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anneapocalypse · 5 months ago

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Urianger’s Faith

I think Urianger’s faith is a core part of his character. In fact, I think that most other things about him—his history of secrecy and deception, his lifelong fascination with prophecy, and his growth over a multi-expansion character arc—are better understood in the context of it. So that’s what I want to talk about today!

This essay contains major plot spoilers through Endwalker. It's also really long.

Urianger’s Religion

We should probably talk about what, exactly, Urianger's faith is—or, to start, what his religion is. Like the majority of Eorzeans, and so far as we know, all of the core Scions, Urianger is a Twelve-worshipper. Rites and customs vary widely between the different regions of Eorzea depending upon their patron deity and the local culture, but while the worship of Rhalgr may look very different from the worship of Halone, they all fall under the same pantheon, and their devotees ascribe to a shared mythos regarding these gods and their relations with one another. In brief, there are believed to be Twelve deities, with various familial relationships to one another, who rule over and guide various aspects of the world and life within it. There exist seven hells and seven heavens, created and presided over by the gods, to which mortals will be sent in death according to their deeds in life.

Born in the Sharlayan colony (according to anecdotes about Urianger and Moenbryda in Encyclopedia Eorzea), and presumably raised there until the exodus when he would have returned to the motherland, Urianger’s patron deity is Thaliak, and accordingly when he invokes a singular deity it tends to be the Scholar, as in this rather sarcastic-sounding greeting to Alphinaud in the Heavensward patches:

Why, Master Alphinaud. Would that the Scholar had seen fit to grant me knowledge of thy coming. What bringeth thee and thine here this day?

As in the real world, it’s not uncommon for characters to invoke the names of their gods in casual, humorous, and downright irreverent ways, such as the well-known exclamation of “Thal’s balls!” among Ul’dahns. Similarly, just as an utterance of “Jesus Christ!” does not necessary indicate a profound Christian faith in the real world, characters exclaiming “By the Twelve!” or “Gods be good!” does not alone indicate that they are especially devout.

I think it’s probably safe to say that the followers of Louisoix who comprised the Circle of Knowing are, at the very least, more than nominal adherents of Twelve-worship. As seen in the “End of an Era” video, it is in part their prayers that summoned primal versions of the Twelve in an attempt to contain Bahamut.

I think it is possible, however, to single out Urianger as especially religious even relative to his comrades. There are numerous instances in his dialogue that I think demonstrate a singular faith. He regularly interprets good fortune in terms of the favor of the gods to a greater extent that his colleagues. As late as Shadowbringers, for example, when Y’shtola is rescued from the aetherial sea for the second time, he says:

In all of history, there are but few who have returned from a misadventure in the aetherial sea possessed of mind and body both. To have done so twice beggereth belief. 'Tis plain Y'shtola wanteth not for favor among the Twelve.

However, I think it would also be inaccurate and incomplete to say that Urianger’s faith is wholly centered around the Twelve.

Hydaelyn as Mother-Goddess

If you’re going purely by 2.0 onward, I think it’s easy to miss that a broad awareness of Hydaelyn as a personage (as opposed to simply the name of the star) is a fairly new development in Eorzea. Sharlayan, at the forefront of aetherological studies, has been well ahead of the curve on this, with scholars theorizing not only a concentration of aether at the core of the star which they have termed "the Mothercrystal," but possibly even a consciousness, a "will of the star," sometimes also called "the will of Light." This theory was confirmed when the scholars of Sharlayan succeeded in contacting Hydaelyn through the Antitower in the Dravanian colony, granting them knowledge of the Final Days, and directly leading to the exodus from the colony and subsequent preparations for a potential exodus from the star itself. This knowledge was intentionally kept extremely secret, however, even from most Sharlayan citizens, nevermind the rest of Eorzea.

Any conception of Hydaelyn as a deity is a novel concept, and not a part of traditional Twelve worship. We don't generally hear common people invoke Hydaelyn as they would a deity; it's usually one or all of the Twelve. As recently as five years ago, in 1.0, the true nature of the Echo was still widely unknown; Minfilia’s Echo support group was called The Path of the Twelve because the phenomenon was, understandably, believed to be a gift from the gods. The various powers granted by the Echo had been previously documented, but it is only in recent years that they have been hypothesized (Encyclopedia Eorzea specifically uses the word "hypothesized" rather than "believed") to be a gift from Hydaelyn. "Blessing of Light," likewise, is a broad term referring to a variety of phenomena in which Hydaelyn seems to directly communicate with Echo bearers or intervene on their behalf. EE1 tells us that "despite their frequency, little is known about them. However, it is assumed that many of the 'miracles' which appear in myth and legend are actually instances of Hydaelyn bestowing Her blessing upon an individual." Again, this appears to be a recent theory recontextualizing a set of long-documented but poorly-understood phenomena. Any understanding of the struggle between Hydaelyn and Zodiark is also noted here as a recent discovery by the Scions of the Seventh Dawn.

(As a sidenote, I don't think it's necessary for our purposes here to get too hung up on where the Echo ends and the blessing of Light begins, as at the end of the day both are umbrella terms for a broad set of distinct but overlapping phenomena that come from Hydaelyn.)

It's probably also important to note that this evolving understanding of Hydaelyn is one both spiritual and scientific. By the time we meet them in ARR, it does seem clear that the Scions have already developed a view of Hydaelyn as a mother-goddess figure, but they're also devoted to deepening their understanding of the world through observation and study. They're working closely with the Students of Baldesion from the beginning of ARR (and a couple of Students can be found hanging out in the Waking Sands in the early game). They are willing to modify their beliefs based on new evidence, and indeed, over the course of the next few expansions, a whole lot of new evidence is going to surface. The political leaders who stood with Louisoix at Carteneau—Admiral Merlwyb, General Raubahn, Elder Seedseer Kan-E-Senna—are also familiar with these novel theories. When the Warrior of Light has their first direct contact with Hydaelyn in the introduction to ARR, thereby receiving a Blessing of Light, it is both their Scion representative and the leader of their starting city who explain to them the meaning of their vision and the crystal of Light they now bear.

And novel though it may be, it is clear that the arrival of the Warrior of Light only strengthens the Scions' belief in Hydaelyn. I think this adds important context to the Scions' reception of the player character and the way they look upon that character as such a beacon of hope. It's not just that the WoL is possessed of great strength and skill, or even that they have the Echo; it's that their experiences are actively confirming the Scions' developing theories about Hydaelyn.

Yet for all their approach to understanding Hydaelyn is of a scientific bent, their relationship to Hydaelyn on a personal level still has a distinctly religious flavor—particularly for Minfilia and Urianger. I'll be bringing up Minfilia a few times here, both because her story is deeply intertwined with Urianger's and because I think in some ways they have a lot in common.

Minfilia herself is an Echo-bearer, though it seems like prior to the end of the ARR patches, she has not experienced the blessing of Light in the way the Warrior of Light has. Nonetheless, as she escapes with the Warrior of Light through the watercourse, it is to her that Hydaelyn speaks—and Minfilia heeds Her call, urging the Warrior of Light onward without her, while she runs back to be caught up in Y'shtola's Flow spell and carried into the aetherial sea.

This much, it seems, was Hydaelyn's doing. But something that I think is often missed about Minfilia is that she does not become the Word of the Mother against her will. Hydaelyn does not pull her into the aetherial sea and simply consume her; with Her power so diminished, she probably couldn’t have done that even had she wanted to. Hydaelyn merely guides Minfilia back toward Y'shtola to be caught in the Flow spell. Whatever Hydaelyn’s intentions (which we can’t know for certain), it’s entirely possible that had Minfilia not made a choice, the Seedseers might have pulled her from the aetherial sea alongside Y'shtola, or she might have eventually materialized malms away in the wilderness like Thancred.

In Minfilia's own words:

There, adrift and alone, Her voice silent once more, I prayed... For those we have lost. For those we can yet save. To Her I would make an offering...

Minfilia gives herself to Hydaelyn. She understands—all the Scions understand—that Hydaelyn is profoundly weakened after protecting the Warrior of Light against the Ultima Weapon. She understands that the only way Hydaelyn might intervene in the present crisis is if She can regain some of her strength, and for that, She would need an offering of aether… and Minfilia, having faith that Hydaelyn will intervene, offers herself.

Though it comes at great cost to her and to the people who love her, Minfilia's faith is rewarded. The Warrior of Light survives. Little by little, Hydaelyn does regain strength, and is finally able to speak to the Warrior of Light again and begin to restore what Midgardsormr stripped from them. The Scions rebuild themselves and continue their work. Through Minfilia, Hydaelyn is able to communicate truths lost to time, to help the Scions better understand the struggles they face. And ultimately, Minfilia goes on to save another reflection and its people from total destruction.

What Minfilia understands, Urianger also understands.

The first time Urianger really caught my attention was in the Warriors of Darkness storyline in the Heavensward patches. I love that whole storyline and what it established about his character, and I love how much it set up threads that will be further explored and paid off later. Shadowbringers was a true delight for me, not just because Urianger is so central to it, or because I love the story in its own right (though those are both true things) but also because it is the resolution of this storyline.

The way Urianger calls upon Hydaelyn after the invocation of the crystals has always stuck in mind:

Mother Hydaelyn, hearken unto Your children's plea! From two worlds do we gather, and from two worlds do we offer a bounty of Light. In this desperate hour, we do beseech Your intercession! We beg an audience with the Word of the Mother─with Your chosen, Minfilia!

Urianger possesses a flair for the dramatic generally, of course. And at the same time, this has always struck me as such an earnest prayer. Even in Her weakened state, he has faith that if they can only invoke the combined power of the crystals of Light—an offering of aether!—She will be both willing and able to work with them to save another shard, which is Her aim as well.

And he’s right. Though it comes at great cost, Urianger’s faith in Hydaelyn is rewarded here.

The Invocation of Saints

While Thaliak may be Urianger's patron deity in the strictest sense, I think his faith rests much more strongly in a figure closer to home: his late master, Louisoix Leveilleur.

All of the core Scions have great respect for Louisoix, even what might be called reverence. I don't think it's a reach to say that the Archons of his Circle of Knowing view him, not only as an expert in prophecy, but as a kind of prophet himself. In an Echo flashback to a time before the Calamity in the introductory questline, you might see Y'shtola saying, "It is as Louisoix foretold…" or Papalymo saying, "…just as Louisoix forewarned," depending on your starting city. Thancred, notably, seems to take a more practical view, saying, "Louisoix will know what to do. We need only trust in his judgment," focusing more on his master's wisdom in the present than foreknowledge of the future. Nevertheless, it is clear that all of them put a profound faith in their mentor. Later in ARR, we see Thancred berate himself for arriving too late to prevent Ifrit from tempering nearby soldiers, saying, "Lousioix would never have allowed this to happen."

For Urianger and Minfilia, this reverence takes on a particular flavor.

Urianger's very first words to the Warrior of Light in 2.0 are: "Dawn may banish even the darkest night…" This is the beginning of a well-known writing of Louisoix, which we later hear in full from the Wandering Minstrel, who has arranged them into verse (though he notes that they were not originally written as poetry):

Dawn may banish even the darkest night, Yet ever shall primal desires burn. Two swords shall vie to lay them low─ A blade born of light and a blade forged of might. Alas, man may entrust his fate unto but one.

I think it's very likely Urianger meant to recite the whole thing, finding it a prescient introduction both to the Scions’ work and what role the Warrior of Light might play in it. However, Minfilia gives him a Look which I think suggests he is losing his audience, and Urianger seemingly course-corrects, saying, "The words of a dear friend. I am glad of our meeting." Nonetheless, it seems clear to me that he holds the words of Louisoix in the same regard he would any canonical prophet, and looks to them for guidance in the man's absence.

In the middle of A Realm Reborn, while the Waking Sands are still bustling with Scions going about their work and new recruits waiting for their first mission, Urianger may be found conversing in a very animated (if perhaps one-sided) fashion with a group of adventurers. If spoken to, he has the following to say:

Knowest thou the import of the broken staff within the solar? It fell from the grasp of Archon Louisoix, the man who, in his abiding love for all Eorzeans, shielded us against the storm of the Calamity.

The way he describes his late master feels almost like a christ figure. Have you heard about our lord and savior Louisoix, who so loved the world that he died to save us?

Both Minfilia and Urianger pray directly to Louisoix at certain points in the story. Furthermore, they both make reference to Louisoix watching over them and even guiding their path forward. Y'shtola, too, seems to hold this view. After the attack on the Waking Sands, she says, "It is as if the benevolent hand of Master Louisoix guides us still. He would not see us undone so easily. Not now, when the need is so great." In an Echo flashback, just before the attack on the Wakings Sands, we see Minfilia look up to the fragments of Tupsimati upon the wall of the Solar and say, "Louisoix, do you see? Your light shines brightly in this one. And in time, it will illuminate the realm once more." In the patches, as the Scions prepare to depart for Mor Dhona, she asks, "Tell me, Louisoix... Would you have done the same?" And in learning that Hydaelyn has been silent to both herself and the Warrior of Light, she says, "Then She speaks to neither one of us. Hydaelyn's silence portends naught but ill, I fear. Louisoix… I pray you yet watch over us…"

And as Urianger brings his plan with the Warriors of Darkness to fruition, just before calling upon the Warrior of Light to invoke the power of their crystals, he utters, "Master Louisoix, guide my hand, I pray you, as fate's thread spinneth upon this most capricious spindle." (Note that as with Hydaelyn, and with Louisoix’s grandchildren, Urianger uses the formal you rather than the informal thou.)

While for other Scions, these invocations largely fall away after ARR, for Urianger they do not. As late as Endwalker, he still prays to his late master and invokes his protection:

'Tis no meager delight to watch Alisaie and Alphinaud grow more resolute in mind and heart. And remarkable though their accomplishments may be, I doubt not that they are destined for still greater things. Grant them thy protection, Master Louisoix. I implore thee…

As the Scions call upon their various allies and prepare to use salvaged Allagan technology to craft a vessel to ferry people to the moon, Urianger has this idle remark:

What serendipitous irony that the remnants of the Seventh Umbral Calamity would become the keys to mankind's salvation. Never more certain have I been that Master Louisoix watcheth over us from the aetherial sea...

In this, it is plain that Urianger's faith is deeply tied not merely to distant gods, but to one particularly trusted mortal leader.

Faith, Science, and Flexibility of Mind

Above, I discussed how the Scions’ understanding of Hydaelyn is both scientific and spiritual. It is also worth noting that this idea of the dead watching over them from the aetherial sea seems somewhat divergent from the standard beliefs of Twelve-worship, the seven heavens and hells to which mortals ascend or descend upon death depending on their deeds. Devout as they may be, the Scions’ beliefs about the afterlife are more aligned with the scientific findings of Sharlayan’s aetherologists. This is evident in 2.3, when Urianger and Minfilia review the principles of aetheric dissipation:

Minfilia: Before discussing our new discoveries, it may benefit us all to recall what we know of aetheric behavior. Minfilia: Let us begin at what some might call the end. When we who dwell in the material realm die, our spirits dissolve into the flow of aether, and are returned to the aetherial realm. Minfilia: In turn, the restless energy which suffuses that plane streams back into our world, giving rise to new life. Urianger: 'Tis as the heavens did decree─the way of all mortal souls. Urianger: 'Twixt this world and the next do the aetherial currents swirl, bearing the very essence of life. Thus doth the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth continue unabated.

I find this exchange particularly interesting, because it does not seem to me that the Scions see any conflict between their faith in the Twelve and their understanding of aetherological phenomena. In fact, Urianger explicitly frames the latter in spiritual terms: “’Tis as the heavens did decree.” Integrating a scientific understanding into his nonetheless devout worldview does not seem to be an issue for him, or for the Scions generally. This seems perfectly in keeping with the Sharlayan ethos to me, but it also seems pretty consistent with who Urianger is as a person, with his love of esoteric texts packed with metaphor and poetic imagination. Even were the tenets of Twelve-worship strictly codified across Eorzea, which I suspect they are not on the whole (Ishgard's strict textual orthodoxy seems to be the exception and not the rule), Urianger is not a literalist. It’s probably not a reach for him to interpret "hells and heavens" as poetic interpretations of observable reality.

Urianger will later say that his studies in prophecies have granted him a “flexibility of mind,” and I think that’s an accurate descriptor.

The Art of Foreknowledge

At the heart of Urianger's faith is his belief in foreknowledge and fate.

We are told that prophetic works have fascinated Urianger from a young age—and at this point, I think we need to take a step back and talk about what, exactly, prophecy is in this world. So far as I know, Final Fantasy XIV doesn’t ever really give us a clear definition, but we can deduce some things from context.

Divination takes a variety of forms in this universe, from the astrology we see in Sharlayan and Ishgardian practice, to tomes of poetic verse which are accepted as having some true bearing on the future or the nature of the world or both. It is the latter which is Urianger’s primary field of expertise, though he does seem to have some background in the theory of astrology, and takes it up in practice later on.

That part about certain texts being widely accepted as prophetic is pretty important. We can guess that among scholars of prophecy there is an accepted canon of sorts—works which are acknowledged by scholarly consensus as bearing prophetic relevance. In the cutscene with Elidibus in the Great Gubal Library, Urianger initially scoffs at the Gerun Oracles as “apocrypha”: non-canon, not accepted in scholarly circles as significant. (Elidibus, of course, refutes this by calling it “a truth long forgotten.”)

Prophecy in fantasy fiction often focuses primarily on predictions of the future, but there is a more nuanced understanding to be had of prophecy as speaking of past, present, andfuture, and of truths fundamental to the nature of reality. This is certainly true of many of the texts we hear Urianger recite. Some offer a more vague sort of wisdom, such as the verse Urianger recites for the Scions upon their departure to the Far East:

Look ye where the sun doth rise, see crimson embers, dark'ning skies... Look ye where the sun doth fall, see azure lost amidst the squall.

There is certainly some meaning to be found in these words with regard to the events of Stormblood: conflict in both east and west, war on both horizons. "Azure lost amidst the squall" might even be interpreted as a poetic reference to Estinien's activities. Still, these words offer no great revelations. Compare this to the Gerun Oracles, which Urianger comes to accept it as not only true, but corroborating the revelations of the Word of the Mother with regard to the Sundering, the Reflections, and their destruction in the Umbral Calamities. Even of this text, Urianger acknowledges, "their copious use of allegory defieth any single interpretation." Prophetic texts, it seems, are rarely straightforward.

So, we return to the question: what is prophecy? Where did these writers gain the insights which they put to verse? Did they even understand their significance at the time of writing? Unfortunately, in this regard we really have only conjecture. I think it's easy enough to come up with plausible theories. The prophets might have been experiencing the Echo; they might have had contact with Ascians; they might have been spoken to by Hydaelyn Herself. The game, alas, does not offer us these answers. Indeed, even of the text most central to Louisoix's journey into Eorzea we know almost nothing.

The Divine Chronicles of Mezaya Thousand-Eyes are a series of prophetic writings that seem to describe each of the first six umbral calamities. This text is so widely-known that even Garleans are familiar with it and the Legatus Nael van Darnus of 1.0 fame also apparently regarded it as prophetic (according to GamerEscape’s 1.0 summary, The Rise and Fall of the White Raven). Of the famed prophetess who penned it, we have almost no information at all. The various fan wikis don't even have pages for her, as there is basically nothing to include there. Her writings, however, seem to be accepted as prophetic. In fact, the six verses of the Chronicles were widely cited as proof that no further Calamities would occur… until a seventh verse was found inscribed on a stone tablet in a cave.

Louisoix Leveilleur, Sharlayan's foremost expert on prophecy, believed this verse pointed to a seventh impending calamity. According the the Unending Codex, it was for this reason that Urianger joined the Circle of Knowing, seeking to understand the truth of this text. And the belief that Eorzea would soon be plunged into another calamity led Louisoix to leave Sharlayan with his followers and venture south into Eorzea to help her city-states prepare for the worst.

