#time for crows to be annoying

[crossdressingdeath]

"average Thedosian political leader is assassinated at least once" factoid actualy just statistical error. average Thedosian political leader is assassinated zero times. King Markus, who lives and dies and lives and dies and lives in Nevarra and has been assassinated 20 times, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[jude-jespernumber1glazer]

Inej being an acrobat has such a comedic potential bcs just imagine her saying "hey watch this" and proceeding to do a backflip, then she just goes on her day

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

My sister has been borrowing a lot of my books recently so I (incredibly unsubtly) left Six of Crows in her room. Now we wait...

[wildsaltair]

Actual footage Maximus Decimus Meridius looking earnestly into my soul (not clickbait!)

[feralipadkid]

what if kaz got a low taper fade

[ominous-faechild]

✦ Character Voice Tag ✦

Following tag from @honeybewrites!

Characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, and Daleira Characters from the Arcane Rifts: Gene, Tazin, and Mislav

Lines to be used: - "Move over! I wanna watch too." @honeybewrites - "A little help, please?" @the-golden-comet - "Unhand me!" @the-letterbox-archives - "Okay, someone has to come up with a plan" @fractured-shield

"Move over! I wanna watch too."

Freya: "Move! Ugh--please, sorry!" *has already shoved her way past* Crow: *teleported through shadows to get to a better vantage point* Crow: "Excusez-moi!" *at the same time as slapping them aside with their wing* (note: they are not French.) Daleira: "Excuse me, please. I want to watch this too." Gene: "Uhm... ex-excuse me... please..." Tazin: "OUT OF THE WAY!" *meanwhile shoving people way more violently than necessary* Mislav: *way too quietly* "excuse me? I... excuse--vynost, I SAID MOVE!!!" *will shove if they haven't jumped out of the way of the screaming 9-year-old*

"A little help, please?"

Freya: "A little help over here!? Sooner rather than later???" Crow: "Ey! Over here! HELP!" Daleira: "Hey, could I get some help please?" Gene: *is not physically capable of asking for help* Gene: "Uhm... could-could I... please get some help?" Tazin: "Get your ass over here and HELP ME!" (note: read in a nasally, obnoxious 9-year-old's voice) Mislav: "hey, um... could I get some help? Please?"

"Unhand me!"

Freya: "what the--let go of me!" *will tear away from who/whatever grabbed her if she's able* Crow: *combat mode: engaged. Duck into their own shadows and teleport to get a moment to process the scene before reacting further.* Crow: *calmly, making eye contact* "you have less than five seconds to let go of me. Five. Four--" Daleira: *making eye contact, but trying to figure out if the grabbing was malicious or well-intentioned* "what's wrong." (hint: you do NOT want to be on her bad side.) Gene: *at the top of his lungs, voice cracking from under-use, and simultaneously yanking away with more strength than a 7-year-old should have* "LET GO OF ME!!!" (*panik attack*) Tazin: *insert unintelligible demonic screeching here. And imagine the grabber being set on fire. Because both will be the case.* Mislav: "LET GO OF ME!" *will yank away with, yet again, more strength than a human child should have. In fact, even more than a human adult if the grabber is intimidating. Will headbutt and leave a GNARLY bruise if necessary.*

"Okay, someone has to come up with a plan!"

Freya: "Guys??? What are we doing??? Don't tell me I have to figure something out!" Crow: *deadpan* "Don't make me break out Plan B. Trust me, you do NOT want Plan B." Daleira: *taking a deep breath and tying her hair back with a hairtie that JUST magically appeared* "alright, here's what we're going to do." Tazin: "GENE, COME UP WITH SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!!!" Gene: (regardless of whether or not ^^^ just happened) "I... I think I have an idea..." Mislav: "ohvynostpleaseno--does anyone have a plan??? Anyone??? Anything??? Ohvynostno--PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO USE IT!!!"

Your line: "Well, you see, Perry the Platypus, it all started on the day I (...) AND THAT'S WHY I PLAN TO CONQUER THE TRI-STATE AREA!" (in other words, if you don't want to Doofenshmirtz it, "This is why I'm about to do this No Good, Very Bad Thing. That is also why you are not going to stop me or change my mind." I thought it'd be fun with Doofenshmirtz's way, but either should work!)

Tagging (with no pressure) @darkandstormydolls @yourpenpaldee @.honeybewrites @.the-letterbox-archives (avoiding double-tags) and whoever else wants to join!

