#uhhhhh yeah feeling normal and happy and normal

[stardustcleaningguy]

the evil spirits are whispering in my ears again they are telling me to think abt the tragic siblings again

[cry4mina]

Changing Lenses

(Momo x fem!reader)

Word Count: 12.3k

Slightly Angsty (but for like 2 minutes) Fluff/Smut

Summary: Your ex girlfriend’s best friend transfers to your school and you’re forced to complete a photography project with her. In time you realize that maybe she’s not who you thought she was…maybe even way better than you hoped.

TW: drinking, food, eating, camping, sex, oral, a lil degradation, a little choking, a little this and that. Taking a picture mid-sex, uhhhhh talks of abusive moments in past relationships. There’s a bear.

AN: Happy Early Momo daaaaaay! Thank you to @psylocke142 for yapping with me about this and helping fuel my delusion!

Please enjoy and drink some water today! Ask are always open and feedback is always welcome! :)🖤

“I’m actually kind of excited for this project! I’m really hoping whoever I’m paired with wants to get the nature prompt too. Especially because the mountains are literally right there.” pointing out the window to show an array of different hilltops that you and your friends frequented for the trails.

“I hope I get the ocean.” Tzuyu, your best friend, flips her hair and checks out the girl who sat in the corner of the study hall.

“You just want to work with Chaeyoung…and she wants the ocean prompt…you can’t even swim.” smirking and giving a light chuckle while shaking your head no in a half hearted tease.

Tzuyu whips her head around, gawking at you while giving her classic “oh my god shut up” look before giving up and swooning over Son Chaeyoung again.

“Well…maybe she will teach me.” sighing as she rests her head on her palm and daydreams about getting partnered with her crush.

“I truly don’t even care who I get partnered with, I just want the mountains. It would be fun to go explore and find animals in their natural habitats, don’t you think?” excitedly leaving your lips as Tzuyu is lost in her delusion.

“Alright everyone!” the professor calms everyone down, bringing their attention to the front of the room.

“We will be doing the pairings for the project shortly, but before we do, I’ve got a new student want to introduce you to!” ushering them into the class room.

Bright blonde hair in a bob style was the first thing you noticed, a red polo that’s cropped and had white stripes across the shirt horizontally was second, the pants were brown and high waisted and her sneakers tied all the colors together.

The girl turns to face the class and immediately your stomach drops, a small gasp follows the dip in your stomach when you realize who she is and why you know her.

“Everyone! This is Momo. She just transferred here from across town. Momo is a very talented photographer, some of her pictures have been featured on the schools website! We are very excited to have you here Momo.” the professor nods her head at Momo and then looks at the class.

“And I’m sure everyone is going to make you feel welcome, right class?” a glare from the teacher and everyone is nodding their head.

Momo finds a seat in the back of the class room next to Chaeyoung and makes small talk with her and you try not to freak out.

“Damn, did you see blondie? She’s kinda cute.” biting her lip and making her eyebrows dance at you continuing her normal playful antics.

“Tzu…I hate to break this to you but no way in HELL am I speaking to that woman.” the distain in your voice could’ve been picked up a mile away.

“Why not? What’s wrong with her? She’s got a fashion sense, the blonde bob is working for her AND she’s a good photogra-”

“That’s Sana’s best friend, Tzuyu.” cutting her off mid sentence so she could understand the gravity of this.

“Sana’s best friend?? Oh, shit.” her typical doe-eyed expression molted into a stunned appearance as she brings her full attention to you for the first time today.

“Yeah, oh shit is right.” rolling your eyes and crossing your arms before laying your head on the desk.

Sana….Minatozaki Sana, your ex-girlfriend. The relationship between the two of you was…well, it wasn’t great.

Hence, the ex part.

You dated for a few years and she was always busy with everyone but you, including Momo. Prioritizing everything but you and your relationship, it hurt you. Of course, it hurt you. At the drop of a hat, you would’ve done anything for her but it wasn’t a shared sentiment.

Not that you and Momo didn’t get along but she always kept to herself when you were around, not wanting to partake in conversations, even small talk, seemingly keeping a distance.

Getting over Sana wasn’t easy by any means. The way she made you feel altered your brain chemistry, and not for the better. Feeling like an accessory to her, only really calling you when she wanted you around her arm, was excruciating every single time.

Still trying to heal from the open wound Sana left you with, you remember the times that didn’t seem so bad. The memories flashing before your eyes before settling coldly in your chest, you weren’t going to crucify Sana but you did still hold some anger towards her.

“Y/n!” professor shouting your name to get your attention.

Startled by this, you jump in your seat - causing a small wave of laughter through the classroom.

“You’ll be paired with Momo. I trust that you will teach her anything she might be behind on, should there be anything.”

The fakest smile you can muster graces your face, even if you were internally screaming - hellfire, blood and brimstone in your lungs because of course this is your luck.

“I’d be happy to.” through clenched teeth.

The professor gives you a strange look and then carries on with pairing people. Tzu and Chae got paired together, Tzuyu almost fell out of her seat when the professor partnered them up.

“You will be responsible for taking pictures of animals and their natural habitats in order to capture unique moments in nature as if it’s for national geographic. Due to to safety concerns, we will be excepting shots from farther away than normal. If any of you see a larger animal that can cause harm, DO NOT APPROACH IT. I’m looking at you, Chaeyoung. That’s why you and Tzuyu are paired up so she can keep you out of trouble…and why you got the ocean prompt you wanted…I don’t want another replay of last time, do you understand?” the tone of her voice is somehow stern, yet playful.

Last project, Chaeyoung befriended the raccoons behind the school, bringing them into class to show them off with the pictures she took of them. They created a massive mess in the classroom and have been trying to sneak back into the building sense.

“I wouldn’t be able to bring a shark in here anyways…” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes at the professor before making eye contact with Tzuyu and offering a wink to her.

Chae has to know, especially with the shade of red that Tzuyu turned when she saw the wink, along with the little gasp - she turned away and proceeded to gay panic to you about it.

Too lost in thought and worried about how this project was going to go, unable to think about anything else. You even considered not participating in it, despite how excited you were moments ago.

It was too big of a grade to skip out on, unfortunately.

The bell rings and you are out the door so quickly, leaving Tzuyu behind and practically running to your car.

“Hey! Wait!” a voice calls from behind you.

Stopping dead in your tracks, you knew exactly who it was.

Tensing up, you take a deep breath and turn around slowly to see Momo jogging towards you, trying to catch up to you with a sheepish smile on her face.

“Hey.” offered to her only out of wanting to be polite.

“Hi.” she offers the same fake niceties back to you.

Both of you shuffle your feet around, not really knowing what to say before she breaks the silence.

“I know this is going to be a little weird considering…but I know you’re very creative and I did always admire the pictures that you took so maybe we can put all the weirdness aside and just do the project?” there’s something genuine about this that peaks your interest.

Hirai Momo, best friend of Minatozaki Sana was being nice to you…?

“I can put my anger aside to work together in this sense.” Momo squints her eyes at you.

There it is.

“HA! Your anger? What could you possibly be angry about Momo? Me breaking up with your best friend because she treated me like shit and decided to only be my girlfriend when she wanted to? Or was it something else?” the sharpness of your tone and remarks catch her off guard, not expecting you to react the way you did.

“Wow, Sana was right…you really are a bitch.”

“Wow, you really are Sana’s best friend…can’t even think of a proper comeback, can you? Do you get mad when people stand up to you too?” rolling your eyes and sighing.

“You have my number. Text me when you’re less…whatever this weird defensive thing is.” turning and walking away for this weird situation you found yourself in.

Very happy to find your car, you slip into the drivers seat and take a deep breath. Unable to believe this was happening to you. She was pissed about what exactly?

“I guess it doesn’t matter.” said to yourself as you turn the key, sparking the ignition and driving off of campus to your apartment.

—

“I can’t fucking believe her.” pacing around your small shared apartment on the northside while Tzuyu is checked out and scribbling hearts with and initials, T+C to be exact.

Stopping in your tracks, you turn to face Tzuyu who is laying down on her stomach on the couch, kicking her feet and humming to herself.

“Tzu…are you even listening?” snarky in your question because you knew the answer was no.

“Of course! Momo sucks and Sana sucks. That’s the tldr.” going back to doodling her hearts in her notebook.

Scoffing at her, you plop next to her on the couch and turn on the TV. Grabbing your back pack and pulling out your laptop.

Time to make a list of the animals that you’d try to take pictures of, depending on what was out at the time. I was close to fall so the odds of a few different animals being visible was high.

The national park website was a nightmare to navigate, you click on a few different links and compile a list of what you should be looking for.

-***Otters*** (prevalent in national parks, should be able to find them easily- in or around the rivers)

-***Deer*** (also prevalent in parks, kind of everywhere so just…look?)

-***Black Bears*** (omnivores and should get picture from distance if seen)

-***Barn Owl*** (Not rare, but cute)

-***Maybe a leopard..?*** (super rare, less that 100 but what a dream that would be)

-***Whatever else we see***

Focused on your research, your phone startles you when it goes off. Looking down to see her name just the way you typed it when you first met.

***Momo:*** Hey, I’m sorry about today. [4:12pm]

***Momo:*** I know that this is awkward and I’m sorry for being passive aggressive. [4:13pm]

***You:*** It’s fine. [4:15pm]

***Momo:*** So…how do you want to do this project? [4:17pm]

***You:*** Well, I’m going to go camping in the mountains that we have our assignment in this weekend. Friday to Sunday. [4:20pm]

***Momo:*** Great, I’m coming with you. I’ll pick you up at 3pm on Friday. [4:23pm]

***You:*** Fine. [4:25pm]

Tossing your phone on the couch, you look over at Tzuyu who is still in her own little world, texting who you can only assume is Chaeyoung.

“Oh my god, Chaeyoung just asked me if I wanted to go to the beach with her!” screeched out over the movie playing in the background.

“…For the project?” coming across as bitter in the moment, stress getting to you more than usual.

“Well…I mean, yes. But think about what you wear to the beach…and also it’s the beach!” jumping out of her previous position to hop up and down in place.

Rolling your eyes, you stand up and gather your things, backpack, laptop, and phone before making your way to your room.

“I’m happy for you, Tzu” trying not to sound dismissive as you close the door behind you and put your stuff down next to your desk in the corner.

Taking a deep breath- you try to forget. Not just the Momo situation but what it brings up for you. All the thoughts about Sana rush back into your mind’s eye, remembering all of what she put you through and the harsh words exchanged when the unhealthy relationship was brought to a point.

A single tear falls from your eye, though this was a year ago…it still bothered you. It rewired the way you thought about relationships and life with others. It made you want to isolate as she would say some horrific things to you subtly and wore you down until you thought she was the only person who could truly love you for you.

It was heavy to carry on your shoulders.

Plopping down on the bed, you try to decompress a little bit. A few deep breaths just to try and focus yourself back on the present, but it failed.

Dissociating for the rest of the night seemed to be your body’s plan, trying not to hurt your own feelings by reliving the memories with Sana and the future anxieties about having to work closely with Hirai Momo.

—

“I think that is everything.” whispered to yourself, sifting through the few changes of clothes and the camping equipment you decided to bring with you.

Most of the bigger things were in the truck of your car. The small grill, the wood for the fire, and a a cooler for some food you were going to bring with you. The tents you were bringing are currently tangled in your back seat but you would sort that out while you wait for Momo to arrive.

Not putting it past her to just leave you high and dry, you wonder if she will actually show up. Besides, her best friend was flaky, why wouldn’t she be?

Bringing down your bags to the car, you see Tzuyu is already gone. Chaeyoung and her went to the beach about an hour down south and rented an Air B&B so they could stay the weekend and complete their project.

A smirk on your face, you wonder how much of the project they will actually do considering Tzuyu is head over heels for Chaeng and Chaeyoung seemed interested enough to pay for the rental on the beach, which wasn’t exactly cheap for a broke college student.

Looking at your phone, the time reads 2:17pm. Momo said she would be here at 3pm so you’ve got 45-ish minutes to untangle these tents. Arguably the most important part of camping.

Not even bothering to ask Momo if she was going to bring anything, you just assumed she wouldn’t so you packed just about everything you would need - she would probably be unbearable the entire time and just complain like a certain someone she was close to.

Rolling your eyes at this scenario, you keep tugging at the ropes and trying to undo the massive knots that built up and strengthened over the years of sitting in storage.

A honk startles you out of concentration.

Looking up, you see a black SUV in the parking lot behind you. Blonde bob in the driver’s seat subtly waving at you. Waving her to come over to you, you say nothing. Just point at the pile of supplies that will sustain you for the next few days.

“Do you want me to load this up while you…uh, untangle that?” shouted out the window of the car.

“No, I’ll help you.” putting the tent back in the back seat of the car and closing the door, planning on returning to that after everything was packed up in the car.

Momo turns the car off and gets out. She’s wearing a crop top and some cargo pants, a little out of character for her but okay…we are camping, after all.

She walks around the car to open the trunk, you can’t help but notice how toned she is. Her abs and arms are muscular…No, no. You can’t have those thoughts about her. This is Sana’s best friend, snap out of it.

Bringing a few duffle bags to the trunk, you toss them in the back. Momo grabs the cooler full of ice and various food items and puts it in the trunk without even wincing….damn, she’s strong.

Once everything was done, Momo closed the trunk and you both got in the car.

“Alright, are you ready?” looking over at you, she was trying to be polite though you had a hard time believing that.

