#which is bad that this class is last
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#one final left 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫#i am procrastinating studying#my motivation to study is nonexistent atp lmfao#which is bad that this class is last#bc idk anything in this class#😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀#and the slides aren't great and there's not a great straightforward way to study in my brain rn#i need to write down some stuff i can do#i i have like a lil les than 14 hours 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀#why was this class so bad for me it wasn't even like that bad like the prof wasn't horrible#just not for me ig 💀💀💀 i just could not pay attention to him everything he said went right in and out thru my ears no comprehension#hm so how do i reread all the chapters or something in like < 10 hours or smth lmfao#also what do i even mean reread as if i read them all the first time slkjnfgdfigbpiurghpqireughdjfhsglfgjhaldkjfh#my last two finals were ok like ........ on par for what i expect lmfao and i think i did as well as i was gonna do on them#but this one#it's fucking unfortunate timing that it's last and day after another final bc i would rly appreciate a lot more time to study for this one#and i cant manage time so i haven't rly started studying for it lmfao why would i study before the day before 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩#anyway whatever#my chinese song playlist hitting hard rn it's so good and so nice to listen to while studying bc i dont get too distracted lol#and the songs are so GOOD i've been bonding more w my roommate over it XD#i think it's kinda funny how my music this week is gonna be so different than normal lol on airbuds since it does weekly music stats#out of nowhere just only lindsey stirIing and chinese songs lol#and then mxmt/oon in btwn there bc she also chiller music#jeanne talks
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#good omens#´hello friends!! how are you!!#I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` )#I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey#usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from#most of the time I just get a stuffy nose#has my nose gotten stronger#but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁)#it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet#but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (:#and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors#I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set#the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer#but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet#unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home#which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car
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guess who got STRAIGHT A'S FOR THEIR FINAL SEMESTERRRRRRRRRRRR
4.0 GPA FOR THE SEMESTER, BABYYYYYYYYYYY
this raised my overall GPA to a 3.12. which it's a little sad that i'd been struggling so much prior to this past year (from unmedicated adhd & having to work a fucking job while in school) bc i probably Could have had a really high overall GPA. this past year proved that i *can* be a good college student. but Oh Well. i can be proud of what i've accomplished in this past year at least. and i can be proud of going from academic probation a year ago to getting straight A's in my final semester of college. and managing to raise my GPA up to a 3.12. still an accomplishment!!!
#speculation nation#i got on academic probation bc i did just a Godawful job on my last semester prior to this school year#which was. spring 2023. my focus just fucking tanked Completely (due to me getting absolutely Slammed with my 3gun hyperfixation)#i only passed those classes on a technicality. aka i got like. barely a C in one i think? and a D in the other.#which normally isn't good enough to count but since it wasnt a prerequisite for anything my advisor was oh so niceys to me#and made an exception. so it did count for my degree after all.#but bc i did So fucking bad they were just like 'we gotta watch u' and there i remained until i went back to school last year.#bc i took a year off due to grief w/e lol. did some soul searching. came into some money. got on adhd meds. turned my life around.#and now i am boasting a fuckin 4.0 GPA for my final semester. WAHOO!!!!!!!#feels so nice. only the second time ive. ever? gotten straight A's. i think.#i got them one semester of my junior year of high school bc i got motivated by the studying in p4 lol#couldnt keep it up. it fuckin wrecked me. went back to my normal As and Bs for the remainder of high school#BUT it was the perfect time to have Gotten straight As. bc it probably helped me get accepted into college lol#and NOW..... OVER 10 YEARS LATER.......... i have gotten straight As for the first time in college. WAHOOOOOOOO#college is just another fuckin kind of beast. good god. i had to nearly break my back to keep up with this#helped that i only had 3 classes of actual schoolwork too. tho orchestra and bowling certainly kept me busy lol#still. gonna just bask in this for a bit. i am very very proud.
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dummies
#i am a big believer in he/him nb yusuke so. that's what that first one's about#anyway here's some guys. i've been thinking about yyh a lot lately :p#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yusuke urameshi#kazuma kuwabara#hiei#kurama#yukina#yoko kurama#skrunkart#urameshi yusuke#kuwabara kazuma#kiiiiinda skipped class for this. which i feel bad about bc it's end of semester! it's fun! i'll miss everybody!!#but also i uh. idk i got a bad feeling. felt weird so i bailed on the way there#not like i was gonna miss anything that crucial anyway#brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i gotta go study don't i... hm#anyway if you think the top one looks bad um. ignore it please i haven't colored anything digitally in ages (ignore last night's post)#and also i wanted it to be colored but didn't care enough to do full shading and... well whatever
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local dog club have both a nosework course and a beginners agility course coming up but they're both weekend deals and i work saturdays :)))
#the beginners obedience and the everyday obedience they had last year too#i really want to do SOMETHING because im so bad at getting frames and structure around things#both my girls are past the basic/everyday obedience course levels but i'd take em anyway just for input. i get set in my ways yk#and im not a dog trainer#never attended a class which is something i told the breeder i would with baby spart lol
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howdy!! it's been a minute but i'm still around. fair warning-- i have been lurking the whole time and have about. 100+ posts drafted 😵 you'll be seeing these shortly, i'll try my best to space them out as i get around to tagging them
#tldr im fine it's just been a lot lately and i havent had the energy to tag anything#which!! i like being chatty in the tags and i try my best to say at least something cool about any art or fic i rb#when you're running on 0 tho.... it gets hard to keep that energy up yk???#long version: (if anyone is reading this ty but feel free to drop off at any point it's kinda heavy and just a vent)#hit the 'one more minor inconvenience and im running off into the woods forever' point about five major events ago yet we're still truckin#firstly: found out two months ago (february) that i needed 6 credits worth of college by june to keep my teaching license for next year#so accelerated online graduate courses were the only option and i have since done more work for that than my 5 year undergrad#im almost done with the second class but im so fuckin drained dude i havent been able to really draw/write or play music or sew or anything#everything i do try has either been hit with the executive dysfunction or turns out Bad enough that i get frustrated#shortly after i found out the nice old guy downstairs died my upstairs neighbor who i cared a lot about died. last week and im still waitin#to find out when the funeral is from her son. ive been taking that kinda hard since i feel like i should have checked on her#my parents are moving 17 hours cross country to move back to where we are which is nice but ive been hearing about all their stress with th#house sale on loop by this point whenever i talk to them. which fair they managed to sell the house in a week when we thought itd be months#got smacked with thousands of dollars of surprise car repairs out of nowhere to get my inspection sticker and am still trying to recover#and petty things: lost my favorite piece of clothing and broke my glasses last week while running tech week for the kids#idk man any one thing at a time i could've toughed out better its just been all at once#anyways like i said i'm still truckin and will probably delete this (or at least the tags on it) later had to get all that out somewhere#messenger pidge#if anyone did get this far down thank you for watching me yap <3 i promise im good and will be back to normal shenanigans soon hopefully
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Pain and serious injury are so terrifying, tbh. I'd probably do anything to avoid it.
#l33chsp34k#Idk if my last post was lost in my bad internet connection but it was about first aid class.#When they described femur fractures I felt lightheaded. Which might have been just my no breakfast lifestyle.#But frankly it's horrifying how easy it is for something in your body to go horribly wrong.#And those moments must feel eternal... I felt similarly when they said you can be doing compressions for 45 minutes.#Less horrifying because there's no pain or fear for you but still.#I have the acute sense that those 45 mins would feel like 45 hours. And anything that feels like hours is horrifying in my books.
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HELP ok do i text him or not
#and by him i mean#this guy who i was really good friends with all of middle school and freshman year who i had a very bad friend break up with#who texted me a month ish ago and we talked for a little bit#and then he was asking me if i was into girls but in like a really weird rude way#so naturally i was weird and rude back#and we have not talked since that (which was like 2 weeks ago)#he thought i had a crush on the girl i sit next to in english (i did / do?) I DID NOT TELL HIM THAT#bc she’s sort of dating (“talking” and having sex) with my friends ex boyfriend#but he was just being weird#anyway i went to prom with said girl and i saw the guy i am contemplating texting#i feel bad for being mean to him and also i deleted his number and our conversation but i have his number memorized for some odd reason#my last english class is tomorrow and said girl will not be there bc she has a tennis match#so if i do text him what if he tries to talk to me bc my safety net isn’t there#OR should i talk to him in person tomorrow#no that’s a horrible idea#ok#help
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Ooh what's barbarian Figs subclass
m flipfloppin between giant and totem (def reskinned) for her rn! giant would be Really funny for junior year and there's some thematic stuff for the transformation element I think would be interesting, but just purely on a character basis I think fig would love totem esp. as a barbie girl in freshman year. if I land on totem I kinda imagine it like a wuxia animal style thing tbh, mostly just because the idea of someone coming into a fight expecting typical movie shaolin choreography and getting Teenager That Mauls You To Death is entertaining to me
#not art#fh class quangle#the main appeal of the path of giants for fig is that it puts her So Tantalizingly Close to porter's grasp#but fundamentally he will never be able to convince her bc she just does not respect him lmao#barbarian!fig's junior year is about building new. thinking about the after of destruction. rebuilding her own self perception after#letting go of the thing that's motivated her through the last two years#(which is the ownership of things that the world refuses her due to who she is. like a certain kind of femininity or companionship#some of which grow to become limiting and ill-fitting for her but she's gone through a Lot of destruction to keep them so#she's unwilling to let go of them. that's sophomore year babeyy)#barbarian!fig almost zealously upholds self-determination AND she's hyperaware of her friends' business#coupled with cleric!gorgug being a high control group victim and being So sus of the shit porter's on. ohhh fig would Hate him#meanwhile the path of the totem warriors I mostly just hesitate on bc the language is. bad. lol#like barbarian as a class is already fraught with modern fantasy ahistorical bullshit. totem warrior is especially egregious#and idk if I can be bothered to like reskin it for this one thing and every time I mention it add on a tag that explains my reskin#like at a certain point it feels like stepping out of the ''playing with specifically a d20 property like dolls'' box and entering the#''doing labour for wotc for free'' box. and at that point it stops being fun for me#well. I simply must sit on it for a bit. we'll see how it turns out!
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just finished my last ever college class what the fuck
#it was such a good class i'm really gonna miss the people i worked with. great way to end my senior year#i still have one paper i need to turn in which i've been procrastinating on so bad. and my sketch writing class has a show sunday#so like it's not the last thing i'm going to do at college. but it's the last class period i'll have to go to
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Day 3 of a pounding migraine...haven't been in class bc ain't no way I'm even trying when my skull is pulsating 😭
#nimo's sheeko sheeko time#JSJSKSK this is what I get for bawling on Monday!!!#cant be helped given the circumstances#alhamdulilah she's doing better!! in shaa Allah it continues!!!#even remembering makes me cry which made my head pulsate harder#atelier sophie is a grace rn since I can vegetate and synthesize#not looking forward to firis/lydie & suelle bc theyre jp only#I was gonna say and have Those Voices [high pitched cutesy voices!!!]#but iirc Firis isnt that bad but I remember Lydie and Suelle legit tormenting me 😭😭😭#admittedly I have chronic migraines but I really could not listen to their lines fully oof#SO SAD SOPHIE WAS THE LAST DUB!! NOOOOO#their voices were so good and not high pitched!!!#also tangentially related but some voices are waaaay harder for me to take when I have headaches/migraines#Jojo is one of the ppl I can take!! shockingly even when I have a migraine#my mentor as well!#they both have soft voices that arent high pitched/squeaky#however I cant stay in class a lot of times bc while I can handle my teacher#I can not handle my classmates lmao#a lot of them speak Very Loudly#like BOOMING#and they speak over each other#I remember putting the volume on 8 and getting dizzy bc it was still too loud#so I just left lol fuck that
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Why no female Frillish
Justice for F Frillish
↑ i said this in the tags. i.e. there was no female frillish model on the typical place i source models from. but there was for jellicent. case in point:
there just wasn't one. the image on TMR shows a female model:
she's considerably happier. but she's just not included in the contents of the zip file when downloaded. don't ask ME for justice for her. ask whoever uploaded these models onto TMR for justice
#not pkmn#maybe i wasn't clear enough in the tags. which is fair. it's getting into that True Finals Week‚ as i call it in college#where it's not Finals Week. where you take finals. but instead it's that One week of the year where every class assigns all their big final#projects at you at once. and it's faaar more work than finals week#and this one is killing me more than it ever has. it's my last two weeks of school Literally Ever right now so it makes sense#but holy shit i'm having a bad time! so tags are getting shorter. apologies to those of you who look forward to that#commentary but i'm a little Out Here rn. so a lot of the time the only commentary you'll get from me is in asks like these
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Need to watch my favorite movie again sometime soon
#have a dvd at home but im at college rn also my new laptop doesnt have a player#ill have to see if its streaming anywhere ig#pro im gonna be so stereotypical at postgrad w this no 1 movie choice have to take advantage of it now before i become a cliche#also can whoever is blasting music rn stfu its monday night and everyone in the dorm can hear you#let me write my portuguese essay in peace in the middle of the hall bc we have no lounges#its a school night 😭😭😭#godd if i could be sleeping rn i would be ughhhhh but 400 more words to go#she said due on the 14th but technically past midnight#im assuming before class (which is at noon) we need to email it but i could play the incompetence card and say i thought it was by midnight#on the 14th... but then id have to do more tmrw...#ill try to do a bit more ig#i could never pull an all nighter honestly#not that i would for this but i just stop caring once it hits like midnight. which is bad bc i love procrastinating like 27482828 assgmts#til 7 or 8 pm#but my mom taught me to just give up and go to bed and take the F lol. not that my academic weapon ass wld ever do that but i feel the#temptation. what was i saying#SHUT UP THE MUSIC#if i have to move to the stairwell omg its so coldd there#im such a stairwell warrior (wrote all my essays there last year bc that dorm was also loud)
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university.. university leave me alone
#heres the situation: for my cognitive literary studies class (quite fun) we had to pick primary material and a cognitive angle to analyse it#from. and the deadline was coming up and i who have been thinking very intensely about robots for the last half a year picked#yeah you guessed it. fucking PIERS PLOWMAN. which is not fun for me but i panicked about the deadline#so now i have to do something about piers plowman and its cognitive literary properties#and im in hell this is hell i have been extremely stressed about piers plowman for a month. to the point where ive been in physical pain#AND I CANNOT. THINK OF ANYTHING. ABOUT PIERS PLOWMAN.#and the teacher for that class is so nice and chill and she was like you can pick anything at all. and i went with piers plowman#like it's interesting but from what COGNITIVE angle can i approach piers plowman.#ive been thinking about saying exactly this that piers plowman is more for historical linguists and theologists than narratologists but im#also positive plenty of scholars read piers plowman for the plot#so then i thought about the characters and whether you can Connect with them and whether they help you Immerse yourself in the story and#other terminology i learned in cognitive literary studies class.#theyre allegorical and very 1 dimensional and there could be something about whether we from 2024 understand them in the same way#people from the 14th century did. like this was what i put in my proposal when i made it#but now i actually have to make the slides and use cognitive literary papers for this and it's just not going at all. i cant do it.#i cant do anything i cant enjoy the daylight and the warmer weather i cant think about anything other than im not making progress on this#and it's bad for me!! it's bad for my health i feel bad. why did i go with piers plowman why did i not pick watership down#my post#i have plenty to say about watership downm cognitively.#also about old possums book of practical cats#maybe i could email her and tell her id like to change it.. no#ive also been reading the tombs of atuan which is incredible
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went running and can report i'm still not that person
#'running is the best exercise you can do for muay thai' please don't say that#lie to me#jk it was alright. went to the park at 9pm and i've got a route now#ran some sections and walked others#so hopefully if i do it again (and again and again and again) i'll be able to keep up the running for longer#got a method of noticing change that way#which is something i'm historically quite bad at#tw for weight stuff in the rare event anyone is reading these tags#i've definitely gained muscle since starting this silly exercise habit thing#and i don't check how much i weigh because i don't care#and it would hopefully just go up anyway#but checked today for drug trial reasons and i'm 4kg less than last time? alright#again. genuinely doesn't mean much to me (anymore)#i don't think i need to lose any weight and tbh i'd rather not#but its still . ig. a sign that i've been consistent with something#which is SO hard#because i get into phases that go way too intense and then stop completely#but this is a normal amount to change by and i haven't done anything crazy#also kept it up for 6 months#so apparently i have the ability to form and keep habits now#and the weight is an indicator of that even if it was unintentional#(also for muay thai i have to be in a weight class)#(fighting is a long way off but it's at the back of my mind to pay more attention to it)#anyway. who would've thought i'd be doing this#✅️ learnt how to do habits at age 22
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swinging a bat at a hornets net to some degree but. im gonna be honest as much as martha wasn't written as well as she could've been nor the doctor in her season, alot of the reasons people have for considering her story/treatment problematic like. have narrative purpose? and aren't just baseless mistreatment? like yeah the doctor absolutely did not value her as much as he should've and did lead her on to some extent, but i dont think that's painted as a good or ok thing; it was the result of him still mourning his previous companion. again, which is not a justification and that's not the point; it was selfish and cruel of him to try and replace his previous companion with a new one while obviously not viewing her the same as his old one. I think it is unfortunate and overall a bad choice to have made her the first black female companion considering this narrative going on throughout the season, but I also don't think it was more than that– a bad, less-than-thoughtful choice. her narrative throughout her time on the show was about her realizing her own worth Despite the doctor and the way he, intentionally or not, belittled her, and in the end she doesn't leave feeling heartbroken and aimless, she leaves with more drive than ever to put herself first and do what's best for her and be the awesome talented person she is without a man who doesn't value her hindering her. and i think that's genuinely a good, interesting narrative to have for a female companion- it genuinely breaks the mold and asserts that his "companions" are their own people with agency who aren't solely bound to him or reliant on him. it'd be one thing if she never realized/acknowledged the way he treated her, but she did!!! and thus in the end she thanked him for the memories and the incredible things he'd shown her, and left on her own terms. instead of staying and hoping he'd change, instead of dying or experiencing some other permanent tragedy like many if not most companions, instead of settling for less and being submissive and agreeable. she walked an apocalyptic earth and saved the world ON HER OWN (utopia) and came out of it like hey? you know what? i'm pretty fucking capable without you, and I deserve more than to be someone's second best. i dont think that this was an oppressive storyline for her at all– it would be if her story's end was different, and if there wasn't intention to her strife, but her story wrapped up, I think, in a pretty well-done empowering place. not to mention her role in torchwood where she further demonstrates her ability to be a cool interesting and capable character apart from the doctor. but yeah. sorry idk i had to get this out of my system. do not ask me about the new season I know nearly nothing about it and I'm only talking about tennant era dw right now thank you
#kibumblabs#SORRY#long post#I wanna tag this for organizational purposes but. that would be dangerous.#anyway I think she had a stronger and more satisfying story overall than donna#who was a super super strong character with super good chemistry but her eventual arc just never landed with me#I think maybe partially because I liked how down to earth human she was and then they made her. yknow not totally human with a lot more#large scale cosmic significance#anywayyy#I also think Martha’s dynamic with the doctor made more sense overall and had more of a narrative destination to it than amy#who’s romantic tension always felt super weird to me considering the childhood aspect to their relationship and uhhh yeah#Martha’s dynamic wasn’t wholesome wasn’t functional but felt organic and made sense. like there’s a very clear reason WHY he’s like that and#that reason never feels Right or Justified.#oh shit I just passed a huge fucking crime scene on the bus#ok one last note. i wanna double down on it (the doctor treating everyone as a second#class citizen to rose once he loses her) being framed in an intentionally bad light using the additional contributions of Jack#ESPECIALLY if you’ve watched torchwood but even if you haven’t. her and jack are in very similar situations with the doctor and that is#brought up outright and is a big part of their bond being what it is. and!!! they end the season on the same sort of note- finding self#worth outside the doctor and prioritizing the people who Really need and care about them (Martha’s family. Jack’s team.)#that’s a big part of what the season leads up to and it wouldn’t be possible without the doctor being written as emotionally#neglectful For A Reason#and all of it works pretty well to set up for the next companion who is Strictly not a romantic interest and that’s the only reason they#Work.#gdhgshdhdhh sorry I just. I don’t like seeing Martha’s season summed up to just. ‘she was mistreated!’#like yes she was. characters do not solely experience Good Pleasant Relationships and do in fact have challenges to overcome#which. importantly. she does very much overcome
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