t it?
Spy: I’ve seen better.
Sniper: Really? What’s your favorite place you’ve seen?
Spy: Le Jardin des Tuileries.
Sniper: Really, Spook? You’ve never seen anything better than France?
Spy: Non, not particularly.
Sniper: How come?
Spy: My work never left me much time for sightseeing.
Sniper: Ah, ain’t that the truth.
Spy: (sighs)
Spy: Though I suppose that would make this the second-best view I’ve ever seen by default.
Sniper: (laughs) You’re a proper riot.
Chillin’
Aka I listened to toby fox’s roast chicken song on loop because I’m normal and then I experienced a Thought :)
(Just in case click for better quality.. tumblr loves to butcher my posts)
#tf2 sniper#tf2 spy#team fortress 2#tf2#deltarune_explosion.gif#that’s me. right now. watching this#i love everything about this…i like how you’ve kind of chibi-fied them but in a way where it’s still very much your art style#they look like little soft dolls that i could pick up and play with…time to make them hug /j#i know this is a small thing but i also enjoy how you’ve given them different nose shapes#and also how you’ve drawn spy’s mask going over his nose—it just looks so Good and i don’t know how to explain it#in general the fact that you’ve managed to keep their character designs so accurate even while simplifying them is fantastic#YOU’RE SO GOOD AT ART!!!! EVERYBODY COME LOOK AT MY FRIEND WHO IS SUPER TALENTED AND DOES GOOD ART!!!!! /GEN#also also!! the way sniper’s expression does a little bounce when he laughs is so adorable…waaaaaaaaa#AND I KNOW I TOLD YOU THIS ALREADY. BUT THE WAY SPY LOOKS OVER AT SNIPER AND THEN LOOKS DOWN AT HIMSELF#WITH THOSE BIG WIDE EYES#BEFORE STARTING TO SWING HIS OWN LEGS AND SMILING#UGH MY HEART IS FULL!!!!! SPY GETS TO EXPERIENCE WHIMSY AND JOY REAL NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!!!!!!#i like how it’s implied that spy delivered his joke in such a deadpan manner that sniper was confused at first#but then spy smiles at him and he’s like ‘oh yeah that spy just fooling around haha’#oh and i said this before too but in case anyone else is looking the way that you made sniper’s hat shift with his head movements is so goo#BUT ALSO you’ve done such a good job getting him to emote even with the glasses hiding his face!#i love his little >:> expression it’s adorable!!!#this whole thing is adorable. i’m going to go watch it again right now#WAIT IS THIS TECHNICALLY YOUR FIRST ANIMATION#SINCE THE OTHER ONE WAS JUST MOVING JANE’S HAND BACK AND FORTH MANUALLY#WHOA BUSH FIRST ANIMATION!!!!!! LOTS OF APPLAUSE!!!!!#/GEN THAT’S SERIOUSLY SO COOL :D#okay now i’m going to go watch it again for real :3#(ACTUALLY. I WAS REALLY CLOSE TO THIRTY TAGS WHAT THE HECK IT WAS SO EASY TO TYPE OUT 28 LIKE IT WAS NOTHING#I’M MAXING OUT THE TAGS WITH THESE LAST TWO EHEHEHE)
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millers-girl · 3 months ago
Text
fallout
interconnected standalone/sequel-ish to bitter/sweet - a Dr. Jack Abbot (The Pitt) fanfic
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pairing: Jack Abbot x f!reader
summary: you and your sister plan to spend the day at Pitt Fest but instead spend the night in the hospital, and Jack is left to pick up the pieces.
warnings/tags: mentions of an active shooter, gun violence, ptsd/trauma response, grief and loss, implied survivor's guilt, slow burn, hurt/comfort, grumpy x sunshine, food as a love language, age gap, mild language
word count: 5.1k
a/n: oops accidentally made this love story my entire personality
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Jack rushed through the sliding doors of the ED, the familiar, sharp scent of antiseptic welcoming him back. His eyes were locked onto his phone screen, thumb twitching over the messages he’d already sent.
As soon as he’d heard it on the police scanner—“Active shooter at Pitt Fest. At least two confirmed dead. Unclear how many injured”—a sick, crawling fear had taken hold of him. It was an unfamiliar, uncomfortable feeling, and one he couldn’t wait to get rid of. 
He’d been trying to get a hold of you. Calling. Texting. Over and over.
Where are you?
Are you okay? 
Please answer.
I’m in the ED. Come straight here if you can.
He forced himself to pocket his phone when Robby started rattling off the hospital’s mass casualty protocol to the group, but he made sure to leave the ringer on – just in case.
When the first wave of patients came in, it was like muscle memory took over. Like he’d slipped back in time, to when he was stationed in Afghanistan, boots hitting blood-streaked dirt.
Assess injury. Slap a colored band on. Treat until stable. Repeat.
A girl, maybe sixteen, sobbed as he wrapped gauze around her bloodied thigh. Her hands were shaking.
A man in his forties was wheeled in, gray from blood loss, gasping.
He sutured a gaping wound left by a gunshot on another boy’s arm. 
He couldn’t stop.
Couldn’t let himself stop.
Somewhere, beneath the routine and urgency, he was antsy, just waiting for you to walk through those doors. 
And then – you did. 
When you were gurneyed through the entrance, the fluorescent lights that usually hummed quietly in the background now felt blinding. Each flicker seemed to stab into your corneas. Your ears rang, your hands trembled, and for a second, it was all white noise. You barely registered Dr. King’s voice asking you questions, her hands checking your vitals.
You weren’t looking at her. You were scanning the frenzied room. 
And then your gaze caught his.
Even amidst the chaos––screams, alarms, blood––his eyes found yours. Jack stopped mid-step near the nurse’s station, the world narrowing for him in an instant. The clinical buzz of the ED faded. He beelined toward you like gravity itself had shifted.
“Jesus Christ, you fucking scared me.” 
His voice was sharp, but familiar – comfort laced with adrenaline. He shouldered Dr. King aside and immediately began assessing you himself. You tried to push his hands away, your injury the last thing on your mind. His hands swatted yours back, frustration flaring into the way his brow furrowed. 
“Jack,” you whispered past trembling lips. He froze, and when his eyes met yours again, they softened. You reached for him without thinking, shaking arms curling around his neck, clinging.
And he didn’t hesitate. Didn’t care who was watching. He wrapped you up, hand cradling the back of your neck, and let out a deep sigh.
You weren’t sure what kind of fight-or-flight response you had that knew being held—feeling safe—would be exactly what you needed then, but you were glad for it. 
“Are you okay?” he murmured into your matted hair, voice tight with restrained panic.
You nodded against his skin, though the movement was hesitant, slow. 
“I’ve been trying to reach you. Why didn’t you answer?” 
“My phone got knocked out of my hand in all the chaos. I didn’t even realize…”
You leaned back, and found worry still clouding his features. You released him enough to let him do his job, finally letting him examine you.
His touch was careful, but you felt how tightly he was wound – how his hands lingered too long on your skin; how he exhaled when he saw the swelling in your ankle. 
Dr. King stepped back in, clearing her throat. “How are you feeling?” 
“Kinda nauseous… dizzy. I don’t know, the lights are making it hard to concentrate,” you mumbled.
The two doctors shared a look. 
“Mild concussion,” Jack said, gently wrapping his fingers around your ankle and rotating it. You winced. “Sprained. Scrapes and bruises on knees, elbows, forearms.”
He slapped a yellow band on your wrist. 
“Ow, Jack,” you muttered, tugging your hand back. 
Any other time, he would’ve rolled his eyes and teased you – made a quip about how dramatic you were.
But not today. 
Today, his fingers immediately rubbed over the spot soothingly, and his voice was soft as he apologized.
When he reached to slip a patient tag onto your wrist, he glanced up again. “Where’s your sister?”
“She’s fine,” you said. “Just had a scraped arm, bruised ribs maybe. She went to help Emery in the OR.”
He exhaled quietly, then moved efficiently – pillows under your ankle, ice pack secured, orders rattled off to Dr. King. “Acetaminophen and Zofran in an IV bag. Don’t get it mixed up with ibuprofen – she’s allergic.” 
Dr. King brought the requested bags and kindly offered to hook you up to them, wanting to help in some way. Jack ignored her, still locked in his quiet rhythm as he began treating your wounds. Stopping the bleeding. Cleaning the cuts. Dressing them carefully. 
You stayed silent during the whole thing.
And it unnerved him.
Normally, you’d be rambling about something––telling a story, cracking a joke, flirting with him––to distract yourself. But now, you just watched him, eyes distant.
He didn’t push.
As he was finishing up, someone called out for him. “Abbot! Need you in the red zone!” 
“Coming!” he shouted back, eyes never leaving you until the very last second. “Hey,” he said softly, “I know it’s crazy in here right now, but try to get some rest, okay? I’ll be back soon.”
“I’m fine,” you insisted. “Wasn’t even near the shooter. Just got trampled in the crowd… Others had it worse.” Your gaze flicked to the burgundy splatters on his surgical gown.
Jack cut you a look. “Don’t do that,” he said firmly. “You still got hurt. That matters. And I’m gonna fix it. Okay?” 
You nodded, just to keep him from worrying more.
“And keep that ankle elevated,” he ordered. As he turned to leave, you caught his hand in yours.
“Can I borrow your phone? I need to call Eleni.”
He hesitated, then pulled the phone from his pocket. When you reached for it, he tugged it back. “One call, then you rest,” he bargained.
You nodded again, the device cool in your hand as he disappeared down the hall.
Dr. King smiled kindly before saying, “Okay, you should be good for now. I’ll come check up on you in a bit, too. Let me know if you need anything in the meantime.”
“Thanks.”
When she left, you dialed Eleni’s number. It only rang for half a second before she was picking up and frantically asking, “Hello?” 
“Hey, it’s me.”
Relief hit the other end of the line like a wave. You could practically hear her collapsing into relief before relaying the good news to the rest of the team. 
“Are you okay?” 
“Yeah, fine. Just a little knocked up.” 
She paused for a second, then said, “Knocked up? Wow, that Dr. Tall, Dark, and Broody sure works fast.” 
You huffed out a weak laugh. It felt forced. Hollow.
Eleni meant well. That was her way of checking if you were really okay. So, for her sake, you tried.
“Can you do me a favor?” you asked, looking around the chaotic room.
“Anything.” 
“Get the team to make some food for the ED. For the survivors, their families. Staff. Anyone who needs it.” 
“Yeah, that’s a really good idea. How much do you need?” 
“Everything we’ve got.” 
A beat of silence. “Everything…? Is it that bad?” 
“Yeah,” you said quietly. 
She didn’t hesitate. “We’ll get started right now.” 
You thanked her, hung up, and slowly slid further down the gurney, resting Jack’s phone against your cheek like a comfort blanket. It was nice to have a piece of him with you. 
You didn’t mean to fall asleep. But somehow, your body finally gave out. And, when you woke again, it was to Dr. Mohan’s voice ringing out from a few feet away. “Need help with an airway!” 
Your bleary gaze tried to focus, mind swimming through fog as Jack and Robby rushed to help her. 
“GSW to the neck with expanding hematoma and distorted anatomy. Can’t intubate him – probably hit the carotid,” she explained.
You blinked heavily, watching Jack attend to the bleeding and shout out orders in that commanding voice of his.
But it was the needle taped to his arm, feeding a blood bag wrapped around his ankle, that really caught your attention. Without lifting your head, your sleepy eyes shifted to it. 
“Are you donating?” Dr. Mohan asked. 
“O-neg, yeah.” As if he could feel your eyes on him, he glanced your way, one of his eyes dropping in a wink. “Thought I’d be more useful as a two-for-one today.”
“Show off,” you muttered weakly, rolling your eyes. 
He grinned, eyes focused on the patient before him as he put a Foley in. As he was working, he called to Perlah, asking her to get you a juice box when she got a chance. 
“Can you make sure it’s not apple?” he asked after her. “She hates apple.”  
Despite everything, you felt a warmth blooming in your chest at that.
When Perlah brought you a juice box––fruit punch––you sipped it quietly, eyes on the trauma around you. The blood. The screams. The ones who were being saved – and the ones who weren’t.
Jack returned after stabilizing his GSW patient. He didn’t say anything at first, just placed a warm hand on your forehead, thumb brushing lightly at your hairline. 
“You want some more juice?” You shook your head. “But you’re good?” 
You force a nod. “Yeah. Just tired.” 
He didn’t believe you, but he didn’t force the truth out of you either. Just made sure to watch you more closely as he continued working around you.
Sometime later, Eleni arrived – along with half the staff from Francesca. They came bearing trays of food: warm bread, hearty pastas, fruit, rice dishes, sandwiches, coffee, cookies.
The smell alone grounded people. Nurses grabbed bites between patients. Survivors’ families cried when offered plates. Even doctors paused to say thank you.
You watched it all from your bed, barely speaking – your throat tightened. 
Santos, who stood beside Jack, asked, “Is that the black cod from Francesca?” she asked, oblivious. 
Jack’s eyes flicked to the food in the familiar light pink bags, then to you.
It wasn’t the fact that you’d gotten food for the entire floor that caught his attention – it was why you’d even thought to do it. Even banged up, bruised, barely functioning – you’d wanted to look after everyone else.
He looked at you like he was seeing you for the first time, with new eyes. Like maybe, despite your young age and optimism when it came to seeing the best in people, Jack could still learn a thing or two from you. And maybe that was what he admired most. 
When he managed to find a minute to be back at your bedside, he didn’t say anything. Just offered you the food on his plate, making sure he saved you that sandwich you raved about so much. 
He sat beside you, in quiet solidarity. And, for a moment, in the middle of one of the worst days either of you had lived through, something in the chaos finally felt still.
When Jack left again to attend to more patients, the chaos didn’t remain still. Instead, it slowed – in the worst way.
You finally stopped moving. Stopped reacting. And, just, took it all in.
The crying, the gurgled pain, the rushed footsteps, the overheard codes being called. You can see every little thing – the crimson on someone’s shirt, the way a nurse’s gloved hands shook, the metallic scent in the air. 
Someone shouting for gauze. Another for a crash cart. A kid screaming down the corridor, clutching his broken arm, blood smeared along his cheek. 
And it was all muffled, happening in slow motion. Dull in your senses, leaving only an ache. In your bones. In your ribs. Behind your eyes. 
And then you saw them.
Robby was towering over a gurney, hands pressed tightly to a teenage girl’s chest – desperate, shaking. Her bra was soaked through. A pool of maroon darkened the sheets she was lying on.
She was already still. Limp.
And a teenage boy was sobbing her name. Leah. 
You vaguely remembered his face – Jake, Robby’s sort-of adopted son.
He’s just a teenager… meaning Leah is too.
Was too.
You silently watched Jack touch Robby’s shoulder once, gently, but Robby shrugged it off. Muttered something over and over. Continued with chest compressions everyone knew wouldn’t help.
You could see it in the eyes of the practitioners around him. In the way they hesitated before trying to help. In how nobody called to see if an OR was open. Still, they didn’t want to pull him off her. Not yet.
And something about the quiet truth of that moment sliced deep through your gut.
Before you could process it, you were pulling the IVs from your arm and sliding off the gurney. Your knees buckled for half a second, and your sprained ankle throbbed, but you forced yourself upright. Moved down the hall. Didn’t realize where you were going until your hand was on the bathroom door, pushing it open and locking it behind you.
The silence inside felt oddly louder than the overwhelming med bay.
You stared at yourself in the mirror, not recognizing the reflection. Skin smudged with soot and scarlet blood, small cuts along your hairline, a big bruise where you’d fallen and hit your jaw.
You turned the tap on, splashing ice cold water on your face. It did nothing.
The tears came suddenly and in volume, blurring your vision, and causing you to sink. Down to the floor, knees against your chest, arms hugging.
You dropped your head, trying to focus on the sterile scent of disinfectant as it stung your nose. But all you could see was blood. The stillness. The way Robby cradled Leah’s lifeless body like she might wake up at any moment.
You didn’t know how long you sat there like that. Ten minutes, two hours – time had gone strangely elastic.
A knock sounded once. Then, a key card swipe.
You flinched as the door eased open and Jack stepped inside, gait soft-footed. His brows pulled together when he saw you there, folded into yourself. 
He didn’t say anything at first. Just closed the door gently behind him and sat down beside you, back resting against the wall. His outstretched knee brushed your good ankle. 
You could tell he was itching to say something, to get you out of this funk. But you didn’t speak until you were ready, and he respected that. 
A long time passed before you looked up at him, and your chest cracked wide open.
“How come nothing happened to me?” you asked quietly.
“What are you talking about?” 
“That kid – Robbie’s kid – his girlfriend, she…” you trailed off. Shook your head. “And I… I’m here, right? I’m breathing, and I’m good, and I’m gonna have some really badass scars and a hell of a story – ”
The corners of Jack’s mouth lifted comfortingly. “Did I leave any scars when I sutured up your thumb?” You shook your head. “Then, what makes you think I’m gonna leave any behind for you to remember this by?” he tried, lightheartedly, almost teasing – but your face didn’t soften.
You were somewhere else entirely. A million miles away, eyes glassy and unfocused.
“I don’t want you to remember this forever,” he admitted, correcting himself. 
“I think I will,” you whispered. “Even if I don’t have any physical scars to remind me.” 
Jack looked at you for a long time. Then, slowly, he pulled you into his lap, pressing you gently into his chest. You didn’t resist. Just leaned in. Let yourself fold into him like you had no bones left. 
He felt safe, even if the world didn’t anymore.
His chin rested lightly on top of your head, and his voice came low, almost gravelly. 
“Sometimes surviving feels heavier than dying,” he said. “But you’re here, and that counts for something. Even if you don’t know what yet.” 
You closed your eyes, let the silence swell between you, thick and full and terrible. His heart beat steadily against your cheek, and yours slowly synched to his. 
For the first time all day, you let yourself breathe without holding back the sob. 
When your breathing eventually evens out again, your sobs subside into hiccups, but Jack still doesn’t move. Not until your fingers unclenched from the fabric of his scrubs and you shifted slightly in his arms, blinking up at him through lashes sticky with salt.
“Let’s get you back, huh?” he murmured, thumb brushing gently against your cheek, wiping away a tear. “Before King starts paging me panicking because she lost you.” 
At that, a genuine single laugh escapes past your lips. 
You nodded, letting him help you stand, steadying you with one hand at your elbow while the other rested at your waist. 
You weren’t shaking anymore, but your body felt like it had been wrung out, nothing left but raw emotion and a dull, aching tiredness. 
Back in the med bay, the gurney felt too open, but you climbed back into it anyway. Jack hooked your IV back in, checked the monitor, adjusted the pillows under your ankle and tucked you in, grabbing extra blankets because he knew how cold you got here.
Every time he passed when moving from patient to patient, he paused. Asked you if you wanted something more to eat, another dose of pain meds, or the chance to change into a fresh set of clothes.
He led you to a new bathroom, helping you change out of your bloody top and jean shorts. As he pulled the hole of an extra t-shirt he kept in his locker over your head, he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to your forehead, without ever saying a word.
Back in the gurney bed, now in his t-shirt and sweatpants, you felt a little calmer. By now, all the food from Francesca was gone, but he offered you a half-eaten granola bar from his scrub jacket pocket when your stomach growled loudly.
And each time he left the absence of him left behind a cold draft against your skin.
The night dragged on. The chaos outside finally slowed, like a storm passing. Wounds were closed, departments and rooms assigned. The steady beeping of monitors became the background noise of recovery, not disaster.
It was sometime past midnight when Taylor led you into an assigned room not far from the nurse’s station. When you were settled into the room––overhead lights dimmed just how you liked it and a cup of cold water at your bedside––you caught sight of Jack outside your door. 
He talked quietly to another nurse for a few minutes, then handed over a clipboard he held before making his way into your room, checking your progress.
“Are you busy right now?” you quietly asked.
He glanced down the hallway, then decided, “I got a minute to spare.” 
Yout throat felt dry, the words nearly catching a little as you spoke – even after everything you two had been through in the past few day. “Can you come lie down with me?”
Your voice sounded so small, how could he ever say no?
He blinked once, then shut the door behind him.
The bed was barely wide enough for one person, but he made it work. Shrugged off his stethoscope and climbed up carefully. His body curled beside yours, both of you on your sides, facing each other in the dim glow. He tucked one arm under your head, the other hooking around your waist to pull you closer. 
You let out a deep exhale, murmuring against his skin, “Pretty sure there’s a HIPAA violation about doctor-patient contact somewhere here.” 
Your voice wasn’t light. You didn’t smile.
But the joke still landed.
“Oh, my God,” he groaned, eyes rolling before they settled back on you. The hand on your waist rose to cup your cheek. “I’m really glad you’re okay,” he whispered, before his lips pressed against yours in a soft kiss that reassured you you were going to be okay.
The silence that followed when you pulled away was full of the words neither of you had to say out loud. His hand found yours under the blanket, your fingers tangling naturally.
And, for a little while, the horrors of the day faded into something softer.
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The first days back home after the shooting felt different. 
Your bedroom felt smaller, like the walls were closing in. But, it also felt comfortable, familiar. Nothing bad had ever happened here, and nothing bad ever would. 
Jack drove you home that first day. He didn’t say much, didn’t need to. He just kept a steady hand on the steering wheel and his gaze flicked over to you every few minutes. He ended up staying until his next shift, never leaving your side unless he had to.
You trailed him around the house like a shadow – when he brewed tea for you, made you breakfast, shifted through his backpack by the door. You weren’t even sure what you were so afraid of, only that when he was near, it all felt quieter. Bearable.
An hour into being back home, the two of you had settled into the couch with some show playing low in the background. You didn’t remember what it was, only the way Jack’s eyes started to flutter closed. He fought sleep longer than he should’ve.
You tugged gently at his hand, coaxing him into your room. He didn’t protest, just let you lead him, half-asleep. His body sunk into the bed, melting into sheets that smelled like you.
You couldn’t sleep – couldn’t really calm your mind when your ears were suddenly so sensitive to the noises around. Dogs barking. The garbage truck coming to pick up the recycling. A car backfiring.
Each one pulled your body taut with unease.
Instead, you watched Jack sleep. He looked so peaceful, long eyelashes brushing against soft skin. His forehead wasn’t crinkled in worry for once, even though you could tell he was running on empty this last shift. 
You reached out to gently run your fingers through his hair and it made him sleepily shift toward you on the bed, his head nuzzling into the crook of your neck. The warmth made your chest ache.
When his alarm went off, he began to stir but you tightened your hold on him. Not ready to let him leave or face a cold, desolate existence without him for the next 12 hours.
Eyes still shut, he gently teased, “Clingy much?” But the softness in his tone showed you he didn’t mind it one bit.
Not when your bare feet padded lightly right behind his as he walked into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, nor when he got in the shower and you followed in after. 
Afterward, wrapped in a towel, you avoided looking in the mirror. You didn’t need to. You could already feel the bruises blooming, their soreness serving as quiet reminders. You stared down at your arms, your collarbone, at the places where the pain still lingered, where the memories came to life – gunshots, screaming, smoke in the air. 
You flinched when Jack shut the bathroom door, the sound too loud, too sudden. He didn’t notice… or maybe he did and just didn’t say anything.
When he was packing his camo backpack for work, his movements froze for a second, hesitating. Then, wordlessly, he pulled out your bloodied clothes from Pitt Fest, folded in a ziploc bag. Before you could even process what he was doing, he’d quickly stuffed them into the laundry machine and ran a cycle.
After he had pulled his jacket on, he approached you while you were slowly picking at the sandwich he’d made you for supper. His hands gently cupped your face, thumbs brushing over your cheeks. 
“You gonna be okay tonight?” he asked softly. 
You nodded, though it felt like a lie. Still, he pulled you into a hug, pressing your head against his chest, and leaned down to kiss the top of your head. “Call me if you need anything. Or if you get bored and wanna get your ass kicked in chess.”
That coaxed a real laugh out of you, unexpected and bright. Before the shooting, you two had been engaged in a seriously competitive match over GamePigeon. Jack had accused you of cheating more than once. You missed that.
“Yeah, yeah,” you said, patting his chest when you leaned back. “Might let you win this time. Keep that fragile ego intact.”
He smirked, leaning down to meet your eyes. “Be good today, okay?” 
“Yes, Dad,” you groaned with exaggerated disdain. The wording made his brows raise and sent a shiver down his body. 
“That and the age gap… you’re gonna give me a complex,” he groaned, watching the corners of your lips tug upwards before you reached up on the tips of your toes and wrapped your arms around him. 
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll forget all about it when you’re elbows deep, rearranging someone’s guts,” you easily teased, pressing a kiss to his lips.
“Rather rearrange your guts,” he mumbled against your lips, cupping a hand behind your neck to deepen the kiss.
When you pulled back, you tilted your head. 
“What?” he asked. 
“I’m rubbing off on you.” 
He opened his mouth again, likely to make another suggestive remark about rubbing something else off on you, but you cupped a hand over it before he could. 
“Don’t you have lives to save?” you asked, gently shoving him out the door.
You knew the house wouldn’t be empty for long—Jack and your sister had alternated shifts so someone could always be with you—but you still missed him.
Only thirty minutes passed between Jack leaving and your sister coming home. But in those thirty minutes, the washer went off and you thought you could manage the simple task of transferring your clothes to the dryer. 
After all, they were just clothes. Just pieces of cotton and thread, no longer cakes in soot and blood. They were fresh as new. 
So why couldn’t you touch them? Why did you leave the washer door open and just stare into the tub where they sat, soaked? 
By the time your sister walked in, the clothes were long gone – dumped in the trash bin outside. It was the only thing you could bring yourself to do. 
You were curled up on the sofa when she found you, TV flickering across your face like nothing had happened. She didn’t ask. She just sat beside you, and that was enough.
That’s how the days passed. Evenings with your sister – watching TV, talking about what happened, processing. Mornings and afternoons with Jack, who brought over puzzles, crossword books, a physical chess set… even a spare toothbrush which now sat happily beside yours in the bathroom. It made your heart ache every time you saw it.
You slept a lot, but even when you were awake, you were tired. Even inside the comfort of your home, you were still hyper-aware of all the noises outside, and any large crowds that passed by, voices raised. 
Yet, somehow, those hazel eyes you’d grown to find comfort in had convinced you to step outside, start going on walks. Take in fresh air again.
It wasn’t easy – you barely made it around the block, nails digging into the back of Jack’s hand from how tightly you held it – but it was progress. 
In a week’s time, you even returned to the restaurant. You were ready to face the hustle and bustle of Francesca, ready to put your mind to work and focus on something positive for a change.
What you weren’t ready for was running into Jake by the entrance. 
“Hey,” he said softly, remembering you from Robby’s stories and also vaguely recalling seeing your face on that unspeakable day. 
“Hey,” you echoed, voice just as strained. “What are you doing here?” 
“Mom asked me to pick up dinner.” 
You nodded silently, sunsure what to say next. “How are you?” 
He shrugged. “You know…” 
You did know.
“My mom’s got me talking to a trauma specialist,” he said, not sure why he was telling you. “At the hospital.” 
“Yeah… Jack – Dr. Abbot – he’s been trying to convince me to go, too.” You hesitated. “Is it… helping?” 
Another shrug. “A little, I guess. But.. I don’t know – she wasn’t there. She doesn’t really get it.” 
You reached for a napkin on an unoccupied table, finding yourself scribbling your number down before offering it to him.
“You can call me… if you want. I get it.” 
He held the napkin between his fingers, staring at the numbers. Then, he tucked it into his pocket with a slow nod. “Thanks.” 
You couldn’t let him leave without saying the next words at the tip of your tongue. “Hey… I’m sorry about your girlfriend. She seemed… pretty. I’m sure she was – I’m sure she was really great.” You found a lump forming in your throat.
He paused a minute, then said quietly, “She was.” After a beat, he added, “You know, I told her about you once.” 
You were shocked to hear that. “What?” 
“I was telling her one of Robby’s stories, about the first time he ever came to visit this place, and he got to brag to the people at the next table about how he knew the head chef. And when they asked you how you came to be there, you said by – ” 
“ – by being brave,” you finished for him, feeling tears lining your vision. 
Jake nodded. Then, as if he knew you needed to hear it, he said, “Leah would want you to be brave now… about all of it.”
That stayed with you until the restaurant closed, and you drove home, and laid in your bed for the night, getting the first restful sleep – no nightmares – for the first time in a long time.
And when you woke, it was to Jack crawling into bed beside you, rays of sun filtering through the blinds and lighting up his face. 
His hand found yours under the covers, like it always did, comforting and warm – and you sighed in contentment.
“I wanna stay like this forever,” you mumbled against his skin. “Can we?” 
“Yeah, baby… as long as you want.”
.
.
.
read part 3 here !!
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nocapesdahling · 3 months ago
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Valkyries and Betting Pools
Dr. Jack Abbot x F! Nurse! Reader
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My Masterlist
Summary: The staff of the Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Hospital’s Emergency Department bet on everything. One of the most popular and secret betting pools is focused on what’s going on with you and Dr. Abbot. The bets range from everything under the sun, but who’s going to win?
Meanwhile, you just want to figure out if the man you’ve had a crush on for months likes you back.
Rating: M (18+, Minors DNI please)
Warnings/Tags: Flirting; Banter; ER betting pools; References to sex, including oral, fingering, and praise kink; Day shift characters present all over; Night shift characters also make appearances; Fluff; A little bit of oblivious! Reader; A little bit cracky, maybe more than a little; Reader has a nickname
Word Count: 1.9k
A/N: Inspired entirely by the ambulance betting pool scenes because if they bet on that, then what if they bet on everything? I’m so happy to be writing again, and the Pitt and these beautiful doctors have given me lots of inspiration. This is a very lighthearted fic to take a break from some of the more serious ones I’m currently writing. Hope you enjoy!
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If there was something they could bet on in the Pitt, then everyone was participating. Even Dana. She might like to pretend to corral everyone and stop the betting, but she was just as bad as them when it came to betting pools that weren’t as distracting as where a stolen ambulance might end up and how. 
There were pools on how many times Robby might curse that week — Santos had gotten lucky last week because not only had Gloria visited more than once, nothing drove Robby to curse like an anti-vaxxer and there’d been multiple — or what the weirdest case they might see would be. Jesse had won the most recent one with a guess of swallowed Barbie doll heads; it’d been a bit since they’d seen anything with dolls, so they’d been due in his opinion and he’d won a tidy sum for his troubles. They still weren’t sure how the patient had decided to stop at five. 
However, some of the more secret pools were about the interpersonal relationships between the doctors and nurses. Perlah and Princess ran those and kept them locked down tight. There’d been one about Robby and Collins years ago — Dana had used her powers for evil and won that one as well as enough to buy all her family presents for Christmas that year — and there was another one now about Mateo and Javadi, but the one that got the most bets recently was focused on Abbot and you.
What was your relationship? Would you or wouldn’t you? Had you kissed? Were you already together? Were you fucking? 
Nobody knew — well, there may have been one or two (Dana and Robby) who knew for sure and who’d recused themselves from the pool and refused to say why — and there were more bets placed every day. Because the two of you flirted and bantered with each other constantly or at least what passed for flirting for Abbot. Because Abbot was one of the most deadpan flirters any of them had ever seen, and sometimes Ellis and Shen wondered if you even knew he was flirting. It was that bad. 
But then you’d come back with a snarky comment or a similarly deadpan remark, and they’d change their minds as well as their bets. The pool was constantly shifting and Perlah and Princess had to find somewhere to store the money, because there was so damn much of it, before settling back in to watch the show.
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You wondered if it was obvious that you couldn’t keep your gaze off of Dr. Abbot’s forearms while he typed patient notes into his computer. Your eyes also drifted every so often to how well he filled out his scrubs as he leaned over. God, you’d think you hadn’t just seen his butt in the shower that morning or watched his forearms flex every time he fingered you. 
You could hear his voice now, “Got to get you ready for me, baby. Don’t want to hurt you. Gotta make you come for me first. You’ll do that for me, won’t you? You’re such a good girl for me.” 
Even just thinking about it made you feel hot and you shifted in your chair, wishing this shift would be over already so you could have Jack all to yourself. 
Of course, you were unaware that almost every single person on shift that could was watching you out of the corners of their eyes and right now with the lull, that was a lot of people. 
Jack tried to not let on that he was aware of everyone’s scrutiny. It made his senses go haywire in the beginning. Some things — okay, a lot of things — from the military never left. At this point, everyone watched you both so often that he was used to it even if the only eyes he wanted on him were yours.
You were both taking a moment to enjoy the calm before the oncoming storm of more patients. Even though you’d only thought it, you knew you’d jinxed it when Ellis rushed a seizing patient back from the waiting room. Abbot turned, pulling on his gloves as he raced after her. 
“Valkyrie, you’re with me.”
You jumped up and followed on his heels, ready to help save a life.
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Only Dr. Abbot called you Valkyrie. The first time Shen went to call you that, teasing you, he’d barely gotten the beginning of the word out before Abbot stopped him with a glare and Abbot’s glares intimidated the hell out of people. No one wanted to be a victim of the “Abbot Death Stare.” In fact, there was a betting pool on that too.
How many times will Dr. Abbot glare over the course of the shift? How many times will he do it to Dr. Shen and Dr. Walsh in particular? And did “The Stare of Death,” a Dr. Jack Abbot trademark, make anyone piss their pants? 
The last one hadn’t happened in a long time, but Ellis had won that one. 
It gave you a secret pride that he’d never glared at you. 
The first time he’d called you Valkyrie, you’d almost dropped the saline you were hooking up to a patient’s IV. It had left his lips smooth as you please, leaving wide eyes in its wake. 
“Valkyrie, once you hook up that saline, I need you over here in case we need to intubate.” 
The only other nurse in the room had been Princess, who’d given you a look to let you know he definitely wasn’t referring to her, and as you’d glanced over at Dr. Ellis, she’d shrugged before smirking at you knowingly. 
“Valkyrie, are you listening to me? I need you at my side.”
At that, you finished your task and hurried over. He needed you at his side? You’d be there always. 
You missed Princess and Ellis’s delighted looks as well as Ellis’s mouthed updated bet that Princess nodded at and made a note to add to the pool later. 
Once the patient was taken care of with Princess finishing up the necessary meds, you followed the doctors out of the room. Dr. Ellis headed down the hallway with Abbot following behind. 
“What was that back there?” Your voice was hesitant, causing Abbot to stop and turn back. 
His light brown eyes met yours and you watched his lips tilt up into the smallest of smiles. You wanted to jump up and down because that was the first time he’d smiled all shift and it was because of you, but you held it in. 
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, you know what I mean.”
“Do I?” He looked as stoic as ever, but after much practice reading his expressions, you could tell he was teasing you.
“Dr. Abbot.”
“Valkyrie.”
“See there it is again. Since when do you call me that?”
He stepped closer and lowered his voice to a whisper. You shivered at his proximity and his solid warmth. His voice didn’t help either. “I’ve always called you that. At least in my head. You’re like Eir, you know?”
You tilted your head in thought, biting your lip and not realizing how his darkening eyes focused in on it, before remembering the one member of the Valkyries that was focused on healing. “The goddess of healing?”
“Mhmm.”
“Me? A goddess?” 
He leaned in even closer, but it still wasn’t enough. You wanted to touch him. “Well, I’d worship at your altar any time.”
You let out an incredulous noise, glad the hallway was empty except for the two of you, and swallowed as your face heated. “I —.” 
You had no idea how you were going to respond because this felt like something out of your secret fantasies, but were interrupted before you could by Dana’s voice.
“Dr. Abbot, we have a hit-and-run victim that’s five minutes out. We need you.”
“On my way.” He turned away and quickly headed back towards the main part of the ED.
You couldn’t help but call after him, “This isn’t over.”
His response when it came was amused and a little bit husky, “Oh, I’m counting on it… Valkyrie.” 
He disappeared from view and you could hear his raised commanding voice calling out instructions as he shifted back into attending mode. 
Dana remained in the hallway, just looking at you with amusement evident on her face. “Valkyrie, huh?”
You pulled yourself together, walking over to join her. “I don’t want to talk about it.” You paused, “Well, at least not now. Can we? Later?”
“Of course, hon.” She linked your arms as you headed towards where you were both needed. “We’re off tomorrow. We can get coffee. Lord knows we’ll both need it. And you can tell me more about whatever that was.”
“I don’t really know either.”
“Well, maybe I can help you figure it out.”
You weren’t sure if you should say your thoughts out loud, but you needed confirmation. To make sure you weren’t imagining things. “Wait Dana, has he been flirting with me? Before this, I mean?”
Dana’s face cycled through a few different emotions, including fondness and resignation before her expression settled on determination. “Honey. Not only that, but you’ve been flirting back.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. I think this might turn into you treating me for lunch instead. You need more help than I thought.”
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Dana had taken herself out of the betting pool later that week, citing inside information that would give her an unfair advantage. And no matter how much everyone pestered her, she refused to say what it was or how she’d come by that information. 
Robby followed suit the following week and exchanged looks with Dana, knowing she had one side of the equation while he had the other and both of them refused to elaborate to the pestering members of the betting pool. When Robby joined Dana on her smoke break later, all both of them could say was “Finally.”
Dana wondered how everyone would react if they knew you’d been dating for months at this point, starting not long after the Valkyrie conversation and after she and Robby had done their part to push you both to make a move. 
You’d kept your relationship entirely a secret otherwise. The only things you’d kept up with were the banter and the teasing comments to stop anyone from being suspicious, unaware that only threw more fuel on the fire or in this case deepened the pool.
She knew you were unaware of the betting pool, but Jack on other hand was fully cognizant of it and found it funny as hell. 
He got to go home every day with the woman he loved, and Shen still thought you’d never get past the talking stage. Well, this morning you hadn’t done much talking unless he counted listening to your body and moans as he ate you out. Whenever he did something he wanted to do it right, and he’d spend hours between your legs if you’d let him.
He couldn’t wait for their reactions when they finally figured it out. Maybe, it’d be obvious after he proposed? The ring was all ready to go and he had a plan. It was one of his better ones too, and he’d made a lot of great plans in his time. He was more than ready to call you his wife. 
It looked like you'd both be winning Dr. Mohan a lot of money, which was good as you’d wanted to tell one of your best friends about your relationship earlier and he’d vetoed it with the full knowledge that Mohan would win the pool when she was one of the first people you told about the engagement. He didn't want her to get disqualified beforehand.
After all, she was the only one who’d guessed “Secret relationship. Maybe even married?” He always knew she was a smart one.
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Comments, reblog, and likes are always much appreciated. Thanks so much for reading!
A/N: This is the first fic I've posted in ages and I'm so thankful to the Pitt for the inspiration. I had so much fun writing this and would love to hear your thoughts.
As an aside, the Pope Cody shower scene has apparently been hanging around in my brain like a sleeper agent since watching Animal Kingdom and came roaring back to the forefront with this. I have more Pitt fics planned for both Robby and Abbot for now that I can't wait to share with you all!
My Masterlist
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yanderedrabbles · 3 months ago
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Yandere Bouncer
You feel perfectly safe getting drunk and letting loose, especially with your favourite bouncer to keep an eye on you. Well, up until the night you realise that every party has a price. Tags: Simon "Ghost" Riley inspired, implied somno, 3.1k words
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Y'know who you shouldn't trust as much as you do? Bouncers. Sure, most of them are great. Just trying to do their jobs, keeping people safe when the booze starts hitting too hard.
But not in your case. No, when it comes to you - the bubbly party girl who smiles at just about everyone - the yandere bouncer at your favourite club doesn't have such noble intentions.
He's a big guy. All the security guys are, but he's big even by those standards. Standard issue black t-shirt straining at the seams when he crosses his arms. Mean mug, always scowling at any drunk stupid enough to breathe the same air as him.
Girls and guys alike think he's hot, but no amount of liquid courage can stand up to his glare. Anyone who tries to flirt with him usually thinks better of it when they're less than two sentences in. He's not here to hook up in the bathroom or be a rebound situationship. He's here to work.
The first time he runs into you, he barely notices anything beyond your skirt. Short as hell, even by clubbing standards.
What, do you want every bastard in there to get an eyeful of your thong, sweetheart?
He doesn't say it out loud. Just scoffs and hands you back your ID. Doesn't bother to reply when you wish him a good night.
The second time he runs into you, you're a little tipsy already. Smiling up at him like you don't see the pierced eyebrow or the scowl. He's tempted to not let you in - club has a strict no pre-drinking policy - but then you bat your lashes at him and joke that pre-gaming is the only way anyone can have any fun at all in this economy.
He snorts and let's you pass. He doesn't fully recognise you - too many faces, too little light - but some subconscious part of him takes note of your perfume. Something bright and fruity that makes him think of summer punch and getting drunk on the beach.
You try and greet him before you leave, half hanging off your more sober friend. You yell something over your shoulder about having a good time and smiling more. He isn't sure what you're on about, but it's kind of cute the way you mumble a little when you're drunk.
He doesn't expect to see you again, nor does he expect to recognise you if he does. There's half a dozen clubs in this rotten city, and half a million pretty girls with too short skirts.
But he does.
Notices you standing in line because the people around you are cracking up, total strangers laughing at some lame joke you made. He let's his partner do most of the ID checks that night. Not really realising it, but wanting a chance to watch you.
Your jokes aren't that funny. You touch people too much. You've got a laugh that's a bit too loud. But people like you.
Total strangers chatting it up and smiling like they've met a celebrity.
He rolls his shoulders, cracks his knuckles. A few people in the front of the line flinch away from him. He doesn't bother reassuring them.
What is it about you? What makes you so magnetic?
When you're finally at the front of the line, you give his partner a megawatt grin and call her by her name. Ask how her shoulders holding up after that brawl last week.
You smile at him too, your fingers brushing his wrist when you take your ID back.
"Hey, Mr tall, dark and scary. How's the biz treating you?"
"The same as it was last week. Same as it's going to be next week," he grinds out.
You pat his arm - are you seriously touching him? You barley know him - and flash him that same beaming smile.
"Don't be so pessimistic, handsome. I see lots of booze and parties in your future."
He scoffs. "Yeah. I reckon just about anyone could figure that."
You aren't offended. You just wink at him and disappear, your new friends in tow.
When he finally goes on break, he asks his partner about you.
"Oh, she's sweet, isn't she? Don't think she's been coming here long though."
"Three weeks," he mutters. "She knows your name?"
His partner laughs and tosses her cigarette onto the pavement. "Guess so. Nice of her to ask, don't you think?"
He isn't sure what to think, honestly.
He doesn't see you for two weeks after that. And when you're finally back, he can't help asking you about it.
"Oh, I had work," you say with a shrug. "I'm very flattered that you noticed."
"Hard not to. There wasn't any commotion, so I figured you weren't around."
You giggle and slap his arm, as cheesy as a cheerleader in a slasher movie. Still, it's kind of nice. Girls don't really act that way around him. It's either shy or terrified. Bubbly and a little over the top is a nice change.
He watches you walk away, your skirt just as short as the first time he noticed you.
Damn, doll. You make it hard for a man to focus. Got my mind in the bloody gutter.
It's late when you finally stumble out of the club, your heels in one hand and your phone in the other. You're trying to order an Uber but your cracked and unresponsive screen doesn't mix well with your booze addled senses. He gives it five minutes before he intervenes.
He plucks the phone out of your hand and sighs when you sag against him, half murmured thank yous slurring against his sleeve.
Out past your bedtime, eh love?
"Where do you stay?"
You tell him, your eyes half closed and your forehead resting against his arm.
Telling a stranger your address? C'mon doll, you should know better than that.
He waits with you until your ride arrives, and then he walks you to the car. He takes note of the number plate, only half aware that he's doing it.
He leans on the roof, barring his teeth at the driver in something only half related to a smile.
"Drop her off safe, yeah?"
"Yeah, for sure," the man agrees, nodding like a bobble head. "Wouldn't think of messing with her."
I'll break your wrists if you even look at her wrong.
"Right. Have a good one."
He raps his knuckles on the roof and watches until the tail lights fade.
There's an itch at the back of his brain that he just can't get rid of. Some annoying, rebellious part of him that keeps thinking about how warm you felt when you leaned up against him. How you're just short enough that he can rest his chin on your head.
The itch doesn't go away.
He keeps thinking about you until the weekend rolls around. What the hell do you do for work? It's hard to picture you in corporate - not when he's seen how low your necklines go. Pitching up to meetings and HR presentations when just a few nights ago you were drinking shots off a stranger's back? Not fucking likely.
...Although you would look pretty great in one of those tight little pencil skirts. Yeah, you pert ass would probably have your coworkers breaking their necks.
He doesn't see you in line until it's almost midnight. You look a little out of it. Constantly checking your phone, a half frown puckering your perfectly gelled brows.
He wants to pull you out of line. He really does. Not to give you any fancy VIP treatment - he wouldn't mind it though, he'd like to spoil you a little - but to just talk.
He shakes his head like a bull until the urge isn't quite so loud. Unprofessional, that. Showing favouritism. Not fair to the other people waiting in line. Still...
When he does finally get to talk to you, you aren't yourself. You cover it up with a smile, but even he can tell it's a poor veneer.
"I'm meeting up with my ex," you tell him when he finally gets around to asking. (It takes awhile. Has your ID always been this interesting? Shiny patterns. Nice typeface they're using now. And your birthday is exactly six months after his. Cute).
He doesn't know what to say to that. Isn't sure how he feels about it, either. Why the hell are you meeting some douche who you were one hundred percent right to dump? (He assumes it was you who did the dumping. No man in his right mind would let you go, not even if you're the type to swing a knife around on bad days).
"Good luck," he manages at last. "Hope he isn't an ass."
You squeeze his arm when you leave and he feels the ghost of your fingers for the rest of the night.
Your ex is an ass. All that and more. He can tell from the too heavy cologne, the pretentious boat shoes, the obnoxious laugh.
You're on his arm, smiling but not entirely comfortable. What are you thinking? Entertaining this overly polished turd of a man?
He stops you before you leave. Leans down and brushes his lips against your hair.
"You sure you're okay to go home with this guy?"
You give him a quick nod and a grateful smile.
He straightens, angry but not entirely sure why. He watches you walk away, his right hand clenching and unclenching around his radio until the veins stand out on his forearm.
You could do better than that, doll. You could be doing me.
He ends up finding your ex's name. Entirely on accident, swear. Finger slipped and before he knew it he was watching the CCTV footage of the front door, pausing when the guy's ID got flashed to the camera.
And now that he has that info, it's only logical that he checks him out on social media. You're a valued customer. He needs to be sure that the people you're associating with are safe.
Oh, and this guy isn't safe at all. Party animal, pussy hound. Sure, there's a pic or two of you together, but most of his profile is dedicated to shots of raves and cocktails and pretty girls.
You deserve better, don't you know that? Someone who can keep you safe when you're drunk, who can keep an eye on you when the clubs you like are filled with dark corners and shady drinks.
He's going to ask you out. It's only half decided - most of his brain pulling him one way and most of his cock pulling him the other. His heart split somewhere in the middle.
He's gonna be good for you, he knows it. Get rid of that overblown and overrated ex. Teach you which drinks are hopelessly overpriced and which ones are worth the cash. Not going to change you, no. That's what insecure men try and do when their girl likes to let loose on the weekends. No, he likes you just as you are. You need a bit of muscle to lean on, that's all.
But when the weekend rolls around, all his plans go swirling down the gutter. You're on your ex's arm again. Smiling too quick, laughing too sharp. But with him all the same.
C'mon doll, thought you were smarter than that.
You don't get a chance to chat. Your ex drags you straight into the club, barely waiting to get his ID back.
He wants to trade shifts. Abandon door duty and follow you around inside.
He doesn't. He snaps at the patrons and he bites his tongue bleeding and he clenches his fist until his nails dig into his skin, and he manages to not follow you.
The best decision to make, after all.
Your ex waits until the night is almost over to finally make his move. Or at least that's how it looks.
When he walks out of the club with his arm around your waist, it's clear that you're totally out of it. Barely standing on your own two feet, hair hanging forward and hiding your face.
He stops you. Of course he does. He's seen you tipsy and he's seen you blackout, but he's never seen you this bad.
Your ex tries to brush it off.
"She didn't have any head for the shots, that's all."
He doesn't buy it. Tilts your chin up and shines his torch in your eyes.
There it is. The fucking bastard.
Your pupils are blown out wide, not contracting at all even with his torch burning right into your retinas.
He knows you. Better than he'd like to admit. And he knows you don't party this hard.
He straightens and looks down at your ex with thinly veiled disgust.
"She's not going home with you."
The man laughs. "She's my girlfriend. 'Course she is."
He smiles. Or shows his teeth at least.
"She's. Not. Going. Anywhere."
The man freezes for a second, and then his smile turns nasty. "Who the fuck are you to decide who goes home with who?"
He wants to punch your ex in the throat.
He doesn't. Just looks at him, fingers curling into a fist almost as big as your head. Your ex is drunk, he's not as sharp as he would be sober. But his instincts aren't so dull that they don't recognise what's in front of him.
He's a bouncer, true. But more than that, he's a fighter.
Your ex can see it in the way he stands, can see it in the eyes that move too quick to follow.
And he's not just a fighter. He's a man with a whole lot to fight for.
Your ex licks his lips, too stupid to shut up.
"I'll call the cops on you, asshole."
The bouncer laughs. The first time anyone around here has ever heard it.
It's not a pleasant sound.
"Go ahead," he snarls softly, "Call them. And when they show up, why don't you also tell 'em the reason why your girlfriend is all shot up with special K, hmm?"
"She isn't -
"Don't even try it."
He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you away from your ex. The bastard at least has the sense to not fight him.
Your boyfriend starts going on about calling the club owner, getting him fired. But he doesn't bother listening - it all fades to nothing when he holds you.
There, the way it's 'sposed to be.
You're warm, burning up with a fever. (How hot does your cunt feel if your hands are already scorching?) He needs to get you checked out. Needs to make sure whatever shit your ex snuck you isn't mixing with the alc.
You blink up at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. (Your lipstick would look so fucking good staining his cock).
"Mr tall, dark and scary. Gonna get me home again?"
He nudges you in the direction of the parking lot and you stumble, hands knotting in his shirt.
"Even better, doll. Gonna take you home myself."
You close your eyes the second he straps you into his passenger seat. It takes a minute or two to shake you awake.
He isn't an EMT, but working clubs means knowing all the signs of an overdose. You're on the verge of passing out, but you're not in any real danger. Breathing regular, heartbeat fast but not concerningly so. Lucky. Things could have gone a whole lot worse. As it stands, all you're going to suffer tomorrow is a bit of nausea and one killer headache.
He brushes the hair out of your eyes and smiles when you lean your face into his palm.
"You're totally out of it, aren't you? Won't remember a thing come morning."
You hum quietly, lips brushing his pulse.
"The hell am I 'sposed to do with you? You don't even have your keys on you."
He sighs and closes the passenger door. No help for it - he's going to have to take you to his place. (You, in his bed, where you belong).
You don't complain when the engine guns to life. A little beyond the realm of registering those sorts of things.
And you don't complain when he carries you up to his apartment, your head in the crook of his neck.
He doesn't mean to undress you. He's a lot of things, but not a degenerate. It's just when he finally lays you down on his sheets, it's clear that the straps on your dress are cutting into your. Gonna leave marks that burn in the morning.
Getting you out of your dress is the responsible thing to do. And if it has his cock twitching, well, that's just coincidental.
You're in matching lace underwear.
He fists the blanket until he stops thinking of beating your asshole ex into a dirt.
She was gonna give it to you anyway, you bastard. You didn't have to drug her.
He breathes out through his nose. Once. Twice. Calm down, focus on the here and now. Deal with that bastard later.
There. Much better. And look at you, burrowing down into his pillows. Do you like the smell of him, is that what this is?
He undoes your bra and tosses it over his shoulder to join your dress and heels.
Didn't he once hear that it's unhealthy to sleep with a bra on? Increases the risk of cancer or something. Yeah, that's why he took it off. For the sake of your health.
He watches you for a while. The steady rise and fall of your chest, the flickering behind your eyelids as you start to dream.
He should take a picture or two. It would be a shame not to. And what you don't know can't hurt you, right? All pretty in his bed. God knows the girls he brings home never get the chance to sleep. This is a rare thing, worth documenting.
The flash doesn't bother you. Maybe a few more. Just to make sure they're good quality. Don't want to look back tomorrow and realise the pics are all blurry.
Just a few more. Maybe a video.
You look good, but you'd look even better without your panties in the way. They ruin the view.
He hooks his thumb under the band and slips them off, his fingers almost brushing your cunt.
There. So much better.
He swallows and puts his phone down, some part of him screaming at him for being a bastard. Another part screaming at him for not being a big enough bastard to take what he wants.
"You're too sweet to end up in a stranger's bed, doll. Getting fucked when you're too out of it to remember."
The streetlight outside his window washes you in alternating stripes of dark and light. He leans down and runs a hand up your thigh. Soft skin, like a peach right before you sink your teeth in.
"So it's a good thing we're not strangers."
2K notes · View notes
highvern · 4 months ago
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Dessert First
Pairing: Kim Mingyu x f!reader
Genre: baker! mingyu, wedding planner!YN, fluff, smut, angst, exes to lovers
warnings: hate for the Dodgers, alcohol consumption, smoking, past drug use, lots of mentions of food, mentions of anxiety/poor self esteem, past toxic relationship, a little bit of jealousy from reader, fingering, dry humping/thigh riding, oral sex, unprotected sex, cum eating
Length: ~21k
Note: FINALLY WE ARE HERE for @camandemstudios Lonely Hearts Cafe Collab. check out all the amazing fic (26 in total) on the master list. everyone has worked so hard and im so excited to read them thank u pookie @gyuswhore @miniseokminnies and @starlightkyeom for beta reading and telling me this wasn't trash
summary: You've got a great life. Your wedding planning business is booming, your clients are great, and you're finally over your ex-boyfriend after years of pining. Or you are, until the universe decides to test if those three things are actually true.
collab m.list || m.list
This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.
Comment to be tagged in the full fic coming February 17th!
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It starts with the coffee maker.
By all accounts you could buy a completely new one that actually worked but some sentimental part of you liked the baby blue machine with scratched enamel and an inability to brew a full pot in less than twenty minutes. If your coffee maker worked the way it was supposed to then you wouldn’t have left your apartment ten minutes late. And if you hadn’t left your apartment ten minutes late then you wouldn’t have arrived on the subway platform just as the train doors closed, forcing you to wait another ten minutes for the next train and by then the mist of rain outside devolved into a biblical downpour leaving you soaked to the bone despite a rain jacket and an umbrella. 
At least the binder containing every last detail of your life for the next two months is safe.
Sprinting down the street, your shoes squish through filthy puddles. No point in taking the extra time to dodge them, you’re already twenty minutes behind schedule with a ruined pair of brand new loafers. The only saving grace is Joshua and Sarah’s, your clients, habit of running at least thirty minutes behind. Which is why you told them the meeting started at 10AM and not 10:30. 
So technically you aren’t late. Yet. But you planned a thirty minute buffer to meet with the pastry chef and discuss color scheme, flavors, and logistics before Joshua and Sarah arrived to ensure everything went smoothly. As smooth as it can with clients that believe more is more and have no budget. 
The cafe bustles to the brim with people trying to escape the tsunami outside and enjoy something sweet. Damp businessmen sip cups of coffee while thumbing through damp newspapers, college students cram over notebooks with cookies by their side. A group of moms cluster on the couches, baby toys and lattes strung across the table while they share the latest playground drama. You can see yourself bunkered down at the table by the wide bay window, typing away emails and finalizing calendars with a hot cup of coffee and one of the massive croissants displayed on the counter.
Joshua and Sarah insisted on using Dessert First for their cake. They had their first date here and you can see why they love it so much. The display case sits packed with cakes and pastries; tarts with jewel like fruit, iced treats that make your mouth water. The heavenly scent of almond, vanilla, and coffee clouded the air. Plants hung from the ceiling, a shelf in the far corner stacked with pre-packaged goods to go.
You can almost forget the chill seeping into your veins from the cozy aroma of vanilla and espresso. A perfect oasis in the middle of the overcrowded city.
You’re still ten minutes early according to your watch. Plenty of time to devise a battle strategy with whatever unfortunate baker owns this place. You couldn’t find anything about them online, no pictures or reviews that mentioned them by name; only one article in the city newspaper announcing the grand opening last year which obviously resented a bakery replacing the former pizza shop that was shut down due to a myriad of legal issues. Who knew money laundering was so prevalent?
Even when you called to schedule this meeting you couldn’t get a name, just one of the cashiers promising to put you on the calendar before hanging up without asking for any of your information.
Stepping towards the cash register, a lone employee taps a quiet beat on the counter with his fingers, lost in his own world. Vernon, his name tag reads. You're almost certain this is the same man you spoke to one the phone.
“Hi.” You plaster on your most convincing smile, hoping it distracts from the wet mess of your…everything. “I’m supposed to be meeting with the pastry chef. I’m—”
He cuts you off with a snap. “You’re the wedding planner lady, right?” 
“Yep, that’s me.”
“I’ll let him know you’re here. You want a coffee?”
“A coffee would be great,” you sigh in relief. 
“Cream? Sugar?”
“Nope, just black,” you nod. “Thanks.”
Vernon fills a mug almost to the top before sliding it across the counter and disappearing into the back with a swish of the kitchen doors. While he grabs the mysterious baker, you head towards the table in the window. It’s perfect. You can see the entire cafe and the street, with plenty of space for everyone to gather around. Plus, it’s far away from the A/C blowing steadily on the opposite side of the cafe.
At best, you hope your new colleague will take the stress of this wedding for the premium pay. Sarah and Joshua want a lot but they’re willing to put their money where their mouths are. And unfortunately, they’re nice. Pleasant to the point you can’t fathom telling them no.