“Yeah.” softly as you turn your attention to your phone and try to tune her out.

“Are you sure? Because we are going to be out in the middle of a national forest so I just want to make sure everything you want, you have.” the tone this comes with is more caring that snarky, which surprises you.

“I’m sure.” Looking up from your phone to give her the smallest smile you could, she returns the gesture and starts driving towards the park where you would spend the next few days together.

—

The drive was long with no talking between the two of you, grateful she had good taste in music at least, you can’t help but wonder if this is as awkward for her as it is for you. 2 hours of music you both enjoyed was a better start to this adventure than you anticipated.

You didn’t know Momo well, but you knew her well enough to know that you had a few things in common. Photography being the biggest one, but you’re now discovering that music taste is also something that you shared.

“I love this song.” softly to her as she turns into the park.

“Me too.” as she pulled up to the small building that blocks off the entrance and rolls her window down.

“Good Evening! Do you have a reservation?” the man dressed in all khaki cheerfully asks as you pull out your ID.

“Yes, it should be under L/n Y/n.” chiming in from the seat over and passing your ID to him.

“Great, give me one moment.” the man walks back to the office and does something on his computer before returning with a tag for the rearview mirror of the car.

“You ladies will be on lot 64! Please remember to throw away your trash and leave the site how you found it! Here is a can of bear mace, just in case as it is the season where they are preparing to go into hibernation. Please also remember to not leave any food out as that attracts them! Enjoy your stay!” the man taps the car lightly and waves you off.

Find the spot was tricky, the numbers were not in order at all but you managed. Happy to see the spot was a little deeper in the woods and closer to the trails than you thought it would be - you could take better pictures this way and it was secluded, which was always nice.

Momo put the car in park and hopped out. You took your time, putting the bear mace in the glove box, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes before getting out.

She’s already in the trunk, unloading things and putting them where she thought they would go.

Helping her in this task, you start setting up.

Placing the wood to the side and gathering some of the dry leaves from the trees around you, being sure to push them away from the fire pit before building up the wood so it would catch easier.

The silence between the two of you is awkward, wondering if there would be any reprieve to the tension of being out here with someone you only saw in a negative light.

“Hey Y/n…” the tone takes you off guard, it sounds concerned.

“Yes, Momo?”

“Did you remember to pack the tents you were untangling?” her brows are furrowed, glaring at you because she already knows the answer.

“…Shit.”

“Shit is right… Don’t worry, that’s why I told you I was driving.” turning around to face the trunk of her car, before crawling inside.

“What do you mean?” confusion paints a picture on your face as you walk over and watch her pull a latch on the back seats and push them down, they hit the front and end up at an angle.

“Well, your car is a car. This being an SUV, if it rained or got too cold or anything, we could just sleep in the back. Like a back up plan, you know?” jumping out, she walks over to the driver’s seat and scoots it all the way up, doing the same for the passenger seat.

The back seats slip down past the front seats and land flatly, creating a somewhat spacious area. There is a small handle located on the floor of trunk in the SUV, Momo tugs on the latch and you hear the bulky plastic click, opening up her spare tire compartment.

“Can you toss me the sleeping bags?” a hand reaching out to catch them while she holds the door open.

Doing as she says, you bring her the sleeping bags and watch as she tugs a massive king sized fleece blanket out from the compartment and close it.

“I’m going to get a fire going…” quietly as she rustles around with the bags, linking them together and getting tangled in them.

“K!” shouted back to you as she starts to lay them flat and spread them out to fit the entire back of her car and partially up the sides of the back doors.

Walking over to the fire pit that previously had your attention, shoving more of the dried leaves into the bottom and stacking them against the wood that was holding itself up. Sparking your lighter, you put the flame to the kindling and let it catch before backing up.

The fire took no time to roar in front of you, catching the logs quickly and creating a lovely source of heat.

“Wow, I didn’t know you were a boy scout.” Momo walked over and nudged you playfully.

Smirking at the comment, you catch yourself before she sees the pleasant reaction from you. Brows furrowing before a monotonous dry “whatever,” leaves your lips.

“I’m going to walk down this trail and see what we are working with…stay with the fire.” before grabbing your backpack with your camera equipment and scurrying away from her.

There was little daylight left but you needed some time away from her, you were going to follow the path so it’s not like you would get lost. You just wanted a breather and to scout the area that you were in for potential spots to get the pictures you needed for this project.

It was astounding to you that she was being so…civil, especially considering the interaction you had with her on campus just a few days earlier. Deep in thought with this, you walk down the path, leaves crunching under your feet.

Some how the deep thoughts turned into you remembering her abs…how chiseled they were…and her arm muscles and the way she carried all that equipment without even breaking a sweat. Unable to remove her from your mind, you were frustrated with yourself.

Of course she was attractive, she always was but you can’t help but see her in a different light now. Not even knowing if she resented you for the past, it seems like she’s willing to let go of whatever grudge she might have been holding onto and that settled your mind more than you anticipated.

The crisp fall air was lovely this time of year, just nice enough to wear a hoodie and some jeans and be comfortable.

Perfect for this adventure, even if it was with Momo…but was Momo who you thought she was?

Rustling behind you startles you, freezing in place as you try to gauge where the sound was coming from. Rotating your back pack, you pull your camera out of it very slowly so whatever was behind you didn’t hear or run away as it might be an opportunity to snag a picture.

The sounds of the twigs snapping behind you was light, nothing that would’ve been a threat to you, thankfully. Quietly turning in place, a deer reveals itself to you from behind the shrubs of the path you had just walked past.

Looking over at you, you stand very very still, not wanting to frighten the deer…thought it was definitely a buck, big points on the antlers that were velvety, typical for this time of year, though you had never seen it yourself.

Lifting your camera to angle the shot properly, you are sure to zoom in on his face and click. Capturing the stillness of him in a millisecond. He hears the camera go off and looks directly at you.

A bit of nervousness shivers through you as you make eye contact with the buck, not too sure about the temperament when they’re in this part of their natural cycle.

Despite this, you take a few more shots of him. He decides you are not a threat and simply carries on his way.

Flipping through the pictures you just took, there is one in particular of him looking directly at you that you fall in love with. Starting to walk back towards camp as the evening turns into night, you reach camp right as the last drop of sun sulks behind the hills.

“Hey, Momo. Look at this.” walking over to where she placed the chairs in front of the fire without looking up from your camera.

Being so proud of this picture, you feel an excitement to show someone who also loves this hobby as much as you do.

“Oh, wow! That’s an amazing picture! Especially with the colors, the balance of them across the screen is fantastic.” Momo looks up at you, catching your eyes in the process and offers a smile.

Smiling back at her for the first time without hesitation, a warm feeling bubbles in your stomach. Quickly realize that maybe she wasn’t so bad after all…but you were still apprehensive on getting close to her.

There is no harm in a little kindness, right?

“While you were gone, I made you some dinner.” Momo turns her attention back to the fire that had a metal grate with four legs placed on top of it that she must have brought with her because it was not in what you packed.

A pan set on top of it, using a utensil she flipped over a piece of meat that she took upon herself to cook for you.

“You…cooked me dinner?” sitting down in the chair next to her before she offers you a fresh plate of veggies and steak with gravy drenching both.

“Well…yeah, I know that we haven’t exactly gotten off on the right foot…so I thought this might be a nice peace offering?” shying away from you as you start to slice the perfectly cooked beef.

“I will say…This is very gourmet for camping.” laughing as you took a bite of what she offered you, it was delicious.

Eyes widened and then close, humming into the mixture of flavors that paired so well. Immediately digging into another bite as soon as you swallow the first.

“Yeah, well I like to eat good food so you have to know how to cook at least a little bit for that to be consistent.” giggling at your reaction to your first bite.

“Peace offering accepted!” shouted while goofily pointing your fork in the air before taking another huge bite.

“I had no idea…” speaking with your mouth full because it’s just that good.

“That you could cook…” chopping down and enjoying the flavors thoroughly.

“Like THIS.” pointing down to the plate and swallowing your second bite.

“I think there might be a lot of things you don’t know about me, Y/n…” softly spoken to you over the chewing of your food and the crackling of the fire.

“You’re probably right…it’s not like she would ever let us get close enough to learn personal stuff about each other…and you did keep to yourself a lot when I was around.” thinking back, it was always weird how Sana kept you to herself.

Sure, you went to parties with her and out to dinner with her and friends, but anytime you struck up a conversation with anyone that wasn’t her, she would interject and try to get your attention.

Being blinded by her love bombing, you didn’t think it was for any reason in particular but you were now realizing that it might have been to keep you separate from those she held close so she could warp the narrative in her favor…

“She told me you broke up with her because you fell in love with someone else.” Momo recalled timidly.

“Sana said that you basically told her to fuck off because you wanted to sleep around and be with other people…she called me crying the night you broke up with her about it.” tensing at the memory, you freeze at the false claim spoken to you bashfully.

Blinking multiple times, you look at Momo in confusion.

“What?” the infliction of your words showed that they were essentially false, but you felt the need to defend yourself.

“That’s not true at all…I told her that I wanted to feel like a priority and not an accessory and if she couldn’t do that then I wanted to end things. She tried to justify the way she treated me but she couldn’t because she knew I wasn’t asking for too much. So I ended things. There wasn’t anyone else involved at all.” a single tear rolls down your cheek, reflecting Momo’s shock at the way you had been painted to her.

All this time, Momo assumed that you were just a shit person, without knowing your side of the story. Why wouldn’t she believe Sana? After all, she was her best friend. There was no reason to question her story until now.

“I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t have assumed that what she said was the truth…” A genuine apology, a nervous one, but real care was placed in those words she gave to you.

“It’s okay…it’s not like you knew what was going on behind the scenes…” reassuring her that you didn’t blame her for reacting the way she did.

“I should’ve known something was up though, especially with the way you reacted to me talking about being angry with you when we first spoke on campus. That’s why I’ve been trying to be nice because I don’t think the person that she described would have reacted that way or said what you did.” Her eyes shift to the ground, seemingly lost in thoughts about the stories that Sana told you about her, a twinkle of something else shined through but she was still too unfamiliar to tell what that was.

“Hey, Momo.” standing up and placing the rest of your food down on the small table between the chairs you both sat in.

“Hi, I’m Y/n” sticking your hand out to offer her a handshake.

Momo giggles and stands with you, placing her hand in yours and shaking it firmly.

“I’m Momo, it’s nice to officially meet the real you.”

“The feeling is mutual. Fresh start?” offered to her to see if maybe there was a friendship that could be built with her.

“Fresh start.”

—

Spending the next few hours taking about life and finding common interests was surprisingly easy for both of you.

Photography and dance were her main passions, she transferred to the college you both attended due to moving over in the area and the photography program.

Telling her about your experience with Sana and why you moved out here, the photography program of course, and to just get away from your home town where everything was tainted with the lavender flavor of Sana.

“Everything reminded me of her, so I left to get away from it all. There was too much history there for me so I decided I wanted a clean slate.” nodding your head and yawning as midnight approached.

“I can understand that.” Momo stands up and starts burning the paper plates you had eaten off of in attempts to clean up a little bit.

“I think it’s about time we head to bed, no? It’s getting late and we should get up early tomorrow and explore.” kicking some dirt into the fire that was dying down to kill it faster as you stood up and stretched.

“It’s cold tonight, I’m glad you drove.” chattered through your teeth while grabbing a lantern and a charger to plug into the car so you could charge your phone.

“Go get comfortable, I’ll be there in a moment.” straightening up the camp site some more as you made your way to the trunk, hanging the lantern by the handle on a hook that was attached to the ceiling for some light.

Momo laid out the sleeping bags in an interesting way, connecting the two via a zipper a the bottom and still allowing them to over lap at the top, creating one queen sized sleeping bag. The big fleece blanket was folded over the top of the connected wind breaker like material to add an extra layer of warmth.

Crawling in, you took off your hoodie, folding it up and using it as a pillow. Laying your head down made your eyes heavy, wrapped in the warmth of the woman-made cocoon. Fighting your eyes to try and stay awake, you wanted to wait for Momo but it seemed the full stomach, the chirping of the crickets, and calmness of the night got to you quickly.

Dozing off for a moment, you sleep softly before the REM cycle hits. The SUV’s suspension gives Momo away no matter how quiet she was trying to be to not disturb you.

Shifting in your spot, you open your eyes halfway to see her crawl under the covers after closing the trunk and locking the car from the inside. She’s brought your camera and hers with her into the car.

“While you were sleeping, I saw a barn owl and got a really cool shot of it. I’ll show you in the morning.” yawning as she finishes her sentence, turning the electric lantern off and you both drift off to sleep.

—

The sun shining through the back window wakes you up, checking your phone- it’s 7:15am and Momo is sound asleep next to you looking peaceful and delicate while she rests.

Admiring her for a moment, you take in her visage and wonder how you could ever assume this person could be anything other than what she showed you she was last night.

Sitting up, you stretch - cracking your back and taking a deep breath in before sneaking the keys away from her silently and opening the trunk to try and slip out without waking her.

Successful in this, you leave the trunk open and make your way to the fire pit to start a fire and make some coffee. Bringing a metal pitcher with you, filling it with two bottles of water and some instant coffee, you let it simmer on the fire and take in the morning air.

It was crisp outside, you wondered if it was going to warm up any today when you remembered what Momo said while you were half asleep last night about the picture she took.

Sneaking over to the car, you grabbed both your camera and hers so you could see the shot of the barn owl that she had taken.

