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Hello, can I request Aven, Ratio and Sunday with an s/o who's like Komi from âKomi canât communicate?â Basically, their s/o is socially anxious and finds it incredibly hard to talk but is expressive in emotions and usually communicates through writing on paper.
Also if its not too much, could you write a lil scenario in how they would react when someone says something rude about s/oâs social anxiety?
ê±áŽÉŽáŽ
áŽÊ, áŽáŽ áŽÉŽáŽáŽÊÉȘÉŽáŽ, áŽÉŽáŽ
áŽ
Ê ÊáŽáŽÉȘᎠᎥÉȘáŽÊ ᎠáŽáŽáŽÉȘ! ê±/áŽ
pairings - sunday x komi! reader / aventurine x komi! reader / dr ratio x komi! reader
content - reader is gender-neutral/ komi! reader/ pre and established relationships/ reader getting shit-talked by people/ socially anxious! reader
warnings - swearing lol
â ÊáŽáŽáŽ
ÉȘÉŽÉą... â
â» Sunday would be a wonderful partner to have, heâs very understanding of your struggles communicating with others and participating in activities with your peers
â» Heâs super encouraging and supportive, giving you a small push when it comes to interacting with people (besides him, his sister was the first person you successfully managed to hold a conversation with lol)
â» At first glance, Sunday found your appearance attractive, the air around you held that sense of authority and grace, enamoring everyone within your reach
â» However, when he introduced himself to you, you could only stare at him blankly which made him a little concernedâŠÂ
âș Were you deaf? Mute? He really did try his best at getting a word out of you but you could only stutter in response, quickly leaving him due to your embarrassment
âș Gradually, he began to understand what you would try to say by your body cues and expressions
â» Sunday ended up gifting you, soon after your first meeting, your own personal notebook to write in that way you could communicate your thoughts easilyÂ
âș You were overjoyed, chatting non-stop with him throughout the day
â» Unbeknownst to the both of you, it seemed you had quite the reputation with the way people would gawk and stare at you like you were some sort of goddessÂ
âș Sunday could understand them, you were not only attractive, but smart and kind, offering your help to those who need it despite being afraid of approaching others (it just came to you naturally)
â» Sunday finds the sounds you make cute, especially when youâre embarrassed or flustered, he canât help but tease you when he can
âș He also finds the way you express yourself very endearing, reminding him of a kitten
â» You love petting his wings and taking care of them, it's one of your favorite things to do to help calm yourself down
â» If someone pokes fun or insults you for being socially anxious, heâd be ready to rain hell on them (youâre trying your best and thatâs all that matters !!)
âș Those kind of encounters would bring your spirits down, but eventually, youâd gather up the courage to keep trying thanks to the support of Sunday and the few friends you made
-----
âI donât know why itâs so hard for you to speak up for yourself. Just say something.âÂ
You had thought you were beginning to make a new friend, but noticing the way they treated you⊠You knew you didnât want to be around them any longer.Â
You nervously fidgeted in your seat, staring down at the half eaten sundae in front of you. The sudden announcement had spoiled your mood and appetite, feeling too uncomfortable to even eat near someone like them. You just wanted to escape the situation now before it becomes too tense.
Your âfriendâ was about to continue what they were saying, but was interrupted by a stern voice.
âItâs harder for some people to voice their thoughts, it doesnât always come naturally to them.â
You breathed a sigh of relief, it was Sunday. Turning to face him with a relieved expression, he understood your silent appreciation for his interjection.
âPeople work at their own pace, donât try to rush them into doing something they arenât comfortable with.â Sundayâs eyes narrowed at them, your âfriendâ at a loss for words. âCome now, _____, a new place has opened up and Iâd like to take you there.âÂ
Sunday had offered you his hand to help pull you up which you gratefully accepted, leaving the half eaten sundae with your friend. It was now something they would have to deal with, whether they liked it or not.Â
-----
â» Speaking of friends, if you had a goal to reach a certain number of friends, heâd happily help you and introduce you to some of his closest friends
âș The astral express would be super welcoming and friendly to you; I can imagine you spending time with them on the express while silently chatting with Pom Pom (the crew wonders how they can understand you, but are happy you are enjoying yourself)
â» Sunday would love spending time with you, bringing you to different events or to an amusement park that way you could experience the thrill of the rides
âș He knows that if youâre lost, you start to panic, so he tries his best to never lose sight of you in crowded situations
âș If you do end up losing him, heâll have a family member escort you to where he; if heâs busy, heâll have a family member accompany you whenever you go out if you arenât comfortable doing so alone
â» All in all, Sunday is your biggest supporter and wants you to be comfortable !
â»Â Aventurine thinks youâre very interesting and fun to tease
â»Â Although you normally intimidated people by accident at first glance, he wasnât thrown off by your blank stare or silence
â»Â At first he was just messing around with you, he never wouldâve thought that he would be in a relationship with you but heâs quite happy nonetheless
â»Â If you know the dynamic between Komiâs parents, I feel like that would apply to both you and Aventurine
âș Heâs the talker of the both of you (of course) and is much more energetic compared to you who silently gazes at people and can only manage a couple sentences
âThey asked for no pickles.â
âThank you..Aven.
âș Aventurine definitely speaks up for you in tense situations (like when your order is wrong but you donât want to say anything)
â» Aventurine doesnât mind your shyness and is willing to help you develop social skills
âș He introduces you to Topaz and Ratio, who both get along with you just fine
(you were intimidated by Ratio, but you slowly warmed up to him and enjoy his lectures)
â» He finds your quirks cute, purposely teasing you so he could get a reaction
âș Aventurine is pretty observant, so he was able to pick up on the small habits you have fairly quickly
â» I feel like you wouldnât need to communicate your thoughts with him as much because he knows how to read you like a book, but heâd end up giving you a small notepad anyways
â» Aventurine would definitely shower you with gifts and bring you to his favorite spots, hoping to slowly inch you out of your shell (it works a bit)
â» Like Sunday, Aventurine would notice your popularity (youâre completely unaware) and keep a keen eye on your surroundings, especially if you visit the casino he frequents
âș He keeps you close to him so people donât try anything funny with you
â» If someone were to insult or poke fun at your social anxiety, heâd be really irked and would show it passive aggressively, making sure to not confront them in front of you because he knows you would heavily discourage him
-----
âUgh, theyâre so silent itâs creepy⊠Why donât they say anything?âÂ
Aventurineâs ears perked up, listening in on a conversation two workers were having as you walked beside him down the hallway.
âI know. What does Aventurine even see in them?âÂ
They continued their conversation through hushed whispers and secretive glances. Yet Aventurine was able to hear every last comment and insult thrown at you. It made his frown deepen and brows furrow, but he knows if he did anything now youâd stop him. Heâll have to deal with the two of them later.Â
-----
The next day, Aventurine was back at the casino with you by his side. As expected, he had a bountiful amount of chips on his side, proof of his winning streak.Â
A new game was about to begin, and as he peered up through his rose-tinted glasses to gauge the participating opponents, he saw two familiar faces. The workers from yesterday, how fortunate for him.Â
Throughout the game, a new, tense air had surrounded Aventurine, something you picked up on. He was much more competitive than before, losing his aloof demeanor and focusing on the game at hand. Was there something wrong?
Before you knew it, the game was over. Aventurine had come out victorious, watching his opponentsâ faces drop at the huge sum of money they lost with a sly smirk.Â
He was satisfied, for now.
-----
â» If you end up getting lost somewhere, Aventurine would be your first contact and heâd drop everything to help you (The next people for you to contact would be Topaz and Ratio)
â» Sometimes I think Aventurine would overwhelm you with his antics, especially with his âall or nothingâ mindset (your poor heart)
âș Aventurine would eventually cave in due to your huffs and frowns because he finds you too cute
â» Heâs happy to have you and will always be by your side when you need him (youâre his first priority)
â» Goodness, poor you would be pretty intimidated by him and his strict nature at first meeting
âș Ratio would have to be the one to approach you first since youâre too scared to even utter a word to him
â» I donât think Ratio would fully understand your anxieties, as he personally never dealt with it
âș However, he would slowly start to understand and even try asking you questions in which you can provide him a simple answer (usually yes or no questions)
â» He begrudgingly helps you socialize with people, even though he hates to interact with idiots himself
âș I can imagine him giving you lecture about human behavior and social relationships, which you listen to attentively but also blankly stare at him (he shakes his head at this but continues anyways)
âș His lectures actually end up helping you understand people though, and his lessons about social skills has helped you with introducing yourself to new peopleÂ
âș He forces Aventurine to help him with your social skills since heâs pretty upbeat and friendlyÂ
â» If youâve made some improvements with social interactions, Ratio would feel pretty satisfied and happy that he helped you (heâd never tell you directly but heâd give you rewards)
â» Being Ratioâs significant other would be interesting
â» By this point, he probably has all your little quirks and habits memorized, knowing what may be troubling you or what caught your interest
âș He finds your habits and actions quite endearing, it brings a soft smile to his usually stoic face
â» Ratio likes expressing his affection for you with gifts he finds useful and interesting, recounting the history behind the item or how it was manufactured (you enjoy listening to his rambles and heâs happy that he can tell you these findings)
â» If someone were to make a snide comment about your social anxiety, he would have zero hesitation is giving them a lecture or throwing a chalk their way
âș Heâd probably make them cry or shit themselves
-----
âTHE Veritas Ratio is dating someone? Who??â
âJust some freak. Seriously, I heard they never speak and all they do is just stare at you.â
âWow⊠Thatâs pretty creepy.â
âExacââÂ
âExcuse me.â
The two girls who were just gossiping about you jumped, smiling nervously at the source of the intrusion.
âAh, Doctor Ratio! Fancy seeing you hereâŠâÂ
âI work here.â Ratio deadpanned, eyes glaring down at the two. âI couldnât help but notice that the topic of your conversation pertained to me and my partner. I suggest that you keep your noses out of our business and quit these idiotic assumptions.âÂ
âI- We were justââÂ
âStop your incessant ramblings. If I hear another word about anything regarding my personal life, I will be sure to have you both taken care of. Understood?â His authoritative tone made the two girls quiver in their spot, nodding their heads frantically.Â
Ratio turned to leave, making his way back to you who was sitting on a nearby bench staring at the ground. At the sound of his footsteps, you looked back up at him, getting up from your seat.
âAre you..ready to go, Veri?â
âYes, letâs go, My Love.â
-----
â» Ratio is pretty protective of you, especially since heâs aware of the attention you garner (your hands are also interlocked so you donât get swept away from him)
âș If you get lost, you both would identify a landmark to meet by so you donât bump into as many people
â» To make communication easier for the both of you, he bought you a notebook to write down your thoughts in so you could show it to him whenever you wanted (heâll make sure that itâs always on hand for your peace of mind)
â» Ratio is a proud significant other, he admires your motivation to learn and improve on your social skills
â áŽáŽáŽáŽÊáŽáŽáŽ! â
note - i love komi can't communicate, it's such a cute anime series and i can't wait to watch season 3 if it comes out. :)
#writingâ #hsr#honkai star rail#hsr aventurine x reader#aventurine x reader#hsr sunday x reader#sunday x reader#hsr veritas ratio x reader#veritas ratio x reader#dr ratio x reader#hsr dr ratio x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#fluff#socially anxious! reader#komi! reader
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On Liang Yue being neurodivergent-coded
I've observed that Liang Yue is a lot more explicitly neurodivergent-coded compared to other characters. A lot of these observances were picked up from how she acts, how she thinks, and how it tends to affect the world around her. I want to explore it here in this post.
Now, this is non-definitive of Liang Yue's character. Whatever opinion you have of her is still by all means valid. These are just my thoughts as an ND person. Consider this as my apology of disappearing a lot more LOL
Additionally, she'll be referred to as Yue from now on, as it's her first name. Let's get started.
1. Social Cues and "Infodumping"
The first thing Yue gives off is her humility and her honesty. And while that softens people's hearts, I also find it interesting that part of this is because of her struggling to pick up on social cues.
She tends to be left puzzled by people's words (e.g. Poitier's comments on her home life affecting her job), and follows it up with asking for clarification. I also found that Yue can be confused when her actions make others upset.
Many neurodivergent people struggle with ambiguity. Straightforward and direct passages are highly valued, and the lack thereof makes it difficult to figure out what people are actually telling them.
I also find that this might by why Yue overshares or "infodumps" anything she has knowledge of when it's needed. She wants to ensure that not only do others completely understand what she thinks, but also her thought process is entirely clear to her.
Speaking of which, it's also observed that Yue tends to speak out her thought processes throughout the story (e.g. speaking out her thoughts on Qi Xing's motives).
I think that her internal thoughts are a lot more disorganized, and talking about those thoughts out loud make it easier to pinpoint the main points she wants to make.
2. Isolation and Being "Different"
It's no secret that Yue is not very well-received by those around her, often being singled out for being different. But it inherently affects her social capabilities and how she approaches relationships.
Yue's classmates did not like her because she was a "traitor" and a "teacher's pet", so they often left her alone or made fun of her. Meanwhile, her colleagues also did not like her at first, thinking that she was just a spoiled rich kid.
There's also her own parents (particularly her father) who have set expectations for her as a guardian to Qiangliang. Yue often got reprimanded by her father because she struggled with understanding his teachings, and she found it hard to grasp his strictness over it.
Additionally, taken from my friend's insight, her family raised her in such an isolated environment that it kept her from learning how to communicate with others. It's common for traditional families to raise their children this way, but it's definitely made it more difficult for Yue to express her feelings directly.
All of this culminates to Yue having the impression that she'll never be liked or understood. It's led her to being incredibly closed off and hesitant to opening up about herself, making it hard to bridge her relationships with others. Her upbringing also led to her being accidentally coming off as indifferent or unempathetic, which does drive an emotional drift between herself and her peers.
Moreover, it becomes why Yue is surprised when Poitier protected her from Qi Xing's attack, and why her father did not react harshly to when she said she lost Qiangliang.
3. Special Interest and Escapism
Detective C07 defined most of Yue's life and values, and her love for this movie is integral to the story and her character arc. A lot of the values that Detective C07 (and Qi Xing) had, Yue found it in herself and she carried it for all her life.
It's one of the few things she tends to sacrifice things for, risking getting punished her parents to watch those movies when she's able to. The film Detective C07 had nestled a special place in her heart, and that influence brought her to who she is now as a Vigiles cadet.
However, this also contributes to some hinderances. She struggled to get past her love for the movie and it showed as a conflict in her story, especially when she had to harm Qi Xing to stop her.
In her mind, harming Qi Xing also meant harming Detective C07; and hurting Detective C07 also meant hurting the part where Yue saw herself in her.
Additionally, that sense of justice (or "right or wrong") can also be a hinderance to an extentâYue has a tendency to project that onto others without taking their feelings to consideration. Not only does her family's teachings have a hand in that, but it's also influenced by her interest in Detective C07 too. It becomes very evident in how she views C07's ending and how she treated other kids in her childhood.
4. Liang Yue and Qiangliang's relationship
When Yue reflects on her relationship with Qiangliang, she often says that she never got to understand it and might never be able to because of its sacrifice.
She claims that she never liked Qiangliang as a child, but it shows that she really loved it and often treated it as a friend. She often tried teaching it how to play like other kids, and Qiangliangâas much as it did not understandâtried to play as well.
That desire to understand Qiangliang as an individual is what made Yue succeed in resummoning it. I think Qiangliang had become a companion to her, and they greatly respected each other.
Companionship is also very much valued by neurodivergent people, as it establishes a lot of trust and deep mutual understanding. Qiangliang became Yue's companion because she was alone, and it shows that she also felt entirely whole when she could sense its presence.
What Yue didn't observe is that they placed an equal amount of trust in each other, but it's more clear to her now that they'll be able to bridge those gaps together moving forward.
5. Final Thoughts, Clarifications
Now, I figured that Liang Yue's character also represents the cultural dissonance between the modern youth and their connections to their traditions, especially when trying to trace back to it in society. There's no way I'm undermining this aspect of her writing.
However, I find that her traditional upbringing does greatly impact her actions as she grows up. As my friend from earlier talked about it, placing those high expectations on a child who happened to be able to connect with the very deity her family protected definitely hindered her growth as a person. She was raised to rely on herself and yet also protect others; this kind of position, as much as it is common, makes it difficult for her to understand others and herself.
We see how it affects her now, and how she struggles to simultaneously cope with: the cultural rift she found herself in when she was deployed in America, and struggling to socially connect with those around her.
Overall, I want to just share this because I personally resonate with Liang Yue a lot. And it makes me happy to see it when people also resonate with characters like her, leading them to share their own personal experiences.
I've written a twitter version of this post if you want a more summarized way of reading it, but do know that it is a little outdated compared to what I said here.
I hope this post does bring enjoyment for you to read as much as I did writing it. I'd really love to hear your own thoughts or hcs about Liang Yue too. As always, thanks for reading.
#reverse 1999#liang yue#character analysis#the babyy#i love her sm guys#i wanna protect her with my life ong
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đđđđđ đđđđđ đđ đđđ đđđ đđđ.
this is a repost from my old blog. original post was 300 notes.
pairing(s): eddie munson x female!barista!reader
words: 1468
warnings/tags: barista!au, eddie being shy.
eddie liked to think he was a romantic. he enjoyed rom-coms more-so than crime or drama, and as much as he loved horror. he liked the thought of being in love and caring for a person, everything being irretrievably about them. buying someone flowers, kissing their cheeks, and playing the guitar for them.
however, he had never been in a relationship. so, why was it the second the opportunity to be provided with the things heâs yearned for that heâs being such a coward? eddieâs foot taps against the gravel outside the small cafĂ© nervously while he waited to enter.
he leant against the wall, head low while his eyes scan the little notebook in one hand, the other handâs thumb picking the nail polish off his pointer finger as he reads frantically and nervously. eddie came here every. single. day. yet he was too nervous to step inside.
step 1 â start light. ask her how she is. step 2 â react to what she has to say, show youâre listening!!! Â step 3 â tell her she looks pretty. step 4 â ask her if sheâs busy later tonight. step 5 â ask her if she likes italian food. step 6 â if 4&5 are yesâ then make it clear ITâS A DATE.
there is an array of scribbles and differed handwriting across the small page, robin and steve previously fighting over the pen as they gave eddie pointers during the quiet day at family video. robin assuring sheâs a girl and knows, steve disagreeing and saying heâs a pro at this kind of thing.
eddie had talked about the barista he was quickly falling for, one day rushing in for a coffee before hellfire club only to meet the most beautiful person heâs ever seen. since then you had seen him in every day, ready for a coffee and sometimes to sit and spend his days tucked by his notepad.
with a smidgen of hope youâd feel the same way, eddie inhales deeply in preparation before stepping into the quiet cafĂ©. too early to have a lot of people, which was great, because it meant there was no queue holding him back from talking to you.
a smile creeped upon your face from the moment you saw him, glancing at his pad once more before stuffing it back in his back pocket. his eyes lock with yours and a goofy grin reaches the metal-heads lips, and you feel yourself swooning from behind the counter.
âhi eddie,â youâre so sweet, talking so delicately and calmly that eddie wants to reach over and kiss your precious cheeks right then and there. but he sticks to the list, wanting to be a gentleman and take his time.
step 1 â start light. ask her how she is.
eddieâs usually quite confident, flirty with you. leaving you with a wink and unfortunately nothing farther. so, you immediately notice the turn in attitude. his lip twitches while he smiles and eyebrows are furrowing, eyes blinking rapidly.
âmorning, itâs- yeah,â he begins, cursing to himself as he purses his lips and watches as your eyebrows raise in interest, youâre confused by how uncertain he seems. eddie continues before you can question him, âuh- how are you doing, how are you?â
you giggle at eddieâs rambled tone, light and airy and eddie feels himself relax that little bit more hearing it, if only it wasnât over how much of a fool he sounded. âiâm better now that youâre here, quiet morning.â
eddie nods, the flirty message flying right over his head as he tries to think back to the notes.
step 2 â react to what she has to say, show youâre listening.
âlooks quiet too, i can imagine the boredom.â
you nod this time. fingers fidgeting with the till register while looking up at eddie from across the counter, âwell my favourite customer has come in so i think thatâs the cue for my boredom to leave.â eddie blushes, physically blushes at this, cheeks quickly turning a light shade of pink from your words and tries to play it off.
âwonder who that might be.â you both laugh, eddieâs nerves slowly leaving him part by part as he thinks he can do this. maybe he can ask you out after all, it seems to be going so well.
step 3 â tell her she looks pretty.
god, you did look pretty. so so pretty. cute apron over your autumn-coloured clothes while your eyes sparkled in the morning glow, skin radiating and lips kissable. if you were together, eddie would make sure to tell you every day just how gorgeous you really were, he knows he would.
before eddie can muster up something else to say, youâre talking, âwhat can i get for you today, eddie?â you would be able to make eddie a drink every day without question if it werenât for his change in personalities.
one day itâs plain black coffee, no milks or sugars added, pure black coffee. or it was the most sickeningly sweet hot chocolate, syrups galore with sugar and almond milk to top it off, a âheart attack in a mugâ you always said to him. no in between order to suffice, eddie was one or the other.
âhot chocolate, please.â it was one of those days. when he ordered that he was happy or energized, not needing a wakeup call and wanting to indulge his sweet tooth. you know how he liked his hot chocolate order; he didnât need to add that part.
âto-go or to-stay?â you ask, eyes hopeful as your hands hover the takeaway cups and mugs to the side and eddie drags his eyes away from your pretty mouth and towards your eyes, feeling heâs been caught, âto-stay, sitting in today.â
âworking on more of your music?â you ask him, and eddie lets out a little nod with his lips pursed yet again. you can tell heâs thinking of something else and youâre proved right when he suddenly splutters, âyou look really pretty.â
you freeze your movements with a shocked smile, âthank you.â eddie continues before you can say much more, âseriously, really, really pretty.â eddieâs eyes scan over your frame once again and you try to not show how much his words affect your beating heart.
âare you flirting with me, munson?â you tease him, laughing as he scrunches his face, shaking his head as if to escape all his thoughts while leaning forward, hands on the counter. you tightly hold the mug for his drink between both your hands, smile dropping as you look up at him expectantly, âiâm just going to rush through this because iâm so fucking nervous, okay?â
âokay?â
step 4 â ask her if sheâs busy later tonight.
âwhen do you get off?â eddie asks, tone abrupt compared to the nervous tone moments ago, almost slightly desperate and youâre lucky the cafĂ©âs quiet and therefore no onlooking eyes to your flustered expression.
you stutter this time, briefly while you reply, âi-uh i close tonight, finish at seven.â eddie grins, wide and happy before he asks, âare you busy after?â
your eyes widen knowingly, âno, no iâm not doing anything tonight, no.â
step 5 â ask her if she likes italian food.
âdo you like italian food?â eddie asks and itâs as if everything falls into place. eddie munson is asking you out. finally. after the months of you hinting that you like him without the courage to ask him out yourself. he was looking at you with so much hope, scared that you may say you donât want to go out with him to eat italian food.
he must be an idiot if he thinks you donât like him back.
âi love pasta.â youâre so quiet with your response, almost a whisper. but more than enough for eddie to hear and heâs positively beaming from ear to ear as he builds up to his final question.
step 6 â if 4 is no and 5 is yes then make it clear ITâS A DATE.
âperfect. iâll be here at seven to take you to dinner, itâs a date,â eddie drums his hands against the counter when he leans back and you can only nod dumbfoundedly from the switch of him being precious and nervous to asking you out on a date.
âiâll uh- iâll bring your drink out to you once itâs done.â
eddie chuckles at the fact thatâs all you respond with, squeaked tone endearing as he winks at you. âiâll be over there, writing you a song,â eddie nods over to the side, pulling the pad and pen out his back pocket and chuckles once more when you react to his flirtatious manner with a small, âoh my god.â
he finally got that date with the cute barista; he just hoped the hours would go by quickly until it reached seven.
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#àȘâ⎠đđđđđđđđ đ°đšđ«đ€đŹ#đŹđđ«đđ§đ đđ« đđĄđąđ§đ đŹ â eddie munson à»ê±#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson imagine#stranger things au#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson fandom#eddie munson fics#eddie munson comfort
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Stolas Makes Decisions Alone
I'm here to predict more problems ahead for Stolas. But don't worry- I do think he'll get through them because of character growth.
Stolas has a pattern of taking drastic actions that he believes are right and getting so caught up in his own point of view that he doesn't really listen to anyone else. I don't think he realizes this about himself. As much as he's now dealing with the consequences of his decisions at the end of Season 2, he hasn't yet learned that he can't go it alone. That he needs to communicate with the people his decisions impact- namely Blitz and Octavia, the people he cares for most. What I'm saying is, even though he's not the only one, our lovely owl man is a misunderstanding factory.
As for why he's like this, I have some ideas, but first, let's quickly go over the ways we've seen this behavior play out in HB.
It's treated as kind of light in Season 1 . . . despite being great with words, he's a lousy communicator because he gets carried away with his own ideas.
In Murder Family, Stolas has no idea that Blitz is panicking and . . . yes, I believe feeling pressured in this moment, even if he likes the deal later. In Loo Loo Land, he doesn't pay attention to Octavia's (not subtle) reactions enough to realize that no, she does not want to go to Loo Loo, and she absolutely doesn't want to bring the person Stolas cheated with along as a bodyguard. Also . . . as soon as Stolas listens to Octavia here, their communication improves, and Octavia is allowed to decide on the next father daughter activity.
The independent decision making tendency becomes more serious . . . tragic . . . in The Full Moon.
Stolas goes into the episode with a plan to do what he believes is right (freeing Blitz from himself), and he's so set on it that he blindsides the guy and shuts him out at the first hint of rejection, unable to pay enough attention to realize that it's . . . not actually rejection, just another wounded person reacting to a sudden change, since the entire decision making process already happened inside Stolas's mind.
Okay . . . Mastermind and Sinsmas.
I'm letting him off the hook for Mastermind, because he had only seconds to do something to save Blitz's life. I don't think he's wrong here. BUT symbolically, in the courtroom, Stolas rarely looks at Blitz. Someone who loves him is standing behind him, and there are moments of recognition between them, but Stolas still faces the decision, and his fate, alone.
In Sinsmas, we get the most blatant version of this kind of decision making. Yes, I know he's off his meds and going through a lot. He could have waited a few more minutes for Blitz to get back and talked through his decision to march up to his palace and demand to see his daughter. Blitz could have helped him calm down, and they could've had a conversation and decided on the best way to do it.
But that isn't how Stolas makes decisions. It isn't how he's EVER made decisions. Helping Stolas would put Blitz in danger, or Blitz might try to convince him to wait. So in Stolas's mind, if it's a choice between being kept from his daughter and dying alone by Andrealphus's hand, well . . .
There's so much that could be discussed here. Medication/depression. Suicidality. Autism . . . does this pattern stem in part from difficulty reading social cues?
These are all topics worth analyzing but . . . here's one thing that I think is at the core of Stolas's character regardless of the situation or other factors.
Stolas had all of his decisions made for him for his entire life. No one consulted him. Ever. Not about his career. Not about his marriage. Not about how he would choose to behave and conduct himself in the world.
Then when he was somewhere between 18 and 20, he had a child. And suddenly, his decisions mattered. Not in the big ways for himself. He still had to carry out all of his responsibilities. But he could decide how to raise this kid (Stella wasn't really interested in raising her after all). He could do everything in his power to make her childhood joyful, to make her feel loved, to teach her that she could be herself.
The problem is, making decisions for a kid doesn't make you a great collaborative decision maker. Being a parent means being an authority. He wasn't totalitarian like his own father, but there wasn't really anyone to honestly talk through his decisions and process his emotions with. So he's spent 35ish years never making a decision with someone else.
He's also rich and powerful, and that both keeps him isolated and gives him . . . a somewhat outsized view of his own importance and ability to control situations, in my opinion.
But now Octavia is 17, and making decisions that impact her without adequately communicating doesn't really work anymore.
And the other person he loves is Blitz. And yes, Mastermind is an exception, but Blitz usually doesn't need to be rescued or protected. He certainly doesn't need to be protected from Stolas (i.e. The Full Moon). He needs a partner. And Stolas needs one too.
So yeah, until Stolas learns to communicate (or at least learns that it's necessary) I worry about what he'll go off and do on his own.
Note: please don't take this as me blaming EVERYTHING on Stolas. Blitz and Octavia both have some responsibility for the miscommunications that go on. I just think this particular tendency of Stolas's is interesting and wanted to explore it.
#helluva boss#my helluva meta#stolas#octavia#stolas goetia#stolitz#blitz#Discussion is welcome but#read the whole thing before you comment please
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Just a lil post about Taash and how I'm feeling about how ppl are reacting to them as someone who relates to them very strongly not only on the gender journey front, but also on the mom-issues front.
Cut for length b/c of course this won't actually be a "little" post lol
So I hear a lot of "Taash is too young" "Taash acts like a child" "Taash is too brash" "Taash has wildly binary views of the world" "Taash is thinks their reality is the world's reality" etc etc etc
And I'm here to say that as someone who realized that non-binary was a thing later in life, grew up trying to be them, but society was not only unwelcoming to that, but openly hostile at points, with a mom who had totally different interests, who very much wanted to protect them from the outside world to a point where it left them unprepared to deal with nuances of the world, etc, a mom who thought they were "just doing their best" but was never meant to be a mom, and never wanted to be a mom, didn't have the tools for mom-hood, who wanted to protect their child, but had no real idea how, and how every comment turned into the mom trying to steer her kid the right way, but just came out as a dig or a "you're not good enough" remark, AND looking after your mom in a world that is wholly unsuited to her, that she can't really adapt to and fit into, and kinda becoming her mom to a point so that your life completely revolves around her until you leave home?
Yeah. I get Taash. It's actually kinda freaky how, fantasy elements aside, I get Taash on a frightening level. (aside from the dragon stuff, we're both the same with that HELL YEAH DRAGONS)
Taash doesn't read young to me because I've always read young because of how I was raised. I didn't get the chance to figure myself out until I left home. I also had the benefit of being able to leave for college at a younger age, and got a chance to experience things away from my mom earlier. But seeing things in such a binary way, that's how it is when you're protected like that.
You don't want to admit how similar you are to how your mom sees the world, b/c she sees it in one way, and as you go through life, you get to learn differently. You come out of this situation INCREDIBLY judgmental at first. Why aren't THESE things conforming to MY reality. You come across as brash and childish. And when you get treated as such, it's triggering b/c that's how your mom treats you.
You hate how you look, you think you look like a freak b/c your mom is constantly commenting on your appearance. She does it out of love (she wants you to be healthy & not mocked by your peers) but she doesn't consider that constantly telling you not to look a certain way does damage. My self confidence only recovered in my thirties. I'm 4 days from my 38th birthday, and it took getting pregnant to finally be like "you know what, I don't hate myself & my body" which is MASSIVE for me.
So where do we get our self confidence? In things we enjoy, in hyperfocuses that we're good at. For me that's comics, naginata, fantasy & DA lore lol XD For Taash it's dragons, fighting, and working out. And when we falter there, it's devastating b/c it's the only way we can feel good about ourselves b/c our SELVES are disconnected and tucked away b/c they make us feel bad.
So I totally get how Taash reads to people. The autism aspects are more like my wife (who is autistic & has issues with social cues, while I'm HYPER AWARE of social stuff which fuels my anxiety b/c of the type of person my mom was and how I had to look after her), but I get it.
But it makes me sad when I hear people dunk on Taash as "bad writing" and "unrealistic" and "annoying" and it's like...is that how you see people like that? Is that how you see me and people like my wife? I feel like people aren't willing to look deeper so often (an issue with all the companions tbh & some day I'll have to get into my Davrin feels b/c BOY do I have them. Neve too, WHOOF) but I feel like if you do that in a game, I hope you don't do that irl.
anyway TLDR this is a Taash defense post b/c while they have a lot of issues, stuff they need to work out & have wrong opinions on stuff, they're growing, they're learning & they have to do it later than most. They're an incredibly complicated character with tons of nuance, and I can't wait to get deeper into their story and banter with companions in round 2 of my playthroughs, and then again in round 3
Sorry this is too long, and I'm sure not all of this was intended when they were written, but this is how it all clicked with me as someone who has lived a large portion of that stuff. Like, again, I'm nearly fucking FOURTY and I don't feel like I should be there yet b/c I started so far back. It ALSO doesn't help that ADHD wild child I was, I was held back in preschool b/c neurodivergence also makes a kid read younger, AND the choice to have me be the youngest in the class would have been a very bad one. So I'm older than most of my peers BUT I've always read younger, felt younger, and have had a sore spot when it comes to all that.
Thank you for coming to my Taash Talk, I'll be here all week to think about more stuff, including how their body makes them read as lady, and they're not sure how to feel about that, but they don't want to CHANGE it, but is it right?
ANYWHO this is why Taash is a fascinating character & deserves better than to be regulated to "annoying kid"
#dragon age#taash#datv spoilers#my spoiler tag#dragon age the veilguard#da companion deep dive#warning for Elaine childhood discussion too lol#mom trauma#this post is more of a vent place than anything#but if you like the digging into âwhy person like thatâ stuff on characters#you might like this too#also for anyone pulling a âfind me one person who actually is like Taash b/c it's soooo unrealisticâ it's me you found the one person#there are other ppl too of course but here I am
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Our New Normal Pt. 3 | Leah Williamson x Reader



