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demigod-shenanigans · 27 days ago

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The choiceless hope in grief (chapter four)

Leo’s relationship with Calypso had been a wreck since he’d gotten back. Most of their interactions dissolved into arguments. It wasn’t entirely Calypso’s fault. Their relationship had been hanging by a thread for months at this point, and that thread had been frayed and on the verge of snapping even before Leo had left. Everything that had happened since then had just made it worse. If things had been different, maybe they could have fixed this. If leaving the island hadn’t robbed Calypso of her powers and her immortality. If Leo hadn’t come back from his best friend’s funeral, barely a shadow of his former self, unable to make good on his promise of a normal life. If they were both a little better at communicating and empathizing with each other. If. If. If. But things weren’t different, and they were exactly who their respective experiences had shaped them into, and so things were a mess. They fought about school. The thing was: Leo did not like school at the best of times. Him and school would never be friends. Honestly, them ever becoming amicable acquaintances seemed like a stretch. He deeply did not feel like dealing with classes on top of trying to deal with Jason’s death. So he just didn’t go, regardless of what he’d promised Calypso. They fought about Leo holing himself up in his room. They fought about Calypso’s powers. They fought about Leo’s sense of humor, and the amount of Iris messages he sent to Piper and the fact that he talked to her but would not talk to Calypso. They fought about a bunch of really minor garbage because they were both angry and on edge and none of this was working. It took two weeks of arguing back and forth for Leo to snap at her that his best friend was fucking dead, and could she please back the hell off? To Calypso’s credit, she did try to comfort him, then. Tried to apologize. Tried to at least cut back on the number of fights they were having. But it didn’t work. Things between them didn’t improve. Calypso just didn’t get Leo—not when it came to this, and not when it came to anything else. That the problem was mutual also didn’t help. They were two bent, broken gears that fit together so poorly that it had really only been a matter of time before the entire machine exploded.

Rating: Teen and Up

Chapter Word Count: 5.6k

CWs: Breakup time! General themes of isolation and self-loathing, which feels like business as usual at this point. It does feel slightly worse to me personally than the previous chapters did, which is probably related to the fact that Piper isn’t around. Also, mild warning for people with emetophobia. Being sick is just mentioned briefly (skip the first paragraph of the section that starts with the sentence “Leo forgot about fixing the stupid pipes that had started the argument.” if you want to be safe, it’s just that very tiny section) and isn’t described but I thought the warning probably couldn’t hurt just in case.

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Chapter 4: Calypso breaks a pattern

It was mid-April by the time Leo got back to the Waystation.

Honestly, he felt like he deserved props for not just bolting the hell out of Tahlequah in the middle of the night after the horrible vision he’d had.

Granted, even if he’d wanted to, that would have been kind of difficult considering he’d managed to startle Piper awake with his screaming, but still.

Piper hadn’t pushed him to talk about his dream, but they hadn’t gone back to sleep after. Leo had joked that maybe this was a sign from the gods that they shouldn’t waste their last night together sleeping, but really, he’d just known that even if he’d tried, he wouldn’t have been able to sleep another wink. He was too terrified of waking up to his hands on fire and smoke curling around his ankles.

Instead of sleeping, they’d spent the night kicking each other’s asses at Mario Kart.

When she’d hugged him goodbye, Leo had very bravely not spent the whole time thinking about the fact that he might set Piper on fire by accident.

He didn’t know for sure his dream had been a vision, but some of the details seemed too random for him to just make up. Why an underground parking garage? Why would Piper use a blowpipe? And the voice he’d heard… he’d been dealing with this nonsense long enough that he was sure it had to be some kind of deity.

Besides, Leo knew it was more than possible for him to lose control like that. It had happened before. Who was to say it couldn’t happen again?

As much as that sucked, it did seem like a sign that going back to the Waystation was the right choice. If Leo wasn’t around Piper, he couldn’t explode into a firestorm in an underground parking garage and hurt her—or worse. That was pretty sound logic, in his opinion.

Piper had known something was up, but he’d played it off by saying he was just worried about what would happen with Calypso when he got back, considering she hadn’t exactly been happy with him during their call. Piper had accepted that explanation. A tiny, awful part of Leo felt grateful that she had never been able to read him quite as well as Jason.

His return to the Waystation was a bit of a mixed bag. Jo and Emmie seemed happy enough to have him back, asking for help in the workshop and with dinner. Georgina hugged his knees and then promptly bolted again. Lit gave him a semi-pleasant nod—or whatever qualified as semi-pleasant from someone who’d tried to kill you at one point.

Calypso, though… yeah, she wasn’t Leo’s biggest fan right now.

She was in good company, considering Leo wasn’t too happy with himself, either.

Calypso really wanted to know the reason why he’d ditched her. Leo, on the other hand, still didn’t feel like talking about what had happened. This, maybe predictably, didn’t mix well.

It took all of three minutes of him being back for them to have their first fight. Things did not get more pleasant from there.

~~~~

The next month passed in a grief-heavy haze, most of which Leo only vaguely remembered later.

A lot of those days, he operated purely on autopilot.

Leo gave Festus his promised repairs and upgrades and Tabasco sauce and was graciously forgiven with a few nuzzles and another fire shower.

Afterwards, Leo threw himself into a bunch of projects—anything Jo said she needed help with. Anything that could use fixing and improvements around the Waystation. He worked and worked and worked relentlessly because things were kind of okay as long as he didn’t have time to pause and think and miss Jason.

When he wasn’t working on any of his other projects, he had one of his own he was fidgeting with. He wasn’t sure what it would be when he started. It was just a mess of wires and strings and anything else he could think of. There wasn’t a purpose to it. He just needed to keep himself busy when there was nothing else to work on, and for some reason this was the nonsense blueprint his brain had picked—one that was metaphorically upside down, with all of the instructions in a language Leo couldn’t speak.

Well, he supposed distracting himself was easier when he had no idea what he was doing. Maybe he’d find a brilliant use for whatever this was supposed to be once it was done. That had happened before. And if he didn’t… well, it didn't really matter. At least it kept him busy for now. And it wasn’t like he couldn’t take the thing apart and rebuild it into something new if it turned out to be useless.

Leo kept to himself a lot more than he had when he’d been with Piper. Being alone with his thoughts still sucked, but it sucked less than having to explain things to people who fundamentally didn’t get it. People who might try to make him talk about events and feelings he’d rather keep between him and Piper or put back in the box and never acknowledge again.

Being at the Waystation wasn’t bad, for the most part. Jo and Emmie gave him space when he asked for it. They clearly knew something was wrong, but they seemed to accept that he wasn’t ready to talk about whatever it was.

Leo was made to help with meals on the better days, and on the worse days someone brought food up to his room.

When Jo realized being busy seemed to help him, she gave him additional little projects to work on. She asked him to come into the workshop and then let him work wordlessly by her side if that was what he wanted, occasionally trading tools or asking for advice if he was up for it. It felt a little like it had with his siblings. Not that that was a thought Leo allowed himself often—missing Camp Half-Blood was an express train to thoughts about why he couldn’t bear to go back, and he did not need to take that right now.

Leo wasn’t as close to Emmie, who was more focused on the gardens, which really weren’t his area of expertise, but when they did interact, she was kind.

As an additional way to keep himself busy, he made little toys for Georgina. She always got super excited about them, and if nothing else, that at least temporarily managed to put a smile on Leo’s face.

Things with Lit were kind of weird, but they managed to make dinner together in amicable silence, which was more than Leo could say about Calypso.

Leo’s relationship with Calypso had been a wreck since he’d gotten back. Most of their interactions dissolved into arguments.

It wasn’t entirely Calypso’s fault. Their relationship had been hanging by a thread for months at this point, and that thread had been frayed and on the verge of snapping even before Leo had left. Everything that had happened since then had just made it worse.

If things had been different, maybe they could have fixed this. If leaving the island hadn’t robbed Calypso of her powers and her immortality. If Leo hadn’t come back from his best friend’s funeral, barely a shadow of his former self, unable to make good on his promise of a normal life. If they were both a little better at communicating and empathizing with each other.

If. If. If.

But things weren’t different, and they were exactly who their respective experiences had shaped them into, and so things were a mess.

They fought about school. The thing was: Leo did not like school at the best of times. Him and school would never be friends. Honestly, them ever becoming amicable acquaintances seemed like a stretch. He deeply did not feel like dealing with classes on top of trying to deal with Jason’s death. So he just didn’t go, regardless of what he’d promised Calypso.

They fought about Leo holing himself up in his room. They fought about Calypso’s powers. They fought about Leo’s sense of humor, and the amount of Iris messages he sent to Piper and the fact that he talked to her but would not talk to Calypso.

They fought about a bunch of really minor garbage because they were both angry and on edge and none of this was working.

It took two weeks of arguing back and forth for Leo to snap at her that his best friend was fucking dead, and could she please back the hell off?

To Calypso’s credit, she did try to comfort him, then. Tried to apologize. Tried to at least cut back on the number of fights they were having.

But it didn’t work. Things between them didn’t improve.

Calypso just didn’t get Leo—not when it came to this, and not when it came to anything else. That the problem was mutual also didn’t help.

They were two bent, broken gears that fit together so poorly that it had really only been a matter of time before the entire machine exploded.

Right! Leo’s machine metaphors. They fought about those, too.

It wasn’t that they hadn’t had their good moments. They’d bonded when she’d first helped him to get off of her island. They’d had a few good weeks after he’d come back for her. But the longer and more frustrating their journey had gotten, the faster that initial honeymoon phase had worn off, the nice moments sprinkled far and few between.

Leo couldn’t pinpoint what the first crack had been—when the pointless arguments had become their normal, growing more heated with time. Had it been the nightmares? The constant monster encounters? Had it been something specific one of them had said or done?

Maybe it didn’t actually matter how they’d gotten to this point. Maybe all that mattered was this: in the end, the choice he’d made to sacrifice himself to rescue her like the hero in a romantic epic couldn’t make up for the fact that they were terminally incompatible people.

No, sorry, not rescued. He’d just collected her. She hated when he called it a rescue.

That they cared about each other didn’t mean a thing when they couldn’t seem to understand each other to save their lives.

Leo didn’t know how to support Calypso through the loss of a steady home when he hadn’t had one of those since he’d been eight. He didn’t know how to handle the resentment she very clearly harbored towards the fact that he’d gotten her off the island, despite having asked for it and happily agreed to it at the time. He didn’t know what to do with the guilt he felt over her having to trade her immortality and most of her powers for her freedom.

Calypso didn’t know how to handle him, either. This maybe shouldn’t have come as a surprise—few people in his life ever had. She’d grown weary of his jokes over time, down to interrupting him and apologizing for them to other people when Leo felt like joking was the only way he could remember to breathe. She wanted emotional sincerity, which he’d always been terrible at. She usually didn’t understand the way he saw the world, and when she did understand, she didn’t seem to like it very much.

Calypso’s desire to settle down in a quiet place like this was fundamentally at odds with everything Leo had been for so long.

Even that would have been far too much for most relationships to handle. But they’d tried to make do. Decided to settle down at the Waystation and figure out what their relationship could be in a safe environment. And Leo really had wanted to try and make this work.

Except then he’d had to leave to help his friends, and he never fully came back.

This, it turned out, was finally too much. More than anything, their already fragile relationship could not handle the death of Jason Grace.

Six months of cracks and fissures tore wide open, and suddenly they found themselves screaming at each other from across a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon.

As much as she tried to, Calypso did not understand mortal grief that wasn’t clean and obvious. She’d been isolated for so long that this maybe shouldn’t have been surprising.

She kept cornering Leo in the workshop after dinner, apparently determined to bug him into one of the emotional conversations that seemed to be her cure-all regardless of the fact that he would much rather explode himself a second time than talk about this particular topic.

“Why won’t you let me help you?” Calypso asked for the umpteenth time, trying to reach out to place a hand on his shoulder. “I could if you would just let me.”

He despised that she didn’t take no for an answer on this. Every day for the past week, she’d tried to start this exact same conversation, and it just didn’t get through her fucking skull that he didn’t want to have it—especially not with her.

Leo didn’t know how to make her understand that he didn’t want the kind of help she was offering. That it just wasn’t how he operated.

Hades, even if it had been, Leo was pretty sure there was no helping him. Trying to help him was how people ended up dead.

“I need to be alone right now,” he snapped, pulling away from her. “I have work to do.”

He gestured to the work bench, which was covered with a collection of faulty pipes in various stages of decay that needed fixing almost as desperately as Leo needed a distraction.

For a moment, Calypso’s hand lingered in the empty air between them. There was a kind of hurt in her eyes Leo didn’t get at all. He was the one with the dead best friend, for fuck’s sake. Heneeded to figure out how to deal with it. What gave Calypso the right to make him feel like shit about the way he was coping?

“No one should be alone during a time like this,” she insisted, trying to reach out again. “I can see that you’re hurting. I don’t understand why you won’t talk to me, but it’s still obvious you need-”

Leo had had it at this point.

“No. You have absolutely no clue what I need. For someone who’s always telling me to talk about my feelings, you’re doing a shit job listening to me.” Leo gritted his teeth. “You wanna hear what happened to Jason? Fine! It’s the same thing that always happens to me. I get distracted and lose things, courtesy of my ADHD. Sometimes it’s screwdrivers, or the box of crayons I bought for Georgina’s birthday. Sometimes it’s my best friend.”

It was barely a joke. His laugh sounded forced and bitter even to Leo’s own ears. But it was the only way for him to not drown in it all.

Calypso’s almost hopeful expression fell, replaced immediately with utter disbelief.

“Can you not be serious for fifteen seconds? Not even about this?” She sounded exasperated. “When I try to bring up what happened, you avoid me. You throw yourself into a new nonsensical project and refuse to talk to me. But the next second, you’re fine joking about your friend’s death like it’s at all comparable to misplacing a box of crayons! Does it make you feel good to let yourself care for him so little?”

Leo felt like he’d been punched. He wanted to throw up. He couldn’t think. Everywhere he looked, he saw some memory of Jason smiling back at him, and he couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t rewatch any of the movies they’d seen together, or listen to the kind of music Jason liked, because doing so would snap him clean in half even if he’d been having a good day. He couldn’t even make a blasted joke without imagining Jason’s eyes crinkle, his serious expression softening into a laugh that Leo would never fucking hear again.

Calypso had never made much of an effort to understand how and why Leo used his humor. Who the hell did she think she was to tell him he didn’t care about the person who had mattered most to him in the entire world?

“I’m just saying it like it is!” he snapped. The vortex in his chest swallowed everything, scraping him raw and bloody and leaving only his nastiest parts. “I got distracted. You distracted me! I wish I’d left you on that fucking island!”

The thought had been drifting around in his mind since he’d gotten back—burning, festering, building up pressure before finally erupting out of him like from an active volcano. He knew the second he let the words explode out of him that he would never be able to take them back.

If it hadn’t been for Calypso, Leo wouldn’t have left his friends. He would have had six more months with Jason, if nothing else. Six months that he’d foolishly wasted, thinking they’d have all the time in the world once he got back. Maybe he could have been there when it happened—could have changed something, or at least said goodbye.

Instead, he’d sacrificed all that for a girl he’d barely known—a girl who wasn’t even sure she wanted to be away from her island prison.

And now here Leo was, desperately trying to find some way to keep himself going after Jason’s death, despite feeling like an automaton with half the pieces ripped out. And there Calypso was, trampling all over his feelings and Jason’s memory like she knew better than Leo how he was supposed to be feeling right now. How he was supposed to be handling this.

Calypso looked horrified, then furious, and Leo couldn’t find it in him to care at that moment. She’d hit him in his sorest spot, and in that moment he wanted her to hurt. Wanted her to know exactly how she’d made him feel.

“If what you’re saying is that an eternity of isolation might have been the preferable fate if the alternative was your company, I’m beginning to agree.” Calypso’s hands were clenched into fists at her sides. “All I did was try to comfort you, in a way no one ever bothered to do for me, and this is the thanks I get?”

“Your idea of ‘comfort’ is apparently stepping all over my boundaries until I give in and do what you want, so no, gratitude isn’t the word that comes to mind! Screw you!” he shot back. The spark of his fury, now that he’d finally let it loose, hit kindling. And before he could think to stop it, it was a forest fire. “What right do you have to get mad at me for saying that when you’re not even sure you want to be here half the time?! Besides, you’ve made it pretty clear you hate me for getting you out of there!”

“You never even bothered to try and understand why I felt conflicted about leaving! You just decided that I shouldn’t, so you could continue to feel like the grand hero who rescued me! I chose to go with you, yes, but it was not the easy choice you clearly think it should have been!” Calypso scowled at him. “Trapped as I was, Ogygia was also the only home I knew for an eternity. I made the furniture you destroyed. I planted the gardens—watched them grow from the first seeds. Do you have any idea how it felt to leave all that?”

She was right, of course. Leo didn’t understand. He got cabin fever in most places if he stayed too long. If someone had trapped him somewhere—anywhere, even in the coolest place on earth—for years, Leo would have jumped at the opportunity to leave and never look back.

He also didn’t really care to understand at this point.

“My best friend is dead!” Leo shouted back. “Sorry if I can’t find it in me right now to care about you missing your fucking tomato plants!”

“It’s me you don’t seem to care about! You let me think you were dead for weeks!” He could see the tension in her hands as she clenched them even tighter. “I’m sorry about Jason. I am. I’m trying to help you, but you won’t allow me to. And somehow that’s my fault, too!”

“I told you exactly how you could help! It was by leaving me the fuck alone!”

“Unlike you, I don’t intend to make a habit of leaving the people I love to their pain!”

They spent the next several minutes screaming at each other, both of them spiraling, the full extent of their bottled-up hurt and resentment glad to explode in their faces.

“You know what?” Leo yelled finally, his voice raw. “If you really hate me that much, maybe we shouldn’t be in a relationship.”

“We aren’t in a relationship,” Calypso said, like this wasn’t a discussion at all. Like she was merely stating a fact. “You can’t even talk to me. You’ve spent the past several weeks avoiding me. That is not a relationship. I’m beginning to think that it never was.” Over the course of the argument, all the fight had drained out of her. Now, she just sounded hollow as she spoke. “I’m done with this, Leo. I’m not waiting around for you to leave me again.”

“Great! We’re done, then!”

That was it. Six months tumbling into the chasm like it was nothing. Like that was where they were always destined to end up, sooner or later.

Despite everything, Leo kind of wanted to curl up and cry.

“I’ve watched hero after hero leave me over the years. I was a fool to think you’d be any different.” There was a bitterness to her voice. A hurt that was somehow both fresh and much, much older than Leo was. “The others at least had the decency to be kind about it. They all left me for noble causes. But you? You had the cruelty to promise you’d stay with me, knowing full well that you already had one foot out the door. Because that’s not who you are, is it? You don’t stay.”

“Right. Gods forbid you spend ten minutes not reminding me I’m not the perfect hero you always dreamed of.”

“It’s not about whether you’re a hero, Leo Valdez. I cared for you because I thought you understood. Because you spoke of not belonging with your friends, and it sounded like you knew what it was like to be left behind. Because I saw a kindred spirit, and believed that you would keep your promise to come back to me.” Her voice was watery. When Leo forced himself to look up at her, he realized Calypso’s eyes were brimming with tears. “But I understand now that the problem was never that you did not fit in with your friends. Your real problem is your cowardice. You run from your friends and you run from your feelings and you run from any place that might accept you as you are, because if you just burn all your bridges indiscriminately, you never have to find out which ones might not hold your weight. But you also lose any chance you have of finding the ones that will.”

Then she turned and headed for the door, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the workshop, exactly like he’d wanted.

~~~~

Leo forgot about fixing the stupid pipes that had started the argument. For a while, he just stood there, frozen in place, tears pouring freely down his face. He felt empty and disgusted with himself. It got so bad that the nausea became physical. His lunch came up. Then he spent several minutes dry-heaving, wishing he could disappear. Wishing he’d just died correctly the first time.

Jo found him like this—a trembling heap on the bathroom floor. She made it worse because she didn’t scold him, despite the fact that Leo was sure the screaming match must’ve been audible throughout the entire Waystation. She didn’t call him a horrible person.

She just helped him back to his room and asked what had happened.

There was no pressure behind it, no coaxing. It was just a question. He didn’t have to tell her anything.

But the fight had rattled all of Leo’s broken parts loose, and now he came apart, dissolving into sobs. He didn’t tell her everything—there were many things he didn’t think he could ever tell her, or anyone else for that matter—but she got the CliffNotes version of his recent epic screwups, half-swallowed by his pathetic wailing.

Jo still didn’t look at him like he was a horrible person when he was done. Not when he talked about how he’d messed up with Jason. Not when he talked about his fight with Calypso, or after his shameful admission that he couldn’t stand to be around her half the time because all it did was remind him of every moment with Jason that he’d wasted rescuing a person who apparently couldn’t even stand him.

Leo hated himself for these thoughts. Hated that he’d yelled at Calypso that he wished he hadn’t gotten her off the island. It didn’t matter how mad and hurt he was right now—no one deserved to spend their life in that kind of solitary confinement.

…okay, maybe not no one. Leo could openly admit that he would wish it on Gaia and Caligula and Jason’s mom, if they’d still been alive—for them to be so far away from any living being that they could never hurt anyone again.

But Calypso didn’t make that list. She wasn’t even anywhere near that list. What kind of horrible person would say something like that to someone they cared about, even when they were fighting?

“Neither of you handled that very well,�� Jo determined when he finished. “She shouldn’t have said the things she did, and you shouldn’t have lashed out at her. But you’re both hurting, and grief is a messy creature. Apologies may be warranted, but from both sides. Please don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I think we broke something we can’t fix,” Leo admitted quietly, his shoulders trembling. “I’m not sure I want to fix it.”

He felt awful admitting that out loud.

“You don’t have to stay in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy. Not for any reason,” Jo said, gentle in a way Leo wasn’t sure he deserved. “It doesn’t sound like either of you were very happy.”

And they hadn’t been. Not for a long time. So why did this breakup still suck so much?

Leo didn’t have the strength for any more words in him. He just pulled his knees to his chest and sobbed.

“If you’d like, I could sit on the bed with you and put an arm around you,” Jo offered. She’d pulled up the chair from his work bench instead of just sitting next to him initially. “I know physical comfort sometimes helps. I also know that sometimes it doesn’t. Just tell me what you need.”

Leo had never had a foster parent like Josephine before.

He’d had ones who would have tried to hold him regardless of his comfort, like a stranger smothering a traumatized child who had just lost the only family he’d ever known was going to help anything. He’d had others who had yelled at him to shut up and get over himself. Once, Teresa had locked him in her storage closet for three hours because he hadn’t cried quietly enough.

None of them had ever thought to ask.

Jo wasn’t Jason or Piper. She most definitely wasn’t Leo’s mom, whose arms had always felt like the safest place on earth. But she was kind, and patient, and being held by her actually did help a little. Leo hadn’t had an adult like that in his life since he was eight years old.

It was almost comforting that he got to have this. Unfortunately, it also made him miss his mom with a fierce desperation he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Why was he never able to keep any of the people he loved?

~~~~

After Jo left, Leo stayed up all night tinkering with his distraction project. He didn’t want to sleep—to deal with the nightmares that were bound to come like clockwork after a day like this, in case sleep even managed to find him at all. He just wanted to keep his mind off everything for a while.

For once, tinkering didn’t help. Leo couldn’t shut his brain off. He wasn’t even sure what he was building, but none of it seemed to fit together quite right, and more than once he had to screw pieces loose again. In the end, it looked like this misshapen… whatever it was had exploded all over his workbench.

“Well, at least that makes a decent metaphor for both my relationship and my life, I guess,” he groaned, briefly considering tossing the entire thing out of his bedroom window.

So much for keeping his thoughts off the breakup.

He kept thinking back to all the awful things he’d said, replaying them in his mind like the world’s nastiest YouTube video stuck on loop.

Almost worse than the breakup itself was the fact that the weeping breakdown he’d had with Jo afterwards was exactly the kind of conversation Calypso had been trying to have with him for weeks. Probably not to the degree she would have liked, but it had been something. So much more than he’d been able to share with anyone who wasn’t Piper.

Why hadn’t he been able to just give Calypso what she wanted? Why couldn’t he seem to change himself into a person other people actually liked?

Part of him wondered if love always felt like this—raw and awful and aching, forcing you both to twist parts of yourself into a different shape until you fit together, even if it didn’t feel right or comfortable for anyone involved. If it was always like hammering broken machine parts into place to very barely keep things running, with everything constantly on the verge of coming apart.

A more treacherous part of him knew that it didn’t. Remembered the way Jason had laughed even at his lamest jokes, and the way his eyes lit up whenever Leo rambled about some new device he was working on—obviously not quite understanding what Leo was talking about most of the time, but making up for it with all the genuine enthusiasm he had to offer. The way Jason had seemed to trust him so instinctually, even when Leo felt like he didn’t deserve that trust. How Jason had always had a kind of confidence in Leo’s plans that Leo himself distinctly lacked.

He remembered Jason just showing up to help with the Argo II, despite the fact that he had no clue what he was doing—dropping by with snacks and water bottles and tricking Leo into taking breaks by bringing up movies he’d never watched or things he needed explained to him or complaining about how sick he was of sitting alone at dinner.

Sometimes Leo had fallen asleep on the bunker floor working late into the night, but he’d always woken up in his bed. Nyssa had given him endless shit about the fact that Jason had kept carrying him back to the cabin like some fainting damsel.

“You’re sure he’s dating Piper? Because I’ve never seen him carry her around like that.”

“Yeah, well, unlike me, Piper has a reasonable sleep schedule like a complete bore.”

Jason had never made a big deal about it when he’d asked—he’d just said that the floor was cold and hard and he didn’t want Leo to get sick or hurt himself by accident. He’d said it like it was the most natural thing in the world to him.

Leo knew that meeting Jason had changed him. It had changed Jason, too. But that had been different. It hadn’t felt like bending out of shape. It had been like him hammering away on heated metal, working out the kinks on two pieces with gentle precision until they fit together to make an even better whole.

Leo hadn’t recognized it, back then. Hadn’t questioned the way seeing Jason and Piper together made his chest hurt. They were the first real friends he’d made in a long time. Of course it ached to feel like they’d found each other and didn’t need him anymore.

That truth was easier. It was instinctual, almost, to cling to it. If Leo had recognized what his feelings were—clung to all the ways love could be when it was Jason—then he might have lost him. He might have made things weird between them, messing up the two perfectly good friendships he had in the process.

Leo had been losing people since he was eight years old and so very rarely allowed himself to get attached to others so completely. He’d never been able to stand the thought of losing Jason or Piper. Maybe he’d subconsciously decided it wasn’t worth the risk.

That kind of love had always been for other people, anyway. The way Jason had looked at him—awe and joy and utter trust—didn’t matter when Leo couldn’t be loved like that. He’d been content with Jason just continuing to love him the way someone loved a best friend, because even that had felt like more than Leo thought he’d ever be able to have. More than Leo deserved.

Because the Fates were cruel, Leo had lost Jason in a way that was far more awful and permanent than the ache and awkwardness of unrequited feelings. And if his shitty nightmare visions were anything to go by, there was still a pretty decent chance he’d lose Piper, too.

———

Notes:

…is it mean of me to say that I actually had a blast writing the breakup scene? I don’t think I’ve ever written a messy breakup before this (pretty sure this was only my second ever breakup scene, and the first one was the amicable jiper breakup in Fate verse, which has completely different vibes), so I was super nervous before writing it, but I ended up enjoying it a lot.

Calypso and Leo actually kind of fascinate me, ngl. I don’t care for them romantically at all, but there’s something to be said about two broken, traumatized kids whose defining traits include that they’re both desperate to be loved and so they latch onto the first person available, despite the fact that they’re objectively a terrible fit. Let’s put the girl who has massive trauma surrounding abandonment with the guy whose go-to coping strategy has been running away for half of his life and see what happens! And the thing is they want to love each other. They want to love each other so badly. But their personalities and traumas are so diametrically opposed to one another that even in their attempts to care they cannot help but press down on each other’s bruises. It is so, so important to me to stress that neither Calypso nor Leo are fundamentally bad people. Neither of them is the person the other one needs, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be loved. They both need kindness and time to heal. That being said, they should preferably do that healing far, far away from each other. (This is the only chapter of the fic that Calypso plays a major role in, and there is a reason for that.)

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leo’s understandably having a bit of a Time right now, but we did get him to a point where he could admit his crush on Jason to himself, so… progress? …is admitting you were in love with your dead best friend progress? Who knows! But since this is a valgrace fic, I hope at least you readers got a kick out of it, because Leo sure as hell isn’t having a fun time with it at the moment! Something something love that requires you to be someone you’re not vs. the way you cannot help but be changed by the experience of loving someone with your entire heart and soul.

Comments of any kind are, as always, super, super appreciated. I’m kind of having a Time myself right now and I do thrive on feedback, so! But either way, thank you for reading! See you guys next week!

Tag List: @poppitron360 @lilyfrey @lady-silkwing @intenebrisobscurat @manygeese @ann-rex

#valgrace #leo valdez #heroes of olympus #hoo #leo x jason #jason x leo #my writing #Tchig

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teitpp · 3 months ago

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Fic Writer 20 Questions

Big thank you to @curator-on-ao3 for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

1,874,243

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(I hadn't checked this in ages and now im kind of awed and intimidated that something i've had up for a few months beat out Parent Trap the HP Crossover after so long. I did not comprehend how ginormous the Agatha fandom was.)

(499) The Uncharted River (T)

Agatha All Along: Canon Divergence from Episode 5. While struggling to break Agatha free of her mothers possession, Teen releases Nicholas Scratch's spirit from the Ouija board. Nicky possesses her body alongside Evanora, fighting to free his mother from his grandmother's control. He has one request of the coven: Save Agatha.

With Death unable to capture a spirit while it remains tied to a living body, Rio must rely on the pieces of herself long buried: her skills as a witch and her knowledge of her estranged-lover if she has a hope of seeing Agatha through the trial, or their son safely returned to the spirit plane.

Meanwhile the Coven must grapple with their own truth. Will they see the good in Agatha or the bad? Will they listen to Evanora Harkness? or Nicholas Scratch?

(315) The Parent Trap (T)

Star Trek Voyager: Janeway and Chakotay parted ways on unfriendly terms after Voyager returned home - much to the shock of their family and crew. They had at the time two identical embryos in stasis and decided each of them would get full rights to one. Their daughters have grown up not knowing the other exists.

13 years after homecoming, all of that is about to change as a happenstance of fate - and some scheming former crew - bring Teya and Shannon together and Starfleet Juniors Summer Camp. The sisters switch places in order to meet the parent they've grown up without. But what will they do when they realize both of their estranged parents still hold a flame for the other?

(296) Sailor Moon H: The Order of the Phoenix (T)

Sailor Moon / Harry Potter: Mamoru's star seed is not returned to Tokyo at the end of Sailor Stars, instead, he was send back to be reincarnated into late 20th century Wizarding Britain. now the scouts must enrol at Hogwarts to find him. They soon find themselves caught up in the beginnings of the Second Wizarding War, and in the crosshairs of a certain immortality-obsessed Dark Lord. A Missing Prince is about to be the least of their problems...

(234) The Undying Heart (M)

Agatha All Along: The finale of The Uncharted River, The Upturned Fortunes, and The Unraveling Threads. Agatha Harkness sets out on a roadtrip with everything she never dared dream of: A coven, a boy she sees as a son, a son she can visit in the In Between, and reconciliation with the love of her life. Sure, Rio isn't with them at the moment, but Death is a busy business.

But when a week passes in their search for Tommy and Rio remains absent, Agatha begins to worry. Rio's future card looms over them. What could pose a danger to Death? More important to Agatha, how can she protect Rio against it?

Her search leads them all on a harrowing quest, to the realm between Life and Death, to places that haunt Agatha's past, and to choices Agatha never wanted to make, and never thought she'd have the strength to. Agatha's life has been shaped by grief for her coven, her wife, and her son. With all of them back within her reach, she's never had so much to lose. When the time for Judgement comes, what choices will she make?

(227) The Upturned Fortunes (M)

Agatha All Along: A continuation of The Uncharted River. Our coven, now with a freshly recharged Spirit Witch who has thawed towards Lady Death, embark on the fourth trial. Will Agatha be able to handle what this trial requires after the Spirit trial has shaken her? Will the Seven catch up to the trial goers? And when Lilia Calderu looks into the future's of each of the coven. What cards will she find?

4. What fandoms do you write for?

Voyager

Prodigy

Agatha All Along

Sailor Moon

And side of Mme. Secretary, Harry Potter and Zelda BOTW/TOTK though nothing posted of the last.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond, promptly when i can because i love the community and conversation. i especially love commentors whove sent me really thoughtful questions or bullet points and i always do my best to respons in kind. i love the opportunity to reflect on the chapter in that way too.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Mhmmmm. For now, this one. but this years cohen fic is going to top this for angst.

What Even Is Three Minutes (T)

Star Trek Voyager: Kathryn reflects on what three minutes can mean to her and what it can cost her when she faces her first video call home to her mother. Sad angsty KJ and angsty J/C in here.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending

For Just One Day Let's Only Think About Love (T)

An expanded ending for To Lose The Earth - Threshold AU style.

Because I dont think you get much happier than a wedding and family and exploring a new galaxy together totally at peace with who you are.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Significantly less since I turned off guest/anon comments and left fanfic.net. thereve been memorable ones. This is my favorite ever from Fever (E)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes and I write whatever suits my fancy

10. Do you write crossovers?

Very ocasionally if one compells me

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I dont think sooooo? except by AI scrappers

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but my friend (I'm sorry Nightwing, I can't find your blog to tag!) did record some of my sailor moon fics as audio book type of thing and it was so beautiful and amazing!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!!! with @magdalenejaneway and @jellybeansarecool and I had a blast both times!

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Cant pick just one.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I really want to finish Aquarius and SMH but its so damn hard now that theyre 10 years old and it feels like just... overwhelming. im trying. but my head keeps being elsewhere.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think im decent at outlining and dialogue and action scenes

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

oneshots

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I've started employing the "Details" html tag when I want to give the reader the real time experience of comprehension while also maintaining the characters experience of incomprehension. it's worked really well!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

W.I.T.C.H

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Too hard to choose i love so many of them now. ❤️

i guess i will tag....

@strkamand @cnroth @divinemissem13 and @pc-corner and anyone else who wants to play!

#elephantwrites #tag game

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thethiefandtheairbender · 2 years ago

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just a disclaimer: i’m queer and nonbinary (afab) as can be, so all of this is from a personally queer perspective? i also know that i don’t tend to really jive with ND stevenson’s work (she-ra didn’t quite work for me) either and if you loved the movie, great. i just gotta drop thoughts somewhere because well

they’re less than positive

like “nimona” wants to be a Queer movie so badly, but the entire humourous basis of the character herself is that she is 1) young looking (despite being immortal) and 2) appears to be AFAB and isn’t it funnily jarring when little girls want to be violent instead of cute and sweet?

She doesn’t want to be a monster, but clearly genuinely enjoys destroying things (again: basis of the bulk of her character humour, and one of most defining character traits) with no regards to anyone who gets hurt or could get hurt in the process.

also this is Entirely Personal preference but while the animation was stunning, the contrast in the medieval aesthetic and modern day technology just continually brought me out of the movie. which is too bad, because treasure planet and it’s 70/30 rule and aesthetic blend of old timey and big technology is one of my favourite things ever, but i think Nimona being 50/50 just... didn’t work for me. was also slightly disappointed that i figured out who the actual bad guy was before the queen’s death (and yet another movie with a black queen who Dies Instantly / a movie with literally queer men of colour being technical side characters to a white, allegorically queer main ‘female’ character).

Ballister is a great protagonist, but due to his opposition of everything Nimona is personality and scheme wise, it feels like they’re almost running around in two separate stories. As well as like - he wanted to enjoy the Elite, Privileged, fighting force? An elite, privileged, entirely based on birthright system ruled by a Black queen before it was called into question, when it’s also a pretty clear allegory for the Police? The fact that this isn’t resolved - what’s going to happen to the Institute, is it going to be reformed or even better yet, disbanded (‘defunded’), is entirely left hanging as a plot thread, which doesn’t happen matters.

Halfway through the movie (specifically Nimona’s “or that sometimes I want to let them [kill me]”) is when I finally started to feel emotionally invested, but like two scenes later when Ambrosius’ stabbing was over dramatic rather than just letting the tone hold, I looked into the camera just... so incredibly unimpressed. The monopoly and shark dancing didn’t help.

“She’s my friend.” “Aren’t I more than that?” so there were no aspec people in making this film. Got it. And Ballister’s heel face turn into calling Nimona a monster is also very quick, especially when his whole arc this movie is being unfairly demonized himself by the very same thing/people that are demonizing Nimona as well. The sheer harshness and length of the scene is also much longer and given time than him saving her, leaving that feeling kinda lopsided as well.

And Nimona’s issues I think are very evident in the fact the movie lets us see all the damage she’s causing at the end when she loses control, which is sad and tragic for her... but does not excuse or remove the real harm she’s bringing hundreds of other people. This is mitigated when she sacrifices herself to save the city, but given that her problem wasn’t necessarily selfishness so much as recklessness, and given that Ballister had literally just talked her down from suicide, it’s... Muddled to say the least.

And all of this ties back into the murky gender allegory of the movie. At its best, it’s very effective and very emotionally resonant (Nimona’s actual flashbacks and a couple of her conversations with Ballister. I can definitely see why people like it - hell, even I like it. “This monster is a threat to our entire way of life!” “What if we’re wrong?” kinda perfectly encapsulates were it falls flat to me, because queerness Is a threat to our current systems - capitalism, racism, cisheteropatriarchy founded on white gender essentialism. Queerness, particularly of gender, disrupts and should disrupt all those things; it’s a political identity just as much as personal one, both by choice and by societal circumstance.

