#which is something i have to think about for obvious reasons. taking that

[ddingdd0ngz]

— when you change your lockscreen and it's not them

900 words • fluff & jealousy. feedback + reblogs are highly appreciated.

Heeseung (이희승)

You’d always kept that picture of Heeseung in the studio—headphones on, eyes focused—as your lockscreen. It was so him, so yours. But one day you’d switched it to a standard phone wallpaper and he noticed immediately. «Babe? You took my picture off?» he asks, trying to sound casual, but there’s a hint of worry in his voice. «Oh, yeah, I was with my parents yesterday and—» You stop when he nods, already guessing the reason—only your closest friends know about the two of you. «But… you’re not seeing them today, right?» he says with those big doe eyes. You smile. «No, I’m not. I’ll put you back right now.» His shoulders relax instantly, and when the photo lights up on your screen again, he leans in with a smirk. «Good. I was starting to feel replaced.»

⋆°｡⋆

Jay (박종성)

«Baby, I can’t find my phone—can I use yours for a sec?» Jay asks, and you nod while straightening your hair. «Babe?» His tone makes you turn instantly, thinking something’s wrong. «Yeah? What happened?» He stays silent, just turns your phone toward you. Your brows knit together in confusion until you see the lockscreen—and his frown. «Why am I not your lockscreen anymore?» You remember you’d had that picture of his hand resting on your thigh. «Oh, I got a new phone and haven’t set it up yet. Don’t worry,» you say, but he’s already walking over. «Mh, fine,» he murmurs, running his hand through your straightened hair. A second later, he steals your phone, snaps a quick selfie of him kissing your cheek, and changes it himself. «There. Fixed.»

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Jake (심재윤)

Here comes the puppy—Jake shuffles toward you, sulky eyes in full force. «Y/N! Why am I not your lockscreen anymore?» he asks, almost heartbroken. «Oh… I wanted to change it but didn’t know what to put,» you reply, taking your phone in hand. He sulks even more. «Change? Why? Don’t you like me anymore?» You laugh. «No! What are you even saying! I just couldn’t decide which picture of you to use.» He perks up instantly. «Oh, then don’t be undecided—here, cheeseee,» he says, flashing a smile and holding up a peace sign right in front of you. You snap the photo, grinning. «Okay… this one’s perfect.» His satisfied smirk when he sees it set as your lockscreen again tells you that was all he wanted.

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Sunghoon (박성훈)

«Y/N… are you cheating on me?» The question makes you jolt upright—you’d been seconds from falling asleep. «What? No! Why would you say that?» You flick on the lamp, finding him sitting with his arms crossed, brows furrowed. «Are you sure? You’re lying, aren’t you? Who is he?» he presses. You place a hand over his. «Sunghoon, are you okay?» You can’t imagine what’s got him so worked up. «You… changed your lockscreen.» You groan, pressing a palm to your forehead. «Sunghoon! That doesn’t mean I’m cheating on you! I restarted my phone and it reset. When did you even notice?» — «This morning.» And suddenly his unusually quiet mood today makes sense. «Well, you should’ve checked again,» you tease, showing him that yes, his picture is back. He relaxes under your kiss to his forehead, muttering, «Don’t do that again.» You smile. «Not unless you want to see me on your lockscreen too.»

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Sunoo (김선우)

«Sunoo, love, can you set the timer for the sheet mask?» you ask, pressing the fabric gently over your nose. «Sure,» he replies, but a moment later he’s walking toward you with your phone in his hand. «What is this, Y/N?» — «My phone?» you say, obvious. «Yeah, I know that. But where’s my beautiful face?» His dramatic tone makes you laugh. «Sunoo!! Your beautiful face is right here in front of me! Who cares if it’s not on my phone?» He crosses his arms, pouting. «Change it. That’s what couples do. See? I have you,» he says proudly, showing you your picture as his lockscreen. «Okay, sorry, I’ll put you back right now.» You turn the screen toward him. «Happy now?» — «Mh, yes… but to make it up to me I’m stealing one of your sheet masks,» he grins, already picking one out.

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Jungwon (양정원)

You went to their concert almost undercover, because rumors about the two of you dating were already spreading. After the show, you rushed backstage and hugged him tightly. «You did amazing!!» you cheer, and he lifts you off the ground. «Right?» «Yes, I took so many videos of you, look,» you start to pull out your phone, but he stops you immediately. «Y/N… did you remove me from your lockscreen?» — «Oh, don’t worry, I was scared they might see and…» you explain, and he smiles, a little bittersweet—the weight of not being free to love each other sits heavy on both of you. «It’s okay… you can put the one you just took now.» You beam. «Yes, look at this one! You were blowing me a kiss, right?» —:«Yeah… it was for you,» he laughs, and you hug him tighter, promising yourself you’ll always keep him close—at least on your screen.

⋆°｡⋆

Ni-ki (니시무라리키)

You were lying in bed, music playing softly, when you grabbed Ni-ki’s phone to change the song… and noticed you weren’t his lockscreen anymore. It had been a photo no one could recognize you from—except the two of you. «Riki? I’m not your wallpaper anymore?» you ask, a little sad. «Yeah… because I’m not yours either,» he says quietly. You raise a brow. «What do you mean it’s not you?» He sighs. «I don’t care anyway…» he hums along to the song, but you keep staring. «Oh, you don’t care… but you changed it out of spite? Tsk.» You grab your phone and show him. «By chance… this you, idiot.» It’s a blurry, messy shot of him—exactly the kind he posts himself—that he clearly didn’t recognize. You watch his cheeks flush as he scratches the back of his neck. «Hu… well… uhm…» he mumbles. You chuckle. «You’re cute,» you say, kissing his cheek, feeling the warmth bloom under your lips.

⋆°｡⋆

© ddingdd0ngz

[jesncin]

I'm coming at this as a long time fan of your work, so don't take this as an angry movie fan ask. Especially because I can really see and sympathize with some of your takes.

But the "brown people call out to their white savior" point you made was pretty weird to me. Honestly, I think you're the one focusing on race where it shouldn't apply. What was the take from that point? Is superman not allowed to save brown people in a superman movie? Is he only allowed to save white people? Isnt the point of superman that he's a global hero, and not just stationed in metropolis?

There's a reason those people called for superman and not any other hero, since he was the only one publicly fighting against that war. He's meant to be a symbol of hope. And honestly, I was a little grossed out that you had to point out the people's race for that scene, when it's clearly not the takeaway. And it shouldn't really matter, but I'll say I'm a brown person myself. Middle Eastern too.

That take was just weird.

I pointed out the race of those occupied people in Superman 2025 because I was criticizing the optics of it being transparently a white savior element to the movie. Also movie fans can't call this story "pro Palestine" and then turn around and say there's nothing about the way that the Jarhanpurians are coded and casted to imply race has anything to do with this. So commit to a reading, is this movie about anything or not?

Imagine if we used this logic on something like blue people Avatar: "Is Jake Sully not allowed to save blue people? He's a hero, which means he saves everyone. Is he only allowed to save white people then?? Why make this about race?? They're blue aliens, not even human! What a weird thing to point out." It's intellectually dishonest, and I think you know it.

Blue people Avatar is a white savior narrative because the blue Na'vi people are obvious stand ins for noble savage Native people (all played by non-white actors, some of which are native) and Jake Sully becomes the exceptional white man who is better at being native than even the natives themselves. Jake leads these helpless blue people to rebel against their evil colonizers. The white savior narrative doesn't exactly show either the natives or the white savior in a bad light- it's more so that the natives are monolithically helpless in a way that only the exceptional white man can help them. It's not as simple as "white guy saved the blue people".

The form of analysis you are applying to Superman 2025 is engaging with the logic the narrative hands you. The watsonian level- focusing on the technicalities of who Superman saves instead of how it's framed in the narrative. Look at it on a doylist level and interrogate how this story and its characters are portrayed. What does it reveal about the biases of the author?

If you are indeed a long time fan on here, you would know that I am a Superman Smashes the Klan stan. And that story features Superman saving all sorts of marginalized people. So clearly I don't have an issue with Superman saving people of color sometimes. So let's think really hard about what the difference between SSTK and the Superman movie is, for me to like one over the other. Shall we?

The Chinese American family in Smashes the Klan are named characters, centered in the narrative that talks about their oppression, have complex relationships with each other and the extended Superman cast, and have an active hand in driving the story elements forward. They're also not a monolith! They have different opinions about "fitting into America" and they butt heads with each other over this. The Lee family are afforded dimension and depth in SSTK.

Now what about these Jarhanpurians? Our supposed narrative stand ins for Palestinians. Disclaimer: I know James Gunn keeps vaguely insisting this isn't about Israel and Palestine, but if it's the takeaway 90% of fans are leaving with, we are engaging with this interpretation. Do we have a single named character from their community? Nope. Do we know anything about their culture, their history, and people? I certainly didn't upon watching it. Do we have any Jarhanpurian characters who match up to the depth the Lees have in SSTK? Of course not.

The narrative was too busy centering how Americans feel about the Jarhanpurians' struggle. Despite their struggle being a large background plot of the movie, the narrative doesn't care about how Jarhanpurians (Both diaspora and native. Though they're all native in this movie. They are a monolith) feel about being occupied. It takes until about 1 hour and 30 minutes in a 2 hour movie for us to actually see the Jarhanpurians. We'll get generic scenes of them being sad and helpless but that's it. Don't expect anything more. Heck, the movie itself forgets about them, often distracting Superman with dog-saving, baby-saving, squirrel-saving plots that push the Jarhanpurians further into the background.

Meanwhile the Kryptonians and the Boravians are afforded a fictional language that they get to speak in several scenes. The Boravians have at least one named character (Ghurkos), and a fictional flag! We even get to see the American flag waving triumphantly near the end of the movie. Interesting which groups are afforded characterization.

It's a pet peeve of mine when people call Superman a global hero. Like sure, he technically saves people around the world. But most of the time he culturally and narratively represents a lot of vaguely liberal American values, especially in this movie. James Gunn cannot stop comparing Superman to the US itself. Despite Superman's protests that he wasn't "representing anybody! Except for me! And myself! And good! Doing good!" Gunn comments that Kindness is an old fashioned "American value". "People did emphasize kindness in the past [...] that was always the center of the movie for me, and it wasn't about anything other than that." Gunn says. Even as the film struggles financially abroad, Gunn blames it on "anti-American" sentiment. So, classical American branded Kindness, is what this Superman film is about. To dislike this Superman is to dislike America.

That just makes the way Jarhanpurians beg for Superman's help all the more uncomfortable, optics wise. The vague-"Middle-Eastern" coded place is begging for the embodiment of American liberal ideals to save them. They hold up a flag brandishing Superman's symbol, for they have none of their own. They don't sing a Jarhanpurian national anthem as an act of resistance against the Boravian invasion. Instead, the John Williams Superman theme plays triumphantly.

Think about Superman as an immigrant allegory. In the movie, Clark disavows his harem-obsessed-conqueror oriental alien Kryptonian parents for his Kansas based American human parents. It's a "pro-immigrant film" but only if the immigrant disavows their Embodiment of Xenophobic Replacement Theory Fears alien heritage and assimilate into American branded Kindness. Does the S symbol even mean hope anymore? Can Clark truly reclaim that symbol when he's also disavowing his alien heritage? This is your savior for a foreign land? A hero that denies their foreign identity?

Here's one final comparison I want us to pull between SSTK and the Superman movie; have you ever noticed that Superman never identifies with the Jarhanpurians when he explains why he helps them? After a heated interview between Lois and Superman in the film, Lois tries to change the topic to one of social media and perception of Superman's image. Superman opens up that:

"I come from a planet called Krypton. Which is gone now, by the way. Destroyed. Along with all of my history, my parents, they sent me here as a baby to save my life."

How tragic that this moment of vulnerability didn't link to the previous heated debate for Jarhanpurian freedom. Superman doesn't say to Lois "After all I've been through and all I've lost, I'm not letting that happen to anyone else." Because that would INFORM his heroism based on lived, immigrant experience. Instead, this narrative opportunity is never taken. Superman's only defense for the Jarhanpurians is that "People are dying!" and therefore saving them from "war" is good. The most basic moral high ground for ANY hero to have. It's not a statement specific to the lived experience of Superman.

Now look at SSTK, a story that pulls direct parallels between what the Lees are going through and what Superman goes through when they have to hide parts of themselves to be accepted in America. It has a pivotal scene where Roberta Lee helps Superman realize he's been denying his full self to fit in. Because of her, Superman faces his fears and learns about his Kryptonian parents. He discovers they're not the scary-foreign-alien-invaders he pictured they were growing up. It may be an American story, but Superman is allowed to be foreign and unfamiliar in SSTK. He's allowed to identify with POC. This stops it from being textually white savior in my opinion. Superman may be white passing (and that's interrogated in the narrative itself), but he's allegorically just as foreign as the marginalized people he protects.

If the Superman movie ends with him rejecting the foreign alien parents and embracing his American human ones, that Superman can never identify with the foreigners he saves. They may be other humans, but they're not American.

I have one more really important anecdote to share. In the promotion for this movie, Afghan American actor Fahim Fazli thanks James Gunn for casting him as something other than a terrorist in the Superman movie. Fazli set a record for being the only actor to show up in 2 universe-franchise-starting superhero movies; the MCU and now the DCU. In Iron Man, Fazli portrayed Omar, a member of the Ten Rings terrorist group. He detains Tony Stark into making high tech weapons for them. Fazli is used to being type casted as a terrorist in Hollywood. Much like with the casting of Na'vi in blue people Avatar, the casting of Fazli isn't a neutral choice.

In the Superman movie, Fazli is credited as a "Jarhanpurian Village Leader". The other generic role he is usually type casted as. But no seriously look at the list, this is not the first time he was a village leader or village character. He's not even a named character in Superman. Let alone a village leader, narratively. The promotion blows this up, describing Fazli's contribution as offering "strength, dignity, and cultural depth to the new DC Universe." He is literally a background character. An extra. I had no idea who he played when I saw this promotion after my first viewing of the movie.

And you know what I learned upon my rewatch? In the final version of the film, Fazli had only one line of dialogue. In fact, it's the same line of dialogue all of the Jarhanpurians have. They chant "Superman, Superman, Superman!" An incredible encapsulation of how monolithically helpless they are. We don't hear a Jarhanpurian fictional language uttered in the film (unlike the Boravians and Kryptonians, who are afforded this characterization). Fazli had, not scenes, but 3 shots in total. 2 of which were a close up of him chanting Superman's name, and then one where he glances back at the Justice Gang arriving to save them. What a thankless role. Yes, there were rumors of a deleted "Middle Eastern" plot but it doesn't matter. The final product reveals the author's biases. This is what the current promotion of the film is disproportionally blowing up.

His character isn't even important enough for Fazli to be credited among the ensemble cast, much like he wasn't in Iron Man.

These are the two ways the whiteness of Hollywood sees characters like him, they're either the enemy or a helpless monolith of people meant to be saved. The white imagination can't even conjure up a Jarhanpurian superhero for this movie despite how normalized metahumans and human geniuses are. The film states that metahumans have existed for 300 years on Earth. And not a single one was a Jarhanpurian? How convenient! They can't have that, because then the Jarhanpurians wouldn't be solely reliant on their white savior Superman. No further characterization or dimension is afforded to these brown people, you exist just to be a plot device for Lex Luthor to ruin Superman's reputation with. It was never about you.

Meanwhile, in the real world. I look to the people these fictional Jarhanpurians are supposedly meant to represent. I see young Palestinian journalists who put Lois Lane's bravery to shame, I see a people who are so resourceful that they're able to get electricity back to stay in contact with the world, I see adults putting on clown costumes for kids' birthdays to make sure they find some kind of happiness amongst the genocide around them, I see them take in and care for stray animals, I see them celebrate Eid even when they're starving, I see Palestinian diaspora making art to preserve their culture, I see them get threatened for making films about it, I see the diaspora experiencing a communal loss so great they can't sleep or eat.

There isn't a single character in this movie that reflects the dimension and dignity of Palestinian people. They don't get a named character because it was never about them. It's about how good they make Superman look for noticing them.

[geminialchemist]

Deltarune has a lot of themes about freedom, choice, and the lack of having either of them.

We’re told outright multiple times our choices don’t matter. Kris themself isn’t in control of their own body for a vast majority of the game. Spamington Neo’s boss fight has him suspended by vines like puppet strings. The entire plot is determined and set in stone by prophecy. It’s a near constant stream of reminders that Kris has no freedom and is a puppet, and this is how they view themselves as well, with signs aplenty that it’s weighing on them.

Buuuut, I’m not sure that it’s due to the SOUL inside of them. That’s the obvious answer. That’s an unsatisfying answer.

Kris can remove the SOUL at any point in time that they wish, and frequently takes their anger out on it. Kris ISN’T part of the prophecy, the SOUL is, they’re just what carries it around. The SOUL did not choose Kris as its vessel, it made a vessel and it was discarded. Someone else gave the SOUL to Kris, linking them to the Prophecy. And Kris keeps the SOUL around despite their distaste for it because of the person who gave them the SOUL in the first place is making them keep it.

This doesn’t mean that the themes of being controlled don’t apply to the SOUL, but I think the reason Kris hates the SOUL so much is because it’s a constant reminder that someone else is pulling their strings in a less literal sense; the person or persons on the other end of that phone. We have three phone calls(Not counting Weird Route, which I haven’t done myself but know there is a different call you receive at the end of chapter 4 from a known character instead of the unknown caller), and I’m not convinced they’re all the same person each time. The first, in the kitchen, is clearly a recording, or a call Kris is listening in on, but was not meant for Kris themself, because the caller speaks of Kris, not to Kris. The second is one Kris makes themself, seeking help when Susie gets the guitar. The third, at the end of chapter 4, where Kris is about to sneak out their window without the SOUL inside of them, reminds them of a promise. It’s entirely possible that none of these three calls involve the same person on the other line.

Someone, an adult or adults in Kris’ life they trusted, coerced them into a promise to help with things Kris doesn’t want to do anymore, and was actively going to attempt to flee out the window before they got that last call. It’s implied that, through their connection to whoever it is on the phone, Kris knows the Prophecy in full, and so feels they have to comply, fate has already decided for them. It’s just another thing they have no control over. And whoever is giving them orders also must have given them the SOUL(it’s blue now, that’s my attack) with instructions on keeping it inside of them, especially in the Dark World.

The top contenders for the people running things so far is Carol and Asgore, but one I never see mentioned, someone who Kris looked up to, who is tied to all this business with Dess, who might have been close enough to be able to coerce a promise out of Kris is… Asriel.

Not only is it heavily implied Asriel had a relationship with Dess, which would tie him emotionally to whatever plot is revolving around her disappearance/possible death, but whenever you inspect objects that have to do with Asriel’s return, I can never tell exactly if the text fluff makes it sound like Kris is looking forward to Asriel’s visit, or dreading it. I’ve felt this way since chapter one originally released that there is just something a bit off about the way it’s written, and replaying all the chapters again has only made me double down on this idea.

I think everything that is happening is a plan to control one of the outcomes of the prophecy in a way to get Dess back, in a manner similar to how Gerson was revived, just more permanent. The SOUL will perish as a sacrifice to save the world, fulfilling the prophecy it is part of, but Kris might be spared, as they aren’t truly involved, they were merely inserted into the role of vessel. And I believe that it’s a combination of Carol, Asgore and Asriel that are pulling Kris’ strings to accomplish their goals. Carol to get her daughter back, Asgore to make up for his mistakes from when he was on the force(insert Asgore running over Dess with his truck memes here) with the hope that fixing things will bring the family back together, and Asriel to get his girlfriend back. And in doing so, they have stripped Kris of any agency, tied them up in a prophecy they can’t escape from after being inserted into it, are making them house a SOUL that pries away control of their body, making Kris feel powerless, alienated, and possibly violated, then guilt Kris into staying in this position until everything is over by invoking a promise they gave.

[putrecabra]

i wanted to do a little breakdown of how the songs on the playlist fit!! cus im a damn yapper lol. theres 30 songs so theres a lot of words under this cut and yet nothing insightful

1. SUMMERTIME OBERON

One of these mornin's you're gonna rise up singin' Then you'll spread your wings and you'll take to the sky But 'til that mornin' there's a nothin' can harm you With daddy and mommy standin' by

a goodbye to youth <3 and the setup of our over-arching bird metaphor. i think its so poignant that henrys house is right at the foot of radzig's fortress haha

2. I TALK TO THE WIND KING CRIMSON

I'm on the outside looking inside What do I see? Much confusion, disillusion All around me

henry has lines about feeling out of place in his village when discussing his heritage, which continues on in the game thru henry's outsider-ness. he can only handle the situations he can handle because hes both in and out, with and without

3. SAD TUNE THE WOODEN O

title says it all lol. wind instruments are heavily featured on this playlist for obvious reasons

4. MOMMA MOMMA MELANIE

Oh, sometimes I feel my life has come and then it's gone Sometimes I feel my life has come and gone I live in this world but I'm only looking on I can't understand, it's too far over my head I can't understand, it's too far over my head I'm living the life but I'm really dying instead, yeah

EVERY LYRIC! IN THIS SONG! IS HENRY TO MEEEEE! hes a babe lost in the woods! hes already dead buried under that linden tree! its too far over his head!!! and his mommas not there to wake him

5. SUNDAY NICK DRAKE

more moody wind instruments. i think this playlist can be described as moody jazzy medieval whimsy lmao

6. NOTTOMAN TOWN OBERON

She stood so still, she threw me to the dirt She bruised my hide and she teared my shirt From saddle to stirrup, I mounted again And on my ten toes I rode over the plain

more social isolation, topsy turvy near-fantastical narrative, and all on a grey mare! the lyrics just really remind me of henry, as well as the general somber vibe really feels like the more sober parts of the game traveling along

7. SKY FELL JUDY COLLINS

The window fills your face With silver and grain, You're soaking up the sky I'll never see it again What will I do with the sky When it is empty

thinking about this song with hansry makes me want to [REDACTED] while i [REDACTED]. bro what if you were my sunshine LOL and my days are cold and empty without my golden light .... just saying

8. SISTER MARIE (INSTRUMENTAL) SAGITTARIUS

bro we are on a medieval adventure :) take my hand

9. LINGER LONGER (INSTRUMENTAL) COSMO SHELDRAKE

i think something bad is happening on our medieval adventure :( the next bunch of songs are instrumental and thus i dont have lyrics to discuss but they all, to me, work to set a very specific vibe and narrative. i hope its successful!

10. LES FUSÉES ALAIN GORAGUER

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11. DANDELION WINE BILLY GOLDENBERG

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12. IN THE HEART OF A ROSE JEAN-JACQUES PERREY

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13. DIDN'T YOU HEAR? MORT GARSON

Did you ever feel like someone you never got to know? And to the one that walks around inside your clothes— Didn't you hear? There are signs in the sky

more reflection on henry's identity, especially after finding out who his father really is. radzig is half of who he is but he doesnt even know him. also dream metaphors because of course! poor henry our waking dreamer

14. THE EQUESTRIAN VORTEX BROADCAST

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15. L'OURS MUSICIEN VANGELIS

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16. BREAK OF DAWN SVEN LIBAEK

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17. FROM ME TO YOU JANIS IAN

You're more than beginning You're learning to fly You feel like you're falling But it passes in time

this is another "every lyric" song, it all reminds me of him!!!!!!! BIRD METAPHOR!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

18. STOP! I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE MELANIE

Now all the things that you defend Are what you hide behind Well, you sing yourself to sleep each night By sayin' everything takes time

just a reflection of henry's general attitude. i love my rambunctious lil knight and how hes always so ready to throw down or get it done

19. LOUNGE ACT NIRVANA/MURDER BY DEATH

We've made a pact to learn from who Ever we want without new rules And we'll share what's lost and what we grew They'll go out of their way to prove they still Smell her on you

i already did a whole ass comic about this song LOL. why are you gay

20. BANG BANG (MY BABY SHOT ME DOWN) CHER

He wore black and I wore white He would always win the fight Bang bang, he shot me down Bang bang, I hit the ground

this is actually hans POV. getting owned over and over by a peasant must do some crazy things to you. also small black knight reference. do not ask for whom the wedding bell tolls. IT TOLLS FOR THEE

21. TAKE TO THE SKY JANIS IAN

I had to stay, I had to stay I cried a river to the empty sky Someone deliver me by and by I'll fly away, l'll fly away It don't take nothing to be lonely It comes too easy to be holy It does nothing for the soul But tear holes in tomorrow

how does she fucking do it

22. A MELLOW MOOD FOR MAIDENHAIR MORT GARSON

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23. BIRDS IN FLIGHT SVEN LIBAEK

bird metaphor hiyah 🕊️

24. LADY OF THE DANCING WATER KING CRIMSON

Grass in your hair Stretched like a lion in the sun Restlessly turned Moistened your mouth with your tongue Pouring my wine In your eyes caged mine, glowing Touching your face my Fingers strayed knowing

so i actually see this as both about hans and bianca lol. like a sad, wistful look back at bianca and/or describing lazy days with hans. the bit about "like a lion in the sun" is just so hans to me haha

25. PRIESTS JUDY COLLINS

And who will write love songs for you When I am Lord at last And your body is the little highway shrine That all my priests have passed That all my priests have passed?

The simple life of heroes The twisted life of saints They just confuse the sunny calendar With their red and golden paint With their red and golden paint

if i were to make like an amv or pv or fucking something it would be to THIS. SONG. EVERY LYRIC DRIVES ME CRAZY. when i am lord of memories AND ALL YOUR ARMOR HAS TURNED TO LACE? DONT FUCK WITH ME 😭😭😭😭 (throws a chair out the window)

26. FRUIT OF DREAMS LES BAXTER

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27. COME TO MY GARDEN MINNIE RIPERTON

You know you've lived here all your nights, all your days You know you've lived here inside my mind You know you'll stay here, for this you've lived all your life You know you'll stay right here

pick me roses, peasant boy!

28. IRIDESCENZE EDMONDO GIULIANI

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29. PLANTASIA MORT GARSON

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30. RING THE LIVING BELL MELANIE

Been celebrating 'way too long An' I've been drinkin', I'm ashamed to tell Still feel thirsty God I want to drink the water from the well

i feel rather hungry :) and also celebrating living. YAHOO!

thank you for reading if you ...for some reason read this LOL and thank you for the saves on spotify! i wasnt expecting any bahahaha. insane rant over <3

today i am finally delivering my henry playlist..!

very hansry and the most in your face bird metaphors ever. folk+electronic heavy and 1 hr n 33 minutes. i made this for when im playing kcd, reading about kcd, or drawing kcd and i invite you to do the same ^^ i wanted to create the vibe that youre watching a 60s-70s medieval fantasy style film

take a listen, skip the many lyricless songs if youd like, vibe with me, n tell me what you think if you so desire :] 💚

[valeisaslut]

omgg!! i have so many questions about baby ellie n reader. WHAT DID JOEL THINK OF READER AND HOW DID ELLIE TELL HIM THAT READER N HER WERE TOGETHER or was it just painfully obvious. i love this so much

omg stoppp i love this question

joel had always thought reader/you were a little dramatic — the kind of kid who could turn forgetting a pencil into a monologue about injustice — but he secretly found it funny, even endearing. you balanced ellie out in ways he never could. after her mom died, ellie had sunk into herself, quieter, harder around the edges. then you came along, all stubborn brightness and messy passion, and suddenly his girl was smiling again, rolling her eyes less, actually laughing at the dinner table. joel noticed how ellie’s shoulders sat a little looser when you were around, how she looked at you like you were sunlight sneaking through a cracked window. in his eyes, you were perfect for each other—two awkward, loud, ridiculous kids who somehow made sense together. and though he’d never say it out loud (at least not then), joel was grateful. you were proof that ellie still had a reason to reach for joy.

and i wrote a tiny little thing of how joel found out they were together:

you were both fifteen, sitting at joel’s dinner table, trying to act normal while being the least subtle teenagers alive. joel’s made something simple—spaghetti, probably, because it’s cheap and fills up the bottomless pits you two call stomachs. you and ellie are side-by-side instead of across from each other, which already sets off his dad radar. you’re nudging knees under the table, sharing the parmesan shaker like it’s a love language, and failing miserably at hiding the dumb little smiles every time your eyes meet.

joel clears his throat, the way only a dad can when he’s about to call bullshit. ellie, mid-bite of bread, blurts it out before he can even ask:

“yeah, uh… so… we’re dating now.”

the silence is instant. you freeze with your fork halfway to your mouth. ellie’s pretending she’s chill but her ears are bright red, and you’re about two seconds from sliding under the table out of sheer mortification.

joel just leans back in his chair, sighs like the weight of the world’s been confirmed, and goes:

“yeah. i knew.”

and then he takes another sip of his beer like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. you and ellie sit there, both stunned and embarrassed and kind of giddy, because apparently you’ve been “painfully obvious” for months and joel just decided to let you two catch up at your own pace.

ellie kicks your shin under the table, muttering “told you he knew.” you kick her back, trying not to grin. joel just shakes his head, smiling to himself like he’s seen this all before.

[vimehemii]

more he xuan ramblings (spoilers for tgcf vol. 4-6)

I know one of the most popular interpretations of He Xuan in fanon is that he had known all along that Shi Qingxuan had received his fate, but a part of me wonders why so little posts, discussions, fics etc explore the other possibility - the one provided in the book, according to which although He Xuan had been keeping tabs on Shi Wudu and trying to figure out what exactly happened, he did not know the full extent of the truth until the information was deliberately leaked to him by Jun Wu in order to trigger the Black Water arc and get rid of Shi Wudu.

i'm not trying to invalidate the other theory, because when it comes to He Xuan there is so much we don't know that we can only speculate and that just makes his character more intriguing and fun to analyse. But I guess it's a little odd to me that the fandom seems to have accepted just one interpretation, as if it's canon and not simply one of the theories. I went back to the novel countless times to find evidence of that being true (cuz I was like... did I miss something when I was reading lol), and we actually do not learn anything that would suggest that He Xuan somehow absorbed all of the Reverend of Empty Words' memories upon defeating and consuming him, it's just a popular fanon assumption. I guess it makes sense that He Xuan would have been smart enough to figure it all out even without Jun Wu's tip. And perhaps he really did. But... why is the alternative never explored, even though it's the most obvious explanation and one offered by Hua Cheng, who is typically a reliable source of information throughout the novel?

Usually whenever Hua Cheng comes up with a theory, it is meant to point us towards the truth. Xie Lian's POV is misleading at times, but Hua Cheng's deductions are usually pretty trustworthy. Why did the fandom collectively choose to dismiss it as obviously incorrect...? What if it is what really happened?

I hope this doesn't come across as an attack, because ultimately we don't know what exactly happened behind the scenes, but after reading hundreds of fics and posts I'm surprised at the fact that only one interpretation has cemented itself as some objective truth about He Xuan and his motivation (e.g. all the popular memes about how he knew all along he had to take his revenge on Shi Qingxuan but waited and waited for one reason or another). We don't know that! There is so much we don't know for certain. And I think it would be super interesting to explore a scenario in which He Xuan doubted Shi Wudu and collected dirt on him, but did not know for sure whether Shi Qingxuan was involved - they seemed innocent enough, they cared about justice and fairness and never seemed undeserving of their divine status. We also don't know if Shi Qingxuan had ever shared their past with 'Ming Yi', close friends or not, my personal take on that would be that they were instructed to keep their mouth shut about that and never mention it to a soul, otherwise Shi Wudu would've had a stroke. Well, we don't know this for sure.

Another thing that confuses me a lot is the popular misconception that He Xuan became a ghost for revenge against Shi Wudu and Shi Qingxuan specifically. We know that at the moment of his death he saw Shi Wudu and found his presence deeply suspicious, which led to him returning as a ghost to investigate the matter. Even as he became a Supreme, he still knew nothing since it was prior to him infiltrating heavens. Years before he even met Shi Qingxuan or was aware of their existence (probably). Yes, he returned for the truth and for revenge, but it had nothing to do with Shi Qingxuan (yet).

[benevolenterrancy]

Shen Qiao continues to be the funniest character in this book, he saw the terrifying demonic cultivator suddenly acting all sweet and gentle and immediately said "ew no stop". amazing

"When had the Demon Lord — whose very name inspired dread, who was disagreeable and volatile, who reveled in mocking sarcasm — learn to use such a gentle tone, bone-deep with tenderness? He bent at the waist, then picked Shen Qiao up in his arms like a princess. Shen Qiao was absolutely appalled. Yan Wushi had a gentle smile on his face. Shen Qiao looked like he'd seen a ghost He'd only just thought this when Yan Wushi reached over and straightened his mussed collar. Shen Qiao jolted, this time not even in astonishment but terror. It was simply unbelievable that he'd gone to sleep and then woken up to Yan Wushi switching personalities entirely.

absolutely amazing couple of pages, I was laughing the whole way, can't believe it went from FIGHT ME, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE DYING to this, Yan Wushi I want to know what the hell is going on in your brain

[fuck-it-ghost-credit]

So this was actually a really clever car for the seller to have done this with. It was a single owner vehicle with no record of accidents and an ownership transfer to a 'dealer' one month before the sale. Vin data might have made it clear that it was an impound sale, but only if I'd asked for it well ahead of meeting up (which i should have)

I think if I was going to do it over, I'd only stick with cars owned and sold by obvious gearheads. Like, these are people who seem to at least generally understand car stuff at a glance:

At a minimum, these people could tell me about repairs done to the vehicles, and the second one is very open about what registering this car will cost. These people have written their ads for car people, or at least people who know what these posts mean. For comparison, here are the descriptions from my car and another one by the same scammer:

("Car fills up on $35" is something he said to me that wasn't on the listing, but my car takes 91 and has a 16 gallon tank)

(Of man i didn't notice until literally right now that the subaru is described as 4WD instead of AWD, that's another lie)

Everybody says that anything that isn't actively smoking "runs great," everyone talks about trim and AC that blows ice cold.

I'd expect the VW owner to be able to tell me where the turbo was done and why. I'd expect the Toyota owner to be able to tell me how they figured out the alternator was going

There were a few cars I found like this while searching and they all sold *fast.* if I was buying a car again I'd make a point of putting in more time and being ready to go for a test drive at the sellers convenience.

So that's one thing, but the other thing is that I'd be more willing to call out a lie.

My car does not sound good. It doesn't sound fully functional or in excellent condition. When he showed up and it sounded like that, I should have said "bullshit, that's not in excellent condition, I'm not buying that" regardless of what he said was making the noise.

Also.

This is super embarrassing.

I'd have Large Bastard check the odometer and any other descriptions of mileage. The mileage in the listing was 189,000. The car has 198,000 miles. I didn't notice that the number was wrong because dyscalculia is really, really frustrating. That was a lie, but one that I couldn't parse in the moment.

I actually don't feel too bad about the stuff we missed because that was basically all stuff that wasn't obvious until the car was on a lift, and all stuff that is reasonable in a car this old. The power steering, oil leak, and even axles (if he hadn't lied about struts) are all things that I think are fine in a $2500 piece of shit.

I think I'd also ask to drive it at highway speeds. That's a little funky to ask for sometimes because you're driving a car with a stranger and they don't know you or if you're safe to drive with so test driving in a private sale is more delicate than in a dealer sale.

The things that I'm mad at are the things that were lied about that might not be obvious while walking around and kicking the tires.

I would also try to buy a car when i wanted a car less. I bought that car after my car was totaled, when large bastard's car was leaking power steering fluid, while my mil's car was having alternator issues, and after my dad's car died when I was getting groceries for the first time after covid (and large bastard was out of town with his leaky car so his mom tried to come give me a jump and then I had to get towed).

So we had one totaled car and three precarious cars and I was going insane being unable to do stuff like "buy food" or "pick up meds" without worrying about breaking down on the way and i had been locked up in the house alone for three weeks (large bastard got back into town on Wednesday, i bought my car on Friday).

So. Actually. This was probably also pretty bad timing.

I wish I'd been able to buy a car in May or June or July, but it's been an insane few months.

I have to do the dmv transfer of this vehicle within 10 days of purchase to avoid fines and my brain is bad so I'm now recruiting the followers of this blog to bully me in the replies until tuesday august 19th.

Step 1: figure out what paperwork I actually got from the seller.

[cosmogyros]

That moment when you have to let people be wrong about you because correcting them would make you seem like an unbearable show-off

I was at a bookstore with a friend the other day and I was looking at a book in German that I was interested in buying, but then I saw that it was a translation and had originally been written in French

I commented idly to my friend "Sometimes I don't buy a book because it's a translation and I always prefer to read in the original language when possible" and she said in an agreeing-with-me way, "Yeah it would make more sense to read it in English"

and I realized she assumed I meant English when I said "original language"

but I couldn't bring myself to say "Yeah, or French or Dutch or Spanish or Italian or Portuguese or one of the other languages I read..." because like. who says that kind of thing.

[yukiicantdraw]

PART TWO BABYYYYYYYYY

so anyways in the first frame Jax seems happy and lets Pomni hug him

then fear and realisation

goes to action and reflex to push Pomni away

this could be a trauma response to when Ribit was around (or any of the previous characters like Kaufmo)

the realisation that he's getting too close with Pomni and the fear of both Pomni and himself getting hurt

maybe he thinks that doing things for others won't get him anything, so he prioritises himself and doesn't get too close? maybe he doesn't believe he deserves to be treated with kindness? who knows-

one thing's for sure is that Jax has an avoidant attachment style, how he treats others is out of fear and is also one of the common things that people with anxiety and depression tend to display

this type of behaviour is self-destructive and toxic but is not intentional or used to manipulate others. again, this behaviour tends to stem from a form of trauma and the underlying feeling of needing to survive

because of how toxic it can be, it's easy to mistake it as narcissism when receiving it. but in the end of the day, both narcissism and avoidant attachment is based on intention. but, that's a different story to tell-

Once Jax realised what he just did, he immediately tries his best to brush it off and keep his composure

he seems to mask his emotions a lot and doesn't talk about it due to the fear of vulnerability (Which I ironically relate to a lot-)

given how Jax acts all willy-nilly about Pomni betraying and shooting him, it's obvious he seems to expect those types of things to happen, this is possibly tied to why he feels scared to get close to anyone

maybe something happened to him in real life or while in the circus to make him just assume it's a default response people have for him

not to mention, Jax doesn't seem to care about being shot. which I know it wouldn't really do anything to him anyways since it's all digital, but it's telling how he doesn't even flinch at the possibility and practically welcomes it

it could be another sign that he feels like he deserves it and hinting that he hates himself, not caring if someone were to betray or straight up point a gun at him

this is from personal experience with having depression and self-deprecating humour is that when there's a situation that has something to do with me, I tend to just go "Ohhhh I'm making it about myself again" (actually that's how I feel as I'm writing this part-)

or even the idea of someone not wanting me around or even wanting me dead, I found it fair and reasonable

more often than not, it's due to anxiety of trying to defend yourself or even caring what happens to you. because by this point, you'd think you're not worth saving, caring about or keeping alive so

it's the feeling of thinking the people around you don't actually care about you, so why should you care about them? why should you care about yourself? why should you care about anything at all?

it's the idea of it not being worth it, of you not being worth it

this is exactly what Jax does here, he doesn't takes it seriously. making jokes about it, playing it off like a gag. because to him, it practically is

not because it's funny to him, but because it means nothing to him

it's also something he does to deflect things, by pulling off jokes and making what he's saying seem more lighter than what t actually is

everything ties back to his fear, something which even Pomni calls him out for

Jax also mentions about not looking forward to thinking about the things he told Pomni, Implying he tends to overanalyse the things he tells others; especially the things about himself

IM GOING FERAL I HATE MY LIFE

okay SO I just watched the new episode of tadc and I'm goNNA LOSE IT

Spoilers for TADC episode 6, mentions of depression and suicide

anyways THEORY TIMEEEEEEEEEE

OKAY SO what I notice is that the whole episode's theming seems to be about choice, accepting what you are, the relationships between the characters and mental health. all of which was painted in the positive and the negative side

I'm gonna be talking about Jax in particular because how he was in this episode hit TOO close to home-

first thing that I noticed was that he hesitated while explaining to Pomni here, showing that he was mainly projecting here. he's not wrong about how Pomni felt, but he was still projecting nonetheless

this type of behaviour seems to pop up a lot with Jax. some are subtle while others are not as much

this habit of Jax's will be important later on

as I've said before, these are one of the themes I noticed in this episode; accepting who or what you are

I'll get to how the other characters handle this idea on a different post. but contrary to the others, Jax paints the idea of accepting who or what you are as an almost negative thing

yeah he says there's no point in pretending, but he means it in a way where "if you're a terrible person, then you're a terrible person. why fight it?"

despite this, when Pomni jokingly calls him out for how he acts around the circus, he seems almost offended

it could possibly because, yes, he believes if you're a terrible person, you're set as one

but the fact that Pomni sees HIS actions as terrible, even in a joking manner, it almost feels like he knows he's terrible but being told he is makes it worse somehow, like telling him something that he already knows

same instance happens here, being treated as if he's ACTUALLY doing bad things just for the sake of being bad

and yet he doesn't deny or agree, Jax just gets angry at Ragatha by shooting her multiple times

his response might've sparked due to this being the type of thing he tells himself, hearing it from anyone else is the last thing he wants or needs

because of these two instances, Jax seems to disassociate the moment he looks at Ribit's crossed out door

he actually does this again later on too-

[qtubbo]

Ive actually been trying so hard at trying to figure out why people think qphil doesn’t care about qtubbo, and I mean specifically care nothing else. Cause you can argue tubbo’s not one of his most important people that’s fair, but also you don’t have to be at the top of a list for them to care. It’d also be really hard to argue that he doesn’t trust tubbo, and in that same vein not respect him at all. Their relationship is very complicated, and it is true that it’s way more onesided than people like to admit, but it’s not like Phil has just shown Tubbo zero attention or love. My best guess so far from all I’ve seen it’s because Phil fundamentally doesn’t understand who Tubbo is as a person, and has this very shallow view of him. So people have taken Phil’s mischaracterization of Tubbo as a sign that he doesn’t actually care for the real Tubbo? Idk I like to figure out how fandoms think… (oh also if you have your own ideas why just like tell me I’d love to know)

[designernishiki]

I will maybe make a bigger post at some point about other characters’ dnd classes but. thought about it. kiryu would be a battlemaster fighter multiclassed into oath of vengeance paladin. end of statement

[chronurgy]

Also re: this post about Malakai and cassia's relationship, I think it's kinda pushing me toward the master of whispers ending for heinrix. Because the whole point of it is that the existence of this true love is what drives them apart, and I don't know that Malakai and heinrix ever really love each other. Heinrix for sure doesn't love Malakai at first, and even when he says he loves them I'm not convinced that he isn't conflating obsession and loving the feeling of the attention they give him with actual love, even as that obsession does become less dark over time (in my canon. This analysis only applies to these two characters in specific). I'm also not sure Malakai ever comes to love heinrix - they're certainly no longer actively afraid of him, but I think there's always this underlying element of them encouraging his obsession as a way of protecting themselves from him. They don't ever really trust him (though they don't really trust most people in all fairness) and they certainly don't listen to him (ie they'll hear his advice but almost never actually take it).

Ultimately I gotta go through the game one more time and let things percolate a bit before I really decide, but I figure if love is destructive to the close personal relationship, then a lack of love will allow Malakai and heinrix to lock themselves into a horrible rictus of something like a close relationship. I also like the way it leaves Malakai without a counterbalance for power in the new protectorate, since I also think their overall game arc is a little bit of a corruption arc where they willingly take on massive amounts of power and gain a willingness to make earth-shattering decisions that affect millions of people based on what they think is right, and damn the rest.

That being said, I also think there's something interesting in having the dinner scene where heinrix is ready to make a love confession and because of Malakai's complete refusal to engage he doesn't do it. Then they have this weird hot/cold relationship where he's lord inquisitor and they're the head of this new protectorate and it's just a toxic mess. They both want the other to pay attention to them but also are kinda angry with the other and it's just bad but they can't let go, especially as they're now something like each other's only equal/last connection to a previous self.

[bakug0uzb1thc]

Katsuki Bakugou x Fem! reader

Suggestive !!

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

This photo just gives off Katsuki- idk he likes that you guys are on a certain level of comfort in your relationship where he can touch you wherever and you don’t protest his actions or shy away from him.

This might be a bit ooc but he loves giving subtle touches, he thinks he’s so slick when he lightly grabs your waist when he reaches over you to grab something from a shelf or when he kisses you and takes a nice whiff of your scent .

But when he’s being bold, he knows it’s obvious when he gropes you. (Completely consensual!!!!)

He’s so nonchalant about it and it genuinely gets you going when he acts like it’s a normal thing (it is with you guys but you get what I’m saying.)

Most of the time it’s not even in a sexual way, he just likes touching you.

Doesn’t matter if he’s holding your hand or man handling your ass from the back he can’t not touch you.

You asked him one time if he was a ‘ass or tits guy’ and he just scoffed. he said “stupid ass question.” The only reason he said that was because he genuinely can’t choose, if he can have a hand on your thigh, ass or tits he’s happy.

“Mhh.. cakes..” he mumbled into your neck breathing in your sweet scent .

You were sat in his lap back against his chest and his arms wrapped around your waist. His head burried in your neck and his hot breath making the hairs on your neck stick up.

You both were supposed to be watching a movie but it just turned into you watching.

It was past his bedtime which made you roll your eyes— he’s a whole 17 year old with a bed time.

“Shhh the movie is getting good.” You didn’t care that he was literally attached to you, you just wanted to watch the movie.

“Nah. Freedom of speech.” He rubbed his nose against your skin, the feeling giving you shivers.

His hands once wrapped around you slowly crept its way up your shirt— and lucky for him you weren’t wearing a bra.

Just like that your shirt was crumpled on your chest and his hands filled with the meat of your boobs. Your top half completely exposed.

“You’re no better than mineta..” you sighed as he quite literally squished the plush skin of your boobs. Not one or two shy squishes, no this man was using your boobs as stress balls.

“Don’t care, yer fuckin soft. I live for this shit.” he continued his kneading, his head drowsy as he tried to fight the sleep that loomed over him.

“Pshh okay Kats, whatever makes you happy.” You giggled leaning more into his touch.

You would kill for soft Bakugou and it wasn’t even funny (he’d do the same.)

(I wrote this 4 TIMES FOR IT NOT TO SAVE, TUMBLR WTH.)

[docholligay]

Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?

Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.

Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!

But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"

Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.

I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.

Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.

But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.

Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.

Also, we don't censor words here.

[backinmyphase]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Thinking about how obsessed King of Curses Sukuna is with you, you, who was originally just a gift from a village.

Lord Sukuna, who is oblivious to the reason why he treats you differently, who thinks you are just the most intriguing person he had seen in years. He didn't know it was over for him the moment he saw your standing there, anger obvious behind your loosely mask. You looked at him with these challenging eyes and raised your head, making that snappy comment. Normally he would have killed you right then and there.

But he didn't. In fact he doesn't even know why he had burned down that village for you.

And now you were sitting in his estate, always with that scowl on your face.

Why did he allow you to eat with him? Why did he order you to eat with him? He doesn't know. But he didn't want you to eat without him, which he just can't explain to himself.

He couldn't explain why he made sure Uraume was watching over you. Didn't know why he gave you your own chamber, so many new clothes and why he gave you permission to go inside his library. Something inside him was just telling him that was right.

And that something inside of him was so angry to see you falling into yourself. To see you neglecting your health over weeks.

It was evening.

Like always, there was a big dinner prepared for the king and he had ordered you to eat with him. But you didn't touch your food, no you just sat there, looking at your plate to avoid his gaze. Oh, he didn't like that.

He stopped eating, narrowing his eyes on your cowering figure. "Why are you not eating."

"Not hungry." your voice was hoarse but still snappy like always.

"You need to eat."

He glanced at Uraume, who shook their head. A silent note you didn't have any sickness.

You picked at the food, but still no sign of actual eating. And god, did it drive him crazy. You were driving him crazy. Your never leaving scowl and your constant denying of everything he had laid out. He just didn't get you.

He didn't know why he even bothered. But he still spoke up.

"What is on your mind?"

You looked up at him. There was no scowl, like he thought, no there was just a shimmer of exhaustion and maybe frustration.

"What am I even doing here, my Lord?" your voice didn't have any sharp in it. "I'm no servant for you, no concubine, not even a jester or anything like that. Why am I here?"

Silence flooded the room. Because you had just asked the question Sukuna asked himself every day. Why did he even bring you here?

He was clueless. Or that was what his brain was telling him.

He inspected you, your almost pleading eyes and he didn't like how you looked at him. He didn't like the almost hopeless look in your eyes.

"Did you want to stay with these people, is it that?" he took a sip of wine.

"No, we both know it's not that." you muttered, taking a deep breath. "Why do I not work for you? Why are you so -"

He raised an eyebrow at you as you struggled to find the right word. Then you finally shook your head.

"Why are you so nice to me?"

He couldn't help but chuckle, a grin following. "You mean, why has the King of Curses not killed me yet?"

You scoffed. "Yes."

"Well you see," he stopped for a moment, before speaking again. "I find you fascinating. And I like to know what I find fascinating."

You rolled your eyes, another thing he only liked when you did it. "So I'm here to be watched like an animal because the King finds me exotic, how kind."

He started to grow impatient, he didn't know why. "You think I would let a meekly animal into my library and give them their own chambers? You think lowly of me."

You started to blink at him, confusion visible on your face. It was his turn to scoff now.

"You're fascinating because I don't get you. And I want to know you. That's why I brought you here." At least that's what he thought.

You turned completely silent, your eyes now looking down onto your plate again.

"That's why you don't 'work' for me, I don't want you to. I don't need you to." he took another sip. "You just shouldn't get your hands dirty."

He looked at you, waiting for a response. Watching how you avoided his gaze, how you gulped. For a second your eyes flicked up to look at him, but went down immediately as your eyes meet his.

"Stop." you were muttering again.

"What?"

"Staring at me like that."

"Why?" He grinned, lowering his voice. "You know I like to stare."

He saw a faint tint of blush on the part of your face he could see. You were silent for a while until you cleared your throat. "I can't eat with you staring at me like that."

. . .

"Alright, I can leave you alone to eat." he stood up. "But you have to now. Eat."

A small chuckle escaped you. "Is that an order?"

"No, it's a request." With that he turned around, leaving to go to his chambers.

You waited til he left the room to breathe. Your body finally relaxing. You looked at Uraume.

"He sounds like he is in... Does he know how he sounds?"

Uraume shook their head. "No, he has no clue. But he wants you to eat, so please do."

@thequeenofcurses