Our New Normal 3/4 (pt.1) (pt.2)
Ding.Â
The ding of the elevator interrupts your train of thought. The closer you are to her flat, the more nervous you are about the inevitable. You had to tell her tonight. You had to tell Leah that you are transferring to Arsenal. This was the first time you had ever kept something so important from your best friend. The guilt was nearly eating you up inside and while you were nervous about how she might react to your news, you were ready to get rid of the weight baring down on your shoulders during the past couple of weeks.Â
You are gently pulled out of the elevator by the blonde, one of your hands tightly clasped in hers. You and Leah walk the short journey to her front door, the warm sensor lights illuminating the way as you walk further down the familiar hallway. Itâs hard to ignore the way your steps are synchronised, a reminder of how easy and effortless it feels like to be with the Arsenal defender.Â
But that could all change after tonight.Â
You begin to tug your hand out of hers so she can grab her house key, but she tightens her grip. Instead, Leah uses the hand that was pulling your luggage to fish out her key from the pocket of her trousers to unlock the front door. Your hand was safely intertwined in hers the entire time. This was normal. While Leah has always been an affectionate person, especially with you, you had a feeling that this was more than that. You had no doubt that the blonde can probably sense the change in your moodâ she could read your cues and signals better than anyone. Leah could probably tell that you are pulling away from her, even if she doesnât know the reason why, and she was stopping you from doing so. Literally.    Â
ââââââââââââââ
You never realised how much you detested coats and jackets, but now you have come to the realisation that they werenât your favourite thing. First of all, some coats on the market arenât insulated enough to keep you warm, and it can be very hard to find the perfect coat without spending so much money. Secondly, having a coat on meant that you have no choice but to let go of Leahâs hand in order to slip off your coat. Once your hand left hers, you immediately miss the comfort it provided. Not only were you enjoying the feeling of her hand in hers, but it gave you something to focus on instead of the onslaught of worrying thoughts that have begun to fill your mind. Every insecurity, doubt and uncertainty about how this night was going to go were now on the forefront of your mind.Â
âRight. Iâm gonna order a takeawayâ Leah walks over to switch the lights on, and her entire flat comes to life. She drops her keys onto the porcelain trinket tray that you had bought for her and wanders further into her flat. Leah has a tendency to misplace her keys, so you suggested setting up a designated place where she can leave her keys and so far there havenât been any incidents. Yet.
You follow in behind her, slipping your feet into a pair of shearling slippers that the blonde had bought for you a few months ago. They were terribly overpriced, thanks to the iconic âHâ cut-out that proudly boasts the luxury designer, but you couldnât refuse her very expensive gift when she had excitedly pulled out a matching pair for herself.
Walking straight into the lounge, you spot the merinos wool throw blanket that you had bought and left at her house. It was also a very expensive purchase, and not one you would usually make, but you justified it by saying itâs for both of you. You and Leah would nestle underneath the blanket together whenever you were watching trashy tv shows on her sofa. By the corner of the window, you see the Kentia Palm plant, nestled in a ceramic plant pot, that you routinely nag the blonde to mist regularly. The bookshelf across the sofa proudly displays frame photographs of the most special people in Leahâs life. Some with family, some with friends, and some with you. There were pictures from your early years at England camp, playing for the youth teams. There were also photos outside of football, photos that never made the instagram feed and were only just for your eyes.
There are remnants of you all over her home.Â
After delivering your luggage to the guest room, she walks over to you and cups your rosy cheeks in her hands. âPut something comfy on and warm up, baby.â
It wasnât long before you and Leah were seated at the table, a selection of all of your favourite Chinese takeaway dishes spread out in front of you. The aroma of sweet and sour chicken wafted through the air, mingling with the savoury scent of beef and broccoli; crispy spring rolls beckoned from their perch on a porcelain plate, making it almost difficult to choose which dish to taste first. Without further hesitation, the both of you began to tuck in. Together, you both sampled each dish with gusto, comfortable conversation and shared laughter filled the usual silence of the defenderâs flat. Leah animatedly told a story about the time Kyra pranked a few of the girls on the team by hiding their boots and shin pads around the training grounds and sending them on a wild goose chase to find them.
As the meal drew to a close, you both leaned back in your chairs, sated and content. Now was probably the right time to tell the Arsenal defender about your transfer. You put your chopsticks down and turn your gaze at your best friend.Â
âLeah, can we talkâŠâ
âSounds serious.â Leah puts her own pair of chopsticks down on top of her napkin before she pushes her plate to the side. âYou alright?â
âYeah. I-itâs nothing bad. At least I hope not for youâÂ
Leah leans forward in her seat. Thereâs a small smile on her face, but her eyebrows are furrowed slightly in concern. âYouâre making me nervous, babyâÂ
âI wanted to talk to you about my transferâŠâÂ
âLook, y/n.âÂ
A brief pause of silence.Â
Leah takes a deep breath before continuing âI want you to know that I wouldnât be mad if you signed for Chelsea. Honestly. It is still fucking weird to think about it though and Iâm seriously considering knocking you on the head a few timesâ but if they had put down an offer and you want it then go for it.â
âThatâs great, Lee, but-â
The blonde runs a hand through her hair in frustration, a habit she mustâve picked up from being around you so often. âI still canât believe Arsenal didnât put down an offerâ I mean, youâre one of the best midfielders in the world right now. Seriously.âÂ
âLeeââ
âAlthough itâs a bit weird that you would still consider playing for my rival club, like among all the wsl teams out there, you chose the club that happened to my clubâs direct rivalâ wait does that mean weâre rivals nowââÂ
âLEAHâ
âWHATâ
âI signed for Arsenalâ
One breath in, one breath out.Â
Two beats of your pulse.Â
ââŠfuck off.âÂ
âLeah!â
âDonât fucking joke about thatâ You wince at the sound of her chair scrapping against the hardwood floors as the blonde abruptly stands up. Her hands on her hips, face flushed red in anger. Annoyance even, perhaps. Her lips are pressed together firmly and her eyebrows are still furrowed.Â
âIâm not fucking joking. I signed for ArsenalâÂ
Silence.Â
Two more beats of your pulse.Â
âY/N listen to meâ my heart is up to my fucking ears right now, and I swear to bloody god if you are saying all this just to have a laughââ
The blonde in front of you begins to gesture wildly, hands pointing here and there but her posture remains stiff. A flicker of uncertainty danced across her gaze, mirroring the storm of thoughts that were probably racing through her mind at this very moment. The slight tremor in her hands betrayed the internal struggle as she sought to manage the anxiety probably bubbling within.
Every so often, Leahâs lips parted as if she wanted to speak, but it was as if the words remained trapped in the hesitancy of the moment. A subtle, rhythmic tapping of her foot on the floor betrayed the restlessness, a visual of the nervous anticipation coursing through her veins. You hear an audible hitch in her next inhaleÂ
and then silence again.
You give into the silence for a moment. Your own hands are trembling and your heart was pounding but you want to give the girl in front of you the time to process it. It takes a lot to leave Leah Williamson speechless, and if it were a different situation you wouldâve teased and bragged about how you had been the one to leave her completely speechless.
But now was not the time to joke around.
After another moment of silence, you could not take it anymore. The quiet was almost suffocating at this point, when it reality it had probably only been a few minutes.Â
You expected the blonde to be happyâ to be jumping for joy over the fact that the two of you will now be teammates for country and club. However, the lack of reaction was making you second guess your decision to sign for her club.Â
âLeahâŠâ You start, but then stop yourself. You hate seeing the uncertainty in her gaze. You hate the way the defender in front of you is hunched over slightly, almost as if she was trying to make herself smaller, seeking a shield against the external world that seemed to loom large around her.
You take a deep breath and start again. âIâm not lying. I did sign for Arsenal. I wouldnât lie to youââÂ
You wanted to explain things to her but she cut you off.Â
âYou made me think you were leaving meâ Hearing those words leave her lips nearly broke you.Â
Your chair rattles at the sheer force of how quickly you stood up to level her stare. âIâ I know, Lee, but I wanted to surprise youâÂ
âFor weeks I was stressinâ about where you would be moving to. I was trying to calculate how far Lyon was from Londonâ I was fucking looking up plane tickets, trying to figure out when I can come visitââ
You wanted to run. Like you normally would. You hated seeing the look on your best friendâs face. A face so familiar that it became a source of solace and comfort during your time of need. Now, however, the face looking back at you was filled with disappointment and distrust.Â
If it were some other time, you would be out of that room. You hated confrontation. You hated the feeling of being forced to say what you feel on the spot because the thought of accidentally blurting something horrible out in the heat of the moment terrified you.Â
But you werenât going to run this time. Not when Leah was being vulnerable and honest. Your usually strong and capable defender looked like she was the one that needed defending right now. But how were you going to do that when the one thing that was hurting her right now
âŠwas you.Â
âIâm sorry, Leah. I really amâ Your hands were trembling. You felt like you were losing her, and yet she was never even yours to begin with.Â
You close your eyes, taking a moment to will your heart to stop pounding so hard. âI wouldâve told you earlierâ honestly. But then I started to have second thoughtsâ I mean I started to worry aboutââÂ
The next words were stuck in your throat. Tears had started to well up in your eyes, and the soon enough your vision of the blonde in front of you was drowned out by tears. You hastily start wiping away your tears when you feel another hand reach out to grab hold of your arm. A warm thumb gently glides across the span of your cheeks, brushing your tears away lightly.
âDonât cry. I canât stay mad at you if you cryâ It was said in a hushed murmur. Like she had just divulged in a secret, in a confession.Â
You push her arm away slightly. She was standing a little too close. Close enough that you could fall into her and she would catch you. But you wanted to explain things before you gave into the urge to run away like always.Â
âI really didnât mean to lie to you. I swear, Leah. I was worried that you wouldnât like me being around you to muchââÂ
An eyebrow raise from the blonde was her only reply. Leah had expressed to you multiple times that she wanted you at Arsenal in passing over the years, but you couldnât help the small nagging doubt that clouded your mind once in a while.Â
Leah chooses to remain silent for the most part. In the many years that she has known you, this is the first time she has ever seen you lay all your cards out right in front of her, so there was no chance in bloody hell that she was going to interrupt you. Leah often joked that you were the master of avoidance. Whenever a difficult conversation loomed on the horizon, you would flee from the confrontation rather than face it head-on. It wasn't that you were afraid of conflict, but rather that you found it easier to run away than to confront the issue at hand.Â
She had gotten used to your flighty responses every time you argued, so this change was a surprise to her.Â
And she was so proud of you.Â
Her usually reserved and collected girl was pouring her heart out, and she was more than ready to piece it back together againâ once you were done speaking, of course.Â
A lock of your hair falls in front of your face but before you can reach up to push it away, Leah does it for you. Her touch was feather-light as she tucks your hair behind your ear. This was normal. It was a simple act, one she had done countless of times before, but each time it felt like a reaffirmation of the unspoken intimacy between the two of you.Â
You grab her hand before it can fall back to her side. You need something to steady you as your world falls on its axis, and Leah was your anchor. She gives your hand a squeeze, taking a step closer to you.Â
Gone were the piercing blues earlier, instead they were now replaced by a softer, warmer look. She gives your hand another squeeze when she notices your slightly dazed expression. âContinue, babyâÂ
The familiar nickname gives you butterflies. Like it always does.
âI was beginning to second guess my transfer because I was scared that us being around each other so much would ruin our friendship. Y-you know that saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Yeah, well what happens if we see each other too much? I-if there is no absenceââ
âBaby, what the fuck are you on aboutâ
âThat saying thatââ
âI donât give a fuck what a saying saysâ She air-quotes with her fingers. âI want you with me all the time.â
The defender squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, trying to suppress the urge to simultaneously yell out in frustration and laugh. Not at you, but at your absurd idea that she would grow tired of you. She finds that idea laughable.Â
âY/N, listen to me. I was upset because I wanted to be there for you. We did almost everything together. Remember when we signed our first professional contract, we did it togetherââÂ
You cut her off. âActually you signed yours first. Mine was a couple days after because the mens team had a match at Old TraffordâÂ
The familiar, unimpressed look the blonde gave you had you fighting to a grin. Maybe everything will be alright.Â
âI saw the comments when you announced your transfer. I saw the fucking nasty ones too, about how you were selfish for leaving United, and I wanted to be there for you every step of the way. To protect you from all thatâ
âYou canât protect me from everything, Leeâ
âThat doesnât mean I canât fucking tryâ
Leah takes a deep breath before focusing her gaze at you again. Her voice was quieter this time, timid. âI just feel like youâve essentially shunned me from such a big step of your career. Like this is your first club transfer and I wasnât a part of it in any wayâ not that I think I deserve to be because itâs your career but likeâ fuck we usually did everything together ya know..â
âI know I probably sound so selfish right now, y/n, but I felt like you didnât want me to be a part of that. I felt like you were pulling away from meâÂ
You frown. You were so focused of keeping this entire transfer surprise away from Leah that you did not expect her to feel left out in the process. Maybe you shouldâve been more attentive. Whenever Leah would ask about your transfer, you would brush off her questions and quickly change the subject. You didnât think that by doing so, you were making her feel like you didnât care about her feelings.Â
âIâm sorry, Leah. I didnât think that by keeping this away from you, I was pushing you away. I was just so focused on surprising youâŠâ
âSâalright. I do feel like Iâm oversteppingââÂ
âNo. You have every right to feel this way, Lee. Youâre a huge part of my life and youâre rightâ we do everything togetherâ
âYeah. Well it seems like weâll be doing a lot of things together from now onâ Her tone was now light, and playful.Â
Leah finally breaks the looming tension with a smile, but not just any smile. Sheâs smiling the kind of smile that she only reserves just for you. With her lips curved in a tender crescent, her smile held the promise of a thousand intimate secrets, like the ones shared and whispered at 2 am in the morning during England camp. Her blue eyes, now alight with affection and warmth, drawing you into their depths like a moth to a flame. It wasn't just the physicality of her smile that captivated youâit was the way it spoke volumes without uttering a single word. It was the silent reassurance it offered whenever she knew you needed it.Â
In Leahâs smile, you found solace, understanding, and an unwavering sense of home.
âWeâll see how we get on when weâre together 24/7â You mutter, still not fully convinced.Â
âBaby, listen to meâ The blonde cups your face in her hands, lightly stroking your cheek with her thumb. âQuit being such a worrywart. Yeah, weâll probably get on each otherâs nerves. Thatâs normal. Iâll do things thatâll piss you off, youâll tell me to go âfuck myselfâ and vice versa. Weâll still disagree on thingsâ like how youâll probably nag me about forgetting my boots at training, or how Iâll have to remind you about refilling the petrol in the car because I have an irrational fear of you being stranded somewhere with no petrolâ
Leah waits a moment, wanting you to process what she just said. Her gaze firm, unwavering. When she notices your eyes start to water again, she knows itâs not because youâre sad or angry. She knows youâre just overwhelmed. She pulls you close, and tucks your face into the crook of her neck. With your tears wet against her neck and your arms hanging limp by your side, she can almost feel your exhaustionâ both from the events of day and the emotional rollercoaster you both had to endure today.Â
You welcome her embrace, wanting to bury yourself in the safety and comfort of her arms. She faintly smells like her favourite perfume, delicate notes of jasmine and cedar wood still cling to a warm spot on the side of her neck. You nestle further into her. Â
"That's normal, baby. Otherwise relationships and friendships would be far too easy, too boring. But we will always work it out in the end. That's how we work. You run, I follow. I get angry, you calm me down. That's us. And that won't change just because we see each other more often. I promise"
After another minute of silence, Leah pulls back slightly. She gently grabs your face out from where it was buried in her neck, so you could meet eye to eye again. She frowns at the sight of your tear-stained cheeks, and uses her thumbs to wipe away the lingering tracks of moisture that streaked down your cheeks.
âEnough tearsâ She mutters, bringing your face close and resting her forehead against yours. A whispered secret only meant for the two of you. âYouâre breaking my heart, babyâÂ
She presses a kiss on your forehead, her lips soft and warm against your skin. âDo you understand what I said earlier? About not being a worrywart?â âmânot a worrywartâ The blonde chuckles at the pout that you give her. Your eyes are still glassy, the tip of your nose red, and your hair was a mess, but to her you were the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Bloody adorable too.Â
You poke her playfully on her side, giggling when she jerks away and narrows her eyes at you, but her lips are already curled upwards.Â
âI understand, Lee.âÂ
The next thing you know the blonde has wrapped her arms around you waist, lifting you up and leaving your feet dangling in midair. You squeal and quickly move to wrap your arms around her neck tightly. You knew she wouldnât drop you. You trusted her more than anyone else in the world. You were just looking for an excuse to hold her close. You laugh by her ear as she spins the both of you around a few times, excited cheers and whoops replace the tense silence earlier.Â
When she stops spinning and your feet are planted firmly back on the ground again, you both stand there grinning at each other before she breaks the moment.Â
âYouâre now a Gunner.â âWoahhh hang on a minuteâ â Placing both of your hands on the blondeâs chest, you push her away lightly. You are also hyperaware of her hands that are still resting on your hips, a thumb hooked onto one of your jeanâs belt hoop.Â
Ignoring the pounding of your heart from Leah spinning you around just a second ago, and now from the mere proximity of her, you narrow your eyes at her.Â
âLee, that actually gave me the ick. Donât call me thatâ You groan, but your whining falls deaf to her ears.Â
âY/L/N is now a bloody fucking Gunnerâ She practically screams at your face, her smile growing at your less-than-enthusiastic face.Â
The blonde then abruptly pauses her celebrations âBet your spurs fan dad wasnât too happyâ
âOh he was fuminââ Leah laughs loudly at that. She and your dad often butted heads, especially during derby days when the mens team were playing against each other. They would purposely rile each other up and taunts would be thrown throughout the match, but it was all in good fun. Leah didnât know it, but your dad would secretly root for Arsenal when she was on the pitch. When you called him out for it, he said he was âcheering for Leah, not Arsenal.â Yeah right.
In the moody lighting of Leahâs kitchen, shadows dance across the walls like silent spectres, lucky to have been granted a peek into what seems to be the beginning of a new chapterâ not just for youâ but for Leah as well.Â
Leah, who had been by your side for many, many years. Leah who has been your friend, your confidant, and your lifeline.Â
ââŠso weâre actually going to be teammates at Arsenal, huh?â
In the corners of this kitchen, shadows linger like forgotten whispers. The soft glow of the pendant ceiling light that you had given her as a house-warming gift hangs above the dining table, casting a gentle hue over the both of you. The flickering flames of the candles that decorate the table dance across the room like fireflies in the night.
âIt appears that wayâÂ
Itâs hard to ignore the way shadows dance across her cheeks, the soft light tracing the contours of her jawline and the arch of her brows. Her eyes, darker than usual in the dimness, glimmer. The faint light catches the sparkle in her eyes, leaving you almost breathless from the intensity of her gaze.Â
She takes a step closer to you, until you could almost feel her breath as it fans across your face.
âAnd weâre going to be seeing each other a lotâ
She reaches out to take your hand in hers.Â
âYep. At training, recovery, meal times, team meetingsâŠâ
Your eyes are drawn to the way her tongue peeks out to wet her bottom lip. A nervous habit of hers that you have become familiar with over the years. Her lips part slightly, catching the light in a soft gleam, their natural colour deepened. She cranes her neck down slightly, forcing your gaze away from her lips and back to meet her eyes. If she noticed you staring at her lips, she doesnât mention it. Instead, with her voice barely above a whisper, she began to speak.
âMove in with meâ
For a brief moment, it was just silence as you both take in what this means for the both of you. This kitchen became a place of quiet refuge from the outside world. Here, you told your best friend and the woman who has somehow crammed her way into your heart that your lives will change.Â
You were not only going to be teammates who only saw each other during national duty camp, but now your lives will be intertwined even further. Here, amidst the flickering shadows and muted glow of her kitchen, time seems to stand still. Tonight, you will bask in these moments of intimacy and secrets that are only meant for the two of you, before the rest of the world found out.Â
âYes.â
The much much-awaited chapter was worth it. Hopefully I met all your expectations (if you had any lol). It was a bit angsty-ish but I hope the ending made it worth it considering I was thinking about leaving it on a cliffhanger
but I'm not that evil.
Here's to breaking more glass ceilings. Happy International Women's day, my loves!
-- kisses, butter.
*This work is my original creation. Please donât copy, share, or translate it without asking for my permission first. Thanks for respecting that!
#woso#woso fanfics#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso blurbs#woso community#leah williamson imagine#Our New Normal fic
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Hey I've been wanting to ask you for a while a request I've had. Can I have some headcanons of the mercenary's realizing their feelings for the 10th merc after they brutally bash in a enemy's skull in for trying to kill said merc. And then the 10th merc looks at them with extreme concern while checking up on them. Before turning around and killing another enemy that was about to kill them.
I would love to see the mercenary's reaction to being saved by their crush and having to deal with the horny panic of finding them attractive.
If you dont want to do this that's fine. Thanks again for making really good tf2 x reader content! I love it! Byebye have a good day/night.
The Mercs realizing they have feelings for Y/N after watching them brutally kill an enemy (NSFW)
WARNING: severe amounts of simping
Scout:
- Oh. Oh.. OH. OHH NOOO! OUR SCOUUTTT. HEâS BROKKEEENNN
- You look so dazzling with the blood on your clothes and the rockets whizzing past you. The explosions in the background creating a fine backdrop. Cue the cheesy romantic 40s music as you kill people in slow motion and Scout is in awe.
- Youâre confused. He had been standing there even after you had successfully cleared the point. You wave your hand in front of his face and he doesnât react.
- In his head heâs already having romantic fantasies of frolicking with you on the beach and bashing in peopleâs heads. The idea of you beating the shit out of him particularly makes him feel a certain way. He has no idea why. Oh god, is this normal? Wait.. Why is he already having thoughts of marrying you and growing old together?
- Immediately goes whining to Spy like a little pussy about you. Heâs batshit scared of you but also has the most confusing boner. Good job. You sent him crying after his daddy. You hear a âSPYYYYYYYYYYYeeeEEEE!â as you leave the battlefield. Followed by a groan from said frenchman.
âââââââââââââââââââââââ-
Soldier:
âNOW HANG ON PRIVATE THATS NOT EXACTLYâ Oh.. Ah..â Soldier hisses through his teeth and puts his fist to his mouth, his helmet falls back a bit from the impact you made of kicking an enemy demomanâs sticky bomb back to him. You can see his expression is incredibly conflicted about this. With mild arousal. Holy shit. Somebody as batshit crazy as him. Who the hell kicks an active explosive?
- Because on one hand, youâre impractical yet affective at what you do. Just like him. But on the other hand thatâs HIS THING. NOT YOURS! Heâs one to act incredibly erratic on many occasions when strategy is in the back of his head awaiting the stupidly fast yet eons long conveyor belt.
- Becomes incredibly infatuated by you on the spot. Creating a sort of vague idea in his head on what you could be like. Cue very vivid fantasies of you and him strangling a sumo wrestler while naked, claiming france as an American owned country for some reason by sticking the flag into the tip of the Eiffel tower while naked, and having a fine American breakfast on the deck of your cottage.. (while naked.)
- âIs that a pistol in your pants or are you just happy to see me?â You ask him afterwards. âNEGATIVE. THATâS A ROCKET. I ran out of room.â He lies. You believe him because that sounds like something heâd do.
âââââââââââââââââââââââ-
Demoman:
- You destroy a sentry nest he was trying to demolish around a choke point. Heâs both offended, and slightly attracted. Youâve destroyed his pride and humbled him. Normally Demoman is the only one who can take down a sentry nest unless Medic has full charge on somebody â among other things.
- He opens his mouth to protest but you silence him with an award winning smile that makes his heart flutter. As you run past him to head over to Medic and regain your strength, heâs scratching his stubble. Trying to comprehend the slurry of feelings. Demoman is an adult and heâs old enough to be fully aware that you can feel multiple emotions at once; that doesnât make him any less disoriented though.
- âAy.. finally somebody whoâs on my level!â he calls after you. Promising heâll outrank you next round. His competitive nature demands it. Heâs trying so hard to ignore his boner right now. Assuming it to be just from adrenaline.
- Well, youâre tied. Youâre both equal amounts on the next scoreboard. He stares at it on the intel computer terminals in disbelief. He immediately downs a shit load of his scrumpy. Holy shit. He has a massive crush on you now. Begins to wonder how drunk he can get before he forgets about this.
âââââââââââââââââââââââ-
Engineer:
- You distract him so much he doesnât even realize the jammed shell in his shotgun at first. Youâve made him lose like half of his life experience in a fraction of a second and he tries to take out the jammed shell and ends up burning himself. âGod. DANGIT.â
- inwardly embarrassed and trying to make it seem like all was normal; he slaps the back of the gun so the shell falls out. Continues trying to defend the points⊠emphasis on tries. Youâre his type AND youâre blood thirsty. He canât help but feel slightly intrigued. The sparks of what would eventually be a crush once he starts talking to you more.
- He canât bring himself to think filthy thoughts of someone he just met, he wasnât raised like that. Occasionally the thought crosses his mind and he becomes a little angry with himself. Please stop being sexy in front of somebody who was raised in the bible belt. PLEASE! he would beg you if it didnât sound so weird out of context.
- Fuck it. Christian shame doesnât beat nature. He has to jerk off to the thought of you after battles in the shower. Youâve fucked him up.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Heavy:
- âHeavy, iâm fully charged. Focus on the soldiers in the front and tell me when toâ Was zur Hölle?!â Medic complains, looking away from Heavyâs WAY too apparent hard on.
- Heavy would make a great ice sculpture right now. Heâs both sweating and frozen in place as he watches you tear the enemy lines to shreds. He rarely feels this way for anybody at all. Heavy was certain his libido evened out as he got older but you just brought him back to square one. He felt like a horny teenager again.
- He wants to lick the blood off your neck so bad. Itâs disgraceful. He feels like a disgusting sewage pipe and suddenly wishes the respawn machine didnât exist so he could permanently die out here just to forget this even happened.
- Eventually waves his hand for Medic to pocket someone else. Goes over and helps you kick some ass. You indirectly both bond from this and successfully kickstart your connection.
âââââââââââââââââââââââ-
Pyro:
- Youâre the same as them in their point of view. A âmisunderstoodâ killer (Yeah, okay..) who wanted nothing more than peace of mind while they went about their daily business!
- The enjoy he sees in your eyes as you land a hit is marvelous. Every single swing of your melee felt like some sort of complex ballet. There was birds and neon colors following you wherever you went. Youâve now given them a weird fetish for adept mercenaries they had no idea they even had. They want to meet you RIGHT NOW.
- air blasts a poor demoman off a cliff you were fighting. âHey. Itâs alright. I got this.â You tell them. Pyro just tilts their head. You walk on to cap the cart and Pyro follows closely behind you. âWhatâs up?â You finally ask him, out of curiosity. Pyro just stares. You begin to recall horror stories that the other mercs told you of Pyro.
- They continue following you around as your own personal bodyguard. Engineer tells you that he does the same to him on occasion. To the extent of protecting his sentries. Apparently Pyro just follows people around like a dog because they have no idea how to communicate their interest.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Sniper:
- Watches you a day before a match doing target practice atop a bridge. The targets in question are in the ravine below. The way you so effortlessly hit each target, only missing a few â for some reason caught his attention. He lowered his scope from his eye and preferred the entertainment of you for a moment.
- You get angry after only missing two. Taking your long range and throwing it aggressively into the ravine. Sniper has no clue why you did this, considering youâre the first person in a while who hasnât fucked up this course right off the bat. For some reason your aggression is getting him hot and bothered. Is this just a weird preference or a sexual thing? Holy shit, he has no idea.
- Sniper brings his legs together to hide his wood. âEyes both open with a gun like that, mate. Instinctive to close an eye but I guarantee you, if ya just focus on nothing but the target then boom.â He says. Wondering if maybe he was just overthinking and his penis was being insane.
- âAs if you shoot with anything else besides a fucking sniper rifle.â You talk back. âI do, actually.â He says, shrugging at your rage. He didnât feel like sassing back right now. He was tired. âI could show ya if ya want.â
- He bites his lip, applying pressure to the point itâs red. It was both your bad attitude and shooting skills. He loved a partner who was needlessly edgy. This is seriously the type of guy to swoon over the most edgiest of individuals. Eat nails for breakfast and wear a biker vest for godâs sake while youâre at it.
âââââââââââââââââââââââ
Medic:
- Uhm.. Medicâs a little weird.
- Not only is he aroused by you in general but the blood on your clothes and in your hair. The way you kill enemies in-and-itself is arousing him. Much like Engineer he tries to focus on his job to no avail. Ends up pocketing you all day and after the other Mercs ask him about it, he claims itâs because theyâre all annoying and not doing their jobs correctly again.
- He sits at his desk at night trying to do paperwork. He canât focus after what heâs seen today. He begins having incredibly fucked up fantasies of eating your organs. Or you climbing into his chest and sleeping in there. Better yet? sex with both your entrails hanging out! knife play! biting! Dear god heâs gross. God, just shut up.
- He puts a hand to his own heart, feeling his heartbeat. For a second he suspected he was getting possessed or something. But no, heâs just incredibly horny. âArchimedes.â Medic said breathlessly. âI do believe iâm moonstruck. Which is unacceptable..â He sort of laughs nervously.
- Coooo. Brrr.
- âYes, I wholeheartedly agree.â His voice is hoarse. Medic picks up his bonesaw at the end of his table and looks at his own reflection in it. âEvery time I love somebody it ends horribly. Best just get what I want and move on.â He says, darkly. What he doesnât know is that this is the start of his relationship with you. Enticing you to have sex with him â with your consent â it brings you and him to an incredibly intimate level.
ââââââââââââââââââââ-
Spy:
- MOTHERFUCKER AINT PLAYIN. he doesnât waste time. He sees a fellow serial killer and he immediately goes in for the kill. (Pun intended.) But yeah this is Spy weâre talking about here. Heâs a manwhore and I thought the canon already established that.
- âThat was some fine work out there.â He tells you slowly. His hands behind his back. âWould you care to join me for a second?â He offers his hand. Which you take hesitantly. He takes you to his quarters and attempts to court you. Which works because heâs something straight out of a romance movie with his clever quips.
- âI have a feelingââ He begins, slowly offering his hand and hovering it above your thigh, placing it down and rubbing you slowly when he didnât sense any discomfort. âThat we will enjoy each otherâs company often, my pet.â He looks for your approval. Any sign of it.
- Dude is so fucking slick that you canât resist him. Heâs unbelievably experienced in romance and knows how to charm his way into your pants. It was like you were under a spell by a hypnotic snake. He ends up getting what he wants and doesnât hold back. His knife is threatening your back and heâs atop you. âShhh.â
- Sex happens. Aggressive sex. Right off the bat.
#team fortress 2#tf2#demoman x reader#heavy x reader#medic x reader#spy x reader#tf2 x reader#tf2 x you#pyro x reader#sniper x reader
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I saw this really interesting video, which talked about my two biggest gripes with challengers' discourse. Which are that everyone keeps saying Art is the heart of this movie, and secondly, the insistence that Patrick doesn't love Tashi, only Art. The creator pushes back against these two narratives, and I wholeheartedly agree. Patrick is arguably the heart of this movie.
Two of the most important scenes in the movie are the churro scene and the scene between p/t out in the storm, and they both centre around Patrick.
The entire movie is about passion and purpose in life, and Patrick is the passion.
I mean, a lot of people assume Patrick didn't really have feelings for Tashi, but the only person who says that is Art. Who is vying for Tashi and is his biggest competitor. The reason I empathise with Patrick is that he is genuine and loving to Art; he does love him. However, we are shown no evidence to suggest that Patrick is this shitty boyfriend, apart from what Art says when he's trying to get into Tashi's head because his jealous. We find out that they're talking every week while he's on tour (normal relationship shit). It's Art who insinuates that Patrick is cheating while on tour. The only person in this movie who says Patrick doesn't love Tashi is Art, and it's obviously very intentional.
I think the reason both Tashi and Art push Patrick out of their lives is because he forces them to comfort parts of themselves they are not yet comfortable with. I mean, it's obvious why Tashi would react that way to Patrick; she's just lost the most important thing in her life. However, I think it's tragic from Patrick's point of view as well. I mean, what did Patrick really do? He got into a fight with his girlfriend because she hurt his feelings.
And no, he's hurt was not about Art. The fight made him feel unimportant, which made him feel like she didn't actually care about him. And that's where Art comes in, because who was going around telling Patrick Tashi didn't give a shit? You bet ya. Art. Art absolutely got into his head. And even if he clocked it, in that moment, he still allowed it to get to him because he was emotional and upset. And because he was too hurt to support her, he was thrown out of Tashi and Art's lives.
And here's the thing, Patrick never saw Tashi as an idea. He saw her as a real person, unlike Art kinda did. Patrick wasn't going to let Tashi treat him like shit just because she was special. And, tbh, if Tashi hadn't gotten injured, I think it's something she would have eventually been grateful for. But instead, she got hurt; she pushed Patrick away, and Art slid into his place, telling her that she could be his entire world and the star. That's not healthy, and sorry to stay a little manipulative.
And let's talk about Art. Patrick and him were literally fire and ice. They always had this underlying desire. They were perfect opposites. Let's face it: Art could never replicate what he had on the court (and off) with anyone else. But instead of confronting his feelings, he took the first chance he had to get Patrick out of his life.
The girl I was watching said it perfectly, "Art and Tashi allowed themselves to find consolation prizes in each other and allowed them to run from parts of themselves they didn't want to comfort and in turn enable each other's worst habits."
Art tries to become a tennis superstar so Tashi can live through him, and Tashi gives him a family so he can finally be confident in who he is. But is there any passion? I don't know; I think at some point, it drained; nothing about what I saw on screen apart from their initial get-together screams passion.
Cue Patrick walking back into their life and showing them how they can feel. Art was always going to let Tashi live through him, but that was never going to be satisfying for her. Tashi needs to find a way to create an identity for herself, separate from him. And I believe it'll be the only way she'll live a satisfying life. That's why they need Patrick: to make them realise that and to help them rediscover their passion.
I think people think that Art is the heart because Patrick admits to being a piece of shit. But the truth is, they're all dicks; Patrick was just the only one who was willing to admit it.
#challengers movie#challengers#patrick zweig#art donaldson#tashi duncan#josh o'connor#mike faist#zendaya
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đ§ HUMAN LOGIC IS A BIOLOGICAL TOOL, NOT A UNIVERSAL TRUTH â DEAL WITH IT đ§

đȘ Your Brainâs Favorite Lie: That Logic Is âObjectiveâ.
Letâs stop playing nice. Your logicâyour beautiful, beloved, oh-so-precious sense of what âmakes senseââis not divine. Itâs not universal. Itâs not even reliable. Itâs a biologically evolved, meat-based survival mechanism, no more sacred than your gag reflex or the way your pupils dilate in the dark.
Youâre walking around with a 3-pound wet sponge between your earsâtrained over millions of years not to âunderstand the universe,â but to keep your ugly, vulnerable ass alive just long enough to breed. Thatâs it. Thatâs your heritage. Thatâs the entire raison dâĂȘtre of your logic: donât get eaten, donât starve, and hopefully, bone someone before you drop dead.
But somewhere along the line, that same glitchy chunk of gray matter started patting itself on the back. We started believing that our interpretations of reality somehow were realityâthat our logic, rooted in the same neural sludge as tribal fear and monkey politics, could actually comprehend the totality of existence.
Newsflash: it canât. It wonât. It was never meant to.
đ Evolution Didnât Build You for TruthâIt Built You to Cope.
Why do we think the universe must obey our logic? Because it feels good. Because it comforts us. Because a cosmos that operates on cause-effect, fairness, and binary resolution is safe. But hereâs the raw, uncaring truth: the universe doesnât give a shit about what âmakes senseâ to you.
Your ancestors didnât survive because they could contemplate quantum mechanics. They survived because they could run from predators, recognize tribal cues, and avoid eating poisonous berries. Thatâs what your brain is optimized for. You donât âthinkâ so much as you react, pattern-match, and rationalize after the fact.
Logic is just another story we tell ourselvesâan illusion of control layered over biological impulses. And weâve mistaken the map for the terrain. Worseâweâve convinced ourselves that if something defies our version of logic, it must be false.
Nah. If anything defies your logic, that just means your logic is insufficient. And it is.
đ Spaghetti Noodle vs Earthquake: A Metaphor for Your Mind.
Imagine trying to measure a 9.7-magnitude earthquake using a cooked spaghetti noodle.
Thatâs what itâs like when a human tries to understand the totality of the universe using evolved meat-brain logic. It bends. It flails. It doesn't register. And when it inevitably fails, what do we do? We don't question the noodleâwe deny the earthquake.
"This doesn't make sense!" we scream. "That can't be true!" we bark. "It contradicts reason!" we whine.
Your reason? Please. Your âreasonâ is the product of biochemical slop shaped by evolutionary shortcuts and social conditioning. Youâre trying to compress infinite reality through the Play-Doh Fun Factory that is the prefrontal cortexâand you think the result is objective truth?
Try harder.
đ Our Logic Is Not Only LimitedâItâs Delusional đ
Humans are addicted to the idea that things must âmake sense.â But that urge isnât noble. Itâs a coping mechanismâa neurotic tic that keeps us from curling into a ball and sobbing at the abyss.
We donât want truth. We want familiarity. We want logic to confirm our biases, reinforce our sense of superiority, and keep our mental snow globes intact.
This is why people still argue against things like:
Multiverse theories (âthat just doesnât make sense!â)
Non-binary time constructs (âhow can time not be linear?â)
Quantum entanglement (âspooky action at a distance sounds made-up!â)
AI emergence (âmachines canât think!â)
We call them âimpossibleâ because they offend the Church of Human Logic. But the universe doesnât follow our rulesâit just does what it does, whether or not it fits inside our skulls.
đ§Ź Logic Is a Neural Shortcut, Not a Cosmic Law đ§Ź
Every logical deduction you make, every syllogism you love, is just a cascade of neurons firing in meat jelly. And while that may feel profound, itâs no more âobjectiveâ than a cat reacting to a laser pointer.
Letâs break it down clinically:
Neural pathways = habitual responses
Reasoning = post-hoc justification
âLogicâ = pattern recognition + cultural programming
Sure, logic feels universal because it's consistent within certain frameworks. But thatâs the trap. You build your logic inside a container, and then get mad when things outside that container donât obey the same rules.
That's not a flaw in reality. That's a flaw in you.
đ Science Bends the Knee, Too đ
Even scienceâour most sacred institution of âobjectivityââis limited by human logic. We create models of reality not because they are reality, but because theyâre the best our senses and brains can grasp.
Think about it:
Newtonâs laws were âtruthâ until Einstein showed up.
Euclidean geometry was âtruthâ until curved space said âlol nope.â
Classical logic ruled until Gödel proved that even logic canât fully explain itself.
Weâre not marching toward truth. Weâre crawling through fog, occasionally bumping into reality, scribbling notes about what it might beâthen mistaking those notes for the cosmos itself.
And every time the fog clears a bit more, we realize how hilariously wrong we were. But instead of accepting that we're built to misunderstand, we cling to the delusion that next time weâll finally âget it.â
Spoiler: we wonât.
đ Alien Minds Would Find Us Adorable đ
Imagine a being with cognition not rooted in flesh. A silicon-based intelligence. A 4D consciousness. A non-corporeal entity who doesnât rely on dopamine hits to feel âtrue.â
What would they think of our logic?
Theyâd laugh.
Our logic would seem as quaint as a toddlerâs crayon drawing of a black hole. Our syllogisms? A joke. Our âlaws of physicsâ? Regional dialects of a much deeper syntax. To them, weâd be flatlanders trying to explain volume.
And the real kicker? They wouldnât even hate us for it. Theyâd just look at our little blogs and tweets and peer-reviewed papers and whisper: âAw, theyâre trying.â
đŁ You Are Not a Philosopher-King. You Are a Biochemical Coin Flip.
Donât get it twisted. You are not some detached, floating brain being logical for logicâs sake. Every thought you have is drenched in emotion, evolution, and instinct. Even your "rationality" is soaked in bias and cultural conditioning.
Letâs prove it:
Ever âlogicallyâ justify a bad relationship because you feared loneliness?
Ever dismiss an argument you didnât like even though it made sense?
Ever ignore data that threatened your worldview, then called it âflawedâ?
Congratulations. Youâre human. You donât want truth. You want safety. And logic, for most of you, is just a mask your fears wear to sound smart.
đȘ We Have to Kill the God of Logic Before It Kills Us.
Our worship of logic as some kind of untouchable deity has consequences:
It blinds us to truths that donât âcompute.â
It makes us hostile to mystery, paradox, and ambiguity.
It turns us into arrogant gatekeepers of ârationality,â dismissing what we canât explain.
Thatâs why Western culture mocks intuition, fears spirituality, and rejects phenomena it canât immediately dissect. If it doesnât bow to the metric system or wear a lab coat, itâs seen as âwoo.â
But hereâs the paradox:
The deepest truths may be the ones that never fit inside your head. And if you cling to logic too tightly, youâll miss them. Hellâyou might not even know they exist.
â ïž So What Now? Do We Just Give Up? â ïž
No. We donât throw logic away. We just stop treating it like a universal measuring stick.
We use it like what it is: a tool. A hammer, not a temple. A flashlight, not the sun. Logic is helpful within a context. Itâs fantastic for building bridges, writing code, or diagnosing illnesses. But it breaks down when used on the unquantifiable, the infinite, the beyond-the-body.
Hereâs how we survive without losing our minds:
Stay skeptical of your own thoughts. If it âmakes sense,â ask: to whom? Why? Is that logicâor is it just comfort?
Let mystery exist. You donât need to solve every riddle. Some truths arenât puzzlesâtheyâre paintings.
Defer to the unknown. Accept that your brain is not the final word. Sometimes silence is smarter than syllogisms.
Interrogate the framework. When you say âthis doesnât make sense,â maybe the problem isnât the ideaâitâs the limits of your logic.
Donât gatekeep reality. Just because you canât wrap your mind around something doesnât mean itâs false. It might just mean youâre not ready.
đ€ Final Thought: Youâre a Dumb Little GodâAnd Thatâs Beautiful.
You are a confused primate running wetware logic on blood and breath. You hallucinate meaning. You invent consistency. You call those inventions âtruth.â
And the universe? The universe just is. It doesnât bend for your brain. It doesnât wait for your approval. It doesnât owe you legibility.
So maybe the wisest thing youâll ever do is this:
Stop pretending youâre built to understand everything. Start living like youâre here to witness the absurdity and be humbled by it.
Now go question everythingâespecially yourself.
đ„ REBLOG if your logic just got kicked in the teeth. đ„ FOLLOW if youâre ready for more digital crowbars to the ego. đ„ COMMENT if your meat-brain is having an existential meltdown right now.
#writing#cartoon#writers on tumblr#horror writing#creepy stories#writing community#writers on instagram#yeah what the fuck#funny post#writers of tumblr#funny stuff#lol#funny memes#biology#funny shit#education#physics#science#memes#humor#jokes#funny#tiktok#instagram#youtube#youtumblr#educate yourself#TheMostHumble#StopMakingSense#NeuralSludgeRants
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Funny Rodydeku idea- so, Rody doesn't necessarily understand Japanese customs or etiquette. He's done some research but still, there's a lot he doesn't know. One of these things being that people in Japan typically refer to each other by their last names, and that referring to someone by their first name is more of an intimate thing. I just don't think he really made that connection lol. Like, Deku, knowing a bit more about other national customs knew that calling someone by their first name was normal, thus why he refers to Rody as Rody (I also see Deku being fluent in English cause I headcanon his dad as american-).
So, Rody doesn't really call Deku by his actual name at all. It's either Deku, Hero, or mass murderer on some occasions (just to piss off Deku tbh). Making that realization, he decided that he should try calling Deku by his actual name, just to see how he would react! So next time they called each other, after a few minutes of talking, Rody drops the "So, Izuku, how has everything with UA been?" You know, super casually, see if he even notices.
Cue a long bout of silence. And suddenly, Rody's wondering if he fucked up. Did he get his name wrong?? Did he pronounce it wrong??
Then, Deku speaks up in a very flustered and sheepish voice, "You...just called me by my first name..." Rody, dumbfounded at this point, replies "Yeah? I don't know- I just realized I only ever refer to you as Deku so I wanted to give it a try."
Another bout of silence, till Deku calms his beating heart and clears his throat.
"Well, uh, Rody...you probably don't know this, but referring to someone by their first name here is...a bit...of a personal thing...like, normally we only call our family or really close friends by their first name. Or you know...in the case that we're in a relationship..."
Rody took a moment to process what Deku was implying, before the embarrassment washed over him. "Y-You don't say!" He sputtered, Pino now hiding his hair and covering her blush with her wings.
"Not that I mind you calling me by my first name, because I do think we're really good friends but it did kind of take me off guard!! You can keep calling me Izuku if you want!!"
"I think I'll stick to Deku, actually, thanks..."
Though Deku was slightly disappointed, he couldn't help but think about for the next few days how nice his own name sounded on Rody's tongue. Meanwhile, Rody wanted to bury himself as always whenever he managed to embarrass himself in front of Deku.
#we all know why deku mentioned the relationship bit#to be honest#i don't think deku would've reacted in such a flustered way if anyone else had called him by his first name#like yeah he'd probably do a double take and sputter a bit but#it was just the fact that rody said it#yeah okay rody's downbad for deku but i feel like we don't talk about it vice versa enough#rodydeku#rody soul#rody#deku#izuku midoriya#mha#my hero academia#bnha
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Thinking about...
All the potential problems you might face dating Reo (i will definitely exploit this)

Warning: Wall of text. This is written poorly, probably repetitive, English is not my native language, not proofread. Just my headcanons and interpretation. Feel free to express your own opinions.
Sure he's smitten and he falls hard, will definitely spoils you and try to become the best boyfriend, also very loyal and a gentleman and all, but I think with his upbringing there are also certain red flags.
Solves problems with money: If you ever get upset or angry and he doesn't exactly know why/what to do, he'll resort to using money, buying you expensive gifts and shits bc that's the only way he knows (money makes people happy in his defense, his parents, for example). Plus, I think splurging money is kind of his comfort zone, like an easy escape for him bc he's dirty rich and his world revolves around materialism.
Involuntarily controlling: Not sure if I phrase this right but in Episode Nagi he admits to have a habit of using people. I think it's because he has a businessman-like mindset (due to his upbringing), he likes and is used to having things go his way, and honestly even if he dislikes his parents he definitely takes after them a lot (greedy and controlling) even though he doesn't want/like to. But all in all, I believe he'll try to keep the relationship under control (subconsciously) and will either spiral or throw a tantrum when things get out of hands.
Doesn't do well with changes: I'm sure this is similar to the previous point and you've probably seen int in the manga as well but he'll definitely get emotional and react strongly when his partner changes, maybe not really change but just do something that's out of his calculations and expectations. He gets emotionally attached and while he'll do anything for you he'll definitely start an argument when his emotions overwhelm his mind (again cue the Nagireo breakup and all of Reo's inner thoughts in epiNagi)
Intelligent but not that emotionally intelligent (not sure how to explain it but iykyk)
Will probably spiral and overthink after every argument: I think that Reo is rather well aware of his flaws, and he also has a standard for himself (probably projected by others), which will backfire when he's emotional. So, if things go wrong/out of his control -> his fault for not being enough. If he realizes that he acted like his father (or someone he hates), or if he said something really harsh, he'll probably shut down and wallow in self-deprecation.
Not the best at showing his problems or communicating: I think that similar to thinking that people only like his money, Reo also thinks that people only like him for the golden boy facade. It is implied that he accommodates people around him and rarely show his anger or boredom because it is what expected of him. Therefore, at the beginning of a relationship, he'll try to keep that facade up, avoiding addressing issues and just do his best to be whatever his partner might like to keep them around unless they show that they love him beyond all that.
In conclusion, I believe that Reo'd still be a great boyfriend (certified loverboy who'll do everything for people he cares about), but being in a relationship with him will have problems that might come off as overwhelming and slightly suffocating for some people, even if they're unintentional. That's also why I think he tend to falls for the wrong people and get hurt (my last post), not bc they're exactly "wrong", but relationships are complicated and I know some people run when they face emotional, attachment-related problems like these.
Long story short, I still love Reo and his character so much bc he's not just a perfect golden boy and I relate to him (or maybe I just like ppl with attachment problems). He just need lots of love and assurance. â„ïž
#mikage reo x reader#mikage reo#reo mikage#reo mikage x reader#blue lock x y/n#blue lock x reader#blue lock#bllk#blue lock reo#bllk reo#mikage reo x you#blue lock headcanons#blue lock fanfiction#i am probably high writing this#i love him either way
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March 2025 CPNs round-up â€ïžđđ

âą a compilation post i translated of assorted fake stories from the past
âą same calloused hands lol
âą xz vacation pics on ig seem to cue mermaid/intercross
âą the fact that wyb was supposed to fly out friday night 3/7 but no one saw him. we only got a clue from a stylist. which made us all think that if he doesnât want to be seen he wonât be. so it kinda gives some weight to all our speculation that he goes to some places when he wants to â specifically, when he wants to be with xz and vice versa. i think even his flight details were not leaked. good for him. i really love how he goes out of his way to be private and at the same time not cause commotion at the airport. i know usually brands encourage this for exposure, but iâm glad that wyb said no. now that i think about it, something similar happened to xz. no more crowds and mob at the airport. i love how they are aligned with how they approach their status & influence. always making sure to not cause some disturbance.
âą lacoste pfw clowning đ - mostly about their same hair and photo composition from their studios & other coincidences
âą loewe clowning - mushrooms and carrots! đđđ
lemme just add here that i donât understand the fixation with the carrots. itâs even on the caption, both yibo-official and over at instagram. i canât help but think that it has something to do with our bunny xiao.

i think if itâs relevant, we will see it again đ there are other vegetables there, so why fixate on it? and the fact that they bought the carrots. fans saw it on oliverjuneâs post, he had a shopping cart and you can see the baguette and the carrots among other things.
also look at them with their leica đž

there is also some conversation about the theme they got going on for their photos. even if they both wear shades and some photography/editing choices are similar ( take note yiboâs is by oliverjune-warmstudio ) â the overall feel is different. yibo was leaning more towards the cactus, vegetable and greens. while gg was more of the colors and roses. i think it totally represents their personalities.

not to go into the whole âgg is the girlâ mindset. not at all. itâs just their personality and their preference. it is what they are drawn too. we love to it! tho they have a lot of similarities, you can still their individuality.
âą matching tulips đ· - this is a lot to handle. they are so loud. đŁïžđŁïžđŁïžđŁïž why? why? why tulips and that close? you would think yibo will avoid it cause he knows he will be accused of copying gg or whatever but he still did it.
WORLD DOMINATION FOR OUR BOYS đđđŒ

âą YIBO GOING TO SPAIN after his PFW excursion. Take note, XZ also went to spain after MFW. Lol. they went to the same place! I wish they could go together someday đ this is up for debate cause some say itâs just an IP linked to Loewe weibo.
âą 3/14/2025 candies! a puppy with his bone necklace and all the red, green and yellow
âą there was a video that was never seen before of xz explaining some paintings and it includes van goghâs sunflowers. people are saying it appears to be 2019 xz during OOL time. and some are saying it aligns with the whole yibo visiting the national portrait gallery to look at the same painting during this time.
âą WX shirt logo
âą some xzs vlog in europe episode 1 candies
âą 3/21 tarot card reading
âą a cute snowman in yiboâs glacier documentary looks similar to something xz made
âą iâll just add this here cause i briefly reacted to it on my blog then deleted cause i didnât want that energy on main. so basically, a âpaparazziâ who does blind item comics posted one that said there was an A list star in his 30s that was in a relationship with his female manager. Netizens guessed XZ. and shrimps were putting the blame on WYB who was not even in his 30s. lol. then the clarification account related to XZS posted that itâs not true and that XZ is single.
this has always been an anti rhetoric, that XZ is dating his manager. i guess, even if it was male, there will still be a relationship rumor. itâs a common rumor to pass around. as a cpf, i just roll my eyes at that. i know itâs easy to question things cause antis really do make a convincing argument with their bullshit âcluesâ but if you are a rational human being you will know better.
âą oranges!!!!! xzâs is a ralph lauren ad released 0323 and boboâs is jeanswest 0324 đđđ


âą yibo official leaves a cpf flag and then edits it
i guess it depends on who is looking and what they want people to see. because spotted in evisuâs short film docu, you can see a cpfâs bjyx phone case đ

âą a zhanbi-bobo umbrella during the race lol
and thatâs it! i try my best to pack in as much as i can â with candies that are largely talked about and makes sense. anything can be âcpnâ if you clown hard enough so i only include what i personally see as significant ones. đ see you next month!
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#yizhan#bjyx#there is no science here iâm just clowning like i always do#I CANT BELIEVE WE ARE DONE WITH Q1 đđŒđđŒđđŒ
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Misjudged
Pairing:Â Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Word Count:Â ~2.2k
Warnings: angst, car accident, getting hurt by car accident, almost dying, minor fluff at the end
Summary: A confrontation at a party sends you racing back home in anger. Dean follows behind you and watches the unthinkable happen. Now itâs up to him to save you.
Square Filled:Â enemies to lovers (2021) for @spndeanbingo
Authorâs Note:Â any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3
x
Normally, you love a good party. You love getting loose and forgetting what a shitty week youâve had, but tonight is different. Youâre on a mission and youâre not going to stop until you get what you want. Luna called you twenty minutes ago crying because she wanted to get picked up, and you immediately rushed over at the thought that someone hurt your little sister. Sheâs newly eighteen but she shouldnât have been at this party in the first place. Sheâs too nice and naive for her own good, so you do your best to look out for her.
Too many bodies litter the living room holding homemade drinks and joints, causing the room to stink of stale marijuana.
âLuna!!â
There's no point in yelling when the music is enough to deafen a person, but you still try in hopes sheâs close enough to hear you. Once you get past the mosh pit, the room becomes more open with fewer people. On the other side of the room is one person who makes your blood boil in rage.
Dean Winchester.
Of course, heâd be here. Suddenly, the thought of Dean making your sister cry is the only thing you can think about so you stalk over to him. Heâs playing pool against his friends and winning, but not for long. You swipe your hand over the pool table, messing up the balls and Deanâs shot.
âHey!â Dean whips his head to face the culprit and smirks when he realizes itâs you. âOh, hey, sweetheart. Come to play?â
You bring your open palm back and slap Dean across the face. His friends go still with shock, and Dean moves his jaw back and forth as he processes what just happened.
âHow dare you bring Luna here after I told you not to!â
Dean sets his pool cue on the table but otherwise doesnât react to you slapping him.
âHow do you know it was me who brought her here?â
âYouâre our neighbor, Dean. She heard you talking about the party and you offered to bring her here.â
âShe wanted to come here, Y/N. I was already on my way when she asked me to drive her. I didnât see the big deal.â
âThe big deal is that this party is full of drugs and alcohol and men with granny hands.â
âLast I checked, sheâs eighteen. She can think for herself.â
âLast I checked, sheâs my family, not yours. Stay out of my goddamn life and out of my business. You donât see me going to your house and bringing Sam here.â
Dean tips his head back and laughs. âGood luck trying to get Sam over here. This isnât really his scene.â
âI donât care. Donât ever go near Luna again.â
âDamn, man, you need to have a drink. Unwind,â one of Deanâs friends comments.Â
You lunge toward his friend but Dean wraps his arms around your waist to prevent you from attacking. For a split second, you like having his arms around you. They feel strong and safe but then reality sets in and you push Dean off you.
âLet go of me. Where is Luna?â
âI donât know. It's a big party.â Dean sees the glare on your face and fights back a smirk. âRelax. I saw her on the phone with you so I told Cas to give her a ride home.â
âOh. Good.â
Castiel is a good guy so youâre relaxed at the thought of Luna being in his care. Itâs the only part of Dean you tolerate. Castiel keeps him in check. With that, you turn on your heels and start to head toward the front door. Dean abandons his pool game to chase after you.
âWhy donât you stay?â
âOver my dead fucking body.â
You push through the crowd and leave out the front door. The ground crunches underneath your feet from how crispy the ice makes the grass. You press the button on your car which makes it unlock, and you sigh when you hear Dean still chasing after you.
âWait, Y/N!â
âLeave me alone, Dean. Go away.â
âI donât get why you hate me so much. What did I ever do to you?â
You spin on your heels to face him and he stops right before he collides with you.
âHate you? No, I donât hate you. You piss me the fuck off. Do you really think you can flash that smile of yours and call me sweetheart, and Iâll forget what an arrogant bastard you are? Not going to happen.â You open your car door. âNow, if youâll excuse me, Iâm going home.â
âWait. Let me drive you. Itâs icy out there.â
âThatâs nice of you to care, but I donât need you, Dean.â
You get into your car and turn it on. Dean curses when you back out of the crowded driveway and start to drive away. What kind of friend man would he be if he let you drive off into the icy night?
Dean curses when he sees your tail lights disappearing around the corner, and he runs over to his shiny black Impala that he often catches you checking out. Wherever he goes, itâs a chick magnet but he only wants one chick in there.
You.
He leaves the party and follows you down the road, stepping on the pedal to keep up with you. He wouldnât forgive himself if something happened while driving home, and he didnât know about it.
Yes, the roads are icy and itâs dark in these mountains and your headlights donât really work well, but youâre doing fine. There isnât any ice that you can see so as long as you continue at the speed youâre at, you should get home safely.
Key word: should.
Your phone rings but instead of taking your eyes off the road to answer it, you blindly swipe the screen until the call connects. Before you can say anything, Deanâs deep voice comes through the phone.
âSlow the fuck down, Y/N.â
You look in the rearview mirror and see the sleek headlights belonging to the Impala right behind you. For some reason, youâre in a mischievous mood that wants to piss him off.Â
âYou want me to slow down?â
Instead of doing what he wants, you press down the gas pedal.
âY/Nââ
âI know how to drive, Dean. Iâve been doing it since I was sixteen.â
âYouâre going to fucking crash. Slow down.â
âBite me,â you growl and hang up on him.
Just to piss him off, you go faster on the slippery mountain roads. Youâre not going to admit this to Dean, but youâre kind of scared. With going downhill, youâre finding it harder to slow down. Your brakes work but the ice on the roads makes it hard for your tires to grip anything. Dean would only rub it in your face that he was right and you donât want to hear it.
Youâve driven these roads all your life in worse conditions, but thereâs something about this night that makes it more dangerous. The news has been warning residents of black ice on the roads, more so in the mountains than anywhere else.
Dean keeps a steady distance behind you which is a comfort because if something happens to you, at least youâll be found. You press on the brakes only slightly but that causes your tires to swerve, and you grip the steering wheel with a deathly grip.
The deadliest part of black ice is that you donât know youâve hit it until itâs too late, and itâs too late for you. Your car starts skidding on the icy roads, and you try your best to get out of it by turning your wheel toward the direction the car is going in. That doesnât seem to help, and your eyes widen when your headlights catch something.
A tree. Youâre not wearing your seatbelt.
In the blink of a second, the front of your car smashes into the thick tree trunk, causing it to spin out of control. The side of your head smacks against the hard ridge of the window, and you lose your grip on the steering wheel as the car skids closer and closer to the cliffâs edge. You press down on the brake as hard as you can but that doesnât seem to help.
Either youâre going to die by falling off the cliff or by plunging into the icy waters below. Your car comes to a stop right before you fall off the cliffâs edge, but the front half of the car is teetering over the edge. One false move and you're going to go over. Youâre still-shocked and gripping the steering wheel with a deathly grip, afraid to let go. Tears roll down your cheek that mix with the blood coming from your forehead. Silence and then you hear his voice.
âY/N?â
âDean?â you cry.
âIâm right here, sweetheart.â
âIâm so scared,â you whimper.
âIâm right here. Iâm not going to let you fall.â The back window was shattered when it hit the tree, so he is able to climb inside if he wanted to. âCan you get your seatbelt off?â
âIâm not wearing one.â
âFuck. Okay, when I get you out, weâre going to have a serious conversation about proper car etiquette.â
The car starts to spin but Dean doesnât say anything about it which makes you realize itâs your vision thatâs spinning. Your head throbs in pain and black spots enter your vision.
âDean, I hit my head. It hurts.â
âI know, sweetheart. I need you to stay awake for me, okay? Can you turn around?â With slow movements, you look back at Dean. He doesnât shine the flashlight directly on your face but he can see the river of blood on your face. Heâs fucking scared but if he starts to show it, youâll start to panic. âIâm right here.â
Dean removes his jacket and lays it over the edge of the window where it broke to prevent glass from sticking to his skin. He keeps one leg on the ground and puts his other leg inside the car to get closer to you. He leans in as far as he can and stretches his hand out to you.
âGrab my hand and Iâll pull you out.â
âWhat if I fall over?â
âI wonât let that happen.â
Tears spring to your eyes at the thought of never seeing your family again. âPlease tell my mom I love her. Tell Luna that too. Tell her Iâm sorry.â
âY/N, youâre going to be fine. Just grab my hand.â
âIâm scared,â you cry.
âI know you are but I need you to be brave right now, okay?â You nod shakily. âI canât go any further so youâre going to have to climb over the seat. No sudden movements.â
You slowly rise and put both feet on the clothed seat. You grab the back of the seat and turn to Dean who is patient and calm. You know heâs freaking out so you appreciate him keeping a calm head. You sling your leg through the small gap over the center console and the car starts to sway lightly. You halt your movements and calm down when the car doesnât fall over the edge.
You slowly lift your other leg over the center console but you step on one of your dogsâ toys that squeaks. Your foot slips and you slam into the back of the driverâs seat. The car immediately tips over and you jump to grab Deanâs hand. He pulls you out of the car just as it falls over the edge. You gasp and clutch onto his hand with a death grip because not only did the car go over the edge, but you did as well.
Dean is the only thing keeping you from certain death.
Dean uses his God-given strength and pulls you up from the edge and onto the safety of solid ground. You fall into his arms and cry, the adrenaline already starting to wear off.
âYouâre okay,â Dean mutters. He strokes your hair to not only calm you but to calm himself. âYouâre okay.â You pull away from him and he finally can see the damage done to your head. âYouâre bleeding.â
âYou saved me.â
He tucks a strand of bloody hair behind your ear. âIâll always save you.â
You look down at his lips. Maybe itâs because of what just happened or maybe itâs because your emotions are all out of wack but youâre seeing Dean in a new light. As much as he wants to kiss you, you have more pressing matters.
âIâm not a doctor and you need to get that checked out. Come on.â He helps you to your feet and wraps a strong arm around you. âIâll call your parents from the car.â
What would you have done if Dean didnât follow you? How long would you have been out here for? Would you have died? He could have let you go off that cliff but he didnât. Maybe youâve misjudged him. Maybe, just maybe, heâs not as bad as you make him out to be.
x
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#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fanfic#dean winchester fic#dean winchester fluff#dean winchester angst#dean winchester smut#supernatural#supernatural fic#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural fanfic#supernatural fluff#supernatural angst
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Hi
This is my first time requesting here, and I humbly come to you with a request for some headcanons. Hear me out: The first year squad finding a doodle of them with little hearts around it in the reader's notebook
SUMMARY: The first year squad find a doodle of them with hearts around it in your notebook! How do they react?
WARNINGS: None that I am aware of!
COMMENTS: THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE THIS PROMPT!! I hope you like this!! Sorry if any of these are out of character, I havenât written half of these characters before haha. Enjoy!

