#when can we get them on taskmaster?

[bespectacledbunnys]

Vic brought full Taskmaster energy to this episode and I love that.

[thevibraniumveterans]

I have THOUGHTS about… ahem… the “Thunderbolts*”…

SPOILER ALERT!!!

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT…

LAST WARNING!

I’ve just watched the film this evening and I have so many thoughts off the top of my head and in no particular order

Valentina, you SCHEMING little shit, I KNEW something was up! That was insane.

Movie was big on mental health, for sure.

I previously thought we’d see Bucky going up against himself, but I was wrong; why would he ever need to do that? The MCU was his process and we’ve been watching him absolutely go through it.

And speaking of going through it, Bob and his room reminded me of Moon Knight, what with the abusive parents and whatnot, him being in the safest room he can be in, surrounded by toys.

And speaking of rooms. Yelena’s scenes around the Red Room situations, oof, that must’ve been really hard on her, that she could not change anything, that it would keep happening.

The whole you-don’t-have-to-do-this-alone aspect of the film was so well made, and that one scene near the end, the group hug, heartwarming. Very emotional scene. Loved it.

Very nearly upstaged by the previous scenes where Bucky, Walker, Ava, Yelena, and Alexei stopped that stone slab from hitting the ground, saving civilians

Alexei was hilarious throughout the whole movie, awesome at that

HOLY SHIT THE NEW AVENGERS??? I’ll get back to that in a bit but OMG.

The thing about Bob punching his own dark reflection and almost becoming what he feared the most was just… so so well done, that even when he was being mocked, he found the strength to get up and fight back, inspiring the others to get up and fight back too, and fight back together

Taskmaster? Yeah, we knew she was toast within the first 20 minutes but not how, now we know that Val had sent Taskmaster to kill Walker to kill Yelena to kill Ghost

That was one hell of an introduction though

And speaking of introductions, I gotta say something about the post-credits scene. First off, those new outfits are really cool; Walker getting a beret?? BUCKY GETTING A NEW OUTFIT AND A STAR OVER HIS RIGHT ARM?? I love that it’s navy blue now. AND THE FANTASTIC FOUR SHIP?? We know F4 is right around the corner this summer; I’m guessing that in the mid- and/or post-credits scene(s) of that movie we’ll have the F4 interact with the New Avengers before DOOMSDAY

And speaking of the New Avengers! That was Val’s whole setup! She had to get all shady and morally grey and villainy-like, trying to get her potential Avengers members to kill each other in some kind of wretched test to see how’d they fare against each other.

And oh right, BUCKY SAID SAM ISN’T HAPPY about the New Avengers; remember in CABNW Sam said that Ross told him to form a new team? What kind of beef is Val having with whoever is the president now? I mean it’s not like Bucky put together a team, it was just convenient that four of them were in the same car. But think about it, in the Doomsday lineup video, Anthony Mackie was third and Sebastian fourth, so the fact that they’re really high up on the roster and right next to each other tells me that Sam may be mad an Avengers team has been formed and there was nothing he could do about it

And like, it’s 2027 in the MCU now, right? The movie ends like 14 months later so now it’s freakin’ 2028 in the MCU now.

Bob is a cool person, I think, Sentry was the midpoint between Bob and the Void, and Bob doesn’t want to become the Sentry due to how he’d also become the Void - this avoidance is kinda like how Banner didn’t want to become Hulk but then reconciled. I like Bob’s dynamic with Yelena.

The whole metaphor of walking into the void is like choosing to confront your shame, your darkness, the things you think you don’t deserve sympathy for, but then again the whole point of Yelena, Bucky, Walker, and Ava coming together to group hug Bob was just so good.

It’s hilarious that Val didn’t just go “I’m putting together a team”, she went “Imma send these misfits to kill each other, send my latest project to kill them, ALL IN THE GUISE OF HOPING THEY ALL TEAM THE EFF UP but I can’t tell anyone that until the events I put into motion cause them to save the city and become the heroes I always knew they were” and honestly? What the hell, Valentina?! 🤣 You played them, you played us, well effing done, loved it, 15/10 no notes.

Bucky with the good hair! 🤩

Oh and the mid-credits artwork referencing famous historical promo, the Yelena “We can do it” poster referencing the WWII Rosie the Riveter propaganda, the team shot referencing the “Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima” photo

And part of the artwork also being in-universe headlines of people not exactly loving the New Avengers

And the classic Avengers theme song as the undercurrent for the main theme of this movie!

I may have other points but I’ll save them for later, I think??

[russilton]

George has opened up a bit more about his dad in a new article for the daily main (without paywall below) and it's a genuinely gut wrenching read. If you want to go in knowing while George doesn't acknowledge it as such, his descriptions of his dad's behaviour are very clearly abusive.

It’s poolside at the Ritz-Carlton, South Beach, Miami, and a sun from central casting beams down. Just beyond the adjacent cream sands the day before a shark was spotted amid the white caps of the Atlantic.

Some observers gawped. Many recorded the scene on their phones, quelle surprise, while those in the water rushed to dry land with almost comic alarm, the terrified tripping as they waded to safety.

Now all is quiet, and staff bring over watermelon juice as George Russell sits down to talk. Aged 27, the Norfolk-born driver has contended with the sharp-toothed critters of Formula One to emerge as the outstanding British performer of today.

His consistently accomplished drives for Mercedes this season, and the end of last, underline his rightful status as successor as team leader to no less than Lewis Hamilton, the seven-time world champion he acknowledges as the GOAT.

Russell’s route to Formula One was not travelled on a red carpet. He picks up the story of a hard taskmaster father, Steve, and his protective mother, Alison, of their parental rows over his treatment, and the £1.5million they scrimped and saved to fund his career – and tells for the first time how he has now repaid them every penny of their investment.

‘It was hard,’ he says of his father’s tough love. ‘From the age of seven to 16 you are not mature enough to recognise what your parents are doing for you.

‘My father was working every day from seven in the morning to nine at night to earn his money to take me racing at the weekend. As a kid you question, “Where’s dad?” Oh, he’s at work. “Why’s he at work?”

‘And then we go racing and he is quite stressed from his job. And if I was making silly mistakes, he’d be dead angry with me. In those eight years, there were happy times, but there are lots of sad memories from my parents fighting because of how hard my father was being on me. My mum was trying to hold it all together.

‘It was, “You’re not winning.” The expectation was to be on pole and win every race, at least always be on the podium. Even times when I did win, it wasn’t sunshine and glory on the way home. It was, “But you could have done this better, done that better.”

‘He has moulded me into the guy I am today. He would always want the glass full. He would see where I could have improved while never seeing the positives. I continue the mentality of looking at where I could have done better, while ensuring I see the positives. Otherwise, it can be a very slippery slope.

‘I can now see it with my brother: his kids are starting go-karting and he is working his a*** off to give them the chance. Life isn’t simple, with the stress of work and the rest. And I will forever be grateful for what my dad did.’

‘I just accepted the way he dealt with me. I accepted that if I didn’t win, he wouldn’t be happy with me. And that the journey home would be a long one, and most likely end in tears.’

Did young George get the silent treatment?

‘No, I’d be b******ed,’ he recalls. ‘I see it now that kids who are born with a silver spoon in their mouths don’t have the same work ethic as those who had massive discipline over them from a young age.

‘My father was working every day from seven in the morning to nine at night to earn his money to take me racing at the weekend.'

‘If I could turn back the clock knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t change a single thing’

‘So, from my father’s perspective, would he wish that for those six, seven, eight years that he had a closer relationship with his son? Maybe. But those years set me up for life.

‘If I could turn back the clock knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t change a single thing.’

How is Russell’s relationship with your father now, I wonder. Closer?

‘Hmm, yeah,’ he says. ‘What was amazing with my father is that when I was signed by Mercedes (on their Young Driver Programme eight years ago) he opened the cage door and let me fly.

'It went from being a super-controlling, super-emotional, b******ing every time I didn’t do well, to suddenly feeling he could pass me on to the next chapter.

‘Now he supports me from afar every single session. He is taking care of grandkids.’

Steve Russell was involved in agriculture, a seed and wheat merchant – his factory a first port of call after harvesting prior to distribution. ‘He sold the business to fund my racing,’ adds Russell. ‘In 2012.’ Russell was just 14 then.

‘For where we lived, my father was an exceptionally successful man. But in that industry success was making a profit. Now we are in a world of unrealistic wealth with billionaires around us.

The Norfolk-born 27-year-old has now made 133 grand prix starts, with three race wins

Mercedes boss Toto Wolff’s ardour for world champion Max Verstappen seems to have waned, just as Russell’s results increasingly make their own argument

He is out of contract this year but remains confident of re-signing. His results should make that a slam dunk

Russell's new Mercedes AMG One, which has a top speed of 219mph and accelerates from 0-186mph in 15.6sec

‘We could have lived a very happy life had he not done that. I have paid everything back that he spent on me. I made it clear that as soon as I made money, I wanted to pay everything off. It was about £1.5m.’

The dividend can be measured, among other achievements, in the car Russell has just bought – the AMG One supercar. A limited edition of 275, the coupe was initially listed at $2.7m (£2m). It has a top speed of 219mph and accelerates from 0-186mph in 15.6sec.

It is the first car Russell has ever bought, having started on the road in a white Polo bought by his parents – 60bhp, top speed of 100mph with a following wind. And there was no reduction for Mercedes’ top driver for his new car. He chose a navy blue that glistens in the sun. His racing number – 63 – is inscribed at his request.

He intends keeping the car forever (despite receiving an offer worth double what he gave for it), to go with his company G Wagon and the vintage 300 SL he hopes to add to his portfolio.

Three cars – that’s ‘all’ he wants in his garage at home in Monaco; no huge collection. All are Mercedes, we note, a telling symbol of his commitment to the Silver Arrows.

He is out of contract this year but remains confident of re-signing. His results should make that a slam dunk. Both he and boss Toto Wolff are talking optimistically of a successful conclusion, probably this month or next.

Helpfully, Wolff’s ardour for world champion Max Verstappen seems to have waned, just as Russell’s results increasingly make their own argument.

With Russell in Miami, as she is at most of his races, is his Spanish girlfriend Carmen Montero Mundt, 26. She did not know he was a racing driver when he stood in for a friend who was due to go on a date with her. That was in London in 2020. She is upstairs on the terrace as George and I talk. He pays her this tribute as his rock in a volatile world.

With Russell in Miami, as she is at most of his races, is his Spanish girlfriend Carmen Montero Mundt, 26

The Mercedes driver has paid tribute to his girlfriend, labelling her his rock in a volatile world

She did not know he was a racing driver when he stood in for a friend who was due to go on a date with her back in 2020 in London

‘As for Carmen I feel lucky having her around. She is my emotional support in the world of instability I live in.'

‘I left school at 13 and have very few friends to be honest,’ he says. ‘It can be a lonely life. You are in different hotels, different countries, different time zones, different climates.

‘Mondays are emotional hangover days after a race. A slap in the face if you are on a high after a good result, and a slap in the face after a bad one if you dwell on it. I play padel to get my mind off things, rather than sit inside scrolling through social media.

‘As for Carmen I feel lucky having her around. She is my emotional support in the world of instability I live in. I wouldn’t change anything in my life now or what went before.’

Now he is off for a run – a peaceful 7km, next to the ocean where the sharks prowl.

[jamiedc-they-them]

Thunderbolts x reader, maybe continuation of the black widow fic you did where the reader is taskmaster, but basically the plot of the movie stays the same (minus Ava killing taskmaster) but actually become close with Ava and John and Yelena and reader having mental breakdowns together

Forgive me, little sister Part II (platonic)

Forgive me, little sister Part I

Marvel Masterlist I

Marvel Masterlist II

Anything in () aside from (Your name)is Russian :)

Summary: Years after being freed from being Taskmaster, you haven’t heard from your family. That all changes on one very special, apparently final, mission…

Warnings: Mental health, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, violence, trauma.

You didn’t know why Yelena and Alexei never called after Natasha’s death. They didn’t even try.

You were promised a family, but instead got nothing. You were left alone, with barely any memories or even identity.

Natasha may have apologised, but then she died, and Yelena never came back for you.

Valentina, a woman you hadn’t heard of before, approached you one day.

“Mask is a little needless,” she said, “but we can make it work. Makes you harder to track.”

So, that’s how you fell into a spiral: once again killing and tracking like you did with Dreykov, but people who were, as you were told, bad and deserved it.

You didn’t talk much, but when you did, you had a voice coder in your helmet.

“Edgy,” Valentina quipped one time when contacting you, “you know, I don’t care if you don’t let anyone else in. But you have to let me in. I can’t fully help you otherwise.”

“Help me?” You parroted.

“With your scars from the Black Widow programme,” she didn’t even look at you, knowing your eyes at widened, “oh, I know all about you. Tragic story, but skills that make you useful in a world where so many people are useless.

“Don’t worry, though,” she said as she condescendingly tapped your shoulder, “your secret is safe with me.”

For how long, though, you asked yourself.

You didn’t talk to anyone, just kept to yourself.

The idea that Natasha gave to you when Yelena, her, Alexei and Melinda saved you brought hope to you. Safety. Life.

That was just a lie, just like how you told yourself, in that moment, that you deserved it, to be cherished, loved, worth fighting for. 

It was a lie, all of it. 

So, you slaved. You worked yourself to the bone, only really patching yourself up when Valentina scolded you for it.

The Widows you hunted and killed, the innocent people you killed.

Why were you still here?

“I have another job for you,” Valentina said, “then you’re free to…do, whatever it is that you do in your spare time.”

She had found a sort of language with you. So, no response meant for her to just send it over.

O.X.E were being broken into, you needed to trail the person who was entering the premises and kill them.

Valentina had used you for experiments, so you were both Taskmaster and…something else.

When you entered, you saw someone who made your rage boil: Yelena.

So, she seemed to be the intruder? But, from what Valentina had told you, she did not match the description at all.

No, what matched it was the man she was fighting: The failed Captain America.

So, you got right into action. 

You were quick, but so was he. 

You were even, well, in terms of speed. You had guns and a blade, he had a shield. He launched it, and you ducked. 

You heard Yelena call out to you, but it was too late. You were sent flying by a new contender. She phased in and out, using it to dodge and then get one over on you.

It was brutal, painful, but nothing you weren't used to.

You got up, disoriented. As you went to the new person — a woman, Yelena got in front, hands up:

“(Your name), stop!” she cried, “Stop…we were all sent here to kill each other. Valentina set us up.” 

“Stop, (sister),” her voice was soft. It hadn't changed. She hadn't changed, aside from the blue eyeliner. 

“Wait, this twerp is your sister?” Walker asked. 

Yelena pointed at him: Careful. 

“I still have a job to do,” the Ghost said, gun aimed at you, “nothing personal.

To her surprise, one that made her pause, you put your weapons away and gently pushed Yelena aside. 

“Do it,” you said, voice clear for the first time in…god knew how long.

“What?!” Yelena said in disgust and horror.

She then turned to the woman, “Please…” 

Despite your helmet, the woman met your eyes before looking at you, actually looking at you.

“God, you're barely an adult,” she whispered. 

“Jesus,” Walker said, “they're sending kids to do an adult's job.” 

“Still kicked your arse,” the woman sneered, eyes still on you.

You hadn't moved. You hadn't spoken. You just waited. 

She lowered her pistol.

A new person entered. A man: Bob.

