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ok wait writing that abt sugar daddy sungho had me thinking abt sex w prof sungho in the backseat of his car after u finally do well on a test!!! ure straddling him and heās praising u so well as u ride him n then he slyly lowers the window a bit so anyone who passes by knows what yall r doing š©š©š©š©
a/n: this is insane /pos contains: dom!sungho x sub!reader, professor!sungho, public sex (in his car, windows open), riding, penetration (p in v), praising
your legs feels weak and tired from riding sungho for a while now, but itās only barely been a couple minutes since he situated you right between his legs in the backseat of his car. the parking lot is fairly empty with a few stragglers here and there, but you still feel nervous when someone walks by a bit too close. āfocus on me sweetheart, iām the one your pretty pussy is swallowing whole right now. doing so well for me just like you did on your exam.ā he stays completely still, a hand on your waist to guide you, but nothing too tight since he wants you to ride him yourself. itās your reward for scoring so well after all, so the least he can do is let you use his dick for your pleasure.
his glasses stay perched on his nose bridge, and your hands clench onto his shoulders. constant praises from your professorās lips fall off and roll right into your ears as you bounce on him. thereās barely enough room, and you get so tired as you hunch and fall onto his chest barely continuing. āy/n, did i tell you to stop?ā you shake your head against his shirt, lifting your ass to fall back down again at his stern voice. the wet sounds harmonized with your whimpers against him, hearing his rapid heartbeat as your ears focused in on it. you could barely hear the windows roll down, and before you could ask, sunghoās hands held your waist tight as he thrusted up into you. your hand flew to your mouth to stay quiet, but it was so hard as he fucked you like heās been waiting for this moment, trying to blow off some steam before he had to rush back out for his next class. you shouldnāt even be here, and yet heās risking so much while not caring who saw the scene happening. your moans muffled out, screams of his name and any sounds you made escaping your throat. it was his goal though at the end, to have you screaming for him, to show that youāre his now, and that nobody else can have you the way he does.
#ilysungho#ilysh hard hours#ilysh sungho#ilysh asks#ilysh loves#boynextdoor#bnd x reader#bnd#boynextdoor x reader#boynextdoor hard hours#boynextdoor hard thoughts#boynextdoor smut#bnd hard thoughts#bnd hard hours#boynextdoor sungho#sungho hard thoughts#sungho boynextdoor#park sungho#sungho x reader#sungho#sungho smut#bnd sungho#sungho bnd#sungho hard hours
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Speaking of Toby, dick, and ridingā¦.
Isnāt Toby bi? If sooooo⦠Whatās his fav position when heās takin dick (or gettin pegged, I donāt judge)? Is he a top, bottom, or switch?
Also! TicciJack question!
I remember one time you said that Toby would wanna ride that demon cock just to see what the hype was about⦠did he like it? Did he get it?
Sorry for the long ask, I am just thirsty for this man but, alas, I am a dick-haver and I would like to know if I could dom this man.
heās switch šāāļøšāāļø BUTTTTTT
ok like, for his first few times with men heās probably going to insist on being on top. refuses to take it up the ass. itās a mixture of a whole bunch of fuckshit going on in his brain, all of which being direct results of some of the scathing remarks his father used to make. (fragile masculinity, internalized homophobia, general self esteem issues). his dad would say a lot of shit like āwhys your hair so long? what are you, a f*g?ā so toby was like very adverse to exploring his sexuality like AT ALL. #1 out of fear of what would happen if he was found out, and #2 out of shame that heād be proving his dad right.
LOTS of shit to unpack with this boy. Iām thinking he probably avoiding dabbling at all for the longest time until he got high, kissed one of his friends, and went āuh oh.ā
so yes, you COULD dom him, but itās going to take a lot of work, patience, and understanding. heās curious and willing, but all of that is shoved deep deep down under layers of self loathing. he plays up a facade of fake self confidence, but on the inside heās really just a fragile dude. youāve got to break down his walls first. show him that itās really okay to just let all of that self doubt go. make him believe that putting trust in someone else is worth it.
ok. now that weāve got the emotional stuff out of the way - favourite position? plain old missionary when heās the one receiving. heās a clinger, and a big baby, so he really just wants to be as close to you as possible when youāve got him so vulnerable. arms wrapped around your shoulders, ankles locked around your back, not satisfied unless youāre chest to chest. He wants as much skin to skin contact as possible. Heād have his face shoved into the crook of your neck, fuckin drooling all over your skin and sniffling between broken moans.
absolute cutie patootie. doggy is also good too though. heāll probably go brain dead and see stars, not expecting that you feel so much deeper this way. will go non verbal on the dick for SURE.
and last but not least from my little ticcijack saga - did jack and toby bone? yes. šāāļøšāāļø simply too much sexual tension for them not to. Jack played it like a game, knowing how repressed Toby was, and knowing how tough he was to crack. He was patient with it, which was all made worth it when he finally got the brunette beneath him. and yes, toby liked it. a lot. #1 because that demon dick is just something else, and #2 because Jackās a lot bigger than him. Can manhandle the FUCK out of him - something that Toby was not aware heād be into until it happened
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Karel/Mark/Volke under the cut hehe
SFW questions-
Do they have petnames/nicknames for each other? Is there a reason why not, or a reason they picked what they did? Mark doesn't do petnames much at all, but Karel took up calling them "lovely" towards the end of the war, out of an accidental almost-love-confession, and it stuck. Volke? He started off calling Mark "sweetheart" as a joke. It quickly wasn't a joke anymore. And Karel and Volke both have a habit of referring to each other as "that man" when referencing one another in conversation... It was somewhat petty at first, and now, it isn't, it's quite affectionate. ... It isn't a petname, but Volke will playfully call Mark a bitch to their face and they're not only ok with this but both into this.
Who cooks? What's their favorite thing to cook? Look at these three. None of them can cook. No, I'm kidding, Karel can cook - he does impressive things with meats. And if you got them into a decent kitchen, Mark can cook, but doesn't like to. They're actually really good at desserts. Something if they ever bothered to try, they'd find out that Volke likes quite a lot. Him? He does not cook. He makes really good coffee and tea, though. Great with getting the water temperature just right to bring out the flavors.
Is there something one of them is quite bad at cooking? Do they get better? Volke tried breakfast once and did not improve, he instead paid someone to do it better. Mark... certainly did try to make soup once for Karel back in Elibe and it came out... You know the scene in LOTR where Eowyn makes soup for Aragorn? Like so. They actually did work on it, can now make a nice, passable stew.
Are they ok with PDA? What counts as public to them? Are there levels? Despite being so touchy-feely in private, Volke doesn't initiate much affection in public, though, his definition of public is... questionable. He likes semi-public shenanigans quite a lot, risky business. Mark is all business when anyone from the order is around, and in fact comes off pretty coldly when they're in tactician-brain. Karel doesn't think much of being affectionate, and with how both Mark and Volke are, it's a nonissue, but if he had to consider it, he doesn't really want anything that could draw attention if there's a lot of people around.
What level of pain/sickness are they comfortable showing each other? Is there anything they hide? Mark hates being sick or otherwise feeling poorly around anyone at all, both Volke and Karel included, but especially Karel. They can't quite shake the feeling he might be judging them (he isn't, he doesn't hold them to the same standards he has for himself). They're also physically frail in some very conspicuous ways, though, so it's not something they can wholly avoid. They're a bit more comfortable being ill or injured around Volke, will still downplay it. Karel? Karel isn't sick or injured ever, what are you talking about? No but really, he's exceptionally private about it, he'd sooner disappear for a week and lick his own wounds. He is frigid as hell about it if he has to be under someone's care. Volke? Volke would put up some token resistance, but if either of them wanted to dote on him, he'd actually love it if he got taken care of.
Are they the marrying types? Or something else? Mark doesn't consider themself to be the marrying type, avoids thinking about it. Every time there's one of those festivals, they get all squirrelly and have somewhere else to be. They're not unpacking that. Karel? He'd do it, but it's just a piece of paper to him. He's already wholeheartedly committed without it. Volke...? Contracts have significant weight for him, and that one especially would. It's not something he'd ever push for, but if one of them got down on one knee for him, he'd be incredibly flustered and incredibly into it.
If they lived together, whose name(s) goes on the lease/mortgage? Oh, Volke's, hands down. That's the man with the credit score. Mark would insist on theirs too, just because they're a control freak. Karel wouldn't care at all. He lives there. Volke would push him into being on it due to the legal risks of not.
Is there any early bird/night owl split? How do they deal with it, if so? Well, Karel doesn't sleep much at all, and both Mark and Volke have an understanding that if he is asleep anywhere, any time, that he gets to stay asleep. They will do everything in their power not to wake him up. Mark can sleep through most things, but can also be up... basically any time, so little concern there either. They're used to a really flexible sleep schedule through all of the wars. Volke? Don't wake him up unless there's a reason or else he's cranky. But his sleep is also pretty flexible, he takes it where he can get it. He has a habit of being up late. Common situation of the three of them all giving one another shit for being up at 2am... despite that they are all up at 2am to do so.
Do they have hobbies that take up a lot of space? Is this ever a problem, if so? Mark has books, maps, writing implements, miniatures Everywhere. It isn't just limited to the war room, and if you touch any of the arrangements, they get cranky. Common habit that they'll use random objects to hold books open, including other books, which are in turn held open precariously by a pen laid across it... Given the purpose, Volke and Karel both leave it all alone, mostly. Karel badgers them that they're going to get something blown over at some point and lose their work if anyone opens a window on a breezy day, which has happened. Volke has a habit of tucking flowers, notes, other things into these arrangements. Karel has also found things tucked amongst his swords...
Who slams the oven, and who plays the trombone? ( https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/when-mama-isnt-home ) Is it a trombone, or a different instrument? Mark slams the oven. Volke plays the violin. Karel stands uncomfortably in the background.
Who can keep plants alive? If nobody, who has the best rate of success? Karel can in fact keep a plant alive, bless his heart. He keeps a mint plant in a pot that Mark had found and against their better judgement taken along from one of their battle sites. It's in a window in the armory. Why does he keep it? He would shrug and just ask why not. He munches on the leaves sometimes. Volke could but doesn't care to. Mark? Cannot. They can't remember to take care of it.
Are they in agreement over shoes off or shoes on inside? They're running all over the castle, nobody has time to take their shoes off or put them back on regularly. Mark gets really cross over shoes on furniture, though. Especially shoes on the bed. Karel is in agreement, shoes don't go on bedding, because if he's in the bedroom, he's there to relax, and that means shoes off. Volke will not tell either of them about how much he naps on various furniture with his shoes on. He gets very technical with it, where just the soles will be off the edge. Mark wants to be annoyed at this but feels like it isn't reasonable. He is following the rules. Technically. Gods.
Do they stick to fairly fixed roles in their relationship, or is it flexible? Realizing I should have put this one into nsfw XD It's loose, but has a general vibe. Karel? He's passive until something is initiated towards him, at which point he'll step up. He will do... literally anything Mark asks of him. If we were gonna get into top-bottom-etc... submissive top. Otherwise? He does his own thing and minds himself, outwardly. Volke is very active and can be a driving force in the relationship when Mark isn't. You could reduce it to his being a service top. I'm just gonna throw out there that if this was getting fanworks, he'd get fanonized as being their dom, a lot. They trade off being in charge. At the beginning of things, Mark was more than happy to let Volke take the lead because he stepped into that role very naturally. As they've gotten more comfortable with one another, Mark has seen that same tiredness in him as he saw in them, and takes up some of the slack. Their default is submissive bottom With Opinions. Take the role assignments a bit tongue in cheek - I'd argue it's more nuanced than that.
Who would take up more of the closet? What do they have the most of? ... Shockingly: Volke. Once he's settled into being in a fixed location, he gets more clothes and especially accessories than the other two combined - which still isn't a lot, and a lot of it is functional, for covert operations, but, still. Not all of it is for him, though. He also gets various things for Mark. He finds it charming when they dress a bit finer. He has all of that money, you see. Mark just has a lot of coats.
NSFW questions~
Are they particular about where to/not to have sex, like nothing on food prep surfaces, only in bed, nothing outdoors? If so, what are the rules? Are they in agreement about said rules? :3 Volke will fuck anywhere mostly out of sight, especially if it's a bit scandalous. Karel? He prefers some discretion, though he has a bit of a thing for doing it outside, somewhere scenic. Mark doesn't like the idea of being caught by any of the heroes, so wants some degree of privacy, but trusts the other two such as to go along with just about anything they want.
Are sex toys something casual, or reserved for special occasions, or not used at all? So they don't really have any on hand in Askr (...not for lack of availability... they're just not looking for em), but, if I transpose them to somewhere it would be more likely to come up? Karel still never thinks about them, so with him? Not really a thing. Mark, on the other hand? Has definitely thought about pegging him, but the nature of things in Askr, how busy things are, has made them pretty shy to bring that up... (...writes that in the wip doc). It would be a special occasion thing for them, what with the prep work they'd want to do to make sure a good time was had. It's fortunate for both of them though, especially Mark, that Askr hasn't invented vibrators yet. Volke would be a menace. He'd be almost too casual about it for Mark's health.
How about roleplay? Casual, or something that would be meticulously planned out? Can they stay serious during it? Also does not occur to Karel to do, but, he would be deadly serious with it were it ever brought up to him. He would have a whole persona cultivated. Likely something he already had some familiarity with, like some kind of teacher/student thing, but that's where it would err XD he'd do the scenario too straight. Mark would just get tired, they can only take so many sword drills. They wanted a different kind of sword... So then it does get silly, because they make it so. Mark? Mark has a really hard time not being flirty and a little silly during roleplay, and it's something they would just start casually as a situational joke, "it's like you're my boss... (starts running their mouth about that)" sorts of things, but also, they'd be very open to something more planned out. Volke? That's a lot of work, but also, he's great at it with a bit of time to plan or with something he already knows. He could run a hell of a stranger in a bar pickup, a break-in turned sexy, sexy kidnapping, sexy extortion, sexy interrogation, whatever, really, if either of them ever wanted it.
Do they change the sheets after sex, or just avoid the wet spot? Firmly team avoid, especially since a lot of the linen care isn't in their own hands and they're not trying to sleep on a bare mattress while waiting for laundry to come back. Volke though specifically does try to avoid making a mess.
How pressed do they get if the other doesn't orgasm during sex? Is it personal? Doesn't come up much, they're all three very sexually compatible, and Mark is very easy. But Mark would in fact struggle greatly not to take it very personally. It'd be a whole thing. Volke? Much more "eh, try again later" approach. Karel... might take it more personally than Mark does, in fact. This is a man who is used to getting results.
Would they be bothered by a pet walking into the room? ... Volke could and would pet a cat while getting fucked. Mark would be weirded out but would let it continue and find it kinda funny once Volke finally shooed it away. Karel doesn't like that at all. It's looking at him. It would throw him off his game.
Are they comfortable being intimate if a housemate was at home? If so, do they try to be quieter? Mark and Karel had so, so much quiet sex during Mark's time in Elibe and it's in fact the norm for them, given the encampment situation, which... Certainly was analogous to housemates. They're quite comfortable with it. In fact, getting Karel to make noise at all is rare. Volke similarly is fine with others being in earshot so long as he has some cover and will be quiet, even down to covering a partner's mouth to keep them quiet, if the situation calls for it. But here's the thing about him is that sometimes, if it's low stakes? He does not feel like the situation calls for it. He gets a little thrill from his partner knowing they could be overheard. Mark? Mark has come to terms with others knowing they have an active sex life but gets embarrassed drawing attention to it.
Are their sex drives pretty well aligned, or different? How do they handle it? Karel has a pretty low sex drive but is very receptive to advances from his partners. Mark and Volke are both high and they take full advantage of that. Karel is very amicable to this situation, it works out well for him since they'll bring him in when he's wanted but otherwise they take care of their needs. Mark gets worried sometimes that he doesn't get enough, but it's an ongoing conversation.
Is the relationship open to other partners? If so, what are the rules around it? How would a conversation around opening it go? It's something they actually should talk more about lmao but probably won't. Karel had of course prompted Mark to seek other partners but there's an unspoken expectation that they're not just fucking around with just anyone - he really had just meant "go talk to that thief that keeps making eyes at you" which is...hmm. probably not great! Mark is quite loyal, though, and wouldn't go looking, but duplicates are another story... I have done some art and consider it to be vaguely canon. And Volke certainly supports it. Karel? He was prior just Marksexual, and has allowed Volke into that, is really not interested at all in other people. Volke? Would happily fuck other people with Mark if they so wished if said others were his vibe, but isn't looking. He would prefer they're all primarily committed to each other.