Divider from @cafekitsune

[randomfusilier]

[mortysmith]

Fuck you season five episode nine genuinely some of the worst shit they clobbered together

[clumsypuppy]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

[sarastellasari]

Help my friend said she didn’t like six of crows because the first 5 chapters didn’t have enough action??? Girl it’s the first five chapters there’s not gonna be that much action… also the first chapters DO have a lot of action?

she also hated every character and said they were all annoying?

[kskfkakkldnsna]

GuYSs! Im finally getting medicated!

round of applause if you pleeease

[kanerallels]

For @laughingphoenixleader, who requested Kanej in a superhero/villain au

(tw for vague mentions of drug deals and human trafficking, though there's nothing explicit)

The streets of Chicago were clogged with criminals. One couldn’t take a step without seeing a carjacking, a drug sale, a mugging. It was the perfect place for a criminal enterprise to begin and flourish.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone, then, when someone other than the corrupt law enforcement rose up to stop them.

The Wraith. No one had seen her face, but everyone knew the name. A figure in dark clothing, using knives and carrying out judgment against the traffickers and the dealers before disappearing into the shadows again. Those who used humans as a commodity seemed to be the biggest targets.

Which was lucky for the city’s latest big player.

“Kaz Brekker,” Inej murmured, studying the blurry image on the computer screen. He looked young, though how old she couldn’t tell with the quality of the photo. All that was really obvious was dark clothing and hair, a pale face, and the cane in his gloved hand. Both of which look…familiar.

“Why is he on our radar?” she asked Nina, who was slouched in the wheeled chair in front of the computer.

The young woman shrugged. “Possibly because he’s the main suspect in seventeen different robberies, but no one’s been able to prove it. Or because his right hand man shoots like no human being should be able to. There’s also the fact that he sprouted up out of nowhere overnight. Looks like he took control of Per Haskell’s gang, but he was there all along. We just didn’t see him until now.”

Inej frowned. “Why?”

Getting up from her chair, Nina headed towards the kitchenette in the corner of the basement room Inej used as her headquarters. “Probably because he didn’t want to be seen. And you’ve had other, bigger problems on your mind. Toaster waffle?”

Absently, Inej waved her off, mind spinning. Kaz Brekker. If his plan was to set himself up as the crime lord of the city, that could be a problem. Especially if he was as good as Nina said he was. “I might have to pay him a visit,” she muttered, more to herself than anyone else.

Nina answered anyway as she popped two waffles into the toaster. “Just do me a favor and don’t get stabbed. I have class tonight, and stitching you up doesn’t actually count as homework.”

Despite her cavalier words, Inej could hear the concern hiding behind them, and she smiled. “I’ll be careful, Nina. I promise.”

The other woman didn’t look overly comforted, but nodded all the same.

Later that night, after Nina had cajoled her into eating and resting, then swept off to her night class at Ravka University, Inej slipped out of her civilian clothes and into her suit. It wasn’t quite Superman quality, but the clothing was comfortable and good for sneaking and climbing. She checked to make sure her knives and gear were all secure, and set off into the night.

Brekker seemed to have set up shop at the Crow Club downtown. Inej knew of the place, but Per Haskell—the former owner—had never caused enough trouble for her to have risked the trip, not yet. She’d had bigger prey to track.

Slipping in was a simple matter. One of the windows was unlocked, and Inej eased through into what looked like an office. A desk lined with papers and books stood in the middle, with a cot pushed up against one wall. Does Brekker live here?

A key clicked in the lock, and Inej ghosted into a dark corner, keeping her steps quiet and smooth. A second later, the door swung open, and Kaz Brekker stepped inside, limp obvious, cane swinging.

She caught the barest glimpse of pale skin and high cheekbones before his back was to her, standing at the desk. His movements precise, he flipped through a file, gloved fingers tapping against the outside.

The tapping paused, and his head lifted a little. Then he spoke, his voice rasping and rough.

“The Wraith, I presume.”

How did he know I was here? Inej brushed aside the surprise. There was no use in pretending now. She moved out of the shadows, and Brekker turned to face her.

Inej’s heart skipped a beat. Not for any silly, romantic reasons—though the young man facing her was handsome enough, in a severe way. He was all sharp angles and dark shades, his dark brown eyes taking her in like she was a problem to be solved.

No, the reason her heart skipped a beat was because she knew him.

She hadn’t known his name at the time. But they’d met once, years ago. Before Inej became the Wraith, before she’d escaped the life that had driven her to take this path.

The police had found her. An undercover cop, Detective Nazyalensky, had made contact, and promised her that if she informed on Heleen and her entire organization, she would go free. Inej had been going to meet her the day of the bust when Heleen had summoned her into her office.