He was kind. Also kind of confused. 

A timer appeared: Two minutes. 

You were a solo act, not something you would exactly say with a proud smirk like some people in movies that you watched to attempt to claw back some semblance of a life, but more of a sad acknowledgement. 

So, for now, the four of you (and Bob) worked together. Walker used his shield to break a machine that blocked the woman's powers (that Yelena found). The woman was phasing out of the room, opening it, just before the incinerator killed you all. 

You came to, a hand reaching down to you, the woman who was meant to take your life and had now just saved it. 

You took it. She helped you up. 

“You alright?” she asked, sounding genuinely interested in your well-being. 

You nodded, so did she. 

Yelena was talking to Bob, a softness in her eyes. Sisterly concern, she had coined it. 

She'd found a new member of her family then, a brother. Another person who lost their memory.

Maybe she wouldn't abandon him. You hoped she didn't. 

“Hey,” the woman said, “look, you and your sister’s thing is your thing. But, right now, we need to focus on getting out of here alive, ok?”

You nodded, grabbing your pistol, unloading a magazine, and holding it to her. 

“Gun is nearly empty,” you said, English broken.

She took it. “Thank you.”

Walker broke the wall, announcing it to all of you. 

You found yourself at the bottom of a seemingly infinite climb.

So, you all hooked arms, starting to climb together.

“How old are you, kid?” 

“I don't know.”

“You don't know?” Walker said, not believing you.

“She had her memories corrupted,” Yelena explained, “file destroyed. She doesn't know, and neither does anyone else.” 

“Yeah, well, I was meant to be the next Captain —”

“We know!” the two women shouted.

You continued to make your way up. 

Then, the cucumber incident occurred. 

Even you joined in with the shouting of that. 

You didn't want all these people to fall and die.

Walker, being Walker, decided that he would be the one to do the heroics. Before anyone could stop him, he went up. 

You barely had time to reach your sword and slam it into the wall. Yelena grabbed onto you, leaning back and using her grappling hook to grab Bob.

“Ok, uh, we will climb up (Your name) and —” Yelena couldn't finish, as you slammed another blade into the wall, effortlessly moving while supporting the other two.

“She’s strong!” Bob cheered for his new friend. 

“This isn't right,” Yelena said. You paused, tilting your head to her, “What did Valentina do to you?” 

You didn't answer, only continuing to climb.

Yelena went up, then Bob. 

When he made contact with you, you weren't holding onto the ledge…you were somewhere else. 

Dreykov was there. You were younger. You could make out your features, but this was just when you were moved. 

He looked at your younger self before hitting you.

“Get up, pathetic one.” 

“Is she ok?!” a distorted voice asked. 

“I don't…(Your name), Wake up!” It was Yelena who answered. 

You took off your helmet, crouching near your younger self. 

You grabbed your arms, helping yourself up.

A gun cock. You turned. Dreykov had it on your head. 

“I should have killed you as soon as I met you, child.” 

“WAKE UP!”

You gasped, looking down into that pit of darkness. You were upside down. You felt a rope around your foot. Whoever had spoken before was now quiet. But how —

“(Your name)!” Yelena’s voice cracked. 

You looked up, Yelena was looking over that edge you were grabbing onto just moments ago, her grapple was out of its holder. Her eyes twinkled with tears. 

The other two stood, looking down at you with something foreign to you: concern. 

“Jesus, kid,” Walker said, “I mean…i don't know why I was facing the damn thing…but —” 

“You let go!” the woman shouted, eyes wide. 

You grabbed the rope, using a knife to cut the bit at your foot, using the but in your had to swing yourself to the wall. The other two helped Yelena in pulling you up. 

You reached it. Three sets of hands grabbing you and helping you up.

You felt two cup your face. Yelena knelt next to you. She put her head against your helmet, “Don't you ever do that to me again.” 

You would be honest, say that you'd try not to. Instead, you pushed her away, standing up and going to the door. 

“That was rude,” Walker said. 

You didn't answer, only looking out the door. 

O.X.E were here for you…and Bob.

Yelena’s plan was smart. But it required something you guys didn't really have: trust. 

The woman looked to you, before she went outside, “I'll be waiting. I promise.” 

Why was she being kind to you? Sure, she almost saw you die, but you had to guess that she had seen people die before. 

You went with Yelena and Bob, “can I have a gun?” he asked. 

“(Your name) and I will handle it. You just stay behind us.”

“We will get you out of this (odd one),” you assured. 

Yelena, internally, was relieved. You were together on this.

“Why did you push me away?” she asked, voice quiet. You continued flicking the switches that you needed.

“You don't get to play sister-dearest now. You left me.” 

You could feel the hurt coming off of her in waves. 

“I didn't mean to —”

“Valentina found me!” you snapped, “she found me trying to break into a building to just get found and die. She – she called them off, hired me instead. And now she just – she's like everyone else, they all find out in the end…even after I let her experiment on me —”

“You did —”

“Everyone leaves me, Yelena!” Was this the place? No. But, it was coming out now, “because I am not worth any of it. You promised family, then left! I let myself believe it, for a second!” You shoved her back, “but I'll get you out. I'll let you and your new brother Bob get out. I'm done after this. I tried, I really did…”

The lights went out, but not back on. 

Shit.

It was odd, how Yelena and you fell back into fighting together. You would lower your back, she would roll. She'd throw you something, you'd catch it. 

It was like old times. 

But that was all they were…old. The past. 

You made it to Walker, after almost killing him, before using the armour from the people that you had hurt or killed as a disguise. 

It was working. You had made them all turn around when you took your helmet off. To your relief, and wonder as to why, they did. 

You made it…well, almost made it. You had to get a vehicle.

You wouldn't lie if you said you hadn't jumped when the woman appeared, appearing in the driver's seat. 

You sat with Bob in the back.

“I like your eyes,” he said.

“What?”

“Your eyes,” he elaborated, “they're a nice colour.” 

You weren't entirely sure how to take the compliment.

“Sorry,” he said, seemingly understanding, “I'm not great at giving or receiving them either. Have a little voice in the back of my head…some days it's louder. But, it's always there, saying —”

“You aren't worthy of it.”

Bob took off his helmet, smiling a sad but soft one, “Exactly.” 

You heard Walker talking to someone, an actual O.X.E employee. The employee was getting irritated. 

Looked like a fight was —

“Hey,” Bob said, “I um…I don't know how to use this thing, I'm sure my demonstration back there was pretty much the best example,” he said, scratching his neck as he took his armour off.

You nodded.

“But, you do. And, I'm sorry to ask — it's dumb — but, maybe.” 

You grabbed a rifle, checking the magazine before putting it back in. 

“If this is it,” you looked at him, eyes soft, “at least I won't be alone for a few minutes.” 

He smiled, “Thank you. I mean it.” 

You nodded, “Let’s go be dumb and lose our minds together.”

He smiled. He was scared, you were relieved. An ending. A use. 

You fired the gun, Taskmaster armour back on. Bob was behind you, shouting and grabbing attention

Guns were trained on you, the lights blinding.

You moved yourself in front of Bob, but he then moved himself next to you, hand going into yours. 

“Together?” you nodded.

“No, Bob helped,” Yelena said from the car. 

“Bob’s not alone,” Walker said, a small bit of fear slipping into his voice.

“Oh no…” Ghost said.

“What do you —” Yelena’s heart stopped.

Her ears rang when the bullets went. Watching your bodies jerk with each hit. Watching you fall. 

The ringing continued. She didn't even know if she cried out for you. She didn’t know if she screamed. She couldn't feel a tear run down her face. 

They had made it out, but it felt worthless without you.

Bob took off, literally. They all looked up. Meaning they didn't see you. They didn't see you crawl to a box for cover. They didn't see you crawl your way to a hill and roll your way down it. 

They ignored you, completely. 

A massive boom occurred, the shockwave waking you up as you felt your body heal itself. 

You slowly got up, legs shaky. 

You were alive again. 

Not even Valentina could kill you. 

You started walking through the night, with no sense of direction. You just walked. 

You didn't know if your body would break down without food or water. Would it eat itself, only to then repair?

You found a road and followed it.

Hours went by. Where had Bob gone? He was an experiment, too, it seemed. Why else would he have been there? 

Your legs gave way. Maybe you weren't invincible after all. 

You felt arms grab you, then turn you around. 

“Oh, (little one)!” a familiar voice yelled out. 

You felt hands grab your helmet. You couldn't stop Alexei. 

Your helmet came off, and then a bottle came to your lips, “Drink, (daughter). Drink,” he was soft, kind. Elated.

You opened your eyes and saw him. He still looked the same, a bit Balder than you remembered, but the same other than that.

“(Dad)?” you asked. 

He nodded, wiping a tear away.

He helped you up. “Are you alright?”

You shook your head.

“It's alright, I'm here. Pappa is here,” he said, comfortingly, “I'm here. Pappa is here.” 

He looked around, “Now, come. We must save your sister —”

The clap of the slap and the power took him by surprise. 

“Why do you have to be so nasty?”

He was shoved against the car the next moment, “it's always Yelena, Yelena, Yelena with you! What about me?! Your other daughter, the other one who is alive? Did you even think about me?!”

“Of course I did!”

“Then where were you?”

He faltered. So did you. 

“I let myself be pumped full of drugs and shit —”

“Language —”

“—Stuff,” you corrected, hands up, “to just try… I don't know, feel wanted?” 

Alexei felt his heart break. 

“I bet Yelena visited…”

“She did.”

You looked at the floor, fingers playing with each other, “of course she did,” you were too tired to be angry.

“Did you have cellphone?”

You shook your head.

“Thus I could not call —”

He held up his hand as you went to talk, “—but that is not an excuse. You are my daughter. I should have tried harder. Especially with your mind telling horrible lies.” 

You looked up at him, eyes glassy. 

He smiled, “I am glad you have kept yourself alive, even if not well. That is foundation that we can build from.”

You sniffled.

Alexei picked up your helmet, holding it to you, “wear it if you want,” he pulled it away when you reached for it, “but I do not think you have to. You are (your name), my daughter. And you look beautiful regardless.” 

You took it, but didn't have it on your head for once.

You rode in companionable silence. You felt a bit lighter, but still the darkness clawed at you. 

“There,” you said, pointing. 

Alexis started on the horn, laughing, “Ah, see? This is why I couldn't find you! You know how to hide tracks!” 

Despite yourself, you chuckled.

“YELENA!l Alexei bellowed, “YOUR SISTER AND I ARE HERE TO TELL YOU: DO NOT GO TO THE VAULT!”

Yelena looked up at the mention of you. Ava and Walker looked at each other: You were alive?

They made their way down to Alexei. Yelena got in the front, her eyes sparkling as she saw you eating snacks in the back seat, your helmet off. 

Alexei got in before she could speak. But he nodded, knowing what she was thinking. 

Ava got in, pausing as she looked at you. 

“Don't have too much,” she teased, “still need to run away, remember?”

You nodded, putting a thumb up. 

Walker got in, “You like, never get to eat any of this stuff before?” 

You paused, looking to him, before shaking your head. 

“Stuck in a lab?” Ava asked in understanding. 

“Sometimes,” you said, the pair noticing the Russian accent. 

“I'm sorry,” it was Walker who said that, in the softest voice you had heard him use. 

“Thank you,” you answered. He nodded. 

The conversation moved on to Bob. 

“He’s a bit weird, if you ask me,” Walker was back to his old self,”

“Ah,” Alexei groaned, “we all have quirks, failed Captain America.” Despite Alexei’s words being said with a happy tone, they stung Walker: “That's why we make friends, to find people who accept them.” 

Before it could continue, O.X.E forces showed up. John used his shield, you used your pistol. Ava tried to use her phase ability, only for the speaker that was used before to shriek and block her ability, forcing her to hold her ears. 

You pulled her in, feeling bullets tear into you. You fell to the floor. 

Yelena looked back, seeing you like that. It drove a rage in her. She leant out of the window, firing her pistol. 

The truck…exploded. 

Ava grabbed you, hoisting you back up, “I’ve got you,” she said. 

John was back at the window, blocking all the bullets that he could. 

Yelena knew there was a rage in her, but did it channel into her bullets —?

No, it was Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier. 

John celebrated too early. 

“Ah, shit —” he couldn't finish his celebration, as the bomb Bucky put on your car went off. 

You woke up groggily. 

“Morning,” Bucky said. 

No one else was awake yet. 

You looked to him, “you know, before everything went down with our split and Thanos, Nat spoke about you. She wanted to try find you.”

You just watched him as he continued, “And…after everything, I tried to look for you for a bit. Thought maybe I could help. You remind me of me.”

He walked to you, then paused when you flinched. He put his hands up, moving slower, “You know I spent years hating myself for what I did as the Winter Soldier…”

As you watched him, you felt the tears build, “…and I don’t think it ever goes away. But, maybe I can help you find ways to cope.” 

“Why?” You asked, voice cracking.” 

“Because you deserve to be ok,” Yelena said, still trying to wake up herself. She blinked, “You…you deserve a good life.” 

Before you could answer, the others woke up. Bucky nodded at you before getting up. 

“They tracked you through this,” Bucky held up your helmet, “she put a tracker in there.”

You looked down. You almost got them all killed.

Of course, you almost did, you piece of —

“But, Bucky said, breaking you out of your thoughts, “they also did because that slow limousine Alexei was driving.”

“Hey!” The man roared, “Do not insult my car! It was getting faster —”

“We reached top speed before the chase even began,” Yelena argued. 

Alexei sulked. 

Bucky was shit at remembering Bob’s name, but he got the gist: Valentina wanted him for her gain, another victim to abuse and having agency ripped from them. 

“If I take that,” you nodded at your helmet, “she’ll know we’re coming.”

“Oh, don’t worry, she’ll know,” Bucky said.

You all looked at him. “I have a plan.”

So, the plan changed: Stop Valentina and save Bob.

Thus, the Thunderbolts were born. 

You sat in the back of the truck with Yelena, Ava and John. 

The fatigue of the past two days was catching up with you. 

As you playfully teased John for his helmet, you felt yourself drift off. Your head went on Yelena’s shoulder as your breathing evened out. 

No one moved. No one spoke. 

“Glad she’s able to get some rest,” John said.

“Just glad she’s alive,” Ava admitted.

“Going soft?” John teased.

“Shove off,” she said, but a smile was there. 

Yelena ran her hand through your hair before planting a kiss on your head. 

You were woken up by a crash as Bucky’s “plan” started. 

Yelena and you moved in sync once again. 

However, John called your name. You hopped on his shield, and he sent you up, before you slammed back into the ground. It caused enough of a quake to knock people over. 

Ava then appeared, grabbing you and moving you from danger. Alexei then took care of the ones who fired at you. 

Then:

“Jesus, you guys. I had them unlock the front door for you,” Valentina said, “Just come up.”

You did. This was going well. You all even kept each other in check with Valentina.

It all went wrong when Bob came down. He was in a suit, going by the name of Sentry.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said.

But he did. He really did hurt you. 

Bucky lost his arm. You lost your helmet. 

The rest of you got the hell kicked out of you. 

You all limped back to the lift, Bob kicking you your helmet before the doors shut. 

You all went outside the tower.

Yelena was furious, sad, and vulnerable. She lashed out. As she turned to you, though, she paused. 

You were vomiting. 

Ava was by your side, hand on your back. 

“Are you —”

You shoved past her before letting out a guttural scream. They all watched, and even civilians looked at you. 

You fell to your knees. 

Yelena wiped at her eyes. 

John looked down.

Ava gulped.

Alexei looked heartbroken.

A knee went in front of you. You looked up.

It was Bucky.

“Sometimes screaming is a good start to healing —”

“Bucky —”

“No, I’m serious, John,” Bucky said.

“She was watching me,” you said, “through this fucking thing.”

You slammed it on the ground. Letting out another scream as you hit it again, and again, and again. 

John pushed you back gently before using his taco shield to slam into the helmet. Ava then appeared, kicking it. Bucky then caught it, bending it.

He threw it to Alexei. He threw it.

Yelena looked at you. You just looked at the helmet.

She fired at it, emptying a clip, without even looking. 

“No more, Valentina,” she vowed, walking over to you and crouching next to you. 

“Go away, Yelena.”

“No.”

Go. Away.”

She shook her head, “Not this time.” 

She grabbed your arms gently, helping you up. 

“I should have stayed with you,” she said, “I'm sorry (little sister).” 

Then, she took your hand and led the way. 

You followed, numb.

“(Daughters) wait,” Alexei called out.

“No. Go away.”

“No.”

“Then keep following us.”

“I will. Because that is what family does.” 

“Stop!” Yelena yelled. She was angry, angry about the lack of content she had in her life, the emptiness she felt, the loneliness.

Her hand squeezed yours more and more. It was a release, to let it all out. 

“When I see you both, I don't see your mistakes.”

The three of you, for the first time, hugged. As a family. 

It didn't last long. Bob had been pushed beyond a point. 

The void was what they called him, what he was. 

“We are all alone,” he said, as people disappeared. 

Yelena and you, after you all had helped lift a wall, looked at each other. 

You couldn't run anymore, it wouldn't get you anywhere. 

You reached out first. Yelena’s hand then went into yours. 

You both looked at Bob, your friend. Your pseudo-brother in arms in all this, saying one thing:

“No, you're not.”

Your hands left each other when you went into the void. 

You were back there, with Dreykov. 

You tried to shield your former self. You tried and tried and tried. 

Your nose dripped with blood from the number of hits you took.

“You can end this, little one,” Dreykov said, kneeling, holding the pistol. He put it in your hand and aimed it at your head, “all those voices. All that noise. All that pain. It can all stop.” 

You heard banging on a wall. It was desperate. You heard a muffled voice. There was a window. Blinds started to close. 

You heard banging on the window. 

It stopped. 

Then, a figure appeared, Bob.

“Hey,” was what he said. 

You looked at Dreykov. You hit him, grabbed the gun and fired at the window, before jumping through. 

You landed on the cold floor. 

“(Your name)?!” Yelena said, helping you up. 

You were in a cold blue room. A training room. 

Yelena had finished loading the gun first. 

She walked over to her younger self, making sure she didn't see it. She reached a hand out to you.

You took it, tightening the grip as the whip fell against yours and the other girls’ hands. 

A mirror held Bob. Yelena fired at it, before, hand in hand, you jumped through. 

There was another Yelena, this one passed out against a bathtub.

Your Yelena looked to you, both to see that you were still there and to see your reaction. 

You put a hand on her shoulder. 

A fight occurred, the vodka being shoved down her. 

You went to help, but real Yelena put a hand up: don't.

The next time around, you let Memory Yelena be. 

Bob showed himself again. 

Once again, thank you, you held hands and went through the mirror. 

You sat with Bob. You spoke to him, reminded him that you were there, and that you wouldn’t leave him. You opened up about your own traumas. It was healthy.

“Before, when we were escaping,” he looked at you, “you said that I was Yelena’s brother. Why?” 

“I saw the look she gave you,” you admitted, “she only gives that to family. That level of concern.”

“Sisterly concern,” the two of you finished, “I said that when we were young. Before everything.” 

“This isn't about me,” you said, looking back at Bob.

“I can't — I can't get…the void hasn't just trapped me. Yes, you entered willingly, but…”

“I think what Bob is trying to say,” Yelena said, putting a hand on his lap and another on yours, “is that we may save Bob, but you will be stuck here in the process.”

“I —” your eyes shimmered, but both just sat, watching you with patient and understanding eyes, “it hurt me when you left to find the other widows. I didn’t know where you were or how to find you.

“Memories came and went. But…I had no purpose anymore. I felt…empty. I just…” You looked at Yelena, “I just wanted it to stop.”

She gulped, but nodded. She was listening.

You heard a door below you slam. Bob’s past. An abusive dad. The room shook, chairs and objects flying at you. 

You tried to do what you could to protect yourself, the three of you linking together. 

The others then appeared, helping stem the tide.

“We all ok?” You all gave affirmatives. 

“You said that this wasn’t the worst, right?” Yelena said, looking to Bob, “Show us the worst.”

She held his arms. A promise: you were here. 

You were helping him through the kitchen. Punching his high self. 

You made it to a facility that Yelena recognised. 

There, Bob sat, with similar shapes of the void on the wall. 

You all stood together. 

But the void had other ideas. 

You were pinned, and you felt a bit of shrapnel go through your arm. 

You all called out to Bob as he started to fight back…

But fighting wasn’t working. His fists hit the void, but it started to consume him.

The shadows overtaking him. 

Yelena looked at you and Alexei. 

You both nodded, using your strength to push the metal. Yelena went under. 

The ground cracked.

Objects flew at her.

She dodged them all.

The shadows almost reached him —

Her arms went around him. 

John was next.

Alexei looked at you, “Go, (little one), Pappa will be right behind you.”

You believed him. 

You went under next, dodging what you could before you joined John and Yelena in the hug. 

Ava then joined.

Finally, Alexei and Bucky.

Bob let out a cry. A scream. He let it out. 

He cried, but you still held on.

You all fell back, still holding him. 

You were back in New York. 

Sunlight was returning. 

Aleixi had said about you brining light back. 

You saw a hand, Ava’s, being offered to you. You took it, standing up. 

She dusted you off. 

“Shall we?”

You nodded. 

You joined John and her, him giving you a tap on the back. 

Yelena saw you, holding out a hand. 

You took it. 

You confronted Valentina. She had one more trick up her sleeve, however. 

“I’d like to announce the New Avengers!” 

What the fuck?

Months went by, and you were cleaning your teeth in the bathroom. You looked at yourself, the marks on your face. 

You were still getting used to it, being nice to yourself. But a kind word every so often from the others helped you keep going.

You were a support system for each other.

A unit.

Some might even dare say, a fa—

“Bathroom free?” John asked from outside.

You spat out your toothpaste, “yeah!” 

You opened the door, smiling at John, “how are we doing today?” He asked.

You nodded, “I, um, I’m sorry about your family,” you said.

He nodded, solemnly, “Maybe I can get back to them someday, but…” he looked to you, “you guys ain’t so bad.”

You chuckled, moving past him.

You moved to the kitchen. Ava was finishing with some food.

“I don’t think you ever ate properly in your whole life,” she said, “so, to the best of my ability, I made you these.”

Omelettes. She had made you omelettes. 

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said. 

After you had eaten them, you continued on your way.

“There you are,” Yelena said. She hugged you, a now-common greeting between you. To ground you. A reminder to you that she still had you, still loved you, and wasn’t leaving. 

“Do you want to go on a walk?” 

“With all the cameras?” 

“Ah, let them take their silly photos,” Yelena said, waving off the threat, “I want us to have sister time, together.” 

“In a bit, I wish to see Bob first.”

She softened, “Alright, see you in a bit.” 

She ruffled your hair as she left. 

“Hey,” you called out, “where’s Bucky?”

“Tin arm man has gone to see, Sam. Something about a ‘copyright’ issue.” 

You nodded before continuing on your way. 

Bob was in bed, watching TV.

You knocked. 

Hearing a muffled “come in,” you did so.

“Thought you may want some company,” you said softly.

He patted the bed.

You go next to him. 

“I’m sorry if it gets annoying,” he started, “but I am grateful for you guys getting me out.”

“We always will, (brother). We have…we each other.”

He smiled, “I’m grateful to have met you guys. To have you in my corner.” 

You put your head on his shoulder, “(Me too).” 

You were. You were all a work in progress, and you would fall. But you could catch each other.

No one would get lost in the void, as long as you all had each other.

[risrambles]

I’ve seen Thunderbolts*! Here’s my full, SPOILER review!

STOP READING THIS IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS FOR MARVEL STUDIOS’ THUNDERBOLTS*

LIKE NOW.

OKAY.

Buckle up, i’ve got a lot of thoughts and a lot of word space.

Well, that was a pretty great movie! If you’ve seen my non spoiler review you’ll know I gave it an 8/10, and rightfully so. The first hour, hour and a half of the movie eats the rest of the movie up and if the ending had been as good as the first acts I would give it a 10/10. it kind of felt underwhelming and almost like it was a “power of friendship” moment—though none of these people are really friends, so maybe that’s the point.

First of all—Yelena and Bob. God, they were amazing, I loved the dynamic between them and it was really interesting to see the whole void thing come into play with how they felt about life. It was great.

The first scene when Taskmaster, Yelena, Walker, and Ghost all meet—that was amazing. my jaw DROPPED when Taskmaster got shot in the head, I wasn’t expecting her to get taken out so soon or by one of the Thunderbolts. I mean, we all knew she was a goner but I really wanted to see a little more of her. I liked her suit a lot!

Obviously, I have to talk about Bucky. I have two small complaints—one, I wish we saw a little more of him. Considering he was listed second in the credits I think he was a little underused and slightly nerfed but honestly not by much. to go off that, I WANTED TO SEE HIM IN THE VOID! the only thing we got was a nod to the fact that while he was in his void searching for yelena and bob (“i have a great past, so I’m fine” that whole thing) he obviously saw something to do with the winter soldier. call me crazy but i saw blue lights in the room behind him that he crashed through from and it gave very much cacw winter soldier flashback vibes. and i WANTED TO SEE THAT! i wished we could have seen more than yelena, bob, valentina, and walkers voids.

Oh, valentina. she was so horribly great, i was so ready for the thunderbolts to rock her shit but then she turned it around and called them the new avengers. oh i hate her so much they did so good. her assistant was kinda slay too but eh!

NOW ONTO MY COMPLAINT AS A SAMBUCKY ENTHUSIAST—WHY TF DID WE ONLY GET A MENTION OF SAM? AND IN THE POST CREDITS? Honestly, i find it crazier that sam and bucky talked off screen and they didn’t even show us. and that APPARENTLY the conversation didn’t go over well, and now sam is suing them… guys we might actually be in the sambucky divorce era im gonna crash out. can they just kiss hug it out and get over it. and considering how close they got in tfatws and we saw them talking the cabnw i just really liked their dynamic and how happy they seemed as friends and now that’s just gone (but it is funny that sam is suing bucky and co). although, it will make for an interesting dynamic come doomsday, which makes me nervous considering that bucky’s time in the mcu is coming ever so closer to an end… (someone start recommending me bucky fics NYOW)

honestly, i kind of don’t like the whole new avengers thing. i kind of wanted them to stay as the thunderbolts, as dumb as it might be. I don’t like valentina though and I really wanted them to kick her ass. it was a funny credits sequence tho, with the “new avengers? nope!” love that they’re still universally hated i guess.

BUT OH MY GOD I WAS GONNA GO FERAL FOR BUCKY IN THE POST CREDITS. GOOD LORD HE LOOKED FINE. OH EM GEE, HIS HAIR? OH THE WAVES. SOMEONE TAUGHT OUR BOY ABOUT CONDITIONER AGAIN AND HE LOOKED INCREDIBLE. PLEASE LET HIM HAVE THAT HAIR IN DOOMSDAY AND PLEASE DONT LET HIM DIE.

okay, i’ve gotten past how much i love bucky and must move on to the Other Things that happened.

now, about the INSANE DROP IN THE CREDITS? the second i saw the “fantastic four: first steps theme” in the music credits i was like oh it’s so over. AND THE SHIP? oh dude their world is so cooked, doomsday is gonna be fire AND ARE WE GONNA SEE THE THUNDERBOLTS (new avengers) AT THE END OF FFFS? ARE WE GONNA SEE THE AVENGERS AND THE NEW AVENGERS WITH THE FANTASTIC FOUR? see, that’s why thunderbolts* was a good movie! it’s got me actually planning to see Fantastic Four: First Steps because i NEED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!! i’m hooked!!!

Walkers one liners were great and even though i hate him i kinda feel for him. Yelena and Bob and Red Guardian were stand-outs; I LOVE BOB! and red guardians entrance was incredible as well, along with the car chase scene up to bucky rocking everyone’s shit.

Like i said, the first half of the movie was a 10/10; the last maybe 45 minutes was more of a 7/10. i did love the thunderbolts getting applause in the street which valentina definitely liked once she got the idea to market them as the new avengers. also the fact that they operate out of the old avengers tower? the fact that yelena and bucky are lowkey leading? the outfits that kinda ate down? i kinda vibe with it, but like i said i would hav really liked it if they weren’t considered the new avengers. maybe it would have been better if sam had shown up in the end to rally them for his cause as the avengers or if they just stayed the thunderbolts and did missions more akin to what steve and nat did in the beginning of catws. obviously not with them unknowingly working for hydra, but them as undercover ops would be cool.

idk! i just got out of the movie like an hour ago and i can’t remember it all right now bc it was so much good content.

tldr: the characters were great, the movie was solid/great, the post credits were worth it/insane and the story was good. if i missed anything that anyone wants me to cover (as if im some prime news source lmao, i am not, im just a mcu blogger who has been waiting for years for this movie) then lmk!

I HAVE TAGGED THIS POST AS SPOILERS AND INCLUDED A CUT!!! IF YOU SEE THIS AND DONT WANT TO, I TAGGED IT AND MADE SURE TO PUT A WARNING AND A CUT!!! IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS FILTER OUT THE TAG!!!

[the-anxious-stargazer]

About You || Ava Starr

Pairing: Ava Starr x Fem!Reader

Summary: As Ava enters the void that had taken Yelena, she is forced to face her deepest pain and it was not what she thought she would be seeing.

Words: 5.2k

Note: i am sorry for all the angst for this one, but hey i never write sad endings so hope you'll enjoy this!!! this is sort of a continuation of my recent work so please check it out as well! genuinely hoped we got to see Ava's void room too so i thought of this. also im loving the surge of Ava fics now that she's getting all the love.

[Masterlist]

・ ‥…━━━━━━━━━━☆☆☆━━━━━━━━━━…‥ ・

"I'm going after her."

Ava took a deep breath while pulling out Taskmaster's sword from her belt. She marches towards where Yelena had disappeared like a shadow and someone grabs her arm,

"And then what?" It was Bucky who reasonably questioned her action.

"If she did that, she did it for a reason." Ava points out, worrying about the blonde's safety. As much as Bucky wanted to believe her point of view, his judgement got the best of him and shots back at her,

"Well what if she's dead, huh? What if there's no coming back?"

Ava stares at the growing darkness outside thinking of something. Anything other than just standing around and waiting for it to take all of them. Even if Yelena had said terrible things about the brunette five minutes ago, she still cared for her. The brunette bit her lip as she tried to convince herself that there's still hope for her.

Just a sliver of hope.

"What if she isn't." Her voice filled with wonder.

Behind her John had his eyebrows furrowed while he tried to figure something out and remembered what had happened when he pulled Bob up from the hole they climbed out of earlier. The vision he saw himself being dismissive and cruel towards his now ex-wife. He had hoped to not be reminded of his regrets letting things go too far between him and Olivia. John wanted to pretend it was just a dream, yet deep down he knew he could never lie to himself about the divorce. John tries to rationalize his vision before opening it up to the team,

"Wait, wait, wait— I think she might be right. Back in the vault I went somewhere I can't explain." He joins in, pushing himself off the wall.

"What happened?" Alexie asks, still grieving for his daughter.

Everyone could hear the desperation in the Russian's voice and none of them could blame him for his state. He already lost a daughter, and sure as hell he could not afford losing his last one. Deep down Alexie knew he didn't deserve to feel the grief he felt after abandoning Yelena to deal with her emptiness but he wanted to change that. He can't let his daughter down again.

"When I grabbed Bob's hand in the vault I saw a vision. Something that happened before that made me feel so dull... So empty." John took a deep breath and remembered the look on his ex-wife's face when he walked out of the room and left her to look after their baby.

"It did bring me back to where I was after. It could be a portal of some sort."

"Maybe that's it! We enter the shadow and find Yelena. If we try hard enough we can get her back!" Alexie vouched for.

"Stop, we can't just jump to conclusions. We could all just turn into nothing and never return even if what Walker says is true." Bucky chimes in without realizing that Ava had already escaped his grip.

"Then I would rather die trying than accept that Yelena's gone. It can't be for nothing, Barnes." The brunette concluded before she put on her helmet and pushed through the growing void nearing them.

"It can't be all for nothing."

They watch in awe as Ava disappears in the void similarly to the rest of the civilians outside.

Ava felt her soul drop the moment she stepped into it. The heaviness of her body was overwhelming when she had awoken. She checked her body for anything missing though everything in her body was still in place. No phasing or pain, her body was put together. Her grey eyes looked around and recognized the old warehouse her father had bought in order to continue his quantum physics research. The loud creeks of the machine made her snap her head to its direction and there she saw her father's panicked figure running back to the computer. Elihas kept entering all the codes he thought that could stop the quantum tunnel from collapsing. It was Ava's first time to see how terrified her father was in that moment when she stood close to where he stood. He constantly muttered 'no' under his breath as he watched the screen flash red continuously.

"Daddy..." Ava almost sounded like her young self when she called for him.

She had almost forgotten how he looked as she stared into his side profile. All those years of suffering and pain had Ava forgetting her parents' voice and features, and she hated herself for letting it happen. Her mother's sweet voice when she sings her a lullaby to sleep was her favorite memory of her that she still holds dear to this day. As for her father, his stories about animals and insects piqued her interest. Ava wished to hear more of them when she grew, but her memory couldn't hold all those precious moments forever.

Elihas turned to the brunette when it looked like he heard her voice and she watched before her eyes as the quantum tunnel explodes, a quantum wave pushing him off from the computer. Ava reacted fast and untangled her physical body before the wave could hit her, but to her surprise it sent her flying. A loud thud was heard when the brunette landed on her side and she gasped from the force she felt when her body reappeared again. Her mask retracts when she tried to brush the pain off.

Ava turned her body at the sight of her father on the ground before the door to the lab was pushed wide open and her young self ran out to him, her mother tailing behind her.

"No—" Both her and Elihas cautioned them before huge waves of quantum energy bursts from the quantum tunnel.

Everything went black after.

Ava's ears rang from it all as she slowly opened her eyes and processed what she just witnessed. She couldn't believe that she had just relived that memory. Examining the area, she grasps that she was brought back to where she was earlier. She witnesses as Elihas rushes back in to reach for the computer to try saving his research and she shakes her head when she learns that her memory had repeated itself.

"No... not again." Ava uttered before she tried to reach for the door and get out of the memory. The metal frame wouldn't budge as she attempted to kick it open when pulling didn't work.

The brunette used her ability to phase past it and it felt like crashing into a brick wall when she couldn't get through it. A curse slipped out of Ava's lips at the failed attempts and continued to thinker for another way out around the lab, realizing the windows were too high for her to escape from. She felt the wave shove her off again but she quickly recovered this time and noticed a huge hole next to the door. Ava didn't let herself hesitate any further and ran towards it.

Yet before she could reach her exit, another wave pushed her off and it crashed her into another room instead. A cough came out of her as she tried to catch her breath on the floor when she gained consciousness again. Ava had landed on her stomach this time and she used her body weight to turn herself around, recognizing the ceiling of the room she had entered.

She stands up from the well tiled floor and studies the room only to notice the marbled counter tops and appliances resting on them. She couldn't forget that old yellow stand mixer that rested next to the microwave. The familiar furniture placed in the room and the vase that was frequently filled with a variety of flowers were the same as it was from how she left. Ava took off her gloves when she slowly paced to the fridge and saw the picture she had kept in the inner pockets of her suit, tenderly rubbing the face of the person she had missed dearly. Out of the rest of her pained memories she had in mind, this was the excruciating of them all that she hoped to never go through again.

It could have been the moment she sacrificed an innocent civilian during a mission for Valentina or her brutal training for SHIELD as their assassin—

But it was the kitchen she shared with Y/N.

A sinking feeling in her stomach formed when she sensed her presence. Ava then faces where she felt her and sees her former lover's back facing her as she leans by the counter with her head hung. The brunette remembered the Paramore shirt Y/N wore that day and how she had her hair down. It hurt just by seeing her in that very spot, knowing what was going to transpire.

"Ava please, you told me last week it would be the last mission." Y/N croaked and she wrapped her arms around herself.

God how Ava hated hearing the exhaustion in her voice. She noticed her former lover's tears falling casually as she had given up fighting them back for so long. Ava remembered that Y/N asked her to stop taking calls from Val as they were progressively getting questionable. She should have put her foot down on that deviled woman's demands when she had promised that she would. But Ava let her ego get the best of her. The brunette then saw her past self enter the room with a clenched jaw and she had wished she had the luxury to punch her face in that moment,

"Valentina said this is a crucial one and I cannot let this one pass." She dismisses Y/N off.

"After this one, it will be the last. I'll make sure Val understands that." Ava continues before approaching her lover's spot.

"Do you even know what day your mission is?" Y/N almost begged her to put the dots together, yet her question only annoyed the brunette even more.

"Thursday— what does it matter to you? Why are you making such a fuss about this?" She heard her ask her and it broke Y/N's heart.

"You damn fool." Ava comments about her past self.

She observed the way the woman shut her eyes in defeat. With fresh eyes, she realizes how beat Y/N was after she let things boil down this way. It was like her life was being sucked out of her as their relationship crumbled.

The brunette stepped close to her and focused more on her former lover's past self. Ava has never seen her slump like this before. The slight drain of contrast from her face indicated her stress and lack of proper rest. Y/N's eyes were sore from crying and she figured she'd been doing so before her old self arrived home.

The way her heart skipped as she dawned her eyes on her let Ava know that her feelings stayed a year after Y/N broke up with her and just waited for Ava to move out of their shared home. Yearning for her after their split kept her distracted from her work. Those sleepless nights where she tried to look for her body warmth that were long gone and it made things worse when her scent faded from one of her hoodies that she stole. Val took notes when she got sloppy every now and then and it took her almost twelve months to convince herself that she's grown to let their love go.

And here was Ava tearing up as she continued to watch the memory unfold.

"Oh I don't know— my promotion party? The day my boss lets me breathe after years of being a pushover!? Maybe that's what I'm making a deal out of Ava!" Y/N lets herself explode after months of holding it all together.

"You missed some of our planned dates, you barely acknowledge me when you're home and the only time you do is when the food tastes off or when I mess up our laundry." She continues as she covers her face with her hand.

"You're not even trying to hide that you're done trying for us! For god's sake Ava no matter how many times I have told you that I need you, you keep giving empty promises—"

"I have a life too!" Ava retorted.

"I'm trying my best to manage my work-life balance. My job needs me too, Y/N! Why can't you understand that?" Y/N drops her hand from her face and shakes her head in disbelief.

She couldn't believe that she was using that excuse again.

"Ava I'm not trying to attack you. I just want you to hear how I feel and to see you try for me— try for us." Y/N finally faces her, seeing her bloodshot eyes.

"I am trying, why do you not see that?" The brunette's defensiveness finally broke her.

"Stop defending yourself." Ava and Y/N's past self say in unison.

"Don't fight her please." The brunette pleaded to herself.

She wanted to look away in order to spare herself from reopening her wounds, but she would not let herself. Ava's self-awareness beat her to it,

Ava knew she needed to face her deepest regret.

"For fuck sake Ava Starr, why can't you understand that I'm not trying to attack your character!? I just want you to listen to me— comfort me!" Y/N practically begs before she loses balance on her knees and falls on the ground.

Both Ava and her past self tried to reach onto her, although her past self hesitated to catch her while the present Ava held both of her hands. She didn't realize that she could interact. Feeling her touch brought back chills that she never thought she could witness again. Y/N shakes with sobs as her grip on Ava's hands tighten. The brunette's heart continues to sting at the sight of her state.

After everything they have been through together, Ava couldn't bear that their relationship would reach this point. They had survived from The Blip, gone past grieving for their lost loved ones, and accompanied each other through their individual hardships. Y/N was right, Ava had been too complacent. The security of their relationship had her reducing her efforts. She deserved being celebrated and taken care of, but here she was crying her heart out on the kitchen floor asking for her partner to do something.

"You don't even want to hold me. Do you even want me at all?" Ava hears her cry. The brunette crouched down to match her level and couldn't find the right words to say to her.

"...I-I can't do this, Ava." Y/N whimpers in between her sobs.

"Let's take a breather, love. We'll talk about it—"

"I meant this, us." She prevented her from finishing her sentence and turned to her direction to see the disturbed look on Ava's face.

Ava watches her let go of her hands and look at her past self. The brunette could see how dumbfounded she was as she stared at Y/N.

"I'm exhausted from lying to myself that you still want us to work this out." Tears started to pool Ava's eyes as she started to catch up to what was happening.

"We can and we will. Please give me more time." Ava tries to take a hold of her hand but she flinches.

"I'm sorry but it's over, Ava. I can't take—"

A loud crash caught all their attention as the china cabinet blew into pieces when a few bodies flew out. Ava suddenly activated her helmet to suit up and unsheathe her sword to prepare herself from danger. She hides herself behind the island in order to assess her situation before striking.

"Ava are you here??" One of them sort of yelled and she recognized their voice.

"Ghost lady, it's us!"

The brunette took a peek, realizing it was Bucky and Alexie looking rugged from the crash. Both supersoldiers wore the same clothes that they had the last time Ava saw them. A sigh was heard from her as she withdrew her helm before she forcibly wiped her tears away, revealing herself to them.

"How did you guys get here?" Ava questions, putting away the sword and coming to them.

"Walker was telling the truth! I woke up in my house—"

"There's no time. Let's go and find John before he gets stuck in his room." Bucky abruptly lets her know before the Red Guardian could start rambling, rushing to the front door by breaking into it.

Ava looks back to past Y/N who stared at her. Her tearstricken face almost had her glued to her position, but she knew that this wasn't real and it was only a painful memory.

She finally held herself accountable for what happened.

"I'm so sorry, Darling... For everything." Ava voiced to her before she followed the supersoldiers to the next room.

・ ‥…━━━━━━━━━━☆☆☆━━━━━━━━━━…‥ ・

Standing in front of the porch of her previous home brought mixed emotions to Ava Starr as she noticed the obvious changes of the landscaping. A bird feeder could be seen near the willow tree filled with assorted seeds and the rose bushes had been replaced with breathtaking smooth hydrangeas. It was something Y/N had been wanting to do when they were still together but had no time to spare from her work. They were neatly planted and it brought more life to the appearance of her house as the sun slowly readies itself to set.

Ava thought the hydrangeas looked marvelous.

So much so that the bouquet of lilies she had bought with Bucky this morning in the supermarket couldn't compare and she hesitated for a second.

Part of her wanted to leave them by the doormat and never come back, but she knew to herself that being a coward would not get her anywhere. Bill didn't raise her to give up so easily. Besides, Yelena wouldn't let her back out either when she's only a few meters away in a black sedan. Even though the Russian's persistence to watch over her was annoying, she appreciated her support.

Ava had worn simpler clothes than her black combat suit. She didn't want things to be more complicated if she saw her in them and her abilities had been better. A simple grey pantsuit with a white tee shirt underneath looked good on her. Alexie and John had insisted for Ava to be more presentable although she thought their suggestion was over the top. Her thoughts ended up being a scramble whether she put on a pantsuit or just plain jeans. Bob had the idea to mix both formal and casual look. She liked his opinion and she paired it with her hair down this time than how she usually does with a low bun.

Taking a deep breath, Ava dragged her feet to the front door with nervousness accompanying each step. She awkwardly paused by the doormat and chewed her bottom lip as she felt herself hold back from reaching for the button. The hesitation from her end was frustrating and Ava hated it.

All she had to do was press the damn button so why was it so unnerving to do so?

Even Yelena who was watching from the distance groaned at her.

Before she could ring the doorbell, the front door carefully opened and revealed Y/N. Ava thought she could handle herself from seeing her again after witnessing their last memory in her Void Room, yet her heart betrays her as it beats uncontrollably. Y/N's face was unreadable by the way she bore her eyes at Ava who stiffly stood in front of her with wide eyes, like she couldn't believe she was real.

"I—" Ava made an attempt to speak and she felt her throat go dry.

Y/N's features had grown for the last sixteen months for the better. The heavy bags that used to rest on under her eyes had lessened and the colors of her face were brighter than the last time she saw her. Hair was a bit shorter, they were a bit past her shoulders. But the rest was unchanged. She had maintained her body weight and her coral blossom blouse matched with some black slacks and loafers covered her. Y/N had just gotten off work and was about to unwind. The woman's eyes still looked at her the same way.

Ava thought she was as beautiful as the day she watched her go.

"Hi Ava..." Y/N was able to bring herself to acknowledge her presence. The brunette stares into her eyes and couldn't help but feel her stomach churn. Listening to her voice brought butterflies to her stomach.

"Hi Y/N." Ava greets her with a straight lip before she slowly continues, "May I come in?"

She had anticipated for her to be rejected with a slammed door, instead she was met with the opposite. Ava watch as Y/N open the door wider for her to be welcomed,

"I've been waiting for you to make a move. You have been awkwardly standing there for almost 10 minutes. My doorcam thought you were an intruder." Ava cringes at the idea.

"Apologies. I was— trying to get myself to do it." She admits as she enters the foyer and notices how everything was almost still in place. But before she could let herself get distracted, Ava hands the lilies to her with a blush.

"For you." She shared and saw Y/N handle them with care.

"These are beautiful, Ava. Thank you. Let me just put them somewhere nice." A rare smile appears before she puts them aside.

Y/N excused herself and disappeared in the kitchen. Ava let her curiosity get the best of her and strut her way to the living room where a show was playing on the TV. A picture frame caught her attention by the console table and she approached to pick it up to see a picture of them and Dr. Foster laughing in the frame. Ava remembered it was taken in one of Bill's gatherings. He had invited the two to join him as his company and she recalls how inept she was from trying to hold a conversion with other guests. If it weren't for Y/N's instinct to take over for her, she would have embarrassed herself.

The corner of Ava's lips curve at the memory. She felt at ease knowing that she still had that frame up and placed it back to its resting spot before Y/N found her. She had removed the plastic wrap and placed the flowers in a medium sized vase with water.

"There we go, perfect." Y/N happily settles it down next to the picture.

"So, New Avengers, huh?" She starts as she faces Ava with an awkward smile. It had the brunette scratching the back of her neck at the mention of her new group.

"It's... not what you think it is. Valentina tricked us all into it and now we're stuck with the name." Ava tries to explain.

Y/N tilts her head before asking, "What do you mean?".

"Val had us all gathered to be killed whilst she tried washing the blood off her hands. As Barnes says, we were her 'most crucial evidence' to impeach her. Now she's stuck with us." She went on further and saw her nod slowly as she processed the information.

"Well, I'm happy I didn't hold you back. I'm sure Dr. Foster is proud of you."

Ava knew she meant well. Although, it aches her heart knowing that the woman felt like she held her back from her potential. She reaches for Y/N's hands and reluctantly holds them. She was almost scared that they were too delicate for her to touch. A spark of hope ignites in her when she realizes she wasn't pulling away from her just yet. Y/N lets her do what the brunette pleases and keeps her eyes on her.

A year later and those careful eyes made Ava so vulnerable.

"Y/N I—" She cuts herself off and tries to hold herself together.

"It's okay, take your time." Y/N reassures her and it was enough to crumble those walls she has put up after experiencing their last memory.

"W-What happened between us, I know I don't deserve to be welcomed here. How I treated you was unfair and cruel. I was a fool to treat you aside and let myself get carried away in my work." Ava opens to her, avoiding her anticipating look.

"I'm aware that I am way too late to apologize but for what it's worth, I am sorry for everything." She feels Y/N's touch pull away from hers.

Ava felt empty at the loss of her warmth. She was so distracted by it that she hadn't noticed the tears falling. Gentle hands made their way to her jaw and guided her view back to Y/N's concerned expression. Her eyes furrowed at the sight of Ava tearing up in front of her and she captured a tear with her thumb, caressing her cheek in the process. She had missed the woman's warmth so much that she leaned into it. Both could hear their chests pounding from how close they were to each other. Y/N joins her and silently cries at her confession.

"I have forgiven you in my heart long ago, Ava Starr." She croaked as her eyes softened. The brunette couldn't believe it in her heart. How could she just pardon her like that?

"How?" Ava let her curiosity get the best of her,

"How could you forgive me so easily after everything I put you through?" Y/N's smile was tender as she listened to her.

"You're not the only one with regrets, Ava. Yes, you were unfair to me in the end, but it doesn't define who you are and how you were throughout our relationship." Y/N admits with sorrow in her tone,

"I regret letting your nightmare come true and walking out of your life."

Ava remembers what she meant. She recalls when they were still hiding in Bill's house and she was crying to herself after her sleep was cut short. Her heart aches at the memory of them that night and she remembers the promise the woman before her made. Y/N's breathing started to come short as small hiccups accompany her sobs and it made Ava worry. She gently pulls her in her arms and comforts her, stroking her hair. The gesture had Y/N hold onto her and sob into her shirt, ruining it with her mascara. She admits that she hasn't let herself cry about them after so long while being preoccupied with her life.

"It's okay, Love, breathe." Ava coos as she lets her pour her feelings.

Calling her by their previous pet names rolled right through her tongue. Ava's voice brought shivers down her spine. Y/N could tell she kept the same scent she used all these years while she tried to relax her breathing. She remembers that she gifted that perfume to her during one of their dates.

When she is finally able to pull herself together, Y/N pulls slightly away from her and studies her features that she had missed. The moles above her left eyebrow and left cheek that were her favorite to kiss, her grey eyes that bore the same beauty the first time they met, and her lips that were plump as ever. She stares at them longer, longing to feel them against hers. Ava observed her as registered what was happening and she slowly closed the gap between them, meeting her half way to capture Y/N's lips with a soft kiss. One that they both missed after a year of separation.

It was slow, both of them savored each other's chapstick and Ava couldn't help but squeeze her hips gently. Y/N was the one to deepen the kiss as she moved her arms to her neck, using one of her hands to run them through her hair. It was Ava who pulled away from the kiss as she gasped for air. Y/N follows along while she keeps her arms in place, looking into her piercing grey eyes to get lost in them.

"I still love you, Y/N. I always have." Ava admitted,

"I thought I could let things go by letting myself wrapped up in my work, but all I ever did was lie to myself about how I felt from it all." She continues to reflect.

"If you could find it in your heart to give me another chance, I will make up for all the lost time we had. I won't let things go south this time." Y/N smiles hopefully at her assurance.

"Things will go south no matter what happens, Ava." Y/N offered solace to her.

"But what matters is how we'll get through it all, together." Y/N's words brought light to the brunette's eyes, "D-Do you mean...?"

"That I still want you? Of course I still do." She clears the confusion between her words.

"What makes you think I could move on when I still sleep in the same bed that we shared? I can't even bring myself to throw away our framed pictures in our bedroom or your old skin-tight suit in my closet." Y/N reveals as she plays with Ava's baby hair by her nape.

"I think about you every now and then, Ava. I've missed you." Her honesty had the brunette smile with her eyes. Y/N loved that smile of hers and she plants a peck at the corner of her lips,

"I've missed you too, way too much." Ava felt the weight that she carried earlier had been lifted when she let those words out.

They stayed in the moment until they noticed the sky darken from the living room window and they moved to the couch instead. The show that Y/N had left on had been forgotten while the two caught up with each other's lives. Ava had learned that Y/N was still working in the same company but her manager had been changed for the better. Bill had also visited her during her birthday and Scott had given her his book through mail with a handwritten letter asking how she's been. Y/N on the other hand had listened to Ava's stories about her team and how she and Yelena had been close as of recently. She still couldn't believe the whole 'we were sent to kill each other but we're good now' thing so she moved past it.

"So... what happens to us now?" Ava wondered as she fiddled with the woman's fingers.

"...We take things slow for now. I still need time to get used to this again before we can take the next step." Y/N answers gently.

"We can start by... having dinner! Are you staying for long?" Ava nods with a shy smile painted on her face. The woman then beams at her answer,

"Good, I hope you're patient because you're helping me pan-fry some salmon." Y/N informed her before she got off the couch to head to the kitchen. Ava doesn't realize that she meant now as she follows her behind.

When she walks past the window, Ava notices a black sedan parked in front of the house, recalling that a certain Russian was waiting for her call before she scrambled for her phone in the inner pocket of her blazer.

"Hang on, I have to call Yelena!"

・ ‥…━━━━━━━━━━☆☆☆━━━━━━━━━━…‥ ・

a/n: i hope you enjoyed! have a great day and feel free to send requests!

[civilbucky]

I saw thunderbolts today 🥹

NON SPOILER OPINIONS!

i think for starters the casting was done BEAUTIFULLY!

lewis pullman did an amazing job as bob and i would actually die for him. 10/10

this movie was such a breath of fresh air. marvel i feel like actually listened to what fans wanted and did a great job.

laughed way more than i expected??? had my ass giggling so much omg.

i feel like people saying this movie sucked or was mid missed the point IMO

it was sooooooo nice seeing accurate super soldier strength and little details pertaining to them being super soldiers. *chefs kiss*

THUNDERBOLTS SPOILERS AHEAD

I WAS SO FUCKING FERAL I CANT BELIEVE HOW MUCH SCREENTIME BUCKY HAS

YELENA AND ALEXEI???? OH MY GOOOOOOOOD WHEN ALEXEI SAVES THAT LITTLE GIRL AND IMMEDIATELY GET SMOKES WAS SO FUCKING CRUEL HE SAW YOUNG YELENA AND I COULDVE SWORN SHE WAS GONNA DIE LIKE SOME TWISTED ASS FORESHADOWING 😭 their relationship in this movie actually hurt me so much i loved getting more from them!!! also the thunderbolts being named after her soccer team was so sweet. alexei was such a dad and SHOWED UP! even after being torn into by yelena.

i loved wyatt russell. i think hes such an amazing actor and i feel like we get so much more walker that shows his true color. i love that marvel doesnt try and make him a hero nor do they try and make him "redeemable". he truly is himself and selfish in ways where he puts himself first and then others second. his wife leaving him and taking his child are the consequences of his own actions, and we can empathize with him without feeling like they were trying to make us love him. he is such an interesting character and i loved him in this movie.

WHY WOULD THEY KILL TASKMASTER SO EARLY ON?!?! SHE HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND IT WOULDVE BEEN AMAZING TO SEE!!! i get its more comic accurate but she was such a fascinating character. wish i couldve seen her more.

i feel like ghost didnt have as much depth in this movie compared to quantumania. i still loved her character in this movie and she was quick as shit on her feet talkin mad shit to john which KILLED ME they were all so funny 💀 she was so useful and brutally honest and i could gush over her all day.

and now to bucky... my main MAN 😫 PERSONALLY WOULDNT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HANDLE HIS VOID I WAS CRYING ENOUGH IN THAT MOVIE!!! i wouldve loved to see it but it was so nice watching a movie where he wasnt constantly suffering. he is such an amazing character and i was sobbing at the fact that he never truly wanted to fight and was always thrown into wars, and now he was saving people and working with a team to try and help people rather than killing them. their faces when people were cheering for them had me losing it in the theater. i feel like to a point valentina did rope him in to be the new avengerz (hehe thank you alexei) but he seemed genuinely happy and i feel like itll be so good for him to feel like he can do good and prove it to himself.

alSO HIM AND SAM FIGHTING AND BEING BORDERLINE ENEMIES???? COME FUCKING ON NOW!!!!! i feel like sam shouldve been supportive but i completely understand the anger about the name. but my baby is doing so good leave him alone!!! he wants to do good!!!! (i dont truly believe they are enemies. i think they have such a solid foundation they will come back from this but it broke my heart)

personally could talk about bob all day. the way his back story was set up and his home life??? DAMN!!! he was an anazing character with such a range and depth that lewis pullman really hit it out of the park. sentry was so haunting to see and the void really had me crying in the club. showing how much it can help you to just lean on your friends around you was such an amazing touch. after the post credit scenes of him not being sentry/the void anymore i am so excited and curious for what they do in doomsday!!! GAHHHHHH BOB I LOVE YOU!!!

all in all 100000000/10 the mental health and leaning on people for help was so beautiful and well done. yelena taking responsibility and telling bob that she was wrong about shoving it down was something to BEHOLD. i absolutely loved this movie and i think all characters being their authentic self really made it.

[dirtyvulture]

Knight Falls - Part 4

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Wolverine!Reader

18+ only, read at your own risk

Summary: Your perfect life with Natasha isn't meant to stay that way with the Red Room still looking for her.

Word count: 3782

AN: The final part! Thanks to everyone who supported and read this series and finally encouraged me to finish it. :)

Click here to read Part 3.

“You weren’t quite strong enough, so I guess I have to finish it myself,” Natasha says, eyeing Dreykov’s desk with a little trepidation.

“What are you going to do?” Even he doesn’t have the foresight to predict her plan.

Natasha doesn’t even steel herself with a breath before she slams her face onto his desk, hearing the satisfying crunch of her nose give way before the explosive pain waters her eyes.

“Sever the nerve,” she tells him, but before she can punch the smug expression of his face, the door bangs open. Taskmaster drags you in. You look like you fought a pack of lions and lost. Your previously white shirt is in tatters and soaked in blood, and she can tell something is wrong with your legs by the way they’re awkwardly folded underneath you.

“Y/N!” she calls out, but you hardly seem to react to her. Taskmaster puts a gun to your head. “Don’t!” she says, fearful that you might not survive getting shot again. 

“That is not for her,” Dreykov says, “It’s for you.”

BANG.

Natasha isn’t fast enough to move out of the way and the bullet rips through her thigh. Her leg buckles and she falls, crawling to take cover behind Dreykov’s desk. She sees you throw yourself at Taskmaster to knock him off balance, but you can’t do much more than that and he pushes you off easily, continuing to advance towards Natasha.

She looks at her surroundings frantically for something she can use as a weapon as Taskmaster nears her. Dreykov’s hand slams a button under his desk and he backs away as red warning lights and alarms sound off. 

“Kill them both,” she hears Dreykov instruct Taskmaster.

“You think it’s that easy?” you mumble; Natasha can barely hear your weak voice over the alarms. You shuffle to block Dreykov’s path to the door. “Trust me, bub, I’ve tried a lot of things and I’m not going anywhere.”

Dreykov sighs as if you’re just a simple annoyance. “Kill this one first,” he says in Russian, beckoning Taskmaster over. Natasha wishes she could breathe a sigh of relief as his attention is taken away from her, but she’s worried you won’t survive another fight against him.

You cling onto the wall for support as you drag yourself into a standing position. “Take off your mask,” you say, “I want you to look me in the eye when you kill me.”

“We can kill you as many times as we need,” Dreykov says, snapping his fingers. Taskmaster raises his gun again.

“Good luck with that.” You look beyond Dreykov and Taskmaster to make eye contact with Natasha. Despite that she can’t communicate telepathically with you, she seems to know exactly what you’re thinking as your eyes shift over to Dreykov’s desk and you subtly press your body weight against the wall. 

Brace for impact.

She hunkers down beside the desk, feeling the protest in her wounded leg, just in time as a colossal wave of movement tilts the room almost 45-degrees to the right. Dreykov loses his balance and goes sliding into the window, while Taskmaster manages to hold his balance–but just barely. The room groans and angles back to the left.

“What the hell is that?” Dreykov roars. 

Outside his ceiling-to-floor windows, a large, dark-gray jet lowers into view. When Natasha squints, she can see Storm in the cockpit, and her heart leaps with joy. She nods at Natasha, and the clouds darken and thunder booms. The Red Room’s aircraft jostles again as the jet moves closer.

You’re back to fighting Taskmaster again, slashing at him and forcing him to retreat towards the windows. The sight of the Blackbird has raised your morale, and you surprise yourself when you finally catch a chink in his armor and his blood spills onto your claws.

The Blackbird steadies itself and a ramp lowers, Scott and Jean appearing in their ridiculous yellow-and-blue costumes that you swore you would rather die than publicly wear, but you’ve never been so happy to see them.

You pull Taskmaster close to your face and can hear wheezing behind his mask. “Fuck you,” you spit, shoving him back so hard he breaks through the window. As he stumbles to find his balance on the ledge, Scott blasts him with a pair of ruby-red optic beams. Taskmaster is knocked completely off the aircraft by the force, but it hardly gives you any satisfaction to watch him fall to his death (mostly because it was by Scott’s hand over yours).

Jean levitates her and Scott over to the broken window. 

“Need a hand?” Scott yells out over the sound of the wind.

“I almost had him,” you grumble. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Jean asks. You know she’s read your mind and the things you’ve thought about in the last hour. It’s more embarrassing than annoying, and you don’t want her worrying about you. 

“I’m fine,” you grunt, even though everyone in the room can tell you’re lying.

“The professor told us to grab something,” Scott says, catching you as you slump forward, suddenly overwhelmed by exhaustion. “Can you get on the Blackbird?”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Just…one…more thing.” You point to Natasha and Dreykov in the corner of the room. 

“Do you want our help–”

“No. Go.” Jean looks uncomfortable at leaving you, but Scott urges her on and they disappear into the hall. Natasha gets to Dreykov before you can, but you trust she can handle herself. While you are no longer leaking blood all over the floor, you are still not in good shape and all you really want is to drink a case of beer and sleep for a week. 

Natasha looms over Dreykov, and the first punch she lands on him is almost euphoric. For years, she had imagined putting her hands on this man and now she was finally here. After all the pain he had caused her, the humanity he had stripped from her, she wanted him to pay for all of it.

“Please, please,” Dreykov begs as he hunches down, Natasha raining blow after blow on him. She couldn’t believe he was begging for her mercy, after all the times his subjects did the same and he turned a blind eye to them. She didn’t stop, punching and kicking him harder and harder until her knuckles bled and she couldn’t feel her shins. 

In the background, you stagger towards them. You hear footsteps down the hall, glad that Scott and Jean had found whatever they needed so quickly, until you start counting and realize there are far more than two pairs of footsteps approaching. Looking over your shoulder just in time, you see a group of Widows crowd into Dreykov’s office. The lead Widow wields some kind of harpoon gun and you barely move in time to block Natasha from their view as the spear launches out and goes through your thigh.

Natasha hears your howl of pain and turns away from Dreykov, shocked to see the Widows surrounding you. She looks back at Dreykov, crawling away from her, his face a bloody pulp from her hands. The Widows yank you off your feet with the rope attached to the spear and converge on you. 

“No!” Natasha screams, limping over to help you. She doesn’t care about killing Dreykov anymore; she won’t lose you. She grabs onto the first Widow she can reach, throwing her to the side and kicking another in the back of the knees. But they outnumber her, and based on the way you are laying limply on the floor, you’re in no state to help her. 

Natasha will fight for you until her last breath.

She is easily knocked over and stomped on, punched and electrocuted. Her vision swims as she crawls towards you, reaching for your bloody hand. Your eyes aren’t open anymore and she isn’t sure if you’re even breathing.

“Y/N,” she whispers, wishing she had the privacy and energy to say more. “Please don’t leave me…”

BANG.

Natasha ducks down, thinking another gun has gone off. Suddenly, the kicks and punches stop. She lifts her head and sees red powder sprinkling down from the ceiling. The Widows have backed away from her, staring at each confusedly as if they didn’t know how they got here. 

“You’ve all been freed,” Jean says. “Get this ship on the ground and get out of here.”

The Widows look at her as if they each have a million questions on their minds–and they probably do. Even Natasha isn’t totally sure what happened.

“Go now,” Jean emphasizes, and the Widows react stiffly, as if being forced by an invisible hand to turn around and march out of the room like robots. Natasha crawls over to you and nudges you gently. She holds her breath when you don’t respond at first, until finally your eyes crack open. 

“N-Natasha,” you whisper. 

“I’m here,” she says, rubbing your arm. 

“Don’t forget,” you wheeze, grasping for her hand, “That son of a bitch.”

Natasha’s head snaps up to the corner of the room where Dreykov has hunched down, trying to make himself smaller as if that will hide him. Heart pounding in her chest, she goes over to him, snagging a letter opener she sees on his desk.

“You can’t kill me,” Dreykov challenges, although he shrinks down even further. 

“Yes I can,” Natasha says, striking him across the face for emphasis. She would never let another person tell her what she could and couldn’t do. Besides, how many people had she killed while working for the Red Room? She had dreams and nightmares about killing him, and now she finally had the perfect opportunity. She has to do this now, even though the thought of another death on her hands (even Dreykov’s) made her sick to her stomach. 

“You are a failure,” Dreykov says, trying to get to his feet but Natasha slams him back down again. “You never listened to orders. You always hesitated when we asked you to put down a subject.”

“That doesn’t make me a failure,” she whispers, emotion clogging her throat. She draws the letter opener back, aiming for his neck with hesitancy and Dreykov catches her wrist before more than an inch of the blade can sink into his shoulder. 

He laughs. “You can’t even kill me right,” he says. “After everything I did to you.”

“You deserve far worse than this.” Natasha tries pushing the letter opener down harder, but he matches her strength equally. 

“I will not die to your hand, Natalia.”

She yanks her wrist away from him, tears of defeat burning her eyes. “Maybe not mine. But what about hers?”

You suddenly appear behind Natasha, pushing her out of the way as the silver claws slide out from between your knuckles. Dreykov looks at you, the malice in his black eyes dissolving into pure fear. 

“Wait–” he pleads, raising his hands in submission. You descend on him with a snarl, plunging your claws deep into his belly. Dreykov tries pushing you away, but he’s losing too much blood too quickly. His face pales and his final words slow. “No, please–”

“Enjoy hell,” you growl, ripping your claws out and he slides to the floor, gurgling and shaking. You turn towards Natasha and open your arms to take her in a hug. She nearly knocks you off your feet, but having her body against yours is something you’ll never take for granted again. 

“Thank you,” she whispers as you kiss her forehead. “I thought I could, but–”

“You did fine, darling,” you say. 

“Are you okay?” she asks. There’s hardly an inch of you that isn’t covered in blood and you’re ready to fall asleep standing. It’s been the longest day of your life, and it still isn’t over. You look over to where Jean and Scott are, where they watched you kill Dreykov. You’re not sure how they found you two, but you’re forever indebted to their intervention. 

You hold Natasha’s hand. “Let’s go home.”

***********************************************************************

The trees fly by as you jog down a rocky slope, dodging sprawling roots and rocks bigger than your head.The sun that filters through the leaves is almost healing on your skin as you soak in the raw elements of nature. Wind bites at your cheeks but you fully welcome the sting. To you, this is what freedom and peace feels like. 

You finally pause to drink from a flowing stream and take off your sweat-soaked shirt to splash some water onto your body. You crawl up the bank and rest your back against a tree. The chirping of birds and the hum of insects lull you into a trance and you close your eyes, thinking about the whirlwind of the previous week.

The freed Widows successfully grounded the aircraft and you returned home on the Blackbird with Natasha and your team. But it had been difficult for you to celebrate, plagued with flashbacks and nightmares you had spent so many years trying to lock away. Then there was the fact that Taskmaster nearly tore you apart twice in less than 24 hours, and suffice to say, you needed some alone time to process and heal. 

You were still angry at the professor, who withheld the knowledge of how you two would be taken to the Red Room, but he claimed it was the only way and that the two of you would be able to handle yourselves. Even Natasha didn’t entirely agree with him, but it was all over now, and you hoped she wouldn’t drag you off again anytime soon.

A few minutes go by in silence until a twig crunches unnaturally and your eyes fly open. As you turn your head, Natasha’s scent touches your nose and you instantly relax, waiting for her to approach you.

“Lost?” you ask as she appears from behind. She’s wearing workout clothes like you and practically glowing. Her nose is a little crooked still and she has a black eye that has faded into a deep red over the past week. You hate seeing her with injuries, but they remind you of how strong and brave she is.

“No, I’m exactly where I want to be.” Natasha smiles down at you, and she’s so beautiful it makes your heart hurt. “I hope I’m not interrupting. I know you didn’t come all the way out here because you wanted to see other people.”

“I’ll always make an exception for you.” You pat the grass next to you and she sits down. “How did you find me?” The curiosity gets the best of you.

“Jean.”

You smile and shake your head. 

“Thank you,” she says. “For everything you did in the Red Room.” You grunt by way of saying you’re welcome. “I wish I could’ve planned it better, but I’m so grateful you came with me. I can’t imagine having to do all that by myself–I don’t think it would’ve been possible.”

“You did great, darling,” you reply, putting your hand over hers but she withdraws from your touch.

“I feel awful dragging you into something like that,” she admits. “And when I thought I could kill him but I couldn’t–And then had you step in before I’d even asked if you were okay–”

“Nat.” You offer her your hand again, and with some hesitancy, gives you hers. “I’m not losing sleep over him.”

“I know, but then Taskmaster–”

“He’s dead too,” you point out, still miffed Scott had gotten the final blow over you.

“He almost killed you,” Natasha says.

“Well, he didn’t. Most people don’t succeed there,” you add.

“For a second, I really thought I was going to lose you forever,” she says. “And I realized how selfish I had been asking you to come with me, expecting you to protect me, killing Dreykov when I couldn’t–”

“I’d do it all for you again,” you say simply, and it’s not a lie. “But don’t ask me too soon.”

“I love you,” Natasha bursts out, leaning forward to throw her arms around your neck.

“I love you too, darling.” You press her against you and this time she doesn’t pull away. Her weight is like a blanket around you and you lean into her, breathing in her scent and feeling an indescribable sense of calm. Even though she got on your nerves from time to time and often pulled you into her overly ambitious plots, Natasha was your person, your home, and you wouldn’t want to exist without her.

Natasha cuddles closer to you as if sharing your same thoughts. “I was thinking…Maybe we can move out of the mansion and live off on our own?” she asks. “I know that’s the life you’ve always wanted, the life you were living before you met me.” “Yes, but then I met you,” you reiterate. Truth be told, you had warmed up to being at the school. You enjoyed being around the kids, as obnoxious and obtuse as they could be sometimes. “Do you like it at the school?”

“I do,” she says, with a little hesitancy.

“Then we can stay. For now, at least,” you say, and her face lights up. “I don’t think the professor would mind.”

“Are you sure?” Natasha asks.

“Absolutely. It’ll be nice to enjoy some time here before you take me off for another adventure,” you say, kissing her as she blushes. 

The professor had told Jean and Scott about something called Red Dust, which was a kind of antidote that could reverse the mind control of the Widows and Wolf Spiders. They had found a canister just in time before the Widows had almost killed you and Natasha, but even though they had been freed, there were many others still in the world that needed rescuing. You and Natasha both knew this, but you had asked her for some time to rest first. She agreed without argument. 

“We can stay here for a while,” she says, her hand brushing against your abs suggestively. Heat pools in your belly and you’re almost embarrassed at how quickly she can turn you on. The two of you had not been intimate since the night spent in Russia, not that Natasha would ever pressure you, but you knew she had been waiting to spend that time with you again. 

“Were you talking about here or the mansion?” you ask, placing your hand on hers and pushing it down towards your shorts. 

“Both,” she answers, then looks to where her hand now rests on the tie of your shorts. “Are you sure?” 

“Mhmm.” You kiss her softly, then more passionately as arousal spreads through you. She returns your passion equally, and suddenly you find yourself lying flat on your back, Natasha on top of you with her hand down your shorts, fingers teasing at your slick entrance. You shift your legs apart and run your hands up her sides, not realizing how much you missed her touch. “Natasha,” you whine, bucking your hips up. “I need you.”

“I know,” she whispers, kissing your cheek the same time her fingers enter you. Your back arches off the ground as you clench around her. It feels like your heartbeat is between your legs as you throb and pulse for her. “Let me take care of you,” she says, pistoning into you gently. But you want her to take you harder and faster, to claim you and remind you who you belong to. “Let me make you feel good.”

Your head tips back when you feel the pressure of her thumb against your clit, and for a few blissful seconds you focus only on the pleasure Natasha gives you. Not the terrible memories of the past week and earlier, not the fact that you almost lost your life and Natasha’s in the Red Room. The indescribable pain and crippling fear that twisted your stomach and took your breath away.

“Y/N,” Natasha says, bringing you back to the present. “Stop thinking so much.”

“Make me forget,” you challenge, pulling her down for a hard kiss. She presses her fingers deeper into you and your body flexes impressively as you pant and moan beneath her. Her weight starts to rock back and forth and you smell her growing arousal. Instinctively you reach for her shorts, eager to please her, but she pushes you away. 

“Today is about you,” she says, her fingers finally curling into the spot that makes you see stars. 

“Fuck, darling,” you gasp, your body trembling so hard you’re afraid Natasha will fall off. “Right there, baby…don’t stop.” Your hips move quickly to encourage a faster pace and she complies, kissing down your neck and nipping at your collarbone. Arousal fogs your mind as your hands wander under Natasha’s shirt, pushing her bra out of the way and closing around her breasts. 

“Y/N,” Natasha moans, which is like music to your ears. Especially since the two of you are basically in the middle of nowhere and don’t need to mind anyone’s privacy. 

“I love you so much, darling,” you pant. Your bodies rock in tandem, and the closer you get to your peak, the less control you have. Your hands claw at her back, trying not to leave deep scratches, but Natasha has told you she loves it when you leave your marks on her. (Unfortunately, due to your healing factor, she could not really return the favor.) 

“I love you too,” Natasha says, moving her arm faster and feeling the resistance as your walls clamp tighter around her fingers. 

“Almost…there…” you grunt, the heat in your stomach reaching a tipping point. 

Natasha leans down, pressing her chest against yours until you can feel her heartbeat. It’s pounding nearly as hard as yours. “Show me how good I make you feel,” she whispers and you completely fall apart at her words. The endorphins rush through your system, finally drowning out the unsavory thoughts as you finish all over her hand. Your body is buzzing, your breathing frantic, and you don’t even notice her pull her fingers out as she drops down to cuddle on your chest. 

You limply on the forest floor, staring up at the perfectly white clouds that drift through the sky. You stroke the back of Natasha’s head as you catch your breath. No words need to be spoken; you both understand and appreciate each other in a way that cannot be described. You would never regret choosing this woman and consider yourself so lucky to have her by your side. No matter what happened, what obstacles the two of you had to face, you would do it together. 

Forever.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Another happy ending. :) Thanks so much for reading!!

Please leave likes, comments, and reblog! Follow for more content. 🥰

[lostwysteria]

(Part 12. Warning! Contains a make out sesion that leads to a fade to black. Hope you enjoy!

Also, you guys are awesome!)

Masterlist

Ling and Wreck were silent after that. It was a comfortable kind, though. Wreck was playing a chill tune from an old video game.

Ling just let his mind wander as his hands followed the familiar pattern.

His life had changed so much in just a week. It was honestly shocking how un-shocking it felt. He felt more at peace than he had in years. He had two permanent charges and a steady way to settle his Trust driven instincts. For the first time in so long he felt steady and sure.

He felt… loved, if that was the right word for it.

The elevator dinhed and Miss J and Nice strode out.

“Alright you two. In two weeks time, Homemaker is getting kidnapped again and Wreck is going to be his knight in shining armor. We’re going the whole love prevails and redeems route.” She rolled her eyes so hard Ling was surprised her glasses didn't crack.

Nice had practically skipped over to Ling and gave him a quick hug and nuzzle before skipping over to Wreck and giving him a kiss as he sat down beside him. He cozied up to the black haired man with a purr. Wreck looked startled and then delighted.

“Since when can Nice purr!?” Miss. J asked in bafflement.

“Since last year, according to him.” Ling answered as he finished his row of stitches. He gave her his full attention after he set his project down. “We're kidnapping me?”

Miss. J shook herself out of the daze she was in over the purring human. “Yes. Nice will be at an event and you will be taken in public while out looking for a gift for Nice.”

“I reserve the right to defend myself if they get too rough.” Ling said as he took off his slip on shoe and brandished it. Wreck choked.

“You mean you wield the dreaded ‘La Chancla’!?” Wreck asked before howling with laughter. Ling would never admit it, but even that little bit of Spanish sounded hot coming from Wreck. He bet French or Italian would sound downright sinful coming from Nice. Ling shook that thought from his head.

“I’ll wallop you if you push me.” Lin Ling threatened. Wreck just laughed harder. “Part of my powers. It's one of my few physical defenses. Shut up!” he threw the shoe with startling accuracy. Wreck was knocked off the piano bench with a startled and pained yelp. Nice chuckled as he caught the shoe afterwards.