Aceâs reaction would depend on whoeverâs around him.
If you were there, for example, heâd desperately hope you donât notice how red his ears are or how his voice trembles slightly as he teases you. If you love him so bad, why not just confess already? Seriously, Prefect. Youâre so shy itâs almost cute. Please ignore how hard heâs blushing.
If he was on his own, however, it would be a different story. Being left with your sketchbook on his own, heâd decide to flick through it. Seeing your cute little drawings is like an arrow straight to his heart. Heâll need a minute or two in private to recover. Does this mean you like him too?? Wait, âtooâ? He doesnât have a crush on you⊠does he??

Instant K.O, no matter the circumstances. Wow, he never realised how good at drawing you were! And⊠you drew him?? Deuce isnât self conscious, but he knows heâs not the most attractive guy around. And yet you wanted to draw him? AND put all those hearts around it?? This will not leave his head for the next 7 years.
He hopes youâll forgive him, but heâs definitely gonna take a photo. He has to show his mother immediately! Heâll spend the next 2-3 weeks rambling to her at any given opportunity about anything about you. His mother will begin teasing him lightly about when heâs gonna marry you, and oh no, he didnât realise he liked you that much. Does he??

At first, you thought he was uncomfortable. Then, you see the signs. His ears twitch and his tail start wagging, as he makes some excuse and leaves the scene. He doesnât mean to offend you, but the way you were looking at him, and the drawingâ a guyâs heart can only take so much!
He definitely starts to pay more attention to you from then on. Not that he was ignoring you beforehand! But from now on, you start noticing little things he does for you - carrying your bags for you, mostly, along with quietly leaving cactus flowers on your desk. He doesnât say itâs him, but who else do you know who grows cacti?

Huh?! Thatâs supposed to be himâ?! Ah, wait, he didnât mean it like that! Your drawing is good, really, he just wasnât expecting it! As someone who has issues with his appearance, his reaction will definitely depend on how you draw him. But no matter how you draw him, one thing wonât change:
He is definitely flustered.
I mean, you drew him with hearts for goodnessâ sake. Hearts! What else could that mean?
Over the next week or two, Vil and Rook are charmed and delighted when a contrite Epel mumblesâ
âHow do I ask someone out?â

You are going to go deaf.
The moment Sebek sees those drawings, heâs going to yell in shock. Why in Twisted Wonderland would you draw him like that?? Heâs confiscating that notebook. No, itâs not so he can keep the picture! Itâs so you learn not to draw people in such an incredibly silly manner! Stop asking him if he wants you to draw him more often!
(Although the answer to that would be yes, but heâd never admit it.)
He shortly learns that taking the book back to Diasomnia was a mistake. Lilia immediately steals it, and, upon seeing the pictures of Sebek, immediately shows Malleus and Silver, much to Sebekâs embarrassment. Cue endless questions about when heâs going to ask you out.
â„Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!â„
#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst fanfic#twst#Rheaâs TWST Fics~!#Ace Trappola#ace trappola x reader#Deuce Spade#deuce spade x reader#Jack Howl#Jack Howl x reader#epel felmier#Epel Felmier x reader#Sebek Zigvolt#Sebek Zigvolt x reader
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A "Sickly" Feeling
Lucifer x Fem!Reader
â ïžCONTENT WARNING: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACTâ ïž
Tags: sex toys, face sitting, oral, masturbation
Word Count:
Summary:
You can surely say it was just another typical day at RAD. It just so happens today you were appear to feel a little âsickâ and struggled to focus a lot more than usual thanks to the demands of a certain demon of pride.
[âšLikes, Comments & Reblogs are supper appreciated!âš]
Extending some apologies in advance for any errors, im kinda loopy rn so I might edit this again in the future.
ONCE AGAIN, ONLY 18+ YEARS OLD ARE ALLOWED TO READ BEYOND THE CUT. PLEASE DON'T READ FURTHER IF YOU ARE NOT OF AGE.
Your eyes look around wearily at all the classmates that you are seated with, including the seven demon brothers who shared every class with you. As a lucky result of sharing the same class schedules with them, youâat leastâ feel a bit of relief in knowing that the they wouldn't hear you as much if you did or say anything.
Much more so, you were grateful that the professor had yet to enter the class. In fact, everyone took this as an opportunity to be as rowdy as they could be. Papers are being tossed around, some people are drawing, others were sleeping, snacking, or using their DDDs to pass the time.
VrrrrâŠ.
You, on the other hand, were passing time with much thanks to the little âaccessoryâ Lucifer asked you to wear as you made your way into the 4th period. In fact, it graced you with immense disorientation during your classes, break periods, and even, way before you ever arrived on RAD grounds.
He had you test it out first thing after waking up together, giving you both an energetic start in the hours to come. You knew for a fact that Lucifer was bound to play with it somehow, maybe out of boredom while doing some paperwork. You can only assume heâs delighted by the idea of being able to control your bodyâs reactions with a vibrator he had custom made to hit your pleasure spots just right, from inside you and your clitoris. Simultaneously, the idea of reacting in public, and in front of Lucifer no less, made the heat and embarrassment in you rise.
At the very least, the vibrations were quite mildâprobably on itâs lowest settingâ allowing you to tolerate the tickling feeling without appearing too enthused about what's happening underneath you. Secretly hoping that there would be more ârisqueâ, you wondered if that was it for the rest of the day, a simple device to keep you awake in class.
That is until you receive a notification ping.
Taking out your phone you silently read the message. Seeing Luciferâs ID pop onto the screen causes you to shift your legs slightly just o fight the tingling feeling between your legs:
âHas the excitement dulled for you, my love? Donât worry Iâll make sure youâll keep entertained.â
You intended to send a question mark to showcase your curiosity, but it seemed no longer necessary upon hearing a set of footsteps gradually overpowering the ruckus of the entire room. You let out a breath as your heart began to thump.
âThe professor has urgently expressed a need to take the week off and tend to some personal issues. But given the extremely sudden nature of his request, we were short on time to address the situation. Which is why, just for today, I'll be holding this week's discussionâ
You eyes are fixated on his phone, which emits the private conversation between you twoâ a sight as easy to miss as his thumb pressing âsendâ before swiping away into a different app completely.
The message you receive comes in silently, and you read:
âUnder no circumstances are you to cum during my class. You are not to excuse yourself either.â
Almost as if on cue, you felt the intensity spike, the height of it almost making you jump. Thankfully, you were able to play off the feeling as it turns back to normal. In a now quiet classroom, it was only you who could hear the extremely faint purring of the vibrator. You greatly hoped that no one had a special gift of super hearing.
You made sure to make eye contact with Lucifer as you quirked an eyebrow tauntingly. Part of you did it feeling intrigued that he now chose to raise the stakes. Despite your poker face, you feel a pleasant chill running down your spine. It didnât help your indecent thoughts to take one last look at the message with his voice in mind.
With the help of muscle memory, you pull out your notebook and pen to do the usual routine of taking down notes in class, but your mind and eyes drift towards Luciferâs broad back as he takes his time to write a list of topics he intended to discuss today. While doing so, your mind switches up. As exhilarating it is, to say the least, you wondered how Lucifer can enjoy a scenario like this unfolding if he himself can't see your reactions.
You shake off these thoughts once again and decide it might ease your feelings to sway your legs slowly. It wasnât unusual for you to want to get your legs moving during lectures, after all. It was one way of keeping the legs awake and active, with a new additional benefit of masking your own indulgence.
But much to your dismay, your eyes dart upward to see Lucifer's eyes almost immediately looking at yours with a well-hidden scheme running through his mind, something only you knew and were not ready for.
âLet's start, shall we?â
You feel the intensity increase, and with it, your muscles begin to tense to accommodate the feeling.
You suddenly stop moving your legs, deciding it might be better to stay in place, squeezing them as tightly as you could to stop the feeling of your wetness pooling out of your underwear.
Part of you wanted him to look at you, slightly annoyed that youâre probably visibly struggling to fight having an orgasm in class and he canât even see it. Lucifer could delight in this all he wants but you of all people knew damn well heâd rather see it live, front and center.
Thoughts race back and fourth, all of which you try pushing down, trying to regain focus and rationality.
You begin to wonder if it was ideal to secretly try to remove the vibrator, luckily you were in one of RADâs lecture halls, a bit different from the usual classroom given that you were a relatively larger class. You look around, only seeing Asmodeus faced away from you and the actual board and staring at a compact mirror he hid behind his pencil case so Lucifer wouldnât confiscate it. The others around you were too focused on the lecture to notice, perhaps they feared for their life to do anything other than focus⊠well⊠save for the brothers of course. But even they were merely minding their own business and letting the lecture pass through their ears as if it were nothing.
Taking a chance, you place your bag on your lap to make it seem as if you were trying to get something. But as your hand reaches your crotch, the vibrator shakes your insides more vigorously. You inhale sharply as it continues to jolt inside of you, letting a little grunt escape your mouth as you find your grip against the side of your chair.
The external tip of the vibrator plays with your clit more intensely, you feel yourself turning red from using all your muscles to stifle a moan from coming out.
You wanted to do so many things, cursing loudly, walking up to Lucifer to take him away from class and fuck him inside the first empty room you see, not caring about what anyone in that classroom would have to say. At the same time you also wanted to run away and deal with it yourself without anyone knowing any better about these mischievous circumstances.
Your thoughts all seem to go against each other all the while you continue to hold back the urge to convulse or make any noises during class. Somehow since trying to move it around, you felt your urge to release worsen tenfold. It was as though you needed to go to the bathroom just to relieve yourself both ways.
You wanted to yield, screw this little challenge of his. You were going to go to go find yourself a place to masturbate in, but you were still a bit scared to be questioned by the demons that were inside the classroom with you. Instead of charging forward on impulse, you raised a hand up politely before calling out to him.
The sudden switch Thatâs when a different sensation greets your clit, it was almost similar to being eaten out, with the tip being sucked and soothe by a makeshift tongue.
âLucifer! IâAhâŠ!â You finally let out, but your mind was quick enough to feign a worsening stomach ache. Your lungs heave slightly and your purse your lips tightly
âAre you okay babes? You're not looking too hot over there.â
You realize you were doomed to embarrass yourself the moment Asmodeusâ of all demonsâ leaned over to you and whispered his concern. By the look on his face, he had yet to catch on, and you could only pray that he never would.
This new feeling was made worse with the vibration from inside you shifting, if you were all alone right now, you mightâve drooled at how amazing it felt.
âYeah, Asmo⊠I just felt something sharp in my stomach, but Iâll be fine.â you kept the conversation as concise as possible but another jolt comes in making you dig your nails into your thighs.
âIs there something you and Asmodeus wish to share with the class?â
âN-no.â
You look up to Lucifer, watching as his eyes stare at yours with such intensity. Surely not out of frustration but something else. You continue to eye his back while he continues writing and babbling about the lesson at hand. It seems that the clacking of chalk against the board was more aggressive than usual, but it could simply be your imagination.
âAre you sure youâre alright, that sounded like it hurt.â
A hint of luck must have surely graced your day, you thought to yourself. Asmodeus seemed none the wiser of your circumstance despite being of great approximation with you.
âNo⊠no⊠I'm fine, I just need to listen in on this lectureâŠâ
You lean against the table to steady yourself and avoid showing any struggle. But it seems too late because you raised Asmoâs attention.
âLucifer! MC really needs to go to the clinic.â Asmo calls out with his own hand raised.
Lucifer turns around and gives you another stare for a single moment, and you feel as the quiet increase of pleasure comes in, it was Lucifer trying to see if you'd react any different amidst this tense moment. Even as he goes over to you, he is almost clearly unphased.
A quick idea comes into mind and you follow along Asmoâs concerns. A moan comes out of your mouth, one that sounds as painful as possible, and hopefully, not obviously fake.
âFine, yes, my stomach is hurting. I think I need help from the nurse over at the clinic.â You made sure to just so that the act sells while the vibrator eggs on a bit more of your moaning. You clutch the skin of your lower stomach, playing with the vibrator a bit to keep yourself going. You maintain eye contact with him, giving your best doe-like gaze.
You watch the muscles of his eyelids shift, causing you to form a mental smile in victory. But to clearly, avoid suspicion, he raises an eyebrow and shifts to showing âconcern.â
âYou do seem pale, MC. Take the hall pass and drop by the nurse's office.â
The prideful gaze you see as you make eye contact was something you knew too well.
Asmodeus squeezes your hand out of worry. Ironically, the idea that you were sick seemed to sell well to the avatar of lust.
You feel all eyes within the class follow you from the moment you stood up until the moment you disappeared behind the doorframe. Admittedly, your steps were a bit awkward due to the vibrators intensity, so you made sure to be in and out and avoid making eye contact with anyone, especially Lucifer, else everyone starts picking up whatâs going on.
With legs nearly transformed into jelly out of numbness, you couldn't be bothered with the way you looked walking hurriedly down the hall to the nurse's room. You simply knew you had to lock the doors with a strong spell and find your climax once more.
You rush to the next bed you find, closing the curtains to have a hint of privacy. The vibrations came off stronger as you drop your pants and underwear to the floor. You don't think about the droplets you've made as you strip.
Spreading your legs, you try to find a position that elevates the sensation even further.
Gradually louder moans break free from your lips as your chest throbs to the rush, making a gateway for more pleasure that you find yourself helpless to.
Your mind prays that things would go quickly, not wanting to spend another second in the clinic doing such bold actions.
With heaving breaths, your stomach feels as though it's finally about to grab hold of the orgasm your mind was desperately seeking for. But before it could reach it, you were alarmed by your sixth sense, telling you that the spell you had in the lock had. Not even a second later, the door swings open and your almost nirvanic mind descended into panic. You scurried to put on your pants and hide any evidence that you masturbated on a clinical bed, of all things.
You kept yourself alert for the million scenarios that would happen when the nurse shows up. Yet, you find yourself frozen upon seeing the very same person that put you in this awkward position.
You stared up at Lucifer, and he stared down at you, well masking his amusement. But you knew, from the movement of his shoulders that he was trying to remind himself to take a few breaths. His pupils dilate at the sight of you, before trailing away from your figure.
Watching meekly, you see him crouch down to pick something up from the floor. And it is by this audacious action that, in a haste to cover up everything, you'd forgotten to put your underwear on. You sat on the bed silently, blushing furiously at the idea that he caught you in the act.
He feigned a sigh.
âIt seems you don't need treatment, seeing as you've already done that to yourself.â
Clicking his tongue, he waves his underwear tauntingly as he slowly turns around. With your still heated cheeks and steam practically emanating off your head you scoffed, letting a silver of your frustration be known to him you grab his sleeve and use your strength to pull him backwards, even if you knew he was stronger than humans and pulling him would've been pointless. You were surprised your mind was clear enough to even say the words your brain could barely put out:
âTake responsibility for this! I wouldâve finished my own treatment if you hadnât disturbed me.â
Lucifer froze. Then, unlike the composed and chaste man he was to the public, he wasted no time in turning around getting rid of his belt and unbuttoning the cuffs on his shirt the moment the blinds shut and the doors locked. Still a bit dazed and dumbfounded, you simply stare at his bare chest after watching him toss away the fabric.
It dawns on you quickly, that he intends to have his way with you on RAD premises as per your order. You turn redder at the thought, but itâs not as if you werenât guilty for planning to nip this feeling in the bud on your own moments ago on the very same nursing bed.
At an unfathomable speed, he then walks up to you and greets you with a kiss so hungry you swear that he intends to swallow you whole right then and there.
You gasp for breath after the long kiss you share momentarily eyeing his lips for a moment before gazing into his wine-like eyes.
âMy mind begs me to torture you more, to stave you away from this âtreatment.â Consider yourself extremely lucky that my desire to serve you is more powerful than my many other urges.â
His hands take in yours, directing them to hold his face with a gentle touch, his entire aura shifting with a simple stroke.
âTell me what it is that you need, I will give you everything I have.â
His fingers slide nuzzles himself into your hands kissing and licking your now sensitive skin until he reaches the side of your neck. He flipped your positions and huffed, you were now on top of him, very unsure of what he was planning.
He smirks slightly, almost as if he was invited to an eager challenge. âI knew you would sulk after our little game. After all, I left my poor darling soaking wet during my lecture.â
You haven't noticed his hands creeping towards you behind, some of his fingers reached down to your heat. You mouth gapes open slightly feeling the callouses on his fingers run across the opening, covering itself slightly in your wetness before moving over to your now achingly sensitive bud.
His eyes never leave your face, not wanting to miss your eyebrows furrowing as they found their way to your wetness.
The words he spoke earlier came into your mind, and with confidence, you stop his hand from trying to tease you.
âI don't want your fingers, I want your tongue.â you didn't expect to sound sultry as you spoke, yet your voice let out your neediness in such an effortlessly seductive manner. Your eyes had a fire in them that stirred his mind. You watched his eyes shift from surprise to his all-too-familiar cool expression within milliseconds.
âHmph⊠don't let me do all the work now. Come towards my mouth.â
âI was just thinking that.â He responded while pushing you lightly upward.
A bit awkwardly you waddled to where his head was, positioning yourself so that you faced the wall and hovered over his face. Immediately, like an alcoholic eagerly uncorking an expensive bottle of wine to quench his thirst, Lucifer removes the vibrator, causing some of your wetness to drip onto his face, but he pays no mind. He licks clean he residue from the small machine right before closing off whatever distance was left to position your vagina right against his lips.
The speed almost caused you to lose balance, but you were lucky to catch yourself and press your hands against the wall for balance. The hinges of the bed creaked loudly at the sudden movement and you immediately felt the need to pray that your misdeeds wouldn't cause damage to the poor bed, otherwise it would be hard to describe the incident to Diavolo.
Your hands find themselves entangled between his hair strands as he licks the juices that have been stopped by the vibrator. The feeling tingles, reminding you of how sensitive you've been the whole time you were trying to get off. You push him down further, gripping his hair tighter â perhaps out of pleasure and a hint of pettiness.
The one arm which you had prompted up on the wall began to sink, wanting to grab hold of somethingâŠ. Anything they you were physically able to with how aggressive Lucifer's tongue was becoming.
Your legs were shaking, knees growing weaker with each moment he entangles his tongue with your clit. Your stomach clenches, preparing for release, oh the feeling never ceases to drive you mad.
He read your mind, he knew you well. With Lucifer you could never hide a secret for too long, and so the secrets of your body is something that became a privilege for him and him alone. Almost in sync with your body language, he reaches for your hand, entwining his fingers with yours and letting you hold onto him tightly.
âAre you enjoying yourself, my love?â he said flicking his tongue playfully against you sweet spot. You only grunt in response, rocking your hips against his mouth to try shutting him up.
The act doesn't go unnoticed, he takes the hint and allows his lips to linger against your clit with a harshness your heart could not take. Your toes curl as orgasm reels itself closer and closer.
âLucifer!â You let out, any other words you wished to say beforehand got caught , your whole back attempts to bear the feeling as it arches upward. It takes a lot of strength in you to avoid sinking into the wall or clumsily bumping against the metal bedframe, but thankfully you are able to do so and slide down by his thighs. You are now well aware of the heat he emanates and the beads of sweat which have formed
As your senses return to you, you shake off Luciferâs hands
You squeezed him a few times as you rubbed him teasingly
âIf I had a toy on me Iâd manage to get back at you right now.â
It was now his turn to let out a groan, âShould I consider myself to be lucky, then?â
âAt my mercy even.â You lift his chin to kiss him tenderly, with your eyes closed you do not notice his eyebrows shift as you align your thumb right at the tip.
ââŠAt your mercy even.â He repeats in a conceded whisper so gentle, you felt that his words could caress you. Steadying yourself, you place your hands, now, behind his neck you lean in to kiss him further as you guide his shaft inside of you. His size never fails to outstand you, filling you deep enough that the moans that emerge as your lips play with his almost seems sensationalized.
You sway your hips in a rhythmic manner, thought quite awkward at first, you pick up a pace that felt comfortable.
âDon't move,â you order him, dragging your lips away to bite down on the crook of his neck. He growls in response to the gesture, yet his hands were on your hips making sure you were steady as you bounced. His own brain filled with all sorts of devious thoughts as your warmth and scent continues to envelop him repeatedly.
Mischievously disobeying, his hands explore your body, labouring to deliver you both the pleasures you loved so much. His eyes fall shut trying to focus on his own emotions, his own thoughts. But he can't think of anything, only your lips on his neck, your skin colliding against his, and this heated moment. He could never focus under these circumstances. Why would he anyway? All he wants is you, and your thoughts were just the same.
Your hands drop down, in an attempt to try and pry his hands away from touching you. The creaking of the bed begins to slowly drown out as needy moans and kisses take over.
âDonât turn down my touches, darling. I am simply asking my master to give more opportunities to worship her.â
You shake your head, responding with an unspoken ânoâ and failing to hide a smile.
âYouâll give me everything you have, right now?â
ââŠAnything you desire.â
Lucifer smiles leaning down to kiss you. It was a lot sweeter than you expectedâ and of courseâ when you are in love, a couple is bound to have those moments.
You look down at his cock, it which stood out and twitched, as if it had a life of its own. Your own private area reacted, as if longing to feel the way he would fuck you once more.
âI want you, switch with me.â He does instantly without any hesitation. You swiftly find your head laying by the edge of the bed and your legs, which he wrapped around his waist.
He inserts himself into you without much effort, it was too smooth to your liking, but it didn't matter. His thrust were gentle but his pants were heavy. He was holding back for your sake, but today you needed more than that.
Remembering your failed attempts to enact your secret revenge against him, you pettily grip his ass, feeling the almost moldable softness of his skin as he plows into you desperately.
âThrust it harder, Lucifer.â
At this point steam was emitting from both of your colliding bodies, you try your best not to sound like you were begging as you gripped his behind, not caring whether they'd leave scratches by the end of the day.
Obeying you well, he repositions the both of you so he could slam farther into you, the sound of skin clapping becomes more intense at an instant. You continue to pray that the bed you were both using had enough strength to hold both of you up with how aggressive you both were becoming. Deep thrusts accompanied by harsh marks that are sure to bruise for the next days to come, lust-filled gazes, and heaving breaths that cause the room to become hotter and hotterâ it was practically animalistic the way you two desired each other.
âAm I to you satisfaction, my love? My cock? My voice? âŠMy fingers?â
Unable to keep his hands in one place, his fingers find their way back to your bud as if it were magnetized to the delectable moans you couldnât hold back anymore.
âDo you perhaps need help stifling those moans from how excited you feel?â
You donât give a coherent response. You simply keep a hand by the back of his neck, keeping his upper body in place while the other continues to grope him, holding on to feel the movement of his lower body.
âHow nice of you to offer, my love.â You shove your tongue into his mouth, it never fails to amaze you how insane his way of pleasuring you was.
It was then that you felt him twitching inside of you, signaling his climax nearing you try to push his fingers away from playing with your clit, but it was as if they would latch onto them further if you did.
âLucifer please, I want to cum with you!â Your voice was whiny this time around, making you lose face completely.
âDonât worry, darling. You will.â
As he spoke, a climax arrives against your will. You felt a bit shy to sound like a lost puppy at this very moment. For Lucifer, you reaction to unexpected feelings was worth getting off to. It was beautiful in and of itself.
You swear you can hear his grunts become more and more monstrous. But rather than slowing down or stopping, his fingers didnât let up even after you came. Tears begin to form in your eyes and your nails claw at his back in hopes of keeping your mind in tact. You were blushing crazily as your brain tries to pick up every single feeling that your senses received, you can only focus on his body warmth and how slick his skin was with sweat.
âDo it again, MC. I want to see the faces you tried so hard to hide in my class. Properly this time.â
Jumbled words leave your mouth in response, for a moment you couldnât help but think it was unfair how articulate he seemed to be no matter how disheveled he appeared.
He was close. You could tell he was the moment your eyes land on his which had gradually become wilder and wilder the longer you two went. Now, they were glowing with passion as his thrusts move in a near inhumane speed.
You shared grunts and pants pick up with the pace, you could feel yourself grow dizzy with euphoria as he continues to fiddle his fingers against your practically pitiful clit. In a flash, three of the deepest thrusts he could muster have caused him to release inside you.
He lets out a moan louder than either of you could anticipate, but at this point you forgot to even watch out for anyone or anything that could break you apart from your shared peak.
You cup a weakened hand against his cheek, silently asking Lucifer to keep his eyes on yours before you both smile and shake your heads. Just what kind of mischief were you both getting into?
Luciferâs eyes and fingers trace the curves of your body for the last time, as if looking at a sculpted masterpiece. His mouth was open, almost as if he was awestruck. It wasnât long before he spoke up once more:
âI quite enjoyed the show you put on for me earlier in class. If it were up to me you you'd get bonus points in your grade.â
You huffed and pulled away from his gaze, even though you were exhausted, it was always fun to play with him. âYou barely looked at my direction being way too focused on the blackboard to notice.â
Lucifer holds a finger to you chin, redirecting your gaze to where it once was, his passion-lit eyes.
âOh don't worry, I saw everything. In fact, it's quite cute how you tried to hide your discomfort⊠or⊠well⊠your delight, you look so tormented.â
Your surprise was genuine and you could only stammer questionably and blush on how Lucifer had actually seen everything, only assuming his imagination was taking helm at the time.
âThe board is enchanted to act as a mirror for all RAD teachers and substitutes to prevent misconduct and cheating.â
You quickly compose yourself your fingers pushing lightly against his chest while pouting.
âYouâ! You're dirty for using school property for inappropriate matters.â you smile and don't fight to hide your blushing.
âIt seems you and I are alike that way.â He gives you a peck on the lips, which you responded to by giving a deeper kiss. Your hand squeezes the inside of Lucifer's thigh, dangerously near his cock which was still relatively sensitive from orgasm yet standing in anticipation for whatever comes next. Cheekily, you decided to squeeze it with just enough pressure to make Luciferâs mouth gape open and inhale sharply.
âI should teach you a proper lesson for making me go through that in class. Consider it an after school lesson from your favorite student.â
Leaning in closer, the corner of your lips curl into a sly smile.
ââŠWhat will it be, Lucifer?â
-------------
Author's Note: I suddenly remembered that Lucifer rigged the chalkboard so he can see what's going on behind him every time he instructs the class so I'm gonna use that as an advantage for him.
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me shall we date#obey me mc#obey me x reader#obey me imagines#lucifer x reader#lucifer x mc#obey me lucifer#lucifer obey me#obey me smut#obey me nb#obey me fanfic#obey me scenarios
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are: Rust and EDC, on rewatching, I noticed that 2012 Rust uses Crashâs wallet chain, and possibly the same style of work boots (trying to trace the brand on these rn lol). I always thought the chain was interesting bc itâs the only super recognizable Crash thing that seems to carry over.
Sorry, anon. I forgot about this and then I didn't forget about this and then I read too much about it and then I concluded that I had nothing to add because you got it all in the ask--it is (apparently) the only visual cue Rust retains from Crash, and it is a Crash cue.
And that will be obvious to some of you--but it was not obvious to me, a person who arguably has "special interest: men" and "special interest: masculine accessories" written down on her character sheet somewhere, probably under a headline that says "penalties to charisma." Why was this not obvious to me? Why did I react with derision, when first faced with Rust looking all hot with his wallet chain on?

I refer you to this Vogue article from 2016, which (inaccurately) states that wallet chains are (were) back and also (inaccurately) states:
Blame the resurgence of the wallet chain on Vetements: For Fall 2016, the label gave the accessory a cheeky mall-goth makeover
To me, the wallet chain has always been a mall goth staple. But that is because my toxic trait is that I truly, truly believe that if I had been born in a slightly earlier time, I would have been so good at being an authentic 90s goth at the club.
(It pains me, it pains me to think of how Crash era Rust could so plausibly be at the (goth) club. Like, Rust wouldn't be, is the problem. But he could have been, so easily, and the overlap between biker scene and leather scene and goth has always been significant.)
(Crash era club setting BDSM fic set to Nine Inch Nails WHEN)
But reading anything in Vogue always reminds me that I, personally, might be full of shit, given that my frame of reference is such a thin slice of humanity, so I set out to answer the question of: do bikers actually wear wallet chains?
To do this, I did what anyone concerned with journalistic integrity and not leaving her own house would do: I read old forum posts from the early 2000s. And here I learned that it's not a wallet chain, in the parlance, but a biker wallet, and really the biker wallet is originally a trucker (as in semis) wallet.
The go to joke, on some slightly less old forums, seems to be that these days, the biker wallet / wallet chain is mostly good for scratching up your paint job.
however.
It seems that back in the day, the wallet chain was in fact an essential piece of kit. Why? Wallet in back pocket, bumpy rides, long roads--apparently losing your wallet because it jostled out of your jeans is a real thing that really happened. The difference seems to be that between now and then, suspensions (i think is the term?) got better and in general, rides are smoother, so it's less of a risk.
I assume there's also the issue of--once the look is diluted enough by people the initial core group thinks of as posers, the object that was formerly a reliable marker of in-group, now useless, becomes uncool.
So anyway, that's some general thoughts on wallet chains. But back to Rust, specifically.

he's so busted and hot here. dishabille. where was I.
We can conclude that the wallet chain, in the 90s, is a pragmatic choice, like almost everything is, where Rust is concerned. We never see Crash riding but we assume, right, that he didn't spend four years infiltrating a biker gang to never be on a dang bike. Period accurate suspensions were apparently shit, and presumably losing your state issued fake ID is a pain in the ass while working UC, so the wallet chain is practical.
So why is 2012 Rust, who drives a pick up, wearing it?
For the same reason he's wearing the same watch for the whole series, I think. It works.
Or is it a hint of some attachment to identity? This is only on my mind due to recent discussions in my DMs, but the idea is tantalizing. What if he likes the wallet chain, just a teensy bit? That seems good or healthy, maybe, that he's got some scrap of preference and attachment going on there.
Or maybe he doesn't, and it's just another way 2012 Rust comes across as frozen in time, like most of those ten years are lost time. Not rugged practicality, not if it ain't broke, don't fix it, but a secret third thing: a resigned it is what it is, the smallest unit of self fulfilling prophecy that time is a flat circle or nothing changes and therefore nothing matters.
Or maybe it's that there ain't much of a difference between Crash and Rust at the end of the day, which is my humbly presented thesis in this half finished fan fic I promise I haven't forgotten about.
re: the boots. I think I have a source on the exact boots, once again due to the insane guys over on reddit. I'll comb through my bookmarks and see if I find it and I will report back...eventually. And then I think I might as well post about the knife and the zippo because the knife, at least, is funny to me and very Rust. Also I need to tag these, I guess?
Rust EDC posts so far:
the ledger // the watch
#true detective#rust cohle#rusty edc#anon#bonus theory for why 2012 rust is wearing a wallet chain:#so he has an easy handle to be yanked around by#guards!! sexualize that man!
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