In their understanding of this prophetic text, they found purpose. Which leads us to…

Fate and Purpose

I want to return to Urianger's words about Louisoix in the Waking Sands, specifically the latter part of it:

The stars wheel across the heavens, and the skies brighten once more. The survivors gather, and ignite a fiery dawn to burn away the glowering shroud. Ah, but destiny, thou art beautiful...

Destiny, thou art beautiful. This is how Urianger conceptualizes the Scions gathering in the wake of their beloved master's sacrifice. We're still about mid-ARR here, before the Warrior of Light has slain Titan. Compare to Y'shtola's idle dialogue at the same point in MSQ:

As you have doubtless witnessed in your travels, the lands of Eorzea are gasping under the pall of a suffocating darkness. I must wonder if it is this darkness that invites disaster, or simply that disaster has left such gloom in its wake. One thing is for certain: now is not the time to relax our vigilance.

Urianger is hardly unaware of the trials facing the Scions and Eorzea at large, and yet his framing of their present circumstances is distinctly one of hope. Where Y'shtola speaks ominously of "the pall of a suffocating darkness," Urianger speaks almost rapturously of "a fiery dawn to burn away the glowering shroud."

Keep in mind, too, that these words about the beauty of destiny follow directly from Urianger speaking of Louisoix's death. This sentiment will be echoed later when, upon the death of his oldest and dearest friend, Urianger declares, "The moon sinketh, taking her leave of the heavens. Yet her passing heraldeth the coming of a new day. Moenbryda hath fulfilled her destiny, hath she not?"

This is Urianger's response to loss. He affirms his belief in fate—not simply in predestination, in a future that may be foreseen, but in a brighter future that will give purpose to such sacrifices.

Encyclopedia Eorzea Volume 3 tells us that Urianger’s parents rarely had time for him as a child, occupied as they were with their own research. I think this likely impressed upon him from a young age that there was always something more important than him. And when his parents effectively abandoned him with the neighbors and departed for “parts unknown,” never to return, that idea would only have been solidified.

For a child already fascinated by prophecy and the idea of fate, I imagine it could have offered some kind of comfort to believe that the pain of his abandonment was all for a higher purpose, a greater good.

I can imagine how this belief, so ingrained in him as a child, could lead him to go along with his mentor even when Louisoix declared that Moenbryda must stay behind, and offered her no explanation as to why. It's clear that Urianger felt some guilt in the wake of this decision, specifically his choice not to explain Lousioix's intentions, believing their master wanted Moenbryda to come to that understanding on her own. As he laments after his friend's death, "Knowingly did I deny my friend the comfort she craved." Yet he did all of this, undoubtedly, not only out of faith in his mentor's judgment, but because he believed it to be in service of a greater good. And in fact, he seems to take Moenbryda's final words as affirmation that Louisoix was, in fact, correct. "The realization hath set her free. She may now find the peace which hath for so long eluded her."

So in the end, to his thinking, it all worked out as it was meant to.

I don't think Urianger believes that the future is set in stone. If that were the case, then personal choice would be meaningless; there would have been no reason to intervene in the first place, to warn the Eorzean nations of the Calamity, if the future would play out the same regardless. Indeed, Urianger speaks frequently of choice, and agonizes over the difficult choices he holds himself responsible for making.

What he does believe for a long time, I think, is that in the face of an impending and forewarned crisis, there is often only one path forward to avert it. The role of the one who would heed the warnings of the prophets is to make the necessary choices no matter how painful, to take the necessary actions, to make what sacrifices must be made.

When he overhears his oldest and dearest friend about to sacrifice herself to destroy an Ascian, he does not intervene to stop her. He speaks of her having "fulfilled her destiny," even as he will torment himself for this decision for a long time to come.

And as the Scions face mounting challenges for which they are increasingly unprepared, Urianger increasingly decides that his role is to take those burdens upon himself.

Changing Roles

I did not get to experience 1.0 for myself, and so what I know of Urianger's role in it is sadly limited to what has been preserved by other fans. To the best of my understanding, his role was as a kind of doomsayer, traveling from settlement to settlement and sharing prophecies of the Calamities in an attention-getting manner. Though his approach was off-putting to many, his performance ultimately succeeded in its aim: serving as a diversion for the Garlean Empire, leading Legatus Nael van Darnus to fixate on apprehending him, while in the meantime Louisoix and his fellow archons were able to rally the Grand Companies to face the coming crisis. (@mirkemenagerie has a great post about that.)

By the time ARR begins, this performance is no longer needed, and Urianger has taken on a much different role in the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, an organization formed from the merger of Louisoix's Circle of Knowing and Minfilia's Path of the Twelve. He is now the keeper of the Waking Sands, and the Scions' primary adviser on primal lore, and only rarely ventures out in the field with his fellow Archons.

And I think that initially, Urianger seems happy enough with this role. Though he may not get out as much as he once did, the Waking Sands are lively with new recruits. Urianger can be seen at various points during ARR having spirited conversations with other NPCs. In one bit of idle dialogue, he says, "As the primals fall, so do our spirits soar. Though mine aid be but modest, I nonetheless am heartened in my duties."

Urianger is happy here. Though the Scions face many mounting trials, he is surrounded by a community united in purpose with a leader in whom he may place his trust, and his duty is clear.

It's not until the ARR patches, when things really go awry for the Scions, that we begin to see the seeds of doubt in our steadfast arcanist.

The Seeds of Doubt

The defeat of the Ultima Weapon fundamentally alters the Scions' path and their role in Eorzea. While they have always been in communication with Eorzea's leaders and called upon for aid, now they are thrust into the public eye in an unprecedented way. 2.1 opens with Minfilia reflecting upon the myriad support from various parties suddenly on offer—and the price that inevitably comes with it. Urianger seems to share her ambivalence:

'Tis the lot of the powerful to attract the covetous as well as the needy. Thus doth prudence dictate that those with power proffer aid with one hand whilst the other resteth ever on their hilt. Alas, we have not the luxury of time to decipher our petitioners' machinations─nay, not while the beast tribes do labor unseen, defiant in defeat, to raise up their fallen primals once more. Doubt not that they shall return─stronger and bolder both─nor that we shall be the ones to meet them. This sacred charge shall ever be ours. 'Tis but a pity we are so few, and our fortune so finite...

By this point, tragedy has already altered Urianger's surrounds irrevocably. The Garlean attack on the Waking Sands has left dead many of the people with whom he once socialized on a daily basis, leaving the Scions' headquarters a much quieter and more somber place. Urianger himself, fortunate enough to be one of those spared, endured capture and imprisonment.

And further change threatens to unsettle the place and the people amongst whom he has found a home. Despite Minfilia's reticence, we see her increasingly bow to the vision Alphinaud has for the Scions—what he sees as continuing the work his grandfather began. Repeatedly, we see the two of them clash over what is best for the Scions—and each time, we see Minfilia cede ground.

Urianger is not without his own concerns about the Scions’ new direction, though he refrains from clashing directly with either Alphinaud or Minfilia, likely out of his deep respect for both of them. Nonetheless, he chooses to stay behind in the Waking Sands and continue his research there. "I had thought to relinquish the property," Minfilia explains, "but he was quite adamant, and I had not the heart to disagree."

As the Scions prepare to depart for Mor Dhona, Urianger confides in the Warrior of Light:

Thou art ever welcome, [Forename], but I require no assistance. Pray take thy leave unburdened by concern for my well-being. Verily, thy countenance bespeaks a desire to quit this place without further delay. Hm. Mayhap thou thinkest this chapter of our tale concluded─that these halls should rightly be consigned to the annals of history...? In man's eagerness to seize the future, how readily he doth set down the past. Full many a proud pioneer hath bravely stridden into the great unknown, only to find there the banner of his ancestor, faded by the eons. And still man glorieth in his discoveries. 'Tis through his pride that wisdom doth ever give way to ignorance, while they who lurk in shadow remain hidden, lost no sooner than they are found. <sigh> Be not offended, [Forename]. Thy conduct hath ever been beyond reproach. Despite thy surpassing strength, and all thy many victories, thou hast never been so convinced of thine own greatness as to imagine thyself above the failings of thy forebears. Mayhap it is the Echo which hath opened thine eyes to the lessons of history. Would that the same could be said of─

(At which point he is cut off by Minfilia's scream as she is accosted by Elidibus.)

It is not difficult to imagine that in the midst of so much upheaval, Urianger's remaining in the Waking Sands might be his way of clinging to one familiar thing, a place he feels at home, even if it cannot be for him what it once was. That said, he clearly has very real concerns about the Scions' direction on the world stage, and worries that his trusted leader is failing to heed the lessons of history.

I have no doubt that Urianger has great love and respect for Minfilia, but I do think this is when his faith in her as a leader begins to waver a little. Whether he meant to name her or Alphinaud before he was cut off is ultimately irrelevant, as Minfilia has capitulated to Alphinaud's vision for the Scions. (And I don't mean to pick on Minfilia here; she's another one of my favorite characters, and I think she does the best she can with the circumstances in which she finds herself and largely does manage to rise to the challenge of leading the Scions in Louisoix's absence. Through no fault of her own, she's simply ill-equipped to handle the increasing visibility and political volatility of the Scions' position, and the deference with which all the Archons seem to feel they should treat Louisoix's grandchildren only further complicates an already messy situation.)

And the hits just keep coming. Up until now, the Scions have worked closely with the Students of Baldesion, receiving substantial support from the Sharlayan organization and frequently consulting them for their research. They've barely arrived at Revenant's Toll when Urianger brings the news that he is unable to contact the Students, and fears the worst. Not long after, contacts in Sharlayan confirm the shocking news that entire Isle of Val, where the Students had had their base, has vanished. Once again, these likely include colleagues and friends, people with whom Urianger once communicated regularly for a common purpose. Now missing under terrifying circumstances, and feared dead.

It is in the midst of such turmoil that Urianger makes a rare trek out into the field to observe a primal firsthand—feeling, perhaps, that in the absence of the allies who had once provided valuable insights, it is his duty to observe all he can, even if it's quite a departure from his usual domain of written lore. And not long after that, faced with the puzzle of tracking down Lady Iceheart's hidden aetheryte, he calls upon Moenbryda.

In the light of all that has come before, this is such an interesting choice. Moenbryda’s expertise in aetherology is certainly invaluable to their present crisis, but there’s no doubt that it would have been valuable at many points prior. Louisoix Leveilleur has been dead for five years. Only now, after the Scions have suffered major losses at the hands of the Garleans and lost even more with the disappearance of the Students of Baldesion, does Urianger contravene the will of his late mentor, and ask Moenbryda to come to Eorzea.

So far as we know, this might be the only time he’s ever done that.

I bring all this up because it is here, in the ARR patches, where we see Urianger begin in subtle ways to question the wisdom of his trusted leaders. I don’t think this means that he in any way doubts the intentions of Louisoix or of Minfilia, or their principles in the broad strokes. His reverence for Louisoix persists all the way to Endwalker, and he continues to behave with great deference toward Minfilia, as well as toward the twins. There’s just a subtle shift here from Urianger simply doing as he’s told, to Urianger acting out of his own sense of duty to do what he believes necessary.

I didn't realize until the conversation in Endwalker that the implication of Urianger’s “I heard all” is meant to be that he was there just offscreen listening when Moenbryda died, not simply that he heard the others discussing her death after the fact. Though he clearly did not overhear her words about understanding Louisoix’s sacrifice (as the Warrior of Light has to tell him), his Endwalker dialogue makes it clear that he could have called out to her and begged her to live—and he did not. Knowingly, he allowed her to sacrifice herself to destroy an Ascian—for the greater good.

Moenbryda hath fulfilled her destiny, hath she not? Thus does Urianger justify her sacrifice, as well as his own part in it, and thus does her death serve to reinforce his existing beliefs, even as it torments him with undeniable regret.

A Creed Sacrosanct

At the end of the ARR patches leading into Heavensward, the Urianger approached by Elidibus has seen nearly every person and institution in which he placed his faith crumble and vanish. Louisoix is dead, the Students of Baldesion missing and presumed dead, many other friends and colleagues lost, Minfilia missing, the remaining Scions scattered to the winds, the Waking Sands near-empty. Beyond what he may contribute to the search for the missing, coordinated by Tataru from distant Ishgard, Urianger is rudderless and leaderless both.

What remains is his faith in a greater good, in a higher purpose. And this time, when duty calls, he will choose to place that burden on none but himself.

The way Elidibus speaks to Urianger, I don’t doubt that he’s been observing the Archon for some time, because he seems to know exactly what buttons to push. For one thing, he approaches Urianger just when he is at his most vulnerable and alone. The Warriors of Darkness don’t actually come on the scene until post-Heavensward; Elidibus didn’t strictly need Urianger yet and doesn’t seem to have had him doing anything throughout Heavensward, but nonetheless, this is when he chooses to make contact. Upon their first meeting, he says, “I would speak of fate, Archon. Yours, mine—the fate of this very star.”

Later in 3.1, when we see them in the Great Gubal library and Urianger scoffs at the Gerun Oracles as apocryphal, Elidibus replies:

It is a truth long forgotten─a tale of the beginning, and of the path we have been set upon. Our fates were ordained long ago, Archon. The Garleans are no exception. Nor the Triad. You know what must be done.

We have only a few brief scenes of their interactions, and yet in these few words it’s made plain how Elidibus gained Urianger’s faith, not in his intentions, but in the truth of his words. As Urianger says later:

‘Twas in the hope of opening mine eyes to said revelation that they first came unto me, imagining it sufficient to secure mine allegiance. Nor would they have been mistaken─were my heart a temple to truth alone. But as a devoted follower of Master Louisoix's teachings, and for the love I bear him and his, I hearkened not to their words.

Elidibus is able to persuade Urianger of the truth of the Sundering, the Reflections, and the Rejoinings. Where he miscalculates is in missing Urianger’s core belief, his faith in the core of his mentor’s teachings, their entire purpose in coming to Eorzea: To ignore the plight of those one might conceivably save is not wisdom—it is indolence.

By the time his friends are found and the Scions begin to rebuild, Urianger is already in the weeds with Elidibus and the Warriors of Darkness, and that secret in itself serves to further isolate him from his friends—though clearly not without misgivings. After pushing Arbert to confront the Warrior of Light, we see Urianger in a private moment of doubt, saying to himself:

What good a creed one cannot uphold? What hurts soothed, what lives saved... O hapless fool, what hast thou wrought by thine own hands? Minfilia, my friends─I shall not now beg your forgiveness. Full deeply though it paineth me to walk it, I shall not stray from my chosen path. As Moenbryda remained steadfast, so too shall I...

And once again, Urianger places the greater good, those who may yet be saved, before all else. Once again he accepts, as a necessary sacrifice, the loss of a trusted leader and a dear friend—though in this case, it is worth noting, Minfilia is for all practical purposes already lost to her friends, having offered herself to Hydaelyn. It is impossible to say whether she could or would ever have returned to mortal life, given that she has made effectively the same sacrifice the Warriors of Darkness made; nonetheless, her willing journey to the First does, in the eyes of her friends, all but eliminate that possibility. Urianger does not send her to the First, despite what Alphinaud says in an emotional moment; he couldn’t have forced her to go, especially had it gone against Hydaelyn’s will. What he does is functionally what Elidibus did to him: he tells the truth, and offers a choice. As Urianger chose to act, as Moenbryda chose to act, so too does Minfilia.

Nonetheless, he accepts that his friends will hold him responsible, for her loss and for the deception both. This he considers an acceptable sacrifice for the salvation of a distant star. He accepts the burden of this responsibility—and ultimately, he sees his faith in Hydaelyn and in Minfilia rewarded. The First is saved from absolute destruction by Minfilia’s intervention.

It’s no wonder, then, that it takes Urianger so long to change direction. Every sacrifice up to this point has been devastating, but still seemed ultimately necessary. Louisoix. Moenbryda. Minfilia.

It’s no wonder that, upon arriving in the First and seeing what his actions have wrought, he agrees to go along with the Exarch’s plan.

The Point of Failure

Once again, Urianger accepts a temporary deception and a permanent sacrifice as necessary in the service of the greater good.

Though Elidibus and the Exarch have very different motives, I think there are some striking similarities in the way they approach Urianger. Both, it’s safe to say, have observed him and his personality, and deemed him the best choice of accomplice. Both persuade him by getting him alone, and once persuaded, keeping their secrets will further isolate him from his friends. When the Warrior of Light arrives in the First, the Scions are scattered and distant, each pursuing their goals alone, and I think it’s safe to say that the secrecy has contributed to that—particularly for Y’shtola, who seems to have realized early on both that the Exarch was hiding something and that Urianger’s vision didn’t pass the smell test.

Once again, we see Urianger having clear reservations about the path he’s chosen. He appears anguished in the Echo flashback with the Exarch, asking whether this is truly the Exarch’s wish before he agrees. When Y’shtola expresses her concern for the Warrior of Light, and questions him about the veracity of his “vision,” his eyes drop to the floor as if in shame. Still, as before, Urianger accepts that he will face condemnation for what he has been party to. Once again, he has faith that it will all be worth it. The Warrior of Light and the First will be saved, his faith will be rewarded, and he will accept the responsibility for what it cost.

It’s not without cost even for the Warrior of Light, who is kept in the dark about what’s happening to them as they slay the Lightwardens, and clearly suffers considerable pain from the accumulation of Light once it reaches a critical mass. Urianger bears witness to this, and I don’t doubt that he feels remorse for it, even as he is committed to his path.

There’s this beautiful moment after the defeat of the Rak'tika Lightwarden where Y'shtola asks Urianger to describe the night sky to her. He describes it thus:

A sea of shimmering stars. Diamonds strewn across a raven gown, boundless and beautiful. 'Tis an exquisite sight not unlike that of the Source. Calm and gentle... and forgiving...

This comes directly after Y'shtola presses him for the second time on telling the Warrior of Light the truth about the Light's corruption.

Once again, the cost weighs upon Urianger. He longs not only for the reassurance of faith rewarded, of a higher purpose served, but for forgiveness.

In his conversation with Ryne, Urianger speaks of life as "a tapestry of fates," and of the difficult decisions that must be made by those who strive to do good. He concludes with this:

Thou needst but have faith. Have faith and all will be well.

And I don't doubt that he means it. Is this not, after all, what he is doing? Continuing to withhold his knowledge and deceive his friends, out of faith that the Exarch's plan will succeed, and all will be well? If the Warrior of Light declares their trust in his plan in Kholusia, he swears to them that that trust is not misplaced. That their faith will be rewarded, that all will be well.

Thing is, in the end, that sentiment is proven wrong.

Faith isn't enough. The Exarch, however well-intentioned, fails to account for Emet-Selch's interference, the plan fails, and now Urianger is forced to confess his deception, not in victory, but to a friend on the brink of death.

After the revelations with the Warriors of Darkness, Urianger speaks frankly to the Warrior of Light, saying, “Speak thy mind. I do not expect thy forgiveness.” He even says later that Alisaie was right to condemn his choices. But he does not quite say he was wrong, and I think that’s apparent in the fact that when confronted with a similar scenario by the Exarch, though it is with obvious reluctance, he makes a similar choice.

And though Urianger even now does not openly beg forgiveness… his posture toward the Warrior of Light is very different. He goes to one knee, bowing his head before them. He says, “I offer no excuse.” He asks to be allowed to join them in setting things right, promising that his talents are at their disposal. He effectively throws himself upon their mercy. If the Warrior of Light forgives him, the look on his face is one of absolute relief, joy, and gratitude. There’s no doubt in my mind that that is the outcome he most desires, though he hardly dares hope for it.

This time, I think he knows he's fucked up. Perhaps it took the Exarch's plan going terribly sidewise for him to reach that point. I think this is a critical turning point for Urianger, one that sets him on the path to genuinely reevaluating his world view.

A Different Path

I've spent a long time pondering the fact that Urianger never has much of a visible crisis of faith upon learning the true nature of Hydaelyn.

He remarks upon it, of course, following Emet-Selch’s revelations about Hydaelyn and Zodiark in Shadowbringers:

'Tis oft said truth is a matter of perspective. Yet upon this matter, there can be but one truth. I only pray it is not his.

