#what the FUCK was that dagger for except for being a stupid plot point

[hellamorte]

ok but. does anyone have any thoughts about the purpose of creating the fake lyrium dagger rather than tricking solas with it later (which iirc occurred to them when rook already found their way out of the fade)??? i mean. are they stupid. did they really think they could recreate the dagger that could pierce the veil and set rook free?? it's not like they didn't know how much time it took ghilan'nain and elgar'nan to create their own?? didn't they realize that even if they could manage to make a dagger out of pure lyrium (HOW?!?!??????) it might not work??? because they're not that powerful????

[yabai-korra]

Eris getting some of Nesta's powers and his importance in the future

Y'all I'm 90% sure some of Nesta's power has been transferred to Eris, at first it occurred to me in a sort of "ha, could be" way but I'm pretty certain, hear me out! Also going to touch on the subject of Nesta not losing her powers completely.

The power in the dagger

Nesta Made the dagger and put some of her own power into it, and then Eris got that dagger as a present by Inner Circle, which wasn't really a necessary scene nor plot point unless you read between the lines.

KINGDOM OF ASH SPOILERS AHEAD!

We have seen the exact same thing in Kingdom Ash, Aelin lost all of her power but an ember, but beforehand put it in her sword Goldryn and whooped Maeve's ass, actually head lol, with it. Having power shoot out of her hands and her sword felt pretty much the same so I'm sure Nesta will be equally powerful in the next book! Not only does she have a bit of her power left, three weapons filled with her power, and the Dread Trove. Nesta is still the most powerful character 😎

If Nesta can put some of her power into a weapon, it doesn't seem like a stretch at all for the power in the weapon to get out and into a person.

Eris only pretended to be influenced by Koschei

This one was kinda obvious to me from the moment I read it, no psychoanalyzing needed.

Nesta and her weapons were said to "probably" grant immunity from Koschei's power because they were both Made, and Eris had the dagger while he when he was captured.

Every person that has been possessed by Koschei has been said to have glassy eyes, EVERYONE except Eris!

Eris's soldiers had glassy eyes.

Bellius had glassy eyes.

Cassian had glassy eyes.

Eris is the only "possessed" person to get "accidentally" caught.

Eri's soldiers said nothing, and it was Briallyn who reveal that Bellius and Cassian were possessed.

Out of Cassian, Bellius, Eris, and his soldiers, Eris is undoubtedly the slickest and most cunning one. Comparison between him and Cassian has been dragged throughout the whole book, while Cassin is the muscle, Eris plays mind games and politics.

ERIS IS THE MASTER AT WORD GAMES! How did Cass and Az realize he was possessed and therefore Koschei being there? THROUGH ERIS USING A WORD GAME he knew only Cass and Az will pick up on.

Are y'all trying to tell me that Eris, who supposedly had immunity from the Koschei's power, didn't show the only sign of being possessed which is glassy eyes, had accidentally said something that will let Cass and Az know he's "possessed"?

Golden flames

The word "flame" has been used in 4 different contexts throughout the book

a) actual fire in the fireplace

b) silver flames in Nesta's eyes

c) flames in Lucien's eyes

d) flames in Eris's eyes

We know that Autumn Court's power is fire, both Lucien and Eris were described to have red flames in their eyes, which is completely expected right?

Eris was said to have flame/red flame multiple times, but I'm only allowed ten pics per post, and obviously not gonna put quotes of Nesta's silver flames cause it's literally the title lol.

Then, when Eris was "possessed" and held a dagger to Cassian's chest, it was said that flame rippled from it, and Cass didn't know if it came from the dagger itself or from Eris.

My guess? Both or combined! When Eris received the dagger, he said that it has flame in it, and Eris is said to have had flames in his eyes previously.

Last but not least, AFTER Eris had been "possessed" and AFTER the dagger was returned to the Night Court, ERIS NOT LONGER HAS RED FLAME IN HIS EYES, BUT GOLD.

This was in the penultimate chapter! Aka the chapter before the last. SJM always takes great care to put something important or foreshadowish at the end of each book. The last chapter was obviously Nessian and Archeron sisters, since it was the Nessian book and the three sisters are all finally happy together (plus announcing the next book as Elain's) but chapter before that... about Eris? Interesting.

There was so much about him there I for a second thought the next book is going to be about him lol. So much to unpack in that chapter:

Eris was tortured by his father for information (which I think is the hint for Eris not being possessed).

Eris still insists there are some things about him and Mor that Mor hasn't told the Inner Circle.

He wants to explain something to Mor.

He obviously just wants to be friends with the Inner Circle (but that's a discussion for another post).

Cassian, who hates Eris with burning passion throughout the whole book, says he thinks Eris is a good guy, but is too much of a coward to act like it.

It was hinted that Beron did much worse things to Eris during his life, "The male had been raised with every luxury and privilege - on paper. But who knew what terrors Beron had inflicted upon him? Cassin knew Beron had murdered Lucien's lover. If the High Lord of Autumn had been willing to do that, what wouldn't he do?" If you ever read any SJM serials you would know that this wasn't put here just because, it's always foreshadowing with her.

"Because it doesn't add up. You know what a monster your father is and want to usurp him; you act against him in the best interests of not only the Autumn Court but all of the faerie lands; you risk your life to ally with us... and yet you left her in the woods." - Cassian. Do you see all the material for the future book?

"Eris crossed his arms, then winced. As if whatever injuries lay beneath his immaculate clothes ached." I THINK THIS IS A DESCRIPTION OF NOT ONLY ERIS'S CURRENT SITUATION, BUT HIS WHOLE LIFE. As Cass said, born in luxury, raised by a monster.

Eris is generally very fucked up? Not only was it in this last chapter, but it was stated multiple times that his upbringing really damaged him. When Cassian was surprised by the fact Beron tortured him, Eris responded with: "Get that pitying look off your face. I know what sort of creature my father is. I don't need your sympathy." That is an extremely fucked up way to respond to being tortured by one's father, and implicates he was subjected to similar misery earlier in his life.

"Nesta could see he didn't believe them - that he was so used to twisted politics and scheming of his court that even when the simple, easy truth was offered, he could not see it." Again, very messed up mindset, which in the author's language means writing material.

The last line said to Eris in the book is: "Eris was still their ally. Was willing to be tortured to keep their secrets. And Cassian didn't need to be a courtier to know his next words would slice deep, but it would be a necessary wound. Perhaps it would be enough to push him in the right direction. "You know, Eris, I think you might be a decent male, deep down, trapped in a horrible situation." He looked over his shoulder to find Eris's gaze blazing again. But only pity stirred in his chest, pity for a male who has been born into riches, but had been destitute in every way that truly mattered. In every way Cassian had been blessed - blessings that were now overflowing. So Cassian said; "I grew up surrounded by monsters. I've spent my existence fighting them. And I see you, Eris. You're not one of them. Not even close. I think you might even be a good male. You're just too much of a coward to act like it." This was said by Cassian, whom Eris insulted every time they interacted, who hurt his sister, who wanted to steal his mate, whom Cassian said he wanted to kill or leave to die on so so many occasions, who made Cassian feel stupid and insecure every chance he had, and yet Cass of all people found it in his big good heart to see the good in Eris and try to push him to be good.

And now, his eyes burn with golden flames.

There is so so much to unpack and reveal about Eris's character, and SJM couldn't be more obvious with pointing it out. He is definitely going to play a huge role in the next book(s). With his possible new powers, overthrowing Beron, healing from all the emotional and physical trauma inflicted upon him, revealing a lot of secrets he's been keeping, and finding a way to show his true colors.

Also I think Nesta might be the one to help him with it because she at some point says that she deserves to marry him because "she is just like him", and not only in a way that they both insulted Cassian. They both had/had demanding parents which made them cold and unfeeling, preferring to appear as assholes because they don't want and don't know how to be their true kind selves. I think she would a great friend and the best person to help him deal with everything.

And the way Eris obviously likes her which we've seen when they were dancing. How he saw that she really liked spinning around so he went out of his way to spin her on multiple occasions even though it wasn't in the dance protocol. I'm pretty sure that was his way of getting closer to her because he obviously can't do it with words.

[ajaxwrites]

Genshin Impact Fanfic Rec List

(because this is my most current obsession~~)

The Narwhal of Dihua Marsh by GreyLiliy

Childe hears of a strong Adeptus living at the Wangshu Inn. Despite warnings from Zhongli that fighting Xiao would be a deathly mistake, Childe seeks out the Adeptus living in the Dihua Marsh eager for a proper fight.

However, Childe severely underestimates his opponent, and the consequences of his actions may keep him from returning home to Snezhnaya.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This fic is interesting primarily because it's not necessarily what you would call an easy story to read. The content can surprisingly get quite heavy as the relationship between Childe and Zhongli isn't healthy and it becomes increasingly obvious as the story progresses. You swing between wanting to separate the two and also desperately wishing that they'll work out because there is something there. The story snowballs from what seems like an innocuous, if stupid and rash, decision on Childe's part to a complicated mess that you can’t help but be enthralled in. I went in expecting your typical romance and ended up in something that was more complex than I expected but also beautifully thought provoking.

Entirely Out of Spite by Bgtea

"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”

Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very, very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.

Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the shitty, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?

Fuck that noise. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.

And so begins one man's journey to unfuck himself.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Whenever this updates, I squeal. If you’re a fan of The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System or just transmigration/reincarnation plots in general, you’re going to love it. Bgtea does a beautiful job in balancing humor with the trauma that comes with the whole reincarnation plotline. The whole of it is beautiful written and watching Childe/Ajax interact with the other characters (and the perspective of those characters) is a delight! 

the sister by glassdrachma

The tragic and unexpected death of Zhongli-xiansheng of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor occurred to the sorrow of many and the deep skepticism of a few.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: glassdrachma has a gift for humor and romance. In short, Zhongli fakes his death for plot reasons and comes back as Jianlao, the bereaved twin sister. Shenanigans ensue, featuring overprotective Liyue-ians (?), chaotic gremlin Venti, and Kexing. Very light hearted, good for the soul.

The White Cicada Society by clementinesgulag

After his little brother is bundled back to Snezhnaya, Childe makes good on his promise to the traveller and takes the first boat out of Liyue Harbor. Any sense of homecoming lasts about as long as an uncooked steak in front of Xiangling, however, when his boat sinks, grounding him back in the mainland.

It's just as well, because the next morning, a body is found in the Northland Bank. A visit from a fellow Harbinger reveals a far more insidious plot than anything Childe could concoct with a god of the vortex and twenty minutes without supervision. The murders aren’t limited to the one Bank. They’ve been trailing down the Liyue border, getting closer and closer to the city. The Tsaritsa has a new mission for him: to figure out who, or what is targeting Fatui forces.

Against his best wishes, Childe is forced to see Zhongli again at the morgue. It becomes clear that he’s going to need a guide, and Childe resolves to quash his pride, and their differences to request his help to navigate Liyue and solve the case.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: A diamond in the rough that I slept on and then stumbled back to by accident. I had it marked for later on AO3 and forgot about it for like a good week to my utter self-disgust. It. Is. So. Damn. Good! The mystery is intriguing but I live for the realistic portrayal of the aftermath of the whole gnosis plotline. The betrayal, the bitterness, but ah, the sexual tension. The harbinger interactions in this fic make it gold though.

Lungs full of Roses by SecretlyACatLady

Childe had always assumed that he would die young. He had accepted that a long time ago, ever since he accepted the mantle of a Fatui Harbinger. However, he always thought that he would die in a glorious fight, his body broken but spirit relishing the strong opponent that had bested him. He was okay with that type of death.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Fate had decided to add one last insult to injury, because, here Childe was, dying because he had fallen in love with the ex-Geo Archon. The same Archon who seemed to have discarded him like an old toy ever since the Osial Incident. --- In which divine beings are cruel and a cursed Childe starts preparing for his inevitable death because no Archon could ever love a mortal.

…Right?

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The fic that started it all for me, the one that sucked me into the fandom. This fic is heartbreaking. We always do love a hanahaki plotline but something about the way it frames the disease and the shame that comes with it...I highly recommend giving it a read. The angst is real I tell you.

The Bride of The Golden Dragon by Erika_Bee

“You’re to be sent on a special mission, Tartaglia.”

The young man’s eyes gleamed in interest. “How special?” He asked as he wiped the blood off his daggers.

His superior grinned. “Special enough to put your name in Snezhnaya’s history books.”

—

In which the Archon War ravaged the land of Liyue and to ensure the people’s survival, the God of Geo established the Harvester Contract: One bride per village, every year, in exchange for protection and a good harvest.

Or: Childe is sent on an undercover mission to kill the Geo Archon, but things don’t go as planned.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Don’t let the title scare you off--this isn’t one of those fics where they feminize one of the male characters and reduce their personality to a mindless submissive bobblehead to the point that I want to throw my laptop out of the window. Not that there’s anything wrong if you like that kind of thing, just not my cup of tea. This fic though---READ IT! There’s just something refreshing about the writing and the plot, the way that Childe’s character reads off the page. I live for the interactions between the characters and how the author has mapped the relationships. Warning that recent chapters have swerved decided into NSFW territory though.

the brothers grim by izabellwit

Left in an unfamiliar land with a mission he never wanted, a young Kaeya lies, survives, and somehow finds a family in the process.

Or: How Kaeya came to Dawn Winery, and why he left it. Includes lore, sibling bickering, found family struggles, and a more in-depth look at the years between Kaeya’s arrival and Crepus’s death.

Ships: N/A

Notes: Ahh, little Kaeya. Cheeky ass little shit that’s too angsty and adorable for his own good. I don’t have words for this fic. It makes my heart warm but also makes me want to weep because god, this fic covers exactly how traumatic Kaeya’s situation is and why child soldiers/spies just shouldn’t be. And the dynamic he has with Diluc and Crepus--do me a favor and read it. Screams found family.

the wind through the mountain tops by glassdrachma

Boredom brings Barbatos of Mondstadt to bother a certain ex-Archon of the Earth.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: A light-hearted, humorous and fluffy as hell piece. Short word is that Venti comes to Liyue for some fun, causes chaos, accidentally plays matchmaker, and steals some vegetables. A get-together fic for Childe and Zhongli that includes a surprisingly self-aware (if blunt and snarky) Zhongli and jealous Childe that gets increasingly flustered.

melt (speak or forever hold your peace) by anatakana

Falling into bed with Diluc was an unbelievably bad idea given their tumultuous shared history, but Kaeya’s impulsive urge to amuse himself knew no bounds.

It’s all fun and games until emotions got involved.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: THIS IS NSFW. With plot though? This is THE FIC that got me shipping the two (though the game did a good job on its own). The angst is real here and we love the sheer gal of both of these two stupid men.

Cascading (In a good way) by Hubbleablubble

Kaeya is a fascinating annoyance.

(Or: A series of events in which Albedo gets to know Kaeya, and they slowly go from strangers to acquaintances to something more.)

Ships: Albedo/Kaeya

Notes: Sweet fic. Not my typical ship pairing. Loved the Khaenri’ah mentions. Kaeya is Trans FTM here though it’s only briefly mentioned. There is also an incomplete sequel (as of May 2021) featuring an Overprotective Big Brother Diluc on a warpath giving shovel talks to everyone except apparently Albedo that’s also worth reading.

The Language of Flowers by Jules (Penwyn)

Kaeya Alberich has made a habit of lying—after all, the only truths he’s ever spoken cost him everything—but there are only so many lies a man can tell before the truth comes spilling out.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Hanahaki! Except not! Basically, Kaeya pukes up flowers that say the truth whenever he lies. Cue, angst! Lovely and quick read--love Kaeya’s voice here.

i know i'm where i'm meant to go by paperclips (pastel_paperclips)

"Childe," Zhongli says suddenly. "I am enjoying myself greatly."

Childe’s face breaks into a grin. "Then-"

Zhongli gasps, grabbing his wrist and tugging him over to an unsuspecting peddler with a cart full of rocks. "Is that an intrusive igneous pegmatite formed in the Inazuma regions?"

Childe’s grin smooths into a small, adoring smile. He has all the time in the world to figure the other man out.

OR: Finding the Geo Archon is on Childe's to-do list but hanging out with Zhongli is significantly more fun.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Childe, you idiot. Humorous and funny, very light hearted. Makes you wonder if Childe has an IQ. He’s too busy pining/lovesick to realize that he told his target that he’s going to kill him for his gnosis. Zhongli and Liyue remain confused on how Childe still DOES NOT get it but half-ass hiding his Archon status anyway.

the bird without wings by Anonymous

"Kaeya!" someone yells. Small arms wrap around his waist tightly, red hair spilling out of the ponytail, and Kaeya's heart almost stops.

He's talked his way out of all types of situations. From placating international disputes to buttering up his informants, he's always had a quick response to everything.

But for once, Kaeya is speechless. He stares down at the boy with puffy cheeks, slightly crooked teeth and sparkling bright eyes.

Eight year old Diluc beams back.

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Diluc gets de-aged and Kaeya gets angsty. The interactions between the two are heartwarming and will induce tears. Childe makes a brief appearence that *chef’s kiss*

call me "lover boy" by Anonymous

Zhongli turns back, eyes bright with amusement, a stray lilypad still stuck in his hair, and Childe thinks, wow. I want to kiss him stupid.

Childe's not into the whole "swooning maiden patiently waiting for his beloved to swoop down and smooch the daylights out of him" thing. Nah, that's not his style. He's Tartaglia, eleventh of the Fatui harbingers, and he's going to kiss Zhongli right now.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: FUNNY AS HELL. Childe is straight up just trying to plant one on Zhongli but fate and people just keep interfering. It’s a weird trope aversion where the character is actively trying to confess rather than avoiding it but life gets in the way. 

springtime in snezh-nya-ya by miaomaomei

Tartaglia’s body moves before he can even think about it. He arches his back and flattens his ears against his head, baring his teeth in a hiss. Considering he barely even reaches Scaramouche's knees — Scaramouche, of all people! The guy is practically the size of a fourteen-year-old — he doubts that he is cutting as imposing a figure as he hopes.

It isn't a surprise, though. No one could become a Fatui Harbinger if they were scared of a little cat.

OR

Tartaglia is turned into a cat and he goes to Zhongli for help. It goes about as well as expected.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS. This is just pure fluff I swear. Love how Childe is written and the interactions between the two are just ahhhh. A balm on the soul.

Melt by tanktrilby

“My name is Diluc,” he says. A scowl naturally furrows his brow, and Kaeya looks like he wants to laugh.

He’s looking at him through his lashes again, blue eyes teasing and warm. “Diluc,” he says. “A knight in overalls isn’t quite where I thought my preferences would lie, but here we are.”

(or: Kaeya loses his memories and makes some assumptions. Diluc can't honestly tell him that he's wrong.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: As the summary says, Kaeya loses his memories. Diluc plays babysitter for plot reasons. Meanwhile, Kaeya freaks out and has an essential crisis because his instincts freak him out which = angst. Simultaneously, sort of love confessions? 

you are cordially invited by ktenologious

When the Traveler receives a mysterious invitation from a Snezhnayan businessman, they seek out help from the only Snezhnayan they are on good terms with. They decide it is a wonderful idea to go to this business party in the middle of the ocean because, well, what could be better entertainment than watching a Fatui Harbinger at work? It is too bad Childe couldn't come with them...

Meanwhile, the Tsaritsa needs someone to track down the source of a brand new drug at a party on a cruise; it just so happens that she has two Harbingers who specialize in causing chaos and sinking ships. Scaramouche is a sadist and loves this, and Tartaglia... Well, Tartaglia just wants to know why is he the one in the dress again.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, sort of Diluc/Kaeya & Scaramouche/Childe

Notes: Features a crossdressing Childe and Kaeya for plot reasons. Funny as hell. Love Fatui dynamics/interactions. Highly recommend. Go read it. I’m serious. It’s so beautiful, I can’t. Also Zhongli is so love-sick and jealous, it’s hilarious.

The Road to Snezhnaya by paranoid_fridge

Everything's done and over. Now, Zhongli only needs to adjust to living like an ordinary mortal. Or that is what he thinks until a familiar face shows up in Liyue. Teucer comes looking for his brother who failed to return to Snezhnaya on the Fatui ships. And as Childe's declared "friend", Zhongli must help Teucer find him.

Or: Teucer drags Zhongli on a cross-country goose chase looking for Childe. Zhongli just happens to find a bit more along the way.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: I have no words for this fic outside of the fact that it is clear that Teucer has the only functioning brain and should be Best Man because he obviously did all the work here. Features an oblivious Childe and overprotective Zhongli, plus bystander Kaeya that is getting allll of the gossip. And also the most destructive group of children ever.

basket of knives by oronine

“I just want to be loved,” Childe says to himself, to whoever is listening. “Is that too much to ask?”

They are on the roof once more, this time Childe’s foot touches the edge of the building as he daydreams of something that cannot be. The sky is blank and cloudy and perhaps Lumine fears it’ll all end when he takes a step.

“Not at all,” she says. It’s still the truth.

Contrary to popular belief, Childe hates his family but loves them all the same.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: TW for suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, self-harm, depression, etc. Not a light read by any definition. Set in a modern AU, not in the genshin impact universe. Features a Childe that is Not Okay, good friend but also probably traumatized friend Lumine (and her brother Aether), and Zhongli. Family dynamic is messed up as hell and explores mental health quite well in my opinion. I’m not sure how healthy necessarily Childe’s relationships are but I think that’s a given considering the context and how derailed his mental health is in this fic. Definitely angst as heavy, made me tear up quite a bit. Read, but pay attention to the content/trigger warnings as it does get quite explicit.

Bane of All Evil by tzitzimeme

When Chongyun unintentionally offends Liyue's second most powerful adepti, he vows to mend the thorny relationship between Adeptus Xiao and human exorcists-- even though no one has succeeded in currying Xiao's favor for over a thousand years.

His best friend Xingqiu offers to come alone, mainly because he's worried about what kind of trouble Chongyun will run into. Along the way, they receive help from others: Xiangling packs them meals for their journeys, while Zhongli gives them advice on what demons to track.

Childe is just there because he thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

Ships: Chongyun/Xinqiu

Notes: JFKLFJS I LOVE THIS. I love Chongyun���s characterization and the interaction between all the characters. The dynamic between Chongyun, Xingqiu, and Xiangling are to die for. Also, this line: “Stuck-up Persnickety Bastard.” Random note but Xiao throws Chongyun off a balcony yet is also 100% a softie.

Talks about Nothing by tzitzimeme

In which Zhongli unlocks the Memory of Dust, only to find out:

1. Guizhong is 100% alive (just disembodied) within it, 2. Guizhong has been watching over him this whole time, and 3. Guizhong is very excited by the prospect of Zhongli getting a cute Snezhnayan boyfriend.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, Venti/Xiao

Notes: The pure judgment that Guizhong unleashes on Zhongli (as well as her sass in general) is pure comedic gold. The dynamic between Xiao and Venti are also adorable. Meanwhile, Childe misunderstands and also just wants to know what the fuck is going on.

xi wangmu by tzitzimeme

Xiangling scales entire mountains to satisfy the palettes of her two pickiest customers.

(Or, two men who are emotionally stunted by their own immortality inadvertantly turn an overly enthusiastic chef into their messenger pigeon.)

Ships: Zhongli/Xiao (?)

Notes: Not sure if it reads romantic exactly, can definitely be read as platonic. The fic boils down to Xiangling trying to expose Xiao to variety because just eating plain almond tofu is a no no. Zhongli gives advice/uses Xiangling as a messenger pigeon. Backstory is explored!

Falling (Fallen) by asinglecrow

It’s only when Childe finds himself in front of Zhongli, a spear protruding from his stomach, that he thinks oh I might have fucked up.

Or: The worst (best) day of Childe's life.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Funny and lighthearted! Gets sort of NSFW with passing mention of mpreg but otherwise, it’s just pure humor/fluff. Get-together fic featuring deadpan dragon Zhongli and Childe that is just done with everything. 

the louvre by morisuke

Here in Liyue, the air is filled with the ocean, and the sun shines through the mountains like it’s flowing through a crack in the sky. Here in Liyue, there is a man with no wallet at a vending machine that is going to waste the rest of his day showing a stranger around their school campus for a pocket sized can of iced coffee.

It’s interesting here in Liyue, Childe thinks.

or

Where Childe flirts with a stranger at a campus vending machine.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Set in a modern/college AU. This is a relatively quiet, soft kind of story. Childe comes to Liyue because reasons and falls in love quietly. It’s more of a snippet of life type of fic that’s sweet and peaceful. Love the change that comes over Childe as he finds a home.

[mnemehoshiko]

STAR WARS INTO DARKNESS

A (Salt) Review of Star Wars Episode 9: The Rise of Skywalker.

Warning 1: All opinions are mine and no one (sadly) paid me for them.

Warning 2: I’m going to strive to be charitable as possible. Keyword, STRIVE.

It finally came. The conclusion to the Skywalker Saga, a nine film series starting with Shmi Skywalker and her lineage. 

When we left the The Last Jedi; Finn was tenderly checking up on Rose who endangered her life to save him. Steadily finding his place in the Resistance and deciding that it was a cause worth fighting for. Ben Solo, also known to the galaxy as Kylo Ren, has just killed his life long abuser but failed to relinquish himself from the ties of the past. Rey was dealing with detaching herself from the idea that she needed to Be Someone in Order to Do Something only to realise that she, a nobody, was good enough. As Leia Organa said, we have all we need.

Cool right?

Yeah, just forget that movie. Actually, just forget like any development that occurred over the last two movies. Furthermore, turn your brain off. No, really please remove any kind of higher cognitive function and any knowledge of Star Wars beyond “pew, pew, pew” and “wOOO”. That’s literally the only way to truly enjoy this film.

This movie is a quest. A long big-budget multi-step fetch quest. Fetch quests are a common part of RPGs and can be enjoyable! Add to the narrative! Interactive. A movie that is nothing but fetch quest after fetch quest to the point that honestly, the first two thirds of the movie could have been dropped because it was so distressingly nonsensical. 

Loose summary; 

Ben Solo is on a planet. Being very very lorge and murking people left and right. Why? Because reasons. That this planet happens to be Mustafar and that he’s killing Vader Cultists evidently is not considered relevant. Even though Ben Solo introduction in TFA, which JJ wrote (with the assistance of Kasdan and Arndt), is basically as Vader’s #1 fanboy. But who cares about narrative information when you have sweet sweet red lighting and like a flight scene.

Anyway, Ben heads to Exegol because evidently that’s where the fancy schmancy totally Not A Holocron is directing him towards. In which he approaches some goth-esque temple with vats of Snokes. Yes, You Heard Correctly, Vats of Snokes. And Palpatine. Who’s just hanging on a crane. Just chillin’ and gleefully tells Ben Solo that he’s been every voice in his head since birth. So learning your abuser is still alive is totally dope. But hey, PALPATINE IS BACK! REMEMBER PALPATINE? ISN’T THAT COOL, yells JJ Terrio desperately trying to like Hype You Up And Remind You Of The Star Wars of Their Childhood.

Finn and Poe “I Have Literally No Purpose To Any of This Narrative and JJ Terrio is About to Fuck Over My Backstory” Dameron are getting data from a contact. For some reason a glorified dick-shaped Alien is there. Consequently, this is the same alien that replaced Rose Tico on merchandise. A reasonable person with minimal brain function would assume it’s because he plays a critical role in the plot.  Remember what I said about thinking? Stop it. Klaud is there primarily for you to admire that JJ’s tentacle kink is Alive and Well and Thus Everything Is True (tm) Star Wars Again. 

