#well I thought the problem had mostly resolved but it started again I think yesterday

[fierykitten2]

My phone’s battery is actually making shit up as it goes along. It was at 6% so I turned it off and an hour or two later I put it on the charger for about a minute and it was 12 maybe a minute after I took it off the charger and then I checked almost immediately afterwards and it had gone down to 10% and then I checked very soon after again and it was suddenly 7%. When I got home (and it had not been on the charger since I saw it at 7%) it was at 8% then I looked at the battery when it was put on the charger a few seconds later and it was at 4%. I mean I know I don’t trust low power mode but I thought the battery level would at least make sense when it was on that mode

[ericmun]

210314 Shinhwa’s Eric and Dongwan’s Instagram Updates

Just a quick note as what might transpire this. There have been posts from fans pressuring about the lack of Shinhwa activities and Eric got the flak usual. One post in particular on the day before (Saturday night) that tagged all the members that probably why this happened, why he feels he’s been treated unfairly, as well as explaining why he had to go on SNS.

The clash between Eric and Dongwan is nothing new. It is mostly personality differences and ways of doing things. We are posting this because everyone has the right to understand what’s going on with a full and accurate translation (as accurate as possible) of how things went. Thanks so much 6crystalis for these long translation.

Eric’s 1st post:

I was keeping track quietly, but the problem is that the gap between internal affairs compared to external perception is too big, and so, there is constant conflict between the two. I thought if just leave it, it would slowly disappear by itself. Instead, the difference became so big, these was nowhere left to take a stand. I always thought that when it came to problems, the right thing to do was to dig it up by its roots and untangle it bit by bit; you shouldn't try to cover it up and pretend nothing happened. But in the end, I chose to listen to the opinions of different people and left it alone. One guy who always put group activities before all other work. Another guy who puts certain emphasis on solo activities, but during this period is emphasizing on Shinhwa activities. Although, it caused problems for group communication and schedules, but to fans, he is an intimate and gentle guy. Two people with different thought processes, so I've decided I need to go find and understand each person's differences. But everyone is too one-sided on who they are listening to, to the point that only support the one saying nice words to them, and cursing the condition of the person who is quietly working hard for the group. Isn't that too much? If the problem only stopped at supporting VS not supporting, it doesn't matter, but is it really necessary to go to the extremes of praising one side to high heavens and making personal attacks on the other? Right now, it's not 50/50, it's more than 90% of the people who think the latter's style is correct. Then that means everything I had been doing during that period is wrong. Just let me switch places with the later then, it's easy. But, can you put on some restraint, the group of people on DC? Aren't you tired? Stop gathering in groups in places I'm absent and discussing things that aren't set? If you want to talk about those things, then say it when you come join the group meeting. Didn't I already ask you guys (the members) 3 weeks ago about setting the schedule? If you actually want to resolve this, then let's talk. I have no way of contacting you, so I'll tag you, and I will also let Andy know. You'll invite me to tomorrow's live right? I'll be there.

Note: Eric tagged Dongwan for this post as seen in the photo

Source: muneric Translation: 6rystalis

Eric’s 2nd post:

Because I was afraid of causing conflict, I thought just leaving it would make it disappear, so I chose to say pretty words filled with hope that were false to make people happy and just leave everything. I think that’s just making me doenjang (superficial/full of BS)

Text on the chat:

ERIC: What time is the live tomorrow, Andy? ANDY: The time is not set yet, hyung. We'll set it after meeting with Dongwanie hyung tomorrow. ERIC: Can you tell him to invite me for tomorrow liveㅎㅎ ANDY: Okay ERIC: ㅋㅋㅋ ANDY: ㅋㅋㅋㅋ ERIC: I'm curious what he'll say ㅎㅎ No matter what he says, just forward it to me. I'll also adjust as needed. If it's really too convenient, then I'll think of a way to adjust it. ANDY: eung eung (yes yes)

Source: muneric Translation: 6rystalis

Dongwan’s post:

I am Kim Dongwan.

First of all, I feel very sorry for all the Shinhwa Changjo who got shocked.

Tomorrow, I will meet the members and have a good talk. Because it is internal affairs, we should discuss it among ourselves first.

The previous announcement about holding a live with Andy will go ahead as planned.

The conception of Shinhwa albums and concerts require the investment of a lot of manpower. This isn't completed by members on their own, or can be completed by just any member. To members, Shinhwa activities are very important and something they really look forward to. So, I have always taken into account the opinions of all six members, and after adjustments, produce a conclusion that is satisfying to all members.

Before getting this conclusion, other than the members' opinions, communication with the production team is also very important. It requires the polishing of time and opportunity.

Apart from the problem about contacting me... If we could've had a little bit of communication with the production team beginning last year, if we could've communicated so that they could feel at ease, then Shinhwa and Shinhwa Changjo wouldn't have had to encounter a situation like this... This is a point that I feel a bit regretful about.

We work hard together to be the Shinhwa that will paint a beautiful painting for Shinhwa Changjo.

Thank you, everyone.

Source: danedkim Translation: 6rystalis

Eric’s 3rd post:

Starting from 3pm, I had been asking Dongwannie and constantly checking with Andy for updates, but there was no answer at all about whether he was going to accept or reject my request to be there. Said it was because the production team couldn't contact me, so that's why they couldn't go forward with their work. Then let me tell you about my position. It started around "Sniper" activities? Around 2015-2021, he hasn't been in our group chat for 6 years; and after being blocked, I never got his new phone number. During the time I announced my marriage, because of "whether I let the members know I was getting married", I was being attacked. There was that brother that came out and loudly said, "Eric definitely has his own reasons~ Please understand~" Kept getting cursed or something. From the blank period in the military to album production in the years that followed, schedules and venues were booked one year in advance by me. I wouldn't know how to keep in contact with the production team? In those 6 years, I'm always telling everyone we should hold a meeting. Every time, the schedule is adjusted weeks in advance so that we can have this hard-earned chance to meet up. Even like that, we weren't able to see each other. There are too many times where there was no other way because of deadlines to just hold a meeting with 5 people.

Last year was the same. Again, I told the members that we should meet, everyone should open up some time in your schedule. And then the date was set, but on the day, we were stood up. The kind-hearted members were finally able to meet up after so much, but weren't even able to take a picture for proof before we separated. I was also really tired, so I suggested if it's hard to find time in your schedule, then let's use group chat to to figure things out, it'll be more convenient. I'm also really busy with work. Each time I have to adjust my schedule so we can meet, but if it gets cancelled on the day, I'll also feel really tired. Even so, he still refused to use group chat to discuss things. I'm also human. I thought, "We're in pandemic conditions and I still have dramas to film. If it continues like this, just leave it, stop pretending to be close." And so, at the end of last year, I stopped joining the group chat. But the root of the problem is here. In the 6 years that I have been doing all this, where I was constantly cursed, after I left group chat for a mere 3 months? Under the circumstances where I was absent, you had a meeting in a chat, in the way where you are comforting others and telling them to air out their raincoats? At that point, I couldn't hold it anymore. A few days ago, a Shinchang chat was established in Clubhouse. Like it was an official channel, you talked about things that members have never discussed or confirmed. There was even content that we haven't even heard of before. Yesterday, you said, "It wasn't you. It was because there are a few members who don't want to hold Shinhwa activities that these activities weren't confirmed in the end" ?

I'm not playing that despicable SNS where you can say things without leaving any evidence, talking about things that don't exist or politics where people criticize you. But to be different from being like that despicable SNS. I chose to leave a record of what I'm saying to be criticized. I guess it can be considered me saying what's on my mind. 6 years and 3 months. I'm too angry, so I suggested in the past that for 3 months, everyone should calm down on their own and think about what our things mean to us. If suggesting these 3 months is wrong, then I admit it, I apologize. But, in the post, it brought up the production team. I really want to ask, am I really the one affecting Shinhwa's schedule? Up until now, I've asked another members about this situation, yet I'm still unable to get a solid answer about whether you're accepting my arrival. Instead, you confirmed on Instagram that it's Eric and the production team's miscommunication that things couldn't be confirmed? I'm preparing to take a rest right now. I'm going to treat it as you rejecting to invite me to join you tomorrow. If members discuss things in the future and really want to make our dongsaeng, who's caught in the middle, uncomfortable, then just continue to do so. The person I wanted you to invite was me, so why are you replying to the fans? It would be great if I also had the ability to omit the main point and say words that sound nice to the ears. But, I'm also human. I apologize to everyone for having to listen to such tiring story.

Dongwan’s reply: I had a phone call with Andy around 6pm. I said that the 3 of us should meet and talk together. Perhaps he hasn’t told you yet.  I’m coming to Seoul tomorrow. We’ll talk face to face.

Source: muneric Translation: 6rystalis 

============================================================

Eric also did 2 more posts about the hate posts from Shinhwa DC Gall. We might translate it later if translator has time.

[silverthetheorist]

The end of L’manburg was disappointing (and why rollercoasters and fun)

I really wanted to like this war. I really did. And I did like many things (Which I will go through don't worry) but... Look, the event was not bad by any means. But this is the first big event that I can say was mediocre at worst and good at best. A solid 6/10 maybe (All other story arcs and events are from a 8/10 to 10/10), specially after the marvelous festival from yesterday. So let’s see first the things that worked: 

- FUNDY AND NICKY POPPED OFF. Them destroying the provisions before the start was great because it did not only made sense for their (Very tired of being sidelined and very tired of L’manberg’s bullshit) but it also had plot repercussion. In a story, for an action to be significant it has to have two things going for it: An emotional repercussion and a plot repercussion. This had both: Two og L’manburgian giving up on their nation and causing the L’maburg forces to be under-and I can’t stress this enough- very under prepared. In Eret’s case it is a lot harder to justify because her arc was never very consistent as I have said before. 

-The villains were very smart and intimidating. First the chose to attack L’manberg the day after the festival giving them little to no time to prepare. Second, they attacked earlier and devised a plan to cause the most destruction possible. Dream and Techno are many times smarter than many movie villains. 

-Tommy exposed Techno for the hypocrite and selfish pig he is. Good for him.

-Anything Ranboo does is gold of course. But, I think joining Phil is a bit of an iffy decision. For someone who doesn’t choose sides he surely chose the one that caused the most destruction and pain for all of his other friends. He is probably one of the most exciting people to watch in the future

-Tubbo jumping in front of Techno’s blast to protect Tommy (I do not want Tubbo to die because he is probs my favorite but that would have been a cool canon death). Tommy asking about Tubbo every 5 seconds. Both apologizing to each other and reuniting finally. Tubbo looking at everything he had built being destroyed, completely speechless. Tommy and Tubbo meeting Dream in the obsidian thing over L’manber. It had a weird final boss feel to it. I wish something had happened between the three there. Maybe a short fight or something. It was still cool.

So, yeah. There is a lot to like about the event. Now I have three main problems with this event: 

My first problem is that it all felt a bit... pointless. This reminded me a lot of the movie Captain America: Civil War. It was a great movie, but it did not have almost any consequences. In today’s event L’MANBURG WAS DESTROYED FOR GOOD THIS TIME and... it doesn’t feel like anything has changed at all. Tommy is still on about the disks even after everything he’s been through. Quackity is still... honestly I never know what is going on with him. Techno and Phil are still assholes and have all the power along with Dream. The badlands still haven’t done a thing (A shame). You can say that Wilbur is going to be revived, and yes that is pretty big, but he has been alive before (I actually love that he is being resurrected surprisingly, I’ll talk about it later). You can also say that L’manburg is gone now but... was it really there ever since Tommy was exiled considering everyone basically left?

It feels like we could have skipped everything after Wilbur blew L’manberg and everything would be the same. Like everything in between did not matter. Think of it, is there any major differences (Besides minor character changes) between the end of the Manberg vs Pogtopia war and now? Probably not many. This goes back to what I said in my first post: History is repeating itself a little to much. Another exile, another festival, another execution, another time L’manburg is destroyed. At least there is not going to be another election anytime soon. 

I think Tommy’s line to Techno that “You are repeating history but worse” is very ironic. The idea that history repeat itself is tempting and, when done efficiently can be amazing, but this was not the case. I cannot blame theme though, a “history repeats itself” story is very hard to write without feeling like you are repeating yourself. But they were so close. The Schlatt/Wilbur and Tommy/Tubbo parallels are a great example of it because it had the two things that a “History Repeats itself” plot needs: A new emotional background (The Tubbo/Tommy friendship breaking) and a final change (When both decide not to become like their predecessor). That’s right. You can argue that this war had a different emotional background but the end result was the seem. This type of stories are only satisfying if we see the change at the end, imagine how great it would have been if they managed to resolve their differences and truly unite against Dream and stop L’manburg from blowing up. 

That is my second problem. I am not against the idea of L’manburg ending for good. But it happened at a very random part of the story. L’manburg, the place that started it all perished because a pig felt betrayed by a friend and Dream was being his usual self. Compare this to the last time it blew up: A fallen hero destroying what he built because he wouldn’t let anyone else have it. It just doesn’t compare. And honestly, we are mostly sad that it is gone because of the first war, the election and the manberg vs pogtopia arcs. If the end goal of three months of storytelling is to destroy L’manburg, why did they spend three months showing how shitty it has become and how everyone left? This last point sections nicely to my last problem

My third and final problem is that it all seems a little samey. Now listen to me on this one. Do you know why the Deadpool movies are so effective at making you laugh? Because it mixes dramatic moments with comedy very well, each dramatic moment elevates the next joke and vice versa. It is also why Tommy’s lore streams are so good, when you juxtapose both drama and comedy it works very well. Like a rollercoaster, the fun comes from all the ups and downs. But can you truly say there were any up moments since the manberg vs pogtopia war. Not really, maybe some but nowhere new as good as the up moments in previous arcs and nowhere near as present. That is why this past three months feel very samey. It has been just constant dread and sadness with very few good moments storywise. Compare this to before when Wilbur was the main writer: Eret betrayed everyone and Dream blew up some of L’manberg, but they won the war and got their independence. Pog 2020 lost the election but Techno joined them and most people were secretly helping from the shadows. They got back L’manburg from Schlatt but Wilbur and Techno betrayed them. See how it has a great mixtures of ups and downs? Today’s event would have benefited from at least one ray of sunshine at the end, maybe a new piece of information returns, or Tommy and Tubbo have a final talk and resolver everything, or something nice for a change. (Wilbur being resurrected does not count, he traumatised everyone, I would not say that is a very happy thing, more of a mixed bag) 

But I don’t want come off as too negative. But now I am being cautious of the storyline. I think the next couple of stream are going to be key. There is still hope that some of these problems will be addressed. Even if they are not, the story will have suffered it’s first big dud (Which is a testament to how good and capable everyone is of telling a great story). 

PS: English not my first language. You know the drill. I am once again not sending hate to anyone ever. There is nothing wrong with criticizing what you love, I think it is kind of necessary in a weird way.

PS2: I also have hope because I believe that Wilbur is coming back as a writer. On a stream (When he saw Matpat’s theory) he said the was “not currently writing the story” which I found as very suspicious wording. That and Alivebur returning I think makes a pretty compelling case for his return as a writer, I don’t see him as the type of guy that would just return so that someone else would write his character. On another note I hope the current writer don’t feel pressured to follow Matpat’s theory just because he is a big youtuber. While not a bad theory by all means (As soon as Ghostbur said he wanted to be alive my first thought was Quackity and Schlatt) but I would prefer it if they were not manipulated by outside sources to make the story a certain way. 

PS3: I have other things I would like to cover. Mainly, I have three ideas for future essays: an analysis of the medium the smp storyline is being made and why it is harmful to it’s story (Specifically it’s eventual ending), a study of how Ranboo’s philosophy causes more harm than good and a “What if” essay of how many road the smp could have taken with it’s story after the manberg vs pogtopia war. I will probably do all three of them eventually but if anyone wants a specific one I can do it no problem. Also, if anyone wants to interact or give their opinions or criticize my ideas you are more than welcome to. I have no friends who are into mcyt and I love the back and forward of different opinions and ideas.   

[atlas-tries]

Shatter Me

A Patton angst fic by yours truly

Read on AO3

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Summary: All the sides have secrets, but none have one as lethal as the one Patton is keeping. Can he keep it under wraps long enough to resolve it or will the trauma of it all spell his undoing? 

Hey guys, so this has been a long time in the making (aka since January). But I finally got this finished and I’m very proud of how it turned out. This was all based on a simple headcanon I had about how Patton experiences emotional pain. I hope you enjoy it, and the next chapter will be out next Monday! Check the notes for definitive links to the next chapter.

Chapter 1: Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Words Hurt Far More Deeply

At some point or another, all the sides had kept secrets from each other.

Mostly, it had to do with where they had been in the past or something silly, like the time Roman “accidentally” ate all of Logan’s Crofters. The others still kept some, likely to make a well-placed or dramatic reveal of it, and Patton was no different. He himself occasionally had physical manifestations of emotional pain. However, there was one thing he knew that wasn’t a secret.

Patton knew how they all really felt about him.

Sentimental.

Overbearing.

Naive.

Worthless.

Even if they rarely said any of those descriptors out loud or in his presence, the unspoken words came through loud and clear every time they thought he would mess something up. Which was in almost every video he appeared in. They thought he didn’t notice the dismissive remarks or the eye rolls whenever he had any ideas to share when Thomas had an issue that needed working through. It’s just ol’ Patton spouting off whatever random thoughts and/or dad jokes pop up in his head like always.

For the most part, Patton could handle whatever emotional turmoil they threw at him. He knew that despite what they thought, they still cared about him and valued his opinions. The occasional pain was worth it if they were happy. And they were, especially after Thomas had introduced them to his online community of Fanders (the part that made him the happiest). Even Patton himself had been ecstatic to reach out to so many other kiddos out there. At least, he was until they had gotten in front of the camera.

Yeah, his jokes didn’t land with the others, it wasn’t a big deal. That was no different than telling them in the Mindscape on most days. However, he really wanted to do that four-part harmony when Roman suggested it, even after they immediately shot it down when he came in. But Patton could shake that off, too. He was strong. So, imagine his surprise when he discovered short, thin cracks radiating from over his heart when he was changing into his cat onesie that evening. “Oh,” he said, running his hand delicately over them, “That must’ve gotten to me a little more than I thought.” No matter, though, they always went away within a few days.

Everything went back to relative normal in short order and Patton was back to being a happy pappy. The next few videos came and went without much fanfare. He was even featured by himself to help Thomas with his adultery! There was nothing better than that. The cracks didn’t return until just before they started planning out The Mind vs. The Heart.

That morning, Patton had been making breakfast for everyone as he almost always did. This morning was especially pleasant for him because Thomas had actually listened to Patton yesterday when he suggested he go and pet all the puppies in the pet store on the way home. Having that thought at the forefront made it easy to softly sing to himself as the bacon sizzled. Roman was already eating his as fast as he could fancifully manage.

“Roman, I know my food is good, but please don’t choke up on your swallow through,” Patton said with a smile, taking the last batch of bacon out of the pan and putting it on a plate. Roman just nodded and kept doing exactly what he was doing. “Say, you didn’t happen to see Logan when you came down, did you?” Patton was getting a little worried about Logan. It was early, yes, but the logical side always made his appearance long before now.

“Haben’t sheen ‘im thish morning,” Roman said with a mouthful of pancake.

Patton hummed, set his and Logan’s plates on the table, and grabbed some forks. He sat down at the table, picking at the eggs a little. He would feel better about eating when Logan came. As if on cue, soft squeaks came from the staircase. “Huh, speak of the devil,” Roman mumbled. Patton immediately perked up.

“Good morning, Logan!” Patton shouted. Logan stopped at the bottom of the stairs and covered his ears.

“Too loud, Pat,” Logan grumbled, making his way slowly to the table.

Patton softly replied, “Sorry. I made breakfast.” He couldn’t help but notice the dark circles beneath Logan’s eyes as he approached; they were almost dark enough to rival Anxiety’s. Patton was very much hoping that Roman wouldn’t notice, if only to preserve the peace (and the rest of his good mood, but Patton didn’t want that to be the focus).

“Thank you.” Logan sat and went straight for the coffee, downing half of it in only a few seconds. So far, so good. “Ugh, aren’t I a little old for cat-shaped pancakes, Patton?”

Patton shook his head with a smile. “You’re never too old to have a Patton paw-ncake!” he said cheerily, batting a pawed hand in the air for emphasis.

“Wow, looks like someone’s been to the dark sides this morning. Can we get a bag check on Logan’s eyes?” said Roman, going for another mouthful of bacon.

Logan wasn’t amused. “I’m sorry some of us have to work overtime to make Thomas make the right decisions,” he spat. “Sometimes it’s like I’m the only adult here.” Patton felt that familiar pain ghost across his chest.

“Ex-cuse me, how dare you say such a thing, and when Padre was nice enough to make you breakfast! And anyways, you are NOT the only one who has to pull late nights, Snide and Prejudiced,” Roman countered.

Patton said, “It’s fine, Roman, ple—”

“Really?” Logan adjusted his glasses. “Because it seems to me like you only keep Thomas up at ungodly hours fantasizing about the things you want.”

“Oh, and you don’t?”

“As the most important side, no, I don’t.”

“Oh well ex-cuuuuuuse me, Mr. President—”

From there it devolved into them shouting over each other. Roman slung eggs and syrup everywhere while wildly gesticulating. Logan kept smacking the table trying to make his points. Chocolate milk was going everywhere. They had never been so tense with each other.

“Um, kiddos?” Patton said. Neither of them heard him in the midst of their shouting match. “Kiddos?” he said a little louder, reaching out toward them. “Maybe if we just—”

“THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU, PATTON!” both of them yelled. Patton recoiled. Another crack split painfully across his chest. Both of them went back to screaming at each other. He couldn’t stand to see them like this, even if they were hurting him in the process. What else could he do but meet them at their level?

Patton stood abruptly and slammed his hands down on the table. “That’s ENOUGH, both of you!” he scolded. They instantly hushed, flustered and in awe that Patton could even raise his voice. He took a breath and calmly continued, “Roman, I appreciate you defending me like the noble Prince you are, but it’s okay. We know that Logan isn’t the only one that works the graveyard shift, but we shouldn’t make fun of the sides that do when they’re not in their best shape. And Logan, I know you’re tired, but—”

“Yes, from trying to mitigate the effects you had on Thomas yesterday,” Logan interrupted. “We almost adopted one of those puppies when we have neither the resources nor the time to look after one. And who was the one who had to convince him that it was a bad idea? Me!”

Even though Patton wasn’t sorry about that in the slightest, he still apologized. “You did the right thing, Logan. Why don’t you go back to bed for a little while? You’ve earned it,” Patton said. “I’ll even keep your breakfast warm for you.”

Logan nodded and left wordlessly, taking the coffee mug with him back up the stairs. With him gone, Patton looked to Roman. “You owe him an apology, mister,” said Patton.

“What? Me? He was the one being snippier than an Edward Scissorhands wannabe!” Roman cried.

“Well, you didn’t help that, now did you? But he also owes you an apology, too.” That garnered a little “oh” from the Prince. Patton sighed and took Logan’s plate to the oven, turning it on to the lowest setting.

“You know we would’ve worked it out on our own eventually, right?” Roman said. “This is just what we do.”

“I know,” Patton responded. “I think … I should start cleaning up. There’s chocolate milk everywhere.”

Roman nodded. “Okay, Padre. Is there … something I can help with, at least?” He got up and handed his mostly empty plate to Patton.

“Thanks, but I can handle it,” Patton said softly, voice barely above a whisper. He felt Roman’s hand on his shoulder and looked up at the Prince.

“You shouldn’t worry about us so much. We’ll be fine. And, uh, I promise I’ll make it up to the Grinch up there,” said Roman with a small smile.

We don’t need you smothering us.

Great! Now Patton’s thoughts were going to take it upon themselves to put translations after the other’s words! Patton tried to return a smile despite the pain in his chest growing. It must’ve convinced him because Roman, with a final pat on his shoulder, turned and left. As soon as Roman was completely out of sight, Patton rubbed at the cracks to try and soothe their aching. It never worked, but it made him feel a little less like a sad dad. Oh well. At least they’d disappear soon enough.

Or not.

A few days after Losing Motivation came out, Patton had once again busied himself in the kitchen, this time baking chocolate chip cookies while humming along to the Disney showtunes that Roman had playing in the living room. No doubt Thomas would have them stuck in his head by the end of the day. Not that it was a problem in Patton’s mind; the music really helped him ignore the constant throbbing pain that those ugly fractures left on his chest. Better to have Disney showtunes on the brain than a recent ex-boyfriend, right?

The oven timer let out a short ding! at the start of the chorus to Prince Ali. “Oh cookie, where would I be if you weren’t hooooot,” Patton sang over the lyrics. He danced over to the oven while putting on heart-patterned oven mitts. “So full of sweets from eating way more than I ouuuuggghhht. To.” He took the finished cookies out of the oven and twirled around to the music, kicking the door closed and sliding the baking sheet onto the stove in one smooth motion.

Patton made quick work of getting them off the baking sheet and onto a plate. “Cookies are ready!” he shouted. Quick, thundering steps met his cry and in seconds, Roman was in the kitchen juggling three.

“Don’t mind if I do, Pat,” said Roman. Fear never deterred Roman, not even when in the face of third degree mouth burns from oven-fresh cookies. Patton would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud of his son for being so brave (even if another part of him was terrified of Roman getting hurt). “Hanksh,” he said with a mouthful of molten cookie, pretending that it wasn’t actually too hot but still doing the hashafashafa thing to cool it down while he ate.

“You’re welcome, son,” Patton replied. He looked at the cookies and remembered why he was making them in the first place. Ever since Anxiety had made himself known, Patton had been trying to reach out to him. Sure, he was dark and broody and sometimes the others had a little trouble seeing how important his contributions were, but he wasn’t the villain that they made him out to be. Anxiety deserved to feel welcome, and that was something Patton would always advocate for.

He set a few of the cookies on another plate for the rest of the sides (and himself) and poured a glass of milk. “Anxiety’s gonna love this!” He picked the cookies and milk up and danced them out of the kitchen, making sure to pass by Logan on the way. Not that it was hard, he was almost always studying at the dining room table. “Hey Logan, do you wanna eat a cookie?” Patton sung to the tune of Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?

Logan glanced up from his book. “I would prefer not to as I am attempting to set a good example for Thomas by abstaining from sugar,” Logan responded.

“Ah. Well, more for me and Anxiety, then!” said Patton. “If you change your mind, there are some more in the kitchen.”

Logan put the book down and said, “Hold on, are you telling me you’re still intent on making friends with him?”

“Well, yeah, what’s so bad about that?” Patton asked.

“I can’t believe I have to explain this to you again. Anxiety has no place with us, Patton, and it’s time that you stop pandering to him. There’s a very good reason why he lives with … them, and not us.”

The little fissures began slowly spreading. Patton was getting good at keeping it under wraps. And under shirts. “Now Logan, just because he’s a little different from us doesn’t mean that he has bad intentions. Sure, he started out in a bad place, but who’s to say that he can’t grow out of that? Sometimes, people just need a push in the right direction to shine. Bright like a diamond~,” Patton sang the last part, which earned him a groan. “I promise, if I felt fishy about any of this, I wouldn’t be doing it.”

“Why would you feel like a fish? Do fish even feel?” Logan said, genuinely perplexed.

Patton sighed. “Gosh, words can be tough. What I mean is that I don’t feel bad about reaching out to Anxiety, not when he’s been reaching out to us in his own way. I don’t get the feeling that he means us harm.”

“But you have to admit that when it comes to character judgement, you can be too forgiving,” Logan said.

“… Is that a bad thing?” Patton quietly replied, wincing a little as the cracks splintered further.

Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Patton, are you feeling alright?” he asked.

Oh, no.

“Of … course I am!” Patton said. “I’m Morality, why wouldn’t I be feeling?”

Logan grunted and adjusted his glasses. “Let me rephrase that. Patton, moments ago, you clearly indicated you were in pain. Am I interpreting this cue correctly?”

“Um …” Patton stalled. Maybe it was time to tell someone about this; it wasn’t like he could keep hiding it forever. With a sigh, he replied, “Yeah.” Oh no no no no, he couldn’t do this.

Logan stood there silently for a few moments before realizing that no explanation was going to come out of him without prompting. “Would you care to explain what’s causing it? I can perform first aid if necessary,” he said, stepping toward Patton.

Patton backed away and put his hands up. “I’m alright, really. It’s just … a little heartburn is all. You know me, not waiting until the cookies are cool to start munchin’! It should go away soon,” he replied. He couldn’t describe how badly he wanted to get out from under Logan’s scrutiny.

“If that’s all, then, here,” Logan conjured some Tums, “please take two of these.” He offered the bottle to Patton, who took it with a smile.

“Thank you, Logan, where would we be without you?” said Patton. He took some out of the bottle and made a show of chewing them up. Even if he didn’t really need them, he wanted to be sure that Logan felt listened to.

“What is that on your neck?” Logan asked, gesturing on himself where he thought he saw something.

“Hmm?�� Patton felt around in that general area, squeaking softly when he felt a small but deep fracture across his skin. How did he not notice that before? Quick, Patton, think of something! “It’s uh … it’s chocolate!”

Logan’s eyes narrowed again. “Chocolate?”

Patton smiled. “Yeeeaahhhh, I must’ve gotten chocolate on myself when I was making these cookies. Silly me,” he lied, waving a dismissive hand. Well, it wasn’t totally a lie; he did still have some chocolate on his hands.

That seemed to sate the logical side. “Very well then, be sure to wash that off. And I know that no matter what I say, you’re still going to take your cookies to Anxiety. Just, please be careful around him, no matter how he makes you feel. We do still need you to help keep Thomas functioning normally,” said Logan.

“Thank you, Logan, I appreciate that. I promise I’ll be careful,” Patton said with a smile. Logan gave him a curt nod and went back to his studies. Some of the pain subsided with that last comment, which Patton was very grateful for. If it had been anywhere near what it was before, he couldn’t have done what he had set out to do without cuing Anxiety on to his problems. With as much of a smile as he could muster, Patton picked up the cookies and milk and headed down to Anxiety’s room. Thankfully, Logan didn’t notice him adjusting his cardigan along the way.

Patton always thought it was odd that the doorway to the darker side of Thomas’s mind would be inside the broom closet at the end of the hall. In another way, it made a lot of sense when he thought about it a little harder. Anything he wanted hidden would be stowed in here for safe keeping until he was ready to confront it. Plus, it made an excellent visual pun that made Patton giggle every once in a while. He opened the door, carefully balancing the plate on his arm.

“Let’s see, last time I made two rights, a left at the weird eyeball painting that stares at you, another right, then a left, and it’s the last door on the left,” Patton mumbled to himself as he walked through the dark side’s labyrinthine corridors. “Please let there be no spiders this time.”

In between the first two rights, a yellow-gloved hand slithered its way around the edge of the corner in front of Patton, making him stop dead in his tracks. No no no, not now! “Well well well, if it isn’t Morality,” Deceit stepped out in front of Patton, “have you finally decided to join us AND bring us cookies? I know we would all be devastated if you did.” His ever-present smirk seemed even more delighted than normal.

“Um, no. I’m just bringing Anxiety some cookies like I’ve been doing for a while now. You know that,” Patton replied. This definitely wasn’t making him uneasy.

“Indeed I do, and I also know something else.” Deceit strode forward until he was uncomfortably close. “You’ve been hiding something I find to be … most exquisite. If you keep that up, you’re liable to put me out of a job. Tell me, how long do you think you can play my game but keep me away from the field? Or even better,” he slowly circled Patton, eyes ever trained on him, “how long do you think you can keep their prying eyes away from your little secret?” He gently touched the center of Patton’s chest, which made him hiss and nearly drop the cookies and milk.

Patton had to take a moment to catch his breath. “I refuse to … make this their problem,” he gasped. He could’ve sworn he saw a few glowing drops of his essence through his shirt where Deceit’s finger had been.

“Oh, of course you don’t. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that one. They’re obviously trying to hurt you by saying and doing all of these little things and telling them this would only make them want to do it more,” Deceit said, coming to stop in front of Patton.

“Look, I know you’re just trying to look out for me in your … own way and I appreciate it, but please, Dee … I can’t tell them this. It would break them even more than it’s breaking me— and I won’t have it.”

Deceit’s smile faded. “You don’t want to listen to reason? Fine. But I leave you with this,” he shook a finger and slowly began sinking out, “what would hurt them more: the others finding out about this now or the others finding out about this when you’re in itty. Bitty. Pieces?” His last words echoed through the empty halls, chilling Patton to his core.

He knew Deceit was right, in his own roundabout way. That was one of his greatest assets: he was a brilliant analyst despite his airs, one that could keenly rival Logan’s perceptive inclinations. It was also what Patton dreaded about him. He couldn’t hide anything from Deceit, not that there was much he could do to hide all the cracks given how many there were.

“No!” Patton said to himself. This wasn’t the time for getting absorbed in thoughts! This was supposed to be bonding-with-his-precious-anxious-baby time, gosh darn it, and he was not going to waste any more time thinking about all the things that were hurting him! Putting on his best determined dad face, Patton quickly marched toward Anxiety’s room.

Before he could get too far, though, he saw Anxiety’s familiar, brooding figure lurking through the halls. He perked up almost imperceptibly when he saw Patton coming. “Oh, there you are. Not like I was worried about you being late or anything,” he said, fiddling with his hoodie strings.

Patton just smiled, relieved that Anxiety hadn’t noticed the little, slightly glowing stains on the front of his shirt. “Of course not. Shall we?” he replied. Anxiety nodded.

The two shared a nice, albeit short, time in Anxiety’s room talking through everything they could. Anxiety’s particular favorite seemed to be picking through Disney movies (or really any movie) to find all of the dark origins or morbid underlying themes they held. While Patton liked being able to spend time with Anxiety, the combination of being in his room for longer than around half an hour and the negative talk were lying heavily on his chest. Still, he never let it show that those cracks were slowly spider-webbing across his skin.

By the end of the day, every step was a Herculean task for Patton. He barely made it back to his room without stumbling. Still, there was one last thing to be done: survey the damage he had accrued. He trudged into the bathroom and grasped the sink with shaking arms, head hanging heavily. “Alright, head up on three, Patton. One, two, three,” he said, letting go of the sink and looking up in the mirror. Despite his weathered appearance, not much could be seen with his shirt still on aside from two small fractures that forked up either side of his neck. The few that had made it past his sleeves were so thin that he didn’t even notice them at first. Patton sighed. He really didn’t want to look at the epicenter of the damage. “Right after this, you can go to bed,” he bartered with his reflection. He gently lifted the hem of his shirt up and nearly fainted from what he saw.

The cracks at the center of Patton’s chest had turned more into chasms where his skin had chipped away like broken porcelain. His essence shone through, now a raging blue storm that threatened to break through the invisible barrier where his skin should be. From there, the light bled through into the smaller fissures that spanned his entire torso, front and back. He knew it was bad, but it had never been to this extent. He gently touched the edge of the center break and accidentally dipped his finger into the blue fluid. The tears he had repressed welled up in his eyes, spurred on by a jolt of raw emotion. Patton quickly wiped the fluid off onto his pants. The tears no longer had any driving force behind them.

“Oh Patton, you’ve got to remember not to do that,” he once again told his reflection. He had forgotten how much emotional sway his essence had when he touched it. Patton knew he couldn’t keep the happy act up like this. So, what else could he do but make himself as scarce as possible until it healed at least a little bit?

And that’s exactly what he did.

[thedivinegay]

on episode 34

Y'all know how much I love the hng drama - I think it's an amazing adaptation that stays true to the original while still doing its own thing. In my opinion everything they omitted or changed up to yesterday was either not hurting the story or even improving upon it. But I have to say, episode 34 was the first time I was disappointed by this show.

Episode 33 was still pretty great - Shi Guang's grief was just as well-done as in the manga. But the problems already started here when they failed to make it clear exactly why Shi Guang decides not to play go anymore - not because he's sad, or doesn't enjoy go anymore, but because he feels guilty.

In the original it's made very clear that Hikaru feels immense guilt for not letting Sai play, for putting his own desire to play first. He thinks that if he stops playing right then and there he can prove that he can be better, that he recognizes his mistake, that he can be selfless and go without playing in the future if only Sai comes back to him. It's an incredible display of what grief does to the human mind, and it's arguably what cemented the original as a real classic and more than "just" a sports manga/anime. All of that complex emotion is shortly hinted at in the end of episode 33 when Shi Guang says "you'll play" but it isn't nearly as clear or handled nearly as well as in the original.

This is partly due to a general lack of introspection in the drama compared to the original. Which is normal for a live-action and wasn't as important before, because until Sai's disappearance it was mostly used during games and they didn't put as much focus on those in the drama anyway. But here the look into Shi Guang's thoughts and emotions is sorely missing, and they really should have found a way to make it work.

And then, episode 34. When I saw that Shen Yi Lang returned and that they seemed to take the same route for Shi Guang's change of mind as in the original, I was happy and thought they might make up for what they missed last episode. Except they really didn't. They had Shen Yi Lang go to him, guilt-trip and scream at him for what he did in the grading tournament, and that was that.

Hikaru silently swearing to Sai he's only doing this for Isumi's sake, not because he wants to play for himself, plus the way he tries and fails not to enjoy the game after not having played for so long, was another very strong moment from the original that perfectly showcased Hikaru's state of mind during that time. But once again they decided to forgo internal throughts and emotions for external drama, and once again I was disappointed. Of course that game originally lead to him "finding" Sai as well, but we'll get to that later.

Because THEN - maybe the most upsetting scene of all. What the fuck was that conversation with Yu Liang!?? Instead of trying to support Shi Guang or keep trying to find out what happened, he basically tells him he was never worried for him, only for himself because he'd lose his rival (despite previously denying he only saw Shi Guang as a motivator) and then straight up gives up on him and their friendship, going as far as trying to erase their history and pretend they never met each other. Wow. With how much the drama previously pushed their friendship, that was the last thing I expected. If anything, I expected them to make Yu Liang the person who brings Shi Guang back to playing go. Instead, they made him abandon Shi Guang almost instantly...? I just couldn't believe it. That either means Yu Liang is cowardly running away from his own feelings or he truly doesn't care for Shi Guang, both of which doesn't match his personality and his previous actions at all.

After they passed up two perfect opportunities for the big realization - once with Shen Yi Lang and once with Yu Liang - Shi Guang goes back to his room and suddenly puts some stones on the board. For what reason, exactly? We don't know. We have no idea why he suddenly decides to play again. They threw away the pretext of helping Shen Yi Lang and nothing Yu Liang said would resolve that feeling of guilt that keeps him from playing either. So it really doesn't make any sense at all that he'd suddenly change his mind. But not only that, they also rob us of the moment where Hikaru finally finds Sai inside his go through one of his own moves, and instead give us a strange conversation with imaginary (?) Chu Ying and a cgi (?? something looked so off about it) snapback cap version of himself...? Which was probably an attempt at portraying that realization of his but lbr that was super weird and not emotional and simply didn't work at all. A bad ending for an already bad episode, and afterwards I just felt disappointed and dejected.

Okay well, I don't know why but I really needed to vent about that. Keep in mind that I'm only being so critical because I think that drama is actually stellar so I had high hopes for this particular part of the story and was saddened to see they failed to deliver. I still love it a lot and I'm really looking forward to watching episode 35 and 36 because it seems that it will return to what I think are its big strengths, human interactions and situational comedy. The fact that they messed this one thing up so badly is a pity but no series is perfect and I'm surprised it took them 33 episodes to get something wrong. I suppose I just wanted to get this off my chest so I can go into the last two episodes with a free mind.

[schrijverr]

Authentic

While writing HNOC, Jonny suddenly puts on an accent, when it isn’t well recieved at first, he gets weird. He is withdrawn and agreeble, concerned the others corner him and find out it is his original accent. He storms off and is comforted by Brian.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none really, but tell me if I missed one or if you want me to tag something!

~~~~~~~~~~

Brian had not been pleased when he had finally been freed from the core of the sun around which Fort Galfridean had orbited, but he’d cheered up a bit after the Mechs had agreed this tale was good enough to be told.

They’d started writing it. First getting a feel for the songs to see, which voice fitted where, shots had been fired, First Mates had died, nothing important. An outline had been made as well, giving a broad idea of the spoken parts and the songs.

Now they were sitting in a circle with their instruments, ready to try some melodies and tweak the lyrics. They had agreed on the beginning, mostly, the first part was written down and Ashes said: “I think we should have Lavinia Stone explain why they’re going to shoot.”

“You mean when she told them they could run the town if they killed her and took her sheriff star?” Brian asked.

“Yeah, that.” Ashes replied, “You know what she told them exactly?”

Brian thought for a second, then unsure said: “I think she used son of a bitch? Maybe tin star and rightwise sheriff of the town or something in that direction? Does that help?”

“Yeah, that might work.” Jonny agreed, “Uhm, what about something like this: Any sonnabitch can pull this tin star from me, makes ‘em rightwise sheriff o’ this town.”

He scratched his nose and shook his head as he whispered to himself: “No, needs a few more words.”

Clicking his tongue he thought for a second, then his face lit up and he proudly said: “Any sumbitch can pull this tin star from my stone cold hands, makes ‘em rightwise sheriff o’ this here town. ‘Cause she’s Lavinia STONE.”

The smirk turned into a frown when he looked at the others. All had a confused expression on their face, eyes filled with question marks. Jonny had no clue what that was about and muttered: “We don’t have to use that part, geez. Just tell me if it sucks.”

That snapped most out of it and Tim said: “No, it’s not that, just wow, that was weird.”

“What?” now it was Jonnys turn to be confused.

“Did you not hear what you just did?” Ashes asked.

“I suggested something for the song and you all got weird about it.” Jonny frowned, not comprehending what they were getting at.

Ashes facepalmed and Tim exclaimed: “The fucking accent, Jonny, where the fuck did that come from?”

Understanding appeared on Jonnys face and lightly embarrassed he shrugged: “Thought it might be fun. Brian said some of them talked funny and from his horrible impersonation, I gathered it sounded something like this. Besides, it adds a bit to the atmosphere, right?”

The others found that explanation enough and agreed that it did sound fun, before they moved on to the next part, squabbling like normal until Brian came in and Galahad was introduced.

Lyrics was as easy as it had ever been, which is to say not that easy but with years of practice they managed, and it was only when they did a quick test run that it went wrong. Jonny was in the middle of his part when Tim interrupted: “Do you have to give him the accent too?”

Jonny stopped mid sentence and indignantly asked: “What’s wrong with the accent?”

“It’s inconsistent.” Tim told him.

“What! My accent is not inconsistent, what are you on about?” Jonny exclaimed, getting offended and a bit of fear, that no one could place, creeping into his voice.

Brian tried to keep the peace and said: “I think what Tim means is that none of us are using an accent, so although it is accurate it might be weird that only some of the characters have it, you know?”

“Well, why don’t y’all do the accent too then?” Jonny pouted.

“Oh, really, letting it bleed over now are you. What are you trying to prove?” Tim snapped.

If anyone had been paying close attention they would have seen that Jonny flinched back slightly at that, but no one did.

“I think none of us can keep that up, Jonny.” Brian tried to placate him, “You already said I did a horrible job at it.”

Jonny sighed and moped: “Okay, fine, but I personally think it sounds better with the accent.”

“Sure, lets just start from the top again.” Ashes said.

They all got in position again and started again. This time when they got to Galahads part, Jonny played up his normal British accent as much as possible. He was stopped again, this time by Marius: “Really, Jonny? Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean you don’t get to take it seriously.”

“I am taking it seriously, I did exactly what you wanted. Nothing is good enough around here.” Jonny pouted earnestly.

“Why are you so insistent on using the accent?” Marius asked him.

Jonny opened his mouth, but closed it before a sound could come out and bit his lip. He swallowed and shrugged: “I’m not, just sang like normal. But also it’s accurate? And it sounds better?”

He grabbed some notes for the next part and explained: “I mean what sounds better out of the two of these: ‘Don’t recall asking for your opinion, son.’ or ‘I don’t think I asked for you input, my friend’?”

“If you exaggerate it like that, of course it will sound dumb, but the accent you’re doing is even dumber.” Tim said, not willing to abandon his side and say Jonny was right.

Some of the others agreed and something shut behind Jonnys eyes as he relented.

The others were glad this wouldn’t end as a big fight, which would be a mess to clean up, but Jonny wasn’t the same afterwards. He kept his mouth shut most of the time, no banter and no unnecessary commentary.

They tried to go on, but with Jonnys mood it was almost impossible, so they decided to leave finishing and cultivating the first draft for later and take a break.

The moment it was decided Jonny was out of the room, yelling something over his shoulder about a smoke, despite the fact that smoking was allowed everywhere on the Aurora. No one stopped him, however, just watching him go. Tim commented: “The asshole.”

Ashes smirked and Marius rolled his eyes, but Brian was a bit concerned about their First Mates reaction. Still, he knew following him and asking if he was alright, wouldn't be appreciated, so he left him to himself, but he resolved to keep an eye on him.

It seemed to be over the next day, Jonny had shut up about the accent and everything went on as normal, he did sound more British than normal, though, but not enough to be truly notable.

There did seem to be less fighting, though. Every time it seemed a fight would’ve normally broken out between Jonny and someone else (Jonny was usually the one fighting the most), Jonny would relent and let the other do their thing.

At first, no one was questioning this sudden change of character since it made the process go a whole lot smoother. Brian had frowned at the start, but Jonny didn’t seem to mind still just grinning like normal, so he hadn’t said anything about it.

Then that changed.

They’d finished the first draft and although no one member was more important than the other, it was the collective group that made it the best. And while Jonny wasn’t always prominent in the writing of the notes you could see him reflected in the lyrics, but his presence was now obviously missing.

This became even more apparent when they played it for the first time, stopping from time to time to make notes and suggestions.

Everyone had picked up on it, everyone except Jonny apparently. He was either playing oblivious or really hadn’t noticed the others silences that he hadn’t filled when they were taking suggestions on parts he hadn’t had a say in yet.

They were a bit sick of it. Was he still mad at them for yesterday? He seemed fine, but they all had masks. Was he deliberately being an asshole in the hope they would apologize or something? No, he wouldn’t do that, well he would be a deliberate asshole, but not over this. Unless this wasn’t like normal?

“What do you think, Jonny?” Brian asked.

“Hm?” Jonny looked up, “Oh, uhm, seems fine.”

He smiled at them, but they weren’t really sure he knew what it was about with the way his eyes were a bit distant.

“What were we talking about?” Tim asked, getting a bit frustrated.

Jonny blinked and uncertainly said: “The lyrics for the song about Mordred returning to the Saxons?”

“No,” Tim sighed, “about the love song between the three Pendragons. Are you even paying attention?”

He winced and replied: “Yes, just got a tad distracted. What was the original question?”

Tim was about to get angry, so Brian intervened: “I was wondering what you thought. This part here doesn’t flow so well.”

Brain pointed at the sheet in Jonnys hand and Jonny read it out loud to himself: “Guinevere you’re my stars, Arthur you’re my night. I know we have to ride at the dawns first light. And I’m not saying that this crusade isn’t right. But first we fuel a few more sins with whiskey.”

Jonny was quiet as he thought. He seemed to come up with something, because his eyes did the light up thing they always got when he had an idea, but then they dulled and he didn’t say a thing.

After a while he shrugged and said: “I don’t know.”

Now everyone was getting worried. If there was one thing Jonny loved, it was stealing the show by coming up with something and fixing a problem. It could be annoying if it wasn’t helpful.

He did not stay silent.

“Are you sure?” Brian asked, “It seemed like you thought of something.”

Jonny bit his lip, before carefully saying: “I thought- uhm, maybe? I think I could fix it, but I don’t know if you’ll like it.”

“Why do you think that? We won’t know unless we’ve heard it, so just tell us and we’ll decide ourselves.” Brian encouraged him.

Nodding slightly, Jonny started to sing: “Guinevere you’re my stars, Arthur you’re my night. I know we’ve got to ride at the dawns first light. And I ain’t saying this preacher man’s crusade ain’t right. But first we fuel a few more sins with whiskey.”

Jonny tried to gauge their reactions and quickly said: “I know y’all don’t like the accent and think it’s dumb, but the words make it fit better. Of course, we don’t have to do it. It was just a suggestion, you know.”

“No, no, that fits.” Ashes told him.

His shoulder sagged a bit with relief and he smiled at them before he wrote the new lyrics down. He did not notice he was the only one changing the lyrics.

While he was doing that, Brain and Marius shared a concerned look that the others caught on to and made them look at Jonny again and think. Then Marius said: “Hey, Jonny?”

“Yes?” Jonny asked looking up.

“Why do you know so much about this one accent and use of language?” Marius replied, immediately adding: “Not that that’s a bad thing of course, just curious.”

“I don’t know that much about it.” Jonny dodged the question.

“Yes, you do.” Tim inserted himself into the conversation as well.

Jonny huffed and crossed his arms as he said: “It doesn’t matter, why do you care so much anyway. I thought you found it dumb.”

“Because you’re suddenly acting weird after we brought it up.” Tim exclaimed.

That startled Jonny a bit, but he yelled back: “I do not.”

“Yes, you are.” Tim frowned angrily and began to list, “You’re not making useless comments, no banter, exaggerating your British accent, you’re not giving your own opinions, you’re fucking agreeable, Jonny. You’re never agreeable, so excuse us for wanting to know what the fuck is going on with you.”

“There’s nothing going on with me, I tried something and it failed, so I shut up.” Jonny spat, “I’m fine.”

“What did you try? What on earth did you try to make you act like this when it failed.” Tim had stood up now to continue their fighting match, properly.

Brian, however, wasn’t having it and pushed him back down in his seat as he shouted: “Lets all just calm down for one second, okay.”

Both took a deep breath and just glared at each other.

Gently Marius broke the silence: “Jonny, you try a lot of things that don’t succeed, why does this one bother you so much. I know Tim wasn’t the best at telling you this, but we’re just worried about you.”

Jonny swallowed heavily and blinked heavily a few times. He tried to start a few times, but then just stopped, choosing to dismiss it: “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“The more you dodge it, the more it seems like a big deal and we’re not continuing until you tell us.” Ashes told him. From where they were resting on the couch, all sprawled out, they looked like how they’d been when they were Hades. The royal feeling rolled off of them and Jonny couldn’t help, but listen.

“It’s, uhm, I’m from New Texas.” he finally settled on saying.

When that didn’t clear anything up he explained: “It’s not the same system as orbited around Avalon, but it’s close.”

The realization dawned on everyone that the accent they’d thought he’d been putting on was his original accent and the way he spoke now could be considered him putting on an accent. They’d never realized that he could have a different accent since the rest of them, except for Nastya, had the same one.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Jonny. We hadn’t realized.” Brian said.

Jonny squirmed in his place uncomfortably and shrugged: “It’s no big deal.”

“Seems like it is though, I know you don’t like me psychoanalyzing you, but this made you more upset than anything else I’ve seen.” Marius told him.

That earned him a scowl from Jonny, who replied: “Stay away from my brain, Marius. It’s none of your business.”

Meanwhile, Tim was still thinking about Jonnys change of accent without really paying attention to what the others were saying, so he blurted out: “So where did your accent go then? Nastya still had hers, despite being on this ship for quite a long time.”

The scowl deepened and Jonny said: “That’s also none of your fucking business.”

“Does it have anything to do with why you’re so upset?” Marius asked.

Completely fed up, Jonny roared: “Yes.” and stomped off.

As they watched him go, Ashes commented: “That could’ve gone a lot smoother.”

Beside them Brian pinched his nose and sighed: “Yes. Yes, it could have.”

“Should we go check on him?” Tim asked,a bit taken aback by the reaction and feeling guilty a bit too.

“No, I think we’ve done enough for today. I’ll check up on him in a few hours.” Brian told him.

The rest of the day came and went and soon it was time for Brian to see how their First Mate was fairing. He hesitated outside his room for a second, then he knocked.

It was quiet for a beat, then he hear Jonnys voice: “What do you want?”

“It’s me, Brian. I came to check up on you. I know you don’t want me to, but just open the door so I  can see you’re at least a bit okay and I’ll leave you alone.” Brian answered.

He heard grumbling, but also movement, so he smiled at his little victory.

The door slid open and Jonny looked at the ground and said: “See, I’m fine. Now go away.”

Brian raised a brow and rolled his eyes, before he squatted down a bit and gently put a finger under Jonnys chin to raise his face to make eye contact. Jonnys eyes were shining with the wetness of tears not yet fallen, but his makeup hadn’t been smudged, which Brian counted as a win.

What he didn’t count as a win, however, was that Jonny wasn’t even fighting him about this treatment. He just stood there silently and stared at Brian, all fight drained out of his body with the opening of his door.

Brian broke the silence softly: “If you want I can leave now, but I’m happy to stay. You don’t have to talk, just company.”

Jonny worried his lip between his teeth as a mental battle waged behind his eyes. Then he quietly said: “Don’t tell the others?”

“Of course not.” Brian replied with a kind smile, closing the door behind him as he lead Jonny to his bed.

Brian leaned against the wall and allowed Jonny to crawl up beside him, before pulling the blanket over the two of them. He gently rubbed Jonnys back and sat quietly with his eyes closed and his mind calm.

He knew Jonny was more tactile than he’d have you believe. All the crew was familiar with the ways he would brush up against people, accidentally bump into them or started a fistfights when he was feeling lonely.

No one ever said anything about it, but they tried their best to pander to it. Everyone had something after all.

After nearly thirty minutes of comfortable silence Jonny said: “I know it’s stupid to be upset about. I just- never mind.”

“It isn’t stupid at all.” Brian told him.

“Yes, it is.” Jonny moped, “Just because she beat it out of me doesn’t mean that it isn’t just an accent.”

He didn’t even seem to realize what he had just confessed, instead angrily staring at Brians thigh and plucking on a lose thread of Brians pants, Brian knew he would probably offer to fix it later as a thank you or apology, unable to voice it.

Brian carded a hand through Jonnys hair and said: “You know, I don’t even speak this language.”

“What?” Jonny asked, not looking up, but leaning into the touch.

“I borrowed a book from Ivy about my own planet, it talked about the language and how it’s one of the few places that hasn’t switched to Basic yet. There was a passage in the language, but I couldn't understand a word, not programmed for it, I guess.” Brian explained.

“Oh, I’m- I’m sorry, that sucks.” Jonny mumbled.

Brian shrugged and said: “Yeah, kind of. I know I’m not that Brain, never really was, but it still hurt. I locked myself at the helm for two months to process. Isn’t that stupid?”

“No. No, it’s not.” Jonny frowned, plucking harder, “That’s upsetting to learn, you just reacted like anyone else would.”

“You’re right.” Brian agreed, for a moment Jonny was confused, but then Brian cleared it up: “So, why is it stupid when you’re upset?”

“I don’t know.” Jonny pouted.

“You don’t have to know. Sometimes a brain is just stupid, but that has nothing to do with you. You’re allowed to just be upset.” Brian told him.

Jonny huffed: “You sound like Marius.”

“Marius isn’t always wrong, even when he is an idiot from time to time.” Brian said.

They fell into a comfortable silence again after that. The rhythmic motion of Brian petting Jonnys hair soothing them both.

Then after a while, Brian said: “For the record, I liked the accent you gave Galahad, you really sounded like him. Tim probably did too, he just wanted a fight I think.”

“Really?” Jonny asked after a beat of silence.

Brian smiled: “Yeah, really. I think that if you bring it up again, the others are probably a lot more receptive. You know how they love dramatics and what is more dramatic then an album with authentic vocabulary and accents just for accuracy?”

Jonny grinned: “Not much.”

“Exactly.” Brian nodded, then he stayed silent until Jonny had fallen asleep.

The next morning the two of them made their way to breakfast. Jonny was his chipper self again and bounced around Brian as he excitedly told him about the dream he had in which it had been him against an entire army, pretty violent over all, but Jonny had won and found himself quite the badass, despite the fact that it was a dream and he had not actually done that.

He didn’t even notice how the others lost their tenseness when he’d come in. All had been afraid that he would still be upset, but it seemed Brian had been a good influence.

They all ate, before going back to the practice room. The plan was to start going over everything again, just the next draft until everything was perfect, but before they could start Jonny nervously asked: “Hey, uhm, I was just wondering if y’all’d be okay if I tried the accent again with Galahad. I think it would enrich the album and if all y’all don’t like it, we can scrap it again.”

“I think that would be a great idea, Jonny.” Marius smiled at him.

Relief washed over Jonnys face and he smiled back.

In the end they kept the accent in there and watching Jonny go apeshit every single time he got to perform Hellfire was completely worth it.

[snidgetwidgeon]

Insurrection Recollections Series: Clandestine Research

After Zelda's father orders her to give up her research, Zelda and Purah hatch a plan. The only way it will succeed is if Link intervenes.

~~~

The day after her father told her she could no longer waste her time by playing the scholar, Zelda was issued an official written directive via castle courier as if she were one of his subordinates. She was livid. It instructed her to relinquish all of her ancient technology artefacts and materials to the Tech Lab by the end of the week. Oh how considerate of him to give me some time to sort out my busy schedule! She tore the missive to pieces and threw it in the fireplace.

Fine. She would do it post haste to the detriment of everything else she had going on. Studies with her economy instructor? Nope, she had a directive. Receiving the latest visiting dignitary in court that evening? Nope, she had a directive from the King. A fruitless visit to the Spring of Power to perform devotions that brought her nothing but scorn from her own people? Thank Nayru she had a Goddess damned directive from her father that allowed her to avoid the very thing she no longer wanted to do anyway!

Link looked on as Princess Zelda stomped back and forth between her room and study, forgetting things in her state and then becoming even more upset. He had offered his help but she refused so he stood watch on the bridge. The best he could do was stay out of her way and be available at a moment’s notice.

When she finally got to her journal, having left it for last, she closed the door to her study to have a moment of privacy. As she re-read some of the pages detailing her adventures into archaeology, she thought about how they were merely notes and should not be subject to the purge. She decided to keep it.

Emerging from her study with a resolve that Link could see was strained at best, Zelda nodded to him that she was ready to leave. He hailed an available attendant and they assisted in carrying items down to the stables. Even with Zelda insisting on carrying some things herself, the attendant would need to make one more trip and grab another person along the way.

While the rest was being collected, Zelda and Link saddled up the horses in silence. To anyone else, this would seem no different from the early days of their time together when she resented him and their silence was cold and strained. Now it was a companionable silence. He caught her looking at him over her horse’s back as she was tightening her straps. He smiled.

She felt a flush and a sudden need to make an excuse. “You always have such a way with horses...” She then ducked behind hers and pretended to do something else.

Between their mounts and a third mare carrying normal travel supplies, they were able to take everything. Zelda also wore a satchel on her back with a few of the more delicate items. As they made their way through the grounds, Link steered his horse around slightly, indicating down the path that led to the docks and asked, “Shall we take the ferry?”

“No, thank you.” She looked straight ahead with her nose stuck figuratively up toward her father as she passed him. “I would like to make this trip last as long as possible if you don’t mind.”

~~~

They arrived in the evening, just in time for dinner. Zelda and Link had agreed on the way there that she could have a night of normalcy. While she went in, he attended the horses and unloaded everything, stacking it in a tidy pile just inside the workshop to be dealt with in the morning. He then joined the others, received a heaping serve of beef curry and proceeded to keep mostly to himself as he was wont to do in large social gatherings. 

He watched Zelda closely, but not obviously, and noticed how very bittersweet it all was for her. She would no doubt be wishing it could be like any other visit. She laughed and carried on with the others, sharing how well the trials at the castle had gone the previous day. But he could see it. Any small moment where she wasn’t engaged with someone, her face fell and the light was gone from her eyes. When Purah noticed and asked if she was alright, she easily brushed it off by saying she was just tired from her busy schedule and a full day of travel.

The following morning, Link was in tow when Zelda entered Purah’s messy workspace with the Sheikah Slate. They had already seen to the items in the workshop, making sure they were distributed to the proper places around the Lab.

“Good morning, good morning! You’re just in time- oh, I’m so glad you brought the Slate. I meant to send word that you should come by the Lab soon so I could use it, but you must have read my mind because here you are; and I completely forgot to send the word.” She put her arm around Zelda’s shoulders and guided her to the large stone in the middle of the room, “Come, I want you to look at this and tell me what you think.”

Zelda let herself be dragged over but instead of looking at the stone, she sort of glazed over in an effort to shield herself from more pain. “Purah, I must apologize.”

“What for? Give it a second, I didn’t expect you to figure it out right away, silly.”

“No, I mean- I should have told you first thing last night.” She handed the Sheikah Slate to Purah who took it with brows furrowed in concern but also remained quiet to listen to her friend.

“Father has ordered me to focus all of my attention on my training. I’m- I can no longer assist the research team. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just... kind of wanted to pretend it didn’t happen for as long as I could.”

“Oh, Zelly, no. It’s ok.” Purah gave her a quick but sincere hug before going off. “Din’s balls, this is the pits! I’ll be lodging a formal complaint- you watch me- he can’t take away one of my best researchers.” She waved the Slate around dramatically. “Now I’m going to have to find a new translator; who does he think he is!?”

Zelda started giggling. As always, Purah’s infectious energy and earnestness made her feel a bit less crap when she was down. “The King,” Zelda’s giggling evolved into open laughter. ”He’s the King, Purah.”

Purah just pushed up her glasses and said matter-of-factly, “Well... King or no King, he’s acting like a fool.”

Link smiled from his post across the room thinking about how he couldn’t agree more. The day before yesterday on the bridge he had questioned if his oath to protect the Princess extended to defending her from the King himself.

“Were you leaving today?” Purah asked, but didn’t let Zelda answer and kept talking, “You’re not leaving today. I need your help with something and you aren’t officially done until you leave, you hear? Come with me.” She strode out of her office on a mission.

Zelda smiled after her and then looked at Link with a raised brow asking- not for his approval, but more his opinion. He merely shrugged and gestured that she should follow the woman.

Over the course of the day Link observed their antics and found moments to opportunistically disappear when it looked like they were going to need a person for some sort of trial. That night, some celebrations ramped up as Purah decided to throw a gratitude party to thank Zelda for all that she had contributed. Link thought that idea was pretty smart, making it look like Zelda’s choice to take on other important tasks. This way, she could leave with her head held high, at least until she was out of sight.

About mid morning the following day, Link got the horses ready for the return home and then realized he may have been a bit preemptive when he went to collect Zelda. She and Purah looked at him like startled foxes when he entered Purah’s office and they proceeded to finish their conversation in hushed voices.

Perhaps Zelda wanted to stay on longer? Then Purah spoke normally again and handed Zelda a book. “So, if you could just take that one back to my room, that would be great.”

Zelda nodded and said nonchalantly, “No problem.”

As she walked out, Link started to follow, but Purah exclaimed, “Oh, Link! Could you help me carry these?” She grinned, “Please?”

“Um, sure. What is it?” he asked when he didn’t see anything specific that she was asking about.

“Just a sec!” Her eyes darted around and she grabbed a box that already had a few guardian pieces in it which she proceeded to unceremoniously dump in the middle of the floor. She then flitted around the room grabbing random items to throw in the box that she needed ‘help’ carrying.

He wandered over to the second story window to check on the horses outside while he waited to see how- whatever it was that she was up to- played out. He didn’t have to wait long at all as he noticed Zelda, distinctly not in Purah’s room, and still holding onto that book. He immediately knew what it was. Ancient contraband.

She approached her white horse and gave it a scratch as she went to place the book in her saddlebags. As she lifted the flap she hesitated for a moment. He smirked as she went over to his horse instead and buried the book into his saddle bag. Clever, but not clever enough. If she was worried that her father might go as far as to search her things when she returned, then he was not going to take the chance that they wouldn’t do the same to him. He’d have to hide it better later.

“Right! So... this stuff here. Could you please take it downstairs?” Purah requested with another cheesy grin.

He balked a little at everything sticking out of it. She couldn’t at least have made her distraction easy? He gave a little sigh, “No problem.”

~~~

That night as Zelda slept by the campfire, Link snuck over to the horses and quietly dug through his saddle bag for the book. She tucked it right at the bottom under the other book he generally kept with him in case he ever had time to kill. He looked back over to her sleeping form and surreptitiously stuck it behind his back just inside the waistband of his trousers, then tightened his belt over it a bit. Sleep would be a bit less comfortable and he’d have to wear his cloak over it even if he got warm tomorrow, but that should do the trick.

When they arrived back home, Link clocked that their approach was noticed with a bit more interest than usual. Zelda may not have been wrong in her suspicions regarding her father; the King was becoming more stressed and paranoid by the day.

They were met at the West gatehouse by a young castle guard who looked nervous. “Many pardons Princess Zelda, but we have instructions to check your cargo.”

She kept her calm and said coldly, “Do as you will.”

Another guard approached to help and she felt her ire rise as they rummaged through her things right next to her. She didn’t bother hiding her withering stare. She wasn’t going to make it easy for them.

Once they were satisfied, the guard bowed. “My apologies, Princess.”

“Indeed.” She then clicked for her horse to continue and went no more than two steps before she heard the guard behind her ask for Link to please remain still for a search as well. Her stomach sank and she twisted around in her saddle before pulling her mount up sideways. Outwardly, she appeared to just be waiting for her Knight Attendant. Link appeared entirely unfazed, and why wouldn’t he? He didn’t know that she’d foolishly set him up to be punished.

Her eyes darted back and forth between the guards, then stared sharply at the one that took out a book. He turned it over and opened it to a random page in the middle before nodding to Link and placing it back in his bag. “Our apologies, Sir Link. Please enjoy the rest of your day.” They crossed an arm across their chest and nodded.

Link came to join her as she continued a few more steps before she stopped awkwardly. Her mind was racing. Did it get lost!? She gave a harried look at Link who returned it with a head tilt of curiosity. Did he find it and throw it out!? She couldn’t act on any of her agonizing questions!

“On second thought,” she called after the guards, “You may take the horses to the stables. Please have my things delivered and report to my father that I will be resting from today’s journey and will not be disturbed.” She dismounted, continuing out of the gatehouse on foot. Link followed suit.

As she went up the steps leading to the courtyard below her quarters, she was afraid to say anything with patrolling guards so near. She finally stomped up the stairs to her room in a frenzied state. That book was important! How was she going to find out about what happened to it without being seriously reprimanded from going against her father’s will?

She practically forgot Link was behind her and before she entered her room, he said in a hushed tone, “The next time you need me to hide something for you,” he pulled the book out from under his tunic behind his back, “it might be better that I’m actually involved.”

She looked down at it and her eyes widened before snapping back up to his smug face. It quickly turned into one of shock as she grabbed him by the front of his tunic and pulled him in. After riding the highest levels of stress, fear of discovery, and relief all in the span of a few minutes, she latched onto him in a tight hug without a second thought. “Thank Hylia, you have it! First I thought I was fine, then I thought I’d- and you would be punished for sure as well, and then I thought it was lost somehow-” she had pulled away at this point, “but how could it be? I hid it at the very bottom.”

Link watched her nervous rambling with a rather judgmental, yet amused expression.  

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

He held his hands up, book still in one, as if to accept defeat to a potential argument that hadn’t even started.

“I didn’t think that they would bother to search you.” She stopped herself as she noticed her old habit of deflecting fault was rearing its ugly head. She had vowed to be better since he saved her life in the desert and right now, that meant an apology was probably due.

She sighed, “I’m sorry, Link. I should have trusted you. I guess I just thought that you wouldn’t approve or... may have stopped me.”

“Have you met you?” he asked rhetorically as he handed the book over.

She copped his joke and pressed her lips together hard so she wouldn’t laugh on principle, but her belly bounced a little  in a silent chortle anyway. Once she regained her composure her brows knitted and she enquired, “But why didn’t you just tell me you knew before we got back? You could have-” her mouth gaped as she gasped in realization. “You were getting back at me for not telling you!?”

“I did think I was owed a tiny bit of payback for being an unknowing accomplice in smuggling your ancient contraband.”

“Well... I...” She became flustered in her defeat.

He hadn’t meant to actually make her feel bad so he smiled. “It’s ok. I’m on your side so just tell me next time you need help.”

He probably thought that was just a nice thing to say but his genuine declaration of support struck right to the base of her core. The oaths that they had taken at the beginning of this colossal mess had meant nothing to her back then, but through the eventual development of their friendship, she discovered that those ties now carried weight; and though she still felt useless for the coming trial, she respected their bond more than ever. And he did too. Urbosa and Impa were the only other people whom she felt truly knew her. Now she had another, and she felt blessed that he was always by her side.

Blinking away her hard stare at his words, she came back to herself and said, “Alright then. Since you’re now in on this, you can be my mule.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I’m Purah’s best translator so I’ll need you to feed any potential discoveries to Impa. If she’s away you can take them to Robbie. He’ll still be here for a while yet working on the Guardians.”

She continued nattering on, the way she did when she seemed to speak more to herself than to another person, while she sat down with the book at her desk and started to flip through the pages. “I’ll be starting right away. I’ve actually been dying to dive in. Did you want to stay until I get something ready or do you have things you need to do?”

When she looked back at him he had an unspoken expectation on his face which she proceeded to misread. “It’s quite alright if you have things to take care of, I’m sure I’ll be a while yet before I have- oh! You mean,” she smiled sheepishly and then cleared her throat. “Sorry. Sir Link, do you consent?”

The way she asked had him closing his eyes and shaking his head in amusement.

“No?”

“No- I mean, yes, Princess, you have my consent.” He bowed eloquently. “I’ll return later when you might have something for me.”

“Thank you.”  

He opened the door to leave and she added, “And thank you for...”

He stopped and looked back.

“For being on my side,” she finished.

He nodded and went.

She sat for a few moments looking at where he’d just been, a tingle running through all of her limbs in a wave, causing goosebumps.

~~~

There had been a few things of interest that she sent to Purah via Link’s underground network. Thankfully, she had kept many detailed notes about how to translate ancient Sheikah text. She always was a good note taker. Her very own research journal was an invaluable resource that she had justifiably not been made to give up. Her father must have either thought she couldn’t do much with it or didn’t want to go to such an extent to violate her personal belongings after he took the only thing that was bringing her any joy.

She was out at her study tower again, working on it at a time she was not likely to be disturbed- but even if she were, Link was on duty outside. She came across a passage on underground structures and thought she was finally on track to learning where the pillars were. If only they could be located, the research team would supposedly be able to harness many more Guardians, not just the ones that had been dug up. These ones were properly stored and ready for when the Calamity struck.

With her potential conclusion on the material of the passage being under such a bias, she kept getting stuck. The page wasn’t making sense as it stated the pillars were all over Hyrule; but she knew them to be under the castle.

She read on about something pertaining to activation of the network, or that everything was connected, or... something. Her eyes were getting tired and she felt a brain melt coming on. If only she had more points of reference. She pined after the Slate. In its absence, all she had left was the library and she couldn’t risk going there without being watched. She started to lean back in her chair and zone out at her wall in abject defeat when she noticed a doodle. It was a less detailed, but accurate copy of the tapestry in Impa’s office.

Just as she began to think she wouldn’t glean anything from a picture she’d looked at a thousand times, she noticed the pillars framing the castle. There were also a few of the same at the bottom, and one in each quadrant... all around Hyrule. But the others wouldn’t be the pillars. They look like towers.

She sat up straight and began to re-read the translation. If she thought of them as towers, and there was some sort of connection between them- but where were they? She’d practically been all over the kingdom and had never seen such a structure. Perhaps buried, like the pillars!

With newly invigorated passion, she stood and stretched, then crossed the small circular room to the door. Opening it part way, she saw Link standing at ease and then turning to regard her.

“Sir Link? I believe I am in dire need of a hot chocolate in order to continue performing at the best of my abilities. Could you please send for one?”

He smiled knowingly and dipped his head in kind before leaving to find an attendant or a less strictly positioned guard to pass on the request.

“Oh, and please get one for yourself! If you want to,” she added.

He waved behind him to acknowledge he’d heard.

She closed the door and looked over at the materials on her desk and the drawing of the tapestry. She felt there was something potentially big here. If so, she wanted so badly to find a way to tell Impa or Purah herself. She thought of the devotions she had looming in a few hours time. They were now most of her days and she felt more like a helpless failure than ever before. She couldn’t bear the thought of never being able to share in discoveries again. She would wait until she could see them somehow. At least then she would have some joy.

[kissjane]

MORNING AFTER / Short fic

#25 from this prompt list.

Wrapping arms around them when they make breakfast

Lucas wakes up to an empty bed and humming from the kitchen. He stretches contently, feeling slightly sore after last night. He had made the right choice yesterday night, when he decided to bring – Frédéric? Firmin? – either way, when he decided to bring home the guy he’d been grinding to on the dancefloor. He’d had some long overdue sex, and it sounds like – Florent? François? – either way, is cooking breakfast. Sunday mornings couldn’t start better.

Lucas quickly pulls on his boxers, and tiptoed to the kitchen, where he is greeted by the sight of a naked back, bare feet and a delectable ass in a pair of jeans.

He sneaks closer, and with a hum wraps his arms around the slender waist in front of him, resting his cheek against warm skin.

“Morning, tiger,” he purrs. He thinks they can eat something, and maybe go back to bed for a final farewell fuck.

Then – Fabrice? Fabien? – turns around, and – fuck.

Lucas lets go as if burned.

“You’re – you’re not – Fernand? Félicien? Franck? Oh, fuck,” he stammers.

The boy in front of him laughs.

“I’m not,” he confirms matter-of-factly. “I’m not one of your one-night-stands. But I’m impressed, though. Three at once? Wow.”

He raises a perfectly curved eyebrow, and Lucas’ cheeks burn a fiery red.

“Oh, fuck off,” he mumbles lamely. “Who are you? And where is… fuck.”

The guy laughs again.

“I woke up about thirty minutes ago and I ran into a guy in the hallway on my way to the bathroom. I didn’t ask for his name, but it could very well have been – what did you say it was again?”

Lucas glares.

“Seems like your tiger had other places to be.”

The mirth in the other’s voice gets Lucas’ hackles up. There’s really no shame in bringing a guy home and he is definitely not the first not to remember the name of his hook up in the morning.

“And the answer to my first question?”, he says, as coolly as he can muster.

“Eliott. I’m a friend of Idriss. He said I could crash here.”

Ah, yes. Lucas vaguely remembers his flatmate saying something about this before he left to spend the weekend with his family.

“And I guess you are Lucas,” Eliott continues.

Lucas nods. He doesn’t even want to know what Idriss told his friend about Lucas. He doubts Idriss has warned Eliott about one-night stands doing the walk of shame at seven in the morning – mostly because Lucas especially waited for Idriss to be out to bring somebody home. Being okay with a gay flatmate is fine in theory, but Lucas wasn’t about to test Idriss’ limits only six weeks after moving in. He was lucky enough that Imane suggested this place, after Mika had decided to go live with his boyfriend.

“Okay, so that’s all clear then. Want some breakfast, Lucas? You look like you need to replenish your strength,” he says, and has the audacity to add a wink.

“Oh, fuck off,” Lucas retorts lamely.

“What?”, Eliott inquires innocently. “You had a tiger in your bed all night, it’s only logical.”

An impervious glare is sent in his direction, but Eliott only chuckles as he stirs in the pan.

Lucas can’t help but let his eyes wander freely. He already knows the sexy skin presented to him is warm and smooth. Eliott is tall, but he keeps his shoulders hunched a bit, and Lucas wants to let his hand glide over them, scaling Eliott’s spine until his fingers reach the waistband of his jeans. Okay, fine – he doesn’t want to stop there, but he forces himself to stop drooling over Eliott’s ass.

“That’s twice you’ve brought that up now,” Lucas blurts out, annoyed by the whole situation – Félix? Filibert? sneaking out, this fucking hunk teasing him about it. “Do you have a problem with that, or what?”

Slowly, Eliott turns off the gas, and faces Lucas.

“I might,” he says, crossing his arms over his naked chest, staring Lucas down.

The hairs on the back of Lucas’ neck rise.

“Ah, you’re one of those guys,” he challenges. “Afraid of gays, are you? Think we will rape your ass first chance we get, do you? Well, newsflash, you can fuck straight off then. You may be Idriss’ friend, but he’s not here, and I don’t need homophobes in my kitchen.”

Eliott doesn’t move, and Lucas bristles.

“Well? What are you standing around for?”

“I’m debating what I should say. I mean, should I just say I’m hardly afraid of gays? In fact, I have slept with two or three before. I do think I can remember their names, though.”

Lucas’ mouth falls open.

“Or should I say you’re welcome to my ass any time you’d like? I’m afraid it would be a bit too forward, but maybe it’d get things resolved quite quickly. What do you think, Lucas?”

Lucas is unsure his brain is capable of thought. He splutters something incoherent. The grey eyes across from him seem to burn.

“Or should I say your fuck buddy is obviously either blind or criminally stupid to leave your bed?”

Eliott’s gaze slowly moves down over Lucas’ body, and he shivers under the intensity. When Eliott looks up again, Lucas’ cheeks burn and he feels feverish.

“Or should I just do what I want to do?”

A silence falls, and Lucas’ fried brain cannot keep up. Finally, he manages to get enough synapses firing to get his mouth moving.

“What is that?”

Eliott takes a step closer, but doesn’t answer, and Lucas, who has caught up enough to realize Eliott might be interested in him, does the same. One by one, they take a step, not breaking eye contact, until their toes almost touch. In the same split second, they drop their eyes to the other’s lips.

“What do you want to do, Eliott?”, Lucas mumbles. He is unsure Eliott can hear him, or if he lipreads the words, but he growls in response.

“Show you a fucking tiger. Right here.”

Lucas nods, as if his entire skeleton system has not just dissolved into a puddle of jelly, as if his lungs aren’t burning with fire, as if his dick has not just tightened painfully.

As if he can handle any of these things.

“Should I, Lucas?”, Eliott whispers, and his voice is molten lava, sultry and seductive, and it takes all of Lucas’ brainpower to nod.

Eliott’s lips come crashing down, and their kiss is electrifying, and soul-mending, and earth-shattering, and life-changing.

And then Eliott’s hands are all over Lucas, and Lucas cannot help the moan that escapes him, and Eliott laughs as he presses his lips on Lucas’ jaws, his nose, his chin, his eyelids.

He will definitely not forget Eliott’s name.

[sdv-lostatsea]

Tracks- SDV Sebastian

Uh well this is the first thing I’ve written in a while so I’m pretty rusty, but I liked how this turned out so I’m gonna throw it to the internet anyway. Of course it’s angsty as hell because what’s new with me.

Sebastian & Farmer/Reader: You meet him at the train tracks during an unforgiving night.

It was almost ridiculous how visible the stars were, but then again light pollution wasn't really a problem in Pelican Town. However, it was cold enough for your breath to be visible, small clouds obstructing the nearly flawless view above. 

You don't know why you agreed to come out here. The night made the cool air sink into your bones and it was going to be a long hike back to the farm. And yet here you were lying on your back with your head cradled by steel rods made to carry trains and not human heads full of overwhelming thoughts. 

To your right he takes a deep breath, face illuminated by the glow of the cigarette, then exhales. Smoke mixes with the cool air in a slow moving dance, extending it's fingers outward until the night swallows it inch by inch. Nothing remains but the smell. 

All of this you see from your periphery as you still have not looked over at him. Not fully. You know that at some point you will probably have to, drawn in by his voice as he asks what's up with you tonight. But he hasn't yet and he probably won't until he has discarded the cigarette. 

For now it is quiet. 

Through the hood of your winter jacket you can feel the hard metal and resist the urge to shift into a new position. String in the pocket of your jacket keeps your fingers occupied and you long for this moment to be over, to be able to go home and crawl into bed and rethink every little encounter you've had with him until your mind shuts down. But you're stuck here with him in a silence that you wish wasn't so damn awkward because they never used to be. Silence had always been welcome, it showed trust. Now though, now it was twitchy movements and spiralling thoughts and-

"Stop thinking so loud."

It's the first thing he's said since you laid down beside him. You shut your eyes tightly and try to overcome the embarrassment that has heated your face. After a moment of internal debate, you turn your head slightly so that his face is mostly in view. He's not done with his cigarette.

He's not looking at you, eyes focused on the moon as he lazily takes a drag. If you hadn't known him for almost a year now you would think he looked almost serene, but there were emotions roiling under the surface of his resting face. He flicks the ashes off to his right, away from you, and then takes one last drag before discarding it. 

Now comes the moment you've dreaded.

He turns to face you, fully shifting to lay on his side. He uses an arm to cushion his head from the steel and he huffs slightly in attempt to move the fringe from his face. And then silence settles again. 

You want to look away but his dark eyes bore into yours, a steady gaze that holds you captive. If it wasn't so cold out you're sure you'd be sweating but instead you're trying to transfer some of the numbness of your fingers to your emotions. If you couldn't feel the sting maybe it would all just go away and you could walk home with blissful apathy and a mostly intact friendship.

"What's wrong?" 

You're not even sure he spoke but the question lingers in the frozen air between you. 

You're about to sputter out an undeniably horrible excuse when the truth rushes forward in the worst form of bile you've ever tasted. 

"I saw you and Sam earlier." 

His eyes only widen a fraction before returning to normal and he looks at you with a gaze more scalding than you've ever seen on him. He's defensive, you realize.

"I-it's not… it's that…"

A lump forms in your throat and you struggle to breathe in the cold air for a while. He won't stop staring at you.

The few minutes it takes for you to compose yourself are deafening and it's like he's solidified into all the fears you had going into tonight.

"I just thought… I hoped it could be me." Your voice is meek and shaky but his face softens a touch. The hard facade melts into a soft frown and worrying eyes. 

"(Y/n)..."

"It's fine Sebastian." You turn away as pity starts to form in his eyes, yours burning with the threat of tears.

He sits up, movements sluggish, and he reaches into his pockets for another cigarette. He puts the stick between his lips and fumbles with the lighter, clicking it once, twice, and a third time with no success before muttering sharply under his breath and putting it away. The cigarette dangles from his lips while his hands remain in his pockets. He won't look at you. 

You knew this was a bad idea but some part of you was hoping you had misinterpreted the scene, that maybe Sam had laid his hand sweetly on Sebastian's cheek after the kiss as some platonic gesture of gratitude. But you weren't that naive. It didn't take more than a glance to see the emotion in Sam's eyes or the burning of Sebastian's ears. 

And you will him to look at you, to say something, anything. He doesn’t. Instead he pulls a hand out of his pocket, fingers trembling, as he takes the cigarette from his mouth. He doesn’t put it away, choosing to hold it tightly between his thumb and forefinger. His face is turned away from you and you wrap your arms around your chest to try and retain any semblance of warmth. 

“I don’t know what to say.” His voice is quiet, strained. 

“I don’t know what I want to hear.”

He shakes his head gently, as if the notion is absurd. 

“I know what I would want to hear if I were you… but I can’t say it. It wouldn’t be the truth.”

You knew, had known since you walked away from where Sam and Sebastian had been in the back of the saloon, that he wasn’t going to love you back, but hearing him voice it feels like cracks in already thin ice. The cold air hurts your lungs but you try to focus on pulling air in, visualize the tissue there freezing outward in the pattern of snowflakes until your whole body becomes like one of Robin’s ice sculptures. At least then Sebastian might look at you. 

Through the hood of your jacket you can feel the hum of the rails. For a moment you close your eyes and will everything to disappear, but then the vibrations grow stronger and you force yourself up. You stand, forcing your gaze to him as he rises as well. He doesn’t look at you and you take this as your cue to leave. 

You make it a few steps before he calls out to you. When you stop you don’t look at him, but you can hear his footsteps crunch in the light frost. 

Finally you’re looking at each other again. His eyes are solemn, jaw clenched, looking like he wishes he had all the answers to every question he’s ever asked because maybe then he could resolve this. But that’s the funny thing about the situation: there is nothing to resolve. There’s no conflict, no issue, no pent up anger to dissipate. Just the splintering of a dream you had clung to at night. And while it hurts, there is nothing to apologize for. 

You want to tell him this but he opens his mouth first. 

Whatever he was going to say is drowned out by the sound of the train’s horn as it comes howling down the track. A strong gust of wind accompanies the noise and you have to focus on not losing your balance. His hair whips around wildly but his gaze is steady, never leaving yours. It’s so cold and windy and the night has been an exceptional disaster, but for a moment there is no one here but you and Sebastian, eyes locked as if letting go means losing every last trace of your fragile friendship. And, as the train carries past on squealing wheels and rattling cars, you can feel your heart beating in your throat, a rhythm so steady for the most disquieting night you’ve had since moving to the valley. 

It’s over too soon. The train continues onward and your moment ends.

He’s still looking at you but the atmosphere isn’t the same. What could have been mended is lost, sinking below a sheet of ice into a frozen lake. You could try to resurface it but it would be changed, maybe even unrecognizable. And you know that whatever emotions he’s feeling are too destructive to heal you right now. 

So you say goodbye. Not with words since the time for talk has long passed. Instead you take a step forward and place a kiss on his cheek, but rather than waiting to see his expression as you would have just yesterday, you turn on your heel without so much as a glance his way.

Maybe with time the waters will thaw and you will be able to go back to late night track talks, but for now you just want to curl up in bed and sleep the rest of the abysmal night away.

[of-another-broken-heart]

Today has been hard. And a lot.

I took some tylenol last night to help with cramps. It worked so well, I forgot why I’d taken them by the time I was actually trying to get to bed. I couldn’t remember when, exactly, either, so I didn’t risk taking more to safeguard my attempt to sleep.

It took a lot to get to sleep. I had dreams. I was on vacation again (recurring theme) with family (recurring theme) and all the fun/relaxation was offset by people making things dramatic and stressful. I had my car with me. It was not operating reliably (another recurring theme in my dreams). I don’t think I dreamed specifically of Alex. Doesn’t matter too much, since it takes all of 0.02 seconds for me to think of him once I wake up. And I was waking up every 1-2 hours. 

I stayed in bed all the way until I needed to drive sister to work. Not sleeping much. Just... unable to get up. Too tired. Too exhausted. Too sad. Too purposeless. 

I decided to spend some of a gift card I got for xmas. After I dropped sister off, I resolved to buy myself a meal from McDonald’s. I was planning to get a burger that came with lettuce and onion and maybe tomato. I did not end up doing that, though. I saw they had a spicy crispy chicken sandwich meal, and it was only $6. So I did that instead. It was not very crispy. The spice was good. It took me nearly a full half hour to eat. I thought I had a tooth brush in my purse, but I couldn’t find it. I had some emergency travel picks, and I used one of those, but there were still some places in my fucked up teeth that held on to some food bits that I just had to deal with until I got home. 

But I didn’t go straight home. I put in my refill for my levo yesterday, so I figured I’d pick that up. And my gas tank was dipping below the 1/4 mark, so I figured I should put the last of my cash in it. 

The pharmacy was a small little hell. A lady walked in right before me, but didn’t take any undue time or act obnoxious. An older man came in after me - and jumped to the front of the line, because I was following the 6-foot distance guidelines and I guess he was too good to do the same. He flagged down no fewer than 3 of the employees to help him at the same time, asking for prescription refills (that he hadn’t requested in advance), chatting up the actual pharmacist, and then wandering around bragging about buying out certain supplies off the shelves for his/his wife’s diabetes.  While all that was going on, another guy walked in, and stood so close to me that his phone was next to my head when he held it up to look at it. Even in pre-pandemic times, that’s too fucking close. I moved away. He immediately closed the gap. I moved away again, to the counter this time, sputtering out “Six feet, please, sir!” and while he didn’t have anything to say back, he at least stayed put at that point.  The cashier was still half tied up with the demanding diabetes guy, but he asked who was next (it was me, and Mr. No Personal Space indicated as much, too) so I was able to ask for my meds and start getting out coins to pay the dollar it’d cost. I’m almost out of change. I mostly just have pennies left now. Dropped two quarters, four dimes, and ten pennies to cover my expense - set them in separate stacks on the counter to make it easier on the cashier, who verbally thanked me for the consideration before I made my way out of there and to the gas station. 

Gas is $3 per gallon here, now. I did not know that. It was $2.60 last time I bought any - not even 2 months ago. I put the last $20 of cash I had in Jenny. Not even 7 gallons. Getting out of that parking lot was annoying. I waited my turn, I waited... the person who had the right-of-way just didn’t go. Just plain did not go. Sat on their phone blocking me and 1 other person because she was supposed to go, and if either of us went, then she went, it’d be a big problem. Then when she finally moved (after the light had changed and there wasn’t any more room left) I had to go across the street into a different parking lot just to get out of the way of the people in the gas station parking lot, and then turn around, and then there still wasn’t room for me to pull out of the fucking parking lot because a goddamn pick-up truck rolled up while I was turning around, taking the spot in the road that I could have slipped into. But at least no one else came after that, and when the light finally changed again, I just got to cruise out and get back home without any further headaches. 

The whole time in the car, I felt like I was playing Russian roulette with the radio. From eating lunch to pulling back in the drive way after getting gas - will this song reduce me to an inoperable sobbing mess? How about this one? This one??? I have to drive with the radio off most of the time now. Because that’s how fucked up and raw I am now. 

I got home and checked my emails. Birthday is in a few days, and I get more well-wishes and gifts from corporate programming than I do from people I know. I got a message from Torrid. $10 to spend. I didn’t have very high hopes, but I spent a while clicking through the online clearance listings. I was pleasantly surprised to find a few things I did actually like, and could use, and which would (individually) be nearly free with the $10 birthday spending.  The first was a simple sport bra with a strappy back. I like those. They’re practical, and most of the ones I have are old and not fashionable at all. That one was only available in a single small size, though.  Next I found a pair of boots. I already have a pair of boots, but I like boots. And these were marked down to like, $12 and their original price was over $70? Bonkers good deal. And they were wide calf by default, because Torrid, so hell yeah? There was the option for extra wide, but that seemed like they’d be too big on me (given that standard wide calf fit me pretty perfectly with my existing pair of boots). They were in stock in my size, so I put them in the cart.  Then I found another sport bra. Originally $50, down to $11-something. It was only available in a 3... which might be a size too big for me, or it might be perfect. It was a zip-front black bra with little white stars on it. I put it in my cart, too.  I planned to pick one and remove the other. I had a little money in my Paypal to cover the difference, but I can’t spend a lot. But it was a really good deal... two items that originally totaled like $125, subtotaled to less than a fifth of that. And a ten dollar credit to apply on top, so it was only $13 or so that was left to cover?  $13 for a pair of boots and a new sport bra??  It has to get delivered to the store one town over (or it would have cost an extra $6 and taken longer) but I placed the order.  Happy Birthday to me, from Torrid (and the people whose donations I still had some leftover from. 

My teeth are bothering me so much. I want them fixed. I can’t make the calls. 

I need a new doctor, I need to be taken seriously, I need so much help. And I can’t make the calls. 

The precious few people who were slap-shod forming a support net for me, have mostly dispersed. I’m drowning again, and the promised life raft isn’t even coming any more. The boat that was supposed to be a sanctuary has dropped anchor somewhere far away and is not an option, any more. Not really. 

I just want to talk to and be with Alex. And I can’t.  I can’t. It’s one-sided. I’m wrong. It never should have happened, and I’m paying the price. I was never supposed to be happy. It was a fluke. I have to pay for it, now.

[thewritingginger]

A-Z Fluff Alphabet - Leviathan

Thank you Anon for your request, I hope its ok and met with what you wanted

Enjoy ~

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A ctivities - what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

- Obviously being a video game and anime lover he would want to share his passion and interests with his s/o

- Anime marathons

- Late nights of gaming and junk food

- Enjoys going to anime conventions with you (something that the two of you can bond over)

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

- Levi thinks your hair is the most beautiful part of you, the color complements your skin perfectly, the texture and the softness is something he could never get over. Loves the smell of your shampoo! (Has been one to sneak a sniff or two lol)

- He admires your consistency, Levi doesn't really care for change, mostly your consistency of being there for him and just being yourself is what makes really makes him fanboy over you uwu lol

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

- Poor boy doesn't know what to do when you cry

- Will offer to play games or any activity you like to do (even if he doesn't like it) to make you get your mind off whatever has you in destress

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

- I don’t think Levi ever really wanted kids or ever seriously thought about it to be honest

- He thought he would spend all his days with his waifu

- But you opened his eyes to  favor the 3D world more and although he still is kinda iffy about kids, later in your relationship he starts to become fond of the idea of you and him have a child

- Just a family of the three of you and henry

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

- It’s pretty equal in you relationship

- But Levi can be quite childish at times making you have to take charge

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

- Can you say stubborn

- Doesn't like admitting he’s wrong

- Pouty boy for sure

- But if he really hurt you then he’ll try and make it up to you by getting your favorite snack and cuddle with you (kinda like a white flag)

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

- I don't think Levi realizes how much you bring to him till one night you two got into a (admittedly petty) argument that he might have taken a bit far and you gave him the silent treatment. All was good for the first few hours but once it trickled to the night,  you were getting ready for bed, went to your room, and locked the door so he couldn't get in. He texted you and you left it on read.

For the rest of the night Levi stayed up wondering, “Will they ever talk to me again?” “Are they going to break up with me?” “They’re my normie, what do I do now?”

After that night that seemed to drag on for an millenia came to an end. He ran down to the dinning table to see you eat breakfast and damn near fell to his knees before he stopped, “Y/n… I’m sorry for yesterday!... Will you … please forgive me?”

You obviously accepted, not only because you missed talking to him but, the way he is apologizing and practically begging you made you realize how much Levi really did love you. Levi had always had an issue apologizing, not because he doesn’t think he can be wrong but because it would be him having to put his pride down and admit that he was.

When you accepted Levi felt a weight come off his shoulders, and will remember this feeling of emptiness without you.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide form their s/o? Or do they share everything?

- Levi can't really lie to you, might not admit somethings right away in fear of embarrassment

I nspired - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

- You kinda showed Levi that he doesn’t need to be insecure in your relationship and that jealousy, although difficult for him to overcome sometimes, isn’t necessary because he is everything you need and he doesn’t have to be the ‘perfect’ guy to be perfect to you.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

- He is the avatar of Envy

- Asking if Levi gets jealous is like wondering if a pen will hit the ground once you drop it

- He’s more of a grumpy boy than an aggressor

- Will be annoyed and might even give you cold shoulder for a little, but that never lasts for too long

- Way to resolve it? Cuddles and telling him he’s the only one you want and that the rest are all normies to you

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

- First kiss was fine but a bit nerve wracking and awkward, I mean levi doesn't go out kissing normies everyday

- Levi is a decent kiss once he gets used to touching you, it’s just those first few handfuls that were a bit clumsy and coy

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

- In true Tsundere fashion he just kinda blurts it out like you made him say it and is upset about it

- He is a little blushy boy, talk about #TomatoStatus

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

- The only person he wanted in his life was his beloved Ruri-chan

- But then you came around and realized that a normie like you wasn't too bad and that you slowly began to not just be a normie at all but quite the opposite (was that too cheesy, eh heck it this is a fluff HC)

- Levi never thought of marriage before, but one day it kinda hit him that he wouldn’t want a life without you in it.

- Asking you to marry him was, like most emotional things with him, a bit jumbled and a lot of blushing.  

- Your marriage with Levi is goofy and anime filled, had some obvious bumps in the road with a few run ins with bouts of jealousy and petty fights, but you’re both working on finding a middle that works for you two.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

- Nicknames he calls you: Y/n, | Y/n-chan, | (i don't see him using a lot of nicknames) Maybe Princess/Prince (When being really loving) |

- Nicknames you call him: Levi, | Lev, | Lord of Shadows (jokingly), | Baby, |

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

- Pretty obvious to others

- He is more generous (as generous as levi can be) to you than anyone else

- Gets blushy and denies it when his brothers call him out for it  

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o on front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

- A very flustered boy if you randomly kiss him in public

- Hand holding is fine but he would prefer if you kept the kissing to a minimal/ on the cheek when around others

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship?

- A random skill that Leviathan possesses that is beneficial to your relationship is his inventiveness. This shows when he’s making his cosplays and he has to make or improvise a piece of his costume or when you two spend a day in for a date or little dates in general.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

- Levi is more awkward than anything

- If he tries to be romantic it never works out really, gets flustered and stumbles

- So he doesn't try to be romantic just tries to make you happy and feel special

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

- Levi tries to support you like you do for him.

- Although it can be tricky for him cause its sorta a new thing for him still

- But will root for you the best he can :3

T hrill - Do they need to try new things to spice out their relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

- Levi really prefers a routine

- Might try new things but would have to think about it and have a couple conversations about it.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

- Levi tries his best to be empathetic to your feelings

- it was kinda a learning curve for him to how to treat and work with you in your relationship vs the one with his brothers

- But over time you both were able to cultivate communication that works well, most of the time

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it that's worth in comparison to other things in their life?

- In all honesty Levi never thought he would really be in a relationship, whether it was another demon or a normie like you.

- But once you got to talking about all the anime and manga you’ve enjoyed in the human world, and the late nights playing games and going out to karaoke he began to really bond with you and realizing that you aren't just another normie

- A comparison would be to say that you and Henry are on the same level of importance (maybe even a little more but he would never tell Henry that)

W ild Card - A random. Fluff Headcanon.

- Levi and you took a trip to the human world to attend a much anticipated anime convention.

And in true convention fashion you and Levi obviously cosplayed, and Levi went as the Lord of Shadows for his favorite series TSL and you partnered him dressed as a young maiden.

The whole day was filled with pictures and visiting all the different booths. As the hours went on the space in your arms got taken up with anime paraphernalia.

As the end of the day rolls around you and Levi stop by a little cafe to rest and get some food and don’t forget the bubble tea

When you get home you unpack and open all the goodies you two collected over the day and display them nicely in the room.

After you are all undone and ready for bed you spend the time before sleep takes over your body, tangled in each other reminiscing on the day.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

- Yes, but usually only in private settings

- Likes to lay with you and watch anime together

- Loves when you comb your fingers through his hair &/or give him scalp massages

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

- Not always well, but having Henry helps when the loneliness sets in a little

- Messages you all the time

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

- You are something special to Levi, someone he never thought he would find

- He doesn’t want to lose you anytime soon, but if you wished to part ways he wouldn’t try to convince you otherwise. Not because he wouldn’t want you to stay with him but because he wouldn’t want to feel like a burden to you and make you stay if you don’t want to.

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Woah, hold up! 

Is... is this a post??? Is this blog still active??? 

Yes! Just don’t get too comfortable 🤪🙃

I really rode the struggle bus on this one babes 😅

But as you probably noticed I’ve been ... inactive, that doesn’t even describe it lol

I’ve been in a huge bout of writers block cause of this quarantine as I’m sure it has for many others.

But I hope you all are staying safe and that you enjoyed this :3

💛~

[myhockeyworld87]

Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 26

Word Count: 4,300

POV: Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Smut, Language

Notes: Here’s the next installment of NR. Hope you guys enjoy! Happy Reading!

Nervous Regrets Masterlist

The days following Christmas were like a complete blur. Tyler’s family only stayed for a couple extra days, as he was off on another road trip. Thankfully, it was just overnight. It wasn’t until he got home the next day that he decided to spring his New Year’s Eve plans on you.

“Hey babe, the boys were all wondering if we were still going to have the New Year’s Eve party this year. I told them I didn’t see why not. We can throw something together by then, don’t you think?”

“And by ‘we’, I’m sure you meant that I’m going to be able to pull this off.” Back when you first met Tyler, his parties were pretty legendary, but they mostly consisted of booze, booze, and more booze. Well, to be fair there may have been a frozen pizza or two thrown in. Being with you changed all that. The parties were less frequent, and when they did happen you always made sure there was something more than alcohol available.

“Awe come on, I wouldn’t let you do this all yourself.” He drew your body close to his and started to rain little kisses on your face and neck. “I’ll call the maid and have her come over and clean everything. Oh and I’ll also pick up all the beverages. All you’d have to do is order some food and we’d be good.”

“And get party hats, and noisemakers, and champagne.” He nibbled on the sweet spot on your neck and your knees went weak, along with your resolve. “But…I suppose that’s not too much to do.”

He full-on kissed your lips then, lingering there for a moment. “Baby, have I told you you’re the best and that I love you.”

“Mmmm…not in the last few hours.”

“Then maybe I should make up for that.” He started to kiss you again but pulled back quickly. “Oh! Did you call the doctor and ask about Cabo?” Tyler always booked a vacation once the schedule was released and he knew when his bye week was. Unfortunately, he’d booked the vacation when you were apart and before he knew you were pregnant. The vacation had got pushed on the back burner, with the new house, then it was Christmas and here you were approaching the new year, and you two still hadn’t made a decision about whether or not you were going. “It’s not a big deal if you can’t fly. We can just stay here and relax, maybe actually book a room at the Omni and have our babymoon there.”

You loved when he called his bye week a babymoon for the two of you. From day one, Tyler had taken to reading all the information for new dads that he could get his hands on, that he paid extra attention to these parts warmed your heart. “I spoke to the doctor yesterday about it, and while they don’t recommend flying after thirty-four weeks, he said since I would only be at thirty-three weeks then, and that we were only going to be on the flight for about two and half hours, he saw no problem. As long as I walk around during the flight to prevent swelling, and see him as soon as I get home. So we’re cleared for take-off.”

“Are you sure it’s ok? I mean I don’t want anything to happen to you or the baby over some vacation.”

“The doctor said everything about my pregnancy has been normal, so there’s no need to worry. Let’s just go and have fun. Though I’m not putting a bathing suit on.” Once the doctor cleared you, it was the only thing that you could think of. Everyone else that would be there, would be in skimpy bathing suits splashing around in the pool, while you sat there looking like a beached whale.

“Oh stop it! It’s our friends for godsakes; you know they don’t care. Besides, I think you’d be totally sexy in a bikini with this little one showing.” He touched your baby bump, while you rolled your eyes at him. Tyler continued to say that you were the sexiest thing alive to him, even though you didn’t feel remotely close to that.

“I know no one would really care, but I don’t even have a suit.”

“What do you mean? Can’t you just wear one of your old ones?” Your eyebrows furrowed together, to give him a look that said are you serious.

“Ty, have you not noticed that I don’t fit in most of my old clothes at the moment?”

“Fine, then order some. We’re not going on our babymoon for you to sit inside all day.” When you didn’t answer, he headed down the hall saying, “If you’re not ordering them, then I will.” Of course, you followed him into the office, where he sat down at the desk and googled ‘swimsuits for pregnant women.’ He clicked on the first site that popped up. There wasn’t a huge variety on the site, but there was one that you thought would be doable, but before you could say anything he clicked the back button. “Nope, those all suck.”

“That black one was cute.”

He scrunched up his face before answering you. “What that one piece?” When you nodded agreement, he added. “Hell no, that one covered up way too much. I want to see both my babies laying by the beach when we go.”

He went through two more sites before he finally found one to his liking. It was a two-piece suit of course, with low cut bikini bottoms so that it wouldn’t restrict your belly and a low cut top that would be somewhat scandalous with the size of your breasts at the moment.  “I don’t know about that one Ty. It’s showing a lot.”

“Nonsense, it’s perfect.” He clicked on your size and placed it in the basket, then went back to look at some others. Before you could protest, he said, “We’re going to be there for almost a week, you need more than one suit.”

“Fine, but can one somewhat cover me up?”

“Only if you promise not to wear it the whole time.” Sometimes he knew you better than you knew yourself, with another roll of your eyes you agreed. Spending the next hour, the two of you playfully argued over suitable swimwear for your upcoming vacation.

Over the next few days, you planned out the New Year’s Eve party. It was too late to get the party catered, which was fine as you weren’t planning on serving a meal or anything; you really just needed finger foods that people could pick up. After a few trips, you had everything you needed to make the party a success. The tricky part of this whole plan was the fact that the Stars played on New Year’s Eve. You debated about not going to the game, to make sure everything was ready for the party, but Tyler had practically begged you to go; so there you were watching the Stars game go into overtime and wondering how you were going to get all the hors d’oeuvres ready before people started coming. Tyler, of course, insisted that you go down and meet him after the game, so you could ride home together.

Jenna noticed you checking your watch for the third time before overtime even started. “Stop worrying. I’ll help you get everything ready once we get there. Besides most people will be coming after the game anyhow.”

“I know you’re right. I guess I just want everything perfect.” She gave you a look, the one that said your best friend knows you way too well. “I know, me and my anal retentiveness.”

“Exactly.” Unfortunately, the Stars lost shortly into the three-on-three period. But as luck would have it everyone cut their interviews short, so that in no time you and Tyler were back at the house, right as Jamie and Jenna followed behind you.

True to her word, your best friend pitched in, helping you get all the food out. Players, significant others and friends started arriving right away. Tyler and Jamie handled getting everyone drinks. You’d convinced Tyler that he should give up his no drinking rule while you were pregnant for one night. Part of you thought you may regret this, but about an hour into the party; he was still nursing the same beer. “Babe, it’s almost midnight. Will you get out of this kitchen and come ring in the New Year with me.”

“Really, is it that soon already?” You looked at the clock and noticed it was eleven-thirty. “I’m sorry Ty. I guess the time just got away from me.” Going up on your toes, you kissed him giving him a quick apology.

“It’s no problem babe. Let’s just grab some champagne and join in the fun.” He opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle from way in the back.

“Ty, I know I told you to drink tonight, but I’m still pregnant, and still not drinking.” A small chuckle escaped your lips.

“Don’t worry, I got us covered. This is non-alcoholic.” He grabbed two champagne glasses from the cupboard instead of the stack you had over on the island, probably out of habit more than anything else. Placing your New Year’s tiara on your head, he took your hand and led you into the throng of people milling about your house. Most of your friends were there, so you stopped, hugging each of them and promising to catch up after the ball dropped. Tyler found a relatively quiet spot, over by the sliding glass doors in the living room with ten minutes left. It was an excellent spot, as you could see Jamie and Jenna huddled together in the archway leading to the entrance, seemingly oblivious to everyone else around them. Most of the couples were in the living room as it seemed the game room had been taken over by beer pong and other drinking games.

Tyler popped open the bottle of champagne, while you held the glasses for him to pour. You handed him his glass and he raised it for a private toast. “Here’s to all the ups and downs from this past year, and to making twenty-nineteen our year. A year of love, laughter and new beginnings.” Clinking your glasses together, you took a sip of the bubbly concoction before Tyler’s lips touched yours in a passionate kiss. Noisemakers had the two of you breaking apart, as people started to anticipate the countdown. Tyler twisted you so that you were locked within his embrace; your back firmly pressed against his chest. Ryan Seacrest appeared on screen, surrounded by a bunch of celebrities who obviously performed earlier, though you saw none of them. Tyler’s head bent low to your ear. “I love you (Y/N).” The countdown started, everyone in the house joining in. “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one; Happy New Year!!!” His lips found yours instantly, turning you back around to face him. The room faded away, as your tongues entwined, each of you simply pouring love into the other.

When you broke apart, you were both breathless. “I love you, Tyler Seguin.”

“I love you more.” You just shook your head lightly at him, for it couldn’t be possible for him to feel more for you than you did him. He was your heart, your life, and your world; and you were so excited for this new year to start by his side.

“Happy New Year, brother!” Jamie said clapping Tyler on the back. The two of you breaking apart so you could hug your best friends respectively.

You clinked your glass with Jenna’s after the hug, whispering, “Here’s to this year being the best one for both of us.” The next thing you knew, you were being pulled away from Tyler by other friends. His teammates took him in the opposite direction, convincing him to play a game of beer pong. For the next hour, you mingled with everyone, chatting about everything and anything. You had just finished up, showing some of your friends the progress of the nursey, when you felt Cash rub up against your leg. You bent down to pet the pup, and that’s when you noticed how bad your back was killing you.

Walking out of the nursery, you headed down the hall to one of the spare bedrooms; Cash following close behind. Luckily, it was empty. It couldn’t hurt to just lay down and prop your feet up for a few minutes, could it? Sitting down on the bed, you slid your heels off and noticed how swollen your feet and ankles actually were. You’d never get the shoes back on, but then it didn’t really matter as you were in your own home. As you lay back against the pillows you could feel the pain in your back start to melt away. Cash jumped up beside you before you could grab the throw blanket at the foot of the bed. He laid his head between your breast and your belly with a low satisfied growl. “I know bud, it’s been a long day.” You told him stroking his fur. His eyes slowly closed, as did yours.

“(Y/N), babe…babe…” Tyler was gently shaking you. You blinked your eyes trying to get your brain to work. “Babe are you ok?”

“Hmm…” Why wouldn’t you be ok? “Yeah, I’m fine.” You finally were able to mumble out. Taking in your surrounding you noticed you were in the guest room, though in your sleep haze you couldn’t remember why. Then it hit you. You’d stopped for just a minute to rest during the party. You sat straight up, almost knocking Tyler in the head if his reaction skills hadn’t been on point. “Oh my god, I must have fallen asleep.”

“I’ve been looking for you, for the last half hour. Why are you up here?”

“I was showing a couple people the nursery and just needed to sit for like five minutes, that’s it. My back and feet were killing me. The last thing I remember I was petting Cash, I just thought if I’d close my eyes for a few minutes.” How the hell, had you fallen asleep in the middle of the party. “Oh no the party…” You moved to get up, but Tyler stopped you.

“Is fine. A lot of people left, that’s when I noticed you were missing, but it took me a while to find you up here.”

“Well, we should go back down.” There were things that needed to be done, and the cleanup…ugh. Tyler stopped you short yet again, as you swung your legs to the side of the bed. At least now maybe you could get your shoes back on.

“The only way we’re going downstairs is so that you can go to bed. I’m sorry. I should’ve thought more about you and the baby when I decided to have this thing.”

His hands were rubbing your arms up and down, the motion so soothing and relaxing. “Ty, you didn’t decide to have the party; ‘we’ did.” You put emphasis on the word ‘we.’ “And as for the baby and I, we’re doing fine. I was just a bit tired, now that I’m rested; I’m ready to go again.”

You were feeling a bit more yourself after your nap, but it wouldn’t take much too just head to bed either. “Sorry babe, the party is over for you. The only place you’re going is to bed.” He went and scooped you up in his arms then, and started making his way to the door.

“Ty, stop! I can walk downstairs.”

“I know, but I also know you, and you’ll start cleaning up the minute your feet hit the floor.” It was true, there were still people in your house and probably drinks all over the place; it was a mess you didn’t want to wake up to in the morning. He must have noticed your hesitation to argue his point, for he continued. “See even you know I’m right.”

Sighing heavily, you leaned your head back against his shoulder, as your arms looped around him. “Well…maybe you’re partially right.”

His deep chuckle vibrated through your body as he held you. “It kills you to admit I’m right; doesn’t it?”

“Maybe.”

He kissed your forehead, as he walked the two of you out the guest bedroom door. “God woman you’re so stubborn. It’s a good thing I love you.” A yawn escaped your mouth before you could answer him. “See you are tired, babe. We’re taking you to bed, and I’ll get the rest of these drunks to head home.”

“But what about the mess?”

“It’s not that bad, Jamie and Jenna cleaned up most of it before leaving. The rest we’ll get in the morning.” As he carefully took the stairs with you in his arms, it was definitely much quieter than when you had laid down originally. His final foot hit the landing and he headed straight for your bedroom. He moved quickly but it did give you a chance to see that your house wasn’t as messy as you’d first thought. You made a mental note to call Jenna and thank her and Jamie for cleaning up. Gently laying you down on the mattress, he said, “I think some of the guys were gonna crash here if that’s ok?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I don’t think anyone should be drinking and driving.”

“Ok, let me go take care of a few things and then I’ll be back to cuddle with you.” You smiled up at him, for having his arms wrapped around you, was one of the best feelings in the world. As soon as the door closed, you moved into the bathroom to get ready for bed, wiping away all the makeup you had on and brushing your teeth. Baby Seguin decided to give you a particularly hard kick at the moment, letting you know they were awake; while at the same time waking you up from the sleep fog, you’d been in. Shifting your hips from side to side, you shimmied out or your leggings then removed the rest of your clothing. Now that you were fully awake, you thought that you and Tyler could really ring in the New Year, and so you decided to leave the lace bra and panties on as you headed back to bed.

Taking the throw pillows off the bed, you turned down the comforter; which is when Tyler came into the room. He took in the black lace on your body and his jaw went slack. He knew that if you were truly that sleepy, you’d already be in an oversized nightshirt. “I thought you were tired?”

“Mmmm…I was.” With a shrug of your shoulders, you added, “but not so much anymore.” You crawled up on the bed, trying to be seductive, but not sure if it was working at all. When he whipped his shirt off, you knew you had him.

“Get over here.” He practically growled as his hands went to undo the buttons on his jeans. As soon as you got close enough, he grabbed your waist and pulled you to him, molding his lips to yours. There wasn’t even a question, as you opened your mouth for him. He moaned into you, making you weak; his strong arms pressing you close to his body, as they roamed up your back. He tasted faintly of alcohol, as you drank him in. You felt the clasp of your bra pop, and Tyler slid the straps down your shoulders. He released you then if only to rid you of the garment; his mouth worrying its way down from your neck to your breast. He sucked a taut nipple into this mouth, swirling his tongue around it and pleasure coursed through your body. You couldn’t help the moan that came out of your mouth when he repeated the gesture. Your hands threaded through his hair urging him on. “You like that baby?” He whispered before tormenting your other breast.

“Mmmm…yes.” It was all you could muster out.

“You’re tits are so fucking sensitive. I love it.” He sucked hard, then gently bit down. “I feel like I could make you cum just by sucking on them.” Heat pulled in your core at his words, and you felt your legs start to tremble. “You’d like that wouldn’t you babe. Lay back.” You did as he requested, his body following yours down. He immediately latched back on, and your pussy grew wet from the contact; while his thumb and index finger tweaked your other nipple. You were panting with need, as you realized he was right; you may, in fact, cum without him even touching your cunt.

Though that’s not what you wanted right now. You craved his cock inside you. “Ty…” you said breathlessly. “I need you…”

“Tell me what you want baby girl.”

“I want you…” His tongue flicked over your nipple and you felt yourself growing closer to climax. “Your cock.”

“You sure baby?”

“Fuck…Ty…stop teasing me.” You were begging him at this point but it didn’t matter.

He kissed you hard on the mouth. “Shhh…I’ll give you want you need babe.” He stripped off his boxer briefs, then quickly discard you of your panties. Cock in hand, he stroked it once before positioning it at your entrance. He leaned down capturing your lips as in one thrust he bottomed out in you. Your back arched up instinctively taking him deeper inside, and he groaned into your mouth, before breaking apart to hiss out, “Fuck babe…you feel so good.”

Wrapping your legs around him, you urged him to move inside you. Tyler, of course, obliged you, pumping in and out of you as he built up a steady rhythm. Your orgasm was skating on the edge from his foreplay and you knew it wouldn’t be long before you were falling off the edge. Legs trembling, Tyler picked up the pace; his balls hitting you with each thrust. Moans and sounds of sex filled the air. “I love you.” You moaned out as you felt your pussy walls start to contract.

“I love you too.” You kissed him passionately as waves of pleasure took over your body. Tyler’s climax followed yours, as you felt him pump one last time into you, spilling his seed. When you both finally came back to earth, Tyler collapsed beside you, drawing you close. “That was one hell of a Happy New Year.”

“Absolutely,” you giggled back at him. “I have a feeling it’s going to be a very good year if that was any indication.

He twisted your body so that you could look him in the eyes; his expression serious, which caused you to run your thumb over his frown lines as you cupped his cheek. “I have an idea that will make it even better.” You looked at him curiously. “Let’s get married.”

“Ty, I think I already told you I’d marry you.” You chuckled in return.

“I know that. I mean like now…well not now, but like this week.”

“What?” You weren’t quite sure you understood what he was saying. Well, you understood it; you just couldn’t believe he was saying it.

“I want to marry you now (Y/N).” When you didn’t say anything he kept going. “Hear me out, cause I know what you’re going to say. We’ll still have the big wedding this summer with our families, but I just want to like head to the courthouse and make it official, now. I want you to be my wife before the baby comes.” You blinked back your surprise. “I love you. I love you more than anything, but I want our child’s birth certificate to read Tyler and (Y/N) Seguin; not Tyler Seguin and (Y/F/L/N).” His eyes searched yours. You could see the gravity of the situation weighing in his mind.

He went to say more, but you pressed a finger to his lips; a smile touching yours as you said, “Yes Tyler; yes I will marry you now.” A grin broke out on his face and you could tell he wanted to say more, so you continued. “Though you promise that we’ll still have the wedding? My parents would kill me, and you for that matter.”

“Trust me so would my family. We can’t do it tomorrow, the courthouse is closed. How about the third? I have a game on the second. We could get Jamie and Jenna to stand for us.”

“Wow, you’ve really thought this all out.”

“Yeah, maybe a little,” and you could see the blush on his cheeks even in the dim moonlight. “(Y/N), I know I’ve told you this before, but I’ve wanted to marry you almost since we met. I just don’t see a reason to wait, now that you’ve said yes.”

Reaching over, you kissed his lips. “I feel the same way, Ty. I just have one question.” He raised his eyebrows in question. “Do you think we should tell anyone? I mean besides Jamie and Jenna.”

“Babe I want to tell the world that I’m married to you, but I have a feeling it won’t go over well with our families. So for now, how about it will be just our little secret?”

“Agreed,” For some reason, there were butterflies of excitement in your belly and they weren’t from the baby. You were officially going to be Mrs. Tyler Seguin in just three short days. It had been a hard road to get here, but all your dreams were finally coming true. “I guess Cabo is going to be a babymoon and a honeymoon.”

[captcas]

Worth Fighting For (8/?)

WORTH FIGHTING FOR by capthamm

Killian “Hook” Jones is a dominate up and comer in the UFC while Emma “The Savior” Swan’s career was cut short. When Hook’s manager moves up and the office brings in UFC’s youngest legend to keep him in check, will either of them be able to handle it?

read on ao3 // tumblr: ch 1/ ch 2 / ch 3 / ch 4 / ch 5 / ch 6 / ch 7

[CHAPTER 8/?]

Nervous is an understatement– no, it’s the understatement... of the century. The ride up was easy, she purposely cancelled their check in meeting yesterday to be sure they at least had work to talk about for the two hour car ride. Her plan worked, and their conversation rarely shifted into anything remotely personal. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be friends with him, but this entire “weekend away” will be easier if they keep things strictly business. She was reluctant to text him last night– typing and retyping her messages a dozen times. All it took was five minutes of back and forth and all her nerves settled and she found them talking in an easy rhythm.

She doesn’t want to analyze what that means.

Emma isn’t sure what to expect for the rest of this weekend, but as Killian pulls the car up to the lobby of the hotel Regina booked for them, she feels like she wants to vomit. She hasn’t stepped within 5 miles of a UFC event since she found out she was pregnant with Henry and while she knows most of the focus will be on the fighters, she can’t help the pang of anxiety at the thought someone might recognize her.

Killian parks and tells her that he’ll unload the car if she doesn’t mind checking them in. She nods and he smiles brightly, seemingly oblivious to her nerves. The hotel is nothing fancy, your standard Holiday Inn, but it does have a lobby bar which she’ll definitely need after tonight.

People are definitely going to recognize her. Breathe.

She walks up to the front desk and a sleepy-looking man clicking behind the computer. She has to clear her throat to snap him out of his tired trance. “Oh, good morning, ma’am. How can I help you?” He punctuates his sentence with a yawn and Emma chuckles to herself.

“I’d like to check-in me and my, uh, co-worker, please. The rooms should be under Mills?”

The man nods and types a few things into the computer. “Ah yes, a double room for Mills Management already paid in full. I presume you are Miss Swan?”

“Yup, that’s me. There should be a second room for a Mr. Jones… under the same reservation?” The man furrows his eyebrows and Emma’s stomach drops– this cannot be happening.

“I’m sorry Miss Swan, I only see one reservation under that name.”

Emma sighs and searches for her company card, “That’s no problem, could we just book a second room please?” As she finishes her sentence, she feels Killian at her side.

“Everything alright, Swan?” She nods. She catches herself subconsciously fidgeting with the sleeve of her jacket while the tired gentleman continues to click away on his computer and knows she doesn’t have the resolve to explain what’s going on right now to Killian.

When the worker finally speaks, Emma’s fear materializes in front of her, “I’m sorry, Miss. It seems we are full tonight, there’s some sporting event here this weekend that’s had us booked up for a while. That’s probably why your company could only get one room…”

Emma feels Killian stiffen at her side once he realizes what’s going on. She’s surprised when he speaks, “Surely you must have something available, mate. A last minute cancellation?”

The man shakes his head, “I’m sorry, sir. Yours is the last room.”

Emma walks away from the counter, the world suddenly seeming rather small. She hears Killian ask the front desk worker for a moment before she sees him sit next to her. When did she sit down?

Killian grabs the tip of her chin, forcing her to look at him. She swears there’s a spark at his touch, not to mention how comforting his presence is overall— get it together, Emma. He’s speaking but she hasn’t been paying attention, “I’m sorry, what?”

“I simply said we can find another hotel, love. I’m sorry this was all messed up, Swan. I can call Regina and get this figured out.”

The genuine care in his eyes, and probably the overuse of those damn pet names, is the only possible explanation for what she says next. “It’s fine.”

Killian practically falls off the uncomfortable lobby couch they’re sharing. “I’m sorry, love?”

“It’s fine. I mean, as long as it’s fine with you, I’m fine. We’re both adults, right? And we drove all the way here and no other hotel is going to have space, plus weigh-ins are in an hour so we don’t really have time… I’m just saying it’s all we’ve got and we’ll be fine. I can take the couch or we can switch off or we can just be fucking adults and– if you want to cut me off that’d be great?” She’s used to him stopping her babbling but he’s just staring at her like her face is melting.

He shakes his head and it seems to bring him back to reality, “Sorry, love. Aye, you’re right. It’ll be fine.”  She can’t help but let out a rather obnoxious laugh when his hand immediately finds the back of his ear. The tips of his ears turn bright red as his hand snaps back to his lap. “Uh, right then. I’ll go talk to the front desk then, aye?”

All she can do is nod. Emma’s not sure what came over her, but for a split second sharing a room with Killian didn’t seem like that bad of an idea– she’d be lying if she said her opinion changed in the following seconds. She sort of zones out, probably in some sort of rash decision shock, until Killian is back by her side, this time with a pair of keys and their suitcases.

The rush of disappointment that runs through her when she thinks he actually managed to get two seperate rooms is honestly ridiculous. “Oh, uh, did they end up having an extra room?”

Killian looks confused until he follows her eyes to the two keys in his hand, “No, lass, just thought it best we both have a key.”

She sighs with what she refuses to recognize as  relief and seriously hopes Killian can’t read the actual minefield happening in her head right now. “Oh, ha, duh! Should we drop our stuff off and head out then?”

He eyes her warily– most likely shocked she agreed to this at all, let alone is handling it so well, “Aye, lass. Room #404. Let’s go.” He smiles at her and her stomach does another flop. She tells herself what she told Killian, they’re adults they can handle bunking together for two nights, but she ignores the overwhelming feeling of anticipation in her chest that won’t seem to settle down.

. . .

As they walk back to the car after dropping luggage in their room– their room – Killian is still replaying the last ten minutes in his head. He subtly pinches himself to make sure this isn’t some crazy dream he’s about to wake up from.

He knows it’s not— the slight brush of her knuckles against his as the walk is the realest thing he’s felt in ages.

Fuck.

The car ride to the weigh-ins is more awkward than Killian thought it’d be, about halfway through, he can’t help but break the silence, “Look, Swan, I know this isn’t ideal. I can call Regina and we can surely figure–”

“I’m terrified to step foot in the arena again.”

He’s a bit shocked at her confession; he’s grateful, but unsure why Emma keeps letting him in. She’s playing with her sleeve again and he can’t help but reach over and stop her— her fingers automatically wrap around his and he feels every ounce of oxygen leave his body. Somehow he manages to speak, “Swan, it’s going to be ok.”

“How can you be so sure? What if people start asking questions? What if I accidentally slip up about Henry? What if this is a total disaster?” She’s looking at him like he holds all the answers and while he’s positive he doesn’t, for her he’d try to figure out anything.

“None of those things are going to happen, love. You’re going to be a brilliant manager and -should you want to be- a happy sight for UFC die-hards, and when this is all over, you’ll go back to being a secret super mom. I have no doubt.” Killian’s not sure he’s capable of doubting Emma.

She’s smiling now— it’s soft and humble but it’s a smile all the same. She looks down, studying the end of her sleeve intently before speaking quietly, “You really think so?” Killian can feel her looking at him again— his senses continually on high alert when she’s around.

He checks the road before briefly finding her eyes— he needs her to know he’s sincere, “I have yet to see you fail.” She looks stunned at first— perhaps still not used to being believed in and he can’t help but wonder what made her this way— but then she nods resolutely and he feels as though he’s succeeded at least minuscully. It isn’t until she squeezes his hand, in a silent sign of appreciation, that he realizes it’s still entwined in hers. He squeezes back before giving her a soft smile that he hopes conveys everything he knows she's still too skittish to hear aloud— and he’s too afraid to admit. She smiles back and turns to look out the window.

He’s fascinated at the way they can communicate without saying a word.

The rest of the relatively quick drive is quiet, but comfortable unlike before. He practically felt the tension leave the car and when he turns into the parking lot, for Emma’s sake, he silently hopes it doesn’t return. It’s not that he is annoyed or unwilling to help her, but rather that it pains him to see Emma so unsure of herself— especially when he’s never been so sure of someone in his life.

This enigma of a woman turned his world upside down in a matter of two weeks, and while that should scare the hell out of him, he finds himself excited by all the what ifs.

Killian pays the parking attendant and finds a relatively close spot. He turns the car off but decides to let Emma lead— noticing she’s giving herself one hell of a mental pep talk in that passenger seat. In a feeble attempt not to rush her, he pulls out his phone and scrolls through the UFC tag on Twitter. It’s mostly predictions for match ups and betting on whether or not Nottingham will actually make weight but it keeps him busy until she finally speaks up.

“Ok, let’s go.”

He looks up and can read the nerves all over her face, “You’re ready, Swan?”

“As I’ll ever be.” She gives him the same determined nod from before and gets out of the car. He follows suit and takes a deep breath before walking with her towards the arena. He uses the short trek to fall into character, almost forgetting to be “Hook” in Emma’s presence.

She makes it so easy to be just Killian— to want to be just Killian.

They take one more deep breath in unison before walking through the large glass doors into the brightly lit arena.

. . .

The first thing she notices is the familiar smell of concession food, followed closely by the absolute blinding light of the arena’s fluorescents. She resists the urge to grab Killian’s hand like she did in the car, but she could really use a sturdy reminder she’s not alone. She hazards a glance to her side, the reminder of his presence enough for now. They make it maybe 300 feet without anything happening.

Then, with the flash of a camera, it feels like everything is happening at once.

“Miss Swan!” “Over here!” “Savior!” “Emma Swan!” “Why did you leave?” “Why come back now?” “Why Hook?” “Hook!” “Jones!” “Mr. Jones, quick question!” “Swan! Jones! Right here!”

It’s worse than she imagined and she can’t help but wish she had somewhere to hide. Sometimes it’s a good thing Killian can practically read her mind.

She feels him tower over her and her nose bumps into his back. “Stay behind me, Swan. It’ll be alright.” She nods against him as he pushes through the crowd. She hears him mutter a few “excuse me”s and “no comment”s, not giving the press much of anything. He’s also doing a good job of remaining mostly calm. As his manager, she should probably be encouraging him to talk to the press, but it’s hard to want to give them anything when they act like this. She hates the press.

He can make a statement later– right now she just wants to get to their seats.

And they do, the usher stopping the press at the entrance to their floor seats. As soon as they walk through the tunnel, Killian finds his place back at her side and she smiles at him gratefully, not sure she’s calm enough to form words right now. He makes sure she’s settled before sitting next to her.  “You alright, Swan? I despise those bloody pricks.”

She chuckles, his words mimicking her thoughts almost exactly, “Ha, me too. No harm, no foul though.” Emma watches the tension leave his body and can’t help but notice the muscles in his neck relax. She realizes she’s staring and speaks up to fill the void between them, “Thank you, by the way.” She looks away, not used to being taken care of by someone other than the Nolan’s or Ruby.

“Don’t mention it, love. Now I should probably make some sort of statement–” He scratches behind his ear, seemingly hesitant to leave her.

“Yeah, for sure… I suppose I should be telling you that.” He smiles and she nods, an unspoken reassurance that she’ll be alright.

It takes almost a half hour before Killian returns, Emma is nose deep in predictions for tomorrow night’s card and jumps when he clears his throat. “Jesus, Killian. You scared the shit out of me.”

“Apologies, lass. Your purse seems to be saving my seat.” She laughs as she moves her purse– studying him as he sits. Killian seems to be in a much better mood than before and she hopes that means his statement went well.

“How’d it go?” She’s not sure why she says it so nervously, but she can’t help but feel this intense energy between them whenever there isn’t something concrete to talk about. It’s weirdly comforting and not at all unwelcome.

Another thing that scares the shit out of her.

“Quite alright, Swan. Don’t worry, Regina won’t fire you yet.” He winks and she realizes she wasn’t asking as his manager but rather as a genuinely curious friend. She supposes she should be more focused on her actual job than the man she’s supposed to be doing it for, but she can’t seem to shake him. She doesn’t want to. She rolls her eyes and he smiles brighter. “In all seriousness, love. It went well. I talked up my brilliant new manager and how excited I am to get back into the octagon.”

She stiffens at the mention of her, nervous the questioning went further than she’d like it to. She trusts Killian, but the paparazzi are brutal.  “Relax, Swan. I didn’t take any questions.” He has this uncanny knack for always knowing what to say– and what not to say. He ends the conversation and steers it into more comfortable waters, “Popcorn?”

She snorts, not realizing he’s had a red and white striped bag in his hand this entire time, “Thanks, but isn’t concession popcorn a huge step outside your strict training diet?”

He throws his head back in a genuine laugh Emma’s only been able to witness a handful of times, “Yes, Swan. Butter and salt are most definitely not allowed.” His gaze turns sincere and Emma can’t help but gulp a bit. “I didn’t do it for me.”

She knows on the surface they’re talking about the popcorn, but deep down, she also knows he’s implying so much more. Everytime Killian talks, it’s laced with innuendos and double meanings, and while Emma should be scared that those double meanings are becoming more heartfelt than flirty, she can’t find it in her to be anything but excited. For someone who has run her entire life, her heart seems pretty intent on staying right here. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at once, and as weigh-ins begin, she finds comfort in his presence, completely forgetting about the fact they’re headed back to the same hotel room and into uncharted waters.

[i-am-snowils-admiral]

Slip Away

Someone in a discord told me to do Izuku angst with a bit of vigilantism so have some.

This is just blatant dadzawa-adopts-kids-off-the-street-at-random have fun with it.

1960 words, also on Ao3

---

He’s been chasing the kid for a few months now.

If he’d been taking it seriously, he’d be in custody by now. The kid was young, inexperienced, and nowhere near as difficult to capture as most villains. For a vigilante, he wasn’t terrible, taking out small crime here and there, seemingly with nothing more than his wits and a crowbar, but there was something about him that made it obvious he had no idea what he was doing.

That was the problem, though. He was skittish, distrustful. Shouta had only ever seen him on the street, and he constantly looked underfed and dirty. He probably lived in one of these alleyways. There was a part of him that wanted to just grab the kid by surprise and drag him back to the station, where Naomasa could either find his parents or shuffle him into the foster system, but he’d done that before and it hadn’t gone well. There was a look in the kid’s eyes that was too familiar.

Hitoshi had run away from three different homes before he figured out what that look meant. Trust wasn’t something that came naturally, and the kid would just end up in the streets again if he didn’t do this slowly.

He’d complained to Hizashi about the situation extensively, ranting over the phone (as much as it could be considered ranting) about how the kid just kept slipping away from him every time he thought he was getting somewhere. Hizashi had taken to calling him Slip in response, and as a person who was terrible at naming things, Shouta couldn’t help but feel it was accurate. To both his slippery nature and his small size.

Slip wasn’t strong. He stuck to resolving the smaller, more common crimes, and didn’t like drawn-out fights. If he didn’t knock out his target within the first few minutes, he pulled back and contacted the police.

Unlike Shouta’s students, he seemed to have some knowledge of his limits.

He had learned, though, with Shouta’s help. Shouta had met the young vigilante about six months ago, arriving at the scene of a crime just in time to see him disappear deeper into the alleyway, and the kid just kept showing up. He didn’t talk to him at first. As they encountered each other more often, he started staying on-site after the take-downs, but it wasn’t until Shouta had to re-locate his shoulder after a particularly brutal fight with a mugger that he had finally received a quiet “thanks.”

It was unclear how old he was. His figure and voice suggested that he was young, but in this quirked society, those aspects didn’t mean as much as they would have otherwise. The way that he spoke and acted definitely pointed towards early to mid teens, though. Shouta had alerted Naomasa of the situation, and politely asked for permission to handle it on his own time.

He couldn’t make that mistake again. The cost had almost been too high.

Their first actual interaction had been about the punching. Slip used his crowbar almost exclusively, relying on the strength of the weapon to make up for his lack of muscle mass, but on one particular fight, it had been knocked out of his hands. Instead of pulling back as he usually would, he darted forwards, fist thrusting forwards in a continued effort to bring down the low-level criminal he was facing.

He would have broken all of his fingers had Shouta not intervened. Had this kid never thrown a punch before? He’s certainly watched plenty of punches. How could he possibly not know that you couldn’t tuck your thumb underneath all your other fingers?

Shouta had ended the fight in an instant, leaving the criminal unconscious on the ground as he rounded on the smaller figure.

Slip had left that fight knowing how to throw a proper punch. And how to stand properly. And how to break out of a few holds.

Shouta had had to knock the criminal out a couple extra times. It was a long lesson.

After that, things snowballed. Slip was tiny. While fixing his stance, Shouta had been able to feel every rib through his sweatshirt. His wrists were bony and pale. So the next time they ran into each other, Shouta shoved a protein bar and some juice packs into his arms. It was all he had on him at the time. The time after that, he had a proper meal. They sat on the sidewalk while Slip ate, Shouta turned slightly away so he could keep his face hidden without the medical mask he normally wore. They talked a little bit, about fighting and life. Shouta plied the kid for information about where he was living, what his name was, and whether he was safe, but got little in return.

That was ok, though. Shouta wasn’t trying to find him out. He just had to gain his trust. Food would gain his trust. Bandaging his wounds would gain his trust. Listening to him would gain his trust.

Slip liked to ramble. About anything and everything. Mostly heroes, but occasionally about criminal groups he’d run into and subsequently fled from. He always had some new tip for Shouta, some new fact that he’d picked up in his wanderings.

“Mr. Eraser,” he’d say, green eyes serious and intense. “Did you know that the Yakuza has been recruiting lately?”

Shouta had known that, but he hadn’t known that the new recruits were all highschoolers, or that most of them had expressed an interest in studying biology.

Slip seemed to be simultaneously terrified of him and desperate for his attention. After a few months, it became clear that he was seeking Shouta out, though he didn’t stick around very long. He’d flit in and out of Shouta’s reach, sometimes refusing to come closer than the nearest rooftop, and other times sneaking in close to hang off of his sleeve. One time, he simply walked up to Shouta and hugged him, burying his face in Shouta’s side and standing there, trembling slightly. For a moment, Shouta thought that that was the end of it, that he could finally take the kid off the streets, but when he’d reached out to reciprocate the gesture, Slip had run off once again.

He couldn’t be hasty, though. It couldn’t happen again. He knew where Slip was, at least. He was keeping track of him, knew what villain groups were in the area.

Hitoshi had been in another city when it happened. A place he was unfamiliar with. He’d run away again, and run into the wrong people.

It took Shouta nearly three days to find him after that.

He hadn’t seen Slip in a few days when he finally ran into him. For once, he’d found the kid instead of the other way around, and he wasn’t facing a mugger or a thief. He was slumped against the wall of an alley, sweatshirt seemingly still damp from yesterday’s rain. His shoulders trembled.

Shouta slid down the wall to sit next to him, leaving some space between them. Slip’s breaths were labored, the trembling looking more violent and uncontrolled closer-up.

“Hey, Mr. Eraser,” came the quiet greeting. The words were grating, and ended in a fit of nasty-sounding coughs.

“Hey,” Shouta responded, leaning forward to make sure Slip knew he was studying him. What little of his face he could see was flushed, eyes glassy and unfocused.

Slip sniffed, looking away.

“I’m tired,” he said, curling into himself, digging thin fingers into his arms in an attempt to stop the shaking. “I’m tired, Mr. Eraser.”

Shouta reached out slowly, laying his fingers on the kid’s forehead. It was damp and hot. “You should rest, then. Do you have somewhere you can rest? I can get you medicine.”

Slip just hummed a little in response, and they sat in silence.

“Hey,” Slip said, sniffing again through some heavy congestion. “It’s my birthday today.”

“Yeah? I should get you some birthday cake too, then.”

Slip laughed a little. “I don’t think I could eat it.”

“Maybe when you’re better, then. How old are you turning?”

Slip hesitated a bit, and buried his face in his knees. “Thirteen.”

That…was younger than Shouta had expected. He’d expected the teenage part, but he’d thought that he’d be fifteen at the youngest.

He’s been chasing a twelve-year-old for six months.

Slip coughs again, and Shouta’s heart stutters in his chest. It sounds bad. Really bad. The coughs last a long time, and Shouta has to rub his back before they taper off. The kid slumps a little more, breathing hard.

He can’t leave him out here. He’ll die if he spends more time outside.

“I have a son around your age,” he says slowly.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Hitoshi had been younger than this. Shouta had chased him down time and time again, because he was the only one who could find him and bring him in after he’d run away again.

That last time, Hitoshi refused to come with him. He huddled deep into an old draining pipe, staring out at him with terrified, unfocused eyes.

Hitoshi had tried to fight off the villain group with his quirk, and they’d taken a liking to it. He’d escaped, but not before they’d locked a muzzle around his jaw, locking his mouth shut.

He was half-dead with dehydration by the time Shouta found him. He’d crouched outside that pipe for four hours, coaxing the kid out. It wasn’t until he promised that he wouldn’t have to go to another foster home, that he could stay with him, that Hitoshi had dragged himself out of the pipe, collapsing into Shouta’s arms.

Hitoshi had been eight at the time. Five years later, and he hadn’t run away once.

Being a single parent and an underground hero at the same time was hard, but Shouta doesn’t know how he’d lived without him before.

Beside him, Slip starts to cry. He’d been too careful this time. Twelve was too young to be on the streets for that long. What had happened to Hitoshi had made him paranoid, unwilling to force the issue, but he should have moved faster. Should have gotten this kid safe sooner. The sobs are broken, interrupted with coughing.

“I’m tired, Mr. Eraser,” the kid says again. “I want to go home.”

“I can take you home.”

Slip shakes his head. “There’s nothing there anymore.”

“You can come home with me.”

It’s not the first time he’s offered, but it’s the first time Slip doesn’t shrug it off. Instead, he sniffs loudly and says, “really?”

Shouta reaches out again and brushes the damp hair from Slip’s forehead, hesitating before pushing the hood of his hoodie down off his head.

Slip’s hair is dirty, and matted, and wet, but he thinks it might be green. “Really.”

The kid slumps against him, burying his head in Shouta’s shoulder. The fever burns through the fabric of his hero costume.

“Okay.”

It’s quiet, but it’s permission. Shouta moves slowly, but sweeps the kid up into his arms bridal style, keeping his head rested on his shoulder. Slip’s head lolls, and the kid stares up at him with clouded eyes.

He’s sick and vulnerable and young and he trusts Shouta so much, he should have done this weeks ago.

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Izuku.”

“Well, Izuku, when you feel better, we can get some birthday cake.”

Shouta walks towards his apartment. It’s not far, and Hitoshi will be home from school soon. Shouta had told him weeks ago that he may have to start sharing his room. Izuku hums, smiling slightly at the mention of birthday cake.

By the time they reach the apartment, the kid is already asleep.

[remnantoforario]

Ok then...

So a little while ago I did a post about my thoughts on the newest RWBY manga. It was mostly a bunch of scattered ramblings, but essentially i broke down why I believe it was better than the show (at least starting out). 

I originally wanted to do all the chapters up to now in that post, but since I spent so much time on the first chapter alone, I thought it best to just do a post for each chapter as I reread them. You guys seemed to like my thoughts on the first one, so here we go with chapter two.

Heads Up: This will not be a review of the chapter itself per se, it will be a comparison between the manga and original source material. As such I will be spending most of the time going over the character interactions, slight world-building changes, and anything else I see different. Cool? Let’s get started then...

So chapter 2 of the starts out just as chapter 4 of the show did, though with a noticeable change in Ruby’s attitude. 

In the original she was practically bouncing off the walls, excited by the prospect of fighting monsters. Here she is much more somber, reflecting on what happened the previous day, as well as expressing apprehension with teaming up with what are essentially a bunch of strangers. 

I like this change very much honestly. It makes Ruby a much more relatable and realized character, which is something the show didn’t readily do until way later. She’s in a completely new environment (one she still feels she doesn’t fully belong in), and her first interactions with people that aren’t her sister have been less than positive. It makes sense that she would be worried. 

I think Yang also comes off a bit better in these scenes. Before she was kind of treating Ruby as a bit of a pest. Sure she wants her to be more sociable, but there it seemed more like out of a desire to not have her little sister “cramp her style” while here she’s doing her best to encourage her. So good job there.

Next we get a better look at Jaune (who briefly appeared in chapter one) and are formally introduced to Pyrrha. Not much to say here since the scene is pretty much the same, but I will point out that Jaune speaking french was a nice little touch given his character origin. 

Ruby’s face is also great here. Really makes her feel like an outsider looking in.

I also wanted to highlight this little nugget:

The fact that anyone is jealous of Jaune about anything is hilarious.

The next crucial scene is when Weiss and Ruby meet in the Emerald Forest. Now the way this happens in canon is fine for what it is, but how this plays out in the manga speaks more to the characters. 

Weiss (like in the original) walks away, but instead of chasing her, Ruby simply lets her go; and is relieved to have done it, telling herself that they didn’t see one another. Remember, so far established in the story these two DO NOT like each other. To Weiss, Ruby is nothing more than a child that lucked her way into Beacon, and to Ruby, Weiss is a stuck-up, rich jerk. It makes sense that they would not want to pair with one another. They just can’t get along. It’s the same as in the series, but the manga does it much better in my opinion because of one thing: consistent character arcs.

Ok this is going to get a little long (too late). When Ruby is first introduced into the series, she had a Flat Character Arc (at least from what I perceived). For those who don’t know, a Flat Character arc is one in which said character does NOT change for better or worse; they are well...flat. They have come to terms with themselves and thus have been fully realized before the story even starts. So if they will not change, the world instead changes around them in an attempt to challenge or reinforce those beliefs. Examples of this are Son Goku and Saitama from One Punch Man.

The main crux of the flat arc is “The truth that the character believes”. It is a truth that they know to be real and will not waiver from, no matter what the plot throws at them.

Goku’s truth for example, is that he can always be better than he was yesterday. That no matter how strong he gets, there will always be someone stronger to fight. That is why he trains and how he overcomes his problems, through this truth to be better and force of will. 

Ruby’s truth was that no matter what she would be a hero. She would protect people and become a Huntress like in her stories. 

Which would have worked fine...if the show kept to that ideal. 

In the beginning, Ruby was flat. She never really experienced any setbacks, she was never in the wrong, and she was never really challenged by anyone. Her team pretty much went along with everything she did without question and she never really had a problem in any fight she was put in. She was essentially...a mary sue (even chibi pointed that out). She didn’t have to learn how to overcome her prejudices like Weiss, face her past like Blake, or even shoulder the familial burdens that Yang had to (who was also kind of flat but thats another discussion). Ruby pretty much had nothing to worry about, until V3.

Volume 3 is where the story shifts. Our characters are met with an action that provides lasting consequences: The deaths of Penny, Pyrrha, and Ozpin, the destruction of the school, Yang losing her arm, Blake confronting Adam and running away to Menagerie, Weiss going home, etc. 

In a flat character arc, Ruby would learn from these experiences and acquire a new skill (silver eyes) in which to reinforce her beliefs and defeat the Lie of the world (Salem’s forces)...but she doesn’t. Ruby waivers and does nothing while the Lie continues to spread, this is where her character begins to fail. 

Her teammates (as well as everyone else around her) are experiencing their own arcs whether they be positive (Yang, Blake, Weiss, Jaune, Ren, Nora, etc.) or Negative (Emerald, Adam, Raven, and Salem). Ruby remains static, but not in a way that is compelling. She doesn’t change the world, she’s just in it. As such she remains stagnant. 

Miles and Kerry wrote her arc in reverse. They started flat, but then tried to go positive. That doesn’t work because it challenges everything that came before it and in turn makes Ruby worse. Looking back, her progression from Volumes 4-6 was a (somewhat) good example of a positive character arc. She saw problems that changed her and allowed her to overcome (Tyrian, Battle of Haven, Brunswick Farm, Cordovin, and the Leviathan). The problem was that volumes 1-3 were spent with her being completely flat. The dichotomy only made things frustrating to watch from an audience perspective because the flat arc was not presented in the right way for the story to build on it. 

Switching back to the manga (finally): Kinami instead switches things around and gives Ruby a positive character arc. This arc is all about “the Lie the character believes” as opposed to the Truth of the Flat Arc. In the manga, the lie Ruby tells herself is: “I don’t belong.”

She skipped two grades, was forced into a place she doesn’t know, and is constantly told by others that her dream is childish and she should go home. This is what leads to her more dour and self-deprecating personality (as well as her already socially awkward behavior). She is constantly challenged and thus continues to doubt herself, which strengthens the lie.

Weiss is not exempt from this either: 

Upon leaving Ruby she tries to find a partner, leading her to Jaune (hanging from a tree as in the show) who she also refuses. In the show, she goes back to Ruby in another humorous moment, but in the manga she doesn’t. The Lie Weiss believes is that she must be perfect, and thus only the perfect partner (notably Pyrrha or someone similar) will aid in that Lie and let her achieve her impossible goals. Without perfection, she is nothing.

The conviction in the belief of this lie nearly leads to her death when she is ambushed by Grimm. 

This leads to the most climactic moment of the chapter.

Ruby saves Weiss, but she still isn’t friendly with her. She tells her that she didn’t want to be her partner, but letting her die would not be right and she wouldn’t be the Huntress she wanted to be if she let that happen. That new resolve all stemmed from this moment earlier in the chapter:

Like Weiss, Ruby thought to leave and find her sister, but it was Yang’s words that made her rethink her action: “Remember what you’re here for. This is to become the Huntress you dream of being right?”

This is the first step towards Ruby’s positive character change. Again it turns a comedic scene serious, but its all in service of the characters and makes them better. She goes back to defend and team with someone she decidedly does not like, because it furthers her goal. It helps dissolve the Lie, and forces them to work together. 

 Chapter 2 is just as good, if not better than chapter 1. We get a much better look at the characters, but we also start to encounter the manga’s one major flaw; but we’ll get into that in the next part.

[dyaz-stories]

The Maid and The Bodyguard — Chapter Eleven

First — Previous — Next — Also available on fanfiction.net

Next chapter should be arriving tonight on fanfiction.net! Finally!

Summary: Inuyasha is princess Kikyo’s bodyguard, but one day, he fails to his duty and the princess is abducted. Kagome is a maidservant who works in the castle, and who has had an interest in Inuyasha for a long time. They are sent together to retrieve the Princess. On their way there, things may become a lot more complicated than they had anticipated. AU, Inukag.

Inuyasha didn’t think he had ever felt like that much of an asshole before. Ever. It had taken him some time to notice that Kagome wasn’t talking to him, mostly because he was used to the silence himself, as it had been everywhere around him for the most important part of his life, but this was different. Because it was her. Even when she was mad at him, or at the beginning of the journey when they basically didn’t talk, she was never that silent.

It worsened when he realized she wasn’t even looking at him. No — she refused to look at him, always adverting her eyes on the few occasions he tried to meet them. She was always behind him or in front of him, refusing any form of interaction.

He didn’t like it. It bothered him on a deep level that he wasn’t sure he completely understood.

Normally, in such a situation, he would have said something. Hell, the day before, or even back then when he didn’t give a fuck about her, he would have said something, even if it was just a complaint. Now though? Now he couldn’t silence the small voice in the back of his head that told him that this was for the best.

They had wasted time. Precious time they were supposed to use to get Kikyo, to save her. Even with doing something as trivial as allowing Kagome to sleep longer, he had failed the one person he should never, ever fail.

That didn’t mean he was happy about it. The cold treatment… got to him much more than he would have liked it to. It was probably better off that way though, wasn’t it? They would go their separate way after that, assuming they — she — made it out alive. She would go back to her family,  and he would keep doing his duty at Kikyo’s side.

Yes, he had to admit it, he would like it if Kagome was by his side. But he couldn’t ask that of her.

Despite that, despite his best resolve, the second Kagome talked to him while they were eating the dinner she’d silently cooked, he felt himself coming back to her, unable to keep himself to it.

“Are you okay?” Her voice was unusually quiet, like she tried to keep it perfectly calm, but it still wasn’t completely void of emotion.

“What’re ya talking about?” he tried to growl. He knew he wasn’t convincing, though he wasn’t sure she realized it. They felt like two actors badly trying to pretend they didn’t care about each other.

“Yesterday…” His heart missed a beat. Her warm body against his, the delicious sounds she’d made, her taste, her skin under his fingers… “It took me some time before I found you.”

Oh. Right. He cursed himself for letting his mind send him to this immediately. He felt like he was on fire now, his entire body only desiring to go back to her, and he dug his claws in the ground as if it would help him restrain himself.

“But you did.”

Kagome’s head snapped up and her eyes met his, perhaps for the first time that day. She quickly looked away, but for a second, she had looked desperately pleading. Pleading for… he wasn’t quite sure. For him to stay away? His ears drooped a little. Yeah. He had no right to her. He never had any. Even if it wasn’t for their current situation, even in a world where neither of them would have had obligations, he was still a half-demon. She was human. Worse, she was apparently a priestess.

He cleared his throat. “’m fine.” Don’t worry. “You did the right thing. I dunno what would have happened if you hadn’t come.” Well, he did. He just didn’t want to think about it, and he certainly didn’t want her to do so.

Her shoulders relaxed just a little, and Inuyasha couldn’t help but frown. So she had worried. It made him want to go over to her, walk to the other side of the fire that was resolutely burning between them, and just hold her. Tell her she’d done the right thing. Also — had she really been scared of his reaction? For saving his life? Did she really think he was that much of a dick?

Probably did, actually. He wasn’t too sure why she was coming to this conclusion now of all times, but again, it was probably for the best. Even if it made him feel lower than earth at the moment.

“I know you said you didn’t want me to, but…”

“It went well,” he interrupted her. Maybe it was dumb and reckless, and he never wanted to endanger herself like that again, certainly not for him, but he was alive and well because of her. Except for… Almost despite himself, his eyes fell to the beads around his neck. He had tried to take them off after she had fallen asleep and without much surprise, had failed.

Kagome’s eyes followed his, and she frowned when she noticed the Beads again.

“Want me to try to remove it?”

He shook his head. “Maybe later, but y’re still exhausted by what ya did last night. I’m not sure how that shit works, but Kikyo’ll probably be able to take it off when we get her back.”

There was brief silence. “Yes, of course.”

He blinked at her as she glanced away, her voice sounding even more bitter than earlier for some reason he couldn’t figure out.

“What about you?” he asked, trying to shake away the uncomfortable silences that seemed to have suddenly become the norm between them despite how natural the conversation had become over the past weeks.

She didn’t look back at him. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

“You…”

“I should sleep. That way you won’t be slowed down tomorrow.”

He tensed, but she was still carefully avoiding to look at him. In only a few seconds, she was under the blankets, her back turned to him, and he remained where he was for a long moment, staring at her, trying to understand what was going on. There was a lump in his throat, and his ears were practically ringing with the sense of something being terribly wrong.

He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand how she could come and save him and now refuse to even just look at him. What had he…

It was the kiss, wasn’t it? It had to be the kiss. He shouldn’t have. He should have known better. He could have sworn, then, that she hadn’t minded. From the way she’d responded, he’d felt like… Like… Like she wanted it as much as he did. But maybe he’d just been taking advantage of her in a time of weakness, and maybe it had just been one of those things that can only happen during the darkest hours of the night, something that can’t exist under the sun, or next to a fire.

It was okay though. He would let her be, if that was what he wanted. He didn’t have much time by her side. He would try not to ruin it, though it looked like he was pretty good at that.

When her breathing slowed, he stood slowly. It felt like a bad idea, but from where he was, her smell was masked by that of ashes and burning wood, and he didn’t like it. He came to sit next to her, studying her peaceful face, trying not to think about her lips that were slightly parted. He reached out to run his fingers through her hair, and then yanked his hand back after barely brushing against it.

What if she didn’t want even that? What if she didn’t want his contact even in this simple way now? What if it disgusted her?

He sat there looking at her, helpless, hoping for a sign from her that she obviously couldn’t give him.

He didn’t get any sleep that night.

Kagome was confused. Since that morning, her interactions with Inuyasha had been reduced to close to nothing. At first it had mostly been on her side, but now he had completely stopped as well. The problem was that it wasn’t even as bitter or angry as her reaction. Instead, it was… quiet. Almost sad. And as much as she had told herself she wouldn’t let herself be hurt again, she hated to watch him closing himself more and more.

She refused to reach out just to get shut down again, but the fact that he was not only distant but miserable made it pretty damn hard. After all, if there was one thing Kagome did, it was to care. It would have been easier if she could pretend she didn’t. Somehow, part of her had thought Inuyasha certainly didn’t — and had gotten ready to pretend he was just good at acting like he did, because it would hurt less.

Except that apparently, Inuyasha did care. And that… made it all so much harder and more complicated.

It also made it a lot harder for her to understand. Or… or maybe it didn’t. She didn’t know, she wasn’t sure, she was so stupidly confused.

If he cared, it had to mean that he hadn’t just been toying with her when he had kissed her. It definitely hadn’t felt that way, but she had assumed afterwards that her exhaustion had been the reason for her imagining things that she wanted to be there. But then, she had to wonder why he’d been such an asshole right after. Even before he started acting plain weird, he had been distant for the entire day, keeping her away. And he had the nerves to act all dejected when she gave him the exact same treatment?

She wanted to be mad at him. She really did. She didn’t want to be forgiving and understanding anymore, because it hurt, dammit. He shouldn’t be getting a pass for how horrible he made her feel.

But it wasn’t like she could act as though there weren’t other things at play.

After all, Inuyasha wasn’t exactly great with human interactions. He was also in a stressful situation, with the only person he had cared for during the last ten years in great danger. He was new to talking to anyone but her, and maybe she was wrong, but Kagome felt that his relationship with her was very different from the one he shared with Kikyo. This had to come into play somewhere.

Still, none of this made it okay for him to hurt her.

Maybe if there had been an apology from him, she would have easily been able to forgive him, but, as she slowly realized, Inuyasha probably didn’t even realize he had hurt her.

Because yes, of course, there was another possibility.

It was that he regretted the kiss — and she could easily figure out why. He had started talking about Kikyo a lot more right after. Not in conversations like he used to do, when they had shared their past, but almost as a point of reference, as though she was his lantern shining in the light.

Which Kagome guessed, that was exactly what Kikyo was to him.

As for her, she was just… a distraction, maybe. Something new for him. But she was just that, wasn’t she? There was no way she could be more important to him than the woman who had been in his life for years now.

She wished she had understood that sooner. She couldn’t even find it in her to blame him for that, truly. She just felt defeated by the shadow of that woman she had never met and yet could never surpass, no matter how much she wanted to.

Whether or not she did want to was a question she pushed as far away from her mind as possible. She wasn’t stupid. She knew how she reacted around Inuyasha, but she wanted to think that, if she didn’t acknowledge them fully, her feelings would just fade away. It was a foolish hope, probably. But it hurt slightly less.

The days went on strangely.

On the second one, Inuyasha finally let her attempt to remove the Beads around his neck. When she came close he glanced away with a scoff, and for a second it was like she had found the person she knew again.

“Keh! Ya can try it, but we’d better just wait.”

She winced a little at that. Wait until they found Kikyo. He was right, of course. Kikyo was infinitely more qualified than her. She knew that. On a very reasonable, logical level, she could understand that. But she couldn’t help the painful pang in her chest at his words.

“Oh yeah? So you don’t mind if I just have to say a word to send you into the ground?”

This time he looked up at her, looking genuinely annoyed. “Don’t ya fucking dare—” He noticed then that she was smiling, and looked away again. “You would never.”

Kagome chuckled lightly at his indignant reaction. It had been easy to get back to their friendly banter for a second, but he was already stepping away again.

“Just try it, okay?” he mumbled, his head down this time, as though he was avoiding to look at her.

She nodded and took a step to get closer to him. She thought she heard him taking a deep breath, which made her frown. What, was it really that stressful for him to have her close now? He certainly hadn’t seemed to mind last time.

Inuyasha closed his eyes when she stepped in front of him, using the brief instant to breathe her scent in again. He hadn’t been able to, with how they had stayed away from each other, and he missed it. He missed it a lot. If he had been surprised by how intensely he needed it when he had been captured, he was fucking shocked at how much he wanted it now, even though he was with her all the time. It wasn’t enough anymore to smell her in the wind.

He wanted more.

She grabbed the necklace and tried to pull it up, letting out a surprised sound when she didn’t manage to do so. Well yeah, what had she thought? He’d tried that too.

He kept his eyes away as the girl focused, probably trying to use her powers again. He had been thinking she should train for that. Maybe they could try something, once they’d be in demon territory. They’d at least keep away some demons if they thought there was a priestess there. None that he couldn’t take care of, probably, but there was a possibility she would learn how to defend herself this way, and it would be better for her. Just in case.

She hissed in pain, and instantly his thoughts shattered as he jumped up, cursing himself for not noticing the smell of burnt skin earlier. He reached for her hands, turning them so he could see her palms, check that she wasn’t too injured, yell at her for hurting herself dammit and—

And he let go like he was the one who had burnt himself, not noticing how she paled when he did.

No touching. He wouldn’t do anything she wouldn’t want him to.

She looked at him expectantly. “I can try again…”

“No.” There was something completely final in his words, and this time, he let himself look directly into her eyes. “I’m not letting you hurt yourself again.”

She blinked for a second, then nodded, more compliant than he had expected her to. “Okay. Thanks, Inuyasha.”

The word shook him to his core, and it took everything in him not to just wrap her into his embrace. He didn’t know why it was the case now of all times. Maybe because he wasn’t sure she realized how much he meant it.

He didn’t want to see her being hurt again — ever. He wished he could promise her protection. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, practically biting his tongue in the process.

He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t do anything. He had nothing to give her.

“C’mon. Let’s go.”

Kagome stared at his back as he turned away a little too quickly. But she sighed and shrugged it off.

It was none of her business now.

“Last inn before demon territory. We’re stopping there.”

That had to be the longest sentence she’d heard from him in the last two days. Straight to the point, not letting place for choice or dialogue.

Had they really been set that far back?

“Well we can keep going,” Kagome offered, not bothering to look at him, knowing he wasn’t either. “It’s not night yet, and we’ll still have some time in demon territory anyway. Better not to waste any more time, right?”

She kinda wanted to smack herself for that last jab, especially when she saw him tensing and his ears droop. She hadn’t been expecting him to actually care, sure, but she was on edge and it wasn’t fair to take it out on him — even though he was the reason for it.

“No. We’re spending the night here. Now hurry your ass up.”

She rolled her eyes, already not feeling sorry for him anymore. That’s how they were going to be? Fine.

“Okay. Want me to let the window open?”

He flinched and glanced at her briefly.

“Yeah. That’d be… Yeah.”

For the first time, Kagome actually felt uneasy at his reaction. Something was wrong. The reactions he had had now twice today were not like him. He didn’t leave her any time to process it and decide how to ask though, as he quickly jogged away, running towards the inn.

The place was calm but tense. People actually didn’t seem to care as much when Inuyasha entered, though Kagome did notice a monk very calmly putting his staff on the table, in full display, just as a casual intimidation measure that still annoyed her. She guessed being that close to the demon territory couldn’t make people feel too comfortable, but wouldn’t everything be so much nicer if people didn’t try to scare each other all the time? God.

Soon she found herself in her room, left alone for once because of the reduced staff of the place. With a sigh, she sat down on her mattress. It felt like an eternity since she had last had some time for herself. Even without her journey with Inuyasha, she was busy all the time in the castle, her rare spare time being spent writing letters to her family.

Her family. She wondered if they worried about her, since she hadn’t done it in a while. Her mother probably didn’t, knowing her, and the thought brought a small smile to her lips.

Suddenly, fear gripped her by the throat.

What if she didn’t come back?

The thought had crossed her mind before, but she had trusted Inuyasha fully. Even now, she didn’t believe he would leave her to die, but even he wasn’t infaillible, so… So what if they didn’t make it back? Would her family never find out what happened to her? Would she never get to see Sota grow old? Would she never grow old, never get married, never have children?

No. She couldn’t let fear take her over. She needed to believe she would make it through, but… Just in case… She should probably write to her family.

Having obtained paper, ink and a brush, she proceeded to write down a message. There was not much she could say in it, but she could definitely tell them, once more, and hopefully not one last time, that she loved them. And that she hoped she would see them again soon.

She walked down once more to give instructions to have the letter sent. Maybe it would be considered cheating, as she was using her place as the princess to have it sent as fast as possible despite how far they were, but she told herself that maybe it was okay to do it. Just once.

When she went back to her room, she almost let out a scream. Inuyasha was leaning against the window. He glanced up at her, seeming startled, which, once more, was not normal. She knew he could tell when she was coming, whether it was because of his sense of smell or because of his hearing. There was no way she should have been able to surprise him.

She walked over to him, kneeling down by his side, and he swallowed, pushing himself a little further away against the wall.

“Inuyasha, what’s going on?”

“Keh, I have no idea what—”

“You didn’t hear me coming. You’re here and it’s not even the night, which means that people might have seen you coming in, and I know you don’t want that. So Inuyasha, what’s going on?”

He swallowed, glancing away from her.

“I don’t hear ya coming anyway,” he mumbled, which was an interesting information but not what she wanted to know right now. “I… ’s gonna be night soon. Just wait.”

She frowned, but rolled her eyes. She did want to ask him more. It wasn’t that easy for her to stay mad — but what was the point if he was just going to do it again?

Choosing a middle ground, she sat next to him. Not interrogating him, not trying to get him to talk. Just staying with him. He seemed confused at first, but as his shoulders relaxed, she felt his arm brushing against hers.

Since when haven’t we touched?

It couldn’t have been long, of course, but it felt so foreign again, and at the same time it became familiar so quickly, that Kagome felt some things she had tried to bury resurface. The spot where they were touching — through their clothes, not even skin to skin — started to burn, sending waves of pleasant warmth in her body.

She closed her eyes. This was why it was so hard to stay away from him. Because things could be so easy. They could feel so good. If everything could be like that, or with a couple of hardships, it would all be great. She would take it. She would take it gladly.

But it wasn’t like that, and someone who wasn’t there was standing between them, even now.

The room darkened, slowly, and next to her, Inuyasha tensed again, his body moving away from hers again. She bit her lip, but didn’t say anything. Already? She had hoped they would have a little more time. She looked at him, merely wanting to steal a glance, just for a second.

And froze, as she took in his long black hair, and realized the familiar triangular ears on top of his head were gone.

He wasn’t looking at her, his eyes closed, but his jaw was tight, and his fists clenched.

“What’s—”

“I’ll be human for the night.” His voice was just slightly less deep than it usually was, and also slightly less… angry sounding. “’til the sun rises. That’s why we need to be here. I wouldn’t be able to protect you over there.”

Her eyes widened at the second part of his statement, and she almost missed him cursing under his breath, like he hadn’t meant for that to slip out.

“Just sleep, ‘kay? We’ll be leaving as soon as the sun rises. I know we wasted time because of this.”

There was such rage and disgust in his voice that this time, Kagome couldn’t help but reach out. Usually, any other emotion disappeared under his constant state of anger and his growls. She wasn’t sure if he was also more emotional at the moment, but being able to know what he felt so easily just got to her in a very direct way. There was no way pretending he was just a stoic asshole now.

“No, you’re right. We would both have been in danger if we’d gone tonight,” she said softly, putting her hand on his.

For the briefest of moments, he closed his, now violet, eyes, and squeezed her fingers tightly between his.

And then he let go, and moved away.

“Ya should sleep Kagome. Really. We’re gonna have to move faster after tomorrow.”

She frowned. He couldn’t expect her not to ask question now. “What’s happening to you? Why are you… human?”

He let out a sound that vaguely resembled a growl, but he didn’t exactly have the right vocal cords for that right now, so it sounded a bit strange.

“New moon. ‘m always human on new moons.”

Her eyes went wide at his admission. She had been working in the castle for a while and she had never known about it, so it had to have been a well-kept secret, but that could not be good. Not with all the soldiers going around.

“And you… Were you alright?”

He grinned a little at the question, understanding instantly where she was going with it, because this was Kagome, and of course she’d worry. “I was fine, Kagome. Just had to make sure I wasn’t seen. Now sleep.”

And it was so much harder to get mad at him when there was that gentle tone in his voice, almost making her wonder if that was something that was always there and she just couldn’t hear it because he was usually better at hiding it.

“Fine,” she agreed with a mere roll of her eyes. “What about you?” She knew he kinda slept sitting usually, but if he was human and his body now had the same needs as hers, he’d better get some sleep as well.

“I never sleep on my human nights,” he said with a shrug.

“You should sleep. We’re safe here. You certainly won’t get much rest when we’re in demon territory. You need this, Inuyasha.”

He scoffed, clearly offended. “That’s why I hate this. Humans are so weak. How do you guys even survive like that?”

She was right though. He could feel the tiredness of the previous day getting to him, even if he had been a demon during it. Human nights were much harder for him than he would like to admit and, well, this was the first one since he had gotten injured. It still hadn’t healed completely, and he suspected the poison was acting up at the moment, now that his defenses was down. If he wanted to be sure to make it through the night, he should sleep.

But sleep on a human night was terrifying. Although… he guessed he wasn’t in as much danger right now, in this room, with someone he trusted, than in his tree in the Castle with people who wanted nothing more than to get him in a moment of weakness.

He studied her face, her pleading eyes as she just waited for him to think about it instead of arguing — which was probably the best thing to do at the moment. If he had been in his usual state, he would never have listened. His instincts would have been way too strong for that, his emotions easier to repress.

“Okay.”

Falling asleep hadn’t been as hard as he had thought it would be. Both of them laying on the mattress that was here for her alone, as far as possible but still close enough to touch. There was no doubt for Inuyasha that everything would have been way too overwhelming on a normal night, that he wouldn’t have been able to maintain that distance. While his emotions were more present on human nights, the disappearance of his instincts and of his heightened senses made things a little less… invasive.

Demons actually tended to experience things way harder than humans, so even if his emotions were more complex now, they didn’t leave him as defenseless, as unable to think calmly. He was the one who was just slightly less defensive and agressive. That was probably a human thing, as they didn’t have to worry about being devoured or absorbed by another demon who’d want to steal their powers.

Also, Kagome made him feel calm. At ease. Safe. And much to his surprise, he had been able to just drift into sleep, simply trusting her words, for the first time in forever.

But the human him was also much more sensitive to dreams.

They had gotten far less violent ever since… Well, ever since Kagome, but he woke up thrashing around, feeling fresh hands on his face, hearing gentle words whispered in his ears, still in half-daze, unable to completely break away from the horribly vivid images. Another human things maybe — those awfully realistic dreams.

“Kikyo— Kikyo— I need to—”

“Shhh, everything’s okay, Inuyasha. We’ll find her. We’ll find her.”

“I couldn’t save— I couldn’t—”

“Everything’s okay Inuyasha, I promise.”

The hands pulled his head on her lap and soothingly ran through his hair, and his eyes met hers desperately. He reached out to touch her face and she gasped softly when his fingers slowly traced her cheeks and her lips.

“Don’t go.”

It was a broken plea, and Kagome understood, not without feeling a harsh pain in her chest, that he was begging her. It was not enough to make her forget that he was thinking about Kikyo the second before, but that didn’t matter right now. And even if they would no doubt put the same distance between them the next day, even if apparently those moments could only happen in the secret of the night, she could not give up on him right now. She nodded, and he closed his eyes again once he had gotten the silent promise.

“Thank you, Kagome.”

There was so much he needed to thank her for. He wished he could tell her, but he hoped she knew exactly how grateful he was to her for this — for everything.

Never would he have imagined that she didn’t. Nor that her heart was silently breaking, even as she was holding him close and promising him that everything would be alright.

But then, he didn’t imagine either that hearing him say her name even while he was only half-conscious would have made her heart beat so fast