#tracking down a missing person
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#ninjago confidential#ninjago prime empire#ninjago zane#yknow what take the entire transcript for the episode#(Ninjago city is shown in greyscale) Zane: (Narrating in a dramatic voice) Ninjago City. My city.#I know it like the insides of my own circuits. Which is why I know… it has a dark side. My best friends are trapped in an immersive video#game called Prime Empire.(Zane is revealed to have been narrating out loud.)Zane: Yeah#you heard that right. They're being held there by#villain named Unagami. But “Unagami” isn't his real name. It's as fake as a used car salesman's smile. His true identity is Milton Dyer#the computer programmer who designed Prime Empire. The only hope for them getting out of the digital world rests on finding Dyer in the real#world. My world. I was fishing for leads#but for now I find myself adrift on a sea of dead ends....#(P.I.X.A.L. steps out of the fog.)Zane: Then… She walked in.(The color returns to normal.)P.I.X.A.L.: There you are#Zane.Zane: She said#shining the only ray of light into my dreary world!P.I.X.A.L.: Who are you talking to? And why are you dressed like that?Zane: (Speaking#in his normal voice) Since we are engaged in detective work#tracking down a missing person#I have downloaded thousands of detective books#and movies as research.P.I.X.A.L: And that has to do with… hats?Zane: According to my analysis#100 percent of successful detectives wear#trench coats and hats while narrating their thoughts. Thus I have adopted the same methodology. P.I.X.A.L.: It seems improbable that hat#and overly descriptive monologues are significant factors in an investigative outcome.Zane: (Sighs.) I've tried everything else to no#success. This method has to work.P.I.X.A.L.: Well#okay I guess. I do have a new possible avenue of inquiry.Zane: (Dramatic voice) A lead!#P.I.X.A.L.: What?Zane:(normal voice.) Detectives call it a “lead.”P.I.X.A.L.: Okay#I have a “lead”. A source willing to share information#(Zane gets back into character and the colors go back to greyscale.)Zane: (Dramatic voice) Ah… So a “canary” wants to “sing?” Who is it?#(P.I.X.A.L. projects an image of a young Dyer and another figure.)P.I.X.A.L.: Remember this photo from Dyer's childhood home? I was able to#track his friend to Laughy's Karaoke Club. Perhaps he knows Dyer's whereabouts.Zane: So… A rumble on the street gave us a hot tip about a#okay im out of tags go watch the real episode
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swings bat at hornets nest dot png
consistent characterization of pb is that if youre conventionally cute she will like you and pull you out of danger but if youre kinda offputting or ugly she will let bad things happen to you in front of her and she might even openly blame you for them
#adventure time#princess bubblegum#<- barely there but thats who it's about#candy people#too old.. two kids were singing and getting electrocuted and shes like oof. i cant watch . gl guys.#and then lemonhope gets knocked over like not even very violently and shes SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF. THIS IS A TALENTED BOY.#the marshmallow kids know how to put on their charming lad voices and she let them redeem themselves but the pup gang are too angry#so they have to suffer forever. nurse poundcake ran off and i guess pb just let her but when cb moved out she chased him down!#but BP was a tormented teenager with a chronic illness that the candy drs couldnt cure. so its ok. she can live in a cave. as a TEENAGER.#and did you SEE how she treats the duke of nuts. the fact that he calls it a pudding deficiency gives me candy person vibes.#like . was he a failure of hers is that why she. physically and verbally attacks him. yeah he steals from her but she doesnt even. like.#she just publicly humiilates him and throws things at him.#now i do get that she doesnt like ppl taking her food. thats a thing. but like. ok#its the dichotomy of how she treats the pup gang/the mallow kids. how she chases down cb repeatedly but let BP just live in a cave.#how she screams at the duke of nuts and throws things at him and calls LG a failure to his face and cuddles everyone else tenderly.#its how she walked calmly away from two+ children screaming in pain and plucked a different less weird looking one out of the same home#and told him HE was perfect and talented and she would keep HIM safe. that she couldnt save his siblings. just him. that HE was worthy.#like man i get it was a complex situation but its also just. they were right there. she pushed them aside and found a pretty one to save#jimmys here too because i think its really funny (:|) that as soon as he got oozer in him shes like hm. go as far away from me as you can.#i cant help you anymore man. im going to leave you to the wolves. im not going to miss you. like up until then she just put up with his bs#and as soon as he got weird looking she was like Oh go away now thanks. dont like that. (it was more ocmplex but i KNOW this contributed)#also she was literlaly rounding him up to kill him. and turned around like. ouh. um. nvm. just go away! youre self actualized now-#-so i cant justify killing you but you look weird so i cant let you stay. pb letting odd unstable men run away since 2012#and dragging her most stable boys back over and over again to keep in her pretty panorama (cb didnt wanna come back!!)#DONT. talk to me about how pb treats vulnerable people in her care. i turn into unskippable cutscene.#wish id done something different with the colors here. it doesnt track very well. OH WELL!#id like to also point out princess cookie who wasnt like. ugly. but he was born into poverty. and she was nice to him (i maintain that she#didnt LAUGH AT HIM she was like giggly flattered; just didnt debrief or tell him any encouraging words.) but crucially she Never Came Back.#im gonna run out of tags but listen. im rattling my bars. youll hear from me again. i cant explain what im seeing in her. i dont hate her.
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Something about Izuku I keep thinking about is how much he's a downright hypocrite and the only reason he isn't called out on it is because he's one for himself and not for others and at the core of it all it boils down to his pending childhood issues and the *vaguely gestures* "relationship" he and Katsuki have- I mean, just out of the top of my head:
Wants to be a strong and dependable hero but is at his weakest when he's alone.
Says to Himiko he would never hurt someone he loves but was the reason Katsuki was forced to dance with death until his own sacrifice. Hell, I'm expecting him to actually accidentally hurt Katsuki (Physically? Emotionally? You decide) next time they talk.
Wants to save people with a smile but barely cracked genuine ones during his battle with Tenko- I can think of two(?), and even then those felt more like a resignation (379 and 412 iirc) than actual smiles.
Being aware Kacchan's a jackass, fine, but the entire "Imitate the people you love/admire" themes, having an attitude when heated or absolutely Done with anyone's BS (makes sense for someone who grew up besides a kid in the Inferiority-Superiority Complex but still) and "This is a battle between All For One and One For All, you can't keep up" is still very much pot calling the kettle black (it's because his "arrogance" is rooted in selflessness and desire to be useful but that's for another day)
Deadass called All For One out for being a lonely man pretending to be a "Demon Lord" yet will not admit he himself thinks a he's just a lonely kid pretending to be a hero; and by the time he seemed to be growing out of it: Paranormal Liberation Front.
"IT'S YOUR POWER, ISN'T IT?!" Cool, nice of him to comfort Shoto and try the same with Touya, now if only he could do the same in regards to himself and OFA-
Wasn't able to connect with Tenko at all and that's why he failed but it's wild to me he'd still the one who even at surface level could relate to):
Spinner, because they're nerds who were ostracized based on Quirks/lack thereof looking for a purpose and were unable to help him because of AFO's interference;
Himiko, because they want to be like others (because they hate themselves at least a little bit) but also show love in a way others wouldn't accept and;
Touya, because they wanted to prove they could be useful to others and be heroes to the point of actively harmed themselves while using their own Quirk.
Hell, when you think about it he related to the crying child but he could've used Literally Anything from his relationship with Katsuki to try and reach Tenko, but of course he didn't, that means he'd have to think about his own issues and yet he saw Tenko's issues no wonder he didn't get the job done-
Also can we talk about him saying he relates to Ochako confronting Himiko but she actually succeeded- Or even Shoto wanting to forgive Endeavor; I keep recalling both Ch. 322 him saying he won't forgive Tenko for anything he did (understandable but still) and Tenko going "And I won't forgive anyone". Connecting these three instances are huge stretches, I know, but really, he hasn't addressed the apology he got- combined narrative punishments for empty platitudes.
Kept saying he needed to improve in his control with OFA: had to get beaten up during his internship and in the Summer Camp for that lesson to stick... Then he heard the words "Control Your Heart" and decided to Not Address It At All.
Supposed to surpass but he's really All Might's successor in every way that counts: Smile so nobody will worry, keep fighting even though you are destroying yourself, be so selfless you'll make your friends desperate enough to make you stop for your own good, hide every single thing you can about yourself, the only difference is in the bed they made: Toshinori lies in omission most of the time, and Izuku thinks he lies in white when almost every other character's in the dark, but as long as there's a dream of bright smiles in the future, who cares they're now forcefully entangled in this nightmare, right?
And these are just the examples I can think of the top of my head, there might be more, but. No wonder we've been "panicking" (let's be real his therapist already scheduled him for Ground Beta atp-) Shoto and Ochako brushed him off by accident in Chapter 425, it's the consequences of his hypocritical ass coming back to bite him-
(I am not hating on him, by the way, it's just something about him I wanted to point out. I like that aspect of his. Makes him more human. But jeez can someone call him out and make him practice what he preaches? XD)
#Boku no Hero Academia#Midoriya Izuku#BNHA spoilers#MHA spoilers#spider.posts#i could go on and on about Izuku looking like a lawful goody-two-shoes but really being more chaotic good than most of his friends#but because no one pays attention- unfortunate consequence of his selflessness he comes across as a perfect heroic figure#to the point he comes off as borderline preachy because he's on little miss perfect mode and (only one person can notice it (we know who))#and it builds because no one else sees him breaking 'till he's reaching the cliff's edge until he's steps away from swan diving#if he acknowleged he's like any of the LoV it means he has problems and he can't have them otherwise he's that useless kid from years ago#The consequences of him putting the Hero Deku mask and ignoring the Child Deku from before no wonder he lost his innocence#It's a Spider-Man complex: anyone can wear the mask but the mask by itself means nothing without the human behind it. a costume at best#he emulated his heroes down to the flaws and lost track of his origins like AM lost himself in the SoP and Katsuki was lost in his complex#yeah he needed to suffer that loss as big and. controversial as it is. If he can't have both now he's worse than useless-#an extra in his own story if you will- the same as his heroes but walking in reverse until he's questioning his role own in his story#Midoriya Izuku the character that you are-
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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sometimes I make a post and then have to save it to drafts so I can gauge if it’s too shallow/flippant for me to share with the general public.