Rey is floating surrounded by rocks because That’s What Cool Jedi Do. Then she does a training course because after two films we have absolutely no proof that she has any fight training, according to Reddit and like JJ Terrio is trying to get Reddit to go to the Star Wars Prom with them. So, we need a training montage and Rey going to robo-Leia and saying that she will “earn [Leia’s] brother’s saber”. Why would she want to earn a grumpy curmudgeon who fucked over his only nephew and hid from his twin sister for years? Well, JJ Terrio dreamed of earning Luke’s saber and like what is the purpose of writing other than Wish Fulfillment.

Palpatine is back! Why? We don’t know and we don’t even know what he said because evidently it was decided that it belonged in Fortnite...instead of the film. Why? Here’s a lollipop and a pew pew to stop thinking sweetie. Either way he’s on Exegol and Rey saw notes scribbled in the margins that you need a Sith Holocro-- I mean ~Sith Wayfinder~ --because JJ has never seen Star Wars since he saw it in the theaters in 1983-- to get there. Which is on Pasaana.

WHICH IS HAVING SPACE BURNING MAN RIGHT NOW! (which happens every forty two years. Which is how long ago Star Wars Episode 4 Premiered. Remember fans! Isn’t that a Cool Thing To Drop? says JJ Terrio deftly skimming Reddit in order to gain fanbros love and affection and nostalgia boners.) LOOK AT ALL THE ALIENS DOING THE SPACE MACARENA! Because WOO DON’T YOU LOVE PARTY SCENES?

The force bond shows up and you can some how transfer stuff between the bond? Which like in the hands of another writer would be fascinating and engaging. Sadly, this is a JJ Terrio production and nuanced storytelling and dialogue is Fake and Not Star Wars.

Either way, Ben knows that they’re there and they are running from stormtroopers RIGHT INTO LANDO CALRISSIAN,-- remember him? goes JJ Terrio. You remember Lando right?. I do, I go. I’ve seen the movies and you’ve given no reason why Finn and Rey would know who the fuck he is seeing how he’s evidently been living as a hermit In The Same Outfit for over a decade. (BUT REMEMBER HIM, whines J.J. Terrio. Yes, I do. I SAW THE FUCKING OT JJ).

Anyway, more exposition occurs because JJ Terrio has no understanding how visual language works and it detracts from Real Star Wars Things Like - Space Chases - Pew Pew - Witty quips! because Witty quips! Are Important for A Star Wars, says JJ Terrio.

Nevermind that stormtroopers could fly since the Clone Wars and there’s literally no reason as to why Finn would not know this but like that would require you to give him

- a character arc - character growth - dialogue beyond “WOOOOO” and “REYYYYYY” (also side notes; it was depressing as fuck seeing Finn’s growth in TLJ to going beyond being Rey-centric to only spend the entire movie yelling a White Lady’s Name. I GO TO THE THEATRE TO NOT SEE REALITY, JJ.)

JJ Terrio: BUT HE’S FORCE SENSITIVE?? me, who’s been on the Finn is Force Sensitive Train since TFA: AND YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH IT AND IMPLIED THAT IT WAS ONLY REASON HE WAS ABLE TO FIGHT THE STORMTROOPER PROGRAMMING??? (i.e. this is really fucking gross eugenics shit pls stop JJ Terrio and like just stop)

*deep breath*

ANYWAY, where was I? Oh yeah, Star Wars Into Darkness.

Either way, they find the Subtle Knife a Sith dagger? Along with force healing foreshadowing. But they have a dagger! Which They Can’t Read! But Threepio can! But He Can’t Say It Out Loud Because His Programming Forbids It.

And then the KoR, the galatic boy band, and Ben show up because of course. And they capture Chewie and put him on a transport.

Rey, of course, reaches out to Stop The Transport.

Ben, tries to stop her.

They to a back and forth that is similar to TLJ without any of the emotional build up of TLJ but that’s because JJ Terrio believes Emotions Are Not Star Wars.

And she lets loose LIGHTNING and makes the transport blow up and she believes Chewie is dead. Problem: Chewie isn’t dead. Which means she would be able to sense him in the Force. “But Mneme”, you say, “the Force isn’t like a GPS where you just Sense People.” That’s fair! Except....then...she does...when she’s on the Snow Planet. So like???

Either way, we have a Dagger that We Need to Read That Threepio Can’t Say Out Loud.

A Solution That Uses Braincells: well we know that the Millenium Falcon has three droid brains! So like we could just hook up Threepio to like the Falcon and transmit the codes and get some really great Easter eggs re: the Falcon and like the setup of the ship! 

....

JJ Terrio: OR WE COULD GO TO THIS SNOW PLANET me: wha-- JJ Terrio: SNOW PLANET WHERE POE DAMERON RAN SPICE me: did you just make....your Only Latino Character Into A---Drug Runner JJ Terrio: REMEMBER HAN SOLO?? HE’S JUST LIKE HIM!!! me: pls stawp pls, I’m begging you stawp JJ Terrio: ALSO LOOK AT HIM FLIRTING WITH A GIRL SO HE’S LIKE OBVIOUSLY STRAIGHT me: bi....people.....exist...like...that is...a thing JJ TERRIO: ALSO WE’LL SHOW U HER EYES TO SHOW THAT SHE’S HUMAN AND NOT A WEIRD ALIEN BECAUSE POE DAMERON IS A RED BLOODED AMERICAN LIKE REDDIT  me: pls....stop...why....

anyway, he needs a memory wipe in order for it. Which is a really touching scene....or would have been if it wasn’t immediately retconned because like R2 has backups. So like whoo.

So that’s like *two* instances of fakeout death because like Nothing Is Of Consequence Because Star Wars.

Except Leia dying because fuck moms, say JJ Terrio. Moms are Not Star Wars. The Reddit bros have now started to return their text messages.

More busy stuff happens. Hux dies. I wasn’t able to thoroughly enjoy it because by this point I had A Headache from all the Pew Pew and Wooooo~~.

Ben tells Rey that like ~her power is Palpatines power because like How Else Can Rey Be Powerful.” Does this make any sense? Not at all but like Don’t Think Too Hard.

He also finally takes off his stupid helmet that was glued together by ~Sith Alchemy~ that they bought from Space!Michaels.

Rey is vaguely disraught but like She Finally Has A Purpose and the Reddit Bros are Appeased.

More shit happens. Does it matter? Not really.

They meet Jannah! She’s cool and has the exact same backstory as Finn. Because in Star Wars There Are Only (2) Backstories for black characters.  They line up the dagger that is old as fuck with the death star wreckage. Which lines up exactly. Evidently erosion is Not A Thing. 

Finn and Jannah and basically go, Wow Isn’t It Rad That Because We Have The Force We [Finn, Jannah and her crew] Were Able To Reject Brainwashing and Bounce Because We Have The Force.

Rey runs off and Finn yells “REY!!” at some point but at least he knows his best angles while he does it.

Rey meets Dark!Rey who’s a vision....for five seconds. Because Remember if Girls Go Dark They Have Sinned In The Eyes of The Force. Ben shows up and crushes the Holocron because I refuse to call it that stupid-ass name-- dear fucking lord his hand is big--and WELP I GUESS I HAVE THE ONLY ONE.

They fight because We Need A Light Saber Fight Except This One is So Lackluster.

Then Leia reaches out to do something that will use up all her strength says Maz. How does Maz know this? Idk but she’s played by Lupita N’yongo so at least it sounds Deep And Wise because That’s Why You Cast Black People...to sound deep and wise. =_= **deeper breathe**

Anyway, she reaches out to her son! Her son hears her? I think? Either way it distracts him which lets Rey impale him. Except then she heals him?? And is like, I wanted to take your hand, Ben’s hand. which like I’d be fine with if like the movie had like worked for it. But like That Would Involve Actual Conversations Between Characters and We Are Going At 34243242432 pps (parsecs per second) and thus DO NOT HAVE TIme For That.

Ben then has a rehash of the scene from TFA because JJ Terrio is a fucking hack and is unable to create original material and this would have been meaningful if like Any of the Emotions Had Been Earn in The Fucking Film. But hey, I felt .75 of an emotion when Han Solo cradled his cheek so I will accept this. Then he yeets his saber into the ocean. Because. Yeet. Sadly, this movie is Not Over and My Suffering Will Not End

Poe and Finn head back to base with Jannah because I guess that’s what we’re doing? They find out that Leia is dead etc etc etc. The Resistance has a Circle Planning Session for the Final Battle that JJ Terrio lifted straight from ROTJ and the Reddit Bros brought them a corsage for Fanbro Prom. I am reminded that ROTJ was better than this garbage that I Paid Actual Money To Watch. Rey heads to Fish Nun island and decides to pull a Luke Skywalker move even we learned from the Last Movie (TLJ) why that was a Bad Idea but you know WE GET TO SEE LUKE AGAIN IS A GARBAGE WIG BECAUSE REDDIT BROS AMIRITE? We get the most hamfisted performance out of Mark Hamill and I’m just like damn The Last Jedi as a fucking gift and a _Jedi’s weapon is important_ platitude like his dad wasn’t yeeting his saber left and right. But Who Cares About Canon When We Have Pew Pew Pew Pew.

Luke tells her that Yes He And Leia Always Knew She Was A Palpatine which like means - Leia literally did not learn from the Last Time She Obscured Someone’s Parentage and the Fall Out - Actively lied to Rey - Luke actively lied to Rey - jfc this poor girl has been aggressively lied by most of the authority adults in her life??? - HER PARENTS SOLD HER TO PROTECT HER which is such a fucking damning think along with the fact that her parents are idiots and like didn’t think to take her to the new republic and like THERE ARE 23432432 things wrong with this set up but that is a Whole ‘Nother Rant

Also evidently? Leia ended her Jedi Journey (which abbreviated as JJ, coincidence? I THINK NOT.) because she saw her sons demised but evidently....couldn’t sense her son being groomed by Snoke, creation of Palpatine and like this entire movie makes Leia look like an ineffectual idiot?? Like I was really hoping that Leia was going to be able to escape the “Fuck Mom’s” curse of Star Wars BUT I GUESS THAT BECAUSE THAT’S NOT ~true star wars~

Anyway, evidently Leia gave him her saber which I guess she made but no one decided to show that but instead some freakish CGI (that they swore they wouldn’t do) fight scene because like Leia Obviously Isn’t A Real Force User Unless You Use A Lightsaber. The Reddit Bros Nod Sagely. So Rey decides to go to Exegol.....using the Luke’s X-Wing. The Reddit Bros are weeping tears of joy at this point.  The Resistance starts their FINAL ASSAULT! THEY HAVE SPACE HORSES RIDING ON A SHIP BECAUSE DOESN’T THAT LOOK COOL! FINN KIND OF USES THE FORCE. THEY DECIDE TO BLOW UP THE STAR DESTROYERS BECAUSE FUCK CHILD SOLDIERS AMIRITE (rip Finn’s Stormtrooper backstory that JJ constructed that He Couldn’t Even Be Arse To Complete or like Think Of Because Like That Would Be Nuanced Shit but like He Gets to - Jump Over Things! - Run! - Know His Angles - Yell desperately After A White Lady because ahahahahha fuck WOC when there’s white p*ssy on the line AMIRITE?)

Either way they’re in trouble and Poe is dismayed and is like yo i’m sorry we’re doomed. Because...that’s.....what generals do. Give The Fuck Up.  BUT DON’T WORRY LANDO IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY BECAUSE EVIDENTLY WHILE THE GALAXY IGNORED LEIA ORGANA’S PLEAS, THEY LISTENED TO LANDO

(Crack theory: He hit up all his exes.)

Rey flies to Exegol to confront Grandpalps. Who never wanted her dead but to become Empress after spending 2.5 movies wanting her dead via puppet!Snoke. Also kudos to JJ Terrio to making a Sith Temple be so fucking boring and lackluster. That Took Skill.\

ANYWAY SHE SEES HER FRIENDS IN TROUBLE MUCH LIKE IN TLJ and in ROTJ but JJ Terrio really really loves his nostalgia and ROTJ was very very very formative evidently. She’s about to Strike Him Down In Anger And Absorb Grandpapa’s essence in order to save her friends but WAIT WHO IS THIS IDIOT RUNNING IN WITH NO FUCKING PLAN Yes, it is Ben Solo channeling his father. As carrying the blaster that Lando gifted to him in Aftermath but like we can only suppose that because who Needs Convos When You Have Pew Pew Pew~ His former Knights show up (who have also never spoken because hahahahah dialogue? Sounds fake. Also moment of Silence of Rian who kept them alive and used Praetorian guards in TLJ instead because he assumed that JJ made them for a meaningful reason because he was Unaware That JJ Was A Fucking Hack)

Anyway, Rey senses him! They do a super cool force bond moment that actually Pays Off and Rey hands off her saber to Ben. Through the force. It’s dope.

#BenSoloChallenge happens.

[In spite of like No Speaking At All, Adam Driver successfully channels the aura of Han Solo in spite of JJ Terrio desperately Insisting That Poe Dameron is Obviously Han Look He Even Ran Spice!!! Look!!]

Eventually they both stand before Palpatine Ready To Throw Down except in stand Palps leeches the lifeforce from them and then yeets Ben into a pit and Rey collapses.

THEN ALL THE JEDI FROM THE MOVIES AND CLONE WARS INCLUDE AHSOKA WHICH MAKES NO SENSE GIVEN CLONE WARS BUT WHAT EVER DON’T YOU FEEL VALIDATED!!! FANS!!! SCREAMS JJ TERRIO

me: no.

Rey pulls a Wonder Woman move because all you need to do to redirect Force Lightning is cross your light sabers.  Anyway, that effort kills her (or like maybe not? Says Terrio in multiple interviews because men from Harvard Literally Never Shut Up.)

Ben somehow?? Climbs?? Out of the pit?? Under his own power because The Jedi Still Haven’t Forgiven the Skywalker Line for Anakin. Even though Anakin also reached out to Rey? I’m just assuming the soul of St. Maul of the Pit was yelling angry motivational speeches to get him out of the pit while St. Ventress adding sarcasm commentary comparing Ben and his namesake. 

EITHER WAY HE’S OUT OF THE PIT! And is like in agony because Rey is uh in limp ragdoll mode so probably dead? We’re gonna go with dead.

He limps over to her because uh evidently getting yeeted into a pit is Not Good For Ones Health or Limbs.

Ben cradles her in his arms and at that moment I had to Apologize For Everyone I Dragged for Size Kink because Adam Driver is Fucking Large and His Hand is Fucking Huge and I, Mneme, Was Wrong You Are Valid.

*cough* where was I? Ah yes, he’s cradling her in his arms realizing she’s dead and I guess? Channeling the force to heal her. Which it does.

He’s happy! She’s happy!

She says “Ben” breathlessly. 

AND THEN SHE SNOGS HIM LIKE THE AWKWARD VIRGINS THAT THEY ARE.

The Force realizes that a Male Skywalker is Getting A Boner and Goes Nope. And he just collapses and fades away at the same time that Leia fades away because ~symmetry~.  Was a war going on? Uh maybe but like LETS NOT WORRY ABOUT LOGISTICS BUT INSTEAD CUT TO EWOKS!! WE ALL LOVE EWOKS RIGHT!! Rey flies back to Ajan Kloss. Poe, Finn, and Rey hug because this movie is almost over and they can stop trying to sell a non-existent trio created because JJ didn’t have the balls to let Poe stay dead in TFA.

Commander D’Arcy kisses her wife in the background but no one really notices and it was cut in Singapore but like JJ Terrio are Woke AF Y’ALL but not too woke because else they’ll get dumped by Reddit Bros.

No, we are Sadly Not Done.

LETS GO TO A SAND PLANET. No, it’s not Jakku it’s Tatooine~ DON’T YOU GUYS REMEMBER TATOOINE!! go JJ Terrio.

You mean the planet where Anakin Skywalker was a slave, Luke Skywalker desperately wanted to leave, and Leia Organa was put into that humiliated outfit? Yes. I remember.

REY’S HERE TO BURY LUKE AND LEIA’S SABERS HERE!! At the Lars homestead that is somehow intact....in spite of Jawas. 

What wha-- why??, you may ask.

Well Luke never got to show Leia his home planet, goes JJ Terrio. Literally anyone who saw ROTJ.....they were on it in then?? JJ Terrio: i can’t see mariah carey dot gif

Rey also shows off her new lightsaber that was evidently crafted from her staff but we were not shown that  on screen because like It Was Considered To Emotional for this Film.

Then finally some old woman passes by and is like Who are you? Rey: Rey Old Nosy Lady: Rey who? *Rey stares at the Force Ghosts of Luke and Leia looking like her parents* Rey: Rey Skywalker JJ TERRIO: SEEEEE WE DID REY SKYWALKER!!! AREN’T WE COOL me: she took the name of a grumpy old man who rejected her and whom she bounced off with his shit because he was being a dick....OKAY JAN

(ffs they could have let her take the name Organa but like Fuck Women amirite? *DRINKS*)

and yeah that’s it. Kid that was brainwashed as a child was reduced to going WHOOOOO every 5 seconds with no thought regarding his fellow stormtroopers who are still brainwashed.

Kid that was abandoned under the guise of ~love~ and sold to an abusive guardian and struggled and starved for years returns to a planet of sand and yes I know that she is probably going else where but that was a choice they made to have the last shot of her Alone with a Droid staring at the twin suns because JJ Terrio have been doing nothing but spraying nostalgia in my face for just under 2 and a half hours.

Kid who was actively groomed since childhood and only just now released from said clutches but lol can’t atone because he dead now.

Kid who lost her sister to the machine of war is pushed aside because she dared to exist.

and Poe.

The End of the Skywalker Saga y’all.

Bonus: “Uh, Mneme what about Rose?” She got exactly a 76 seconds that she acted her heart out in but evidently seeing a non-submissive Asian woman in Star Wars was too much for people last film so that uh Essentially Cut Her Out. Don’t worry they made sure to give her a quarter of a page in the visual dictionary and the Merry the Hobbit two page spread. So like Don’t Worry The Asian Girl Will Not Hurt You. “Mneme, what as the point of Poe?” Fuck, if I fucking know.

“Uh Mneme, the Only Reason Finn Didn’t Have An Arc Is Because of KYLE RON!!!!” 

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

trust me, it really wasn’t.

[themattress]

OUAT AND ME: SEASON 4

Story - The story for the first half of the season is the Frozen Saga and the story for the second half is the Operation Mongoose Saga. The Frozen Saga is about Elsa from Arendelle crossing over into Storybrooke in search of her sister Anna, bonding with Emma in the process and helping her face another Snow Queen who has a secret connection to both of them, while the Operation Mongoose Saga is about heroes and villains alike searching for the elusive author of Henry's storybook so that he can give them their happy endings.

The Frozen Saga is noteworthy for being the last time that OUAT was big in the mainstream, due to the ubiquitous nature of the Disney phenomenon it was capitalizing on not even a year after its release in theaters. And despite the initial apprehension of many, it's actually the Frozen elements that are the strongest part of this story. The flashbacks tell an interconnecting tale serving as the backstory of the present-day events much like the flashbacks of the Dark Curse Saga did, making excellent use of both Frozen and OUAT's established mythology. And the present-day story is all about the unexpected yet perfectly natural bond between Emma and Elsa, and it's honestly one of the strongest depicted friendships the show has ever had. The way the two of them are further linked through the Big Bad is also ingenious, bringing about a great feeling of cohesion to the narrative.

In fact, rewatching this arc after Frozen 2, it's kind of funny how I actually prefer it as a sequel to the original movie than the actual sequel! Like Frozen 2, this arc deals with why Elsa and Anna's parents left on their fateful voyage, the discovery of a secret from their mother's side of the family, a revelation of what the source of Elsa's power is, Elsa making peace with herself while Anna learns to be more independent and ends up marrying Kristoff, and a location called the Enchanted Forest. But it does so in a way that feels more true to the characters from the original film and avoids all of the pratfalls that Frozen 2 stumbled into. There's no over-its-head political message, no sisterly separation ending, and no Olaf.

Unfortunately, there are two subplots that put a damper on things. The first subplot starts off well enough, with Rumpelstiltskin returning to his former villainous glory as he sneaks and schemes and manipulates his way through a plan to obtain the power of the Sorcerer's Hat of Fantasia fame, but it sadly fails to stick the landing in a way that matches the build-up and there end up being no lingering consequences to it when there really should have been. The second subplot is horrendous, focusing on the increasingly skeevy romance between Regina and Robin Hood while also pushing Regina forward on a ridiculous quest to find the Author of Henry's storybook. Why? She believes some cosmic rule is preventing her from having a happy ending  because she was written as a villain in the book (and not because, y'know, she was actually a villain in the past), and if she's rewritten as a hero she thinks that will change. Yes, that is the absurd idea that this whole subplot is founded upon, and the fact that everyone goes along with it as if there is an ounce of logic behind it is cringe-inducing.

Sadly, that subplot ends up becoming the plot of the Operation Mongoose Saga, which on the one hand gives Season 4 more connection between its two arcs than Season 3 had, but on the other hand it's so fucking stupid. Now, whenever it's Rumple leading around his villainous team, "the Queens of Darkness", to find the Author before the heroes can, things are fun and watchable in spite of the plot's stupidity. But whenever it's Regina and Robin's continued relationship angst or a horrendous new subplot about Snow and Charming having secretly been villains in the past by causing Maleficent to lose her child, it's tiresome and insulting. The finale, a two-parter actually named "Operation Mongoose", is highly enjoyable, but it can't fully wash away the taste of what came before it....or what it sets up to come after it.

Characters - Heroes and villains everywhere, and not always where you expect.

* Remember how in Season 3, Emma had a great character arc in the Neverland Saga but then it came to a halt in the Wicked Saga until the two-part season finale finally picked it up and resolved it? And that the Wicked Saga did her dirty by building her up as the only one who could defeat Zelena only for Regina to defeat her instead? Season 4 does kind of a repeating of these problems, except this time around they are a lot more glaring.

For most of the Frozen Saga, Emma has a great arc that's essentially her and Elsa's shared journey toward self-love; learning from each other to accept themselves and their innate powers without having to always rely on the approval of a loved one. But then, after a huge broo-ha-ha is made about how Emma must be the one to defeat the Snow Queen....she doesn't, and Anna barges in to help the Snow Queen see the error of her ways before Emma can lift a finger. She isn't even the one to save her own boyfriend from Rumple afterward, Belle does it instead. It makes Emma look like the definition of a Boring Failure Heroine.

And things don't improve for her in the Operation Mongoose Saga. Her roles are being subservient to Regina in spite of the abuse Regina had thrown her way in the previous arc, being unreasonably angry at her parents for keeping a secret from her, being vilified for daring to kill a heinous villain in defense of her son, going back and forth between being a friend or an enemy to her "dark half" Lily, and being hyped as the key to restoring reality to the way it was in the season finale...only for Regina, yet again, to end up taking that role away from her. I think it was Disney's insistence that Emma be tied to Elsa and have that arc in the Frozen Saga, because Adam and Eddy clearly couldn't care less about her.  

* Snow and Charming....SIGH. In the Frozen Saga, Snow is the new mayor of Storybrooke...until the Operation Mongoose Saga, where she suddenly isn't anymore and Regina takes up the mantle again. Through both arcs, Snow reaches new levels of bad motherhood toward Emma while continuing to coddle Regina, which is not touching, it's creepy. Charming, meanwhile, is revealed to have been a long-haired coward during his shepherd days and owes his bravery and swordsman skills to Anna, which neuters just about any coolness he ever had. And then, of course, there's the egg-napping subplot from the Operation Mongoose Saga, where Snow and Charming are revealed to have stolen the egg containing Maleficent's baby, transferred Emma's darkness into it while Emma was still in Snow's womb, and then sent it away in a portal. All because of some nebulous prophesizing and interference from Isaac. And this revelation means, according to the show, that they were villains all along and thus all this time have been pious hypocrites who just do things the easy way rather than the right way. Doesn't Regina look so much better in comparison to them now? Because that's clearly the intent behind this fucking writing decision. Character assassination at its finest.

* Henry sucks, Henry sucks, Henry.....doesn't suck? Yes, for most of the season Henry is lamer than he's ever been, still being treated like a precocious kid character even though Jared Gilmore has clearly entered puberty. But then he ends up as the leading character of the season finale, and shockingly rises to the occasion. It concludes with him becoming the new Author, and this marks a turning point in Henry's character that has been a long time coming, which I will go more into detail about when I talk about the next two seasons.

* This is the season where Regina officially crossed the line into Mary Sue territory. She decides that Marian's reappearance means that she is being punished for being a villain...not because she actually was a villain, but because some Author dared to write her as a villain in a storybook, and that he needs to rewrite her into a hero so that she can get the happy ending that she's entitled to. And in true Mary Sue fashion, she warps the plot and characters around her so that nobody objects to this idea and instead whole-heartedly embrace it.

Every good guy in Storybrooke fights to help Regina get her happy ending, constantly repeating that she "deserves it" and has "come so far" even as she continues to act in ways contradicting that notion. In the end, she doesn't even need the Author since she gets Robin Hood back, gets the adulation of being a "Light Savior" who restores reality back to normal, and has Emma sacrifice herself to the Dark One curse in order to save Regina and her "hard-earned" happy ending. I think the scene that best displays the problem is in the flashback of the episode "Mother", where we see Regina in the past remorselessly murder a groom on his wedding day for no good reason, then immediately go cry over Daniel's grave since this is the anniversary of his death, and then we cut to present-day Regina mention how life always "kicks her in the teeth". Yeah, I kinda think life kicked that groom in the teeth WAY more. So where the Hell is the Author who's gonna give his poor widowed bride her happy ending?

* Rumple, for the most part, is great in this season. In the Frozen Saga, we see him going back to his Dark Curse Saga roots as he plays the role of the true villainous mastermind behind the female Big Bad, dealing and manipulating his way toward one single objective - in this case being to use the power of the Sorcerer's Hat to "cleave" himself from the Dark One dagger. And in the Operation Mongoose Saga, he steps up as the direct Big Bad who leads a team of other villains in pursuit of the Author, under the promise that he can give them their happy endings. It helps that Robert Carlyle is clearly enjoying himself; that fun is infectious.

Unfortunately, there is a problem: Rumple fails to stick the landing in his last three episodes of both arcs. In the Frozen Saga, his failure to absorb Emma into the Sorcerer's Hat seems to drive him bonkers because he then rips out Hook's heart, relying solely on commanding him to do his dirty work all while ranting and raving repetitively about how when the stars in the sky and the stars in the hat are aligned, he will cleave himself of the dagger and he will kill Hook to do so, and that Hook better enjoy so-and-so because it'll be his last and blah blah blah. It's boring and silly, and Rumple's arrogance as he keeps saying it just makes his failure that much more pathetic. And in the Operation Mongoose Saga, his suddenly revealed heart condition ends up taking its toll on him and he is ultimately unable to mount a final assault against the heroes on his own, requiring the far less impressive Isaac to do so instead. The "Light One" version of him that Isaac overwrites him with manages to put up a fight, but that's not nearly as good. Rumple as the Big Bad should have gone out with a bang, not a whimper.

* Hook remains one of the best characters in the ensemble, forced to reconcile his pirate past with his heroic present in both the Frozen Saga and the Operation Mongoose Saga. In the former, his fears of regressing allow Rumple to manipulate him into servitude, which Hook ends up fighting against until Rumple rips out his heart. In the latter, he contends with the way in which he'd wronged Ursula in the past, and with the help of Ariel (whom he also finally does right by), he is able to rectify his mistake and grant Ursula her true happy ending. I'm not really a big fan of his new modern leather jacket, though. The pirate coat was iconic!

* Following such a good Season 3 performance, Belle looks like she's on track to become even better at the end of the Frozen Saga when she finally sees Rumple for who he is and dumps his ass all the way across the town line. It was a powerful scene with some great lines from Belle, and by all logic it should have been the end of her and Rumple as a romantic pairing. They needed to be done after that, with Belle now being free to develop her character entirely apart from Rumple. But of course, Adam and Eddy would never allow that, so all she does in the Operation Mongoose Saga is date a man she doesn't actually love to soothe her heartbreak, fall passed out on the floor, have her heart stolen by Regina and then have it recovered by Rumple which causes her to inevitably crawl back to him at the end of the finale. As the next seasons will show, this damaged Belle's character beyond repair, turning her into the very Stockholm Syndrome-afflicted abuse victim that stupid detractors of the Disney version always claimed she was. This isn't a love story anymore. It's a horror story.

* Robin Hood is a regular for this season in all but title, being present for many episodes in the Frozen Saga and even getting his own focus episode in the Operation Mongoose Saga. If there was any chance of salvaging this horrendously misused character, it died the moment it showed that he still desired a relationship with Regina even after learning that she was the one who killed Marian, which would have stuck if not for Emma and Hook's time travel adventure. I'm sorry, who does that!? That is not realistic human behavior! And it only gets worse when he ends up deliberately and vocally throwing away his honor code by cheating on Marian with Regina while Marian is frozen solid and could possibly die! Oh, but Marian ends up being Zelena anyway, so all's cool. No! All's not cool! Why did this show make Robin Hood into such a lame character!? It's especially a disservice to Sean Maguire, who's a smooth and funny guy in real life and the Robin Hood he plays utilizes none of his charm.

* And then we have the regular in title only, Robin's former associate Will Scarlet, carried over from Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. Of all the screwed-over regulars the show has had, none can compare with Will Scarlet. He does little of interest in the Frozen Saga except for enticing viewers with various mysteries about who he is, why he's here and what's he up to...and those mysteries get absolutely no pay-off in the Operation Mongoose Saga, where he barely shows up and when he does is mainly just Belle's new boyfriend (whom she scarcely interacts with directly!) so that Rumple can get jealous and more determined to find the Author. In the end, Will Scarlet is a nuisance who has fuck-all to do with anything that's going on in the season, leaving viewers scratching their heads as to why he was included to begin with. I can't believe that in his last speaking appearance, the show actually has him deliver the line "I warn ya, I'm scrappy", to which Rumple replies "All right, Scrappy." It's funny because Scrappy, in the TV Tropes usage of the word, perfectly describes Will here.

So, what went wrong? Well, originally the Wonderland spin-off was meant to take place during Season 2 of the main show, with the originally filmed pilot making this explicit. So Will in Season 4 was to be the Will we have after the Wonderland Saga's conclusion, meaning somehow he'd gone back to Storybrooke and regressed back into a selfish, self-esteem lacking, seemingly heartless thief separated from his true love Anastasia / the Red Queen. Highly unoriginal of Adam and Eddy, but whatever, there were still plans to move forward with him as a character on the main show. But those plans failed to materialize and Michael Socha spent a lot of time on set doing nothing, a miserable experience which he was very vocal about afterward. And what was Adam and Eddy's excuse? "It’s just, you know, there’s just so many…there’s just so many people that it’s like, it’s sometimes hard to do that story and sacrifice Regina’s story. That’s just showbiz." It all comes down to Regina. Of course.

In the end it's for the best that the confirmation of the Wonderland Saga as taking place in Season 2 never happened in the pilot we actually got, since Will's existence in this season only makes sense now if it was happening before the Wonderland Saga rather than after, thus my headcanon will always be that Will's fateful break-in to Granny's was after it closed up on the night "Operation Mongoose" ended on rather than the night of the wraith attack.

* Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, Sven, Hans, Grand Pabbie, Oaken, the Duke of Weselton, and the former King and Queen of Arendelle are all lifted from Frozen to OUAT, and for every character that required an actor they got an actor who perfectly brought the animated movie character to life. They are also written accurately as well, with Elsa naturally being the stand-out given how much she gets to do and the bond she forges with Emma. And then there are the new Frozen characters invented for the show: Elsa and Anna's aunts - the deceased Helga and the icy-powered Ingrid, who is also the Frozen Saga's Big Bad, the Snow Queen. Ingrid, played beautifully by Elizabeth Mitchell, is essentially what Elsa might have become if Anna hadn't been so unconditionally loving toward her - her mind warped by her past pain and trauma, embittered toward all normal people, and willing to cross any moral boundary to find a family and place to belong to. Her connection to Elsa and Anna is perfectly exploited, her interactions with characters like Emma and Rumple are fascinating, and her ending where she realizes the error of her ways and sacrifices her life to reverse the damage she's done is the show's most beautiful, emotional send-offs for a villain since Rumple's death.

* The Queens of Darkness are Rumple's cohorts in the Operation Mongoose Saga who also desire the Author to write them a happy ending. The initial group is the trio of Maleficent, Ursula and Cruella De Vil, and it's later revealed that not-so-dead Zelena is also a member.

Maleficent, in spite of being played competently by Kristen Bauer van Straten and having great fashion sense in both worlds, is the weakest of the initial trio, since she is saddled with the mind-bogglingly stupid eggnapping subplot. Ursula isn't actually reflective of the Disney version of the character (Regina already did that in Season 3) and is more like a dark version of Ariel in regards to her backstory. She also isn't nearly as villainous as her peers and naturally she is redeemed rather quickly and easily as a result. And then there's Cruella De Vil, who is not a fairy tale character so everyone feared how she'd come off. Well, she's not only the best of the trio but one of the show's best villains, period. Victoria Smurfit looks, sounds and moves like the cartoon character made flesh, backed up by strong writing that makes her both funny and menacing - especially the latter when it comes to her backstory, a twisted little tale that subverts the show's usual "evil isn't born, it's made" mantra HARD.

Zelena.....SIGH. Like I said before, Adam and Eddy were dropping obvious clues that she wasn't really dead at the end of Season 3, which begged the question why they did a fake-out death to begin with. Apparently, it's because of this season's twist where, with almost no foreshadowing whatsoever, Marian is revealed to actually be Zelena in disguise, having traveled back in time with Emma and Hook and then killed the real Marian in order to take her place. She's revealed to then be pregnant with Robin Hood's child (since he slept with her thinking she was Marian...therefore, she raped him) before being hauled right on back to Storybrooke prison again. It's awful writing, salvaged only by Rebecca Mader's performance.

* We get some welcome returning characters this season, including Sydney Glass, Blackbeard, Ariel, Cora, and against all expectations August Booth. There are some interesting new side characters introduced as well, such as warlord Bo Peep (yes, really), Ursula's father Poseidon played by the great Ernie Hudson, and the Sorcerer's Apprentice, keeper of the Sorcerer's Hat and the Author's boss, meaning he naturally plays a major role throughout the season. The Author himself is Isaac Heller, played by Patrick Fischler, and he turns out to be a surprise villain who abuses his powers to influence events, which an Author is not supposed to do. While I wish he didn't take over the Big Bad position to such a degree in the finale, Isaac is still a very entertaining villain, especially when he's playing off of Regina and Rumple. His sardonic and cynical attitude also make him the perfect foil to Henry.

And then there's this season's biggest waste of a new character: Lilith "Lily" Page. There are three major problems with Lily. First of all, her origin - she's Maleficent's child that Snow and Charming kidnapped, passed all of Emma's natural-born darkness onto, and sent through a portal when she was still in an egg. It's so utterly stupid. Second, she is played by a Latino actress as a child only to have a white actress playing her as an adult. How does that work!? Finally, for all of the build-up she receives, she and her story go absolutely nowhere after she is reunited with her mother. They even make a point of giving her a scene toward the end about wanting to find who her father is, and that never gets followed up on. Even worse, the next story arc is all about Emma going dark, which Rumple had been trying to make happen throughout this arc and Lily was linked to, and yet Lily, her literal dark half, ISN'T involved!? Honestly, Mal from Descendants made a better "daughter of Maleficent" character! MAL!

Atmosphere - The Frozen Saga's atmosphere is very...Frozen-y; I don't really know another word to describe it. At least whenever it's focused on the Frozen characters. The Rumple subplot gets progressively darker to the point of becoming unpleasant, while the Regina subplot is just romantic and existential angst 24/7. These atmospheres don't fit in with the Frozen one at all, which is a testament to how Adam and Eddy are going the wrong direction with this show. Once the Operation Mongoose Saga happens, the atmosphere of the show goes insane, flip-flopping back and forth between family fairy tale wholesomeness to dark and disturbing and depressing to campiness on a level that feels off even for this show.

Episode Quality - For the most part, the Frozen Saga's episodes are perfectly fine and entertaining, although stretching out the 8th episode, "Smash the Mirror", into a two-parter was a horrible idea that cost the show terribly in the ratings. The only two standouts of badness are the 5th episode, "Breaking Glass", which introduces Lily in the flashback story while the present day story is all about Emma just having to sit back and take Regina's verbal abuse in spite of doing nothing to deserve it, and the final episode, "Heroes and Villains", whose only redeeming quality is the scene with Rumple and Belle at the town line, which doesn't even have lasting consequences. For the rest of the episode, we either spend time giving the Frozen cast a rushed, underwhelming send-off, having Rumple continue to abuse Hook while none of the idiot heroes catch on, fixating even more on Regina's angst as she has to let Robin Hood leave town in order to "save" "Marian", and watching a stupid Rumbelle-based flashback introducing the Queen of Darkness trio. In short, the episode is more the start of the Operation Mongoose Saga than it is the end of the Frozen Saga, which feels like a slap in the face to the last thing that made this show relevant to the mainstream.

And the Operation Mongoose Saga's episodes....actually got a lot better on a rewatch!? Don't get me wrong, this story arc is BAD. But when you detach yourself emotionally from the show and its characters, it becomes So Bad It's Good. It's as if the entire saga is Isaac's fanfiction; after all, it truly got started in "Heroes and Villains", and that's the name of Isaac's book in the "Operation Mongoose" two-part finale. Some episodes are unironically fun: "Darkness on the Edge of Town", "Poor Unfortunate Soul" and "Sympathy For the De Vil", but the other episodes are also fun when you just embrace how batshit crazy this whole story is and just enjoy watching how these poor actors are struggling to make something out of the material, and it's just as much fun when they fail as it is when they succeed. "Heart of Gold", the Robin Hood focus episode that reveals the Marian = Zelena twist, is one I have a soft spot for, because between Mader and Carlyle's acting, the scene of that reveal is hilarious.

Overall -  Season 4 is basically the inverse of Season 2. Whereas Season 2 was horribly structured but a lot of strong material in either writing or acting was able to make it stronger than the sum of its parts. Season 4, on the other hand, has a solid structure with two inter-connected story arcs, but the material gets so increasingly shoddy that it doesn't matter. Until Seasons 6 and 7 came along, this was definitely the weakest season the show had to offer. If you don't mind a So Bad It's Good quality, then you should stick with the entire thing. But if you only want something that's actually good, then just watch all of the Frozen material.

[crimsonrae]

Across the Road, At the Brothel

Chapter Twelve

Summary: Jaskier fell in love any day that the sun rose in the East. It was a trifling, pleasurable experience for him. Even when he was jumping out a window to avoid cuckolded husbands. So what happens when his trifles start to become more significant? Jaskier/OC. Some Yennefer/Geralt

A/N: Jaskier is just too adorable not to write about. This is a relationship development story with an OC. There will be smut in later chapters and plenty of angst. Okay, so this chapter is a bit of filler to get to the next plot point and character development. Bear with me and apologies for any grammatical mistakes I didn't have time to do a thorough vetting of this chapter. Thank you for all your support, I love hearing from you guys. Please enjoy.

Rating: Mature

@dancingwith-thesunflowers​

Jade Eyes and Trees

The chill from the creek water was both refreshing and uncomfortable. Geralt held in a hiss as the frigid current rushed almost too harshly against his new and healing wounds. He wouldn't deny it felt good to remove the blood and grime from his skin, but he rather wished he had been able to do so in a warm bath. He washed quickly, not wanting to be caught in a vulnerable position. It mattered little to the witcher that Lyrra had proven herself to be a friend, he was still out in the open and despite his capabilities the years of surviving alone had his instincts screaming to move quickly. It didn't help that the cottage had a steady stream of strangers due to him stupidly walking into an unknown situation unprepared. He doubted the man who had attempted to save him would have been so direly wounded had Geralt brought more than a dagger with him. It had been careless and stupid, an act of hubris, and not one that he was typically prone to. Cold water was more than he deserved.

Grunting quietly, he gingerly removed the bandages from his shoulder and rinsed the wound. The skin had broken open slightly. Not as bad as it could have been, but still annoying. His movements felt sluggish in their haste and he bit back another hiss when he slipped against the bank of the creek.

Fuck.

A scowl painted his mien as he pulled himself out of the water and to his clothes. He didn't bother drying properly and instead yanked on his trousers and boots before sliding his dagger into his boot and another in his belt. A thin stream of blood began to trickle down his chest at his sharp movements which only deepened his scowl as he caught the faint scent of jasmine and cedar.

"I thought I told you to rest." Geralt paused in his movements and arched a brow as he turned to look over his shoulder. Lyrra stood only a few feet away, hidden by the shadows of a tree, but he still saw her. What bothered him was that he hadn't heard her approach.

She met his glare with a raised brow, "You were under the impression that I would listen?"

His glower turned exasperated as he briefly thought of how perfect she and Jaskier were for each other, "I don't need a nursemaid."

Lyrra bit back a smile as she drew closer, "What can I say, I'm a worrier."

Geralt sent her a disbelieving look before laying out the bandages and a small rag he had taken from her cottage. His shoulder wound had already clotted, but his chest was still stained with his blood and would only get worse once he applied his healing poultice. Lyrra stepped just within arm's reach and he barely graced a look to her open palm before sighing and nodding to a bag behind him, "Grab the balm inside."

He ignored the rustling behind him as Lyrra did as he bid, he noted that even that soft sound was almost nonexistent. Briefly, the thought crossed his mind that she had made noise on purpose, instinct told him that she could have removed his supplies without him being any the wiser if she so chose. The thought mulled about as she snagged his rag. Geralt sighed quietly but leaned back to give her space as she tended to his shoulder. Admittedly, the process went quicker when it was done by another set of hands, but he wasn't inclined to admit it.

He raised a brow at her as she finished tightening the bandage and handed him his shirt, "Happy?"

"Ecstatic." Lyrra intoned back with that same dry tone.

She avoided his awaiting gaze and barely kept from fidgeting as he remained silent. Geralt wasn't stupid and he was patient. Something was on the former Princess's mind, other than his wound-care. Her grey eyes flickered to his golden stare before darting away again. Where he had grown used to Jaskier prattling incessantly to fill these silences, Lyrra seemed to be more inclined to endure it.

At least until he began gathering his things together. A shuddering breath escaped her and he turned his awaiting gaze back to her face. Lyrra's mouth moved silently for a second before halting words flowed forth, "The creatures... from the Croorey House... if there are no further ones up there, Glynedol should be safe, correct?"

Geralt tilted his head as he studied her, he had the suspicion that her inquiry had different motives than the town's safety. Slowly, he gave a nod, "As safe as it's ever been anyway."

"Would that mean your business is finished here?" She asked softly, her grey gaze flickering away from his again.

Geralt blinked, "Should it be?"

He wouldn't be surprised if the locals were pushing for his departure. It wouldn't be the first time his presence had been ill-tolerated... Except his presence had been chiefly ignored in Glynedol. He had been given a few suspicious looks from a local or two, but most had level a measuring eye to him, sniffed, and then moved on with their business as if he were no more a burden than a traveling merchant.

Lyrra seemed to sense his line of thought as she grimaced faintly, "No one's demanding you leave. It's just your wound actually isn't too far from healing fully; despite the new collection of bruises you've acquired. You mentioned you'd stay as long as it took for you to heal..."

"I also said I would stay until your attacker wasn't a concern." He reminded her as he tugged his bag over his shoulder, "It's been a week and I'm not satisfied with your training progress."

Lyrra rolled her eyes and muttered something about overprotective idiots in Elder under her breath. Flushing faintly when he responded in kind about stubborn princesses.

She hummed curiously, "How many languages do you know?"

"Enough." Geralt grumbled quietly, "As for overprotective – will I get that lament when I tell you not to go to the Croorey House tomorrow?"

"Yes." Lyrra huffed with a light glare, "And I'm going anyway."

The witcher frowned, "It's dangerous."

"So's waking up, yet I do that too." Lyrra mouthed petulantly and he was tempted to smack her upside the head or make her go through a training drill.

He breathed out through his nose and began to meander back up the pathway to the cottage, "You're not going by yourself."

Another huff reached his ears, but no protest followed his words. He wasn't sure if that meant she was agreeing to his terms or was merely placating him. It didn't much matter either way. He stood by his statement; he wouldn't let her up there alone.

                                    »»————-　　————-««

"Two hundred crown?" Jaskier grimaced as he looked about the cozy little inn the dice tournament was taking place. There were, maybe, thirty other potential gamblers present, surely the entry fee shouldn't be so high for this motley little crew, "Bit extreme, don't you think?"

A pallid man with wireframe rims that seem to extended passed his nose near to his mouth frowned unimpressed at the bard, "Two hundred is the buy-in. If you don't have the coin then piss off."

Jaskier scowled churlishly as he handed over his coin purse, suddenly glad he had paid for his room and board before entering the tournament. Now, he just hoped he didn't lose it all.

Wireframes handed him a green tassel to mark him as one of the players. He pulled the soft fabric through his fingers as he meandered away from the entry table. Lazily, his azure gaze flicked about the room as he took in others waiting to add themselves to the tournament and those who had already gained their green tassels. Strangely, he noted there were more than a few noblemen participating. At least Jaskier assumed they were noblemen based on the expensive cut of their clothing. Actually...

Jaskier spun languidly on his heel as he realized there weren't many who didn't look like they had a fair amount of coin... To be fair, he supposed, the buy-in for the tournament was a little extravagant, but not wholly unattainable. It did make him pause; however, he did not want to end up on the bad side of some landed gentry. Well, not through gambling anyway. Lords tended to hold grudges over lost money far fiercer than they did their wives.

"You look lost."

The bard startled slightly as a voice of warm honey breezed right by his ear. His head sharply turned more curious than alarmed, already rambling out, "No, I'm...uh..."

His words petered off as jade green eyes enraptured him and he felt a rush of air escape of his lungs as he murmured a soft, "Oh..."

The vixen before him smiled coyly. A dark lock of curly hair fell across her forehead and into her eyes and he wanted nothing more than to reach up and brush it away. She giggled lightly, "Oh?"

"Hello." He uttered, unblinkingly. His gaze devoured this woman's delicate features and smooth skin. She was stunning and he was caught unaware by the flow of arousal that suddenly spiraled through his veins, "I'm Jaskier."

A delighted trill seemed to purr from her mouth as she repeated his name, "Jaskier...Buttercup. How sweet. You're a bard."

Despite the fact that she hadn't paid him any true compliment, Jaskier's chest puffed up in diminutive pride as he replied, "I am, milady."

"Oh no, please... call me, Inara." She simpered prettily and reached out to trail her fingers lightly across the back of his hand.

Jaskier felt flushed at the contact and he swallowed tightly, suddenly unable to focus on anything other than the desirous fires that lit his veins. Somewhere a small voice screamed at him that something wasn't right, but he couldn't bring himself to listen. He nearly choked on his breath as he fought to remember how to form the words with which he made his livelihood. Finally, he managed to breathe out, "Inara..."

Her smile widened slightly in satisfaction as she proceeded to ask, "Do you sing as handsomely as you look?"

"I... uh... I." A clever retort danced at the tip of his tongue, but yet his struggle to remember how to make his voice work continued. As did the strange war of lust and hesitance waging inside him.

He was interrupted from further replying as Wire Frames made a call to the end of the participating entry. The small man's shrilly dull voice was enough to break his stare from the enchantress before him as his azure gaze swung briskly toward the front of the room. Instructions were being spoken of the tournament's rules and penalties for those caught cheating. Yet, the brief interlude was enough to cool the flames the mysterious Inara sparked.

Once again feeling in control of his faculties, Jaskier turned to address the lady but found that she had disappeared from his side. He searched almost wildly about the room but found only a man watching him intently from a far corner. He arched a curious brow but quickly followed the other gamblers into the main room. He felt unsettled and uncertain as he stood at the table for his first game.

What the fuck had he stumbled into?

                                 »»————-　　————-««

It was just before the light of day that Lyrra made her escape from the cottage. She pulled on her trousers and shirt next to the creek where she had found Geralt only hours previously. Her sleep had been restless as she listened to Nyria and Myer take turns watching over Tyllan thru the night. The old blacksmith had barely given Lyrra and Geralt a glance when he arrived, his focus firmly planted on his ailing son. Lyrra was still trying to determine if his current dismissal was boon or not – worried parents were an enigma to the former princess.

Biting back a sigh, she tugged her boots on and pulled a light vest over her shirt. She had briefly considered grabbing her headscarf and hat, but the Croorey House laid on a long-neglected path. There was only overgrowth and light forest between it and her cottage, no one would see her dressed so. She had tethered her hair into a long braid, but that was more for practicality than vanity. Once she deemed herself ready for the four-mile trek she set off at a brisk pace. She hoped to be back before the rest of her cottage's inhabitants broke their fasts for the day.

Of course, best-laid plans and all that... she was halfway to her destination when she realized she was being followed. She would have panicked, the thought of her attacker still lingered in the back of her mind, if it weren't for the fact that she had a decent idea of who exactly was following her. Holding in a quiet sigh, Lyrra made her steps as quiet as possible as she trekked onward.

The foliage around the path to the Croorey House began to thicken and she knew that it wouldn't be much longer until she reached the safehouse. Quickly, she stepped off the path and began to use the shadow of the trees for cover. Despite that Geralt had killed the creatures he had encountered in this area, even he had been hesitant to say that the fleder infestation was completely clear. It was why he hadn't wanted her to come up here alone. However, he didn't understand it was quicker for her to do her work when she had no one accompanying her. Also, she had the distinct impression that the hulking witcher was beginning to put the pieces of her past together and she wasn't quite ready to divulge any more about herself to him...or Jaskier.

A small pang of guilt and hurt continued to resound in her at the thought of the bard. Lyrra knew that he was giving her space, but she hadn't expected him to vanish completely. Yet, even that seemed unfair when she realized they had been parted for less than a day. Somehow, without his chatter or quiet strumming to fill the silence, it seemed like he had been gone for much longer. It uneased her how quickly she had become used to his presence...expected it even. She had to remind herself that his absence was a good thing, even though it was beginning to make her feel wretched.

All of this played through her mind as she swiftly ducked under branches and sidestepped small dips and burrows in the ground. An ominous quiet had fallen over the section of the forest she scurried through – she was close. Unthinkingly, Lyrra leapt and grasped a low hanging branch. She dangled for a moment and then took a deep breath before gently swinging her legs.

One swing.

Her hands lifted up slightly as her legs kicked back.

Two swings.

Again. she gained a little more height.

Three...

The momentum was enough for her to heave up on top of the branch before scaling a little higher. Her arms weren't nearly as shaky as she expected them to be. It had been a long time since she had performed any type of acrobatic feats, but then trying to hold a sword against a witcher was bound to reform her muscles. She had been tediously sore the first few days of Geralt's little training regime.

With a swiftness, she didn't quite feel, Lyrra jumped from one tree to the next until she was at the edge of the Croorey property. From the ground, the old house look liked a grouping dilapidated ruins and overgrown weeds. This had been done purposefully, a marker for those who knew what to look for, and an uninteresting spot for those who didn't. However, if one climbed high enough - as Lyrra had – the view of the Croorey House became much different.

Gone was the image of the old ruined site and its place stood a modest rock and log cabin and a well. Perfect for a person, maybe two, to stay in, but not much more than that. This could only be accessed from a specific spot to the North of the house.

Not too far from the entrance, the bodies of the slain fleders and bruxa lay rotting. Lyrra grimaced at the sight but tried to keep her sharp eyes focused on the windows of the cabin. She didn't want to enter the property if she didn't have to – despite setting off without the witcher, she actually was rather averse to violent danger and had a healthy respect for staying alive. She wouldn't chance to encounter one of the foul creatures below if she could help it.

So, she stood.

Quiet and watchful.

Looking for any hint of movement or life from inside.

Nothing.

She leapt to a nearby tree as nimbly as a squirrel and viewed the property from this new vantage point.

Again nothing.

She repeated this process a few more times, but encounter no sign of someone staying in the cabin. At least no human person. She had heard of fleders before and were fairly certain that they were creatures of the night... she would need to ask Geralt, but if that were the case then she may see no movement if these creatures were resting.

Sighing, she gingerly dropped to the ground and abruptly froze as she looked up into a pair of unimpressed golden eyes. She pursed her lips, suddenly feeling like a child caught stealing sweats before hesitantly asking while gesturing to the tree, "Heard me?"

"Smelled." Geralt grumbled.

Lyrra crinkled her nose in faint disgust, "That's lovely."

A faint hint of amusement shined in his gaze before he raised a brow at her, "Well?"

It took her a moment to understand what he was asking before she replied, "I saw no one, but it is light out now... those creatures? Are they nocturnal? They may be resting."

Geralt pondered her words. Fleders were sensitive to the sun, but that didn't necessarily preclude they'd be inside. He'd rather be thorough with his check of the property. He licked his lips, "How do I get past the illusion?"

Lyrra was silent a moment. She only knew of the Croorey House because of her need of it years ago, part of her felt like a snitch to divulge its secrets now. Yet, Geralt already knew so much, giving him the last of the secrets would likely do little harm, "There's an entrance to the north. You'll see a glimmer of blue light. Enter. That's how you get inside."

Geralt nodded and pulled his sword from its sheath. She noted for the first time he was more properly clothed for a fight than he had been last night. His leather armor still had a rent in it, however. She would have him take it to Hillard to be repaired when they returned.

"You will stay here, Lyrra." Geralt ordered with a dark look. He hadn't forgotten her disregard of his instruction not to come up here alone.

To his surprise, she nodded and leaned against the trunk of the tree she had disbanded from, "Alright. Just be careful. I don't think I could get you back to Nyria by myself."

He snorted at her but kept from commenting as he slipped silently from her side. Lyrra watched after him amount before she scaled the tree again, this time to watch his progress.

Geralt was quiet...more quiet than she expected for such a large man and fast. His speed did not surprise her as much. Training with him had allowed her to be on the receiving end of his speed far too often. She observed how he quickly located the glimmer and stepped past the illusion. He seemed to pause once he had entered the property and she didn't understand why until she found his golden gaze locked on her again. A shiver spurned down her back... this was the first time she became fully aware of what a predator the witcher truly was. She had never known someone to be so aware of their surroundings.

It was vaguely terrifying.

In all, it took him maybe ten minutes to clear the property, inside and out. A look of mild consternation coated his countenance as he returned to her. Lyrra raised a brow at him from her place on a branch as she reiterated his earlier question, "Well?"

Geralt glared speculatively at her before replying dismissively, "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

The witcher said nothing. His mind elsewhere as he started the walk back into Glynedol. Lyrra stared after him, perplexed before dropping to the ground a second time and running to catch up. She didn't understand. What did Geralt mean by nothing? Was there no sign that anyone had stayed there or just no one present?

She didn't ask, not sure how to frame her questions correctly to gain the maximum information. Geralt was hardly verbal at the best of times, something she didn't ordinarily mind, but now her inquiring mind wanted to know.

She finally parsed out what she would ask when they arrived in town, but it hardly mattered as she was instantly waylaid by Hillard and Owain. Both looked grim and she suddenly feared the worse had happened to Tyllan.

She tensed at their approach and felt more than saw Geralt do the same. Hillard was the one to start, "Lass..."

"Is he dead?" Lyrra asked quietly, not liking the awkward look on either man's face.

Hillard blanched for a moment in confusion before realization took him, "No, Tyllan's still bein' watched by Nyria and Myer. It's yer boy."

"Jaskier?"

Hillard nodded, "He's left, lass."

Geralt stared intently at the barkeep over her shoulder, "What do you mean he left?"

The older man seemed to falter for a moment, having forgotten that the bard traveled with the witcher. Owain had no trouble taking over, "He mentioned somethin' about a tournament an' said he'd be back in a day or two."

"A tournament?" Lyrra muttered bemused as she tried to remember what the gossip in the Pine had been.

Geralt sounded weary as he asked, "A tournament where?"

"Bellhaven." Owain answered.

That made Lyrra's eyes spring wide. She cursed under her breath as she remembered what exact tournament the innkeeper spoke of, "The dice tournament?"

Owain shrugged and Hillard grimaced. It was all the answer that Lyrra needed as she rubbed tiredly at her face. When she looked up Geralt was watching her expectantly, "We need to go get him."

The witcher quirked a brow at her.

"Jaskier's about to be introduced to Toussaint's Syndicate." She all but mumbled.

Geralt stared at her for a moment before heaving a sigh and quietly cursing...Fuck.

Previous Chapter

[imacrowcawcaw]

Treasure Ch. 1 (Penntin)

(Ao3)

Pairing: “Penny” Adiyodi/Quentin Coldwater, past Penny/Pearl Sunderland, past Quentin/Alice Quinn, background Margo & Eliot

Fandom: The Magicians (TV)

Length of series: who knows

Warnings/tags: magic (like duh), universe alterations, canon divergence (obviously), spells gone wrong, magic rituals, slow build, enemies to friends to lovers, first kiss, first time, snuggling and cuddling, Penny is very physically affectionate believe it or not, attempted humor, fluff, angst, smut, happy ending

Summary: 

Quentin fucks up a spell (Penny may or may not have also helped/hindered).

Quentin is the reason Penny can’t see unless he’s hugging him and also why everything smells like the Bog of Eternal Stench.

Quentin’s run-amuck brain brings all sorts of problems to the table.

Quentin is starting to make Penny feel funny in his chest (and his pants). 

Fuck Quentin, man.

Author’s Notes: I’m nearly through season one and am also not willing to put in hours of research on this universe’s magical rituals, so -- keep that in mind, I guess. That being said, I am in LOVE with this show and also this pairing. 78 stories on ao3?!? Fair, but sad…. I am falling hard and fast for Penntin (idk the ship name). So I had to write out everything in my brain. So here. Plays off of some the other fics on here, particularly “Practical applications of falling in love” -- kudos to you, @echomoon, that was amazing and I can’t stop thinking on the concept!! 

----------

The smell was everywhere. It burned through Penny’s nose like it had a personal vendetta against every single one of his nostril hairs (which, it had been kindly pointed out a few years ago by a bitch who will remain unnamed, numbered quite a few. Especially visible when underneath him, which almost everyone was in this apparent plane of Hobbits. Right, moving on. Bitch.)

He covered his nose with his hands, then the scarf wrapped loosely around his neck - purple silk, today - but the smell just kept coming and coming until he was nearly choking. 

In the back of his mind, Penny could feel the waves of panic, frustration, and disgust coming off of Quentin fucking Coldwater in a mixture much similar to what he was feeling. More panic, or course, cause the guy was a walking circus accident, and some various streams of babbling mind diarrhea lamenting about the awful smell. Surprisingly, the guy had a vocabulary Penny could almost be impressed by. But he was much more focused on himself and his dying nose, no matter how insistent Quentin’s feelings were.

And Penny would like to point out that he never willingly associated with that geek. It was always outside forces convening to push them together, whether in a study group or room assignments or the weird-ass plot against their lives that somehow connected Mothman and cursed daggers and creepy pedaphilic authors (that he would have liked to punch in the face).

Of course, that ever-present, invisible asshole (fate, god, the Dean; what did he care?) pushed them together yet again with more disastrous results. 

Like them being together in the same room at all.

Like them being paired up to do spell work.

Like them fucking it up. 

The disastrous fucking results he just knew were going to happen were, apparently, this smell. He had scented some pretty bad (literal) shit in his lifetime, but nothing compared to the absolute atrocity that was Quentin bungling a simple ass locator spell. 

“Oh, my god!”

And that was the fucking idiot, desperately clutching his ever-present baggy shirt over his face like it would do some good against it. Magical stenches did not, as it appeared, let themselves be blocked out so easily. 

Penny rolled his eyes - watering like a baby’s, he might add - and made his way over to a window on the backside of the class, pounding at the frame with his fist when it wouldn’t fucking budge. 

Stupid Quentin, going and burning his nose because he couldn’t fucking concentrate on anything other than Alice’s tits. Bet he had something to do with the stuck window, too. 

“Come ON, fucking open!” Penny muttered. 

He was desperate for fresh air. He would beg and cry if he had to - his eyes were already crying, and also did he mention fuck this? - but he just needed this goddamn window to open up, so if he could just get the latch to jiggle a little more to the left-

Aha! Fresh air!

Penny stuck his head out of the window and breathed in deeply, opening his mouth as wide as it would go like a dog on a car ride. He gulped and drank in the life-giving oxygen -- but, but it was-

“-ON’T PENNY! GET AWAY FROM THERE!”

Ugh, Quentin. Trust him to fuck up not only the air inside the classroom but the whole fucking campus as well. He would have to be funding the entire infirmary at this point. 

Sighing (and then retching), Penny pulled back to shut the window and noticed something real fucking peculiar. And creepy. 

Either he had been blinded by the horrible smell - and it was that bad, he wasn’t immediately discounting the theory - or a thick fucking fog had rolled in while Penny wasn’t paying attention. Cause he couldn't see anything. All across his field of vision was grey -- actually, it was more of a murky blue than grey, and it was moving at a surprising speed for having no conceivable end to it. And it was so thick (like Quentin, god Penny was going to fucking kill him).

“Penny! Please get away from the window!”

Quentin was pleading with him now, and Penny almost felt bad about how scared he sounded -- not entirely, though; that voice crack was hilarious. Idiot fucking deserved to be scared. Look what he had done!

He turned around to tell him just that, except for, uh, he couldn’t see him. The fog was in the room. 

The podium near Penny’s left side was a vaguely visible outline, and the front lab table even less so -- man, don’t even get him started on the desks and chairs. There was nothing. He could be in Fillory for all he knew- oh. Hell to the fucking no.

“Quentin!” He roared, “Where the fuck are we?!”

“Wh- what do you mea-- here! We’re in class! Where the hell are you?”

So that was a relief, if a disappointing one (those were called oxymorons, right? Fits. Quentin was a moron who was causing him to run out of fucking oxygen.)

“I’m by the window, dumbass! Trying to get some fresh fucking air, cause you fucking destroyed it all and replaced it with dog shit!”

This is worse than dog shit.

Oh god-fucking-damn. He did not need Quentin’s thoughts right now. Penny carefully moved forward, sweeping one foot in an arch across his path before he stepped down. 

He figured Quentin was doing the same, because he heard the rambling oh fuck what was that where am I where’s Penny I’m such an idiot oh my god was that a rat streaming through his head as Coldwater, clearly, let all his wards down in an effort to fully concentrate on navigation and breathing. 

This once, Penny couldn’t quite blame him for devoting all of his energy to the task at hand instead of blocking him off -- but it was still annoying. He was so good at concentrating and yet Quentin managed to get into his brain clear as glass. And he was so fucking annoying. 

“Fuck, Coldwater! Shut the hell up!” Penny sighed and paused, running a hand over his hair. The waves of panic were increasing. “Just stay where you are and I’ll come to you. But stop thinking, please.”

“Yeah, okay- oh! Ow, fuck…”

There was a loud crash and then Quentin's pained noises as he clearly ran into some sort of furniture. Penny sighed again. What idiot had let this guy anywhere near a spellbook? (Nevermind how powerful he occasionally was -- that didn’t make up for stupidity.)

Penny breathed deeply - the one meditation practice he admitted could help, if only to calm him down - and kept making his slow way across the room. He was pretty sure that he was in the center of the room now, but he also knew that not being able to see made distances seem much longer than they were. 

He took another step and ended up tripping over the same goddamn chair Quentin had apparently ran into, because his body landed on another guy’s that made a pathetic “ow” noise again. 

“Jesus Christ, Quent, you could of at least picked yourself back up off of… the…. floor,” he slowly trailed off, looking around. 

There was no more fog. There was no more burning smell. The classroom was exactly like it was before they had started the chant -- empty desks and chairs left behind by all the people who didn’t have slow idiot’s for lab partners, wood paneling that tried and failed to look classy, and the front lab table covered in various magical instruments. 

“What the hell?”

Quentin sat up underneath him - as much as he could - rubbing his nose and sniffing deeply. Penny agreed. The air felt amazing, like a soothing balm on his poor, abused air canals. 

He quickly realized that there was still a geek that was responsible for all this mess half-lying on the floor underneath his body, and that someone could walk in at any moment. So that was un-fucking-desirable, in multiple ways (ugh, Quentin. Just thinking about him made Penny shudder.)

With a quick brace of his arms, Penny bolted upright and took several steps away from the nerd -- back into the fog and the awful smell. 

“Ah!”

He looked around, confused and pissed off. Was this some kind of joke the kid was trying to pull on him? 

Penny tried to do a simple fire spell, then again, and again; each time more desperately than the last. Nothing. It was like the fog was muting his magic -- it was curling in scarily tentacle-like clouds around his hands, engulfing them in dense smoke and snuffing out any sparks he could have produced. 

Now Penny was panicking a little. 

He was still mostly pissed off, mostly- extremely pissed at Quentin, possibly more than he ever had been before, and frustrated with just a twinge of panic at the absence of his magic; the opposite of the nervous nellie probably still huddled around a chair leg on the floor. 

Something grabbed at his foot, and, suddenly, the smell and fog had gone away again. He could breathe and see and there was a rather large flame coming from his hands, a culmination of the previously snuffed flames all working together to express his rage through fire. 

When he looked down, Quentin was actually clinging to his foot, not a chair, and looking very nervous. What was new. Penny tried to kick him off and succeeded after a moment, the blueness invading so suddenly he didn’t even notice the smell for a second. 

Then it was gone, again - he was gonna get whiplash from this shit - and Quentin was hugging his leg, again. This time he looked more sheepish than nervous, and it made Penny want to kick him in the face. 

(Ch. 2 on Tumblr)

“I, uh- I think that the fog and the smell only happens when we’re not touching each other.”

What. 

Well, it made sense considering the last three minutes of god dicking with the light switch - not to mention Quentin’s history of idiocracy and miss-castings, but-. Come on.

“Coldwater, I. Am. Going. To. Fucking. Kill. You.”

-----

(Ch. 2 on Tumblr)

[myreyloheartisshowing]

Here’s the Thing(s)

So, I’ve mentioned a couple of issues I had with Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, but this is the first time I’ve really sat down and tried to articulate everything that rubbed me the wrong way about this film. 

Now, was this movie entertaining? Yes. Much explosion, many lightsword, guau. And, honestly, I walked out of the theater feeling generally okay. 

And then I thought about it a little. And then a lot. And then spent days obsessing over the devastation I was feeling. And why I’ve been unable to even venture onto AO3 and browse through fanfics. 

So, here’s a list, starting from the beginning. I may be missing a few things, but these are my hot takes. Please note that this has detailed SPOILERS:

The opening scrawl just gave too much away. It gave us the entire plot of a movie that never preceded TROS. You could have taken literally 2 minutes to actually show Palpatine’s broadcast instead of just tossing us into Kylo Ren’s acquisition of the (first of many) McGuffin(s). 

The reintroduction of Palpatine as the Big Bad. J.J. Abrams could have gone so many interesting directions. Explored the implications of a fanatical, fascist regime that is basically (as Zorii Bliss later alludes) enslaving the children of the universe. Highlight the dangers of power vacuums and the machinations of power-hungry generals.

The dialogue between Palpatine and Kylo Ren. My first level ESL students could have written a better exchange.

The fact that Palpatine, ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS, demands Rey’s death. Not “bring her to me and kill her in front of me so I can enjoy the death of the last Jedi,” but rather “I’d really love it if you just killed her out of my sight and maybe spaced her corpse.” 

The reintroduction of the McGuffin(s)

WHERE THE FUCK IS ROSE???? WHY IS SHE SIDELINED? (oh, right. pandering to fanbros)

Having Rey stare longingly at children before receiving an ancestors’ (i.e. fertility) necklace, and then never actually taking this symbolism any further. In retrospect, this feels like the sort of meta foreshadowing that I so enjoyed from The Last Jedi, but it’s completely wasted in the end.

The Force Bond - rather, how Rey seems to have totally regressed back to her complete and utter abhorrence of Kylo Ren. Now, part of this could be contributed to good old-fashioned feelings of rejection (Kylo Ren rejected a life as Ben Solo with her and it fucking hurts), but really it just seems like an attempt to erase the emotional nuances gifted to us by Rian Johnson. 

The convenient fall into a pit where they conveniently find a SECOND McGuffin which will, presumably, lead them to the COPY of the FIRST McGuffin (for fucks’ sake). And the convenient appearance of an enraged and hurt sand worm that Rey heals for the sheer purpose of setting up the idea that she “gave it a bit of” her “life force” (i.e., making it totally believable that, instead of utilizing Force Healing, she’s making use of a life force transfer, again trying to justify an ending that the majority of fans HATE). 

The THIRD McGuffin, which is the guy who can unlock C-3PO’s ability to decipher the stupid dagger.

The introduction of Zorii Bliss, a character whom I view as a blatant attempt to: a) be a sex symbol and pander to more fanbros; and b) prove that Poe would never even remotely entertain romantic feelings for another male-character. I don’t really mind Poe’s (surprise!) background as a spice runner, but I’m a little confused on the timeline. Like, was he doing that when he was still a pilot of the New Republic, in the early days of the Resistance?

I’m torn over the Force Bond scene in Kylo Ren’s quarters. On the one hand, he’s spent an unknown amount of time searching for his space girlfriend, only for her to appear in his rooms (perfect fanfic plot). On the other hand, their interaction, again, feels like an emotional regression.

Rey Palpatine. How lazy. How stupid. I really liked the idea that a simple nobody from Jakku could move the universe. That a non-legacy character could become the future of the Jedi. That a simple scavenger from Jakku could be one half of a powerful Dyad. Lazy, Lazy, Lazy. And clear pandering, yet again, to the whiny fanbros.

The idea that Rey’s parents SOLD HER to “protect her,” and again establishing that it was because Palpatine wanted her, inexplicably, DEAD. 

The fact that Palpatine more than likely got freaky when he was Emperor? The implication being that it was, more than likely, rape, is huge and very alarming. And the fact that my space babies never got to roll around in the sand but Emperor Palpatine got laid instead?

That Hux was the spy and he did it just to stick it to Kylo Ren? Honestly, I just loved the HCs that made Hux much more intelligent. But I do, however, believe he could have been that petty. 

THE DAGGER CONVENIENTLY HAS A COMPASS that points to the exact location of the Wayfinder on the wreckage of the Death Star. Like, do you realize this means that whoever made the stupid dagger did it after the destruction of the Death Star. UGH. Lazy. Lazy. Lazy. 

I have nothing to say about the fight on the Death Star except that I wish they had made it more obvious that Rey was wrestling with the Dark Side after the revelations of her past, her encounter with Dark Rey!, etc. Otherwise, it just feels like more retconning of the wealth of emotions brought about in The Last Jedi. 

Surprise! Palpatine didn’t want Rey dead, he just wanted to possess her body???

The fact that the Knights of Ren really only ended up as a side note. I would have loved to see more.

All the sacrifices made by the legacy characters - Han, Luke, Leia - are cheapened by Ben’s Death. Those three characters spent their last breaths hoping to reach Ben Solo and bring him back to the light. And, admittedly, it did happen. But for him to die? 

Oh, and the fact that both Luke and Leia apparently knew about Rey’s heritage and just decided “hey, this girl has the potential to dive deep into the Dark Side, but we’ll guide her through it” even though they completely gave up on their own flesh and blood ... Even though they were aware that Ben had been manipulated by Snoke (Palps 2.0) from the womb ...

Rey doesn’t mourn. Not one bit. Nothing. Literally the other half of her soul is gone and Ben Solo is never thought of again. 

Rey lives out her day on Tatooine, regressing to the little girl in the desert once more (they even show her sliding down the sand dune). No family is around her, no hint of communication with Finn, Poe, Chewie, anyone. 

This movie tried to do so much in so little time. It was filled to the brim and the quality suffered for it. J.J. so obviously tried to pander to fanbros and appeared to be directly retconning many of ideas and threads from The Last Jedi. There also appeared to have been no cohesive storyboard for the Sequel Trilogy before they started production of Episode VII. And it shows.

That’s just what I’ve managed to remember from the film. 

Now, in the interest of fairness and balance, there were things I enjoyed:

The visuals. Gotta love good old-fashioned space fights

Finn is FORCE SENSITIVE!

Jannah and the other ex-Stormtroopers. There’s so much potential there.

While I was acutely aware that Leia’s scenes were leftover bits from other films, I thought that her inclusion in the film was very tastefully done. Her final sacrifice to reach Ben was quite moving. 

The droids. The moments with C-3PO. Just. I love them all so much. 

Poe’s fed-up attitude with C-3PO. Much needed humor. Much needed.

While I HATE that Ben Solo died, I also liked the implication that he thoroughly gave himself over to heal Rey. It’s a direct mirror image of Anakin. I like this symbolism. I really, really do. It was just poorly executed.

The Dyad. Again, this had so much potential, I just think it was completely and totally wasted.

The fight on the Death Star

That Rey didn’t kill Palpatine by taking the offensive. Instead, she lived up to the Jedi spirit of defense over attack.

Rey’s lightsaber at the end.  

[atamascolily]

Lily liveblogs: “The Rise of Skywalker,” part two

Neener, neener, world-building is for losers. Not to mention plot, character development, and general coherence.

(Or, fifty ideas in a trench coat pretending to be one movie.)

Look, you get ONE fetch quest per film, and we've already exceeded the limit here, please stop... [does not stop]

Poe literally has to ask to kiss Zorii because she's wearing a mask, lol. I mean, I like to think he would anyway, but... just saying.

They literally slot the medallion into the designated coin slot and that's it, it's over so fast, lololololol.

Like, the FO lets them in because they have a medallion and then only sends two troopers to investigate because Something Is Clearly Up? LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Okay, they're just going to straight up assault the Star Destroyer. 10/10 for style. Refuge in audacity and all that. Fine, whatever.

Finn ought to have some idea about the layout of the place, didn't the FO teach him that stuff when he was a stormtrooper? Or at least enough to have a hint. Or are they just going to wander around without a clue and magically find the right spot??

Oh, Rey's mastered the mind-trick now, good to know. (*Legally Blonde voice* "What, like it's hard?")

Poe's question if Rey does that to him and Finn is 100% spot on and he is RIGHT to ask that because the mind trick is SUPER INVASIVE and can be badly misused.Given how recalcitrant Poe’s been, I’m sure she’s been tempted.

Rey is so concerned about Chewie until she gets distracted by the dagger, sigh... [Han Solo voice] Convenient. [/Han Solo voice.]

Why do they need the dagger macguffin if they already have the coordinates? What a stupid thing to get Rey alone so she and Kylo can have a moment.

Kylo searching through Kijimi for Rey like he's got no fucking clue, lololol. So much for their "Force bond" here.

Does Finn feel, like, anything for the troopers he's shooting? I mean, obviously not in the heat of battle, but like, ever? Considering that his friend's death on Jakku was what snapped him out of the FO brainwashing in the first place... so he knows it's possible for the others to change. So... what a wasted opportunity here.

Literally, all of the troopers are patrolling either in pairs or alone, that is so dumb if there's actually an alert out on the ship for them.

Is Poe having PTSD flashbacks to the last time he got captured by the FO? Because I would, if I were in his shoes.

Rey picks up the dagger and has flashbacks again PSYCHOMETRY PSYCHOMETRY PSYCHOMETRY PSYCHOMETRY

Okay, the FUCK is going on with this fight scene. Where is she, really? Is she Force projecting? How can she do that when it killed Luke? How can BOTH of them be in two places at once? Ie, it's not that Rey is suddenly having an out-of-body experience and fighting Kylo on a spiritual plane in Kijimi - she's also fighting in Kylo's room, and even though I could see her body moving in time with her mind, is Kylo projecting himself into his room with HER, too? What is happening?

I feel like this scene would be so much more powerful if we established some parameters for HOW THIS POWER FUCKING WORKS so I know what the stakes are. Wouldn't it be interesting if this moved used life force, for instance, the same way that healing did? What are the restrictions/limitations? Why is none of this ever explained? It just happens... waaaaaahhhhhhh

I really love it when this is an open question in works that are thematically ABOUT "is it a dream? is it real? is it a mindfuck?" [see: Inception] but that's NOT THE POINT OF THIS FILM, this is a side issue, so it SHOULDN'T BE A MYSTERY, it should be actually intelligible to me what is going on even if I don't understand all the intricacies.

It does look cool, though. I'll grant them that much. The aesthetics of a night fight in the falling stone are ON POINT. Too bad the fight doesn't really use much of its scenery to any advantage. This could be literally anywhere for all that the characters draw on their surroundings.

"Wherever you are, you are hard to find." So smooth, Kylo.

Rey VERY CLEARLY SAYS "I don't want this!" in response to Kylo's "I've been in your head". Because consent is for LOSERs, am I right? [/sarcasm] ugghhhhhhh

"Your parents are no one...." but turns out they were actually someone! Never mind we never get their names or backstory anywhere! That might make them... interesting! Or even RELEVANT.

Okay, so stuff from Kijimi is literally spilling into the star destroyer and vice versa, is that actually happening or is that just a visual metaphor/dream sequence, I really need to know wtf is going on here.

Kylo using his knowledge of/from Palpatine to manipulate Rey is terrible but actually something he would do... and kinda clever. I'll grant him that much.

Ochi looks just like a twisted version of Maz, except taller... does that mean anything? probably not!

We literally have no connection to these two random new characters so their fate does not resonate as much as it SHOULD HAVE. Which one was Palpatine's kid? How did he HAVE kids in the first place? What was said kid's life like? Why did they grow up to run away and defy their dad? How did they meet the other partner? How did all this, you know, HAPPEN??

And why did Palpatine send an agent to kill them instead of killing/tortuing them himself, since they clearly had info he was interested in? THE FUCK.

I was hoping the Vader mask would finally be destroyed, but NOOOOOOOOOOO.

Lol how Kylo's like "I'm gonna only tell you the rest of the story in person" as if they weren't already fighting face to face in some weird dream-reality hybrid thingy. Kylo, you are so desperate and so so so so dumb.

LOL, Hux being all dramatic here. "I'm the spy!"

This just gets funnier when you remember how Poe trolled the SHIT out of him at the beginning of TLJ, so Poe has NO CLUE (because the writers didn't either until just now, natch), AND why Poe's reaction when Hux says he's gonna "do it himself" (ie, murder Poe) is so on point.

I approve of Rey looting Kylo's room before running off. Too bad she doesn't smash the Vader mask and be done with it. At least Chewie gets his crossbow back.

"I don't care if you win. I need Kylo Ren to lose." 10/10, excellent character motivation, and I approve. Hux is such a bastard and Kylo totally deserves this betrayal. (also: the Imperial philosophy in a nutshell.)

I'm not averse per se to Rey Palpatine, but this way of handling it is total bullshit and an asspull, sigh.

Oh, no, here comes the Force dyad nonsense. "We have no choice but to be together because we're SOULMATES! I'm stalking you because I LOVE YOU and it's DESTINY, Rey!" </sarcasm>

Oh, the destroyer is still in the atmosphere over Kijimi and not in space, I see. getting bespin feels here. This should have happened in the second movie not halfway through the third.

Yup, there's the "join me and rule the galaxy" offer right on cue.

Taking off your mask does not help here, Kylo. No one cares about your puppy dog eyes, you fucking stalker.

yeah, she would have jumped if the Falcon hadn't shown up right at the last minute, lol.

[Honestly, I would have had her jump and land smack on the back of the Falcon, but that may just be my twisted sense of humor talking.]

love kylo's dismay as she gets away. EXCELLENT LEAP. And Finn is wearing an oxygen mask, which is a detail which I <3!

Hux just dies with no drama, which is too bad, but also soooo typical of Imperial/FO management style. Live by the sword, die by the sword. Good thing your pettiness lives on!

(Pryde is clearly the Real Villain now that Hux is Actually Good, I see what you did there.)

I hate how Rey literally shuts Finn out here, when he is TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND REMIND HER SHE'S A GOOD PERSON and Rey is so confused by Kylo's constant gaslighting that she ignores him. Like, psychologically understandable (and sad) but I fucking hate it. Finn deserves so much better than this.

Palpatine talks in Kylo's head... how? why? Why does Palps have this kind of connection with Kylo when he had to make hologram calls to Vader the old-fashioned way? (I know they established at the beginning of the film that they had this relationship, but it's still odd and inexplicable. Like the whole thing that was supposed to make Mara Jade special was that she could hear his voice anywhere in the galaxy... and Kylo's just... got that... for no reason? Because Palps targeted him since he was a kid???

(Keep in mind Kylo was concieved RIGHT AFTER ENDOR, so I dunno what Palps was up to or how long it would take him to get a body or LITERALLY ANY WAY IN WHICH THIS WOULD MAKE LOGISTICAL SENSE.)

It's a moon of Endor, but a DIFFERENT moon of Endor, fine, okay, and we're going to ignore the whole "How did the Death Star ruins get here, anyway?" because that's a world-building problem of an entirely different order of magnitude and just roll with it.

I do believe Rey is mentally running the numbers on Death Star scrap/value of kyber crystals on the open market here, because old habits die hard. And that is such a gorgeous shot, with the cliffs and the churning sea and the ruins.

Oh, I see, the wayfinder was on the moon because it was in the Death Star with Palps and somehow... didn't explode or get sucked out into the vacuum of space. That's a leap, but okay, whatever, fine.

using a macguffin to find another macguffin, wow.

I don't literally don't understand how this dagger is supposed to work as a compass, but fine, whatever. now we will never see it again.

Jannah looks great, I love her character design, but unfortunately, this movie is going to spend very little time exploring the world she lives in because we have to rush onto the next thing, sigh. And apparently, they know about the Resistance! Okay. And they know Babu Frik... or Babu Frik knows them enough to call in some favors...? WHAT.

So it's too dangerous to travel on the water because the waves are so big... which means some killer tides! That is actually interesting, but Rey just overrides everyone and goes anyway (alone!!) so I don't even know why this comes up as an obstacle if it is instantly resolved. This film keeps doing that, and it is not as cute as the director thinks it is.

Finn and Jannah bond over being ex-FO, and this film should spend wayyyy more time on this than it does. THEY BOTH HAD "FEELINGS" ABOUT WHAT WAS RIGHT AND THEY OVERCAME THEIR BRAINWASHING -- Finn is talking about the feeling and calling it "the Force," this is great, AND MY HEART IS DISSOLVING IN A MILLION FEELS AND I JUST... WANT THIS TO FREAKIN' MATTER... why is Finn so sure the Force is real? Faith? Or because he's actually a Jedi, too? (You already know which one I believe here. MAKE HIM A JEDI YOU COWARDS.)

Rey just fucks off and steals Jannah's boat? Where... was it? How did she find it? What... how does that even make sense??

too bad they don't have a working ship, they could just FLY over the ocean instead of surmounting the waves for extra unnecessary drama, lol.

Please keep in mind that Rey grew up in a fucking desert. That she cannot (despite what TLJ might have told you) swim. Yet she is on a boat in an ocean alone. This is a terrible idea. (I'm not going to say it's OOC, because Rey would, in fact, totally do this--just emphasizing how bad an idea this is.)

Finn says, "You have no idea what she's fighting" to Poe... who does know, actually. Kylo tortured him at the beginning of TFA, just like he tried to do later in that film to Rey. Surely Finn should... know this?

If Finn and Poe are going to fight here, fine, this is just a stupid argument. Finn says he and Leia know what Rey is up against and Poe says, I'm not Leia, YES WE NOTICED POE.

Whyyyy is Poe the Team Skeptic here and such a grouch?? not cool.

"That's for damn sure." OH SNAP. And also, actual profanity in Star Wars? Whoa!

Of course Finn is going to go after her.

I will say this: the Death Star ruins look hella cool. also, a nice callback to the beginning of TFA where Rey is exploring the Star Destroyer ruins.

my goodness, the upper arm strength required. I love this scene. they should have made Palpatine's ghost haunting the ruins so we could have the final boss fight here - that would make so much more since than him fucking off to Exegol of all places.

(the ruins are totally my aesthetic, tho.)

And the Sith wayfinder.. is just floating in midair. In the ruins of the Death Star that shouldn't exist. In some sort of chamber with no security whatsoever. wowwwwww. Oh, okay, it's in some sort of suspended chamber thingy, but still.... security measures??

Hey, Rey touches it, and experiences a creepy vision--PSYCHOMETRY, ANYONE? A security measure? Oh, no, just a crazy Force vision... maybe? I don't know anymore. I don't know why.

The double-bladed quarterstaff lightsaber is super cool, though.

Rey fighting her evil self in the crumbling tech ruins is TOTALLY MY AESTHETIC YESSSSSSSSS.

since Rey gets a vision when she touches the wayfinder and is released when she lets go of it, I honestly wonder what the other wayfinder said to Kylo, if he experienced anything when he touched it.

speaking of which, there's kylo! ughhhhh.

Like, literally Rey could have stolen the Sith wayfinder from Kylo if he had left it in his room, and she blew up at least one of his TIE fighters that had it so... I don't even know if Kylo has one anymore. Maybe he doesn't need it? WHATEVER.

Rey is not amused. GIVE ME MY MACGUFFIN!

This is, for the record, the THIRD FIGHT between Kylo and Rey in this film, please just kill him already.

Kylo trying to gaslight Rey about not being a Jedi and how she's proven she's not and she'll disappoint Leia. HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK LEIA FEELS ABOUT YOU, KYLO??? PROJECTING MUCH???

"Like I can't [go back to Leia]." Ooooohhhhhhh, forced teaming there, way to make your move by claiming to show vulnerability. YOU CHOSE THIS. YOU CHOSE THAT PATH. SHE SENT HAN TO BRING YOU HOME AND YOU MURDERED HIM BECAUSE SNOKE TOLD YOU TO SO YOU COULD LEVEL UP IN HIS STUPID DEATH CULT AND SNOKE TURNED OUT TO BE A PUPPET SO IT WAS ALL FOR NAUGHT, YOU ASSHOLE, and NOW YOU'RE TRYING GASLIGHT REY BY PROJECTING YOUR FAILURES ONTO HER.

And he shatters the macguffin rather than let her have it because he's that much of an asshole.

He doesn't pull out his lightsaber until several seconds in, just moves around because he genuinely doesn't want to hurt her even though he just provoked her into losing her temper to prove a point.

It's raining back on Jungle Planet for ATMOSPHERE and Leia is having a Force Vision of DOOOOOOOM, this was oh so clearly supposed to be for Han's death in TFA, but noooooooooooo we're using it here.

(Also, how is it not raining on the tech, I think there are roofs, but it's so hard to tell.)

Maz is so dramatic about this. "Leia knows what must be done, Artoo." Yes, Kylo is going down.

The aesthetics of the ocean ruins fight scene are 100% my jam, not gonna lie, it looks very cool.

So, once again, the Supreme Leader went off on his own... without backup... not even his own private biker gang.... AGAIN. I just.... can't even... what an idiot. What an absolute idiot.

Good thing Finn and Jannah are here, though I doubt the narrative will actually let them do much. I wish Finn and/or Jannah would just shoot Kylo here once Rey gives them an opening, but no, they're just going to stand there helpless.  

I get why Rey pushes them away so Kylo won't use them against her as hostages, but STILL. THERE ARE THREE OF YOU AND ONE OF HIM. USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE, REY.

drenched unhappy Kylo Ren is excellent, yesssss.

This is the first time I've seen anyone use the Force to halt the blade of a lightsaber... interesting.

Rey is treating her lightsaber like it's one-half of a quarterstaff, I LOVE it, but it also begs the question why didn't she just make a double-bladed saber (with, say, a split kyber crystal from TLJ?) in the first place instead of using a weapon that clearly doesn't work for her as well????

Leia could have reached out to her son at any moment, but she chose not to because she needed to save her strength... but Palps can talk to Kylo across the galaxy and he's fine?? And Kylo and Rey can be in two different places and be just fine (yeah okay, Force dyad soulmates whatever whatever)??? THIS MAKES NO SENSE.

Rey stabbing Kylo with his own damn blade is POETIC CINEMA and also justice. FINALLY.

I think if there were any questions about whether Rey has killed someone, the answer in this scene is no. I can't tell if she's crying for Leia, for shock, for relief, for grief and regret over murdering Kylo, or what.

WHY DOES SHE USE HER LIFE FORCE TO HEAL HIM? WHY? WHY? WHY??????????? (give me a motivation, I dont know what her motivation is here, I dont know why she makes this sacrifice to HIM of all people and I feel like I really should know for this scene to have emotional impact but it doesn't).

LEIA SACRIFICED HERSELF FOR YOU, REY, AND YOU'RE JUST GOING THROW IT AWAY LIKE THIS???

Now, if this movie were actually serious about Kylo and Rey being a Force dyad or two halves of the same whole, then we, the audience, would realize along with Rey that she can't let Kylo die without hurting herself... which I'm not sure I would enjoy, but would at least be COHERENT and fit into the ESTABLISHED WORLDBUILDING even if said worldbuilding is dumb and personally offensive to me. I'M JUST SAYING THERE ARE OPTIONS HERE, YOU TOTALLY HAD OPTIONS THAT WOULD HAVE MADE NARRATIVE SENSE SO I DIDN’T HAVE TO DO IT FOR YOU ON THE SPOT. 

"I did want to take your hand. Ben's hand." We know that. That was the whole ending of TLJ. Why is this such a shock now??? She already said that at the end of the last movie, so what have we accomplished since? Absolutely nothing has changed on that front, Kylo!!

Also, Kylo--she saved your life when she didn't have to, and you can't even say Thank you? YOU UNGRATEFUL ASSHOLE.

{there's one hour left in this movie WHATTTTTTTTTTTTT how is that even possible}

lol, she just straight up steals his ship.... which is just perched on top of the ruins nearby and hasn't been damaged at all by spray... and which should ALSO have the wayfinder macguffin in it.... so she's going to Exegol, right? The thing she's been wanting to do for the whole movie? The thing that they only have what, four hours left before the attack or whatever?

NOPE. She goes to Ahch-To. Because of course she does.

I hate this fucking movie so much.

[love-fireflysong]

Day 9: Pet

Fandom: Until Dawn Character(s): Chris Hartley, Ashley Brown  Words: 3506 Rating: General  Author’s Notes: Fucking hell. This is so late. I am so sorry. I didn’t expect this to get nearly as long as it did. But to make up for the absolute horror I wrote yesterday Monday, here’s just the worst pining. Like the worst. It’s awful. Nothing but the purest, free-range Chrashley pining here folks! There isn’t even a plot, or at least there wasn’t supposed to be. Apparently I can’t write fluff without a build-up. 

Neither couldn’t place exactly when it all started. Or at least, when something changed between them. Really changed. They had always been more obvious about their affections then either would have liked, not that the other had ever noticed of course. Fond smiles when the other had said something even a little bit endearing. Longing looks when backs were turned. Touches and hugs that always tended to last a linger or last longer than what would have been appropriate for friends who absolutely did not have a crush on each other. 

Each day they spent together was a torture, a reminder that no matter what, there was no way that they felt the same way about each other. But it was always better then the alternative, feeling like a dagger was being shoved into their hearts every moment they were apart. So they endured, hoping in equal turns for either the feelings to fade (it didn’t) or for the other person to finally look their way (they always had).

And while they don’t know when things changed, they can pin point the two singular moments when it shifted.

-----------------------------------------

"Just use a pillow, Chris.”

“I would love to Ash, I really would. But I seem to recall that you stole all the pillows and are holding a monopoly on them right now.”

Chris wasn’t lying. He and Ashley were hanging on out on the couch in his and Josh’s dorm room, and she had shoved every single pillow (all two of them) in the dorm behind her on the couch.

“It’s not my fault that your couch has the worst lumps I have ever felt before. And some how only on the back and arms of this thing. Seriously, how do you two sit on here?”

Chris poked at one of the said lumps as he regarded Ash with a flat look. “We don’t. Unlike you, Josh and I don’t read on the couch—”

“I have never once seen either of you read a book that wasn’t a comic.”

“Really not the point, Ash. Also, rude. You’re not wrong, but you’re also being very rude.”

From where she had curled herself up in the corner, legs tucked under her, Ashley stuck out her tongue at Chris. “I still don’t understand why you or Josh haven’t replaced the thing yet. It’s not like neither of you could afford it.”

Chris gave a short snort. “It’s not like Josh couldn’t afford it. Do I look like I have a couple of hundred chilling for a couch? I barely have enough money to pay Josh when he gets back with the pizza. Anyway, it came with the dorm so it would be a big no-no if we tossed it.”

“I still don’t understand why Josh had to go to get the pizza in the first place.”

“The place doesn’t like to deliver on campus. Apparently a delivery driver got their car completely covered in spray paint or something when they had to deliver during frosh week a few years back.”

“...How much longer till he gets back with the pizza?”

As if knowing that he was being talked about, and honestly with Josh, it was entirely probable, Chris’s phone went off with a beep of an incoming text message. “Uh, hold on. He just texted.” Chris looked at the screen for a moment, and groaned. “Shit. He says that something happened at the restaurant and they managed to lose our pizza. Gave it to the wrong Josh W. apparently. So they’re making us a new one.” 

“Are you serious? Really?”

“Unfortunately. Wait. He’s sending something else.” Chris’s face lit up like a child on Christmas morning. “Oh fuck yeah!”

“What? What?! You can’t leave me hanging like that Chris!”

“He says that as an apology, the place is giving us a free order of garlic cheese breadsticks!”

“Ooooh. That is good news.”

Chris nodded excitedly. “It’s gonna be another half-hour or so until they finish making it though.”

“That’s fine.” Ash shrugged, and then sighed happily. “It’s worth the wait for some of the cheesy garlic-y goodness coming our way. Plus, I’ll be able to finish another chapter or two of my book while we wait.”

“Gee thanks, Ash. Glad to know that you would rather read a book then spend your time with me.”

“Oh, Chris,” she smiled brightly and reached out to pat his leg comfortingly. “You’ve always known that.”

Chris narrowed his eyes. “Oh, I see how it is. Fine then, if that’s the way you want to play it...” Before he could think it through, or she could react, he flopped over onto his back and placed his head onto her lap.

“Chris! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

He shrugged as he shifted around a bit to make himself more comfortable. You stole all the pillows to read your book, so I decided to do the same. You’re my pillow now.”

“Oh my god. You don’t even have a book.”

Chris waved his phone in front of her face. “Newsflash, I don’t need a book. Got all the things I could ever read right here. Twitter and facebook and tumblr and games all at my fingertips. God. Join the 21st century Ash.”

She didn’t say anything, just smacked him lightly in the forehead with her book.

“I don’t think pillows are supposed to fight back.”

“Then get off, dingus.”

“Too late, I’m comfortable now. And I don’t think pillows are supposed to talk either.”

Conversation between the two of them trailed off after that, Ash opening her book to where she had last left off with an long-suffering sigh, and Chris turning on his phone. Except, as he mindlessly scrolled through whatever social media app he had randomly clicked on, his mind was not on the phone. Not at all. Nope, his mind had suddenly realized that his head was in Ashley’s lap and it was all he could think about.

It shouldn’t be awkward though! Friends did stuff like this all the time, using each other for pillow, right? At least, Josh certainly did. He was liable to sprawl across anyone’s unguarded lap if they weren’t careful. Hell, he had done it to Chris just this morning! But Josh didn’t have a huge, stupid crush on the person’s whose lap he was sprawled on (or at least, Chris didn’t think so?). But this was fine. It was normal and he could do this! He would not panic and turn into a blushing moron! Which was the mantra he kept up in his head, over and over to distract himself from the realization that she really did make a good pillow.

Which was why he didn’t notice that Ash’s fingers had been running through his hair for the last couple of minutes.

The moment he did though, Chris froze like a statue. His eyes slowly moving so he could look at her in the face. But her eyes were on her book, moving back and forth as she continued to read, and she flicked a page one-handed with practiced ease. She had no idea what she was doing. Probably thought she was petting a cat or something. Yeah! He thinks he remembers her mentioning once or twice that one of her cats at home likes to curl up into her lap when she reads. So she probably just thought that she was petting her cat! That was a thing, right?

He catches her lick her lips when she flicks another page, and averts his eyes, face turning a shocking shade of pink. Only to completely forget that when one of her nails lightly scrapes his scalp by accident and he sucks in a gasp between clenched teeth. It hadn’t been a gasp of pain though, no siree Bob, not at all! It was almost scary how intense the jolt of pleasure that shot up his spine was. He nervously chances another glance at Ash to make sure she hadn’t caught that,  only to watch her wet her lips again and swallow. 

Chris can honestly say in this moment that stopping her is the last thing on his mind. In fact, if he were to make a list of all of the things going on in his mind right now, stopping her isn’t even on it.

So instead, he closes his eyes, phone long forgotten, and just centers on the feel of her fingers running methodically through his hair. On her nails catching every so often on his scalp to scrape at it.. On the sound of her peaceful breathing. On the rustle of a page turning every so often in semi-regular intervals.

He decides that if Josh takes a little longer to bring the pizza, then that’s fine. Chris is more than happy to just stay here like this.

---------------------------------------------------------------

She really hoped that one of them was home. Really, really hoped as she banged on the door to the boy’s dorm with her fist. She was ready to admit that maybe she should have texted them first, but well, today just really hadn’t been her day so far.

Finally, finally, she heard movement on the other side of the door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming! Hold your goddamn horses!”

Chris. Part of Ash was really, really glad that it was Chris. Another, just as large, part was really, really bummed that it was Chris.

Yup, it really wasn’t her day. She continued to bang in hope that it would get him to the door faster anyway.

“Holy fuck, I said I was coming! If this is you Brian, then I swear to God—” the door swings open inward and Ash gives a bashful smile. “—Jesus H Christ Ash! What the hell happened to you?!”

She knows that she’s a sight. Dripping wet and covered in mud, and dripping all of this onto their entryway. She sneezes and smiles weakly.

“Hey Chris. Mind if I steal your shower?”

Chris doesn’t even answer her, pulling her into the dorm room and yelling over his shoulder towards the bathroom. “Josh! I need you to get your ass out of the shower! Now!”

She makes out Josh’s voice muffled through the shower and the door separating them. “What the hell, dude! I just got in here!”

“Don’t give a shit! Ash needs it more!” Chris moves to grab her unsurprisingly also soaked school bag and begins to hurriedly remove her thankfully still dry textbooks and binders from within. He places them carefully on the nearby table and she finds herself falling further in love with him all the more for it.

“Ash? What’s she doing here? Doesn’t she have her own shower? She can go home and use that one! This one’s got my name all over it for at least the next twenty minutes!”

Cold and miserable and soaked to the bone, Ashley finds she just doesn’t care anymore. “Joshua Washington! You get your goddamn ass out of that shower in the next five minutes or I swear to God I will rip you out of there myself!” She catches Chris staring at her in a mix of fear, awe, and something else she can’t quite place but makes her stand just a little taller despite the fact she’s shivering and literally looks like a drowned rat and creating a puddle the size of Moscow on his floor. 

There’s a stumble and what may be the sound of a bottle dropping onto the shower floor. “I’m moving, I’m moving! Fucking hell, can’t a guy even shower in peace anymore?”

To his credit, Josh is only in the shower another two or so minutes, and when he opens the bathroom door he stops to stare at her stunned. “Holy Hannibal. What happened to you?”

Ash growls as she pushes past Josh (or would have, if he hadn’t jumped out of the way) and into the sanctum of the bathroom, already dreaming of the hot water on her skin. “I’ll tell you after. Shower first, story second.” With that, she slams the door behind her.

She’s also ready to admit that she spends an altogether too long amount of time in the shower. But she’s covered in mud and cold so really, who can blame her? She also spends a far longer amount of time staring at the bottle of body wash that she knows is Chris’s as she debates whether to use it or not, but she’s less likely to admit that one.

Finished, her skin and hair no longer a muddy brown, but the usual pasty white and dull auburn, Ash feels better then she has in hours. Refreshed and ready to take on the world, or at least the asshole in the Chevy. A hesitant knock at the bathroom door startles her, and with a grey and green striped towel wrapped around her, she opens the door a crack and stares out into Chris’s face, eyes upturned and face pink as he resolutely does not look at her but at a dark stain she knows is just above the doorway. Before she can say a word, Chris shoves an old grocery bag at her and a set of dry clothes.

“Here. Put your clothes into the bag and I’ll throw them in the washer downstairs.”

Ash feels her face redden to match his and reaches out to carefully grab the bag and clothes (where did he manage to find some clothes for her?). “Just give me a sec.” Keeping the door open just a crack, she starts shoving her sopping wet and muddy clothes into the bag and hand it to Chris. “I don’t have my wallet, sorry. Forgot it in the English building earlier.” 

“It’s fine. We’ll figure something out.” With that, Chris grabs the bag and turns to  walk stiffly away,probably to go and search for some change she assumes. She can’t help the stupidly fond smile that comes to her face as she closes the bathroom door and starts to get changed. Only for the smile to drop when she realizes that the clothes she’s holding is a sleep shirt of Chris’s that she is able to recognize on sight, an old grey number with the classic PlayStation logo he had found in a game store years ago, and a pair of dark blue sweats with a waist cord. Oh. 

She spends a moment to debate even putting on the clothes, but realizes that her choices are either a: walk around the dorm in a towel (nope, not happening), b: confine herself to the bathroom until her clothes are clean (at least an hour’s wait, not ideal), or c: wear his clothes (towel is starting to look like a more attractive prospect honestly).

Feeling like her entire body is blushing, she puts on the shirt and pants, thanking the heavens that her underwear had managed to survive her unexpected bath relatively dry. The shirt is almost comically large on her, the collar keeps slipping to showcase one shoulder bare of any bra strap (her underwear may have survived, by the bra unfortunately did not), and the sweats she has to roll up at least five times so she won’t trip and break her neck. As she tightens the cord around her waist as much as she can, Ash stares at herself in the still foggy bathroom mirror, face as red as her hair and wearing her best friend/major crush’s clothes. 

She is suddenly really relieved that she opted not to use the body wash now. Wearing his clothes and smelling like him? She probably would have self-combusted on the spot.

Grabbing an extra towel on the rack, she takes a deep breath for courage and opens the door of the bathroom. She notices Chris’s back as he’s standing in front of the microwave and hurriedly starts to towel dry her hair as a way to hide her burning face.

“I’m making you some hot chocolate if you’re okay with that. Figured that you might want some.”

She sighs happily at that. “You figured right. Hot chocolate sounds like heaven right now.” She takes a moment to realize that someone is missing. “Where did Josh vanish off to?”

“He’s digging in the car for some spare change for the laundry room, should be back up in a—” he turns around and starts choking on nothing.

“You okay?”

Still coughing and face just as red as hers, he wave a hand though his voice is strained when he speaks, really, wheezes. “Fine, I’m fine! Just-just dust, you know? Really should dust more often.”

Ashley tilts her head to look at him in confusion. “I guess?”

“Yup. Just dust. Go and sit down on the couch, I’ll bring you the hot chocolate when it finishes.” His voice is still strained when he waves her towards their lumpy couch.

She sits on it, and abandons the towel to run her fingers through her hair to try and break up knots and get some degree of neatness without a brush. Barely a minute later, Chris walks over and hands her the mug of cocoa. Somehow, they manage to get the mug to exchange hands without their fingers brushing. Good, she’s already obvious enough with how red her face still is.

Slowly, Chris sits next to her on the couch, his fingers tapping a beat on his knees. “Why were you using your fingers?”

Ash blows on the mug, hoping that she can claim the steam as an excuse for her face. “Forgot my brush in the English Building, too.”

“Oh. Um.” she watches Chris take a deep breath, his hands now digging into the fabric of his jeans, holding on as if his life depended on it. “I-I can help with that?”

Ash blinks, not quite understanding where he’s going with this. “I mean, sure?”

To her absolute shock, instead of just leaving to go and grab her stuff from the English Building like she expected, he instead starts to comb his fingers through her hair. The only reason she doesn’t drop the mug in shock is because she immediately tenses at the contact and just grips onto it harder.

For a moment, both are silent, nothing but the sound of Chris running his fingers through her still damp hair, breaking tangles and knots as gently as he can. It’s all she can do to stop from flinching when his hand reaches the bottom of her hair and brushes her bared shoulder.

“So,” Chris’s voice is high-pitched and strained as he speaks, “what happened?”

“What?” Unfortunately, hers is just as strained and somehow pitched higher then his.

“You came here looking like you decided to take a walk through a hurricane, but it’s not even raining outside. What the hell happened to you?”

“Oh. That.” Hands shaking and face burning, Ash struggles to take a sip of the hot chocolate with dumping it on herself in the process. His fingers through her hair is entirely too distracting but she can’t bring herself to make him stop. “You know that huge puddle by the library? I was walking by it to get back to the English Building when some dick in a Chevy decided to drive right through it and soak me. I only came here because your shower was closer.”

“Are you serious? What a fucking asshole. Why didn’t you text though? I would have picked you up at the library and brought you to the campus.”

“Yeah, well, unfortunately I left my phone in the English Building too, I was in such a hurry to leave and study, that I managed to forget an entire bag there.”

Chris gave a short, quiet laugh behind her. “Just not the one with the books of course.” His fingers catch on a particularly large tangle and her breath catches. She can hear him suck a breath in behind her. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. Don’t be sorry.” It is. It’s really, really fine. She kinds wants him to do it again, and her face somehow burns hotter at the the thought.

“Okay, If your sure.” He continues with with calming motion, conversation done as she just closes her eyes and decides to fully enjoy and embrace what will never ever happen again. Until that is, he accidentally rubs his fingernail along the back of her neck, the blunt edge scraping the skin slightly as it runs down. 

She can’t help the gasp that leaves her as it happens, her back arching a bit at the sensation. She turns around and looks at Chris, knowing that there is no explaining away her reaction just now.  Both their eyes are wide and and they’re breathing far too heavily for what had just happened.

Behind them, the front door slams open and they spring apart. “Hey Cochise! You got another twenty-five cents hidden around somewhere? We’re short a fucking quarter to run the dryer!”

--------------------------------------------------------

So yeah. While they don’t know when things changed. They sure as hell know when they shifted.

[bellemorte180]

If I Die Before I Wake: Chapter Four

Vengeance is defined as punishment or retribution for a wrong committed against another. A single curse could derail and weaken the most powerful being in the world. A single massacre could take the entire world in one go; but it could centuries to execute the perfect vengeance.

Chapter Four:

Mystic Falls April 2010

A new day dawned and the town went on how it normally did; with the exception of the few inhabitants. Bonnie was practically glued to Freya's side, training as though her life depended on it. She had a realization that the only way out of this mess was to listen to Freya and wake Klaus's wife. So she played along, staying at the Boarding House and meeting with Freya until the sun set.

Damon vanished the moment Freya's spell let him drop to the ground. Everyone assumed that he was trying to find some scheme to save Elena, who Freya assured Bonnie was perfectly fine. Stefan remained in his room, sorting through his emotions. He replayed every memory from the twenties in his mind. The love he felt for Rebekah returned with a force but that didn't stop his heart from loving Elena. Part of him wanted to rescue Elena while the other wanted to run to Rebekah and see her for the first time in ninety years. Incapable of deciding what was right, he decided to wait it out. Holding out that Elena was safe and well.

It was the Original family that seemed to have the most productive of times. Finn fled the moment he realized nearly nine hundred years had passed since he had a dagger in his chest. He spent an evening with Freya, whom he was close to before their aunt stole her away, and then vanished. Everyone assumed he went to search for Sage. It was actually Klaus who was the least angry at him for the abandonment, simply stating that he understood. That and the fact that Finn was dull played a part as well. Rebekah spent time alone mostly, avoiding the doppelganger and Marcel; pondering what she needed to do about Stefan. Kol poured over the spell to ensure that Freya's way be better than the plan that got him daggered in 1914. Besides Freya, it was Kol that knew the most about witchcraft seeing that he inherited his mother's abilities before he was turned. Elijah just kept Klaus from losing his patience and massacring the town because he couldn't wait till the full moon. Which is how he found himself trailing his brother through the woods of Mystic Falls.

“Where exactly are we going Niklaus?” Elijah asked, annoyed that dirt was getting on his expensive loafers. Klaus didn't answer him but kept moving. He would stop, listen and then head towards another direction. Soon, Elijah realized where he was going. “Really? Is this necessary?” When Klaus didn't answer, the older brother sighed. “Alright. If this is how you're going to release some tension for the next few days, at least allow me to enter first.”

“Want to say your goodbyes brother?” Klaus asked with a devilish smirk. “You do realize that she isn't Tatia. They may look identical but they are not the same person.” They rarely spoke of Tatia; not even when they were human; except for once. Klaus knew his brother had loved her even though she was in bed with both of them. Klaus took a step back, told Elijah to never speak of her again to him and moved on. “You never saw Katerina when you looked at her.”

“I know, but I still need closer.”

“Very well but do hurry. I'm getting impatient.” Klaus waved Elijah onwards and the older to the two jumped into the cavity that was the tomb. When Elijah landed, he realized that Katherine was not alone. There was someone else standing outside the tomb.

“May I inquire who you are?”

“Whose asking?”

“Damon, meet Elijah. Klaus's brother.” A hoarse voice sounded from inside the tomb and Elijah could see Katerina's weakened state. She was in a tight black dress and her feet were bare. He could see the dark circles under her eyes and she slow process of desecration began. “Hello lover.”

“Wait. Lover? Don't tell me that you're in bed with the big bad wolf's brother.” Damon asked, eyeing Elijah from head to toe, wondering if he would be able to beat him in a fight. Yet, Damon could feel Elijah's age rolling off of him and knew better than to pick one that he would clearly loose. Damon was reckless but not completely stupid.

“Katerina and I were involved once, many centuries ago. When she was still human.” Elijah looked directly at Katherine and held her gaze. “However, any affection I may have felt for her died the day I realized it was her that had Emily Bennett cast the spell that took away Caroline.” Elijah picked a speck of dust off of his designer suit and looked directly at Damon. “Mr. Salvator, if you're planning on breaking Katerina out of this tomb-”

“Break her out?” Damon questioned as he cut the Original off and snorted. “I want the backstabbing bitch to rot there for the next hundred and forty-five years just as I thought she had when I was turned.” Damon raged. He had no intentions of ever letting her out. “What I want to know is where your maniac of a brother is holding Elena and since that freaky ancient witch sister of yours won't say, Katherine is the best shot I have.”

“Trust me when I tell you that Elena will be returned to you unharmed once Ms. Bennett wakes Caroline. As for my, how did you eloquently put it, maniac of a brother is standing directly outside of this tomb.” Katerina stood with pure terror in her eyes. She backed away slightly.

“Elijah. Please. Don't do this.”

“You know the beauty of Klaus and Caroline is simple. You see, Klaus is a mad man. He will burn cities to the ground simply because he is bored but he is also diabolical. He plots and plays the long game. He will take risks that no one would dare take.” Elijah stepped forward and looked directly at Katherine. “Yet, it was always Caroline who ensured that Klaus's schemes came to fruition. She always was detailed oriented; a perfectionist. Tell me Katerina, how long did you search for Nadia?”

Katherine froze with pure fury on her face. It wasn't until years after she became a vampire that she ever learned her daughter's name; a name she did not give her. Never once did she set eyes upon her daughter after the day she gave birth to her. She went back and searched every village but she was no where to be found. She was gone.

“You know nothing of my daughter.”

“I know more than you would think.” Elijah moved around the tomb his eyes never leaving his former lover's. Damon watched the scene in amazed silence. “After you killed yourself in order to become a vampire, Klaus and Caroline murdered your family. Yet, Caroline did something else. Before Klaus ran this sword through your father's chest, Caroline asked him where he placed your daughter. She then went to her home and took her away to ensure that you never found her.”

“Harsh.” Damon whispered as he saw the pain on Katherine's face. It was pure agony. In truth, Damon never knew Katherine had a daughter. He never knew anything about Original vampires and werewolves; and he didn't care either. All he wanted was Elena and would do anything to get her back. If it meant waking the Queen of the Damned, then so be it.

“Doesn't matter. It has been five hundred years. Nadia would be dead by now.” Katherine replied.

“Would she?” Elijah asked. “You see, Caroline took a special interest in Nadia. Always made sure she was provided for. Ensured that she fell in love and had children. It was important to Caroline and Klaus that the Petrova lined continued because that meant that one day, another doppelganger would surface. Nadia had three children in her twenties. Then on her thirtieth birthday, Caroline turned her.” Katherine froze, digesting this information. “Nadia is a vampire, Katerina.”

“Where is she!?”

“I don't know. Only Caroline kept track of her movements just to ensure the two of you never met. It is a pity that the knowledge of her whereabouts was lost when Caroline fell.” Elijah said. Nadia's location became unimportant once the search for a spell to wake Caroline became necessary. For all Elijah knew, Nadia could have either met the sun or found herself at the wrong end of a stake. “It is poetic, is it not? The one thing you wanted most is lost to you because of your own actions.”

“Why? What was the point of turning her?”

“Leverage.” Three heads turned and saw that Klaus had entered the tomb. Damon sighed in annoyance while Elijah did nothing at all. Katherine's eyes went wide and she backed away with pure unadulterated terror echoing behind her brown eyes. “I just wanted to kill your entire family and move on but it was Caroline who knew of Nadia's existence, she ensured that your family line lived on. She also knew that having Nadia in our back pocket might be useful one day.” Klaus cocked his head.

“You can't do anything to me while I'm in here. Step through that barrier, and you'll never get out.” That was the only strand of hope Katherine had. She hated being in that tomb but it made her the safest vampire in town, or so she thought. Klaus smirked at her and stepped through the barrier as though it was nothing.

“You're right. Neither one of us can leave now. My my, how will we pass the time?” Katherine tried to flee to back of the tomb but Klaus caught her easily. He pinned her against the wall and barred his fangs. His eyes turned yellow and he bit down on Katherine's neck. She screamed loudly while both Elijah and Damon watched. Damon's lips curled in disgust while Elijah just looked bored.

“What the fuck is he?”

“My mother had an affair with a werewolf, which produced Niklaus.” Damon just looked at him. “A little of vampire, a little of werewolf.” Damon looked at Katherine again and saw that the wound on her neck was not healing. “Venom from a werewolf bite if fatal for a vampire. Luckily, Niklaus's blood is also the cure. Katerina is in for a long haul of pain.”

“Elijah, your constant chatter is ruining a perfectly good torture session. Take Salvator the elder and leave me with my shiny new toy.” Klaus narrowed his eyes and Elijah just rolled his. He cocked his finger towards Damon and indicated for him to leave the tomb. Damon hesitated, unsure if he wanted to stay and watch Katherine be tortured or find a way to get to Elena. “and be a good brother and have Freya come release me at sundown.” He turned back towards Katherine and pulled out what looked like a pocket knife. He jammed it into Katherine's gut before slicing it completely open. He inserted two of his fingers inside of her and blood flowed down her front. “You're for at least a century and a half of torture before I show mercy and end you once and for all.”

“Time to go Mr. Salvator.” Damon turned and left with Elijah. The two of the strolled through the woods at a slow pace. “You have my word that Elena will remain unharmed. If Ms. Bennett's spell works and Caroline wakes, I will personally hand her over to you myself.” Elijah stopped. “I wouldn't try looking for her. Freya spelled our location, you'll never find her.” Damon didn't believe him and wanted nothing more than to search the entirety of Mystic Falls until he found her.

“And here I thought I was bad but your brother is far more psychotic than I could ever hope to be. Is he going to leave Katherine down there and then come to visit when he feels an inch that needs scratched?” Damon smirked.

“I'm not sure what Niklaus plans for her and frankly, I don't care. She made her bed and now she must lie in it.” Damon looked at him and didn't believe him. He knew perfectly the allure Katherine had.

“You loved her.”

“I loved the idea of her.”

“You and me both.” Damon replied as Katherine's screams echoed through the trees.

*

The first two days Elena remained in the room Klaus had placed her in. Elijah told her she could roam the house as long as she didn't try and leave. If she attempted to leave, she would be stopped. Of course, she had to try. She couldn't just walk through the front door and she knew that her room was on the second floor. She opened the window and attempted to climb down but was physically unable to. It was as though there was an invisible barrier preventing her from stepping outside at all.

So, she did the only thing she could do; she watched tv and when that got boring, she decided to take Elijah's advice and explore the house. It could be useful later. She only hoped that she didn't run into Rebekah or any of the others. She was still baffled at Rebekah's reaction to her and how it pertained to Stefan. She could only believe that it had to do with whatever Klaus had done to Stefan back at the Boarding House.

Elena strolled along the hallways. There were parts of the house that were not completed. Construction workers milled about but none of them paid her mind. It was as though they couldn't see her. She screamed and asked for help but none of them moved.

“They can't hear you.” Elena turned and saw Rebekah glaring at her with her arms crossed. “They've been compelled to completely ignore your existence. Lucky for them. If I only had that bliss. Unfortunately I am your jailer while Elijah and Nik are off doing who knows what.” Rebekah scowled at her and turned away from her. “Stay out of my hair and don't get yourself killed. If you do, just remember you have Elijah's blood in your system and that I can rip your heart from you chest.” With that Rebekah turned and left Elena standing in the middle of a half finished room.

Elena decided it would be best not to go in the same direction because she wouldn't put it past Rebekah to kill her despite what her brothers wanted. Instead, she continued to open doors and see what parts of the house she could. Eventually found a kitchen that was fully finished. She opened the fridge and only found blood bags. She scowled. She looked around and saw a door to left of a table. Elena reached for the knob and turned to reveal a set of stairs. She reached for a light switch and turned it on.

It was a basement and Elena felt the hair on the back of her head stand up. Something was down there and every part of Elena told her to turn and run. Yet, she stepped forward and slowly made her way down the stairs. The basement floor was dirt and the walls were nothing but stone. An illuminated lightbulb hung from the ceiling and swayed ever so slightly. Elena could see three coffins on the ground there were open.

“Cliche much?” Elena muttered and her eyes turned to the two coffins that were still on wheels. They were closed. She reached for the first one and attempted to open it but it wouldn't budge. It was as though it was sealed shut and nothing would be able pull it open.

“Trust me love, you don't want to open that. My mother is in there and unless you wanted to see nothing but pure evil, I suggest you leave that one shut” Elena turned and saw that Klaus was standing at the bottom of the stairs. She didn't hear him come down or knew that he had arrived back at the manor. He was covered from head to toe in blood and had a look of pure joy upon his features. “Don't worry, it may be doppelganger blood but be pleased that it isn't your's.”

“Katherine? Is she-”

“Dead? No. She has many more years of torture in her future before I show her mercy and let her die from a werewolf bite.” Klaus seemed almost merry at the thought. He chuckled and Elena could tell that he was enjoying watching her suffer. Elena almost felt sorry for her. Almost. “Open that one.” Klaus pointed towards the other coffin. Elena hesitated. “Go on.”

Elena walked around the coffin and towards the other one. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest and she could feel Klaus's eyes on her. She reached for the coffin and unlike the other one, it opened easily. Inside laid a beautiful woman with long pale blonde hair. Her skin was milky and pale. Her eyes were closed and she wore a white pantaloons with a matching corset.

“This is your wife.” Elena whispered. “She is beautiful.” In truth, she hadn't given much thought to what Caroline would look like or anything about her. She was so focused on her safety and what Klaus could possibly want from her; the reason why he was coming to Mystic Falls didn't really phase her. Yet, here was Caroline; lifeless and still.

Suddenly, Klaus was beside her, looking down at the sleeping woman. He reached out and with a bloody hand, moved a strand of her hair from her face. The look he gave her was nothing Elena had ever seen. Beneath the tormented eyes and blood stained skin, she could see real emotion there. There was depth that lingered and Elena could honestly say that Stefan never looked at her in such a manner. Caroline wasn't just a mysterious fairytale, she was real and she was everything to Klaus. Elena realized in that moment that Klaus would burn the world to the ground if Bonnie didn't succeed.

“Have you felt something deep inside of you that it clung to you and refused to let go? Like fire in your veins? A simple touch was like electric. A touch that stopped the entire world and nothing else mattered?” Elena froze and Damon's blue eyes flashed in her mind. She shut down those emotions but said nothing. Klaus chuckled. “I see you have. Tell me, is it the Rippah that sets you on fire?”

“Why do you call him that?”

“Because that is what Stefan is. Deep down. He rips and destroys everything he touches. It was a beauty to watch.” He seemed wistful. “He is young. Very young. I killed as a young vampire as we all do. You feel your victims pain and the guilt will eat you alive. Eventually, it stops eating at you and they just become another name on a long list. Some you will remember, others you won't.”

“Is that what you did to him back at the boarding house? Made him remember his victims?” That caused Klaus to chuckle deeply.

“No. Something far more painful.”

“You're a monster.” Elena hissed.

“Yes, love. I am.” Klaus replied relishing in it. “And Stefan will be as well once he gets over the conscience that caused that guilt to eat away at him. Frankly, I cannot wait to see him reach his full potential.” The smirk that was perched on his lips was sinister. Elena backed away slowly.

“He'll never turn it off.”

“Neither have I. Not once in a thousand years.” Klaus hissed at her. His eyes ranked over her and he remembered who she was. The annoyance he felt whenever Katherine was in his line of sight bubbled at the surface. That face and everything it represented tore at his soul, even though it was someone different staring out of the same pair of eyes. Elena saw it; the change and flash from one mood to the next. Gone was the joyful expression he had after bathing in Katherine's blood and back was the monster she met at the Boarding House. “Get out.” Elena didn't move but instead remained frozen in her spot. “Get out now before I coat myself in more doppelganger blood!” Klaus screamed at her and Elena turned and fled up the stairs, tripping as she went.

*

Cleveland, Ohio August 1964

Klaus stood the small studio apartment he compelled for himself and looked at the blank canvas. There was an itch under his skin and he needed to get it out. Never had he had a block before. Yet it felt that he was unable to paint anything. Art was always an outlet for him but nothing came to him anymore. He had no muse and no inspiration. He needed to get something out but nothing was coming to him. Nothing held any meaning.

It was like his entire being suffocated and died. He hadn't left his studio in at least a year, maybe two; not even to feed. He could feel the thirst eating away at him and he saw the grey tint to his skin beginning to appear as his body dried out. The old Klaus never would have allowed him to go this long without feeding; now he just didn't care. His humanity was still there but he just felt nothing in exchange. The pain was so deep and engrained in him now that he became numb.

Klaus picked up his paintbrush, dipped into jet black paint and began. Stroke after stroke he painted in no particular order. Hours past and the sun set but he just kept putting that black color onto the canvas. Eventually he put down the brush and looked down at his hands, they were covered in black. His eyes traveled to the canvas and he saw nothing but darkness.

“I get it. It's a mirror to your soul.” A voice sounded from behind Klaus, causing a flicker of a smile to reach his lips. He turned and saw his son standing before him. His skin was ever the same darkness and he wore typical clothing of the time; dark pants with a white button down and a black tie. He was handsome and he looked well. “It's good to see you Klaus.”

“Why are you here Marcel?” His voice croaked. He hadn't used it in however long; he didn't know. He knew the year and what day it was; that was unavoidable but that didn't mean that he spoke to a living soul. “Shouldn't you be running my city and keep it from burning to the ground?”

“New Orleans is in good hands.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Maybe because someone hasn't answered the phone in a decade. I brought you something.” Marcel stated. He pushed off the door frame, reached behind him and tossed a young woman to the ground. She had red hair, pale skin and brown eyes; nothing like Caroline. Klaus found that he could be in the deepest of starvation and yet he still could not kill a blonde woman or anyone who looked remotely like her. The woman didn't move and it was clear that Marcel had compelled her. “You need to feed. You're looking a bit grey.”

At first he didn't move but the blood hit him and the monster took over. He was an original but even he can't hold off the smell of blood after years of starvation. He dived and sank his teeth into the neck of the woman. She didn't scream or flinch but Klaus didn't care. All that mattered was the sweet blood that was coursing through his body. When the woman was completely drained, he tossed her to the floor and stood; looking at Marcel.

“Your color is coming back.” Marcel commented. “It's been ten years Klaus. You stopped answer my calls, Freya's calls. You haven't spoken to Elijah in how long? Since the twenties? Klaus, I know its a new invention but the telephone was invented with a purpose. When you hear it ring, you answer it.”

“Perhaps the insistent ringing caused me to smash it to bits before I attempted to hang myself with its cord.” Klaus snapped. “But alas, I'm immortal and all the cord would do is make my neck itchy.” He began to turn around to clean up his paints, stepping over the dead body. “If you're here, where is Caroline?”

“Still in New Orleans behind the massive amount spells and enchantments that have been in place for years.”

“Kol and Rebekah?”

“Still daggered.” Marcel watched him. “So this is your plan? Hold yourself up in this studio until you desiccate? What happened the man who stopped my master whipping me? What happened to the man that leveled cities because someone simply looked at my mother wrong?”

“He died in 1864.” Klaus replied, focusing now on the completely black canvas. “It's been a century. A century without her. I can't-” He could feel himself breaking. His back was rigid and it was close to initialing the whole of Ohio. His fist balled and he punched the wall, over and over. His knuckles began to bleed but due to the fresh blood in his system, they healed quickly. Marcel placed a hand on his shoulder.

“That first night that you and Caroline took me in, she cleaned the wounds on my back. She sang to me and told me that no one was going to hurt me again. No one has. She became more of a mother to me than the woman who refused to name me. You became more of a father than the slave owner who whipped me. I will protect her until the end of time, this I promise you. I will hold your city until you're ready to take it back but I need to you continue to live. Caroline needs you to continue to live.”

Klaus said nothing but Marcel could see that he was getting through to him. The older vampire turned and pulled Marcel into a deep hug. Klaus clung to him and Marcel let him hold him for as long as he needed.

“Give me time.”

“Okay.” Marcel pulled away. He looked deeply at his sire. “I talk to her you know. Almost everyday. I will sit beside her and tell her about New Orleans. About how the times have changed. Anything that comes to mind really. She was always one to listen and always knew the right thing to say. It makes me feel as though she is still here. Perhaps, when you are able to come back, you'll talk to her too.”

“I speak to her everyday. I see her too.” Klaus whispered and Marcel was taken aback. He looked at the man and wondered how far his depression really went. He had never seen Klaus this low before. He lost it when Caroline first fell. He tore New Orleans apart and nearly burned it to the ground. He hunted and found every witch he could to break the spell; but this was different. This was not the Klaus he knew.

“Is that why you're allowing yourself to dry out? Why you've stopped drinking blood of any kind completely? Because you are hallucinating Caroline?” He didn't reply but Marcel knew that answer. “Look, I came by here a few hours ago. I called out your name and you didn't even flinch or respond. You didn't hear me. I saw the grey on your skin and I knew what you are doing. You needed blood.”

“I just wanted to see her. To hear her voice. To see if I remembered what it sounded like.”

“I know. I know.” Marcel looked towards the canvas. It might have just been black with no variations other than the stroke of the brush but to him, it summed up the Klaus that stood directly in front of him. “Take all the time you need but know that Freya is still searching. Last we spoke she was in San Diego speaking with some witch contact of hers.” Klaus nodded. “We haven't given up on her. I hope you don't either.”

“I'll never give up on her. I just need some time.”

Forty-eight hours later, Klaus was on a plane to New Orleans.

[seblore]

everyday i wake up and you still havent posted your evermore rant </3

there u go boo 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

GDBDNSKDJHHDDNDS GIRL................ ok so i very cleverly avoided ranking folklore because every song REALLY HIT and the whole album was just SO.. SO.. yeah. i can however rank miss evermore. i dont want to compare the two album i do not get the point in that. both give off really different vibes. now what i will say is with folklore, AS AN ALBUM, it is just a master masterpiece. The songs flowed amazingly with each other and really held you close the entire first listen. at least thats what I felt like <3 with evermore however, the individual songs are OMG!!! THERE IS LITERALLY NO SONG I DONT LIKE FROM ANY OF THE TWO ALBUMS. but as an album on the first listen i did feel a bit disconnected from evermore which didnt happen to me with folklore. why i think that might’ve happened is BECAUSE taylor is just so brilliant m8.... the MASSIVE contrasting emotions between the songs was too much for my little brain to handle.

Ok so now that’s out of the way dhsjsk time for rankings :) i have no idea where im going to put each song im just going to make it up as we go <3 ill ALSO give you my fave lyrics from each if I remember it <333 (oh and also you’ll notice marjorie isnt here. im sorry but i never listened to it after the first listen because it hits a little too close to home and i dont want to unpack all of that now im sorry! it is a beautiful song)

14. Closure: she popped off <3 she really said dont treat me like a situation that needs to be handled 💃🤙💯 a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics HOWEVER its the first song i couldnt connect with thus it’s down here BUT I STILL WOULD LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT THO... the last in my ranking but still fucks 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ thats taylor swift 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

13. long story short: i have never been in a relationship ever BUT GODDAMN ‘pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips’ hdjsksksjjddjnBbdns jddd ubebs!:!?:?:$3&39383$hzjs WOAH.... and this bitch really summarized the full 2016 drama with long story short it was a bad time. HILARITY. yeah not much to say here tho this is just the ‘at least one mandatory song to shake your tits to on each ts album’ song of evermore <3 and always remember that if the shoe fits walk in it TILL YOUR HIGH HEELS BREAK WOOH ANDIFELLDOWNTHEPEDESTALRIGHTDOWNTHERA—

12: dorothea: making a lark of misery :D RENt free. i had to listen to ‘if youre tired of being known for who you know you know youll always know me’ 113 times to finally understand it tho 😐 some of us are stupid and illiterate have you ever thought about that miss swift???? anyways TINGTINGTINGINGINGING THE STARS IN YOUR EYES SHINED BRIGHTER IN TUPELO <33333 such an innocent feel good song I LOVE!!!!!

11. ivy: the goddamn here and the hush of mirrorball ARE THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 😽 another lyrical masterclass <3 ‘id live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time’ IS2G!!!!!!!!!!! anyways what if you cheated on your husband with me and i cheated on my husband with you and my pain fit in the palm of your freezing hands 😳 JK JK 😅 unless...... 🤪😏 hdjsks yeah this song is magnificently cursed and i am in love with it 🧎‍♀️

10. tis the damn season: this song is august but the other side of the coin. august but four months later. AUGUST SLIPPED AWAY LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE- THE HOLIDAYS LINGER LIKE A BAD PERFUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... she sounds so pretty goshhh! ‘time flies messy as the mud on your truck tires NOW IM MISSING YOUR SMILE hear me out we could just ride around and the road not taken looks real good now’ is on repeat in my mind. and as always the bridge ::::::::::::::.............:::::::::::::: how does she do this everytime. ‘and wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles im faking’ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ after every ts song i listen my expectations about true love grows exponentially and my chances of finding true love falls exponentially simultaneously ADIEU.

9. willow: she really took the invisible string quartet and put it in huh..................... FUCKED IN THE HEADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. what can i say <3 its just such a pretty song <3 hashtag gorgeous hashtag i cant say anything to its face. WRECK MY PLANS!!!!!! WRECK IT BITCH!!! ‘wait for the signal and ill meet you after dark’ LOVE STORY WHIPLASH. also mate i cant even focus on the song she looks SO GOOD in the music video i—

8. happiness: !!!! what can i say.... one of the best songs of the album hands down. lyrical masterpiece AND musically rich. she really logged into tumblr dot com and typed out ‘THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU’ AND ‘THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU’ ARE IDEAS THAT CAN COEXIST and logged off...... h8 her and her insanity. the one word i have to describe this song is: picturesque. tis a picturesque song <3 oh and dfbhhffcbhDDVHHTRSDVJK when i heard ‘i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you’ i audibly GASPED and then she says ‘no i didnt mean that sorry i cant see facts through all of my fury’................. i fell out of my chair. IT FELT LIKE AS IF SHE HEARD MY GASP AND TOLD ME SPECIFICALLY THAT NO SHE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT... anyways yeah. ill write an article one day named THE SWIFT DECEPTION OF TAYLOR about how she keeps writing songs with deceptive titles and this will be the opening case 😈🤙 also the fact that this is one of my faves and i put it in number 8 says a lot......

7. evermore: i havent recovered from ‘motion capture. put me in a bad light’. i mean come on the whole goddamn song is a lyrical masterpiece. ‘writing letters addressed to the fire’. IS SHE OK!????????????? i think tf not. beautiful song beautiful arrangement. iver sounded really good too. and lol lol rofl WOOFWOOFbarkbark ‘HEY DECEMBER GUESS IM FEELING UNMOORED’ unmoored definition from google dot com: no longer attached. she doesn’t go back to december anymore. about2 faint oml. long story short: i did not survive. THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE........ what i felt with this song is that she took the quarantine sadness we all felt at least once this year and made it into a masterpiece of a song. couldve been easily the top song on any album except this. no i will not elaborate <3

6. no body no crime: i cannot believe. she teased us with a musical number. this woman teased us with. a musical number. I THINK SHE IS WRITING A MUSICAL BUT I JUST CANT PROVE IT! when she wins that tony 16 years later call me prophetic xoxo. anyways yeah she literally wrote this to flex her storytelling abilities. send tweet 🐥

5. cowboy like me: YEEEHAWWW I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FULL SONG SOUNDS LIKE I JUST HAVE THE BRIDGE ON REPEAT!!!! OMFG!!! the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. AAAA!! ??? STFU. IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS MATE THE WAY ITS SUNG!!!!!!! GUT WRENCHING! the best bridge she has ever written musically. i cant stop listening to it. REALLYYY DID BELIEEEVE I WAS THE ONEEE. STORIESSS ABOUT WHEEEN YOU PASSSEDDD THROUGHH TOWN. y e l l. and then she hits me with ‘now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon.’ L ???? M !!!!! A $$$$$ O “”””” i had to pause it and sit there for 10 minutes to take in what i had just heard. case closed critical hit sustained yeedhawd.

4. tolerate it: i cried. the only reason it’s not 1 is because it hurt me too much. WHAT THE FUCK YOU MF YOU ASSUME IM FINE BUT WYD IF I BREAK FREE AND LEAVE US IN THE RUINS???? TOOK THIS DAGGER IN ME AND REMOV— m8 this physically hurts me everytime. if its all in my head TELL ME RN. aghhh aRghhhhhhh. pain. and lol she broke down sleep to its bare essentials ‘breathing with your eyes closed’.

3. ??? coney island: i know it’s a bit of a controversial top three but WHO CARES 🕴this is solely here for ‘AND IM SITTING ON A BENCH IN CONEY ISLAND wondering where did my BABYy GO’ im shaking. my bed is shaking. my body is shaking. my pupils are shaking. THE WAY SHE SINGS IT OH MY GOODNESS ME i have to lie down gimme a sec. ‘and if this is the long haul howd we get here so soon 😟’ SCREAM. and when i was hearing it for the first time and she said ‘sorry for not making you my centerfold’ i was like yeah and?? so what?? and then she hits me with ‘over and over’...... so she didnt make him/her/them her centerfold over and over !!!!!!! she is sorry she didnt do it over and over!!!!!! mannn.... the chorus.. i shall not speak. i am held at gunpoint i CANNOT SPEAK. the bridge tho dhdnsksksjsb I CAN SPEAK AND I SHALL SPEAK. BITCH WENT OFFFFFFFF. <3 this is the apology she deserved from her exes which she never got so she wrote it herself. podium. grey skies. birthday cake. ACCIDENT. im laughingggggggggggg <///3 and yeah so overall it is a really yummy song with yummy vocals and yummy arrangement 9/10 would recommend. also!! life lessons kids life lessons. disappointments? SIMPLY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND YOU DO NOT SEE IT YAAAAAAAAAS

2. gold rush: ETHEREAL!!!!!! The last time i felt like this™️ whilst listening to a song was with mirrorball <3 the production of this song omg omg omg LOVE 💃 but what propelled it to number two status was the ‘i dont like slow motion double vision in ROSE BLUSH/ i dont like that falling feels like flying till the BONE CRUSH’ imagine how fucked in the head a person needs to be to rhyme rose blush with bone crush. yeah i have nothing more to say really this song is extremely gorgeous and ‘eyes like sinking ships on water so inviting i almost jumped in’ / ‘walk past quick brush’ ?:!:!&:8483 F A V E <33333 and the transition transmission transfusion from ‘... gray old tea cuz itll never be ᵍˡᵉᵃᵃᵃᵃᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʷⁱⁿᵏˡⁱⁿᵍᵍᵍᵍ’ MADAME

1. champagne problems: are we surprised? ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED? when listening to new albums i normally listen to it at one go in order. i stick to that rule. HOWEVER after many years of my solid album listening self made rule tm i finally broke and immediately replayed this mf song after listening to it once. ‘you had a speech, youre speechless/ love slipped beyond your reaches’???? stfu???? VILE. PUNISHABLE. DEROGATORY. and welp the entire bridge ...... .... ........... what can i say. And the parallels to miss all too well??? WHAT WAS THE REASON???? your SISTER splashed out on the bottle- left my scarf there at your SISTER’s house 😐 she’ll patch up your tapestry that i SHRED- maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you TORE it all up 😐 your MOM’s ring in your pocket- your MOTHER’s telling stories bout you on the tee ball team 😐 November flush and your FLANNEL cure- PLAID shirt days and nights when you made me your own 😐 wHAT A SHAME SHE IS FUCKED IN THE HEAD IS2G........... and also why would she not rhyme POCKET with LOCKET?????? why with wallet???????????? slant rhyme why????????????? AND THE NOTE THIS MF SONG ENDS ON..... FUCKED IN THE HEAD

THATS IT. i really sat here and did this for the past 2 hours huh...... hhdjsms anyways LONG STORY SHORT: I HATE ONE INSANE WOMAN AND HER NAME IS TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT. GODSPEEED 🏃‍♀️

[coe-lilium]

TroS reaction (1st view)

Necessary premise in bullet points:

- I liked TFA when it came out and still do but as I dug into the franchise/canon (Disney only by choice) my enjoyment of it became more lukewarm. Came out of it dreading a potential Reylo but liking the two charas on their own. 

- went into TLJ worried I’d hate it, came out with it being my favorite saga movie and sold on the Rey-Ren connection, whatever road it would’ve taken. Loved the “Rey’s powerful on her own/bc the Force wants to set Kylo’s wrongs right”. It felt good after two years of being bombarded with “this fucking Mary Sue can have any power only if she’s connected to powerful men of the saga, she has otherwise no right in being powerful” in forums spaces.    

- went into TroS non-spoiled, wary of Palpatine return but relatively hopeful if soured about the “JJ our lord and saviour pleease save us from evil evil Jonhson” (HA!). The rumors about lore from the tv series being featured into the movie had me excited.  

That said, here goes: [SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE, ENDING INCLUDED, RIGHT OFF THE BAT]

I didn’t like it. I really hope to warm up to it more in future views, there’s absolutely stuff I liked or even loved, but as it stands now it was overall a massive disappointment on many sides and -worst of all- threatens to retroactively ruin my enjoyment in other previous stories. 

First, the positives: 

- Parentage notwithstanding, Rey was good. Her rage, her fears, her good heart, her commitment to the fight and the training, her longing for guidance… truly, if the bloodline revelation hadn’t retroactively ruined my investment in the character and themes I’d have fully, 100% loved her even if every single other part of the movie had been the same. 

Except for a brief war flashback to Starkiller game abilities (I lolled) I wasn’t even troubled by all the new abilities or their scope. Movies’ been inventing new powers since the beginning and the Force does what the Force wants. Again, fuck the genetics “twist”, garbage stuff. 

- Kylo, next to… 95% that involved him? TLJ did a great job selling him to me and surprisingly this movie added to that instead of retconning it away. More competent but still stupid and petty from time to time. I’m glad he came back, glad he choose right and glad he was allowed more time on the right side than Anakin. I love redemptions and he was portrayed as wavering the entire trilogy, I don’t even really care that it could’ve done better. I’m happy for him and his family, that’s all. The kiss got a laugh out me but not a malicious one, I was kind of running out of reasonable reactions by then. 

I’m just conflicted on how I feel about his death. Back when TFA was released I wanted him to survive to face what Anakin didn’t: justice (the kid-friendly setting prevented a death sentence anyway), atonement and growth from there, I still wish it happened and maintain that a different pacing would’ve allowed it. On the other hand, I’m also kinda okay with him dying. He righted at least a bit of his many wrongs, he saved a person he cared for, that his parents cared for and that could help the galaxy much more than he ever could and he was at peace. It was a good death.      

- Kylo’s vision/illusion of Han. A surprise but a very pleasant, well acted one. Would’ve I maybe liked Anakin more, as Ben idolized him so much and for all the wrong reasons and because I love that disaster? Yes. Does Han work much better in the economy of the movie and trilogy story and do he and Ben have a much rawer relationship and history? Absolutely. I am a teeny tiny bit baffled as  for why Luke didn’t also show up, but the actual scene was good enough I forgive it.  

- Rey and Kylo bond and connection was one of the saving graces of this mess and I utterly loved it. Both actors worked their asses for for all their scenes and it payed off, oh if it payed off. Their DSII duel was perhaps a tad long but great nonetheless (Republic era Jedi jumps!), the hurt and the sense of absolute loss and grief they both conveyed -and shared!- after Leia’s passing was incredible, Rey regretting the near kill and softly going “I would have stayed, had you renounced the dark side”. She cared, yes, but not to the point of ignoring the horrors (something Anakin never quite understood). The “dyad” stuff was a bit overkill, just call it a force bond, we can see it’s freaking powerful, but the Force Skype and sharing of objects that came with the package, that I loved. Surprise lightsaber, Ren fuckers! :D Bet Anakin and Obi Wan were really jealous, that would’ve come in handy during the war.       

- Finn was now fully invested in the cause, at ease, visibly happy to be with his friends, ready to bond and reach out, quick to plan, to act and to adapt to the situation, brave but cautious and calculating. I wish it was given a bit more focus, but I loved he found other young FO defectors. Also fuck yeah, he’s force sensitive and his ability is used, not just thrown in as a useless wink. Jedi Finn in future material, c’mon!

- Poe’s also grown. He was probably going to have more screen time with Leia had Carrie not died but there was nothing to be done for that. I’m not as happy as for previous 3 charas for the backstory retcon I’ll tackle in the negatives.

- Jannah was cool, the addiction of other FO defectors a welcomed one and the scene were she and Finn excitedly went over their “I broke free” moment was adorable. Good bean, I’d read more about her and her company. 

- A bit lot annoyed at Bloodline being kinda tossed outta the window but getting Leia with lightsaber was nice. Give me some ancillary material to deal with the clash and I’ll fully forgive it. 

- Jedi! MY GIRL AHSOKA MY MAN KANAN! I mean, I sure wish they were in a better movie, but hey, recognition for something more than the OT? No slandering of the Order but all of them collectively kicking Sidious ass once and for all? I’ll gladly take it. Anakin, my dude, I’m sorry your sacrifice was next to nullified but it was good to hear you again ;_;  I didn’t hear Ezra’s voice anywhere so I can still hope he’s alive, well and with the Ascendancy teaching all their Navigators. “I am all the Jedi” remains a terrible line. 

And now, oh boi. Here comes the long list of annoying - bad - stinking shit stuff: 

- If I wanted to watch a 2 and half long videogame cutscenes I’d have done that in the comfort of my home without spending money for tickets. Go to level x to retrieve related macguffin, move to next level to get next macguffin and so on and so on. I liked close to everything in the DS II sequences, but what would’ve that dagger pointed at if the wreckage had fallen even a little bit differently?   

In general, many plot points gave me the feeling they were stolen from the tv series and badly executed, like a mockery (or incompetence?). Case in point: Hux betraying the 1st Order out of personal, spiteful hate? Potentially good! The execution? A poor man’s Rebels Agent Kallus, already over in little more than 5minutes. 

- Palpatine himself is a poorly, ridiculously poorly executed Maul resurrection storyline from tcw and rebels. 

Because Maul was 1. explained and 2. got a good, long arc that made you forgive the undoubtably contrived ass-pull it took to bring him back while Sidious is just… there. You gotta accept it because the writer said so. 

How did he survive? We don’t know and fuck you if you expect an explanation (they really had the absolute galls to have him say the iconic/meme line from Rots and apparently it was supposed to be enough?!) How could he “have all Sith reside inside me” when canon’s clear that Sith do-not-get-to-retain-their-individuality-in-the-Force, do not work well together (lmao) and he as an individual never gave a shit about the Sith except when they could serve his own personal desires? His entire approach to the rule of two and other Sith stuff is “fuck that noise, everything in the galaxy exist to serve me”. He’s fine dying as long as “the Sith rule”? Who IS this character, because he’s not Darth Sidious (as presented in Disney’s own canon, mind). Oh, you wanted explanations? FUCK YOU, screams the movie. 

The mess gets somehow salvaged in the end as he comes to his senses and siphon the life out of Rey and Ben to de-rotten/revive himself to rule in person, now *that* was in character. Was he actually lying his ass off the entire time waiting for the moment he could siphon them? Hopefully but who the hell even knows.

In the end it just wasn’t worth bring him back. A holocron, a different Sith, even a hive-mind of old records/tainted wraiths of Sith (perhaps wearing Palps face to buy the old empire aficionados loyalty, idk) would’ve been better than “actually, Anakin suffered nearly his entire life and sacrificed himself for barely more than 25 years of peace and it still wasn’t enough to rid the galaxy of the monster who destroyed his and countless other lives”. But Johnson was the one shitting on beloved characters legacy and accomplishments, uh? Surely at least he’s got company. 

Ian was clearly having a blast, so there was… that? And the initial sequence being legit creepy and the Sith storm or whatever the fuck was that. That can stay, it was cool.     

- Poe, the latino character, got retconned from former Republic pilot (a backstory established before TFA came out and faithfully respected ever since) into a smuggler and gang member. Classy. What does Lucaslfilm have a story group for if not for stopping stuff like this from happening? Bonus Zorii being used for a “no homo! homo? no homo?” wink wink and for generally being a poor man Solo’s Qi’ra.   

- The movie makes you worry for a character death three (3) times in a row only to immediately backpedal on it. The survivors are grieving, the scene is sober… and then suddenly! they’re alive! isn’t it wonderful? let’s insert a comical scene now that we’re at it! Sigh.   

- The whole Threepio stuff was a contrived waste of time in a movie already full of more relevant plot treads that could’ve put that screen time to better use. 

- Rey’s parents apparently aren’t assholes anymore bc they sold her into slavery to protect her from Sidious, which is… supposed to make it alright, a sacrifice in the name of love? If they had been shown trying to give her to a trusted person and then she was kidnapped that wouldn’t had been their fault, just unfortunate, but the movie shows them leaving their 5yo daughter with her in-all-but-name slaver so?? 

- Rey Palpatine… Rey. Palpatine. Gesù Cristo benedetto che minchia mi è toccato di vedere. That hurt. That was so hilariously over the top bad I just…I started laughing. On top of the entire thing, thank you so, soo much for validating all those fucking assholes who demanded Rey be connected to a powerful man in the saga to accept her powers and value, you hack. Jedi were never about power of blood and then you went and reinforced the very opposite. She ain’t powerful bc the Force recognized her as worthy to stop evil and chose to aid her anymore, she’s powerful bc grandfather was. Lovely stuff. Hilariously, now she has a lot more legit “Mary Sue” traits than before. 

- Rose’s sidelining was a blatant bow to her and her actress haters whims. If in VIII she jumped at the chance of action, now she was fearful and “had to stay behind” studying maps. Fuck that noise. 

- Even if she rejected it, underline is that the Skywalker line is wiped out and the Palpatine one thrives. I… just… wtf wtf wtf. A final “Just Rey” would’ve been more powerful -because now it would’ve been reclaimed- and less corny and in poor taste than a Palpatine taking on the Skywalker name. I’m not sure if Sidious is more offended or if he’s laughing his ass off in space!hell. Probably the 2nd. Bad.      

- The final scene on Tatooine. It rang so empty because the planet brings warm memories only to the audience, not the characters. In-universe, that place brought nothing but misery to the Skywalkers: Anakin and Shmi were brought there as slaves and lived as such for years, Shmi was tortured to death and Anakin began his descent into the dark for crying out loud. Luke had to hide and saw his relatives murdered. Leia had no connection whatsoever to the place. The mera idea of burying Anakin Skywalker lightsaber into the sands of Tatooine and considering it a way of paying respect is… I don’t know, hilariously in bad taste? Rey, dear, what did you have personally against the guy? Put those sabers to rest on Naboo! Ah, but we can’t truly acknowledge the PT now, can we? Wack.   

- It’s not TroS complete fault, that “honor” mostly sit at TFA’s feet but for all its omages, copies and almost slavish references, from a in-universe point of view it’s like the OT barely occurred. 

The same evil man has been defeated (until next time?), the Republic must be rebuilt from scratch, a evil military is all over the place and must be dealt with, the Jedi Order has to be rebuilt… it’s depressing. A new evil taking advantage of the empire leftovers would’ve been one thing, but Sidious? He’s been effectively winning nonstop ever since he was elected Chancellor. He had all the power, all the influence, all the control and he maintained it all even as a rotten corpse in exile, the entire galaxy marching on his tune, controlled by his strings. And as the cherry on top of the cake he even managed to wipe out the family that could’ve, should have been his undoing! He effectively destroyed the Skywalkers. He outlived every Jedi, every survivor, every clone. I hate this. It’s sickening. I can’t even be happy Rex was on Endor anymore.      

In general, the best word I can find for this movie is: coward. 

So blatantly desperate to please, to be “forgiven”, to reference every single irrelevant thing -except the PT and the TV series in a intelligent way-, to throw fanservice after fanservice after fanservice no matter how nonsensical from all over that crossed the “corny” to wander into embarrassing territory many times over (Maz giving Chewie a medal outta nowhere? Come the fuck on now). 

The cartoon series had twenty time the guts of this movie and I vehemently wish for Filoni to take the helm of the entire creative team in a very near future.                  

[rosesformark]

allure - mark lee : [01]

genre: angst, fluff, college au, fratboy!mark

pairing: mark lee x reader

word count: 2.3k

synopsis: attention and affection, the things he thrived off and wanted most in the world. but would it be at the expense of the one he loves most?

A/N: wooo i’m really excited to start this mark lee fic :)) this is just the beginning, the juicy parts has yet to come hehe. but how is this for an intro? I’m not sure how long this will be but i do want to make it pretty lengthy. any feedback is welcomed!! uwu i always say this but your requests haven’t been forgotten, i’m just taking my time with them to avoid rewriting the same plots since a lot of you asked for angst!! LOL btw i love mark and i hope you enjoy reading :> stay tuned for mORRrreEEE

MAR. 27, 2019

[2:37 AM]

“Let’s run away together.”

His sheets, a solid black, matched the night sky outside the window, moonlight filtering the bedroom with a mute but silvery atmosphere. The blankets were snuggly wrapped around both your frames as his words drifted softly through the air. His arms wound around your shoulders, squeezing slightly as you snuggled deeper into his neck.

His blunt words made your heart stutter, the endless possibilities popping into your head. You quickly shot them down though, not daring to raise your hopes up.

“That’s quite a bold statement,” you say. Nevertheless, a giggle went past your lips as you looked up and met his eyes. He held them steadily as his eyes, that you swore held the stars, began to crinkle and his cheekbones slowly became more prominent. He let out a chuckle and pressed his lips firmly against the crown of your head, holding you tighter if that was even possible.

“I’m serious, even if it’s for one week. Let’s just leave this place together where no one can find us and we can do whatever the hell we want.” Normally, when one uses his choice of uncertain words, it would scare you. But, you knew him, you knew that with the air of determination he had at that moment, held some sort of truth that eased your restless thoughts at open-ended promises. Mark was always a dreamer, he liked being on his feet and would constantly tell you of his ambitions and goals. Whether it be outings with the boys or over the top dates with you, he never failed to achieve them to the best of his ability.

Realistically speaking though, you both were young college students so what could you actually do? So, you decided to play along, “When would you have the time? The frat needs you, they would hate for me to take away their big,” you were left with a bitter taste as you said the last few words. Except for a few, most of Mark’s frat buddies absolutely detested when he suddenly stopped sleeping around and getting pissed off drunk nearly every night. Which was after he had started seeing you.

The idea though, of you and him together. It sounded so delightfully sweet and selfish that you couldn’t help the blush passing through your cheeks, heart fluttering. You pulled the covers up underneath your chin.

Mark rustled a bit, ruffling the sheets and turning to face you better. “Don’t think about them for now, it’s just you and me.” His signature smirk could be seen through the dark as he slowly intertwined his fingers in yours.

“Mark, you didn’t even tell them about us yet…”

“Shh, that’s not as important.” Your heart sunk at his statement and it showed in the way you slightly pulled away from him. He immediately caught your actions and moved to stop you, placing the palm of his hand against the dip of your back. Hurriedly, he continued, “What’s important is how we feel. Whats between us. You know how I feel about you so don’t worry about it,” he softly caressed your cheek, eyes dipping down to meet yours as he whispered softly, “Okay?”

You were hesitant for a moment. He always did this, always avoided talking about your relationship yet making endless promises like the hopeless romantic he is.You couldn’t help it though. His black hair fluttered against his eyes and compared to daytime Mark, with his wavy hair parted, he looked so loving and adorable. Looking into his deep eyes, the moonlight hit them in a way where it seemed like they were endless, with you falling deeper and deeper into their abyss. This was your favorite Mark, the Mark that let down his walls and wasn’t afraid to show his emotions towards you.

You exterior started melting as he softly rubbed your back, he knew your weaknesses and used them well to his advantage when he wanted you to cave. You mumbled a soft okay and he broke out into a grin. He then proceeded to press you into his chest as his nose nuzzled itself into your hair.

“That’s my girl.”

⋯

MAR. 27, 2019

[8:42 AM]

You cursed as you continued walking towards the campus library. Struggling to carry the intimidating amount of books piled into your arms, you really wished Kyungsoo didn’t called for the incredibly last minute meeting.

You had to unwillingly untangle yourself in the morning from Mark’s arms, if Kyungsoo had not said that it was an extreme, super duper emergency, you would not have left the boy you were so infatuated with for the world.

Imagine your distaste when Kyungsoo followed up with a text stating “coffee shop”, indicating a simple study session and not an extreme, super duper emergency. But alas, he was your best friend and if he knew that the reason you couldn’t come was because you were with campus heartthrob, frat boy and apparently fuck boy ahoy Mark Lee, you would never hear the end of it.

So, in the end, you snuck out of Mark’s room and into yours to grab at least what looked to be five thick textbooks. As you glared at the stack in your arms, you regretted being in such a rush that you didn’t even notice two of the books weren’t even yours.

You let out a loud groan as in the midst of your struggle, said textbooks decided to fall off your stack and topple on the cement ground. You stopped for a moment and unsteadily shoved the other three books in the crook of your arm; without thinking, you leaned down to grab the two textbooks while forgetting about the laws of physics and managing to lose grip on the other three.

As if in slow motion, and also at the moment you seemed to be questioning whether higher education was worth it, two pairs of arms shot out to help you. One pair went for the books already on the ground while the other pair caught your three books in mid fall and immediately helped straighten them in your arms.

You let out a sigh of relief as your eyes trailed the arms that were gripping yours. Your eyes widened as they met a pair of familiar, dark brown eyes that just last night, you shamelessly were staring in. Mark’s lips turned up into a grin as his fingers lingered near your waist, you felt the blood rush to your face as you realized just how close you two were standing.

Mark opened his mouth and was ready to speak when a loud cough from your side made you jump back. Mark hardly flinched as his arms remained in their position, gripping nothing but air. Which would’ve been funny to look at if it weren’t for Kyungsoo’s questioning eyes boring into yours, clearly directed at how close you were towards the campus heartthrob and had made no indication of pushing him away.

You avoided his gaze as he thrust out the textbooks that had fallen on the floor to you. You hands almost gripped the smooth covers when all of the sudden Mark snatched the textbooks out of Kyungsoo’s hand, quite roughly if you may add.

Kyungsoo immediately shot his signature glare as Mark merely smirked at him, “Ah thanks man, these were mine actually.” It was only then that you put two together and realized those textbooks were probably ones that Mark had left over the last time you had a study date. You internally pinched yourself for your stupidity.

“Are you sure? Y/n clearly was the one who dropped it in the first place.”

“Yeah, I’m sure, don’t worry about it.”

You could tell that Mark’s unbothered tone irked Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo never liked Mark, something about what happened when they were in highschool and adding Mark’s reputation on top of that, it was needless to say that Mark absolutely grinded Kyungsoo’s gears. His protective side was practically bursting at this point, which normally would warm your heart but considering its towards Mark, not so much. Before Kyungsoo started something, you jumped in to retort, “Yeah, he dropped them. You must’ve seen wrong, Soo.”

You mustered up the most innocent face you could as Kyungsoo’s eyes darted back and forth between you and Mark. You were about to crack when finally, Kyungsoo turned around and muttered, “Okay, let’s go then,” proceeding to walk in the direction of the coffee shop.

You didn’t make two steps before Mark pulled you back by the elbow, making you slightly lose your balance and crash into his chest from behind. You sprang away just in case Kyungsoo turned back to catch your flustered being as you sent daggers towards Mark’s teasing face. Even with the previous tension from before, he still maintained a relaxed state that was also shown through his clothing for the day, grey sweatpants paired with a simple white tee that made you glance again at his broad shoulders.

“You forgot something, love” If it wasn’t for the blatant pet name that caught you off guard, it was definitely the quick peck to your forehead that although made your heart flutter, also made you worriedly glance around for anyone that caught the intimate action.

Mark let out a small chuckle and used his hand that wasn’t holding the textbooks to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Why you so worried, love?”

“Because you keep calling me love when anybody could hear, Mark”

He ignored your statement, pouted and spoke softly, “You left so early this morning you didn’t even notice you took my books with you.”

“You wouldn’t even have been able to take them since they were at my dorm.”

“True, but since you lose track of how many books you have, it made you accidentally take them from your stack and carry them all across campus before you realized they weren’t yours.”

“Aren’t you a smart one today?”

He let out a loud laugh and drew back his hand that made you instantly crave for it again. “I wish I could kiss you right now, you’re being so cute and sassy.”

“Then why don’t you?”

He didn’t answer and simply smiled at you. The smile that showed all of his teeth but with the knowing fact that it always made you melt so you would forgive him for his actions.

He once again, ignored your prying questions, “Are you still coming to the party tonight?” he leaned in to your ear and whispered, “We’ll have more time to do what we want.”

You shuddered at his deep voice and the suggestiveness that came with it, cheeks burning as Mark smirked at his clear effect on you.You were about to answer before a pair of girls interrupted you to catch Mark’s attention.

“Mark! C’mon, we’ll be late to class.” Their high pitched voices called out to him as they gazed longingly at Mark’s presence. The green monster immediately jumped out the longer they stared at him, even more so when he turned around and gave them a charming grin, obnoxiously living up to the campus heartthrob name.

“I’ll see you later, baby.” He flashed you a smile that you knew were only reserved for you. It still didn’t hurt any less though when he started walking with the girls and made no move to push them away when one of them linked arms with him. You stared at his back as you were left with a highly disappointed feeling.

You and Mark weren’t official, yes. But he sure as hell did act the part when and only behind closed doors. You’ve had numerous talks about this but they always ended with Mark somehow diverting the conversation elsewhere and you were left with the feeling of unsettledness.

He never reciprocated other girls actions but he sure didn’t stop them. Mark has always told you that only you could affect him in a that way but judging by his reputation and past experiences you’ve seen, he has always thrived off of other’s attention and affection.

You snapped out of your daze just as your phone buzzed in your pocket. Pulling it out, you saw that you had several messages from “m :)”.

9:23 AM >> baby, don’t be jealous

9:23 AM >> you know i only have eyes for you

9:23 AM >> pls come to the party tho, i miss you already and i want to spend time with you :(

what if i don’t want to spend time w you? << 9:24 AM

9:24 AM >> you can’t lie to me and you know it

9:24 AM >> cmon, it’ll be fun!

9:24 AM >> cause you’ll be there with me ;)

You chuckled at his reply and stared at his contact picture. It was a picture of you two cuddling while playing around with Snapchat filters. Pink hearts danced around your heads as his face was pressed on top of yours, his hair messily sprayed on top his head, you were smiling widely and he was adorably pouting. It was such a lovey-dovey, borderline cringe worthy couple photo but it never failed to warm your entire being. You only wished you could display it on your lock screen for the world to see.

Your smile broke when Kyungsoo’s face flashed across the screen indicating a phone call coming through, making you gasp. You had completely forgot about the study session with him and had let him walk on his own when you were preoccupied with Mark. Purposely declining the call, you pivoted your feet and immediately started jogging towards the coffee shop, Potted. In the midst of your jog, you sent a few quick texts to Mark and started sprinting as Satansoo started flashing in the very deep pits of your mind.

I’ll be there << 9:27 AM

but not for you >:( << 9:27 AM

9:27 AM >> whatever you say, love. can’t wait to see you tonight :)

⋯

[stareiiez]

Flower Petals and Blood

Chapter Five

Word count: 4k words

Pairings: Lavernius Tucker/ Reader, Leonard Church/ Reader

Genre: Angst, Slowburn, Hanahaki Disease AU, Hints at Love Triangle, Angst, Fluff, Eventual smut, Sexual tension, Smut, 18+ & 21 content.

Author’s note: Okay so finally? FINALLY, finally I uploaded and updated this series and I’m so happy from the positivity that you guys have had to the previous chapters and the twist I’m having on the characters/ plot. Any way, this centers more around the Tucker/ Reader dynamic and away from the disease for now. Enjoy!

The morning after you had puked your guts up of velvet like sharp petals on the roof of Blue base you were holed up in your room. Your throat was still sore and scratchy from the abuse it constantly goes through. One large sleep shirt that donned the Blue Team logo on the front. Notebooks were scattered upon the other half of your bed, various scribbled notes in black ink stained white paper and your fingers.  The streams of late morning sunlight were painted against your features as you turned to stare at the dying small pile of flower petals on your dresser. The golden light seemed to make the sort of tense and tired aura your bedroom had, to seem a little brighter.  You hadn't even bothered to remove them from your bedroom, the action seemed too tiring for your body. With a tired yawn, you had rubbed the last remaining traces of sleep from your eyes. You weren't planning on doing much today. Taking more notes about your current ongoing disease and looking up some sort of solution was what kept you up late at night.  Hell, maybe you would even let Doc run more physical tests on your body like you were some lab experiment in Red Base. Maybe Sarge wouldn't mind you wandering aimlessly into their base unannounced and armed, naturally.  Sarge probably also wouldn't mind you coughing up light blue and darker blue flower petals on his floor. It was bad enough he didn't 'allow blue bastards' in his base, but seeing even more shades of blue in his base? The gruff male would be practically shoving his shotgun down your throat and threatening to shove his boot up your ass for trying to infect his men with some sort of 'blue team disease.'

You didn't need to have any more stress to risk another upchuck that nearly kills you in front of someone new every day. It was bad enough Caboose, Doc and now Tucker knew about your condition. Church was probably the next one to know if you weren't too careful for trying to choke down another wave of crashing emotions that would rip your heart apart. God, Church, he could manifest anywhere he would want to. Knowing your own luck, maybe he already came into your room to talk to you while you were asleep and saw your evidence for this cursed illness. That random thought you had, sent your eyes to widen slightly and your body to launch up out of bed at a too quick pace for your sleepy brain to handle. You crossed the small distance from your bed to scoop up the still soft flower petals and dumped them in a drawer of your dresser. Cursing yourself for even stressing this early in the morning, you let out a puff of air, your right hand rose to run its fingers through your slight bed head tangled locks. You winced from the harsh few tugs before wincing once again when a sharp knock on your door jolted your senses.

It was too early to even talk to anyone, your head hasn't even caught up with your body's actions yet at this point. All you wanted to do was sleep and stay curled up in bed and hide from the world while coughing your poor lungs out.  

"What?" You said through slightly gritted teeth, brows raising in slight agitation from whoever was standing outside your door.

"Are you dead? Caboose has been panicking about if you were drowning in flowers yet." Tucker's voice floated through from the other side of your door.

Oh, how to be graced so early in the day by one of the people you didn't want to be around while dealing with this sickness. With a small scoff, you had turned to address your closed door, chest tightening slightly from the thought of the aqua soldier even bothering to worry about you in the first place. Hell, you were probably crazy to think differently, Tucker wasn't some heartless asshole he was just some horny, self-centered asshole.  Only he was slightly better than Church for only caring about himself.

"Are you sure you're here because of Caboose, or because you were worried yourself." You spoke, walking closer to your doorway and opening the steel door enough to get a good look at the male in front of you.

Tucker was dressed casually for once, in sweats and a standard black shirt. His long dark brown and very light brown locks were tied up in a neat ponytail, a few dreads were starting to fall from the updo and casually frame his angled face. His gaze landed on you before it drifted over your head to rest on your bed. His eyebrow cocking at the sight of your late night notes covering your sheets.

"What? No. Maybe, move we need to talk." Tucker said before he gently pushed you out of the way and then closed the door behind him once the door of your bedroom closed.

The male had made himself surprisingly comfy by seating himself on your bed and reaching over to pick up the notes you had scribbled on. A small scoff escaped his lips when he read 'Nature can suck my balls' underlined multiplied times. Clearly, you were frustrated up until that point. His fingers traced over your chicken scratch like the wording, and couldn't help an annoyingly like smirk to grace his features.

"Alright what exactly are you doing here, because usually, you would have come up with some stupid pick up line for sex by now," You turned to cast Tucker a look, one eyebrow rose in suspicion?

A moment ticked by, and your breath held before Tucker lifted his head to meet your eyes. Eyes locked on each other.

"What the hell are you doing coughing up flowers like you're some goddamn freak?!" Tucker blurted out. Ah, there it is, you were waiting for that time were one by one the members of either Red or Blue would come knocking on your door demanding answers if they ever saw your disease.

"It's a magic trick, surprise." You deadpanned, your voice lacking emotion.

"Very funny." Tucker rolled his eyes before he tilted his head, a dark brow raising in a hint of his impatience. "Now tell me the truth." There was a pregnant pause between you two, both pair of eyes locked on one another. One slightly pleading for answers, the other way too stubborn that was staring daggers at chocolate brown orbs.

Finally a sharp from your lips broke the silence, this was going on for far too long anyway. You couldn't be that stubborn anyway, you were practically dying day by day and petal by fucking petal. Besides, Tucker had watched you puke right after Church left. You couldn't dance around the truth anymore as much as you want to.

"Okay, okay." You sighed, you walked closer to Tucker. His eyes trained on your form while you sat down next to him. You situated yourself on the bed so you were facing the male, who in turn followed your lead to sit face to face.

Taking one deep breath you went into detail about your complicated relationship with Church. Much to your own embarrassment, and with flushed cheeks you told Tucker about the first time you actually slept with Church.

The one time you were found halfway tipsy with the oldest bottle of Jack Daniels gripped in your right hand, and your body laid lazily stretched out on the ratty couch cushions in the living room. Your cheeks had a small, drunken blush staining your features, and your eyes were glassy as they were locked upon Church's. You were a sight, to say the least when Church happened to walk in to find Tucker and help him start up the tank once again. Out of all the people out of Blue Team, except Caboose, you seemed to drink the least, but given any rare occasion, you would out drink anyone and happen to get drunker than anyone at the same time.

"Take a picture you little cunt, it will last a lot longer." You scoffed, a harsh slur to your words made you sound funny in your ears. Your brows knitted, you sounded like your voice was muffled and you had cotton balls in your ears.

Church rolled his eyes, his dark blue eyes had wandered over your stretched form. Orbs drinking in your lithe frame until they raked back up to meet your unsteady gaze. You knew he was staring, and with a few or more shots of liquid courage that you had in your system, you eagerly enjoyed being stared at.

"Where is everybody? Why aren't you being watched and why the fuck are you drinking so early in the day?" Church bit out. He walked over to you and easily snatched the more than half empty bottle of whiskey.

The liquid in the bottle sloshing recklessly back and forth. At his harsh action, a drunken whine left your alcohol-soaked lips. You didn't hesitate to reach out in failing attempts to grab the bottle back from a glaring Church, who was starting to raise the whiskey bottle over his head. Whiskey bottle out of reach, and with your drunk ass being too lazy and uncoordinated to stand up from the couch and reach for it yourself, you laid back down against the somewhat comfortable cushions.

"I had enough of you screaming your lungs about how you're going to kill everyone on Blue Team and yourself just because Caboose crashed something. Besides its what? Eleven pm right now? Lay off, old man." You scoffed your top lip curling into a snarl.

"How long have you been awake?"  Church asked, his eyes watching your unsteady gaze that was wavering back and forth from him to what he was holding.

"Ten minutes." You said you started to get up this time just as Church scoffed in disgust. Clearly, there was no time limit when it came to drinking. 'It's always five o'clock somewhere.' was your overused excused when the Blue leader would catch you drinking.  "Now give me." You drunkenly demanded.

"Interesting." Church droned on before a sigh slipped past his lips, your demand has his eyebrows drawing together in slight irritation. "Come get it then."  The male stated, and to his own amusement, he started to back away from your position on the couch.  

Church watched your unsteady movements, his feet were scooting back step by small step as he watched a sort of sparkling determination to drink some more. It was frustrating to your mind on why the male was backing more and more away from your clumsy footsteps. You swayed like a zombie that wasn't set on eating brains but just consuming the last bit of whiskey without a single regret. After a slow three minutes of a constant pattern of your sock covered feet sliding against the rough floor in sluggish movements, and Church backing up. The male had pressed his back against the wall, finally trapped. Your alcohol-soaked breath fanned against his face, and his nose scrunched slightly from the smell of it. Your drunk brain couldn't register how close you two were, noses just barely brushing up against each other and one hand was planted against his chest. Your weight settled on your tiptoes as you reached up to grab the bottle for the last time. Your other hand was grasping his scrawny, yet toned, arm.

Church stared at your flushed face thanks to intoxication, your hands were so warm against his cool skin and your chest was barely coming in contact with his own.

"Give me the drink already, you cunt." You growled out, weight swaying back and forth on your toes, that were cramping from holding your form up.

"Make me." Church challenged, his head dipping down slightly to stare you in the glazed over eyes. He was short, but he wasn't that short to still have a height advantage over you.

Call it stupidity and maybe you can blame the several bottles of alcohol you consumed but the tone in his voice for how he challenged you in the form of a tease, pushed your libido into action. The hand that was on his chest pushed Church more up against the wall. Dropping down onto your feet, you had leaned more into his chest and captured his lips in a swift kiss.  To say Church wasn't expecting you to kiss him was an understatement, he wanted this. Whether he could admit it or not, but the male always wanted to kiss you; to touch you in ways that would make any girl blush. Dear God, maybe he hung around Tucker way too much to know how exactly to touch someone. He was too uptight to even pay attention, but even he couldn't stop his hands from moving on their own and settle wherever they pleased.

Wrapped up in the drunk kiss, his arm that held the bottle lowered and encircled your waist tightly. His other hand had moved to rest against your cheek, a shaky breath escaped his lips when your teeth had decided to bite down on his bottom lip and pull gently at the chapped flesh.  His lungs were starting to burn slightly from the lack of oxygen but the feeling of your tongue invading his mouth.

It was starting to heat up fast in the room, and all Church wanted to do was make it even hotter with you. Pulling away from the kiss with bated breath, his lips were swollen and bitten to bits by your teeth that was tugging relentlessly at his bottom lip. You were both panting slightly out of breath nearly stealing oxygen from each other.  From then you couldn't remember much but you had dragged Church into your room when you both heard the voices of Tucker and Caboose approaching the base. Drunken kisses mixed with heated quick bites were peppered along both of you, and slight bruises had decorated your hips when you woke up in your bed the next morning. Your throat was still sore from moaning and swallowing Church's dick whole when you went down on him. You woke naked in your twisted sheets that stunk heavily of sex and semen that had left more than one stain on your standard satin blue colored sheets. Church was nowhere to be seen and the only reminder you had of that day was his dark blue boxers that had still spots of precum that were tossed across your room. From that day on it turned into more quiet sex in your bedroom, or you dragging church by the chest plate to one of the caves and fuck him for as long as his libido could last.

Biting your lip, your gaze dropped slightly as your cheeks flushed in a slight embarrassing hue. For something so small as just screwing, that was caused by your drunken endeavors, had spiraled into something so complicated that it made your heart hurt a little more and flowers bloom in your lungs for that reason.  

"You are royally fucked." Tucker spoke up once you managed to finally stop spilling your only secret about fucking his 'leader' of Blue Team.

A small snort escaped your mouth before you lifted your embarrassed gaze to lock eyes with Tucker, who was biting his bottom lip in an attempt to snicker or at least try to teasingly grin just to lighten the mood.

"Well I might not be entirely, I stayed up all night trying to break this stupid illness." You stated, reaching over behind his back to grab at the opened book that held pages of notes and different stupid solutions that could or couldn't work on you.

Handing the book to the male beside you, you had laid back on your bed. Bare feet dangling over the edge of your bed. One hand nestled against the back of your head to support it and the others was rubbing at your tingling chest. The too familiar feeling of coughing or at least feeling your chest flutter with an itchy feeling that would probably cause a new round of spasming coughs if you thought about it for too long. Since yesterday you haven't coughed since, and you would be damned sure if you had to cough again so early in the morning. The flipping of pages and the soft chuckles that escaped Tucker's mouth was a sure sign that he was reading through everything you had written down hastily. It'd be a huge shock if he could even read what the hell you wrote, maybe he was laughing at your illegible crackhead ideas.

"Lung transplant and move to Mexico. That's a new one." Tucker said, his shoulders lightly shaking in chuckles that were being held back in order to save your crumbling dignity.

"Well, it sounds stupid when you say it out loud, Lavernius." You muttered bitterly, eyebrows knitting in how absurd you probably sounded for backing up that idea.

"Found any ones that have seemed to be a sure-fire way?" Tucker finally closed your book once his eyes scanned over the last thing you wrote down and underlined multiple times in bold, black lines.

Distraction."A distraction. Maybe if I can find something to take my mind off Church I can officially force my heart to accept something new and allow those damn flowers to wilt and die." Moving your other hand behind your head, your shoulders rose in a soft shrug.

"Think anyone would be willing to let you screw them for a few days just to get over this asshole?" Tucker asked, his head turning to gaze down at you as you had laughed in response.

"No, it's not all going to be sexual you dingus. I just need a friend or someone to take my time and steer me clear from trying to fall even more for that ghost of a human being."

Tucker closed the book and rested it on the bed before he had plopped down next to you on his side. His eyes roamed over your face for a moment before he spoke up. Well if no one does volunteer, and you're out of options. I volunteer."

"I'm not going to fuck you." You deadpanned. You tilted your head to look at him straight on and you'd be damned if you didn't notice how close you two were laying next to each other.

"I didn't say that I'm just saying if you maybe wanted to you know where my room is." The male wiggled his eyebrows rather seductively or so he hoped. To you his little eyebrow wiggle made him look way too funny but it did put a slow spreading smile on your face.

"I'll keep that in mind." You replied with a roll of your eyes. You rose one hand without thinking and brought it to his nose to flick the end in a taunt. He had grabbed your hand once you had flicked his nose. Fingers had nearly wrapped around your own and the flush of warmth had pressed upon your open palm.

Your breath hitched in your throat unconsciously and your gaze automatically drew to his deep chocolate brown orbs.  Neither of you spoke, but the shallow breathing that left your lungs was speaking volumes out loud.  You didn't know who moved closer to each other but nose you could feel his breath on your face and the tip of his own nose was brushing against yours. For someone who seemed to be so terrible on making a move, or being a 'ladies man,' Tucker had gained a blush down his neck and over his entire face. He turned several shades into a rich red color from just his emotions alone. Tucker swallowed noisily like even he could sense the shifting atmosphere in your room. From what turned into just a casual air had shifted heavily into something so dense that left the air around you warmer and thick.

The fingers around your hand had squeezed gently and tugged it so it was placed around the back of his neck. Tucker moved slowly like he was scared that you'd shove him away and kick him out for even as just laying a hand on your body.  Your other hand planted on his chest and you had moved until your chest was nearly brushing against the back of your hand. Tucker's other hand move to lay on your waist, fingers pressing against your side with the right amount of pressure that made you shiver in bliss.  Here's your distraction, take it and forget about that asshole already. You nearly scolded yourself, and you'd be damned if you weren't about to let this chance go. You couldn't, you were so vulnerable and Tucker was leaning in already. With another shaky breath that slipped past your parted mouth, the male had captured your lips with his own chapped ones.

Tucker kissed like he practiced for this, or like he had too much experience. You doubted the latter, every time you decided to retaliate in his inappropriate advances it left him stuttering and biting down on his tongue way too quickly. Overall the pressure of his lips had left you sighing contently into his mouth, your body relaxed even more as his arms now moved to wrap around your waist and pull you more into his solid chest. The smell of Tucker overwhelmed your senses and the hints of men body wash had your mind growing numb with pleasure. Both arms were now wrapped around his neck and your fingers were playing with the hairs on the back of his neck; leaving him to shiver under your touch. It brought a smirk to the corner of your mouth without even breaking the kiss. His lips had easily parted your own and allowed his smooth tongue to invade every corner of your mouth.

A small moan that you didn't mean to let out had escaped from the intrusion. The pressure of the kiss deepened and your lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen, but feeling lightheaded and kissing your teammate feverishly was something you didn't want to end. Finally, you pulled away, but not without sinking your teeth into his bottom lip and pulling at it lightly. A quiet groan had left Tucker, and the sound of panting filled the room. Your eyes locked once again for another moment before you started to lean in for another kiss.

A sharp knock had split you both apart and nearly had Tucker scrambling off your small bed. Your heart hammered in your chest from the sudden scare had you snap out of your short-lived libido of maybe screwing Tucker in your bedroom.

Your name was muffled behind the other side of the steel door by someone who was the last person you ever wanted to talk to. Texas. Running a hand through your hair, you spared a glance at Tucker who was trying to get his bearings. His lips were swollen from kisses and his eyes were glazed and dark, way darker than normal. The look he had nearly caused you to flock to his side again, but you couldn't with the black armored ex-freelancer standing outside your door. Taking in a quick breath you opened your door rather roughly and were face to face with a golden visor.

"May I help you?" You said, voice holding a bit of irritation. Your eyebrows twitched when Tex didn't respond but instead looked over your shoulder to see Tucker standing in the background. You hoped he managed to extinguish that heated look already, you didn't need Texas to ask you why the male looked like that.

"We need to talk," Texas spoke her gaze still glued to Tucker before her helmet tilted to now turn to face you once more. Your veins froze to icicles under your skin, and your eyes narrowed when she continued. "Alone."

[passanima]

watched Mirror Mirror (2012) and live commented it to my friend... and ended up having a lot to say!

that whole mess under the cut

WARNING for mentions of sexual assault, rape and suicide (... yeah i was not expecting that)

good things: 

it's funny, it's original, the clothes are fantastic, they get it's a fuckin fairy tale and aren't trying to make it gritty, i love the dwarves (except one who acts kinda creepy around snow), the introduction to the movie is told by the evil queen and is computer animated in a very stylistic way and that's cool

bad things:

1/ the director is indian i believe and he made the world very multi-cultured LOOKING. the castle looks indian, there's an african inspired location, some chinese decorations... but almost everyone is white. and while in movies that are very european looking you can "forget" about how everyone being white is weird... here you have a constant reminder that... this isn't normal

2/ snow white... isn't great. i don't get what they were trying to do with her character. she's very innocent like the disney one at first and almost act like a child (and do really stupid things)... then she's trained by the dwarves to fight and becomes more badass and self-assured... which, nice. but she just... feel off? like she's not a real person. also at time things she says/does looks manipulative... and if it's done on purpose, cool i guess, that would be an interesting take on the character. but the thing is. i'm not sure it's on purpose? all the writing on her character is so obvious otherwise i don't see why they would make this part subtle. she just makes no sense

3/ the prince is awful. literally the worst character. think about the most boring disney prince. he's worst! and on top of that; a creep. he has sexist lines and has a sword fight with snow at some point where he repeatedly slap her butt. and dismiss her and tries to flirt with her. completly ignoring what she has to say.

4/ so obviously the romance between them is awful. it's a classic love a first sight but PAINFULLY literally just on appearances. like all he has to say about her is "she's so pretty... her skin... her hair... she's perfect" but it's not better in her part either. they're both shallow as fuck. and we're supposed to pretend this is true love.

5/ there's a rape joke. completely weird and unnecessary. worst, the "haha" part what that it was a man that got raped...

6/ i don't fuckin know what this movie is trying to be. it start pretending the main character is the evil queen with her narrating and SAYING it's her story not snow's. then it put emphasis on snow's father giving her a dagger, foreshadowing she's going to be a fighter princess. and her whole character arc is to go from the abused naive girl who stays at all time in her room to realizing the queen is ruining the knigdom and going all robin hood on her ass to give the money back to the people. but then she's back to classic princess with the literal worst love story. like what! is the plot! and who! is this about!

7/ this scene i just paused on. prince got under a spell to fall for the queen. snow finds out and kidnapp him. then with her dwarves she tries many things (mostly violence) to snap him out of this. until they get to fairy tale logic of "oh wait it has to be a true love kiss" so they all look a her. and she's like "this will be my first kiss" and act all bashful... but not like real bashful? again she looks manipulative for some reason. she's smiling like she just told an obvious lie and is pleased they brought it. i'm so confused over her character! but anyway the dwarves kinda flip over it and one get closer to her and says "oh i can't let this be your first kiss" and i was cheering cause i thought he meant the kiss wouldn't happen but then another dwarf got mad cause he thought the first one meant to kiss her so i was panicked but he went "of course not!" so i relaxed for a bit but it's such a rollercoster and would you believe me this isn't the worst part yet? boy... 

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so the prince was attached the whole time and remember they've been quite violent to him to far. he was crying and in pain and not understanding the situation. so that's already fucked up

but anyway what the first dwarf meant with this not being right is that... she doesn't look pretty enough for her first kiss. like. she needs to be fixed up before it. and go put make up on her. but... you know the beat up prince who's been crying for at least half an hour? let's not touch him, he's good.

i get this is a dumb point when he's literally taken as hostage but who thought... him looking gross was fine but her not wearing lipstick? disgusting!

so anyway she goes to kiss him (and did not ask for consent)... he looks at her with the most deperate face and says "please don't do this" AND AT THIS POINT I’M NOT SURE I CAN KEEP WATCHING THIS

i liked the movie over the top tone... but in this case it's just disgusting because as the rape joke this isn't taken seriously

a kidnapped, tied up, beat up man, who's been crying, and who's BEGIN to not be... like... sexually assaulted... is supposed to be funny

i don't feel full sympathy because he didn't mind sexually harassing HER earlier but what the hell, you know? 

unpaused just to see if she's stop and had to pause again because as she come closer he's visibly SCARED and keeps repeating "no"

this is obviously wrong and scary as fuck but the tone is trying to pass it as funny and i can’t deal with this

HE'S! MAKING! SOUNDS OF DISGUST! AND DISTRESS! AS SHE LEANS IN TO KISS HIM! AND THEY FUCKIN PLAY! ROMANTIC MUSIC OVER IT!

i know he's under a spell and it's good to get him out of it but it's SO creepy also i have to add they go with the true love kiss logic... but she literally has no clue if he loves her or not. she's just as bad (on matter of love) as her step mom

(it's the step-mom who put a love spell on him cause she wanted to marry him and didn't care for his consent... and look! snow assuming he loves her (because that's what she want) and kissing him without his consent!)(what the heck! you can't! make your hero do the same thing as the villain??) 

she stopped for a second and i barely had the time to be relief... for the movie to disappoint me YET AGAIN with her not actually feeling wrong about the whole situation but simply asking the dwarves to leave because she “needs privacy”

like, is she a villain?

hope we get a reveal the subtle manipulative stuff was actually planned and she's evil cause that's the only way i can accept any of that crap

"come back to me" she says to the prince

as if he's... her fuckin fiancé and not a total stranger still? does she even know his name. i don't know his name. just that he's a prince 

in fact, weird thing... i know the name of the country he's from... but not his name

is it on purpose to say he doesn't matter, is just there to be used like a toy by both the queen and princess? i'm scared i'm giving the movie too much credit like with the "snow is manipualtive" thing 

looks at this... you can't make a more "no pls don't" face

he's even sucking his lips in to show he doesn't want to be kissed... but she did anyway!

and i guess his spell was lifted cause he then looked like he was fine with it (which i feel... wouldn't happen even if you took the fake love for the queen off? like he's still in a very creepy situation)

AND the dwarves that were still here... ask to each other "do you think she's enjoying herself" and another answer "yea seems like it"

so my question is...  to enjoy kissing someone without their consent... who were VERY vocal about not consenting... what the fuck are you other than a villain?

he, uh... just thanked her

"thank you for saving me" ... for the kidnapping. and being tied up to a chair. and beaten up many times. and sexual assault. thanks for all that! 

what’s happening now is that a monster? is attacking? and snow lock them (dwarves + prince) inside to fight the monster alone. so +10 manipulative points and +10 stupidity points cause she learned combat recently and still suck at it

she says to the prince, no joke "i've read a lot of stories about princes saving princesses... i think it's time to change that" which uh

very in the face "girl power" thing that would have been fine in a different movie...

but you can't call yourself a fuckin savior after what you did to him + you can't save someone if they're not in danger (she locked them in before anything happened they just hear the monster outside)

"it was the perfect first kiss" bitch

also she's certain the monster is after her for some reason? but at no point in the movie they showed or said anything to imply that... so it just sounds like she has a big ego and think everything is about her............ a bit like the queen!

(NOW they reveal the monster act under the queen. so YES he's after her... but literally she had no reason to believe that up to this point)

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the queen is enjoyable as fuck tho

it can happen that you love the villain more than the hero but here it feels so bad... liking ursula over ariel is fine cause ursula is just more fun and ariel is annoying. it's not like you cheer for ursula to win, or not fully at least. she's just more entertaining...

but here. i legitimately want the "hero" to fail, and while i know the vilain is a bad person and her winning would be awful... i would still prefer that? and that's just fucked up

ideally they would both die

what is this movie how do you fuck up your writting so bad you can't cheer for anyone

also, again, even ignoring all the sexual harassement (from fuckin both side) they have no reason to love each other... they just find the other hot and that's it. you can't pretend "true love" with that! i'm so tired of fairy tales and their retelling always fuckin that part.  if they don't have enough time to know each other and feel more than physical attraction... you have no right to use any of that true love shit!  literally WHERE is the love?!

visual cool stuff: the palace colors is white and yellow and it stays consistant in the costumes and i like when movies does fun stuff with the color coordination

we're at the last 20 minutes of the movie and the queen starts narrating again...  so we're back on this being HER story?

just choose one plot 

turns out the monster is snow’s dad under a spell (she thought he was dead for years now so that must be... fun to realize)

also the MIRROR doesn't make sense 

what the movie implies is that... instead of a witch, the queen is a regular woman who simply use the mirror's magic at her advantage 

but the mirror acts like a person and we were never told it was forced to obey the queen in any way? the mirror even seems to despise her in a very... god-like way? like someone so much more powerful that you just looking down being like "oh that's the choice you make? disappointed but not surprised" 

but if you're a person with free will and disagree on the way she use your magic... and you're not tied to her by a spell of sort... why obey her at all? 

ALSO already said snow sometimes acts weirdly suspicious/manipulative... but there's also times... the actress forgets to act? or something? where she has no reaction or the wrong one, to situations. like when she woke up in the dwarves house with all of them staring down at her... she acts really calm, barely asking questions. full situation is that it's the first time she sees them (or their house) so stranger danger, and the night before she was almost murdered and running around in the forest, panicked, until she fainted. but then she wakes up and has no reaction. completly blank. this time she discover her dad isn't dead and she she does react... but barely. like it’s not such big a deal

she's just weird and her character makes no sense

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they do the apple scene in the most BIZARRE way

i knew it was a snow white story but i didn't expect the apple to happen anymore cause the plot went so far off the original tale

so what happen is the pince and princess get married, as much as it pains me to say it, and THEN... the queen (which i just assumed died cause she was aging extremly fast after her spell got broken and the mirror looked happy about it so i understood it was watching her die live) comes to the wedding and just after the vows are done she gets to snow and goes "it's modest but if you could accept this apple as a gift for your wedding day"

the situation is so weird because it was part of snow character developpement to wise up and not being naive as anymore AND YET she’s ready to bite into it

and just who the fuck show up at a wedding with an apple... doing the apple scene here was a choice but not one i understand!

oh WOW she does actually realize something is up and stop herself before bitting into it... i’m so glad at least one thing in this movie makes sense

AND THEN she does something interesting that remind me of a detail i wanted to talk about!

in the beginning of the movie, when the queen was narrating, we learned that her dad last gift to her was a dagger. and now at like 5 minutes before the end i was wondering... when will it show up again? technically it did before. she used it in an early scene to cut an apple (another reason i thought they would keep the apple scene out: with this being an allusion to the original tale like "haha you get the ref?") and then the dwarves gave it back to her in a fight but she didnt end up using it so i was confused

but here she is using it to cut a slice of the apple...

then smiles at the queen... and says "age before beauty" (what does that even means)(guess it's to do with the queen express aging process) and "it's important to know when you've been beaten" in such... a cunning way

no way all the weird manipulating bits she has was just random, movie pls

+ 1000 manipulative points because now she’s giving the slice to the queen

who... accept it 

cut to the mirror who says "so it was snow's story after all" like YEA i know it's been for a while you only pretended otherwise for the first ten minutes

we're back on the marriage scene and the body of the queen disappear, her clothes falling on the ground implying she did eat the poison apple on her own volution, while snow look at this happens... while smiling... and everyone around scream in confusion and panic

but now they’re clapping? why? they don't even know who it was or what happened to her. they just saw a random old woman disappear magically... are they clapping thinking it was a magic trick? again, i’m confused

snow then moves to the center of the room... looks at everyone... and for an explanation she just smiles

indi music plays and she starts dancing

i'm not... joking

she made her step mom commit suicide and is dancing about it

AND THEN START SINGING

there has been no song until now, it wasn't a musical, and again the director is indian so he can do whatever he wants, but giving this a bollywood ending with indi music, dancind and singing... when everyone is white... is super weird and tone inconsistent I DON'T GET WHAT IS HAPPENING

"i believe in love" is the lyrics of her song

but how do you believe in love when... you have no love for your spouse? or how little you cared about your dad return? or how at the beginning of the movie you were chocked by the kingdom poverty and went all robin hood for them but then completely forgot about it? or the love/forgiveness you didn't have for your step mom (not that she deserved it but)

WHAT TYPE OF LOVE DO YOU BELIEVE IN

most of the song is just “i belive in love” over and over but there’s some other bits like “follow the colors of your dream” and that makes me wonder... what is snow’s dream?

she was given no goal except for her (very short) robin hood moment. she didn’t want a man, just happened to find one. she didn’t want to kill her step mom, just did a random experiment to see if she could force her to commit suicide... so just what are those lyrics about?

every part of her song make me believe even more in my theory that she’s the real villain because she’s way too happy about this

but also this whole song segment... feels fan made? like fans who had fun dressing up as the characters and just wanted to film themselves dancing to make some kind of parody video. this just clash this badly with the rest of the movie

everyone looks happy and is singing and dancing... and i'm just left wondering... why?

a woman died (and again they do not know who she was) in a weird way where her body simply disappeared, then the new queen smiled and started singing about love and they all went with it

it's not even... like a disney movie where the song serves a role. with people singing instead of talking to keep going thru the plot but in a fun way

it just feels out of place and weird

and that’s how the movie ends! on a sudden love song pretending it's an happy ending!

and technically... it kinda is? all spells are broken, the evil queen is dead, there was a wedding...

but i just feel bad and confused and upset

because they kept pretending snow is a good person... when she acted manipulative/evil TOO MANY TIMES to be ignored

like fuck last thing she did before singing was smile in a evil way looking at her step mom dying

also it gave no explanation on the mirror's deal. it looked happy at the queen's death... but why? and also why let her use you if you hate her and what she does

all i feel about her song at the end... is that she's the evil queen now. and is doing her first spell. forcing everyone around to dance and think everything is ok when a woman just died in front of them... she's manipulating them into beliving in her and that they're happy and have nothing to worry about

but the kingdom won't get better, because snow has stopped pretending she's nice and naive, clealy showing her excitment at someone's death... and not caring about her people well being anymore. they think they won with the last queen gone...  but the new one might be worse

i even think snow will find the mirror and they'll start this game all over again

last queen thought it was her story... the mirror just looked at her making her moves, knowing what would come out of it... knowing it was snow's story 

but it's not even snow's story

because this is a loop and there will be someone else after her that will think they're using the mirror... but really it's the mirror using them for it's own entertainment

and that's why it's called mirror mirror

the mirror is the main character