#what we learn from sunlight
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wordsoftheheartandsoul · 19 days ago
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What We Learn From Sunlight Every morning the sun rises, and every single day, the sun's rays take us on a journey. Hour by hour, as light moves across the sky, we experience the world in new color and shadow, until the sun finally sets, only to start its journey again the following morning. Day by day, the sun brings forth new life. Even if it's just gentle sunrays pouring in through the nearest window, we know sunlight makes a difference in our lives. And with every sunrise, we are reminded that as long as we are here, under these glorious golden rays, there is more to our stories. Another day is dawning, and with every new morning, we are invited to step out into our futures with a sense of hope and adventure. So whenever you feel the heat of the sun's beams or notice her light dancing through trees, may you remember this radiant truth - there is more to your story. There is more for you just up ahead. And no matter how much you've already seen in this life, Light will continue to show up for you every day. Dare to keep your heart open. Let every beam of sunlight be a fresh reminder of this calling: New adventure awaits you.
Morgan Harper Nichols - You Are Only Just Beginning
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aesethewitch · 1 year ago
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When I was a kid, we moved into a house that had a huge lilac tree out front. It was mostly rotten, and it needed to be taken down before it fell. It took a while, but eventually, it was gone.
Mostly. A couple years later, little lilac babies popped out of the ground in its place. My mom was determined to get rid of them, because she'd planted a beautiful flower garden there, and the lilac trees would overshadow and kill the whole garden. I insisted on saving at least a few saplings. She said fine, but I had to dig them out and put them in pots myself.
So, I did. I spent days digging little lilac bushes out of the ground and putting them into pots. Some couldn't be saved, but some could. When all was said and done, I had five brand-new lilac saplings. Seven or eight years old, and it was my absolute pride and joy.
Three died due to sun scorching, severe drought that no amount of watering could save, and perhaps just being moved from their place in the ground. But two survived, and I was awfully proud of them! I'd go out and talk to them every single day. I watered them by hand and made sure they were fertilized properly. I learned all about their favored environments, and I was determined to make sure they lived.
One of my mom's friends saw what I was doing with the lilacs. She asked if she could have one to put in her backyard, and I agreed on the condition that she take very, very good care of it.
It's now fucking enormous. I'm talking ten feet tall and bursting with beautiful purple flowers every spring. My mom still gets updates each year as they start to bloom, which she forwards to me. And all I can think is, "That's my friend! Thriving some twenty years on, there it is."
The other tree nearly died, too. It lived in a pot for far, far too long. I wanted to plant it somewhere in my parents' yard, but my mom was reluctant. Eventually, we agreed to put it in the far back garden. It grew okay for many years, despite the shade, but in all these years, it's never bloomed.
Last year, the massive tree casting massive shadows over the lilac and the garden cracked in half and fell. It tumbled into the garden, crushing part of the nearby shed and destroying a few plants beneath it.
It missed my lilac by inches.
The clean-up is long done. The rest of the tree has been cut down, and my lilac has full sunlight for the first time in fifteen years. It won't bloom this year, I know. But it's got new shoots up. It's taller than ever. I spent half an hour a few weeks ago praising it for surviving all this time, dreaming about its future and telling it how I believe it'll become the tall beauty it's always been meant to be.
I think next year, I'll see flowers.
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humanjarvis · 2 months ago
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alternative medicine
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synopsis: after a tough mission, you stop by zayne’s house for a checkup. but caleb thinks you should’ve come to him.
tags: condescending jealous dom caleb, stubborn reader but justified, friendly zayne cameo, caleb’s got a weird scent thing, bickering, massage, groping, cockwarming, riding (forced), non pip-squeak pet names (baby & princess), manhandling, biting, marking, boob slapping, hair pulling, rough…not sex?
pairing: caleb x fem reader/mc
word count: 2.2k 
a/n: yall didn’t think i could still write dom caleb did u. maybe i can’t and this sucks. anyway i have turned the wholesome caleb text above into a monstrosity. if ur partner ever gets jealous when u go to the doctor irl u should ditch them immediately 
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The blare of a car horn outside your bedroom window rouses you from a deep sleep. 
Late morning sunlight greets you as you blink your eyes open, surveying the mess you’d left your room in when you’d flopped into bed last night. Clothes, gear, and bags strewn all over the floor…yesterday’s mission had really taken a lot out of you.
And when you try to sit up on the mattress, you find it took even more than you thought.
Because your body hurts. Stiffness and soreness in every muscle, to the point where every movement has your limbs screaming in pain. Even your worst period cramps couldn’t compare to the army of cells trying to tear themselves apart in your body right now.
You’d really overdone it.
Staring at the ceiling, trying not to breathe too hard in case that hurts, too, you rack your brain for options. 
Back to sleep? Back to sleep would be good. Would be great, if you didn’t have plans with Caleb tonight. And flaking out this late would only make him worry. 
Power through it? Maybe. But as you try to rise again, a sharp burn in your abdomen has you gasping and crashing back down. Maybe not.
Medicine? The sensible choice. But you’d been so busy with work lately that you hadn’t been to the pharmacy in ages, and everything you had that might have helped you was expired. 
Lucky for you, you have friends in high places.
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“Ow,” you groan, wincing at the sudden pressure on your neck. “Yes, it hurts when you touch there.”
“As I warned you it might,” Zayne replies smartly. “Who was it that requested this exam, again?”
“Sorry,” you grumble, lips tugging into a deep frown. “You’re using your free time to see me, I know. I’ll be quiet.”
Your friend in a high place was off work today, you’d learned when you texted him earlier. And while you’d been more than happy to leave him in peace and let him enjoy his day, when he’d learned of your condition, he’d all but insisted you come over for treatment. 
So with gritted teeth, protesting limbs, and a quick stop to a nearby coffee shop, you’d made the short trip to his neighborhood. When you’d sucked up the pain and knocked on his door,  he’d welcomed you with open arms, especially when he saw the milk tea you’d brought as compensation. 
“You don’t work for the rest of the week, correct?” Zayne asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. 
“Nope. We had it so rough yesterday, Jenna gave everyone a long weekend. I’m free to writhe around in agony ‘til Monday,” you answer, grimacing as he checks your forearms. 
“No need. You have a moderate case of overexertion—which might feel agonizing, but it’s nothing simple painkillers can’t fix,” he decides, stepping away to rummage through a cabinet. 
“Here, take these,” he says, holding out a familiar bottle of medicine. “One pill every six hours until the pain stops. You can keep them for future use, but let me know when you’re feeling better.” 
“Thanks, Dr. Zayne,” you sing, sliding down from his bar stool to give him a friendly hug. As his large hand pats your back, you breathe in his scent: clean and light, with a hint of jasmine. “What would I do without you?”
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As you swing open your apartment door and flick on the main light, a hulking figure startles you much less than it should.
Freshly showered and in his nightclothes, Caleb is already inside, flipping through a book as he lounges on your armchair. An hour early, but what did you expect, coming from him?
“Hello to you, too,” you greet him wryly. “Of course you can come in. Make yourself at home, why don’t you?”
“Well, this is my second home. Would be my first, if you’d let me sleep on the couch,” he quips, a boyish grin lighting up his face as he reaches you in four long strides. “Sorry for bein’ so early, pip-squeak. I just couldn’t wait to see you.” 
“Mm, I missed you too,” you admit, standing on your tiptoes to give him a chaste peck. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day—I’m just so tired,” you whine, falling into him dramatically.
A half-second after he catches you, Caleb falters. “Did you go to a cafe today?” he asks hesitantly. “You smell different.”
“…No?” you blink slowly, staring up at him in confusion. “I got some milk tea earlier, but I only went through the drive-thru. What do I smell like?”
“Like jasmine,” he frowns, scanning you with slightly narrowed eyes. 
“Oh, that. I said I was tired, right? It’s because of my mission yesterday. I could barely move when I woke up, so I went to see Zayne earlier. You know he loves jasmine stuff—his house smells like it a little, too. Anyway, he gave me some medicine for the soreness. I’ll probably take some before we go to bed,” you explain, fishing the pill bottle out of your purse and rattling it in the air. 
“His house?” Caleb asks, voice strained with alarm.
“What?”
“You saw Zayne, but not at his office. You went to his house for medicine?”
“Uh, yeah,” you shrug simply, leaving his embrace to stand up straight. “He was off today.”
On Caleb’s face is a mix of disbelief, betrayal, and envy. But you, too busy fiddling with the pill bottle, are too distracted to notice. 
When you look up again, his only emotion is cool, confident resolve.
“Alright then, pip-squeak,” he cheers with a dangerous glint in his eyes. “We gonna watch the movie, or would you rather mess with that bottle all night?”
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Your movie night starts off slow, normal, with all the whispered jokes and casual touches of the ones before. 
So when Caleb puts more pressure where his hand rests on your shoulder, you think nothing of it, at first.
But when that hand starts groping and squeezing, fondling your soft flesh under the thin fabric of your shirt, you swivel your head and eye him suspiciously. “What are you doing?”
“Just givin’ you a massage, pip-squeak,” he grins, his murmur barely audible over the gunfire on screen. “You’re still sore, right? Let me help you out.”
Unconvinced, you scrutinize him until his innocent smile dissolves your willpower. “Okay,” you say warily, turning back to face the screen as large hands caress your body. “Thank you. But don’t distract me—this is the good part.”
***
The whole third act of the movie passes, but Caleb never stops. Your shoulders, arms, stomach, hips—every part of you he can reach, pliant under his eager touch. 
And you can’t focus. 
It’s when his wandering hands greedily squeeze the fat of your breasts that you pause the movie with a choked gasp.
“You don’t have to…I’m not sore there,” you chide, cheeks flaming from embarrassment and something more.
“Hm? Is it not helping? With the way you gasped just now, I’d think it felt really good,” he mocks, leaning in to tease you up close.
“It’s not bad. You’re just…being thorough,” you grumble, retreating from his advance.
“More thorough than Zayne was earlier, I hope,” he shoots back bitterly, and it all clicks into place.
Scoffing, you turn to face him fully, making his hands fall to your sides. “You can’t be serious. Of all the things to be jealous of—”
“I’m jealous that my girlfriend would go to another guy’s house for help when she has me on speed dial.” 
“Oh my god, Caleb, you’re not a doctor! I would’ve called you if I needed a ride home or something, not if I needed medical help.” 
“When was the last time you saw a doctor just because you were sore?” he lifts a brow, slowing his movements on your body. “I can help you just like this. You’re feelin’ better since I started, right? I can tell you are. You’re less tense, and you don’t wince when you move anymore. That’s me. Not him.”
He’s not wrong. Since he started his massage, your muscles had relaxed almost miraculously, as if his hands were the antidote to your pain. 
You won’t tell him that, of course. Pride and all.
“I’d be perfectly fine with Zayne’s painkillers,” you snap haughtily. “I don’t need you for everything, you know.”
At that, Caleb freezes entirely. 
But only for a moment.
“Is that so?” he asks lowly, breath fanning the shell of your ear. There’s a threat in his voice. A promise. Things never ended well when he took that tone with you. 
“Wait,” you try to backtrack, nervously bracing your hands against his chest. “I didn’t mean it like that, I-I just—”
Before you can plead your case, Caleb hauls you up and into his lap, molding your back to his front with an iron grip.
“I know exactly what you meant, pip-squeak,” he whispers in your ear. “But I thought you’d be tired of me provin’ you wrong by now.”
As you squirm helplessly in his hold, his hands return to your chest, pulling your shirt up to pluck and grope your tender skin. It’s hardly a massage anymore, with how rough he’s being—rolling your nipples under skilled fingers, tugging them until they ache with pleasure. When he cups one breast with merciless ownership, making your flesh spill out between his fingers, you moan and wriggle in his lap, reigniting the burn in your thighs. 
“Still hurts?” Caleb asks, laying his head on your shoulder tauntingly. 
“N-no, it feels g—”
He cuts you off. “It does, huh?” he pouts with feigned pity. “Poor baby, still so tight…don’t worry, I’ll loosen you up.”
Before you can react, he lifts you slightly to free his hard length from his sweats. Under your skirt, his hand pinches the fat of your ass hard before he slides your soaked panties to the side. 
And then slowly, steadily, Caleb lowers you down on his waiting cock, inch by devastating inch. 
Your mixed gasps fill the room as you adjust to the feel of each other—you suction his length, he savors your warmth.
“This better, princess?” he grits out, one hand still fondling your breast while the other grips your hip.
“Caleb,” you groan, annoyance and arousal blending together. 
He coos in response, pressing a gloating kiss to your hair. “Aw, it is? I know it is.” 
Chuckling breathily behind you, he slaps the flesh of your breast with a reverberating smack, and you squeal as your skin ripples. “He didn’t help you like this, right? I hope he didn’t,” he jeers. “Otherwise, I’ll have to pay him a visit.” 
Hissing at the lingering sting on your chest, you stomp his foot with your smaller one. “You are so childish! It wasn’t like that.” 
“You’re melting around me, baby,” he ignores you, shifting his hips to press deeper into you. “You don’t need those pills, you don’t need him—not while I’m here. I’m the first one you tell. First one you cry to. No one else. Isn’t that right?”
Mewling at the new angle, you shake your head wildly, bringing an arm up to tug at his hair. 
Huffing out a laugh, Caleb sinks his teeth into your neck in warning, sucking harshly before lapping at the mark. “No?” he asks, grinding your hips into his so roughly that stars cloud your vision. 
“When you're hungry, you call Caleb. When you're thirsty, you call Caleb. When you're happy you call Caleb, when you're sad you call Caleb. And when you’re sick, you still. Call. Caleb,” he finishes, punctuating his last command with three punishing thrusts into you. “Say yes.”
Stubborn as ever, you deny him, still squirming in his grasp. But when he bounces you on top of him, forcing your aching thighs and ass against his swollen base in slick, lewd slaps, you lose the dignity you had left. “Yes!” you squeal in submission, digging your nails into his thighs to ground yourself. “Y-yes, I’ll come to you when I need something. Always. I should’ve this time, I’m sorry.”
As soon as the words leave your lips, it’s like the tension in the room evaporates. 
Sighing contentedly, Caleb wraps an arm around your middle, pulling you flush against his chest to lay a kiss on your temple. “I know you are. But it’s okay now, right? Lesson learned for next time.”
“Next time,” you agree dazedly, eyelids drooping as his length still pulses inside you.
“Now, why don’t you pass me the remote? We have a movie to finish.”
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The movie ended an hour ago.
But Caleb was far too satisfied watching you doze off on his cock to ruin the moment. 
Now, slipping out of your heat with gentle precision, he gathers your sleeping form in his arms, cradling your head to his chest.
You smell like him now. Good.
Carrying you to your bedroom, he lays you down and slips a loose t-shirt over your head before pulling the covers to your chin.
For a moment, he watches you, a serene smile gracing his lips in the moonlight. 
And then, he dips a hand into his pocket, fishing out the stolen pill bottle and dropping it in the trash.
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strang3lov3 · 20 days ago
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Kitten Fur
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Tommy takes a deep breath, groaning as his cock stirs in his denim. “S’just a big secret to keep,” he says. Tommy continues, “An’ I can keep quiet for ya, but I gotta know what’s in it for me, right? S’all I’m askin’.”
You can’t get anything past Joel, but that won’t stop you from trying.
Tags - one shot, smut, unprotected piv, creampies, uncle tommy blowjobs/facefucking, cum swallowing, cunnilingus, fingering, spanking/violence, Joel gets dark, then comforts you, cat scratches, wound care, coercion/manipulation/blackmail, dark/icky daddy themes, daddy kink, dark fluff, girthy legal age gap. 8.5k words. A/N - thanks for all the love and patience 🩷🫂 thank you L who edited, i love you sweet friend
The flowers are blooming nicely. 
In the spring, when the snow was all but melted, dirty and icy on the brown grass, you were depressed. It was still cold outside and there wasn’t much to do. Joel took you out to pick out some seeds, give you something to care for, to keep yourself busy. Touching soil - it’s good for a person, you know? 
You water Joel’s flowers first: roses, daisies, tulips, and his favorite, lilies. There are honey bees buzzing about, worms wiggling through the soil. You like your flowers better, your snapdragons and gardenias. You love how your honeysuckle smells, so sweet and sugary you could almost taste it. 
Joel joins you in your shared garden, wearing a gray t-shirt and some weathered jeans. His curls are combed back, and he looks handsome in the sunlight. He reaches up and pulls a birdfeeder off of the hook of a post that’s taller than you can reach and fills it with seed, then fills a hanging glass container with sugar water for the hummingbirds. 
Joel dampens a rag with some oil and runs it along the metal post, top to bottom, all the way up and down. 
“What’re you doing, Daddy?” 
“Tryin’ somethin’ out…” Joel puts the cap back on the bottle of oil. “Gonna see if this won’t keep away the goddamn squirrels.” 
“I like the squirrels.” 
“I know you do, Pumpkin, but they’re stealin’ all my birdseed.” 
You make a face. “Maybe I’ll put peanut butter out or something for them, then. So they don’t steal your birdseed.” 
“Oh, will ya?” Joel sounds less than impressed. The critters are giving you trouble too, snacking on your flowers you’ve worked so hard to grow. You don’t mind, though. It’s a joy to watch them frolic through the garden, chasing each other. You like seeing familiar faces, but your favorite part is seeing the babies. If you’re quiet, and if you’re lucky, you’ll catch glimpses of the sweet baby animals. 
Like you’re doing right now. Under the rocking swing you and Joel sway on is a little black kitten, hanging out all alone. It’s cleaning itself, pink tongue darting out to lick its paw before swiping it over its ears. “Joel - Daddy,” you hiss urgently, tugging on Joel’s shirt. 
“What is it, Punk’n?”
“Shh.” Joel makes a face in mock offense that disappears when you point to the kitten, and then he tilts his head. “Ahh. Kitty cat, huh?” 
“Mhm. Can we bring it inside?” 
Joel sighs. “No, sweetheart.” 
Ouch. He’s inspecting his work, considering if petroleum jelly might be a better move. Those fuckers are crafty. “Hon, do we still have some Vasel - oh, don’t you give me that look.”
You cross your arms and raise your eyebrows. “M’not giving you a look.” 
Joel knows better than to get into an argument with you about whether or not you’re giving him a “look”. He’s learned to pick and choose his battles with you, and he’ll gladly lose that one, but this one, absolutely not. 
“Honey, he’s probably got worms an’ fleas and whatnot. He can’t come inside, baby.” 
“But it’s hot out,” you argue. “And - he’s black.”
“Look at ‘im,” Joel says, pointing to the kitten, which is now laying in a shady patch of dirt. “He’s coolin’ off in the shade. He’s alright, sweet pea. Look - why don’t ya go an’ play with him, okay? Tell him ‘bout what a mean old man I am. I’m gonna go make us some lunch.” 
“I’m really not hungry.” 
“Ya really are,” Joel says, parroting your tone. He gives your shoulder two quick squeezes and heads inside to make you both some sandwiches, give you some time to spook the kitten and get your mind un-addled from this thing before you’re in too deep. He hopes that this stray will keep its distance from you, letting you know itself that it wants nothing to do with you. Tough love, Pumpkin.
You approach the kitten slowly, who looks defensive at first. Eyes all wide and alert, on edge. You sit down gently, careful not to make any sudden movements, and hold out your hand for the kitten to sniff. You wonder what it is. Joel kept calling it a he. 
The kitten sniffs you cautiously, tickling your skin with its quick little breaths. It seems to approve of you and rubs its cheek along your finger, tail curling left and right. “Hi, kitty,” you smile, using one digit to scratch the kitten right between its ears. You pluck a dandelion and wiggle it in front of the animal, giggling as it bats at the flower. “Shit,” you swear when it scratches you. 
The little kitten climbs into your lap and purrs happily at you, letting you scratch its little body all over. You lift it for a moment to raise its tail and take a peek, and yep, Joel was right. “You are definitely a dude,” you laugh. 
Joel pushes the curtain of the kitchen window to the side to look at you and the kitten. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head when he sees you smiling, as beautiful as that is, watching your little friend chase a white butterfly. He cuts your sandwich on the diagonal per your standing request, then slides open the window and calls your name. “Lunchtime,” he says. 
You come walking, and Joel opens the door for you, stopping you before you can make it inside. “Ah, ah. Put the damn cat back outside. Nice fuckin’ try, kiddo.” 
It was worth a shot. You set the kitten down, mumbling something Joel can’t hear, and you’d better thank your lucky stars for that. The fuckin’ mouth on you, Jesus…
“Wash up. Soap an’ water.” 
After washing, you sit at the table with Joel, eating your sandwich. He made an extra for himself, but you’re still working on your first half. You swallow a bite of food, sip your water. “I didn’t see any fleas on him but I’m gonna give him a bath,” you tell Joel casually.   
“Uh huh, good luck with that.” Joel takes another bite of his sandwich. “An’ then what?”
“Then…I think I’m gonna keep him.” 
“Yeah? That so?”
“Yep.”
You eat the rest of your first sandwich, feeling Joel’s eyes on you in the quiet room, the tension hovering like fog. You know your choice of words was bold. Gonna. A choice you made on your own. 
“Pumpkin.” 
You pull at a loose string on your shorts. 
“Look at me,” Joel says, “‘Fore you get any ideas,” and you look at him. “No. You are not gettin’ a cat.”
“Why?” you whine, dragging out the syllable. 
“Because,” he explains, “Y’eat me outta house an’ home already. I don’t need another mouth to feed.” 
“But I’ll take care of him!”
Joel scoffs, then sucks food off of his thumb. “Yeah, you’ll take care of him?” 
“I take care of my flowers,” you shoot back. “And yours.” 
Joel gives you a look, lips pulled in a frown and his eyebrows raised. You’re testing him, and by god you’ve got him, sharp fucking girl. “Uh huh. When’s the last time you did your chores, huh? Dishes? Remember those?” 
You cross your arms and push your plate away, upset with the direction of this conversation. 
“And you’re tellin’ me you’re gonna keep up with a cat? Scoop his shit out of a litter box? I don’t think so, darlin’.”
You look at Joel, then back at your plate. And back to Joel again, who’s still staring you down. He’s not budging, and you don’t think you’ll be able to get him to, either. Finally, you sigh in defeat. You lean forward and rest your head in your hands, frowning. 
“Oh, enough with the poutin’. He’s got a mama who’s gonna come lookin’ for him anyway, right?”
“Maybe,” you shrug. You don’t think so.
“Look, honey,” Joel says, “You can go out there an’ play with him as much as you want, but he’s stayin’ outside. That’s my compromise.” 
Compromise. Joel’s been trying to work on that, little by little. The give and take of it all. He’s got you tied on a short leash and he knows that, so he’s been trying to give you more freedoms and privileges here and there. 
As soon as Joel says it, you’re out the door with your other half of the sandwich. You find the kitten right where you left it and you tear off little bits of chicken and bread, watching as the kitten happily eats. All those little noises it makes, its little ears wiggling. Joel follows behind you, then stands with his arms crossed as the scene plays in front of him. 
“What?” 
Joel raises his eyebrows. 
“It’s my sandwich, Daddy. And I’m not even hungry.” Lie. 
“You know damn well what, sweetheart. He can fend for himself.”
You ignore Joel, and feed the kitten a little more food. 
“Fine. You can fend for yourself. Don’t come whinin’ at me when you’re hungry later.” Joel spins around and heads for the kitchen to rinse off the plates, keeping a watchful eye on you as you play with your little friend. 
Joel watches you spend the entire day with the little guy, and how gorgeous you look lying in the grass in your shorts and pink shirt, teasing the kitten with sticks and flowers. You lie on your back and cover your eyes with your forearm, and the kitten curls up on your chest, the both of you basking in the sun for an afternoon nap. Joel loves these sounds of your sweet giggle, your real giggle. But you, sweet fucking girl, are going to break your own damn heart.
When Joel calls you in for supper hours later, he has to stop you from sneaking the kitten into the house under your shirt. He tells you you’re walking funny, and you tell him your back hurts. When Joel calls bullshit, you tell him that he walks funny when his back hurts too, Daddy. 
You don’t make it far before Joel has you putting the kitten back outside. You and Joel eat in silence, and he notices you staring out the window, your eyes following the kitten the whole time. He also notices the food you hide in your cloth napkin. 
“I don’t see his mama,” you mumble. 
“She’s out there, honey.” 
You don’t like that you can’t see the kitten when the sun goes down. Anxiety nags at you as Joel reads to you while rocking in his chair. You’ve hardly paid attention to the story. 
Joel yawns loudly, stretching his back as he does so, then puts his heavy hand on top of your head. “Ohh, I’m beat, baby. Let’s go to bed,” he says, gently scratching your scalp. You melt under his touch for a moment before he’s patting your ass, urging you up. You slide off of his lap first, then spin around and offer him your hands. Joel groans as you try to pull him up, deliberately making you do the lion’s share of the effort. It makes you both laugh. C 
You follow Joel toward the stairs, but stop as he continues up. “Daddy?”
“What-y?”
“Can I have like, five more minutes?”
“Whatcha need to do?”
“Nothing,” you mutter, lying, and Joel knows it, too. 
“Uh huh. No funny business, Pumpkin.”
You head back for the living room and open Joel’s blanket chest to retrieve an afghan for the kitten. You take Joel’s vinyls out of the crate they sit in and place them neatly on the floor, careful not to break anything. It’s not like Joel will care, right? He doesn’t even use his turntable. 
Although…Uncle Tommy might. He likes to play music when he sneaks over and plays with you. 
Outside, you set up a little bed for the kitten, and you leave food scraps out for him, too. You call for him, making kissy noises and pss pss pssing into the dark. You’re relieved when he comes running and snacks on the meal you’ve made for him, and you take care to make sure he likes the blanket you’ve picked. It takes him some time to get comfortable. “I can get you a different blanket, bud–”
“Pumpkin!” Joel shouts with his mouth full of toothpaste through the screen window above. 
“Coming, Daddy!”
But you don’t. Joel can picture the scene as he spits out his toothpaste and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, you tickling that flea-ridden cat. He goes downstairs in his pajamas and joins you outside, watching with his arms crossed as you care for your fuzzy little friend. 
“Hey.” Joel tilts his head and squints. “That my record crate?”
“...yeah.” 
“So where are my records?”
“The floor, I guess,” you answer quietly. Joel rolls his eyes, then snaps and points to the door. “Gonna throttle you, kid. Alright. You kiss your little buddy goodnight and get your ass upstairs. S’bedtime.” 
Joel watches you tenderly kiss the kitten, right on its forehead and between its ears that are a little too big for its head yet. He ushers you inside with a hand on your lower back, and he gets snapped at by you when he closes the door too loudly. When he kisses you on the forehead and whispers to you goodnight, he knows what’s running through that restless mind of yours. “Hey,” he murmurs. “He’s gonna be alright, okay?” 
You check on the kitten every morning and night, and you spend the majority of your days with him as long as he’s around. Joel watched you empty an ice tray into a bowl once, rolling his eyes as you filled it at the sink. “I’m just making sure he has water,” you said. 
“Uh huh. Does he really need ice water, Pumpkin?” 
“It’s his favorite, Daddy.” 
Because he likes to bat around the ice cubes. He paws at them and splashes around a little, then licks his paws. 
You gave him a name after about a week. Snoopy. It just fit the little guy. 
Joel says goodbye to you one morning, telling you that he’s stopping at the market to pick up some eggs real quick, but that he’ll let you stay outside while he’s gone. It’s only a few minutes anyway, and Joel knows you’re fixated on your little friend. You won’t be getting up to much trouble, so he gives you this inch. “Been goin’ through ‘em awful quick. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would ya, Pumpkin?”
“Mm-mm,” you lie, holding a handful of scrambled eggs behind your back as Joel kisses you on the cheek. “Can you get feathers, though? From the chickens? I want to make him some toys.” 
Joel rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but he returns to you with feathers anyway. You’re a very crafty girl, fashioning some sort of teaser toy out of said feathers and a stick. Joel notices the kitten’s been getting bigger. 
You and Snoopy have a whole routine. Every morning when you greet him, you sing his name. “Snooopyyyy,” you call, and Snoopy emerges from his crate or a patch of flowers. “Big stretch,” you’ll smile, watching as the kitten leans back on his paws, then forward, wiry little tail flinching while he yawns. Snoopy sings back to you as he greets you, and he’s got the sweetest, chirpiest little meow. 
You’ll spend the afternoons playing with him, and when he tires, he naps on you while you read or doodle or something. Sometimes you’ll bring a blanket outside and nap in the grass with him, enjoying the smell of his sunlight-warmed kitten fur. His eyes are turning green now. They were blue when you first met him. 
If Joel’s not home, you’ll sit by the window and play with him through the screen. You wish he’d stop locking the fucking doors. There hasn’t been an incident in a long time, but Joel says that trust has to be earned. But he also says you’re getting there, though…he’s been saying that for a while, hasn’t he. 
Joel makes a deal with you. He stops arguing about you sneaking the kitten your dinner and instead prepares Snoopy-sized portions on a small dish so long as you eat well and take care of your chores without Joel asking you to. It seems to be working well. 
But Joel still won’t budge on letting Snoopy stay. No cats, he says. 
You kiss Snoopy goodnight each night, wishing so badly you could go to sleep with him safe in your arms instead. 
You haven’t seen such an ugly sky in so long. The clouds are green and purple like shades of bruised skin, a front rolling in quickly. You felt iffy all day when it was just gray and teasing a storm, but the storm’s here, now. 
It looks bad. There’s lightning and thunder, though it’s not yet begun to rain. Wind blowing through the screen knocks over papers in Joel’s house. Snoopy’s not by the window with you, and you can’t quite see him, but you can hear him. The kitten cries in anxiety, all alone as he hides from the storm. God, you fucking hate this. You call out to him and promise him that everything’s okay, but it probably does little to comfort the creature. 
Everything’s worse after the first few drops of rain pour from the sky. It begins pouring, then stops for a second. You mop up the mess inside with a towel. There’s a ping…ping…ping, ping against the gutters, hail then slamming against the side of the house as thunder roars. They’re large pieces of hail, too, and you worry Snoopy’ll get hurt, or worse as the storm escalates. Jackson saves its alarms for infected only, so there’s no way for you to know what’s ahead. 
You try opening a door. Then another, and another. Joel’s locked them all at multiple points.
There’s a strange feeling that comes with punching out the window’s screen. You’ve done it before and faced the consequences, god. That awful day in the forest, being hunted down by Joel with Tommy’s dog. Joel terrorized the living fucking daylights out of you that day, scared you from ever pulling that shit again. But here you are, climbing out the window, just as you did before. You remember the mistakes you made that led you to Joel finding you. You wouldn’t make them again. 
Thunder claps and snaps you out of your train of thought. Snoopy cries and you run to him, he’s hidden under his blanket in his crate. Rain soaks you as you run to him and quickly gather him, ignoring his frightened scratching as you hide him under your clothes. What compels you back inside is Snoopy’s safety more than your own, truth be told. 
You drip water onto Joel’s floors as you slam the glass window shut, then quickly bring Snoopy up to your room. The kitten is drenched, the same as you. He’s shivering and scared and you are too, but you dry him off before you dry yourself. You create a safe, warm space for him under your bed, which he seems to appreciate. He stays hidden as the storm rages on. 
With Snoopy safe, you head back downstairs to assess the damage. The screen has blown halfway across Joel’s yard, so you open the window and sprint after it to fetch it. You are so deeply fucked if Joel sees what you did to his window - the screen is broken and coming apart, and you couldn’t begin to figure out how to fit it back into the window. Especially not in this storm. 
“I’ll always come and getcha if you’re in a jam,” Uncle Tommy had told you once, like he was your guardian angel or something. He whispered it, actually, and tapped your nose with his long, thick finger. Wearing that crooked smirk of his, his eyes sparkling with something darker than mischievous. 
“No questions asked?” 
“Don’t know about that,” Tommy replied. “But if ya need me, sweetheart, I’m there. I know what it’s like to be your age, to find yourself in all sorts’a dicey fuckin’ situations.” 
“Did you get in trouble a lot?” 
“Sure did, honey.” 
“What’d you do?” 
Tommy chuckled and swiped at his nose, then shook his head. “Ohhh, darlin’. All kinds of shit a sweet girl like you don’t need to know a goddamn thing about.” 
You think now’s about as good a time as ever to get Uncle Tommy and help yourself out of this jam you’re in. You race to his house through the storm, exhilarated as it’s the first time you’ve been out like this since…you don’t even know when. It feels fucking good. 
You pound on Tommy’s door, praying to god he’s home and lucky for you, he is. You barely stutter out an explanation before you’re grabbing his hand and leading him back to Joel’s, then showing him the screen you need him to fix. “Jesus, girl. Your daddy’s gonna beat ya black and blue, you know that?”
“I know. I need your help,” you tell him. “Please, Uncle Tommy.” 
Tommy picks up the screen and opens the door, then gestures for you to move inside. “You up to no good?” he asks, only to be met with no answer. “I ain’t helpin’ ‘less you tell me what crime exactly it is that you’re makin’ me a goddamn accomplice of.” 
“Fine. I’ll show you.” 
“Show me, huh.” Uncle Tommy follows you up the stairs and into your room, where he takes in everything. The books you read, the clothes you wear, the locked window. The baby monitor Joel turns on at night. 
You lift your bedskirt and scratch the floor, and out comes Snoopy. Cautiously, as he’s still frightened by the storm. You scoop him up in your hands and bring him to Tommy, who scratches the kitten between its ears. “This is Snoopy,” you introduce, “He’s been my friend for a while but Joel - Daddy won’t let me have a pet.” 
“Mm,” Tommy hums, now scratching beneath the kitten’s chin. He can fill in the blanks himself - you broke out to rescue this kitten from the big bad storm, and now you need him to cover your tracks. “You sit tight and I’ll see what I can do, sweetheart.” 
Tommy leaves you to go clean your mess. It’s an easy enough fix - staple the screen back into its frame, then fit the entire thing into the window. He could do it in his sleep. 
He calls you downstairs to inspect his handiwork, make sure everything’s to your liking, and it’s as good as new. “Well, whaddaya say, kiddo?” 
You push on the screen, smiling in both relief and mischief. It thrills you to get away with this, to have this little secret of your own. That alone is an accomplishment when Joel keeps you under the microscope the way he does, isn’t it? You don’t have much that’s just…yours. Joel takes it all from you. 
“Thank you,” you grin, wrapping your arms around Tommy’s strong middle. You squeeze him so tightly and he hugs you back, kissing the top of your head while stroking your back.
“S’what I’m here for, darlin’. Always got your back,” he murmurs softly, then clicks his tongue. “Your daddy’s a fuckin’ hard ass, ain’t he?” 
“He–” you stop yourself from continuing. Tommy laughs at that. 
“You can say it, hon. Not gonna snitch on ya.” 
“He’s a hard ass, yeah,” you laugh, and it feels good to get it off your chest. It’s hard to talk about Joel in that way when he tells you that he’s always right, and when he punishes you for questioning him. Daddy knows what’s best for ya, Pumpkin. Ungrateful ass spoiled fuckin’ brat. He gave you life and he can take it away, you know. Keep fucking testing, watch what happens. And quit with the fuckin’ waterworks before he gives you somethin’ to really cry about. 
Tommy laughs too, swaying you from side to side in his warm embrace. It goes quiet, the only sound in the room being the rain splashing against the windows. It’s all but died completely. 
“Guessin’ you’re wantin’ Uncle Tommy to keep quiet about this too, then, huh?” he asks quietly, pointing to the window. “Yeah?”
“Please,” you answer. 
Tommy takes a deep breath, groaning as his cock stirs in his denim. “S’just a big secret to keep is all,” he says. Tommy continues, “An’ I can keep quiet for ya, but I gotta know what’s in it for me, right? S’all I’m askin’.”
You pull away, brows pinched in concern. Tommy shrugs and grins in a very matter-of-fact way, putting his hands in his front pockets. “C’mon. Fair’s fair, ain’t it? I do a lil’ somethin’ for you, you do a lil’ somethin’ for me?”
“What - what am I supposed to do for you?”
Tommy chuckles darkly. “What do you think, girlie?” He reaches for your hand and presses your palm against his bulge, sighing softly at the pressure. Even like this, you can feel just how big he is. “Got such a pretty mouth, sweet pea,” Tommy says, reaching for your face. He runs his thumb along your bottom lip and gives it a little pull, smirking in his wolfish way. “Why don’tcha get on your knees f’me?”
You kneel so pretty, Tommy thinks as he unbuckles his belt. He pushes some hair out of your face with one hand, then frees his cock using the other, resting his hefty balls on top of the elastic waistband of his boxers. His cock is too big and heavy to slap against his stomach, and bobs with the weight of itself. He holds it between his thumb and forefingers, guiding the tip toward your mouth. “Gimme a kiss, honey,” he says, pushing himself toward you. 
His cock is so warm against your lips as you kiss him, and he smells so musky, slightly bitter. His pubic hair is less gray than Joel’s is, but getting there. It’s about as overgrown, though. And he’s markedly thicker than Joel is, though maybe not as long. He’s a fucking choking hazard, is what he is. 
You’re happy to take Uncle Tommy’s cock in your mouth, truthfully, even if the whole act caught you off guard. It’s just another way to pull one over on Joel, after all. You’d probably be in big trouble if he knew what you were up to. Good thing he’ll never find out, huh?
You swirl your tongue around Tommy’s thick head, running your tongue over his wet slit, tasting that little bit of prejack that’s beaded there. Tommy holds your face with one of his large hands, stroking softly at your skin as you peer up at him. Uncle Tommy looks like nothing good for you, and you can’t help but feel absolutely intrigued by that. He’s the knife you do tricks with, the matches you play with. 
You run your tongue along the underside of his shaft, eliciting a deep groan from him. “Don’t you tease me, sweet pea. Ain’t nice.”
You part your lips and take his head into your mouth, then bob yourself on his length, about halfway or less. Tommy watches you, waiting to see if you’ll work your way down, nose buried into his thick patch of hair. “Ahem,” he clears his throat, “Lil’ deeper now, honey. All the way down. I know your daddy raised ya better’n that, huh?”” 
You pull off of Tommy, a string of saliva that connects him to your lips breaking. “Daddy doesn’t make me take him all the way,” you tell Tommy.
Tommy shrugs, makes a face. “But you ain’t suckin’ your daddy’s cock right now, are ya, girlie?” He positions himself back at your mouth, then begins pushing in. “Uncle Tommy plays by different rules.” 
Tommy takes the reins here. Hand on the back of your head, forcing his way deeper down your throat. He’s not a brute about it, of course. He’s gentle, but firm, pushing his cock inch by inch into your warm, wet, welcoming mouth. He hushes you when you gag, choking on his girth. “Slow down an’ catch your breath,” he says. “Through your nose. M’not goin’ nowhere.” 
His words soothe you. There’s a bit of panic that comes with him being so deep down your throat, but Tommy’s generous enough to give you the time to get used to him. Once you stop squirming, stop making those silly, cockdumb noises he loves so much, Tommy pulls out. And he pushes back in, and pulls out again. He repeats this until he’s steadily fucking your mouth, hand tangled in your hair. It’s less of something you do for him and more so something he does to you, reminding you of exactly who’s standing and who’s kneeling, here. 
“Open wide,” he tells you. “Quickly, darlin’.” Tommy pulls out of your mouth and jerks his cock furiously, sticking his tongue out at you to indicate what he wants you to do. You follow suit, and Tommy paints you in his load, all over your tongue and the back of your throat. “And swallow. That’s it, honey. Good girl.” 
You stand up, knees aching slightly. Tommy wipes a bit of his cum off your lip, then pushes it into your mouth. With a twinkle in his eye, he motions like he’s zipping his lips sealed; locks the key and tosses it over his shoulder and winks. “Pleasure doin’ business with ya, sweetheart, as always.” 
And he’s off. 
A week later, and you cannot fucking believe you got away with it. This kitten…god, what a clever, beautiful creature he is. Snoopy knows when to hide. He stays quiet, never arouses Joel’s suspicions. You’ve got a litter box filled with sand in an inconspicuous spot and you clean it daily, always when Joel’s not around. 
You have the most special connection with him. He sleeps in the pocket of your hoodie and plays with anything he can get his paws on. He still doesn’t like the rain, but he’s so soothed by your touch. And each night after Joel reads to you and kisses you, Snoopy appears like clockwork. It’s the gentlest little jump, the slightest shift of weight on your mattress. He tucks himself right under your chin and stays there until early in the morning, then watches the birds every morning, hiding behind your curtain. He does the cutest little ek ek ek’s that cats always do, probably saying nothing nice to any one of those birds. Little punk. 
Joel asked once about him. You told him that his mama probably found him, which isn’t entirely a lie. Joel says it’s better that way. 
The old man fucking bought it.
Snoopy’s curled up on your lap and purring happily as you brush him, collecting little tufts of black fur you’ll set outside tomorrow morning. The birds will have nice, warm, insulated nests for their babies, you think, smiling to yourself. 
Your nose tickles. You wipe it with your hand, putting more of his fur there. “Fuck,” you groan, scrunching your nose and wiggling your mouth. It’s in your eyes, too. It makes you sneeze, loudly, startling Snoopy. The claws come out immediately and dig into your bare thighs, and drag there as he launches himself off of you and darts under the bed. “FUCK! Snoopy, what the h–”
Blood is beading up on your thighs. Little kitten claws cut so deep, don’t they? Snoopy hasn’t quite figured out how to temper them, either, when to retract them. Blood is beading up on your thighs, dripping towards where gravity pulls it. Fuck, fuck, fuck. How will you explain this one to Joel, huh? He’s gonna come in here tonight to fuck you and he’ll see your bloodied and scratched thighs, what’ll you tell him? 
“Holy shit, okay. Ow,” you whine, hopping off the bed and hobbling toward the bathroom. The warm red dripping down your thighs makes you feel a little dizzy. It’s running toward your knees, now. “Ow, ow, ow, oh my god.” 
“Pumpkin?” Joel calls from his room. “You hurt yourself, baby?” 
Shit. Joel’s home? “No - I’m fine, Daddy.” 
“What’s ow?”
Silence. Joel knows you should have an answer for him. “Pumpkin…”
“I’m fine! Don’t–” 
Too late. Joel’s already out of his room and staring you down in the hallway, taking you in. Your bloodied thighs, the deer-in-the-headlights look. He counts the scratches on your thighs - four that are visible, all in irregular patterns. “What did you do?”
You purse your lips, squeezing your eyes shut as the cuts throb, and Joel knows you’re lying. You’re doing all your usual tells, hemming and hawing while looking to the side. “What did you do?”
Snoopy emerges from your room at that exact moment, and Joel pieces it all together. Fuming, he marches past you and down the stairs. Your stomach drops when you hear a drawer in the kitchen open, and then Joel’s stomping up the steps, wooden spoon in hand. “Again,” he spits. “Lyin’ t’me, a-fuckin’-gain.” 
“Daddy, no. Please d–”
Joel ignores you and drags you by the arm into your bedroom, where he sits on your bed. He forces you over his knee and tugs your shorts and panties down your ass, ripping them a little in the process. That fragile, old fabric. 
He hits you with the instrument, hard. He does it again, ignoring your cries of pain. Joel hits you until he can see the outline of the wood on your ass, “Tell me, Pumpkin. How’d ya pull this one off, huh?” 
Hit. You scream, then answer him. “I don’t know!” 
“You better fuckin’ speak up, girl.” 
Nothing from you, and another smack. It’s hard to think up another lie as Joel beats you raw, but you manage to. “You left the door unlocked,” you sob. “Daddy, please. I’m so sorry.” 
“When was this?”
“Like - like a week ago!” you cry. 
“Didja go anywhere?” he asks, raising the spoon to hit you again. That’s Joel’s main concern - you’ve been getting in and out? How long has this been going on? Who are you seeing, and what do you tell them? Joel’s blind and sick with rage and you, Pumpkin, you did this to him. And you did this to yourself. 
“I didn’t! Daddy, I did - listen to me, please. I’m telling you the truth. Daddy–” 
“You better spit it the fuck out, then. Go.” 
“It was storming, you left the door unlocked. I didn’t know it until I tried it. And I was scared for him, so I got him and brought him inside. And that’s all that happened, Daddy, you have to believe me.” 
“Yeah? Why should I, kid?” he pants, red in the face. “Fuckin’ lied before, haven’t ya?”
“Yes, but–”
“But what?”
But nothing. You break down and sob, waiting for more hits to come. Joel lets you cry it out for a moment, then drops the spoon. When he stands up, you’re afraid his belt is next. 
Joel walks away. He returns moments later, a basket of medical supplies in his hands. “Flip over,” he barks, still pissed off as ever. You do so immediately, and Joel sits on the edge of the bed. He spreads your thighs and inspects your scratches, then dabs some isopropyl alcohol onto a few cotton balls. 
“Don’t–”
“Shut the fuck up,” he says, wiping your injuries with the cotton ball. It hurts worse than the spankings did and makes you scream, but it distracts you from the pain of your raw, swollen, throbbing ass. “S’posed to hurt. It’s a punishment,” he says, moving onto the next one, and the one after that.
Joel fans air on your thighs, then unscrews the cap off some antibiotic ointment. He dabs a little on his fingertip, then runs the ointment over the scratches. “Don’t look at ‘em,” he warns, though you’ve already seen them. “I need ya to be honest with me.” Joel inhales deeply, then reaches for a roll of gauze and some medical tape, both half-used. “Is this whole kitten ordeal,” he asks, gesturing to wherever the hell Snoopy ran off to, “The only stunt you pulled?”
“Y–”
“Do not lie t’me again, so help me god.” 
“It’s the truth,” you answer, convincing yourself that it’s not a lie, and that you didn’t go and see Uncle Tommy, or suck his cock and swallow his cum on his brother’s kitchen floor. It’s not hard to do when your head feels as swollen as it does, sinuses all congested, cheeks puffy and raw from your tears. Anything to get through, you know…this.
Joel feels like he could fucking puke, knowing you escaped. He feels stupid for leaving a door unlocked. He feels stupid for trusting you, too. “Why don’tcha listen to me? Hm? Why d’ya have to buck me every goddamn step of the way? I put a roof over your head and give ya food and clothes an’ all I ask is that you just fucking listen.”
“I do listen,” you argue, searching for the words. “I’m trying - I really do try to, at least.” 
“Do you?” 
“Yes!” You’re defensive. Dishonest. You’re just like your daddy, aren’t you? Oh, you know the truth. You know you crave the fight and the challenge. The feeling that comes from winning against Joel…but that never seems to happen, does it? 
“Am I…bad, do you think?” 
Joel tilts his head, frowning, intrigued. “In there?” he asks, tapping gently where your heart beats and you nod, sniffling. “Oh, not at all, sweet girl. You’re not bad,” he says. He dabs some antibiotic ointment on one of the deeper scratches on your thighs, then covers it all with some gauze. “Not by a longshot. I think you’re trouble, Pumpkin, but you’re the furthest goddamn thing from bad. I love that heart of yours.” 
And Joel means that. You’re soft, tender, sensitive. Brave when you need to be. Stubborn as all get out. Joel’s special girl, always getting herself into messes he’s gotta clean up. It’s all part of parenthood. 
“You’re a good kid,” he says, “But you cannot keep doin’ shit like this to me, baby. My fuckin’ heart can’t take it.” 
Joel says it softly, in a pained way, knowing his words’ll eat at you, knowing that they already are. And they do - guilt is such an awful, nagging feeling, and it might just be the perfect motivator to get you to fucking obey. And sure, you like to hurt Joel, make him ache like he makes you ache. But causing him anxiety, deep upset…knowing what memory tugs in the back of his mind when you remind him that you can disappear if you really want to, as much as he tries to stop you. The little girl he told you about. 
Joel inhales deeply, then changes the subject. “M’gonna keep an eye on this. Cat scratches ain’t nothin’ to mess around with,” he murmurs. He lays you down on the soft mattress and brings his face close to your thigh, then gently kisses over the bandages he wrapped you in. 
Daddy’s always gonna do that, you know. He’ll always kiss your hurt all better, yes, even when he’s mad at you, yes, even when he’s disappointed in you. What else are daddies for, if not that very thing? 
Joel kisses over each of the covered scratches, coincidentally kissing his way toward your center, causing you to soak your lily-white sheets beneath your ass. You whine when he pulls away from where you need his kisses the very most. You always need him after your fights, to remind yourself that he loves you, and things can feel good with him. “Please, Daddy.” 
“No can do, Pumpkin. ‘F we screw up your bandages m’gonna have to do the whole thing all over again.” 
“Even the alcohol?”
“Reckon so,” Joel answers, laughing to himself when you pout at that. “Mmhmm, I know, sweetheart. We gotta make good decisions, don’t we?” he whispers, running his knuckle delicately along your cheekbone. “Daddy’s here to help ya make good choices. You know that?” 
“I know that,” you reply softly. 
Joel caresses your jaw softly, gently. “C’mere,” he says, but he brings himself to you. He kisses your forehead, both of your cheeks, your chin, and your nose…your lips. It’s something you don’t do enough, is kiss Joel. It’s a gentle peck at first, then deepens into something more than that. Joel’s tongue mingles with yours as he cages your body with his own. 
His hands on your neck, trailing down your breasts, pausing to gently squeeze at them. His hand goes lower and lower, fingers dipping into your heat to gauge just how badly you need this. If it’s worth the risk or not. 
And Christ, you’re soaked to the fucking bone, kid. You moan into Joel’s mouth, rutting your hips into his palm. “Ohh, fuck. Goddamn, honey,” Joel says. “I think we can do it, Pumpkin, but Daddy’s gonna go real slow and careful.” 
“Okay,” you nod, biting down on your grin. Joel will tease if he sees it. 
“Which means,” he adds, “You can’t get mad an’ throw a fit like usual when things don’t go your way. Right? Gotta be patient w’me.” 
“I’ll be patient, Daddy.” 
“Uh huh.” 
And that’s all Joel says before pulling away from you. He brings you with him momentarily, just to lift your shirt off and toss it elsewhere. Off comes his clothes next, one at a time. Joel’s in no rush. 
He lowers himself between your thighs, spreading them wide. He continues those kisses from earlier, working his way toward your center, and each one makes you throb. He kisses your lips, your mound, your belly. Joel inhales deeply, your gorgeous, warm, sugar-sweet scent. He can feel the heat radiating from your pussy on your skin, feel you thrumming with a need, a hunger only Joel - Daddy - can satiate. 
If it were a different day, if you weren’t already blemished by violence, he’d probably squeeze you hard enough to bruise. You’re soft like a peach, after all. But as promised, Joel’s gentle with you. Joel’s gentle with you as he licks a long stripe from the bottom of your pussy right to the very top, drawing a figure eight around your clit. “Guess the shape, Punk’n.”
You giggle, “Circle.” 
“Nope!” 
Joel does it again, and again, and again. “I don’t know, Daddy,” you breathe, “Figure eights?”
Joel laughs. “Attagirl,” he praises. He dips his tongue lower, nosing your clit while dipping his tongue in and out of you, tasting you. You make all the same sweet little noises you always make, quiet moans and soft whimpering. You soak his chin and the bedsheets beneath you, fingers tangling around Joel’s gorgeous, silvery curls. 
Joel savors you, like you’re syrup on his tongue. He inserts two fingers into your heat, rubbing against that special place inside you, steadily guiding you toward your release. 
Like when you lie, you have tells. Shaking, trembling thighs, a quiet voice. Joel licks and licks and licks, and there it is - cumming hard on Joel’s fingers, pulsing around them, gushing into the palm of his hand. 
Joel licks the mess, then pulls himself forward. He fits his hips between your thighs, cock bouncing between your bodies, red and swollen, beating in time with his heart. “Ready, kiddo?”
“Can I put it in?” you ask.
Joel guides his tip toward your slit, “Mm-mm. Daddy’s doin’ it this time, baby. Maybe another time, ‘kay?” 
“Can I help, then?”
Joel rolls his eyes and smiles. “Oh, yeah? You can help?”
“Mhm.”
 He’s only a man, after all. Only a daddy. Who’s he to deny his pretty girl of such a thing? “Hold me right here,” he says, wrapping your hand around his shaft. You hold him as he fits himself inside you, then let go when he swats your hand away. He enters you quicker than he used to, testing you. Seeing how you handle him. “Lookit how good ya take it, baby,” he coos, looking down to see himself fully sheathed in your warmth. He pulls out, and he’s coated in ribbons of your creamy arousal, then pushes back in. He finds a pace, then saws his hips into you. “Yeah, nice an’ easy,” he whispers, making good on his promise to fuck you gently. And like a good girl, you take it, and you don’t complain. Not for more, not for less. You moan for Joel, making all of his favorite sounds, whimpering his name in that special way nobody else gets to hear. 
Joel’s hands wander your body, squeezing whatever handfuls of your flesh he can. “Daddy!” you squeak, wincing when he grabs your thigh. 
“Shit, baby. My bad. Lemme look–” Joel pauses to give your bandages a quick peek, then continues fucking himself into your tight cunt. “Easy, sweetheart. Easy.” 
Joel fucks you gently, steadily, and you feel at home. It used to feel scary - and Joel made it scary - but there is something about it now that comforts you. Something about his body wrapped around yours, his nakedness, his weight and his warmth. Joel, finding himself closer to his orgasm, licks his fingers and massages your clit to coax your own along. 
Pleasure ripples through you, washing over you in non-rhythm. Your pulsating walls have Joel coming just behind you, pressure building deep in his gut in the same way it does yours. Balls tightening, brow pinched together, Joel grits his teeth and growls as he cums, drowning out your pleasured noises with his own. “Oh, fuck Goddamn, fuck,” he grunts, milking the last of himself before he begins to soften. 
Joel pulls out of you, then bends down and grabs his t-shirt, uses it to clean the mess he made of you. “Go potty, sweet pea,” he pants, catching his breath. 
“Daddy.” 
“Not arguin’. Go.” 
He flops in your bed, watching as you walk naked to the bathroom, watching you relieve yourself, feeling his cock stir at that, despite having just orgasmed. 
You flush the toilet and wash your hands, then join Joel in bed where he pats the space next to him. You snuggle him, inhaling his warm, sweaty skin, feeling at peace until…until you remember what’s coming after this. 
“So, uh…”
“Hm, baby?”
“About the cat.” 
“The rodent you’ve been feedin’ my eggs to, yeah, what about him?” Joel scoffs. 
“Just wondering.” 
“Uh huh. Heard ya named him, right?”
“Snoopy.”
Joel nods. “M’not mad at you for takin’ care a’ him, ya know. I’m mad about the lyin’, the disobeyin’.”
“Yeah. I know,” you whisper. Before it all feels heavy again, Snoopy jumps into bed with you and Joel, breaking the tension. He bravely walks over Joel like he’s not even there, then curls up into your side, settling right in that elegant curve between your hip and rib cage. 
“So this is Felix, huh?”
“No, his name is Snoopy. I just told you.” 
“Ahh, Snoopy. My bad.” Joel rests one hand behind his head, then scratches the kitten with the other. “Thing’s fuckin’ ugly,” Joel mumbles, using just one finger to tickle the creature. “Pretty screwed up lookin’ dog f’ya ask me, Punk’n.”
“Daddy,” you scold. Snoopy closes his eyes and purrs, tilting his head into Joel’s hand, leaning into his touch before betraying you by walking over to Joel. He lays on Joel’s chest, happily melting into those firm, warm strokes Joel gives him before settling against his neck. You hope Snoopy stays this snuggly forever. 
“Please let me keep him, Daddy.” 
“I dunno, kiddo. I’ll have to think on it.” Joel lifts Snoopy, ignoring his whines, then places him in your hands. He groans and lifts himself up and out of bed, then turns off the overhead light, leaving your lamp on. “You’re lucky I love ya,” he says, then kisses your forehead. “I mean it, honey. I do.” 
“I love you too,” you whisper, and Joel kisses you again. It’s not quite bedtime but it’s getting there, and Joel’s ready to lie in a bed that actually fits him, maybe read a book. Give you time with Felix…Snoopy…whatever the fuck his name is before he’s gone for good. Because no, Pumpkin, you cannot keep him. Rules are rules, and that cat is going outside where he belongs. 
Joel lies in his bed, reading glasses on as he flips through a book you’ve been asking to read, checking for pornography and other things of that nature, when a certain someone interrupts. Snoopy’s tugging on his comforter, clawing his way up the mattress to meet Joel, taking back his spot on Joel’s chest. “What are you doin’ here,” Joel mumbles, once again moving the kitten away. This time, Snoopy doesn’t just vocally protest, no. He swipes at Joel’s finger, nicking him right by the knuckle, then settles on his torso again. “Shit. Fuckin’ asshole.” Joel sucks his finger as he glares at the kitten. 
Snoopy stares back at him, then lowers his head and rests his chin on his little paws. “Guess you’re kinda cute,” he murmurs. “Aren’t ya.” As if on cue, the kitten flips over, exposing its belly to Joel. He laughs. 
“Bet your girl’s missin’ ya, knucklehead. Go bug somebody who actually likes ya. Scram, Felix.” 
Snoopy must’ve learned his defiance from you. He closes his eyes and opts for a nap on Joel’s warm body instead. 
There was never a definitive yes. Every time you asked about Snoopy, Joel would give you some half-hearted answer, followed by some snarky comment. 
“Can we keep him?”
“Sure, kiddo.” 
“Really?”
“Uh huh, gonna keep him and cook him up with onions an’ garlic for dinner. Since he likes to be on my fuckin’ counters so much, hm?” Joel gently pushes Snoopy off the countertop. 
“He likes to be tall,” you argue from the floor, petting a Snoopy that’s doubled in size since you brought him in from the storm. 
“Oh, give me a fuckin’ break. Likes to be tall.”
“I mean it,” you tell Joel, “I read that cats like to be up high. Maybe he’d stay off your counters if you made him a cat condo. Nice and tall.” 
“A cat condo, hm? So it’s not enough I’m sharin’ my home with this asshole, I gotta make him his own special little house, too?” 
“Well, yeah. You could make a scratching post and everything for him. That way he’ll stop scratching at your rocking chair.” 
Joel stops, then narrows his eyes at you and your little buddy. “He’s doin’ what t’my rockin’ chair?”
More dark daddy!joel here
Ty for your patience and ty for reading. Nice words keep me motivated to write. Everybody take care.
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neellscapsule · 16 days ago
Text
a son's love
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summary | being bruce wayne's fiancée isn't easy, especially when he's been with hundreds of women before you. the good thing is you have your son with you, and he won't let anyone walk all over you.
pairing | bruce wayne x kent!reader. platonic dick grayson x kent!reader
warnings / tags | fluffy, reader tries her best. bit of angst. protective dick grayson agenda
word count | 5.1k
authors note | hi there!! english is not my first languaje so there might be some mistakes, or not, it can depend :)
this is part of the kent!batmom!reader series. this can be read as part 5. you'll the other parts on the masterlist.
taglist |  @maolen @joonunivrs @c4ssi4-luv @fanfics4ever @inejskywalker @radenxd @resting-confused-face @fionnalopez @stargirl9911 @idek101-01 @shqyou @mei-simp @serendippindots @sirlovel @aixaingela @pjmgojo @antixsocialx2 @nisarelle @realiliumfr @gojoswaterbottle @connnn @jjoppees
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THE DRIVE WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE JUST OVER TWO HOURS.
“Two hours, twelve minutes if we’re lucky,” you’d said confidently that morning, balancing your travel mug of coffee in one hand and double-checking the last of Dick’s overnight bag with the other. Bruce had given you a look over the top of his own mug—black, no sugar, no soul.
“This is Gotham,” he replied. “We’re never lucky.”
And he was right. The drive stretched past three hours thanks to construction on the interstate, a four-car pileup near the city limits, and the classic Gotham exodus that happened every Friday when people remembered the rest of the state was quieter, cleaner, and didn’t smell like concrete and stress.
But you didn’t mind. Not really.
Bruce drove. One hand on the wheel, the other resting loosely on the gearshift. Aviators on. Hair slightly ruffled from the wind when he’d checked the tires that morning. Dick sat in the backseat, legs crossed under him, surrounded by snacks and his favorite blue hoodie zipped halfway up. You rode shotgun, one knee tucked under you, elbow out the open window, and your hand in the wind.
The car smelled like leather and your favorite lavender-scented travel wipes. Summer was in full swing now, which meant sunlight poured across Bruce’s arm, and the sky outside was that clear, humming sort of blue that Smallville did better than anywhere else.
It had been just over a month since Dick moved in. A few months more since the press release about the engagement hit the Gotham Gazette like a slap to the face. The article had used the words “bewildering” and “suspiciously convenient” in the same sentence. And that was one of the nicer ones.
You were born and raised in Smallville. Gossip there was practically currency. You learned early that it wasn’t about stopping the talk—it was about not letting it decide how you walked through town. In Gotham, it was louder. Glossier. Paparazzi, editorials, entire segments of talk shows dedicated to who wore what ring and whether or not you were pregnant. But it didn’t get under your skin.
Bruce had handled it exactly the way you expected: with the emotional range of a damp napkin and the subtlety of a live grenade.
“They’re saying it’s fake,” he’d told you one night, pacing your shared walk-in closet while you were still in a towel post-shower. “They think you bribed me. That you are a gold digger.”
He had said it as if it was the biggest offense of his life. You’d blinked at him, toweling your hair.
“They also think we got secretly married last month and that I’m already pregnant with twins. And that I’m secretly a soy sent to take all the billionaires down.”
That one got an actual sound from him. Somewhere between a scoff and a strangled laugh.
You’d shrugged. “People talk, Bruce. Small town, big city, it doesn’t matter. Back in Smallville they thought Clark was a government clone for three years because he grew six inches over a summer and got good at baseball. People just... need something to say.”
“I hate it,” he’d murmured, dropping onto the edge of the bed beside you.
You’d reached out and threaded your fingers through his. “I don’t. Because I know it’s not true.”
But the talking wore at him in ways it didn’t wear at you. And that was how you found yourself here—on the open road with the windows down, a smiling eight-year-old in the back seat, and your fiancé muttering about tractors under his breath while trying not to let the GPS recalculate a fifth time.
“You okay back there, bug?” you asked, craning your head toward the back seat.
Dick grinned up at you from where he was cradling his tablet. “Yeah! This is fun!”
“Still think so after three hours in traffic?” Bruce asked, glancing at him in the rearview mirror.
“I’ve been on longer trips,” Dick replied with a shrug. “Circus trains. Sometimes for days.”
That sobered Bruce a bit. Your fingers found his on the console between you and gave them a quiet squeeze.
Things had settled since Dick came come. The good kind of settled. Mornings were softer now, fuller. You’d wake up beside Bruce—something that still made your heart flutter in a completely unfair way—kiss his shoulder, brush your teeth while he stood behind you half-asleep, his hand on your waist like a paperweight keeping you tethered to the moment. Alfred made breakfast with quiet efficiency. You packed Dick’s lunch and walked him to the car like a suburban sitcom. He complained about math homework, asked if he could start karate (“we’ll talk about it”), and still hadn’t lost the habit of sleeping with one foot sticking out of the comforter.
“Well, this train stops soon,” you said, voice light again. “You’re going to love the farm. It’s huge.”
“Yeah?” Dick leaned forward a bit. “Like, how huge?”
You smiled. “Like, ‘can’t-see-the-end-of-it-even-on-your-bike’ huge. My parents run everything. Dairy cows, chickens, goats, sheep. A few horses. And acres and acres of crops.”
His eyes widened. “Real cows?”
You turned in your seat fully now, facing him. “Oh, yeah. Big ones. Brown ones, black-and-white ones. One with a weird splotch shaped like Florida on her side. And they moo at the sunrise like clockwork.”
“Can I pet them?”
“If you want.”
“Do they bite?”
“Only if you get between them and food.”
“That’s... fair.”
“They’re friendly,” you said with a shrug. “They’re like large dogs that smell like hay and don’t know how to be quiet.”
Dick laughed. “I’ve only seen cows in books. And elephants in real life.”
You smiled gently at that. “Yeah? Ever fed a goat?”
“Not unless you count the time a clown goat stole my hat.”
You blinked. “. . . A clown goat?”
“Circus stuff,” Dick said vaguely. “You wouldn’t get it.”
You turned to Bruce. “Did you get that?”
“Nope.”
“Me neither.”
You caught Dick smiling in the rearview mirror again.
“Are there really pigs?” he asked, leaning forward between the front seats, seatbelt cutting diagonally across his little chest.
“There are pigs,” you confirmed with a grin. “Loud ones. One of them’s named Sugarfoot. She’ll be your best friend if you bring her scraps.”
“Scraps?”
“Like leftover food. She’ll eat anything but especially likes peach peels and toast crusts.”
He gawked. “What about... circus peanuts?”
Bruce’s brow furrowed from behind the wheel. “What are circus peanuts?”
“They’re gross,” you said flatly. “Don’t feed anything those.”
Dick giggled and leaned back again, kicking his feet lightly. “What about the horses?”
“Three,” you nodded. “Two workhorses and one very old, very cranky pony. Her name’s Miss Patty. She’s missing a tooth and absolutely will bite you if you try to pet her before she’s ready.”
“That’s awesome,” Dick whispered reverently, like a kid being told he was about to meet a dragon.
You smiled, curling one leg beneath you in the passenger seat. “We got the nicest sheep as well. His name is Buttons.”
Bruce’s voice was amused. “You’re making these names up.”
“Swear I’m not,” you said, holding up a hand. “Buttons has been around since I was in middle school. He likes music. Especially banjo. My dad says he’s the reincarnation of an old musician.”
“That explains so much about your family,” Bruce muttered.
“You love my family.”
He glanced over at you, lips quirking. “I do.”
You pecked a kiss on his lips, giggling softly at the yuck sound that came out of Dick’s mouth.
“But for real,” you said, resting your chin on the back of the seat now, “the farm is something else. My mom makes fresh cinnamon rolls every morning. Dad insists on teaching people how to ride horses, even if they say no. And Clark will probably show up before dinner even though I told him not to.”
“You think he’ll bring Lois?” Bruce asked.
“God, I hope so. He’s less weird when she’s around.”
“Clark’s weird?” Dick asked, surprised.
You shrugged. “Farm weird. You’ll see.”
Bruce turned off the main highway and onto a long, winding road that started to look more and more like Kansas the deeper you went. The trees shifted. The air changed. That thick Gotham tension peeled off your shoulders slowly, like a winter coat you didn’t need anymore.
“Was it boring?”
“Sometimes. But mostly it was simple. Peaceful.”
“What did you do?”
“Well... I helped with the animals, especially in the mornings. Fed the chickens, gathered eggs, milked the cows when I was old enough.”
Dick looked scandalized. “You milked cows?! With your hands?!”
Bruce raised an eyebrow. “You drink milk every day.”
“That’s different! That’s bottle milk. This is cow milk!”
“Same milk, baby,” you mumbled, grinning. “But it’s not so bad. You’ll see.”
“Do you have a tractor?”
“Of course.”
“Can I drive it?”
“No.”
Dick pouted.
Eventually, the city gave way to rolling green. The horizon stopped being broken by towers and started bending into soft hills and pastures. You felt your heart shift in your chest, like it always did. It wasn’t homesickness. Not exactly. It was more like the ache of something familiar, calling softly from the bones.
You turned your head slightly, watching the familiar mailbox come into view. KENT, it read in bold white letters. Weathered but proud. And just beyond it, the long dirt road that led to the farmhouse—a two-story white structure with a wraparound porch and a rocking chair that hadn’t stopped creaking in twenty years. A barn just beyond. Sheds and silos and tractors and fencing. And wide, wide skies above it all.
“There it is,” you said.
Bruce slowed the car as he turned up the long path, tires crunching against the gravel. Dick pressed his face to the window.
“Whoa,” he breathed.
You smiled.
“Welcome to the middle of nowhere, baby bird. See those fields?” you pointed. “My old man plants corn there. Over there’s wheat. And the far side? Pumpkins, watermelons, whatever’s in season.”
“There’s so much space.“
“I told you.”
Your ma was already outside. She waved wildly, apron fluttering behind her, and your dad stood beside her, one hand raised in that steady, solid Kent way.
Bruce parked the car. Before he could even put it in park, Dick was unbuckled and scrambling out of the back seat, eyes wide.
“This is like five circuses!” he shouted.
You opened the door and stepped out, your feet crunching into gravel. “Don’t cry, don’t cry,” you muttered to yourself. “You can cry later.”
Dick made a noise that sounded like joy and disbelief all in one. He pointed at a chicken. “It’s real!“
“Yes,” you said. “And she doesn’t like being chased, so be gentle.”
Bruce chuckled.
Your mom reached you first and wrapped you in a tight hug, murmuring something about your hair being longer than last time. Then she pulled back and cupped your face, eyes glassy.
“You look happy,” she whispered.
“I am,” you said.
And then Dick stepped forward, backpack slung over one shoulder, eyes wide and uncertain.
You turned and gestured. “Mama, Dad—this is Dick.”
Your mother’s face softened immediately. She crouched a little and smiled.
“Well, aren’t you just handsome as all get out,” she said warmly. “We’ve heard so much about you, sweetheart.”
Dick blinked. “You have?”
“Of course,” crouched down in front of him, sticking out a hand. “You’re all she talks about.”
You blushed lightly. “Lies.”
“True lies.”
Dick looked at the hand. Then at you. Then shook it, awkward but firm. “Thanks for letting me come.”
“Come?” your mom laughed gently. “This is your home too, honey.”
Dick blinked. He didn’t say anything.
But he didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day.
The next few hours passed in a blur of warm air, fresh lemonade, and laughter. Dick met every animal. He held a baby goat like it was made of glass. He shrieked when a pig sniffed his leg. He got pecked by a chicken once and then demanded a rematch.
Now the golden sky outside was dimming into dusk, the air carrying that peaceful hum only Smallville evenings could offer—the buzzing of insects, the slow rustle of wheat fields, a distant owl, and the occasional stubborn squeal from Sugarfoot the pig. She hadn’t stopped begging since Dick gave her a crust from his sandwich.
You were at the sink helping with dishes when the familiar whoosh of displaced air passed through the open window over the stove.
You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. But you did turn around to open the door.
“About time!” you called, grinning.
“We had to stop for pie!” Lois shouted back, sliding off Clark’s back like a practiced gymnast. “Clark heard about a new bakery halfway between here and Metropolis and wouldn’t shut up about it!”
“I brought two kinds,” Clark offered, sheepish but proud.
You hugged him first—tight, firm, grounding. His arms came around you like always, anchoring you to the world.
“Took you long enough. Ma’s been asking about you since breakfast.”
“I brought her Lois. That should buy me a couple forgiveness points,” he replied, kissing the top of your head.
Lois got you next, rolling her eyes. She always smelled like expensive lipstick and newsroom ink. Her hugs were fierce. Comforting. “What he means is, I had to remind him it was tonight and that showing up in his suit would probably give the local mailman another heart attack.”
You laughed, hugging her back as tight as you could. “God, I missed you.”
“Missed you more.”
Dick was on the floor at the edge of the kitchen, playing with the old box of mismatched toy soldiers and tiny animal figurines your dad had kept since your childhood. He froze when he looked up.
He lit up like the sun, then turned and ran straight at Clark with his arms open.
“Uncle Clark!” he shouted.
Clark looked stunned for all of a second before catching him, arms easily wrapping around the boy, spinning him once like a leaf.
“Hey, buddy,” he said, laughing. “You’ve grown at least two inches since I saw you!”
“I’ve been drinking milk,” Dick explained seriously. “And I do jumping jacks.”
Then, he kissed Lois’s cheek and smiled proudly when she ruffled his hair and told him he would be as tall as Clark in any moment. He watched them go, and finally landed his eyes on you.
You watched the moment land. The way his eyes narrowed. How his brows furrowed. He leaned in close and whispered, “I have to tell you something, but you need to promise that you won’t say anything.”
You pushed your fingers to your mouth, closing an imaginary zipper.
“Uncle Clark is Superman.”
You coughed gently, biting back a smile. “Is he now?”
“I can tell,” he whispered quickly. “He landed like whoosh, and he’s huge, and his hair does the same thing, and—he’s totally Superman. I have been keeping the secret because I think he doesn’t want any of us to know.”
“Well,” you said softly, kneeling beside him, “that sounds like a pretty big secret to keep, huh?”
Dick nodded gravely, like a knight being sworn into sacred service.
You gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Then I guess it’s lucky it was you who found out.”
Dinner was loud. Warm.
Your mom cried once—not dramatically, just a soft wipe of the corner of her eye when Clark passed her the potatoes and said it was good to be home. Your dad kept pouring lemonade, Bruce buttered every roll within arm’s reach, Lois recounted a dramatic story about a senator’s toupee, and Dick sat between Clark and you, asking questions between every bite of sweet corn and meatloaf your ma had been slipping into his plate.
Clark answered every single one with patience, wit, and affection. He always had been the best at that. The best at listening like a child’s voice was the most important sound in the world.
Bruce stayed quieter. Not silent—just watchful. He always did that when he felt like the odd man out. You bumped his knee under the table when he got too still. He nudged you back, then took your hand and played with your ring under the table while Dick explained to Clark the entire backstory of a tv show he had been watching lately.
Later, after dishes were stacked and your parents had excused themselves to bed—your mom insisting you didn’t have to clean up, and your dad offering Clark a jar of pickles “for the trip back”—the house settled into that soft nighttime rhythm you hadn’t felt in years.
The windows were open. The breeze cool. Fireflies blinked lazily across the yard.
Bruce had gone out back to check the barn doors, quietly making sure everything was locked and squared away for the night. Lois sat with Dick at the dining table, a worn deck of cards between them as she taught him how to play gin rummy, her voice low and conspiratorial.
You stood at the sink, rinsing out the last pie plate, when Clark appeared beside you, rolling up his sleeves.
“I was wondering when you were going to come help,” you teased.
“I had to wait until the real work was done,” he replied, nudging your hip with his.
You bumped him back.
Together, the two of you worked in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Clark scrubbed. You rinsed. A few crickets chirped. A dog barked in the distance.
“You’re really happy,” Clark said eventually, his voice soft.
You glanced at him. He wasn’t looking at you—just scrubbing gently at a stubborn pie crust.
“I am,” you replied. “It feels... real. It’s good. Hard sometimes. But it’s good.”
He nodded. “I can see that.”
You dried your hands slowly, glancing toward the table where Dick was now dramatically laying down his cards and grinning at Lois like he’d conquered Rome.
“He’s amazing,” you whispered. “He’s so smart. So sweet. And God, Clark, he’s been through so much. And he still smiles like that.”
“You’re good for him.”
“So is Bruce.”
Clark chuckled. “I never thought I’d say that. But yeah. He is.”
You leaned your head against your brother’s shoulder for a moment, letting the comfort of shared history settle around you.
“And that kid loves you.”
You looked to the side, where Dick was showing Lois a card and laughing too loud.
“Yeah,” you said. “I love him too.”
He kissed the top of your head. “You’re doing amazing.”
You leaned into him. “Thanks, Clark.”
Outside, the porch creaked quietly—Bruce returning. You met him at the door, his sleeves rolled to his elbows, moonlight painting silver along his jaw.
“All clear?” you asked.
“Miss Patty stared at me like I owed her something,” he muttered. “Otherwise, yeah.”
You stepped closer and wrapped your arms around his waist. “She thinks you’re competition.”
Bruce kissed the top of your head. “Not anymore. I know better than to cross her.”
You leaned back enough to look up at him. The soft porch light caught the shadows under his eyes.
“You okay?” you asked.
He hesitated. “I thought coming here would help me get . . my mind off the headlines but . . .”
“I know.”
You didn’t need to ask what kind. It was always the same. Headlines with too many adjectives. Panel shows questioning your motives. Online threads tracking the price of your dress from the engagement party you didn’t even know someone photographed.
“I’m used to it,” you whispered.
“You shouldn’t have to be.”
You tilted your face to look up at him, your fingers sliding beneath his sweater, brushing against his shirt.
“I grew up in Smallville,” you said softly. “The mailman knew when I had a crush in fourth grade because I started checking the mailbox three times a day. There isn’t a rumor I haven’t heard. This is just... louder.”
His jaw tightened. “You deserve peace.”
“I have it,” you said. “Right here.”
He looked down at you then, eyes dark in the evening light, and kissed you—soft, slow, like it was the first time. Like he wanted to memorize your mouth. You sank into it, arms curling around his neck, your body finding his like it always did.
When you pulled back, you whispered, “You’re not alone, Bruce.”
“I know,” he said, kissing your forehead. “I still don’t know how I got this lucky.”
You kissed him then. Gentle. Lingering. His hand settled on your waist, anchoring himself to you like he always did when the world tilted too far.
Lois’s voice called from the dining room, “He beat me again! What kind of child prodigy are you raising?!”
Dick laughed. Loud. Carefree. Happy.
And later, when the house finally fell quiet, the dishes done, the windows closed, the fireflies fading, and Bruce locked the last door—Dick found his way into your old room, clutching his pillow and blinking sleepily.
“Can I sleep with you?” he asked.
You were already brushing your teeth in the little bathroom. Bruce nodded without hesitation.
That night, like he did sometimes in Gotham, Dick curled up between you both—tiny limbs sprawled out, the safest place in the world sealed between two steady heartbeats, mouth half-open in sleep. Your hand brushed gently through his dark hair.
Bruce reached over Dick’s shoulder and caught your fingers.
“Goodnight,” you whispered.
“Goodnight,” he murmured, lips brushing your knuckles.
Dick sighed in his sleep and reached for your arm, pulling it around his chest. You fell asleep with your son tucked in your arms, the man you loved at your side, and the world outside silent for once.
And somewhere beyond the quiet, the wind whispered through the wheat fields, soft and low and sweet.
You were home.
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The soft click-clack of your keyboard was the only sound in the office, apart from the muted hum of the coffee machine down the hall. It was late morning, and the light streaming through your windows painted gold streaks across your desk. Your day had started like any other—Bruce in early meetings, Alfred sending an affectionate reminder about your vitamins via text, and Dick at school with his lunchbox packed neatly by your hands.
You were mid-email when your personal phone rang.
Which was strange. No one ever called your personal line during business hours—everyone knew you were Bruce Wayne’s secretary, and your work phone was practically glued to your hip. The personal number was only for family. For emergencies. For home.
Your hand paused over the keyboard as you glanced down, heart already climbing. You didn’t recognize the number, but something inside your chest twisted—tight and immediate.
You answered quickly. “Hello?”
A pause. Then:
“Miss Kent?”
The voice was smooth, professional, and unfamiliar.
“Yes,” you said, already straightening. “Speaking. Who is this?”
“This is Principal Langley from Gotham’s Private Elementary. I’m calling about Richard.”
Your stomach dropped.
You stood up, eyes locking on your office door like you could somehow see through it, as if your sudden anxiety might pull him into the room. “Is he okay?”
“He’s physically fine,” she said gently, and the pause that followed was the kind you’d learned to dread as a Kent—too long, too careful. “But he’s... He won’t stop crying, and we haven’t been able to get him to calm down. We thought it best to call you directly. It might be best if he went home for the day.”
You didn’t ask any more questions.
You just grabbed your coat, pressed the intercom button to inform that you were stepping out, and left. You didn’t bother calling Bruce. He was in the middle of a presentation with WayneTech’s board. He’d find out later. Right now, this was yours to handle.
Wayne Enterprises was exactly twenty-one minutes from Dick’s school if you took the express lane, which you did, and which only shaved it down to fifteen. Still, every second burned. You barely registered the passing streets or the honks or the occasional curious driver doing a double-take at the sight of Bruce Wayne’s secretary barreling through Gotham traffic like her heart was in her throat.
Because it was.
The front office staff was polite—too polite, too composed for what your bones already knew. You could hear it the moment you stepped in. Not the sound itself—Dick was quiet now—but the absence of noise, like every child in the front building had learned silence by association.
When they led you to the principal’s office, you saw him.
Hunched in a chair too big for him, feet not touching the floor, his backpack clutched in his lap like a lifeline. His face was blotchy. Red. Tear tracks down both cheeks. His eyes were glassy and exhausted. He looked up the second you stepped in, and the way he stood nearly knocked the air from your lungs.
“Sweetheart,” you breathed.
He didn’t say anything. Just ran to you.
You crouched to catch him, arms wrapping tight, your whole body curling around his.
“Oh, baby,” you breathed, holding the back of his head. “I’m here. I’m here.”
He didn’t talk. Just sobbed into your shoulder, shaking like he’d been holding it in too long. You rocked him gently, hand stroking down his back, murmuring soft comforts against his hair.
“I’ve got you,” you whispered. “You’re okay now. I’m here.”
It took time. You didn’t rush it.
Eventually, the sobs became sniffles, then long, shaky breaths.
You thanked the principal quietly, took his hand, and led him out. He held your palm like he never wanted to let go.
Outside, on the front steps, you knelt beside him, brushing the damp hair back from his forehead. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He shook his head.
“That’s okay,” you said gently. “You can talk when you’re ready. Or not at all. I’m just glad you called me.”
He nodded, still sniffling. “I didn’t mean to cry so much.”
“You can cry as much as you want, bug. That’s allowed. You don’t have to be brave all the time.”
“I wanted to be good,” he whispered. “I didn’t want you and Bruce to send me back.”
Your heart shattered so quickly it left splinters.
“Oh, Dick,” you breathed, pulling him back into your arms. “We would never. Never, never. You’re ours. You hear me?”
He nodded, pressing his face into your collar.
You took him to work.
There was no way you were leaving him alone, and Bruce—currently locked in a board meeting on the twentieth floor—had made it explicitly clear that your judgment was the final one when it came to Dick.
So, that afternoon, Wayne Enterprises had its first unofficial “Take Your Child to Work” day.
You tucked him into your office, laid a soft throw blanket on the carpet, and gave him your emergency sketchpad—the one you kept in your desk for stress-doodling during long calls.
He flopped down stomach-first, crayons splayed around him, drawing with fierce focus. His face was still swollen. His eyes tired. But he looked calm now. Grounded.
Safe.
You worked quietly, pausing every few minutes to peek at him—still there, still okay. He showed you a picture he drew of Buttons. You promised to hang it on your office wall.
Everything was steady. Everything was soft.
Until the shouting started.
It wasn’t loud, exactly—but the tone pierced through your focus like a knife. You frowned, looked up, and heard it again—a sharp, irritated woman’s voice cutting through the hallway like she owned the floor.
“...I don’t care what Eloise said—he’ll see me!”
You stood, pushed open your office door, and stopped.
Security was gathered in front of the elevators. Eloise, the sweet lower-floor receptionist who adored you, stood awkwardly between two suited guards, trying to reason with someone neither of them could seem to wrangle.
A woman. Tall, stunning, tan, and furious.
You knew her. Of course you did.
Carla Vrenzi.
One of Bruce’s old companions. A supermodel with a temper, a flair for melodrama, and an ego that could crack titanium. You’d taken her call many months ago—her voice shrill and furious through the speaker, hurling curses because Bruce hadn’t called her back. You remembered the way she spat his name. The way she hung up on you.
And now she was here.
Your heart dipped.
She spotted you almost instantly.
“Oh,” she sneered. “You.”
Eloise turned, clearly panicked. “Miss Kent, we were trying to escort her down—”
“Don’t bother,” the woman snapped. “Miss ‘Personal Assistant,’ huh? Is this where Bruce keeps you now? Like a little lapdog? Is that why you spread your legs—because you were tired of faxing his schedules?!”
You stiffened, spine going taut.
Eloise looked horrified. “Ma’am, please—”
“You’re nothing!” Carla screamed. “A secretary! A poor little hayseed pretending she’s a Wayne! I’ve worn shoes more expensive than you!”
“Miss Kent,” Eloise repeated urgently. “Please go back into your office.”
Her face twisted. “You think that ring makes you anything? You’re a novelty act. A toy. Do you know how many of us there’ve been? How many women he’s tossed aside like—”
“Stop it,” you said quietly.
She didn’t. She took a step closer. “You t6think you matter? A farmer’s daughter with a clipboard and good hair? You’ll be gone in a year. Maybe less. You’ll wake up one morning in that big house, and he’ll be gone. And you’ll still be nothing.”
The floor felt like it had dropped from beneath you.
You didn’t cry. You didn’t flinch. But you felt your stomach twist, a cold coil of shame and doubt rising.
And then—
“HEY!”
Dick’s voice cracked like lightning.
He stood in your doorway, small but unshaking, fists clenched at his sides, nose wrinkled in absolute fury.
“Don’t talk to my mom like that!”
The hallway fell dead silent.
Carla turned, startled.
“I don’t care who you are!” he shouted, stepping in front of you with a look on his face that was half fury, half fire. “You don’t talk to her like that!”
The woman blinked. “Excuse me—”
“She’s amazing!” he yelled. “She’s kind and smart and funny and she makes the best waffles ever and Bruce loves her a lot! And I love her!”
“Kid—”
“And you’re mean!” he yelled, cheeks flushing, eyes brimming but not crying. “You’re mean and stupid and nobody wants you here!”
The whole hallway went silent.
You didn’t say a word. Didn’t need to. Because your eight-year-old son had already said everything.
Carla opened her mouth again—but the security guard beside her had had enough. “Ma’am, you need to leave the premises. Now.”
She huffed, sputtered, still fuming. But she turned.
Dick didn’t move until the elevator doors closed behind her.
Silence lingered.
And then Dick turned back to you, his chest rising and falling fast. His mouth opened like he wanted to apologize, perhaps for screaming, but you pulled him into your arms before he could say anything.
Tight. Fierce. Real.
He clung to you like he had at the school—only this time, he wasn’t broken. He was angry. Protective.
Yours.
You buried your face in his hair, tears welling in your eyes. “You called me your mom.”
His arms tightened. “I meant it.”
You swallowed hard. “You’ve never said that before.”
“I didn’t know if I could.”
You pulled back, just enough to look him in the face.
His cheeks were blotchy again. But this time, it wasn’t from sadness. It was from fire. From love.
“You can,” you whispered. “You can call me anything, bug. Anything you want. But that was the nicest you could have called me. Made me the proudest woman on Gotham. On Earth!.”
He smiled through the tears. “I think I liked calling you mom as well.”
You laughed and cried. You kissed his forehead as the hall slowly resumed normalcy, your coworkers sneaking glances, eyes wide and glassy.
But it didn’t matter.
Because in that moment—in that warm, golden, real moment—you were exactly who you wanted to be. Not Bruce’s fiancée. Not the secretary. Not the girl from the farm.
You were Dick Grayson’s mom. And that meant everything.
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dont-read-this-im-dead · 3 months ago
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This won't affect most of you, but it's so very, VERY important to me.
There's an apple orchard in Indiana that is a staple of my childhood. It's been there for a very long time. It's family owned and has wonderful activities for families to do. It's got apples and pumpkins and corn and potatoes and fudge and all sorts of delicious fresh farm foods.
They get a lot of out of state visitors and and the locals frequently send their out of state relatives fresh produce throughout the year. I visited it in second grade as a field trip to pick apples and sell them to the students at school, because my teacher wanted us to learn how bank loans worked. I visited this place with my fiance when we first started dating, my best friend has worked here for 9 years now. It's a beloved place for all the locals and plenty who are not locals, too.
There is a developer that is trying to "progress" the land by developing the land next to the farm. This will damage the farm in many ways. The construction itself can ruin the aesthetics and the quiet peace of the orchard, and prevent people from bringing their small children. The buildings can prevent sunlight and natural water flow. Depending on what they're wanting to build there, it could also stop the whole "family fun vibe" that the farm has always made its mission statement. If this construction is allowed to go through, it could very well kill the orchard and the family business in just a few short years.
I am not against progress or developing land, but I adore this orchard from the bottom of my heart, and I would love to have your help saving it.
If you want to help us save this family farm, please sign the petition! Tell your friends! We want to preserve our childhood for our future children. We want this farm to last forever. We want the jobs to keep. We want keep eating the fresh food.
Please, please, please.
And thank you, from the bottom of my heart. From the bottom of every Hoosier heart. We implore you. Save Tuttles!
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meo-eiru · 6 months ago
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Day 6 of Character Trivia Night!
For tonight we have Micah
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Micah is an only child with a mother and a father
He grew up in a small town and his parents were upper-middle class in town standards
They were very religious and paid a lot of attention to always appearing proper. They wouldn't wear the same outfits two days in a row and made sure their clothes were always perfectly ironed
His dad was quite strict with him, not allowing him to play outside and crease his clothes, and made sure he attended church regularly
Micah was never really interested in playing with the other kids so he didn't particularly care about the rules
Even as a child he was aware he was prettier and smarter than most kids around, he was also very apathetic towards others. He didn't particularly care about them but enjoyed when they praised and looked up to him so kept the good boy act
His one joy was growing flowers, because unlike humans flowers are not annoying. If he takes good care of a flower it'll grow up and bloom like planned, it won't betray his plans. Its life is on his hands, if he decides to cut it it'll die, and if he decides to stop watering it it'll shrivel
His parents weren't very into the idea of him taking care of their garden but after seeing he wasn't giving up and that he actually made it look prettier they gave in
He was later on sent to the capital to further his education, joining the cathedral and quickly becoming a high priest
Even away from his parents he continued to live following their teachings. He would wear clean and well ironed clothes, he usually preferred loose fitting ones that didn't show much skin
He also started growing his hair to the possible displeasure of his father, he enjoyed taking care of it and keeping it clean. He naturally had very thick strands but his hair was still very soft
He also quite enjoying coffee, especially with some light sweets accompanying it. Thanks you that he ended up being quite good at brewing coffee and baking low sugar cakes
He was popular with men and women alike thanks to his angelic appearance and polite personality, receiving letters of affection not only from people inside the cathedral but those who simply came to visit it
Soon enough he was more well known than the actual bishop amongst the common people
He didn't really care about ranking up more and taking on the bishop role, he actually enjoyed the fact that he was better liked even as someone of lower status which made the actual bishop quite furious
He was eventually sent to work at a church in a nearby town by the bishop who did not enjoy seeing him around, not that Micah cared. The town was small but clean and well taken care of, he could just live quietly while being adored by those around
He was greeted with many cheers upon his arrival to the church, his fame traveling ahead of him
He greeted everyone and introduced himself, not caring to pay too much attention to the stuff they told him
Around his third day at the church, as he was passing by the inner garden he heard the sounds of giggling
Two nuns in training, seemingly enjoying a conversation between themselves
Micah could hear what they were talking about but somehow it all felt like blank noise, not registering. The weather was nice, he could feel a warm breeze flowing through his hair. The sunlight was just right, making his skin warm and fuzzy but not to the point of making him sweat. He could hear the chirps of birds mixing with their giggles. Everything was so nice, so nice and so clear, and Micah was just standing there. He was just standing there and looking at the nun he seemingly had never noticed before. Was the sky always so blue and full of life?
It wasn't too hard finding more about you as you were on good terms with most people around. He quickly learned that you were a faithful child of god, that your family was quite poor and that you wanted to become a nun in hopes of earning money to help your family
The day he first approached you was an exciting day for you. He's THE Micah after all, anyone would be excited. He was so nice and so easy to talk to, before you knew it you were crying about your struggles and pains as he gently hugged you
You really liked him, he would always listened to your problems so patiently and offer you solutions. With him you felt so seen
At first it started small, Micah bought you the dress you've been eyeing for so long. Then it started getting bigger, he would sometimes directly give you money, telling you to go buy whatever you need
He was like an angel, truly a good person. You thought he must be a savior sent by god to make your pains go away
And so you trusted him, how could you not? He was such a good person, and everyone knew just how good he was. And you continued trusting him when he called you to his chambers late at nights, you trusted him when he locked the door behind you, you trusted him when he was being just a bit too close for your liking
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Micah didn't care about how many weeds he had to cut off to make one flower bloom the way he wants it to bloom. At the end of the day it's the flower he wanted, and his flower has the prettiest petals when he holds it in his hands
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soeyekonic · 1 month ago
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— ✩♬ ₊˚. back to friends ⭑ D.A
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˚⟡˖⋆ synopsis after months of pretending nothing happened, dani overhears you talking about someone new, and suddenly, the silence between you isn’t so easy to ignore anymore.
disclaimer: daniela avanzini x fem!reader. pt2 of ‘you get me so high’. slight angst… i feel like it isn’t heavy but from what i learned from pt1, my perception might be a bit off 😣
currently playing: back to friends - sombr
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the weeks after the livestream feel like walking through an old house you used to live in.
everything’s still there, her laugh, her hoodie draped over a chair, the late-night snacks she picks at in the green room. but now, there’s something missing.
the warmth that used to live in the silence between you. the comfort of her hand brushing yours when no one was looking. the secret you used to share like a song only you two could hear.
you still talk.
you still work together, still dance, still stand next to each other in interviews.
you still laugh when she says something stupid and roll your eyes when she steals the last fry. and every so often, she slips.
a look that lasts too long.
a text at 2:14 a.m.
a kiss behind a locked bathroom door in a hotel in korea.
you let her. every time, you let her. because you want to believe maybe this time will be different. that she’ll wake up and finally say it out loud.
choose you out loud.
but she never does.
instead, she pulls away before the sun comes up and says, “we should keep this between us,” like that’s love.
you start pulling back. not all at once, but in tiny pieces.
you answer her texts slower, you start sleeping with your door locked, you stop waiting for her to choose you.
and one day, you realize it’s not even anger anymore. it’s grief. grief for the version of her you thought might fight for you.
it’s been three months. enough time to fake some kind of peace.
you’re sitting on the floor of the dance studio with lara, scrolling through photos between run-throughs. she’s got her head on your shoulder, watching your screen.
you swipe past a blurry selfie, sunlight and someone else’s smile tucked into your neck.
“who’s that?” lara grins.
you hesitate for half a beat. “oh, uhm. her name’s mia,” you say finally. “we’ve been seeing each other a little.”
lara blinks. then smiles softly, genuine. “you look happy.”
you do. or maybe you're trying to be.
you don’t look up at her, but someone else hears.
across the studio, daniela freezes mid-step, she wasn’t supposed to be listening. she wasn’t supposed to care.
but she does.
“you’re seeing someone?”
you look up. your stomach sinks. dani’s standing there, arms crossed, trying too hard to sound casual.
lara stands, sensing the tension and quietly backing away.
you nod. “yeah.” dani doesn’t say anything, just stares.
“what’s her name again?” she asks, tone sharp. “mia.” “right.” she scoffs. “that was fast.”
your jaw tightens. “it’s been three months, dani.”
“so what, you’re just over it now?” you blink. a bitter laugh leaves your chest. “over what?” she doesn’t answer. “over you pretending i didn’t exist? or you only wanting me when no one else was watching?” daniela’s face hardens. “you know why it had to be that way.”
“no,” you say, louder now. “i don’t.”
she steps closer, arms falling to her sides. “i had to protect myself. my image. if i say something, if we confirm anything, it turns into a headline, a scandal. not a relationship.”
you shake your head, voice shaking. “you didn’t have to protect yourself. you just had to keep me hidden.” her eyes flash. “that’s not fair-” “you’re right, it’s not.” she swallows hard. “you think i don’t care about you?” you laugh, dry and tired. “you care about the version of me that lives in secret. you care about me in hotel rooms and locked bathrooms and 2 a.m. phone calls. but you don’t care about me when people are watching. you never have.”
“that’s not true.” “then why-” your voice breaks, and you try again, quieter. “why did you let me sit there on that livestream while you called yourself straight? while everyone watched and knew and you still couldn’t even look at me?”
she looks like she might cry. but you’re already past the place where that changes anything. “i was scared,” she says, barely above a whisper. “i didn’t know what would happen if i said it.”
“i know what happened when you didn’t.” your voice cracks. “i sat there like a ghost. like i didn’t matter. like i wasn’t the one you’d been crawling into bed with for months. like none of it was real.”
she’s shaking her head now. “it was real.”
“then why couldn’t you say it?”
“because i’m not you,” she snaps suddenly. “i don’t know how to be that brave.”
and that, that’s what does it. you go still.
you look her dead in the eyes and say, “i wasn’t brave, daniela. i was in love. there’s a difference.”
her breath catches. her lips part and she says nothing.
you stare at her for a long moment, and then, quietly, “i needed someone who wouldn’t hide me.”
you turn, walking away slowly, not out of drama but out of the weight of finally putting something down.
and her voice follows you, cracking in the silence. “is this really it?” you stop at the door.
“you made it ‘it’ the second you cared more about being seen as straight than being seen with me.”
and this time, you don’t wait for her to follow. you don’t want her to.
because loving someone isn’t supposed to feel like disappearing.
and you’re done being invisible.
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a/n: uhhhh ty so much for all the support since i posted “miss possessive” and especially since i posted “you get me so high” i didn’t expect this much attention, i was just writing for funsies 😭😭😭 i will let this marinate a litttttle before posting the alternative pt2
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starkwlkr · 8 months ago
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girl, so confusing | f1
an: might make this two or three parts, not sure yet but oh well <3 love y’all THIS IS AN AU WHERE ALL THE F1 DILFS ARE SINGLE
faceclaim gisele bündchen
part 2 part 3
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liked by maxverstappen1, aussiegrit and others
yourusername 💋
aussiegrit long time no see 👀
yourusername don’t worry, I still have cherry lipgloss that’s waiting for you
aussiegrit 😉
jensonbutton well hello 😏
yourusername hey there stranger
jensonbutton stranger? you’re breaking my heart, baby
sebastianvettel miss you lots!
yourusername come over then
sebastianvettel don’t tempt me
ferraridepressionclub y/n fr has all the dilfs in her comments i wanna be like her when i grow up
paddockgirlies she’s so iconic
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INTERVIEW WITH Y/N L/N | VOGUE
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In conversation with Y/n L/n about being a mother and a racing driver, and her what’s in store for her.
Known for her fierce driving and even fiercer spirit, has seamlessly transitioned into a life that’s as complex as it is rewarding. A name that echoes through the halls of motorsport history, her story is one of reinvention—a journey from high-speed thrills to quiet, profound moments of motherhood, and, possibly, a return to the racing world in an entirely new role.
The 2000s were Y/n’s golden years at Williams. Her raw talent shone even when the team’s fortunes dipped, and she quickly became a fan favorite. Known for her courage, sharp wit, and stunning moves on the track, she formed friendships with some of the sport's brightest stars—Mark Webber, Sebastian Vettel, and Jenson Button. Their bond, a cocktail of camaraderie and unspoken attraction, became as legendary as her driving.
But the glamorous world of F1, with its dazzling lights and high expectations, took a toll. In 2004, Williams made the decision to drop her from their roster—a move that would alter the course of her life forever. Y/n, at the time, found solace in the chaos. Late nights, parties, and the company of friends became her refuge.
"I wasn’t ready to let go of F1, but at that point, I wasn’t sure where I was headed." Y/n said as we chat in her London home. It’s a beautiful house with stained glass windows and the perfect amount of sunlight shining in. Her daughter is also present though she much prefers to continue with her reading as she cuddles up to her mother.
But in the unpredictable world of racing, the story of Y/n was far from over. A fresh start beckoned when McLaren offered her a seat, a move that many saw as her redemption arc. She embraced the opportunity, her focus sharper than ever. The partying ceased. The cigarettes were put out. It wasn’t just a return to the sport—it was a return to herself.
Her career, marked by precision and passion, came to an official close in 2014, but Y/n’s influence has never waned. Retirement, though, didn’t equate to slowing down. Today, Y/n is a mother—something that’s become a cornerstone of her identity.
“I’ve always been independent, but being a mom has redefined what it means to be strong," she says, her eyes softening. "It’s a different kind of challenge, but one I’m grateful for every single day.”
Her daughter, now nine, was born a year after her retirement. She had announced the birth on her social media with a simple caption: “welcome to the world, my beautiful girl”
“As a mom, I’ve learned the art of balancing," Y/n reflects. "There are days when I’m just a mom—no racing, no interviews, no drama. And then there are days when I’m reminded of who I was before all of this. It's about finding peace with both versions of myself.”
At this point, her daughter stops reading her book and places several kisses on her mother’s cheek. It was a beautiful moment between mom and daughter.
“The future is full of possibilities. I’m focused on what’s next, but I'm not in any rush. We’ll see what happens. Right now, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”
Motherhood may have softened some edges, but it has only sharpened her focus. If there’s one thing Y/n has taught us, it’s that the greatest drivers are those who can keep pushing, even when they’re driving toward the unknown.
INTERVIEW WITH Y/N | THE PADDOCK SESSIONS PODCAST
“Welcome everyone to the paddock sessions podcast. I’m your host Dan and todays guest is a very special one. She is my favorite driver and I’m going to try not to freak out right now. Y/n L/n welcome to the paddock sessions!” Dan the host said into his microphone.
Y/n smiled and thanked Dan for the introduction. “Favorite driver? Dan, I’m flattered. I’ll pay you later.” She joked.
“You’re actually the reason my girlfriend watches formula 1. She watched your past races and was devastated when I told her you retired in 2014. I think she was thinking of breaking up with me because I told her,” Dan admitted. Y/n chuckled at his words. “But can we see a potential comeback for you? I know I’m not the only one that would love to see that!”
“Well I can’t really stay away from formula 1. I try to watch the races with my daughter, but she’s not interested in racing at all so I always end up watching them alone.” Y/n explained as she adjusted the microphone.
“Daughter of a racing driver isn’t interested in racing? That’s wild. But at least she knows that her mom is a legend in the sport, yeah?” Dan asked.
“She’s reminded every time we go out and I’m stopped because someone wants an autograph or a picture,” Y/n laughs. “But she knows the basics, she knows what all the number means, she’s a smart girl.”
“Amazing. Um, on the topic of your daughter, and you can stop me if you want, you’ve always been an open book in many ways, yet when it comes to your daughter’s father, you’ve kept things private. How hard has it been to keep things like that private? I imagine it must be frustrating.”
Y/n nodded and cleared her throat. “I’ve always believed in protecting my daughter’s privacy, and for me, that extends to the people closest to us. I’ll say this: my daughter is incredibly lucky to have the most amazing father. He’s the kind of dad who would do anything to keep her safe and happy. I know she’s growing up in a secure and loving environment because of him. He’s protective, but in the best way possible.”
“Have you seen the tweets regarding it?” Dan asked curiously.
“Oh yeah, it’s all over my feed. I’ve actually read some pretty crazy shit about the father of my daughter.” Y/n said.
“Any favorites?”
“There’s a thread that was posted recently on why Lewis is the father of my daughter. I love Lewis, but I can confirm he is not. He’s actually the godfather.”
“Well, you heard it hear first folks!”
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atlabeth · 8 months ago
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unadulterated loathing (pt 2)
pt 1 / pt 3
pairing: fiyero tigelaar x fem reader
summary: you are forced to partner with fiyero on a history project. things don't go as you imagine.
a/n: sprinkling anthony bridgerton references in this because wreck my plans that's my man!! anyways this is actually going to be 3 parts because i have zero self control and ended up writing 15k words in total and im trying to see whether i like posting parts or doing one whole one shot more so there's going to be a third part. but for once in my writer life i have the whole thing written so it will be out in a couple days! have no idea how this fic became this long out of nowhere but i hope you all enjoy lol. stressed reader x calm bf will always be famous on this blog
wc: 4.9k
warning(s): almost cheating? fiyero is still w/ galinda for most of this so the line is very blurred but they dont cross it lmao. the slightest bit of angst but basically all fluff
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“Isn’t this nice?” Fiyero spread his arms out as you took a seat in the grass. Idly, you wondered about getting grass stains out before he started talking again. “Fresh air, actual sunlight, and things to look at other than words on a page.”
“I do go outside,” you said wryly. “You act like I’m some hermit.”
He shrugged. “I only ever see you in class or at the library.”
“I’m just there most of the time,” you said with a slight laugh. “I’m not this smart by slacking off.”
Fiyero said your name with surprise. “Was that a joke?”
You laughed again. “Hardly.”
“I think it was,” he nodded. “You really are learning how to have fun.”
“I know how to have fun!” you exclaimed. “We just have different ideas of fun!”
“And what is your idea of fun?” Fiyero asked pointedly. “Studying? Attending class? Going through the intricacies of various languages?”
“That last one is very fun,” you defended. 
“How did you decide on linguistics anyways?” he asked. “You’re incredibly passionate about something I didn’t even know was a major here.”
“It’s not, technically.” You shrugged. “I’m a history major. I just convinced Doctor Dillamond to let me be his teacher’s assistant so I could include more linguistics lessons in the syllabus.”
“How do you do it?” he asked. “Oz— why do you do it? You’re stressed all the time. Surely taking one less class or not being a TA wouldn’t kill you. All of this seems like it is.” 
“I’m not like you, Fiyero,” you said. “I can’t get kicked out of a hundred schools and still be fine. I’ve got one chance, and if I squander it, then I’ve also squandered my dream. And that’s unacceptable to me.”
“There’s always second chances,” he said. “And third ones, too. Sometimes even fourth.” 
“Maybe for a prince,” you laughed. “But not for somebody like me.” 
“And just who are you?” Fiyero asked as he sat down next to you. “I know you’re Gillikinese and I know you’re probably going to succeed in whatever you attempt. But I still feel like I don’t know anything about who you are without the school uniform.” 
“Why does that matter?” you asked defensively. “We’re project partners, not friends.” 
“Because I’d very much like us to be friends,” he answered simply. 
That might have been the most shocking thing he’d said all day. Fiyero Tigelaar, Winkie prince and self-declared slacker and desired paramour of nearly every Shiz student, said he wanted to be your friend. 
Again, that warmth bloomed inside you. You tried to ignore it—tried to fully banish it. 
“Don’t do this,” you said, looking away from him. 
“Do what?”
“Act like you like me,” you said, stronger this time. “You— you do it with everyone, and that’s fine, but don’t do it with me.” 
“I’m not following,” Fiyero said. 
You glared at him. “I know you aren’t this daft.”
“Apologies,” he said. “I’m just trying to figure out how you figured I don’t genuinely like you.”
You blinked. “Because you’re you. You flirt with everybody so you can dance through life.”
“Of course,” Fiyero agreed. “It just so happens that I genuinely like you in addition.”
Your eyes narrowed. “Why?”
His laugh was nothing but shocked. “Are you asking me why I like you?”
“Well,” you glanced away with a huff, “when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous.” 
“I’ll bite anyways,” Fiyero said. “I like you because you know what you want. You never really stop talking about it, honestly.”
“Are you trying to compliment me?”
“You’re intelligent and driven and you don’t shy away from anything you want,” he continued. “And you thoroughly vex me in near every encounter we have, most joyously.”
“…So you like me because I’m stubborn and confusing,” you said. 
Fiyero sighed. “You‘ve got some serious self esteem issues.”
“I do not!” you exclaimed.
“You’ve tied your worth to your academic achievement,” he said. “You can’t see all the good you’ve already done, how smart you truly are, because you only stress about the next thing you need to do. You’d rather lose your mind over what’s to come than realize all you’ve got in the moment.”
Your mouth opened and closed for a good five seconds, like a fish out of water, before it snapped shut. 
“I thought you were supposed to be brainless,” you settled on. 
“I am,” Fiyero agreed with a chuckle. “But I also know people better than most, and our study sessions have given me ample time to study you.”
Great Oz, why was your face so hot? You felt like you were burning up from the inside out. Fiyero Tigelaar was killing you, and slowly at that. 
“Why are you studying me?” you asked pointedly. 
“Because you’re interesting,” he said. “And very beautiful.”
“Well, I’m— I’m glad we’ve finally reached a truce.” You tried to sound as casual as possible—you couldn’t let Fiyero know the full effect he was beginning to have on you. You didn’t think he would ever shut up about that, and Galinda certainly wouldn’t either. You didn’t want to make an enemy of her. “It’ll make this project much easier.”
“Yes,” Fiyero mused. “I believe it will.”
Amusement, and maybe something warmer, danced in his irises. A very small part of you wanted to let yourself fall, freely and uncaring, just as every other student did. 
You had to lock that part of you away, never to be seen again. You didn’t like Fiyero. He was still a nuisance in every single sense of the word. 
You swallowed, trying to cure your cottonmouth. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice. 
You needed to finish this essay immediately. 
-
You sighed when you heard a knock on your door. Coralie, for how smart she was, had a habit of forgetting her room key—so much so that you’d stopped bothering to lock the door on the days she went to class before you. 
“It’s unlocked, Cora!” you called out. You didn’t want to get up from your desk, not when you were in the middle of writing. You were worried that you would lose the thread of inspiration you’d finally caught the moment you got out of your chair. 
“You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked,” a familiar voice said. “All sorts of miscreants could get in.” 
Your hand slipped in your shock, but you couldn’t even be annoyed about smearing the fresh ink on the page or getting it on your shirt cuffs because you had more important things to worry about. Namely, your surprise visitor. 
“Fiyero?” 
“Present,” he affirmed as he leaned against your doorframe. “You’ve got a nice place here.”
“Thank you,” you said. “What are you doing here?” 
“Much less pink than Galinda’s,” he continued. “I think it’s the only color she owns, honestly. A bit absurd but—” 
“What are you doing here?” you repeated. 
“I should be asking you that question,” Fiyero said, eyes narrowing in on you. “I went to the library and you weren’t there.” 
You cleared your throat. “I was giving you the day off.” 
He frowned and stood up from the doorframe. “Who said I wanted the day off?” 
“You,” you said. “When you didn’t show up to Doctor Dillamond’s class today.” 
Fiyero brushed his hand through the air. “That’s different.” 
You looked at him expectantly. “So you skipped the class this project is for, but you don’t want to skip the actual project.” 
“That sounds about right, yes.” 
“You don’t even do anything whenever we’re together,” you said. “You just stare at me and complain about doing work and ask me about my life and take an hour to write one page of notes.” 
“That also sounds about right,” Fiyero said. “I enjoy your presence. Do you not enjoy mine?” 
If only he knew the way he’d been making you feel for the past week. He could never know that he appeared in your dream last night. 
“...Your presence is fine,” you said. “I just figured I would give you the day off, seeing as we only have one week left until it’s due.” 
“How much have you written already without me?” he asked. 
“Five pages, but that—” 
“You’ve nearly done half of the project without me?” Fiyero interrupted. 
“...Yes?” Why did you actually feel bad about this? 
Fiyero got closer so he could look over your shoulder at your work, and you found yourself holding your breath at his proximity. 
“Do you think you’re doing me a favor?” 
“Clearly,” you said. “The sooner it’s done, the sooner it’s over, and the sooner you don’t have to deal with me anymore.” You shrugged. “You said you wanted to ride my coattails anyways, so I figured I would make it easier for you.” 
“Just a few days ago you were chastising me for not doing my part,” Fiyero said. “Now you’re not even letting me try?” 
“I—” the words stuck in your throat, and again you felt your face heat. 
I don’t want to have to think about any of this more than I have to because I’m worried what I’ll realize. 
I don’t want to give you any more chances to take me off course because I know I’ll say yes. 
I don’t want to be around you longer than I have to because I think I’m starting to like you. 
“Yes?” 
“I am doing you a favor,” you finally decided. “You don’t have to worry about it. Go ride that horse of yours, or bother other students, or spend time with Galinda. You’ve earned it.” 
“Hardly,” Fiyero said. “I’m doing my part, whether you like it or not. We’ll meet at the library tomorrow morning before class like we’ve been doing.” 
“I have class at 8 in the morning tomorrow.” 
“...Then we’ll do it after class,” he reneged. “I do need my beauty sleep.” 
That got a smile out of you, which spurned one from Fiyero in turn. “I think that is one of the only genuine smiles you’ve given me since we started working together.” 
“I smile plenty,” you insisted. 
“At your books,” Fiyero said. “Not at me.” 
“That’s because my books are oh-so-beautiful,” you said. “And they don’t even need beauty sleep.”
He placed his hand on his heart. “You wound me.” 
Your smile grew and you set your pen down. “The library after class?” 
Fiyero nodded and tapped on your desk as he stood up. “Library after class.” 
He was about to go to the door when Coralie poked her head in. “Why is the door— oh! Fiyero!” She straightened up, plastering on a pretty smile as she stepped inside. “What brings you to our corner of Shiz?” 
“Doctor Dillamond’s midterm,” he said. “Your roommate here is trying to save all of the fun for herself.” 
“That sounds like her,” Cora nodded sagely. “You’re very good to try and keep her from that fate.”
Fiyero pressed his hand to his chest. “I consider it my duty. But I apologize for the intrusion—I’ll leave the two of you be.”
“Oh, stay as long as you want,” she spoke up. “I’m sure your partner wouldn’t mind.”
“He’s got things to do,” you interceded. “You’ve got things to do, Fiyero.”
He smiled knowingly. “I certainly do. You lovely ladies have a fine rest of your day.” He looked at you and said your name. “Don’t forget tomorrow.”
“How could I?” you said weakly. 
Fiyero chuckled and bowed his head in lieu of more parting words. The second he left, Cora turned to you with wide eyes. 
“Don’t,” you warned. 
“He came here to talk to you!” she exclaimed. “He found out your room number because he wanted to talk to you!” 
“Be quiet!” you exclaimed. “The door is still open—he can probably hear your screeching!”
Coralie shut the door and squealed. “He likes you!”
“We are project partners,” you enunciated. “Nothing more.” 
“Oh, I’m sure that’s what you think,” she said. “Just like I’m sure that he wants to be more.” 
“You’re acting like he isn’t with Galinda,” you said. “She controls this whole school—do you remember what happened to Elphaba when she didn’t like her?” 
Cora shrugged. “Sure. But I’ve been hearing there’s trouble in paradise.” 
That got you paying attention. “What?” 
“I knew it!” Coralie exclaimed—nearly yelled, honestly. “I knew you liked him!” 
“Be quiet!” you whisper-yelled. “Oz, what is wrong with you?” 
“I knew you liked him!” she repeated. “And he likes you— oh, it is too perfect!” 
“He does not like me,” you insisted, “and you are crazy.” 
“You didn’t say that you didn’t like him,” Coralie sung, and you screwed your eyes shut. 
“Fine!” you finally said. “Fine— I like him. Will you stop now?”
“Of course not,” she said, and you sighed. “How bad do you have it?”
“I don’t have it bad,” you scoffed. “I just— I enjoy spending time with him. And I think he’s kind of cute.” 
“Oh, you are full on head over heels,” she mused. “You just don’t know it. It’s okay.” 
You groaned as you buried your head in your hands. “I hate you.” 
She laughed. “And you like Fiyero.” 
“Shut up.” Your words were muffled, but you meant them all the same. 
You were comically doomed. 
-
The next day went… shockingly smooth. 
Fiyero was in the library when he said he’d be—he was even there before you, much to your surprise and he still had the notebook and pen you’d given him, much to his surprise. He made sure to bring an extra canteen of water for you, because he noticed you never had any with you. You were probably concerningly dehydrated. 
He tried to be a more attentive student to you than he’d ever been at any of his classes—not that that was difficult. You explained your outline and all the work you’d already done, what he could do on the last five pages and how to make his writing voice match yours to make a consistent paper. 
He wrote notes both on what you knew about Ilara Mayfair (a ridiculous amount, in his opinion) and anything else you thought he needed to know (also a ridiculous amount).
He was impressed most of all, though. No wonder you’d isolated yourself from near the entire student body and stressed over every letter in every sentence in every assignment. You were incredibly intelligent, but you were also able to explain everything in a way that even he understood. Fiyero had never really cared about… well, anything relating to school before he ended up partners with you. 
But now, Fiyero found himself surprisingly entranced by it all. He’d always liked your voice, and he had a permanent smile on his lips watching you talk so easily about your passions. It put a spark in your eye and a brightness about you that was usually bogged down by everything else that you stressed about. 
You were beautiful, especially when you were happy. And Fiyero had discovered over the past week that you were happiest when you got to talk about what you cared about to an interested audience. He only regretted acting like he wasn’t interested for so long. 
Finally, when Fiyero called a break on account of his hands aching (he’d never written this much in his life, and it still was only half of what you did basically every day), and you were eating an apple (that he also brought, because you really didn’t take care of yourself when you were doing work, which was always), he smiled at you. 
“You know, we really do make a good team,” Fiyero said. 
You swallowed the bite of apple you had in your mouth and cocked your head as you looked at him. “You think?” 
“I know,” he nodded. “You’ve done the impossible, darling. You’ve actually made me care about school.” 
“Well, I think you’ve done the impossible too.” You lifted the apple up. “You made me care about my health during midterms season.” 
“It certainly wasn’t easy,” he said wryly. “You kind of took it all kicking and screaming.”
You shrugged. “I’m not top of our class for nothing.” 
“Do you have to stress yourself into misery to be top of the class?” he asked. 
“I’m not miserable,” you retorted. 
It was when you said things like that that Fiyero really began to worry about you. It was part of the reason he was so intent on staying by your side through this whole project—no matter how dull he found the material—after the first session. He sometimes saw you around campus, usually carrying a stack of books or talking with your roommate.
After Fiyero was paired with you, he wondered why he didn’t see you more before it all, considering how active you were with literally everything school-wise. Then he realized you were likely always in the library, and the only time he’d visited the library was on Galinda’s tour. You were there, well enough, but you took your leave as soon as things started getting rowdy. 
A shame, he realized. He wondered what your relationship could have been had Galinda not staked her claim on him so soon. 
You weren’t going to take care of yourself, clearly enough, so Fiyero decided—at least for the duration of this project—that he would. It didn’t really matter if you were top of the class if you passed out from stress, exhaustion, annoyance, or a mix of all three. Likely a mix of all three. 
He didn’t really anticipate those feelings morphing into genuine affection. 
“I seem to recall you saying you dream of your future assignments,” Fiyero said, coming out of his thoughts. “That doesn’t sound like the habit of a happy person.”
“Oh, please,” you scoffed. “Everybody has stress dreams.” 
“You know, I really don’t think they do,” Fiyero said. 
You rolled your eyes as you picked your pen up with your free hand and jotted down a few more sentences. “Sure.”
“On that note,” he said, “why don’t we call it a day?”
“We can’t call it a day,” you said. You took another bite from your apple and swallowed, continuing to write all the while without looking at him. “We’re not finished yet.”
“That is the most casually you’ve said that so far,” Fiyero mused. “I really am making progress.”
You laughed, finally paying him mind. “Progress with what?”
“I’ve been tracking your smiles and laughs this whole time,” he said. “See, this essay was your project, but that was mine—trying to make you enjoy your life.”
“This essay is both of our projects, Fiyero,” you said. “Besides, I don’t think Doctor Dillamond will accept your bar graph of all the times I laughed at you making a fool of yourself.” You frowned. “Or would it be a line graph because it’s over time? Or maybe it could be—”
“Alright,” he interrupted. “You’re going into hypotheticals on my joke. That’s clearly the sign that we need to call it a day.”
“…Fine,” you reneged. “But it’s just a break, not calling it a day. And I get to finish proofreading the rest of the essay when we get back.”
“A compromise,” Fiyero said. “Love it.”
You rolled your eyes as you started gathering your things. “You love everything.” 
“Eh,” he tilted his head, and you felt his eyes on you. “Most things.” 
You couldn’t help your smile, much as you tried to bite it back. “Whatever.” 
Soon enough, you and Fiyero were sitting together by the dock. You let your legs dangle over as you watched the scenery around campus—the ripple of the water, the gentle brush of the wind, the chirping birds that flew around without a care.
“Isn’t this nice?” Fiyero asked. He also had his legs over the edge, but he’d laid down against the stone. 
“You don’t have to push your relaxation propaganda so hard anymore,” you said wryly. “I’m here, aren’t I?” 
“And I’m grateful for it,” he said. “Someone that works as hard as you do deserves to relax the same amount.” 
“We’ve gone over this a thousand times—”
“I know,” he interrupted. He turned his head to smile at you. “I just have to hope that some of it sticks.” 
You rolled your eyes, once again unable to hide your smile. “And I have to hope for the same with this paper. Do you think you’ll remember any of this once we turn it in?”
“Oh, but of course. You were the one to teach it to me, after all. I could hardly forget it all.” 
“Good,” you said. “Everyone should know about Ilara Mayfair.” 
Fiyero chuckled, and you once again fell into comfortable silence. 
That was the thing that shocked you the most, you think. Not that you were beginning to like Fiyero, or that you actually liked Fiyero, or that you actually looked forward to spending time with him. It was that you were so comfortable just sitting with him in silence. 
It was very difficult to get to the silence, though. Fiyero couldn’t really stay quiet, and you didn’t know if he liked talking or the sound of his own voice. But you found it didn’t really annoy you like it used to. 
Great Oz. You really were into him. How embarrassing. 
Eventually, when the strain in your wrists and fingers from writing had finally faded, you turned your head to look at Fiyero. “I think it’s time we go back.”
He sighed. “Already?” 
“It’s been fifteen minutes,” you said. “Far longer than the breaks I usually take.” 
He opened his mouth, likely to say something of the same ‘you need to relax’ ilk, but you held up your hand. “Don’t. Just be thankful you got me away for this long.” 
Fiyero smiled, and he pulled himself up off the ground. “I always am.” 
He held his hand out, and you stared at him for a moment. “Why do you always do that?” 
“Help you up?” 
You nodded. “I can do it myself.” 
He shrugged. “I told you it was my project to make your life easier.” 
“You said it was your project to track my happiness,” you said. 
“And they go hand in hand,” he said. “I’m surprised you remember.” 
“It happened thirty minutes ago, Fiyero,” you said wryly. “Besides, I remember everything. It’s a gift.” 
Fiyero laughed, and you finally took his hand. He pulled you up and once again, you tumbled a bit too close—and again, his hand fell to your waist. He had to be doing this on purpose by now. 
“We keep finding ourselves in this position,” Fiyero mused. 
Heat flooded your cheeks like usual. “And whose fault is that?” 
“Well,” he said, tilting his head, “you’re not exactly pulling away.” 
Your mouth opened, trying to think of what words to say when your head was reeling from his mere presence. But then you saw a flash of pink in the background, and your eyes darted away from Fiyero. 
Galinda. She was distracted, talking with Pfannee and Shenshen as she went down the stairs. Oz, how did she slip your mind so easily whenever Fiyero was in your proximity? Why did you let him get this close when he was spoken for? 
You panicked—nothing less. You tore out of Fiyero’s grasp with a bit too much gumption, and then you stumbled, then you slipped, and then you fell. Fiyero called your name in shock, reaching his hand out, but it was too late. You’d plunged into the water before you could save yourself. 
The cold water instantly shocked all your senses, your eyes widening as you gasped out on instinct. Your mouth filled with water and your muscles seized up from the change in temperature—it was so much deeper than you’d imagined, and all your layers of clothing weighing you down were of no use. 
You tried your damnedest to ignore the alarm bells going off in your head as you fought against yourself, finally gathering the sense to swim. You kicked your way up to the top, gasping for air once when you breached the surface. 
You heard Fiyero yell your name again and you blinked rapidly, trying to clear the water from your eyes. When everything finally came into focus, you saw him on his knees, his coat shed and his sleeves rolled up. 
His eyes were wide as he reached his hand out, once again saying your name—this time with a certain desperation. “Are you alright?”
You tried to respond but all you could do was cough, trying to expel the water from your lungs. You took his hand and he helped pull you up onto the dock, where an exhale shuddered out of you.
“I— I am so sorry,” he stammered. It was the first time you’d ever seen him flustered, and you were too busy hacking up a lung to point it out. “Obviously I didn’t think—”
You held up your hand in lieu of saying something, as you didn’t think you could say something. 
This was so stupid, and it was something that never would have happened before you and Fiyero started working together. Your paper was due in two days, you’d only just finished the draft, you still had so much proofreading and rewriting to do, and instead, you were here on the docks soaked to the bone. 
And you found yourself laughing. 
“Oh, Oz,” Fiyero said. “You’ve lost it.” 
You couldn’t refute it, because you kept laughing. You could feel the eyes of your classmates on you, could hear them whispering to each other—likely making fun of you—and it only made you laugh harder. 
“Are—” Fiyero chuckled nervously as he said your name, “are you okay?” 
“I’m soaked,” you got out through your laughs. “And everyone saw me fall into the water. I’m a fool, Fiyero!” 
He was still staring at you in that careful way, as if you were made of glass. “I can’t tell if you’re mad or not.” 
“Oh, Fiyero.” You wiped the trailing water off of your face and wrapped your arms around him. You felt him freeze beneath you for the slightest moment—it had to have been the last thing he expected you to do. “Thank you.” 
“You’re welcome.” Fiyero returned the hug, his movements still unsure. He didn’t seem to care that you were getting him wet, just about your wellbeing. “What— what for, exactly?” 
For a moment, you couldn’t look away. His blue eyes were meant to enrapture, his soft lips typically an invitation sealed with a smirk. But for once, Fiyero looked genuine—he wasn’t putting on a performance, or trying to seduce anyone who looked at him. He was genuinely sorry, genuinely confused. It only made you laugh again.
“What for, indeed.” A higher voice pierced through the air, and you separated from Fiyero immediately. Galinda, to no surprise, had found her way over to the chaos you’d created, her compatriots flanking her on either side. She smiled at you brightly, but her whole demeanor was like a violin string pulled taut. 
“Galinda,” Fiyero said. “Lovely to see you.” He didn’t seem half as shocked as you at her appearance, but his words fell flat. 
“And you as well, dearest.” Her smile turned sickly sweet as she shifted her attention to Fiyero momentarily, taking the opportunity to lace her fingers with his and pull him into a kiss. He pulled away first, but if it affected Galinda, she didn’t let it show when she looked back at you. She batted her eyelashes as she said your name incorrectly. “What was it you were saying?” 
The sudden combination of cottonmouth and sour guilt creeping up your throat didn’t really help your already flustered state. She knew what she was doing—but you did too, didn’t you? 
She was with Fiyero. You knew that. And though Fiyero danced across the line, you took his hand every time he offered. 
“I—” you cleared your throat, attempting a casual smile of your own. “Just that I know why Doctor Dillamond put us together.”
“Excellent,” Fiyero said. “Off-topic, but excellent— are you sure you didn’t hit your head down there?” 
“Perhaps you should go to the nurse,” Galinda said. “I’m sure Shenshen could—” 
“I’ll be fine,” you interrupted, your smile tightening ever so slightly. You looked at Fiyero. “Meet me at the library tonight, and bring coffee. We’re finishing this project tonight. 
“Of course,” he nodded.  
You nodded as well, and you started to go. Galinda’s gaze was sugary sweet poison, and you couldn’t take the weight of it anymore. 
“Wait,��� Fiyero spoke up. 
You stopped against your better judgment, and he let go of Galinda’s hand to take his jacket off. He moved closer to you and wrapped it around you. His touch, light but certain, lingered on your shoulders once he’d finished adjusting it, and his gaze stayed on yours 
“Until you can change,” he said. 
“...Thank you,” you said. 
Galinda cleared her throat extremely loudly, her taut smile back. You remembered yourself and stepped away from Fiyero. 
“I’ll see you tonight,” you said, already starting on your way. You wouldn’t let him stop you again. 
“Tonight,” he agreed, bowing his head in parting. 
You only glanced back once you were by the stairs. When you did, you saw Galinda speaking rapidly to Fiyero—you were too far away to hear anything, but she didn’t look happy. When your gaze drifted to him, you found he was already looking at you. Almost subconsciously, you tugged his jacket tighter around you. When you realized what you were doing, you stopped. You averted your eyes immediately and hurried up the stairs. 
You weren’t out of breath from exertion. 
1K notes · View notes
xoxolaw · 2 months ago
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+ HOW TO WIN A HEART
in which her friends challenged her to make the scariest guy in school fall in love with her — and she said, “easy.”
GEUM SEONG-JE X READER
CH 1 , CH 2 , CH 3
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RULE 1 - MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
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Y/N wasn’t just popular.
She was the kind of girl who made popularity look effortless. She wasn’t top of the class or president of any club. She didn’t need to be.
Y/N had that intangible something—a charisma that couldn’t be taught, only envied. Her walk was lazy but commanding, every hallway her runway.
A resting smirk hinted at mischief, bold eyes daring you to keep looking—and most did.
Boys sat up straighter when she passed. Girls checked their hair, tugged their skirts, though the uniforms were identical.
Teachers? They’d learned it was easier to look the other way. She was too clever to get caught, too charming to scold.She texted in lectures without blinking.
Her Instagram stories were mini-dramas, high-stakes, with dangerously good lighting.
She knew everyone worth knowing—and everyone knew her.
Chaos wrapped in lip gloss.
The kind of girl who’d ruin your life and have you thanking her for it.
The It Girl of Kanghak High.
---
“Y/N-sunbae!” A junior half-jogged up, voice cracking with nerves and too much hope.
She didn’t look up from her banana milk. “Don’t say it.”“Say what?”“That you like me. That I’m different. That you’d treat me right.”
He froze, a deer in headlights. “Wait—how did you…”
She glanced up. Eyes sharp, bored, amused. Then, with the warmth of a mercy kill, she patted his shoulder.“You’re sweet,” she said. “Just not my type.”
Her friends dissolved into giggles behind her.“That’s five this month,” Bora muttered, flipping a page in her imaginary stat book.
“At this point, we should charge entry fees,” Jina snorted. Y/N stretched, feline and unbothered. “Honestly, where’s the challenge? You smile once, and they’re planning the wedding.”
“It’s the way you flirt,” Bora said. “That whole ‘I’ll ruin your life and look good doing it’ vibe.”
Y/N winked. “They should know I bite.”
They laughed, lounging in the lazy hour after the final bell on a Friday. Sunlight slanted through the windows, the halls half-empty but buzzing with leftover energy.
Y/N leaned against the wall, banana milk finished, head tilted back, soaking in the golden calm. Bora leaned in. “Oh, right! Someone left something in your desk.”
Y/N groaned. “If it’s another scented letter, I’m filing for harassment.”
“No, really. Pink envelope. The guy looked nervous.”
Y/N rolled her eyes. “Boys need better immunity. This is tragic.”
Bora grinned. “If you’re so unimpressed, how about a real challenge?”
Y/N perked up. “Go on.”
“Make the next guy who walks around that corner fall for you.”
Jina cackled. “Bora, you’re a menace.”
“Easy,” Y/N said without missing a beat.
But Bora’s smirk vanished.“Wait—no. Never mind—”
Too late. Y/N turned, lips parted in slow curiosity. And there he was.
Geum Seong-je.
The air shifted sideways. Tousled dark hair. Sharp jaw. Expression unreadable—a mix of lazy boredom and quiet threat. One hand in his blazer pocket, the other swinging carelessly.
Two minions trailed him like shadows. The hallway parted like waves, students stepping back by instinct. He didn’t walk. He prowled.
His gaze landed on Y/N, and something flickered—amusement, maybe, or the thrill of something unpredictable.
Bora’s voice cracked in panic. “Y/N—no. Pick someone else. That guy’s not normal—”
But Y/N was already striding forward.Every student in the hall went silent.
Click. Click. Click.
Her heels tapped the tile like punctuation in a rising melody.
She cut across the corridor, ignoring the stares, the whispers, the secondhand fear. She didn’t break pace.
And Seong-je didn’t move. Their eyes locked. A suspended breath—challenge, curiosity, chaos. She stopped inches from him.
Grabbed his collar.
And kissed him.
Not shy.
Not sweet.
A kiss with purpose—bold, deliberate, a spark to ignite a fire. Gasps rippled through the hall. A water bottle hit the floor. Her lips pressed deeper for a heartbeat, her grip tight on his blazer. His scent was sharp and trouble.
She pulled back — just a little breathless — and locked eyes with him.
“You’re cute,” she whispered.
Then turned like nothing happened.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
how's the setting?? 😋😋 This is going to be fun trust me hehehe
568 notes · View notes
ittybittyfanblog · 8 months ago
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Error 404: (Self-Aware!AU, Sylus Edition) – Pt. 6
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Summary: A LADS self-aware!AU featuring Sylus and a (!) player. That’s it, that’s the plot. Tags: player!reader x sylus, fem!reader x sylus, reader x lads, self-aware!au, strong language, you get your very own samantha from her (2013) lol, time skips as a plot device!, this has an arc i promise, if anybody here plays disco elysium you’ll find that i took concepts of “the pale” as inspo at some points in this chapter lmao A/N: Oof this one’s a little longer than any of the previous chapters. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! <3 (and just a heads up, this might be the last chapter I post before I kick it off for the holidays. advance happy holidays! if you guys celebrate that sort of thing.) 
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Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Pt. 3 - Pt. 4 - Pt. 5 - Pt 6 - Pt. 7 - Pt. 8 - Pt. 9 - Pt. 10 - Epilogue
There’s a quiet stillness brought by the morning after that makes the problems of a heavier night seem like a fairly distant memory. 
For at least a few minutes past the moment you blink away the stubborn grit in your eyes – you don’t remember the last time you’ve been this well-rested in ages – you lie, listless, on the soft powder-blue bedding of your twin-size mattress, watching specks of dander and dust drift from the amber sunlight that filters through the cracked panes of the casement window. 
It floats aimlessly, unhurried. Much like you.
The echoes of last night’s events return to you in sporadic flashes—jumbled and fragmented. The whispered exchanges, the playful banter between you and your unlikely conversation partner play back in your mind, like some half-finished supercut. 
And the more you recall, the more awake you feel, chipping away the last traces of daytime lethargy weighing you down. 
“So, what happens now?”
The sound of a car backfiring breaks through from the outside, like a starting pistol signalling the beginning of another day. A familiar, heavy weight presses against your side, and you thread your fingers through the scraggly fur of the purring feline who’s taken the empty space on your left, just above the covers. 
You breathe in deeply, closing your eyes. 
“I wish I had an answer. I’m still trying to figure that out myself.”
You realize how many questions still linger, a lot more left unanswered. Far more than what you were able to glean, at least. From what little you’ve learned, an entirely new moral dilemma emerges—one you never imagined you'd have to contend with. 
There’s a lot of things you’ve never expected to happen. Yet here you are. 
“Seems we’re at an impasse.” 
It’s an odd thing in itself. You keep waiting for the disbelief to catch up, for a shred of sanity to surface and make you reject the situation you’ve found yourself entangled in. You should be feeling the same, pesky feelings that pulled you sharply out of your flight of fancy last night, a sense of trepidation for what lies ahead in this precarious game of two. 
But instead, you’re here. Now fully awake, and already looking forward to the day with wary acceptance. Looking forward to resuming where you’ve left off with that charming anomaly who’s upended your world, and left you suspended in an exhilarating limbo of uncertainty and excitement.
“...Indeed.”
You crave it—like the first stirrings of a neophyte druggie teetering on the edge of an irreversible habit. 
You need another hit. 
“Why the long face, little dove?”
Because if desire could manifest into being, it would’ve been Sylus. 
“We can figure this out together, can’t we?” 
You pick up your phone. 
––––
“You’re here? Make yourself at home.” 
You look at him, deadpan. He looks back at you serenely. 
Your voice takes on a dry monotone when you respond, “Keep talking like that, I’m about to cum.” 
There’s a shocked silence; then—
Sylus barks out a surprised laugh, immediately breaking character. 
You snort. “Good morning to you too, I guess.” 
He meets your gaze with a look of scandalized amusement, his smile wide enough to flash teeth. 
"Good morning, indeed."
––––
You two fall into a natural rhythm even before the day comes to a close. Perceptive as he is, Sylus hasn’t let you linger in the unease left over from last night any longer than necessary; which to say, should be left buried and forgotten, past its provenance. 
“So you could, like– hypothetically, top up my ascension materials… indefinitely?” There’s a manic shine to your eyes when you confront him back at the home screen, gleeful and triumphant after you boost almost all the 5-star cards you have of him up to max level. “Like an infinite glitch?” 
He’s content to just simply listen to your excited chatter from his languid perch on the seat, one palm resting against the side of his face as he watches you, half-lidded and relaxed. Utterly entertained by your antics.
The slight twitching of his mouth, the subtle tilt of his head… each minute shift in his expression makes a whole world of difference from the version you’ve known him longest—almost a lifetime ago. 
Now he acts so human, so alive, that it’s almost unreal. 
(It’s almost imperceptible, but you swear the air also feels different; like the pixelated space around him is bending, stretching, to accommodate this newer him.) 
“Sure,” he shrugs, lips quirking up into a half-smile as he notices the deep crease forming between your brows. 
He knows the question you’re about to ask, curious thing that you are.
“How, though? Like, what are ‘materials’ to you?” You make air quotes with your fingers, making you appear all the more endearing to him look at, in your process to make sense of a world that’s unfamiliar to you.
“Think of it as upgrades,” Sylus explains patiently. “You place the order to modify the equipment I use, in whichever situation calls for it.”
“And Memory Cards?”
“... A video reel, maybe. Or a restricted case file—locked until you’ve got enough to trade for the information you want.”
“And I suppose the dealer in question here is you?”
He arches an eyebrow. “Who else?”
“Huh,” you say, considering. “So, Deepspace Trials. That’s something you do on the daily? Because I… make you?”
“More or less.”
“And you never thought to question that?” 
“Mm, maybe I’ll start charging for my services this time around.”
You roll your eyes, already accepting his analogy for what it is. “Oh, please. With the amount of money I’ve spent on this game, consider yourself paid in full.” 
––––
You were right about your earlier prediction—this new Sylus in combat mode is something else. 
For starters, he’s a lot chattier.
“Ouch, kitten– don’t charge in like that.”
“Why are you using a sword? Don’t you like the guns I’ve given you specifically for this?” 
“What are you waiting for? Make her resonate with me now.” 
And, instead of sticking to his lines and responding to whatever the MC’s programmed to say during battle, he focuses on whatever you’re fussing over—no matter how… moronic it is.
“Ah, fuck! I hate that spinning thing!” 
“Move, then. Let me handle it.” 
“Block it, block it!”
“I would, if you weren’t halfway across the field. Stick closer to your partner next time, yeah?” 
He doesn’t say any of his usual lines. Nothing from his scripted prompts. When all Wanderers are defeated, there’s no post-battle banter between him and the MC. 
“Goddamn, you’re strong!” You whoop giddily, completely energized by straight winning almost twelve Orbit trials in a row. I guess that’s what a fully awakened Solar pair gets you, huh? 
Sylus lets out a chuckle, infected by your enthusiasm. He doesn’t sound the least bit winded, despite all the damned fighting you’ve put him through.
“We make a good team,” he allows. And because he likes the little nose scrunch you do when you’re annoyed— “Although your dodging really needs more practice, sweetie.” 
Before you could think of a comeback, the pop-up window for the next stage comes up. Ass.
––––
Come Monday morning and you’re once again swamped with work. 
You barely have enough time to scrounge something up for lunch—if it weren’t for the persistent reminders from Sylus, chiming in every five minutes once the digital clock on your phone had hit eleven-thirty, you’d probably skip eating altogether.
And make something else than just boiling a pot of instant ramen, sweetheart. You’re on track for an early grave at this rate. 
“I could… add an egg?” You suggest, unsure. “Maybe cut up some tofu, make it gourmet?”  
He doesn’t even dignify the egg suggestion with a response. Tofu’s a good start. Now, what else do you have in your pantry that has nutritional value? 
“I despise that,” you mutter, but start rifling through the cupboards anyway. 
After amassing enough ingredients—or what looks more like a sad pile—that might, with some effort, turn into something healthier than your usual go-to fix, you start Googling recipes online.
‘tofu easy lunch recipe’
‘10 mins tofu recipes’   
‘begginer recipe using tofu frozen dory mixed veg—’ Ping!
… Really, kitten? 
You don’t even have to see him to know he’s giving you that look, the one that’s practically dripping with judgment over your dubious life choices. 
(You know it all too well. Personally, in fact. You see it on some relatives' faces at the family get-togethers you’re always required to attend.) 
Great. Heat creeps up your face as you mumble defensively, “Stop. Not everyone’s a culinary genius, okay?”
After that, he lets you be – something you’re thankful for, really. He’s being too distracting anyway. 
Swallowing down the–stubborn and suffocating–embarrassment that's now stuck in your throat, you keep scrolling through Tasty dot co, praying you can whip up something edible with what (little) you have. You’re fully aware that you’re a grown-ass woman who can’t manage a basic life skill and that you’re probably about to burn down your kitchen—
Another notification pops up.
Pull up your tabs, sweetie. I think you’ll find something there that we could put together easily.
Confused, you do as he says. Sure enough, four tofu-related recipes are neatly grouped together in your Chrome browser, ready to be tried and tested.  
Your eyes widen. “Wait—you did this? How?”
He doesn’t answer your question. He does, however, offer: Want me to coach you through it? Cooking’s more fun done with a partner, I’d say. 
-
-
In the end, you manage to make something that tasted way better than you thought you could do by yourself. You have him to thank for that.
“You happy with it?” Sylus asks, grinning at the satisfied look on your face.
“Mhm!” you hum around a mouthful of food. “Fanks, Sy.”
“Anytime, darling.”
––––
“Do you really have to call me ‘kitten’? You sound like a Discord mod.” 
Sylus has no idea what a Discord mod is, but judging by the contempt in your voice, it’s clear that you’re not giving him a compliment.
"What do you prefer, then? Princess? Poppet? Sweet thing?" He pauses, tilting his head. "Baby?"
You blush and look away. "...Ugh, whatever. Kitten's fine."
––––
Your routine with Sylus settles into a seamless, effortless flow as the days go by; it’s almost second nature, talking to him. So much so that you’d think nothing could faze you anymore.
Well. Almost nothing. 
A message bubble from an unknown number appears on your lock screen: Hi, sweetheart. X
You almost ignore it – brushing it off as some dumb prank from a bored rando – when, not even five seconds later, another text pops up. 
+0063-XXXXXX: Its Sylus.
… Huh? 
“Is someone fucking with me right now, or…” 
+0063-XXXXXX: Nobodys ‘fucking with you,’ kitten. 
Then–
+0063-XXXXXX: Send a reply so I can see how it shows up on my end.
Your jaw drops. “Holy shit– you can text?? How are you doing that?” and, “Did you just cuss...?” 
+0063-XXXXXX: 👍
+0063-XXXXXX: And Ill let you know if you text me the question 🙄
So you do. You tack on a now spill?? at the end for good measure. 
You watch the “typing…” bubble appear, holding your breath.
+0063-XXXXXX: Its a complex mix of technical code and harnessing the energy from a dormant protofield Ive discovered, just south of Vagrants Land.  
+0063-XXXXXX: The energy I got from it felt different somehow from your normal protofield. I figured I could put it to good use. 
+0063-XXXXXX: Oddly enough, theres an… indescribable effect to oneself when youre nearing the centre of disturbance, shall we say. 
+0063-XXXXXX: I can only decrypt the waveforms by the rarefield border surrounding the AoR. Any further and Im afraid the adverse effects may do more harm than good.
+0063-XXXXXX: But if amplified, it seems responsive to the filament of what connects your signal from deep space to this planet.
+0063-XXXXXX: Who knew it could act as a transmitter to send you something as rudimentary as a telegraph? 
… Sometimes you forget how smart Sylus really is. 
You: that’s pretty amazing ?? wtf sylus  
+0063-XXXXXX: I get by OK. 
You could practically feel his smugness radiating from those four words. You scoff, shaking your head in a mix of awe and begrudging admiration.
He sends two more messages. 
+0063-XXXXXX: Im just glad we can communicate through other means, sweetie. 
Sy-Sy (??): Now save my number. Sy Sy will suffice 😉
––––
Since your latest discovery that Sylus can now text (!!), you’ve been talking to him outside the game non-stop. It’s like talking to a very active friend who never leaves you on read, and you couldn’t be more ecstatic. 
You: so no one else in ur universe knows anything abt ur situation?
You: no one else acting funny or sumn ? >.>
Sy-Sy (??): None that I know of, no. I prefer to keep it under wraps. 
Sy-Sy (??): Now that you mention it, Mephisto has been acting quite suspicious lately. 
You: ?? suspicious-suspicious or just reg suspicious??
Sy-Sy (??): Hes with his other crow friends now. They might be attempting a murder. 
You: ………. is that…. supposed 2 be a joke……….
Sy-Sy (??): Im running on 3 hours of sleep, give me a break.   
Sy-Sy (??): Also your textspeak is horrendous, sweetie. 
"Um, hello–?" 
Your gaze snaps back to the—very real, very present—person sitting across from you at the table, sporting box-dyed blue hair and a frown. You're at the Annex House; a sleek, new-age Japandi-style bar downtown, just an easy five stations away from your place. You both decided to try it for their infamous Rotten Apple cocktail and, of course, your weekly catch-up.
Khol, your friend of eight years since college, is currently giving you a mildly annoyed look.
Oops. 
They point at you accusingly while complaining, "Ugh, we don’t use our phones when we’re hanging out! That’s the rule!"
You smile at them, sheepish, pocketing your phone as discreetly as you could. “I know, I know. Sorry.” 
Then, puffing out your cheeks, you meekly ask, “You were talking about Anna...?”
They roll their eyes but go over the gossip a second time, much to your benefit. Phew.
Your phone vibrates. Twice. 
You sneak a quick, final peek.
Sy-Sy (??): Enjoy your night out, darling ❤️ 
Sy-Sy (??): You let me know when youre back home, OK? 
Biting back a grin, you send out one last text in reply. 
You: will do !:9 
Sy-Sy (??): Good girl. 
––––
"Um–so this is my cat, Maru," you say by way of introduction, holding the plump, orange tabby in front of your phone that’s propped up against a carton of Koko Krunch. There’s a slight struggle in lifting his left paw between your fingers to wave at the man on the other side of the screen. "Say hi, Maru."
“Hello, Maru,” Sylus greets amicably in return, watching the both of you with clear amusement in his eyes. “Care to tell me the origin of this proud beast?” 
You recount the story where you’ve first seen Maru five years ago, nothing more than a scraggly little runt at the time, hiding in the gap between a dumpster and the interstice of a cragged wall. You were walking home from a night out drinking with your uni buddies, when you heard the incessant meowing. 
It drew you in like a siren’s call. If the siren in question had the vocal prowess of a warbling whale on the brink of death.
Upon closer inspection, the grimy fluffball revealed a stubby, crooked tail and wide, beady eyes. In your alcohol-fueled haze, you briefly wondered if you were staring at a tiny ginger rat.
“Well, it’s definitely all cat,” your friend Bee declared by noon the following day, calmly retracting a scratched and bloodied hand from the disgruntled feline, which promptly hissed and darted right back under the bed.
You hummed in agreement, passing her a wad of tissue. 
"I couldn’t decide between Nospurratu and Catpin Meow," you say matter-of-factly, giving your capricious son a scritch under his chin. "Bee suggested I stick to something simpler, like Maru. Hence the name."
Your explanation is punctuated by an offended nip on your pointer finger. 
Sylus is covering his mouth, but nods solemnly. “I think Maru is a nice name.” 
There’s a moment where the two seem locked in a silent standoff, neither breaking eye contact nor making any sort of outward reaction. Just as you’re about to step in and interrupt the bizarre staring contest, Maru gives a slow, deliberate blink.
Sylus takes it as a sign of victory—or perhaps a ceremonial seal of approval.
 With a faint smirk on his lips, he offers the cat a small bow in respect.
––––
You’ve practically emptied the entire arcade of plushies – enough to put it out of business if it were actually, you know, real – and you’re bored to tears. 
“Another round of Kitty Cards, perhaps?” Sylus suggests, but a single glance at your face is enough to let him know that you’d rather gnaw off your own hand. Or his. He might just let you.
Sighing dramatically, you complain about the limited playability of the “mini-games” in-game.
“There’s literally nothing else to do. Same old shit, over and over again.” There’s a pout on your face that Sylus wants to nibble on, not that you’re aware of the forming thoughts in his head. “No new banners. I’m stuck between Kitty Cards and the claw machines... I’m bored, Syyyyy,” you whine, stretching the last syllable for effect.  
To be fair, he has tried to make it a bit more challenging for you. He stopped fucking around during Kitty Cards – no more extra two cards in exchange for one of yours, no longer placing different colored kitties deliberately in the wrong cups. 
After six straight losses, your frustration is palpable. The fun is gone.
He makes audible commentaries during each of your six tries at the claw machine. Every time you manage to snag a plushie, he praises you for a job well done (It flusters you, not that he needs to know that). When your luck runs out and you grab onto nothing but air, he wryly points it out through some slight ribbing, but nothing that’s actually hurtful (This flusters you too—again, not that he needs to know any of this).   
There’s nothing else to do. It’s like you’ve exhausted all you could in this small, curated window of his that you’re privy to. If only there’s a way to leave the mini-games behind, to do something new, perhaps outside of what the game has to offer…
Oh, wait. 
“Hey, Sy,” you call the man to attention. “Wanna try something out?” 
-
-
You beat him at Words with Friends by a small margin.
“Ha! That’s thirty-nine points, buddy.” You crow proudly, after putting down Devotees in a straight column.
He eviscerates you at Zynga Poker. 
“... How are you so good at this??” 
“Comes with the package, sweetie,” he says with faux-modesty after revealing (yet another!!) full house, winking like he hasn’t just wiped the floor with you.
By the end of it, both of you are in high spirits—except, maybe, for your bruised ego.
––––
“Say my name, say my name… If no one is around you, say baby I love you…”
“It’s nice to know that we have another thing in common, little dove.”
 
It takes you a moment to process what he’s implying. 
You stop singing, affronted. “Wh—how dare you.” 
––––
“Are you having fun?” Sylus asks, his tone droll as he stands there, hands on his hips and a small scowl on his face. You’re too busy spinning him around, thoroughly entertained by the number of outfits and accessories you’ve forced upon your slightly reluctant model in the photoshoot that's currently taking place.
It’s more amusing, knowing that he’s fully-aware of what’s happening. And that you know he’s aware of what’s happening. 
He’s like your personal, sentient Ken doll; if Ken had ashy grey hair, red eyes, and a mercurial attitude.
“I am, actually,” you shoot back, grinning as you plop a tomato stuffie on top of his head. “Look, you two match!” 
He exhales a long-suffering sigh, shaking his head in mock exasperation.
Not that it stops you. Fluffy bunny ears, a fish headband, an uncharacteristic halo—you’re relentless. “Hey, can you try a different pose?”
“That depends on the pose… and how nicely you ask.”
“Dear Sylus,” you sing, jutting your bottom lip forward and fluttering your eyelashes exaggeratedly, “could you please, pretty please, flip the camera off?”
He snorts but obliges, raising his hand to deliver the most effortlessly cool middle finger you’ve ever seen. “Happy?”
Woah. That’s… hot. “Oh! Uh. Yeah. Yeah, that’s—”
He raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by your reaction. You giggle nervously. “You look… hot.”
“Mm?” His smirk grows, teasing and predatory. “What was that?”
“Nothing!” you blurt out, but the pinking of your cheeks betrays you. He’s definitely enjoying this now.
“I could be convinced to do another one,” he murmurs, voice pitching a little lower.
You bite the inside of your cheek, fighting the urge to say the first thing that comes to mind. Stop, you whore. 
Your nerves get the best of you. Without thinking, you switch to putting the MC back on screen. 
Sylus blinks, red eyes narrowing as he looks at you, perplexed. 
“Uh,” you shift your gaze between her frozen stance and his idle figure. The sudden silence hangs a little heavy in the air. “Would–would you like to do poses? With her?”
He opens his mouth, an automatic response—but he stops, expression flickering into something unreadable. Confusion? Hesitation? 
His brows knit together, and for a short while, he just studies you, the space between you thick with unspoken questions. 
“Do you want me to?” he asks finally, his voice quieter, almost careful.
No–I don’t want you to— To pose with someone who looks so-–
perfectperfectperfect by your side—I only want to see you—
I want to see you––
Why do I care–?
I don’t care––I care, I care so much–– 
“Why not?” you choke out, the forced cheer in your voice grating even to your own ears. You shrug, nonchalant in all the ways you’re not. “I’ll dress her up real nice, and then—” You slap a pink bow onto his head. “You can try to keep up.” 
He doesn’t move, not paying the offending accessory any attention. His gaze is solely locked onto yours. 
I don’t care. I don’t. 
You take the first shot. 
____
“What’s the song you’re playing?”
You pause mid-mop, cocking your head to the side in slight surprise. 
“Uhh– Pedestal,” you answer unsurely. “By Portishead. You like it?” 
He hums, eyes glinting with interest. “I do. Play the rest.” 
And just like that, you’re introducing Sylus to modern twenty-first century music—and to Spotify.
____
From that point on, Sylus begins using your Spotify account to discover a whole new world of music—quite literally, in his case. Sometimes he steals the control from you, overriding what you’re currently listening to, just to hear the most random track play from your speakers.
In the middle of a mundane afternoon while you're completely locked in at work—hyperpop synths blaring in your ears—you’re suddenly jolted by the sound of heavy mandolins as an honest-to-god Russian military march blasts through your headphones, shattering your focus like a damn rhino in a china shop. 
And so with the level of patience that could put the Virgin Mary to shame, you painstakingly explain to your friend the courtesy of not stealing the proverbial AUX cord from the “driver,” especially when it’s their turn on the radio. 
The two of you reach a compromise, and thus the birth of your “shared” playlist. Sylus reluctantly agrees to explore on his own time—when you’re not using the app. Like when you’re busy with other things. Or when you're asleep. 
-
-
-
You wake up to the first strings of a Muse song. One of your favorites, in fact. 
Sy-Sy (??): Good morning, sweetie. 
Sy-Sy (??): Last night was enlightening. I have you to thank for that.
Sy-Sy (??): Oh, and I hope you could indulge me. I added some songs to our playlist. I think youll like them. We both seem to have a thing for alt-rock.
Sy-Sy (??): Give me time and Im sure Ill acquire a taste for electronic music too. Be patient. 
You huff out a laugh, lazily rolling over as you check your shared playlist. Sure enough, there’s twelve new songs on it.   
You: awe that’s great sy :)) and these songz r rly good !! u got sum of my faves here
You: based on what u like maybe u can try looking up sum david bowie, probz massive attack idk 
You: i’ll add stuff later for u to listen 2!!! <2
You: <3* 
Sy-Sy (??): Alright, sweetheart. Im looking forward to it. 
Sy-Sy (??): ♥️
____
From the outside, the studio is just another unit among endless rows of dull grey—small and unassuming. Tucked away on the sixth floor of a nondescript building, it’s built as unremarkable as the rest.
Through a window stained with a mix of corrosive ochre and burnt sienna, there’s a quiet hum; the presence of something that wasn’t there a week ago. Life has shifted, ever so subtly, from an oppressive achroma to a much warmer vibrancy.  
There’s a faint hint of movement. Inside, the young woman wears an almost-permanent smile, her phone an extension of her hand as she taps away with no semblance of rhyme nor rhythm—only in a continuous staccato. Her eyes are locked on the screen, as if drawn by an invisible force.
It’s elusive; this connection. Something beyond. Supranatural. It weaves through the room like whispered secrets shared in the dead of the night, beneath a city blanketed in deep ultramarine. Soft, like a wind brushing through a still everglade. 
The apartment, once steeped in a self-inflicted solitude – one that went by unnoticed for a long period of time – comes alive as an intangible presence fills its nooks and crannies with the steady warmth of companionship. There’s a gentle heat to the space now, like the glow of an invisible hearth. 
The flickering of the string lights, the muted laughter shared with a voice through the tinny speakers of a handheld device, a slight signal interference… all feel like the genesis of an impossible story.
Outside, the evening sky is fading into twilight.
And as one looks out onto the street below from the sixth floor window, it’s almost as if the world outside doesn’t quite matter anymore. 
Inside, the air is full of life, in ways it has never been. 
____
“Come to me, just in a dream
Come on and rescue me
Yes, I know I can be wrong
And maybe you’re too headstrong
Our love is––”
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Tagging: @xxfaithlynxx @beewilko @browneyedgirl22 @yournextdoorhousewitch @sunsethw4 @stxrrielle @mangooes @hrts4hanniehae @buggs-1 @michiluvddr @ssetsuka @i2sannie @imm0rtalbutterfly @the-golden-jhope @slyfoxtsu @beomluvrr @milkandstarlight @bookfreakk @ally-the-artistic-turtle @tinyweebsstuff @sapphic-daze @sarahthemage @cchiiwinkle @madam8 @slownoise @raendarkfaerie @sylusdarling @luminaaaz @greeenbeean
(if..... for some damn reason..... the tags still don't work i rly don't know what i'm doing wrong T_T i'm posting this from a macbook is that it, is the ghost of steve jobs fucking with me rn)
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staryuee · 1 year ago
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GIVING THEM A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET
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꒰warnings꒱ not proofread…:3
⠀꒲ ` synopsis . . . how would your significant other react when you give them a friendship bracelet made by your own kind hands?
⠀꒲ ` characters . . . diluc, kazuha, kokomi, scaramouche, heizou, itto, cyno, lyney, lynette, freminet, furina, neuvillette, navia, ga ming, chiori, arlecchino
⠀꒲ ` notes . . . this reminded of primary school days of making randomly coloured loom band bracelets…sniffles, the good ol’ days of giving your crush bundled up daisies that had bugs on them from the schools yard and then immediately running away (i am a lesbian i had no such experience in just talking for the sake of poetry ☆〜(ゝ。∂)
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R. DILUC — 迪卢克
“what’s this, my love?” he cautiously surveyed the tiny strings and charms with a shocked yet rather satisfied expression. so this is what you were so focused on for the last couple hours…? he can’t help but feel slightly relieved that instead of wasting away at work you were merely crafting a cutely childish gift for him.
“it’s a friendship bracelet! look, i even managed to find these cute strawberry charms for you.” you laughed and start fiddling with the short strands near his scalp, fiddling with them and folding them over to create a stem-like shape.
diluc softly exhaled in amusement, wrapping the small piece of jewellery around his already bedazzled wrist. it takes him a real good second to actually realise what you just said. awkwardly coughing into his hand, diluc catches your attention, “darling, you do realise we’re married?”
a smile possesses your face as you hook your arm with his. “of course i do! i just thought it’d be cute, you know?” he smiled in response.
diluc is no stranger to friendship bracelets. after all, him and kaeya used to make those for each other all the time. sometimes that young triplet consisting of a very dedicated jean, a shy kaeya and a mischievous diluc (sometimes a cutsey barbara who tried to eat the beads) would gather together to create and exchange such bracelets.
a tradition that diluc might’ve let go of but had never forgotten. when you go to sleep at night diluc immediately places your bracelet into a drawer where he kept all of the ones from his childhood.
K. KAZUHA — 枫原万叶
“is this a friendship bracelet? that’s very considerate of you, my love.” kazuha tilts your chin to press a feather-light kiss onto your lips, his touch so tender it was like being touched by sunlight itself. “but i thought we were passed our journey of friendship?” his hand travel down to your hips. squeezing them intently to bring you close to his flowery scent.
“or do i need to remind you that we’re lovers?” taking your hand in his, kazuha leaned his head down to press his lips against your knuckles, eyes peeking through his bangs as if to entice you. and, well, of course it did. kazuha knew just a simple glance at you paired with an affectionate grin was enough to lure you into loving his arms.
kazuha didn’t expect for a piece of handmade jewellery consisting of maple leaf charms with red string to become so sentimental to him, but it was only a matter of time till the bracelet helped become an engraved memory of you. he’d kiss it each time you were apart, hold it up against moonlight while stargazing, trying to illustrate your figure within a constellation.
wandering became more exciting. he’d get to slowly part from your lips, while still having a perpetual reminder of the love you shared with a few pieces of strings tied to his wrist alone.
kazuha, though content with this, always secretly craved to hear the sound of your voice as you called his name and reached out to him. however, within his life he’s learned one thing that has truly stood out; it’s the small things in life that mirror true beauty.
S. KOKOMI — 珊瑚宫心海
“your excellency? what is that on your wrist?” gorou tilted his head curiously, his ears twitching in tandem.
“hm? oh, this?” she shakes the coral coloured bracelet, making the beads and fish charms jingle excitedly as if they were jumping within sea waves. “haha, [name] gave it to me. it’s a friendship bracelet!” kokomi shows it off with pride, a flutter of flapping fins hit her ribcage in the form of her beating heart at the prospect of people seeing the deepness of your ocean-depth bond with just a few beads on a string.
burnout is utterly debilitating. as kokomi spends only a few minutes in her recluse corner within watatsumi, even the shimmering of pearls and the quiet sound of the shore isn’t enough to bring her fragmented energy to rest. nesting her head upon the bundled arms that laid carefully on her desk, she attempted to snooze. finding that she can just barely flutter her curled eyelashes close before an unbearable ache pinches her eyebrows into a knot.
feeling defeated, kokomi sits back up and taps her fingers absentmindedly on the wood, finding just a tiny bit of solace in the sound of clicking and clacking. wait…she quickly glanced at her wrist, noticing she completely forgot to take off her bracelet when preforming her duties. despite her fatigue, kokomi can’t help but exhale a smile. calloused fingers tweezing the bubbly fish charms in an attempt for stimuli that wasn’t so agonising.
she’s so glad she has you, even if that memory of you is withheld in something children share for an intended promise of foreverness.
SCARAMOUCHE — 斯卡拉姆齐
“are you twelve?“ scaramouche raises his eyebrows at you with a sneer, a look of either disgust or confusion on his face. “if i didn’t know any better, i’d say you were mocking me.”
“you’re short but not kid short!” you retorted to appease him, rolling your eyes at his annoying theatrics. did he really have to be so bitchy all the time? i guess when people say that short people tend to be the most angry because all that wrath is bottled into such a teeny body it’s very true…
the friendship bracelets (yes you made two!) were a representation of his journey from the malicious “balladeer” to the slightly less malicious and more so bittersweet wanderer. a contradicting colour palette yet his frosty and asshole attitude remained the same no matter what hue of the rainbow he was dipped in (should’ve been named skittle not scaramouche).
“if you don’t like it that much you don’t have to wear it, it’s not like i’m forcing you.” a pang of disappointed squeezed your chest heavily. it would’ve been fine if he just threw it away after a week or so. you would’ve been extremely hurt yes, but it’s better than having your own lover reject a handmade gift without even a thought for your feelings.
seeing your frown lines and the way your eyebrows scrunched together, scaramouche sighed and immediately snatched the bracelets back. quickly covering them over his wrist and crossing his arms over his chest defiantly. “i never said i wouldn’t wear it, stop being whiny.”
the slight embarrassment he felt was worth every stroke of blush on his cheeks if it meant he could see you smile brightly at something so childish.
S. HEIZOU — 鹿野院平藏
“it’s not our anniversary.” heizou stated simply.
“nope.”
“neither of our birthdays.”
“nope.”
“not a special achievement either.”
“nope.”
“alright, love, spill. what’s the occasion, hm? just in the mood to spoil me with your affections?” heizou threw his hands up in defeat. not being able to use his detective experience into deciphering why you decided to be so cute today and bless his otherwise uneventful day.
carefully, you wrapped the bracelet around his eager wrist. “no occasion~ just felt like giving you a friendship bracelet to show my love for you.” he raises an eyebrow. leaning to your eye level, heizou procures a look of confused distaste at your seemingly innocent admission. “friendship?” he looks away dejected, placing his hands on his hips. “and here i thought i was your very cool and sweet boyfriend.”
brushing away his dramatics and looping your arms around his neck to pull his pouty face in closer, you retaliate. “oh hush, you’re still my lovely dramatic boyfriend.” heizou smirked and leaned in impossibly close, his breath tickling your soft skin generously.
“then, could you show your love for me in another way too?” begrudgingly, you caved. moulding your lips with his while his hands gradually situated themselves on your hips. a chuckle escapes his occupied mouth, leaving a tingling feeling down your spine as you pull away, a bright smirk on his face. “thanks for the bracelet, baby~ i’ll be sure to wear it as my lucky charm during investigations!”
A. ITTO — 荒泷一斗
“well of course you’d want to bless the almighty arataki itto with such a gift! i humbly accept your offering~” itto sways a thumbs up, tongue rolling across his pointy teeth in an extravagant display of confident hubris. all in vain, of course. no amount of bravado could dull the charming blush on his cheeks; the way his grin hoisted into a genuine smile of gratitude or the way his eyes glistened with a familiar light; childlike wonder.
itto was never and has never been accustomed to such small things in life. honestly, he was lucky for a stranger to not throw insults, physical objects, hits, kicks, spit, and the like for his mere existence. a friendship bracelet was an event that was so far out of reach for the oni that the only thing he wanted to do right now was to kiss you stupid.
but, he couldn’t. he stood still, twiddling with the beads that nested against his wrist with a haze that was absentminded you felt like tapping him would cause a bubble to burst above his head for water to splash him awake.
the word “friend” doesn’t even register into his brain. he’s too content with the knowledge that your bond meant something to you. that he meant something to you.
you’ve never seen itto so quiet before. he’s usually this giant (literally) ball of energy that bounces around the place and shares an infectious attitude of confidence and joy with no restraint even to the most stoic, but right now, it was like he was that small vulnerable child again given a chance at redemption for simply living.
CYNO — 赛诺
cyno tilts his head to the side as he stares with pinched brows at the weaved threads of purple and yellow beads and charms that you held in front of you with a delicate hand. “what’s the bracelet for?”
“it’s a friendship bracelet!” taking the initiative, you wrap the bracelet around his relatively small wrist and watch in awe as it seems to match his palette perfectly. perhaps not his personality, but maybe if he wore this around regularly people wouldn’t be so frightened by his frozen features.
cyno went quiet for a moment, a look of confusion on his face. a look that made you shrink in shame. did he not like it? was something wrong with it? is it too childish for someone with such an esteemed status? all such baseless thoughts get immediately dispelled once cyno’s lips curl into a subtle grin, his eyes narrowing devilishly.
you’ve often seen this look when he’s about to score a rewarding win in a tcg tournament. but, he also had this look when…fuck. you sigh in defeat and simply let him say it. “why did the friendship bracelet break up with its partner?”
“…ha. why?”
“because it felt tied down.”
you know how in animes when someone says something very fucking stupid, it’s like the world echoes with silence to allow the person to truly feel the embarrassment from their words? you hoped that’s what cyno felt when you blank stared him with a thin line for your lips, hands clenching and unclenching as you fought the urge to squeeze his cheeks together.
“do you get it?” he asks, but before he can ramble about the absolutely articulate construction of his pun, you spring into action and press your lips passionately on his. of course, he replies eagerly. enjoying the clicking of the beads hitting together as his hand made it’s swift, instinctive movement to your waist.
LYNEY — 林尼
“mon ange…is this for me?” lyney smiles gently at you, sneaking the red bracelet onto his wrist. unable to take his away from the fine craftsmanship and the adorable details of hats, doves and some card charms. knowing you thought of him so directly and so in depth made his heart flutter the same way a dove’s wings expand after being liberated from a cooped cage.
“of course it is, it’s a friendship bracelet!” you clasp your hands behind your back, awaiting either his praise or his teasing — whatever he was in the mood for more. despite the happiness that surged through his heart like a bad game of throw the dart, believe me you shot him hard in the feels, lyney frowns.
“but, mon chéri…” he sighs in despair, a theatric hand over the very heart you had gripped tightly in your hand with a mere few beads of coloured wax. “i haven’t gotten a gift for you, i feel rather ashamed of myself.”
“don’t worry about that, this is just meant to be my good luck charm for you during your shows and…” your voice trailed off to him. not because he was uninterested but because he loved the buzzing sound of your melodic syllables each time your lips opened.
“ah, my dear,” lyney paused your affectionate rambles politely, “you’ve got something here…” you tilt your head to the side quizzically and await for him to point at it or take it out. he grins wildly. “well, isn’t that cute?” lyney chuckles softly and while leaning suuuper close to your ear, ‘magically’ pulls out a rainbow rose from seemingly no where.
“it seems we’re even now, hm?” he gestures, handing the rose over with a wink, leaving a cheeky kiss to your jawline in gratitude.
LYNETTE — 琳妮特
knowing lynette’s character and demeanour intricately, you’re aware that grand gestures aren’t at all her thing. she can barely handle a tea time conversation with someone if she’s forced to play an active role.
the bracelet sat enclosed within your palm as you rambled on about your day to lynette, feeling an unshakable amount of anxiety vomiting into your gut for no reason but overthinking. you’ve been avoiding giving her this bracelet for a week now in fear she’ll find very little value or use in something so minimal.
“you have something you want to give me.” a phrase intended as a question, but said more so as a statement.
“i…uh, how did you know?” you laugh and play with the strings of the bracelet cautiously as to not break it.
“your eyebrows are furrowed and you keep glancing away from me.” she analyses you like a real robot…i guess she’s really committed to that bit. either that or she just loves you too much that being unable to read your expressions would be a grievous sin on her part.
with a sigh of defeat, you slide over the bracelet to her with an awkward smile paling your usually joyous lips. “i made a friendship bracelet for you…thought it’d be cute.” lynette doesn’t understand people around her a majority of the time. truly, she doesn’t even want to, it’s not like she needs to either since she has her brother to leech on and others to fool with her robotic party trick and yet, she can’t help but wonder why it is you choose to defend yourself over something so sweet.
“thank you, it’s cute. i’ll wear it for my next show if i’m able to.” her lips curve upward in what to most would seem like a twenty degree uplift, but to you, it meant quite literally everything.
FREMINET — 菲米尼
nothing. no amount of experiences with his interactions with people could’ve prepared him for the absolute heart attack that was this gesture.
he loved it, too much. he wishes he could just dip back into the ocean depths. indulge in a meaningless conversation with the tidalga, or even express his feelings of adoration to you to pers. but currently, it was only you two sharing a humble moment together. no person he could lean in, no space he could rush the words he’d love to say to you in gratitude for the gift.
and you knew that. and that’s what he also loved about you. how willing you were to accept and love him even with him being less socially adept than a coral reef. feeling the cool and vibrant coloured bracelet tilt around his wrist and knot in place, he smiled wobbly.
between the silence, you knew that the quiet smile and nod meant more than his stammered and hushed words could ever express. leaning in to press a kiss to the side of his wrist and cheek, freminet manages to gulp a bit of courage and swallow his static and tingly anxiety, reaching to kiss your forehead. letting his lips linger momentarily before he backed away. “thank you…”
FURINA — 芙宁娜
heartbeat pounding in her ears. eyes narrowing into puffy circles. her bottom lip bitten brutally by her gnashing teeth. hands shaky, making her teacup tremble within her grip. why were you glaring at her so intensely?!
first the invitation for a tea party with only you two as the special guests. second the ominous letter claiming you two “need to talk.” and now, you were completely quiet and calmly snacking, drinking away several blends of tea without a word! it was absolutely ridiculous to think the one person she has entrusted her still mending heart with is ignoring all the clear signs of hesitance and vulnerabilities within the relationship despite them all being initiated by them!
“so, furina.” you clasp your hands together, an impish look transforming your usually peaceful face. her heartbeat stammers as her eyes meet yours in a tender glance. “uhm..yeah?” furina attempts to appear more courageous than she is, but truly, she’s shitting it (for lack of a better term).
the silence stretched on for too long before you giggled and pulled up a blue and white toned bracelet from your sleeves, shaking it with your fingertips with a kind smile. “i made you a friendship bracelet!”
a ghost wavered out of her frightened soul, the tea in her hand put down at this point so she can savour the comforting feeling of her head in her hands. being a gorgeous, shining star in the spotlight of fontaine’s grand stage, furina isn’t a secondhand stranger to gifts. whether they’ve been given to her personally, awkwardly, silently, with no words signed or a creepy letter attached expressing their reverence.
she wishes you’d sometimes go that route instead of matching her in these theatrics! begrudgingly, despite the little flutter in her heart, she slipped the bracelet onto her wrist and looked at you with a pout that you couldn’t help but lean in to kiss.
NEUVILLETTE — 那维莱特
neuvillette hums a tune along to the orchestra of the vinyl. an accompanying sound of his pen hastily itching onto the paper adding to the rhythm. his door opens and while he’d normally remain quietly focused on his piling paperwork, he recognised this particular patter of footsteps coming towards him. you.
smiling habitually and peering his head up, neuvillette greeted you lovingly. “hello, my love. what brings you here today? did you get in trouble?” he knew the reason you’d come ushering into his office was hardly with the intention of getting him to aid you with your troublesome quarrels, but rather, you just wanting his love and affection that he was more than willing to fulfil. if time allowed, of course.
“no, no. nothing like that, yet…” you grinned and neuvillette looked at you with a playful look of disappointment at the hesitance. “i made you a gift!” with a prideful aura that was less arrogance and more pure joy, you presented the bracelet to him. he wasted no time in stirring the small bundle of fabric and beads with his gloves. “look,” you pointed eagerly, “i even managed to commission some furina and melusine charms! you know how we always joke about them being like our children? i thought i’d be a cute addition!”
he exhaled a satisfactory laugh in agreement, interlocking your hand in his to press a kiss to your knuckles in thanks. “cute, indeed. thank you, mon chéri. you’re too sweet sometimes.” you sit on the edge of his desk, watching excitedly as he places the bracelet onto his wrist. “as a gift in return, after i’m done with work, how about we take a nice stroll together? i assure you, no rain will interrupt our serenity so long as you’re by my side.”
NAVIA — 娜维娅
immediately gushes at you as your palm opens to present the gold and blue hued bracelet to her, adorned with rose charms that you personally painted in gold and a greyish blue to accentuate her outfit if she decides to wear it. it was less a decision and more a necessity.
she delicately handled the bracelet onto her wrist and kissed both of your cheeks in gratitude, “thank you so much, sweetheart! this is so cute…but what’s the occasion? it’s not our anniversary or anything like that.” navia smiled at you, playing with some of the little roses and twirling them around in appreciation.
“it’s a friendship bracelet!”
her lips pucker into a pout as she starts to coddle you within her arms, occasionally swinging you around gently. “you’re so absolutely adorable!” she nips at your earlobe, kissing it as a form of apology. “but honey, you do know we aren’t just friends right?” navia captures your cheeks within her palms. “we’re lovers!” she presses several kisses across your face, ending her affectionate spillage with a press of her lips on yours.
“oops— haha, sorry i got lipstick all over you, darling.” navia chuckled and began wiping away all the lipstick smudges from your pretty face. yet her attempts bore no fruit. instead of wiping away anything, she only made it oh so much worse. “ah well, guess we both got presents from one another today?” she snickers, twirling her wrist to show off the bracelet with a wink.
GA MING — 嘉明
if you thought this man’s eyes couldn’t get any brighter, then you’re absolutely dead wrong. if you thought he could jump high while lion dancing, you’re also absolutely dead wrong!
he could outrun god right now. if you asked him to defeat a hoard of lined up mondstadt and liyue treasure hoarders, he’d do it in a heartbeat. what possessed you to be so cute?! do you seriously think he can take another heart attack like this after the one he had during lantern rite?
you aren’t able to say much or even explain your reasons for as to why you decided to make this nor what it even is or represents before ga ming smacks his lips messily all over your face. a mixture of your own gloss from kissing you earlier and his own saliva stick to your skin sloppily and you can’t help but feel both enamoured and grossly repulsed at the mixture of sticky wetness on your cheeks as well as the love that seemed to glow like fireworks.
“mmuah~! i love you so much…are you trying to make me cry?” he pouts, becoming a giggling mess as soon as you roll your eyes at his dramatics.
he keeps the bracelet on every day. sometimes he’ll be pouty all day if he’s unable to wear it in fear of it snapping and wasting away all your precious hard work due to either his negligence or the pains of manual labour…he’ll have to cope with simply glancing at the red imprints the beads had left intended onto his skin for satisfaction.
CHIORI — 千织
“what is this?” she jingles the vivid and strong orange coloured bracelet in front of her face, appreciating the tiny details of the cute sewing equipment charms and what looked to be handmade porcelain bows embedded onto some beads.
“it’s a friendship bracelet!” you gleam at her, pride evident in your face at your creation. she hums in agreement; it was certainly something alright.
“oh. cute.” that’s all the genuine feedback she could give you without mentioning how tacky it would look with her attire — it was an affectionate gesture, one which she didn’t want to undermine and therefore, with little complaint despite her own personal conflicts, she slipped the bracelet onto her wrist, extending her hand out and twirling it to admire the craftsmanship.
you won’t see her actively wearing it out in every day life, perhaps you’ll manage to sneak a glimpse of her playing with the beads while she’s going over some designs in her sketchbook but otherwise, her gloved hands contain nothing but the smell of perfume.
not that she’d admit it outright until you asked, but the real reason she refuses to wear your bracelet daily is for a simple reason; she doesn’t want it to break in order to have that constant reminder of you as she goes to bed and stares up at her ceiling with the bracelet being coddled between her fingertips.
ARLECCHINO — 阿蕾奇诺
“you’re so childish.” she muses, tracing her nails across the beads, eliciting a weird clacking sound as the charms and beads hit against each other. “but i suppose that’s also an alluring aspect to you.” she ushers the bracelet onto her wrist. despite it being completely covered, there was something even more intimate about her gift being a part of a hidden identity for her; your affection only intended for your gorgeous eyes and her narrowed ones.
tilting your head to her eye-level, you can smell her musky perfume. she leaned in for a kiss. her lips tasting like flavoured gloss consisting of all sorts of red berries, an accurate mirror to the rosey colour of her bright lips. a sneaky hand traced circles around your hips and waist as she attempted to take your breath away. a scythe is a befitting weapon for a woman who’s kiss was practically a notion for death.
she’s used to her children offering gifts and trinkets to her. rocks, random jewellery they crafted with glue, messy crayon drawings, sometimes even in the most macabre scenarios, blood itself. each of those, however, she cherished wholeheartedly. the same way she’d cherish the bond between you two that she’d never allow for anyone to break.
so long as she continuously receives silly gestures like this, she’s convinced she’ll be able to hold you within her embrace with very little effort.
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©STARYUEE do not copy, steal or repost ♡ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪʜᴇᴀʀᴛɢᴀɴʏᴜ
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byhuenii · 2 months ago
Text
From the Start
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Pairing Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Synopsis They were best friends. She loved him quietly — from the start. But timing was never on her side. Now, between unspoken words, missed chances, and a love that lingers too long, she learns what it means to let go without ever truly doing so. Inspired by “From the Start” by Laufey — a slow, aching love story about almosts, always, and everything in between.
Word Count 4.8K
Themes + Warnings Unrequited love / yearning, Hurt no comfort, angst and longing, missed timings, Emotional Distress / hints of depression (not romanticized) , Quiet suffrage, Self-isolation, Bittersweet loyalty, tender, melancholic, bucky barnes.
— From the Start “If only you knew… I’ve loved you quietly, endlessly, from the start.”
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It started with coffee.
You always made his the way he liked it — strong, a little sugar, no cream. Some mornings, he’d wake up from dreams he didn’t remember, soaked in sweat and shaking, and you’d be there in the kitchen already, waiting. You never said anything. You didn’t have to.
That’s how your love began — in the quiet moments. Brushing his hand with yours when you passed him a mug. Laying a blanket over him when he fell asleep on the couch. Listening. Always listening.
The light in the compound's kitchen was low — early morning blue, the kind that makes everything feel a little quieter. Bucky sat at the table, one hand wrapped around a chipped mug, his eyes soft with sleep, his hair half-tied back and falling into his face.
You knew that look. Dream-sick. Still caught in the web of the night. He didn’t talk much after the nightmares, not until the second cup of coffee kicked in.
So you sat down beside him, shoulder brushing his, and passed him a warm piece of toast, buttered just the way he liked it.
“Thanks,” he mumbled. “You always know.”
You gave a soft smile. Of course I do. You knew his tells. The way his jaw ticked when he was anxious. The pause before he said "I'm fine" and meant the opposite. You knew him better than anyone.
And somewhere along the way — between patching him up after missions and watching movies on the couch with his head on your shoulder — you’d started falling. Quietly. Without permission. Like slipping under water.
He’d rest his head on your shoulder during late movie nights, eyes half-lidded, breath steady against your collarbone. And you — stupid, hopeless you — would close your eyes and pretend, just for a second, that it meant something more.
You told yourself it was fine. You were fine. That being near him, even if he didn’t love you back, was enough.
But it was never really enough.
But Bucky never saw it. Or maybe he did — and just didn’t want it.
It happens on a slow evening, sunlight honey-thick through the compound windows, painting his face gold.
He sits on the kitchen counter like he always does, elbows on knees, talking to you with that crooked half-smile. But you’re barely breathing.
He’s telling you about someone. Someone new.
“Hey,” he said, almost sheepish, running a hand through his hair.
You looked up from your book. “You’re in a good mood.”
“So… I met someone.”
You looked up too fast, too hopeful, thinking for half a second — maybe —
But he didn’t look at you. His eyes were on the wall. Someone new.
“Oh,” you said, trying not to sound like you’d been gut-punched. “That’s… that’s great, Buck.”
He launched into it then — how she made him laugh, how easy it felt. You listened, nodding, smiling where you should. But all you heard was a roaring in your ears.
“She’s so perfect, you’d love her,” he says, laughing softly.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this comfortable around anyone. She’s funny — smart. We stayed up talking until 3 a.m.”
You nod. Smile where you’re supposed to. Make a sound that’s supposed to pass for happy.
But inside? You’re cracking.
“She’s… kind. Makes me laugh.” He smiled again, almost bashful. “Told me I should take her to that bookstore downtown. You know, the one you like.” The one YOU liked.
You tried to smile.Tried to nod. But your heart felt like it had caved in on itself.
“Oh. That’s nice.”
That’s mine. That’s our spot. That’s… me.
He didn’t notice the way your hands trembled. Didn’t notice how you stopped breathing for a second. Or maybe he did — and just didn’t want to see it.
That night, you couldn’t sleep.
You lay in your room, staring at the ceiling. The quiet was unbearable. You could still hear him laughing about her. Could still see the way his eyes lit up. And all you could think was: It should have been me.
“Listening to you harp on ‘bout some new soulmate — ‘She’s so perfect,’ blah blah blah…”
That lyric echoes like a broken record as you lie awake in your bed that night, staring at the ceiling like it holds answers. Your heart aches like it’s been wrung out.
You try to drown it out. But his voice — the way he said her name — is louder than the silence.
You remember how his eyes lit up. How easily he smiled. How he used to smile at you like that.
“She’s so perfect.”
You swallow hard. And the jealousy? It’s poison in your veins.
Not because she’s done anything wrong. But because you love him. And he doesn’t know. And worse — you don’t think he wants to know.
You wanted to scream. Instead, you whispered into the dark:
“I’ve loved you from the start, Bucky. God, I wish you knew.”
The next few days are unbearable.
You stopped showing up to the gym in the mornings.
Stopped sitting next to him at movie nights.
You took every mission they offered, even the miserable ones — hours in the cold, sleeping on floors, bruises blooming across your ribs.
You dodge him in the hallway. Skip breakfast. Stay in your room or train until your muscles scream — anything to avoid the sight of him grinning at his phone or humming under his breath like a man in love.
Anything to keep you moving. Numb.
You barely sleep. You barely are.
And still, the song plays in your head — like your own personal curse.
“Don’t you notice how I get quiet when there’s no one else around…”
You want to scream.
The pain hit hardest in the quiet hours. When the compound was still, and you sat on your bed staring at nothing, trying not to cry.
You want to ask him how can you not see it? How can you talk about her like that in front of me — like we weren’t something, like I haven’t held your hand through every breakdown, every sleepless night?
But you don’t.
You say nothing. Because saying something would ruin everything.
And so you rot in silence.
You’d see her name pop up on his phone. Hear him laugh through the walls.
And god — the jealousy. The burn of it. Ugly and sharp.
You hated yourself for it. Hated that you were mad at her — at him — for something you never even told him. Something you buried deep, like a secret you didn’t deserve to say aloud.
But you weren’t sleeping. Your eyes were always red-rimmed. And one night, Wanda passed you in the hallway and gently touched your arm.
“You look so tired,” she said softly.
You just nodded, eyes glassy, throat too raw to speak.
You stare at your reflection one morning and don’t recognize the person looking back: Baggy eyes. Pale skin. Glassy, defeated stare. You’ve been crying — you always cry now. Quietly. At night. Into your pillow.
He texts you. Again. Bucky: You okay? Haven’t seen you around lately.
You put your phone face down. You can’t lie to him again. But you can’t tell the truth either.
“God, I wish I could confess I loved you from the start…”
You find yourself sitting in the common room alone.
It’s the same couch he used to nap on. The same one where he would rest his head on your lap and mutter that your presence made the nightmares go away. You’d run your fingers through his hair and pretend you weren’t falling in love.
Stupid. Stupid you.
Because he was never falling with you. He was falling for someone else.
You close your eyes and whisper the lyrics into your hand like a prayer:
“Confessed I loved you, From the start.”
You used to sit beside Bucky during movie nights.
His arm would rest behind you on the couch — never quite around you, but close enough to pretend. You knew his laugh by heart, the way it started in his chest and pulled his shoulders forward. You memorized the sound. You loved it.
But now? You sit near Wanda. Head on her shoulder. A different couch, a different row. The distance is a wall. You smile — just enough to seem okay. But it’s tired. Fragile.
Your new spot is farther from him. He notices. He doesn’t say anything.
Neither do you.
Because what do you say to the man you’ve loved in silence for years?
“Please sit closer to me again, even if you don’t love me?” “Please don’t tell me how beautiful she is — I already know. I’ve imagined being her every night since you met.”
You just keep quiet. You always do.
“Don’t you notice how I get quiet when there’s no one else around?”
It wasn’t just what he said. It was how he said it.
You’d just finished a mission, still half-sweaty and bloodstained. You were pulling your boots off when he walked into the locker room, smiling in that way you hadn’t seen in years — like sunlight came with him.
“She texted again,” he said. “Told me she was nervous to meet the team. I told her she’d love you guys.”
You froze, mid-lace.
He kept going.
“God, she’s sweet. She sent me this picture of her cat in a Captain America hoodie—like, full-on cosplay. It was adorable.”
You smiled like it didn’t hurt.
But that night in your room, her name was on loop in your head. Not her fault. Not really. But you hated how it sounded coming out of his mouth.
You were sitting in the rec room, legs curled beneath you on the corner of the couch. Bucky walked in, looking happier than you’d seen in weeks. Hair tousled, a small coffee in hand, that boyish smirk tugging at his mouth.
“I had the best night,” he said. “We went to that vintage bookstore off 4th. She made fun of me for dog-earing pages. Then we spent hours in the philosophy aisle. Like actual hours.”
He paused, a little breathless with how sweet the memory was.
“She’s something else.”
You laughed, soft and short. Like something small had snapped inside you.
“That when I talk to you, oh, Cupid walks right through. . .”
You nodded. Pretended to be reading your tablet. Pretended not to notice the way his voice got gentler when he said her name.
“Sounds like she’s perfect,” you said, voice even.
“She really is.”
“‘And shoots an arrow right through my  heart…”
You smiled as if it didn’t pierce you. As if you hadn’t once spent hours in that exact bookstore with him, joking about Freud and arguing over which Austen character he’d be.
He didn’t remember. Or maybe he did. Just not like you did.
You went to your room that night and sat on the edge of your bed, arms wrapped tight around yourself, that lyric playing on loop in your head. You felt like you were watching the person you loved fall for someone else — from the front row, clapping with the rest of the crowd.
And that’s when you knew:
You were losing him. And he had no idea.
It started slow.
You said yes to fewer things. Movie nights. Game nights. The random 2 a.m. rooftop stargazing that used to be a staple — all of it, you started skipping.
No dramatic exit. No excuse.
Just silence.
And at first, the team assumed you were busy. Missions, maybe. Personal stuff.
But then you started taking every solo op.
You started volunteering for recon, double shifts, cold assignments in places where you could disappear without anyone asking why.
And the thing is — you were still good. Sharp. On time. Effective.
But you weren’t… you.
Clint notices first.
Not because you said anything — you don’t. But because you’re quieter than usual. You laugh, but it doesn’t stick. You go through the motions like you’re clocking in for a shift you didn’t want.
One night after dinner, he catches you washing your dish — alone — long after everyone’s gone.
“You alright, kid?” he asks.
You smile. “Fine.”
And that’s how he knows you’re not.
You’re using that voice. The one where you stretch your words to keep them from shaking. He doesn’t press. Not that night. But he makes sure there’s always a seat next to him at meals.
Just in case you ever want to stop pretending.
You stop showing up for things.
You miss three breakfasts. A debrief. Poker night. No one calls you out, not directly.
But Sam texts you a meme. “Missing you at game night.” Wanda brings you a coffee one morning and just sits beside you, not saying a word.
You tell them you’re tired. Overworked. But the truth is you’re grieving.
And grief doesn’t always come from death. Sometimes it comes from almosts. From being so close to being loved and then watching someone else get chosen instead.
You start waking up with tear tracks on your cheeks. You can’t even remember crying in your sleep.
“What’s a girl to do? Lying in my bed, staring into the blue. . .”
Your eyes stay glassy. Red-rimmed. But you smile when spoken to. Laugh when it’s expected. You wear heartbreak like foundation.
And Bucky? He texts sometimes. Bucky: You okay? Bucky: You’ve been distant. Did I do something?
You don’t answer.
You don’t have the words for how much he did.
“Unrequited, Terrifying.”
Some nights, when the silence was too loud and your heart was too heavy, you’d climb into Wanda’s bed and lie on your side — back to her, eyes open in the dark.
“She chose me,” you whispered once. “To meet. To fall for. To laugh with.”
Wanda didn’t respond right away. Just wrapped her arms around you from behind and let you breathe.
“She’s perfect,” you added, voice cracking. “And I’m—”
“You’re everything,” Wanda whispered into your shoulder. “He just couldn’t see it.”
You didn’t cry.
But your body shook.
Sam sees it in your fists.
The way you hit the punching bag like it owes you money. You don’t stop. Don’t pause. Don’t breathe right. You’re trying to beat something out of yourself — and failing.
“Take a break,” he says gently, tossing you a water bottle.
You nod, breath ragged. “One more set.”
But when he walks away, he doesn’t really leave. He leans on the doorframe and watches — helpless. You’re disappearing into yourself. One punch at a time.
Later, he tells Bucky: “She’s burning out, man. I don’t know why, but I know it’s about you.”
Bucky looks confused. And Sam wants to shake him.
You skipped the team lunch. again. Didn’t go to poker night. Wanda told you Sam noticed — “You okay?” he texted. You said “Just tired.” But Wanda knew better.
You weren’t just tired. You were unraveling.
The world moved without you. Missions, briefings, late-night drinks.
The next time you did show up — Movie night. You almost didn’t come. You never miss it, but lately, being in the same room as him is like pressing down on a bruise just to make sure it still hurts.
The lights are dim. The team is settling in. Someone saved your usual seat beside Bucky.
You walk past it.
Settle instead next to Wanda. She gives you a quiet look as you place your head gently on her shoulder.
You don’t say a word.
Across the room, you can feel his eyes on you. Like he doesn’t understand what changed.
And how do you tell him? How do you say:
“You must be blind if you can’t see…” “…you’ll never know how much you mean.”
You catch his gaze once — just once. And it’s enough to undo you.
He looks concerned. Confused. Hurt, maybe. But not the kind of hurt you feel.
Your smile falters. Wanda shifts slightly and squeezes your hand.
And you think: This is what it means to love quietly. To sit two feet away from the person who makes your heart ache and know you’ll never be enough.
Bruce doesn’t pry.
But he notices how your cortisol levels spike whenever Bucky walks into a room. He sees your biometric data from shared missions — the subtle signs of insomnia, elevated stress.
He runs diagnostics under the guise of “team wellness.” You thank him with a smile, but don’t meet his eyes.
You’ve always been emotionally intelligent. But lately, you seem distant from even yourself.
He writes it in your file: Subject exhibits signs of chronic emotional suppression.
Then deletes it.
Because this isn’t clinical. This is heartbreak. And science can’t fix that.
Nat watches you lie like a professional.
“Everything okay?”
You: “Yeah, totally.”
She doesn’t even blink.
She starts leaving coffee on your desk. Silent support. She doesn’t ask questions, because she knows if she did, you’d crumble.
But one night, she finds you sitting on the floor of the gym, staring at nothing.
“You’re grieving someone who’s still alive,” she says.
And you don’t say a word.
You just rest your head against her leg. And for a while, she lets you be small.
Later, she found Wanda and told her quietly, “She’s grieving something she won’t say out loud.”
Steve watched the space next to Bucky stay empty for the fifth team gathering in a row.
Bucky kept glancing at the door. Kept half-turning every time footsteps echoed.
But you never came.
And if you did — you sat near Wanda. Always Wanda. Curled into her shoulder with a tired smile. Laughing softly, but never loudly. Never like before.
“Have I done something to her?” Bucky asked Steve one night.
Steve knows why.
He sees the empty chair. The way you only show up late and leave early. The way your laughter used to echo through the compound and now barely registers.
“You ask her if she’s okay?” Steve says one night.
Bucky hesitates. “She says she’s just tired.”
Steve doesn’t say it, but he thinks it:
Tired of pretending you didn’t break her.
Steve hesitated. Then said: “Maybe not directly. But something’s changed. And you haven’t asked the right questions.”
Thor doesn’t understand at first. Your sorrow is quiet — too human. But one afternoon, he finds you alone on the balcony during a team BBQ, staring at the sky like it might have answers.
He approaches gently.
“Do you mourn, lady Y/N?”
You smile, brittle. “It’s complicated.”
He nods. “The fiercest battles are fought in the heart.”
He hands you a mug of something warm and honeyed.
“You are seen,” he says. “Even when you wish to vanish.”
You almost cry. But instead, you sip. And for a moment, it’s enough.
You hadn’t planned to go. You hated heels, hated faking a smile, hated pretending not to watch Bucky from the other side of the room.
But Wanda convinced you. “You’ll regret it if you don’t,” she said gently.
You arrived late. In black. Subtle. Safe.
The lights shimmered like champagne, and the air was full of polite laughter and perfume. You made your way through the crowd, heart tucked behind ribs like a secret, until you saw him.
Bucky. And her.
He looked different. Softened. Not as tired. Like he was finally breathing.
She was lovely. Naturally. Graceful. The kind of beautiful that doesn’t know it’s beautiful.
She smiled at you. Warm. “You must be Y/N — Bucky told me so much about you.”
Your stomach twisted. “All lies, I hope.”
She laughed. Genuinely. God, you couldn’t even hate her.
She laughs. She’s sweet. Kind. Confident without being cruel.
And it kills you with envy.
Just envy.
Because she’s not a villain.
She’s just her. And you’re not.
You watched the way she touched his arm, the way he leaned toward her instinctively. The way he looked at her like she was it.
And still, you smiled. Because you’re a girls’ girl. Because if your best friend is happy, you’re happy.
That’s the lie you tell yourself as your throat tightens and your drink starts to taste like metal.
“I miss the way you looked at me when we were seventeen…”
Wanda stays by your side the whole night. She doesn’t ask questions. She just knows.
You drink slowly. Smile carefully. And bleed quietly.
They saw everything.
Tony, watching the way your smile dropped when Bucky walked into a room with her.
Bruce, noticing how your hands trembled slightly when handling sensitive tech — how you blamed “caffeine,” but he knew better.
Steve, seeing the way your laugh faltered the second Bucky turned to someone else.
Clint, finding a forgotten hoodie of Bucky’s folded in your room, and quietly leaving it where you wouldn’t find it again.
They weren’t blind.
They just didn’t know how to help.
Because how do you comfort someone whose heartbreak is invisible to the person causing it?
You find yourself outside later — rooftop, heels in hand, cold air slicing through the open back of your dress.
You kick off your heels and wrap your arms around yourself.
You don’t hear him at first.
“You always disappear when things get loud,” Bucky says behind you.
You turn slowly. He’s watching you like you’re a puzzle he can’t solve.
He doesn’t say anything for a minute. Just leans beside you against the railing, both of you staring into the dark.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he says, voice low.
You don’t thank him. You just nod. The silence settles like dust.
You hum softly. “So does she.”
He glances at you. “She likes you, you know.”
“She should,” you say, smiling without humor. “I like her too.”
“I’ve missed you,” he adds.
“Have you?” you ask, not cruel — just tired.
He looks at you then. Really looks.
He studies you. “You okay?”
“I didn’t know things got so far between us.”
You want to scream. No. I am not okay. I have loved you every day for years, and now I have to stand still while you build forever with someone else.
“You were busy,” you say. “With her.”
He exhales, steps closer. “She’s great. But she’s not—”
“Don’t,” you whisper, looking away.
“I mean it.”
“Please, Bucky,” your voice cracks. “Don’t give me pieces now.”
The wind bites your skin. The city lights blur.
“I loved you,” you say, “from the start.”
His face crumples — just slightly.
And maybe it’s real. Maybe he means it when he whispers:
“So did I.”
“Confess I loved you from the start…”
But he doesn’t reach for you. He doesn’t kiss you. He just stays.
Too close. Too far.
He watched you the whole night.
Not in a creepy way — not even deliberately. But his eyes find you like they always used to. Like muscle memory.
Except now, you're distant. You're with Wanda. You’re across the room in your navy dress, holding champagne and laughing softly.
Not loud like you used to. Not free like before.
You look… tired. Lovely, but dimmed.
And when your eyes catch his, you smile.
Not the one he knows. Not the one that used to light up your whole face. This one is polite. Like he’s a stranger at a party and not someone who once lived in every beat of your heart.
He feels something then. Not jealousy. Not guilt.
Just an emptiness. A strange, cold hollowness like someone removed a piece of the puzzle and left the gap permanently open.
They watch you move like a ghost of yourself.
Polite. Soft-spoken. Present but not fully there.
Clint squeezes your shoulder once as you pass. Sam brings you a drink, says nothing. Wanda watches you like she might cry. Peter’s fidgeting — he wants to hug you but doesn’t know if he’s allowed. Steve avoids your gaze like it’s sacred and he’s not worthy. Nat rests her head briefly against yours before slipping away again. Even Thor watches you with a furrowed brow, eyes sad.
You, the girl who once lit the room on fire just by being in it — Now you barely make a spark.
Peter is young, but not blind.
He used to joke with you. Now, you don’t smile the same.
He doesn’t know what’s wrong, but he brings you little things: a cookie from the bakery, a drawing of Spider-Man you might find funny.
One day, he quietly says, “I don’t know what happened, but... I hope whoever hurt you knows what they lost.”
You blink fast.
He hugs you around the waist, mutters, “I miss your happy.”
And you do too.
Tony doesn’t ask.
He monitors.
Security footage. Training logs. Mission reports. He tracks the change — the late nights, the solo ops, the silence.
“Someone break your heart?” he asks one day, pretending it’s a joke.
You blink. Say nothing.
“Figures,” he mutters. Then he sends you a custom playlist called 'Heartbreak but Make it Badass’ and upgrades your suit with extra impact resistance.
“Just in case the next time you want to punch something harder than yourself.”
He never says more.
But the suit fits perfectly.
 Bucky finds you. Alone. again..
He doesn’t know what he wants to say. Maybe he doesn’t want to say anything.
“I didn’t know,” he offers. It's hollow. Empty. Pointless.
You nod. “I know you didn’t.”
“I wasn’t trying to—”
“—you didn’t do anything wrong.” Your voice is so gentle it cuts him. “You were just… being loved. That’s not a crime.”
There’s a silence.
Then you smile — soft, tired.
“I’m happy for you.”
It’s a lie. A beautiful, brutal lie.
And the worst part is — he believes it.
You still show up. You still fight. You still help.
But you don’t laugh like you used to. You sit near Wanda now — head on her shoulder, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix.
You avoid the spaces Bucky lingers in too long. You take more solo ops. You tell Peter, “I’m just busy these days,” when he asks why you’re not around.
But the truth is: You're still in love with someone who chose someone else.
And even if your heart isn’t bleeding anymore, the bruise never really faded.
Sometimes he remembers little things: The way you used to laugh at his dumb jokes. The way your eyes always found his in a crowd. The way your smile would bloom when he walked into a room.
And now?
Now you barely look at him.
And something inside him tightens. Not regret. Not longing. Just a quiet ache for a version of something he’ll never fully understand.
“If only I could tell you that I loved you from the start…”
The lyric replays in his head like a song stuck in the wrong key. He doesn’t know why it fits — only that it does.
A week later, he texts you a photo of a coffee mug you once broke in his kitchen, now glued together and full of daisies.
Bucky: Found this in storage. Couldn’t throw it out.
You don’t know what to say. So you don’t respond.
Instead, you sit in silence, heart aching in your hands. Because you could’ve been everything. Could’ve been her. Could’ve been his.
But you weren’t.
You never were.
You look at yourself again.
Navy hoodie this time. Dark circles under your eyes. A smile pulled tight with the thread of holding it together.
You still love him.
But love doesn’t mean staying.
Love, sometimes, means letting go. Quietly. With grace. While every part of you is screaming.
You loved him from the start. But maybe he wasn’t meant to be the end.
You step away from the mirror. You walk into the next day. You breathe. You smile at her. You smile at him.
And then you go find your spot beside Wanda again — safe and sad and real.
You see her again later.
She’s sitting in the compound kitchen, eating blueberries from a mug. She sees you and lights up.
“I was just telling Bucky he needs to stop trying to cook for me. You weren’t kidding — he really can’t boil eggs.”
You laugh. It comes easier now. But it’s still a hollow sound.
You like her. You really do.
And that’s the worst part.
You envy her laugh, the way he looks at her, the quiet rhythm they’ve fallen into.
But you never let it twist into bitterness. You don’t want to be cruel. You’re not that kind of girl.
If Bucky’s happy… you’re happy.
That’s what you tell yourself.
Even if it’s not true.
You walk away from the kitchen, smile fading as soon as you’re out of view. And under your breath, you hum the same quiet melody that’s lived in your chest for months:
“If only I could tell you that I loved you from the start…”
And the worst part? You did.
"And if he’s happy… I’m happy."
(That’s a lie. But it’s one you’ve learned to live with.)
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(You've got mail) Sorry, yeah. I was listening to this song while making this and honestly. yeahhhhh. to me it feels so real and vulnerable, its just something i get. i wanted to do a happier ending but the ending to this song is not happy at all, and realistically would you of gotten with someone who was like that to you? i wouldn't personally but that's just why i relate deeply to this. and just the many times i have been lead on. its the quiet suffrage, the i don't want to bother my friends. its human.
Tag List (For Mr. James Buchanan Barnes is open!)
@herejustforbuckybarnes @bbsbrina @barnesandbouquets
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coriihanniee · 1 month ago
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ARE YOU GONNA MARRY, KISS OR KILL ME? ˚₊‧꒰ა ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
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۶ৎ ALTERNATIVE : boynextdoor as high school tropes
۶ৎ PAIRING : boynextdoor x f!reader ۶ৎ GENRE(S) : highschool au, fluff, comfort, mutual pining, grumpy x sunshine in Taesan's~ ۶ৎ WARNING(S) : academic burnout in Sungho's, mentions of overworking in Sungho's and Jaehyun's, mild illness in Taesan's ۶ৎ WORD COUNT : 1.0k - 1.3k words / member
۶ৎ A/N : got inspo after seeing a certain tweet on X,,, and I just miss Boynextdoor... (っ- ‸ - ς)
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SUNGHO ⋆⑅˚₊
˖➴ PAIRING : class president!sungho x burnout academic!reader
Park Sungho has always had that quiet kind of magnetism, the kind that comes from genuinely caring. You’ve watched him from across classrooms and crowded hallways for months now. The way he remembers people’s names without effort, asks about their sick grandparents like it matters (because it does to him), and somehow makes even the most reserved students feel heard during class discussions. 
He's untouchable in the way that good people often are, golden and warm like late afternoon sunlight streaming through classroom windows, which is why you can't quite believe he's sitting across from you in your carefully chosen corner of the library, two cups of coffee steaming between you.
"You know the library closes in an hour, right?" His voice is soft and hesitant, as if he's unsure of his welcome here in your sanctuary of solitude.
You glance up from your chemistry notes, blinking away the blur of exhaustion that's become your constant companion. The numbers and formulas swim on the page like they're underwater. "I know what time it is."
"When's the last time you went home before 8 PM?" 
The question settles between you with uncomfortable weight. You honestly can't remember. Home has become nothing more than a place to collapse for a few hours before the cycle begins again, classes, college prep courses, extracurriculars that look good on applications but drain your soul. The pursuit of perfection that everyone expects from you, that you've learned to expect from yourself.
Sungho pushes one of the coffees towards you, his fingers brushing the table near yours. "Vanilla latte. Extra shot, no whip. I noticed you always get that one from the machine by the gym."
The fact that he's noticed, that he's paid attention to something so mundane about you, sends an unexpected flutter through your chest. Park Sungho notices everything about everyone, it's what makes him such a natural leader, so beloved by teachers and students alike. But you never thought his careful attention would extend to you, the girl who sits in the back and keeps her head down.
"Don't you have student council stuff to do?" you ask, wrapping your hands around the warm cup. The vanilla scent is comforting, familiar. "Important presidential duties?"
A soft laugh escapes him, and you're struck by how different he seems here in the quiet library light. Less polished, more human. "Meeting ended an hour ago. We were planning the winter formal, if you must know." He pauses, opening his own textbooks with deliberate slowness. "Besides, I'm worried about you."
The admission hangs in the air between you, honest and vulnerable in a way that makes your heart skip. "I'm fine."
"You fell asleep in calculus yesterday." His voice is gentle, no judgment in it. "Mrs. Kim had to wake you up three times. And you haven't been eating lunch, I've seen you in the library instead, every day this week."
Heat creeps up your neck, embarrassment blooming across your cheeks. You thought no one had seen, thought you'd been invisible in your struggle. "I was just—"
"Exhausted," Sungho finishes. "You're burning yourself out, and I can't just sit back and watch anymore."
The crack in your carefully constructed facade widens at his words. You've been running on caffeine and stubbornness for weeks, pushing yourself harder and harder because that's what's expected. Because perfect grades and perfect applications to perfect colleges are supposed to guarantee a perfect future. Because everyone thinks you have it all figured out.
"I have to keep up," you whisper, and your voice sounds small even to your own ears. "Everyone thinks I'm this perfect student, but I'm barely hanging on. If I slow down, if I let myself slip even a little..."
"The world won't end," Sungho says quietly. "Your worth isn't determined by your GPA."
You look up at him then, and find his dark eyes fixed on you with an intensity that makes your breath catch. There's an evident concern shown on his face, and it makes your heart race despite your exhaustion.
"You don't have to be perfect for everyone else," he continues, leaning forward slightly. "And you definitely don't have to be perfect for me."
The words hit deep in your chest, some buried part of you that's been aching to hear them. When did his opinion start mattering so much? When did Park Sungho become more than just the golden boy class president you admired from afar?
"How about this," he says, opening his physics textbook with careful precision. "We study together. I'll make sure you actually take breaks, eat something that isn't from a vending machine, and get out of here at a reasonable time. Consider it my presidential duty to look after my constituents."
There's a teasing note in his voice that makes you smile despite everything. "You don't have to babysit me."
"I'm not babysitting you." Pink colours his cheeks, and he looks younger suddenly, less like the composed leader everyone knows and more like a boy with a crush. "I like spending time with you. Even if it's just sitting here doing homework. Especially if it's sitting here doing homework."
Your heart beats faster in your chest, a flutter of possibility that you've been too tired to acknowledge until now. Park Sungho, who could be anywhere, with anyone, who probably has dozens of people vying for his attention, wants to sit in the quiet library with you, wants to drink coffee, share conversations and study together, with you. 
"Okay," you say quietly, and the word feels like stepping off a cliff. "But I'm buying the coffee next time."
His smile is radiant, transforming his entire face. "Deal. Though I should warn you, I take my coffee very seriously. Two sugars, splash of cream, and it has to be from the good machine in the student lounge."
"Noted, Mr. President."
"Just Sungho," he says, he glances at you, then away, as if trying to build the courage in silence. "When it's just us, just call me Sungho."
As he starts explaining a physics concept you've been struggling with, his voice patient and encouraging, you find yourself studying more than just the diagrams he's sketching. The way his brow furrows when he concentrates, how he bites his lip when he's thinking, the gentle way his hand moves across the paper. 
"You're not paying attention," he says suddenly, catching you staring.
"Sorry, I—"
"Don't apologize." His smile is soft, almost fond. "I was starting to think you saw right through me."
"Through you?"
"I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for months," he admits, his honesty catching you off guard. "Every time I'd work up the courage, you'd disappear before I could say anything. The library was the only place I knew I'd find you."
The confession settles over you like a warm blanket, chasing away some of the cold exhaustion that's been your constant companion. "You've been looking for me?"
"Every day." He reaches across the table, his fingers barely brushing yours. "I know you think you have to keep going, but you’re allowed to fall apart too. Let me be there when you do."
For a second, you forget how to breathe.
No one’s ever said that to you. You don't say anything right away. You’re afraid if you do, your voice might crack open too much, so you just nod, acknowledging his words. 
"Same time tomorrow?" Sungho asks as you finally pack up your books, the library growing quiet around you.
"Tomorrow," you agree. For the first time in weeks, you're looking forward to something that isn't an exam or an assignment.
You're looking forward to him.
RIWOO ⋆⑅˚₊
˖➴ PAIRING : quiet artist!riwoo x theater kid!reader
Lee Sanghyeok is poetry in motion, even when he thinks no one is watching.
You discover this quite by accident on a Thursday evening when you're rushing back to the theater for your forgotten script. The performing arts wing should be empty by now, all the after-school activities long finished, but as you pass the dance studio, music bleeds through the heavy doors, and you catch a glimpse of movement that steals your breath.
He dances like he's having a conversation with the music itself, every gesture deliberate yet effortless. His hair falls across his forehead as he moves, and there's an ethereal quality to the way he flows from one position to the next, as if gravity affects him differently than the rest of the world. You've seen him around school, of course, the quiet boy who sits in the back of art class, who walks the halls with his head down and his sketchbook clutched close to his chest. But this is like seeing a secret part of his soul.
You shouldn't be watching. But you can't seem to make yourself move, can't tear your eyes away from the graceful arch of his spine, the precise angles of his arms cutting through the air. He's beautiful in the way that demands him to be witnessed, even in solitude.
The music ends, and he comes to a stop in the centre of the room, chest rising and falling with quiet breaths. That's when he sees you through the window, and you watch his eyes widen in what looks like panic.
You should run, perhaps pretend this never happened, let him keep his secret sanctuary. Instead, you find yourself pushing open the studio door, stepping into his world uninvited.
"I'm sorry," you say quickly, holding up your hands in surrender. "I was just—my script—I didn't mean to spy, I just—"
"It's okay." His voice is softer than you expected, barely above a whisper. He reaches for a towel draped over the barre, not quite meeting your eyes. "I thought everyone had gone home."
"That was..." You struggle for words that won't sound empty or inadequate. "You're incredible."
Pink blooms across his cheeks, and he ducks his head in that shy way you've noticed in class. "It's nothing special. Just how I unwind."
"Nothing special?" You can't keep the disbelief out of your voice. "Sanghyeok, that was—it was like watching art come alive."
He glances up at you, vulnerability flickering in his dark eyes. "You know my name."
The question catches you off guard. "Of course I know your name. We've had classes together since sophomore year."
"You never..." He trails off, shaking his head. "Most people don't really see me."
There's heartbreak in the way he says it, as if invisibility is just another part of his daily routine. You want to tell him that he's wrong, that people are just too intimidated by his quiet intensity to approach. That half the girls in your grade have whispered about his mysterious appeal, wondered what it would be like to be noticed by Lee Sanghyeok.
"Well, I've always seen you," you say instead, and the words come out more earnest than you intended. 
He musters up the courage to look at you in the eyes, and you feel the air between you shift. The studio suddenly feels smaller, more intimate, filled with possibilities you hadn't considered before this moment.
"What were you working on?" you ask, partly to break the tension and partly because you genuinely want to know. "The dance—is it for a specific performance?"
"Just... expressing what I couldn't put into words." He gestures vaguely at the mirror. "Movement says what words can't."
You understand that feeling more than he knows. It's why you act, why you lose yourself in characters and scripts and the magic of becoming someone else for a few hours. "I get that. That's what theater is for me, finding ways to say the things that are too big for regular conversation."
Recognition sparks in his eyes, a shared understanding passing between you. "You're in the drama program."
"Guilty. Though I'm probably not very good at it." You laugh, suddenly self-conscious. "I saw you at our last production. You were there opening night, sitting in the back row."
"You noticed me in the audience?"
"I notice you everywhere," you admit, and immediately want to take it back. However, Sanghyeok doesn't look uncomfortable, if anything, he seems surprised, pleased even.
"I wanted to tell you afterwards that you were amazing," he says quietly. "But I didn't know how to approach you. You always seem so confident on stage, so sure of yourself."
"That's just acting," you tell him with a rueful smile. "Real me is significantly less put-together."
"I doubt that." He takes a step closer, close enough that you can see the fine sheen of sweat on his skin, smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with exertion. "You want to try dancing?"
"Try what?"
"Dancing. With me." He extends a hand, palm up, waiting. "If you want. You don't have to—"
"Yes." The word comes out before you can second-guess yourself. "I mean, I'm not very good—"
"Neither was I when I started." His smile is small but genuine as you place your hand in his. "Just follow my lead."
He starts the music again. His hand settles on your waist, warm even through your sweater, and you try not to think about how perfectly you seem to fit together.
"Just feel the music," he murmurs, close enough that his breath tickles your ear. "Don't think about the steps. Just move."
It should be awkward, you've never been much of a dancer, more comfortable with scripted movements and blocked staging. But there's a quality to the way he guides you that makes it feel natural. When you stumble, he steadies you with gentle hands. When you get self-conscious, he distracts you with observations about rhythm and flow that make you forget to be nervous.
"See?" he says as the song winds down, and you realize you've been moving together without conscious thought, following the music and each other in equal measure. "You're a natural."
You're standing closer than you started, his hands still on your waist and yours having found their way to his shoulders. The studio is quiet except for your slightly uneven breathing, and you can see yourself reflected in his dark eyes.
"This is nice," you whisper, not wanting to break whatever spell has settled over you both.
"Yeah," he agrees, voice barely audible. "Really nice."
"Could we..." You bite your lip, suddenly nervous. "Could we do this again? I mean, if you don't mind sharing your space. I know this is your sanctuary—"
"I'd like that." He smiles, the kind that transforms his entire face, makes him look less mysterious and more like a boy your age who's just been asked on a date. 
As you finally step apart, gathering your forgotten script and preparing to leave him to his private world, you can't help but feel like the foundation of your reality has shifted. Like you've been let into a secret world that few people ever get to see.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Sanghyeok asks as you reach the door, and there's hope in his voice that makes your heart skip.
"Tomorrow," you confirm, and you're already counting the hours until you can watch him dance again, until you can be part of his quiet magic once more.
Lee Sanghyeok has shown you a new way of expressing what words cannot capture, and you think you're falling for both the art and the artist.
JAEHYUN ⋆⑅˚₊
˖➴ PAIRING : energetic senior!jaehyun x chaotic junior!reader
The first time Myung Jaehyun and you interacted, you were arguing with a folding table.
Not just struggling with it, actively engaged in what appeared to be a heated philosophical debate about its structural integrity while half the student council watched in fascination. You'd arrived twenty minutes late to the festival planning meeting, knocked over three chairs in your haste to find a seat, and now stood toe-to-toe with an inanimate object like it had personally offended your entire bloodline.
"I think you're supposed to lift the latch first," Jaehyun offered as he approached. His voice carried that familiar teasing lilt that made teachers simultaneously want to throttle him and nominate him for student of the year.
You whirled around, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and indignation. "I know how tables work, thank you very much."
"Do you, though?" He tilted his head, studying you with barely concealed amusement. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you're losing."
The committee head, a stern-faced senior who treated festival planning like military strategy, cleared her throat pointedly. "As I was saying before the interruption, we need volunteers for setup crew. Since our newest member seems so... enthusiastic about furniture arrangement, she can assist Jaehyun with decorations."
Your mouth fell open in protest, but Jaehyun was already grinning, that infuriatingly smug expression that made your pulse quicken for reasons you refused to examine too closely.
"Looks like you're stuck with me, rookie."
The days into what you'd mentally dubbed "Festival Prep Hell," you'd learned several crucial facts about Myung Jaehyun :
First, he had an uncanny ability to appear whenever you were about to do anything remotely dangerous, stupid, or both. Second, his definition of "helping" involved a lot of commentary and very little actual assistance. Third, he had appointed himself your personal supervisor despite you never asking for, wanting, or needing one.
"You realize you're holding those scissors wrong," he observed from his perch on the art room windowsill, watching you cut paper streamers with the intensity of a nature documentarian studying an exotic species.
"I realize you're supposed to be helping instead of providing color commentary," you shot back, snipping another length of crepe paper with unnecessary force.
"I am helping. I'm preventing you from injuring yourself or others." He hopped down, sauntering over to peer at your work. "Besides, someone needs to make sure you eat. Speaking of which—"
He produced a triangle kimbap from his backpack, setting it on the desk beside your elbow with practiced ease. You'd stopped questioning where he acquired these snacks or why he'd decided feeding you was his responsibility. The alternative was admitting that his quiet attentiveness made your chest feel warm and fluttery, which was absolutely not happening.
"I'm not hungry," you lied, stomach choosing that exact moment to growl audibly.
"Uh-huh." Jaehyun's eyes crinkled with suppressed laughter. "And I'm not devastatingly handsome."
"Correct on both counts."
"Ouch." He pressed a hand to his heart in mock wounded. "You wound me, rookie. Here I am, generously sharing my food with an ungrateful underclassman—"
"Generously?" You finally looked up from your streamers, eyebrow raised. "You literally stole that from Sungho's lunch."
"Borrowed. There's a difference."
"The difference being that stealing implies you plan to return it?"
"Exactly." His grin widened. "See? You're learning."
Despite yourself, you found your lips twitching upward. This was the problem with Jaehyun, just when you'd worked up a proper head of indignation, he'd do or say something that made you want to laugh instead. It was infuriating and endearing in equal measure.
"Eat," he said, his voice gentler now. "You've been working for three hours straight."
"I'm fine."
"You're dead on your feet." Before you could protest, his hand was on your forehead, checking for fever with the casual intimacy of someone who'd been doing it for years instead of days. "When's the last time you slept? Not whatever you call that thing you do where you close your eyes for twenty minutes between assignments."
Heat crept up your neck at the contact, at the unexpected tenderness in his voice. "I sleep plenty."
"Rookie." The nickname sounded different this time, more affectionate than teasing. "You know you don't have to prove anything to anyone, right?"
Your hands stilled on the scissors. "I don't know what you mean."
"Sure you don't." He settled into the chair beside you, close enough that you could smell his cologne. "You've been running yourself ragged trying to show the committee you belong here. News flash : you already do."
"I'm a freshman who can't even set up a table correctly."
"You're a freshman who told the head of the planning committee that her colour scheme looked like a unicorn had a violent encounter with a rainbow." His shoulders shook with suppressed laughter. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to say that?"
You ducked your head, fighting a smile. "It did look like that, though."
"It absolutely did. And you had the guts to say it." His finger hooked under your chin, tilting your face up to meet his gaze. "That's not something to be ashamed of, rookie. That's something to be proud of."
The art room fell quiet except for the distant sounds of other students in the hallway. Jaehyun's thumb brushed across your cheek, when had he gotten so close?—and you forgot how to breathe properly.
"Besides," he continued, voice dropping to a murmur, "I happen to like chaos. Keeps things interesting."
"I'm not chaotic," you whispered. "I'm just... enthusiastic."
"Is that what we're calling it?" His eyes were warm, crinkled at the corners with genuine fondness. "In that case, I'm enthusiastic about you being enthusiastic."
Before you could process what he meant by that, he was pulling back, ruffling your hair with practiced ease. "Good job today, rookie. But next time, eat the kimbap when I give it to you, yeah?"
You watched him gather his things, movements unhurried and confident. At the door, he paused, glancing back with that familiar grin.
"Oh, and for the record? Tomorrow we're bribing the janitor to let us use the good ladder for hanging decorations. I've got hot packs and chocolate milk."
"You can't just bribe people to make your life easier!"
"Watch me."
He was gone before you could formulate a proper response, leaving you alone with your paper streamers and the lingering scent of his cologne. You touched your cheek where his thumb had been, heart hammering against your ribs.
Myung Jaehyun was going to be the death of you.
TAESAN ⋆⑅˚₊
˖➴ PAIRING : grumpy musician!taesan x sunshine class rep!reader
Every morning began the same : the classroom door sliding open at precisely 7:45am, followed by your sunshine-bright voice cutting through pre-class murmurs.
"Good morning, everyone! Good morning, Tae-Tae!"
And every morning, Dongmin, known to most as Taesan, would respond with the same carefully calibrated grunt, eyes never lifting from the composition in his worn music notebook.
Today was no different. You placed your bag down before making a deliberate detour to his back corner desk, where he sat with headphones covering one ear.
"Here's the chemistry handout you missed yesterday," you announced, placing the paper atop his notebook. "And the college application deadline got moved up, it's on the second page."
His response was a barely perceptible nod, fingers continuing to sketch musical notations.
Most students would have retreated. But three years as class representative had taught you to recognize the difference between genuine hostility and practiced indifference. With Dongmin, the distance was carefully constructed.
"There's a faculty meeting fourth period, so we're having study hall," you continued. "Perfect timing for that history essay due Friday. Which you haven't started yet, have you?"
His pencil paused. "How do you know what I have or haven't started?"
You smiled triumphantly. "You always touch your left ear when you're behind on assignments."
His hand jerked away from his ear where his fingers had been tugging at his earring. The betrayal of his unconscious gesture sparked annoyance across his features.
"Don't you have morning announcements to obsess over?"
"All prepared! I even included your band's show this weekend."
Surprise quickly disguised as indifference flickered on his face. "You didn't have to do that."
"I wanted to. That's what friends do."
Before he could protest the label, you spun away, leaving him staring after you with bewildered frustration.
The cafeteria buzzed with lunchtime chaos when you spotted Dongmin at his usual corner table, guitar case beside him, music sheets spread as both creative outlet and social barrier.
You set your tray down across from him without asking permission.
"Not hungry again?" you asked, noticing his empty table.
He shrugged. "Forgot."
You sighed before producing a second lunch box from your bag. "Good thing I remembered for you."
His eyes narrowed. "You packed me lunch?"
"Just rice and kimchi. And those octopus sausages that were on sale." You pushed the container toward him. "Consider it payment for helping with the festival sound check."
"That was weeks ago."
"I'm very thorough with my debts."
He stared at the lunch box with frozen incomprehension before reluctantly pulling it towards himself.
"The vitamin C packet is in the side," you added. "You've been coughing since Tuesday."
"I don't need—"
"Just take it, Tae-Tae. Being grumpy is your personality, being sick is just inconvenient."
A passing classmate nearly stumbled at your audacity. Everyone knew Dongmin allowed only close friends to use his stage name Taesan. The diminutive "Tae-Tae" should have earned immediate banishment.
Yet somehow, you remained unexiled.
He unwrapped the chopsticks, mumbling what might have been "thank you."
When the bell rang, he had finished everything, even the vitamin drink.
"You didn't have to wait," he said, noticing you'd barely touched your own food while chatting.
You shrugged. "I like talking to you."
"Why?" The question escaped before he could contain it.
You tilted your head with unusual seriousness. "Because I think you're nice. Even if you pretend you're not."
The words hit him like an unexpected chord change. Emotions rippled through his features, confusion, denial, then fleeting tenderness that disappeared before you could place it.
He turned away abruptly. "You're delusional."
"Probably," you agreed cheerfully. "See you in math!"
As you walked away, you missed his fingers tracing the empty container's edge, or how his eyes followed you with an expression his bandmates would have recognized as panic.
Days later, you arrived at school with a slight fever and significantly less energy. Your morning greeting lacked volume, and you forgot the fire drill reminder.
During literature, you rested your head on your arms, closing eyes against too-bright fluorescent lights. When the lunch bell rang, you remained seated.
"You're sick."
You looked up to find Dongmin beside you, his perpetual frown deepened with suspicious concern.
"Just tired," you insisted.
"Your face is red. And you didn't harass me about the math assignment."
"You didn't turn in the—" You stopped, recognizing the trap. "You did turn it in."
His mouth twitched. "You're slipping, Class Rep."
He placed a bottle on your desk, cold green tea, your favourite brand.
"Drink this instead of that sugary coffee."
You stared at the bottle, then at him, uncharacteristically speechless.
"It's just tea," he muttered. "Don't make it weird."
"Did you... buy this for me?"
"You gave me vitamin C." He said it like the connection was obvious.
A smile spread across your face despite fatigue. "Tae-Tae, that's so sweet."
"Stop calling me that," he grumbled with notably less irritation.
"Never."
He sighed, resigned. "You should go home if you're sick."
"Can't. Student council meeting after school."
He observed you before reaching a decision. "Give me your phone."
Too tired to argue, you unlocked and handed it over. He typed quickly before returning it. On screen, you saw he'd added his contact information.
"Text me after your meeting. I'll walk you home."
Your eyebrows rose. "Really?"
"You'll probably pass out on the subway otherwise," he said defensively. "And then I'd have to listen to everyone talk about how the perfect class rep collapsed. It would be annoying."
"Can't have you annoyed," you agreed solemnly, though your smile betrayed understanding.
True to his word, Dongmin waited outside the student council room. When you emerged looking exhausted, he wordlessly took your backpack.
On the crowded train, he positioned himself beside you, one arm braced overhead, body angled to shield you from pressing commuters.
"This is my home," you said, stopping before your apartment building.
He returned your backpack. For a moment, he seemed on the verge of saying something, hands shoved in pockets.
"Thank you for walking me home."
"It's nothing," he responded, then reconsidered. "You should rest tomorrow. The class can survive one day without your excessive enthusiasm."
You smiled weakly. "Is that your grumpy way of saying you'd miss me?"
He scoffed but didn't deny it. "Just take care of yourself for once instead of everyone else."
You missed the next day, fever worsening. Your phone filled with messages from classmates, and among them, a single text from Dongmin : Did you eat?
You replied : Soup. You?
His response came quickly : Yes.
Then : The classroom is too quiet.
The admission warmed you more than your fever.
When you returned, you found a small package on your desk : throat lozenges, vitamin C, and a handwritten note with music recommendations labelled "Songs for Recovery."
You glanced at Dongmin, who sat pretending to read, ears betrayingly pink. When your eyes met, he quickly looked away, but not before you caught his relieved expression.
"Good morning, Tae-Tae," you called, voice still hoarse.
His response, though quiet, was distinctly more than his usual grunt :
"Morning."
As much as he'd hate to admit it, he'd been waiting for his sunshine to return.
LEEHAN ⋆⑅˚₊
˖➴ PAIRING : popular pretty boy!leehan x shy science nerd!reader
Kim Donghyun is the kind of beautiful that makes people stop mid-sentence when he walks into a room. All sharp jawlines and soft eyes, with an effortless grace that makes even the most mundane activities look like they belong in a magazine spread. So when Ms Chen announces that he's your lab partner for the semester-long marine biology project, you nearly choke on your own saliva. 
"Looks like we're stuck with each other," he says, sliding into the seat next to you with that easy smile that's probably launched a thousand crushes. Up close, he's even more devastating, long lashes, perfect skin, the kind of natural beauty that should be illegal in high school settings.
You manage a squeaky "yeah" in response, already mentally preparing for a semester of doing all the work while he coasts by on his looks and charm. It's not fair to assume, but you've been burned by pretty partners before.
"So, marine ecosystems," Donghyun continues, pulling out a notebook that's surprisingly well-organized. "I was thinking we could focus on coral reef symbiosis? The relationship between clownfish and sea anemones is fascinating from both a biological and chemical perspective."
You blink at him, certain you've misheard. "You... want to study clownfish?"
"Well, the broader ecosystem, but yeah. Did you know that clownfish aren't actually immune to anemone stings? They build up immunity gradually by carefully exposing themselves to the mucus." His eyes light up as he talks, and there's genuine excitement in his voice that catches you completely off guard. "It's this incredible example of mutualistic symbiosis that most people think is just cute fish living in pretty flowers."
"You know about marine biology?"
He laughs, and the sound is warm and genuine. "I know I don't look like the type, but I've been obsessed with aquatic ecosystems since I was ten. I have three saltwater tanks at home and volunteer at the aquarium downtown on weekends."
This revelation is so far from what you expected that you actually stare at him for a moment. Kim Donghyun, who you've seen being voted for homecoming court and having lunch surrounded by the most popular kids in school, spends his free time cleaning fish tanks?
"That's... actually really cool," you admit, and his smile grows wider.
"Right? Most people think it's weird. My friends are always trying to drag me to parties when I'd rather be home watching my corydoras or reading about new conservation efforts." He leans forward conspiratorially. "Don't tell anyone, but I have names for all my fish. My runny nose tetra is called Professor Bubbles because he's very serious and intellectual-looking."
The giggle that escapes you is involuntary, and Donghyun's expression brightens like he's just won a prize.
"See, I knew you'd get it. You're always reading those marine conservation articles before class starts. I've been wanting to ask you about that paper on coral bleaching you were annotating last week."
"You noticed that?"
"I notice a lot of things, like how you light up during the ecology units, or how you always have the best questions during lab discussions. I was actually excited when Ms Chen paired us up."
Your brain struggles to process this information. Kim Donghyun, noticed you? Was excited to work with you? "But you could have anyone as a partner. People were literally volunteering to switch—"
"Why would I want to work with people who see this as an easy A when I could work with someone who actually cares about the subject?" He starts sketching out ideas for your project, his handwriting neat and precise. "Besides, I have a confession. I may know about marine life, but I'm terrible at the statistical analysis part. I was hoping you could help me with that side of things."
"You want my help?"
"Partnership means playing to each other's strengths, right?" He grins, and there's genuine warmth in it that makes your chest flutter. "I'll handle the biological research and species identification, you handle the data analysis and statistical modeling. Together we'll probably ace this thing."
Over the next few weeks, you discover that Donghyun is nothing like what you expected. He shows up to every study session with homemade flashcards and detailed notes, gets genuinely excited about discussing nitrogen cycles and pH levels, and has an encyclopedic knowledge of fish behaviour that rivals your textbooks.
He's also surprisingly goofy, making terrible fish puns that shouldn't be funny but somehow are, doing silly voices when he reads scientific papers aloud, and getting distracted by every aquarium they pass when you visit the marine centre for research.
"Oh my god, look at that parrotfish," he whispers during one of your field research trips, pressing close to the glass with the wonder of a five year old. "Look at those colours! And the way it's reorganizing the substrate—they're such meticulous little architects."
You find yourself watching him more than the fish, charmed by his unguarded enthusiasm. This is so different from the cool, collected version of himself he presents at school, and you realize you might be seeing the Kim Donghyun who cares more about marine conservation than maintaining his image.
"You're really passionate about this," you observe as he takes detailed notes on fish behavior patterns.
"My dream is to study marine biology in college, maybe work in conservation someday." He looks almost embarrassed by the admission. "I know it's not what people expect from me."
"Why do you care what people expect?"
The question seems to catch him off guard. He's quiet for a moment, watching a school of tropical fish swim in perfect synchronization. "I guess I've gotten used to being what people want me to be. The pretty face, the popular guy, the one who makes everything look effortless." He glances at you sideways. "But it's exhausting pretending you don't care about things just because it's not cool to be passionate."
"For what it's worth, I think passion is attractive. The way you talk about marine ecosystems... it's like watching you come alive."
Pink creeps across his cheeks, and he ducks his head with a shy smile that's entirely different from his usual confident grin. "Really?"
"Really. I've learned more from you in three weeks than I did in the entire first semester."
"Same here. You make the statistical analysis actually make sense instead of just being numbers on a page." He bumps your shoulder gently. "Plus, you're the only person who doesn't tune out when I start rambling about symbiotic relationships."
"I like your rambling."
"I like that you like it," he says quietly.
Two months into your partnership, you're not sure when exactly Donghyun stopped being your intimidatingly beautiful lab partner and became simply the boy who brings you coffee during long research sessions, who texts you pictures of his fish with increasingly ridiculous captions, who stays after class to debate conservation policies with the same intensity other guys bring to sports.
"We should celebrate," he says after you receive your project grades, an A+ with a note from Ms Chen praising your thorough research and innovative analysis.
"Celebrate how?"
"The aquarium is having a night dive program this weekend. Would you want to go? As partners in academic crime?" His smile is hopeful, nervous in a way that's endearingly human. "I promise I'll try to control my excitement about seeing nocturnal feeding behaviours."
"I'd love to," you say, and the way his face lights up makes you realize that you've fallen for Donghyun, not the popular pretty boy everyone else sees, but the passionate, goofy, genuine person he trusts you enough to be.
"Perfect. It's a date." He pauses, seeming to realize what he's said. "I mean, if you want it to be. A date, that is. It could just be a friendly educational outing between lab partners who happen to—"
"Donghyun."
"Yeah?"
"I'd love for it to be a date."
WOONHAK ⋆⑅˚₊
˖➴ PAIRING : protective basketball athlete!woonhak x transfer student!reader
Whispers stirred through homeroom like a breeze before a storm, and Ms Park’s usual monotone took on a rare edge of anticipation as she cleared her throat and said, “Class, please welcome our new transfer student.”
You stood beside her desk, clutching your schedule with white knuckles, eyes fixed on a mysterious scuff mark on the linoleum floor. The classroom felt cavernous, thirty pairs of eyes burning into you like searchlights.
"Would you like to introduce yourself?" Ms Park prompted gently.
You mumbled your name, hometown, and a forgettable fact about yourself before sliding into the only empty desk available. 
That's when you felt a gaze so persistent it practically warmed your skin. You glanced up to find a boy with tousled dark hair and a smile that could power a small city staring directly at you. His uniform tie hung slightly crooked, but everything else about him radiated perfection.
He waved. At 8:17am in the morning. Who does that?
You offered a tentative half-smile before returning your attention to unpacking your notebook. But the intensity of his attention lingered like perfume.
When class ended, he materialized beside your desk with supernatural speed.
"I'm Woonhak," he announced, as if introducing a celebrity. "Kim Woonhak. I'm the class representative and captain of the basketball team." His enthusiasm bordered on excessive for this ungodly hour of morning. "You picked a great day to transfer, the cafeteria's serving tteokbokki today."
You blinked at him. "That's... useful information."
"I can show you around if you want. The school's layout makes zero sense."
“I think I can manage," you replied, but with less ice than intended.
Woonhak's smile never faltered. "Cool, cool. Offer stands. See you at lunch?"
Before you could respond that you hadn't agreed to any lunch plans, he'd bounced away to high-five someone across the room.
Your plan had been to eat alone, to blend into the scenery until you found your footing. But when you entered the cafeteria, Woonhak spotted you instantly as if he'd been watching the door, and waved with such vigor you worried he might dislocate something.
"Saved you a seat!" he called out, drawing attention from nearby tables.
You considered pretending not to hear him, but that would require explaining yourself tomorrow, which seemed more exhausting than just surrendering to his relentless friendliness.
"You didn't have to do that," you said, sliding onto the bench opposite him.
"I know." He pushed a small carton of banana milk towards you. "They always run out, so I grabbed an extra."
You stared at the carton, unsure how to process this random act of kindness. "Thanks."
Lunch with Woonhak meant meeting his entire social circle, which appeared to encompass half the student body. He introduced you to everyone who passed, pronouncing your name with such pride you'd think he'd invented it himself.
"How do you know so many people?" you asked when the parade of introductions finally paused.
He shrugged, mouth full of rice. After swallowing, he said, "I've lived in this neighbourhood my whole life. It's impossible not to know everyone eventually."
His popularity seemed effortless, yet he chose to spend lunch with the new girl. "You don't have to babysit me, you know."
His eyebrows shot up. "Babysit? Is that what you think this is?"
"I don't know what this is."
His expression softened. "This is me making a friend. Unless you'd rather be left alone? I can respect boundaries, my mom says I come on too strong sometimes."
The naked honesty in his voice disarmed you. "No, it's...fine. I'm just not used to people being so..."
"Charming? Devastatingly handsome?"
You rolled your eyes, but couldn't suppress a smile. "I was going to say 'persistent.'"
His laughter rang clear and genuine. "Fair enough."
Days blurred into weeks. Woonhak's morning greetings became as reliable as sunrise. He started walking you to classes even when they weren't on his route, claiming he "needed the exercise" despite his obviously athletic physique.
"Everyone's staring at us," you whispered as you entered the gymnasium where Woonhak's basketball team was practicing. You'd agreed, against better judgment, to watch. 
"They're just not used to seeing me with such an intimidating person," he whispered back.
"Intimidating? Me?"
"Absolutely. You've got that mysterious transfer student aura. Very exclusive."
You snorted. "You're ridiculous."
"Part of my charm."
You settled on the bleachers while Woonhak jogged to join his teammates. Watching him transform from goofy hallway companion to focused athlete was fascinating. His movements became precise, calculated, as if he'd shed a layer of himself when stepping onto the court.
After practice, you waited by the gym doors, scrolling through your phone. You didn't notice the approach of three players until their shadows fell across your screen.
"You're the new girl, right?" The tallest one asked. His hair was still damp from the showers, his uniform shirt unbuttoned at the collar.
You nodded.
"I'm Minje. Team vice-captain." His smile carried confidence that bordered on arrogance. "We're heading to get bubble tea. Wanna join?"
Before you could answer, Woonhak appeared beside you, gym bag slung over his shoulder. His usual smile seemed different, tight around the edges.
"She can't," he said, voice unusually firm. "We have plans."
Minje's eyebrows rose. "Do you? Or are you just saying that?"
"We're working on her literature assignment," Woonhak replied smoothly, though this was news to you.
"I didn't know you two were so... close," Minje said, looking between you with renewed interest.
"We're not—" you began.
"Running late," Woonhak interrupted, gently tugging your sleeve. "See you guys tomorrow."
Once outside, you pulled your arm free. "What was that about? We don't have plans."
His cheeks flushed pink. "Sorry. Those guys are my friends, but they can be... I just thought you might not want to..."
Understanding dawned. "Are you jealous?"
"What? No! I'm just..." He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it further. "Protective."
"I don't need protection, Woonhak."
"I know that." His voice softened. "Trust me, I know how capable you are. But Minje collects phone numbers like Pokémon cards.”
"We could get bubble tea," you suggested. "If you want."
His face brightened immediately. "Really?"
"Don't make a big deal about it."
"I would never," he said, already bouncing slightly on his toes. "Except it is kind of a big deal because this is the first time you've initiated plans with me, which means you officially consider me a friend now, which is a significant milestone in our—"
"I'm rethinking this already."
He laughed, falling into step beside you. "No take-backs."
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gatorbites-imagines · 10 months ago
Text
Kinktober day 16
Curly (Mouthwashing) + food play
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Guess whos got Mouthwashing brainrot. This guy. I love me a psychological horror game that im too scared to play myself, so I watch manlybadasshero play it. I love curly, and I love angst and horror, so here we go.
tw for vague mentions of what happens in the game, and Curly losing his mind.
2024 kinktober masterlist
Sunlight passed in through the slim windows in your shared apartment, the radio playing some tune you didn’t know the name off. Most music nowadays was made by AI, generating what seemed to be popular at that very moment, so it was never worth learning the names, not when most were just a line of numbers and letters.
Your socked feet carry you silently across the carpet, a serving tray in your hands as you carefully push the door open. The apartment was ancient by todays standards, but it had windows that let you see the actual sun, and not just the artificial one they used so people wouldn’t go crazy. It did result in having doors you actually had to open, instead of sliding doors.
Seeing your husband laid out on the bed made it all worth it though, the sliver of sunlight brushing against his skin and making his blonde hair look like gold. Curly was going on another delivery in a weeks time and would be gone for about eight months to a year. It might have sounded extreme, but in this day and age it was normal, especially for you two, who were working class.
 Luckily you had a job that paid okay, but not enough to support you both, and your lover had such a draw to the stars. This also meant you two had been going at it like rabbits, to be able to sate yourselves until you met again.
The tray was placed on the bedside table, a sleepy smile pulling at Curly’s lips as you crawl up the bed, pressing soft kissing all the way up his spine. “Morning captain” you murmur against his neck, where you bury your face and inhale deeply, simply taking in the smell that was him.
His hand lazily reaches back and runs through your hair, a sleepy hum leaving his lips as Curly seems to melt further into the sheets, a long relaxed exhale leaving him. “mornin…” he mumbles, not even opening his eyes as he felt your chest press against his back.
Mornings like this with you were Curly’s favourite, where he just got to indulge himself in all that he loved. A small yelp did jump out of him as he felt something run down his back, your chuckle making him grumble and finally glance back at you, his blue eyes parted just enough to see you.
Curly huffed a little as he watched and felt you lick syrup up from the crevice of his spine, your tongue flicking out and lapping against every knob of his spine that you could feel. He sighed and arched his back a little as you got further down, flattening your tongue against the dimple of his back and giving a wet suck, slurping up the syrup that had collected there.
“Sweet, like you” you mumble against his skin, shooting him a cheesy wink as he grunts at your stupid joke. He was more than willing to lift his hips though, as you started working his boxers down, Curly twitching again as you tilted more of the syrup against his skin.
Had he not been so sleepy and hot inside already, he might have complained as he felt the thick syrup run down between his cheeks, against his fluttering hole, which still felt sensitive from the multiple rounds you’d had the day before.
Your tongue licking against it was like a Band-Aid, but also kindling upon the fire in his gut. Curly shuddered and hummed softly into the pillow, hips lazily rocking back against your tongue as you licking and tasted all he had to offer.
Curly could feel you pouring more of the syrup on him, and part of his brain wondered if you had bought it, just to use it for this. Sugary items weren’t the cheapest, so it did fluster him a little more, knowing you most likely had saved up just to lick it off him. It made the familiar pulsing hardness between his legs dribble against the sheets, his hips rocking more intently against the bed.
“My pretty captain” you coo against his hole, only to follow it up with another wet suckle and slurp. One of your hands rubbed at his thigh, as the other pulled one of his cheeks, opening him up more for your hungry tongue and mouth.
You both knew you could have just pressed inside him, seeing as he was most definitely still loose from the day before. But the act of getting to lick him out and taste him like this was part of the fun, to feel Curly rut against the bed, but also back against your face, the taste of your spend from the day before, of Curly, and of the sweet syrup, flooded your senses.
It wasn’t the real syrup, the stuff they got from trees. Someone on your salary could never dream of even tasting the stuff, but it was a replacement version. It tasted a bit fake, but it was better than the cheap stuff. Add that to the taste of your lovers hole and his desperate panting, then it became a five star meal.
Curly let out a shaky keened noise as you finally pulled back, the blonde glancing over his shoulder again to watch as you slowly crawled back up again, pressing your chest against his back once more. “I love you” you mumble against his neck, grabbing yourself at the base to push inside him, Curly opening up with ease from all your prep.
“I love… you too” he gasped out, having to catch his breath as he felt your tip press expertly against his prostate. You had learned how to play him like a fiddle a while ago, back when you two were younger, and he was still studying to become a captain of a ship, and you had just started your career. You had both been so clumsy at the time, laughing and embarrassed, trying to figure it all out.
He let out a breathless giggle as you poured more lines of syrup against his back, licking it up from between his shoulders and up to his neck. “you’ll get it in my hair” he snickered, burying his face into the pillow once more as your hips worked together, his more desperate than yours.
“We can just take a bath” you reply, your voice rougher than before as you hold yourself up with your hands, moving your hips in rougher strokes, knowing that Curly liked it that way, to have his prostate struck over and over until he was wailing.
Neither of you really wanted to go far enough for Curly to start clawing at the bed, lost in tears of pleasure and fucked so good he couldn’t form a thought. At least, not now, not when he had just woken up, instead you stuck to suckling the sweet substance off his skin, the flavour mixing with the salty tang of his sweat.
Curly was the first to spill, his noises growing higher in pitch as his hips rocked in short quick strokes, downright humping the bed but also trying to jump back against you. Your captain got too desperate sometimes, no matter how many times you guys did this. He was normally too nice and too selfless, and times like this were the only time he allowed himself to be selfish.
His noises melted in a drawn out keen, which turned into a deeper guttural groan, his hips grinding hard against the sheets as he spurted all over it, your hips grinding against his from the back to push him further against it. “Good, so good. So good for me Curly” you pant, rutting against him a few more times before spilling inside him, adding to the mess that had mostly been licked up by yourself.
You both laid there, pressed against each other and panting, trying to catch your breaths and basking in the glow of being together. When he caught his breath, Curly lifted himself from the pillow, which now had some spit and tear stains as a result of his pleasure. His lips slotted against yourself, Curly smirking lazily at the sweet taste on your tongue. It tasted so good, even if he didn’t normally like the stuff, but on your tongue anything tasted divine.
A rattly exhale left his teeth, as there weren’t really any lips left to breathe through. Curly’s one eye was blurry as he stared up at the same ceiling he had been staring at for who knows how long. His mind had been slipping more and more lately. Every waking moment was pain, and whenever he slept, he dreamed of you.
Every now and then he swore he could taste syrup, even amongst the horrible taste of bile, blood, and the pain medication Jimmy force-fed him. Maybe the pain and isolation were finally catching up, his pained limbs thrashing weakly against the bed. Not because of pain, even if it was ever present. But because he longed for you. he longed for your eyes, your lips, your hands, your love. Anything to carry him through this… this guilt and pain.
Would you still want him, like this? You had always loved his hair, his eyes, you had always loved his handsome features. And what was he now, other than the sad pathetic remains of a man who deserved to die. But he couldn’t die, not yet, not when he had promised to return to you.
He could almost hear you. your loving voice which filled him with longing. Calling out for him, loving him, comforting him through the worst of his pains. Curly… my captain… Curly, Curly, Curly, C- “Curly?” a soft voice broke through the visions and illusions, at least most of them.
He couldn’t turn his head well, but Anyas face was familiar as it leant over him. She looked exhausted and like she had aged ten years from the stress of it all. She seemed relieved but also saddened to see him still alive, like part of her had hoped he would die peacefully in his sleep. “I don’t… I don’t think I can do this anymore, Curly. Its not your fault, but I can’t-“ she stuttered, voice shuddering and eyes glossy.
Hearing the rattle of the pill bottle in her hand made it all make sense. Poor Anya, another victim of Curly and his inability to do anything right. He wasn’t made at her, he hoped the few gurgles he could let out before the pain got too extreme expressed that. Her smile was so tired, one of her hands resting on his bandage covered bicep, before she slowly sank to the floor.
Curly could hear her breathing slowing down, even above his own raspy pained wheezing. If he blurred his vision enough, and let himself slide deeper into his mind, away from most of the pain, then he could hear your breathing too. He could feel it puffing against the back of his neck, your mouth pressing against his shoulder, up his neck to his chin, and against his lips.
The door opened with a whoosh, Curly only truly registering that time had passed from the look on Jimmys face, and how the room had started to smell more of death than before. Even as Jimmy lifted him, Curly still tasted sugar. He tasted you. he could almost see you leaning over the table, your loving smile on your face, even as more pain burned through his leg. Even as it all blurred more and more. Even as everything grew cold, and he heard Jimmy finally take responsibility, as you looked back at him through the glass.
He tasted syrup.
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