The white haired hero walked over and sat down on the floor and gently put the slip on back on Ling’s foot. He then got back up and went to check on Wreck. Lin Ling was blushing like mad.

Miss. J looked so done.

…

Wreck pushed Nice down onto the bed. Ling was hammering out details with Miss. J and that granted them time alone.

“Fuck. I missed you, Xiaoxing.” Wreck said in between kisses. Nice gasped and shuddered at hearing his real name.

“I missed you more, Tiantang.” Nice whined as sharp teeth grazed a sensitive part of his neck.

“I find that hard to believe. What with that cutie-pie you found.” Wreck teased. He nibbled at Nice’s neck, making sure not to leave marks where they would not be seen.

“You like him? I thought you might, love. I decided he could be ours.” Nice gasped as Wreck’s hand wandered lower, barely grazing where he wanted it to touch.

“Is that so?”

Shirts were removed and Nice arched into Wreck’s touch as kisses were trailed across a porcelain pale chest

“Yes. We can't let him go. Have you seen him? He’s perfect for us. And I found him. I saved him from his own attempt, you know. He was thinking about jumping as well.”

Wreck paused, debating on saying something until Nice squirmed in a very appealing way, grazing some sensitive parts with his leg.

“Alright. I'm game. Let's seduce the pretty thing you found us.”

“Oh, A-Tang. I knew you would see it my way.” Nice purred. “Let me show my appreciation”

No more words except expletives and love were said for the next two hours.

…

Ling got back to the apartment and sighed in exhaustion. Miss. J was a taskmaster and a half.

He stopped by the coach. Nice and Wreck were asleep on the couch with a movie playing. He draped the blanket he finished while ironing out the details with Miss. J over them. He then got his own and sat down on the other end. He’d seen the movie before and it was pretty good.

He grinned when he caught sight of the hickey on Wreck's neck. He was glad they had a good time.

[david-talks-sw]

Part 2 of the 4-part post series interweaving George Lucas' words in a curated meta post. Here's PART 1, here's PART 2.5.

In George Lucas' words: The Fall and Return of Anakin Skywalker

- Episode II -

Anakin's status quo at the start of the film.

In Episode II, Anakin is a teenager. A petulant, whiny, pain in the ass teenager, and I hate to say it, but that's what a lot of teenagers are!

He is a little cocky, a little sure of himself, and constantly chafing a little bit with Obi-Wan. That said, it's worth pointing out that Obi-Wan and Anakin actually like each other.

Their introduction scene was, in fact, a reshoot, that came from George wanting to emphasize the fact that the two are partners and friends, and even though there’s a little bit of tension between the two of them, throughout the film, where they're at each other's throats, they do have a history of warm friendship, off-screen.

Even though Obi-Wan is a "stern taskmaster" and mentor, he still cares about Anakin. And he’s more frustrated with their relationship and Anakin’s unwillingness to go along with the rules, whereas Anakin feels he is being held back by Obi-Wan.

They both have a point. Because while Anakin is indeed a gifted person, very talented, there is a constant dichotomy of "Anakin's lack of discipline vs his natural talent" at play.

In every set-piece, we think that [Anakin's] gone a little bit too far and made a mistake, and then you realize that he’s actually very clever. And then, sometimes, it's the opposite. We think he's got this, and actually... he doesn't.

The fact is that, being the Chosen One, Anakin is slightly more powerful than other people, which means he is slightly ahead of himself at all times.

We also get a little sense that Anakin has some relationship with Palpatine and that he likes Palpatine, his other mentor figure. 

The chancellor's place in Anakin's life isn't helpful, as we can see that Palpatine is sort of boosting his ego to make him feel that he's better than possibly he really is.

A lot of Anakin's philosophies and some of Anakin's dialog later on - about how he should be allowed more freedom, more assignments - come from Palpatine.

So on the one hand, things aren't perfect. For someone in Anakin's situation, the ability to do evil is much easier to come by. The issues he struggles with are the same issues that everybody struggles with, the fact that sometimes they don’t consider the consequences of what they’re doing because it’s not expedient.

On the other hand, Anakin is still essentially a good kid, and he's determined to be greatest among the Jedi. It's not that he has evil intentions, but in this film we see how he's under some pressure and we start to realize that some new temptations are coming his way.

These new temptations come in the shape of:

the nightmares of his mother

and the reunion with his beloved Padmé.

Anakin & Padmé - from attraction to love

When Padmé re-enters his life, the film shifts into a story about Anakin's dealing with his emotions, the difficulty of his being torn between his duty as a Jedi who swore to serve the Republic, and his emotional needs, which relate to Padmé.

Back in Episode I, Anakin had a crush on her when he was little. She dismissed him because he was just a little kid, but she liked him, like as with a puppy. Now, she’s grown up. And she's beginning to see him as an attractive young man.

As they are paired together, we go back and forth between them - as two young people having feelings for each other - and them, in the context of her position as a Senator, and his position as a Jedi.

She's more disciplined, whereas he's naive, especially around her. He's never been in a situation like this before, so he’s falling in love, but he doesn’t really know it. And it is forbidden.

There are social barriers that have been put up and there's a practical reality of what would happen to them in the future, if they were to let their emotions run wild. 

They're both government officials who have made a commitment toward the Republic and its citizens. Seeing as neither of them is willing to quit, duty dictates that they renounce their love, and dedicate their lives selflessly to carrying on with their responsibilities.

After he spills his guts out to her and she refuses to go along with him, Anakin does realize that, yes, this would not be a good idea… because it would jeopardize his career, it'd jeopardize her, and it probably wouldn't be a good thing.

But they do love each other. They’re truly in love with each other.

It’s the issue of "true love over duty." It’s really the "Romeo and Juliet" aspect of it, of a doomed relationship, in more ways than one really.

And eventually... they give in. This culminates with an idyllic situation on Naboo, where Anakin and Padmé are getting married in what appears to be a somewhat happy ending.

But Anakin and Padmé's marriage is not gonna work. It is a complex, slightly dysfunctional relationship because, to Anakin, she’s much more than a wife. And it will only become clear too late to Padmé that she married the wrong guy.

It's only when you put it in the context of the bigger story that you see the handwriting on the wall.

You notice flaws in Anakin's personality that are going to sink him in the end, as hinted by his metal hand, and the fated "Darth Vader influence" it implies.

Anakin & Shmi - from love to attachment

When we're talking about Anakin's flaws, many of them are established in Episode II.

His emotions run amok... moreso now that he's falling in love.

He's undisciplined... as teenagers tend to be.

He's arrogant... but with exceptional powers like his (and the constant egging on from Palpatine), it's easy to see why.

However, there is, one flaw that comes back to haunt him, all the way back from Episode I. Anakin has a fear of losing things, namely the fear of losing his mother.

The fact that everything must change and that things come and go through his life and that he can’t hold onto things is a basic Jedi philosophy that he isn’t willing to accept emotionally.

And as a result, he wants to begin to control things, he wants to become more powerful. And these are not Jedi traits.

Part of the reason for this flaw is because he was raised by his mother rather than the Jedi.

He started to be trained so late in life, that he had already formed these attachments. And for a Jedi, attachment is forbidden. You can love people, but you have to love them unconditionally, in terms that you can’t hold on to them.

If he’d have been taken in his first year and started to study to be a Jedi, he would have been trained to love people without getting attached to them.

But Anakin has confused possessive love with compassionate love.

Because he was unwilling to let go of his mother, because he was so attached to her, he committed this terrible revenge on the Tusken Raiders. This is the first act that ultimately takes him on the road to the Dark Side.

And in the aftermath of this... he is very sad and depressed. Horrified at his actions.

But what he’s really upset about is the fact that he’s not powerful enough. He voices jealousy and anger at Obi-Wan, he blames everyone else for his inability to be as powerful as he wants to be, and he hears all the time from Palpatine that he will be.

He tells himself that "if he had more power, he could’ve kept his mother, he could’ve saved her and she could’ve been in his life."

Down the line, he will also become attached to Padmé and these things are - for a Jedi, who needs to have a clear mind and not be influenced by threats to their attachments - a dangerous situation.

Because whereas a good Jedi overcomes their flaws and kinda goes above the normal human tragedy that most people have to experience, Anakin doubles down on this crucial flaw, which feeds into his fear of losing things, and grows into greed and wanting to keep his "possessions," and things that he should be letting go of.

Sources:

Attack of the Clones Commentary Tracks #1 and #2, 2002

Mythmaking: Behind the Scenes of 'Attack of the Clones', 2002

Primissima, p. 32, May Issue, 2002 

LA Times, 2002

CNN, 2002

Attack of the Clones, “Story” Featurette, 2002

Starlog Magazine #337, 2005

Rolling Stone, 2005

The Star Wars Archives: 1999-2005, 2020

[whereispearlescentmoon]

Permit Master Summary!

Gem is judging!

Round One: Best Smallest Thing

Jimmy- Tiny yoda he got from Grian which he wasn't supposed to tell Gem (1 Point)

Pearl- Baby crafting table that apparently isn't what she was going to bring originally so Gem is mad she gave into peer pressure (2 Points)

Joe- Tiny Hands (3 Points)

Ren-Tiny Skateboard that comes with skate shoes for his fingers that Gem watched him buy (3 Points)

Cub- Coin from 2015 Minecon (4 Points)

Martyn- Cat toy he stole from Jimmy's house and cat toy he stole from Grian (4 Points)

False- Tiny Minecraft Turtle (5 Points)

==========================

Round Two: In Hermitcraft build the most interesting face. Then using your real face, immitate the face you just made. The closest immitation wins.

I didn't catch what everyone's faces looked like.

Cub used nerf darts being held up to his face.

Joe is already dressed as a pumpkin which is what his face was.

False has utilized a snack box and oranges.

Ren, Martyn and Jimmy all used sticky notes to imitate theirs.

Pearl drew on her face in green sharpie.

Cub got a 1

False got a 2

Joe and Ren both got a 3

Martyn and Jimmy got a 4

Pearl got a 5

==========================

Round Three: Write a jingle to encourage donations. The best jingle wins. You can use non hermits.

Jimmy has stolen Oli immediately. Oli is playing the keyboard at home and Jim has a toy guitar. Jimmy isn't singing or doing anything at all, just having Oli do it.

False tried to get Skizz, Kirsty, and Impulse but they all said no. She is the only one with no partner. She is using a variety of paddles and an aluminum food tin, and asking chat for rap lyrics because she can't sing. She has decided to pull up a beat on her phone and rap to it.

Martyn has a bunch of weapons as instruments that he is having Skizz use for drumming and is using chat for lyrics. He is also rapping. I liked his the best.

Pearl is singing to herself and is using Karn to sing and write lyrics. They are just singing, no instruments. They did a very Aussie song.

Ren is using paddles and a stool as drums and has commandeered a Gamer's Outreach employee named Stage (?) to play harmonica. He's doing some kind of chant? His was my least favorite.

Cub has the cat key board with Impulse playing and is using chat for lyrics. Cub is also rapping to Impulse banging on the keyboard. Short and sweet.

Joe has a phone keyboard and Badger. He has done a song to tune of Old McDonald.

Jimmy gets 0 points. Oli gets 5 points.

False got 2 points. She is not happy. She is threatening to beat Skizz up and yelling.

Pearl and Karn's acapella Aussie duet gets a 3.

Cub and Impulse get a 3 for Impulse's silly little expression.

Ren and Stage got a 3 because Gem pities Stage.

Joe gets 4 points for a "fantastic little jingle".

Martyn gets 5 which we expected.

Bonus Task: They tricked Jimmy into lining up 100 pieces of grass. In classic taskmaster fashion, no one else did it.

==========================

Task Four: Take the best shot. Either record it and send it in discord or tell them when you're ready to put in their brain boxes later.

Everyone has grabbed Weapons except for Jimmy.

I got this sick screenshot of False.

Pearl dunked the enderman plushie in the toy chest.

Joe has a Nerf bow and arrow and tried to hit a sheep in a cardboard cutout and missed three times and hit once.

Cub has a toy bow and arrow and failed to shoot it into a Target bag three times and hit once.

Martyn managed to catch a rubber chicken thrown from a balcony in a bucket.

Ren repeatedly failed to shoot a coffee cup off of Karn's computer when asked to do it live, but someone got a video of him doing it successfully to show them

False has a good shot of Martyn. Just a nice photo she's gonna Tweet out.

Jimmy failed a bunch of times to try and kick an orange in a cone and ran out of time. "Chat, your streamer, useless" said Gem to Jimmy's stream.

False is still mad at Gem. "I don't usually say to send hate, but please send hate to Gem".

Jimmy gets 0 points for not taking a shot and wasting oranges.

Joe and Cub both get 1 point for failing repeatedly but at least they tried.

False gets 3 points for taking an unflattering shot of Martyn.

Pearl gets 4 points for dunking the enderman smoothly.

Ren and Martyn get 5 points for being actually impressive.

==========================

Round Five: Meet up with your partners in Hermitcraft and invent the best secret handshake.

Teams: Cub and Joe, Martyn Jim and Pearl, Ren and False

Ren is going to get murdered by False. She is so angry at him because he can't figure out how to get into a group. They are building two "hands". False is going to kill this man. They are making their handshake even after time is up. Ren is trying to tell her time is up and she is telling him it doesn't matter and to just listen to her.

The Evo Crew is setting off firework rockets and jumping from a high place with totems. Pearl is stealing from Cub and planning on paying him back later. They have the energy of a group of children trying to make a play to get to sleepover.

Cub and Joe are having two armor stands shake hands. They are the only ones doing anything efficiently.

THE HANDSHAKES ARE MEANT TO BE IRL! THEY PLANNED THEM IN MINECRAFT BUT HAVE TO DO THEM IRL!

The Evo Crew did a little dance one at a time and threw a bunch of Nerf Darts like fireworks.

Joe and Cub are fake dueling with forks.

False and Ren have jumped, did a fake little throw on the ground, done a spin, and then jumped towards each other to do a high five.

False accidentally said on the main mic that she's going to throw an orange at Ren's head.

Ren and False and Joe and Cub got 4 points.

The Evo Crew got 5 points.

==========================

Final Round: Disguise a carrot. The best disguise wins.

Pearl's Final Result:

Joe's Final Result:

Cub's Final Result:

False's Final Result:

Jimmy's Final Result:

Ren's Final Result:

Martyn's Final Result

Final Round Scores:

Joe gets 1 point because he hid his rather than disguised it.

Cub gets 2 points for being low effort.

False gets 3 points because Gem can still tell its a carrot.

Martyn gets 4 points.

Tied for 5 points are Pearl, Ren, and Jimmy.

==========================

Final Scores:

7th Place: Oli-5 points

6th Place: Jimmy and Cub-15

5th Place: Joe-17

4th Place: False-19

3rd Place: Ren- 23

2nd Place: Pearl-24

1st Place: Martyn-27

Martyn wins all the tiny things!

[gatheringbones]

[“As computer programs determine how many patients can be profitably squeezed into a day, doctors become tools. Then the actual machines march triumphantly into the wards.

Nurses are now separated from patients by computers on wheels that roll everywhere with them: their bossy robot taskmasters. When you first see a nurse, she or he will likely have eyes on the screen rather than on you. This has dreadful consequences for your treatment, since you become a checklist rather than a person. If you are having a problem unrelated to what is on the screen, some nurses will have a hard time gathering themselves and paying attention. For example, after my first liver procedure my liver drain was improperly attached. This was a serious problem that was easily reparable. Yet although I tried for four days to draw attention to it, I could not get through. It was not on the lists. And so I had a second liver procedure.

When I read my own medical record, I was struck by how often doctors wrote what was convenient rather than what was true. It’s hard to blame them: they are locked in a terrible record-keeping system that sucks away their time and our money. When doctors enter their records, their hands are guided by the possible entries in the digital system, which are arranged to maximize revenue. The electronic medical record offers none of the research benefits that we might expect from its name; it is electronic in the same sense that a credit card reader or an ATM is electronic. It is of little help in assembling data that might be useful for doctors and patients.

During the coronavirus pandemic, doctors could not use it to communicate about symptoms and treatments. As one doctor explained, “Notes are used to bill, determine level of service, and document it rather than their intended purpose, which was to convey our observations, assessment, and plan. Our important work has been co-opted by billing.” Doctors hate all of this.

Doctors of an older generation say that things were better in their time—and, what is more worthy of note, younger doctors agree with them. Doctors feel crushed by their many masters and miss the authority that they used to enjoy, or that they anticipated that they would enjoy when they decided to go to medical school. Young people go to medical school for good reasons, then find their sense of mission exploited by their bosses. Pressured to see as many patients as possible, they come to feel like cogs in a machine. Hassled constantly by companies that seek to pry open every aspect of medical practice for profit, they find it hard to remember the nobility of their calling. Tormented by electronic records that take as much time as patient care, and tortured by mandatory cell phones that draw them away from thinking, they lose their ability to concentrate and communicate. When doctors are disempowered, we do not learn what we need to be healthy and free.”]

timothy snyder, from our malady: lessons in liberty from a hospital diary, 2020

[nerdyenby]

Just saw Thunderbolts*!!!!!! (Spoilers)

The really killed Taskmaster (I legit don’t even know her name and I’m upset about it) after ONE line of dialogue. They had a protagonist with a facial difference and a 50/50 gender ratio and then they fucked it immediately. I’m genuinely pissed.

Otherwise, I really loved this movie

Note that I’m coming at this film as a marvel fan with a degree in psychology. Overall I think the depression was handled well but holy crap would I have appreciated a tw for rampant suicide attempt bait because that was wild

Speaking of, I really appreciate the motif of Yelena closing her eyes when she’s ready to die contrasted with the end when she does the same expression but opens her eyes and smiles just a little

I also really appreciated how Bob had to save himself. He needed that external support, but you can’t fight someone else’s demons for them. I also liked the moment where he almost lost himself to it. So often to we get so fed up with our mental illness that we resort to self-destruction, but as much as that anger may be justified, it isn’t productive. Hating yourself is doing that darkness’s work for it, what’s most effective if acknowledging it, trying to accept it, and getting support when you need it.

The theme of being alone together is just so!!!

I thought Bucky and Yelena were gonna be co-protagonists but this was Yelena’s movie and I am 100% okay with that. Bucky is a chronic side character at this point, and Yelena deserves this spotlight. Bucky finding himself in a leader/mentor role is so funny because you can see the moments when he realizes people are looking to him for answers and he’s just like “… me? Shit.” It’s great, I love that it seems like we’re heading towards Yelena being the head of that group with Bucky being her advisor. He’s got a lot to add, but don’t expect him to say more than three sentences at a time, and sure as hell don’t expect him to explain anything /aff

Idk how they managed to make John somewhat likable but he kinda got there in the end. Yes, he’s still an asshole and he probably always will be, but he’s an asshole who’s learning how to put his ego aside to help his new friends and that’s pretty cool

Also!! I loved how absurdly overpowered Sentry is, especially as an antagonist for this group in particular. For vast majority of this movie, you can almost forget what universe we’re in. Most of our protags are just really talented assassins who may or may not have a bit of super strength on the side. They’re crazy good at what they do and this movie does a great job of showcasing that, which makes it all the more impactful when Sentry wipes the floor with them without even trying. There’s no conceivable way for this group to beat someone that powerful, and that hopelessness really lends itself to the overall story being told here. There is no way out, there is no winning this fight, the only option is the sacrifice play — the only victory is through empathy and appealing to the humanity of the person you’re facing.

I love Mel, we stan a queen who isn’t too deep in to be complacent when shit toes the line into truly malicious and unacceptable behavior

Alexei and Yelena’s dynamic was everything btw. I don’t have anything to add really, I just love them

Also I’ve been avoiding marvel news and trailers and all that for years now so I don’t have many expectations (or spoilers) going in, so I genuinely didn’t even stop to consider how this group would meet until the movie started. It’s so obvious that they’d be hired to kill each other, but I didn’t see it coming and that scene was so much more fun for it. I’m obsessed with that fight scene in the vault, it has excellent fight choreography that showcases everyone’s skills, while also allowing for fun character moments that never slow the story or feel contrived. It’s just a blast and I think they really nailed the balance between plot, cool shots, and laying down the foundations for the group’s dynamic

I’m almost done I promise!! I just cannot post about this movie without talking about the climax. Everything about the “shame maze” was so well executed. Not only did it give us an abundance of insight into different characters throughout the movie, but also it was so beautifully shot and constructed. I lost my shit when Yelena ran into the wall the first time, and realizing that it these moments of pure pain and regret were repeating themselves tore me to shreds. Yelena trying to stop it — trying to protect Anya — then covering her younger self’s eyes in the next memory broke my heart. The visuals of this sequence went so hard, and it was just all-around masterful

And just because I haven’t said it yet!! Ava was an absolute gem the entire time, I want more of her on my desk by Monday

[luri-isa]

TBD - Spin-of

A little info in advance:

1. English is not my native language, so grammatical errors are unfortunately a possibility. So please be lenient with me thx

2. This is my were first writing attempt, please be gentle

3. This fanfiction is a spin-off of the fanfiction TBD by lovely @busyheadkeepbreathing to understand my story, please read their story first!

4. Not beta-read we die like taskmaster 🫡

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65377660/chapters/168233692

Thank you for letting me write this!!! 💚💚💚

Please enjoy!

Tag list: @multifandomneeerd

✨️

“Daaaaaaaddy!” Bob shouted from his room like he did every weekend.

Bucky’s eyes opened slowly. He blinked a few times before rolling over. He knew the weekend routine by now. Bob always was the first to wake up and would make his wake presence known by yelling for Bucky. Then would pick him up and cuddle with him until the other kids would be up.

"Ok ok, I'm coming!"

So today was no different. Walking over, picking the toddler up and walking back to his room. Bob beamed at him while explaining what he dreamed about. To Bucky it didn’t make any sense but he listened with a soft smile and nodded along throwing in some affirmatives and surprised noises. The relaxed moment didn’t last long. His other kids ambushed him in his own bedroom. Soon he laid on his back grinning and his kids on his legs and abdomen.

Sam knew where to find them, so no wonder he stood in the doorframe half an hour later.

“Alright kids, Alexei is about to eat all pancakes alone if you don’t want them and stay here with Daddy” he casually drops the news of breakfast.

Immediately the four start screaming something about ‘No’ and ‘Lex don’ eat my cakes!’ Bucky chuckled and sat up to follow the others.

Alexei didn’t eat all the pancakes. Sam and Alexei had set up the table and the twelve-year-old waited patiently for his siblings. Sam sat with Bob in his lap, Bucky sat next to John and the girls sat on both of Alexei’s sides. Active chatter filled the living area.

Sam looked at Bucky while picking up his coffee.”We should go to the park today. we need to make them tired this time.” Bucky nodded while wiping John’s hands with some napkin. Ava and Yelena looked at Sam with sparkling eyes.

“We go to the park?!” Yelena squealed and Ava threw her arms in the air. Alexei looked pleased with those plans and Bob wiggled excitedly. John looked up to Bucky

“Can you show me how to skip stones at the lake?” the blond asked softly while pushing the last peace of pancake into his mouth.

“Of course buddy” the brunette assured him.

~

They took a large blanket, snacks and water with them. It was a bit of a fight to get all kids into their clothing. Ava didn’t like her shoes anymore, Yelena hated her sweatshirt and threw a short but intensive tantrum. Luckily for Sam and Bucky they were still in the tower so it wasn't some embarrassing moment in public like the week before when Bob cried the whole shoe shopping trip.

But they managed it more or less gracefully. So Sam found himself sitting on the blanket with Bob, watching the girls playing catch while Alexei read some comics he brought along. Bucky stood at the shore with John in front of him teaching him the correct way to throw the stone so they would jump a few times over the surface. After some attempts the boy managed it pretty well. His huge grin after the first success was priceless for the ex-winter soldier.

He stood to his full height again and turned around to look at Sam and gave him a thumbs up. The other man grinned back at him. Bucky took in the whole scene around him. One of his sons happy with throwing stones, the other to sitting with his best friend and his girls―

Where were his girls? Bucky turned around 360 degrees. He didn’t see them anymore. He didn't hear them either. Bucky looked at Sam with a horrified expression. His friend watched how his expression changed and started to look around too. Then it hit him too.

Ava and Yelena had disappeared.

Next chapter

———————————————

Let me know what you think and if you want to read the rest of the story 💚

[akin2u]

﹫targeted-freak ℳarvel Phase ℱive Friday Callahan

○ targeted-freak June 13 ong chat. when i come back from this fucking bullet in my knee you KNOW i'm gonna fuck up that mfing trader like he's LIZARD MEAT #txt #fuck chicago omfg #targetblogging #im cooking up with some more bombs too so sorry in advance

FORMER TENNIS PLAYER FRIDAY CALLAHAN SPOTTED WITH PLAYBOY BILLIONAIRE TONY STARK

Friday Callahan has played in competitions such as the Wimbledon and the French Open. Though, he has been seen in other sports like MotoGP for a few years before moving full-time to being a tennis player. He unexpectedly quit before he could play for the 2015 Wimbledon. Months later, he's seen hand-in-hand with IronMan

  "smoooooth operato—" "clear comms"   "smooooooooooth operator"

From the very beginning, Friday Callahan was a mutant. He honed the ability of regeneration and perfect reflexes. Despite that, he lived a normal life. Of course, aside from the fact he has to use specialized lenses to dampen his vision as to not overstimulate his brain. The perfect reflexes of his can be too much especially with sports like MotoGP, which was why he quit in the first place.

  "five floors up, callahan"   "i see you. target locked."

  "was that supposed to happen?"   "sorry guys. threw the wrong tennis ball."

  " THE BET " Tony Stark had a bet on who was the human being, aside from known superheroes, with near-perfect reflexes. He won the bet after he counted on Friday Callahan. Yet, he lost quickly after Clint Barton found that Friday was a mutant. That, caught the Avengers' attention. When Friday was offered a spot, he refused. Though, he did not turn down the chance to work for Stark Industries until Tony's eventual death after the Blip.

CHICAGO'S BIGGEST TARGET HAS DISAPPEARED AND EVEN THE MOB IS MISSING HIM. WHERE IS HE NOW? (SCRIBBLED BELOW THE NEWSPAPER) okay, leaving a message for one lucky newspaper reading crazy man. i'm on the way to a new job offer. said they needed my kind of expertise. get ready for a new me folks

THUNDERBOLTS* NEW AVENGERS

ensnared in a death trap, yelena belova , bucky barnes, red guardian, ghost, taskmaster, john walker, and target — embarks on a dangerous mission that forces them to confront the darkest corners of their pasts except, of course, target is almost traumaless. the time he almost shat himself in a tacobell.

  dear clit ( :D )

i'm in the avengers tower again. except it's way too empty. really. it feels weird. i also had to fight that cutie bob. it's all good. we discovered he's just a bit depressed and that's okay.

if tony can see me now, he'd be a bitch about it. he always wanted me to join. i know you'd advise me to stop, to let this go. but, uh, i can't. i guess. i kinda like these guys.

don't worry. i know what i'm doing, and what can be the consequences. i have a feeling that it's gonna end well.

  xoxo, gossip girl

compilation of my portraits

　　　━━ feel free to send me asks for me to answer ic !

[the-art-of-witnessing-the-cosmos]

The beauty of the planet Saturn . 🪐

👑Known as the hardest Taskmaster who's entrusted with the job of delivering the Karmic lessons of our unique life blueprint.

👑He is the one that is the fairest of all. He rules over fairness , justice , general masses , pain , detachment , hard working , suffering , past , fears ,old age, loneliness, karma, the true reality of our material world. He rules over our resilient quality, our hardworking spirit , the lower classes , success , status , gain & money as well.

👑On a spiritual level , He grants the gift of equanimity, that is hard won by learning to let life happen to you and learning to flow through it , to not hold too tightly or even too lightly , to understand & live the fact that change is the truest reality which actually grants the true base of stability within & without.

👑He is the one who ensures that you get what you truly deserve and is ruthless in this endeavour . There are different ways to perceive him . How I see him is that he beyond the mask of the strictest teacher , is genuinely kind , genuine , true , honest & fair to all. He is impartial , he is the personification of 'Do unto others what you would have them do unto you. '

👑 He also signifies the areas of life where you feel loneliness ,restricted, dissatisfied but what is loneliness? Is not being alone a true reality of our human experience, despite having a lover , a loving family and everything, still our experience , our sense of feelings , emotions, thought processing , the colors that we feel when we live our experiences , in that true lived experience, we all are ultimately alone . True deep understanding is rare. True merging rarer. And total permanent satisfaction in this ever changing world , is it possible ?

👑He ensures , the surety of receiving what you truly deserve , beautiful lessons , gains or hardships , painful realisations that teach you the transient and illusive value of different facets of the material life that hold you back or keep your chained to your deep unconscious harmful impulses.

👑He is the healer that gives you the medicine which may taste like a poison to your ego but heals you inwardly but bringing inward balance , understanding, fairness & spiritual growth ultimately.

👑He is exalted in Libra. The real magic & beauty of Saturn is that he is the ultimate alchemist of the human soul. He bounds you to the deepest material attachments & your deepest fears & past life karmas/samskaras/mental imprints and he is the one that gives you the strength to transform theses experiences , learnings to discover your true spiritual nature which happens when your karmic accounts are balanced . Thus inward balance of the energy of Libra is satisfied.

👑He represents your past experiences , deepest fears , areas of difficult experiences , areas of resistance which we all wish to run away from but have to ultimately face them , face our lighter & darkest aspects so that integration of our fragmented energetic patterns can happen . This integration is the highest gift that we offer to ourselves and our higher self.

👑And then you grow up , you flower into true maturity & thus become the watcher , the observer , the mystic , the seer and can embrace the true colors of life & living.

👑You then understand that the pain of underprivileged people is yours too , that the society which we make up is not different than us because we together make it up. You also learn not to resist , to be humble , to understand the value of being patient with yourself & others. You learn to not run away from your deepest karmic fears because the more you run away from them , the more they gain power over your mind. Thus we become brave & learn that we are truly responsible for ourselves, our thoughts , our actions, our choices which gives us the true power to change and transform & gain & rise :).

🤍What goes around, comes around. What we do to others , we do it to ourselves too. The more love you give to yourself & others , the more you will get , the more needless pain/hurt you give to your self & others, then that's what you will be served hot and fresh :).

So choose wisely and understand that Saturn is on your side. He wants you to grow & discover your true nature. To realize that you & the other ( theme of Libra ) are actually one. 🤍