#without consequences that mind

[beyourselfchulanmaria]

My thought . . .

後面的那個推手總是我自己，所以我從不怨天尤人。要學著接受自己一切的決定，如此你才能從谷底爬上來，你惟一的背包就是你自己，並非普世公認的後果，你的責任則是一如既往的帶著它(背包)，開疆闢土的邁向人生的盡頭無論如何。

I am always the one pushing me forward, so I never blame others. You must learn to accept all the decisions you make, so that you can climb out of the trough. Your only backpack is yourself, not the universally recognized consequences. Your responsibility is to carry it (backpack) as always, and move towards the end of your life without any problems.

Lan~*

[fatedroses]

POV: You laid hands on the garlean delegate, and suddenly there are two very pissed off elezen who just rotated you, standing there menacingly.

[bennetsbonnet]

Much has been made of Mr Darcy's "confession" to Elizabeth that he does not converse easily with strangers. It is repeatedly used to support neurodivergent interpretations of his character. And I suppose that when taken at face value, a character confessing that they do not easily converse with strangers and struggle to catch their tone or appear interested in conversation can absolutely scream AUTISM! (I say as an autistic person myself)

But this line is often taken in isolation. When considered in terms of the passage in which it appears in Chapter 31, it appears far less of a smoking gun than may initially be suspected. After some discussion about Elizabeth and Darcy's prior acquaintance in Hertfordshire, Colonel Fitzwilliam asks Elizabeth for information about Darcy's behaviour there. She readily supplies it:

'Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of,' cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'I should like to know how he behaves among strangers.' 'You shall hear then—but prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball—and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances, though gentlemen were scarce; and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner. Mr Darcy, you cannot deny the fact.' 'I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party.'

What Darcy leaves out here is that it was he himself who chose not to be introduced to anybody. As we learn from the description of his behaviour at the Meryton assembly in Chapter 3:

Mr Darcy danced only once with Mrs Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party.

Anyway, Elizabeth correctly does not buy his excuses. Not only does she respond with a cutting sarcastic remark, but she tries to bring the discussion with an end by speaking to Colonel Fitzwilliam:

'True; and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball-room. Well, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what do I play next? My fingers wait your orders.'

But Darcy does not get the hint and continues conversing with Elizabeth rather than quitting while he's ahead. However, I don't believe him to be missing a social cue here. Rather, this is an exceedingly conceited man who cannot conceive that anyone would not want to speak to such a Superior Being as he and more-so, is determined to defend himself from a perceived slight against his impeccable character.

Then we come to the passage containing the oft-cited line which allegedly contains proof of his neurodivergency:

'Perhaps,' said Darcy, 'I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction; but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.' 'Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?' said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?' 'I can answer your question,' said Fitzwilliam, 'without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.'

Once again, Elizabeth does not buy his excuse for even a single second. She's fully aware of all the advantages a man such as he will have received in society (opportunities not open to women, might I add!) and draws attention to that fact. It's a brilliant, cutting line from her and she really set that one up for Colonel Fitzwilliam to deliver the knockout blow.

Not only do we have the testimony of Mr Darcy's cousin, that 'he will not give himself the trouble,' to appear cordial to strangers, but we have evidence from Wickham too. Although after this statement, Wickham quickly goes onto misrepresent Darcy's kindness to the poor, which contradicts Mrs Reynold's later testimony, I do believe Wickham to be telling the truth (for once!) here, when he tells Elizabeth in Chapter 16:

'Mr Darcy can please where he chooses. He does not want abilities. He can be a conversible companion if he thinks it worth his while.'

Which, again, demonstrates that Darcy is capable when he wants to be. That is the crucial point. Autistic people fundamentally lack the ability to understand social cues, they cannot turn it on and off as they please because they are snobs.

So, now we come to the infamous line about Darcy's supposed social struggles, and I hope that I've provided enough context to the line to make you see that it should not be taken at face value:

'I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,' said Darcy, 'of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.' 'My fingers,' said Elizabeth, 'do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.'

Again, Elizabeth is not buying his excuses for even a single second and tells him if he feels like that, maybe he should put the effort in. She has seen him in numerous social settings and been thoroughly unimpressed with his behaviour which, when you consider his rudeness to her at the Meryton assembly, she has every right to be.

So, what do I make of the line?

Well, I think it's abundantly clear that Darcy absolutely can speak to people when he wants to. Perhaps, in his mind, he struggles to make that deeper connection and make friends easily. But making friends is not always easy, it's a process you must invest time and effort into. If you do not do that, it stands to reason that you will struggle. Plus, if you hold others to ridiculous standards (as Darcy does) without recognising and fixing the flaws within yourself, you're not going to have deep, lasting friendships.

