#unless im completely wrong
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i feel like a lot of the takes on greek mythology i'm seeing are seriously lacking in contextual awareness?
#“apollo is known for being the god of queers” where though#i've heard of dionysus being known for being queer. he's the god of effeminacy and such#but apollo having male lovers at the time wasn't considered queer in the modern sense? it was pretty normal#it's not the same as having a male lover now#i don't know if i'm getting my point across. interpret however you want but i feel like some people dont realize#that's not how the ancients saw it?#unless im completely wrong#i have no idea. im just seeing some UPGs being presented as historical facts and getting a little peeved by it#that's just an example i've seen plenty of other ones#i think hermes was another?#chem speaks ₊ 𐙚#helpol#paganism#hellenic pagan#hellenic polytheist#hellenic polytheism
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I happened upon the Japanese cover of Gideon the Ninth yesterday and I can't stop thinking about it. Who is this woman. What happened to her melanin
#the locked tomb#and the skull facepaint but y'know#this is just some lady 😂#no hate necessarily to the artist im not entirely sure how cover art works in jpn but#but theres a decent chance they knew little to nothing about the book and thjs was just them doing what was requested#unless im completely wrong
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what
The prior ask was either from you or @loafthecat!
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my favorite type of blorbo is "entirely new types of trauma being invented for them within this very story" kinda characters. "the dsm cannot even begin to adequately describe what is going on in there" kinda characters. "they shouldn't be scared of therapy, therapy should be scared of them" kinda characters
#aphelion.txt#siffrin#xie lian#arguably#scaramouche#and yknow what?#luo binghe#fandom#thistle#if im being indulgent#funny that all the blorbos i just listed have mega mondo abandonment issues but that's like only. the tip of the iceberg for any of them#i'm most likely not going to latch onto a blorbo unless there's something sosososoooo wrong w them it'll take probably#millions of words of fanfiction to unravel completely#'you run out of canonized '_ issues' tags to describe the blorbo on ao3 and you still havent really covered it' typea blorbos.#geto suguru and xue yang kind of go here but not quite#like i dont think their trauma is the unfathomable newly invented type its more the way they reacted to it.#so really only the latter conditions need to be fulfilled to make me go completely insane. but whatever
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some ultrakill fans flaming people for playing on lenient/harmless is so funny to me because here i am in my little corner playing on harmless with Also 100% damage reduction (in major assist settings) because my severe anxiety cannot handle the idea of me taking any damage at all . i am wearing my propeller hat and eating my lollipop and i am having fun :3 (and maybe one day i can ease that anxiety and play without major assists)
#me when my crippling anxiety is crippling fr#listen . its not as if i Want to get fucking heart palpitations whenever a few goddamn filth spawn in a room#its just how it is . and the only way to ease my irrational ass anxiety is by becoming fucking invincible#I KNOW ULTRAKILL IS SUPPOSED TO BE A (at least somewhat) STRESSFUL AND FAST PACED GAME !!! do not get me wrong#but holy shit man . do not underestimate my anxiety#fucking minecraft survival stresses me out when i encounter a fuckin skeleton (unless its multiplayer . then Suddenly all is ok . stupid#ass anxiety bruh fml)#prelude was stressing me out . PRELUDE . THE FUCKING TUTORIAL#im hoping i can ease up and slowly raise the damage taken to at least like 50% . eventually#im on 1% damage rn because even raising from 0 to 5 was scary LMAOO#like its not as if i want to play it the fuckin baby way . i WANT to be able to actually play ultrakill with damage n shit#but i just have to ease into it ig . because i cant even play video games without my anxiety screaming at me smh . fym my anxiety is a#permanent fixture in my life ? bullshit#im just hoping i can play Normally someday . eventually . because while playing with like 0 damage is more fun than being stressed out 24/7#it Is ofc . a little boring (bc No Shit) .#i want to challenge myself and i will . eventually#surely if ive done all a b and c sides in celeste i can do ultrakill on harmless haha right#ignore the fact that theyre two completely different games and that ive never played an fps in my life#and also that i have 15k deaths in celeste LOL (at least the idea of dying in that game isnt terrifying . shrug)#intense games like ultrakill just aint for everyone . thats why the assist options are there and why there r easier modes#theyre there for losers (/lh) like Me !!!! and i appreciate that theyre in the game bc i Do rlly like ultrakill#and i Do rlly want to play it (‘properly’ someday) . its js that ppl have issues like motion sickness or anxiety#and if they need assistance or an easier difficulty to enjoy the game then thats fuckin fine#literally who cares . ive watched so many videos on ultrakill now and ive seen all the tech n shit and know all the lore#its not as if i dont know the game enough to play it properly lmao#but sigh . at least i can do fun movement tech (except boosting . havent tried yet idk) like slam storage#movement is ez . combat is Hard (but not in the usual way like aim . just Anxiety™)#im ranting so much im such a yapper . anyway#ultrakill#kristiliyaps
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thinking about bruce ignoring the bat-signal for once in favour of trying to figure out a way to win back custody of jason, and how alfred brought it up while reminding bruce to stay in touch with his compassionate side
#i was reminded by last last last last post but this is completely irrelevant to it bc im prettyyy sure jason isn't told why bruce was late#coming to his and bullock's rescue (unless im remembering wrong. which is very possible bc im half asleep) but the point is. look. here's#bruce putting batman on the shelf for jason again even if jason doesnt know it. and then he doesnt (cant tbh) in aditf or in utrh.#jason todd
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the official release of the NiGHTS into dreams ost is called the "perfect album" while the journey of dreams ost is simply called the "original soundtrack". this is in fact a reference to the fact that in comparison the journey of dreams soundtrack is shit
#not sonic#nights into dreams#i dont like swearing unless im quoting someone (or if im using one of my select few swear words) however it must be said#i DO like the journey of dreams ost dont get me wrong#but when compared to the original? hello???#the first NiGHTS ost is weird and wonderful with a variety of genres and the songs all fit the stages perfectly#journey of dreams' original tracks are mostly just classical OR classical with synth#which is cool! but a complete downgrade#and the majority of the tracks from NID are just. kinda bad.#peaceful moment is ok and i like the additional guitar stuff they add#(i still prefer the original)#gate of your dream just sounds like they turned reverb and echo way up and called it a day. points for being more dreamlike!#however deducting those points because it sounds awful in comparison.#dreams dreams isnt as heartfelt (although i LOVE all the remixes)#i could go on but i wont
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was it ever established if dee & dennis slept in separate rooms or the same 1 growing up. bc in my head i like to think that despite their stupidly big house frank & barbara just shoved them both in the same room so theyd have more space to do wtv in the rest of the house. but im actually not sure if that contradicts canon in some way? i dont remember if it was ever mentioned
#my issue is that i accidentally erase canon in my mind bc i just forget whats real and whats not#like i completely forgot the gang were separated into schools by gender#ended up synthesizing a canon in which this did not happen#and i dont think its a big deal but i do like to be decently canon accurate especially in fic#unless its an intentional deviation which is different#i truly do not think its ever mentioned in the show tho? someone tell me if im wrong#dee reynolds#dennis reynolds#trash twins#iasip
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love when people ask me to hang out,, or just talk to me when they dnt have to,,, makes me so happy
like. woah. you chose to talk to me. you werent forced to. woah. you chose to. me. what. woah
feels odd. like why wouldnt you choose to be around ME. im not the funnest person to be around,,,,,,,,,,,,, but when ppl do it makes me so so so so so happy even when i dnt say like hrkdgirhdifhejdhsjkshthsjdd
sadly, im a boring person. that doesnt happen often. maybe once a month or every other month idk,,,,, only person i see more than that is lala and thats cuz her parents see me as their other child so they ask for me a lot,, most of the time lala doesnt even know im going there
#like i completely get why people dnt talk to me often unless they have to#but it makes me so so so so so so so happy when people choose to talk to me#i struggle to say it or show it and im scared it sounds like i dnt like talking to people sometimes#lowkey jst think smths wrong w me cuz why is it SO hard to socialize#like omfg cant even think of a simple response what.
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hoy oh boy i love when my mom very loudly and very openly complains about how much of a brat she thinks i am in front of other people that we haven’t seen in over two years in a public setting where other people can hear and are looking over and probably thinking i’m some spoiled brat because she paints me in such a negative light to threes poeple
i love how she openly jokes about beating me for not socializing tonight (or tomorrow because i know i’m gonna have a drained social battery by the end of tomorrow) and she even goes as far as to say there are mandated reporters and she doesn’t care
i love how she claims i’m not social or independent enough after proceeding to throw me to the wolves for 10 hours on my own and i can’t text her for help or she’ll just say i should’ve known what i’m doing already
i love how she complains that i’m not physical with her but i am with my dad because im a “spoiled daddy’s girl” even though in reality i can’t mention anything to her without her shooting it down but my dad listens to me and takes the time to engage with me
i love it.
#vent#i sound like a complete brat#i sound like a pussy#boohoo i don’t wanna socialize because my social battery is dead and i literally want to tear my head out thinking abt tomorrow#wow#twenty four hours from now it’ll be mostly done unless she decides to take my room key to force me to socialize or smth#she might do it. she’s threatened to#and i get it maybe i do need to socialize#but i had a mental breakdown this morning because i had no idea what i was doing and she offered absolutely no help#she said i had to be on my own#i sound like a brat#maybe that’s too much to ask#i’m literally so angry for no reason right now and i know there’s nothing wrong with my brain im just not normal ig#she’s told me to “stop acting autistic” whatever that means#whatever#ranted a bit huh?
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we still don't know who that random tailstube human is . man
#i remember at first thinking maybe she was a character for frontiers#since leaks for it were describing a ghost/ai girl but that ended up being sage who is clearly a completely different character#and then i was like maybe shes a character from an upcoming idw sonic story.#but . that video is almost 2 years old now and no sign of her anywhere#new characters for idw sonic tend to get announced a little while before their official debut but not THIS far in advance#if shes from a game idk why they would tease only her and nothing else for it that far in advance unless it got delayed/cancelled#so now im considering the possibility that maybe that was an early design for ariem from sonic dream team ?#considering its just a mobile game i feel like that episode of tailstube was posted far enough in advance#for them to not have her design completely down yet#but aside from similar face and pose they look completely different theyre not even the same species. so im probably wrong there#or maybe they just drew up a random new character and put it in there just to fuck with us
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with tlr2 issue 3 dropping in a couple days, im curious what everyone thinks moja and uno's abilities will be
#im assuming moja will get her powers next and then uno will get his in issue 4...#to me i think moja might have super heightened senses? in issue 1 she commented on something 'smelling' wrong?#uno even called them heightened senses but i feel like it may go beyond that#im thinking girl has insane super vision and a nose like a cadaver dog and hypersensitive hearing#which she may or may not have already begun to experience during the lost day special when she wore her headphones while watching fireworks#ofc she could have still been listening to her music or she could have hearing sensitivity for other reasons#i just feel like they might be leading up to that? i need to go back and scrape the earlier issues for foreshadowing of odyn and yi's power#im really not sure what unos could be unless they are going to lean super hard into the dark mode camoflague he already has going on#maybe he can turn completely invisible? ultimate stealth ninja moment#idk but its interesting to think about. aaaaa can't wait for more of the babies i miss themmmmm#ofc if they continue the trend of physical powers moja with fire powers would be super cool too#i can picture her with flaming fists perfectly actually so i wont be disappointed either way#the last ronin#the last ronin 2#the last ronin 2 re-evolution
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So um. Happy 27th birthday to me tomorrow! I'm being sent to [University hospital] emergency room on Saturday as per my doctor's recommendation bc there's a high I have adrenal cancer!! Hopefully it hasn't metastisized and spread to my liver✌️ ^_^
But uh if I drop off the face of the earth it's because I'm hospital
#I'm being completely real here#it's not good#my hormone levels are basically if I was going through male puberty while being pregnant and addicted to steroids.#but tomorrow it does not exist to me. not the pain. not any of it#im not going to get ERed on my bday#unless i start vmting shtting or pssing blood#hopefully we are wrong and it is not cancer. but its not looking good fellas
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i need opinions on the barbie movie from the ppl who have seen it as i really want to love and understand this movie more but i can't
#byler#i found the movie extremely hypocritical with the patriarchy and then matriarchy all the barbies were pissed off about the fact that in the#real world men are put on a pedestal when in the barbie world women are put on a pedestal and seen better then the kens like how is that not#hypocritical??#UNLESS ONE OF THE LAST LINES 'the kens need to start somewhere' WAS ABOUT THE BARBIES REALIZEING GENDER EQUALITY AND IF THEY WAS WHAT THEY#WERE DOING THEN I THINK THEY SHOULDVE SHOWN A KEN OR MULTIPLE ON THE SUPREME COURT IN A TIME SKIP OR SOMETHING??#i get the some other messages of the movie but some of it was confusing af to me#also are we going to talk about the fact thats some ppl are calling ken dumb when he first just tried to get gender equality?? the barbies#werent listening to him which is why ken went all crazy#although i normally am good about understanding movies/tv shows there is a chance this just went all above my head and that i have compl#completely gotten this all wrong which is what im hoping for to be honest#i see everyone being so like oMg iTs sO gOoD and i really want to be able to see that but i am strugglingg#I MEAN NONETHELESS IT DEFINITELY MADE ME RETHINK MY OPINIONS AND LIFE DECISIONS AND THE DESIGN WAS AMAZING#it was also funny af#barbie spoilers#not byler related
