#where im desperate for content and then finish it in a week

[anotherferalrat]

WDYM YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE GETTING THE WRONG IDEA

WDYMMMM YOU WERE GONNA DIE IN A FIRE TOGETHER????

I KNOW WHAT YOU AREEEEEEEE

[myntrose]

Missing You !

ೃ⁀➷: how the l&ds boys are when they miss you.

a/n: I want these men so bad it hurts. n e ways trying something different from smau 🤍 this is part one, will write the other boys later. Also pls send requests !!

content warning: the boys missing you to the point where it's a bit concerning. maybe ooc. Suggestive in Xavier's part towards the end. Did not proof read srry💔

ft: Zayne, Xavier x reader (separately)

pt. 1 , pt. 2

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ zayne (705 words)

the hospital holds an unnerving chill in the air. everyone can feel it; the staff, nurses, patients and the other doctors. and even though everyone could feel it, no one chose to acknowledge the source of this tension. because no one wants to disturb Dr. Zayne when he's in one of these moods.

It's another hard day for Zayne. The paperwork seemed endless, he's had to deal all sorts of patients, and he hasn't seen you in a week. You were out in a mission, nothing out of the normal for a hunter. But Zayne couldn't help but worry. He loves you, knows you're more than capable of handling yourself, but worrying about you comes as easy as breathing to him. It's second nature, an everyday thought.

Just as he starts to steady himself, the ink of his pen explodes on the report he was writing. He about ready to lose it, letting out a deep, heavy sigh. Zayne isn't usually this disoriented, and it's making him go mad.

Moving from his desk, Zayne paces around his office, opening your last message. it stresses him out that it was 2 days ago.

ms.hunter: ugh this mission is so dumb. smt happened and now it looks like ill be gone longer. im sorry babe :(((

He grips his phone a little harder. Paces the room with heavier steps. Breaths another sigh.

What is wrong with me?

A knock at his door disrupts his pacing.

"What?"

Zayne doesn't realize he said that with a bit too much bite, a bit too coldly. The door opens to reveal his new secretary, looking like a scared little lamb entering the lions den.

He looks at his secretaries face, realizing his harsh tone. Zayne murmurs a quick apology, asking his secretary if there was something needed.

"There's someone here to meet you, Dr. Zayne. Said they had an appointment?" The secretary trails their sentence like a question, knowing that Zayne shouldn't have any appointments today. Poor thing was shivering from the doctor's cold demeanor.

The veins on Zayne's head are almost visible now. On top of this day, an unscheduled appointment? Had it not been for his doctors oath to not harm, he would've denied this appointment.

Another sigh leaves him, as he tells his secretary to let the mystery appointment inside his office. Zayne makes his way back to his desk, head in hands trying to compose himself.

"You really shouldn't be sighing so heavily, Dr. Zayne. Heard it's bad for you"

Zayne's head whipped so fast towards the doorway, that you almost left bad for laughing at the action.

He blinks once, then another, before standing up and meeting you halfway across the room.

" 'm sorry for not texting you sooner, but I've been working twice as hard to get done with my mission-"

You don't get to finish your sentence before Zayne crashes his lips into yours. This kiss was desperate, filled with longing and want. It's almost startling, usually Zayne is more composed than his.

"would be more composed had you told me you'd be arriving back today" Zayne responds, perfectly reading your thoughts. Before you could say anything, he kisses you again. This time, he's softer, placing one hand on the small of your back and the other cradling your face.

You're the one to pull apart first, desperately needing air. Looks like your boyfriend missed you more than you realized. Oh, this was gonna be so fun.

Zayne scoffs, but he's still holding you close. "I do not scowl. It's just been a stressful week at the hospital."

You laugh at that. God, he missed your laugh. He missed you. He walks the both of you to his desk, where he sits you on his lap as he takes a seat.

"Did you miss me that much? It's only been a week."

"A week too long, my love"

While you and Zayne catch up, the rest of the hospital is glad that the chill in the air has died down. Looks like the staff knows who to call when their doctor is in that mood.

𓆩✧𓆪 xavier (570 words)

there's only a few things that causes Xavier to wake up. Either you shaking him awake, peppering his face with kisses, or when you steal the blanket from him.

Actually, it's mostly you that causes him to wake up. And right now, the reason why sleep escapes him is because it seems like you escaped the bed at some point.

Xavier feels around your side of the bed, only to be met with emptiness. Confused, he wakes up, and looks around to see the room still in pitch darkness.

2:34 a.m. It's still horribly early, so you wouldn't have woken up for work. Plus, Xavier knows your schedule better than he knows his. He knows that you don't have any kind of missions to attend to right now.

So, where were you? A sudden rush of thoughts occur at once, and Xavier can't help but assume the worst scenarios. He jumps out of bed and checks around the apartment.

Bathroom? No. Living room? Empty. Kitchen? Quite. He's going a bit crazy, because where did you go?

He just about to rush outside when he hears the sound of keys opening the front door. Turning to the sound, he watches as the door opens to reveal you.

You, holding a bag from the nearby 24/7 convenience store. You walk in, not realizing that Xavier was watching as you enter the room.

You're holding your phone in your other hand, staring at it. It wasn't until you looked up that you noticed you were being watching by your boyfriend.

Your words don't make it to his ears. Rather, he answers you with a question of his own.

"Where were you?" His voice is deep, laced with a serious tone that doesn't quite suit him. Oh no, was he mad?

"I went out to buy ice cream. I couldn't sleep and wanted something sweet. I texted you where I was!" Defending yourself, showing Xavier the bag with a few ice cream bars.

Oh right, he never checked his phone. Xavier pulls his phone out of his pockets, and opens his notifications to see that you in fact did text him where you were.

"Oh."

You move to the kitchen, putting the ice cream away. "Yeah, oh is right. What, d'ya think I just left without saying a work ?" You only meant that jokingly, of course. Turning around, Xavier is right behind you, caging you between himself and the fridge.

It wasn't until you looked at his eyes when you realized that, oh, he was worried. The realization sets in, and you understand what just happened. Xavier had woken up, and genuinely thought you were done.

Your eyes soften as you look at him, moving your hands to his face "Oh, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that." Xavier melts into your touch, and you both stay like this for a while.

You speak up first. "Why don't we go back to sleep?"

Xavier opens his eyes, looking down at you. "Actually, I'm not sleepy right now. I think I'm hungry."

"Do you want some of the ice cream I bought? I got your favorite flavor- Xav- Xavier why are we going to the bedroom?"

"I said I was hungry."

"Oh...?!"

Later that morning, you had to call into work "sick" for both you and Xavier.

[blublublujk]

nobody knows

mini-series

word count: 3k

genre: established relationship (hard dom x slutty sub)

pairing: hoseok x reader and jungkook x reader

summary:

the older tends to stay up a bit longer than you and he doesn’t know if he’s gone mad or if he genuinely smells a different scent on you, but he does. he knows that scent so well, but he knows he must be going crazy. jungkookie? that virgin couldn’t fuck a girl even if she was sent on a silver platter to him.  hoseok shakes the thoughts out of his head and pulls you in closer, his grip is so tight, almost as if he’s trying to prove his point. he’d be damned if his slut was being used by anyone else than him.  but just how much were you willing to get away with? 

warnings: [please read if you are sensitive] hard dom hoseok!!, slutty sub reader!!, hoseok is not nice ok but he isn't terrible i promise, hoseok is extremely possessive, cheating involved but you would too so, explicit sexual content: rough sex, filming during sex, blowjob, sexual thoughts, virgin jungkook, voyeurism, falls between lines of dubious consent, sexting, breast play, nipple piercings, if i missed anything fuck me

a.n: hi there, it's me wanting to start something super unrelated to what i had in mind, but i've been going thru it again so please be easy and patient with me. i'll be dedicating whatever time i have on this for right now since i don't have the mental for something super creative and too long, i'm not really sure where this will go, it’s more like word rambling with no direction just seeing where this leads me, but please lmk if you have anything you wanna see. everything is lowercase because this is just gonna be super sloppy from start to finish. im gonna have fun with this so i hope you do too. see you next time!

—> m.list

—> find me on ao3 & twt

--

hoseok records everything because why wouldn’t he? he records absolutely everything because he wants to look back at old times and remember how desperate you became while slurping his dick down. every time you would pull away he would shove you back down, forcing you to deep throat. hoseok would bring the phone right up to your face, flashing light and all so he could get a good image of how pretty and wet your eyelashes would get. “stick it out for me baby, show the camera how you get.” 

obviously, you listen (you’re the best sub) and hoseok loves it. he loves the cockslut you turn into, how dumb you get whenever his dick is pulled from his baggy jeans. begging for him to fill your pathetic hole. sometimes he makes sure you spend weeks without it so you reminisce about how delicious he felt shoving himself brutally into your tight walls.  

hoseok couldn’t wait to show all the members to brag about how disciplined his little subby angel was, watch their expressions fall as you took him like the good girl you were, mouth slack and moaning like a bitch in heat for him. 

and when jungkook starts begging for a turn because he’s never experienced that with anyone in his life. how could he anyways! he was practically forced into the industry at such a young age and didn’t have any time to explore himself sexually. he’s extremely frustrated and wants to experience sex just once in his life!

jungkook begged just once for it, but hoseok hyung was so mean! he would force the younger to watch while he took you from the back and fucked you drunk. jungkook couldn’t do anything, but watch and whine. he would grow desperate hearing you through walls and sometimes even finding your slick-cum filled panties all over the dorm. 

the more he begged the more hoseok pulled back and continued to tease him about it. jungkook thought maybe he could never have you, but for the live shows from time-to-time were enough and the videos hoseok would take after cumming all over your pretty ass, claiming his bitch once and for all. jungkook lives with that for now. he can’t have you, but that is close enough. 

at the same time, hoseok doesn’t think he will ever share you. no questions asked, he’s just too mean, extremely possessive of what is his. he doesn’t share and will never fucking share. for as long as he lives, you will live off his cock and be thankful for all he gives you. 

but hoseok is an extremely hard worker, spending too much time in his studio and hours on end in the practice room. 

fortunately for you, it’s just enough time for the tricks up your sleeve. 

it started off like this, you would wait until you were sure hoseok was gone and didn’t plan on returning home until late. sometimes, he spent nights in his studio, one could never know being on hoseok’s time. 

given that information, jungkook always came home earlier than everyone else, privileges of being the youngest of all members. it’s not at all that he wasn’t hard working, the others simply worked too much and too hard. jungkook was much more lenient about his time and always allowed himself to rest when it was needed. that being said, it was too easy. 

“jungkookie?” 

when he doesn’t reply, you assume he’s either one, showering, or two he’s dozed off. either way, that simply won’t do. 

“jungkookie?” this time you are louder, knocking three times at his door. 

jungkook opens his door, hair disheveled and sleepy wide-eyed. “noona?”

“ah, sorry. i need some help.” jungkook can’t help the way he practically eats you with his gaze, though he tries to hide it. you were in the shortest shorts he’s ever seen and a tank that squeezed your breasts together. that boy would drool over it, if it wasn’t basically forbidden. hoseok made himself very clear, what’s his is his. 

“what can i help you with noona?” sweet and as respectful as ever, jungkook smiles even after you awaken him from his slumber. 

“i wanted to watch a movie in the living room, but for some reason the tv doesn’t wanna turn on. can you help me fix it?” your tone is short of suggestive, but jungkook is as innocent as ever. 

“of course noona, joon hyung probably messed with it this weekend and never bothered fixing it. you know how it is, let me see what i can do.” living in a condo with seven other men usually meant you would constantly run through problems as such. of course by now, you were used to it and nothing ever really bothered you anymore. they were all really kind and respectful of you, regardless of everything they have seen (hoseok really loves to show off what’s his and doesn’t give a damn what anybody thinks, you were perfect for him). whatever you needed or wanted, you would have it. all you had to do was open your mouth and any of the guys would run to the rescue. 

“thank you jungkookie, noona’s sorry for always bothering you.” you really aren’t. 

“nonsense noona! i’ll always do what i can to help you.” jungkook bends down to assess the tv more properly, and for a minute, he actually struggles finding the source of the problem. while he’s turned around, you shove your tank down, making sure your tits nearly hang out of the fabric, just enough to entice him, but he continued his search not bothering to turn back around. 

“jungkookie—” 

“a-ha! found the issue noona, the tv was just unplugged. joon hyung must have forgotten to replug it. all fixed!” jungkook turns back around, proud smile on his face.

“ah! silly me. i must have not noticed.” except for you did because twenty minutes ago, you unplugged it yourself to do exactly what you were about to do next. “well, i’ll let you rest now. don’t mind me. noona will be here watching a movie if you need anything. unless… you want to watch with me? noona’s very lonely these days.”

“what will you be watching?” the younger’s eyes narrow as if contemplating his answer. 

“iron man?” it comes off as a question, although somewhere along the lines you recall jungkook clearly expressing his love for the superhero. you couldn’t be too far off. 

his face immediately lights up. bingo. 

“of course, i’ll watch with you! i’ll be right back, let me bring some popcorn!” with that, he leaves you behind and you make yourself comfortable. thank god jungkook was so clueless, he had yet to even notice your questionable choice of clothing. you were practically selling yourself bare. his eyes dropped from time-to-time, but jungkook was super respectful. at least, he tried to be. 

“didn’t know if you preferred skittles or reeses pieces, but i brought both.” jungkook hands them off, soft smile on his face, his bangs nearly covering his eyes. 

“thank you jungkookie, make yourself comfortable!”

by his own means of comfortability, he plops himself at a very respectful distance from you, too respectful even and it frustrates you a bit, for now you settle that at least you've gotten this far. 

the movie starts off a bit slow for your liking, but jungkook seems to be enchanted by the damn film from the start, not once does he take his eyes off the stupid screen. mouth stuffed with fluffy popcorn as he sips on some soda. 

“want some?” he gestures at the bowl of popcorn and you quickly shake your head. jungkook turns his attention back to the screen and continues watching the movie happily. 

“it’s chilly no?” you say after some minutes, he doesn’t seem to notice you get a bit closer. stalking him like some predator. it’s really not chilly at all, but even if you were, your choice of clothing is not very helpful. 

jungkook pauses and shakes his head. “not really, i’ll bring you a blanket though!”

curse him for being so sweet and cute. at this rate, you’ll get nowhere and it’s frustrating as fuck. 

“here you go, noona. need anything else?” jungkook lays the blanket over you, covering you up entirely. for fuck sake, does he not get the hint. your outfit is practically useless now! 

“no, that’s all for now. thank you, kookie.” the boy melts away, he adores when he hears that nickname from his noona. one thing was for sure, hoseok was extremely lucky. 

the movie carries on and you almost fall asleep midway. from time-to-time, you hear a few audible reactions coming from jungkook. a few gasps here and there as if he hasn’t watched this movie ten thousand other times and you aren’t sure if your vision has gotten worse or if you saw jungkook tear up, he was quick to shake his tears away so you both go on acting as if nothing happened. 

your phone buzzes at some point in the movie and it could only be one other person. 

daddy: send nudes

me: can’t rn

daddy: why not? 

me: watching a movie

daddy: alone?

me: maybe :)

Well, it’s not like you were lying! what he doesn’t know won't kill him. 

daddy: behave baby, wouldn’t want me to tie you to the bedpost while i’m gone 

hoseok has threatened multiple times to do it and although he’s never done it outside of sex, it’s worrisome the way it turns you on. what you would do for a man to want you that much. 

hoseok has made it beyond clear, the members are completely off limits. you just can’t help yourself. 

me: daddy’s so mean :( 

daddy: yeah, the worst.  now do what i asked of you

me: yes daddy

“gonna use the restroom. need something?” jungkook watches as you walk away and quickly shakes his head no. although you can’t see him, you can feel a heavy gaze lingering as you leave the room. shame he doesn’t act on his lust and arousal, but what more can one expect from a nerdy virgin. 

with a couple flicks of your juicy tits, you send them over straight away with a simple kiss emoji and make your way back in no time. 

jungkook doesn’t even notice your presence until you clear your throat. he smiles at you before he turns his attention back. 

daddy: fuck look at you wanna bite those nipples off 

me: come do it i’m so horny daddy

daddy: yeah?  i’ll fuck it out of you this weekend

me: that’s too long, i want it now

daddy: that’s too bad isn’t it? 

me: why are you so mean :( 

daddy: i gotta go, behave  and don't play with yourself you know i don’t like my shit used 

though you are tempted to send the rolling eyes emoji, you hold it in for your sake, you prefer to keep your pussy intact, thank you very much. hoseok is strictly against pleasing yourself while he’s gone and you understand why to some degree. 

it’s like edging, the sex is just ten times better. you both are more horny, your pussy is much tighter— wetter. you're much needier, desperate even. he does it all for good reason, but what can he do about the fact that you just need a little more. maybe you truly are the slut he says you are and you are about to get what you need, one way or another. someone is bound to give it to you. men are dogs either way. 

you throw your phone aside and attempt to watch the movie again, cuddling yourself, though you much rather be bare and bouncing on dick. we can’t have everything in life, sadly. 

“kookie, noona’s still cold.” you say with one last attempt at this. if he really doesn’t break this time, what else can you fucking do. you’ve already thrown yourself bare and he barely moved. 

“oh? should i get another—” jungkook’s words die at his throat when he feels you lay on his chest, your ass sits on his thigh and he nearly chokes on spit. “n-noona.”

“this will work just fine jungkookie, thank you.” 

if hoseok knew the reality of the situation, he would kill you. that itself accelerates you more than anything. 

jungkook is a bit awkward at first, but he eventually comes through and starts getting comfortable himself, even going as far as laying a hand on your back. 

for a few minutes it stays like that, a bit too quiet for your liking, but you could hear his calming breaths as they leave his body. he smells so fresh, a bit of lavender detergent. god, you want to rip him out of his clothes and show him a good time, if only he let you or much better asked you. 

“noona, something is stabbing me. sorry can you?” 

with a confused expression, you pull off and his eyes land on the exact issue. you almost fail to hide the smile creeping its way on your face. 

“oh! sorry, that’s my nipple piercings.” 

jungkook immediately goes red and starts coughing. “oh! no sorry it’s okay, yeah i’m sorry.” 

“have you ever seen nipple piercings in person kookie?” 

jungkook just shakes his head, cheeks still burning pink. “i know jimin-hyung has them, but he doesn’t show them off like that.” 

oh? that was news to you. you’re intrigued, but for now you handle what is in front of you. 

“ah, wanna see?” 

jungkook’s eyes almost fall out of his head. “w-what about hoseok-hyung?” 

“it’s not like we are doing anything wrong? i can just show you quickly, you know, for scientific purposes.” please let this work, you were on your last chance. 

“o-okay.” jackpot. 

you start by lowering one strap and jungkook’s breath hitches as he watches very closely as more skin becomes uncovered. carefully, you pull at both straps until they have fallen and your tits bounce deliciously as they drop from your flimsy tank. 

jungkook stopped breathing seconds ago, without thinking he pokes at the rod of steel, big-eyes curious and full of stars. “is that?”

“bunnies.” you smile at him sweetly. “they’re little bunnies, just like you.” 

without another word said, jungkook clears his throat and turns red. “i- i’m sorry. i shouldn't have touched.” 

you shrug. “it’s okay, i didn’t mind.” 

“does it hurt?” the younger asks while still not being able to take his eyes off. iron man be gone. 

“no, not at all. you can touch, if you want.” 

jungkook seems to contemplate it for a few seconds before his hand covers yours, holding the perfect mounds of flesh in his palms. he thumbs your piercings in awe, he didn’t even know those types of piercings existed. 

for a few seconds, he does just that. he caresses your soft bare skin, barely putting any pressure as he squeezes them. he’s definitely getting a bit handsy and carried away, but who are you to call his attention. plus you don’t mind one bit, in fact this is exactly what you wanted and you got it. 

it ends as soon as it starts. jungkook lets go of your breasts and shyly looks away. he allows for you to tuck them back inside before he looks back over. “t-thank you, noona.”

“of course.” any time is stuck in your throat, but you bite your tongue and instead watch the movie like you both are supposed to be doing. 

the movie resumes as if nothing happened and it eventually ends. you can’t even be disappointed because you got farther than you thought you would have, but tonight you’ll sleep a bit more comfortably. 

“thank you for watching with me jungkookie, see you tomorrow. goodnight.” just as jungkook is about to reply, he feels a soft kiss on his cheek and he freezes once more. the younger’s face instantly flushes and it takes him so long to form words together. jungkook doesn’t believe his luck or is this his punishment? maybe he’s going insane. 

“goodnight.” he breathes out before you slip out of his hands and into your room. a room you share with his hoseok-hyung, god if he ever knew, he would kill you both. 

jungkook sleeps with one eye open that night, feeling guilty and a bit ashamed. he doesn’t even jerk off like he normally does, tossing and turning all fucking night. it’s not his fault, is it? he doesn’t know what he was doing anyways. he’s a total loser and he feels like one. 

in another room, you aren’t even sure what time hoseok makes it back home, but you do feel the instant he roughly pulls you against his body. flush end against his front, he’s super cold from being out so late so you feel yourself shiver in his hold. you aren’t sure if you are shivering because of that or because you’re scared he’ll smell jungkook’s calming scent all over you. who are you kidding though, he won’t. you’ll be fine and it’s definitely all in your head, that’s what you get for trying your luck. 

hoseok remains quiet as he takes a huge whiff of your hair and kisses down your throat gently. his hand is heavy on your stomach, rubbing circles. 

“daddy?” 

“go back to sleep baby.” hoseok’s voice is deep and firm as he whispers and that eases you back to sleep. 

the older tends to stay up a bit longer than you and he doesn’t know if he’s gone mad or if he genuinely smells a different scent on you, but he does. he knows that scent so well, but he knows he must be going crazy. jungkookie? that virgin couldn’t fuck a girl even if she was sent on a silver platter to him. 

hoseok shakes the thoughts out of his head and pulls you in closer, his grip is so tight, almost as if he’s trying to prove his point. he’d be damned if his slut was being used by anyone else than him. 

but just how much were you willing to get away with? 

[giveafike]

in honour of bens bday u should do a fic where he gets a special bday present iykyk!?!😉😉

TLDR: You surprise Ben on his bday with his fave present ever (you)! DW for my soft girls, I'll be posting a SFW alphabet after this

Word count + info: 3.5k! Lwky way longer than smut I'd normally write, but it's for a special occassion (I had this up my sleeve for some time). Dialogue (sex talk,.).

Warnings + Content Ahead: NSFW - Minors DNI!! Sweet loving unprotected sex, hickeys, oral sex ... erm yeah!

Azzie Notes ✚: I wasn't gonna let u guys go hungry on a day like today! I also wasn't about to proofread and post a NSFW fic in public lmao, so sorry for the wait!! Also, ANON!!! they say great minds think alike, I was gonna surprise u guys for today w this since we're all so desperate rn, anyways, happy birthday to us!! (im so sad he didnt win today, I hope hes ok tho. I also he posts for his bday so I have new pics to drool over)

P.S this cake in the middle made me YELP laughing, I had to include it. I love Ben's barely visible moustache too, pls am i feral or... 🤭🤭 SEND REQUESTS!!

————————————————————————

Shanghai - B.T.S.

You had been planning this for weeks, months actually, sacrificing your time, saving up, and ensuring every detail was perfect for Ben’s 22nd birthday. It wasn’t just another day; it was his day, and you would make sure it was unforgettable.

Of course, he didn't take a break, not even on his birthday. So naturally, you found yourself flying into Shanghai the afternoon before his birthday. You packed last minute but you knew exactly what to do when you got there. His dad, Bryan, and his personal trainer had been in on the whole surprise from the get-go, helping ensure everything would go smoothly. They were kind enough to organise and send you a spare key to Ben's apartment so you could set up his surprise while he spent the early hours preparing and playing on the courts. Ben was already deep into his routine for the Rolex Masters, completely oblivious to your plan. They had arranged for you to sneak into Ben’s apartment while he was out, leaving you the whole morning to prepare for his surprise.

The morning of his birthday, after Ben left for training and his match, you got to work. You had one mission: make everything perfect before he returned. With the help of the chef and a few decorators, who arrived early to set up while you were out, the apartment was being transformed into a celebration space. They handled the food, decorations, and clean up so you could focus on the rest of the surprise.

You went straight from the apartment to the bustling streets of Shanghai, making sure to get everything in one sweep. First, you found a shop that sold the most beautiful silver chain, sleek, simple, and elegant. The links were subtly engraved with the coordinates of the place of your first date. It was a personal, thoughtful gift, something he could wear daily without it being too flashy.

Next, you picked up the balloons, large, metallic letters that spelt out “Happy 22nd Birthday Ben!,” as well as gorgeous bouquets of red roses and white lilies, his favourites, he loved how they smelt. As you walked through the shops, your heart raced. You smiled, imagining his reaction when he saw the apartment transformed, he didn't even know you were here.

Your final stop was a chic lingerie boutique. You browsed through delicate fabrics before choosing a stunning set of black lace lingerie, seductive and understated, the perfect surprise for later that evening. With everything in hand, you rushed back to the apartment, anticipation buzzing in your veins.

Once the chef and decorators finished setting up and left, you had the apartment to yourself. The balloons were floating in the living room, the roses perfectly arranged in tall vases strewn around. The air was filled with the scent of candles and the delicious meal waiting to be heated up later, roasted duck breast, truffle mashed potatoes, and a rich red wine reduction. The cake sat in the fridge, waiting for its moment to shine with the cheeky message iced on top: “Happy Birthday! I love you for you, but that D is an amazing bonus too”. You checked on it and giggled to yourself before you headed to get ready.

You took your time getting ready. First, you showered and did your hair in soft waves that tumbled down your back. Your makeup was flawless, subtle with a bold touch of a deep vampy lipstick. You slipped into the black lace lingerie, feeling a rush of excitement as the delicate fabric hugged your skin. You took your time admiring it on you, knowing it would only get seconds of appreciation before it's torn off. Over it, you put on the gown you had chosen for the evening, a long, sheen golden dress that was tied at the neck and shimmered as it draped down to your ankles. It was backless, elegant yet sensual, teasing the bra wire at the back and you couldn’t wait for Ben to see it.

With everything in place, you received the text from Bryan:

Ben’s on his way back. He’ll be there soon.

It was time.

You lit the candles around the apartment, their warm glow casting a flickering, romantic light across the room. Then you dimmed the overhead lights, giving the space an intimate ambience. You hopped up onto the kitchen island, tucking your feet under you, the golden dress pooled as you propped yourself up with the cake on your lap, carefully placing and lighting candles. The scent of flowers and the flicker of candlelight filled the air as you waited, your heart beating faster with every passing minute.

Ben’s footsteps grew louder as he approached the door, but your heartbeat drowned them out. You took a deep breath, adjusting your posture on the counter, the lit candles casting a soft glow over your golden gown. The cake on your lap, with its cheeky message, waited for his reaction.

The door clicked open, and Ben stepped inside, in his shorts and t-shirt, looking completely unprepared for what greeted him. His eyes scanned the room in a quick sweep, first the balloons and decorations all over, then the flowers, the candles, before landing on you. His jaw dropped, eyes wide in surprise as his bag fell to the floor with a thud.

“Happy Birthday!” you said, hopping off the counter and sauntering towards him, the cake held out for him to blow out the candles. The flickering flames illuminated his expression, pure, genuine shock.

“Holy-" he began, running a hand through his tousled hair. "You're here? In Shanghai?”

You grinned, holding up the cake just beneath his chin. “Surprise, baby.”

He walked over to you in slow strides, shock written all over, converting into a big smile. Ben holds your face, kissing your forehead tenderly before he glances from you to the cake, his smile growing. Then he read the message, written in smooth icing: Happy Birthday! I love you for you, but that D is an amazing bonus too.

Ben chuckled, shaking his head, his voice rich with amusement. “Of course you would write that.”

You winked. “Come on, make a wish, birthday boy. The candles are melting”.

He blew out the candles, his eyes never leaving yours, his intensity heightened by the dim lighting. The last flicker of the candles faded, leaving the two of you in a soft, romantic glow.

You set the cake on the island and looked up at him expectantly with a cheeky smile. “So? What did you wish for?”

Ben tilted his head, his gaze lingering on you for a long moment. “I’m not supposed to tell you, right?” His voice dropped lower as he leaned in, lips brushing your ear. “But if I’m honest, I already got my wish”.

Your cheeks flushed at the warmth in his voice as he planted a kiss on your ear to your cheek, and you laughed, brushing him off playfully. “Smooth, Shelton. Real smooth.”

You beckoned him to take a seat at the dinner table while you plated up dinner. Ben’s gaze followed you as you turned to grab the plates, his eyes catching the thin strap of your lacy bra that peeked out from the backless gown. “Wait a second,” he said, voice thick with admiration. “What are you hidin' under here?".

You smirked over your shoulder, sliding the plated food onto the table. “No spoilers! That's for later”

Ben bit his lip, shaking his head, but the playful gleam in his eye was undeniable.

Dinner was simple yet elegant, spent in perfect company and admiration. The conversation flowed as it always did, full of laughter and warmth. You listened as he recounted stories from his time in Shanghai, but you couldn’t ignore how his gaze kept drifting toward you, especially as he roamed over your face and down to the golden gown.

After the final bites of dinner, it was time for his gifts. You handed him a small box first, an elegant silver chain that he unwrapped carefully, his brow furrowing in curiosity. His fingers brushed over the subtle engraving on the links.

“These are coordinates,” he murmured, more to himself.

You nodded. “To where we had our first date.”

Ben’s expression softened immediately, his hand closing around the chain. “Oh, baby...” His voice was quiet, full of emotion as he thumbed over the engraving. He pulled it on, the silver glinting softly in the candlelight as it rested against his neck. “This is perfect. I love it.”

You smiled, watching him admire it before you handed him a few more small gifts, personal things you knew he’d love, tokens of your relationship like a small scrapbook of things you love about him with printed photos, some gifts from his friends back home, a Lego set. He found himself smiling, chuckling and soft with each gift. As the gifts came to a close, you stood up and made your way in front of Ben.

With a mischievous grin, you leaned closer, voice teasing. “But the best present is still to come.”

Ben raised an eyebrow, his grin widening as you knelt, turned around and swept your hair to the side, revealing the small tie at the nape of your neck that held your golden gown in place. “Want to unwrap your final present?”

His hands were on you in an instant, fingers brushing against your skin as he slowly undid the delicate knot. The gown loosened, slipping easily down your body, the soft fabric cascading to the floor in a golden pool around your feet.

Ben’s breath hitched as he took in the sight of you standing there in front of him in nothing but the black lace lingerie that had played in his mind all night. The candlelight only made you look all the more beautiful, feeling like he was entranced. His gaze travelled over your body, and his voice dropped to a rough whisper. “Jesus, baby…”

His hands gently grazed your bare skin as his eyes roamed over every inch of you. “You knew exactly what you were doing when you picked this out.”

“I know what my boyfriend likes,” you teased, holding his hands and bringing him to his feet. He stood close, his hands roaming the small of your back, your shoulders, your hips - anywhere he could feel your skin. Your height difference is now apparent as you look up at him through your lashes.“I’ve got his taste figured out by now.”

Ben grinned, his gaze darkening as his hand slid up to cradle your jaw. “You definitely do,” he whispered before pulling you into a kiss, deep, slow, and intoxicating. His lips were warm and soft against yours, the heat between you both intensifying with each passing second. The kiss deepened, his hands sliding down to your waist, pulling you closer as though he couldn't get enough of you.

You broke the kiss, breathless, your heart pounding as you looked up at him. “Come with me, just one more surprise,” you said softly, taking his hand and leading him toward the bedroom.

As you approached, the door swung open, revealing a scene that took Ben by surprise once again. The room was bathed in the warm glow of candles scattered across various surfaces, their flickering light casting soft shadows on the walls. Rose petals were strewn artfully over the bed, a trail of them leading from the door to where the plush bedding awaited. It was romantic, thoughtful, and completely personal, elevating the moment beyond any cliché.

Ben stood in the doorway for a moment, his hand still in yours, his gaze sweeping over the room. His breath caught, and he gave a quiet, amazed laugh. “I've never been so spoiled before, Y/N.”

You turned to him, your smile soft, the warmth of the moment settling around you both. “Only the best for you. Happy birthday, baby. I love you so much”.

He didn’t waste another second. In one smooth motion, Ben hauled you up into his arms, his lips capturing yours again in a kiss that felt even more intense than the last. There was something deeper in it now, filled with gratitude and love, not just desire. His hands roamed your body, appreciating every inch, as he brought you towards the bed. Your legs wrapped around his waist as you let him take the reign of the kiss, letting him enjoy feeling you up after so long. The feel of his lips, the way his fingers tangled in your hair as he kissed you like he couldn’t believe you were there, it made the whole night feel perfect. He tugged off his shorts and broke the kiss to take off his t-shirt.

He paused, holding your face as he looked down at you before he began to speak, chains dangling in your face, his voice husky against your skin. “You’ve made this the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you.”.

Your heart swelled at his words, and you smiled softly, holding his face and rubbing your thumb across his cheek. “And the night’s only just started. Let me take care of you tonight”. You winked as you gently pushed his shoulder down, putting you on top and letting him feel nothing but pure pleasure and love tonight. You straddled him as you undid your bra, tossing it to the side.

His breath hitched again, eyes trailing over you in admiration.

“God, you’re perfect,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion and desire. His hands ran up your sides in a feathering feeling, before cupping your breasts, palming and tweaking your nipples.

"And you're amazing. I love you, Ben. I'm all yours" you purred as you swept your hair over to one side, placing your palms on his broad chest, lowering yourself down as you planted kisses along his jaw.

Your words made him exhale deeply, giving you just the motivation you needed. You made sure you were going to kiss every inch of Ben tonight, show him just how much you loved and adored him. You sucked on the soft spots you knew well by now, places that made him whimper and groan with pleasure, your favourite symphony. You nipped at his Adam's apple while he fondled your breasts, pinching, rolling and tugging at your nipples. The feeling made you moan against his throat, both of you enthralled in bliss. You trailed your mouth and tongue down kissing and suckling his shoulders and chest, leaving a trail of hickeys all over. You could hear the soft gasps escape his mouth as he held your body tight.

"Ben? Baby, keep your eyes on me, m'kay?" You purred as you made your way to his stomach, about to kiss down to his happy trail.

His eyes flitted open as he propped himself up to keep his eyes on you, never once breaking eye contact. You trailed down, right by his waistband as you danced around, teasing him. You could feel his hard length, desperate to be free, you could see the desperation in his eyes, his mouth agape, brows furrowed, and you could see your work marked all over him, leaving purple stains tainting his skin.

"Y/N...please" he whispered, his voice croaking.

You smiled, holding back a small laugh as you bit his waistband, dragging it down with your teeth as he lifted himself a bit to help you slide them off. You lowered yourself to the edge of the bed, on your knees, never once breaking eye contact.

Ben's erection sprang free, already hard and eager for your touch. You couldn't help but lick your lips at the sight, feeling a surge of desire course through you.

"Tell me what you want, birthday boy," you hummed, your breath hot against his skin as you placed your head on his thigh.

Ben's eyes were dark with lust as he looked down at you. "Your mouth," he groaned. "Please, baby".

Maintaining eye contact, you slowly kissed the tip, before licking a long stripe from base to tip. Ben let out a low groan, his hands fisting in the sheets. You swirled your tongue around the head before taking his head into your mouth.

Ben's eyes fluttered closed before snapping open again, remembering your request to keep watching. You began to bob your head, taking another inch with each pass. Your hand worked in tandem with your mouth, stroking what you couldn't fit.

"Fuck, baby," Ben panted, one hand moving to tangle in your hair, putting it up into a ponytail. "That feels so good."

You hummed in response, the vibrations making him buck against you. You did your very best to try to take as much of his girthy cock as possible, your eyes watering a bit as you did so. You felt so seductive at this moment, the wetness growing in your lacy thong as you worked your boyfriend as if he paid for this.

As you continued your ministrations, alternating between long, slow licks and deep, rhythmic sucking, Ben's breathing became more ragged. His grip tightened in your hair as he guided you up and down his length as he fought to keep his hips still. You could feel Ben getting close, his cock twitching in your mouth.

"Y/N," he groaned, tugging gently at your hair. "I'm gonna-"

You pulled off with a soft pop, looking up at him through your lashes. "Not yet, baby. I want you inside me".

Ben groaned in frustration, but his eyes were dark with anticipation as you crawled back up his body. You straddled his hips, the lace of your panties brushing against his sensitive skin. His hands roamed your body, caressing every curve and dip before finding your waist. When he reached the waistband of your lace panties, he pushed it to the side, placing his thumb on your clit, and applying pressure. You had worked yourself soaking wet during the whole evening, your arousal was apparent.

You gently hovered and aligned him up to your core, before gently taking him in. You slowly sank onto Ben's length, savouring the delicious stretch as he filled you completely.

You both let out a simultaneous moan of pleasure as you bottomed out, your hands braced on his chest for support. The feeling of him stretching and filling you was amazing, it never failed to make your eyes roll and you took a moment to adjust, savouring the sensation.

Ben's fingers dug into your hips, his eyes locked on yours with an intensity that made your heart race.

"God, you feel amazing," he breathed, voice husky with desire.

You began to move, rolling your hips in a slow, sensual rhythm. Ben met your movements, thrusting up into you with perfect synchronicity. The room filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, skin slapping, soft moans, low groans, and whispered endearments.

As the pace quickened, Ben sat up, wrapping one arm around your waist to pull you closer, deeper if even possible. His other hand tangled in your hair, guiding you into a deep, passionate kiss. You could feel the cool metal of his chains hitting against your breasts with every thrust and roll. His touch on your skin was reverent as if he couldn't believe you were real.

You whispered sweet “i-love-yous” and precious words of endearment, as you felt yourself coming close. He pressed his lips to your forehead, before pressing his forehead against yours, both of you heaving and moaning.

You could feel the tension building, the heat coiling low in your belly as you rode Ben with increasing urgency. Ben's hands roamed your back, tracing the curve of your spine as you rode him, your hips rolling in a sensual rhythm that had you both panting. His thrusts became more erratic, his breathing ragged against your neck as he buried his face there, peppering kisses and gentle bites along your sensitive skin.

"You’re so beautiful, Y/N, so perfect." Ben groaned, his voice strained. "I'm close, baby. So close."

You nodded, moaning, unable to form words as the pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, your body trembling with the effort to hold back your release. "Me too," you managed to gasp. "Together".

You could feel the familiar tension building within you, your movements becoming more urgent. Ben's hand slipped between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit and circling it with practised ease.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged, his breath hot against your ear. "Let go for me".

The added stimulation was all it took to push you over the edge. Your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, pleasure coursing through every nerve ending as you came, followed by Ben, who groaned, his face contorted as he felt himself fill you up. You cried out his name as waves of pleasure washed over you, your body trembling in his arms. Ben held you close, guiding you through your orgasm with gentle thrusts and whispered praise. You both stayed like that for some time before you climbed off him and collapsed on the bed.

“I hope you got everything you wanted, birthday boy” you gasped, catching your breath. Your legs still shook a bit and your body trembled as you lay there, looking up at your smiling boyfriend.

“You have no idea, I can’t wait to spend every birthday like this with you” he smiled, leaning down to peck kisses over your shoulder and neck.

"We'll celebrate like this every year, Ben. Happy birthday, my love" you hummed, pressing a kiss to his lips. With that, you both lay in each other’s arms whispering sweet adorations, happy to spend the next while by each other’s side.

[soracities]

hii! do you ever get into a huge reading slump? i would say ive been in one for about 3 years now and im desperate to escape it and read again but i cant find anything that's 'popular' enjoyable and have no idea where to start in finding content and books i actually enjoy by myself without tiktok or booktube 😭

Oh I've been in a particularly bad slump for at least 2 years so yes, absolutely! I think the key thing here is to try and remove the pressure off yourself as much as you can: don't look at every book you approach with the mindset of "THIS is will be the antidote to my reading slump" or "THIS novel will save me" because it will most likely stop you from actually enjoying the book: when you go in with such high expectations, you're also bringing a very distracting form of hyper-vigilance with you, waiting for the magic moment to hit, counting the pages until it does, being too conscious or worried when it doesn't in the way you envisioned it. It will turn reading into a chore, an endurance test which you either succeed or fail at, and this will only cement the slump further.

Everyone is different and I don't know what kind of books you like most, but the best thing I can advise is to go back before your slump and see what some of your favourite reads were. One way to ease back into reading is to revisit books you loved and read them again--this eliminates some of the pressure and I think it can also help rebuild that excitement because you know you're returning to familiar ground you've enjoyed before. That, or find other works by those same authors whose writing / style you liked and slowly expand from there. I don't log my reading through apps or websites anymore (and I stay away from booktok like the plague but that's a whole other conversation)--I have an ask on how I find my books here and I hope that helps too--but I've heard really good things about The Storygraph so if tiktok and booktube haven't done it for you, this might be a much better way to move towards books you actually enjoy because it's based on your preferences, not an influencer's or what an algorithm is pushing.

Whatever book you decide to try next, I would also advise you to start slow and / or small if that's what you need (more here)--don't force yourself to plow through several hundred pages in one sitting or 2 days. Sometimes breaking a slump is far more sustainable when you do it chip by chip, slowly, but consistently in a way that makes it less daunting than thinking you have to finish 2 novels every week. Something as simple as setting aside 15 minutes to read in bed before you go to sleep each night can do it. You can also look at audiobook versions, or short story collections in whatever genre it is you enjoy most!

Best of luck, anon, and I hope some of these answers will help 🤍

[jensensfanfic]

A CONFESSIONAL ESSAY

[or: a part 2 to 'kissing montage']

pairing: imogen heaney x f!reader

prompts: heartstopperweekly's week 1 prompts -> 1: summer break/holiday) & 3: "Please help me with my homework. I'll owe you one."

word count: 2.2k+

warnings: flirting, established relationship, an almost-love confession, reader literally runs away from her feelings, anxiety

a/n: this was written for week 1 of @heartstopperweekly. it can be read as a standalone fic, but i do recommend reading my fic, "kissing montage" first for the best experience. also, idk if the 'essay themes' mentioned would actually be a thing, but let's just pretend for the sake of this fic

—☆—

Imogen flops onto the bed face first, and the contents of her pencil case all fall out and roll onto the floor where you have your own stationery and books spread out into organised spaces. You hear her begin to talk, but it's muffled due to the pillow her face is now buried in.

"What was that, Im?" Laughing, you rise to your feet and plop onto the edge of the mattress. "Didn't quite catch it."

She lifts her head just long enough to repeat herself. "I said we only have a week left to finish our summer homework, and I have no idea what to write for my English essay."

Imogen slams her face back into the soft pillow and groans loudly. You shuffle up the bed and lay down, peppering her shoulder in little kisses to get her attention.

Imogen sighs and then rolls over to face you. "It's your fault, you know?"

"Excuse me? What's my fault?"

"This... I could've had this stupid essay done already, but you're just so d—" She cuts herself off.

"'So', what?" You lift your brows and wait for her to explain the blush that starts to spread over her cheekbones, but then she suddenly shifts. "Hey, come back and tell me why this is my fault."

"Just forget I said that." Imogen slides off the bed and back onto the floor, picking up her book again to find a blank, lined page. She starts to draw a cloud with little lines coming out of it. "Come on, help me brainstorm ideas."

You follow her to where she's sitting with her legs crossed on the carpet and pull out your phone.

"Wait, what are you doing?" She asks, leaning over to try and look at your phone screen. "You're not gonna help?"

"I'm taking a break."

"But I need you! Help me, please!" She tries her hardest to plead with you, eyes wide and lips pouting. Reaching over, she lightly ghosts her manicured nails over your arm rhythmically.

You'd be lying if you said that the feeling didn't send shivers down your spine; make you want to give in, and then lean over and kiss her– homework forgotten.

"Nope." You shake your head, rapidly blinking heavenly thoughts of flicking her hand away and pulling her over you. "Not until you tell me why it's my fault that you can't write your damn essay."

She huffs, and you hear the little thud of her pen dropping onto paper as you continue playing a game on your phone. You purposefully turn up the volume and grin.

"Really?"

"Really." You look over the screen at her and wiggle your brows. "You can't just blame me and then not tell me why."

"It's just a stupid thing. I didn't mean it, alright." She rolls her eyes. "Just... ugh! Please help me with my homework. I'll owe you one. You're so smart and so creative and so good at—"

"Hold up, hold up, go back. You'll owe me one?"

"Yeah, anything." She perks up, desperate to keep you interested in the possibility of a deal. "We could, uh... go out after? Maybe a cinema date? Or we could order in pizza? I'll pay for it."

You drag your bottom lip in between your teeth and look up at the ceiling, thinking, then shake your head. "I'm not really feeling like going anywhere... or pizza."

"Okay, okay..." Imogen glances around her room. "Um... ooh! You can pick one of my plushies to keep. You can pick any one that you want! Besides my queen frog, of course."

You look over at the green frog plush sitting on her nightstand, a little crown on top of its head. You briefly remember when you'd given it to her years ago, when you were both in primary school and your friendship was beginning to bloom into something special; into a forever kind of deal.

You smile, but you don't answer, so Imogen carries on looking around her bedroom until she spots something lying under her bed.

"What about this guy?" She plucks the Luigi plush that she'd practically stolen from you at the arcade almost a year ago. She waves his arms around and pats his head. "I know you still want to steal him right back after I kidnapped him from you."

"Hmm." You reach out like you are going to take him, but then pull back just as quickly. "Nah. I'll have plenty of chances to reclaim him when you're not looking."

Imogen sudddenly throws her head back, and tosses Luigi across the room, making you flinch a little. He bounces off the door and lands perfectly upright in her laundry basket.

"God sake! You're so annoying." She exclaims.

"Rude!"

"You..." Imogen ignores you and she now looks both equally annoyed and nervous, the second emotion puzzling you. "You want me to tell you why I said it's your fault, don't you?"

"Ha, you know me well. Oh, yes." You smile. "I sure do, Im. I'll help you figure out an essay topic for the low, low price of..." You clap your hands against your legs, creating a drumroll sound effect. "Revealing why this is all my fault."

Imogen looks exasperated, but there's a hint of amusement in the slight pull at the corner of her mouth. Her lashes touch the bottom of her eyebrows when she rolls her eyes again, dramatically.

There's also a feeling of nervousness that momentarily washes over your own body and mind. You worry that she might be about to say anything that could cause discord, or a fight.

What if she was about to say something that would upset or anger you?

It's not like you had never had arguments as a couple before. After all, you had been going out for almost a year. When they did happen, it would usually be resolved in true Imogen and [your name] fashion; with a long talk, a couple of emotion-desolving jokes and lots of kisses.

Before you can overthink too much, Imogen groans loudly before saying, "You better not make fun of me. This is dumb."

"Im, I would never."

"Okay, fine!" Her head falls and she fixate on her fingers, starts to pick at a loose thread on the lilac-coloured cardigan she's wearing. When she speaks, her voice is quiet and shy, not like her usual bubbly self at all. "It's because of you. It's your fault because of... you."

"What does that mean, I don't—"

"Ugh! It's because you're so freaking distracting, okay!? You're cute laugh, and your face, and you're so pretty it's very annoying." She looks up like she's asking for help from a higher power. Continuing on, her eyes drop back to her fidgeting fingertips. "Ugh, it's so embarassing... but, I can never concentrate when you look at me the way you do— like that! Like you are right now! I can't focus when you're always so... you!"

You could swear that your heart literally flips inside of your chest as you hear the words tumble from her lips. It takes several minutes after she's finished to say anything back.

"I..."

One word is all you can manage before you take a steadying breath and try to regain a slither of the confidence you had been wearing before her outburst of honest affection. It takes a moment, but you find it, shuffling closer to Imogen.

"You find me... distracting, huh?"

You bump her shoulder with yours, in the space where her cardigan has fallen down to her inner elbow. The familiar sensation of tingles chase themselves all over your body at the innocent, yet intimate press of skin against skin.

It feels like fireworks.

"That's why you can't decide on an essay topic?"

Imogen tries to turn away, but you swiftly take one of her hands, stopping her. You use the other hand to take her chin between your thumb and fingers, and guide her face to look at you properly.

The rose-coloured shadow that dusts her cheeks is now visible, and you find it both adorable and a huge compliment towards you; making you feel all kinds of lovely and warm and prized.

"Im, that's so sweet. And you know I find it hard to get anything done around you as well." You lean forward and kiss the corner of her mouth. "All I want to do when I'm with you, is grab your gorgeous face and kiss you forever."

Imogen's fingers interlace with yours as a small, shy laugh escapes her. She finally replies, tinted cheeks still evident and pleasantly hot under the tender stroke of your thumb. "Really?"

"Can't you tell?" You move impossibly closer and peck the space between the top or her nose and her forehead. "That's why I can't stop looking at you, but I never thought you noticed, to be honest."

"Well, I wish you would stop, so I can get some work done."

"I don't think I could stop if I tried." You rest your forehead against hers and smile. You chuckle then, repeating the same phrase that has become your thing since you began dating. "I really, really like you."

She hums, content. "Hm. I really, really, really like you, too."

Imogen's hand comes up to hold the back of your neck, and you stay locked in the moment for as long as it takes for you mind to come up with an idea, dragging you out of the bubble moment and causing you to pull away.

Imogen's looks dazed and confused, her hand hovering in the air from the sudden loss of contact. "What— Come back! That was nice!"

"Sorry, I just got an idea for your essay."

"Really? Okay, wait a sec." Imogen's eyes widen, and then she reaches for her book and scrambles for the pen she wants; a purple one with a little fuzzy ball on the end. Once found, she rest the book on her leg. "Alright, tell me your brilliant idea."

"You can write about me." Imogen smirks and quirks a brow.

"I— ha— I don't mean that in like, a self-centred type of way. I don't mean you should write about me, specifically, but the theme is romance, right?"

"Or friendship, or family relations. Basically any type of relationship... it's pretty vague."

"Well, maybe you could write about chemistry, like in a relationship. Like ours." You pause for a beat. Imogen's smile is fond as she patiently waits for more. "It could be about how two people can become drawn to each other. How they can feel so connected that sometimes it's all they can think about, to the point where it becomes, you know... distracting."

"Mmhmm." As Imogen nods along excitedly, practically transcribing every word you say into her book, you start to feel breathless. You find yourself pressing a hand against your sweater covered chest.

You try to push on, wanting nothing more than to help Imogen, despite the beads of sweat suddenly adorning the line of your hair.

"Write about how it can actually interfere with your day, thinking about that person and how much you crave being around them, and how much you lo— uh, how much you... like them." You such in a sharp breath, wiping your now-clammy hands on your jeans. "Like being around them. Yep, okay."

You stop abruptly, and Imogen glances at you with expectant, sparkly blue eyes. Her head tilts in the way you've always found so alluring, and she gestures with her hand in a way that says 'carry on' without words.

"Uh— yeah... just write about... all that, and—"

"Wait, keep going, please. This is great." You blow out a breath, and Imogen frowns. "Are you okay?"

Your skin prickles with goosebumps when Imogen picks up your hand and runs her thumb gently over your trembling hand.

"Wait, are you feeling okay?" She puts down her book and lays a hand on your cheek. "What's wrong? You've gone pale, babe."

"Oh... God, don't call me that right now."

You shove her hand away, and immediately notice her mouth fall slightly, a hurt look crossing her features. "I'm sorry, I—"

"No, no. No, don't be, just—" You quickly pick up your phone and stand up. "I need to get out of here."

"You're leaving? But—"

"I have to..." You mumble, then swing open her bedroom door. "I have to go home."

"Wait—" You hear Imogen rustling around as you run down the stairs.

Once you've reached the door and gotten outside, you close the door and lean against in for a quick breath. "Oh, my God."

"What just happened?" You hear Imogen's mother say from inside, her voice prompting you to starting running again.

As your pulse races and your body moves on impulse, your mind reels with the words you are certain were about to spill out of your mouth if you hadn't left when you did.

It's not as though you don't want to tell Imogen how you've been feeling for the past few weeks now... it's just incredibly daunting to think about what her reaction could be.

That night, you don't get any sleep whatsoever as your mind acts like a never-ending camera roll of possible ways a confession like that could have gone; all of the awful, perfect and heartbreaking ways.

"Ugh!"

—☆—

Taglist: @whereimwritingfrom @wqxianwriting @httphayn @imdoingbetternow (lmk if you want to be added or removed to all future imogen fics!!)

[lizzie-harper]

hiii :3

this is my first time requesting anything ever on tumblr so if the request is too vague or rude pls lmk… but can you pretty please with a cherry on top do a noah x reader (total drama) where they are just chatting casually and mid conversation noah cuts them off and just blurts out very blunt “i think i like you” and then immediately after is like “i’msosorry for interrupting you- but i desperately needed to get that off my chest” because he literally couldn’t think straight whenever they were around, and it was bothering him so bad for weeks.

pls i beg of you😭 even tho he’s a fan favorite in the fandom i literally can’t find any x reader fics of him and im so desperate that im facing my fears of rejection just for a CRUMB of noah content 🙏🧎

today is your lucky day anon! my honest reaction to seeing this request:

Noah x Reader - Unfortunately

Total Drama: World Tour had finished filming — and frankly? You were thankful it was finally over. You enjoyed being on the show, getting to spend time with everyone, but it got exhausting having to watch your back all the time. You had been placed on “Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot” (to your disdain). Alejandro was rubbing you the wrong way the whole time, and apparently, Noah too.

The two of you had bonded during the first season, and the second one as you were both members of the Peanut Gallery. You liked him. He was smart, funny, and kind — sort of. You liked him, like, really liked him. A bit too much to be “just” friends, as Gwen had so kindly pointed out for you in the Peanut Gallery of Season 3.

You chose to ignore that though. Especially since the two of you now sat shoulder-to-shoulder at the edge of the pool. Chris had let the cast stay at the resort of the first season, something akin to a reward for surviving yet another season of his nonsensical experiments. Your legs dangled in the warm water as ripples lipped against your shins. Noah was visibly more tense than usual, but you chose to ignore it. If he wanted to talk about it, he would.

“I don’t think the movie adaption was much better though,” you sighed, kicking your leg in the water. “They were both kind of shitty.”

“You just have bad taste,” Noah nudged his shoulders against yours with a snort.

“I don’t! I swear, you just have weird-“

“I think I like you.”

Silence. He looked at you, mouth agape, as if you were the one who said it. You were certain your expression mirrored his as you blinked, baffled.

“I’m so sorry for interrupting you-“ his eyes widened even further, if possible, as he frantically apologized. “But I desperately needed to get that off my chest. You’re just so smart, and kind, and pretty, and you’re actually really, really cool and whenever I’m around you I can’t think straight and it’s been bothering me for weeks and I just needed to tell you.” He finished breathlessly, staring at you like he just didn’t pour his whole heart out to you.

“You think I’m pretty?” The corner of your lips twitch up into a smile, a smug expression adorning your face.

“Of course that was the one bit you focused on,” Noah huffed, turning away from you with pink cheeks. “Just forget I said anything.”

“Hey,” you laughed, hitting his arm with your hand. “I like you too.” The confession was reluctant, but you were glad it was finally off your chest.

“You do?”

“Unfortunately,” you grinned as you shuffled closer to him. Your head falls against his shoulder, staring at your reflections in the water.

“Yeah,” he smiled softly. “Unfortunately.”

erm so i hope you liked it!

ALSO

never be scared to request anything from me, or from anyone for that matter, we promise we don’t judge you anon <3

[ceruleanskyz]

Fuck it, I’m rewriting this to be more canon complainant. I like it though, so I’ll just rewrite the scenes to fit the new storyline. Yall can have this unfinished bit cause I really don’t have the heart to finish it knowing imma rewrite it rn, so be left in suspense.

CW/TW: Copious angst, Bhaalspawn typical violence, hurt with a little bit of comfort but mostly hurt, slight sh ig but it’s not like, a thing, feel like I should still warn yall tho. Fic ends REALLY ABRUPTLY, IM SORRY.😭😭😭

Enjoy lmfao

Today was not a good day. Rhyse had been lightly ignoring Gortash for weeks; it wasn’t his fault, this time. You see, the two had been allied for somewhere around 3 years, quite a significant amount of time for Rhyse. Gortash was the first person that his father, the god Bhaal, had allowed him to be this close too…. well.. allowed was a strong word. Bhaal tolerated the two, or, at least, he did.

Rhyse first noticed it weeks ago, his Urges getting stronger around the tyrant, even after he’s more than satisfied his kill quota, and his nightmares were worse, more… real, almost threatening for Gortash to end up like his long gone adopted family. He suspected his father was punishing him for getting nowhere with the heist, to steal the Crown of Karsus, in weeks. (A plan the two were not so subtly elongating. The truth was, the two quite enjoyed the comfort the added time together had brought them, though, neither would openly admit it.)

He got his confirmation around a week ago, plain as day, from Bhaal himself. ‘Gortash was no longer beneficial to the cult, kill him’. Rhyse, of course, tried to refute, pleaded, their plan for ‘The Absolute’ had only just begun. He spoke of the souls it would bring his father, he hadn’t forgotten about their grand plan, he promised. It would still be him alone in the end, and then none, but until then let him live.

Bhaal would hear none of it, and frankly, Rhyse was terrified. He knew his father would have to see reason eventually, he wanted Orin, his sister, gone too, before Rhyse found a use for her. No, Rhyse was afraid that by the time his father would even hear him out, his tyrant would be long gone.

It was killing Rhyse to ignore Gortash’s letters, delivered to his windowsill by his Crow, Carrion, or even into Rhyse’s head through the sending spell, and Gortash hated using sending spells, he was clearly growing more desperate, the letter’s contents were getting more sporadic.

Rhyse knew he needed to confront the man head on, he wasn’t sure how bad his urges would be affecting him, but from previous experience… well, Rhyse didn’t like dwelling on the past. No, best to meet with Gortash now, while he is still, mostly, in his right mind.

Rhyse takes no weapons with him, but he doubted it would matter, his bare claws would be more than enough to take care of Gortash, he just hoped the tyrant had enough sense to properly defend himself. Rhyse scratches his Direwolf, Marrow, as he leaves, but he would not dare bring the beast with him. A ranger’s companion has a unique bond with the ranger's soul, it can fein death as long as the ranger is alive, but in exchange, it also gets some of the bhaalspawn’s… quirks. He knows from experience the urges affect his precious companion too, and he wasn’t willing to risk Gortash’s life over it.

Rhyse arrived at Gortash’s estate not long before noon, as he misty stepped into Gortash’s office with no sound more than a click. It took the man a moment to even notice Rhyse was there, his deeply sleep deprived eyes scanning some legal scroll, it’s only until Rhyse flicks his tail against a metal candelabra that Gortash’s eyes shoot up.

“Rhyse!” the man's voice fills with equal amounts of relief and anger, and worry. Rhyse waited to get chewed out by the man, already knowing he definitely deserved most of it. “Where in the Hells have you been!? You haven’t given me so much as a note, a ‘hey by the way I’m not fucking dead’ In weeks! The only thing I had to go off of that you were even receiving anything I was sending was your damned pigeon!” He pauses finally to take a sharp inhale, clearly running out of energy to stay upset, “And- And now you just ‘appear in my office’? Like nothing happened? I expect a damn good explanation from you.” He sighs, and laces his fingers through his obsidian black disaster of a haircut.

“Good to see you too” Rhyse basically collapses in a chair, he sees Gortash’s eyes dart across Rhyse’s body, searching for any insight on the situation.

“Where. Were. You.” Gortash snarls, his eyes narrow on the tiefling.

Rhyse pauses, he can’t exactly tell Gortash ‘Oh hey, funny story, dear old dad wants you dead’ but he can’t bring himself to lie to him, not with the two so ragged, emotions raw and strained, even though lying would be so easy, so simple. They could pretend to be normal, if only for a moment. “I- It’s… It’s complicated, okay?” Rhyse pauses, unsure of what to say. “My urges have been… inconvenient as of late. It was easier this way.”

“Easier!? Rhyse I-” Gortash sighed, and forced himself to relax in his chair, “Gods you are a nightmare sometimes. Just… Just tell me all you can, it’s not good for either of us if you’re ignoring me, so just spit it out.”

Rhyse chuckles slightly, it would be better for both of them, actually. At the very least for the tyrant, and as long as he’s safe, well, Rhyse can deal. He thinks about how to broach the subject with the man, the fragile, horrible truth, that could mean losing him forever. “I- You know how my Father is. He’s… not seeing the bigger picture, currently. But I have a- GH!” Rhyse’s blood goes hot, mind clouded with the overwhelming urge to wrap his claws around Gortash’s throat. He forces his talons to meet his forearms instead, in a futile attempt to subside the rush, to drown it out with pain of his own. “Oh hells” he muttered through gritted teeth, and bowed his head down, squeezed his eyes closed. He could wait it out, he wasn’t going to let his urges get the better of him.

He felt Gortash’s hand lightly trace his bloodstained fingertips, felt some part of himself that wasn’t quite his own growl at the touch, he fought every urge to rip his calloused fingers from his hands. “You weren’t exaggerating.” He said, tone laced with concern, and placed his hand firmly on the Bhaalspawn’s, forcing it to loosen slightly. “Who does your father want dead? It’s not- Hells is it me?”

Rhyse shrinks into himself. “Look I- nothing’s going to happen to you. I can control myself.” He bit back through the bloodlust, the worst of it fading from his mind. Rhyse eased slightly, and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. “I don’t know what I’m going to do” he chuckled grimly. Rhyse met Gortash’s eyes, far too calm for their current situation. It would be so much easier if Gortash hated him, feared him. Gortash was the first person he’d allowed himself to get close to since coming to the Bhaal temple, first person that was his, not his fathers. Part of himself agreed with his father, he had gotten soft, but maybe- maybe that wasn’t the worst thing.

“We.” Gortash reminded, “What are we going to do, because you are not going to ignore me like that again.” the man commanded, Rhyse wished he had that kind of confidence.

“Right, We.” He looked away, he wished so desperately the two could be we, be each other’s, but Rhyse belonged to Bhaal, and Gortash to Bane, they weren’t allowed to be any more. “We should work on that heist. It will be easier to convince him once I have concrete proof it’s possible.”

Gortash nodded. “Of course,” he got up from his chair to bring a stack of books and maps to his desk, Gortash grabbing a hefty tome detailing Mephistopilese’s layer, and Rhyse finished a chart of the journey. Neither could find a map of the archive’s insides, but they did find descriptions of hidden passageways, and traps.

Rhyse paused, and moved the map closer to Gortash “You think we could use a spell to get in through this window? Using an Interdimensional Gateway spell possibly?” He examined the map further, it should be old enough to have limited security, but from there they could find a passageway into the inner archives.

“Hm…” Gortash thought for a moment, “Maybe, but what if there’s spell detection? He is a wizard, it would be protected… wouldn’t it?”

“Hah! But that’s the thing!” Rhyse grinned, and he pulled out a tattered journal from the stack, and flipped to a sequence of stitched in notes detailing security protocols. “See here, there’s only portal detection to get into the archives, because over here-” he grabbed the man’s hand and traced it to a small clearing, nearby, separated physically, yes, but near enough that anti magic systems would be counterproductive. “Is where the Archivists mages train. Which means the radius can’t extend farther than about… here.” He uses Gortash’s finger to draw an arc, and points his free hand to a spot just outside of it, “This is where we get inside. I know, don’t thank me.” Rhyse chuckles, proud of his work.

Gortash stared at him, eyes wide “That’s- That’s what we’re missing. You’re Brilliant!”

“We’re brilliant.” He says, quoting the tyrant’s previous words. Neither could’ve gotten anywhere near this close without the other, but together, together they were unstoppable. The two continued like this, bouncing ideas back and forth, enjoying the others' company until nightfall.

“-Anyways, if we use this hidden passageway, this tome says there may be an exit leading right to- Is your tail wagging?” Gortash’s ramble stopped abruptly at the realization. Wait was it?- Gods it was, Rhyse willed his tail to stop.

“I- What are you talking about?” He lied, Gortash was never going to let him live this down, Rhyse knew it.

The man burst into cackling laughter, “Gods, it was! Are you embarrassed?” Gortash sneered.

“Shut the fuck up, not a word.” Rhyse huffed, feigning being upset, holding back his own laughter. For a moment, it felt like it was just the two of them in the world, no priorities, no responsibilities, no Orin, or Severok, or Bhaal-

A treacherous thought, immediately punished by a surge of bloodlust. He tried everything in his power to keep it down, keep it under control. “Dammitdammitdammitdammit Fuck!” He fell back from his chair to the cold hard stone, and pushed his back with force into the nearest wall. His vision went blurry and red, his hearing clouded by the rush of his own blood. Claws raked through his raven hair, his breathing grew unsteady, his muscles urged to gut the man open, to hold the heart in his hands and crush it, watch the blood and gore drip down. Stopitstopitstopitstopit, keep it under control, he had too.

“-yse, Rhyse! Rhyse gods damn it!” he heard the tyrant rush over to his side, wasn’t in control of himself when he felt his claws sink into the man's shoulder. “Hey, you’re alright, breathe.” But the Bhaalspawn wasn’t in control of himself. He ripped the coat from the tyrant, and immediately Rhyse saw Gortash’s eyes flash genuine fear. The Urge relished in the man's fright, but it only made Rhyse fight back harder. Rhyse heard the man’s voice waiver as he attempted to comment wittily, but couldn’t even manage that. “I-” The Urge growled and sunk Rhyse’s claws into Gortash’s neck.

Right as he was about to finish the man off, he regained control and stumbled back. “Fuckfuckfuckfuck oh Hells.” He tried to calm his own breathing, but all his immediate attention was on Gortash. Rhyse rushed forward slightly, preparing a cure wounds spell for Gortash, but stopped immediately when he saw the man flinch.

After a second, Gortash sat up and chuckled grimly, unable to meet the Bhaalspawn’s eyes. “Gods, for a moment, I thought I was really going to die.” Gortash allowed himself to be healed. Even without his coat, he was an expert at hiding his emotions, but Rhyse heard his voice elevate, the waver in his words.

“I shouldn’t have come.” Rhyse growled, mostly to himself, how could he have been so stupid, thinking he could fight his own father, his very blood. Once Gortash was healed Rhyse immediately got up to leave, but he felt a hand grab his wrist. “Gortash, let go.”

“You don’t plan on returning, do you? Is this really it? Our plan, everything we’ve built towards, is this really where you want it to end” The tyrant nearly pleaded, it’s unbecoming of a Chosen of Bane. His hidden words, his broken eyes, ask a different question, Is this where we end? Like they ever ‘began’ in the first place, but it nearly made Rhyse break. How could he still care about him? Rhyse nearly killed him.

“Let. Go.” Rhyse snarled. Let go of him, his memory, move on, it will hurt less. Rather cut their losses now, than watch the dagger twist through his ribcage, tears pouring down as the tyrant’s heart stops.

“When do you plan on returning? Because you will return.” He grips the Tieflings wrist tighter, Rhyse could rip that pretty hand off his wrist with no more than a well placed yank.

“Let go. I will not warn you again.” He tugs his arm, but makes no real effort to break free.

Oops, there’s the end :/ I have beef with tumblr for fucking up all my formatting but I’m on mobile so I can’t do anything about it.

[chudesiii]

incubus// kuroo x reader pt1

kuina pats my shoulder,” im glad you got the week off. you’re always overworking yourself.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” i say back rolling my eyes.

i throw my bag over my back and begin to head to the exit. before leaving i turn my head back to the remaining people and throw a peace sign,” I’ll see you guys in a week, i guess.”

i get various shouts of goodbyes and i exit on the building. i start my walk to my house, looking at the many shops on my way. i keep walking and are thrown out of my thoughts when i hear a meow. i turn my head into the small alleyway, and while sketchy decide to go in there anyway. 

at my feet is an all-black cat with piercing green eyes. as i look closer and see its injured and laying on its side, blood pouring from the wound. i couldn’t just leave the poor thing here, so i scoop the cat into my arms and continue my walk home, hurrying this time. 

 i arrive to my house, grabbing the keys from my back pocket and unlocking the door. i bring the cat to a clean table and leave to my closet, where the medical supplies lay. 

i hurry back to the table and begin to stitch and clean the cats wound. i finish after some time and clean the area up. i observe the cat and see no collar, it must be a stray.

i can’t just dump the cat back on the streets, it might get hurt again. i guess it can stay with me until it heals completely. i scratch its head, and it purrs in content.

i sigh as i realize i’ll have to go back out to go get some cat food, it’s no wonder how long it’s been since the cat last ate. i quickly go out to get some cat food and a litterbox. i make it home quick and set things up for him. ( i had checked his gender before going.)

i gesture towards the food dish filled with cat food, he looks at it with disgust before turning his nose up at it. he then come towards me and my plate of mackerel pike. i move the plate towards him and he digs in, eating it with excitement.

after hes done i head to take a shower and then get ready for bed. i throw on a thin nightgown with nothing underneath. and get in bed under the covers, the cat jumps on the bed next to me. he cuddles up to my side, i stroke his head. 

drossiness hits me and i fall into the sleep world.

 i feel hands gliding all over my body. i open my eyes and see nothing but a dark figure and piercing green eyes. his hand slide under my night gown, rubbing my bare body the hands are cold and i shiver at the feeling.

the fingers are cold as they press against my nipples, them hardening on contact. i let out at stifled gasp as they begin tugging on them, and as their knee press against my cunt.

what i imagine their lips are begun to kiss down my neck in soft pecks. they’re surprisingly warm, compared to their body, ice cold.

their fingers continue to twist and tug on my nipples, and they pinch one in particular which make me let out a moan.

i feel their lips twist up in a smirk and they bite my neck, not harshly, but not soft either.

they lift their head from neck, still playing with my nipples, and take me into a kiss. i kiss back, a familiar wetness spreading in between my legs. i buck my hips into their knee, desperate for friction.

they pull back from the kiss, their hands sliding to my waist.

“Needy, aren’t we?” they speak. 

i realize their, no his, face had become more visible as i see spiky black hair. i find me being turned on even more from his voice. he removes his knee and replaces it with his hand and i feel the squelching noises as he plays with clit. i moan and buck my hips into his hand.

he removes his hand and moves down, his head in between my legs. he holds them open with his hand and i prop myself up with my arms to get a better view. i see him looking straight into my eyes and he licks a long stripe up my slit.

i throw my head back in pleasure as he begins to eat me out. sucking my outer lips while toying with my clit before licking my entrance, then inserting two fingers inside me. he licks and sucks on my clit while he fingers me. he curls his fingers upwards hitting a spot i could only dream of reaching.

my stomach starts to tighten up and i realize im close, he buries his entire face in between my thighs, eating me as if i was his last meal, removing his fingers.

 i moan out in pleasure,” i’m clos- augh~.”

 i can’t even finish my sentence before my thighs start to tremble and i release all over his face. my legs spasm around his head his hair tickling my stomach. he continues to eat me out, as my thighs keep quivering and shaking. making sure not a drop goes to waste.

i wake up, sweat covering me everywhere. and i feel a huge wetness between my legs that im sure isnt sweat. i look to my side to see that the cat was looking at me intently. those green eyes remind me of the mysterious man in my dreams, but i shake it off and head to the bathroom to clean myself up. 

i come back before getting in the bed once again, going to sleep with no lewd dreams this time.

[lubdubsworld]

The Devil’s own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.)

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed there , staring at the ceiling and trying to come to terms with what had just happened. It was revolting. It was nauseating. It made me want to claw my own skin off. I stared at the intricate designs , carved into the ceiling, the panels that reflected life and made the room seem bigger than it was. The scent of jasmine and rosemary clung to the sheets and the drapes in the room, cloyingly sweet and meant to arouse the occupants.

I wondered how I’d got here.

I had memories of satin silk sheets and bright lights. My father had always spoiled me, the best of the best only for his only daughter and I’d indulged in luxury to my heart’s content. More shoes than I could possibly wear in a life time. Every season’s collection, straight into my wardrobe whether I asked for it or not. Diamonds and rubies and emeralds set in platinum and gold , jewelry to match my clothes and even my car if I felt like it.

I shut my eyes in despair. I didn’t miss the luxury as much as I missed the solitude. The option to just not do anything. My father hadn’t cared enough to see what I was upto and everyone knew that I was betrothed to Jungkook.

And that meant no dates or party invites because after the third guy got his arm in a sling after accidentally brushing past me , word kind of spread.  Stay away from Elena Gong or the Jeon kid will break your bones.

I shuddered. It had been an obsession, I thought vacantly.

Jungkook had been obsessed, even back then. I just hadn’t paid much heed to him. Because Jungkook back then had been terrifying but also ridiculously endearing in some way. He had seemed for lack of a better word…..insignificant. I was beautiful and rich, never lacked for attention and he was just one among the dozens. Even if I was betrothed to him, I hadn’t given much thought to him.

And Jungkook had taken my indifference in stride. He’d laughed and played around and I hated to admit it, treated me like a queen. Flowers, chocolates and gifts every other day . He would follow me around like a puppy , and I wondered if perhaps my dismissive attitude towards him back then had been a mistake. Did it push him over the edge?

My heart ached fiercely and when I finally willed myself to move, my body protested.

Every inch of me was sore and aching. My head because of how hard he’d gripped my hair. I sat up on shaky legs, fingers trembling as I pulled my shit up to stare at my body. Bite marks littered my skin, marring the smooth surface and I felt bile in my throat at the memory of his teeth on me.  Finger shaped bruises were beginning to bloom around my thighs and I couldn’t breathe over the agony ripping up my insides.

I glanced down between my thighs, at the sticky mess of his release dripping down into the sheets, staining the sheets a murky pink. I shuddered, disgusted. God, I hated him. Where was my phone? My clothes were still there at the foot of the bed and I noticed the small door on the right wall. Crawling off the bed on shaky legs , I limped carefully to the bathroom.

I took Hoseok’s shirt off dropping it in the corner before turning the showers on.

The water felt like a whip on my skin as I sat on the tiled bathroom floor , a small washcloth gripped tight in my hand as I carefully cleaned myself up. I had no idea what the time was… It must be very early or very late. No matter. I had to get out of here and get to Jisoo. I swallowed, imagining her alone all this time. The doctors had said she would be up in Guilt churned as I quickly grabbed a towel from the closet and wiped myself down.

It took me another ten minutes to finish dressing up and just as I finished slipping into my shoes, the door opened.  I glanced up, catching sight of Hoseok as he leaned against the door. He looked a little haggard, a black silk shirt unbuttoned to his chest and tucked into fitted jeans. I stared at him, watching the way his gaze roved over every inch of exposed skin, looking just a tad bit worried.

“The Hospital called. “ He said gently, “ They’re ready to release you sister. They want to know if you can come pick her up. The baby’s going to have to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks.”

I groaned. Great. More bills.

“I need a job. “ I said miserably. “ Help me out.” I stared at him beseechingly and Hoseok gave me a look.

“you know the kind of jobs I provide. You’re not built for it. “ He said shortly and I shook my head, impatient.

“that’s not what I meant and you know it. You and your friends pretty much own every club in the city. Get me a job ….” I whispered, moving to stand in front of him and he recoiled.

Just as always, I thought bitterly. Coward.

As much as a coward now as he’d been ten years ago, when he’d pretended that he didn’t have any feelings for me. Pretended that he didn’t give a damn about me.

The throb in my skull grew in intensity.

My throat was dry and I felt my vision swim a bit. I was tired. Exhausted . I hadn’t slept in….how long really? I hadn’t eaten in a day…for sure… And I likely wasn’t going to be eating for a long while, let alone feeding Jisoo if I didn’t get a job right away. I had twelve thousand won to my name and that was it.

“Jungkook-“ He began but I was sick of his name so I growled.

“Fuck, do you want me to beg Hoseok? I will… I can’t … I need a job… Please.” I said desperately, staring at him and his gaze softened.

“Elena, stop looking at me like that, fuck.” He swore, turning and punching the wall hard. “ fuck.”

“Just help me get a job. I’m not asking you to give me money or something.  You don’t even have to get it for me… Just tell me who’s hiring ? Somewhere away from Jungkook and his men.” I whispered , and the sheer irony of it didn’t escape me. Jung Hoseok was possibly one of Jungkook’s main men.

He ran his hand over his forehead, shaking his head.

“You’re going to get me killed someday.” He muttered, “ Fine. There’s a club down in Itaewon. It caters to cops and lawyers exclusively so Jungkook and his men usually keep out of it. My friend owns the place. His name is Im Jaebum.  I’ll get you a job there , waitressing. Is that alright?” He said softly and I wanted to sob in relief as I nodded. Itaewon meant pretty close to where the bakery was. I could take the bus.

“Fine. I’ll talk to him and call you. Here…” He held out a wad of cash and I took it greedily, eyes widening at the 100,000 written on the margin of each note. This was a lot of money.

“Hoseok…”I said stunned and he shrugged. “ Get food and baby stuff for Jisoo. If she’s going to feed the baby she needs to eat well. Fruits and veggies and lot of protein. If you run out, tell Jaebum you need some advance. He’ll pay you well.”

I nodded, stuffing the money into my pockets quickly . I swallowed when my insides throbbed, aching something fierce.

“Thank you.” I said softly, staring up at him and he hesitated, before reaching out and gently cupping my face in his palm. I flinched at his touch and he recoiled.

“Was he… Did he hurt you?” He whispered quietly and I smiled bitterly.

“Wasn’t that the whole point?” I sighed, shaking my head . I hesitated . I wasn’t sure if Hoseok would listen to me but I had to try at least.

“ Can you not tell him? That… That I was a virgin?” I asked quietly and he nodded.

“Wasn’t planning to.” He said casually.

I stared at him. I’d always found him handsome. Beautiful. Perfect . And I wondered where we had gone so wrong.

“Do you regret it.” I whispered. “ All those choices you made.”

“Which ones? …” he asked bitterly.

“you know… “ I snapped. “ the ones that lead us here. You and me…. Standing here like strangers. “

“I wouldn’t risk my life for a stranger. Which is what I’m doing every time I help you .” He said quietly.

“So what are we then?” I demanded.

“Old friends” He said casually.

I snorted.

“Fucking coward.” I whispered , loud enough for him to hear as I brushed past him and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I trudged all the way to the VIP room in the hospital flinching because that was probably a lot of money to be repaid , now owed directly to the devil spawn that was Jeon. I had grabbed a small meal on the way before quickly getting the bus to the Hospital. It was little past eleven in the morning and the hallways were packed with people. Sighing, I moved to the room where Jisoo was, slowly opening the door.

Min Yoongi sat on the chair next to the bed, gazing idly at my sister in law.

To say that I was shocked would be the biggest understatement of the century. My lips parted in shock, panic bubbling up inside me as I exhaled sharply.

“What-“ I swallowed gazing between him and my Jisoo, who was sitting up against the backrest on the bed, a tray of food on her lap and a small smile on her face.

“Lena!! You’re here!” She cried out softly, tears filling her eyes at once as she held both her hands up. I moved to hug her but my mind stayed on the man near the bed, his sultry feline eyes trained unblinkingly on her. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to get my breathing to regulate but it was impossible.

What on earth was Yoongi doing here?

“Mr. Min came to see me. He told me he knew Daehwan.” Jisoo said softly, looking sad but hopeful and I felt my heart turn over as I turned to stare at him.

Min Yoongi knew Daehwan as a target . A hit he had carried out himself.

But I couldn’t say a thing. Not in front of Jisoo.

“I’m only here to offer my help. It pains me to see you suffering, Jisoo. I know your husband would want you to be taken care of.” He said softly, his gaze still fixed on her and I didn’t like it. At all.

Bile rising, I gave him a glare.

“I’ll take care of her. Please don’t trouble yourself.” I said shakily and he glanced at me, lips parting a bit, turning into a smirk.

“You look… well rested.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Lena, come on… I know all this…this must be expensive. We can use all the help we can get and Mr. Min-“

“Please call me Yoongi, sweetheart.” Yoongi said charmingly and my sister in law blushed. I felt my skin crawl.

“Y-Yoongi said he has a spare room. I can’t stay in the bakery.  And it’s not like he’s a murderer or anything. He showed me his card. He’s a lawyer.” She said softly and I sighed in despair. Jisoo was naïve bordering on stupid and I wasn’t equipped to deal with this.

As I watched she went back to the food, eating ravenously and I felt my heart clench. I could see the twin damp spots at her chest and I noticed the breast pump on the table. It looked brand new. I hadn’t even thought about things she may need after the baby, too preoccupied with all the hospital bills and medicines I would have to pay for.

Diapers. Baby wipes. Those little flannel pieces mothers used to wipe down the baby. I felt my head spin, turning to Yoongi who was staring at me casually.

“Can we talk?” I said quietly and he straightened.

“Jisoo ssi… Please enjoy your meal. And here…” He gave her his phone. “ If you’re done, just give me a buzz on this.” He showed her something on the phone .” Go on try it.”

Jisoo pressed down on the screen curiously and Yoongi’s watch rang .

He grinned as she smiled.

“See? One touch and I’ll be here yeah?” He said softly, and I felt like I was stuck in some kind of drama, glancing between the pair of them.

“Are you leaving?” She asked curiously and he shook his head.

“I’ll be right here, outside. Having a word with Elena. You can finish your food and I’m guessing it’s time for you to pump again? The pediatrician said you’d have to pump every two hours with the milk so… if you get it ready, I’ll drop it off at the NICU.” He said calmly.

Jisoo nodded, staring at him with wide eyed gratefulness and I sighed in despair.

Yoongi moved to the door and I gave her a small smile before following him.

I waited till the door had closed behind me before turning to him, furious.

“What do you think you’re-“

“I want her.” He said shortly.

I felt my jaw come unhinged.

“No.” I hissed, furious and helpless with rage. “ Yoongi-“

“Don’t make me put a bullet in your head for this, Elena.” He said calmly and I exhaled shakily.

“She’s… You know she’s not like us. She doesn’t know anything about this life. As far as she knows my brother was a surgeon who got killed in a hit and run. You want to …. What do you really want? Did Jungkook put you upto this?”

“If Jungkook would have his way, your sister in law and your new nephew would both be dead. You know this.” Yoongi said casually. God, could I ever have a conversation with anyone without Jungkook being dragged into it? When did my life get twined so intimately with him?

“Where is he?” I asked quickly and Yoongi shrugged.

“He’s out of the country. He left an hour ago.”

“Switzerland….” I said before thinking and Yoongi stiffened.

“How did you know?” He demanded and I froze.

“I… I overheard …..someone.” I muttered and Yoongi moved so fast I barely caught it. The next second I was pressed up against the wall, his forearm pressing into my throat and holding me down while he held a knife right against my jugular.

“Nice try. Now the truth.” He hissed.

“Ouch..” I choked out , coughing  a bit. “ Fine.. Hoseok.. Hoseok told me.”

Yoongi pulled back.

“You fukcing him?” He asked casually and I glared at him.

“none of your business.” I snapped.

He laughed at that.

“I know you aren’t. Hoseok loves his dick too much to risk having it castrated.”

I sighed, shaking my head. I wasn’t here to talk about these bastards.

“Just leave Jisoo alone.” I said quietly and Yoongi sighed.

“What are you going to do with her, Elena. You can barely afford to feed yourself. You should be thankful I’m taking her off your hands.”

I ignored his nonsense and moved till I was pressed up against him, fingers curling into his chest. Yoongi looked surprised, lips twisting in displeasure when I blinked up at him.

“please.. Yoongi…” I begged, “ Don’t do this to me.” I said quietly. “ I … she’s all I have… She… My brother had nothing to do with any of this. You know that….He left this life decades ago. I don’t… I don’t know why Jungkook wanted him dead in the first place. I loved my brother and my brother loved his wife. I owe it to him … Please…just…Please leave her alone.” I whispered softly, letting my fingers drop to grip his arm.  

He tugged his arm away at once.

“ She needs more than empty platitudes and good intentions. She needs food and a place to stay with her baby. I’m giving her that.”

“And what do you get in return?” I demanded angrily. “ She just gave birth, fuck you. You can’t touch her , not unless you’ve lost the last shreds of humanity in that conscience of yours.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I’m not doing this for sex, Elena. If I wanted easy pussy, I would have come to you…” He smirked.  “ Don’t forget that Jungkook and I share our toys, yeah?”

I opened my mouth to retort before remembering that I was trying to get him to listen to him.

“Then why? What do you want…tell me?”

“I told you. I want her. As she is.” Yoongi shrugged.

“You killed her husband.” I said , voice shaking as I remembered what Jungkook had said. About my brother begging for his life because Jisoo was pregnant. And how Yoongi hadn’t given a shit and shot him anyway.

“A minor inconvenience. Trust me if I’d seen her before I killed him…” He sighed, shaking his head in regret and I frowned.

“You would have spared him? “ I asked bitterly and Yoongi laughed.

“No.. I would have killed him sooner.” He smirked. “ Is there a point to this whole conversation… I’m getting bored and Jisoo’s waiting inside.”

“We’re supposed to get her out of the hospital today and-“

“I’m taking her home.” He said briskly. “ I’ve already spoken to her. And She’s agreed that a ramshackle , dilapidated bakery isn’t the right place for a new mother and a tiny baby.”

And the worst part was that I couldn’t even disagree.

And I couldn’t help but feel angry, betrayed. Jisoo was…. How could she? She hadn’t even bothered to talk to me about it… Just agreeing to move in with Yoongi. She was older than me. Supposed to be the smart one. My body ached. If that was the bed she was going to make , she could lie on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Going somewhere?” Jungkook’s voice made me freeze.

I swallowed, straightening and stepping back almost instinctively. He stood in the doorway, a cigarette held between his teeth as he stared at me . He looked like he’d showered as well, hair still damp and the smells of citrus and mint permeating the air around him.

It was exactly ten days since I’d last seen him and I’d settled into a routine of sorts. Im Jaebum’s bar, Venom was an exclusive club in Itaewon and I could easily disappear into the shadows, staying low and using the beret ( a part of the uniform ) to keep my face hidden as I served the patrons. Like Hoseok had said, the place was filled with cops and lawyers. Yoongi was a frequent fixture here , stopping for just a drink on most days before heading home to my sister in law.

It made me sick but there was nothing I could do about it. Jisoo and little baby Yunsu were both home and needed a l,ot of care. And Yoongi apparently had a cook, a housekeeper and a nanny who helped her out. Jisoo was wary, her senses finally returning but she was also clearly glad to be out of the streets.

“I’m going home after I finish my shift. “ I said softly, trying not to stare as he stepped into the room. I turned away from him moving to the shelves and pushing the small canister in place.

“Where’s home?” He asked casually. I flinched when he stepped right behind me, fingers reaching out to curl on my shoulder, pulling me back till I was flush against his chest. The heat of his body seeped in through the thin fabric of my blouse and I felt my body heat up.

“You got what you wanted.” I said shakily. “ Let me go.” I whispered, dropping the cleaning cloth in the tray on the lower shelves, before moving to grab the mop. I just had to finish mopping the floor . And then I could leave.

But his grip on me stayed firm. I couldn’t move. Foreboding rose inside me.

Jungkook hummed at that, stepping closer, till I felt his chin brush the top of my head as he bent over me, arms coming around me  and fingers lightly unbuttoning the first two buttons of my  shirt. I stared at the dark ink on his forearm. , swallowing as he kept coming closer.

“What I wanted? That pathetic little display ten days ago?”  He whispered softly “ Just think about this Elena ……  I’ve been chasing you for years, I got rid of your entire family and yet I let you live. Why do you think that was, huh? “ He shook his head, “ For two minutes of you lying underneath me like a frigid bitch? You think that’s what I want Elena? Think I’ll be satisfied with that? ” He laughed.

I stared at the wall in front of me  and I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t play this sick game with him. Not when he kept changing the rules . Not when there was nothing left for me to gamble or lose.

“Jisoo. I have to go see her. Just… Just let me go see her. I need to see if she’s alright and then we can talk. ” I whispered. Jungkook smiled, tilting my  head to the side with his fingers. I felt the damp press of his lips against my jaw and my skin crawled.

“Don’t worry, Yoongi’s taking care of her.” He whispered softly and I felt my heart turn over in my chest at the reminder. I’d been forced to relent because Yoongi had taken her home to a fully finished and decorated nursery , a closet full of baby clothes for her son and nursing clothes for her. She had been bowled over and when I’d told her to think about the why of it…she’d given me a helpless sort of smile. . As far as she was concerned , Yoongi had been nothing but generous and kind… And she wasn’t going to say no to him because she couldn’t afford to..

“I… he promised me he’d let me see her. And the baby…every day. That was the deal.”

Jungkook laughed.

“I thought I made this clear . You don’t get to make deals with anyone because you belong to me. I get to decide what happens to you. Anytime. Anywhere. Do you need another demonstration , Elena?” His hand moved to my breast, groping the flesh, fingers rough and hard and I whimpered in pain.

“No..” I choked out , eyes widening in terror and he made quick work of the rest of the buttons on my blouse. Junkook hummed, kissing the back of my neck and slowly turning me around in his arms.

“Relax. You don’t have a job. How are you going to feed her and the kid? Yoongi isn’t like me. He doesn’t hold a lot of grudges. And for some reason he seems to have a hard on for your sister in law. He wants to marry her. ” He chuckled and I felt nausea bloom.

“No.. Don’t… Don’t do that to her. She’s not like us. She doesn’t know… She doesn’t have anything to do with this life.” I begged, heart racing at the thought of Jisoo, helpless and scared and alone with a baby , trapped with a fucking assassin. Yoongi killed for a living . That was his job. Jisoo was delicate and sensitive.

“She still needs to eat and live right? With what?  He’s feeling particularly generous so he’s taken her home . You don’t have to worry about them anymore… Isn’t that nice?” he smirked and I felt my throat go dry.

I clenched my fists, feeling my breath catch.

“The only person you need to worry about yourself is yourself. Isn’t that how you prefer it anyway? Beautiful selfish Elena who never gave a fuck about anyone but herself. Isn’t that who you truly are, angel?” He smiled.

“Not anyone…. Just you… I don’t give a fuck about you.” I said defiantly, staring right up at him.  

Jungkook stared at me and stepped closer, reaching out and running his fingers up and down my cheek. I flinched because he still held the lit cigarette.

“None at all?”  He asked curiously, lightly tapping on the end of the cigarette, and I flinched when the hot ash spilled onto my shoulder.

“Did that hurt, baby?” He whispered, leaning in and pressing the cigarette to my lips.” I’m sorry. Breathe in for me.” He stuck the cigarette into my mouth and I pulled away , coughing and disgusted.

I closed my eyes as his free hand went to my wrist, tugging me closer. I stiffened as he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me in till my face pressed against his chest, his body flush against mine, one hand moving back to stroke my back.

“I missed you. You’re terrible at pleasing me but I think…with a little bit of training, you can make me cum… ” He smirked. “ Let’s start with a blowjob, yeah?”

I stiffened.

“No.” I said softly and he smirked, pulling back.

“No?” He asked softly. . I felt my throat go dry in fear as I noticed the way his gaze shifted.   I bit my lips to stifle the pain as He carefully pressed the lit end of the cigarette right against the curve of my breast , pressing in for a couple of seconds and pulling away just before the skin began to singe. He glanced up at me, and I blinked through the tears, pain spreading all over my chest at the burn. That would leave a scar, I thought miserably.

“Wrong answer. Try again.” He whispered.

“Go to Hell.” I choked out.

I flinched when his fingers slipped up into my hair, gripping hard. My scalp burned, sharp and insistent and instinct made me grip his wrist, trying to get him off but it was impossible.

“Let me go..” I snapped, glaring at him. God, How I hated him.

“Was I your first??” He whispered, dragging me close enough that his lips brushed my ear. “ Never had a cock before? Was that why you were so fucking tight?”

I bit my lips, glaring at him, defiant and furious. Did Hoseok actually tell him? That two faced snake…. God , why did these fuckers never leave me alone?

“Seokjin hyung told me…Told me he was looking forward to breaking a virgin and that made me think….God, I was the first cock she ever had….” He hummed, looking infinitely pleased.

“Yes. And I got to say… I don’t know what the fuss is about. You couldn’t even make me cum.” I snapped and Jungkook grinned, grip tightening and the other hand moving to curl around my waist, squeezing hard.

“Did I make you bleed from between your legs Elena? Tell me I did….Cause that’s fucking hot. ” He whispered, voice low and gruff.

Jungkook, I thought vacantly, was a psychopath.

“Go to Lisa. Go fuck her and make her bleed if that’s what gets you off….  and leave me alone.” I whispered and he smiled, bending down pressing a kiss right where he’d burned my skin.

“I don’t need you to tell me that. She’s my fiancé. The woman I’m going to marry. And you know what that means? I actually give a shit whether she cums or not. And trust me she does. Multiple times. Sometimes so hard she passes out.”

“Or maybe she fakes it. Maybe she passes out because she can’t stand your touch either.” I shrugged. “ Because we all know that’s what she’s good at Jungkook. She faked her friendship with me , she’ll fake her loyalty to you.”

“Always got something smart to say, huh Elena? Let’s see how mouthy you get when I’m shoving my cock down your throat.”

I flinched when he pushed me, hard enough to send me sprawling on the floor. I caught myself with difficulty , throwing my hands out to keep my head from hitting the floor. I flinched at the pain that shot up my body, every inch throbbing because of how rough this fucker had been with me.

Ten days and the aftermath of that night still lingered on me.

And it was three in the morning  and I’d spent eight hours on my feet bussing tables , I was exhausted.

I closed my eyes, before pressing my palm against the floor, trying to pull myself up when I felt the press of his shoe at the base of my spine, pushing me down.

I whimpered in shock, my hands giving out and shoulder crashing down into the floor.

“Stay down for a second, baby.” He whispered and I exhaled.

I pressed my palm against the floor, head dropping on to the carpeted floor . I whimpered when I felt him crouch down, foot digging in harder into my back and I curled my fingers into the carpet to swallow the pained sound that bubbled up in my throat.

“I’m going to fuck you again. And this time I want you to do all the work.” Jungkook’s voice came from over me and I flinched. I considered the odds of me putting up a fight and actually winning. It was laughable. I wasn’t going to fight a force of nature. And that was what Jeon Jungkook was.

“ You can’t make me do anything Jungkook.” I whispered finally. “ You can hit me and rape me and kill me but you can’t make me do anything to you. You just have to live with that.”

His foot lifted off my spine and I felt hands on my arms, pulling me up till I was kneeling. I watched as he moved around to stand in front of me.

“Look at me.” He said carefully.” From now you only speak when I tell you to.”

“ Whatever.  Let’s get this over with so I can go see my sister and my nephew.“ I said shakily.

He sighed deeply at that, shaking his head.

“See, if it was upto me, I’d just put a bullet in both their heads. Cos at this point they’re just proving to be a nuisance.”

My blood turned to ice in my veins.

“ But,  Yoongi’s just getting to know your pretty little Jisoo…And he’s my favorite hyung. So I’m going to let her live. But, let’s not invade their privacy for a while.” He began unbuckling his belt and I felt nausea rise inside me.

“Jungkook?” The voice came from the door and I stiffened.  Jungkook groaned.

“Baby, what the fuck are you doing here?” He said gruffly, standing up and using his knee to push me out of the way roughly. I swore, gripping the edge of the table near me to steady myself before turning around to stare at the woman at the door.  I stumbled to my feet, still feeling a little out of it. I needed food. Before I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

“You were supposed to come see me tonight. I went looking for you everywhere and I find you here about to get with some common whore?”  she shouted and I stiffened, glaring at her.

She stood framed in the doorway, staring at me for a second before letting her gaze wander all over the room. She stared at me, eyes taking in the unbuttoned blouse and I quickly moved to put the buttons back on.

“Did you fuck her?” She demanded angrily and Jungkook hummed.

“Since when did I owe you answers, angel?” He asked casually and I watched the woman’s eyes widen, before her brows furrowed in a frown.

“ So what, I can’t ask you who you’re with ?” She asked angrily and Jungkook groaned , kicking out at the nearest stand with enough force to send it toppling over the side, crashing to floor and breaking on impact. I stumbled, back, wrapping my arms around myself as he fairly growled.

“What the fuck is up with all you cunts today?” He demanded, glancing at me in distaste. “ I come back after busting my ass at work for ten entire days . I just needed to get my dick sucked and you two.” He shook his head, hand reaching into his jacket and I felt my eyes widen when he pulled his glock out, releasing the safety and loading the gun before pressing the muzzle right against her skull.

The woman whimpered, hands held up as he tapped the firearm against her.

“You. You don’t come anywhere near me unless I send for you. Is that clear?” He asked sharply and she nodded frantically, abject terror written all over her face.

He turned to me.

“And you. You’re coming with me.” He said quietly and I felt my eyes widen. I opened my mouth to protest but the girl at the door beat me to it.

“I think not…. You’re not taking her anywhere, Jungkook, I’ll-“ She began, reaching forward to grab him and Jungkook moved so quickly, I could barely blink.

The shot rang out , making me jump and I watched as she crumbled to the floor, crying out in pain. I stared in horror, watching the hole in her arm, spilling blood all over the floor and the hallway and my throat went completely dry,  staring at the girl on the floor and the blank, absolutely merciless look on his face.

“Just because I let you sit on my cock once in a while, doesn’t mean you get a say in how I live my life.” He said quietly, using his foot to prod her hip. He glanced at me and I felt my throat go dry as he pulled the glock back to reload it.

He aimed the gun right at me, eyes dark and heavy.

“Are you going to be good for me, baby? Or do you need a physical demonstration as well?” He tilted his head to where the girl was on the floor, pressing her palm against her arm.

“She’s  bleeding out.. “ I choked out. “ you need to get her help, Jungk-“

Another shot rang out and I jumped, heart in my throat as I tried to understand what had happened. It took me a second to realize that he hadn’t shot me. That he had fired at the ceiling.

“Answer the bloody question Elena.” He growled and I flinched, nodding.

“I… I’ll listen… Just…” I glanced back at the poor girl on the floor.” Get her some help.”

Jungkook smiled a little. He turned to the girl on the floor and shook his head.

“Get up baby. Go find Hoseok and get that patched up, yeah? And don’t provoke me the next time, yeah? ” He said casually and she stumbled to her feet, looking disoriented and scared as she moved out of the door.

“ And you. “ He glared at me. “Finish dressing up and follow me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are we going?” I asked nervously, fighting the instinct to just take off at a sprint, as we walked down the road to where his Mercedes was parked.

“My home. Where else?” He said casually and I stiffened.

“Jungkook-“

“Didn’t I tell you not to speak unless I ask you to, Elena? I’m jet lagged and angry. Trust me , you don’t want to piss me off now.” He said casually and I swallowed.

He opened the door for me, the polite gesture so at odds with what he was doing that my head began to throb.

But I climbed in nonetheless. I stayed quiet for the short ride to his apartment , eyes fixed straight ahead and Jungkook was quiet too. I was too exhausted to be scared, I thought despondently, my eyes drooping because of how long I’d been up. Glancing out the window, I watched the cars whizz by, people living their lives, completely unaware that almost all of them were merely tiny little gears in a machine run exclusively by men like Jungkook. That all their lives, spent working and earning and dying…it was all meaningless. They had no say in anything. People like Jungkook were the ones who got to shape the world to their liking. The ones who got to play God.

And Jungkook was definitely the closest to an omnipotent human I’d ever come across.

Powerful, untouchable and terrifying.

So perhaps, it was a little flattering, that I was the one thing he couldn’t get out of his head.

I glanced at him discreetly.

He was beautiful, I thought with a pang. One of the most beautiful men on this planet. Despite the years, his boyish charm was still right there on his face and he could slip on a plaid shirt , a white t shirt and stone wash jeans and pass off as an innocent college student. I stared at the taut jaw, the long column of his neck and the broad back. His biceps bulged when he gripped the steering when and my eyes lingered on the long fingers curled around the wheel.

I jumped when his hand moved to grip the stick shift , curling on the knob and yanking it back with force. I swallowed, thighs pressing together as my mind shifted to that night in Hoseok’s club. I hated myself for how often I relived it. And not always with disgust.

My fingers fell on the ring on his finger. His engagement ring, I thought with a pang. Lisa. Beautiful, wonderful Lisa who had been a dear friend . Once. For all her shortcomings I knew she loved the man who sat next to me. Cared deeply for him, even. Why else would she do this to me? She must have strong feelings for him , if  it had prompted her to throw away our friendship of over a decade.

“You’re cheating on her then.” I said quietly.  His reminder to not talk to him rang in my head but I couldn’t stop myself. He wasn’t a stranger. And that ring…the ring that promised to bind two people forever….. I’d worn it too. For him.

Jungkook didn’t reply, merely glancing at me in passing.

I sighed, looking at my knees, feeling my shoulders tremble a bit.

“Is she going to be there?” I asked quietly.

He exhaled sharply. I noticed the way his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“No.”  He said shortly.

“She lives with you right? You said we’re going home ….then where is she-“

“What is this, twenty fucking questions?” He snapped and I swallowed. “ I’m not taking you home to my fiancée Elena, do I look like a fucking idiot? “ He shook his head.

Before I could demand more answers, he was pulling over into a side alley. I watched as he carefully parked the car before stepping out.  Second later, he was coming around and opening the door.

I stared at him, gripping the hem of my blouse, tight. My stomach twisted into knots.

“Can’t you just let me go?” I whispered softly, pride forgotten in the wake of my tiredness. Jungkook stared at me, face eerily blank.

“Get out of the car.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Like it?” He asked softly and I stood on the threshold, taking in the lavishly decorated apartment on the top floor of the building. I noticed the portrait right up front, a large full sized photo of me and Jungkook from nearly a decade ago, wrapped around each other in a hug , showing off our engagement bands.

“What is this?”

“It was supposed to be your wedding gift. From me. I bought it for you. Nine years ago. Thought you should see it.” He said quietly.

I stayed perfectly still , as he wrapped his hands around me in a hug.

“Why did you leave me, Elena?” He asked quietly and I felt my throat go dry.

“Why do you still have this place? Get rid of it.” I snapped. He laughed at that , pulling away and turning me around till I stared at him.

“ Will you stay here, with me?” He asked softly and I froze.

“You’re out of your mind.” I said shortly.

He hummed.

“Possibly. But then, the problem is this. If I tell you , you can’t leave this place ever again….There’s not much you can do about it, right?” He said thoughtfully and I felt a sob building in my chest.

“I… Don’t.” I said shakily.

“You should see the bedroom. Come.”

His fingers wrapped around my wrist dragging me past the lavish couch and sofa, past a well kept bar onto a wide hallway dimly lit. He stopped at the second door on the right, reaching out to open the lock.  The room was plunged in darkness and I hesitated.

“Go on… After you, Mrs. Jeon.” He said softly . I could feel distaste creeping up my spine at the name, shivering a bit as I stepped into the darkness.

“Can you imagine, if we’d gotten married. This is what our first night together would be like…” He pressed against my back, arms coming around me , so gentle that I shivered.

“Jungkook…what are you doing?” I asked shakily.

“Shush…. “ He whispered, moving to unbutton my blouse again. I grabbed his wrists quickly.

“We aren’t married. I’m not your wife.” I said sharply and I felt him go still behind me.

“Shut your mouth and play along like a good girl.” He said quietly. He shook my hands off, moving to undo the buttons again.

Not sure what he expected, I stayed perfectly still as he hummed, pressing soft feather light kisses down my jaw and past my shoulders. His hands stroked up and down my arm as he laughed .

“Did you miss me Elena…..all these years…” He said quietly. “ Because I missed you. So much.”

He hugged me close, tight and hard.

“Are you scared?” He whispered, “ honey?”

“Oh, God…” I choked out, nausea rising up in my throat at the endearment.

“My wife…” He whispered, pressing a few more kisses against my skin before pushing me a bit towards the bed. “ Should I turn on the lights? I wanna see you.”

He nudged me towards the bed and my legs gave out when I hit the edge of it, legs turning to jelly as I sat on it, shaky and creeped out and terrified. Jungkook moved to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, a soft golden glow lighting up the bed .

“Look at you… so beautiful.” He whispered and I watched as he tugged off his shirt, before moving to his belt. He was watching me like I was something precious. Like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“What are you doing?” I asked quietly and he smiled, running his fingers over the tattoos decorating his chest. He stopped at a large ornate tiger lily, inscribed right over his heart.

“Do you like it?” he said softly. “ I got this for you. My Elena…. As delicate as a lily and as brave as a tiger.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“Either fuck me or let me go, I’m not here to talk about-“

He slapped me, so hard that my head whipped to the side, my face feeling like it had caught fire. I gasped, the pain spreading all over my jaw and I couldn’t quite grasp what had just happened. I pressed shaky fingers to the throbbing skin near my mouth, eyes watering at the sting.

“Didn’t I tell you to play along, angel?” He whispered sharply and I closed my eyes , shuddering.

Play along. Do it if you want to get out of here alive. ‘

Fucking psychopath.

“ It’s beautiful, Jungkook.” I whispered softly, glancing at him with teary eyes. He nodded.

“We’ll get one for you too. A wolf. With the initials JK on it…. Right here…” He lightly traced a path over my collarbone and I hoped to God, this was some sick fantasy. That he wasn’t seriously considering tattooing his initials on me.

“Strip for me baby… All of it. I want to see you.” He whispered and I hesitated just long enough to take a deep breath. I reached back, quickly undoing my bra clasp and pulling the fabric off.  I hooked my thumbs into my skirt and my panties, tugging both of them off me, swiftly. I dropped all of it on the floor next to the bed, before moving to kneel in the middle of the bed, staring at him with a smile that felt physically painful.

“I’m going to make you feel good, baby.” He whispered quietly, crawling over on top of me.

“Lay down for me.” He said, and I felt repulsed, as he kissed my lips, soft and gentle, pressing in till I was flat on my back, legs parted so he could lie in between.

It was so different from last time and somehow ten times worse.

Jungkook pressed kisses all over my face, whispering gentle words against my skin that felt like acid.

“So beautiful…. Mine. You were always mine Elena. Mine to touch and mine to break . Mine to love and mine to fuck.”

I stared as he loomed over, his face inches from mine, his gaze deceptively affectionate, his eyes warm and almost soft. I watched as he came closer, his lips closing over mine. Instinctively I kept my lips together but his fingers curled around my thigh, squeezing hard enough to make me whimper, lips parting . He pressed his tongue in then , licking into my mouth and I brought my hands up, instinctively wrapping around the bare skin of his shoulders and my body thrummed at the feeling of his muscles under my fingers.

Curiosity made me foolish, and I found myself tracing the hills and valleys of his skin, fascinated by the way the muscles flexed, every time he moved his arm.

“You like that? I worked hard on those…” He chuckled, watching me curl my fingers around his biceps. He was so… big. I moved my fingers up to the hardness of his chest, splaying my palm on his pecs and my fingers caught a hard little scar, almost perfectly round and deep.

“What is this…” I asked , curious my finger dipping into the healed skin and he hummed.

“Your father . He shot me when I was chasing his car down in Jeju Do. Foolish bastard. Thought he could outrun me.” He laughed .

I glanced at him, catching his eyes and the ebbing laughter , my heart twisting.

“Then why am I here? You hate my father. You killed my entire family. So why am I here, Jungkook?”  I asked foolishly, my heart breaking a bit and he hesitated.

“Because you’re mine.” He said simply.

I closed my eyes in despair.

“If this was our wedding night…. What would you say…?” He asked suddenly.

I stared at him, confused.

“What?”

“If we got married back then… When you were eighteen. And it was our first night together….. what would you say?”

I sighed.

“I’d ask you to ….to be gentle.” I whispered.

He nodded.

“Tell me , then.”

I stared at him, feeling helpless.

“Go on, Elena.” He said again.

“Jungkook…” I began but he shook his head.

“Ggukkie.” He said softly. “ Call me GGukkie… That’s what you used to call me …when we were young.”

I clenched my fists, on his chest, resisting the urge to push him off. That wouldn’t end well for me.

“GGukkie…” I whispered, finally, glancing up at him, licking my lips and parting them gently, eyes as wide as they could go, “ you know its my first time right?”

Jungkook’s eyes fairly danced at that and he hummed, leaning closer.

“Is it, baby?” He asked, reaching up to brush my hair away, fingers gentle on my face.

Get into it. Get into it and get it over with.

“You know it is…” I pouted, “ No one else can touch me. I’m yours , aren’t I GGukkie…”

He laughed, rubbing his nose against mine.

“That you are, kitten.”

Kitten? That’s a new one.

Shut up and stay in character , fuck.

I was so fucking screwed.

“ So… will you be gentle?” I whispered , “ I don’t want it to hurt.”

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me rolling over and taking me with him till I was lying flat on top of him.

“Then how about this angel? You can ride me…. As slow and gentle as you like. Make yourself feel good on my cock, yeah….?”

I stared at him.

I’m gonna fuck you and you’re going to do all the work.

He’d played me like a fiddle.

“Well baby? Go on…. Take my pants off.”

I exhaled angrily, before moving down, to tug on his pants. He helped me take them off kicking off his boxer briefs as well.

That’s a beautiful dick. Objectively. Very pretty.

Shut the fuck up.

“ Get it wet for me baby….” He said softly. I glanced down at the hard length of it, jutting out of the small thatch of hair and felt my mouth go dry . Which would be counterproductive if I wanted to get it wet. So I swirled my tongue around my mouth, trying to get my mouth moist, before leaning down and carefully wrapping my lips around the head.

Fuck, he tastes good.

I shook my head a bit to clear the voice in my head, glancing up at him with my lips stretched around the soft pink head and he was looking right back at me, eyes heavy and dark .

“Go on baby, take more of it in, use your tongue…make me feel good.”

I closed my eyes, letting the spit coat the hard length of his cock, sinking down till the tip began to inch down my throat. I sucked lightly, running my tongues back and forth on whatever skin I could touch and it was like sucking a lollipop except the lollipop was thick enough to stretch my mouth wide and hit the back of my throat.

I felt his hand reach into my hair, gripping hard and I whimpered.

“Be gentle…” I whispered, pulling off and his eyebrows shot up , clearly in surprise . He stared at me for a second, as though considering my request and then his fingers loosened , threading through the strands soothingly.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered . I went back to sucking him off, somehow my natural tendency to work hard making me bob up and down, using my tongue and taking him as deep as I could. I felt a sick sort of satisfaction when he moaned in pleasure and for some damn reason I wanted to draw more sounds out of him.

This is a dream. Either that or you tripped over a pothole and fell into another dimension.

“ Are you wet ? Come here, so I can check….” Jungkook said softly and I pulled off moving up to straddle his hips. I flinched when he reached down, tracing my slit with carefully fingers before slipping in two. I tightened against the intrusion, still sore on the inside and he pulled his fingers out, bringing them up to my mouth.

“Suck…and get them nice and wet if you don’t want it to hurt.” He said quietly and I wrapped my lips around his fingers, letting my spit coat the slender digits.

When he pushed them back into me, the slide was easier , wetter and I gripped his shoulders, trying to relax around him. It felt foreign but also good… I felt good…

I stared down at him, the broad muscled body and the handsome face and for a crazy moment I imagine what it would have been, if I had married him. Would it have been this….this… weird pleasure that was somehow both painful and exhilarating at the same time. I bit my lips as he curled his fingers inside me, rubbing at some spot high up inside me that sent heat shooting straight up my spine, slick dripping out of me and onto the hard planes of his stomach like honey from a comb.

“Now sit on my cock.” He said quietly. I trembled, reaching down to lightly grip his cock, moving till the head lined up right against my slit or where I thought my slit was. Biting my lips, I lowered my body, feeling my body cleave to let him in, his cock pressing in and in and in.

My knees gave out and I slid down the length of him, the sudden, incredible fullness knocking the breath right out of me.

“ Fuck…baby….you alright?” He whispered and it messed with my head, the way he actually looked concerned and worried and I couldn’t take anymore of it.

“Please… Please… I just… I want to go home…” I whimpered, feeling full and stretched out, my thighs trembling and my insides wet and warm and somehow stuck between wanting more and wanting it to end.

Jungkook grunted, fingers curling over both my hips and lifting me lightly and with ease.

“Come on baby…. Ride me….” He whispered, “ Put your hands on my chest and roll your hips, up and down .”

I did as he said, one hand braced against his chest, the other gripping his shoulder as I tried to move on him but it was hopeless. I had no energy or inclination to do this and the pleasure was fast ebbing into frustration. Jungkook seemed to sense it because he growled.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking bad at this… Fine… Just lay there and let me use that stupid cunt of yours.” He snapped,  gripping my waist and folding his knees just enough to brace his feet on the bed. I gasped as I got lifted a bit , his cock slipping in impossibly deeper , the tip nudging close to my cervix , the lightest brush of it send sharp jolts of electric pain pleasure up my spine.

“Oh fuck,..” I breathed as he pistoned into me, hips hitting my ass with brutal force as he fucked up into me and I could only tremble, eyes fluttering shut, fingers going numb from how hard I was gripping him.

“You’re gonna cum today… I’m gonna make you cum on my cock…” He growled, reaching down and pressing his thumb against my clit, rubbing softly, slow circles that were almost gentle compared to the brutal pounding oh his hips and I felt my mouth go slack, wetness slipping out of my tongue and dripping down my chin because of how excruciatingly good it felt, having him so deep, pressing in against the edge of my womb and I and to press my palm, right up against my belly , stunned because of how my body seemed to open and shift to make room for him.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, right inside your womb, fuck…. Gonna carry my babies for me, right sweetheart? Gonna watch you get round and full with my seed , watch you drip milk all over me with those beautiful tits….fuck…”

The shock of his words sent me over the edge, my body clenching down on him as I came, my orgasm so strong that I felt like I was cramping up on the inside and I toppled forward onto him, landing on his chest and bouncing a bit. Jungkook grunted a little, wrapping both his arms around me, holding close as he fucked me right through the aftershocks, body stilling only when I stopped shuddering and I felt warm wetness spill inside me, so deep that I knew I would have to swallow three morning after pills after this, although I was on birth control.

Because one could never be too sure with these things.

Jungkook stayed still under me and it took me a few seconds to catch my breath. I finally levered myself off of him, legs shaking as I rolled over and onto the bed before breathing in huge lungfuls of air.

“Can I go?” I choked out.

Jungkook grunted. “ Get the fuck out of here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I stumbled out of the cab, exhausted and out of my mind with self loathing, I didn’t expect to see Hoseok sitting on the pavement outside the bakery, leaning against a streetlight, face warm but determined.

“Hobi?” I asked stunned. “ What are you-“

He cut me off with a kiss.

I stared wide eyed as he pulled me into an embrace, wrapping me in warmth and scent of his cologne, his hands impossibly gentle around me as he all but cradled me against his body, his lips moving gently against mine.

“Elena…” He breathed against my lips, eyes glinting . “ I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years. I’m so fucking sorry for being such a coward but you deserve to know… you deserve to know how I feel about you.”

I stared at him in disbelief, my heart pounding as I punched his chest in desperation.

“No… No fuck you… what are you doing…. He’ll kill you…” I hissed and he tightened his arms around me.

“I don’t care.” He hissed. “ I don’t… I can’t just… I can’t let him hurt you like this. I won’t. I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him to let you go or lose our friendship.” He said angrily and I trembled.  

My heart raced because Hoseok was the only one I’d ever loved. In every way a girl could love a boy. He was and had always been this confusing breed of brother and friend while everyone had drooled after Jeon Jungkook , I’d always been drawn to him…drawn to his quiet strength and to the way he had always treated me as an equal…

But… but Jungkook…. Jungkook who would put a bullet in his brain without a thought if he thought that Hoseok was trying to move in on something that belonged to him…..

“Hoseok…just… Don’t. I… I love you too…” I breathed out, tired and scared and so fucking worried because what if someone was listening even now..what if word got to Jungkook and he tried to hurt ….i couldn’t even think it.

“Come find me when Jungkook is busy . When he can’t find us…” I said softly, reaching out and pressing my palm against his face.

“I’m not scared of him.” Hoseok growled  and it was ridiculous.  

“But I’m scared of losing you. “ I said quickly. “ We can’t… He can’t know. Ever.”

Hoseok nodded before pulling me close again.

“Was he too rough?” He whispered and I blinked, flushing. I shook my head.

“No.. I. No. I think…”

“I hate that he was the one to touch you, first. You.. You deserve to know how good it can be…. How gentle.. I want to… fuck…” He shook his head pulling away and I wrapped my arms around myself.

“We can’t…” I said quietly. “ you know we can’t.”

He glanced at me, eyes blazing and lips parted and I groaned.

“Don’t look at me like that Hobi…” I whispered, shaking my head.

“Tomorrow. He’s going to Jeju Do , to inspect a new resort. He won’t be back till the day after. Call in sick at work.” He said quietly and I bit my lips, feeling a bit like a whole idiot.

I nodded.

He reached forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

No self preservation skills at all, I thought miserably.  

If Jungkook found out…….

Author’s Note : I’ll add the taglist here tomorrow

[tmntxreader-fics]

TMNT Raph x Reader: Implosion

Summary: Anger and sadness are two sides of the same coin, who has a better understanding of that than Raphael?

Requested by Anonymous: Ciao amico! May I please request a platonic Raphael x gn! Reader where they come over to the lair one day and ask if they can borrow the punching bag to let out a lot of pent up anger before that anger gradually turns to sadness and they break down in front of Raph, and it turns out the anger was directed at their old landlord who sold their childhood home, forcing them to move away and Reader is just really tired and homesick. Comfort ensues, maybe some soft Raph?

A/N: THIS FIC IS LITERAL T R A S H IM SO SORRY I CANNOT PHYSICALLY EXPLAIN HOW BAD MY WRITING IS IN THIS 

Warnings: Cursing, Angst and typos.

The new apartment smells like rotting wood.

Aerosols, candles, diffusers, air refreshers- nothing fucking works. It's not as if that's the only issue, if only it were. There's the bathroom, the shower head leaks. The carpet in your room has staples to hold it.

The window doesn't lock.

The air conditioner spits out dust.

The kitchen shelves wobble.

This place is a structural nightmare and while you can bandaid the shower, step carefully in the bedroom and be cognisant of where you store your groceries- the fucking smell never goes away.

"Stupid fucking landlord," you mutter as you unpack this weeks shopping. "Stupid, stupid fucking idiot."

It's not as if you chose this place for yourself, being forcefully evicted from your home doesn't leave you with many options. If you had your way you would've fought to keep the house. You were born there, you had been raised there and your intent was to die there.

Not in this shack that's likely to kill you before you even manage to reach old age.

Reaching the bottom of the bag, you lean down to pack the last of the items. You were better off living in a shared house, it's cheaper and at least there's joint maintenance.

Before you can finish pondering your options for the eighth time today, a clatter and a searing pain in your foot interjects.

"You're joking."

The drawer you had opened and all of its contents are now haphazardly sprawled out across your feet.

Dropping everything in your hands you take a step back and stare.

And stare.

And stare.

"I'm coming over."

"Desperate to see me?

"I need your punching bag."

You glare at the familiar alley way, gritting your teeth at the darkness stretched out ahead. You've always hated this road, anything could be waiting in the shadows for an unsuspecting victim. It's not as though your fears are unfounded, it's not as though it hasn't happened to you.

There's a short silence, "you know my shit's yours too, when are you coming?"

"Now."

"I'm on my way."

You'd usually ask one of the brothers to wait for you by the grate, just to make sure it's clear. Of course they'd make fun of you, or at least Raph would, but you'd rather the brunt of his amusement than being snatched by one of his enemies. Again.

This time, it seems, Raph is late.

But you're not going to wait on him.

You push forward and the shadows consume you, swallowing sight and security. You’re not afraid, you can’t be. Not when such fury simmers beneath your skin. Not when you’re so volatile. 

Gripping the grate by the handle, you heave backwards. The scraping of metal on cement is both familiar and torturous. The smell that wafts up is even more so. 

At least it’s not the smell of rotting wood. 

You begin the climb down the ladder, ignoring the moisture spread across the iron. The pungent scent of the sewer never gets less disgusting, no matter how many times you’re exposed to it. 

“Couldn’t wait, huh?” 

Your heart leaps into your throat and in the next moment there’s the sensation of falling. 

A strong hand presses against the small of your back, keeping you suspended mid fall. There’s a pregnant pause as you catch your breath but you don’t say anything as you reach for the ladder and neither does he. 

With shaky legs you touch down on solid ground and look up at the grate. 

“How were you plannin’ on closing that?” 

You turn to scowl at him, taking in his shadowed image. There’s splatters of chalk across Raph’s cheek and smeared along his thighs. You assume he had been in the middle of a gym session and an intense one at that.

He clears his throat, ducking his head a little beneath your heavy gaze. “I’ll do it.” 

___

Upon arrival to the lair, you bee-line straight for the bag in his gym.

Raph watches you warily from behind, you’d barely spoken a word to him the entire way there. It’s unlike you and he hates the uncertainty. There’s no safe way for him to approach this and he’s not exactly the most comforting figure in the household. 

For a brief second he considers calling for back up. Leo, maybe? His level-headed nature soothes Mikey when he’s having a rough bout of sadness. 

A sharp grunt resounds across the top floor and Raph immediately quashes the idea of his brother. 

You aren’t just sad, you’re angry.  

He can help with that. 

But first, he needs to get you to talk. 

___ 

“Why’re you being a moody dick?” Raph snarks, leaning against the wall beside you.  

You can feel the amusement rolling off of him in infuriating waves. 

“Fuck off, Raph,” you pant, drilling another right hook into the bag. It absorbs the impact, jolting against the chain it hangs from. 

“You’re punching my bag,” the red-clad turtle reminds you smugly. 

“It’s about to be you in a second,” you snarl. 

He only laughs and somehow that irritates you more. What does he know? He’ll never be forced to leave the lair, and even if he did he’d have his family with him. 

What do you have? 

A shoddy apartment that smells of wood rot. 

Left, right, left, right, left, right. 

The landlord had no right, no fucking right. That was your home, it had been for years. You have nothing else, no one else. You’re a stranger in your own bed, a visitor in your own living room and a guest in your own kitchen. 

Left, right, left, right, left, right. 

You don’t know what to do, what can you do? Someone else made a decision and you have to deal with the consequences. Someone else had the power to turn your life on its head and it’s you job to grin and bear it. 

Left, right, left, right, left, right. 

You just want to sleep a full night without feeling lost. You want to be happy again. You just-

“I want to go home.”

Raph blinks. You’re panting, the words were so breathless he thinks he might have misheard them. 

“What?” He laughs incredulously. 

“I want to go home.” 

He can’t mistake them now. 

“I mean,” he shrugs, uncrossing his arms. “I can take you home if you want-” 

“No,” you snap, chest heaving as you glare up at him. Why doesn’t he understand? Why doesn’t anyone fucking get it? 

His golden gaze narrows instantly. “You got a problem, Short-Stack?” 

The words have an underlying threat beneath them, a barely restrained temper. You don’t care. You don’t care that you’re taking it out on him. You don’t care that it doesn’t make sense. You don’t care that you’re irrational. 

It’s not fair to him but nothing is fair. You’ve learnt that more than anything. 

“I said,” he pushes off the wall, “you got a problem?” 

Squaring your shoulders you open your mouth to respond, to yell. Obscenity after obscenity come to mind but nothing comes of it. Instead, it’s a breathless sob. It starts off small, akin to a hiccup. 

Raph’s eyes widen just as yours do. 

You don’t want to cry. Not here. 

You turn your head and your chest seizes in an attempt to suffocate the noise. Reaching for your bag you curse internally as your vision blurs. You need to leave.  

Before his mind can convince him otherwise he lurches forward. His grip is gentle but unyielding against your wrist. You look back at the fingers wrapped around your arm, then to Raph. 

“Stay,” He blurts, eyes pleading. “You’re okay.”

With that, you exhale shakily.

Then you break. 

But now, somehow, it doesn’t seem so bad. Not when someone is holding you, not when they let you cry. Not when you can see in his eyes that you were wrong and he does understand. 

He always does. 

[k1ngj0ve]

a couple months ago when i started doing my big dethklok rewatch, very slow, my roommate only willing to watch 1 episode every few days, when i was interested but not super gung ho yet

i was dipping my toe into the fandom, just checking the temperature, and was suprised to see a surprising amount of toki/magnus content.

and honestly i was a little judgey! i was thinking 'that man was evil and underdeveloped, whats interesting about him? why would you ship him with toki?'

having FINISHED my big rewatch a couple weeks ago, im now pretty into the idea.

hes underdeveloped for sure, but sometimes having so much fucking EMPTY SPACE is exciting XD i wish desperately hed been around more. i wish that when he met toki in the camp episode he had come back around a couple times-- not just 1 text message exchange and then sitting with toki at the funeral. i wish when they all broke up that toki went to work for magnus briefly. i wish hed brought magnus to the big fancy dinner party. i wish magnus and rockso had had some kind of in-person standoff, where magnus seemed to protect toki, which would later have a secondary meaning when we realize magnus was trying to isolate him from ALL of his friends

(i wish wed gotten him sitting on a couch in mordhaus, relaxing, commenting on how nice their place was and how well theyve done, nathan pickles and skwisgaar being different levels of angry/suspicious/scared but magnus whispering in murderfaces ear, poisoning the well, all to help break dethklok up, so that he really felt like, maybe, he was the 'brains' of the operation like he said he was)

make it a real surprise (but probably mostly vindication from the audience that never trusted him) when he seems to be protecting Toki at the funeral but instead reveals himself as one of the fanatics.

that would all be... so cool

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

how to fake date your best friend | jake sim

✰ summary: the rules were simple -

pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only

no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure 

and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love. 

simple, right?

well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules. 

and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.

✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!] 

✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers

✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)♥

✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k

✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ 

Tuesday, December 8th

Jake Sim lives a simple life. 

He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends. 

Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space. 

But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life. 

And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him. 

He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings. 

They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.

He’s totally not in love with you. 

So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change. 

Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history). 

So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever. 

Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one. 

It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second. 

And that catches us up to the present.

“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table. 

Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all. 

He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking. 

You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense. 

“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.) 

When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue. 

“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?” 

Wrong. 

Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.

Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend. 

(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.) 

But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull. 

Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon. 

Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak. 

Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection. 

If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was. 

Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners. 

How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him. 

For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school) 

In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time. 

And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon. 

Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you. 

Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be. 

That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t. 

Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life. 

And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you. 

“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract. 

Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we? 

“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second. 

“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.” 

Right. Of course. Obviously. 

“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way. 

Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know. 

Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?

Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you. 

Yes, that’s it, just say no. 

Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact. 

Jake does not say no. 

He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another. 

To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart. 

So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.

Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.  

Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.  

Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting. 

How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?  

Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.  

Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea. 

It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you: 

y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake

y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best

y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333

Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture. 

Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world. 

After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right? 

Spoken like a true simp. 

Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously. 

And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all. 

Wednesday, December 9th 

Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well. 

“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist. 

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.” 

Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say. 

“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.

Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself. 

“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...” 

Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good. 

This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often. 

And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush. 

Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment. 

“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking. 

You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers. 

“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun. 

Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table. 

“I’m helping y/n study” 

“I have an important skating performance on Sunday” 

“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)

Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?” 

Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party? 

That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime. 

Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.” 

Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes. 

Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again. 

He then looks to you with puppy eyes. 

You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.

Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you. 

If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that. 

You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought. 

Weird. 

You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest. 

“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.” 

Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no. 

He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party. 

But–

But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.” 

Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.” 

You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you. 

For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay. 

Admittedly cute. 

Thursday, December 10th 

You are having a bad day. 

You’re having the mother of bad days. 

Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due. 

Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms. 

You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse. 

You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about. 

To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.

And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal). 

Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n. 

Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done. 

Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space. 

You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays. 

Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude. 

As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone. 

Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding” 

Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is 

Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? :// 

It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today. 

You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.

y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg

Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home. 

It’s freezing out. You should’ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures. 

You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy. 

You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue. 

You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.” 

Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in. 

“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window. 

“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door. 

Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right? 

“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats. 

“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood. 

You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...

“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.” 

Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?” 

“Touché,” you click your tongue. 

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.  

You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?” 

You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously. 

Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you. 

“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?” 

“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood. 

You nod at his answer. 

“You two make a good couple.” 

You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?

“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.” 

He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen. 

You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say. 

You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.

But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy. 

Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.  

Jake. 

Weird. 

But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.  

"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.  

You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.  

Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.  

Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.  

The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing. 

You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.  

As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.

Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.  

You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.  

And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation. 

You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.  

The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.  

Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–

"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"  

You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.  

You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.  

“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon. 

You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him. 

You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.

“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.

Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you. 

Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.” 

Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.

Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show. 

Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice. 

“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand. 

His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands. 

Hm. A little too familiar. 

Then, it clicks in his head. 

His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?” 

“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.” 

“You’re annoying.” 

“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied. 

After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table. 

“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken. 

You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?” 

Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!” 

You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him. 

The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–

“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice. 

You break out of his trance and scoff at him. 

“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well.  Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you. 

“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.” 

Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence. 

Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute. 

Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.” 

“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name. 

Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place.   “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan. 

You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts. 

You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.” 

Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it. 

“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute. 

He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being. 

Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion. 

“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind. 

“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.” 

Friday, December 11th 

The party does not clear your mind. 

If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school. 

You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood. 

You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway. 

You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––

“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case. 

The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings). 

You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.

You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.

“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.

The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news. 

“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people. 

The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.  

“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap. 

“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously. 

You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive. 

But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you. 

Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth. 

(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.) 

But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons. 

Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no. 

But he sure can be awkward. 

And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him. 

As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you. 

Bless this pure, pure boy. 

Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them. 

“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.” 

Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!” 

“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response. 

Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den. 

"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.

Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.  

"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.” 

Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.

"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."  

Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.

"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?” 

“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap). 

“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.” 

Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake. 

“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement. 

“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.” 

Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth. 

“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now. 

“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.” 

Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him. 

“What do you mean I’m too–” 

Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say. 

Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his. 

You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at. 

Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop. 

When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-

“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him. 

“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.” 

Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing. 

Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened. 

But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.

Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.

He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.

From you. 

He’s screwed. 

Saturday, December 12th 

When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night. 

The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream. 

Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.

And fourth, a buzzing noise. 

Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone. 

After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search. 

Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before. 

y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet? 

y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no

y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up 

jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry 

jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up

y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy? 

y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth

jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao

y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door 

Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts. 

Talk? Outside his door? 

Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down. 

He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less. 

Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however. 

He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch. 

“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is. 

“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue. 

“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?” 

“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you. 

You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home. 

Or was that because it reminded you of Jake? 

“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps. 

You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes. 

The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you. 

Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence. 

But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking. 

But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think. 

Not when it comes to you. 

He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you. 

“Look, I-” 

“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around. 

He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth. 

“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.” 

You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.

Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.

He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.  

“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare. 

"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.” 

Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.

Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help. 

"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.” 

You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.” 

Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.” 

“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away. 

Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.

“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare. 

Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two. 

Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily. 

Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you. 

Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach. 

He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away. 

When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure. 

“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response. 

Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else. 

“Too late.” 

✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’))))) 

[violetlilysunshine]

Make Me - 18+

Friends with Benefits Frat Harry Holland x Female Reader

Requested by @chalametsamour : Desperately yearning for frat!harry with the dialogue prompt “you can be louder than that” bc cockiness is so sexy and im yearning..

WC: 2,759

Warnings: swearing [quite a few f bombs], cocky Harry meets fluffy sweet Harry, quiet reader, pet names [love, my girl, my quiet girl, tiger, darling, baby], cheeky reader and Harry, teasing by both parties, tiny hint of possessive Harry, protected sex [p in v], multiple orgasms [fem receiving], marking [love bites, nail scratches], hint of cockwarming after the deed

A/N: So sorry this has been in my box for two months… and I know you don’t really do Holland stuff anymore but I still hope you like this :)

Also, it’s been a while since I wrote something in full! Hope it’s okay!

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If you are choosing to continue reading below, you are saying that you are 18 years of age or older and therefore are consuming this content at your own risk. Warnings are listed above, so you can consume what you are comfortable with of course. If I find out that you are a minor consuming my 18+ content, you will be blocked and reported.

School is stressful. Everyone knows that. There’s quite a few different ways people choose to relieve stress; some run, others lift weights; some do yoga, others bike. You however have one guaranteed stress reliever - Harry fucking Holland. 

And you say “Harry fucking Holland,” because man does he deserve that name. 

He hit you up last weekend while you were studying for midterms before fall break. He texted saying, “need to relieve some stress yet?” 

You’d scoffed at his cockiness, yet it took everything in you not to answer and focus on studying. He’s been a very good stress reliever in the past and yeah, sure he could help now, but you really needed to focus. 

The next afternoon you got another text: “holding out on me, are you?” 

Again, you kept your head down and focused on the work. Yes, he’s the best lay you ever had, and yes, it would be fun, but you just have to make it through this week. 

And finally on Monday morning, with a nice change of pace he texted, “good luck, you’re gonna crush it!” bringing quite the smile to your face. 

Flash forward to now, you’re walking out of your last test; you let out a deep breath when you exit the stuffy building, the sun feeling nice on your face and giving you a little warmth against the crisp air. You decide to take a nice walk around campus and soak in the nature that you’ve been missing after locking yourself in the library for the past two weeks. 

You rounded the corner toward the grassy space where people usually sat to study outside, or occasionally tossed a frisbee; today you stumbled on a game of soccer going with some of the frat boys. None other than Harry stood at the other end of the field, looking right at you. 

There was a lull in the game, and Harry’s eyes found yours; a smile spread across his face at the sight of you and he quickly started jogging your way. You kept walking slowly, getting a bit closer to him but letting him do most of the work. 

“Oi! Where’re you going?” one of his friends called as he jogged past them.

He turned around and continued to jog backwards yelling, “catch you later, mate!” 

He finally fell in step beside you, his shoulder bumping yours as he nudged you to the middle of the path you were walking on.

“Well, hi there,” you smiled, trying your best to keep your hands to yourself and not tangle with his - no feelings, you’d agreed. 

“Hi there?” he questioned with a scoff, “that’s all you’ve got?” 

“What can I say?” you asked, keeping your smirk to yourself, “guess I’m just quiet.” 

“That you are, love,” he said, catching your smirk as it snuck its way out, “always have been.” His eyes darkened as he asked, “so, where are you headed?” 

“Home,” you answered with a genuine smile, “I finished my last test… I’ve got nowhere to be until tomorrow, how ever will I fill the time?” 

“I’ll help you fill something alright,” he growled, placing a hand on your lower back and pushing you to walk a little faster. 

You were soon just down the street from your apartment when an idea popped into your head, “hey Harry?” 

“Love?” 

“Last one there’s on top,” you said quickly, then took off running toward your apartment. 

He laughed loudly behind you, before jogging to catch up. He honestly didn’t know if he wanted to win or lose, more than happy to have you either way. And if he’s being really honest, he hadn’t exactly pictured any topping happening between the two of you… he didn’t even think you’d make it out of the entryway, when you got there.

He decided to let you win, stepping up right behind you as you touch the door. His hands come to rest on your hips and his face drops forward into your neck. He plants a sweet kiss against the skin there before his lips find your ear, “congratulations,” he whispers. 

You giggle and shiver at the sensation, fishing out your keys and opening the door.

The both of you stumble into the hallway and you drop your things off just inside the front door. He slips off his shoes immediately and peels off his hoodie. 

“Can I get you anything?” you ask gently, as you hang your coat on the hook.

