#whatever. important thing is that my asks are back from the void and that's all that matters

[ninjagirlstar5]

Request? Soruko (Sora/Yoruko)? Please?

Soruko, my beloved ship. <3

[tardis--dreams]

I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡

[stardust-and-fries]

Oh boy!! A chance for me to yap about gender at length?!?!!?!? DON'T MIND IF I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [See tags for details. But be warned... I Popped the Fuck OFF writing this one, it's a doozy!]

Sorry if this is rude, but how do you identify? I looked around a bit and couldn't find anything, my apologies

Not rude! Honestly, I don't know these days! Lots of thoughts swirling around in my head. Maybe this is too much, but also maybe saying something instead of keeping it inside will be helpful... I'll put my gender thoughts under the cut... maybe someone can relate and offer some thoughts lol:

Recently, I came to the conclusion that I'm really not attracted to men at all, and maybe, I never have been. Looking back, I can kind of clearly see that any crush on a guy I thought I had was more like "wow, this person is COOL as HELL. I hope we can be really good friends." And then I noticed, that any crush I had on a girl felt... different. The feeling was totally different, and it still is. Have you noticed how most of the men I draw are quite feminine? I also have no idea what's going on with my gender. I know I'm me, a Yugo, I also can't comfortably say what exactly I am. Though by technicality, I am nonbinary, the word doesn't feel QUITE right to use for me. Maybe genderqueer is better. I've never identified as a man, but I have identified as transmasc and taken T. I really do like the results I've gotten from that. But at the same time, I don't really feel close to "manhood" at all, but something about having a mustache sometimes, like I tend to do, feels right to me still. I also like to wear lipstick and stuff. I don't know. I'm also not a "woman" I don't think, but I identify with more... I don't know, masculine expressions of womanhood if that makes sense? I am very androgynous in expression, in short. So basically I don't know what the hell is going on. All I know is I love women LOL. Can anyone relate to any of this? Any ideas?? I will not be offended by any assumptions you might have lol. Maybe I should just make a comic about this.

[thevoidstaredback]

Okay, so maybe giving his calling card to a kid was a bad idea. He sees that now. Unfortunately, it's too late to take it back. On the bright side, the kid wasn't going to be able to figure out who he is yet based solely on a summoning circle. In the pitch black void of things, Danny can sense the card and the person who's holding it.

Maybe if he leaves Fawcett fast enough he can keep plausible deniability because there's no way that the tiny homeless kid he just met is Captain Marvel. Nope, no way. Not his circus, not his monkeys. He's leaving now.

"What happened to you?" Deadman had an insufferable grin on his face. Did he have the House drop him in Gotham? Danny wouldn't put it past him.

"Don't wanna talk about it."

"Where ya going?"

"To the basement."

"Why?"

Was the other ghost always this annoying? "Because leaving was a terrible idea. I'm going to go hide in the basement until the day I fully die."

"Aw," Deadman tried to pout, but he failed and started to cackle. "Don't be like that. Did you not enjoy your trip to Gotham?"

Danny was a lot of things. Violent usually didn't make it onto that list. However, he was willing to make an assumption. "So it was your fault."

Another cackle. "Don't be like that! You've never been to Gotham before. You can't tell me you at least didn't have fun."

They were at the basement stairs now. "For your information, I have been to Gotham. I didn't get to do much exploring this time because Batman and his gaggle of sidekicks surrounded me!"

"You've been to Gotham?"

"Not important."

"Oh?" The glee on the full ghost's face made Danny uneasy. "I sense a story behind that."

Oh, no. "No. I'm not telling you." He marched past and down the stairs, not bothering to unlock or open the door.

"Please!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I said 'no'."

"Party pooper." he huffed. "You know I'm just going to keep asking, right?"

A sigh. "I'm not gonna cave. No."

"Ah, but you will!" That was the confidence of a ghost who knew he was right. Danny did not like how that bodes for him. "You, my friend, are a younger sibling. I am also a younger sibling."

Shit. "That....That means nothing. My answer will stay 'no'."

Deadman had the gall to chuckle darkly. "We'll see." Then, he disappeared.

Danny didn't sigh because he doesn't need to breathe. He was not going to tell what happened because what happens in Gotham stays in Gotham. It's a rule of thumb that people don't cross. Besides, Deadman doesn't know that Danny's actually the middle sibling. Dani, introduced to his parents soon after he'd told them he was a Halfa, was the embodiment of younger sibling because he had once been the embodiment of younger sibling.

***

"Please get Deadman to stop!" Danny begged Zatanna three weeks later. Maybe he'd overestimated himself a little bit.

The sorcerer raised an eyebrow as she looked up from the book she'd been reading. Something on runes? "What's he doing this time?"

"He won't stop asking me to tell him about my first trip to Gotham."

"You've been to Gotham?"

Danny groaned into the throw pillow he was clutching. "Yes. Please make him stop!"

"Sorry, hun," she focused back on her book, "But I can't see him."

"Oh. I forgot about that."

"Why don't you just tell him?"

Danny shot up, appalled by the very idea. "It's a matter of principle!" he exclaimed, "I am both the older and younger sibling: The middle child. If I give in, I'll have failed! I can't do that. Do you want me to fail?!"

"Okay, okay, geez!" she surrendered, "Don't gotta be so overdramatic about it."

"I'm not being overdramatic! I'm being just dramatic enough!"

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say, kid."

"I'm not a kid!"

"You look like one."

"Yeah, but I'm not! I'm-"

"King of the Infinite Realms," Constantine interrupted, "We know."

"Then don't call me a kid."

"Yeah, yeah, kid,"

"I'm not-!"

"Look, we can have this argument all day and we'll still end in a tie. I've got a case in San Francisco near Titan's Tower. Raven's coming along. Do you want to come with?"

"Don't you normally work solo?" Danny asked. Zatanna still hadn't looked back up from her book and he was pretty sure she'd tuned them out.

"Is that a 'no'?"

"No! No, I'll come with." Maybe having Constantine with him will deter the JL from hounding him. What do they even want with him? If they're upset that he died at fourteen, he's gonna scream.

The Brit smirked. "You sound almost desperate to get out."

"Shut up and let's go."

"Alright, alright."

Part 3 Part 5

Tag List: @zaiothe4th @someonebored0100 @wolfeyedwitch @angelheartgamer @nymanders

[pineapplepr1nc3ss888]

SELF CONCEPT:

let’s talk about self concept: self concept is how you see the world and how the world responds to you. there is a term Neville used called EIYPO (everyone is you pushed out) where everyone acts based on what you assume of them. everyone responds to what you assume of yourself but it also depends on what you assume of them too, for eg you assume everyone loves you and worships the ground you walk on but you also assume this specific person is an asshole then they will be an asshole cos of what you assume them even if they love you because you assume everyone loves you, that’s why it’s important to check what assumptions you have of people!

SELF CONCEPT IS EVERYTHING.

this is the foundation of your reality, how people treat you, how the world responds to you and what you will attract into your life! if you see yourself as loved and adored and desired and chased? the world will reflect that back. if you see yourself as unworthy of love, not good enough, and undesirable then the world will also reflect that too.

the 3d reality is entirely your mirror, and your imagination creates that reality from within. every single assumption you have yourself is reflected out and every assumption you have about others is also reflected out because it’s the job of the subconscious mind to produce into your reality WHATEVER you are assuming, doesn’t matter if it’s bad or good, it doesn’t know the difference it has no eyes only your thoughts. bad or good thoughts whatever you think will be projected.

YOU ARE EVERYTHING YOU DESIRE TO BE - only thing standing between you and your manifestations is your ASSUMPTIONS about yourself.

you wanna be loved? - assume you are loved

you wanna be wealthy? - assume money flows in every direction to you because money is so attracted to you.

VALIDATION COMES FROM WITHIN YOU NOT EXTERNALLY

your god state is ENTIRELY your fucking self concept, so ask yourself do my manifestations come to me fast and instant because i’m the one who has it all and i’m a fucking god/goddess? or do my manifestations come slow because i’m the one complaining about every little thing and asking why i don’t have everything i want?

neville basically identified the inner man as I AM, which of course also identify the void state as the I AM state but that state of consciousness is where you fully become pure consciousness fully immersed with your god self and you disconnect from the 3D, you are I AM, it is you. every affirmation you say starts with I AM, i am the void i am pure consciousness, etc for the void state or for self concept its stuff like i am loved, i am amazing, i am adored, i am worshipped by everyone, i am chased etc. the inner man starts with I AM and with recognising who you are . so when you are seeking reassurance and validation and we tell you to look within, you are looking to who you are, you are I AM and I AM does and cannot exist without you!

the more you persist in the assumption you are that person, the one who has it all - the 3d will shift to match that.

every single thought you entertain about yourself is an affirmation. so what are you thinking? are you building yourself up or tearing yourself down? would you let someone else speak to you the way you speak to yourself? are you embodying the version who has it all? are you truly entering your god state?

the god state is also something you already are but it comes with you stepping into it and letting nothing fear you. reality bends entirely to your will because think about it if you really believed without a doubt that you are a limitless being, that every desire is already yours? that nothing is beyond your reach? would you fear or doubt anything? - NO!

being a god means you are untouched, circumstances don’t phase you cos why would they? they’re old assumptions, reality bends to what you assume, that you are the one in control.

the only thing stopping this from happening is your own illusion that you are a person who doesn’t have it all, that you are separate from your desires when that’s not true, you ARE the person who has it all! you ARE loved and chased and desired and worshipped and everyone is just waiting to kiss the ground you walk on, you ARE that fucking girl/boy, you ARE wealthy and money flows effortlessly. YOU ARE THAT VERSION ALREADY and you need to fucking realise that! you already are it!

BE THE VERSION YOU WANNA BE AND STOP ENTERTAINING DOUBT!

[samkerrworshipper]

the monsters gone

part 3 of beautiful girl series -> part 1 -> part 2

leah williamson x reader, jordan nobbs x reader (wobbs as moms)

warnings: drug addiction, drug abuse, talks of illicit substances, depression, intrusive thoughts, would not advise for people in a bad mental headspace

You wanted her to leave, or you were desperate for a fix and well aware that it wasn’t going to happen until she was gone and you could retreat up to your room like normal. 

You scratched at the incision on your forearm, it was hidden underneath your hoodie but you could feel it all the same, it made you feel guilty. 

You’d never felt guilty for taking drugs, why would you? It was your choice, your body, your brain that you were fucking with. Yet for some reason, the little mark that you knew was sitting right on top of your vein was making you feel guilty. You didn’t want to admit it, but it felt oddly like the start of something, you weren’t sure what though, whatever it was though, it didn’t feel good. 

When the door clicked open around 2 o’clock you felt far more at peace, watching your mom hobble through the door with Lia following her. Jordan stood up almost immediately and if the room hadn’t already been awkward then the awkwardness found a whole new definition as the two women looked at each other. 

“Hey Jord, thanks for hanging around, you’re looking good.”

Your mom looked relieved to see Jordan, your ma on the other side looked slightly terrified as she eyed up the two women. 

“It wasn’t an issue, you know I love spending time with my chick.”

Leah smiled, looking down at you on the couch, you buried your head in your phone, ignoring her gaze. 

“Whether she admits it or not she likes seeing you as well.”

Your ma laughed awkwardly, it took everything in you to not burst out laughing at all of the tension between the two of them. 

“Look I’ll be heading off, gotta me back in Birmingham for game review tonight but can we talk for a minute though Le?”

Your mom’s head cocked to the side, a look of curiosity evident on her face. 

“Yeah sure, come with me.”

Lia watches them with the same look of curiosity as you, your eyes meeting as the trail back from the doorway to Leah’s office that they both step into. 

“They’re talking about me.”

Lia doesn’t bother trying to ignore you or deny what you’re saying, she nodes her head. 

“Probably, that’s what most parents do.”

It’s a absentminded answer, and for a second your aware that maybe Lia is in on whatever is happening, that she knows exactly what is going on behind the door. If anything important came from the phone call earlier you know Lia would be the first to know, she was like the third parent you never asked for nor wanted, but somehow ended up with. 

“Ma thinks that Mom’s parenting is shit.”

Lia cocks her head, she’s harder to read then your moms, more calculated, more clean, less obviously emotional. 

“She just disagrees with some of the things that your mother does, so do I. Nobody else is in her shoes though, she makes the decisions that are necessary and best for you.”

Lia sounds convinced of her words, even though you doubt them. 

“Ma doesn’t think so.”

Lia bit down on her bottom lip, finishing with tucking her kit bag away so she could focus her attention on you. 

“She worries about you.”

You did your best to suppress the eye roll, it didn’t work. 

“She worries that mom is too nice and isn’t strict enough.”

Sometimes you thought that your mom compensated for the void between the two of you by letting you do whatever you wanted, other times you were reminded by your grandma that she’d told Leah she needed to go easy on you and that not everyone could be as perfect as Leah Williamson. 

“Your mom knows what you need better than anybody else.”

The conversation paused, the two of you flinching at the sound of yelling from the other side of the door, you couldn’t make out what was being said, both of them were yelling though. 

“Set the table for lunch for me, kiddo?”

You couldn’t pull your eyes from the door, you hadn’t hear your moms yell in a long time, it took you back to when they were breaking up, when they tried to act like they weren’t, when they saved the fighting and yelling for when you’d been tucked into bed and they’d thought you were asleep. 

“Kiddo, table.”

You stood up from the couch, your eyes staying stuck to the door, even as you pulled cutlery from the drawer and laid it out with the placemats on the table. Eventually, the yelling ceased, and the room was over come with a silence like no other, only being broken by the door opening and your two moms walking out, both of them looking far more content considering that it had sounded like they were screaming at each other, not thirty seconds ago. 

“Bubba, Jord is going to head off, if you want to say bye.”

Jordan’s arms opened up to you and as mad and confused as you were, you weren’t going to deny her. You walked around the table, leaning into her hug, wrapping your arms around her the same way she did for you, letting her hold on for a little bit longer. 

“I’ll be back when I can chicky, I love you so much.”

You wanted to tell her she was lying, that they were all lying, they didn’t fucking love you, it was so fucking obvious. But for the sake of keeping the peace you didn’t. 

“I love you too Ma.”

Jordan let go of you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. The same way she had when they’d adopted you when you were eight, the same way she had after your first game when you were 12, the same way she had when you were 14 and you’d been top of your form and given an award, the same way she had when she’d left for good when you were 16. It was the same kiss, yet everything about it was different, the meaning, the purpose, the intention, it was all different. 

You watched as she walked out the door, the same as every time, you listened to the sound of her car starting and the sound of gravel underneath her tires as she pulled out and onto the road. 

Once you were sure she was gone you turned around, sliding into a seat at the table, across from your mother, staring at her. 

“What were you guys talking about?”

Leah looked at you, poker face as good as ever. 

“Football, some other stuff.”

It was a obvious lie, both you and Lia knew it. 

“You were talking about me, what about me?” Leah rolled her eyes at you. 

“It was a conversation between your Ma and I, not for your ears.”

You didn’t bat an eye as Lia set lunch down in front of you, to fixated on your mother. 

“You don’t yell over nothing, what were you talking about.”

Leah pushed her tongue out against her lips. 

“Your ma had some concerns about you, that’s it, I told her she had nothing to worry about and that we were doing just fine.”

You knew that even if you didn’t want to admit it, Jordan probably had some valid points, your mom seemed unphased though. 

“That’s it?”

Leah looked at you, and you could tell that she was holding something back. 

“She told me that you’d told her you smoked weed last night and that you were vomiting this morning.”

You tried to keep your face from changing, keeping the confident exterior even if you were slightly scared on the inside. 

“I got drunk, I had some fun, it was no biggy.”

Leah’s eyebrow rose in the trademark question. 

“It’s a biggy to me because you told all you were doing was vaping and a little bit of drinking, you said you’d be honest with me and it’s clear you haven’t been.”

You hesitated for a second, the air thickening around you as suddenly the tension was between you and your mother. 

“I was just having some fun mom, I didn’t do anything stupid, I was safe, just like you asked.”

Leah’s face shrivelled up as you used her words against her. 

“You were out with friends I’ve never met, at a house on the opposite side of town that I’ve never been too, Jord said you looked like you’d been on a three day bender and I told her that I didn’t believe her but now you’re here admitting it.”

You reached into your pocket for your vape, desperate for something to take the edge of the conversation off, to make you feel calmer. 

You pulled it out and Leah’s face immediately pointed inwards.

“How many times do I have to say no vape at the table?”

You frowned, shoving it back in your pocket. 

“It was just a bit of weed mom, it’s what kids my age do.”

Leah shook her head. 

“It wasn’t just a bit of weed, I’ve been smelling it on your clothes for weeks and trying to tell myself I was being delusional because you’d told me you were just on the vape, that you had no interest in drugs and yet you were lying to me, you have been for a while bubba and I don’t know how to feel about it to be honest. I thought we were closer than most parents and kids, I thought we had boundaries and that I was giving you enough space, and now I don’t know what to think.”

You pursed your lips, struggling to find words. 

“And if you’re lying to me about weed then what else is there? What else is there you aren’t telling me because there has to be more. I let you drop football, I relaxed on the school because I know you were struggling but this doesn’t work if you aren’t honest with me.” 

You really didn’t know what to say, your mind was in a million different places, the container underneath your bed, the joints on your windowsill hidden behind the curtains, the three vapes in your bedside table, the drug dealer numbers in your phone, what had happened last night, the meth track mark on your arm. 

“Nothing, it was just some weed, I just wanted something to take the edge off, it was no big deal.”

Leah’s eyes closed for a second and you knew this was all about to get a lot harder. 

“Except it was a big deal because you’ve been doing it behind my backs for weeks, I’ve tried to be understanding bubba, I have, I know it’s been tough for you with me and Jords breakup, you’ve had a really hard year, I let the vaping slide, I let your attendance drop at school, but drugs bub, it’s no joke.”

You took a deep breath. 

“It’s just some weed, I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”

Leah wants to say that if you’re this relaxed about being caught doing weed then she doesn’t want to know what else you’re hiding from her that would make you less relaxed, but she keeps it to herself, or for this moment at least. 

“I want you to bring me whatever you have of it, I won’t have you smoking illicit and illegal substances underneath my roof.”

You figured there were worse things that could happen, she could find your stash, she could take your vape, she could ground you or make you go to school. 

“Okay.”

Your mom nodded, happy she had at least won a small battle. 

“After lunch.”

You nod again in agreeance, looking down at the caesar salad in front of you and stabbing your fork down onto it, picking up the different pieces of lettuce and chicken scattered throughout. 

You make it through half the meal before you grab your bowl and pick it up, walking into the kitchen to do you washing up, your mom follows behind you, her bowl empty. 

You take the dish from her, cleaning it out and stacking both of them in the dishwasher, knowing whats to come now. 

You slow yourself down on the stairs giving her the time to follow behind you as she dragged her bad leg up every individual stair. 

Leah had been putting in hours everyday for her rehab, it was her main focus, over everything else. 

Eventually the two of you made it to the top of the stairs, and eventually to your bedroom door.

You hesitated before opening it, you couldn’t remember the last time Leah had been inside it, way before her acl, ever since she’d gotten injured she’d been avoiding the staircase. 

You opened the door, hand pausing on the cold metal doorknob for a split second before pushing it open. 

Your room was still freezing, you didn’t miss how your mother shivered from the breeze that hit her face immediately, coming straight from the open window. 

“Jesus kiddo, you trying to replicate antarctica in here? You know I pay good money for heating, right?”

It’s a lighthearted joke, yet somehow it hurts for you, you don’t know how or why, you just know that it does. 

“I like it cold.”

Leah looks at you, both brows furrowed inwards. 

“Alright then polar bear.”

You try not to flinch away when her hand reaches up to ruffle your hair, it’s something she’s done to you since you were a kid, it feels wrong now though. 

“Let’s just get this over and done with.”

You walk over to your windowsill, reaching behind the curtain and reaching for the bag of joints that you have stashed behind the material. Leah frowns as you walk back over to her, shoving the bag into her hands before she can even ask. 

“This is all of them?”

She looks completely unconvinced, you probably would be too, most kids don’t give up their drugs willingly. 

“Yes.”

Leah looks at you, eye to eye, like she’s trying to reach into your soul, or read your mind. 

“Bubba, this is your chance, I’m giving you an opportunity to be straight with me, and whatever you tell me or give me I won’t be mad about. I might want to sit down and question your decisions, but I won’t be mad. Teenagers are stupid, they make mistakes, they try new things, I get it. Be honest with me bubba, please.”

You didn’t really know what Leah was insinuating, but it was clear that she knew there was a bigger picture here. 

“That’s it mom.”

You had to tear your eyes away from her, you couldn’t handle the way that she was looking at you, the mix of disappointment, resentment and worry mixed into her blue irises. 

“Bubba, don’t make me search your room, don’t make me have to ground you, don’t make me have to call Jord and get her to turn the car around to help me out.”

You brought your eyes back to Leah’s. 

“That’s it mom, I don’t know what you want me to tell you, I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

You were lying through your teeth and the fact you couldn’t look eye to eye with Leah would have been enough of a warning sign of that. 

“Drugs bubba, that’s what I’m talking about, you’re lying straight to my fucking face right now, I don’t know what about or why but you are.”

You didn’t know what to say, you weren’t going to admit it, you couldn’t, but you needed to say something. Fuck, you were so fucked. 

You tried to spin it in your head, tried to think about how you could make this work out. You were caught, you were done, this was bad. 

Your eyes darted to below your bed, rookie fucking mistake. 

Leah caught your line of sight, and you knew as soon as she did that it was all about to go to fucking shit, that you were done for. 

“Lia.”

Your mom’s voice was urgent, a yell that had the swiss woman bounding up the stairs in a matter of seconds. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

You were so fucking fucked. 

You were frozen in your spot, your mom’s eyes looking at you like she’d just been stabbed in the heart. 

“Bubba, you can get whatever you are hiding from me or I will get Lia to tear this whole room a part, I’m not fucking around.”

You felt torn down the middle, your brain couldn’t think, you felt the same sickness sink in from this morning, instead of it being withdrawals from drugs though it was the realisation that your whole life was about to be turned upside down. 

You tried to think, tried to think about how you could spin this, make it a little bit better than it really was. 

Lia looked more uncomfortable then possible, you wished a blackhole would randomly pop up and swallow all three of you. 

Something hit you, it wasn’t a full resolution but it was better than what you currently had going for you. 

You walked over to your bed, with unsteadier legs then last night when you were so drunk the world was spinning, crouching down when you got to the edge, feeling for the familiar container that held all of your deepest darkest secrets, or at least that’s how it felt. 

It took you back to a time when you’d made Leah check under your bed everynight for the monsters under your bed, now though she was looking for the monsters in your head, the monsters that had turned her little perfect girl into whatever you were now. 

Your hand eventually met the hard plastic, you pulled it out, biting down on the inside of your cheek as you stood up and sat down on the edge of your bed. 

Leah took a couple steps closer to you, standing directly in front of you. 

“Look, it’s not mine, I only did it twice, my friends bought it over, I swear.”

Half of it was true. 

“Open the box, bubba.”

You felt your throat tighten, you felt like you were going to vomit, or pass out, or have a heart attack. 

“Mom, I didn’t want to, I don’t even like it, I just did it because my friends were, I swear.”

It was also another half truth. 

“Bubba, open the box.”

You bit down even harder on the inside of your cheek, reaching for the edge of the plastic box and opening it, revealing the two baggies of white powder inside of it. 

Leah’s face fell, in a way that you’d never seen, you’d seen her disappointed before, this wasn’t it, it was something else entirely and you weren’t sure what. 

“Bubba.”

Your mom was a overly emotional person, you couldn’t handle her crying right now though, you couldn’t do it, you couldn’t deal with her pretending she gave a shit when this was the first time in months that it felt like she cared, and it was all because of Jordan, not on her own volition. 

“I swear mom, I swear, it’s not mine, I promise.”

It wasn’t a lie, it hadn’t started out as yours, you’re friends had left it behind after a weekend hangout and had never asked for it back, so it technically wasn’t yours, technically. 

“Bubba, what is it?”

Leah reached for the box, picking up the two bags, the bags that you felt like held your whole life together. 

“Cocaine, it’s just a little bit of coke, my friends were using it before parties, I didn’t like it, it made me feel dizzy and it hurt my head.”

The cocaine bit was a lie, but the fact you didn’t like cocaine wasn’t, it was the kind of stimulant which put you into over drive, the high lasted no where near as long and it made you feel like you weren’t making sense.

You were hoping she would believe the cocaine, inevitably, cocaine was a pissy drug. Leah would have been at thousands of parties were cocaine was handed around, hell, you were fairly certain your mother had taken plenty of it. Cocaine was less addictive, good cocaine was also stupidly expensive, the value of it was fucked. Meth was cheap but a thousand times more addictive, cocaine was a better like. 

“Lia, get rid of it.”

Your mom handed the bag of joints over to Lia, as well as the bags of drugs, shoving them into her hands like they were burning her hands. “I don’t even know what to say to you bubba.”

Your mom looked genuinely at a loss for words, her eyes kept darting between your eyes and your hands, which were shaking in front of you. 

“Mom, I promise, it was only a one time thing, really, I was just keeping it for my friends.”

As soon as the tears started spilling down Leah’s face you knew it was about to get bad. 

She walked over to your desk, pulling the chair out from it and dragged it across the room until it was directly in front of you, your mother taking a seat. 

Her hands came out to rest on your knees, they were shaking like yours, not as badly but still shaking, though for different reasons you assumed. 

“You told me the weed was a one time thing, that was a lie. I don’t know what to believe anymore, you’ve put me in a impossible situation, bubba. On one hand, I want to believe you. I want to believe the kid I raised, on the other hand you haven’t given me reason to. You broke my trust, you lied to me, you broke the house rules. I don’t ask a lot of you, I let you get away with more than your ma would let you, and I was fine with it because you were showing me you were a good kid, but now I honestly don’t know what to think. You told me it was just the vapes, I thought you were using a little bit to much nicotine and now it turns out that you’re smoking pot and doing drugs. You’ve been hiding and lying and I just don’t get why. Why bubba? Tell me why.”

Big tears were dripping from your mothers eyes, big, wet, fat tears pooling in her icey blue eyes. 

“I don’t know, okay? I’m sorry mom, I’m really sorry. I’m sorry. I love you, I didn’t mean it, it was just some fun, it was a one time thing, I promise.”

Leah pursed her lips, the same way you were, the sleeve of her shirt was pressed to her face, picking up the tears that were dripping down her jaw. 

“I’m going to go and call your ma, this is a discussion we need to be having together, I need her here for this.”

Little did they know how bad it really was. 

Leah stood up, you thought she would just leave, heading back down to make a call to your ma that would inevitably change your life, instead, she sat down next to you, her arms opening up. 

You leaned into her side, letting her wrap both of her arms around you. 

“I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry.”

It was the only thing you could think of saying, the only thing that sounded right coming off the tip of your tongue. 

“I love you so much my beautiful girl, we’ll figure this out, your ma and I, we’re all going to figure this out.”

Leah held onto you for a little bit longer, her arms tightening onto you like you were holding her down to earth, like she would float away if she didn’t. 

Eventually she let go, her face was puffy and red, her sleeves were red and she sounded all sniffly. 

“I’m going to go and phone Jord, we’re going to sort it all out, we’ll figure this out, okay? We’re both here for you, we both love you so much, you’re our little girl.”

You found it weird how easy it slipped off of her tongue, you wondered if she actually believed that she meant it, you wondered if when your mother said it that she meant it without really meaning it. There were words but there were no actions to support those words, just empty syllables and letters all formed together in a intricate lie. 

You watched as Leah limped her way out of your room, her bad leg trailing behind her good one, rule number one of parenting a child you now know is drug addicted, never leave them alone in a room they can escape from when you’ve just confronted them. 

[cwritesforfun]

Thunderbolts Headcanon - Going To A Gala As Their Date

Valentina saw photos of you and one of the members out in the city, thought it looked like you were dating, and so she wanted to show the world what a cute superhero couple you were. EXCEPT, you were never dating them to begin with. AND, you’re both crushing on each other.

Includes: Bucky, Bob, Walker

Y/N = Your Name

*I do not own the Thunderbolts characters*

Masterlist

Bucky

Bucky had considered you his best friend when Steve went back in time and grew old without him. He was lost without Steve, and then he found you. You had joined the team before the Infinity War and were often helping with the technology. He found himself drawn to your presence and you even stayed with him in Wakanda. One to be with him and two to learn about their technology. When he moved back to the States, it only made sense that you became his assistant and helped him in his role as a Congressman. You were the only one who could help him and understand him, as well as you could. He found himself longing for moments alone with you in the office even if he still hadn't told you how he felt. Joining Bucky with the Thunderbolts felt right to him. He knew your strength and worked well with you.

When Valentina told you that you two were to be the "superhero couple," you couldn't say you were even shocked that you were chosen. Yelena always said you and Bucky were the Mom & Dad of the team. Alexei didn't like hearing that, haha! The others agreed with Yelena and Bucky got all blushy when she would say it in front of the both of you. Yelena also told you that Bucky like liked you and you realized that you needed to finally tell him about your feelings for him.

You're putting the final touches on your makeup, and you hear a knock, before you say, "Come in!" Bucky walks into your room dressed in a freshly tailored suit that makes your jaw drop. Literally. You exclaim, "Wow, Bucky, you should be in a suit more often. It looks good." He blushes a little, turns his head slightly, and says, "Thank you, Y/N. You saw me in suits for Congress, how is this different?" You glance up at him from your vanity and answer, "Now that we're dating for the media's attention." He leans against the wall next to you and says, "Yeah, that's why I came in here a little early. I figured we should talk strategy for tonight." You turn to him and say, "Very well. What are you thinking?" He answers, "Um... I guess we should hold hands." You stand up and take his hands before saying, "Okay, anything else? ... Is there anything I should do that you'd like from a girlfriend?" He looks down at your hands and replies, "I um... I am good with whatever you do... And you don't have to hold my metal hand if you don't want to." You reply, "Why wouldn't I? It's a very important part of you. To not embrace it would be like pretending I only care for half of you-- and I don't. I like all of you, scars, steel, and soul included." You watch as he blushes and replies, "Ok." You ask, "Is that all you have to say, Bucky? I've never seen you blushy. It's cute." He rests his head on your shoulder and answers, "Stop before I kiss you." You say, "Then do it, I'll kiss back." He moves his face close to yours and leans in to kiss you, for the first time. You never forget the first kiss with the love of your life.

The team knew something had changed between the two of you from the moment they saw your blushing grins at each other. And those grins didn't stop. No one had seen Bucky like that. And your hands didn't leave each other's the whole night. Even for bedtime.

Bob

Bob was drawn to you when he first met you because he could see the sadness in your eyes and yet, you were very strong and powerful. He thought by sticking by you, he could learn a thing or two. And then when Sentry was fighting everyone, he hesitated before hurting you. Neither of you wished to hurt the other. You could hurt the Void though. You didn't like that the Void hurt Bob.

Living at the Avengers Tower was new for your team. Bob was your next-door neighbor, and you two even had a door connecting your rooms. You were a night owl and often found yourself hanging out with him until he fell asleep... However, more times than not, you usually fell asleep in each other's beds. The team kept pushing you two together because they could tell you both liked each other and that it was good for Bob to have a positive relationship in his life. Bob often waited for you when you got home from missions near the plane, so you could hang out immediately when you returned. He also would get extremely nervous when he was alone with you because he had the biggest crush on you, and he thought you were perfect, so he would stumble over his words a lot. He would often pace on the other side of your shared door, worried that he would bother you if he walked in. He did the same outside your office door downstairs. You knew he did it. You could hear him from your bedroom, and you saw him on the cameras watching your office. You thought it was cute that he didn't want to bother you. He could never bother you, which you told him repeatedly.

When Valentina showed you photos of your grocery shop with Bob, you were shocked someone invaded your privacy, and Valentina told you to get over it. And then, when she said you two were to be a "superhero couple" for the press for the upcoming gala, you could see the panic in Bob's eyes. And yet you both agreed.

Following the conversation, you pulled Bob and walked to your room. You both sit on the couch, and you exclaim, "Bob, talk to me. You look very shaken by Valentina's request." He replies, "I just don't want to pull you into my mess." You reach out to take his hand and ask, "Why not? Caring for someone means accepting their chaos, not just their calm." He blushes a little and says, "You should be with one of the other guys. I could ask to switch places with someone. I'm sure you'd rather someone else." You reply, "I would prefer you, Bob." He asks, "Really?" You press a light kiss to his cheek and answer, "Really, really." He smiles and asks, "What about um... that guy that flirts with you at the coffee shop we go to on Sundays?" You ask, "What about him?" He asks, "Wouldn't you rather date him?" You answer, "No, I wouldn't. I don't like him like that." He asks, "But you ... you like me like that?" You answer, "Yeah, I do. I really like you." He smiles and replies, "I like you a lot, too." You both sit on your couch, chatting the rest of the day. It seems to ease his worries about this whole thing.

Bob goes shopping for dresses with you and you go with him to pick a matching suit.

The day of the gala arrives, and Bob is missing. You had been out on a mission until the morning, and Ava told you that Bob was refusing to hang out with anyone. He apparently seemed edgy and a little lost. You were worried about him. What happened while you were away?

In moments where he’s like this, you often find him in the corner or the dark side of a room. You look at your security cameras and find him in your office curled on the couch. You let the team know that you'll take care of it, and you go to your office.

You knock on your office door before gently pushing it open. You see Bob lying there, and you kneel next to him. You place your hand on his and ask, "Bob, love, what is wrong?" Bob answers, "I was scared that I could lose you. And scared of the gala without you. Scared of what I could do and if I hurt you if we continued to date." You reply, "But I'm not scared of you, love. I promise. I also am here, and you don't need to face anything alone… why were you in my office?” He answers, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have walked in without your permission. I just missed you, and your room was too sad for me at the time. I needed a room that felt like you, but also that the rest of the team wouldn’t invade.” You reply, “You can always wait in my office for me. I don’t mind you walking in at all. I’m glad you like my space.” He replies, “Thank you. Thank you for being you and being so kind.” You press a light kiss to his cheek and reply, “Of course. And thank you for being the sweetest boyfriend.” He lightly smiles and sits up slowly. You move from your position to sit next to him on the couch. You ask, “Why did you push away the team? They care about you, too.” He answers, “I just… they wouldn’t tell me if you were okay. They looked at me like I was annoying and lovesick. It felt like they didn't want me to know about you, which made me more worried. I thought something bad happened to you.” You reply, "You're so cute. If they were annoyed, it's because they find it annoying that we're dating and we're happy. So who cares? And, next time, just check the flight pattern in the system. There's a camera where you can see us, and you can see how far we are. It would ease your worries. I can show you how to access it on my computer." He nods and replies, "Thank you."

We get ready together, watch a movie in fancy clothes, and then it's gala time!

The gala is fancy. There is a lot of gold, similar to the shade of Sentry's outfit. Valentina introduces you two to people, but you pull Bob away to dance. You're sick of her fake personality, and you want to check in with Bob to make sure he's not overwhelmed.

As you wrap your arms around Bob's neck, you ask, "How are you doing tonight?" He answers, "It's not as bad as I thought it would be." You reply, "Well, then, I'm glad. I wanted you to have a nice time." He replies, "As long as I'm with you, everything is okay." You smile.

Walker

He's been divorced for two years and he thinks he's ready to get back out in the dating world. Except the only one who he's interested in is his coworker, Y/N. She could defeat him in battle in 2 minutes and it terrifies him. How could he date someone more powerful? But at the same time, why did that attract him a lot? Y/N, however, found Walker annoying because he always went on about how his life sucked and how he used to be Captain America but now he’s not. He doesn’t shut up about his woes.

Valentina storms in during breakfast that Walker made (you’re shocked that it’s pretty good) and he’s next to you gobbling it down. She tells your team that she needs a superhero couple. She says she needs it for press reasons and it would make you all look better. Walker exclaims, “I volunteer Y/N and I.” And before you can object, Valentina starts discussing what is expected of you two for the upcoming gala. Wtf did Walker get you into?

After Valentina leaves, you sit there thinking… why did Walker get you into this sh**!!?!?? He could have chosen Ava or Yelena!!! Tf?!?!

You look up from where you’re sitting at the table, and you see only Yelena in the room. She is eating cereal and staring at you. That's not unusual for her. You ask, “Where did Walker go?” She answers, “I don’t know. He ran away looking scared of you, though.” You reply, “He should be scared of me. I wanna punch him in the face!” She yells, “That’s my girl! Get him!”

You nod and walk out of the room. You check his room, his office, and the living room. You find Bob who mentions that Walker was headed toward the gym. You should have known. He wants to be more fit than the rest of the team. But he couldn’t take any of you down if he tried. Well… maybe? Honestly you haven’t seen him give 100% in any fight recently.

You walk through the gym doorway and see Walker punching bags. You walk over and exclaim, “I hear it’s more fun to punch a person.” Walker throws another punch at a bag and says, “I can’t punch Valentina. She is the only one I’d punch.” You ask, “Really? Well, you seemed so excited about her plan for a superhero couple. You even nominated us.” He answers, “Right. I did do that.” You ask, “Could you please look at me so we can talk? This is annoying.” He stops moving, faces you, and stares into your eyes. His eyes are pretty, but you’d never tell him. His ego may explode. You ask, “Why did you nominate us to be the superhero couple? I want to understand why you did what you did.” He asks, “Aw, you care what I think?” You lightly shove him and say, “Yes, and shut up, just answer my question. Please.” He sighs and exclaims, “Fine. I guess I panicked. I knew she would pick two people to date if someone didn’t volunteer. And who would volunteer to fake date? I couldn’t think of who would answer. So I quickly said you and I… I guess I chose you because I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with you.” You scoff and reply, “You wouldn’t mind dating me. Wow, you sound so overjoyed. Wtf! I can’t believe you got us into this! Still!” He replies, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I know it’s not an excuse, but I just get nervous around you… I wouldn’t mind because, well, I like you a lot. And I really want to date you, for real. I promise I’m not lying… I actually recently decided that I wanted to date again. And I want it to be with you.” You reply, “If we date, you need to learn that pretty eyes won’t save you.” He steps forward gently and replies, “Pretty eyes, huh?” You ask, “Is that all you got out of that?” He answers, “That and I find it very attractive how powerful and in charge you are… and you said if we date. So there’s hope for me.” You reply, “Shut up,” before you press your lips to his.

The gala goes … actually pretty well. You dance with Walker a lot, and he's very well-mannered. It's very unlike him, so you try making little jokes to get him to lighten up. He smiles a lot at you, and you catch him watching you a lot. When you point it out, he just says you're perfect to him. Very flirty and flattering!

Which one did you like best?

Masterlist

[hinge]

Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co

[amethystfairy1]

🎉 Happy New Years! 🎉

It's been a loooong year so I figured I may as well make a post about it, as well as talk a bit about my plans for 2025! As you know, I tend to ramble, so this got a little long, and maybe sounds a little too much like an Oscars acceptance speech...whoopsie 😅...but from the bottom of my heart I genuinely just felt like I needed to get all these emotions that were emotion-ing today thinking about the New Year out for those of you who have played a part in giving them to me.

If you have a few minutes, please do give it a read through!

The Mushy Stuff:

Firstly, and most importantly beyond a doubt, I want to thank everyone who's been so incredibly kind and supportive of my writing this past year! Every kudos, comment, like, follow, ask, all of them have been treasured by me!

I've had a very difficult year. As I've mentioned before, I'm a full-time masters student. I also work a nearly full-time job on top of that. And while I don't like my blog to have anything to do with my train wreck of an irl life this year, let's just say it hasn't been great...lots of stuff went down, lots of things went wrong, so on and so forth.

Point is, my tippy taps have been crucial to my mental health. I started TTSBC, literally posted the first story 'Pretty Boy' on my very first day as a grad student, sitting there in the office with the knowledge that between school, work, and things happening in my own life, and I'd be having a really rough couple of years to get this degree done.

I finish in May, and I feel confident with my work, I'm ahead of the curve, I'm doing well, and I think that's in no small part because of my tippy taps. These AUs, the writing challenges, the amazing friends I've made and the little community that's somehow decided for whatever reason to form around my obsession with the block people, they've been a very big part of what's kept me going through all of this.

Knowing I could count on people to read my work, to enjoy it, that I could give someone out there something to relate too or even just make them smile if they were feeling as shitty as I was, that made me feel better. It's been so, so important to me.

So thank you. Thank you for following Through the Sky-Blue Cracks and Traveling Thieves. Thank you for screaming over my Whumptober and Febuwhump collections. Thank you for following me, for chasing me and my thoughtful Batman gif around in the asks, for playing along with my goofy-ass side blog, for commenting and kudos-ing and somehow materializing the instant a chapter goes up even before I post the tumblr notif. It means a lot more than I think any words I could come up with would convey.

I also really really really want to thank my Tinted Glass crew!

@silver-sunray This is all your fault. You started this 😤 And by that I mean you made these AUs and me screaming into the void alone so much more than that. It's because of you that I started to fight the fear, scuttle out of my shell and start actually trying to talk to others in this little online sphere. Your incredible work on the Beyond project and now in helping with my side blog and all our other plans and projects mean the world to me! You always have so much spunk and confidence whenever any ideas pop up that I suddenly feel like it's so much more is achievable thanks too you. I'm so very happy you reached out to me this year and I know so much that I've done with my writing wouldn't have happened without you 💖

@boo-the-ahh you're just the sweetest! You always make everything feel so light even when things are complicated or heavy, and you don't even know it! I love getting to work with you on the podfics and our other projects we've been plotting! You're always so full of energy and enthusiasm and encouragement that makes me feel like I can come up with the most whack-ass idea and you'll just back me up, and that's absolutely amazing! I'm so happy you reached out to me and started podficcing for me! Your work is incredible! You put in so much effort, your final products are always so beautifully polished and you always go the extra mile even when it makes things trickier. I admire that so much! And I apologize in advance for the sheer amount of my writing you're probably doomed to have to read out loud in the coming year 😅

@khoirkid You're just a marvel, in my opinion, which I know you don't share but shhhhhhhh. You come up with masterpieces at the drop of a hat, and the fact that you are willing to draw my whack-ass lil guys is still just unfathomable to me. You're always so easy to talk too and down to earth, and you're so creative and imaginative with how you weave symbols into your art with different imagery and color! I feel like half the time the stuff you come up with is so articulate and amazing that it goes over my head, but that's fine! 😆 You're so knowledgable and you have a perspective on things that helps me think things through. I love getting to work with you and I'm so very grateful for all the gorgeous illustrations, and for all the time you've given to me that's made me feel a little less alone.

All three of y'all are just so cool and supportive and talented that most of the time I don't get why you're hanging out over here and giving so much of your time and energy to these projects of mine, but I'm forever grateful that I have you as my friends. So thank you. 💜

Plans for 2025:

Ok, now that I've gotten my emotions all emotion-ed out, let's talk a little bit about my plans for the New Year!

Of course I'll still be continuing TTSBC and TT! No doubt about it! There's big things happening in both the AUs, and I'm so very excited to share them with everyone!

I'll be finishing my degree in May...to be perfectly honest, I'm still unsure of how much of a workload I'm gonna end up having academically this last semester, so I think I'll just say that if updates slow down a bit, just assume Amethyst is drowning under piles of revisions doused in red ink and a bunch of reference texts and papers due to be graded. I promise I'm not gonna just stop tippy tapping! I don't think my brain would be able to handle it if I did 😅

As far as some of the typical challenges go, I will not be participating in Febuwhump this year. I wish I could, but I know I'll definitely have too much going on academically to commit to another writing challenge...also I think Whumptober almost killed both Khoir and I, and we don't need to be doing that again anytime soon 😵‍💫 I'm still gonna check out the prompt list, and if I see a few prompts that I find particularly intriguing maybe I'll write those up, and do a few of the days, but I won't be doing the full writing challenge.

Jury is still out on Hermit-a-Day May, which I'm hopeful will be running again this year! I'd love to do it, but I'll have to make that later, once I know for certain how my workload is feeling since I'll be doing my final revisions, my defense, all that good stuff in late April, which is when I'd typically be working up my fics for Hermit-a-Day May.

I will be doing Whumptober. No questions about it!

I have a few other Hermit/Traffic/Empires fanfic projects on the back burner that I'm working on here or there whenever I need to take a lil break from TTSBC and TT. One of them is a project that all of the Tinted Glass Crew is working on together, and while I don't wanna give spoilers, I'll just say that it's going to be a ton of fun! It's unlike any other AU or one-off I've ever done before, and even just brainstorming it has been incredible so please look forward to it!

I also have my original series. Which...I haven't talked about, not really. I'm pretty nervous about putting it out there, to be honest, but it's my baby and I've been working on it for over four years now. It's written in a similar style to TTSBC and TT, that is, focused on queer romance and found family in a ton of stories all organized in chronological order and written up and down on a timeline. One of my big hopes for this year is to finally share this series. I dunno where yet, or when...it'll definitely wait until after I finish my degree in May, that much is for certain, but I suppose I just wanted to prime everyone. The Tinted Glass Crew has already been so amazingly kind as to agree to help me find a way to get this story that's so dear to me out to all of y'all someway somehow...and I'm confident if I have those guys on my team we'll figure it out! 😅

I hope, if you've enjoyed TTSBC and TT and any of my other work, you'll at least give my original blorbos a shot whenever they are freed from their little cage in my notebooks and save files. They're not so different from the way I write my MCYT characters, they're a bunch of big gay idiots with personality issues, a ton of tangled up secrets, and more trauma than you can shake a stick at...and they're mine, which means I really like to put them through the wringer. 😆 But after everything I've done over this past year and even further back here on this blog, on A03, and in this little community, I feel like maybe they might find themselves a home in at least some of your hearts...or maybe just piss you off with their poor life decisions and accidentally give you brainrot, who knows.

Anyway, this has been a lot. Sorry I tend to ramble...all of this is just to say thank you. I had a lot of fun this year, getting to share my stories with all of you, and I hope you'll continue to support me as I tippy tap my way into the New Year!

-Amethyst

[pixl-place]

rereading aftg for like the millionth time but i’ve seen a lot of neil characterization discourse on here lately and i just wanna throw some of my thoughts out into the void

one thing i find so interesting is that there are multiple times when one of the foxes or Wymack asks Neil something along the lines of “are you stupid” and he says yes. one of the first things we find out about Neil is that he knows signing with the foxes is a bad idea but he does it anyways. i think this little detail about him is so important because it gives more depth to all the choices he makes that the even the reader is nudged to believe are “stupid”. even when he lays out his plans perfectly to the reader we are still supposed to go “well that’s a dumb plan that’s never gonna work” but i think part of Neil makes these crazy ass plans on purpose because they will work and they almost always do to some extent. he knows what he’s doing is conveniently unwise but he’s calculated the exact steps he can take within that “stupidity” to survive. he also knows how he’s going to be perceived and lets people think this is just part of his personality to add realness to the fake persona! i feel like yall don’t give him enough credit sometimes. yeah he’s a little crazy and feral bitch which is why he and Andrew get along but their main difference and part of why i think they don’t get along at first is because Andrew takes risks first and figures out how to clean them up later whereas Neil has all the steps laid out in his head and waits for whatever to wrap back around to him so he has time to figure that out too. he’s a really smart boy! so much of his character is really complex and goes beyond surface level but i think people take a lot of it at face value. they see his silly mouthing off to reporters and forget that he literally was running away from mobsters for years and watching his mom have to find ways to outsmart them

[luckykiwiii101]

Hi Wii!! 💖

It's finally my turn. My own void success story💕💕. ahhh i'm so happy! This is kind of long so sorry for that.

So, just for a back story, I have been terminally ill for a while now. I was always in pain and even after discovering subliminals 5 years ago i was never fully 'able' to get rid of my illness. But then I came across the void state one day on tiktok while looking through shifting methods and instantly knew that it was for me. The thought of it genuinely made me so happy and not in like a 'i'll get all my desires' way but in like a 'ofc i can give myself whatever I want.' way. But i kinda fell down a rabit hole on tumblr and really put the void on a pedestal that i had to 'pass' in order to get anything😔.

But then, a few weeks ago, it really clicked. I did one of those 3-day challenges (i didn't follow anyone elses, just made up my own routine and stuck to it.) and it helped tremendously both with my self concept and void concept. i know these aren't really important but they sure help lol.

Anyway i didn't get in the void in those 3 days but i realised that instead of hating not waking up in the void, my thought process was just ''well, i'm getting closer aren't I?" and i honestly caught myself off guard with that🎀🎀.

But then last night, i got ready for bed and went to sleep. But I kept waking up in the middle of the night because it was kinda hot. Anyway, i had a holiday from school so I was gonna sleep in.

My sister had to go to school tho and we share a room so when she wakes up, i usually do as well just because of all the rustling. She opened the light to our room and i felt a faint light infront of my eyes. I couldn't hear her then for a while but I just assumed that was because she left the room. Then my hearing came back and she was asking me about smth so i opened my eyes but noticed that the 'source' of the light i felt while my eyes were closed was different to which light was open in the room(I really hope that made sense). I then realised that it took awhile for me to properly feel my body again and thats when i realized i was in the void- aware- for once!! 💗💗

I honestly wasn't surprised that I woke up in the void without doing anything because I have full faith in myself but it has really helped me make my belief in the void even stronger. I have a whole list of things i want to get so when i get in the void again tonight, I'm gonna affirm for all my desires!! Wait for my full success story please 💖💖

Also, to all the people out there, i know it's hard but all you genuinely need to do is trust yourself and your power, remember you are The Creator.

Thanks again Wii, you've been great help.

(btw, so sorry for any typos, english is not my first language😔)

Success Story ✨✨✨✨💗💗💗

This is truly amazing!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! AND EVEN MORE PROUD THAT YOU ACTUALLY TOOK YOUR LIFE INTO YOUR OWN HANDS!!! MORE PEOPLE SHOULD BE LIKE YOU!!!

[youweregreatinthere]

It's for the better

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary:

It takes a few rooms, but Bucky knows where he is now. The void. Looking for those he loves.

Out of all of the possible rooms he could've stumbled into, he didn't expect to find the one he loves like this.

Warning/tags: angst, no comfort, short one shot, Bucy's POV

A/N: I have not written anything in years but I cannot stop thinking about Thunderbolts so here I am, feeling very stable and normal, crossposted to ao3

Fic:

It's dark...Okay, Bucky was expecting that. What he didn't expect was the quiet. None of his top 10 in the "shameful memories" category starts with this level of silence, so he starts poking into those memories that even he doesn't want to delve into trying to figure out where he is - and more importantly how to get out.

Then he hears it, that sniffle - no amount of drinks or "heroic missions" could wipe it from his memory. It sinks in, he knows where he is, he knows what he's about to hear. He's shoved back into the mindset of that day and steels himself for the inevitable.

"What do you mean it's for the better? That's absolute bullshit, and you know it too!" God, he had managed to hide the break in her voice in his memories, but he couldn't shrink away from it now, not here. He knows what's coming next, and even he is hoping that this Bucky says something different, something less painful.

"I meant what I said, whatever happens to me, I know it's for the better. None of this is important to me, it never was! I'm wasting my own time; I have more important things to do." That cruel past Bucky says in his cold, metal voice he swore would never be used again. He wants to jump out from his hidden alcove, wants to scream that he was lying and regrets every second of this conversation, but even now he knows this was the only option. He had too much on the line, too many people coming after him. It was scary to have something - no someone - mean so much to him and leave him so vulnerable; more importantly, it was dangerous. If anyone ever found out about her, she would only become a pawn in their games, just like he was. He had long accepted his fate, he knew the part he played and the outcome that awaited him, but he would destroy the galaxies before he forced her into the same outcome. She had an entire life ahead of her, and he knew she was destined for big things, amazing things.

"I know you think you're doing the right thing. I know in your head this is the only way to keep me away from you. I know you think the only way your story ends is young and fiery. But that's not true, none of it has ever been true! I am my own person, and I make my own decisions - you are my decision! Why won't you listen to me? You can't treat me like this and believe that you're the party wronged by the universe here. Everyone is wronged by the universe! I don't know if my story ends badly or if it ends when I'm 103 years old, I only care that you are in it until then. I wish you would listen and let yourself believe... I can wish all that I want, but it won't bring us together, will it?" And that monologue has stuck with Bucky since that day so long ago. It haunts him in his nightmares and invades his mind when he's awake. He's never been able to get away from it, because he knows. He knows he took the easy way out. Never seeing her smile or seeing her grow old was the easy way out because the only other option was to see her suffer at HIS expense. There are so many things he regrets, but he can't bring himself to regret this. It was hard, and he'll always feel the shame of lying and selfishness, but none of that compares to how it would feel to lose her.

This next part was the final nail in the coffin, "Fine Bucky, who am I to ask for more? You want to make your choice? Go ahead! I'll leave, meet someone new eventually, and be happier than I can imagine, but only if you can say it again while actually looking me in the eye." The silence says more than Bucky ever could, "Yeah, that's what I thought," she spoke with finality between quiet sniffles.

He knows he can't see her face like that or hear the last thing she says to Bucky - not if he wants to finish the mission, if he wants to find the ones he has to hold onto now.

He can only think to whisper a final "I'm sorry" before he has to burst through her door that he never thought he'd see again and experience the next horror that awaits him.

[saxandviolins77]

Transformers Skybound #19 and #20 spoilers below cut

ISSUE #19

I was going to talk about issue #19 last month, but what do you know? I had literally nothing of value to add, especially since I'm behind on Void Rivals (sorry, Kirkman) so I know shit about Quintessons in this continuity. Anyway, this story reads more like an intermission; not that this is bad, but there's nothing really meaty here. Well, I guess I have SOME thoughts, soooo.... Bullet point format...?

Ooooh yeah, the trait of Megatron having the need to have the upper hand even in situations where he is at another being's mercy is actually one of my favorite things about him (Movie.) I can't be the only person who thinks Megatron's autopreservation and fear (eh) of being controlled are actually important to his character, right? I'm a "Megatron was built by the Constructicons" believer, so take that as you will.

Evil Matrix of Control (that's the tyranny) AND good Matrix of Freedom ("freedom is the right of all YOU KNOW HOW THIS GOES).

Tank Megatron :(

Megatron loving his planet? Yessir!

Symbolic representation of forced suicide. Whatevs.

Isn't it ironic how Megatron gained his ability to control others through the loss of his own bodily autonomy and against his own volition? He's like, a tool, a tool you wieeeeld???? Yeah.

That was fun. (he says, with a blank look of indifference in his face.)

ISSUE #20

Ok, the one people are actually talking about.

You get your ass kicked for ten minutes and are already asking for him to kill you?? I could be charitable and pretend this is character writing, but like, no.

"WILL YOU PRAY FOR MEEEE WHEN I'M GOOOONE?? OR IS THIS THE ETERNAL DARK WITHOUT A DAAAAAWN?!"

Uh, I mean.

Wow, a Cybertronian getting captured by a human facility? Feeling bold today, aren't we?

Ok, jk jk, I really want to see Mags' PTSD explored. Hopefully.

JAZZ BACKSHOTS 🙌🙌🙌🙌

I liked this scene. I liked how DWJ didn't forget about the grief Spike must've been feeling. Or the grief he didn't have time to feel due to the... Giant robots.

I like Skybound Optimus. And I like how, despite being THAT guy, he still has moments of vulnerability and doubt (lots of it, actually).

Looks like someone was reading the tech specs/biographies before writing.

Brooooo, you can't just say that. Now we know they have a target on their backs.

Dada. Papa. Pops. Dad. Father.

Foreshadowing.... In the shadows! Wow.

Ohhh, we're gonna have an E.T. scene, right? Carly meets her old van, and Shredhead meets her. Bridge between Cybertronians and humans. (That's my pitch.)

Very convenient.

Did he bring Scavenger along too? Like, yk, Microbots. That's my HC.

SCRAPPER HAS A LINE OF DIALOGUE. WE WON. WE WON!!!

Foreshadowing or just a throwaway line? Place your bets.

Dude, you're adorable.

I haven't said this because I'm busy joshing around, but I really like this Megatron. He's very different from other incarnations of him, and I'm all for it. He's cold and calculating, but he clearly has a code of honor and actually cares for his subjects. I like him.

Also, one more Starscream abuse scene for the franchise.

they faces killing me why nobody gaf

Despite not being into this Starscream or his dynamic with Megatron. I can say that in the context of this universe and this issue, this scene was very well done and honestly kind of gut-wrenching.

I'm a little bit worried about Starscream's character from now on. Will he just dissipate into the background? 'Cause there's clearly no space for their common G1 Sunbow bickering.

Scrapper (thinking): "Fuck... Did I remember to turn the oven off back at the base?"

That's it?

DWJ has been building this shit up since issue fucking #8 for this cockblocking move? Not even a name drop? Like, I don't want to complain just so DWJ can pull the rug out from under my feet and make my chin DROP in the next few issues. But the only reaction I had from seeing this was a deeeeeep sigh of disappointment. Like, what a wet fart. I wouldn't mind it that much if he hadn't teased us for so long.

[theallianceofcelestials]

Hello! I remember an ask you answered awhile back, where they asked about Solarflare’s mouth/how it ate. I don’t remember exactly what you said, but I do remember that you had said Solarflare hid its mouth from Eclipse.

I was wondering, could I perhaps have a small drabble of how Eclipse would react to seeing Flare’s mouth for the first time? (Sorry if this is weird, my curiosity has me in a chokehold)

Hoi! :>

Solar Flare has a real nightmarish mouth. Those little vents that open along its face are actually part of it, and that's the part that splits open to reveal multiple rows of teeth and pitch blackness. He's really self-conscious about it, which is why Eclipse will never see it. So this lil drabble isn't even soft canon like how some of the other ones can be lol (also I don't think it's weird)

Eclipse is tired as shit. This has been a ridiculously long day. Despite this being his day off

It's already a real great precedent for tomorrow.

Next to him Solar Flare is staring ahead of themselves in sheer tiredness, eyelights in a perpetual tired cant. He doesn't know if they're still computing the real world or if they're already half asleep.

Somehow he still doesn't honestly expect its face to just split open

Curiousity, like always, gets the better of him, especially because his brother always did his best to hide its mouts from him, so he peers closer. He kind of wishes he didn't.

It's mouth is jagged in a way he's never seen before, the middle separators of the vents being fangs coming from the top of its mouth, while the ones towards the corner of their mouth are fangs growing from the bottom. His mouth is for some reason pitch black, with no light piercing through the darkness in there. Which makes the occasional glint of teeth all the more menacing. He can see multiple rows of sharp teeth going to the back of their mouth, covering the entirety of its mouth. Except for the sleek forked tongue that looks almost like a snake's if it was made from void.

"What in the hell?"

Solar Flare jumps, seeming to register he's here with it again, looking at him with these honestly heartbreakingly terrified eyes. The tiny pinpricks of his eyelights make him rethink his decision to peek.

"I'm sorry! I was just really curious!"

He scoots closer to it, grabbing onto his hands despite how his brother is trying to push away. Eclipse puts on his best reassuring expression, giving it a good squeeze.

"It's okay, I don't think it's weird or whatever. I think it's cool actually!"

That gets its attention, and they blink up at him in surprise. He gives them a smile.

"Flare, I work in the SCP Foundation. I'm not gonna get freaked out by some teeth"

"Do you really mean that?"

Silly brother. So sensitive when it comes to silly things.

"Of course. Have I ever lied?"

It gives him and unimpressed look, and he snorts.

"About the important stuff at least?"

It thinks about that for a second, shrugs, and draws him into a deeper hug. He goes easily.

His first brother needs all the reassurances it can get, and Eclipse needs a nap. It's a win-win honestly

[birdie-in-arcadia]

In Our Wake Chapter 3

Here's chapter 3 while I have it ready. 4 will most likely come tomorrow, as I'm in Okinawa and must get to bed! Enjoy!

In Our Wake

CHAPTER THREE — SMOKE SIGNALS 

(My POV)

Another gig. Another crowd. But this one feels different. Maybe it’s the way the air hums before the first note. Maybe it’s knowing what III murmured to me this morning, half-laughing as he brushed my knuckles with his: "Watch for me tonight." I do. In every moment. From the wings this time, just barely allowed there under the pretense of being a friend of the crew. The view isn’t perfect, but I don’t care. It’s close enough to feel the vibration of the subs in my ribs, close enough to see the sweat glisten at the nape of his neck, the way his body jerks and flows through the set like he’s possessed by something primal and holy. 

He burns on stage. All of them do, in different ways. III is fire. Vessel, water. IV, stillness. Air, maybe. Or stone. And II is thunder. Constant. Rhythmic. Holding it all together even as it threatens to fall apart. I find myself watching all four, but mostly him. And, sometimes, Vessel. I catch his eye once. Or I think I do through the mask, it’s hard to be certain. But something in his posture shifts when he realizes I’m there. Something silent settles between us, unspoken. 

After the show, there’s a buzz backstage. Equipment being packed down, laughter from the guys echoing through concrete corridors, the hiss of opening bottles. I turn the corner to find all four band members sitting on a brown suede couch, their feet up on a table in front of them. IV’s legs are across Vessel’s lap as he reclines back on the couch, chuckling at whatever story III is telling from the other end of the couch. I catch the tail end of the conversation. “Oh, that never even happened, you twat!” IV says, laughter elevating his tone as he points at II. “Swear to shite it did!” II replies, his hands in the air by his head, feigning innocence. Vessel and III throw their heads back in laughter at the interaction, Vessel’s hands resting on IV’s calves. 

One of my favorite things is finding the guys relaxing like this, joking with each other like brothers. I smile fondly as I find a chair in the corner and plop down, slumping almost immediately. I pull out my phone to scroll mindlessly and decompress from the exciting evening. I feel a vibration, and my eyes dart to the notification bar at the top of my screen. I swipe down and see that it’s a text from III. “Come with me.” it reads simply. No question, just come.  

I look up from my phone and see that III had left the pile of boys on the couch, and I catch his lanky form just as he walks out the door of the green room. I stand and follow him, and I find him leaning against the wall outside the room waiting for me. 

I smile up at him as he takes my hand and leads me down the hall and up a narrow stairwell to a half-hidden roof access. The wind is biting this high up, London glittering beneath us like a half-spilled secret. He lights a cigarette, leans against the rail, and offers me one. I shake my head. "Not my thing." "Didn’t think so." He takes a drag, exhales slowly. "Helps me come down." "From performing?" I ask, moving to lean onto the rail next to him. To be close to him. He nods. "It’s like... screaming into the void. And the void screaming back. Makes it hard to be quiet again." I look up at him. "You don’t seem like the quiet type." He smiles sidelong. "You’d be surprised." 

For a moment, there’s only the wind, and the sound of tires sloshing through puddles down in the street, dozens of feet below. Then he says, almost without looking at me, "Vessel likes you." I blink. "What?" He shrugs. "He won’t say it. But I know him. He watches people when they’re important." There’s a long pause as I mill over III’s words, trying to comprehend them. I don’t know how to answer, so I say the only honest thing I can. "We’ve talked. He’s kind." "He is," III says. Then, softly, "Too kind." Another drag. Another silence. "I really don’t think he ‘likes’ me. It’s more like he’s perplexed and curious, don’t you think?” I ask. III pauses again for a moment, and I think his hesitation to respond is because he knows I have a point. 

I feel a chill run through me from head to toe, and I hug myself, shifting my feet. The air around us takes on a more earthy aroma, signaling that rain will resume falling again soon. “You wanna go back inside?” I ask him. He glances at me, lips quirking. "And leave this cinematic rooftop moment behind?" I grin. "You’ll live." He stubs out the cigarette on the railing, letting the butt roll into the dark. 

We don’t go back downstairs, though. Not yet. He presses his hand gently to my back, guiding me to the center of the roof, where the view is clearest and the wind whistles through the railing. "You ever feel like the world’s too loud?" he asks. "All the time." I reply, my eyes wandering over the dark London skyline. "That’s why I do this. The music. The noise. It’s the only time the rest of it fades." 

I look at him. Really look, almost as if I’m trying to see through his cocky exterior and into the windows of his mind. "You don’t seem like someone trying to escape." I say, my eyes still lingering on him. He smirks. "That’s ‘cause I’ve had practice." I want to ask what he’s running from. I want to ask if he ever stops. Instead, I reach for his hand. He lets me take it. And we stand there, two silhouettes on a rooftop, trying to be something like quiet together. And, for a moment, we’re the only two people in the world. 

__________ 

Later that night, after he’s walked me back to my floor and kissed my cheek so softly it barely counts, I run into IV near the lift. He’s got his hands in his hoodie pockets, hair a bit tousled, expression unreadable. "You alright?" he asks, voice low and even. "Yeah," I say, surprised at how true it feels. He glances down the corridor after III, who’s already disappearing into the stairwell. "He’s intense." "Yeah," I echo. "He’s also the kind that crashes fast." I look at IV properly. His gaze is calm but steady. "Noted," I say. He offers a small nod, then steps past me into the lift. As the doors close, he says over his shoulder: "Just make sure he doesn’t take you down with him." My eyes stay fixed on IV as the lift doors close and he disappears from sight, and I wonder deeply about what he could’ve meant by that. 

__________ 

The days blur after that. A rhythm takes shape, unofficial, unspoken. Early morning texts from III, and late, passion-filled nights. Quiet nods and small grins from Vessel. The occasional brush of IV’s gaze as he passes in the hall. The quick wave in passing and small talk over hotel breakfasts from II. And me, floating somewhere in the middle of it all, trying to remember when this stopped being a fling and started feeling like... gravity. 

The band has a few days off, tucked into a pocket of downtime before the next leg. They're staying in the same hotel. So am I. Cheaper to just rent a few more nights than to book flights back to the band’s home and back. I stay in III’s room more than my own these days. 

On the second day off, III takes me to a bookshop-café tucked between two charity shops and a florist that smells overwhelmingly of lilies. It's all creaky floors and warm light, and there’s an old orange cat curled beneath the poetry shelf like it owns the place. He picks out a book of British folklore and reads me the opening line in a voice just above a whisper. “They say the forest keeps secrets even the gods forget.” “Spooky,” I murmur with a playful smile. He grins. “Sexy, more like. Secrets are half the fun.” 

Later, over flat whites and almond croissants, I ask him, “What were you like before all this?” He leans back in his chair, mouth twitching. “All what?” “The band. The mask. The smoke and fire.” I say, my fingers absentmindedly tracing the rim of my mug. He spins his rings on his fingers as he contemplates my question, then responds, his eyes fixed on his fidgeting hands. “Worse.” My brow furrows slightly. “Worse how?” He shrugs, suddenly guarded. “Louder. More reckless. Fewer things to lose.” That sticks with me. I don’t press. I just let the moment breathe as I lift my mug and take a sip. I’ve learned not to push him with questions like that. If I do, he gets jumpy and defensive, and I don’t like bringing that out in him. 

That night, there’s a knock on my door. It’s Vessel. Still masked, still cloaked in that quiet, calm weight he always carries. He’s holding two mugs—tea, by the smell—and a book under his arm. “I thought...,” he says gently, “...you might want a quiet night.” I blink, my expression unreadable. “You thought right.” 

He doesn’t come in. Just sits beside me in the hallway, backs against the wall, the tea between us. He starts reading aloud; something old, lyrical, aching. His voice is softer than I expect. Smoother. I don’t know why that surprises me. It’s soothing in a way. I allow myself to settle into his timbre, gently wrapping myself in it like velvet sheets. I feel calm in his presence. His protective vibrations wash over me and set my mind at ease, and I can’t put a finger on why. 

“Doesn’t it bother you?” I ask, somewhere between pages. “Hiding your face all the time?” There’s a long pause. “I don’t think people want the truth,” he says. “They want the version of you they can carry.” I glance sideways. “And which version am I seeing now?” He lowers the book slightly. “The one that hoped you’d ask.” He looks over at me, and although I can’t see his eyes, I can feel the warmth cascading down from them. His face remains stoic as he turns back to his book.  

We sit in silence after that. But not the heavy kind. The kind that understands its own weight. When he leaves, he places the book gently on my lap. “For when the world gets too loud.” He stands and strides away gracefully back down the hall to his room, black cloak flowing behind him. I hear the click of the door unlocking and watch him disappear inside. 

__________ 

The next morning, there’s a note under my door. You’ve got plans. Be ready by nine. No name. But I know the handwriting. All sharp slants and cocky confidence. 

III takes me to the outskirts of the city. A woods-fringed road, damp with dew. He’s found an old walking path, barely maintained, and insists it’s “the best place to be invisible for a bit.” 

We walk in companionable silence, crunching through leaves and old brambles. He tells me about gigs in countries I’ve never been to. About how IV once tried to wrestle a deer for a setlist and lost. About the worst green rooms in Europe. 

Eventually, we find a clearing with moss-covered boulders and a half-rotted bench. He collapses onto it with a groan and pats the space beside him. “You ever feel like your real life is happening to someone else?” he asks. “All the time.”  He closes his eyes. “I think that’s why I like you.” I tilt my head. “Because I’m also a bit emotionally dislocated?” He laughs, full-throated and unguarded. “Because you don’t ask me to be anyone else.” I look over at him, my expression suddenly more serious. His gaze stays fixed on the pond in front of us as a couple of ducks float past. I want to kiss him. I think I might. But something stops me. 

A quiet rustle sounds at the edge of the trees. The unmistakable figure of IV, stepping into view. Hoodie up, hands deep in his pockets. III’s face changes. Just slightly. A tightening of the jaw. A glance that lasts a fraction too long. “Didn’t know we were inviting chaperones,” he mutters. IV just looks between us. His gaze lands on me. 

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to intrude. Just wanted to come feed the ducks, collect my thoughts for a few.” He says as he pulls out a bag of crackers from his hoodie pocket. He gives me a friendly smile as he gestures the crackers toward me. “Wanna help? There’s a bunch of ‘em around the bend a couple hundred feet that way, short walk.” IV asks, an excited, boyish lilt to his tone. 

I return the smile as I nod and shuffle my feet underneath me to stand, but before my bottom even leaves the bench, III’s hand shoots up and pulls down on my thigh stopping me. The smile leaves my face as I look over at him with questions on my tongue, but before I can speak, he speaks for me. 

“She’s all good.” he pats my thigh with an affectionate front and offers a tight smile that doesn’t meet his eyes as he looks up at IV, then back down to me, but there’s heavy undertones of tension dragging down the air, and my chest tightens slightly, along with III’s grip on my thigh. IV’s face drops a bit as he gives III a look that I can’t read. He tightens his lips in a straight, thin line, nods, and says, “Alright. Just thought I’d ask.” His tone is even and cool despite the outright rude gesture III just pulled. 

Suddenly, III stands. “You were just leaving, yeah?” IV doesn’t rise to it. Just nods once, calm as ever. “See you later.” He disappears again into the trees like a ghost. I look at III. “That was unnecessary.” His jaw flexes. “He knows what he’s doing.” My brows furrow in genuine confusion at III’s statement. I look over at him as I ask, “What does that mean?” “Nothing,” he says, too quickly. “Forget it.” But I don’t. I can’t. Because for the first time, I start to see the lines being drawn, and I’m not sure if I like which side I’m on. 

Alright readers, what are we thinking so far? Do we like where this is going, can we forsee it? This has been a great experience for me to write despite the darker themes ahead. If you're reading this, Thank you!! There's a LOT more where that came from.

[collidescopeeyes]

Hi !! Any chance that you're going to write about sett or kayn? Just wondering ehehe, I love your fics so much and I always read them time to time. It fills that void in my heart ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

I have an Order of Shadows (Zed and Kayn/Rhaast) harem fic I've been chipping away at! Unfortunately my mental and physical health has been pretty rock bottom the last few months so I haven't been up to writing much. As for Sett, I had a vague idea for a Roulette Wheel chapter where Iso becomes a pit fighter at his establishment while also unwittingly moving in with his mom, leading to Hijinks, but alas it stayed 90% an idea. Please enjoy this random out of context scene from the 10% however

“You're living with my mom?” He hisses as soon as the door shuts, and it is indeed a hiss; there's some animalistic noise rattling in his chest while he speaks that makes it difficult to be sure which word in that sentence he's actually stressing. Maybe all of them.

You shrug so hard your shoulders go up to your ears, equally agitated. “How was I supposed to know?! This was before I even fucking met you!”

He gestures harshly to his ears, then back towards the door to the dining room, pinning you with a wildly incredulous look. “We're the only two Ottari Vastaya in this entire city, you didn't think?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know that?” You demand. “Why would I assume everyone I meet with fucking animal ears is related!? They could've been fucking…fox ears, or wolves, or something, I don't know, and I'm not going to assume because I'm not about to be some sort of cat-boy racist!”

He squints at you. “Cat boy?” He repeats.

“Cat man, whatever,” you wave a hand at him.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “That's not–whatever, not the issue. You can't tell her. About any of it. You, me, the pit, anything, y’hear me?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Are you asking me to lie to her?”

“I'm telling you to lie to her, as your fucking boss,” he snaps. "It'll break her heart if she finds out."

“Maybe you shouldn't be in a profession that would break her heart in the first place,” you shoot back, scowling.

His lip curls. “Hey, fuck you. What other option do I got, trying to make a decent living for the both of us in this fucking town? You think I haven't been down that road, huh? Who's going to hire a beast-blooded bastard?”

You regret your words immediately. “I didn't mean…I'm sorry, that was a shitty thing for me to say.”

He deflates in turn. “I…fuck.” He turns away, raking a hand through his hair. “Honestly, you're not wrong. She deserves better than being lied to, but I just…I don't feel like I've got much of a choice, y'know? If she knew where the money came from she wouldn't take it, and I ain't going back to watching her kill herself on shit jobs for shit people. Did enough of that growing up,” he says with a scowl.

You sigh. “Sett, I’m historically pretty fucking bad at keeping secrets,” you inform him. “Literally, the only secret I've managed to keep came with a magic shock collar.”

His face scrunches in the way it does when he's not sure if he wants to ask what the fuck you're talking about. “What?”

You wave a dismissive hand at him. “If I talk about a certain point in my life I start…well I can't say what happens, but…y'know what happened to Junbei?”

He blinks. “The bouncer who got glassed? Or the guy who got a razor slipped into his food cuz he was fucking around on his wife?”

You nod. “Yes. Anyway, it's a whole thing, it's not really important.”

“That seems pretty important,” he argues, face scrunch intensifying.

“Anyway, we need to get our stories straight,” you say, blatantly changing the subject. “I've been pretty vague about my work, so I don't think there should be any contradictions, except–” you pause, staring off into space. Then you cringe.

“What? Iso, what?” He asks, alarmed.

You cover your face, groaning. How the fuck are you supposed to explain that she's been trying to set you up with her son? How the fuck were you going to explain that you dodged said set up by telling her you were interested in your cocksure boss, who is apparently also her son? You'd have to leave the country. You'd have to throw yourself into the nearest Void Rift and hope to whatever God had jurisdiction that you didn't fucking embarrass yourself in whatever universe you got spat into next. “Nevermind, don't worry about it.”

“Iso…” he says warningly. You ignore him and go back into the dining room.

[dailyblueberror]

lowkey cannot stop thinking about your blueberror hc post. Especially where you were talking about being unsure over whether or not he'd hold a grudge towards Error or do a full 180 and like have stockholm syndrome towards him??? Kinda leaning towards the stockholm syndrome option cause HMO ok...

From what we know about errors, they kinda seem a little fixated on whatever they were doing before they became an error?? Like for Error, he was kinda fixated on finding a way to save his timeline and ESPECIALLY his Papyrus, even before he became an error. So like- when the first thing he experienced after getting out of the Anti-Void (yk, post becoming an error) was a timeline that was almost like his, but not quite, that REALLY set him off and set off his desire to destroy worlds. Which I kinda believe is sorta like an Ice King kidnapping princesses thing??? Like he doesn’t really remember WHY he's doing it, but it's a subconscious attempt at doing what he was doing before he completely lost it ig if that makes any sense.

Anyways, the thing Blueberror was doing before he became an error, was trying to escape the Anti-Void and also waiting for Error to come back. Like I think his fixation would be pretty similar to Error's (find my brother, get back home) but obviously he'd go about it completely differently yk, and with the added twist of like desperately craving attention and being kinda terrified of being left alone. So yeah, I kinda think he'd be pretty unpicky about where that attention came from, especially since becoming an error also seems to come with a lot of memory problems. Like I think his reaction to Error finally coming back would be something more along the lines of:

"OMG YOUR BACK I LITERALLY MISSED YOU SO BAD" - Blueberror

"OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED NO THIS IS NOT OK GET OUT OF MY ANTI-VOID" - Error

Uh idk I might be completely wrong but I'd love to hear your thoughts since you're like the resident Blueberror expert and all lol.

Hi!!! Thank you so much for the ask!!! (Cant believe IM the resident blueberror expert… the bar must be low… /silly)

I really like your take on Stockholm berror!! You makes a lot of really good points and connections that i totally agree with! But ill be honest, it definitely isnt my favorite out of the two i put in my hc post. Especially lore wise, like alot of canon things would need to be changed to make it work. (Ignoring how Blueberror canon is practically three paragraphs and a dream 😔) but i think grudge-berror is definitely closer to how canon goes.

This doesnt mean i hate it though! I really liked what you said about error and subconscious, especially how error kinda uses memory loss as an excuse to convince himself that HES the normal one (he is NOT 🙏). I do think the “find my brother, get back home” fixation would really only apply to blueberror? Especially since berror implied to have little to no memory loss, (so he’d still Remeber what happened and why he would need to get home) and error doesn’t seem to be really worried about finding anyone or getting anywhere. only really caring about himself and destroying, even subconsciously. And blueberrors lack of memory issues would definitely make it less likely he would get attached to error.

This is why i prefer berror hating him (at least at first,) because In canon, berror would go from immediately trying to kill error out of anger, to making a conscious effort to forgive him.

Not because he wants to, but because he understands how his own anger would only keep himself from moving on and being able to live peacefully in the omega timeline.

I think his immediate anger is really important in showing how becoming an error really affects his mental stability, Especially when compared to his previous forgiving nature. And him being able to make a conscious effort to reject his own anger and be forgiving again like his past self gives error absolutely NO excuses in his own behavior.

Blueberror wouldn’t be wrong to hate error forever, but he wouldn’t be happy if he did. Something he recognizes and acts upon. But error? Error NEVER tries to find peace. He never tries to change how he sees the world.

Blueberror could easily lash out at others, but he doesn’t. Blueberror knows what he wants in life, error doesn’t. This is why i think blueberror would be sane enough to want to be away from error. When blueberror forgives him but still distances himself, he can be happy.

But on the opposite end of the character arc chart, Blueberror sticking around error is a really good way to give error an opportunity for character development. Like for some reason if berror couldn’t go to the omega timeline, even if he was angry with error at first, he’d have no CHOICE but to forgive him.

Like you said, the desperation and loneliness would hit him HARD. He’d go crazier and would definitely get really attached to error and that would freak error out.

Canonically, error would go on to forget his horror upon seeing blueberror, (mostly because he leaves) but if blueberror stuck around him? He’d have no CHOICE but to actually face what hes done. He’d have a reason to really begin to question his morals and actions. Maybe if error realizes his own mistakes and tries to make up for them, he could change.

In conclusion; i ❤️ stoljmolm berror. I also ❤️ hater berror. Both r cool ❤️. Thank upu for the cool ask. Sorry for using your ask as an excuse to over analyze canon … hope you dont mind

If anyone disagrees with this or has any questions(as this is probably nonsense and makes no sense) my asks are open :3

Source for all the canon stuff i mentioned here