TLDR; found the second half of the movie, overall, much stronger than the first, but with some bigger structural pitfalls. Animation was gorgeous, sense of humour didn’t overall work for me but that’s a personal thing, queer allegory was good but I would’ve liked some of the implications to be taken farther. I appreciate the movie for what it says about freedom of expression vs demonization by the upper class(es), and I think it’ll really resonant and be important to queer youth in their teens (a stage I am long past) figuring themselves and their place in an increasingly anti-trans political climate out, so I’m very glad it exists. It just wasn’t particularly groundbreaking, and wasn’t particularly up my alley. Which is kind of what I expected, but I am disappointed that I didn’t enjoy it more as a nonbinary person who loves story deconstructions, fantasy, and animation

#nimona critical #nimona spoilers

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sintassays · 23 days ago

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X Men: The Krakoan Age

I've finally read a bunch of X books through the Krakoan era. Not all of them though, as I can only let my financial irresponsibility go so far. Specifically, I've read: House of X/Powers of X, Hickman's 2019 run, Inferno, X Lives/Deaths of Wolverine, Duggan's 2021 run, Gilllen's 2022 run of Immortal X Men, 2023 Hellfire Gala: Fall of X, and finally Fall of the House of X/Rise of the Powers of X.

AND I. HAVE. THOUGHTS.

The component of Krakoa that immediately stuck out most to me was that it was an ethno-state. Of course, this ethno-state wasn't established with the displacement or subjugation of another people like in the case of, say, Israel. But settler colonial domination is not the only problem with ethno-nationalism. A mono-ethnic society creates bigotry and alienation against outsiders. It moves its people away from the ideals of compassion, acceptance, and equality. And for the mutants, that means moving away from the dream that Xavier and so many others wished for.

Still, despite its many problematic and unjustifiable elements, Krakoa's change in global power dynamics was an incredible sight to see. The mutant population went from society's margins to a world superpower in the blink of an eye. Seeing Magneto pledge to use humanity's tools of power against them *to ambassadors' faces* made my jaw drop. Mutants were finally on the upswing, and I could not get enough of it.

I read these books between late March and late May of 2025, so I missed the opportunity to observe or participate in lots of Krakoa discourse as it was happening. But from looking up topics of interest and finding web articles and discussion threads, I know one subject of particular controversy was the Crucible.

The Crucible makes sense to me. The idea that in order to achieve rebirth that returns your powers, you must prove your resolve in fighting not only for yourself but for your people seems worthwhile. I don't buy into the "the Crucible keeps mutant society strong" argument, as it seems kinda fashy. But it does help regulate the process of rebirth so that mutants don't kill themselves left and right asking for improvements/enhancements. The Crucible, as far as I can tell, is only meant to restore the victims of M Day, and is only accessible to those with the resolve to face it. Maybe it's because I'm not spiritual, maybe it's because I'm an outside observer looking in upon a fictional society and lack the stakes of someone actually living there, but I don't see much of a moral or ethical dilemma with the Crucible process.

The character I found it hardest to wrap my head around throughout this era was Moira. Specifically her betrayal of the mutants after the events of Inferno. I understand Moira's hatred and fear of Mystique and Destiny, as they were the ones who actively wanted to kill her, but to feel betrayed by Xavier and Magneto is stretching it. Destiny's revival wasn't their doing, and they had no reason immediately post-Inferno see her as an enemy.

She also turned out to have wanted to "cure" mutantdom the whole time. The biggest change post-Inferno was moving from the "peaceful, voluntary cure" approach to an outright genocidal one. The best guess I have at why she snapped is a combination of spite and rage at her repeated failed attempts at saving mutantdom and her great fear of finally dying. She went from what she thought was "best" for mutants to just burning it all down and selling out to the winning side, which she thought to be Orchis' AIs. This wasn't very clear to me at first and still isn't crystal to me now, but I can't tell if that's because of convoluted writing or me just not reading enough of the X books.

There were two positive developments in Krakoa that were very promising for the nation's future. The re-establishment of the X Men team showed that despite mutants' embrace of separatism, they were still willing to help and fight for all of humanity. This showed there was yet hope for the dream of equality. And the dissolution of the Quiet Council in favor of a plan to hold elections would have reduced the power and harm of the mutant elite.

And then the hope for a brighter future immediately went to shit.

I don't know exactly who is to blame and I don't especially care. The writers, editorial, executives, doesn't matter. The Fall of X is one of the worst decisions in X Men comic history. A hard reset into the mutants once again struggling on the margins has been done to death and just sucks at this point. There were so many other potential ways of moving the X narrative forward! With the Quiet Council gone and the establishment of a new, democratic Krakoan era, the problems at the heart of Krakoa's founding could have been addressed! For fuck's sake, Xavier admitted in Immortal X Men that mutant separatism was a horrific compromise he only made out of desperation! Democracy and continued aid and dialogue from the X Men team could have moved Krakoa in the right direction! And now that's all blown to hell! FUCK!

Speaking of Xavier: I had heard for a while now via Reddit and Tumblr discussions that he is not an especially ethical man and has committed various crimes and atrocities over the years, earning him quite a bit of controversy and even hate. I avoided forming an opinion simply because I hadn't read the books featuring the events people were talking about. But now I see what earned him such hatred for myself. Charles selling out humanity to Orchis in exchange for a sort of "mutant preserve" is one of the most batshit plot points I've ever read, in comics or otherwise. I remember in Immortal X Men (toward the end of volume 2, I think?) Charles said in a narration to the reader that he knew the horrors of what he'd done over the years, and while he wasn't proud of it, it was necessary and the bad reputation it earned him would cause mutants to be skeptical of power. Or something to that effect.

Given what I'd heard from others' discussions on the character, Xavier's reflection on his ethics seemed to make sense. But nothing in that reflection, nothing in his rationale could justify the abominable decision to join Orchis' genocidal war just to get the chance to put a psychic back door in Moira so Jean could defeat Enigma. It crosses a million bright red lines. Maybe it was necessary, maybe it wasn't. I'd hope the writers could have done something different that wasn't so insane. Regardless, given the circumstances, I'm glad Charles is now in supermax incarceration, even if I hate that he has a stupid little backdoor in the prison's anti-psychic security measures. An enormous change in his character would need to occur for me to be happy to see him free again.

I will not be reading the From the Ashes era of X Men. The Fall of X was just too bad of a decision for me to want to read further right now. Not to mention the fact that I've seen pretty negative reception over its writing. I'll wait for an interesting point down the line to get back into newer X Men books.

All in all, I honestly loved this era. I brought up a lot of negative and controversial elements in this post, but it was honestly one of my favorite comic reading experiences ever. Its tragic end highlights what was lost and would could have been more than anything. All I wanted was more! And any storyline that can hook a reader like that is pretty damn special.

#comics #comic books #marvel #x men #x men comics #krakoa #fall of x #x spoilers #marvel comics

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moorishflower · 3 years ago

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Oh my brain is running away with me, think about Pirate Hob first meeting siren Dream - think about how Dream wakes up and attacks and drags Hob into the sea, and Hob is already immortal, AND a pirate, so he has taken his time to learn how to dive, you know, he can hold his breath for a long time, and they grapple and fight and Dream rips his throat out and drags him into his cave to eat slowly, but Hob wakes up again and Dream is just. Confused? Delighted at a ressurecting meal? Something to keep? Or will he let Hob escape but visit every night at his ship, until Hob gets to finally catch him in his net?

Idk I just want to know how these two hook up

asdhgds okay so my rough timeline is:

1389: Hob Gadling challenges Death to a game of cards. He cheats OUTRAGEOUSLY, and Death is so charmed by this dumb bandit that she grants him immortality, though she calls it a curse, and not a blessing

1390: the Age of Discovery is in full swing, and instead of selling his sword arm to this Richard or that Henry, Hob takes to the sea instead, and for a time gets a reputation as being extremely lucky. Mortal wounds fail to kill him, no infection ever takes hold in him, and he's hale and hearty no matter how long he spends at sea

1399: Hob makes the mistake of staying on with one crew for too long, and he's marooned on a tiny island some 300 miles from Plymouth because the crew figure if he can't be stabbed and he can't be strangled then maybe just. leave him out to sea and maybe that'll do it?

1400 - 1650ish: Hob spends the next several centuries slowly courting the attentions of a weird sea creature that he falls outrageously and instantly in love with

It's been ten years since Hob Gadling challenged the pretty, dark-haired stranger in the tavern to a friendly game of cards. Ten years to the day, he thinks, though of a necessity, of recent, he hasn't been tracking the hours with quite as much accuracy as he has in the past. Ten years since he'd laid down a nine of Hounds that he'd secreted up his sleeve and confidently declared himself a winner. Ten years since the audacity of his cheating had made Death herself laugh until she grew hoarse from it.

This won't be a blessing to you, she'd said. Humans aren't meant for eternity. Their minds aren't wired for it. It does queer things to their souls.

He'd wanted it anyways. You say that someday, if I wait for it long enough, we'll sail the stars the same way we sail the sea, he'd said in response. I want to see that. I want to dip my hand into the heavens.

He'd accepted immortality with open arms, and damn the consequences, and Death had smiled at him, an odd little twist to her lips that Hob only now recognizes, with the gift of hindsight, as pity, and she'd patted him gently on the hand.

And now the consequences come to damn him right back.

It has been ten years since Hob cheated Death, and it has been three days since his crew marooned him on this sun-blasted ocean strand, and Hob feels quite strongly that, somewhere along the way, he has perhaps made a mistake. Lingered too long, perhaps. Grew too complacent. The immortality was never the problem, by his reckoning, only that he stayed in one place overlong, and assumed that old friendships would survive the revelation that Robert Gadling had ceased to age, the knowledge that the few lines of silver threaded at his temples were the only wealth that Time, the old bastard, would ever bestow upon him.

So now he lies upon the sand beneath the baking noonday sun, so close to England that he might spit upon it if he only had any liquid left in him, and yet so far away that it might as well be hung in the sky alongside the moon. He knows precisely where he is. He knows the shipping lanes exactly, and how none of them intersect with where he's been left. When night comes, he stares up into the sky and marks the position of Polaris with a breathless ache in his breast.

Only a hundred leagues from London, give or take, and he's finally going to learn if he dies of thirst like any other poor sinner.

The weaker he feels, the more tempting the ocean becomes. The glass blue expanse of it a drink that cannot pass his lips, the sultry, cool depths a balm to sunburned skin. If he crawled into the sea, he thinks it'd be a kinder end than baking himself to death on the sand like a beached whale.

The thought hooks into him, and does not let go. The sun crawls below the horizon, inch by inch, and when the last of its light bleeds away, and the stars peek their winking eyes beyond the shadowy skirts of night, the chill of the night air fills him with a new invigoration, and Hob pushes himself to standing.

He has been stabbed, and clubbed, and strangled in the past ten years, and it has all hurt, but none of it has stuck. Mortal wounds have miraculously healed. He never seems to run out of blood.

Drowning, he thinks, will be a new experience, and there is some part of that that cheers him. After all it, was new experiences that drove him to cheat Death.

Humming tunelessly to himself, Hob wobbles down to the edge of the water, and looks at it for a time, and shrugs.

He keeps walking.

He walks into the sea and lets it take him.

Surprisingly, he wakes up.

He wakes up to pain.

There is a deep and uncomfortable throbbing radiating from his inner thigh; all of him is cold and wet, so numb he can't even shiver, and his eyes are having trouble focusing. Or perhaps it's only that it's dark, a tenebrous pitch so thick it seems a texture, and spotted all throughout with hundreds of glittering stars.

Stars.

"Fuck," he says, and hears, somewhere in that darkness, somewhere close, a chittering, clicking noise like a startled animal, and the pain at his thigh eases, but does not cease. The spotted field of starlight vanishes, and Hob's eyes begin to adjust to the velvet darkness, and right as he thinks he's got a handle on things, his eyes picking out a vague and huddled shape, the entire area floods with multicolored light. It's blinding. It's beautiful.

The thing in the light is beautiful. A vibrant, oceanic shape, roiling and tempestuous as the sea; he catches a glimpse of skin as pale as fresh milk, the outline of a face as sharply-cut as though it were hewn from marble, and the busy movement of uncountable limbs, twitching and grasping, indigo-blue and purple and dawning pink. The light comes from the creature's body, he thinks. Like it carries the whole of the night sky under its skin.

It's gorgeous. It's otherworldly. It is, very clearly, not human.

There's blood smeared all around its mouth. Dripping claret red to compliment the blue-black of its hair, hanging lank and salt-stained around eyes that were never intended to see the sun. Its eyes are wide, and unblinking, and black as the deepest reaches of the ocean, with flecks of diamond light bursting in the depths of them, like bubbles, like stars.

"Did you bite me?" he says, the cold and the blood loss making him bold, or insane, or both. The creature hisses at him, and, between one moment and the next, it has darted past him, quicker than the eye can follow, and Hob finds himself alone, and once again in darkness.

Though there is a faint light in the direction the creature went, and one that is recognizable. The sun. The sun. Hob gets his good leg underneath himself, and feels the ooze of blood run hot and staticky down his injured thigh, and, one bleeding foot at a time, he crawls towards the light.

Later, convalescing in St. Peter's Church, bandages wound tight around the meat of his thigh, Hob muses that Brighton seems to be a lovely town at this time of the year. Airy, quaint, a little dock just large enough for a decent-sized ship, if one was so inclined to visit. Quite a lot of sandy beaches, and a handful of chalky white cliffs that hide secret grottoes within their water-carved depths.

His fingers find his thigh, almost by instinct now, and though he cannot see them, he imagines he can still feel them. The needle-point of the creature's teeth buried in his flesh. The hot gush of blood. He'd seen the marks left behind, while the sisters of the Church had generously cleaned his wounds: two perfect rows of garish red, precisely the width and height of a human mouth, if a human mouth were equipped with daggers instead of teeth.

Their minds aren't wired for it, Death had said of humans, and immortality. It does queer things to their souls.

Hob traces his fingers over the hidden marks, sure to leave a scar, and feels a pulsing satisfaction at the idea. He hopes it scars. He rather hopes he feels it ache, when storms pass overhead.

He thinks he's going to find another ship. Another crew. Be more careful this time. And, when he's back on his feet, when he's got a good blade and a bit of coin to his name, he's going to come back. He's going to find that creature that took a chunk from his thigh.

He thinks he might ask it to do it again.

#siren au #dreamling #hob gadling #dream of the endless #the sandman #fanfic #my fic

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deaths-butterfly · 13 days ago

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Castorice hummed in thought. The librarian had mentioned her planet was sheltered, much more so than Okhema. She supposed it made sense that Lisa didn't know much. Yet it did not ease the demigod's worries. With little to no knowledge of their surroundings, the group could easily be caught off guard.

Thankfully, she also heard that strange woman's call. Safety in numbers and what not.

She used her last bit of wood to repair more of the boat and looked to her companion.

“I am certainly not opposed, Miss Lisa. I think we could all use it.” She smiled but her thoughts drifted to the Chrysos Heirs. Her current group did resemble them in a way.

That brooding man reminded her much of Lord Mydei, and his cunning friend was much like Lady Aglaea. The girl with the pillow-like companions was like Lady Hyacine, albeit with more sass, if she was honest. And Miss Lisa. Miss Lisa was certainly Lady Tribios. Wise, but comforting.

“Let's head out, Miss Lisa. Our companions are surely waiting.”

End

Two Immortals with Death Problems Repair a Ship

#GHRevelation2025

#word count: 174 #thread: two immortals with death problems #passing death // threads #touch of death // in character #a flower from lisa #activity (june)#ghrevelation2025 #revelationbeach2025 #//group rest time :wahoonrat:

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crithaus · 2 years ago

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I think about the "I live as long as Whitestone lives," Percy and Keyleth conversation and I am going to attempt to spit my feelings out about it but be warned I am both horrible at expressing my feelings and for some reason my brain will understand the base information of something said and completely shit out on the subtleties even if it should be easy so here we go

Keyleth has at this point known she is going to live for fucking ever, even without the Aramente, at some point on her journey the end mechanics will give her Timeless Body and she will age 1 year for every 10 she lives or something close to that, She knows that at the end of their adventuring shell live for So Long and that gives her an inordinate amount of time to, to borrow from kerrick's letter, tend to her Gardens. The weight of that time and her burgeoning leadership weighs on her deeply but even now at her young age she's already distanced herself a little bit from the mortals around her because she really isn't one, she knows she'll have time to figure her problems out, she doesn't have to worry about short-term because hers is like centuries long. Her story is long enough and she doesn't need reminding of it.

Percy, for all his responsibility shirking and for all his 'dumps Whitestone's rule on Cass immediately' and for all his flightiness, is both keenly intune with Whitestone's short-term and so deeply invested in it and it's people and the concept of their short-term and how truly short it is and how little time they all have ahead of them and it brings a maturity and wisdom, a bit of natural leadership, out in him that he rarely lets show what with his "I am the only adult in any given room," mindset. You can always count on Keyleth to be the voice of reason of the two of them in any given situation but not so here.

Keyleth wants to focus on helping the people of Whitestone' in the bunker, on the practical matters, and Percy is busy immortalizing the story of Whitestone thus far into the stone around them, and Keyleth rolls her eyes a bit at that and yeah to focus on that, the impractical, the roses and the fluff and the 'bragging' while the world is crumbling around them, when death looms over with a shadow none of them can outrun, it does seem a little silly, but Percy is quick to bring her back down to earth, because while Percy's frailish frame will only last out the century maybe, his legacy has lived on for many, and will live on for many many more, and all the souls in whitestone are his legacy and him, his beating heart, and he is theirs and they have lived far before he did and will live on far after as will he. And to be human, to be Percy, is to garden the tiniest plot of living breathing soil imaginable all your life, but to do so with every ancestor and descendant he will ever have at his side, one tiny plot turning into a living, thriving landscape, something that will outlive you but that will always always carry you and all that makes you beautifully and wonderfully yourself in it, like weaving a quilt

But the quilt is Whitestone and every hand has a stitch in it, and some hands spin the thread and some move the shuttle and some gather the cloth into baskets and this tapestry contains blood and death and tears and heartache and a man sticking a flower in his wife's hair, and a baby being brought out under the snow for the first time, the first good harvest and the last winter's crest, and the briarwoods dancing through the ballroom with the floor slick with gore, and Percy and Cass and Vesper, Julius, Melanie, and Yennan and that unnamed little boy who picks up that chalk, Percy's been living longer than any of them and will outlive the lot of them I know because despite his young age and despite his numerous other shortcomings, despite that his heart was always and forever will be rooted right here in Whitestone, in the most little moment possible, it helped keep him alive in his deepest, darkest moments. Even now when the world is crumbling around them again, Percy is there and Whitestone's heart is still beating, it still lives and so does he at the new end of the world in the dearth of all magic. He himself is so very shortsighted and despite that, when it counted, he was still so cognizant of the greater good and the importance of what it means to be human and to tell stories, and hope, and to have those stories and that hope live on even in such dire, desperate straits so one day far off from now, someone will find a message from someone long since dead like "hey, hello! I lived here! I loved here, I mattered and so will you, and you'll know my story and perhaps you'll stay and tell your own." Just like the handprints on la Cueva de los Manos.

Just ARGH, he can be so mature when he wants to be. He'll be right besides Keyleth even if it doesn't feel like it until she takes her own last breath, She will not go into that good and gentle night alone and Percy was trying to tell her that in his own Percy-ish way.

#critical role #vox machina #percy de rolo #keyleth of the air ashari #it is a rare breezy day in hell when percy is right about something and Keyleth isn't cuz percy is So Wrong So Often #and as much as he swears up and down he is the worst most tragic most irredeemable person ever he still proves he isnt #even before laura decided to kiss him even when tal was gunning for Percy's end he still gives Percy this moment #percy still shows and proves that his heart is so so good and so understanding and so wise #despite tals best efforts percy still is so capable of good with or without his girls to keep him straight

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tanjamikaelson · 4 years ago

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BITTERSWEET - CHAPTER 2

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 2: | LE JOUR OÙ VOUS DEVENIEZ MON AMANT (The day you became my lover) |

[NEW ORLEANS 1919]

It was a full house in a theatre and Klaus was sitting in a private box, looking bored and impatient while he read through the program of the night. When Lorena arrived he immediately looked up.

“Rebekah just went to find Marcel. Their first big date after I gave them a blessing and he’s nowhere to be found.” Klaus informed her as Lorena sat next to him.

“Well, I came to keep you company.” Lorena informed him with a smile, “If you don’t have anything against it.”

Klaus raised his eyebrows with a smirk forming on his lips, “I wouldn't dream of having something against it.”

As Lorena was about to speak the two of them heard a voice coming from behind, “There you are, boy.”

When Klaus realized that it was Mikael he forgot about everything he was talking about with Lorena.

Mikael sat down behind him and poked his white oak stake against Klaus’ back. “I would advise against trying to flee, boy.” Mikael warned, “I can drive this into your heart before you can even think of getting to your feet, and I don't want you to die.. yet.”

“Father..” Klaus whispered in shock and fright. That was the first time that Lorena saw him being afraid of someone.

Mikael chukled, “"Father? Still clinging to that word after all these years, a bastard desperate for a daddy? I wonder if your real father would be as embarrassed as I was of you before I discovered you were not mine. Most likely.” Angry, Klaus was about to turn around but Mikael stopped him, “Oh, oh. Uh-uh. Easy now, boy.” Mikael gripped Klaus by his shoulder to tug him back into his seat, “Don't worry. Death will come, but we need to have a little chat before you shuffle off your immortal coil.”

“Any words we have for each other have been spoken long ago. But, know this - I am no longer the animal begging for scraps of your affection. I will die knowing my hatred for you was just. I will feel proud of all I have achieved here. So, Mikael, if you're going to kill me, then get on with it.” Klaus told him and Lorena felt him grip her hand.

“Au contraire, Niklaus. Some things remain unsaid. For instance, you were right to be proud of your achievement here. As I walked the streets, your name was spoken of in reverent tones by the city's finest. So, after I kill you and of course your lovely lady.” Klaus stiffened at the mention of her death, “I will remain here in New Orleans until every last person who remembers you is dead. The deeds of the mighty Klaus will be remembered by no one and you, boy, will simply never have existed.” The orchestra began to warm up in front of the stage, “Ah. The grand show.” Mikael’s interest was taken to the orchestra, he relaxed, pulling the stake away from Klaus as the lights went down. He leaned forward and tapped Klaus' shoulder, “Oh, I made some alterations in your honor. You'll love it.”

The curtain went up to reveal Marcel staked through his hands to a wooden cross. He was barely conscious. And Rebekah was laying down on the floor with a wooden stake impaled through her chest. The audience laughed and applauded.

“Rebekah..” Lorena said worriedly and she lifted herself out of her seat but Klaus caught her, slamming her back down for her own safety. But she couldn’t bear the sight of Rebekah dead on the floor, even though she wasn’t staked with the white oak stake. Lorena vamp-speed to the stage, ignoring the laughter and applause as she pulled out a stake from Rebekah’s chest.

Suddenly Lorena felt a grip on the back of her throat causing her to gasp. Mikael looked down towards her before he twisted his hand with ease and snapped her neck, letting her body fall limp beside Rebekah’s.

・ • ・ • ・

“The three of you must flee the city. I'll hold him off, Niklaus.” Elijah said to Klaus and Rebekah.

“No.” Klaus said and looked at Lorena who was still unconscious, lying on the ground, “She can’t go with us. She will never be safe.”

“And if she stays here Mikael will kill her and you know that.” Elijah told him.

“He’s right Nik, there’s no way that we’re leaving her here.” Rebekah argued.

“I-we almost lost her.” Lorena heard Klaus say as she began to wake up.

“Bekah?” Lorena said as she opened her eyes and began to lift herself up. Klaus was right next to her so he was quick to give her a hand.

“Niklaus, please. Sister, come.” Elijah said, then hugged Rebekah and kissed her cheek softly, “You must leave. Go.” Klaus stared at him as a single tear fell from his face, “Leave!”

Klaus reluctantly obeyed Elijah's orders and disappeared with Lorena and Rebekah into the night.

[CHICAGO 1920]

Lorena was on a dance floor, dancing with some guy. Her hand was on his shoulder and his was on her waist as they started moving slowly from side to side. Her gaze went over to Klaus who was sitting in a booth and feeding on some girl, but as soon as he felt Lorena looking he stopped feeding and looked at her.

"Lorena, you are beautiful." A guy she was dancing with said as he leaned closer to her ear so that she could hear him over the music.

"Thanks." Lorena replied, and in the next moment, all she could hear was blood pumping through a vein on his neck that was close to her. Lorena slowly tilted his head to one side but tried to fight to urge to feed on him right where everyone could see.

Suddenly she felt the other pair of hands on her waist and Klaus whispered into her ear, "Don't fight it, love, do like I taught you."

Immediately Lorena relaxed, taking a step back to lean into Klaus. "Compel him." Klaus whispered again.

Then Lorena looked deep into the guy's eyes and said, "Be quiet, don't move." After she compelled him she tilted his head again and buried her head into his neck, sinking her fangs into his flesh and enjoying the feeling of fresh blood filling her mouth.

“Listen to his heartbeat, he's almost gone." Lorena heard Klaus say, his breath felt hot on her skin.

Then she pulled back and withdrew her fangs, she decided not to kill the guy and she let him go.

"Why did you stop, love?" Klaus asked as he turned Lorena around to face him. "Gloria probably wouldn't like it if I killed him here." Lorena told him.

"Well, I don't have a problem with her." Klaus told her.

"That's because you always get away with everything." Lorena replied, placing her hand over his shoulder and around his neck.

Klaus smiled, "Exactly, so no one can do anything to you either. I wouldn't let them."

"Thank you, Nik." Lorena said with a smile.

"No need to thank me, love." Klaus told her and with one of his hands he moved the strand of her hair from her face and behind her ear, keeping his hand on her cheek afterward and she leaned into it giving him a smile.

Then he leaned closer and kissed her, she didn't think twice about kissing him back. Lorena wanted to kiss him for a few months now, but everything between them was moving slowly. Especially now at this moment, everything seemed to stop, Lorena didn't hear the music anymore, she just felt his lips against hers. The kiss was not rushed, it's passionate and slow, just like Lorena imagined it. All too soon she felt Klaus pulling back from the kiss, but Lorena moved forward keeping her lips connected and she felt him smile against her lips. The two kissed for a few more minutes but knowing they both had to breathe, their lips disconnected.

Lorena immediately misses the feeling of his lips against hers, her eyes flutter open just as Klaus' do and the two of them stand there, her eyes locked relishing the moment that they just shared their first kiss.

"I wanted to do that for quite some time now." Klaus whispered, his eyes darting around her face. His eyes locked with hers and he smiled again.

"Me too." Lorena said softly, and leaned forward again, kissing him gently, but all too soon the kiss was over.

"So you think my sister approves of us?" Klaus asked.

"Like you care about that." Lorena told him, "But I think she does."

Klaus gave Lorena a smile and kissed her again, it was a simple yet passionate and emotion-filled kiss.

"You're right, I don't care." Klaus said through the kiss.

Lorena smiled against his lips and he grabbed her waist more tightly pulling her body closer to his, and deepening the kiss. She felt his tongue touch her lips and she parted them, allowing him to dance with hers. She threaded her fingers in his hair, tugging gently at the locks.

Slowly he kissed down her jaw, to her neck. He sucked and bit at her neck, causing a low groan to escape her throat. He groaned too as her blood filled his mouth.

When he stopped he looked at her saying, "You taste as good as I imagined." Lorena smiled at him and he added, "Feed on me."

Klaus’ hand slipped behind her neck gently pulling her head towards his throat. Lorena couldn't help it, her fangs broke through and she greedily stared at his pulse point. Klaus tilted his head to the side to give her better access.

Lorena kissed the spot on his neck before she sank her fangs into the soft skin. His blood was delicious, better than any she ever tasted, even human. Klaus was sighing with pleasure now, his hands running over her hair, her back, her hips, and she didn’t even care that everyone could see what they were doing. “It’s getting a little too hot in here.” The two of them hear Rebekah’s voice. Lorena reluctantly pulled away from Klaus and he didn't like that. Her eyes saw Rebekah who was grinning at both of them.

"Don't listen to her, love." Klaus said into her ear and before she said anything back Lorena found herself in the alley behind Gloria's bar. She was standing against the wall, Klaus' arms placed on the wall on each side of her head.

"Klaus, why did you.." Lorena spoke.

"I want some alone time with you, without Rebekah around." Klaus said, she could feel his breath against her lips.

Her lips were on his after that, pouring their passion into each other and tugging at his curls with her fingers. Her mouth hung open as he started grinding his erection into her tight.

"Klaus." Lorena muttered.

"Yes, love?" Klaus asked and started kissing down her neck.

"Maybe we should take this to the bedroom." Lorena suggested, a raspy moan erupted from her mouth as Klaus started sucking on her neck.

"That's not a problem." Klaus said and used his vamp-speed to quickly take Lorena back home.

As soon as they entered the apartment both of them started to strip each other's clothes leaving them on the floor until they were both in underwear. The next thing Lorena knew she hit the bed with a sharp gasp and Klaus pulled her panties down her legs, before hovering over her.

Closing her eyes Lorena moaned when his fingertips teased her entrance. Then his hand moved to her chest, ripping her bra off. He trailed his mouth to her nipple, swirling his tongue around it and sucking. Her head fell back and another moan sounded throughout the room.

"But.. Klaus.." Lorena breathed out and he came back to her face.

"But what?" Klaus asked, looking into her eyes.

"I've never done this before." Lorena muttered.

"I figured." Klaus smiled, "I promise I'll be gentle." He assured her and cupped her cheek before he returned to kissing down her chest and lower. He parted her legs and sucked at her inner thighs, humming as he trailed closer and closer to where she wanted him the most. She sucked in a deep breath as Klaus placed his tongue over her clit. Lorena dug her fingers in his hair and moaned, tilting her head back onto the pillow. Klaus looked up at her and the eye contact caused more heat to spread in her core. He closed his eyes and gave a little suck. “Oh my god.” Lorena tried to cover her mouth but Klaus tugged her hand away from her face. He wanted to hear her, he wanted to know how good he was making her feel. The more noises she made, the more pleased he got, intensifying his moves. He sucked again and her lower abdomen built up with unfamiliar tension and she held onto the back of his head tighter. Then she felt how her first orgasm ran through her body. Lorena didn't know this feeling, but it felt divine.

All contact made with Klaus was lost when he pulled away from her body briefly. Lorena propped herself on her elbows, letting her eyes wander over his body as he quickly discarded his boxers. She bit her lower lip as she watched him crawling back to bed to hover over her. He lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Klaus asked sweetly as he held her hand above her head on the pillow. He gazed into her eyes, waiting for her answer. Lorena nodded, "I wanted to do this with you." she assured him. She could feel the tip of his length pressing into her folds. She squeezed his hand next to her head and gasped as he pushed inside, slowly sinking into her. It was uncomfortable at first, the foreign feeling of being so full, his cock stretching her with some difficulty. She dug her nails into his back and Klaus tried not to lose all his self-control. Lorena felt him stop when he was half-buried inside of her.

"You can move, I'm okay." Lorena whispered and held onto the back of his neck. She pulled him into a kiss. He kissed her back, but quickly ended the kiss, as she clenched her muscles around him to reassure him. Klaus breathed in sharply before he continued his moves, which were a little more delicate now. He was slow and steady, gentle with her, and Lorena soon began to move with him, pulling him closer, raising her hips, kissing his neck and face.

He began to move faster, as her legs moved higher, wrapping around his hips instinctively. The rhythm sent waves of pleasure through her, her voice was low and throaty as she urged him on, saying his name. She pulled him down for another kiss and hummed into his mouth. Klaus groaned into her mouth with each thrust and the room was filled with your muffled cries and grunts. "Oh god.” Lorena whispered against his lips.

He pressed his lips to her neck. “Klaus.” She whispered before the built-up tension took over her body and she scratched down his back. Klaus growled, his intensity building to a punishing pace. He was moving faster than Lorena had thought possible now. Her gasps and moans send him to the edge. And she let out a loud moan when a wave of numbness and warmth swept her away. Klaus' body collapsed onto hers and she welcomed him in an embrace, stroking his hair. The two of them laid tangled in sheets, covered with sweat, still panting.

END OF FLASHBACK

When Lorena woke up she noticed that Rebekah didn’t even come home last night. Then she left Rebekah’s room and went to her guest room. She saw that her suitcases were brought to the room and he put new clothes on and walked downstairs. When she entered the living room she saw Klaus holding a sketchbook in his hands and drawing. Quickly before he noticed her, she turned away, but it was too late.

“Are you avoiding us, darling?” Lorena heard Kol ask.

And now she couldn’t do anything but turn towards them, Kol was looking at her but Klaus didn’t even move, he was still looking down at his sketchbook. “I’m not avoiding you, Kol.” Lorena told him.

Kol smiled at her, “Fancy a drink?” he said and poured her a glass of whiskey and Lorena took it, swallowing everything in one gulp, “Didn’t drink enough last night?” he asked.

“Not nearly enough.” Lorena replied.

“So I wanted to ask you how you know Bekah?” Kol asked.

“I lived in New Orleans, and met her at one of the Mikaelson parties.” Lorena replied while she filled one more glass with whiskey and drank it in one gulp again.

“Easy on that, you don’t want to get drunk.” Kol remarked.

“Maybe I do.” Lorena told him.

“Why didn’t you bring a date last night? A boyfriend?” Kol asked.

“I would if I had one.” Lorena shortly replied.

Kol smirked at her, liking the sound of that, “I’m surprised that you don’t.”

“I’m not really interested in dating..” Lorena told him, a moment later adding, “And getting my heartbroken, again.”

“Well, whoever broke your heart doesn’t deserve you.” Kol stated, not knowing that it was his brother.

Lorena looked down to the floor, “I guess you’re right.”

Suddenly Rebekah walked into a room, still wearing the green dress from the day before. Kol immediately jumped up to his feet making his way towards his sister and blocking her way.

“Well, well, well, there’s our girl.” Kol greeted his sister.

“Get out of my way, Kol.” Rebekah hissed and Klaus finally looked up from his sketchbook at them.

“Out all night. What a scandal!” Kol said as Rebekah tried to walk past him, but he blocked her way again, “I trust you did better than that commoner?” he cocked his head to one side to increase the effect, “Matt, was it?”

“If you don’t shut your mouth the next thing to come out of it will be her teeth.” Rebekah warned him, glaring down at him and Klaus couldn’t help but grin at their conversation. Rebekah turned her glare on him, “Don’t start, Nik.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Klaus said, raising his pencil indignantly.

Kol sat back down on the armchair and looked at Klaus, “I’m bored. Our sister is a strumpet, but at least she's having fun. I need entertainment.” he told him.

“What are you waiting for? Go on, have at it.” Klaus said, waving his arm to make his point.

“It's not fun to go alone, join me Nik. It's the least you could do after sticking a dagger into my heart.” Kol whined while Klaus just scoffed.

Klaus was silent for a moment before he closed his sketchbook and stood up, “Okay, why not? I didn't have nearly enough to drink last night, with you trying to murder Rebekah's date.”

Klaus quickly exited the room and Kol was at the door when he turned towards Lorena and said, “And if you want to get drunk, you can join us.”

“Please go. This house has enough men rolling around in it.” Rebekah shouted at him.

Kol smirked and pointed at her, “Just like you, Bekah.”

“Good riddance, both of you.” Rebekah told him, throwing a shoe at Kol, who avoided it with a laugh.

“You wouldn’t mind if I go with them?” Lorena asked her.

“You can go if you want to, I need to take a shower and cleanse myself from..” Rebekah spoke and stopped.

Lorena raised her eyebrow, “From who, Matt?”

“No. From Damon Salvatore.” Rebekah muttered.

Lorena's eyes widened at the realization, “Wait. Damon Salvatore as the brother of a ripper Stefan Salvatore?” Rebekah only nodded, “And I thought I saw him last night.” Lorena added.

“Yeah, well they live here and Klaus and Stefan are not on good terms anymore.” Rebekah informed her.

“Well name one person who’s on good terms with your brother.” Lorena remarked.

・ • ・ • ・

Lorena went to the Mystic grill and found Kol and Klaus sitting at the bar. She sat next to Kol and ordered a drink.

“I’m glad you decided to join.” Kol spoke when he saw her.

“Well Bekah is taking a shower and I didn’t want to be alone.” Lorena explained.

“I agree, it’s no fun drinking alone.” Kol said as he clicked his glass with hers.

Half an hour later Kol and Lorena were quite drunk, Lorena ignored Klaus as long as they were there and he did the same.

Then Kol pointed at the blonde girl from last night, “I remember her from last night. She looks like a tasty little thing.”

“If you say another word I'll tear out your liver.” Klaus told him through gritted teeth, then he greeted her with a smile, “Caroline!”

But she didn’t look happy to see him, “Oh, it's you.”

“Join us for a drink?” Klaus suggested, holding his glass to her and so did Kol. “Mmm, I'd rather die of thirst. But thanks.” Caroline smirked, before oddly heading back out of the bar.

Lorena almost spits out her drink at the rejection that Klaus just got.

“Isn't she stunning?” Klaus asked his brother before he drank his drink in one gulp.

“She certainly looks good walking away from you.” Kol taunted, a grin on his face.

“I'll take that as a challenge.” Klaus stated before he quickly stood up and made his way after her.

As soon as he left Kol turned towards Lorena, “So what’s the deal with the two of you?”

“Between me and you brother?” Lorena asked.

Kol nodded, “Yes, the tension between the two of you in the room is unbearable.”

Lorena finished her drink before saying, “We used to have dated.”

“That’s what I thought.” Kol stated, “How long ago?”

“Almost a century ago, it ended when he daggered Rebekah and left me in Chicago with a fucking goodbye letter.” Lorena told him bitterly. She didn’t like to think about it.

“Well, I’m not surprised, that’s what he does.” Kol shrugged as he told her, “But I can help you get your mind off of him or make him jealous.”

Lorena raised her eyebrow at him, “Oh, really, how?” she asked.

Kol smirked, “All in due time, but for now, let’s play billiard.” he suggested. The two of them went over to an empty billiard table and he handed her a cue stick.

“I take it, you know how to play?” Kol questioned.

“I'm good at a lot of things.” Lorena smirked at him.

"Looking forward to discovering more of them." Kol winked.

Kol set things in place and Lorena took the first shot, balls stretched across the table. She poked one purple striped ball with the first shot and then took the next shot, but she didn’t have luck this time.

“You hit them too hard.” Kol said standing behind her, “Here let me show you.” then she felt his body touching hers.

He placed his hands over hers on the cue stick and connected the stick with the white ball, before hitting it with just the right amount of force and Lorena watched how the ball slid across the table and hit a yellow solid ball, dropping it into a pocket.

“That’s how you do it.” Kol whispered into her ear and gripped her waist with another hand pulling her closer to him.

“You didn’t have to do this..” Lorena muttered, turning her head towards his.

“Maybe I wanted to..” Kol whispered his lips were so close to hers that Lorena could almost feel them. And a moment after that he captured her lips with his, she was surprised at first but she kissed him back. In the heat of the moment, her fangs came out and she bit his lower lip, then she pulled away.

“I’m so sorry.” Lorena apologized.

“I don’t mind, darling.” Kol smiled, still holding her against him

“I haven't fed for almost a day.” Lorena told him.

“Are you serious?” Kol’s eyes widened, “That's not good, let’s find a snack for both of us.” he suggested and scanned the room, "That one." he pointed with his head.

Lorena turned around and saw a girl who was currently alone at the other pool table.

Kol walked up to her, saying, "A woman of your caliber ought to choose a more suitable company. What's your name, love?"

"None of your business." She replied.

"Let's try that again. I'll start. I'm Kol." Kol told her.

"Why don't you get lost, Kol?" She suggested.

"And why would I do that? I like pretty little things with sharp tongues." Kol said in an amused voice and walked towards her.

He easily cornered her, running his hand over her cheek. He looked into her eyes, compelling her, "Come with me."

She slapped his hand away, "That's not gonna work, jerk."

Lorena laughed as she watched him fail and felt someone's presence behind her. She turned around just in time to see a tall guy with dark hair and blue eyes, but quickly after that, he snapped her neck.

When Damon snapped her neck, Alaric was the one to dagger Kol and they pulled them outside at the back of the grill.

It took Lorena a few minutes longer to heal because she hasn't fed for almost a day, but when she did she heard voices of Klaus, Elijah, Kol, and Damon close to her.

She heard Elijah saying, "You tell me where the witches are or I'll have my sister kill Elena right now."

Damon looked up at the clock tower and sees that it's 8:30, "You told me we had until after nine."

"I'm sure Rebekah will be more than happy to start her work early." Elijah replied.

Kol noticed that Lorena was awake and he helped her to get on her feet, while Damon told Klaus and Elijah where their mother was.

"What's happening?" Lorena asked Kol.

"Nothing you should worry about, we'll handle it." Kol told her, "Go back to the mansion and feed, please."

Then he gave her a quick kiss on purpose right in front of Klaus.

・ • ・ • ・

After that Lorena went back to the mansion and fed on the first servant girl that she came across there. She was so hungry that it didn't take long for her to drain her dry.

She waited for the Mikaelson's to come back and they all came back together, except Rebekah.

"What happened?" Lorena asked them.

"Our mother lost, she and Finn are gone." Elijah informed her.

"That's great." Lorena replied.

"Yes it is, we can continue where we left off." Kol said and cupped her face in his hands before kissing her.

When Lorena pulled away he looked over at Klaus who just turned his head away.

Kol smirked and leaned closer to her ear, "It's working." Then he grabbed her hand, "Come with me?" He didn't give her a chance to answer, he just vamp-speeded her to the hallway and slammed her against the wall. His palms slammed against the wall on either side of her. Kol's eyes trailed down her body, and she was filled with excitement.

He trailed the index finger down her throat, "Do you want this, darling?" his eyes flick away from her neck to her face and Lorena meets his steady gaze. "Yes." Lorena breathed out.

"You're gonna have to be louder than that." Kol told her and leaned forward, placing his nose along the column of her neck, inhaling. He's hardly ever touching her, but the moment his skin brushes her, she felt her knees go weak. "Kol.." Lorena opened her mouth to speak but found that the only thing she could say was his name. She said it softly, voice scarcely above the whisper.

Kol looked at her, his eyes lit up, "Say it again, but louder." he whispered, his lips almost touching hers. He pulled back and returned to her neck again, this time Lorena felt his fangs scrape her skin. She inhaled deeply before she felt his fangs piercing her skin. Lorena moaned out his name louder than before when he bit her and she tangled her hands in his hair.

He was sucking her blood for a few moments, before he pulled away and crashed his mouth against hers, slamming her further against the wall. Lorena clawed at his neck, trying desperately to get a little closer to him if that was even possible. He reached down, hitching her leg over his hip, his hand hovering dangerously high underneath her skirt. His fingers brush the edge of her panties and Lorena hissed against his mouth.

He answered with a deep laugh and she could see that he was clearly enjoying this, not even sure anymore if he wanted to help her make Klaus jealous or he was doing this because he wanted her, or both.

Then he grasped her other leg, lifting her up. Lorena locked her legs around his waist, then cupped his face, kissing him harder. Kol knew that it was time to move to the bedroom so he flashed them to the nearest one. He dropped her down to the bed, then nudged her legs apart with his knees and crawled between them, kissing her inner thighs. She raised her hips and he pulled down her skirt along with her panties and tossed them down on the floor. His fingers moved slowly over her throbbing clit, circling it. Then his fingers finally entered her, making Lorena clutch the sheets on the bed. His fingers were moving frantically in and out of her, curling inside of her and driving her insane with pleasure. Lorena kept trying to be quiet, but it all felt too good, Kol was making her writhe and she couldn't stifle the loud moans. Kol felt the spasms of her inner muscles around his fingers and he knew that Lorena was close to the edge. Lorena felt like her body was on fire, every nerve ending being connected to her core, screaming for release as Kol used all of his skills to make her come undone in front of him. He started kissing her inner thighs again, moving closer to her clit and she curled her fingers into his hair. His lips brushed over the heated skin of her core and Lorena pushed her hips into him, urging him on. His tongue flicked her clit, working three of his fingers into her at this point. The immense pleasure was radiating through her entire body feeling his lips sucking her hard. "Kol.." Lorena cried out in pleasure, as he pushed his fingers harder into her, feeling her whole body tremble under his touch when waves of pure ecstasy washed over her. Then he stood up and grabbed her legs before he flipped her over so she was laying on her belly. He ran a hand down her back and over the curve of her butt, humming in pleasure. He spanked her ass, "Stay still." he ordered and she felt that he moved away. Lorena heard the sound of the zipper and jeans piling down onto the floor and then felt his warm body hover over hers again. He brushed her hair over her shoulder and nipped lightly on her neck, before roughly thrusting himself into her. Lorena felt her breath being physically shoved out of her as he pushed into her with such force without warning. He held her in place firmly as he drove himself into her repeatedly, setting her nerves on fire once again. "Oh..my..god.." Lorena screamed as he angled himself slightly differently to hit her deepest wall. "Scream my name, darling." Kol rasped out, feeling himself nearing the edge as her already swollen heat began to grip him tighter with every dive he took into her. "Ko..Kol." Lorena cried out, digging her nails into the pillow beside her head. "Uh, you feel so damn wonderful." Kol stopped pulling out and instead kept pressing himself as deep as he could go. He sat back on his legs and pulled Lorena against him so that her back was against his chest and he could grind deeply into her. Lorena lopped an arm around the back of his head and pulled at the hair on the nape of his neck as one of his hands reached down to play with her sensitive clit. She ground on him harder, feeling herself near the edge as he picked the pace with his fingers. He kissed her neck as he felt himself come into her. When Lorena felt the heat of him fill her, she reached her climax, arching her back and crying out his name as she trembled against him. He slowly eased her forward until she was once again lying on her belly before pulling out and lying beside her, both of them trying to catch their breath.

・ • ・ • ・

I know, this chapter is basically smut, but a few next ones are not going to be. I'm probably going to update this story every Saturday or Sunday. :)

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kkaeyva · 4 years ago

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safety, number one priority

𐐪𐑂 alternate title: why it didn’t work out

𐐪𐑂 a/n: ,,sorry :’) maybe

𐐪𐑂 includes: xiao

𐐪𐑂 genre(s): angst!! and a tiny tiny TINY bit of fluff at the beginning and then it all goes downhill from there

𐐪𐑂 warning(s): angst, breakup, xiao’s (descriptive) insecurities, mention of blood/gore, mention of death, abandonment, xiao’s delusional(ish?) thoughts, XIAO STORY SPOILERS, barely proofread

𐐪𐑂 word count: 0.7k

you taught him of his fears.

he saw bits and pieces of his allies in you; how much you resembled morax was uncanny, and the countless similarities between you and the yaksha he fought alongside during those years of vanquishing demons was one of the only— if not the only— reasons why he responded to you with more than a curt nod or rude remark.

he found how much he liked to listen to you talk. it was an odd sort of comfort to him— allowing him to reminisce about times he could never go back to, as if chasing after the threads of a fleeting thought or a fond memory that never was; a pleasant dream.

even during the quiet nights with you, when the remnants of evil gods slaughtered by his spear eons ago would cry out demanding vengeance, xiao didn’t feel the need to tune their voices out of his head. a mistake, he realizes now.

it was only an illusion of resistance.

their whispers planted seeds of doubt and insecurity inside his head, chanting, “what if they die? what if they disappear?”

he hated how he agreed sometimes.

everyone he respected did one of the two— so what makes you, just a mere mortal, any different? you, a measly human, compared to his adepti comrades of the past?

xiao was never one to care about emotions, nor did he indulge in them— after all, he was taught only to kill and bear the weight of his sins, wasn’t he? however, you were.. an outlier. you’re human, a mortal— your life has a limit. he began to view you as fragile, something he needed to watch over and constantly keep out of danger.

your safety became a constant concern. his stomach churned with an unfamiliar fear just from the thought of you in harm’s way. if you died or even got severely injured, what would he do? what could he do, if not lose his mind right then and there?

was this the bad karma from vanquished demons that was snaking up his limbs, threatening to trap him in a hellhole of karmic binds? if so, he’ll gladly sever the chains again, as many times as he could, no matter the consequences.

the breaking point was when he saw vivid flashes of imagery in his head where you would be drowning in your own blood— the terrifying emptiness that enveloped him was not something he wished to experience again. even if he knew it was just a figment of his imagination, something about it felt too real.

which is why he disappeared one night.

without leaving a message or a note, he left. he hesitated when his eyes flitted over to your sleeping form— no doubt you would wake up confused, wondering where he was. most of all, he could not imagine the heartbreak you would go through once you realize his absence was permanent.

he knows this, and yet, he doesn’t regret it. he knows that you being around him would only harm you. he can live with his negative karma, but he does not wish to burden others with his own problems.

besides, he reasons, you’ll heal with time, won’t you?

you are human, after all. you thrive on emotions; something he’ll never understand, but what he does know is that you will heal with time. you have plenty of it left— even if it is limited— and soon enough you will move on, whether it be by finding another or by death.

not him, though.

he will remember you only as a fragment of his immortal life, and soon enough you will be a memory of what has passed. cruel, isn’t it? how there isn’t an easy way out— xiao only knows pain and suffering ever since he could remember, but why was it different this time around? he was perplexed but did not pursue the matter. fulfilling his contract with rex lapis would occupy his mind again, and he will have no time to think about foolish, emotional things.

perhaps this was a blessing in disguise, xiao thinks.

as long as he’s the one who disappears, no harm will come in your way.

it’s all for your own safety.

#tw blood mention #tw gore mention #tw death mention #tw abandonment #angst #genshin impact #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact drabble #genshin x reader #xiao x reader #kkaeyva.writes #xiao.txt

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verycharismaticdragon · 4 years ago

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I'm oversimplifying things. You said WKX sacrificing himself for ZZS stems from his notion of being worth less. But isn't he selfish? He says he doesn't want to be the one left behind? One of the things I can't forgive the drama is that he never really owns up to not telling ZZS about his fake death and the consequences but instead basically condemns him to eternal life alone. I'm not good at thinking, staying too much on the surface. Would you happen to have further thoughts? Have a lovely day!

Oookay so. There is a reason I mostly refer to SHL’s finale as ‘that mess’, and this is not just from the perspective of the novel fan. Thing is, I do believe it is internally consistent with what the show has been building up (at least starting ep.9) – it’s just that what it has been building was... a snowball of communication issues.

That is to say, there are multiple threads that feed into Wen Kexing’s decision. He is scared of being the one left behind (the way he was when his parents were killed); he also thinks that out of the two of them, Zishu is the one who deserves to live. There is even certain logic to his decision: at that point, his only tether to the world is Zhou Zishu, while Zishu himself, well, he has Four Seasons Manor to rebuild, doesn’t he? Wasn’t that his dream? What Wen Kexing is missing, of course, is that there was never a version of this dream that didn’t include him – even pre-shixiongdi reveal. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? No matter how many times the word zhiji is said, half the relationship development for show!wenzhou hinges on misunderstandings.

You mentioned Wen Kexing never owning up to the consequences of fake-death. I’ve seen some rumors around that the show was intended to have more episodes – perhaps that is why the ending was so compressed, and perhaps in the initial version of the story the situation was given proper weight. There’s no way to know for sure (unless, idk, the script gets leaked or something). But from in-story perspective… I think this is yet another pro on Wen Kexing’s list for sacrificing himself: he gets to return to Zishu the life his bad decisions stole from him. And it’s not like Zhou Zishu would be stuck as an immortal – Ye Baiyi, after all, is going around rapidly catching up to his mortal age – but he at least would have time to raise Chengling, and teach all those new disciples he got…

You see, I don’t think Wen Kexing truly understands how integral he is to Zhou Zishu’s happiness and willingness to live. Obviously we as viewers know, but Wen Kexing, I think, believes he is only important to Zhou Zishu as a part of Four Seasons Manor – so if the Manor is restored, what is the loss of one Wen Kexing?

Now, before anyone gets the wrong idea, I don’t think Wen Kexing was in any way right in doing what he did. I think it was an incredibly shitty decision on top of the whole pile of shitty decisions. I’m just saying that from his point of view, he’s had all the reasons to do it.

But if we’re going to say Wen Kexing was wrong for taking the choice out of Zishu's hands, we also need to acknowledge that Zishu did that first, leaving Wen Kexing behind without so much as a goodbye and going off to die…

Although, sure, the avalanche of bad decisions was set off by Wen Kexing faking his death without telling Zhou Zishu anything. Was that one avoidable? I want to say it was – just the tiniest pinch of novel characterization, for example, would do the trick (either Wen Kexing candidly telling Zhou Zishu he’s leaving to finish his business or Zhou Zishu guessing Wen Kexing’s plan), – but then, looking at the way the show’s characterization was built prior to that… I can’t say it was exactly out of character for show!wenzhou to misunderstand each other at this time? Wen Kexing misjudging Zhou Zishu’s personality and possible reaction to something, Zhou Zishu not realizing Wen Kexing is scheming, it all happened before on the show.

I think the problem here was that, with all of this mess so close to the finale, it came off as if show!wenzhou’s relationship did not really... grow? They’re still as prone to miscommunicating as they were mid-show, so at best we’re left to assume that they solved their many, many problems sometime during their snow-filled eternity. Which isn’t really satisfactory, is it? I mentioned before that I like some ships with worse misunderstandings between them, but the thing I like them for is that cathartic moment when the characters finally get on the same page. But show!wenzhou never got that moment – the ending is yet another miscommunication! And then, sure, there’s a special where the characters are together and happy, and for some maybe that was enough relief, but it is no wonder so many people are dissatisfied. All those events could have a place in the middle of the story, but at the end of it, they just… cast the main couple in a bad light imo.

Welp, these are my somewhat rambly thoughts on the matter. Obviously, all of this is from a standpoint of treating the show as a separate entity from the novel. As the novel's fan, my opinion boils down to ‘could all be avoided by not making wenzhou so OOC in the first place’.

————

- SHL meta masterpost -

#wenzhou #wen kexing #zhou zishu #word of honor meta #word of honor #woh #shan he ling #shl

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rayveewrites · 4 years ago

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So who wants to hear about my extremely weird Hermitcraft AU? Anyone? Too bad, I'm talking about it anyway and y'all can't stop me.

So, you know the fantasy trope of "an ancient super-advanced civilisation that disappeared off the face of the planet/went extinct due to hubris/got wiped out by a plague/etc"? Yeah. That.

...Let me explain.

In this case, the ancient civilisation was, in fact, Players. Players came in a variety of shapes, sizes, species, etc. Humans, Mob Hybrids, Werefolk, Cyborgs, Shapeshifters, assorted Halloween monsters, full-on robots, aliens, technically-not-aliens-but-basically-aliens... the list goes on. Now, what made someone a Player was never particularly well-defined due to sheer variety, but there were a few common threads. Players could break, pick up and place blocks, they could use chests, crafting tables and their own inventories, they could respawn in non-hardcore worlds, and they had a certain level of intelligence (about on par with, say, a human).

So, anyway. One of the most common threads were that Players- all Players- had access to magic. Typically this manifested in the form of inventories, crafting, being able to break/place solid 1m³ blocks, and, of course, enchanting, with Admin and Operator powers manifesting in various worlds for specific people. There were other forms of magic, of course, but learning those typically required (at minimum) a lot of study and/or a level of attunement to that particular branch of magic.

Players lived in communities, on worlds- in this AU, all the worlds were connected, but separated by the world borders. The various Hermitcraft worlds were some of these, as were 3rd Life and Legacy SMP and Hypixel and so on.

So, that's the worldbuilding preamble out of the way.

The worlds updated every now and then, and they added, tweaked and (occasionally) removed various mobs, blocks and mechanics. But this update, the Final Update... nobody's quite sure why, but it removed magic.

Not completely, of course. It set in slowly. Villagers no longer transformed when they were slain by zombies. The monsters of the night became less and less common. Portals became unreliable, until they eventually stopped working entirely. World borders started to fail (and I feel sorry for those unlucky enough to neighbour servers like 2b2t). Enchanting became more temperamental. Still, Players were adaptable. They could manage.

Until they couldn't. See, while Players had magic running through their systems, and had since the universe had existed, all of a sudden their children...didn't. The big problem was that most species- Hybrids, Werefolk, Spaeshifters, Aliens and not-exactly-aliens... their biology meant their children physically couldn't survive without magic. The one exception? Humans.

Already in the majority, humans were the only race who could still produce living children. But these children weren't Players. They had no inventories, no ability to use a crafting table or break a block with their bare fists like their forebears. They managed though, adapting and creating new ways to craft and smelt. And as time went on... they became the only ones left.

See, while Players were all long-lived, and capable of respawn, they did eventually experience the Final Death, from which there was no coming back (ignoring the occasional ghost, resurrection, or any necromancy-related shenanigans that were frankly extremely rare to begin with). And as time wore on, Players slowly died out, until all that were left were those who were Undying, and the Humans who weren't Players (it's worth mentioning that Immortals and Undying were two different peoples. Immortality was granted by the gods; when the gods faded, their gifts faded with them. Undying, on the other hand, were those who had experienced their Final Death but kept going. Undead beings, if you will). Undying could be killed, if their body was so badly maimed their soul had no choice to fly free, but not so badly they would just respawn; as Human societies developed, many Undead succumbed to this fate, either by choice or by force, acts done by fearful Humans.

Let's go forward, now.

It's been over two thousand years since the Players died out, and longer since the Final Update. There is only one world now, the world borders long forgotten. The Players are myths, legends; a mysterious race, now long gone, their builds crumbling to ruin. Nobody has encountered a zombie or creeper for millennia; the only spiders left are small and harmless, a far cry from the creatures once large enough for a skeleton to ride.

Archeologist study the ruins Players left behind. One city, Hermiton, was originally a camping ground for people to study the various ruins in the area; the crumbling remains of a vast monument, the stump of a tree larger than should ever have been possible, a gaping hole some claim leads to the centre of the Earth.

Near Hermiton lies a vast forest, beside the footprint of what had once been an immense mansion. The forest is a mixture of different species, most likely transplanted thousands of years ago. In that forest lives... something. A ghost? A spirit? a cryptid?

Whatever it is, it's not human. The locals claim she looks like a woman, with glowing eyes and long red hair. They call her the Green Lady, for the colour of her skin. They say her teeth are sharp, and that dark claws tip her fingers. They say her cheeks are hollow, her eyes are sunken- but that her gaze holds a fire no Human could hope to match. They say she lives in the forest, and that she is its guardian. They say that anyone who tries to chop down the trees, to clear the land, will face her wrath.

Outsiders will write this off as a modern-day folk tale, an urban myth. But believe it or not, there is something- someone- who dwells in the woods. Someone who brings those lost home. Someone who intercedes if there's danger. Someone who will run through the forest with a familiarity only born from centuries, millennia, of practice.

They don't know who she is. She's a guardian spirit. She's a ghost. Se's been there since the Ancients walked the land. They're not wrong about that last one. Once, she altered a sign planted by the one responsible for the enormous tree. Once, she had her arm sewn back on by the person who'd built the immense mansion. Once, she threatened the man who dug the vast hole, the one they say leads to the centre of the Earth.

She's a Player, the last one left. She's a zombie, the only one to still walk the Earth. She's alone. Once, she had a family, a home. She dwells near the ruins of that home, even now. Her kind, her kin; they're long gone. She's the only one to remain.

She waits for the day her family will return. It's written in the stars, in the fabric of the Universe. They will return. And she will be there, ready to greet them with open arms. For the Univers is kind. The Universe loves its Players.

Alone in the forest, ZombieCleo, Master of Puppets, the Undead and Undying, the Last Player, waits. She'll be there, when her family, her hermits, return.

Even if it takes another two thousand years.

#At some point this turned from a quick explanation to a full fic #jeez #I did go off #I dunno if I'll write any *actual* fics about this au #I'd like to though #It'd be about the return of the hermits #and there'd be some sort of calamity they'd ave to fight off or something #I don't know #It could also be a fun slice-of-life thing?#the hermits show up and just kinda have to...adjust to the New World #the human-looking ones learn the new language #(because languages change after two thousand years)#and try to assimilate #but it doesn't go very well #and some evil government folk try to capture them for study #but Players are just so hilariously OP it fails miserably #So they just kinda leave them be eventually #so there's like a <20-Player community living in the woods #and most of Hermiton knows about it but don't really talk about it #and these are the *hermits*#so obviously they don't stay there for long #They do their best to make the world a better place #and also build ridiculous megabuilds just because they can #maybe it'll connect to (my interpretation of) the Scattered AU #mostly because seadragonpulse lives rent-free in my brain #if anyone has any questions/ideas/additions etc feel free to contribute #I have a very in-depth world and Literally No Plot #hermitcraft AU #last player AU #Rayvee actually Writes

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regicidal-optimism · 4 years ago

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favorite glowfic content warnings, a list:

bad guys doing bad things

also literal problems with literal trains

am I allowed to say ‘miscellaneous’?

SCIENCE!!

arson murder and being cute

authors know three things about mormonism and are ignoring half of them

christians

bad medical advice

double moebius dubcon reacharound

i wouldn't call it explicit but implicit maybe?

being gaslit by the universe and also by your boyfriend

blood sex and rock and roll

tfw you become a catgirl for practical business reasons

body horror i think you mean transhumanism

bugs that are also eldritch horrors

but it's like. Requited Horny Yearning sexual harrassment

cesare borgia makes decisions

cheese

child vampires and logical consequences thereof

conlanging by monolingual English speakers

consent so complicatedly dubious it might be a philosophical thought experiment

complete disregard for medical ethics

consent which would be dubious if not for glowfic characters

counterfactual nazis

cute guys made of corpses

death (she gets better)

disaster lesbians

discussion of racism by people who don't actually get it

do NOT follow peg's advice on industrial safety

dubcon soul password sharing

dubiously consensual snuggles

excessive amounts of mind control

excellent and good amounts of mind control

gods who should not be left in charge of a turnip much less a religion

gratuitously kinky worldbuilding

great old ones being helpful

high school

how many levels of dubcon are you on? you are like a little baby watch this

huge age gaps where one participant isn't an immortal elf

I am assured this is a horror podcast

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Incest

I guess technically the word here is 'dubcon' but that feels too fluffy

ill-advised but consensual kinky sex

imperial japan

I'm worried it's unethical to depict U.S. intelligence agencies as fundamentally interested in human flourishing without a disclaimer

incorrect christianity

is it possible to have dubcon if everyone involved is explicitly enthusiastically informedly verbally consenting? we'll find out

if you were expecting responsible sexual ethics to be modeled I don't know what to tell you

literally nobody in this thread has encountered a functional concept or example of consent

literally killing time

locking someone in a literal closet until they come out of the metaphorical closet

I'm not clear on whether they physically exist or are just weirdly metaphysical but damn are they unpleasant

medically accurate and specific description of human reproduction

nobody here would pass an honest psych eval

two people who don't understand consent try to figure it out anyway

medieval iceland i guess

non-physicists confidently declaring that physics works a way

nonstandard apocalypse

nobody in LA has any idea how to behave

obstinately consensual torture

offscreen human sacrifice and rape and other unpleasantness

we tried to reimagine the labor-management relationship as a BDSM dynamic but found out a labor market that idealized enthusiastic informed consent was indistinguishable from fully automated luxury gay space communism

omnipotent deity with the approximate worldview of a catholic oxford don born in 1892

period typical psychiatric abuse (lots)

please go to the hospital if you get frostbite

not so much 'dubious consent' as 'pantsing constent and then laughing at it'

politics with extra murder

positive portrayal of mental health professionals

quarter-assed early modern english

rape keeps having realistic consequences and no one is happy about this

being indestructible won't protect you from the most adorable group of grimdark writers on the internet

relationships that make you go hmmm

set in the alternate universe where fancy wine is actually better

sororororororororocide?

(speaking of horror do Not google botflies)

spoilers for the 5th century BC Sophocles play "Electra"

this horror thread keeps randomly turning into a romantic comedy about nerds with poor social skills

unrealistic depictions of sexual harrassment being a galaxy brained seduction technique

vampires being vampires

we are so mean to the fabric of space-time

you may need a chart to keep track of who's fucking and/or murdering whom

existential horror if we get to the good stuff

#it's fic and it glows what's to explain #grace dot text

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raindancer2004 · 4 years ago

Text

Unloved and Unwanted?

Word Count: 3,704 Felix x reader Part Four Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Death, Mentions of blood

This story is being extended to include more of the relationship between Felix and the reader as well as seeing reader as a newborn. Requested by @Savava19 on Wattpad.

Y/N woke up the following morning in her bed and looked around the room and saw Felix sitting on the sofa reading “Good morning little one” He said with a smile “Good morning. Did you stay here all night?” She replied “Yes, I hope you don’t mind but after a lovely evening with you which ended with you falling asleep in my arms, I didn’t wish to leave you alone” He smiled at her “I don’t mind, in fact I’m glad you stayed. I also enjoyed our date last night, although I’m sorry I fell asleep during it.” Felix chuckled and made his way over to her bed “Don’t be. It was nice that you felt safe with me to do so” He wrapped his arms around her and she relaxed into him “Thank you Felix.” “For what?” He asked and pulled back a little “For-for not being the person I-I was told you’d be” She replied low “I’m just glad you gave me a chance to show you who I really am, although I know you are still a little…unsure of me; of my feelings for you” He replied “I’m trying not to be but it’s…” “It’s ok, I understand” He cut her off and pulled her in for another hug “I’m your mate and we have forever so there is no rush. We can take things as slow as you would like” “Do you really mean that?” She asked “Yes, I do little one” He took her warm hand in his cold one and bought it to his lips pressing a kiss to her knuckles; she felt a warm feeling run through her and smiled at him.

The following night Y/N, Jane and Heidi made their way to the family room for movie night; Y/N sat between Felix and Demetri and waited for the film to start. Alec picked a horror film to watch and at a particular gruesome part Y/N hid her face in Felix’s arm “Let me know when I look again” Her words were muffled by his jumper but he heard her and immediately wrapped his arm around her pulling her into his side and smiled when she relaxed into him. Demetri noticed this from the corner of his eye and smiled too, happy that Y/N felt comfortable enough to seek comfort from her mate. Felix kissed her hair before whispering “You can look now little one” He felt her lift her head slightly to look back at the screen but she stayed snuggled into his side for the remainder of movie night.

Afton held a grudge against Felix and Jane for the removal of his arms, despite him provoking Felix the day the guards and Y/N returned from the Carnival. He never forgave Demetri when he ‘accidently’ put his arms back the wrong way round as it meant they had to be re-removed and re-attached by Santiago. He planned to get his revenge on Felix and bided his time until his plan could be executed. He knew his revenge would also affect Demetri so it was one stone, two bird’s situation for him.

Felix, Demetri and the twins left for a mission leaving Y/N alone as Heidi was busy collecting humans for the next ‘tour.’ Afton’s got his opportunity to exact his revenge the day after the four elite guards left the castle. Y/N was outside in the garden reading and didn’t hear him come up behind her until she felt his breath on her ear “Felix won’t want you or love you after this” He whispered and bit down on her neck, she screamed in pain and felt him tighten his hold on her. However, Afton was pulled off her by Santiago before he could fully flood her system with his venom. Santiago noticed she was now starting to bleed out as the bite mark hadn’t been sealed due to him ripping Afton away from her “Take him to the throne room” Santiago said as he shoved Afton towards another guard named Matt.

Santiago lifted Y/N into his arms and held his breath and sped to the throne room kicking open the doors and they hit the stone walls loudly “WHAT’S THE MEANING OF….” Caius’ shouting was cut off the second they entered the room “EVERYONE OUT NOW!” Aro ordered and the guards on duty left the room just as Matt arrived with Afton “Afton did this to her. I pulled him off her but the bite mark hasn’t been sealed” Santiago stated quickly “It-it b-burns” Y/N stuttered out, tears falling down her cheeks. Caius took her from Santiago and laid her on the floor and leant over her “Please forgive me my dear” He placed his mouth over the existing bite mark and sucked out Afton’s venom before sinking his teeth into her neck and letting his venom enter her system, therefore becoming her creator. Aro looked down and saw that Caius’ mark had replaced Afton’s “Brother…” “I couldn’t let her die as she is Felix’s mate and they have been through so much already. This way I am her creator not him” Caius cuts Aro off and points to Afton “Felix is more likely to accept that his mate is now immortal if she has my venom in her just as he has yours Aro” He added “That’s true brother, I think it would have caused more problems for them if it was Afton who changed her” Marcus responds.

Aro takes Afton’s hand in his own and watches the scene play out in the garden “It would seem brothers that Afton planned to change Y/N to get revenge on Felix, knowing it would cause trouble and all because Felix defended his mate a few weeks back after Afton picked a fight with him” Aro said once he let go of his hand “It is against the law to interfere with another’s mate, to try and break their bond and you will be punished” Marcus says calmly as Chelsea enters the throne room, having been told by the recently dismissed guards about Afton being in trouble with the masters. “Sorry for interrupting masters, but can I ask what Afton has done?” “Chelsea my dear, so good to see you. Although I do have some bad news for you…Afton is to be ‘dealt with’ as he attempted to change Y/N to get back at Felix and well he made a mess of it and Caius has had to change her himself in order to save her” Aro informed her, Chelsea was shocked and covered her mouth with her hands; after a few moments she finally spoke “I-I understand m-master. Do what-what you must with him” She stuttered out “You know what is going to happen to him my dear” Aro responds and she nods as venom fills her eyes that cannot be shed “Good-goodbye Afton” She whispers and follows Caius out of the throne room as he makes his way to Y/N’s room. “Any last words Afton?” Aro asks “I regret nothing and we all know Felix will struggle to accept her now” Aro nods at Santiago and he removes Afton’s head before Matt lets him fall to the floor and the two vampires remove Afton’s arms and legs “Burn him” Aro says as he leaves the room.

Chelsea opens the door to Y/N’s room and Caius enters carrying her over to the bed “Please let me clean her up before Felix returns” She says and Caius nods as he passes Y/N to Chelsea. Chelsea cleans up the bite mark and the blood surrounding the area “Master, please can you pass in the short sleeve black dress from her closet?” Caius passes her the dress and a few moments later Chelsea exits the bathroom with Y/N in her arms and lays her down gently on her bed.

Chelsea and Caius stay with Y/N during her change “Master, what are we going to tell Felix?” Chelsea asked low “We tell him the truth that Afton made a mess of trying to change her out of revenge and that I stepped in and replaced his venom with my own in order to save her. It’s my bite mark on her neck now not Afton’s” Caius responds and Chelsea nods “Thank you for letting me stay here with her" “You’re welcome my dear, I figured it would help you, all things considered” He replied and she nodded “I hope Felix doesn’t hold Afton’s actions against me” She said low “He won’t, especially as you and I are going to take care of her until he returns” Caius replied.

Y/N woke up three days later; sitting up and taking in the sights around her; noticing the loose thread on rug by the fireplace, feeling the cotton thread of the duvet beneath her when her eyes met Caius’ “Hello my dear” “Ca-Caius” She replies low “Wh-what happened?” “You were bitten by Afton in the garden and Santiago intervened and bought you to us and I had to change you in order to save you” He replied “I-I remember he said that Felix wouldn’t want me or love me knowing I had his venom running through me” She replied “Well you don’t need to worry about that my dear, as it’s my venom running through you” “Felix will have an issue with the fact that it’s not his venom” She answered sounding a little sad “Nothing will change between you hunny, I promise. He will just be glad that master Caius saved you” Chelsea answered softly “Oh and just so you are aware Afton was disposed of after this incident as he broke one our laws” She added “I-I’m sorry Chelsea” Y/N replies “Don’t be Y/N, you did nothing wrong. Afton knew what the consequences were should he be found out and went ahead anyway” Chelsea replies.

“As you are my creation Y/N, you spend your newborn year with us at the castle and we all help you adjust to your new life. First things first feedings; we do not allow hunting in the city and so once Felix and Demetri return, I will have them take you hunting outside of the city and show you what to do. In the meantime, Heidi saved you two humans from our ‘tour’ this morning, they are waiting in a guest room on the floor below. Shall we?” Caius informs Y/N “I-I don’t know what to-to do” She says slowly “You are a lot faster and stronger than the humans in the room so it’ll be easy to overpower them. You need hold them firmly against you, this can be via the front of their neck or around their middle, then you tilt their head to the side and bite down and let the blood flow down your throat to ease the burn. We will be right there with you” Chelsea replies. Once inside the guest room Y/N grabbed the first human and did as Chelsea told her although she struggled and it was not the most efficient kill nor was it the cleanest but Caius and Chelsea did not judge her. Y/N drained the second human but later she felt upset at having killed two innocent humans. “You did well today Y/N and it will get easier, I promise” Caius said low.

Heidi got some blood bags from her doctor friend at the hospital and kept them in her room for Y/N in case they needed them. Chelsea and Heidi made sure to keep Y/N away from the reception area, not wanting to risk an incident in the castle. Heidi did however get Caius’ permission to bring in another human for Y/N as a way of helping her deal with the blood lust she was feeling.

Chelsea and Caius had spent a lot of time with Y/N as she was struggling with feeding. Heidi would ensure their share of the tour was bought to a side room so the three could feed privately as Caius didn’t think Y/N was ready to feed with the others. Y/N had been a newborn for about ten days when Felix, Demetri and the twins returned from their mission; reporting to the throne room to update the Kings on the outcome of their mission. All four guard noticed Caius’ throne was empty “Caius is with Chelsea and Y/N…” Aro paused when he saw confusion and worry flash across Felix’s face “There was an incident about two weeks ago involving Y/N and Afton…Caius had to change Y/N in order to save her” Aro advised them and a loud growl escaped Felix “I’LL KILL HIM” He roared and turned to leave; Demetri grabbed his arm as Marcus spoke “He has already been disposed of…he is nothing but ashes my dear boy” Felix turned around to look at Aro and Marcus “Chelsea is with Y/N?” Demetri asked “Yes, she and Caius haven’t left her side since the incident, Heidi has checked in with her regularly when not planning ‘tours,’ she even got a supply of blood bags for Y/N. Chelsea feels bad for what happened to Y/N and asked to stay and help her” Aro replied “I think being around Y/N has helped Chelsea deal with the loss of Afton, given her…a purpose” Marcus added “Please do not harm Chelsea Felix, she had no part in Afton’s plan” Aro warned “How-how did Afton get close enough to attack Y/N?” Felix asked and Aro explained the events of that fateful day including how Santiago saved her from Afton. “Go see Y/N but remember don’t spook her as she’s probably stronger than you right now” Marcus said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Felix and Demetri made their way to Y/N’s room, the twins deciding to wait to the morning as to not overwhelm her. Felix knocked on the door “Only us” He said as he and Demetri entered her room slowly “Felix, Demetri” Caius greeted them “Master” They both replied and bowed their heads “How is she?” Felix asked quietly, looking out to the balcony where Y/N stood with Chelsea “A little jumpy now and then. She struggles a little with her thirst but is relatively calm for a newborn” Caius answered quietly, he looked over his shoulder before continuing “She’s worried that this will affect your relationship” Felix said nothing but nodded “Just remember Felix it’s my venom in her system no one’s else’s and it’s my bite mark that you will see…just as she sees Aro’s mark where he changed you” Caius placed a hand on his arm “Thank you master for saving her and staying with her in my absence” “She is your mate and you two have been through enough in the short time you’ve been together. She’s my creation and it was my duty to show her how to survive in this life. Although I think you two should help her too” Caius replied “Of course master. I’m assuming then she will be with us during her newborn year?” Demetri asked, hope showing in his eyes “Yes, as my creation she is allowed to remain here with us” Caius replied smiling at Demetri and Felix “I’m going to say goodnight and leave you to catch up. Goodnight Y/N” “Goodnight Caius and thank you again” Y/N said as she entered the room “I’ll be leaving too, if you need me Demetri knows where to find me” Chelsea said as she too left the room.

“Looking good Y/N” Demetri smiled and gave her a wink; a low growl came from Felix “Shut up” Demetri said as he slapped his arm “You look so beautiful little one” Felix said with a look of adoration on his face “May I?” He held his arms out to her and she nodded, slowly stepping closer to her mate; once she was near enough Felix carefully pulled her into his arms and held her “I missed you Felix” She buried her face into his chest “I missed you too” He replied resting his head on top of hers “I missed you too cara” Demetri added and Y/N laughed “Missed you too Dem.”

Felix loved Y/N with every fibre of his being and would do anything for her, including defending her to a few of the transitory guards who talked about her behind her back, judging her and commenting on the fact she was not able to take part in the ‘tours’ “Y/N is struggling to adjust and after the shocking way she was thrust into this life by Afton, I can’t blame her. She’ll come through it” Felix said at the start of a training session “One more thing you may want to remember that as my mate she outranks you all!” Felix growled “Drop and give me 200…NOW!” Demetri demanded and the vampires groaned “You can all thank the few guards that thought they could talk about Y/N in such a way a disrespectful way.”

Felix was given a few days off to spend with Y/N but that didn’t work out the way it as supposed to. After coming back from a private feeding with Chelsea Y/N saw how clean Felix and Demetri were after the ‘tour’ compared to her; she was still a little messy, it confirmed her thoughts she wasn’t good enough or clean enough with her kills to stand beside her mate and her friends. She decided to spend more time with Chelsea and continue to feed privately with her as she felt comfortable around her and didn’t feel like she was being judged by the female vampire. Y/N also still had the need for blood bags to help with her thirst.

“Y/N? You in here?” Felix called out as he entered his mate’s room only to find it empty…again “She isn’t in there” Demetri’s voice called out softly “I know that” Felix growled “Woah! Calm down Fe” Demetri held his hands up in surrender “Sorry D. I can’t find her and all I want is to spend time with my mate, improve our relationship and our bond” He replied, sounding a little downhearted. Demetri was quiet for a moment before replying “Y/N is with Chelsea…in her room” “What is it with Y/N and Chelsea?” Felix asked, Demetri shrugged “I don’t know, maybe Chelsea feels guilty over Afton’s actions and feels bad for Y/N. Talk to her” Felix nods and goes back to his room.

A few days later Felix catches Y/N in Heidi’s room with a blood bag and they’re hanging out “Hey Y/N there you are. I’ve been looking for you” “You found me” She replies “I have some time off and wondered if you wanted to do something together?” He asked, hoping she’d agree “Oh, sorry I can’t…I have a lesson with Caius…which I’ll be late for if I don’t go now. Bye Heidi, it was nice catching up. Bye Fe” Y/N left the room quickly “Bye Y/N” Heidi called after her, Felix said nothing, turning around and making his way to Demetri’s room. Once inside he laid down on his friend’s bed, surprising Demetri moments later when he stepped out of the bathroom half naked after his shower “Why Felix, I didn’t know you cared” Demetri winked at him “Get bent” Demetri chuckled as he entered his closet and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt “What do I owe the pleasure, my friend” Demetri asked sitting at the foot of the bed “Y/N’s avoiding me” “Ahh…are you sure she’s avoiding you?” He asked gently “Yes. She’ll spend time with anyone and everyone…as long as it’s not me” Felix replied. Demetri was sure it was all in his friend’s head until he witnessed Y/N avoiding Felix for himself the following afternoon.

Gianna had taken the afternoon off and Aro asked Y/N to cover reception, thinking doing something ‘human’ may be good for her and keep her focused on something other than her struggles. The afternoon was going well until a delivery man arrived with a parcel for Aro. Y/N inhaled just as the human rounded the corner; the burn in her throat roaring to life, his heartbeat sounding loud in the quiet reception area ‘He smells so good’ She thought to herself ‘Just a little taste’ A smile curved her lips ‘No. Don’t. I can’t. Caius…Felix…’ “Hello, I have a parcel that requires a signature” The human voice cut through Y/N’s thoughts “Ok” She tried holding her breath as she signed his clipboard, she noticed the pulsing vein in his neck, his heartbeat a little fast as though he was a little fearful. It was as though he was tormenting her with his scent. He thanked her and turned back to walk towards the lift and before she could stop herself, she had flashed up behind him as he stepped inside the lift. Y/N’s hand gripped his neck; holding his back to her chest as she sunk her teeth into his neck, his blood flowing into her mouth easing the burn at the back of her throat “Mmm” She enjoyed draining this human. She was trying to work out how to hide the evidence of her kill when she noticed her top had blood on it, his blood “Oh well. No need to hide him now…” She trailed off, talking to herself.

The lift doors opened when the lift reached ground level, Y/N stepped out of the lift leaving the human to lie dead on lift floor. She walked to the stairs and made her way back to reception to turn off the computer and to gather her things “Y/N” Felix called out from behind her when she was halfway back to her room “Can’t stop, got things to do” She called out over his shoulder “What things? Maybe I can help” Felix called “Just things, I don’t need help” She called out and took off running “Still think she isn’t avoiding me D?” Demetri rubbed the back of his neck “It would appear she is avoiding you” He replied “I wish I knew why D” Felix responded and turned on his heels making his way to the training room. Demetri decided to try his luck with Y/N; to see if she would talk to him as she used to do when she was human.

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