#why so eager buck?? no reason i'm sure...

[leashybebes]

hallmark au

for *deep breath* @rosyhoneydew, @aisatsana441, @mrhappyjavaman, @a-simple-space-gay, @setmeatopthepyre and

@trombonechurchill (tumblr i beg you to let me tag more than five people in a line wtf) who all requested various amounts of this nonsense 💛💛💛

follows directly from the snippet in this post

"Uh." Tommy realizes he has no idea. "I need - " He thinks back to his list from last night. "I need a broom, and some wood polish and maybe the number of an electrician and a plumber and a builder if you have it?" He can hear the desperation in his own voice as he nears the end of that sentence.

"That's quite the list," the older man behind the counter says gently.

"Yeah. I inherited a house in town and I have - I have no idea what I'm doing," Tommy says, even though it stings to admit.

"Mrs Rosso's place?"

"Yeah," Tommy says, surprised for a second until he thinks about the size of the town. "My great aunt."

"I'm really sorry, man," the blue eyed guy says. "She was a sweetheart."

"Thanks. I hadn't seen her since I was a kid, but - thanks."

"I'm Bobby," the guy behind the counter says, offering Tommy a hand to shake. "Bobby Nash."

"Tommy Kinard."

"Hi, Tommy. I think we can help. As well as the store, I run a contracting business."

"You do?" Tommy feels almost faint with relief.

"Mm-hm. Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz," Bobby says, nodding towards the other two guys. "Two of my finest."

"Oh my god," Tommy sags against the counter, hardly able to believe his luck.

"Unfortunately neither of them is a plumber or an electrician, but if you'd like we can do a general assessment today, and I can meet with you tomorrow and we can discuss what needs doing, budget, things like that."

"That would be amazing," Tommy says.

"Eddie, why don't you head over to the Rosso place with Tommy and do the basic checks?"

"I can do it," the other guy - Buck? Evan? - says quickly.

"No, I need you out at the Sanders place today," Bobby says.

[harmonyrae]

Yes, Boss

AN: Just felt like writing, very little editing, based on a concept @comatosebunny09 (ily btw) has written (working for Sylus). Expect angst & devastation. 18+ MDNI just in case I write some dark shit.

"You bastard! You can't do this!"

Your pleas were useless, your partner - ex-partner now - had made up his mind. He'd taken this job on purpose, to get rid of you. How could you have missed the signs? His disinterest in your planning. His constant nagging about the job offer you'd "hastily" declined. This was how he'll get the job. By feeding you to the beast of the N109 Zone, he proves himself.

"Sorry, sweetheart. I tried to change your mind, but you've never listened to reason."

"All this for a quick buck? And the shallow promise of job security?"

He finally pries the flash drive out of your hand, the handcuffs tightening as you struggle. He holds it up, his haughty grin makes you sick.

"After I deliver Sylus's coding system? I'm pretty sure Ever will keep me around for a long while."

Alarms blare, your override has been detected. The handcuffs cut off circulation, but you don't stop fighting. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, your eyes watering.

"When I find you, I'll -"

"You and I both know you won't be walking out of this. Not once Sylus finds you."

He stands, leaving you writhing on the floor against your restraints. He kicks your gun away and stoops to pick up his own. He waves as he walks backward towards the exit. There's no point in begging.

As his figure fades, you try once more to free yourself. As the cuffs dig deeper, you cry out and collapse. The cool cement floor against your cheek is a welcomed reprieve. But your moment of peace is quickly interrupted.

Two sets of black boots sprint into view. You close your eyes, waiting for the gunshot that never comes. When you open your eyes again, a pair of dress shoes approaches. You instinctively struggle, which only makes you groan in pain. You crane your neck to look up at the shadowy figure. The gun in his hand twitches at his side.

"What do you want to do with her, boss?"

The voice was far too chipper, almost eager. You wince as the figure crouches. His calloused fingers grab your chin, forcing you to look up at him. Through the darkness, all you see is a faint red glow. Your mind races as you feel a presence probing at the walls of your memory. Just as the pressure becomes unbearable, it stops, and the man releases you.

"Search her and put her in a room."

His voice is dark and unyielding. His henchmen help you stand and usher you down the hall to an elevator. As it ascends, you finally reach your limit. Your body goes limp, and the men holding you up stumble as the try to catch you.

As everything fades to black, you swear you can hear his voice again.

"Careful, this one has claws."

It must have been hours since you passed out in that elevator. When you wake up you're alone in a room, a rather ornate one in fact. A plush comforter beneath you, pillows so soft your neck has finally learned to relax. Sitting up, you take a moment to find your center. You're in an unfamiliar room, in new clothes, with no weapons. Fuck.

Click

The door knob turns and sends a jolt of panic through you. Standing beside the bed, you search for anything that could be a weapon. Settling on the lamp, you yank the plug free from the outlet and wield it like a sword. As the door swings open, that faint red glow appears again. Your mind goes numb and the lamp shatters at your feet. Just as your about to fall, arms wrap around you.

"You really are stubborn aren't you?"

That deep, rich voice from before, he's here. Who is he? What is he doing to your mind? And more importantly, why are you still alive?

He directs you to the edge of the bed and sits you down. The mattress dips beside you as he sits. You hesitate before looking over at him, afraid you'll walk into some kind of trap. But instead of a trap, you're greeted by crimson eyes that are no longer glowing. The man before you is stoic, broad shoulders, firm jaw, devastatingly handsome by all accounts. If you weren't worried about dying, you'd be intrigued.

"Why am I here?"

He chuckles, low and almost forced.

"You're the one who broke in, remember?"

You tense, you bring your knees to your chest and shift back on the bed away from him. Your arms coil around your legs and you stare.

"Why am I alive then?" You mumble, bracing for the answer.

"Because you impressed me."

Your mouth falls open and he laughs, more genuine this time.

"And... I'm giving you a chance to fix your mistake. You work for me now. Until you get my coding system back. And wipe all traces of it from Ever's database."

"I work... for you? So you're...?"

"Sylus."

"And you expect me to what? Walk into Ever's building and yoink your shit back? How do you expect me to do that?"

"That's for you to figure out, kitten."

The nickname takes you by surprise. Your eyes widen, partially to rebuke his audacity and partially because you're not sure you hate it.

"If you could bypass my security systems, I'm sure you can do it. Oh, and you'll be upgrading that. Seems it isn't so impenetrable after all."

Get his coding system back, destroy all traces in Ever's database, upgrade his whole security system... This could take weeks. This is why you freelanced, you hated being told what to do.

"You'll live here, at the Onychinus base, until further notice. I sent Luke and Kieran to your apartment to fetch your belongings. Until they get back, there's clothes in the closet. I'll provide you with a new phone and gun."

A live in job. Fantastic. You don't even question the fact he knows where you live. As you open your mouth to protest, Sylus swiftly stands and strides to the door.

"I leave for a business deal in 25 minutes. Since Luke and Kieran are busy, you're my plus one. Change if you want, just be ready when I come back."

"I really don't have a say in this, huh?"

Sylus turns and leans against the door frame, tucking his hands in his pockets. His smirk is mischievous, but there's a danger to it nonetheless.

"Your other option is I kill you. What would you prefer?"

You blood runs cold and you bite your lip until you taste blood. Guess this is your life now. Working for the leader of Onychinus until you can figure out how to infiltrate Ever's computer science department. But this new arrangement won't change the fact when you find your ex-partner, he'll suffer in every way imaginable.

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: @trishiepo0 @not-so-quite-human @kitsunetori @babyx91 @libriomancer @lilyadora @crowskitten22 @letharue @silverbrain @alastor-simp @drama-trauma @0tterteeth @mysticcollectionvoid @godzillaglitter @godoffuckedupcats @klmpun @ariallaisawesome @spidy-spider01 @m00nchildwrites @plsdonttakemyname @hauntedbysmutm0 @withering-dream @lostwingz2236 @simpfortheseven @bubbleteakittyy @freddy-2002-blog @plsdonttakemyname @sylus-hunter

[valentine-cafe]

˖⁺. “ my sweetest girl ! ” : 

﹙ rich yandere mad doctor x hyperfem reader. ﹚.𖹭 ݁

. . . verse 209 jingyi x female reader !! 🍓 : ﹙ yandere ˖ mad doctor ˖ snake monster character ﹚

your boyfriend is more than capable of spoiling your pretty little self rotten. he cant help but indulge you a little more each and every time too.

﹙ cws ﹚: explicit content ˖ handjob ˖ fitting room sex ˖ clothed sex ˖ rough sex ˖ creampie ˖ office sex ˖ yandere behaviour | wc : 0.9k 

﹙ receipts ﹚: this man makes me wayyyy too weak . . . ough

꒰  other treats : guidelines ˖ m.list ˖ characters ˖ our lore  ꒱

Never lets your pretty little hands touch a speck of work, why should he? In fact, those beautiful hands of yours are getting pampered and painted. Your phone's crooked against your ear and shoulder, a small smile on your lips as you ramble to your lover whose busy with paperwork. "What colour are you thinking?" He hums. When the answer is his favourite - red - his deep chuckle has you flushing.

"Does that mean I'm in for for a surprise later, darling?"

How are you ever to deny a man who treats you right? Spoils you rotten? You smile to the shimmer of gel polish on your coffin-shaped nails and coyly croon back.

"Who knows gege, maybe? You sent me here for a reason, didn't you?" Code for, wouldn't you like your dick wrapped up in your favourite colour?

Speaking about spoiling, his card? It might as well have your name engraved on it instead. It's placed in your hand the second you enter a store. His favourite thing after a long week is to whisk you away to the nearest boutique and have you try on whatever your heart desires. Your cute little dresses as you twirl before the mirror have him painfully hard in the fitting room. Good thing you're such a sweetheart and straddle his lap with your tight-fitted, pink velvet dress on, right? He'll grind on your wet cunt with his evident tent, groaning into your shoulder so deeply.

"No panties, sweetheart? My, aren't you bold?"

Large hands squeeze on your thighs as you so eagerly rock on his hard-on. You bite your plush lip, whine and slot your drippy slit right over his throbbing cock.

"Another little gift for you. Am I so wrong?" His fingers trail to the back of your neck, holding you there as his hips buck in tune. If you wanted it so bad, who was he to deny his dearest anything?

"Pretty little slut." The murmur to your neck is heated, his free hand works on his buckle. "Then get to it, won't you?"

His dick always feels better in public. The squeeze of your sopping pussy around his base is all the more sweeter when you're trying to keep your voice down. He intentionally rams up into you sweetspot and clamps a palm over your mouth. Fucks into you roughly, shallowly. Creams your pretty cunt so full of him, since you're such an eager girl.

His deep groan rumbles through your ear. "There you go sweetheart. All for this greedy pussy, hmm?"

His girl gets whatever she possibly wants. Of course he is going to help you with your hair in the morning. You'll be sat on the dresser in your white fluffy towel, chatting away about your week while he's stood behind you. Leaves rolled to his elbows, the hairdryer's in one hand and your favourite brush in the other. Three pins held by his lips as he so diligently styles and combs however you require.

Keeps a picture of you in his wallet. If anyone asks his cold, slitted eyes cast a blank glance over, before his ever-handsome smile curls to his lips. "Why, that's my darling girl. Pretty, isn't she?" The person better hope they agree in an appropriate way. Otherwise. . . Well. He can't have anyone taking you away from him, now can he?

Loves when your lipstick stains his neck. He'll be sure to wear them with pride as he ventures into his clinic. You have nurses watching in envy, patients all the more confused. Who cares for professionalism?

Especially when you wander into his office to surprise him for lunch. The second he sets his sights on you, your thighs are bundled up in his strong hands and you're plopped on his desk. Kisses dizzy you until you can barely breathe. He's messed up your makeup and you're all whiney when he pulls away to saliva connecting your swollen lips.

"Oh, poor thing. I simply can't help myself around such a pretty sweetheart. . . "

Worry not! Jingyi keeps extra makeup products for you in his top drawer. All you have to do is sit pretty while he snatches the small back, wipes away his mess and sets to work on dolling you up again.

The pucker of your lips under the lipstick has him biting onto his. You notice and giggle. The little jitter halts when he grasps your chin with his free hand and croons lowly.

"Stay still now. Lest you want me to mess it up all over again?"

There you go, batting those thick lashes at him? How is he not supposed to drop the lipstick and press you back into his desk? You brought it on yourself missy. Besides, you love when he shoves your underwear to the side and presses his cock in so eagerly. Love when he humps you against his desk so you squirt all over his paperwork. Leave the both of you panting and bundled up in his office chair at the end of it all.

Carries all of your shopping bags because he is here to spoil you, which really means he's here to worship you. Jingyi will have it no other way. Whether it's buying you an outfit every week, keeping up to date with your make-up, helping you out with your skin care in the middle of the night — who cares? As long as his pretty girl is happy. And as long as people keep their eyes off of her . . .

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[bonbonly]

Eek eek eek why am I STARVING for more brothers best friend Charles and being on vacation and he’s just all horny and yghshhwhw work your magic. Pleaseeee

finally got back to this because i'm actually a little whore for charles right now

bon's thoughts (18+)

your brother can't seem to understand why charles keeps coming over to his house again and again, as if waiting for a gift only to never receive it. he doesn't ask, though, because he's just grateful to have a best friend that's so eager to spend time with him! the real reason though was pretty obvious: charles wanted to see you, he wanted to see what you were up to, but each time he came over he forgot that your university let students out for vacation later than his university did. he always forgets the date, so he shows up at your house every day just in case you spring up on him out of nowhere.

a few nights ago, he finally found your instagram through your brother and decided to send you a follow request, your account was private and for very good obvious reasons. he's up in his bed, waiting for you to follow him back and when you do, he immediately checks your story. you're laying in bed wearing quite the scandalous outfit and he checks when you uploaded the story. 2 minutes ago. he's smirking to himself, closing his phone and cracking his knuckles. oh he surely was going to have fun with you when you got back.

when you arrive at your lovely house, the first face you see is not even your parents or your brother, it's charles with a big smile on his face. he pulls out into a hug, inhaling your scent that he missed for so long, and he buries his face into your neck, kissing your skin while you pat his shoulders, telling him to get off of you before your brother sees.

"oh mon ange, your brother isn't here!" charles grins, and you frown,

"but i come back today? they know that," you respond.

"oh i know that, but i managed to tell your family that you're actually coming tomorrow, so i got them tickets to see a movie to spend their time. they won't be here for a long while," his fingers toy with the straps of your tank top, "and i intend to make up for all the time you spent away from me."

you inhale, sharply, as charles carries you upstairs to your bedroom, placing you onto the bed. he tugs at your top, demanding you to start stripping and you do, almost as if it's on instinct. he gives you a pleased smile, kissing your lips as you lean into your bed,

"so perfect, oh you're so perfect for me," he groans, lips trailing down your bare body before nestling himself between your legs. you buck against him without thinking and he spreads your legs wider, lapping at your sweet cunt as he chuckles, the vibrations going straight to your core. you're leaking uncontrollably at this point, unable to quiet your moans. he seals his lips around your clit, sucking gently as he continues to thrust his tongue inside you as his hands travel upwards to pinch and twist your nipples. your back arches, crying out loud as you cum and you can feel him grin against you, sucking and lapping your clit to prolong your release. "i could eat you out for hours, but no."

he pulls away, licking his lips and staring at you darkly, "i want you on your knees, and i want you to apologize for being away from me for so long. i'm going to make sure every hole of yours is filled with my cum before your family comes back."

and you gulp at his words, knowing he has no plans of stopping any time soon.

[dropitpunk]

luca and carmen berzatto both being into you

luca x fem reader x carmen berzatto

cw: threesome (they tag team you), dubcon if you squint, sub!reader, degradation, creampie, dirty talk, vaginal sex, anal sex and rimming, oral, manhandling, rough sex, crying during the act.

sequel to this. i recommend you to read it first!

a finger was now finding the way under your shirt, slow and teasing.

"we will have to wait until someone finds us." carmen leaned in and whispered playfully in your ear.

"what do you mean? do you... do you not have your phone with you?" you asked meekly, feeling luca's hands creeping under your shirt and caressing your waist. carmen smiled at you, clear amusement covered his whole face.

"why would i have it? we were just cleaning, pretty thing." carmen said in a condescending way. deep down you knew it wasn't a good reason, but you were getting confused with how strong his perfume was up close, a mix of cigarettes, sweat and just pure man.

"but... what are we gonna do?" you were suddenly feeling shy under the attention from the two men. luca stopped his hands just under your breasts, looking at carmen before answering into your neck.

"i have a few ideas, baby." luca kissed the back of your neck softly, barely there. your body shivered and you gulped, looking clueless at carmen who just brought a hand to your cheeks. "and i'm sure i'm not the only one with them."

"d'you wanna stay here with us?" carmen kissed your forehead gently as luca peppered your neck with wet kisses, breathing heavily in your ear. you didn't consider there could be a choice until now, and your mind couldn't process an answer with how hot you were feeling.

"hmm?" luca pressed, rubbing his growing erection into your ass and making you moan against carmen's hand. you nodded quickly and eager, lust clouding any possible judgement.

carmen's lips brushed against yours while luca kept humping you through your clothes, hands finding your breasts and holding you tight to his body.

"i guess you do." carmen kissed you with roughness and lack of care, his lips chapped but soft against yours. his tongue explored your mouth messily, a visible display of dominance when combined with the strong hand holding your face in place by your neck. the other was caressing your hair, grabbing it with force enough to make you whine in little pain.

luca's hands went under your bra, teasing your nipples with the tip of his fingers while carmen kissed you, letting one of his hands go to your ass and squeeze, slapping the back of your thighs with a smirk against your mouth. you moaned, trying to make sense of the situation, overwhelmed with sensations.

they were everywhere, swallowing you and doing whatever they wanted.

your pussy was so wet you were sure they could feel it over your clothes, throbbing against carmen's clothed cock that stimulated you just right when he bucked his hips.

"i can't believe you're this horny from being groped by two men in this fucking closet." luca laughed against your skin, he sounded so mean to your ears your pussy clenched around nothing, whining against carmen's lips.

a string of saliva connected you and carmen when he pulled away, he smiled at how shiny your eyes looked and how swollen your lips were. he pecked your lips and kissed your cheeks, whispering to you, "probably would've liked more men in here, fucking slut."

"no, carmy." you whined and you couldn't recognize your own voice, so high pitched and needy. luca scoffed, pinching your nipples as if he was punishing you.

"you answer him but not me?" luca said annoyed and unclasped your bra, carmen helped him out and took off your shirt quickly.

you were exposed, and before you could think about covering your breasts with your hands you were being turned around, now facing luca and his furrowed eyebrows.

luca didn't get angry at you often, always so sweet and gentle with you, but you couldn't be more turned on from how possessive he looked. his gaze was burning your skin.

"thanks, man, this is all for me now." carmen winked at luca and he rolled his eyes, mouth finding your sensitive nipples and twirling his tongue around one nub, the other being roughly handled by his hands. his fingers could cover your whole breasts by how big they were.

carmen's fingers went and came from caressing your back and your waist, back to massaging your shoulders and neck. he continued for a few seconds before tugging at your pants, playing with the buttons before kissing the top of your head.

"i just have to know how wet you are first. i bet you are dripping, you sound so fucking horny, baby." you moaned in response and he slid a hand under your pants, rubbing you over your panties. your hips bucked against his fingers, trying to get any contact possible.

your panties were ruined, barely any fabric left to cover your pussy from his touch. carmen smirked and pressed his thumb against your clit, your ass rubbing against his groin. luca grazed his teeth over your nipples just to bring your attention back to him, kissing down your belly and stopping just before carmen's hands were.

"you wanna see?" you let a confused sound and then realized carmen was not talking to you when luca nodded against your chest. you felt two fingers going under your panties and sliding against your slit, collecting the wetness there and leaving just as you were starting to hump his hand.

"look at this, fucking soaked. just from a little kissing and touching." carmen held his fingers up to luca and you felt your face burn, an embarrassed noise letting your throat and making luca chuckle.

"i don't even think she can handle us both, being this weak." luca said and carmen brought his own fingers to his mouth, tasting you and humming with delight. "we gon' have to keep her still so she can take it."

luca took your pants and underwear off in one go, holding your arms so you could step off them without falling into carmen. you were completely exposed to their predatory eyes, feeling conscious of how luca and carmen were still completely clothed.

you felt dirty, it felt good.

"real gorgeous, baby," carmen said against your skin as he got down on his knees, hands grabbing your waist. you couldn't see, but the look in his eyes was full of devotion, ready to give it all to you. he kissed your ass cheeks, resting his forehead against you and breathing heavily.

"you smell so good," luca whispered and kissed your belly button, groaning when he caught sight of your pussy, glistening with wetness and all puffy from carmen's touch. he kissed your knees and two strong hands separated your legs as he bit and licked your inner thighs.

carmen held your ass cheeks apart, biting the skin softly and slowly bringing his tongue to your hole. you jumped, the feeling foreign but welcomed.

"never had your ass played with before? gon' have to prep you before i fuck you here, baby." carmen smiled teasingly and luca chuckled, amused at your gasps and sighs and how your body tensed at carmen's words.

luca lapped all the wetness from your inner thighs, giving your pussy a little kiss before licking your slit, groaning into your cunt with hunger.

they were synchronized when they found your most sensitive spots, sucking and licking you like two starved men in a competition. your legs turned into jelly and you were sure you would have fallen if their grip wasn't so tight.

carmen bent you a bit more so he could stuff his tongue into you as he grabbed your ass, saliva dripping from his chin and making a mess in your thighs.

your hands were holding onto luca's hair for dear life as he sucked your clit, the slurping sounds loud and embarrassing to your ears but quickly getting overhead by your moans and curse words.

"pussy so good, carmen, you need to have it later," luca took a breath to glance at carmen, half of his face covered in your juices. "wet and so fucking sloppy just how i like it."

"her ass is so tight, think you gon' have to keep her mouth shut or she gon' scream this whole place down when i'm fucking it. isn't it right, baby?" carmen said like you were too dumb to understand, and he seemed right when you just whined in agreement, tongue too heavy in your mouth and jaw slack.

luca suddenly stuffed two fingers into you, sliding them in just easy from how soaked you were. carmen took a hint to do the same, sucking one finger and entering your ass, pumping it slowly and carefully to not make it hurt so much.

luca reached up and grabbed your breasts for support, tongue working along with his fingers to make you a moaning mess. you clenched around carmen's finger, your hand slamming the wall beside you to equilibrate.

"she's gonna be too busy trying to take my cock into her pussy to care about you, carmys." that seemed to irritate carmen, as he brought another finger to your ass much more harsh, the tight skin around it burning and stretching to accommodate the thickness of his digits.

luca moved quicker, fingers leaving and entering your cunt in a fast pace, the tips were reaching your sweet spot in a way only a experienced man could. you could swear you were seeing stars, eyes pitch black and head dizzy. your head was spinning and your stomach was so tight you didn't know if you were gonna cum or faint. or all at the same time.

"sweetheart is gonna cum." carmen cooed at you and spit into your asshole, finding the pace that brought you the most pleasure.

his tongue joined his fingers and you were gone, coming hard around luca's fingers and on his mouth. you felt like you were gonna pass out, seeing black for a few seconds and only feeling your high.

luca drank up all your wetness with thirst, making you try to get away from his mouth, overstimulated. carmen held you in place, his tongue even far into you as you kept rolling your hips in hope of stop being touched.

you cried out, "too much."

they pretended to not hear and luca only stopped when he looked up and saw tears running down your face, stopping licking your pussy and bringing two hands to your face.

"baby, why are you crying already? you forgot you still have to take our cocks? so cute." luca cooed at you and pinched your checks, pecking your mouth a couple times.

carmen stood up before giving your ass a gentle slap, kissing the back of your head.

carmen held your chin to his face now, kissing your lips and looking at luca before smiling and saying, "i don't think she understood you. she's got a dumb look in her eyes."

"such a cute fucktoy. the cutest really," luca said against your neck, unbuckling his belt with one hand, tatted arm holding your waist firmly. luca rubbed his cock against you still with his boxers on, teasing you a little.

on the other hand, carmen put his pants down quickly, just enough for his dick to spring free, hitting your ass in the process. he kissed behind your ear, smiling at your sobbing, more tears running down your face.

"just fuck me, please, please..." you didn't know at who you were directing your pleads. it could be to any of them, and it was to both at the same time.

"you gon' learn to appreciate me more. you think carmen is gonna go easy on your virgin little hole? i'm just gonna destroy you a little, pretty. it's not even gonna hurt." luca smiled down at you and you shivered, holding onto his arms and throwing your head back. his blond hair was messy, and his skin was sweating, cheeks slightly flushed with the heat.

you could feel carmen's curls tickling your skin as he laughed, rubbing his cock against your entrance. the hole clenched around nothing, copious amounts of saliva coating his tip when he slowly entered you, just the tip resting in you.

you gasped, feeling it burn. carmen was thick, more than any partner you've ever been with, and feeling him a way you've never felt anyone before was overwhelming.

your glassed eyes looked for luca for support when carmen let more spit coat his dick and thrusted into you with full force, your whole body burning with the sensation. it was a pleasurable pain, just enough to make you wince but throw your ass back to him. luca just smirked, watching you struggling to take it all.

you were gasping for air, but luca didn't let you look back to carmen as he took your mouth in his, covering your noises with his tongue.

"i told you you'd have to shut her up." carmen chuckled and caressed your waist, being merciful as he let you accommodate to his size. his white shirt was almost see through with how much you were sweating, wrinkled from your touch.

you were too distracted to see luca freeing his painfully hard cock from his boxers, but you surely felt his full length sliding into your pussy in one movement. he gasped, he didn't really mean to but you were just so wet his hips lost control. you moaned loud against his mouth.

"i'm too full..." your eyes rolled back and you could feel your orgasm approaching just from feeling them inside you. you were aching, ass and pussy stuffed so full you couldn't even move.

"hold on tight, baby." carmen kissed your hair and started moving with caution, stretching you up in a way you didn't thought it was possible. while carmen was thicker, luca was longer, reaching a deep spot inside of you.

carmen was groaning in your ear every time he moved, the tightness around his dick too much to take. he held his shirt up and watched it disappear into your ass inch by inch, throwing his head back in pleasure.

"i can feel him inside you too. i guess it's the first time we are getting along." luca laughed and whispered against your face. he started to thrust into you, holding your leg up so he could find your g-spot quicker. the angle made carmen come closer to you, sturdy chest pressed against your back.

they found a rhythm that seemed to work for all three, using you for their pleasure, bending you and moving your limbs as they liked. strong bodies held you in place, their cocks going in and out of you at a rough pace.

luca's heavy balls slapped against your pussy and he moaned with his face in your neck, kissing you and making you move by his strong hands in your waist.

carmen embraced your upper body and whined while rubbing his curls in your shoulder, back hugging you in a rather sweet act. much different from how rough he was fucking your ass, from how hoarse his voice was from spilling obscenities to you over and over.

"gonna come in your ass, baby." carmen struggled to say as his balls were tightening and you clenched around them, saliva pooling in your mouth and running down your chin.

your face was covered in tears, eyes all red and swollen from how much you were crying. it was too good, too much all at once. you could barely take it.

"you gonna have to suck my cock clean from how much cum i'm gonna give you." luca groaned, almost delirious with your pussy squeezing him so well.

your belly clenched and you couldn't breathe, reaching the strongest orgasm you've ever had around their cocks. you couldn't see or hear anything for a moment, just how good you were feeling. your head was resting against carmen's unconsciously and your hand was holding luca's, trying to find support.

they kissed you through it wherever they could reach, coming at the same time. your ass and pussy were full of cum, mostly dripping from your inner thighs and ass to the floor, making a mess around you.

you were all warm, slowly coming back from your high. luca looked attentive at you, although breathless and visibly shaken. carmen rested his forehead against your shoulder, eyes closed and arms still around you, hold even more intense now.

"you okay?" carmen was the first one to talk after minutes of recovering, voice sweet and with sincere concern.

"yeah, i'm good." you said, body still spasming. a gentle kiss was placed on your lips from luca, and two on your cheeks.

"then we can switch places." carmen smiled wickedly and winked at luca, who smirked and nodded.

they were finally getting to know each other.

a/n: thank you for the response on the first part, it encouraged me lots. i would really appreciate it if you shared your thoughts on this one!

[achilles-rage]

thirteen crows: chapter six

summary: your bar regulars come visit you at your house, begging you to let them in. then, you're visited by the masked men again.

word count: 2.6k

previous chapter

series masterlist

a/n: one again, you can choose who is who during the last part of the story, but i wrote it with the idea that buck is more eager to please, while eddie is sadistic hehe. and i'm so sorry, this was supposed to be longer (the smut was lol) but i sprained my wrist a couple years ago and it never fully healed, so typing is really painful sometimes, and lately it's been really bad. i'll try to make the next chapter longer if my wrist feels better though. enjoy<33

warnings: hints of smut, stalking, slight non-con (but reader likes it??? idk), no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

It’s been almost a week since you watched Isaac die in the alleyway. You’ve called in sick to work the entire week; you can hardly even get out of bed. While you hope and pray that you aren’t in danger as long as you play along with this fucked up game, the people around you are dying now. 

You went to take the trash out the day after Isaac died, it was late at night, and you almost bumped into a man in the dark back entryway of your building. The next day, he was found dead in his car. Stabbed to death. And you recognized him immediately when you saw the news.

You hadn’t noticed when he turned, thinking for a moment about following you, but choosing against it. But they did. They had been parked outside of your house for most of the day, just making sure their sweet girl was okay, when they saw the man. They knew what they had to do; they couldn’t risk anything happening to you. 

In reality, the man had stopped and turned because he thought he forgot his wallet in his girlfriend’s apartment, but then realized it was in his pocket, and turned back around and left the building. They weren’t aware of that, though. Clearly.

They start to get worried for you when you still haven’t left your apartment a week later. They’re almost sure you’re running out of food by now, and all you do is move from your bed, to your couch, and back to bed. 

You’re ignoring their messages and calls, too. You didn’t even laugh when you listened to Buck’s voicemail about a fight almost breaking out at the Thirteen Crows on football night. You usually love to hear drama like that. 

That’s why, eight days after they killed Isaac, Eddie shows up to your house with a smile and a box of donuts. Something to cheer you up, he says.

“Eddie, you have to go.” He’s only just able to see your face; your body completely behind the door as you open your door just far enough for you to stick your head out. His smile falters; this donut shop is your favourite.

“I heard about Isaac, and Tara says you’ve called in to work every day this week. Figure you could use some company.” he tries to reason, fighting the urge to push the door open and bully his way in. He can’t, though. He knows that.

“Thank you, but you really have to go.” you tell him. You try to be stern, but your voice comes out just above a whisper, and Eddie picks up on the edge in your voice. 

You can’t see him being killed too. You’re not sure why these men have attached themselves to you, or how the people around you are managing to piss them off, but you really don’t want to test them. And Eddie has a son, for god’s sake, you can’t risk anything happening to either of them.

“Why? Is everything okay?” he asks, feigning concern as he looks at you with his big brown eyes. You sigh, tears forming in your eyes as you tear your gaze from his and tilt your face to the floor. He’s so kind, and you want nothing more than to have his large arms wrapped around you right now, letting him calm you down, but you know you can’t.

“I don’t want you to die.” is all you say before you close the door abruptly. He hears the lock click, and he listens hard to hear your movements behind the door. When he doesn’t, he pulls out his phone, seeing that you’re still standing with your back pressed to the door, tears streaming down your cheeks and dripping off your chin. 

He huffs as he opens the phone app and hits Buck’s contact. He needs him here now. Their poor thing; they’ve scared you too much, and now they have to do something to get you back. To make you believe they can protect you.

He walks down the hall, just enough that you won’t be able to hear him before he explains what’s just happened to Buck, although he’s sure Buck had already heard most of the conversation from the camera.

Not even ten minutes later, Buck is walking into your building with food from your favourite takeout place. They both walk back to your door together, waiting impatiently for you to let them in. 

When Buck sees your tired face, riddled with sorrow, it’s hard for him to fight the urge to barge into your apartment and wrap his arms around you, but he restrains himself. He knows you have to let them in willingly.

“Please.” is all you say when you look between them, and they give you sheepish smiles.

“You’re not gonna get rid of us, sweetheart. We know you need someone. Please let us in.” Buck says, and Eddie’s brows raise just slightly, proud of the sincerity in his voice.

You hesitate as you look between them, their eyes big and hopeful. You know you shouldn’t; you’re half sure that they’re already on the masked men’s hit list already just by being here. But you feel like you’re going fucking insane. You want nothing more than to be close to someone right now, so after a few moments, you sigh and open the door further. 

They’re quick to move past you and into your apartment before you change your mind. They make themselves right at home in your kitchen, getting the food they brought ready, while you sit back down on your couch, too exhausted to follow them.

They sit the food in front of you when they come back in, then sandwich you between them on the couch. Their bodies are pressed up beside yours, but you hardly care right now, you’re just glad that someone is here. Finally.

“Now, you’re gonna eat, and then you’re gonna tell us why you think we’ll die because we’re here.” Eddie tells you sternly, although there’s a hint of softness in his voice that you cling to. 

You look down at the food and sigh. You don’t remember the last time you’ve eaten, so you take the food that Eddie holds out for you, feeling a little awkward as they watch you eat.

Buck picks up on your expression and grabs the remote to your tv, turning it on and letting the noise drown out the silence of your apartment. With one quick look to Eddie, both of them turn to watch the tv while you finish eating, continuing to steal glances at you every now and then.

When you’re finally finished, Buck takes your empty plate from you and sets it on your coffee table, then both men angle their bodies to face you once again.

You look straight ahead of you as they wait for you to start speaking, and then you let out a sob, closing your eyes as you lurch forward, holding your head in your hands.

They’re both quick to comfort you. Buck puts an arm around your shoulders and shushes you quietly, while Eddie’s hand goes to your thigh, rubbing a thumb across the skin not covered by your sleep shorts.

After ten or so minutes, you finally inhale a shaky breath, whispering a quick “okay” as you straighten up.

“Everyone around me is dying.” you say, unsure of what else you even can say. They furrow their brows in feigned confusion, both keeping their hands on you as they urge you to continue speaking.

“I just- I don’t want anything to happen to you. You shouldn’t be here.” They shake their heads adamantly, and Eddie is the first to speak.

“Hey, nothing is gonna happen to us. We can take care of ourselves.” he says sternly, and you turn to look up at him, chewing on your lip nervously. 

The rest of the story is on the tip of your tongue; threatening to spill now that your friends, your very large, very handsome friends, are beside you. You don’t though. You know the masked men will find out somehow.

“That’s what Isaac said. And look at him now.” you speak in a quiet voice. Tears are forming in your eyes again as you think of the sight of him, bloody and gasping in the alleyway, and nothing for you to do for him.

“We’re not Isaac. Nothing is going to happen to you. That’s a promise.” Buck says, and you want to believe him so bad. Your mind is so jumbled that you don’t realize the “what the fuck?” look Eddie gives Buck. You know that they can’t really promise that, but you can’t help but believe Buck’s words. You’re sure it’s just because you’re desperate for his words to be true, but either way, you can’t help but let out a big breath, feeling your shoulders deflate slightly.

“I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about you.” Both men raise a brow at your words. They both feel you’re about to tell them about everything, and they’re not sure if that’s good or bad. 

“If people around you are dying, why aren’t you worried about yourself?” Eddie asks, a slight edge in his voice that flies right over your head. 

You shake your head as you think about everything that’s happened to you the past couple weeks. Why couldn’t they have just killed you; gotten it over with, you think.

“I don’t know. I just- I don’t want to lose anyone else.” You whisper the last sentence, crossing your arms over your torso in a desperate attempt to calm your racing heart. Both men smirk at each other for a split second before their eyes are back on you. Their good girl; they knew you’d listen to them.

“We’re not going anywhere. We’re gonna help you through this, alright?” Buck speaks, and you nod slowly. You look up at him with the smallest hint of a smile, and he lets out a breath, elated to finally see that pretty smile he’s been so desperate to see for the last eight days.

“Yeah, who’s gonna kill us? We’re firefighters, and we wouldn’t go down easy.” Eddie tries to joke, and your smile widens. Buck almost moans at the sound of your soft laugh, a grin breaking onto his face as he makes eye contact with Eddie over your head. They’ve won.