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hot take but taking every hearsay or rumor or book in a fictional universe for fact is bad understanding of the world as the story presents it, actually
#li.txt#this is both about dishonored and elder scrolls#propaganda exists! artistic interpretation exists! lie exist! people make shit up!#you cant take anything literally unless youre seeing it for yourself imo#if someone is telling you a story about their life they might omit information or make themselves look better! thats how people work!#or if you hear idk some musicians singing in the streets about an ancient myth from 4k years ago maybe dont take it for fact#this is a direct callout to people shitting on born in the month of darkness#if anything they were trying to make the outsider sound like a pathetic wet cat in need of a warm blanket and food. a poor meow meow#unless stuff is confirmed by the characters themselves Im not gonna believe it fully#the books are also often just. not true. theyre scientific speculation Just Like Real Life#or full on propaganda. just like - you guessed it - real life!#the best example that I can think of is how theres two books on the war of betony island in daggerfall. political!! propaganda!!!#not to mention: people will deceive you on purpose! omit details or full on Lie in your face#like Im sure theres stuff we completely misunderstood cause the one thing we were told about it was by someone bullshitting#like with delilah talking about her tragic backstory. like dont get me wrong I 100% believe that it all happened#but also I doubt she was as pitiful and that the Very Quick Summary was all there is to it#I should probably specify that if youre down to believing absolutely everything when there isnt any other sources thats fine#esp if you want to believe it for the reasons of Oh This Is Cool#like people absolutely eating up the angsty backstory for the outsider (me included cause yes. angst.)#have fun with all that#this is mostly about all the people throwing a temper tantrum online about disliking something about canon#'why do the musicians know the backstory why cant they leave anything vague anymore:/' theyre artists melinda its their job ur doing the sam#unless this was confirmed by the outsider in the books idk I cant find those damn things#if something is Stated by a Character or Written in a Novel that is in the world theres always some doubt#like I genuinely doubt that the events of Young Prince of Tyvia happened the way they do in the books#so like yknow. if you hate stuff so much just. ignore the canon established by literal in-game fiction
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it's really annoying when I tell people I require direct, straightforward communication and ask them to say what they mean at all times, as well as take my words exactly as they are. usually people will agree and be ok with it for a bit. but they always seem to suddenly forget. they will start saying things and mean something else, or refuse to elaborate and explain. or they will suddenly start misinterpreting what I say and add meanings to my words that arent even there. it ALWAYS happens and I do not understand why
#lee rants#autistic#autism#actually autistic#autistic friendship#my past friend group all agreed. then they suddenly started acting weird. i tried to be as direct as i could#but then i was suddenly told im gaslighting without explanation by one person and completely misinterpreted by another#then they uninvited only me from the group trip without a legitimate explanation after promising i cam go for months#and i was actually the one tbat planned the trip so thats even worse. i STILL dont know why i was “gaslighting” or kicked out#another time that comes to mind. i shared a hotel with some girls for a concert. i thought i became friends with one#she was like the perfect friend i was looking for. i thought we got along great. after a few weeks of talking on twitter#i found she was “subtweeting” me bad things instead of saying them directly to me. her words didn't match her intentions#then blocked me without warning IF YOU HATE ME JUST SAY IT DONT MAKE ME WASTE MY TIME TRYING TO BE YOUR FRIEND YOU STALE HOTDOG WATER HUMAN#i still want to know what her issue was and why she acted that way and want to tell her shes a pathetic loser for being like that#i did nothing wrong. unless being nice and supportive and a friend is wrong lmao (its not. shes just very wrong and bad at being a person)#i hate that autistic brain CRAVES TO HAVE ANSWERS IT WILL NEVER GET
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