#without seeing and talking to mulder

[elstabler]

why did no one tell me i was about to watch the best yet most heartbreaking msr scene out of the blue in this episode wow what the fuck

scully - a doctor - felt sick and went to stay with him

mulder immediately tucking her in and laying over her

how big his arm is around her

his face buried in her neck

how he talks so low and soft in her ear

how it pains him so much to see her ill or missing out in life because of him, for him

how he lets her go even if it would be the thing that hurt him the most, even if he knows he doesn’t even know how to be without her around anymore

the gentle touch across her face

the small, caring kisses on her cheek and on her shoulder

how she holds his hand under her chin

i’m seriously gonna cry this expresses more love than any kiss ever could im so gagged rn

i’ll never be the same

[is-on-its-way]

mulder calls scully his soulmate…

Okay theres been some discourse about this moment from mulder in redux ii, and while i sort of get the subtext, i need to talk it out so i make sure i understand it idk I can be slow on the uptake occasionally…

So either

mulder is the one who’s “not alive” read in hiding and scully is the one half of him that is still alive in hospital but still, alive

or scully being in the hospital is the one who “isn’t” and since he’s up and walking he‘s the half of them that is alive. ( I don’t think this is it)

Or the secret third thing mulder’s so distressed because he’s so worried for scully he cant “live” without seeing shes okay first, she’s still living and his life is on pause until he sees shes okay.

And one day the cancer really will take her, he fully thinks its soon, and for the rest of his life he’ll have lost half of himself.

Whichever it is, the point is he is half of a whole and scully is his other half obviously. Which jesus christ its so sweet and beautiful and he’s literally admitting that to his boss gahhh

[actual-changeling]

being a normal fbi agent in the same building as scully and mulder must be insane. like, just consider how many times mulder was presumed dead just for him to waltz back in there without an explanation.

someone tells you that spooky mulder (who recently punched an assistant director in the hallway) died and no one knows why or where or how. he didn't deserve that, everyone's a bit sad and wondering what'll happen to scully but oh well. apparently she got fired.

then a week later kevin from accounting shows up on monday and tells everyone that uhhh actually mulder is alive! he's coming back to work and so is scully. start the betting pool again.

he goes missing, returns, is presumed dead, returns, normal day at the fbi. he's like a damn boomerang.

skip forward a few months and oh! agent scully is saying mulder is dead so it must be true for real this time. everyone is a little sad again but moving on, there's work to do.

two days later you see him walking in the hallway like nothing ever happened. kevin from accounting is already collecting bets again. you start thinking he might be immortal or just has really good health insurance.

fast forward and everyone is talking about the fact that scully and mulder went to antarctica for reasons ??? and somehow made it back alive. also their office burned down and kevin gets mildly worried about the ever growing betting pool in his locked drawer.

you hear rumours about mulder being in a psychward and also he might be dying again. you tell kevin that he'll be back by the end of the month tops, no need to dissolve the bets. you're right. someone crosses in front of agent scully on her war path and is traumatized for life.

THEN he goes missing for real. agent scully is a time bomb and you do not want to get in her way. ever. do not mention mulder in a five mile radius. there are whispers she almost killed someone with a stapler for offering condolences.

some more months pass, kevin starts a new betting pool because surprise! agent scully is pregnant! who might be the father? (a few insane people do not say mulder. those people are wrong. one brave soul bets on skinner.)

he's found dead. everyone is surprisingly sad about it. he's not coming back from this one, gary from violent crimes tells you and you agree. they buried him, that's it, game over. skinner wins the betting pool by a mile.

three months later and you go to work like normal but oh. ???? is that mulder??????? but he was dead???? he's been dead for three months??? HOW is he alive and here. gary calls him alien jesus and you agree. or he has REALLY good health insurance.

mulder coming back from the dead is the main talk for weeks.

no one can figure out what the hell happened but life goes on. you're convinced they're both immortal and god help anyone who gets in their way. skinner stays silent and no one can get anything out of him.

kevin starts the betting pool again.

[aloysiavirgata]

Sucked back into tumblr to beg you to write one of them kissing the other without thinking bc it feels so natural (ust to msr) if you get to it! Binging all your writing again you’re so talented!

It had been a good second date and she is excited for a third. Holly turns the corner onto Pennsylvania.

She curls into herself against the wind tunnel made by the buildings. It’s March, a wild time for Mid-Atlantic weather, when any given day might bring daffodils or snow flurries.

