#what I'm aiming for in life
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I honestly find the whole "Megumi is in love with Tsumiki" tasteless, even if meant as a joke.
#truthfully i feel like it's because some people can't fathom the idea that blood related or not#people can love their siblings and have close relationships without feeling anything romantic#and that some of you clearly just want to jump on the megumi hate train#because there are siblings in the manga they are close that i don't see get the same treatment#I'm (not) sorry but not all the sibling relationships in jjk or anywhere are incestuous#or even meant to be implied#now if you think that alright but to me i don't see it i don't see megumi being in love with his sister#'but when todo asked----' AH!! I could go on a rant about that#but that still proves nothing#believe or not when you have a good influence in your household that will show you the kind of person you want in your life#have loving parents who are in a good marriage? you grow up and that's what you aim for#an older sibling who is kind? you recognize that as something good so that's what you look for in a partner#that doesn't mean you want to fuck your sibling#like do you expect people who have good relationships with their siblings to want to always be with them THAT WAY?#that's weird...#just kiya's thoughts#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro tsumiki#tsumiki fushiguro
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It turns out that I never research because it makes me think the details are the point instead of the story.
The story is the point! It doesn't matter if I don't have an entire world with all its history and cultural and political customs realistically fleshed out! Focus on the story and fill in the details later!
#adventures in writing#shadowstruck#sooo...yeah#shadowstruck not doing the greatest#because i decided to read slave narratives to get background for what cultures are like#where some humans are not considered people#and first off it's even worse than you'd think#(you'd think you know right? we know the horrors. but the banal details of daily life make it worse)#but also enslavement non-personhood doesn't always quite map to medical non-personhood#and i'm not sure if the two fit together in a coherent way in thus world#and also now it's got me thinking#'clearly i can't write this because i haven't figured out centuries of history'#'and all the varying philosophies that have shaped the current political and social zeitgeist'#'and the entire history of the abolition movement'#and that is stupid because it's supposed to be the story of one girl who gets swept up in political controversy#and about whether she can have a life or a family again#i really need to try to pare this down to a family narrative as much as possible#rather than aiming for intricate political drama#it can be exciting and emotional! stop trying to be clever and dull!
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My Tumblr followers. If and when you see this. Just don't look at twitter man
This year is cooked
Sorry for the vent but omg this year man THIS YEAR UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (read tags for context)
#2024 is done#worst year of my life#shitpost#kagevt#Hes coming back after his dramatic af graduation because he's a shit person because 3 months suddenly makes you a better person. Rent due?#People are beefing over whether fat nuggets or waddles is the better pig and saying hazbin copied gravity falls#Bc if we're talking cartoon pigs then 2007 spider pig Simpsons did it way before gravity fall so bad argument their#gravity falls#The dream smp members are being haunted by the ghost of their admins infection rate#Which is to say every dsmp member is gonna take a huge L this year and it's Eret's and Niki's turn currently#eret#niki niachu#AND ALL THE GOOD ANIMES IS ENDING SO I LITERALLY DON'T HAVE A DISTRACTION#AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON MR BEAST OML#vent post#vent#Eret and Ava Tyson were dating??? And Eret doesn't believe that she'd be “capable” of some of the bad thing she did WHEN ITS ALL PUBLIC INFO#mr beast#He sending out more lawsuits then batman has dollar bills#People are pressuring other people to join Mcc rising even though the team comp is literally too toxic got them#mcyt#Like if they don't want to play then don't make them play simple as. But NOOOOOOOOOO we gotta send disgusting shit and for what??#Have some dignity#I swear if another thing happens this year I'm throwing the YouTube and Twitter files into a nuclear bomb aimed at my brain bc I can't#And all that's on my mind is that if Technoblade could have seen the shit people are doing he'd be disappointed#I feel bad knowing he passed away without knowing the truth but I hope he's happy with what he did have#And my mental health is tanking#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#chat i'm cooked
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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The couple next door have a cat but I don't know them and I can't pet the cat :(
#let me give this fine creature that I haven't seen in my life some head scratches#let me pet the cat#I'm sherlock holmes btw because I've managed to deduct that the creature is a cat in the first place#first 'baby' voices (you know. 'aww yoursocute' kinda stuff you only aim to babies or animals or little kids but that was definitely not it#from 'guests' that were coming increasingly more often. random sounds from next door even when both of them were missing#I quickly crossed out 'baby' because 1. she wasn't pregnant before 2. no baby crying#same goes for dog. no barks no nothing#but enough sound to know there was something big enough to be making it. no fish. no birds#so only logical answer? cat. and they do indeed have one#please I love animals let me come inside your house to pet the cat please I'm on my knees#not art#text#also I forgot to mention that the first few days I didn't know what was happening with the sounds I was hearing so like a madman I stayed up#all night till the next morning. waiting for them to leave the house and after they left and the sounds still wouldn't stop#I confirmed that something was in the house
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i HATE you kamala harris i HATE you donald trump i HATE you liberals i HATE you republicans i HATE you america. god bless
#every time i see an american talking about voting democrat on here i lose brain cells#like do what you're going to do but please for the love of god you all sound fucking INSANE#like can you be mindful of the language and rhetoric you're using here. can you PLEASE have some common sense#facetimed an old friend of mine today (who is palestinian) and hearing her perspective on this#and then going on tumblr straight after and seeing american gays on here talking about voting blue#most jarring shit of my life.#you people have never spoken to an actual palestinian person in your life and oh My god. it shows#keeping this vague on purpose because people on here cannot read or think logically#and if you are one of the people this post is aimed at then i Definitely do not trust you to comprehend what i mean here#goodbye i'm going to jack off and write my human remains report suck it lads
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I'm with you in the dark ✧ Happy birthday, Ari!
Axel by ari-cuno
Aim by me <3
all thanks to shinechermont for organizing it! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)☆
#zu art#comic#what if#axel#adult!aim#birthday#undertale#undertale au#utmv#the blush glowing idea is just a headcanon (until Ari says otherwise) I like <3#hopefully you like it too╰(*´︶`*)╯☆#hoo boi they give me so many ideas—#I'm really happy to have you and your sweet boyo in my (and Aim's) life (*´꒳`*)#have a wonderful day!! ♪
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Chapter 1 for Sketches of Freedom and Chapter 7 for These Hollows Halls are (very) hopefully on the way in May!! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
#So sorry about the delay#Life be doing what life does best#Handing you a handful of juggling balls and telling you to juggle....and I have two left hands +#The minute I decide to update like this I start feeling ill again#Like fr Im cursed or something. I keep getting sick the minute I have time to write dsfsdjfsdjfj#They should both hopefully be posted in May. That's what I'm aiming for unless something unexpected happens.#Not sure specific dates but they're cooking. Stay tuned (⸝⸝> ᴗ•⸝⸝)#Sketches of Freedom update 🎪#These Hollow Halls update ☕#𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘 ☽#𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉𝖘 𝖜𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖓 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖘 ✨
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I've done it five times now, but the PotD Floor 100 boss will always scare me when running my solo MCH runs.
#It's not the big guy I'm afraid of#It's his army of nine trillion little corpses#And I know I know Resolution Pomander#I do.#But it's still scary#Since that shit has a cast timer#And you have to manually aim it#Manual aim skills always freak me out#And when my life depends on it?#Hoo wee#Luckily though I've got 500 suspots from my time playing#So I can just spam those whenever I start to panic#But MCH still has a kinda low health pool#What with being a Phys Ranged DPS and all#So I have to make quick decisions#It's kind of terrifying
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is it considered being petty when you reciprocate someone's indifference/irresponsibility towards you?
#rin rambles#on one hand i want to choose kindness but#on the other hand i just feel why should i care if these people aren't gonna care yk#at what point does it categorize as being petty and and what point does it count as being respectful towards yourself......#coexisting with humans are so hard#....... wait that makes it sound like i'm not human hsjdjskdhs i swear i'm human-#[edit] not aimed at anyone in particular i'm just dealing with personal life things ;;;;;
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2024 Favorites, by yours truly - part 1. Reading
I didn't read a lot of manga or comics this year, so for the first time, I'm putting all together. The books here are very losely ordered by preference, with the manga just dropping wherever.
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Un amor (Sara Mesa)
This is a book about obsession, about desire, about (not) belonging. I loved every bit of it and honestly felt like Sara Mesa was reading my mind at some points. This is a novel I would have loved to have written. First book I read last year, and also first 5 stars. It has been translated into English, with the same name.
Endurance (Alfred Lansing)
I loved this one, and I am convinced they were able to survive because they were silly about their whole ordeal in their first few months. These guys knew how to have fun, that's all I'll say. It's an incredible adventure and I only wish there was an epilogue to it. Also Lansing apparently made up some stuff but it's ok because he's a good narrator.
Young Mungo (Doublas Stuart)
This book was quite something when it released: I remember seeing it everythwere, specially in LGBT bookstores. I decided to read it because the audiobook (in Spanish) was available in my library and, having come back from a trip to Scotland, I felt like reading a story set there. What I found absolutely broke my heart in many little pieces. It is a beautiful, heartfelt, awfully realistic coming of age story set in working-class 90s Glawgow, full of very, very dark things. That being said, I do think a couple of the darker situations in the book could have been more delicately handled. Please look out the trigger warnings for this one.
Promising young women (Caroline O'Donoghe)
I foudn this on a second hand bookstore and had it sitting on my shelf for years (literally) but I thought it looked funny and decided to read it. Let me tell you: this book made me feel like I was watchign a good friend about to make the absolute worst mistake of her life, like watchinga train wreck in slow motion. It was darkly funny and then it becomes increasingly dark and even a little bit gothic. Absolutely loved this one. It is a coming of age story for your mid-twenties, it deals with obsession, loneliness, sexism and more.
A Camelot Triptych (Norris J. Lacy)
NOW THIS ONE. It's the arthurian retelling I've enjoyed the most so far: its short and sweet, its structure is a work of genius, it has a very limited scope and yet tells such a big story. There are layers to it. It is composed by three short stories, or chapters, the first from Merlin's point of view, second from Guinevere and third by Mordred. Absolutely fantastic. And very difficult to find so take your chance.
The tombs of Atuan (Ursula K. Le Guin)
The slow, beautiful second book of the Earthsea series coulnd't be more different in subject and tone from the first one. And yet it was perfect. Despite being so short, it's dense with symbol, heavy with meaning, and requires some patience to read it. This isn't a great fantary adventure. It is something differnt and yet so compelling, brilliant like great fables can be. This was my favorite thing from the novel (CAREFUL, it has spoilers).
Golden Kamuy (Satoru Noda)
This year I finally finished reading this manga, from volumes 16 to 31. Top 5 manga I've ever read. I love the mix of history, culture & nature, humor, adventure, thriller, and more. I love the characters, I love their design, I miss them already.
The Idylls of the queen (Phyllis Ann Karr)
Another Arthurian retelling, this one is so cleverly constructed, so keen on detail and threads so many things together into a very spcific moment of the story that I can only call it a work of genius. Want to see Sir Kay as a detective? Look no further! Ms. Karr really wrote one of my favorite Kays, one of my favorite Morgans and one of my favorite Mordreds and I can only say THANK YOU.
The indifferent Stars above (Daniel James Brown)
Lovely book about a not very lovely story. Earlier in the year I had read a novel called The hunger which overall I liked but felt very lukewarm about the addition of a supernatural element to a story that in real life was extremely compelling but also absolutely horrifying on it's own right. This books follows one of the party members closely and narrates every (mis)step of the doomed Donner Party. Truly beautifully written.
The winter king (Bernard Cornwell)
Third and final arthurian retelling on the list. I was very hesitant about adding it here because I thoroughly enjoyed the first book but not so much the sequels, though I still like them and how the story progressess (I still have a couple hundred pages left of Excalibur, the third and final book so let's see how that goes). Basically this is grimdark arthuriana, but done well. I love Cornwell's style and Derfel, the narrator, is terribly funny. This is also one of my favorite Arthurs so <3
Special mentions: Cruzamos por el ras de la montaña (Maria de la Cruz), Papa told me vol. 1 (Nanae Haruno), The count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas), Parable of the talents (Octavia E. Butler), Thérèse Raquin (Émile Zola), Yotsuba vol. 5 (Kiyohiko Azuma), The lying life of adults (Elena Ferrante).
#laura reads#what else can i say. I read a few history books that were pretty interesting. For example the fires of lust was cool if you are interested#in medieval undersatandings of sexuality in europe. read some very interesting things like los reyes by julio cortazar or some that#i enjoyed a surprising amount like the absolute tombfoolery that is the romance of tristan#the count of monte cristo should honestly have it's own category because sure. not my favorite book of the year but longest novel i've read#in my entire life so like. the commitment needed. the fun i had. the way i liveblogged it. is it's own thing entirely tbh#most of my favs from this year are pretty freacking bleak lol#also read my first ever not aimed at children novel in french (it was more like a novella but oh well)!!!#i'm proud of that honestly! it was passion simple by annie ernaux
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just got everything i ever wanted. now what
#hurgh#how do i hold this…in both of my hands….#what do i aim for now…#basically i scored a much higher paying role with the title i wanted at a FAANG and i just learned that it’s gonna be fully remote too#i can go anywhere and i can afford it too#and I’ve just been sitting here dumbstruck these past few days like. I’ve wanted this all of my twenties and now it’s here and I don’t even#know where to go next#physically and mentally#like oh…im free…#now what#🥹#my whole life family's controlled where i went and who i saw and what i did and now the cage is open and i'm like...#wait...where do i go...what do i do...#woof
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i am hash tag spiraling
#idk what to do with my life if i'm not in school and i don't know if i'm capable of anything i actually want to do#i'm gonna be officially a college graduate in a few weeks and i don't have a job lined up and i swear i've been rejected from like 500#i used to have such high goals and they've just gotten lower and lower every year#like im applying to master's programs rn but they're competitive as shit and idk if im aiming too high and i'm worried i won't get into any#and i just feel like i've worked so fucking hard and it's not amounting to anything and i'm. fucking scared#shut up hanna
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far enough in the lace section that my golden autumn shawl actually looks like something
#sort of regretting not using more visible beads but it was hard finding something i really liked with this yarn#now im wondering if i should try a niebling doily next. the answer is no bc i should aim to knit something i can use ever#& not make choices that encourage me to buy even more $40 skeins of pure silk rather than using the many extremely nice yarns i have#but i do enjoy knitting mildly elaborate lace and feeling smug.#box opener#knitting#i'm using dyeforyarn laceweight tussah silk and it is SO nice i'm really loving it. was worried it'd be splitty but so far not much#very soft very pleasant fabric. this thing will probably come out kind of small given that i'm down to like 3mms to get a fabric i like#but if i wear it it'll be as a scarf anyway. and it's sooo soft so who cares.#look at that fun honeycombed lace netting between the floral motifs. what more can a man want in life
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Hi! Hi. Guess who's in. Love y'all.
#So I guess I am allowed to post about the plurality without Gail deleting it now#I wish that was a good thing#Anyhow; we've been carouseling!#Gail can't keep a grip on the front for the life of him#Usual state of affairs recently is that he fronts most of the time#And me and Fenn cofront with him periodically#Sometimes we front without him for a bit but not for as long as he can go without us#Frankly Gail's blessed existence is the only reason why we got HoR as polished and published as it is#(I don't think SP is going out on time gang; let's aim for May 2026 should our world not collapse by then)#Current state of affairs is that I'M in charge mostly and fuck damn I don't want it#I want the guy who gets stuff done in or at least the guy who likes to be here#Fenn is not able to make firm grabby hands for the front either which is not usual he's the second most common guy in#And ALABASTER has been showing up#Which happens once in a very blue moon#She's a sweet kid nowadays but how do I address this delicately#I don't want her to have to deal with this because her traditional answer to stress is “what if we stopped existing”#And I want to say that i'm not tempted by her old default solution but FUCK#Don't worry#We will be fine#I just needed to bitch about it a little bit#I'll make it fine#Please help me I'm the “fight or flight” part of us leaning mostly on “fight”#I don't have the necessary skills to outpace slow tigers#Don't haul me out until an actual apocalypse happens
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i wonder how many people would stop bitching about the writing for this show if they could've binged it all and had at least one scene per episode where someone stated everything explicitly like that one scene w/ satan in futurama
#pay no attention to the man behind the curtain / ooc.#i aim to never be petty on main but i'm letting myself have this one season 2 finale day. i'm sorry but i'm a firm hotd enjoyer.#i see so many dogshit and like willfully uncharitable takes across the web it's WILD#like the way people will bitch about it not being verbatim from a FAKE MEDIEVAL TEXTBOOK#or claim something is 'bad writing' bc they don't like it. or it's 'filler' bc it's slow.#is a pacing in this show just ???? yeah kinda lol but jfc.... get your head out of your ass#'why is alicent camping? that's so stupid' idk man she just lost all control of her life for the SECOND time#and they're ALREADY TALKING ABOUT WHORING HER OUT AGAIN. WHY WOULD SHE STAY? THEY DID A REFERENCE TO THE FAMOUS DROWNED OPHELIA PAINTING#WHAT TO DO YOU THINK SHE MIGHT'VE BEEN CONSIDERING????#'daemon would never betray rhaenyra!!!' YOU'RE TAKING DAEMON TARGARYEN AT HIS WORD?? WHILE THE GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS ARE READING HIM TO FILTH#daemon has CLAIMED he wanted things like the crown/total authority but REALLY he wanted his brother. he wanted acceptance.#WE'VE SEEN HOW SHIT HE IS AT RULING. HE HATES DOING THAT SHIT!!! HE DOES NOT WANT THE CROWN!!!! IT'S A SYMBOL!!!#'why is alys giving him these dreams?' SHE'S NOT !!! SHE LITERALLY SAID HIS FUCKING BED IS MADE OF WEIRWOOD DID YOU FUCKING MISS THAT?????#okay okay i'm gonna stop i'm stopping.....#i just think that people are still bitter about how got ended or have lost the media literacy for a weekly show#bc i genuinely see more dogshit takes about why the show is bad then i do like.... legit criticism which like... DOES EXIST KLJFDGSLK#negative cw
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