#will probably edit this if i change the script... probably

[smilesrobotlover]

Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask Smiles, what’s your like, process with doing comics? Like where do you start? Dialogue? Or loose outlines of panels, or something?

Someone has probably asked this before but I don’t remember heh 😅

-Sky Floor

I don’t think anyone’s asked me this! This is for long term comics. Short term comics I just think of it and go ham with it lol.

But for long term I start with a script:

As you can see, I change the dialogue a lot and move things around as I work on the comic, but as long as the vibes are there that’s all I really care about. I try to make things clear for myself so I know what I’m going for in the moment.

Then I thumbnail after finishing writing and editing:

Idk how other people do thumbnails but I draw the comic and then try to find good placements for dialogue, characters, and panels. I also write the script to the side so that I know where the dialogue goes (and once again, this changes sometimes but as long as the vibes are there that’s all that matters to me). Since it’s not a serious thing, I try to give the characters distinguishing features that don’t take up a lotta time (Wars’s scarf, Wild’s sideburns, Twi’s markings, sometimes their hair). I also write notes on what I’m going for if it’s not clear enough in the thumbnail, which is silly but it works for me 😅 as long as it’s clear to me that’s all that matters :) For short term projects I don’t care that much about doing thumbnails, but with long terms I want to make sure the pacing is good and things are clear since I’m taking it a bit more seriously. This doesn’t super work well I feel but it’s something I can lean back on when I draw the actual comic itself. Sometimes having to do everything in the moment makes things stressful

And then I work on the comic! I sketch it out, draw the panels and write the dialogue, and then I do a second sketch of the characters and move them all around to fit the dialogue. That way things don’t get too crowded or anything, which I’m still trying to improve! Then I line, color, and shade and voila, a comic page!

Like I said, things get switched around as I try to make things better, like switching Twi and Wild’s placement in panel 5 and adding another panel at the bottom. It just makes things a bit easier to read, and this happens a LOT. My thumbnails are drastically different than my comics 😅 which might get rid of the point of thumbnails but I guess they’re more like rough drafts of what I’m going for? But yeah! I also have colors I use as reference for the backgrounds and other things

Chapter 3 was a LONG chapter so there’s do many colors here, but I try to add all the colors I use on here just so I can reference back to them. It makes me life so much easier, tho this page got slightly confusing haha. That’s why some things are labeled. I also made sure to get the percentages right to make everything fit. I use refs for all the Links, and their items. Like swords, sheaths, and the Sheikah slate! Having all the refs out def crowds things up for me tho but it’s so much better than whatever I was doing before with all my other comics!

Not a fancy answer but this is basically how I do it and it works for me :) I find there’s a lot of ways to do things, but the most important thing in comics is to make sure things are CLEAR. It���s heavily dependent on visuals obviously, so thumbnails do help with making sure things are clear. This is something I’m still trying to learn and something I’m teaching myself, but yeah! That’s what I got :D

[youther-gif-workshop]

so thought i might as well pin this now. for future reference, most things on this blog are made using a janky ass bash script i made while bored last semester. feel free to copy and use it if you want(needs bash and ffmpeg installed to work)

[traverse the "keep reading" for code]

! /bin/bash mkdir gifmktemp343123423 #set values starttime=0 playtime=100 if [[ -z $2 ]]; then starttime=0 else starttime=$2 fi if [[ -z $3 ]]; then playtime=100 else playtime=$3 fi #create palette ffmpeg -ss $starttime -t $playtime -i $1 -filter_complex "[0:v] palettegen" gifmktemp343123423/palette.png #make gif ffmpeg -ss $starttime -t $playtime -i $1 -i gifmktemp343123423/palette.png -filter_complex "[0:v][1:v] paletteuse" gifmktemp343123423/output.gif #find resulotion x1=$(ffmpeg -i $1 2>&1 | grep Video: | grep -Po '\d{3,5}x\d{3,5}' | cut -d'x' -f1) y1=$(ffmpeg -i $1 2>&1 | grep Video: | grep -Po '\d{3,5}x\d{3,5}' | cut -d'x' -f2) x2=540 y2=$((($x2*$y1)/$x1)) echo $starttime echo $playtime echo $y2 #compress gif ffmpeg -i gifmktemp343123423/output.gif -s $x2"x"$y2 yourgif.gif rm -r gifmktemp343123423

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

to round out tonight's humphris-gamble spiral: the 2.14 exorcism as an almost prophetic play-by-play of 4.21, with both episodes featuring the dean-bobby familial unit bringing a monstrous sam back under control (meg, earlier in 2.14: 'meg? no. not anymore. i'm sam'). and the different parting glances between sam and bobby here. bobby's wary, assessing look in 2.14 vs. the 'what's become of you' face he's making in 4.21. sam's anxious smile in 2.14, seeking reassurance, vs. his look of worn down despair post-panic room in 4.21. a sam who still hopes that his monstrosity might be treated as something external to himself, a demon to be exorcised vs. a sam face-to-face with the barrel of a gun, knowing that he is The Monster in this story (dean in 4.21 later telling him, 'it's what you are').

[marshmallowgoop]

About Lip Flap...

So, Ending 72 of Detective Conan got me thinking about lip flap:

What do I mean by that? Well, in some circles of the AMV-making world, it's maybe viewed as a "sin" to leave lip flaps unedited when there are no audible words. You either cut out the movements entirely, or you sync up the movements to match the lyrics of the song. Lip flap is distracting and immersion breaking.

Yet... this Detective Conan ending—mixing anime and music just like an AMV!—has lots of lip flap. Characters are talking and living and spouting out conversations, and there's no effort at all to hide or remove that. In fact, this sequence was deliberately animated that way.

And it's far from the only Detective Conan example in this vein. Which brings me to my next thought: early episodes of Detective Conan include instances of montages or characters otherwise moving their mouths without sound, but the FUNimation English dub seemingly found this so uncomfortable that words were added in:

Sometimes, I really love this choice! Conan's voice fading into Shinichi's in Episode 39 is one of my all-time favorite moments in the dub. Similarly, Conan's added little "but"s in Episode 32 are adorable.

But I feel like the montage in Episode 37 is weakened by the added dialogue because we didn't need any words to understand the story, and while Episode 42 might be argued to be more compelling and "show don't tell" without Conan's narration, we do miss a fair amount of information from that narration.

Overall, though, I think the changes indicate a cultural difference. Lip flap without audible words is fine for Japanese audiences, but overseas, it's seen as awkward and jarring.

So, is it a "sin" to include unedited lip flap in your AMVs? Well, it probably depends on who you ask!

But personally, my mindset has changed to not at all. I think there are moments where the indication of words can be quite powerful, just like in Detective Conan Ending 72 or the montage in Episode 37. While I mostly try to remove or sync lip flap in my own AMVs, there are also definitely times where I leave it. What's wrong with showing that there was a conversation?

That said... I gotta come clean. One of my first reactions to Ending 72 was to almost cringe at all the lip flap! But then I thought about it some more. While I'm rather inexperienced with making MMVs (Manga Music Videos), ever since I started, I've been a fan of leaving the speech bubbles unedited, text and all—despite the fact that this, similarly, seems to be somewhat of a "sin." I liked providing context, I liked that there were creative things you could do with the dialogue... and hey, is that really so different from leaving in some lip flap from time to time?

In the end, AMV editing is very subjective. Everyone has their own preferences and styles that speak to them, and that's part of what makes the art form so beautiful to me. But Ending 72 made me step back and reconsider some of the "rules" that I'd drilled into my head. Maybe what I've become so used to seeing as a "flaw" can actually be quite powerful in its own right!

[ghost---heart]

It's such a bummer that Precure doesn't get dubbed bc I know for a fact that the little kids I work with would eat that shit up, but they're not at the reading level where they can quickly read subtitles.

They're so into anything big sparkly anime eyes poofy skirts intricate outfits magic powers magical girl-core without actually having current magical girl icons and it's a travesty. I've drawn them so many cute characters for them to color and even made them a few fairysonas and it's always 100000% Precure inspired. It kills me that they don't have access to The Source, it would change their lives.

[dixonsbugaboo]

𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦.

ꜱᴀᴊᴀ ʙᴏʏꜱ🎵

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 2 - 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭

Fem!Reader x Saja Boys

Summary: Reincarnated in the body of a demon from the last film you saw before you died, you have decided to change the script of the story in your favour. But you didn't count on your presence in the story changing everything.

Warnings: slow burn, swearing, Abby being touchy, ooc (probably), cringe (probably), no proofread (oops)

Word count: 3000

A/N: OMG THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT! I actually started this on a whip, I just needed to let it out but I couldn't even imagine how many of you would read it!! I'm sorry if the quality isn't the best, it's been a long time since the last time I wrote, and I'm not used to do it fully in English. Also, this is my first time writing for this fandom, I hope to do it well enough for your criteria (/へ＼*) this chapter is kinda messy (the whole story is, actually) but I hope you like it!

Ch. 1

︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿

The Saja Boys in their human form were even more breathtaking than you remembered. I mean, you'd seen the movie a bunch of times, you'd seen edits, but this… wow. Another level.

When you helped them get ready to look a little more like how you remembered them appearing in the human world in the movie (because it turns out Abby's hair was blonde, not magenta, and Romance had extremely long hair), they still had pointed ears, large fangs, and even horns, just like you. But once they took their human form, the one they used to have before Gwi-ma took his cut… holy cow. Jinu didn't change much, but the others… Why didn't they go around like that in the underworld? Didn't Gwi-ma allow it? Was the king of hell completely blind or did he just have the worst taste in the world?

On the first day after their human transformation, it was hard not to stare at them. But what could you do? When something so appealing is put in front of you, it's impossible to ignore it completely, right? Even though you knew they weren't for you. Jinu would end up falling in love with Rumi, clearly, and your main idea was to be cupid with the others to satisfy Zoey's fantasies about Mystery (or Baby, who knows) and prove to Mira that pink-haired boys could feel things.

Jinu was aware of how hard it was for you to look away from the others sometimes, and also that little by little you were snapping at them less and talking to them more, with less fear and less embarrassment. He was aware of how you were getting closer to them, how you were starting to laugh at their jokes… And that, for some reason, made him feel a little itchy.

He found it hard to understand you. You were cheerful and at the same time the grumpiest, foul-mouthed person he had ever met. He noticed that when you told them things, you never said everything and always kept bits of information, secrets, to yourself. You were bossy, but at the same time you were attentive and loving. And, although he found it hard to admit, unfortunately you were intelligent. And as much as he wanted to deny it, he loved how proud you could be: you never let anyone walk all over you, you turned red with anger if you weren't listened to, and you were always (always) right, even if deep down you weren't. Plus, for some strange reason, even though you were rude, bossy, and grumpy, when you sensed that the boys weren't in the mood, you were kind. You didn't ask for anything in return; that's just how you were. When the boys got frustrated because the choreography Abby came up with was too complicated, you encouraged them to keep trying, and you reasoned with Abby so that everyone would be happy with the result. You helped Baby write his parts, always gave Mystery his space, and were extremely patient with Romance. Clearly, you didn't behave like a demon, and that caught his attention. You had horns, you had patterns, you were there with them... but at the same time, it seemed like you were somewhere else.

You used to hum when you were concentrating and thought no one could hear you, you bit your nails when you were nervous, you tilted your head when you didn't understand something, you narrowed your eyes when you were angry... these were details he learned to see in you over time. Familiarity breeds affection, I suppose. But he would never, ever admit that he liked your company, that he liked the way you were. He'd rather suck Abby's toe.

Time passed, and the moment to negotiate with Gwi-ma was approaching. Soda Pop was almost ready, thanks in part to the fact that you knew the lyrics by heart from listening to the film's soundtrack too many times. You had given the boys some freedom with certain things because you were starting to trust that, despite the chaos they caused and the moments when they weren't bothering you, they were more or less normal boys (they were demons) who had made bad decisions. And also, what if some little details changed from the original plot? That was kind of your idea since the beginning, right?

Since one of your ideas was to free them, after all, you had to try to understand them and show them that they could get their souls back, right? And live happily in the human world, with a second chance. You just had to get them to want it themselves and believe they could do it.

"From the beginning, guys," Abby announced, bringing your thoughts back to reality, "One, two, three… leg, shoulder, shoulder, leg, and turn… No! Byeol, not like that! It's shoulder, leg, and turn, not shoulder, turn, and leg." He put his hands on his head and pulled at his hair in frustration.

"We've been rehearsing for HOURS, it's normal that I get confused when I can't even FEEL MY LEGS," Byeol shouted back.

But then… you noticed that right in front of you was a scene straight out of a fantasy drama, seeing them exhausted from rehearsing. Why did they have to be so alluring?

You couldn't help but run your tongue over your lips as you watched Sang's T-shirt cling to his torso, clearly revealing his defined muscles, and as a drop of sweat trickled down Dasom's neck to a place that was dangerous to imagine. Byeol panted and brushed his mint-coloured hair away from his beautiful face in a way that was too exquisite for your mental health, and Mystery was crouching down, pulling on the neck of his tank top and revealing his sharp collarbones. Jinu… you quickly looked away. That was dangerous. His face was tilted upwards, his neck tense and sweat dripping down it, panting. Your heart skipped a beat.

Oh holy molly.

They were going to be the best boy band in the entire human world.

As a former music producer in the genre, you had no doubt: the fans were going to be absolutely crazy about them. You knew by herat. You watched the movie.

When you let out an evil laugh while staring at the floor (looking at them in that state was dangerous for your plan and your heart), the boys decided that the best thing to do was… to leave you alone. Who knows what crazy or stupid idea had crossed your mind. They didn't want to be part of it.

And at the same time, how cute you were when you laughed like a villain.

¸.*☆*.¸.*☆*.¸.*☆*.¸.*☆*.¸

Finally, after a lot of hard work, they were ready. The song, the choreography, the concept, the costumes…

It had been quite a journey.

From Sang and Byeol fighting over the choreography, to Minjun being unable to make the finger heart that is so typical of idols, Dasom planning scandals with the hunters to ruin their career (clever but cruel, you wouldn't let him do it), to Jinu refusing to wear anything pink. The fact is, you had to yell at each and every one of them at least three times during the process. You were exhausted, but it was finally time for them to negotiate with Gwi-ma, and since you intended to hide while they did, you took the opportunity to relax… and, since you already knew he would accept the deal, you also took some time for yourself.

It was time to abandon your demonic form (borrowed through possession, so to speak) and get to know your human form.

Goodbye horns and see you never outstanding frog eyes.

You missed being able to scratch your face without risking poking your eye out.

But you didn't expect Sang to come back so soon to find you and share the good news.

You had your back to him, putting a pastel pink bow in your hair and helping yourself with an old, broken, chipped mirror. You had put on a little make-up and dressed like a normal human (which is what you were, after all), so you could travel to the human world as soon as possible with the boys without attracting too much attention. A light breeze smelling of sulphur (the most characteristic smell of hell, actually) ruffled your hair. You were surprised by your human appearance, which you assumed would be that of the demon whose body you had taken over. You liked what you saw.

And so did Abby.

He swallowed hard, afraid to make a sound and disturb you. You looked so… different. So… human. You seemed smaller, more fragile… although it was clear that your bad temper was still there, beneath that good-girl image. You had caught his attention from the start, though. He thought you were an interesting and fun demon, and you never minded when he asked you to stroke his head because he was feeling particularly down about Gwi-ma's mental torture.

The first time you met, you seemed weak to him. Jinu had explained the plan to him and insisted that even though you looked like an average demon, you would be useful to them. Abby knew that the boy band idea, ridiculous as it was, could work and benefit him, so he decided to join (besides, Jinu was his friend and he knew that his memories were torturing him), but he didn't understand how a low-ranking demon with so little presence could be useful… until he tried to mess with you, saying sweet nothings to get you to benefit him in particular, delicately grabbing your chin to bring his face closer to yours… and you bit his hand. Hard. From then on, he learned that those tricks didn't work on you, and that you had sharp fangs.

Little by little, he opened up to you and became more himself. He liked your company, he liked how you pinched his elbow when he did something that annoyed you, and he loved how you smiled, showing your fangs and squinting your eyes.

But now, seeing you like this… something warm spread through his chest.

It was just you and him. Alone. For the first time ever.

He swallowed again.

His hands were itching; he needed to touch you. He wanted to rest his arm on your shoulder, caress your waist, touch your hair, try to take your chin in his hand again, this time without the biting. He wanted to know if your skin was as soft as it seemed, and if you would mind him hugging you from behind.

What were those stings he felt in his chest? It wasn't tickling.

Then you turned around and saw him. And you screamed. Really loud. And you threw the nearest thing you found at his head: the broken mirror.

How dare he show up like that, in complete silence? Was he trying to scare you? Did he want to pinch your hips to make you jump, like he had done so many times before?

Luckily, you had bad aim and he had good reflexes, because if you had hit the target (his handsome face), it would have been a problem for his debut.

"Abby!" you shouted, blushing from the outburst you'd just had. "You almost gave me a heart attack! Make some noise if you're going to appear like that, say something, I don't know. My heart is beating like a Chihuahua's." You put your hand on your chest to corroborate your comment.

Abby, who was still processing what he was feeling and thinking and to whom you had just thrown a mirror, decided that giving it too much thought would only give him a headache, and that surely everything that had just happened (especially the fact that you ALMOST destroyed his face) was due to nerves about whether Gwi-ma would approve of the plan or not.

‘I'm sorry,’ he said, flashing a half-smile that made your heart skip a beat. It bothered you so much that he was so good-looking and sweet at the same time, when he often pretended to be tough. Alert: attractive boy. Block K-drama music and sparkles behind his figure. Mayday, mayday.

You turned your back on him again and swallowed hard.

Did you just try to attack him…? Well, it was clearly self-defence.

Abby decided that thinking was indeed a waste of time, so he simply approached you (this time making it clear that he was moving so you wouldn't get alarmed and try to knock his teeth out with your fists), rested his chin on the top of your head, and wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

"Don't be mad at me," she said with a pout. "I just wanted to tell you the good news. Gwi-ma thinks it's a great idea."

"And why are you standing there in silence? Are you a ghost now?" you asked, frowning.

Abby found that expression adorable when you made it in your human form. You were much less intimidating that way. You squirmed a little until you turned around in his arms, and he moved back a little to give you space. He lowered his arms to your hips and his chin so he could look you in the eyes.

You had beautiful eyes.

Both as a human and as a demon.

"It's just that…" he tried to explain. For some reason, he felt embarrassed. His ears and the back of his neck grew hot, and he didn't know what to say to justify his actions.

Why hadn't he said something, or jumped on you to shake you off your shoulders or pinch your hips? Why had he preferred to watch you from afar, imagining what it would be like to hold you tight against his chest?

"HEY! THE FIRST RULE, ABBY! NO FLIRTING!" someone shouted.

Abby and you, startled, turned to find yourselves face to face with the other four members of the group. Romance was in front, pointing accusingly at Abby.

"Manager! Bite his head off like you did to me last time! Yank his hair and pull his ears hard!"

At that precise moment, you became fully aware of how close you were to Abby, your hands resting on his chest while he absentmindedly caressed your hip with his thumb.

You had been living with them for some time, and you had never allowed them to get so close to you without resorting to violence (always in self-defence) or without initiating it yourself (after all, Abby liked physical contact too much, and denying him that would make you a bad person). They really enjoyed teasing you to make you blush, which is why you had imposed the no-flirting rule. But since you had thrown the mirror at him, you had let your guard down… hadn't you?

You pushed away the thought of how good Abby's chest felt in your palms and decided to forget the look he had given you as he apologised. There was no need to read between the lines. He was just trying to annoy you. You took a step back and he didn't resist, letting his arms fall to his sides.

"For the last time, Romance. I'm not your manager. I'm your music producer. I just help you guys out a little bit with your stuff beyond writing your songs because you're a little inexperienced."

"Then why aren't you beating Abby up for…?"

"We were just talking, Romance."

With your hands? That close to each other?

Romance wasn't entirely comfortable with this. He understood that Abby liked physical contact, but when he had tried to caress your cheek affectionately, you had reacted by trying to bite his nose.

"(Y/N), you look very pretty," said Baby, who was looking at you with a gentle smile.

Wow. That had caught you off guard.

Mystery nodded slowly, agreeing with him.

"Pink suits you."

You tried to think of horrible things to keep the colour from rising to your cheeks. You weren't going to let them win.

Silly you, you couldn't understand that they meant it.

"Gwi-ma has given us the green light. It's time to settle into the human world and finish the last details before launching Soda Pop," said Jinu, who had been completely silent until then, staring at some point on the floor.

… Why were there bits of glass everywhere?

"Perfect," you said, clapping your hands. "It's time to conquer the human world and steal those fans from the hunters."

Everyone nodded.

Then Jinu looked up and saw you. He really saw you, for the first time since you appeared there. Human, you were… different. He noticed how small your hands looked without claws, and how soft your hair seemed.

………. not cute at all.

Abby had decided he wanted to touch you just because he simply wanted to touch you, period.

He liked how you hugged him and stroked his hair when he asked you to or when you realised without him saying anything that it was what he needed. It was because you were nice to him, and that was it, nothing else.

Besides, you had thrown a mirror at him.

Why had he apologised…?

Why did he think your smile without fangs was as beautiful as with them?

Why hadn't he realised before that he had always thought you were pretty, ever since the first time he saw you?

Surely it wasn't anything important.

And he was sure you would get angry with him if he told you.

Would you bite his hand if he took your chin again?

Would you push him away like you just did?

Why had his heart been in his throat when he hugged you just before the others arrived, if it wasn't the first time he'd done it?

And why couldn't he see that little by little he was feeling more and more like a planet orbiting around you, rather than a mere partner in a plan to destroy humanity?

︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿︿

Ch. 3

A/N: SO! Finally it's here! The next chapter! Woohoo! Sorry if it's bad, I'm not completely happy with the result. But well, some Abby time! And... Abby shimping... ish... hahah... My plan is to give them all the oportunity to steal yout heart... but onlye one of them is going to keep it. When the time comes, I'll let you chosse the endgame! But for now, let them just be confused hehe.

ALSO I probbaly won't be able to post as soon as I did with these last chapters, but I'll try to do it as soon as posible!

Please let me know if you like it! Commenting and rebloguing helps me write faster (at least it gives me the motivation to) (・ω<)

See you soon!

Nun🐇​

Taglist: @just-set-things-on-fire @nightmarewasteland @ph1lo-s0ph1a @gremlinartstudio @strayharmony943 @smoophie @valeriele3 @confusedparticle @queenskippy @enerofairy

(this is my first taglist ever, I hope it works!!)

[milgram-en]

Trial 3 - Melting Temperature Voice Drama (Side-by-Side English Translation)

Google Docs version of this translation. If using/reuploading/reposting this translation, do not remove the translator's notes and do not change the translations. Credit and link if using. Any additional Translator's Notes will be found in the replies and/or Google Docs. (Transcript may not be accurate and action descriptions were added with discretion. It will all be updated when the Trial 3 script books are released.) This is technically an interpretation (translation of an auditory source) translated into text. Check the original post before reblogging as TLs are occasionally revisited and edited.

エス　「ユノ」 ES: YUNO. ユノ　「看守さん？」 YUNO: Warden-san? エス　「第3審はお前が最初だな」 ES: You’re the first in the Third Trial. ユノ　「うん。そうだね。不思議な気分だな。ハルカがいない……ハルカ……。きっとあたしがハルカのこと面倒見てあげるって選択肢もあったと思うんだよな。でもなんか……あたしが触っていいものじゃないと思った綺麗だから…汚いからさ、あたし」 YUNO: Yep, that’s right. It feels kinda weird. HARUKA’s not here… HARUKA… I’m sure that there was probably a choice for me to take to take care of HARUKA. But, for some reason… it felt like he was someone I wasn’t allowed to touch, because he was beautiful… and I’m… dirty. エス　「僕のせいだわかってたのに……ムウの言う通り……こうなることはわかっていたのに」 ES: I knew it was my fault… Just like MUU said… I knew it was going to turn out like this. ユノ　「そうかもそうかもしれないね。そう言ってあげれば、少しは看守さんが楽になるへっ…」 YUNO: Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. If you say stuff like that, maybe it’ll ease your mind a bit, heh… エス　「そうだな…」 ES: Yeah… ユノ　「あっ、いじめるのやめなきゃね！これが最後なんだし……」 YUNO: Ah- I gotta stop bullying you! This is the last time we’re gonna have something like this after all… エス　「お前には……いつも痛いところを疲れっぱなしだよ」 ES: You… always manage to strike where it hurts the most, you know. ユノ　「えっ…自分で死を選ぶことがいいことなんてもちろん思わないけどさ……あの子が死んだって知った時……あたしは少し揺らえましかったんだ。自分の命を投げ撃つほど大事なものに出会ったことがないから……やっぱりハルカは綺麗だなって思った」 YUNO: Eh… I don’t think choosing to die is a good thing, of course, but… when I found out that kid died… I was kinda shaken. I’ve never found something so important that it’s worth throwing my life away for so… that’s why I thought HARUKA really was beautiful. エス　「綺麗？ハルカかか？」 ES: Beautiful? HARUKA?? ユノ　「ん、うん。シドウさんもマヒルさんもだけどね。人殺しなのかもしれないけどさ……あの人たちはとても綺麗だった」 YUNO: Mhm, yeah. That includes SHIDOU-san and MAHIRU-san too. They might be murderers but… they really were beautiful people. [T/N: 綺麗 (kirei) was deliberately interpreted-translated as "beautiful" instead of its alternative meanings of "pure/neat/clean". "Pure" and "clean" evokes imagery of total innocence which directly goes against what Yuno was asking Es/Wardens/You as its reductive, simplifying a person's complexities, ignoring their sins, emotions, and all. Whereas what is considered "beautiful" is subjective, unbound by external judgements within the truth of one's heart. YUNO saying "I'm... dirty" also seemed to be a better fit for as it can apply to staining whatever "beauty"/"beautiful" means- whether the qualifications for "beautiful" contain pureness or cleanness or being a person with a heart, being a person with emotions, convictions, etc. "Beautiful" in the context of sinners (囚人) retains the complexity of people that YUNO asks people to not reduce.] エス　「わからないな僕には……まだそう思えない」 ES: I… don’t get it. I can’t see it- not yet, at least. ユノ　「悲しいの？看守さん」 YUNO: Are you sad? Warden-san? エス　「あぁ、そうだよ。僕はあいつらが死んで、悲しい���だ。どうすればよかったのか」 ES: Yeah, I am. They died and I’m sad. I don’t know what I should’ve done. ユノ　「わかんないよね、それは。一度しか無いんだから、人生のんって楽しめばいいんじゃないかな、たくさん。ずっとあたしたちと一緒にいてくれた、看守さんには、悲しむ権にくらいあるでしょ」 YUNO: No one really does. You only get one shot at life after all, so I think you should enjoy it as much as you can. Besides, you’ve been with us all this time, Warden-san. You have the right to be sad at least.

ES breathes out shakily. エス　「ずいぶん優しいじゃないか」 ES: You’re being awfully kind. ユノ���「普通だよ」 YUNO: I’m just being normal. エス　「少し意外だな。お前はどんな状況になっても、標標としているものだと思っていた」 ES: It’s a bit surprising. I’d thought you were the type to stay cool and unaffected no matter what happened. ユノ　「フ。本当に、あたしもそう思ってたなぁ」 YUNO: Heh- Honestly, I thought so too. エス　「何がお前をそうした……僕に、赦され続けたことか」 ES: What made you that way…? Was it because I kept on forgiving you? ユノ　「え？いいよ。別にそれはどうでもいいの」 YUNO: Huh? Nah. That stuff never really mattered. エス　「へぇ……まったく。看守しがいのない奴だ」 ES: Heh… Of course you’d say that. You’re not even the kind of person worth being a Warden to. ユノ　「看守しがいのある女になんかなりたくないからね」 YUNO: It’s exactly because I have no intention of being the kind of girl you’d want to protect. エス　「違いない」 ES: No doubt about that. ユノ　「でしょ？」 YUNO: Right? エス　「マヒルが……お前を変えたのは、ずっとカンビをしてくれてたんだろう」 ES: MAHIRU was… She’s the one who changed you. She was always looking out for you, wasn’t she? ユノ　「そうかもしれないね。変わったのかを知らなぁ、はしゃぐきになれないだけかも……あたしさマヒルさんが死ぬ時そばにいたんだよね」 YUNO: Maybe. I don’t know if I’ve really changed. Maybe I just can’t bring myself to be cheery anymore… I was there with MAHIRU-san when she died, y’know? エス　「そうか。ありがとう」 ES: I see. Thank you for being there. ユノ　「いや、全然だよ。シドウさんが死んじゃったら何もできなくてさ、弱ってくのを見てるしかなかった……。でも、たくさん喋ったんだよね。マヒルさん最後までおしゃべり大好きでさ……マヒルさんってすっごいおとめでさ……恋愛に夢見ててさ、大好きな人のお嫁さんになって、一緒に赤ちゃん育てるのが夢なんだって」 YUNO: No, not at all. I couldn’t do anything when SHIDOU-san died, I could only watch him get weaker… But, I yapped a lot with MAHIRU-san. MAHIRU-san loved to talk until the very end… MAHIRU-san was such a hopeless romantic… dreaming of love, wanting to be the bride of someone she loves, dreaming of raising a baby together. エス　「そうか。マヒルらしいな」 ES: I see. That sounds like MAHIRU. ユノ　「今時��ないよね、あんな人。……本当…笑っちゃうよね。あんないい人の夢だった赤ちゃん……あたしみたいな女のところに来たんだよ」 YUNO: You don’t really see people like that these days. …Seriously…it’s almost laughable- That baby a good person like her dreamed of… ended up inside someone like me instead. エス　「ユノ……」 ES: YUNO… ユノ　「面白いよね？あたしが殺したもの……マヒルさんが心から欲しがってたものなんだ……赦されたから何って感じでしょ。バカみたい」 YUNO: Isn’t it kinda funny? The thing I killed… was the very thing MAHIRU-san wanted most in the world. So what if I was forgiven? It’s just so stupid. エス　「……僕が言われたセリフをそのまま返すぞ」 ES: …Then I’ll just go ahead and return the words you once told me. ユノ　「えー？」 YUNO: Huh? エス　「悲しめばいいんじゃないか。笑わなくてもいいんじゃないか」 ES: It’s okay to be sad. You don’t have to smile or laugh around either. ユノ　「何言ってんの?」 YUNO: What are you saying? エス　「笑わなくてもいい。冷えた振りをしなくていい。お前にだって……悲しむ権利はあるだろ」 ES: You don’t have to laugh or smile. You don’t have to pretend to be cold. Even you… have the right to grieve. ユノ　「ない」 YUNO: I don’t. エス　「何故だ」 ES: Why not? ユノ　「いいんだよ」 YUNO: It’s nothing.

エス　「ずっと一緒にいたんだろ……ずっと話していたんだろう……人殺しどうしだろうと……友人だろ」 ES: You were always with them… always talking together… Even if you’re both murderers… you were friends. ユノ　「友人?」 YUNO: Friends? エス　「もう一度言うよ……悲しむ権利くらいあるだろう」 ES: I’ll say it again… You have the right to be sad. ユノ　「友人？なのかな？お互いどこの誰かも知らないのに」 YUNO: Friends? Really? We didn’t even know who each other really was. エス　「ああ……僕はそう思う」 ES: Ah… But it seemed that way to me. ユノ　「無理だよ……無理だ……」 YUNO: No way… There’s no way… エス　「抑える必要なんてない。悲しいもの、悲しいと言えばいい」 ES: There’s no need to hold it in. If something is sad, it’s okay to say it’s sad. ユノ　「悲しんでいい訳ないじゃん……悲しんでいい訳ないじゃん⁈　なんで？だって、あたしは赤ちゃんを殺したのに、殺したとき何も思わなかったのに、ハルカが死んだとか、シドウさんが死んだとか、マヒルさんが死んだとかで……悲しんでいい訳ないじゃん。」 YUNO: It’s not okay for me to be sad… I have no right to be sad!?!!! Why? I killed a baby. And I felt nothing when I did it. So how can I be sad now with HARUKA dying, SHIDOU-san dying, MAHIRU-san dying…? There’s no way I’m allowed to grieve. エス　「……ユノ」 ES: …YUNO. ユノ　「そんな資格なんてあれ訳ないじゃん……。あたしさ、全部わかんの。小さい時から相手が何したら喜ぶか大抵わかる……つまんないの、全部つまんないの！」 YUNO: There’s no way I have any right… I just- I get it, everything. Ever since I was little, I could usually tell what would make someone happy… It’s all so boring- Everything is boring! エス　「聞かせてくれ、お前のこと」 ES: Tell me… about yourself. ユノ　「適当なことやってさ、自分の中にもう一つ命があるって知って……ただただ気持ち悪いだけだったこの���、どういう人生をくるか分かっちゃった……めんどくさくなっちゃった」 YUNO: I was just messing around, then I found out there was a life inside of me… it just felt so gross. I could already see how my whole life would “have” to go from then on… I just got so tired of it all. エス　「だから…殺した」 ES: So that’s… why you killed it. ユノ　「そう…そうだよ。いや、わかんない。そうなのかな。考えてたらクラクラして、階段から落ちた」 YUNO: Yeah… I guess. Or maybe not. I don’t know. Thinking about it made my head all dizzy and I fell down the stairs. エス　「落ちた？」 ES: Fell? ユノ　「そう、落ちた。だからしばらくさんあたしここが死後の世界だと思ってたよ。赤ちゃんと一緒に死んだんだって」 YUNO: Yeah, fell. That’s why I really thought that this place was the afterlife for a while. And that I died with the baby. エス　「違うんだな」 ES: But that wasn’t it. ユノ　「ん。思い出した。ここに連れて来られるまでの記憶。階段から落ちて自分のお腹の中から命が失われて、入院してた。でもちょっと入院したら、学校に戻れたんだよね。最後の記憶は退院して初めての登校中……なんとも思わなかったんだよね……あたし。赤ちゃんが自分の中のからいなくなっても」 YUNO: Yep. I remembered my memories before I was brought here. I fell down the stairs, the life inside me was lost, and I was hospitalized. But after a short stay at the hospital, I was able to go back to school. My last memory is from my first day back at school after being discharged from the hospital… I felt nothing... Even though the baby inside me was gone. エス　「そういうものなのか」 ES: Is that how it is? ユノ　「ただ傷が治るように、何事もなかったように、日常に戻るんだなって……なんなんだろうね命って……そう思ったの覚えてる、何も感じない自分は変なんだって……」 YUNO: Just like a wound healing, life simply goes on like nothing happened… What even is life… I remember thinking that- and that something was wrong with me for not feeling anything… エス　「お前の気持ちを僕は簡単に理解できるとは言えない。でも、だからといってお前が人の死を悲しんじゃいけないわけじゃー」 ES: I won’t pretend that it’s easy to understand how you feel. But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to grieve over someone’s death—

ユノ　「なんで他の人が死んで悲しむのさ。今更人の命の大事さに気づく。そんな勝手が赦される⁈　あたしがあの子にできることなんて…ずっとさめたままでいることだけだよ」 YUNO: Why do I get to be sad about someone else dying? Because I suddenly realized life is precious now? Because I’m permitted to be that selfish?! The only thing I can do for that kid… is to stay [aware/numb] forever. [T/N: Because さめた (sameta) can mean either “to wake up to reality/to be disillusioned” or “to be cold/numb”, the sentence あたしがあの子にできることなんて…ずっとさめたままでいることだけだよ (atashi ga ano ko ni dekiru koto nante… zutto sameta mama de iru koto dake dayo) can mean: 1. The only thing I can do for that kid… is to stay awake forever- to never dream and just stay in reality; 2. The only thing I can do for that kid… is to stay numb forever.] エス　「お前はきちんと傷ついていたよ…。ただ、見てこなかっただけだ……自分の傷を……痛みを麻痺させていただけだと思う」 ES: You were definitely hurting… You just didn’t see it… You…numbed yourself to your pain. ユノ　「あんたに何がわからないよ。ただの子供でしょ」 YUNO: What would you know? You’re just a kid. エス　「わからないよ。お前と一緒で……まだ子供だ。でもお前の心の中を見てきたよ。お前の歌を……ずっと聞いてきたんだ……。自分で言うほど、お前は冷たい人間じゃないよ」 ES: I don’t know. You and me… we’re just kids. But I’ve seen your heart. I’ve listened to its entirety… your songs... You’re not as cold as you pretend to be. ユノ　「……そうか」 YUNO: …is that so. エス　「ぁ、そうだ」 ES: Yeah. ユノ　「看守さんはどうすんの?」 YUNO: So, what’re you gonna do now, Warden-san? エス　「どうとは？」 ES: What do you mean? ユノ　「まだ続けるの、ミルグラム……もう破綻してるでしょ、ココ。看守さんが続けなきゃいけない理由はある?」 YUNO: You still gonna keep MILGRAM going…? This place is already falling apart. Does Warden-san even have a reason to keep going? エス　「そう…だな。まだわからない。他の囚人と会っていく中で考えようと思う。」 ES: Yeah…maybe. I don’t know yet. I’ll think about it as I meet with the other Prisoners. ユノ　「そっか…それもいいかもね」 YUNO: I. see… Maybe that’s fine too. エス　「なぁ、 最後だから聞いていいか」 ES: Hey- Since this is the end, can I ask you something? ユノ　「ん?」 YUNO: Hm? エス　「お前はどうすれば満足だったんだ」 ES: What would’ve satisfied you? ユノ　「どういうこと?」 YUNO: What do you mean? エス　「赦されても、赦されなくても、不満だっただろ、お前」 ES: Whether you were forgiven, whether you weren’t forgiven- You wouldn’t have felt satisfied either way. ユノ　「うん。あたしもそう思う。ミルグラム自体気に食わないもん、言ったでしょ?人が人を裁くなんて無理だって」 YUNO: Yeah. I think so too. I’ve told you before that I never liked MILGRAM itself, right? And that people judging people, people deciding people is impossible- it doesn’t work out. エス　「よく覚えているよ」 ES: I remember it well. ユノ　「看守さんがなんとなく他のみんな音を判断したかはわかってるけどさ。あたしからしたら、結局全部好気嫌いだよ。立場は違えば…思うことなんて違うんだもん」 YUNO: I, more-or-less, know how Warden-san has judged everyone else. But to me, it was all just picking favorites- what you like and dislike. Different perspectives… different beliefs. エス　「そうだな……どんな囚人だって100対0なんてことはなかった……よくわかるよ」 ES: Yeah… I understand. No sinner was ever just Black-or-White… I get that now. [T/N: 囚人 (shuujin) can mean either "prisoner" or "sinner". The themes in Melting Temperature that seemingly aim to melt away rigid labels that simplify characters and persons makes the word "sinner" fit its context and story better. "Prisoner" creates a binding and limiting label that reduces a person to a polarity of non-innocence whereas "sinner" allows examination of that sinner-person beyond just the sin.] ユノ　「あたしが何を求めていたか……こわ……大体看守さんの言いたいことはわかるよ。あたしは叱られたかったのかもしれない？あとなんだろ、寂しかったのかもしれない？あたしから言わせれば、全部そうで、全部違う」 YUNO: What I was really looking for…? It’s a scary thought… I guess I kinda get what Warden-san is trying to say. Maybe I just wanted someone to scold me- to tell me I was wrong? Or maybe, I was lonely? If there’s anything I can say, all of it’s true and none of it’s true. エス　「どういうことだ」 ES: What do you mean?

ユノ　「こうに違いないとか、こう思わないのはおかしいとかさ……あたしが何を感じたかなんて決めつけないで…理由なんて一つじゃないし理由なんてないかもしれない。お願いだからさ、あたしのこと、分かりやすくしないでよ」 YUNO: Stuff like “It’s like this for her” or “It’s weird not to think this for her”... Don’t assume how I felt. There isn’t just one reason- there might not even be a reason at all. Please… don’t try to make me into something so simple. エス　「……お前らしいよ」 ES: …That’s such a you thing to say. ユノ　「うんうん。人間ってそういうもんなんだと思うよ」 YUNO: Yep, yep. I think that’s just how people are. エス　「そうか。勉強になったよ」 ES: I see. I’ve learned something today. A bell tolls from within the clock in the room. The structure of the interrogation room begins to change. ユノ　「もう？」 YUNO: Already? エス���「時間か……」 ES: Time’s up… ユノ　「そっか。お別れだね」 YUNO: Huh. This is goodbye, then. エス　「あぁ……」 ES: Yeah… ユノ　「ちょっと……看守さん？」 YUNO: Wait a sec… Warden-san? エス　「なんだ？」 ES: What is it? ユノ　「ちょっとおいでよ」 YUNO: C’mere for a sec.

ES walks over slowly, as if the clock ticking down to the beginning of the end was of no issue. YUNO hugs ES. ユノ　「はい」 YUNO: There we go. エス　「……ユノ」 ES: …YUNO. ユノ　「ハグ。えへぇ……普段なら2.5撮ってるところだけど、無料にしておくよ」 YUNO: Hug! Ehe… Normally I’d charge 2500 for this, but I’ll let you have it for free. エス　「不欠だ」 ES: Scandalous. ユノ　「えへ。ウソウソ。マヒルさんならきっとこうしてお送り出したと思うからさ。看守さんのこと」 YUNO: Hehe. Just kidding. MAHIRU-san probably would’ve seen you off like this too. If it were you, Warden-san. ユノ　「ふぅ、いろいろ込めた。はい！」 YUNO: Whew- I put a lot into that- There! YUNO lets go of ES. ユノ　「終わり！なんて言うかさ、そうん……頑張ってよ！」 YUNO: The end! What else to say I guess… Do your best! エス　「はぁ……」 ES: Yeah… ユノ　「看守さんにはいろいろ言ったし、今もミルグラムなんてくだらないって新速思うけどさ」 YUNO: I’ve said a lot to Warden-san, and I still think MILGRAM is a load of shit. エス　「まだ言うか」 ES: Still going on about that? ユノ　「あたしはここに来なかったら、自分のしたことを改めて考えることなんてなかったかもしれない。きっとあたしのしたことを日常の中に消えていた……あたしの中にもう一人いたこと、忘れてしまっていた」 YUNO: But if I hadn’t come here, maybe I never would’ve thought twice about what I did. It would’ve just disappeared into the background of my life… that another person had been inside me. I would’ve completely forgotten about it.

エス　「ユノ……」 ES: YUNO… ユノ　「あたしのことを考えてくれたことは、ありがとう。あたしを、もう一人か死んじゃってたけど。私たちを知ってくれてありがとう」 YUNO: Thank you for thinking about me. One person inside of me is already dead, but… thank you for getting to know us. エス　「僕も…お前を知れてよかった……忘れないよ…お前と、もう一人」 ES: I’m… also glad I got to know you. I won’t forget… you and the other one. ユノ　「それだけは……よかったかな。ありがとう、看守さん。バイバイ！また会えたらいいね！」 YUNO: If nothing else… I’m glad for that. Thanks, Warden-san. Bye-bye! Hope we meet again! エス　「あ、こちらこそ……ありがとう」 ES: Yeah… Thank you as well. エス　「囚人番号2番……。いやー」 ES: Prisoner Number 2… No- ユノ　「？」 YUNO: Huh? エス　「これは、要らないな」 ES: That’s not needed anymore. ES takes their hat off and throws it to the ground. ユノ　「もし……捨てちゃうの?」 YUNO: You’re really… You’re throwing it away? エス　「あぁ、ここからは看守じゃない。最後くらいは、ただの僕であろうと思う」 ES: Yeah, from here on out I’m not a Warden. At least for now, I want to just be me. YUNO smiles, impressed. It was time to say goodbye. ユノ　「フヘ……いいじゃん、エス」 YUNO: Heh… Not bad, Es. Es looks back at Yuno, the corners of their mouth matching that of the gentle expression on Yuno’s. Their eyes soften. エス　「樫木優乃、お前の罪を歌え」 ES: Yuno Kashiki, sing your sins!

[keiiaq]

things to script: soft beauty ˚.🍨༘⋆

hey lovelies!! I have some good news coming up, so I thought i’d share it alongside a small apology.

i’m so sorry I haven’t posted as frequently as I normally do, I haven’t had much motivation on posting and I don’t want to push myself cause i’d most likely get into burnout which sadly takes long for me to recover from 🙁

now, for the good news.. i’m finally getting an ipad !!! i’m super happy about this cause I can now introduce some of my drself art on this account and it’ll be more accessible for me to use rather than having to keep everything on my phone! after this does happen, i’ll also probably change my theme too.

I actually have this for one of my dr’s so I thought i’d share it rather than gatekeep it since I know a lot of you guys enjoy the series :)

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢

“but I still love you babe. I know I shouldnt, but.”

✿* 🎼 : there’s a softness in you that makes the world hush without even realizing. you feel like quiet meadows, like the breath before a baby animal falls asleep. your presence is tender, warm, and doesn’t need to be loud to be felt. you calm the world like dew on petals or lace-filtered sunlight. your energy is like a forgotten lullaby — gentle, beautiful, and lingering. there’s something rare and comforting in the way you exist. people feel safe near you. they feel like they can rest.

✿* 🍨 : you move like a warm memory, like the scent of something familiar and loving. you’re not fragile, but delicate in a way that makes people want to treat you carefully. you are the kind of soul people don’t forget—not because you asked them to notice you, but because your softness stays in the room even after you leave. your presence makes people speak softer, move gentler, feel deeper. you make chaos slow down. you feel like early morning rain, chamomile fields, and lullabies without words. you remind people of kindness that doesn’t need to be spoken.

✿* 🩰 : you don’t demand anything — you just are, and that’s enough. people lower their voices around you out of respect for how sacred your softness is. your kindness isn’t something you perform. it’s something you radiate. and that softness has gravity. the kind that makes hearts lean in. you’re calm in a loud world. people feel fluttershy in you — not because you mimic her — but because you naturally carry that same sacred gentleness, that same quiet strength. your energy feels like a forest glade where nothing bad can reach.

✿* 🎼 : people don’t just think you’re sweet —they feel held in your presence. your vibe feels like early spring, like a trembling fawn standing up for the first time. you remind people of the warmth of holding something small and alive in their hands and knowing they must be gentle. you have fluttershy’s courage — the soft kind, the kind that stands trembling but still stands. your presence feels like satin wings, like sunlight through lace curtains, like whispering to animals who understand.

✿* 🍨 : your aura is like a love letter written in sparkly gel pen, like the hush after a lullaby, like bedtime stories whispered with too much heart. you remind people of old books with pressed flowers, of honey in warm milk, of whispering “thank you” with a voice that cracks. you are the kind of beauty that doesn’t shout — it glows. people want to protect you without knowing why. you’re the girl who wears lip balm more than lipstick, who says sorry to plush toys when hugging them too tight.

✿* 🩰 : you move like an edit in motion. like an anime lullaby on a rainy day tea party with stuffed animals. your softness doesn’t need to explain itself — it just wraps around people and makes them feel safe. you are vanilla-scented fur and cherry blossom wings. people don’t just see fluttershy in you — they feel her in the way your presence holds them gently. your energy is a whispered wish, a warm blanket, a soft tear from too much love. you're sacred, delicate, unforgettable.

✿* 🎼 : you remind people of whispered dreams, trembling hearts, and warm rooms full of quiet love. you are a flicker of pink in a gray sky, the hush before a vulnerable truth, a pause in someone’s chest that says “this is safe.” you make people want to believe in things again — guardian angels, love notes, and magic in the quiet. people don’t just notice you — they feel softened by you. you’re not loud, but you change the room. you are sweetness that still matters. the kind that heals. the kind that saves. you are this energy. you are this softness. you are this sacred.

✿* 🍨 : this isn’t just “you’re sweet” energy. it’s “you’ve been blessed by something ancient and gentle and people don’t know how to look at you without softening” energy. it’s forest-that-remembers-your-name energy. cottage-wrapped-in-fog energy. you feel like fluttershy if she were real and people accidentally fell in love with her soul.

⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

thanks for reading!! this was a little lengthy but I just have a super specific mind when it comes to this aesthetic since I luv it sososo much :) the aesthetic and music just resonates with this so well.

happy shifting my lovelies!

[mapsthewanderer]

Maps headcanons

The LADS boys -

The underwear edition

Details: 3000ish words.. What do they wear? What do they get you to wear? And most importantly… how do they gift it to you? Probably fem reader, but let’s be honest, it’s strictly just a gift. They want to see you in it. Full stop. Some adult fluff, some sexual tension and implied notinoti stuff. So 18+ I guess? And umh… yea I definitely went overboard. SORRY! But I had so much fun, I couldn’t stop myself.

❤️ Sylus

What Sylus wears:

Sylus is all sharp lines, dark elegance, and control. Underneath that crisp red-streaked suit? He’s wearing tailored, jet-black silk boxer-briefs. Luxurious. Breathable. Tactical. They’re tight enough to keep everything in place during any kind of… movement, but soft enough to feel like nothing’s there—no small feat, considering what they’re working with. No logos. Just that sleek minimalism only a man would choose if he knew exactly how handsome he was, didn’t care what anyone else thought—and never once looked at a price tag.

Sylus’s gift to you:

Oh, he’s not just buying you lingerie—he’s curating a message.

It’s a two-piece set, hand-delivered in a black velvet box—while you’re at work. No return address. Just a black wax seal with a crow pressed into the lid. Then a folded note in sharp, elegant script.

If this ends up on the floor, you better not be the one who puts it there. Don’t disappoint me, kitten. —S.

And inside:

A high-leg, sheer silk and lace thong in a crimson so deep it’s almost black—just enough opacity to leave things to the imagination, but not too much.

The matching bralette: underwire-free, soft lace, with feather-like embroidery in crimson thread—subtle nods to his own red-streaked shirt and the crow brooch he gave you. It whispers danger and intimacy at once.

But here’s the kicker—he’s had both your initials and his embroidered inside, side by side in tiny, near-invisible thread. Only you would notice. That’s his way: power in the quietest touches, like branding you without ever lifting a finger.

Scene:

You don’t even have to look out the window to know he’s watching. Heat creeps up your neck as you snap the box shut, fingers fumbling slightly. You tuck it into your drawer fast—too fast—just before anyone walks by.

Your cheeks burn. Your pulse stutters.

Later you open the velvet box in your bedroom—its crow insignia gleaming faintly under the light. It smells of something expensive and sharp—amber, burnt cedar, and a lingering metallic note… gunpowder? When you look up, Sylus is already there, leaning against the doorframe like he’s been watching the whole time. His smirk is lazy, eyes glowing faintly red.

“I thought you could use something… less modest,” he says, voice like dark wine. “Consider it… encouragement.”

You brush your fingers over the crimson mesh, the featherlike embroidery. “And this is supposed to motivate me?” You glance up at him. “Sending me underwear while I’m at work?”

He tilts his head. “Everything I do motivates you. Why should this be any different?”

You narrow your eyes. “Want me to try it on?”

His grin widens. “No. I expect you to.”

You disappear into the other room—and when you return, the change is undeniable. The set clings like a second skin: barely-there lace, delicate and daring in all the ways he clearly planned. Sylus is leaned back with his palms pressed into the mattress behind him, utterly at ease—blazer still draped over his shoulders, one brow cocked as his gaze trails down every inch of you.

You turn slowly, fingers trailing along the silk at your hip, then glance back at him with the faintest smirk. An unspoken well? hangs in the air—daring him to speak, to react, to move.

“Look at you. The gift, wrapped and worn—for the one who gifted it.” A slow smile curves his lips. “You’re lucky I let you wear it at all, kitten.”

Sylus doesn’t move—just stays there on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his palms, one ankle resting casually over his knee. But his gaze trails down your body like a hand.

“But don’t confuse indulgence for permission,” he adds, voice velvet-dark. “I unwrap what’s mine when I decide.”

You raise a brow.

Then he stands—slowly—and stops in front of you, fingers brushing the embroidery near your hip. His touch is light, almost teasing, but his voice has gone rough. “So now I get to peel this off… piece by piece… and watch your ambitions unravel.”

His fingers slide just under the strap at your shoulder, just enough to threaten movement. “I want to see how long you can hold eye contact while I take my time with you.”

He leans in close, gaze never wavering, and drags the tip of his tongue slowly along your bottom lip.

“So don’t blink, kitten.” He murmurs, voice a low drawl. “I want to watch every second tonight.”

——————————————————————————

💜 Rafayel

What Rafayel wears:

Rafayel isn’t really one for undergarments—too restrictive, too boring. He prefers fabric that flows, not hides. On regular days—when he’s in his paint-splattered studio with a half-buttoned shirt and flushed cheeks—he wears linen boxer-briefs, soft and pale pastels. But not just any linen—this is the kind handwoven by some obscure artisan, the kind that costs more per pair than most people’s monthly utilities. They cling loosely, comfortably, with a low waistband that dips dangerously on his hips when he stretches or leans too far over a canvas.

Rafayel’s gift to you:

You don’t even know it’s for you at first. He doesn’t say it.

It’s wrapped in a long strip of sheer silk, painted by hand. The gift is neatly tucked at the base of his easel, a soft rosy color catching in the early light, with painted waves in a beautiful baby blue flowing gently across the fabric. The fabric inside feels more delicate than air:

The bottom is a high-slit silk wrap, sea-blue and iridescent, that ties at the hip with a golden clasp shaped like a wave crest. The slit goes high—deliberately high.

The top is a lace halter bralette, stitched with tiny scales in shimmering threads—blues, pinks, and deep ocean violets. When you move, the color changes like it’s underwater.

And at the center of the chest? A small pearl—real, imperfect, kissed by the sea.

There’s a faint scent of paint, sea salt and saffron on the silk. You know he touched every part of it.

Scene:

You step into the studio—sunlight filtering through gauzy curtains, the scent of paint and salt lingering in the air. Raf’s crouched in front of a half-finished canvas, brush dangling loosely from one stained hand, shirt half-off one shoulder, eyes pink-blue and distracted until he notices you.

Then he blushes. Bright. Immediate. Cheeks, ears—flushed like a sunrise.

“There’s something for you,” he mumbles, looking away as if the thought of you seeing it—wearing it—is almost too much to bear. He nods toward the silk bundle. “I… made it. Thought you’d look… divine in it.”

You crouch beside it, fingers trailing along the silk wrapping, savoring the softness before carefully unfolding it. The fabric slips open, revealing the undergarments inside��shimmering, sea-glass delicate. You glance back at him then, eyes teasing.

“Should I put it on?”

Rafayel swallows hard, brush frozen in mid-air. “Yesss. I mean, if… you want to.” His voice cracks just slightly, the tip of his ear glowing like it might catch fire.

You disappear into the adjoining room—there’s a screen for changing, of course—but you leave it just slightly ajar. When you come back out, the set clings to you like seafoam. Rafayel stares—his brush forgotten, his lips parted. For a second, the artist is speechless.

Then, finally, he says softly, reverently:

“I’m never painting anything else again.”

You’re not sure if he means for the next hour, or the rest of his life.

With a small twirl, you step closer to him. The silk shifts with every movement—light, barely there, suggestive in ways that feel like poetry and sin all at once. Rafayel’s gaze follows the curve of your hips, the embroidery over your chest, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard.

His paint-stained fingers twitch at his sides. “Turn around again,” he says, quieter this time. “…Please?”

You do. Slowly. The moment stretches taut between you.

When you face him again, he’s closer. Too close. His hand lifts, hovers just above your waist, not quite touching. “I wanted it to feel like water,” he murmurs, voice rougher now, lower. “But it clings like heat. Like you’re melting into it.”

He finally touches you—fingertips tracing a line along the embroidery near your ribs. His breath stutters. “I don’t know if I want to paint you or pull this off with my teeth.”

You arch a brow. “That’s quite the choice.”

Rafayel leans in, lips brushing your shoulder, his voice a husky rasp against your skin. “Why not both?”

His hips press into you, letting you feel the full weight of his desire—hard, aching, and entirely focused on you. One hand traces the edge of your halter, fingertips ghosting along the lace before he gives it a curious little poke, like he’s testing his own creation. His lips hover just above yours, breath warm, eyes soft and burning all at once.

Then, just above a whisper, he adds—“Either way… I’m going to ruin you beautifully, cutie.”

——————————————————————————

🧡 Caleb

What Caleb wears:

In casual moments—when it’s just him and you in the kitchen, sleeves pushed up, cooking for you—he wears comfortable cotton boxer briefs. Black, sleek, nothing flashy. He’s practical like that. But they hug him just right, sitting low on his hips, making it really hard to focus on the food. And the worst part? He knows. You’ll glance, just once, and he’ll smirk—subtly flexing one ass cheek like it’s a reflex. Just to mess with you. Just to watch you squirm.

Caleb’s gift to you:

It comes in a sleek, dark orange box. You find it on your doorstep after a long day. Tucked on top, folded with military precision, is a tiny origami fighter jet—his old model, of course. Unfolding it reveals a single line, scribbled in his handwriting:

Try it on, or I’ll just imagine it. Either way, I win.—C.

And when you open it:

A high-cut, gravity-defying black lace bodysuit. It’s sheer in all the right places, sculpted with subtle violet shimmer threading through the seams. Where the light hits it, it reflects a dull glow—almost like a nebula.

A thin, matching choker with a clasp shaped like an apple.

And one last piece: a purple silk sash. A tie. A leash. A promise of discipline wrapped in devotion, of control you never had to ask for, of just how far he’ll go to make sure you never forget who you belong to.

Yet the fabric carries just the barest trace of his cologne and… mouthwash(?)

Scene:

You confront him, of course—he left it there on purpose, knowing curiosity would get the better of you. You don’t even try to play it cool. You find him hours later, still at work on The Fleet, posture perfect, all crisp uniform and that infuriating calm. An adjutant’s just finishing a report when you step into the room. Your eyes lock on him like a missile. Caleb doesn’t flinch—doesn’t even turn. Just gives you a quiet, knowing look over his shoulder like he’s been waiting for this exact moment.

“What’s the meaning of this?” you ask, holding the box like evidence, like a challenge.

His gaze drags over you from across the room, slow and deliberate. He uncrosses his arms, brushes a speck of dust from his uniform—measured, precise. Like you’ve interrupted something important, but he’s willing to indulge you.

That Colonel Caleb chill lingers in his eyes… but there’s a glint now. And the faintest curve to his lips.

“You found it,” he says, stepping closer until your breath catches. “Great. I had it made. Custom stitching. Seamless where it matters.”

You narrow your eyes. “So you just decided—?”

“I don’t ‘decide,’” he cuts in smoothly. “But if you really are mine…” his voice drops, dangerously low, “…then I want to be the only one who sees you in this.”

His gloved fingers brush your cheek, then trail down to your collarbone. The heat between you crackles like static in space.

Behind you, the adjutant clears their throat—once. A warning. A presence. Caleb doesn’t even glance their way.

“That’ll be all,” he says, voice low and firm, the kind that doesn’t invite questions. The door hisses shut behind you a moment later.

Then it’s just you. Him. And that charged space between.

“Put it on for me, Pip-squeak.”

It’s not a request. But it’s not entirely a command, either. He’s looking at you like you could refuse—but he knows you won’t.

Caleb shrugs off his coat with practiced ease, draping it over the back of the chair before pulling off his gloves, one finger at a time. He sinks into the seat in a single, fluid motion—then reaches up to loosen his tie, just enough to breathe. His legs spread, posture easy, but there’s nothing casual about the way he watches you.

You turn your back to him as you undress, the room quiet except for the subtle shift of fabric. The black bodysuit slides on smoothly, the silk sash tied loosely at your waist. The lace hugs your curves perfectly.

Caleb leans forward, forearms on knees, purple eyes trailing down your form like a scan. Slowly. Thoroughly.

“Turn around.”

You do, slowly, and when you face him, he’s already rising. He closes the distance in measured strides, hands sliding to your waist, voice low and tight.

He leans in. “You know,” he murmurs against your neck, “I wish I could deploy you in this. No one would dare touch you.”

You smirk. “Jealous, Colonel?”

“Obsessed,” he corrects, voice like a velvet threat. “And completely serious.”

You feel his lips graze your shoulder—soft, then firm. And then—his teeth sink in, just enough to make you gasp. Not to hurt. Just to remind you: you’re his.

“Do you know what I thought about every night when I designed this?”

You breathe out. “What?”

His fingers curl into the sash at your hip. “How fast I could undo it.”

Then he lifts you like it’s nothing, pressing you back against the console with stars spinning behind you—his mouth already trailing down your neck as the fabric slips from your skin. But you don’t see stars—you feel them crash.

Then, without missing a beat, the corners of his mouth curve—just slightly, just enough. “I’m betting it’ll take me ten seconds to undress you… if I take my time.”

——————————————————————————

🩵 Zayne

What Zayne wears:

Zayne is nothing if not understated excellence. Beneath his pristine three-piece suits? Charcoal-gray modal boxer briefs. Soft, breathable, structured—he’d never wear anything flashy or inconvenient. But they fit like they were measured for him, contoured to sit low on his hips beneath that crisp dress shirt. And if you ever catch him with the shirt unbuttoned, sleeves rolled up, forearms scarred and strong? The contrast of clean fabric and rough skin does things to you.

Zayne’s gift to you:

He doesn’t take you shopping. He doesn’t even mention he’s getting you something. It just… appears, neatly folded in a soft satin box inside your closet. Next to it, a small handwritten note in steady script:

The fabric’s hypoallergenic. I know how your skin reacts to lace. I hope the fit is precise—I took the liberty of measuring while you were asleep. —Zayne.

And on the inside:

A silk slip dress, cut short and minimal, in deep forest green with thin black straps that crisscross at the back. The inside is lined with cotton—soft, breathable. So Zayne.

A matching bra and panty set—subtle scalloped trim, no underwire, no push-up. Just comfort and beauty in quiet balance. He knows how to make you feel exquisite without shouting it.

And tucked in one of the folds? A thin bracelet. Jade.

Scene:

He doesn’t even bring it up at first. You only find it after he leaves for a night shift.

The next evening, you bring it up with a wry smile. “So… were you going to mention the intimate gift hiding in my closet, or were you just hoping I’d trip over it?”

Zayne blinks once behind his glasses, setting down his mug of cocoa.

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he says simply. “But I also didn’t want anyone else buying you something that didn’t… suit you.” His gaze drops, lingering on your wrist where you’ve already put on the jade bracelet. “So I took care of it.”

You arch a brow. “Do you want to see it on me?”

His eyes flick up, expression unreadable—but there’s a faint flush climbing up his throat. “That depends.”

“On?”

“If you want me to take it off you too.”

And there it is. The Zayne smirk—so faint, you almost miss it. Almost.

You step into the bedroom after a hot shower, damp hair over your shoulders, body wrapped in the green silk slip. It molds to you, effortless and cool. The straps kiss your shoulder blades, the hem teasing the tops of your thighs.

Zayne is seated at the edge of the bed, shirt undone at the collar, sleeves rolled to the elbows—relaxed in theory, but his eyes are anything but. Behind the silver glint of his glasses, hazel green irises rake over you slowly. Intently. Like you’re a case study he’s about to personally explore.

“You wore it,” he says, voice steady, but lower now. Tight.

“I did,” you reply, stepping closer, letting the silk sway just enough to tempt. “Are you going to examine it?”

He doesn’t answer—not with words. He pulls off his glasses and sets them aside with exacting precision, then leans forward and tugs you between his knees. His hands slide up the backs of your thighs, fingers splaying over silk and skin.

“I’m not your physician right now,” he exhales, his mouth brushing your sternum, “but I still know how to handle delicate things.”

You inhale sharply, and he shifts the slip aside—just a little—enough to make your heart race.

His lips brush the inside of your wrist—soft at first, then slower. He drags his mouth down to the base of your palm, then lets his tongue trace the curve of your finger, you like you’re his favorite candy—something rare, rich, and entirely his.

“…You realize,” he says against your skin, “you’re never wearing this for anyone else.”

You breathe out, quiet, shivering. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

“Good.”

And the way he says that one word, low and clinical and full of heat? It feels like you’re about to be unraveled—one practiced touch at a time.

“I’ve studied anatomy,” he murmurs, gaze unwavering, “but I’ve never wanted to memorize someone like this.”

You tilt your head, a slow smile tugging at your lips. “So what now, doctor Zayne? Want me to act like your study sample?”

His eyes flick down your body, then back up—calm, absolutely smoldering. “Mm. Slow breaths for me, please,” he says softly. “I want to feel every shift under my hands.”

——————————————————————————

🩷 Xavier

What Xavier wears:

For all his ethereal calm and delicate looks, Xavier’s body is not soft. He’s lithe, compact, and stronger than he looks—and his undergarments reflect that contradiction. Sleek. Supportive. Understated. He wears fitted low-rise boxer briefs in pale gray or lavender. Soft, seamless, breathable—so easy to move in you almost forget they’re there. And while size has never been the point, there’s no denying the quiet truth: he’s big. The waistband is low enough that when his sweater rides up while he’s napping on the couch? You catch the edge, just barely. (And no, he’s not unaware. He’s just pretending he is.)

Xavier’s gift to you:

You don’t even realize it’s a gift at first.

You find a small folded bundle on your pillow—no tag, no note, but it smells faintly of that tangy-sweet, citrusy energy drink he drinks… laced with the subtle warmth of vanilla that always seems to linger on his skin. The fabric is impossibly soft. Dreamlike.

A silk cami set, sleeveless, light violet with silvery sheen. The camisole is loose, with barely-there straps and delicate lace at the hem. It looks like starlight.

The shorts are sheer, fluttery, with a ribbon drawstring. If you move too quickly, they shift… dangerously.

There’s a tiny embroidered constellation stitched near the hem.

You realize later that the embroidery thread is pale gold. Subtle. Like he wants you to wear the stars for him.

Scene:

You ask him about it later, holding the fabric between your fingers—right after sharing a burnt pizza he insisted he had under control (he did not).

“Did you leave this on my bed?”

He doesn’t answer right away. Just watches you with that quiet intensity, like he’s still trying to figure out how you got past his walls with nothing but laughter and melted cheese. He tilts his head slightly.

“I thought you might sleep better with it on,” he says softly. “Or off.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Is that a suggestion?”

“No,” he replies, gaze dragging slowly down your figure. “It’s a preference.”

He steps closer, fingers brushing yours as he takes the fabric back from your hand—just long enough to skim his knuckles over your palm before he returns it. His voice drops a note lower.

“Will you wear it tonight?”

You swallow, pulse jumping.

“I might.”

He smiles—barely. But it’s real. “I’ll be upstairs if you need help taking it off.”

Later, when the lights are low and the house is quiet, your phone buzzes.

XAVIER: Did you end up trying it on?

You hesitate, then type:

YOU: Maybe.

There’s a long pause. Then:

XAVIER: Then I hope you’re not expecting sleep.

You stare at the screen, heart skipping.

YOU: Good night, Xav.

Another pause.

XAVIER: Good night… Don’t lock your door.

You wake to find Xavier standing in your doorway—messy silvery-blond hair, expression unreadable, sleep still tugging at his lashes. You’re wearing the silk cami set, curled under your blanket. He blinks once, slowly, as if committing the image to memory.

“…Door was unlocked,” he murmurs. “You sleep too lightly.”

“I sleep just fine,” you say, voice husky, watching his eyes flick down the curve of your thigh where the blanket’s slipped. “So why are you here?”

He walks in, slow and barefoot. “I was thinking about you.”

“And?”

His fingers brush the ribbon of your waistband, tugging lightly—just once, enough to let the silk shift against your skin. “And I wanted to see if you look better in… or out of it.”

You lift an eyebrow. “You’ve been staring long enough to know.”

His eyes drag up your body with excruciating calm, but there’s something darker flickering beneath the stillness. He leans down, brushing a kiss to your temple, then your cheek, then just beneath your jaw—lingering there.

“I’m thorough. Still deciding,” he murmurs, breath warm and slow, thick with something you feel more than hear.

He undresses with quiet efficiency, unbuttoning his pajama shirt, folding it once before setting it aside, then slipping out of the pants with the same composed ease—until he’s left in nothing but his underwear.

Then he slides under the covers, pulls you into his chest, and whispers against your ear,

“You can keep yours on—for now.”

But his hand is already resting low on your waist, fingers curling just beneath the hem of your top, like he’s giving himself permission to explore later—inch by inch, breath by breath.

Then, without a word, he takes your hand and guides it along the plane of his chest, down the firm line of his stomach—slow, careful, like he wants you to feel how hard it is for him to stay gentle.

And just when your fingertips brush the edge of his waistband—he leans in, voice low and rough with need.

“This is me… trying to be good for you.”

Your fingertips slip just beneath the waistband, barely testing the edge of skin. His breath catches, and for a moment he doesn’t move. Then his hand wraps gently around your wrist—not to stop you, just to feel you there.

His voice drops. “But if you keep doing that… I won’t be good much longer.”

——————————————————————————

Writer’s note: YE. I’m sorry. Nobody asked for this. I spent my Saturday night writing 3k words of underwear headcanon and then gave it the gentlest proofread over my Sunday morning coffee like that somehow made it respectable. Totally normal, balanced behavior. I’m thriving. Unhinged, yes—but thriving. Should I be finishing the Bear AU pilot? Absolutely. Am I derailed by one intrusive thought? Also yes. But! I will finish the pilot this week. Prrroooomise. I should touch grass… but let’s be real, that’s what triggered this spiral in the first place. Okey then, thank you for reading 🫶🏻

[phantomrose96]

Honestly I recommend everyone learn just a littttle bit of CSS because it really is powerful and just makes bits and pieces of your internet experience more convenient.

Right now I'm cataloguing recipes I've really enjoyed, just trying to get them all in one place. Many of these are instagram recipes and, because I don't trust link rot (aka the possibility that the instagram link goes dead one day), I'm including a screenshot of the recipe along with the link.

But instagram on desktop... looks like this

(Link, for credit. It's a good recipe)

I obviously could just copy-paste the recipe out of there. But a screenshot would be cleaner for how I'm cataloguing these.

And as-is, I'd have to scroll the whole height of that small right-side window about 4 times to fit it all.

But actually... I can just resize that div holding that whole right-side content

Basically I

hit f12 to open the dev tools

clicked the element finder

clicked on an element inside the recipe side

followed it up the tree until I found the element holding the whole recipe side (do this by hovering the div in the dev tools panel way on the right, then hovering upward and up until I find the element which is the highest up that still only contains the recipe-side content)

in the element.style part, set "width: 1000px" and "height: 1500px"

(I notice the width seems to still be less than 1000px, even though it got bigger)

likely suggests there's an element above it with a max-width set

go up the tree higher until I find the element with the max-width and uncheck that style

screenshot ready

Maybe that sounded complicated but it took me probably 20-30 seconds

And this isn't just about screenshotting recipes like.

website with an annoying gif? select gif, delete gif

do you want a clean screenshot of a digital receipt for record-keeping without a large company banner or irrelevant information? delete unnecessary elements, adjust widths, screenshot

SOMETIMES, you can bypass paywalls if they're relying on something like overflow: hidden, or an overlay in the way, or some JS that runs (you can disable JS in the dev tools)

lost the jpg/png file you used for your profile picture and size doesn't totally matter? grab it from the img src while logged in. (you might even be able to find it in a bigger size by changing the url query parameters)

color contrast on an article really bad? find and change background color. find and change font color

want to make a funny fake screenshot without learning photoshop? just edit the page content in the dev tools

This isn't about like being good enough to write scripts or browser extensions. Really if you just have some basic HTML/CSS understanding a hat worth of tricks, you can make so many little adjustments in your favor.

[chubsonthemoon]

It is done! This is The Death of Translation, originally written in English by @landwriter, translated into Mandarin by @thirrith. Binding is dos-à-dos, with English version on one side and Mandarin on the other. Bookcloth was handwoven by me, on my rigid heddle loom :3

More under the cut!

Typeset: Fanbinders are Liars

Full stop, this typeset would not have been possible without Eth and all their patience, enthusiasm, and willingness to do even more translating! I reached out to them *checks watch* nearly a year ago in July 2023 (lololol), asking if I could use their translation of TDOT in a surprise bind I wanted to send along with Gloam's author copy of Flower King. They were kind enough to say yes, and even kinder to answer my questions when I reached out six months later in January, when I was finally able to start work on the typeset.

We talked about the many delicious things that are bound to come up when discussing translating not just from English to Mandarin, but also from digital space to meatspace. Some topics I had anticipated, like font questions, translating the colophon, etc. But even with the topics I thought I'd prepared for, there were still things that came up that both surprised and delighted: for example, while AO3's website allows for italics in Mandarin--

--my publishing program doesn't (or at least, it doesn't without needing to manually tilt every character by about 10 degrees). So as a workaround, Eth suggested changing these cases of italics to the font 华文楷体:

Through no one's fault but my own, this ended up being only slightly less work than manually tilting every instance of italics--I wanted to be sure that I got all of them, so I ended up doing a lot of double-checking manually anyway, instead of relying solely on the Search function. There was a lot of cross-referencing with the Word document that Eth was kind enough to provide, as well as squinting and general swearing. I also did the same for the uses of Latin script, manually styling each instance as Garamond to keep it consistent with the English edition:

The only other time I've had to do font surgery this intensive is probably for my typeset for Tell Me About the Big Bang, which I had to port over from a PDF. Folks, hell on earth. Do not recommend XD I remember squinting at my monitor as I had to visually confirm every instance of italics, thinking I will never do this again. Welp, four years later, here were are: fanbinders are liars, LMAO. At the very least, using Eth's Word document at least allowed me to search by styles, so it was a little easier on my eyes. 🙏

Is there a script that I might've been able to use if I was more code-savvy? Probably. But I figured going at it sledgehammer style would be the least hair-pulling way to get the job done, weirdly enough. Still, despite my best efforts, there are a few instances of PMingLiU to Garamond and PMingLiU to 华文楷体 that I know I missed, and I know I missed them because I caught them after I'd printed/cut/folded/sewn/glued (cue more swearing), so Gloam and Eth, my apologies >.< please consider them artifacts of a uniquely handmade object ajslkdjfs

In addition to the fonts, there were also some other fun things Eth and I discussed, like how to translate the notes I usually provide on the colophons! In addition to information on fonts, I also usually include some variation of:

This private, limited edition published by chubsthehamster (Moonham Press, imprint of Renegade Publishing) in 2024. This is chubsthehamster's personal copy. Out of three existing copies, this is the first.

The thing that came up with this, which still tickles my brain to this day, was how Eth chose how to translate "Moonham Press, imprint of Renegade Publishing." To get a better sense of what word to use for "imprint," they asked what the relationship was between Moonham Press and Renegade Publishing, which got me thinking about the relationship between my lil imprint and the wonderful @renegadeguild:

What's all very funny about all of this is that we are now, in fact, going by the name "Renegade Bookbinding Guild," per our most recently updated Code of Conduct. While this renders the wording I asked for out of date (and thus, the wording that made it into the book out of date :'D), I think it's also a testament to how cool the work @renegadeguild is doing--like any artform, fanbinding is alive, with its own evolving language, communities, and ideas about the craft. And I love it, I love it so much. (Was this also a plug for our new-ish website? Perhaps).

There's more I could say here, but this post is already going to be long enough, so I'll move on for now! If you get anything from this section, it's that @thirrith is amazing and very patient and kind, and I'm so grateful that we got to talk shop together. Thank you so much for all your invaluable help with this, Eth! I hope the typeset, though undoubtedly flawed, does your hard work justice!

Binding: Or, SO Much Math. Like, So Much, Guys. (It was worth it, though!)

Whoo, boy! So math was never my strong suit in school, but when I set out to do this bind last year, that wasn't an issue. At first. The dos-à-dos binding, if anything, just requires a little bit of finagling on the usual case-bound format--a bit more math if you want to do an all-cloth cover, like I planned on doing, but nothing I couldn't work out with some trial and error. (My prototype below!)

Then came February, when I took a weaving class with my friend, and then everything kinda exploded.

My original idea was to use some green Duo bookcloth I had on hand (this color, actually)--for those of you not initiated into the Duo cult, Duo is a Rayon bookcloth with a very devoted fan following in Renegade. It's very pretty; the Rayon weave is one color, and the paper backing is usually complementary color, so it has this cool two-toned effect. Duo is in high demand in Renegade circles because sadly, the company that manufactures it went out of business last year. (Although I've heard rumors recently that there's another company making something similar, but the cloth has a really high purchase requirement and is, like, for businesses only I think).

Anyway, I also wanted to have a gold line around the whole book as a kind of bellyband/obi to further connect the two versions of the story (another reason why I chose the dos-à-dos format to begin with heh), as you can see from my scribbled notes here--

But alas! I knew going in that adhering things to Duo is often Problematic, thanks to one very painful experience trying to get some iron-on foil on another bind (the textured surface of Duo just makes it kinda hard to stick or paint stuff on it). So if I wanted a clean, continuous line, the remaining options were to either paint it on a strip of paper that I'd somehow...adhere to the cloth? Or maybe cut different slices of bookcloth and glue them on. I wasn't satisfied with either of those options, though.

Then--the weaving class. I made a scarf, and I love it and I loved making it. But the whole time, I'll not lie, my thoughts were elsewhere.

In short, my decision to weave my own bookcloth kinda came from a few different factors:

The desire to attempt to recreate Duo, that elusive beauty, the one that got away, etc. (I have several yards in my stash, but still). Others have also attempted to recreate it, and I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring.

My current spiral into the deep hole that is fiber arts (it started with crochet, then knitting, then sewing, then weaving, then spinning, and now I'm eyeing quilting! Please help me).

The gold line. It kept bugging me. And when I found weaving, I just thought there was something very neat about the process of actually making the cloth for a dos-à-dos binding from scratch, and especially for this binding. I wanted to bind a story about translation (or rather, the death of it, and yet still the necessity of it--how we must try to communicate, despite of, or perhaps precisely because of, everything that gets lost in the spaces between people, and the tragedy of that loss, and the beauty of what makes it through, and the love always present in the effort regardless), and also, the translation of that story. Weaving is a very meditative process, and with every pass of the shuttle, back and forth, building slowly but surely the fabric that would hold the story that Gloam had written and that Eth had translated, I thought a lot about translation, and the gaps between people, and how we choose our words not just when translating, but when we speak at all. From a design perspective, I used the same colors I would've used had I chosen the Duo bookcloth--green and gold--so the design wasn't too altered in terms of color scheme. But I think the choice to weave the bookcloth--the thing that bound it all together--made the project take on a completely new meaning for me, both in process and in scope, one that hadn't been there when I started. I saw the warp, perhaps, as the original story, laying the groundwork for the weft, the translation; or maybe it was the other way around, with the translation providing the scaffolding for its own, new meaning, choices that Eth had to make with this word or phrase or another building something new, something translated, and the original a live, moving thing that wove over and under each word turned phrase turned story; or maybe it was both. Maybe it didn't matter which was which, in the end. And as I wove, the thing that connected them, that gold line that had started all of this, slowly formed.

All that to say: Good God, was there a lot of math. So much math. That prototype pictured above was actually made specifically so I could calculate exactly how much I needed to weave, lol, because while I certainly had enough thread, I didn't want to have to warp more than once. I'd learned the basics in my class, but the training wheels came off here. I wanted to make my own custom fabric, which meant calculating things like ends per inch, picks per inch, loom waste, shrinkage after washing, the width of that damn gold line, how much I'd need for the hinge, the turn-ins, the boards--the whole nine yards (I didn't actually weave nine yards tho heh). It was all absolutely worth it in the end--so challenging and so, so rewarding!

(And my final reason for weaving the bookcloth? Not gonna lie, It was because I just wanted to see if I could do it LOL. I love trying at least one new thing with each of my binds, and this was it for this project. While I've been bookbinding for a few years now, I'm still very much a beginner weaver, and I'm so excited to continue to learn and experiment! Also, here's a video of me unwinding the cloth from the loom, heh. I used 10/2 Perle cotton in gold and green colors :3)

Also, turns out, you can back handmade cloth the same way you can any other cloth! I backed it using my usual heat-n-bond method, and with some Unryu Tissue in the color Forest. Since the cloth itself is a bit transparent, there are a bunch of really fun fibers you can see when it's held up to the light, but which aren't visible when the cloth is glued down to the boards. Still, knowing they're there still makes me happy :D

Finally, capping all this off, is one final, small detail I really liked: ginkgo leaf endpapers :3 this one's for me and Eth and Gloam specifically <3

Aaaand that's all from me for today, folks! Thus ends (several months late XD) my last Binderary project for the year. This was probably my most ambitious bind to date, and gosh it was so, so much fun.

And, of course, thank you so much to Gloam for sharing your story, and Eth for translating it. I can't wait for y'all to receive your copies soon!

All my love! <3

[the-unidentified-author]

To Love Is to Antagonize | LT. Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd | Top Gun: Maverick

Warnings/ Tags: SMUT[NSFW], teasing, slow build, slow burn?, sly glances, shy Bob, not so shy Bob, rough, loving, talks you through it, reader wears a bikini, no descriptions of the readers body, horny bob, frustrated bob, shirtless bob, unprotected p in v, you have to keep quiet, hand over mouth, bob knows what hes doing, bobs hand on readers body, truth or dare, mention of boobs, breeding kink? consensual!

Summary: A camping trip with the squad is the perfect opportunity for you to get to know Bob a little better. But, of course things can't ever be easy. Nat decides that the best way for you to finally get to jump, Bobs bones is if you antagonize him until the shy, polite part of him gives way to the feral, dirty minded freak he really is.

A/n: I had to split this into individual parts as editing a huge chunk of text actually almost fried my brain. Only the first chapters are posted here because this fic is LONG. There is a link HERE, and at the bottom of this post to the completed fic on AO3. Enjoy!

This fic is inspired by the plan ; robert 'bob' floyd by @geminiwritten, I couldn't stop thinking about it, I think it changed my brain chemistry. Give it a read! If you haven't already!!!

Word Count: 29,075

Not my gif, if its yours and you would like me to remove it just ask <3

I think this is one of the longest, fully completed fics that I have ever written. I don’t even care if there are mistakes and if it’s shit. I had so much fun writing it and I am fucking proud that I finished it!!!

Chapter 1:

The late afternoon sun slanted through the half-open blinds, painting the cluttered room with warm, golden light. You were sitting cross-legged on the scuffed hardwood floor, your backpack propped open beside you like a hungry mouth, methodically sorting through the piles of camping gear strewn around you.

Phoenix, your roommate and perennial mischief-maker, lounged on the mussed bed, idly tossing a balled-up sock in the air and catching it with a flourish. Their dark eyes danced with suppressed laughter, and you could practically see the gears turning in their head.

"Hey," Phoenix said suddenly, a grin spreading across her face like a slow sunrise. "You notice how Bob's been acting around you lately?"

You looked up from your packing, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. "What do you mean?"

Phoenix snorted, rolling her eyes with exaggerated patience. "Come on, don't play dumb. He's been all flustered and tongue-tied, tripping over himself whenever you're nearby. It's adorable, really."

You rolled your eyes, trying to suppress a smile as you turned back to your gear. "He does not."

"Does too!" Phoenix retorted, sitting up with a smirk. "I bet he's got a massive crush on you. He's just too shy to make a move."

You scoffed, reaching for a rolled-up sleeping bag and tucking it into your backpack with a little more force than necessary. "You're imagining things. Bob's just… Bob. He's like that with everyone."

"Nope. I know what I see," Phoenix insisted, leaning forward with a conspiratorial wink. "Mark my words, something's gonna happen on this trip. All those long, moonlit walks in the woods? The romantic campfire stories? It's the perfect setup."

You crossed your arms, giving Phoenix a skeptical look. “Hardly romantic—the whole squad's going to be there. Plus, Bob’s just shy. He’s like that with everyone.”

Phoenix grinned, leaning back on her elbows, unshaken. “Exactly. That’s what makes it even more adorable. Shy guys are always the most intense when they finally get the guts to make a move. And trust me, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. It’s not just friendly.”

You rolled your eyes, stuffing a few more socks into your pack. “He’s probably just nervous. It’s a big trip, big group—don’t overthink it.”

Phoenix snorted softly, eyes narrowing playfully. “Nope. I think he's got it bad—secretly scripting long walks, staring at your profile while pretending to be lost in thought. Trust me, I’ve seen those little glances—you’re not that oblivious, right?”

You let out an exasperated breath, shaking your head. “Please. It’s all in your head. Bob’s a nice guy, but I think you’re reading way too much into it.”

Phoenix sat up, her expression turning playful but insistent. “You’re missing the signs. Those subtle hints? The way he fidgets around you, trying to hide how much he’s staring? That’s crush 101. And I’m telling you, something’s gonna happen—probably accidental, probably sweet. But definitely happening.”

You sighed, feeling a mixture of amusement and awkwardness. “You’re impossible.”

Phoenix grinned wider, crossing her arms exaggeratedly. “Hey, I’m just saying—if I were him, I’d be too nervous to say anything directly.”

You blinked, caught between amusement and a little flutter of nerves. “You’ve got enough confidence for both of us.”

Phoenix leaned in slightly, a sly smile curling her lips. “Maybe. Or perhaps I just know how these things work. The subtle signals, the waiting game. Trust me, this trip’s going to turn into something pretty interesting.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “Even if you’re right, it doesn’t matter. Bob’s far too shy to admit anything, even if he’s got a crush. He’s polite and nervous—he wouldn’t make a move, not even if I practically waved it in his face.”

Phoenix’s eyes sparkled with mischief, a grin tugging at her lips. “That’s precisely where you come in. You just need to drive him absolutely insane—that’s how you’ll get his attention.”

You looked at her, skeptical. “What? How?”

Phoenix sat forward, excitement laced her words. “Listen—I’m talking about just enough teasing, a little flirtation. Show him a little more of that smile, a little suggestive glance now and then. And the best way? Giving him glimpses of your cleavage—nothing crazy, just enough to make his head spin. Make him realise what he’s been missing.”

You felt your cheeks flush but tried to stay nonchalant. “You want me to flirt with him?”

Phoenix winked, eyes glinting with scheming amusement. “Exactly. You’re gorgeous—what’s the worst that could happen? Just enough teasing that he starts second-guessing everything, wondering if you’re interested. When he finally gets it—trust me, the guy’s a man, manners can only hold him back for so long.” She grinned wider. “You’re the one who’s got the power in this game. Just give him enough glimpses, enough softly spoken hints, and watch him unravel. He won’t be able to resist eventually.”

You raised an eyebrow, struggling not to smile. “You want me to blue-ball, poor Bob?”

Phoenix snorted, batting you lightly with the balled-up sock. “Please, it’s not about torturing him. This might be the only way to get him to actually admit he likes you.” She paused, eyes sparkling. “Shy boys never just come out and say it. You have to make it so obvious they can’t help themselves. But honestly, isn’t that half the fun?”

You snorted, cheeks warming. “So I just flirt him into a confession?”

She grinned, clearly enjoying herself. “Exactly! Shy boys are always so much fun—every glance, every accidental brush, it drives them wild. It’s adorable. Besides, you like a chase too, don’t you?”

You shrugged, not trusting yourself to meet her gaze, though you felt that flutter of anticipation. “Maybe. Just a little.”

Phoenix nudged your leg with her foot, her grin impossibly wide. “Trust me. If you want him to make a move, this is the way. It’ll be fun for both of you.”

You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling now. “You’re dangerous, Phoenix.”

She winked. “You haven’t seen anything yet. Just start with a few smiles and a little less hoodie—he won’t know what hit him.”

Chapter 2:

The gravel crunched beneath your boots as the squad clustered in the busy car park, vehicles parked haphazardly, gear spilling out. The late afternoon sun cast a warm glow, shadows stretching long as everyone prepared to head into the woods.

Jake sparred with Bradley, both bouncing on their toes, fists raised. Jake’s grin was wide, teasing as he threw quick jabs, while Bradley’s smirk matched his playful aggression, both clearly enjoying themselves.

Reuben was doubled over, roaring with laughter, while Mickey stared at the map, eyebrows raising as he took in the scene. “Wait, wait—what? So, we’re hiking before setting up camp? I thought we just show up, pitch tents, and chill,” Mickey said, shaking his head with a weird mix of surprise and annoyance.

Reuben chuckled, smacking Mickey on the back. “Dude, you seriously thought they were just gonna drive us here and call it a day? Nah, buddy. You gotta earn your s'mores.”

Mickey looked genuinely puzzled, crossing his arms. “Nah, I just thought—y’know, a chill weekend. I didn’t expect a full hike before we even set up.” He shrugged, a wide grin curling his lips. “But, hey, I’ll survive. Just didn’t plan on breaking a sweat today, that’s all.”

Phoenix leaned casually against a van, arms crossed, enjoying the scene with her usual mischievous smile. She shot you a quick glance, clearly amused. “Well, Mickey, think of it as pre-camping cardio. Nothing like a good hike to kick off the weekend, right?”

Meanwhile, standing near the back, Bob was perfectly still. His backpack was already on, buckled tight, everything arranged with military precision—every strap and pocket exactly in place. His gear was spotless, each item meticulously packed, as if he had just stepped out of uniform instead of the chaos of the car park.

He watched quietly, calm and composed, like he’d seen it all before—the sparring, the teasing, the group’s playful fuss. His gaze flicked over Jake and Bradley still going at it, Mickey’s reaction, everyone joking around, but his posture remained steady, as if ready for whatever unfolded next.

You caught his eye for a split second, and he offered you a shy smile before awkwardly shifting his focus back to your teammates. His demeanour was as sharp and precise as his gear—completely at ease, almost military in how ready he seemed to face whatever came.

The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a warm amber glow over the busy car park. Vehicles scattered in every direction, gear spilling out like a jumble of chaos. The smell of fresh pine and earth drifted in the air as everyone started to gather their packs.

Natasha, or Nat as everyone called her, pushed off from the van with a confident grin. "Alright, folks, let's get moving before the sun dips too low. No dilly-dallying—get those boots clicking."

She glanced around at the excited crowd, her eyes twinkling. “You all good on your gear? No forgotten snacks or emergency marshmallows?” she added with a mischievous wink.

Jake clapped Bob on the back, a friendly, almost teasing gesture that made Bob straighten his glasses and adjust his already pristine gear with practiced precision. He let himself be led by the group, his posture steady and military-precise, ready for whatever was coming next.

The others grabbed their packs, slinging bags over shoulders and exchanging quick, energetic glances. With a collective nod, they turned toward the trail leading into the woods, footsteps crunching on gravel as they began their trek.

Natasha’s eyes shifted from the group to you. She sidled up quietly, lowering her voice so just you could hear. “Hey, have you packed everything we agreed on for Operation Flirt with bob until he breaks and jumps your bones?”

Your eyes flicked to her, and she grinned mischievously. Without missing a beat, she leaned in close, whispering with a conspiratorial wink, “You know… the whole mission to make Bob think he’s missing out on the best thing that’s ever happened to him’”

She gave you a playful nudge. “Think you’re ready for it?”

"As I will ever be." you replied with a shake of your head and a soft smile.

The trail narrowed as you followed the group into the shade of the pines, leaves crunching beneath your boots. When you’d packed with Nat, she’d settled on your hiking outfit with gleeful precision: tight black cycling shorts that clung to your thighs and left nothing for the imagination, paired with a slick, supportive sports bra—probably the most engineering you’d ever worn under your clothes. You’d thrown a zip-up hoodie on top, tugged just low enough to almost hide the curve of your breasts, though not quite.

Nat had eyed you critically before you left, giving a brisk nod of approval. “Perfect. Athletic, strategic, and just distracting enough. Plenty for him to think about while pretending he’s focused on the route.”

Now, as the hike stretched on, bits of sunlight filtered down through the branches, occasionally catching on the bare length of your legs or the hint of your silhouette beneath the hoodie. Each time the trail bent, or you adjusted your straps, you felt eyes on you—Bob’s eyes, in particular. He tried valiantly to keep his gaze front and centre, but every few minutes, he’d look your way, glasses glinting, cheeks suspiciously warm, quickly shifting his focus back to his boots.

You feigned obliviousness, letting your conversation drift loosely around Nat, Mickey, and the others ahead. A casual laugh, a stretch overhead to fix your backpack strap, revealing just a sliver more skin. Bob, walking beside you, never said a word about it. But the hush in his throat, the way he fumbled with his water bottle, the uncharacteristic distraction in his step—all gave him away.

His composure stayed in place by sheer force of will, but every so often he'd fidget with his gear, or awkwardly clear his throat, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

The trees finally opened onto the edge of a small lake, sunlight flickering silver and gold across the rippling surface. The campsite itself was tucked beneath a tall stand of pines, the ground carpeted with needles and moss so soft it muted every step. Birdsong drifted down from somewhere high in the branches, and the water lapped gently against the stones lining the shore. To one side, a weathered fire pit marked the heart of the clearing, already circled by flat-topped logs and half-buried stones for makeshift seating. Across the water, a distant ridge glazed in late-afternoon light promised privacy and peace—your group the only intruders on a scene so still it almost felt untouched.

Mickey shrugged off his pack with a huff, bending from the waist and letting it fall with an exaggerated grunt. “Honestly, that was at least twice the walk it looked on the map,” he groaned, but his complaints trailed off as he turned to the water, unable to hide a wide, genuine smile. “This is gorgeous, though. Totally, worth it.”

The others scattered, Jake and Bradley immediately making a beeline for the fire pit, clapping each other on the back as they poked at the charred logs and debated how best to arrange things. Reuben was already eyeing the shoreline, calculating the best spot to drop his gear and maybe sneak in a stone-skimming contest before dark. Bob, immaculate as ever, had set down his pack and was surveying the perimeter—probably cataloguing landmarks and escape routes, you thought, amused.

As you stretched your arms and let your muscles relax, Natasha sidled up, her face bright with playful intent. She nudged your side, voice low and brimming with delight. “So,” she whispered, not even glancing at the lake, “did you see the way Bob couldn’t take his eyes off you the whole hike up here? He’s lucky he didn’t walk straight into a tree.”

You shot Natasha a sly look, unable to keep the smile off your face. “How long do you think it’ll take before he finally snaps and says something?”

Natasha grinned, eyes sparkling as she surveyed the group’s bustling chaos. “That depends. If you’re planning to keep up the subtle torture, I’d give it another day. But if you really want to push him over the edge…” She arched a brow in your direction. “You did bring that absolutely scandalous bikini, didn’t you?”

Heat crept into your cheeks—part nerves, part excitement. “Maybe. Though I might need a bodyguard if I actually walk out in it. It’s barely more than a couple of strings.”

Natasha barked a quiet laugh. “Perfect. Honestly, after the day we’ve had, a dip in the lake is non-negotiable tomorrow morning. I want to see if Bradley and Jake can actually swim, or if they just flex near the shore.”

You nudged her side, lowering your voice. “You’re just hoping Bob short-circuits.”

“I’m hoping everyone short-circuits,” she shot back, grinning. “We’ll swim, you will act normal, and I will watch Bob for a reaction. Tomorrow?” She glanced up at the fading sun. “I’m thinking coffee by the lake at sunrise. Possibly an early swim—just the two of us. That’ll set the mood for the whole day.”

You spun an innocent look her way. “You mean, Operation break bob, phase two?”

Natasha’s grin grew wicked. “Exactly. Tonight campfire, stories, and just enough flirting that Bob can’t sleep. Tomorrow, bikini entrance and a whole new level of distraction. Ready for it?”

You looked out at the water, sunlight gleaming off the small ripples, feeling anticipation buzz along your skin. “Absolutely. Let’s make this a trip to remember.”

Chapter 3:

The path down by the lake rippled with the gold of the lowering sun. You tugged your hoodie back on, leaving your pack behind for the short walk, and Bob fell into step beside you. Before you’d even left the rough mossy boundary of the campsite, he paused and crouched beside his pack—already arranged in a neat, regulation-perfect stack. With practiced ease, he unzipped a small pocket and pulled out a slim foldable saw, testing the hinge before stashing it in his back pocket.

You blinked, caught somewhere between admiration and amusement. Of course, Bob came prepared for everything, but it still surprised you—the rest of you just grabbed sticks and hoped for the best, but Bob had clearly thought this through.

He glanced at the tree line with a quiet sort of certainty. “Best place for dry wood’s usually up by the rocks,” he said, as the two of you stepped out into the deepening green. “It stays out of the wind and the ground drains faster. Less likely to be rotted.”

You shot him a sidelong smile, letting the admiration show just a little. “No wonder Nat keeps you as her back seater,” you teased, falling into step beside him as you followed the trail toward the rocks. “You’re like a human survival manual—she’ll never let you out of her sight with skills like that.”

A faint flush crept up Bob’s neck. He ducked his head, but not before you caught the ghost of a proud, shy smile flickering across his face. “Well, she likes things to run smooth,” he mumbled, adjusting his grip on the saw. “It’s easier to be prepared. I like making sure nothing gets missed.”

You nudged him lightly, grinning. “And here I thought you just wanted an excuse to show off all your special gear. Very impressive.”

He laughed softly, the sound low and genuine, glasses slipping a fraction down his nose. “Trust me—if I was showing off, I’d have brought the portable espresso machine.”

You arched an eyebrow. “Next trip, then?”

This time, he glanced over, braver somehow. “Deal.”

The rocks tumbled in mossy clusters, and Bob scanned the ground until he found a branch that looked promising. He appraised a fallen pine, then knelt, rolling up his sleeves with a practiced flick. The muscles in his forearms flexed beneath golden skin as he braced the saw and set to work.

You let your gaze linger, indulging for just a moment—the slice of his jaw in profile, the almost methodical way he worked, each motion deliberate. There was a quiet concentration to him, the steady back-and-forth of the saw and the way the light caught on his dampening hairline. If Phoenix could see you now, she’d be snickering in the underbrush.

Bob paused, breath shallow, and wiped his brow with the back of his hand. “This wood is stubborn,��� he said, not quite meeting your eyes, chest rising and falling with the effort.

You offered him a teasing smile, stepping closer but not quite taking over. “I’m impressed. Honestly, I thought you were all brains and field manuals—but you’re not so bad with your hands, either.”

He glanced at you then, startled, and for a beat you let your gaze drop—lingering, suggestive—before you grinned and bent to begin gathering the cut branches. Bob coughed, looking suddenly desperate to concentrate solely on the saw, but you didn’t miss the flush creeping up his neck again.

Your mind wandered wickedly: there was something undeniably hot about Bob like this, strips of sunlight freckling his arms, intent on the task, something less shy and more commanding taking over as he worked. If this was what a camping trip could offer, you’d gladly volunteer for wood-gathering duty every time.

You let your fingers graze his as you reached for a branch, close enough that he’d feel it—a quiet spark under the guise of teamwork. He flinched slightly, then immediately pulled his hand back, cheeks flushed.

“S-sorry, that was—my fault,” he stammered, though you both knew it wasn’t. He looked at the ground as if willing it to swallow him.

You fought the urge to smile, a quiet satisfaction blooming in your chest. Phoenix would have a field day if she could see him now.

He collected himself and cleared his throat, not quite meeting your eyes. “I think we’ve got enough,” he managed, stacking the freshly cut branches at his feet. “We should, um… gather it up and head back.”

You nodded, biting back a smirk. If your goal was to gently rattle him, you were definitely on the right track. Without another word, you stooped to gather the wood—close enough that your shoulders touched for just a heartbeat longer than necessary. As you straightened, you caught the brief hesitation in his peripheral gaze, his eyes lingering at the edge of your hoodie for a moment too long. You pretended not to notice, busying yourself with the smooth rhythm of stacking branches.

Then you started back toward camp, feeling the heat of his stolen glances still trailing after you all the way through the dappled light.

A Link to the COMPLETE FIC ON AO3

A Link to My Complete Inventory

[megyulmi]

Suho asks Sieun, “Have you been living well?” Those words, once a last greeting, became a greeting of the beginning again. – from 『Next Actor Choi Hyunwook』

U: Sitting in a wheelchair, he only says three lines. Though short, I thought they were so inherently Suho.

S: As an actor, it’s been three years since he played Ahn Suho. Maybe that’s why he came to the set with much more pressure and worry than I expected. The script, too, had only three lines, but the actual dialogue was different. In the script, it was written as “Have you been well(잘 지냈냐)?” but Hyunwook changed it to “Have you been living well(잘 살았냐)?”. I only noticed the difference during editing. That was Suho’s first line during the last time he went to Sieun’s house in Class 1, and I realized the actor changed it to reflect that connection.

The middle line, “Who are those people in the back(저기 뒤에 분들은 누구셔)?” stayed the same. But Hyunwook said that line didn’t feel right in his mouth, so after a couple of takes, we cut it on set. However, we wanted to keep the intention, so we ended up restoring it during editing. To be honest, in Suho’s eyes, he probably couldn’t even see who was in the back. He was only looking at Yeon Sieun. Maybe Hyunwook wanted to cut that line because suddenly shifting his gaze away from Sieun to someone else felt too difficult?

The next line was, “Our Sieun has grown up, made friends too(우리 시은이 다 컸네, 친구도 생기고),” but Hyunwook condensed it into “It is good to see(보기 좋네).” Looking back, if we’d kept the original, it would’ve felt too contrived and overly explanatory of the director’s intent. So, Choi Hyunwook… he’s really something, isn’t he?

They fall into the same sleep. During the seasons when the Catcher* was gone, the children fell, got hurt, and rose again. Sieun, now the Catcher of the new friends, comes to find an old friend who has finally awakened from sleep. Suho asks Sieun, “Have you been living well?” Those words, once a last greeting, became a greeting of the beginning again.

*translating 파수꾼 (Watchman, Guardian, Sentinel) as the Catcher to keep the reference to The Catcher in the Rye in tact.

[vaadazen-codes]

How To Get Started Making Visual Novels

Wanna make a visual novel? Or maybe you've seen games like Our Life, Blooming Panic, Doki Doki Literature Club, etc. and wanna make something like that? Good news, here's a very basic beginners guide on how to get started in renpy and what you need to know going in! Before you start, I highly recommend looking at my last post about writing a script for renpy just to make it easier on you!

LONG POST AHEAD

Obviously, our first step is downloading it from their website

thankfully, its right on the home page of their site. Follow basica program installation steps and run the program. I highly recommend pinning it to your task bar to make it easier to access.

From there, you're met with the renpy app, it's a little daunting at first but let's talk about what all these buttons are for.

Projects

This part is simple, it just lists the current projects in the chosen directory. You probably won't have any in there of your own. You should still see Tutorial and The Question!

Both of those default projects are super helpful in their own ways, i highly recommend testing out the tutorial and playing around with it just to get comfortable with some of the basics.

Create New Project

The first step to actually making your game into a game!

You'll be met with a prompt letting you know that the project is being made in English and that you can change it. You can click Continue.

From here, you'll be asked to input a project name! Put in your games title, or even a placeholder title since this Information can be changed later! (this is also the title the folder will be in your file browser, be sure to name it something you won't overlook)

Now we get to choose our resolution!

If you have no idea what to choose, go for 1920x1080! This is the standard size for most computer monitors and laptops, but it will still display with moderately decent quality on 4k monitors too!

You can choose 3840x2160 as well. This is 2x the measurements of the default, with the same ration. These dimensions are considered 4k. Keep in mind, your image files will be bigger and can cause the game to have a larger size to download.

Now we get to choose our color scheme!

Renpy has some simple default options with the 'light mode' colors being the bottom two rows, and the 'dark mode' colors being the toop two rows.

You can pick anything here, but I like to choose something that matches my projects vibes/colors better. Mostly because depending on how in depth you go with the ui, it minimizes the amount of changes I need to make later.

Click continue and give it a minute. Note: If it says "not responding" wait a moment without clicking anything. It can sometimes freeze briefly during the process.

Now we should be back at our home screen, with our new project showing. Let's talk about allll that stuff on the right now.

Open Directory

This just opens that particular folder in your local file explorer!

game - is all the game files, so your folders for images, audio, saves, and your game files like your script, screens, and more.

base - this is the folder that the game folder is inside of. You can also find the errors and log txt files in here.

images - takes you to your main images folder. This is where you wanna put all of your NON gui images, like your sprites, backgrounds, and CGs. You can create folders inside of this and still call them in the script later. EX: a folder for backgrounds , a folder for sprites for character a, a seperate folder for spirtes for character b, etc.

audio - Takes you to the default audio folder. This is empty, but you can put all your music and sound effects here!

gui - brings up the folder containing all of the default renpy gui. It's a good place to start/ reference for sizes if you want to hand draw your UI pieces like your text box!

Edit File

Simple enough, this is just where you can open your code files in whatever text/code editor you have installed.

Script.rpy - where all of your story and characters live. This is the file you'll spend most of your time in at first

Options.rpy - Contains mostly simple information, like project name and version. There aren't a ton of things in here you need to look at. There is also some lines of code that help 'archive' certain files by file type so that they can't be seen by players digging in code however. Fun if you want to hide some images in there for later or if you just dont want someone seeing how messy your files are. We've all been there

Gui.rpy - where all of the easy customization happens. Here you can change font colors, hover colors, fonts, font sizes, and then the alignment and placement of all of your text! Like your dialogue and names, the height of text buttons, etc. It more or less sets the defaults for a lot of these unless you choose to change them later.

Screens.rpy - undeniably my favorite, this is where all of the UI is laid out for the different screens in your game, like the main menu, game menu, quick menu, choice menu, etc. You can add custom screens too if you want, but I always make my own seperate file for these.

Open Project - this just opens all of those files at once in the code editor. Super handy if you make extra files like I do for certain things.

Actions

last but not least, our actions.

Navigate Script - This feature is underrated in my honest opinion, it's super handy for help debugging! In renpy you can comment with # before a line. However, if you do #TODO and type something after it, it saves it as a note! You can view these TODO's here as well as easily navigate to when certain screens are called, where different labels are (super great if your game is long, and more. It saves some scrolling.

Check Script (Lint) - also super duper handy for debugging some basic things. It also tells you your word count! But its handy for letting you know about some errors that might throw up. I like using it to look for sprites I may or may not have mispelled, because they show up in there too.

Change/Update GUI - Nifty, though once you start customizing GUI on your own, it isn't as useful. You can reset the project at any point and regenerate the image files here. This updates all those defaults we talked about earlier.

Delete Persistent - this just helps you delete any persistent data between play throughs on your end. I like to use it when making a lot of changes while testing the game, so that I can reboot the game fresh.

Force Recompile - Full disclosure, as many games as I've made and as long as I've been using Renpy, i have never used this feature. I searched to see what it does and this is the general consesus: Normally renpy tries to be smart about compiling code (creating .rpyc files) and only compiles .rpy files with changes. This is to speed up the process since compiling takes time. Sometimes you can make changes that renpy don't pick up on and therefore won't recompile. In these cases you can run force recompile to force it. Another solution (if you know what file is affected) is to delete that specific. rpyc file.

The rest of your options on this right hand side are how you make executable builds for your game that people can download to extract and play later!

Sorry gang! that was a whole lot of text obviously the last button "Launch Project" launches an uncompiled version of the project for you to play and test as you go! Hang in tight because my next post is about how to utilize github for renpy, so you can collaborate easier!

[centaurianthropology]

Thoughts and Probably Overly-Thorough Analysis on Adaptation in ‘Murderbot’ Episodes 1 and 2

After discussing adapting a very internal book series to the screen in this post, I was excited to actually get to watch how the show tackled visually trying to tell the story, especially given that the episodes are only approximately 30 minutes long.  That is TIGHT, and requires some tight scripting to establish the world, the characters, and the stakes. 

So, non-spoiler thoughts above the cut: I liked it!  I feel like the vibe is right, while changing some necessary things to better establish the world and several important concepts for non-readers.  The first scene felt a little clunky as far as pacing/info-dumping/character intro went, but after that I do feel like the pace evened out into something I genuinely found enjoyable.  There is a lot of effort to start defining cultures, concepts, and characters, and by and large I think it succeeded.  I have a few changes I might question, but we’re way too early in the season for me to feel comfortable judging them.  So overall, as someone who has read the books and enjoys seeing how things have to change to adapt to a different storytelling medium?  I think it’s overall successful, particularly as the first two episodes are clearly the setup episodes (almost always the hardest episodes to really nail during adaptation). 

If you’re looking for a 1:1 translation of the books, and if you’re really sensitive to changing the original, this is probably not going to be the show for you.  Luckily, there are great books and audiobooks still there for you!  But if you’re open to the changes, if your vision of these books and these character is flexible and you might even be excited to see a different version than the one already told, you will hopefully find it as fun a ride as I did.

By the end of episode two, particularly after some really great scenes featuring Alexander Skarsgard (whose portrayal of Murderbot completely won me over) and David Dastmalchian (Gurathin was always one of my favorites, and he is doing such interesting things to deepen the character), I am hooked.

More spoilery thoughts on the episodes below!

So, what do you have to do in intro episodes?  You have to introduce characters, situation and, in speculative fiction, also concepts and setting.  And for half-hour sci-fi episodes you’re almost certainly requiring a lot of shorthand, a lot of quick ways to get information across, a lot of info in as little time as possible.  Both of the first episodes dropped at once, and that’s honestly good, because they more or less function as the introductory two-parter before the action kicks off. 

The pacing is fairly leisurely, focused on introducing us to the world, the characters, and how they got to the place they are for the story.  And even after the intros, I do feel like we will probably be devoting more time to giving some of the more underserved characters more expansive moments.  But for having to do a lot in about an hour’s worth of television, I think they accomplished what they set out to do with fairly minimal clunkiness.

S1E1: ‘FreeCommerce’

That said the initial scene is a bit clunky.  I get why it was necessary.  We have to establish several big concepts in a hurry: what a SecUnit is, what they are generally used for, a sense of the Corporation Rim, and the hacked governor module that lies as the basis of the whole story going forward.  Those are big sci-fi concepts to front-load, and I do think the scene could have maybe taken one more pass through editing to not make it feel quite so rushed (a few pauses and beats here and there would have been appreciated), but I also understand that the sense was likely to get the information dump over quickly to get on with the story.  So, less elegant than one might hope, but not a deal-breaker by any means.  Information conveyed, moving on.

The introduction to the PresAux team, in my opinion, goes a lot better.  Largely because the writers play it out over multiple scenes and scenarios, giving us perspectives on these characters in three very different situations (at Port FreeCommerce, setting up their base, and facing their first real threat in the story).  I think hard-cutting to the actual beginning of ‘All Systems Red’ briefly, before flashing back to show the team having to rent Murderbot is a great choice.  We get the nod to the book-readers for the in medias res cold open of ‘All Systems Red’, while still going back to help the non-readers really understand who these people are and how they got here.

Playing up the hippie vibes of the team is smart visual and storytelling shorthand.  We immediately get a good sense that they don’t quite fit in with the Corporation Rim.  I love that it’s pointed out that their clothing is hand made, that there are patterns and textures, that there is jewelry and accessories and fun bags.  Put that against the Company’s sales reps’ tech-bro synthetic aesthetics, and it works!  My one wish would have been that the sales reps were all a little more artificially hot, to really drive home how unmakeuped and natural the PresAux team looks.  But still, a solid contrast to let us know that these are not your usual group of spacefarers.

And it continues throughout negotiations, leading up to the humming consesus circle.  Again, I think this is a great choice, because it serves multiple purposes all at once.  We can feel how different their society is to the one that Murderbot understands, and even sets them apart from our culture, which unfortunately is a lot more like Corporation Rim culture than Preservation. 

And this, I think, is why amplifying the hippie commune vibes of these characters is such a great choice: we as the audience are mostly in Murderbot’s head, so PresAux comes off the way that it initially sees them.  They seem weird, quirky, naive.  And yet, I believe that throughout the series both Murderbot and we will have our expectations challenged.  Why can’t people be emotionally open, trusting, and kind, even be fairly far-out and kooky, and still be highly competent, intelligent individuals who manage to hold their own under difficult circumstances.  In our own particular cultural moment, earnestness and emotional openness and the general hopeful and sweet vibes of the Preservation team is viewed as “cringe”.  I think there are probably going to be some viewers who look at them and want them to be some cool, cynical rebel college communists rather than drum-circle having hippies who love decorating their surroundings, embroidering, and jewelry making.  But I am very hopeful that, over the course of the season, we are shown how much their culture of openness, trust, and kindness can be a strength.  We might be asked to confront our own biases against earnestness and ‘quirkiness’, which could blind us to how competent these people are, much as Murderbot itself was initially blinded.

The scene on Port FreeCommerce serves as our introduction to the vibes of at least some of the individual members of PresAux as well.  Pin-Lee is running point in negotiations, so we know they’re someone who either has negotiating, business, or legal expertise (something that is difficult to establish through the rest of the story).  Dr. Mensah is clearly in charge, but has no desire to make unilateral decisions.  She takes other opinions into account (even if she ultimately disagrees with them), states her philosophical and moral objections to SecUnits clearly, but still acts as a realist: if they are going to do this survey, they have to cooperate with the Company.  The hellish compromise.

But because the whole team essentially has to compromise their morals and ethics to do this survey the way that the Company is insisting it get done (renting what is essentially mandatory slave labor), she makes sure that her entire team agrees with her before signing their contact.  We see that the team is very cooperative, but Gurathin is a bit of an awkward outsider (though immediately invited to be an insider by Ratthi, so we also get a sense of his open and warm nature), although at this point in the episode we don’t know why he doesn’t seem to fit as seamlessly as the others.

Moving to the survey planet and the team’s habitat is also a scene that pulls a lot of multilayered weight.  It establishes all the important components of the habitat, it establishes Murderbot’s disgust of human bodily functions, and further expands on the team and how Muderbot responds to them.  These are important moments because these are the initial impressions that will go on to be confirmed or subverted throughout the season.  While it’s a bit on the nose to just do a verbal intro of everyone, it’s also a good use of time in a 30-minute episode to just get everyone’s names out there, base-level relationships, jobs, and at least one individual facet of them (Mensah has 80 million seven children, Arada and Pin-Lee are married but might be going through a bit of a rough patch, Ratthi flirts with All The Things, Gurathin is an augmented human, and Bharadwaj is hoarding soap for unknown reasons).  We see them decorating their habitat, growing plants inside, playing music (again, more cultural establishment and ways of making both Murderbot and the audience initially confused by this bunch), and being … really sweet with one another, honestly.  I felt immediately endeared to them and wanted to know more (why are you hoarding soap, Bharadwaj??).  We get tiny character beats like Arada running up the stairs to call dibs on rooms, followed by Ratthi and Pin-Lee, and we get a moment of Pin-Lee pausing as they run past SecUnit to smile at it and seem to try to engage with it, if only briefly.  We get Ratthi painting the habitat, and Gurathin fretting over if the paint washes off (they’re never getting their deposit back …).

We also get that Murderbot Does Not Want to Be Here, and see it grappling with humanity as a whole.  It seems to find actual human relationships offputting and confusing, but loves the melodramatic interpretations of relationships on ‘Sanctuary Moon’.  Reality makes it deeply uncomfortable, but unreality has become its comfort and what it mostly spends its time focused on.  Through its avoidance of them and their oddities, we get a sense both of its fear of being found out, and we get a Chekhov’s gun of emotional attachment.  It doesn’t want it, but it’s also deeply fascinated by its facsimile.  And given how open and loving this group seems to be in general (with one notable and delightfully bitchy exception, love you Gurathin), we can already see how it’s going to be loved whether it wants to be or not.

The final establishment of character, situation, and place, occurs with the return to the cold open of ‘All Systems Red’, now armed with enough information to actually care at least somewhat when Bharadwaj gets attacked by the worm, as well as somewhat understanding why she and Arada might initially not listen to the SecUnit (they know it’s refurbished and all the rest of their Company equipment is a bit shit, they’re scientists excited about their work, the planet was rated safe). 

The worm attack works fairly well.  The CG of Murderbot jumping down feels a bit floaty, but as soon as it closes in for combat the visual effects are on point, and the pacing of the scene is frantic and fun.  The use of the ‘Sanctuary Moon’ clip to give Murderbot a means of trying to comfort Arada to get her walking was great, and it was really this scene that sold me on Alexander Skarsgard as Murderbot.  After hearing its snarky internal monologue, hearing the awkwardness of its actual attempts at a social interaction is delightful!  Internal-Monologue!Murderbot is quippy and witty and sarcastic.  Outside!SecUnit is awkwardness and social anxiety personified.  And I feel like this disconnect can really hit home for a lot of people with bad social anxiety. 

This is also important to establish the initial character reactions to a majorly tramatic and shocking moment for them.  Arada goes into shock, but after that gets forceful and defensive of both SecUnit and her field of study (her lines about animals were actually great, and really set her apart in her own unique way). 

Pin-Lee demands action.  They can get loud and abrasive, and they clearly need to have control over their circumstances or they start to get very twitchy, but they are also caring, careful to correct themself when they say something that could be genuinely insulting. 

Ratthi is concerned for everyone, but also has a base-level chill nature that means he can’t stay worked up to the intensity that others can.  It makes him a sweet and leveling presence in tense scenes. 

Gurathin has to be useful.  He preps the medbay.  He stays with Bharadwaj until she wakes up, monitoring her vitals and the equipment, even though there isn’t much he can do.  But the equipment is his thing.  The tech is his thing, and he’s going to make it work.  Which is why, of course, he’s also the first to notice something is off with their SecUnit.  Not only is he focused on the equipment (and at this point viewing SecUnit more as faulty equipment than a person), but we find out that he’s the only one of the team who might have actually had prior experience with SecUnits, and whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

Mensah stays cool under fire, staying at the heart of the discussion while taking everyone’s thoughts and feelings into account.  She keeps everyone directed, focused, and calm.  And then, when she is alone, she falls apart, slipping into a full-blown panic attack over almost losing Bharadwaj.  And honestly?  I love them giving her a panic disorder.  Giving a character a panic disorder while still showing that she is competent, a respected leader, and tries her damndest to push through the panic to reassure and care for her people is a lovely touch. 

With these three data points we actually get a good baseline for these characters in their element, out of their element, and in danger.  They already feel human and flawed, despite not knowing any of them deeply yet.  It also means that we’re already able to read more into their interactions than Murderbot is grasping quite yet.  After all, it’s not great at this social thing, and it REALLY doesn’t get them and their culture.

This gets highlighted when it has to come out and talk to the team out of its armor.  Again, Alexander Skarsgard does a fantastic job of radiating the incredible social anxiety of a being that would vastly prefer to only ever have to interact with other people safely behind a helmet.  Being so exposed, with its feet and its face and its hands all on gangly display in one of the crew jumpsuits, is so clearly an existential nightmare to it.  And the more most of the team try to thank it, welcome it, treat it like a person, the more uncomfortable it becomes.  The speech is hilarious, but also a great bit of disconnect between its social comfort zone and that of the Preservation team.  And in that moment, we realize that, even if some of them are trying to embrace it, to invite it to be more integrated with them, to give it a chance, they understand Muderbot as little as Murderbot understands them.

I have seen some people not liking part of this scene because Arada misgenders Murderbot by calling it ‘he’, but I think this is actually an important part of character building for her, Murderbot, and the story.  My guess is that the writers are going to Rule Of Threes Murderbot’s pronouns, as many viewers have likely never encountered someone who uses it/its pronouns.  This scene serves as the Introduction: Arada is well-meaning, but accidentally misgenders it because she is reacting to the face she saw (as many well-meaning people can do).  Gurathin immediately and vehemently corrects her … for the wrong reasons.  He’s thinking of their SecUnit as a malfunctioning piece of equipment, while Arada is thinking of it as a human, so he is dehumanizing it.  They are both wrong, but also both a bit right.  Arada is right that Murderbot is a person, but she is wrong in immediately defaulting to Human Male when she thinks of it.  Gurathin is right in that it has no interest in being human and is, in fact, quite attached to being a construct and having no gender, but he’s wrong in treating it as equipment.  I imagine that, per the Rule of Threes, this topic will be Reinforced later, and then Confirmed in a final scene so the audience learns its pronouns properly, even audience members who might initially struggle to use the right pronouns or do the same as Arada by seeing Alexander Skarsgard and making assumptions.

And speaking of assumptions, the audience also gets its first hint that perhaps ‘Murderbot’ wasn’t simply a cool name it plucked out of the aether, but ties much more intensely into the fragments of memories it has.  We find out that SecUnits are routinely memory wiped, but a few seconds of something awful have leaked through.  It sees people screaming, running, and dying, and it has the feeling it might be responsible.  And despite its general misanthrope, it doesn’t seem at all pleased by this memory.  If anything, it seems horrified.  It’s one thing to idly speculate about killing humans, but another to realize it might well have already done precisely what all the SecUnits on the entertainment feeds do: go crazy and kill all its clients.

Introducing that memory and then having a one-on-one with Mensah is an interesting choice, because it adds layers to the scene.  She is clearly trying to thank it again, maybe reach out, but she’s also trying to figure out what’s happening with her clearly incredibly anxious SecUnit.  It’s terrified she suspects it’s hacked its governor module, but it’s also afraid she’s getting attached, which could be worse.  After all, if it’s done something awful once, there’s nothing stopping it from doing so again. 

The memories keep playing even after she leaves, and it says the same line it lifted from ‘Sanctuary Moon’ to itself: “Stay calm; it’ll be okay.  You have my word.”  It’s honestly creepy, and it’s clearly meant for the audience to read this initially as a threat to the scientists.  But looking at it again, considering how traumatized it seems to be by this fragmented memory, the line takes on an almost self-soothing quality.  Is it speaking to the people in its memory?  The PresAux team?  Itself? 

The first episode does a workmanlike and occasionally inspired job of introducing us to all the things it needed to.  And for all that this first episode is fairly direct in its storytelling, I feel like there are layers that will feel deeper on future viewing after the whole season is out.

S1E2: ‘Eye Contact’

The second half of our introduction to this show had two major jobs: reinforce themes from the first episode, deepen character beats, and get us to the point where the plot kicks off.  The show does this by splitting the episode into two subplots that both kick off with the opening scene.

We open in the hopper, and it’s clear from the first scene that this episode will, at least in part, focus on better establishing and characterizing Gurathin.  I’m hoping each of the characters gets this treatment going forward, because I really have to commend the episode for how much we learn about him throughout.  There are a lot of layers at play, both in the writing of his character and in David Dastmalchian’s performance.  This is a guy with anxiety to rival Murderbot’s, even if he can cover it better.  He’s trying to keep their conversation out of its purview, because he doesn’t trust it.  He doesn’t trust anyone outside of this small friend group he’s got, and he especially doesn’t trust anything coming from the Company.  And even though the group thinks he’s being overly paranoid, it’s really nice to see how immediately they confirm that he has good reasons for not trusting the Company, and they all love him (and Ratthi calls him “Gugu”, which … chef’s kiss).  We now get our first big hint of what makes him the outsider of the group: he’s not originally from Preservation.  As we learn later, he’s almost certainly originally from the Corporation Rim, and whatever happened to him there has fucked him up badly.

Mensah once again comes in as the tempering force.  She mentions her conversation with SecUnit.  She wanted to see if she could trust it, and she FEELS like she can, but THINKS they should be cautious.  I like this slight change from the books, as all the Preservation natives feel the immediate desire to trust and befriend SecUnit, but in this they are a bit more cautious because they aren’t certain if they can trust anything supplied by the Company. 

I think this is the benefit of the visual medium expanding out the story.  After all, while the audience is able to hear all of Murderbot’s internal snark, they only get the anxiety-ridden, clearly atypical external SecUnit.  And even if some of them are now seeing it as a person, they are also seeing that it works for a deeply untrustworthy company that may or may not be deceiving them.  So with the information and experiences they currently have, Gurathin is making a reasonable argument for leaving the SecUnit behind. 

And from a storytelling perspective, it makes sense to leave it behind.  It would be easy for this episode to feel like it was retreading the worm incident from the first episode, but having Mensah and Bharadwaj decide to go alone to survey the blacked out area in the map makes the stakes very different. 

And speaking of, though we don’t get a lot of time with her, I am LOVING Bharadwaj.  The actress is hilarious, particularly when the character is clearly high as balls on stimulants and pain meds is just fantastic.  I also love her little moment later of academic one-upsmanship.  Having known so many academics in my life, that was the most real moment of academic bullshit so far.  I cackled!

Their plot is primarily used to reestablish Bharadwaj, and to get Mensah into a dangerous situation (and honestly, I don’t think she should have gone alone trying to climb a fucking mountain, but whatever).  She ends up having another panic attack, and it’s a good beat to see her trying to force her way through it.  She doesn’t want to let the team down.  Even while she’s spiraling she’s trying to be so supportive and encouraging to her team.  I like that she doesn’t handle this situation perfectly.  I like that she struggles and sort of fails, and still keeps pushing.  One of the things the show has been consistently good at is giving the characters very relatable flaws.  She takes her role so seriously she’s going to put herself through hell to see it done, all while trying to mask how bad it’s getting in front of the people she cares about.  This is a good way of reinforcing what we learned about her in the last episode, and setting up an emotional arc for her.

And speaking of setting up emotional arcs, let’s talk about Murderbot and Gurathin, or what I like to call The Best Scenes in the Show So Far Holy Shit.

The scenes between them function on so many levels: comedy, drama, character development, worldbuilding.  We have it all right here!  Major concepts that will be important later (ComfortUnits, Corporation Rim vs Preservation culture) are established quickly and with deliberate discomfort for both characters.  Gurathin weaponizes Murderbot’s deep discomfort with eye contact and social interaction to try to interrogate it and figure out what’s gone wrong, but it doesn’t really go the way either of them wants it to go, because both of them are socially awkward disasters; both of them have conflicting motivations and desires; both of them don’t understand one another and understand one another way, WAY too well.

This leads to scenes that can be interpreted on multiple levels, all while setting up some meaty stakes.  Both characters are trying to do multiple things at once, and it’s really fun to see how well or poorly they succeed.  Gurathin definitely set up the scene to be at least a bit intimidating … and promptly fumbles it when he realizes that his chair isn’t a swivel chair and he can’t turn and do a cool reveal, but instead drags it around, scraping along the floor.  And honestly, part of him not only can’t be intimidating, but doesn’t want to be.  Part of him wants to understand this incredibly awkward being he’s now sharing space with.  There is a weird earnestness, almost a stream-of-consciousness strangeness to the way Gurathin is written in this scene that I adore, and that David Dastmalchian absolutely nails.  He seems even weirder than Murderbot in his own way.

They’re both such messes, and both ready to needle the shit out of one another.  Gurathin, especially, is clearly trying to provoke reactions, to test boundaries.  It’s almost like he’s conducting a stress test on a computer system, but with a sentient being instead, and his life potentially on the line.  He questions Murderbot about its capacity for emotion, for connection, by comparing it to ComfortUnits, but because, again, this is an interrogation conducted by and to the two most cripplingly awkward beings on the hab, it half comes off like he’s hitting on it.

And then there’s the reason for the episode title, and something that is both a deeply dirty trick on Gurathin’s part, and an absolute red flag waved in front of a bull.  He orders (likely suspecting that this SecUnit might be capable of disobeying orders) that they maintain eye contact throughout this interaction. 

And I think that red flag in front of a bull is the other level he’s trying to work at in this scene.  This is a systems stress test, trying to tease out what is happening and where what he sees as a malfunction lies.  But he’s also painting himself as a target.  He’s pulling out every nasty trick in the book to make sure that, if this SecUnit really is rogue and really is going to go on a killing spree, it doesn’t go after anyone but him.  Because as was established in the opening scene: Gurathin may be a paranoid dick, but he loves his weird extrovert friends so, so deeply, and he would absolutely die to protect them.

Because Gurathin, above all things, needs to feel useful.

Murderbot is trying to dodge questions, trying not to give anything away.  It’s trying to bear up under the sheer painful amount of eye contact required, and it’s trying to get Gurathin back (you make me look you in the eye?  I’ll make you see your friends making out with one another!).  And the funniest thing is that they’re basically just inflicting on the other what they already find uncomfortable.  Again and again, they parallel one another.  It was established twice last episode and hammered home now.

And at the same time, there is a weirdly heart-to-heart quality to this interaction.  Because as much as Gurathin is trying to be a hardass, and as much as Murderbot is trying to shut this interaction down as quickly as possible, Gurathin is also just trying to understand, and Murderbot can’t help but explain itself a bit.  It’s the awful moment of sympathy with someone you loath because they’re far too much like you, but you just keep reaching out.  And that layer of earnestness, of accidental vulnerability on both of their parts, adds such a lovely, bizarre tinge of sweetness to what is otherwise a fairly brutal encounter for both of them.

The choices in this scene are what sold me on the show, from the storytelling to the writing to the performances.  The actors fucking kill this scene.  Alexander Skarsgard gets to do a lot of subtle facial expressions as the internal snarky narration struggles to emerge under its facade of calm, and its deep levels of social anxiety keep kneecapping it from fully extracting itself from the conversation or getting the upper hand.  And David Dastmalchian brings all the conflicting motivations, all the half-aborted gestures of hostility and kindness and awkwardness and paranoia through to make Gurathin feel desperately, earnestly human.  I really can’t say enough about their performances; they bounce off one another fantastically.

And of course, these two storylines dovetail at the end of the episode as Mensah finds the Alien Remnant (really cool use of visual effects there!), almost gets eaten by a worm, and everyone realizes that either the maps are glitching out due to the Remnants’ influence, or someone is deliberately hiding them.  They try to confer with the other survey team currently on the planet, a small group from a company called DeltFall, but something is wrong.  And as the episode closes with bodies strewn over the darkened DeltFall habitat, I think we’re about to see the plot kick into gear.

Conclusions

So, what did I think about the first two episodes overall?  They were solid.  I want more establishing time with quite a few of the characters (Bharadwaj, Ratthi, Pin-Lee, and Arada especially), but episode two in particular made me confident this show is going fun places.  Because the scenes between Murderbot and Gurathin were added for the show; this is new material, and it’s exactly the sort of thing I was hoping we would get from an adaptation.  Those scenes struck the perfect blend of humor and danger and sincerity and anger that I read in the books.  That was what convinced me that the show really could pull off something new and fun and fresh both as an adaptation of a series of books I enjoy, and as a piece of science fiction media that feels defiantly hopeful and colorful and weird in the face of a fairly bleak and depressing sci-fi television landscape. 

Like I said before, doing set-up episodes is incredibly hard to do gracefully in television, and doing sci-fi setup where you’re having to explain places, politics, and concepts as well as characters and situations, is even more challenging.  And you’ve got two half-hour time slots to do it in.  And with those limitations in mind, I feel like the show currently ranges from Gets-the-Job-Done-Inelegantly-but-Fine to Holy-Shit-I-Want-to-See-More-of-That-Right-Now. 

I want to get to know all these weirdos on the same intense level I now feel we know Murderbot and Gurathin, and I feel like we will.  Will it be the perfect show?  No.  It will not.  Have I still watched both of these episodes multiple times, and am I super excited to see DeltFall and how much things are about to go to shit?  Oh hell yes.  I am so excited!

So, yes.  There are my scattered thought about this adaptation, where it mostly succeeds and occasionally feels clunky.  The cast is charming and occasionally electric, and I am eager to see more.

[thealchemistbae]

If Your Moon Sign Had a Finsta: What It Would Say, Post, and Overshare 🤳

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thealchemistbae © do not copy, redistribute, or edit my content.

If you enjoyed this post, you can leave me a tip via PayPal at goddessguapa@gmail.com or via Venmo @goddessguapa. Thank you.

Let's be real...if your Moon sign had a finsta, it would be unhinged, unfiltered, and probably shadow banned by now. The Moon rules your emotions, your moods, your 3AM thoughts...basically, the version of you your group chat kinda knows about but your situationship definitely doesn't. So let's dive into the tea, shall we?

🌕: Aries Moon -> Finsta Bio: "IDGAF but like....i lowkey do"

This moon sign posts gym thirst traps and unhinged rants about how they're "so over it" (they are not over it). Deletes posts just to repost them 3 hours later with a new caption. First to subtweet, last to apologize. Probably posts fight videos for fun.

🌕: Taurus Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Soft life only. I'm unavailable unless you're feeding me."

It's giving aesthetic dinner pics, sleepy selfies, and long captions about their skincare routine as a form of therapy. Might overshare once every retrograde then disappear for weeks. Their finsta feels like a velvet blanket and a warm croissant.

🌕: Gemini Moon -> Finsta Bio: "I change my mind. A lot."

They post memes, conspiracy theories, and flirty thirst traps all in one scroll. You never know what you're getting but it's always a show. Will overshare their drama then ghost mid-story. Loves posting screenshots with zero context like "and this is why I'm unwell."

🌕: Cancer Moon -> Finsta Bio: "I'm fine." (They are not fine.)

Their finsta is 60% crying selfies, 20% Lana Del Rey lyrics, and 20% blurry photos of the ocean. They post love letters to people who will never read them and get nostalgic over things that happened yesterday. You'll cry, they'll cry, it's a vibe.

🌕: Leo Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Main character energy even on my worst day."

Every post looks like it belongs on a moodboard. Their captions? Straight from a movie script. You think it's a thirst trap but really it's them processing childhood wounds through ring light therapy. They love attention but make it ✨emotional✨.

🌕: Virgo Moon -> Finsta Bio: "I have 47 drafts and zero chill."

They post pretty pictures with overly long captions that start like "not me being vulnerable..." and end in a thesis statement. Overshares via infographics. Will cry, journal, then edit a photo dump with healing playlist recs.

🌕: Libra Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Love me, but like, don't look directly at me."

Their finsta is a curated heartbreak museum. Aesthetic breakup posts. Mirror selfies mid-spiral. They're going through it, but make it cute. Passive-aggressive quotes and "I'm just reflecting" captions that are 100% about their ex.

🌕: Scorpio Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Trust issues & immaculate vibes."

They only post when something's really wrong or really hot. Their page is dark, sexy, poetic, and a little scary. Caption: "No one knows the real me." Comment: 56 people claiming they do know the real them. They're watching you watch them.

🌕: Sagittarius Moon -> Finsta Bio: "I said what I said and I'm probably gonna say it again."

They're either posting wild travel pics or rants about life's purpose after one edible. Overshares like it's a sport. Finsta feels like a TED talk with tequila. Unfiltered, chaotic, and accidentally inspiring.

🌕: Capricorn Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Feelings are expensive. Pay up."

Doesn't post often, but when they do, it's emotionally calculated. Soft spoken captions hiding deep rooted boss energy. Finsta looks minimal but holds MAJOR weight. Might drop a single selfie that screams "I'm thriving" but won't explain.

🌕: Aquarius Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Just here to observe the chaos (and stir it).

Posts memes that don't make sense and deep thoughts that slap. You're like "what does this mean?" but also "wait...that's me." Might go on a rant about society then post a pic of a frog in sunglasses. Their finsta is a social experiment.

🌕: Pisces Moon -> Finsta Bio: "Too emotional for this planet."

Their stories are just Spotify lyrics and angel numbers. Posts dreamy selfies with captions like "I dreamt we were together in another life..." and it's about someone they met once. Chaos, compassion, and soft girl spirals. A safe space for crying and creating.

thealchemistbae © do not copy, redistribute, or edit my content.

If you enjoyed this post, you can leave me a tip via PayPal at goddessguapa@gmail.com or via Venmo @goddessguapa. Thank you.