A block in and she stops as if enchanted. It’s Scully she notices first, that impossible hair and Roman coin profile. She follows Scully’s gaze upwards to Mulder’s face - of course Mulder’s - and they’re both laughing outside of some restaurant she can’t afford but that all the gossip says Fox Mulder can.

Holly tucks against an entry pillar to some boutique, peers out far enough to watch them. Agent Scully is fleshed back out now, and Agent Mulder isn’t so drawn and hollow-eyed.

Holly wonders if they know that people talk, if they know that they’re strange and beautiful and uncanny. Captivating. Unearthly.

Mulder thumbs Scully’s cheek with a gloved hand and Scully looks down, away.

Holly sees her say “Mulder!” She sees Scully pull back.

Mulder dips down to kiss her, in the almost-springtime sun, on the same street as the President lives. Catches Scully’s mouth with his, like a prize he’s just won.

And Holly sees Scully rise on her toes, in her crazy shoes, and kiss him back with her mouth open and her tongue against his and -

Holly pulls back into the shadow of the pillar, knows of two office pools she could win. But Holly also knows the warm feeling low in her belly isn’t how colleagues feel; she knows they’re something more than a naughty office romance. Knows she longs for whatever that is from her next date.

Holly feels like she’s seen one of Agent Mulder’s cryptids.

Like she’s decided to let it run.

[kendallroydefender]

You stayed (Fox Mulder x Reader)

It was an investigation that went wrong and the suspect had fired three shots, two of them missed any target but the third hit Mulder. He was rushed to the operation unit immediately and since then you had been sitting on these uncomfortable chairs next to your co-worker and friend Scully. Both of you didn’t talk much, too scared of what’s to come. She knew about the feelings you harbored for the man. She also knew about Mulders feelings toward you. But even though she encouraged you to talk to him about it or tried to get him to ask you on a date she couldn’t just tell the other. Your leg bounced in anticipation whe the door opened and a man came out.

"I’m doctor Smith. Are you here with Fox Mulder?“ you both stood and you nodded not trusting your voice. "Yes we’re his colleagues. Is- is he… how was..“ Scully tried and the doctor looked at you both "I can’t go in-depth about his condition. But he’s alive and we could successfully perform the surgery. He’s unconscious at the moment. But he should become conscious within the next days.“

You let out a relieved breath. Mulder was alive. "Can we see him?“ you asked hopeful and the doctor gave you a sympathetic look "Sorry, only family members.“ he said "She’s his fiancée.“ Scully quickly said and you gave her a quick look before you understand what she was doing "Yeah- Yes, we’re engaged and I know you said only family members but, look, Fox doesn’t have family that live close by.“ you two looked at the man who glanced at your naked finger for a second "She’s not wearing her ring because we’re not allowed to wear jewelry on the job. It’s too dangerous, you could get your finger ripped off.“ Dana told him instantly. He gave you a long look but the lie seemed to work because he gave a short nod and told you to follow him. Walking behind him to the ICU you turned around and mouthed a 'thank you‘ to Scully.

Tears came into your eyes instantly when you saw him laying there in the hospital bed. "Oh god Fox.“ you said so low it was almost a whisper. "I know it’s shocking to see a loved one like this but we’re pretty positive that he‘ll make it out without complications.“ the doctor said as you sat onto a chair next to him. "He’s a young man in good health - he will wake up.“ Dr. Smith told you. You took Mulders hand in yours. "Hey Mulder.“ you whispered "you really scared me out there.“. The Doc said goodbye to you but you asked him if he couldn’t make a exception and let Dana come too. To your surprise he told you he would see what he could do.

You turned back to Mulder, he looked peaceful like he was just sleeping after a long day at work. "I need you to wake up, there’s so, so much I have to tell you.“ you choked up for a second "I love you Fox Mulder.“ you caressed his hand while tears now streamed down your cheeks. Dana came into the room shortly after and softly touched your shoulder and gave you a sad smile. You two sat with him for a while. When it got late she announced that she was going to leave and asked if you needed a ride back with her but you told her you were probably just going to stay. "I will come back tomorrow. Take care y/n.“ you gave her a small smile "You too Dana.“

You stayed the night sleeping on a chair, waking up every few hours to find the man you grew to love still passed out.

The next day flew by, with check ups on his condition. They’d let you stay in his room for another day after his doctor told the nurses that you were his fiancée. The tv was on but you couldn’t really concentrate on what was going on. Dana came and brought you take out and you stayed another night.