#I love sharing all my true thoughts akskkskdjd#but a lot of my true thoughts are shallow! and flippant! and mean!#I have one on a former crush that I’m just ‘does this need to be said Maria DOES IT’#it probably doesn’t#as you can imagine this quality is both a strength and a huge liability in my work as a high school teacher#this is how my students tracked down my former college crush#because I accidentally gave them too much information because I simply love telling funny personal stories#wlldkkkekekekekkekekeke#(don’t worry nothing happened except the kids being like ‘Miss K. you have to shoot your shot!!!!!!!!’#the thing is. I HAD FORGOTTEN HIS LAST NAME#which is why I THOUGHT I WAS SAFE#but their little stalker minds triangulated the information available to them#and they found him#ugh it is for real such a flying too close to the sun trait of mine#because there is literally nothing I love more on this earth than making a lofty profound point and then immediately illustrating it#with something kind of mundane and ridiculous from the pantry closet of things that have happened to me#so I was SPEAKING ON LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT#and suddenly we were talking about Tyler from Italian 101#<<<<> SEE I DID IT AGAIN#but the personal details are what make it both fun and funny#anyway I’m just rambling#but sometimes I am like ‘there are too many strangers reading this blog you HAVE to get it together’
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been a while since ive had a spell of anxiety bad enough i genuinely can't tell how much im overreacting
#like AM i overreacting? almost certainly. are the REASONS for being anxious valid? might be tbh!! but then again maybe not#i really really hate this. i hate not being able to judge what is Reasonable what is Rational. most of the time although i cant dispel#the anxiety i can still on another level know that it is irrational and that tempers the effects. not this timeeeee#meeting with my mentor tomorrow im going to try to get things as clear as i can to move forward i just dont know if ill be able to make#myself explain how ive been feeling because im genuinely afraid ive been wasting both of our time by not taking enough initiative#like i think he thinks im much busier than i actually am but i have no idea what he thinks im Doing because he hasnt given me all that much#to do#(unless im missing something major which is very unlikely and not really worth worrying about i dont think)#but regardless i spend a Lot of my time just sort of whiling it away looking at literature that isnt really relevant scrolling thru shit i#dont care about on linkedin staring into space etc#and now the big meeting for the program is coming up and we still havent done the experiment we originally set out to do#and i really honestly think i couldve made more progress by now if id just decided to take things more into my own hands#but for some reason that didnt really occur to me until fairly recently and now it feels like too little too late#idk idk tbf im pretty sure most of the other people in this program have said they feel like they arent prepared for the meeting either#but like im unprepared for REAL for real and i know i couldve taken steps before now to avoid that#and yeah it comes down to feeling like ive wasted time and resources that couldve been used better by someone else#because they SHOULD be used i dont hate my job i dont hate the project or the program i think theyre all worth while#but somehow im just not transferring that into my day to day#BLEH. maybe hopefully i can get on a clearer track for the next month or so at least with this meeting tomorrow#personal tag
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...fuck
#so telling them went about aswell as I expected#i feel like shit#am I a shitty person?#I really care about them and I don't like knowing I've upset them#i hate it here#I miss when life was simple and everyone hated me#this is just such a messy situation and idk what to do#anyways I'm doing great#everything is fine#everything is normal#I definitely don't feel like I'm on the top of a roller coaster about to go down a steep drop on rusty tracks#it's fine :)
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Do you love this skull? And the old internet? And attribution? You might like this :)
#this is delightful#i really am enjoying the newish trend of tracking down sources and creators of iconic internet things#also i find it very funny and crazy that people finding old websites#can't seem to process the concept of personal webpages#so many times in these sorts of things i see creators puzzling over 'why this was made'#because we're so steeped in corporate hosted social media sites and presences#that younger folks are just too distanced from the idea of just#making a personal site with your own random stuff and interests#disconnected from a Facebook or tiktok curated page#go make a geocities site and recapture being free!#this has gotten away from me somewhat#but i really liked this video and all the effort that went into it#i remember being in 7th grade picking through various rudimentary search engines#because google didn't exist and different sites trawled different content#looking for cool gifs and art#because little pixelated dragon gifs were the coolest damn thing to me#yes I'm old as shit‚ sorry#and a lot of this video brought back some of that#i miss it#long live jazz skull#Youtube#skull#skeleton#Halloween#doot skull#trumpet skeleton#spooky gifs