“Just you,” he smiles, his cockiness returning at full force, “and if I remember correctly, I’m on top…” 

You giggle and feel your cheeks heating up, suddenly aware of your boldness earlier, not that you hadn’t meant everything you’d said. 

He rushed towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist and sliding in as close as possible. He kissed at your neck again, brushing your hair behind your shoulders, “so uh, bed or couch?” 

“Wherever you want.” 

“Ah, dealer’s choice, eh?” he chuckles, dropping his hands to the backs of your thighs and scooping you up. 

He carried you down the hallway to your bedroom while you giggled in his ear, “so I guess you picked the bed.” 

He tossed you on the bed with a laugh, “that I did, love.” 

He quickly peeled his shirt over his head, dropping his shorts next and kicking off his socks.

“Not wasting any time either I see,” you teased him. 

“What happened to being quiet?” he chuckled, teasing you right back.

“Just can’t decide what you want today, can you?” you giggle, starting to peel off your leggings. 

He laughed, climbing between your legs and helping you to pull them and your fuzzy socks off, “it really wasn’t that cold out there,” he laughed.

“You were running! Playing soccer! That makes a difference!” 

“Alright, alright,” he laughed, “arms up.” 

You did as you were told and let him pull your sweater over your head. Thank god you’d put on your cute bra this morning… 

He smiled as your face came into view again, a glint in his eye as always; this time, however, you were picking up on a little something more. There was something in there you hadn’t seen before and you couldn’t quite put your tongue on it. 

He drank in your figure a little before slipping his finger under your bra strap and slowly sliding it down your shoulder. You nodded gently, knowing that he was asking for permission; he may be a frat boy but he’s always been much more gentlemanly than you’d expected one to be and you were eternally grateful for that.

He smiled as you reached around to unhook your bra and let him remove it from your body. He laid you down quickly, coming to straddle your hips as his mouth finally found yours.

He kissed you hard, his tongue poking out to swipe against your lips instantly. You let him explore your mouth happily, taking the time to run your hands along his back; you pressed your fingers into his shoulder blades, soothing the muscles there. He moaned in your mouth at the tiny massage, pulling back a second to whisper, “you’re good at that,” before continuing his exploration. Your hands smoothed down towards his boxers, playing with the band gently and he took the hint, pulling away again to quip, “who’s not wasting time now?”

You giggled, and he sat up to take off his last article of clothing. He slid in between your knees and slipped his thumbs in the waistband of your panites as well. 

“You too?” he asked.

You nodded and lifted your hips to help him take them off; they were quickly discarded on top of the pile next to his.

“Guess my quiet girl is back…” he smiled, hovering over you once again.

You giggled in response, your hands finding his backside and gently pulling him closer to you.

He laughed at your antics, “easy tiger, gotta get something first.”

You let out a breath and reached over into your nightstand to pull out a condom. He sat up the smallest bit and let you roll the rubber down his shaft. 

Once all the business was taken care of, he smiled at you again and settled into place. 

He spread your legs wider, bending your knees in towards your chest so he could settle between; “there we go,” he whispered as you gripped the backs of your thighs to hold them in place. 

You rolled your eyes at his cockiness, but you knew that without it, he wouldn’t be Harry.

He grabbed his cock in his hand, pumping a few times and lining up at your entrance; he tapped the head against your clit twice, causing you to jerk upwards. 

He laughed as a whimper fell from your lips; he started to run the head along your folds, partly to tease you and partly to make sure you were wet enough to take him without much foreplay. 

You whined a little bit, starting to rock your hips against his for more friction. He took your hint, chuckling and lining up with your entrance again.

“If it’s too much, let me know,” he whispered.

You scoffed, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and pulling him forward so his face is inches from yours, “get on with it, Holland,” you whispered into his mouth before attaching your lips to his. 

He smirked into the kiss, but obliged your request and pushed into you slowly. 

He pressed in fully, settling his hips flush to yours. He let a deep breath out against your lips as he pulled away. 

You let out a quiet moan, your head lolling back, and eyes remaining closed. 

He chuckled against your skin, pecking a kiss on your shoulder; one of his hands found its way to your face, brushing your hair back. “Hey,” he whispered gently.

You opened your eyes slowly, finding his gleaming back at you, “hmm,” you answered.

“Doin’ okay, love?” he asked in a whisper.

“Yeah, just need half a second,” you huffed out with a laugh. 

“Alright,” he smiled, his fingers still brushing at your hair, “let me know.” 

You smiled at him, your eyes fluttering closed again for a second as you took in a deep breath. He rested inside of you, waiting for the go ahead. 

His eyes scanned over your face, taking in every detail of you. 

“Go on,” you whispered, eyes finally popping open again. 

He moved his hand away from your face, resting it beside your head for better leverage. He pulled out slowly, before sinking back in with a snap.

You moaned lightly, relishing in the feeling of him against you again. 

“You know,” he laughed gently, “you can be louder than that,” he smiled cockily. 

You let out a breath of air with a small laugh in response, “make me.” 

He growled at that, bending forward the rest of the way and nipping at the skin of your neck gently. 

“Trust me, love, I will.” 

He pulled his hips back, almost the entirety of his length slipping out of you, before he slammed in again with fervor. He set a punishing pace, snapping his hips to yours harshly and pulling moan after moan from your mouth. His fingers started toying with your clit quickly, pulling you so much closer to your first orgasm. 

You moaned again and again, getting louder with each thrust. A series of “Harry,” and “oh my god,” and “just like that,” falling from your lips.

He slowed his pace after a while, easing his length in and out of you, his fingers still working their magic on your bundle of nerves; he sat back on his knees, looking down over you. You found his eyes again as he said, “there’s the sounds I was looking for,” and dropped you a wink. 

You giggled for a half a second before he hit that spot in you just right and at exactly the same time his fingers strummed over that special spot. All of that combined sent you skyrocketing over the edge.

You let out your loudest moan as he slowly pumped you through your orgasm. He pulled one of your legs up to rest on top of his shoulder; he watched you with that glint in his eye for who knows how long while you came back to center. When you finally opened your eyes again, he pressed a kiss to your shin.

You smiled up at him, feeling something more for a second. His little peck wasn’t something he’s ever done before, but you secretly had been dying for. You only got to think about it for a few seconds before he hit your spot just right again, pulling another moan from your mouth as you started towards your second orgasm. 

He smiled again looking over you, “already going for a second there are you?” 

You rolled your eyes again and purposefully clenched around him. 

He moaned loudly, getting close to finishing, “not fair, darling.” 

You laughed at him, “finish it then.”

He pulled your other leg over his other shoulder, leaning forward and balancing his weight on his hands next to your head. He picked up the pace again, this time working back up to the one you’d had before. 

“Rub your clit, baby, c’mon,” he breathed against your skin, his face buried in the crook of your neck.

You snaked your hand between your bodies, doing exactly as he asked. The added stimulation bringing you to the edge again quickly. 

“C’mon, almost there?” he asked, “can’t hold it much longer…”

You moaned in his ear, “just a little more... please don’t stop, Har...” 

He sunk his teeth into your neck to try and ground himself and stave off his orgasm just a little longer.

His mark on your skin sent you falling over the edge, moaning in his ear again and clawing at his back with your free hand.

He fell over as well, feeling your nails in his skin, panting in his ear, and your walls gripping him tighter than ever before. His lips found yours again, locking them together and sealing you both into the moment. 

He gradually brought the both of you down from your highs, slowing his hips to a stop. 

You stayed moulded like that for a few minutes, relishing in each others’ tastes and calming your senses. You gently removed your hand from yourself, placing it on the small of his back and pulling his body just that much closer to yours. He pulled away from the kiss gently, finding your eyes again.

You breathed deeply, moving to brush a few stray curls off his forehead; you searched his eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking as there was that hint of something you’re unfamiliar with in there. 

You stayed like that for a few minutes - just looking at each other, both of you trying to talk with your eyes. 

Before too long, you needed to move, “pull out please?” you asked, starting to get uncomfortable with him still inside you.

He hurried to oblige, whispering, “sorry, love,” and stepping off of you. 

He padded into the bathroom and discarded the condom; he grabbed a cloth from the cabinet, wetting it and bringing it back to clean you up. He took care of that, then hung it over the side of the tub to dry and headed back to your room. You smiled as he entered, sitting up to put some clothes on again as you shivered. 

He stepped into his shorts again, slipping on his shirt. He raced to the door again, grabbing his hoodie and bringing it back to you. You’d just stepped into fresh panties when he came through the door; he brought it in and slipped it over your head. 

He pulled your hair out the back, brushing it flat and off your face again.

“Hi,” he whispered, his hands cupping your cheeks.

“What’s up with you?” you asked with a smile, enjoying this very boyfriend-y behavior. If you’re being honest with yourself, you’d started falling for him a while ago, wishing that he would finally ask for more than sex, but you weren’t putting your eggs in that basket and letting yourself get too attached yet. 

“Would you want to have dinner with me?” he asked bluntly, sliding his hands down your arms and tangling with yours. 

You blushed at the invitation, finally getting what you’d been hoping for, “I would love to have dinner with you.”

Taglist:  @a-daydreamers-day @spider-barnes @hogwartsmarvelmommy @tulipholland @harryhollandsgirlfriend @cupids-crystals @sunwardsss @bvttercupbby @mcushvft @elishi03 @golden-hoax @mistakenpersonn @cedricdiggorysimpp @multixfandomwriter @wildxwidow @petesrparker @delightfulmuffinclamauthor @ambinxe 

Bonus tag: @thegirlintheswivelchair

[rosanthium]

Wheel of Time Review Retitled: Surprise! A Man hates Women and Diversity.

As someone who actively consumes a lot of film content I find myself curious as to how different prominent and professional film critics and reviewers are to my own experiences as an audience consuming content. After all, art is in the eyes of the beholder and film is just that, another form of art that can be interpreted in many ways. How people interpret content is largeley based on and tailored to the individual's personal experiences and identity, which ultimately affects the reading of film in either positive or negative ways.

Now as a queer woman and a cinephile, I have some beef. Above is a review of the TV adaptation of the The Wheel of Time, written by one James Delingpole for The Spectator UK. I am in no way a misandrist or man hater, or anything along those lines, but this review has pushed my buttons to the enth. Too many times have I seem film reviewers (largely old white men) absolutely slam perfectly acceptable and creative content just for the fact that women may have depth of character, people of colour exist as does the lgbtqia+ community.

Never have i seen a review so biased and hateful, not even towards the TV adaptation but for the source materal too and it perplexes me how these reviews are allowed to continue being published and pass the editing room. Im not talking about being PC, but fuck if your going to review something base it on merit and not the fact that ripping source material to shreds, reducing the author to a failure in the fantasy literary world and then criticising the thespian abilities of the young actors, makes a review credible. Talk about hate shot after hate shot.

I don't normally get this fired up but today I'm on this hell app letting you all know, how lovers of the books, the show, the characters and the actors, have been so denegrated to "trite" and "tripe" is absolutely disgusting. You know how we learnt "If you don' t have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?" this, I feel, should have been the lesson here, as the only purpose of this review was to let us all know that this guy just doesn't like the Wheel of Time, full stop. Here are a few beautiful examples I would love to share with yall:

Firstly I would like to point out the arrogant preconception that reading a 14 book epic fantasy series will be feasible on a 2 week holiday. Yet despite personal recs and global sucess, the persuasion to pick up the book actually stemmed from the fact that Robert Jordan was a decorated war hero, engineer and an absolute mans man which inspired Delingpole to follow through with the book recommendation, then using Jordan's military and mathematical macho backround to justify his disappoinment in the failings of the book, as if that instantly gives agency for good authorship. The failings in Delingpole's eyes being:

The reviewer didnt even finish the books, and i feel we can all agree that the best thing about the Wheel of Time is how well the characters develop and change throughout the story to make a well fleshed out and rich fantasy world. By reducing it to a Lord of the Rings rip off, we see how, instead of reading the way Jordan developed those ideas that yes, have existed in other stories too, have rather opted in just disregarding TWoT as a failed copy cat that has "basic dialogue, leaden prose and uninspiring characters." Ahh, there is the literary language I so look for in justification for poor reviews, and yet we haven't even got to the show yet. As a reviewer who seems to hate the source material, Dalingpole sure had hopes that the TV adaptation would be different in his eyes, but nope, its EVEN WORSE.

Now lets get to the meaty part cos boy its a doozy:

Fuck me where to start. For someone so reverent of Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings this guy sure does have some hang ups about unique fantasy names, especially outright naming the 3 examples who are played by poc actors as "annoying and unpronouncable". Sure "James", Mr Western White Man who, unsurprisingly, has a problem with foreign names, (the racist subtext is starting to smell a bit here). I wonder as such an avid reader and professional reviewer how illiterate he became when reading Dune, or any other series that has predmonitely white protagonist and unpronouncable names.

Now to Moraine and the Aes Sedai. Unfunny, pompous and crotchety witches/seers/spell-weavers who only exist as a dominating and powerful political and protector class to pander to new age feminism and paganistic hippies. WOW. God forbid women have any sort of agency and respect in an epic medieval fantasy except to be the lovers, mothers, sisters or whores of great male heros. And how dare such a "macho man" like Robert Jordan pander to these ideologies. The only thing that makes sense is if he wrote an entire, intricate world surrounding womens' power as an elaborate Barney Stinson ploy to make Jordan desirable to female audiences so he could essentially, fuck them. Yes, thats right. Delingpole believes that if a male author writes about powerful women, it must only be with predatory intentions. I dont care about defending Jordan, but I do care about how narrow this lense is, and that for this male reviewer, is the only logical explanation for a female-centred narrative written by a man. As if men can't write women with any authenticity. As if women can't exist unless to be of service to a man. As if we aren't over the tireless harmful gender roles and stereotypes that 100 years of Hollywood has reinforced. As if nothing can break out of that mold and formula unless its pandandering to minorities or feminism. I can't for the life of me see how this perspective could fly these days when it is based on so much misogyny and ignorance that I've got whiplash. And this isn't even confined to the books but bleeds into the TV series as well.

Cold but sexy-ish Gandalf? Delingpole has futher reinforced his Tolkien hard-on by essentially saying that Moraine is unlikable because she is mysterious and withdrawn (which if he stuck around, he might have learnt why there are 14 goddamn books) and that her only likability is by reducing her character to looks only. That the only redeeming quality for a MAIN CHARACTER is her fuckability. For someone who didn't finish the story or is even sticking around to finish this TV series, he sure has seemed to make up his mind. I think we can all agree that Rosamund Pike is doing an exceptional job as Moraine, and the nuances she is bringing in the show is dominating the screen by bringing the source material to life in a new, refreshing way. I goddamn screamed and cried when they canonically made Moraine a gay woman in a loving relationship with the goddamn Amyrlin Seat. What a power move. What a moment to witness, this small change that made me feel more seen and connected and personal than any other adaptation I've ever consumed, and made me hope for the future of representation on the screen. Not saying that the books and the TV adaptation are perfect, and that the debate on creative liberty is one I'm not going to get into here, but this level of criticism based on the Reviewer's personal bias makes me wonder if they were the best choice in critiquing this narrative.

Moraine isnt the only protagonist under fire. The four possible Dragons are reduced to "petulant teenages" with no "discernable personality", and now I start to wonder whether we have seen the same show and read the same book. Sure, they are doe eyed villiage folk embarking on a great adventure with life/death ramifications. Since when was innocence regarded as petulance, when was the mistakes of simple mountain folk thrust into larger destiny held to such a high regard, as if teenagers aren't fucking stupid and mess up sometimes. I doubt this reviewer has the same views of Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin if you get my meaning. Hypocritical doesnt even begin to describe the level of arrogance Dalingpole has to have his word be God and the only opinion that matters in this context. And he doesnt stop there.

I know there has been some controversy in this community about the way Barney Harris is interpreting the role of Mat as a serious, brooding and whiny figure instead of the kind, trickster like, humouros conman and scoundrel as he was portrayed in the books. Either way, my personal opinion had me (ironically) disliking Harris's portrayal the most out of everyone due to the fact he felt unfamiliar to me. Whether we see a different take with Harris being recast is a different matter, because Delingpole reveres the character who has adopted the most toxic traits, whilst belittleing the rest.

Reducing young emerging actors to the thespian abilities of school play mediocrity has me reeling. How dare Delingpole attack the greener actors and diminish the hard work and talent that goes into making this kind of series, as well as insinuating that hotness and racial/queer representation is the only reason these people were cast in the first place. Im sure he didnt have any problems with the young, predominately 'white' actors of Game of Thrones, as if they are the pinnacle of acting abilities. And yes I'm gonna look at this through a racial and queer lense because goddamn James seems to feel the need to attack every minority represention left right and centre within this review. For someone hell bent on not finishing either the books or the tv series to find out if these young actors can "grow into their roles", he really is not giving any space to change his mind. Which brings me full circle and is further supported by his conclusionary statements:

In conclusion James Dalingpole wishes Game of Thrones never ended and that any form of diversity is a hindrance to the sucess of television fantasy. The Wheel of Time is thus, a cheap knockoff of every medieval fantasy that has been popularised in culture, and any decision to include minority representation in the source material, or the adaptation has ultimately lead to failure in his eyes. And yet here, Delingpole reinforces that it is the most successful fantasy series since Lord of the Rings. So how did it go so wrong? Answer: it didn't, Delingpole just has a lifelong perscription of bigoted glasses and his script ain't changing any time soon.

I am not saying that my rant on this review is the only truth out there, we all have our own opinions and interpretations, but having a reviewer so biased against diversity, whether it be gender, race or sexuality, leads me to wonder why these kinds of reviews are allowed any agency at all. Everyone's a critic, sure, but never have I seen such a blatant disregard and disrespect of the books, the fans, the actors and even the studio execs. It irks me that this drivel is still being reinforced because these opinions don't actually give any form of depth or nuance, just hatred for the divulge in formula. The classic "Bring me back to the good ol days" mentality where anyone who wasn't a man was opressed. The Wheel of Time is not Lord of the Rings, nor is it Game of Thrones, it is beloved by many, myself included, and can stand on its own if we stop the comparisons to what 'was' normal and Hollywood formula and embrace that diversity is becoming the norm. Women exist, people of colour exist and so do lgbtqia+ people who are allowed to have agency in how we create a new norm and formula for medieval epic fantasies. I, for one, am someone who can seperate book from adaptation and am so far loving both, but to write this review as an attack on the narrative as a whole feels outdated and honestly pathetic. Here I am, reading the words of another angry old white man who is pissed off that representation is being normalised, when we should be embracing the fact that outdated source material being brought to modern audiences need to reflect a sense of modernity, which thus means, adapting women-lead narratives, casting lgbtqia+ and poc actors to adapt the roles and just outright not give people like this Reviewer any more agency to reinforce these harmful opinions. I'm also not saying the Wheel of Time is perfect, because like everything, it has flaws, but outright calling it a failure due to its type of content, makes me wonder if James Dalingpole has actually enjoyed anything since we emerged into the 21st century.

Anyway, rant over. Check out the full article yourselves and suss it out. Am i reading too much into this? I hope not, cos this is just one example of so many film reviews I have seen this year absolutely sloshing new films and series just based on the fact it is "Too PC" and this last one got me in the gut. I'm over it because I fucking love how film these days are setting the standard for progressing culture away from the dominant western patriarchal ideologies. It starts with small change, and i know that change is scary for book purists and fragile egos, but the only way we are going to see rich, personalised and diverse stories on screen is if we stop letting the voice of an old white man dictate what constitutes good content or not. I don't know, fight me about this if you want but I'm just fucking tired.

[eligaxy]

Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah