#though the description of the show doesnt really point to that

[princess-jellyfisher]

Im only on episode 2 of Clannad but like...this chick is definitely a ghost right?? I'm almost positive

[wackywatchdotcom]

Rewatching episode one, I noticed that when Ragatha and Jax are talking to each other about Jax having a key, Pomni flinches away from, and lifts her arms to protect her face and head, when Jax toys with the key and catches it near her.

I wonder if she is that jumpy around others normally or if it's just when she's in a stressful situation (like suddenly being trapped in the circus) what do you think?

OK. ok. you mention this. and ive never said anything about it but i have genuinely noticed this almost every time ive seen that scene. i think about it a LOT but i havent been able to figure out my thoughts on it. but i think about it genuinely a LOT...

(i went on a huge tangent abt her thats like. only sporadically related to this specific moment SORRY. it was hard to address this moment without discussing a LOT about her i feel)

for the sake of clarity in the event someone reading this is unfamiliar, what this ask is referring to is this:

with the way that she so quickly dissociates and HARD (not that most people Never experience dissociation or smth, but its the intensity of it and how quick into this situation she starts dissociating is like. it makes it seem like its smth her body and mind are Used To Doing) she REALLY gives off the feeling that she had pre-existing mental health problems (i struggle to place anything TOO specific with the limited information we have but i feel like theres definitely a few things she has going on) before she even got to the circus, and like she COULD just be a naturally jumpy person, but with the dissociation thing and general distrust towards others, it feels like her jumpiness is also related to these issues

while her being naturally nervous is sort of implied and clear (though i think the extent of it is exaggerated by the circumstances of the pilot in particular) there ARE a few other examples that stand out to me

i THINK this can largely be passed off as her just being on edge from the horror adventure, but i this is IS notable that she reacts genuinely pretty strongly to what is a relatively minor 'jumpscare.' it happens later too w kinger pressing the tape recorder

in general she seems VERY easily startled by people, and frankly it reads a lot like it stems more from people being near her than just things happening abruptly. she notably doesnt jump hard when the angel arrives- she DOES get scared, but she isnt necessarily startled. she DOES react very strongly to ghostly, but i think its notable that she seems to find his visual appearance frightening and debatably not necessarily startling, but thats not really 100%. the times she reacts the strongest have to do with people, which imo ties HARD into her not trusting people

episode 2 breaks down her distrust of people well, and i dont think its a self consciousness thing. it seems more that she just doesnt tend to find people trustworthy- if something bad was happening to her, she would sooner assume theyd let it happen rather than help her. it could be argued that its partially a guilt or projection thing with ragatha, but im not actually so sure. pomni seems to be ashamed of leaving her behind, but particularly through ep 2 she doesnt seemed Plagued With Guilt by the way she acts towards ragatha, which implies that the dream didnt have to do with her projecting that shame in a way shed assume ragatha would turn back on her, too

it instead seems to be that she doesnt trust ragatha just... in general. the 'im not a child' thing, while a legitimate problem for pomni to have with ragatha (i love ragatha, and from my place in the audience i know her concern is genuine, and that she truly wants to encourage pomni, and is trying, but from the perspective of people around ragatha, its not an unreasonable assumption that shes JUST being infantilizing and belittling), does illuminate how pomni is seeing ragathas attempts at cheering her up- that it comes from a place of seeing pomni as immature or generally unstable. that pomni is incapable of managing herself and needs to be coaxed. it implies pomni doesnt see ragathas attempts at help as genuine. combined with her dream, that ragatha would allow the worst to happen to her even when she was asking for help, makes it very clear that, even with the 'nicest' person in the circus, pomni just... doesnt really trust her

(it is worth noting that pomni DOES seem to genuinely want to help ragatha in the pilot. she DID try to find caine. but she bolts at the first opportunity. she does care about people, but when stressed, she operates on keeping herself safe first and foremost, that she needs to do anything to get out of a bad situation even if that means leaving someone behind- and with her dream, it does seem that she generally assumes other people operate similarly, or otherwise in their own best interest)

this does, of course, improve by the end of eps 2 and 3. the funeral, and ragatha offering to include her, and how the others talk about abstracted players (combined with her conversation with gummigoo, someone who she has to assure has genuine friendships with those around him despite the lack of a true reality for them to be based upon), are able to convey that oh, these people do actually care about the people around them. theyre being genuine. they arent just looking out for themselves and thats it- they care when bad things happen to each other. and theres no true reason for me to be an exception. which is ALSO why i dont think its a self consciousness thing, she seems able to reason that shes not an exception to the intents of others, so much that when she cant assure herself that others' intents hold her safety as any sort of priority as well, any trust goes out the window. she WANTS to help if she can, but esp in the pilot, as far as shes concerned, its everyone for themself when shit gets bad, including herself

ep 3, she seems more trusting of ragatha- she has neutral and positive interactions w her, rather than assuming a lack of sincerity in it. but its not just ragatha, actually, because even before her talk with him, you can see it in how she interacts with kinger as well

she initially tries to help him run, which isnt too out there- with how she genuinely DID initially try to help ragatha, it doesnt require her to go out of her way to grab him and RUN. she can run AND take him with her. she can help without putting herself in extra danger. but then she DOES go back, which is one of my favorite and imo underrated pomni moments. because THIS is what i think actually highlights an improvement in how she sees the others before her apologizing to ragatha or taking kingers hand. because she puts herself BACK into (percieved, since its not actual sure WHAT the angels intentions were her) danger in order to get kinger away too

(theres probably a case to be made that ragatha didnt seem to be in immediate danger- she was in pain, that much was clear, but kaufmo had ran away by then. but even still, pomni couldnt have known kaufmo would shift gears and start chasing her instead of ragatha that first time. and i dont know if she actually knew death wasnt possible here yet. which isnt very flattering for pomni but also people do not act in flattering ways under extreme stress, esp given a predisposition to not trusting others, which ill elaborate more on in a second here- not that pomnis abandonment was ok OR that it was like evil of her or smth. shes just a person. there is no way she was prepared to know how to act correctly in this situation, and she didnt)

theres also this

which is SUBTLE but highlights a genuine increase in trust even before their heart to heart. now that she knows the cast (save for jax, who she seems to react to the harshest, which is worth noting imo) are not acting solely in their own best interest, that they WILL consider the wellbeing of those around them including her, that their concern for one another is genuine (which is concerning that she even assumes that to begin with, which ill circle back to momentarily), she very clearly has way more faith in them and the idea that she should stick around the others for safety

and of course, ive said it before, but her taking kingers hand has little to do with her enjoying holding hands. its her knowing that, if kingers wrong, this is going to end very, very badly. if holding their breath isnt the solution theyre BOTH going to get possessed, and who knows how theyd get out of that situation. but she decides in that moment that her trust in the others isnt ONLY about looking out for them and believing that theyre sincere in their concern for her. but that she is willing to let the others put her at a potential massive risk. getting possessed was a blatantly immediately traumatic experience- and she lets kinger put her at risk of it happening again. THATS why she holds his hand, at least symbolically. she doesnt like contact. but she can brave something that she doesnt like, she can let him lead her into and through something potentially horrific, because shes deciding to trust him and the others, that theyre not just people she can interact with without fear of ill intentions, but that theyre people who she is going to coexist with. the best thing she can do for herself and the others is trust them and work with them actively

anyway that got off-track, the point being that her having to have these ideas instilled in her at all through shared experiences and trauma implies that, while these issues with distrust may have been exacerbated by the stress of everything, they didnt come from nowhere. these are problems she likely already had to some degree. its great that theres been improvement but that improvement directly implies thesse were improvements that needed to be made to begin with. and the fact that the person she gets repeatedly most startled by is jax. who, even with episode 2, she explicitly doesnt trust. in the pilot, at least, her distrust is more vague (i think the dream sequence in ep 2 IS what highlights it best) so her flinching from jax can be passed off as related to a general lack of adjustment to the new environment and situation shes in. but it happens again with jax in episode 3 (and, notably, she pauses afterwards but it takes a moment for her to relax even knowing its just jax), after shes adjusted somewhat, and after shes gained some trust with everyone except for jax (given his absence from the scene at the end of ep 2). it also happens when barons voice plays abruptly next to her

point being that imo, she IS naturally jumpy. she says herself that she doesnt handle jumpscares well, which somewhat implies this even outside of the circumstances of the circus. but with how she reacts to things, it feels like her general jumpiness is far, far worse when it comes to people she doesnt trust (be it because jax is Like That, or because shes not familiar with baron). the way i see it, then, her distrust extends to perceiving physical threats easily around people she hasnt ensured are safe to be around. she IS able to gain this trust in people, but she seems to automatically place the intents of others as being Potentially Unsafe from the jump, especially under stress. she can jump back from it fairly quickly for what its worth, but to be honest, it seems more like she operates on some general, everpresent level of hypervigilance thats just sometimes worse based on the situation

and frankly i dont think we know enough about her as of ep 4 to fully determine if there IS a reason for this. because someone can have a reason to be this jumpy around others, or they can just... be nervous and dislike people moving suddenly near them. combined with the dissociation thing, though, im inclined to think the circus did not cause this, just made it more extreme with more unpleasant stakes. there is hardly any time between her entering the circus and this happening. she hadnt even seen kaufmo yet in that very first example, but she was already on alert for a physical threat, and i just. i think about it all the time...

i think the main takeaway from all of this is that i think she isnt necessarily jumpy like that all the time, but i think trust is not a given with pomni, and her jumpiness massively depends on how much she trusts people near her and the situation shes in to not be a physical threat to her. its definitely worse in the circus, but i think it was probably still something present in a different context in the real world, too

[lufyuu]

Protagonist's wants

Tws: fucking in someone else's house, semi public.

Description: a drabble showing why River is one of 2 freaky ocs of mine

River quite literally doesn't give a fuck where the two of you are. If he's horny, he'll fuck you. This is almost common knowledge for you at this point even if it's only been a couple months since the two of you got together. He takes 'anytime, anywhere' seriously. The only drawback from this is that he's quite the childish fellow. If he wants it, he better get it! This became quite obvious one starry night.

Almost everyone's been invited to Kevin's party. The popular jock everyone knew and loved. Well, maybe not the second part but still! His parties are known to be lively and fun, who would want to miss it? Apparently River does.

"I'm not going", he states while paying little attention to what you just said. Just like any other normal person, you shrug it off. If he isn't going, then you'll just have to go with your friends. "Alright", was all you answered as you made yourself toast as a light snack. With the party starting in just an hour or two, you figured it'd be best to eat a bit now, get ready, and then call up your friends to pick you up. The toaster clicks, indicating your toast is ready. While being careful, you grab it out of the toaster and take a bite. It crunches as you do. River who has been focused on his phone while sitting on the couch, turns around to look at you. Or rather, the piece of toast. "Let me have a bite", you take a few more bites before giving him what's left of it. More like you shove it into his open mouth. Either way, he chews and swallows it. As he's still on his phone, he doesnt notice you going to his bedroom to "borrow" an outfit. He's a pretty stylish guy so nothing can go wrong. You open his closet and immediately spot one that catches your eye. Of course, you take it out and change into it. He wouldn't mind his boyfriend borrowing his clothes, would he?

You admire yourself in the mirror. His outfit fits and suits you like a glove! Practically made just for you. You can't help but take a picture! You finish getting ready and exit the room looking as good as ever. Probably even better. This time, River notices you and puts his phone to the side. "Are those my clothes?", he recognizes it to which you just nod, paying no mind. River, still confused, asks "are you going to the party??", as if it's the most confusing thing he's ever heard. "Well yeah, my friends will pick me up", you grab whatever you need and are about to head out when River stops you in your tracks. "Tell them you don't need them to pick you up, I'm going", he gets up from the couch and strolls over to his room.

Moments later, he comes out looking fresh. His hair isnt a mess anymore, his outfit makes him look expensive. He strides over to the counter and grabs his keys. "Get in the car", he walks towards the car and grabs your wrist, dragging you with him. You don't even have a say in the whole arrangement. Before you even knew it, the two of you arrive at the party.

The partying crowd notices River's car and Kevin immediately goes up to the window. River doesn't bother to roll it down, he's not a big fan of his Jock personality. Even though it's muffled, you can hear Kevin's voice from outside the vehicle, "hey Riverrr, I'm glad you finally showed up! It's the first time you've ever came", he's all giddy about the fact River Sterling came to his party. He'd always invited the latter but River had always declined or just a no show. It's quite rare to see him at a party. Kevin has you to thank. If it werent for you coming, River would have stayed home doing God knows what.

When the two of you step into the large house, it was clear nobody's going to leave the place sober. "[Name]? There you are!", one of your friends comes up to you, followed by the others, "y'know, we were really confused when you suddenly told us to not pick you up", he sighs, "we thought you'd abandoned us! But turns out you're here with your boyfriend", your other friend, Erie, looks at River up and down, jokingly rolling her eyes at him. "Well, we'll be stealing your boyfriend away now!", she says before grabbing your wrist and running deeper into the house with the whole friendgroup following not too far behind, leaving River dumbfounded. Though, it's not long that he's snapped out of his trance as a group of people gather around him seeing as his boyfriend's gone to have some fun. "River, let's have a few drinks", someone says, holding a shot a bit too close to his lips. Gosh, it reminds River why he hates parties.

You, on the other hand, are having lots of fun. It's the first time in a while since you've last felt so free. It really doesnt hurt to let loose a little sometimes. Gossiping like there's no tomorrow while munching on some fries. There's no crowd gathering around you, only a handful of your close friends. "Literally I saw our Chemistry professor being lovey dovey with Ms Miller", "the Biology teacher!?", "isn't he with the dance teacher??", everyone takes their turn in sharing their knowledge of the situation. You only sit back and enjoy hearing the things being said.

After an hour or two, Evie heads to get to know a few underclassmen and upperclassmen while the others head to get some more snacks. You're the only one on the couch, enjoying some fruit punch. Despite the loud music, you find yourself relaxing a bit, to the point you close your eyes. Through the loud music, you can hear an even noiser sound coming from behind. When you turn around, you see a crowd. They're almost tripping one another just to get the attention of someone. 'He can deal with it', you think to yourself, already knowing who's in the middle of all this. He must be used to all this attention. "Agh! Please let me through!", it's not very often you see River struggling in the middle of a crowd. The last time you saw him in one, he looked relaxed and was frankly enjoying the attention. Look at him now, struggling to get through. You can't help but let out a small laugh before turning back around to enjoy the rest of your beverage.

[Love Quest!]

Even though you've seen this window a lot, it still baffles you whenever you see it. Especially when you're out no less! There's no way to complete the quest, this is crazy! "River you jerk!", you turn to curse at him but he's no longer there, instead, you feel a hand grabbing your wrist. "Hey, let's get out of here", you hear a whisper as you get pulled roughly. Obviously it's River but it really is a wonder how fast it took him to get to you. You almost trip while trying to keep up with River's pace, it's as if he's in a rush to find something. Fortunately for the two of you, nobody follows behind.

The two of you arrive in an empty, dark and somewhat quiet room where he pins you to the wall, "River! What are you even thinking!", you yell at him, looking up to face him eye to eye, "fucking hell, I thought I was going to go crazy", he continues, "this is why I hate parties", he's most likely referring to the fact he was being surrounded and chased down almost the whole time he's been at the party. In hindsight it was definitely not something to laugh about. "Then let's leave okay? I'm sorry for making you come here", you suggest, trying to get out of his grip but he doesnt let go, "an apology wont do it, didn't you see that window?", he points at the window that is on your right, gosh you almost forgot about if it werent for him pointing that out, "we can complete it at home–", "no, since we're in an empty room now, I say we finish it right now", his tone leaves no room for retaliation. The protagonist will always get what he wants, even if it's a good fucking in someone else's hallway.

With your hands being pinned to the wall and your ass left completely exposed to River, he has an easy time thrusting into you. You face the wall, trying to hold in your moans in order not to be discovered by the people partying away downstairs by biting your lip. Rivers thrusts are relentless in their attack. He groans and even lets out a few quiet moans, completely shameless. Usually you wouldnt be this worried about being discovered as River puts an invisible barrier between the two of you and the rest but this time he decided to not do that and risk the chance of the two of you being caught fucking while there's a party going on. "R-River please.. I cant keep holding in my— aH!", you involuntarily let out quite a loud moan, prompting a few people to look around for the source of the noise. Your eyes widen at the noise you just made, turning around to try and glare at River. He doesnt even stop thrusting into you, infact, he does it even harder and faster now that he's heard you moan.

You can feel yourself getting close to your climax, some tears well up. River shows no sign of stopping. The sound of skin against skin is not too loud but loud enough that if someone went up the stairs, they'd be able to hear everything. "Isn't this exciting..", he stops to whisper in your ear. You turn to look at him with pleading eyes, "p-please...I want to cuM...!", your begging words drove something in him. "Whatever you want, angel", he teases and starts to pump into you again. This time, chasing his own climax too. It's almost as if all the self control you had just dissappeared, "gosh, you're tighter now", you can barely hear him say while you're a moaning mess, not caring if they heard you anymore. "A-ahh River ngh", you close your eyes, the pleasure getting to you. The two of you are in yout own little world, River fucking you roughly as you take it like you always do. "That's it, let out your pretty little voice", he seems very satisfied in making you almost yell out his name in pleasure. Eventually, you couldn't hold it anymore, "c-cUmMinG...gH", you splurt all over Kevin's wall. His hallway wall. Though in this very moment, you don't even think about it. Why should you anyways, you're too busy being pounded. With you cumming, your hole becomes tighter which brings even more pleasure to the man abusing your hole. It doesn't take long for him to thrust deep inside of you and unload his cum inside. Your legs give out and you almost fall but River catches you before that happens.

You're barely conscious when the two of you descend the stairs, face to face with the party goers. "What were you guys doing up there?", Kevin goes up to River with a curious look. River only smiles eerily, "curiosity killed the cat", and exits the party with you in hand. You're too tired to even comprehend anything. When you get into the passenger seat, it's almost as if an off button was pressed as you fall into a deep sleep until the two of you arrive to River's place.

The next day, you're laying on the couch with your boyfriend sitting next to you. You're mindlessly scrolling on your phone. Not thinking much about what happened last night. It's quite common for River to fuck you anywhere and everywhere, you were a bit shocked at first but got over it after the whole thing blew over. You don't pay much attention on River until you hear him chuckle a bit. A half smirk emerges on his face as he looks at his phone, "what are you smirking about?", you question which he dismisses, "nothing, just a very cute picture", he puts his phone into his pocket. Maybe he should go to parties more often, he'll get to see more of that adorable nervous face of yours!

══════════════════════════════

I'm back! As promised, here is a freaky drabble of River, but I went a bit overboard, and it turned into a short fic instead😅

[bucksbeagle]

yayyy at your response to that last anon, I'm also really hoping the story is more focused on chris and his parents. even the description makes it seem like this is what it will be... chris finds eddie in an unfamiliar situation, meaning it will be a point of tension between chris and eddie. not eddie finds himself in an unfamiliar situation, suggesting its an internal conflict for eddie

also I agree I don't think the show is going there and eddie's sexuality will be left somewhat ambiguous (like buck, who always loved women but also kisses men), but I've always thought they could easily explain the shannon thing by having eddie realize he loved her, but he was never really in love with her, and subsequently this would make him realize he doesnt just love buck but hes in love with him. but bc shannon is dead it would have to happen via someone who knew their relationship and also loves eddie, so his abuela or (presumably) his sisters or maybe pepa. so unlikely this would happen in a satisfying way lol

honestly i think the upcoming stuff is going to be like. chris realizing his dad is a human? which, no fault on chris for this btw a lot kids struggle with realizing its their parents’ first time on earth too. and from the sounds of it it seems like eddie is gonna have conflict with his mom and id rather them focus on that than an actual queer awakening

i do think eddie is going to realize while he’s in texas but i don’t think its going to be the Main thing by any means

and i dont think anyone can really help eddie unpack his relationship with shannon if im being honest. maybe his abuela? but his sisters were young and pepa also didnt like shannon even if she wasn’t cruel about it like eddies parents. i just think its going to be a case of “i loved shannon before, but im in love with buck now” and that will be that

even though they tackle queer stuff, 911 isnt a show that delves heavily into queer themes tbh? i hope sometime we get to hear buck say he’s bisexual, but its not the end of the world to me if he doesnt.

[djuvlipen]

what are your thoughts on the kane chronicles and how they handle representation? its been forever since i read them but i liked them better than pjo when they came out. though i always thought it was a strange choice that the kids are biracial but sadie looks just like their mom and carter looks just like their dad, technically possible with genetics but less likely.

i think the kane chronicles had massive potential but as always with rick he really fumbled. when i re-read them i kept getting confused about how old sadie is supposed to be, it kept changing every book. thats also common with rick, he doesnt really keep tracks on his characters' description, thats how you get silena (in pjo) who changes eye colour every single book or something. it also doesn't make sense to me that sadie looks literally identical to white people (white skin, light eyes, blond hair) while carter is a dark-skinned black boy. like ofc mixed siblings can look supeeer different but this doesnt seem realistic. out of his non-pjo series it is the one that intrigues me the most though, simply because it seems much more original. im obsessed with the "hidden name" thing and with sadie and carter's dynamic. it also taught me some about egyptian mythology, which im really not that knowledgeable about.

that being said, i always got the impression that it is also the series rick was the less interested about (and thats pretty blatant considering it's also the shortest of his series + the characters he introduces in it don't show up in mcga or toa the way hoo or pjo characters do) (it's also the series the fandom cares the less about). like it seems to me he wrote it on a whim just to look original and get diversity points, and it shows in the little interest he took in actually researching egypt. his description of the country is riddled with orientalist stereotype like he jumps from cairo to the countryside with no transition and i remember thinking the place looks pretty empty and filled with tropes too. "zia" isn't even a real name? like...

i also don't like that he put sadie, a 12yo (allegedly), in a love triangle with walt (16yo) and anubis (5000yo) and that she ends up dating the two of them (as a throuple). 12yo girls don't work like that... it just feels like sexualization. he did the same thing with hazel. what's fucked up too is that both hazel and sadie are black, and black teenage girls (and pre-teens!) are already super sexualized in general

[indigos-stardust]

Four Keys: Skhadu (Shadow)

Other Characters: Buwe - Flicker

So I'm gonna be real guys I am filled with guilt that I have not posted their lore and stories, I'm just too much of a perfectionist so I'm just gonna ramble like I'm talking to a friend so I can get all of this out

Tw for child abuse, but its not descriptive its just part of his story

So Skhadu is an illegitimate prince of the draconic people in this fantasy world. He hates his father (Ganondorf <3) and his fathers Advisor/Mage (Vaati <3) even more!

He hates not having real power but still being forced into doing crap for everyone and then not even having the freedom to make his own choices.

Hes kinda been forced into this enforcer role, where he kinda has to terrorize anyone trying to plan some rebellion or coup or whatever. There's a lot of issues especially with the Kings great hibernation coming and the rumor of their only valid heir, Skhadu's half sister, being extremely ill. Like "Oh hey I might die" ill.

She would be the one with the crown and guardianship of their fathers Realm (kingdom wise and centuries nap wise). So if she's out for the picture, or at least weak, then that leaves alot of room for plenty of others to take a chance at power.

Point is though, Skhadu still has to attend stffy formal events, be constantly controlled so he doesnt "Embarrass the crown even more", and train to just do whatever everyone else orders him to do. The training is very brutal, and with Vaati being the one teaching him his magics? No very fun...

Not to mention he's constantly disrespected and humiliated, he has no choice, no freedom... just occasionally pity. It's what his father said preventing him from being killed.

So Skhadu runs away. He's still a prince. Just a Prince of Theives now. Or that's what he proclaims anyways.

He wants to make as much money as possible with as much chaos and fun as he wants thank you very much! Get real power on his own! Cause as much chaos and destruction however HE wants to! Not worry about responsibilities or appearances! Or Vaati threatening to lock him in a cage for two weeks without any food again! Adventure! maybe a girlfriend! Freedom! Money!! That he can actually use!!!

He even has the skills for it too- All his years stealing, sneaking, and fighting Vaati has payed off! And he's not only read about plenty of techniques, he's even learnt from other thieves<3 he's definitely found his place

SURPRISE: The heir, his half sister, really is ill. Fatally. He is the next best thing to an heir they have. The closet thing to keeping power in the family. They'll offer him whatever he wants if he comes back.

Skhadu does not want to come back. He finally got real freedom. Real happiness. He understands how much the "power" he'd get is just a lie. He's not interested. Responsibilities are gross. He'll live in secret and have an AWESOME time doing that thank you very much. The colorfully worded letter containing his own scales proves that.

So the manhunt ensues. He'll never be caught- Hes too smart, too clever-The crumbling Kingdom can suck it and figure out their own issues! Not force him to! Hed rather end up in a jailhouse again than being publically executioned whenever a new coup shows up.

Or just live in hell being nothing but Vaati's puppet. He knows he can't run away forever though.

Buuuuuuut, something does catch his eyes...

There's some little haggle of misfit adventurers looking for some "triforce" artifact or whatever. Something about "finding the sacred keys" or some crap. It sounds like a bunch of guys high of fairy dust believing in some folk tale, but Skhadu knows better. Because he knows that's what his father was searching for. To restore the power of their kingdom, and become a god. Skhadu had just thought he was a madman. But with the evidence he's seeing... Maybe Ganondorf is not.

It's supposed to take the energy of one's soul and mix it with their greatest desire. Fueled by the raw magic of the elements, their wildest dreams can come true... Even defeating death.

Its.. probably an exaggeration, but based on the actual viable magical documents, it does seem entirely possible he could use it to save his sister. He's NOT doing it because he "cares" about her or whatever. Shes stuck up and overly perfect! Skhadu is just doing it for his own interest, its a dog eat dog world afterall. If she can be the heir then they'll stop hunting him, and he'll be free!

Besides, those adventurers or whatever? They're a bunch of saps, it'' be super easy to trick them! He'll just let them do all the hard work and steal it from them at the very end! Yes, yes, he IS a genius, and a very handsome one at that.

Sure he'd be a traitor to the throne and his new "friends", but really, what's one more lie to the pile?

[hanasnx]

I carnally crave a description of Logan/Reader’s (in the I Was Made For Lovin You universe) wedding. who was there? did they kiss? (i know the answer, but what happened instead?) was it entirely just a legal thing or did he put on a suit for her? did they make a day of it? also, what point in Logan’s life is this written during? before he was an x-man? is the reader essentially in Kayla’s place??

dude i have so many questions; i would love to pick your brain, if you’re up for it.

i loved this ask so so much!! ive been thinking about it since i read it when i woke up

the way i imagine it is yes, essentially reader is in "kayla's place" in the x-men origins era. even tho its a trash movie i love it sm and he looks so good in it. now you'll need to suspend some belief here for me because this is after logan's got the adamantium procedure, he's still got his memories, his house in the mountains, his construction job, and before he was an x-men. so. not very canon compliant im jumping thru a lot of hoops because its a self indulgent piece written thru the lens of fantasy to explore my own experiences and psychology

neither of them have any family or any friends to speak of. logan has a bad habit of picking up and caring for strays and youre a stray, so to speak. he takes on the responsibility of "caring for you" and youve got no one else. the marriage is official and legal, but there was no kiss, just signatures on the marriage contract. you live with logan in alberta, canada, but you got married in the states to avoid needing a witness and any extra hoops. basically a court house marriage

knowing logan it was a rather dry affair, there was nothing really celebratory about it. as soon as you two were officially married there was no hug or grins or anything, it was just another day. for logan, this is a commitment he takes very seriously, and marriage is just a way to show his intent, he doesnt need anything extra about it. no suits and ties, no dresses, just casual clothes and paperwork.

once you show a little disappointment for how things turned out, even though you told him before that it was all okay, i think hed sigh and turn the wheel of his truck (heading back across the border to canada) and go in to a store. tells you to wait there he'll be back, and you ignore your slight shivering. comes out with two dinky plastic cups and a bottle. turns the heat on for you and pops the bottle, pours you two glasses of champagne. "here you go, kid," he tells you, pushing the cup against your palm. he bumps his cup against yours, "mazel" he says and downs the contents. even though its small, its something. and its done in logan's way, and you love logan. your cheeks are a little warmer now from the drink and you feel better about it the day. he even holds your hand while he drives to keep it warm with his body heat, and to help you feel like he did this because he loves you

by all means pick my brain! i loved this ask

[scph1001]

end of the year yes sir yes sir.

as always id say the rows are more exact than the actual rankings but some of the edge ones are iffy.

sadly i did not finish metaphor in time- ill likely finish it within the next week though. if i had finished metaphor in time (and if the ending doesnt suck shit out of nowhere) it would have been third. i respect it alot more than P3R- and though i have a list of complaints i thought metaphor was a wonderful game

playing killer7 was crazy!!!! i knew i had to play after seeing the cloudman cutscene and it really did deliver. it made me feel like i was playing MGS2 for the first time again and i think thats the highest praise i could give a game. in another world where MGS2 wasnt the first game to really get me into the medium- killer7 would have been my favorite game. absolutely timeless. incredible combat and i admire the way it jumps topic to topic and doesnt really offer true finality to a couple of its points.

chulip now thats an all timer 👆 very adorable video game i like that its mean to the player but also has a kind heart. for whatever reason my joykill spirit doesnt activate for chulip- and there probably is a bit to say on how it treats women- but its not the worst ever and the game is not too pushy about bothering her. very very good ending sequence. great gameplay loop

honestly i dont even think i like P3R much. it was just the first game me and alot of the people i know were excited about in a long time and i have really fun memories playing it and getting it on release. honestly i thought about it while writing this and ended up just making a backloggd review lol

not much to say about katamari. its one of those games for me. yeah i enjoyed it but i have so little to say so maybe i shouldnt rank it so high but i fuck with its vision alot.

