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kudzucataclysm · 4 months ago

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cyrus complains abt wwz (2013) scene by scene for an unknown amount of words. finally

everyone has to ignore this btw. jsyk

* im dividing this into sections cuz thats how the movie plays out to me. in sections

* i have seen this movie probably like. around 20 times. its so bad and i love hating it

* its always lowkey depressing watching brad pitt in this movie he gives me the energy of like a dog about to be put down

* uuuh what else. oh the book is def better but still has its own problems + wouldve worked better as a fictional documentary limited series of sorts

* im also going by memory so thats fun.

* this is long as fuck. way longer than the days after and 2012 posts, but imo theres so much more to shit on in this movie than those two apparently

* ok here we go

THE FIRST 6 MINUTES

* quite literally 2 straight minutes of a people/nature/climate change/natural disaster montage with news report audio over it. and that fuck ass piano

* ^wendy williams jumpscare

* u know they gotta introduce the wife and kids first. AVERAGE AMERICAN NUCLEAR FAMILY shit. there r STAKES! ONES WE DONT GAF ABT BUT THERE R SOME

* on tv during the breakfast scene theres news reports of like spreading unrest and martial law and immmmm like? its said in a bit that the infection emerged like. a week or two ago so why does nobody here know abt it-

* the traffic scene. the way like theres a random explosion somewhere while everyones sitting there and the motorcycle cop just kinda flies out of nowhere to scream at them and then the garbage truck flies out of nowhere to kill him despite there being wall to wall traffic behind them? when i was 12 this was scary as shit but now every time it happens i giggle uncontrollably

* just the general outbreak of chaos in nyc. i once again ask the question of why tf nobody had heard of this thing until like just now like we got people jumping into the front windshield of cars and nibbling people and jumping off buildings and shit

* NOT EVEN EATING THEM!!! BTW!!!! like if i take the time to sit and think this really isnt even that bad of a “zombie” outbreak like u get ONE bite then they seem to fuck off. maybe one or two but like at least u aren’t getting eaten alive ig LAH MAOW

* also the 10 second infection thing is dumb to me. i dunno i just never liked it like OUGH ok. wtv. not possible…BUT WTV…

* the toy counting couldve been like GROUNDBREAKING or creative in a differently shot movie ig

* philadelphia? or boston? or SOMEWHERE NORTHEAST is absolutely decimated in the span of like what i assume is 3 minutes real time. epic

* dunno where all the smoke is coming from + this movie loves french horns + the military helicopter pilot going “CONTAINMENT FAILED” is funny to me. what containment bruh

NEW JERSEY

* i like how the family narrowly escapes the city and flees via some random stretch of interstate and the traffic is NormalTM LAH MAOW

* idc much for the athsmar plot bit its kinda just here to get us to a new jersey pharmacy in order to show us the Breakdown of Society i suppose

* CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS SCENE LIKE ACTUALLY THO? they ditch their vehicle, LEAVING IT OPEN in a chaotic crowd of panicked people like no shot its gonna get stolen BEH BLEH? i dunno what the random guy with the gun in the pharmacy was doing?? but hes cool ig for knowing exactly what the asthmar kid needs and just kinda being there chilling. then the wife gets attacked but jerry saves her and they run out to the ca- NOOO it got stolen. time to flee on foot. through these INFECTED STREETS-

* they run into a random apartment building and theyre just loud asf for no reason in the hallway and its echoing loud as shit

* the immigrant family soooo couldve rode this shit out and survived. how the fuck did the zombies even get into the apartment when the door is locked and barricaded and the family was even quieter than the protagonist’s

* i get that jerry is like a former un investigator or some shit but iiiii dont think the organizations secretary general would be trying to rescue this ONE GUY. theres just?? ONE investigator or something?? jerry pitt isnt special

* its never explained but for some reason if you get like an infected persons blood in yur mouth yur good but if someone bites you yur somehow…not??? lol wtf. pathology who

* if anything this part hammers home how absolutely irrelevant the mc’s family is i genuinely did not give a single fuck abt these kids who have been screaming this entire time

THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER

* once again why is jerry the only one being retrieved-

* the computers and diagrams in the command hq going insane with numbers of infected skyrocketing across the world yet in the span of time thats passed in this movie its only been *checks watch* two days. then the table of scientists arguing about an email being sent out TWO AND A HALF WEEKS PRIOR TO ALL THIS that mentions infected people

* ^ngl. i liked it when the one scientist was like “in the email they mentioned…zombies!!! ☝🏼🤓” and everyone at the table groaned and began shitting on him immediately lol

* jerry gets pissed when the guy in charge of the carrier threatens to throw his family off the boat if he doesnt pull his weight which?? YEAH??? why get mad abt it dude u were brought here to WORK and do INVESTIGATION SHIT

* jerry is essentially getting put in charge of this one virologist who can Figure It Out. the ONE VIROLOGIST who is going to fly into south korea with a seal team to try to investigate the origins of the disease. and this scientist is like…my age?? im pretty sure? hell no lol

* jerry says goobye to his irrelevant fambly and gives them a SATELLITE PHONE TO CONTACT HIM?? WHEN HES FLYING INTO AN ACTIVELY INFESTED AREA FULL OF ZOMBIES??? HE LAYS GROUND RULES BTW!! he says “oh i’ll call u dont call me im working i will call once a day” KFHJDDHHD??? AND THIS LADY DOESNT-

* anyway theres an offhand comment abt how DC has gone dark so the evacuation of the executive and legislative branches r HASHTAG CANCELED. however these guys found the time to rescue the fuckin US constitution LMAOOOO

* this “outbreak” has been ongoing for weeks now. and nobody knew until just yesterday what r we doin y’all

SOUTH KOREA

* fun fact in the book the infection is implied to have come from indochina. there is absolutely no reason whatsoever why they changed this

* anyway so they fly in on a boeing c17?? theres no quieter way to do this apparently but anyway the virologist goes on this little tangent/speech ig about how “mother nature is a serial killer and like serial killers she leaves clues cuz she wants attention HEH and thats how im gonna solve it” and?? no??? this bit always annoys me jfhfhf the writing is like someone trying so hard to sound cool

* they land in their big loud ass c17 cargo plane AT NIGHT so yknow. zombies attack and the virologist (who has been given a loaded gun) gets spooked and

* HE TRIES TO RUN BACK INTO THE PLANE. HE SLIPS AND ACCIDENTALLY FIRES OFF HIS GUN AND SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE FUCKING HEAD LMAOOOO 😭 well FUCK the only guy who can solve this is DEAD NOW time to step tf up jerald

* jerry finally starts doing his job ig when they get into the base and the soldiers stuck in there joke abt the virologist accidentally killing himself. word. and thennn? they showcase like a room full of immolated infected who’s bodies have been mostly reduced to ashes but can still move apparently. eye dee kay

* it’s offhandedly mentioned that ONE soldier wasnt attacked by the infected cuz of a “bum leg”. this will be brought up again later trust

* not the only two black officers asking jerbald abt how st louis and baltimore r doing jfjfjfjf

* theres a CIA officer imprisoned there for some reason and he essentially tells jerry that israel might have answers while pulling out his own teeth with his fucking hand. try doing that yurself real quick. ok now stop thats fucking stupid. then he goes on to claim that north korea pulled out the teeth of all 23 million of its own citizens in order to fight the infected. yeah man ok sure-

* ANOTHER FUN FACT in the book the entire population of north korea straight up disappears in it’s entirety. like. everyone Left Somewhere and everyone else is too scared to go in and investigate cuz cold war booby trappage. its implied that the north koreans fled into a *checks notes* underground bunker city of some kind. yeah. anyway

* he tries to call his wife but theyre in a building ig so the signal is shit but SHE PICKS UP THE CALL! CAN HEAR HIM KINDA GO THROUGH BEFORE HE CUTS THE CALL!!! BTW!!!

* so ok when the plane landed it evidently ran out of fuel or some shit so before jerry can take off one his globetrotting adventure they have to like bike through a thunderstorm and shit which is evidence imo of SOME critical thinking going on in the writers room but alas

* HIS IRRELEVANT WIFE CALLS HIM!!! CUZ SHES BORED!!! AND IT GOES OFF and alerts all the zombies lol

* idr how they attached and detached the fuel line to the 17 but to fill the tank of this behemoth it only took like a minute?? and a soldier got bit and kills himself instantly cuz Sacrifice

* they ESCAPE!! and on the way to their new destination jerry calls his wife back for some reason nfjfjfj imo if i were him i’d be yelling at her like fucking crazy but then a nuke goes off and satellites dont work anymore cuz of that? so the call ends lol

* BOOK FUN FACT TIME AGAIN for soooome? reason india and pakistan end up nuking each other to oblivion while the outbreak/zombie war is happening. idr how many nukes exactly but it was enough to offset the earths climate by decades

* ITS OFF TO ISRAEL

FUCK ISRAEL ONG ALL MY HOMIES HATE ISRAEL

* not even gonna sugarcoat this. this section of the movie AND the book make NO SENSE TO ME.

* in both, israel rescues and helps out the Palestinians and bring them behind the massive wall that theyve somehow built in like?? 20-80 days or something. and haaaaahhhh??? yeah on what fucking planet

* in the book even max brooks writes from the perspective of a palestinian who hates israel who’s family gets rescued by them from the infected so he forgives them??? or like he laments about how wrong he was about them??? yeah. ok max

* anyway jerry brad somehow lands in israel and israel has built the equivalent of like wall fucking maria around the entire(?) territory in a few weeks. theres random tunnels leading out from inside the wall that’s presumably transporting refugees but from WHERE. WE NEVER KNOW. and the entire outside of the wall is just millions of infected. who r not climbing the wall or anything they r kinda just Out There maybe sniffing around a bit and scratching shit. chillin

* im not an architect. im not a military engineer. but ik this deadass would not be possible also ITS IMPLIED??? THAT ISRAEL FUCKING KNEW ABOUT THE INFECTION BEFORE A LOT OF EVERYONE ELSE??? and they just built the wall based on a RADIO MESSAGE FROM INDIA WHERE THEY HEARD “zombies” and went FUUUUCK. TIME TO BUILD THIS FUCKASS WALL. AND NOT TELL ANYONE-

* brad jerry meets a guy and basically they discuss the virus origins and india is brought up for some reason?? and its implied that it came from there but its a black hole now so fuck india and fuck the virus origins ig lol (fun fact in the original script the guy said ‘russia’ not india damn i wonder why they changed that)

* theres this very i feel pointed scene of like. muslim refugees celebrating the fact that they were saved and so theyre singing into a malfunctioning microphone, and THAT is ultimately what makes the zombies quit fucking around and to climb the wall. not the incessant military activity or the constantly patrolling choppers or the weird random tunnels full of buses and shit its these hijabis singing and its the feedback from this one microphone. that does it ig

* the wall climbing scene is iconic ngl. one of the most terrifying concepts ever im giving credit

* jerbrad runs through jersusalem and he witnesses a bald kid (implied to be undergoing chemotherapy) get avoided by a stampede of zombies. another cluuuueee ooooo then one of his escorts get bit by a zombie and he chops her hand off no hesitation #GetActive

* they somehow manage to flag down a passenger plane before it takes off and get it to stop to let bradjer and the israeli chick onboard which is hilarious in hindsight cuz imagine being one of the paying passengers and yur plane stops and now its abt to get Swarmed. lol

* yknow what actually. why was this plane and other planes so ready to take off while fully boarded. where tf were all these people going originally?? what??? like atp its beeeeen 3 days since the start of the movie nfhfbfbdnd

THE PLANE

* i dunno why jerry thinks or like. why the UN guy thinks that they can just hijack this plane apparently and tell the pilots where to go. what abt EVERYONE ELSE

* israeli chick says something that triggers a FLASHBACK!!! and jerbrad puts all the clues togetherrrrrr and comes to the conclusion that if YOU. ARE SICK. OR ARE IN FACT TERMINALLY ILL! the zombies wont bite u 😏

* i dont even know where to begin with this ngl. how the fuck would zombies even know that someone is sick or has a disease. does someone HAVE to be terminally ill? what level of disease are we talking about? is it ANY DISEASE? what if u have like. kidney stomes. can the ZOMBIE SENSE IT and CAN THE ZOMBIE DEDUCE THAT IT DOESNT WANT ITS HOST TO HAVE KIDNEY STONES??? what about the random irrelevant kid with ATHSMAR??? WOULD THE ZOMBIES NOT WANT TO BITE HER?? DO PEOPLE SMELL OF DISEASE???? CAN THE ZOMBIES SMELL HIV?? WHAT ABOUT THE GUY WITH THE BUM LEG WHAT THE FUCK DID HE HAVE? HE JUST SAID ITD BEEN HURTING AND LIMPING!! SO DO PHYSICAL AILMENTS AFFECT THE WAY ZOMBIES PERCIEVE PEOPLE TOO OR

* anyway. i digress

* somehow a zombie got onto the plane despite the fact that the zombies r like Loud as Shit and also an infected person cant really hide their infection cuz they turn in like 10 seconds and also the people in the plane are ALSO loud and anyway the zombie jumps out at a flight stewardess and bleh

* JERALD GETS THE BUM FUCK IDEA. TO CREATE A WALL OF SUITCASES TO BLOCK OUT THE ZOMBIES FROM THEIR SECTION OF THE PLAAAAAANE??????? suitcase drops and hell breaks loose ofc

* ngl the grenade was the safest fucking way this plane was getting onto the ground LMAOOOO but i mean. the pilots? KNEW what was going on and didnt decide to try to land????? huwuuuh

* ABSOLUTE CHAD MOVE ON JERBRADS this was all timed perfectly he made the plane crash right where he wanted it- in a random ass country with a WHO headquarters: wales

* its never answered or like acknowledged but there r straight up no zombies running around the city/town they end up in btw. everyone’s inside their houses vibing. how 2020 shouldve been-

* jerbrad wakes up from the crash and has like a seatbelt lodged in his stomach but the israeli emerges from the wreck unscathed for some reason. she manages to drag his nigh unconscious ass through the town to

THE WHO

* jerbrad wakes up after 3 days and immediately starts giving shit to all the staff there like “U DUNNO WHAT ITS LIKE!! TO HAVE FAMILY AT RISK” and then the head sciencer just goes “yeah um actually my entire family turned into zombies right before my eyes. so” PFIFJFH granted jer freaks cuz his family was kicked off the aircraft carrier cuz the UN thought he was dead in the crash but like cmon. they didnt ship their asses back to philadelphia or some shit lol

* the way they have this infected black woman locked up behind a glass barrier absolutely sends me. btw. shes just 👁️🦷🦷👁️

* anyway jerbald shares his THEORY!!! abt the zombies being able to SMELL IF YUR SICK OR NOT…and the sciencers r like ok cool man sick theory but we cant really test this cuz we keep all our serious yet curable diseases in this one vault thats not in this building its in another Wing thats overrun by like 80 Zambies

* gonna talk abt that rq ok so they play back the security video and the scientist guy is looking at the disease through a microscope and then he like accidentally touches it or cuts himself on something ig. and then he flicks his ungloved cut infected hand around. and then he starts convulsing then he fucking turns wtf 😭 sir u r a WHO employee. u handle viruses daily why did u do that

* anyway jerbad is like fuckit imma prove my theory is real and they attempt to sneak through the wing of the WHO thats infected but ofc someone drops some shit and OUUU alerts all the zombies and everyone is chased around and jerrr finds himself trapped in the vauuult. with the diseasesss. hes only trapped btw cuz of one zombie whos outside the door ig

* he deadass doesn’t read any of the pathogen bottles/containers he just picks one and even the scientists r like “if he picked any of the pathogens out of the left box bro is COOKEDDT 😭🙏🏼” jerbrad are we gonna slow down and think for a minute maybe NO balls to the wall we’re injecting ourselves with unknown microbes. we’re giving ourselves FUCKING ANTHRAX for all we know

* turns out it was the right one cuz the ZOMBIES DONT NOTICE HIM ANYMORE!!! and he does a pepsi product placement advertisement then he does a big hero walk down a hallway past a swarm of zombies and boom. humanity. is SavedTM

EPILOGUE

* they like pull a sample from Jerbald and make…something. they call it a vaccine but im pretty damn sure it’s not 😭 it gives?? everyone a “disease” or something that camouflages people from the infected and it makes no sense. u r deadass better off infecting everyone with tuberculosis. maybe cholera would even work idk i just know that infecting everyone remaining human with HIV would be a massive misstep. BETTER YET if physical ailments also deter zombies why not just like. have everyone literally break their own femur or some shit. “EVERYBODY!! BREAK YOUR FUCKING ARMS RN!!! FOR ALL MANKIND!!!”

* jer narrates like theres gonna be a sequel. this movie came out in 2013

* “humanity fights back” and it shows footage of like people using dogs to attack zombies and throwing molotov cocktails and using flamethrowers like ok. shooooorrreeeee and then its revealed that jers fambly was evacuated to an island in nova scotia and hes like THIS ISNT THE EEEND!! BITCHES!!!!

* also they end up giving the rest of humanity a meningitis strain with and i quote “H1N1 and smallpox mixed in” WHAT?? WHAT IS THAT? insane to me, imagine presenting that idea to the UN. like it would fucking matter at that point ig-

FINAL NOTE + 1

* ultimately the book is better. the book isnt particularly “good” but its way better than the movie (as it always seems to be) and ya the only thing? that i can recognize from the book is the whole section of the movie dedicated to fuckin israel. otherwise everything else is made up on the fly. i have no idea why this is considered an adaptation

* wait no just remembered the three seconds of footage of people fighting with medieval weapons. one of my fav bits of the book btw, english peeps waiting out the outbreak in many of the uk’s castle ruins and having to scavenge museums for armor and weapons. those precious 3 seconds…

AND IM DONE! FINALLY

#kudzu opinions #god finally. hate this movie #<- rewatched it while writing all this

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chiangyorange · 2 years ago

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fuckin suberb art I can't figure one thing out tho are those horns or do you have a catgirl with pink hair oc world of yours?

love it eitherway they all seem interesting

those are ears!!! yes we legit have a catgirl in our pantheon roster and i think its fucking hilarious, personally. her name is claramay :]

i actually didnt make her btw!! i can full 100% claim the three that r circled

the rest i can still talk abt tho bc im 1 of 2 of the main lorekeepers of this funny little world

#chiangy answers #about astraphel

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ticklyenderman · 2 years ago

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welcome to the rp blog:)

last updated: may 30, 2023 12:48PM

main: @strangleetomz

This account is strictly SFW, the owner of this blog (me) is a minor. NSFW DNI!

Hc’s are a work in progress.

general hc’s💜

Originally, Ranboo is from the End and was royalty. That’s why they wear the crown.

They are nonbinary and use they/he pronouns //they mostly prefer they/them but doesn’t particularly mind he/him.

They’re often caught carrying a grass block or their memory book. If not either of those then they will most likely just have their hands in their pockets.

Constantly surrounded & followed by enderman particles.

They are very anxious and shy, all the time. They speak quietly a lot unless around somebody they really, really trust.

They are typically found either in snowchester or a forest, sometimes just wandering the SMP.

They spend way too much time mining, they overwork themselves.

appearance hc’s🌓

Their skin & hair is very messily split black and white. On the white side of their body, their hair is black. On the black side of their body, their hair is white.

This isn’t a hc considering it is canon, but they are 8’5. They’re often more hunched over to appear somewhat shorter, and it’s entirely fucked up their posture. Their platform boots make them about 8’8-8’9.

Their wardrobe consists of black suits, black dress pants, black skirts (hardly ever wears), red ties, black ties, black platform boots, and white platform boots. They do own a couple sweaters and more comfortable pants, but they almost never wear them. They have flower crowns from Tubbo and Tommy, and emerald earings from Techno and Phil.

They have light purple scars on their face, streamed down like tears. Water burns them because they’re an enderman, so when they would cry it burned them badly and scarred their face.

they have fangs

they’re hair is long, it reaches their shoulders and sometimes their neck / ears get tickled by their own hair

they also have two tails that r very fluffy!! and they have horns !!!!

lee hc’s🌙

this poor. poor baby/hj

they are very much a shy and gentle lee

they love gentle tickles

but they also love rougher tickles

when they get tickled, if its going to last a bit then they prefer it starting gentle and gradually leading to rough / playful

they cannot handle any teases or complements. at all.

they can NOT say the “t word.” if they try it’ll just be “t- t- t.. ti- t… aagh! i can’t do it..”

THEY BLUSH PURPLE. PURPLE BLUSH/pos

they are most definitely a lee leaning switch.

they looooveeee tickle kisses/p, raspberries & nibbles ! :D

they don’t really say many protests, they just take whatever torture (/j) theyre given. unless with tubbo or tommy or sometimes wilbur, then threats and protests will be given.

they can’t handle rough or light, both techniques will kill them. they can never win/hj

(to the mfs w/ wings they are very feather sensitive btw😇)

ler hcs⚡️

they are also a shy ler!

they don’t really tease as much because they’re very anxious almost all the time and just not confident when it comes to tickling others. so, they resort to complements.

example; “aww, look at you!” “you’re laughter is adorable, i could listen to it all day.” “you’re so cute!” etc etc

they will eventually gain more confidence once it goes on long enough, until then enjoy being a puddle of giggles and flusteredness

fangs. nibbles. they give nibbles. have somebody prepare ur funeral when this happens/hj

they are suprisingly very good at raspberries as well

they love giving tickle kisses just as much as they love receiving, however they’ll only do this to certain people. (they accept them from anyone though)

they have claws! perfect for light traces>:} /vpos

they will often ask things like “is this okay?” and start off really gentle, because they’re afraid of hurting their lee, making them uncomfortable or “doing it wrong.”

spot hc’s🌺

palms / hands: 3/10, not insanely bad but you’ll get some really soft / squeaky giggles !

arms / shoulders : 3.5/10, about the same as their hands just sliiightly worse

sides: 5.3/10: any technique here will get them to be really reallyy squirmy and giggly, tasering / poking gets them to squeal and raspberries or even nibbles if u decide to do that will get them to shriek. (nibbles or raspberries anywhere get them shrieking)

underarms: 6/10, any tickles here get loud squeals n giggles, rough or light, tracing or scribbles, anything here gets them rlly bad

stomach: 7.5/10, this spot’s not horrible, however, if you you use the right techniques that can escalate to a 10/10 real quick. raspberries or nibbles?? they are a deadman/j. you go for their navel ??? deadman !!/j if u do that thing where its like you trace / circle their stomach, getting closer to their navel before attacking ?? deadman./j BUT light tickles ?? hello?? gentle tracing, light scribbles / spidering ?? loud giggles, squeals. tickle kisses here ?? oohh they’ll melt. blushy giggly melty ranboo !!/pos

back: 7.6/10 this spot is great for gentle tickles, it is mostly a melt spot but it depends on what techniques u use!

thighs: 8/10, loud laughter n shrieks from this spot !! and kicks ! i reccomend pinning lmaoo they r a KICKER /pos

knees: 8.3/10 wHEHWW you should DEFINITELY pin them for this they WILL kick you WILL receive brain damage once kicked with those long ass legs /hj they will be yelling and most definitely trying to get away from you bc its just. SO. bad/pos

ribs: 9/10, they SCREAAM once this is targetted ! lots of squirming n bucking, if u do the rib counting game they’ll die. lower ribs are worse than upper but they’re both still very bad! weeakkk to raspberries here, and their back ribs ?? they’ll die. they will die. raspberries or nibbles there kill them btw

hips: 100/10 UUEHEHAHAHFJS THIS SPOT GETS THEM SCREAMING !! Shrieky laughter, squeals, bucking their hips, you MUST pin if you tickle them here they will be ALL OVER THE PLACE!! raspberries ?? killer. nibbles ?? killer.

neck / ears: 10/10!! especially the back of their neck, they’ll die!! but theyre so tall that nobody can ever reach up there, no one expects them to be so insanely ticklish there! they keep these spots protected at all costs even if the person doesnt pose a “threat.” raspberries to the back of their neck will kill them, raspberries anywhere on their neck will kill them but especially on the back. nibbles will kill them. absolutely destroy them. kisses ?? squeals n melts its adorable

boundaries

NSFW DNI!! I WILL NOT RP WITH YOU IF YOU ARE AN NSFW BLOG.

