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corkinavoid · 2 months ago

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DPxDC Hit The Gas

[Written to 'Renegade (We Never Run)' from Arcane]

Technically speaking, Mr. Masters, Gotham's new aspiring crime lord, did provide them with a getaway car. It's just that, in Tim's honest, objective opinion, said car sucks major ass.

First of all, it's white, which is, well, not the best color for disappearing into the night. Then, it's old — not vintage old, thank fuck, but definitely made before 2005 — and long overdue for a makeover. Tim doesn't see a single part of it that doesn't have a scratch or a dent on it, and are those bullet holes on the passenger door?

Eh, whatever, this is a staged escape anyway. Tim doesn't need it to be successful, he only needs an alibi. Someone — their driver, in this case — to later tell Masters that Alvin Draper did everything he could to keep the package safe. So he can stay in the man's moderately good graces even after they get caught by Batman tonight.

Tim makes it to the car first, throws the back door open and slides inside in one motion, slamming it behind him. Jason, the drama queen, jumps in through the open window and into the front passenger seat.

"Hit the gas, they are on our heels!" He yells at the driver, struggling to turn himself over and put his ass in the seat. Serves him right, opening the door and getting in the normal way would have taken literally two seconds.

The car jolts into movement without a moment of hesitation — so at least the driver has a good reaction time — but Tim still hears a dull sound of a betarang hitting the rear end of it. Nice throw, Cass!

It's only then that he cares to actually look around and realize a few things. A few, arguably, very important things. Like the fact that their driver is a redhead girl who looks barely sixteen. Or that there are two kids, looking no older than ten, in the back seat beside him.

He blinks and stares. The kids — both boys, one of them white as milk with a dark mop of hair and the other one black, wearing glasses and a red beanie — pay no mind to either him, Jason in the front seat, or the speed the car is going at. In fact, they pay no attention to the outside world as a whole, hunched over an outdated PSP. They are playing it together, one of the kids in charge of action buttons and the other one controlling the D-pad, so Tim can understand the need to focus: it takes some impressive teamwork to sucessfully go through the game like that. And they are using some complicated combos while at it, wow.

Wait, no, this is such a wrong time to marvel at videogame skills! They are kids, in a car, in a getaway car, in the middle of a car chase with the fucking Batman!

They take a sharp turn, and Tim grabs onto the handle in order to not bump into the door.

"Oh, you didn't tell me we're racing with the Batmobile," the redhead girl says, but it sounds surprisingly nice and polite, like she's merely asking about the weather.

"Yeah, well, we didn't expect that kind of trouble either," Jason snaps back, scrunching his nose, but the girl just laughs softly.

"No, don't worry. It's no trouble," she assures almost gently, and then reaches one hand behind the seat without looking, tapping the black boy on the knee, "Tucker, sweetheart, switch with me?"

Hold on, what?..

"But Ja-a-azz," the white boy whines.

"We've just got to the boss fight," Tucker pouts, but the redhead just taps his knee more insistently.

"And I'm sure you'll get to it again after we make it out," she says, still perfectly polite and collected. Tim glances out the window. Either this girl has nerves of steel or there's something very wrong with both her and the kids; they are going at least 95 mph, and she keeps only one hand on the wheel like it's nothing.

"Ugh, fine," the kid rolls his eyes and nudges his friend in the shoulder, passing him the console, "Save it, I'll get the cord."

"What cord?" Tim asks because he thought this was a simple undercover mission, but now he gets a sneaking suspicion there's a lot more to it than it looked.

Tucker, with one hand under the driver's seat and searching for something blindly, turns to glare at him.

"The control-cord," he answers like the dumb one here is Tim, "How else do you think- A-ha!" His face lights up as he emerges victorious from under the seat, holding... Yeah, a cord, okay. Which he plugs into the PSP that the other boy hands him without prompting.

"Maybe fasten your seat belts, this is about to get interesting," Jazz offers, but doesn't do so herself. Neither of the kids do it either, and Jason just snorts dismissively.

"You're saying it wasn't 'interesting' before?" There's definitely some teasing in his voice. Tim looks down to the package in his lap, a metal box holding some unknown but evidently very important content.

He fastens his seat belt just in time. The car jerks and speeds up — they are definitely past 110 now. And Jazz is not holding the wheel.

It only takes a moment for Tim to connect the dots and look to the PSP in Tucker's hands. Sure enough, instead of a game, his screen is now a perfect replica of the car's windshield in real time, and his fingers are firmly placed on controls. Like he's done it hundreds of times.

They are racing the Batmobile, and a ten-year-old is driving. This mission is fucking wild.

"Brakes, brakes, BRAKES!" Jason yells from the front, and Tim only gets a moment to notice the quickly approaching back of a truck in front of them and realize they are going to crash before their car just goes through it with no resistance. He even looks in the back window to make sure he didn't hallucinate the truck, but no, it's still there and still real.

Did they... Phase through it?..

"What the fuck," he mutters under his breath.

"Language, there are kids in the car," Jazz chides him with a huff of laughter, and then there's a click.

"What the f- fudge," Jason repeats the question, albeit much louder and way more alarmed than Tim before.

When he turns back around, the redhead is holding a grenade launcher. It doesn't look like a model Tim is familiar with, but it's for some reason painted white, just like their car. Is that some kind of Masters' thing?

Wait, that's a grenade launcher.

Jazz ties her hair in the back in less than two seconds and then reaches up to the roof of the car, pressing a button to open the sunroof.

"Wait, you can't shoot a vigilante, they'll-" Tim yells over the wind, but Jazz just smiles at him and stands up on the driver's seat, peeking out and taking position. Tim throws a panicked look at Jason — they sure didn't plan for anything like this. The car chase was supposed to be over in less than a few minutes, none of them thought that Masters, a fairly new figure in the Gotham underground, would have a kind of vehicle that can phase through things and drive at- at 150 mph through the city roads! Not to mention some strange fucking kids and a teenage with grenades!

"She won't kill anyone," a voice comes from Tim's side, and when he turns his head, he finds the other kid, the one he doesn't know the name of, looking at him, his eyes calm and unblinking. And slightly glowing, okay, and here he was, thinking this clusterfuck of a ride can't get any weirder.

"How do you know?" Tim snaps because there's only so much he can deal with at once in the span of five minutes. The kid shrugs.

"It's Jazz. She has morals," he says, like the word disgusts him, and Tucker huffs a laugh.

"You have them, too. Vlad and Dan killed people before, though," he argues, his eyes still glued to the screen of the PSP.

"Not in Gotham," his friend adds, seemingly just for the sake of having the last word in the argument.

Whatever Tim wants to say back gets cut off by a sound of a gunshot. He turns to the back window again, his heart stuck in his throat, but it looks like the white kid was right: the roaring Batmobile is still on their heels. Whatever the redhead tried to do, she missed.

"Danny, on three!" Jazz yells from above, and the kid springs to action like he's been waiting for this moment his whole life.

"One!"

Tucker moves out of the way as Danny climbs over him and towards Tim, unceremoniously shoves the precious metal box away and all but falls into Tim's lap despite his loud yet wordless sounds of protest.

"Two!"

The boy yanks the latch and throws the door open, leaning down while still sprawled over Tim's knees, and Tim grabs the back of his shirt out of reflex. It doesn't matter that the whole thing is a disaster, he's not letting a ten-year-old fall out of the car on his watch.

"Three!"

There's a loud pop somewhere behind them, and the car suddenly turns and drifts sideways, the sound of skidding tires grating on Tim's ears. Yet, he still feels Danny move and sees him reach and touch the ground. There's a short moment of panic — at this kind of speed, the pavement will shave the skin off the boy's hands in seconds — but then there's a shimmer of white bursting from Danny's palms.

When Tim looks up, the road behind them is covered in ice, the smooth surface of it shining in the yellow light of streetlamps. And, a bit further, there's a thick layer of smoke that should definitely hide them from the view of pursuers.

Smoke grenades. And ice powers. That explains the glowing eyes, Danny must be a meta.

The car shifts again, changing directions, and Tim, almost like in slow-mo, sees the metal box that they've gone to such great lengths to steal, slide towards the open door and tip over the edge.

He is still holding Danny's shirt, and the boy is still hanging halfway out of the car.

The seat belt is pressing tightly into his chest.

The box falls out, and Tim shuts his eyes close. Fuck it, he can fail the mission, it's not the end of the world, Jason can still try and weasel his way into Masters' close circle, and Bruce would understand if Tim explains why quickly enough, it's okay, no big deal-

"Gotcha!" Danny yells cheerfully as the car makes a sharp turn and comes to a halt all of a sudden.

Tim opens his eyes.

Danny, a wide, wicked grin on his face, is holding the box in his hands.

"You're a little shit," Tim breathes out, and the boy laughs, wiggling on Tim's lap and trying to get back inside the car.

"Born and raised," he answers with such a shit-eating expression on his face that Tim doesn't even bother holding back his urge for petty revenge. He releases his death grip on the back of Danny's shirt and gleefully watches the brat lose his balance and faceplant the ground.

The 'quick' undercover mission is sure getting an extension, but somehow, he can't bring himself to feel bad about the fact.

#danny phantom #dpxdc #dc x dp #tim drake #batman #jason todd #jasmine fenton #tucker foley #de aged danny #de aged tucker #crime lord vlad #car chase #wow this turned out long #cork prompts #btw that box was empty #it was a test from vlad the grandmastermind #feel free to add on #i didnt come up with anything except this #but hey theres anger management potential!

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cheapshrimpysheep · 5 months ago

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What if They were Dads?

SUMMARY: Headcanons of what I think they would be like as fathers to your child. And what if his dormmates were like honorary uncles to the child?

CHARACTERS: OB Students (Riddle Rosehearts / Leona Kingscholar / Azul Ashengrotto / Jamil Viper / Vil Schoenheit / Idia Shroud / Malleus Draconia)

TAGS: Headcanon; Fem!Reader (AFAB) (I never really know what tags to use but I hope you know what I mean)

WORD COUNT: An average of 690 words per character.

COMMENTS: I would have liked to have made a headcanon about the relationship with the boys' parents and siblings, but since we don't know them that well or at all on the Eng Server like Vil's father, I think I'll leave that for a possible post that complements this one. If you want.

Since I didn't want each character to have a big chunk of text, I put them as paragraphs instead of bullet points.

I hope you enjoy 🩵

CONTEXT: This was written with a cisgender female reader in mind. Reader is Yuu. But if you want (and can) read it in any other way, feel free to.

By the way, this is one of those moments when I wish English had a second person plural, instead of the singular and plural being the same. Whenever I write “your child” I mean it in the plural (you, the reader, and his)

Riddle’s child(ren) call him: Father

Riddle has the same demands and standards for his child that he has for himself. But he doesn't want to make the same mistakes as his mother, so in comparison he can be more permissive. Because of this he will ALWAYS listen to you if you tell him he is being too harsh.

In terms of studies, etiquette and behaviour he is quite strict as you would expect. But when it comes to play he lets his child do almost anything they want.

He doesn't know how to play with his child, but he will always make an effort to learn how to and do it with them. He almost seems to regress to the childhood he never had and wants to give to his child. Whenever the child learns a new game, they will show it and teach it to Riddle and he will be delighted with it.

Although he is strict, he is also relatively protective, especially if your child is a girl. He tries not to be overly protective, but he can't help but worry about your child. If there was a right way to raise a child, is he doing his job well enough? You will have several conversations at first to reassure him that he is doing a good job.

He will study any and all parenting books that experts in child behaviour and education recommend. This kind of knowledge is never too much. Which often leads you to try to convince him to relax and just trust his instincts and what he feels is right. The child is his, not all those authors and experts. Sometimes there are things that a parent simply knows.

Lawful and calm Uncle Trey. They love uncle Trey's sweets! Sometimes Riddle asks him if he's not giving them too much sweets and Trey always assures him that it's okay because he knows how to make healthier sweets and the limit for a child to eat. If they weren't already Riddle's child, the whole thing about always brushing their teeth could be scary.

Chaotic Uncle Che'nya. The crazy and fun Uncle! Your child and Che'nya join forces (maybe even with you) to play pranks on Riddle. Never anything that could get the child into trouble with their father, just enough for everyone, Riddle included, to have fun.

Uncle Ace and Uncle Deuce are more from your side than Riddle's honestly. Ace is a bit like Che'nya in the case of being one of the chaotic pranksters uncles. But he is also the uncle of magic tricks who is always deceiving, but also entertaining your child with them.

Deuce is the rad uncle with a cool moto and/or even cooler blastcycle, who offers to take your child for a ride in it with him. Your child also finds it funny to see the two of them arguing amicably. But it’s even funnier to see them imitating their father trying to order them to stop arguing.

Uncle Cater doesn't show up very often, but they like him. He's not chaotic like Ace and Che'nya, but he's also fun. Your child enjoys receiving compliments from him and taking pictures with him.

Your child imitates their father scolding Grim too. Just like Riddle (and probably because they're still little) they have a very bad temper. Riddle gets embarrassed whenever you say that someone takes after their father.

Leona’s child(ren) call him: Dad

Leona still doesn't like kids... your child(ren) is/are just an exception.

Yes, Leona would treat a daughter slightly differently than he would treat a son. In the same way that he treats men and women a little differently. But the only difference is that he would be tougher on a son than a daughter, but will still be affectionate regardless.

No matter what gender his child is, he wants the same for them: be strong both physically and mentally. To outsiders like some servants or citizens who don't know him, they may get to the point of thinking Leona is a harsh father who doesn't deserve all that love from his child, and he will tell both you and your child not to mind that. But the truth is that he is just like he was with you at school: a tough guy who hides a caring heart.

Leona continues to show himself to be a person who doesn't want anyone to upset him and who would growl at anyone who bothers him. The only people who can get close to him even when he's angry and remain safe and sound are you and your child. He'll still growl at you and your child quietly, but there will be a volume that is the line, like if his growl is louder than that limit it's because he's getting really angry, until then it's just him being him.

Your child will already have the best private teachers and tutors (one of them being Kifaji/Neji if he’s still alive), but even so, Leona will want to make them study and learn more. But in that discreet way that he knows. He will not force them to study more, he will find a way to convince them to want to learn more on their own.

You end up being the most affectionate parent and the one they trust for emotional comfort. Leona is the tough love, you are the soft love (at least in comparison). Leona will always tease you, insinuating that you are too soft and only spoil your child. Although he enjoys when you spoil him too.

He is 100% the ‘Go ask your mom’ kind of dad.

He lets his child take naps with him. And you too.

If he has more than one child, he will police himself not to favor any of them. He may have a tendency to favor the younger ones because of what he went through as the youngest himself, but none of his children will be treated in any special/different way based on their birth order. Neither the youngest nor the oldest.

He will try to convince his child not to be too close (emotionally) to their uncle or cousin, but won't stop them from playing with Cheka. When your child is old enough not to tell others what is said in your home, Leona and them will talk badly about Falena and Cheka behind their backs.

Leona will prefer your child to play with Ruggie and/or his children. On the one hand, he wants to keep them away from his family, but on the other hand, he also wants his child to know what the real world is like, to see both wealth and poverty, to know royalty as they knows their people and only then create their own judgement.

They don't call anyone uncle or aunt other than Falena and his wife. In the same way, Leona also doesn't give cute titles to anyone without being sarcastically. Even when he calls you “love”, “darling”, “honey” or something like that, it's to tease you.

Whenever you go to Shaftlands, whether for democratic reasons or on holiday, you always try to find a way to meet with Jack. Leona pretends that he only helps you with this because you want to see your friend and he wants to get rid of his family. Both you and Jack know that he just doesn't want to admit that he wants to see him too. Jack is the cool parent's friend who taught your child how to snowboard. While they are little they like to hug his tail because it’s fluffy.

Despite everything, he doesn't want his child to have the same lack of hope that he has, and despite trying to hide it, he always feels extremely guilty and bad whenever your child says something like that. At these times he relies on you to be the ray hope in that house, they will both need you for that.

Both Leona and your child are afraid of you when you get really serious or angry.

Do you know that scene from The Lion King where Mufasa uses Zazu to give Simba an pouncing lesson? Leona often does something similar, but instead of the target being a blue bird, it's a magical creature called Grim.

Azul’s child(ren) call him: Daddy (when little) Dad (when older)

Azul is an extremely emotional father, despite trying to hide it. There's going to be a lot of moments like: “HE/SHE IS THE CUTEST LITTLE THING IN THE WHOLE- *clears throat* I mean, he/she is such a charming little child.” He will most likely cry at your baby's first words, steps, anything.

Azul is overprotective! If any living creature even thinks about harming your child, he will tortu- that is, find a completely legal way to ensure that it never happens again. Now, if you'll excuse him, he suddenly felt like talking to Jade and Floyd. (The same protectiveness applies to you.)

Although he is very (secretly) emotional and loves to spoil his child, he is also relatively strict about their studies. He likes to spoil them (and you) when it's deserved, but he will not raise a spoiled child! This ends up balancing things out a bit.

He will hide the whole mafia-like part of his life from his child. Dad is just doing business, boring adult stuff. Maybe when your child is older he will start to reveal a little of that side of his life, if they later want to join their father it will be their choice. But until then, let them be innocent children, they are cuter and happier that way, there is time for everything.

He will always hold back his emotional side so as not to be overly affectionate. Unless his child starts crying. At that point his mask falls completely and he becomes the most affectionate and comforting father there can be, that is his weakness.

And if one day the child realizes this and starts using crying to get what they want from him, he won't know whether to be angry that he is being emotionally manipulated by his own child, or proud that they learned so quickly.

You will be the only one immune to the fake crying.

From the beginning, Azul has been wary and suspicious of letting Jade and Floyd be like uncles to your child. However, you two ended up letting this happen, but Azul will always keep an eye open.

Both Jade and Floyd will definitely use the child to play pranks on Azul. Mostly Floyd, Jade prefers to watch and assist. Azul will always be upset with the twins, never with his child. And depending on the severity of the prank, he will turn on his overprotective side and threaten Jade and Floyd that if that happens again they will never see your child again. They never go beyond that limit.

Every now and then when Floyd plays with your child, he will do that joke where he playfully tells them he's going to catch them and bite them. Actually in his playful voice, he doesn't want to scare them. And they will run to Azul and hide behind his legs asking for help while laughing. Or tentacles if they are in their merfolk form.

If you ask them Jade is the scary uncle (only sometimes) but they themselves don't even know why. It's just his vibe or something. However, they are not afraid to ask any of them for something, it being to play or for help.

You know those little plastic cashiers where kids pretend to have a little shop and try to sell things to people at home? Usually parents or sibling. Azul loves to play this with his child because it is a great and fun way to pass on his knowledge. Both about sales and about taking care of your money. Usually using the Grim as a guinea pig. Grim also likes to play because he always ends up with food in exchange for toy money.

Jamil’s child(ren) call him: Dad (in informal moments) and Father (at formal events)

Jamil needed to learn to express himself more and better emotionally so as not to end up being a cold father without meaning to. He needs your help to teach your child when to hold back and when to know when they are in a safe space to let go.

The only thing that will follow Jamil forever is an inevitable feeling of guilt for your child having the same fate as him, simply for being his child: serving the Al-Asim family with no other choice. But you can be assured that if there is a way to stop this and give his child freedom of choice, whatever that method may be, he will not give up until he finds it and do it! Normally parents want to give their children what they always wanted and could never have, in Jamil's case it’s freedom.

There was something Jamil wanted to do, but he didn't have the courage to ask the Al-Asim for some kind of vacation. But you had! Using your great friendship with Kalim, you managed to get him to allow you to take a vacation long enough for you to travel as a family, as Jamil wanted. Jamil has always wanted to travel alone, but now with you and your child he would like to travel as a family and give his child the experiences he would have liked to have had himself.

He is quite demanding with his child's education and training. However, his attitude towards this is always calm and collected, and he is attentive to his child's limitations and needs. He is a great and responsible tutor, who knows how to distinguish between being a teacher and being a father.

He is usually quite serious, so you and your child are the ones who start messing with him to have fun and make him laugh. It's always nice when he reminds you two that he can also be a tease. Normal or biggest target of your joint teasing ends up being Grim at some point.

During his work as Kalim's servant, Jamil always had to cook a lot and he's not that big a fan of cooking, so so he can rest at home you're the one who cooks most of the time. He will teach you everything you want to learn and at first you will cook together a lot until you feel comfortable cooking alone. But even then he will continue to offer to help you. Your child will continue to say that Jamil's food is tastier, but yours is prettier. And the food you make together is the best because it’s tasty and pretty. Jamil will also encourage his child to cook with you two so that they can learn from a young age.

His child knows that there is only one thing in this world that can make their father scream in fear: Bugs! If your child is also afraid of insects, you're screwed, because you will be the insect killer in that house. However, if it is just the two of them, Jamil's protective instinct will be stronger and despite his fear he will protect his child. If your child is not afraid of insects, then Jamil will have two protectors. “Can you do dad a favor?”; “Where is it?”; “Living room, south wall last time I saw.”; “Does it fly?”; “...Yes.”

Kalim will treat your child almost like one of his own children, for loving you both so much. He got emotional when he found out you were pregnant, he wanted to help pay for your doctor's appointments if necessary (never was), and he got emotional again when your child was born. He loves buying toys for your child too and give them gifts. He would love for Jamil to let them call him Uncle Kalim. And he loves it when your kids play together.

Vil’s child(ren) call him: Father

Vil wants to have a family that is at its best as he likes to be at his best himself. He wants you and your child to be as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside, just as he strives to be as well. However, he would treat a daughter slightly differently than a son because of the different pressures of societal beauty standards.

With a son he would be as strict with him as he is with himself. But with a daughter, he knows she's more likely to suffer from these kinds of things. So although he continues to be relatively strict and wants her to be the best she can be, he ends up being softer with criticism and stronger with praise and soft love than he would be with a son.

He would hire a specialist, like as a child psychologist or something like that, to always know the best ways to rise and protect your child. Children of famous people like him, especially in the digital and social media age, may need more protection from their parents in this regard, in addition to the toxic pressure of comparison that exists. However, because Vil cares so much about your child's personal development as their happiness, he may end up putting enormous pressure on himself to be a perfect parent too.

Both Vil and your child will need you to be the person who brings them both back to the real world and the life of a loving family with flaws like any human being. Vil will always listen to you if you feel he may be being too harsh and demanding with your child, or with himself in terms of parenting.

If you are the type of person who likes to tease Vil by letting yourself be sloppy from time to time, (always at home) then your child will also like to tease their father like that. “You have your mother’s cheekiness, I see.” Vil sighs but laughs. The teasing includes eating sweets and food that Vil would not approve of. You are the parent they ask for things from and who best comforts and pampers them. You two probably team up to make Vil relax and have fun with you.

His child will have the best teachers and tutors, go to the best schools and best establishments for any extracurricular activity they want to have. Vil will probably force them to have an extracurricular activity but they will be free to choose which one.

Rook is OBSESSED with your child! In a respectful way of course, he is just already a huge fan. The result of combining your DNA with Vil's? MERVEILLEUX! He won't hold back the tears when he sees the baby for the first time. He will LOVE playing with your child. He will babysit for free and will be happy to do so if you ever need. It will be a long time before he stops getting so emotional whenever your child calls him "Uncle Rook."

Uncle Epel is the rad uncle, when Vil is not around. He is that person who will help your child do cool activities that Vil may not allow. Like taking a blastcycle ride with him, eat grilled meats, playing with things that make the child very dirty or other things that Vil didn't like Epel to do when they were at NRC. But if at least one parent allows it (you), then there is no problem. Right? All this, of course, when Vil is not around.

When he is there, both Epel and your child behave like little angels. You and Epel have to be very careful that the child doesn't get careless and say something in Epel's dialect in front of Vil. They love Uncle Epel because it is fun to do cool things without their father knowing and with your help.

Your child likes to use Grim as a doll to dress up in cute clothes. The funny thing is that Grim likes it too because your child eventually realizes that if they tell him he looks cool instead of cute, he'll let them keep dressing him up.

Idia’s child(ren) call him: Daddy (when little) Dad (when older)

Idia doesn't believe he can be a good father. A shut-it and antisocial otaku like him? Are you crazy? That's a disaster! He can't take care of himself, how is he going to help you raise a child? However, and especially with you, he also has that overly cocky side that believes that even being an antisocial nerd he would be 1000 times better than a lot of parents out there. So basically he has a tendency to oscillate between these two moods.

In comparison, you are the strict parent, he is the parent who spoils the child. They are both afraid of you when you get upset. He's a ‘Don't tell your mother’ type of dad. He can't say no to his child, but, oddly enough, he can't be emotionally manipulated either. He may even let his child do a lot of things, but even he has limits to what he knows is good or bad for them.

Because he's the permissive father, he's also the scariest when he gets serious. He can never get really mad at his child, but he can say a firm and assertive “No” if necessary. However, if they are still very young and start crying, he will panic and call you immediately. You will then have to comfort Idia and tell him that no, he did not make a decision that put him on the path to the traumatic and apocalyptic ending. What he probably did was the opposite.

If it depends on him, his child will be a nerd/otaku just like his father. However, he doesn't want them to be socially anxious like him and will always encourage them to go for walks with you outside even if it's without him. That doesn't mean there aren't times you drag him outside with you.

Besides occasionally questioning whether he is being a good father, there is something else that haunts him... He still carries and will probably always carry the feeling of guilt for what happened to Ortho, so he is absolutely TERRIFIED that something like that may happen again.

Idia has always tried to keep your child as far away as possible from all areas that are dangerous or even remotely similar to the hallway where that happened. But if your child ever happens to even enter an area that their father did not allow, they will get to know a side of Idia that sometimes you yourself don’t even remember exists: The overprotective, traumatized side that isn't afraid to scare his child if it means keeping them away from the danger. And probably the only way they'll see his red hair. But it will probably be after that, that the two of you will have an open heart conversation and Idia will apologize.

Now, about Uncle Ortho, they LOVE uncle Ortho! He's the one who goes for a walk with you and your child when you and he can't convince Idia to go too. He is a cheerful uncle who loves to play with your child. You three made up stories to explain why uncle Ortho was a humanoid. You always make up different and crazy stories to jest with them and make them change the subject. The day will come when they will be old enough to know the truth.

Idia may even talk badly about himself a lot of the times, but no matter what his child do, they are talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular and everything good. “Of course that's because they inherited it from you, not me.” He will say with a smile.

Both Idia and your child treat Grim like a pet cat and find it funny to see him getting grumpy.

Idia spoke to his child in that baby voice when they themselves were also babies. And maybe also when they are children to the point where they tell him to stop treating them like babies.

Malleus’s child(ren) call him: Daddy (when little) Dad (when older) Father (at formal events)

The day Malleus found out you were pregnant was already a happy day, but the day your child was born was the happiest day of his life! And every moment with them is the happiest moment of his day. And of course with you too. He totally and completely loves his family!

Anyone who dares to speak ill of the child of Malleus Draconia, especially about the fact that they are half-human, will suffer the consequences! Anyone who spoke openly about the child being something of a disgrace, shame or an abomination was either killed or imprisoned. (Depending on how opposed you really are to Malleus killing or ordering someone to be killed.) and of course, the same applies to talking bad about you.

The problem is that this is doing the same thing to your child that was done to him. He's scaring everyone and making them afraid to come near your child for fear of saying or doing something that might upset them or Malleus. He listens to you and agrees with you, showing concern and thoughtfulness about what should be done. He hates people being disrespectful to the ones he loves, but he also doesn't want his child to go through what he went through.

What ends up happening is that, on Malleus's part, he realizes that he has to start learning ways for people to respect his child without using fear, but to do that he also has to start letting certain insults slide. He doesn't like it, but if it's what's best for his child, he'll do the best he can. Although the same applies if they disrespect you. He hates it so much!

In the case of your child, you are helped by Lilia (if he’s still alive), Silver, Sebek and their families. Perhaps trying to spend more time among their people and with other fae, humans, and half-fae might be beneficial to a child's social development.

Lilia would treat the child as if they were his own grandchild. Even if Silver also has children, they are ALL Lilia's grandchildren! “There's no denying it any longer... I am... officially... an old man... For the best possible reasons!” Everyone will rescue your child from Lilia's food. “Never eat anything that Grandpa Lilia cooks, you hear?”

Silver is the calm uncle who, despite not being the most fun to play with, is the one they turn to when they want to rest and simply have a good chill time. Or take a nap. Probably who they turn to to run away and hide from Sebek when he's being annoying. He ends up being the adult (than is not their parents) that they trust most and feel most comfortable with. Silver is very happy when they ask him for help to get closer to an animal to see it better, and even more so if they and the animals end up interacting and playing with each other.

Now about Uncle Sebek... If there is anyone more protective and flattering of that child than Malleus, it is Sebek. He cried when the child was born, for sure. And cried even more when the child said his name, or whenever they at least tried to. The day they called him "Uncle Sebek" he was about to have a heart attack. The problem is that he ends up being one of those type of person who adores children (although in his case the only ones he likes would be Malleus's and his own children) to the point that the child finds them annoying and clingy. “But don't tell Uncle Sebek that, he'll be sad.”

Whenever the child throws a tantrum that ends up causing their powers to manifest in storms or uncontrolled magic, Malleus will take care of it while you stay away and safe. To him, any attack would be mere tickling, but he always made sure that your child knows that the same does not apply to you. They may end up thinking that you are very fragile while they are little, but it is better this way to ensure that they do not hurt you unintentionally.

This also means that whenever you need to say ‘No’ to your child, Malleus will do it if there is a possibility that they would start throwing tantrums. At least while they are young and cannot control their powers well.

Malleus also runs the risk of being a father who spoils his children.

Your child and Grim probably burn a lot of things around the castle because they play together and they both have fire powers.

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

And if you would like to read this but with other characters you can write in the comments. If this post has a lot of notes (likes and reblogs) I might consider making a second part with other characters.

#Twisted Wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst headcanons #Riddle Rosehearts #Riddle Rosehearts x Reader #Leona Kingscholar #Leona Kingscholar x Reader #Azul Ashengrotto #Azul Ashengrotto x Reader #Jamil Viper #Jamil Viper x Reader #Vil Schoenheit #Vil Schoenheit x Reader #Idia Shroud #Idia Shroud x Reader #Malleus Draconia #Malleus Draconia x Reader

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unikhroma · 13 days ago

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we need to talk about ramb [analysis/theory]

MASSIVE shoutout to my friend mycringefactory for ripping his sprites

ramb! he's the power strip darkner in chapter 3 that runs the stand in the green room and introduces you to the set of games that leads to the chapter's unusual secret boss.

weird attention to detail with his sprites, telling kris that he knows they want, dismissing their concerns that something might be up, having a page of the sweepstakes ARG named after him instead of the location it's showing, directly introducing kris to a rendition of the weird route and saying that it's "REAL fun".

seems like if it were some other character, these would be ringing more alarm bells. but i knew, i Knew there was something up with him. he is the secret boss, it's just not in a way we're used to. strap in, cause this is long as fuck <- not an exaggeration i've been writing this for the past three days.

ramb is the shadow mantle enemy.

ramb wants kris to have fun and enjoy the games he's provided! no he really wants kris to have fun and enjoy the games. he mentions it a lot, and keeps saying that he knows kris and what they want. in the context of a game about the weird route no less.

and all this is much like the shadow mantle enemy. it says outright that it thinks a part of kris isn't getting the shadow crystals because it'll get what they want, instead it's that they're just enjoying this, like ramb keeps saying is the case for them.

it wasn't there to stop kris: what it wanted was to see kris play, said plain as day. i believe the flickering red comment is about kris' eyes, that it wanted to see them really get into playing the game.

it's hard to believe that this is all just a parallel when it lines up So Closely. i feel like you don't just have two characters speak almost exactly the same and with such an emphasis on the same things, with the only difference being an accent in one of them. not to mention that there's an NPC tells you who ramb parallels.

can't find footage, but m-chromatic says this is from a pippins NPC

the shadow mantle enemy also further emphasizes its interest in kris having fun with a secret room in one of the games:

"Having fun?"

it feels like such a personalized message to them, and whether kris is having fun is something that ramb is very concerned with.

something particularly notable is what happens the first time you get proper dialogue from the mantle enemy. after the board is cleared, kris asks ramb about someone being backstage, and he denies it and says he's been there on security the whole time.

also i find it odd that the first line is one of the few times that expression of his shows up. in the second line he turns his head away in a smile

another thing:

and this bit might be a stretch but it's worth mentioning: the little creature that the mantle enemy turns into does happen to have floppy ears like ramb does.

once again shoutout to mycringefactory for ripping these sprites

alright, so ramb may have control of this game, probably from the wide variety of controllers in the backstage (though i have a personal theory that he can go into the game himself). but why do i think he has anything to do with the game itself? well, this ties into a sub-theory:

MANTLE/MANHOLE is a dragon blazers romhack made by ramb, and is what tenna unknowingly built his game off of.

in case you're wondering why i'm giving it two names. i personally think it's manhole cause it ties into other things

tenna's game vs the original game. "some big ol' blasted line from A to B" vs "the ORIGINAL game where YOU decide what to do". the parallel of regular route vs weird route is a lil on the nose. in this game, you're made to do a re-imagining of the weird route in chapter two and something beyond that. but the game wasn't always that.

the spamton sweepstakes is how we know this. the d_a_m_n_y_o_u_t_e_n_n_a page and noelle's icepalace_glaceir blog teases MANTLE/MANHOLE and ties it back to ramb. clicking the TV will change the screen to be static-filled (like the game cuts to when the controller isn't plugged in), and the lowest point of the page contains static squares, one leading to a neon blue screen and the other leading to ramb's page.

the neon blue screen (similar to the title screen of MANTLE/MANHOLE) can be scrolled up to show what looks like a representation of the ice area in the old game where you use the ice key. the door on the page leads to noelle's icepalace_glaceir blog, where she describes an oddity in dragon blazers that lines up perfectly with an area in the old game.

this cross area in the old game is accompanied by a track named GLACEIR. on noelle's blog, she writes that she's currently listening to a song from dragon blazers of the same name. it would make sense that if she's writing about that area and feeling nostalgic about it, she'd be listening to the song from it as well.

the choice of word for what her mood is.. i can't help but think of how that one weird ass expression of ramb's is called "nostalgic"

with all that in mind, i feel like it's pretty clear that that "old thing" tenna says he based his game on was intended to be dragon blazers. except that "original game" was clearly tampered with. it's not a coincidence that this game has a rendition of the weird route's beginning, it was put in there by someone. tenna is bothered by MANTLE/MANHOLE's contents as well:

another clue on the game being modified by ramb is, despite it being dragon blazers, the third board isn't a non-specific RPG location and is instead based on cyber world, specifically cyber city and queen's mansion's basement.

ramb originates from cyber world and while tenna may have known things about cyber city due to his connection with spamton, it's highly unlikely that he's seen the mansion basement, so it had to be ramb who modded it. ramb mentions people who live in queen's mansion like he knows them well.

another thing.. think about the names associated with him: his name is ramb. like RAMb. to put it simply, RAM is any data in a computing device that can change or be modified, and it's implied that he modded dragon blazers.

his name is misspelled as ROMb in-game and in the sweepstakes page regarding him and the old game. the track that plays in the S-rank room and thus when you speak to him about the game is called "Dump". to mod a ROM, you'd have to dump it from the hardware first (though i don't think that's necessarily what ramb did since we're in a fantasy world).

the dump thing is interesting to me also cause as mentioned before, the spamton sweepstakes has a page for ramb, but it was first accessed by clicking "[scrap heap]" in one of the prize descriptions. another allusion to him and trash... btw i feel like it's worth stressing: HE'S HAD A PAGE NAMED AFTER HIM THIS WHOLE TIME!!

oh and there's these two lines from him that absolutely implies that he had some kind of hand in the games backstage. the "HIS" would not be emphasized like that if the old game was impersonal to ramb.

so why is ramb like this?

why'd he want kris to play his fucked up snowgrave game so much? what's all this talk about fun? and then after all that, asking them if opening the fountain was that good of an idea... after all, doing so would cause him several darkners to turn to stone.

he's a power strip. like outlets, power strips can have a large variety of things connected to them: fans, chargers, TVs, video game consoles.. the key difference though, is that they can have multiple things connected to them at once and they're portable.

ramb shouldn't turn to stone because, unlike that zapper that turned to stone because its likely to be for catti's TV and isn't compatible with the dreemurr's, he's not bound by that kind of restriction. in fact there's a lot of uses he can have, multiple at once even. he's also directly relevant to TV world as being able to provide power to tenna himself.

but ultimately, in the same vein as tenna, he stopped being used. and getting kris to play these games, when his purpose is "letting you play your games", might've been a way to keep himself alive. "Without play... the knife grows dull." i think this line from him as the shadow mantle is also in reference to how without him being played, he'll turn to stone (grow dull).

i don't think this is just that side of himself being un-petrified because of the light. the light is enveloping him entirely, you can see it go well past him. i think he needed to be as close in proximity to the game as he could since it's tied to his purpose. more on this later.

selfish actions aside, i do think ramb cares about kris. but he was also suffering from being outcasted both socially and by lightners including them, so i think he was preparing for a fountain opening and the opportunity to convince kris into spending time with him again.

he was really done dirty by his fellow darkners man

he projects onto kris so much: he wants to have fun too. he misses those times. an opportunity to meet an old friend in the midst of loneliness and to relive those good memories he holds onto so much? well, he had to do something.

...and the something he did was steal the shadow mantle and create a fucked up game for this kid because he missed seeing them have fun and thought that all that fucked up shit was what they liked. (i think it's implied that kris plays video games in a bit of an aggressive way? unfortunately struggling to find specific scenes about it)

the thing about how he was already stone on the inside makes me wonder if that's a way of saying that he died inside a while ago and the loneliness broke him. part of me thinks he's intended to represent mentally ill people who fall through the cracks cause they don't "seem" like they are. this power strip needs therapy and medication man

the implications of him modifying the game to show the weird route in particular though... is he trying to encourage it? is it a warning? was learning about the weird route the thing that made him spiral and turn to doing this? it's very likely yes, since similar things happened to jevil and spamton.

how does he know about the weird route and what happened to him?

awesome first question: i don't know. it's possible that, because he's meant to parallel tenna, that he too was contacted by the knight, and they told him about it. however, it may not be that one-to-one. since spamton's forbidden knowledge came from someone outside of the in-game universe (we presume gaster), he could've gotten it from that.

and what's up with all the DEVICE_FRIEND appearances in his romhack? ..honestly can't explain it either. but since he depicts queen's mansion in it, i get the feeling that he's been down there and he saw it. maybe it's something that really stuck with him, or he had extended contact with it.

now as for his fate.. after the sword route is complete (meaning all three boards of his game are finished), the rabbick in the S-rank room expresses fear over something that happened with ramb.

so what the hell happened to him to freak this rabbick out so much?

most likely: he parallels tenna, so maybe he was also enlisted by the knight, and his job was to keep the shadow mantle out of kris' hands. because he failed to do so, he got taken or hurt by the knight as punishment.

less likely but more interesting to me: let's address the rabbick saying that kris already went past. we saw the pixel kris leave the backstage, so that seems to be what they saw. the pixel kris escaping the game may mean that the game will technically never be turned off, making it so that ramb is always being "used" and thus not fated to turn to stone while the fountain is still open

so the rabbick might've been frightened by a darkner that shouldn't be alive coming to life again (..thoough i have a theory that he might be able to shapeshift and that freaked them out but that's for another post)

either way, if you completed the sword route, ramb is somewhere else now. isn't that fun?

so! now with all of this information about him in mind: do you see why i'm insane about him. there's more evidence for some of my points (like ramb knowing you missed the ice key and having another creepy message for kris in a secret room) and evidence for potential counterpoints, but this post is so fucking long man.

thinking about exploring other things about him like his beef with tenna but we'll see. because this took a lot out of me LOL. anyway:

THANK YOU FOR READING!

oh and by the way, if there's a little man who doesn't fit with the other darkners telling kris to do some weird out-of-the-way shit and telling them that that's what they really want and he's talking about freedom, you should be asking questions

#harvey's new text tag #deltarune #deltarune chapter 3 #deltarune ch3 #ramb #ramb deltarune #deltarune spoilers #deltarune chapter 3 + 4 spoilers #deltarune ch3 + 4 spoilers #deltarune speculation and unused stuff #<- we love the theory tag/

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stopaskingme · 4 months ago

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The curious case of Adeyemi's (missing) watch in Conclave (2024)

the longer watch friend and I think on it, the more it blows our minds how intentional the costumers were wrt to the friggin watches in this movie. If you're interested in watch meta for Lawrence, Benitez, Bellini, Tremblay and Tedesco, I have linked the previous posts :D

This post is about Adeyemi's watch and what it means.

The Different Shorthands the Watches have throughout the movie

Despite like 100 close-ups of hands in Conclave, only six characters are depicted with watches. Only the serious contenders for the papacy.

Before the conclave starts, Watches are windows to a Character

they are quick snapshots of who a character is, or their current state of mind.

Tremblay and Tedesco: Watches with black dials, signalling their roles as antagonists; Bellini and Lawrence: White dials. more on Bellini later. Benitez: Digital watch face, neutral unknown

Two characters stand out because of how plainly the camera shows us their watches

– and then how completely those watches disappear once the conclave begins.

Benitez's Casio in his first full-profile shot, and Lawrence's Orient in the emotionally vulnerable bathroom scene

Which leads into the second role the watches play.

Once the conclave begins, Watches are Signals of Ambition

BENITEZ & LAWRENCE Their watches are gone. Even in settings which you'd expect to see them, like the bedroom. Because they lack any desire to be pope.

What's the point? Well, Adeyemi's Watch.

We see glimpses of it when he was still in the running for the papacy. But that's all we get. Glimpses. His watch cannot be identified.

It can't be accidental, since the movie has been so deliberate about who wears the watches. Rather, the camera refuses details on Adeyemi's watch because there's nothing more about him we needed to know.

ADEYEMI He didn't need to prove himself. He was the 'natural' successor. He led the votes in the first three ballots. He's the closest thing to a shoo-in candidate. That changes, however, when Lawrence comes to confront him. When he pleads with Lawrence to give him a chance, this unidentified watch peeks in and out from under his right wrist (left screenshot). By the following ballot scene, however, that watch has been stripped from him (right screenshot).

To hammer the point home, the camera shows us the individual candidates following the results of the next ballot.

Adeyemi sits with his hands tucked under the table. Tremblay has a watch, but as the new frontrunner, the watch is mostly hidden.

Bellini and Tedesco's watches are full-faced, out in the open. They are still actively chasing the papacy. Lawrence, on the other hand, genuinely doesn't want it, so his hands are firmly under the table.

The One Time Bellini loses his Watch

When Tremblay is outed for simony, his watch goes through the same treatment as Adeyemi's. More interesting to note is that Bellini loses his watch when he was prepared to support a Tremblay papacy.

True, he was in a nightgown when Lawrence shares the incriminating report with him. Most people don't wear watches with their nightgowns. At the same time, Bellini had also given up on his own candidacy.

After Tremblay is out of the running, look who's wearing a watch again!

Lawrence

Most telling of all is Lawrence's watch. The only time it appears after the conclave begins is – you guessed it – WHEN HE VOTES FOR HIMSELF.

And Benitez?

His Casio is hidden even during his game-changing monologue. It only appears in the final voting scene after he's lectured the curia.

Benitez might not have dreamt of becoming pope. Rather he'd grasped the situation at hand and knew what direction he'd steer the Mother Church given the opportunity. And that was enough.

His watch is symbolic proof of his conviction and visual proof of his character.

In short, the watches show up when the candidates need to prove themselves worthy of being the next pope.

They lose their watches when they are no longer eligible.

Going back to ADEYEMI when he realises he's lost his chance, Lawrence places his hand over Adeyemi's right wrist when praying for him, covering where his watch would be. Adeyemi's watch makes its last appearance when Tremblay is outed; his hope rearing its head. But he also realises he doesn't stand a viable chance because the watch is gone when he's clapping for Benitez.

After BENITEZ has been elected Tremblay's hands are beneath the table. The camera lingers only on the crack in his glasses. Bellini's Seiko Dolce is there in its full tank face glory. He was never 'disqualified' from the race. Should there be another conclave in his lifetime, he might run again. Tedesco's Oris out and in even fuller, naked display. He hadn't been 'disqualified' either. He could and would run if he's alive for the next conclave.

And after the conclave?

In the Room of Tears, Benitez holds Lawrence's hands. Benitez wears no watch. There's nothing more we need to know.

We already understand who he is and why he deserves to be Pope.

🐢 Conclave watches part 1 / part 2 / part 3

#conclave #conclave 2024 #conclave (2024)#watch meta #conclave watches #vincent benitez #joshua adeyemi #cardinal benitez #cardinal adeyemi #thomas lawrence #cardinal lawrence #goffredo tedesco #cardinal tedesco #cardinal bellini #aldo bellini #joseph tremblay #cardinal tremblay #character design #costume design

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lizzybeeee · 8 months ago

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DATV Spoilers - The Story We Lost

Posted earlier that I was compiling a list of lore/story threads that have been dropped with DATV's handling of Southern Thedas. The sheer number of things means that I've made this into two parts - this one focusing on all the story threads that have been effectively dropped.

Spoilers for the game ahead, of course.

If you've played the game then you'll know that Southern Thedas - everything from the past three games - was basically swept away by the blight.

A double blight should have catastrophic consequences for the entirety of Thedas, I don’t deny that, it’s nothing short of a mass extinction event – the absolute worst case scenario for all of Thedas.

However, waving away the fact that Southern Thedas - specifically every area you ever traveled to and interacted with in previous games – is gone, devastated by the blight, in a codex entry and line of dialogue makes it abundantly clear that BioWare is attempting to clean the slate so that they can move forwards with the game series with no ties to the previous ones.

The Warden, Hawke, and the Inquisitor effectively accomplished nothing.

As I put it in another post: I never expected them to consider every decision in game outside of the three options they gave us, but I certainly didn’t expect them to go scorched earth on the possibility of ever seeing the results of those decisions either.

How the lore has been handled in this game, summarized to “the elves did it” and “there’s been a shadowy organization in the shadows pulling the strings on everything” is absolutely devastating to the franchise.

The lack of care with which this was treated just bleeds, “There, we’ve answered all questions and finished with this era of Thedas. Moving on now.” At the same time, this destruction absolutely obliterated whatever story threads remained from the first three games.

Could BioWare bring these threads back? Yes, I suppose. But it doesn't change that it was so carelessly thrown aside in the first place.

If they didn't want people to care about their decisions and the impact they made on the world, perhaps they shouldn't have made that a feature of all the previous games.

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Story Threads/ Plot Points that were dropped:

Limited my points to what was in the Dragon Age Keep and what points were brought up frequently in codex entries, conversations, etc...

Edit: I never expected all of these points to be answered in DATV - this is just a list of what was effectively brushed to the side through very bad handling of lore and story.

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Dragon Age: Origins

What is the line of succession in Ferelden?

Things are looking very grim for Ferelden's succession and the Theirin/MacTir line if nothing is done. And nothing was done. The entire plot of DAO literally culminated in resolving this issue, yet no one seems to have learnt a thing from it?

- Anora ruling alone is unmarried with no heir - Alistair ruling alone is unmarried with no heir - Ruling together they have no heir - Alistair and a Cousland Queen have no heir - Anora and a Cousland King-Consort have no heir

The only potential candidate that can fit into several of those world states is Kieran.

Fergus Cousland, according to lore, is the second closest to the throne that is confirmed to be alive in DAI - potentially the brother in-law to the King/Queen of Ferelden.

Ferelden's succession with Alistair as King hinges on whether or not the Warden was able to cure the blight. Alternatively, it is hinted that he may be more resistant since he has dragon blood in him from Calenhad.

The potential implications of Kieran being the bastard son of the King of Ferelden.

Kieran being used as a political pawn to depose Anora using the Theirin bloodline.

DAI took away whatever destiny Kieran had with the Old God soul – that didn’t mean that BioWare had to take away everything else too. Regardless, it doesn't matter. Denerim and Redcliffe have fallen to the Blight - it's unlikely that any of this will ever be brought up again.

2. Did the Warden find a cure?

Unknown. Irrelevant.

Ferelden ended up blighted. Denerim fell. If Ferelden rises from the ashes, it will be without any sign of their influence. Any mention of them will likely be their title alone - no mention of their accomplishments.

3. General Questions about the Landsmeet

What happened to Anora if Alistair is named King? Who rules the teyrnir of Gwaren following the blight?

What happens to Alistair if he's exiled? We know Teagan finds him in DA2 but what happens after?

If Leliana becomes divine does that mean that Connor Guerrin is potentially an heir to Redcliffe?

4. Companion Plot Threads

Morrigan's sisters - the many daughters of Flemeth.

Shale's quest to reverse the process of becoming a golem.

Whatever the hell Nathaniel Howe was going on about when you run into him in DA2 in the blighted thaig.

What, if anything, Avernus leaned from spending a literal age or two studying blighted blood.

5. Zevran's Crusade against the Crows

RIP Zevran's one-man crusade against the Crows and their child slavery ring.

DATV messed up immensely by portraying the Crows as more of a ‘found family’ rather than the horrifically abusive organization it was set up to be.

The very same organization that preys on the weak and disenfranchised - honing them to be tools for the nobles/powerful of Thedas - are now the heroic freedom fighters of Antiva.

The literal decade he spent hunting down the Crows and their leaders is up in flames. No mention in DATV whatsoever.

Wasted a perfectly good opportunity to have a schism in the Crows, with Zevran at the helm of kicking out the antaam, taking in Crows who are are sick of what's happening.

6. The Dwarves of Orzammar

The impact of Bhelen/Harrowmont's reign - ruthless progression verses strict traditionalism

The rumours of an uprising of the casteless dwarves in DAI

Will we ever hear of noble House Brosca or Queen/Lady Rica? Nope.

Will we ever hear of the son that Aeducan can have with Mardy? Nope. (RIP Duncan Jnr - I still love you)

The Anvil of the Void and potential links it may have to the Titans.

If Branka lives what happened to her?

No more fine goods direct from Orzammar

The entire caste system has been simplified by Harding in DATV to effectively be: 'surface dwarves' and 'deep roads' dwarves.

7. The Magisters Sidereal / Awakened Darkspawn

According to a codex in the Descent: one went mad, consumed another, and the final magister fled into the Deep Roads.

Corypheous + Codex Magister + the Architect (most likely) = 4/5 magisters remaining? Possibly?

Reminder that it's hinted that there's an eighth Old God that was struck from the records of Tevinter.

The Architect and his Awakened Darkspawn.

No, it was all the elves. They're all dead now anyway. Thanks BioWare.

8. The Guardian and the Urn of Sacred Ashes

"Where did you come from, where did you go? Nobody in Thedas will ever knowwwww."

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Dragon Age 2

Dragon Age 2 was pretty self-contained, with most things being tied up in Trespasser or DAI. The worst of the plot points abandoned relate to the companions in the game and the lack of closure/answers about them.

General Questions:

Kirkwalls, apparently, endless line of 'provisional' viscounts and constant political instability since Varric ran off to go after Solas.

According to DA: Absolution the Red Templars are still in Kirkwall...yet the show is set after Trespasser - when Varric is viscount? When he mentions that they threw a parade when getting Meredith out of the Gallows?

Aveline, Varric, Merrill and whoever remains of the Kirkwall crew apparently just allowing red templars take over the Gallows?

What happened to Petrice if she lived?

What happened to Feynriel if he went to Tevinter?

If Hawke lives following DAI - where are they?

I have a whole list of lore that's also been brushed over: the Sundermount, Corypheous, the Band of Three etc... I decided to put them in Part 2 since I feel they fit in more with 'lore obliterated' rather than 'abandoned plot points'.

2. Companions

Merrill's Eluvian:

Merrill spent years fixing an eluvian with a piece of string, a potato, and some gum - managing to actually do it.

And it meant nothing.

Eluvians are now a fast travel hub - all mysticism and awe at this marvel of magic are completely gone. Whatever sacrifices Merrill went through to save her sliver of elven history is meaningless.

Imagine if Merrill's eluvian aided in the fight against Solas - if having it intact gave you an advantage against him. Imagine Merrill weeping as Bellara fixes every other single eluvian in ten seconds with her magical omnitool.

Fenris and Slavery in Tevinter:

DATV utterly trivializing slavery in Tevinter is abominable.

Disregarding everything Fenris went through, everything he ever fought for, and making it something barely touched upon in DATV is insanity.

You wouldn't know there was slavery in Tevinter if the Shadow Dragons didn't drop a line or two about it.

Fenris' entire story of going to help free the slaves is diminished because no one wanted to show the ugly, dark side of Tevinter in DATV.

DATV has retroactively made this choice for him to be so unfulfilling.

Where is Anders?

What happened with Sebastian's crusade against Anders? Was he ever captured? Was he executed? Are you telling me that no templars ever pursued this man fanatically after what happened in Kirkwall?

Does his fate vary if Hawke was friends/romanced him?

Varric appointing a new Viscount’s Keep healer called ‘Banders’ who just happens to sleep in the same room as Hawke and their children call him ‘daddy’ lmao

Does his fate vary according to who is Divine? Vivienne hunts him down, Cassandra puts him on trial, while Leliana pardons him?

How does he react to Leliana abolishing the Circles? How much does he weep when the rebellion fails and the mages are destroyed? This man instigated the starting event for DAI and drove most of DA2's major plot and he's just...gone.

The Hawke Siblings:

From DAI we know that Warden Bethany/Carver are safe, but what happened to them if they're in the Circle?

Give us Knight-Commander Carver and First Enchanter Bethany Hawke, you cowards! Have them dismantle the Gallows and be the shining examples of human decency we know they are.

What happens to them after DAI and the Mage/Templar War is concluded? In a world that can embrace or reject them - how do they find their place?

Varric

Trespasser gave him a satisfying conclusion - he's viscount, he's in his shit hole of a city, he's surrounded by the people that he loves and cares about. He has the chance to truly build up Kirkwall after all the shit its gone through.

It just feels so bitter, so meaningless, that they gave him the end that they did in DATV. Varric should never have been the one to go after Solas - the only reason it was him was because he's a popular character in the franchise and was used to draw interest.

Why not Cole?! Who was literally mentioned in Trespasser as being on hand to help his friends - who has the ability to get through to Solas in a way no one else could?

No proper send off - no acknowledgement from those who loved him as to his fate...Varric was reduced to a marketing gimmick to draw people in who wanted to see if he died or not.

Isabela

Isabela's story was brought to a close in DAI - she became an admiral, got a fancy hat, helped the Inquisition, and kept in contact with those she loved/Hawke if defended from the arishok.

Imagine bringing her back in a terrible outfit, having the most sex/gender positive character misgender another person, and making her part of the group that steals cultural artifacts from others.

The tomb of Koslun and Aveline would like a word with you?!

The entire Lords of Fortune group is also extremely bland? No commentary on the ethics/effects of colonialism/cultural appropriation - because confrontational topics/ideas are not allowed in this game. Just like topics of slavery/indoctrination.

Her entire character just seems to have regressed from DA2. Why bother having her cameo in the game if she's not going to meaningfully contribute/comment on whats happening?

Edit - Thanks to bunnyiscthulhu for reminding me that Isabela's mother sold her into marriage...yet she does nothing when Taash's mother is outright forcing them into a life they don't want. Isabela, who believed that everybody should be free - that no one should be forced into a life they don't want, just...lets it happen to another person?

-------------------------------------------

Dragon Age: Inquisition

What's going to happen to the Red Lyrium that's popped up across all of Thedas?

Ferelden, Orlais, Kirkwall - all areas are reported to have red lyrium on the surface.

What happens to the Red Lyrium in Suledin?

DAI speaks about how they can never stop the spread of red lyrium, only slow it – animals, insects, organisms - whatever life is in the ground is all susceptible to becoming blighted by red lyrium. Suledin Keep in particular was utterly devastated by the Red Templars - what happens to life there?

2. What happened to Corypheous' Inner Circle?

What happened to Samson? How long did he live *if* he’s given the chance to help Cullen? Can something good come from his cooperation?

What happened to Calpernia?

Looking at previous concept art for DATV she was a companion - freeing slaves, gossiping about Samson & Corypheous. Just...what a waste. Any potential insight we could have gotten into Corypheous is gone.

3. The Mage / Templar War:

How does the world vary if you conscripted vs allied with either?

How do the remnants of what faction was not chosen fit into this new world?

How does the world deal with abominations and weird magic shit now? Is an alternative to the Order made if it's wiped out in DAI?

How is Cullen's templar clinic doing? If the templars still exist, how is Divine Victoria changing/adapting the Order to better support mages/templars?

4. Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts:

How do Orlesian politics reflect who was made ruler?

Is Gaspard looking to expand into Ferelden once more? Are the elves being brutalized under his rule like they were by his chevaliers? Does he do away with the grand game like he threatened in DAI?

How does this differ if Briala has collared him? How do his supporters feel that Briala has his balls in a vice?

Do Celene and Briala stay together? Do things improve for the elves and for the culture of Orlais at large?

Do improvements for the elves mean that Solas' arguments to his elven agents are less persuasive?

If Florianne is alive what the hell is going to happen to her? How quickly does she fall on her blade after being forced to wear flat shoes for the rest of her life?

How quickly does shit fall apart if you get all three to cooperate lmao

Friendly reminder that DATV sets up that all of Orlais, except for the Winter Palace has been overrun by the Blight - and that a coup from the Venatori is inevitable, likely resulting in any ruler dying.

5. What is the line of succession in Orlais?!

Why does every noble family in Thedas have no contingency plans for if their head of government dies?!

Part of why we needed to resolve the leadership problem in DAI was because there was no clear, direct heir if Celene died!

Celene has no heir Gaspard has no heir

Florianne planned to frame Gaspard, murdering Celene herself, leaving no clear heir to the throne - Orlais was already in a civil war, the council of heralds/nobles would have all campaigned in their own interests...that was why this was so important!

Orlais shortsightedness and pride in their nation being the greatest in Thedas led to them almost falling in a single night!

6. Here Lies the Abyss:

What are the ramifications of having the Warden's exiled verses remaining in the south?

Trespasser literally states that there's a schism in the Order because some Warden's believe they should touch grass more often and not listen to some bloke up in Weisshaupt for what they do down in the south.

Perfect opportunity to have the wardens remaining in the south mean something! Greater numbers in the south means that there's a greater chance of holding against the blight - while greater numbers in the north can effect if Antiva/Tevinter end up blighted in the first attack!

How does public perception towards the Wardens/King of Ferelden change when they learn they were exiled for committing human sacrifice to demons?!

Give us a warden coup and First Warden Alistair / Blackwall, you cowards!

7. The Well of Sorrows:

What was the point of drinking Mythal's bathwater?!

It's been set up as something that changes you. Bound to Mythal forever?!

Retroactively, Solas feels like he's going mental about nothing! One of the few times he ever breaks - he begs you not to - and...for what? Nothing.

DATV does not acknowledge that in the slightest. Such a waste and disappointment of what was made out to be an impactful decision in DAI.

Imagine if the Inquisitor drinking from the well made us forced to fight against them during the fight with Solas - imagine if Solas, in a world state who hated the Inquisitor, used them as a puppet! Just like the envy demon in DAI - and no one notices until its too late. Imagine Mythal herself, wanting Solas to go through with his plan - (or one of the other evanuris) using an Inquisitor/Lavellan he loved as a puppet - imagine the horror he feels as another one of his friends is reduced to nothing more than a mindless slave of the evanuris once more. Imagine the devastation as he watches Lavellan lose all sense of self - perhaps swaying him to, maybe, not go through with his plan?! Imagine having Cole come back to help save the Inquisitor - or Solas begging Rook to save them.

8. DLC Implications:

What happens if Hakkon is not slain? What happens to Southern Ferelden and the Avaar?

How does the rest of Thedas react to the truth of what happened at Red Crossing and the Dales? How do they react to learning that Inquisitor Ameridan - First Inquisitor and leader of the Seekers - was a dalish, elven mage?

What happens if you do not save the mines in the Descent DLC? How badly is Orzammars economy crippled? There are already rumours of riots occurring within Orzammar - it this enough to push the caste system over the edge?

9. Elven Uprising and the War with the Qun:

The elven uprising that was implied to be occuring all over Thedas as a result of years of oppression, systematic abuse, and Solas’ influence? What happened to it?

Where are the agents of fen'harel?!

It was set up that Solas was planning to use this rebellion as a smokescreen for his plans - the elves, all rebelling for good reason, rallying to his cause while Solas planned to restore the world that once was. The rest of Thedas would only see an elven uprising, not knowing the true face behind it until it was too late!

The war between Tevinter and the Qun?!

Everyone conveniently forgetting that the Qun literally attempted to assassinate every noble family in Thedas? Why was there no exalted march because of this? This should have destroyed any accord between the chantry and the qun. There would absolutely be blood for this – Tevinter could have attacked the Qun and all of Southern Thedas would have applauded - no one would have differentiated between extremist qunari and the normal qun, especially not after Kirkwall.

The implication at the end of Trespasser that we could convince Solas to abandon his plans? Him saying that he welcomed giving us the chance?!

The difference that the Inquisitors friendship, love, or hatred could have in either convincing Solas to take another path or damning him to go ahaead with his plan, no matter the cost?

Have our decisions in previous games matter! How we treated the elves - if we worked to better their lives or 'put them in their place' - can be used to convince him that the world can change! Have the ripple effects of these decisions be seen when the elven gods return, blighted - does the world turn against the elves, hardening Solas, or does the world defend the elves from those who would blame them?

Why was Sandal in the Crossroads?! Where is Bodahn?!

10. Divine Victoria!

How does the world of Thedas change with Leliana, Cassandra, or Vivienne at the head of the chantry?

How does Tevinter react to having a mage divine?!

Do relations change between both nations because of this?

Leliana allowing elves, dwarves, and even qunari to join the Chantry! Leliana also allowing members of the chantry to get married if she's romanced by the warden.

What happened to the Seekers? Are they being rebuilt?

Does the chantry inform the masses, the rest of the mages, that they can CURE tranquility?!

If either Leliana or Cassandra was romanced - what are the implications that may have on the chantry?

-------------------------------------------

No wonder the writers insisted that none of the past choices would have an impact on Veilguard - they literally went scorched earth on everything we ever did.

Ferelden is blighted - any legacy of the warden is gone.

Kirkwall is destroyed - any impact Hawke had is gone.

The hard won peace/order of the Inquisition was rendered meaningless since every single place that you went to and helped is now destroyed by the blight.

Orlais' ruler will likely be assassinated by the venatori who are plotting a coup with the nobles - making whomever you chose obsolete.

AND IT WAS ALL THE WORK OF THE MAGICAL ILLUMINATI FROM ACROSS THE SEA???

3K notes · View notes

itwillbethescarletwitch · 15 days ago

Text

Movie Night Massacre

bob floyd x fem!reader

Bob Floyd had always liked mornings with her.

Not the ones that started at 0400 with mission briefings and burnt base coffee. No, the real mornings—lazy, warm ones like this. Saturday sun filtering through the curtains. Her head on his chest. Her fingers drumming absently along the soft cotton of his T-shirt. And best of all? No alarms. No helmets. Just him and Y/N, tangled up under the sheets with nowhere to be for a few precious hours.

Until she suddenly sat up and said, “We forgot the brownie mix.”

Bob blinked. “…What?”

“For game night.” She was already climbing out of bed in one of his oversized Navy t-shirts. “We said we’d make cookies and brownies from scratch. We have nothing. No flour. No sugar. No butter. Nada.”

Bob sat up, rubbing his eyes. “We’re hosting in like eight hours.”

“Exactly,” she called from the bathroom. “We need to get moving. Come on, I want the good chocolate chips this time—not the sad store brand ones that taste like disappointment.”

———

Bob pushed the cart. Y/N loaded it like she was prepping for a bake sale and a full-blown dessert war.

“Okay, flour… sugar… brown sugar… butter…” she muttered, tossing each into the cart. “Do we have vanilla extract at home?”

Bob thought for a second. “We used it all when you made those lemon cookies.”

“I made those two months ago.”

“Yeah. They were good.”

She gave him a look and tossed two bottles into the cart. “Just in case.”

They turned the corner into the candy aisle and Bob paused beside the baking chocolate.

“Do we need cocoa powder too?”

Y/N smirked. “Look at you, getting all chef-y.”

He blushed and ducked his head. “I like when you get all excited about baking.”

She leaned over the cart, chin on her arms, watching him pick out ingredients with way too much concentration. “You’re cute when you take dessert this seriously.”

“You’re cute all the time,” he murmured without thinking.

She blinked. “Did you just flirt with me in front of the Nestlé Toll House chips?”

“Absolutely.”

———

They weren’t supposed to stop here.

They were just going to the store for baking stuff. That was the whole plan. But Y/N had spotted the tiny corner DVD shop on the way back and dragged Bob in “just for five minutes,” which Bob knew translated to thirty minutes minimum and at least one Regency Romance DVD purchase.

“Okay but listen,” Y/N said, holding up a copy of The Proposal. “Betty White, Ryan Reynolds, Sandra Bullock, a fake engagement—this is cinema.”

Bob squinted at the back. “Didn’t you already own this?”

“I lent it to Phoenix and never got it back.”

He handed her a second DVD—Remember the Titans. “Should we get something for the squad? Something safe? Hangman said if we picked anything emotional again, he’d walk.”

Y/N raised a brow. “He cried during The Notebook. His opinion is invalid.”

———

Music played low in the background—Taylor Swift, of course. Y/N danced around the kitchen in socks and a sports bra while Bob carefully measured flour into two mixing bowls.

“Cookies or brownies first?” she asked, licking brownie batter off her finger.

“Cookies. Brownies need to cool longer.”

She grinned at him. “You’ve learned well, padawan.”

“I had a good teacher,” Bob said, stepping behind her to press a kiss to her neck. “Also, I didn’t know the right way to separate eggs until you literally smacked one out of my hand and said ‘NO.’”

Y/N shrugged. “Tough love builds character.”

The oven preheated. The kitchen slowly filled with the scent of vanilla and chocolate. Outside, the sun drifted through the windows like melted gold. Bob leaned back against the counter, watching her hum along to the music, her cheeks pink with heat and happiness.

This was what peace looked like.

Cookies in the oven. Brownies prepped. And a stack of DVDs waiting for chaos.

“Remind me again,” Y/N said, brushing flour off her nose, “why we ever let Fanboy near our electronics?”

Bob sighed. “Because the last time we told him no, he called us communists.”

“Right. And because you’re too nice to say no to anyone.”

Bob smiled. “That too.”

——

By the time the doorbell rang, the kitchen was a war zone.

Frosting smeared across the counter. Mixing bowls in the sink. A chocolate chip lodged in Bob’s hair that Y/N kept refusing to point out because “it’s cute.”

But the desserts? Perfect.

“I swear, if Hangman says anything about my brownies being dry again,” Y/N muttered, smoothing the top layer with a spatula, “I’m throwing them at him.”

Bob chuckled. “He’s just mad yours are better than his mom’s.”

“I know they are.”

The doorbell rang again—longer this time.

Y/N wiped her hands on a towel. “Fanboy.”

“How do you know?”

“Because only Fanboy rings like the FBI’s about to kick the door in.”

⸻

Sure enough, Fanboy and Payback were waiting outside with three board games, a six-pack, and a pizza box already missing a slice.

“You’re early,” Bob said as he let them in.

“You’re welcome,” Fanboy grinned. “We wanted to beat Hangman to the good snacks.”

“We are the good snacks,” Y/N said, stealing a slice of pizza. “Make yourselves at home.”

Within twenty minutes, the living room looked like a college dorm.

Cards, empty soda cans, stacks of DVDs, and a very aggressive game of Uno already brewing on the coffee table. Phoenix arrived next, flinging her jacket over the couch and heading straight for the kitchen.

“Do I smell brownies?”

“You smell victory,” Y/N said, handing her one. “They’re still warm. Frosted too.”

Phoenix took a bite and made a sound that was definitely not safe for public spaces. “Okay. If hosting comes with this kind of dessert, you’re doing it every week.”

“Not a chance,” Bob laughed. “Next week’s Maverick’s turn. He already threatened us with Top Gun trivia.”

“Oh god, I’m calling out sick.”

⸻

By 6:00 PM, the whole squad had arrived.

Maverick with a six-pack and popcorn. Coyote with margarita mix. Rooster brought his guitar and swore he wouldn’t play it (he absolutely would). And finally—late as usual—Hangman waltzed in wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt like he was on spring break.

“I’m here,” he announced. “Start clapping.”

“You’re two hours late,” Phoenix deadpanned.

“And still the best looking one here,” he said, finger-gunning at Bob. “Except for Floyd, apparently. I heard he’s a monster in the kitchen. Can’t wait to see what else he’s good at.”

Bob nearly dropped the tray of cookies.

Y/N arched a brow. “You trying to die tonight, Bagman?”

Hangman grinned. “Nah, just trying to stir the pot.”

———

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the group rotated through board games, cookie breaks, and general shit-talking.

Bob had just defeated Maverick in a shock Uno reversal.

Y/N and Phoenix were arguing over whether or not The Proposal was the greatest rom-com of all time.

Fanboy wandered back over to the shelves. “Alright, alright. Game’s over. Let’s pick the movie.”

“Nothing sad!” Hangman warned. “I swear if I cry again tonight—”

“You cried during Paddington 2,” Payback muttered.

“He was a misunderstood bear!”

Fanboy rifled through the DVDs. “Too sappy. Too scary. Seen it. Seen it. This one looks new…”

He pulled a clear jewel case from the back. No label. No print. Just a blank disc with a small black smudge on the plastic.

——

The lights dimmed. Everyone piled onto the couch or the floor with blankets and snacks. Hangman stole the corner of Y/N’s couch and tried to drape a throw blanket over Bob’s legs, who promptly pushed it off.

Bob and Y/N stayed back in the kitchen for a second—pulling cookies off the tray, pouring drinks, laughing softly about the Uno drama.

“Are we sure we want them using our TV?” Bob asked.

“We’re not sure about anything tonight,” Y/N said, sliding him a drink. “Just roll with it.”

They were mid-kiss—chocolatey and sweet—when it happened.

From the living room:

A pause.

Then a sound.

Soft. Breathless.

“You sure it’s recording?”

A voice. Bob’s voice.

And then—

“OH MY GOD,” someone screamed.

“BOB!!!” Phoenix shrieked.

“IS THAT—ARE THEY—” Fanboy stuttered.

“YO TURN IT OFF!!” Rooster howled.

“WHY IS HE SAYING ‘YES MA’AM?!’” Hangman cackled.

Bob froze. “No.”

Y/N blinked. “No no no no no—”

They bolted into the living room.

The TV glowed in the dark. On screen: their bedroom.

Their bodies.

Their sounds.

Their moans.

And worst of all?

Bob’s voice again: “You like that, sweetheart?”

Y/N let out a shriek that could have shattered the screen. “THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE NIGHTSTAND!”

Bob scrambled toward the DVD player like it was a bomb. “I—oh my god—I didn’t—I didn’t know it was in there—I thought I moved it!”

“You didn’t!” she cried, grabbing a pillow to cover her face. “YOU DIDN’T!”

Hangman had fallen to the floor. “BRO. You freaks. You absolute freaks.”

Fanboy was crying. “WHY WAS HE IN A COWBOY HAT?!”

Bob yanked the disc out and slammed the screen off.

Silence.

Then—

“I can never look at this couch the same again,” Maverick said quietly.

——

The TV was dark now.

The room wasn’t.

It burned with secondhand embarrassment so thick, you could slice it with a dull butter knife.

Bob stood frozen in front of the screen, clutching the DVD like it might come alive and bite him.

Y/N was face down on the kitchen counter.

Nobody moved. Nobody breathed.

Then—

“…So do we finish it or…?” Fanboy asked.

Phoenix threw a cookie at him.

Hard.

⸻

Y/N finally lifted her head. Her face was crimson.

“I am going to die. Right here. Right now.”

“You’re not gonna die,” Phoenix said gently. “You are, however, going to get absolutely obliterated in the group chat for the rest of your natural life.”

Bob was mid-panic attack, pacing in tiny, frantic circles in front of the TV. “I don’t—I swear—I thought I moved it—I keep all our personal stuff in the nightstand, I never put that on the shelf, I don’t even remember putting it in the case—”

“Did you back it up to the cloud?” Fanboy asked.

“OH MY GOD—” Y/N shouted.

“Stop talking,” Phoenix snapped, shoving a brownie in his mouth. “Immediately.”

Hangman sat back with his arms crossed, glowing like it was Christmas morning. “So… let me get this straight. Y’all out here doing 1080p director’s cut levels of freakiness… with camera angles?!”

Bob groaned.

Hangman pointed to the screen. “I saw a tripod, Floyd. A TRIPOD.”

Payback nearly choked. “Oh my god—there were camera angles?!”

“You used soft lighting,” Rooster wheezed. “You had a setup!”

“I like aesthetics!” Y/N cried, throwing her hands up.

“She does,” Bob muttered, still scarlet. “She lit candles.”

“THEY LIT CANDLES?” Hangman shrieked. “This is porn for Libras!”

⸻

Y/N spun on Bob in a panic. “What else is on that disc?”

“I don’t know!” Bob hissed. “I thought that one was blank—I swear I didn’t mean to—I must’ve mixed it up with the backup one and—”

“THERE’S A BACKUP?”

Bob slapped a hand over his face. “I didn’t mean it like that!!”

Rooster collapsed face-first onto a pillow, crying from laughter.

“I can’t—I’m seeing you in a new light, Floyd,” Hangman said, wiping a tear. “And I gotta say—I’m proud. Disturbed. But proud.”

Y/N pointed a trembling finger at Bob. “You’re in charge of labeling our sex tapes from now on.”

He nodded frantically. “Absolutely. Color-coded. Numbered. Password protected.”

———

The squad had finally left.

And by “left,” of course, we mean: shoved out the door with leftover brownies, Hangman still screaming “I WANT THE EXTENDED CUT!” as he got dragged to the car.

Y/N slammed the door shut behind Phoenix, locked it, and turned around with a deep, soul-wounded sigh.

Bob was standing in the middle of the living room holding a throw pillow like it could protect his dignity.

“I want to crawl under the house and never come back.”

She laughed—really laughed—for the first time all night. “Baby…”

He dropped the pillow and flopped face-first onto the couch. “We’re never hosting again. Ever. I’ll burn the TV. I’ll join a monastery. You’ll have to visit me in silence and robes.”

Y/N walked over, climbed onto the couch, and sat on top of him.

“Okay, Brother Bob. But I’m gonna be the scandalous nun that sneaks in during full moon sermons.”

He groaned into the cushion.

⸻

A beat passed.

Then two.

Then—

“They saw me in a cowboy hat,” he said miserably.

Y/N grinned. “You looked hot.”

Bob sat up so fast she nearly fell off his lap. “YOU CAN’T SAY THAT.”

She threw her arms around his shoulders. “I can say that. Because I remember exactly what you said in that hat. And how it ended.”

He turned cherry red. “You’re evil.”

“And you came in, like, eleven seconds.”

“I WAS EXCITED,” he cried.

Y/N smirked and kissed his cheek. “You’re adorable when you’re humiliated.”

Bob buried his face in her neck. “I can never look Maverick in the eye again.”

“He’ll survive,” she said. “The man was a pilot in the ’80s. You think this is the first sex tape he’s seen?”

“…He did say he once flew with a guy who got court-martialed for crashing after a blowjob.”

“See?” She kissed his temple. “Legacy, baby.”

———

Y/N stood in one of Bob’s oversized shirts, brushing her teeth with a sleepy sway. Bob was behind her, washing his face like he was trying to erase his entire personality.

“Do you think Fanboy’s already editing a trailer?”

Bob groaned.

“Like—‘In a world… where cookies weren’t the only thing getting creamed—’”

“STOP.”

She snorted around her toothbrush.

Bob wiped his face, leaned into the mirror, and groaned again. “They’re gonna bring this up forever.”

“I know,” she said, rinsing. “They’ll never let it go. You’ll never live it down. And I’m gonna bring it up at every wedding toast from now until we die.”

“Please don’t.”

“I will. Especially if you make me watch The Martian again.”

Bob grinned despite himself. “You like The Martian.”

“I like you. The Martian is just part of the package deal.”

⸻

They locked eyes in the mirror.

And for a second, everything else faded—the shame, the chaos, the cowboy hat discourse. It was just them, in the warm bathroom light, standing a little too close, tired but still laughing.

Bob leaned in, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

“I’m really sorry,” he said softly against her shoulder.

Y/N tilted her head back onto his. “You don’t have to be.”

“I should’ve double-checked. Triple-checked.”

She turned around, cupped his face with both hands. “Bob Floyd. If your worst sin is that you accidentally played our sex tape because you were too excited about cookie night… I forgive you.”

He smiled.

“You’re perfect,” she added.

“You’re dangerous,” he whispered. “You made me come in, like, eleven seconds. Again.”

She gasped and shoved him. “YOU SAID IT FIRST!”

He caught her around the waist, laughing. “Because it’s TRUE.”

———

Three months later. Sunday brunch.

Bob and Y/N were sitting at an outdoor table under a striped umbrella, sipping coffee with Bob’s Momma—sweet, Southern, church-on-Sundays, bless-your-heart energy radiating from her pearls and paisley blouse.

It was all going so well.

Y/N had just made her laugh. Bob had just offered to split a cinnamon roll. There were fresh strawberries. The sun was shining.

And then—

Bob’s phone buzzed.

1 New Message – “Hard Deck Hooligans” Group Chat

He didn’t check it. Just sipped his coffee.

Then it buzzed again.

Then again.

Then like fourteen more times in a row.

He blinked down at his phone.

Y/N, across the table, raised a brow.

Bob finally opened it.

And stopped breathing.

⸻

Jake Seresin had sent:

• One (1) blurry screenshot of the sex tape.

• Captioned:

“Just found this masterpiece again while clearing my storage. Honestly Oscar-worthy. @Bob @Y/N when’s the sequel?”

Bob dropped his phone like it burned him.

Y/N blinked. “Everything okay?”

He just stared at her.

Then his momma gently reached across the table and picked up the phone to hand it back to him.

The screen lit up right as she looked down.

The image popped up full-screen.

It was Bob.

In a cowboy hat.

Naked.

Mid-action.

“OH MY GOD—” Bob lunged across the table like it was life or death.

Y/N slapped both hands over her mouth.

His mother—sweet, soft-spoken, gentle Southern woman—slowly set the phone back down. Folded her hands. Took a delicate sip of water.

“…Robert,” she said calmly, “is that your… rear end?”

Bob made a strangled noise.

Y/N choked. “I’m sorry, I—I think I just blacked out for a second—”

His mother turned to her. “Sugar, is that you in the… video?”

Y/N nodded slowly, like she was confessing to a crime.

“Alright,” Momma said with a tight smile. “I just needed to confirm before I go into prayer.”

⸻

Bob was catatonic.

He stared down into his coffee, visibly glitching, whispering, “This isn’t real. I’ve astral projected. I’ve died.”

Y/N looked like she was trying not to pass out from laughing.

“I’m gonna kill him,” she whispered. “Jake. He’s a dead man.”

Bob muttered something like ‘I’m never going outside again’ before curling in on himself.

Y/N reached under the table and squeezed his thigh.

“You did look hot, baby,” she whispered.

He whimpered.

⸻

Meanwhile – Hangman’s Apartment

Hangman was kicked back on his couch, smug as hell, sipping a beer.

“Why’d you do that?” Phoenix asked, half amused, half exasperated.

He held up his phone. “Because life is short, but Bob’s cowboy hat lives forever.”

——

It started with a label.

Thick black Sharpie. Block letters. Written by Y/N, in all-caps, on a fresh blank disc:

“DO NOT PLAY THIS AT MOVIE NIGHT.”

Bob added a neon orange sticker below it that read:

“PRIVATE – GO AWAY, JAKE.”

It was 11:23 PM. There was incense burning. Low R&B playing. And Y/N was standing in the center of their bedroom in nothing but a pair of lace panties and Bob’s flight school sweatshirt, holding the camera remote with a glint in her eye.

“Think we’ll traumatize him if we send him the opening credits?”

Bob, already shirtless and blushing, tilted his head. “Is that the goal?”

She smirked. “It’s the minimum.”

⸻

Bob had been anxious all day. But once the record light glowed red—and Y/N straddled him, slow, soft, deliberate—it stopped feeling like humiliation.

It started feeling like control.

This time, he knew the angles. He chose the lighting. He wasn’t in a panic sweat—he was in silk sheets, with her body rolling above him, gasping into his ear, completely in charge.

And when she pulled off her sweatshirt and whispered, “This one’s for Jake,” before sinking down onto him—

Bob groaned, “He doesn’t deserve this masterpiece.”

⸻

📀 Two Days Later – Group Chat

Hangman:

📩 New AirDrop from: R.FLOYD

Rooster:

uhh y’all getting that too or just me?

Phoenix:

wait. wait. did he—?

Hangman:

oh my god.

oh my GOD.

OH MY GOD.

THEY SENT A TRAILER.

WITH MUSIC.

AND TRANSITIONS.

Fanboy:

BOTH OF THEM IN SILK??

AND A SLOW PAN??

BOB YOU EDITED THIS??

Bob:

🙂 yes.

Y/N:

enjoy it. you earned it.

Hangman:

bro I will NEVER talk shit again

this is cinema.

⸻

Later That Night – Bob & Y/N’s Bedroom

Bob crawled into bed with a satisfied sigh, arms wrapping around Y/N’s waist under the blankets. She giggled as he buried his face in her neck.

“You feel better now?” she asked.

“I feel legendary.”

Y/N turned in his arms to face him. “Think it’ll stop him?”

Bob thought for a second. “No. But at least next time he talks shit, I’ll just say ‘scene three, timestamp 1:24:56’ and walk away.”

She grinned. “Power move.”

They kissed—slow and smiling, warm and lazy—and Bob whispered against her lips:

“Next movie night? We’re bringing The Martian.”

She shoved him off the bed.

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4kozy · 21 days ago

Text

sophia as ur monster gf hcs

━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━

sophia is a vampire, so messes in your home is a guarantee. she’s a messy eater; regardless of if it’s your blood or someone else’s, there’s gonna be a lot of cleaning up afterwards.

vamp soph has very pointy ears and teeth. she doesn’t have claws–common misconception–but she likes to get acrylics to match the look. she’s deathly pale when hungry, a big problem for her because she misses the natural color of her lips from time to time, but hates having to feed to get it back.

vamp soph mentioned feeding on you as nonchalantly as she could ( so as obvious as possible ) at the start of your relationship… saying how good you smelled, how much she wanted to try you, how feeding was an honor… it was kinda cute, so you kept teasing her as if you never heard any of it. she got so sick of it😭 she almost tackled you so you’d listen… ( ended differently than planned )

vamp soph always kisses you deep before eating–she says it makes you taste better, but you think it’s an excuse to make out. you also know that it’s to relax you before her fangs pierce your pulse, and that way, it hurts you a lot less. ( sometimes she gets drunk off of it, not stopping until you weakly push her off, in which case she profusely apologizes, giving you the aftercare of the gods🙏 )

vamp soph does NOT go outside. no, the sun doesn’t burn her alive, but it might as well… she also doesn’t do well in temperatures that aren’t moderate. fall and early spring are the times you go out the most–not too cold; not too hot.

vamp soph would sooner fly you everywhere you need to go than invest in a car. she thinks they’re the root of all evil, and would rather you stay home anyways.

vamp soph is very expressive–she never has to say that she’s feeling anything because she wears her heart on her face…? she’s upset? oh, you know. she’s pleased? oh, honey we can tell. you don’t tell her this either, because she will lie in your face about how she’s feeling even though it’s really obvious.

when vamp soph first fed on you, it kinda linked you two together. when you feel physical pain, so does she. it’d be a bit more romantic if you weren’t so clumsy at the job.

vamp soph doesn’t sleep period. she will lay in bed with you with her arms crossed and eyes open. she is literally counting the seconds until you wake up again. she never brings it up because she knows you like sleeping with her and you’d feel bad.

vamp soph can’t eat anything but blood ( and odder enough, raw butter ) and STILL takes the time out to make you dinner; yes, it’s good asf; yes, you ask for seconds and thirds.

vamp soph likes to play games with you more than anything. you two don’t play collaborative games anymore–a phantom woman knocked on your door and kinda cussed y’all out… ( you guys apologized and now hang out regularly. sophia has to wear 3 layers though. )

vamp soph likes to collect antique sharp objects! it’s cool until you’re asleep and wake up to sophia holding a broadsword over your face! more incidents of falling weapons occur and you thank whatever otherworldly force for her reflexes.

vamp soph broods like a teenage boy and listens to ptv very obnoxiously when it’s her journaling time. she likes to say that vampires have concerns the world would blow up over… falling over while attempting to stand up after a week of flying straight is not one of them.

vamp soph is super protective over you. remember how she can feel when you get hurt? it took months for her to stop showing up at the job after a prick–she still shows up for a fall every time; she also takes you home, because why would anyone beef with a vampire?

when vamp soph met you, she swore off eating anybody else… you think it’s cus she’s picky, and she thinks you guys are soulmates.

vamp soph loves receiving cheek kisses. especially after rescuing you from work, it’s like her special reward.

like manon, i also see vamp soph as being lesser on the possessive side, just because everyone can see that you’re taken. also she’s really confident in herself; you’d be stupid to try anything. you are very very smart! ( unfortunately some people are not. sophia knows she swore off eating anyone else but when that idiot man was messing with you, she got so mad she couldn’t control herself. she didn’t fully eat him–he tasted quite gross–but the point was made when his mangled body was found off the side of the road… oh how protective your girlfriend gets. )

vamp soph’s fav thing to do with you is talk. conversations with her are never dull, so you enjoy them too!

vamp soph was turned a long, long, long time ago. you don’t ask about her age, or who turned her, it’s a topic that isn’t taken very well. ( sophia spent the first thirty years of her life post-turn almost animal-like–vampires only get more human the more they feed )

another ability of vamp soph’s that backfires on her a lot is her shape shifting. this one is still one she has yet to control, her body usually going haywire when you make her flustered. ( tugging on her cheeks teasingly ended up with them stretching to 22 inches. it took a lot of butter, hard work, and apologies stifled by laughter–on your end–to fix it. )

vamp soph can also hypnotize you. she doesn’t realize when she’s doing it most of the time, until she jokingly tells you to die on the game and you rush to the nearest weapon ( which wasn’t far due to her odd obsession with them ) and she has to restrain you for the next hour.

vamp soph is really loud and argumentative; this is only exacerbated by the fact that she’s lived for hundreds of years so she thinks she knows better than you do. when google gets pulled out, phones get broken. and better phones get bought…

when vamp soph gets asked her favorite era of life, she will 100% without fail say it’s the one with you in it. it’s not meant to be corny, it’s genuinely how she feels about you.

vamp soph likes taking extravagant baths with you, and she will do one every night with a different theme. your favorite was pride month ‘23.

you like to massage vamp soph a lot! for such a homebody she gets a bunch of knots in her back. ( it has something to do with her workout routine… flying… for a long time… )

vamp soph likes to capture spiders in your home and name them. you currently have a lot more than you’d be comfortable with, but you love sophia more than you hate spiders.

you like to crochet vamp soph new clothes all the time. you originally picked it up as a side hobby, but seeing her enjoy every piece–from the ugly ducklings to the beautiful swans–you continued. she wears everything and proudly shows them off to everyone in the building, despite your embarrassment.

you and vamp soph’s favorite place ( outside of your home, that is ) is the beach! especially at night, you both love it there.

where the phantom neighbor’s apartment is minimal with barely anything but string lights and the occasional clothes on the floor, you and vamp soph turn your place into a maximalist dream–there is stuff everywhere, in a way that’s full but not cluttered. it reminds her childhood home in a way, her father was a toy store owner in their town.

you laugh at all the jokes vamp soph tells, even when they aren’t funny, just because you know your laughter makes her happy.

after 4 years of being together, and multiple internal monologues, you finally bring up to vamp soph about your wish to be turned. sophia stares at you like you’ve grown three heads. this is equally because of her trauma and her need to keep you safe at all costs. she tries to argue with you, saying you’ll need to eat a lot to turn human, you’ll have horrible pain for the first few weeks–or in her case years, and that living forever means watching the people you love die. you’re determined though, telling her that it’s forever with her or nothing, and you’d be willing to do anything it takes for it to work. after a few months of pleading, she finally relents, and just as she told you, it hurts like fucking hell. she brings you humans every day, hoping that you’ll have it just a bit easier, taking care of you the best way she knows how. when you recover, all you can feel is overwhelming love, and you know you’ve made the right decision 🩷

━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━

wow vampire sophia😍😍??? how surprising!!! all i know is that i need her–and bad. (in a tone of voice that is not appropriate)

#katseye ⭐️#wlw #katseye x reader #katseye imagines #sophia laforteza #sophia laforteza x reader #sophia my filipino enchantress how i love and miss you #ko’s works

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wileys-russo · 6 months ago

Text

summer christmas II a.russo

third little christmas fic installment! summer christmas II a.russo

"less, you're being a little bit dramatic." you chuckled, laid on the bed watching your girlfriend rifle through her suitcase grumbling and mumbling under her breath. "i am not! this is just wrong, its all wrong." the english woman shook her head with a huff as you merely smiled in amusement.

"baby you're just hot and bothered, you'll adjust in a few days! you've barely been here twenty four hours." you assured, pulling yourself to sit against your headboard and crossing your legs underneath you.

"exactly, and in that twenty four hours i've slept for about two of them!" the normally soft spoken blonde snapped, yanking a red bikini out of her bag and tossing it into the ever growing piles of clothes on the floor beside her.

"that's just the jetlag babe. it was the same when you came here last time, unfortunately the flight and the time differences don't change lessi, i tried speaking to someone about it but apparently mere mortals can't change geographical lines and locations." you teased gently with a grin, perfectly manicured eyebrows furrowing together in a scowl sent your way shortly after.

"it wasn't anywhere near this hot when we were here in august, i'm going to melt!" the girl groaned, kicking her case closed and flopping down backwards on the end of the bed, face buried in her hands.

"thats because again its summer right now less. i also spoke with mother nature but she won't drop the temperature, turns out she's nearly as stubborn as you." you sighed sarcastically, laying down so your head was near hers as she rolled onto her side.

"you are not cute." the blonde warned as you winked, poking her nose as she smacked your hands away and rolled onto her back again.

"this is like opposite day on repeat! its supposed to be freezing cold and you wear hundreds of layers and drink hot chocolate and get cosy and have a fire and chop down a tree an-" your british girlfriend rattled off her regular traditions, ticking them off with her fingers.

"we can still do that stuff! well maybe not all of it, but we can watch christmas movies and go look at lights and have iced chocolates! we can take my nieces to the carols in the park, we can also go to the beach everyday and out on my brothers boat and we can stay out later because the sun doesn't set till after nine, and my mum got us all matching pyjamas! they're just...summer ones." you tried to assure, moving onto your stomach and looking down at her with a few encouraging nods.

"but its not the same! i've never had a hot christmas, all of its just wrong." alessia moaned, arms covering her face as you deflated a little and wriggled back to sit up, fiddling with your fingers in your lap for a second as doubts began to swirl around in your head at her words.

the two of you played at arsenal together and quickly clicked when alessia transferred, having met at a few social events the last couple of years you'd been in england and gotten close with some of your english teammates who'd gone above and beyond to make you feel welcome.

it helped having steph and caitlin around, and then now kyra, plus the rest of your matildas teammates scattered throughout london whom you regularly made efforts to catch up.

you and alessia had only been seeing one another for about a year and a half now but if you asked anyone who'd spent time with you during that period they'd tease you acted as if it had been much much longer.

last year you'd spent your first christmas in england with the russo family, finally having a reason not to go home which as much as it broke your mums heart she was overjoyed you'd met someone, bonus being it someone as kind and thoughtful as alessia was.

but this year you'd promised to come home for christmas, not having much of a chance to see your family all season between the olympics, international games, league games and champions leagues matches that had kept you more than busy the last twelve months.

you'd not expected your girlfriend to come with you, the two of you more than accustomed now to having to spend time apart playing for different countries. but when alessia teasingly floated the idea over dinner, feigning offence you hadn't asked her, it had all blossomed from there and now here she was.

you were much more used to the long haul flight home than the blonde was though, having done it dozens of times over the years for international commitments among the league games in england.

you'd come home pretty much the very day your break started, just under a week earlier than alessia to allow her to spend a little bit of the december break with her own family before she flew herself to australia.

but ever since you'd picked her up from the airport yesterday you could tell she was rather miserable.

there'd been turbulence and two screaming babies on the flight despite the fact the striker had flown business, which meant she'd not slept anywhere near as much as planned, and adjusting to the time difference hadn't been kind.

so slowly those doubts that you'd made a wrong choice asking her here grew louder and louder, until you just had to say something or else it felt as it you might burst.

"do you wish you'd stayed in england?" you asked quietly, attempts to mask the insecurity in your voice null and void as your girlfriend shot up, guilt written clear all over her face which sank as it caught the obvious nerves in your features that she regretted her choice to come home with you for the holidays during break.

"what? baby no of course not. i'm so excited to finally meet your whole family and spend time with them and with you, i'm so sorry for being so negative. i'm just tired and grumpy but that is not at all fair to take out on you." the blondes hands moved to settle either side of your face, bright blue eyes scanning yours as you gave a small nod, clearly not believing her.

"oh my love, really i am excited! we're going to do all that stuff you just said and i want to learn about your traditions and what you like doing for christmas. a summer christmas is just new for me thats all! but new things aren't bad things." alessia pushed, thumbs stroking your jawline and feeling the obvious tension in your body drop just a little at her words.

"less are you sure? it wouldn't be easy but we can find a flight back for you before christmas eve." you questioned, the taller girl nodding enthusiastically and leaning in to press her lips sweetly against yours a few times.

"more than sure, there's no need for that at all. this is no different to when you stayed in england with me and had a winter christmas last year, and you were nothing but cheerful and sweet and lovely the entire time." the blonde promised with another nod, stealing a few more kisses as the corners of your mouth upturned a little.

"mm theres that smile, welcome back." the striker grinned happily, a laugh finally leaving you as she practically tackled you back to the bed, moving on top of you as her hair fell around the pair of you like a curtain.

"i wasn't the one with the smiling problem russo." you poked her as she winced sheepishly. "i know. but from now on, i will embrace these new experiences with open arms!" the english woman announced, laying down on top of you and kissing all over your face.

"i'm happy to hear that." "yeah? i'm happy to say it." "good, because its thirty two degrees outside right now and the air cons only in the living room." you scrunched your nose up as the blonde faltered, taking a deep breath and exhaling.

"thats fine! i'm fine. lets just go to the beach!"

it turns out you and your girlfriend clearly had different expectations of what open arms and a beach day meant, as alessia lay on the beach recharging herself in the sun and you'd spent the entire time begging she get in the water with you.

"lessi come on! what happened to being open to new experiences?" you groaned, stealing her sunglasses and slipping them over your nose as she squinted up at you, sheltering her eyes with her hand.

"give!" the blonde demanded, making grabby hands as you shook your head and shuffled back on your knees. "swim!" you countered, smacking her thigh gently as she sighed heavily.

"swimming in december feels illegal." "not going in the water when you're at the beach is illegal." "babe the waves are huge, i'll get...what did you call it again?" "mm, dumped? we're not going surfing alessia!" you laughed, pushing her hand away where she reached for her sunglasses back again.

"but tanning feels so nice!" the blonde whined, arms covering her face. "you'll have plenty of time to get sunburnt like a little lobster baby, i promise." you cooed sarcastically, your girlfriend shoving you and finally sitting up on her towel.

"that was one time." "lessi its every time, you refuse to wear sunscreen!" "sun cream, and because it feels...sticky." "well does crying about how much it hurts to shower and peeling off your burnt skin feel better?" you countered quickly, the striker opening and closing her mouth.

"come on!" you hopped up to your feet, holding out your hand toward her and wiggling your fingers impatiently. "you know your persistence is incredibly irritating." alessia gave in, grabbing your hand as you pulled her up to stand.

"and here you used to find it endearing." you teased, the blondes hand smacking against your ass as you blushed and pushed her. "theres families here!" you warned as the girl smiled, simply shrugging and interlocking her fingers with yours as you tossed her sunglasses onto her towel and lead her down to the waters edge.

"how do you get in without being smashed by the waves?" her grip on you tightened as another set came rolling in. "timing. you see how the waves all crash here? thats the breaking point, once the last wave crashed you move past that, and then you just duck dive under the big ones until you get out the back!" you explained, the english woman staring on clueless as you laughed.

"come on, on three we run into the water. one, two..." again her grip on your hand tightened but she nodded none the less. "go!" you raced off but felt her hand slip out of yours, glancing back as alessia shook her head and remained rooted in position.

"how is it thirty five degrees and the water is freezing cold?" the striker scoffed having stepped one foot in and recoiled immediately as you grinned at her from the shallows.

"i swear babe if you say something about mother nature when i get out there i'll drown you!" the blonde warned seriously as you held up your hands, glancing over your shoulder.

"okay now, go baby!" you encouraged, waving for her to run to you, a moments hesitation passing before she gingerly waded in, wincing every few steps until finally she'd made it past the break point, the water barely up to her hips.

"jesus christ i'm going to get hypothermia!" the older girl wrapped her arms around herself with a shiver making you roll your eyes. "but i'm the dramatic one?" you questioned in disbelief. "no not dramatic baby, sensitive." the girl patted your cheek condescendingly with a pout as you narrowed your eyes at her.

"dickhead." you poked her with a shake of your head. "do you want to know a secret to adjusting to the water faster?" you asked as your girlfriend nodded eagerly.

"well its quite simple, you just get your head wet!" you grinned and before the taller girl could blink you'd barreled into her, sending her toppling over into the water as she surfaced with a gasp.

"oh you're dead." you squealed as you were tugged down into the water with her, plunged in head first before you popped back up with a cough, having swallowed a lungful of water in the purpose.

"hey you said snowball fights was a big thing in england?" you questioned, the two of you moving into water a little deeper as alessia nodded. "well we can do that too." you promised as the girl looked at you clearly confused.

"how? theres no snow." "no, but there is sand!" you grinned, smacking a handful of wet sand from the ocean floor into her hair as she gasped.

"are you fucking kidding-" "wave! duck!" you interrupted, grabbing her by the arm and pulling the pair of you under, tugging her out to swim even deeper past where the waves started and you could relax a little more.

"it was a joke!" you laughed as your girlfriend launched at you once you did, latching onto you and forcing your head back underwater with a grunt, the two of you wrestling in the water before you yelled for a truce.

"maybe this isn't so bad." the blonde admitted, swimming up behind you, arms circling your waist and her chin making a home on your shoulder as the pair of you stared back toward the beach, the water now calm and bright turquoise, sparkling where it was hit with the sun.

"thank you for agreeing to come." you turned your head, capturing her lips in hers with a soft smile. "thank you for asking me to come." alessia squeezed you appreciatively before you both turned back to your people watching.

"are they playing...cricket?" your girlfriend asked in bewilderment watching a young family race back and forth across the sand. "yeah! beach cricket, an aussie classic. but not surpassed by backyard cricket, which you'll get to experience on christmas day." you explained as the blonde hummed curiously.

"really?" "yeah! we have a tournament every year with the whole family even my nan and pop, between lunch and presents." "so we do christmas lunch, not dinner, right?"

you nodded, answering a few more questions about what the next few days had lined up for the pair of you, stopping your explanation of why santa was left a beer and not milk when familiar lips started to trail across your neck.

"you're going to get us in trouble if you leave a mark russo." you chuckled in warning, relaxing in her hold as the striker merely hummed, your eyes closing as your face was bathed in sunshine and soft kisses were peppered down your jaw.

"well your mums already made it very clear that i have permission." you groaned at that, pushing her away and pulling a face. "well you've ruined the mood with that haven't you." you huffed, starting to wander back in until fingers hooked into the sides of your bikini bottoms and tugged you backwards.

"i'm sorry! i've just never met a woman who took such healthy interest in her daughters sex life." alessia teased, your response swallowed with her mouth pressing to yours with a cheeky grin.

"its not funny! its humiliating she has no boundaries and we're stuck with her for the next week." you groaned, head resting against her shoulder as the girls thumbs traced circles against your hips, the two of you staying in your childhood home where everyone would be gathering for the holidays.

"baby its not that bad. she's just very...progressive! and supportive." "you know i think if you were a boy she'd have left condoms on the side table and the book of karma sutra on the bed."

"santa came get up get up get up!" you groggily lifted your head feeling three little bodies jump up and down on top of you, alessia stirring next to you with a tired exhale.

"are you awake yet? wake up!" one of your nieces shouted in your ear as you tiredly lifted a hand and made a thumbs up, the three young girls belonging to your older brother taking that as a yes and jumping down, racing off to wake up the rest of the family.

you exhaled tiredly, dragging your hands down your face and jolting as your door swung open again. "hope no ones naked! merry christmas girls, up we get!" your mum sung out, flinging open your blinds as you groaned.

"jesus christ mum come on!" your cheeks flushed red at her brash words feeling alessias body vibrate with a small chuckle beside you as the woman shrugged, flicking on your light and striding on out again.

"i think i'm adopted." you grumbled, rolling over and burying your face in your girlfriends shoulder. "well thats quite the wake up." the brit rasped out with another chuckle, hand rubbing up and down your back soothingly.

"merry christmas less." you pulled back and rested your head on your pillow again, bright blue eyes and a tired smile staring back at you. "merry christmas love." she repeated, pecking your lips quickly given neither of you had brushed your teeth yet.

"get up!" you both winced as a hand smacked against the wood of your door, your brother flipping you off in the doorway as you rolled your eyes and forced yourself up into a sitting position, alessia rubbing her eyes and exhaling, face still puffy with sleep.

"how is it already hot?" the english woman groaned in disbelief, the two of you sleeping under a thin sheet and even then barely able to touch one another bar a bit of hand holding when you were dozing off due to the thick humidity of your childhood bedroom.

"welcome to your first summer christmas." you laughed, running a hand through her hair as she hummed, the two of you gradually getting out of bed and already hearing the commotion of your family downstairs.

"mum no photos! its seven in the fucking morning." you groaned, wincing at the obvious click of her phone camera shoved in your face as you and alessia stumbled into the kitchen.

"oi you watch your fucking mouth!" your dad chimed in with a point making your girlfriend laugh and your eyes roll as the pair of you followed everyone into the living room.

"look look! this ones for me!" your eldest niece gasped, all three of them already riffling through the mountain of presents as you sent her an encouraging smile and collapsed onto the corner of the sofa.

alessia took a seat beside you as you slung one of your legs over hers, the pair of you exhaling in relief at the air con blasting right above you and wishing a merry christmas the rest of your family who were lounging around the room, your dad taking charge to handing out presents.

"oh thank you!" your girlfriend smiled appreciatively as he handed the pair of you one each, labeled from santa which you knew meant they were from your mum which was what you whispered in the blondes ear who chuckled and squeezed your knee.

though as you began to unwrap yours you realized very quickly you may have been a little too quick with your excitement, catching the word 'dental dams' on the side of the box and stuffing it down the side of the sofa before anyone else could see.

"oh my god mum!" "what? santa just wants you to be safe darling!"

#alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso blurbs #woso imagine

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amiaclone · 6 months ago

Note

Can you do one with the salesman and reader, where they are playing Russian roulette like the scene with him and gi-hun, and then they start falling for eachother?

Oooh never done anything like this before sure!

Salesman x gn! Reader

*You ran across the streets like your life depended on it trying to keep up with the man in the suit.*

*Like Gi hun you offered to work with him to end the games these people liked to do for a living you never won the games with Gi hun you did however survive the first game and were one of the few people who chose not to return*

*Hey! You’ve got a family even if you’re in debt to lots of money! Anything better then dying anyway*

*You were with two other guys you were in the very back you ended up losing track of them so you’re now trying to make time using there location they sent*

*You reached a dead end in the alleyway now only hearing the sounds of bins falling you immediately reached for your pockets*

*You had a knife one of the other guys had a gun….where are they?*

“Looking for someone?”

*You immediately turned your head almost instinctively and came face to face with the man you were hunting all day*

*He smirked eyeing you down like a predator would…..gross.*

“Hey pretty face long time no see.”

*He called you that the first time you met….the salesman is what you call him the one who finds players and recruits them….what a disgusting job*

“You…” *You keep your knife behind your back waiting to see if he engages any attack however he drops his case*

“If you think I’m here to kill you I would have already….i’ve been watching you for quite a bit…” *That alone almost made your spine shiver* “ I already had some fun with your “friends” anyway” *He cleared his throat keeping the same smirk on his face*

*That smirk almost filled with amusement and psychoticness what an interesting but terrifying man*

“You…..you killed them….”

*You weren’t shocked that he’d do such a thing but there was two against one! This man is obviously a threat…..*

*He however shook his head keeping the same smirk however his eyes widened a little*

“We had a game that’s all.”

*You shook your head and then out of the blue he took a step forward you followed suit taking a step back*

“What do you want?”

*You both said at the same time you quirked an eyebrow trying to keep a brave face while he had a small grin*

“I’ll answer first since a “lovely” like yourself asked.”

“I want to….play a game perhaps.”

*You shook your head*

“Why should i?”

*He seemed to pretend he was thinking*

"You're working with Gi hun aren't you? you know….you and him both have these amazing delusions about saving humanity so….I'll give you answers about the games *if* you win"

*You scoffed*

"How am i supposed to know i can trust you?"

*He seemed to take delight in that*

"Your choice. All up to you."

*You pondered in thought what will you gain? you could die but if you accept theres a chance you could find something big*

*And if you decline nothing will happen you could waste an opportunity but potentially live…..*

*Your mouth then spoke before you could even comprehend*

“What if I don’t win?”

*He laughed a bit*

“I was waiting for that! Hah….Well simple….theres a lot I could do…i could kill that lovely face of yours or…..make sure you or Gi hun can’t interfere with our business again….or…..well let’s see how it goes shall we?”

*He quirked an eyebrow waiting to see if you’d agree or not this was bad*

“I’ll agree if….you tell me what game we’re playing first…to make it fair.”

*He smirked raising an eyebrow handsomely*

“Ever heard of Russian Roulette?”

*Your heart nearly stopped beating for a second….he can’t be serious*

*Never mind he definitely is*

*He kept that same almost psychopath like smirk like he was enjoying this…*

“I suppose you’ve heard of it now… the choice is up to you will you….play with me?”

*You tensed and just blurted out*

“Let’s do it.”

*Hey you’d rather die atleast trying to stop the games but you know Russian roulette….your confident you’ll win.”

*He seemed almost shocked for a second you of all people would agree but that regained back to his usual composure*

“Well then i have it in my brief case the things we’ll use…”

*He brought me down further the alleyway and found an abandoned warehouse that had one table and two chairs facing each other*

“Since im fairly confident in myself why don’t you go first?”

*You shrugged you’d rather take the first one first declares a win i guess?*

*You put the gun and……It was fine.*

“Of course first obviously you’ll be fine…”

*He smirked a bit before taking it he placed the gun on the end of his nose*

*Clicked and nothing happened*

“You know something im just wondering….its surprising you’re agreeing to this since you chose not to go back after red light green light”

*You took it placing it on the bridge of your nose nothing happened*

“I chose not to go back because i would have gained nothing from playing a few games compared to me there’s a chance I wouldn’t have won…”

*He took it placing the gun on his forehead*

“You know….the day I met you….everything I said was and is still the truth…..you have a captivating beauty.”

*He pulls the trigger and nothing happens i take it placing it on my forehead mainly to spite him*

“Oh really care to give into more detail?”

*You said it to humour him but he seemed to take it serious you pulled the trigger and for a second it seemed like it would have killed you but….*

*Nothing happened*

“Heh well……your eyes are fairly attractive every time you look at them it’s like there brand new all over again…”

*He placed the gun on the inside of his mouth that would normally disgust you it interested you in a….weird way*

*He pulled the trigger and it clicked. Nothing happened*

“Well the eyes compliment was nice….but looks aren’t everything.”

*You placed the gun on the bridge of your nose again and it clicked nothing happened you weren’t even paying attention to care if something happened*

*He smirked*

“Well why didn’t you decide to go back? After all your debt was pretty big if I’ll say……9 billion? And you still thought you had a chance”

*He pulled the trigger on his forehead and nothing happened*

“Anything’s better then dying”

*You take the gun and pull the trigger nothing happens this is getting boring….the salesman is up to something but what? What are those handsome eyes staring at me planning?*

“Cheap answer you didn’t go back just not to die? Knowing well your debt was just gonna get bigger and bigger….”

*He took the trigger and didn’t even hesitate to pull it and……nothing happened*

“You don’t seem like you have any but i have a family and loved ones waiting for me”

“Love is a ridiculous concept”

*This goes on forever taking the trigger and none seeming to pull victory*

*Each time the two of you only got more captivated by each other*

“You know the thing you said about love”

*He pulled the trigger and faced it towards his heart*

“It seemed you have stolen it.”

*A loud bang happened that nearly shot you out of your seat*

*But he was still alive it was nothing?*

*The salesman laughed* “That trick works every time was getting a bit bored doll….i think you’ve won at something.”

*Your eyes widened a bit* “Wait i won?” *The salesman seemed in denial for a second* “I suppose for showing me that….some things that aren’t blood and murder are still interesting” *he winks*

Hope you liked it if I haven’t gotten back to anyones asks yet believe me I’ll write it im just taking my timeee

#x reader #character #fanfiction #squid game #squid game season 2 #squid game x reader #squid game season 2 x reader #y/n #Salesman #squid game salesman #squid game salesman x reader #salesman x reader #squid game season 2 salesman x reader

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knight-commander · 1 month ago

Text

Observations on an Empty World

I recently started a new game in Dragon Age: Origins as part of the grieving process, and I'm struck by how allergic the writers of Dragon Age: Veilguard were to providing rich opportunities for roleplaying and exploration – fundamental elements of the franchise that previous entries excelled at and audiences clearly expected. It's extremely noticeable in the differences in how we interact with other characters in Thedas, and especially prominent in the first hours of each game.

While playing as a Dalish Elf in Origins, during the prologue alone, you can speak freely to and question:

Tamlen, your childhood friend

Keeper Marethari, the leader of your clan

Merrill, the Keeper's second-in-command

Maren, a gentle woman who works with the halla

Ilen, the clan's craftsman, who teaches you about the Vir Tanadhal

Paivel, one of the hahrens who raised you and Tamlen

Pol, a city elf come to the Dalish to avoid being hanged for theft

Junar, the hunter teaching Pol about Dalish life

Ashalle, who tells you the sad story of your parents (and the game lets you decide how to react to her telling you this)

Fenarel, who wants to come with you on your search for Tamlen with or without informing the Keeper

The 3 (nameless) humans encroaching on your clan's campsite, who you can choose to ruthlessly kill or scare off, but either way contributes to the clan having to leave

Duncan, of course

You can talk to many of these characters twice or more, once when you awake in camp the first time, and again after returning empty-handed after your search for Tamlen. They have different attitudes towards you and the politics of the world they live in. Often, you can interrogate them for more information. Some have interesting insights, others provide context for the world your character inhabits. Sometimes, you'll unlock codex entries from conversations you have with these side characters (or items in their vicinity), elaborating even more on what you've learned. All of this is in service to helping you roleplay: each interaction layers choices upon choices, building a picture of how your character interfaces with friends, acquaintances, and strangers, as well as how you'll fit them into the ideological jigsaw puzzle that is Thedas.

You will talk to none* of these characters again after the first two hours of the game. They are "not important", but they provide vital glimpses of a wider world that could exist outwith the boundaries of the main quest. The implications of the history they've lived – Paivel's sorrow at having to "bury babes he once held in his arms"; Ilen's recollections of his father's successful first-strikes against Ferelden tribes; Ashalle's reasons for withholding the sad story of your parentage – are all unnecessary to the plot of defeating the Blight, but they make Thedas feel lived in. Alive.

Before I move on: I could be very cruel to Veilguard here and count Ostagar as part of the prologue – which it is. In this case, the number of richly-characterised NPCs balloons massively. For the sake of the argument, I won't.

In Veilguard, the prologue has you interact with:

The nameless bartender, with whom you are given one singular dialogue choice (to persuade with violence or a silver-tongue).

Varric, whose goal in the opening fifteen minutes is to lead you to the next plot point.

Harding, who saves some nameless NPCs and comes with you to the next plot point.

Neve, who is the next plot point and who Varric and Harding already know, so they briefly introduce you to each other in between fights.

... Let's extend it a bit, otherwise that's a sad little list. In the follow-up mission to Arlathan Forest, you can talk to:

Strife and Irelin, faction leaders and darlings of the extended universe (aka, the heroes from another short story), who tell you who you're going to talk to next.

Bellara, who already knows who the Neve Gallus is, of course, and is all but ready to jump into action, even if you don't know who she is or her motivations for being out here in this pickle.

... Uh-oh, it's not looking that much better. Can we keep going? Including the D'Meta's Crossing section, you can also talk to:

Jahel, the surviving Veil Jumper you came looking for. This shouldn't really be counted, because it's not really a back-and-forth. He dies after approximately 2 lines of expository dialogue about the plot of this immediate section. His named Veil Jumper partner, Mihiva, is dead when you arrive.

Arguably, you could "interact" the nameless villagers afflicted by the Taint on the way there, but they do the 'crazed mutterings' and it's not really a back-and-forth, just an environmental button press when you approach.

Julius, the Mayor of D'Meta's Crossing, who you can lightly question, then decide his fate.

Morrigan, for the cameo, I suppose.

Look, I could tack Treviso and the Ossuary on. It might look slightly better. I could count the Caretaker and the faction shopkeepers with their AI-generated ass one-line introductions (but I absolutely will not, because that's ridiculous). The problem is, to me, transparent.

Veilguard is only interested in interactions with the "main characters" of Thedas – the cast of action heroes that surround your Rook. These include your companions, characters from previous games (Varric, Morrigan), and names from the comics or tie-in novels who you are supposed to whoop and cheer for when they appear without ever getting to find out who they are. If I was being unkind, I would even say it is uninterested in providing opportunities to converse with these characters given the superficial, skin-deep nature of the dialogue.

Of the short, sparse interactions you are allowed to participate in during Veilguard's opening, you can have a brief back-and-forth with at most three characters who are not other party members (past or present) or faction leaders. Two are named. I won't do the labour of counting lines of dialogue, but there are only a handful for all of these characters combined.

Throughout the game, these "other characters" exist to be beaten down in service to the plot, as quest markers in service to the plot, or to be saved in service to the plot. If you are lucky, they might have names, but they will never be so fleshed out that you could imagine an internal world for them. You can never imagine what their place in Thedas might be beyond the context you meet them in. They stand or sit or lie stationary at map markers, waiting to be talked to, and cease to exist once their dialogue tree is concluded.

The game tells you, at every possible opportunity, to keep moving. Move onto the next plot point, it says. Forget who you just talked to – they're not important like Neve, or Harding, or Lucanis, or Emmrich. You don't even need to know their names. They don't have an exclamation mark above their head. They weren't here five minutes ago, and they're not going to be here in five minutes. The words they say don't matter, it's just padding for the script to get you from Point A to Point B. Varric says you've got the elven gods Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain to take down, isn't that thrilling?

#dragon age #dragon age veilguard #veilguard critical #datv #on the plus side #i now remember why origins fucking SLAPS

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thefeverburningalive · 1 month ago

Note

Spencer reid x fem reader

Frinds to lovers

I mean, he is so in love with her

𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢

spencer reid x fem! reader <3

a/n: tysm for the request babes! feel free to send in your requests i love the inspooo. i decided to use one of my favorite billie eilish songs as inspiration since it always reminds me of spender <3. i love writing fics based on songs so also feel free to request song based fics too.

genre: fluff <3

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯•✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

wake up and smell the coffee, is your cup half full or empty?

the smell of coffee hit you as soon as you walked into the break room of the bullpen. after the last case, you’d been having trouble sleeping- which is something that comes along with the grueling job. “good morning y/n, coffee?” spencer’s warm voice flooded your ears. no matter how bad the days got, spencer was the highlight of said days. over the past three months your feelings for spencer have changed. he’d been your closest friend on the team, aside from penelope, since you’d joined. but recently you’ve been wanting to be more than just friends.

when we talk, you say it softly. but i love it when you’re. awfully quiet.

“yes please, thank you spence.” you spoke just as soft back, admiring spencer as he smiled and nodded while pouring some coffee into a mug. not just any mug, but ‘your’ mug. on your first day at the bau, you’d had dropped and broken a mug- and you where so upset and embarrassed about it. the next day, spencer bought a white mug decorated with small flowers, and designated it as yours without saying so. he poured the creamer and sugar into the mug as well, knowing exactly how you liked your coffee. spencer slid the mug next to you, and you picked it up with a bright smile.

you see, the peice of paper. could be a little greater.

two hours later you, spencer, and the rest of the team where sat in the jet. “this is so funsies i never get to come on the jet!” penelope was beaming across from you. “i brought some card games cmon guys let’s play!” so you, pen, spencer and derek played the silly game she brought. as you exchange cards back and fourth and continue the game, you find yourself constantly losing. you’re not a sore loser- but sometimes being on a team full of the smartest people in virginia has its downsides. there are days where you doubt your own intelligence. after the fourth time losing you sigh in defeat as derek re-shuffles and passes out cards. you start to zone out a bit while playing, almost giving up, until you feel a hand over your wrist. the warmth of spencer’s eyes when you look up at him sends shivers down your spine. he gives you a smile before retracting his hand. as you look down, you notice he’s slipped a winning card into your own hand.

show me, what you could make her. you never know until you try it.

a pit of jealously bubbled in your stomach as you listened to derek go on about the two women who continued to flirt with spencer. “boy genius skipped out on not one pretty girls number- but two! man i’m bringing rossi to the next bar i have to interview.” the team laughed and talked while spencer sat looking somewhat uncomfortable. you hadn’t noticed your own silence until you caught spencer’s sight. his eyes looked into yours, his expression unreadable. he mouthed ‘are you okay?’ to you with a furrowed brow. deciding that saying no was unacceptable, you settled on a smile and nod combination. spencer nodded in response with his own smile, despite not fully believing your answer. “so.. why turn them down reid?” emilys question made you snap back into the conversation. “uh well.. i don’t know i guess they aren’t really my type.” for a split second you’re almost sure he looks in your direction as he says that. “or maybe he’s just not looking to be in the dating scene.” jj was the next to speak up during the discussion. spencer shrugged at her comment. “you never know.” was all he responded with.

and you don’t have to keep it quiet.

to say this case had been rough was an understatement. it was taking a tole on the team for sure, but especially you. tears flowed from your eyes as you paced back and fourth inside your hotel room, your mind running a million miles an hour. before you could think about what to do next- you trip over a pair of shoes you’d left in the middle of the room. you fell to the ground ungrateful, managing to knock a few other things over. an exhausted growl/shout escaped your lips. everything was just getting too much for you. the tears continued to fall as you just sat on the floor exasperated. about five minutes later you hear a soft knock at your door. stumbling up- you open it, finding spencer standing there in some lose grey sweat pants and a black tshirt. if your brain wasn’t short circuiting before- it definitely was now. “s-spencer? what’re you doing here..” you tried to quickly wipe your tears but it was pointless. “i heard a bang and you yell.. i just wanted to make sure you were alright.” spencer was reading you like an open book. he had a feeling this case was getting to be a lot for you. more tears welled in your eyes “im so sorry- i-i wasn’t trying to be loud i fell and then i just-“ the feeling of spencer’s arms around you cut off your sentance. he tucked you head beneath his chin, making you nuzzle into the crook of his neck. “it’s okay y/n. you don’t have to hide and be silent. i’m here for you.”

and i know it makes you nervous. but i promise you it’s worth it.

the only thing on your mind the rest of the following day was spencer. the way it felt to be in his arms, the smell of his cologne, the way his thumb traced little circles onto your back. spencer was suffocating your mind. it wasn’t uncommon for you to constantly think about spencer some days- but today was different, because for the first time spencer actually showed a sign of maybe liking you more than a friend. this wasn’t the first time you’ve tried convincing yourself he had feelings for you. but it is the first time there’s actual proof. the line between being best friends and being lovers was growing increasingly thin. as much as you want to be together you feared you were at risk for losing the most important person weapon in your life right now. he was just within your reach. but the anxiety swarmed your mind and your nerves simply wouldn’t let you. no matter if it was worth it or not.

to show em’ everything you kept inside, don’t hide. don’t hide.

“uhm, spence?” the night had been like any other night at your apartment. chips, dips, and sci fi movies that spencer loves to make you watch. as the movie progressed, spencer seemed to get closer and closer to your side by the second. by the time his thigh was up against yours underneath the thin blanket sprawled between yours and his laps. that’s what led you to begin the conversation- that and the fact that the movie had finally ended. “yes?” it was hard to focus on the task at hand when he was looking at you with this big brown eyes. he tilted his head slightly when you didn’t answer at first. “i wanted to uh- well i wanted to talk about… something serious?” you didn’t mean for it to come out as a question; but your brain was already struggling to form the sentences. “of course, is everything alright?” spencer had a tone of worry in his voice. “n-no yeah everything fine i just.. well i’ve been kinda keeping something- from you- and i uhm. i don’t think i want to hide it anymore.” at this point you were looking down at your hands, fiddling with the end of the blanket beneath you. spencer didn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt your thoughts. “i’ve been too shy to say, but i..” you took a deep in-hail. “i like you spencer. in a more-than-friends type of like. a-and i don’t know how uhm- well how you feel but i couldn’t stop feeling like this i tried to hide it or stop it b-but i can’t. i feel so strongly for you and i-i just.. had to tell you. i get it if y-you don’t feel the same.. or if you want to leave .. but i hope you stay.” you felt like all the air had been stolen from your lungs. the words came so rapidly out of your mouth you didn’t even have time to properly think before you spoke- you didn’t even know there were tears in your eyes. you didn’t dare look up at spencer. you were filled with embarrassment and shame. you thought about getting up and apologizing- but before you could finish you felt his hand cup your cheek. the warmth of his hand added to the heat already in your face. his thumb wiped a tear that dared to spill from your eye. “don’t hide away.” that was all he said before his soft lips reached your own.

come out and play.

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #fluff #billie eilish #come out and play #spotify

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magics-neptunes-things · 6 months ago

Text

Struck By Love

Hi guys!

I received a lot of really nice comments about my first fic with Steph and some of you wanted a second part of this story, so here it is :)

Please enjoy ♥

And Happy New Year!

TW : Injury

Chapter Before

You probably never have been so happy in your life until now. After Emily and Kat’s wedding, you came back to London to begin your life again. It was nice to see your family back in Australia, but you must admit that you were eager to come back home. Like this you will be able to see Steph again, because the girl went back to her family in Melbourne to finish her trip here.

You didn’t take your ticket the same day as Steph, you were on the plane with Caitlin, Katie and Kyra instead. Hayley is already back in London at this time. Steph is too, but you decided that she won’t come to greet you. As you said it will have her Arsenal teammates, so it was better that way.

In January, you took her to several dates in London, enjoying being able to have quality time with her. You went to restaurants, for some walks with Calvin and you even went ice skating together.

You love having time with her, getting to know her better. You have been very honest with her about the depth and the reality of your feelings for her since the beginning, and she doesn’t seem scared about it. Which is a real relief, even if you don’t expect anything from her at any time.

You are happy to just wait for her and you let her take the lead about what she’s ready to do. The dynamic works great like this and you are secretly very happy to see that you weren’t the only one eager to have moments together. When you don’t propose to see her for two days in a row, Steph asks you if you are free the same day.

You helped her to find a flat and she finally has found something with a garden for Calvin and not far from Arsenal’s training centre. It’s closer to your flat than where she was leaving before, too.

On the fifth date, you had this conversation about knowing what the other wants about your relationship and even if no one asked the other to be her girlfriend formally, you were both clear about the fact that you will be exclusive. It was obvious for you, but Steph needed reassurance, and you were happy to give it to her.

Like if you would be able to look at someone else anyway.

There are times where you can’t see each other for almost four days because of your schedule and the games, and it’s always a little hard when it is happening. It’s the case today.

You left for Manchester on Friday to play Saturday against United and Steph left with Arsenal on Saturday to play against Brighton & Hove Albion on Sunday. You had your day off on Sunday, so you were able to watch Steph’s game, but you haven’t seen her for real since Thursday and it’s way too long for your liking.

It seems that is the case for Steph too, the girl is literally rushing to get her things in her bag and be able to leave the training centre. She almost doesn’t take the time to answer Kyra’s teasing while putting on her shoes and her coat.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” Katie arches an eyebrow, looking at Steph running around from her bench.

“I have a thousand things to do at home”

Steph answers casually and her answer seems to catch Beth’s attention. It is too casual to be real in the blonde’s opinion. But she doesn’t have the time to say something because soon Steph isn’t here anymore.

“What is she up to?” Kyra frowns at Beth.

“Dunno. That was weird”

Both look at each other before grinning and saying at the same time.

“We need to find out what is happening.”

********

You were far from this, finally parking your car in Steph’s street. You stopped in a local pizzeria to grab some pizza for the night, in a place you know that Steph likes. You very quickly learned her favourite things to eat or her command at Starbucks for example.

You don’t have to wait very long for Steph to open the door after you knock on it, it was only thirty seconds wait.

“Hello-ooo” you say before being grabbed by the collar of your jacket and taken inside.

Right after you feel Steph’s lips against yours and you put the pizza somewhere to be able to kiss her back easier. Your smile kind of broke the kiss but Steph doesn’t seem to mind. You kiss her cheek and her neck before taking a discreet but big breath of her perfume.

“I missed you” she whispers, and you hug her harder against you.

“Missed you too”

You still can’t believe that this situation is really happening. You never thought that you will be able to have this kind of relationship with Steph one day. You are scared to lose it now to be honest, but you try to concentrate on the present.

Steph finally drags you to her living room, where you just cuddle while eating your pizzas and looking at a film. Steph already took Calvin for his walk today and he’s peacefully asleep on his dog bed in the corner of the living room.

You aren’t really looking at the movie to be honest. You asked her a lot of questions to know how her four days really went. You wrote her messages, and you had her on the phone twice, but with her teammates around, it’s never really easy.

You are still secret for now, wanting to have this secret only between you two. You like it that way, finding Steph at the end of the day and being in your little bubble of love.

“That plaid is the best purchase I have ever made” Steph comments at some point.

You laugh while looking at the big and fluffy plaid who is big enough to easily cover both of you. It’s comfy and hot too. And it has the advantage of having Steph’s smell.

“I like it too” you smile, snuggling against her.

The pizza boxes are abandoned on the table with some pizza crusts inside. Like every time you command at this place, it was a great pizza. You haven’t eaten everything though, so if you are hungry during the night you will have something to eat.

“How are your hands still so cold?”

You smirk when Steph wiggle to get away from you, passing now both of your hands under her shirt.

“Babe stop” she giggles.

But you don’t stop, amused by her reaction. When your hands are hot enough against her skin, you kiss her, happily taking advantage of your position. She kisses you back and you kind of lose any notion of anything when she passes her arms around your neck to take you against her.

You are still kissing several minutes after, when Steph’s door is opened by a non-really discreet Kyra. But between the noise of the TV and what you are doing, it would be almost impossible to hear anything. Thank god, no one decided to burgle Steph’s house tonight.

Steph is now lying on you, still under the plaid, but during your making out session your hands never left her body. You have now one of them on her bum, while the other is in her hair. Steph’s hands are softly scratching your abs, a gesture that makes you half-crazy.

“Oh my god what the hell is happening here?!”

Kyra’s scream makes both of you jump and Steph avoids falling off the couch only thanks to your excellent reflexes. Seeing your reactions, Calvin jumps from his bed to start to bark at Kyra.

“No one ever taught you the use of a door?” Steph asks after having calmed Calvin.

“You weren’t answering! And I used the key you gave me” Kyra answers, pointing an accusing finger at Steph.

Steph groans and you silently nod somewhere in your head to take this key away from Kyra as soon as possible.

“What is happening between you two? I thought you were straight!” Kyra asks Steph, frowning at you.

You look at each other, not really knowing what to answer. You are both standing now in front of the couch where you were very intimate several seconds ago.

“Being engaged to a man doesn’t make me straight. And it’s none of your business.” Steph rolls her eyes at her.

The big sister versus little sister energy makes you smile, but you don’t show it too much, letting cowardly Steph deal with her pest.

“I just saw you with your tongue in her mouth, it’s totally my business now”

Little sister energy.

When you see that Steph is looking at you for some help, you don’t hesitate to stand at her high though, putting a hand on her back. You feel the nerves getting out of her body a little bit under your touch.

“Was it why you were in such a hurry earlier?” Kyra asks again, softer this time.

“Yes” Steph sighs “We have this… things going on since December and even if I haven’t talked about it to anyone it makes me really happy. I just wanted to keep it for us for now”

Steph throws a quick look at you when she uses the word “things”, and you answer her with a soft smile. Like you said before, you never put a real label on your relationship.

“Are you serious about it?”

It’s a little passive-aggressive now and the question is directed towards you. You arch an eyebrow, not really used to have to face an angry Kyra with arms crossed on her chest.

“I am” you answer calmly.

“Good. Because I let an asshole coming in her life once, I won’t let another one doing the same thing”

“God Kyra, shut up”

A pillow flows right in Kyra’s face. Steph seems to be really uncomfortable about Kyra’s statement, but you find it cute instead. And you are glad to see that Steph has friends like Kyra in her life.

“Will I have shared custody?” you joke to Steph, looking in Kyra’s direction.

“She’s Mini’s kid, not mine”

Later that evening, after having kicked Kyra out and making her swear not to say anything to anyone, you find yourself with Steph in her bed. You are scrolling on your phone and texting some members of your family in Australia while Steph is lying on your chest.

You are playing with her hair too. You are very comfortable like this and you could stay here until the end of the world. Steph seems lost in her thoughts, unless she’s falling asleep. But you don’t interrupt her, knowing that she will talk to you if she needs to share anything.

It’s only when she turns her head to look at you that you put your phone on the bed, your other hand still in her hair.

“Is everything alright?” you ask softly.

She hums for only an answer, before going up on your body to put her head on your shoulder and not on your chest. You let her, passing your hand around her waist and kissing her head.

“I missed you”

Like this afternoon you feel your heart miss a beat and you love the warm feeling her words provide in you.

“I missed you too Stephy” you smile at her. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing really, just that I hope Kyra will know how to shut her mouth”

“I’m sure she will”

You have a good feeling about it, Kyra might be a little pest when she wants it, but she’s very protective about the people she loves. And you know that even if you aren’t close to her like Steph or Mini, she loves Steph. And she will do what is needed for Steph’s good.

You kiss Steph’s hair again and when she looks up you put a tender kiss on her lips. You both are pretty tired after your weekend so you quickly both fall asleep after that.

********

In late February, you are back with the Matildas for the Shebelieves Cup. You made the journey with Steph of course, but also Kyra, Caitlin, Hayley and all the girls playing in England. You are a little sad to be seated next to Charli and not Steph, who is next to Mini.

You would probably have a better sleep if you were able to put your head on Steph’s shoulder, but the travel passed anyway. You are not with Steph either in your hotel rooms, this time sharing the room with Alanna. Steph is almost on the other side of the floor every time which practically prevents you from sneaking into her room at some point.

So you are a little bit moody this morning at breakfast, between the jet lag and the fact that you haven’t slept very well because Alanna is snoring like a damn combine harvester.

You are under your hood while eating your mountain of cereals alone, until Mini, Harper and Kyra come to sit with you.

“Hello sunshine. Mind if we sit here?” Kyra smirks.

You groan for any answer, making the girl giggle. You then put your eyes on Harper, who seems sulking too.

“Are you grumpy too because they don’t have any Froot Loops and only those disgusting Kellog’s?” Harper asks you, eyebrows frowned.

“Sure am Buddy” you answer. “And because no one told me that I will be sleeping with a tractor”

“Sorry, I thought that Lani’s snores were known by anyone” Caitlin says from the table next to yours.

Your other teammates are coming to have breakfast little by little around you now.

“What is known by anyone?” Steph asks casually, sitting in front of Caitlin.

Your apparition makes a funny thing in your stomach and you wonder quickly until when those butterflies will stay.

“That Y/N slept with Lani” Harper answers with all her innocence, making you choke on your cereal, Steph spilling her coffee and Kyra dying laughing. “But Lani did it like a tractor”

“Harper, you can’t phrase things like that” a laughing Mini intervenes.

“God” you mumble, holding your forehead.

You throw a tentative glance towards Steph, above Kyra’s head who is always laughing like crazy. She receives a slap behind her head by Caitlin, distracting everyone’s attention while you and Steph exchange a glance.

She doesn’t seem disturbed by what just happened, but on the other hand you never slept with Alanna. She even has an amused smile on her face.

That moment is quickly known by all the team of course, and it makes Alanna laugh too. You have to admit that it’s pretty funny and now that you know that Steph hasn’t taken anything badly, it’s easier to laugh about it.

You are more concentrated on not looking at Steph all day, though. Not for the same reasons as before. Before it was not to be caught by Steph herself. Now it’s to avoid being discovered by someone. You find it even harder now though, because you have the right to do it.

You don’t know if Steph’s smile will stay on her face all day, however, because all the team seems to take the joke really by heart. You received some comments about it all day, from your teammates but from people on the staff too. It even went viral on social media.

Alanna doesn’t seem to mind though, given the way she takes you by your shoulders to drag you back into your room before dinner.

“Come on Casanova, show me again some moves you got”

You roll your eyes but follow her anyway, taken away from any idea of sneaking out somewhere in the city with Steph. You haven’t been able to talk to her all day long and she doesn’t know you wanted to do that, but you still miss that plan.

Of course, when you are in the room you share with Alanna, she goes to her bed while you do the same. On yours. If it needs to be said, you never had any interest in the blonde, even if you like her very much. As a friend.

You always have a crossword book with you and that is with what you were occupying yourself when you feel your phone vibrating on your nightstand, where you put it to charge.