The next morning Scully came back and you two talked for a bit but she soon noticed how tired you were. "Y/n I know you won’t go home but you can take a rest now if you want. I’m here.“ you looked down and nodded knowing she was probably right. "I know he’s important to you - he is for me too. Mulder is though he will wake up but if- if it isn’t in the next days you have to go home. You’re destroying yourself.“ you sniffled "I know but I feel so helpless and I couldn’t sleep at home anyway.“ Scully caressed your arm "What if I don’t get the chance to tell him?“ she squeezed your shoulder "You will be able to tell him, I’m sure of it.“ you nodded hoping she was right.

Scully had read the newspaper for the last few minutes, she looked up to find you still asleep, your head rested on your arms on Mulders bed while you sat in the chair next to it. She smiled sadly, she hoped everything would work out for you and the male agent. She heard a faint cough and her eyes shot up from your sleeping form to the man in the bed. "Thank god Mulder!“ she let out when she realized that Mulder woke up. She gave him some water to drink from a glass next to his bed. "Thanks Scully.“ he said once the coughing stopped. "How long was I gone for?“ Mulder asked "A bit more than two days.“ he nodded

Scully noticed him looking at you with a soft look. You two were hopeless.

"Mulder, she hasn’t left this hospital since you arrived here. She has been waiting for you to wake up for days.“ Scully told the man with an earnest voice. His eyes stayed on the sleeping woman next to him for a few moments before he looked at Scully again. "She stayed here?“ he asked and the woman nodded "Yeah. I mean she went to the coffe and snack machines and used the bathroom to freshen up but she stayed.“ Mulder felt a tug on his heart. He wasn’t used to people going the extra mile for him yet here you were by his side. He knew he would have stayed if the roles were reversed and you were hurt.

"I’ll notify a doctor and you can wake her up I think you two need a few moments for yourself.“ Scully said and Mulder nodded. They hugged and she told him "I’m glad you’re back!“. With a hand on his cheek. When she left the room Mulder looked at your resting form before he lifted a hand and softly pushed a strand of hair out of your face, his hand lingered for a second and you stirred a little before your eyes fluttered open. You blinked a few times before you looked at Mulder and instead of finding him unconscious he was looking and smiling at you. "Fox! Oh god!“ you let out as you sat up "Hey.“ he said and with that you could feel tears well up in your eyes. "Hey.“ you let out "I need to get a doctor.“ you said "Wait, I think Scully already did.“ you looked up "Is she still here?“ he nodded before answering "She left a few minutes ago.“ it went quiet for a moment between you while you were just looking at each other. You couldn’t remember when it happened but you noticed that you were holding his hand in yours. "I’m so glad you woke up.“ you said voiced laced with emotion and Fox gave your hand a squeeze. There was so much you wanted, you needed, to tell him but now was not the right time. The door opened and a doctor came in followed by Scully. "Mr. Mulder welcome back! How are you feeling?“.

While they talked and the man doctor checked Mulder you were listening. You were so relieved when the doctor said he would be fine and that he didn’t think there would be any damages or complications if Mulder stayed a while longer and took things easy for the next few weeks.

You sat with him for a hour more, talking a bit but mostly just basking in the fact that he was with you again. Mulder and you seemed to always find a way to show each other physical affection but now under the circumstances it didn’t have to be under pretenses, so you were happy to be able to hold his hand and him caressing the back of your hand with his thumb. It was just a small moment of intimacy while talking.

"You can go home.“ Mulder said still holding your hand. You shook your head but he spoke up again before you could "Scully told me you’ve been here for days. Go home and get some sleep, have a real meal.“ you looked at your intertwined hands "Fox what if-" he squeezed your hand

"Please Y/n. It’s late and you need to rest. Trust me I appreciate you being here more than I can express and we can see each other tomorrow and we’ll talk. I promise I’ll be here.“ he chuckled and you nodded knowing he was probably right. "Okay. You are probably right. Take care.“ he smiled at you and lifted your intertwined hands to lay a kiss on the back of your hand "You too.“ he whispered. You went to hug him, carefully to not hurt his wound. The hug lasted longer than usual but you were just glad you had him back. Before you could think about it too much you leaned back towards him and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. Before you could overthink your action you stood up to leave, halting at the door for a moment sending him a smile wich he reciprocated.