From that moment on, I was honestly waiting for more of a reaction from him, especially after the confirmation in Endwalker by Hydaelyn’s own words that She is, in fact, a primal. You’d sort of expect it, right? More and more, as time has gone on and their understanding of the world has broadened, the faith of the Scions as a whole and Urianger’s devotion in specific has shifted away from the Twelve and toward Hydaelyn as an all-encompassing mother-goddess. To learn now that She is truly a primal—one of the very beings the Scions have sought to eradicate, for their devastating effects on the land and on people… Can they still trust Her guidance? Are the Echo-blessed merely tempered? What does it all mean?

Indeed, I think that these revelations very likely would have triggered a crisis of faith in pre-Shadowbringers Urianger.

But by Endwalker, Urianger is not that person anymore.

In Endwalker, we see the culmination of Urianger’s long character arc in several key scenes. The first of these comes on the moon, after the Loporrits, well-intentioned but anxious for the success of their venture after the lukewarm response to their preparations, have taken him aside and asked him to act as a liaison of sorts—to use his powers of persuasion to convince their collaborators that the moon will be a suitable vessel for the people of Etheirys.

On the surface perhaps, the Loporrits aren’t asking him to tell any really dramatic falsehoods—just talk up the moon, make it sound good, while passing along any information he can on what could improve it. And all in the service of saving a whole world full of people. He’s done far worse for that.

The subtext, however, is that Urianger would be acting to push the evacuation plan—perhaps at the expense of putting his efforts toward a way to halt the Final Days for good. Though this plan might well save the people of the Source, the reflections would be lost—a sacrifice beyond anything that’s been asked of him before. And yet if they fail to stop the Final Days, and exodus proves the only option left… could his powers of persuasion prove the difference in saving who they still can?

It all seems to immediately strike a nerve. “And so fate doth conspire to set my feet upon this path once more...” Moreover, Urianger hones right in on why he has been chosen for this task. “Is it so plain that these strangers could intuit it at a glance? My capacity for silence and secrecy... and duplicity.”

For a moment, it even appears that he might be considering going along with it. Once again, he references fate… but almost immediately, I think, he begins to turn away from that path. Y’shtola even remarks, “Urianger usually puts more effort into concealing his clandestine endeavors.” And when the Warrior of Light catches up to him, Urianger is unsurprised to see them, remarking, “Thine arrival is timely as ever.” It seems that he has already chosen not to move in shadow.

For his experiences in the First have changed him, and in the conversation that follows, he will explain why.

To me, this scene is a truly inspired moment of character development. In the hands of a lesser writer, we might have just gotten a "I don't want to lie and hide things from my friends anymore, because deception is bad" kind of epiphany. And like, sure, but that's never really been the core of it. Urianger doesn't keep secrets because he loves lying and being deceptive. He actually really doesn't. He hates it. Every time he's done it, it's been because he believed it was the only choice that would server the greater good, and the critical bit, as he finally says so candidly, is that he never looked for another way. Just as he didn't intervene to stop Moenbryda from sacrificing herself so that they could find a alternate source of aether to destroy an Ascian, he didn't look for an alternative to going undercover with the Warriors of Darkness alone, and he didn't try to convince the Exarch to look for an alternate solution to the Light problem.

“Dutiful disciple of Louisoix,” he says of himself, “ever looking to the greater good…” But the greater good part has also never actually been his problem. The Scions are all about the greater good, and most of them have been ready and willing to throw themselves on the sword should the greater good require it. The real significance of this description isn’t the greater good, but the dutiful disciple of Louisoix. Louisoix, their master; Louisoix, the prophet of their age.

Louisoix, who himself once asked Urianger to travel the realm alone and act as a diversion, while he himself moved in shadow to prepare Eorzea for the worst.

Urianger may have a natural talent for theatrics and misdirection, but he didn’t learn this from nowhere. He learned it, and performed it, at the behest of his beloved mentor, his prophet, his saint. The man who said, The worst is coming, and laid before them a path to fight it. And in his absence, Urianger has followed the path that Louisoix laid out for him: doom foretold, and one path to avert it, a path marked by, as he says now, subterfuge and sacrifice.

It's only here on the moon, faced with the request that he be the hype man for evacuating the entire star’s population onto a spaceship crewed by rabbits, that he finally says: There must be another way.

Even now, while he hopes to persuade the Loporrits to consider another avenue, he initially thinks to take that burden on himself so the responsibility of failure will be his alone. But when the Warrior of Light approaches, he confides in them, takes their encouragement to heart, and invites them to join him.

Ultimately, Urianger decides to stay on the moon to offer the Loporrits his aid, while his friends continue their work down on the surface. A plan that allows for multiple contingencies, making the best of the Loporrits’ preparations even as they hope not to need them, and most critically, a plan which requires cooperation and communication, not secrecy. Even now, it is possible they will fail. Yet for the first time, Urianger accepts that he need not carry his burdens alone. He has faith that his friends have the strength, and indeed the desire, to bear them alongside him.

This is the shift in Urianger’s faith, and the reason that in Endwalker his resolve is not shaken, but is in fact stronger than ever.

Standing Together

Urianger’s second key scene in Endwalker comes after he has returned with a gaggle of Loporrits eager to see Etheirys for themselves and learn how they can help.

Here is perhaps a good time to recall again that despite the stories of his early childhood, the Urianger we know as an adult has always been a fairly social person in his own way. In his 1.0 role, he might have been off-putting to some, but he was certainly not a recluse, and the work he was doing required its own particular type of charisma. In ARR we see him not hiding away in a corner with his books, but engaged in conversation with fellow Scions. Even in childhood, it seems like he found it difficult to relate to other children thanks to his singular personality and interests, rather than any innate misanthropy, and Moenbryda’s efforts to befriend him were ultimately successful because she made the effort to understand him.

Isolation seems to mark the darker periods of Urianger’s life, the times in which he undertakes the greatest subterfuge. And even then, he is never truly alone. In fact, he seems to succeed in these situations largely thanks to his skill in understanding and relating to those different than himself—a skill learned from his dear Moenbryda, perhaps. He manages to gain the trust of the very jaded and world-weary Warriors of Darkness. He submits himself to exhausting trials to gain the favor of the pixies and becomes practically an expert in the customs of the fae. It’s little wonder that he bonds so quickly and so well with the Loporrits, facilitating a great exchange of information and a much deeper understanding, ultimately getting them involved in the Scions' efforts to defeat Meteion and stop the Final Days.

For all his eccentricities, Urianger thrives in community, perhaps even more so in community with the odd and the unusual.

And thus do Moenbryda’s parents observe with great affection when they are reunited with him in the Sharlayan hamlet:

Wilfsunn: And look at you now. At the center of the crowd─the reason there even is a crowd, having brought these people together. You've no idea how proud we are. Bloewyda: To see the boy our daughter trusted and believed in more than anyone... grow into the man she always knew he could be.

Urianger’s final key scene in Endwalker is in Ultima Thule.

It took me months to fully process the final events of Endwalker after playing through it. It's not that I disliked it—far from it, in fact. It was deeply cathartic to play through, and left me with a lot of lingering emotions. The main thing I had to grapple with was the sacrifice aspect. For the Scions, I think so much of their arc as a group has been moving past the idea that every victory must involve some heroic sacrifice. We have seen the culmination of Urianger's character arc in his understanding that sacrifice is not always necessary, or at least should not be assumed to be the only way. Moreover, Endwalker as a whole is about the need to stand together. We see not only the payoff of the Scions’ relationships, strengthened over the course of several expansions, but the payoff of the many relationships the Warrior of Light has forged in their adventures, all coming together to save the world.

So why does this story then culminate in the Scions sacrificing themselves one by one, so that the Warrior of Light can forge on alone?

I do think we are meant to understand that the Scions are not permanently dead and gone. Even in-universe, the Warrior of Light is given to understand that between the malleability of reality in this dynamis-based place and the power infused into Azem’s crystal, it is possible to bring their friends back. Hydaelyn hints at it, noting that souls were drawn to the WoL in their journey through the aetherial sea. Y’shtola says it outright:

Though my body will soon dissipate, there may be a way to restore it. Azem's magick. So long as our souls remain, you can use it to summon us back. But you mustn't, for it would mean losing our way forward. This, I only reveal so that you can promise not to invoke the magick.

G’raha, too, as he prepares to give himself to open the way forward, asks the Warrior of Light for several promises for the future, all of which indicate faith that they will be reunited.

And this all builds on what the Warrior of Light has seen in their journeys, in particular the understanding of life and death and the aetherial sea which their descent into the Aitiascope recently confirmed: the souls of the dead do not always dissipate immediately into their component aether, but may linger, still conscious of themselves, in the aetherial sea, even for considerable time. In the Aitiascope, we see departed friends come to the side of the Warrior of Light to lend them aid.

When Bloewyda says, “I can see her in you, too. Feel her. She walks with you, wheresoever you go…” and Urianger replies, “I think… I can feel her too,” it may sound like mere sentiment at the time. When the Warrior of Light and Alphinaud see a vision of Haurchefant and Ysayle at their side as they fight to prise the Eyes of Nidhogg from Estinien’s armor and save their friend, we might doubt whether they are literally there, or whether it’s simply their memory that gives our heroes the strength to succeed. But this, I believe, is what we are meant to take from the journey through the Aitiascope: it is not mere sentiment. In this world, the departed can and sometimes do watch over their loved ones from the aetherial sea for a time, even if they cannot intervene in mortal affairs.

And thus, whatever it is precisely that happens to the souls of the Scions as they leave their corporeal forms in Ultima Thule to bend its reality to their will, they are not gone.

Thancred’s intitial sacrifice to save his friends seems to be pure impulse. He has no time to think, only acts on instinct, and bids them live, and in this asserts his will over reality. When the others understand what he has done, however, each in turn are faced with a choice.

And Urianger’s approach to this choice is somewhat different than the rest. He does not simply announce his decision on the spot, but takes the Warrior of Light and G’raha aside to confide in them. (It seems he still harbors some discomfort in revealing his thoughts to the whole group—perhaps not least because he knows how the twins will respond.) In this conversation he reveals not merely his plan, but the thoughts that have led him there, as well as some guidance for their next steps.

In true Urianger form, he speaks of faith, and of fate. Addressing G’raha, he says:

I once placed my faith in thy chosen path, walking at thy side full knowing that we were bound for thy demise. I ask now that thou returnest the favor, and abide in faith as I fulfill mine own destiny.

I think it is important here that Urianger’s belief in fate, in purpose, persists. Moreover, he uses the word destiny in the context in which he has always used it: to offer purpose and hope in the face of loss.

But no longer does he presume that facing his destiny means facing it alone. “Yet even if I must needs go to such lengths,” he says, “I cannot well feign ignorance of the answer I have found within... The answer to the question: in what moment might I stand strongest?”

It’s clear that since their arrival in Ultima Thule and Thancred’s sacrifice, Urianger has been ruminating upon this question. This time, he has the opportunity to consider the choices ahead, not simply make a decision on the spot, and he seizes that opportunity, looking for where he may do the most good.

He does not say outright what answer he found, not yet, but it becomes clear when he steps up to join Y’shtola in opening the way forward.

My resolve hath never been as strong as thine. Full oft have I wavered in my decisions, and afterwards been stricken with regret. In spite of this, I may still stand with my comrades, supporting them as they attempt the greatest of feats. This truth, I have learned in the course of our journey.

And not only does Urianger help to forge a path by bending reality, by his words and his insights he also helps to guide his friends to confront each new despair that bars the way—even after he has vanished from their sight.

Ultima Thule is not truly about sacrifice, but about a tremendous leap of faith. It’s about the strength to keep going even in the face of loneliness and despair, to know that one is not alone no matter how alone one may feel. This Urianger has learned, and the Warrior of Light will in turn as they take those final steps.

By the end of his arc, Urianger has learned that he stands strongest at the side of his friends. And perhaps this is not quite a new revelation for him, but a truth learned and forgotten and learned again and again. Character growth need not be a straight line. In his youth, Urianger was an isolated child who learned to accept Moenbryda’s friendship, and it was by her encouragement that he pursued his own path of learning which eventually led him to join Louisoix and the Circle of Knowing. I point back to the animated, talkative Urianger we see in ARR, who in the face of loss and sacrifice yet looked to the future with hope, with faith in his companions and in the continued guidance of their mentor. I think this is a truth he has known before, but one he lost sight of as his community and support system crumbled around him. We might look at Urianger’s downward spiral following Moenbryda’s death as a dark night of the soul, in which he clings to his belief in fate and ordained purpose all the more tightly, for what he has sacrificed for them, even as his insistence upon carrying the weight of duty alone sets him upon an increasingly dark and lonely path.

I wonder if he sees something of that dark and lonely path in Hydaelyn Herself, when he stands before Her and hears Her words: “There was no kindness nor justice in the tragedy I wrought.”

And as Hydaelyn is unburdened at last in entrusting the future to others… so now has Urianger found peace by placing his faith in his friends.

Conclusions

Faith has always been a core part of Urianger’s character. All his life, he has looked to forces outside himself to guide him to the truth and the right path forward, and to reassure him in the face of loss: to the gods, to prophetic writings, to trusted leaders, to the stars. And he has striven to follow what he believed was the right path, even when it meant great sacrifice and pain—even when it drove a wedge between himself and the people dearest to him.

In the end, Urianger does not lose his faith, but rather the shape of it changes. In this he finds greater peace and purpose both, understanding that he need not walk in shadow, or alone.

Having finally met Hydaelyn face to face and understood Her purpose, I think Urianger understands that this is, in fact, what She would want. In Her death, She entrusts the future to Etheirys’s people. And though we unfortunately do not get to see Urianger (or most of the Scions) react to the true nature of the Twelve and their departure from the world in Myths of the Realm… I think he’d be okay about that now, too. It is in those who stand beside him that he now places his faith, not in distant gods. And Urianger has faith that his friends will happily share in his burdens, forgive him his failings, and celebrate their victories together.

And in this new faith, he has also gained faith in himself. He can accept his own strengths and weaknesses, confide in his friends without fear of judgment, request their aid without shame. We see Urianger look to the future and embrace his duties with far greater confidence and far less doubt and torment, knowing that even in the darkest moments, he can rely on the friends who stand at his side.

Endnotes

A huge thank-you to @eriyu for her searchable transcript of MSQ dialogue at xiv.quest, without which this essay and most of my Urianger research would have been a great deal more difficult.

An additional thank-you to all the fans who have worked to preserve material from FFXIV 1.0 and make it available on YouTube, on fan wikis, and in tumblr posts; I am forever in your debt.

#urianger augurelt #ffxiv meta #ffxiv #endwalker spoilers #afk by the aetheryte

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likelysobbing · 30 days ago

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GIRLLLL YOURE FILIPINO???? can I request a kk Arnold x filipino! gf! reader 🙏🙏

#bakla

𖥻 ATE OR ATE ?! kk arnold x filipino!npc reader

synopsis: kk arnold dating a … *gasp!* filipino!npc reader ?!

notes: hey… hey y’all… been a minute… and also hi nonnies, AND my first ever 😸 nonnie hehe YIPPEE!! welcome! i decided to combine all your requests as they were general enough to use as simple prompts! i’ma be real, kk would probably? not really mind your roots? i lowkey had big writing block doing this so the length’s kind of bad but it’s made with a lot of love i promise!! but also its kind of ass. and also, thank you so much for the kind words my loves. i prefer interactions being sent to my ask box so I'll be able to properly get to them.. . but just know I truly appreciate it. you lot are so sweet. #bakla!!!

cw: kk being notoriously bad at pronounciation, paige n ice make a cameo but don’t really have dialogue, i’m posting this sleeeeeepy deepy eepy… goodnight.

THANK YOU FOR THESE REQUESTS you are both geniuses. assuming that you’re talking about a filipino npc gf, i’m just going to automatically assume you’re like fresh from the philippines. maybe you have a student visa, or you just moved here a couple months/years ago and youre still getting used to it, but the point is you’re fresh off the soil of the MOTHERLAND 💪

the way you met + got close was the same as what i wrote in TRU-LY FRU-ITY. the pen-returning first meet, the epiphany at the game kk had, the pining—all of it is the same. There’s no need to elaborate more on it besides the fact that if you have an accent, it made kk’s eyes quirk up a bit—not because she minded it, or that she recognized it— but because it was so uniquely yours. whenever you spoke over her, she was pouty, yeah, but she couldn’t help but notice your voice (again)— and how pretty it sounded overlapping hers. dare i say you’d make sweet music together .. . hahahaha. js kidding. that was a bad innuendo

kk doesn’t outwardly show interest (may or may not be a direct lie)— that is to say, she doesn’t ask about things unless they spark her interest. the problem is, everything sparks her interest. kk in actuality is a very curious person—she’s going to definitely be interested in your culture, but she’ll do it in a way that is lowkey and … #nonchalant.

kk tries to be as lowkey as possible when it comes to her curiosity about your language, but sometimes its hard when hearing your voice— that filipino accent along with it— is such a significant part of her routine. she’s so quietly fascinated by the way your voice sounds like speaking tagalog–to the way your voice sounds like in general– and she finds herself simply exchanging words with you for no real reason other than to hear your voice. she like absorbs information during times like these, don’t get her wrong, but lowkey in the middle of your ramble she just goes off into dreamland and your voice lulls her deeper into it.

“my day was okay,” you begin, kk’s head on your shoulder and her eyes closed as she listens. “yeah?” she replies, “what happened? talk about it.” she insists, snuggling deeper into your neck. you laugh; an airy thing, and you feel kk’s hand on your arm tighten. she curls herself smaller into your space, kissing your shoulder. you raise an eyebrow, “you promise not to fall asleep?”

kk pauses. opens one eye. “girl, don’t start.”

when she sees you reading through tagalog websites, blogs, etc. she cranes her neck slightly down at your device just to see how words are intertwined in your language. she definitely tries to pronounce some words in her head.

you weren’t doing anything, really.

there was a new post from your favorite newsletter— it just happened to be typed out in tagalog, and you were reading it. despite being so far away from home, you tried to keep up with your country’s current events. It wasn’t born out of anything—just curiosity. Your eyes scanned the site, not noticing the looming kk behind you, staring at the screen and tilting her head as if trying to sound the words out.

“mag…” she began, startling you out of your zone as you looked back at her. you looked between her and the screen, leaning back a bit, challenging her to read it as a smirk began to form on your lips. “mag—“ she repeated, butchering it efficiently, “ingat?” she murmured, before saying it out loud again. “ingat.” eenjat.

loud and wrong.

“po kay-o.”

you laugh into your hand, shoulders shaking, and she just stares—trying to sound out the next sentence.

she tries! she’s a huge tryer. not a very huge successor but sometimes she gets it with enough coaching! however, half the time, she focuses more on your voice rather than what you’re actually pronouncing. you’re trying to teach her how to pronounce ‘mahal’ and she’s just staring down at you and your mouth moving. my girl is NOT absorbing anything you’re saying she just thinks you’re pretty

“kk, are you listening?”

“yuuuuup.”

“to what i’m saying, kk.”

“nooope.”

she’d be interested in filipino trends— think the budots craze, for example. we all know kk loves her tiktok dances, and so simply peeking over your shoulder, watching a video of someone completely eating up the dance, would send her into an intriguing phase of . … how u say …. DIGGING.

she ends up learning the tiktok dance herself, doing it, posting it, and not realizing that filipinos have lots of pride. she opens her phone to comments that are literally just ‘UYYY PHILIPPINS🔥🇵🇭’ but in different fonts. she’s actually JUBILANT about it. she even shows you!

“bae-bae!” your head perks up, and you slowly blink as you turn your head to a very happy kk. she greets you with a big smile, presenting her phone to you as if it were blessed by God, holding it up simba style and all—all to show you a …. a tiktok comment section? “kk, what?” your eyebrows furrow, leaning back as if to see better even though you’re not even registering whatever’s being shown to you at all. kk pushes the phone closer to you, “look at these comments!” she giggled, “i got em welcoming me and stuff…”

on the topic of social media… i did say that she didn’t necessarily hard launch you, but she would make it known she was taken. under the assumption that you have a filipino surname, you’d immediately get attention considering filipinos are EVERYWHERE . i am serious . maybe you make a cameo on live, speaking tagalog, or maybe you make an instagram post with a plate of kakanin (yum❤️❤️) at your side, or maybe kk posts you too much (while still trying to stay nonchalant & totally chill about you) and lowkey has people curious enough to stalk you a bit … respectfully. point is, you get outed (is that the right word) as having filipino roots and suddenly everyone is, once again, like: “UYYY PHILIPPINS!!!”

likely every one, and i mean every one of kk’s fans begin to call you ate (big sister). it was started by a filipino portion during a live, and ever since then, you’ve been referred to as ate by kk’s fans. or literally the entirety of uconns fanbase.

SPEAKING OF LIVES ACTUALLY… heres how the usual live goes between the team and you:

kk positioned the phone on a makeshift stand, perching it up on her bedroom wall as paige & ice began to gather around it—with ice pushing you forward to get closer, too. it wasn’t pushing, actually. more so gentle beckoning that felt like a push because she was a D1 basketball player. you digress. kk greeted the live, smile wide as she waved— “hey y’all! it’s beeeeen a minute…. i know, i know, y’all missed us?” she grinned, watching the comments pile up. “we missed y’all too! anyway, for today’s live…” she paused, “i actually don’t really wanna do nothing big.” she shrugged, before shrugging again but this time emphasizing it so as to add comedic effect. you stood stiff as a board behind her, and regardless of whether or not you dressed to make a statement, comments began flooding in.

“who dat in the BACKKKKK”

“i think there’s a statue behind u kk”

“can we get a bueckers cameo” (paige peeked her head into the camera)

“ice brady i love u”

“is that ate?”

“hiii ate!”

“baby, they saying hello to you,” your girlfriend giggled, and you waved. “hello,” you said back, grinning at the comments as they seemed to increase. in complete spirit of spontaneity, kk asked: “actually, is there a hello in tagalog?”

“Tagalog lessons with ate!”

“HEHEHEHE uyy philippins🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭”

“🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭MOTHERLAND🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭”

“it’s just hello kk 💔”

“that comment.” you murmur, pointing briefly at it. “they’re right. literally just ‘hello’, kk.”

“oh! so like, kamusta…”

“when did i ever say that—“

it’s legit just kk asking you to ‘rep the home country’ and you blinking confused into the camera. and then the comments are like “i love you both . adopt me”

KK IS SO CURIOUS . but she doesn’t want to seem too overbearing. BUT SHES SO CURIOUS. but she’s nonchalant about it.

her curiosity comes in what she thinks of as ‘slick remarks’, pointing at things like tables and microwaves and asking you “yo, what’s that called in philippines? is it like different or something?” — of course, you satiate her desires. you respond. this comes, also, in the form of sharing your snacks with her.

i feel like kk would fw mik-mik— it’s like, this sweetened powder that boomed mostly in the 1990s. once you tossed kk a pack, she ended up hooked on those little fuckers. she downs them like they’re crucial to her existence.

“kk.” you called, hands already working to untangle a long chain of the mikmik packets—tearing one off and tossing it to your girlfriend, who already had her head perked up like a very curious puppy that loved you to a degree that was concerning. she caught the packet, hands clasping around it as she blinked. “what’s this?” kk asked, despite already tearing open the packet.

“just eat it.” you ordered, simply. she blinked again, and then because you were her girlfriend and she practically worshipped the ground you walked on, she obeyed!

she dipped the powder into her mouth, letting it soak before her eyes widened in awe—as if she were a renaissance artist, discovering anime for the first time. she looked at the packet in awe, lips parted, and you broke into a grin.

“yo, get me some more of this!”

despite your culture not playing a significant part of the relationship, kk notably acknowledges and adores it as what makes you you—and so, one might say that she loves you even more—but she already loves you the most she physically can.

so she loves you all the same.

@likelysobbing.

#kk arnold x reader #paige bueckers #ice brady #kk arnold #uconn #uconn x reader #uconn kk arnold #kamorea arnold x reader #kamorea arnold #kk arnold uconn #uconn wbb #uconn wbb x reader #paige bueckers x reader #😸 nonnie

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never-rxne · 28 days ago

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i think what most people don't know about the immigrant child experience is how disconnected you will always be from the culture of your motherland.

you're ethnic in face and body, but you will never fully be one thing or another. you live with one foot in each culture, and can't call either one entirely your own. in america you are a minority, in your motherland you are a foreigner.

you'll never understand the nostalgia of your parents, the ways the classrooms looked, the snacks they ate, the tv shows they watched. you'll watch videos by westerners evaluating all the ways your culture is different from america and feel this odd sense of alienation because yes, this is as unfamiliar to you as it is to a westerner, but at the same time, you feel like you're listening to a story about an estranged relative.

you can try to reclaim your culture. you start to feel the disconnect and you tether yourself to anything that makes you feel more... national. you can relearn the language, you can listen to the music, watch the films of your country; you can ask your parents the meaning of your name.

but you're never fully going to be a child of your culture. neither are you going to be fully a westerner. you are an uprooted seed planted in foreign soil. you start to understand the fights you had with your parents in the past, the barrier between their context and yours becomes clearer.

you start to envy the kids who were born and raised in a culture of their own, the ones who can go anywhere and do anything because they are rooted in their homes, because they have a home to return to. those who had relatives other than their parents who bore witness to their upbringing.

where can you go as a child of diaspora? where can you truly call home?

#was going to make this about sevika...but it turned into a thought dump #i'll tag it personal #🇰🇷 things ꩜

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jays-platoon · 6 days ago

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Love After Legacy- PJS (teaser)

PAIRING: Brother's Bestfriend! Jay x Fem! Reader

EST. Word Count: 15-24k

TAGS: non-idol, chaebols in Mexcio au! Jungwon's last name is park, Jake and Heeseung are very animated and a lot of the time show expression through emoticons!, fluff, smut (MDNI !!!!!!!!!!), a couple kys jokes

CW: vomiting, alcohol use, marking, protected sex, unprotected sex, choking, dry humping, virginity loss, marking, etc. more to come ;p

AN: This is our very first fanfic (and smut!), first teased nearly two years ago—thank you for your patience. College life kept us busy, but we finally felt now was the perfect time to share it, especially with the story set largely in Mexico. We wanted to celebrate the beauty of our motherland and push back against the way it’s been unfairly portrayed or treated—as if returning to it is a punishment. This is also our tribute to Enha, especially Jay, who deserves way more fic love. We hope you enjoy, and while shares are appreciated, please respect our work—no plagiarism. We poured our hearts into this. 💛Admin: ପଓ

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Sixth grade, 1988, when two boys were brainstorming how they were going to be rich. James and Kwangho Park bonded over 3 things, their shared surname, their hardworking nature, and their strong desire to be beyond well- off in life. The two boys simultaneously spent their childhoods and early adulthood developing the resources to become founders of one of the largest hotel franchises as well as real estate companies worldwide.

During this 15 year process, both men found wives who later gave birth to 2 children each. Park James fathered 2 amazing boys, Jay and Jungwon, while Park Kwangho had his beloved Sunghoon and treasured Y/N. Conveniently enough for the 4 children, age gaps amongst one another were practically nonexistent. The 2 older boys were both born in 2002 and the second pair in 2004.

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Sunghoon was a true momma’s boy since he would go on his figure skating trips with his mother, while Y/N was a daddy’s girl, she had been learning business tactics and the way of the office since she could remember. When Sunghoon was away, Y/N would spend all of her time with her dad or with her best friends, Jungwon and Jay.

She was so much closer to Jungwon, not just because they were born months apart from each other but they were practically betrothed since the moment Y/N took her first breath in the fine month of May. James and Kwangho thought that they could be the perfect heirs to their legacy but didn’t push anything on them since they were only children. There was never an instance where in either of their minds they felt any form of romantic attraction to one another. She was just always side-by-side to Jungwon, metaphorically and literally speaking.

Their bonding was also fueled by her slight hesitancy toward Jay, it was nothing new, she just couldn’t help but always shy away from the charming young boy. This of course did not mean they were not friends though, who else would Y/N hang out with when Sunghoon was away and Jungwon was training in taekwondo?

Jay and Y/N spent a good chunk of their early childhood in one specific conference room, room 20C. Spending their time studying with tutors, then ignoring them, by the end of the day, they ended up playing stupid little games together instead of doing their assignments. Ultimately this resulted with their dads scolding them leaving Y/N as a crying mess with Jay comforting the poor sulking girl. In spite of all the scoldings and homework, room 20-Cube was their favorite place to be together.

Although she was always with Jay, Jungwon was her extra set of limbs, the other pea in the pod, twin flame, ass crack to a fart, they befittingly clicked. They were the duo everyone wished they could have. Their siblings were nothing short of being the same way, it was like they were destined since birth to abide by the “bro-code”. Nothing could separate these four from each other or their duos.

Due to Sunghoon frequently being abroad, he always felt extra protective of Y/N since he couldn’t always be there when she needed him. That’s part of the reason he loved Jay and Jungwon so much, they looked out for her when Sunghoon couldn’t.

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SKIPPING SOME PLOT POINTS AND SCENES FOR TEASER PURPOSES

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“Wonnie this is our last summer before we surrender ourselves to university and be too busy with everything to be together again and actually do something entertaining,” Y/N starts illustrating as she’s sobered up. Jungwon was just about to give her another one of his stupid one-liners, when he noticed that she seemed genuinely upset, tears welling up in her eyes.

“You realize we’re still going to the same school, right? You act like we aren’t planning on rooming together. Or at the very least living in the same building, we’ll be together until DEATH, don’t play with me, Y/N.” He tries to not-so-lightly comfort her. “Okay loser, but I don’t wanna have a boring ass summer, I wanna bid a meaningful farewell to our childhoods,” Y/N retorts.

“We should all go on a vacation :D,” Heeseung butts in. Seeing the blank stares he got from his friends' younger siblings, he decides to read the room, “Never mind, sorry, YOU should go on vacation…I guess.. :\ ”

“No no, you might be onto something here, I think we should all go somewhere, they want a nice little vacation before school, and we’re sick and fucking tired of it, we all deserve happiness in this life,” Sunghoon said, finally out of his sorrowful mood from earlier, eyes still puffy, nose still runny, and absolutely still sniffling, but he was finally done crying at least.

“And get some bitches!” Jake follows up.

“Don’t be fucking stupid Jake, there’s a lady in the room,” Heeseung retorts.

“Barely,” Sunghoon and Jungwon say, synched up a little too well for Y/N’s mood.

“Go kill yourselves,” she jokes.

“I think it’d be great for all 6 of us to go, but where would we go?” Jay mumbles the last bit to himself, racking his brain for somewhere he hasn’t been that piques his interest.

“I hear Mexico has some hot ass bitches,” Heeseung giggles to himself biting his lip. “I- uh. I mean I hear the nature is so pretty there!!”

“Heeseung I think you really need to take a step outside,” Jay scolds.

“Yeah the nature is so nice there :D” Jake says with the dumbest smile on his face.

“You two are for real peas in a pod,” Sunghoon comments disappointedly.

“Jungwon, What do you think? I wouldn't mind going to Mexico.” Y/N murmurs to the boy next to her as she begins to sink into his side.

Wrapping a “protective” arm around her followed by, “I mean I've never been there. I don't care so much for where we go just as long as I can relax when and where I need to. I'm for it if everyone else is.”

“Mexico it is!!” Jay announces with a sinking feeling in his stomach with the sight unfolding in front of him.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･°

an: Thank you guys so much!! Please stay tuned

Sincerely, Admin: ༊·˚ and Admin: ପଓ

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simp2537 · 1 year ago

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Masterlist

��-Smut 🧨-Angst

🩹-Hurt/Comfort 🧸-Fluff

🫶🏻-Yandere

🗝️-Dark/Darkish Aleksander Morozova

Series

Moon Helios: Y/n Starkov a legendary warrior, fierce protecter and monster. Bred and broken in servitude to her saint. She knows nothing but her mission in life. To live, and die at her saint’s command. Aleksander Morozova the most powerful of the grisha, a monster. A general who has been fighting alone for hundreds of years. She hates him, he needs her. 🔥🧨🩹🧸🗝️

Series trigger warnings: Child abuse, anxiety, religious trauma, racism, manipulation, division of canon, Alina hate?, trauma, ptsd, bullying, insomnia, self-neglect, mental health issues, guilt tripping, cult theme, blood consumption, cannibalism?? Lost of murder, talks of SA in other characters, Sexual acts, future smut, predatory behavior(not from Aleks) and all other shadow and bone stuff

Act I: The Sanctuary Act l : The academy Act I : Burn Marks Act I : Where’s my epic background music Act I : Necklace for a Lifetime Act I : The Motherland Act I : A Helios is Born Act I : The Return

Act II : The Blood Helios Act II : The Fold

Series Blurs

I Have a Dream🧸🩹

Oneshots

Marking (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader) 🔥 Touch her and die (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader) 🩹🧨 Scars (Aleksander Morozova x wife reader)🧨🩹 Tension (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader)🔥

Harry Potter

Series

N/a

Oneshots

A Miracle (Mattheo Riddle x pregnant!reader) 🩹 A Fathers love (Matthe Riddle x wife!reader)🩹🧸🧨 Reunion (King!Siris Black x fem!reader)🩹🧸

John Wick

Series

Pupllis: She was a weapon from birth. Born and bred to kill for the high table. John Wick a legendary assassin who knew more fame than any. She was a gift to him, he didn’t want to keep her. As there time together passes and they learn to care for one anyone the High Table comes for them. platonic! John wick x child!fem! Reader.🩹🧨🔥🗝️🧸 (Smut is not with John but future Oc)

Chapters One

Oneshots

N/a

My Hero Academia

Series

The Final Alice: Aizawa never wanted to be a father but that plan was thrown away when he found a girl during a mission. This girl was like no child he’d ever seen before. As she grew her power and background remained a mystery. How will her life turn when she meets a charming red head with sharp teeth and an explosive blonde. platonic!Aizawa x daughter!reader, KiriBaku x fem!reader.🧨🩹🔥🧸

Help Pick A Hero Name Help Pick A Hero Name pt 2 Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven

Oneshots

N/a

Narnia

Series

From the Stars : A star fairy and the prince of the kingdom that destroyed hers. What could happen? Prince Caspian x fem!reader🧨🧨🧨🔥🩹🗝️

Sneak Peak Star Fairy Royal Bloodline Cast Act I ~ Cast Act I : The Encounter

Oneshots

Yandere Prince Caspian x reader headcannons🫶🏻 Something New (King Caspian x wife reader) 🔥

Percy Jackson

Series

N/a

Oneshots

Runaway (Percy Jackson x gn!reader)🧨🧨🩹🫶🏻🗝️ Misery is the Truest way of Love (Yandere Pereabeth x gn!reader)🫶🏻🧨🗝️ Lovers Quarrel (Pereabeth x gn!reader)🧨🩹 Stage Lovers (Yandere Perceabth x male!reader) 🧨🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🗝️

Blurs

Bottom Percy 🔥

Winx Club

Series

Fairy of Monsters : Alastaria the forgotten sister of Bloom. She slowly begins to unravel her true nature, thread by thread. How will she survive the many trials of her life. Sky of Eraklyon x Oc. Dark Winx Club fix.🩹🧨🗝️

Chapters one : Advesperascit Chapter two : Monochopsis Chapter three : Kalopsia

Oneshots

N/a

The 100

Series

Project SS: It stared as an idea. Take a dying child and infect them with the SS serum. These children would be raised in isolation, to be the future soldiers for the ark, then earth.

Most died out over time.

Not her, Not Y/n Kane. The only child of Marcus Kane and his wife Alice Kane. After her birth, born with a weak heart Alice Kane decided to give her to the scientists that were working on the project.

Forging her husband’s signature upon the document Alice Kane was sentenced to death. The deal though and Y/n Kane became the most deadly of the super soldiers.

When protecting a friend she finds herself in a cell. Then in her way to earth with the rest of the 100. How will her love continue knowing she’s just puppet to be controlled. Will she grow out of such a horrible situation and blossom with the help of her friends and loved ones. Or will she fall so deep into her created identity that there is no hope. Bellamy Blake x fem!reader.��🧨🩹🗝️

Sneak Peak Chapter One Chapter Two

Dead Boy Detectives

Series

Scylla: She’s a half-breed mutt and he’s a crow. She was trapped in hell for hundreds of years before she met a teenage ghost who helped her escape. They later met another boy who would soon die and join there friendship. The group created the Dead Boy Detective Agency. Later as their classes become more difficult pieces of her life before her friends is slowly revealed. What should happen when she met and falls deeply and helplessly in love with an enemy crow. 🔥🧨🩹

Sneak peek Cast Chapter One Chapter Two

Oneshots

Poly Crystal Palace x mermaid reader x Niko Sasaki🧸

Twilight

Series

Hunter : When Charlie and Renee’s relationship was breaking the pair thought it’d be a good idea for them to have another child. However they couldn’t convince another child. So instead they chose to adopt a two year old little girl with a strange mark on his wrist. Bella was four when she met her new little sister. At first she didn’t like Y/n. She was always taking her dad’s attention.

Till one day Bella cut her knee on the sidewalk while playing. The first person that ran to her when she was hurt was Y/n. From that day forth Bella and Y/n were inseparable.

When Y/n was five her parents realized their marriage wasn’t working. Then they realized how smart Y/n was. Then two men from another country came and told Renee that they wanted Y/n to go to a special school for extraordinary children. They paid Renee and she sent Y/n off when she was five.

What happens when Y/n turns fifteenth and goes home. Will how different Y/n is change her life. Will the new being in her home change her.🧸🩹🧨🗝️

Hunter Prologue: Last Defenders Chapter One : Reunited Chapter Two : Home Sweet Home Chapter Three : Normal School

The Last of Us

Series

A Demon in the Dark: She wasn’t normal, she was a demon. A creature made to kill, infected by the creatures who craved to destroy humanity. She couldn’t be a human. Her life had gone up in falanges when two older men in a walled up community took her in. They carried for her and the baby she carried in her arms without much question. The older smugglers that always lingered about was always in some part of her mind. Now he was back with a girl. A girl who was like her in one way. Joel Miller x Reader 🔥🧨🩹🧸🗝️

A Demon in the Dark: Cast

Request list/Requests are Open

#masterlist #aleksander morozova x reader #harry potter x reader #narnia x reader #mha x reader #kiribaku x reader #john wick x y/n #Winx x reader #percy jackson x reader #request #the 100 x reader #dead boy detectives #twilight x reader #tlou x reader

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multidimensionalguidance · 3 months ago

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Sade Sati - My Personal Insights 🪐

Hey everyone! It’s been a while since I last posted, but I'm back to give my two cents on this specific Saturn transit since it has affected me a lot. This post will be specifically for the rising and peak phases, since those are the ones I have lived through these past 5 years.

I hope this is useful for those who have their Moon in sidereal Aquarius (setting phase), Pisces (peak phase), and Aries (rising phase).

Sade Sati in Vedic Astrology is the 7.5 year transit of Saturn being placed 12th/1st/2nd from your natal Moon placement. A lot of astrologers regard this period as deeply transformational, cathartic, and a catalyst to our self development. Many people are scared of Saturn, and although this is understandable, we must all remember that every chart has a different experience.

Saturn represents the following:

Karma

Work/Profession

Isolation

Duties

Elders

Authorities

Discipline

Mystery

Delays

Longevity

Moon represents the following:

Mind

Inner world

Mother/Motherland

Nourishment

Soul

Home environment

Emotions and emotional satisfaction

Moods

Psychology

Fertility

The first part or rising phase of this transit starts when Saturn enters 12th from your Moon. During this period we start to feel the foreshadowing of Saturn’s significations, but in a subconscious and somewhat hidden away.

It felt as if all my subconscious patterns were simmering and bubbling, but they felt inaccessible and confusing. All of the topics that I kept locked and ignored for a long time couldn’t seem to stay in the usual corners of my mind. They were building steam like a pressure pot that was about to burst, but I didn’t know when it would.

Saturn kept on pushing me towards isolation which in return forced me to dig deeper into my mental health and spirituality more than ever before. During this time I was truly spiraling on a downward slope with no way of stopping it, and truthfully, I didn’t want to either. There was a strong knowing of “I must do this” that just didn’t seem to go away.

For the entirety of this two and half years I discovered aspects of myself I didn’t even know existed. My ego got thrown sideways and along with it all the relationships and situations that weren’t meant to continue on my journey. I won’t sugarcoat it in anyway, it was devastating and painful, but there was also a sense of liberation that came with it.

A feeling of freedom came over me, but the confusion remained, which is expected when we start to explore a journey/path that feels unknown. Once everything that we no longer feel aligned with crumbles, we're left with the pieces that stay true to ourselves (good and bad) along with empty spaces awaiting to be filled.

I learned how to regulate my nervous system, identify suppressed patterns, a whole lot about spirituality, and the importance of trusting my intuition. By the end of it, I was truly an improved version of myself and thought the work was half way done, which wasn't quite the reality. This was only just the beggining of it all.

When my peak phase started, which occurs when Saturn enters the sign of your Moon, that's when the real testing started. I was now aware of the things I needed to maintain, but what was suppressed now fully came to light asking "How well will you maintain what you've learned?".

Keep in mind that your Mahadasha and Saturn placement will color a lot what this experience, hence why it can be the worst or absolute best for others. In my case, a lot of the themes were related to romance, creativity, education, joy, etc.

I was able to enjoy those topics in ways in I hadn't ever before, and thinking back it probably occurred because I handled the previous stage with a lot of grace. Also, my own natal Saturn is somewhat balanced but that didn't take away the obstacles and challenges.

These next 2.5 years of peak Sade Sati heavily focuses on making us feel mentally limited or restricted, which is quite illusory since it can make us prone to seeing things from a very narrow and negative perspective. Saturn brings a lot of heaviness and loneliness to the mind, and it can feel like an uphill battle with our mental health.

Due to the mental heaviness, I started being consistent with practicing meditation, exercises, improving my career, and finances. It was the only way for me to cope with everything in a healthy manner, but in no way did it stop me from still dealing with the emotional hardships of the transit. It made me undermine my own efforts and push myself into exhaustion several times.

Overall, the struggles I had dealt with at the beggining were all up in my face and showed me that deep inside I was still trying to avoid them. Yes, I had acknowledged them, but I wasn't taking the necessary steps to fully integrate the lessons that were being presented. Did it take me a while? Yes, pretty much the whole transit, but literally weeks before Saturn moved 2H from my Moon it all just clicked.

Immediately after my peak Sade sati ended, relief has washed over me in a way I can't explain with words. Now as I'm entering the last 2.5 years of my Sade Sati, I'm not just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but feeling the warmth, the mental peace, and readiness for what's coming ahead with no fear.

I'll definitely be following up on this post once I'm completely finished with my Sade Sati! If you'd like to see more of my content, feel free to follow my Twitter account.

#astrology #astro community #astro observations #astro placements #astroblr #astro notes #astrology lessons #sidereal astrology #vedic astrology #spiritualjourney #sade sati #saturn

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deathbxnny · 1 year ago

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Yayyy, req time babyyy!

Time for another entry into the "Mother of the House of Hearth" series! (Also, since I’ve be sending you all these Arle requests the last couple req periods around, could I go by X Anon?)

Now, I first wanted to say that I loved what you did with my last req. I have had the displeasure of reading of "meh" angst in my long time as a member of the fanfic community, and you are absolutely NOT one of them, you really know how to tug at the heartstrings. You got me in death grip here 🥺.

Now, onto the request itself. The scenario here is going to be much more wholesome.... I hope 🤨

So, following the events of part 2, things have mellowed out. Kids aren't dropping dead left-right-and-center (plenty still return from missions with some gnarly injuries, but so far none have been sent to Celestia because of them), and so to hopefully take her wife's mind off the painful events of the previous months, Arle invites her to come along with to banquet being held by the Tsaritsa. She hesitates, worrying about what could transpire at the House in her absence. But with some encouragement from the children she's eventually convinced to go.

As for events at the party? Well I'll leave those details up to you mostly. One idea I had was Arlecchino stepping away for a moment to grab drinks, and returning just in time to see her wife judo-flipping some nobleman who decided to get a bit too handsy with her (+may or may not have said some things that were VERY disrespectful about Arle and the kids).

(Part one) (Part two) (Part four) (Part five)

Thank you so much for the request and your kind words, dear X Anon!! It means alot to hear that from you, especially as I'm usually very insecure when it comes to my angst writing abilities lmao. With that said, I had a different idea of my own regarding who approaches our dear reader, so I hope you'll like it, X Anon!!<33

Content: Angst ofc, female wife reader, mentions of the past Mother of the Hearth house, vague mentions of child experimentation, Dottore is his own massive warning, alcohol/drinking, threats of violence(?), sfw

Reader is female and uses she/her pronouns!!

((Not proofread))

Warm red wine with a side of cold ice. (Arlecchino x Fem!Reader)

"I must say... I didn't expect the Mother of the house of Hearth to grace us with her wonderful presence tonight... Ah, does it bring back memories..."

You say nothing initially, head half buried in your wife's white coat, face flushed from the cold and icy weather of the motherland you worked for. In your left hand, you swirled a glass of red wine elegantly, it's warmth that spread through your body with every sip mellowing out your nerves and exhausted temper. The golden band on your finger glinted in the dim lights of the extravagant party inside the ballroom, one you had attempted to escape by exiting to the grand balconies of the palace alone.

But akin to a shadow that immediately appears in the absence of light blocked by your form, he too found his place next to you slyly. Always the one to wait for the right moment, he now stands next to you with a knowing and cruel smile.

Your somber gaze twitches at his words, but that's the most you'll give him.

"It is... a pleasure to see you again as well, Doctor."

Your words were free from any malice or disdain, yet you refused to look at him as you spoke, a blatant sign that his presence perhaps bothered you after all. His sharp grin widened, his hand reaching out to hold onto the railing as he let out a theatrically deep sigh. "I must say, this... event is quite dreary, no? Certainly not a suitable place for a woman like you." "Do you view me as weak, Doctor?" "Struck a nerve?" You bit your tongue, eyes closing in hopes of him just simply disappearing once you reopened them. But it was futile.

You knew what he was doing, the memory of a long forgotten and pushed away past with you and your wife's deceased "Mother" and her atrocities forever burned in the forefront of your mind. It didn't matter how many years went by. You'll forever remember the screams of your fellow peers, as they were dragged away by the Fatui agents to their assured doom at the Doctors hands.

No one ever spoke of it, perhaps out of fear or disbelief of it being true and them being next. But ultimately... you were all the truth was hard to hide, when the man himself often voiced his irritation to the deal being off to you, the new Mother of the house. One so different from the old one that he fancied a little more.

You took a sip of your wine, attempting to wash away the memories with another wave of warmth, as you lightly cursed your wife's name for bringing you here. Staying home would've been alot more preferable, and usually, you'd do exactly that, never the type to leave your children unattended for long. But after some convincing from your dearest young one's, you now found yourself in this less enjoyable predicament, your wife having been swept away by the crowd of Fatui pioneers and Harbinger colleagues alike.

You couldn't fully blame her, however, not when the monster disguised in human flesh was the main reason for tonight's plight in the first place. You felt sick when you glanced up at him at last.

"Not at all... it was simply a question." You couldn't see his eyes from beyond the mask, but you could imagine the mischievous glint in them. And you knew better to think that he was just here for some small talk. "What is it you want, Doctor? The Knave will be displeased at your presence near me." You manage out, trying to keep your voice steady to hide how uncomfortable you suddenly felt.

"Ah, my apologies, perhaps I should be more forward then?" He leans forward a little, near caging you into the corner you were leaning against in-between the wall and balcony railing. Your fingers gripped your glass of wine, eyes quick to find the moon and icy glaciers in the distance.

"I'd like to reform our past alliance. Surely, you know what I'm speaking of?" "Hardly." "You're a terrible liar, Mother (Y/N)." Your eyes were sharp when they snapped towards him in warning. You hated the way he said your name and title so mockingly. It was as though he was treating you like a foolish little girl that was playing pretend. His request was more like a clear demand in a fight he had already lost. The arrogance would've been amusing, if you didn't feel ill.

"Besides, I don't think you realize the true benefits of it. The children of your house are strong... until they aren't. To which they either end up dead or just, well, useless." He was trying to enrage you, break the perfect walls you have built up over the years, demolish the perfect and new image you had given the title "Mother". And for what? Perhaps some petty revenge against your wife for ruining his fun.

What a child.

"Non of my children are useless." "Oh but that just isn't factually true! And whilst the deaths have been going down over the past few months... I wonder how many are injured and stay injured after a failed mission. They can't perform their duties anymore and then what? They laze around and take up space in your perfect home just like back then-" "-Everyone has value in the house no matter what-" He ignores you, waving his hand dismissively with a grin so wide that it was beginning to unsettle you. But it did little to quell the near blinding rage that burned through you the more he spoke.

"-Not to mention, aren't you running out of space in that little, dreary graveyard of yours? It was truly overcrowded when I visited recently. Ah, the past Knave was alot more thoughtful of her resources... You should be more like her-" The silence that followed the sound of red wine splashing against his white coat and dress shirt was near deafening.

Your eyes were blown wide, filled with frustrated tears despite your better judgment, and your breath came our in labored puffs of air. Your hand shook, the glass nearly slipping out of your fingers. "You... how dare you... I..." You felt faint and sick, the realisation that a man like him had dared to take a step into your children's resting place, feeling like the ultimate slap to the face. And when you stumbled back, weak relief filled you at a familiar hand resting on your hip.

"I think it's time for you to take your leave, Doctor. I will let you live for your transgressions against my wife onlt for the sole reason that I do not wish to cause more of a disturbance than your rather unpleasant existence already has tonight." Arlecchino stood tall and proud in her extravagant suit behind you, her eyes glowing in the dim lights of the moon. The rage in them was scorching, nothing compared to yours, yet it never surfaced, unable to do so due to her rather unique condition and circumstances.

"My, my, what a shame... she has quite the temper. It was all in good fun, you know?" He chuckled, seemingly having lost all interest in entertaining your suffering already as he calmly walked away. Not even slightly bothered by the wine that dripped down his form.

You said nothing to your wife for a moment, your eyes closing to hide the angry and frustrated tears. "... Whatever he said does not matter. He is simply looking for entertainment... and I'm sorry." Her free hand reached up to push your hair out of your face with that gentle look she always had only for you. Turning around in her hold, you hid your face in her neck, so desperate to cling onto the small dignity you still did have left in hopes of appearing strong for her again. But unbeknownst to you, she also felt disturbed at her lack of quickness when it comes to aiding you. She should've known better than to just leave you alone.

"Can we go home? I want to go back to my children, Peruere. Even if Lyney is in charge... He's still too young..." As always, you chose to just retain your pride after a moment of solace in her arms and forget what happened. You stood straighter again, your usual somber look filled with elegance and grace she always admired.

Her eyes found your empty wine glass with amusement. "No more wine then?" She asked as she led you back into the palace to take your leave. Your nose wrinkled at her poor attempt at a joke, yet the weak and exhausted ghost of a smile still reached your lips. Shaking your head, you leaned your head against her shoulder as you walked, uncaring of the looks you got, hands tightly intertwined under the lavish furr of your coats.

"No... No more wine."

#genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #arlechinno genshin #genshin arlecchino x reader #arlecchino x reader #arlecchino x you #alrecchino #genshin arlecchino #arlecchino

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scavengerssuccotash · 1 year ago

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"Clint did what?!"

Phil sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “He punched the Russian ambassador.”

Fury twists to look at Natasha who sits primly in Phil’s office chair. She doesn’t look up from where she shapes her nails with a black nail file.

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t ask him too.” Natasha says, innocently.

Fury places his hands on his hips and glares. “Dare I ask what he did to deserve that? I sent you two to warm relations, not set them back fifty years!”

Natasha merely raises an eyebrow before fanning out her fingers, inspecting the almond shape of her nails. Frustrated Fury turns his one eyed glare back onto Phil.

“Well?”

Phil rubs a hand over his mouth, a strange expression crossing over his features. “It seems the Russian Ambassador called Agent Romanoff a…”

“A prostitute.” Natasha cuts in dryly, still filling away at her nails. “To which I reminded him, quite nicely I might add that, that compensation for my services might be looked at favorably should my dear motherland feel so inclined to remedy the past. Mr. Volkov agreed.”

Fury shakes his head. “Agent Romanoff, while it’s an unfortunate turn of phrase you can’t—“

Finally she rises from her chair and crosses her arms. “I don’t have a problem with sex work, Director Fury.”

“Then why—“

Natasha rolls her shoulders, nonchalantly. “Clint thought the suggested sum was low.”

“How much was it?” Fury asks.

Natasha gives him a feral grin. “1.2.”

Fury stares up at the ceiling, wondering not for the first time how the hell he had found himself with Strike Team Delta as Shields golden goose when they act like this. “I’ll go report to the council—“

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that just yet, Director.”

Natasha pats him on the shoulder before handing off her phone. There on the screen is a bank account with 2.5 million. Fury’s mouth drops open in surprise but before he can say anything a rapid succession of honks alert them. Fury and Phil both race to the window and peer out. There in SHIELD’s parking lot, haphazardly parked, was a purple and black 2014 Bugatti.

“Mr. Volkov also offered his car to compensate for the bruised state of Agent Barton’s left hand. In return he hopes for a lighter tariffs and lifted sanctions. I told him we would discuss.” Natasha explains behind them, a touch of pride in her raspy voice. Then she claps her hands together, bringing both of their attention back to her. "Now, if that is all gentlemen I have plans for the rest of my evening!"

And with that Natasha Romanoff departs, grinning wildly. She goes so far as to wiggle her fingers at them through the window in a goodbye wave.

Director Fury can only watch in stunned silence until she skips out of sight. "Did...did Strike Team Delta just extort 2.5 million and Bugatti out of a foreign national, Phil?"

Phil blinks, shocked. "I-I think so!"

“What the hell am I supposed to tell The Council?"

“Oh, that is far above my pay grade sir, but I would suggest being proactive in giving them a promotion.” Phil comments.

Thank you for sending me prompts my dear! @firlalaith I do so hope you enjoy a badass moment from our precious duo.

#ask me #clint barton #hawkeye #clintasha #natasha romanoff #black widow #Strike team delta #Director Fury #Phil Coulson

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woodface · 3 months ago

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I've been rewatching Motherland: Fort Salem because sometimes you just need to see Tally thirst after General Alder... and well because Alder continues to be one of the most intriguing characters in recent media. She gets to be a hero and a villain all at once, and while she makes a lot of dubious choices, there is just a part of me that understands why and wants to excuse her for it all.

She is so pivotal to the series, even when she is in the background in the first season, this very world is what it is because of her choices. She saved and doomed witches in the same breath. She made them a home, and protected them, while putting all their lives in the line of fire. Anyway, before I get too side tracked...

It struck me on this rewatch just how desperate Alder gets in S2. I don't remember noticing it as acutely before just how much she starts to crumble the moment Wade makes it clear she will take away her army from her - a line she repeatedly throws around as a reminder to anyone trying to oppose her. The first crack in the armour is Anacostia, her choice to disobey orders and play into Petra's hand. The way we see her trembling and close to breaking at this betrayal. S2 Alder is isolated and has her back up against the wall. Petra Bellweather has stopped hiding her ambitions, pushing at every turn to get rid of Alder, and her one ally seems to agree.

And then there is Tally who keeps pushing, who was so intimately connected to her and who she felt genuine affection for, but even she who was inside her mind only came out seeing the worst of her. S2 Alder is held down by her own decisions. Years of needing to compromise at every turn, to see the worst of humanity and to push through it for her witches whose faith she sealed along with her own. Her warning to Petra when she is stripped of her position is a visceral one. Petra does not know what she is taking on at all, and it shows instantly as everything starts falling apart around them the moment Alder is gone.

It's a curious thing she mentions later to Petra that the accords are more than words, and the accusation that Alder knew a way around them regardless. Would she have been able to do more? Stop more of Silver's manipulations even if she had to Push or Puppet to do it? Would anyone have blamed her then if she had done so or would they have seen that yes, stopping Silver was worth it. Stopping Wade was worth it in Sarah's mind too because they were taking her witches from her. Her army - how many times does she repeat that during this season? Petra accuses her of having lost her humanity, but I don't think she ever did. I do think she lost her connections to humanity. So many generations of witches she has watched die or grow old and be replaced, so many battles and each of them worse, each of them making it a little easier to justify her actions. Until that ultimate moment where she felt her control slipping, where those around her only saw the worst of each choice without seeing the patterns she could see forming. The return of the Camarilla who would once more take everything she held dear and seek to destroy all witches like they had destroyed her family and her coven before, Wade's persistence that Alder had to go when Alder more than anything felt that her work was not done and Petra who she saw as unprepared to take on the weight that Alder had carried for centuries.

It makes it all the more striking when the execution scene comes around. Alder taking up the scourge to condemn one more witch. A witch who brought them all to the brink, but whose motivations were entirely her fault. The fact that she is the one to take this action rather than Petra who was about to take over, only to then have Tally Craven stand up against her. To have the witches' army that was hers mere moments ago move against her.

There is such desperation in that moment when you see her realise how many she would have to hurt to follow these orders that she is bound to. Wade pushing her even then when these young soldiers are putting their lives on the line and Alder's desperation in that moment. I love that it's Anacostia who breaks the moment, who moves forward and gives Sarah permission to stop and walk away. Permission that centuries of following orders and walking that line could never have given her. Seeing her realise that even if she couldn't be there anymore, then perhaps she had left this army strong enough to go on without her anyway. I feel like there is pride there as much as there is heartache, all of it granted with a touch to the shoulders from the one witch she saw as her own daughter. Tally's look as Alder walks away speaks volumes as well, the moment she realises what she has done only for the world to fall apart. Her goodbye to Alder in the next episode shows it so much, giving Alder permission to put down her burdens and I don't think anyone ever told her that. She has gotten used to being revered and loathed at once, to have people judge her but rarely to have them sympathise with her. You see it even more as Nicte keeps pushing at Tally, telling her the old crone had to go while Tally is more and more realising that Alder going was like a dam breaking. And we get to see a different Alder after that, once the moment is gone and she has lost control. The Alder who steps up to Petra and says "how can I help", who never resents her the title of General and only gives her deference because she knows the weight of it, and maybe it hurts because it isn't her army anymore, but in a way... it will always be. It says enough how much hope she brings when she shows up at Fort Salem and the witches see her and even Petra is strengthened by her there. She might not be their General anymore, but she still is their hope and their strength. It echoes in her conversation with Khalida later on when she talks about how the cabin she grew up in was the last time she felt safe and it was the last time she felt free to simply be. I needed to make sure we lived. And Sarah Alder first meant her sister, but when she lost her as well, it became all witches. She became a leader not because she was born into it, but because no one else would fight for them so she did. And any time she failed and lost again, she got up and fought harder. She sang The Mother into being, their ultimate salvation (even if I find the resolution kinda meh). There's one more bit of her conversation with Khalida that stands out though: These moments could have destroyed us, but they did not. And we need not endure this pain alone, we are stronger together. It's sad to think that for good chunks of her time, Alder was alone. When her sister was murdered and she signed the accords. When her coven was taken, and she was alone again, but she kept going. She built an army around her, but how much was she alone in her pain? I think she was at the end there, a loneliness of her own making by pushing people away and a loneliness that grew when she was surrounded by those who resented her decisions (rightly so on many occasions), and yet... She was a mother to Anacostia and she saw something in M and gave them a place to call home. Petra is so very wrong when she tells Sarah that she lost her humanity, but she isn't wrong that Alder might be on her way of losing the connections that let her feel that humanity so keenly. Alder made mistakes, but it was her humanity that pushed her as far as it did and that kept her going, and watching her be able to embrace it fully again in S3 is so fascinating because it is a very different Alder there who looks at Tally and holds her when she worried for Raelle, and it a softer Alder who finally can connect with Khalida rather than be at odds at her, because she finally has time to slow down and not focus on the bigger picture she was trying to reach.