Going back to the seat in front of the fire and turning the camera on, you come across a few shots of the bird in a tree with pitch blackness in the background. The owl being a little over exposed but still a very detailed picture that was worth some praise.

Flipping through, it looks like Momo took a few different shots of this owl from different angles. Hitting the button several times, you find a candid picture of yourself in what seems to be mid-laughter with the fire in front of you.

When did she take this…? Last night while you were talking?

The camera is suddenly snatched out of your hands aggressively. Looking up to see an annoyed Momo plopping down in the chair and glaring at you.

“I never told you that you could look through my pictures. I could’ve had private things on here!” the irritation she was feeling reverberated off every rib in the cage of your chest, worried that you might have just ruined the friendship you just cultivated with her.

“Momo…I didn’t mean to violate your privacy, I’m sorry. I was interested in the photo of the owl…” not mentioning the candid picture she took of you when you weren’t paying attention, not wanting to make the situation worse.

“Please don’t do that again.” pouring herself a cup of coffee and standing up, she starts walking down the trail by herself.

Time for her to get away from you for a moment, just like you took your space yesterday. Not chasing after her, just allowing her to take the time she needed to cool off - no matter how much you wanted to fix things.

While you watch as she walks down the trail and around the bend, your mind wanders back to that picture. The one of you laughing and smiling at her, the way your eyes sparkled…

Physically shaking your head and trying to knock the thoughts out of your brain, you decide to just focus on the nature around you to escape the thoughts of Momo and the picture…even if it was only for a moment.

—

Momo returned within the hour, camera in hand and excitement on her face. Running over to you and crouching down next to the chair you were relaxing in, too thrilled with the contents of her camera for pleasantries.

“LOOK!” shouted with pure enthusiasm as she flips through her camera so you could see the screen.

The picture showed of a leopard sleeping in a tall tree. The shot was perfectly exposed, no over saturation or awkward angles. Just a perfect picture of a very large and very rare cat snoozing on a branch.

“Holy shit!” loudly exclaiming as your eye widened in surprise.

There were less than 100 of those leopards out in the wild and this picture was immaculate.

“Right?!” Momo is bouncing up and down like a child who just got ice cream, shimmying goofily in place and waving her camera above her head in sheer joy.

Admiring her with her guard down, you admitted to yourself that she was more than pleasant to be around - her authentic self was lovely.

“That’s an incredible picture…I think you actually should submit that to national geographic…not even as a joke.” happy that she wasn’t angry at you anymore.

Just being around her when she’s beaming like this was a treat in itself…the warmth returns in your stomach, the bubbling up of something you now recognized but didn’t want to admit.

“You think I should?” Stoping her victory dance and looking to you for some direction in the matter.

“Absolutely! Look at it, I mean they could use this in texts books and so many different things…Momo, you have to submit this. No question.” Looking at the picture of the camera in her hand again, but you could feel her eyes on you.

“But do me a favor…be careful, please. I know you can probably fend for yourself but there are very dangerous animals around here and I don’t want you to get hurt…okay?” Gently spoken to her with care that had never threaded your words before.

Looking up, your eyes lock - there’s a bit of tension but it wasn’t the resentful tension that previously laid between the two of you a few days prior.

This was very different.

Momo’s eyes soften, half lidded in the way that she held your gaze.

Heart thumping in your chest when you realize what the tension is - this has sparked some panic in you.

Feeling the tips of your fingers quiver, you break the eye contact and kick the fire out. Grabbing your own camera that hung off the side of your chair, you walk up to Momo and smile.

“Well, we’ve got another full day here, why not explore a little together?” cocking an eyebrow at her before starting off down the trail with great haste, trying to out run the sparkling shiny feelings that would soon catch up to you.

“I think there’s a river up north a ways, why don’t we go see what we can find over there?” looking back to see her hurrying after you, blushing as she catches up.

There’s something here…you both feel it, right?

—

After walking and snapping pictures of the different flora in the area, you finally found what you had been looking for. 30 minutes of beautiful nature down the trail to find a crystal clear, calm river and the bridge that went over it where the trail continued on.

You and Momo walk down to the edge of the bank, looking over the water to see the fish swimming around along with a few otters underneath the bridge, holding hands to not get separated.

Nudging Momo with your elbow, she looks up at you in confusion. Putting your finger to your lips to keep her from speaking too loudly, you point over at the otters that were heading towards you - floating down stream lazily together, fast asleep.

Both of you grabbing your cameras, you snap pictures together. Both getting different angles and then making whisper suggestions to the other, ensuring not to wake up the sleeping water puppies - but then you get an idea.

“Hold this a second” hushed toned, handing her your camera before removing your shoes and socks.

Stripping your pants and shirt off so you’re just in your underwear, you take a step into the water and shiver for a moment.

Momo is beat red, trying not to look you up and down as you snatch your camera back from her and wade into the cold water to get a closer look at the otters and get a better shot of them.

Flush red, speechless, and completely taken off guard would be a very mild way to put what was currently happening to Momo. Her jaw was on the floor, her hands were sweating and she was shaking to take pictures of the otters from the bank.

Turning around and giggling at her, you wave to her to get her to come into the water with you. Waist deep and already snapping shot, she joins you in her sports bra and underwear, sheepishly.

“Don’t be so shy.” whispered to herself as she tries to get a clean shot of the otters, you find this to be adorable.

Unaware that you heard her, you look at her and realize that maybe that’s what the tension was. Maybe she just found you attractive and was unsure how to express it. Maybe it’s because you were Sana’s ex…maybe she didn’t want to cross boundaries… or maybe she didn’t care what you used to be and only really cared about who you are now.

But were you bold enough to make a move?

Was she bold enough for that? Seems like she might need a little encouragement.

That’s the question you asked yourself when your eyes lifted from your camera and you saw what could potentially be the scariest thing you have ever seen.

A massive black bear.

Not just any black bear though, a mama bear and her two cubs - seemingly having the same idea that you had.

Taking a dip on a nice day.

Stepping back slowly, you don’t think that they had seen you yet. Grabbing Momo’s arm you pull her, trying to get her to move without causing a panic.

“One second, I think I’m getting close to the shot I want.” whispered at you, completely oblivious to what was going on around the two of you.

“Momo, there isn’t time…take a step back. Now.” sternly breathed back to her.

“What are you tal- oh shit.” finally realizing the danger you both were in as she followed your movements backwards cautiously, without arguing further.

Slowly getting out of the water and making as little sound as possible, you grabbed your shoes and clothes, not bothering to put them on and crept back to the trail.

Momo slipped her pants and shoes back on while you snuck over to the bridge to see what the bears were doing and if they caught on to the fact that you were so close to them.

The cubs were playing around and splashing in the water and it looks like mama bear was just wading in the shallows, looking for some food - no doubt.

Utilizing the camera, you zoom into the cubs, framing them as best you could and snap a few pictures of them playing.

“They’re so cute.” coming from behind you, startling you.

Turning around to face the voice, you watch as she stands next to you. That’s when you fully realize how stunning Momo actually is.

The water that soaked her bra was dripping down her stomach, following the curves of her abs in a way that made you swallow every rude moment you ever said to her, the guilt weighing heavy in your stomach.

Momo was too distracted by the bears to even notice you gawking at her, so you took a step back and slipped your clothes on again, leaving your shirt off to try and dry out your bra.

She leans against the wood of the bridge with her head resting in her palm, admiring the cubs playful demeanor and sighing at the cuteness that they displayed, splashing around without a care in the world while mom kept watch.

Pointing your camera at her, you took a photo.

One single photo.

You’d argue it was the most perfect one.

“Are you ready to head back to camp?” inquired without looking in your direction, still looking in adoration at the creatures dancing in the water.

“I’d say so. I think we have all the pictures we need for the project too…so we could leave tonight if you want…” even with the suggestion, you could feel the knot of regret in your stomach.

Not really wanting to leave, you were enjoying this time with her - even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, let alone her.

“No, we should stay. You did pay for the two nights so we might as well use them! Plus, who knows what else we can see while we are here.” looking to you and offering a soft smile.

On the way back to camp, you are lost in your thoughts. Trying to organize your brain about this situation you find yourself in. Your ex girlfriends best friend…who you’re spending time with and actually enjoying spending time with…who can cook and likes to take pictures…who is adventurous…and also wildly attractive…

Oh boy.

It snaps into your mind like a rubber band shot across the room, a flash of lightening igniting your entire nervous system into flames and disintegrating you into a complete pile of chemically compounded dust.

You like her.

You romantically like her.

“Well, shit.” unintentionally out loud for the entire forest to hear, Momo included.

“Is everything okay?” stopping in her tracks and checking in with you.

“Yes, yes. Everything is fine. I was just lost in thought.” trying to avoid the conversation entirely as you weren’t really sure if you were ready to tell her your new intel about this crush you now have on her.

“Are you sure? I’m here for you…if you want me to be.” turning to face you and placing her hand on your upper arm.

Swooning was an understatement.

Her touch was like that of a thousand suns burning your skin all at once, the warmth, the care and the undivided attention of her left you wondering what it would’ve been like if you actually got the chance to get to know her before Sana.

If you would’ve dated, or had more positive interactions.

If her judgement of you wouldn’t have been warped by someone else’s lies.

“Thanks Momo…that means a lot coming from you.”

She offers a smile and you both continue walking back to camp with you still completely lost in the “What ifs”

—

This night was similar to the last, Momo made dinner again, similar to the night before but with a little twist. You broke out a bottle of tequila and some pineapple juice you had tucked away and you drank with her and shared some of your fondest memories from your childhood.

She shared with you the asperations of her life, how she wanted to be a professional photographer and that she actually would prefer to shoot models and fashion but really enjoyed the photography you guys did together on the trip.

The drinks were working on you, loosening you up and making you more carefree. Allowing her to know the real you was not as tough are you thought, thank you tequila.

Building up the courage, you finally ask her a question that had been burning on your mind since you saw the proof this morning.

“Hey, Momo? Can I ask you something?” apprehensive even with the alcohol in your system.

“Of course, you can ask me anything.” taking a swig of her drink and a bite of the meal she made for the two of you.

“Why did you take that picture of me last night?”

Momo freezes, it was very obvious that she was not expecting that to be the question you were going to ask.

Taking another big swig of her drink, polishing the glass off before looking at you and placing her elbows on her knees, clasping her hands together - she took a deep breath and what came next, shocked you.

“Do you want the truth?” voice shaky while she builds up her courage.

Unable to help but admire how adorable she is when she’s nervous, you try to break the tension she’s holding within herself.

“Lie to me.” laughing as you say it.

Momo cracks a smile and then takes one more deep breath.

“I’ve had a crush on you since before you and Sana dated.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I saw you in the halls at school and thought you were so beautiful…I stupidly pointed that out to her and she decided to go after you. That’s why she never let us get close…that’s also why her and I are no longer close…” exhaling after the sentence to relieve the stress.

Everything now makes sense, the dinner, the way she made the bed in the trunk, the making sure she spent time with you on this project and the most important thing being that comment she made about her anger…she was never angry at you, only angry at the situation and the judgement you placed on her because of Sana.

“…I had no idea…I thought you hated me because of what happened between Sana and I…I didn’t realize…”

“I know you didn’t…but don’t beat yourself up about it…It’s not like she told you and it’s also not like I told you either.” There was a comforting shift in her voice, no longer shaking as she tried to sooth you for the information you hadn’t previously had.

Grabbing your camera that was hanging on the side of your chair, you turned it on quickly and went to the gallery, finding that picture you took of her and passing her the camera.

Momo’s jaw dropped, staring at the picture and realizing when you took it.

“Can I tell you something?” offered to her in exchange for the vulnerability shared to you previous.

“Of course,” another deep breath as she braces for the truth.

“Remember when I said “well, shit” earlier?”

Her eyes perk up.

“Yeah?”

“It’s because I realized that I like you…”

Even you’re shocked by what just came out of your mouth.

Did you really just admit that?

“…really?” inquired in the smallest voice, never thinking Momo could sound so timid, despite seeing some moments of it previously.

“Yes…once I lost the image that Sana put in my head of you, and stopped assuming you would be like her…Once I really got to know parts of you, I realized that I wanted to learn more and more about you.” shying away from her gaze on you as you carried on with your statement.

“I…don’t know what to do with myself.” Momo blurted out between nervous glances at you.

She’s so cute like this, you really can’t help yourself.

Standing up and taking a big step so you were in front of her you reach down to cup her face. Leaning in, you taste the drink you made for her off her lips.

Drunk from alcohol or Momo’s soft lips against yours, you were not sure but you were feeling dizzy at the touch of her mouth on yours. Soft pecks that were laced in sweet subtle movements and the pinning for more of her in everyway, already addicted to the feeling of her skin on yours.

Breaking apart from the kiss, you watch her lick her lips and that releases something within you that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Yearning, wasn’t the word.

It was a violent want.

An aggressive need.

Though you both had been drinking, would it be a silly idea to see if she was interested in pushing this way past a kiss?

Maybe it was better to wait?

“If you kiss me like that again…there might be an issue.” Momo finally speaks up between your inner monologue, standing up and getting so close to your face that your noses touch.

“Oh yeah? How so, Ms. Hirai?” poking a little fun at her, giggling as she wraps her arms around you, and leans into you.

“Maybe I’ll show you on a night where we haven’t been drinking.” whispered in a sultry tone into your ear making you melt in every single way possible.

“Fine!” scrunching your nose in protest and stomping off playfully back to your seat.

Momo chuckles and follows you, sitting on your lap like it’s always been her seat and resting her body against yours.

“I’m getting sleepy, the anxiety of today was a lot.” yawning in confirmation that it was a shared tired.

“Why don’t you go and get comfortable? I’ll take care of everything out here.”

“Let me help.” in a half asleep argument.

“No, go get cozy! It’s cold so you have to warm up the sleeping bag.” rubbing her back gently to further her sleepiness.

Mindlessly getting up, she starts walking over to the trunk and strips her shirt off on the way. You’re, of course, watching her as she walks. She reaches behind her and unclips her bra, exposing her bare back to you.

Turning her head back to you and winking before crawling into the trunk.

This brings a need to do everything as hastily as possible so you can go a lay down with her, wondering if you would be able to even sleep next to her now that she was completely bare from the waist up.

Kicking dirt over the fire to put it out, you notice the sheer coldness that had crept in while you were sitting next to the blaze.

Scanning the site to make sure everything was put away well enough to go to sleep, you grab the keys and the cameras before heading to the trunk where Momo was laying under the covers with the lantern on and shivering.

“I-it’s s-so c-c-cold!” Teeth chattering as she watches you crawl in and close the door.

Slipping the cameras and keys into the front seat, you take off your shirt and crawl under the covers with her, flicking the light off and getting comfortable.

“Come here.” Pulling her closer to you so your body heat would help warm the two of you up.

Scooting into her, she rolled over and lay her head against your chest. The sting of her iced touch lingers for a moment before you feel her thawing out. Running your hand over her back a few times to try to conduct friction to bring her temperature up faster so she can be more comfortable.

Very quick to realize she still wasn't wearing a shirt, you tugged the sleeping bag over her shoulders as well as the fleece blanket to trap the heat, and to save yourself from the tipsy mindset of wanting more than just a kiss.

“Did you just cover my shoulders more?” Laughing into your chest as she realized what you did.

“I’m simply preserving your warmth, Momo!” Kicked back to her but she already knew you were lying.

Heart beating a million miles a minute as her chest was pressed against your stomach, feeling her nipple against your skin and her fingers tracing lightly on your back sent you into a spiral of trying not to go completely feral.

Laying with each other in the back of Momo’s SUV was not something that you thought would ever happen, but you’re very very glad it was happening.

Leaning down, you kiss the top of her head and try to pull her ever closer.

“Feeling warmer?” cooed to her.

“Yes, now I’m cozy.” Nuzzling into you and holding you tighter.

“Good”

Momo tilts her head back and extend her lips out to you, asking for a good night kiss to seal the deal on everything that had happened in the past few hours.

You quickly comply and play with her hair as she falls asleep in your arms.

—

Birds chirping loudly in the trees nearby tug you out of your dreams and into the Sunday morning that was upon you.

Rolling over you notice that the trunk is open and you can smell the campfire going.

Momo is awake already.

Sitting up and stretching your arms out, you rub your eyes before scooting out of the cabin and letting your feet hang outside the trunk, sitting up while you take in the autumn morning.

“Good Morning, sunshine.” Momo walks over with a cup of coffee and a smile, offering you the cup and kissing your cheeks.

Taking a sip of the warmth in a mug, you notice that Momo is wearing your shirt.

“Cute shirt, where’d you get it?” Pointing at it before sipping the coffee again.

“Oh you know, this girl I have a major crush on…I stole it from her. But don’t tell her! It’s a secret.” Lifting her finger up to shush you lightheartedly.

“Is this girl your girlfriend? Should I tell her that we kissed? She won’t be happy about that!” Winking at her and matching her silliness.

“She is not my girlfriend, but she should be…Maybe I should take it off then? So she doesn’t get jealous?” Lifting the hem of her shirt up slowly over her stomach before tugging up and taking it off, revealing her breasts to you with barely any warning.

Stunned at the sight you have practically woken up to, you scan her up and down and watch as she brings herself closer to you, placing one hand on each of you knee and spreading them apart so she can get in between them.

“We are sober now…” kissing your cheeks before lifting your face to meet hers.

“No one’s around, I haven’t seen anyone drive by since we’ve been here…” another kiss, this one on the lips and deeper than any one you had shared before.

Hands finding their way to her waist as you pull her closer to you, trying to fill in the space between your bodies as any space between you was too much.

Tongues starting to dance with each other as things picked up, Momo reaches behind you, unhooking your bra and throwing it to the front of the car.

Guiding you onto your back by pushing your shoulders, she ushers you up and gets you to scoot inside farther so she could have more space to crawl on top of you.

“I’ve waited for this…” a kiss to your neck renders you incapable of focusing on anything but her.

“…For so fucking long…” dragging her mouth down to your chest and a tongue flick to your nipple make you arch your back and whine softly, hand trailing up and gripping her hair as she descends the length of your body.

“…and I will have you…” kissing down your stomach and to the waistline of the shorts you wore, tugging on them, removing your underwear with them, and placing them to the side.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?” Dragging her mouth down your hips, grazing her teeth against your skin so gently but it ignites the hostile craving that was put on the back burner last night.

Never in a million years did you think you’d be in this position with Hirai Momo but here you were with her now wrapping her arms around your thighs and laying gentle soft pecks down until finally her tongue swipes your slit causing a jolt from your hips and a guttural moan from your lungs.

“So what do you say, baby? You gonna be good for me and let me eat my breakfast in peace?” Seductively before another tender lick from your entrance to your clit renders you in capable of formulating any words other from “fuck” and “yes please.”

“Good girl.”

Momo kept her tongue against you, writing unspoken poems of the care and attraction she had for you for all these years against the most sensitive parts of you, taking her time and making sure to lick every single drop of slick off your folds.

Though she was slow in her movements, every ounce of pleasure she gave you was so divine and delicious, it left you yearning and pinning for more like you had finally quenched your thirst after years without a single drink.

Unable to keep still underneath her as she spells out how much she’s wanted this with her mouth, you mewl and whine for her, thrusting your lower body up while your hands wandered to the back of her head in attempts to pull her closer to you.

A finger teases your entrance, dipping the first knuckle of her pointer finger inside of you causing you to rock your hips softly, showing her exactly what she was looking for.

“You want my fingers inside you, don’t you?” Only removing her mouth for a second to tease you with the thought.

Only being able to hum in agreeance, you try to say yes with thrusting your hips down. She brings her left arm up and across your pelvis, pinning you done into place to keep you still.

“Beg.” stern in tone but somehow still drenched in need for you as she removes her finger and waits.

“Momo, *please.* I *need* to feel you insi-”

Before you could even finish the sentence, her fingers spread your folds apart and her tongue dips into you.

One.

Two.

Three times, before returning back to gradually circling your clit, her lips visibly coated in your essence and her eyes hungry for more.

Bringing her finger back to where you wanted it, she slowly glides it inside of you and presses up against your G-spot while gently building up the pace of her tongue around your most sensitive area.

“*Momo… oh, fuck..uhngh”* moaning for her and only for her, you would be happy to exist in this context for as long as possible but you need and wanted more.

Leaning up on your elbows, she sees you look at her and makes half lidded eye contact with you while her tongue does all the talking. Allowing her to taste you for a moment longer before you slip a hand under her chin and detach her mouth from you.

Momo reaches over to her camera without removing her finger from inside you. Turning it on with one hand and angling herself for the perfect shot, her thumb graces over you lightly, causing you to squirm.

“Is this okay?” Before focusing the camera on your body.

Nodding your head, you spread your legs wider for her so she can get the full image of how your body reacts to her.

A few clicks and she turns her camera off, placing it back where it was on the bed and tries to lean back into you.

You had other plans.

Taking her finger out of you, she has the look of confusion on her face. Lifting her finger up to your mouth, you suck your own slick off of it and pull her fully into the trunk.

“Close the door.” quietly and seductively, you hand other plans for her.

Already so weak for you that she immediately does what she’s told, you smile and cock an eyebrow at her, wondering how far you could get her to go with such requests.

“Take your pants off.” orders given and followed, she strips her pants off quickly, leaving her in a black thong.

Watching and she tugs on her black stringed waist band, you can see a string of her slick attached to the fabric and she removes it.

Clenching at the sight of her being just as aroused as you, you’re quick to maneuver yourself to sit on her thighs and wrap your legs around her.

Dripping onto her legs from how badly you want her, she smirks at you before her hand descends and returns to your pussy, thrusting two fingers in this time and pressing upwards.

Hissing out of pure pleasure, you drape one arm around her neck and the other slips between her legs so you can rub her clit while she’s inside you.

Eye contact between your mutual grunts of pleasure rattle the car windows, feeling the suspensions bouncing and help you with the rocking of your own hips, you bring your face so close to hers - noses touching and rubbing against each other before you bring your hand to the back of her head and pull her into you for an open mouthed kiss.

Being able to taste yourself off her tongue sent you reeling, moaning into her mouth while her free hand trails up your sides and slithers over to your stomach before ascending up to your neck, wrapping her fingers around your throat and gripping it tightly.

“Such a slut for me…” growling into your mouth as you gasp against her lips.

“Look how fucking wet you got when I started choking you…would you drip this way if I tied your hands behind your back too?”

*Oh fuck.*

Her fingers are moving faster now, palm against your clit as you buck your hips into her creating a mess of her entire hand and her legs beneath you.

Barely even cognoscente from the knot rapidly building in your stomach, you slip two fingers into her and begin giving her the same speed and pressure she was giving to you.

Momo’s moans did you under, the gratification of her losing her “mean domme” demeanor by your touch was enough to put you right at the edge.

All you needed was a little push.

Clenching around her fingers, moaning into her with your fingers tangle in her hair and soaked from her pussy - you whimper at her and she knows.

“Is my good girl going to- *fuck, baby -*cum for me?” fingers picking up momentum when she feels her own climax creeping up on her.

Nodding your head before placing your face into her neck and biting down hard as you release all the tension that had built up in the few days that you spent with her, coming completely undone around her fingers.

The bite from you has her blissed out while your fingers piston haphazardly inside her, you clenching around her fingers and moaning into her causes Momo’s own ecstasy to drown her in a paradise that she had never felt before.

Both of you riding out your own orgasms on each other’s fingers, thrusting your hips into each other and causing the car to rock back and forth rhythmically.

Both of you slowing down your movements and sharing a few soft pecks, she lays down flat on her back with you on top of her - both of you panting and gasping for air.

Tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, she kisses you again before removing her fingers from you and slipping her pants back on but remaining shirtless while you just held each other for a while and enjoyed the moment.

“So…what happens when we get back?” there’s fear in Momo’s voice when the question slips between her teeth.

“What do you mean?” brows furrowed like you weren’t naked in the back of her SUV after having fucked in the middle of no where.

“I mean…I don’t know, are you looking for something with this?” voice shaking and reminding you of earlier, the nervousness of rejection is very loud in her.

“I mean…are you?”

“With you, yes.” no hesitation on her end at all.

Smiling at her, you sit up and tug her with you.

“Momo…”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“Oh…I uhm….yes.”

Tackling her to the floor and peppering her face with kisses - you didn’t even need to think about what you wanted - her.

Giggling at your actions, you both sigh and just lay with each other for another moment.

“Not to break this lovely moment we are having, but what time is check out?” sitting up and throwing your shirt on to cover up, leaning down to kiss your cheek before opening the door.

“Uhm….noon, I think?” rolling over and grabbing the hoodie you had been using as a pillow and tossing it on before slipping your own bottoms back on.

“Okay, I’ll start packing up.” grabbing the stuff she brought to cook with and packing it away in the bag she must have brought them in.

“Hey Momo?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you…want to stay the night at my house tonight?” eyes shifting as you ask from sheer nervousness.

Already having spent so much time together this weekend, you weren’t really ready to separate just yet. You truly hoped she would share that sentiment.

Momo places the bag of cooking equipment into the truck, walks over to you and faces you. Grabbing your hands and raising them up to kiss your knuckles and then your lips and smiles.

“I would love to…plus I want to know what happened between Tzuyu and Chaeyoung this weekend, Chae’s got the biggest crush on her so hopefully it went well.”

“No way…Tzuyu has been crushing on Chae the entire year!” exclaimed as you started gathering the chairs and moving the left over wood to the back of the campsite for another camper to use when they arrived.

“Seriously?!” gasped at the statement you just made.

“Yes!”

“Well we better pick up a bottle of wine before we get back to your house then!” grabbing the bag of trash you had compiled over the weekend and bringing it to the SUV so you could dispose of it before leaving.

Hopping in the car after packing everything up, you start the drive home with your new girlfriend, hand in hand. The two hour ride felt like 10 minutes, just talking about life and classes, the project and how you both wanted to set everything up for it.

Looking over at her as she pulls into your complex, you realize how excited you are about this new phase of life you’re about to embark on, with her intertwined in all aspects.

Who knew that this unexpected weekend would turn out to be something so absolutely pleasant.

[polaritiesoop]

Gem and Lizzie would make for fun enemies as I think they would make great for a duo. Is it just me? Like better if it's one sided rivalry like with Joel and Scott. Lizzie is confused, Gem is bloodthirsty. Must be just me and my pirate concept with pirate captain Gem and her beef with the ocean and Lizzie as the Ocean Queen.

lemme rant about my concept

Gem is cursed by some ancient entity to shift into an ocean siren hit with the urge to eat people and longing to breathe underwater, she hates it because her siren features are slowly becoming permanent almost replacing her hybrid features of being a deer. Which she is devastated of as she is the sole survivor of her village kind. At some point she and her crew rescued Joel from captivity as he was a prince of a kingdom in the middle of a war. And Joel has the attention of Ocean Queen Lizzie, straight up being courted by her and he has an embarrassing crush on her yet is oblivious. When Gem realizes Joel is connected with her, she keeps Joel captive and demands Lizzie to cure her curse. Lizzie, who was not the one to cast the curse nor is she powerful enough to undo a curse, is confused on why Gem is being so hostile and keeping her from seeing Joel. They would have squabbles in the ocean and Lizzie is just half confused and half annoyed that Gem keeps fighting her. Plus she's embarrassed because Gem wins nearly all the time. Of course it eventually develops into friendship through the different misadventures of Gem and her crew.... And Lizzie is there on the ocean cuz she can't really stay much on land and Gem would aim for her head if she ever tries to take a step on their ship. she really wants to join the crew but Gem keeps refusing. Joel feels like Gem is acting like a parent keeping him away from Lizzie, Taylor Swift's Romeo and Juliet style of goofy lovestory.

Gem's crew consist most of the magical mt. cast that might be also cursed like Gem in diff. ways and so each of them have their own stories. Scar is a wanted criminal and vex hybrid and might/might've not stolen an important artifact from the last cannibal cult he was a part of (triple whammy) and might/might not be threatened every time with death because he got the attention of an ancient entity, I wonder why? Grian is a runaway prince that teenaged Gem had the unfortunate time with when he sneaked into the pirate ship of another crew Gem was once a cabin girl for. Now he is in Gem's crew disguised as a middle aged fisherman that contributes jack shit on the crew, but can't be kicked out cause he's a great fighter and the Snail Colony both cursed Gem and Grian as their servants and they are inseparable by contract. Skizz was supposed to assassinate Joel, but had grown fond of the man while taking on the role as his personal knight, and so was protecting him all the time when Prince Joel was kidnapped and the two of them formed a deeper friendship when they were kept captive . Skizz is definitely an ancient entity that is not aware he is one, has an awful amnesia of his divinity, and will start to remember while having a second go at puberty in the form of wings. Many Many sprouting wings. Impulse has a touch with death, he does not know why but he is happy to see his bestfriend Skizz again! He is plagued by the ghosts that start to randomly haunt their ship but he knows it's because of Scar...because they keep telling him to kill Scar. Oh, and Impulse encounters ghostly Joel clones pretending to be Joel of a variety of killing moods, for whatever reason they are targeting Skizz. Something is not right with Joel.

What about Mumbo? uhhhhh Normal Guy™. Genuinely loves to tend to the ship be it redstone and building. Experiences all the horrors of his friends' curses first hand. Does help them and somehow always at the scene of the crime but also at the resolution of said crime. It's almost suspicious how he keeps surviving....

Yeah, so pirates, lotsa ancient entities and curses and cults and crazy island colonies with more curses. but most importantly. snails. and the moon might start cash landing on earth because for some reason the moon goddess (Pearl duh) is now on earth and her powers are gone and Gem needs to help her. Somehow.

[umbrellasareforever]

Empire of Death

Alright I'm so fresh off watching it and normally I want to give myself time to think before I say anything but also to think I need to get it out somehow so ya'll are getting my thoughts as I process them and then maybe I'll make a more intelligent post later.

Let's start with things I enjoyed!

Mel was fantastic, as always. Bonnie Langford is a treat and honestly, watching her this episode made me almost wish she could be the series companion again.

The Memory TARDIS! A genuinely unexpected surprise and while it made not have made 100% sense, it was a fun reference and a unique way to get around the fact that the TARDIS wasn't available to them.

I enjoyed the scene with the Doctor and the woman in that ramshackle hut. It was a sweet, somewhat slow moment that let you feel the universe a bit. Honestly, I wish the episode had started with that, it would've been a great hook.

As much as I adore my Paradox Baby™️ theory, I do think that having Ruby discover that her mother is, in fact, just a person was quite sweet. It was nice to see a RTD companion actually have a happy ending for once (although we know she's coming back, but hey, it's still a sweet moment).

Okay uhhhhh let's get into my problems...

If Ruby's mother was really just a person why the hell did it snow every time her mom was mentioned? I get the whole "the more significance you give something, the more important it becomes", and I know that the universe is now more supernatural than it was before, but was that the supernatural bleeding in? And while we're on Ruby's mother, why did she point so dramatically to the sign? No one was looking, no one would've known that's what she named her daughter. Is it just a total coincidence that she ended up with that name? Am I crazy?

The moment Rose died so unceremoniously I knew that it was going to end up being one of those "no consequences" episodes and I felt incredibly deflated. I get that Russell needs to make the stakes feel high but I really don't think this is the way. You can't have every season end with a universe shattering event and then just as quickly put everything back to the way it was and expect me to still feel like there's a threat.

Piggybacking off that, whyyyyyyyyyyy the HELL did Mrs. Flood have to say the whole "end in abject terror" thing? I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of every season ending with or being advertised with "OHHHHHH this next one is gonna be the biggest threat the Doctor has ever faced! Nothing will ever be the same!!" STOP!!! STOP IT!!!!!! YOU ARE KILLING ME JUST STOP IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of Mrs. Flood, as curious as I am about her and whatever the hell she is (Iris, Romana, Susan, the Trickster, something else entirely), I also think that the lack of any answers about her and the constant cutting back to her really pulled me away from the story as a whole. Whether it was because I'm more interested in her or because seeing her so much made me think her story was going to be more important in the episode, it just took away from the already limited time we had.

Which kind of brings me to my biggest problem; time. All season every episode has felt like we were rushing through, as if we didn't have nearly enough time to actually tell a story, and it sucks. It leaves stories feeling like first drafts and unsatisfying and meh. I know pacing is hard, but there's gotta be a way to make this stuff work.

On another note, the whistle was... uh... yeah. I'll accept the Doctor having Intelligent Gloves™️ and Intelligent Rope™️ and Psychic Earrings™️, but when a whistle falls out of a cupboard and he puts it on with 0 explanation and then uses what we can only assume is a normal whistle to control the TARDIS to *checks notes* shoot a cannon out of the console and fly it over to him and Ruby... Yeah I just... that's a bit much for me.

Also Sutekh's been on the TARDIS for how long??? Since Pyramids of Mars??? What happened to him in Flatline? What happened to him when the Master turned it into a Paradox Machine? Or when it was blowing up constantly in Series 5? Or when House took it over in The Doctor's Wife? He was just straight chilling?? Honestly this is less of a genuine complaint and more of a "Wow, Doctor Who is wild!"

Now this is VERY much a nitpick and I need to get over it, I know, but God I need 15 to wear more Doctor-esque clothes. Seeing him walk around this whole time in blue jeans and a t-shirt or combat cargo pants and a t-shirt just felt so off. Seriously, when he had that leather trench coat outfit back on at the very end I felt a moment of relief.

And while I'm nitpicking, I know they didn't even really play a part in the episode but I want to, once again, voice my frustration with how much UNIT is a part of RTD2 so far and how it feels like there's not even a hint of military critique about it.

Yeah okay, those are my thoughts for now. If you really read all this, I appreciate and applaud you, and I very much hope you enjoyed the episode. I wish I did.

Here's to the Christmas special, I suppose!

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑 Chimney my beautiful Cinderella here to sweep Prince Charming off her feet

🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮 CRANBERRY ILYILYILY

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️buddie wedding don’t be a disaster escape the tv drama curse

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸 BAD DECISIONS EDDIE I AM WATCHING THROUGH MY FINGERS

💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐 May don’t fight the feelings you got thissss

HEY!

Yesss Chim IS Cinderella! Like it's IN THE NAME.

21 for👑:

---

 He knows he’s running short on time. He doesn’t want to disrespect Bobby’s incredible generosity by showing up late. But he can’t quite help himself from stepping forward and kissing Maddie again. 

This time, the kiss is longer and a bit more heated. More confident. He can feel the tips of her manicured nails press into the back of his shoulders a little. 

Chim could stay here forever. He wants to stay here forever. 

But he’s on a curfew. 

He pulls away again. “I really do have to go.”

Maddie nods, a little breathless. “I’ll see you soon?”

“God, I hope so.”

She smiles and squeezes his hand reassuringly. 

“Then go. Have a good rest of your shift, Chimney.”

“Have a good rest of your night, Maddie. And, uh, Happy New Year.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think it is.”

---

Sorry in advance that the next sentences are my first draft at Cranberry-verse smut (kinda?)

33 for 🦮:

---

“I can stop,” Buck offers.

On the screen, he sees Eddie give a very quick little shake of his head. No. He doesn’t want Buck to stop. 

Buck’s stomach is somersaulting. They’re really going to cross this line, then. Trample over the normal order of things that they might have followed, had they gotten that long-awaited date.

“I think you should do something to make yourself feel better,” Buck suggests, more breathless than he expected to sound. 

“Yeah?” 

Eddie shifts his position a little.

“I think you deserve it,” Buck continues. 

“This is crazy,” Eddie murmurs. 

“Do it anyway.”

Eddie shifts again, switching his phone from one hand to the other. Buck can imagine the other reaching down, snaking beneath his waistband. He feels very warm all of a sudden. Eddie takes a deep inhale as he starts stroking himself, and even translated via FaceTime, the effect is overwhelming on Buck. He feels a pulsing need in his own crotch. 

“God,” he mutters. “I wish I was there.”

“I wish it was you,” Eddie breathes.

Buck wets his lips with his tongue. He’s nervous. More nervous than he’s ever been with this sort of thing.  Because it’s a man. Because that man is Eddie. Because it’s been a while. Because it’s finally, finally, the exact kind of meaningful that he’s always wanted, deep down. He doesn’t know. But he wants to get this right.

“I would take good care of you, if I was there,” Buck promises. 

Eddie’s eyes flutter open and closed, heavy-lidded and dreamy. 

“I’d take my time,” Buck continues.

---

Uhhhhh definitely NO drama AT the wedding? However...

18 for ⚡️:

---

Their next call is to the scene of a fire. 

This should not be especially eventful, considering that they are firefighters and all. And, for the drive there, it isn’t. The transit process? Just fine. 

It’s the rest that sends Buck into a tailspin. 

He spends the ride seated next to Eddie, thighs touching. They’re back being partnered together. Sadie earned her shield a couple months back, and has been working as Ravi’s partner since. Buck is pretty proud of her - and himself, for training her. He liked working with her a lot. But he’s happy to be back where he belongs, in terms of workplace duos. 

Buck and Eddie - okay, mostly Buck - talk everyone’s ear off about the house for the time it takes them to get to the fire. They should possibly be a little less giddy headed towards an actual three alarm fire, but at that point, Buck thinks his mood simply can’t be shaken. How naive. 

It is perhaps due to this focus on the house, which is nowhere near the direction they’re headed in to get to this fire, that Buck doesn’t realize what is in the direction of the fire. In his defense, neither does anyone else! Not even Eddie! Even Bobby, who knows better where they’re going, doesn’t put the pieces together. 

---

It may not go the way you think for Eddie!

15 for 🩸:

---

When Eddie wakes, it’s to the din of Buck trying to be quiet. He’s not an especially quiet person, especially in spaces where he’s relaxed. Maybe months searching vampire spaces covertly have improved those tendencies, but that doesn’t seem to apply to this morning. Buck treads heavily on the hardwood floors, shuffling to change into sweats before joining Eddie in bed. 

Eddie is bone tired. He doesn’t know why last night’s confrontation has taken so much out of him. Certainly, he’s accomplished far more exhausting feats recently. Dealt with much worse. But he feels like he’s been hollowed out, nonetheless. Yet, beyond all that, there’s a sense of stillness. Like some wriggling, writhing dark thing in him has been surgically extricated. The decision he has made has stamped it out. And while the process has exhausted Eddie, he feels liberated. 

It doesn’t matter what he is. He’s going to find a way to live a life that he can be proud of.

---

24 for 💐:

---

“What?” April demands, when she catches May looking out of the corner of her eye. 

“Nothing,” May insists. “Nothing at all.”

“Look, I know I suck,” April sighs. “I’m not an artist!”

“I didn’t say anything!” May protests.

“I played clarinet in high school! I never took an art class I wasn’t forced to take.” April continues. 

May raises an eyebrow. “Well, you seemed happy enough when I suggested the idea for this paint night.”

April shrugs. There’s a smudge of blue across her right hand, and when she lifts it to scratch her head, a little bit of that transfers to her forehead. 

“You seemed like you wanted to do it, so…”

May flushes. 

“I find painting fun,” she admits. 

“Anything is fun when you’re good at it.” April points out. 

“I’m mediocre at best,” May corrects. 

April rolls her eyes. “Well, you’re the second best here.”

“Second best?”

[yandecifi]

What It Means to Be Made of Stardust

☆ chapter eight

⋆ masterlist

⋆ cw: child abuse, sa, mental illness

hawks/reader, psychological, wip longfic

There are days you spend sitting outside your apartment door, school bag at your side, leaning against the concrete walls. Or maybe you’re laying on your stomach as you work on your homework, legs kicking in the air, elbows perching you up and scraping against the ground. Your neighbors walk past occasionally. Some say hi, some glance at you and turn away.

Dad asks you what you’re doing, laying on the ground outside his apartment, because it’s weird. It’s embarrassing. What’s he doing letting his kid roll around outside with all the neighbors watching? They’ll judge him and think he’s a bad father. And, what, do you hate him or something? Why can’t you just sit inside like somebody normal, talk to him, ask him how his day was? You’re so thoughtless, so rude. Why’s he been given a child like you?

You sit at the dinner table with your homework spread out. Your knees knock together as they jostle, your blood is fizzing up like soda. Dad wanders through the kitchen.

“I love you, you know that?”

“Uh-huh.”

Dad pulls something out of the fridge. A beer, probably, but the air has turned sour. The words on your homework start to fuzz.

“You know what that means?”

“Um, haha, maybe.”

“I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to go through what I have, I’m not going to do to you what my parents did to me.”

“I - um, okay.”

He’s silent for a beat. Your fingers tremble, your knees still, you can’t even swallow.

“And, you don’t know this yet,” he starts again, “but most people don’t mean it like I do. To other people, throughout my life, it means -- it means, ‘I want something from you, and saying I love you is how I’ll get it’. You haven’t experienced that, so you don’t get it, I know -- but you’ll meet people like that. Most people are like that.”

“Can I just do my homework?”

It’s quiet except for the buzzing in your head.

And then, Dad slams his hands on the kitchen countertop and the whole thing snaps like a taut rubber band — you’re jumping up and bolting out the door. It’s only a moment before he’s on your heels, skidding around the corners of the apartment stairwell with you, shouting and screaming at you from the parking lot.

But you’re already halfway to the moon, the air hot in your lungs, your feet a blur beneath you. Moments like these are the closest you can get to flying — when you’re running who knows where, too fast for him to catch.

Your favorite nights were spent outside with stolen chips and coke. The grin you had sitting on some bench and popping those cans open, licking the salt from your fingers, was bigger than any bruise.

☆

The sky is blue.

You’re laying in the grass with your classmates. It’s one of campus’s many lawns, all well kept and green despite winter creeping in. Grass tickles your arms and ankles with every twitch. It smells freshly cut. Your jeans are probably stained green.

It’s Mina and the rest of her usual group that’s sitting with you. They’re sitting in a circle, cross-legged and yapping. They’re eating fast food: neon slushies and tacos. You snorted your pain meds.

Clouds float far above you and yet you’re right there with them. You reach your hand out and grab at them.

“Girl, you tryna be all main character or something?”

You roll your head over at Mina and her friends. Mina grins down at you between bites and slurps. Bakugo’s glaring at you. Kirishima doesn’t meet your eye. Denki keeps talking with Sero like you aren’t there.

You roll right on back to the sky.

“Girl?”

“Mhm?”

“Where’ve you been, lately?”

“Living with Aizawa.”

“I -- yeah, I know. I mean, like, ummm, even when you’re with us, you’re not.”

“Uhhhhh.” You shut your eyes as you force yourself to sit up. Your brain feels full of blood, hot, sloshing. Everything tingles. You rub your face. “Sorry, I’m just tired.”

“Oh. Want some of my baja?”

“No, no. Thanks, though.” The grass is spray paint green. You blink. “The sky is really pretty.”

Mina giggles like she always does, eyes crinkling up in the corners, cheeks round and strained with her smile. You’ve never met anybody as happy as her. She has to be lying.

“It’s even prettier with some baja and tacos!”

You stare at the chemically colored slush in her hand. It’s as stupidly green as the grass. You lean over and slurp from the straw. The cold meets your tongue and it tingles, weirdly enough. You swallow and lay back down and you smile.

“That tasted like chemicals, Mina.”

“Bitch, be so for fucking real. I’ve seen you take edibles like they’re candy. And I’m not even gonna start with the drunk vaping.”

“Okay, okay.” You swat Mina’s offering of more baja away. “It definitely tasted better than any edible I’ve had.”

“Damn straight.”

Mina shuffles over to you and then collapses in the grass at your side, joining you in cloud gazing. She sluuuurps.

You side eye Mina. She notices. You grin. She grins. She wriggles closer until you’re both practically touching noses.

“What?” She whispers, eyes gleaming with mischief.

“I snorted my meds,” you whisper back.

Mina blinks. She opens her mouth to say something. She closes it. Her smile falters. She looks away. She looks back at you. Her face contorts in confusion and she sits up a little.

“You what?”

You remain very still. “I’m joking.”

“No the fuck you aren’t.”

“I am.”

“Show me your eyes.”

“No.”

“Show me --”

“No!”

“If you don’t --”

“No!”

“Fine!”

Mina lays back down with a huff, arms crossed. The boys are staring at the two of you. You flip them off. They all exchange glances and Mina yanks your arm down.

“Girl, what?” Mina turns so that the two of you are nose-to-nose again. You smile. “Weed, getting drunk, and the occasional pen is one thing. Snorting random pills is another. What were you thinking? How much did you take?”

“They’re not random, I was prescribed them --”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Sorry.” You swallow. “I don’t know, I just crushed one of the pills on my desk and snorted it. I don’t know why.”

“Nobody does shit like that just because. Why?”

“I really, honestly don’t know. I guess I just wanted to see if things would change.”

“The stuff with your Dad?”

“No, I mean, I know nothing’s changing that. I just mean… I don’t know.”

“Your depression?”

You squint. The pamphlet and the conversation in her room flashes through your mind.

“I guess? I’m not, like, diagnosed with that, though.”

“I feel like we’re past that point.”

“I don’t know.” You find yourself staring into her eyes, searching, looking at the person there. This one is new. “I’m sorry.”

Mina gives you something like a smile. She doesn’t look right unhappy.

“It’s okay. Just know I’m always here to talk, okay? And can you please promise me you won’t mess with your meds again? I’ll literally buy you alc if you don’t.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Her eyes are pretty like amber in the sunlight. “You don’t have to buy me alc.”

Mina lays on top of you in a dogpile-esque hug. You wrap your arms around her torso and, despite feeling like you’re being crushed, you also feel like you’re being loved. The two often seem to be intertwined.

“Mina?”

“Yeah?”

“I just feel like I’m in some sort of limbo.”

“What? Like, the game?”

“No, what?” You laugh and she moves with your chest. “Like the space between heaven and hell. But like it’s not Earth.”

“...”

“Like where ghosts are? I’m wherever the ghosts are.”

“Okay.” She raises her head to look at you. “Do you mean this as in wanting to…?”

“No, no, not like that! I’m just in some kind of in between. I’m stuck.”

“You don’t feel real?”

You blink. “Yeah.”

Kirishima all of a sudden jumps up and starts screaming and waving at somebody. You and Mina sit up to see Aizawa on the sidewalk a little ways away, a group of first years on his heels.

“Oh. I thought he didn’t come to campus on weekends?” Mina slides off of you to sit properly, watching your teacher all the while.

“He’s the chaperone for the martial arts club.”

Aizawa waves at all of you. You fester.

-------------------------------------

Leaning against the hood of Aizawa’s car, you realize you don’t know how you got here.

You zip your jacket up to your chin, burrow yourself in it. You want to drink something. Or smoke. Or sleep.

“Had a picnic with your friends?”

Aizawa strolls up to you with his own jacket on, black and baggy. You hop up, stare at the zipper, the wrinkles.

The wind bites at your cheeks and you fidget with the hood you’re wearing to cover the st--

“Did you have fun?” Aizawa blinks at you from beneath his mess of hair.

You murmur something in the affirmative.

Aizawa nods slowly, like he’s going to say more. He doesn’t. You both get in the car.

When the two of you get to his house, Aizawa makes tea. He asks you to sit down at the dinner table and if you like English breakfast. He’s not really asking.

When your teacher sits next to you, fragrant black swirling in both your mugs, you start to huff uncomfortably. Your skin is too tight around your throat. Aizawa clears his own.

“How are your sessions with Hound Dog?”

You shrug, rub your neck, stare at your lap.

“Do they help,” he elaborates, pushing, staring, “at all?”

“Sure.”

“Sure?”

You cross your arms. “What else am I supposed to say?”

“The truth. Be honest.”

He says it like it’s easy.

Something touches your feet from beneath the table. You lean back and it’s Kitty skulking about, tail slithering past your ankle.

“Oh, he likes you.” Aizawa chuckles. “How unusual.”

You stare at your teacher while he watches Kitty. The blemishes, wrinkles, and scars on his face, the beard he can’t seem to grow nor get rid of, the smile you’ve hardly seen in your three years of knowing him. His eyes flick to yours. You take a sip of tea.

“Principal Nedzu informed me of his decision regarding your enrollment.”

You shift in your seat. “Okay.”

“Because you can’t keep up with tuition for the foreseeable future, we’ve decided to drop you as a student for the time being.” Aizawa says, careful, all sugar coated and pretty. “There are scholarships we have that can help cover the costs, but your grades aren’t within the competitive range.”

You can’t even hear your heartbeat anymore. It’s just the crumbling.

“My recommendation is to work through your current situation and health issues before continuing with herowork.”

Your current situation? Your health issues? This situation is your entire life. Your ‘health’ issues are ingrained in you as deeply as the ability to walk or breathe.

You turn eighteen in a couple of months and Aizawa won’t have to house you anymore. Then again, that might not end up being a problem.

“What if my Dad gets let out?” You try, palming your cup of tea. “I’ll get him to pay for it. I will.”

Aizawa leans forward in his seat. “As far as I can tell, he’s going to go to prison. They have witnesses and the evidence is all there. And the fact you’re about to turn into an adult means they’re not worried about displacing a child.”

Your neighbors called the cops with every other screaming match you had and all you ever got out of it was a beating. You went to school smelling like garbage, you slept outside, you had bruises. Does anybody know how badly you wanted somebody to just say something back then? Why didn’t they? Why now?

You already moved on. You were fine, you were handling everything fine, you had a fucking life for once, you were making something of yourself despite everything. You did this all yourself. This was yours, not your father’s, and they’re still taking it away from you.

You stare at your palms, the calluses, the scars.

“But, it’s not my fault.”

Aizawa’s as surreal and still as always. “I know.”

Your skin prickles with the black outside that broad, glass wall. The chair you’re sitting in creaks as you lean back in it, a lump in your throat. Your fingers tap on the table, quick. You watch them drum like little soldiers, like rain.

☆

Your dorm is empty except for your desk, bed, and chair.

You stuffed your bedsheets into yet another trash bag. You threw all your clothes into two others. Everything else, all your knick-knacks and snacks and school stuff, are jumbled together in the garbage bag you’re hauling towards the dumpster. Is your vomit still there, or has a week already gone by?

Every night on Aizawa’s couch, you wake up to your father’s footsteps. When you hone in on the sound, you hear him muttering. You shut your eyes tight and tell yourself it’s not real, but what if it is? You told yourself the same thing when it was.

You throw your garbage into the dumpster and something shatters. You turn around and walk away.

It’s the weekend and Mina and her friends are nowhere to be found. You’d usually bump into them in the elevator by now, or the commons, or by walking around campus, or they’d come find you -- but today there’s nothing. You haven’t told them you’re leaving yet.

They’ve been talking about you, you’re certain of it. Every time you meet up with them they give each other odd looks or sneak glances at you like there’s something on your face. Hawks was right.

You drag the rest of your shit from your dorm to the elevator. You press the first floor and wait as you travel down, down, down. The doors open. You hold one trash bag in each hand and kick the final one out the elevator and into the commons, keep kicking it forward every couple of steps. So, this is what all of your efforts have come to.

You kick the bag through the front door. The star Altair is seventeen light years away, which means you’re still in the womb there, that nothing bad has happened to you.

You kick the bag down the steps. Your mother’s in the air, somewhere, and even then you’ve probably never breathed her.

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. People take parts of you and then leave to places where you can’t find them.

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. Why couldn’t the two of you have had just one more meaningless conversation?

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. Does she think about you when she folds her clothes?

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. It’s about the oranges she peeled for you.

You kick the bag down the sidewalk. She never even told you why.

“Fuck’re you doing?”

You jerk your head up to see Bakugo standing in front of you, narrowed eyes flitting from each trash bag to your crumpled face.

“Taking out the trash.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Can you just leave me alone?” You snap, making your way around him with some extra kicks. He turns to watch you do each one.

“What, did you dismember someone or something?” Bakugo snatches the bag from your feet, falling into step with you.

“No.” You trudge along, trash bags swinging awkwardly in your hands. “I don’t need help.”

“Yeah, well, you looked retarded.”

“You can’t say that.”

“I think the retards out there would give me a pass if they saw you.”

“Bakugo!” You laugh, the urge to smack him on the arm squashed by your bags. “Seriously?”

He cracks a smile. “What? It’s true.”

You sigh. “Where is everybody?”

“Ramen.” Bakugo looks at you funny. “It’s Sunday.”

You stare at him before snapping your gaze back to your feet. “Right.”

“You really need to start coming to those.”

You count cracks in the concrete. “You’re here, too.”

“I don’t skip every week, idiot.” He looks around. “We’re going to the parking lot?”

“Uh, yeah.” You jog down the steps leading to the lot, walk along the sidewalk until you reach Aizawa’s car. “You can go.”

Bakugo sets your trash bag down on the ground. “Isn’t that Mr. Aizawa’s car?”

“Who knows.” You put your bags down as well, sit on the curb. “Thanks for carrying my bag.”

Bakugo stands there for a moment. Then, he opens the bag he was carrying, rummages through it.

“What the fuck?” He pulls out one of your shirts and holds it out to you, like he needs to show you the evidence. “You’re moving out?”

You hug your knees to your chest, rest your chin on them.

“Hello? Can I get a fucking answer?”

“Yeah, I fucking am, alright? I’m dropping out.”

Bakugo gawks at you. Like, genuinely, mouth open and brows pinched like you told him to go kill himself.

He swings his arms in loud gestures. “Fuck you mean, dropping out? We graduate in two months!”

“Yeah, I know.” Your jaw clenches. Your brain is thick with something, slime, soju. “I don’t have a choice, okay? My Dad’s gonna go to jail, I can’t afford tuition anymore.”

“They have scholarships, mine’s basically full-ride—”

“Okay, good for fucking you!”

You shift uncomfortably on the curb. A peek at Bakugo shows he’s standing there with clenched fists, feet shifting.

“What is it with you?” He grinds out. “You flip like a goddamn switch. You’re sweet as hell one second, having me thinking I’m okay with rotting my teeth off, and then you act like you can’t stand me. You act like we didn’t make out for two hours and spend the night in your room ‘cuz you begged me not to leave.”

You’re going to rip out your esophagus.

“I was drunk.” It’s creeping up your shoulders, going up your shirt. “I—“ Your brow pinches— “I was drunk.”

“Oh, fuck off, you were tipsy at most.”

“So what?” You glare up at him. Something isn’t right. “It was a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Bakugo’s nose wrinkles. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yeah, I am.” Something isn’t right. “What, you think I’m easy or something?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about! I mean, you tried to get with me the day after I got out of the hospital, like, are you fucking for real?”

“I wasn’t trying anything, you came onto me!”

“Oh, shut up! Just go make one of your fucking smoothies or something.”

Something isn’t right. You huff. Bakugo’s nostrils flare as he stomps towards you, crouches to your level, and grips you by the shoulders.

It’s loud, blaring, and riddled with curses. His fingers are bruising. You frown, shake your head, shake and shake.

You were drunk. But, you’d already told yourself that that didn’t matter, didn’t you?

Glass shatters and you shriek. You cover your face, drop to your knees, but Aizawa is already helping you up.

Something isn’t right. You’re standing with Aizawa in his kitchen. Eri is hiding behind the dinner table.

The glass crunches beneath your feet as you take a step back. Aizawa winces, urges you to calm down, but what if this is like the sounds you hear at night?

Is any of this real? Was that a dream? Is this a dream? What if you’re still bleeding out in the stairwell?

Eri isn’t behind the table anymore. You’re lying on the couch with a blanket over you, the TV flashing with Sailor Moon. Instead of your father’s footsteps, Hawks retches from the next room over.

[across-every-universe]

the fact that he’s actually secretly this shy nerd will forever be my favorite fact abt him because whatttt that’s so mf CUTE. like okay yeah he can be “smooth” when he has zero emotional investment and he just wants info from someone. but when he’s talking to the traveler or his friends in game abt smth important he’s so emotionally stilted and a little shy and just tries to cover it up

like in his teapot voicelines where the traveler asks it if he likes it here and you can AUDIBLY hear him trying not to say “wow it feels like home which is a concept im really unfamiliar with and it’s making me emotional” and he ends up just going “uhhhhh you make me feel happy. like wine. which is a normal and healthy sentiment. also if you need help around the house i will do literally anything for you. k bye”

[fandomwe1rd0]

My Review of episode 8 of the Rick and Morty anime:

Okkk episode 8 of the anime here we go! Obvious spoilers under the cut!

So yeah I hate it. Elle is the same intolerable Mary Sue, but this episode does have a few highlights, let's start off with those then I can complain about this episode!

RICK AND MORTY ACTUALLY INTERACT! Yes, it's underwhelming, especially considering we hate to wait for 7 episodes straight before they have a real interaction, BUT! I can't help it you guyssss I'm easy to please, and I have missed these two SO MUCH! No it doesn't at all compare to their dynamic in the original show, but I'm just happy that they are like…actually talking and INTERACTING! Probably made this one of my favorite episodes, purely just because they interacted…yeah my standards are in the dirt.

I'm glad Beth, Space Beth, and Summer were actually pretty badass in the battle, even if Space Beth literally worshipped Elle before that but let's not think about that right now, these are the positives

Uh uhm…uhhhhh well uhhh I….uhm…long haired Rick was…fine…? And the after credits scene was fine…I guess?

Now with that aside, that is quite literally the only positive things I have to say about this episode, it is still garbage, make no mistake about that. Now we're moving onto the negatives

I FUCKING HATE ELLE! I hate the line "You're way more useful than Morty" Not only do they have to worship Elle, but they have to take a giant crap on Morty in the process, yes Morty is insulted in the show, but it actually has plot importance, showing his growing repressed rage and low self esteem. That line was just mean.

Rick and Morty's interaction is very underwhelming. We had to wait 7 episodes to see Rick tell Morty to shut up when Morty cries and we see them talk to long haired Rick, I will cave and admit they do actually interact, but I mean…it…it's not good…it's just very underwhelming like…we had to wait 7 episodes for this? And it's literally almost the end of the season, I really hope the next 2 episodes are Rick and Morty centered, cause the lack of Rick and Morty interacting in a show that's LITERALLY CALLED "Rick and Morty" is insane

Morty and Elle's relationship is again very forced, they have no romantic chemistry and their relationship LITERALLY begins with Elle unconsensually kissing Morty so uh…and they just are really boring as a couple in general, and they aren't even a cute couple, I know Morty is 14 and Elle is probably 16, but I mean, Morty looks 12, and Elle looks 16, it's just more boring and even together it looks creepy, I just do not like it. And also Elle didn't even try to stand up for Morty when Summer said that she was more useful than Morty, then has the NERVE to glare at Rick when Morty cried. Like c'mon girlie, the hypocrisy is showing. That's not even mentioning that their relationship is literally the DEFINETION of "tell, don't show" where Morty just says how much he loves Elle and how comfortable and safe he feels with her and blah, blah, blah, blah, it's just so forced and awkward, I am NOT a fan of them as a couple.

Hey, remember in Meeseeks and Destroy where Rick was actually worried about Morty when he started crying? Yeah…I miss that Rick, in the anime Rick literally just tells Morty to shut up and says he feels sorry for him like…t-that's not comforting Rick, crazy how they made RICK unlikable when I am someone who literally still loves me through everything, it's insane.

Hey remember that plotline in episode 6 where there was a legitimately interesting plotline that put Elle, a major characters, life in danger, yeah, that doesn't matter now, now it will only affect long haired Rick, I'm guess they meant to raise some questions about like selfishness or something, but it comes off as awkward

It is confusing as hell.

It's an Elle centered episode.

Rick is even more selfish than usual.

The dialogue is very unnatural as usual.

This is a nitpick, but Long haired Rick and normal Rick insulting each other for being old and their bald spot was dumb and unfunny, I know they both have that and are the same age and that's the joke but…it wasn't funny

They do attempt some jokes, but they aren't funny and are just awkward and you just get the realization like "Oooohhh that was a joke…"

Conclusion: It sucks, I'm sorry it's so bad, I'm gonna give it a 2/10…I think? There was 3 things I liked about the episode so uhm…at least there's that.

[deathiscoldbatman]

Autism creature Floyd Lawton bisexual rights thoughts

Re-reading the Ostrander Suicide Squad series, as one does. Quite happy I own the compendiums now. I feel like the fandom is too cowardly to admit it but Floyd and Digger/George definitely fucked nasty yeah? The issue where he brings DEADSHOT of all people to his own mother's funeral sure is uhhhhh something. That's not a normal homie thing, even speaking as someone who is severely lacking in the homies department. I may just be gay, but that really does feel like a "bringing your lover to a depressing family gathering and saying he's just your 'friend' to cover with your homophobic family".

Also there's the whole thing in Secret Six with Floyd and Thomas that cannot possibly have any heterosexual explanation.

[loopylostandfound]

simon blackquill for ask game >:3

oh I am so unprepared uh *drops notes all over the place* hahaha I'm so normal abt him WHEEEEE let's go uhhhhh

- how I feel abt this character

feral. im climbing him like a tree and gnawing on his shoulders like a rabid beaver. can beavers be rabid? who cares I am one now. im shaking him in my mouth like a dog with a chew toy. im tucking him gently into bed with a kiss on the forehead. im forcing him to go to therapy. we're adopting a cat together next week.

- all the people I ship romantically with this character

me nahyuta, apollo, klavier, uendo

- my non-romantic otp for this character

athena! i love their ride-or-die friendship and they would definitely bully each other into taking care of themselves. fun hc I have for them is they can benchpress each other and they do it at the gym to intimidate people

- my unpopular opinion about this character

not sure I have one hdjskdjfjf most of my opinions abt him seem to be shared by plenty of ppl but hmm...okay yeah I've thought for several minutes and can't think of anything lol sorry hfjdjdj

- one thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

he and maya should meet. they could be unstoppable

- my otp

blackmadhi hdjkwkdkfkf altho justquill is a CLOSE second i never expected to get so feral abt them but holy shit. lol. but i was into blackmadhi before I even met either of them somehow so I think its safe to say the brainrot is more powerful there hdjekwkfjf. also I just love the parallels in their stories and I think that (after hatefucking in a janitors closet for a few weeks) they could get along really well. and everyone would hate them so much <3

- my crossover ship

I don't rlly do crossovers much so I have nothing for this one sadly 😭

- a headcanon fact

i will give several.

he has an extensive collection of bandannas for taka in different colors and patterns and one of these has miku on it because simon likes miku and athena got it for him. his build before his release from prison was actually pretty wiry and lean although muscled, but after he gets out and learns to take care of himself he fills out more and has a softer body though still fully able to pick people up and throw them through walls. see above hc about the gym. he's actually really good with kids bc he just treats them like mini adults and doesn't baby talk to them so they like him a lot. he has some sort of Gender Feeling but he doesn't feel the need to address it. he's cool w mainly he/him but throwing in a they or a random neopronoun will make him happy too. also he has a big di-[i am forcibly dragged from the stage kicking and screaming]

[stampgwifeyera]

Wolfpire introduction/timeline:

Introduction:

Uhhhhh idk how to introduce things i barely got a C in english but the idea behind wolfpire is like a dark fantasy au of community. the big changes are:

This all takes place in and around Aberystwyth(A-buh-rist-wuth),wales because I'm welsh and also america perplexes me.

Troy is now a werewolf,he lives in his family's pack (it's like a small village in the countryside) after his mom died he was made the leader against his will by his dad since he wanted Troy to grow up faster and become more responsible. Oh and troys ftm now because ik him better then harmon.(also ill be referring to younger troy as troy i wont be giving him a deadname or anything like that because i think thats kinda weird tbh)

Abed is a half vampire, his mom is a human and his dad is a vampire,his mom left (i've said before that she died but i’m changing that) due to similar reasons in the show, abed was always alone since he was home-schooled (as a protective measure), and since he couldn't go to the movies (overstimulation makes it impossible to hide his vampiric side) abed reads screenplays and re-enacts/draws scenes he thinks would be cool. also Since he didn't go to Greendale he instead works at his dads cafe which doubles as a normal cafe but also has a V.I.P area for any other monsters in town who need a place to go and don't need to hide themselves.

Annie wasn't able to go to rehab due to her parents, she's constantly tired from all nighters she has to pull for her straight A+’s (or else her parents will kick her out) it doesn't help that she doesn't have a study group to help her.

Other characters pending….

Greendale community college is now ‘greendale paranormal investigators’ a (not so successful) agency that investigates,documents and “takes care of” any paranormal/supernatural activity, it also has a trainee/apprenticeship program.

My best attempt at a timeline of events(this'll be short for now because i don't have too many events “planned” in my head):

Troy and abed first met when they're younger like 5-7, Abed was in his backyard re-enacting a scene from a screenplay with some pebble/rock statues he made, when troy who got lost on a field trip with his family and found abed playing in his backyard and got excited to see another kid his age so he jumped into his backyard and thats when they first met, they talked for hours and hours troy was happy to finally have a person who didn't judge or criticize him and abed was happy to have someone to talk to who wasn't “too busy” to listen to him. I also feel like abed did that speech thing with jeff in ep1 but with troy.

Periodically when he can troy would sneak away and visit abed at least once a week after a while abed starts baking snacks he thinks troy will like, introducing him to Gobi who was worried for troy but also happy that his son had someone to talk and specificity looking for screenplays he knows troy will like so they can re-enact them together. After about 5-6months of this happening though abed notices that troys coming less and less and eventually he stops coming at all… Yeah thats kinda it  😅 i don't actually have much of any other ideas bouncing strong enough around my head sadly :(  if you cant tell already this is still a very massive work in progress.

Where the idea came from:

basically back in October i got a an idea after watching Danny in dywtsadb and wanted to relate that to community so i made abed a vampire (instead of a cannibal but i mean those are basically the same anyway) and i also wanted troy to be a sexy monster but i didn't want him to also be a vamp and the next thing my brain thought of was a werewolf, i feel like that tells you a lot about who i am as a person. link to google doc with all this

[not-available-for-comment]

Just going to circle this excellent addition back around to the connection to radfem TERFs in op’s posts. A lot of radfem and proto-radfem rhetoric that I see posits this “universal” female experience that trans women are supposedly inherently excluded from (and that trans men are misguidedly trying to escape). This is obviously bullshit in some superficial ways—even just normal variation in family dynamics can give two women from similar class and cultural backgrounds different experiences. And there’s a strain of radfem rhetoric—usually aimed at trans men—that tries to claim that all women secretly hate being women or feel indifferent towards their gender but bioessentialism traps everyone in their AGAB and it’s best to just accept that. Which is uhhhhh NOT true and makes me very 👀 about the gender feelings of the people who try to claim it is.