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Born to play sims all day, forced to write essays for uni ✋️😩
#miss when I was like 9 and I would come home from school and play ts3 for 6 hours every day#i have 2000 words due for tuesday which shouldn't really be a problem#but it's so hard to concentrate and do it#like I set a goal of minimum 400 words today so I can get on track to finishing in time and it's 9pm and I still haven't gotten it done#but at rhe same time I don't really like playing sims in my laptop#and the ea app keeps messing itself up on ny laptop for some reason#like the game claims it isn’t installed#but when i try to reinstall it it says I have it and tells me to repair it#and tbf repairing fixes it but it's a reoccurring issue for some reason????#also struggling to get actors for our short film project which is part of my bachelor so that's fun 😁🔫#and while I'm at it I genuinely cannot wait to not share kitchen w strangers#i get so annoyed w the people i share w rn and then i feel bad for being annoyed at them#but they send like 5 pictures in the gc whenever there's crumbs in the counter#and they seem to be incapible of doing trash correctly despite there being written instructions on how to sort????#like I've had to take non plastic grabage out of the plastics bag???#+the girl who has cleaning reaponsibility this week asked for the floor to be cleaned so she could have a 'fresh start'#even tho the mess appeared on monday like it's ur week to clean?????#and then they can't even do the ONE thing I asked for and put the knives in the dishwasher w the blade down#it's just small things but I can't wait to have my own kitchen holy shit I've lived in this dorm for almost 3 years now#i feel like I sound like a terrible person when I complain about this but I genuinely did prefer when we didn’t talk to each other#anyway hopefully I can actually get my ass to do this assignment soon 🙏🙏🙏#nonsims#personal
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Thinking about the fact that in E-93742 Mason is Batman instead of Spider-Man which means he doesn’t have Juno which means he doesn’t have EITHER of his siblings


@johnnycagesleftnut lore, brother. Of my spidersona and this character I have based on you with the names you have selected
#what do you MEAN no evil scientist ever makes a clone of him and designs them to be evil and a weapon to kill the spider-man but said clone#has no evil in their heart much less for the boy they were made a clone of so they break out of the lab and run through the streets and#track him down and try and warn him of said evil scientists attempted plan but they have a chip in their neck and then the scientist#activates it so the two fight while the clone is partly conscious of what they’re doing but cannot stop themselves because they aren’t in#control of their body while spider man is pulling all of his punches even more than he usually does and rips the chip out and takes a look#at said clone and decides this is not some CLONE this is his twin brother#what do you MEAN he doesn’t take a look at his clone and face his biggest fear of all which is letting people in because after Somebody#went missing he isolated himself and the first time he trusted someone after his sister’s disappearance it was Skip Westcott. and then he#doesn’t let anyone in again for the longest time but he looks at his clone and decides to let them in and be friends and protect each other#like no one protected him#like no one protected Somebody#what do you MEAN in E-93742 the only person he actually let in after his sister’s disappearance made him a VICTIM.#I’M GONNA BE SICK
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literally yesterday i was saying that i was relieved she turned up alive and i can’t stop wondering if she was gone when i said that
#she’d moved so far away#so there was only so much mom could do to help her#and then suddenly communicating with her became impossible#she contacted her family (that lived in the same area)#and they didn’t really take it seriously#then months later they reached out to mom asking if she’d heard from their sister#which no#mom couldn’t join in the search because she vanished in an area so far away#but when the missing persons report was filed she cooperated to fill in the blanks#since mom was determined to be the last person she was in contact with#a long time passes#we’re pretty sure she’s a jane doe#finally! she’s tracked down#not dead!#at a homeless shelter (homeless camp? i don’t know the terminology for the situation where there’s no roof)#this was a VERY recent devolopment#anyway she’s dead now#the heat took her out#120 degrees F where she was
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"The lawyer?", Leslie started, peeling off his coat and placing it over the back of his chair. Sabrina shook her head, "He's not our problem." He strode over, taking a seat at the edge of her desk as he stole the final bite of her croissant, "Not from what Ollie told me." "How many people did you tell, Oliver?" Oliver shrugged, hiding his face behind one of the files he had open on his desk, "I plead the fifth." The eyebrow Leslie quirked told her everything she needed to know before he even elaborated, "Oliver was straight up updating us all live in your Birthday group chat." "Unbelievable. And here I thought you were working hard, McKenzie." A wink was sent her way, "You're underestimating me. I can absolutely multitask, Donovan."
#Oliver and Calahan would love each other <3 <3#like straight up become best friends#y'all imagine me airdropping Ollie at some point in the main WIP just so he can annoy John in canon too 🤣#Like the whole missing persons division just getting worried about Leslie going missing and tracking his ass down (“NOT ONE OF OURS; NO.”)#oc: oliver mckenzie#wip: a trial of errors#oc: leslie parish#oc: sabrina donovan#dialogue snippet#wip snippet#fc5 deputy#fc5 ocs#fc5 au#ocs#character dynamics#original characters
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👀
jack time :D huge shoutout to this fic bc i have based like 90% of my jack inspiration from it it's so fucking good.
jack is like. the Oldest of the mansion's permanent residents for a long while, if not in general. i'm still unsure what i want to do with tim/brian, but jane at least only visits due to having a family on the outside, so a lot of the time the care taking is left to jack. (slender's fully there, he just doesn't give a fuck to keep the kids from killing each other/cooking meals for them.) incidentally, jack has developed a horrible case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome because. obviously. him being the mansion's kind of sole doctor does not help at all, because not only is everyone else's well-being down to him, if someone gets hurt (which happens often), he's the only one that can help, and if he fails, their death will be on him.
tim and brian and jane try to help as much as they can, but they don't get it. jack can never fully let himself rely on them, because they'll eventually leave. jane has her own family to take care of and god only knows what tim and brian do when they're not around. jack will Always have to maintain independence. he can't let his guard down. if he gets reliant on the other "adults", something could happen when they're not around, and he won't be sharp enough anymore to deal with it.
and i've spoken about this already but. jack is also just a kid! everyone thinks he's older because of his maturity/unnatural height, but he's just 16! the same age as natalie! it takes a very long time for them to realize that, even himself, bc he doesn't actually remember his age due to the ritual. it's only when brian eventually raises his suspicions that they try to do some digging and find out. oh. that's a kid
[send me a "👀" and i'll ramble about an au]
#muse talk#anon#ask game#creepyposting#imagine me spinning a wheel deciding what character i wanna talk about for these#bc that is. essentially what's happening#brian gets suspicious bc despite jack's maturity#he does subconsciously let himself be a kid at times. despite his best efforts#usually when tim/brian/jane have been around for a while and he drops his walls a bit#jack's intelligent and cautious but. when he's left alone with like jeff and nina and sally. he acts just like any teenager would#idk How they'd find out but ben would probably have something to do with it#i imagine jack was classified as a missing person at Some Point#although it'd be difficult to track him down because Literally all they have is his name. which is. one of the most common names in the US#bc a lot of his defining features (eyes + mouth) were changed post-ritual#they eventually get there though. to the adults' horror
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#the boy update is that ive calmed down significantly and am once again a Human#i'll see him when i see him. im not gonna stress anymore#hes busy working like crazy anyway and i need to get a job NDNJDDNDNDMDM#like i still really like him but i think my priorities have been Fucked NDNDJDJDJDJDJD#BUT IM BACK ON TRACK. YA.#my other friends also back from her trip so thats exciting. i missed her JDJJDDJDDDD#i just..... its gonna take me awhile to ask to hang out. im just SHY and also I HAVENT FELT LIKE SEEING ANYONE DJDJZJSKSKSKSKSKSKS#but now im better... yeah i think i just needed like to be a hermit for a bit#plus i suddenly am super busy this week like what the fuck. family AND friend things. like did everyone just Wake Up all of a sudden NDJJD#like we may even see my cousins from alberta. im like JDJDD OK???#havent seen them in like.... im gonna say 10+ years. and of course its this week that theyre here with my uncle#who ive only met like idk 3 times JDJJDKDKKDJDJD#and of those times... hes been drunk out his mind i think... 2.5/3 NDJDJD#i think hes sober now tho????#idk. we might not even see them. my moms side is really flakey 💀#but hes my moms fav brother and shes his fave sister so i hope they get to see each other NDJDJJDJDJD theyre only a year apart#its so weird bc him and my mom were so close but then like... lets just say Life and he moved away and ya zzjjdjdkdj#they had this like. super long like 4 hour talk on the phone a few minths ago and idk i think it cleared up like the last 30 years. idk man#my moms side is crazy. thats all i'll say#personal
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“A part of me still thinks we’ll find our way back around.”
I hope we do ❤️
I left the church a while ago and I don’t think I have any blessings I can actually give but the best one I can think of is that I hope you find a place for your art to go
#let me know if you ever make it and I’ll do the same#in a few years maybe I’ll find my way to the tiny seaside down where all I have to do is write#and maybe you’ll find your way to where your art needs to be#i left religion for a reason but I do miss it#and one of the things I miss the most is the sense of determinism#you’re just becoming the person you need to be to get where you’re meant to be in the end#I don’t regret being a lawyer#but a part of me hopes desperate that I’m a lawyer because the version of me that becomes an author needed to be a lawyer first#when I was little I used to bookmark moments in my mind#I’d be doing something random and think ‘I’m going to think about this in one five ten years’ for no other reason than I wanted to track#the passage of time. ten years seemed so far ahead looking forward but I knew it’d be small looking back and that always seemed silly to me#I remember sitting outside a dressing room on an unremarkable day for no other reason than I decided I wanted to remember it in a decade#anyway I don’t do that so much anymore#but I think I’ll remember this in five years#and I hope when I remember it we’re both where we want to be#I hope you find your way back around#I hope you’re happy where you go#and I hope you can create everything your heart wants to let out
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Today was an Adventure:
-ordered alcoholic beverage online a couple days ago, culminating in me running out into the wet street without shoes to catch the UPS truck
-impulse bought a heart-shaped mini Bundt cake maker (not just a pan, but a MAKER - you plug it in and pour in the batter and it cooks the cake for you)
-also impulse bought Lindoor truffles whose flavor was listed as "dark strawberry" and I know that that's just dark chocolate with a strawberry filling but "dark strawberry" sounds amazing as a concept
#gonna tell the Ordering Alcohol Online saga in the tags#mostly for my own sake/posterity#so I wanted to buy a bottle of a particular alcoholic beverage as part of a Valentine's day gift#but they don't sell it around here so I had to order it#now of course you have to show an ID and sign for the package when you receive it on account of alcohol#but I live on the third floor of my apartment and the doorbells don't work#so I had a distinct feeling I was going to miss the delivery#and I TOOK EVERY PRECAUTION#before making the order I called the company and asked if they could call or text me upon arrival#and they were like ''well we work with UPS etc. so it's up to them but try sending us an email about it it might work''#so I made the order and sent the email#yesterday I popped down to the business on the first floor and was like ''hey I'm ordering alcohol''#''if they knock on the door would you be able to sign for it?''#the person was like ''well I'm here from 8 to 4 so if it arrives in that time then sure''#today I see an email: order is out for delivery#THE EMAIL IS IN MY PROMOTIONS FOLDER MIND YOU. I WOULDN'T HAVE FOUND IT IF I WASN'T LOOKING CLOSELY#so I'm compulsively checking the tracking page all day#it says it's supposed to arrive at 7 pm#4 pm comes and goes and no dice#I leave a post-it note on the door: ''dear deliveryperson the doorbells don't work please call/text the number on the back of this note''#6 o clock rolls around. I am still compulsively checking#and then in the middle of watching a Brennan Lee Mulligan video with my bf I compulsively check one more time#''delivery was attempted''#so I hightail it downstairs in the hopes I can catch the UPS people#I don't even stop to put on shoes#I open the door; no one's there but I see the UPS truck across the street#I run out onto the Very Wet sidewalk in my socks#wait for a break in the oncoming cars and jaywalk straight to the truck#it's empty#I sit on a nearby low wall and wait until I see a couple guys in UPS uniforms coming around the corner
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