#sarah alder #general alder #motherland fort salem #metabending #i don't know how coherent that was #but i have so many feels #and no one to gush about it to #i just love this complex flawed character #and her ridiculous cheekbones #also i need all the talder fics to tide me over now #sorry if that was too long #talder

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primeofprimes115 · 10 months ago

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A Long Awaited Dance - (Bombshell) Supergirl x Male Reader

Note: Fluff 🥰

Based from the DC Bombshells Universe - Earth-24

Second of September 1945... The War had officially ended on all fronts, while the war between Germany and Britain ended in May fourth of the same year... The war on the rest of the countries officially ended on the second of September.

The Bombshells played a big part on the front, starting from 1940 during the war, the Bombshells were created and put together by Amanda Waller, an expert pilot, leader and the best at military protocol.

The Bombshells went all around the world at each time, Wonder Woman went to Berlin to make the Reich surrender, with all the events that transpired before hand, the world being invaded by strange forces on that other hand, it was all stopped in the end.

Though it came with a cost of Power Girl's and Superman's life, cloned from Supergirl's DNA in 1942, their sacrifices brought a victory that brought peace finally after six years. A victory sweeter than strawberries.

Kara Starikov had lost a lot during this war, Kortni; her sister, her family, and deemed a traitor by her own country; Soviet Russia. She vowed to protect the Motherland regardless, a promise she still kept when it was attacked eventually, she was raised in Soviet Russia, she grieved the loss of Power Girl and Superman but their memory would live on through her, she vowed it so.

Her sister Kortni aka Stargirl had sacrificed herself in 1941 within London, Britain where the bombings were taking place, a creature of pure power had threatened the entire city and world, the Bombshells soon responded to this threat. Kara wanted to sacrifice herself after she thought she was a danger to the world were she still alive, now deemed a traitor to Soviet Russia, her homeland, the only home and country she grew up in.

She knew she was special, her parents told her she came from the stars one night, within a strange mechanism like vehicle, she was their biological daughter, but they were her parents, they raised her alongside Kortni.

Returning from Russia, she flew all the way back to the US, to meet someone she had fallen in love with back in 1942, a special unit soldier that took unprecedented risks in his missions against the Axis Powers, a young man who travelled far and wide to assist the Allies, his name was Y/N L/N, his father served in WWII as a Sergeant, who unfortunately died in 1944 during the Allied Retaking of France, months after D-Day.

Kara was there for him when he grieved for the loss of his father, as he did when she lost her parents in 1942, during a altercation which they sacrificed their lives with the help of Swamp Thing to contain a threat that is still contained to this day, the Bombshells would answer to this Doomsday aka Faora-Ul if she were to escape one day and finish what was started in Leningrad.

Y/N was injured in March 6th, 1945, when a covert mission went wrong, resulted in him getting caught and captured by the Reich.

When word got out of Y/N's mission gone wrong, Supergirl went out of jurisdiction to find and bring the love of her life back from the front, alive. Flying out with a blaze of fury and determination to rescue him from the Germans, before eventually finding him, dismantling the Germans that had captured and tortured him for information, Y/N had bruises, cuts and had dried up blood all over him. He was malnourished too.

He remembered being relieved when Kara came to rescue him, she hadn't killed the Germans holding him prisoner but he swore she might've, based on how in bad shape he was, it was surprising he hadn't broke just yet. All he heard was shouting, shooting and screaming, Germans being thrown and punched while bullets bounced off her.

He remembered looking into the dark, seeing a pair of red glowing eyes approaching him before shutting off, returning to normal once Supergirl came into view, her red cape-like-scarf bundled-in-two flowing behind her like her skirt as she rushed up to him. Her soothing worried voice soon cutting him free and flying him out that day... All the way back to the US where he could be treated for his injuries.

He mumbled one word that day during the flight back to his country for medical care. And again said it once he awoke on the date, eighth of July, 1945 after being in a coma for months. Kara would make frequent visits to check on him and tell him about everything that was going on.

"Printessa" a word in Russian which meant Princess to her, it was a word he'd usually call her, other than "Solnyshko" for when they first met. Y/N was fluent in Russian and a few other languages, useful for infiltration and so fourth. The moment was tear-jerking for her, hearing his first word after being in a coma for months, his eyes had began to open following this while she hugged and cried happily in his shoulder, all that happened next was her sleeping with her head resting on his chest in the medical bay.

As of currently however, Supergirl flown herself back to see Y/N, the young man she fell in love with back in 1942. It had been a day since the war ended, Y/N was almost back to full health but still recovering, he wasn't clear for field work during the final days of the war like he hoped he would, which was nothing but unfortunate for himself.

In the home he was driven back to, his mother's home, Y/N sat on the chair, writing a letter to his friends who were still in the army, a newspaper on the table beside him, the big obvious title claiming that "THE WAR IS OVER", published from the Daily Planet in Metropolis.

Kara Starikov, Supergirl, thought about potentially being Metropolis's protector, it was a mere mention that sprang across his mind once his eyes laid upon the newspaper that was labelled by the Daily Planet. She had been thinking very hard about it since then, knowing she can't ever fully return to Soviet Russia, to Moscow, but she'd protect it as a watchful angel.

Soon enough after placing down his fountain pen and finishing writing the letter, he looked out to his window to see Supergirl landing just a few steps away from the door, before her eyes drifted to the window itself.

A big toothy smile grew upon her face while his came out as a smirk, she soon approached the door and knocked on it, knowing Y/N's mother was inside.

Kara couldn't keep her eyes off him after knocking on the door gently, the wind picking up her long, wavy blonde hair, the double sided scarf that acted as a cape billowing behind her along with her skirt, her big teething smile teasing him through the window.

Y/N couldn't either, her smile always seemed to distract him, let alone her face and beauty, she was the prettiest girl he had ever met, he hadn't known how pretty Russian girls really were until his eyes fell upon her in 1942, when he was given orders by the British to eliminate Dr. Hugo Strange who was in Leningrad at the time.

He ran into a few misfits during his mission, most notably Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Reaper aka Andrea Gruenwald and a Newspaper Girl named Eloisa Lane aka Lois Lane for short, who worked for the Daily Planet.

It turned out that Reaper wanted revenge on Hugo Strange for what he's done to her and Y/N's covert mission was to kill Strange, so the two worked together, with Lois tagging along, though Y/N had tried to convince her not to come with, since she was a civilian, however... Lois was pretty helpful and smart, convincing him to allow her to tag along... For now,

Eventually, he'd meet Kara Starikov aka Supergirl after he sabotaged Strange's security with Reaper's help, with Kara convincing Power Girl to turn against Strange, rescuing Steve Trevor next who was also captured besides Kara.

At a moments notice? When Y/N made himself known with helping Lois Lane out of the hidden window within the wall they climbed through, mentioning they were responsible for the power shortage in Strange's security.

He fell in love...

Butterflies went through his stomach at a moments notice of her making eye contact with him, he felt his face heat up in that moment, he had heard about the Soviet's having a 'Superweapon' to be used for the War... But he didn't expect it to be a person, let alone... A beautiful young woman.

Y/N solely remembered that day... Where his life soon changed forever afterwards.

______________________________________________________________

[Flashback |Soviet Russia, Leningrad, 1942 | Strange's Laboratory]

"I.. Wow... Uh" Y/N looked at her speechless, while helping Lois out of the hidden window in the wall, noticing him looking at the 'Superweapon'. "Well... Originally we weren't meant to rescue you, I had no idea the weapon would be... A you" he rubbed the back of his neck, Lois helped Andrea out from the window in response, smirking away at the covert soldier's awkwardness. "I suppose it was a change of plans".

Y/N soon applauded the young woman's words toward the clone she was fighting, the things she made her realize, the woman soon softly smiled in his direction as he approached her, standing just slightly taller than her

"I'm... Uh..." Y/N found himself hesitant to even say his own name, though he went under the alias; Cobra, his name was mostly classified amongst all military personnel, knowing this... 'Superweapon' came from the Soviet Union, he felt... Sick about the fact the Soviets were wanting to use this young woman as a weapon due to her power.

"Have you forgotten your name?" the young woman giggled softly, still keeping her eyes on him, a light tint of pink rushed across his cheeks as he laughed softly. Steve Trevor took notice of this and stayed back for now, watching as this went down.

"No, no. It's Y/N... Y/N L/N" he brought his hand out and soon... She took it to shake it.

"And my name is Kara Starikov" she announced to him in her Russian accent, smiling at him as she shook his hand gently and respectively.

"But they call her..." Steve Trevor stepped into the conversation. "'Supergirl'" he announced to him, Kara still couldn't keep her eyes off him as he did the same, her warm smile taking shape as she blinked softly and slowly.

"Supergirl?" he questioned, a tinted smile appearing on the young man's face towards Kara.

"The Motherland originally called me that" her Russian nature explained it all, making him nod at her answer.

Y/N soon thought to himself, liking the name they had for her, though she admitted she never came up with the name. It was Russia that named her that "So... You're apart of the Bombshells, right? I heard about that group making a lot of moves recently, helping out with the war effort".

"{Yes}, I'm apart of the Bombshells, I defected the Communist Party, along with..." pain arose in her voice, before Power Girl came crashing in, ending the conversation... For now that was.

________________________________________________________________________________

[Present Day | US, West Virginia, 1945 | L/N American Household]

Y/N daydreamed on that day of being carried out by Kara when they first met, after she was able to fly again, dealing with the fact she lost her sister and as much as it pained her, she pushed on... In Kortni's name and love. Eventually telling him of the loss she recently suffered, about the fact the Communist Party deemed her a traitor since she wouldn't kill innocent lives in the name of the Soviet Union.

She felt her country was corrupt, she may love Russia as a country, but not the people in charge.

Soon enough, he could hear the front door opening with Kara joining her hands together in front of her.

"Hello Mrs. L/N, I... I'm here to see your son, Y/N" she hadn't met his mother yet, but he could see she was being awkward a little, not expecting to meet his mother without a proper introduction.

"Oh, you're the girl he told me about. Come in, come in!" his mother invited her in, happy to finally meet her. "Y/N!! Your woman is here!" the older woman shouted for her son in her London accent. As much as it felt embarrassing to hear her tell him about Kara's arrival. He felt his face heating up with embarrassment from the announcement alone.

His mother was told about Kara Starikov after he came home, though he was supposed to come back to check on her the year father was killed in the line of duty, they had grieved their loses after he came home to recover from being off the field.

"Might I say that you look absolutely gorgeous, young woman. My son must be lucky to have met you" Helen L/N's voice bloomed through the house, with the door in Y/N's room slightly opened, the music playing on his phonograph at a lower level as he was writing earlier.

"Oh, [thank you], but I thought I was lucky to have met him?" Kara replied, Helen looked at her funny however, not knowing what word she meant earlier as Kara realized what she said. "Oh, sorry! My mistake on that part, I-I said thank you in Russian. I'm sure he told you I was raised in the Motherland" her voice was closer to the door than it was earlier after being invited in.

"The Russian accent says it all, it's okay, Ms. Starikov" Helen nodded with a smile. "He's in there, writing. I'm sure he probably expected you".

"Oh, I'm sure he does" the Russian Bombshell smirked before Helen walked off back into the living room, to continue knitting. Kara on the other hand soon pushed the door open, seeing Y/N already stood up and his eyes falling on her.

"Kara, my Printessa" he smiled brightly, calling her by his many nicknames for her. the Bombshell that had rescued him on multiple occasions, especially the one where he was on the verge of death months back.

"Dorogoy!" a nickname (means Sweetheart in English) she'd call him time to time, she sped into his arms and planted her lips on his, with papers flying all about from his desk after she super sped up to him with a hug and kiss in mind.

Soon his arms wrapped around her waist as hers sprang around his upper back, her sleeve-gloved hands feeling and stroking the back of his head, her fingers running against his hair as he brings his arms up to her curly, long, blonde hair that drove down behind her and parted to the right hand side of her face, where his hands now felt the curls of her hair as their kiss continued.

"Mmm" a soft moan escaped Supergirl's throat after she felt Y/N tapped where her skin was showing from the shoulders and upper back twice, since she wore a corset for her overall attire as she's been wearing since 1940. "I missed you" her Russian accent whispered softly to him, an accent he missed hearing from the last few weeks since she last came to visit, now within the home where he mostly grew up in after moving her when he was young.

"So did I, Supergirl... So did I" he smiled as their foreheads gently collided, with their smiles brighter as the sun shining in the morning. "I heard the war is over, we won" Y/N soon brought up, Kara nodded with a hum before kissing him again for a few seconds, then both parties looked toward the newspaper lying on the floor, no thanks to Kara super speeding into the man's arms.

Kara unwrapped her arms from Y/N as he did the same, the Bombshell knelt down and picked up the newspaper with a 'oops' expression on her face, noticing the papers that had been flown around the place. Soon placing the newspaper on the table Y/N was working on earlier.

"I think I caused this?" she made it known to him as he chuckled about it, seeing the expression on her face.

"It's alright, Kara" he grabbed her by the hand gently with a consoling touch. "It's adorable when you... Do that fast speeding thing" he looked into her eyes, smiling right at her.

"If you say so" she batted her eyes toward him before floating off the ground to be a little taller than him, making him look up at her just a little which made him chuckle.

"For some reason my dear? I like it when you do that" he smiled right up at her before being pulled into a loving kiss that lasted for as long as he could take it, tapping her shoulder lightly when he needed some air after their lips continued to smack softly off each other for a minute.

"And for some reason, my Sakharok" the Bombshell pulled her lips back from his just slightly, whispering to him. "I knew you did, you would've said something already if you hadn't liked it" Kara's English sounded so surprisingly perfect still, for someone who was raised in Russia, she sure knew how to speak English fluently, even when she met him for the first time in 1942, though she's spoken English before hand, she was a quick learner.

Only Russian thing there when speaking English was her Russian accent, which Y/N found attractive at best. The two continued locking eyes as Y/N attentionally rocked side to side slightly to the sound of the music playing on the phonograph, the volume lowered down still.

"I... Heard what happened, the invaders and all that" Y/N then brought up after the two exchanged looks and smiles. The Kryptonian woman's expression soon turned serious a little, knowing what he was going to ask.

"Did-"

"They died..." Kara interrupted abruptly, as Y/N's expression soon turned into shock.

"Kara..." he called her by name, as she looked away in a little bit of pain. "Power Girl and...".

"[Yes, they did]" she answered in Russian. "I brought their bodies back from space. Before she left, she told me not to grieve much, it was hers and Kal-El's choice, they did it for the Motherland" she then continued with her word, before thinking to herself, wanting to correct herself from what she said. "No, for the world, for Earth... For us".

"They were... A good bunch of people, great in the Circus as well" he noted, and Kara hummed in agreement.

"I'm going to miss their acts" Supergirl slightly smiled, looking into Y/N's eyes next before her boots made contact with the ground. "Their memory will live through me, as does Kortni's and my family's" she smiled at that fact.

"And mine? When my time eventually comes?" Y/N smirked as the Russian Bombshell looked at him with a frown.

"Don't say that you {Idiot!}" Supergirl pouted as Y/N smiled and laughed softly. "I don't get your humor sometimes, that's something very serious".

"Oh you're so pretty when you're all serious" he flirted. "It's such a gas" he smiled soon after again, making her roll her eyes and smiling back at him.

"And your mother said you were lucky to have me, I think I now see why" Kara soon replied, not thinking twice to break eye contact.

"I heard, and she's right in a way" Y/N nodded, agreeing with that statement. "I'm extremely lucky to have you, you've saved me plenty of times, helped me, rescued me months ago, and in return I've done the same. I'm lucky to have met a woman like you, and even luckier to be romantically involved with you for the last three years since we met. On that topic..." he stopped for a moment to smile at himself, it's been three years since they've been in a relationship. "I love you, Kara Starikov, Supergirl"

"I love you too, Y/N L/N, {Cobra}" she said back to him with a teething smile, before the next song played on the Phonograph while the two kept their smiles toward each other and their hands intertwined. The fabric of Kara's sleeved-gloves caressing his hands gently and soothingly.

youtube

A jazz type of song, one that a dance worked best with, a song that felt perfect for the two of them, at least that's what Y/N thought soon as it came on. He began to rock side to side again slightly, with Kara taking notice again, laughing softly at his movements as Kara let go of his hands so he could walk over to the phonograph.

The young man decided to turn up the volume a little, so it's at a optimal sound, enough to hear it properly.

"Remember when I promised you a dance?" he asked her, turning around to face her while leaning on the table where the phonograph was.

"Two years ago" she remembered. "I remember clear as day" she began to smile, she had the idea of dancing, the time she was dancing at the Ball Event in the train from Istanbul to Leningrad back in 1942 with Steve Trevor.

"Well... Since the war is over... And I'm able to move again..." he began to smirk. Hinting at the promise he gave her in 1943, which they never got the chance to do so. "May I have this dance?" he asked politely with Kara outstretching her arms and hands out to him.

"I'd be happy to dance with you!" she smiled, her hands out, reaching for his. She had waited so long to hear him ask the question. "I've been wondering when you'd ask" she exclaimed, laughing softly at him as he approached and took both her hands.

The next thing, she brought him toward her completely in a space where they could move more freely in his room, embracing one another with Kara's left arm wrapped around his back, the other holding his hand, his fingers intertwined with her sleeved-gloves that were fingerless.

Y/N's arm wrapped around her waist while the other was around her back, his fingers locked with her own other hand. The Supergirl and the Cobra slowly dancing to the rhythm of the music.

"How long I've waited for this" Y/N cooed to his lover, seeing a big smile grow on her face soon after he whispered to her, their eyes blinking slowly with a love behind it.

"All you had to do was ask, and I waited patiently... For you" she whispered back, her Russian thick Russian accent making her sound more attractive by the minute, every time he heard her speak, it was like he fell in love all over and over again, especially when she whispered.

Silence fell between them as they danced in the one spot slowly to the rhythm of the song, their eyes locked onto each other as they found themselves lost in their worlds together, a kiss soon followed up with it deepening like that one night back in 1944 when the two done the deed on a quiet night after seeing each other once again. Kara remembered that moment very well, the night she lost her virginity, and she felt good after it.

And so did Y/N...

"And who thought an American and a Russian couldn't go well together?" he whispered back to her, making her lightly giggle at his question. Her ocean like eyes not daring to look away from his eyes.

"That's such a stupid question" she giggled a little more as Y/N then twirled her around, spinning her in a slow, smooth moment. Kara began to delight herself in this dance with the woman in the song singing. Let alone... Delighting herself more with Y/N taking the lead.

"Yeah, I guess it is" he rolled his eyes playfully, spinning her around again in the same smooth manner, slow and gentle, Kara's scarf-like-cape and skirt billowed around with the smooth turn as Y/N caught her next.

Supergirl then began to smirk, intertwining her hand with his free hand once again and pulled him close to her body with a little kiss on his lips. The little kiss ended with Y/N giving Kara a surprised look before he smiled. Impressed by the sudden move.

"Good move, very romantic".

"That was good?"

"Yeah, it was a good move, the kiss made it way better" he praised her again.

Kara's blue eyes glistened toward his, like the ocean on a beach, swaying and moving. Her smile bright as the sun, her face prettier than a garden of flowers, her hair that would wave like a golden cape, she was perfect in his eyes. Though she'd highly disagree on that.

The music had drawn the attention of Helen L/N, wondering why the sudden music being turned up earlier, only to see both her son and his woman, Kara Starikov, Supergirl, dancing slowly.

Helen soon smiled at the two through the gap in the door after Kara slightly closed it earlier after entering, Helen wished Y/N's dad were still here to see this, Y/N had his father's looks after all, him dancing with Kara.

