#tullius simping post

[theultimatedisaster]

„Why are you joining the Legion in every Skyrim playthrough?”

Me:

I mean, it’s also because the Stormcloaks suck but he is very much the main reason why I do so

[alexjcrowley]

Tag yourself "Ancient Rome main characters but it's just very violent personal attacks" - Pompeius-Ceasar Civil Wars edition + Cato The Elder because yes:

Marcus Tullius Cicero

you just can't shut the fuck up

that's lucky you're a silver tongue devil, though

always bringing up old merits

you love poetry, poetry just doesn't love you

somehow you always choose the worst side in any argument

you have a very unique way to tell a story- the way in which you look like the hero

I'm not saying you have a victimistic attitude, but-

Titus Pomponius Atticus

you may be pretty smart, and pretty kind, and very pretty, but you're constantly overshadowed by your more popular friends

you're the Benvolio of the group

can't you just, for once, pick a side in your life? Would it kill you?

I don't know what to tell you, bestie, there would be lots of things to tell, you're just not popular enough that people would actually know what I'm talking about

also stop giving your money away to your friends, I get it- you're a nice person, but they're going to drain you in the end

Cato Maior (Cato The Elder)

the grandpa friend

you just realized you're old and now you spend all your time hating on kids like 2 years younger than you saying stuff like all the new generations suck

Congratulations, you're a boomer on the inside

You didn't download tik tok because it's a matter of principle

🌌salty🌌

you complain about everything CAN YOU STOP COMPLAINING FOR FIVE MINUTES

People just turn off their attention when you talk for more than 5 minutes about how influencers ruined the world

Julius Caesar

you're a slut, both in a metaphorical and literal sense

you're competitive in a toxic way

you kin Regina George

you walk around like everybody wants to fuck you, both in a metaphorical and a literal sense

Main Character Syndrome alert

you think Patrick Bateman is a role model

Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus (or Pompey The Great)

if Julius Caesar is Regina George, you're Gretchen Wieners

No, no, no, better: you're Heather Duke

walking second place medal

you're rich, you're clever, you're ambitious, just not enough

honestly I'm so sorry, you're great, you're just severely underrated

you're into pirates? Historically speaking, you should be

Marcus Licinius Crassus

who needs a personality when you're rich?

that's all you're ever going to be to people: rich and privileged, and therefore hated with the fiery of a thousand suns

you post Instagram stories with bags with Chanel/Louis Vuitton/Gucci logo

you drink Starbucks. In 2022.

it doesn't matter whether you say you support or you don't support Bezos and Musk: wake up, honey, your entire lifestyle is a hymn to capitalism

Gaius Valerius Catullus

ah! simp

they're never going to call you back, you need to understand this

you can passive aggressive vague post about them as much as you want, they're never going to care and you're just making yourself a laughingstock to anybody else

you loooooved the tumblr girl culture

odi et amo is NOT making you look deep and intellectual, use literally any other latin quotation for your status, I'm begging you

[shivering-isles-cryptid]

Skyrim Incorrect Quotes: Laylah Bundle Pack Edition

Some small quotes about my Skyrim OC

Mirabelle: We’ve had multiple complaints and reports about your experiments.

Laylah: Some people are just jealous of my awesomeness and superior magic skills

Mirabelle: You gave multiple slaughter fish legs and the ability to breathe in land and then released them in town.

Laylah: They’re also jealous of my ability to run faster than them.

Skjor: This is Widowmaker, because no man will return from an encounter with it

Aela: This is Sharpshot, as the only thing sharper than the arrows is my aim

Vilkas: This is Blood Drinker, as once it is unsheathed, it can only be returned after tasting the blood of its enemies

Laylah: This is Steve.

Brynjolf: What ya got there lass?

Laylah: Mercer’s diary

Rune: That’s extremely disrespectful of you.

Brynjolf: What’s it say about me?

Nazir: You’ve completed every contract I’ve given you in under a month, how do you do it?

Laylah: Skill, finesse, and the blessings of our Dark Lord.

Babette: Its dumb luck, isn’t it?

Laylah: In every way.

Arngeir: You’ve learned a great deal of the voice already Dragonborn, I believe there is little left for us to teach you.

Laylah: You taught me two words and then sent me to die. There better be little left.

Laylah: How do you sit in this chair? The stones a pain in the ass.

Ulfric: You get used to it.

Galmar: The stone’s cushioned by his massive butt.

Tullius: We need you on our side, the Empire…

Laylah: Your Empire. Not mine. Redguard, remember?

Rikke: You can’t possibly side with Ulfric!