SMT1 is not fun to play but i really do admire its existence and atmosphere. incredibly cool

i still have complex feelings about SMTVV since its everything i wanted but its also lame as shit. tao and yoko remind me of ariana and cynthia during the wicked press tour lowkey. also i think SMTVV got worse after metaphor came out and ATLUS started showing off some actually good dungeons

earthbound was alright honestly i dont feel strongly about it and if it didnt have its presentation and unique manner of speaking to the viewer it would be a 3/5

jack bros was actually good im not exaggerating

baroque was cool but also im not very into it- its a 4/5 out of respect for it

shadow of memories was crazy everyone go play shadow of memories

i honestly fucked with P1 alot in terms of style/vibes but theres not much more to say about it and the story and characters arent special

gitaroo man was hard as shit but the music was fun

the parappa 2 music was fun but gitaroo man had more swag

i do not care about hypnospace sorry everyone.

im not the biggest fan of P2IS and P2EP just felt like a worse version of P2IS so i was never gonna be really into it. i do admire its vision and i think its pulling off what FFVIIR is trying to do better- but still not good

i respect the answer- but i just do not like P3 combat. a game of just P3 combat is going to fall flat for me. and honestly for a game about death (P3)- maybe there shouldnt be an answer.

dragon warrior was cute but i cant really give it high praise. for its time- great revolutionary. now? its alright.

i hated LIVE A LIVE that shit sucked

[wackywatchdotcom]

I wonder if Ragatha and Jax are the doomed individuals then based on the theme song. Kaufmo is already gone, and I feel like they might also be on the way out. (Or maybe in some other way, Zooble & gangle & Kinger are the ones who are at least Managing in the circus while Ragatha and Jax seem to be in their own relative self destructive spirals about it?)

ive considered this!!!! i need to think on it....

i do honestly think that its gonna be REALLY hard to predict who abstracts so early in the show (i mean ep 4 sounds far in in relation to 9 eps but i think in terms of any hints for things it can be challenging before reaching the true halfway point- i feel like at least. esp since any possible foreshadowing could also be representing smth other than abstraction!!! its unclear...) but that SAID it does fascinate me and makes me a little concerned for those two HAHA. im assuming its representative of smth else if anything, but i dont think its something we have the information to deduce yet..... though jax and ragatha have been among the most closely associated with something AWFUL happening to them, which Doesnt Bode Well .....

ragatha and jax are definitely the characters who seem most like theyved succumbed to the circus. kinger too, but he has in a both healthy AND unhealthy way (he walks a beautifully thin line i think)- jax and ragatha have both allowed themselves to be a part of the circus, and it calls to mind how gooseworx has described abstraction. that "you get stripped of every bit of individuality you have, and become something completely unrecognizable." and really, that description can be painfully easily applied to jax and ragatha. combined w the theme song thing its a bit concerning...

its notable though that kinger and gangle are both, on paper, the most likely to abstract. kinger is easily scared, has been here a long time, lost his wife, etc. gangle is implied to have almost abstracted in ep 4 (i mean its not confirmed but i feel like the audio cues and visuals are there for a reason- esp since a less abstraction based depiction of self destruction is shown right after, and what would be the point of including both if they were both supposed to convey 'gangle is unhappy and unhealthy?' it would make the sequence w gangle and pomni pointless i feel. and sidenote that it implies that abstraction is not smth the person experiencing it is likely to notice. that theres likely no visual cues for when its abt to happen other than the person seeming unwell)

but that said, jax and ragatha are both unwell in a more progressive way that spirals over a long period of time. where kinger and gangle seem more like theyre just already operating at a lower point than others, jax and ragatha 'have it together' except they obviously dont and have clearly been on some downward spiral for a long, long time. zooble doesnt have the same 'looks like theyd lose it at any moment' but they dont seem to have the same history of self destructiveness by their own coping mechanisms that those two have. it makes jax and ragatha seem more like, if they go further into this spiral, its much, much harder to get them out- putting them at arguably greater risk. gangle and kinger may be more vulnerable on paper, but i think they have an adaptability to emotions that jax and ragatha maybe dont quite have? (for lack of a better description- i could be wording that incorrectly) they havent dug themselves into pits they cant get out of like jax and ragatha have, so to speak- possibly because jax and ragatha HAVE succumbed to the circus so hard

and like i mean maybe im reading too much into things, but i also feel like in writing something that is INCREDIBLY important is what the audience sees first. and what the audience sees first is caines intro, bubble (who i feel like is meant to be less of his own character and mroe a symbolic extension of caine and his building arc and character), and the theme song. which makes me feel like theres a lot more going on in it than it seems- but its hard to fully determine what means what without more context... gangle being the VERY first cast member addressed in the show just feels very interesting then... but maybe her name just worked best to go first lyric wise HAHA

maybe its also worth mentioning that the character im most scared for is zooble though... and its a silly reason. but i feel like of all the Possible Foreshadowing there is, theirs is the most subtle but concerning to Me. and its this:

they keep getting tossed into pits, one of which looking the same as the one used for the cellar. (and their opting out of adventures feels akin to social withdrawal- and closest to how the audience was first clued into kaufmos abstraction. that he didnt show up. buuuut its mostly the holes thing. worth noting that it IS gangle and kinger who are grouped with them and later end up being assigned to go help them)

(if im wrong ill be thrilled and im not like, SUPER concerned. its not a very detailed theory. but im concerned Enough)

[s0dium]

Hii, I'd like to participate in the matchup event if it's still alright ^^

Name: Gale

Specification of fandom and preferred matchup gender (would you like to be paired with a boy or girl or either): Kny ; boy

Likes/Hobbies: Music, Sweets, Salty Food, Meat, Food, Anime, Books, Knick knacks, trinkets, Drawing, Singing, Comfy things, Researching, Stationery

Dislikes: Tea, Bitter Things, Carrots, messiness,

Relationship Turn offs: Getting jealous to the point it affects the relationship but won't properly communicate it. Not willing to compromise during discussions. Being pushy and not respecting boundaries. Treats nothing seriously. Super secretive to the extent that they won't tell me if something is bothering them or they're in trouble.

Ideal Traits in a partner: Detail-Oriented, Smart, independent, Caring, Willing to spend time with me, Patient, Supportive, Isn't afraid to tell me off if I go off the rails or go into a downward spiral and don't listen to advice.

Love language: My love language is Gift Giving and Physical Touch. I have trouble communicating through words so I tend to compensate it with splurging and spoiling my loved ones with gifts. I am also clingy in the sense that I hug and lean onto people I'm comfortable with a lot. I don't really have a preference in how my partner show's their affection, though maybe words of affirmation would help me in more ways than one. One of us needs to know how to speak I guess haha.

Description of Personality: I'm usually timid and quiet, but when I'm comfortable it depends on my mood. Sometimes I'm loud and energetic, child like even. Sometimes I get sarcastic and sassy, but mostly as a silly or joking bit. I get easily annoyed or ticked off when triggered, but, if isnt one of my triggers, I'm very chill I think. I'm also a bit air headed, like I do things without thinking or easily spacing off or forgetting things. I'm also a bit stubborn. I like to take things easy and frankly a bit lazy. But when I have something to do and I'm not being lazy, I'm anxious to get it done and done in a certain way. If I get serious, I'm very detail-oriented and specific in how I want things but struggle to communicate how I want it. This ends with me doing most projects and tasks alone. Even in activities that require group effort, I don't like not knowing what everyone is supposed to do and the possible quality of their outputs. I prefer knowing who knows how to do what and giving them appropriate jobs. But, this tiring and I burnout easily because of this. I also have the bad habit of, when things don't go the way I plan, as a way to remedy any panic or frustration, I often downplay how I feel about the situation with phrases like "It doesnt matter" and laugh it off, which is both a blessing and curse for me.

What makes you laugh: I have a weird sense of humor so I'm not sure at this point. I do have slight dark humor and I like puns if that helps. Sometimes there are situations where a joke pops in my mind and I have to stop myself from laughing or saying it outloud because it's not the appropriate time. I also laugh at weirdly simple jokes.

What makes me cry: I cry when feelings are involved, when watching sad movies, when I get frustrated, or I get invested in a sad story. I made the mistake of reading ErHa at 2am and did not stop crying abour Chu Wanning for 3 hours. I also played Love Signal D-Mate and chose P:ure's route once and never played another route because I didnt have the heart after his ending. I cried the whole night after my first playthrough :'DDDDD

Ideal Date: I prefer indoor dates like movies, cooking together, playing board games or video games or even reading books together in a cozy and comfortable silence. But if we had to go out a cafe, some movies or mall hopping sounds nice but a bit tiring.

This got really long, I'm sorry qwq Thank you for taking your time to read this though. And congrats on the milestone!!

Giyu Tomioka

"Its strange." Giyuu murmurs. "I always feel at ease around you." "Really?" You let out a slight laugh. "I feel the same way its like everything just....clicks Giyuu leans in, the proximity making your skin hot. "I'm glad. I've never felt this warmth before."

I think you and Giyuu really even each other and compliment each other well

(This is a modern AU)

Giyuu appreciates the peace of staying indoors, which perfectly matches your love for cozy dates. Most evenings, you're likely found curled up together, each with a book in hand, or you drawing while he watches, appreciating your focus and dedication.

He can stare at you sometimes which looks a little weird but he just loves you

Despite his reserved nature, Giyuu finds comfort in performing tasks together, like cooking. He's patient and meticulous, qualities that help when you're trying new recipes.

He does stupid things that make you laugh. He doesn't even know what he is doing sometimes he will say something really blunt that is just hilarious. He loves your laugh

Ngl I think that Giyuu would love manga. You and Giyuu would spend many nights binging series or watching movies. He's usually quiet, but you notice he's more expressive during these times, showing small smiles or furrowing his brows at intense scenes, which you find endearing.

Knowing your love language is gift-giving, Giyuu makes an effort to find thoughtful trinkets and books he knows you'll love.

: Giyuu isn't naturally very expressive, but he understands your need for physical touch and gradually becomes more comfortable with holding hands, hugs, and gentle touches that reassure you of his presence and affection.

Giyuu is a man of few words, which suits your occasional need for silent companionship. When you're working through your thoughts or simply need to be quiet, he's there beside you, a stable and comforting presence.

Both of you have your own strengths and weaknesses, but what makes your relationship special is your willingness to grow together. Giyuu learns to open up more about his feelings, while you help him with organizing tasks and making plans, making each other's lives easier and more fulfilling.

When you do go out, Giyuu enjoys taking you to quiet cafés where you can both enjoy some sweet treats. He will lowkey spend like 200 dollars on sweets that you like

Giyuu is protective, especially when it comes to the people he cares about. While he respects your independence, he's always ready to stand by your side if you feel overwhelmed or frustrated, helping you navigate through tough times with his calm and steady presence.

Hope you enjoyed!

MATCHUP RULES AND INFO

[bunnygirlaltar]

lilith conjunct venus in the 1st house, opposite pluto

having lilith in my first house has made me crave insight into her energy and influence over a chart, especially with the aspects she makes in mine. most of the time though the descriptions i can find about these placements dont actually resonate super well? i can tell the people writing them understand lilith and maybe their descriptions make sense in theory, but i want to do my part by sharing how i think she affects my chart from my own point of view. she does trine my midheaven after all <3

lilith in the first house (gemini)

i have felt misunderstood my entire life, its just become the nature of existing as myself, i probably feel misunderstood at least a little bit all the time. growing up i was the youngest and very close to my older sister who i would follow around and imitate a lot. we have a great relationship but as i started to develop my own sense of self early on i wanted to make it clear i was my own person as much as i could. throughout highschool too i remember always struggling socially because i never thought people saw me in the way i wanted to be seen. usually i felt perceived as darker, almost meaner than i was. i actually became pretty fixated at one point on consciously trying to brand myself as a nice person, because i didnt understand why so many people seemed to have no interest in me.

theres a paradox to lilith though, where while i felt this misunderstood all the time and i would on one hand hate it, on the other hand i almost needed it and craved it too. so its like in response to being misunderstood, i would further go out of my way to be more mysterious or exactly what people saw me as. i love to have secrets, i genuinely feel off-balance and uncomfortably vulnerable if i feel like ive been very open and have no more mystery to me. i love to not explain myself. my adolescence was filled with me making random almost impulsive changes to my appearance and enjoying how it made people confused, especially when it went against conventional beauty or femininity. id shave my head, randomly switch my whole wardrobe, get tattoos and accessories that stuck out and never answer anyone who asked about them. i love to show off my style while also telling everyone its none of their business. ive almost come to anticipate and expect being misunderstood, so i start to lean into it. it can lead to some of my best confidence moments, but it can also be so isolating and sad. most of the fights ive had in friendships or family is about me feeling like the other person fundamentally doesnt understand something about me that i find really important, and it hurts. im also the type of person where the people who have known me the longest or the best often still have trouble describing me when asked or predicting how ill act in situations. again, most of the time i delight in this, but when it leads to conflicts it can feel devastating, like nobody in the world understands me or tries to. the best connections i have are when people arent afraid to try to get to know me more even when i bristle up at them about it, and when they hold me in high regard or a positive light even when it would be easy not to.

also to clarify, im not like an actual demon person, i like to think i am a very good and nice person. lilith just makes it get distorted, shes not like a little demon in my head telling me to do shitty things, if anything shes a little demon in other peoples heads when they look at me, telling them that something neutral about me is actually dark.

lilith conjunct venus (in the 1h, gemini)

everything i said about feeling chronically misunderstood about the first house, here it goes double for romance or sexuality. i by default assume that most people, especially men, are viewing me in a negative light until proven otherwise. again that paradox, where im not sure if it started because it was true and i came to expect it, or i was worried about it and it became a self-fulfilled prophecy, all i know is that while im not right all the time, im right often enough for it to be hard for me to shed this assumption.

i wanted to talk about this aspect specifically because its been hardest for me to understand this one myself with what i could find reading about it. because venus in the first house is often described as someone being very alluring and likable, perceived in a positive way, all the blessings you can imagine venus in the first house would give someone. but with lilith in the first house people say almost the opposite things. so what about their conjunction?

for me i think lilith there doesnt cancel out or steal the spotlight from venus, its more like they team up. my distaste for romantic relationships almost counterintuitively plays a big part in my general personality, almost like im daring people to challenge it. being the perpetually single friend and having this attitude of being almost above romance is a pretty prominent part of how im perceived honestly. as ive matured and thanks to other placements i dont think im better than people who engage in dating or anything like a total cynic, but especially growing up with my closest friends being in pretty toxic relationships, my bitterness toward it just became a part of me. i always seem to be a little more angry, a little more hurt by the shitty things people do to their partners. lilith and venus together makes me feel very protective of women and femininity or at least very reactive to the concept of gender overall and to women being subordinate. im the definition of 'supporting womens rights and wrongs' meanwhile with men i have so much less sympathy and can see their negative intentions immediately when others dont. again, im not saying im always right (i would love to not be right), but im right often enough that its hard to unlearn this.

i also think this plays a role in how other women see me and interact with me. i think women with a strong and stable venus energy to them, strong positive placements and aspects, strong in their sense of self generally, tend to react better to this part of me. they dont blame me for my snap judgments even if they disagree or dont share them. they value them, often say they value my insights on people because im 'always right' or something to that extent, like they can trust me to always be in solidarity with them. women with more turbulent venus energies mirror my own instability. like i said, the paradox, my venus and lilith both dont want any attention from men while also being bitter that i never get it. i think this aspect of me comes out more around these women, and i bring it out in them too. usually we can agree on shit-talking and feminist ideas, but at the same time they will go and not walk the walk, usually theyre struggling in toxic relationships with men or how they view their own femininity, while i go and judge her for her inconsistency from the sidelines if i dont catch myself. it brings out ugly sides in both of us, and this has been a big focus in shadow work for me. lilith and venus can have you so protective and defensive of women that you almost circle back to disrespecting them, usually from putting them on a pedestal and getting unfairly upset when they dont live up to it. i think this is part of an inherent and inescapable shame that lilith carries with her, that i can be as confident as i want being so dark and counter-culture and alternative, but that can only exist by validating the very power structures i claim to hate, the real wound being that i feel rejected.

lilith and venus together makes it so that so much of my sense of femininity is inseparable from power dynamics and oppression. i have to work hard to make sure i dont define femininity or womanhood by suffering, or impose some divine gender-essentialist type of mindset that leads to terfs. fuck terfs by the way. my relationship with gender in general is shaped by this, im a huge defender of people when it comes to gender identity and expression because i understand so deeply that no one should have control over what you do with yourself, your body, your self expression. i love radical people in fashion, i love cringey people, i love niche alternative subcultures, i love when people are provocative and assertive in their personhood. lilith conj venus brings me a lot of difficulty but i am deeply grateful for the way they make be see beauty in absolutely everything and everyone, this is a core part of me, a value i hold very dear and practice as much as i preach.

lilith and venus oppose pluto (1h-7h, gem-sag)

i saved talking about my actual own love life and relationships for here. also because, theres not much to say, which is exactly the point! ive only ever dated someone for two months in highschool, and we broke up essentially because of everything ive been describing, i felt like their feelings for me were for a version of me that wasnt accurate, and feeling like that made it impossible for me to keep my feelings for them. other than that, i have been perpetually single and can count 'crush' experiences on one hand.

but heres the paradox, i am so deeply transfixed with sex and romance, its not that theres a lack of interest. its that my feeling of being misunderstood prevents me from wanting to do anything with anyone. i have high standards and like i mentioned, i tend to assume the worst in people especially if im seeing them as someone pursuing me. its hard for me to distinguish between someone liking me or being attracted to me and them disrespecting and objectifying me, they often feel like the same thing. again, is it me projecting, or am i just overly sensitive and reactive to a truth there? im not entirely sure.

the times ive had feelings for someone, usually i see a similar lilith presentation in them i can relate to. i tend to have crushes on problematic women (someone my friends dont like, someone whos not generally well-liked, someone who doesnt have a great romantic track record, or shes just straight lol). i get attracted to women who seem to be misunderstood and demonized often, as if i want to prove to them that i can understand them in ways other people dont, and i hope that they can do the same for me.

with venus, i like to flirt, i like to come off as almost sweet and mild actually. probably because of gemini, i like to be seen as easy-going and conversational and fun, non-judgmental, a good listener, witty. but with lilith there, theres always a sense of mystery around it. im a nice person, approachable, but you dont actually know much about me. im a good listener, but i dont talk about myself. i have a psychic awareness to me, being witchy and spiritual tends to be pretty present in how people see me and i think it adds to a layer of obscurity to my energy. and i love it. venus conj lilith, gemini, clearly i love to be confusing, i love to be a contradiction, i love to make people think. the vast majority of the time, i just live like this for fun and my own enjoyment. but when ive liked people, its been because they were extra receptive to my lilith energy.

pluto opposing lilith makes her very sensitive to being clocked by similar plutonian people, like recognizing like. i like when people engage with the light-hearted part of me, but then indicate somehow that they know theres more beneath the surface of me. i like when they admit that they dont understand something about me, i like when they ask about it, i like when theyre both interested in the venus and the lilith in me.

venus opp pluto is notoriously not a great aspect for love and relationships, and mine doubles down by being in my 1st and 7th house. my most intense relationships feel psychological more than anything. im attracted to people i can psychoanalyze and who will psychoanalyze me. i like when they say something personal and a little controversial but honest. so it makes sense how this can be a difficult aspect. you tend to attract and be attracted to problems and concepts more than people. pluto makes me want to dissect their entire psyche and examine all of their past like theyre a lab rat. theres a feeling that with all the darkness in you, you can only be with someone who can relate and understand the darkness, or at the very least isnt scared of it in you. but its a gamble, plutonian energy takes a lot of work to balance out! i dont think its impossible for there to be strong plutonian energy in a healthy relationship, but quite frankly more often than not people havent done a lot of work on that side of themselves and it does lead to unhealthy situations.

theres also a lot of moving in shadows in my love life, theres rarely been clear cut communication or a feeling like we really understood what the other was thinking. thats what makes it not last but thats also what makes it so tempting to keep trying over and over. the thought of finally accomplishing being understood is too tempting and no one is more willing to keep trying at it than another person with lilith/pluto energy. i also like relationships that are private, similar to how i enjoy myself to be perceived as a little bit mysterious, i want a relationship that is that too. the problem is i long for all these traits in a healthy relationship, but in reality these are also pretty common in unhealthy relationships. its a challenge to be in a relationship that honors or fulfills the strong lilith energy i have while not feeding into it in a toxic way.

i compare it to (this rendition of) persephone and hades. persephone who had this beauty and grace to her, but also had this darkness that was equally part of her. and hades sees it and invites her to take the throne she deserves, but to everyone else, this is corrupting her, they want her to stay the easy-to-understand and beautiful spring maiden she is, and hades is ruining that. but persephone doesnt feel that way, she feels like he finally sees something in her that is integral to who she is that no one else seems to see, or they do see and want her to suppress it. they rule the underworld together, and the nature of their relationship is shrouded in mystery and darkness. everyone argues and debates about persephone and how much agency she had or what she felt, but only she knows the truth, and she has no interest in clearing things up. she lets it be mysterious, because she doesnt think its any of our business, and she doesnt feel the need to prove anything, shes a queen! this is sort of the ideal of a relationship for me. like recognizing like, and getting together to unlock our full potentials together even if other people dont understand it. persephone being able to go between life and death, earth and the underworld, being so misunderstood and secretive, that transformative and fluid nature, of course my venus conj lilith in gemini opposing pluto loves it i mean come on!

[tigers1o1]

Hello FNC GUY!

I'm a big ol enjoyer of your works and was wondering if you had any tips on scene writing? I feel as though in my own writing I reuse names and pronouns too often, and I fear it makes my sentence structure redundant and boring. I've never done an ask before so I sure hope I'm doing this right! Anyways hope you have a good one, I look forward to seeing more of your works!! :D

I’m assuming you’re referring specifically to character interactions and dialogue to which i have a very good pointer actually!!!

So in my own writing, i tend to stick to the omnipotent limited (3rd person, but a specific kind) perspective. Which is basically to say i pick a character and the narrator knows everything going on inside that characters head and how that character is perceiving the world but its not 1st person and its not the characters’ thoughts directly. i think this is an important context to note for my pointer bc writing styles and the way you write character interactions can be very heavily dependent on your point of view/ perspective.

Now, one of the most common “beginner” techniques i usually see goes something like this

(Snippet from one of my wips)

Notice how little substance there is. It’s just dialogue and a couple actions. This gives your writing a really distant feel, like we arent actually in the scene with the characters, right? And what we want is substance and for the scene to contain life, instead of that sterile feeling.

And this is where the pov comes into play. For that snippet, I’ve chosen Lizzie as the main character (also note how that doesnt really show up). So to make that interaction have more depth, whag i do is i consider a few things

What is Lizzie feeling? What is her reaction to the words/interaction?

What specific details is Lizzie noticing about her surroundings and the actions of the other character? (If the main character doesnt notice something, don’t include it unless you’re using a different kind of pov bc in THIS, the narrator is omnipotent but they are limited, they only know what the character knows)

What is Lizzie doing?

I think getting into specifics can help, so long as you dont go overboard with them (but thats also dependent on your writing style)

So heres the actual snippet in the way i write usually

Lets break it down

P1- the setting is described, even if briefly. There is a descriptive quality accompanying the dialogue (rang out). Direct cause and effect, which ties the characters’ actions together making the scene feel more grounded in itself and connect than just a string of actions. Lizzie’s action is said, once again with a quality descriptor (laughed sharply)

P2- Lizzie is already the most recent subject, so using “she” here is less repetitive than her name again. I didnt say “she said” or “she replied” or anything to that effect because the reader KNOWS it was said, that’s indicated by the quotation marks; instead, try describing an action of the character speaking, or if its the main character, their reaction/feelings (which i did both here).

P3- “the other” is used to indicate that we’re talking about ava, but the subject (and main character) is still lizzie, which lets us use “she” again to refer to lizzie without getting overly repetitive or confusing the two “she”s in this context. Again, an action of the speaker is described to more realistically cement what is being said into the setting of the scene, and by describing the character’s action, it gives the dialogue itself more life than had it been the only focus of the paragraph.

So the big takeaways i guess are:

“She said” is redundant in most contexts, we KNOW she said something bc of the quotes. Instead, describe an action or emotion that accompanies the dialogue.

Make sure you know your narrator’s perspective /pov as well as tense, because the way you add detail will change

Pay attention to the way you interact with the world. What do you notice about your surroundings? How are you reacting to them emotionally? These introspections can help a LOT bc writing is a reflection of our own experiences, so if you’re noticing something about your environment, your characters probably would too

[ipsen]

tokyo ghoul dnd club: the first few days (aka, chapter 1 as a campaign)

brainrot in the discord server has evolved into a tumblr post. working with 5e dnd since that's the ruleset i know (sorry 3.5e)

Context

kaneki and hide are first years (the former likes the storytelling aspect, the latter is a supportive friend)

eto is a senior and the dm

rize also shows up for an interest in the "you can be whatever you want!" part. kaneki gets the Instant Crush

Character Creation

they have pre-gen'd characters to try out the game, and eto sets up a oneshot similar to the tg pilot for them to play. it becomes apparent rize antagonizes both eto and the other players. kaneki doesn't see it, but eto and hide start Scheming to kick her out

the game is fun, though! they start making proper characters at level 1. eto expands on the world of the oneshot, creating the baseline for the TG universe.

kaneki mentions wanting to emulate a gregor samsa-type character and eto works with him on it. eto offers the artificial half-ghoul angle and kaneki gets SO excited about it

hide doesn't want to be too involved in the campaign bc he wants to try out other clubs, so he works with eto to keep his character in situations where he'd be ready to jump in at any point. she gives him additional ccg lore to work with.

rize does not consult with eto after the "man-eating monsters" part of the lore hits her brain. makes her own character.

hide stole a peek at her character sheet and told eto. they set up a trap to kill rize's character

Campaign

hide brings pizza, which becomes a longstanding tradition at the club

after helping kaneki get more into character, hide leaves to try out whichever club had his interest that day, leaving kaneki with eto and rize

the date stuff plays out as normal, with rize being eerily cooperative.

rize: i lead kaneki to a dark alleyway, and i ATTACK HIM kaneki: w-what eto: like, with a knife? rize: no, with my KAGUNE! *reveals her level 3 ghoul character sheet in this level 1 campaign (she got bored reading the features beyond level 4 so she didn't go further)* eto, grinning: oh yeah ok roll attack kaneki: WHAT

fortunately, kaneki built a high intelligence/dexterity character, so rize misses the first attack. eto points out various ways for him to run to goad him into fleeing and he doesnt ask questions. rize's confused given how the disengage action works, but she likes the cat and mouse aspect of this part.

kaneki gets really uncomfortable and steals a glance at eto when rize's having too much fun describing how she's going to tear his character apart. eto just winks at him

eto: rize. rize: what eto: roll a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage rize: why eto: do it

rize fails, and is crushed by steel beams. eto gives a very vivid description of how the beams tear through her ghoul body, which is stuck in a cycle of regenerating and breaking apart anew under the weight. it's an agonizing experience (kaneki listens with bated breath. eto could be a writer, he thinks)

rize: what about kaneki?! he's right next to me, and if he fails he gets instantly killed.

kaneki, in a rare display of luck, succeeds. (eto inwardly sighs with relief). rize rage quits and doesn't come back.

the session ends smoothly with kaneki as an artificial half-ghoul like he wanted. he also loses his Instant Crush on rize after that

hide later gives eto a high five for a job well done

---

would love others' thoughts on this. your blorbo at the table or even as a dm (eto prefers the dm seat, but the player perspective is something she can't deny is valuable)

share share share!

[electricprincess96]

I tried to watch the Tomb Raider anime. I got 2 episodes in and just couldn't. Lara was fine but my boy Zip, what have they done to you. This man was a tech expert living like a broke college student wearing hoodies and white vest shirts and suddenly they want me to believe he's the sort of guy whod turn up to a party with his nails painted and a feather boa. And that his idea of "casual clothes" is a purple waistcoat... no, sorry that's not Zip, that reads like someone was given a really bad description of Alister's characters but with Zip's name.

I don't care that they seem to have made him Queer. I care that they've done it by making him a stereotype. Why can't he be a queer man that wears hoodies and white vest tops and acts like he plays COD inbetween doing work for Lara?

Also I'm so fucking sick of Lara's family issues. We had a whole trilogy of this, we've technically had 2 whole trilogies of Lara and her parental issues starting with the Legend Trilogy with her looking for her mother and trying to prove her father wasn't crazy for holding out hope Amelia survived (but it was better written and not as intrusive to Lara's character there).

Like I'm bored of this plotline now.

The show doesn't even seem to fit in with the Survivor Trilogy. She's guilt stricken over Roth's death in TR2013 despite this never being brought up ever in Rise or Shadow. Like you can't just bring this back up now and have her and Jonah and Zip act like she's barely able to function properly due to guilt over something that happened 3 years ago when we've literally seen her go on two more adventures, befriend other people (who also die) and she never once at any point in those 2 games brought up any lingering guilt over Roth's death.

Also love how they just seem to have wrote out Alex, the guy from TR2013 who had a crush on Lara who ALSO DIED in that game, like no guilt over his death Lara? By her logic over her supposed guilt for Roth's death,she'd be just as guilty over Alex's. But he doesnt seem to exist anymore, he's not in the Endurance crew picture, he's not in the flashback scene even though he was there when Roth died etc. Like he doesn't need to talk but if you want me to believe this anime is meant to fit into this unified canon timeline they're doing its pretty bad to be making retcons that literally don't NEED to be made for the timeline to work.

Like it's retreading old ground in the story and character development department, I didn't like what they did with Zip, and it's an absolute headache to follow when placed in the wider timeline even taking "unified timeline" out of it, it doesn't fit in the Survivor timeline that much either.

I'll maybe go back and try and finish it, maybe it'll get better. We'll see.

[blookmallow]

reviewing spirit animatronics for 2023

i almost forgot again. but here we are

apparently the website doesnt display animatronics that are sold out so im trying to dig for them... this isnt a complete list im doin my best

anyway lets GOooooooo

Gourdo

im gonna start with my favorite look at this silly little guy. something about this design is just incredibly endearing to me and the stringy guts look pretty good in motion too. hes cute and i like him. his description says he was a guy who kept scaring everybody all the time and one day he scared an old lady who turned out to be a witch so she turned him into a pumpkin. and now hes stuck like this bc he could not behave himself. i love gourdo i want him 10/10

Eternal Rest

its a tombstone. theres a sad crying face and it turns into a skull face and screams at you. thats... thats it. it looks fine but its just really basic, this is doing nothing for me

3/10

Poor George

this guy was at my local store for a while. hes pretty fun, he flips around and his face changes. i like his funky stripes. makeup design looks extremely art the clown which is just making me wish they had him instead

its at least an attempt at a unique design. but according to his description, the story here is he was just a nice regular clown who had a terrible accident but somehow survived. you can see his bloody torso when he turns. this isn't a zombie clown monster, this is a man who desperately needs medical assistance

also no explanation for why he has two faces. he doesn't appear to be intentionally meant to be conjoined twins or something so if hes supposed to just be a regular guy im not sure whats going on there

5/10

they also came out with another killer klowns animatronic this year too, hes BIG but i dont have much to say about that one other than it looks good glad to see the klown rep increasing

i guess ill also mention here that they have a mars attacks alien figure now too, which doesn't really do much, it just moves its head a little but the lighting is cool and the design looks really good and seeing it inspired me to go watch the movie, so. shrugs. i like him

Heckles the Clown

here we have i think the first Sad Clown spirit animatronic? i cant think of any others ive seen. he kind of has creepy uncle energy but isn't really scary. hes just sad. he is a pathetic shell of a man weakly trying to sell his balloons and i just kind of feel bad for him. i did not notice in the store that his balloon actually has a light-up face in it which is cool. apparently according to his description hes actually using poison gas in his balloons which is a neat idea but is extremely unclear from the animatronic itself, i never would've known that if i hadn't read the description, so,

his face sculpt looks pretty good though. hes a pretty well designed figure i just think his whole deal is unclear and just makes me feel bad for him. help this man

6/10

Stilts

i do love a scary clown but all of these are starting to look pretty much the same to me. the colors are visually striking (i like the use of the blue accents especially) and i like the bloody bowling pins but at this point it's just kinda like, yep, that's another tall spooky clown. great for all your tall spooky clown needs but its not really that memorable. 4/10

Death Stalker

THIS thing however, looks sick as FUCK and i really want to see it in person. i dont know what the fuck that is. i love it. it breathes smoke and has way too many teeth. the description offhand mentions it lives behind an abandoned doll factory for no apparent reason. i love this thing 11/10

i think it might be built from the same body structure as their krampus figure that i also really liked

The Black Heart

ok i dont know about anyone else but i just find this one extremely confusing all around

he gives off protective dom skeleton boyfriend vibes. in the store i saw this and figured the woman was his victim and hes showing us his kill to threaten us, but it also looks like he's protecting her, so i didn't really get what was going on. the description says she tried to do some weird ritual ive never heard of where you lay in a grave and your true love will arrive to kiss you and wake you up snow white style at midnight, but instead she ended up with this guy as her "master" but it also refers to him as her "partner"

"the fuck did you just say about my wife"

so i guess they have some kind of bdsm relationship going on. which, y'know, if she's into that, id say good for her, but she doesn't move at all, she appears to be dead or unconscious. she also looks like she's emerging from his waist or something bc like, i guess they made her skirt the same color to hide that she's there until he reveals her, but i didnt even realize she had a lower body at all,

anyway the design is really confusing to look at and i don't really understand what their whole deal is. the faces look really good though. 5/10

Leatherface

leatherface in the HOUSE!!! i dont really have a lot to say here other than i think he looks great and i want you all to see him. 7/10

Darling Dolly

i fucking love this thing look at that. salad fingers doll monstrosity what the fuck is going on here. there was one in our store very briefly but it wasn't working and disappeared pretty quickly which just made it even weirder. this has a fantastic "what the FUCK IS THAT" factor and i just wish it had better functionality bc i was really excited to find out what it does and it turns out it pretty much just screams at you. i feel like a slower, creeping movement with spidery fingers and whispering sounds would have been more effective. its definitely scary though. i want more wild designs like this i love this thing

the backstory is... a little girl dug up a cursed doll in the yard and her mother tried to bury it back but got struck by lightning and became nightmareishly fused together with the evil doll which just. doesn't make sense to me i feel like trying to create an explanation for this figure is actively a detriment to it i like it better just as a Horrible Inexplicable Demon

9/10 could have been executed better but great design

The Cauldroness

pretty much just your standard witch. i like the way she's posed, this figure is more interesting to look at than a lot of the standing ones. the movement in her hands looks pretty good. i like her face. she also looks like salad fingers. maybe im just seeing it bc im trying so so hard to manifest him into existence even though i know they'll never make one sfjkg

anyway this is simple but i think it works well, 5/10

Dagger Mike

look at this ridiculous little gremlin. his name's dagger mike. hes got knives. his torso makes no sense. i love you dagger mike 6/10 hes not good but he makes me laugh and i like him

i do like the vintage clown look here though. i just think his body looks stupid and his existence is very funny to me in a way i cant articulate

Floating Spirit

its a ghost. it goes ooooo. 10/10

[marinerainbow]

Hey! So while I was reading your Popshine/JessicaxRoger Switcheroo AU I was listening to that Steven Universe Song- Its Over Isn't It (And just a precurser- i havent seen this show i just like the song and am just taking context clues from it). And I've been stewing on it since, and can't stop thinking about a Shiny x Poppy x Psycho love triangle with this plot! Lots of angst ahead, I warn you 😅

Like, imagine both Psycho and Shiny are in love with Poppy and she cares deeply for the both of them too. Shiny can make a joke of this, playfully argue with Psycho any time he's around and bother him as much as she can- because she doesnt think she'll actually lose Pops to him but his presence does annoy her. Her heart is, inevitably, broken when in the end Poppy chooses him.

I was fine with the men-

Who come into her life now and again.

I was fine, cuz I knew,

That they didn't really matter until you.

I was fine when you came, and we fought like it was all some silly game.

Over her- who she's choose-

After all those years, I never thought I'd lose.

Poppy and Psycho then have the twins, and Shiny fades into the background (as much as she can, I mean. Poppy still loves her and wants to be friends of course)- until Poppy dies. I'm not sure how, considering she is a toon of course, but it was definitely tragic.

Now Shiny has to help Psycho take care of the twins because he can't do it alone (She certainly knows it), and she needs to keep the last bit of Poppy left over, safe.

Of course you're welcome to ignore this if you want! Just thought I should tell you since it's about your OC's 😅

AWSTTHJOLNJTESDU7JHTEDF ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY!?!? WELL YOU SUCCEEDED-

Ok ok ok. Before I get into my response to this, I've got some headcannons for this little AU. So. Poppy is dead. Psycho is not only mourning the sudden loss of his wife, but he's also a father now. He's got two kids he has to figure out how to raise through the depression. This would be hard on anybody. But on someone as mentally unstable as Psycho?? Holy. Shit. He's gonna need a lot of help. Shiny knows this, and although she and Psycho aren't friends thanks to their little love rivalry (I like to imagine she and Psycho could get along on their own. Maybe not be best friends, but it's Shiny's whole damn job description to get along with everyone she meets. If they didn't love the same woman, she could have made an acquaintance with Psycho work), she steps in whenever she can. Being more than just the Godmother Poppy asked her to be for the kids; at this point, the twins are practically her own, too. And she's the closest they have to a mother figure in their lives.

In fact, I think in this storyline, Shiny would have offered to take Psycho's position in the Toon Patrol. Those kids need a parent who won't get pulled away because of a new job. Or could easily be killed on said job either. And Psycho needs to be able to focus on his children full time now that it's just the three of them. Sure, if he does die too, the twins will be under her care, but Shiny isn't going to deprive them of the father they need now. Not to mention that this is around the 60's-70's; burlesque clubs aren't very popular now. Not as much as they were in her time anyway. Shiny needs a new job. And hey, she already had one foot in the criminal life with her moonshine business. Why not kill two birds with one stone? (Sometimes Psycho does have to get called for a job that only he can do, though he is still mostly a stay at home dad.)

So to the twins in this storyline, Shiny is not just their cool aunt. She's involved in so much of their lives. Going to school functions with Psycho to support all three of them, celebrating holidays all the time with them, and just generally making sure he doesn't screw up as a dad. She and Psycho here don't necassarily like each other, but she's short of moving in with them from becoming a complete member of their household. It's partially due to her legal status as a godmother, and she herself has grown an attachment to Poppy's children. And it hurts her so much more because this is the family of the woman she loved, and the other man.

Because she's trying her best to be the stability this family needs, Shiny never got to really mourn Poppy's death and, as such, hasn't been able to truly move on. She feels like she can't truly talk about her position about this to anyone since she has to be strong for the kids. But eventually, bottled emotions have to come out one way or another. Why not let them come out in song?

Also, after our convo, I'm making widower gardener Psycho canon in this AU :)

Warnings for: past character death, angst, plenty of cursing, a lot of crying. Also emotional singing (I don't care if it may come out as cringy- if I can't animatic Shiny singing this song, then I'm gonna write it!)

~

January 2, 1973

"Goodnight, Shiny."

"G'night, you little rascals. Don't forget to bite the bed bugs back for me!"

The two children giggled, Percival letting out a "That's gross!" around his laughter, before their father gently nose nudged them both towards the hallway. The twins gave him and their godmother one final hug before making their way to the back of the house to do as they were silently told how they could behave so well despite being raised by two hooligans, Shiny had no clue. It must be Poppy's influence. Usually Psycho didn't pay much mind to bedtimes, though it was late on an already long day. They all needed rest...

The grin on Shiny's face finally fell, only after Psycho glanced briefly towards her- telling the old dancer in his own way to go home now, before following his children. Now it was just her alone standing in the seemingly empty living room. It had been a long day for them all. Especially for the kids...

'Another birthday come and gone...'

visiting the grave of a woman that they didn't even know, but were supposed to. That would be scary and thought-provoking for anybody. No matter how old or young they were. Who knew what kind of shit was going through Penny and Percy's heads whenever they saw their mothers name on a tombstone?

But at least, they had as good of a support system they could get. All Penny and Percy needed to worry about now was what story their father would tell them tonight, and how many sheep they'd have to count to fall asleep. But they were getting older, too. And someday, they would lose the innocence that came with childhood...

Shiny's fists clenched, and an ugly frown tugged at her lips, choosing to glare at the floorboards as if they somehow spoke ill about her. Every year, this day was so damn hard for her. At least on the twins' birthday, she could distract herself with Penny and Percy's happy demeanor and what the day is supposed to be about. But on Poppy's birthday, all anybody could think of was how their friend was no longer with them to celebrate with.

The weasel woman growled a little before silently storming towards the front door, trying so hard to ignore the pain in her heart. She had to leave and go home anyway, but she also needed some fresh air. It was the only thing that could help her now- or at least that was what she could hope.

The former dancer's paw hovered over the doorknob in hesitation when she heard the familiar pitter patter of rain drops hitting the roof. Before she even stepped outside, 'Of course. Of course, it's going to be raining tonight.' If she were religious, she would have taken this as a sign that even the universe was sorrowful on this day. didn't bother with thoughts like that. They brought no reassurance or comfort to her despite so many people telling her it would.

Shiny just barely managed to not slam the door behind her before sinking down onto the porch steps. The night air was chilly, causing the rain to feel ice cold on her skin, not that Shiny cared at the moment. And the lamp across the street had gone out again. Shiny hadn't bothered turning on the porch light; it would just draw more attention towards her. More so than a wrech sitting on someone else's porch in the rain in the middle of the neighborhood would. At least the people around here knew to mind their own business.

That was one of the things Poppy liked about this place when they went house hunting; it was a valuable perk for anybody married to unlawful citizens. The perk for Shiny was that her house was just a few blocks away, and she could have visited Poppy and the kids more often...

"Fuck!" She roughly rubbed her eyes, trying desperately to get rid of the now familiar stinging before the floodgates started. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Why? Why? Why did it have to be so damn hard just to think of that woman's name? To think about a future that would never be reality now? She knew why, but why!?

Shiny sucked in a long, overdue breath and heaved it out before slumping over in defeat. Her elbows were resting on her knees, but they hardly supported her it felt like, as she hung her head. If she closed her eyes, she knew that Poppy's grave would be all that she'd see, so Shiny settled for just staring into the wet, muddy ground. Her voice was so soft, so fragile, she would have wondered if she actually said anything if she wasn't focusing on other things, "Why did it have to be you?"

God. So much had changed over the years. It was hard to believe they all had come this far. How much they all had changed. Sure, Smartass still had his gang, and the rest of the boys were still in it. But everything was different. And it wasn't just Psycho becoming a father and widower. She was different...

So much had changed. Nothing was the same. Or ever will be again... She couldn't even remember the last time she sang. Singing and dancing used to be one of Shiny's favorite forms of expression; it had been more than just a way to make money to her. But there wasn't a need for it now. She worked in the night under a very different career now. What point was there in singing anymore?

Shiny ran a paw through her hair it had grown longer over the years. She simply hadn't bothered to cut it anymore. She couldn't see the point in it nowadays before tilting her head to the left to look at the poppies lining the house. She was careful, despite her broiling emotions and shaky paw, when she reached towards the one closest to her and grazed her fingers over the petals. It was actually Percy's idea to plant the poppy flowers, 'so mom can be home' he had said. Just more proof that the little kit thought about things a lot more than kids his age should. Of course, planting your mothers namesake to try to keep her close wasn't how it worked, but who would care? Certainly not his father. Or her.

'You always loved my singing.' The thought wormed its way into Shiny's head before she could stop it. But now that it was there, she just... Couldn't fathom the energy to force it away. Not while she was out here alone, on her sweethearts birthday, with the cold rain and breeze as her band for the night, 'And I loved to sing for you... I'd give anything to sing for you again...'

But Poppy wasn't there to hear her sing anymore. It was no longer the same. Shiny had always thought that she sang for herself, which was partially true. But she found out the hard way too that she also needed someone to offer her voice to- something to sing about. But what?

...

"I was fine... With the men... Who would come into her life now and again..." It had been years since she had found it in herself to sing anything. Let alone whatever was on her mind. She somehow already knew what she was going to sing about before the words even left her lips, but right now, she couldn't care less, "I was fine... Cause I knew, that they didn't really matter... Until you." Her eyes narrowed into a spiteful glare, as she thought about that damn weasel inside the house now. She wanted to think of him as a homewrecker in all honesty. Though how could she when Poppy had never loved her the she had hoped she would?

A shaky breath, to try to calm her raging nerves. It was futile, but it was either try or just go all out and bat shit crazy in the rain. Shiny focused back on the flower, thinking back to all the stupid things Psycho and Shiny used to do to compete, "I was fine. When you came, and we fought like it was all some silly game... Over her."

Another crack in her voice. Another breath, "Who'd she choose..."

Shutting her eyes tightly, Shiny managed to tear her gaze away from the flower bed and lift her chin towards the cloudy night sky. Though it wasn't in pride, "After all those years, I never thought I'd lose..."

"It's over, isn't it?" It was, wasn't it? "Isn't it?" Now that she was never coming back, "Isn't it over?" After leaving behind so much, "You won. And she chose you. And she loved you. And she's gone..."

Only one thought crossed her mind as a droplet that wasn't from the current weather slipped down her cheek; if their silly little game was over now... "It's over, isn't it? Why can't I move on?"

~

Penelope felt restless, sitting upright in her bed and watching the rain pattering against her window intently, rather than laying down and trying to sleep. She always loved the rain. As long as she could remember. She especially loved it when it was a heavy downpour.

Though she was scared that mom's poppies would get ruined. Thankfully, dad was already on it, and had left real quick to make sure the garden had shelter for the night, "Percy?"

She didn't look her brothers way, but she could still hear the sleepy muddle in his voice. She didn't know how he was able to hunker diwn to bed so quickly, "Yeah?"

"Do you think mom liked the rain too?" Dad and unkle Wheezy had mentioned that their mother wasn't too fond of thunder a few times, but thunder and lightning were different... Maybe she had something in common with mom.

Finally tearing her gaze away from the window, Penelope looked over to the other side of the room, where Percival, in his own bed, was. The little weasel rubbed his eyes and blinked them into focus before he shrugged, "Maybe... Dad likes the rain, and they did a lot together. So she probably did."

"Yeah. That's right..."

Penny nodded, though Percival noticed how she looked to be frowning. He sighed, knowing exactly what she was thinking. It was something they both thought about, especially on days like this. How everyone they knew got to know their mother... Except each other.

Wordlessly, the kit crawled out of his bed and walked over to his sisters side of the room. He did hop on the bed with her, but he did reach over to hug her, which she returned silently. Neither of them spoke a word. They were young, but they still knew each other best.

"... I'm gonna get a glass of water." Penny decided after a moment, pulling away from the sibling embrace and sliding off of her bed easily. Percy decided to follow her. It sounded like they could use a drink- as their unkle Smarty would say.

The trip to the kitchen was relatively short. It wasn't even too bad when they had to get creative to reach the glasses in the cupboard; usually, dad got the cups down for them, but he wasn't around. So Penny just climbed onto the counter like she had seen dad do sometimes and passed down her brother the cups. They had done this trick a lot, much to their family's detriment.

Percival could only hear the rain pouring down onto the roof. Though he was reminded that he wasn't the twin that inherited their mothers hearing when Penelopes ears twitched and tilted towards a direction. He followed confusedly after her when she started walking towards the front door, "What is it?"

The rabbit child's ears were pointed toward the door, before her bright blue eyes widened, and she hopped onto the couch closest to the front window. Percy followed suit, searching for whatever it was that she heard. When he saw the familiar figure sitting on the porch, his eyebrows shot up to his forehead, "Shiny?"

"She was supposed to go home, right?"

The two shared a look. Silently asking the other the same question; listen? Or go back to bed?

...

In that secret language only siblings could understand, the two agree to creep back towards the front door and crack it open. Just a tad; not enough for Shiny to hear them, buy enough for them to listen to what she was saying.

Or rather, singing, "Shiny can sing??"

"Shh!"

Lucky for the twins, the rain was loud enough in Shiny's ears to block out any other sound. Honestly it was a wonder she hadn't gone deaf from countless night in the past dancing along loud bands... Her heart ache might have had a hand in her lack of focus now, too.

The weasel gritted her teeth and tugged at some hair strands- which was getting wetter by the minute. Including her clothes and fur. But she just couldn't give a damn now. Besides, it allowed her to pretend that the tears streaming down her cheeks were just raindrops, "Who am I now in this world without her!? Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her..."

Poppy was always naive; she always wanted and hoped for the best in this wretched world. But that didn't mean she was dumb. Poppy had faced her own suffering in her life, and she always looked out for the people around her, no matter how awful they truly were. The way she treated her criminal friends, how she treated her, was proof of that. Shiny knew that she could always trust the rabbit because of it. And that was what made Poppy stand out to her out of everyone in her life, and what she had loved the most about her.

But nowadays... She still loved Poppy, and she loved the twins. But sometimes, Shiny wondered what would have happened if she had tried to discourage Poppy from more of the choices she had made. Would it have been worth being more controlling if it meant Poppy would be alive now?

The singer shook her head at that, knowing in her heart that that kind of thinking was wrong. Besides, it's not like it would change anything, so what was the point? "What does it matter? It's already done. Now I've got to be there for her kin..."

From the front door, Penny and Perry couldn't believe their ears, and even shared a look. As if they had to verify with the other that what they were hearing was really real. Their aunt had always told them that she and their mother were close, but she never said anything about this. She never looked this sorrowful talking about their mom. She was always so cheery and strong; had she been hiding this from them all along? "Percy...?"

Their shared thoughts stopped in their tracks when Percy noticed Shiny standing up from the porch, and quickly gestured to his sister. The kits ducked behind the door, just in case she had planned on going back inside, or was about to glance behind her. They stayed there, holding their breaths, until they heard their godmother's voice again. Louder, almost yelling, and more strained this time. Like she was cracking under the weight of what she said next, "It's over, isn't it!? Isn't it!? Isn't it over!?"

They both flinched from their hiding spots, feeling the pain that Shiny carried through her voice. They slowly peeked back outside once they deemed it safe, and could see Shiny now stood up from the porch and off the steps, standing fully in the pouring rain now. It was hard to see with how dark it was, but it looked like she was trembling even. All Penny and Percy could do was continue to listen. It was all they knew what to do now.

The weasel felt like she was going to crack under the weight of all her pent-up emotions. Her breath huffing out all shaky and fists clenched so tight by her sides. She felt so weak right now, on her own, but all she wanted was to scream and shout and punch a pillow. Or better yet, a wall. Her vision felt blurry, and not just because of the tears in her eyes, and she wasn't even thinking about all of the painful memories like before. Right now, even though it felt so hard to do, all she could do was take in one long breath, and scream into the sky with all the heartbreak that she had pushed down all these years, "You won, and she chose you! And she loved you! Now she's gone!"

...

That's it. There was no turning back now. She couldn't take it back now. Or fault the ears of anyone who may have been listening. Blinking away raindrops and tears, as if that final scream had taken her voice, all Shiny could manage now was a soft, pained tune, "It's over, isn't it? Why can't I move on...?"

Quiet sobs escaped her lips as her head fell, now staring at the muddy ground. Her shoulders shook with her crying, but that didn't stop her from wrapping her arms around herself, trying to find some way to find warmth and comfort now, "It's over, isn't it? Why can't I move on?"

Letting out everything she had locked away didn't help in the slightest; all it left was cold emptiness. At least, that's what it felt like now. At least no one was here to see her like this...

"Shiny?"

Her eyes grew wide, and a gasp escaped her before she whipped back around towards the doorway. Seeing the two she had hoped would never see this side of her was bad enough, but seeing the utter confusion and worry on the twins' faces, worry they shouldn't have to feel for her, made her heart sink even further than it had. How much did they hear? "O-Oh! Hey, guys... Shouldn't you be asleep...?"

Usually, the kids would have some witty excuse, or at least what they thought was clever, and act innocent. It would make Shiny laugh every time before she called them out on their mischief and sent them back on the right path- doing whatever it was they were supposed to be doing. But now? Stepping fully outside and onto the porch in their pajamas, Penny and Percy didn't answer her. At least not with words. Though the many questions that they didn't ask- or didn't even know where to start- were clear as day in their wide, sad eyes.

They heard it all. Or at least enough. Enough where she couldn't make up a lie to distract them. Not that that would have stopped them. They were persistent little kits.

And now, because she couldn't keep a damn lid on herself, wasn't strong enough to keep it together, Shiny had no choice but to reveal the complete truth, "... I... Kids, I..."

But where does one even start?

~

I really wanted to add Psycho's reaction as well. But I couldn't figure out how to write it in while making it flow with the story. I'm kinda afraid that adding the twins in this already jumbled the flow of the drabble a bit- but I haven't written them yet, and wanted to try 😅

He is in the backyard, so I don't know if he could even hear her sorrow... Though maybe he came back inside last minute?

But anyways! I hope you like this answer, and I apologize for taking so long XD let me know what you think! ^^