While this quote may appear to be a moment of vulnerability where he does confess a fault of his, which is astounding given his pride, personally I do not think it was not a soul-searching exercise. It was to make Elizabeth stop grilling him. It was self-serving. Although, I don't think he's entirely lying. Darcy is veeeery careful with his words and though this statement is not considered and perhaps comes out rather abruptly, it doesn't necessarily follow that it isn't true. I can imagine that it is probably something he's felt for a while, yet it is a rather desperate attempt to defend himself from a woman who sees right through him.

I think perhaps Darcy does realise that he isn't as naturally gifted as other men he knows (such as Wickham, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Bingley) when it comes to forming acquaintances. However, he looks outwards and turns that bitterness against the world rather than looking inwards, reflecting upon himself and improving his manners which would be the correct thing to do. Thankfully, he later does this, but it took him twenty eight years...

In addition, Darcy appeared to have been under the illusion that he could coast by on Pemberley's reputation... which has always worked... until he met Elizabeth. For perhaps the first time, he encounters a woman who is not awestruck by him and his reputation and delivers the rebuke that he always needed.

So, while personally I'm inclined to believe there is some truth to his statement, as Mr Darcy is many things but he isn't a liar, I think it is said in desperation. His feeling stems from him knowing what he should do, but he can't be bothered to enact it... rather than any inherent social deficiency stemming from being neurodivergent.

Although, even if he does struggle socially, it's still no excuse for the rudeness he displayed to Elizabeth! My main issue with neurodivergent readings of Darcy is when they are deployed to defend his behaviour, when they attribute his rudeness to any potential neurodivergency and when they excuse his laziness. That is an awful message! Autistic people who struggle with social cues often do not, nor should they, go around insulting others. They should and often do put plenty of effort into being considerate and polite. In fact, I think, if anything, a love of rules makes us more likely to have good manners, rather than the reverse.

Ultimately, I'm not sure this line makes Mr Darcy the sympathetic-poor-sweet-innocent-shy-boy-autistic-representation that people want him to be. In fact it makes him look even worse, if anything. On matters such as these, he is every inch the conceited proud man he was widely believed to be at the Meryton assembly. Luckily, Elizabeth is an incredibly smart woman, who doesn't fall for it and immediately calls him out on his behaviour in a way that he has never experienced before. As she should!

[cozy-fantasy-stories]

Suvi is *by far* my favorite character in WBN. Like I get Ame and her idealism, and I get Eursulon and his passion, the Fox is hilarious and a fantastic foil.

But Suvi. My god Suvi.

I’m on my first relisten and she’s magnificent at every turn.

Children’s adventure and she stays inside. Does as she’s told. Doesn’t go out in the dark. Cleans up the bathroom! Waits. Alone.

She makes it in time—Grandmother Ren calls her my granddaughter and I am slain. Casts identify on the house!

Immediately says yes to helping Ame find the sword. No question. She doesn’t have to. But she does it.

Leaves a coin for the family and helps with the damn laundry! Do you know how practical that is?!

Immediately solves the being stuck problem for Eursulon. Terrifies that horrible little man with a Wild One under his boot. She rescues the music box, no question. Eursulon is free.

And Emliss.

Emliss.

Terrifying.

She ends Emliss, the Chalice, the shadow. The thing that *kills* Ame in a single turn.

The *indignity* of having to pay a hustler (FINLEY) for her mother’s coat lining. Yeah, okay, Eursulon went and made it all right (bet he never pays her back). But Ame talking about payment when she doesn’t even have money?!

Who fights for Suvi? Who defends her? Who thinks of her?

Ame making assumptions about the Citadel. (yes yes we get it institution bad we know what we’re listening to) But come on! Ame has no knowledge at this stage, just judgement!

Will Gallows. The Ace of Wands.

They never get the sword without Suvi in that room. Ice in her veins. Ice.

Who asked for “I’d like to count you among my friends.” Eursulon has the string in his pocket, but Suvi is the one who bargained for it.

Don’t even get me started on the Chantry and Morrow. I’m not doing it.

She gets them SAFE.

Resolves problems and defends her people with confidence and conviction.

She doesn’t deserve that dressing down from Steel. She doesn’t.

And Ame vanishes.

Off to talk to a murderess goddess that would end Port Talon in a heartbeat.

Of course Suvi goes to rescue her. Immediately! NO QUESTION. You think a search party would have found Ame?! With Orima of the Reaching Green as pissed as she was? HA. (but yes she’s thinking of Steel she doesn’t want to let Steel down not again not Steel)

Three days of walking and walking and walking.

(okay but Aabria having Suvi lose it is freaking brilliant and just absolutely incredible role play absolute perfection what a way to lean in)

And then Steel. Again.

Larger than life.

With the yelling. And the power. And the telemet.

Calls her a princess (dismissive) questions her like a prisoner (her adoptive mother really) and knows about the King of Night (suspicious).

And then.

Naram.

The Wild One heeds a call. The Witch arbiters consequences.

Our Wizard saves the godsdamned day.

She doesn’t run when it’s the derrick that’s at stake. She gets it. Even though she’s said awful things (you get what you get what a LINE trap a spirit and you get what you get bet she feels that way about Eursulon she trapped him she deserves it).

Suvi’s brilliance is not about what she says it’s about what she does. Galani mentions Orima and Suvi immediately moves.

Suvi’s quick thinking saves Port Talon.

Actually saves Port Talon.

She’s the one that does it. She’s the one that leads Orima to Naram. The reaching green and its *stranglers* and its indifferent cruelty to those in its way. ON THREE HIT POINTS.

And then Steel has the AUDACITY to act disappointed. (it’s not at Suvi not really but still).

Impossible odds.

Complex character choices and she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. Always thinking, strategizing, anticipating.

SUVI.

Love Suvi.

She makes the right choice. Every time.

[dykedvonte]

Jimmy killing himself because he knows he is incapable of living an life without Curly and knows that in the miracle chance they were found and saved they would not let him have contact with Curly and he hates the idea he'd actually have to take responsibility.

Even if he lied, its only a matter of time before Curly is capable of showing or telling what a monster he really is, no matter what delusions tell Jimmy Curly would never do that to him.

He understands that he was the monster in everyone's worse moments but refused to accept that at the end. So he made sure that he died without the possibility of it being actualized as he's the only one that saw death as an escape rather than a release. Jimmy truly didn't believe Curly had anything to escape from even after everything and let him have what he perceived as glory as the sole survivor and thus Captain of the Tulpar.

[passionfruitmango]

Kinda fucked up how corporations make people put up with death threats, being called slurs, and other general bullshittery without the customer being told "do not come back"

But the instant a burnt out employee reacts and tells someone they don't care if you dont like them? Fired.

[dxxtruction]

Do you think - all speculation here but let's indulge a bit anyway - do you think, from Armand's perspective when he's in all likelihood just heard Daniel voice his complaints and beg to be turned into a replacement for all Louis' lost, that that could be a part of his choice to then come in when Louis' on his neck? That a part of him was thinking... even if Louis is angry in the moment... that Louis would inevitably do it? (He could, at least?)

He kept him alive all this time. He'd shared with him things he never shares. It's morning and he'd still kept his attention. He's special, Armand knows without needing to hear it out of Louis' mouth.

And like, from his perspective does he see this replacement as the last thing Louis needs? Considering how well filling a void by making another vampire had turned out for him the first time. How he'd been filling a seemingly un-fillable void as it is. How he's unstable, and not in the right mind to be taking on such a responsibility. How it's a bad idea doomed to fail, only a more disastrous mess to clean up in the end if he doesn't stop this now. Or, maybe let's say he's only at all concerned with himself, Armand has many selfish reasons to want Louis to move on. So, he at least finds Daniel, the potential of Daniel, to be a threat because of what he'd be replacing - leading to Daniel as this wedge between something that was already splitting hairs as it was. Maybe it's a bit of both, and either way, whether it's a success or not Daniel poses something Armand can't handle.

Anyway it'll be interesting to see how, or if, they bridge the initial feelings towards Daniel on Armand's part with the Daniel we have now. Cause there's a lot of questions there. There's a strange sense of fondness towards him? At least this is something I'm seeing in their interactions so far.

[mangaken]

Hey...I usually just lurking in the fandoms, but I HAD to say this: I never expected i///zy to be such a toxic person in real life. They totally fooled me...I thought they seemed decent, turns out I was completely wrong and they didn’t even apologize to you. That's so messed up. I honestly don’t get why their partner is still sided with them after everything they did to them. Every single red flag in a relationship was there and they're still choosing to ignore it? Wild.

I'm really sorry you had to go through such a horrible experience with them. Seriously, no one deserves that. And thank you for speaking up about it..if you hadn’t shared, I wouldn’t have even known any of this happened.

Don't worry about it, anon. I wasn't expect people I know for years turns out to be toxic either. I think their toxic behavior manifested because their desire to have the relationship with the other person went south and use me like a scapegoat to blame me on everything.

It makes me more furious that the other person enable their behaviors too meanwhile pretend to be in the 'neutral' side. I do not know why they still sticking to them, anon. At this point, I don't really care what are their reasons. All I can see is that they enabled this toxic behaviors for I//z, knowing full well that they are ok with the I//z's fake accusations thrown to me and go along with it so they could be together. They are just as bad as the other.

It makes sense after all this years that they didn't change at all by lying to their close friends, claimed that I'm the bad guy for calling them out without evidences. Also it is not helping that some of the ex-mutuals from Nu fandom I know, not acknowledged I//z toxic behaviors at all, blaming me for blocking them (they expected I//z will come to my DM willingly to apologize, but sorry to disappoint, its not happening). It is a shame that most of the Nu artists out there blindly believe I//z words and start to dogpiling me for stating out the ugly truth.

Anyways, thanks anon. I'm just glad that there are some people like you listen and make judgement based on actual evidences unlike those people I've mentioned. I just want to voice my experience out there and its pretty hard to do so when we literally against the 'big' people.

[meteors-lotr]

I think eomer and tilda should team up and kill their partners abusive dad

It is a little funny, cause like Èomer and Tilda just do not get along, like they don’t vibe at all, and mostly bring out the worst in each other, but like they fully would form a temporary truce in order to fucking murder Denethor

[theramblingvoid]

"Body horror" yeah I agree, living in a body is horrific. That guy with a hundred eyes can stay though he's chill

[squirtbagging]

super passionate about inkfish anatomy and medical science except I cannot for the life of me decide how exactly their biological system is even set up

like absolutely props to splatoon for its perfect system for gameplay but like respawning solely with your soul and none of your exploded body starts to throw a wrench in what I want to be logical

[sepiasys]

Thinking about impulsive thoughts that aren't acted upon despite being deathly curious about them

[flowercrowngods]

and today in sometimes i write shit that fucks me up for weeks: time travel au steve & trees

Steve gets up. Goes into his room — not his room at all, it’s not his home, it’s not his — knowing Hopper won’t follow him, locks the door knowing El will unlock it if she needs him, and crawls under the blanket. He doesn’t cry, just curls up and lies there in numb misery of feeling too much, thinking too much, knowing too much, and not having the right words to express anything.

The air under the blanket gets too warm to really be comfortable, but he doesn’t want to move. He’s turned into a tree again, as El would put it. Another pang of guilt and misery runs through him, because he doesn’t want to be fucked up like that, fucked up enough for a child to call him a tree because he loses his reality a lot; but then the thought of being a tree almost feels so relieving it makes him want to cry.

Because trees don’t think about their friends dying. Killed. Murdered. By forces greater than this world’s imagination. Trees don’t watch the blood seeping from them over and over again until they lose their minds and go into shock that this world doesn’t support, instead tugging him back and forth until all there is is nothingness, because there is no time to think or feel or process, and once there is time, there is too much to even start. And no one to talk to about it. No one to listen.

If he could turn into a tree and never have a single thought again, he would without hesitation.

But he can’t, so he thinks, and the thinks until he falls asleep and the thoughts turn into memories morphed with fears until it’s Steve who kills them. Steve who fails. And Steve who does it over and over again. In the Upside Down, in Eddie’s trailer, at school, in Mike’s basement.

It’s Steve. Like it was Billy.

[…]

Walking on legs that haven’t quite accommodated to being upright yet, stiff and heavy in the dark of night, Steve makes his way through the forest, tumbling and stumbling, but never enough to make him stop. He’s heaving breaths now, willing the cold air into his lungs to stop everything from feeling so wrong, to break through the haze and the fog and the cotton, to pierce his insides with little pinpricks of ice as December is fast approaching. It only serves to make him more dizzy, his head spinning, glowing spots of black and white appearing in his field of vision until he leans against a tree, catching his breath and holding it.

Holding onto it with whimpers and wheezes and pathetic little groans that make him want to scream. He punches the tree, his hand numb with pain upon impact, his knuckles stiff and scraped up; bloody, even in the pitch black darkness.

Bloody. His hands are always bloody. It stains them, has seeped into his skin, like a reverse tattoo that only he can see. This, though… This is real. It’s his blood.

And so he punches again. And again, until his breath has evened out, and the pain has moved from his arm and his side over to his hand. Over to something real.

He flexes his fingers and watches them, can barely make out their shape, and focuses on the pull of his skin, the scrapes making it feel too tight — but in a real way. In a way that… he’s not going crazy. It’s real. It’s all real. And it’s burning, sizzling along with all of that anger, the grief, the confusion, the complete and utter fucking lostness. The loneliness.

Steve punches the tree one more time, then turns around to put more distance between him and familiar walls and stale air and worried glances so heavy they slowly scrape away the scar tissue growing over all those rawest of feelings.

He walks and walks without direction or destination, simply placing one foot in front of the other as his racing heart calms down and he is overcome with an absolute, all-consuming kind of exhaustion that makes him sway the very second he stops. His eyes are getting heavy, like his body is slowly coming to the realisation that his beside clock said 3:38 a.m. and that he hasn’t slept through the night for some days now, or maybe weeks, always awoken by nightmares — on days that he even dared to fall asleep.

No one should have to feel this kind of exhaustion, Steve thinks. Even after the Russians, after torture and fighting and more torture, followed by running and more running and almost dying in a car crash and then in a fire… Even after all that, he wasn’t as exhausted as he feels right now.

Probably because back then, he had Robin. Robin who would hold his hand, Robin who would share a glance with him and resuscitate everything that died inside of him with just one brave little smile.

God, she was so brave.

Steve leans against a tree, closing his eyes for just one second as he pictures Robin — alive and smiling and determined. Robin, in the passenger seat of his car at ass o’clock in the morning, grumpy and tired, leaning in to give him a hug hello and a hug goodbye. Robin, who would roll her eyes at his antics, his insecurities and his worries — Robin, who would explain hours later, her hand in his, that he had no reason to doubt or worry. That he was fine. That he was perfect. That everything else would slot into place soon and be perfect for him, too. Payback, she’d called it.

Payback, he thinks now as he heaves another breath, willing it through his constricted throat, and just barely keeping himself from screaming. Payback, because he failed. Payback, because he watched her die and nothing, nothing good will ever come out of that.

As much as he will try to save her, she will always have died. As much as he can try to keep her safe this time around, he will always have failed her.

That’s nothing he can take back. Ever. Nothing he can fix. Nothing he can make un-happen.

It’s the cruellest constant.

One that won’t leave him alone. One that won’t let him sleep at night, one that won’t leave his head even for a minute, flooding his consciousness with memories of blood and failure, weighing down his conscience until he can’t fucking breathe, and—

A sob escapes his throat even as he stumbles forward, continuing on his nonexistent path that feels a lot like running, fleeing from this new life, as though he could magically make his way back to the old one. Because they have died. They’re dead. He watched them. This new world won’t fix that. Won’t fix him. And he doesn’t deserve fixing anyway.

So he runs.

[succikko-nebulae]

Now the landlord are getting hissy about a 200 euros bill for the damn heater that was leaking since 2021????

[mirchloe]

while i'm still logged in, i think my biggest story criticism for pn2 is how it's sasha reprimanding raz for what he does to hollis...when sasha is in the same boat lmao. now, i'm not saying "bad writing" or something, but it does contrast with sasha's character seen in the first game.

sasha is the one inviting students for advanced training that isn't quite approved. using the brain tumbler to get into kid's heads is definitely not permitted by the motherlobe - it circumvents the psychic kids protection act or whatever it's called - but he's doing it anyway. with the kid's consent, this is seen as acceptable in sasha's eyes, in which he is then allowed to gather data while the student is in a seemingly safe environment - or so it seems, as with whatever happened to bobby wasn't good. (i know some interpret this as a bad trip to the gpc, but since bobby freaks out specifically over the red button, i think it had to do with sasha's training and the brain tumbler. he also was fine to trap maloof in the gpc, and if he was so afraid of the gpc itself, he would've steered clear from it and just kept locking maloof in the outhouses.)

through sasha, raz gets a pretty warped idea of what's acceptable to do in someone's mind. i think i would've liked to see some acknowledgment of sasha's own actions in that specific cutscene where he chews in to raz. maybe admit that his own ethics were a bit skewed when he took raz under his wing for advanced training while still drilling home how raz was in the wrong for what happened to hollis and the abrupt, dangerous changes in her mind (regardless of any peer pressure from the interns). it just makes me cock my head to the side knowing that it's sasha being that upset when just days ago, he was the one showing raz his slightly dubious nature when it comes to getting consent to enter a mind.

[bisaster-energy]

Merlin but Merlin loses it when Arthur dies and instinctively starts a time loop and every time Arthur dies it automatically resets...for angst purposes it could stay tragic..no matter what he does to change the past kilgharra was right. no one can change their destiny nor can they escape it. or by starting this time loop at all he's doing is preventing the rise of the once and future king so by staving off Arthur's death he's actually preventing anyone from ever really living again. a never ending story with one character aware of the narrative but powerless to change it. a puppet with a brain but no autonomy to put it to use. A tragedy of his own making instead the one prophesized