Laylah: Nope, I’m a third party. Welcome the Army of Laylah Rulez!

Tullius & Rikke: …

Meridia: A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!

Laylah: Nope.

Meridia: Wait! No! Don’t close the chest! Come back!

Harkon: I can think of only one reward fitting your task.

Laylah: Is it you?

Harkon: My blood!… Wait, what?

Laylah(simping over the vampire DILF): Nothing, continue.

Thanks for reading. Laylah is always the OC I have in mind when I make my Incorrect Quotes, but I always just put Dragonborn so y’all can just put in your instead. I’ll probably make more posts about her now that she’s apart of this account, but I’ll still do my usual Incorrect Quote stuff.

[theultimatedisaster]

Me being normal about Tullius

[theultimatedisaster]

This!!

The thing about Tullius that I think doesn’t get acknowledged enough is the character development he goes through during the civil war quest. He literally starts with pretty much hating Skyrim and complaining about a bunch of stuff relating to it, but in the end, he starts to appreciate the country as well as its people. My man really goes through a character development that I haven’t seen with Ulfric during the Stormcloak version of the civil war quest (in fact, I dare to say that Ulfric gets worse with every Stormcloak victory).

Another thing that I wish was acknowledged more with Tullius is that he genuinely isn’t some kind of Thalmor bootlicker. He literally makes it clear multiple times that he hates the Thalmor and that he’s sure that they are somehow responsible for the unrest in Skyrim (which they indeed are). You can see this in his voicelines at the Thalmor embassy party, as well as his voicelines during both endings of the civil war quest.

Not to mention that the reason he’s so grumpy is that he got sent to Skyrim to deal with the civil war with but a fraction of the Imperial forces (to which the emperor also later rejected his request of reinforcements) and he had to deal with it with what he had on hand (the little amount of legionnaires that came to Skyrim with him from Cyrodiil as well as local recruits). And despite all this, he managed to capture his very opponent after just a few months of being in Skyrim (in which I presume he’s never been before) and if it weren’t for Alduin, Ulfric Stormcloak would’ve been executed in Helgen.

So yeah. I dare to say that Tully deserves a well deserved break and a good life in Skyrim after the war.

((Ffs if only he was marriagable so that I could shower him with love and affection because I love him and he deserves it skrbsjwkeh))

Tullius at the party and hating every moment:

"Just between you and me, a lot of what Ulfric says about the Empire is true."

"I swear Elenwen holds these parties just to make the Empire look bad. Almost makes me want to join the Stormcloaks."

Tullius disliking Skyrim but finding it's not entirely bad:

"I suspect Skyrim to be my home for many years. Can't say I'll ever get used to the damn cold, or understand these Nords... but I've come to respect them. The harshness of Skyrim has a way of carving a man down to his true self."

I was surprised the first time he said this because before this it seemed like he was in a rush to finish up and leave Skyrim once he had accomplished what he was sent to do. Hence no time or need to try to understand the people and their customs.

Later I understood he had gotten a tight deadline by the Emperor but none of the reinforcements he had asked for. So he was extremely focused on stopping the rebellion FAST and all other things (including scheduled meetings with the Jarl of Solitude) could wait.

Must be hard to stay loyal in a situation like that and no wonder he was often in a very foul mood.

[theultimatedisaster]

😭😭😭 lmaooo what

What simping does to a mf

(Dw I’m a huge simp too and I completely understand)

Elenwen: “General Tullius, stop! By the authority of the Thalmor, I’m taking custody of these prisoners.”

General Tullius: “Ambassador Elenwen. I guessed that you wouldn’t want to miss an execution. Do you know my guest, Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm, once a candidate to Skyrim’s throne, traitor of the Empire? If you want Ulfric alive, you’ll have to take him by force!”

Elenwen: “You’re making a terrible mistake…”

General Tullius: “I will put an end to this rebellion here and now, rightfully in my position as Legion General.”

Elenwen: “Your Emperor will hear of this. By the terms of the White-Gold Concordat, I operate with full Imperial authority!”

General Tullius: “All right, let’s go.”

–A reconstructed cut scene from Skyrim’s opening. In it, Tullius rebuffs the desperate attempt from the Thalmor to save Ulfric from execution.

[theultimatedisaster]

YOU GET IT!!!

BETHESDA YOU FUCKING COWARDS LET ME MARRY TULLIUS I FUCKING LOVE HIM AND HE IS LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON IN ALL OF SKYRIM THAT I GENUINELY WANT TO BE WITH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!

Why can't I marry this old man??? Please??

My Dragon born currently because she can't marry the grumpy general: