#which is to say great in theory kind of meh in reality

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

Idk if this will make sense out of my brain, but I feel the same way about lux as I feel about Clara oslwald

[beels-burger-babe]

Obey Me Character Song Thoughts

***DISCLAIMER: These are my blind reactions to the song. They're my opinion and based off of my personal taste in music as well. You are free to agree or disagree with them as you please, just please no hate***

Lucifer / Arcadia :

Surprisingly, I really like the music in this. I don't usually like electronic music, but this one was nice. His voice isn't my favourite, but is still good. NOW THE LYRICS!! Oh dear. Oh my. Oh boy. I was not expecting to catch feelings for Lucifer today, sir. How dare you do this to me. Update: I just got to the second verse...He's a yandere. He is fucking yandere. He's still so full of himself as usual and I WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE BUT I ALSO WANT TO KISS HIM GAAAAAAAH!!!!! LUCIFER YOU ASSHOLE! UPDATE UPDATE: FINAL VERSE! AND THEN THE PRICK GOES BACK TO BEING A ROMANTIC CHARMING LITTLE SHIT 😡😣😖 Final thoughts: I- I- this whole song was a rollercoaster. I love to hate lucifer and hate to love him. I really do. This song embodied that perfectly. I did enjoy the song though.

Mammon / Are You Ready? :

Opening thought. I am not ready. Very not ready. Mammon is amazing in that art 😍.

Okay, now being serious, I'm sorry Mammon. I adore you to BITS, like so so so much. But this is exactly the kind of EDM that I despise. BUT, I bore through it and kept listening. I don't hate his voice, but he's sing talking. He's not quite rapping, he's sing talking. So it's meh. FUCKING UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: THE CHORUS!!!! THE MF CHORUS!!!! HE SINGS! HE CAN ACTUALLY SING (still not best but pretty good)?! AND THE MUSIC SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER THERE WHEN IT'S SLOW- ... ... ... the auto-tune on his voice on that English line 😤 WHY?!! I WAS JUST GETTING INTO IT!!!

Lyrics time: Honestly, it feels like Mammon got drunk, picked up a mic and started singing to MC, and I mean that in the best way possible. He's being honest in a way we've never seen him be honest before, and he calls himself a tsundere 😂 I love it.

Now the chorus lyrics: I love the chorus. It's so Mammon and just perfect. I love it. The lyrics just- *sighs* it's that possessive side of him that makes him the dork that he is. Okay. t-the lyrics...the lyrics also give me MAJOR suggestive vibes and I'm just here like 😳😳😳 MaMmOn PlEaSe WhAt ArE YoU DoInG?!

Final thoughts: The lyrics are also quite repetitive, which is another pet peeve of mine. All in all, it's not bad. It's just not for me. I'm so sorry Mammon 😭😭😭 That being said, I think it suits Mammon fairly well. Not perfectly, but good.

Leviathan / My Chance:

Opening thoughts: THIS TITLE IS SO CUTE AND IT'S PERFECT FOR HIM uwu Also, the vintage game-esque music is just perfect for Levi's aesthetic. Like, the light piano mixed with it gives me Undertale vibes?? Even before he starts singing, I just think it's really cute and it makes me want to hug him. Again, I'm not in love with his voice, but it's still nice. I do enjoy it.

Lyrics: LEVI BABY ARE YOU OKAY?! SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A THERAPIST 😭😭😭

Chorus: It's so sad, but this is Levi's reality. This song embodies him and everything he is so so so well. It really is perfect for him. But seriously bro. Let me hug you. And then we're gonna work on your self-worth issues because oh boy That last verse though. Oh my goodness 🥺🥺 It is the very definition of pining.

AND THEN THE FINAL CHORUS!!! HE'S BEING SO HONEST ABOUT HIS ANXIETY AND I JUST- 😭😭😭😭 LEVIIIIIIIIII!!!

Final thoughts: *clears throat, wipes tears that are totally not there* Right. So it's obvious that I enjoy this one. It just screams Levi and suits him so well and it also just breaks my heart so...yeah.

Satan / Read My Heart:

The piano. THE 👏 FUCKING 👏 PIANO 👏 So beautiful! The fact that his song is so soft and slow when he himself is meant to represent something so strong and violent is simply poetic. There are moments where I love Satan's singing voice in this and there are moments where I don't like it as much. HIS VOICE IN THE CHORUS IS MY FAVOURITE 😭 So sweet. So just- I love him. I love him so much.

Lyrics: So honest, but I feel that this is almost like a letter from Satan of all the things he wishes he could say. Also, remember that dork who can't say love words out loud headcanon we talked about earlier today? He literally confirms here 🥰🥰 Aww Satan

Chorus: AGAIN! SO HONEST WITH HIS FEELINGS AND HIM TRYING TO KNOW HIMSELF 😭😭😭 It's just so beautiful Stunning. I love it. This one hits all the markers for me. I'm calling it now. I think his lyrics are my favourite, and possibly my favourite song in general. It's just such a beautiful love song. Filled with what he so desperately desires but also his fears and it's so honest it hurts.

Final thoughts: This one made me cry. Like, literally made me cry. It was just so beautiful and perfect. I mean, there's a sad line that uses cats as a metaphor 😭 It's fantastic. Amazing. I can't praise it enough. Where I feel everyone else so far (except poor Levi, poor baby) had something that implied...suggestive things, Satan is just so desperate for love. To feel and experience it and everything that comes with it, and it's just- I love it.

Asmodeus / Pomade:

I actually really really enjoy the music here. It's more pop than EDM and I appreciate that. It's nice. Asmo's voice is also really pleasant to listen to. There's just something about it. I like it a lot. When he holds his notes, it just has this amazing sound and I dunno. I just like it a lot! AND HIS FALSETTO!! HOLY SHIT! AMAZING

Lyrics: I mean... It's exactly what I'd expect from Asmo. It doesn't feel like it's being sung to the MC though. At least not at first. It almost feels like he's singing to an audience at the Fall or something.

Chorus: It's a little more personal, but I feel like we're still only getting that one side of Asmo. We're shown in the second season that he does have insecurities and that there's more to him than being self-obsessed, and I'm kind of disappointed that the song doesn't show that.

Second Verse: We're finally getting personal here. Okay. The table has been turned and now Asmo is finally talking about how he feels about MC and that's more I like it!

Final thoughts: Now that I've listened to the final verse and chorus, I GET IT NOW! It's a story. It's how Asmo first felt like all that was there for him and all he was made for was pleasing the audience. Then you came and it was just a game of trying to make you fall for him, just like he had been able to everyone else. And finally, him realizing that it's him who has become captivated by you and that he loves you! It's actually really sweet and I love that. Sound-wise, this song is fantastic! The music really compliments his voice and it all suits Asmo's character really well.

Beelzebub / Hungry Six-Pack:

So ya'll already know I adore Beel and this ROCK MUSIC AND HIS VOICE MADE ME SWOON! His voice! His voice is FANTASTIC! And the music IS AMAZING!!! I just love the guitar in it. It's (pardon me for this) it's just so damn sexy and I love it so much! THE BRIDGE OF THE SONG IS DAMN HOT OKAY?! I CAN'T GET OVER IT!

Lyrics: What I love about the lyrics is that they confirm my theory of Beel actually being physically impacted by his appetite. He says that it can cause him to get dizzy and I'm just here like 🥺🥺 We really get a sense here of how Beel is actually desperate to stop this appetite. He hates how it impacts him. He hates how it impacts those around him. And I just - 😭😭😭

Chorus: It fucking slaps! The up tempo is just *chefs kiss* and I love everything about it. And the words 😳 Damn Beel...Damn. i love him so much even though if you really think about it these words HURT

THE SECOND VERSE WITH DRUMS IN THE BACK JUST MAKES ME WANT TO JUMP AROUND IN A MOSH PIT! I LOVE THE SOUND OF THIS ONE SOOOOO MUCH! IT'S SO GREAT!

THEN IN THE LAST CHORUS WITH THAT HIGHER OPTION NOTE THAT HE HOLDS AND SHAKES AND I'M LIKE 😍😍😍 GOD I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH

Final thoughts: As you can clearly see, I love this one. Now, lyrics-wise, I found a comment that really broke down the lyrics in terms of Beel's insecurity with his appetite and his sin and how he struggles with that and it made me appreciate the song all that much more and I just- I love this song. (The comment was left by Felix The Lemon on this if you don't understand the utter heartbreak of this song, please read this) Maybe it's my bias towards Beel. Maybe it's because it's rock. But this one, overall, is my favourite.

Belphegor / Dreamscape:

I love the almost lo-fi sound to it! It's perfect cause a lot of people use lo-fi to sleep. Very clever producers. Very clever. I both hate and love his voice at the same time and I DON'T KNOW WHY! Like it has a bit of a filtered sound to it, but what genuine sound I can hear through that filter is really really nice and I love it. I TAKE IT ALL BACK HIS VOICE IN THE CHORUS 😭😭😭 HE HAS MY FAVOURITE VOICE OF THE BROTHERS BY FAR! OH MY GOD IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!

Lyrics: GAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! OKAY OKAY OKAY!!! So! These lyrics are so great because it's showing that soft side of Belphie that I adore! It's not his teasing side, it's the side that only Beel and MC really get to see and I just- I love it.

The whole "I will always wait for you" for some reason made me think of when he was stuck in the attic where literally the only thing he had to look forward to was MC coming to set him free and update him on how Beel was doing. And then afterward, he had to wait for them to be comfortable around him again because he knew that he messed up and he had to wait for their forgiveness. And then finally, Belphie has to wait for them to notice his feelings, amongst the obvious more showy feelings of his brothers and to hopefully maybe choose him 😭😭😭 SO GOOD

Second verse is his insecurities and I just ao;dusg;bfjnaduoh;szvbjxaui;dvkjx AAAAAAHHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN PUT IN TO WORDS!! WHY DO I LOVE THIS?!?!

FINAL THOUGHTS: THIS SONG ALONE HAS CAUSED ME TO FALL IN LOVE WITH BELPHEGOR ADU;SFBKJACDZS IT'S JUST SO PERFECT!!! His voice! The sound! The words! It has it all! I know I just said Beel's was my overall favourite, and I'm so so sorry Beelzebaby, but Belphie takes the cake. We get his anger, his sadness, his fondness, HIS DESPERATION, IT JUST HAS SO MUCH EMOTION!!!! I CAN'T GET OVER THIS SONG!

~~~~~~~

The songs were all incredible and I love them to bits. I feel like I know the brothers better know and I know have more feelings for Belphie than I know what to do with, so there's that 😅😅 If you're still here reading this, thanks for joining me on this chaotic journey and dealing with my bullshit. Love you guys ❤❤❤

[themonkeycabal]

WandaVision Ep 4 SPOILERS

Yes, spoilers, 

Wherein I watch and say stuff that might or might not be worth reading.

After a little bit of a lackluster start, there was good story progress last week. An escalation of weird, which I appreciated. I'll probably have to relive it, because Disney doesn't want to let me skip the previously. Ever. Why are you the way you are, Disney?

Geraldine/Monica is made of whispery voices and swirling dust and such. Weird. She's sitting in a chair, sleeping, and apparently being reconstituted. She wakes to a hospital room but outside is chaos. Lots of yelling and people running about. There's like swirling dust or human confetti everywhere, and other people are being reconstituted left and right. Seems unusual. Not the sort of thing that normally happens in hospitals. Oh, are they being un-snapped? The great un-snappening. The un-snapapalooza. The fall of the snappocalypse. I'll stop. I guess we're in a flashback of sorts.

Dudes, Monica just like full on hip checked some dude into the boards. She didn't mean it, but, damn, that guy went flying. Nobody knows what's going on, it's madness. A doctor recognizes her and asks where she went and Monica's all "uh, what? I took a nap?" Napping and then snapping and then popping back into existence. Ain't that just the way? Oh, sad, her mom died while she was missing for five years. :(

Sentient Weapon Observation Response Division — please nobody expect me to remember that. They have a Cape Canaveral looking compound with multiple launch pads and a very large hanger smack in the middle. Gee how neat for them that they get to operate out in the open, Phil Coulson says (in my head) with a whole lot of sarcasm.

Oh, right, they called it the Blip. The Great Un-Blippening. That doesn't sound as good. What on earth with the massive monitors in the main lobby. Nobody likes watching the news that much. Monica is trying to brazenly walk through the front doors with a badge that doesn't work and wow, security guy is kind of a dick. Oh, she belongs there. Captain Monica Rambeau. Captain, good for her.

And now security dick is revealed to be even more dickish, since this is just after the Blip and she's trying to go back to work. Like, SWORD couldn't put out a memo "Be on the lookout for recently unblipped personnel. Don't be massive dicks to them when their security badges don't work, because of how they got blipped and all"? Also maybe a reorientation packet, or like a desk out front "Back from the Blip? Talk to Lt. Mandy Smith in HR about your reactivation options today!" I'm just spitballing here. I get it was chaotic, but that's no reason to let the unblipped get a rude welcome. It wasn't their fault Thanos was critically dumb.

Blip no longer sounds like a word.

Anyway, the acting director is fortunately there to meet her before she could drop her gloves and punch the security dick in the dick. Aww, Maria Rambeau is on the Wall of Valor, or whatever they call it at SWORD.

Things aren't going well at SWORD. The Blip put the hurt on the division. Their remaining astronaut trainees have chickened out. Oh, what if there was like crew up in orbit that got blipped and then when they unblipped five years later … yikes. Well, I'll allow the 'lost their nerve' may have a solid basis in horribleness that probably occurred around the Blip. I retract the 'chickened out' comment.

This is a very long walk-and-talk. Maria Rambeau built SWORD "from the ground up". Bless.

The Director has grounded Monica. Well, actually, her mom grounded her, making protocols in case vanished personnel one day returned. Lol. Though, I mean, I'd guess she'd know, what with Carol and all.  "I know it's a raw deal, but there is one positive takeaway. She believed you'd come back." Awww

So, she's off to deal with some sort of missing persons case in New Jersey overseeing the loan of one of their drones for the FBI. I guess Wanda will be the missing person. Yep, she's off to Westview. Which has seen better days.

Hey! It's Agent Woo! I like you Agent Woo! Did I know he was in this? I don't remember. Randall Park's great. A happy surprise.

Hmm, he has a missing witness. So, not Wanda, then. Hmm again. Agent Woo contacted known associates, family, friends — none of them have ever heard of the witness. A mystery!

Oh and there's another wrinkle.

"Pardon me Sheriff, would you mind repeating your claim about Westview to my colleague here?"

"No such place," he says, standing next to the 'Welcome to Westview" sign.

Hmmm, puzzling. Jimmy Woo can't reach anybody listed as living in town. So, wait, the town doesn't exist, except it does, but, nobody thinks it does, so where did he get the phone records for residents? The phone company was just like "here's your records for the imaginary city of Westview, all 3,000+ residents that never existed, and yet we have the numbers and we're just not going to question that". Weird.

"So you can't reach anyone inside and everyone on the outside has some sort of selective amnesia?" That does seem to be the case, Monica. Super odd. Agent Woo is very sanguine about the whole thing. He dealt with Scott Lang, I guess after that everything else is like, 'meh'.

"Why haven't' you gone inside to investigate?" A fine question, Captain.

"Because it doesn't want me to." That's just creepy, Agent Woo. "You can feel it, too, can't you? Nobody's supposed to go in." I guess this is where the drone will come in handy. Oh, it's the little helicopter that Wanda found in the bushes in the second episode. I'm going to pretend that super advanced SWORD drones would totally look like cheap RC toy helicopters. I guess that's a disguise?

Monica wants to know why she and Agent Woo are aware that Westview exists and nobody else is. Does that mean the Sheriff was standing next to the Welcome to Westview sign and just did not see it at all? He was just hanging out in the middle of nowhere with a weirdly laconic FBI agent who kept asking about the town that very clearly wasn't just right behind them? That's a little more than amnesia.  

Also, Agent Woo's hero was Elliot Ness. Of course it was.

Oh no, the drone vanished as it crossed the town line! There's an energy field around the town that looks like what happens when you push your fingers against an old monitor and get the weird pixelly rainbow. Agent Woo's all "please no touch" and Monica's all "yes, I think I'll stick my whole hand in there." And she got sucked in. Agent Woo's gotta be like "WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY EVER LISTEN TO ME?"

24 hours later. Darcy! Some sort of transport van. A trio of other suits in the back, plus Darcy. She tries to talk to one of the dudes and he's all "we're not supposed to talk to each other!" "Boy Scout leader, got it." Relax, uptight guy. Pfft, what sort of team is that? The rest give up their specialty. Aww, bless, she went into astrophysics. "We've got the full clown car." heh.

Boy Scout leader finally caving to peer pressure: "I'm a chemical engineer." Darcy: "No one cares." lol. Missed you, girlfriend!

And in 24 hours SWORD/FBI whoever have set up a little military camp. Oh a "response base". How banally euphemistic. There's like a whole bunch of agencies there, as well as Army and Air Force.

Dr. Lewis. Oh, I'm so proud. I bet Jane was over the moon. Saved from poli-sci!

Elsewhere another drone vanishes. Darcy darcys a lot at an uptight uniform who is breathing down her neck "make your assessment" and it's delightful. Darcy notices some high levels of cosmic background radiation and also something weird layered over the top of that. Hmm, she needs a tv. "An old one, like not flat." One with vacuum tubes, perhaps?

In another part of the camp, they send in a guy in a hazmat suit, down into the sewers, looking for Monica. I guess he'll be the beekeper Wanda tosses in ep 2. Jimmy Woo is not optimistic about that plan. He tells the SWORD Director all about it.

"Someone must really miss you back at Quantico." "No, sir, softball season is over." Lol.

All their high tech scanning is turning up nothing.

Uhoh, screaming. Oh, nevermind, it's the laughtrack. While everybody else was dicking around with the LIDAR, Darcy has tracked down the last tube tv in New Jersey and has tuned into the Wanda Dimension. Episode one is playing.  

Darcy is understandably particularly baffled by Vision. "Look, I know it's been a crazy few years on this planet, but he's dead right? Not blipped. Dead." Poor Vision. Alas.

Director wants to know if the broadcast is realtime or a recording. Or what? Darcy's like "how tf should I know?"

Jimmy asks the good question "So you're saying the universe created a sitcom staring two Avengers?" "It's a working theory."

Now SWORD fans out! And collects every ye olde TV on the eastern seaboard. Who doesn't love a good sitcom, amiright? (Me. Me do not love sitcoms). The Director storms off to wherever for whatever reason. I don't know, don't care. Jimmy and Darcy are on the case.

Darcy is IDing the other "characters" in the sitcom, who appear to be real people with NJ driver's liscenses, while Jimmy is wondering why the force field is hexagonal. You've got me there. And now we're montaging.

Jimmy ponders the big board of 'characters' and Darcy drops her cup o' noodles when she spots Monica in the second episode. He and Darcy discuss and he's like "is it an alternate reality, time travel, some cockamamie social experiment?" Darcy's all "it's a sitcom." A pure mystery.

Darcy comes up with the idea to reach out to Wanda via the radio in her kitchen. "Next time she's washing dishes — which by my count happens about once an episode, barf." heh. She tech babbles some and I'm very proud.

A minion agent runs up with the latest intel from the most recent episode, it's a picture of the SWORD drone that looks more retro (frankly it looks better than the 'real world' one.) Hmmm, such a puzzler. Why did it change, they wonder.  

Darcy Lewis and Jimmy Woo are a partnership I can totally get behind. Jimmy was the voice trying to reach Wanda. Darcy's watching the show while Jimmy's trying the radio thing. It's the second episode where Wanda's talking to Emma Caulfield and things go weird. Good. I'm glad they jumped us to the outside world by ep four. While I thought the first two eps were slow, I think maybe they'll work better once we can watch the whole thing at a go.

Dude is still crawling through the sewers. I completely forgot he was down there. And the field extends below ground and he just crawled through it and became a beekeeper, and his safety rope snapped and … became a jumprope?

And then Wanda wishes him to the cornfield. (I guess? We don't see what happens to him.)

SWORD is watching episode three.

"1950s, 1960s, and now 70s. Why does it keep switching time periods. It can't be purely for my enjoyment can it?" Guys, it's so good to see Darcy.   "I can't believe Wanda and Vision are having a baby." No really, Jimmy and Darcy, BFFS 4EVAH! They're eating chips and watching the episode. Delightful. Just delightful.

"Twins. What a twist." Jimmy gives Darcy a look. "I'm invested!"

Monica mentions Ultron and Jimmy and Darcy are like "Whoa!".

They notice the screen sort of glitches and then Monica is gone and it's the end credits. Like when Bee guy vanished. Darcy and Jimmy are confused. "Someone is censoring the broadcast." Yeah, Wanda. She's gone to the scary place, friends.

Alarms go off and they run off. But, we go into Wanda World the aspect ratio changes from 4:3 to 16:9 and it's a new angle on when Wanda went all scary at Monica, demanding to know who she is. And then, of course, she gets kicked out of Wanda World.

"Wanda, I'm just your neighbor." "Then how could you know about Ultron?"

Wanda brings up the glowy hands of scary. "You are a stranger and an outsider and right now you are trespassing here. And I want you to leave." And then she zooms Monica out through the walls and fences and fields and that looked like it probably hurt.

Oh gross. Wanda turns around and sees Dead Vision. The big hole in his head and his face all, you know, dead looking. She looks away and then he's normal when she looks back. Well, now this has turned all sad, you guys. "We can go wherever we want." "No, we can't." Sad. Poor Wanda. The aspect ratio goes back to 4:3. I’m sure Editorial was like “oh god, again?” 

"Don't worry darling, I have everything under control."

I don't think so, Wanda.

Good ep! My only real takeaway is that none of this is going to end particularly happily. 

So … Darcy and Jimmy, BFFS 4EVAH!

[iaintyourbro]

What’s your take on Cloud’s depression during AC? People on twitter are suddenly talking about this, again. This matter was brought up by those antis saying that we Clotis should accept the fact that Tifa wasn’t the one who “healed” Cloud and that she was also being mean and not considerate whatsoever. The funny thing is that, they also accused us of denying his depression and not understanding it. TF. Let’s be real, Tifa played a major part, in fact she gave him morale thx to her “scolding” lol

Hey anon.. 

Yeah, Twitter has me depressed today. I think it started last night. I was enjoying it for a bit, but the last week or two have been so bad over there with bullshit that I’m about to just take a break from the entire fandom. 

My Take on AC Cloud:

I watched AC when it first came out, and I barely remember it. I remember I didn’t like what they did. Why was Cloud so depressed and brooding? Oh Aerith is in this? Interesting. I felt like it was disjointed and removed a lot of the great progress Cloud made in OG. They kept this depressed, brooding guy in KH as well... It just didn’t seem right to me. I was young, too. 

At this point we also didn’t have On the Way to a Smile, Crisis Core, or anything else, really.. None of the Ultimanias were in English at this point. I also was not interested enough in going online. It was a weird time when I was playing other things and was meh on FF7 for a while. I was always a FF8 fangirl, so was jealous of FF7 at times hahaha. It got so much more attention and love. 

It took me a long time to watch it again. I remember my husband watching it before Remake came out and I felt mad or sad. It was like an emotion from memory, and I didn’t know why. I can’t describe it. I saw it on the TV and was like why is this on here... 

After playing Remake, I bit the bullet and ordered AC Complete, which had things tweaked and added. I also am now in my 30′s and have a lot more life experience.

Antis like to say Cloud is depressed solely because Aerith is dead and he wants to be with her. This may be one of the reasons I didn’t like AC, because when I did happen to come across some FF7 thing online, I’d see this shit and be like whatever, that makes no sense. 

I enjoyed ACC. My heart was actually pounding and I was nervous/intrigued by what was going on even though I knew the story. I haven’t read all of CoT yet, but I’ve seen the excerpts online, so I know the general gist of things.

Based strictly on ACC:

Cloud is really upset that Denzel is sick. He’s obsessively looking up medical stuff to figure out how to cure it - this is shown with everything all over his desk. He’s closed in on himself to do this. I did the same shit when my dad had cancer. I did it for three fucking years while he was alive - from the time he got diagnosed to the day he was dying. Every damn day I looked up articles, research, and theories. It’s not healthy. It’s depressing and I closed myself off from the world half the time and didn’t realize it. Thank God my husband is a patient saint. 

Cloud does care a lot about Tifa. His reaction alone at seeing her knocked out in the church is heart wrenching. When they’re brought back to Seventh Heaven, Cloud pops right up when he sees Tifa there. He then stays with her until she wakes up. This is a pretty good amount of time. The sun is up when he’s looking over her, and when she wakes up, it’s dark outside. He could have slipped out again without her noticing if he really wanted to. I’m sure he may have contemplated it. 

She calls his ass out on how he’s acting. She knows he’s sick at this point. This was huge for Tifa who’s not confrontational. He clearly doesn’t want to completely disconnect, or he would have gotten rid of his cell phone voluntarily. He doesn’t. They actually show him checking his messages. 

Ultimately Cloud leaves because he ends up with Geostigma. That’s the last straw. He can’t face the fact that he’s going to die and what it’ll do to his family, so he leaves. Listen, I think the only reason my dad didn’t try to leave when he was diagnosed was because he had nowhere to go and by time he started verbalizing wanting to leave, he was physically unable to. Yes, I remember him being angry because he was hospitalized again and he told my mom he was going to get an apartment by himself so she didn’t know when he was getting bad. It’s very hurtful to even think it, and even worse when you know they don’t actually mean it... They do it because they don’t want to see their family hurt. 

The setup he has at the church as his “living” area is super depressing. It looks like something a homeless person sets up. He legit was going to wait to die. He had a lot of knowledge about this, so he figured there was nothing he could do. 

Marlene calls Cloud out on his bullshit too. Cloud admits to her he doesn’t think he can take care of anybody. Marlene Barrret quotes him and it’s cute. I think Cloud appreciated it and I think it made him think.

In ACC, Cloud has a short conversation with Aerith. Aerith seems almost annoyed with him like “wtf is your deal, dude” kind of attitude. Zack shows up when he’s bloody and half dead fighting Sephiroth to encourage him. There are scenes with him talking at Zack’s grave and saying he couldn’t keep his promise to him. He flat out tells Aerith he wants to be forgiven. He doesn’t say I miss you, I want to be with you, none of that happens. In fact, it’s mainly her telling him HE needs to start doing some forgiving - ultimately to himself. 

When Cloud is in limbo - between living and dying - Cloud says “Mom.” Very romantic, I know. Then Zack and Aerith have a conversation very similar to a couple that’s going to adopt a child and they tell Cloud he’s too big for them. This is the “I see the light” and the person on the other side is like “nah bro go back, not your time yet.”

He wakes up, Tifa and crew is there, he smiles at Tifa... and it’s a happy ending. He sees both Zack AND Aerith at the end, and they walk off in to the light together all cute and shit.

Adding in Things from the Novels/Interviews/Thoughts:

The devs have said Cloud was happy with his family and that scared him. The happier he got, the more scared he got. We know he cherishes everything. He especially cherishes the family he has.

Cloud’s depression spiral started from the high anxiety of having a happy life and Elmyra asking him to deliver flowers to Aerith’s grave. Now, I have my feelings about this, but when I look at it logically, I don’t think Elmyra ultimately does this out of spite. I actually don’t think Elmyra thinks Cloud and Aerith were a thing - so it wasn’t that either. I think she knew Cloud was friends with her and maybe he’d want to deliver some flowers - to give him some business. 

This flower delivery reminds Cloud of what he thinks is his failure to protect somebody else. At this point he has his memories of what happened to Nibelheim, his mother, Tifa, and Zack. The Sector 7 plate drop and Aerith are the most recent “failures”. So this brings up Aerith.

Then Denzel comes along and he’s an orphan because his parents were... yeah... killed during the Sector 7 plate collapse. Double ouch. But Cloud and Tifa are going to take care of him.

Tifa herself has a lot of guilt because of the same reasons, she just deals with it very differently. Tifa tells Cloud to bring Denzel right home. She can make amends by adopting him in to her family and caring for him. Cloud thinks Aerith brought Denzel to him (Tifa corrects him). This is a Cloud thing, it’s not romantic. Cloud doesn’t know the guilt Tifa feels. He legit thinks all of this is his fault. Tifa’s guilt stems from the fact that Shinra drops the plate because Avalanche was in Sector 7 - she was in Avalanche. She feels guilty about Aerith because she thinks its her fault Aerith followed them to Don Corneo’s mansion. The thing is, Aerith doesn’t blame EITHER of them - I just wish they’d cover a Tifa/Aerith conversation about this as well... 

Cloud and Tifa do have fights in the novels from what I understand, but it’s because he’s acting weird. He feels bad hiding the fact that he’s been going to the church a lot, and I think that does turn in to a whole LTD debate. So you can take this as Tifa is jealous that he’s going to the church all the time or she’s upset that he is hiding from her. 

In the novels, Tifa has a breakdown when they go see the church after they defeat Sephiroth. This is where you get to see how badly Aerith’s death impacted her. So my thought is... Cloud thinks bringing her to the church hurts her because of her feelings, not because she’s jealous. I think Cloud is oblivious to the jealousy thing, honestly. Don’t think it’s a thought in his mind. 

I honestly don’t know the real reason why he goes to the church to hide. I think this is another point of fight with both sides. My personal take is there was nowhere else he could go and be alone. Most of the stuff had been destroyed. It was still close by, so he could still do his work and keep an eye on things/be nearby.

There is a quote that is taken to be literal, but I think it’s just a way to say it wouldn’t have mattered who Cloud was “with.” Yes, Tifa and Cloud have issues, and I believe the quote goes “Perhaps it would have gone better with Aerith, but I think her responsibility is too great. Maybe the children will help them with their issues.” This isn’t exact, but it’s the jist of what they said. The children do help them - that’s the point of the scenes with Marlene, to slap him silly with reality. 

“Oh but he sees Aerith when the building is falling.” Yes, you know why? Because he thinks that’s going to happen to Tifa. This is a “NO I’M NOT LETTING THIS HAPPEN.” moment. On top of it, I don’t think anybody would be right again if they saw this happen. If my neighbor was impaled by a large sword in their back, I’d be messed up from it. I don’t really know my neighbors. He’s not replaying this death scene in his head cuz he misses Aerith, he’s playing it in his head because it’s traumatic and he doesn't want to see this happen to Tifa. Especially Tifa. 

It’s been put in Ultimanias time and time again that Cloud’s feelings are for Tifa. I went through my Ultimania - which only covers OG - and it doesn’t say anything about Cloud’s side of the CA argument. It does say how he feels about Tifa in the Lifestream, though. 

The “He wants to die for her, see, that’s why he’s going to the church and waiting.” No, he doesn’t want to die or else he wouldn’t be so depressed. Just thinking this is fucked up on so many levels. If he really wanted to die and be with her, he’d be happy he got an incurable illness, I’d think... Cloud leaves Tifa and them because he doesn’t want to hurt him with him dying and not being able to stop it. 

The other thing that would be... weird... Zack is in the Lifestream with Aerith. They walk off together for a reason. I don’t think she’s going to just drop Zack for Cloud since the whole reason she was initially interested in Cloud was because of the similarities to Zack. He had the same sword, the same clothes, and in OG had some of the same mannerisms. I noticed the dropped the squatting in Remake - the random squatting.

The ending of ACC implies that now that Geostigma is cured and Sephiroth is (hopefully) gone for good, Cloud can be happy. I’m not saying that his smile fixes everything. I’m sure that him and Tifa had to work on things, but you can see in DoC that things seem to be much better - he’s more upbeat and happy. He’s more dorky, like he should be. 

Sorry this is long. I have a lot of feelings about all this stuff today. I’ve been seeing the fights over on Twitter about it and.. yeah. Cloud is depressed because of the fact he’s dying, his kid is dying, and he can’t seem to do anything right in his mind.

Thanks for the ask. 

[headlesssamurai]

Has everyone asked you about Jupiter Ascending?

@godzillaapproved

Yo, I ought to apologize to you for taking hella long to properly respond to this. It’s holiday season over thisaway, sure, but I ain’t nearly vain enough to assume just anybody gets why that can suck up a dude’s time. Reckon I’m sure there’s tons of national celebrations all over the world I’d never know about otherwise. Bah, I say! Going out and socializing is one of the few things more overrated than all those shitty Apple products. But yeh, in my case it was less the celebratory spirit of holiday festivities and more a sudden spike in workload, so my mental energy was roughed up by that, plus I was doing a new workout at the same time. Thus, whatever free time I had left was spent obsessively hammering away at the Steam sale items I’d recently bought. It’s like a coping mechanism. Well, that and cheap wine anyhow.

Regardless, regardless—holy shit what an obnoxious fucking way for me to open this up—this Ask of yours came at an unusually coincidental time. A friend and I have been meeting up every weekend to watch like semi-recent crappy movies just as a way to enjoy a bad drink and a good laugh. She likes to laugh, and I like to drink, so it works out. After working our way through every Transformers film by Michael Bay, then Cameron’s Avatar, Terminator: Genisys, The Amazing Spider-mans, Spielberg’s Crystal Skull, Ready Player One, and some of the more abysmal DC films, our last escapade into nonsense was the estimably hilarious Gods of Egypt, which reminded me of one of those excremental quicktime-event video games. You know, like Detroit Becomes Human or some shit like that (Oh wait, is it Detroit Coming of the Humans? Meh).

As luck would have it, like, the day before you asked me about it, the next film at which I suggested we take a crack was the Wachowskis’ own Jupiter Ascending, which my friend had not seen at that time. Nor had I, since first viewing it in theaters.

>>SPOILER WARNING: IF YOU CARE ENOUGH TO, UH… YOU KNOW, CARE

I was intrigued to give this movie another go. It’s struck me that I’ve got an odd streak of pleasantly enjoying movies a lot of people can’t seem to stand, or which some people even hate with utter vileness on the verge of hunting down the producers with a roll of duct tape, power tools, jugs of petrol, and a matchbook. I’ve enjoyed, for instance, Hardcore Henry, Elysium, and Joseph Kosinski’s Oblivion, all of which not one person I know in real life could offer a single word of kindness. After my first viewing of Jupiter Ascending, I was left to consider whether or not it was the sort of movie I should enjoy and allow others to hate and disparage, or if it just wasn’t that good. I recalled leaving the theater with a sort of “Hm” sound, and not much else. But given my history with rooting for an underdog, was I wrong? Is this movie actually good, or cool in some way? I couldn’t defy the sensation that I’d missed something.

The answer, it seems, is more complex than a simple yes or no. Then again, as Mason and Goat Han Solo often remind us, “there’s no nuance on the internet”, so even my assertion there about complexity may be in gross error.

For the unfamiliar, Jupiter Ascending is a science fiction tale with vibes of less-cliché aesthetic choices for its visuals, some cool references to UFO conspiracy theories, and aims at a more expansive universe that would no doubt have been further explored in sequels had this film been better received by audiences and critics. I’ll say outright, it’s a disappointment to me that we weren’t given the chance to see more films in this mythology, because there’s some really cool stuff going on in this weird, imaginative universe. The story centers upon the character of Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), an average working-class young woman in Chicago who is shocked to discover not only that aliens exist but that she happens to be the reincarnation of a galaxy owning empress, which entitles Jupiter to ownership of a large portion of the cosmos, the least part of which is Earth itself. But as the Aussies say, something’s a bit suss about the whole affair, and the wondrous glamour of this technologically advanced universe is concurrently party to a dark truth.

An immediately intriguing element of Jupiter Ascending is its attempt to set-up something which, while perhaps greatly inspired by a few other fictional works, is an original property, not a sequel, reboot, adaptation of an existing work, nor a spiritual successor to something else. Rather than merely being intrigued by this fact, I also respect it, because high-concept science fiction films aren’t something a studio likes to go for unless they have a preexisting audience, like adaptations of a book series or something. So it’s always bold when someone can cobble together the resources to really take a chance on something like this, even if it isn’t well received. After all that’s how films like The Matrix, The Terminator, Ridley Scott’s Alien, George Lucas’ Star Wars, and John McTiernan’s Predator come to be in the first place. Another example, I didn’t quite enjoy The Last Witch Hunter, but I recall respecting that film’s risk in its attempt at a new property for similar reasons.

Irrespective of your own personal tastes as a moviegoer and consumer of science fiction, it can’t be denied that the Wachowski’s are measurably talented filmmakers. Their doubtless skill at framing shots, blending effects with reality to present an integrated experience, and choreographing action sequences with such lethal precision it’s always incredible to watch; all of these things can’t be argued, and this attentiveness for the craft is all very present in Jupiter Ascending. Toward the beginning of the movie, there’s an aerial chase sequence that promptly accelerates into one of the most engaging, gripping action sequences in memory, heavily fantastical sci-fi elements intermixed with almost Fast and the Furious levels of insanity. The sense of gripping speed alone as two characters cling to the outer hull of a spacecraft was helplessly intense and left me quite keen to see what else the movie had to offer further down the line.

Additionally we have some awesome art design and stylistic choices regarding the look of this sci-fi universe, both the appearance of aliens and the design of their technology was familiar and unique at the same time. There are beings referred to as “Splices” which are intermixes of humans and various animals, giving some people bestial characteristics which are just weird enough to be cool to me without verging over the edge into absurd territory. There are cybernetic enhancements, gravity boots, phalanx style energy shields, neural synthetic wings, motherfucking jet-bikes of course and, though I never would have dreamed, motherfucking lizardmen! That blew me away, dude. Others may think it’s stupid, but lizardmen are one of my favorite sci-fi/fantasy creatures of all time, and they look so badass in this movie it was unbelievably awesome to realize I was actually seeing a proper lizardfolk on screen. With lizardmen and jet-bikes, Jupiter Ascending quickly marks two-out-of-five on my Generally Awesome Things I Like To See In Science Fiction list. It’s a real list, in my head, I swear.

The starship designs were inspired by art deco architecture in cities like Chicago, lending Jupiter’s cosmos a feeling more of Herbert’s Dune-iverse than something like Star Trek, which I appreciated since we don’t see that type of style quite as much. Top all that off with a fantastic score from Michael Giacchino and you’ve got some great tools to tell an awesome story.

So the thing is, it’s not just skin deep either, while the film does lean heavily on its visuals and action set-pieces, this is a genuinely interesting universe. Michael Bay’s Transformers, for instance, also has cool visuals, some passable action scenes, and dazzling special effects, but is it interesting? The answer is no. Because Bay’s movies, while briefly entertaining, are ultimately hollow. There aren’t any subdermal layers beneath the facade of spectacle. But in Jupiter Aescending there’s clearly something else going on, the touch of true filmmakers for one, yet also the potential for so much more. The groundwork, the craftsmanship and attentiveness is all here. It’s really what they choose to do, or not do, with that potential which ends up disappointing. Not, as in the case of Bay’s movies, the utter lack of potential for greatness from the start.

Though some fandom-card carrying ideologues may acerbically disagree, an acceptably comparable film whose potential for greatness was also mostly wasted for middle-of-the-road mediocrity is the recent Solo: A Star Wars Story, by Disney Interactive– I mean, by Disney behind the appropriated guise of Lucasfilm. Whatever else you think of that film, and while I agree from a mythological standpoint its very existence was in extremely poor taste, the talent, the production value, the mark of the craft was there. None of this was, however, capitalized upon to create anything truly profound. Jupiter Ascending’s unfortunate drawbacks are of a similar form.

I’d like to state emphatically however, I’m not trying to punish the film nor act as its apologist. Reckon I always end up saying this, but I am really just some dude. Sure, I read a lot of books and stuff, but that doesn’t appoint me some grand authority on the subject of fiction. These thoughts I try to convey in my write-ups are meant merely as opinions, framed in the form of investigating the quality of a film or game or whatever. To that end, I’m compelled to side with most folks in that, whatever else its got going for it, there’s some major deficiency holding back Jupiter Ascending from rising to a higher form of entertainment. So if the production values are high, where’s the casus belli all the angry critics are seeing here?

To puzzle that out, we ought first to determine by what criterion a truly good story is shaped. In that regard it’s likely the wisest to begin by reckoning what sort of story we’re dealing with here. Most people are wont to jump straight to the whole Hero’s Journey every dickhead YouTube reviewer read about in some sparknotes book while using the shitter at Barnes & Noble. But Joseph Campbell’s mimetic architecture isn’t the only sort of story that exists, not even in science fiction. Consider, for instance, anything written by H.P. Lovecraft, Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain, Kubrick and Clarke’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, Jonathan Glazer’s Under The Skin, Philip K. Dick’s various works, Andrei Tarkovsky’s Stalker, Stanisław Lem’s Solaris, Alex Garland’s Ex Machina, or Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar. These stories, while very sci-fi in their scope and measure, are far more introspective, and very contemplative when contrasted against fiction of the more traditional heroic adventure genre. Hell, even Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Troopers while appearing a mindless war movie on its surface is fundamentally a cautionary allegory. While conquering adversity is certainly a theme of its own within each of these stories, the breadth of that adversity’s effect on the narrative varies wildly, as well as the nature of adversity each character must face. Other heavier components, like displacement, post-humanism, philosophical allegory, are also usually present in such stories.

All of this likely seems a bit excessive to point out, but I promise it’ll get relevant later. But, uh… yeh. The next time some liberal arts asshat tries to tell you there’s only one real way a story can go, you can be safely justified in telling them to get bent. I mean read, yeh, tell them to read more shit, and watch more movies. That’d probably be more productive. But also tell them to get bent, the fuckers.

There can also, however, be stories that blend styles. The 2004 rebrand of Battlestar Galactica incorporates several philosophical elements, self-reflective, and meditative thematic ideas into its narrative of what would otherwise be a fairly standard science fiction conflict in outer space. The Wachowskis’ own The Matrix is a perfect example of a classic hero’s journey which also incorporates introspective themes into its lore, plot, and mythology, wherein the internal conflict of the protagonist is just as important as whatever external adversity he is meant to overcome. Where Battlestar Galactica 2004 uses its thematic material to craft a sci-fi adventure story, The Matrix uses a sci-fi adventure story to explore its thematic material. Seen in that light, I think the Wachowskis wanted Jupiter Ascending to have similar weight to its narrative, but they ended up recycling a sort of “human harvest” idea already seen in The Matrix (and arguably done in a more engaging way).

Jupiter Jones herself is a catalyst for an inter-familial conflict within a wealthy interstellar hierarchy. Though alien races do exist, the most dangerous aliens happen to be humans themselves, extraterrestrial humans of course. In Jupiter’s universe, it turns out that the wealthy and powerful have the ability to live forever (an idea also explored in the Neftlix adaptation Altered Carbon), but only by seeding countless worlds with humans, then harvesting these humans like crops and breaking these millions of people down into a sort of primordial youth serum by which the lives of the affluent may be extended.

Advanced genetics in Jupiter’s universe are the highest form of technology, and it is stated in all the cosmos the most sought-after resource is time. This is the reason these advanced humans out among the stars are able to splice human and animal genes, essentially creating entirely new races, and the reason why Jupiter herself is seen as a reincarnation of a woman who once owned countless stars and planets. Genes, to the wealthy and powerful, have a near spiritual significance. Jupiter is referred to as a Recurrence, a person who is long dead but whose gene-print inconceivably reappears in someone who is born centuries or even millennia later. This is seen as a near miracle, and thus is recognized by interstellar law as a legitimate reincarnation, giving this new person the same rights and privileges, and inheriting all the property previously held by the deceased person whose gene print they share.

And that’s where the conflict comes up. Jupiter is sought out by three siblings of the Abrasax family, one of the most elite and powerful families in the universe, of which she is the reincarnation of their mother and thus entitled to re-inherit all of their resources and capital which they currently control. The kids are Kalique (Tuppence Middleton), the well-to-do, but compassionate one, Titus (Douglas Booth), the more two-faced of the three who acts innocent but is clever as a viper, and Balem (Eddie Redmayne), the stereotypical villain of the piece who seems to have nervous ticks and an inability to raise his voice above a certain octave except in times of extreme stress. Of course, since Jupiter’s now meant to control everything they currently own, none of the three Abrasax kids can be fully trusted. Jupiter doesn’t have to face these three one-percenters alone however. She is accompanied by Caine Wise (Channing Tatum) an ex-soldier and wolf-splice, known as a Lycantant, who is hired by Titus to safely retrieve Jupiter from Earth before his siblings can get to her. Caine’s former commanding officer, a bee-splice known as Stinger (Sean Bean) also appears from time to time, as well as officers of the Aegis, an interstellar law enforcement agency.

If you are having a hard time following the characters here, it’s probably because there just isn’t much to any of the characters other than what I’ve already written about them. And therein lies the primary flaw with this film. The characters aren’t interesting, and the greater tragedy is that the characters are written to be uninteresting. Where a ton of care and attention went into crafting the look, feel and depth of the wider universe acting as the story’s setting, the characters within this story are criminally underwritten.

Earlier, I went to great lengths to illustrate the wealth of variety throughout genres of science fiction, just how many different types of stories we might get within this narrative framework. The purpose of explaining all of that to such a degree was meant to show you that not everything has to follow the same narrative flow. Sometimes stories can be more abstract, less character driven, less action heavy. In that regard, a story exemplar like Blade Runner doesn’t really need to have strongly written characters because the interpersonal aspects of its journey are less important than its atmospheric setting and stylistic momentum. The gravitas comes from a different place than in stories which are more character driven.

However, if a story does want to give us something more conventional, then it’s extremely important that the characters are strongly defined, well established and, even if not likable, at the very least interesting. Though a bit out of this wheelhouse, Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is notorious for featuring a dramatis personae of terribly vain, horrible sociopaths, but many of these characters are still written in a way that makes them interesting. Jupiter Ascending fashions itself as an epic space opera, a stylized adventure journey which goes from scrubbing toilets in Irving Park to rocketing through a wider spectacular galaxy. Within that story structure, the characters need to be given their proper attention, especially the protagonist. Only, this is not the case with this movie. In fact in Jupiter Ascending, the characters almost appear as afterthoughts, which is most unfortunate.

Despite being the protagonist’s love interest, Caine seems to have been given the most depth, as a literal lone-wolf personality, an orphan of a sort, a former soldier disgraced for an act of savagery, who longs to regain his military status as a Skyjacker, and was sprung from a prison called Deadland to rescue Jupiter from the clutches of filthy rich egomaniacs, a class of people he seems to utterly despise. Yet even Caine’s various portions of characterization are never fully explored, and he mostly serves as a vehicle to come dashing in and pluck Jupiter out of trouble over and over again. Secondary characters, other than Stinger (more on him later), are hardly there other than to function as a taxi service or exposition dump where appropriate, which is a shame since some of them have a great look but nothing else going on in the writing department to make them memorable. The Abrasax siblings are basically three different flavors of the same smug Soylent privilege, though Kalique seems to exist only to explain things for the benefit of the audience, and Balem seems to be accidentally memorable thanks to Eddie Redmayne’s unusual performance. Titus has some cool psychotic vibes with his underhanded motivations, slippery silver tongued bastard that he is, but even his role as the trickster doesn’t get its due in the end.