But I really feel most radfem rhetoric falls apart instantly when the lens of race or class is applied. As OP says, an awful lot of radfem rhetoric is just “angel in the home” benevolent misogyny reskinned for a slightly different audience. But, as @mountaindwellingcreature points out, almost all of the supposedly “universal”, “essential” female experiences and traits posited by this strain of thought have NEVER been applied to women of color and Black women especially. And working class women of any race are frequently left out as well, as are many disabled women. Not only do women in these groups but especially women of color experience a totally different type of misogyny in their day-to-day lives, but their experiences of their gender in general are shaped by the fact that the basic assumptions of the people around them will be radically different.

In non-radical white feminism this is a reality that is only just beginning to be very hesitantly and haltingly addressed. Black women of all classes have been writing for some time about just how much of their reality remains unacknowledged by feminist rhetoric and activism, and that’s why it’s important to integrate Black voices like bell hooks, Audre Lorde, and Mikki Kendall into any formal study of feminism. (For a very accessible discussion of the ways that feminism could help everyone more by incorporating the concerns of poor and working class Black women, see Kendall’s book Hood Feminism.) In previous generations, many Black women subscribed to a more Black-inclusive strain of women’s empowerment called womanism, largely because the main feminist movement was so intensely dismissive of their concerns.

All of this leads to my point: Radfem ideology doesn’t even remotely make sense for most cis women. It requires a model of femininity that has only ever been applied to white middle class able bodied cis women in the West. I have seen people on this very website try to universalize their experiences of girlhood or womanhood to vast unifying archetypes and while I’m happy they’re enjoying their gender that does not work on any kind of activist of political level. The only way to carry actual for real women’s empowerment feminism forward into the future is to expand our definition of womanhood or else. And yeah, I include trans women in that but I also include Black women. I include working class women. I include Latino women and Asian women. I include women who don’t even live in Europe or North America. I include women who do but have precarious immigration status. I include women who can’t be caregivers because they need to be taken care of. I include women who are always considered default caregivers even when they SHOULD be the ones being taken care of. I include all queer women who don’t happen to fit the narrow definition of “acceptable” queerness allowed in radfem ideology. Radical feminism is an ideological dead end because its definition of womanhood is a bankrupt and weak-willed concession to a version of feminism that was incomplete and self-defeating when it was established, and one that many brilliant women have been systematically working to dismantle for decades.

The way to “save feminism”, if that’s the sort of thing that keeps you up at night, is to make it big enough to apply to and uplift many kinds of women, not by locking it down to the kind of humorless weirdo who breaks out the calipers on every woman they meet to ensure they meet a country club’s definition of womanhood.

We need to bring back the term “benevolent sexism” into widespread use for real. It’s a major mechanism in how bioessentialist Girlboss Radfems can be turned into bioessentialist conservative Tradwives.

[wolfpiretrobed]

Introduction: (if youve seen this already its becuase im moving blogs)

Uhhhhh idk how to introduce things i barely got a C in english but the idea behind wolfpire is like a dark fantasy au of community. the big changes are:

This all takes place in and around Aberystwyth(A-buh-rist-wuth),wales because I'm welsh and also america perplexes me.

Troy is now a werewolf,he lives in his family's pack (it's like a small village in the countryside) after his mom died he was made the leader against his will by his dad since he wanted Troy to grow up faster and become more responsible. Oh and troys ftm now because ik him better then harmon.(also ill be referring to younger troy as troy i wont be giving him a deadname or anything like that because i think thats kinda weird tbh)

Abed is a half vampire, his mom is a human and his dad is a vampire,his mom left (i've said before that she died but i’m changing that) due to similar reasons in the show, abed was always alone since he was home-schooled (as a protective measure), and since he couldn't go to the movies (overstimulation makes it impossible to hide his vampiric side) abed reads screenplays and re-enacts/draws scenes he thinks would be cool. also Since he didn't go to Greendale he instead works at his dads cafe which doubles as a normal cafe but also has a V.I.P area for any other monsters in town who need a place to go and don't need to hide themselves.

Annie wasn't able to go to rehab due to her parents, she's constantly tired from all nighters she has to pull for her straight A+’s (or else her parents will kick her out) it doesn't help that she doesn't have a study group to help her.

Other characters pending….

Greendale community college is now ‘greendale paranormal investigators’ a (not so successful) agency that investigates,documents and “takes care of” any paranormal/supernatural activity, it also has a trainee/apprenticeship program.

My best attempt at a timeline of events(this'll be short for now because i don't have too many events “planned” in my head):

Troy and abed first met when they're younger like 5-7, Abed was in his backyard re-enacting a scene from a screenplay with some pebble/rock statues he made, when troy who got lost on a field trip with his family and found abed playing in his backyard and got excited to see another kid his age so he jumped into his backyard and thats when they first met, they talked for hours and hours troy was happy to finally have a person who didn't judge or criticize him and abed was happy to have someone to talk to who wasn't “too busy” to listen to him. I also feel like abed did that speech thing with jeff in ep1 but with troy.

Periodically when he can troy would sneak away and visit abed at least once a week after a while abed starts baking snacks he thinks troy will like, introducing him to Gobi who was worried for troy but also happy that his son had someone to talk and specificity looking for screenplays he knows troy will like so they can re-enact them together. After about 5-6months of this happening though abed notices that troys coming less and less and eventually he stops coming at all… Yeah thats kinda it  😅 i don't actually have much of any other ideas bouncing strong enough around my head sadly :(  if you cant tell already this is still a very massive work in progress.

Where the idea came from:

basically back in October i got a an idea after watching Danny in dywtsadb and wanted to relate that to community so i made abed a vampire (instead of a cannibal but i mean those are basically the same anyway) and i also wanted troy to be a sexy monster but i didn't want him to also be a vamp and the next thing my brain thought of was a werewolf, i feel like that tells you a lot about who i am as a person.

link to google doc with all this

[noxrynne]

uhhhhh this site sucks i had to edit this four times to get the thing to actually do thee cut goddamn its more cuz its a block'a text no one should be forced to scroll THAT long over sheesh

Just putting it under a read more as people really hate the animation/show and the weird thing is it's one of the few times I think I've related to a character present in it (who is usually the topic of everyone's derision) in such a way where it's like looking in a mirror when I was... god, fucking 12 - 22~, and kind of it clicking in my head what was wrong with me. Not like, full picture, but. I don't know, I never really related to a character like this before and it's weird. Not necessarily in a bad way, either. Like, it makes me uncomfortable. Sure, but it's kind of... a healthy discomfort, for me at least. To see it all laid out in this way where it... and I feel pathetically stupid for this, clicked in my head why someone from my trans therapy group yelled at me after they realized how I was treating myself. I went through a lot of similar dark places. I behaved in similar ways. I got yelled at, like I deserved, but never understood why someone cared. I've been working on self improvement in this area for a while, and it's absolutely the hardest one. And a lot of it did, maybe stupidly? Begin with this character and some of the songs that followed, and now I'm really thinking back on it since my boyfriend and I watched the newly released show and. There's a scene that hit me really hard. I don't think it didn't belong there. It nailed in the idiot part of my brain the "see? other people have problems like that. Know people like that. Are treated that way, too. It's not that there's something wrong with you, intrinsically. Just a dash of rotten luck and collapsing in on yourself in the aftermath." It took it seriously, in a context that meshed with my brain to where I felt like "yeah, that's. That's at least. How I felt. Pretty much. When I was treated like that. Brushed it off and turned it into jokes, too." I don't wanna get into all the nitty gritty details, because they aren't pretty and I still have to contend with it. But it felt kinda... mmm, I don't know, like when I saw so many people shitting on it - saying it doesn't belong, in fact, this should never be portrayed, it's immoral to portray this and so on. I have such a warped view of... the topic, I guess? But I mean, it did help me contextualize a few things better that I've been struggling to. And I found a lot of comfort in that uncomfortable scene because of that. And... like, I know I have a... how do I phrase it, like a... not... normal view? Since I... like, was kinda... I mean. Like. I. I don't know. I mean I know. I just. You know. But I don't know, like. I feel nervous talking about it, because of the media property it's related to and how strongly people feel about it. And, I mean, I know the healthy answer is to just be "fuck it, you're allowed" but I guess I just think back to all the times things I liked/cared about were shit on and feel like "Should... I feel... guilty? Because I kinda do. And I don't think I should. But maybe I should? Is there something to it or... something that I don't get?" and yeah this is about Angel Dust in Hazbin Hotel. yeah this is the character story that got me to (even with the pilot/songs) try to actually tackle this shit 'cuz I still can't get myself to physically talk about these things irl. and. idk. its. mm. its hard to really feel like im. i just. i dont talk about it much at all 'cuz i dont wanna annoy people if they hate the show 'n stuff 'cuz i know ppl feel strongly and. yeah. so i over explained it because a part of me wanted to express a kinda... happiness that a story got me to think better about myself. and i dont. understand why there's so many like. snap judgments or vitriol, i guess.

[haunted-typewryter]

uhhh hello! my name is ghost, i write for fun on the side whenever i have ideas!!! i enjoy making oc x canon ships because i am cringe but i am free and uhh yeah i decided i’m gonna share that content because it makes me happy so maybe it’ll make someone else happy too :)

i’m really new to tumblr, i gotta figure out how to make my account pretty or whatevr .. but for now ! i am just messing around

but uhhhhh yeah :D i’ll try and post some writing soon! the current hyperfixation is FNAF.. specifically security breach …. so it’ll probs be my oc x canon for that… LOLOLOL

also!!! i may end up writing some x readers? if anyone is interested in that? if you have requests for either blurbs of my ocs, ideas for oc x canon, or at some point maybe x readers feel free to send in an ask!

uhh i also think, along w/ just normal writing, im gonna do some introductions to my ocs ! that i’ll be writing about !!! sooo yeah :) gotta figure out how those tumblr writers make the masterlist thing… gotta figure out a LOT actually LMAOAOAO but i’ll get there :)

i’m also very new to tagging so if i’m doing it wrong please politely correct me.. i am very lost rn 🧍

[phantomrose96]

Sorry in advance because this is definitely coming out of left field. But I know you’ve mentioned that you run and I was just wondering if maybe you have some tips for someone who’s starting out. I’m severely lacking motivation, but I know it will be good for me from both a physical and mental perspective. Thanks even if you don’t answer this ask, you’re always a lot of fun to see on my dash.

sdjhbdshj okay scattered advice time!!!

Prioritize making it something you can maintain

Maybe sounds a little generic but I think so many people are like "yeah this is when I turn my life around! I'm doing a Youtubefluencer Mega-Cardio Death Bootcamp 8 Week Video Series" and then do something miserably hard for a week and burn out completely because the idea of keeping pace with it is just impossible.

Start slow. Start easier. Prioritize making it something you can start looking forward to. If you wanna walk, then walk. Appreciate pretty things outside. If running for 2 minutes makes you miserable then run for 1 minute and trade off with walking. I started off like that because my running stamina was absolutely terrible. 1 minute running, 1 minute walking, and even then my running pace was slow. Find fun music to listen to. Like really fun music. 8th grade dance hits come on, no shame.

Set little goals for yourself you can slowly build on (even better if you have friends or family who'd be happy for you hearing about you setting and meeting goals.) And if you can't meet a goal, don't force it. You're better off getting into a mindset of "oh I'll be excited to try again tomorrow" instead of forcing it and getting frustrated or having a miserable time from overdoing it.

Also, gamify it. However you want. When I first got into running I just did it on the treadmill, and I'd use that time to watch anime on my ipad. And cool that became my anime time. My rewatch FMA time. After 2020 I now mostly run outside and it's my get outside and look at pretty things time. My make amvs in my head of my characters time. My plan-most-of-ABoT time. Sometimes I'll make up something REALLY stupid like "oh what if everyone was being held captive and the murderer said ill let everyone go if someone can run this whole running route"

Basically I think a lot of people shoot themselves in the foot right from the start by getting into exercising as something vaguely punishing, some like "i gotta clean up my act" drill-sergeant style endeavor that pits them against it instead of viewing it as something that's allowed to be friendly and slow and steady.

Like sure, discipline is still involved. But that's more about overcoming the "hrugh couch is so comfy" feeling and not about like, putting myself through a damaging and punishing ordeal.

Uhhhhh some equipment things

Shoes matter. Not sure if you have the resources to get really good running shoes (if you're looking, I recommend Brooks a lot. I have the Ghost 14 and they're comfy for both running and normal wear.) But at least try not to be running in like, ratty old falling apart ancient decaying tennis shoes. Running has a lot of repetitive motion so if you're in really crummy shoes you could end up with blisters or just kinda hurting your foot. Also I recommend trying shoes on in person if you can. Finding the right fit can be fickle. If you go to a running store like Marathon Sports or Road Runner they usually let you try shoes on and go run up and down the sidewalk a little.

(Secondary plug for socks. These are the kind I have and they're kinda expensive but it's not like I have to buy socks often.)

Also depending on the individual, sports bras can matter a lot. They definitely do for me. Another thing that's best to try on IRL if you can, and it's another case where high quality goes a long way. Unfortunately it looks like they discontinued the kind I have :<. I own 8 of these, lol. The first two I bought back in I wanna say 2016 and they're as good as the day I bought them, and this is with constant use. So hopefully there's something similar. (Also, protip: it's best not to put sports bras in the dryer. Better to hang them up to dry.)

Oh also! Good headphones can be important. Tragically I keep having terrible luck with "good" headphones breaking out of the blue so I don't have recommendations.

Anyway, that's what I got!