From Pudding 💞 Having fun?

You roll your eyes and disconnect your phone from the cable of your charging. You then sit cross-legged on your bed, your book forgotten.

From You No 🥺 I miss you What are you doing?

From Pudding 💞 Nothing much. Just watching Kyra and Charli misbehave with Harper

From You If I manage to escape my room, would you like to go for a walk? We have time to do it until dinner

From Pudding 💞 I’d love to 😌

You smile and you lurk towards Alanna to know what excuse you could use to get out of the room without being suspect.

“I’m going to take something to drink, do you want something?”

“Mh? No, thanks” Alanna mumbles back without looking at you.

From You I’m coming. Find me in front of the hotel?

You don’t wait for Steph’s answer before going up, putting your shoes and your hoodie back and going out of the room. You don’t see anyone when you reach the entrance of the hotel, or at least anyone from the Australian team.

Steph is already waiting for you, hidden in the corner of the building and you hurry your path to meet her.

Your first move is to go for a hug, but Steph stops you with a hand on your stomach.

“Someone still can see us here” she explains to you with a soft smile.

You nod and follow her steps, putting your hands in the pocket of your hoodie instead. Being next to her like this without being able to touch her is torturous for you. And you are together for only two months, you wonder how a couple can hide their relationship for years.

“How are you?” you ask her after several meters.

“Fine. It’s strange to be with you all day without being able to really be with you, you know?”

“Yeah. I feel the same”

You bite your lip softly, wondering how to approach the teasing you have to endure all day. You don’t know how she feels about it and you don’t want to assume anything. But it’s finally Steph who talks again first.

“But Kyra made me realise that not talking to you at all might be suspect for the others too. I mean we were friends before and we were quite close to each other, you know?”

You nod slowly at that. It was true, you went for example in the vineyard with her before your first kiss at Emily’s wedding.

“She’s right” you smile, relieved to realise that you are finally authorized to spend some time with her. “It’s weird that this advice comes from Kyra though”

Steph smirks and, now that you are away from the hotel, grabs your arm with hers. You let her do it, quickly kissing her temple.

“She might have teased me a little bit” Steph admits after some time.

“About us?”

“Yes, and that rumour about you and Alanna. And the fact that you seemed moody all morning too”

“I was, I really haven’t slept enough” you shrug before frowning. “But I’m sorry about the teasing”

“It’s okay” Steph smiles at you. “I know it’s not the truth”

You have to admit that Steph is way more chill than you are. Or maybe less jealous? Maybe both, because you totally remember about you being jealous when she was dancing and laughing with Mackenzie at Emily’s wedding for example.

You stay silent, a little bit ashamed about it. But your silence seems to tease Steph’s curiosity.

“It’s not true, right?”

“Oh, yes. Of course it isn’t” you hasten to confirm.

You free your arm to pass it around Steph’s waist, holding her against you. You were still walking, a little bit randomly to be honest. You haven’t really discovered the horizons; you had to travel a lot in the USA for the Cup, and you would rather be peacefully in your room than walking around.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

You turn your head towards the Café Steph is looking at and nod. You’re not a big fan of coffee to be honest, but you know that Steph is. You follow her inside, letting her pass her command first before asking for a tea yourself.

“How do you feel about tomorrow?” you ask the other Aussie when you are seated.

“Concentrated. We need to be if you want to win”

“I wasn’t asking my Captain” you smirk above your tea. “I was asking you”

Just like she does sometimes, she looks at you with a way softer look than usual, and a cute smile, and it makes you melt. So much that you have to be really concentrated to follow the next part of the conversation.

The next day, you are playing against Colombia and when you enter the stadium, you feel pretty confident. Not because you are sure that you will win, but because you know that the team will do as much as possible to win the game. You are starting, positioned just behind Caitlin Foord in the middle of the pitch. It makes you stand in the middle of the players but you still manage to have a good view of your whatever Steph is.

You managed to go back to the hotel without no one asking you any questions yesterday, Alanna easily believing your story about being asked by Kyra for a random Uno game.

The first part of the game went great, to be honest. Colombia is a tough opponent, but you are winning 3-1, thanks to two goals from Caitlin and a really well managed free kick by Steph. You even managed to have an assist for one of the goals.

Around the seventy-minute Steph got subbed, just like Caitlin for Michelle Heyman. Your teammate from Tottenham, Hayley, is still on the pitch, just like Kyra.

In the 76 minutes, Colombia managed to score their second goal making 3-2 and you knew from that moment that they will push as much as possible to score a third one. Mackenzie is able to make some great stops and at the 82 Hayley almost scores, the ball hitting the corner of the post before going right in the stands.

At the 84, Mackenzie stops a ball from a corner and throws it quickly in the front, where you are waiting with Michelle. The blonde catches the ball and you follow her, facing two Colombians. You easily catch the pass Michelle offers you and run towards the goalkeeper, not expecting a single second a tackle coming from behind.

That is what happens though, your ankle painfully trapped between two legs, making you fall on the ground. It hurts and between the pain and how hard you fall on the ground, you have trouble breathing completely again.

You don’t hear the chaos above you, Ellie and Mini screaming at your opponent, the red card she takes or even the referee trying to calm everyone down. You just try to breathe, focusing your attention on your throbbing ankle and the design of Kyra’s boots, protectively crouch somewhere near your head.

“Hey it’s okay, you're okay” she says to you.

“She’s bleeding, we have to take her shoe and sock off”

You don’t recognize which one of the paramedics is talking, but you groan in protest when they grab your ankle. You hear the referee asking them to take you outside the pitch and some of your teammates protesting something, but you don’t really care. You didn’t have to deal with a lot of injuries in your life, but this one really hurts. It scares you, to be honest.

You hear the applause of the crowd when you are taken inside the stadium on the stretcher, but you don’t really react, hiding your face in both of your arms.

It’s way quieter when you are inside the infirmary, where a nurse gives you something for the pain. You thank her quietly, drinking the fresh water she gives you soon after with appreciation.

“We have to put some stitches on before going to hospital for a scan. Given how she takes you down, you might have something broken”

“Great” you sigh, looking at the ceiling.

Your mind goes to Steph. You would like to have her with you, but she’s the captain and has other duties. You are only friends for the others and if one of them should come with you, it would be more logical for Hayley to come with you.

But you are happily surprised to see that it’s in fact Steph who comes inside the room almost twenty minutes later, while you are still waiting for the stitches. She looks worried, but you feel your body relax as soon as she’s here.

“How are you feeling?” she asks, frowning.

“Better. The nurse gave me some morphine. But I have to go to the hospital to make a scan”

She sighs and strokes your cheek tenderly, before the door of the room opens again, making her retract her hand like if your cheek was on fire.

You look at the nurse when she comes inside, followed by a man you haven’t seen before.

“Y/N if you are ready, we are too”

She nods towards the needles and compresses in the trail she just put on a table next to you, and you can’t help but make a grimace. You are totally not ready for it. You hate needles.

“It’s going to be okay” she says, putting her hand on your arm in a comforting gesture. “Maybe it’s better if you leave?”

She turns towards Steph who is still standing in the room and you put your eyes on her too, just in time to see her frowning gaze looking at the nurse’s gesture.

“Oh. Uh, sure. I just wanted to give Y/N her things”

She puts the bag she was holding until now on a chair and turns her heels to leave, but you don’t want her to. So, you call her, almost shyly.

“Can you stay with me and maybe hold my hand? Please?”

“Of course”

She doesn’t hesitate a single second before coming back near you, sitting on a second chair and grabbing your hand.

“Thanks” you breathe. “I hate needles”

“I didn’t know”

She tilts her head curiously towards you, and you shrug. It’s not really something you talk about during your first dates usually, until you are dating a nurse maybe. You look at the doctor who is preparing his things, totally ignoring you three. You are nervous, so much that Steph can feel the tension in your body.

“Look at me. Just concentrate yourself on me”

You take a deep breath and oblige, your eyes easily falling on her. She hasn’t taken a shower after the game; she’s still wearing her kit under her jacket. She still has her bun, and she looks effortlessly pretty, even after a game like this. If you were alone, you would have said to her how beautiful she is.

It seems that she understands really easily what you are thinking about though, because you see her cheeks becoming a little more red. It makes you smile and want to kiss her. It’s frustrating, but at least like this you kind of forget what is happening near your ankle.

“Finish” the doctor says before standing up. “Ellen here will come with you to the hospital, so you have a real follow-up. And I think one of the members of the Australian team will come too”

You don’t see Steph frowning at that. You nod looking at the doctor leaving the room and the nurse following to get everything needed.

“I’ll go take a shower and I’ll come to the hospital as soon as possible, okay?” Steph says softly.

You nod again and sigh, letting your head go against the pillow of the bed. You watch Steph when she stands to kiss you, making you smile.

“Thank you for coming”

“Of course” she smiles and kisses you one more time.

She gets up just in time, the nurse coming back with all she needs. She makes sure that you have everything you need before taking you to the ambulance for the hospital. You are already on crutches, and you had hoped not to have to take the ambulance, but it seems like it’s how things are done here.

A little bit dramatic in your opinion.

Ellen and Kate, your team nurse, talked your ears off during the journey to the hospital and are still doing it when you arrive in your assigned room. The team asked for one for you to be able to take a shower and you are really grateful for it.

“Do you need help?” Ellen asks.

“Uh. No, thank you” you mumble, feeling your cheeks getting a little red.

“Look at you, Casanova” Kate giggles. “Alanna wasn’t enough, you need someone else already?”

“Oh god” you sigh.

“Is Alanna your girlfriend?”

“No” you roll your eyes.

You let Kate explain the story behind it, ignoring the different laughs coming from it while texting your parents and the Matildas’ WhatsApp group. Then you write to Steph too.

From You Are you soon here? The Nurse proposed her help for my shower

From Pudding 💞 That is not funny

You don’t have any other answer from her, and you sigh softly before putting your phone on your bed. Time to shower. You take the fresh underwear that Steph packs you with a fresh shirt and shorts too. You are glad to avoid the shirt from the hospital though.

“If Alanna isn’t your girlfriend, you still can take my help” Ellen adds, apparently more seriously.

You hesitate a little about what to answer at that. She seems serious about her help, but still teasing-flirting a little bit too.

“I still have a girlfriend” you finally answer.

You don’t know if Steph will be happy with that, like you said you never put a label on your relationship. But at least Ellen will understand that you are not interested.

“Do you?” Kate asks you with a big surprise.

“Yes” you smirk. “But it’s very fresh and you are under professional secrecy so you can’t say anything to anyone”

“You have a girlfriend, and you make jokes about sleeping with someone else?” Ellen asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I… I’m not the one who started it” you try to defend yourself.

“She’s right” Kate has your back “The situation has somewhat escaped her”

Ellen hums, apparently not totally convinced about your answers, but you decide not to give too much importance. First because you have to take this shower before they come to take you for the scan. And second because you will probably not see her again and that you don’t really care about what she might think.

After the shower, you went for your scan with Kate, who walks you happily around the hospital in a wheelchair.

And when you are back in your room, you are happy to see Kyra and Steph waiting for you, sitting next to Ellen. Their hair are still wet from their shower.

“How are you feeling?” Steph asks.

“I’m okay” you shrug, passing from the wheelchair to the bed. “How was the end of the game?”

You already asked this to Kate when you left for the hospital, but you want to have your teammates’ opinion. The good news is that Australia won, even if it was a close one.

“I have to go” Ellen says after Kyra’s explanation. “Will you be okay there?”

“Yeah thanks” you smile politely at her.

“It was nice meeting you” Ellen squeezes your arm affectionately.

Your eyes cross Steph’s when she leaves the room, before looking at Kyra who seems to have the time of her life.

“Do you think I can eat something?” you ask Kate.

“Sure, I’ll go to the cafeteria to grab you a sandwich or something. Do you want something else?”

You shake your head and she gets up, imitated by Kyra who claims to be hungry too. You don’t know if it’s true or if she wants to leave you alone with Steph, but you are happy to be alone with her a little bit.

What you said earlier when it was only you with Kate and Ellen comes back in your mind and you wriggle a little bit on your bed.

“Why are you acting weird?”

“I’m not weird” you mumble without looking at her.

“Don’t you dare tell me she came to help you under the shower” she says sternly.

You wince at her tone but shakes your head, searching for her gaze this time. If you are weird, she seems tense. Like very tense. You don’t want to upset her, but it seems more important for you to tell the truth.

Steph had crossed her arms on her chest, still seated in the chair in front of your bed.

“It’s not that” you say, nervously passing your hand in your hair. “But I might said that I have a girlfriend to her”

Steph looks at you blankly for several seconds, so much that you start to think that she’s waiting for you to add something.

“How is that a problem?” Steph asks.

“Kate was here too”

“And… That’s all? You seem so uneasy because you told a girl who was hitting on you that you already have someone?”

She doesn’t seem annoyed anymore; you almost have the impression that she’s repressing a smile. And you don’t really understand what the hell is happening.

“We agreed to keep it hidden for several times and we never discussed about being girlfriend” you frown.

Steph is totally smiling now, finally leaving her chair to come sit in front of you on your bed. She was upset and now she seems… softened?

“I am glad that you put a stop to her flirting with that information” Steph grabs your hand while talking “And I know none of us asked the other officially, but I would love to make it a little bit more official. Not by saying it to everyone, but at least by putting a real word on our relationship.”

“So… If I, hypothetically, ask you to be my girlfriend, would you say yes?”

“Hypothetically, yes” she smirks

And she laughs when she sees you rolling your eyes. You are not mad at her for her teasing though, how could you when her laugh is the most beautiful thing ever? You decide to try one more time, a little bit more seriously this time.

“Stephanie-Elise Catley, would you please be my girlfriend?”

“I’d love to”

You have time to see her smile before she leans in your direction, and you finish the gesture to kiss her.

Steph Catley is your girlfriend.

You don’t know what you did to be so lucky, but the happiness you feel right now makes you pass your arms around her waist, and you take her with you when you let yourself fall on the bed.

She lets out a high short scream when you make her fall on you, but her lips are soon very occupied again.

Both of you are able to hear when the door of the room is open though and you turn your head, waiting to be facing Kyra. But it’s actually Kate, holding your scan in one hand and your sandwich in the other.

“Oh… New girlfriend. I see”

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso one shot #steph catley x reader #steph catley #steph catley imagine

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 1 year ago

Text

Murder, Love, and Destiny: An Eridan Ampora Character Study

Warnings for things from Homestuck, like discussions of child abuse, mental illness, murder, suicide, etc. etc.

Because there's a huge wall of text after this point, I'm going to summarize what I hope to convince you of in bullet point format, and then hope you'll actually read the rest of the text before arguing with me about it.

Eridan is the least casteist highblood, if you ignore all the slurs.

Those are his emotional support slurs.

Pale EriKar was not only canon, but set up to be endgame.

Eridan is incredibly plot-relevant, thematically relevant, and was definitely originally intended to be brought back to life, alongside the other dead trolls.

He's Sad.

The first thing we have to establish is what counts as "canon" for the purpose of this essay. I am only counting the original comic up to Game Over, after which there's a general consensus that Hussie kind of gave up on his original planned ending, and slapped together something that most people hate. So I am immediately disqualifying Pesterquest, supplementary material, fanworks deemed canon, the epilogues, and Homestuck^2.

Moreover, we are taking Hussie's commentaries with a grain of salt, for two reasons. The first reason is that I firmly believe - and will be arguing - that the original plan was to bring Eridan (and the other dead trolls) back; therefore, Hussie (who has a track record of playing coy with future plot twists) can't speak too fondly of him, lest he give it away. The second reason for de-emphasizing Hussie's words is that, post-retcon, Hussie isn't very well going to say that he had plans for a better ending, and then didn't execute on them; to save face, he has to act as though his trashing of several prior plot threads, including but not limited to Eridan, was the plan all along.

Therefore, this essay will not be putting too much emphasis on Word of God, and will instead be relying on textual evidence from the comic itself, of which there is plenty. So without further ado:

Eridan is a Consummate Murderer.

The reason I'm starting with this point is that, far more than any other, this truth lies at the core of his being. Eridan is formally introduced to us with a murder, and he's haunted by an overpowering genocide complex. He outright describes to Rose at one point that "killin is all i evver done practically," and uses "murder" as an expletive (ie "swweet stinkin murder"). With a conservative estimate of 5 kills per week for 4 sweeps (Vriska looks VERY young when she has to start killing, and Eridan was likely a similar age when he began), both Eridan and Vriska easily have bodycounts above 2000 - the real number is probably even higher.

At this point, many raise an objection that Eridan is only killing lusii, but I believe we need to count his kills as troll murders, for three reasons: first, a dead lusus results in the orphaned troll being culled; second, one has to assume he has had cases of trolls trying to defend their lusii, or coming after him for vengeance; and third - and most importantly - Eridan HIMSELF is thinking about the orphaned trolls.

Compare Feferi: Go Home:

That should keep her happy for a while. At least until she dies.

To Eridan: Go Home:

That should keep her happy for a while. And make a freshly orphaned troll somewhere very sad.

So Eridan, to a much greater extent than even Feferi, is thinking about the orphaned trolls he's leaving behind, and considers his own actions to be murder.

Now that we've established the facts regarding his murders - a rough bodycount, and the fact that, by his own admission, he barely had any hobbies outside of it - we can move on to the effect that it's had on him. It's not very good!

Vriska's manipul8tions and murders had to be done for her own sake - if she ever stopped, she died. Therefore, much of Vriska's personality revolves around justifying her own actions so she doesn't have to reckon with her softer feelings, like guilt or kindness - which she expresses would be viewed as scandalous by others of her caste.

But if Eridan ever stops feeding Gl'bgolyb, everybody dies. The stakes he has riding on his shoulders are, at all times, the fate of all trolls, including all his friends. Given Dualscar's title was "Orphaner," it's implied that killing lusii for Gl'bgolyb has always been a violet blood's duty, and is seen as such by the others, which is why nobody expresses gratitude for his hard work even a single time.

Which brings us to our next point:

Eridan is Crushed by Anxiety.

If Eridan stops killing lusii, everybody - especially his friends, but everybody else, too - dies.

If Eridan ever shows guilt or kindness, he'll be considered "weak" by the standards of highbloods - he shares this with Vriska.

Eridan is expected, by aristocratic tradition, to take on the mantle of his ancestor Dualscar and finish his work. Dualscar met a comedically cringefail end, so this is a massive undertaking.

Before finding out that god tiering is an option - so, for nearly his entire life - Eridan has had to live with the expectation that he will outlive all of his friends. The lowbloods from culling or dying on the battlefield, the highbloods from old age, and Feferi from being killed by the Empress when she gets old enough.

(This is reflected in who he talks to the most - Feferi, who's the only one with a natural lifespan longer than his, Vriska, who's a highblood, Kanaya, who's practically guaranteed to survive into adulthood, and Karkat, whose anonblood allows Eridan to give him the benefit of the doubt.)

Also if he can't land his concupiscent quadrants he'll die from that too, but that seems pretty secondary to the rest of his concerns.

He can't even make friends with the other highbloods, because sea dwellers are expected to hate and antagonize them.

He had a free ticket into adulthood, but would almost certainly be expected to join the army and serve as a commander. That is to say, his fate of performing the role of a vicious, murderous sea dweller seems dreadfully inevitable to him.

NO WONDER he can't stop having emotional breakdowns. NO WONDER his chatlogs swing wildly from relentless self-aggrandizement to traumadumping. NO WONDER he's obsessed with murder and death and genocide.

Doc Scratch calls him a "vengeful boy on the path of nihilism," and it's not hard to see why: Eridan's entire life has been about living up to the role imposed on him by society, sacrificing his own time and sanity for everyone else, which he "nevver got any appreciation for anywway." And all he had to look forward to was more of the same, all his friends dropping dead one by one before him. For Eridan, there has never been any hope.

SGRUB could have been a way out for him, but a combination of his own terrible choices, spurred on by his anxieties, and his teammates' unwillingness to knock some sense into him, meant that he only wound up mired even deeper in his hopelessness.

We all know about how Eridan wouldn't stop killing the angels on his planet, provoking their aggression and turning it into a ball of death. How he was definitely not supposed to be doing this, and how his stubborn insistence on it led to his further ostracization from the rest of the group. The thing is, when we look at his angel-murders from the point of view that Eridan's entire life has been about murdering things or else Something Bad™ happens, it actually starts to become... kind of sad.

KARKAT: BETWEEN A TRIGGERHAPPY PRINCE WITH A GOD WEAPON BLASTING ANYTHING THAT TWITCHED AND A MILLION CRAZED ANGELS HE DELIBERATELY ENRAGED, IT WASN'T WHAT I'D CALL AN IDEAL SOCIAL HUB. KARKAT: IF YOU WERE LONELY WHY DIDN'T YOU VENTURE OUT MORE OFTEN? ERIDAN: wwell i wwoulda but nobody else wwas vvolunteerin to pick up the slack on angel killin duties

Killing the angels is something he feels like his has to do, because his entire life has been about killing things he doesn't want to kill. He's unable to break out of that mindset on his own, and his unpleasant personality has scared off anyone who might want to help. No one on the team tries to understand his thought process on a deeper level, not even Karkat, who just tells him it was an idiotic thing to do without addressing his underlying anxieties at all. Indeed, "nobody understands."

And this is really the root of why I think so many people get the wrong read on Eridan - Eridan is constantly contradicting himself, constantly denying his own feelings, constantly pushing an image that he doesn't actually believe in, and constantly insisting that he's fine with all the horrible shit in his life - that he likes it, even. After all, he can't admit to his guilt for his murders, or how much he doesn't want to watch his friends die, or how scared he is about the future - that'd be weakness!

CC: I can't look after you anymore. CA: I DIDNT EVER NEED ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER ME CA: i was totally fuckin fine my ambitions were noble

You see his contradictory nature with his stated love of history, which he only ever offhandedly mentions - because he's not actually that interested in history, it's just something that's expected of someone of his station. And you see it with his wavy accent, which he himself calls "weird" and drops when he's trying to be emotionally sincere. And you see it with his dumbass outfit, which is very clearly an imitation of Dualscar (with the only exception being the wizard-ass scarf, because wizards are his actual interest. I don't believe he likes fashion. I genuinely believe - and Eridan himself says so - that he basically has no hobbies outside of murder).

Even being proud to be a sea dweller is pretty much an outright lie:

CC: You can't )(ave t)(e sort of affinity for "our kind" t)(at you profess if you've only spent, w)(at... CC: A few days underwater, maybe? IN YOUR W)(OL-E LIF-E!

One that he tells because he's SCARED OF THE OCEAN. Because he knows what lives in the ocean, because he's been feeding it his entire life. I see a lot of people who give Eridan an interest in marine life, and I'm telling you, that's just got no basis in canon. He's fucking TERRIFIED of the sea.

And for that matter, land dweller genocide. Eridan doesn't want to do it. Both Feferi AND his internal narration call him out for not actually wanting to do it. He outright states he wouldn't kill his friends.

CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

But he feels like he HAS to want it, HAS to believe in it, HAS to be talking about it constantly, because that's what's expected from him as a sea dweller, and a sea dweller is ALL that he will get to be. The mutation that puts a violet streak in his hair is damning. It's a fate he feels like he can't escape. Which brings us to:

Eridan is Not Actually Casteist, Well He Is But Not Like That, It's Complicated

Secondary title: Those Are His Emotional Support Slurs, Okay

In the exact same vein (haha) as secretly not wanting all the land dwellers dead, Eridan also genuinely doesn't feel like he's better than lower blood castes. Vriska and Equius obviously put quite a bit of stock into being nobility, and both have acted superior to Karkat for it. Feferi actually revels in her high status, and while she is genuinely well-meaning, she's not as interested in abolishing casteism as she is in changing the meaning of "culling" specifically (the hemocaste, aristocracy, and casteism still very much exist in a Beforus under her rule). Gamzee MIGHT be the only highblood less casteist than Eridan, but then again, as soon as he snaps, he does say a lot of casteist stuff to Equius, although it's unclear how serious he is, and he also proceeds to get really into his weird highblood clown cult.

Meanwhile, Eridan - despite all his slurs and talk of genocide - does not actually try to "pull rank" on a lowblood for being a lower caste than him with a single exception. That exception is Sollux... after he's already shown having entirely caste-neutral opinions on Sollux:

CC: But Sollux finally came t)(roug)(, and now I believe t)(e full c)(ain is complete! CA: man that guy CA: hes a fuckin drama machine it is fuckin pathetic CC: YOUR STUPID FIS)(Y FAC-E IS T)(-E DRAMA MAC)(IN-E T)(AT DO-ES NOT)(ING BUT W)(IN-E AND GLUB. CC: 38P CA: fuck SORRY CC: Anyway you s)(ouldn't say t)(at about )(im, )(e is a )(ero and )(e saved my life. CA: yeah sorry

CA: my feelins seem petty and meaninless noww CA: she had better things to wworry about than my ovverwwrought bullshit CA: like the dead guy wwho savved her CA: so forget it thanks anywway

It's only AFTER he's mad at Sollux for dating Feferi that he starts going in on Sollux with casteist rhetoric... which is treated as unrequited flirting and not serious casteism:

ERIDAN: hey finless this doesnt concern those wwith mustard sludge slippin through their vveins ERIDAN: its a matter for royalty only ERIDAN: so keep your mouth closed or ill slit you open ovver my next meal SOLLUX: w/e bro, not iintere2ted. FEFERI: -Eridan, please! I don't want to see any more dueling. FEFERI: Don't try to provoke )(im. It's not like I don't know w)(at you're doing! You keep trying to spark a rivalry wit)( )(im to get me to auspisticize between you two, and pull us out of our quadrant! FEFERI: It is t)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book. It didn't work t)(en and it won't work now!

THEY don't even think he's being casteist.

In fact, directly contradicting this earlier argument he has with Feferi:

CC: T)(is is t)(e last time I will say t)(is. CC: W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!! CC: GLUB. >38( CA: pshh CA: hemospectrum begs to differ

He OUTRIGHT states his real feelings here:

CA: im the biggest fuckin idiot who ever lived CA: i cant BELIEVE i just opened up to you like a chump when i knew what was comin CA: i am one sad fuckin brinesucker CA: overemotional sappy trash youre right im not better than anybody CA: im worse than anybody CA: EVERYBODY CA: all the bodies

So the question of "is Eridan casteist" has an answer of "kind of, but also no." Eridan DOES espouse the rhetoric; he's constantly saying stuff that a casteist sea dweller "should" be saying. However, if you look at his ACTIONS, and the way he actually treats people, he doesn't actually care about blood color. He'll hit on anybody, and he's rude as fuck to everybody. The real problem with him is that he's terrible to talk to, not that he's discriminatory.

That's the thing about Eridan. Understanding him means looking past the way he presents himself, the lies he tells to himself, and even, at times, the way the narration presents him. His "overblown emotional theatrics" seem a lot less overblown when his problems ARE so real, deep-seated, and constantly causing him an unimaginable amount of anguish.

The problem is, the main people he has to bounce those problems against are Feferi, Vriska, and Kanaya, three of the people most comfortable with their privileged positions, for whom Eridan's genuine emotional distress seems like needless melodrama. Feferi loves being a princess, Vriska enjoys her noble privileges, Kanaya doesn't need to worry about culling. But for Eridan, his noble status, and the duties and expectations placed on him for it, have caused him nothing but pain - of course he would feel like nobody understands. Most of his closest friends genuinely don't, nor do they try to.

Because that's what he is at his core - a traumatized fucking child, who doesn't see any way out. Eridan is not a casteist genocidal sea dweller... he just wishes he was one, and tries to be one, because if he actually was one, he wouldn't feel so awful and scared and sad all the time. He'd be normal, like his friends.

The reason he constantly spouts anti-land dweller rhetoric and uses casteist language is to assuage this cognitive dissonance. That's why he has to come off so strong, present himself in such an aggrandized way, act like such a douchebag. They're his emotional support slurs. He doesn't actually believe what he says, which means he's a Bad Sea Dweller, which means he's Failing, which means Something Bad Will Happen, so he'd better get his ass in line and say something casteist!

And it's all made worse because:

Eridan is Dumb of Ass (and True of Word)

Oh my god you guys he's so stupid that it hurts.

Okay, that's not entirely fair. Eridan is clearly well-educated and book smart; he has some of the most elegant prose out of the trolls, and he's prone to going off on insane rants with it. (Actually, his language gets more flowery and showy when he's trying to impress a stranger, and gets progressively more laid back, chill, and even kind of "bro"-y when he starts talking to people he doesn't feel like he needs to impress.)

CA: at this point i find all her adorable black pixie dabblins to be prime kiddie playtime shit CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels CA: and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince GG: wow what are you talking about

What I mean is this: his brain is so full of anxiety and cognitive dissonance and murder and death that he struggles to care about other people, which has devastating effects on his social skills. I go really in-depth on how his though process informs his behavior here. The question may have popped up in your mind already: if his casteism stuff isn't actually real, then what is Eridan actually like? The answer is, overwhelmingly, and discomfortingly, SINCERE.

This boy is gunning at 100% emotional earnestness 100% of the time, and it's deeply uncomfortable for others to deal with. He'll swing wildly from insults and derogatory language, to stating a desire to kill all land dwellers, to awe and amazement at his friends' prowess, to demanding that they do things for him, to traumadumping and venting, without missing a beat. Often in the same conversation.

CA: kan its hard GA: What CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

He's also specifically terrible at parsing hostility. Functionally, he interprets all hostility aimed AT him as either pitch/ashen flirting or "ironic repartee," and similarly views his own hostile words as verbal jousting, pitch/ashen advances, or even just factual descriptions of the world around him (ie calling Nepeta a "kittycat shipper cavve girl"). Hostility and aggression are just kind of his baseline, default state of being, and he basically has no ability to differentiate between good and bad attention. I talk more in-depth about his emotionally bereft upbringing (and shitty lusus) here, but suffice to say that our boy isn't getting any emotional support at home, and as a result, craves attention, no matter what kind.

This also means he's insanely gullible. For example, Rose calls him an idiot to his face, and then blows up his computer, sarcastically calling it "your first lesson in showmanship." Eridan proceeds to literally considers it that, blowing up Jade's computer after he's done talking to her. Furthermore, Kanaya sees him as a burden, insults him to his face, and pretty much just bullies him along with Rose for fun.

So she trains Eridan to become a powerful white wizard of hope to challenge her, as a joke.

And yet, in spite of all that, Eridan still has nothing but gratitude and praise for Kanaya:

ERIDAN: kan i been meanin to thank you KANAYA: For What ERIDAN: for all that trainin you did ERIDAN: i wwouldnt be the incredible holy wwizard i am noww wwithout your help KANAYA: But I Didnt Even Really Train You I Just Made You A Wand ERIDAN: yeah wwell thats all i needed i guess ERIDAN: i just needed for someone to showw a little faith in me so im sayin thanks i owwe ya KANAYA: Okay Then Youre Welcome KANAYA: I Hope You Use Your Magnificent Powers Of Light And Hope For Goodness And Purity And Lets Not Forget Science ERIDAN: dont wworry im all ovver that shit you dont evven knoww KANAYA: Uh Oh I Hope That Didnt Come Off As Too Sarcastic ERIDAN: wwhat KANAYA: The Thing I Just Said KANAYA: I Didnt Even Realize How Sarcastic I Was Being Its Starting To Become A Problem I Think KANAYA: Please Dont Take Too Much Offense ERIDAN: haha damn kan if thats your idea of offense bein made then i honestly gotta fuckin wworry for you ERIDAN: tell you wwhat ill givve you some lessons in dealin out the dark umbrage to repay you for your tutelage in the wwhite science

Like, he's in the middle of genuinely thanking her for believing in him, she makes fun of him to his face, and his response is to laugh it off and offer to teach her how to properly insult someone. It's honestly... kind of sad. Not that he doesn't deserve the ridicule, but what we're seeing here is a traumatized, emotionally neglected boy trying to communicate the best that he can that he loves and appreciates his friends, and receiving nothing but mockery in return.

It's really not a surprise, then, that he goes off the deep end. His entire life prior to the game has been shit; he got broken up with as soon as he entered the game (by someone who didn't even care enough not to use fish puns while doing it); he's ostracized and avoided for the game's duration; and then he spends the rest of his time on the meteor being bullied. He feels deeply hopeless and anxious about their situation because he literally doesn't know how else to exist, and his concerns are dismissed and mocked at every turn. When Feferi turns on him with intent to kill, that's his breaking point.

I see a lot of people say he goes grimdark, or succumbs to external influence somehow, but I don't think that needs to be true (nor is it) - he's just a deeply traumatized kid with almost no support network who's finally been pushed to the edge, despite displaying every possible warning sign and making multiple cries for help. Yes, ultimately, he's guilty for his own actions, but his killing spree - alongside Gamzee's and Vriska's - represents a cohesive failure as a team to address very clear problems in their midst.

So Feferi and Kanaya are sick of his ass. Sollux hates him platonically, Equius doesn't like him, and Nepeta thinks of him as a creep. Vriska is his awkward ex, and Terezi agrees with him when he calls himself pathetic. He never interacts with Tavros, Aradia, or sober!Gamzee. Is there anyone that treats him nicely?

Uh, okay, so I swear this isn't shipping goggles -

Pale EriKar Is Canon And I Can Prove It

So, I'm going to start this with a disclaimer: you can ship what you want to ship. I don't mind. I don't care. Headcanons are valid, death of the author, etc. What you do in your free time is up to you.

What I am attempting to argue in this section is that an Eridan/Karkat moirallegiance was heavily foreshadowed, one of the most heavily foreshadowed things in the entire comic, and - assuming that the original ending of Homestuck included all the dead trolls being brought back and redeemed - was going to be endgame. There's a torrential amount of evidence pointing to this, and very little of it is acknowledged even by the EriKar shippers, which is a shame.

At the very least, I'll be happy if I can convince some Karkat RPers to be extra nice to Eridans, because they are actually just friends who care deeply about each other. Canonically.

The first thing to note is that Eridan and Karkat, at least prior to SGRUB, talk all the time, to the point where Feferi feels the need to comment on it:

CC: You know, I'm not sure w)(y we never talk about our romantic aspirations. CC: We s)(ould more often. It is kind of -EXCITING! CA: shrug CC: Probably because you fill your gossip quota wit)( your nubby )(orned bro. CC: You leave not)(ing left to talk about wit)( your dear sweet moirail! CC: We are supposed to )(elp eac)( ot)(er wit)( t)(at stuff too, remember. CA: maybe CA: seems kinda CA: odd though

("Can you please stop having an emotional affair with Karkat" "Eh, I'll think about it")

The second thing to note is what the contents of those conversations entail. Sure, they "gossip," but it goes deeper than that, because they gossip about things that Karkat would NEVER gossip about with anybody else, because Karkat usually respects his "VERY GOOD FRIEND"s. For example, here Eridan mentions that Karkat has speculated on Kanaya's love life with him:

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that GA: No Thats Not It CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly

And it's not even a one-off thing, because here Karkat is again, mentioning Nepeta's crush on him:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK? KARKAT: HER DISINTEREST IN YOUR ADVANCE WASN'T A REFLECTION ON YOU AT ALL. KARKAT: COME ON, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

It's a situation he's been trying to "tiptoe around for a long time," and he tells ERIDAN, of all people? MULTIPLE TIMES? (AND HE ALSO TELLS ERIDAN THAT THE REJECTION WASN'T HIS FAULT???? WHAT??????)

So we've established that they talk frequently and about some pretty seriously sensitive topics. But did you know that they also talk about... their feelings?

See, the thing is, Karkat has always been weirdly nice to Eridan. Here he is in a memo near the very beginning of their game, when Karkat is at his most "rah rah, I'm the big bad leader":

FCA: i got a problem FCA: wwith feferi FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin CCG: OK, WELL CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU. CCG banned FCA from responding to memo. CCG: BUT SERIOUSLY JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IN PRIVATE ABOUT IT, OK MAN? CCG: WE'LL GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT.

Compare that to Tavros asking for advice later down in the same memo:

PAT: sINCE i DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW, bUT MAYBE HELP ME, PAT: aBOUT A THING THAT HAS TO DO WITH A GIRL, PAT: lIKE, PAT: a ROMANCE THING, yOU MIGHT KNOW ABOUT, CCG: YOU PEOPLE ARE IMBECILES. CCG: ALL OF YOU. CCG: I AM NOT POSTING THESE MEMOS TO COUNSEL YOU ON YOUR PAST AND FUTURE DATING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CCG: WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH BASKET CASES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE. PAT: sORRY, CCG: SHOULD I BAN YOU? WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT ANYMORE! ONE OF YOU STOOGES WILL BE RIGHT ON THE LAST ONES HEELS WITH ANOTHER SOB STORY. CCG: JUST CCG: HURRY UP AND TELL ME WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS BRO.

He then proceeds to dispense no actual love advice; he just points out that Vriska can totally read this memo too, and then mocks them both when she shows up - thus making it clear that he is giving Eridan special treatment.

You see it again in his discussion with Eridan in [S] Kanaya: Return to the Core, where Eridan invokes a "pact" between them, and Karkat immediately plays nice with him, despite himself being extremely high-strung and stressed out:

KARKAT: RIGHT, IT'S POWERED BY SCIENCE, I FORGOT. KARKAT: OR HOPE. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. ERIDAN: i dont fuckin need this from you i take enough shit as it is from the rest a you dirtscrapers i thought you and me had a kinda pact or wwhatevver KARKAT: OK FINE, SHUT UP, I APOLOGIZE. I KNOW IT'S TOUGH BEING YOU.

That's definitely pity, which Karkat states to be the basis of all relationships besides pitch. But, sure, okay, Karkat is sometimes nice to his friends. He is, after all, the Friendship Troll, so that's not necessarily out of the ordinary. But how about the fact that it goes both ways?

That's right, Eridan "100% aggro 100% of the time" Ampora is actually really considerate toward Karkat's feelings, and basically nobody else's. Upon hearing that Karkat is distressed that Sollux has died, Eridan actively puts his own meltdown about his breakup with Feferi on pause:

TC: BeCaUsE OuR GoOd bRo sOlLuX JuSt kIcKeD ThE WiCkEd mOtHeRfUcKiN ShIt CA: wwhat the fuck do you mean by that CA: are you sayin hes dead TC: YeAh :o( CA: oh fuck CA: oh god fuck noww i feel like an asshole

He then goes on to chastise Gamzee for his shitty advice, demanding to be given the chance to comfort Karkat himself instead:

TC: BuT I ToLd hIm tO Be cHiLl TC: BeCaUsE ThErE Is a mIrAcLe cOmInG, i cAn fEeL It CA: that is the wworst fuckin advvice CA: wwhat an awwful thing a you to say CA: MAGIC ISNT REAL STUPID STOP BELIEVVIN IN IT TC: i'Ve gOt tO BeLiEvE At wHaT My hEaRt tElLs iN Me, EvEn iF It's a fAkE ThInG TC: HoNk CA: this is a lot a pointless fuckin rubbish and isnt no emotional help to him or me either for that matter CA: put kar on

Before finally giving up when Gamzee insists he's "too scared of Jack" to help, drinking some Faygo, and trying to ask past Karkat for help, because past Karkat isn't sad yet about Sollux dying. So, to recap,

Eridan's first instinct when in emotional duress is to go to Karkat.

Eridan feels like he knows Karkat well enough to know that Gamzee's advice would be useless (and is proven right by the fact that Gamzee and Karkat's moirallegiance fails for similar reasons).

Eridan is willing to shelve his own emotional meltdown for Karkat's sake.

Eridan demands to be the one to provide Karkat with emotional support.

And this is, again, not a one-off thing. In the memo Karkat opens right after Eridan and Gamzee have both turned murderous, after he's spent several minutes making death threats toward Eridan and insulting him directly, he goes:

CCG: I'M SO UPSET, I'M JUST COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. PCA: yeah i knoww wwhat its like you wwanna talk about it

Eridan spends this entire memo under the belief that it's a completely run-of-the-mill conversation they're having:

PCA: i mean yeah obvviously i kneww you wwerent serious PCA: i guess i appreciate the effort youre puttin into cheerin me up PCA: i can alwways count on you for some good ironic repartee kar nobody else really gets our sense a humor CCG: UGH, NO PCA: are you busy PCA: you said youd try to make it to lowwaa soon wwell howw about it

Which implies that offering to listen to Karkat's feelings is also a completely regular thing for them.

But something magical is ALSO happening within this last memo, and to really explain it, I'll first have to be a little mean to the GamKar shippers (sorry).

So, canonically, GamKar doesn't work out for them, despite also being somewhat foreshadowed. In fact, they feature on Nepeta's shipping wall, which is actually, in my opinion, foreshadowing that it WOULDN'T work out. (Nepeta's ships being wrong, and shipping being something she needs to learn to outgrow, is a whole essay on its own, that I'm not getting into here.)

But the thing is, the seeds for them not working out were also planted in the first - and only - real post-moirallegiance interaction that they have with each other, where Gamzee tries to calm Karkat down... and FAILS:

GAMZEE: naw brother, i was just about to all say for you to try and get your settle down on, maybe. GAMZEE: :o( ... KARKAT: OK KARKAT: OK YEAH KARKAT: I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. KARKAT: NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, I SHOULD RELAX. KARKAT: AND BREATHE. KARKAT: I MEAN, WHAT ARE MOIRAILS FOR, RIGHT? KARKAT: THIS IS HOW IT WORKS, I STOP YOU FROM KILLING EVERYBODY, THEN YOU RETURN THE FAVOR AND CALM ME DOWN AND I JUST KARKAT: BREATHE KARKAT: LIKE KARKAT: THIS... KARKAT: SNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK, THAT SUN IS BRIGHT. KARKAT: CALL ME CRAZY, BUT IT'S KIND OF HARD TO RELAX WITHIN A STONE'S THROW FROM, OH, I GUESS ONLY THE BIGGEST FUCKING STAR ANY MORTAL HAS EVER LAID EYES ON. ... KARKAT: BUT I MEAN, CAN THIS BE HEALTHY? KARKAT: AREN'T WE GOING TO GET BURNED OR HAVE OUR RETINAS SCORCHED BY LOOKING AT IT? KARKAT: OH GOD I THINK I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK.

But let's go back to that memo where Karkat is freaking out in every way possible. This is how he starts that memo - so upset about the deaths of his friends and terrified by Gamzee that he can barely string together a coherent thought:

CCG: WE ARE SO SCREWED. CCG: OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK. CCG: GUYS, I AM TERRIFIED, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. CCG: I'M IN A ROOM FULL OF BODIES, AND I THINK I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TURN MY BACK ON THEM? CCG: OH MY GOD, I JUST HEARD A HONK. ... CCG: FEFERI, I'M SORRY. CCG: IT WAS MY FAULT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. PCC: Sorry for w)(at?? CCG: FOR CCG: I CCG: I CAN'T DO THIS CCG: IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME, I'M SORRY.

In fact, he's so distressed that he bans Past!Feferi and Past!Gamzee almost immediately after they come in. But then Eridan comes in, and... I mean, first of all, just compare how long it takes for him to ban Eridan:

But more interesting are the contents of their conversation. Over the course of talking to Eridan... Karkat completely calms the fuck down. Like he's entirely forgotten that he's shitting his pants with fear. In fact, he even starts critiquing Eridan for his dumbassery:

PCA: evven if i wwasnt compelled to think you wwere still bein flippant and ironic wwith me you cant exactly outright reject me can you CCG: WHY NOT PCA: cause youre future you PCA: doesnt count unless its present you til then its all fair game CCG: IS THIS REAL, ARE YOU BEING IRONIC OR SOMETHING, I CAN'T EVEN TELL ANYMORE CCG: THE PROBLEM IS, I CAN'T PUT THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR PAST YOU AT ALL, SO I DON'T KNOW. ... CCG: YOU'RE KILLING ANGELS NOW, AREN'T YOU PCA: no CCG: YOU ARE KILLING FUCKING ANGELS, RIGHT NOW, IN THE PAST, WITH YOUR SHITTY GUN. I JUST KNOW IT. PCA: wwell uh PCA: therere just so damn many kar and theyre not gettin any less bloody pissed is the thing CCG: THIS IS WHY IT WOULD NEVER WORK BETWEEN US, MAN.

It's extremely funny. Over the course of talking to Eridan, he goes from:

CCG: OH GOD OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD CCG: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

To:

CCG banned PCA from responding to memo. CCG: ANYWAY CCG: THAT'S IT I GUESS.

Eridan isn't even trying to calm Karkat down. He still succeeds in doing so. This is because they are soul mates. And I mean that in the sense that the comic literally calls being moirails soul mates, which it doesn't do for the other quadrants:

A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.

That "social purpose" being that an even-tempered troll calms down a more hot-tempered one, and vice versa.

It also goes on to note:

But some pale pairings, as the one above [referring to a picture of Nepeta and Equius], will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.

But what's really interesting is the next page.

And yet others will seem to have been hatched for each other.

Did you catch that? Let me zoom in.

(Also, the blue and red cuttlefish to represent Sollux - Feferi and Sollux spend the whole game together, and even wind up talking about their feelings constantly in a pile - more on piles in a sec.)

In fact... in Eridan's first visual appearance...

The crab has always been there for him.

It's also important to talk about the bottle of Faygo that's been photoshopped to be candy red, Karkat's blood color. The path that it takes actually directly mirrors Karkat's relationships with Gamzee and Eridan - it's initially something that Gamzee has, but winds up being ejected out of his life, and washes up on Eridan's shore. In fact:

TC: SnAtCh aN IcEcOlD, dOg TC: MoThErFuCkIn cHuG ThAt sHiT LiKe yOu aNd tHe bOtTlE WaS ReUnItEd lOvErS CA: are you recommendin a bevverage to me or somethin CA: is that wwhat this is TC: YeAh mAn SlAm A FaYgO CA: i dont havve a fuckin faygo you stupid fuck wwhy wwould i keep that disgusting shit on hand TC: ArE YoU MoThErFuCkIn sUrE AbOuT ThAt? CA: oh CA: oh god youre right i do CA: i totally forgot about it TC: YoU SeE MaN TC: MoThEr TC: FuCkIn TC: MiRaClEs TC: :o)

When Gamzee and Eridan discuss this exact bottle, Gamzee even likens it to "reunited lovers"; it's something that Eridan has had this whole time (after all, he was cheating on Feferi with the guy), but never realized.

There are a few miscellaneous things that don't really mean anything on their own, but put next to all this other stuff, is worth considering, so I'll list those now.

First, they both do the bonk:

Second:

CG: ARE WE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF STUFF I SAID. TA: eheheheh you LIITERALLY a2k me that every tiime are you jokiing. TA: ii cant even tell anymore. CG: IT'S A JOKE MORON. CG: HONESTLY I'M JUST GLAD NOBODY ELSE IS PRIVVY TO OUR CONVERSATIONS.

Third, Karkat muses to his future self about how he misses his friends, especially the assholes, two pages before staring at a dead Eridan's ass (joking, he's definitely looking at WV, but it's still significant that this thought is being associated with Eridan):

CCG: I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. CCG: I MISS ALL OF MY DEAD FRIENDS A LOT. CCG: EVEN THE ASSHOLES! I MISS THEM TOO. MAYBE EVEN ESPECIALLY THEM, IN SOME PERVERSE WAY. CCG: AND I SHOULD BE RELIEVED THAT THEY ALL SEEM TO BE HAPPY IN SOME WAY, EVEN IF IT'S BY FLOATING NEBULOUSLY THROUGH DREAM PROJECTIONS WITH THEIR FREAKY BLANK EYES. CCG: AND I GUESS I AM RELIEVED ABOUT THAT. CCG: BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S LEFT ME UNSETTLED.

Fourth, in the same conversation, he bemoans his failed relationship with Terezi, before Future!Karkat chastises Past!Karkat for his instability and mixed signals. Going back to the page on moirallegiances, an explicit function of a proper pale relationship is stabilizing a troll's other relationships:

The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

Of course, I don't need to tell you how messy and unstable Eridan's relationships have been.

And finally, Piles of Stuff™ are associated with moirails, and directly stated in-comic to cause an outpouring of emotion:

Standing near this pile stirs powerful emotions. The closer you stand to piles of stuff, the more freely the feelings flow. It is a law of reality.

So here's a seven-word tragedy for you: For Sale, Shitty Wand Pile, Never Used:

ERIDAN: at least i got the upright basic decency to hide my shitty wand pile somewwhere in the lab you wwont find it dont evven bother lookin KARKAT: WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES HAVE PILES OF THINGS, JUST STOP.

(Which he specifically tells Karkat about.)

So, yeah, what I'm saying is, there's just, like, a weirdly large amount to read into here. That Karkat and Eridan are probably soulmates or whatever. And that this is important because...

Eridan Is Plot Relevant (Well All The Dead Trolls Are But This Is An Essay About Eridan)

So. Now we are going to talk about themes. Yes, like we are in schoolfeeding again. I'm going to keep it simple, because "The Themes of Homestuck" is a whole essay on its own, and this one about just the shitty fish boy is already way too long.

I think it's fairly non-controversial to posit that the main theme of Homestuck is, "children should mature, care about each other, and throw off the shackles of their old society, because they will be responsible for a new world one day."

Up until Game Over/the Retcon, this is so prevalent and well-established that SBURB/SGRUB's coming-of-age themes will outright be commented upon by the characters, and the main villain is a child who deliberately stunted his own growth so he could go around kicking over other peoples' toys forevermore.

So, the thing is, with that being the theme of Homestuck, if ALL of the Alternian trolls don't survive to the end, the ending is thematically unsatisfying, because the message suddenly gains an addendum of "well, some kids just need to die," which totally sucks. Like, sure, Eridan was a violent, crazed murderer even at the best of times, but his permanent death within the canon ending kind of means that the comic is saying that people in his position don't deserve kindness or second chances. That position being a traumatized, emotionally neglected child, who was being bullied by people he considered his friends. It's a pretty terrible message.

It's even worse when you consider what other trolls don't make it to the end - Nepeta, the most outspoken troll against the hemospectrum (and Davepeta does NOT count, don't try to tell me the final culmination of Nepeta's character arc is being combined with some guy she barely knows and a bird). Feferi, who genuinely wanted the best for others, even if she was kind of a privileged princess. Aradia and Sollux also stay behind in the bubbles, even though their lives have pretty much been endless parades of suffering and being used by other people. Even Equius doesn't deserve it - he was kind of a casteist freak, but not irredeemably so, and the fact that he became kinder to Karkat over the course of SGRUB proved that he had the capacity to change. And Tavros, allergic to himself and being insulted by Vriska, is a terrible way to end his arc.

It's also really clear that, since half his friends are dead, Karkat just doesn't really have anything to do. His title is the Knight of Blood, and Blood is about bonds - romance, friendship. And yet, he ends the comic having never figured out what Blood was about, with no confirmed filled quadrants (sorry DaveKat likers, but within the comic itself, DaveKat is never confirmed), and most of his bonds nothing more than ghosts in the bubbles. It's a terribly unsatisfying ending for the most narratively important troll.

I think, then, that even if you don't agree that Homestuck should have ended with full revivals and redemption arcs for all the trolls, the essay is going to proceed on like you do, so, sorry, I guess.

The thing with Eridan, specifically, is that he's actually tied deeply into the plot and themes, and his return means more than just Karkat finally getting a date (although that's important, too). Eridan is directly intertwined with a prophecy to kill Lord English; he's set up to mirror Caliborn and Calliope; and thematically, his redemption would be the most clear instance of the "interrogating society" part of the theme of Homestuck, because Eridan is kind of the Society Troll. And also, he was definitely supposed to be Roxy's wizard boyfriend.

Just gonna get that last one out of the way real quick because it's a fast one, Roxy fucking loves wizards and is a hipster. Eridan is a wizard and is also a hipster. Roxy has a crush on a prince. Eridan is also a prince. Roxy wears a purple striped scarf. Eridan wears a blue striped scarf. Roxy uses rifles. Eridan uses rifles. Momlonde's introduction includes a passive-aggressive fridge battle that features a cameo of Eridan's quirk.

Using the colorful MAGNET LETTERS, you recently left a succinct message, which may or may not have been directed toward anyone in particular. But you couldn't find the letter W, so you just stuck two V's together. Your mother then purchased a fresh pack of W's and left them there for your convenience.

Yeah. So. Uh. Not only did Eridan need to be brought back to date Karkat pale, but he also needed to be brought back to date Roxy flushed. Can you imagine how funny it would be. They'd get together within 5 minutes of meeting for the first time and Rose would lose her shit. Anyway.

Him being a parallel to Calliope and Caliborn is also a quick one - Caliborn uses Riflekind/Sceptrekind, and Calliope uses Pistolkind/Wandkind. Eridan's two weapons are rifles and wands. Lord English is described as an evil wizard and at one point is shown using Calliope's wand. Eridan is also an evil wizard who uses a wand.

Look, I'm not saying that Eridan is necessarily directly related to these two, nor am I even necessarily saying that he and Roxy HAVE to date, but I am saying that he's got Weird Plot Connections that make him bizarrely relevant to characters that only come into play well after his death - almost like the comic was setting up that he would be coming back. His reaction to Cronus supports this, which I go into detail about here.

There's other strange "Eridan's plot important" things, too - like the fact that he's completely unimpressed by Faygo, considering it to be "just soda," and seems to be the only non-cultist who's okay with it. Or the fact that he's actually been awake on Derse since before the game (but unable to hear the horrorterrors, maybe foreshadowing some psychic resistance?) which he casually reveals to Kanaya and which Terezi is aware of, hence he's included in the people she names are "in" on the existence of the game. Or the fact that the genetic code for Alternia's first guardian was written within the pages of four FLARP books, with the addition of a fifth code Gamzee wrote in Karkat's ~ATH book... but Eridan was the fifth FLARP player in the team, implying that Doc Scratch/LE influencing Gamzee caused him to usurp Eridan's part of the first guardian code, giving LE his way into the trolls' universe.

Individually, it's all kind of nothing, but it just paints a bigger picture of Eridan being weirdly relevant, especially when we get to the juicy stuff:

The Prophecy

ARANEA: The 8ard of Hope may seem a little jaded these days, 8ut he once had a deeply a8iding faith in magic, and dedicated himself to 8ecoming a great wizard. He 8ecame convinced he was hatched to defeat an extraordinarily evil magician, one he swore the angels foretold of. ... [T]his magician once somehow from afar tried to strike him down at a young age, so he would never have to face him. 8ut the evil spell was deflected, sealing the magician's spirit away in a series of unassuming vessels until he could find some other cunning way to enter our universe. ... ARANEA: 8ut at some point he 8ecame disillusioned with magic. If there ever was any truth to his far fetched vision, the legacy of defeating the evil magician would have to 8e passed on to his descendant, or if his descendant proved to 8e as much of a failure as he did, then perhaps on to some other Hero of Hope.

ERIDAN: i slaughtered enough angels to knoww my limits and wwhere i stand against the lord of all angels they prophecized

GG: im pretty sure hes from the future! CA: wwhy GG: because he said hes my grandson CA: wwhat the fuck is a grandson CA: is that some kind of pervverse human familial thing GG: umm yes ... CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be ... CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway

Jake is supposed to have been the one to defeat Lord English. (No, Jake defeating pre-LE Caliborn right before he gets sealed into Cal doesn't count! He doesn't even get the final blow in that fight, DIRK does.)

But Eridan at one point had that destiny on his shoulders. Aranea turbohealing Jake, and the resultant hope field, summons a bunch of angels, which are heavily associated with Eridan - yet another random connection that Eridan has with future plot events.

Jake was another character, alongside Karkat, who was kind of reduced to a joke by the end, despite the fact that he had literally, directly, been passed the destiny of defeating Lord English. It's hard not to see this as a consequence, at least in part, of removing Eridan from the story. By cutting him out of the fabric of the ending, several plot threads - including this prophecy - are left dangling in irrelevance. And so Jake, like Karkat, now has nothing to do.

Homestuck is generally a series where every prophecy does come true, which makes it kind of startling when several prophecies fail to - Feferi's to "unite the two races," Jake's to defeat Lord English, and Karkat's to bring "compassion, forgiveness, and equality among all bloodlines" in the Signless's place.

That last one is actually relevant to:

The Thematic Importance of EriKar As Soul Mates

Eridan represents the worst aspects of Alternian society. He's a sea dweller at the top of the caste structure, with free reign to murder whoever he wants, soaked in the blood of thousands of innocent trolls. He espouses the casteist rhetoric that their society is built on, calling for the deaths of all land dwellers and the oppression of the lower castes. And while he should be benefitting from his position of privilege, it has also done nothing but hurt him.

Karkat, meanwhile, is a pariah. A mutant who would've been culled on sight, who spent his entire life living in hiding, and most of the game in fear that he would be ostracized or worse by the rest of his friends if they found out about his blood color. He's also the second coming of Troll Jesus, and thus, more despised by the Alternian ruling class than a mutant normally would be. For most of his life, he dreamed of nothing more than finding belonging within the society that had deemed him unfit.

Their friendship is something that "should not be." The highblood and the mutant. The royal-v and the off-spectrum. The empress's sea dweller and the second coming of the signless. Eridan "should" see Karkat as a miscreant to cull on sight. Karkat "should" be terrified of Eridan's very existence.

But in reality, Eridan doesn't give a shit about blood color, and Karkat just wants to be accepted. Eridan just wants someone to care about him, and Karkat loves his friends. Aside from Feferi, Eridan is the only highblood who never comments about Karkat's mutant blood, and they were best buddies even before Eridan knew.

Eridan and Karkat getting together isn't JUST the two most undateable trolls on the team finally landing a stable quadrant. These two, moreso than any other pairing, represent the themes of Homestuck. Children growing up, caring about each other, and throwing off the shackles of their old society.

In the pre-retcon timeline, their team failed to do so. This led to Gamzee falling into his highblood clown cult, Equius letting himself and Nepeta die by submitting to his place in the hemospectrum, Vriska killing Tavros because she couldn't allow herself to show weakness, and Eridan completing his caste's dream of genocide. Karkat spent the entire meteor trip and beyond beating himself up about it, since he considered it all to be his fault.

But with the introduction of John's retcon powers, they have the chance to, one by one, redeem themselves. I believe that's how the original ending would have gone: Terezi would ask John to bring Vriska back, because she only feels comfortable fixing her own mistakes. Vriska would then have asked John to bring back Tavros, whom she regretted killing. Tavros would be there for Gamzee, rendering him an ally. Gamzee would ask John to bring back Equius and Nepeta. Equius would ask John to help him not make the same mistakes with Aradia, and Aradiabot would catch John by the wrist and demand he bring her back in time to before she died, allowing her to circumvent her own death and Sollux's guilt. Sollux would ask John to keep him from provoking Eridan, saving Feferi. And Feferi would be pretty ok with the way things were... but KARKAT would then pull John aside, and drop an entire book of mistakes he made on John's lap, and this would result in a finalized timeline where all his friends are alive and god-tiered.

Because all the trolls SHOULD have survived.

Vriska should've survived because people should be allowed to have second chances.

Tavros should've survived because caring about each other, and being willing to show kindness and mercy, are good things.

Gamzee should have survived because people mired in religious fundamentalism and cults deserve to be offered a helping hand.

Equius should've survived because people should be allowed to grow and change their beliefs.

Nepeta should've survived because she was the anti-casteism troll. Casteism is bad, folks! Not only that, but I'm convinced that she was originally going to give the Ultimate Self exposition, and Davepetasprite^2 had to be contrived in the canon ending in order to shortcut Nepeta's character development, ruining it in the process.

Aradia should've been allowed to stay with the rest of the team and live a life free of the control of evil uncles and shitty ancestors.

Sollux should've been allowed to stay with the rest of the team because we all deserve to heal and be happy.

Feferi should've survived so she could be in a kismesistude with Nepeta, and realize that casteism itself is bad, not just the definition of culling, and then used her Witch of Life powers to even out the lifespans between the next generation of trolls, which needs to happen or else casteism will just happen again as long-lived highbloods inevitably amass power. And, also, it would complete the prophecy Gl'bgolyb gave her that she was intended to unite the two races (dream bubbles don't count, because by that metric, Sollux did more than she did by establishing a connection between the trolls and humans).

And Eridan should've survived, because the harm society has done to us can be undone. We don't have to submit to the roles it imposes, to the laws it wrote, to the abuse it inflicted. We can be free.

I've seen a lot of people who believe that such-and-such character did SUCH awful things that they don't deserve a happy ending. Oftentimes, it's Eridan, but nearly all of the dead trolls have gotten this treatment. So, let me just ask all of you who have gotten this far and still hold that opinion one thing. Do you think that's what Troll Jesus would have wanted?

This is why pale EriKar is so important: for it to happen, Eridan has to make a choice between upholding the beliefs of his shitty society, or pursuing a happier, kinder future, one where he outright rejects the caste system. For it to happen, Karkat has to shake all his insecurities about not being good enough by Alternian standards, and take on the duty of creating something better than what he came from. If pale EriKar happens, it means Eridan and Karkat choose love, not fear. Compassion, forgiveness, and equality.

This choice - this pairing - is the ultimate representation of giving Alternian society one big middle finger. Saying, we don't need you anymore, fuck off! Saying, we reject you at your core; we will choose something better! Saying, we will create a new world, and it will be kinder than the one we came from!

Pale EriKar means LOVE WINS.

Thank you for reading.

#homestuck #eridan ampora #karkat vantas #erikar #im also going to tag all the other trolls that feature because yeah.#vriska serket #feferi peixes #nepeta leijon #equius zahhak #gamzee makara #kanaya maryam

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d-z20 · 7 months ago

Text

The Games We Play (NSFW)

Pairing: Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal x Reader

Summary: Caught between the sharp wit of Agatha and the teasing charm of Rio, you find yourself pulled into a game of desire neither woman is willing to lose. What starts as playful flirtation soon turns into a heated rivalry, each vying for your attention in ways that leave you breathless.

- OR -

Why choose between them when you can have them both fucking you? At the same time?!?!

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut, Top Agatha, Top Rio, Agatha is possessive, Rio wants to annoy her, fingering, strap-ons (Rio & R recv), double penetration

Words: 3.8k

A/N: Agatha All Along Week Day 2: Non-Magic AU. Got a request for more dp and ended up here, enjoy my darlings 🙃

AO3 | Master List

The city is soaked in endless rain, a moody fog hanging low over the streets as late fall chills the air. Nestled in a corner of the neighbourhood, your used bookshop café glows warmly against the gloom, a small haven for anyone who appreciates the scent of old pages and overpriced espresso. It’s there, in this cosy retreat, that two very different forces of nature pull you into their orbit.

The bell above the door chimes every evening at 7 PM sharp, signalling the arrival of Agatha Harkness, a sharp-tongued philosophy professor from the nearby college. She always orders the same thing: a dark roast, black, no sugar, because “sugar is for optimists,” as she likes to quip with a sardonic smirk.

Everything about Agatha is deliberate, from the way she speaks to the way she holds herself. She’s always clad in sleek, dark coats, her presence commanding despite her quiet demeanor. Her dark brown hair frames a face that often looks amused or unimpressed, depending on the conversation. Her utterly sunny disposition has earned her a reputation, but you’ve grown fond of the way her sharp blue eyes soften when she’s particularly pleased by your banter, even if she’d never admit it outright. Your conversations often stretch into closing hours, always layered with her dry humour but carrying an unspoken warmth she likely doesn’t give to just anyone.

Then Rio Vidal walks into your life—Agatha’s supposed lawyer “friend” and a stark contrast to the reserved professor. Rio is vibrant and magnetic, her smile practically a weapon as she leans against the café counter in her tailored grey blazer, the pop of crimson lipstick drawing your attention more than you’d care to admit. She flirts easily, her voice smooth and teasing as she pretends to be scandalised that Agatha’s “hiding you here all to herself.” Rio makes you laugh, makes you flustered, and from the second she enters, it’s clear the tension between her and Agatha is palpable. Her smile is a little too knowing, her gaze lingering a little too long. She introduces herself with a teasing lilt to her voice, her eyes flicking between you and Agatha as though she’s already noticed something brewing.

It doesn’t take long before the sparks start to fly—and neither of them bother to hide it. Agatha’s sharp words cut through the air whenever Rio flirts too brazenly, but Rio just thrives on it, firing back with sultry remarks that make your cheeks burn. It’s a game neither of them will admit to playing—a battle for your attention that leaves you flustered and dizzy every time you’re around them.

You get Agatha’s number first, scribbled onto the back of a receipt after she offhandedly mentions sending you a book recommendation. “For when you have time to expand your horizons,” she says, smirking as she slides the paper toward you. A week later, Rio casually hands you her card with a wink. “Just in case you need representation,” she purrs, her tone low enough to make your breath hitch.

Where Agatha’s bluntness cuts, Rio’s flirtation smolders. And you? You’re stuck in the middle.

—

The first real crack in the tension comes on a particularly rainy evening. Agatha is nowhere to be seen, and Rio arrives alone. She catches you during your break, claiming a seat near the back where the two of you can speak in relative privacy. Her attention is sharp yet playful as she leans in closer than necessary while accepting her coffee. Her fingers brush against yours, lingering just long enough to make you wonder if it’s intentional.

“You’re wasting time on Agatha, you know,” Rio murmurs, voice smooth and dripping with amusement. “She doesn’t know how to have fun. Me, on the other hand…” She trails off, letting the implication linger like the heat in her gaze.

You can’t help but blush, torn between intrigue and loyalty to the professor, who’s been a quiet constant. Before you can think of a reply, the bell above the door jingles. Agatha arrives, her expression turning stormy when she sees Rio still there, laughing with you.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be, Rio?” Agatha says, her voice cool, clipped.

“Not tonight.” Rio grins, practically daring her to lose her temper. The two women exchange barbed words like practiced fencers while you try unsuccessfully to calm them down. It ends with Agatha leaving abruptly, her coat snapping behind her as she slams the door behind her. The echo of the bell leaves you feeling confused and guilty.

—

That night, your phone buzzes with a message from Rio, her words sweet but edged with her usual brand of mischief. “You okay, sweetheart? You deserve someone who doesn’t run at the first sign of competition.” Before you can respond, a sharp knock at your door startles you.

It’s Agatha.

She stands on your doorstep, soaked to the bone, rain dripping from her dark hair and coat, but her usual sharp edges are dulled. Agatha looks at you with something softer—guilt and regret etched into her features. “I overreacted,” she admits gruffly, as though the words hurt to say. You step aside, letting her in.

You let her in, guiding her to the couch as you make tea. She’s quieter now, vulnerable in a way you’ve never seen. She stares into her mug, her voice quieter than you’ve ever heard it. “I don’t share well,” she says, her gaze fixed on her hands. “The idea of Rio pulling you away..." She trails off, shaking her head, but you can feel the weight of what she isn’t saying. Agatha, for all her bravado, is afraid of losing you.

For the first time, her walls crumble. She admits how much she enjoys your presence—that you’re a rare bright spot in her otherwise cynical world. The night stretches on in quiet comfort, and by the time Agatha leaves, you’re left with a strange warmth in your chest and even more confusion about what you feel for both women.

—

The next evening, Rio shows up unannounced at your apartment, somehow sensing that Agatha has gotten ahead. She leans in your doorway, all confidence and charm, coaxing you with teasing remarks until you let her in.

“You worry too much about her,” Rio drawls, settling onto your couch like she owns the place. Her smile is dangerous; her touches featherlight as she brushes hair from your face. “I could help you unwind, you know.”

Her voice, her smile—it’s all-consuming. The air crackles with tension, her gaze holding yours as she edges even closer. Before you can respond, there’s another knock at the door.

Of course, it’s Agatha.

The energy shifts entirely. Both women are there—again—and the room feels like it might ignite. Finally, you’ve had enough.

“Are you two done?” You snap, startling them both. “This back and forth—it’s exhausting. Either cut the games or go.”

Silence falls, heavy and electric. Agatha is the first to speak, her voice low and smooth. She steps closer, so close you can feel the warmth of her breath against your skin.

“You think we’d fight like this if we didn’t want you?” She murmurs, her blue eyes dark and unreadable.

Rio smirks, circling you like a predator, her tone sinfully sweet. “Maybe sharing isn’t bad, Agatha.”

The shift in energy is dizzying. Agatha’s mouth tilts into a smirk as she backs you toward the couch. Rio’s hand slips to your waist, her touch featherlight. Between Agatha’s steady dominance and Rio’s teasing charm, you’re completely unravelling under their combined attention.

The air in your apartment feels thick, a storm of tension swirling around you as Agatha’s dark blue eyes lock with Rio’s knowing smirk. You barely register your own breath quickening as Agatha steps forward, fingers curling possessively around your wrist.

“Enough games,” she murmurs lowly, her voice gravelly with restrained heat. Without warning, she tugs you firmly toward her, the movement decisive as you stumble against her chest. Her free hand tilts your chin up, her gaze scorching as she leans in, her breath ghosting over your lips—close, but not close enough.

“You’re coming with me,” Agatha whispers, a command dressed as a promise.

Before you can surrender, Rio is there, her hand snaking around your waist from behind, her grip firm as she pulls you back, your body colliding with hers. Her scent—something sharp and sweet—fills your senses as her lips graze the shell of your ear.

“Agatha’s always in such a rush,” Rio purrs, her voice playful, but her hands are far from idle. One settles at your hip, her thumb tracing lazy circles just above the waistband of your pants, while the other slides up your side, light and teasing as it makes your skin prickle. “Why don’t we slow down a little? I’m not done enjoying you yet.”

Agatha huffs—a warning—and moves to claim you again, this time grabbing you by the face with both hands, pulling you flush against her body. Her kiss is sudden and searing, stealing the breath from your lungs. Her lips demand everything, moulding perfectly to yours, and her hands grip your face like she’s daring Rio to interfere again.

And of course, Rio does.

“You’re so dramatic, ” Rio mutters, yanking you free with little effort. Her lips are on you the moment you’re in her arms, pressing slow, teasing kisses along your neck—each one softer and sweeter than the last, a stark contrast to Agatha’s possessive fire. Her fingers trail along the hem of your shirt, sneaking underneath to brush against bare skin, her touch featherlight.

“Tell me you don’t like this better,” Rio murmurs against your skin, her smile evident even though you can’t see it.

You don’t have time to respond—Agatha is already there, tugging Rio’s hand off you with a forceful glare. “Enough of this,” she snaps, her tone clipped but not cold. Her hands find your hips, guiding you toward your room

Rio only laughs darkly and hooks her arm around your waist once more, pulling you right back. “Not so fast, professor. I don’t remember letting you win.”

Their hands are on you—Rio’s touch teasing and playful, Agatha’s firm and commanding—as they drag you down the hall together. Your back collides with a wall, and Agatha is on you first, her hand braced above your head, her lips brushing over your jaw in slow, deliberate movements.

“You’re mine,” she murmurs against your skin, her other hand sliding up your side, fingers pressing into your ribs just enough to leave you dizzy.

“Greedy,” Rio drawls behind her, stepping in close. Agatha doesn’t get a chance to respond before Rio hooks two fingers into your belt loop, yanking you forward and breaking Agatha’s hold. Rio grins wickedly as she pulls you toward the bed—a teasing touch meant to frustrate more than satisfy.

“Don’t listen to her,” Rio whispers, her fingers grazing the sensitive skin just above your collarbone. “I’m the one who’ll take care of you properly.”

The room spins around you, your body trembling from the push and pull of their hands, their lips, and their possessive declarations. You feel like you might come undone from the weight of it—Agatha’s firm hold steadying you just as Rio’s teasing touch sends heat racing through you.

"Please,” you gasp finally, your voice cracking as they pause in their frisky fight, both sets of eyes snapping to yours. You’re panting, your body aching, your pulse roaring in your ears as you look between them—Agatha’s gaze dark and unreadable, Rio’s smile sharp with amusement.

“I—” You swallow hard, trembling beneath the weight of their attention. “I want both of you. ” Your voice drops to a desperate whisper, the words spilling out before you can second-guess them. “Please. I need both of you.”

The silence is deafening.

Rio’s smirk grows impossibly wider, her fingers trailing down your arm as she hums, her tone a mix of delight and challenge. “Hear that, Agatha? They’re asking for it.”

Agatha doesn’t smile, but something shifts in her gaze—an intensity that makes your knees weak. She steps closer, her hand finding your chin again as she tilts your face toward hers, her lips brushing against yours as she speaks.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” she murmurs darkly, her voice soft yet possessive.

“I do,” you plead, your words barely audible as your body arches instinctively toward her.

Agatha holds your gaze a beat longer, then—finally—her lips crash against yours, fierce and commanding, shoving you flat against the bed. Rio isn’t idle for long, though. She shoves Agatha off you, and her hands slide up your sides as she presses herself against you, her lips trailing soft, open-mouthed kisses along the side of your neck.

“You’re shaking,” Rio teases, her voice low, her fingers curling at your hips as Agatha’s kisses travel to your jawline. “We haven’t even started yet.”

The next moments are a blur of movement—your body pulled between Agatha’s dominance and Rio’s playful teasing as they undress you, their touches relentless and overwhelming. Agatha’s mouth leaves marks along your skin as she pins you in place, her voice low in your ear as she commands you to take everything she gives. Rio counters by digging her nails into your skin as she coaxes desperate sounds from you—sounds that only seem to ignite Agatha’s jealousy further.

“Stop hogging them,” Agatha snaps at Rio, though her voice trembles with her own restraint.

Rio only laughs, her hand sliding lower as she presses a kiss to your inner thigh. “I’ll stop when you stop being so damn territorial.”

Between them, you’re unravelling—your body trembling, your breath quickening, every nerve ending lit on fire from their combined attention. Agatha’s possessiveness grounds you even as Rio’s teasing ignites you, the two forces of nature working in tandem to overwhelm you completely.

Agatha's hands are firm on your hips, her weight pressing you into the bed as she straddles you, her body a constant presence that steadies the rising tension inside you. Her breath is hot against your skin, lips grazing your neck as her fingers trail lower, teasing your most sensitive spots. The mix of control and raw hunger in her touch has you spiralling, your body arching up instinctively.

Above you, Rio's voice is smooth, almost amusing, as you hear her rummaging through her bedside drawer, the sound of wood creaking under her searching hands. “Look, Aggie, they have one in your favourite colour,” she teases, her words lazy but somehow more tantalising with every syllable.

Your mind is too clouded, too consumed by the pleasure of Agatha’s touches to catch the nickname. It drifts past you, a sweet echo that you can’t quite grasp as your body trembles, electric heat coursing through you.

Your breath quickens as you feel the faint rustle of Rio undressing herself, each sound heightening the fire inside you. The air grows heavier with anticipation, your senses overwhelmed by the heat of the room, the pressure of Agatha's hands, and Rio’s presence just out of view. But before you can fully process the tension building between them, the bed shifts sharply.

With a sudden shove, Agatha is pushed off of you, the force catching you off guard. A breathless gasp escapes your lips as Rio takes her place, her hands gripping your hips and pulling you toward the edge of the bed, her body leaning over yours. Without a moment’s hesitation, she snaps her hips against you, thrusting your 6-inch smooth black strap inside, the movement sharp and forceful. The sudden, intense pressure forces a moan from your lips, your back arching involuntarily as surprise and pleasure mix. Her rhythm is unforgiving, each thrust deep and demanding, making it impossible to think of anything but her—her body, her control, the way she claims you in an unrelenting wave.

Behind you, you hear the sound of Agatha undressing, the rustle of fabric replaced by the unmistakable click of a harness. A shiver runs down your spine as Agatha slips into it with practiced ease, her presence looming like a storm cloud, the tension palpable.

She moves silently behind Rio, her steps deliberate, her presence casting a heavy shadow over the both of you. With a calculated push, she presses your 10-inch purple strap into Rio’s dripping cunt from behind. Rio's pace doesn't falter as Agatha slides in and out of her, the pressure between them increasing with every movement. The sound is intoxicating, and the combined force of them has your mind spinning—a dizzying mix of pleasure and anticipation as Agatha’s hands grip tightly onto Rio’s waist, guiding her in a new, deeper rhythm.

Your body is a live wire, every nerve on edge as the relentless pace drives you closer to the brink. The pressure builds unbearably, each thrust and touch pushing you higher, your senses overwhelmed, your mind barely clinging to coherence as you teeter on the edge of climax.

After a while like this, Agatha leans forward, wrapping a slender hand around Rio’s throat, lips grazing her ear as she watches you, her voice a low, possessive growl. “I want to fuck them now,” she says, the words cutting through the air with raw desire. Her eyes never leave you, a silent command in her gaze, and you know exactly what she means. The shift in the energy between the three of you is palpable—a dark, consuming hunger that promises to pull you even further into their control.

Both Rio and Agatha pull out at the same time, leaving you breathless and aching for more. The emptiness leaves a hollow craving in your core. Agatha moves to sit on the bed, her back against the headboard, a dominant yet inviting presence. She watches you with smouldering eyes, her hands resting on her thighs as she waits.

You’re unsteady as you move to straddle her lap, your body trembling from your arousal. A whimper escapes your lips as you lower yourself onto her. The sensation of being filled by her cock again has you gasping, the ache from earlier return at the depth of her touch. Agatha’s hands settle on your hips, guiding you as you start to move, her eyes never leaving yours, filled with desire and control.

Rio moves behind you, her presence a comforting pressure against your back as she gently slips a finger between your thighs. You gasp as she presses inside you, the stretch from both her and Agatha intensifying in the most delicious way. The fullness makes you gasp, your body quivering as you adjust to the sensation.

Once you're steady, Rio adds a second finger, pushing in slowly, and you can't help but moan at the added stretch, the sensation almost too much but in the best way possible. Your breathing is erratic as you adjust to both of them, the mix of pleasure and fullness making your mind spin. Then, as if they both share the same thought, Agatha's hands grip your hips, holding you steady as Rio adjusts herself behind you.

The feeling as you sink back down on both of the straps is overwhelming—each movement sending waves of pleasure crashing over you. You feel every inch of them, every twitch of their bodies, and it’s almost too good to bear. The stretch is so intense, so deep, that your body trembles with every shift, every thrust. You feel stretched to the limit, your entire body taut with the effort of staying grounded. Agatha’s firm grip on your hips holds you steady, guiding you up and down, making you feel every inch of them, while Rio’s fingers come to circle your clit, the combination of their touches creating a perfect rhythm that has you gasping for air.

As Agatha pulls you further down, the fullness hits you again, each inch more delicious than the last. You’re teetering on the edge, your breath coming in ragged gasps, desperate and frantic as your body fights to adjust to the incredible pressure. You feel the tension build, winding tighter and tighter, until with one final, perfect movement, your body snaps. Your orgasm hits you hard and fast, waves of pleasure crashing over you, every inch of you alive with the sensation of being so full, so completely consumed.

“That's it, sweetheart,” Agatha murmurs, her voice low and steady in your ear, as her hands continue to hold you steady, guiding you through the aftershocks of your orgasm. “Let go for us.”

As the waves of pleasure ebb and fade, you collapse against her chest, your body trembling with the lingering aftereffects, your breath shaky as Rio gently pulls out, leaving a trail of your warm wetness behind. She presses a soft kiss to your shoulder, her voice a quiet tease. “You’re incredible,” she whispers, her breath hot against your skin.

Agatha’s arms wrap around your waist, lifting you off her strap, holding you close, and grounding you in the aftermath of it all. Her touch is soft, almost tender now, as she kisses your temple. “You’re perfect,” she murmurs, her voice filled with admiration and something deeper, more possessive.

You let out a soft, contented sigh, your mind still hazy but filled with a deep sense of satisfaction. In this moment, surrounded by them, everything feels right.

Agatha brushes a lock of hair from your face, her voice light but filled with something darker beneath the surface. “You know,” she says with a small smirk, “Rio and I had a feeling you’d be perfect for this... we’ve been planning it for a while now.”

Rio laughs softly, her breath warm against your skin. “Took us long enough to get you here, but I’m glad we finally did.”

You blink in surprise, your mind still foggy from your climax as the realisation sinks in. “You... planned this?” The words come out more as a breath than a question, your chest tightening as a mix of surprise and something else—exhilaration, maybe—washes over you.

Agatha chuckles, a playful gleam in her eyes as she tightens her hold on you. “We couldn’t resist,” she admits softly. “We both knew you were something special.”

Your heart races again, this time for an entirely different reason, and you can’t help but smile, a mix of disbelief and wonder settling over you. "I... had no idea," you murmur, a soft laugh escaping as the depth of their plans finally hits you.

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listen if I can write in a way where it was Agatha all along, I'm going to do it, she's such a little schemer

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let me know if you folks want to read my Band AU :P

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