You finally go back to work for your next shift two days later, a small smile on your face as you greet Tara. She explains the new people your boss has hired as you begin to work, and you almost feel normal for an hour or two as she tells you that the new guy is an absolute idiot, and the girl is super nice. You’re excited to meet them, although you’re sure the man will make you want to punch him, but you hope that he’s at least nice. 

You’re extremely happy when your regulars walk into the bar. It means that they haven’t been brutally murdered by two masked men, and you feel yourself becoming a little less anxious. Maybe the masked men have found a new target, you think, because the killings haven’t stopped, but the man that the police had found yesterday wasn’t anyone you knew.

Both men walk you home at the end of the night, vowing that they’ll protect you and themselves the whole way, and you let them. You know that if the masked men want to kill them, they’ll kill them regardless of if you let them walk you home, so you quickly agree to them coming with you.

It’s still dark when you wake up from a deep sleep, a hand clasped over your mouth and the familiar feeling of a cold blade at your neck. You stare up at the masks with wide eyes, trying to blink away the darkness as they shush your soft whimpers in low tones. 

“Hey, sweet girl. You miss us?” one purrs, both of them tilting their heads to the side as they take in your fearful expression.

“It’s okay, honey. You’ve been so good for us; haven’t told a soul, have you?” the smaller one speaks, and you nod quickly. They hear your muffled “no, no” under the firm hand over your mouth, and chuckle darkly.

“And nothing’s going to happen to you, sweet girl. As long as you don’t say a word to anyone about us. You got that, baby?” the larger one says, and you nod quickly when the knife is removed from your neck. 

You try not to think about the pool between your legs as they stare down your body. You know you shouldn’t feel this way about these men; they’ve killed two people you knew, and countless others, but you can’t stop staring at their broad shoulders and muscular arms. 

With one swift motion, the smaller man hands the knife to the other man and then yanks your panties down your legs, the smirk evident in his voice when he speaks.

“You like being our little toy, don’t you, sweet girl? You’re fucking soaked.” You hesitate, and when the larger man takes his hand off your mouth and leans down to inhale the scent of your skin, you nod once.

“Yes. yes.” you whimper, closing your eyes and shivering as the smaller man’s glove-covered fingers ghost up your inner thigh.

“Then, you know the drill, baby.” is the last thing you hear before your eyes are covered by what you’re sure is the same blindfold they used last time. 

They do the exact same thing as the last time they broke into your apartment; one man playing with your tits while the other licks and nips at your dripping cunt. 

You realize almost immediately, though, that the way they touch you is extremely different. While the man whose mouth attached itself to your clit last time was desperate and eager, the other laps at your cunt in a way that’s almost sadistic. His teeth ghost over your clit before he bites lightly, and if it wasn’t for the knife firmly placed between the valley of your breasts, you’re sure you’d be screaming and writhing away from him.

Similarly, the man whose mouth and hand are attached to your sensitive breasts seems to be relishing in your pleasure. As you fight back whimpers and moans, all you can hear is the man’s voice continuously asking “you like that, sweet girl? You want more?” 

When they finally leave, you’re once again left in complete darkness. Your legs are weak, and you can still feel the cold remnants of spit around your nipples, which is now making you shiver as it dries in the cool air.

As you drift off to sleep, all you can think about is how fucking good they just made you feel, and why they haven’t made you do anything for them. You want to believe their words; you want to believe that they won’t continue killing if you continue with their arrangement, so you find yourself doing so as your eyes flutter shut. 

You can’t help but think that this arrangement isn’t half bad. You feel extremely guilty as the miniscule thought trumps the stampede of fearful ones in your mind, but you can’t help it. If all they want is this, you sort of don’t mind giving it to them, even if it makes your heart race and your hands shake in fear.

next chapter

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[avonne-writes]

55 on the prompt list omg!!! mutual pining/oblivious hs au buck x bucky would be so funny (and sweet and fluffy)

Thank you for the prompt! Indeed, it’s perfect for my High School AU 🥰 This is set in 9th grade before they start dating, so Bucky is 15 and Gale is 14. The earliest installment of the series so far!

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55. Mutual Pining (+ Oblivious)

Gale has been standing in the Brady family's kitchen for at least fifteen minutes now, stuck in a conversation with one of Brady’s sisters. He doesn’t know how to excuse himself politely, and she's good at rolling the discussion forward practically by herself. He wonders why she doesn’t just ignore him like she did the other boys Brady invited. Does she have a crush on him? But she's two years older!

His friends are all in the basement, playing video games, but Gale offered Brady's mom a helping hand with distributing the snacks. He followed her to the kitchen, but he never made it back to the others, because Lena just latched onto him. She asked him about his hair and things got out of Gale's control. So here he is, clutching a blue plastic bowl filled with chips, standing awkwardly in the open space between the kitchen island and the counter. Leaning on the island, Lena blocks his way out.

Gale's mind can’t help but worry that he’s gonna miss out on something. It’s a miracle that he was even invited. Having an actual friend group instead of individual friends is a new experience for him. And most of these boys are on the soccer team. They're much more social than he is. He’s pretty sure Brady only invited him because Bucky asked him to sit with them at lunch and he overheard them talking about this.

Bucky...

Gale sighs, a painful sensation twisting in his chest. Will he have any more opportunities to be close to Bucky today? He curses himself for his eagerness to make a good impression on Brady’s mom, because if he hadn't done that, he would be with Bucky now, and he wouldn’t have lost a single moment together. What if Bucky gets too into the game they're playing and won't talk to him any more tonight? What if Gale is pushed to the side of the group, excluded from it all? Forgotten?

If only he could tell Lena that he doesn’t like girls, he could be free. Or maybe not? Maybe she just wants to make friends. Why would she even like Gale, when he's so - so doll-like. Almost like a girl, except he’s thin, tall and flat, and his voice keeps getting deeper. But his lips look like a kiss emoji. He especially hates how pale his cheeks are, because he knows just how bright pink they blush when he's embarrassed or excited. Lately, his cheeks are on fire all the time.

The reason why is loud, chatty, and so attractive that Gale feels a tingling sensation in his stomach every time he sees him.

Thinking about him is enough to make heat rise to Gale's face already. Him, him, him. His bright smile, his dark blue eyes, his curls, his silly jokes and the games he plays with Gale in secret when they share a desk in school. The way he always chooses Gale first to be on his team in P.E., and how he claps Gale on the back or fistbumps him when they score. Once, he even gave Gale a hug after a particularly nice basketball play. It was one of the best days of Gale's life so far.

Gale can feel this... this fire growing inside of him. It has never been this intense before, never so desperate that he couldn’t feel hunger, thirst or tiredness when he thought about it. But that’s how it is nowadays. Is this what love is? He thinks about it every day, every hour. I'm in love, goes his mind, and each time, it feels different, sweet and bitter and unbearable. One minute, he never wants it to end, then the next, he wishes he could tear it right out of his chest.

How does no one else see it on his face?

"You’re not like Johnny's other friends." Lena tells him in a sweet voice, drawing his attention back to the present. He has no idea what she said in the past few minutes. "You’re much nicer. Smarter too."

Gale hugs the bowl to his stomach, pulls his shoulders up and gives her an embarrassed smile. "Thanks."

"Actually, do you wanna -"

Gale never learns what she was going to suggest, because a cheerful voice interrupts her question.

"Buck! Are they holding you hostage?" Bucky calls out from the top of the stairs leading to the basement, based on the echo.

"I'm here!" Gale yells, and promptly wants to bury himself under a pile of sand. I'm here? That wasn’t even an answer to Bucky's playful question, it made no sense at all. Oh God, what does Bucky think of him now? He must think that Gale’s a weirdo, socially awkward charity case, but Gale’s not like that at all, he’s usually calm and funny. He just wants to be liked so much that he loses all common sense, apparently.

Before he could beat himself up over it, footsteps approach, and Bucky walks into the kitchen. Gale's face brightens automatically. He smiles, and Bucky smiles back before he directs his eyes at Lena.

"Hey, Lenny, how's it going?" He says, flicking her long hair as he walks past her. Tar coils in Gale's throat at the sight, but he swallows it down.

She blushes, but doesn’t look pleased to see Bucky. "We're kind of busy, Bucky."

"Oh, busy?" Bucky teases, glancing between them and smirking. Gale widens his eyes in an expression that's meant to convey a heartfelt hell no.

"You’re so childish." Lena huffs, but Bucky doesn’t look at her again.

He stops next to Gale with a hand on the kitchen counter, and uses the back of the other to swat Gale's arm. "Hear that, Buck, I’m childish."

Gale's blood turns into an electric current in his veins. He stares into Bucky’s eyes, mesmerized by the playfulness shining in their blue depths. "Where's the lie?"

Bucky grins at him for a long moment, then reaches into the bowl Gale's holding, grabs a few chips and pops them in his mouth. It takes Gale a second too long to realize that he shouldn't watch him so intensely, so revealingly. He casts his gaze down before he looks back up, unable to keep his eyes off Bucky. He’s sure he's super obvious. Still, he can’t help but lean a bit closer until his elbow brushes Bucky's arm, as if by accident.

God, he has no idea how he gets away with it without Bucky flinching away from him. After all, he’s aware of Bucky's reputation as someone who has a new girlfriend every week. Rumours are, that's what he did last year in his previous school and what he plans on continuing this year. It's only October, so he’s still single, but Gale’s sure it won't be for too long.

A sad voice in him wonders if he'll stop trying to befriend Gale when that happens. He won't have space in his life for new friends when dating takes up all his time. Perhaps that will be for the better. Gale's hopeless crush on his clearly heterosexual best friend could die then. It will be harder to say goodbye to the best friend part. He has never really met anyone else he felt so attuned to. No one has matched his puzzle piece like Bucky does. They're on the same wavelength.

He hears a huff from Lena. "Okay. Whatever. See you later, Gale."

"See you!" Gale says in a haste, feeling guilty as she walks away. But it only lasts for a split second, because next thing he knows, Bucky's ruffling his hair.

"Way to go, Buck." He teases.

Gale bats Bucky's hand away because he loves its touch so much he can’t stand it, but Bucky just pushes Gale's hand back and they end up hand-wrestling for a moment before Gale drops his arm.

"Do you think she likes me?" He shudders.

Bucky makes a jokingly spluttering sound. "She likes all pretty blonds."

Flames light up on Gale’s cheeks. He can feel the heat rolling off his skin, mixing with Bucky's warmth because they're the same height and they're standing so close. Pretty... Bucky thinks he's pretty.

"But the question is, do you like her?" Bucky asks, and his voice sounds off. Clearly wanting her all to himself, which is fair enough, she's beautiful. It must be painful to pine for her when she doesn’t feel the same. Gale knows exactly how that feels, ever since his first day of this school year when he got seated next to the most fun person in their entire year.

"I don't." He replies. But I like you. I like you. I really, really -

"I think you dodged a bullet there." Bucky snorts, and something eases in him, makes him relax until he’s like water, loose in his body, confident and at ease while he’s with Gale. He throws an arm around Gale's shoulders and fishes his phone out of his pocket. His scent fills Gale's nose. "That reminds of this TikTok..."

As they lean over the small screen, their heads bend closer together, almost touching. If Gale was brave enough, if he thought he had even a morsel of a chance, he could turn a few degrees and kiss Bucky. His lips would be salty from the chips, he figures. Would there be a trace of soda sweetness there or only the salt?

He swallows, barely seeing the video, but he laughs along with Bucky. They fall silent, except for the occasional chuckle, as one clip plays after the other. Standing there alone at the kitchen counter, close enough in their loose half-embrace that Gale could convince himself for a moment that Bucky is his.

Oh, what a sweet daydream.

A text pops up on Bucky’s phone. It’s from someone named "Luis Vutton", misspelled like that.

'your round goes to Buck if youre not here in -5 minutes'

"Asshole." Bucky snickers and texts back a middle finger emoji. To Gale's disappointment, he pulls his arm back and takes a step away. "We're doing a FIFA tournament. I got you first, then Brady. Looks like he can’t wait to get his ass kicked by me."

Gale gives him a lopsided smile as he falls into step with him, walking back to the stairs. "What about you, ready to lose on your first game?"

Bucky grins at him. "Quite the confidence for someone who knows nothing about soccer."

"Shut up, I know plenty." Gale bumps into Bucky. It’s true - since Bucky befriended him, Gale has watched so many soccer games and read so many articles that he feels like he knows more than enough.

"Nerd." Bucky bumps him back. His comment doesn’t make much sense, but Gale's stomach flips all the same. "You're still up against the defending champion though."

"That so?"

Bucky hums as he starts descending the stairs. "I'm a natural. Got the hands for it."

He stops two steps down from Gale and turns to hold one of his palms up. Gale doesn’t even think about it, although he should have because he’s being weird, but he presses his own palm to Bucky's. His hand isn’t small at all, but the tips of his fingers only reach the last knuckle of Bucky's.

Bucky gives him a smile that's so amused and giddy that his eyes become half-moons. "See?"

"You comin', or what?" Brady’s voice calls, and they both drop their hands.

Bucky gives Gale a wink, then bounds down the stairs. Gale needs a deep breath before he’s ready to follow him.

If only daydreams came true!

[kinardnatural]

PULL-UP

BUCKTOMMY FLUFFEBRUARY DAY 3 - SPIDERMAN KISS

@bucktommyfluffebruary

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FLUFFEBRUARY DAY 3 - SPIDERMAN KISS

 Buck loves staring at his man. 

He loves shamelessly gazing at him with a hungry stare while Tommy is doing his work-out routine. He loves to see how flexible he is while doing said routine. A quick glance and no one would believe that a beefcake like Tommy would be able to move in such compromised angles, but Evan has seen it first hand and in various ways that didn't involve working out.  

There was a reason why Buck had been banned from Tommy's little gym set-up for that very reason, but that never seemed to stop him, nor did Tommy make any attempts to stop him either. So it was his fault, really, that he was being openly ogled at as he so very shirtlessly moves around like a goddamn acrobat to define every visible muscle on his body. 

He is doing it on purpose. Buck is sure of it. Because his moves seem deliberate in a specific way that makes it hard for Buck to avert his gaze from his all too hot boyfriend. How he have managed to land that total hunk of a man is beyond his comprehension, and yet. 

This isn't the typical set up one would expect at a typical gym. Next to the muay-thai ring is something that resembles a jungle-gym meant to train the physique of an adult. It isn't huge, there is only so much space the garage can take up, but it's got enough to get a few routines done, and Tommy is great at taking advantage of it. 

So Buck watches in fascination as Tommy so effortlessly jumps up at a high steel bar, strong enough to hold his weight and wraps his legs around it. He withdraws his palms from said bar and starts doing pull-ups.  

Buck makes a noise. Tommy pauses his movements and stares at Buck with a flirtatious smile. “Hi baby. Did you just get here?” 

“As if you didn't know”, Buck huffs in protest. Silly boyfriend. He knows exactly what he's doing. 

Tommy doesn't confirm or deny it, but laughs softly from where he is hanging upside down. “Well, don't just stand there. C'mere. Give me a kiss.” 

And who is Buck to deny him such a request when his boyfriend is holding out his arm, eager for a greeting. He approaches his man and stops once he's right in front of him. He has to squat down a bit to get to his level. 

“This is a weird angle”, he comments, but Tommy doesn't seem fazed. 

“That's the point. Ever seen Spiderman?” 

“Uh… I'm not sure.” 

“Oh, we are definitely watching it later. Kiss me, Evan.”

So Buck does. He leans in with a giddy smile on his face and presses his lips firmly on Tommy’s. It definitely feels weird, but not unpleasant. He pulls back and is met with the fondest smile on Tommy's face. 

“So how was that?” 

“Still better than fake mouth-static.” 

“Evan!”

[echowithpain]

Fyi I'm responding to @icecreampotluck 's reply on one of my posts and I didn't want to hide my response in the comments.

I sort of get that, and you can be mad at that all you want, but that's not the reason. Also that's not what I asked. See the main word I used in my post was "SUDDENLY"

"Why are people "SUDDENLY" getting upset"

If this was a problem people actually cared about, we would've seen it way sooner. Just look at how people have reacted to how the show's dealt with certain LGBT+ themes;

Some of the ways Athena was treating/acting towards Michael in season one, having Hen cheat on her wife with her ex, Josh becoming a freaking statistic when he tried a dating app and got assaulted

People were rightfully upset and vocal about it. And if that's not enough for you, what about the whole "forcing people to forgive their toxic parents" thing going on throughout the entire show?

Athena and her mother, Hen and her mother, Buck and his parents, Eddie and his parents, Chimney and his dad

When this stuff happened people were and still are very vocal and upset about redeeming shitty parents because the story said so. Hell, when the show first told us how shitty Buck and Maddie's parents were to Buck, people immediately went; "Fuck Margaret and Philip! Bobby and Athena are Buck's parents now!" And no one had a problem with that

If people really had a problem with Athena being considered Buck's mother because of racial portrayals they would've said so as far back as season 2 when Maddie got kidnapped and Athena had to keep an eye on Buck to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, arguably one of the first times she could be seen in a motherly light for him, and those people could have continued to be upset about it throughout the show whenever they had moments like that. But they didn't.

My question was, why is it now that the show's about to come back in, at the time of the original post it was a little under 2 weeks, were people deciding to get upset?

All that time, all those scenes, all those seasons, and not one person brought it up with it possibly being a problem. It's only now that the show's about to come back that it's suddenly an issue?

I call bullshit

Bonus:

Athena is never shown to be "eager and excited" to take care of Buck like a "mammy". She's always been shown as at least mildly annoyed but caring towards him

The closest I could possibly think of her acting like that is when she and Bobby have Buck over for dinner while he's off duty and trying to find a way back to work right before the lawsuit. Bobby comes clean about him being the reason Buck's not working and Athena is happily offering more food. But that's not being eager and excited, that's her knowing a storm is brewing and trying to deescalate the situation

That was at the beginning of season 3. We're about to start season 7.

So I'll ask again:

"Why are people SUDDENLY getting upset about Athena being considered Buck's mother?"

And I'll say this again:

"People just find reasons to be upset these days"

[laylawatermelon]

I didn't want to take away from Buck's new relationship because I'm honestly neutral about him dating Tommy, but I feel like it was a bit significant about the way Eddie mentioned going all in and not taking his time with relationships.

Those two always parallel each other (on purpose I'm watching you Minear), but I was thinking how directly after this was said he jumped straight in not for a formal second (or even first date) but to something so significant.

Like I'm not much of a dater but I know people who've been together (and are planning to be married or other such long term partnerships) for like months or years hesitate to invite people to stuff like that.

Buck is always eager to please and can sometimes get ahead of himself (impulsive ADHD kachow!) and I kind of feel the same way about this.

He's no longer on the wheel yes I agree, he's becoming more comfortable in himself, finding his label, and pursuing something that feels right for him.

He is much further and has been communicating with his significant other about problems he had and being honest. Huge jump from Taylor Kelly and the avoidance.

The only reason I feel a bit iffy (they are cute) is that if something bad happens in real life you usually wouldn't want pictures of your ex at your sister's literal wedding.

That will be up on mantels. Forever and ever.

But in Buck's case he's will most likely look at it fondly but I do think he's overcorrecting or jumping so many steps.

I just think it could've been in a lower risk environment because he can easily get stressed (along with Tommy because God they've been on -1 dates and he's meeting his ENTIRE family both chosen and biological it's been like about a month or so. But i will say it is very lgbt for him to jump steps 🤗) .

Along with the Hangover style shenanigans (which I love that classic franchise kiss kiss to wroters I will eat it up).

I'm just a bit uneasy and I'm not sure why.

I didn't hate the relationship but something keeps me tilting my head.

They are cute though.

[nsfwordwitch]

Kinktober 2023 Day 1

Theme: Pegging Pairing: Gale x female wood elf Tav 670 Words

🔞Adults Only Blog🔞

"My, it's…larger than I was expecting."

Sedda smirks at Gale. "You can handle it. Halsin's bigger, you know." He must have a skeptical look on his face because she hands it to him for closer inspection.

The phallus itself is made of polished wood, a rich dark brown. It's attached at the base to a leather harness. "You're sure Halsin's bigger?"

"Yeah, we've compared it before."

That embarrasses Gale, for some reason. He doesn't want to try to stack himself up against this thing. He doesn't relish being shown up by an object. He hands it back.

"Still interested?" she asks. She's dangling it off her pointer finger and looking at him with one raised eyebrow. Oh, so it's a challenge now. Wonderful.

He sighs. "Of course I am, love. Just…a little intimidated."

"I'll be gentle," she says, softly, a little teasingly, as she leans in to kiss him. His stomach flutters, and he sighs into her touch.

She leans him back on the bed, one hand on his neck and the other reaching between his legs. He opens them to her, and her fingers travel to his entrance. He whimpers into her mouth as one then two fingers plunge into him and gods, he feels like his chest is going to burst. He kisses her deeper, pulls her chest to his. She hums and fingers him deeper, getting more whimpers for her efforts.

Gale breaks the kiss, panting. "I'm ready, Sedda. I want you to…gods."

"You want me to what?" she breathes.

"Fuck me, please."

"There it is."

She pulls off of him and climbs off the bed to slip her legs through the harness. She sighs with satisfaction when she pulls the straps tight, then crawls back toward him. "It's a bit cold," she says.

"I can do something about that." He reaches between his legs to her and places two fingers on the head, then mutters a gentle heat spell. He feels it go from chilly to body temperature under his touch. He looks up at Sedda's face and finds she's staring at his hand, her breath getting heavy. His chest flutters, and without waiting for her to move, he grasps the head and guides it toward his entrance.

She gasps, then laughs, and catches herself on his knees. "So you're eager all of a sudden?"

"Yes," he breathes back, "I want you inside me."

She lets out a moan and leans forward, pressing into him. He cries out, some shock, some pain, but incredible pleasure. "Yes," he says, "that's it, just like that." He throws his head back while she fucks him, her hands under his ass, lifting him off the bed. He looks at her, takes in the flex of her stomach and effort in her brow, and is enraptured.

Sedda's grunts get louder and morph into breathy moans. With a jolt in his gut, Gale realizes—

"Sedda, are you–ah–about to come?"

"Yeah," she breathes, rolling her hips, grinding into him, "yeah, I'm gonna–ah!" She digs her nails into his skin, pressing deep into him, then slumps against his leg.

"Gods, Sedda, kiss me, please." She pulls out of him and he moans, and she falls forward onto his chest and kisses him deeply. When her stomach lands on his cock, surrounding it, he bucks into her instinctively. She reaches down and finishes him with her hand, her mouth still on his.

She rolls off of him and sighs. "Well done," she says, and pats him on the thigh.

"Well done me? Well done you! May I see the…?" he asks, gesturing at the phallus. She nods, and he undoes the buckles. She shimmies out of it and hands it to him. "I already have some ideas for ways to improve it. A self-warming charm, for one. And if it could self-lubricate? Then we'd really be in business."

"You really can't fuck without magic, huh?"

"Why would I when magic makes things more fun?"

She sighs, and kisses him to shut him up.

[beastsovrevelation]

I've been re-watching the scenes with mature Michael, trying to feel his character.

Because, I'm using him for the arranged marriage thing. His younger version would make more sense, if I'd keep canon timeline. As, the marriage is supposed to prevent the Apocalypse.

But, this is fanfiction, and mature Michael's really the version I'm eager to work with. So, 18 months could have passed as he prepared for the Apocalypse. Or something like it, the timeline in the show confuses me.

Younger Michael...

I'm not sure how old he's supposed to be, but he's still an angsty teen in the head. He'd be a nightmare in a marriage (especially political). And, he'd probably buck off against Satan's decision, at least at first.

Mature Michael is so much more intriguing.

He'd obey his father, trusting him despite the changed plans.

But, he's difficult to... Predict? Decode? I don't know how to call it. Thing is, I need to portray the actual connection between him and Mallory, and how his actions relate to it. So, I must get into his head. Which is really difficult. One of the reasons why I love him, actually.

I only know, he'd be possessive. Probably to the point of driving poor Mal nuts. "Skins anyone who dares look at his wife wrong" kind of possessive.

[youreavicioustrollop]

S2 E16: Bobby Begins Again

nooooooooooooo marcie's alive but their kids were DOA :((((((((( oh no, that's a priest by the bed. last rites? no, just a prayer. noooooooo she's asking about their kids and whether bobby came to save them! HE FUCKING TRIED!!!! somehow it's even sadder that their last conversation wasn't the fight, it was marcie in the hospital believing in him.

bobby almost dying :(((( imagining himself with his wife and children in the afterlife. :((((

dozens of code violations overlooked :((((( building codes are written in BLOOD.

"your punishment is that you lived" now that's a writer's line!!! absolutely wild that he's not fired for being an alcoholic/drug addict. although i guess there's no proof that he was high on the job.

oooooh, gotcha, he can't go into the field bc his team can't/doesn't trust him yet. so they transfer him to lafd????? wild

HEN WITH THE BETTING POOL!!!! this is fun banter. although fuck sal for saying that about the coasts. Chicago WILL kick your ass. also i am enjoying hen just walking all over tommy. (am i succeeding in not allowing my biases to cloud things or is this the one thing i cannot un-bias myself about? UNCLEAR)

they've had 6 captains in 2 years! island of misfit toys for retiring brass... Wild. what a setup for the 118 pre-bobby. AAAAAH, bobby calling them OUT and chim putting money on bobby!!!! looooove them. also love this montage of bobby's first (???) day.

LOL A CHICKEN. also lol, why and how are they making tommy look like such a loser this episode? also lol, bobby just handing athena a chicken.

BOBBY NO, NOT A BAR!!! awww, and this leads him to church.

"doing good work with good people" bobby this isn't bad!!!!

bobby's relationship with priests fascinates me. he's just chatting away, not really confession.

bro this fire looks rad as hell. some seriously cool television visuals.

see???? this pre-bobby station is full of jackasses. zero respect to their new captain. love chim stepping in between them.

BOBBYYYYYYYY hardass with good reasons. ah, but in the bobby hen conversation it's revealed that he's tough but fair!

it's So Wild that when it's hen, chimney, and tommy - tommy looks so bland and out of place. it's probably just because at this point i'm used to buck who is so Vibrant as a character filling that spot, but it's really impressive how tommy's got such a large speaking part in these begins episodes and he does not shine in any of them. like they really did just replace him with a better model (Buck)

"Cap's here, Cap's here" Chimney shimmying over saying that.... why are there not a million gifs? he's such a CUTIE

awww, chimney is currently unscarred and plans to remain that way! what a good nugget, considering chimney then receives an Iconic injury and scar.

BOBBY WITH HIS SHIRT HALF OFF IN THIS SCAR COMPARISON BIT!!!!!! DOES ARCHIVE DILFS KNOW ABOUT THIS???? also, tommy why the fuck do you need to pull your shirt off THAT MUCH to show your scar?

oooooooh, bobby and athena scene!!!!

ooooh, St Paul whitewashed Bobby's resume!!!

hang on, saint paul lore??? i have so many mixed feelings about saint paul, but this is such an interesting input

"grace is not something you earn or deserve, it is a divine gift" they MUST have a Catholic in this writer's room. not a latinx Catholic (judging by Eddie's later stuff), but someone who at least has done religious studies or likes diving into Catholic theology.

bobby cooking montage?? overall montage! aaaaaaah, bobby starting the family dinner tradition!

this church they shoot in is so pretty. not my personal aesthetic as far as churches go, but it's Very Nice.

lol, see, even the cake is bullying tommy! this episode says Tommy Is a Loser. is it bobby's POV saying that? funny if so.

EVAN BUCKLEY NEW RECRUIT!!!! he looks so nervous and unsure of himself!!! and also eager! i love him. baby. baby boy. :)))

ADORE that they make sure to mention that bobby's entitled to a union rep being present as well as how the panel is not a criminal investigation.

dislike that this is another cliffhanger, i really need to shower and go to bed, but how can i stop NOW??

[zepskies]

@lamentationsofalonelypotato Ooh yay!! I'm still loving this story, and after the last chapter, I've been very eager to see what happens next!

The aftermath of her trying to piece together her memories of her parents' death and her brother's betrayal is so heartbreaking. 😥 Like she's realizing that the narrative of her life was a lie, in a way. Hopefully she'll be able to reclaim the part of her past that was good and true with her parents, vs. the love and care she still has in her life through the people around her.

For some reason that particular image seemed to cling on to you and refused to fade. You'd never seen him look that way, almost… helpless and a little fearful. In all the time you'd known him, Ben had never looked at you that way. Sure you'd seen him proud, angry, cocky, lustful, mischievous, but never fearful. And you were sure that it wasn't an emotion that he was used to feeling, but that begged the question… why? Why was he looking at me like that? Why wouldn't he let me go? And what was he afraid of?

Lol GIRL. You KNOW WHY. You're just refusing to see it! But I could really see this moment in my head like a movie -- that look on Ben's face, watching her walk away. 💔

That little creature she created is interesting though. You really get a sense that she tapped into something in her powers that was before yet unexplored -- like she broke through a barrier without realizing and unlocked new depths within herself.

You wanted to feel his awkward shoulder pat and his awkward version of hand holding and you wanted to hear him try to tell you to "buck up" or whatever he thought that a comforting word should be. He's really not the best at that.

Loll he's really not. But the thing about Ben is, when he does make those gestures, you know it's coming from a place of sincerity because he doesn't soften himself easily.

"Shh. It's alright honey." She whispers, rubbing her hand over your back, her embrace steady and surprisingly strong. "Let's go home."

Aww I love her grandmother so much! At least someone in her family is in her corner. 😭

There was something or rather someone that should be here, but you didn't know what or who. And your mind supplied Annie, but you weren't sure that's who you meant.

I think we ALL know who you meant. 😂

I also love how you describe the "creative chaos" of her grandmother's house. The imagery in those paragraphs are so descriptive and lovely to imagine. I love especially: "boxes upon boxes of cookies in different stages of being packaged all over the counter." It's so grandmotherly and yet feels unique at the same time.

"Too late of course, but I'm a little rusty. I was able to warn Ben that Darren was coming back. That's how he got there so quickly or rather-" She shrugs sheepishly. "He got there in time to make sure that Darren didn't get you to forgive him. Which you shouldn't have at all, but I know he's always had a talent for manipulating you."

OOOOOH, MY GOD!! GRANDMA'S A SUPE TOO!! 😱😱 And it explains why Ben got there in the nick of time! And she already knew Darren was scum!!

Discovering more about her past as Soothsayer, as well as her friendship with Ben was so very interesting! I didn't see it coming and that's the best thing of all, but now it's a way her grandmother can relate to her even more -- as well as be in an even better position to give her advice when it comes to that man.

Tears crest and fall down your cheeks as you sit there, throat thickening. "I don't want to hurt Ben."

Heart...breaking... 😢 She's such a sweetheart. How can she not realize how much she cares about him (loves him)?

"He doesn't love me and Ben isn't afraid of anything." "He is. It might not look the same way on him as it does on everyone else, but if you pay close enough attention you can catch it." She hesitates. "And I think if you pay attention to you, you'll see what it is that you're afraid of too."

GRANDMA YESSSS, TELL HER!!! GET IT THROUGH HER HEAD! lolll

Ben isn't incapable of fear (or love), no matter how much he'd like to pretend. The way it comes out of him might "look different," through snappish anger and denial and rigidity, but it's still fear.

But the feet keep moving past the apartment and Ben sinks into the couch cushions. Even Bean seems to be disappointed. "It's alright buddy." Ben mutters. "She'll come back." But he wasn't sure.

Awww Benjamin, you're breaking my heart! 😭 But the fact that he went back to save Jake honestly speaks volumes! (Even if I did cackle my ass off at "What a fucking pussy.")

Ben didn't understand why he hated watching you cry.

Come on now, Ben. You're over 100 years old! Surely you get what's happening to you by now! 🤣🤣 You're simping for a girl you care about!

He wasn't sure if you'd noticed it yet, but you looked different too. There weren't as many lines on your face and your hair was more springy, the few silver hairs that Ben had noticed in passing were no longer there.

Oooh the plants are keeping her young, huh? 😏 Maybe enough to sync up her lifespan with Ben's???

"Di?" "Yes it's me. Who did you think it was? Santa Clause?" Your grandmother snarks. "Why are you calling me and why the fuck are you so mad? What did I do?" Ben answers slightly annoyed.

LMFAOO. Again, I love her. Kick his ass, Di! Get him in gear! "Try harder" -- INDEED.

"How is it that it's been forty fucking years and you're still able to dance on the grave of my last nerve?"

I'm deeeeeadd! I loved this line so much. 🤣🤣🤣 Benjamin is testing my patience too, good Lord. I can see why he's scared. He's on the verge of admitting he loves her -- and finally doing something about it. After his experience with Countess, that'll put anyone off of trying again to delve into a proper relationship (not to say their relationship was a proper example of a loving one, because it wasn't, obviously). Especially for someone like Ben, who struggles with real intimacy and dealing with his feelings, it makes sense that he'd digging his heels in now -- no matter how frustrating it is. 🙃🙃

But omg the cliffhanger though! Who just called him? My gut feeling is Stan Edgar, but I could be wrong lol. Can't wait to see how you close out this series! 💕

Chapter 14: Don't Be A Bundt Cake

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary:  When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you never expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you're around him the more you hate him, but you can't help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team.  (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Not in this chapter), Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Soft Ben/ Soldier Boy, Protective Ben/Soldier Boy, Miscommunication Trope

Word Count: 13.1K

Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+ because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), Swearing, Mentions of Sex, Sexual Innuendo, Talks of Death, DENIAL, Idiots in Love, Pining by the Reader (and SB, but he won't admit it) Depressing Thoughts, Mentions of sexual assault/rape (not detailed at all, really just in passing) Talks about weed, Sexist comments, Ben makes derogatory comments, Threatening Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: I am so sorry this one took me a bit longer. The writers block was fighting me the whole way, but we are very closely nearing the end of this series and the moment the reader and Ben stop being so stinkin' stubborn.

Reader POV

You lean your forehead against the cool window, watching the world flash by in a flurry of color. The wooded forests had vanished hours ago and all that was left were the yellowed sprawling fields of corn and grain and family farms that were laid sporadically along the interstate. Each one a little world that caught the flecks of golden sunlight as the sun began to peak above the horizon.

The bus rolled smooth and steady over the weathered pavement towards it's destination and was filled with an odd assortment of people young and old. There was man with a brightly colored parrot that had been singing "It's A Small World After All" since you left NYC, a woman with a little boy playing with an iPad and who refused to turn down the volume no matter how many times his mother asked him to, a group of teenagers a few seats up that continued to pass around a flask, and due to how far back you were sitting on the bus an uncomfortable smell emanated from the bathroom each time the door was opened.

But you didn't notice any of it.

The only thing on your mind were the events that happened almost twenty hours ago. They continued to circle your mind, playing over and over again like a perverted cassette tape making you sink further into the worn cloth covered seat at the back of the bus. The images were haunting, some new and some old, but all the more still horrible to re-live.

The song "Nights In White Satin" floating into the backseat of your family's car, the flash of unnatural light you knew was never lightning, the caskets at your parent's funeral covered in flowers that were much to pretty to lay on something so morbid, Elijah's body succumbing to the poppies that ripped him apart, the proud sneer on your brother's face when he admitted to killing your parents, Darren's broken and bloodied body strewn in pieces over the street with the creature standing over him with a dripping red maw, the ruined building that housed "Please Don't Die" reduced to nothing more than rubble, and the look on Ben's face when you turned your back on him and fled the scene.

For some reason that particular image seemed to cling on to you and refused to fade. You'd never seen him look that way, almost… helpless and a little fearful. In all the time you'd known him, Ben had never looked at you that way. Sure you'd seen him proud, angry, cocky, lustful, mischievous, but never fearful. And you were sure that it wasn't an emotion that he was used to feeling, but that begged the question… why?

Why was he looking at me like that? Why wouldn't he let me go? And what was he afraid of?

The creature curled in your lap snorts something in it's sleep, turning it’s head further into the cradle of your elbow to shut out the brilliant early morning sunlight. It was now the size of a toaster and had warranted several odd looks whenever you got off to change buses, but you didn't care.

You weren't sure about anything anymore. Everything your brother confessed to you made you feel like you were living a lie and the revelation of exactly what your powers could do- take life from plants to heal yourself, create whatever the hell it was on your lap, and speak to plants… it scared you.

You thought for so long that you knew everything about your powers, that you were in control, but now you weren't sure.

You felt different, as if something had unlocked deep down that you couldn't shut up again.

You'd felt different after you killed Elijah, but this was more alive, weaving and twisting in the pit of your stomach. You felt more connected to the earth, to the world outside the bus even though you were divided by glass and metal. You could feel the energy that thrummed through the body of the creature on your lap, bending to your will, the life force of the plants it was formed from molding with you, becoming a part of you.

You felt so different than the person you had been before Darren entered the shop, so uncertain, and there was only one place you wanted to be when you felt like this… home. You couldn't wait to run up the worn front steps of your grandmother's house and into her arms. She always knew what to say in times like this.

And you desperately needed the comfort of her embrace.

The phone in your pocket buzzes again and you flip the screen to see the ridiculous selfie Annie and you had taken on Halloween last year. The one that you'd both spent dressed up as the two brothers from your favorite paranormal tv show. It wasn't the first time she'd called. Annie had called and texted you more times than you could count over the past twenty hours but you didn't answer her. You didn’t want to.

It was the first time that you didn't want to talk to her, but talking to her meant that you'd have to re-live all of it again and you were clawing at the last shred of sanity you had left to keep it together.

The overwhelming waves of emotion kept pummeling you, dragging you deeper beneath the white surf. Each one brought the memories of what happened surging over you and were followed by everything that Darren said to you. Years of taking care of Darren and doing whatever he wished were tearing at your soul, years of giving up little things in your life to make him happy, and years of taking care of a man who you thought cared about you, but hated you enough to kill your parents and try to kill you too.

It made your skin crawl. Each time your brother told you that he loved you was an even bigger lie and now that you knew the truth and saw him for what he was, it felt like you were drowning. The darkness that ebbed just on the edge was begging you to leap into the abyss, but you were resisting the best you could.

The tears had stopped falling miles ago, but you couldn't stop the memories or the emotion that formed a cold ball in the pit of your stomach.

A sigh works it's way up and you pull your legs on the seat underneath you, jostling the creature on your lap that raises it's head for a moment to blink it's black eyes at you sleepily.

It was surprisingly docile right now, especially considering that twenty hours ago it had ripped your brother to shreds. In fact it seemed to understand how upset you were and had spent the better part of the last twenty hours rubbing it's head against your arm as if trying to bring you some comfort. It was settled on your lap, the weight of it a comfort, almost like a weighted plushy that gave you something to focus on.

"It's alright buddy." You whisper, scratching him under his chin. "We're almost home."

The phone in your jacket pocket buzzes again, but when you pull it out to turn it off, you catch a glimpse of the screen, and you hesitate. Because this time it's not Annie who's calling, it’s Ben.

The picture that flashes on the screen under the contact name "Gramps" is the picture of Mr. Fredrickson from Up. It always made you smile whenever he called you and you saw the picture because Ben did often remind you of him. He was certainly just as grumpy as Mr. Fredrickson and just as out of touch, but you thought it was cute.

Your thumb hovers over the answer button and you think about talking to him.

But what would I say?

You weren't sure what to say to him, or why you wanted to speak to him so badly, why you wanted him to be sitting here on the bus with you as you went home, and why you wanted him to hold you against his chest while you allowed yourself to break, but you did. You wanted to feel his awkward shoulder pat and his awkward version of hand holding and you wanted to hear him try to tell you to "buck up" or whatever he thought that a comforting word should be.

He's really not the best at that.

You smile to yourself at the memory of how he tried to comfort you back at the hospital, but the longer you sit there and look down at the picture on the screen the worse you feel.

Maybe that scared you more than your newfound powers, how much you were realizing that you needed him, how much you depended on him when things got too much for you to bear. The memory of him appearing as soon as you needed him back at the shop, another of him grabbing Darren and throwing him into the street as soon as Darren insulted you comes in a flash, and finally followed by the memory of Ben carrying you out of Elijah's office while you curled into his chest. You couldn't remember too much from that moment, in fact you'd thought that Ben had kissed you on top of your head, but you ascribed that to the haze of pain you'd been in from your broken arm.

What you did remember was how wonderfully warm he was after you'd been trapped in that damn freezer and how nice it felt to be in his arms. Another memory of Ben sleeping on the couch at the hospital bubbles up and you feel something in your chest begin to crack open. And you try your best to tell yourself the same thing that you always do when you feel like Ben might care more about you that he was letting on.

Ben doesn't want that. He's made it perfectly clear. He doesn't want a relationship. He's only wants one night, that's why he goes out with all those women-

You hesitate, thumb still hovering over the answer button as you do, the memory of the week you'd spent at the apartment with him flickering in the back of your mind. The week where he refused to leave you alone in the apartment, where he refused to do any jobs for Butcher, where he took care of you the best way he could, when he sat with you on the couch and made you laugh with his ridiculous movies, and the week where he hadn't had one date.

Your finger itched to answer the phone, but you couldn't, because you didn't want to feel this way about Ben, not when he'd told you countless times that you kept romanticizing him, not when he told you that he didn't want a relationship, and not when you could feel yourself beginning to fall for someone you thought was the wrong man.

For just a moment you tried to pretend that it was different, that he was different, but you didn't want to. It only made it hurt more.

The phone stops ringing, but the pit in your stomach still gapes open at you and for the first time in twenty hours you feel tears begin to fall. You didn't know why you were crying about this, why the thought of not picking up Ben's phone call seemed to hurt more than everything that had happened, but something made it hurt.

The bus driver announces over the overhead that you're reaching your final destination as he takes the exit for your hometown. The familiar buildings that line the streets are sheathed in a honeyed glow from the sun, the long shadow of the bus darkening them momentarily as it rumbles down the small streets to the bus station.

When it rumbles to a stop at the bus station you wait for everyone else to get off, trying to summon the strength to stand, and swipe the back of your hand across your face to rid yourself of the remaining tears.

The bus station was about a thirty minute walk from your grandmother's house, and you still hadn't called her. You didn't know what to say, didn't know how to tell her that Darren was dead and that he was the reason why your parents were dead.

The creature crawls up your body to drape it's warm body over the back of your neck as you stand. It wasn't bothering to hide, besides the people in your hometown already thought that you were odd because you were a supe and you'd always welcomed it. You give him a scratch on top of his head and his warm tongue flicks on the bottom of your earlobe as if thanking you before it curls further into the side of your neck, seeking warmth.

The first few steps on solid ground are shaky, but you find the strength while taking in a deep cleansing breath of the outside world, letting the gentle warmth of the sun and the tickle of the autumn breeze pull at your coat. You hadn't stopped at your apartment before coming here, instead you had stumbled your way to the bus station covered in dust, flecked in blood, and demanded the first ticket back to Illinois. It was lucky that the next bus was leaving immediately, because you didn’t want to spend another second in NYC, not when all you wanted was to be home.

Plus you were worried that someone had recorded what exactly happened outside the plant shop and you didn't want to get arrested.

It was self defense anyway. Maybe Jake would represent me in court.

The thought of Jake makes you twinge. You hadn't checked to see if he was alright before you ran from the scene. Not to mention you'd destroyed the shop he'd put all his life savings into after he stopped being a lawyer.

Oh fuck, what if he sues me? He can't exactly sue Darren…

You hear someone call your name and you open your eyes.

Your grandmother is standing in front of the same baby blue pickup truck that she'd had longer than you've been alive, wearing a long multicolored skirt and a pressed white blouse tucked elegantly into it. Her silver hair is loose and long, curling over her shoulders in gentle waves. She looks the same way she looked one week ago when she left, and you've never seen anything so beautiful in your life.

You're running before you can stop yourself, crumbling into her warm embrace, with more tears streaking down your face, but she doesn't mind.

"Shh. It's alright honey." She whispers, rubbing her hand over your back, her embrace steady and surprisingly strong. "Let's go home."

Her home is the same as it's always been. A two story Victorian house painted in a happy yellow shade, with a white wrap around porch and two white rocking chairs sitting empty on the front porch. You'd spent more nights than you could count rocking silently beside her with a crochet project in your lap listening to the rain fall and soak the world outside, while the plants sang praises with every gentle bend beneath the heavy droplets.

You could barely remember the home you spent in your early years with your parents, not when you'd spent most of your childhood spending the night here and after your parents died living here permanently. There was still a large oak tree were a wooden swing swung in the slight breeze on the left side of the yard, a gardenia bush that stretched as high as the second story on the right side of the house and brushed it's soft leaves against the sunshine colored outer walls, a garden filled with both flowering plants and herbs that perked up on both sides of the front yard as you walked up the path, and a cobblestone path that Annie and you had spent hours of your shared childhood covering in chalk art.

Neither of you were good, but when the rain would fall and smudge the clean lines, you'd jump in the puddles that pooled along the walkway singing the lyrics to ABBA's "Cassandra" not quite understanding what it meant.

Standing here outside your house made you miss Annie and feel worse about not calling or texting her back, but you didn't feel like talking about what happened and you were sure that Butcher filled her in. The only thing that you wanted was to collapse in your bedroom upstairs and curl under the comforters.

Despite everything the house was a welcome sight, but at the same time it was different. You could feel the plants calling out to you, asking for you, bending towards you just to touch your shoes as you walked by. You'd never felt so connected with them before, not even when you were in your apartment or working at the shop.  It was overwhelming.

And although a part of you was frightened by it, another part of you rejoiced in it. You didn't feel alone, didn't feel weak, and you knew that you never would ever again.

The creature nuzzled into the side of your neck with a sigh, soaking up the sun's healing rays as you walked up the front steps with your grandmother following behind you silently. She hadn't spoken since she picked you up at the bus station and you hadn't supplied anything in the ten minute car ride back to her house.

You didn't know where to start and you were still trying to process everything yourself.

The inside of her house was just as cozy and warm as it was the day you moved out. There were photos of your parents and you covering the walls (Darren's had been placed in the closet long ago), half-finished knitting projects sorted in different baskets on both the dining room table and the living room coffee table, spools of yarn were strewn over the couch sorted by color, and the fresh smell of gardenia wafted through the open windows on the breeze.

It was home. This was what you'd been missing the moment everything began to crash over you, but as you stood there in the familiar living room it felt like something was missing. Something tugged at the back of your mind, but you couldn't put your finger on it.

There was something or rather someone that should be here, but you didn't know what or who. And your mind supplied Annie, but you weren't sure that's who you meant.

"Let's have some tea." Your grandmother says from behind you and you feel her soft hands come down on your shoulders to steer you through the familiar creative chaos and into the large kitchen at the back of the house.

The kitchen isn't spared from the madness, it rarely was. There are boxes upon boxes of cookies in different stages of being packaged all over the counter, dirty bowls and a measuring cup stacked in the sink, and a large opened bag of chocolate chips spilling over the flour covered kitchen island.

It wasn't unusual to find the kitchen or the house in a state of chaos, your grandmother always said that a house should look lived in and that the mess was part of the fun of any major project as long as you were responsible enough to clean it up.

"Bake sale?" You ask as you sit down in the breakfast nook, uttering the first words that you'd said to another human being in twenty hours.

The next breath that you inhale was supposed to be cleansing, but you can still feel a weight pressing down on your chest, the same one that settled in the moment everything happened with Darren.

You contemplate again how you're going to tell her that Darren is dead and was the reason why your parents died.

Damn it Darren.

"Mhmm." She hums, filling the well used red kettle. "Annie's mother practically cornered me in the supermarket yesterday and begged me to make cookies. I love Annie, but her mother needs someone to pull that stick out of her ass. It's been up there for so long that I'm sure it's rotten."

The creature crawls down from your shoulders and down your arm to sniff at one of the chocolate chip cookies nearest you. It hadn't eaten since…

Darren.

You wince slightly at the thought and hope that you hadn't created something that needed and craved human flesh. The last thing you wanted to unleash on the world was Audry two especially in the wake of Homelander.

Truthfully you were waiting for the guilt at killing your brother to come, but it never had and you wondered if it ever would.

Probably not. He deserved that, he killed our parents, he tried to kill me, he tried to kill Ben.

The thought of Ben again makes a lump form in the back of your throat. You didn't know what was happening to you only that you felt guilty for leaving him like that, for yelling at him to let you go, and just vanishing on him when he probably thought that you were going back to the apartment.

He doesn't know where I am. Maybe that's why he tried to call, because he got back to the apartment and couldn't find me there and he was worried. You press your lips together. Yeah. Worried. Right.

"Honey?" Your grandmother says in a soothing voice

You look up from the box of chocolate chip cookies that you didn't remember picking up. Even the creature is looking at you with an expression that you can only explain as worry.

"Yeah?" Your voice shakes slightly.

She's leaning back against the counter, arms crossed over her chest, head tilted slightly to the side, her beautiful grayed hair pulled up in an elegant bun, but in her eyes you can see genuine concern. "Fuck." She sighs after a minute.

You blink in surprise. It was the first time that you'd ever heard her say that word in your entire life.

"I shouldn't have left." She breathes. "I told Ben to look out for you. I told him, that little bastard was bound to show up again and what did he do? He left you at that plant shop alone with no protection!"

You'd only seen her really angry a handful of times in your lifetime. Like you, your grandmother often had a gentle disposition and didn't get angry unless the situation called for it.

I mean, Darren admitted to killing our parents and then got fucking ripped apart. But how does she know about any of that? I haven't told her…

"How did you know that he left me there? Did Ben call you?" You ask putting down the box of cookies.

An odd expression crosses her face, as if she's contemplating something. "No." She hesitates again. "I saw it."

"No." Your grandmother hesitates. "I saw it."

"You saw it?" You repeat, confused.

What's going on?

"Too late of course, but I'm a little rusty. I was able to warn Ben that Darren was coming back. That's how he got there so quickly or rather-" She shrugs sheepishly. "He got there in time to make sure that Darren didn't get you to forgive him. Which you shouldn't have at all, but I know he's always had a talent for manipulating you."

"What?"

Is she saying what I think she's saying?

Instead of explaining further your grandmother walks out of the kitchen, leaving the kettle behind on the stove and you in a state of utter confusion.

Is she saying that she can see the future? Because that would mean that she's a supe and there's only one supe in history that I know of that can do that. A supe that no one has seen in over forty years.

You can hear her open the door to the closet under the stairs and the sound of her sifting through all the junk that the two of you had shoved in there over the years instead of finding the right place to put it.

When she comes back into the kitchen, she's holding a giant cardboard file box that you'd never paid attention to each time you opened the closet to find something. Your eyes shift from the box to her still not comprehending exactly what she was saying.

"I probably should have told you this a while ago, but…" She trails off and nods her head at the box before turning back to the kettle on the stove that has begun to scream. "I kept putting it off."

The box is old, worn at the edges, and theres a musty black fabric beneath a collection of yellowed photographs. You pull out the one on top to examine it.

Ben is standing there in his full Soldier Boy regalia outside of Vought tower and the woman standing next to him is Soothsayer. The outfit she wore was familiar, a black-skin tight suit with a blind fold tied over her eyes.

Soothsayer was a supe who could see the future and who was apart of Payback, a supe that had vanished a year before the mission in Nicaragua and no one knew where she went. There were rumors that she'd died and that she'd been a Russian spy, but you'd never believed them. You'd heard Butcher talk about how he tried to find her when he was trying to figure out what happened to Soldier Boy, but he never had. Said that the trail went cold.

But now you knew where she went, because she was standing directly in front of you.

She's Soothsayer? Holy fuck that's why Ben kept accusing her of cheating in the poker game because he knew that she could see the future.

"You were Soothsayer?" You gasp. "But why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me?"

She continues to measure the tea leaves. "I didn't tell anyone."

"Grandpa didn't know? But he was alive when you were a supe?"

Your grandfather had never spoken about a history with supes that you remember.

"No." She turns to look at you, a hurt expression crossing over her face for a minute. "Well, I know that I said I was going to have tea, but if we're going to talk about this I'm going to need something a little bit stronger."

Your grandmother opens a cabinet under the stove an pulls out an enormous bottle of scotch. Truth be told you'd never seen her drink more than just a glass of wine, to see her like this was about as shocking as seeing a polar bear sunning itself on a Florida beach.

"Do you still want the blueberry tea or do you need something a little stronger?" She looks back over her shoulder at you as she pulls down a glass for herself.

"I think I need something stronger." You answer honestly.

Learning about everything Darren had done was one thing, but finding out that your grandmother used to be a famous supe and that she never told you about it was another thing. It was like looking at another person. You'd always loved your grandmother's gentle way, her care for her community and her family soft, but now you weren't sure you really knew who she was.

She sits down across from you and hands you a glass of the amber colored liquid. There's a heavy silence that hangs between the two of you as she tries to find a way to start. The photo of her and Ben is laying on top of what you realize is her uniform inside the box and she smiles down at the photo, just a little twitch at the corner of her lips.

"I met Ben when I was twenty three years old." She begins taking a sip from the glass. "Legend 'discovered' me. I had the injection of Compound V maybe two years before that, not when I was born, but I hadn't gotten popular. Other powers were much more flashy and by then there were so many heroes coming out of the woodwork that someone with the ability to see the future didn't seem as marketable."

There's something reflected in her blue eyes, the same eyes your father had, that you can't place. "I had just moved to New York, I had no money, and the way I was getting it was by pretending to be a fortune teller and betting on some sports events on the side. It wasn't hard to prove that I could see the future, the past was more difficult, but Legend somehow stumbled into my shop and figured out that I was a supe. And he didn't think I was too bad looking so he helped me get big."

"You pretended to be a fortune teller?"

She snorts into her glass. "Mhmm. People really will believe anything if they're desperate enough and back then there was so much turmoil going on with Russia that people were scared and wanted to feel comforted. My job provided some of that."

"But why did you walk away from it if you were such a big hero." You ask. "Everyone knew your name, you were-"

Your grandmother raises an eyebrow at you and you fall silent so she can continue. "When I got onto Payback that's when everything exploded for me, the films, the commercials, the ridiculous ads." She sighs. "That's also when I met Ben."

You take a sip from the glass in front of you, sputtering slightly. It was stronger than you were expecting. "And you two were-"

Please don't say dating, please don't say dating, please don't say…

"Friends. Just friends." Diana sits back against the back of the breakfast nook, sinking into the navy blue pillows. "But he is almost as charming now as he was then."

You cringe at the thought of Ben coming on to a younger version of your grandmother.

She taps her glass with her index finger deep in thought. "But I think that I was the only person that Ben actually talked to, the only person that he was comfortable being around."

"What do you mean?" You ask confused. "Didn't he talk to Countess and to Legend?"

Her expression hardens at the mention of Countess's name. "He didn't talk to her the way he talked to me. Ben is difficult, he always has been and I think that most of the people he meet him write him off as this asshole with a chauvinistic look on the world, but he's not. At least, not all the time. There are so many people that he's met that are never willing to take a chance on him. To trust that there is really something beneath all of that bravado."

It was what you had been thinking for the past week, that there was more to Ben than he was willing to let people see, but you were slowly realizing that Ben was letting you see those parts. In the quiet moments at your shared apartment when he sat with you while you read or made you laugh or walked you to and from work you saw another side of Ben that you never saw when he was around anyone else. The guilt rises again when you think of how you ran from him, how you turned your back and left him standing there to clean up your mess.

I shouldn’t have done that, but it was all just so overwhelming and I didn't want to talk to anyone.

"I think that Ben is the most loyal friend I ever had. No one ever seems to believe me when I say that. That we were just friends, but nothing happened between us."

"You didn't date? Or sleep together?" You ask cautiously. It was difficult to imagine Ben being friends with a woman and not having a sexual relationship with her.

Well. We're friends, but that's different.

The last thing you wanted to think about was Ben and your grandmother having sex.

I would need so much therapy after that. You sigh. Yeah, because after all the shit I've been through and found out about my life in the last twenty hours, the knowledge that Ben fucked my grandmother is what's going to push me over the edge.

"No." She shakes her head with a small smile. "About a week after I met Ben, I was running late to a movie shoot and I stepped off the crosswalk without looking. There was a car coming and I didn't see it. Ironic isn't it?" She laughs at herself. "I can see the future and I didn't see a car coming, but your grandfather did and he grabbed the back of my jacket and yanked me onto the sidewalk, saved my life. And the second my eyes locked with his I saw our future. I saw our wedding, our first house, I saw our son take his first steps and I saw how much I would love him and how much he would love me." She clears her throat for a minute, her fingers tighten on the glass, and her gaze drops to the wedding ring on her left hand. “The future is never set in stone, it’s fluid. It morphs and shapes with your decisions, but in the future I saw, I was so happy. And I didn’t want to lose that.”

Your grandfather had passed a few years ago, but you knew it weighed on her everyday. She had spent the week after he died in her room not saying anything to anyone. And sometimes she'd look out the window into the backyard with an odd expression, but you knew that meant she was thinking of him.

Growing up you'd seen how in love the two of them were, more so than your parents. Seen the flowers your grandfather always brought home just because he was thinking of her, watched him do little things around the house without being asked, saw how they never walked away angry from one another, and seen the soppy expression he'd get when he watched your grandmother move around the kitchen baking with a grace that you'd never possessed.

You reach across the table to touch her hand and she takes it gratefully.

"I didn't want to tell him that I was a supe, and at the beginning I thought I could balance it all, but then Ben started dating Countess." She takes another sip from her glass. "She hated me."

"What? Why?" You ask. The creature crawls across the table to sniff at the glass in front of you, before it snorts and falls into your lap, curling into a ball.

"Countess was a bitch." Your grandmother says mirthlessly, her expression hardening. "She wanted to possess Ben completely. Only loved how famous he was, how popular it made her, and he threw himself at her feet, in his own way, not understanding that love didn’t look that way. He’s never had a good example of it in his life. And she never understood that Ben and I were just friends. By then I had been dating your grandfather for a few months and things were getting serious. It was about a year before everything that happened in Nicaragua."

She presses her lips together as if remembering what happened to Ben there. "She was jealous, possessive, and she came to me one night. Ben was out of town for a film so she knew we wouldn’t be interrupted. She threatened to tell your grandfather who I really was and threatened to kill him.” Her jaw sets. “My powers were never really as offensive as hers were. And she said that Ben wouldn’t ever protect me over her because he loved her and would do anything to make her happy. So I left and I never looked back.”

And here I thought I couldn't hate Countess any more than I did for what she did to Ben.

“You didn’t talk to him ever again?” You wonder out loud.

She left without telling him goodbye?

“There was the occasional phone call. Sometimes Ben would ask me to see who was going to win a ball game or something so he could make a few bucks. He stopped by to say hi a few times because he was in the neighborhood. One time he brought your father a baseball glove that was way too big for a one year old.” She snorts, the memory flashing in her eyes. “I always thought Ben would be a good dad some day. But I think seeing your father was when Ben realized how much he wanted to have kids. And I think seeing the way your grandfather treated me made him start to feel conflicted about Countess. But he respected that I walked away, he saw that I was happy.”

“But what about Nicaragua?"

A dark look crosses her face followed by something that looks suspiciously like guilt. “I saw what they were going to do to him.”

“What? But why didn't you tell him what they were planning? Why didn't you-"

"I tried." She snaps, shoulders tense, but then they drop. "I called Ben, but Stan answered. By then your father was turning two, your grandfather had opened up his practice, and Stan threatened me, he knew where we were and knew everything about us. So I kept my mouth shut and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

You could feel your heart breaking for her.

Ben was her best friend and she had to sit by and watch them do that to him. She saw what they were going to do and they were going to kill her for it, kill my family for it.

The anger that surges in your chest makes the creature in your lap stir and grow a few inches, but you tamp it down before it gets bigger than a small dog.

“Does Ben know?” You ask her to distract yourself.

You didn't want Ben to hate your grandmother for this, didn't want him to hate her for something that wasn't her fault.

She nods. “Yes. I told him everything.”

“When?”

“The moment I saw him in your hospital room. I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I wasn't expecting him to be there, but it all poured out of me. I was so surprised to see him there. I hadn't seen a future where he came back."

“Was he mad?”

I mean… he didn't seem mad when I woke up, not to mention he was upset when she left to come back to Illinois.

“Not at me.” She shakes her head. “He knew how much I wanted a normal life and how much I loved your grandfather. He doesn’t blame me for any of it.”

“Good. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

The glass in front of you is still more than half-full but you don't want to risk another sip of what you're sure is gasoline packaged to look like Scotch. Your grandmother reaches to pour herself another glass.

“I didn’t want to until you were ready.”

“And when would that be?”

Your grandmother shrugs. “Maybe on my deathbed.”

You weren't angry for her not telling you, more surprised, but now that you knew everything about her it was hard to see her the same way you had.

 You snort. “And no one knew?”

“Your dad figured it out.”

“How? When?”

“The moment you made that strawberry plant grow from your high chair.” She shakes her head with a smile. “It skipped a generation. Don’t know why, but you got it all somehow.”

“I was never injected?”

“No. That was a lie your father created. He knew that your grandfather didn't know and he knew that I didn't want your grandfather to know."

“Darren thought I was.”

“I know.”

At the mention of your brother's name, you watch her expression harden and she takes another swig from the glass in front of her, not flinching as the liquid goes down her throat.

“Did you see everything that happened?” You ask in a small voice.

You still weren't 100% sure how it was her powers worked, but you figured that she was able to see some of what Darren did and what he said.

“Yes.”

“You heard everything Darren said?"

“Yes.”

You chew the inside of your cheek for a minute hoping that she didn't take it as hard as you did. “Did you know that he killed them?”

“No.” She breathes, rolling the glass between her hands for a moment. “The night they died, I got a vision a few minutes before the car ran off the road. I was the one who called the police and who told them where to look, but I never saw that it was Darren or that it was anyone causing the accident. All I saw was the three of you in the car. I should have known.” Her voice breaks.

“It’s not your fault.” You squeeze her hand.

“And it’s not yours either.” She squeezes your hand back.

The memories are beginning to float up from the recesses of your mind and your teeth clench together as you try to keep them at bay.

“I know.” You breathe. The memory of the ruined shop flashes through your head. “I didn’t know that I could do something like that.” You gently touch your healed right arm and glance at the creature that is nibbling on the edge of the cardboard box with its sharp splinter-like teeth. “I feel so different and I don’t know how to go back to the way I was.”

“I don’t think you ever will.”

"Really?"

The thought was unwelcome. You were hoping that all of this was going to blow over, but you knew it wouldn't. Your powers had changed. There was an energy that thrummed in your veins now, stretching out of the house to the plants that grew in the garden. You could feel them all if you concentrated.

She frowns. “When you told me that you were working for Butcher I was worried about you getting involved in the supe world. I didn’t want that life for you, didn’t want you to suffer the way I did-“

“Was it really that bad?"

“Not all the time, just at the end. But I think that’s why I loved your grandfather so much. Because he was different than all the supes. He was down to earth, not just normal but-“ She shrugs. “I think Compound V does something to our minds, makes them more susceptible and when you’re surrounded by people using their powers and thinking that they’re gods it’s easy to lose who you are. I was glad I left when I did."

“Great." You huff, thinking about how your powers had grown exponentially since you killed your brother. It was scaring you to think that you would reach a point where you acted like Homelander, where you saw yourself as a god and killed anyone who stood in your way.

As tired as the stereotype of you only being able to make the flowers grow, you liked doing that. You liked healing plants, tending to them, and helping them grow. For you it had never been about using your powers the way that you had to kill Elijah and your brother and had always been about spreading a little more joy and love like your grandmother did with her kindness in her community.

Your mind flashes back to the first night that Ben stayed with you in your apartment and he'd asked you why you worked for Butcher and told you that he thought you "didn't fit."

Before you hadn't. You knew that. You weren't intimidating to look at or fueled by revenge or had a bone to pick with supes. You'd joined because you thought it was the right thing to do and because you wanted to be closer with Annie. She had been so involved in the supe world and you'd felt like you were losing your best friend. When in reality being at "Please Don't Die" was the only thing that felt natural for you.

You could feel yourself changing and you weren't sure that you wanted to and you weren't sure if you were changing for the better. Deep down you still felt like you, despite everything Darren had revealed, but your powers were greater than you'd thought they could be.

“No.” She squeezes your hand pulling you out of your head. “I don’t see you losing yourself in this.”

“You’ve seen-“ Your eyes widen.

“The future yeah.” Her lips twitch up at the ends in a smile. “It is what I do.”

“That’s so weird.”

You hadn't meant to say it, but you really didn't want to know too much about your future.

Well, not all that much. Maybe just a little.

“You of all people have no right to judge what’s weird. Not with Godzilla sitting in your lap.”

"Godzilla" yawns, flashing a mouthful of his pointy teeth, before settling back down on your thighs.

You smile for the first time in twenty hours, but then it drops. “I don’t like losing control. I thought I knew who I was but now I don’t-“ The emotions were bubbling up again, chest tightening, and lungs beginning to gasp for air. “I don’t know who I am anymore or what I am or what I can do and-“

“There’s nothing wrong with not being in control.”

“But what if I hurt someone? What if I kill-“ You body shakes as you think about all the important people in your life, Annie, Hughie, Butcher, Kimiko, MM, Frenchie- and then your mind stutters on Ben.

“Your powers are growing and there’s nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of. If you’re afraid of them it won’t get easier for you. You have to embrace the fear to see the lights that line the path through it.”

"I killed Darren, I killed Elijah-"

"Not because you lost control. You did it because you were protecting yourself and protecting your friends."

"But-"

"Who is it that you're scared of hurting? Annie?" Her expression turns sympathetic. "Annie is a supe and understands what it's like to lose control. None of us are in control all the time and it's ridiculous to believe that you won't lose control at least once."

Your throat clenches tightly, because when she asked the question you didn't see Annie's face, you saw Ben's. You knew that it was probably ridiculous to worry about hurting a guy with a nuclear reactor stuffed in his chest or a guy who'd been through every torture known to man, but you were. And you weren't entirely sure if you meant hurting him with just your powers.

Tears crest and fall down your cheeks as you sit there, throat thickening. "I don't want to hurt Ben."

"He's a little more indestructible than us sweetie." She cracks a smile, but you can't smile back and you don't answer because you're unsure how to.

She sits back against the breakfast nook and sighs, examining your face and slowly realizes what you mean. "Ben is complicated. He always has been. I like to think that most of it, is his father's fault. Has he told you anything about him?"

You shake your head.

"He was a dick. Made Ben think that he was a disappointment his whole life. I don't think that Ben has had someone love him unconditionally since his mother died. And loving Countess only made it worse for him. Her love was jealous, possessive, and I don't think that he's really come to terms with what real love should look like." She lets out a breath, tapping her index finger against the glass. "I never saw him as more than a friend, but I do love him. It's not a crime to love him."

"I don't love him." You say it immediately.

"Why not?"

"What?" You sputter. "I don't know what you're-"

"Tell me why you don't love him." Your grandma says methodically, as if she's trying to talk you through it.

"Because I-" The pressure was back in the back of your throat and you couldn't quite meet her eye. "Because-" You scramble for the answer, trying your darndest to keep your heart from clenching in your chest. "I want what you and grandpa had, what Annie and Hughie have, and what my parents had. A strong relationship with someone who sees all my flaws, the little parts, and the darkness and still choses to fall in love with me anyway. I don't want just one night I want every night. I want something real and Ben has said countless times that he-"

"So you've talked about it with Ben?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Only because he kept trying to sleep with me and I told him that I didn't want to have sex with him." You reply exasperated.

"You don't?"

"Gran!"

"What? He's attractive."

"It doesn't matter. None of it does. Because Ben has said that he doesn't have relationships, that he doesn't care about feelings, or emotions." Saying the words that Ben had told you countless times made something inside begin to shrivel up and die. "And I do. And I don't want to manipulate him into being something he's not or force him into a relationship that's doomed from the beginning. Ben is Ben. He's not changing or-"

"He has." She interrupts.

"What?"

"The Ben I saw in your hospital room is not the one I knew." She says it so matter of fact that makes it hard to breathe. "And neither was the one that I saw in your apartment when I stayed with you. I mean he is in essence Ben, but-"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He is changing. Not completely, but he's acting differently than when he was with Countess. I mean, I saw all the things he did for her. The way he was around her."

"Why does that matter?"

"Because he loved her."

The words make your heart seize in your chest. "Ben doesn't love me. He's my roommate and my friend-" It was the same thing that you kept telling yourself on repeat to beat back the other feelings that you hadn't quite identified yet. "And he's told me that he doesn't want a relationship and that I should try to meet other people."

That last part was a lie, but you honestly didn't know where she was going with this conversation or why it was getting so hard to breathe.

"Have you thought that maybe Ben doesn't want to love you because he's scared?"

"He doesn't love me and Ben isn't afraid of anything."

"He is. It might not look the same way on him as it does on everyone else, but if you pay close enough attention you can catch it." She hesitates. "And I think if you pay attention to you, you'll see what it is that you're afraid of too."

What does she mean? What the hell am I afraid of? Ben isn't afraid of anything, he's practically shouted that from the mountaintops like Julie Andrews.

"I already told you what I'm afraid of."

"I'm not talking about you hurting someone honey. There's something else that you refuse to admit to yourself because you're scared." She smiles sadly at you. "You should though, because when you embrace it, what comes after is really beautiful." There's a far off look in her eyes and you realize that she'd seen something further ahead that she wasn't letting on.

"And it's all I want for you. To be happy." Your grandmother stands from the other side of the booth "I think you need some rest. You drove all night long and I doubt you got any sleep. And I have to package all of these before Annie's mother calls down the four horsemen of the Apocalypse on me."

"Wait-"

"Please sweetie." She lays her hand down on your arm. "I think you'll feel a little better about all of this when you've had some rest." Her fingers raise to push back some of the hair that's fallen forward into your eyes. "Hmm?"

You didn't want to rest, you wanted to talk about this, but you knew better than to argue with her. Not to mention she was right, you hadn't slept.

"And when you wake up I'll make your favorite for dinner, alright?" She smiles, but there's something behind it that you can't place.

"Okay."

And this time you don't argue with her. You go up the worn staircase that you have your entire life and collapse onto your bed, wondering exactly what it was she saw your future hold, and what it is that you won't admit to yourself.

Soldier Boy POV

There was no light in the apartment save from the burning red tip of Ben's blunt and the bluish glow emanating from the tv that caught the dips and sharp edges of his face. But it was nothing more than background noise.

His hand absentmindedly stroked along Bean's back, his eyes focused on the ceiling above the couch. He hadn't moved in hours. It had been over twenty four hours since everything that happened at the plant shop, since you'd summoned a creature from the depths of the store, since Darren had thrown Ben through the plate glass windows of the bakery, and since Ben had last seen you.

He didn't understand why you hadn't let him take you back to the apartment and why it was that you had to leave. Ben hadn't liked the feeling that stabbed him in the chest when you turned your back on him and ran away. He'd felt the urge to comfort you the way he'd watched Hughie do for Annie in the car a week ago, but you hadn't let him.

Instead all he'd done is stood there and watched you run, still covered in dust, rubble, and blood. Worse was you hadn't let him check you for injuries and Ben hated the thought that you were hurt somewhere and he didn't know where you were.

You were so much more fragile than he was. He was realizing that more every day, was acutely aware of it after everything that happened with Elijah. Honestly, sitting there in the hospital with you laying there asleep with nothing that he could do, but wait for you to wake up had been agony. Not to mention that looking at the bruises around your throat, over your eye, and the bright green cast only made him feel worse. He'd never felt so helpless in his entire life and he hated it. Because Ben wasn't some helpless damsel in distress, he was a man and a man shouldn't wait on anyone or feel out of control, or at least, that's what he told himself.

Ben hears someone walk down the hallway outside the apartment and he perks up to listen, hoping that it's you finally coming home. Ben's mind stutters on the word "home." He'd lived many places in his life, apartments that felt more like way-stations, and the drafty cold mansion back in Philadelphia where he grew up, but neither felt like home. And although he hated how small your apartment was, it was the first place that Ben liked living in. He was starting to understand the word home.

But the feet keep moving past the apartment and Ben sinks into the couch cushions. Even Bean seems to be disappointed. "It's alright buddy." Ben mutters. "She'll come back."

But he wasn't sure.

Ben also wasn't used to feeling this way. It was close to the way that he felt when he went to Boston and was sitting in that damn hotel room waiting for something to happen and he still didn't understand what it meant. He didn't understand why he couldn't stand it that you weren't back yet. It made him feel like a woman waiting for her husband to get home from work when he told her that he was "running late." He'd tried to distract himself by looking at some possible prospects on Tinder, but just like the week after you'd come home from the hospital and just like the date he had in Boston, no one held any appeal.

His mind was awake and roaming around, pacing back and forth. The blunt was supposed to help, but it hadn't.

His phone chirps and Ben picks it up to look at the screen, but it's not you, it's Jake.

Jake: I know that I'm not your favorite person, but thank you for what you did.

Ben huffs and turns his phone face down on the couch once more. "What a fucking pussy."

When you left Ben had realized that Jake was still inside the building and as much as he wanted race after you, he understood that you'd be even more upset if you'd killed Jake. So Ben had tromped back through the building and found him trapped beneath some rubble. Jake was okay, just unconscious, but Ben had carried him out and put him on the sidewalk before he high tailed it out of there. The last thing that he wanted was to be caught with a shredded body outside a ruined building.

I didn't do it for him. I did it for her. Ben thinks to himself, looking down at the text message.

As much as he hated the thought of saving your future boyfriend, he didn't want to see what it did to you if you found out that you killed Jake, so he'd done it to avoid watching you cry again.

Ben didn't understand why he hated watching you cry.

Women cry. They're damn emotional all the time. He tries to reason with himself taking a puff from the blunt pinched between his thumb and forefinger. And she fucking cries way too much.

The image of you crying outside of the shop in the wake of everything that happened pricks something under his ribcage. Fuck.

Ben didn't feel remorse for what happened, well, the only thing he regretted was not getting there sooner and getting to fuck Darren up himself. When Diana had called him to tell him that Darren was coming, Ben had practically ripped the apartment door off in his haste to get back to you. He hadn’t wanted to leave you at the plant shop, but Butcher had told Ben, that he had a possible location for Darren, but it came up empty and Ben had been at Butcher's apartment chewing him out for sending him on a fucking wild goose chase.

It only made Ben more angry to allow Darren to speak to you, but he was trying to let you handle it even though he wanted to handle him. But it had brought him an unholy amount of joy to throw Darren in front of that minivan and to watch that creature tear him apart while the final whitish blue pulses of electricity jumped and crackled down the street making the streetlights shower sparks everywhere.

But Ben was more upset that Darren had been able to land a few hits on you before you killed him.

Ben remembered the giant lizard that crawled out of what was left of "Please Don't Die" and felt his lips quirk up into a smile. As much as he hated the entire situation, Ben couldn't help but feel a little surge of pride at what you'd done to your brother. He'd never seen you look so powerful standing there in the street, your eyes glowing a brilliant green, arms outstretched, and the ground trembling around you as the world begged to be unleashed.

Of course he'd been just as surprised as you were at the fact that you'd healed your broken arm. He wasn't sure if you'd noticed it yet, but you looked different too. There weren't as many lines on your face and your hair was more springy, the few silver hairs that Ben had noticed in passing were no longer there.

He wasn't sure what that meant, but there was something that felt suspiciously like hope tingling in his stomach, hope that you weren't as fragile anymore and hope that it meant you wouldn't die.

When Diana had told Ben that her husband had died, he saw the pain in her eyes when she said it, saw her relieving the memory, and for some reason as soon as she said that he was dead, the first thing Ben thought about was you. Ben hadn't considered his inability to age as much in the past, hadn't cared about outliving anyone before. Seeing Countess as an older woman had made him more aware of it. Looking at the woman who he once thought he loved, had showed him what that was like. Not that he had a problem with daring older women, Ben always thought that women really did get better with age, but it was what came next that Ben wasn't fond of.

And for some reason thinking that one day he'd wake up and see the marks of age on your face or one day he'd wake up and he wouldn't be able to annoy you or hear you yell at him made his chest tight.

Ben takes another hit of his blunt. The longer he sat there the more then unnatural feeling stirred in the pit of his stomach, thrumming through his veins, the feeling that he was trying to avoid. He thought that the joint would calm him down, but he found himself jumping at every creak and footstep in the apartment building, perking up each time and hoping that it was you coming home.

He didn't know where you were. You hadn't answered any of his texts or calls and Ben was ashamed at how many times that he had tried to call you.

Get a fucking grip. He'd thought to himself when he typed out another text message to send you, stopping himself from sending it.

But he'd been so desperate to hear from you that he'd actually gone to talk to Annie who seemed upset that she couldn't get ahold of you either. When Hughie and Annie had seen how upset Ben had been, Hughie had laid his hand on Ben's arm and told him not to worry. Ben had yelled at him that he "wasn't fucking worried and to mind his own business" and had shaken off Hughie's comforting hand before stomping out of the shared apartment.

No one else seemed to be as concerned about finding you. Butcher, MM, and Frenchie were all deeply involved in trying to figure out the cover-up for what happened outside the plant shop. By some miracle no one had caught a picture of your face, but there was little they could do about Darren's body that had been strewn across the street. Annie was having to deal with the repercussions at work, trying to handle what the news was calling a "super villain threat."

Personally, Ben thought that since they froze Homelander, the Seven looked weak and Ben believed that the superhero team that represented America shouldn't look weak. Of course before Ben had also thought that they looked like a bunch of pussies and again felt himself sink deeper into the couch when he thought about what his supposed son had become.

He shakes off the feelings he has about it and his thoughts turn back inevitably to you.

Ben wasn't used to thinking about someone as much as he thought of you, but each time he settled back into the apartment and you weren't there he was hyperaware of how quiet it was.

Maybe I should call Diana. She might know where she is.

As soon as Ben thinks that, his phone begins to ring, but Ben doesn't bother to look at who it is before he answers it. 

"Hello?" Ben huffs out a breath of smoke that hangs in the air in front of his face, catching in the bluish light coming from the television.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The voice on the other side of the line yells at him.

"Di?"

"Yes it's me. Who did you think it was? Santa Clause?" Your grandmother snarks.

"Why are you calling me and why the fuck are you so mad? What did I do?" Ben answers slightly annoyed.

As much as you got under his skin, your grandmother had been the same way. He actually thought that it was amusing that even before he figured out that she was your grandmother that he had often compared you to her in his mind. You had the same mannerisms, the same defiant and stubborn attitude that drove Ben up the wall, and you were just as beautiful as she was.

Ben was okay with admitting that he was attracted to you. To him that felt normal, it was the other feelings that he was conflicted about, the ones that he'd never felt before stirring in his chest that made him feel "too emotional" and "woman-like."

Truthfully, Ben was sure that if your grandmother had given him a shot that maybe he would have felt that way about her too. She was the only person that Ben actually trusted in the 80's, the only person that was brave enough to call him out on all his shit. You did that now. But he liked her husband also, so Ben was content with letting her go. He liked how happy that Henry, your grandfather, had made her. He knew that she wasn't happy as a supe and seeing her so happy and in love made Ben feel something that was close to happiness.

And it was seeing the way the two of them were together made Ben wonder if what he had with Countess was the same thing. Because he did have feelings about her that were different, but each time he went to visit Diana and saw your father playing on her lap he felt that there was something missing in his life.

It was the same way that he thought something was missing when you weren't in the apartment, but Ben hadn't realized that yet.

"Because I don't understand what the hell you're doing!" Diana replies and Ben honestly doesn't know why she's angry with him.

"About what?"

"My granddaughter."

Ben sits up the blunt in his fingertips forgotten. "Is she there with you?"

"Yes." Her voice softens for a moment.

Ben relaxes and leans back onto the couch, sighing in relief. "Good.  That's good." Relief swelled in his chest when he thought about you staying with her, safe.

That's what she meant when she said that she wanted to go home. Home is with her grandmother. Ben stopped the next thought before he could go there.

The thought that home wasn't with him.

Ben was trying not to think about that or think about you hating him. He didn't think you did, well, didn't think you did anymore. At first it really was touch and go, but now he was almost eighty percent sure after you'd told him more than once that you weren't afraid of him and didn’t hate him that you sometimes wanted him around.

"No, not good."

"What do you mean? Is she okay?" Ben's grip on the phone tightens so hard that he's sure that he hears the screen cracking.

"No."

"What happened?" Ben's voice is a growl, the feelings of relief evaporating as soon as they had begun to bloom in his chest. He mentally calculated how long it would take him to get to you.

"Her entire life fucking fell apart and where are you? Not here!"

Oh. Ben relaxed a little bit.

"I don't need to be there." He says on an exhale of smoke.

"Yes you do!" Diana presses.

"No, I don't. She a big girl she doesn't need me there, she's-" Ben takes a puff from the joint.

“If you were any denser you’d be a Bundt cake Benjamin!” She says exasperated.

"What the fuck are you talking about doll? I am not-"

“Let me guess." She interrupts and Ben can imagine her tapping her foot. He hated when she did that. "You’re moping around smoking a blunt on the couch probably with a glass of something that you're hoping to numb whatever the hell it is you're feeling."

Ben's eyes shift to the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table that he hadn't touched in a few minutes.

“I’m not fucking moping and stop spying on me!” He snaps back at Diana.

He hated how well she knew him. She was his best friend in the 80's through all the shit, she had seen him at his worst and at his best too many times to count.

“I don’t have to use my powers to know what you’re doing. I know you Ben.”

"Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart.” Ben grits his teeth, temper flaring hot. “But if you know me as well as you fucking say you do then you then you know that this is-“

“You avoiding your feelings by acting aloof and brooding like a fucked up version of Mr. Darcy.” She interrupts.

She certainly hasn't changed.

“I am not avoiding-“

“She needs you here Ben.” Diana stamps her foot, the same way you do when Ben pisses you off, and Ben can hear it.

“She doesn’t need me! She said that she wanted to go home, that she didn’t want to be here with me! I tried to-“ Ben shouts back standing up. It was the exact thing that he'd been thinking for the past twenty four hours, that you didn’t need him and that you didn't want to be any where near him.

That last thought made an uncomfortable sensation prickle in his gut when he thought it, because all it did was remind him of how you acted when the two of you first met, when you didn't want him to live with you and tried your darndest to make him go away.

He didn’t want to and he wasn't sure why that was.

“Try harder.” Diana interrupts him again and frankly it was pissing him off.

Ben clenches his jaw. “I think that you’ve confused me with someone else baby.”

“Don’t you 'baby' me Benjamin! We both know that you’re doing what you always do when things get hard for you.”

“And what’s that?”

“You pretend not to care and shut out everyone who tries to care for you. Not to mention you drown yourself in drugs, booze, and women.”

“She doesn’t care about me!” He spits.

“She does!” Diana snaps back. “And believe it or not she needs you here and she wants you here.”

"But-"

"Ben please." It was the first time that he'd heard Diana sound softer and almost pleading since the conversation started. "Don't do this to her. She's worth more than Countess and all those other women you've fallen into bed with."

"Do you really think I don't know that?" He roars. The answer surprises himself. "Do you think I don't know that she's different?"

Wait what?

"If you know that, then why aren't you here?"

He hesitates.

Everything you said to him the night of the party comes roaring back. You looking beautiful in a dress that made his throat tight, and you telling him that you just wanted to be friends and that you understood that he wasn't the type of guy to have relationships. He didn't understand why it stung a bit when you said that, but it had.

Ben thinks about the week that the two of you spent together after Diana went home, when he tried his best to take care of you, distract you from everything that happened with his movies, and would sit with you and try to make you laugh. He'd never wanted to take care of someone before.

Not to mention he kind of liked the way you laughed. He wouldn’t admit that to anyone, but each time you did, it made him want to laugh too. That had never happened to him before. But he wanted to make you laugh to forget everything that happened with Elijah. His fist clenches when he thinks of exactly what Elijah tried to do to you and it makes him feel so mad that he feels close to spontaneously combusting. Ben might not be the best role model when it came to women, but he couldn’t imagine the type of man who would force himself on someone else.

It had made him angry when he thought that you were suggesting that he would try something when he first moved in, because he wasn't that type of man.

Ben was trying to be better for you. He wasn't admitting that, but he really was trying to be better. He didn't understand why. You'd told him countless times that you didn’t want to be with him, that you wanted to be with someone else like Jake.

Ben frowns when he thinks about the man he'd pulled from the rubble of the shop. And again thinks to himself that you should be with someone different, someone who was a supe and could understand you. Ben had seen how difficult it was for Diana when she was keeping her supe life a secret from your grandfather and he didn't want you to have to do that with someone.

"Because I'm not-" Ben begins to say, but he holds his tongue. It was too honest, too raw, too unlike him to admit this to anyone.

Because I'm not this guy. Because I'm not the one she wants. Because I'm not some knight on a white horse. Because she's everything right with the world and I'm just a fucking asshole who sleeps on her couch.

"Ben." Diana breathes and he can practically hear her pinching the bridge of her nose. "In all the years I've known you, you've never done what you did for her with anyone else. You carried her out of that warehouse, you stayed with her in the hospital even after she woke up, you took care of her when she came home, you protected her from Darren. You can't ignore all those things."

"I'm not ignoring them. She's my friend." The word sours in his mouth as he says it. "And she would have done the same thing for me." He knew it was true.

She's a good person and she wouldn't let me chase her away if any of that shit happened to me and I told her to leave me alone.

"Yes she would. Because she cares about you." Diana sighs.

"She doesn't."

"Why don't you believe me?"

"Because she's told me what she wants!" Ben shouts so loudly he can feel the room shaking. "She wants to be friends-“

"Because she doesn't think that you want a relationship you nitwit!"

"I don't." Ben spits the words before he can stop them, but as he does something tightens at the base of his throat.

"How is it that it's been forty fucking years and you're still able to dance on the grave of my last nerve?"

Ben chuckles. "I missed you too sweetheart."

She sighs into the phone again making it crackle in Ben's ear. "She needs you.” Diana repeats. “And I think you need her too.”

His temper was flaring again, the thoughts that his father pressed into him surging up before he can stop the words. “I don’t need anyone. I’m Sol-“

“If you say that you’re Soldier Boy, I’m going to reach through this phone and slap you silly.” She snaps. “And you do need her, but you’re still just too stubborn to admit it.”

“I-“

“Ben I know that everything that happened with Countess was fucked up, but my granddaughter she-“ Diana pauses before she changes the thought.  “You say that you know she’s different, but right now you’re treating her the same way you treat all those other women.”

“I’m not-“

“My granddaughter has decided you’re important to her and once that’s happened it’s hard to make her let go. You saw the way she was with Darren and that guy was a manipulative asshole. Imagine what she thinks of you.”

“I-“

“Stop making excuses!”

“You didn’t even hear what I was going to say!” Ben shouts.

“And I don’t need to! Think what you want Ben but if you’d stop acting so stubborn and so ridiculously blind to what’s right in front of you. I promise that what comes next is worth the risk.”

“Don’t go all fucking mystical on me doll.”

“And don’t go all macho- no feelings asshole on me! So stop being so damn stubborn, get on a plane and get your ass here.” She retorts. “Don’t fuck this up Benjamin because if you do I’ll fuck you up.”

The line goes dead.

Ben sat there for a minute in the silence still holding the phone up to his ear, listening to what your grandmother said to him ring around in his head for a second.

No one ever spoke to him that way. In fact, Ben had never allowed anyone to speak to him the way that she did, well, not until you came along. You reminded him so much of her that it was astounding and he wasn't going to admit that maybe it's why he liked being around you so much.

Ben frowns at what Diana said, thinking about the unusual feelings that were swirling in the pit of his stomach. He felt wrong and the feelings were odd for him. He hadn't felt anything remotely like this ever in his life, not even for Countess.

And although Ben refused to be afraid of anything, the feelings he was having scared him. He didn’t understand and he wasn't sure that he wanted to. He wasn't sure that he wanted to see where this ended up. He felt like he was in too deep.

As much as he wanted to go to you like Diana ordered him to, he wasn't sure that he should. Something was holding him back, digging it's heels in and refusing to budge.

But why do I feel like-

His phone rings and he doesn't look at the caller ID when he picks up, expecting it to be Diana again, yelling at him.

"Di I-"

But it's not Diana.

"Hello Ben. It's nice to hear your voice again." The familiar voice says, sounding calm and collected.

"What the fuck do you want?" Ben snarls.

 "I thought it was time the two of us had a chat.”

A/N: At this point Diana is really just trying to give both Ben and the reader the kick in the pants they need. And yes I know another cliffhanger, but you know you love it. 🤭😉 We are quickly reaching the end of this series, but that means the confession scene is coming and I am so excited about it!!

As always thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, likes, and comments are not required, but are always appreciated. I love hearing what y'all think! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series let me know. 😊

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[chronicowboy]

Buck doesn't even question it when he pulls up to Eddie's house instead of his own apartment block. He has the go-ahead to return to work, but for some reason, the relieved joy he'd expected has been buried under a confusing mudslide of emotions that make his head hurt if he looks at them too closely.

He tells himself he's at Eddie's because he's returning the favour, paying him back for last year when Eddie had showed up on his doorstep with a six pack, a grin and his transfer back to the 118 paperwork.

Buck doesn't have a six pack, or a grin, or a vague date for his return because he hadn't even told Bobby about his cardiologist appointment today for fear of the news awaiting him.

But he knocks on Eddie's door anyway because he may be just Buck, but that's enough. Its always been enough at the Diaz house, and maybe that's what he should be appreciating after everything.

The smile Eddie gives him when the door cracks open is enough to ease most of the tightness in his chest. He remembers a similar smile two nights ago, the way it had blossomed so softly on Eddie's face, how it had lit up his eyes and rosied the apples of his cheeks.

Yeah, he's enough here.

"Dr Salazar told me to ask you how her diagnosis of repression was holding up," Buck says, pushing past Eddie, eager for the warmth of the living room. "She told me you'd know what that meant."

"You really need to learn to say hello," Eddie grumbles good-naturedly as Buck drops onto the couch with a blissful sigh. Buck cranes his head in time to watch Eddie's face do something complicated. "Wait, what'd she say?"

"She asked how her repression diagnosis was going," Buck sounds out slowly.

"Motherfucker," Eddie hisses to himself. Buck watches rapt as his cheeks fill with colour.

"Yeah, do I get to know what that means?"

Eddie meets his eyes, and Buck wonders if she was a bit too hasty in her dismissal of him because his heart does something worrying in his chest at the dizzying intensity of emotion on Eddie's face.

"Not yet," he murmurs. It sounds like a promise.

Buck swallows past the lump in his throat.

"Wait, you had an appointment today?" Eddie drops onto the coffee table in front of him, a beautiful concern simmering in his eyes. Buck flushes at the attention. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Buck nods, "I am more than okay. In fact, I'm so okay that I am free to return to work whenever I please."

"Okay..." Eddie squints at him. "Why do I feel like you're about to make our quitting the 118 score two-one?"

"I'm not quitting the 118," Buck sighs. "Not again."

"But?" Eddie prods gently.

"But," Buck drags a hand down his face, "I don't know if I'm quite ready to come back yet." He thinks he must be imagining the slight sag of Eddie's shoulders, can't help but wonder if its disappointment or relief if he wasn't imagining it.

"Its a big step after something like this," Eddie concedes.

"After your shoulder, you got cleared with Frank one day, and had a return to work date the next."

"Yeah, and we all remember how that turned out," Eddie snorts.

"Fair enough."

"Its natural to take a bit of time when you aren't ignoring absolutely every warning sign your body is sending you," Eddie tells him. "Bobby will hold your place for you, you know that. Hell, he'd hold it for a decade if he had to. And I might be a bit bummed without my partner around, but I'll live if its so he can take care of himself." Eddie's voice is unbearably soft in a way that makes Buck's skin crawl, its been doing that a lot around Eddie since he woke up. "Besides, I'm sure he'll be drinking my beer and crashing on my couch most nights anyway." Rolling his eyes, Buck huffs a laugh.

"It just feels weird, you know?" He shrugs a shoulder. "After my leg, I fought so hard to get back."

"Yeah, I remember," Eddie says dryly.

"Shut up." Buck shakes his head. "I fought so hard to come back and now I'm being told I can and I just..."

"It feels too easy?"

"Yeah."

"Buck, you're so used to fighting." Eddie shuffles a little closer, and Buck does his best not to flinch at the spark that jolts through him when their knees knock together. "For everything. Ever since you were a kid, you were fighting for everything everyone else just had handed to them. Its hard to shake off a lifelong habit." Eddie tilts his head to catch Buck's eye, he was unaware they'd wandered away from Eddie's determined face. "But last time was different. You know that. You were different."

And Buck knows what he means. That Buck seems so drastically different to the Buck he is now, whatever software update he's at. The Buck who tied his worth to firefighting, who had no identity outside of it, who felt like he was always one step away from being left behind.

But he's also not convinced he's all that different. Firefighting is still his life. He has maybe one or two friends outside of the 118 family. And, yes, he knows that they're a family now, knows that not one of them would leave him behind. The past week has been proof of that. But who is he outside of the firehouse?

"I don't think I really know who I am when I'm not fighting fires," Buck whispers to the carpet.

It feels a lot like a shock of lightning when Eddie uses his pointer finger to nudge Buck's chin up.

"You're Buck," Eddie nods, conviction dripping from him.

And that's enough?

"You're an amazing firefighter, yes," Eddie's hand is still on his chin. "But you're an even better brother to Maddie and Hen and Chim. You're an incredible uncle to an incredible niece. You're the best of friends. You're Christopher's..." Here, Eddie pauses. Buck's heart thumps. "You're Christopher's," Eddie says decisively. "But more than all of that, you're Buck. And maybe that's all you need to be."

Buck grits his teeth when the familiar sting of tears has him squeezing his eyes shut. He takes a few steadying breaths, the ones the lung specialist had taught him when he could finally keep his eyes open for more than ten minutes. With every expansion of his lungs, it feels like his heart grows a little bigger too.

The bravery hits him out of nowhere.

"To Maddie, Hen and Chim, huh?" he asks, meeting Eddie's eyes. "What am I to you, Eddie?"

"Not yet," Eddie says softly. "Not just yet."

And Buck thinks he doesn't mind waiting for this answer.

[buckybarnesdiaries]

a piece of cake

© @jamesbrnes

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Something happens at Shuri's birthday party that leads to a heated fight.

word count: 3k words. (fuck, it worth every damn word)

warnings/tags: nsfw, +18!!! angry jealous sex, let's start there. unprotected sex, oral sex (face fucking and ridding), fingering, brief daddy!kink, brief praise!kink, language, cursing, handcuffing, mention of bodily fluids, and probably i'm forgetting something else, i just lost my mind. bucky being the cutest and loving man on earth at the end.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

join the tag list here.

You had never been so quiet, but you knew that opening your mouth only could cause a storm inside the car, on your way back home. Believing you could have a pinch of luck, Bucky wouldn't notice that something was raving you mad since the moment you watched him letting another woman give him a spoon of cake. Straight to his mouth. You almost choked on your drink, talking to Shuri about how excited she was to celebrate her birthday in New York, when you witnessed the scene hearing their laughs and watching how they dared to touch his metal arm constantly. Your boyfriend was talking with some of his old friends from Wakanda, not even knowing he made friends there. He never said a word about it. Even so, they didn't have the right to flirt with him. Unless he didn't say anything about you.

But Bucky wasn't stupid. Or at least, not like you thought. Gazing you by the corners of his blue eyes, he was conscious that something was going wrong. He licked his upper lip briefly, slowly. He tasted the waters putting a hand on your thigh, which was your favorite gesture while he was driving, deriving with your fingers laced and him placing kisses on the back of your hand. But you didn't move an inch, still staring through the copilot's window with your elbow nailed there and your chin resting on your knuckles.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing”.

Your passive tone and the lie as a response caused him to frown, pulling over the car to focus on you. He turned on his seat and placed a hand behind the headrest of yours.

“Spit it”.

You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow ironically, looking at him for a second. If he had to ask it was because he wasn't really seeing the dilemma there.

“I'm just tired and I wanna go home, James. That's all”.

James. James. You did it unconsciously, but he didn't take it as an innocent manner of calling him. Unexpressive, the soldier joined the highway driving faster than he used to. You had pissed him off, but it wasn't your problem. He had hurt your feelings with something he didn't give any importance to. The only thing you wanted was to take a shower, put on your comfier pajamas and go to sleep, probably you'd see tomorrow that situation differently than today and you could move on from your insecurities and the jealousy running through your veins.

You arrived at your apartment in record time, keeping the car inside the parking under the building. You removed the seat belt to wear your leather jacket and grab your purse on your feet, stepping out when you were ready. But Bucky stayed inside, just turning off the engine. He didn't have any intention of leaving it, maintaining his hands tightly gripped around the wheel. You ignored him as soon as you couldn't pretend you were just tired anymore. It was the first time something like that happened and you were having a strong desire to throw your guts up.

Three minutes later you were under the warm water with your forehead resting against the cold wall and your eyes closed. Maybe you were overreacting and the rational, mature behavior would be to go to talk with him, tell your boyfriend what made you feel upset. Sighing as you nodded two times, determined to put the cards on the table, you shut off the faucet and walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

“Oh, fucking hell!” You growled because of the scare of your life when you found Bucky already in your shared room.

He had his back supported on the wall, a leg flexed, and his hands behind himself. No expression on his face, but expecting an explanation from you. You were hoping for something from him too, maybe I don't know what I've done to make you feel like that, can you give me a clue? He just stared at you in silence, drying the pearls of water decorating your body before wearing a pair of black panties and your forgotten pajamas instead of one of his t-shirts impregnated on his scent.

“Com'ere”. Bucky whispered, stretching his flesh hand on air when you were about to go to sleep.

“No”.

Well, that wasn't the proper way to talk like grown adults. You crossed both arms on your chest, standing next to your side of the bed.

“What'd you say?” He squinted incredulous, slowly standing from the wall, pretending you hadn't uttered that word.

“I said no, you fucking punk”.

“The hell d'you think you're talking to, darling?”

“To the cretin who let other women flirt and touch him”. You replied with evident annoyance. “Why don't you go to show them your daddy's skills, uh? Sure I can find someone who respects me in the meantime”.

Suddenly, a grimace you hadn't seen before on him appeared like a thunderbolt. You weren't sure if you just made him feel more furious or if you just broke his heart. But before you could figure it out, Bucky shorted the distance between both in two fast strides and his hands gripped your throat and the back of your neck respectively, pinning you to the closest wall and tossing the lamp on your nightstand to the floor. You complained slightly —with his tongue wildly invading your mouth— because of the strength he used to put you against the wall.

You tried to push him away, to not fall into his charmings, but he made your mind blank when his fingers were firmly nailed in your ass and his body was accommodated between your legs. Your fiery provoked a bulge under his pants so painful that in every rock against your core he wasn't sure if it hurt or if it was some kind of pleasure he couldn't handle. Out of breath, Bucky attacked your neck, digging his teeth in your neck with so much passion that you screamed delighted his full name while pulling his hair. That gesture drove him insane, losing the less sanity he had at that point. With just a push, your boyfriend ripped off your shirt to strip you, in anticipation of your panties suffering the same fate.

Bucky threw you to the mattress on your abdomen, perfectly positioned to what was about to happen. He was so eager, so desperate for showing you what he was feeling that he didn't lose time taking off his clothes, just undoing his belt and unzipping his jeans to pull them down to his ankles along his boxers. You heard him spitting in his hand to use it as lube, although you were sufficiently soaked and ready for your Buck that neither of you needed his saliva. He rammed his dolorous erection into your cunt, crashing his pelvis and pressing it against your ass with all his strength, causing you to drown a loud cry in the sheets.

Tangling his fingers with yours and lacing your arms around your neck, putting all his weight onto your back, Bucky pounded you with an insanely quick rhythm, not giving you any chance to mold your throbbing walls around his length. Your pleased vocals echoed inside your room in total sync with the hits to your g-spot. Your body received with every one of them soft cramps mixed with pain and pleasure, making you roll your eyes and tear your throat.

“'S that wh— what you wanted, uh?” Bucky snarled against the back of your neck, totally gone, not giving you a break or showing any mercy.

“Fuck, no…” You replied, challenging him.

He swallowed a rough moan, wrapping his cold fingers around your throat while using the other to pull back your hair and arch your body. “Don' fucking… lie to me, doll… You wan— wanted your daddy to make you… feel desired over tho— those women”.

And yes, he was right. More or less. But you didn't expect him to react like that. Bucky was rabidly fucking you, moving the bed from its position with every angry thrust into your pussy. You knew you weren't going to last for too long if he continued impaling you against the mattress, just like that. But you both had to recognize that it was the best session of sex of your life.

“You were… fucking mad watch— watching 'em touch my arm… your arm, right?”

You whined at the brutality he used to push his hard cock beyond your limits, holding it there as he tilted your head to crash his lips on yours. Bucky devoured them until they were shiny, swollen, slightly ached because of the bit he left on your bottom one.

“If you don't tell me… the truth… I swear I'm not gonna let you come”. The whisper fell into your ear with such a raspy tone of voice, conscious of him being very capable.

“It was… your fucking fault, James. Not… Not mine”. You grunted, feeling him going a little deeper. “I di— didn't let anybody flirt with me… as if you didn't exist”.

That was the truth, but the wrong answer for him. Suddenly, Bucky pulled out his dick covered in your arousal, freeing you from any grip. A pause that only lasted the time he took to grab the handcuffs from your nightstand to place them in your wrists and secure them around the headboard. Now you were under his total control, defying him by strongly closing your legs and frowning at him, panting and sweating.

“Lemme tell you something”. Your boyfriend said, dangerously crawling over the bed till reaching your knees and forcing them to be separated, wide spread for him. “If you think I was flirting, but you didn't see… how uncomfortable I was… This situation is not my fault”.

The tables were turned as he finished his sentence, settling himself between your legs yet kneeling to raise your ass above his lap. “Not so mouthy now, are you, doll?”

You wanted to speak back, to say something after having a second to reconsider the reason why you were so angrier at him when Bucky pushed you down and rammed his dick back to the place it belonged. You forced unconsciously your hands gripped, wanting to put them on him —wherever—. As soon as he handcuffed you, your desire for touching him used to be suffocating. But you were the one who played from the start, instead of telling him how you were feeling about that situation at Shuri's party.

Bucky didn't even let you kiss him, stabilizing you on top with an arm around your waist and his cold hand holding the back of your head. His hips rocked straight to your g-spot once and once, making you lose any kind of control over your body as your boyfriend didn't have any compassion, needing to find relief to his sorrowful erection by cumming inside your clenching walls. You were driving him crazy, maintaining your eye contact at all moments and almost drinking your delighted, obscene crying, aware that only him could cause you to be so dirty.

“Feels good, uh…? You like it?” Your boyfriend brushed your lips with his, depriving you of his kisses or any other touch. “Bec— 'cause you take your daddy... so damn good, baby girl… So tight… so tight you could kill me”.

“Yes, da— daddy”. You whimpered nodding your head. “Only you… can fuck me li— like that… Only you”.

“That's it… that's it, oh, fuck… fuck, doll”.

You saw him roll that pair of beautiful blue eyes to the back of his head, feeling Bucky's thighs tensing under your legs. You didn't want anything else than making him cum, after overthinking about how he felt, and not about what you witnessed. He was right, more or less. He was still being so innocent in those kinds of situations that he used to feel like a scared kid.

You suddenly fell back to reality when the emptiness sensation invaded you. Bucky pulled out his length from you again, causing you to beg in silence for not denying you the orgasm you were about to reach. But he warned you. Bucky asked you to tell him the truth and you chose to challenge him. Letting you sit on the mattress, he flexed a leg to guide his twitching cock to your mouth, not needing to tell you what he wanted you to do. You just parted your lips, receiving him without protesting, curling your fingers when he forced your limits, and positioned both hands on your head. Twirling your tongue around his base as you could, with your cavity completely invaded, Bucky provoked you a strong gag. A gesture that led to his warm seed being spilled down your throat.

“Fuck my life, baby girl!” He couldn't help but howl driven by the pleasure as you coughed and made vibrate his sensitive skin.

Just holding his dick trapped by your lips for a second, he freed your mouth, taking his time to admire you swallowing his cum and showing afterward your tongue. God, you looked so beautiful disheveled, with teary eyes and swollen lips because of the effort.

“Want me to tell you something else?” Bucky asked while cleaning the sweat in his forehead with the back of his arm, taking the small key to liberating you with his free hand.

You didn't reply, not needing to, as he rubbed your wrists to comfort your skin before lying by your side.

“Com'ere”. He whispered, yet trying to recover your breathings. Bucky wrapped you with his flesh arm, rubbing his iron fingers up and down your tense belly, creating a contrast that caused you goosebumps. “'M so sorry for making you feel like that”.

He kissed you. Slowly, passionate, tasting his own juices mixed with your saliva. Caressing your tongue with the tip of his, and no rush. You felt his digits touring down your skin, till finding your throbbing and needed clit. You weren't able to hold back a sweet moan when he circled his fingertip over your sensible pearl, gladly drinking your vocals.

“When I wanted to react… she was putting that damn spoon into my mouth. It felt horrible, doll, I promise”. He murmured, venturing his long cold finger to part your folds and sink it inside you —moaning at the fulfill sensation—. “You always save me from those awkward situations… but you were having fun with Shuri and I didn't want to interrupt you”.

You were feeling like shit, looking at him through your eyelids as he curved a second finger into your cunt and increased the pace of the pounds with his hand made of vibranium. Bucky spread some gentle kisses all around your face, ending with a tender bite to your lips.

“When you told me you wanted to go home, I felt a huge relief… 'Cause that was everything I wanted. Go home with you. Maybe watch a movie… cuddle… fall asleep on the sofa”.

“Oh, God, Bucky”. You wept onto his mouth, as soon as a third finger filled you, nailing his hand in the perfect position to be moved up and down. “I'm so— sorry, Buck… I'm sorry”.

“Fuck, no”. He let out, thrusting you harder, faster, creating a melody of filthy sloppy sounds while your moans were louder and louder. “I should stop 'em, I didn't… I didn't. But I respect you more than anything, doll… I love you with all my heart. I care 'bout you, 'bout your feelings… Can you forgive me? Can you… Can you cum for me?”

You nodded your head running out of words, seeing your boyfriend snaking his body down the bed to between your shaky legs, yet having his fingers knuckles deep inside you. “Keep 'em open for your man”.

The blow to your abused cunt provoked you a lash up to your backbone, landing your hands on his head as Bucky sank his face straight to your center. His digits fucked you savagely, while his tongue took control of your swollen pearl —sucking, licking, kissing, pulling it back—. He wasn't going to deny that pleasure to you, quite the opposite. You pressed unconsciously his face a little closer to your pussy, swinging your hips and riding his mouth when his caresses and his pushes became too much for you.

Bucky made you cum harder than ever, crying his name till you didn't have any strength and you were just a sack of bones under his expert mouth, devouring you and drinking your juices as if it was the elixir of life. And when he was satiated, you glanced at him using the tip of his tongue to trail a path up crossing your abdomen, the gap between your breasts, your throat, until kissing you again getting comfortable on top of you. It was a kiss full of love, and guiltiness, and necessity, and pure devotion for you.

“Did I hurt you with what I said?” You murmured, still enraptured by the fireworks fluttering within your belly.

“This isn't 'bout me”. Bucky clicked his tongue, hiding his face into your sweaty neck. “This is 'bout what I let happen”.

“That doesn't answer my question, Buck… I'm sorry about what I said. I was just… I feel insecure". You confessed stroking his scalp and back with your hands, lacing your legs together. “I didn't mean it. I would never try to… find someone who respects me more than you do. That's impossible. And not talking about how much you love me”.

“I love you with every inch of myself”. He swore, he promised, raising his face to look straight at your eyes. “I can't imagine a life without you”.

“Me either… Your love makes me feel alive”.

Bucky left one last tender kiss on your lips before suddenly standing up and holding you onto his arms to carry you to the bathroom and take a shower together —wash your hair, worship your body again as if it was the last thing he was going to do—.

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