#when my fiance was finally able to get a day off and we had enough gas money for him go go and look

[learningfromlosing]

I think she's happy to be back 🥺🤧

WE JUST FOUND THE KITTEN WE LOST THE DAY WE HAD TO MOVE OUT OF OUR HOME 6 DAYS AGO!!!!!!!!

[1-800-kami]

margaret - lana del rey | nanami kento

.. just when you thought nanami left behind nothing, you discover a letter on the top of his closet... addressed to you.

content: 0.9k words, anime spoilers, fem!reader, small banana fish allusion at the end because i hate my life

author's note: i'm not okay.

it’s october 31st, 2019, and you think you’ve finally gained enough courage to clean out kento’s closet.

one year. that’s exactly how long it’s been since his death. ever since you found out that your fiance was a part of the thousands who fell victim to the shibuya incident, the days have blurred into one another. each day seems monotonous and devoid of life without the man who promised to spend the rest of his life with you.

each day, you just dream of the day that you’ll be able to see him again.

still, no one was using the clothes from his closet. you knew your fiance would’ve preferred it if you donated his clothes to someone who could actually use them. you’ve been putting it off, since you knew that the smell of his clothes would just fill your heart with yet another round of painful memories. despite that, you knew you had to do it one day.

you haven’t touched his closet since the day he died. his clothes still smell like his perfume, and everything is neatly folded. you take one of his shirts with a shaky breath and revel in his scent, eyes watering knowing that even though his scent is still there, he isn’t.

and that makes you feel alone. fuck, you feel so awfully alone. 

your eyes scan through the entire closet, wondering where you’re gonna start with the cleaning. then, something sticking out of the top of your closet catches your eye. it seems so deliberately placed- wait, is that an envelope?

standing on your tiptoes and taking the envelope, you gasp–realizing that it's a letter addressed to you. from kento.

as far as you knew, your fiance didn’t leave anything behind for you other than a few broken promises. your engagement ring still rests on your ring finger, and it breaks your heart knowing that your wedding day will never come. he promised to marry you, that your honeymoon would be in kuantan, malaysia; and eventually–you’d buy a small house there just for the two of you, where sorcerers and curses are finally alien words and the rest of your days are spent out on the beach.

of course, none of that would ever happen now. you live knowing that your engagement ring will never be replaced with a wedding ring.

still, you thought that you’d live the rest of your life knowing that nanami never left anything behind for you... but this letter was new. you open it up, finding words scrawled in the handwriting that you knew all too well.

“to y/n—my love,

if you’re reading this, then it means that i’m dead, and i’m sorry.

i’m writing this letter because i know that as a jujutsu sorcerer, coming back home is never guaranteed. and yet, if i ever die, i don’t want you to be left behind with nothing. so one day, you’re going to have to clean out my closet, and you’re eventually going to find this letter.

i’m writing this hoping that you’re never going to have to read this, and i’ll throw this letter away eventually because i lived to come back home to you. 

but we both know that there’s a chance i might not come home.

living to see the next day isn’t guaranteed for any of us. not for me, and not even for people like gojo. so if it ever comes to this, i want you to live for the both of us, love. it’s difficult but i truly don’t want to hold you back from being happy just because i’m gone. fall in love again and live your life. then, when i see you again, you can tell me everything, and i’ll be excited to hear all about it.

i can hear you outside right now humming while making dinner. i want the rest of our life to be domestic like that—but sometimes, life isn’t always fair.

i remember getting photos of us printed out, because whenever i would be out on a mission, i found myself missing you all the time… so i always kept photos of you and me in my phone case. i want you to have these photos because they kept me going whenever i wasn’t able to be with you. i hope you can eventually learn to do the same, love.

just know that i love you. i love you so, so much, dear. you’re my reason to live. you’re the reason why i love coming home every day—you’re the reason i work as hard as i can so you’ll never have to read this letter. and i really do hope that you’ll never, ever read this.

i love you and i’ll repeat it until the entire world knows it. i’m sorry that i never got to marry you. i’m sorry that we never got to go to kuantan together. i’m sorry that i never got to do the things that i promised i would. 

even though i’m sorry for everything, you might’ve noticed that i haven’t said goodbye. that’s because i won’t say goodbye, because eventually, there’ll come a time when the stars align and we’ll meet again, no matter how far apart we are. and i can’t wait to see you again…

…because then, i’ll make everything up to you.

love, 

kento.”

[garricks4thwingqueen]

The Day of Dread: Xaden Riorson X reader

Prompt: “Do you want to take it off, or should I do it for you? Credit for prompt goes to @a-cure-for-writers-block

Warnings: NSFW, Swearing, not stated but intended feelings of anxiety. 

                                       The Day of Dread. 

                   Xaden X reader whom is Liam Mairi’s older sister  smut 

This fic is a part of the #FourthWingBirthdayBash!  

Synopsis: Your Liam Mairi’s older sister; exactly the same age as Xaden and Garrick. This made you the oldest female of what were now known as the rebellion children. With the work your father and Xaden’s and Garrick;s father did together you basically grew up together in Riorson House. This caused you to have a close relationship with the two boys; one more so than the other. This fic is set place on Reunification Day on the third year for reader and the two oldest rebellion boys. Being the oldest children of the rebellion, reader and Xaden know some Tyrrish. I used Gaelic to represent Tyrrish:

My love: Mo ghràdh Your love: do gaol

Mine: Mianach 

Yours: Mise

Forever: Go Deo 

Always: I Gconai

Other words to know Ilmari: (Readers dragon) means air in Scandinavian. 

Trigger warnings: Swearin, NSFW, a little angsty but mostly fluff!

Word count: 2390 

Reunification Day: Also known as the day that commemorates the day upon which the separatists were defeated and the rebellion overcome.

You groaned, waking up to the bright light shining through your and your fiance's room. Another groan left your mouth as you noticed your bed was cold and looked at the clock that read 7:00 a.m.. “Fuck.” you cursed as you noticed the dress that rested on the chair across the room. There was only a few days that you’d be caught dead in a dress reunifuckincation day was one of them that was against your will. For two years since you started at Basgiath with Xaden and Garrick; you’ve represented your group on your boyfriend's behalf. You wished none of the rebellion children had to represent the group on the day that each 107 children lost their parents. You’ve been going for Xaden and Garrick each year because those two would never be caught dead at that celebration. Thank the gods this was your last year before getting your assignments at the end of the year.

You smiled as you noticed there was a box and a note from Xaden on the table. 

I’m sorry Mo ghràdh that I couldn't be here this morning, especially today. Gare and I had to make an unexpected supply run. Don’t start with me Mo ghràdh you have enough to deal with tonight we didn’t think we needed to bother you for an extra run this a.m. I thought this necklace I was able to find on our last run would go perfectly with your dark blue dress tonight. If I don’t see you before I’ll see you after for our favorite activities of the evening. I know this year has been tough but we are almost done, Mo ghràdh. I can't express in words how thankful I am to call you Mianach; I love you just one more time for this day. You have this, we have each other. 

I’ll see you later tonight .

 do gaol

-X. 

You're insufferable right now. Your dragon Ilmari scoffed in your mind. You're not to pleasant yourself  either this morning, you chided grabbing the box of our night stand.You pulled the blue ribbon of the box and opened it to reveal a note and a small velvet blue bag.  

Brennan finally found this before our last supply run. He said he spotted the silver one morning on the sand near the river. I thought it would go perfect with your dress. I can't wait to take off of you.

-X  

Pulling the drawstring bag out of the box your heart fluttered feeling the light to heavy weight and the all too familiar shape even before you took the necklace out of the bag you knew what it was. It was your family crest necklace, the Mairi family crest. It was a Tyrrish tradition to give each newborn a necklace of their family crest. You had thought you had lost yours forever during the rebellion when you had tried to help save your younger sister from being separated from you and Liam even though both were a sad defeat. You were a wreck that night once you realized the necklace did indeed fall off your neck. It took everything in Xaden to get you to calm down over the necklace and everything else that had happened that day. Being the eldest Mairi child you had the original necklace that had been passed down from your favorite Grandmother. You manipulated the air slightly to help you open the bag and grabbed the all too familiar silver chain and cried at the touch. It’s exactly how I remembered it when your Grandmother wore it when she was my rider. You would make her proud. Ilmari chimed through your bond which you could have sworn was the nicest thing that she had ever said to you. You do have a sweet side.  

You chidded back to your green daggertail.

           The day had passed and you hadn’t run into Xaden or Garrick. You knew the supply run had run late. You endured your morning run with Imogen and Violet. Imogen was like a sister to you but Violet you couldn’t stand. When Sgaeyl’s mate bonded with Violet during this year's Threshing you were furious. On top of everything else you had to deal with this year you wished that she wasn’t one of them. You sighed, putting on your dress and tightening the last string on your corset in the front. Because of the mated bond you now had to keep your sworn enemy alive just so your fiance didn’t die due to her weaknesses. You hated the fact that you were actually starting to like her. He tried to bond with you because you were Xaden’s mate. I warned him not to touch you because you were my rider's descendent.  

   You just simply sighed making any final adjustments to your dress to smooth it out and touched your necklace and smiled as there was a soft knock on the door. “Hey Li.” You smiled softly joining your brother. “You look amazing. Is that?” “Yeah it finally turned up.” Is all you could say with Violet on the other side of Liam. “Let’s just get tonight over with.” You sighed as you always dreaded this evening but thank the gods it was finally your last year at Basgiath before you became Lieutenant Mairi. “Xaden and Garrick are?” Violet asked as Imogen joined the three of you at the courtyard. “In their right minds and not here.” you responded a little too sharply.  You knew where Xaden was and it pained your heart each year that you had to be the one to represent the group when he was you didn’t want to use the word sulking on the parapet but that was the best your mind could come up with; Garrick and Bodhi acting as his bodyguards. 

     You jumped and made a rush of air go past the group as you felt a soft brush on your hand. “Relax Mo ghràdh.” Xaden said quietly, turning you around to face him. You looked up smiling into his onyx eyes not expecting him or the other two to be down here in the slightest. “You look beautiful Mo ghràdh.” He whispered quietly to you. “What are you?” You started to ask your fiance softly as he brushed a stray piece of hair out of your eyes. “It’s our last year and you’ve endured so much this year my girl.” He soothed as his shadows were running soft touches down your arm as he held your hands tightly. “With Tairn bonding to Violet, with me making you and Imogen train Violet, so I have a chance at staying alive, to all the stuff with you know (and you did he couldn't say the words rebellion or supply runs with everyone else around), to you getting hurt; it just seemed like we could never catch a break this year.” You held your tears back as you crashed your lips into Xaden’s which he chuckled  against yours and happily returned. You let your mind wander during your kiss as the fireworks went off in the distance. Everything Xaden had said was the epiphany of your worst year at Basgiath. Which was why on winter solstice this year and also your birthday; Xaden gave you the best gift ever which was asking you to marry him. “Xad.” You said softly as your lips parted but not fully. “You don’t have to be down here.” You said softly wrapping your arms around his waist as he chuckled softly. “I’m only down here for one reason and that's to relieve you of your duties early this year.” He smirked his shadows lightly touching your ankles. “Then tell me what are you think of my Xad.” You said through a cheeky grin as he held out his hand for you to take. “I’m thinking our bed is very empty at this moment. Walk with me my queen.”  You smiled and took your fiance's hand as you both walked in the silence of each other's company towards your shared dorm on the third floor. 

    You finally broke the silence once you were on the third floor; “You know there was one thing about this year that wasn’t so bad.” You tried to smirk through your tears as his shadows now out of habit wiped your tears away whenever you cried. “And what's that?” “My birthday, that was the most romantic thing you’ve done since the first year we were fostered together.” Xaden chuckled. “It was the only fitting gift this year for you, Mo ghràdh.” He soothed “Mianach.” You whispered softly into his chest. “Mise, Geo Deo.” Xaden returned in the same tone. “I Gconai.” You mumbled softly into his chest. 

Once you both entered your room and locked the door; Xaden smirked “You know there's only one question I have left for this evening. “Hmmm.” You mumbled into his chest. “Do you want to take it off, or should I do it for you?” You giggled as his hands started to wonder up and down your dress. “You're the one that's skilled with taking off corsets.” You smirked and nibbled his ear. “Oh y/n.” You know what that does to me he purred as he worked his way down the laces on your chest. You whimpered at the feel of Xaden’s calloused hands against your almost bare chest.  Xaden nipped at the last bit of lace with his teeth and the dress came undone easily in a pool of navy blue at your feet. He unclipped your bra while sucking on your neck; as his shadows danced around your skin playfully.

 Ever since Xaden had managed to control his shadow signet, his shadows had become second nature in your bedroom activities. Sometimes they'd even be a little naughty and go places in class where Xaden couldn't physically touch at the time. “Xad.” You whimpered as he began his work sucking away on your breasts and lifting you up around his waist only to throw you on the black sheets on your shared bed. You smirked sitting up Xaden was usually the dominant one but you had your moments. “Lay down Xaddy.” You purred and poked his chest which earned a grave chuckle from his lips. “I love this side of you.” Xaden purred as your lips worked magic on one of his nipples and your hand started stroking his tip and working it's way up and down his perfect cock. Xaden started to suck on your neck, his shadows making aclit. “You've gotten me hard my queen and you're so wet for me.” “Only for you my king.” You whispered through raspy breaths as your breathing became heavier. 

   Xaden finished with a moan as you pinched his tip when he flipped both of you over with ease. You moaned out “Xaddy.” As he aggressively took one of your pert nipples in his mouth, your hands clenched the black sheets for purchase as that mouth continued It's way down your body and joined his shadows by slipping his tongue inside of you. “God's fuck Xaddy.” You moaned at his tongue slipping in and out of you, his teeth giving a small nibble on your clit every now and again. “Say it again my love.” He said through a rasped voice peppering kisses up your stomach as you whimpered at the loss of his touch where you needed it most. “Xad N-need you.” You managed to pant out  somewhat coherently. “Sshh Mo ghràdh. I have you.” He whispered as his lips aggressively found yours once more as his tip graced your entrance; his shadows still dancing inside of you. “Mine and so beautiful. Always so beautiful.” He breathed and started to trace your rebellion relic with his tongue. You whimpered and arched your hips while wrapping your legs around him once more. “You know.” He breathed and tilted your chin up so you were looking into his sexy onyx eyes. “Mmmm.” You moaned as his tip slid into you. “I may be bonded to Violet due to mated dragons but God's, y/n your the only one that could ever have me like this. You're the only one I promise Mo ghràdh.” “Please don't say her name right now.” You whimpered as Xaden chuckled and sucked your neck softly but also just enough to mark it. Violet was definitely not someone you wanted to be thinking about right now. “So wet so beautiful my baby girl.” Xaden rasped. “F-fuck Xad. I'm.” You moaned as he thrusts in and out of you with his cock and shadows at the perfect pace. “Your what Y/N?” He groaned as you knew both of you were about to completely lose all train of any common sense. “Xads.” You whimpered as you became a squirming mess around his cock. Xaden started to kiss you passionately once more as he came undone inside of you after two more thrusts. Xaden didn't pull out of you as he pulled you into his sweaty chest as you placed a soft kiss on his forehead and whispered “Mianach, Geo Deo.” As you rested your heads together; “Mianach, I Gconai.” Xad whispered in a matching tone and traced the lines of your necklace. “Thank you baby.” You whispered, squeezing his hand that was over the necklace. “No need to thank me my queen I'm just glad you have it back my love.” “Xad?” You whispered. “Hmm my girl.” “promise to never let me go ever.” You whispered nuzzling into your fiance's chest. “Never. I never plan to lose you ever my love. We've been through so much and it's only made us stronger; especially this year. I love you always.” “I love you to, forever and always.” You yawned and Xad chuckled “I suppose it is late. Curl up against me and rest y/n. I have you, good night, my love.” He said soothingly, wrapping his arms around you tighter. You couldn't even muster a good night as Xaden smiled and realized you had already drifted off. Neither of you knew what you were going to endure next but you knew it didn't matter because you would always have the safety of each other. 

Authors note: This is my first really big smut piece I put out. Any feed back is welcomed! I want to thank @angstywaifu for giving me some feedback before posting!

[blackjackkent]

OK, the Steel Watch is now gone, which means it's time to send Rakha off for her final showdown with her former partner, Enver Gortash.

I think I will spend most of tomorrow on that, but first, I'm going to do a quick circuit through the city/Undercity in search of any moments that seem at all resonant for Rakha (or that I haven't seen before/are otherwise interesting) that I missed.

-----

Highlights:

Rakha is very uninterested/unimpressed in the Umberlee temple and the funeral going on, not least because the woman out front invited her in cheerfully, and then the people inside got snarky at her because she didn't bring a present. I had her pop on invisibility and sneak around the basement cave area Hector wasn't able to visit, more to sate my own curiosity than anything else. There's not much of interest in the basement though. I briefly tried to have her steal from the big treasure pile; turns out Umberlee herself gets pissed off if you do this and casts a giant ice storm that legitimately scared the shit out of me. XD

Whoops. I reloaded cos Rakha didn't really care about anything that was in the treasure pile anyway. Heading deeper, I found a hidden room behind a sandstone wall:

I wasted a fifth-level spell to get past it, and the chest inside was not at ALL interesting (less than 150 gold), but the cave itself was pretty neat:

There's a room with a door labeled "Keep Out" in what appears to be the basement of Jannath's house; the room itself is called "Gardener's Basement" and has two pressure plates in it. Standing on both of them at the same time opens a wall leading to a hatch down to Minsc's hideout in the sewers! I did not know you could get here this way and it is a MUCH faster route than dealing with the annoying cistern hatchway pumps puzzle, so I will definitely be keeping this in mind for non-liveblog runs.

Speaking of Jannath, she's having a much better day, unsurprisingly, since she's not married to Oskar this time. Her butler, when we approach, welcomes us to her "celebration of the arts", a showing of art pieces she's had commissioned from a variety of sources; we have the option to tell her about her missing fiance, but Rakha could not give less of a shit about Oskar and neither could I. I do think that Rakha probably does get a bit of a jumpscare when the guy identifies himself as Jannath's butler, since the only association she has with the word is Sceleritas. But Jannath's butler is decidedly more chill. Rakha also has the option to ask if the celebration has any "icons depicting Bhaal" which feels like it would be a weird thing to ask in the best of circumstances, and indeed the butler seems a bit bemused, but just says he's not familiar with that "particular style." Inside, there is no floating furniture so it continues to be a definite improvement, although all the visiting nobles attending the party are dicks to Rakha except for the one who mistakes her for a visiting art dealer and the two who are in the middle of walking outside to have a duel. Out of curiosity, I followed the two duelists outside and Rakha watched in deep bemusement as one of them killed the other.

The dead dude is carrying a letter from the manager of Lady Jannath's tin mine to the lady in question, informing her that the mine is tapped out and she should find "a patriar family with too much money and not enough sense" and sell it. Finally, we wandered into a side passageway (the one that leads to Oskar's atalier) and discovered the chamberlain bullying one of the lower-level servants. Rakha had the option to intimidate the guy into being nicer and I had her take it because she's had a long day. XD Jannath herself was perfectly polite and willing to sell Rakha paintings if Rakha wanted them. I can't tell if there would be any valid mechanical reason to do this.

Stopped in at the Society of Brilliance. I got really excited briefly cos the head of the place said Blurg and Omeluum were upstairs, and I thought maybe Omeluum had survived somehow, but no, it's just Blurg. He's quite cheerful and remarkably glad to see her given that Rakha didn't actually interact with them for more than about five minutes; he definitely doesn't know Omeluum is dead, which leaves Rakha in the uncomfortable position of informing him. He takes it well, all things considered, but he's clearly upset. Poor guy. :(

Stopped and said hi to Dammon, who is nicely set up with his new forge near the Elfsong. He's very pleased to see Rakha, which is still an unusual enough thing for it to be striking for her. She (I assume awkwardly but sincerely) complimented him on his forge, and is legitimately glad he's doing well.

Ran into Arabella in the sewers! Another person Rakha is oddly glad to see; she felt somewhat connected to Arabella's wild magic back in the shadowlands. Her own magic has settled down now, though, and Arabella seems to be gaining control of hers as well, in a way that is actually utterly baffling and therefore fascinating to Rakha; she's able to see into the history of things like rocks and all the events that have passed by around them. She talks to Rakha a little about how Withers told her to follow the Weave, to let it guide her. Rakha wishes, a little, that she was free to simply do the same - follow the pushes and pulls of the magic around her and not have to care about the fate of the world and the battles to come.

After some considering, I completely bypassed the graveyard, the Baldur's Mouth Gazette, the Fist barracks, and Mystic Carrion, on the grounds that Rakha both does not know about them and has no reason to care.

The Bhaalists in Bloomridge Park are neither competent nor intelligent, as they staged an ambush on Rakha despite the fact that Orin is super dead and also Rakha spotted them hiding in the bushes. Quick fight that Rakha allowed herself to take a little bit of satisfaction in, since they picked it and not her. She is, however, very troubled by the Fist who shows up afterwards, channels the elder brain and helps her defeat the Bhaalists, and then makes some distinctly ominous communication afterwards: "Do not wast-- TIME- This mind cannot bear us- it- turns to liquid- listen-- just LISTEN- We learn- we grow- loosen our clumsy bindings- AID US-- necromancer- dead--- changeling fallen-- only tyrant remains-- KILL HIM-- YOU--- have a place- in my Grand Design--"

Finally, stopped by Flymm's Cobblers, which is going to get its own separate post because a lot happened.

[dragons-clause]

The Dragon's Clause

Sabo x Fem Reader CW: Forced marriage, intrigue, character death, fantasy violence, blood, magic, language, smut, 18+ mdni

Tag List: @mfreedomstuff @manachiichan

Chapter 9: This Tea is -

Your demonstration for Koala had turned into a spar with one of the knights, which had turned into a spar with two, three, and then all of them before the day was out. In the end you’d begun to instruct them, as you had bested each easily and felt it was only right to help them. Instruction also gave you a couple days to recover.

You’d been keeping up with your practicing, but practicing alone and sparring with actual human partners were two very different things. After the first knight had lost, the others hadn’t gone easy on you, but even by the time you had gotten to the last, you still barely had enough left to tend to yourself. It was nice to be able to push yourself like that.

The entire thing had been a good bonding exercise at the end of it all. What had been tense for a few moments turned into actual camaraderie when all was said and done. You’d even taken your meal with the other knights before returning to your quarters afterward. Koala had been there the entire time, she hadn’t stepped in to stop anything, and hadn’t even flinched when you’d decided to eat with them. The almost constant warm smile on her face made it hard to read her, but she didn’t patronize you, or speak against your decisions, so you weren’t too worried about it.

You were certain that Koala’s attentiveness to you and your needs wasn’t just a show of good manners on her part, or even an order from the Duke. She was likely keeping an eye on you, just as much as she was attending to you, and you couldn’t fault her for it. Everything surrounding your arrival was rushed and uncomfortable, and even the estate’s swift reactions weren’t enough to take the edge off how fast it was all happening.

Even to you it looked very much like the King had rushed his son off to the Northern border, understaffed and ill-prepared, specifically to drop some manner of fiance in his lap. In this case it had also served him a few other purposes as well, because now you weren’t the King’s problem anymore, and he had reason to complain to your Uncle.

You hadn’t heard anything from him since you arrived, but you weren’t expecting anything as it was. Even if he wanted to blame you for King Outlook’s reaction, there wasn’t anything you could do, and there wasn’t anything he could do to you because of it. He’d be more apt to scrawl his frustrations out on a piece of paper and light it on fire, instead of wasting money having it delivered to you, just so you could set it on fire and be rid of it.

From demonstration, to spar, to teaching, to something almost like a routine. When you were done with your morning routine, Koala met you in your quarters.

“Good morning Lady Lulusia,” she greets you same as always, but there’s something extra in her voice this morning.

“Indeed, Koala.” You reply, a smile pulling at your lips. “What has you in such a chipper mood today, if I may ask?”

“Ah, I’ve been found out.” She chimes, helping you to get cleaned up. “The Grand Duke has returned this morning. He’s currently handling some business in his office, but after breakfast I’ll have you both in the main tea room to finally meet.”

“Oh, hm.” You aren’t really sure how to react. You knew he wasn’t going to be away much longer, but you were already used to the place without him in it. “Since he has work to attend to, I’m assuming we needn’t rush?”

“Precisely.” Koala assures you. “Are you sure there isn’t anything you want to know?”

You consider it a moment and shake your head. “No, all the rumors I’ve heard until now haven’t stood up to what I’ve experienced since I arrived. I’ve no need to put any stock in them, but I also don’t want your loyalty to color my impression of him.” You sigh a little as Koala washes your hair. “At least no more than it already has.”

She hums positively, and the two of you continued things in relative silence. You didn’t even have to ask her to keep things simple in terms of your clothes and your hair, she was already on the same page. Whether it was because she knew it’s what you’d prefer, or because she knew it was because the Duke would prefer it, you weren’t sure.

Asking would give you more information than you wanted, so you just let it be.

After a nice breakfast you were escorted to the previously mentioned tea room. You’d seen it before when you’d gotten a tour of the estate from Hack. This one was specifically for the Duke’s use, and while he could allow others to make use of it, there were enough other tea rooms, and rooms in general, that no one had ever asked. It was a little more informal than his office, but the room was tailored to the Duke’s preferences.

How the room looked was really the only true impression you had of Duke Sabo, and it didn’t make you uncomfortable. It faced the morning sun, and was kept cooler in the afternoon by being in the shade at that point. Sheer curtains were drawn to diffuse any harsh light, but the use of lighter woods in the decorations allowed the sunlight to keep the room relatively bright. A gas glass chandelier, more function than form, helped bring more light into the room, but it was meant for tea and snacks, and wasn’t really bright like a reading desk or a room with more direct sunlight.

Still, it wasn’t so dark as to force your eyes to adjust, and it was comfortable in the sense that it wasn’t too warm or cold in the room.

A moment after Koala left you in the room, Hack came in with a tray with a teapot and cups on it, followed by a kitchen made who was pushing a small cart with some snacks on it, and hot water for the tea. You took a seat on the sofa facing the door and thanked Hack as he made a fresh pot of tea right there.

After unloading her cart, the kitchen maid left, and the Duke entered just as Hack was pouring tea for the two of you. He was tall, but not towering in his height. His clothes gave him a slender look, but you knew the illusion for what it was. Loose waves of sun-kissed hair framed his face, more so on the left side. A means for covering the scar there.

You’d heard the title Scarred Beast of the North, but there was no monster standing across from you. A young duke who carried the scars of his station, perhaps, but nothing worse than that. The way he seemed to style his very hair to limit the possible discomfort of his scar spoke of a kindness that didn’t level with a lot of the rumors you had heard.

A twist of guilt slipped softly through you, the scar had to be painful, but you didn’t feel it detracted from his looks in the least.

“Grand Duke Sabo Eldgard de Goa,” you say, inclining your head but staying seated.

“Lady A’tana Écaille de Lulusia,” he replies, thanking Hack and dismissing the butler as he seats himself across from you. For a moment you’re not sure you’re convinced he’s the biological son at all. His golden hair is similar to his mother’s, certainly, but the way he carries himself is almost at odds with the rest of the royal family. The smile on his face is kind, or at least inviting, and there’s something guarded behind it.

You’ve seen more complexity in his tone and his face in seconds than you’d seen in his family over the course of your stay with them. You’ve also certainly seen more kindness from him, given that you aren’t currently standing in the dining room watching him eat breakfast while you, yourself, are denied.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” You say as he takes a sip of tea.

“My apologies for making you wait so long.” He offers.

“Your capable staff made it feel like no time at all had passed,” you reply, after taking a sip of tea yourself. “I’m also aware of what kept you, and guarding the border is an honorable vocation.”

“I’m glad you think so,” he says, a smile pulling at his lips. “It seems my father has put you in quite the predicament.”

You look up into blue eyes that seem determined to pierce your soul if you’d allow it and shift your gaze away. Keeping an eye on the delicious cup of tea before you is a far safer option, lest the young Duke learn all there is to know about you from a single gaze.

“If your father’s words are true, my situation is the fault of my Uncle.” You clarify.

“Regardless, it’s an unfair position for you to be in. I’m sure I can convince my father to allow you to return to your family in Lulusia.” He offers.

You flinch despite your efforts, setting the saucer and the teacup on the table carefully. Perhaps he wasn’t so different from the rest of his family. It was possible the Duke simply had no desire to marry at all, and was pushing back against the pressure of king and country in the matter of producing an heir. However, your lineage wasn’t a secret, and you had no doubt he was aware of it from the moment news reached Goa about your journey from Lulusia to their capital.

Your father had vouched for the validity of your blood, but when you hadn’t been able to marry before his death there was no one else to speak for you. Titles and land followed fathers and sons, and with no living ties for you, there was no one honorable to speak up.

It was how you’d gone from princess to lady in waiting, and how you’d gone from that to effectively becoming a sacrifice.

You should be relieved. If the Duke meant to see you returned to Lulusia, then his father would certainly make good on his word, stripping you of your title and all things connected to it. You’d be able to head to the Dawn Kingdom and become a border knight.

Everything you wanted.

But it also felt like you were being dismissed before you’d even been given a chance. Whether it was because of your blood or something else, it didn’t matter. It twisted inside you and left a sour taste in your mouth.

 “Nobility rarely have a choice regarding their partners.” You respond evenly. “But I understand any misgivings you would have.”

“Misgivings I would have?”

“I was a lady in waiting just a few weeks ago. Hardly a -.” You stop and take a breath, you can feel yourself losing your hold on your emotions. You didn’t want to admit it, but you liked it here. The staff were friendlier than those in your own home, and leaps beyond what you’d experienced with the King of Goa. “My apologies, I just mean that I’m not in a position to provide you anything in return. There’s not an objectively good reason for this union, so I understand your misgivings.”

The silence hangs heavy between you, and even as good as Hack’s tea is, it’s not enough to smooth out the feeling in the air. You don’t know how much of it you can take, but once you finish your cup of tea you can excuse yourself without being rude.

“I should be the one apologizing,” Sabo says after a moment. “I think there’s a bit of a misunderstanding between us, and it seems to be more my fault than anything else.” The light tone of his voice causes you to pull your gaze up and catch a surprisingly sheepish look on the Duke’s face.

“Allow me a moment to clear the air, before you leave… please.” He requests, and after a beat you nod your head, sitting back in your seat.

“My father has a habit of sending fiancées to my front door who only desire the coffers within the estate, and the power that it, and the title, bestows. They are, more than not, loyal to my parents, and know little of me beyond the rumors of the court, which I can assure you are more colorful and varied than what you’ve heard in Lulusia.

“Most couldn’t even handle Koala, and left before ever even really meeting me.” He admits with a smile. “My staff do not suffer fools, nor do they take kindly to attempts of bribery.”

The look he gives you is apologetic. “When you were announced I didn’t know what to think. You were from Lulusia, and last I had heard, were to be wed to my brother. All I knew was that you were now, by my father’s decree, my fiance, and residing at my estate. But within a few days you had won over Koala and Hack, and by the time I was able to return I wasn’t sure if I was the master of my own home anymore.” The smile on his face is relaxed, and amused more than anything else.

“Especially not after seeing my supposed fiance in the training grounds, giving pointers to my guards.”

You couldn’t stop the heat that rose in your face, looking away a little and pressing your lips together. You hadn’t noticed his presence, and either he had been too far away or you had been too engrossed in your task this morning. Something inspired you to test the waters, and your admonishment turned into a smile.

“Perhaps if your Grace had invested more time in training his guard.” You offer. There’s playfulness in your tone, an expression on your face that’s far from condescending, but it’s a dangerous game to poke a Grand Duke in any kingdom.

Sabo’s face breaks completely, shock scrawled across it. He recovers quickly, clearing his throat and trying to look irritated by it. “I have, perhaps, been lax in training the estate guards, but quite frankly there’s good reason for that.”

“Oh?” You prompt, emboldened by his reaction.

“Mm,” he hums, a sly smile replacing the irritation. “That, however, is a secret, Lady Lulusia.”

“I see. Shall I cease with training your guards then?” You question, glancing up at him after you pour yourself some more tea.

“I wouldn’t dream to deny you something that is bringing you joy.” He answers evenly, his demeanor back to normal. “In light of avoiding any further misunderstandings, am I correct in assuming that it would be prudent for plans to be made for an engagement party?”

Your nose crinkles despite your efforts but you nod. “Such would be proper.” You agree. “It would also be my debut in high society, as I did not have a débutante ball when I was younger.” You admit. Most young noble girls debuted at some point between fifteen and nineteen years of age.

Factors included things like older or younger siblings, educational needs, personal development and the individual themselves. Sometimes royal events would delay someone’s debut, but the average age was seventeen for most noble children.

“I shall leave it to you then, my lady, if you desire two parties, or-.” Sabo’s question dies on his lips as you shake your head.

“One is more than sufficient, your grace.” You reply a little more hastily than was proper.

“It seems the lady is not a fan of parties.” You can hear the amusement in his voice, the slip of a smile on his lips looking far more mischievous than it has any right to.

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say I loathe them,” you admit, taking a sip of tea. “But they are a function of this life, and not precisely an enjoyment of it.”

“Training guards, however, is an enjoyment?” He questions.

You pause. There hasn’t been any hostility in his words when he references your enjoyment of swordplay, but you’re well-aware of the way it’s viewed for a lady to enjoy such things. Especially over more typical hobbies like embroidery and music - not that you were bad at either, but your passion was what it was.

“There is enjoyment in the art of the sword itself, your grace.” You answer honestly. “As well, there is enjoyment in teaching on its own. Being able to partake in two kinds of enjoyment at once has been a pleasure I hadn’t known before now.”

“… Is there anything else you enjoy?”

“Reading.” You answer, giving him a warm smile. “Hack has already shown me the library here, and I’ve been enjoying reading in the evenings.”

“A scholar and a warrior.” Sabo says, and there’s no hint of sarcasm in his voice. The sincerity nearly makes you blush, but instead you sit quietly for a moment. The silence this time is far more comfortable and decidedly less oppressive.

“I would, if you are amenable to it, love to spar with you myself.” He requests after a moment. “Not that you should feel required to do so, by any means.”

“Tomorrow morning, perhaps?” You prompt and he smiles.

“Tomorrow morning then.”

[jamiebamberdaily]

A Year in Review : Jamie's 2023

Welcome to our look back on Jamie’s 2023! It’s been a tough year for the entertainment industry in general, with the SAG-AFTRA strike taking place from July all the way through to November, and we know that this impacted Jamie as he chose to take a stand along with many of his other acting peers. Yet despite this, Jamie has accomplished a lot in this year & it’s time to look back at some of the highlights!

February saw the release of Beyond Paradise on BBC1. Jamie played Archie Hughes, an ex flame of Martha’s who joined forces with her in getting her new business in Shipton Abbott up and running. Unfortunately for Archie, Martha had moved back to Shipton Abbott with her fiance, Humphrey and the two didn’t quite see eye to eye. This was such a fun role for Jamie and a complete joy to watch.

April was an exciting month which saw Jamie celebrating his 50th birthday and as always we marked the occasion with a birthday video which many of you took part in! He also travelled over to Cannes to premiere Cannes Confidential at  the 6th Canneseries Festival alongside co-stars Lucie Lucas and Tamara Marthe.

May saw Jamie treading the boards once again in Uncle Glen’s Menagerie at the Arcola Theatre which we were lucky enough to go and watch. Such an incredible evening of ad-lib comedy and superb acting from an incredible group of actors and comedians. As ever we want to thank Jamie for his time that he spent chatting with us before and after the show too.

In June finally came the UK release of Cannes Confidential on Acorn TV and we LOVED Harry King from the moment we met him. Such a fun, easy watching show and such a complex character in which Jamie got to show off all sides of his talent, from comedy through to some really beautiful emotional moments, especially in scenes with his on-screen daughter Emilie who was played by his real life daughter Ava in a brilliant debut performance. June also saw the release of Trader over in Russia - a project which Jamie filmed alongside his amazing wife Kerry all the way back in 2019! And of course, we cannot forget the epic BSG reunion which took place when Jamie headed over to Phoenix Fan Fusion. #SoSayWeAll

July brought some incredible news as Jamie announced that he was taking part in Kenny Logan’s RWC Challenge - an epic 700 mile cycle & walking challenge from Edinburgh to Paris, all to raise money for the My Name’5 Doddie Foundation. Throughout July all the way through to October when the challenge took place, Jamie was training hard to ensure that he was ready for the mammoth challenge ahead.

August saw the release of Who Is Erin Carter? on Netflix - a twisty, fast paced thriller from the mind of Strike Back writer, Jack Lothian. Jamie played DI Jim Armstrong, a mysterious figure from Erin’s past. Though he was only in two episodes. We LOVED this character and with the series being left open ended, we really hope we get to see more of Jim in the future.

In September, Jamie attended the National Television Awards alongside his Beyond Paradise cast mates as the show was nominated for Best New Drama (which sadly it didn’t win).

And onto October which was such an important month for Jamie as all the training paid off when he & so many other incredible people including Kenny & Gabby Logan, Ally McCoist, Jason Fox and Jimmy Nesbitt started their gruelling trek on bike and foot from Murrayfield Stadium in Edinburgh to the Stade de France in Paris. This challenge was hugely life changing for the whole team (as well as a whole lot of fun!) and they smashed their target of raising £555,555 between them for the My Name’5 Doddie Foundation. We were honoured to be able to cheer them all on for a small part of this journey when we saw them off in York on day 3 and welcomed them back as they ended the day at the beautiful Belvoir Castle. To top off an incredible achievement, Jamie was also asked to become an ambassador for the foundation - a role we know that he will embody so well.

October also saw Jamie joining Cameo, giving fans the opportunity to get a personalised video message from him (which we of course took advantage of also!) and to round off the month, Cannes Confidential aired on French TV, renamed  Cannes Police Criminalle, with the entire show having been dubbed into French by the original cast.

November saw Jamie as a guest on fellow RWC Challenge team mate Archie Curzon’s podcast, The Rig Biz Pod, which was a brilliantly funny interview.

And to round the year off, December gave us announcements of not one but two new projects to look forward to in 2024! Firstly, Heavyweight, starring and produced by Jamie’s Marcella co-star Nicholas Pinnock, will be a gritty London drama focusing on the mental state of a boxer and his cornermen backstage before the fight as the clock ticks down. 

With the strike finally over, Jamie travelled to Bulgaria to film Strangers alongside Sienna Guillory, Emmett J Scanlan and Jon Voight. The project is described as an action thriller and will be released in 2024 on Paramount Plus.

As well as these two exciting announcements, AKA Blackbird, the brainchild of BSG alumni James Callis was finally released as an audiobook! With so many former BSG stars taking part in it, including Jamie and Kerry, it’s definitely not one to be missed.

And there you have it! Despite some difficult times, Jamie really did achieve a lot this year and with 2 projects already to look forward to, we can’t wait to see what else 2024 has in store.

As ever, we would like to thank you for all the support of our page over this past year and wish you all a very happy new year!

Jemma and Sophie. xx

[reigningqueenofwords]

No Boys Allowed

Pairings: past Tony x Reader, Thor x Reader

Part 16 of Petty Insults

While Nat showered, you relaxed on her bed. The two of you planned to get some lunch in the city, do some shopping, and see what you felt like doing after.

Your mind kept drifting to Tony, but thankfully Nat showered fast and the two of you made your way down the tower.

Clint spotted the pair of you and put an arm over each of your shoulders. “So, what are my two favorite girls up to?”

You smiled as you saw him. “Hey Clint.”

“We’re having a girls day so stay away.” Nat teased.

He pretended to pout. “I can’t tag along and keep the paparazzi away?”

“You practically are the paparazzi.” You giggled. “Girls only.”

Clint chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Have fun. You deserve it.” He said to the both of you before removing his arms and heading away.

You smiled as you and Nat grabbed a taxi, not feeling like fancy cars today. You quickly chose a lunch destination and began relaxing. It was obvious when people began snapping your pictures, but you did your best to brush it off. If you said anything, it could be twisted into something that created more drama.

Nat did her best to shield you away from people who looked judgemental, keeping you in not crowded stores. Despite feeling eyes on you at all times, you managed to relax and enjoy your time with your good friend. “Come on, you’re gonna need them soon!” She chuckled, tugging you towards the maternity store.

“Not yet! I’ll just live in Thor’s shirts!” You laughed at her near whining.

“You are my only female friend! Let me relish in this!”

You pouted. “Fine.” You tried things on for her happiness, but ended up liking quite a lot of them anyway. You wound up getting some comfy pants, and a few dresses.

“Wanna get our nails done?” You asked as you walked out of the maternity store, leaving that choice up to her.

“Sure. Mine will chip off in no time but I like the attention.” She followed you, smiling.

Chuckling, you gave her a knowing look. “You mean from a certain archer?” You teased.

She made a face. “Perhaps.” She nudged you gently.

You smiled at her. “I’m sure you could be wearing a potato sack and he’d notice.” You winked playfully. In all reality, you couldn’t tell one way or another with them. You were so used to seeing them together, and they were always playful. Was it playful flirting? Was it just them goofing off? Was there more?

Nat seemed to know what you were thinking and chuckled. “You have enough relationship drama. Don’t fret about mine.” She smiled.

“You have a point.” You agreed easily as you motioned to a nail salon. “They look okay?”

She nodded, smiling as the two of you instantly got seen.

You relaxed, having not been pampered in a while. The two of you chatted while they worked on you. For a bit, you felt like just another woman out with her friend, and not Thor’s fiance out with one of the Avengers. Even with the looks, whispers, and random pictures. You were able to relax and laugh without a worry.

“Okay, so we did some clothes shopping, got our nails done, what next?” She asked, glancing over to you.

You thought for a minute. “Should we watch a movie? Or take a walk down at Central Park?”

“Movie!” She said quickly. “You can’t tell me you don’t love movie theatre popcorn, and that you won’t enjoy lounging in those super comfy new chairs. AND no pictures!”

You giggled. “Movies it is. We can finally pick a girly one.” The theater sounded great.

Walking out of the theater, your arms were linked. “Is it bad that part of me wishes that we had dragged Clint along for that one?”  You laughed, trying to imagine him being forced to sit through a girly movie.

“We’ll trick him into coming with us the next time. We’ll drag him to a girly one.” Nat grinned. “Knowing him, he’d enjoy it.”

“Now I really hope I have a girl.” You laughed harder. “Clint would be the uncle that gets suckered into glittery pink nail polish!”

“Yeah.” She smiled fondly. “He would be up for that. Good at it too.”

You raised an eyebrow. “He’s good at nail polish?” You chuckled.

She almost blushed. “It was one time I was sick!”

Nodding, you gave her a knowing look. “Maybe I’ll have him come do my toes when I can’t see them anymore.” You said teasingly.

“He definitely will.” She smiled. “Anything else before we end this fantastic day?”

“How about we grab a couple pizzas, eat at the tower, then head to my house?” You shrugged, figuring this way you could let Clint and Bruce know about the dinner, as well.

“Sure.” She nodded, really wanting to make this day fun for you so she went with whatever you wanted.

Nat carried the bags, and you had the three pizzas stacked in your arms. “Boys!” You called out, laughing when you heard Clint first.

“They have returned!”

You smiled as you saw Nat and Clint have a silent conversation before setting down the boxes. Bruce came in minutes later, smiling shyly at you before giving you a hug. “Hey.” You smiled, hugging him back.

“How was your girls day?” He asked, chuckling as he opened one of the boxes.

“It was great. Very much needed.” You smiled cheerfully, letting them all get their plates before getting some for yourself.

“Sir? I would like to inform you that Y/N and Miss Romanoff have returned. They are currently in the dining room.” JARVIS spoke, breaking Tony’s train of thoughts.

Tony glanced up at the time and sighed, realizing he had been thinking for hours. He fought with himself whether or not to go see you, rubbing his hands together. Finally, he took a deep breath and left the lab. He knew you, and you’d wind up coming all the way down here just to make sure that he ate.

He peeked into the dining room, calmly walking up to the table. “Evening everyone.”

The group had been talking about Nat playing your shield when he walked in, making them look over. “Hey.” You gave him a smile before looking back towards your food. The guys gave them a nod, their mouths full.

“Hey.” Nat greeted him. “Anyways, we’re in the maternity store, and I’m trying to help her pick some clothes out. I see this kid- he looked like he was about 15- in the store.” She went on, sipping her drink.

Tony listened as he picked at a slice of pizza, blushing as you looked over to him a couple times. He tried to eye Bruce as a distracted.

Your voice made him look up, however. “I thought she was going to pummel some guy!” You laughed. “it turned out that his wife was behind me, and he was happy to see her or something. It was so cute for them, and poor Nat muttered something as she walked away.”

Tony smiled as you laughed, the sound bringing him out of his thoughts. “It sounds eventful.” Clint chuckled.

“We got our nails done, and went to the movies, so we were able to relax, too.” You told him.

Tony felt jealous that you got along with everyone, but he quickly reminded himself that this was his doing. He thought of something quickly, going to the fridge and making everyone a bowl of ice cream before bringing it out on a tray.

You smiled and thanked Tony for the ice cream before taking a small bite. “Are you staying here tonight?” Bruce asked, glancing at you.

“Nope.” You shook your head. “Nat is gonna stay with us for the night.”

Nat snickered as Clint did, causing everyone to look at them both.

Clint raised his hands in surrender, holding back a laugh. “What?” You raised an eyebrow, wondering what was causing their amusement.

“Steve’s getting replaced by Nat tonight.” Clint giggled, earning a smack as usual by Natasha.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Really?” You tossed a tiny piece of crust at him that was on your plate from your pizza. “Why don’t you come tag along and you can keep him company in the tree house?” You chuckled.

His face lit up. “Tree house?”

Tony bit his tongue to keep himself from saying anything, but the second he was done with his slice he left as quietly as possible.

A moment after he left, you felt the guilt bubbling up again. Letting out a sigh, you grabbed his bowl of ice cream and slowly made your way to his lab. Where else would he be?

Tony was lying back on a swivel chair, staring up at the lights when you walked in. He sat up when he heard your footsteps. “You left without your ice cream.” You told him when he looked at you. “I thought I’d bring it to you.”

He took it graciously. “Thank you.” He took the spoon and played with it a little. He looked at you before taking a bite.

“Did I do something wrong?” You asked, playing with the hem of your dress and looking down. “Say something wrong?”

“No, of course not.” He shook his head. “You know me, I just live in the labs sometimes.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and sighed, shaking your head. “You’re a terrible liar, Tony.” You reminded him. “But, I won’t force you to talk to me. Thank you for at least joining us for pizza.” At least it was something, right? “I’ll let you get back to your tinkering. I’ll see you this weekend, though, right?” You looked at him, hopeful.

“Yes, I’ll be there.” He stood, his hands behind his back. “Thank you for the pizza. I just didn’t feel comfortable there is all. I’m trying not to be a debbie downer.” He shrugged softly.

“Oh…” You felt bad that he wasn’t feeling comfortable. They had been his friends before you’d ever met them.

“Please don’t beat yourself over it. I know that’s rich coming from me, but you shouldn’t be worried.” He took a step forward and placed a hand on your shoulder. “It’s just taking me some time is all.”

You teared up. “I’ve ruined the Avengers.” You breathed, backing up. “I’m just…I’m gonna go.” You told him softly, not wanting to break down.

“No, please don’t.” In one swift movement he brought you into a hug, rubbing your back in effort to comfort you. “I’m sorry.”

“But, I did!” You pushed against him, not putting much effort behind it. “You were all friends, and now…”

“We’re still friends. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He sighed.

“You weren’t!” You pointed out. “Were you upset because I asked Clint to come stay, too?” You looked up at him. “He’s been like a big goofball lately, and I thought that he’d enjoy it.” You defended yourself. “And I thought that everyone is so used to being near everyone else, it’d be nice for the guys to hang out some.”

He nodded. “If I’m being honest it was because you asked Clint. I built the house for you.” He sighed. “I wish you just would have stayed in the tower. It’s no different.”

Your shoulders slumped. “Nat wanted me to, but I…I just can’t. At least not yet.” You shook your head. “It’s hard, Tony, even being here for dinner was hard. I’m trying to keep everyone happy, trying not to fall apart over you, trying to get ready to have a baby, trying to get used to that being my home, and not the tower.” You ran your hand through your hair. “I’ll just tell him to forget it. It’s fine.” Shrugging, you sighed, feeling like you were falling apart. “JARVIS? Make sure you shut down his power for a few hours and make him get some sleep, okay?” You asked before you walked out.

Tony clenched his jaw, hating how you always ended the conversation. He locked himself in his lab that night, ignoring any type of notification he received.

The others looked up when you entered the dining room. “Sorry, Clint, you can stay over another time.” You sniffed, shaking your head. “I don’t think I’ll be coming to the tower much anymore.”

Bruce, the one who had always been on your side through the whole thing stayed silent this time, going to check on Tony.

Nat was immediately by your side. “What’d he do? Clint can still come. It’s your house after all.” She rubbed your shoulders.

“He said he left because he didn’t want to make me uncomfortable, and he was upset because I asked Clint over when he built the house for me, basically. I know he’s lying, though.” You wiped your cheeks.

“I mean, I can see his point.” Clint shrugged.

Nat sent him a glare before ushering you to sit down. “Clint, shut up.” She hissed.

You sighed and sat back in your chair. “I can’t win.” You groaned.

“I think it’s best you stay away from the Tower for a while. Seeing him is making things worse for the both of you.” Nat soothed, tossing a cup at Clint when he went to open his mouth. “Just me and you tonight okay? I’ll call us a cab.”

“Yeah. Sounds good.” You sighed, crossing your arms on the table and resting your head on them.

Clint waved to both as a goodbye, still sticking to his beliefs that this was all a huge mess.

You leaned against Nat, hoping things went well at home.

[conflictandscotchblog]

Turbulence On A Trip With My Ex-Wife (Part Two)

Read part one here

We landed in Dallas almost an hour late, but still needed to make our connecting flight to Oklahoma City. We landed in Terminal C and needed to be in Terminal A in about forty-minutes. What I was about to learn was forty-minutes, inside an airport, goes by in the blink of an eye.

For those who travel, after a plane lands, it takes forever to actually get their luggage and leave.

Why?

Because everyone takes their time retrieving their belongings from the over head, or from under their seats. Or, in the case of our flight, wait while a father re-constructs a stroller in the aisle for his three kids.

Every one stands at once, but no one moves. And I’m sure that many of those standing and waiting have connecting flights as well, but no one says anything.

No one, that is, except for my ex-wife, Arlene.

“Come on, people,” she shouted into the stifled air, “some people have connecting flights, they need to get off.”

That did nothing to move people along, and did everything to catch the dozens of dirty looks tossed in our direction.

When we finally were able to move down the aisle, and as the flight attendants wished us a good day, Arlene offered her advice. She recommended that, in the future, they should let people with connecting flights off the plane first.

“Yes, ma’am, thank you,” one replied, “and you have a good day.”

My ex-wife, changing the way that people will fly.

Since that flight, I wondered if what happened next was in direct proportion to Arlene’s advice to the attendants.

Before we left the plane, Arlene did ask one the attendant by the exit to double check our connecting flight. She reassured us that, yes, we needed to go to Terminal A (we currently were in Terminal C).

Dallas is a big airport. To get from Terminal A to Terminal C required us to take an escalator (tallest escalator I have ever seen) then wait for a Tram.

We did just that and, upon arriving at our gate in Terminal A, were informed that the gate had changed and we needed to go back to Terminal C.

Was this pay back for Arlene’s unsolicited advice to the attendant? The world may never know

Actually, there is no ‘may’ about it, we will never know.

Sabotage or not, tic-toc-tic-toc.

Time was on the run and, unfortunately, so were we.

I’m old, carrying luggage, over weight and out of shape. The last thing I should be doing on a Thursday night in Texas is run through an airport to catch a flight.

And, yet, there I was.

Back to the Tram, and again, we wait.

On the platform, we spoke to a man in full uniform. When he heard our plight, he was nice enough to doubled-check our departure time. He reassured us we’d make our flight.

“Are you a pilot?” Arlene asked the man in full uniform.

Taken aback, he smiled and joked, “What gave me away?”

“Obviously, your hat,” I said.

Took the Tram back to Terminal C, then down the three story escalator.

By this point Arlene, who does run everyday, was half a football field ahead of me, already at the counter. Two employees, and the pilot, listened as Arlene told them not to close the gate, and pointed toward me.

“If he has a heart attack,” she threatened, “it will be your fault.”

It was not an idle threat. In that moment, carrying luggage and running through the airport, a heart attack was definitely within my wheelhouse.

The pilot stayed with Arlene, I believe, to keep them from closing the gate until I got there.

And get there we did. We were the last two people to board, and more dirty looks tossed our way as we headed down the aisle to our seats.

Its a very short hop to Oklahoma City from Dallas, and a much smaller airport. No running this time, just a leisure walk to baggage claim where, Arlene still insisted, that her bag would not be there.

Spoiler alert, it was.

Dennis, Arlene’s ‘fiance’, who arrived a day earlier in Oklahoma City, waited for us outside the terminal in rental car. He also had a predetermined bottle of scotch for me, and a bottle of white wine for Arlene, to decompress after our travels.

First night, we stayed at a hotel close to the airport. Once there, we went to our rooms, dropped off luggage, found glasses and ice, and commiserated in the Radisson Hotel lobby with drinks in hand about our trip.

It’s was a long day, but finally in Oklahoma City, with the wedding festivities to look forward to over the next few days.

So, what did we learn from all this?

No over sized toiletries? Check.

Consolidate and carry smaller luggage? Check.

Don’t do connecting flights? Check.

Less travel (at least for me)? Double-check.

[hugmeforalittlelonger]

yesterday i drove up to la at 6am with 30 minutes of sleep.

hung out with my j, his brother, and his brother’s fiancé. we got coffee. then we went to the arc’teryx opening because l (j’s gf) works there. we got some free stuff. we went to the dog park to let j’s brother and fiancé’s new schnauzer puppy play. there was a guy with like 25 dogs at the park. after that we got ramen and boba. after that we went to the marina and chilled for a bit. j and i went back to his apartment and watched surfing and golfing videos on youtube for two hours. j's brother and their fiance pulled up. l got off her shift at arcteryx and then we all went to a thai spot on the east side that was super delicious. i finally tried khao soi… wow… then i had to say goodbye and went to c's birthday party at their pad in atwater. my social anxiety was peaking on the way there. i bought some seltzers and got to their crib. i was welcomed by my m and p. introduced myself to their la friends (s,z, and k). went to the back and was met with j(2), his gf d, m, and k(2) friends. my la friends (d and c(2)) i haven’t seen in a while came and i was super happy to see them. we all hung out in the back and ate and drank a lot. after a couple hours we went to some club/bar. everybody got their before me and my la friends so when we tried getting in they wouldn’t let us in oddly enough. so we went back to my their apartment in koreatown where all their other homies were. i introduced myself to all of them. i chilled and drank some beers. played some smash ultimate. they were blasting music on the tv with the likes of arca boiler room set, bladee cold visions, neyo, brazilian funk, etc. (funny rotation retrospectively but it’s purely vibes) coke and ketamine were being snorted (never done either one nor am i usually in situations where that's a thing so it was interesting seeing that happening and people being in k-holes) the party finally ended at 4am where i was finally able to sleep on the homie’s pull out couch.

i woke up at 8am and snuck out the crib so i wouldn’t wake anybody up. i had to get an uber to my car which was parked at my m's atwater crib so i could charge my phone that was at 15%. luckily he was awake so i walked into his spot, charged my phone, and washed my face. we (m, c and m(2)) all talked for a bit and got ready. p and his gf (z(2)) pulled up and we left to go get breakfast. sadly m wasn’t feeling good so m, c and m(2) all just stayed. p, z(2), and i ate breakfast then i drove by myself to laveta and grabbed a coffee. then drove back home in 2.5 hours. the traffic sucked but wasn’t too bad for memorial day weekend.

im too lazy to write this in my journal so why not just have it here? (i’m just proud of myself for not flaking and overthinking anything. going to these things alone can be a daunting task but i just wanted to remind myself that it’s not what you think it’ll be and everything will be ok). going with the wind eases my mind so much.

tl;dr: drove to la and i had a good time

[princesscolumbia]

Return to Recipient, Ch. 4 - A Notable Occasion

I legit didn't expect this chapter to take as long as it did. Every time I opened it to work on it, I would think, "Just a few more minutes work, and I'll be done!" Three hours later and I'm still working on it...

But it's done! And I like it! It's a little long winded in some spots and I had to create an OC for a brand new location, but other than those caveats, I think it works.

Summary:

Yuka and Sayuri are having a not-quite-a-date at the mall when they spot Akane's fiance.

Notes:

(Yes, I'm stretching the theming for the title of this chapter)

Preview below the cut:

It took some effort, but they managed to maneuver Ranma to the food court. Sayuri draped her jacket over the redhead's shoulders (not that Ranma'd complained of the mall being cold, but it seemed like a thing to do and, it must be said, did seem to help the martial artist to regain some emotional equalibrium) and Yuka insisted on using the money that hadn't been enough to pay for their yogurts to buy Ranma a hot chocolate. Enough time later that they heard the mall's kitschy 'clock tower' in the middle of the food court chime the next hour (11 o'clock, getting pretty close to lunch time) had passed before a sniffling Ranma finally was able to say, "Thanks...an' sorry."

"Sorry?! For what?" gawked Yuka.

"F'r fallin' apart on you," Ranma answered, "I...I didn't think I'd bump inta anyone from school this early, shoulda known with my luck..." he sighed and sipped his cocoa, "An' I really don't remember bein' there before today. Doc said I had a 'dissociative episode' an' the person you saw was kinda me, but, like, post-head injury. I don't remember anything for 'bout 24 hours that day."

Sayuri's earlier warning signals had returned with reinforcements, "Oh..." she held a hand up to her mouth, mortified that they'd made fun of someone who'd been severely injured, "Then I'm sorry..."

"Me too!" Yuka interrupted.

"...we just saw Akane was really upset and we kinda assumed..."

Yuka flinched expressively, "And I guess we made an ass of ourselves with that..."

"...and thought you were just making fun of your fiancée."

Yuka sighed, "We should've offered to help. At least taken some of whatever stress Akane was goin' through off her shoulders."

Ranma shrugged, "Nah, it's cool. I've been...kinda a dick to Akane, almost since we met."

This caught the girls up short. Never, not even once, had they ever seen (or even heard of) Ranma expressing humility and contrition.

Their unplanned table-mate apparently took their silence as a prompt to continue, "I was hopin' t'get in, get what I needed, and get out without anyone seein' me, but...well, I guess it's all over now. You saw me, y're gonna tell Akane, 'n I'll havta explain to her what I was doin' here, and then she'll tell our parents an'..." he started to tear up, rubbing the back of his hand against his eyes to try and stave off another crying jag, "I might as well tell you what's goin' on. Aint like the teachers don't know...well, a few of 'em, anyway."

The two girls looked at each other, then back to Ranma. "I'm sorry, Ranma-kun," said Sayuri, "I..don't understand. What's all over now?"

Ranma took a big gulp of his cooling hot chocolate and started explaining. He described the note, which he told them was still with the doctor since he was afraid of his family finding out before he was ready to disclose its contents. He told them about the ensuing conversation where Ranma found out about trans folk for the first time. The reinforcements those red flags brought whipped off their metaphorical mask and revealed they were the rainbow of Pride flags all along and and had declared Sayuri had royally fucked up. Oh...crap! she thought to herself, We've been stomping on an egg this whole time! He...she explained how she'd gone to Miss Hinako about transitioning at school and that lead to a conversation with the coach about her attendance in P.E.

"I tried t'explain that if I changed to the girl's side, 'specially with Akane in the same class, the whole thing'd come out an' it'd all be over, but the coach was...weird about it. Said she wasn't gonna have a girl be forced to play with the boys, even if she could have a boy's body. I mean, Made me feel good t'be called a girl an' have someone in my corner, but..." she shrugged.

"...but she was pushing you out when you weren't ready?" offered Yuka.

Ranma nodded, "Anyway, she said I had'ta get a sports bra. The school could provide the right uniform, 'parently 'cause both mom and pops're technically homeless and don't have jobs that means I get t'be on the school's financial support program, but they don't provide underwear. So I gotta get a bra." The girl practically shrank into Sayuri's jacket, "I don't even know what I'm doin'! I don't even know if I have enough money!"

Sayuri felt a hand squeeze hers, she looked down and saw that Yuka had reached over under the table to hold her hand. The distressed look her girlfriend was giving her showed they both felt the same way about the mess they found themselves in.

Ranma apparently missed their interchange, having never really looked up from the cup in her hands, "An' when mom asked Akane to spend some time with her, I thought this was perfect, y'know? Both've 'em distracted with their stuff an I can just go get what I need for school an' be home before they even know I'm gone...then Ma tells Akane what they'll be doing..." tears started beading Ranma's eyes again, "It hit me alla sudden...I'm her daughter. I'm the one she should be showin' how t'make recipes and put on makeup an' be all proper, but..." she shuddered, a sob threatening to escape, "...but I'll never get that 'cause I gotta be a...m-m-manly m..." The last word was lost to a low, soft keening sound as she started crying again. Not as rough and traumatic as she had in front of the store, but still heartbreaking nonetheless. She managed to pull herself together fairly quickly, though she was still just barely keeping herself from spilling over again, "An' when I got here and got t'the door an'...I didn't know what to do. I've been in stores with women's clothes, 'course, but it was always 'cause my mom was draggin' around 'cousin Ranko,' and not," she drew a shuddering breath, "An' not me."

Akane had complained quite vociferously about 'cousin Ranko,' about how she was 'so much better a girl' than Akane and how Nodoka always had only the best things to say about a fake girl and how Akane was just so angry that Ranma had to pretend to be someone else to spend time with her mother when Akane couldn't spend any��time with hers...oh, yes, they knew a lot about Ranko...except what 'Ranko' might have to say about it.

"An' o'course now she knows 'Ranko' was never real an' she wasted a lotta time on a girl that wasn't real," Sayuri heard the tightness in Ranma's voice, Oh, she's hurting... "An' now we...we never go shopping anymore, we never spend time in the kitchen together anymore...I'm just her son Ranma now, and Ma... It's a 'man's job' t'raise a son, so she just kinda hangs around, supervisin' and lettin' pops do whatever he wants. Don't matter that I don't wanna spend time with that lazy, good fer nuthin'...panda."

Abruptly Ranma blinked and looked up, like she realized she was spilling her story to two people who may as well be strangers for all she'd interacted with them in the past beyond the barest pleasantries exchanged at school. She grabbed a napkin off the dispenser on the table and blew her nose, "I guess...when you came up and said all the things you did an' it was just the same things goin' round in my own head and..." She sighed and slugged back the rest of her hot chocolate before shrugging Sayuri's jacket off. "Anyway, thanks for the hot chocolate an' listening," she held out the jacket to Sayuri, "I guess I'll see you at school...'nless the Tendos kick me out after they find out 'bout this."

They didn't even need to look at each other to confirm their next action. The two of them surged out of their seats and rounded the table, pinning the smaller girl between them in a hug. "ACK! What the...?!" sputtered Ranma, "What's goin' on?! What'd I do wrong?!"

Sayuri chuckled even as she felt a few tears trying to sneak out the corners of her eyes, "Oh, silly girl! You didn't do anything wrong, we messed up!"

Yuka sniffled a bit, "So badly!"

"What?!" squawked Ranma, "You just said what you did 'cause you didn't know 'bout the rest! It's okay, I don't blame you, really!"

Sayuri sighed and took a step back, keeping her hands on the redhead's shoulders. Yuka took her cue and stepped back just enough to give them room to move but near enough to clearly be part of the moment. "Ranma," began Sayuri, "We should have known the rest. If we weren't so caught up in Akane's...well, we can talk about that later, but if anyone at school should have known better, it'd be us."

Ranma's neck flexed back like she was avoiding a strike, "What does that mean?!"

"You're looking at," Yuka said with a bit of showman's flair, "The only two..."

"As far as we know," interrupted Sayuri.

"...lesbians in a dating relationship at Furinken High."

Ranma gave off all the comprehension of a toddler being explained quantum theory.

Just then, the clock 'tower' in the middle of the food court chimed 11:30. Sayuri made a snap decision and hoped her girlfriend would agree with her, "Come on, Ranma, I'm buying us all lunch. We need to talk, and hopefully make up for not seeing we had an uncracked egg this whole time."

Ranma squinted at her as though trying to discern some hidden truth, "What are you talking about?!"

~~~

Read the rest at AO3

[learningfromlosing]

There are some ways to tell something is progressing and getting better. My dog has been lethargic lately and wasn't eating and we started paying more attention to him, we think ultimately he was depressed bc of the move and how upset we've been. We've been paying more attention and trying to stay calm. We've been trying creative things to get him to eat and when he noticed we were paying more attention to him he started to. He ate more and, this is the kicker. I noticed he started barking again. He started being alert again. That's how I knew my dog was coming back. That's his main thing he barks and alerts both me and people to not get close. I'm terrified of people and he knows it. When he wasn't barking at the noises outside anymore I noticed right away. It used to feel so annoying and we used to try and get him to stop. But when he stopped on his own, I missed it so much. I missed him annoying me. I missed him barking. I missed him trying to get attention even tho his lil paws hurt. I love him so much and when he wasn't himself anymore I noticed. And when we spent more time on him and gave more, he started growing again. He's been so much more attentive and alert. He's getting better.

When we had to leave our apartment, we had to transport our animals. I couldn't be there, and my fiance was alone. One of the smallest kittens has escaped and we couldn't find her. She was lost for over a week in thunderstorms and we were so guilty and so ashamed. But we would not give up. We put up posts about her for the community to see it and keep an eye out. We couldn't go back right away because it was over 40 min away and we couldn't spare the money for gas and it was torture. When johnny finally had his day off and enough to go over there he did everything he could, and at the last minute she came out of the green and right up to him. She knew we were there for her. We were able to bring her back and she was so fucking happy. We named this lil thing Grudge because she was so scared and timid but she was so tough. She would let the animals know if you were too close and she held her own. But now, she's been so loving. So happy. So comfortable. She's a small thing, when we found her she was so skin and bones you could feel the tiny ones in her tail. But she had gotten meat on her bones before she had gotten lost. And when she was found it was exactly the same. She was so tiny and thin and frail. But after a while here, she's laying and sleeping with the other cats. She's always in the bed snuggling. And she's getting bigger. You can't feel the bones in her tail anymore. You can see the little belly coming over her ribs now. Her tail is up and curled constantly. She's getting better.

I haven't had my medicine, even my Lexapro, for the longest time since I was 17. For the first time in 3 years, I became angry. I became inconsolable. I became the version of myself I had been burying for the last 10 years because it deserved to be buried. It reminded me of why I need to take my health seriously. It made me put myself into a perspective I hadn't seen before. I had truly gotten so much better, and to revert back to how I used to be before all this progress, it was a nightmare. I felt like I was possessed by a demon and when it would come out all I could do was warn you when I felt it coming. I was mean, I was aggressive, I was almost violent. That's how bad it can be. But that's NOT ME. Its so far from who I truly am that when I saw how it could be if I really didn't take myself seriously anymore if I didn't get the help I needed anymore, that I wouldn't be myself anymore. And my body started working against me again. The pain was unbearable. The bed is not my bed and it isnt comfortable and I don't have all my pillows and it's been murder on my back and my shoulders. I have a very high pain tolerance and I was crying. It was something that needed to be dealt with bc it wouldn't go away on its own. My fiance would have to massage me by hand without our muscle massage gun anymore, and he had to do it for hours. It was awful I felt terrible for him and my body felt terrible. It was like I was stuck and I wanted to get better but everything I tried would just make me fall back down. But we finally had gotten to a point we could call the pharmacy that knew me and ask for an emergency refill on my medicine. I've gotten this before, with around 5/10 of my Lexapro and other non narcotics. But this time I got an entire refill. Full bottle of my Lexapro. It was like I was holding tablets of gold. And I was able to get my gabapentin my 90 day supply and it has a mother fucking refill on it. I am telling you I was crying at the pharmacy I was crying. I was thanking them so profusely. And when I started taking my gabapentin again and I could feel the positive effects holy shit. And when I took my Lexapro that day, and then took another one at like 1/2 in the morning, I fell asleep last night without struggle for the first time in a month. I slept ENOUGH for the first time in a month. I woke up with the least amount of pain Ive had in a month. And I woke up .. FUCKING HAPPY!!!! HOLYSHITHOLYSHIT!!!!.!!!!! I CAN FEEL MY FACE BEING A SMILE NATURALLY AGAIN AS ITS RESTING POSITION YESSSSSSS! I CAN FEEL MYSELF LOVING THE MORNING!!! I CAN FEEL MYSELF BEING GRATEFUL I CAN FEEL MYSELF THINKING CLEARLY I CAN FEEL MYSELF LAUGHING I CAN FEEL MYSELF GETTING BETTER!!!!

[milkywaygg]

Confidential Affairs Chapter 10

Cosma interpretation belongs to @eripops. Ik there's a lot of chapters in this but I swear things will hit the fan soon lol. Might be posted later tonight or tomorrow. We'll see.

Month 5

Weeks had passed and Euphemia’s lie had gotten unnoticed. Despite her parents constantly trying to set dates with random business partners and having to come up with crazy excuses not to go, Euphemia was at least thankful that they’d start sending her money to help with rent once more. Because of them, they were able to shop around for baby clothes and had the ability to pay for a wedding cake tasting, where Jules basically inhaled all the samples, even from flavors she knew he didn’t like. She also got a kick out of his indecisiveness; battling between chocolate and vanilla before going with two halves with each flavor, alongside buying a pack of red velvet cupcakes for Jules to pig out on. 

Meanwhile, Jules had finally reached the point where his baby bump was completely out in the open, his shirts barely able to still cover it. Throughout the days, Euphemia had also noticed Jules’ movement was slower and was now having trouble with simple things such as reaching for a cup from their cabinet, or bending over to pick something up. Occasionally, she even had to bridal carry him up and down the stairs, not that she minded. She smiled lovingly at him as she did so, imagining herself carrying him all the way down the aisle to the limo that said “Just Married” on the back. 

Despite loving the fact that he needed more attention, Euphemia couldn’t help but worry as she watched his wobble around, barely able to move like he used to, She thought about his job and how he and his unborn would potentially have to stand on his feet for 8 hours, bending and hurting his back as he crafted beautiful bouquets for people who treat him like absolute garbage and having to stress out about multiple orders from people too lazy to grow their own flowers. Deciding to take a break from her secret job searching, Euphemia turned off her computer and left the room, taking a seat on the couch to watch TV as she waited for Jules to get home from work.

“Oh? Euphemia! I’m surprised you’re home.”, Jules’ voice suddenly made an entrance through the room, alongside the sound of a closed door, “You usually don’t get home until late.”

“Meh..they let me go early. We uh…ended up having some technical difficulties with the servers. Plus..we were slow.”, Euphemia said, kissing Jules’ cheek, before noticing his tired, and somewhat sad face, “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Bad day.”

“The worst.”, Jules sighed, collapsing onto the couch next to his fiance, “A lot of the customers today were just…so rude for no reason…I-my mind has been so scrambled lately trying to take care of this baby and planning our wedding, I-I’ve been messing up on taking orders and preparing them. I’ve lost count of how many times I had apologized to them, and a few of them even complained about me to my supervisor. Calling me stupid…useless…”

“Oh hell no…”

“That’s not even the worst of it!”, Jules sighed, wiping small tears off his cheeks, “She came back.”

“She? What are you-oh…you mean that bitch back from when I visited you at work?”

“Yes..I was barely able to block her wand spells. I think if I had just been a little bit bigger, then she’d probably have gotten me.”

Euphemia shook as she listened to Jules vent, her magical cores boiling and her blood fuming. If only she knew where she lived. Euphemia wanted no more than to turn Karen into a toad and keep her like that for the rest of her life. She knew her magic was powerful enough. Unlike most fairies, her transforming spells were permanent to her victims, regardless if their fagiggly gland was perfect or not. She remembers the time she had to turn one of her bullies into a fly in high school, not for pounding her or shoving her in the locker, but for smacking Jules’ behind in a flirty way. If only she could have been there for him now..

“Well..maybe it’s time.”, Euphemia started, “I’ve been thinking, you’re on your 5th month now, and..I think it’s time you talked to your boss about taking paternity leave, or quitting.”

“Quit my job? Why?”

“I can’t help but think about our baby, and lately, you just look like you’ve been struggling a lot.”

“Not more than I had normally been.”

“Well sweetie..it’s not just that.”, Euphemia started, massaging Jules’ somewhat tense shoulders, “I’ve been thinking about after the baby is born, and I just can’t help but wonder if you would want to become a house husband. You know, so you can take care of the baby while I’m working.”

“That wouldn’t be a bad idea, but you know, I’ve worked there for 5 years now, and I absolutely love doing it. It would hurt having to leave.”

“You have your flowers in your garden to still tend to. Plus, would you rather spend a bunch of money having a stranger taking care of your little baby rather than doing it yourself for free?”

“I guess when you put it that way..”, Jules thought.

“And it really wouldn’t make sense for me to quit because, no offense sweetheart, but I do bring in more cash than you.”

“Well..”, Jules pondered for a moment. He had loved tending to his flowers and watching fairies fall in love over red roses every day since he had started his job. He loved watching women present the roses to their husband and getting some rather passionate kisses in return. He event had the pleasure of watching a proposal right in front of the counter; his co-workers yelping and cheering for the eloped couple. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved working at the flower shop and no amount of Karens or rude customers could level out the love flowing through the air.

But the more Euphemia tried to explain to him, the more he couldn’t help but agree with her. Of course, leaving the flower shop would hurt, but his parents had often taught him that no family could be healthy or strong without a few sacrifices here and there, and knowing how much Euphemia had sacrificed since he had told her about his pregnancy, Jules felt as if it was his time to return the favor.

“Well…if this it what you want.”, Jules said, smiling softly but sadly as Euphemia returned the look, stroking his seaweed colored hair.

“Trust me. I only want what’s best for you and our little one. Just let me handle everything on the finance end from now on. Until this wedding and baby comes, I want you to take it easy for a little while. Just do whatever household chores you can without hurting yourself and you’ll be doing more than your share.”

“Well..I…ok but, you know I can still help out, right? I mean,I’m not THAT big yet.”

“Sweetheart, just do this for me. Please?” Euphemia begged as she squeezed Jules’ hand, before earning a nod, kissing his lips passionately before snuggling up against him, “You know I love you right?”

“Of course. I love you too, hunny bunny.”

[jupitermelichios]

So I’ve been playing a lot of skyrim lately, because it’s video game comfort food, and I decided it was time for my Redguard Dovahkiin to settle down. (Actually I specifically just wanted to be able to adopt some of the random orphans you meet because I felt guilty about them, but you need to be married before you can do that so that there’s someone at home to take care of the kids while you’re off galivanting).

So I travelled around a bit, chatting up likely looking npcs until I found one I both liked and didn’t feel guilty about marrying (I feel bad if I marry one of the warrior adventurer types, making them be a stay at home mum) and settled on an obnoxiously cheerful argonian called Shavee because her life was frankly shit, and I thought she’d probably be good with kids.

So off I go to Riften to the Temple of Mara to arrange the wedding. I book it in for the next day, realise I didn’t bring anything nice to wear, and spend the night before the wedding robbing every house in the city in the search for something to wear. Eventually decide everyone in Riften has terrible fashion sense and break down everything I stole into raw materials and use them to craft myself an outfit and some jewellery that i’m pretty happy with. I even carefully pick out my fanciest looking sword to wear.

(don’t know why I bothered, frankly, shavee turned up wearing a shirt covered in suspicious stains and weilding a pickaxe, it’s like she doesn’t even care about this marriage)

(also for comedy purposes, bear in mind I play with survival mods that mean my character needs to eat and sleep to live, and I literally spent the entire ingame night on this and forgot to eat and drink anything either and then just downed four bowls of wolf stew right before entering the temple so I didn’t starve during the ceremony. also I discovered during the wedding that I am dying of rockjoint, which I contracted from sleeping in a pile of hay on the floor of a skeever infested cave, so even being six foot tall and jacked can’t make up for the fact that I am exhausted, running a fever, and probably covered in wolf which I spilled because my joints are slowly atrophying, and even the fanciest clothes in the world aren’t going to cover that up)

so I enter the temple, and my finance is there, and Lydia my housecarl, and some random NPCs the game thinks are my friends because I did fetch quests for them

One of the random NPCs is Lisbet. Atfter I did her fetch quest, I then did another quest in which I discovered Lisbet is secretly a cannibal and part of a demonic cult that worships the daedric prince of decay by kidnapping priests, sacrificing them, and then eating their corpses. Raw. I think the raw meat is the sticking point for me here honestly.

I ultimately decided not to sacrifice the random priest to a daedric prince in exchange for one magic ring and all the raw human I could eat, because frankly, that doesn’t sound like much of a deal to me. I was expecting there to be some kind of dialogue choice where I could nope out at the last minute, but it turns out there isn’t one, so after they drugged the priest and tied him to the altar, I just got out my sword and started swinging.

I killed most of the cult (including the town butcher, because I had brought meat from him before and was extremely pissed off that he might have been secretly feeding me humans) but a couple of them got away, which I figured was fine because they weren’t trying to kill me.

Except it turns out, if any of them escape, then every time you see them in the future there’s a random chance that they’ll fly into a violent rage and try and murder you.

Lisbet is at my wedding. Lisbet decides that clearly me marrying this random argonian woman with two lines of dialogue is the happiest day of my life, and she cannot allow me that happiness, when I’ve taken so much from her.

So she tries to kill me. Only she can’t, because I’m stuck in a pre-rendered wedding animation, and also she’s sitting next to Lydia, my faithful retainer and owner of a really big axe.

It also turns out that Lisbet is essential, meaning she can be knocked unconcious but not actually killed because she’s needed for some quest or other. And the minute she wakes up from unconciousness, she tries to kill me again, so Lydia knocks her unconcious again, and I’m stuck, I can’t move, because I’m supposed to be in the wedding animation.

Except Shavee has, not unreasonably, see all this and decided that she doesn’t like me enough to risk getting murdered, and has done a runner, leaving me at the altar, but more importantly, leaving me trapped in a broken pre-rendered animation, so all I can do is stand there at the altar, staring at the space where my fiance was supposed to be, listening to the sounds of Lydia trying and failing to beat a cannibal to death behind me.

Okay, I think, clearly this wedding isn’t going to happen, I’m going to go for the registry office option and complete the wedding using the dev commands. I do this. The priest gives me a wedding ring, and I can finally move again. I chase after Shavee, who has an impressive turn of speed on her, and eventually catch up right by the city gates. I try to talk to her.

Apparently using the console has completed the wedding for me, but not for her, because she still only has the same 2 lines of dialogue she usually has.

Clearly this is working, I can’t leave my kids with someone who can only say 2 things and doesn’t even know she’s their mum, that’s irresponsible.

I try loading from inside the temple. I get the same problem.

Eventually I figure out that I need to use the dev controls to disable Lisbet’s entire existence in the universe.

Shavee and me get married. As the priest reads the vows, I stare at Shavee and wonder why she couldn’t even be bothered to put on a clean shirt. I wonder what kind of mother she’ll be.

Once the ceremony is over, and I’m happily married to the dirty green lizard of my dreams, and we’ve agreed that until I can make her recognise my extremely nice modded house exists I will share her single bed in the unheated flophouse in Windhelm she calls home, I re-enable Lisbet, because I’m worried I’ll forget if I leave it too long.

Fun fact about skyrim, it loads in quite a lot of npcs and objects by dropping them from the sky. I have no idea why this is the case, but it’s objectively the funniest way to load in objects.

I re-enable Lisbet. She falls from the sky, clips through the roof of the temple, and lands in the pew beside Lydia, stands up, draws a knife, and is immedately beaten unconcious.

I no longer care, because Shavee now has all the exciting new spouse-only romantic dialogue options like “Could you cook something for me” and “have you made any money lately”, and I know she’ll be a great mother.

I limp to the door of the temple, while around me the guests not involved in the Lydia-Lisbet murder cycle scream and duck for cover.

I open the door to the temple, immediately collapse and ragdoll down the steps, which is how I discover I am dying of rockjoint.

I limp to the orphanage down the street, adopt two kids, and then finally remember that I’m carrying garlic bread, which as we all know, cures all known illnesses.

When I emerge back into the street, full of the joys of motherhood and garlic bread, I find the town in disaray. Lydia is chasing Lisbet through the streets with an axe and a dragon is circling overhead, burning npcs to death. People are running for shelter, screaming, while the guards try to take down an entire dragon using only the worst bows and arrows in the game.

I decide that as a parent, I have to think of my own safety first and leave them to it.

I head out of the city, intent on returning home and figuring out why Shavee refuses to move in with me. A man hanging around the stables challenges me to a boxing match. For want of anything better to do, I agree.

Halfway through the fight he dodges at the wrong moment and I punch one of his horses in the head.

Two guards attack me while I desperately try to surrender. My kids will miss me, but I’m prepared to go to jail for my horse crimes, I’m an honest citizen. Also my horse crimes seem somewhat less important than the dragon.

The guards refuse to accept my surrender. I am stabbed to death. As I collapse in front of the indifferent horse, Lisbet exits the city, followed by Lydia. The last thing I see before I die is Lydia swinging her axe at Lisbet’s face.

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

Solo Roadtrip Comfort

Summary - Part 12 in the Comfort series

Pairing - Dean Winchester x Reader, Reader x Sam (platonic), Reader x Bobby (father-figure)

Warnings - mentions of pregnancy, 

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

A/N - G’day guys, I just wanna start by thanking you for all the likes, reblogs and follows since my last post, I really appreciate it. I hope you like this one too. And remember my inbox is always open for requests or even if you just wanna chat. Until next week, enjoy! 

You and Dean stay with Bobby for a few days before Sam catches a new lead. Dean, not wanting you to travel alone again insisted you drive back to the bunker together before he and Sam headed off again. While you didn’t really want to return to being alone, you finally agreed the bunker was home and you were safest there. You all knew it wasn’t going to be a milk run, but Dean promised to be back in time for your ultrasound appointment. However, nothing had gone to plan since they left. On the third day in pursuit of the high-level demon they’d called Bobby in for assistance. You were spending every waking hour researching and looking for demonic omens. With less than 48 hours to your appointment and no significant progress, you decide to call Dean to encourage him just to come home and regroup. 

“Hey, sweetheart, everything okay?”

“Yeah, just miss you.”

“I miss you too. I really thought we would’ve caught the son of a bitch by now.”

“I know...”

“24 more hours, okay, sweetheart? I’ll come back for the appointment, demon or no demon. I made a promise and I intend to keep it.”

“I called up to convince you, but truly, Dean, it’s just an ultrasound. I’ll get the pictures and there’ll be others. We’ll probably barely be able to see anything anyway. You should keep on this demon. It could be the key to creating a safer world for our peanut.”

“We’re chasing our tails, baby. We’re no closer to finding it than we were a week ago. I just want to hold you in my arms again.”

“I want nothing more than to be in your arms, but…”

“I know. I’ll give it 24 more hours. If we catch a lead we’ll chase it, otherwise I’m coming home to you. Deal?”

“Deal. I’ll let you know if I find anything.”

“You better not be overexerting yourself with research. Promise me you’ve been sleeping and eating and managing your stress.”

“I promise. Three full meals a day with snacks and I’m in our cold, lonely bed with a book or a movie by midnight, up every day well after dawn.”

“That’s my girl. I’ll be back to warm up that bed and give you some company soon enough.”

“I love you. Get back to work, I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Alright, sweetheart. I’ll call you tonight.”

You hang up and go to the kitchen to make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before going back to research, but you find the peanut butter jar empty – damn Dean putting empty jars in the cupboard. The thought of your fiance makes you smile for a second. But your craving takes over. You go to your room and change out of Dean’s T-shirt into one of your own with ripped jeans and finish your outfit with one of his flannels before slipping on your boots and heading for the garage. You take the keys for the bright red car off the hook and get in, driving to the store. Once you get there you grab a new jar of peanut butter and a range of your other favourite snacks including a fresh apple pie. You take your things to the counter but something feels off. 

You feel uncomfortable with how the cashier is looking at you. You could’ve sworn his eyes were pitch black, but when you walk over with your groceries and get a closer look they’re bright blue. You try to push the anxiety down, but you can’t ignore your years of hunting experience and the sinking feeling in your stomach. That’s when you realise you had left the bunker completely unarmed. So instead you try to be inconspicuous and just pay for your groceries and leave. You keep looking back over your shoulder with each step you take towards your extremely conspicuous car. You quickly get in and lock the doors behind you and zoom off back towards the bunker. Once you’re out on the straight road you call Dean, but after two rings you hang up and call Sam instead. 

“Hey, Y/N. What’s up?”

“You with Dean?”

“I’m at the Library. Dean’s off with Bobby chatting to the locals.”

“Oh ok. Umm…good.”

“What’s going on? You know he doesn’t like it when you come to me instead of him. Didn’t you just almost break up over this a couple of weeks ago?”

“You know what he’s like…he stresses so much.”

“You know why though.”

“I know just…fine! I call him.”

Just as you’re about to say your goodbyes your phone lights up with an incoming call. “Speak of the devil…he’s calling. Thanks, Sam. I’ll see you whenever you guys get back. Be safe and good luck!”

You hang up and answer Dean’s call. 

“Hey, sweetheart, something wrong? Are you okay? The baby?”

“We’re both fine. Give me a sec,” you put the phone down while you drive into the garage, but stop halfway when something occurs to you, “shit!”

“Y/N? Sweetheart? What’s going on?”

You hear Dean’s worried calls and pick your phone back up. “Something’s not right, Dean.”

“With the baby? Are you bleeding? Does it hurt? I know I hate hospitals-”

“I’m fine. The baby’s fine. I already told you.”

“Then what’s not right? What’s going on?”

“I gotta get out of here. I think someone’s in the bunker.”

“Son of a bitch! Dammit! I’ll send Sam back on the plane and I’ll drive. Dammit! I’ll get on a plane…”

You quickly back out of the garage and speed off down the road. You don’t know where to go, but you can’t risk being caught in the bunker with a demon. You try to take deep breaths to manage your stress, completely zoning out your frantic fiance on the phone. After a few minutes, you spot a clearing in the trees, drive off the road, and park.

“Y/N? Talk to me? Are you there? Are you okay?”

“Dean. I think the demon you’re looking for is here in Kansas.”

“I’m getting in the car now. I’m gonna pick up Sam and Bobby and we’re gonna check it out. I want you to get out of there and drive to Bobby’s and lock yourself in the panic room. Don’t stop unless you absolutely have to. And call me whenever you do.”

“Dean…It’s all my fault,” you try to take a deep breath but end up crying instead. The stress is too much for you to handle alone, along with your raging hormones. “I went out. I didn’t take my gun or my knife. I just wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but you ate all the peanut butter! I just wanted a sandwich…And I-I forgot to shut the garage door. It’s my fault. They found me. The cashier-”

“Hey, hey, hey! Y/N! Sweetheart! Slow down! Take a deep breath with me,” Dean takes an exaggerated breath in and out so you can hear him. He does this a few times until he can hear you’ve settled down a little. “Okay, now start at the beginning. Tell me everything.”

You tell him everything that’s happened since you last spoke, including your call to Sam and hunch about the cashier. 

“Okay, we’re gonna stick to the same plan okay? You keep driving to Bobby’s, I can stay on the line if you want. If you need to stop to fill up, pee or get snacks you call me, Sam or Bobby – you don’t unlock or get out of the car without one of us on the line. As soon as I meet up with them we’re all gonna head back. Sam and I will go to Kansas and search the bunker and check the town for demons, Bobby will go home to be with you. We’ll go there and pick you up and bring you home as soon as we know it’s safe.”

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

“For what?”

“For scaring you, for screwing up, for not being more careful…”

“Everything’s gonna be okay. It’s not your fault. Granted it’s a little early for baby-brain to be setting in yet, but then again I’ve never been around many pregnant women, so what would I know?”

“I can’t go to Sioux Falls, what about the appointment?”

“You call and reschedule, or I can. It can be a few days late. It’s more important you’re safe. I just pulled up in front of the library, I’m gonna go get Sam and fill him in, you should start driving. Do you want to stay on the line?”

You take a deep breath. “No, I’m a badass hunter, I can do this!”

“Damn right you are! You got this. By the way, check the glove box.”

You do as you’re told and find a silver knife and gun. “But how?”

“Before we left Bobby’s I put a spare set in there. It’s your car whenever you want it, you know that, and I knew I couldn’t stop you from leaving the bunker when I’m not there. But what I could do was make sure you never left unarmed.”

“I love you, baby.”

“Be safe. You got this. And call whenever you stop, we’ll be tracking you too.”

You hang up and go to close the glove box but something catches your eye: a mix tape. You pull it out, you can’t help but smile as you read the writing: A mixtape for the love of my life. You put it in to play and start the car. Classic rock fills the car as you peel off back towards the road. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

A few hours pass before the need to pee is so unbearable you have to stop. You take the next exit and call Sam before pulling up at the Gas-N-Sip. He answers quickly.

“Hey Y/N, you’re on speaker with Dean too.”

“Hey, sweetheart! First stop? Where are you?”

“I thought you two were tracking me,” you say as you get out and fuel up the car. 

“We are, but I’m driving.”

“Columbus, Nebraska. I’m fuelling up and then I really need to pee. Luckily I already had snacks, although I still want a PB&J!”

“You can make one as soon as you get to Bobby’s,” Dean says.

“Hey, we know that’s not a short drive, especially by yourself. I know you’re not supposed to be drinking coffee or energy drinks at the moment, and I know Dean’s ready to punch me for even suggesting this, but you might need to consider it. It’s not safe to sleep on the side of the road alone, nor can we guarantee any motels.”

“Thanks for the advice, Sam, but I’d rather risk it at a motel than risk the baby’s health by binging on caffeine.”

“Only you know what’s best for you-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I know really gotta pee!” You rush to the women’s bathroom keeping them on the line but telling them to shut up. You check the stalls finding them all empty before going into the first one and locking it. You listen carefully for anyone else coming and going but it’s quiet. So you do your business and get out as quickly as possible. After paying for the fuel you get back in the car and drive off. 

“I’m back on the road now. I’ll call you next time I stop.”

“Be safe!” they both say in unison.

“I love when you talk at the same time. You two be safe too! Oh, and I found the mixtape, love of my life,” you say before hanging up.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Tag list: (Leave a like or comment on this post or let me know below if you want to be added to the tag list for this series)

@bitchwitch1981, @muhahaha303, @justrealizedimmascifygurl, @mcdowell-123, @leigh70, @marvelsmarauder, @losa12308, @tapedeck-hearts, @luvjaida, @peachtxa, @ambearsstuff, @shadow-of-a-cloud, @slut-for-buck,

[fandom-imagines-stories]

There With You

Peeta Mellark x Reader

Words: 2532

Summary: A panic attack during the Victor’s tour leaves the reader gasping for breath backstage. Her fiance is able to calm her down, but now she’s afraid that what’s real and what’s pretend will blur together.

Notes: This is another kind of comfort fic based on my own experience, so I hope someone out there can connect with it. I love reading things to help calm myself down, so I hope that my comfort imagines can do that for somebody else. Plus Peeta is one of my comfort characters, so it works out. (Also, the reader has taken Katniss’ place in this scenario. Still love Katniss, but this fit the story)

Warnings: Panic attack, anxiety, the like (This is not a depiction of every kind of panic attack. This is just what I have experienced in the past)

-

None of this was supposed to happen. There wasn’t supposed to be two of you. There weren't supposed to be riots. The romance wasn’t supposed to be real.

Then why was he the only one keeping you from sprinting off that stage?

Peeta’s fingers were intertwined with yours as he spoke to the crowd, keeping you grounded. You tried to focus on the sound of his voice instead of the hundreds of eyes staring up at you. You looked up at the screens and saw her looking back at you. Her. The first person you’d ever killed and you couldn’t even bring yourself to think of her name.

Your breathing hitched and you could feel the squeezing, twisting grip around your throat. No no no not now. Not in front of the entire crowd. What would President Snow do to you if you broke down in front of an entire district? What would he do to Peeta?

“Thank you.” Peeta finished up his speech and a few people in the crowd reluctantly applauded. His eyes locked on your face, seeing a single tear fall down your cheek and he quickly led you off the stage.

He knew that District 9 would be the hardest for you. He still remembered the knife and the blood and the gore. You had killed her to save him. And now you had to live with that for the rest of your life.

The doors closed behind you and you immediately fell back against them, clutching your chest with your free hand. You ripped open the buttons on your high-necked dress, foolishly thinking that it would make it easier to breathe. The invisible hand had closed around your throat, knees crushing down your chest. When you closed your eyes, Clove was on top of you, choking the life out of you slowly, whispering all of the ways she was going to torment Peeta once you were gone.

“Let’s get her out of here.” Haymitch said, his expression a mix of worry and unease. He knew the image of a weak Victor would mean more problems that you weren’t ready to deal with. He remembered what it was like to be under the eye of the Capitol.

“I can’t… I can’t do this. Peeta, I can’t keep-” You gasped in between shaky breaths. Your vision was blurred at the sides and you were gripping the door to keep from collapsing. “I-I-”

“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to talk now.” Peeta said, putting a hand on your cheek. “Can you walk to the train?” You nodded, but couldn’t seem to bring your hands away from the door. Peeta looked back at Haymitch and Effie for a moment before turning back to you. “I’m going to carry you, okay?” You must have nodded because he kissed your cheek before scooping you up in his arms.

Your hands released the door and instead latched onto the lapel of his jacket. Every part of you was shaking and the weight on your chest was only getting heavier.

“P-Peeta.” You cried, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes.

“I’ve got you. We’re almost there.” He tried to hide the crack in his voice, trying to be the strong one for you, but seeing you like this split his heart in half. Haymitch and Effie huddled around you, trying to block the two of you from any prying eyes or cameras.

You didn’t notice when they finally got you onto the train. In your head, you were still on that stage, staring out at the little brothers of the girl you murdered. You thought for sure you were suffocating. Every breath was becoming harder and more painful than the last and the blackness at the edge of your vision was growing.

Peeta sat down, holding you in his lap and gently stroking his fingers through your hair.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe. You aren’t in the arena. You’re here with me.” He buried his face in your neck, gently pressing a kiss to the place between your shoulder and your spine. “You’re with me.”

“I’ll never leave that arena.” You whispered, your voice so quiet you weren’t sure if he even heard you.

This was far from the first attack you’d had since winning the games, but it was certainly the worst.

Haymitch and Effie just watched you with sympathetic eyes for a moment before leaving the two of you alone. Peeta held you tight until your breathing started to return to a steady pace. While your vision cleared, your body couldn't stop shaking and you couldn’t seem to pry your hands away from his jacket.

“I’m sorry.” You sniffed, trying to wipe panicked tears away on your sleeve.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn’t have made you go out there with me. I knew what it was going to be like for you and I should have-”

“They wouldn’t have let you go out there alone.” You shook your head. “There’s no hiding from them, Peeta.” You repeated your words like an echo, over and over again. “I’ll never leave that arena.”

“Then I’m right there with you.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead and stood up, keeping you pressed against his chest. “Come on, we should try and get some sleep before we reach the next District.”

He carried you to your compartment and tucked you under the covers. He crawled up beside you without you having to ask. It had become an unsaid thing between the two of you. You kept the nightmares away as best as you could and when one of you woke up afraid, you weren’t alone.

-

Peeta had proposed for the cameras the day you left for the Victor’s tour, but it was all for show. The Capitol ate it up. When you really said yes, it was a week prior, just the two of you in the calming quiet in a meadow outside of the fence. It meant more that way.

Of course, Effie had picked out an extravagant ring for you to wear on stage and everything. It was gaudy and heavy and enough jewels to feed three districts for a month. But like the faked proposal, it wasn’t what was real.

You twisted the small bronze band around your finger, examining it in the faint light coming through the train windows. You had been awake for about an hour now, but Peeta’s peaceful sleep kept you from stirring. You rested in the warmth of his embrace and listened carefully to the slow, comforting sound of his heart beat.

You wanted to stay in this moment forever.

“Rise and shine you two.” Effie burst through the door and Peeta instantly went rigid beneath you, jolting up and pushing you behind him. You couldn’t see his face, but his expression frightened Effie. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think, I-”

“No, Effie, it’s okay. Really.” He said apologetically, his expression softening. “We’ll be out for breakfast in a second.”

“Alright. Don’t be long. I know they want to do a feature on engaged life. A little romance might be just what you two need.” She gave you both a small smile before walking out, the door sliding shut behind her. Peeta laid back on his elbows, blowing out a low sigh.

“I didn’t mean to scare her. I just heard the door open and all I could think was that someone was here to take you away.” He pulled you back down to him and gently pressed his lips to yours. Truthfully, he’d been in the middle of a nightmare when he heard Effie enter. He thought that the images in his head were becoming real.

“She’ll be okay.” You concluded, drawing circles on his chest . “Effie is tougher than she seems. And she knows what we’ve been through.” Despite her bright and sometimes obnoxiously optimistic attitude, you knew that Effie wasn’t a mindless pawn from the Capitol. She saw what the games did to you. She saw the children behind the victors.

Breakfast was mostly had in a settled quiet. While neither of you said anything, Haymitch glanced over at you and you nodded to let him know that you were okay. It was that silent understanding that was the foundation of your relationship with your former mentor.

“They’re doing an update interview to see how the Capitol’s darling lovebirds have been enjoying their tour.” Haymitch said gruffly. “Which means lots of blushing and doe-eyes from you two.”

“That won’t be hard.” Peeta noted, looking over at you. He meant it sweetly, but something about it sent a shiver of dread down your spine. You ignored it, giving him a small smile.

“It’s comforting to know we won’t need to convince anybody of the whole hopeless romantic thing.” Haymitch made a face. “You two do a wonderful job of making me nauseous all on your own.” Effie smacked him with her rolled up napkin.

“I think it’s wonderful.” She mused dreamily. “How something like that could bring you together.”

You stiffened, keeping your eyes on your plate, pushing your eggs around mindlessly with your fork. Sometimes you forgot that this was still all a TV show for people to gawk at. You would be the star crossed lovers from District 12 for the rest of your lives. No amount of real emotion you felt for Peeta was going to erase that.

The other three seemed to notice your shift and finished their meal in silence. Haymitch excused himself to the dining car for likely the rest of the day and Effie left to work on the speeches you’d have to read in front of District 8. You hadn’t eaten a bite, opting to sip slowly at your coffee instead.

“Just a few more days and we’ll get to go home.” Peeta said, noticing your empty stare and untouched meal. You just nodded, not really hearing him.

-

“So tell us, Peeta, when did you know that you wanted to propose?” Caesar grinned into the camera.

“Honestly, I knew the moment we stepped out of the arena that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.” Peeta gave your hand a squeeze and looked at you with complete and utter adoration. Caesar gasped in awe, eating up the fluffy romance that Peeta was perfect at portraying.

Is that all this is? The thought penetrated your mind before you could stop it. A performance? Is everything he says for the sake of the camera?

“I’m not sure if I’ll ever forgive you for not including me in the moment, Peeta.” Caesar pouted. “But it was just so sweet I can’t stay mad at you!” The two laughed and you forced a loving smile. “Really, proposing in front of the bakery just before you left for the tour- why, it’s probably the most romantic thing I have ever seen.”

“I’m glad it came off that way, because I was a nervous wreck!” Peeta exclaimed and they laughed again. You had to admire his acting ability. Maybe that’s what scared you so much.

He’s just performing. Is he performing with you?

“I think we all want to know,” Caesar beamed, turning his attention to you, “what was going through your head, Y/N? When Peeta got down on one knee?”

You pushed any doubt from your head and just focused on everything you knew was real. “Honestly, Caesar, I can’t think of a happier moment in my life. I never knew what I was missing until we found each other.”

“Don’t these two just make you believe in love, Claudius?” He gushed to his costar. “We’ll let the two of you get back to your tour, but I can’t say how excited we are to have you all to ourselves here in the Capitol.”

“We can’t wait.” Peeta grinned. You both smiled broadly, waiting for the little red recording light to turn off. As soon as the cameras were gone, Peeta lifted your hand up to his lips. “That went well.” He muttered against the skin of your palm.

“Yeah. I think they definitely believe that we’re the perfect couple.” You hadn’t meant to say it so bitterly, but as soon as the words left your mouth, Peeta’s expression changed.

“What’s wrong?” His eyes were different, the charisma that was there with Caesar was gone. His worry seemed to stem from something real, but you just couldn’t convince yourself that it was.

“Nothing.” None of this is real. It’s all just the games. What if you’re still in the arena? What if this is all in your head? You broke away from him, trying to hide the panic growing and growing inside you until it was all you could feel. You could hear him saying your name, but it sounded garbled and far away, like he was whispering in the rain.

What seized you now was unlike you’d ever felt before. Not only was it the dark panic that blurred your vision and tightened your throat until you couldn’t breathe- it was a complete disconnect from reality. It was like you were trapped inside one of their screens and you were banging on the glass, trying to get out.

-

You didn’t realize you had fainted until you woke up in Peeta’s arms. His was sitting up, cradling you in his lap like he had before, only now you were in your room and you had a blanket draped around your shoulders. You jerked away, your mind still terrified that even this wasn’t real.

“Woah, hey it’s okay. I’m right here.”

“This isn’t real. None of this is real.” You whispered in a panic, still trying to push away from him. This was the Capitol. They were in your head. “You aren’t real.” As hard as you shoved against him, his strong arms were locked around you. He pressed a kiss to your temple, holding you closer.

“I’m right here. I’m real. Just breathe. Come on, stay with me.” While his voice was soothing, your vision was still blurred with hot tears.

“We can never escape this. Every second of our lives belongs to them. Nothing is real. It’s all theirs.”

Peeta pulled away, taking your hand in his. He slid the bronze ring off your finger and held it up.

“This is ours. It’s not Snow’s, it’s not the Capitol’s, it’s ours. It’s real and it’s ours.” He put the ring back on and moved your hand to his chest. You could feel his heart beating beneath your fingertips. “I’m real,” He looked at you with a gentle and yet intense love, “and I am completely yours.”

You wiped away your tears and laid a hand on his cheek. “Peeta-”

“And no matter the nightmare, no matter the fear, or when your mind takes you back to the games, just remember I will always be there with you.”

He pulled you back to him and the two of you remained- away from the cameras and away from the Capitol. At least for now, you weren’t victors. You were a boy and a girl who had saved each other.

[hawkeykirsah]

Here is my third (and probably final) fill for @codywankissbingo​2022 and it also my only bingo. It’s set in my Chase Your Heart ‘verse because my storm chaser boys still needed their wedding night.

Kiss fills for this fic are: hungry kiss, kiss on the neck, kiss on the *ahem*, good night kiss, good morning kiss, free space (drunken kiss), french kiss, sweet kiss, and kiss anywhere but on the lips.

As it is VERY SPICY you can find it completely under the cut and on AO3.

Words: ~1620

They left behind the noise of the party, laughter and loud teasing following them when they said they were going to call it a night. By the time they reached their room they were laughing breathlessly between increasingly hungry kisses. They stumbled through the door, neither quite sober, hands tugging at belts and pulling at shirts, eager to feel naked skin. Obi-Wan suppressed a groan when Cody’s lips brushed his neck, tilting his head to the side just a little.

“God, babe,” Cody whispered hoarsely against his skin, nipping lightly, his teeth scraping along the tendons on his neck, “we’re married.” There was a hint of awe in his voice, like he still couldn’t believe that Obi-Wan had accepted. And, if he was honest, sometimes he couldn’t, even after years of being in a relationship.

“Mmm,” Obi-Wan agreed, “we are.”

Cody pulled away far enough to meet Obi-Wan’s gaze, hands resting on a button low on Obi-Wan’s dress shirt, “You know what that means?”

“What?” Obi-Wan asked, eyebrow cocked, a light smile teasing his features.

“I get to fuck my husband now,” Cody replied, earnestly, and Obi-Wan laughed, delighted. Cody grinned at him and nuzzled up below his chin, pushing him slowly backwards toward the bedroom and his shirt off his shoulders once the last button was open. “Not my boyfriend. Not my fiance. My husband.”

It was, perhaps, a bit embarrassing how much pride he felt at being able to say that but the hitched sound that escaped Obi-Wan’s throat burned any embarrassment away, leaving only a swell of pride and joy lodged behind his sternum. He felt both floaty in his bones and strung taut at the same time, aware that it was likely a culmination of things—the excitement of the whole day, the alcohol, and—everything, really.

Obi-Wan brought his hands up to cup his face, catching his mouth in another kiss, and for a moment Cody relaxed against him, reveling in the feel of hands slowly sliding over his pecs and Obi-Wan’s tongue sliding over his lips and tongue, hot and velvety smooth and tasting of whiskey. Cody pulled away, peppering kisses along the line of Obi-Wan’s jaw and down his throat and on his collarbone. He slowly made his way down his body, dragging the tip of his tongue down his chest and pausing his journey downwards to graze his teeth over Obi-Wan’s nipple. He nipped and sucked at it lightly before soothing over it with his tongue, and dropped to his knees. 

Cody placed another kiss between his navel and the tattoo curling over his hip, undoing Obi-Wan’s belt and fly with shaky hands. He brushed gently over the erection straining against Obi-Wan’s underwear. Above him, Obi-Wan let out a gasp, his fingers curling lightly into Cody’s hair. He hooked his fingers over the hem and dragged trousers and underwear slowly down, eyes trained on Obi-Wan’s erection, long and hard. Want thrummed low in his gut and he licked his lips, pushing forward to run his tongue from base to tip, pressing a kiss just below the head.

“Cody,” Obi-Wan groaned, breath coming in shallow pants as he swallowed him down, the grip in his hair tightening. Cody bobbed his head slowly along his length, the salty taste of precome spreading on his tongue. Obi-Wan tugged at his curls, hard, panting raggedly, “Cody, babe…your cock, I want to come on your cock.”

The words sent a jolt down his spine straight to his dick. It throbbed in the confines of his slacks and he let Obi-Wan’s cock slide slowly from his mouth. “Fuck,” he rasped, kissing the soft skin at the junction of his groin and surging to his feet, pressing his lips against Obi-Wan’s in a searing kiss. He put a hand on Obi-Wan’s sternum and pushed him down on the bed, panting  “You want me to fuck you?” against his lips.

“God, yes” came the groaned reply, “I’ve been wanting your cock in me all day. Your ass is to die for in those slacks.”

Cody swore again and stepped back, fumbling with his belt as he hurried to get off his pants while Obi-Wan did the same. “Stay on your back,” Cody told him, settling between Obi-Wan’s thighs and pushing them further apart with his hands. He swallowed, letting his gaze drift over Obi-Wan’s—his husband’s, he still couldn’t quite fathom it—body, flushed with arousal, and was grateful they had had the foresight to put everything they might need on the bed earlier. He slid his hands along Obi-Wan’s strong thighs and reached for the lube.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good,” he said, squirting a generous amount of lube onto Obi-Wan’s stomach, watching the muscles twitch as he dragged two fingers through it. “You look so hot all spread out like this, babe,” he continued, rambling as he pressed the first finger gently into Obi-Wan. “So fucking hot. I’m going to fuck you until you come. Fuck you and fill you up so good, babe.”

Obi-Wan groaned his name, sounding wrecked already, and pushed down on his finger looking for more friction. Cody smirked, watching Obi’s hands grip at the sheets, and slowly worked in a second finger, crooking them just so.

“Babe, I’m fucking ready,” Obi-Wan moaned, writhing under his ministrations. “Cody, please.” 

“Almost there,” he whispered hoarsely, pressing a kiss to his knee and scissoring his fingers a little before removing them. It should be enough. Barely. He gathered more lube on his fingers and reached for his cock, gripping it tightly for a moment with a low groan before slicking it up.

“You sure?” Cody asked, pressing the head of his cock gently against Obi-Wan’s hole. He knew Obi-Wan liked the sting but he always made a point of asking.

Obi-Wan lifted his head off the mattress and gasped, “God, Cody, yes. Just fuck me already.”

Cody huffed a laugh and wet his lips, slowly pushing into the ring of muscle, gaze shifting between Obi-Wan tilting his head back, eyelids fluttering, and his cock slowly disappearing in Obi-Wan’s body until his hips were pressed flush against him. “You feel so good around me, babe,” he rasped, giving a slow, experimental roll of his hips, grinding deep into Obi-Wan. Too good, maybe; he wasn’t sure how long he was going to last.

He shifted slightly, pushing Obi-Wan’s legs further up and was rewarded with a stuttering inhale on his next slow thrust, brushing against Obi-Wan’s prostate. Sweat rolled down his back as he kept a steady pace, aiming to brush the same spot with each pass, wanting to make this good, to give Obi-Wan what he asked for.

Obi-Wan curled his fingers into his hair, tugging him down for a kiss, and Cody followed willingly. Their lips met, pressing together hard, and Cody changed the angle of his thrusts to gain more leverage. Obi-Wan groaned into the kiss at the new angle, panting into Cody’s mouth, “You feel so good in me, babe. Your cock is the best thing in the fucking world, fuck me. So good.”

Cody squeezed his eyes shut in concentration, burying his face against Obi-Wan’s neck. He was so close. So fucking close. 

“Give me a moment,” he groaned, nipping at the junction of his neck. He stayed pressed deep, sucking at the soft skin of Obi-Wan’s throat. Obi-Wan nodded, panting breathlessly, and Cody reached down to take him in hand. He stroked him a few times before Obi-Wan made a small sound of protest, wrapping his fingers around his wrist and tugging his hand away.

“Give it to me, babe, come on,” Obi-Wan gasped, “I’m almost there,” and Cody shifted further back on his heels, brushing his thumbs over Obi-Wan’s nipples before gripping his hips and fucking into him hard and fast, peasure building at the base of his spine. He felt Obi-Wan tense, squeezing around his cock, and Cody couldn’t hold back any longer, hips stuttering as he tipped over the edge while Obi-Wan spilled on his stomach, clenching around him.

Breathing hard, he stretched down over Obi-Wan, knowing he could take his weight, and smiled as Obi-Wan met him for another kiss, a slow press of their lips. 

“Good?” he murmured, peeling himself away and reaching for the small towels on the nightstand and wiped the come off Obi-Wan’s stomach before easing slowly out of him.

“More than good,” came the sleepy response as he cleaned himself, “come here.”

Cody tossed the used rag aside and snagged the water bottle, lowering himself next to Obi-Wan and passing him the bottle after taking a quick swallow. He pressed close, one leg thrown over Obi-wan, and knew he should get up and brush his teeth but he felt heavy and settled in his bones. “G’night,” he mumbled, tilting his head slightly to meet Obi-Wan’s lips for a sweet kiss, and let slumber take him.

#

Cody woke the next morning to fingers stroking slowly up and down his spine. He blinked, pressing a kiss to Obi-Wan’s pecs, the soft hair tickling his nose, before pushing up to capture his mouth in a slow, languid kiss.

“Good morning,” Obi-Wan said, voice low, his hand settling on Cody’s hip. “Do you think the others are expecting us for breakfast?”

Cody hummed consideringly, aware of Obi-Wan’s erection pressing against his thigh. “I’d say we can be a bit late, wouldn’t you?” he replied, rolling onto his back and pulling Obi-Wan with him.

“I love the way you think,” he grinned, straddling Cody and dipping down for another kiss.

In the end they were more than a little late but if you asked Cody it was more than worth it, even with all the teasing they got.