If applicable, is contraception something they think about? Mark is insane about it until they have some work done to make it a moot point. Like it's something they were so extremely anxious about and made use of every available precaution up to making themself quite ill with it in Elibe. Karel? He pulled out by default anyway. He wasn't trying to mess with all of that. The mention in talk of war? It was...complicated. Volke... He hates pulling out, and there's some idle thought in the back of his head that the Concept of getting Mark pregnant would be fun, but it's not something he actually wants. It's nice for him that it's a nonissue and he can think about their having mommy milkers all in his head. If it did happen? He wouldn't really be upset about it, except for how much it would make Mark freak out.
Are marks/bites something they'll let be done to them? Do they cover them or have rules about where they can be done? Mark prefers any ...marks....be able to be covered by their clothes, but that's not hard with how much they wear - does like receiving them, especially on the neck. Karel likes aggression enacted on him in general, likes being bitten, marked, scratched, and wears it very openly. Volke wishes a bitch would bite him. Either of them should get on that. He isn't trying to cover anything, but his clothes do that by default.
How long did they wait after getting together to have sex? It is in fact how Mark initiated getting together with both of them (: Mark "let's be fuckbuddies" lastname is just like this. They may or may not hold people at arm's length emotionally (:
Any uncommon kinks/fetishes? Would they bring it up, and how so? Karel does not bring it up, but he has a thing for tears, especially ones from overstimulation. Mark has a huge fixation on both of their partners' footwear. Wants to rub off on them. Not subtle about it, but also doesn't directly bring it up.
The only hotel they can get accommodations at is a sexy themed one ā how do they feel about it? What room theme are they picking? Karel would think it's just really pointless, not worth the time to worry about it, whatever room is cheapest, they're just going to be sleeping there anyway. He is dead wrong. Mark pretends not to be interested? Actually really wants the room themed like a magical forest. Volke thinks they're all fun in a cliche way, and could work with any of them, but would notice Mark lingering on that one. He's going to be insufferable with it, truly. They're both losing their names to the fae. He is the fae. He owns them now. It's a bit silly <3
Domestic/established pairing questions, with nuance :3 tried to use language to include polyam situations! Do as a questionnaire or an ask game or whatever, really, I'm not the boss of you
SFW questions-
Do they have petnames/nicknames for each other? Is there a reason why not, or a reason they picked what they did?
Who cooks? What's their favorite thing to cook?
Is there something one of them is quite bad at cooking? Do they get better?
Are they ok with PDA? What counts as public to them? Are there levels?
What level of pain/sickness are they comfortable showing each other? Is there anything they hide?
Are they the marrying types? Or something else?
If they lived together, whose name(s) goes on the lease/mortgage?
Is there any early bird/night owl split? How do they deal with it, if so?
Do they have hobbies that take up a lot of space? Is this ever a problem, if so?
Who slams the oven, and who plays the trombone? ( https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/when-mama-isnt-home ) Is it a trombone, or a different instrument?
Who can keep plants alive? If nobody, who has the best rate of success?
Are they in agreement over shoes off or shoes on inside?
Do they stick to fairly fixed roles in their relationship, or is it flexible?
Who would take up more of the closet? What do they have the most of?
NSFW questions~
Are they particular about where to/not to have sex, like nothing on food prep surfaces, only in bed, nothing outdoors? If so, what are the rules? Are they in agreement about said rules? :3
Are sex toys something casual, or reserved for special occasions, or not used at all?
How about roleplay? Casual, or something that would be meticulously planned out? Can they stay serious during it?
Do they change the sheets after sex, or just avoid the wet spot?
How pressed do they get if the other doesn't orgasm during sex? Is it personal?
Would they be bothered by a pet walking into the room?
Are they comfortable being intimate if a housemate was at home? If so, do they try to be quieter?
Are their sex drives pretty well aligned, or different? How do they handle it?
Is the relationship open to other partners? If so, what are the rules around it? How would a conversation around opening it go?
If applicable, is contraception something they think about?
Are marks/bites something they'll let be done to them? Do they cover them or have rules about where they can be done?
How long did they wait after getting together to have sex?
Any uncommon kinks/fetishes? Would they bring it up, and how so?
The only hotel they can get accommodations at is a sexy themed one ā how do they feel about it? What room theme are they picking?
I'm open to asks for these if anyone is so inclined! Canon/canon, oc/canon, oc /oc (and polyam of any) is all on the table
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Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā The last of the rain stops dripping and for a moment the world feels too quiet and still.
#rain#rainyday#rainymood#prose#my writing#writers on tumblr#writers#writeblr#after the rain#there was a minute the other morning where it was so quiet it felt like everything stopped when the rain did#it felt unusual and unusual makes for good inspiration#i like this prose on its own but i think it could be cool to use it for a 'eye of the hurricane' moment#like maybe the rain's stopped but something else is coming and this is used to build tension towards it?#or maybe this could be a 'calm after the storm' moment#weird i think it could be used for opposite things XD#maybe i'll find something to do with it#though if someone else wants to that's ok too
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Sukunaās Loneliness Part 4 (Sukunaās Negative Rizz)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5
Some warnings before we start.
1) This analysis deals with sexual topics.
2) I will be mainly using the TCB scans because of their accessibility.Ā Raws are from mangareader(.)to.
3) This was written as of JJK 262 266. (I'm just going to keep updating this until I stop finding things I should've noticed earlier.)
4) The raws broke me in ways you cannot possibly imagine.
(Click images for captions/citations.)
Fighting as Communication
Baki the Grappler. This is a manga where men destroy each otherās bodies as a test of strength. Itās poorly written but the art is terrifying and I love it so dearly. Between fights of extreme violence and body horror the characters eat. And thatās it. Thatās the manga.
I bring Baki up because Gege is a huge fan of Fujimoto Tatsuki, the creator of Chainsawman. Fujimoto is a fan of Gege too, but more importantly, he is a huge fan of Itagaki Keisuke, the creator of Baki. (His daughter made Beastars btw.) In a way, this means Jujutsu Kaisen has been influenced by Baki. But thatās not a surprise, a lot of manga is.
Itagakiās work is so massively influetial on Japanese media that itās kind of hard to grasp since itās not as popular overseas. When listening to interviews from various Japanese creators, Baki will often be cited as a major influence. And the thing is, you can tell when a creative has read Baki. Thereās nothing quite like it. If youāve read Baki and consume Chainsawman, you will see its bones everywhere. I feel the same about Jujutsu Kaisen.
The main antagonist in Baki is Yujiro Hanma. He is the strongest creature alive. So much so that he has no one to call a rival. Heās bored. He causes trouble. He kills his wife to motivate his son, Baki into becoming stronger. His son, Baki, who he grooms into becoming a fighter that might beat him in combat one day. Kind of sounds like Sukuna, right?
But thatās not my point here. My focus is how Baki doubles as a discussion about strength and manhood. Itās aggressively bisexual. Men love each other with their fists. Straight up the main character says having sex with women is the same thing as fighting men.
And it just doesnāt stop there. The homoerotic nature of the fights is never shyed away from. Hereās an example of my favorite.
He grabs his balls and compliments their size. Thatās pretty gay, right? Well thereās this reanimated prehistoric caveman called Pickle that fights Bakiās brother Jack. And how do they fight? They kiss.
I didnāt call it a kiss. Itagaki did. I didnāt say they melded together. Itagaki did. This mangaka overtly calls attention to the homoerotic nature of men fighting men, and how men communicate their love for each other through violence. And yes, itās sexual. Itagaki wants you to read it that way.
But sometimes he doesnāt want you to read it that way. Sometimes the fights are a dialogue, an emotional conversation. Like one between father and son.
Itagaki is a master of narrative framing. When he wants you to feel a certain way, you will feel it. He also tells his readers that thereās more to the fights than just fighting.

Those are the ideas that help me see the bones of Baki in other works. Men loving men with violence. Men communicating with men through violence. I see these ideas in Jujutsu Kaisen too.
Jujutsu Communication
Iāve gone over how Yuji commucates with other people on their own terms. And a lot of it is through fighting. A conversation without words, learning how someone works. Yuji is good at using fights as tool of communication.
But heās not the one who tells you that thereās more to the fights than just fighting. Maki does in her spar with the sumo guy.
Just like Baki. Fighting is a means of communication. Gege has told you that there can be more to the fights than fighting. It's a tool used to understand the self and others.
With that in mind, I want to reexamine a particular fight under the lens of Baki rather than Umineko.
Sukuna vs Gojo
Baki tells you that homoerotic readings of its fights are intentional. If you ask me, this probably stems from historical stances on masculinity and homosexuality in ancient Japan. Men loved men and women differently, but both were ok. Thatās how Baki can have a girlfriend and his gay fights. Peak bisexual optimization.
What does Jujutsu Kaisen have to do with this? Well it has been extremely queer friendly. We have a multidue of canonical trans characters, non-binary characters, and other flavors of queer characters not disparaged for their identities, Gojo Satoru included. It may not be stated outright, but Gojo and Geto do love each other in a gay way. The subtext is so persisent itās basically text.
In other words, Gege has already told us, yes please have queer readings of this text. Itās the same way Baki tells you, yes this is straight up convoluded gay sex. So thatās what Iām going to do. Iām going to reread the Sukuna and Gojo fight as some ridiculous mating display between two men who are fighting over can miscommunicate their intent the hardest.
Framed as Courtship
Letās start with the framing. The pre-fight set up. How does text tell you queer readings are allowed?
Kenjaku does. Itās romantic. Itās a date. This reading has been made valid explicitly. And if thereās room for doubt because of the sarcasm? Thereās still additional support for it.
We already know how badly in love Gojo is with Geto. The fight is on the 24th of December, the most romantic day in Japan. And in a fun little Geto parallel, who declared the start of war on this day, violence underlines this new romantic venture.
That doesnāt include Sukuna who recalls Yorozuās words about teaching love in the context of marriage.
Gojo never heard that conversation which is why the next point is absolutely insane.
The outfit Gojo initially is in resembles that of a groom at a Shinto wedding.
Shinto weddings were implemented after the Heian era. Part of the ceremony includes a priest and a shrine maiden who respectively stand to the right and left of the altar. A purification ritual will occur, lead by the priest, to cleanse the shrine before vows are exchanged. Gakuganji is the priest and Utahime is the shrine maiden. To the right and left of Gojo respectively.
The bride at a Shinto wedding wears mainly white. After the 200% Hollow Purple cleanses the area, the dark shawl is removed and Sukuna remains in mostly white.
How interesting that this battle has been framed as one between groom and bride.
The thing is, marriage in the Heian era was far more lax. There were no major ceremonies. If a man was interested in marrying a woman, he would visit her for 3 nights after receiving approval from her father. Upon the passing of their 3rd night together, the family would have an informal celebration of their union in private. Even after marriage, multiple partners were allowed and sometimes encouraged.
Yorozuās big celebration proposal to Sukuna and banning of concubines was quite improper by Heian standards. Though it is in line with modern marriages. If Sukuna did not consume any Shinto wedding literature, he probably didnāt recognize that Gojo was dressed as a groom.
But did Gojo dress this way for Sukuna intentionally? The Toji fit served an entirely different purpose. Itās the robes and pre-fight ceremony that catch my attention. So I propose the following:
1) Gojo dressed up as a groom to die and be wed with his one and only Geto in death.
2) Gojo dressed up as a groom in part as an offering to Sukuna. And because Sukuna is from the Heian era it went over his head entirely.
3) Gojo intended for both of these things at the same time and left who he would end up with to fate.
Regardless of what Gojo was going for here, itās a visual cue combined with the knowledge of it being Dec 24th that encourages the reader to perhaps consider the fight as something other than just a fight. A date perhaps? Kenjaku made the connection and neither Gojo or Sukuna really denied it. Gojo gave the weak excuse of a death anniversary confusion. But much weirder, given how hostile he was to Yorozu, Sukuna did not object to the romantic framing in any capacity.
Am I reaching? Is this reading intentional?
When I start getting this confused by how a translated work wants me to read it, I try to refer to the original language text and anyone who knows it for missing context. Sometimes localizations add things that werenāt there or push readers towards one interpretation. So for the rest of this analysis, Iām going to be focusing on the raws.
Iām going to be honest. My Japanese fudging sucks. I can barely read kanji and canāt reliably translate anything. Feel free to correct me if I got something wrong. That being said, with what little I do know, I have discovered something interesting.
In this post I talked about how weird Sukunaās manner of speech is. I focused on his you pronoun usage of ćå (Omae) for everyone else and č²“ę§ (Kisama) for Gojo since this is a strong indicator of how a character views their relationship to someone.
Here's a summary of the two points I made in that post:
1) Omae is informal and either a casual thing amongst peers or indicates the speaker's higher status. Since Sukuna is arrogant, we can reasonably assume he's talking down to people.
2) Kisama historically was a formal show of respect, but in modern times it is a hostile insult, much more rude than Omae. Since Sukuna is 1,000 years old and hates Yuji (who he uses Omae with), we can reasonably assume Sukuna was being friendly to Gojo when he used Kisama.
With that pronoun usage in mind, while examining the raws for the infamous āYou Cleared My Skiesā speech I found this:
Kisama. Sukuna is very happy and lavishing Gojo with praise. The assumption it was formal from the start seems to be correct. It's hard to read this any other way.
Though Japanese can easily be dubious in its interpretation, there are instances where context can cut off all other readings. I truly believe this one of those cases.
Now, to confirm Sukuna is still only treating Gojo this way I started looking at his you pronouns as he got excited post-Gojo death. Maki is the person he seems to admire the most.
Heās still just using Omae. What does that mean? Gojo is in his own fudging category for Sukuna and he has been there since the start of the manga. (For more on why this is significant, refer to this post.)
Wow ok. Thatās pretty intense! Weāve got Gojo dressed up as a groom on December 24th and Sukuna treating Gojo different from anyone else. I read their fight again under the lens of explicit courtship and focused in on these specific panels.
Satisfaction. Now thatās a word that can easily carry a sexual connotation. Love as well. The parallel syntax fascinated me in English. So I decided to look at the raws and see how close they are.
Pretty much the same except for "the one who will teach you love" and "the one satisfying him now". Since the one being satisfied is Gojo by Sukuna, it really seems we can assume the one being taught love is Gojo by Sukuna.
Time to learn some Japanese again!
Kanji has multiple readings. Most have at least two. The Onyomi (Chinese) reading typically used for nouns and the Kunyomi (Japanese) reading typically used for verbs. (This is not always the case but itās the basics.)
Thatās probably why ęŗ is read as ć¾ć (man) when Gojo and Geto are talking about āsatisfactionā using the On version and ćæ (mi), the Kun version, when the narrator is talking about who āsatisfiesā who.
However ęŗ on its own does not mean satisfaction. It means full. To be filled. Or fullness. č¶³ (zoku) is added as a modifier after ęŗ to be read as satisfaction ęŗč¶³ (manzoku). č¶³ usually means feet, but it can also mean to be sufficient. Manzoku therefore has a direct translation of being sufficiently full. Itās not a surprise a lot of food places in Japan use Manzoku in their names or advertising.
But whatās this? Why is this sentence written as ęŗćć㦠or Mi(tashite) instead of ęŗč¶³ć㦠or Manzoku(shite)? The addition of Zoku is what transforms Man into "satisfying". Without the Zoku, itās just "fill". The means this sentence can be read as āThe one filling him up now isāā
Weāve already established that the blank is Sukuna. The new problem is that heās filling Gojo up. And boy, does that sound homoerotic to put it lightly. But perhaps I am reaching.
So I did what any sane person would do in this situation. I read hentai.
Surely if the phrase ęŗćć㦠(mitashite) can carry a sexual connotation I will find it in hentai.
...
I immediately found a yaoi doujin called Fill me with your Big Love aka ćć£ććŖęć§ęŗćć㦠(Okkina Ai de Mitashite). Honestly, I found too many doujins about creampies specifically. (You have internet access verify this yourself.) When you search Manzokushite the results are much more in line with life satisfaction than sexual satisfaction. ...So Gege decided to use the more frisky phrasing.
Manzoku is also the name of an active sex toy manufacturer (Iām not linking them use a search engine.) and a discontinued adult entertainment news company. So the satisfaction Gojo and Geto talk about, along with Geto using 妬 (ya), the jealous kanji often used between lovers, is definitely probably carrying a sexual connotation too.
So, Iām not reaching. What the fudge did Gege mean by this?
Now that we've established that I am NOT reaching. What do we do with this information?
Well, we ruminate on the fight with the knowledge that Sukuna, of his own volition, decided to get Gojo off, probably.
I have forgiven Nanami for calling Gojo a pervert. If I watched someone bust a nut after being cut in half by his sworn enemy instead of saving the country, I too would be like what the fudge.
Anyways, the typical phrase used for an orgasm in Japanese is č”ć(iku). It translates as to go. And yes it can mean to die, as in going to the other side. To die and go to heaven if you will. Which is what Gojo did with a big old smile on his face.