There was a point where you felt the butterflies they felt, and you wanted the same dream wedding they wanted. Maybe that’s why you’re willing to do whatever it takes to give them the perfect day they envisioned. That, and the promise of high end clients if everything goes well.
You’re too busy organizing everything to perfection on the table to notice a new presence over your shoulder until he clears his throat. This isn’t how you planned to introduce yourself but you steel against the embarrassment of the morning and turn around. “Hi, I’m—”
Mingyu.
Any hope of this working shatters into a million pieces before your eyes.
Fuck.
The shock buckles your knees, collapsing onto your ass on the hard tile floor. Trying to scramble for balance only brings the stack of papers on the table down with you. 
It isn’t enough to face your ex after years in private, there is no way the universe is this cruel. The only logical reason for any of this is you slipped and fell down the subway station stairs and are currently in a coma in the back of an ambulance. That must be what happened because this level of mercilessness is the type of thing only your subconscious could brew.
“Are you okay?” Mingyu asks.
Dejectedly, you slump on the floor. Kill me, you pray. But when you open your eyes, Mingyu is kneeling over you, eyebrows furrowed like he’s concerned. 
He offers you a hand. “What are you doing here?” 
You push him off, diving down for your scattered belongings to hide the embarrassment burning your face. So much for the dramatic ‘I won’ encounter you fantasized about post breakup. “I’m meeting the owner. What are you doing here?”
Rising to your feet, you try to keep your chin held high. Neither of you are winning in this situation but you cling to your pride even if it’ll kill you. You know what Mingyu is doing here before he even says it. He’s got an apron covered in flour cinched around his waist and that stupid Dodgers hat from college he apparently still refuses to toss out holding his hair back. It’s longer than the last time you saw him, curling around his ears.
“I’m the owner.”
“Of course, you are,” you laugh bitterly. “Did you know about this?”
“Obviously not,” Mingyu scoffs. “Do you think I was like ‘oh yeah, I’d love to work with my ex-girlfriend on your wedding cake, what a great surprise!’”
He respected your boundary to not see each other after the break up; only communicating through Soonyoung to coordinate moving out of your shared apartment. You hadn’t blocked his number but he didn’t take advantage of it. He didn’t call or text, left your social media alone. Mingyu turned into a ghost at your command. 
No, Mingyu wouldn’t do this to you. The universe just hates you enough to make it happen.
Besides, it’s too late to cancel and even if you wanted to, Sarah and Joshua gushed nonstop about having their dream cake made by none other than your ex-boyfriend. You could do this. You were a professional. You’ve worked with far worse people than Mingyu, and in two months, you would never have to see him again.
Mingyu takes a seat at the table, watching as you do the same. You try not to show how flustered you are while neatly organizing everything again. 
He breaks the silence. “How are we doing this?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do I know you? Or are we pretending we’ve never met before? Should we make a quick slideshow about all the reasons we didn’t work out? I’m sure you have one.”
You sour at the comment but only because somewhere on your laptop is a slideshow detailing the epic explosion resulting in your break up, color coded by who won the fight. It was easier than explaining again and again to your friends how someone like you and someone like him just didn’t work. Especially when all they saw was a handsome face and a nice smile.
Lying would only come back to bite you in the ass later but how would it look for a wedding planner to work side by side with her failed long term relationship? At best, your clients wouldn’t care. It really isn’t any of their business why you and Mingyu ended things. The sour ending between you two wouldn’t affect work; you could work with someone you didn’t like. You did it all the time. 
Worst case scenario, they’ll think you’re a complete fraud and incapable of planning the perfect day to celebrate their love since your own romantic life is a burning garbage fire doused in gasoline. They’ll think there is no way you and your ex–boyfriend can work together for the next six weeks to pull this off and they’ll be left in the ruins.
“We’re…friends of friends.” 
“Got it,” he nods. “So friend…how’s business?”
You shrug, focusing on the small line forming at the cash register. “Good. Busy.”
Truly, business was better than ever before. Sarah chose you after her friend’s wedding was praised in the city paper as the event of the season. Thank whatever powers be that Jeonghan agreed to write the feature if you planned his sister’s wedding for free; all the work paid off in spades for the free advertising. You even had enough money to bring Seungkwan on as your part time assistant.
But you don’t need to bog Mingyu down with the details of how busy you were. You want to know how everything around you finally came out of his brain and into existence; right down to the sleek espresso machine and the display case of artfully decorated cakes. You should have recognized all the details he spent hours describing for when he opened his own bakery like he always wanted, checkerboard tiles and all.
“You can ask,” he says.
There is no point in pretending you aren’t curious. He could see right through it.
“When did all this happen?”
“Last year.”
“I didn’t know you quit your job.”
“We weren’t really on speaking terms…” Mingyu shakes his head. “I started working at Annette’s on Second the year before that. Saved up. Now I’m here.”
“Well, if Sarah and Joshua are anything to go by, you’ve got the best cake in the city.”
Mingyu looks away and at first you think it’s because he can’t take the compliment. But that’s unlike him. He loves compliments, even if he gets flustered and pink at the collar. When he looks back, his lip is pinched between his teeth in barely contained laughter.
“Not like that!” you gasp.
“I didn’t say anything!” he argues.
Your eyes roll as you settle back into your chair. It feels too close to normal, like you’re back in those days when Mingyu was some guy you truthfully did only know through a friend of a friend. Before he asked you to a party at his apartment, before you told him you weren’t interested in seeing anyone else; before…everything. 
You can’t go down that road. Discussing business is far safer than whatever this is; if this is anything to be worried about at all. Mingyu was always a flirt and obviously hadn’t changed in the years spent apart. It didn’t mean anything. It wouldn’t mean anything.
“Alright, so before they get here,” you start, flipping through your notes. You have less than ten minutes to convince Mingyu to do this wedding, when you really need six months and good blackmail. “They want a wedding cake for Saturday, individual panna cottas for the rehearsal dinner Friday night, and cookies waiting for everyone at the hotel when they arrive on Thursday… Oh, and sticky buns and coffee cake for breakfast Sunday morning for people to grab as they leave. I think that’s it.” 
“Oh, that’s it?” 
You shrug. “They might change their mind once they get here.”
“Like how?”
“They said they wanted all the stuff they’ve eaten here since they started dating so maybe they’ll remember something else once we get talking.”
“They come in a lot…” Mingyu winces.
As if divine fate, the couple in question barge through the door, perfectly dry in designer coats like they walked off a movie set.
“Sorry we’re late!” Sarah announces.
“Don’t worry about it. We were just chatting.” Mingyu shrugs, rising to shake their hands. “Can I get you both something to drink?”
You swallow the jealousy from catching a glimpse of Sarah’s engagement ring as she and Joshua settle down. Vintage emerald cut diamond big enough to see from the moon but somehow fits her reserved style despite being passed down in Joshua’s family several generations over. You’ve planned a lot of weddings which means you’ve seen a lot of engagement rings; some good, some great. But Sarah’s is the stuff out of a Cartier commercial.
After Mingyu settles everyone with fresh coffee, he pulls his chair back out, spins it around and takes a seat with his arms crossed over the back. 
“All right, let’s talk dates—”
“Six weeks,” Joshua says.
“Six…weeks?” Mingyu blinks several times like he also is beginning to believe this is some horrible coma induced nightmare.
You school your features into the perfect picture of innocence. “Didn’t I mention that?”
He doesn’t buy it for a second. No fucking way, his eyes say.
I’ll kill you slowly and painfully, your own respond.
“We know it’s fast but we don’t wanna wait,” Sarah gushes.
“Right…” Mingyu sucks in a long breath. “Well, it shouldn’t be too hard to squeeze you into the schedule.”
What you hear beneath his appeasing tone is: you owe me big time.
Nonethewiser, Sarah and Joshua perk up like freshly watered daisies. 
The details hammer out quickly. Three hundred guests means hundreds cookies for the welcome party, a hundred individual desserts for the rehearsal dinner, and a massive four tiered cake for the wedding, and several batches of pastries for Sunday. You shove the curated stack of inspiration pictures into his hands, grimacing when his eyes widen. They’re all vintage round cakes with pounds of icing piped on with painstaking details. Rosettes, ruffles, bulbs of white icing with fresh cherries on top; everything but the kitchen sink slapped together. 
But despite the overwhelming demands, the numbers rack up behind his eyes. You’ve been in business long enough to estimate prices of everything from flowers to cake to bartenders to a balloon arch. The cake itself is easily three thousand if not more with how much detail they want. Add on the other desserts and Mingyu must realize he’s sitting on the biggest contract he’s ever seen with the promise of more business if all goes well. Plus, Sarah’s family reputation means every detail of the wedding would be front page news – who attended, how much they spent, and what businesses were lucky enough to serve an heiress. And if it was good enough for an heiress, then brides all over the city wanted the same treatment no matter the cost.
He’d be stupid to turn them down. You’d strangle him if he even considered it; right across the table top separating you two.
“I can definitely do this. What are we thinking for flavors?”
“Chocolate,” Sarah says.
“Lemon!” Joshua adds.
“What about vanilla? Grannie Donna won’t eat anything fancy,” she warns. “Since it’s four tiers, can we do four flavors?”
You focus on the vein in Mingyu’s neck growing more pronounced as they prattle off on a million different tangents; fondant versus icing, fruit filling or mouse, alcohol infused or would that be too much? They are nice enough but it was like herding cats every time you sit down with them. Spare no expense but your sanity. In time, Mingyu will learn that presenting them too many decisions at once is asking for trouble, but for now you revel in watching him fluster through each option in painstaking detail. 
“How about we do a tasting next week?” Mingyu asks, clearly exhausted. The only thing preventing him from tugging at his hair the way he always does when stressed is that hideous baseball hat. “I can do a slice of each cake flavor we have and the fillings you're interested in.”
“That’ll be perfect!” Sarah claps.
Once they agree to a time, Sarah rushes Joshua out the door for brunch with her parents leaving you alone with Mingyu.
“Six weeks?” he asks.
“How do you think I feel?”
“The pay is that good?”
“She has shoes worth more than my life and Josh’s family has a summer home in Antibes.”
“Where the fuck is Antibes?” Mingyu blurts.
“France.”
“Well, shit.”
“Yeah. So for the next six weeks I’m in charge of getting them whatever they want. Even if that means putting on an apron and making their cake myself.”
Mingyu shudders. “Never threaten me with your cooking.”
“I’m not that bad!”
“Right,” he says. “I forgot omelets and spaghetti are supposed to be crunchy.”
“Anyway…” Your eyes roll. “Think you can handle everything?”
He leans back, arms crossing over his chest. “I haven’t done a wedding before. It’ll be good for business.”
The corner of your lip twitches because you know that look on his face. Mingyu likes a challenge and what you’re asking of him is probably his biggest challenge yet.
“Alright then,” you say, rising from your seat. “I’ll see you next week.”
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“How was the meeting?” Seungkwan asks around a mouthful of pad thai.
You pick at your own plate with gusto. Your day had been packed with meetings since this morning’s nightmare, no time for a change of clothes or anything other than the coffee and pastries Mingyu sent you off with. But Seungkwan surprised you with take out and a Ted Lasso marathon after you wrung out.
 “You will never guess who the baker is.”
“Mingyu.”
“How the fuck did you know that?” You whip around to face him, elbow catching on the coffee table. “Ow! Fuck!”
Seungkwan shrugs, unmoved by your pain. “Because I know everything.”
“And it didn’t occur to you to—I don’t know—mention that to me?” you shriek.
“It did. But it was more fun this way.”
“Well I’m glad one of us finds this funny.” You stab a carrot on your plate with more force than needed.
“So how is he?”
“I thought you knew everything?”
“That good, huh?” Seungkwan asks with an eyebrow wiggle. “Did he make a move?”
“Yeah, he actually asked me if I wanted to do him right there on the coffee bar in front of everyone. Obviously, not.”
“Sounds like you wish he did.”
“Ew, no.”
“Oh, please,” he snorts. “As if you’d turn him down.”
“I would.”
“You guys never did the whole break-up sex thing. Just the ‘break up and never speak again’ thing. You are long overdue for it.”
“The point of breaking up is that we don’t see each other anymore.”
“What does that have to do with anything? And now that he’s back in the picture, you don’t feel even the smallest bit of curiosity?”
“No.” 
Lie. Lie, lie, lie, lie, LIE. Of the millions of reasons you broke up with Mingyu, lack of attraction wasn’t one. It wasn’t enough that he was tall and handsome, he was actually a good person who wore generosity like a second skin. In the weeks following your break up you resisted the urge to ask him for any sort of ‘closure.’ And gradually, those feelings and curiosity went away the longer you ignored them. But seeing him today brought those dead feelings back with enough force to leave you breathless.
“Whatever you say.”
“I’m not that easy.”
“It’s not about being easy, it’s about having hot hate sex with your ex boyfriend,” Seungkwan tsks. “Why can’t you be normal like everyone else?”
“Not everyone is having sex with their ex-boyfriends!”
“Not everyone’s ex-boyfriend is Mingyu!”
“Why are you invested in my sex life?”
“Because as your friend and employee, you are way better to work with when you’re getting laid.”
“Yeah well you’re better to work with when you mind your own business.”
“He looked good, didn’t he?”
You throw your arms up in defeat. “Fine, yes. He looked good.”
“And?”
“And ‘hot, hate sex’ doesn’t sound like the worst thing ever.”
“And?”
“What else is there? I’m not gonna do it. I have to work with him for the next two months.”
“I don’t know, I just wanted to see what else you’d admit, skank.”
Mid-suffocating Seungkwan with a throw pillow, your phone lights up with a text. Speak of the devil.
Mingyu: realized i didn’t give them a quote on price
When you told him how good the money was, you thought he’d understand. Sarah came from money so old her family were probably the first cavemen to need a bank account. Joshua had family members married to royalty in other countries. 
“Is that him? What did he say? Is he asking you to come over?” Seungkwan tries to look over your shoulder.
YN: send me the invoice and i’ll take care of it
Mingyu: aye aye captain
You blare at Seungkwan, sinking back into the couch. “No, it’s about work. Because we work together now.”
“I hear office romance is all the rage these days.”
“I hear firing your assistant is too.”
Seungkwan mutters something under his breath but goes back to watching TV, leaving you to think about what he said.
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The first time you met Mingyu was three minutes before Holly, your junior year roommate, shared you two would be splitting twin bunk beds for a weekend at her family’s lake house.
You couldn’t complain. A free weekend on the lake? There was no way you’d ever afford something like it with your budget. As the only two single people on the entire trip, it was a blessing you got real beds and not a pull out couch or air mattress in the living room. Besides, Mingyu seemed nice enough and you wouldn’t be spending that much time in the tiny bedroom anyway. It would be perfectly fine.
And then it rained that entire weekend.
Being stuck inside with five couples for four days left you and Mingyu scrambling to find anything to distract from third wheeling. Turns out, he made good company.
“Pool?” Mingyu asked after the seventh round of cards. Seven losses in a row made him desperate for something he could beat you at.
Eager for anything to prevent going back to your room which shared a wall with Holly and Soonyoung, you tossed the cards on the table and followed him.  “Do you know how to play?”
“Do you?” Mingyu turned with two cues in his hand. He passed one to you before grinding the blue chalk on the tip of his.
“Maybe.” You shrugged, racking the balls.
The first game ended in uncontested victory. Mingyu managed to scratch every turn he got, sinking two stripes before the eight balls tipped into a corner pocket and declared you the winner after barely ten minutes.
“How are you this bad at pool?” you asked.
Mingyu sipped his beer indignantly. “Sorry we can’t all be experts.”
“I only pocketed three balls, you lost all on your own. ” You laughed at his eye roll. “Re-rack the balls and I’ll show you.”
Mingyu did as you said, and rounded back where you stood, eager for instruction.
“Okay, now get in position.”
Eying him up and down, you didn’t focus anywhere for too long in fear of getting distracted by…all of it. You had eyes, you could see how handsome he was. Not to mention the last two mornings he woke up early to workout and came back shirtless while you pretend to sleep, watching from the top bunk as he dug through his duffle for a change of clothes. 
“First problem,” you started, moving into his space. “Your hands are a mess. Move your left hand, no. Your other left hand.” You pulled his hand away from the green velvet of the table, splaying his fingers wide under your own. “Use this one to aim. Balance the cue between two fingers, it’ll keep it stable so you don’t scratch against the table.” Then your front plastered to his back but you were too dedicated to correcting him to think much beyond the clumsy way he fumbled the stick. “It helps if you keep your grip tight. Now, focus between the tip of the cue and the ball. Don’t do anything crazy, just aim straight.”
The balls cracked on impact, flying different directions and ricocheting off the border until the orange stripe sinks into the corner. 
Mingyu stared, mouth wide and cheeks rosy. Your own body vibrated where it touched him; something fluttered up your front, where the heat of his back lingered; where you could still feel the way his chest expanded with each breath. 
“See?” you breathed into his ear, pleased at his shiver. “Better already.”
The second game was slightly better than the first. Mingyu improved, pocketing a few more balls. Everytime he looked at you for approval, you forgot how to breathe. You intentionally pocketed the eight ball too soon just to catch your breath.
“I’m gonna grab another beer,” you said, disappearing upstairs. 
When you returned, Mingyu insisted on a third game. Alcohol didn’t help keep either of your shots steady but it did make things hazy around the edges. You touched Mingyu more, finding any excuse to correct his form. He let you before starting to ask for more pointers, watching closely as you pocketed more balls.
Mingyu’s hand covered yours when you descended into puddles of laughter after he sent the cue ball flying across the room. Then you were kissing; pinned between his mouth and pool table.
That night, you didn’t hear anything from Holly and Soonyoung’s room. All you heard was the sound of Mingyu between your thighs and then, later, the steady beat of his heart as you fell asleep against his chest.
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The tasting appointment comes fast. In the past week you’ve exchanged a few more messages with Mingyu, all strictly professional which serves to soften the lead in your stomach. You can do this. You can work with him and not have it be weird. In five weeks everything will be done and you can go back to sweet ignorant bliss, ignoring his entire existence.
You just have to survive.
Another stormy day leaves the subway running late and traffic bumper to bumper. At least this time, you’re dry when you arrive ten minutes early for the tasting.
Vernon wipes down the counters, the display case empty for the night and most of the chairs turned over on top of tables. 
“Is Mingyu—”
“I’ll get him from the back,” Vernon says, disappearing through the kitchen doors with a swish.
Without the bustle of people, the cafe feels much larger. However, it maintains a cozy warmth even when there are no kids leaving sugar cookie crumbs on the floor, or old men tapping their fingers on the table while reading the news. 
Years ago, when you were still dating, he described this exact cafe in detail. Somewhere that felt casual enough for afternoon coffee but fancy enough to bring a date. You helped him put together inspiration boards; paint swatches, furniture ideas, sketched out logos. You should have recognized all of it the first time you visited: the bookshelves stuffed with board games and plants, tables with local ceramics for sale, down to the beaten up couches sandwiching a coffee table with a wooden chess board on top. Exactly what Mingyu wanted. 
You’re happy for him. 
Your phone vibrates, lighting up with a text from Sarah.
Fuck.
Mingyu comes out from the kitchen as you’re typing out a response, same Dodgers hat and flour covered apron as last week. 
“I have everything ready, when are they supposed to get here?” he asks.