I prefer rping with people i already know / am friends with! sorry

i am not really comfortable with feet tkls i guess something brief like a tail or smth brushing on their foot would be fine ?? but try to just like not do anything w/ it at all

do not constantly remind me to respond! i will respond whenever i can think of a response or whenever i want to respond

No stocks or tools. Pinning and holding hands up or pinning hands under ur knees is fine but NO STOCKS OR TOOLS

#ticklyenderman #lee!ranboo #ler!ranboo #sfw tickle rp blog

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sgtjbbhasmyheart · 4 years ago

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Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Two

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 2921

Warnings: bad language words, blink and you’ll miss the angst, just some fluff

A/N: divider credit- @firefly-graphics

DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission

You awoke with a start, feeling as if you were late for work or something important and forgot to set your alarm. Your heart beat an erratic tattoo against your ribcage. Scrambling for your cell phone, you blindly reached across the side table near your bed in a panic. Unplugging the phone, you brought the device an ungodly closeness to your face. It was only 6:17. On Saturday.

Your pulse throbbed behind your eyeballs, and a strange stickiness coated the inside of your mouth. Did you drink that much last night?

How could you not? Timmons was a fair boss, and you enjoyed your job, but that dude loved the sound of his own voice.

The quarterly business dinners were mandatory for all employees, even for the P.A.s. Typically, they weren’t so bad, but last night, Timmons felt the need to toot his own horn for landing a massive contract with Stark Industries slash The Avengers. He went on and on about how great it was for the firm.

He was like a giant kid in a candy store with his ramblings. ‘We will be promoting the face of The Avengers and everything that goes with it,’ he spouted off like the firm was god’s gift to public relations.

You groaned at the reminder of last night’s presentation. The contract wasn’t even in effect yet, and you were sick of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Timmons could be a real buzz kill.

Rolling to your back, you brought your phone up to tap the screen to read the emails you received overnight. On display was a text from 11:04 by someone named James. It read: “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

Your mind went back to last night again, trying to recall who this James was. He must be significant if you plugged his contact information into your phone already. Had you met someone last night?

Drawing a blank, you clicked on the text bubble to pull up the thread. Briefly scanning through the numerous texts, everything came rushing back. In an attempt to text your sister, Robyn, you mistakenly texted this mysterious, James.

You felt like an utter buffoon when you learned he wasn’t Robyn. You always did have a way with the cute boys. Probably why you were single. You groaned out loud as you read on.

You im safely inside my apartment. Pretty sure no one followed me home

James Did you triple check the lock on the front door?

You yes dad yeesh

James There are a lot of bad people out there. Just want to make sure you’re safe.

You sounds like you watch the news too much but its sweet of u to care

James I know from experience.

You r u the bad guy or have u been the one mugged?

James Let’s just say I have friends that have dealt with the bad things of the world.

You right i almost forgot ur a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie

James Did you ever send your sister a text?

You shit thanks for reminding me i have such a crazy story to tell her

James Only good things, I hope.

You oh yeah all the good things an enigmatic yet handsome stranger cares more about my safety than any of my ex-boyfriends ever did.

James My ma raised me right.

You id say

James_ I hate to cut this short, but I think you need your rest. Especially if you’re meeting your sister tomorrow._

You i dont want to agree but ur probably right

You whats ur name btw?

James My name? Why? Do you plan to continue texting me after tonight?

You duh ur fun to talk to

James Oh.

You or not its cool if u dont want to

James It’s James.

You nice to meet u james im (y/n)

James Nice to meet you as well.

You my sister just texted me back and were still meeting at 9 i should go

You goodnite james

James Goodnight, (Y/N).

Oh. My. God. Had you seriously drunk-flirted with a stranger and offered to keep texting him? You had no shame with a few drinks in you.

You brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose and sighed loudly.

What did you know of this James? He had a New York area phone number. Check. He could have been a real dick about your mistake but wasn’t. Understanding. Check. He worried about you getting home safely in your inebriated state. Caring. Check. Not too forthcoming with the nine to five. Secretive. Check. His mouth looked so soft and plush, and his eyes were made to drown in. Gorgeous. Check.

A heat simmered beneath your skin as you recounted the shortlist you’d made. Were you lusting over someone you’d exchanged less than forty texts with? Had you somehow woken back up in high school?

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you stared at the screen displaying the message thread. Were you really considering this? You nodded your head to answer your own question. Where was the harm in a little shameless flirting? If worse came to worst, you could always block him.

With your mind made up, you began typing into your phone, constructing an apology.

You Good morning! First off, I want to apologize for the way I behaved over text last night.

You Though, I do like to imbibe in the occasional drink or two, I am, by no means, a lush.

You Please take everything I said with a grain of salt. Apparently, I get loose-lipped and cheeky with free wine. 😐

You Again, I’m sorry and understand if you wanted to cease our correspondence for my behavior.

You blew out a breath and tossed your phone aside. It was up to fate now and a stranger named James.

You laid in your bed for several minutes staring at the ceiling, contemplating between whether to send a ‘haha just kidding’ text and what the weather would be like, so you could forego shaving your legs in the shower today.

Your phone chimed during the pondering of hair removal, indicating a new text. You knew it was James proclaiming you a freak and to forget his number, but secretly, you hoped it was Robyn canceling today.

Seizing the phone from your mattress top, your heart’s beat increased with each second you went without looking at the screen. Finding the courage, you flipped the device over to read the message.

James Quite the formal apology, Ms. Professor.

You smiled at the text. It didn’t tell you to pound sand or eat shit. No, it was teasing and in jest. You sighed in relief.

You Cease our correspondence too much?

James No, no it was perfect if this was 1863, and you were breaking up with me via telegraph.

You Stop!

James Exactly! ‘Never speak to me again!’ Stop. ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Stop.

A belly laugh disrupted the tranquil air of your bedroom. You quickly thumbed out a reply once you caught your breath.

You You’re incorrigible.

James I’m glad to see you are using proper capitalization and punctuation this morning.

You Ha!

You When you are buzzed and/or tipsy, capitals and periods be damned. Like you’re so perfect when you’re drunk.

James We all have our flaws.

Was he implying he was a sloppy texter when drunk, too? You shrugged it off as him being cryptic again.

You What are you doing up so early on a Saturday? I didn’t wake you, did I?

You were suddenly stricken with guilt. You should have waited for a more reasonable hour to send out rapid-fire apology texts. Not at 6:36 in the morning. You didn’t want last night’s behavior hanging over you, though. Better to clear the air now than later. You could always ask for forgiveness again if you had disturbed his sleep.

James I had just gotten back from my run when I saw your texts. I have training this morning.

You Oh, right. For your hush-hush, super top secret mission/quidditch game.

You You ever gonna tell me what you really do?

James_ Maybe. Someday._

How far away was someday? Was he planning to text you until you both died or until he got bored? How did texting relationships even work?

You Or is it one of those situations where if you told me you’d have to kill me?

James 😈

You There you go again--being all mysterious.

James Keep ‘em guessing and coming back for more.

You Has that strategy worked well for you in the past?

James Got you to text me again this morning, didn’t it?

You scoffed at what he had suggested. He was correct, but your stubborn streak would deny everything.

You The only reason I texted you this morning was to apologize for acting like a drunken fool last night.

And to squash the curiosity burning in your veins. But he didn’t need to know that.

James Oh.

The reply caused you to furrow your brow and your stomach to drop. You regretted not adding more levity to your last text. Of course, it wasn’t the only reason you were drawn to him.

You I appreciate that the selfie you sent wasn’t a dick pic. And you genuinely seemed to care about me getting home safely. Thank you.

You And maybe- a teeny, tiny bit- is honestly interested in getting to know you better.

You waited on pins and needles for his text, watching the pulsing ellipsis on your screen. Was he just humoring you?

James Hook. Line. Sinker.

Reading his response generated a flush from your jaw to your hairline. You growled in embarrassment. You fell for the oldest trick in the book. He baited you for a compassionate answer, and you delivered beautifully. Hook, line, and sinker, indeed.

You You’re an ass. I take everything back.

James Don’t be mad. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, but you played into my trap wonderfully.

James If it makes you feel any better, all kidding aside, I want to get to know you better too.

James I fell asleep with a smile on my face last night and woke up with one this morning.

James Because of you, (Y/N).

A flutter broke apart in your chest. You hadn’t time-traveled back to high school; no, this was junior high territory.

You You’re lucky you’re so damn charming, James.

James Doll, you have no idea.

The subway ride into Manhattan usually gave you the chance to get a little reading in since it took nearly fifty minutes from Queens. Not today, though. You spent the entirety of the train ride texting back and forth with James. It was mundane stuff, but you were getting a grasp of who James was as a person.

You Favorite color?

James Black. You?

You Blue.

You Favorite ice cream flavor?

James Chocolate. Yours?

You Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.

James I didn’t realize we were getting specific.

You We weren’t, but that’s my favorite.

You Favorite movie?

James I like the classics- The Wizard of Oz, It’s A Wonderful Life, Frankenstein.

You I have too many to list, so don’t ask.

You Okay. Lightning round because I’m almost to my stop.

James Where are you going again?

You paused your reply for a brief second, wondering if you should divulge your destination. You’d known James less than twenty-four hours; although, it felt like weeks after this morning. Where was the harm in telling him where you were meeting your sister? There were nearly nine million people in this city. There was no way you’d ever bump into each other.

You A bakery in the Upper East Side called Two Little Red Hens. Ever been?

James Don’t think I have.

You Well, since you like chocolate, they have a fantastic cake called Brooklyn Blackout. Super rich but delicious.

James Sounds right up my alley.

You Cats or dogs?

James I’m gone too much, so cats.

The answer piqued your interest. Maybe he was an athlete. Wouldn’t it be practice and not training, though? Or he’s FBI or CIA.

You Socks on or off for sleeping?

James Off.

You Silver or gold?

James Silver.

You Morning, noon, or night?

James Night.

You How do you take your coffee?

James Room for sugar and creamer.

You Boxers or briefs?

James Boxer briefs.

You laughed out loud, looking around the subway car to see if anyone was paying attention to you. Per usual, they weren’t.

You Touché.

As soon as the train stopped, you gathered your purse close to your body and made for the exit. You followed the crowd of fellow passengers through the turnstile and ascended the stairs onto street level.

The morning sunlight caressed your skin like a warm blanket. The humidity wasn’t too bad, yet, but the threat of afternoon thunderstorms still hung in the air.

Even with the reasonably early hour, the sidewalk was stuffed with people, carrying to-go coffee cups or shopping bags. You fought for your little spot of real estate on the grimy concrete.

Stopping at a red traffic light, waiting to cross, you typed out another question for James.

You Pineapple on pizza--yay or nay?

The light changed as you finished, and the throng of pedestrians around you guided you across the street. You spotted Robyn outside the bakery as your phone dinged with a new text alert.

“Wow, I’m surprised you made it on time,” Robyn said as you hugged hello.

You looked at the clock on your phone. 8:58. “You and me both, sister.” Glancing back at your phone’s screen, you giggled.

James What kind of monster puts pineapple on their pizza??

“What’s so funny?” Robyn asked as you accompanied her through the bakery’s door.

With a grin on your face, you punched out a quick reply:

You Well, it was nice knowing you, James. It was a swell friendship while it lasted--a whole 11 ½ hours.

Robyn elbowed you softly in the ribs with a look on her face, seeking an explanation.

“Ow,” you grunted. “What?”

“You tell me. I half expected a zombie to walk through the doors today after your text last night. Not Suzie Sunshine.”

You both edged closer to the counter as the line in front of you dwindled.

James Say it ain’t so, doll! Pineapple on pizza? Really??

You let out a low chortle as you skimmed the text. You glimpsed up at Robyn as you shuffled forward in line again. “Believe me, I’m pretty hungover,” you replied, shoving your phone in your back pocket. “It’s a funny story. I’ll tell you everything when we sit.”

Robyn stared at you warily, still trying to figure out what had come over you. “Okay,” she conceded, stepping to the register to order.

With each of you supplied with an iced coffee and a peach ginger scone, you found an empty table by a window along 2nd Avenue and proceeded to tell Robyn about James.

When you stopped to catch your breath, remembering the whirlwind the last twelve hours had been, you peered at your sister for her reaction.

She stared at you like you’d grown a second head. She shook her head in disbelief. “(Y/N), what where you thinking?”

Your brow pinched in confusion. Was she actually scolding you? You crossed your arms over your chest. “I was thinking about how my big sister is always telling me to meet new people and how it’s time I thought about settling down.”

“Not like this it’s not,” she hissed. “This is how your body parts end up in someone’s freezer!”

You choked on the piece of scone you shoved in your mouth before she started ridiculing you. After coughing to clear your airway and taking a sip of your iced coffee, you leered at Robyn. “Oh, my god! Dramatic much? Have you been binge-watching Dateline again? Jesus Christ, Robyn, he’s harmless,” you countered.

“You think you’ll be so careful, but you’ll let one little detail slip, and he’ll find you,” Robyn said before taking a pull from her coffee.

“You mean, like, how I was meeting you at Two Little Red Hens at nine o’clock?”

Robyn’s mouth popped open in an O. “What the hell, (Y/N)?” she stage-whispered. “Are you trying to get yourself kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking?”

“Please,” you drew out in one long syllable. “He doesn’t know what I look like. How would he snatch me?”

“He could look you up on Facebook.”

“Without a last name?” You shook your head, no.

“What about a reverse search on your number?” Robyn asked, pushing the plate holding her scone away. “That’s a thing.”

“Perhaps, but it seems like a lot of effort for a mistake I made. It wasn’t like he was seeking me or anyone else out.”

Robyn huffed out a breath and folded her arms in exasperation. Always the protective big sister. You could tell you were breaking her down, though.

“C’ mon, Robbie. It’s all in innocent fun. I’m not saying I’m hoping he’ll turn out to be Mr. Right, but the banter is fun,” you remarked. “James is charming and witty and nice to talk to.”

Robyn shook her head once more, frowning. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

You reached across the table for her hand and squeezed gently. “Me too.” You smiled slyly, remembering last night’s dinner and Timmons gushing about The Avengers. “If not, I know how to get ahold of a couple of centenarians who know chivalry isn’t dead.”

Chapter One | Chapter Three

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clearsky · 4 years ago

Text

My Top Comfort Characters/Kins and My Main HCs For Them

(Note, not all my kins/comfort characters are on here, just the ones I have more than 5 hcs for)

CW: Korekiyo Shinguji (DRV3), Himiko Yumeno (DRV3), Shinsou Hitoshi (BNHA), Kyoko Kirigiri (THH), Tsuyu Asui (BNHA), Entrapta (Spop), Ibuki Mioda (SDR2), Celestia Ludenberg (THH), Funtime Foxy (FNAF), Peril (WOF)

Korekiyo Shinguji (DRV3)

Nonbinary

He/They pronouns

Autistic

Chains and loose accessories are for stimming

Likes the feeling of silk and cotton

Can't stand the feeling of anything rough or bumpy

He likes collecting small trinkets and the bones of small mammals

Can't stand anything salty. He'll eat it but he certainly won't enjoy it

Dating Rantaro

Can flirt, but only if he doesn't try

Petnames are a hell yea

Gets sunburnt really easily

Group dates with Celesnaegiri and Ikuzono

Can't cook for s h i t

Had a scene kid phase in middle school

Went to the same middle school as Celeste and Maki

Knew them when Celeste went through her "I'm not like other girls" phase and Maki was a Band Kid™

Himiko Yumeno (DRV3)

Female

She/Her pronouns

Lesbian

Can force herself to fall asleep within seconds regardless of where she is

100% forces herself to fall asleep when she doesn't wanna listen/talk to someone

Himiko/Angie/Tenko relationship. I'm calling them the Traffic Light Trio

She likes taking naps in the forest

She prefers enclosed/tight spaces more than open ones

Has several hundred stress balls and squishies laying around

She overheats easy

Shinsou Hitoshi (BNHA)

Questioning his gender, but goes by any pronouns

Knows he's Asexual, at least

Has no clue what his romantic orientation is though

The kind of person to carry treats in his pocket just in case he runs into a cat

Will stop to pet literally every cat he comes across

Great at reading people

Doesn't talk unless it's 100% needed

Hangs with Tokoyami, Jirou, and Denki most often

Aizawa has 100% unofficially adopted him

Fosters kittens

Not a big fan of physical touch

He is 100% in the bakusquad. Anyone who says he's in the Dekusquad is a c o w a r d

He and Tsuyu vibe

Knows a bunch of random facts

Dark humour? Dark humour

*skates backwards into his therapist's room slowly sipping from an absurdly huge cup of coffee* Candice you're not gonna BELIEVE the shit I just went through

In case I forgot to mention it, he skates

Kyoko Kirigiri (THH)

Mtf

She/Her

Bi with female preference

Burns go up to her shoulders/collarbone/chest

Prefers to just listen as opposed to saying anything

Knows a ton of random trivia about everyone else in her class

She keeps a notebook she fills with all the trivia

Doesn't celebrate her birthday. She just doesn't see the point of it

Doesn't hate sugar/sweets, but if given the choice she would choose literally everything else

Cuts her own hair

A cat person

Permanent dark circles

T-Tall 😳

Like,,, 6'1 at LEAST

Only person taller than her is Yasuhiro (6'3)

Canon no longer exist

Ahahaha healthy life habits? What are those?

Can't handle horror games

She's the kind of person you'd go to if you needed to rant but didn't want any advice

Polyamourous yo

Celeste/Kyoko/Makoto

She's a dom yall are just scared to admit it

Tsuyu Asui (BNHA)

They go by They/Them

Lesbian

They and Ochaco are dating

They like to hang with Shinsou

Which mainly just means the two sitting in one of their dorms in near total silence doing whatever

Can speak English and French as well as Japanese

Learned English from cartoons

Picked up French bc they thought it'd be fun

Prefers to stay neutral in the whole Bakusquad / Dekusquad thing

They're invited to all outings/events by/for both squads

They like puns

They're a dumbass but willingly, and for fun

Like "someone says they like dark humour and they'll turn off the lights before telling a joke" kind dumbass for fun

Great at poker

Likes Disney Movies

Very touchy once you get close enough

Not in a sexual way, just likes physical contact

Especially fond of piggyback rides and cuddles

Extreme fear of needles

Entrapta (She-Ra)

She/Her or It/Its

Doesn't bother trying to figure out whether she's cis, trans, nonbinary, or what

Was AMAB though

Short as fuck (4'7)

Strong as fuck though

Cuddle game strong

Physical touch is a fuck yes

Cuddles

Piggyback rides

Hugs

Anything where she's touching someone is wonderful in her book

As long as she's the one that initiates it

Anyone else touching her without her permission makes her freak

Prefers being high up

Makes it harder for anyone to sneak up on her

An ace at video games

When it comes to sexuality she just says she's Questioning

Ibuki Mioda (SDR2)

Any pronouns + Pup/Pupself + It/Its

No idea what their gender is otherwise

Biromantic Asexual

Just likes sexual jokes

Gets distracted easily

Has severe hearing problems

She's plays her instruments as loud as possible, with the amp right next to her, without ANY ear protection

It's caused some damage

She talks so loud bc she has no idea how loud is considered acceptable

Wears hearings aids most of the time

Several piercings and tattoos

Likes hearing things jingle

She has a bracelet with a few bells hanging from it

She'll shake it whenever she's bored

LOVES hair accessories

Ribbons are a particular favourite

Occasionally she'll hang little charms from her hair "horns"

The kind of person who never takes any pills/medicine bc she keeps forgetting she has to

Frequently uses emojis

Skates everywhere but she isn't very good at it

She keeps crashing into everything

Has broken every bone in her body at least 3 times

Most of which was bc she keeps trying to kick in doors and skating down the stairs

Celestia Ludenberg (THH)

Nonbinary

Any pronouns, mainly goes by She/They

Bi, 70:30

Collects mini hand sanitizers and can tabs

Has single handedly gotten Mario Kart, Mario Party, Monopoly, Uno, and Clue banned a grand total of 17 times (and counting)

The kind of person to purposefully target someone regardless of what game was being played

Favourite victim is Byakuya (bc he gets so upset about it and she finds that hilarious)

Mains Waluigi

Celeste/Kyoko/Makoto

Has several banned Twitter accounts bc whenever she's bored she'll start discourse on purpose

Hangs with Korekiyo, Ibuki, Byakuya, Yasuhiro, and Leon most often

It's a weird friend group but everyone's sorta gotten used to it

She and Byakuya gamble together occasionally

She tries to avoid it bc he'll willingly blow his entire fortune in an attempt to beat her

Autustic

Can't stand the feeling of water

Mainly bc she can't swim for shit

Horror movies? Hates them

Gets flustered super easily

Taka is her twin brother

Kotoko, Kokichi, and Gundham are their half siblings (Same father)

Peko and Toko are their cousins

She sucks ass at go fish

Fuck canon she's 4'11 now

C h u b b y

Freckles

Once she gets comfortable enough with herself she dyes her hair in the peekaboo style

Either black and red or black and blonde

Haven't decided yet

I'll be doing Celesnaegiri hcs as a seperate post but I just feel it's important for you to know that she expresses her affection verbally and is a very touchy person

Went to middle school with Maki and Korekiyo

Has horrible eyesight

She wears contacts most of the time but she always puts off buying more

After the 5th or so time she ended up blindly stumbling around a week after her contacts ran out Kyoko convinced her to buy glasses as well

Religious accessories yo

Like chokers and dangly earrings with crosses and pentagrams and shit

Likes wearing wacky earrings

Can run and do all sorts of tricks in heels

She and Mukuro are exes yo

Keeps her hair short so it's easier to manage

Hair never gets longer than her shoulders if she can help it

She seems like the kind of person who'd keep her bangs grown past her eyes regardless of how frustrating or inconvenient it is

She's a sub yall just don't wanna admit it

Funtime Foxy (FNAF)

I'm going on the record to say this

Funtime Foxy is genderfluid and that is that

Goes by Funtime

Any pronouns, They/Them most commonly

Plays music (keyboard and guitar mainly)

They and Funtime Freddy (Freds) mainly play with the kids

Freds mainly tells stories with Bonbon while Funtime more so plays one-on-one

Has nicknames for everyone

Circus Baby - Ringleader

Ballora - Bells

Funtime Freddy - Partner

Bon Bon - Bun

Peril (WOF)

I like both Nonbinary She/They Peril and Mtf She/Her Peril

They're both such good concepts

She's a lesbian, Harold

She only had a crush on Clay bc he was pretty much everything she was supposed to like in a guy

Gimme a moment while I force all my mental disorders onto this poor child

Autistic, Anxiety (Social anxiety, mainly, but she has most types), Adhd, PTSD

I'd like to reiterate yet again that She's a lesbian

Sunny and Glory were her gay awakening

Peril in Book 1: Damn, Sunny and Glory sure are pretty. Anyone would be lucky to date them. Clay would probably go for them over me. He would be stupid if he didn't. I myself would willingly date them over someone like me. They're just so pretty :(

Peril waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of arc 2: WAIT-

Rarepair alert but Peril/Sora

Peril meeting Sora: "Hmmm She's attractive. I would love to date her. Too bad I'm straight and in love with her brother lmao :P"

Peril, a mere month later, waiting for Ruby to leave Jade Mountain, pacing in her cave, running face first into a wall: WAIT-

I remember reading this one amazing story where Sora taught Peril to read/write and Peril found out she set off the bomb and comforted her/convinced her her run so that's canon now

Btw if anyone can remember what that story was called/what platform it was on and could tell me I'd appreciate it very much

I'd even be willing to draw a character of your's or make you an icon or something

I usually don't accept requests bc I get burnt out easy but this is a special case

She runs into Sora again sometime between the beginning of TOP and the end

I like to imagine she just goes wandering around

Anyway she confesses like a mere few minutes after running into her again bc Peril is just subtle like that

The actual confession takes 15 minutes and the entire time Sora is just sitting here like "👁👄👁 sure"

Bam Peril/Sora

Peril plans to keep it a secret for a little while longer but she spends 3 seconds around Clay and pretty much blurts it out

Clay, who wasn't even aware that Peril was a lesbian, is just "👁👄👁"

I wanna say Clay doesn't know what a lesbian is but in my canon Sunny is a lesbian so Starflight has already told him

Anyway he's super supportive

From that point Peril is sorta open about her sexuality?

Like, she gives Clay permission to tell the rest of the D.O.D bc she isn't about to risk being in front of them when they hear the news

(When Sunny starts actively seeking her out as a hang out buddy and Tsunami, Glory, and Starflight appear to tolerate her presence just a bit more afterwards she pretends she isn't confused by the change)

She's pink, white, and blue bc I said so

If you look at a certain angle in the right lighting her eyes, mouth, fire, and under her scales all look purple

But her fire is normally white and blue bc I said so

Also she pale as fuck bc in my canon their fire just sorta burns their colour away

You know how you leave something outside for too long and it gets sunbleached? Where it gets all washed out?

Like that but more extreme

By the age of 10-12 firescale dragons are just white with pale eyes

That's right not even the eyes are safe

Ram horns :P

I'm also fond of Peril/Sunny

Or maybe Peril/Sora/Sunny

But Peril/Sora is the main thing

On the topic of that bringing in my hc that if one sib in a sib group is fire resistant all of them are

She,,, She can change her scale colour

But only slightly and only if her emotions are strong enough

Bc I don't give a fuck about Darkstalker's scroll we were robbed of hybrid Peril

Unfortunately all of Peril's emotions are strong

Rainwing ruff along her head and neck

It's like a hood

It's mainly smoothed to her sides but when she's startled it flares out

RAINWING PUPILS

Y'all will know what those look like as soon as I get off my ass :P

She,,, She can mimic bird cries

Hates the summer

She has more than enough body heat already and the outside is just hot enough to add on and make her feel sick

She can somewhat control her heat but most of the time it's based on her emotions

It can go from standing-in-the-middle-of-a-burning-building-cant-see-your-nose-smoke-is-so-thick heat (Strong emotion) to Hey-thats-a-nice-cozy-campfire heat (Calm/"weak" emotion/Sleeping)

I'm just gonna make a different post with all my Peril hcs cuz there isnt enough room for all of them here

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years ago

Text

GEARBOX THIS IS EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED THAAAAHAHAHAANK YOUUUUU

FUCK OKAY TRAILER BREAKDOWN BECAUSE I AM LOOOOOOSING MY FUCKING MIND OVER THIS TRAILER HOOOOOLY SHIT

POSSIBLE PSOILERS??? MAYBE? GOD DDDDDAYMN WHAT A WAY TO GET BACK INTO THE THEORY SCENE LMAO

SO FIRST OF ALL I’M NOT CERTAIN THIS IS RELATED TO THE BARMAN/SECOND STARS CULT QUEST I FOUND IN THE FILES AS SOME PEOPLE SUGGESTED, BUT I WILL ADMIT IT IS SUSPICIOUSLY SPECIFIC. MAINLY ABOUT A CULT AND THE FACT WE SEE A BAR HANGING OUT IN THE TRAILER, BUT HEY, I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE ASSUMPTIONS RIGHT NOW I AM JUST GOING TO ENJOY THIS WHILE I CAN

ANd breathe in

breathe okay

okay

im okay.

i’ve watched this trailer like 15 times already oh my god it’s so good. i wasnt so hyped about the casino dlc bc, like, i already spoiled myself on it BUT THIS IS (AS FAR AS WE KNOW) UNCHARTED TERRITORY AND

IT’S TECHNICALLY A WATER PLANET

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

okay

i will stop using caps

for the most part

hhhhhhh

okay.

let’s just be calm. i got this

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS THOUGH????

oh ym goD

the fucking lighthouse sent me. i just. i went feral for a solid hour and a half. just wheezing on my test. i fell onto the floor at one point, don’t remember when. it was so fucking good, i couldn’t feel my goddamn hands

;-; its so beautiful i could stare at this all day hhhhhhh

i just

hhhhhhhhhhhh

oh ym godddd ;-;-;-;-;-;-;

it’s so fucking beautiful

i can’t

okay

we see the gun/health station under the lighthouse so it’s not really THAT big, and we can see a town in the distance. running across the ice sheets is giving me HUGE southern shelf vibes which i am in love with. this whole aesthetic is just ;w; so good

there’s a catch a ride in that town as well so we know this area is fairly big (which is confirmed in a later shot)

and oh my GOD can you imagine seeing some big ol beast lurking beneath the surface of the ice sheets hohhhh

MAN

okay sorry im still not oevr this its just so fckign good

inside the belly of the beast rotting Monster and OHHHHHHHHHHH THE IMPLICATION-s of that. of that. im calm.

we get a look at 2 new enemies and mmmmmm we get a better look at them later on so just look how fuckig beautiful thsi area is with its acid that’s probably rotting stomach acid and AAAAAAAA

first close up of the town, giving me really big uhhhh we happy few vibes? which im not complaining about

TENTACLES asdfghj

anywway more toen, bridge looks like like athenas which is DOPE im hype for more athenas-esque architecture

the TOWNss oh my god im so im love with this aesthetic god. damn.it i need this injected directly into my veins like right N O W

also the bridge is going over another pool of acid, which the tentacle is coming out of. i imagine this monster was sorta acid based, which is funny. since. frozen water planet. and it’s OOZY too. oozy boy means the eridians didn’t make this one! ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

hm who’s ready to face the unintended consequences of our actions?! NOT THE ERIDIANS WHOOO BOY (you cannot tlel me that there are mantakores on this planet and not say there was eridian fuckering going on nooOOPE)

also, side note, DIGGING the spike pit under the house on the bottom right. hope we get to explore that bad boy

ALSO

who are you mysterious figure whose cape billows in the wind? are you just part of the environment?? MAYBE

more town

first look at that BEAUITUFL red barrier which OOOOH I WANNA TOUCH SO BADLY

look at it

LOOK AT IT

NOODLE BOWL

EATS??? food place?? im not sure i can’t read, Jared, 19

see s-ar(?)ed??

THAT

THAT IS BEAUTIFUL

doesn’t look like a corporation shield (no corporation gunk lying around either) and we do know red glowy shit is the New Eridian Aesthetic, so im just saying.

it could be a corporation tho, mostly because uhhh later shots

hold up

that’s not uhhhhhhhhhhh

yeah it CAN’T BE lol

cursetown - something something

these red thingies are probably just rotting monster flesh but it does look very similar to the vines on nekrotefeyo

given how worried wainwright looks i imagine him and hammylocks are being coerced into the whole marriage thing in order to complete a ritual

i mean no judgement but that red background is absolutely garrish for a wedding

1. pirate ship??? please??? look at all the mist outside and the wooden bars

god PLEASE can i get a pirate ship. CNA I PLEASE GET A PIRATE SHIP

Captain scarlett wsan’t enoughhhh

2. why the fuck does she have a tail

DJ Midnight performing Saturday: The Dark Mix Deep W???? Hear The Voices (hmmm) and Let The Music Enter You

gee i wonder if this is cultist propaganda

I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE

BUT YOUR TIMING

SUCKS

IIIII AM HERMEAUS MORAAA

no wait wrong game

BUT BRO TENTACLES COMING OUT OF THE MAGIC PORTALS???? UFCKF UEYS THIS FITS PERFECTLY INTO H2O A- i mean, damn haven’t we got enough tentacles from the destroyer?? wow gearbox... heh. hm.

SO I AM WONDERING IF MAYBE THE GREEN UNDER THE BRIDGE AND SUCH ISN’T LIKE CORROSIVE ACID BUT MAYHAPS SOME SORT OF MAGIC SLUDGE COMING OFF THE BIG OL MONSTER BOY THAT THESE CULTISTS ARE HARNESSING TO TAP INTO something. i lost steam. but i mean MAGIC PORTALS

and we all know where teleportation takes us

MANTAKORES!!! WHICH MEANS ERIDIAN INTERVENTION SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE

they seem like fire/ice boys which i absolutely adore

THIS SHOT IS SO COOL OH MY GOD

LIKE I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN IT JUST LOOKS D O P E

WHAT IS THIS??

WHAT IS THIIIS??

CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR JACKET

OH ALSO

I MENTIONED IT IN ANOTHER POST BUT THIS

REMINDS ME A LOT OF THIS

IM SURE THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO CORRELATION BUT I THOUGHTIT WAS FUNNY

ALSO REMEMBER THE BLACK EYES THING I HAVE A WHOLE THINGIE THING IMMA BRING BACK OT IT JUST HOLD TIGHT

THIS SHOT?? OH MY GOD? IT’S LIKE A MOVIE????????? I LOV EI LOVE IT LIV E OT

nND THE WOLFIE BOYS THATTHE ARTICLE MENTIONS

UCKING TENTACLES HFDGDHFGJKH THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL OH MY GOD

HE’ SGOT TENTACLE ARMS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING CHADAM

BRO IM

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AND A GUN THIS MOTHERFUCKER STILL HAS A GUN

WHAT A MAN

MORE TECHONOLOG Y THAT IM SURE PLAYS A ROLE IN THIS SOMEHOW

BEAUTIFUL

WE SLAM THIS DUDE UP AGAINST A WALL SO HARD SHE/HE/THEY (I ASSUME SHE BC WE CAN’T SEE HER FACE AS A COMMON TROPE)

BREAKS THE WINDOW WHICH LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A WINDOW ON SANC-III BUT IM NOT MAKING ANY ASSUMPTIONS

also red SPARKS WHICH REMIND ME OF ERIDIANS AGAIN

also her whole helmet thingie??? very Guardian-like

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS GIVING ME HUGE HECTOR/KEY/PLANT/ERIDIANBULLSHITTERY VIBES THEY EVEN HAVE THE GLOWING SACS OF OOOOOOOZE

which is another point to the “green sludge is magic/connected to their powers somehow” theory. hmmm i hope we mix neon green and eridium purple. purple/green is my favorite color combo. and ugh with the lovecraftian vibes? be still my beating heart!

WINNIE SHOOTING SOMOHE

i fucking LOVE the laces on this shotgun. so fucking pretty omfg

magic circle MAGIC CIRCLE MAGIC CIRCLE

also new chest it looks like

BROO??? HOLY SHIT?????????

JABBER WOLF!! SO FUCKING COOL

THAT SKULL MOUTH IS SO FUCKING DOPE IT LOOKS LIKE TROY’S TATTOO

ohhhhhhHHHHHH THE MOON IS GREEN TOO DON’T DO THI GEARBOX IM GONNA SCREAM IF THERE’S ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE ERIDIUM

THIS SHOT OHHHH

THE BAR LOOKS FUCKING FANTASTIC OH MY GOD

shots SHOT SHOTS SHOT SHOTS HTOSHSTOHSOHTS

dND the MERFOLK TAIL ON THE FAR RIGHT I DON’T GIVE A FUUUCK WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS THAT’S MER TAIL THAT’S A TAIL FUCK U

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YSEY SEYSEYSE BIGGG

THE BARTENDER OHOH

HAVE I MENTIONED THE GIANT FUCKING MUSHROOMS BTW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM GETTTING SUCH DRAGONBORN DLC VIBES I LOVE IT

SWEETFRUIT VILLAGE BTW THAT’S IMPORTANT

YOU ALLL LOOK SO FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD

the bartender!!!! his glasses!! AND THE VOICE MODULATOR???

the netch looking boys are called

slithercresses btw and THEY LOOK STUNNING

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NEW RED CHESTS??? LOOK ERIDIAN TO ME

WHICH MIGHT MEAN------

ALSO THE DIMENSIONAL TRANSFER PROGRAM ON SANC-III WHERE BBY BOY MAUREICE MAKES US A PORTAL TO HELL??? WHICH GREEN OOZE WHICH IS “HECKTOPLASM” BUT MAYBE ACTUALLY N O T

THE STAR OF THE SHOW BABY GIRL GAIGE WHO’SACTUALLY OLDER THAN ME NOW FUUUUUUUUCK

YOU’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL II LOVE YOUR NEW GOGGLES

H??????????????

POSSIBLE NEW PSYCHOMASK UNLESS HE’S JUST GROWING THOSE BONE HORNS IN WHICH CASE YOU GO MAN IM PROUD OF YOU

TENTACLE GUNNNNNN WHICH BETTER LPAY A PART ERIRDIANS YOU FUCKS

THIS PLACE IS WHY I THINK THIS MIGHT BE RELATED TO S O M E CORPORAITON? BUT THEN AGAIN IT MAY JSUT BE THE CULT HEADQUARTERS OR WHATEVER, THAT RED BUBBLED MANSION LOOKS P HQ

FOOD CARTS AND ALSO WHATEVERS IN THAT SWINGING BAG LOOKS LIKE BONES HELL YEAH

this this THIS THIS THIS THIS WHAT IS THIS A NEW CIRCL E OF SLAUGHTEr? ERIDIAN???

THEYRE PUMPING SOMETHING INTO/OUT OF THE CORPSE!!!!!!! ALSO

mutaTED FEET

[something] world! with a skull symbol on the side

both green btw

god YES I LOVE GREEN AND PURPLE IM SO HAPPY

SAILOF HOLE

hammylocks helping us with a fight by some bones and more wolfie boys!!!! i love these little dudes

FIRE MUTATED SLUGS AAAAAAAAA THEYRE SO COOL

ns tHEY CUR L UP INTO BALLS AND ROLL AT YOU LIKE KRAGGONS

AND I WONDER HOW THE SLUGS MUTATED IS IT POSSIBLY THE G R E E EN?

AND THEIR SHELLS LIKE SUCC UP LAVA?????????????

THESE BRAIN-Y BOYS

SO BLUE I LOVE THEM

AND MORE GREEN MIST BY THE WAY OWOWOWOWOWO

another look at a baddie with STUDS THIS TIME

A MAGIC WARLOCK TYPE BADDIE THIS TIME AND HE SUMMONS A STAFF AND ALSO I THINK THAT’S ERIDIUM CANNISTER BEHIND HIM

AND IT HAS SIMMILAR TENTACLESTO THE GUNS DO YOU THINK WE’RE FINALLY GOING TO GET ANA NSWER ASA TO WHY OUR GUNS ARE A L I V E

MORE SNAIL DUDES AND THE GREEN STUFF IN THE BACKGROUND M A N I LOVE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA SNAILS

OOOOOZE

BACK AT IT AGAIN IN MY CYCLONES

GREEN FUCKING PUDDLES

B O N E S FUCKING I HOPE THIS EXPLAINS HOW THE SKAGS ON PANDORA GOT SO FUCKIN LARGGO OUTSIDE OF JUST ‘YEAH THE SEASONS’

this

THIS

ONE

THIS LOOKS LIKE A SAURIAN THE ARMORED ONES THE BASHY ARMORED ONES THAT START WITH ‘C’

TWO THAT GUN IS KICKASS

IT’S GLOWING G R E E N AND IT HAS ***THE TENTACLE BARREL***

OHHHH IM SO READY FOR AN EXPLANATION GEARBO X PL E ASE

GIVE IT TO ME

ALSO THIS

IM EXCITED ABOUT

PROBABLY RELATED TO SWEETFRUIT VILLAGE BC THE MUSHROOMS MAYBE THEY USE IT TO MAKE BOOZE MUSHROOM BOOZE EW

WHY IS HE GRAY?????? HE’S NOT WEARING A JACKET MAYBE HES CRYO-FLAVORED

more sluggus THESE ARE GREEN FLAVORED :O

also, side note

PLEASE TLEL ME THIS WAS INTENTIONAL GEARBOX

LEMME SLAP BLANE’S ASS

YOU *GUYS* PLEASE

BUBBLE MANSION??? GREEN OOZY VILLAIN THAT GOT SLMAMED INTO A WALL??? BABY BABY GIRL

THE R E D

and she’s USING A TENTACLE GUN TOO

THAT’S GOTTA MEAN SOMETHING RIGHT

hhhhhhHHHHH

also ther’e sa fridge on the left lol

also the consoles look similar to that one shot with zane which is why i believe this is part of that bubbled-y mansion.

YES ES YES YES YES YESY SYEYSE

I WANNA RIDE THE SKY TRAM SO BAD PLEASE

I WANNA REENACT UNTIL DAWN

I HAVE A MIGHTY NEEEEEEED

ALSO NOTE THE EYES

AND THE PURPLE HOW IT LOOKS LIKE AN ERIDIUM PURPLE

ANYWAY I HA[VE TO GO EAT FOOD NOW BUT GO LOOK AT THIS LINKN

I LOOKED UP THE NAME OF THE PLANET AND MYTHOLOGY AND NOTHING CAME UP, BUT GOOGLE RECOMMENDED ME

T H I S

https://pantheon.org/articles/l/lycurgus.html

AND MAN OH MAN

“FAMOUS FOR HIS PERSECUTION OF DIONYSUS” THE GOD OF P A R T I E S LIKE IDK A WEDDING PARTY, WHICH FORCED YA MAIN MAN DIONYSUS TO <JUMP INTO THE OCEAN> WHICH COULD HAVE SOME RELATION TO THE TENTACLES

OH AND ALSO LYCURGUS WAS THEN <<<BLINDED>>> WHICH COULD PLAY A PART IN THE BLACK OOZY EYES EVERYONE HAS

DIONYSUS ALSO ENDS UP PUNISHING LYCURGUS WITH MADASS AND WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT RELATES

OKAY BYE

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #borderlands spoilers #IM SORRY I POSTED THIS EARLY IT WAS ANA CCIDENCT

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weaselle · 4 years ago

Note

I’m not done, actually, because they in the weaselle family and I can’t not.

Badgers are in the weasel family right along with otters, mink, ermine, stoats, and honey badgers (tho, interestingly, the honey badger is not in fact a badger).

So firstly, to address the q in the op directly, let’s look at what happens when a coyote decides to tackle the much smaller cousin of the badger, a mink (skip to 30 seconds in)

youtube

okay, so, that mink idk which species it is off the top of my head but it weighs pretty close to two pounds. Three and a half pounds if it’s huge for a mink. An american badger averages 20 lbs. So imagine how the above would have gone if the mink was ten times larger. And twice as mean (and mink are already vicious).

I have seen footage of TWO large coyotes making a try for an american badger, and they even get him in their mouths from either end and try to tug-a-war him, but they can’t actually injure him much because his hide is too thick and loose. One coyote takes a strong hit and gives up and the other thinks about it for 20 seconds and in that time (i swear to all gods it only took literally 20 seconds on the video) that badger dug himself some damn fortifications: a tunnel in the icy dirt that he could retreat out of reach into, or threaten with his teeth from the entrance while the rest of him was under cover. He stuck his head out and let the coyote realize his new position, then he came slowly out and stalked toward the coyote until the coyote’s nerve broke and it ran, and that badger scored one final bite on its ass.

Altho it is worth noting, in case anyone reading this was unaware, american badgers and coyotes have been observed in cooperative hunting, as in teaming up to hunt together, which I assume was the context of the implied exchange in the op.

I keep saying american badger because that’s what is pictured, and that is what is likely to interact with a coyote.

European badgers are like the very polite cousin of the american badger. The european badger lives in communal burrows where they dig a separate bathroom to use, and they eat a lot of earthworms and tubers and some lizards or whatever. Civilized.

American badgers live alone in burrows they’ve taken over by murdering and eating the previous occupant, and they eat literally anything they can bite enough times to kill. They will bury an entire cow carcass to save it for later.

Like, please do not mess with a european badger, they are still weasels and not to be trifled with, but oh my goodness what a demon the american badger is.

And whatever ancient weasel evolved into the american badger also went up north and became the wolverine.

And if you want to know what a wolverine is like, you should know three things.

One: this is the live trap biologists use to tag and study wolverines. Only you don’t really trap a wolverine with this, more like inconvenience it; once set, biologists have to check it often. That’s because when a wolverine digs it digs in frozen earth and when it eats a goat or an elk, it eats all the bones, hooves and horns — their claws and teeth will just saw right through that wood.