The older woman soon left the two alone without interruption, letting them delight in the dance as Y/N thought of something to talk about while their dance continued.

"Y'know... I do wonder what's next in store for us, what's next for us in the future" he brought up to her attention. "I've always wondered about it".

"I don't know, but whatever it is... We'll face it together" she said with a smile.

"Aren't you... Kinda scared?" he asks her with a curious look.

"I mean, it's okay to be scared, you never know what's going to happen" she said wisely. "Steve told me that... Before he...".

Y/N nodded his head, knowing what happened to Steve Trevor, how he died a hero. It was a hard-struck blow to the Allies and Bombshells alike.

"Yeah... I get where you're coming from" he smiled through the pain of loss, Steve Trevor was a good soul, a wise man, one that would be honored as time goes by. "A lot of good people gone, price of war".

"How long do you think that will last?" Kara brought up. "The Great War was only... Twenty-seven years ago, I came to know about the Great War when I learned how the Motherland is today, how it was born" Kara expressed her worries, showing concern for the world itself. "How long until peace is no more?".

"I... Don't think we should worry about that right now" he expressed, freeing his hand from her to caress her face, feeling how soft it was. "Whatever happens, my dear Solnyshko, I will always stick by your side, no matter what happens, nothing is going to tear us apart from each other" he vowed, soon making her smile softly once again.

"{Good}" she said in Russian, before pulling her face closer to his. "As long as we're together" she whispered in his ear, giving him a little wink after pulling back. Their dancing continued slowly with the rhythm.

"On that note..." he spun her around slowly and smoothly again, catching her before spinning her around, she stepped in and lightly pressed herself against his body, dancing to the song slowly with a delighted demeanor. "You still thinking on returning to Moscow?" he asked a good question, one he's still waiting for her answer on as she thought about it.

"Yes... I think it could be for the best... For now at least, but... I don't know if..." she was about to mention the tension between the US and USSR that could happen, regarding the end of the war, she had overheard talks about it all with her super hearing.

A part of herself did not want to be propaganda again, or to be used as a weapon against anyone for that matter alone, she still hasn't forgotten what the Russian leadership tried to make her and Kortni do to innocent Russians back in 1940, leading to them fleeing the country with their mother but failed to rescue their father in time, since he got captured and placed into the Gulag afterwards,

But again... Russia was her country, it was her homeland, perhaps she could be a watchful angel over Russia, protecting it from any form of criminals or something else entirely, to keep the citizens safe.

"If something were to happen... Then... They'd want to use me as a weapon like they tried to do to me and Kortni, they could even-".

"If it does happen, Kara? We can just... Leave" he interrupted her, trying to keep her from worrying too much. "We don't have to get involved... Unless it's a very, very serious matter, like another destructive war from happening" he then made a mental note to himself and her.

"Maybe..." she said with a worried look still. "But run or fly away again?" she asked.

"I know it sounds... Discreet and dumb, I get that. But... I want to build a life with you also, it's an idea to have backups if things turn... Sour, if you understand what I mean" Kara soon nodded her head, turning slowly and rocking side to side with him slowly as they danced in the one spot together.

The Supergirl then began to smile at one part she picked out from Y/N's wording. That he wants to build a life with her, and in her vision? So did she, she wanted this to happen, she was the first to kiss him after all back in December of 1942

"I also want to build a life with you too" she drew her face closer to his once more, batting her eyes toward him. "I remember Faora mentioning something about the crystal necklace I came to Earth with, mentioning it would do something incredible when it contacted ice, like the ice in the North Pole, the Arctic you called it" Kara brought up a previous encounter with Faora back in 1942 before she turned herself into Doomsday, a hybrid at least. "I've always wondered what it would do".

"Hmm" the Cobra hummed a thought, thinking of a potential idea what they could do together, to discover if what Faora said was true back in 42. "How about we discover that... Tomorrow? You and I" he offered as she smiled funnily.

"I thought you weren't cleared for duty?" she asked with a curious smile.

"Who says I need to be cleared for duty? It's not like we're going on a covert mission, right?" the pair still rocked side to side, slowly turning in the same spot still as Y/N's question repeated in Kara's head as she thought for the minute, her eyes off of him to think so she couldn't get too distracted.

"{You're right}" she smiles after thinking, taking up on his offer. "On one condition" she locked eyes with him next.

"What would that be, my dear?" he smirked.

"Can I stay over? It's... Been a while since I last awakened beside you... In a more comfortable spot" she eyed the bed for a moment's notice before looking back at him.

"I'm sure my mother would be fine with that, I'll ask her, highly doubt she'd say no, think she already likes you" he nodded in agreement with a smile still on his face. "But... Let's enjoy the dance, I've been wanting this for a long time".

"I agree" she nodded. Before kissing him softly, her lips were soft like a cushion, pressing against his gently, with Y/N deepening the kiss by melting into her lips, the soft, smacking sounds overlapped by the music still playing as they slowly danced.

"I love you, Kara Starikov" Y/N pulled back slightly to communicate, both smiling softly.

"I love you too, Y/N L/N".

🎵 It's Been a Long, Long Time...🎵

______________________________________________________________

Fin...

Word Count: 5434

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accio-victuuri · 11 months ago

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oh i like these posts. hahahahahaha! politics aside, oh well, no actually— i don’t think we can ever put aside politics when it comes to the boys ; I see cpfs sharing posts and commenting on this person’s “greeting” for wyb. and well, you will see why. she is a politician in hongkong.

[Patriotic top star Wang Yibo]

What big day is August 5? Last year, this day was the 12th anniversary of the New People's Party; it was also the birthday of Wang Yibo, a top star in the mainland.

Wang Yibo has a deep connection with Hong Kong. He was born in 1997, when Hong Kong returned to the motherland. I still remember that he sang a song "Stand Up" for Hong Kong on the 25th anniversary of the return; on July 1, 2023, he personally came to Hong Kong to attend the "Greater Bay Area Film and Music Gala" "The Moon Rises in the Bay Area", but unfortunately it did not cause much response at the time.

Although he is not a popular idol of Hong Kong people, friends who pay attention to the mainland entertainment industry know that Wang Yibo is a top star in the mainland entertainment industry; he has extraordinary dancing skills, and his status as the "King of Dance" in the mainland is unquestionable. In addition, he is also engaged in many public welfare undertakings; he recently filmed a documentary series on protecting pangolins as a public welfare ambassador of WildAid. He is an artist with both talent and virtue.

I once asked a public question in the Legislative Council: Since Hong Kong is hosting many events and concerts, the SAR government should actively consider inviting mainland top stars Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo to perform in Hong Kong. I believe that this will attract a large number of fans from the mainland and around the world to support Hong Kong and truly promote Hong Kong's concert economy.

Recently, there are two things about him that impressed me the most. First, his performance in the mainland hit drama "War of Faith" was amazing, and his acting skills have made a great leap forward. I, like many mainland audiences, think that he deserves the "Best Actor". Unfortunately, he was not nominated for the Best Actor in the list of nominees for the Shanghai TV Magnolia Awards earlier. This incident triggered a series of controversies in the mainland entertainment industry. Many people feel sorry for him.

In addition, when he was serving as a torchbearer for this year's Olympics in Paris, he saw a fan holding a mini national flag accidentally dropped it on the ground, and he picked it up spontaneously, showing his sincere respect and love for the national flag. If every young person in Hong Kong can spontaneously love the national flag and national emblem, and understand that it represents the dignity of the country, then it means that Hong Kong's patriotic education has truly succeeded.

In summary, Wang Yibo is an outstanding young man. He went to Korea for training when he was young. After years of hard work, he has mastered first-class dancing skills. His acting skills have also been recognized in recent years. Even though he is a top star with huge commercial value, he is also enthusiastic about public welfare. He is really a role model for artists. I hope that young people in Hong Kong will take him as an example and learn how to be a good young man with both talent and virtue, who loves the national flag and spontaneously safeguards the dignity of the country.

* So i guess it’s now obvious why cpfs like this post so much. it’s because both of them were mentioned. and is is what we’ve been hoping for, that they will be invited to events and probably even work on a project together because they are “positive” artists. and how important it is for them to maintain that image to stay safe in the industry. tho i have to say that it’s not hard for them cause they are good natured people. It’s not an “act”, that is just how they are.

and it’s what we’ve been saying, that these two are one of the best ways for CHN to have some soft power in the international stage. tho i’m sure they will have detractors who will be quick to pull out “evidence” of their government support and use it against them.

also months back, she also posted something about CQL. so yeah, no wonder she got popular with cpfs ⬇️⬇️

China’s “danmei” genre is booming in the West

The article “How to Tell Chinese Stories Well” (July 14) overlooks an important genre that is growing in popularity in the West and is more reflective of contemporary Chinese life than works from decades ago such as Shanghai Life and Death or The Wild Swans.

I am referring to the danmei genre of online novels. Danmei is a term that originated in Japan. This new genre has spawned a number of very successful online novels that have been adapted into extremely popular Chinese TV series and translated into English. A prominent example is The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, which was adapted into the Chinese TV series The Untamed in 2019 and translated into English and is available on Amazon.

Untamed made two young actors, Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo, famous in China. Another very successful work is Erha and His White Cat Shizun, which made the New York Times bestseller list in English. The English version has a wide readership in the West and is available in paperback.

Danmei novels celebrate “boys’ love”, which is officially frowned upon. A major production based on Erha, produced by Tencent, has been shelved. But the genre has a large following in China and abroad, inspiring fan art, fan works and merchandise.

Many danmei online novels are written by women for women. Why are they so popular among Chinese women? Their popularity reflects the frustrations of contemporary Chinese women: they are trapped between traditional, realistic, family-oriented marriage concepts and a desire for romance and true love, as celebrated in danmei novels. Such novels have become a channel for their fantasy and escapism. Surprisingly, these novels have also been loved by Western audiences.

While TV series based on such novels have been banned, animated versions of some popular works are still in production. The resilience of the genre, which is seen by the authorities as a departure from the official "main melody" works, reflects the delicate relationship between the authorities and the artists who create them. Most of the time, the authorities have the upper hand, but the ban has not stopped private enterprises and creative talents from finding space for the genre to thrive. Can we call it the authorities' "one eye open, one eye closed" attitude?

* this is a short but very interesting take on the whole thing. she is not even mentioning how TGCF is so popular in the mainland and continues to do so with it’s donghua and manhua. i guess it’s really one eye open and one eye closed and i hope it stays that way so that this genre will continue to thrive! i’m not holding that much expectation for the live action versions tho.

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do

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haveyoureadthisfanfic · 5 months ago

Note

Anything that stands out to you in the latest submission batch?

A Splatoon fic. I believe we have two now

A few Arcane fics, unsurprisingly

One fic for The Mummy (1999)

A few Moon Knight fics. We've obviously had a lot of MCU, but Moon Knight specifically is new

One Inception fic. Again, I believe that raises the overall count to a whopping 2

Two Mistborn fics

A few Gilmore Girls fics, which I am fascinated by

More Squid Games than I would expect

A Ghostbusters fic, specifically the more recent movies

The Return of Dr Stone

Only one Wicked fic, for some reason

A Life On Mars fic

Rusty Quill Gaming ???

A Buzzfeed Unsolved fic, which is about the second or third we've ever had

One solitary Undertale fic

And many fandoms I'd never heard of, such as: Band of Brothers, Death and Taxes, Beyond Evil, Motherland: Fort Salem, Marble Hornets, Sharpe, Rizzoli and Isles, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles, and Code Lyoko

You guys somehow surprise me every time - Mod W

#fic asks #haveyoureadthisfic #pollblr #internet culture #fandom culture #fanfic

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griotsaidwhat · 7 days ago

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Saint Andrew

What is Black Anarchism?

Introduction

I want us to be free. Despite the denial of our humanity, we will be free. Despite the constant war waged against us, we will be free. Despite the relentless genocide against our people, across the world, we will be free. Despite. Despite. Despite. We have lived in defiance of the violence of capitalism and the State. This is our intergenerational legacy. Undeterred. It is my aim to carry the torch to the finish line. I want us to explore the less well-known aspects and lessons of our history. The hidden subversives and unseen uprisings that constitute an unknown revolutionary tradition. It’s time we threw off the burdens of the ideologies and systems built in opposition to our freedom. It’s time we recognize the history of the Black anarchics and understand what Black Anarchism truly is.

Pre-Colonial African “Anarchism”

Africa. The Motherland. The Cradle of Humanity. The home we were stolen from. Prior to the violence of the Transatlantic Slave Trade, Africa hosted a variety of nations, all with their own unique outlooks on the world and means of organizing society. There were many precolonial kingdoms and states that constituted Africa: Ghana. Mali. Songhai. Aksum. Zimbabwe. Kongo. Besides those and other complex civilizations, we often glaze over the societies we’ve been taught to view as primitive. But there are lessons these societies can teach us.

Nomadic, gatherer-hunter societies for instance, have shunned wealth as a burden. And not only a burden, but also a potential source of rupture to an otherwise egalitarian existence. Real wealth is acquired not through want and property, but through the free time to enjoy leisure and creativity. It’s what cultural anthropologist Marshall Sahlins called “original affluence”: having enough of whatever is required to satisfy consumption needs, and plenty of free time to enjoy life. Take for instance, the Ju/wasi people, one of the San ethnic groups of South Africa. They, like other nomadic groups, have been pushed to the fringes, away from the plentiful environments they once enjoyed. Nevertheless, they’ve enjoyed a life without hierarchy, private property, or division of labour, for hundreds of years. Work and play are practically synonymous, and they’re free to enjoy their lives without devotion to toil.

I’m not trying to argue that we return to nomadic life, by the way. Although the introduction of farming did bring surplus, inequality, population density, new diseases, and war, a pattern that has repeated itself across the world, nomadic life was not perfect, let’s not romanticize. They definitely suffered high rates of infant mortality and there were issues of infectious disease, periods of hunger, and the pressure of conformity. Still, we need to have a clearer picture of our history. I want us to understand that peaceful, sustainable living is not antithetical to human nature.

Nor is it exclusive to nomads. Egalitarian, communal societies have also been found amongst settled peoples in Africa too, some numbering in the millions, yet enjoying direct democracy, consensus, and gift economies. Free of the harsh social stratifications we know all too well, with all enjoying equal access to land and other elements of production, so that everyone’s needs were met. While there was an element of ageism, as elders were seen as possessors of wisdom and justice, generally their position was not one of superiority or imposition, but of common consensus. They shared work with the rest of the community and received more or less the same share as everyone else.

While feudalism has developed out of some of these societies, many have maintained their commitment to non-authoritarian organization, proving that such societies are not only possible, but have existed on Africa and other continents for much longer than the recent phenomenon of tyranny, the state, and capitalism.

What is Anarchism?

Anarchism is a political philosophy and movement of movements that arose in 19th century Europe, though it has a precedent that dates as far back as the rise of hierarchy itself, across the world. It has been frequently, and sometimes purposefully, misunderstood and misrepresented by people of all corners of the political spectrum, but allow me to clarify. Anarchism aims to create a society without political, economic or social hierarchies. Historically, the focus of anarchism was as my favourite non-Mario Italian Errico Malatesta described: the abolition of capitalism and government. However, as anarchism has developed over the past century, anarchists have come to recognize the co-equal importance of struggle against patriarchy, white supremacy, and other systems of domination as well. Anarchists oppose all forms of domination and exploitation.

I’ve linked a hefty resource on anarchism in the description, but it really is simple. Anarchism is an expression of our innate capacity to organize ourselves and run society without rulers. It is a recognition that the oppressed peoples of this world must become conscious of our collective power, defend our immediate interests, and fight to revolutionize society as a whole, so that we can prefigure a world fit for human beings to live in, fully.

Errico Malatesta, Emma Goldman, Peter Kropotkin, Mikhail Bakunin, and Alexander Berkman are very well known for their contributions to anarchist theory. But even in the early years, Black folks have been involved in the anarchist movement. Ben Fletcher and the other Black workers and organizers of the Industrial Workers of the World, which was co-founded by anarchist and labour organizer Lucy Parsons in the early 20th century. Or who could forget the smooth oration and militant struggle of the notorious early 20th century Brazilian anarchist, Domingos Passos, and the many others who struggled for freedom in the Rio de Janeiro Workers’ Federation? And of course, let’s not neglect the 90 African Americans, including this man, who went with the Lincoln Brigade to fight fascists alongside anarchists during the Spanish Civil War. However, Black Anarchism, as we understand it today, would not develop until much later.

Black Anarchism is a term that has been applied to a very loose grouping of diverse perspectives. There are many Black Anarchisms in truth. Perhaps a better umbrella term would be Black Anarchic Radicals, or BARs for short, as coined by the Afrofuturist Abolitionists of the Americas. BAR would be inclusive of Black Anarchists, New Afrikan Anarchists, Quilombists, Anarkatas, Anarchist Panthers, Black Autonomists, African Anarchists, and others. For now though, I’ll keep using Black Anarchism to refer to the broader movement. Where did it come from?

The Rise of Black Power

The Black Power movement of the late 20th century arose with the awareness of the shortcomings of mainstream liberal civil rights movements, and especially their emphasis on integration into the capitalist US state. Ojore Lutalo, a New Afrikan anarchist, would describe both the modern and historic civil rights movement as “corrupt” and “opportunist”, with leaders “open for a price” and seeking a place at the table. Instead, Black Power groups like the Black Panther Party, the Republic of New Afrika, Revolutionary Action Movement, League of Revolutionary Black Workers, and the Black Liberation Army, would uphold Revolutionary Black nationalism, emphasizing the need for economic, political, and cultural autonomy and understanding that racial inequality and domination were built into the system of White supremacy and capitalism. Many of these groups would also promote armed struggle, arguing that violence was necessary for self defense and social change.

An intersectional analysis of race, class, gender, and state domination would also arise in the Black Power movement, especially thanks to the efforts of Black feminists, and would help illuminate the divergent interests among Black people that would need to be accounted for. They came to recognize the close interplay between a white supremacist system intent on destroying and dominating Black people, an exploitative capitalist economic system that drained Black communities of labor and wealth, a patriarchal system that pervaded both Black movements and the wider society, and a settler colonial government intent upon political suppression.

So, what happened? The US government had no interest in tolerating the assertive demands of the Black freedom struggle, and deployed both local police forces and the FBI to destroy these movements. The full weight of the State was upon them. As the Black Panther Party disintegrated under state assault, many of its members were either killed, exiled, absorbed, or imprisoned. Many former Panthers would later get involved with cultural nationalism, community organizing, the Revolutionary Communist Party, or the Democratic Party. But not all of them.

Within the movement itself, there were divisions that were not resolved. Some of the incarcerated rank-and-file Panthers would express discomfort with the organizational structure of the Party. Their geographic and spatial distance from outside movements while in prison allowed them time to reflect on previous strategies, and would lead them to develop Black Anarchisms. But before I dive into their distinct journeys, visions, focuses, and perspectives, what were some of their criticisms of the Panthers?

Lorenzo Kom’boa Ervin believed that “[the Party] partially failed because of the authoritarian leadership style of Huey P. Newton, Bobby Seale and others on the Central Committee […] Many errors were made because the national leadership was so divorced from the chapters in cities all over the country, and therefore engaged in “commandism” or forced work dictated by leaders [...] There was not a lot of inner-party democracy, and when contradictions came up, it was the leaders who decided on their resolution, not the members.” Kuwasi Balagoon characterized the Party as a “hierarchy that had undeserved pretensions of grandeur” and “ turned away from its purposes of liberation of the Black colony to fundraising.”

Ashanti Alston realized that “there was a problem with [his] love for people like Huey P. Newton, Bobby Seale, and Eldridge Cleaver and the fact that he had put them on a pedestal.” Ollie A. Johnson III, while never a member of the Panthers, published a hefty critique of the internal issues with the Panther Party in Chapter Sixteen of Charles E. Jones’ book The Black Panther Party Reconsidered. I’ve linked it below. There he argues that the Party changed from a large, decentralized, revolutionary organization to a small, highly centralized, reformist group. And he laments the recurrence of “Great Men” gaining too much power in revolutionary movements.

The story of Black Anarchisms really begins with the critiques of the incarcerated radicals which I’ve decided to dub the Post-Panther milieu: Lorenzo Kom’boa Ervin, Kuwasi Balagoon, and Ashanti Alston. As well as the non-Panthers who were nonetheless influential: Ojore Lutalo and Martin Sostre.

The Rise of Black Anarchisms

Lorenzo Kom’boa Ervin

Lorenzo Kom’boa Ervin joined the Panthers in 1967 after being involved with the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee. In 1969, while on the run for attempting to kill a Ku Klux Klan member, he hijacked a plane and fled to Cuba. But instead of lending support, the Cuban authorities jailed him, then deported him to Czechoslovakia. He then escaped to East Germany before being captured, smuggled into Berlin, tortured for a week, and brought back to the States to be drugged through his trial and handed two life sentences by an all-white jury in a redneck town.

While in those so-called socialist countries, he became disillusioned with what was clearly a dictatorship, not some “dictatorship of the proletariat.” And while in prison, although involved in prison struggles, he took time to reflect on his life and sought out an alternative method to Black revolution. Around 1973, he began receiving Anarchist literature, became inspired by Peter Kropotkin, and eventually became a Black Anarchist. His case was adopted by the Anarchist Black Cross and a Dutch Anarchist group called Help A Prisoner Oppose Torture Organizing Committee. They coordinated an international campaign petitioning for his release.

Of course, he took issue with middle class hyperindividualism of many white American anarchists at the time, but he still worked with anarchists around the world who continued to support him and write to him while in prison. He began writing Anarchism and the Black Revolution and published it in 1979. It remains one of the best and most widely read works on anarchism today. Linked below. His prison writings garnered him a following in Europe, Africa, and among Australian Aboriginals. He was finally released nearly 15 years after his sentence, in 1983.

In The Black Revolution, Ervin emphasized that Anarchism is “the most democratic, effective, and radical way to obtain our freedom, but that we must be free to design our own movements, whether it is understood or “approved” by North American Anarchists or not. We must fight for our freedom, no one else can free us, but they can help us.” He firmly believed that Black people, and other people of colour, would constitute the backbone of the American Anarchist movement of the future. He also takes a principled stance against the world capitalist system, white supremacy, imperialism, colonial oppression, patriarchy, queerphobia, and the state, including state “communism”, recognizing that government is one of the worst forms of modem oppression. His emphasis on intersectionality would play a strong role in the shift away from class-exclusive analysis in the American Anarchist movement. More on that shift later. He remains active today, and records a podcast called Black Autonomy with his wife and fellow former Panther JoNina. Remember his story.

Martin Sostre

Ervin was actually first introduced to anarchism when he connected with the radical prison abolitionist and anarchist Martin Sostre in 1969 while in prison. Sostre was never a Panther. He grew up in Harlem during the Great Depression. He briefly joined the army, but was dishonourably discharged because of his run-ins with the law. Eventually, he was thrown into prison for trumped-up drug charges in 1952. At first, he turned to the Nation of Islam, and after being thrown into solitary for expressing his beliefs, he became a jailhouse lawyer. He was released in 1964 and opened a bookstore that sold radical books on black nationalism and communism, in Buffalo, New York. His bookstore would become a place where he cultivated resistance for an entire community. Eventually, he parted with the Nation of Islam.

In that time, Black uprisings were common across the States. When revolt hit Buffalo, Sostre was there doing the work he knew best: teaching, distributing radical literature, and providing context to the situation at hand. Eventually, the authorities would arrest him, gag him in court, and throw him into prison again. While in prison, he continued to educate himself and other prisoners, and almost single-handedly won democratic rights for prisoners to receive and read revolutionary literature, write books, worship alternative religious faiths, to not be held indefinitely in solitary confinement, and to obtain legal rights to have access to legal rights at disciplinary proceedings.

In a 1967-letter from prison, Sostre wrote that “I will never submit. The employment of the massive coercive power of the state is not enough to make me give up; I am like a Viet Cong — a Black Viet Cong.” At some point, Sostre was introduced to anarchism. He may have been the first Black Anarchist of the post-1960s wave. Ervin wrote about Sostre’s anarchist lessons in jail: “He bounced a new word on me: ‘Anarchist Socialism.’ I had no idea what he was talking about at the time … He explained to me about ‘self-governing socialism,’ which he described as free of state bureaucracy, any kind of party or leader dictatorship. Almost every day he regaled me about ‘direct democracy,’ ‘communitarianism,’ ‘radical autonomy,’ ‘general assemblies,’ and other stuff I knew nothing about. So I just listened for hours as he schooled me.”

Eventually, the witness that got Sostre locked up recanted, and he was freed in 1971. He had only read pamphlets and sketches of Kropotkin and Bakunin, but didn’t have access to any books on anarchism at the time. He did, however, extensively critique the Marxist-Leninist “party-line” and “whole structure”, which replaced ruling elites but did not further human freedom.

Sostre’s life story and his contributions to the struggle have remained largely unnoticed. Remember his story.

Kuwasi Balagoon

Kuwasi Balagoon joined the Panthers in New York in 1967. Prior to then, he spent 3 years as a soldier in the US army, stationed in Europe, where he experienced racism in Germany, but also exposure to Black people of all backgrounds in London, moving him to embrace Afrocentrism. Back in New York, Balagoon became active in rent strikes and other organizing efforts. Not long after, he joined the Panthers. Notably, he was openly bisexual, a reality that has often been erased. In 1969, he was arrested and indicted in what became known as the Trial of the Panther 21. And while most of the defendants were eventually released on bail, Balagoon was sentenced to 23–29 years in jail.

Balagoon became disillusioned with the Panthers. He could see the divisions between the West Coast and the East Coast Panthers more clearly. He became a heavy critic of bureaucracy and the repressiveness in Marxist-Leninism. He realized the Panthers had stopped being a party concerned with the daily struggle of Black people in America and instead one totally focused on defending its membership in court trials against the state. Soon, he had embraced what he described as New Afrikan Anarchism. Quote:

Of all ideologies, anarchy is the one that addresses liberty and equalitarian relations in a realistic and ultimate fashion. It is consistent with each individual having an opportunity to live a complete and total life. With anarchy, the society as a whole not only maintains itself at an equal expense to all, but progresses in a creative process unhindered by any class, caste or party. This is because the goals of anarchy don’t include replacing one ruling class with another, neither in the guise of a fairer boss or as a party.

Balagoon emphasized the importance of not only anti-Statism, but specifically anti-imperialism. He spent some time criticizing the North American anarchists who did not understand the deep structures of white supremacy and the need for national liberation struggle. Former prison mate David Gilbert would describe Balagoon as a free spirit in many ways, often very creative and not one to boss people around. He had a lot of faith in people’s ability to take charge of their own society. You can read more about Balagoon, and read his writings, in Kuwasi Balagoon: A Solider’s Story. Unfortunately, he died in prison of pneumocystis pneumonia, an AIDS-related illness, in 1986. Rest in power. Remember his story.

Ojore Lutalo

Ojore Lutalo was never a member of the Black Liberation Army or the Panthers, but he was involved in the struggle, as early as 1970. He and BLA member Kojo Bomani Sababu were arrested after they attempted to rob a bank to fund revolutionary projects, which ended in a shootout with the police.

He was harassed, isolated, and faced false charges throughout his incarceration in order to keep him from being paroled. However, upon befriending Kuwasi Balagoon and being exposed to critiques of Marxist-Leninism, he became a New Afrikan Anarchist in 1975. He would spend time creating collages while in prison, but in 1986, unprovoked, the prison moved him into the MCU, the sensory depriving Maximum Control Unit, where prisoners move in shackles and guards carry clubs they call “nigger beaters”.

In 2005, still in prison, Lutalo was interviewed for a film entitled In My Own Words where he spoke on everything from his own political beliefs, to life in the MCU, to the difficulty of being a vegetarian prisoner. In the film, he said that,

I just believe in the consensus process, I believe in the autonomous process. I believe that people are intelligent enough to govern their own lives and make their own decisions without somebody collecting untold billions of dollars of taxes and telling you what should and shouldn’t be. Most organizations of the Left and the Right they want to repress, they have power ambitions, they power hungry, money hungry. And they’ll do anything to retain that particular power. They don’t consult with the lower class people, they make decisions for them and I feel that’s wrong. So that’s why I became an anarchist.

More false charges were brought against him after that interview. Just a year before his release from prison in 2009, he was denied release from the MCU, specifically because the prison thought he might influence other prisoners ideologically. Eventually though, he was released. And in 2021, in an interview with MoMA PS1 curator Josephine Graf, Lutalo continued to advocate for revolution. Read the full interview. Remember his story.

Ashanti Alston

Ashanti Alston joined the Panthers and the Black Liberation Army in 1971, but before then, he’d been attending Nation of Islam meetings. He was imprisoned in 1974 for taking part in a robbery meant to raise funds for the BLA. While in prison, a fellow Panther named Frankie Ziths would first introduce Alston to anarchist texts. He was being sent a lot of letters and literature that he dismissed at first, because he thought anarchism was just about chaos. Eventually though, while in solitary, he finally dug into anarchism, and was surprised to find analyses of peoples’ struggles, peoples’ cultures, and peoples’ organizational formations.

But he wasn’t seeing anything that touched on the struggles of Black folks. There was a lot of emphasis on European struggles and European writings by European figures. It didn’t fully speak to him. He had to seek out the anarchic practices of non-European societies, from the most ancient to the most contemporary. He realized that all of us can function in an anti-authoritarian society. He began to see that we should not allow anyone to set themselves up as our leader or make decisions for us. He began to realize that “I, as an individual, should be respected, and that no one was important enough to do my thinking for me.”

He realized that the anti-colonial struggles of his time and of the past, whether in Angola, Guinea-Bissau, Mozambique, or Zimbabwe, still failed. The people lost popular power, and the foreign oppressor was replaced with a local oppressor. He became resistant to the influence and intervention of so-called leaders, wanting instead for “power to the people where it stays with the people.”

He was released from prison in 1985 and became heavily involved in organizing as a Black Anarchist. He published critiques of top down organizing, explored the influence of childhood on our psychology, and, although he saw the shortcomings of Black nationalism, he still saw it as a force for unity and a direction for social change, with the potential to be anti-State.

As for why he calls himself a Black Anarchist, he says that, “I think of being Black not so much as an ethnic category but as an oppositional force or touchstone for looking at situations differently. Black culture has always been oppositional and is all about finding ways to creatively resist oppression here, in the most racist country in the world.”

To Alston, anarchy’s insistence that you should never be stuck in old, obsolete approaches and always try to find new ways of looking at things, feeling, and organizing is important and inspiring. He’s still out here, still organizing, still part of the struggle. Remember his story.

Anarchist People Of Colour

One of the first white majority anarchist organizations in the US to discuss and prioritize the issue of race was the Love and Rage Revolutionary Anarchist Federation in the 1990s. Lorenzo Kom’boa Ervin eventually joined the group, and Ashanti Alston wrote for their paper. The organization would advocate for the abolition of whiteness. It had seemed as though white anarchists were finally grappling with race, not so?

Slow yuh roll. Black anarchists and their emphasis on racism was not always accepted by white anarchists. Ervin was critical of the anarcho-syndicalist union Industrial Workers of the World and the Love and Rage Revolutionary Anarchist Federation, as they were resistant to Ervin’s attempts to create autonomous groups for Black workers and other workers of colour. He was chastised for advocating “separatism.” Their unwillingness to incorporate people of colour on their own terms, condescension, pandering, and in some cases outright racism would alienate Ervin and other anarchists of colour. Read about it in “Speaking of Anarchism, Racism, and Black Liberation” by Ervin himself. Linked below. Ervin also criticized groups like Anti-Racist Action, because while they focused on opposing fascists, neo-Nazis, skinheads, and the Klan, they neglected the struggle against systemic racism. Other critics highlighted issues with their “anti-racist colour-blindness.”

Ernesto Aguilar criticized the lack of confrontation on internalized racism. Quote: “In essence, equal power is talked about, but many white people aren’t actually prepared to share it with the world majority. Why should they? Giving up the intoxicating power and influence over others and history is not easy.” Alston also criticized the blindness of white anarchists to their own racism and privilege. He expressed the need for white anarchists to fight racism not only in the world’s institutions, but also within the movement itself. They need to deepen their understanding of oppression.

Black Anarchics should be credited for the much-needed broadening of the anarchist struggle, especially with regard to race. The efforts of BARs like Ernesto Aguilar, Pedro Ribeiro, Ashanti Alston, and others, to create the decentralized Anarchist People Of Colour or APOC movement, were crucial for the wider recognition of intersectional analysis within anarchism. There’s still a lot of work to do, but at least they’ve carved a space for anarchists of colour.

In 2003, Ernesto Aguilar organized the first APOC conference, with around 300 attendees, in Detroit, Michigan. The conference even got support from white anarchists, who raised funds and offered to provide security for the event in the face of Nazi threats of violence. As Alston said in an interview with Black Ink, “the conference allowed many anarchists of colour to see each other for the first time, recognize our commonalities, and understand the need to work from a foundation where we could respect each other and work in our communities.” It allowed them to share their experience and articulate their vision to fellow anarchists of colour, advocate for a stronger analysis of race and ethnicity within the anarchist movement, and develop a conscious project of self-determination for people of colour.

As Aguilar and Alston have both articulated, people of colour are working through our own internalized racism, and need an organizing space, without the input or approval of white people, to deconstruct racism and its impact on our psyches and self esteem. Members of the APOC movement published a two-volume edited collection called Our Culture, Our Resistance. Linked below.

Anarkata

And what about Anarkata? As a political tendency, developed out of Black Anarchisms and defined by the Afrofuturist Abolitionists of the Americas in 2019, it incorporates elements of not only Anarchism, but also Black Marxism, Maoism, Pan-Africanism, Black feminism, Queer liberation, etc etc. Thus, it stands opposed to not only the Western and capitalist forces oppressing Black people, but all axes of oppression that work against us. The term Anarkata is short for ‘anarchic akata,’ a reclamation of the Yoruba word for ‘housecat’ or ‘wild animal’, considered a slur by some. Just to make this clear, Anarkata is not a term nonBlack people should be applying to any old Black Anarchic. It is an in-house term. Relax yuhself.

Anarkata is inspired by the rich history of Black resistance. From the communal nomads of Africa, to the stateless Africans who defied African empires, to the refugees who fled Saharan and Atlantic Slave Trades, to the Black captives who found queer love despite all odds, to the Black pirates who bled empire of its stolen wealth, to the Maroons of the Americas, to the slave uprisings and race riots that would threaten the white power structure, to the Black guerillas who resisted European colonialism, to the Black women who challenged white supremacist patriarchy, to the Black trans people who transgress the impositions of colonial gender binaries, to the Pan-Africanist struggle to connect the freedom of the entire diaspora, to the fight for disability justice, to the prison abolitionist struggle.

At the root of the Anarkata tradition is the Black tendency to defy rigidity, borders, hierarchy, and enclosure. To emphasize freedom through grassroots organizing, mutual aid, and revolutionary struggle. To quote the Anarkata statement, “Through countless moments of defiance and flexibility, our ancestors made a way for us to imagine an anarchic radicalism that is unmistakably Black.”

African Anarchism

Although I’ve been focused on the work of BARs in the Americas, I don’t want to ignore the distinct yet related struggle of anarchists in Africa. Let’s discuss the particular anarchist struggles in South Africa, the Horn of Africa, and Nigeria.

South Africa

The Zabalaza Anarchist Communist Front, founded in 2003, is an anarchist communist platformist and especifista organization active in Johannesburg, South Africa. The name is derived from ‘struggle’ in Xhosa. The organization is involved in theoretical development, anarchist agitation and propaganda, and participation within the class struggle. Their strategy is simple. They participate in and help create mass, heterogeneous social movements with the objective of spreading the influence of anarchist principles and practices, even if they aren’t recognized as such, like: direct democracy, mutual aid, horizontalism, class combativeness, direct action, and independence from electoral politics and parties. The ZACF has faced death threats, repression, and arrest, especially of its Black members.

Horn of Africa

Horn Anarchists, founded in 2020, is a collective project developed in the Horn of Africa to organize and disseminate anarchist ideas, values, and politics. The collective is united by values of equality, kindness, mutual aid, solidarity, and voluntarism. Prior to the collective, anarchist was a label that various Marxist-Leninist parties would hurl at their opponents in order to smear them. There is little consciousness of anarchism on the Horn, or awareness of class struggle. Highly hierarchical Orthodox Christianity dominates politics and society in Ethiopia, and the expansionist and assimilationist Ethiopian empire has aimed to melt all the diverse religions, ethnicities, and identities into one Orthodox Christian Ethiopian identity. In the midst of the Tigray genocide, the Horn Anarchists collective plans to meet in Sudan to work with refugees who have been forced to flee their homes.

Nigeria

In Nigeria, The Awareness League flourished in the 1990s, but has declined since then. Born out of the collapse of state “communism” in Europe, anarchism became increasingly popular in the struggle against military rule in Nigeria. In fact, the League derived all of its lifeblood from that resistance, joining forces with other anti-military groups and growing in popularity. However, with the coming of civilian rule in 1999, the Awareness League, along with virtually all leftist organizations, practically evaporated, or in some cases gravitated to electoral politics. They no longer had a common enemy, and were not prepared for the consequences of civilian rule. The most recent invocation of anarchism in Nigeria has come from the former military junta leader, now President of Nigeria, who warned young Nigerians that anarchists were attempting to hijack the 2020 EndSARS movement.

Nigerian anarchist and co-author of African Anarchism Sam Mbah said in 2012 that “anarchism is not dead in Africa.” However, it is important to understand that anarchism, as a political movement, is going to take time to develop in Africa, to agitate the people and spread the awareness of what it is. Mbah believed that African Anarchists could build a movement on the continent by finding common ground with those who seek to hold the government accountable, fight for the environment, fight for gender equality, and fight for human rights. Sam Mbah passed in 2014, may he rest in power. However, the work of Horn Anarchists and Zabalaza Anarchist Communist Front prove that his efforts to develop anarchism in Africa were not in vain. They continue to carry the torch. Solidarity forever.

Conclusion

Thanks to the effort of Black Anarchics, alongside the influence of the prison abolition movement and the various Indigenous struggles of the past few decades, the anarchist movement has broadened significantly. It still has a ways to go, but it has made progress. The Classical Anarchist devotion almost solely to capitalism and the State has been superseded by a growing recognition of struggles around patriarchal, racial, colonial, and national domination. The contributions of non-anarchist yet highly influential thinkers like Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, and bell hooks have significantly developed contemporary anarchism’s intersectional approach, but their influence is not widespread or widely-recognized enough. That needs to change.

In her interview with Northeastern Federation of Anarchist Communists, bell hooks challenges us to: “Dare to look at the intersectionalities. Dare to be holistic. Part of the heart of anarchy is [to] dare to go against the grain of the conventional ways of thinking about our realities. Anarchists have always gone against the grain, and that’s been a place of hope.” Learn from our ancestors. From the precolonial African communalists to the elders who are still with us today. As for praxis, Ervin advocated a strategy of survival programmes, mutual aid, housing coops, rent strikes, labour strikes, the construction of local community councils, and the seizure of food systems, workplaces, and educational institutions. See where you can get started.

To my Black siblings, my famalay, all over the world, from right here in Trinidad, to wherever you find yourself, struggling against anti-Blackness, patriarchy, capitalism, and the State: don’t wait to be led. Don’t negotiate your freedom. Alston had a word for you: “You all can do this. You have the vision. You have the creativity. Do not allow anyone to lock that down.” Ella Baker also spoke on it: “Strong people don’t need strong leaders.” Zoé Samudzi and William C Anderson remind us in The Anarchism of Blackness that “This burning house cannot be reformed to appropriately include us, nor should we want to share a painful death perishing in the flames. A better society has to be written through our inalienable self-determinations, and that will only happen when we realize we are holding the pen.”

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