Thereās also the term åæå¤© (tokoroten). It refers to a dish were a semi-opaque white substance is pushed through holes to create noodles. Literal translation using the kanji for heart åæ (kokoro) and the kanji for heaven 天 (ten). (Donāt ask me why them being smack together turns the Koroko into Tokoro. I donāt know.) Which in slang refers to prostate orgasms. This has nothing to do with this analysis I wanted to drop this fun fact in here. ā¦And this image of Sukuna clutching his heart while looking at someone he sent to heaven.
(This is a reach but the idea of this being an elaborate gay pun amuses me greatly.)
I have another fun slang term: č³¢č
ćæć¤ć (kenjataimu) which directly translates to sage č³¢č
(kenja) time ćæć¤ć (taimu). This refers to post-nut clarity sending someone into a meditative-like state.
Oh thatās a bit familiar. Sukuna was giving sagely advice to Kashimo and reflecting on satisfaction and love.
And whatās this? Mitashite has made a reappearance! Sukuna is saying āIāve never thought about needing another person to fill me up.ā Which 1. further supports the 'The one satisfying/filling him (Gojo) now isāSukuna.' reading and 2. suggests Sukuna is a top suggests Sukuna really doesnāt have sexual interest in people. (Since the context of this convo is relationships and love.)
By the way. Acts of eating in Japanese can be modified to carry sexual meanings. Itās a bit more suggestive than English, but it carries over pretty well I think? čé£ē³» (nikusokukei) refers to someone who aggresively pursues romantic or sexual relationships. Composed of the kanji č (niku) for meat, é£ (ta) for eating, and ē³» (kei) class. If you noticed, é£ isnāt usually read as Soku. It becomes Soku when paired with Niku for some reason. (I donāt know why someone please help me.) Side by side the kanji čé£ (nikusoku) means meat-eater.
é£ is still interesting on itās own. The é£ć¹ć (taberu) reading is normal eating. The é£ć(kuu) reading is an innuendo. It can mean to devour someone, like a cannibal, or devour someone sexually.
Sukuna has made it very clear that his eating of people is literal. Thereās no innuendo. In fact, if you read into it, heāll kill you (rip Yorozu and Kashimo).
Gojo, however, appears to be his sole exception to this rule. When Sukuna tells Kashimo not to spoil his pleasure he uses the kanji č (kyou). This of course can be directly translated as pleasure, but the Chinese reading of it can also indicate intense excitement or sexual arousal.
Sukuna is pretty good at double-entendre wordplay if his earlier stunts with the kanji for Enchain doubling as Megumi Activities if read a different way is anything to go by. He's a fan of Chinese literature. It's not a stretch to assume there's more going on here.
And if notoriously homophobic Reddit dudebros are posting things like this. Maybe there's a lot more merit to this reading than I can currently grasp.
Iām still pretty convinced Sukuna is aroace. That of course doesnāt bar him from pursuing romantic or sexual relationships. Sometimes thereās the one exception. Sometimes the desire to be with and please an allo partner allows for engagement of activities they arenāt into. Sometimes the actions are pursued without the emotional attachment because they physically feel good. Thereās also the gray-scale and demi labels to consider.
With that in mind, I want to emphasize this all points to how important Gojo is to Sukuna regardless of sexuality. He tried to engage with and understand Gojo on terms he wonāt for anyone else. And heās been pursuing this connection relentlessly since the start of manga.
Sukunaās Negative Rizz
Ok I established that reading the Sukuna vs Gojo fight as unhinged courtship is supported by the text. That doesnāt really say anything about Sukuna sucking at it.
But, my dear reader, that in of itself is proof of his negative rizz. I had to sit down. Learn about Heian era and Shinto wedding rituals, learn more Japanese, splice seemingly unrelated manga panels together, read hentai, and know that Gege is into yaoi to come to this conclusion. I had to rip every little shred of characterization and context apart and rearrange it into something comprehensible.
You know who canāt do that? Gojo.
As far as Gojo is concerned, Sukuna hates him. Kisama is an extremely hostile you pronoun in modern times. And if Gojo canāt tell Shoko (his closest friend after Geto) is stressed over him being used like a meat puppet by her visibly falling back on her addiction, heās going to default to the assumption Sukuna hates him just as much as everyone else.
And Gojo does just that. He assumes he failed to reach Sukuna. Despite how often they did hand to hand combat and weaponized their knowledge of each other, Gojo believes they never had proper conversation through fighting. He dies not understanding Sukuna, convinced the other was not trying to communicate with him at all.
And if you recall, all of this fight occurred while Sukuna was wearing Megumiās face. That boy is pretty much Gojoās adopted child. From my experience, most single parents do not go looking for clones of their kids as partners.
If someone wore the skin of my family member I would assume they were trying to torment me. And torment Gojo Sukuna does. He draws attention to Megumiās soul being used as collateral and attacks him with the 10 Shadows. We as the audience know this is all for the sake of getting past Infinity using his Shrine. Gojo doesnāt know that. Heās fighting an evil dude who is puppeting the body of his son for god knows what reason.
Seriously, Sukuna sucks at communicating intent.
In Part 3 of my examination of Sukunaās loneliness, I said Dismantle is a tool Sukuna uses to understand. And that him upgrading it by making Gojo the center of his world was indicative of his desire to reach him. I also said his refusal to use it on Yorozu was him expressing how little interest he had in her.
Yorozu is pissed by this. She sees it as Sukuna rejecting her and I donāt think sheās wrong. Sukuna saved his special Cursed Technique (CT) for Gojo while turning Yorozu down. If weāre considering all the wedding imagery and references that started with Yorozu, Iām certainly allowed to read that as him saving himself for Gojo. (Think of how he lied to Gojo about being the first one he killed.)
Thereās also the fact that Yorozu saw their battle as an expression love and lustāthat the usage of CT is a type of foreplay under certain circumstances since it is an extension of the self. Combine that with the established premise that fighting is a type of a communication thanks to Maki vs Sumo Guy and you can start to see the courtship logic behind Sukunaās treatment of Gojo.
If we are to read āThe one who will teach you love isā¦Sukunaā thereās another adorable caveat. Yorozu uses the you pronoun ććŖć (Anata) for Sukuna.
Itās an informal you pronoun used by people learning Japanese. Native speakers try to avoid using it as it can come across as rude. But in the context of love? This is colloquially called the wife pronoun as its often used by a wife to her husband.
If you wanted to localize its usage in the way Yorozu means it, Anata might become āyou, dearā. So here we have Sukuna dressed in white, like a bride to Gojoās groom, thinking of him as Anata.
The problem is, Gojo doesnāt know that. Sukuna never bothered to open his mouth and say this was an act of love. Sure he told Kashimo in the most roundabout way possible, but Gojo was the one who needed to hear that. If a courtship is going to be this diabolically complicated, there has to be clear hints for the other party. JJK is not Umineko where thereās a witch that can revive the dead over and over until the idiot finally understands this was all for them.
Gojo also doesnāt have access to the kanji Sukuna uses to describe certain techinques or words. He hears the phonetics and runs with whatever best fits the context. This means thereās no way for him to catch the double-meaning unless heās a certain type of lingust, which he is not. His manner of speech and personal interests donāt line up with the flowery language of the Heian Era. The types of written works Gojo is into are historical war politics from the Sengoku period (known for violence more than the fine arts), Shonen manga, and physics/math.

And what's this? According to CFYOW (the canon light novels): JJK Thorny Road at Dawn, Chapter 3 Asakusabashi Elegy, Gojo doesn't even like ancient poetry. You know, the thing Sukuna enjoys and tries to communicate with.

The Kokin Wakashu Gojo off-handedly disparages is a compilation of Hiean Era poetry known as Waka. This was the primary means of communication amongst the noble class and spiritual leaders at the time. And the thing is, this poetry is supposed to be read into. Down to the quality of stroke and paper, not just the kanji written. Especially for courtship.
Itās not that Gojo is stupid. He just doesnāt specialize in the studies that would give him a more critical ear to Sukuna's words. And Sukuna doesnāt seem to understand that no one in the modern era communicates like this anymore.
If you didnāt know, this is why Japanese characters introduce themselves they often describe what kanji their name is spelled with. Take for example: Satoru. He uses the kanji ę meaning enlightenment. This kanji can be read as Go instead of Satoru. Additionally, the name Satoru can be written in kanji as č” for smart, ęŗ for wisdom, ē„ for knowledge, äŗ for understanding, å² for philosophy, č for virtuous, or ę for daybreak. Thatās 8 different kanji possible if you hear the name Satoru.
This is why Sukunaās wordplay for everything else can be easily missed by other characters. They hear the words and cannot read the kanji like us. Context decides what Sukuna means for them. And since Sukunaās context for most is violence and insults, itās very hard for them to think about his words in any other way.
And boy howdy does Gojo miss it. Sukuna straight up calls him his husband and it took me several rereads to catch it. While mocking Gojo for being unable to open his domain, Sukuna calls him "painfully ordinary". This is localized from the word å”夫 (bonpu) which can also be translated as unenlightened. (A layered insult! Sukuna is pretty much saying Gojo's sorcery is so boring he shouldn't even call himself the Honored One.)
The thing is...Bonpu is comprised of the 2 kanji å” for mediocre, and 夫 for husband. (Please note that there are many other ways to call Gojo a ditz without using the kanji for husband.) And an update from the Replies: Turns out there's layers to the gayness too.
It's come full fudging circle. Gojo came dressed as a groom for a wedding and Sukuna thinks they're already married. The miscommunication is off the rails.
But wait! There's more...
Earlier I mentioned that the kanji for Enchain doubles as Megumi Activities. Let's break that down more. (Unfortunately the Twitter account of the person I referenced may or may not be nuked so here's this screenshot I've doctored.)
So we have the translation of Enchain from å„é (Keikatsu), which might be better localized as Separation.
This term comes from a Chinese poem about lovers who are husband and wife in The Book of Odes, Section I (Lessons from the States), Chapter 3 (The Odes of Bei), Poem 31 (Banging the Drum). (Here's a link to the full poem and context of it.)
In summary, itās about a soldier who is on the brink of death, having lost nearly everything after being abandoned by those in power, lamenting the happiest days of his life with his love are ones he can never get back. (Hey that sounds just like what Sukuna did to Yuji!)
Keikatsu specifically comes from this passage:
āOur vow is beyond death and lifeā, I and you are together I always remembered. I will hold your hand, And together we grow old.
Too pitiful we are faraway apart, The distance separates us to meet again! Too miserable this takes forever, And it does not let us fulfill our vow!
Keikatsu is used to exemplify how the physical distance between the husband and wife prevents them from fulfilling their wedding vows. And that's just what Keikatsu/Enchain does to Yuji and Megumi, it causes painful separation neither of them wanted.
Keikatsu also tells Yuji exactly how Sukuna plans to do it. å„(kei)é(katsu) can be written as ęµ(kei)ę“»(katsu). The kanji ęµ can be read as Kei or...Megumi. (It's the literal kanji used for his name.) The kanji ę“» (katsu) can mean "activities", which is how we get Enchain=Megumi Activities.
A two for one special! Sukuna mocks Yuji for being so close with Megumi while telling him exactly how he's going to destroy their relationship.
It seems this has nothing to do with Gojo until you consider the 3rd possible reading from wordplay with å„é (Keikatsu). The kanji å„ when read as Kei refers to a promise, pledge or vow. When å„ read as Chigi? It can refer to sexual intercourse, especially between husband and wife.
So we have å„é(keikatsu, separation), ęµ(kei Megumi)ę“»(katsu, activities), and å„(kei chigi, spousal sex)ę“»(katsu, activities). It's no wonder he erased Yuji's memory of it.
Keep in mind, that when Sukuna uses Keikatsu, the only vow that he has made at this point is his promise to kill Gojo. He eventually does that using Megumi's body during a fight framed between groom and bride. And for reasons beyond their control, Sukuna and Gojo have been unable to fulfill that vow through lengthy separation.
Notes from poem "Banging the Drum" Sukuna references include the following:
"And during the operation, he lost his horse, which was a desperate situation (horses in ancient time carried soldier supply and weapons, are life companion for soldiers in advance or retreat), he lost his horse, his supply, maybe his armor and weapons, and the road he was facing that we may lose his life so he may never go back. In all these mess, he started searching, and somehow at this hopeless moment he started to revisit his happiest moment, when he together vowed in marriage ceremony with his wife, and he was even afraid that he might never see his love again."
"And His last statement for his true value is his home, his love, his fulfillment of his vow is his true duty. Hero's duty is to pursue love."
In Buddhism, which JJK is heavily influenced by, horses are a pretty big deal. Horses can represent the path to enlightenment, especially since The Buddha's horse is what takes him on this journey away from his wife and children. They separate in the end though, the horse dying of a broken heart.
Remember how Sukuna called Gojo unenlightened? He sort of guided Gojo to enlightenment using Mahoraga, whose Eight-Handed title is a reference to the Eightfold Path to be followed for enlightenment. Buddhist enlightenment is centered around liberation from suffering. (Just check the wiki entry to verify this.) Infinity was the source of Gojo's suffering and Sukuna cut right through it.
Sukuna has been running around with a broken heart for a good chunk of the post-Gojo fight. And if you take that into consideration with this poem and all the other symbolism, he's somehow a Buddha, a Bodhisattva, the dying husband, the widowed wife, and the heartbroken horse all at the same time. Not unlike his wordplay taking on every possible meaning at once.
But my point here is that Sukuna mightāve seen his fight with Gojo as consummation of their marriage. (There's probably a joke in here about the husband reaching climax while leaving his wife unsatisfied.) Remember in the wise words of Itagaki Keisuke, "Fighting and sex are exactly the same!"
In Conclusion?
This is possibly one of the most bizarre and elaborate expressions of love I have lost my mind over. Sukuna gave everything Gojo ever wanted from Jujutsu violently. He did it in such an unpleasant and cruel way that the target of his affection thought there was nothing between them. Sukuna also hid his intent under social norms that no longer exist. Unless Gojo happened to be into ancient literature, there was never a scenario where he would catch onto this. Sukuna's failure is critical on multiple levels.
Itās impressive. It really is. No one knows how Sukunaās strange little brain works so heās stuck being loner without anyone that fully understands him. (Iām still thinking about how Uraume didnāt know Sukuna was a twin for over 1,000 years.) Heād have to let people in and tell him outright, but heās just like Gojo so I guess thatās never happening.
#cactus yaps#I need to have my weeaboo license revoked.#How on earth did I miss this?#GEGE WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THIS.#Hi yes I will dress as a traditional groom on Dec 24th the most romantic day in Japan after someone else called the arrangement a date.#Is this even subtext at this point?#Why canāt these men use their got danged words instead of Umineko levels of psychological warfare.#Sukuna: ''Gojo is clearly driven by lust. How do I have s*x with him without actually having s*x?#Fighting and death are basically the same thing as s*x so Iāll do that and hopefully he sees that I love him.''#Gojo to Geto: ''Sukuna gave me the best *rgasm I've had in years. I think he hates me.''#Geto: ''Huh.''#Absolutely fascinated by girlfailures Sukuna and Geto horribly fumbling Gojo in completely different ways.#I want them to fight over him in the most passive aggressive way possible.#Gojo was meant to be a romcom harem protagonist.#Though Sukuna should be way more ok with poly given Heian rules on relationships.#But you know Geto was also ok that someone else was able to make Gojo feel good.#I like that prioritization of his pleasure. Even if it came a little too late.#Much to think about.#Consider this my Sukugo manifesto part 2.#Update 8/14/24: One of these days I'm just going to have to make a new post.#Update Cont: Sukuna calling Gojo his mid unenlightened husband wife spouse all at once using two kanji is truly insane.#Update 8/19/2024: All according to Keikatsu.#sukugo#ryomen sukuna#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#lemons
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#hi im j here 2 talk . saw this cow yday so i drew her and now u get 2 say hi#but omffgg my gd i dont know if any of u relate but i feel like my ability to socialize w others#specifically online and speciifically in interest-circles has gotten so much harder for no reason whatsoever#like im just becoming more self conscious ab how i portray myself and its so weird bc like . LIKEE I DONT KNOW like . ok#people r super njce . always super nice and reach out to me and talk w me or i reach out first and they respond and r soo sweet#and something happens in my brain where like . i feel like im suddenly like . inserting myself where i dont belong (not true) but why am i#the bus driver all of a sudden . in all of these situations . me when i just show up like hey#i think i j feel annoying >__< . and i dont want to bother other people but said people r literally never bothered ykwim like Will Reach Out#and im the one that pulls back but 4 no reason . i cant even think ab why i do that .why am i doing this š§Ø#so many ppl i want to genuinely befriend in all of these spaces but im self sabotaging soo frwaking bad#literally rn thinking of some dms i left on read bc i panicked or mutuals ive talked w before who im nervous 2 be familiar w . hrmm#anyways . i kind of wish i had the ability 2 just talk to new people and not actually gaf ab the outcome#HELPP .. early tmblr or wcf or devart where u have thirty million friends 2 now where u r too scared 2 say hi to an almost friend .#me problem though . if not alr clear HEJAHHAAHA i think part of my reluctance also stems from the fact that i know i get this way#and so i dont want 2 rope someone else into that insecurity so i try to keep it at an arms length until i fix it#but i think i also know its a longer & more introspective thing to work on so i do need to just try anyways
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"We can delay the mission for another two minutes."
#crossposting from twitter#i really liked the post and i am obsessed with my own answer for it#so im posting it here too#first i wanted to use the i used corruption because i trusted you line#or of course you used corruption believing in me is a classic too#someone else did the latter already though on twt#anyways i ended up remembering this moment and went insane and posted it#wdym Dazai canonically said the end of the world can wait two minutes#just so Chuuya can have a real CHOICE#and he planned for an alternative too!! or well he was trying to#because he wanted to give him a REAL CHOICE#thinking about the lovecraft chapter and chuuya saying whenever Dazai says its his choice its not actually his#stopped typing here bc i went to discuss with Ray my thoughts about if Dazai leaves him a genuine choice every time and if Chuuya knows#came to the conclusion that Chuuya thinks its the illusion of a choice even though it isnt#the backup plan might be crazy and not as successful as a corruption plan would be but Dazai for sure always has one#nobody can convince me otherwise#uh ok this was a lot of rambling coughs#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#skk#dazai osamu#bsd#chuuya nakahara#bsd skk#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd stormbringer#xlillyle bsd threads
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you know something i don't like about modern culture (and i wonder to what extent the prevalence of dating apps has to do with it) is that you're, seemingly, not supposed to ask people you just meet in real life on a date anymore? you're supposed to ask them to see you individually to hang out, and you're not supposed to call it anything...? people act like declaring intent is impolite or something.
this absolutely sucks if you're a woman on the receiving end of this kind of thing all the time, from men you don't wanna see privately that way. i've felt so much guilt about it in my life. whether i say no or yes. i know i'm giving that man hope that it's a date, that i wanna go on a date with him if i agree to see him for coffee or whatever. but if i don't wanna go on this undeclared date, i have to reject the very concept of spending time with him at all, which feels SOOO much meaner and more personal, doesn't it? it feels like that to me. and if i do go, and i don't wanna go on another one (because i never enjoyed the it-pretty-much-being-a-date element of the time), it feels like i'm crushing his hopes after puffing them up just a little bit.
and it's like. "date" is not a dirty word. we have so many expectations nowadays around things. women used to sit around and wait for a man to propose to them, and it would be basically the only decision they could make in their life. not even really the choice to marry, but to whom they get married. and obviously marriage was very serious.
as courtship continued to develop into modern dating and boyfriend/girlfriend culture, it sort of decentralized the importance or marriage and valued getting to know someone you like romantically, with the implicit assumption that you're doing it with the attempt to better choose the 'right one' by spending quality time with them. decent enough. although even the words boyfriend and girlfriend are much more serious than they used to be. they did not always imply a serious commitment like they do today, especially if you're... basically, just not a kid anymore.
people have a certain amount of expectation of what anyone over 18 should do or want to do with a "partner"ālike, if this were the 1940s, i would've had several "boyfriends" in my adult life, but i never called them that, and the modern sense of that word would not be accurate. if i went on a date or two and flirted with them, that'd be enough to say "yeah i went out with a boyfriend." i'm mostly indifferent to this change of vocabulary, but the point is i have no word to describe any of those guys that i just gave a chance, never felt much for, and didn't wanna keep seeing. not bad things; it's just experience.
and if we aren't bold enough to call things dates for the sake of the atmosphere not losing the low-stakes nature... it's like, no, it doesn't do that. it's just two people spending time with the elephant in the room. perhaps that makes it feel more relaxed if both people really are doing it with the same intent, let's-just-see-if-we-get-along, figuring out if you like someone you don't really know very well yet. testing it. but like. that can be a date. that's what a lot of dates are. when you meet the person on a dating app and just grab coffee without setting higher expectations, you wouldn't hesitate to call it a date. if it's that person from your college class, that's ruder or more presumptuous, somehow?
a date doesn't have to be a candlelit dinner with the violinist standing by. a date doesn't have to be high romance. a date doesn't have to end with a kiss or lead to a commitment, if things go decently. a date certainly doesn't have to result in two people having sex. a date can be nonchalant and friendly and just trying to discover if you have any chemistry with this person who piqued your interest. why is that NOT the initial expectation anymore? why is "date" a dirty word? why?
#tales from diana#rant#i keep thinking about this because i asked my friends' advice on how to talk to wc. just approaching him and how to establish rapport#and i asked for advice bc i genuinely don't like any of my own ideas. we really are just awkwardly unfamiliar w each other#we need to move past hellos-in-the-hallway already goddammit... but i have few opportunities to make natural conversation w him at work#our jobs don't overlap much. y'know#and i AM taking their advice for what it's worth. i intend to. you know#they're going to help me message him sometime this week. and they might have to tie me up and take my phone to do it but it'll happen#but anyway my initial idea. which i admit was a bit hasty. was just telling him i think he's cute. like. not shocking imo#and that sorta does come from my sense of urgency at this point. i want to know what he thinks of me already!!!!#like dude if you think i'm cute too. let's just go on a date!#and i'm despairing the possibility of not having at least said that much before the end of the school year. since i wanna switch jobs#but that's not the thing you do nowadays i suppose? i guess that is a little bit of pressure. they were like 'thatll get UR anxiety up too'#not untrue. i GUESS. there's really no low-anxiety way for me to approach the guy ive had a silly crush on for over six months though#so they were talking over a possibility of me asking him for like coffee or something and being like 'dont call it a date' and im like. no?#i dont like it when ppl ask me on a date and dont call it a date. im supposed to do that to someone else now?#if he has any interest in me then surely he'll go along w it. but i worry about him bc i know (i ONLY know) what it's like to be on that en#i haven't asked anyone out or made the first move (really other than just nonchalantly flirting) ONCE in my adult life. havent wanted to#now that im on the initiating side im like. this is soooo stupid i wanna go on a DATE with you!! stupid!!#if i get so far as to hang out w him off of work just once. im not gonna let it last long before i declare intent#unless it's super awkward and we have no chemistry. which could happen. but if it goes well#AAAHHHH do you get it??? i think youre CUTE!! OBVIOUSLY. why do i have to do this stupid dance#like if youre gonna reject me romantically just reject me romantically. if he doesnt wanna meet up with me#well (cries) thats ok... but it's not like i'll ever try again lol#i'm gonna take that as romantic rejection anyway. so why not just say it? i dont get it. but ill do what the romans do
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me seeing a dog in the film. immediately pausing and looking up doesthedogdie.com
#HAPPY TO SAY THE DOG DOES NOT DIE THANK GOD THANK GOD AND THANK GOD#THATS WHAT THE DOG WAS FOR LMAO??????????????????#I WAS CONVINCED HE WAS GETTING PAST THE METAL DETECTOR SOMEHOW#were only 40 min into a 2 hr film?????????????????? what the hell else happens???? everything is happening so fast#OK SPOILERS AHEAD. BUT#HE WOULD HAVE SUCCEEDED IF HE HADNT DONE THE FUCKING SPEECH...#<- i guess the point is that he doesnt actually wanna like. murder someone. hands shaking etc.#but man...................... ofc it was too early in the film for him to succeed#and now the fight is so much bloody and worse#arguably thats what hes used to though huh. it seems that hes not used a gun before#mannnnn now i gotta be like does the alphonso die. ohhh#WHYD HE THROW THE GUN#ALSO NEVERMIND ON THE NOT WANTING TO MURDER PEOPLE LOL#awww mate ur about to die of infection.#i guess he wasnt necessarily thinking of an exit plan. like he was supposed to kill this guy even if he died after#but now like. is the guy even actually dead. bet hes still alive#oh hell yeah its trans people time???????#anyways this is patels directorial debut? its fucking awesome i hope he does more movies
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Remember how Viv only made Alastor as asexual because he apparently only loves himself?
PLEASE someone reblog with context for this i'm so curious. what does that even mean. does she think that asexual people are just really self righteous or something lmao???