Two: They can dig into the frozen earth like I can dig in sand. They can climb a tree as fast as I can run. And they’re much better swimmers than I am. Btw I love climbing trees and I was on the competitive swim team in school. Oh, and while they can’t fly, they have been known to hunt and eat eagles. Nowhere is safe.

Three:

though it is extremely rare, wolverines have been observed killing both grizzly bears and adult moose.

they hunt alone or sometimes in pairs and are this size

which is terrifyingly large for a weasel, but SO small compared to moose and brown bears. And yet they can and will murder those animals. r.

wolverine

american badger

I bring up the wolverine because, a case can be made that an american badger is to a wolverine what a coyote is to a grey wolf. And wolverines have been known to kill and eat wolves.

So yeah, badgers and coyotes actually make great hunting partners and sometimes cooperate, and otherwise tend to leave each other alone, but if it came down to a 1v1 coyote vs badger… either the coyote runs away or the badger takes it out.

Oh and, one very last important point

this is my dog, whose name is Badger, and who is the same general size and shape as a coyote

How come a badger would fuck up a coyote

you wouldn’t necessarily clock this from just looking at one, but all species of badger are basically just little fucked-up biological TANKS with hearts full of murder.

adorable murder.

to start with, badger skin is so tough that it can resist most attempts by other predators to bite through it, and is also very loose so that even if it’s grabbed by a larger creature, the badger can still turn around and bring its own claws and teeth into the situation!

which is very bad.

and on top of this, badgers are STUPID strong and ridiculously hardy- badgers can shrug off just about any injury that doesn’t kill them outright and will immediately seek retribution by attempting to open you up with those big ol claws like a can of beans being fed into an industrial shredder.

badgers can even 1v1 fucking BEARS and walk off without a scratch, they’re that op.

no, I was not kidding.

the coyote, a fragile creature built for speed and maneuverability, would stand NO chance if it tried to start shit with the badger, and they both know it.

#science and nature #weasels #badgers

26K notes · View notes

emptypokedex-blog · 8 years ago

Note

hi so i'm trash and i was scrolling down your blog and i saw the homestuck au and i want to draw art of it so do you have any like, references or ideas as to how everyone looks? like, horn shapes, symbols, outfits, etc? or are they just like the same from the manga? sorry for bothering you btw

2: hi, specialstuck anon again. any ideas for like their online handles and ancestors? sorry about bothering you about this bc i just realized that your posts about that au was from like months ago and idk if you care about it anymore i’m so sorry

Hello! I’m sorry for not responding. I’ve just been a shitty blog-runner, and haven’t been here. This ask makes me really happy because I honestly still like Homestuck and genuinely think its well written. I was really into classpect assignments back in the day, so this was a fun little project.

I didn’t post about it because I didn’t think anyone liked it, but here you are, proving me wrong-ish!

AND OH MY GOD YES, I LOVE WHEN ASK TO DRAW ART OF MY IDEA!Don’t worry nonster, you’re not bothering me at all! I’ve literally done nothing over the summer.

I’ll post the pictures separately too just so you can zoom in.

I’m putting a cut because this got longer than expected.

Okay, so I had a guide with all of their horns and symbols, buuuuuut…I lost it. So, special for you, I made a new, updated one! My hand was cramping so bad after this. I would scan it, but I don’t trust my printer/scanner right now, because last time I used it, it completely crumpled my drawing (its the kind that eats the paper and scans it)

BTW I changed some stuff.

In terms of online handles, I dunno. Those are haaard. Ancestors, ignoring the sexes of the characters, would be the character’s parent of the same gender, unless there is only one parent, or if the character has no known parents or no living parents, they would be a sibling. If there are no siblings belonging to that character (Emerald, Red, probably someone else I’m forgetting), they would be a fictional character or OC or someone else from the canon that has some sort of familial or social relationship to the character. So for Silver it’d be Giovanni, Sapphire has Birch, Ruby has Norman, Crystal and her Mother, Green could either have Oak or Daisy. Yellow’s could be her Uncle. And so on.

Clothes would probably be the same, except for the trolls, all their shirts would be black instead of the color they normally are and for the humans all their shirts would be white.

In terms of Lusi (Lususes?) for the trolls, their starts fully evolved forms would be them. So, like, Swampert would be Ruby’s Mudbeast Lusus or Meganium would be Crystal’s Neckbeast Lusus. The same for the humans’ consorts, except in that case, they be the unevolved versions.

Gonna get my caveats out of the way now, I wanted to stick to the ‘one-of-each’ format Homestuck has going on while adhering to the gender-roles, so, at the end, some characters were left with God Tiers that didn’t really fit them *coughsilvercough* So, for those characters, I’ll provide what they were left with and the alternate I would have preferred. The hardest was finding a Breath player. Only the humans had repeats of the trolls.

(Top: Gold, Silver, Crystal Bottom: Pearl, Diamond, Platinum)

Gold: Knight of Blood, Land of Sap and Bells, CueKind, Non-Psionic Yellow-Blood, Prospit.

I forgot why I designed Gold’s horns the way I did. I think it had something to do with resembling his hair. His symbol is the logo for HeartGold.

Gold is a character who’s arc is about feeling inferior to his friends and overcompensating. When he finds out that he didn’t have a title, it broke his heart. The Knight class experiences change and growth throughout the game, and the Blood aspect is about platonic relationships and bonds. Come to think of it, I think Gold could also pass for a Page.

I can see Gold being on the characters who starts one of the teams and competitively tries to get the people he wants to join his team.

Silver: Rogue of Breath*, Land of Dust and Masks, IcePickKind, Non-Psychic Rust-Blood, Derse.

*Not only could I not figure out what Silver would be, but he was also the one to get the most out of character God Tier. I can see him as a destructive class, like Prince of Blood, but both that class and aspect have been taken. I am very unhappy with the result.

I had so much trouble drawing Silver’s hair, that I ended up putting it in a ponytail, but, let’s admit it, we all need for more of that. His horns are supposed to look like an ‘R’ when put together, so one is curved and the other has a hook on the end. They’re asymmetrical. I know its hard to see, but they are. His symbol is supposed to be the logo for SoulSilver.

I refuse to explain Rogue of Breath because there is nothing to explain. Rufioh, in canon, is a Rogue of Breath and these characters have nothing in common. A Rogue of Breath would steal Breath – or Direction – for the benefit of others and I genuinely cannot make this work. So, instead, I’ll explain Prince of Blood. Prince is a destructive class that destroys with the aspect, in this case Blood, or bonds. Prince can also be one who destroys the aspect. So, Silver destroying past bonds he no longer wants.

Silver would befriend Blue over the chat, become fascinated by the concept of siblings and request to be Blue’s sister (cause she was explaining it in terms of being his unrelated sister), to which she’d agree for him to be considered her brother.

Crystal: Thief of Doom, Land of Wheels and Flood, FootKind/ShoeKind, Non-Psychic Teal-Blood, Prospit.

One of Crystal’s horns is supposed to be straight, only curving at the end, and the other one has a star on the tip. Her symbol is, surprise surprise, a Star.

I know what you’re thinking. Thief of Doom? Crystal? No Way! Well, I’m gonna explain. Thieves take the aspect to benefit themselves, and the concept of Doom ranges from just a simple burden to death itself to complete planetary destruction. In the Pokespe canon, Crystal was hired to complete a job Green and Red failed to finish, and she was happy to do it. This makes me think that Crystal is willing to take on certain burdens that coincide with her interest, something a Thief of Doom would certainly do.

Potentially the other team leader, maybe the only one who thinks this is an awful idea. Begrudgingly agrees.

Pearl: Seer of Space*, Land of Peaks and Frogs, FanKind, Slightly-Psychic Brown-Blood, Derse.

*Could have been either a Seer of Space or a Mage of Space, but Seer fit his behavior more.

Pearl’s horns are supposed to look like the antenna and tail of a Chatot, so the one behind his hair resembles a music note (see Chatot for reference) while the other one just has a ball on it. I think I’ve seen his horns drawn like this before by other artists, so I don’t think this is the most original decision, but I still really like it. His symbol is a Circle/Pearl.

One of the most important parts of a Seer is their ability to observe. This is why it was so hard to me to pick between Black and Pearl when it came to choosing a Seer. However, because I wanted Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum to be Time, Space, and Void no matter what, Pearl got the honor. A Seer of Space observes Space and exists in the present moment. They may also oversee or take charge and are creative types.

Pearl’s weapon is FanKind because he picked it when he was young and practiced in the art of fan-to-fan compensate.

Diamond: Heir of Time*, Land of Fruit and Geysers, LadleKind, Non-Psychic Cobalt-Blood, Prospit.

*I originally listed him as a Page of Time, but changed it after giving Wally the role of Page. Either works for him.

Dia’s horns are supposed to look non-threatening, so they are wide and not very sharp. They’re kinda Munchlax-esque. His symbol is a Diamond.

When picking between Heir and Page, I went with Heir because Wally took Page Diamond has a sense of time from the beginning. Heirs become their aspect in one way or another, hence why they’re called ‘Heirs,’ and Diamond has such a grasp on his flow of time (not to mention his major-legendary equivalent being Diamond), that I see this working. If he were a Page, which would also have been good, it’d mirror his rise against Pearl is the DP chapter.

Diamond makes food puns constantly in chat and there is no way of stopping him.

Platinum: Sylph of Void*, Land of Snow and Tomes, UmbrellaKind, Non-Psychic Violet-Blood, Derse.

*To be honest, a lot of the female-based classes in the Void aspect fit her character, except Witch.

Platz horns should look like the faceplate of an Empoleon. Same situation as Pearl, I think I’ve seen this done elsewhere my multiple artists. Her symbol is the Berlitz family sigil.

Void is nothingness. Pretty much any class enacting Void is lacking something, since Void is the lack of anything. As a Sylph of Void, one could create Void because Sylph is a creative class, and Platinum does this in a social sense by ignoring the claims of other people and acting as though they never happened. In terms of her behavior in early chapters of the DP chapter, she also acts as though she isn’t supposed to emote.

She will never admit she is friends with a lowblood.

(Top: Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald Bottom: Black, White, Wally)

Ruby: Prince of Light, Land of Mirrors and Silk, NeedleKind, Non-Psychic Rust-Blood, Derse.

I exaggerated Ruby’s scar a bit for this. The horn on the side of his face with the scar is broken, but both of his horns used to be symmetrical. They’re supposed to look like the antennae of a Milotic. His symbol is the pattern on Groudon’s arm.

A Prince of Light would destroy knowledge, which, at first, sounds very out of a character for Ruby. But knowledge doesn’t only apply to books and science. Instead, is refers to anything known. Considering how Ruby acts at the end of the RS chapter, throughout the Emerald chapter, and again in the ORAS chapter, where is constantly pretends as though the confession never happened and lies about a variety of things, actively destroying what people know, I think this is the most fitting God Tier I’ve provided. Ruby is also a character I can definitely imagine playing the role of minor-villain at some point.

He’s super salty about not only being the lowest of bloods, but not having any psychic powers to compensate.

Sapphire: Witch of Rage*, Land of Thorns and Thunderstorms, ClawKind, Non-Psychic Indigo-Blood, Prospit.

*Would rather have Maid of Rage, but White fit the Maid role better for multiple other aspects. Witch was all that was left.

Sapph’s horns resemble Gamzee’s, but are thicker and less curvy. They’re just supposed to look wild and are not based on anything. Her symbol is the pattern on Kyogre’s flipper.

As much as Maid of Rage fit, I had to give her Witch of Rage, which, in actuality, would probably belong to an incredibly unstable person. Witch’s have completely control to manipulate their aspect while also fully embodying that aspect, and when that aspect is Rage, chances are that person isn’t to in a safe psychological place. Maids, on the other hand, start by relying on other people for their aspect and where to enact it before learning on their own to use it as they please. Sapphire would have gone through this change twice: once when she was younger and changed when Ruby was hurt and she realize she couldn’t that girly anymore, directing her Rage towards her younger self and/or people like that, and again when she changes in the RS chapter and compromises.

Sapphire leaves animal pelts at Ruby’s doorstep to make stuff out of. She brings most of the meat to Dia and feeds the rest of it to her eggbeast lusus.

Emerald: Bard of Mind*, Land of Dunes and Towers, PistolKind, Non-Psychic Olive-Blood, Derse.

*Couldn’t for the life of me figure out what this kid was. Rald

I used his current design because I couldn’t draw his croissant-hair. You’ve probably already guessed it, but his horns are based on his eyebrows. His symbol is the pattern on the head of Rayquaza.

Again, same as Silver, I’m not going to explain it. But for Rald, I just don’t have anything else to say. I’ll put it simply: I don’t think Rald is a destructive player (in fact, he might be a manipulative player), but I’m out of stuff and I’m stumped.

Immediately joined Crystal’s team without a second thought and before knowing what the heck they were doing.

Black: Mage of Hope*, Land of Kaleidoscopes and Skyscrapers, RockKind, Powerful-Psychic Brown-Blood, Prospit.

*Seer of Hope was also an option, but it is taken by Pearl. They both make great Seers.

Hexagon. Everything about Black is based on hexagons here. Horns and Symbol. Put his horns together and you get a hexagon.

Mages fully experience their aspect at some point. Admittedly, a Mage of Hope would be naive and maybe a bit too hopeful, but Hope is definitely something Black has a lot of, even up until the end (y’knoow, up until he became a rock). A Mage of Hope would be dedicated to making it to their goal because they would genuinely believe that they’d get there, a la Black when he wants to become a pokemon master.

Sees the world in hexagons a lot like he does with Musha on his head.

White: Maid of Heart*, Land of Roots and Carnivals, WhipKind, Non-Psychic Cobalt-Blood, Derse.

*I also really liked Maid of Hope for her.

Y’know White’s hair-antennae? They’re her horns now. They’re close together and bend back over hear head, not outward. I didn’t know what Symbol to give her, so I just made it a box.

Heart and Blood are very similar in that they’re both about relationships, but Heart is more about the impact of those relationships. A Maid of Heart starts by relying on someone else for their relationships and enjoyment, but would eventually come to do it on their own. If anything, regardless of aspect, White is definitely a Maid.

Had Black sign a contract that ensured he would join the same team that she was on.

Wally: Page of Life, Land of Pumps and Corridors, PumpKind, Non-Psychic Teal-Blood, Prospit.

Wally’s horns are tiny because I felt someone like wally wouldn’t have especially large or threatening horns. His Symbol is the pattern on the face of a Kecleon.

Wally was hard, but I eventually settled on Page of Life. Pages and Maids are very similar in my eyes, because they are both classes based around personal growth. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that Pages were the male equivalent to the female Maid. A Page of Life would lack Life in the beginning, which would manifest itself in physical or emotional health. As a Page, he’d grow in health, perhaps to the point of overdoing it. I think this God Tier mirrors his subplot pretty well.

Blindly follows Ruby around where ever he goes.

(Red, Yellow, Blue, Green)

Red: Heir of Blood, Land of Rivers and Lightning, BallKind, Prospit, Consort: Bulbasaur.

I FORGOT HOW TO DRAW RED’S HAIR! His Icon is a Pokeball.

Heirs have a need for their aspect, and one thing Red really enjoys is his pokemon and having a group friends, and even protecting people/showing off to neighborhood kids. As an Heir of Blood, Red would need to embody the Blood aspect and pretty much be the connecting force between the other characters. I picked this because he essentially started the series and, as the first character, I interpret him as the driving for keeping older characters together. Heirs also have a natural talent for their aspect, and I think the term ‘natural talent‘ in general is a decent description of Red. Plus, he’s really good at making friends.

Yellow: Sylph of Life, Land of Keys and Ink, RodKind, Prospit, Consort: Can a Snake be a Consort? ‘Cause I’m thinking Ekans.

Her Icon is a Lightning Bold (Also could have done a feather.)

I mean, come on. Like I said before, Sylphs are a creative class and Life is synonymous with health, and, therefore, a Sylph of Life creates health. Naturally, Yellow would be the teams healer. She could probably bring things back to life or give like to inanimate things by creating Life itself.

Blue: Thief of Space, Land of Coins and Frogs, CrowbarKind, Derse, Consort: Squirtle.

(Oops, she looks like an axolotl) Her Icon is a Mask.

A Thief of Space would steal Space for their own benefit. Blue would probably use this by stealing size from one object and applying it to herself or transferring size between things, switching the location of herself and something else or the locations of two items. It’s be great for stealing from other people.

Green: Prince of Time, Land of Fog and Beats, FistKind, Derse, Consort: Charmander.

His Icon isn’t a pomegranate seed, it’s supposed to look like his pendant, but I can understand the confusion.

Prince is a destructive class, so Green would be destroying with Time. As a result, a Prince of Time would be impatient and easily annoyed and unable to cope with the passage of time. Some of these aspects match Green at an early age. As we known, baby Green had a lot of trouble with patience. They’d be stubborn and have trouble listening to others. This pairs well with early-Green. Current-Green is a lot calmer and smarter that he used to be.

If I didn’t feel the need to have one of each, the cast would look like this (In the same order as all of the above):

Knight of Blood, Prince of Blood, Thief of Doom, Seer of Space, Page/Heir of Space, Sylph of Void, Prince of Light, Maid of Rage, (Whatever Emerald would be), Seer/Mage of Hope, Maid of Hope, Page of Life. (Minus the Humans)

#thank you nonny #pokespe #pokespe au #specialstuck #au #homestuck au

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esselley · 8 years ago

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Can't wait for the next update of the wasteland AU! Also I know you probs have your inbox full of writing suggestions so instead of giving you suggestions, I thought I'd just share some Kagehina AUs that my friend and I enjoy talking about that hopefully make you as happy to think about as they make us,, -ella enchanted -beauty and the beast -mad max (kind of like the wasteland au lol) -stranger things -just a general superhero au That's it lol, have a great night!!

LISTEN – sorry to ignore the rest of this ask (ty for loving Wasteland though <333 these are all good ideas MAD MAX AU!!!) but I just watched Beauty and the Beast with @ellessey-writes and I’m COMPROMISED. Siiiince it would be a bad idea for me to start another fic rn, have… whatever this is

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful castle and a handsome prince King, who liked to spend his days holding the finest volleyball tournaments in all the land. He was an incredible setter, but demanded the highest level of athletics from those who attended his tournaments.

One tournament, a spiker appeared suddenly in the midst of the dark and rainy night, looking for shelter. Though he brought a volleyball as a gift, this spiker wasn’t up to the king’s standards and couldn’t hit his tosses, and the King had him thrown from the castle.

But the spiker turned out to be a Magical Turniphead, and for the King’s cruelty, he cast a spell upon him and the entirety of his castle, turning the King into a monstrous beast and all his servants into furniture (instead of like, smaller beasts or something? The servants got totally screwed in this deal, you guys, at least Beast still had hands) that they may be forgotten from the minds of the town and all those who lived in it, unless the King one day found a spiker who could hit his impossible quicks – and fall in love with him along the way.

If he could not do so before the last spot on the Turniphead’s magical volleyball turned completely black, he, and his castle, and all those who lived in it would be cursed, forevermore.

And so they waited, as the Beast King’s heart turned forever colder.

Okay gonna stop narrating there bUT CONSIDER:

town weirdo Hinata, the shorty spiker who is always practicing off by himself and insists HE CAN JUMP – he really is a funny boy, a cutie but a funny boy, he really is a funny boyyyyyyyyyyyy, THAT SHOUUUUU

Asahi as Maurice, the timid inventor who shuts himself away from the town that finds him too strange

Bokuto as Gaston, he’s actually REALLY NICE and just wants Hinata to be his loyal pupil but Hinata wants to be THE GREATEST ACE sorry Bokuto-senpai, but he’s gotta surpass you, bye

Bokuto goes into sad slumps over his lack of pupil-ship a lot and Akaashi has to break into so many musical numbers about how great Bokuto is to pull him out of it

One day Asahi ventures into the forest and gets lost and stumbles upon the Volleyball Castle, where he attempts to grab one of the shiny, brand new volleyballs lying about the court(yard) to replace Hinata’s wonky, worn out old one

Beast Kageyama f l i p s out and imprisons him (he needs to chill)

Kageyama still looks normal btw, but maybe he’s got horns and a tail and cute ears stop looking at me like that don’t judge me

Hinata comes to Asahi’s rescue and trades places with him, immediately cannot stand this asshole Beast

But he does get to eat a lot of good food, courtesy of Oikawa the candelabra and Suga the teapot (feat. Iwaizumi as Cogsworth and Noya as Chip)

When he goes to the forbidden wing of the castle and discovers the magical volleyball, Beast flies into a rage and calls him a dumbass and so Hinata LEAVES

but he gets attacked by wolves and Kageyama saves him, so Hinata reluctantly drags him back to the castle to tend to his wounds and notice his rockin’ bod

Also, he wonders, why does everyone call Kageyama the Beast, and why does he hide in his castle all the time? Like, yes, there’s some beastly factors but he’s really pretty normal looking otherwise

Oikandle is like “Smile, Tobio-chan” so he does, and Hinata is like “oh, I see why, please stop smiling”

After typing Oikandle, I belatedly realized that Suga could make sure the tea always has enough SUGA-R god i’m sorry ok moving along

After the mutual life-saving, Hinata and Kageyama begin to BOND and Kageyama finds out about the way Hinata always has to practice volleyball in hallways and by himself, so he shows him HIS ROYAL VOLLEYBALL STADIUM

Hinata is beside himself, it’s so big and fancy and GWAAAAHHHHH smells like air salonpas, this is the Real Deal

And so they continue to get closer, though Kageyama won’t practice with him… because he just doesn’t think it’s possible that anyone could ever spike his toss, and he doesn’t want to allow himself to hope

But then one night he asks Hinata if they can play together, and they meet in the royal court

Hinata is wearing a beautiful golden uniform and shining as bright as the sun and Suga is singing “Tale as old as time…”

Kageyama is so in love that he can’t help himself, he tosses, his old king’s toss that no one could ever hit and everything is beautiful

and HINATA SPIKES HIS TOSS

And he’s loved Kageyama as well, ever since Kageyama showed him his volleyball courts instead of telling him he’d never be good enough

They kiss!!!

And all the castle and its inhabitants and Kageyama go back to the way they were because the curse has been broken!!!

Hinata is a little bit sad because maybe he liked Kageyama’s cute fuzzy ears a little bit

but then Kageyama smiles a real, actual smile at him and he decides he can live w/o the ears

Bokuto gives his blessing upon the couple because he’s a sweetheart

And from then onward, they all lived, and played volleyball together, happily ever after

THE END

#kagehina #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio #anonymous #esselle replies #BATB au #i didn't... mean for this to happen #haikyuu!!#long post

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