“They’re stuck on the bridge and traffic hasn’t moved in thirty minutes.”
It’s already later than you’d like. By the time they arrive, taste everything, and settle down on their order, it’ll be well past the last train to your apartment and all you want after a day running around the city is to go home and curl up on the couch with a glass of wine and bad reality TV. You release a slow breath, a dull throb resonating in your temple. 
Mingyu sighs as well before responding, “Well, if you wanna hangout out here, be my guest. I’m gonna work on some orders in the back until they get here.”
Like always, your unread emails near the triple digits even after only a few hours away from your phone. You set up at one of the chairs lining the counter, laptop hot to the touch and sounding ready for take off. Couples in full meltdowns, vendors needing finalized contracts, venues looking to do walkthroughs and be added to your roster of recommendations. You get the most pressing ones done; a couple deciding they wanted to change their theme from regency garden party to rustic botanical (they’re still a year out, thank god), an overdue invoice from Jihoon for express order of white Dahlias (you sent the filled invoice dated from last week back), a hotel trying to split the block of hotel rooms you already arranged for a wedding next month (absolutely not).
For every fire you put out, three more crop up in its place.
It’s fine. You handle it the way you handle everything, fueled by exhaustion and waning patience. Washing down the last sip of coffee Vernon provided before leaving, you tiptoe around the counter to fill up the mug to the top before setting back to work. You can hear Mingyu humming to himself through the kitchen doors.
A wave of nostalgia washes over you. Years ago, back when you first started and had all of two couples willing to take the risk of hiring someone completely new to the industry, you’d park yourself at the thrifted dining room table in your shared apartment. He’d make dinner, humming away while you worked furiously on your laptop. Polishing your business plan, researching licenses and permits, emailing florists and photographers and anyone else you could network with. Crying from the stress after the hundredth ‘no.’
When it got too much for him to bear, Mingyu would force your laptop out of the way, tuck it away somewhere you couldn’t reach with the promise you could have it back after you ate something that wasn’t popcorn or coffee. The nights he failed to distract you, he’d stand behind your chair, massaging your tense shoulders until your eyes drooped and let him pull you into bed.
But now, Mingyu hides in the kitchen because he is avoiding you. You’re hunkered down at the bar with cold coffee and a dying laptop because you’re avoiding him. It’s hard not to imagine all the what if’s but you focus on work because work is safe; where you can channel all the restless energy and pretend you aren’t thinking about what Seungkwan said.
Then, because life is never kind, the power goes out.
And it stays out.
“Damn it,” you hear Mingyu curse.
Using your phone as a flashlight, you meet him at the kitchen doors.
“Powers out,” he says, wincing at the harsh light of your phone.
“That's what it is?” you gasp mockingly. “I thought you were politely telling me to leave.”
“Smartass,” he huffs. “Can you call the utility company? My phone’s dead.”
“Sure.”
Mingyu leads you back through the kitchen, towards the office. The scent of sugar and vanilla is more concentrated back here, clinging inside your nose. You take stock of everything: steel work benches, one with a half decorated cake frozen in time. Metal shelves filled with proofing dough, others jammed full of freshly baked loaves for tomorrow. The far wall is nothing but industrial sized ovens. Luckily, they’re all empty. 
You try not to stare for too long but you hate mystery and the doors separating the kitchen from the rest of the cafe have kept you from knowing anything about this space. Maybe that was for the best because your imagination takes over. You see Mingyu kneading dough on one table, sleeves rolled up. Meticulously piping icing flowers onto the half finished cake. Whipping up macaroon batter in the gigantic mixer. All the things he did in the tiny kitchen at your old apartment, now with the space he needs to bring his recipes to life.
He ushers you into the closet turned office. On looks alone, you know your arms could touch the side walls without fully extending. Mingyu takes up seventy percent of the space on his own. You don’t think about it.
“I know I have the number somewhere,” he says, digging through a stack of papers. 
You aim the flashlight a little higher to help him see.
Mistake.
There is nothing overtly sexual about one person’s elbow grazing someone’s shoulder. Not unless you're a Regency era gentlewoman and a flash of ankle sends men into a fit of passion. However, Seungkwan’s words about Mingyu still ring in your ears no matter how much you try to drown them out.
You’re close enough for the scent of his cologne to fill your senses, soak in the heat of his skin through his shirt where your elbow brushes against him as he flips through papers. If he notices the way your breath stutters, he fails to mention it. 
Your face heats. How embarrassing is it that the first time you're alone with him since the breakup, all you can think about is if Seungkwan was right and if Mingyu would be any good at it. By history alone, you know he is which opens a whole other can of worms because it’s been months since you had the time or energy for anything beyond a drunk bar makeout with a stranger. Of all the issues in your relationship with Mingyu, lack of chemistry in the bedroom was never an issue.
“Got it!”
You snap to attention. After handing you the business card, Mingyu grabbed a flashlight from the desk drawer and left to check the generator.
Before you dial the number, you ground with a few breaths. It’s just Mingyu. He is just Mingyu. Mingyu who you broke up with and don’t regret leaving. The same man who clearly was no longer thinking about you in any way other than a temporary thorn in his side. 
The office doesn’t have any service so you wander back into the kitchen. Mingyu is off somewhere but you can’t hear him as you dial the electric company. You aren’t scared of the dark and definitely not storms but being all alone out front raises hairs on the back of your neck. Maybe your heart is overcompensating for being alone in Mingyu’s presence and is channeling that energy into something less embarrassing, like the Boogey Man. 
The line is still ringing when the lights come back on, flickering at first like some cheap horror movie gimmick, but they stay on. 
You leave a message for their automated voicemail complaining about the issue and hang up as Mingyu comes back into the kitchen from a door in the back.
“Fixed it?” you ask.
“No, I didn’t even get the door unlocked.”
“Well, hopefully it’s fixed.”
“Did Josh and Sarah say anything about when they’d get here?”
You glance at your phone, sending a quick text to Sarah that she responds to immediately.
Sarah: traffic still backed up :( probably another hour
Sliding your hand down your face, you release a long breath. There is no rescheduling. This has to be done tonight or the already tight deadline will become impossible for Mingyu to meet. 
“I’m going back out front.”
“The Wi-Fi won’t come back for a while,” Mingyu warns.
“Then I will bash my head into the counter until I die or they get here. Whatever comes first.”
“I don’t have that kind of insurance,” he jokes. “I could use a hand, if you’re up for it.”
Your brain doesn’t go straight to the gutter but only because you refuse to allow it. Professional. You are a professional. And professionals do not sleep with their colleagues even if the colleague in question is their ex-boyfriend who historically proved to be great to sleep with.
“What happened to ‘don’t threaten me with your cooking’?” 
“The fact you think this is cooking proves that point. Just crack all the eggs into the bowl.” He shoves a massive flat of eggs and a large steel bowl across the counter before focusing back on the half decorated cake.
The kitchen falls into comfortable silence. The crack of shells against the counter, the sound of your breaths evening out simultaneously. You lose yourself in the task; crack, open, toss, repeat. Easy. Halfway through the tray you feel Mingyu’s gaze.
“What?” you ask, not looking up.
“People tend to prefer their cakes without shells.”
A few pale shell fragments float in the bowl. There aren't that many, he’s just picky.
“I was going to get them all after,” you huff.
His responding snort sets you off. To your own surprise, the empty egg in your hands smashes into the center of his apron covered chest.
He freezes, eyes flashing to yours. “You didn’t.”
“Oh, but I did,” you nod, an evil grin twisting your face.
When you stoop low, Mingyu races to meet you. He dips his hand into the bowl of sifted flour resting on the bench,  and flicks it onto your cheek, into your hair. 
“You’re gonna pay for that,” you warn, taking a step closer as he takes one back. 
You slap a handful of icing on his neck, the pale pink color contrasting with the warm hue of his skin. 
“I’m going to kill you!”
“I’m shaking in boots,” you squeal, putting the metal table between you.
Flour, eggs, and buttercream litter the floor, making it too slick for an easy escape. Mingyu manages to snag your wrist before you can round the opposite side of the metal workbench. He’s got you pinned, trapped between a fingers covered in icing and the hard ledge. 
“Any last words?” he asks. His warm breath puffs over your face, face barely a hands distance from yours.
You don’t think as you roll up on your toes, exactly like the first time you kissed him. Your lips meet his, soft and warm; exactly how you remember them yet somehow better. It lasts barely a second before he withdraws, hovering a hair's breadth away. He’s going to brush you off, step away. Put a stop to whatever this is before it gets out of hand.
Mingyu kisses you again.
The hat holding his hair back falls to the floor, your hands burying in his hair to drag him closer. Muscle memory prevents any awkwardness. When Mingyu tilts his head, you go the opposite way. When you tug at his hair, a grunt tickles across your lips a second before his tongue does. His hands slot on your waist, pulling you firmly against his chest.
Your own roam over his shoulders, down his front until your body gets in the way – wedged so tight against his body you can feel his heart beating against yours. Mingyu lifts you onto the edge of the metal table, standing between your spread legs like so many times before.
You can’t think, you can’t breathe. Nerves dull from too much Mingyu too fast, but you don’t want him to stop. The taste of vanilla and sugar on his tongue is addictive and you whine when he leans back to leave a hot trail over the side of your throat.
Every part of you responds like no time has passed; nipples tight, hips curling against the zipper of his pants when Mingyu feels bold enough to ghost his teeth across your earlobe. You should have done this sooner. So much sooner.
Your hands are all over him like magnets, his the same. Too much to touch and still not enough. Mingyu leverages his weight until your back meets the counter top, completely at his whim. His stupid apron prevents every attempt to get his shirt off or sneak your hand into his pants but that doesn’t stop you. Mingyu’s back is just as nice to touch as his front, you grip his ass and roll your hips.
“Fuck,” he grunts when you do it a second time, rolling with more force into the friction.
A response bubbles in the back of your throat when someone out front calls “Hello?” 
Mingyu abandons the patch of skin revealed by the stretched neckline of your sweater, eyes meeting yours as you both realize for the first time exactly what was happening. All the reasons why this is a horrible idea sprint into your head.
One: he is your ex-boyfriend.
Two: Joshua and Sarah are less than twenty feet away.
You scramble from between him and the table, rushing to exit the kitchen, desperate for as much distance as possible from the disappointment you caught in his gaze. “Coming!”
Flour clings to the cuff of your sweater, and there is definitely frosting and egg shells in other places. 
“Sorry we’re late,” Joshua says.
“It’s fine!” you squeak. Your lips feel swollen and tingly, the heat of Mingyu’s hands lingering on your back, your cheeks burning hotter. You pray neither of them notice the clear signs they interrupted whatever you were doing with him in the back. 
Mingyu sweeps through the door, pinker than you left him, hair a mess. “Who is ready for some cake?” 
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“I think I wanna do wedding planning,” you shared over a mouth of pasta.
“Wedding planning?” Mingyu asked. He manned the stove partially nude, only a pair of boxers saving his modesty, messy hair hidden by a backwards baseball hat – like a regular frat boy. He insisted on a midnight snack after a joint and a blowjob on the couch during the newest episode of Prehistoric Planet.
“Yeah,” you said. “Wedding planning. Planning weddings. Dealing with bridezillas and their crazy in-laws.”
Mingyu turned towards where you sit on the countertop with an amused smile, eyes bloodshot. “Okay. What can I do to help?”
“Do you know anyone getting married?”
“We know the same people,” he laughed.
“You’re not helping!” you whined.
Mingyu returned back to the pan, stirring with measured precision, shoulders tense. 
Gotcha, you thought.
Mingyu couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it. Especially from you. Not for long. He had one, you just needed to apply the right pressure.
You pulled him away from his cooking, ushering him to stand between your legs. You weren’t playing fair, in his shirt and nothing else, gazing at him with soft features he was already enamored with. “You don’t know anyone thinking about getting married?”
Like an overstuffed pillow, his lips bursted open with a rush. “Soonyoung is planning to ask Holly.”
A wicked grin splits your face. “Really?” 
“But they’re eloping.” Mingyu collapsed into your shoulder, nose tracing the curve of your throat. 
“Well, I can still help them!” you said. “When is he asking?”
You ignored his hand sneaking up your thigh but it’s not necessary. He only wanted to hold you close, cuddly and touch starved from a little too much weed. He sighed, squeezing you tight against him.
“Next week, when we’re all back at the lake house.”
You shuddered at the idea of sharing the wall between the bunk bed room and the master suite while they celebrated. Even after six years of dealing with their volume, it never got any easier. But this was the chance you needed. Something small, something with two people as easy to please as Soonyoung and Holly. 
“Do you think I’ll be good at it?” you asked, suddenly self conscious. 
“I think you can do anything you put your mind to,” he whispered against your hairline.
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Clipboard. Check. Phone charger. Check. Wallet. Check.
You methodically pack your bag for today’s appointment at the venue. You’ve never seen it in person but if the reviews and photos are even half true then it would be perfect, exactly what Sarah and Joshua envisioned. By some gigantic miracle, the Ellery Estate had a cancellation aligned with their desired date which has come simultaneously fast and slow. One more week, ten days to be specific, and this entire thing would be a done deal.
In the meantime, you just have to survive.
On the brightside, Mingyu was radio silent over the past four weeks, only responding when you reached out to him to confirm attendance for today. He insisted on delivering everything for the weekend himself and needed to know exactly how the kitchen was set up. Somehow, it became Sarah and Joshua offering to pay for his accommodations to stay through the event in case there was some cake related emergency. Joy.
The silver lining is he seemed to be as intent on ignoring the kiss as you were. He didn’t make any smart comments, or throw it in your face. After the cake tasting last month he all but sprinted into the back of the kitchen after everything was settled. It shouldn’t make you as annoyed as you felt, which made you even more annoyed. You shouldn’t have kissed him and he shouldn’t have kissed you back. 
Your phone rings, a familiar tune playing instead of the default chime. Only one person has that ringtone. Because you never bothered to change it, because you didn’t remember it even needed changing until now because the last time you heard it was years ago.
“What?” you snap after answering, continuing to back your bag with shaky hands.
Mingyu’s scoff crackles through the speaker. “Hello to you, too.”
“Hi. What?”
Mingyu sighs deeply over the line. “My car broke down.”
“Your what did what?”
“My car broke down. Well, someone actually totaled it –  but the point is, I don’t have a car.”
“The run through is this afternoon,” you say, voice shrilling with panic.
“So nice of you to be concerned. I’m fine by the way. And yeah, I know.”
Everyone had to be at the walk through, they had to. The caterer, the photographer, Seungkwan, you, Josh and Sarah, and Mingyu. There is no make-up day for Mingyu to go alone, the venue was booked solid up until the ceremony. Today is it.
The vein in your temple starts to throb. “You can ride with me.”
“Are you sure? That’s a long drive…”
“It’s fine. I need this to go well and if that means towing your ass everywhere then that’s what I’ll do.”
“How considerate,” Mingyu huffs.
“I’ll be at your apartment at noon. Do not make us late.”
“I’m not that bad anymore!” he argues.
“Alright, see you in an hour.” You hang up before he can say anything else.
You spend the next thirty minutes sprawled on the sliver of floor space between the couch and coffee table. This was fine. It was perfectly, absolutely, totally, one hundred percent fine. Better the rip off the bandaid of awkward discomfort sooner than later. You kissed Mingyu and now that it happened, it was firmly out of your system. You definitely don’t think about how if your mind slips from the tight leash of control, you can still feel everywhere his body pressed against weeks ago.
But as the last few weeks showed, no amount of ignoring the memories helped. When you literally took matters into your own hands, the short lived bliss of an orgasm fizzled into hollowness. Nothing relieved that consuming need. At your wits end, you downloaded Tinder with the sole purpose of finding someone who was not Mingyu to help but deleted it because deep down you knew it wouldn’t work either.
It hadn’t worked yet but, if you could firmly cement Mingyu as someone you worked with and not someone you knew every intimate detail about, then maybe the desire to kiss him again would go away.
Hopefully.
When you pull up outside the bakery twenty minutes later, Mingyu is waiting with his arms crossed over his chest and his foot tapping impatiently. Apparently, he lives in the apartment above the bakery. At least, that’s what he said. Maybe he’s lying to you because he doesn’t want you to know where he lives in case he screws up and you plot to kill him in his sleep. 
“You are not wearing that,” you say.
“What’s wrong with this?” Mingyu looks down at his outfit: t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. And like always, that ugly Dodgers hat. 
“They’re paying half a million for this venue. Put on some damn slacks,” you snap. “And brush your hair!”
“Who pissed in your cereal?” he grumbles but goes back inside. Ten minutes later, Mingyu walks out in slacks and a navy button up, hair tousled. “Happy?”
“Ecstatic.”
He mutters something else under his breath before buckling his seatbelt. Then you’re off.
The drive isn’t horrible. You’ve got a playlist that Mingyu is content with and he brought coffee along with a few pastries to snack on. You don’t linger on the fact he still remembers your order – iced latte with cinnamon. It doesn’t mean anything. He just has a good memory and was probably trying to smooth over the tension. 
Three hours later and a slightly numb but later, a large iron gate rolls into view, manned by multiple security guards. They check your IDs against their list of guests for the day before waving you through.
“Where the hell are we?” Mingyu asks. “Buckingham Palace?”
The venue is a modest mansion on 8,000 acres of lush land, hidden away in between rolling mountains and dense forest. Surrounding the pristine white building is a massive yard, mowed with a perfect checkerboard pattern. You creep down the pebbled driveway towards the front of the house where a man waits on the steps, impatiently checking his watch.
Mr. Ellery.
Even though you only spoke to him on the phone and exchanged emails, you know it’s him by his dry gaze and silent imposition, the fine cut of his suit screaming money. He resembles the butler from Haunted Mansion a little too much for comfort. Brown eyes – perfect to see straight through you – and thick white hair cropped close to his skull. 
Several other cars line the driveway. Sarah’s BMW, Seungkwan’s Volkswagen. The others you don’t recognize as you pull in next to them. You put the car in park, turning to Mingyu who looks a little paler than usual. 
“Please don’t say anything stupid.”
“When have I ever—”
“I’m serious.”
Mingyu mimes zipping his lips before getting out of the car. You take a deep breath, lungs stretched until they burn, releasing it slowly before opening the door.
“Mr. Ellery,” you greet, shaking his hand. You hope yours aren’t clammy with nerves. Either way, the slight annoyance on the older man’s face makes you feel like you could cure cancer and still be an inconvenience. “And this is our baker, Mingyu, he’ll be—”
“Everyone else has already arrived,” Mr. Ellery says dryly. “This way.”
You studied the venue website extensively before booking but nothing could have prepared you for seeing it in person. The massive exterior of the house does a poor job of betraying how spacious the inside is. Each click of Mr. Ellery’s expensive leather loafers on the marble floor echoes loudly, the high ceilings make the room feel infinite and you’re nothing more than a speck of dust floating through, about to be swatted by a maid. 
Sarah and Joshua are sipping champagne and nibbling cookies in the Rose Room, chatting with Jeonghan about the article for their wedding. Seungkwan is in the corner entertaining the caterer and photographer. You’re not late but somehow the shocked expression from everyone as you and Mingyu arrive makes you feel like you’re back in elementary school.
“Now that the entire party has arrived,” Mr. Ellery drawls. “We can begin our tour.”
A young woman named Tabitha leads Seungkwan, Mingyu, and the Dokyeom away to tour the kitchens and access points they’ll need while you, the happy couple, Jeonghan, and the photographer, Wonwoo, follow Mr. Ellery back into the main foyer.
“As mentioned on our website, my staff will handle all decoration set up and tear down. I have many priceless family heirlooms throughout the estate and wish to keep them in pristine condition,” Mr. Ellery says.
The air around him is stiff with seriousness. Ironic for a man named Shannon but you focus on nailing down details for the ceremony next week.
“Of course,” you nod. Your clipboard covered in notes is slowly checked off as each obstacle is addressed. Live band? Check. Dance floor installation? Check. Bridal suite, groom’s room, wedding party accommodations. It all flows smoothly.
Three hours later, you’re standing outside in the center of the Ivory Garden, one of the seven formal gardens. White tulips and daffodils explode out of the ground. Shrubs covered in pale quince petals offer a natural division on the sides, puff balls of viburnum exploding from emerald bushes. 
Wonwoo directs the couple around the space for some candid shots while you and Jeonghan watch from afar. Shannon was called away to handle an issue with the estate’s swans, leaving all you to kill time until he returns.
“I think he keeps bodies in the basement,” Jeonghan whispers.
“I think you should focus on interviewing Josh and Sarah.”
“When Joshua Hong, heir of the Hong Diamond’s empire met Sarah Ko, he knew he had a rare gem on his hands,” Jeonghan says into his phone microphone.
“You are so painfully cliche.”
He presses the record button again. “Their wedding was planned by the ultimate stick in the mud, Y/N. Her hobbies include drowning kittens and drinking tears.”
Before you can respond, or push him into the nearest bush like you itch to, Sarah comes running up. “Isn’t it just perfect?”
“Absolutely,” you nod.
“It’s going to be like a fairytale,” she sighs, face glowing. “Do you think delphinium would work better in the aisle floral arrangements than snapdragons? With all the space I think we’re going to need more height. Jihoon can do that, right?”
“That sounds like a great idea. Let me text him.” You smile but beneath the lift of your mouth, every muscle in your body pulls taunt. Jihoon already associated Sarah and Joshua with his own personal version of Hell. Changing the flowers a week out is going to put you on his hit list, if he doesn’t hunt you down immediately. 
You fumble with your phone, shooting off the request and bracing for his reaction.
Y/N: don’t hate me
Jihoon: if it’s the Hong wedding, i will kill myself in front of them and then haunt you
Great.
“My apologies,” Mr. Ellery says upon his return. “Where were we? Oh, yes. As we discussed, the champagne toast will take place in the courtyard…”
He shepherds your group back towards the manor. You follow behind, furiously typing on your phone.
Y/N: please tell me things are going well even if its a lie
Seungkwan: things are great! (not lying)
Seungkwan: DK says kitchen is perfect. He and mingyu worked out storage and timing
Your shoulders relax a fraction. At least something seemed to be fine. You’d take your wins wherever they came from. Even if it was just Mingyu and Dokyeom working out who got what shelf in the fridge.
Catching up to the group, Ellery stops in front of the large fountain serving as the courtyard’s centerpiece. “I believe that concludes our tour. Please join me inside for some refreshments before taking your leave.”
Dark clouds swirl overhead, only just hesitating to release all the water they’ve swelled with over the course of the afternoon. As much as you wished to stay and brow beat the old man until your face turned blue, three hours in the pouring rain back to the city wasn’t worth what could be solved over email.
Seungkwan, Dokyeom, and Mingyu stand around, chatting with Tabitha in the main foyer, much laxer than you expected. At least your assistant wasn’t lying to your face. If things went poorly, you don’t Dokyeom and Mingyu would be acting like long lost friends. 
You snag a glass of water from the table, emptying it before heading in Mingyu’s direction.
“How’d it go?”
“Good,” you tell him. “It’s a long drive back so we should head out.”
“I can drive,” Mingyu offers.
“I don’t think so.”
“You have work to do. I don’t. Just let me drive.” 
There's more to it than that and you know it. Hiding your anxiety from clients was one thing. They didn’t know what cracks to look for, what obvious tells were. But Mingyu did. He always had a way of reading you like the back of his own hand.
Even if he’s doing it to be nice, Mingyu gives you a solid excuse to pretend like everything is fine. You really can’t afford to lose three hours to driving when you have an angry florist to talk down from the ledge, hotel reservations to finalize, and a serious lack of sleep. Jihoon would take at least an hour to convince not to disappear into the woods forever.
“Fine.”
You ignore Seungkwan’s pointed look at Mingyu takes your keys and you open the passenger side door.
The drive home is much the same way as the drive out, quiet but the tension from before seems to have melted. Mingyu hums along with the radio, fingers tapping a steady rhythm into the steering wheel. You send off emails and texts, Jihoon finally calming enough to bargain for a steep upcharge you don’t even try to haggle over. Seungkwan asks about Mingyu every other text and you manage to ignore them in favor of tasking him with picking up Sarah’s aunt from the airport Thursday night.
Rain pelts the windshield, new mist immediately blurring the road barely a second after the windshield wipers clear it. 
Incoming Call…Jeonghan Yoon
A frown crosses your lips as you answer. “Hello?”
“Listen, I need some more info for the announcement but Sarah and Josh are all booked this week. Can I pick your brain?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Well don’t sound too eager. I’d hate to think you’re excited to hang out with me.”
Your lips quirk, a puff of amused breath. Leave it to Jeonghan. “Dinner. Tuesday, 8 PM at Plazzo’s.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Bye.” 
You end the call and return back to Ellery’s email detailing that the parking for the wedding would have to be valet only and the shuttle services would require an extra fee. 
“Date?” Mingyu asks.
You prickle. “No.”
“It’s fine if it is. I don’t—”
“It’s none of your business!” Your voice comes out sharper than intended. “But if you must know, it was Jeonghan who I’m not sleeping with and never have. Is that really what you think of me?”
“Sorry,” Mingyu concedes. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
The car is quiet after that. Not even the dull hum of the radio can mask the tension. Embarrassment already burns your face. Mingyu was just trying to make things feel normal.
“It’s not a date.”
“Okay, it’s not a date.”
“And even if it was, I wouldn’t talk about it with you.”
“Why not?” You level him with an expectant look. “Okay, fine. But for the record, it’s not like I don’t expect you to be dating. It’s been a long time.”
“For the record, I barely have the time to sleep, let alone date.”
“At least we still have that in common,” he jest. “If you need any advice on getting back out there—”
“No offense, but you are the last person I’d take dating advice from,” you snort, before realizing what you said. “Sorry that was mean.”
What was a warm space, froze back over. You watch Mingyu from the corner of your eye, the signs of his frustration clear as day; his jaw set tight, tongue pinned between his teeth. The rain falls steadier now, fat drops challenging the wipers to keep up. 
His grip on the steering wheel tightens. “No, you’re right. I haven’t been on a date in…years.”
The math circles your brain but you refuse to acknowledge the implications of his confession. 
“Why not?”
“Time. I’m in the bakery for like fifteen hours a day and I never—”
Just then, the car shudders violently. The force overrides Mingyu’s control of the wheel, swerving into the other lane before he regains control to slow down and pull up onto the side of the road. 
“What the hell?”
The car feels off balance, Mingyu’s side slouching closer to the ground. Fuck.
Your eyes close, head meeting the dashboard in preemptive defeat. “Please tell me it’s not what I think it is.”
“It’s exactly what you think it is.”
A long sigh leaves your nose. “Great.”
Mingyu mutters a curse before throwing open the door and disappearing outside. It’s so dark his silhouette is barely decipherable through the rain. All you can do is watch as he examines the tire in the dark.
A few minutes later, he ducks back into the driver's seat, significantly wetter than when he left. “The tire is flat. Should be an easy fix. Where is your spare?”
You hesitate. “That might be the spare.”
“I—” he starts. You prepare for a lecture about why driving on the spare is bad, how dumb you are not to get it replaced but Mingyu stops himself. “Do you have the number for a tow truck?”
“Yeah, let me just…no service. There was an exit a few miles back. Maybe we can walk there?”
“In this weather?” Mingyu asks.
“I don’t see you coming up with any ideas,” you reply.
“We wait until morning, when it’s not pitch black and raining, and then walk.”
“Fine.”
It's only a little past ten. No service means no distraction to fill the time with. Mingyu’s perpetually uncharged phone is already dead, and he doesn’t want to waste the car battery on charging it. So you both crowd together to watch the one show you have downloaded on your phone: Prehistoric Planet.
There’s nothing sexual or romantic about it other than the memories of giving Mingyu hickies on the lumpy couch of your shared apartment. The backing track to high makeouts that always led to more. This might be the first time you’ve actually tried to pay attention to what the mosasaur is doing.
Half way through the episode is too late to bail. Unless you want to admit to what exactly is going through your head, what he is clearly remembering; the massive elephant in the car. Next to you, Mingyu tries to act like he isn’t remembering the same details which only makes it all the more awkward. He doesn’t blink, doesn’t look at you. 
Forty minutes later, the credits roll. The car is dark. Mingyu’s breath comes out measured, yours too. 
You don’t know how it happens but Mingyu is folded at the waist over the center console, your hands on the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss. Unlike last time, he doesn’t hesitate. He tugs at you with equal enthusiasm, a hum of content tickling against your lips as you comb a hand through his hair.
He gets you into the back seat with some maneuvering, legs and arms at awkward angles but you're so caught in his orbit you don’t care. All you want is him and the more you have, the more you want.
Planted in his lap, you tug at his damp shirt. Tilting your head back, Mingyu nips along your throat until the collar of your shirt stops him. But not for long. You have it off and lost to the floor, while he folds the cups out of the way before sucking a nipple into the heat of his mouth. Distracted by the pinch of his teeth, you don’t feel his hand snake between your legs until the pads of his fingers prod against your panties.
“Mingyu,” you moan.
“God, you’re so wet.”
It’s only half the sentence you expect to hear. In the past he’d add “for me” but he doesn’t now. You don’t dwell on it. This is a bad idea. A horrible idea. No one is scheduled to interrupt, to remind you there is a world outside of the one between you and Mingyu’ that consequences for this lapse in judgement verge on fatal.
“We should—hmm—talk about this,” you whimper.
“Do you want me to stop?” Mingyu pants against your neck, fingers tucked inside your panties, teasing with a shallow dip up to his knuckle.
“No,” you object, dragging him back into another kiss. “Don’t stop.”
It’s only you and Mingyu. No one has to know, and in a week you’d never have to see him again.
You flatten your chest into his, teeth hard against his lower lip as you rut desperately across the firmness of his crotch. You want him in your mouth, inside you. You’re too needy to make either of you wait very long.
He’s hard enough for your hand to cup around as you twist into a familiar position, knelt on the car seat between Mingyu’s spread thighs. Years ago, back in college when you both had roommates, Mingyu’s car on the side of an abandoned road was a frequent spot for hickies and blowjobs. 
You don’t give yourself time to think as you peel his boxers down his thighs, honing in on his length immediately. Pretty isn’t a word you ever used to describe dicks until the first time you saw his. Mingyu huffs, chopped and ragged, as your tongue wets his cock with heavy licks; savoring the taste of him.
“Oh my god,” Mingyu groans at the roof, throat on display. 
His thighs jump under your nails as you suck the tip softly, a light tease he used to despise. All of his turn ons are at the front of your brain: gag a little too loud, squeeze on the upstroke, act like you want nothing more than the taste of him on your tongue.
A hand rest heavy on the back of your neck, nudging you down with the smallest amount of force. You gag with it, a rogue tear joining the mess dripping down your chin. You pull off to slap his cock against your tongue.
“Holy shit,” Mingyu gasps.
You wonder how long it’s been for him, if he’s gone through the same dry spell as you. Mingyu said he hadn’t been on a date but that doesn’t mean he’s been celibate too. 
“Fuck, babe,” he keens. 
You work him with a spit slick grip, while catching your breath. “Take your shirt off.”
Saliva drips down your chin, fucking him with your mouth in slow measures. If Mingyu could see how fucked out you know you look then he’d be cross eyed. He silently pleas for more, hips curling into the torture you rain down onto his length. Your throat opens as you swallow his cock down, nose to his stomach. 
Mingyu tries. He really, truly tries not to blow his load in the first five seconds of having your mouth on him, but your lips tighten when he’s half way out and he flounders like he’s never had a blowjob before. Cum washes over your tongue, and you take it all, swallow it cleanly. It floods your mouth, excess pushing out the corners of your lips for you to collect later.
You don't get to enjoy the pleasure of a job well done for long. Mingyu hauls you up into his chest, sucking the traces of his spend from your teeth, fingers back back between your legs more aggressive than before.
“Just like that,” he instructs, his other hand dragging you over his crotch like you're riding his cock and not his thigh. You wish you were. 
But there isn’t a condom nearby. You’re desperate, not stupid. Maybe it’s for the best that you don’t fuck your ex-boyfriend turned colleague in the back of your car. So you settle for thinking about how his cock was made to split you perfectly, imagine Mingyu fucking you hard and fast while his fingers supply a decent alternative. 
“Gonna c-come.”
“Good,” he croaks. “Want you to.”
Two fingers become three, the heel of his hand leveraged against your clit for a perfect grind. You claw at his chest, pink lines to be found in the morning.
Fantasies and memories swirl together behind your eyes. Mingyu telling you to take his cock, praising you for it, giving it to you as hard as you can take and then some more.
“Mingyu.” Your back arches painfully as a thousand stars explode in your eyes. 
Brain dulled by the first truly satisfying climax you’ve had in months, you nuzzle down into Mingyu’s neck and fall asleep. 
The morning comes slowly then all at once. You’re warm, sweaty around your hairline. Your face angles out of the sunlight but it’s no use. You open your eyes just a hair. You’re nose first against the upholstery of the backseat, an old sweater serving as a blanket, Mingyu nowhere to be seen. 
Memories of last night assault you.
Fuck.
No wonder he left. He’s not good at letting people down easily. Even if it didn’t mean anything he’d hate to be the one to say it. 
Checking your reflection in the visor mirror, you look exactly like someone who hooked up in the backseat of a car and fell asleep right after. You fix your hair, tug the collar of your shirt high enough to conceal one of several hickies Mingyu littered across your chest. Most are lower, where no one will see, which is somehow better and worse for the sense of dread coil in your stomach. You shudder to think what he looked like this morning.
Just as you're about to go looking for him, a tow truck pulls up. 
“Need a tow?” the driver calls. Sitting beside him in the cab is Mingyu, significantly more put together than you thought he’d be.
“Ugh, yeah.”
Stuart wiggles out of the car, barely coming to your chin in terms of height and maybe old enough to be your grandfather’s grandfather but he carries himself with the energy of someone much younger. A toothpick sticks out the corner of his mouth like he’s some Western movie star.
“Where did you find this guy?” you ask Mingyu.
“The diner in town. Here,” Mingyu says, handing you a styrofoam coffee cup. “He says he can take us all the way back to the city.”
“How much will that cost?”
“Free ninety nine for my new friends!” Stuart interrupts. “This fella gave the misses the tiramisu recipe we read about in the paper from his shop. Can’t put a value on secrets.”
You probably could have given how tight lipped Mingyu is about his recipe book, protecting it with his life. It’s the only thing he has ever been able to successfully hide from you. 
“Thank you, Stuart.”
“My pleasure,” he nods, before getting back into the truck and working to load your car.
Mingyu rocks from one foot to the other while watching from the sidelines. “About last night…”
“It was a mistake. We shouldn’t have done it.” You beat him to the punch.
“Mistake?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”
You don’t wait for his response as you brush past him, thankful Stuart’s truck has enough room for you to hide in the backseat while Mingyu takes shotgun.
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Day one of the Hong-Ko wedding weekend extravaganza starts with a bang.
Literally.
Seungkwan beats down your door long before the sun is up. Guests won’t arrive until at least dinner time but that means you only have a few hours to get to the venue, set up basecamp, double and triple check everything, and acclimate to Mingyu’s presence enough to not become a sweaty, blushing mess every time he comes within eyesight. 
“I still can’t believe you two didn’t make out,” Seungkwan says.
He hammered for details from the moment he arrived at your apartment until parking the car outside the estate. You managed to keep the details under lock and key. Mostly because you didn’t want to hear Seungkwan’s conspiracy theories, but partially because if you say it happened then you can’t ignore it anymore. But your rigid silence didn’t deter him. Now that the day is done and there are no guests to eavesdrop, Seungkwan takes the mantle back up.
“Well, believe it,” you respond, only a step behind. 
You still aren’t familiar with this part of the house. The pale walls are covered in old paintings, each door decorated with a different flower to denote the suite’s theme. You were in the Lily room, while Seungkwan was further down the hall in the Tulip suite. 
And right next to you happened to be the Rose room where Mingyu would be staying.
He made a brief appearance this morning at the check in meeting with all the vendors in staff in the ballroom. You only noticed because stood out a head taller than everyone else, perfect height to show off the Dodgers hat he tore off when you made eye contact. Then he was lost to the chaos of the day.
You consider it a blessing that Jihoon went toe-to-toe with the staff about where he could and couldn’t put his arrangements while you played referee. It kept you far away where you couldn’t do anything stupid.
“See you in the morning,” you yawn, leaving Seungkwan in the hallway.
Every muscle in your body aches from spending all day on your feet, lifting chairs and moving decor. Who needed a gym when your job was so physical? 
You need a shower to wash away the grit and sweat of the day – the noise of water drowning the outside world into silence, only the floral soap and sting of hot water preventing you from drifting away into nothing. 
On the bathroom counter is an array of goodies. Sheet masks, bubble bath, bath salts and oils. If you had the energy, you’d take a long soak in the clawfoot tub, maybe call the kitchen for some tea. But tomorrow will be another long day and you should get to bed.
Thankfully the shower has great water pressure. You crank it all the way up, enough to boil alive, scrubbing until your skin hurts. 
After you’re sufficiently raw, you let the water run over you. In the haze of steam, your mind wanders. To do lists, itineraries, details for other weddings. You try to block them out and focus on nothing but that leaves you with the one person who you really don’t want to think about.
Touching Mingyu hadn’t worked, ignoring him hadn’t worked. There weren’t many options left besides assuming a new identity and running away to another city. Even if you did, you know it won’t help.
How right it felt to have him beneath you, moaning into his skin from even the lightest touch. More recent memories you’re desperate to forget but the universe clearly refuses to give up its entertainment just yet. If you can’t beat them, you might as well join them.
You imagine his mouth, Mingyu on his knees before you, lips teasing over your stomach. The way he’d watch you through his lashes, waiting for you to beg him to touch you.
Just as your hand skates down your front, a familiar moan echoes through the wall.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
You freeze.
This cannot be happening.
“Y/N,” Mingyu whimpers.
For a moment you think Mingyu knows you can hear him, every muscle in your body zipping tight. But that isn’t possible. You didn’t even know he was in the shower until just now and the likelihood he could hear you was slim. 
His broken voice rounding over the syllables of your name replays over and over and over.
You know what Mingyu is doing, can picture him down to the last detail. Another curse. Lip snagged between his teeth, stomach caved in, cock leaking through the tight grip of his fist. You’ve watched him do it enough times to know exactly what makes him sigh and moan and grunt. Made him come the same way only a few days ago. You remember it all. How he’d try to keep his eyes open to watch your reactions and fail, how his chest and throat tinged pink, how his thighs flexed and—
“Fuck,” Mingyu’s disembodied voice shudders.
And how he sounds when he’s coming.
