#utterly incomprehensible

[vintage-tigre]

[deutsche-bahn]

Ich klammere hier ja 99% der Zeit ganz erfolgreich aus dass ich trans bin, weil's meistens auch einfach nicht weiter relevant ist. Aber lasst mich mal kurz verbal meinen Kopf gegen die Wand schlagen:

Dadurch, dass ich die letzten acht Jahre einen, uh, turbulenten Lifestyle hatte und zwischenzeitlich zb wahllos durch Europa flatterte hatte ich nie die Möglichkeit, den bürokratischen Abfuck einer offiziellen Diagnose etc etc über mich ergehen zu lassen. Weil man dafür vielleicht mal für mehr als sechs Monate irgendwo sesshaft werden müsste.

Fine, ok, mein passing ist zwar so gut dass ich, seit ich 15 bin, erfolgreich ein Doppelleben führen kann (wie altmodisch von mir). Aber irgendwann wurde mir klar dass der Stresstremor und die allgemeinen Paranoia vielleicht, ganz vielleicht etwas mit dieser abgefuckten Catch Me If You Can Lebensrealität zu tun haben könnten. Also, nur vielleicht. Just a thought.

Also überlegte ich mir, das doch mal anzugehen als wär's ne Garage, die es zu entrümpeln gilt. Und dann folgten 11 Monate des puren Grauens. Nein, schlimmer. Es folgten 11 Monate tägliches Armdrücken mit der deutschen Bürokratie, und dem überlasteten Gesundheitssystem. Zwischen "Patienten wie Sie nehmen wir nicht" und "Warteliste haben wir, bitte melden Sie sich dafür im 4. Quartal 2025 wieder" war nur in Sachen Therapeutensuche alles dabei.

Ich landete letztendlich nach ein paar Monaten des in-der-Mittagspause-herumtelefonierens bei einem Ausbildungszentrum für Psychotherapeuten, die nach vier Monaten auf der Warteliste entschieden, dass ich ein schwieriger Patient sei, mich dann aber doch unterbringen konnten. Namentlich bei einer Therapeutin-to-be die erst nach fast zwei Monaten bei genauerer Recherche feststellte, dass sie doch noch gar nicht qualifiziert sei um mir ein Indikationsgutachten auszustellen. Schade, Johanna, ich hätte das halbe Jahr gerne anderweitig genutzt. Holy shit.

Das Ding ist, ich würde wirklich ungern dieses Doppelleben weiterführen, bei dem ich im Beruf noch mit falschem Namen etc herumlaufe und peinlichst mein Privatleben geheim halte. Ich würde mich genauso ungern bei jedem Bewerbungsgespräch erklären müssen, und dann in der weltverschlossensten, Arbeitnehmerrechte-fernen Welt des Handwerks auf's Beste hoffen. Johanna hat vollstes Verständnis. "Sie könnten ja vielleicht in verschiedenen Betrieben hospitieren gehen, und-" und schauen wo man mich nicht diskriminiert, mit blendendem Optimismus, als ob das nicht die erniedrigenste Lösung sei die dir einfallen könnte? Und sie nennt es "hospitieren", was ja noch nicht mal das realitätsfremdeste an der Aussage ist. Niedlich. Ich kratz' mir gleich die Augen aus.

Johanna sieht zwar selbst ein, dass sie kaum Ahnung von dem Thema hat ("Das ist ja alles etwas... dschungel-artig" sagte sie, nachdem sie sich nach der ersten Sitzung selber informiert hatte). Dafür schlägt sie mir vor, dass wir doch eine gemeinsame Lernerfahrung daraus machen könnten. Ich möchte ihr auf die Packung Taschentücher zwischen uns kotzen. Nachdem ich ihr erklärt habe dass ich gegenüber eines studierten Psychologen wirklich, wirklich ungern in einer aufklärenden Rolle sein möchte starrt sie mich ein bisschen hilflos an. Dann wüsste sie nicht, was ich noch von dieser Therapie erwarte.

Und ich möchte nicht wütend auf sie sein. Aber als ich ihr meine Ausgangssituation nach sechs Monaten verschwendeter Zeit erkläre schaut sie mich mit großen, verständnisvollen Augen an, professionell apathisch, als wäre sie stille Beobachterin eines ungerechten Systems, und nicht eines der gottverdammten Rädchen, welches sich in besagtem System fröhlich um sich selbst dreht. Egal.

Als ich mich nach unangenehmer Stille von ihr verabschiede fragt sie, ob ich wenigstens irgendwas positives aus diesen wenigen Sitzungen mitnehmen könnte. "Wenn's vorbei ist wird's bestimmt eine gute Geschichte" sage ich.

Warum ist es eigentlich einfacher, sich einen falschen Perso zu besorgen, anstatt einen gottverdammten Ergänzungsausweis mit Wunschname, der dann aber auch nur in Kombination mit dem eigentlichen Ausweis gültig und somit irgendwie eh für die Katz ist? Junge, es war einfacher durch den off-duty Sozialarbeiter meines Vertrauens an Testosteron zu kommen anstatt erst einen Psychologen, Psychiater und Endokrinologen zusammenzuscheuchen und zu überreden mich doch einfach eine Hormontherapie machen zu lassen. And this goes without saying, aber macht das nicht, das wäre ja vollkommen irre und so. Wer macht das schon

[missionel]

a small glimpse into my 𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓭 mind

[limnsaber]

“Luke and Din would compete for Grogu’s attention” NO. You know what they WOULD compete for. Increasingly insane nicknames

[valgue]

14 year old twitter gays continuously create new micro-identities the same way american churches will invent a new branch of protestantism because of le wokeism

[lateleviathan]

Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Movie: Walpurgisnacht Rising Trailer

[confirmedbachelorofmedicine]

fish

>-)))D

[cowvboyenema]

some of the shit yall say is flabbergasting, watching a tiktok go by where theyre talking about childhood posters on the wall and mention they jerked off to it

what the FUCK are you talking about

[feyd-rautha-apologist]

Wasn't that belligerently anti outside cats initially but now I'm getting radicalized by the frankly baffling anti-vasectomy stance outside cat advocates are taking

[system-prometheus]

kicks my feet i love my silly little playlist (it has too many songs) and my silly little music (they don't know that i listen to 563738272 different things at once)

-Leo 🔧

[jomnki]

obligatory insane ramblings of a madman who finished tgaa2

ryu and kazuma should've had more time to talk it out after the trial and i agree with that because i want to see them interact more. but also i want to say everything they needed to talk about did happen in that trial, just the slow unravelling of the truth and ryuu telling him to basically get out of the revenge pit. something about.. gay mind to mind communication. the realisation that kazuma is human and not this gallant figure ryuu had warped him into due to his "death" and accepting it and not letting it get in the way. kazuma being so proud and astounded by ryuu's growth in court. understanding. so much on ryuu's part. this conflict, like many, is solved eventually. <- possible coping. but ah. i did like that ending a lot. they are growing together on their own. they are forging their own paths totally confident that the other will always be on their mind. unconditional trust no matter what. they are not leaving eachother behind, they are holding hands across the ocean and going down different roads with hands still connected and never letting go. they are not the reason why the other has chosen their path, but they wouldn't be here without eachother. they will be sending letters about whatever they can think about. kazuma will make friends with people who isn't just ryu because he's kind of an ass but herlock and co. arw also kind of asses so it's ok. love wins.

[cookie-nom-nom]

oh no I found an apology for a butchered Taz quote in my fic and I was like ?? when was that?

And then I found the convo: “Such a shame they had a wife, I’d have loved to known them while they was still on that sigma male grind set."

"I know all languages and that was none of them??"

"I’m just saying when a girlboss leaves your life, those girlexits are not made girlequal.” 

😭

bro why--

[uncooked-glass]

Every now and then my friends will make posts about fandoms I'm not in and I get a glimpse of what it must be like listening to me talk about Third Life

Considering how a lot of da2 dialogue has gender variations, especially the romance specific dialogue, it’s crazy that the fenris dialogue about elves “breeding” isn’t gender locked.

Fenris life time member of the I’m Gonna Get That Man Pregnant club.

[rcgay]

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA | S17E02

[buzzingroyalty]

how to grub your karkat

or you can use this for any other plush or if you wanna make a whole new plush entirely or whatever

disclaimer im not a professional in any sense of the word and theres anything technical im doing wrong or you think you can do it better by all means dont hold back

Things you’ll need

sewing machine unless youre really dedicated but doing it by hand is gonna be an agonizing feat i promise. I just used a straight stitch for everything

Fabrics: for the main body i suggest a minky or something soft, for the inner lining something in the same color as the main body and ideally with some stretch, and anything black for the legs. Less than a yard of each will do

if youre using minky or anything furry get a lint roller. Trust me

stuffing, i used polyfil

threads that match your fabrics

good fabric scissors

sewing needle for hand sewing/fixes

karkat plush (optional)

Heres the pattern i came up with! They are numbered for your convenience and pieces with the same numbers are going to be part of the same row of segments. cut everything out on the black lines (Make sure when you’re printing to fit the image to the page size.) on the left we have the belly pieces, the right is the main body, and we have the foot in between

Im using a relatively thin minky fabric, im sure you can use whatever but something with some fluffiness kinda helps to mask any imperfections in the sewing. When drawing out your patterns keep in mind what direction your fibers settle in and try to keep it consistent

On the wrong side of the fabric measure out at least a half inch seam allowance around each piece of the pattern, i used a centimeter and that worked but had me sweatin a bit.

For the main body pieces fold your fabric in half before you cut so you can have 2 of each segment that are mirrored to each other, i also extended all of the #1 pieces an additional centimeter/half inch at the top so we can fold them over at the very end. I highly suggest numbering the insides of all the cut pieces, especially in a way where you will remember what direction they are each meant to sit

After you’ve numbered all your pieces, set them aside and start making your feet!

Each of the 6 legs is made of two pieces, but i because i only had a swatch of the black minky i made up for the rest with some random black scrap fabric from an old project. Try to keep your fabric consistent if you can lol

I didnt give these pieces any more seam allowance on the fabric but i recommend adding a centimeter or half inch to the base of it to extend the length and have some more wiggle room

like so

Instead of cutting out 12 individual pieces and struggling to stitch them all together i started with 6, then pinning each piece real tight with the right/furry side down onto my secondary fabric, and slowly stitching around the shape real close to the edges- DO NOT CLOSE THE FLAT SIDE as we are going to stuff the feet through here

Now cut the shape out of the fabric and repeat till you have 6 feet

Now flip those bad boys inside out, stuff up, and if you wanna you can match them to their best pairs

now grab a pair of feeties and your #1 pieces and line them up, in this picture my belly #1 piece is shorter bc i forgot to add the extra centimeter and i recut that once i realized. Line those sides up with the right/furry parts touching and with the feet in between, flip it around to make sure everything's sitting the way you want it

Note. i didnt realize until later but i sewed my feet in upside down. save yourself the time it takes to fix it and dont make the same mistake

Straight stitch these layers together and repeat with the next two segments our good friends #2 & #3

Repeat this for the #2 and #3 sections but NOT THE #4, that part doesnt need feet! just line those edges up right/furry sides together and sew

the secret to the squish of the suit is making this inner lining from another fabric and stuffing it! I used what i had leftover from a stretchy red fabric for a kanaya skirt. For this we need to make a new pattern for each section, making sure it follows the curve of the round edge but the piece itself is shorter, almost like youre removing the seam allowance you added. Mine is a centimeter shorter on the top and on the bottom and reaches to the middle

Make one of these for each numbered segment,you only need to make half the pattern and you can fold your fabric in half on a crease and you end up with one symmetrical piece (bars)

Now you need to pin these pieces right on top of the wrong side of your numbered furry sections and line up the straight edges like so (disclaimer for LOTS OF SCARY NEEDLES !!)

Admittedly i didnt estimate how long these pieces needed to be very accurately and overshot it a bit, if you start pinning it from the middle and continue outwards on either side thatll ensure its not too lose and you can cut off any excess after

The only exception is piece #1, if you recall we gave this #1 section extra seam allowance. This is so we can sew down that excess at the neck later and hide any of the inside that might show once its all put together. Do not connect the top edge to the inner lining! Since i added an extra centimeter earlier im gonna leave that hanging and pin + sew down the inner lining a centimeter lower than the top edge. LEAVE THE CURVED EDGES OPEN! DONT SEW THEM TOGETHER! those stay open to stuff

Straight stitch the lined up edges together

Now you have all these skinned pieces of little freak and we need to connect all these segments together making sure to sew UNDER the existing stitches so we dont see those on the outside when its all put together

Inside looks like a bit of a mess but thats fine bc its not the part that matters

Now stuff it! you might need a stick or pencil or something long and thin to get stuffing into the middle bits

Now thats its stuffed you can finally close those curved edges. Try not to sew over a thick mound of stuffing, push it in a little further to give yourself some space and you can fluff it back out after everythings closed. I cut off that excess lining fabric after sewing

Ough… they filleted my boy…

Finally, match up all the edges and lines and HAND SEW them right sides together. You will destroy your machine trying to work around that stuffing i promise. You also have an excuse to get up from your work desk and sew on a couch or smth. I used a standard backstitch for a tight finish and again, make sure you sew under any existing stitches so they arent visible on the outside!

Speaking of the outside, once you stitch everything together you can very gently flip this sucker inside out

This is @hatamonu’s cat Cocaina, aka Coco. Her perfectly square figure made it into my grub files somehow so shes essential to the tutorial

Check the fit and all thats left to do is roughly baste stitch down that excess neck fabric onto the stuffed lining and youre set! I gave the thread slight tugs as i went to tighten the opening a bit put dont tighten it too much

tadaaaaa

It fits pretty snug but starts to slip a bit with motion. Heres a bounce test

 If you do shake your baby make sure to safety pin the plush to the suit so he doesnt prematurely shed his exosekeleton

Now spread that baby fever and show your baby to the world

pics from the ALA 2025 homestuck meetup and supplied by para.dox.cos

Tysm for coming along this ride with me especially if you followed the prototype journey on twitter, much thanks to my more sewing savvy friend for the solution to my grub dilemma and for helping me design and build my dolorosa cosplay <3 much love and hopefully many more homestuck cosplays and meetups to come in the future!

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

pony once swallowed a cig butt to keep darry from findin out he'd been smokin when he wasnt meant to be. however. he immediately got himself so worked up thinkin he was gonna choke n die from it he ended up tearfully confessin to darry anyhow. darry valently managed not to laugh in his face.