#for someone who loves gay characters she really missed the nail on that one#'if you like men then that's just how you were born. if you don't want to fuck though that's probably because you think you're too good for#anyone else' like woooowwww ok just say you don't actually give a shit about queer characters w/o saying it#asks#vivziepop neg#vivziepop critical#hazbin hotel neg#hazbin hotel critical
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i keep fighting evil urges to post the tenna playlist i made again but last time i posted a screenshot of the song list I got embarrassed because nobody reacted to it I think possibly because I probably posted it at like 3am. (It's not particularly better than 3am right now.) (Also I can only post screenshots and not link to it because I keep adding and removing the same song repeatedly because I can't decide if it fits with the rest or not and I don't want to involve others in that.) It has Birdhouse In Your Soul on it i really want to inform everyone that Birdhouse In Your Soul is on it. I think it's a really good pick (I just like birdhouse in your soul all the time)
#theres also a vocaloid song that requires googling the translation to understand why i put it there. (not static) (that's there too though)#Birdhouse in your soul is also on the ralsei playlist i made in chapter 2 days that i've always been really proud of...#the ralsei playlist is interesting because it was made with some incorrect assumptions but I think it still works now without change#I was leaning a little on the idea that kris vaguely disliked ralsei but they actually definitely like him now (awesome)#and now a couple songs i put that had sort of like āI want to be your friend but its ok if i cantā thing have been recontextualized.#Because now we know for sure that's like a personal problem ralsei has.#How did all of the tags on this post end up being about Ralsei? The body of this post is about someone else.#mypost#dt#Is this even spoilers man what does this matterrrrrrrrrr#deltarune spoilers#I realized that it was due to what I discussed of ralsei in the tags.
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ok but do i want to actually sit and read through all the clockie animation stuff so i have better foundation for what i want to say? i guess
#avil plays hsr#idk if i actually want to write this ramble because i started rewatching a bunch of scenes that i needed to figure my thoughts out#but the more i gather the more im getting lost with myself so im like MMMMM#i gotta line these pieces up first#i think the trickiest thing about gallagher is wondering how much of what he says is true vs false#UH#ill just tag this as#hsr 2.1 spoilers#because thats the ramble in the tags#but like as a follower of enigmata hes prone to lying and conjuring even more riddles to confuse you#so i just have to wonder too#and if his whole facade as gallagher is fake. then how did he actually become part of the bloodhound?#sunday points out how gallagher stoles features from so many members of the family so. i just have to wonder#he couldnt have changed his identity without being noticed#so thats where i get confused. like How did you get in here in the first place using your disguise?#how did you fool people?#ANSWER MY QUESTIONS MAN (SHAKES GALLAGHER)#at the very least though: i think what he says about mikhail is true#i want to believe those are true even despite his false front#the things i want to talk about is like#well first i wanna make a whole timeline of the historical events of penacony#and that will give me a better idea of how things led to one another to present time#and THANKFULLY i rewatched because now i understand what gallagher meant possibly by traitor#but how did the family come to be?#how did the dreammaster come to be? (SHAKES THE GAME)#ok so i have to read more. so this will take longer#unfortunately maybe by the time i get all the information i want itll be too late and someone else wouldve said#SOMEONE PROBABLY DID#but i like the satisfaction of pulling the pieces together myself. thats the satisfaction of solving cases and puzzles āØ#my desk looks ridiculous now because its like. sticky notes everywhere because im like I HAVE TO MAKE NOTE OF THIS
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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that
if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it
#snap chats#no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game#oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k#OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think#my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious#rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final#HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE#i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that#i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki#someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it#like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but#i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital#the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe#cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3#its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think#it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little#and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly#idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me#THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED#i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell#is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form#i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments#BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow#im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE
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been making concepts for magical girl adukin au.. i am forming a semi-consistent plot & having fun.. i might draw some other characters in magical girl outfits even if ive sort of laid out what the "canon" magical girls are for the au, but idk who i would draw.. maybe fusakin and syumitaro because well. ones a balloon with a human body and the other is God
#ekurambles#i really like this au if i am being honest even if it is just for funsies.. been working on it inbetween doodles and requests#i have a lot of things jotted down on how adukin even like.. became a magical girl in the first place#& i definitely think it could tie into her feelings in the maingame after the events of mo3#with her feeling like she wasnt as good of a person as jack is but instead of getting manipulated by mdcr#she sacrifices her own selfworth to act more like a hero and force herself to be someone she isnt (āmagical girl aduā)#rather than accept who she is and not try to live as a cheap copy of someone who already loves & cares abt her *for* who she is.#taking on a much more dangerous nightlife as a magical girl just to feel like she can amount to any of what jack has done#& that'd probably also lead into jack and his magical boy form where he just wants to help protect her even though adukin hates that idea#she knows she can protect herself and she knows jack isnt trying to say that shes weak (he thinks shes really fucking strong)#but she cant accept his help without accepting herself first otherwise shes just going to keep comparing herself to someone-#-who already thinks shes perfect as the foulmouthed yet kind numa that she is#+ the whole thing with bachikin being the villain shes trying to defeat even if she doesnt know that#because like. she loves bachikin. it is an adubachi-based au afterall#bachikin is only doing these things to create what she thinks is a perfect world#where it's just her and adukin and nobody can judge them or keep them apart#shes been an awful person in the past and she doesnt know how to handle these emotions shes feeling#so she thinks that she has to deal with it the same way that she's dealt with all of her problems in the past#taking what she wants (adukin) and not letting anyone else near her#and bachikin is completely unaware that adukin is the one trying to stop her from doing this#probably in part because she doesnt want to believe that adukin wouldnt also want to live in that idealized world shes created for them-#-in her mind.#...Ok i gotta shut the fuck up this is way too long.
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Imso tired man. I'm so tired. Why do I work this hard I am so FUCKING over this shit
#this other bitch out here like haha woopsie i forgot to clock out for lunch even though ive been out for two hours :)#guess ill leave early today! heehee#YOU DONT DO ANYTHING. YOU FUCKED ME OVER YET AGAIN#i am SO FUCKING SICK of this shit. why do I have to be the one to suffer#why do i have to be the person who doesnt get a say in fuck all even though im doing THE MOST WORK#and then i have to sit here and act like she fucking knows what shes talking about wrt animals#IM THE ANIMAL KEEPER. I KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS DEPARTMENT BETTER THAN YOU#Im going crazy fucking insane right now#my coworker is out sick so ive had to do shit scheduled for three people. me. One person#and then im told shit like its just one class! ITS NOT#i have to break them up into two because its too big of a group#then i say ok we are doing reptiles over here#and shes like oh ummmm someone has it reserved for this time so can you do it in [place that is extremely loud]#and im like yeah ok fucking sure FINE#and then we get there and someone else is like ummmm we were told to est here for lunch by [her name]#and i radio her like UMMMM??????????#and shes like Oh woopsie i did tell them! you can do it at ummmm [3rd place]#im like yeah thanks for fucking wltting me know#Sorry im sorry thus is so extreme and petty but im like DROP DEAD#youve made my work life hell when it doesnt have to be because YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB#FUCK!!!!!#YOU get to have a social life becaus you do whatever the FUCK YOU WANT#YOU get paid way more than me to do FUCK ALL#YOU dont have 30+ living beings depending on you every day#shut the fuck UP#I am so mad that i work so fucking hard and it doesnt fucking matter#so yeah sorry for starry spam but i think hes nice and right now the only thing keeping me from fucking losing it at work#along with a 1 min video of kookaburras im plahing over and over
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i think it's beautiful how different everyone is and how we can all work together in our own little ways to help each other out but the fact that it's so easy to feel ashamed of your own difference makes me so sad
#like you can feel alienated SO easily even though everyone is technically an alien to each other#in the sense that we're all different and unknown to the other#becahse it is kinda impossible to know someone fully like completely#only you yourself would know#and sometimes even you might not#idk if this makes sense i just feel really. sad i guess#because even after everything we rarely ever celebrate different and only try our hardest to like#force people to always be a certain way experience the same things#even though that's literally not how life works#this is not to say that i'm against community! pls don't take it that way#shared experiences and even just in general friends and community are great#(lmao this sounds like i'm talking about the TV shows)#but like y'know?#in life in general i wish feeling different was a good thing#i don't want to feel ashamed of being different becahse i An different#and that's okay#and everyone else is different too and that's great#this has just been bothering me a lot lately#zzz#ok to rb#it's not a rant just me thinking thoughts
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