She’d known. Inej was sure of it, and if she went into that office, she would be beaten, or sold, or worse. Fear had threatened to choke her, and she’d wavered. Should she run? But she wouldn’t have made it, not if Heleen wasn’t distracted.

And then he’d walked in. He couldn’t have been more than sixteen, but carried himself like a full grown man. But he didn’t look at the girls as he came in, and that struck Inej as curious. The other customers ogled freely.

Maybe he wasn’t a customer. Perhaps he was one of the information dealers who came to Heleen for what the girl’s customers knew. In which case…

She moved toward him quietly, her feet brushing the floor. He was standing at the door of Heleen’s office, facing away from her when she said, “I can help you.”

He’d been startled when he turned to face her, though it faded quickly. He’d lifted an eyebrow, looking a little curious when Heleen’s voice had rung out from the office.

“Enough hiding, little lynx! I said I wanted to see you, and I want to do it now.”

Inej had flinched, unable to prevent the visions flooding her mind. The boy facing her frowned, just a little. Then, he’d spoken. Not to her, but to Heleen.

“You have an appointment to keep with me, Heleen. Haskell won’t wait forever.”

Grumbling, Heleen had appeared at the office door and waved for the boy to follow her in. Before he moved away, the boy had looked at her. “Don’t let them see your tell,” he’d said, voice too quiet to Heleen to make out. “And don’t look back.”

He’d entered the office, and Inej knew. It was time to run.

And so she did. She made it, and Heleen was locked up 24 hours later. Inej was free, and it was thanks to the actions of a stranger.

He had, whether he knew it or not, been the reason she’d gotten away, the reason she’d been able to tell the police everything.

His eyes narrowed a little as he looked at her, and for a second Inej thought, He knows. But then—no. He couldn’t. Her face was covered, and it had been close to four years since her escape.

“And you’re Kaz Brekker,” she said, keeping her voice cool. Business like. “The newest boss on the block.”

“Here to stop me?” Brekker asked, an eyebrow going up. “Bring me to justice like the Black Heretic? The Lantsov family?”

“The police took the Lantsov family,” Inej said, and Brekker snorted.

“The police in this town couldn’t solve their way out of a cardboard box. You handed them the arrest.”

He’s smart. “How do you know that?”

“I make it my business to know.” Folding his hands over his cane, he said, “So, what have I done to merit your attention? I thought I’d kept a fairly low profile.”

“You haven’t done anything. Yet,” Inej said, letting her hand rest on the knives at her waist. Brekker’s gaze followed the movement for only a heartbeat before locking back onto her masked face.

“Ah. Threatening me into submission. Interesting method. Unfortunately for you, I have plans that can’t be put on hold. And you don’t kill anyone unless what they’ve done meets your criteria.”

Inej wouldn’t show her surprise. “You’ve done your research.”

“It’s good to know who I’m dealing with. And to know how you intend to be rid of me.” Continuing, he said, “If you were going to kill me, I’d be dead. Everyone you don’t kill gets handed over to the police, and there’s nothing on me for the police.” The thinnest sliver of a smile appeared. “So, Wraith, your threats are to no avail.”

Oh, he could be dangerous. “Then consider this an appeal to your better nature,” Inej told him.

He laughed, sharp and bitter. “I don’t have one.”

“You have common sense. Don’t give me a reason to come after you, and I won’t.” Inej met his gaze, hoping he would see the intent in her eyes.

He was still for a moment, then inclined his head. “Then perhaps I will see you again, Wraith. Or perhaps not. We’ll see what your code dictates.”

Without another word, he turned back to his desk. Inej hesitated for a fraction of a second, then slipped out the window. Activating the ascension cable she wore strapped to her wrist, she fired it and swung out across the city. She needed to find somewhere to think before her nightly patrols began.

She had a feeling then that she would meet Kaz Brekker again. And she truly didn’t know if she hoped for it or dreaded it.

[athenasdragon]

Aside from the banter I enjoyed having Lucanis and Davrin for the Weisshaupt mission because two grey wardens plus an assassin who has been trained to stealthily take out individual powerful targets is the funniest possible combination of people for a large scale siege. Get Harding in there for the love of god.

[wildsaltair]

an entire three-hour movie??? starring Maximus Decimus Meridius as an honorable, strong, gentle, determined, loyal man of integrity who goes from a general to a slave to a gladiator to a hero?? SIGN ME UP IN PERMANENT MARKER

[crows-of-buckets]

I love how everytime I'm like "I'm going to get so much work done today!" My focus and attention span decides it's going to go fuck off to God knows where

[earl-grey-crow]

did she. did del just throw her phone into the fridge.