#with my levels of cleanliness
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I'm actually thinking about renting flat by myself
...would probably have to sacrifice kidney and lung to afford it tho
#I'm starting to need my own space#like the WHOLE fucking space#with my levels of cleanliness#and my spirit in every room#i need my space
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Also in other foolish illness news I stripped my bed this morning because I was so sick of the sheets smelling like fever sweat and thought it would probably help but now I'm wondering why I did that. Now I have to like...actually wash them. Girl help
#could i put them back on the bed without washing them? yeah i guess#should i have waited a few more days? probably#but also the level of cleanliness in this house is driving me up a WALL and i think if i mitigate some of that perhaps it will help#thought process this morning was also 'i'm going to have to rearrange the comforter anyways so might as well'#and i do think there's some truth to that#but also. girl. walking around wears you out and you need to wash dishes and make dinner and such. this was dumb#i need the concept of spoons drilled into my brain i am always overestimating what i can get done in a day#perce rambles
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ROOM CLEAN AFTER TWO WEEKS OF LIVING IN TOTAL FILTH

#the way i hadnt cleaned it at ALL since BEFORE i was sick last week.......#me @ me: damn bitch u live like this ?????#anyway its clean now#and my brown ass does Not consider a room clean until i get down there and scrub it myself with soap and water#so best believe im now living in pristine conditions#unprecedented levels of cleanliness
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Apartment people did an impromptu inspection to check for leaks and I got like Maybe a 20 minute warning. It was enough i managed to clean the worst shit. But man I would've liked a Little more warning than that
#speculation nation#technically theyre able to do shit like this if it's an 'emergency'. and i guess a potential leak would count.#the guy who came in was nice at least. and thank god i Have been working on my apartment's cleanliness#so rn it's at uh. Messy but not Health Hazard level. yeay👍#gonna do my dishes too. didnt have time to get to them b4 the guy got here but they do need done.#it is. SO annoying to have impromptu inspections tho. but i will be moving out of here by next summer anyways. oh well.
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GRE today…..
#456 words#it’s optional for most things I’m applying to but. my grades are not amazing for the level I’m applying#so in my case taking the gre is a good idea if I can do really well#which#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#we will see#I did a practice test and sone practice problems and such and I do fine#but I would like a higher percentile in quantitative than my practices have projected#hopefully having practiced and being in a proper test environment will help push it up a few more points#also it’s like. 50/50 rn on whether I can finish the essay in 30 mins#ive gotten it closer each time I practice but#woof. hard to cleanly articulate a point you don’t know ahead of time in 30 mins#but yeah ideally I do well enough that I can send scores and they will help rather than harm#that’s all I ask. I could maybe take it again but would rather not have to spend another 250#we shall see#at least it’s not the time I took the mcat w only 2 weeks prep#and its also not the mcat#mcat has No fucking reason to be that long#that’s not a cognitive test or a content test it is an endurance test#I know gre used to be longer (like 4 hours?????) but. still#mcat was like 7 iirc#GRE is 2 hours which is a normal fucking amount of time for a test methinks#though ngl it’s a bitch that the hardest sections are at the end#well I guess that’s. a good sign actually????#bc iirc it modulates what you get on the last two sections based on your earlier performance#so the fact it gets harder means I’m doing well early on#but still………..#anyway I’m rambling#pre test thoughts I guess#don’t expect anyone to read this really and if you did sorry this is. probably entirely uninteresting
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Some practice cause i hardly remember how to draw in my usual comic fashion anymore👀👀👀
Apparently I drew these Strikes over a year ago now!? wow!!
#wake of the clash#webcomic#comic art#superhero#oc#original character#i feel like my style has been permanently altered in the past year from drawing other stuff lol#such is the way of things. i've had to adjust to drawing things much more quickly and less cleanly but more expressively and it shows.#i don't take my time very much any more which comes with mixed feelings#gotta go fast though!!#i don't think this and the pencils in the link illustrate the difference in that change but if i look at my older clean art i feel it!#things that don't change though: i still love Strike the most >:^D#I should draw Glass for fun too eehehe#my shoes have leveled up
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btw this isn't an insult because the dirtiest people I have ever met are white but like, each time I go outside of italy, I am reminded that cleanliness is a whole different concept for everybody.
#angsti rambles#and I don't mean cleanliness of yourself#you can do what you want with your body#but like ... I am staying at a study inn and I know it is just a grade above hostels BUT ...#I walked in and the kitchen (which i needed to use) had crumbs of food everywhere#and like I am not a clean person by any chance#like I am clean but not at my mom's level#I get that you might accidentally leave some stuff at times#or splashes#but the food was fucking everywhere#even on the floor#and like the dude receptionist just went 'oh somebody made an oopsie' and while I get that it isn't your thing to actually clean after othe#maybe idk send a message#I am also bewildered by the good reviews but it's just day (1)
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I've been panicking about my roommate all day I am terrified of her coming back even if it's just to move her stuff out I am genuinely scared of her because she is not who I thought she was at all
#the girl who threw a coffee cup at the wall leaving a stain thats STILL THERE#and the girl who forgot abt bug infested food that i had to clean up bc the bugs were spreading around the kitchen#and lest we forget the girl who has damaged multiple things i own the girl who chucked my shoes down the stairs#the girl who has NEVER ONCE told me she has a problem with my cleanliness level#says that i am so messy and horrible to live with that it caused her to FAIL HER SEMESTER because i'm the one who's terrible to live with.#i'm terrible to live with despite her telling me to my face that she has no respect for me and laughing at me when i had trouble w language#despite her screaming at 3AM and doing god knows what at any hour of the day#i am so upset about this!!!!#persannal
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He could not prevent it because he was set in his decision.
CLAUDIA AND A SPINELESS CUNT INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022—)
#granted i don’t think he’s spineless#i think he wanted the undivided attention of louis de pointe du lac had a plan to get it and carried it out flawlessly#i’m uncertain if he found her an ‘abomination’ due to her age and wanted her expunged which#doesn’t make a lot of sense to me bc why would he care#amc armand wasn’t turned as a teenager and therefore doesn’t get to project onto her in this ‘verse#and similarly it would be strange if he really felt it was a ‘mercy kill’#and mostly i’m puzzled why he felt threatened by her wrt to louis bc#damn sir she’d already left#unlike canon#so all i have left is that amc armand felt weapons-grade levels of threatened at#the prospect of losing louis’s affections#and cleanly took both of louis’s family members off the board in one way or another#the one he could kill and the one he couldn’t bear to#which turned out to be some monkey’s paw shit#because given his limited experience with love armand was unable to foresee louis would be left a shell of his former self#iwtv#to me not spineless but definitely merciless and dangerous#’i want you more than anything in the world’ would’ve been terrifying if louis had known what that meant from armand#prev tags#my tags: I agree#interview with the vampire
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mom!paige teaching her and reader's kid to play basketball... reader gets involved too 🥺
mini star

pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader
warnings: fluff
synopsis: a cute moment where you get to be a part of paige coaching your daughter into becoming a mini basketball star.
♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧
the sun was starting to set—casting a pink and orange glow across the sky—and paige and lani were still out in the driveway playing with the mini basketball. in true texas nature, it was still hot and humid, even after the sun was no longer high in the sky. you sat on your porch with a mug of coffee in your hands, smiling fondly as you watched your two girls play.
lani giggled as she ran past paige and tossed the ball towards the mini goal, not quite reaching it but close enough. "mama, i made it!"
"you did!" paige scooped her up in her arms and gave her a high five, a big smile on her face. "you're almost ready to take my spot, aren't you?"
"almost? she's got better footwork than you bueckers," you teased, taking a slow sip of coffee but keeping your eyes on them. "better watch out."
paige gasped, feigning offense. lani wriggled her way out of paiges arms and immediately ran for the ball sitting at the end of the driveway. you set your mug down and made your way off the porch, the old wooden steps creaking under your weight. once you reached paige she wrapped her arm around your waist and tugged you close, you gladly leaned in.
"she's determined," paige murmured, eyes following lani as she clumsily dribbled the ball back towards the mini hoop. "and i swear she trash-talked me earlier."
you laughed, leaning your head on her shoulder and wrapping your arms around her. "well, someones gotta keep you humble."
she leaned down and pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, a smile tugging at her lips. "you used to do that."
"hey, i still do."
"true."
lani stopped at the edge of the make-shift free-throw line paige had drawn in chalk earlier and lined up her shot again. she bent her knees just like she'd watched her mama do many times before, granted it was a little more exaggerated, then threw the ball with all the strength her little arms could muster.
the ball hit the rim and bounced off, she gasped like she'd just lost the most important shot of her life. "nooooo!"
"hey, hey," paige spoke gently, stepping forward and crouching down to her level. "that was so close, baby. you almost got it."
lani pouted a little but nodded. “okay, m'gonna try again.”
“that’s my girl,” paige encouraged, giving her a small pat on her side before backing up to give her space. lani picked up the ball and tried again and again. each miss was followed by a dissatisfied grunt, a wiggle of her hips, and a little more concentration. you sat criss-crossed now on the pavement, clapping and cheering for her even though she missed. paige ran defense—arms raised, stepping back dramatically every time lani made a move, like she was going up against a professional.
“go left!” you called.
“she only goes left,” paige said with a grin.
“she’s watching you, what did you expect?” you shot back, raising your brows at her. lani finally managed to make a shot off the backboard and through the mini hoop. the ball dropped cleanly into the grass behind it.
she froze, eyes wide, like she couldn’t believe it, then she screamed, "I MADE IT! MAMA! MOMMY! I REALLY MADE IT!"
Paige was already rushing forward. “oh it’s over now. you're officially a pro.”
you stood and joined them just in time for lani to jump into your arms. you spun her around gently, her sweaty forehead pressed against yours, her giggles ringing in your ears like music.
“i beat mama,” she whispered.
you kissed her cheek. “you did.”
you glanced at paige and she stepped closer, crossing her arms with a eye roll that had no real heat behind it. “i’m starting to regret all the dribbling drills.”
“only now?” you teased.
"i'm tired." lani sighed tiredly and laid her head on your shoulder, the wear of the day starting to dawn on her. paige pushed away the curls sticking to her forehead and pressed a soft kiss to her head.
"let's get you to bed, champ."
#m speaks#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers x fem!reader#paige bueckers fluff#paige bueckers x fem!reader fluff#dallas wings
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EIGHT FIRST DATES ꨄ︎
001 》 HWANG HYUNJIN
your first time on tinder ends in... success? with thanksgiving only eight weeks away, you're hell bent on getting a boyfriend before then to show off to your family. with your first and only option being a dating app, you've scored a beau within hours. will he be the one you show up with thanksgiving day?
➤ see hyunjin's tinder profile here !
smut! mdni! oral r, lots of praise, lil bit of a breeding kink (protected sex tho!) wc ~10k
“yeah, but tinder? really?” your twin stood in front of you, eyebrows twinged in disgust, hands clutching his phone in front of him, thumbs hovering over his screen.
“what other choice do i have? i have eight weeks to get a boyfriend. the clock is fucking ticking,” you threw your hands in the air, stopping your pacing back and forth in your brother’s cluttered bedroom.
“i don’t understand why you let them get to you, bro,” he shook his head, climbing onto his bed, a shirt falling to the floor from the movement. “who cares if you don’t have a boyfriend? just be single, it’s better that way.”
“you literally have a girlfriend, ace,” you crossed your arms, fighting every instinct to not pick up the shirt that had fallen. “you can’t say shit like that when they don’t bother you. mom, matt and even vi started getting on my case about it.”
ace sighed, throwing his head back. “you don’t know anyone? not a single man who’d take you on a date?” he picked his head up to look at you with eyebrows raised, then continued when you gave him a swift shake of your head. “what about yeosang? yunho, san?”
you don’t think your face could look more horrified, “that’s fucking disgusting. we’ve all been best friends since we were basically born, they’re like another you.”
“they sound like three options to me,” he shrugged, then put his legs under his comforter that was scrunched up on the side of his bed, “can you close my door on your way out?”
you made a sound of frustration, somewhere between a grunt and a whine as you left his room, right after throwing the shirt in his annoyingly full hamper and closing the door behind you. you went back to your own bedroom, the complete opposite of his, bed made with four different pillows for show, not a single article of clothing on the floor. the cleanliness made you smile, you even felt cleaner after leaving his room, you immediately hopped onto your bed and opened tinder.
SOOBIN, 23 if u like jjk chainsaw man or solo leveling PLS hmu
JEONGHAN, 29 recruiting new members for my cult
HYUNJIN, 24 swipe right if you like art & wine
INTAK, 21 5’11 since it matters
“jesus,” you said under your breath, you didn’t know if it was because you just signed up for the app and it showed you who everyone was swiping on, or if everyone around you was really just that gorgeous. everyone got a swipe right, and almost everyone afterward until the app notified you that you ran out of likes.
“ran out?!” you yelled at your phone, eyebrows furrowed. you threw your phone on the bed beside you, the back of your head falling into the pillow with a loud huff.
then your phone pinged with a notification.
you picked it up at the speed of light, eyes widening at the little fire icon on your notification screen. you opened the app quickly, checking your matches.
intak: hey ;)
you bit your lip, a smile growing on your face. your first match!
you: heyyy :)))
intak: wsp
you: nothing muchhhh just laying in bed wbu!!
intak: bored :/ intak: u send pics?
you immediately frowned, the adrenaline that was just coursing through you depleted within seconds, your heartbeat already slowing. this was why you didn’t have a boyfriend, why you didn’t date, why you never have.
you quickly unmatched him, throwing your phone beside you again. maybe your twin was right, maybe downloading tinder really was stupid — it’s an app used primarily for hookups, and that’s not what you were interested in. you were looking for someone to show off to your ridiculously large family. to your cousins who have always belittled you for staying single, to your grandma who wants you to be with someone she approves of, to your little fucking sister who called you lame for never having a boyfriend.
you were sick of it. you wanted a partner better than the ones your cousins have, one that would make your grandma give you the ring that still sat on her finger, one that would hangout with your little sister. one that would make your father proud, would make him smile down at you, one that he’d feel ecstatic about you walking down the aisle toward— even if he couldn’t be here to walk you to him.
your phone pinged again.
you picked it up with lowered expectations, clicking on the fire icon again.
hyunjin: hey gorgeous :)
you looked through his profile again before answering. he had seven pictures up on his profile, every single one of them filling you with more curiosity. he had a few photos up with art you can only assume he made, a mirror selfie, two pictures taken of him, and a picture with another gorgeous man. you couldn’t believe he was on tinder — he’s perfect.
you: hey handsome :)
hyunjin: are u a twin?
you: i do happen to be a twin !
hyunjin: thats sick. are u guys identical? u look identical hyunjin: yall have telepathy or whatever?
you: we are not!!! we get that a lot lol you: tbh no you: god must save that for the identical twins💔
hyunjin: are u sure ur not identical hyunjin: u guys look exactly the same hyunjin: how are u twins and u dont have telepathy
you perched an eyebrow, fingers typing faster.
you: yes i am sure??? you: are you a twin???
hyunjin: no
you: right you: ill be sure to let him know we need to try harder to be telepathic
hyunjin: i think telepathy is really beautiful, the whole concept of twins actually. hyunjin: sharing the same DNA??? being essentially the same person split into two bodies, sharing things that no one else will understand just bc of how you were born. its really poetic
you: well were fraternal so we don't share all of our dna just 50% like any other sibling you: we could not be farther from the same person lol but yeah the concept of twins is rlly cool
hyunjin: anyways enough about that hyunjin: do u like art?
you let out a small chuckle— the conversation almost didn’t seem real. you went from one man asking about nudes to another asking you about your genetic makeup, then he asks if you like art? you couldn’t believe the face attached to these messages.
you: yeah i fuck with paintings you: i see you are an artist you: i like what's on your profile !!
hyunjin: thank you :) hyunjin: would u want to go out this saturday? an exhibit opened up downtown, we could go to dinner after? it’s wine night at the bar across the street from the exhibit
the adrenaline that escaped you earlier shot back through your body like lightning, you looked through his profile again. he’s so gorgeous, it seemed too easy — is he a catfish? there’s no way he’s just walking around single with a face like that, and he wants you?
an art exhibit, wine afterwards, it seemed so sophisticated. definitely what you were looking for.
you: yeah id love to! you: send me ur number we can talk details (:
for the days to follow, you and hyunjin had been texting constantly. goodmorning, goodnight, what you’re eating throughout the day, random thoughts you’re having, even deep talks that go as long as one to two in the morning. day by day he was tweaking your mindset bit by bit — every morning you woke up with the same thought, maybe dating isn’t so bad.
three days of a honeymoon phase did not go unnoticed by your family, or your friends.
“what’s got you in such a good mood, tiny?” your mom asked, mixing her coffee with a silver spoon at the glass kitchen table, one leg crossed over the other. you should be used to the nickname by now but it still makes you cringe — twenty two and still called tiny by your entire family.
you didn’t even realize you basically skipped down to the kitchen, pouring a cup of coffee for yourself while humming a song hyunjin had sent you last night. you whipped your head around to her, a smile on your face, “it’s saturday.”
her look was unbelieving, she knows you better than that. “you’re never this happy this early.”
“she has a date tonight,” your twin says through a yawn, walking through the kitchen, arms stretching above his head. “with a tinder boy.”
“ace!” you gasp, smacking his arm. you spoke under your breath, “why would you say that?”
“what’s a tinder?” your mom asked from the table, looking at you both with furrowed eyebrows.
you opened your mouth to speak but ace cut you off, “a hookup app.”
your mom gasped, eyes widening, “tiny!”
“it’s not just a hookup app,” san follows ace into the kitchen, black tee sitting tight against his skin, his arms flexing through the fabric — he was always your favorite.
“it basically is, every girl i’ve met on there i’ve hit,” the smirk is clear on ace’s face as he looks to san, who daps him up with a chuckle. san mutters a nice under his breath — immediately demoted from your favorite.
“that’s because you’re gross. we’re going to an art gallery and going to the bar across the street for wine night after,” you smiled, a proud look on your face as you turned to your mom. she didn’t share the glance.
“with who?” your step dad, matt, enters the kitchen from the living room, a mug of coffee in his own hands. “doesn’t sound like something the boys would do willingly on their saturday night.”
“great, let’s just make my date a family discussion, thanks ace,” you rolled your eyes, walking to the fridge to grab your bottle of oat milk.
“a date? you don’t go on dates, tiny,” matt asks from the opposite side of the kitchen, hands on his hips, his coffee mug on the counter next to him.
“i do now,” you huff while pouring the oat milk into your coffee. “don’t ask any more questions, i’m going. end of story.”
matt pulls his lips into a thin line, “not sure i like the sound of this.”
“she’ll be fine,” ace counters as he walks to your side, the gallon of whole milk he just took from the fridge in his hands. “if she needs anything she has at least four different people she can call, one of us being six foot two.”
“exactly,” you nod, mentally thanking ace for backing you up. he looks to you with a tight lipped smile and a hand on your shoulder, his way of saying you’re welcome. maybe you do have a little bit of telepathy, you’d have to tell hyunjin.
getting ready was hard — you looked at hyunjin’s profile on tinder at least six different times before settling on an outfit. in one of his pictures he had on two tank tops, one fitted and one loose with a graphic covering the space, a beanie on his head, a pair of denim shorts and loafers. he was definitely into fashion, if anyone else had tried to wear that same outfit they’d look insane, but he pulled it off with ease.
in another he wore black denim jeans, a fitted black quarter zip sweater that covered half his hands. he had his hair tied up and big glasses on his face —- such a simple outfit curated in a way that made him look so expensive. you just knew he’d show up in something immaculate, you had big shoes to fill to match his vibe, but you’d do it. you wanted to impress him, you needed a boyfriend out of this, after all.
the one thing you had in your possession, the only thing that looked nearly as expensive as him was a long coat that was your mother’s. it took ten minutes of begging but she let you borrow it for the night, your only issue was basing the rest of your outfit around the coat. jeans didn’t look dressy enough, dress pants didn’t look girlfriend enough. you settled on a mini skirt with a pair of tights underneath, you had a pair of knee high boots and a sweater that pulled everything together. the coat fit you perfectly and hit almost the height of your boots, it was the perfect length. you spent at least an hour on your hair, another hour on your makeup, by the time you were finished getting ready you felt like you had really pulled the expensive look off.
“it isn’t ten degrees outside, you know,” ace said as he sat too casually on your bed, your shared three best friends accompanied him on the white sheets.
“i look expensive, do i not?” you played with your hair as you stood in front of your full length mirror, shooting daggers at your twin through the reflection.
“you look like you're in your mom’s coat,” yeosang said from his spot on the bed, peeking his head around san’s shoulder.
you scoffed as you turned around, “all you guys do is insult me, how am i supposed to feel any ounce of confidence before my big date?”
“i think you look great, tiny,” yunho turned his head to look at you from his spot on your bed, his massive frame taking up half the mattress. with his head laid on your pillows, his feet still dangled off the edge of your queen sized bed.
“thank you,” you smiled to yunho, the only one who understood what a girl needs to hear before a date.
your parents were close friends with the parents of the three boys on your bed, the lot of them have been a friend group since before you were born. you and your twin had no choice but to be friends with them growing up, forming your own friend group with the three boys that never disbanded, only grew closer despite your age differences. you always assumed you’d be close with them forever, that’s just how it was, how it’d always be.
they were great friends most of the time, ace wasn’t kidding when he said you had four people you could call in any situation, any emergency, they’d always pick up. they were as much as your brothers as ace is, you considered all three of them like family.
“i think you look great too, you gonna fuck him?” san perched an eyebrow, wiggling them with a mischievous smile as you made a face at him.
“i am not a fuck on the first date kind of girl,” you shrugged, walking over to your vanity to check your makeup again. you grabbed your tube of lip gloss as you sat down, uncapping it to swipe over your already glossed lips.
“how do you know?” yeosang giggled from the bed, “closest thing you’ve ever had to a date was prom, and you went with me.”
“that’s actually true,” you shrugged after applying the gloss, “maybe i might. who knows?”
“i hope you do, god knows you need it teens,” ace mumbles from the bed, his phone in his hands again – probably texting his girlfriend, reia. the pair had been together for six months, your twin’s longest relationship yet. you hadn’t had many chances to hangout with her, but from the times you have she seemed pretty cool, probably too good for your brother.
“i feel like maybe you shouldn’t be the one to say that to me,” your lips pulled into a line as you turned into your chair to face the group. “anyways, who’s driving me? the exhibit is downtown, like twenty minutes away.”
“yun’s the only one who has his car, unless you want one of us to drive your car,” san offered, and the other two boys immediately looked to yunho.
“guess i’m taking you,” yunho said, sitting up on the mattress, no trace of malcontent on his face. “you ready to go now?”
you nodded with a smile, hopping up from the wooden chair. your parents didn’t ask many questions before you left, just telling you to be safe and don’t do anything they wouldn’t do. knowing their background there wasn’t much they wouldn’t do, your mom’s college stories haunt you to this day.
the smiths played through the speakers of yunho’s car on the drive there, softer rock music instead of the usual heavier music he listens to. you brushed it off to the rain that dripped down the windows of the car, the vibe outside not much for heavy rock music with a loud, thumping bass, the emotional and almost melancholic vibe to steven patrick morrissey’s voice was a perfect match.
“i’m happy one of us is taking you,” yunho finally spoke, the music quiet enough for you to hear him clearly. he looked over at you and smiled, the fingers on his right hand still wrapped around his steering wheel. “i don’t have to go over the whole call me if you need anything spiel, right?”
you laughed, “no, i know already, ace said it to matt this morning. i have four people i can call, blah blah blah.”
“i’ll leave my ringer on, so call me, don’t even bother with ace,” he shook his head, shifting his eyes back on the road in front of him – you missed the way his fingers gripped the steering wheel a little harder. “anything could happen, you don’t even really know this guy.”
“i know too much about this guy after only texting him for three days, trust me,” you laughed, “everything will be fine, i’m just looking at some paintings and having a glass of wine.”
“alright,” was all he replied, keeping his gaze on the road. yunho had never been one for many words, he was the one out of the three that you knew the least about. he kept his secrets close to him, was intentional when he spoke, only said what needed to be said always, yet he was still somehow the one you felt the most driven toward whenever you hung out. maybe it was because you knew way too much about the others, it left a certain curiosity about yunho.
you looked down at your phone, a new text from hyunjin from one minute ago was the only thing on your notifications screen.
hyunjin: just got here! i’ll wait for you inside the lobby :)
you: i’m pulling up now !
yunho pulled over in front of the gallery, looking toward you with another tight lipped smile. “have fun, be careful, please call me if you need anything.”
“gosh, i will, jeez,” you smiled, all teeth, then unbuckled yourself. “thank you for the ride, i’ll see you later if you’re still at the house, gonna hopefully bum a ride home from hyunjin.”
“i can pick you up, too,” he adds, and you roll your eyes. you open the door, sliding out of the car onto the slick sidewalk.
“jesus, yunho, if you wanted to see me that bad you should’ve just taken me to the damn art gallery,” you teased, resting your hand on the top of the car door.
his smile is wide as he teases, “your grandma fucking adores me, tiny.”
“goodbye, yunho!” you called as you shut the car door, a smile on your face as you began your walk up to the building that held the exhibit.
within a second of being by yourself, reality seemed to hit you fast. just behind the tall, dark doors, stood a gorgeous man who was meeting you – taking you on a date, to an art exhibit at that. it all felt so sophisticated, so mature, maybe this would be easier than you thought. who knew tinder would produce such a well thought out date?
as you pushed open the door to the exhibit, you were greeted with a fucking museum. cream walls, pillars, the whole thing – you were grateful you dressed the way you did. your eyes scanned the people in the lobby, searching for mister tall, dark and handsome himself.
as your eyes finally laid on him, you were really grateful you dressed the way you did. his hair was down, curly and messy yet still put together, a matching corduroy set of pants and a jacket, a black tee underneath. necklaces sat around his neck, laid across his chest, bracelets on his wrist and rings on his fingers – he made such a simple outfit extravagant, he looked like he had a personal stylist, someone to dress him with clothes that were tailored just for him.
as you walked towards him, you felt your body locking up, the excitement you felt moments prior transformed to straight nerves. your eyes raked over his build, lean yet muscular, his jaw perfectly chiseled, as his eyes met yours it nearly took your breath away. he smiled, so wide you couldn’t help but return it, he was even more gorgeous than his pictures – in person, hwang hyunjin was fucking breathtaking.
“hey beautiful,” he smiled as you finally approached him, wrapping an arm around you in a quick squeeze. “happy to finally see your pretty face in person.”
“i could say the same thing to you,” you laugh, it comes out nervous, your breath unsteady. “what’s the opposite of a catfish?”
he threw his head back in a laugh, “you flatter me,” he waved his hand side to side, his smile so fucking contagious. instead of deflating, your nerves flare up worse, remembering that this isn’t just a first date with a beautiful man, this is your first date ever. dates didn’t come with an instruction manual, you didn’t know how to act, what to say, what to do. you don’t even like art like that!
he cut off your thoughts, “you ready to go in? i already got us tickets.” the way he looked at you was so inviting, his chocolate eyes so warm it made you dizzy. you nodded with a smile and he led the way, the man working the door offering a hey hyunjin as you walked into the exhibit. you lifted a brow, but thought nothing of it as he grabbed your hand, leading you to the first piece.
his hand completely swallowed yours – veiny hands, long fingers that were covered in silver and nails painted black, you couldn’t take your eyes off of them until he spoke again, letting go of your hand.
“a replica, an ode to josep llimona,” hyunjin stands close to you, nodding toward the sculpture in front of him, then looks down to you. “do you know desolation?”
you shake your head once and he continues, “it’s a sculpture, made in 1907 that’s in the museum of catalonia in barcelona. what do you see when you look at it?”
you look at the sculpture, your head tilting to one side. it was a naked woman leaning onto something like a rock, her fingers intertwined, her face hidden by her hair. she looked distraught, like something terrible had just happened, as if she was suffering or mourning.
“i see a woman in despair,” your words are quiet and he smiles, a wide grin showing all of his teeth. you frown, “it’s sad, i want to help her.”
“in the early 1900s there was a bunch of different pieces of art made for temples, this piece was a part of that group, well, a replica of the piece,” he tucks a piece of hair behind his ear, eyes trained on the sculpture before you. his passion was raw as he spoke, “within the group, artists made sculptures of women that had feelings like grief, despair and resignation. the whole idea behind it was capturing feelings instead of beauty.”
“but she is beautiful,” your eyebrows furrowed together, bringing your eyes back to the sculpture before you. you frowned again.
“notice how you can’t see her face?” he leans in closer to you, “her hair is covering it, but you can still tell she’s sad.”
your mouth forms a small o as you turn your head, looking up to him, “oh, shit— you’re right!”
“you’re adorable,” he smiles down at you, “do you know much about art?”
“a little…” your cheeks warm and you look away from him, a sleeve covered hand coming up to mask your blush when your faces had come closer than intended. “basically just what i was taught in high school.”
he lets out a small chuckle, “sorry to go all art nerd on you, then. i did a whole project on desolation last year.”
“no, no, don’t apologize,” you shake your head, “it’s really attractive, actually.”
he smiles again, a pink hue to his cheeks. “good to know.”
he moves to the next piece, long corduroy covered legs pulling you along as if he was tugging on a leash, you were whipped already. tall, gorgeous, respectful and smart, he seemed like the entire package. “ah, this one really speaks to me,” he says as he comes to a stop, squinting at the painting in front of him, crossing his arms over his chest.
“yeah?” you ask, a small smile on your face as you watch him, then look at the painting in front of you. it looked like… a bunch of colors. green, a reddish line in the center, then a deep blue underneath.
it simply seemed like a bunch of colors painted on a canvas, your eyebrows furrowed. “i’m gonna need you to go art nerd on me again, i think.”
he smiles, “this is number two, blue red and green, by mark rothko. it was made in 1958, oil on canvas— do you want the whole backstory or just a little summary?”
“whatever you want to tell me, i’ll listen,” you nod, shifting your weight to one foot, looking up to him as he spoke. his whole face lit up, he had stars in his eyes, you could tell he loved it here, loved art in general.
you loved listening to people speak about what they love, the passion that flows through their words, how they tend to overshare the little details that they find just as important as the big ones. as hyunjin spoke about the green red and blue painting you accidentally tuned him out, eyes focused on his own, his long eyelashes, how the lighting in the building made him look like he belonged to the exhibit.
exquisite, a masterpiece of his own, the way his tongue would sneak out of his mouth to swipe across his bottom lip, how his lips would part just enough to get a peek of the perfect set of teeth that lived inside. you gave him small nods as he spoke, not hearing a word of it, brain whirling about symmetrical his face is.
“it’s basically all about personal translation, how colors can evoke different emotions in people,” he nods, looking back at the painting, “it’s all about the viewer, how it’s interpreted.”
you looked back to the piece. you may have missed his monologue about the guy and the meaning but the art still looked like a bunch of colors to you — your head tilted again, your lips forming a pout. you wished you saw it how he did.
“not feeling this one, hm?” your head snaps back to look up at him, your eyes widening. he must have seen the look on your face.
“no, i love it, it speaks to me, too,” you nod, a nervous smile crossing your cheeks, the lie so clear on your tongue. maybe you didn’t think through what a date at an art exhibit would entail, especially going with someone who studies it. you were clueless in the cream colored walls, you wished you could see through his eyes, understand his thought process.
“it’s okay, definitely abstract,” he shrugs, the warm smile that was still on his face told you he saw straight through your lie but he didn’t mind, “at least you got desolation right on the mark.”
you run a hand through your hair, your cheeks becoming red hot, “i’m enjoying listening to you explain everything to me, though.”
“there’s cooler ones the further we go,” his head nods deeper into the exhibit, his hands finding his pockets. you try not to pout again, maybe if you understood red white and blue better his hand would be intertwined with yours.
as he brought you deeper into the exhibit, his statement sat with you in the silence, especially as you began skipping piece after piece — you thought that if this was his first time here and since he’s clearly an art guy, he wouldn’t be skipping anything. as you listened to the only noise, your boot covered feet hitting the floor, you remembered the doorman who called him by his name earlier.
“have you been here before?” you asked from behind him, your eyes trained on the maroon coloured corduroy.
“no, why?” it felt like a rebuttal as it left his lips, his eyebrows furrowing together, almost as if you insulted him.
“just wondering,” you kept your thoughts to yourself, keeping tabs on every flag you weren’t sure what color to give. as lost as you were in the exhibit, it still interested you to be here, to listen and learn from him as he spoke about the things he loved most — plus there was him, the tall, perfectly gorgeous man that stood in front of you.
the next hour was spent with hyunjin showing you pieces of art that you couldn’t begin to dissect, leaving him to pick them apart piece by piece. the feeling of being on the outside faded with each new painting, new sculpture, new drawing, he made you feel as if art was a distant friend you just needed to catch up with, even if you had never been interested in art before today. the way he explained, the way he taught, how he asked you questions, it made you feel like you knew all the information already– just needed someone to help you remember.
hyunjin was easy to talk to, he was understanding— he was kind, first and foremost. your favorite so far was his thinking face, how he’s quiet as he stares, his arms crossed, his lips pursed. when he was thinking you could see the gears turning, you watched as that beautiful head of his began concocting some form of explanation, a feeling for what he was looking at, how he could explain it to you– how he could make you feel like you knew it already.
then there was his smile, the warmth to his fingers that found yours again, the softness to his palm that enveloped yours perfectly. you begin to forget why you never dated in the first place if they were like this, full of curiosity, such a shared openness between yourself and another person, learning about each other and how to connect in real time. even if you and hyunjin didn’t share a passion for art, your conversation still flowed, you bonded through humor and the smaller things you’d learned about each other through texting.
as you got farther into the exhibit, turning around and making your way back up to the front, you noticed hyunjin took off his teacher hat and put on his charmer hat instead. you didn’t notice the switch, but your cheeks burned on your walk back to the front more than they had the entire date.
“if you want to meet kkami so bad, why don’t you just come over instead?” there was a soft tug to the corners of his lips as he looked down to you, your fingers intertwined as you approached the exit to the exhibit. your adrenaline sparked, heart beating a beat faster, cheeks warming as if on command.
“you don’t want to have wine?” you asked, but you weren’t opposed to the idea– as soon as hyunjin mentioned his dog and sent you pictures of him yesterday, you were sold on meeting him whether that was today or eventually.
“i have wine at my place,” he shrugged, “i also have a record player and a dog.”
you took a moment to think– if you went to the bar, it’d be a public space, which is good for safety reasons and feels more casual than being in his apartment with just the two of you, almost takes the edge off. at the same time, his apartment would be quieter, more intimate, a calmer environment for you to get to know him better, you felt you knew enough about him already to be comfortable around him alone. plus he has a dog.
“what kind of wine do you have?” you lifted a brow, a small smirk playing on your lips. you were sold already, but he didn’t need to know that yet.
his smile was worth a million dollars as he said, “you said you like red, so i picked up an ‘05 burgundy, cote de beaune.”
your smirk grew wider, ignoring the comment about the wine that you were sure was supposed to impress you, “had a plan to get me back at your place all along then, huh?”
“can a man not manifest?” he asked, immediately pulling a laugh straight from your lungs. “that’s a yes then?”
“yes, but only because i want to meet kkami, even if he isn’t very nice. he’ll like me,” you wave a hand at him, passing through the exit where a different doorman gave hyunjin a nod of his chin – a small gesture that didn’t escape your eyes.
hyunjin’s car was nice, nothing special, it still had that new car smell mixed with that of his cologne. he played frank ocean through the speakers at a low volume, background music to the sound of the windshield wipers clearing his vision. you couldn’t help but stare as he drove, eyes lingering on his sharp jaw, how his hair curled around his neck. your focus caught on his ring clad fingers that wrapped around the steering wheel, ears perking up at the soft hum emitting from his throat to the tune of the song. it was comfortable, you were comfortable, you began to regret the last few of your life spent not dating.
when hyunjin unlocked his front door, the lights in his apartment were already dim, and the oreo colored ball of fluff ran up to you immediately. he barked at first, but after you bent down and greeted him with a few strokes to his back, kkami was on his back and quiet, enjoying your affection.
“i told you he’d like me,” you smiled up at hyunjin through your eyelashes.
“i didn’t doubt you for a minute,” he stood smiling with an arm out in your direction. he had already hung his coat on the rack beside the door, he stood above you with a hand out in an offer to take yours too. you stood and began to take it off but he stopped you, painted fingers slipping underneath the wool to slip it off your back himself.
a blush crept back onto your cheeks again as you muttered a thank you, finally looking around to take in his space. all of his lights were dim, casting warmth onto his furniture, all dark and muted and cozy. his tables were all deep wood, there wasn’t much brightness in his space, not even in the books that littered the shelves on his walls. he had a tv across from the couch with a table in between, as you took off your shoes and stepped closer into the space you noticed art magazines laid across the surface.
the art on his walls were all of the same type, you supposed, you wondered if he made them himself. a fuzzy throw blanket laid over the couch, plants lived in the corners, hwang hyunjin’s space was so inviting. you were glad you came here– one look at his own space showed you even more about him.
hyunjin skipped through the apartment, lighting candles, opening his windows just a crack to let the noise of the rain hitting the ground slip through.
“you can sit on the couch if you want, make yourself at home. i’ll grab us some glasses, put some music on,” he said with a hand halfway in a candle, flicking a lighter with his thumb. he was really dedicated to setting the mood.
you nodded and sat on the couch, kkami jumping up beside you on the cushion, crawling onto your lap. you pet his head down to his back, cooing at him getting cozy on your lap, pulling your legs up to cross beneath you.
you heard the scratch of the record player and you turned to see hyunjin standing over it, placing the tonearm on the record while somehow carrying the wine bottle and two glasses by the stem between the fingers of his other hand. music fills the space of the apartment as he walks over to the couch and places the glasses on the table, pouring both of your glasses and placing the bottle between them.
“i can’t believe he’s being this nice,” he says as he sits next to you, an arm swinging over the back of the couch, one leg folded in front of him as he looks down to kkami.
“is this solomon burke?” you ask, eyebrow perching up as you catch the music playing through the apartment, you recognized his voice before the song.
hyunjin looks shocked, his eyes wide and his head tilted slightly forward, “i cannot believe you know that.”
“when did this come out? the sixties?”
“1964 to be exact, rock ‘n soul.”
“when i was younger i had a small infatuation with the movie dirty dancing, my favorite off the album is–”
“cry to me,” you both say in unison, then burst into a fit of giggles, kkami leaping straight off of your lap from your movement.
“i love old music like this, it’s so raw, full of soul,” hyunjin says, grabbing your glasses from the table and handing yours to you. he swirls his around in his glass and you copy him, swirling your own before taking a sip. you tried not to cringe at the taste.
“when men weren’t afraid to say what they wanted to,” you agreed, continuing his thought with your own, “so open in showing emotion, their feelings, their passion. i love it too.”
“ah,” he nods, “that could never be me, i don’t think i could ever hide what i was feeling for a second, i don’t have it in me. i wear my emotions on my face, and proudly.”
you smile, “that’s good, better than good, it’s refreshing. never change that.”
“i don’t plan to,” he shakes his head, taking a sip of his wine, the two of you falling into a moment of silence.
“is this where you make me tell you my deepest, darkest secrets?” you joke, taking a sip from your own glass– you were never much for wine, at your big age of twenty two the most pleasurable alcohol you’ve tasted is a surfside. you get it down without a change to your face, looking through your eyelashes to the man before you.
he lets out a sound of amusement, “you can start by telling me what you’re looking for, then we can get to your deepest darkest secrets.”
“i already told you, i just wanted to go on a date, see where it goes– i’m not looking for anything specifically,” you shrug, referring to one of the first conversations you had through text. you were lying straight through your teeth, you didn’t need to tell him the whole boyfriend before thanksgiving spiel.
“not about the date, dummy, what are you looking for in a partner?” he tilts his head, sinking into the couch, getting more comfortable.
“that’s basically asking me for my deepest, darkest secrets,” you roll your eyes, then give yourself a moment to think, process his question. did you even know what you were looking for?
you thought about your cousins, their partners, your parents, your stepdad, ace, his girlfriend, their dynamic… you knew what you didn’t want.
“i want someone who knows me,” you start, a blush creeping to your cheeks again, “someone who knows the ugliest parts of me and still wants to be with me. someone who knows what i’m thinking, what i’m going to say before i do because they’ve paid that much attention to me.” you brush your hair behind your ear, letting out an uneasy breath. “i have a big family, and they’re really important to me… despite how insane they all are. i want someone who understands that, and my family becomes just as important to them.”
hyunjin nods, his warm eyes trained on you as if he was pulling the thoughts straight from your head, pushing for you to keep going. you welcome the push as your thoughts start to flow freely.
“i want to be with someone true,” you smile, “i want a partner who’s honest, true to themselves and true to me, doesn’t fake anything, none of that sugar coating shit. a true partnership, teamwork, someone who really means it when they say through thick and thin, someone who doesn’t run when shit gets hard.”
“a relationship is pointless to me if it isn’t built on trust, i want to be able to have full faith in my partner and they also have it in me. to be known is to be loved,” you smile, then the smile drops as soon as you realize everything you just said. three sips of wine and you already can’t shut up.
“every time i’ve asked that question in the past, every girl has always said something along the lines of i want someone handsome, funny, smart, kind,” hyunjin’s face is unreadable, a blank expression, yet there’s something tugging at him. “no one’s ever given me such a real answer before.”
“i didn’t mean to, i don’t know where that came from,” you say honestly, then sip your wine again, a bigger sip this time. if you were going to talk like this then you might as well catch a buzz before you do.
“i like the honesty,” he smiles, “and i agree with a lot of it– i can be a lot sometimes, with what i’m passionate about, how my interests can change within a day’s time. i’m not very organized, i like to do things without a schedule, more spontaneous than planned. that’s not everybody’s cup of tea, so if someone were to be with me for real, i’m a lot to take on.”
“i do like spontaneity,” you nod, “but i am definitely more of a planner, i was happy we made plans days in advance. gave me time to mentally prepare,” a laugh leaves you. “you’re definitely a more passionate person than i initially thought.”
“there’s a lot more passion you haven’t seen yet,” he winks, then takes a sip from his wine.
you giggle, “yet?”
“yet,” he nods in confirmation, and there’s something about the way he’s saying something without saying it, making you read between the lines but also being so obvious. it’s his confidence, the way his jaw is set but he looks so soft, so inviting, it makes you want to lick the line from below his ear to his chin.
maybe san and ace were right – maybe you did need this, maybe you even wanted it. you couldn’t put your finger on why that sentence made your body run hot, a burning in your core that you haven’t felt in ages, a want for somebody else that wasn’t fully based on looks or a system full of a frat house’s jungle juice.
“when do i get to see it?” you ask, tilting your head, letting your tongue slip out to lick your lips. a smile graces his own, like he was hoping for that answer. you weren’t sure where your own confidence was coming from, maybe it was being so honest with him, a feeling of being connected to him through your own revelations – things you haven’t shared with anyone else.
“just say the word, baby,” his words are like velvet as they leave his lips, kissing your ears with such a sweetness you were willing to start begging. you’d never been called baby by anyone, never been so wound up so quickly by something so inexplicably sexual – you decided then and there that your first ever date was only going to end one way.
as if on cue, the song changed, cry to me by solomon burke playing through the record player, the soft cracks of the vinyl making you feel as if fate was in the dim living room, too.
“show me,” your words were barely above a whisper, the eye contact you were holding was so strong, so powerful it felt life changing when he moved across the couch.
he took your glass from your hand in silence, setting the pair on the coffee table, then his hands were on you. his right hand came under your jaw, his left in your hair and then he took a pause, giving you a second to burn the sight to memory, making sure you felt the intensity of his stare before he leaned forward, attaching his lips to yours.
his lips were as soft as they looked, plump and sweet, tasting like the wine you’d been drinking and notes of himself, raw and unfiltered. the kiss was deafening, your ears rang, you were putty in his hands from the moment his painted fingertips touched your skin. your hands went to his forearms, fingers latching onto his soft skin as his lips moved with yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth the second your jaw opened wide enough to let him in.
your lips were still touching as he mumbled, “taste just as sweet as i thought you would.” you could feel him smile into the kiss as you replied with a noise of satisfaction, somewhere between a moan and a whimper.
he moved to sit back on the couch, legs bending with his lips and hands still on you, forcing you to follow him backward. you lifted up on your knees and crawled on top of him, settling yourself into his lap. you ignored your skirt as it lifted, forcing yourself free of its confines, letting it rest just below your ass and high on your thighs as your hands moved to his neck, fingers twining into his hair, tangling in the roots.
a low groan left his lips when you offered a sharp tug to his dark locks, his hands moving from your head down to your waist, one slipping down to the plush of your ass. you gasped into the kiss, welcoming his tongue again, effectively silencing you while making your head spin.
you stayed like that for awhile, making out on his couch, hands exploring and touching and feeling and not quite taking the step to go farther. when he finally pulled away and let his head fall to the back of the couch you pouted, the voice in the back of your head telling you to follow him backward, to lick up the column of his neck he was showing off so proudly.
“i didn’t bring you here just to sleep with you, you know,” he admits, his expression turning serious, lowered eyes locked on yours through long lashes.
you nodded, bringing a hand up to wipe the remnants of your messy makeout from your bottom lip with low, cracking music from the record player still filling the space of his living room. you felt as if he was leaving the next step up to you, and you were met with two choices: to cut it off here, not go any further, maybe kiss a little more then go home, maybe even plan another date. or you could grind yourself against his lap, lick up his neck like you want to, and finish what you started.
“okay,” you blinked, not missing how his chest rose and fell, a need disguised by heavy breaths locked within his chest that he was trying not to show. he wanted this just as much as you did, the only choice was the latter— you weren’t used to the choice being left to you.
“what if i want to?” you asked, batting your lashes, a ghost of a smile sitting on your lips. his own smile grew, his fingers grabbed your hips, his hips bucking upward to push you toward him once more.
you kept him there, back against the couch, head tipping off the back of it as you acted out your fantasy, dragging your tongue from just above his collarbone to his jaw. he groaned again, a vibration against your tongue as your lips worked onto his neck, his fingers gripping your hips harder. he used his hands to move you, grinding you against himself until you could feel what you needed pressing up against your too clothed center. you gasped into his skin– it was hot, the feeling of being guided yet knowing you were the one holding the reins.
you didn’t need his hands anymore as your lips met his again, hips rocking against him all on your own as your fingers clutched onto his roots, tugging at them to bring him closer to you. it felt like a dance, one that you’d been performing for years, your bodies moving in sync with one another so perfectly you almost forgot you met each other a couple hours ago.
his fingers reached for your sweater, you broke the kiss just long enough for him to tug it over your head, your fingers immediately reaching for the hem of his own shirt. he unclasped your bra with one hand rendering your chests bare against one another, the heat between you only intensifying with his skin against yours. he leaned off the back of the couch and you moaned as his hands made their way up to your chest, thumbs dancing over your peaks with a feathered touch, your hips plummeting into his own.
“so perfect,” he breathed, attaching his lips to your chest instead and your head fell back with a sigh, back arching into his touch. “so sensitive.”
“always,” you mumbled, voice sounding completely dazed, yet you made the conscious decision to not share that your sensitivity was from your lack of experience. not that you haven’t slept with many people, you did go to a big school, but it was never like this. basically sober, so intimate, watchful eyes on your reactions and words spoken between kisses, never with a man anything like hwang hyunjin. you were used to drunken quickies with finance majors, a quick rub to your clit before they slipped inside, in the bathroom of a frat house or if you were so lucky, a bedroom on the top floor.
his hands fell to your thighs, fingers trailing over the nylon, thumbs rubbing circles on the inside as his pretty pink lips worked on you, your hands finding refuge in his roots again, scratching into his scalp.
“wanna move to my room?” he looked up to you and it snapped you out of your haze, nodding down to his chocolate covered eyes, and he stood. palms holding onto your ass, strong thighs hoisting you up, your legs wrapped around his tiny waist as he walked you through his living room, down a hallway and laid you onto the plush of his mattress.
his room’s lighting was just as dim as the living room, his windows already opened, a chill hitting the skin of your chest as your back hit the crimson duvet. he was quick to crawl on top of you, soothing the bumps that rose on your skin while straddling your legs with his own, fingers lifting your skirt up to your waist.
“this okay?” his eyes flickered to yours with a pause, thumbs hooked beneath the elastic of your tights. you nodded, lifting your hips so he could get them down your thighs, yet he still paused. “words, baby.”
your words were too quick, so eager it was almost laughable as you nearly cut him off, “yes, please.”
he took his time sliding the nylon fabric down your legs, taking your socks with them and throwing the ball of fabric to the floor. you were left in your panties and your skirt around your waist, the skirt he quickly discarded, your panties he left on.
“you’re so fucking gorgeous,” he said under his breath, eyes raking down your body from your head to your knees. “i’m so lucky.”
your face matched the bedspread, now you were really in unknown territory. your arms went up to cover your cheeks and he was quick to grab your wrists, lips coming forward to kiss the inside of your left one.
“don’t get shy on me now, let me worship you,” your chest was starting to match your face. it was mortifying being left bare for him when he was still clothed from the waist down, but it somehow made everything feel so much hotter. no man has ever spoken to you like this before, taken the time to learn you.
you watched as his chiseled abdomen folded when he dipped his head down, lips pressing against the skin of your stomach, licking right below your chest. his hands let go of your wrists to slide down to your hips, thumbs hooking into the fabric of your pink lacy panties as his lips left a trail of spit down your waist. you fought every instinct to keep your hips planted on the mattress as his tongue slipped out of his lips to swipe below the hem, a gasp leaving your throat, your joints locking under his touch.
“wore these just for me?” he asked with a smile on his cheeks, cocking his head to the side playfully, thumbs rubbing circles into your hips soothingly.
“shut up,” you mumbled, legs automatically closing around his shoulders out of embarrassment, only forcing his face down further to escape the cage you created. he giggled then placed a quick kiss on your clothed clit through the thin fabric, making a mewl rip from your throat, your hips bucking upward.
“you’re so sensitive,” he marveled, eyes widening a bit like he had just discovered ground breaking information.
you were growing impatient, hips no longer staying glued to the bed out of sheer will, you needed more. you whined, muttering a “hyunjin please” and his grin told you enough.
he was quick to get back on his knees and slip your panties down your legs, throwing them to the floor with the rest of your clothes and he pushed you up the bed, kneeling in front of you. his eyes stayed glued to your center as he laid between your legs again, nearly drooling as he spoke, “such a perfect little pussy.”
he licked a fat stripe up your folds and your head shot back, eyes screwed tight as a disgusting moan escaped your lips. he smiled into your core, you could feel it amongst his flattened tongue that worked you from bottom up.
“tastes as good as she looks,” you couldn’t bother to be embarrassed anymore, hips bucking into his mouth, your hands flying to his hair. he groaned into you, lips sucking harder around your clit, listening to your moans for what you liked best.
he worked up to a rhythm, sucking on your clit and licking swirls with his tongue before you felt the painted tip of his finger poking at your entrance.
“yes, yes,” you repeated through a moan and he pushed in, his finger immediately curling upward and you saw stars. eyebrows furrowed and mouth hung open you were choking out moans, repeating words of affirmation to hyunjin that you hoped made sense.
as your stomach began to tighten, you couldn’t believe it. no one else had ever made you cum before, that’d always been something you could only do by yourself. excitement bubbled in your stomach as well as your impending release, words flying out of your mouth you couldn’t even decipher.
“please make me cum, please hyunjin i’m close,” your mouth was moving before your brain could think of the words, back arching off the bed and fingers yanking at his hair, you were praying he’d get you over the edge.
hyunjin kept his rhythm, curling his finger inside you and sucking at your clit until he felt you clench around him, your body locking up. your toes curled as your back arched up off the bed, thighs strangling his head between them, chin tucking into your chest as you cried. mumbles of i’m coming please don’t stop left your lips repeatedly as the dam in your core cracked open, you felt static in your veins and such a vicious shake to your body that seemed to last forever.
when your body went limp and you let go of his hair, hyunjin broke free, coming up for air with his tongue swiping at his swollen lips.
he crawled up your body, mouth finding yours quickly and you melted into the mattress, arms hooking around his neck. “so good at that,” you mumbled between kisses, “made me cum so hard.”
“that was the goal, baby,” he smiled into the kiss, his right arm flying down to his belt. you met him halfway, fingers unhooking the silver buckle while your lips never parted until you finally pulled it from its loops. you unzipped his corduroys and your hand reached above his briefs, palming him over the fabric.
he groaned, his cock rock hard against your skin, and you smiled. “i need you,” you said, lips still touching his, and the sound that left his mouth straight into yours was lethal.
he got his pants off in record time, reaching for a condom in his nightstand. he rolled it on with ease and slipped right back between your legs, your ankles in his hands. he kissed the inside of your ankle once, twice before he wore his serious expression again. “tell me if you want to stop at any point, okay?”
“i will,” you nod, twitching with impatience before he lined himself up with your center. he pushed in slowly, your entrance slick with your orgasm didn’t give him much resistance. you moaned at the same time when he bottomed out, your eyes flying to the back of your head and his head fell forward.
hyunjin wasn’t thick but he was long, you could feel him so deep. it was a delicious stretch, a feeling he shared as he said, “feel so good around me baby, pussy’s so perfect.”
you moaned in response, hips moving to create some friction, begging him to move. he caught on, slowly pulling out before rocking back into you, letting go of your thighs to lean over your frame.
you felt small beneath him, as tall as he is he felt massive above you, inside you. your ankles hooked around his back, thighs pushing him inside you as your chests met.
“so fucking big,” you moaned out, nails clawing at his shoulders as he picked up the pace. his right hand moved to your jaw, holding it steady to press his forehead to yours before he connected his lips with yours again.
the kisses were nasty, more tongue and spit than anything but it was so hot. you moaned into each other’s mouths, every inch of your skin touching, everything about it was so intimate. it was all so new yet you welcomed every part of it, hookups in frat houses would now be a thing of the past — there was no better than this.
“so tight, baby fuck,” his eyes were screwed tight as he picked up the pace, his head falling into the corner of your neck that met your shoulder. you let out small whimpers with each of his thrusts, the curve to his cock hitting every spot you needed it to.
“you g’na cum for me?” you sounded so fucked out you didn’t recognize your own voice, so weak and desperate.
“need you to cum for me first, pretty girl,” he lifted his head, rocking his hips into you harder, bringing his arm between your bodies to rub your clit.
“fuck,” you gasped out and his lips were on yours again, still all spit and tongue, he swallowed your moans as you felt the tightness in your stomach form again.
“cum for me, baby, please, cum around my cock,” he moaned as you clenched around him, his thrusts beginning to lose their edge as you approached your peak.
“i’m coming,” your words were rushed out as your second orgasm finally crashed over you, the most lewd noises leaving hyunjin’s mouth and directly into yours. you looked up to him with stars in your eyes, his own clamped shut, wet hair sticking to his forehead. he was beautiful like this — you were in awe.
“good girl, fuck, gonna fill you up,” his thrusts were erratic, not as precise as before as he choked out, “gonna make this pussy mine.” your ankles tightened around his back as he fucked you through your orgasm and towards his own, your back arching up into his chest, nails clawing into his back.
“cum for me,” your head was somewhere else, “wanna feel you, hyunjin, let me feel you cum for me.”
his hips stilled inside you, head falling to the pocket of your shoulder again, a deep groan leaving his chest. a moan escaped you, rocking your hips against his, milking his orgasm for as long as you could.
you lay there for a moment, hyunjin still inside you, your ankles hooked around his back with no sound except heavy breaths and the low music playing from the living room. after a few minutes he rolled off of you, laying on his back for a moment before he got up to discard the condom. you felt cold again, the shiver from his open window creeping over your skin again, bumps once again rising to the surface.
when he hopped back onto the bed with that beautiful fucking smile of his, warmth enveloped you once more. he pecked you once before hovering over your face, brushing a piece of hair away from your cheeks.
“you’re so beautiful, you know that?” his eyes bored into yours with a seriousness he wanted you to feel. you smiled, cheeks flushing, arms wrapping over your chest.
your lips scrunched together in your smile, muttering a thank you while shying away from his eye contact and shifting your focus to his pillows.
you felt like a brand new person — one that goes on dates, one that has sex, real sex. one that communicates, one that doesn’t shy away from a real conversation, one that is now fully open to having a relationship.
by the end of the night when you and hyunjin were fighting for him to take you home (you wanted to go home, he wanted you to stay the night) you thought that maybe you wouldn’t have to go on any more dates. maybe hyunjin was it for you, art nerd and all, he could be the one to show off to your cousins— get that family ring around your finger.
when he kissed you goodbye in front of your front door you were convinced. optimistic as ever and excited, full of adrenaline, you skipped into your dark house and fled up to your room, smiling from the time you hopped in the shower until your head hit your pillow.
wanna go on the next date?
8fd masterlist | main masterlist
perm tags: @chimivx :p
#hwang hyunjin#skz hyunjin#skz#stray kids au#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#stray kids#hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#skz fic#skz scenarios#skz smut#hyunjin x you#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin x female reader#hyunjin smut#hwang hyunjin smut#8fd
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Devotion
(cw: hypnotic elements, feralbreaking)
I scowled at the affini, trying again to yank my hands out of the leather and rope bindings. No good; they were firmly attached to the O-ring on the ceiling, a thick line connecting from that down to my outstretched wrists. I couldn't move from the spot, as there was a similar setup keeping my feet in place as well.
"What, that all you got? Going to tire me out from standing all day and hope I'll break?" I rolled my eyes and growled, "I'll never break."
"Perhaps you would, or perhaps not." The affini smiled, resting her head in her palm as she watched my struggling. "Fortunate for you that this is merely the beginning of what I have in mind, then."
Next came a metal rod that spread my ankles wide, cold to the touch and jangling with every kick I attempted.
"But not just to break you."
Then came her claws, cleanly and efficiently tearing through cloth as easily as air. I shivered as the air hit skin, and felt my face warm as she stopped once more to gaze at me.
"I want to show you how it feels to love me."
Yet still, she wasn't done.
A pair of strange cups that attached to my nipples.
A strange harness of rope, worn around my waist and thighs. A strange tool was attached, the tennis ball-sized head pressed directly against my...well.
A blindfold, leather on one side and soft smooth fabric on the other, cutting off any trace of light as it perfectly sat on my face.
Several injections from her vines, each one a slight prick of pain.
And finally...a thick pair of headphones, snuggly covering my ears.
There was a soft *click*, and then her voice came through.
"Now I have you where I want you. Well....almost. In a moment, I am going to leave you, but I will be turning on a few of the devices. You'll figure out the rest soon enough."
"I...what?" I was rewarded for my question with a stinging pinch on my nipples, causing me to suck in air through clenched teeth.
"That stung!" Another pinch, sharper this time.
"Welcome, petal. Are you ready for your maintenance?"
I stayed silent.
"Good! Why don't we get started, then.
"Your name is toy."
I clenched my teeth and hissed, "Fuck you."
Pinch. "Your name is toy."
I scowled. It pinched me again when I didn't respond.
"Your name is toy."
"Go fuck yourse-OW!" It was much harder this time, enough to have me twist in pain. The drugs she had given me had only multiplied my sensitivity, and even these pinches were already driving me insane.
"Your name is toy." Pinch.
"Your name is toy." Pinch.
"Your name is toy." Twist.
"ALL RIGHT, FINE!" I bellowed out, unable to keep going. Anything to stop the pain.
Silence for a beat, a moment. Then, "Your name is toy."
"My..." I swallowed, wishing I was anywhere but here. I breathed, "My name is...toy."
"Good toy." The vibrator increased in intensity, pulses of pure pleasure spiking up my spine and knocking the breath out of me in whimpers and whines. It felt too good, it felt too good.
The burst continued for a few more seconds, then lowered to a barely more reasonable level. I thrashed, trying to escape, trying to do anything, but-
"Your full name is toy Lysilla, Third Floret."
I felt it. I felt the urge to just agree. I didn't want to feel the pain again. I knew it wouldn't stop until I gave in, now.
I still remained silent.
The next pinch on my nipples tore a white-hot scream from my lips, the searing pain causing my legs to give out, hanging limply from my wrists.
"Your full name is toy Lysilla, Third Floret."
"My f-full name...oh, god...my full name is toy Lysilla, Third...Floret." I felt pinpricks of tears soak into the fabric of the blindfold at the words. I almost didn't realize I was saying them.
"Good toy."
The pleasure rushed back in a flood, the pinching and twisting on my nipples changing to soft kisses of cool soothing harmony. I moaned before I could stop myself.
"You are a toy." Why did her voice have to sound so...so nice?
"I'm a toy."
"Good toy. you are my toy." Why was she even doing this? I had nothing to tell her, nothing to offer.
"i am your toy." Fuck, I could feel my control slipping. I needed to...i needed...
"Good toy. A Good toy obeys."
"A Good toy obeys." i needed more. Stars help me, but i needed more pleasure. It felt far better than it had any right to be. my hips moved on their own, thrusting in time with the pulses.
"Good toy. A Good toy relaxes."
"A g...a....goodtoyrelaaxxx..."
"Good toy. A Good toy sinks deeper."
My mouth stopped moving, but I repeated the words in my head, and in doing so they were real. I sank like a stone, deeper and deeper down.
"Good toy. A Good toy loves its Owner."
A Good toy loves its Owner.
i felt it. i felt my heart leap at the idea of Her. Of Her smile. Of her voice. She was...She was everything.
"Good toy. A Good toy feels its love build."
It did. It grew and grew, swelling like a symphony, rising like a sunrise, Growing like an old oak tree. i needed more. Love was obedience and obedience was submission and submission was pleasure and i needed more, and so i loved Her more. my pleasure was my passion for Her.
"Good toy. A Good toy is molded to My will."
i loved to be molded by Her. How did She already know? She was just that Good. Good enough for a Good toy to love, which i did with the utmost fervor.
"Good toy. A Good toy..."
---
The headphones came off first. The harness second, and the nipple patches third.
She saved the blindfold for last. "Hello, toy."
i stared at her as one did a Goddess, as one did after seeing daylight after decades of darkness. my love for Her had blossomed, just as She had intended. She wanted it, and so it was. And it was Good.
"i love you, Miss Lysilla."
"Of course you do~" She leaned down, taking my head in her palms. i nuzzled into them contentedly.
"And toy? I want you to know that I love you too, for always and forever. More than anyone and anything else in the universe and beyond...
"Enough to ignore what you want, and give you what you need."
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|ૂo̴̶̷᷄︿o̴̶̷̥᷅๑₎ა thinking of ceo!cait..
ceo!cait presents herself with an air of understated elegance. she embraces refinement that exudes subtleness yet a confident sense of wealth. she oftentimes wears crisp suits, blouses and well-tailored trousers whilst keeping her accessories minimal. her navy blue hair is always refined in a sleek, effortless style.
ceo!cait once made sure to complicate her tea order during your first day, fully expecting you to struggle to keep up with her previous strings of assistants who could never quite get it right, only to be inwardly impressed when you return to her office, tea in hand, perfectly replicating her specific preference.
ceo!cait's top priority is to be on time, no matter the given situation. in her mind, being late is inconceivable from her orderly (yet packed) schedule that guides her day.
ceo!cait lets her concern slip through her stoic demeanor when it comes to you. although she tries to maintain a cool exterior, there are moments when she can't help but ask a simple "are you alright?" the moment she notices even the littlest crease of your eyebrows, your shoulders tensing for a short second, or a barely suppressed sigh.
ceo!cait's office isn't as neat as people expect it to be. despite her known reputation for precision and perfection. her private office betrays a certain level of controlled chaos— while it has some semblance of cleanliness and order, with closer inspection, you'd spot a personal touch in the middle of the chaotic mix of neglected papers, dusted leather books, and odd trinkets across her messy desk.
ceo!cait ensures you're doing well in general, in or outside of work. she'd offer you a ride in her luxurious vehicle, or even grant you unexpected day-offs. she swears it's not favoritism nor growing fondness, but her actions implies the opposite, suggesting a deeper level of care.
Caitlyn: Good morning. Look outside your door. Consider it my gratitude for the exceptional work you've been doing. Take this time to relax and recharge.
hurrying to open the door, you find the doorstep of your apartment with a bouquet of flowers, carefully wrapped in a gold, silk ribbon. next to it lies a small, blue velvet box with a piece of paper with her familiar, nearly-unreadable handwriting. you're grateful, but you wonder how she knew your exact apartment coordinates. ┐( ∵ )┌

a/n: sneak peek for my ceo!cait x assistant!reader slowburn fic !! i guess.. i js shoved this out of my ass while i work 💔 no idea if it'd even be interesting :P
art creds: rimri4mm
#⠀♡ ˖ 🐇 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛⠀݁#͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏⠀#caitlyn kiramman x reader#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn kiramman x female reader#caitlyn x you#caitlyn kiramman x you#caitlyn arcane#caitlyn kiramman#arcane#lesbian#⠀c.k ♥︎୧͘ ࣭ ˖
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*head in my hands* Man. Cloud Strife and his insane cocktail of mental illnesses just continues to be handled so much better than you would expect out of a AAA video game.
Remake and Rebirth are really writing down and circling and underlining the sentence "CLOUD STRIFE IS UNWELL. CLOUD STRIFE EXPERIENCES HALLUCINATIONS AND BREAKS IN REALITY THAT NEGATIVELY IMPACT HIS ABILITY TO INTERACT WITH THE WORLD." That by itself is so huge.
We're getting better about depicting psychosis and related disorders in video games outside of ableist set-dressing in horror games, and there's some great work happening in that sphere of representation. But most of the time, if a game's protagonist experiences hallucinations, it is the capital P Point of the story. This is going to be a narrative about living with this condition, and a main focus of the story. Again, super super awesome. FFVII is not a story about having psychosis. It's a game about throwing hands with a corporate middle manager with unresolved mommy issues and an angel complex. And also the main character has hallucinations.
The player itself is not able to cleanly see the lines between real and not-real, either. You're not viewing Cloud's reality breaks as an impassive observer, sometimes they are treated by the game as genuine threats that can hurt you. And if you've played the game and have a level of meta knowledge, you still can't easily disregard the randomly appearing Sephiroths, because some of them are actually real. The player and Cloud are operating in pretty much the same level of buy-in to the hallucinations, in that you both know this is a thing that happens and will usually assume the hallucination is not physically present unless another character also comments on it. But you can never be sure.
And the way the other party members act about it. The remakes are hammering home "No, it's not that the other characters are polite, or oblivious. Cloud is not subtle. Everyone gradually pieces together that this is a thing that happens to him, and they are deeply concerned, but that can't really do anything to help." I so expected, the first time Cloud has a big obvious break in reality, for the rest of the team to question if he was alright, or if he was even fit to be on this journey. Cloud goes tearing off away from the group, chasing a specter none of the rest of them saw, and it's just a quiet conversation of 'hey, no one else saw what he saw, right?' And then they go and get their guy because he probably shouldn't be alone right now. They never attack him for it, or tell him he's going insane.
Everyone takes to it with so much. Grace. Hello, this is our party leader, he's an excellent swordsman and a good friend. Oh yeah, sometimes he sees things that aren't that there or goes into a weird coma state where he chants about reunion and doesn't seem to notice the world around him, so much so that one time he went into shutdown and tried to throw himself off a cliff. That's just. A thing they accept about him.
And especially with the fact that Remake chooses to drop the truth bomb extremely early that, even with his remarkable grip on his mental faculties, Cloud is dying. Couple years, maybe more, maybe less, but. Tifa and Barret (and possibly Aerith?) know that he is not expected to live long. And they still treat him with humanity and they don't try to stop him from going on a jrpg adventure and they don't tiptoe around him like he's fragile. They don't stop loving him, even as he starts to deteriorate.
It's just. Cloud Strife, man.
#I'm on mt. coral and being really normal about him#rebirth shouting through a megaphone 'EVERYONE KNOWS! EVERYONE KNOWS AND THEY LOVE HIM ANYWAYS!'#'HE IS STILL WORTHY OF DIGNITY AND PERSONHOOD! EVERYONE IS!'#gods the things this game is doing with the tragedy of the S-clones is really hitting for me#they're just guys! Cloud Strife is a representation of all the normal people being robbed of their personhood!#final fantasy#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#ffvii#ff7#ff7 rebirth#ffvii rebirth#ff7 remake#ffvii remake#compilation of final fantasy vii#cloud strife#essays#final fantasy vii rebirth#final fantasy vii remake
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Smut request, or just an ideaa
loser, pervy vi masturbating to reader!!
a/n: this made my mind turn to mush lol! i hope it's up to your standards, apologies it's a tad bit short.
loser vi! who can't stop cumming to the pictures you post on your social media, those frisky bikini photos that she just knew deep down you posted just for her. she's the first one to like your post. she had your notifications on so that she's always the first to comment, and it's always some dirty, lustful sentence that she'd never dare repeat outside the comfort of her private account, the one she has stashed away for just you.
you, the gorgeous person she set her sights on. she knew you weren't that out of her league; realistically, vi could get anyone she wanted with her muscles and her looks and her charm—but she was just too damn dumb to know how to make it work! she was a loser, a virgin at a whopping twenty-two! maybe that's why she couldn't get a girlfriend, why no girls called her back; she couldn't find the clit!
just the thought of you has her going. she's biting her pillow, whimpering your name as she squeezes her eyes shut tightly. her fingers move in and out of her sloppy hole, her arousal leaking out of her in waves, drenching the poor towel she put down for some level of cleanliness. it was pointless anyways, leaking through the towel, wetting her poor bedsheets and bed.
she made a mental note to bleach her entire room later cleanse it of her sins after she cums ofcourse
"f-fuck, baby," vi slurred almost as if she was drunk, "wanna── wanna taste you, wanna feel you, wanna──"
a loud, timely ding! coming from her phone made her drop the device, a tad bit startled.
vi paused her fingers for a moment to pick the phone up and squint at the notification at the top. her eyes slowly went wide with joy as if the gods were blessing her: you just posted a new photo.
she clicked on it so fast her screen almost cracked with how hard her finger came in contact with it.
her mouth went dry, all thoughts out the window. holy fuck, you, you, you fuck—
you were so beautiful wearing some frilly little sundress that barely covered a thing, posed by an apple tree, grinning cheerfully.
her fingers moved faster now, slamming into her hole.
she was such a loser, a dirty, dirty creep getting off to this. a mere picture? what would you say? if you knew she was using you, what would you do? god, she didn't even want to know what you would do. this was her dirty secret, one that only she knew.
another ding! another photo in the same genre: you were enjoying the outdoors; this one was the best. the camera angled in a way that made your cleavage stick out. fuck, fuck, fuck──
vi promptly squirted all over her phone, whimpers of your name on her lips. she blasted your comment section with her dirty thoughts, mind spinning and eyes bleary with tears. you made me cum so hard, mommy. i'm so wet. fuck, i just want to suck your tits. and little did she know, across town, a mischievous little thing known as you, was scrolling through her sinful comments with a smirk because, oh, the big overgrown puppy in heat had accidentally switched to her public account in the midst of her orgasm.
#arcane#violet arcane#arcane vi x reader#arcane vi x you#vi#vi arcane#wlw#18+ mdni#hannah's little corner ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
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[On Ao3] rate m, sex mention, steddie
Wayne was sitting on the couch as Eddie walked in, trailed by Steve Harrington, who smiled at Wayne politely as he walked past.
"Hey Ed? Door open," Wayne called down the hallway and Eddie rolled his eyes as he half closed his door behind them.
Steve was standing next to his bed looking confused as to where to sit. It was cute but slightly awkward, so Eddie shoved his chest, making him fall down onto the bed.
Steve landed with an "oof." He seemed unhappy with the cleanliness level, but Eddie just flopped beside him and ignored how prissy the other boy was, reaching over the side for his lunchbox without looking.
"So why does your uncle make you keep the door open?" Steve asked, conversationally.
"Oh, because he thinks we’re fucking and I guess he thinks I wouldn't fuck you with my door open."
Steve laughed nervously.
"I'm serious," Eddie said.
"That he thinks we're fucking or that you would do it with the door open?"
"Both. Especially if it's you. If you’d let me fuck you, I do it in front of him for all I care about anything besides fucking you."
Steve swallowed nervously and pulled at his shorts, suddenly hyper aware that he was wearing a sailor suit and laying on a man's bed, on his used sheets. Suddenly, some of the stains made a bit too much sense and the room felt a bit too warm.
Eddie was so entirely focused on rolling a few joints for Steve that he didn’t notice the man next to him having an entire meltdown at suddenly discovering a few new truths about himself. By the time he had rolled three and packed them away in an old Malboro’s box for transport, Steve had come to terms with himself.
“How quietly could you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Fuck me with the door open?”
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