#we are making stuff for uni students. i am not going to understand uni level math

[yellow-yarrow]

I work as a graphic designer. They gave me images to redraw for physics school textbooks. Okay cool. We start working on math textbooks. The guy writing the lessons(a teacher) gives us hand drawn images with errors and sometimes just writes 'now the same vectors and points but with different numbers. You just have to calculate it" I AM A GRAPHIC DESIGNER NOT A STUDENT

[stuft]

school blah

it will be a miracle if I don't get sick while I'm here. Maybe I already picked something up, idk but I am trying to ward it off while I can. If Tazakstan doesn't stop coughing near me I may kick him in the shins.

I thought, ah this is a small town, not only are there not many people in this building but we are away from the main part of the city so it's not crowded at all, but it seems like everyone is hacking up a lung and can't bother to cover their mouths at all. Like Covid never happened. Like flu isn't a thing. I thought well I could get away with not masking but clearly I am rethinking that. I don't want to do it here at school but I will when I leave to do some shopping, like today.

There was an afterschool excursion I was going to go on that was leaving at 3, so I went outside with the ppl who were out there waiting, a bunch were smoking, and it was 10 past 3, I had no idea when we'd be leaving--it was just supposed to be going to the Uni to look at students' art and then I think getting a coffee and going into town to the harbor or something, all of which sounded good--but I got tired of waiting, not knowing what was happening, and then it hit me that I was actually tired tired and did not feel up to a couple hours of walking around and being in a group of college kids.

I don't want to have the attitude of "anti-participation w/college kids" because like what are my alternatives and I have nothing against anyone whether I feel like a sore thumb or what, but my tolerance to anything these days is limited. It's my first day and I have done okay. I have homework to do and I'm still settling in.

It's good though that I have a schedule to keep and am somewhat confined here so there are fewer distractions. I want to keep my internetting to a minimum but I may have to ease into it.

Anyway I did buy a few things at 2 supermarkets.

and the cook told me this morning that last night at dinner they had gluten free pasta for me. Welp. How was I to know that. Sorry. It had shrimp in it anyway ew. He's very nice though and pointed out all the GF stuff for me at breakfast and dinner. The signs are handwritten, barely legible and it's hard to see that they are gluten-free. At lunch today they had like meatballs & brown gravy, the ones on the left were GF the ones on the R were not, and I guess no one else knows that there are GF choices and almost everyone for some reason was getting the ones on the left instead of the regular ones. Which is fine as long as it doesn't run out before I get some. Today I happened to be among the first in line.

I also understood that we'd have drinks available to us, like I'd asked about a kettle in the room bc I may want tea and was told oh you can always get hot water from the canteen. Really? bc the doors are locked after each meal. So, whatever. It's not that big of a deal. I have about 30,000 teabags with me, I guess I will just get in the habit of bringing one with me at breakfast & lunch (when the coffee machine is on) and making tea on my way out or something, bc I usually have time left before class.

But classes were fine. I like the teacher, it's nice having a small class and me and VA are close to the same level. Tazakstan idk. He seems to think he knows a lot but my teacher can't understand half of what he's saying and when she does he's often wrong, he had to make a phone call at the beginning of a class, and she'd have to ask him to put the phone away, and he'd be going ahead on the worksheet filling it in and not paying attention to what we were discussing, because we often will go on tangents, sometimes just personal stuff because they we are learning and trying to communicate something that you want to contribute to the conversation is learning. So he's a little off kilter but he's nice enough.

I learn languages best though like in high school when I get pelted with repetition of vocabulary and pronunciation but I guess my ability is past that for here so it's just king of diving right in to dative and accusative and all this shit. And because it's all in German, I do suppose that is better. In high school my teacher taught in English, some of the other language teachers did more the immersive style with less English. But it still feels kind of less structured, idk. But she gave us a book so at least I can look that over and I will be googling lots of words, I should probably start my own vocab sheet.

And of course there's my Duolingo!

Okay brain dump over, my head was feeling a bit overloaded with German today at times but it wasn't so bad. And having another English speaker in class helps bc what if it was like Kazakstan and China? NOT that Virginia and I speak English much in class (verboten mostly) but a word here and there to clarify a meaning. And I already feel like an outsider as an elderly person.

[kyaruun]

Hiiiiii nyaaaaaaaa I was wondering if you knew like uh if I wanna do computer programming I'd apply for compsci??? Though they're different I see lots of schools have compsci but there are No Schools with computer programming so I was wondering if. You know if they lump them together a lot of times

<- looking at schools,,,

disclaimer: i am spanish and we have a completely different educational system than the US but i hope my experience might serve a bit! also forgive me for (probably) using the wrong terms for everything </3

i assume with computer programming you mean only programming. coding. idk how things are over there but as far as i know STEM students usually get some programming done at a basic level in their first year(s) but if you want to learn programming in a more "professional" sense you need to do computer science. welp my degree is called computer engineering but i think it's the same? similar? i hope it is

i don't think there is a programming only school because it's one of many skills you're supposed to get in the field. everyone can program. i promise there are a lot of tutorials online that do a much better work at teaching programming than many uni classes!! i know math students that have taken like 2.5 subjects on programming and do things A LOT better than half of my classmates

the thing with computer science is you need a lot more skills that just coding. maths, for starters (which i suck at lol) if you wanna understand algorithms or do anything in the AI or machine learning field. it really depends on what you'd like to do afterwards because most of the time you will end up coding some way or another. but it's sprinkled with some more stuff in between ^^

like yeah 99% of the time people associate cs with coding and just coding and as the local 4th year computer engineering student i can definitely say coding isn't everything. the first years are more code heavy because you needed to get used to the basics. but then there is documentation (class diagrams, use cases, etc.), there's everything related to requirements gathering (user stories, interviews, a bazillion documents where you need to find out what a client might want for their app), ui/ux design, project management (which is an area you might enjoy!! pretty much organazing a team and making sure everything is up to date and everyone is working) and a loooot more stuff. i can only talk from my own experience as a student focusing on software development

tldr: if you're only interested in programming mayyybe you should read into those compsci schools, see what they're offering and think if that's something you like! if you like coding enough to make an actual job out of it you might want to a) do computer science or something like that or b) learn on your own but in a deeper level. by this i mean there are many tutorials online that only go through the very basics and there are some really interesting/useful topics they don't cover or might be needed for professional work

[mc-doppomine]

Dunno why this came to mind...maybe calculating Jakurai’s deal here...Who knows but here I am imagining how much schooling these boys have gone through. 

As a note, I am not saying their schooling level as any jab to them. All people are different. Some would prefer going to school, some do not have the opportunity and some have other things to do. It really is many reasons why they would or wouldn’t go on. And I’m just guessing what I think they’ve done based off information we have of them. 

Buster Bros!!!

Ichiro I feel only completed compulsory school and some of high school. He was too busy supporting the orphanage and his brothers to really keep up with it. And considering Yorozuya Yamada is likely their only source of income, he hasn’t really gone back either. I don’t that particularly bothers Ichiro since while he wasn’t bad at school he wouldn’t say he liked it either. 

Jiro is at the age where he didn’t have to go to school anymore but Ichiro made him stay. As it was just better options for Jiro if he does finish school. He also doesn’t go to cram school as 1) he can’t stand school as is, 2) he likely goes to help Ichiro with the business and 3) there’s a chance they can’t afford to send him. Despite the latest drama tracks, I don’t see school being a point of contention between them even if Jiro doesn’t like school. I don’t see him pursuing a traditional higher education, if he even goes at all.

Saburo is still in compulsory school as far as I understand so it’s not really a question of if he goes. But obviously Ichiro would want him to stay. Especially him because he’s good at it and seems to like it. That and it might help Saburo’s social skills to have to be around kids his age. For the most of the same reasons, Saburo doesn’t do cram school either. If anything he probably could tutor if he didn’t get so easily frustrated with people. I do feel he could make it to the top schools when he gets older but I see an interest in going overseas for uni.

Mad Trigger Crew

Samatoki I don’t think went past compulsory schooling. He was too busy with yakuza stuff to really deal with school. I see him getting into a lot of fights over his background, namely badmouthing of his parents. He probably had Nemu stay though because he wanted her to have options. I think he’s really good with money even though he probably hasn’t had to worry about it for a long time

Jyuto I initially was gonna say did go to college but researching a little bit, he probably didn’t. He only would need to finish high school and pass exams. Which I feel he was prepared for. Like I think he’s been set on being a cop for a long time and worked for that. Which is why I’ll also go out on a limb and say that in high school this boy was a runner so he was also in shape for his training when he passed exams. I also think Jyuto was a good boy student.

Rio likely went into military service as soon as he could, which I believe is 18 over there. It’s a little harder to tell about how the service was since the world of hypmic is one that had another war, so it’s likely his time was busier than what it would be normally for someone in the navy. He absolutely could’ve gone to uni and come back to get a better rank but I don’t think Rio really cared about that aspect of it. (This man knows communications and some hacking, you cannot tell me he couldn’t have gone far) I will say he likely took advantage of his half-American status and is fluent in English as it would’ve been useful for joint exercises with the states. I think the dissolution of the navy really shot him in the foot but he’s just too resourceful to keep down with that.  

Fling Posse

Ramuda...obviously didn’t. And I don’t think his records would show anything. Like if it had to show anything, it would probably show him going to a super large school where it’s completely possible no one knows who the hell he was (because he was never there). And if he was based off someone, he likely had some of his credentials taken from them. He understand the culture of schooling though, I mean his style and personality does seem to draw girls high school age and older. 

Gentaro is pretty hard to imagine to be honest. I don’t see him enjoying his school life and being around classmates for an extended amount of time. And while I think he could’ve spent some time in academia in literary research, I also see him finding it way too stuffy for writing. But I think ultimately...he went to uni for a short time. For some reason I just don’t see him vibing with how the system is for it. 

Dice did not. I don’t think he finished high school although he could’ve if he wanted. But he probably avoids it because it’d be an easier way to keep track of him and run contrary to his stray sort of life style. 

Matenrou

Jakurai...is a doctor...I sure HOPE he went to school for his profession. So he studied some of the stuff you need for doctoring during his time as an assassin but he didn’t actually go into studying to be a doctor until he quit his killing at 23. He probably went into the national defense medical college, which seems to be 6 year program but you have an extra 2-3 years of compulsory service with it. I think he likely finished his compulsory service, at the latest, a year before the Dirty Dawg timeline. Or OR he faked his schooling and just knew the equivalent knowledge from his time as an assassin and was able to pass his exams and later studied whatever he lacked. He’s basically fully legally certified NOW, don’t worry...

Hifumi I just can’t see going past high school. Like I’ve always seen the incident happening in his last year of high school and it made it difficult for him to even finish. And considering he claimed in the first Matenrou drama track that he didn’t find a way to live with his phobia until he was 20...I don’t think he went. Not that he would’ve been interested in it. Hifumi is interested in what he likes and wouldn’t want to put the effort either way. I don’t think he really cares and he has more than enough skills (and money) to do just about whatever he wants.

Doppo likely went to uni. He couldn’t get into the real prestigious schools and knew he couldn’t so just went for wherever he could get into rather than wait to test again. I feel like his degree is in either accounting or business. I think he had a part-time while in school to pay for it since it seems like his family might not be as well off or he didn’t want to burden his parents (in a passing conversation I think he mentioned paying for his brother’s exams or schooling). For some reason I also can see him having a minor in biology because I see him either knowing a lot about plants or knowing a lot about marine life. What kind of person just thinking of a water flea for like a small creature?

Dotsuitare Hompo

Sasara I feel like he didn’t go past high school. Not that he couldn’t. Just that he didn’t find a need to? Not when he was set on going into comedy. Like it was either make it or be trapped with his family. And he was hard noooope. 

Rosho....is a teacher? I sure HOPE he went for his teaching certificate. I don’t think he was going to initially and might not have while he was doing the comedy game with Sasara? Their time line is a little fuzzy, I haven’t found the indicator of if Rosho and Sasara disbanded before he went to MCD or after. If it was before, then yes he went to school after they disbanded. If not, then he was in school while doing the manzai thing. So yeah dual major of mathematics (or statistics) and education (he didn’t need both but I have faith in him).

Rei most definitely went to fucking uni. This bastard would let you think he didn’t but he did. He’s probably a fucking doctor or just shy of it. Drives me mad. Why am I sure? Because if Rei is behind the hypnosis mics. As in the designer and/or inventor of it, he is a scientist or engineer of some type. I see him having a degree in either biotechnology or neuroscience. I learn towards the latter because I feel like he also got a minor in psychology (or y’know what, business is possible too for a minor). Just to mess with people.

Bad Ass Temple

Kuko I feel was the same as Ichiro in that he went to high school but not necessarily finishing it. I don’t believe he would’ve had to...if anything he’s gone back to his teachings at his temple. Yet it seems he doesn’t do that either so I’m not sure. I just don’t think he did anything past high school. 

Jyushi I think he might’ve just finished high school? I don’t know if he was just finishing or he’s soon to be doing exams. But I think he’s going to finish regardless. Y’know I feel like Jyushi would’ve liked going to uni. I can’t think of what he’d go to school for though! Would it be adding too much work to a passion if he did something with music theory? 

Hitoya...is a lawyer? So yeah? And you have to wonder if Hitoya is a masochist or loves to learn or what have you. Because he was in medical school WITH Jakurai. And then when they part ways, he quits and then goes into LAW. Are you kidding me? Hitoya, Hitoya please...I looked it up, he HAS to be a masochist! Law in Japan is super hard to get into! It has one of the most difficult bar exams to exist! What are you doing, man??? Although...I think Hitoya is still fairly new as a lawyer though because him starting when I assume Jakurai started school at 23, would have him only being fully practicing for 5 years. And that’s assuming he dropped out the first year and not later...which would only shrink he years outside. Unless whatever he got for his bachelors was applicable for law too (behavioral science?)...either way, yes he’s done it and he sure does do a lot to beat a guy that doesn’t even know they’re competing. 

[i-see-you-now-you-see-me]

Loving us Both or, Another level of Crazy 

(oneshot, but depends of the future) Part of the DYVLONY series, can be read seperately

Pairing : villain Hendery (Wayv) x Reader

Word count: approx 4k

About: I tell you now, important part of this story is- Hendery has two personalities, but it comes up in the story, not to confuse you, here they are:

Hendery (Huang Guanhang)- boss

Guanhee- Huang Guanhee- who deals with all filthy stuff, boss/ to everyone they are brother and sister

Warnings: Mentions of blood and gore, a bit of descriptive character death, sex, filthy smut, Guanhee is a dirty bitch, sex, sex, and some more...

filth under the cut

*Earth, the third Planet from the Sun, 149.6 million kilometers away*

-I keep telling you that someone took her, I am sure of it! – Nurse Nana, your friend whom you hade become great friends, answered.

-Miss, there is no proof of that, you cannot just announce things like this on the internet, it is classed as a felony, - the police officer was not having it, it was the third family member this week, who were saying the exact same thing, “we were on a night out, and she never came back” sort of thing. And the best was, all of the missing persons went to the same club.

Yet police didn’t want to spend their money on this. There were far more important things for them to be dealing with at this hour.

-Alright miss, we will make a file and let you know as soon as something will come up, - he announced.

-Thank you, - nurse Nana thanked the police and left.

While studying at UNI you had a big exam coming up, to help you in the process you had applied to help at the local hospital, trainee psychologist assistant, and a Doctor Vera McGregorky welcomed you into all her conversations with her patients, who didn’t mind you, a student to be there and listen. You had signed the documents for confidential information, and not a single word had escaped your mouth in talks of other patients.

You had met Nana when you arrived, she was the one to greet you and lead you to the doctors’ office, she was nice, and you became friends.

Once your exam had passed, she had invited you for a glass of beer on a night out, (you rarely drank beer, but sometimes you enjoyed it), so you agreed. Somehow during the night, you were left alone, because Nana smoked, and she used to say, “I don’t want your lungs to get polluted because of me, you know that statistics have proven, that a non - smoker standing next to a smoker is at higher risk of lung pollution than the actual smoker,” and she would add with a grin, “that’s the trufff”.

And now, she was there. Walking down the street where the club was.

-Where are you, Y/N, what happened to you, - when she returned from smoking, you were nowhere to be found, she searched everywhere in the club where she could. Not a single glimpse from you was there.

Ever since that day, she has been trying to file a missing persons case, even posted on the internet about it, receiving a few reposts and likes, until she was called to police office. If they would have been a bit more interested in that, eh?

Nana sighed.

-Assholes, - she whispered as she walked of.

* Planet DYVLONY, 10043567901;1102033149001*

-I hate that bitch, - one of the henchmen spoke.

-I know, last time when she slapped you, I remember the look on your face, - he sighed, - why can’t it be her brother this time.

-I know, right? Sometimes she really gets on my nerves.

They both walked through a warehouse that belonged to the Infamous Twins of DYVLONY, and today was one of those days where, instead of himself – Hendery, their boss, more liked preferred boss, they had to work together with his twin sister Huang Guanhee, who, if/when in a bad mood, tended to treat people like shit.

-Didn’t I tell you, that I don’t want to see your ugly ass looking faces today? Huh? Was I not clear? – Huang Guanhee sat on a chair, while behind her, tied to a post was a naked woman, barely breathing, beaten to a pulp.

-Sorry to disturb you, ma’am, but Mr. Tieger wants to see you, or your brother, he is outside, - Guanhee sighed, she hated that bastard, he owed them a lot of money, and he was trying to barter all sorts of shit on a regular basis.

-Ah, - she groaned, - bring him in, - Guanhee agreed.

Both henchmen walked out, grabbed Mr. Tieger by his collar, and really brought him in on his knees, where he stayed. Looking up, seeing Guanhee sitting on the chair, he bit his cheek. She was not the person he wanted to see there.

-Why are you here? I am busy, - she said and crossed her legs.

-I, - his mouth felt dry there for a moment, there was something not right about this woman, - I have been selected to take care of… the aliens that had crashed.

Guanhee arched a brow.

-So? – she asked.

-I have no need of an alien in my home, and I thought… - she didn’t let him finish a sentence.

-You thought? – she abruptly stood up, - exactly what, huh? You come here an offer some alien? What’s in it for me, eh?

She walked closer and smacked Mr. Tieger in the face, so hard, he fell backwards. She groaned and straightened herself up. Guenhee looked at her poor, tied girl in the back, licking her lips, taking a stick from the floor, she walked over to the girl and beat her sides and legs, the girl only jerked around with no sound, tears flowing down her face, she had no voice anymore.

-This is what happens when you don’t pay back the money, and as much as I love a pink pussy to feast on, you don’t have one, so get the fuck out of these premises, and in ten days bring us back money, or else, I will leave you dick- less bleeding in the street, do you understand?

Never have you ever seen a man run as fast as Mr. Tieger did in that moment.

-This bitch is crazy, - he said to himself, as he got in his car and drove off.

Later in the room, on the top floor of the warehouse, Guanhee was undressing. Her stockings were rolled off, her skirt neatly folded on the bed, her white blouse folded on top of that, her hair, a brown (ish) wig, left on the side, before being put away on a mannequin. Fake eyelashes taken off, together with her make up, fake boobs off, and his penis freed from the tight panties.

-It’s your turn now, - she said and looked in the mirror. As soon as those words left her mouth, Hendery appeared, straightened himself up, hearing a knock on the door.

-Boss, it’s me, can I come in? – Hendery walked over and opened the door. His right- hand man was there. Dante was the only person on DYVLONY who knew the ugly truth.

Hendery and Guanhee were the same person.

*

You sat in the waiting room, a bit nervous, of course. Passing an exam had felt easier than this. Palms sweaty, one of your legs kept shaking.

-Nothing to worry about, - you assured yourself, - it’s going to be just fine.

Mr. Tieger was signing papers, ready to greet you, and then sell you off. He knew today he would see Hendery, not his sister, he was sure of it, he will definitely be ready to bargain. Once Hendery see’s how you look like, Mr. Tieger might be in for a good money.

-Hello, miss Y/N, I am Mr. William Tieger, - he shook your hand, - shall we go now?

You nodded. He looked like a “decent” man. Mr. Tieger made sure you walked first, he checked out how you looked like from behind, all the curves in the right places, he will def be swimming in gold after tonight.

-Let’s make a d-tour, - he said, helping you in his car, and soon he had stopped in front of what looked like a very posh atelier. Walking in, he was greeted with two DYVLONY ladies.

-Hello ser, how can be of assistance today, - they said in unison.

-I need to dress her, - he leaned in, while you weren’t listening, - the sexier the better.

Both girls nodded. This was the most popular atelier for a lot of reasons, and the girls were ready for their task. Taking your measures, they went to work on your clothing straight away. Soon, you were wearing embroidered bralette, with matching pantie set, and attached stockings, down your legs. And for whatever reason, your last piece of clothing, a really flimsy looking dress was put on, you looked cheap.

-What is this? – you asked, - I am not wearing it! – you protested.

-You, - Mr. Tieger spoke, - my darling, won’t have a choice.

With that your world went black. One of the assistants had knocked you out, wearing a big smile on her face, even while tying you up. Mr. Tieger paid in cash, threw you over his shoulder, and left. Putting you in the booth of his car, for no one to see. He smiled to himself adding the last piece – a mouth cloth.

-Let’s make Hendery happy, - smacking your thigh with his hand, he closed the booth and drove off.

The warehouse looked as dead as ever. Henchmen stood in the front, guarding the twins, as Mr. Tieger pulled up. Stepping out, he gave the man a sheepish grin.

-I am here to speak with Hendery, I have something to offer, - this time, henchmen didn’t say anything, just opened the door to let him in. Mr. Tieger took you out from the back, and again, put you over his shoulder, bringing you in. Slowly walking closer, he noticed that the chair was turned around.

-Huang Guanheng, - he greeted, - good to see you here.

There was no response on the other side.

-I am here to bargain a little something, you might find of value, - he smiled, putting you down on the cold floor. He didn’t notice how “Hendery” crossed his legs, and his arms over his chest. – this is the alien; I think she might be to your liking.

The doors of the warehouse were now locked, no one could get in, and no one could get out. Somehow, you found yourself waking up, no sounds leaving your mouth, but a short breath. Startled by a strong grip on your jaw, your eyes stayed shut.

-What do you think? – Mr. Tieger’s smug face was back at it. The chair turned around and he gasped. – what the fuck?! – he shouted.

Looking back at him was Guanhee, wearing her best smile, she even winked towards him.

-I thought I warned you once, - she said, still sitting down.

-Where is Hendery, Guanhee? – Mr. Tieger asked.

-I don’t have to answer you, but if you must know, I take that as your dying wish. You really are something, - Guanhee said, - but no worries, soon I will gut you like a fish, and make sure everyone is watching.

-What??? – Mr. Tieger was angry, he came towards her in big striking steps. Once close enough, he was ready to grab Guanhee by her hair, and before he could react a knife was plunged in his lower abdomen.

-I did promise you, didn’t I? – she giggled as a crazy person, the knife was now used to cut Mr. Tieger open, knife stopping at his ribs, while blood gushed out of him. His knees hit the floor, and you opened your eyes. Startled to see what was going on, you had to get away. Easier said than done, with your arms tied behind your back, and your legs tied as well, the only movement you could do, is somewhat like a worm, inch by inch moving away, trying not to pay attention to someone dying in the background.

Guanhee watched as Mr. Tieger bled on the floor, her own clothing was dirtied by now, but she didn’t bother. Looking over she saw you trying to crawl away, and she smiled.

-Hey, - she shouted, and you stopped not knowing why you stopped. – I will give you ten second head start, say thank you Guanhee, - she clapped her hands.

Your eyes were bulging out of your scull now, ten seconds? No chance you’ll get anywhere, a sudden thought was in the back of your mind. “I will die now”, tears started streaming down your face as you kept on trying to move away.

-Ten, - Guanhee announced as she stepped closer, starting the count down. – Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.

You heard her right by you when she said “one”, her hand grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling your upper body upwards, making you even more uncomfortable. The bloody knife in front of your face, you started pleading for your life, even with your mouth filled with cloth, that was tied behind your head. You must have sounded terrible… because Guanhee let go of your hair. You landed on your face, hitting your forehead in the process.

-Give her a shower, - Guanhee mentioned with her hands, - then tie her up like normal.

-Yes ma’am, - henchman nodded.

Dragging you away for the “shower”, which in reality meant, ice cold water on your body, getting you rid of the clothes you wore. Cold and worn out from the cold shower blast, you didn’t struggle when your naked body was tied up by the wooden post. The only thing you could see was a chair, which was unoccupied for now.

Guanhee washed up, changed her clothes, looking in the mirror, she smiled to herself, putting on her glasses, she walked through the room and down the stairs.

She saw your naked form from the second floor and rubbed her palms together. Sitting on the chair, she watched you closely. You didn’t struggle, your mouth had tape over it, the only thing you did, you were weeping, trying to do it quietly.

Listen. You had seen crazy, while working at the hospital, there had been patients that had to be in the mental asylum, you had read too much about serial killers, how they disliked people crying, or, how it edged them on. So, you tried to calm yourself.

Guanhee stood up and walked closer.

-You do have a pretty face, though, - she started, taking your jaw in her hand, - I must say, Mr. Tieger was right, you could be of use, - she gave you a smile. Her hand let go of your face and then she grabbed your nipple. Pinching it, twisting it with her fingers. You didn’t know what to do, how to react, your body betrayed you well, heat pooling in your lower areas, the same as the hotness travelling to your face.

Then her lips enveloped the other nipple, she went full licking and sucking on your breast, and soon her hand was not only pinching the nipple but massaging the whole breast.

“Fuck no,” you thought to yourself, trying to get your body to cooperate with your mind, but it wouldn’t budge.

Then she swapped it over, her lips on the other of your breast peaks and the other twisting your other nipple. Her hot mouth was providing you with saliva, that you felt sliding down your torso, to your stomach.

-Guess my favorite color, - she spoke looking at you. You didn’t know what to say, and you couldn’t anyways, but still. Without a warning her hand was in between your legs, grabbing on the soft skin of your inner thighs.

Your breath hitched in your throat.

What was she doing?

-I will tell you, - she said as she got on her knees, you saw henchman approaching. Your legs got untied, and the henchmen were holding you up. Shame of nakedness like this was seen on your face. You were now legs apart, pussy on display, a single drop of your nectar gathered on your pussy lips. You looked everywhere else, but not down. Guanhee smacked your thigh to get your attention, it went to a shade of red after the second smack. – I love pink, - she announced while biting her lip.

Your heart was in your throat now, beating so fast, you weren’t ready for what Guanhee had in mind. Her tongue prodded pass her lips, and the tip of it touched your mound. She then gave you a test lick between your folds, swallowing your juices, slowly moving her tongue up and down until she reached your tight hole. She smiled. You saw her smile before she took of her glasses and her tongue went back to its job.

Her tongue dived in your tight hole, in and out, a little faster then and a little slower after, tears were threatening to fall down your face again. Not only a woman was going down on you, but it was also giving you a spark of pleasure. She sat back on her knees, bringing a hand to her face, licking a finger, before the same finger entered you, you shut your eyes.

She was exploring your vaginal walls, finding a soft spot, that made your legs quiver a bit, she continued to press on it more, and then her mouth attacked your clitoris. She sucked and licked, and she finger – fucked you, till you orgasmed, screaming through the tape, your legs shaking from pleasure. Intense waves of hot electric feeling went through all of you, goosebumps rising on your skin.

Guanhee stepped back, her face was covered in your cum, she licked her lips, wiping some of your cum on her hand so she could lick it off. She stood up.

-What a good girl, - she said, - coming on my face like that, hmm, I might just keep you.

With that she walked away. Soon your legs were down on the floor again, tied back up. Then the tape was pulled off, and you were given water by one of the henchmen. Chugging it down like it was your last meal, not knowing what’s going to happen after.

And for some reason, you drifted to sleep soon after that.

When you woke up, the sun was peeking through the windows. Once your eyes adjusted, your face turned straight to the chair. There was a figure sitting there. Looking at you was a man. Who looked just like the lady… Guanhee was her name, right? Uhm, what?

-Good morning, - he greeted, you nodded. If you were alive, it really was a good morning. – I am Hendery, you must have heard about me?

You nodded “no”.

-I see, - he laughed a bit, - you really are not from here, are you?

The more you looked at him, the more it seemed like you were tripping. Somewhere in your mind was a doubt. Alright, you have heard of identical twins, and all that, but so much common in looks on twins, it was a rare sight. And the doubt in your mind was saying, that something was not right.

-You look tired, - he said, - rough night?

You rolled your eyes at the comment. Hendery stood up and walked over.

-How about I untie you, give you some clothing and some soup? It can stay our secret, - he said, and you nodded. Soon after you were clothed and fed, and very thankful.

The next couple of days, you were allowed to move around in the warehouse and a bit outside at the back, mainly just sitting down at a wooden table with one of the henchmen to accompany you. You were thinking. The more you thought of a possibility that could be true, the more you started to agree that it really could be true.

Psychology had taught you well. Seeing the signs of un-healthy mind was easy for you to spot, those couple of months helping Doctor Vera, were paying off.

The next day, while outside eating breakfast, you were greeted by Guanhee.

-I thought I might see you here, - she said startling you, -my brother has treated you well, - she bit her cheek.

-At least he’s nice, - it came out harsher than expected. Guanhee grabbed your hair to turn your face to her, and smacked your cheek, left one first and then your other one. Then she pulled you up only to kick your legs, so you fell on your knees. She didn’t let go of your hair.

-Ah, - she said, - is this how we are going to play? Shall I tie you to the post again? – her eyes were filled with anger as she spat the words out, - starve you until you are nothing but a pile of bones for the wild wolves?

-No wonder everyone hates you, - you hit her weak spot with your sentence.

The cold shower was blasting at you again, you fell down, this time Guanhee was doing it herself, and to your surprise, she was stronger than she looked. Dragging you by your hair, this time she tied you, while you were on your knees. You ended up- legs wide opened, ass in the air, while your breasts were pressed at the wooden post.

She disappeared.

You didn’t even hear or see where she went, but you were left all by yourself, your eyes closing for a brief moment.

-My sister left you for me as a gift, - a voice spoke, waking you up from your slumber, it was Hendery. He was next to you, his hands stroking your sides, your stomach, then your ass cheeks, giving both of them a squeeze. – she knows how to make me happy, - he said.

His hand begin massaging your pussy, stroking your folds.

-Don’t do it, - you squeaked out, when Hendery’s hand touched your clitoris.

-And why not, - he smiled as he continued the assault on your cunt, - my sister already had a taste, I really want to try that too, - he pouted. – she always gets all the fun.

-I would rather suck your dick, - you spoke to stop him.

-Maybe another time, - you heard the zipper of his trousers, and then you felt his thick cock prod at your entrance. He moved his mushroom head up and down your folds, gathering the slick to cover his member. His hand softly touched your stomach as he was steadying himself. – breath in, baby-girl, - he whispered, licking on your ear, where he positioned his body.

His thick cock entered you only a couple of centimeters, you exhaled loudly with a moan. Slipping deeper, Hendery made sure to wait, till you got accustomed, inch by inch. Once completely sheathed inside of you, his balls where right at your bottom, he started a steady rhythm. It was followed by grunts and groans, and every thrust he gave you was as delicious as a desert after a meal.

Your walls were clamping down on him so hard, Hendery had to stop, to make you relax a bit more, and then he would get back to it. He knew you were close, the more your walls were sucking him deeper, the readier to orgasm you were. With a couple more thrusts you came, biting your lips, grabbing onto the wood. Hendery still worked to reach his high, and just before he could, you came again, and then he stilled, filling your abused cunt to the brim.

His arms around your body stayed like that for a while, the same as his lips licked your sweat from the back of your neck, down to your shoulder blades. Pulling out slowly, he earned a moan from you.

-Should I leave you like this? – he teased. – I think I will…

-Noo, - you protested, - I cannot feel my knees, - you said honestly.

So instead of leaving you like that, he turned you around, tied your back against the post, with his seed between your legs, making it impossible to move, the unpleasant feeling lingering there. He was smiling at you. The same smile Guanhee gave you. And he walked up the stairs and, in that room, where you had seen Guanhee disappear a couple of times, only to be greeted by Hendery the next day, or Guanhee a day after that.

And as you anticipated, you woke up with someone touching you, opening your eyes you saw Guanhee, licking her lips.

-Beautiful morning, isn’t it? – she asked, and you didn’t respond. – my brother had some fun, I see, - she licked her lips, - I can clean you up, if you’d like?

You nodded a “no”, and Guanhee stared at you, before leaving.

-I know who you are, - you shouted behind her, and Guanhee slowly walked back.

-And what is that?

You stayed quiet, till she was right in front of you. She stared down at you, grabbing your jaw in her hand.

-Hendery is you and you are Hendery, Guanhee doesn’t exist…- you said. – you are not real.

She slapped you.

-Are you afraid of the truth? – you asked. – you and I both know; this is not the way to live.

-Who are you? – she asked, grabbing you even harder.

-I can help you, - you said, - I can help you both, if only you’d let me…

The conclusion – split personality. This might be the scariest patient of all, but you were ready to use your knowledge to help as much as you could.

Guanhee stared at you, leaning in, and you felt something pressing onto your leg. Through her tight skirt, a visible boner was pressing through, her lips attacked yours.

-But before that, we can play a little…

[omoi-no-hoka]

Hello! I'm sorry if this has been asked before, but how do you become proficient at handling conversations in Japanese/handling grammar very well? I read your post on the JLPT, and it addressed issues I have been tip toe-ing around--indeed, passive actions such as listening or reading are easier than the active ones. How did you go about that? Did you write a bunch of sentences daily? Did you have a conversation partner? What would you rec. to someone who lives outside Japan? Thank you!

This is an excellent question, and one that I get asked a lot irl by Japanese people in particular. Let’s talk about gaining fluency and the ways we can go about it!

How to Gain Fluency in Japanese (and Other Languages)

Speaking Fluency versus Accuracy

Language proficiency is divided into two separate categories:

Fluency: Although there are no widely agreed-upon definitions or measures of language fluency, someone is typically said to be fluent if their use of the language appears fluid, or natural, coherent, and easy as opposed to slow, halting use. In other words, fluency is often described as the ability to produce language on demand and be understood.

Accuracy: Correctness of language use, especially grammatical correctness and word choice.

By the above definitions, a “fluent” speaker may make grammatical mistakes, but they can speak without having to stop and think too much about conjugations, word choice, etc.

An “accurate” speaker can speak with nearly zero grammatical/word choice mistakes. However, the speed of their utterances isn’t generally taken into account, so it could take an “accurate” person twice as long to articulate the same idea as a “fluent” person. 

Ideally, you need to strike a good balance between these two qualities when speaking. I have a boss, God bless him, who is 100% fluency and 0% accuracy and…man is it hard to understand what he’s saying sometimes, but he can generally get his point across just barely. I have another coworker who is 100% accuracy and takes about 3 minutes to form a sentence because he wants it to be perfect. 

How to Increase Speaking/Writing Accuracy

First, let’s talk about the easiest thing to improve, which is accuracy. It’s also (in my opinion) the least fun thing to improve, because it means grammar books and vocabulary memorization. 

You can only use a language accurately if you know what is correct and what is incorrect, and you can only learn that by studying grammar and vocabulary (or if you’re a native speaker and picked it up innately, you lucky bastard).

So here’s some things you can do to increase your accuracy:

For example, if you’re having a hard time using the passive, you need to review that part of your textbook and find some exercises to drill it into your head. 

Say the correct thing aloud. Lots. Sometimes I just walk around my apartment and narrate everything I see/do like a crazy person, but that’s good practice. 

Write example sentences using the grammar you’re struggling with and say them aloud too. 

There’s a bunch of cool apps that connect you with native speakers that can help correct you too! I used to use HelloTalk, I think. 

If you’re a creative soul, when I was studying for the JLPT, I took 1 grammar point and 5 vocabulary words from my JLPT study books and used them to write a 2-page short story about the adventures of ネギ, a stray black cat that smelled like green onions because she napped in an onion field. Then I had a Japanese friend check it over for me and mark mistakes. I hand-wrote them to improve my abysmal handwriting at the same time. It was really fun! I sometimes think about doing it again just for funsies.

When someone corrects you, don’t feel like your entire life is over and you’re a failure and you’ll never get it right haha. I’ve seen people fall into that hopeless mindset, and that’s just nonsense. It’s a good opportunity for learning and nothing more! Say the correct thing you’ve just been taught out loud, then write it down if you can. And, if possible, find a chance to use it in conversation asap.

How to Increase Speaking/Writing Fluency

Now this is the hard one. Especially for those learners who do not have native speakers nearby. 

I’m going to be dead honest with you. I started formally studying Japanese at uni, and I had a Japanese roommate/best friend since year one. I had a 4.0 GPA in my Japanese classes (and only my Japanese classes lol) because I was and still am a MEGA NERD about it. 

...But it wasn’t until I studied abroad in Japan my 4th year of uni that I gained fluency. 

There are a lot of things that can hold us back from fluency. An interesting thing I’ve noted is that Foreign Language is perhaps the only subject in which a student’s personality can directly affect their progress. To gain fluency, you have to go forth and speak, but if you are naturally a shy person, that is going to hinder you. If you are the kind of person who takes mistakes/failures poorly, you will be less likely to take risks and try to say harder sentences. In contrast, you can get full marks in math regardless of the above personality traits. 

I’m not saying that you have to be an outgoing explosion of a human being in order to gain fluency. But what I am saying is that you have to be willing to seek out conversations, and you have to be willing to take chances. Get out of your comfort zone. Use that new word you picked up the other day. Try to explain something that is difficult for you. 

My problem was that, while I lived with a native speaker who would have happily taught me anything I asked, her English proficiency was much higher than my Japanese proficiency. And when I struggled to say something in Japanese, I’d fall back onto English. And when she told me something I didn’t understand in Japanese, she’d repeat it in English instead of Japanese, because that was easier for us both. The same thing happened when I was in Japanese class as well. I always had the assurance that I could fall back on English.

But when I elected to study abroad in Japan for 3 months, I knew that this was my big chance. So on the host family form in the “other requests” area, I wrote that I specifically wanted a host family that could not speak English. I was setting fire to my crutches, and I was scared but excited to see them burn. 

By the end of my three months in Japan, I had gone from “Chotto matte kudasai” and needing a minute to form my reply, to “Okay, yeah I see that movie too and I liked the action scenes, but I didn’t care for the story little.” (I’ve underlined mistakes that I would have made in Japanese, to show you that I sacrificed some accuracy to obtain higher fluency.)

So, in short, the easiest and quickest way to increase your spoken fluency is to throw away all the crutches you can and use the language as much as possible. Every single day. Even if you’re just having an imaginary conversation with yourself! And like I said, there are a bunch of cool apps that connect you with Japanese people who want to learn English and you can do language exchanges with them. I had a lot of fun with those in the past. 

As for increasing writing fluency...well. That’s a tough question with Japanese, because I can type Japanese at like 100 wpm, but my Japanese handwriting fluency is at a 10/100. I can read and type at the level of a native Japanese high school student, but I can only write the kanji that 7 year old can write. That’s no exaggeration.

The big reason for that dichotomy is that my work is paper-free. 100% of my work is done on screen, so about the only time I have to write out something is when I’m filling out a form, which includes my name (katakana), address, and maybe occupation. 

If you want to increase your Japanese handwriting speed, just keep on writing. Write those little short stories about ネギ like I did, or find some writing prompts (I just started a side-blog with writing prompts yesterday btw) or keep a little diary. Make opportunities to write. 

How to Have Nice Handwriting in Japanese

Okay, full disclaimer: I am the absolute LAST person qualified to talk about this, because I have awful handwriting in Japanese. 

Unless you have prior experience with a different language that uses kanji, or you lack the keen eye of an artist, you will likely struggle to develop neat handwriting. 

Personally, I really like using this app called Japanese Kanji Sensei. It’s on Android (not sure about iOS), and if you pay just a few bucks you can make your own kanji sets and stuff. Anyways, it will show you how to write the characters prettily. It gives you a good frame of reference for what nice, pencil/pen-written characters (versus calligraphy characters). It has hiragana and katakana on it too!

I get a stylus and write out the characters on this app for the muscle memory, so my hands remember the sensation of writing a certain character. (The muscle memory is different if you only use your fingertip.) This muscle memory and repetition is how Japanese people learn how to internalize kanji as well. I really enjoy and recommend this app. I’m sure that there are others out there like it too.

Summary

TL;DR: Review your textbooks, take risks, use every resource available or make your own, and just have fun with it! 💗

[melio-theeventuallawyer]

Studyblr Intro Post - Hi!

Hello Studyblr World!

I’ve sort of been lurking/posting in the studyblr community for a while now, but I want to really get more involved this year, especially because I have a Youtube channel I’m trying to grow now x Sooo, here is my official introduction post! 

About Me:

My name is Melissa

Pronouns are she/her and I just turned 22 a few days ago!

I’m starting my final year of Politics and International Relations after doing a year abroad in Berlin last year

I study at Queen Mary University in London but am from the US

This is my sideblog & studyblr I made, which goes along with my Youube channel MeliO - my main account is @equinesanonymous, where I post everything else (tbh most of it is quite political at the moment, but I try to keep this account a sort of peaceful place!)

I am the sort of person who need to be super organised. I always have an email inbox at 0, and write down everything, from what I want to say on the phone with a friend to ideas for writing. So as you can imagine, bullet journals are basically my life. 

But I also spend no time at all making them 'aesthetic’ because I am

 not an artistic person

Academic Stuff

I'm just starting my dissertation on how farmers and agrarian communities are utilizing legal challenges to fight devastating climate change. It’s a super interesting topic that coincides with a lot of my personal interests, but my goodness it is very depressing mostly because all of our lives will be drastically changed in the next few decades due to climate change and we’re doing very little to stop that because of the inherent short-termism that capitalism is built to reward and we need to restructure our entire attitude to the natural world and way of living in it to actually stop the most devastating change but even if we stopped emitting tomorrow we can still expect huge amounts of destruction suffering and dramatic change so that’s something to look forward to.

I’m going into law after I graduate, so I will be doing the GDL (conversion course, basically a legal catch up degree because I didn’t study law in undergrad) and LPC/SQE in London over the next 2 years. I'll then be working for 2 years in a City law firm in London!  Hence my name - eventually, I will someday actually be a lawyer (solicitor to be exact)

Interests

Environmentalism/activism (as may be guessed from my disso topic)

I love gardening and have a continually-growing plant collection

Social justice & change (tho I post more on my @equinesanonymous account)

Romantic period movies & crime/legal dramas (unlike the rest of humanity apparently, I thought Broadchurch was amazing)

I basically listen exclusively to either classic rock or low-fi study music between the hours of 6 am and 10 pm, then between 11 and 5, I listen to one radio station that does classical music)

I love horses. I rode loads before starting university and have started itching to get back into it, but it's very tricky being on a student budget and schedule! But I have big plans for some horse-related adventures in the future so we'll see what that holds :)

I am NOT a fan of online uni - I genuinely miss going to lectures!

I write articles for some online journals! Mostly about politics and law

What do I do on here? Why do I have a Studyblr/Tube?

I like to make content. It's so cool that I can post something and other people think 'yeah that's pretty too/or that's helpful thanks!'. So that’s part of it, particularly for my tumblr

The study community is so lovely and uplifting, I want to make my own place in it and get involved!

Particularly with the process of getting into law in the UK/getting a vacation scheme/training contract, I think I have built up quite a lot of understanding of the system and experience which I hope can be helpful to other people looking to do the same. That’s mainly videos I plan on making for my Youtube channel, so if that’s something you’re interested in be sure to subscribe here!

Goals (for the next year-ish)

Finish my short story (surprise! I’m writing a short story!) 

Continue studying Russian (I'm juuusstt starting now, but I want to finish my textbook by the end of the year, which goes up to like, advanced beginner level)

Keep improving my German (I'm about B.2 level after studying in Berlin for 6 months last year, but I want to not forget any of it!)  

Perhaps take up Spanish!

Finish my dissertation and get a first in my overall degree, even with basically my entire degree being online this year :/

Grow my Youtube and Tumblr, and just get involved here, make some friends, and hopefully help some people

Post things relatively frequently, but not obsess over having them be very aesthetic or pretty, just enjoy the process of making them 

Who inspired me?

@myhoneststudyblr @her-muses @fluencylevelfrench @lattesandlearning @coffeeandbookworld @unknown-notes @kimcaaam @studywithmariana @busy-study @saff-studies @imperfect-productivity @thestupidlawstudent @autumndesk​ @memoirs-of-a-future-lawyer​ @audreys-notes​ @german-lingots​ @life-and-law-studies​ @lawandcaffeine​ 

Also message me please! I want to hear from people and chat about uni - especially with everything being all weird and virtual this year 

[awanqi]

Hello! I have been a huge fan of your art for a long time now, and only now realized that you are attending MICA!! I have gotten accepted and am planning to attend MICA, do you have any advise or something you would say to your past self (or someone about to attend) and what year are you? (If you want to say, I understand if you don't want to). Thank you! I really love your compositions and and just really, everything about your art!! 💕💕💕 thank youuu.

Congrats on your acceptance!

This is all based on my own personal experience.

If you like trying new things, you will like the first year. If you’re like me and you’re a bit zeroed in on what you want (like unhealthily so lol) ie you’ve known what you wanted since before you got in, first year will be a pain to get through. They throw you into a variety of classes from all art disciplines ie sculpture, drawing, textiles, digital, GD, and more. When I got accepted, all I wanted to do was draw like I’d been doing before. You know, making art, but at a higher level, because this is art school. I didn’t know about the first year program (which is mandatory and was new at the time, my graduating class was the guinea pig class essentially) since they didn’t tell me anything. I really felt that professors in first year classes were usually looking more for experimentation than good art, which is why I got so frustrated back then with school. Experimentation is important, but I wish they let us choose whether we wanted to go through the first year program or not. I sound bitter, because I am.. I really feel like I could’ve done without that whole year, it was completely useless when it came to making and thinking about art.

Silver lining, I made friends that remain my closest ones til this day, so that part was valuable.

Then when you choose your major in the spring semester of freshman year, you can sign up for classes (for next year’s fall semester) more specific to what you want to do. Things get a little better here. And as you enter junior and senior year, things are a bit more lax in that you’re mostly allowed to draw what you want rather than sticking to a prompt. Usually prompts are very general which allows for more independent thinking.That is my preference, so I obviously enjoy junior year (what I’m in right now) way more than fResHMan YEar

For the most part, professors are kind and accommodating, and so knowledgeable. That’s one of the reasons why I decided to go to mica, everyone was so unbelievably kind. You may think at first that maybe that’s not such a good reason to decide on a major part of your education, but if it weren’t for the goodness of some of my professors, I would’ve been miserable. The students here are also very kind, at least the ones I’ve met and know. Absence/attendance policy is ridiculous, though... since classes meet once a week, they take attendance really seriously. Your profs will explain the attendance policy, which is the same throughout all years and majors, but it’s like if you’re late a lot, your grade drops a letter; if you miss a couple of days of one class, you fail the semester for that class. I forgot the exact number, but I’m sure it’s on the school’s site somewhere.

The main thing here is you absolutely get out of it what you choose. Art school can be a completely different experience than what I went through, since it’s a hell of a lot more subjective than a normal uni. Stick to what you love and enjoy. If you enjoy doing new stuff, more power to you. If you love drawing and only drawing, same deal. It’s all valid no matter what, so I hope you enjoy art school, even if you have to grit your teeth to get through some parts of it. Simple stuff: work hard, make good art, and make sure you do it because you love it, even if it’s for a school assignment. If we are ever allowed to go back to school in the fall, don’t hesitate to come say hi to me!

Edit: forgot to add that the benefit for the first year program was for students coming in who didn’t know what they wanted to major in, which is why the school put them into classes of so many different disciplines. My issue was that not everyone was undecided, just like not everyone was decided on what they wanted to major in, which is why they should’ve let incoming freshmen decide on whether they wanted to go through the first year program. They kept harking at us that “you know, a lot of kids switch majors in their later years so what you think you want now probably will change in the future!” Yes, that can happen, but I felt it unnecessary to make kids go through a whole year of everything and nothing just to prove that point, which doesn’t apply to everyone either. It’s like they didn’t trust us to decide for our future or something, so that was a bit disrespectful... again, this was just the first year, though.

[golden-masquerade]

Apartmentseeker.com reviews for Sunny Hollow Apartments

Note: Original fiction, might be something more with time, I’m not sure yet

Really wanted one of those templates where you make fake stuff, like those fake tweet and face text stuff, but I guess those don’t exist. Oh well, maybe someday.

Enjoy!

ApartmentSeeker.com reviews

Sunny Hollow Apartments

Average 3.9 stars

Highest rated reviews:

**** Nice place with strict rules (Jonas J)

My sister and I moved here a couple of years ago because of the cheap rent, and it's been pretty great. The apartments are close to the town square and convention center, which works out well for us. There's also a beautiful garden and swimming pool with hot tub on the back lot which has been pretty great. The HOA in place has lots of complicated rules so anyone new to apartments are gonna feel a little over their head, but my sister and I adjusted quickly. I recommend getting a room in Sunny Hollow if you need cheap rent and don't mind the iron fist of the HOA.

-Reply from Owner-

Thank you for the kind words, JJ. I just wanted to clarify that the building doesn't have an HOA. It has a Building Management Team, and we work hard to ensure that our tenants are happy and safe in their homes. It makes us happy to hear that you love Sunny Hollow! Please give us a call if you need maintenance or anything at all! -Sasha S.

***** Cheap rent for great apartments! (Dash C.)

I absolutely LOVE Sunny Hollow! While the rooms are on the small side (hence so cheap), the building is close to the center of everything (except a school). While there's some rules the HOA has you follow, it's easy to get into a routine and life couldn't be better. Neighbors are nice, the pool and hot tub are fantastic perks, and the building itself is pretty quiet. It's been great rooming here while studying for Uni. Highly recommend to the average Uni student who can afford apartment housing!

-Reply from Owner-

Hi, Dash! Thanks for the kind words! I just wanted to clarify that the building doesn't have an HOA. It has a Building Management Team, and we work hard to ensure that our tenants are happy and safe in their homes. Please give us a call if you need maintenance or anything at all! -Sasha S.

*** Too many rules to follow (Miche P.)

I came to live here a week ago, and while the 1B1B room is nice and affordable for one person, there's a giant rules packet that comes with the place. A lot of the rules are pretty weird and make no sense, and I specifically moved into this place because I was told it was anti-HOA, when there is, in fact, an HOA. I'm breaking the lease and moving out. I vowed to never live under another HOA again.

-Reply from Owner-

Hi Miche! We're sorry that living in Sunny Hollow was unpleasant I want to clarify that the building does not have an HOA. Apartment buildings cannot have an HOA by law. We do have the Building Maintenance Team, which maintains the property and does not govern how tenants live their lives like an HOA does. We do have a lot of rules, yes, which were designed by happenings in the past to keep everyone safe and in harmony. Please stop by the office on the front floor so we can go over your paperwork. And we thank you for giving Sunny Hollow a try. Wishing all the best, Sasha S.

*** Small rooms with thin walls (Travis D.)

Like it says, all the rooms here are 1B1B, and that's fine but the walls are paper thin! I can hear everything from my other neighbors, and they keep me up at night! And I can hear everything outside too, don't even get me started on that nonsense! I'm only here because this is the cheapest place in town, and now I'm starting to see why! Come here only if you're as desperate as I am!

-Reply from Owner-

Hi Travis, thank you for your honest feedback! We're sorry to hear about the noise levels from your room. You must be on the sixth floor? It's a recent addition that we were sure we added our sound proofing to. Please come stop by the office so we can address this and help you live more comfortably in your apartment. Regards, Sasha S.

** Nice place but HOA doesn't care (Heather I.)

I moved here six months ago because the rent was ridiculously cheap, and now I'm starting to see why. I foster stray cats and kittens, and they either all go missing or are found dead in a matter of days. The building staff all say that the coyotes are doing it, and don't want to stop it. I can't deny that the room is nice, but there's so many pointless rules to follow and they refuse to do anything about the apparently dangerous wildlife in the area. Will move out soon.

-Reply from Owner-

Hi Heather! Unfortunately, owning pets or having animals in the apartments goes against the leasing agreement. We would also like to remind you that the building does not have an HOA. It does have the Building Maintenance Team, which works hard to keep you happy and safe in your apartment every day. We're sorry that Coyote managed to get to your animals, but there really is nothing we can do in that regard. Please come by the office at your earliest convenience so we can discuss what happened and what we can do moving foreword. Thank you, Sasha S.

*** Nice place but rules are weird (anon)

Me and two roommates are managing in our apartment because it's so small. But the giant rules packet they gave us with the place is a huge headache. Cover our open sockets? Only air freshener allowed is cinnamon apple? Cover shiny objects with cloth if planning to leave the apartment for an hour? It's weird. I don't get it, but the rent is cheap and we have nowhere else to go. So, come live here if you need cheap rent!

-Reply from Owner-

Hi Ashley, John, and Avery! We're sorry if living in Sunny Hollow is a little tough right now. The rules for the building are in place to be sure everyone is safe and happy in their apartment. We have socket covers, air fresheners, the proper thick cloths, fluffy towels, and mix of bird songs in the rain for everyone who needs them, completely for free, to help make following the rules easier. We do also offer a lock box for your shiny objects, however there is a fee for rental. The Building Management Team is doing its best to ensure that living in Sunny Hollow is the best for you it can be. Please come see us in the office on the first floor so we can help make living in your apartment the happy experience it should be. Thank you, Sasha S.

(one star) HOA WILL THROW YOU OUT IF YOU'RE PREGNANT! (Tammy J.)

AS SOON AS THE HOA HEARD THAT MY PREGNANCY TEST WAS POSITIVE, THEY GAVE ME AN EVICTION NOTICE! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS AND ILLEGAL! HOA IS A BUNCH OF JERKS! DO NOT LIVE HERE! WILL BE SUING!

-Reply from Owner-

Flagged for trolling. Sasha S.

**** Cheap apartments for single occupant (Jason S.)

I've lived here for five years, and I really enjoy these apartments. While they are small (1B1B), they're perfect for living on your own and really affordable for single occupancy. The neighbors are nice, and its close to nearly everything in town. The area is quiet, and the building has a garden to walk in and relax and a swimming pool that open in the spring and summer. I highly recommend to anyone looking for an affordable place to live on their own without roommates Sunny Hollow is the best!

** HOA IN PLACE DESPITE BUILDING BEING ANTI-HOA! (anon)

They lied about there being an HOA owning the place! I don't care what they call it, it's an HOA! I don't like being lied to! I'm moving out as soon as I can! Fuck HOAS!

-Reply from Owner-

Sunny Hollow does not have an HOA. We have a Building Management Team, which works hard on making life in your apartment happy and safe. Please come see us in our office on the first floor to work out the lease breaking process. We're so sorry that we couldn't make your stay a happy one, Jeoff. Regards, Sasha S.

*** Small space, both good and bad (Preston S.)

I've been here for six months, and am happy with Sunny Hollow. The rooms are VERY SMALL 1B1B, so not good for large groups or families. But we get access to a swimming pool in the summer, and a quiet place to study and rest. It's just me here, so the space is just about perfect. Recommended for single person who wants to live independently

(one star) Will not rent to families (anon)

Was hoping to stay here because the rent is cheap, but the property owner wouldn't even let us in. They sited our five year old son! They say the property is strictly a no children allowed property, which I'm pretty sure is illegal! What residence doesn't allow children to live there?! Avoid this place if at all possible! We'd sue if we had the money!

-Reply from Owner-

Sunny Hollow does not allow children to live in our apartments, as is covered by Rule 1 of our Apartment Guide and Rules. Sasha S.

*** Giant rule book comes with the place! (anon)

First day I was here, there's this giant book of rules for the room and building, like wtf? It makes a great doormat. Place is alright, but why all the rules?

-Reply from Owner-

Hi, Jack! Sunny Hallow has a Building Management Team to ensure that everyone's residency is safe and happy. We understand that there are a lot of rules to follow, and we would be happy to explain them to you at your leisure. The state of the rule book does not matter to us, as long as you follow the rules. Please see us in our office on the first floor for any questions or concerns that you have. Thank you, Sasha S.

(one star) Can't live here because of my dog? (anon)

Was turned away because I have a chihuahua?! It's not even a dangerous dog breed? Apartments are supposed to be pet friendly, wtf?

-Reply from Owner-

Sunny Hollow does not permit pets of any kind or animals, as is explained on our website as well as Rule 2 of the Apartment Guide and Rules. We are sorry we couldn't provide you with a home and wish you well on apartment hunting. Sasha S.

(one star) SOMETHING ATE ALL MY FISH! (anon)

DAY AFTER I MOVED IN ALL THE FISH IN MY FISHTANK WERE GONE! HOA WON'T DO ANYTHING! MOVING OUT TODAY! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK ATE MY FISH?!

-Reply from Owner-

Sunny Hollow does not permit pets of any kind or animals, as is explained on our website as well as Rule 2 of the Apartment Guide and Rules.

Flagged for trolling. -Sasha S.

*** 1B1B, cozy but has pests (Cassie Q.)

The rooms are alright, but after three days I heard something scratching and crawling through the walls. I'm worried about pests, but building management said they'd take care of it at no extra charge. It's good that the owners are always on top of things, but I really don't like mice or bugs and I was told that there's no pests in the building at all. Weird, but affordable, so I can't complain too much.

-Reply from Owner-

Hi Cassie! We're sorry about the night noises, and will work with you so you can get a good night's rest. We can assure you that Sunny Hollow is pest free, and we have an exterminator coming in every month to monitor the building as per town sanction. We can assure you that you'll never see a single mouse or bug considered a pest in your apartment. You're welcome to come by the office on the first floor if you'd like to see the appropriate paperwork, or pick up any supplies you need to ensure that your home is pest free. Regards, Sasha S.

***** THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PLACE! (anon)

YOU NEED TO READ THIS! DO NOT GO TO SUNNY HOLLOW! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE BUILDING! THERE'S SOMETHING LIVING IN IT! OR LOTS OF SOMETHINGS! THEY EAT PETS! THEY KILL PEOPLE! THE HOA DOESN'T CARE! I'M NOT CRAZY, WE'VE ALL SEEN IT! WE'VE SEEN THEM! DON'T BE FOOLED! THE RENT IS LOW FOR A REASON! DON'T GO THERE!

-Reply from the owner-

Flagged for trolling. Sasha S.

[purplerose244]

Thinking journal for season 12 Prime Empire 😎😎😎 (1/2)

So, I'm keeping this during all of season 12 to put down my thoughts as they appear. It's mostly for not ranting every single time a new episode comes out so please don't mind me too much 😅 I'm following the English release so please no spoilers 😙

I'm gonna split it in two, since apparently the season has 16 episodes. So this is the first part, enjoy my rambling 💜💜

It's the 30th of March and here we go!

IN GENERAL

I'm so, SO HAPPY, we have a theme for this season. For my experience apparently silly themes (tech ninja, ghosts, pirates) had brought very surprising results so I'm SO DOWN FOR THIS 😍😍

It seems that they fixed the mood, there is a specific mystery and a specific mission to follow. I like it too

THE NEW WHIP IS DOPE AS ALWAYS

I'm really glad there are plenty of references to past episodes, comebacks are my jam

The only thing that still kinda bothers me is the length of the episodes. It's not all bad, I just think the 20 minutes format was better. One thing is splitting 20 in 10 minutes, another is putting together 11 minutes of important stuff. Doesn't bother me too much, I just wish there was more time for my favorite show 🤷‍♀️

WOULD YOU LIKE TO ENTER PRIME EMPIRE?

Is it normal for me to feel really old after they made the "what is a VCR?" joke? Like, I'm a uni student so still pretty young, but I lived through the transition from that to the DVD so... eh, I laughed anyway👵

Jay is smart, I really believe he is. Yet I saw him putting a possibly corrupted motherboard into a legendary game randomly found into a villain's lair, and I was like "Of course he did that, I love you you dumb*ss" raising my glass of juice towards him 😎

Okay, I'm down for this Lloyd. I'm down for a season with Lloyd being creeped out just because, being silly, just a ninja helping his friends and- (remembers there's a Harumi avatar in the sets) I'M NOT READY

The ending was actually nicely creepy. Cool nods in approval

DYER ISLAND

THAT INTRO THOUGH, THAT WAS EPIC! Love the techno sounds, love the clear gaming connection, I rate it 10/HECK YEAH LONG LIVE THE FOLD

I was scared about how the shorts were supposed to play along with the season, but it looks fine so far with the mechanic and later for Scott. Good 👍

Ah, Fist to Face, that game came all over from the nostalgic season 1. That's what I'm talking about 😎

So they just associated that Unagami is probably Dyer's avatar like that? Like sure, I thought about it, but it looks a little rushed. Mm, I wonder if there's something more behind it?

LEVEL 13

Cyrus Borg is back and he TALKS!!! Finally, he gets some action! Go tech dad!

I'm so happy he referenced the Digiverse, I would have been very disappointed if he hadn't. Time flies Borg...

Not gonna lie, I thought the next to follow up Jay's spot as best in videigames was going to be Kai or Lloyd. It's not disappointing though, since pretty much all the ninja have been seen playing, and to be honest I like the implication that Cole and Jay probably played a lot together. As bruiseshipping or as BrOTP, I still love them together no matter what 💙🖤💙🖤

Ooooohhhhh, that's why Zane and Pixal are left behind. It makes sense, sure, but I don't understand the implication of the plan: they saw Dyer entering Prime Empire, so why looking for him in real life? Mm, maybe they will investigate about his life and what happened... PIXANE ON THE CASE 😍

Already saw Prime Empire's world in the shorts, of course it looks DOPE, still very happy to finally being there!

SUPERSTAR ROCKIN' JAY

I don't know why, but Kai questioning the double jump made me laugh. Also poor him, he just got his powers back from last season and they're already gone again 😂

And of course. Them. Wow. It must be the most amazing and CURSED thing I've ever seen so far, the League of Jay 🤯 I'm so happy they exist and they freaking use past seasons' suits!!! Awesome!!! Never thought I was going to see Jay's old plain haircut again... yeah, he got better with the curly one, but I'm feeling nostalgic 🤷‍♀️

Their nick are histerical omg, Jaybird, Dee-Jay, Jaywalkin, I'm loving this way more than I should 😂 Also they freaking screamed "JAY-NJA GOO!!!" and I don't know what to do with that, it's too great for me to comprehend 👏👏

And then, THIS happened:

Your Honor, I would like to confirm this as THE MOST SECRET DREAM I'VE EVER HAD FOR THIS SHOW FINALLY COMING TRUE!!! A NINJA FROM NINJAGO DOING THE NARUTO RUN!!! 🤯🤯🤯 Done, I'm done, conclude the season, this is more than enough for me 😍

First Kai gets hit and fall from a building, DYING, then Lloyd gets desperate for his brother (MY BROTP 💚❤💚❤), then Kai respawns and Lloyd looks so relieved and Kai is all panting while slowly realizing it's a game and MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE THIS MUCH OKAY???

As a very passionate Kai fangirl I always expect the cringy moment, it really is inevitable for my favorite hothead. I love that idiot so much it's unbelievable, even if it's an absolute and costant suffering 😅 Holy Garmadon it was painful seeing his VERY slow realization that in this game you only have four lives

... SO HE HAS ONE NOW!?! NINJAGO CREW YOU ALREADY KILLED ZANE, NYA AND LLOYD ONCE AT THE END OF A SEASON, DON'T YOU DARE PLAY WITH ME AGAIN 😱😱😱

Okay, I did not expect to hear about Mr. Cuddly Wamp ever again since Hands of Time and BOY if I'm happy it was actually a password, I love this show 😂

SCOTT FINALLY!!! YESS!!! 😍😍😍

Okay, for as long as it is not debunked, I will hold onto the Scott is Jay's brother/twin theory. I'm sorry but: his jacket has dragons AND lightnings on it, they have very similar skin in avatar mode, he said he was waiting for him in the short, he could very well have his same hair under cap and hoodie and he's a mechanic too. I know, I know, they could have the same skin because Scott helped him for the avatar, and there might be shadier reason behind the 'I was waiting for you' thing, and there are tons of good mechanics in Ninjago... STILL HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE??? 😍

SCOTT HAS ONE LIFE POINT TOO??? NO! NOOO!!! NOOOOOOO!!! Don't you dare appear and steal my heart only to die at the end of the season, come on!! 😭

So for now it seems like he just wants to survive. Can we actually confirm he's an avatar and not an NPC? I mean he could be, but I don't see the point of an NPC self aware of his life points. Idk, maybe I'm overthinking this 🤷‍♀️

Lol, Kai is the only one weirded out by the Jay-con all around him. Probably because he hasn't heard from his fans since Skybound 😅 (I'M STILL HERE MY FLAME BABE, ILY ❤❤❤)

And in all of his glory, freaking Superstar Rockin' Jay!!! 😎😎 Okay, I loved the design since the first time I saw it, but it looks possibly even better in the show 😍😍😍 And Jay looks absolutely adorable in it, and he's got a guitar, and he was waiting for his friends, and he hugs them (I'm weak for LEGO hugs for some reason) and he is so happy and AAAHHH 💙💙💙💙💙

I'm very curious about how Scott will play into the situation, clearly he will provide some kind of insight about Prime Empire. I can't wait to know more about him!! 😍

I AM OKINO

I did not expect this when I saw this Okino guy in the trailer... and I'm so happy I was surprised, I love him 👌

And he's voiced by Alessandro Juliani?? HECK YEAH!!! With all the hype about the DnD 13th season, and consequentially the knight theme, I really miss Nexo Knights and having Aaron's VA around makes me happy... any hope to have Giles Panton as well? I miss Clay the most 💙💙

This is what I'm talking about, the game theme needs this stuff! I was already happy to see life points, double jumps and respawns, but this? The NPC guide? Awesome 👍 It's nice to see the take on the matter, the guide seeing so many players getting killed, first because they did not listen, then because they were actually just unlucky. The touchy matter I always expect watching Ninjago 👏👏

At least I THINK he's an NPC? For now I don't really see a way of knowing, and it doesn't look like it matters. He didn't show life points so maybe? Does this mean he can't die? I have questions people

Which brings me to the cube thingies. That's what happens to the dead players? I mean, I would understand if they just become pixels, but there's also the drone that takes the datas every time. Idk, feels like there's more behind it. And honestly? It looks like great material for angst, like one of the ninja dies but then they discover they just need to get where Unagami stores all of the players! I hope it's something like this!

They designs of the players are really cool, I already saw them in the other episodes, but seeing them this close just confirmed it. Between this and Jay's awesome avatar, I see lots of great cosplay ideas coming 😍 I wonder when will Kai and Lloyd use their avatars, and why would they since I'm guessing Jay did for disguise and to distinguish himself from his fans

PLEASE TELL ME WE'LL SEE SCOTT SOON, I ALREADY MISS HIM!!! 💙💙💙 I have too many theories about that tech dude, I'm so excited about who he might turn out to be!

I was a little skeptical about the new ninja suits, but seeing them in the show convinced me, very cool! Especially on Nya 💕💕💕

THE GLITCH

Alright, Okino is indeed an NPC. Cool the fact that at first he could not understand the fact that he was in a game, but when reality changed he was forced to. Welcome into the crew! 😙

I'm kinda worried about it though, either they will shut down the game and he will stay inside or he will sacrifice for them. He's a very loyal samurai, I can see that happening and I'm SCARED

I WAS SWEATING BULLETS AT THE AMBUSH!!! I 100% saw it coming, we all freaking saw it coming, even the ninja did but where like 'we can walk and die or we can risk and die so might as well'. But still, my babies DYING and respawning so fast was not pretty 😱😱

Nya got the scariest death until now in my opinion, holy Garmadon Dyer DOES have a twisted mind...

Seeing Kai so scared of being in a new situation and with one HP reminds me A LOT of the Digiverse, and that's actually a nice touch. Give him a cellphone, hothead is a social media expert, but put him in a game and... huuhhh... 😅

Have I mentioned I love the ninja's new emoji masks??

BECAUSE I DO!!! 😂😂😂😂

So Unagami knows about them trying to stop him and he sent the rat people because of it. Considering how little we know about this guy, I'm wondering what we are about to discover

Alright, going to the next challenge, very curious about this adventure. So... beware of the rats, ninja? Still not sure what I think about the rats 😅

THE CLIFFS OF HYSTERIA

I would like to say Okino is the edgiest character of the show I've ever seen... but I've seen MORRO. But still poor guy, he got a case of the Matrix

Oooohhhh, the major question in videogames: better go grinding for more money to get the better stuff but while losing lots of time, or get the least expensive just to go on with the story but definitely risking to lose lives?

Ah there we go, so the energy cubes mean something! Also reference to the Sushimi guy of the set (gosh that name, I can't 😂). So do people actually die in Prime Empire or they are just kidnapped kinda? Can the ninja just bring back? ANGST POTENTIAL

Cole please don't die please don't die please don't die for the love of Garmadon please don't die somebody help-

HOLY FSM KAI I MEANT HELP FROM SOMEONE WITH MORE THAN ONE LIFE DON'T DO THAT BE CAREFUL PLEASE I FREAKING LOVE YOU YOU RECKLESS HOTHEAD ❤❤❤

Nya giving Kai a sweet look after seeing her brother is okay, that's what I live for 😍

So apparently Unagami is trying to build some kind of device using the energy cubes of the dead players (sounds kinda creepy like this 😱) to create some kind of portal? To Ninjago? I don't understand, if Unagami is Milton Dyer then why this? Just to bring his army and conquer? I mean I guess, sounds a little simple though. Then again, if it turns out it's not Dyer, it could be Unagami wanting to be real and get into his creator's world? Mm...

I like the message, having the ability to choose your own path. Very fitting for a game themed season, I hope it gets explored even more!

More for the "I love the ninja emoji masks of this season"'s compilation 😂😂😂

THE MAZE OF THE RED DRAGON

Duuuude, Jay being good at mazes comes all the way from Possession, the Tomb of the First Spinjitzu Master! 😍 ... or maybe I just rewatch this show too much... could be both really 😅

Unagami is NASTY!

Confirmed the thing about going into the real world, what scares me is how much powers Unagami seems to actually possess. Like, can he do the block thingy whenever he wants? Just straight up pause and do whatever? Wow...

Jay being extra 😎

I mean, of course he is, he's got better statics! 😂 I like how he seems so focused and in charge, I still hope we see more of him... and Scott... WHERE IS SCOTT???

I love dragons, this metal one is cute 😍

So now we have two ronin: a samurai looking for a path on his own in a digital world... and a shady guy named Ronin 😛 Total respect for Okino, he really showed the values he believes in. No matter he was programmed his way, I hope he finds what he's looking for. Better come back for the final battle!

One Keytana down, two more to go. I know one is the price of the race, while the last one... I don't really know.

More of the masks because I love them 😂 Here we have Vegeta Lloyd and Kawai Cole ✌✌

[tiny-fist]

It is actually silly that I post this on Tumblr if I do not even dare to speak with my family or friends about it.

But I feel like Tumblr offers a "familiar anonymity" online. There are many "cute" and kind people on here and I enjoy this type of social media quite a lot. I have had no bad experiences on Tumblr so far, and I had quite some good experiences with sharing thoughts, feelings and problems online the few times I did.

This is partially an awareness post. You can of course share your opinion on it if it is a respectful one.

But the text aims more at expressing real and true feelings with a certain degree of poesy.

I have very good and close friends.

I am very close with my family.

I have a professor I am "befriended" with and who I really like.

I have some people online who I write messages with an who are very interesting and wonderful people.

I earn some money.

I do stuff I am interested in.

I am able to learn about what I love at uni and outside of it.

I am able to purchase goods which I find interest in - aesthetically, spiritually, et cetera.

With some family members and some friends I am even that close that we deeply connect on a soul level.

I get new chances every day and I experience and get to know so many beautiful things each and every day.

Yet, this does not stop me from feeling, sometimes, utterly alone.

My friends and family understand me on many levels. As I already mentioned, we connect on a really deep level.

But sometimes I feel like there is no one out there who really gets me.

I want to cry because of this feeling. Not because I am necessarily sad or because I'm angry or desperate.

I just feel like a lost child in a supermarket. Only that I am lost in the world.

Not really in a way of "not knowing where to go". It is that I know exactly what I would be looking for. I only have the terrible fear that this thing, this being, this person could not exist.

I feel a constant pull to somewhere. I know that these concepts are probably highly spiritual and sound wooowoo to many. It does not have anything to do with God.

I believe in God. Strongly.

Not in a fundamentalistic and weirdly obsessed Christian way.

Do not worry 😂😂 my beliefs are entirely different.

This is not about God. I sometimes wondered whether I have lived before. I know that I loved a person once, deeply.

I can only remember fragments of that person and I do not even know if they have existed or do exist now.

I told my best friend about this once. And she told me that she does feel the same sometimes. Like she is looking for a lost love. That she is loving someone, desperately, but she cannot find them. She has decided to ignore this feeling.

But I cannot.

Many creative things that I do lead me onto this path again. If I write, I tend to have many doubts about it. But if I write about this foggy story in my head, this person, everything just goes quiet.

I do not remember anything of which I can say that it has been, at some point of time, a fact. Most people probably cannot. And if they do, they do not pay any mind to these thoughts. Why should they? In our modern world, it is believed most probable that these are just things our mind makes up.

Some of you may have started to read this post because of the "alone" factor. I know that many feel like this but will not admit to this fact.

The fact that no one really cares about us. Some to some degree, yes. But not actually. Not fully. And that's sad.

Be you the person who cares.

This does not mean that you listen to people unequivocally and do anything for them. I have seen many people like this and have been one of them as well. This leads to ruin one way or the other. It leads to you are seeking the approval of others by helping them and them (not everyone but many people) using your generousness.

If you listen, really listen. If you look at people, really look at them. If you try to empathize, really take your time and try to understand them. Even "bad" people. Even people who are complete dicks. It's not easy, I know. Do not give yourself away, have strict borderlines for yourself, but try to care. Not if you feel uncomfortable about it - do not force yourself. But if it feels right, try to care.

Another lesson I learned was that one has to find a friend in themselves. Try to acknowledge and accept this feeling of aloneness. Is there a reason for it? There does not have to be.

No one has to understand you. Accept the fact that people never will. Of course they won't. They are not you. But this turns it into a treasure. YOU are the person who can give amazing care, amazing knowledge, feelings, new perspectives to the world. Because you are yourself.

Actually even when you write a term paper for uni - one you hate perhaps - there is potential of change in it. You are able to give new perspectives to your professor!

Uni students usually believe themselves to be inferior to their professors. But you have the potential to make a beautiful change in everyone's life - including your own - every day.

And this turns "being alone" into "being yourself, being unique". What would the world be if some people could understand everything about you? One word: boring.

Treating these spiritual feelings, I can only say that I believe there are many people out there. Perhaps reincarnation, transmigration,

metempsychosis or as it is called in German "Seelenwanderung" does exist. Perhaps not.

My best friend does not believe in spiritual stuff. She admitted to this longing. I don't really know if she thinks that it'll be answered one day. She probably believes this longing goes out into nothingness. Into thin air.

Does it? I don't know.

Even if such a person exists somewhere, I'm not even sure if I am supposed to meet them one day.

I know that my mom and dad met in one of these fated encounters across countries. I know that my sister met her husband in a weirdly fated encounter.

I know that many "crazy" things have happened in my life so far. My best friends admits to them and says "They only happen in your life. Something like that would never happen to me."

Why not? Why should it happen to me exclusively? Perhaps it is only a matter of perspective. Only a matter of noticing such things. Deciding, perhaps even subconsciously, that such things will never happen, that such things do not happen, perhaps to other unknown, diffuse people, but not to oneself.

I am spiritual. I have been for years. So I accept that they do happen. I actually never really had a chance aside from accepting them. But I was not sad about it.

Many of my friends deny the existence of "such things". But they ask me very often about them nonetheless. And many people - even strange people - admit to having had such experiences themselves if they believe they can trust you enough.

I feel like many people deny themselves acceptance of their thoughts and feelings in this regard because they fear what the outcome, what the implications of this acceptance would be. Would they be doomed to believe something they could never accept inside their minds?

No. I will touch on this below.

I am not saying that I am brave in any way by accepting them into my life. I just grew up this way. I had such experiences ever since I was a kid and there were many similar experiences in my family. There was no reason not to accept them until I got to know that people usually people do not talk about "such things".

People chase for love because they believe it equals happiness. It does not. Happiness is sometimes just a choice, but if you make it, it also means that you have to work to keep it up. Like nourishing plants. You buy one, you plant one, you receive one - but you have to take care of it the right way to make it bloom and flourish.

Do I know that I will meet a fated person who will satisfy this constant longing? I don't know.

But I know that such feelings exist and I know that one should - no, has to - accept them in order to live in a good, positive way. Are they real? Your mind tells them they cannot be? What is real anyway? How can a human answer this question?

The only paradigm you can really change in your life is your perspective on things. This feeling, these feelings are there, OK? What if you accept them?

People need to stop wanting to explain the entire universe in a logical way. At one point or the other, the human consciousness will fail.

Accepting these feelings, no matter how weird, illogical, metaphysical or nonsensical they may be to you, is a way of saying "yes" to yourself.

Realizing that you, whatever you may be like, whoever you may be, are valid in any case. No matter what other people say. You have to answer to yourself.

Some people say one has to answer to God or some higher power. Not everyone believes in such a power and that is completely valid, fine and alright. Who is real, though, is you. You are real. And you have to decide whether you want to question yourself, doubt yourself, reject yourself when you are in reality the only person who can truly love yourself.

Because I realized that, yes, such a person may exist. And I firmly believe that I shall meet them one day.

But before that, I have realized that one of the people whose love I long for is me.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Be blessed.

[merinnan]

DMBJ Ep 5

We start episode 5 with the Xiaoge Rescue Count at 6 for Wu Xie, and 7 total.

- Pangzi just sitting there eating while they go to dig an evil bug out of A-Ning 

- A-Ning is luckier than Pan Zi, though, having it in her leg rather than in her gut 

- Should I consider this part of the Xiaoge Rescue Count? Technically he is saving A-Ning here, but does she count?

- Fuck it. There's now 3 Xiaoge Rescue Count categories: Wu Xie, the protagonists as a whole, and everyone 

- So the count is now 6 for Wu Xie, 7 for the protagonists, and 8 for everyone 

- That was a relatively painless bug removal. Probably helped that A-Ning was unconscious 

  - That's a large hole left in her thigh. Speaking from experience, standing & walking are not going to be fun for her for a LONG time. 

- But this is a cdrama, so she'll be fine within an ep or two 

- lol, I've never seen an unconscious person with this level of muscle control

- Wu Xie, you don't just wrap a bandage around a wound like that! Dress it first! 

- But, again, it's a TV show, so a bandage will be fine 

- JESUS CHRIST PANGZI 

- LOL, yes, shhhh, Pangzi. Shhhh. 

 - Pan Zi's looking a lot better this ep 

- ...what's wrong, Wu Xie?

- Aaaand he just passed out. 

- Xiaoge actually looks mildly disturbed. I think this is the second most amount of emotion we've seen from him so far 

- That looks like a nasty bite 

- Oh, we're just gonna...feed him blood. That's what we're going. 

- And it woke him up

- Okay, so Xiaoge Rescue Count is now 7 for Wu Xie, 8 for the protagonists, and 9 for everyone 

- Fortunately, Xiaoge hasn't lost as much blood as he did last time he used it for magic rescue purposes. Last thing they'd want is a comatose Xiaoge down here

- Everyone is just so chill whenever Xiaoge does weird stuff, it's great 

- Aaah, I was wondering how he'd been bitten, since I didn't remember a bug biting him. I forgot that A-Ning did 

- That's some odd poison if it got into her saliva just because she had a bug in her leg

- GDI Pangzi 

 - Of course the cure is in the tomb, and of course Xiaoge knows about it 

- LOL, there's a vaccine against the poison gas 

- Oooh, I was wondering when the dudes in the trees were gonna make their move. Poor Wu Xie's friend. He really would have been safer in the tomb, huh

- Hahah, why are the bad guys treating Wu Xie like the leader when he's just a uni student? 

- Ooh, who did that? 

 - Oh, Wu Xie's friend. Good boy. I mean, it was dumb, but brave. Now they can't use you against your friends. 

- Poor Wu Xie is so woozy he's not sure what happened

- Yeah, figured it was some more of A-Ning's friends 

- YOU LOSE CONTACT, & YOU LOSE CONTACT, & EVERYONE LOSES CONTACT! YAAAAY! 

- Get out before nightfall. Isn't that what Xiaoge said, too? 

- Yeah, abandoned in a forest at night doesn't sound like fun

- She should NOT be walking that well, although at least it is showing her limping and in pain instead of just okay 

- God, Pangzi, that was a dick move 

- And that was even more of one 

- Wow. I...don't really like this Pangzi. Those things he just did were actively cruel, even if she is an antagonist

- It's blocked? Yeah, ya think? 

- Oh, STFU Pangzi 

- Pan Zi looking at him like "I really regret not shooting you properly when I had the chance" 

- Xiaoge doing this "stab fingers STRAIGHT INTO MORTAR and remove the brick" trick again 

- The look on Pangzi's face is pure gold

- Had to pause watching for a sec to think about why I'm so mad at this Pangzi and more forgiving of Liu Sang in Chongqi. I think it's because Liu Sang intended to pull a prank. A mean prank, but he lacked the experience to understand that it was actively harmful and dangerous. It went wrong, and then he freaked because of that lack of experience and didn't know what to do/say until Xiaoge pushed him. And then he tried to help make up for it. Whereas this Pangzi did things that he knew would cause real physical pain to A-Ning and potentially worsen her injury just because he doesn't like her, and he doesn't seem to care or even give that a second thought, let alone look like he's going to apologise or try to make up for it. 

- OK, mini-rant over, back to the episode.

- Gratuitous Xiaoge side-profile pic just because

- And now Pangzi is gonna embarrass himself by trying & failing to be Xiaoge 

- YEAH CHENGCHENG I WONDER HOW THEY KNOW YOUR NAMES 

- Okay, I gotta stop to look up his name. I can't keep calling him Wu Xie's friend all the time

- High Shao. There we go

- High Shao is a good kid 

- A-Ning's eyeroll at Pangzi is my entire mood with his antics right now 

- Eyeroll from Wu Xie 

- Can't see Pan Zi's face, but his whole posture is basically an eye roll 

- Oh. Well. Huh. I did not expect Pangzi to actually manage to break the wall

- Judging by everyone's expressions, no-one else did, either 

- Oooh, something bad must be coming, Xiaoge is going on guard 

- Yep. Zombie dude is on his way 

- Yes, send the woman with the serious leg injury to go crawling through a tiny cave tunnel first. Brilliant idea, Wu Xie

- OK, I should stop being so hard on bb!Wu Xie, this is his first time in a tomb after all 

- Y'know, guys, I really think it would have been a better idea to let Pan Zi go before Pangzi, given that he's also injured and all. Get your most injured people to safety first.

- How the fuck is that zombie deflecting Xiaoge's sword with his HAND?! 

- WHY IS IT MAKING TINGING NOISES AS IF IT'S METAL HITTING METAL?! 

- Oh, NICE, Xiaoge! 

- I am very disappointed that I could not get a good screencap of that awesome, smooth, and effortless slide he did through the tunnel

- Things I discovered when I went to YouTube to see if I could get a good screencap of it by slowing down the playback (which I can't do on Viki) 

- the eps on YT and the eps on Viki are edited differently. I'm gonna have to watch this again on YT once I'm done with the Viki one

- At a guess, the YT ones have a bunch of stuff cut, because where I'm up to in ep 5 on Viki is in ep 4 on YT 

- For instance, XIAOGE'S AWESOME SLIDE THROUGH THE TUNNEL JUST THEN is not in the YT one?! 

- Wow, I'm going on a lot of tangents tonight. OK, back to the ep.

- Xiaoge holding the zombie at swordpoint until it gives up and backs away 

- So these zombies have some intelligence 

- ngl, though, if I was on my hands and knees in front of a hot guy holding a sword on me, backing away would be like the last thing I would be doing

- Why the fuck is there a giant, chained up tree deep in the middle of an underground tomb? 

- And ivy all over the cave walls? 

- WHERE ARE YOU GETTING SUNLIGHT FROM DOWN HERE?! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?! 

- I'm glad you're just as confused as I am, Pan Zi

- OK, some sunlight is getting in, since there are two bodies laying in a conveniently positioned sunbeam 

- Sure, what the fuck are you gonna do to him, Pangzi? He's dead. He doesn't care. 

- Unless he's another zombie who's gonna rise from the grave, but still don't think he cares

- Yes, Pangzi, tomb robbers don't end well 

- Love Wu Xie's cute suspicious face 

- Lucky grab there 

- Oh, there you are, Sanshu 

- Do all the tunnels in this place empty out at this tree? 

- LOL, I love that Sanshu immediately doesn't take any of Pangzi's shit

- That was a bad place to faint 

- Good thing Xiaoge is right there! 

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 8 for Wu Xie, 9 for the protagonists, 10 for everyone 

- I love how often Wu Xie is the damsel in distress

- Don't worry, Sanshu, Xiaoge will definitely look after his future bf

- Looks like Pangzi is about to fall. Again 

- Pangzi, if you had HELD ON to that vine, it wouldn't have been as bad 

- Wait for him to realise he's laying between two corpses in 3, 2, 1... 

- Uh...I hope they're just stuck to him and not actually sitting up under their own power

- These are remarkably well-preserved corpses 

- THERE'S that realisation 

- And there's the freakout 

 - They did get just get caught 

- They're not gonna have kids, Pangzi, they're dead 

- Pangzi, what are you doing? Leave the corpses alone now

- Wake them? I don't like the sound of that, Sanshu 

- Also, how do you know that? 

- Cute pingxie shots just because 

- In her mouth? 

- Oh, a key, thank goodness. I thought it was gonna be an evil bug 

- Pangzi, stop appraising her necklace, didn't you say you're not a tomb robber? 

- There's fucking what now? 

- HOW?! 

- THERE'S A WHAT IN HER ASS?! 

- Hahah, well that certainly stopped Pangzi from checking out the valuables on her 

- JFC 

- That got Xiaoge's attention 

- Oooh, he's noticed something in the tree 

- Sorry not sorry for more gratuitous Xiaoge shots

- That's a pretty looking key 

- ...and now her corpse is undergoing rapid decay? How the fuck was the key preventing the corpse from decaying? 

- That explanation makes no logical sense, Sanshu 

- Maybe that box the other corpse is holding, Wu Xie? 

- Pangzi thought of that, too

- What were those flashes? Were those just for the viewer, or was one of the characters getting them? 

- That seemed to be the unnaturally bright green-eyed man from the opening credits 

- Leave the sword alone, Pangzi 

- Although I do understand the desire to pick it up

- Uh...what 

- No shadow is NEVER a good thing 

- WTF? 

- Sanshu, I never wanna play poker with you 

- This doppelganger has done a damn good job of acting like Pangzi this whole time 

- When did it replace him? 

- Maybe it was the doppelganger who was so cruel to A-Ning? We'll see.

- That's a very solid ghost 

- And that's kinda creepy 

- Uh...isn't she already dead? 

- Sanshu just going straight for the tackle 

- Clever boy, Wu Xie 

- Though, Xiaoge, where were you? Were you just gonna let Pangzi strangle Sanshu, or did you figure Sanshu had it handled?

- (he did not have it handled) 

- (pretty sure if that had been Wu Xie you'd've jumped in the moment Pangzi's hands went around his throat, if not before) 

- *sigh* Pangzi, pls 

- The Green Eyed Fox? 

- Was that the dude in the fox mask? 

- Probably (also?) the opening credits guy

- How the fuck has it taken me 3 hours to get through half an ep? 

- Oh yeah, I keep going off on tangents and pausing to take pretty screenshots of Xiaoge 

- So we're doing fox demons, are we? 

- Don't touch anything. Yeah, like that sword you had casually slung over your shoulder.

- Storytime! 

- Suuure, Pangzi 

- Xiaoge really seems to know everything 

- Don't rattle it, Wu Xie 

- Oh, that interested A-Ning 

- I wonder if this is the thing that's supposed to cure Wu Xie 

- Sanshu thinks it's a bad idea, but doesn't want anyone other than Wu Xie to know

- Or, more to the point, doesn't want Pangzi and A-Ning to know 

- Good excuse, Wu Xie 

- I wonder if Pangzi is still supposed to be a doppelganger, or if that was part of the hallucination 

- Yeah, suuure you're not going to steal relics, Liu Tai

- Have they set up a new camp at the digsite, or did they take Chengcheng and High Shao back to their original camp? 

- I think he does legit want A-Ning to be ok, though 

- Looks like I was right, all the tunnels lead to the tree 

- Which means I expect zombie guy to show up any minute

- Don't think A-Ning will be happy they kept what happened to her friend from her when that happens 

- Xiaoge back into 'something is coming' mode 

- Oh, how was that for timing? Less than a minute after I said it, zombie dude is on his way 

  - And it goes straight for Pangzi 

- Maybe he knew Pangzi was a dick to his friend 

- GDI A-Ning 

- That's a strong zombie 

- XIAOGEEEEEEE! 

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 8 for Wu Xie, 10 for the protagonists, 11 for everyone

- Yes, Pangzi, Xiaoge IS amazing

- lol, Pangzi making so much noise cheering for Xiaoge that he got the zombie's attention back 

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 8 for Wu Xie, 11 for the protagonists, 12 for everyone

- This is apparently the Xiaoge Rescues EVERYONE ep 

- I'm not surprised you fell, A-Ning, with that wound

- That was a heavy fall. Ouch 

- Come on, A-Ning, you seemed more level headed than this so far 

- And the zombie knocks away the easier/closer target, Wu Xie, to target A-Ning 

- Wonder if there's a reason for it, or just dramatics

- And then he stops trying to bite her to kick her away & go back to fighting Xiaoge? 

- Those are some very nice moves from Xiaoge 

- And now the zombie is...launching himself at Wu Xie and the others? 

- Wu Xie being the hero and pushing everyone else out the way

- Pangzi to the rescue? 

- No - A-Ning!

- Poor A-Ning 

- Oh yeah, better pull Pangzi out the tree 

- Zombie spitting up blood as he's dying 

- No, Pangzi, he's not gonna be fine. A-Ning shot him like 4 or 5 times in the chest 

- Aaah, zombie is lucid now

- Wu Xie ain't doing too good right now 

- Those are some nasty bruises. Caused by the poison gas/blood, I'm guessing 

- WTF made you think drinking the water in a tomb chamber was a good idea? 

- Xiaoge's shown emotion a total of 3 times in 5 eps, and 2 of those have been worry for Wu Xie

- Whatcha looking for, Xiaoge? 

- Huh, no-one even thought to look under there, just assumed the box was all that was interesting 

- Kirin blood?!  

- And how did A-Ning know what it was, esp from that distance? 

- Pan Zi, you are like the second most badass person here next to Xiaoge

- Also, I am no longer feeling sorry for A-Ning 

- You owe these people your life, A-Ning, and this is how you repay them? 

- Xiaoge isn't too impressed. After all Pan Zi ain't Wu Xie 

- Oh, that seems like a fair deal. 

- I am pleased with the amount of Xiaoge in this ep

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 9 for Wu Xie, 12 for the protagonists, 13 for everyone

- Not gonna count his offer to A-Ning as a rescue, since he didn't bother waiting to see if she'd accept before he went ahead and saved his future bf 

- This is the softest I've seen him look all show

- Pan Zi is much nicer than I would have been. I would have probably punched her 

- Then again, they've made a fuss a few times about treating her differently because she's a woman, ugh

- Hahah, Xiaoge just getting up and walking off without any explanation for poor Wu Xie

- Wu Xie seemed so concerned, like he thought he'd done something wrong 

- Then all worried, aww 

- Hahah, Xiaoge not even gonna wait for A-Ning, just gonna go find her guys all by himself 

- Several *thousand*? No wonder Wu Xie's gagging

- Oh, eating super old kirin blood is what made Xiaoge's blood magical? Does that mean Wu Xie's blood is also magic now? 

- Just Chengcheng in danger, Sanshu? What about High Shao? 

- What about climbing the tree? 

- XD XD XD

 - Sanshu saying exactly what I just did

- There's sunlight already coming through, will you even need to dig a hole? That sunbeam on the corpses was pretty big 

- Pan Zi like "of course I can climb all the way up there with a hole in my gut and several other injuries"

- Of course Wu Xie is gonna worry about A-Ning getting out as well. He wouldn't be Wu Xie if he didn't 

- Wu Xie is such a nice boy 

- Pan Zi is also pretty forgiving 

- Pangzi, you just can't take people being sincere with you yet, can you? 

- That's some depressed fatalism there

- Sanshu now doing his part to convince A-Ning by appealing to her sense of responsibility for her men 

 And there we go for ep 5! It only took me...5 hours for a 40 minute ep 

We end with Xiaoge Rescue Count at 9 for Wu Xie, 12 for the protagonists, 13 for everyone

[karolinium]

I consider myself a fairly disciplined person, BUT I wasn’t always like this. So here are some tips for you to get on this path, too.

Motivation

The key is finding your goals. Without knowing what you want, you won’t feel motivated and you won’t have any reason to study for that extra hour, wake up earlier or go jogging even though the weather is horrible.

Find a big goal you have in life. I like to call this my global goal since it includes all the other ones and it’s also the direct result of my self-discipline. This can also be very abstract, perhaps kind of a mantra that will accompany you every day. Mine is very basic, simple, but it works - be better. Again, it’s abstract, but it houses all aspects of my life and my other goals, which I call ---

Support goals. These are one level under your global goal. The idea is, that they are concrete but lie somewhere in the future. These are the ones you are working towards on the day to day basis. Examples for them can be your dream profession, your desired GPA, sports milestone, etc.

Stepping stones goals. Finally, we are at the lowest level. These goals are your stepping stones to achieve what you set out for yourself. You have to make them very concrete, this includes planning and maybe even some numbers. For example, setting a goal of going for a run 5 times a week, waking up at 6 am or studying your target language every day for one hour.

What if you feel unmotivated or don’t see why you should do X?

Change your perspective. Let’s look at this through the lens of uni. This semester, I have to write a lot of essays and hold presentations. I hate doing presentations, BUT on a deeper level, I know it will help me move towards my support goals. So, flip your perspective and see X (whatever you don’t feel like doing) as an opportunity to grow, challenge yourself or better yourself.

This is your life and it’s about you!

Prioritize yourself. A lot of people won’t understand why you are doing what you are doing and that’s okay. It matters to you and that’s the most important thing. A lot of people will want to distract you, laugh at you for studying rather than partying and that’s fine too. At the end of the day, what matters the most is your achievement, not the opinion of others. I love this quote and have it everywhere: “Decide what kind of life you actually want. the say NO to everything else that isn't that.” 

What you do for yourself counts the most. To illustrate this, let!s look at student life again. In your B.A./M.A./whatever, everyone has the same opportunities - everyone goes to the same lectures, seminars, tutorials. But what matters is if you do the extra work that will make you better than average. Turn up to the lectures even if you don’t want to, read the books, study for that extra hour, go to office hours. This could go on forever and applies to everything, not just uni. You just have to find the ways.

It’s a choice. At the end of the day, what you do and don’t do is your conscious choice. I could wake up at 8 am every morning and nothing would happen, no one would notice except for me. I could listen to songs instead of a Spanish podcast while getting ready. I could stay in bed when it’s miserable outside and not go running. But I don’t. I choose not to. I actively choose the “harder” path, the challenging one, the one that will help me be better.

How do I get going?

Have a plan. Plan plan plan! Get out your planner/bullet journal/google calendar and plan out your days, weeks, months. Write out all that you want to achieve and how you plan to achieve it. Create deadlines for yourself and hold onto them. I have a 5-year plan, yearly, monthly and weekly goal list.

Create a list of non-negotiables. This applies to your week/month/year. For every day, I have some non-negotiable activities that I HAVE to do - the more you do these, the more unconscious it will be and these will become habits. (I recommend reading some books about habits, I loved James Clear’s Atomic Habits.)

Habit tracker. The most effective way how you can observe and create habits is with a habit tracker. Sometimes the only thing that will motivate me to do X is the thought of another dot in my bullet journal. But I guess you all know about habit trackers!

And some final thoughts:

Observe what the particular activity/habit/etc. does for you. Does it help you? How does it help you? Are you moving towards your goals? At which pace? How can you optimize it?

Not everything is for everyone! Don’t try to fit yourself into someone else’s habits, routines or goals. (If you are a night owl, don’t force yourself to wake up at 6 am because it’s popular!) Make this your own process. This includes some deep learning and figuring stuff out. But that’s okay. Everyone has their own path, pace and we are all very different, constantly evolving and learning. Your goals will evolve with you. 

DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. You can have an accountability partner so you can motivate each other. I advise you to surround yourself with like-minded people. But DO NOT compare your results to someone else's. You are you and that is your power.

[sevenfactorial]

Conveniently, I did take a screen shot bc the whole ask wasn’t appearing while I was I was typing which I found displeasing.

I had a bit more math exposure than most people in high school. I was able to go through multivar calc and diff eqs my last year (less intense but still closely following typical university curriculum, in particular, the local university’s which is where I’m at now) and had some proof exposure from doing math competitions. I also didn’t plunge straight into math since I started as a CS major/math minor (multivar first semester, discrete math for cs majors second, both of which definitely were not easy for me even if they went well in the end). The amount of math I took at a time rather steadily increased from there so I never had like, a shock sort of moment which was kind of more luck than anything else.

Just about everyone who does math says it’s very hard. I think that anyone who says it’s easy hasn’t been sufficiently challenged. For one of my friends, it took him going to a top grad program to be sufficiently challenged but most people get it plenty quickly in undergrad. I never had a particularly bad shock but I am definitely of the opinion that Math Is Hard and Absurd but I’m doing it anyways. So you’re far from alone and there are Real Life Mathematicians in my sample so clearly it doesn’t keep you from success.

Basically, I don’t think finding math much harder now than in high school is a reason to quit. Persistence is actually a huge factor of success at research math especially, just as much or more than natural ability. My success in classes and research is less reliant on my natural intuition (what the fuck is natural intuition about higher dim abstract objects anyways? I’m kinda concern if you have any tbh) and more on the fact that I’m willing to work on a problem for 4+ hrs.

That said, if you have been studying a lot but still are having trouble, then yes, trying out new strategies is important.

These are mostly general enough that they can probably apply to whatever class, whether more intro or intermediate and whatever field but I can’t guarantee it. I’m mostly thinking intro-to-upper-level-stuff like linear alg or odes and beginning upper-level undergrad like intro to abstract alg or adv calc.