You flee the shower, hair soaked, scrambling for the world’s smallest towel courtesy of housekeeping. This cannot be happening. All you wanted was one night of peace but even that was too much to ask for.
It’s one thing to think about Mingyu. It’s another ordeal to rub one out while he seemingly does the exact same thing only a wall away, unaware he has an audience. At least he is free from the weight of knowing you use him as spank bank material. You have to live with the fact that he fucks himself with your name on his lips.
The bedroom is safe from Mingyu but your brain isn’t. You try thinking of something else – anything else – but nothing can break through the loop of his sighs. Trying to escape him between the sheets proves to be worse. Every time you turn, you half expect to see him on the other side of the mattress. Each time the windows rattle from the wind it reminds you of the shaky noise of his moans. The tug of the sheets across your body reminds you of his hands, caressing your stomach, your thighs, your chest.
You don’t sleep a wink.
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Your feet hurt, your head hurt. A sixteen hour day filled with a crying bride and demanding family drained your entire life force. All you wanted was to get home, lay down, and pass out.
When you made it through the door, Mingyu was sitting at the kitchen table. Another thing in your way.
“How was it?” There was an edge to his tone. It’s not a question, it’s an integration. Sometime after the fifth hour you turned his contact on Do Not Disturb and Mingyu knew it.
“I don’t want to do this right now. I’m tired,” you say.
“You never want to do anything. You put more energy into other people’s relationships than ours.”
“I’m sorry I have a fucking job!”
“It’s not about that!” he argued.
You collapsed into one of the dining chairs, the last flame of fight snuffed out. This was it. The inevitable end that you attempted to put off for months. You thought it was a rough patch, an adjustment period from doing weddings full time. But there were more bad days with Mingyu than good ones. You cried for no reason, avoided him in your shared apartment. It was all so exhausting.
“I don’t want to dread coming home. I don’t want to fight with you all the time. I’m just…tired,” you choked, tears pricking your eyes already. “I—I think we should take a break.”
“What?” Mingyu said.
Mingyu stared at you, unmoving. Once upon a time, you thought he was it. The one. Your person who would be with you through everything. Someone you’d figure everything out with. When you started planning weddings full time, you watched couples exchange vows over and over and over, all with the same cliches. Two puzzle pieces, halves of a whole circle, soulmates. No matter how many times you heard the metaphors, you always pictured Mingyu and the day you would be standing at the end of the aisle saying the same thing.
Until you didn’t.
“We should break up.”
“Fine,” he said.
When he left that night, you stayed behind to pick up the pieces of your heart.
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The entire day leading up to the rehearsal dinner goes smoothly. Joshua and his groomsmen hung out on the estate’s golf course while the bridesmaid’s took over the spa, and you avoided the kitchen at all costs. Luckily, one of Sarah’s aunts has a conniption over the size of her suite and you spend the entire day rearranging room assignments, careful to follow Josh and Sarah’s rules. Aunt Beatrice cannot be within fifty feet of uncle Simon, Simon and Grandma Tildy both snore loud enough that whoever is in rooms adjacent need earplugs but Sarah’s mom won’t wear them so her parents need to be far away. It’s a giant puzzle. One you thrive on untangling, mind lost to figuring out the limited combinations that will prevent all out war. 
At 4:30 the rehearsal ceremony ends and you’re corralling the entire wedding party and dozens of relatives into the formal dining room where Dokyeom waits to serve them. Seungkwan helps usher everyone to their assigned tables. Far easier than reshuffling rooms since half of them refuse to go near tables with their known nemesis present. 
Dinner continues without a hitch, champagne flowing through each course. Dessert comes and with it Mingyu. The staff served the panna cottas under his watch, meticulously checking each tray before it’s served. Your gaze follows him like a magnet. It makes you smile, pride blooming in your chest. 
What happened with Mingyu was a bruise that might always remain tender, but you want him to be happy. Even if you weren’t the person to do that anymore. 
As the desserts go out, Seungcheol, Joshua’s best man, rises to give a speech. You find an empty table in the back to watch.
“I met Josh when we were six years old and he decided to pour milk in my shoes. Lucky for me, I met Sarah under far better circumstances. She side swiped my car.”
Everyone laughs. 
“It was an accident!” Sarah argues. 
“Can you believe this guy?” Jeonghan whispers, taking the seat next to you.
You don’t know Seungcheol well but the number of photos of him and Josh from childhood till last week speaks to their friendship, they flash by on the giant projection screen. Apparently, Seungcheol introduced them.
“Some people actually speak from the heart and not just pretend to for a paycheck.”
Jeonghan clutches his chest. “I’m offended.”
“Good, that’s why I said it,” you snort.
You’ve worked with Jeonghan enough to know he’s always working an angle. He probably wants to know which bridesmaids are single and not insane, or he’s looking for something to keep himself entertained.
“So you and the baker…”
There it is. 
“I will kill you where you stand.”
The threat rolls right off him. “First, I’m sitting. Second, who will write about your weddings?”
“Michael,” you shrug.
Jeonghan’s eyes roll. “Michael can barely string two sentences together.”
“Okay, but he isn’t as annoying.”
Snagging a champagne flute from a passing waiter, you slouch back in the seat. If you’re going to talk about Mingyu with Jeonghan, then you need something much stronger.
“Listen, far be it for me to give you relationship advice,” Jeonghan says with shocking sincerity. “But if I didn’t know you were attempting to be a nun then I think you two would make a good couple. He seems like a nice guy.”
“Been there, done that,” you mumble.
Jeonghan opens his mouth to ask for more details but something over your shoulder stops whatever he was going to say.
“What?”
“Looks like someone else is currently trying to do that.” 
You follow Jeonghan’s stare to the corner of the room where Mingyu is held captive by a tipsy bridesmaid. Her hand on his chest, bright red manicure contrasting against his pristine white chef’s jacket. Like blood on fresh snow. The same red tinges the corners of your vision.
The corners of his mouth tilt upwards. “Jealous?” 
“No,” you say stubbornly.
Mingyu can do whatever he wants, with whomever he wants. It’s not your business. What is your business is the fact he’s supposed to be working right now, not chatting up a tall blonde in the corner of the room. You know every bridesmaid, at least what Sarah deemed important enough to share. Margaret lives in New York City, does pilates six times a week, and looks like she is perpetually put together in a way that says she is not trying at all. The last part you figured out yourself when she arrived yesterday, fresh off a sixteen hour flight from Bali without a hint of jet lag. 
Seungcheol wraps up his speech, applause echoing in the room as the maid of honor takes his place. You stay rooted in place, watching Mingyu flirt and chuckle at whatever Margaret is saying. 
The final straw is she squeezes her nails into his arm like he’s a piece of meat.
Downing the last bit of bubbly, you stand. “I’ll be right back.”
“Go get ‘em tiger.”
You cuff Jeonghan on the back of the head before heading to battle.
He’s flirting on the job. That’s what you tell yourself this is about. Mingyu tarnishing your reputation by association because he can’t keep it in his pants, despite the fact that you are about as bad as he is. Except the closer you get, the more obvious he is doing the complete opposite of that.
“Do you work out?” Margaret asks, reaching up on her tiptoes to speak into his ear.
“Not really,” he responds, voice tight. When his eyes meet yours over Margaret’s shoulder, they flash with something you assume is HELP ME.
“Sorry to interrupt,” you smile politely, teeth glinting like knives as they both turn towards you. “But I need Mingyu’s help.”
He untangles from Margaret’s clutches, strategically using you as a shield. “What’s wrong?”
“Um… kitchen emergency,” you say, side-eying Margaret pointedly.
Mingyu blinks in confusion. “Emergency?”
Margaret’s nose wrinkles in disgust. “What kitchen emergency?”
“Confidential. Sorry. Have you tried the champagne? It's great,” you say as you wrap your arm around Mingyu’s and stride towards the hallway. The opposite direction of the kitchen. Oh well.
“What happened in the kitchen?” Mingyu says once outside. “Did Dokyeom fuck with my cakes? I told him not to touch—”
“Everything is fine,” you explain. “I just thought you could use an out.”
Mingyu laxes before shuddering. “I thought she was going to eat me.”
“Margaret is harmless. Sarah told me her last divorce ended on good terms.”
“Well, in that case.” He pretends to turn back, jerking back where your arms are linked. 
“Please do not make me deal with a pissed bridesmaid because you turned her down.”
“How did you know I was gonna turn her down?” he argues.
“Because you look like a constipated baby when you don’t know what to say.”
“I do not!”
Stifling a grin, you level him with an expectant look. “You looked like you wanted to die.”
The corner of his mouth twitches as well. “Well, you aren’t wrong. She was asking if I modeled.”
“Oh, god. Don’t let that go to your head.”
“Why not? Don’t you think I’d be a good model?”
His face morphs into the best Zoolander impression he can manage which isn’t saying much. You’re still linked at the elbows, allowing Mingyu to pull you closer when you try to hide your laugh from his ridiculous expression. Feels nice, normal even, having him by your side, laughing over something stupid. You can almost forget last night. Almost.
You look at the floor, continuing to walk further away from the party you’re still working. “Finance guy turned baker turned model.”
“I am a man of multitudes.”
Mingyu stops, face inches from yours. You falter under his gaze, smile dissolving as you stare up at him. His eyes fall to your mouth, close enough you can count each of his eyelashes. Then it rushes you all at once, stunned by the realization that you want him to kiss you and you want it to mean something. Your chin tilts up, Mingyu already halfway there and…
Seungkwan’s voice cracks in your ear. “We’ve got a drunk bridesmaid causing a scene.”
You inhale shakingly, untangling your arm from Mingyu’s and stepping back. You wince before lifting the mic to your lips. “Be there in a second.”
“There is throw up in a potted plant,” Seungkwan replies. “One of Jihoon’s potted plants.”
Cringing again, you take a step back. “Well, there is now a real emergency so I better…”
“Yeah, I…Yeah.” 
Turning on your heel, you walk back towards the party, barely stopping yourself from looking back at where Mingyu waits.
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You spend the entire night tossing and turning, brain firing at rapid speed. You never sleep well during an event.  Skin tight and itchy, you pace back and forth. Opening the windows helps a little, the light chill of wind breaking the restless feeling. 
Except it’s not about the wedding. By all accounts, for the time you were granted, everything has gone shockingly well so far. Everything is sorted and the only things that can go wrong at this point are the numerous possibilities that would require years to list out. You’re seasoned enough to know that.
It’s Mingyu.
And the way he looked at you after you saved him from Margaret. The way he looks at you in general, when he thinks you’re not looking. When he walks into a room and you’re the first person he looks for. His face when you said the night in the car was a mistake.
You’ve been so stuck in not wanting to look bad in front of Sarah and Joshua, you haven’t given your feelings any real thought. Clearly, not thinking about him wasn’t working so perhaps you needed to actually untangle your problems the way you did with a seating chart. 
On one hand, Mingyu seems like he isn’t the same man you left years ago. He’s happier, more himself than he was in those months culminating in your break up. Different. Not in a way that scares you, the Mingyu you know is still there, in the way he jokes and tries to fix things before they become a problem. Whatever is different about him excites you.
On the other, you don’t know what he’s thinking. If any of the kisses or stolen moments meant anything to him. If he was working through the same feelings or if he was just a guy looking for a good time with someone he knew intimately. He could still be the same man who accused you of putting him on the backburner for your career.
You wouldn’t know what he wanted until you ask.
One of you had to be brave enough to address whatever was happening, and after multiple rejects you were the one who had to do it. It would suck and you would probably cry but after this weekend, you promise yourself to talk it out with him. If that firmly shut the door closed on your relationship then so be it but at least there would be an answer. At least, you wouldn’t spend every night spiraling.
The uneasy nerves from before are quieter this time. Having a plan, even when it’s as simple as asking Mingyu where his head is at, calms you. 
The sun barely peeks over the horizon when you head to the bathroom to get ready. Mingyu has never once been an early bird in the time you’ve known him and he didn’t have to be anywhere to be until tonight for the cake cutting at the reception. You still listen for any signs of him on the opposite side of the wall but nothing, not even a question shuffle, comes through. 
Taking your time, you wash your face, the cold water keeping you alert enough until you can snag a coffee from the kitchen. There isn’t a point in putting too much effort into your hair and make up, the day was forecasted to be warm and with all the running around you needed to do you’d sweat out whatever effort you put in.
When done, you pull out the black dress laid out for today. The usual slacks and blouse didn’t seem formal enough for a day like today. Floor length, with just enough back exposed to still be appropriate, it is the most expensive thing you own. You’d probably be wearing it to the grave to justify the cost. But you can’t put a price on looking the part of ‘wedding planner everyone wants to work with.’
After twenty minutes of twisting and forcing flexibility you do not have, the dress is zipped, your heels are on, and you head back into the bathroom for final touches. 
While you fought with a pile of chiffon from hell, Mingyu woke up.
“No, I can’t just—” Mingyu’s voice floats through the wall. 
You look fine in the mirror. There's no reason to linger any longer. You’re about to leave, determined not to eavesdrop, when his voice makes you stop.
“I can’t ask her to get back together, Mom, that’s not fair.”
It’s like someone cut the tether to your body, and now you're floating.
Get back together…
The words don’t hit you like that should. At least, not at first. It’s like being underwater, Mingyu tossing you into the deep end.
“I know she doesn’t want to do this with me,” he continues. “No, she didn’t say that but I can’t imagine working with your ex-boyfriend on the biggest wedding of your life is very fun. She’s worked hard for this, I’m not gonna ruin it for her by making it about me.”
Your ass meets the tile floor, his words replaying over and over again. When you snap back, you can’t hear anything but the steady rush of your pulse, lungs burning like you ran a marathon. For a second you think everything Mingyu said is a hallucination co-sponsored by stress and sleep deprivation. But you know that isn’t the truth which means you have half an answer on what he’s feeling. It makes bringing it up later seem much easier to approach than jumping feet first. 
The vibration of your phone snaps you back to now.
Seungkwan: ellery says no coffee for vendors
Later, you can browbeat Mingyu into telling you everything. Right now you have work to do. First, stop a mutiny of florists, musicians, and kitchen staff. 
You type out a response while rushing out the door. 
Y/N: tell him i will personally reimburse him for whatever we drink
Seungkwan: i told him to eat my ass
Y/N: i pay you to make my life easier…
Seungkwan: you do not pay me enough for that, settle for my dazzling humor and friendship
Glancing up from your phone, you see a frozen Mingyu hovering half way out his own door. White coat in hand, ready to head down to the kitchen.
And he’s staring at you like you might as well be naked.
“Hi,” you manage, voice more breath than sound.
Good morning, I heard you tell your mom, who still texts me every year on my birthday by the way, that you want to get back together. Coffee?
“You look nice,” he offers, eyes raking over you from head to toe.
Your heart thuds with the urge to confess everything, to hide away somewhere on the grounds for the rest of the day with him and work it all out. Now. But this is the biggest wedding of your life and you have worked hard for this. Whatever you need to have out with Mingyu, he will be waiting on the other side of today.
“Thanks. I—um— I have to go.”
You barely make it ten feet down the hall before Mingyu says your name.
“Wait!” he calls.
You turn to face him. “Mingyu, I really need to go.”
He looks like he didn’t plan further ahead than asking you to give him a second glance, unsure of himself now that he got it. “I just wanted to say…good luck.”
“Thanks. You too.”
Within ten minutes of descending the stairs, no less than four issues require your attention. The guest book is nowhere to be found, the band left cigarette butts outside in the garden last night sending Ellery into a fit and prompted him to withhold coffee, the flower girls (Sarah’s twin nieces) refuse to share their basket, and Jihoon is on the verge of a mental break down over bouquets.
Divide and conquer. While Seungkwan tracked down the book, you focus on negotiating with Satan himself.
In the kitchen, Mr. Ellery guards the coffee pots like a watchdog, snarling at anyone who gets too close. You approach him without an ounce of fear. Honestly, you’ve had enough of his weird eyebrows.
“Mr. Ellery,” you greet. “I heard we had a bit of a situation.”
“‘A bit of a situation,’” he gasps. “I will not have my family home littered with garbage!”
“And I agree. That is why my assistant is already outside cleaning up the mess and I’m going to speak to the people responsible once we’re done.” You plaster the same slightly unhinged smile on your face from last night. “However, if my staff isn’t treated well then perhaps next time I have a premium event, I’ll take it elsewhere. Just to avoid this same conflict from happening.”
No one got fair in this business by letting people walk all over them. 
Don’t fuck with me, old man.
Brown eyes went wide. “Well, let’s not be hasty—”
“Coffee. Now.”
Not caring to respond, his arms cross tightly over his chest with a ‘humph’ before stepping away, defeated. One of the catering staff jumps in immediately to start the machine. 
One down, fifty million to go.
Next is the band.
They huddle around in the corner of the ballroom. Laughing and joking with one another despite the early hour. You know exactly one of them, Jun, who is a head taller than the other two. He had worked a few events with you before and you know he isn’t the one leaving a mess outside. He probably didn’t know it happened.  
You stand behind the shortest one, clipboard clinched in your grip, waiting for their attention. Jun and the bassist, Minghao, stop talking to stare at you while the one in front of you continues. 
“And so I told her, I have to—”
“Excuse me,” you snap.
The brunette whips around, a high pitched squeal leaving his throat. 
“You.”
“Me?” he replies.
“Are you the one who can’t clean up after himself?”
His eyes go wide, the hands in his pockets now in front of him like you might take the clipboard and beat him to death with it. “I didn’t—”
“Listen to me very carefully,” you went on, taking a step closer. “You’re going to go outside and pick up every single filter, every single ash and leave it like you found it. Actually, better than you found it. And you do it again and I will light you on fire. Got it?”
“Chan’s in trouble,” Jun singsongs.
“Yes, ma’am,” Chan mumbles to his shoes.
“Give me your cigarettes and a light,” you demand, hand out like a teacher confiscating a note. Chan shoves the entire pack into your hand, his own shaking. “Now, if you all could go set up, I would appreciate it.”
The four of them all but sprint out of your vicinity. They’re still in earshot when you hear Chan scream again, probably because Jun has him by the ear like a parent. You can’t relish in the humor of it for long.
Seungkwan finds you at the entrance of the ballroom, the book and a second basket in hand.
“Where did this end up?” you ask.
He huffs without any amusement. “Grannie Donna apparently has sticky fingers.”
You take his hoard, swapping the cardboard box in your hand for the basket.
“Take Jihoon outside, give him these and the biggest coffee you can find. Whatever you do, don’t let him leave.”
“Yes, boss,” Seungkwan salutes and beelines it down the hall.
“And only let him have those out in the parking lot,” you call after him. “Not the gardens.”
“Got it.”
You’re alone in the hallway. Not really, because venue staff are rushing about to set up breakfast, clean before guests come down from their rooms. But even with the morning mishaps, the day is already ahead of schedule. At three the ceremony will start, pictures, dinner, and then Mingyu. 
Mingyu with the cake, you remind yourself.
Checking your watch, you head to the foyer. The makeup artist should be arriving any minute and that meant—
“Holly, thank god.”
She beams when you pull her into a hug, her kit digging painfully into your side. “Good to see you too. Now, where is the bride to be?”
“Upstairs. I’ll show you.”
“So Soonyoung said Mingyu is here too,” Holly says after reaching the second floor. 
“Small world,” you shrug.
“You are a horrible liar.”
“Am not!”
“Yes, you are,” she says. “So how many times have you kissed him?”
“Twice,” you say.
“Damn it.”
“What?”
“I owe Soonyoung twenty bucks.”
“You’re betting on my love life?”
Holly laughs. “I am married. I need some form of entertainment.”
There’s no use in lying. Of all the people to judge you, Holly is the last person to join the line. Besides, she’s the only one that knows Mingyu almost as well as she knows you.
“I may have overheard him talking about wanting to get back together,” you share. 
Holly doesn’t miss a step as she replies, “Yeah, he does that a lot.”
“What?”
“Okay, maybe not a lot but I know he’s asked Soonyoung more than once if it was a good idea to call you and I also know six weeks ago he showed up at our house like he’d seen a ghost.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You stop on the landing, facing her. Holly stops too, unphased by your petulance. 
“If you did that, would you want Soonyoung to tell him?”
“You’re telling me now.”
“Yeah well, you planned my wedding for free, I owe you.”
“Mingyu made your wedding cake.”
“He also threw up in my pool and I didn’t kill him so he’s at net zero.”
“What if…What if we don’t work?”
Holly taps her chin, head tilting to the side. “Then it doesn’t work.”
“Thank you wise one, what would I ever do without you.”
“Things change. People change. Mingyu…he’s worked really hard to be in a better place than when you two broke up. I think if you don’t at least talk to him about it then you’ll regret it.”
“Okay,” you nod. “I’ll talk to him.”
“Full transparency, I take credit for getting you two together. I knew he’d be obsessed with you the moment he laid eyes on you and I was right. So when you two do work out, I will be first in line to make a speech.”
Your eyes roll. “Whatever you say. Now, go. Sarah is waiting.”
Six hours later, the ceremony goes off without a hitch.
It’s the wedding of fairy tales. The florals Jihoon nearly ripped his hair out over transform the already stunning garden into a botanical wonder. Each of the bridesmaids look straight off the cover of a magazine in their gowns, the same for the tailored tuxedos the groomsmen don. After the flower girls scatter white rose petals all over like confetti, Sarah floats down the aisle in her wedding dress to a teary eyed Joshua, they recite their vows with just enough vulnerability, and when the officiate cues them, Joshua wraps Sarah in his arms, dips her low to the ground, and seals their love with a kiss.
Your favorite part of weddings isn’t the first look or watching the bride walk to her soon to be husband. It is always the moment after the kiss. When the couple is so clearly lost in their own world, staring at each other as if all the cheering from the audience is silenced in their own little bubble. And then comes the snap back to reality. No matter if they were bold or timid, it is the same every time. A moment just for them you’re lucky enough to witness.
After that is chaos.
You assist Wonwoo with corralling the bridal party for pictures. If the ceremony is a highlight reel, then everything leading up to the reception is a compilation of top ten worst things to ever plague mankind. A hungry bridal party you feed between shots, Sarah’s mom insisting on her good angles which contradict with Sarah’s good angles, and the sun hot in the sky rising beads of sweat along your eyebrow.
“I think that’s good for now,” Wonwoo announces. “I’ll take more inside.”
Dinner passes with no casualties. You even manage to go to the bathroom and eat a plate for yourself without the building catching on fire. With everyone glued to their chair for the meal, it’s hard for anything to go wrong. Then it’s time for the cake.
And with it, Mingyu.
You watch him roll the massive cake out from the kitchen, three feet tall and covered in white frosting. Exactly what Sarah and Joshua wanted down to the fresh cherries resting on the pipped peaks.
To be completely and truly honest, it’s the tackiest wedding cake you’ve ever seen.
Sarah and Joshua cut the cake, Wonwoo snapping pictures from every angle of the monstrosity. You pray the Franken-cake is left out when the photos come out in whatever bridal magazine next month. 
“Not half bad,” you tell Mingyu, leaning on the wall next to him.
“I’ll be sure to put that review on my website,” he snorts. “Dessert First Bakery, we’re not half bad.” 
Sarah swipes a frosting covered finger against Joshua’s chin. 
“It’s so ugly,” Mingyu whispers, horrified.
“It was…unique.”
He pins you with a look. “I used fifteen pounds of buttercream. It’s fucking ugly.”
“You said it, not me,” you shrug.
For a few moments, you simply look at each other. You don’t have the urge to rush away and find some distraction, not like before. The only thing you feel is an ache in your stomach, one you thought died years ago that dark night in that cramped apartment. There aren’t butterflies but full sized birds trying to take flight. 
“Well,” Mingyu’s jaw flexes. “I’ll leave you to it.”
You watch him go, escaping out into the hall, leaving you behind. That moment with him still lingers, the entire party dull on your senses because all your brain focuses on is where he disappeared, the urge to follow him like a moth to flame.
Lifting the mic of your head set, you speak. “Seungkwan, can you cover for me?”
“On it,” he responds instantly. “Go get your man.”
You don’t bother chastising him. There are more important things to do. Like finding Mingyu before he slips away.
The first step towards the exit is hard. The ones after are incredibly easy.
He’s halfway down the hall, back in the direction of the kitchens, when you catch him. “Mingyu, wait.”
Mingyu’s face gives nothing away.
“Can we talk?”
He nods.
“Not here.”
“Then where?”
You take one look at Mingyu before turning on your strutting past him towards the stairs. “Come on.”
His footsteps click behind you the entire way back to your suite. Luckily, everyone else is down at the reception or tucked away in their rooms for an early night. Neither of you speak the entire way, not stopping until the door of your suite latches with a barely audible click. 
As close as you feel, the chasm between you and Mingyu is much wider now that you're at the edge and attempting to cross.
“I’m guessing this isn’t about the invoice,” Mingyu jokes, hands in his pockets.
Your head shakes. Your hands are shaking too. The room feels so much smaller with him taking up space.
“Then what is it?”
You exhale. “You told your mom you couldn’t ask me to get back together. Why?”
There goes being subtle about it.
“How do you know that?” he asks, shocked.
“I’m psychic,” you deadpan. “I can hear you through the bathroom wall, genius.”
“You were spying on me?”
“You were the one jerking off while thinking about me so I’d say we’re even.”
His neck flares red, eyes wide in horror. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“Mingyu, I don’t care about that,” you huff. “Why did you tell your mom we couldn’t get back together?”
“I didn’t think it was an option.”
“I’m not saying it’s an option, I just…”
“Then what are you saying? What do you want from me, Y/N?”
“I—”
Mingyu steps closer. “You wanted to break up. I agreed. You wanted space, I gave it to you. You wanted me to do this wedding, I did it. I didn’t sleep for three days making sure everything was exactly how you wanted it. After the car, I thought you said it was a mistake so I dropped it. I’ve always tried to give you what you want. So tell me what you want and I’ll do it,” he says, voice a little desperate. 
“I was planning to talk to you about this after this weekend was over…” you shudder, chest tight. 
“Talk to me about what?” Mingyu watches you with guarded hope, fingers flexing at his sides like he wants to reach out and hold you but he doesn’t. “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”
“I want you.”
The words hang in the air, spelled out in the space between you and him, heavy like smoke. 
“Be more specific.”
“I miss you and I want you back, even if we hate each other and don’t work and you hope I get hit by a bus—”
Mingyu pulls you into his chest, silencing your ramble. “I have never hated you.”
You melt into his warmth, the smell of his cologne and sugar and vanilla conjuring tears. It feels like home. He feels like home.
“Every time I look at you I feel like…” you trail off. You don’t know how to describe it. Like a million balloons popping at once, like you’re in the eye of a tornado. Something about a half made whole and whatever other cliches people throw around about the person they love.
“I know,” Mingyu whispers into your hair. The thud of his heart beats into your ear. “I feel that way too..”
As good as it feels to have him unfiltered once again, you’re still terrified. “But we didn’t work, Gyu. What’s changed between now and then? I work more. You work more. Wasn’t that what we always fought about? Not having enough time?”
“That’s not what I was upset about.”
“Then what was it?”
Untangling himself from your hold, Mingyu sits on the bed, chin tipped down, face hidden in his hands. You want to pretend like you never asked, that you two are back together and everything is sunshine and rainbows because you have him once again. But you can't put a bandaid on an infected wound and hope it’ll heal on its own. As painful as it is, the infection of your past needed to be cleaned.
“I started seeing a therapist,” he says after a long moment.
“You did?”
“I felt like…” his voice clips like he’s trying not to cry. “I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you.”
“Mingyu…”
“I know. And that made me feel even worse. I started talking to them a few months after we ended and I realized I wasn’t upset you worked all the time. I was ashamed because you did exactly what you dreamed of doing and I was too scared and I took it out on you. I was always proud of you. I still am. When I see your weddings in the paper and everything. You were so much braver than I was and I felt ashamed of it. And when you left I didn’t even blame you for it. And I’m sorry for everything I said, and that I didn’t tell you and I let you think you weren’t important to me.”
You wait in case he wants to share anything more but Mingyu doesn’t speak. 
“Mingyu,” you whisper, stepping into the space between his legs. He hides his face in the fabric covering your stomach. “Mingyu, Mingyu, Mingyu.”
Each repetition of his name is punctuated with against his hair. He melts beneath them, tension evaporating from his body as he pulls you closer.
“I forgive you.”
You do. It surprises even yourself that you can forgive him so easily but Mingyu has been trying. Not with the intent to get you back but because he knew he was wrong and wanted to be better. 
Those seem to be the magic words he needs. Mingyu collapses back onto the mattress, pulling you with him. You both lay there, glowing with content. He traces circles on the back of your neck, other hand curled over your back like you might leave. You won’t. Not this time. Not again.
“If I tell you a secret, promise not to make fun of me?”
“Hmmmm.” You pretend to consider it while planting kiss after kiss over jaw, down his neck, soaking in the steady rhythm of his pulse against your lips. “Depends.”
“What if it’s romantic?”
“I guess.”
“I named the bakery after you.”
“What?”
“You told me to save the money I’d put on a ring to open it one day. It felt like the least I could do.” Mingyu hides in your hair, squeezing you so tight your bones hurt. “You always said dessert should be served first at dinner.”
Whatever witty comment blooms on your tongue wilts instantly. So you bite him instead.
“Ow! What the fuck?”
“Oh my god, I love you, you cheesy motherfucker.”
Mingyu pulls your palm to his lips, looking straight through. “I love you.”
Your hand curls around his cheek before you kiss him. Just once. A soft pass of your mouth over his, dual sighs of relief mingling together.
“We’re getting back together, right? Because I really can’t handle—”
“Yes, we’re getting back together.”
“Thank god.” Mignyu sags with relief. 
“You know,” you say, arms weaving over his shoulders. “I have the night off.”
“Oh really?”
You bite your lip to keep from smiling too big. “Mhm.”
“And what do you plan to do with your free time?”
“I have a few ideas.”
You suck his bottom lip, fingers working at the buttons of his jacket. He only makes it more difficult by rolling on top of you, taking advantage of the moment to snake his tongue along yours. 
Mingyu groans in frustration, refusing to pull his mouth away from yours. “How do you get this dress off?”
You prod his shoulder, standing to present the zipper curved down your spine. “Help me.”
The fabric goes slack. You let it fall, no attempt at modesty. Turning back to face him, Mingyu stops you, plastering his front to your back, cupping your chest as he watches over your shoulder. 
His thumbs graze your nipples, over and over and over again. It’s madness, how turned on you are from this alone. If he gave you something to grind against you’d come. 
“Mingyu,” you grovel. The ‘please’ is implied with the arch of your ass against his hard on.
A puff of air rains across the curve of your neck, his teeth quick to follow. “I told you to tell me what you want.”
“I want you to eat me out.”
He bends you over the desk with a gentle push. Mingyu nudges your legs further apart, fully on display for him. You hear his clothing fall, the thump of a belt buckle hitting the floor. You hope he’s naked.
When you look back to check, he’s zoned in on your ass and palming over his briefs. You arch a little bit more. 
“Are you planning to just stand there or are you going to do something?” you goad.
“Patience.”
His nose traces over your spine and you savor the attention. The waiting is the worst part but you crave a deeper intimacy than a quick tumble. You want to rediscover all of him, and him all of you.
Teeth sting into the curve of your ass, your eyes rolling. 
Your voice thins when you speak. “Is there a reason I’m still wearing heels?”
“Hot,” he grunts into the back of your thigh, fingers etching along the hem of your thong. 
The wet heat of his tongue snakes through what little is covered by the fabric, right where the arousal he stokes out of you collects. There is some pleasure in being teased but tonight isn’t one of the nights for it. You want him. All of him. Now.
Your fingers slither back into his hair, holding firm. “Take them off.” 
Mingyu rolls down your thighs, abandoning them at your knees to bury his face between your legs.
“Oh my god.” He sucks your clit, tongue lashing with no build up, rough hands spreading your ass. 
No one ate your pussy as well as Mingyu does. He’s too devoted to be selfish, willing to spend as much time as it takes for your eyes to roll and muscles to seize. 
Each shudder and moan forces your breast across the desk, nipples catching on the waxed surface. 
“Fingers,” you moan. “Fingers too.”
Your sighs rise, moaning through the addition of his fingers coupled with a rough lap of his tongue that has you arching back to ride his face. His lips suction tight. You let him fuck you in with slow strokes. 
The desk keeps you upright. All you have to do is take it, take what Mingyu gives and let it fester. 
“Oh my god,” you choke when he leans back and spits on your cunt.
Reaching back blindly, you tug him back by the hair. 
You can feel the end just out of reach. A few vulgar flicks and its release in long waves that make you keen his name horsley. 
The surface of the desk is cool against your skin, soothing the burn in your cheek as you catch your breath. Mingyu kisses up your back, wet lips leaving traces of your arousal everywhere. 
He nips your ear. “Good?”
You nod, craning to kiss him. Mingyu turns you around, not breaking contact, and leads you to bed. Your knees fold over the edge and then you’re looking up at him from where he stands between your spread legs.
“My feet hurt,” you pout.
Mingyu stretches your legs up his chest, ankles right at eye level as he undoes the buckle. He’s still teasing. The bulge of his cock pressed, hidden beneath his underwear, heavy against your ass. 
“You’re the worst.”
He smirks but maintains focus on the dainty strap. “Be patient.”
“Mingyu,” you sigh, half begging half objection from the subtle grind of his hips. “Want you.”
“Let me enjoy this.”
“You’re driving me insane.”
“Now you know how I feel seeing you in that dress this morning.”
 Your eyes roll. “It’s not that nice.”
“I was talking about the woman wearing it.”
Free from shoes, your legs spread, pussy on display. Mingyu swallows hard as your fingers move through the mess of spit and arousal. “Well the woman wearing it wants you to fuck her.”
He cocks a brow. It means nothing with the red tint of his ears. “Does she now?”
“Missed having you come inside me,” you tease.
Mingyu shivers. “Yeah?”
“You were the only one.”
“All mine.”
You sit up, mouth at one of the marks from last week, already healed and just a shadow of what it was. Moving slightly, you pin his nipple between your teeth. “Will you give it to me?”
“Whatever you want,” he pants.
His underwear hits the floor, cock perfect in your palm. You lean back, eyes on his, and spit on it. Mingyu’s hips kick, fucking himself through your grips. 
“What do you want?” 
He groans, throat raw. “Wanna come inside you, want you to ride me.”
“Then come here.”
You guide him into the sheets, splayed out like a full meal. He pulls your leg over his lap. You could stay here. Sat on his thighs, stroking his cock until cum paints his chest white. Clean it up with your mouth. And do it all again over and over.
But this isn’t the only chance to drag him through hell for the sake of pleasure so you save it for later. 
Mingyu grips himself, presenting his length like a throne. All it takes is an easy roll of your hips and your flat against him, full beyond belief.
“Fuck, I love you,” he moans into your mouth as you sink down.
You rock forward, grinding to prevent even a moment without the satisfying feeling of your insides molded to his cock. 
His fingers dig into your ass, helping you with gentle thrusts. “Feels so good, fuck.”
“Mingyu,” you hiss.
“Want you to come for me again.”
His eyes glue onto the view down your front: your throat, your breasts bouncing with every grind, the way his cock disappears and comes back soaked. You watch him watch you, drooling for the fucked out look on his face.
You kiss the cord of muscle in his neck.
“Come inside, Gyu. Give it to me,” you whisper, all breath right in his ear. “I wanna feel how hard you come for me.”
He pinches your nipple, the pain shooting straight to your core.  Your back curves and you feel his cock in the back of your throat.
“Don’t stop,” you beg. “Fuck me. Please, fuck me.”
Tugging you off, Mingyu manhandles you down into the sheets.
“No,” you protest, scrambling for him. Any part of him you can reach. 
Those muscles go to use pinning you in place. One hand holds your wrists over your head, thighs splayed across his. Mingyu slaps his cock against your pussy, leaking tip teasing your clit. “Tell me you want it.”
“I want it,” you nod, dumb.
He dips lower, lips rubbing against yours for his next command. “Tell me how much you need me to fuck you.”
“Need it,” you sigh, thighs squeezing around his waist, aching for a chance to slip him inside. “Need you to fuck me.”
In a frenzy, Mingyu ruts into the snug feel of your walls. The angle stretching you out just right, cock battering that place inside that makes your joints lock. He spreads your legs wider with a roll of his hips, finding your clit easily. 
“There, there, there.” 
He rubs you raw to the core, not stopping when you tremble. It’s not fair he can fuck you like second nature, dragging you to the brink of insanity with the tiniest bit of effort.
“C-cumming,” Mingyu shudders, finding your mouth once again. You’ll be sore tomorrow from the way he bares down into you, until you’re flat against him, taking it deeper. 
You shudder when he grinds down into you a few more times, pure greed driving him to stay inside you despite his own sensitivity. 
“Oh my god,” he breathes, carefully pulling out. You’re not empty for long. His fingers stuff your opening, slick cum making it an easy slip. 
He pulls them out, presenting them in the pale light of the room. You snag his wrist and suck them between your lips, preening at his reaction.
“God, that’s hot,” Mingyu mutters.
You give another lewd suck before popping off “C’mon lover boy, I need a shower.”
“I can come?” 
You laugh. “Yeah, you can come.”
Mingyu sneaks back into his room, snagging whatever clothes he needs for the night while you hop into the shower. The steam softens all those sore muscles when you hear a knock.
“Can you hear me?” he asks through the wall.
You knock back. “Yes!”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. Now hurry up, it’s getting cold.”
An hour later, you’re squeaky clean between the bed sheets with Mingyu. He brought one of his old shirts for you to wear from college. You regret buying him so much Dodgers paraphernalia as a gag gift for Christmas all those years ago. But you take the shirt because it makes him happy. Almost happier than if you chose to sleep naked.
Cuddling up to him, you let your mind wander off, sleeping rolling over you. Your eyes open for one last look only to find him already looking at you, face soft, eyes committing your face to memory.
“Stop staring at me. It’s creepy.”
“I’m not creepy,” he pouts.
“You’re not but watching me try to sleep is.”
“I was going for romantic.”
“How about going to sleep. We have to be up early.”
“Goodnight kiss?” he asks, halfway to your mouth already.
One turns two and two into many more.
You’re both still awake when Mingyu’s alarm goes off hours later.
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2 Years Later…
Whisking Up a Perfect Match: The City’s Most Notorious Wedding Planner and Beloved Baker Say 'I Dough’
BY JEONGHAN YOON
They say love is a lot like baking; it takes patience, precision, and a little bit of magic…
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