Stinger, Caine’s former commanding officer who is now an Aegis Marshal, is also written slightly deeper than even the Abrasax siblings. He took the fall for Caine’s misstep in the military, so he also lost his wings and was disgraced for it. Despite this, he is willing to help Caine and Jupiter throughout the story, and though begrudged he seems genuinely good at heart. Stinger’s point of interest however comes from his traits as a Splice between human and bee DNA. Yes, this leads to a funny line of dialogue, but there are some great examples of show-don’t-tell with Stinger, in that having bee instincts he seems superhumanly able to anticipate motion and react to it ridiculously quickly compared to most people. This ability gives him an edge in everything from fistfights to navigating massive fields of hunter-killer mines. This is hardly important to the plot, but I thought it was cool since it’s never stated outright, just displayed through his actions. Another example of a great idea that’s mostly left adrift.

Jupiter herself starts out as a typical protagonist for a Hero’s Journey. She’s a Jewish Russian immigrant who leads an unglamorous life cleaning bathrooms and tidying fancy homes for her family’s housekeeping service, apparently has bad luck with romance, and hardly ever has time to really do anything she enjoys. Typically, once these elements are presented, there will also be a revelation of something more intimate about the protagonist, her dreams and ambitions, something she longs to one day achieve, her hobbies or personality, perhaps a personal drawback or fear she wishes to overcome. But the most we get about Jupiter is that she wants to buy back a telescope which was once stolen from her astronomer father by the same thieves who murdered him (which we see early in the movie in an awkwardly directed scene). It’s not made clear if Jupiter herself has a genuine interest in astronomy, nor even what any of her interests happen to be.

This becomes a recurring problem throughout the film. Since no real internal conflict or personality of any kind is established for Jupiter, she isn’t led through any personal journey or self-exploration, nor anything which allows her to grow or evolve as the narrative opens up and accelerates. She’s basically just along for the ride, one of those wrong place wrong time sort of things. Her journey is entirely surface level, external forces dragging her around the stars without her having any real say in the matter nor agency of her own. She as very little idea of what she wants or who she is, from what we can tell, because we have no idea of those things either. Mila Kunis does a fine job with the material she’s given, but the material just isn’t much to run with, and if there is a drawback to her performance as an actress I promise in this case the fault is not with her.

The terrible lack of characterization hurts everything in the movie from its ethical conceits, plot momentum, all the way up to the romance subplot which only feels forced and lacking chemistry because the two leads aren’t properly written. They could have had chemistry, but its difficult for archetypes to interact without endowing them with personality. It’s a fundamental flaw from which all other flaws of the film stem because the personality, the character of the protagonist in this type of story is a fundamental element from which many other elements of the story stem.

Even towards the end, when Jupiter is forced into dangerous heroics and aggressive bravery it doesn’t feel like much of anything because for all we know she was brave all along, or maybe she wasn’t. We’re never given the chance to find out. Her larger moment of heroism comes not in a violent action of conquering the badguy (though she does beat him with a pipe later... in self-defense of course), but in refusing to compromise to Balem’s ultimatum, either resign her ownership of Earth or allow Balem to murder her family. It’s interesting to note that instead of rocking up and blowing his head off with a blaster, she just tells him to get fucked, which is a cool idea, non-violent protagonists are few and far between. Though the climax would have been far more satisfying had we gotten to know Jupiter much better before she gets to this point. Ultimately, the lack of strong characters make the progression of the movie feel awkward, and the denouement seems to come out of nowhere. It’s really too bad, since many facets of this film’s setup seemed to bear promise, and it’s more tragic than infuriating, leaving an audience with a countenance more in sorrow than in anger.

Like Jupiter herself, thematic elements are also only half-explored. The idea that genetics have advanced to such a point that life-regeneration has become a reality within this star-spanning civilization (albeit a reality exclusively available to the filthy, insanely wealthy) is an interesting idea, and there’s a lot of potential for the ethical quandaries related to that sort of technology, and what makes it possible. Yet little of this is given attention beyond the horror of Jupiter discovering the Abrasax family regularly kills billions of people for longevity and profit. Is their life-extending operation the only one out there? Or is it an industry? Are there black market dealers who develop and trade their own youth serum off the books? It’s all kind of muddy and little of it is given any explanation or nuance.

As we’ve established, Campbell’s hero’s journey isn’t the only way to go about a sci-fi story, but in Jupiter Ascending it’s like half-started without any of the follow-through, and the characters which should be the heart of the story are greatly lacking any depth. The film’s been compared to a Disney-style princess story, and even references Cinderella at one point, though it does seem to be aiming higher than this. Yet, the lackluster character writing and flat dialogue all make the story somewhat impotent, whatever its aim, leaving the movie looking like a majestically beautiful gild-feathered eagle, which just happens to be blind. Fun to look at, but has absolutely no idea where it’s going. I can’t articulate enough what a shame this all is, since there really are some cool ideas and sci-fi content here. I truly wish, as a sci-fi enthusiast, that Jupiter was truly able to ascend.

I’d recommend it as a fun romp through an intriguing galaxy, but it’s more useful as an example of how to get everything right with a movie, everything other than the thing that really holds it all together: a well-written protagonist. Still, I’m no intersectionalist, but it’s nice to see the girl get the guy at the end of the story, the way guy protagonists get to get the girl at the end of all their stories. That was a pleasant feeling, even if it wasn’t quite earned with everything come before it. Plus, you know; lizardmen, and jet-bikes. The Wachowskis are generally great at what they do though, just maybe have a tough time channeling it. Here’s hoping they can get back to us with something truly badass in future because the level of commitment to the craft seen in this movie is extraordinary, even if the reach exceeds the grasp in this particular case. 

                     侍    headless                                     

[awed-frog]

I have asked myself why – while I like the ideas and themes – the pacing of the show doesn’t seem to work for me? I think Dabbs style, which makes his episodes so great, doesn’t translate well into showrunning. Dabb often leaves one part or scene open which becomes relevant later. During a season, however I feel this gets very confusing, because nothing seems to happen, e.g. the Mary/Dean conflict in s12. (1/2)

The conflicts in the show also seem to be everywhere and so many, while on the other hand everything is missing depth? It feels like the show is leaving loose ends all over the place? What also doesn’t help is that he seems to favor a grand finale (dragging out the conflict until the very end). I’m just wondering if I’m the only person who feels like this? I hope this doesn’t come off as wank, it’s really not my intention. Thank you for answering! (2/2)

Well, the thing is - I don’t see this as wank at all, but I’m definitely the wrong person to discuss this kind of stuff. I studied mostly books and art - stuff that generally has one mind behind it, not several - and I don’t keep up with bts stuff, which means I’m missing too many crucial bits of information about the screenwriters and their personal interests to write an informed meta about that. So, you know - since you asked me, I’m going to tell you what I think, but please keep in mind that it’s just my random-ass opinion.

Also, I generally don’t rewatch episodes - back when I really liked the show, I used to watch the same episode twice before writing my meta, but it’s been a very long time since I sat down and rewatched the entire thing from the very beginning, so I never remember who wrote what. Looking at the list of Dabb episodes, I know there are some I really liked, but others that left me quite meh. I think that so far, the only screenwriter I’ve been consistently in love with is Yockey, and that’s not only because his writing is phenomenal and his characterization spot-on, but also because what he finds interesting about Supernatural and the people in it mostly resonates with what I like. With Dabb, on the other hand, that has been very hit and miss - which, of course, it’s not about fault or quality, but simply about a difference in sensibilities.

What I don’t like, on the other hand, and think is objectively bad, are his choices as a showrunner. I don’t know where he’s going if we’re talking ‘final act’ of Supernatural, and that’s okay, since we don’t even know how many seasons we have left, but S12 was a disaster. As you say, there are too many subplots, most of them go nowhere, the tension peaks and disappears whenever, and the resolution just didn’t work for me - like, at all. It felt so, so rushed. In fact, the whole thing felt so outlandishly incoherent I’m not even sure they knew what S12 would be about when they were filming the S11 finale. 

Because, in theory, we had two main conflicts heading into S12: the fact that Mary was back, and the BMoL as new players on the board. That, in my opinion, should have been plenty enough to build a convincing season - with Mary alone, there was a lot of potential for angst and feels and unsettling stuff - instead, the choice was made to bring Lucifer back to life and include that weird-ass subplot about him becoming president and having a kid who brainwashed and killed people from the womb but now is good (?), and uhm.

(And, again, I don’t know how any of this works - it’s likely Samantha Smith could only be in a limited number of episodes, hence the now infamous ‘let’s find an excuse to make this crucial character disappear’, but still - it’s beyond ridiculous the fact she’s back from the dead was resolved so quickly.)

Mary’s return and the BMoL means that Dabb’s goal was probably to ‘go back to the basics’ and explore who Sam and Dean actually are, after all this time, and why they do what they do, and whether they’re the heroes or the villains in their own story. The problem with this is that the answers were self-evident from the start, because this show is about them and by now we know them fairly well. So what happened instead is that the BMoL became a cartoonishly bad organization - what was interesting and worth discussing (ie, how they’d managed to eradicate the supernatural in the UK, thus saving countless lives, and how they’d done that by using very questionable means) was swept aside in favour of a narrative that was 100% in black and white. And the same thing, for different reasons (namely, that you can’t unfridge a woman and then turn her into any kind of Stepford mother) happened with Mary, whose storyline consistently evolved only through her relatonship with men and about whom, after two years, we still know next to nothing. Not to mention everything else: for instance, how both she and Sam made very uh-uh choices last year, but that was never delved into at all. How the same thing happened with Crowley’s characterization, which would have deserved more time in the spotlight if he was going to get his Heyward moment so soon, and with Cas, whose seemingly momentous pronouncement in 12x12 - that he’d chosen his human family once and for all! that he had human feelings! - was never mentioned again.

As for this season, so far the problems are exactly the same: about 25 villains, all of them childishly and uncomplicatedly evil, plot points all over the place, conflicts that go nowhere, characters who appear and disappear without having accomplished anything - it’s a mess.

Something else that’s been a problem in the Dabb era is that ethically grey choices are increasingly presented as good ones - from Kelly’s immediate attachment to a demon baby that was going to kill her and potentially the rest of the universe as well, to Mary working with Ketch, to the boys ripping holes in space-time to get their relatives from one place to the next without even considering the possible damage to everyone else.

So, look - I don’t know. I won’t say being a showrunner is an easy job, because I’m sure it’s not, and it must be hard to manage content in any rational way when a) you can’t tweak the format of a show even when that format has been woefully outgrown and b) you don’t even know when the story will finish, but they should still find a way to do better than this. Last season basically amounted to nothing at all, and this year I feel like I’m watching a bunch of disjointed and disconnected stories that have no definite purpose. Even the way Sam and Dean keep seesawing between faith and despair rings hollow - mechanic and out of touch with any kind of reality - not to mention, those feelings are never explored in any way. Dean suddenly got better because *subtext*, of course, but what is Sam even up to? Does anyone know? And what about Cas? He went from abject misery to PTSD to a raw desperation to prove himself, and then he was brainwashed by Jack (or was he?), and now he’s - back to what he was in S4? The ‘war needs trump morality, Dean’ commander? Really - it’s rushed and weird and uncomfortable to watch.

Anyway - sorry this got so bitter and thanks for sharing your opinion with me. Here’s to hoping to a satisfying ending for S13!

[atsumus]

Thoughts on Voltron Season 3

I just finished watching, and I want to put out some thoughts.. everything is below a read more because HEAVY SPOILERS if you haven’t seen season three yet!

I remember a lot of people being disappointed in season two while I really liked it.. and while I like season three too, I’m not really satisfied. I’m not exactly disappointed either, but it just didn’t blow me away.

Firstly, I think it’s quite short, and in a way, too much happened within just seven episodes, but at the same time I somehow feel like nothing happened at all. They forced “character development”, lion changes, lost allies, new allies, new villains, Shiro’s return, a huge flashback, and a fucking alternate reality into this season, and I feel like things were a little bit rushed. 

And yet, there was no epic battle or any kind of resolution. The end wasn’t satisfactory at all, but it was no really intense cliffhanger either somehow. I feel a bit like we need to think of it as the first half of a season and this was just the midseason finale. So yeah, I hope for more stuff to happen in season four, but let’s just talk about season three for now. 

The first thing that lowkey bothered me is how predictable everything was after all... Keith takes over the black lion, blue refuses Lance so that he moves on to pilot red, and blue takes in Allura. I even saw people saying that Allura will become the pink paladin, and well, she did. We also got the confirmation that the Galra woman Keith had met in the Belly of the Weblum was going to play a bigger role, and gosh, if she really turns out to be his mother, everything the fandom assumed would be proven. I’ve even read theories of her being connected to Lotor before the season aired. So yeah, in a lot of instances I pretty much already knew what was coming, and that was kind of meh, but not in all instances, of course.

I was hoping for some crazy plot twist no one had expected, maybe even something that would prove us wrong, and well, the alternate reality definitely caught me off guard. We could’ve seen it coming because of Slav and a few other things, but I definitely didn’t, and I’ve never read anything about it before either. That’s a good thing, and I’m glad something that really furthers the plot happened, and I hope they will deal with all that and the comet and Lotor’s plan well in season four. The fact that we finally got the whole backstory of the first paladins definitely helps us understand things better too.

However, character development... gosh, Allura was shown as weak and useless at first, and I really hated it. I understand her helplessness and desperation, but for a major conflict like that, I don’t think it was handled all that well. She went through different stages of her problem as well as her resolution within like.. one episode?! I don’t know, it just felt so rushed to me. I like that she resolved it by trying to think like Lance and deepening her bond with blue, but oh well.. it just happened so quickly, you know? I really felt like she deserved more attention than that. And yes, later on she is called a “worthy opponent” like once, but that just doesn’t make up for it at all. I just.. didn’t really like that.

I think Keith’s issues were handled fairly better, even though it kind of felt rushed too. At least they took the first 2-3 episodes to explain the situation and handle the leadership question, but I don’t know, I can’t even really sort my thoughts, so I’m not sure I can put everything into words that make sense right now, but I’ll try. 

I liked that we saw Keith being emotional, even though he ended up being hotheaded and kind of irresponsible. It was resolved by him recognising his mistakes and trying to do better, which is a good thing I guess. The focus was a lot on how he was struggling to accept a role he didn’t want how he was kind of unable to actually make decisions. It felt a bit like whatever he did, it was wrong. Making a decision completely on his own wasn’t right, but all advice from the others always made it look like they were undermining him (although they weren’t, of course). And once Shiro returned, things obviously got even more complicated. It was expected of Shiro to continue placing his trust in Keith as a leader, but I felt like something was off. I felt like Keith would’ve done just fine making decisions on his own in the end battle, and everyone (especially Shiro) butting in just made it hard to focus for him. But well, that’s less about Keith and more about Shiro I guess.

So let’s talk about Shiro.. just, what the fuck. He just comes back to them like that?! There is one episode of him escaping again, almost dying in a situation where it’s obvious he’s just going to picked up again and then.. he’s just back. Just like that. We didn’t even see how they were reunited or anything like that. It was extremely unemotional and didn’t feel like a big deal at all. Not to mention that something is so off about this and he might be some sort of sleeper agent of whatever now, especially seeing that the black lion rejected him. Also, what’s up with him being so chill? He’s just back, doesn’t remember a thing, does some casual leading but has no problem sitting out. I’m just not sure what to make of it.. I’m torn between give this man a break and holy shit investigate what happened to him?!?!?! I kinda hated this, and I really, really hope the explanation we’ll get for all of it is going to be satisfactory. Things are just way too easy and alright like this, this really can’t be all and it was obviously hinted at too. 

And well, neither Pidge nor Hunk nor Coran really got any screen time or development, but while I was hoping for it, I didn’t really expect it to happen. I expected a bit more for Lance, though. I mean, yes, he showed true strength and greatness when he decided to accept and support Keith, and I think he did very well this season. In general, his relationship with Keith has developed a lot and they both have matured. Yes, there’s still bickering, but it’s just fun, and they get along and work together really well by now. Lance did a good job comforting Keith but also reprimanding and advising him as a leader. And oh damn, Lance giving covering fire, that was good too! The scene of Lance offering to step down was really heartbreaking, though, and I hope that this whole issue of him not being and feeling appreciated enough will finally be resolved instead of just brought up over and over and over again.. I had hoped that it would happen in season three, but well..

And Lotor? Oh Lotor.. I haven’t quite made up my mind yet, but I think I like him. Zarkon wasn’t an intersting villain/antagonist, but Lotor is different. He is smart and cunning, and while he is still “evil”, he is a lot more progressive and really unlike his father. He has been exiled, Haggar sends spies to supervise him, and most Galra don’t respect him at first. Moreover the fact that he doesn’t want to rule by instilling fear in his people anymore and allows females and (partly) non-galry in his ranks makes him more “human” and likeable, however, it doesn’t make him weak. He still manages to get his army to be disciplined. And the story has turned into a conflict of the next generation now. It’s not about Alfor and Zarkon anymore, it’s about their children. That Lotor ended up attacking a Galra outpost is also an interesting development, and I can’t wait to learn about his plan and see more of him and his crew.

And besides all this very plot-related stuff, I really enjoyed seeing the flashback, and baby Allura was so cute! It was interesting to see what Haggar is to Zarkon and how and why everything happened in the past. The altean kitty is super cute but also very interesting, and why is it (or a similar one?) with one of Lotor’s people now? I also liked that the paladins didn’t switch their suit colours and only the lions (and weapons). And uh, well, Keith in Shiro’s room.. Lance in Keith’s room.. important talks and all that stuff. Nice. I was kind of missing the funny moments since the few we got felt a little forced to me.. this season really got dark compared to the first two, but that’s alright, I can live with that.

Yup, these are my first and still kind of unfiltered thoughts after watching. I guess I’ll take a break and do some thinking and then watch it again..

[mrsamazingdreamer]

Anything For You

Hello there.

A/N- CEO!Jungkook, CEO!Reader

Warning- Jk and reader are married. (Has like disappointing marriage content, but i’ll improve over time hehe.) and the reader is lowkey horny.

Please enjoy.

-

His presence is just enough to make me turn myself down.

Another person, similar feeling, same name.

He’s a shadow to begin with. He’s so hot. I mean, my one night stand thoughts are on point. I feel like, I want to feel him around me. I wanna pleasure him in filthy ways and make him limp under my touch. I wanna fuck him. I want him to fuck me. From top, from back, sideways, in every way possible.

His eyes are so fucking beautiful. I wanna look at him while he fucks me from the front and when I get on top of him. I wanna stare into his galaxy like eyes when I am sucking on his cock and when he is choking me with his pride. I wanna scratch his back and leave a trail of hickeys all the way down to his V line.

I just want to fuck him. I have high temptation and lust for him. This is such a fucked up desire of mine from the moment I saw him.

I want to love him.

All I am afraid of remembering the one who broke my heart into saw dust.

The same name.

Why? I am just so alone and desperate, anything that departs from my mind, fucks me up. I don’t like this feeling of desire and the need, the fucking need to feel him inside of me.

Fuck me up, my darling, I am all yours.

I wanna talk to him. I wanna be his friend. I wanna call him up at 3 am and share a conspiracy theory.

But, I don’t wanna fall in love. I want to rise in love.

I wanna text him memes and write poems in his thoughts. I just wanna look at him do things like walk or yawn or write a little note.

Maybe because I love him.

Why? Maybe I am just too alone. -

On a typical Saturday evening I found myself curled up on my sofa listening to the sound of the thunder storm and whining rain and my dear hedgehog yawning in my lap. A hot cup of coffee and some light music was everything I needed to make myself relaxed from the activities I had been through the week. The interviews, the photo shoots, the graphic analysis, papers to sign, business trips and what not. The chaos of running an entire leading fashion magazine company was really a task to bind. I was tucked in an oversize sweater and going comfortably through the dull late afternoon. The huge glass windows were now tinted with raindrops constantly racing about.

//buzz//

3:40pm

Hey

How was your week?

🐼

I smiled at the text.

3:41pm

Meh. It was the same.

Running and screaming and signing.

3:43pm

Ow too bad.

But same. Lol.

Soooo

I clutched my heart before trying not to smile

3:44pm

So…

Lol

What

3:45pm

Wanna grab some food? 😗

With me 😗😗😗

Huuh huh 😗

I bit my lip at his cute self and smiled. Oh boy, how do I ever resist him. I thought.

3:46pm

Its raining here. 💁

3:46pm

😦 ehhhhhhhh

😥why

3:47pm

I am the one who is making it rain so that you can come over and stay here with me 🙈

I smirked at my smug reply.

3:48pm

Oh well well well

🙈🙈🙈

I’M ON MY WAY 👨

3:49pm

Omg you’re coming back?

Fuuuuck! I thought you’re joking

I’m waiting 😁

It had been almost 4 years, since I’d been interacting with this son of a hot fucking pie. This man was my everything to begin with and everything to end with.

He was a CEO of a really massive banking company. Both of us being working business individuals had a hard time interacting as often. He and I both text each other when we could and meet… In 6 months or so.

//ring ring//

I kept my hedgehog in his cage quickly and rushed to the door. My heart was beating so fast for the first time in forever. Meeting him today was certainly a stranger feeling than usual. I opened the door and was greeted with the most beautiful man fathomable to exist behind the hundreds of crimson red roses he had held in his hands.

“Mrs. Jeon… Your favorite flowers sent by your favorite person to his favorite person, delivered by your favorite person, obviously.” He tilted his head to look at me from behind those flowers as he smiled at me with his bunny teeth.

Cocky. I couldn’t help but blush deep red and look at him with a shy smile, accepting the flowers.

“Come on in, its your house.” I said scanning his figure adorned with an armani suit, stunning dark hair and his handsome self.

“Like what you see?” He teased.

“Oh shut up.” I tell him ignoring the fact that I was checking him out in his face.

“Come on y/n… You’re allowed, you know.” He smacked my ass as he walks past me toward his room to certainly change and wash up. I kept the flowers on the glass table by the door and bit my lip, feeling the area when he had smacked me on as I drowned myself into my own thoughts.

Jeon Jungkook, 25 years old, intelligent, handsome, rich, successful, eye candy and my husband of 2 years now whom I’ve met only 12 times including the one on our wedding/contracts-beneficial-for-both-our-brands.

Mentally, he’s alluring. Physically he is appealing. In reality, he was busy. But so was I.

There were a lot of hardships we have been through in these 4 years. From meeting him to getting married out of family pressure and purly business interest. Somewhere between these 4 years, I’ve learnt enough to be committed, impressed and… Live in love.

Our marriage, in context of physicals, consists of one mandatory wedding kiss, roughly 8 hand shakes, 5 hand kisses, 2 playful spanks, one goodbye hug and accidental touches.

Yes, my husband and I have certainly not been in love. But over time, I fell for him. So hard. I just came to realize it a few weeks early. I wasn’t sure, if he was too feeling the same, but I didn’t want to complain.

He is mine to call. I carry his last name. And the media knows it all. Whenever he meets me, he makes sure to take me out for a date to display a healthy relationship, perhaps also maintain it. I was happy. Despite him being so busy, he tries to keep up with our so called marriage.

I resumed my position on the couch with my pet.

“Y/N, hi.” He whispers, sitting besides me on the couch.

“Hey.” I smile back at him.

“So, how are you doing?” He drops his most frequent question.

“You see me here, I’m alive.” I mocked in my lazy tone. He suppresses his giggle at my sarcastic ass.

“Well, I’m glad. How is our little son?” He reaches to lightly pat on the hedgehog. He brought him for me for our first anniversary knowing how much I adored them and leaving a sign of himself when he’s not there. I would be lying if I couldn’t stop smiling when he said “our son”.

“He’s doing great.” I mumble.

“Y/N.” he whispers and softly hum in response.  

“This is weird… What we have.” He said looking into my eyes.

I dropped my heart when he says it. The legit thought was that he was about to say something that will break my heart, but he just completely changes it.

“Its been 2 year since we got married. And we’ve never ever, spent time together, you know, like how usually couples do.” He continues as I nod.

“I get it that its just more of a superficial thing to say, but you know, I just feel like, I want to live now and you know, I want to live with you because you’re the only one whom I call mine publicly. I want to know you, y/n. Not as a CEO but as a person.” He tells making my breathing faster. My heart was pounding ever so strongly at his kind and comforting words.

“Jungkook…” Before I could finish, he puts a finger on my lips and continues,

“I’ve decided to go on a break. From my job which is probably my only life. I don’t know Y/N. I am tired. I want to live with you as my wife and not just as a business partner and I want to see things differently. Will you help me?” He was a very confident man, but listening him break down like this was such an intense thing. Jeon Jungkook, was vulnerable and tried and I was there to witness. The tycoon was coming clean to me. I wanted to hug him and this time I didn’t want to regret the opportunity.

I removed his finger from my lips and went up closer to him and said, “Jungkook, I have seen you through growing into what you are today, and I’m glad you decided to share it with me… I want to help you, and I will. You’re my husband, I’ve vowed to do so. I’m always there for you.” I leaned into him and hugged him with all I had restrained in me. Feeling his warm body made me shudder in response. It was so comfortable to have him wrapped around me. This was the most intimate I’ve gotten with him and in that moment.

It took every fiber of my body to stop myself from kissing his soft petal like lips.

I almost jump as I feel him hugging me back and burring his face into the crook of my neck, it felt as he he had brushed his lips in the nape. But I didn’t want to complain, I just wanted to make him feel wanted.

“Y/N, I’m taking year off from my business trips. I want to be home with you. I want to cook for you and buy gifts like normal people And take you for ice cream when you crave it at 3 am. I don’t wanna text you anymore good-mornings or nights, but say that to you, face to face.” He whispers so lightly making me flip my stomach upside down. It felt almost as if he’s trying to confess something he has been holding back, all this time.

“Oh, Jungkook. I’m glad you feel that way. I’ll be more than happy to have you around you know.” I reply sniffing my tears up.

“And, don’t worry, I still will sign papers, but from home. And I want you to do the same now.” He says pouting. I pull away immediately and frown at him.

“What? Are you serious? If you don’t know, I’m the CEO of-” he presses his lips against mine. He took me by surprise and I was so shocked with my eyes wide open. I notice, his eyes are so peacefully closed and his lips were actually on mine. Instead of resisting, I started melting under his touch on my arms. I felt my eyes getting heavy and my hands running to pull him close to me. I felt his lips moving against mine and I subconscious repeated the movement. His lips softly pulling mine away which indeed was the sexiest thing in that frame. His chest was so close to me I could almost feel his heartbeat rising and falling.

This was something I dreamt about and it was happening right in front of me. Everything felt surreal, from the texture of his lips to his sweet taste to his his cologne washing me over. I was ready to accept anything from that moment on because the love of my life was touching me in the most romantic way. My amazingly sexy husband was finally kissing me. I was the luckiest woman alive in the universe. And nothing made me happier than having him around me, being happy. I reluctantly pull away and tried to steady my breath. He was still clutching onto me and looking into my eyes. I felt embarrassed on how much crimson I’ve parted on my cheeks. I licked my lips and looked at him.

“That was… That was nice.” I whispered making him smile ear to ear.

“So, you’re with me?” He asks putting his forehead against mine.  

“Anything for you, Mr. Jeon.” I breathed out a chuckle.

“You better pack up soon, Mrs. Jeon, we’re going for our honeymoon.” He winked at me, flushing me even more.

-

thanks for reading. :*

I’ll continue this for sure.

[reminiscingdreamer]

Thoughts on The Final Problem

This seems like a very popular topic here wow! When I went to explore Tumblr after watching the last episode of season 4, things were on fire; people were crying, rocking themselves, and/or mumbling logic/denial to themselves in the corner; and above, shining dimly, a phantasmal salvation hovered over people’s heads, created by the feverish dreams of thousands of disappointed fans. Wow, it’s amazing! I personally could only see the shadow of this salvation (aka the 4th episode), but some people seem to believe in it wholeheartedly. 

It appears the most popular theory for TFP is that it’s John’s nightmare sequence as he’s dying. Well, besides the fact that I don’t know why, if that was the case, John would imagine himself as a little girl, there’s also the fact that I don’t know why the producers would want to waste essentially an hour of viewers’ time if it served no purpose other than a deeper glimpse into John’s mind. TAB was different because it was meant as an aside and it’s clearly an aside. This is in the storyline proper. It’s meant to be canon.

I’m not looking to bash the episode or the people here, however. I just want a place to put down my thoughts about why I didn’t like TFP personally. Some people liked it and that’s fine. Some (maybe a lot) of people hated it and that’s fine too. Some people will read this and hate it/love it/meh it. Fine. Some people will ignore it and that’s fine too. It’s all… fine.

So where to begin? I’ll start with

General impressions

First thing I felt while watching was that TFP didn’t feel like Sherlock to me.  TFP felt more like the game, Amnesia: Justine with a hint of GLaDOs. If Sherlock was a straight line of film reel, TFP would be the tangled mess at the end. Of course, even before this, series 4 felt progressively stranger and stranger. TST still felt like Sherlock if a bit different somehow and TLD was kind of starting to push it a bit, but it was still okay. TFP blew up. 

When they mentioned a third sibling and Sherrinford, my first thought was that “someone’s been through AO3!” and when the episode ended, my first thought was, “someone’s been through AO3 and Tumblr and was desperately trying to avoid everything already predicted there in a desperate bid for a surprise ‘clever’ reveal!”

What made up the components of such detonation? Well first, 

Eurus

Kudos to this post for being the first, and only post, to come the closest about the hidden sister and even about the part where she’s rarely visited, although the proof for it felt like it stretched a bit. With that said, Eurus still felt like she came out of nowhere and her character is like the shock of being dunked in ice water, partly because while her existence might have been hinted at (and not even all that much and with a lot more evidence against her existence) what she’s like wasn’t.

Eurus is the big-fish-eater, the one smarter than even Mycroft. Now, the question is, did they put Eurus there because it made sense for her to be there and she really has been there all along working behind the scenes or did they run out of viable antagonists and so put her up so that she’d seem like the biggest threat by being someone even Mycroft fears? If there was going to be such a desperate grab for a new series antagonist to pit Sherlock against, they should’ve just kept Moriarty alive. It’d be a lot easier than whatever convoluted mess this turned out to be, but they missed the last road sign when instead of the pearl out of Thatcher’s bust, they had the AGRA stick instead.

Anyway, her existence aside, the part where Eurus could brainwash people so thoroughly was unbelievable, but her character itself was interesting. In the beginning, I got the sense she was the true psychopath dictated by pure logic that neither brother could be, try as they might. By the end of it, she’s shed in a sympathetic light.

… Look, I did feel something for Eurus, but why did they go and do that? She was just fine as she was. It was like a little jolt out of whatever immersive experience I had left for the show. It was like a last-second gambit to evoke pity on her and to forgive her and it was an abrupt bump in the road. The whole of the episode was dedicated to showing me how disturbed Eurus was and to serve as contrast against the Holmes brothers, which was what made her so fascinating. But no, she was just a misunderstood little girl trapped inside who killed people for some love and affection from Sherlock to make her manipulative and killing tendencies go away. Haaaa. 

By the end, the Holmes parents aren’t going to insist on taking their daughter, who they thought was dead, back home with them because obviously, shutting her away again is going to solve things.

They’re not going to try to teach her that it was wrong of her to have killed Victor and all those other people and to put her brothers and perfectly innocent men through such traumatic experiences; that it’s wrong of her to play with people like dolls just to get Sherlock’s attention.

And they’re not even going to discuss what happened, what Eurus did, Eurus herself, Sherlock’s past, and the consequences. Sherlock, Mycroft, and John weren’t scarred by the experience of having indirectly killed so many people, especially with their morality which was what made the whole thing harrowing in the first place, and Sherlock almost being forced to kill one of the people he cared about in an impossible situation. Trauma? What trauma? Everyone’s happy. Everything’s wrapped in ribbons, which leads to the next point.

The ending

I got the feeling that the show pushed waaay too hard for the happily ever after to the point it was almost bizarre. Why does it have to be happily ever after anyway? If happily ever after means so many things would be left open-ended rather than a, “You’ll see next season” then I don’t want a happy ending.

The trauma induced by Eurus I mentioned.

The thing about Sherlock’s confession to Molly was left unaddressed. She appears for a glimpse smiling at the doorway like everything’s alright. So is everything alright? Are they in a relationship now? Or was there heartbreak that Sherlock had to apologize for? Was there a lot of screaming, slapping, crying? Or was there discussion? It’s left completely in the air and it disoriented me.

Despite seeing John go through his ordeal after Mary dies, I never really got to see Sherlock go through any form of grief even though Mary was just as important to him as she was to John. Maybe part of how he coped was through the drugs but that felt like it was more over John than Mary so that problem was steamrolled over.

Mycroft

So this is the first time Mycroft played a visible and prominent role in the story and it was the chance to showcase his character. Now, I’m not saying this man can’t be human or deny he has emotions, but all along, I’m always told that Mycroft was the smart one between the brothers. Told, not really shown. I thought that this would’ve been a good opportunity to demonstrate Mycroft’s intellect and his status as warm-blooded-after-all by noticing the things Sherlock failed to (like with the non-existent explosives under Molly’s house) and being the one who would help John and Sherlock escape through this seemingly impossible situation. Or demonstrate what the trio could do by teaming up together. Or to see Mycroft and Sherlock reach an understanding. I would’ve liked to see Mycroft’s colder, more practical approach to the situation but showing he had a heart by making decisions that would’ve been out of his Iceman character. I'd like to see him try to go up against Eurus to not only demonstrate his own intellect, but Eurus's supposedly superior mind outside her bullshit brainwashing.

Instead I got to see Mycroft as a hot mess who didn’t really contribute to anything and he just breaks under the pressure. If he could run governments, I’d think he’d have ways to deal with stress and keeping calm. I know he cares a whole lot about Sherlock and the idea of him put in danger makes him panic and the whole situation he’s put in would make anyone panic really, especially if this is his first time in “field work”, but I feel like they missed a defining moment in his characterization if only he could pull himself together enough to think of a solution to at least get Sherlock out. Even a failed attempt would be fine! Eurus is supposed to be the big-fish-eater, but it’s a missed chance at illustrating Mycroft in a more in-depth way as someone other than a man defined only by his relationship with Sherlock. Disappointment.

Sherlock’s memory

Sherlock’s memory, which would’ve been a great gateway into slowly introducing aspects of Eurus and Eurus herself before her appearance to make it feel less like being thrown into a winter lake, was rewritten. 

These rewritten memories feel like some kind of fantasy. I know this show did incredible things with logic, asking me to kind of hang myself with my suspension of disbelief, but this cut the rope entirely. The memories felt too… big to have been simply forgotten and rewritten. I understand traumatic things could be repressed, but the thing is that repression or amnesia requires a certain amount of shock from a sudden, concentrated event like a natural disaster, or at least, that’s how I understand it. With Sherlock’s childhood, I don’t see it? I’m not saying Sherlock wouldn’t be scarred by this I mean, even if he’s considered the dullard of the siblings, I think he’d still be smart enough to know that his sister had murdered his best friend. But I mean, I don’t see how Sherlock could’ve been traumatized by it to the point of, not only amnesia, but rewriting his own memories, since this was over the course of a period of time.

And then they wanted to add how Mycroft had key words to check on Sherlock’s state of mind like some kind of directory? No. Way too unbelievable. And even if his memories were altered, reality wasn’t. So the Holmes parents should still have pictures with Eurus but a dog conspicuously missing from any of them, they should have some kind of grave or item of remembrance, and if Sherlock kept mentioning a dog, should get weird stares along with a host of other things an rewritten memories would bring. Point is, Sherlock’s altered memories would’ve been torn open like a hole in wet paper before he even reached teenage and smart and powerful as Mycroft is, there’s no way he could account for them short of burning all photos and altering his parents’ memories too, which he clearly did not.  

Sherlock

Sherlock has come a long way from the very first episode, ASiP. He’s gained an understanding of the people around him and of himself and watching him going through that character development while still keeping to who he was is amazing.

Come season 4 and it started to feel less like development and more like being slapped in the face with a fish, especially with the little bookend at the end with Lestrade telling that one guy that Sherlock was a good man, not just a great one, to which I rolled my eyes because at that point, it just felt plain corny as opposed to the weight of Lestrade saying the reverse in the first episode. Too heavyhanded. I know without needing this episode to tell me that Sherlock has standards and that he has a heart. I get it. No need to focus so much on it. Why not explore Mycroft instead? Y’know, the one other character without development? Or start wrapping up threads?

I probably still have more complaints about this episode, but it boils down to these things, pretty much. It was disappointing and disheartening. This isn’t even to mention all the thousands of little plotholes and inconsistencies. I’d gladly skip over the details if the story and characters were great. Too bad  it just so happens that TFP had neither.

[cimorenegal]

Weekends, “That Christmas Creep,” and other rambly stuff

Second week of work has finished, and I’m glad it’s the weekend, but of course it’s never going to be long enough.  I went through their little simulation thing and selected a better health plan, so hopefully HR will be able to take care of that for me with no further hassle. I’m feeling less anxious about the cost of everything after re-selecting.

Christmas shopping, detailed gifting info, and other stuff signaling that, in the words of the McElroy brothers, “we on that christmas creep”

My inlaws have pretty much finished their Christmas shopping already, but I’m waiting for my first paycheck to arrive.  In THEORY it’s supposed to be here by Wednesday, but in practice the reality is that most people get theirs the day AFTER payday, so I’m expecting it on Black Friday, possibly even on Saturday.  I can’t wait until Direct Deposit comes through so I won’t have to wait for it in the mail.  I’m planning on using the “Take a pic” deposit thing, but if it arrives on Friday and it’s early enough, I will probably force myself to drive to the bank to have the option of possibly having the funds available over the weekend.  I’m not planning on doing MUCH black friday shopping, but there are one or two things I am pretty sure will be on sale then, so I’m probably going to end up having to use my partner’s credit card for those (At least I know this time I’ll have the funds to pay off that balance right away, unlike last year) because of the time lag.

My inlaws are getting my dad, sister, and niece presents this year, which I think is really nice of them, but I’m semi-worried they felt pressure from me when I said “Wow, my dad would get a kick out of that” in a conversation last week.  I bought a couple pairs of wool socks for my dad at North 40 (Ranch and Farm supply store) and my FIL was saying he had this package of socks he’d never used, and I just said “Well if you don’t want them you could wrap them up and give them to my dad, he’d get a kick out of that”  My FIL said he’d use them eventually and I said that was cool and made it REALLLY ABUDANTLY clear that I was not in any way trying to hint that they SHOULD get my dad/sis/niece anything for Christmas, cause they FOR SURE are not obligated, but next thing I know, this morning my MIL is informing me that she got my niece a teddy bear (It’s cute) and my dad some socks, and asking me what my sister likes.  Ooof.  Still though, I know my dad will appreciate the socks and cashews, and my niece will LOVE the teddy bear.  I think they’re gonna snag an amazon card for my sister, which I know she’ll dig, too, because she can spend it on books and she so rarely gets a chance to do that.

I did a little Christmas browsing and got a shopping list going for when my paycheck does get here, plus I’ve already got some fleece-lined leggings for my sister and those socks for my dad, so I feel like I’m not super behind on the shopping even though my inlaws are basically done.  I got some things off the Wish app that I could probably have found at any ole asian wholesaler site but I’ve been using Wish for a while so I stuck with that.  Those will get here late but I think my sis will like what I picked (I got her a handbag and changepurse that are like those super-realistic looking cat-faces printed on fabric.  ( Kinda like this one at rose wholesale)  

I’m kind of glad that I have work to stave off the impending doom feeling of the holidays.  This time of year is always a little rough for me (Moreso when we don’t have money- I do actually enjoy shopping for other people, so it sucks when I can’t get them anything, or get stuff to make them something), cause I miss my mom and we don’t have any strong, fun traditions that we’ve created for ourselves out here, etc.  It’s just built up to be this great “Family” time and instead it’s just kind of a “Meh” time and I end up feeling yucky about it.  I’m sure there are a few of you who know EXACTLY what I mean.

One thing that has been pretty great, though, is that my MIL asked for a big cat tree for Christmas and my FIL got it for her, and of course they didn’t wait until Christmas to open it, so the cats have been having a ball.  And if you have cats, space, and about $70, this cat tree is fucking amazeballs.  Like honestly it seems like it would be too good to be true but it’s great?  My only complaint is that the carpet is a bit thin and silky but my cats seem to not care and they are having a blast, and it’s really tall, which the cats LOVE.

I’m really glad we have a short week next week.  I just wish my partner also had a short week.  

[dynamoverlagracing]

RACE REPORT(S): ELLENSBURG AND PACIFIC PATHWAYS TRIATHLONS

So, it’s been a while. For some reason I didn’t write a report for Ellensburg, even though it was a great race and a dope swim PR. I qualified for Age Group Nationals at Ellensburg (I was informed in an email from USAT, later on). Funny enough, my race at the Pacific Pathways Triathlon at Joint Base Lewis McChord, which wasn’t great, reminded me that I should write a race report, and maybe by combining a mediocre performance (Pac Pathways) with the memory of a better one (Ellensburg), I can build a reasonable narrative of progress. Also it wasnt that bad. Season bike PR, holla.

Full disclosure: I missed a race between these races because my car broke down the night before. Apparently, it was an amazing race, perennially one of the best ones in the area. Lake Meridian. What’s worse, according to the finishing times I would have placed 3rd in the Super Sprint. Oh well. Shelve that as a coulda-been. Back to reality, as it understand it...

Ellensburg was the first race I’ve ever done where I spent the night in the small town where the race takes place, thus I didn’t have to wake up until 6:30, very nice, and only had to drive a few minutes over to the start line. The drive out to Ellensburg over the pass from Seattle the day before took care of the nightmarish idea of getting up at 3AM to drive for two hours before racing. I’m sure this contributed to a relaxed race and a decent performance. At Pacific Pathways, despite it being a relatively short drive (about an hour), I had to add a very ornery DMV-style wait in the predawn darkness for a civilian base pass for me and my girlfriend. Very lame. it took almost an hour, we waited with our pulltab numbers and had to have our IDs, my vehicle registration and insurance. So, if you wanna do that race next year, just remember it’s actually a Quadrathlon, with the fourth discipline being a trip to the DMV.

Please take a number...

I arrived at the race itself with very little time to spare, and had to squeeze my bike into transition (which wasn’t organized by number at all - a free for all) between some others who’d budgeted more time for the DMV than I had). Stressful! I had an idea to just lean my bike against the transition area barriers, as some eventually did, but I didn’t. I shoulda. I had a hard time maneuvering in the transitions, and this was in part due to the visually cramped/adhoc nature of my transition area... Anyway...

SWIM

Maybe the biggest difference in the races. From a spring/summer full of 2,000m open water swims to really improve, I managed to eke out a 7:13 400m swim at the Ellensburg triathlon, which put me in 28th place out of the water (/113). Approximate 1:48 100s, not amazing, but definitely a PR for me in the water. And I went in relaxed, swam easy. Compare that to the Pac Pathways race, where I, with delusions of swim grandeur, went out with the front row of swimmers determined to push it, exhausted quickly and ended up out of the water in 10:09, flat 2:00 per 100, about the same as all my older, unmentionable swim splits. So, not terrible, but it was effort wasted. I go faster when I go less hard. Counterintuitive. Anyway, Ellensburg put me in T1 in a relaxed spot, ready for a great bike.

the tiny lake at Ellensburg...easy breezy swim PR... what a treat!

The swim at Pac Pathways...I found my way up to the first row...cocky bastard...

And they’re off!

T1

At Ellensburg, a 1:14 T1: not great but comparatively decent (my T1 at Lake Wilderness Tri was 1:15). So, technically, all kinds of PRs at Ellensburg... Unfortunately I paid for it with that reckless swim at Pac Pathways; not seriously bad - 1:33 - but extra nonetheless. To be honest, when I saw the splits for transition, I was shocked it was so low. I felt like I’d been fucking around in transition for more like two minutes, but time has a way of dilating in the T’s, and you feel every second extra hard. Anyway. The lesson is: relax in the swim, if for no other reason than I won’t go any slower, and I’ll have a nice smooth transition afterward. In general, however, until I move from my Keen sandal clip-ins to a triathlon-style bike shoe like I used to use (Sidi T1′s, so comfy!) and relearn my flying bike mount, I can expect that my transitions won’t improve that much. Slipping bike shoes on wet feet with shaking hands will always cost me 10-20 extra seconds. So until then (I.e., the rest of this season), I need to focus on that lower end single-minute transition, and try and eke out a sub 1:10 T1. And relax in the swim. Of course.

THE BIKE

Really, nothing that glaringly different or bad between Ellensburg and Pac Pathways. In a way, Pac Pathways was a PR for this season (22mph over the 14.2m course), whereas Ellensburg was about the same as my other races, approximately a 21mph bike average, for the 12.4 mile course). Ellensburg was an amazing bike course. Maybe most people don’t like an out-and-back, but I knew what to expect, and was very comfortable with the fact that it was gradual uphill, headwind all the way out (~18mph) and downhill/tailwind all the way back (~30 mph). Needless to say, it was dope cruising that second half at 30 mph. At Pac Pathways, where my bike average was 22mph, I didn’t feel any remarkable calculation along the course. Chock it up to the fact that I was mixed in with a much larger group coming out of T1, and we were all constantly passing the women, who started their wave of the race 10 minutes behind men and relays (an odd choice, as it basically means all but the fastest women have to deal with dudebros passing them the entire race - is that fun???). So the distraction was in constantly passing and avoiding danger with the tetchy tri-peloton I found myself in. No drafting, in theory, but it always feels less legit to be in any kind of group/cluster during a triathlon. This isn’t ITU. Hard to avoid when you’re passing a slower wave and, of course, when I swim slower than my fitness dictates.

Compare that to Ellensburg, which felt like such a clean bike. I was only mixed in with the other T1 people for a brief moment, mounting and clicking in, and then during the odd corridor in the trees before we exited Irene Rinehart Memorial Park onto the bike course proper. I had to deal with a couple of people attempting to pass me but not quite having the gas for it, then having to re-pass one of them, frustratingly, on the turn out of the park. Out on the course, I passed a half dozen people on the slow headwind first half, and was passed myself by three or four big dudes on the way back. At Pac Pathways, however, as unremarkable/mediocre as the course felt, it was a PR for me for this season. Gotta remember that.

T2

At Ellensburg, an 0:41 T2, at Pac Pathways, an 0:56. Chock it up to the same issues of relaxation, etc., in terms of setting up / having a clean transition. Reracking my bike at Pac Pathways was an exercise in recombobulation. Not like Ellensburg, where I could visualize my transition area even before I reached it. Easy, simple, predictable. Anyway. Not every race morning is created equal.

THE RUN

At Ellensburg, another PR (21:46 = 7:01s per mile) for this season. At Pac Pathways, a typical, if slightly improved run (22:10 = 7:09s per mile, better than Lake Wilderness, Black Hills du). Not a great difference, but considering my bike PR at Pac Pathways, that run ain’t bad. It’s hard not to compare any/all such performances to my lifetime PR, which makes all of this season’s performances look mediocre, but there is improvement present here. I was very pleased with my Ellensburg run, as those flat sevens were enough for me to catch all but one of the big guys who passed me on the bike. The weather at Ellensburg was hot - it cleared up early and was cool, but by the time of the run, approximately 8:45 AM, the sun was already very intense. The run is shaded and cool for only a short portion, in the woods behind the lake, before you exit the park and cross under the highway and are out in gravel trails through prairie, totally exposed and boiling hot. The aid station manned by the kids of the local high school’s cross country team was a welcome sight at two miles. But yeah - out on that hot run I caught four dudes who clearly crushed the bike course, very satisfying. I came in to the finish in 7th place overall, and won my age group by a handful of minutes. At Pac Pathways, the run was half through the neighborhoods towards the far end of the the park, then half through the woods in the park back along the lake to the transition/finish area by the Shoreline Park beach. Nothing remarkable to report. Because of the way the swim waves went out, it was unclear whether or not the people I passed were actually in front of  me or not. If that makes sense. I’m sure I passed some people on the run, but it wasn’t something I could focus on like at Ellensburg/Black Hills/Lake Wilderness. Anyway, the ultimate result wasn’t amazing, but I still got 2nd in my AG...

ELLENSBURG

1:06:39

7th Place Overall

1st, AG 30-34

PACIFIC PATHWAYS

1:13:37 (meh)

15th Place Overall

2nd, AG 30-34

(Ellensburg)

Pac Pathways run...