The obvious, typical, but really useful advice is talk to people. Your professor/TA is a good place to start but talking to other people as well might be a good idea. So this includes classmates, older students, other faculty. I find collaborating with peers extremely important to my understanding because you can help each other find problems and fix them. Getting help from other people can also be useful because they’ll probably explains things a bit differently than your professor and maybe a different explanation will click much better for you. Like I could not understand finite fields and their notation for over two weeks despite the constant lectures until one of my friends (actually a classmate at the time but he had previous experience) explained it to me differently while we were doing homework.

When you’re studying, sometimes its a good idea to make sure you’re not getting too caught up on details. They are important (for some fields more than others, I’m not sure this advice works for analysis for one) but if you don’t understand the more general idea of a concept or the general structure of a proof, knowing the details probably won’t help that much either (a vague answer is usually enough for partial credit too). I focus on definitions, theorems, and common proof structures (if multiple proofs during a unit feel similar, you probably want to know how it works).

Usually, when I just don’t understand something despite trying multiple times, I will go through the def/theorem/proof/example/whatever very slowly while writing down just everything. Basically my internal monologue as I think through it. I find this very frequently helps me untangle things, at least enough that now I can go to someone and be like, I have a question instead of just, I don’t get this at all. I don’t think this would work for everyone but it’s worth giving a shot.

Some less-solely-academic advice is make sure you have a support network. Multiple preferably. One in your department is the most important in my opinion. I don’t know how I would have fared without other students to commiserate with and faculty to give advice (I’d probably still be a cs double major bc the support I got in the math department was a big draw for me). One of my friends (a MA major at a different uni) isn’t involved in her math department and I do know of a lot of majors I have class with but never really see otherwise but the support has seriously been helpful. Of course, mathblr is also filled with great people and I love it too though it’s definitely different from having something irl. Having friends and family outside math is also important bc it’s probably not healthy to be mired in math 100% of the time.

Another thing is possibly consider getting checked for any mental or emotional things. Obviously I have no clue what your situation is but sometimes it is really tricky to identify genuine problems when you’ve been facing them your entire life but if you can address it, it might have a really big impact. In general, take care of your mental and emotional health. A crisis is most certainly not gonna help anything.

[saltyslack-toast]

How I deal with my puberty

“Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet. They are treated like children and expected to act like adults”  – Anonymus.

Facing the ‘youth age’ seems to be very interesting for most of the pre-teen age kids, they thought it will be filled with good memories, cool friends, hangouts, parties, and probably some of charming boyfriends. Well for some of kids, teenage phase is the way it is, they called it for a ‘stupid phase of life’ because they have been through all those reckless and dumb things yet so exciting and memorable events at the same time, but for me teenage life is probably the most broken phase of life.

Start in my early teenage which was in the 5th grade of my elementary, I started having a crush with my one year older senior. Everything was went smooth, I used to have a lot of guts to actually approach him and surprisingly he responded it very well, I’m gonna count that shit as my real first love (since I already have a crush to boys since I was in kindergarten). He was soon graduated and I CRIED SO MUCH, I don’t even understand why would I cried so much back then, but it is kinda sad because that was the first time a boy actually like me back lol and also bc me and him not gonna be in the same school again because he decided to continue his education in Islamic boarding school which was so far away from the area we lived and obviously school which my parents not gonna approves me to go to. Last year of my elementary was the first time I got period, the changes all over my body was so appalling, my voice was getting more shrill and my breast swelling so much i started used a fucking mini-bra that has a cute character printed in it. Also, this stage filled with academics stuff to prepare the junior high school and fighting with my own teacher (she was terrorizing me through anon messages, dude not gonna lie but that shit is scared me as fuck) because…. That’s a fucking long-ass story I’m going to tell you a whole complete story on different page. I got a very terrific result for my academic stuff but I also start to received a lot of bullies from the boys in school, well that was poor but I still have a very good girl pals in school that always accompany me until I managed to graduate elementary school with a very keen grade and also knowledge that my body is changed A LOT.

My middle school life would probably the darkest stage of my life, I did enter one of favorite school in Bandung which I wanted to, but I’m not as happy as I thought to be. I’m amazed with all the bewitching seniors and that’s quite tempted me to have another activity outside the academic stuff which I hoped I could get close with the seniors and try my luck to actually dating with one of them (I was so obsessed to approach to the seniors because dude just admit it, u need that RECOGNITION to survived a new phase of school life, especially when u had a popular life back in previous school stage), but I joined a fucking scouting which was the most unpopular extracurricular activities in school (Pffffttt……….). The first year was quite so so, and up to the next years I really gulping a lot of bullies from the boys (again) more than I received my whole life that was so awful I even got scared just to attend the school. At this point, my level of confidence just dropped so bad until it penetrated the last form of earth soil, I was so insecure, I can barely made any eye contact with people, since then I became more closed to people, I was so scared for getting rejection, bad and all the harsh word from people I met. And for the record, I still remember all of their names, I’M NOT GONNA TO FORGET ALL OF U BITCH, U’VE RUINED MY LIFE.

Due to all the bullies I seized, I’m not maximizing my potential and have to accept the fact that I didn’t went to the high school I wanted so bad (which was the number one in Bandung, perhaps in Indo as well), instead, I have to go the high school (still one of the most-favorited high school in B-town though) that is filled with the most popular peeps in Bandung and known for the superiority of the all the seniors there, CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE THAT? A girl who was traumatized so bad, scared of might get bullies since she’s not as beautiful, popular, rich or even attractive as most of the other girls in school. I was crying so bad to accept that difficult truth that I might got bullied again. But hey, there’s always a rainbow after the storm, turns out I did quite well in high school, I joined the student council and got so many good friends and capable of having group of girls squad (eventhough I always be the duff) and more active in non-academic stuff that lead me to a very bad grade result.

The relationship with my family is not went so smooth at all, I used to buried all my problems deep down on myself alone, and the result is no good. I was overly sensitive and got upset and explode VERY EASILY. My family doesn’t help at all, they also blame me for anything, made me hate myself more. I need to run away from this situation, I need to shed my resentment over something, AND THAT’S THE BEGINNING. I started to slashed my fingers with a cutter, not really bad, just until I saw blood drops over my fingers. But then the problem got more serious, I am addicted, after I had through a big fight with my family I start cutting up all over my hands, the blood is overwhelming (yet, I still had the time for doing the documentation, but obviously I’m not gonna post it in here anw, or maybe I will, ofcourse with a proper sensor), even when my sister have taken away all the cutters, I still use my nails to scratching my skin harshly until it get bleed terribly and left a very bad scars on my hands until now.

I failed academic stuff in high school miserably, and had to be genuinely accept the reality that I have to go to not-so-favorited-private uni in Cimahi, I took International Relations because that is the only major that is accredited with an A, lol but yeah my sister realized that I like to talk politics a lot and I’m not so bad in English (kinda true, nah still sucks). And yeah until now I just currently finished the 3rd semester very well. I got a very good grades (Probably because I regret my academic stuff so much in high school) and hoping that nice event will come up to me. My goals right now is to graduate college as soon and as perfect grades as possible, and got a very good job soon after I graduate, Oh God I want… No, I really need that things so bad.

Now I am 20 on April this year, so much things has happened in my teenage life but most of all is not that impressive because I came to be more ignorant(?), but geez I grew up doesn’t care about people, they are all so mean and cruel. But at the same time, people are so interesting to learn, including yourself. Teenage phase could be so difficult for some of you (just like me, or perhaps worse), but chillax that shit will over soon if you able to learn about yourself, finds out about anything you like and don’t, stop hearing all those shit opinion about you, what matter most is what makes you happy, focused on it and leave all the bad and negativity behind, and TRUST ME you’re gonna get over your hard-teenage-life phase soon! And if you were angry to your parents (I’m pretty sure that fight with parents happens all the time in everyone’s teenage life), take a deep breath and thinking something funny in your head, after u have control all the madness inside yourself, get over your parents nicely because that shit will never get over if you were just as emotional as them.

The more you grown up the more you understood about people around you, there are people that is fake, people that is actually care about you, and other types of people out there. Puberty might be shocking for some of you, you finds a lot of changes both in your physical and mental conditions, no need to be worry about that, is normal and very understandable. The passion for being ‘seen’ would be very strong, it would be good for you to use this ambition to achieve many great things in life but don’t forget to take care yourself and those people who care about you.

“Tough time never last, but tough people will do” – Robert H. Schuller

So yeah, that was the end of this boring and so weird writing of mine. I am so sorry if this shit was that bad and also the grammar errors that is whack (even though no one probably read it lol), this was my first experience to actually writing and posted in on any platform online, hoped my writing will get better next time!

Xiao!

[gardeniaresilia-archive]

Thanks for the reply! I’m planning on studying art in college so I’ve been asking people about their experiences. Have you done many traditional art/graphic design classes yet? What kind of classes have you taken? Do you enjoy the way art classes are in college? Sorry if I’m bugging you or asking too many questions

No, no! You’re fine! I’m gonna put this under a read-more because this is super lengthy (don’t worry I put a TLDR at the end to spare you). And...my university is not an “Art School”, it’s a US State-Ordained-University with Liberal Education and all that shiny extra stuff that just happens to have a Bachelor-in-Fine-Arts program.

***I should start this by putting a disclaimer that these are just experiences I’ve had that are exclusive to me and my time at my specific school, and that this (hopefully) isn’t the experience around the globe.***

At my school, the Art program is super underfunded. In the entirety of the Bachelor of Fine-Arts (to be referred to as BFA) before being divided down into the emphasis studies, there’s 120 of us, and half of those students are pursuing Graphic Design, including myself. A measly 10 students of that 120 are pursuing Art Education.

To get in to the program at my uni, you need to finish some prerequisite courses then do the “Post-Foundation Portfolio Review”, where you submit twelve works, six of which were from these courses and six more that you’ve done during your time at college (high school work is not allowed), as well as a sketch book. You hang up the works on a wall, and you have a talk with two professors in the program about your work, what you wanna do with your time in the program you choose, your interests in the field, etc. Make sure to study some terms and be able to answer questions using art terms (you’re allowed cheat-sheet notecards and they have a pamphlet available beforehand so you’re prepared). I’ll leave this at this for now, but if you have deeper detail questions about my specific experience doing this feel free to ask!

To put it into perspective, we had two Graphic Design professors for 60 students, but one just took an Administrative position as of this past spring and can only do one class/semester starting this fall. However, between the two, a lot of people disliked him so it’s not a huge loss to the students in terms of personality. He was a stickler and it was his way or the highway in terms of grades so...nyeh. It’s just unfortunate because the other Professor is a kind soul who doesn’t deserve potentially putting on the full classloads every semester, and I don’t know if we’re getting another professor.

Anyway, my school has the following emphases/focuses under the BFA: Art Education, 2D Studio, 3D Studio, Graphic Design, and it used to have Interdisciplinary Arts (AKA “other”), but that didn’t have enough interest so that went away, but they still offer the oddball classes like Animation (which I’m taking this fall!!) and 3D-Printing.

To sum each Emphasis:

Art Ed is exactly how it sounds. Learn to be an Art Teacher, learn crafts to do with kids, learn how to make lesson plans.

2D Studio is your traditional media that includes Drawing (which charcoal... personally bleugh), Painting, Printmaking, Figure Drawing, etc.

3D Studio is the Pottery and...whatever else those funky 3D Studio people do. They’re all cool people though.

Graphic Design, my area of study, is things like Typography, Package Design, Logo Design, Photography, etc. That’s almost entirely on a computer and making a printed finished product.

As a BFA at my uni, you’re required to take some history classes, and if you’re not an Art History Major/Minor (which doesn’t fall under the BFA I think) you’d have to take classes from the other focuses to make you, and I quote “a more well-rounded student”. Which, for me I don’t mind. I like drawing, and I can get headaches from working on my devices all day. Therefor, staring at paper absentmindedly laying down hues and shades can be really cathartic and good rest from those harmful blue lights and whatever. I’m also not required to take a language because the BFA credit load is massive compared to a lot of the other non-fine-art or art-related Majors.

To get down into my studies even farther, we’re required to take classes around Typography and doing letterwork type things, as well as classes just titled “Graphic Design I/II/III” which is just doing random graphic projects. Some of these have included making paper booklets, posters, decorative-yet-working UPC/barcodes, etc., and I’m moving into the higher levels, which means I can kinda take what I want. In it’s higher levels, my university offers Package Design, Company Identity/Branding (IE creating your own brand 101), and a few other ones. 

Critiques I’ve had with my Graphic Design classes include putting up proofs on the wall to talk about, then open floor with the rest of the class and Professor to talk about and give advice. Then when the final is due, you generally mount it and submit your process book (a binder that you keep all semester with all your WIPS/proofs and studies and inspirations from all the projects), put it up on the wall again, talk about it sometimes, then turn the mounted project in and move on to the next thing. There isn’t much actual homework other than the projects themselves and the prep assigned with it, but some professors assign extra busywork, some don’t. Critiques aren’t also super formal either.

My traditional art classes range from working with charcoal to working with ink, paint, whatever else. You can either be working on a flat table at times or with an easel, and the projects can be either really specific or really random. I’ve really only taken drawing-oriented classes up until this point, and I have a love-hate relationship with most of my professors. They know what they like and know what they don’t, and they generally dislike the “anime” artstyle. I’ve developed a slightly more cartoony looking style for when I am allowed to not try to do realism. Realism and still-lives are going to be a prevalent thing. Especially in the lower level classes. From what I understand you can get jiggy with it in higher classes kind of, but I don’t know.

Critiques include putting up only the final, talking about the process and using art terms and trying to sound smart, and then open forum discussion about the piece. It’s not suuuper formal, but still.

Last but not least! Make friends! Because friends can help critique your work before formal critiques, help make your processes look good in the “formal” critiques by saying “yeah I watched them do this, it was super cool seeing it go from sketch to this!”, and plus you get into this hilarious relationship of going to art stores together and buying each other cute art supplies and paper for projects and it’s a good time.

TLDR; my school has my program severely underfunded, Professors are all generally also real artists pursuing jobs and freelancing outside of teaching, be ready to bow down to what your Professors want to get a good grade, and generally don’t draw in an anime-style. Also try to get good at faking being able to public speak because trust me, you’ll need it. And make friends, not enemies because these people will be your connections as well as people you’ll see a lot.

Aaaaaaaand yeah! Sorry this is super long! If you have any specific questions about experiences (I’ve had lots of good and bad times in my two years at uni so far) and stuff like that feel free to drop another ask!! I love asks!!!