This night you could relax the first time since Mulder got hurt. You went home took a hot shower, ate something that wasn’t from a snack-machine and slept in a real bed. It felt good also because you knew he was alive and better.

You went back to see Mulder at lunch the next day. The Hospital had called you earlier in the day to tell you that they were moving him out of the ICU to the regular station. When you stepped into the room Fox was up, sitting in the bed, watching something on the tv and eating a chocolate pudding. "Hey how are you?“ you asked with a smile "Y/n! They called you?“ you nodded your head "Yeah.“ he nodded with an mischievous sparkle in his eye "What’s up with that look?“ you asked cautiously squinting your eyes at him. "Nothing, nothing, just had hoped that it was you.“ he answered to wich you gave him a confused look. "This morning after the doc told me I could leave the ICU they asked me if they should call my fiancée to inform her about it.“ realization hit you and your cheeks warmed "Oh shit right, that’s what we told the doctor so I was allowed in your room.“ you explained. "I would have gotten shot earlier if I knew I would wake up to being engaged to you afterwards.“ he joked and you chuckled while shaking your head "Do not joke about that!“ you scolded him but you weren’t really mad at him.

He scooted over to the side against you’re protest that you would be fine on the chair and patted the space next to him for you to sit down. "What kind of man would I be if I wouldn’t let my fiancée sit next to me.“ Mulder joked and you laughed shaking your head "I will never live this down huh?“

You sat down carefully not to hurt him. "I was so worried - I’m glad you’re doing better.“

You turned to look at him and found his eyes already on you. "Thank you, you know for staying you didn’t have to. But it means a lot.“ Mulder told you "Of course I stayed. I lov-" you stopped and cleared your throat "You are extremely important to me.“ you said instead. He smiled at you "I love you too.“ he told you while nudging your shoulder softly. Even though the two of you said it in a friendly kind of way you couldn’t help your heart from beating faster. Your eyes met his green ones, just looking at the other for a moment. It felt like you were communicating without talking. He glanced down at your lips for a second. There was definitely something, it felt like a pull between you two. No teasing, no jokes. His hand circled your forearm rubbing soft circles onto your skin with his thumb. Heads slowly drifting towards each other.

"Mulder I think I need to tell you something.“ you swallowed

Mulder noticed your eyes wander to his lips for a second and he thought 'now or never' before his hand reached up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Why don’t we talk later okay?“ His hand lingered before he cupped your cheek. You weren’t sure if you had leaned in first or if he did but his nose nudged yours softly before you both stopped, giving the other an out. But neither pulled back and so your lips touched. It was gentle but it held a lot of unspoken words and even more emotions. In the beginning the kiss was careful - lips moving softly against each other before the kiss grew stronger with more need. He exhaled trough his nose as your hands went up to his hair. You pulled back for air after a few more moments and couldn’t help the grin spreading on your face.

"When I get out of here would you like to go out?“ Fox mumbled against your lips "Yeah I would really like that.“ you answered before you two kissed again.

[vuelode-irbis]

[ID: digital drawings of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully (The X-Files) drawn as a red fox and a grey fox respectively. In the first one, they're walking together, Mulder looks at Scully while talking, she looks up at him listening, there's subtitles between brackets that read "Excitedly tells her about the new evidence he found". The second one has them drawn simple, with the meme "gf: they're bullying me (sad emoji)/gf: who tf?", for which Mulder is the first one and a smaller drawing of Scully the second one. The third one is a redraw of a scene in which they are lost in the woods and Scully is holding a shocked Mulder, their fox versions are recreating it besides the screenshot. The fourth one is also a redraw of a scene in which Mulder climbs up a tree and asks Scully "Hey, Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all"; she's on the ground looking up at him without saying anything, there's handwritten text besides her that reads "can climb vertical trees without problem" and an arrow pointing at her. End ID]

sketch dump!! I'm finally done with commissions, so there'll be more art soon :D I made these in the meantime, and i'm posting them because they were fun.

some notes:

so a cool thing of animalyfying characters is that they adopt qualities of their species, hence the little tree comic, grey foxes have arboreal habits and their claws are adapted to climbing trees. another fun fact is that i referenced Mulder from a photo of a red fox up in a tree.

i looove Scully's seriousness, i think 8-year-old would've loved her and absorbed her personality, but that kid could never watch txf.

they're very special to me. im on season 7 and im scared because they say i should stop there aaaa.

the girlfriend meme was a last minute addition i made after seeing one with caitlyn and vi from arcane, sí son.

the whole page is below the cut

[secret-third-thing]

what is your fandom hot take?

Everyone should write a crack fic. I'm talking truly bizarre, 100% cringe worthy nonsense. If you're worried it's gonna ruin your brand, that's boring. Be free and reject capitalism.

Examples:

Eris's Orgy Tour (this lives in my drafts and may never see the light of day)

The IC x Magic School bus

Everyone is trapped in a musical but it's a high lords meeting and you must include lyrics in the fic

Nesta accidentally yeets herself to Earth and attracts the attention of Scully and Mulder. idk make it a threesome.

Every tamlin character in every book ever has a support group meeting

Rhysand dies and a random pig farmer becomes high lord. everyone loves him (RIP brad)

Azriel puts on magic shoes and they make him tap dance without warning and for an indeterminate amount of time each session

Tarquin crashes out: the fic

Beron goes on trial. For what? being a little too hot for a bad guy

Idk these are mid examples but you get it

[cecilysass]

One Hand Tied (4/13)

Read on AO3 | Tagging @today-in-fic

Tuesday morning

When Krycek returns, he can barely stand up. He’s been beaten, and badly. One eye is purple and closed tight, and there is blood streaming from his hairline in a quantity that makes Mulder uneasy. He staggers in and the door slams behind him.

“Jesus,” Mulder mutters, as Krycek hobbles across to the cot. “What happened to you?”

“Amateur hour,” sighs Krycek, lowering himself gingerly down on his back. “An overeager employee looking for information and taking advantage of me being restrained. Doing a bad job.”

Mulder shakes his head. “You’ve definitely looked better.”

“Why, thank you,” Krycek says sweetly, wincing as his head makes it to the pillow. “But I couldn’t be happier about how this has turned out, actually. And you should be, too.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That guy”— Krycek gestures towards the door—“wasn’t acting on the old man’s orders, I can tell you that much. He knows there are some openings in the organization and he’s trying to make a name for himself. So he decided to make a little after hours project of trying to get information from me.” Krycek pauses to cough, gripping his side with his good hand. “I bet that dumbass actually thinks the old man will be impressed.”

Mulder is trying hard not to have empathy for Krycek’s suffering. “What does he think you know?”

“Not relevant,” Krycek says. “What is relevant is that I sent that guy into a trap. I gave him a name, but when he goes to check the name out, he’ll find it surprising.”

“Why?” Mulder frowns. “What will happen?”

“The plan is that the person I sent him to will turn the tables on him, and use him to find this place, which will facilitate my getting out of here.”

“So you gave him the name of one of your people,” Mulder surmises. “Someone dangerous.”

Krycek laughs, then cries out and clutches his abdomen in distress. Mulder wonders if he has broken ribs. “I don’t have people, Mulder. No one cares if I live or die.”

Mulder doesn’t follow. “Then where did you send him?”

“I gave him the name of one of your people,” Krycek says. “Someone who has historically been pretty fucking dangerous, at least when it comes to you.”

“You gave him… Scully’s name?” Mulder rasps, his fists clenching.

Krycek eyes him warily. “Now be reasonable. That guy already beat the shit out of me.”

“He beat the shit out of you,” Mulder chokes, his throat tight with fury, “and you sent him … after Scully?”

“Don’t you trust her to handle herself? She’s a federal agent.”

Mulder leaps to his feet and runs to the door, lifting his palms to begin banging on it. “Hey,” he shouts. “Hey, don’t listen to him. He’s full of shit. He doesn’t know anything.”

“I don’t think that will work,” Krycek calls.

“I can tell you whatever you want!” bellows Mulder. “Come talk to me!”

“Cheer up,” Krycek says. “She may not come after you at all. She may be so furious with you she never wants to see you again.”

“She’ll come after me,” Mulder hisses. “Or she’ll try to, if you haven’t gotten her killed.”

“I don’t know,” Krycek says. “Diana’s whole thing might have worked. It’d be inconvenient.”

“What whole thing?” Mulder walks to sit down on his cot again. “What are you talking about?”

“You know. The idea that Scully would be less likely to come get you if she knew you and Diana spent the night, then skipped town without bothering to say goodbye.”

“But … Diana didn’t spend the night at my place,” Mulder says in frustration. “I mean, she did, but only because we were going over details related to her source and it got late. She stayed on my couch.”

“You’re being awfully dense, Mulder. It doesn’t matter what actually happened. Only what it looks like happened.”

Mulder swallows his anger, forcing himself to adopt a calm exterior.

“Even if she did think Diana and I slept together, Scully isn’t going to react like she’s … Scully’s not…” Mulder stops. “She’s my friend. She’s a fucking F.B.I. agent. Her feelings are … squared away.”

“Squared away, wow,” Krycek says facetiously.

“They’re not romantic,” Mulder says with finality.

“Your feelings on the other hand?” Krycek says with amusement. “They don’t seem quite so squared away.”

“Scully might be angry,” Mulder allows, ignoring Krycek’s bait. “But she’ll come after me.”

“I hope you’re right,” Krycek says, still clutching his side. “In fact, I’m counting on it.”

There’s a break in conversation, then, as Krycek seems to be silently stewing in pain. Mulder is left to ponder what Scully would do or think, if what Krycek said were true.

Oh, she’d definitely not be happy if she thought he slept with Diana, not so soon after the night at the Gunmen’s, not so soon after Fort Marlene and El Rico. She’d take that as him failing to listen to her, as him not taking her warnings seriously.

Which you didn’t, a self-hating voice inside him taunts him, whether you slept with Diana or not. You didn’t take her warnings seriously enough anyway. You still trusted Diana with important information..

He imagines her in his apartment, searching for what happened to him. He tries to guess what expression might be on Scully’s face. There probably would be a look of betrayal, as Krycek says. Anger, of course. Mulder feels a pang considering it.

But his feelings for Scully—these ever- present, dysfunctional feelings—are way more than they should be. They constitute a hole so deep there’s no bottom.

Scully’s feelings, he knows, just aren’t like that. Scully is emotionally squared away, the captain’s daughter. And even if she were upset about him not listening to her warnings, he thinks her loyalty would prevail.

Because that’s who Scully is.

**** Tuesday morning

Scully spends the morning going through Mulder’s desk at work, trying to find any sign of a plan to go out of town. He hasn’t moved everything back into the basement yet, so some of the drawers are empty. She finds a single pad of paper with a cryptic note that says “Neurologist??? 10:30 appt” in one drawer. But that could be from any time, from this week or last year or three years ago, knowing Mulder.

She finds one of his video tapes in the bottom drawer. She immediately closes the drawer like she always does, but then hesitates. Feeling like a guilty adolescent, she opens the drawer up again, pulling out the tape to examine it. On the cover is a trio of buxom women in some kind of outdoorsy adventure wear, if that includes tee shirts that appear to be cut off right under their areolas and very short khaki shorts. One of them holds an ax. Another holds a rifle. Another seems to be nonsensically sucking on a popsicle. The title is Queens of the Hard Wood, and there’s a tagline: “How much wood can they handle?”

Scully shakes her head in disapproval of the tagline; it seems like the same pun twice.

She studies the three women a little too carefully. They are posed so that between the three of them, many alluring female body parts are showcased. Two are artificial-looking blondes and one has darker hair. All have identical bodies: large, very perky, probably augmented breasts, and curvaceous rears. They have that unconvincing, slightly-ill, lips-parted, eyes-narrowed look that the actresses on Mulder’s tapes always have, like they are approaching an orgasm that makes them feel a little nauseous.

Scully wonders if women with that confusing expression is what Mulder daydreams about. If that is what gets him going. Or if, like many people, he fantasizes about the sex he had in previous relationships.

But she doesn’t have to wonder, does she? She knows what he finds attractive. Who he finds attractive. Really she should just stop thinking about this. She should stop thinking about him in this respect at all, because there’s no point in it, and there’s no future in it.

She puts the tape back and shuts the door with too much force.

***

She tries to call Diana. She doesn’t want to, but she knows she has to do it.

She sits behind Mulder’s desk with the number in front of her, clutching the office phone. Just pick it up and dial.

Scully mentally rehearses. If she calls and she hears Diana’s voice, she will gather her nerves and ask in her most disaffected voice: “Hello, Agent Fowley. May I speak to Agent Mulder, please?” If Diana gives Mulder the phone, then Scully will flatly remind him he is missing at work. No emotion. No personal discussion. He doesn’t deserve any of that. Only F.B.I. business.

If Diana says Mulder is there but not available, then Scully will leave an efficient, cool and polite message.

And in either scenario, she will have something concrete to report to Skinner.

Of course it is not that easy. There is no answer, which obviously Scully knew was a possibility.

She gets Diana’s voicemail, but she doesn’t leave a message. God knows she has left enough of them for Mulder.

***

Tuesday afternoon

Scully doesn’t bother to mention it to Skinner or anyone else in the building, but she leaves work and goes home early. She’ll continue to work from there, but she’s finding the basement office oppressive right now. All of his belongings, still in boxes, scattered everywhere. All of his little notes and files tucked away like time bombs waiting to hurt her.

She’s unlocking her apartment door when she becomes aware that someone is watching her at the end of the hall.

A young man in a black jacket, pale with dark hair. He’s gracelessly pretending to look for his keys to open the apartment door by the stairs, but she knows he doesn’t live there. And from all too much experience, she can tell his eyes are on her.

For the first time in days, she feels calm and focused.

She enters her apartment and locks it, then slips out her SIG and takes off the safety. Pressing her ear to the door, she waits a moment, occasionally peering out the peephole.

After a few moments, the man appears in the frame of the peephole, looking furtively from side to side. From what Scully can see, he seems to have some kind of small metal tool he plans to use to try to open her lock.

She frowns, her curiosity piqued. Not an especially sophisticated technique. But she also doesn’t plan to let this go any further. Replacing locks is expensive, and she already had to pay for a new one after the Van Blunt incident.

Gripping her SIG and taking a deep breath, she takes a moment to prepare herself standing at the seam of the door.

In one smooth movement she unlatches and swings it open, drawing her weapon quickly on the man.

“Freeze,” she says flatly, not even bothering to raise her voice. “I’m an FBI agent. Keep your hands where I can see them.”

She’d thought he might bolt, but he doesn’t. He stands stock still, his eyes round, his hands slightly extended to his sides with his strange little lock pick gripped in one hand.

Now that she can see him more closely, she takes in his physical appearance. He’s on the shorter side, slight of build, and she suspects she’d have a decent chance against him in a fight. He’s got closely-cropped brown hair, some scratches on his pale face. His eyes dart anxiously back and forth like a trapped animal.

“You’re an FBI agent?” he says in disbelief.

Scully’s eyes narrow. He could be some random kid looking to attack or rob her, but her instincts tell her to ask more questions.

“Get inside,” she orders, keeping her gun on him as she takes a step back and he walks through the door, which she kicks closed behind him. “Hands above your head.”

He obeys, still looking cowed for the time being. She pats him down quickly and finds a Beretta in his waistband, which she removes and tosses across the room. Then she has him sit across from her in a chair, her gun still on him.

“Don’t arrest me,” he says urgently. “I can … give you information. Just let me go.”

“What kind of information?” Scully tips her head and looks at him sideways.

The young man’s demeanor changes. He seems to relax, stretching his arms over the back of the seat and crossing an ankle comfortably over his knee, smirking a little. “I work for important people. Dangerous people. I’ve seen shit that would blow your mind, baby.”

Scully rolls her eyes heavenward. “You seemed surprised I was an F.B.I. agent. Who did you think I was?” she demands.

“Trouble,” he said, smiling. “I thought you were gonna be trouble.”

“No.” Scully shakes her head grimly. “That’s not going to be enough. And my patience is thin, because I’m having a bad week.” She fixes him with her coldest interrogation glare. “So let’s start again. Who are you?”

“My name is Sergey,” he says. “You’re Dana Scully, right?”

“Sergey,” repeats Scully. “Who do you work for? Why are you here?”

Sergey crosses and uncrosses his leg. “He told me your name. He said you were the contact.” Confusion flickers over his face. “It doesn’t seem right. You don’t seem like the type.”

Scully narrows her eyes. “Now we’re getting somewhere,” she says. “Who told you my name?”

“A bad, bad man, baby.” Sergey gives her what he probably considers a cocky smile.

“Sergey,” Scully says, lifting the SIG, “I am mentally composing a report about an accidental death in my apartment. The corpse is an intruder with intent to kill me whom I shot in self defense.”

“All right, all right, look, I’m a guard,” Sergey says, lifting his hands defensively. “A security guard. There’s a prisoner, where I work. He had information my boss wanted, the name of a contact, and I got the information out of him.” He gives her a significant look. “I got it out of him by force. And he said your name.”

“A … prisoner,” Scully repeats slowly. “You work in a prison?”

“Sort of,” Sergey says. “It doesn’t have many prisoners. Just two right now.”

She’s feeling the dread again, coming in overpowering waves. “Who is the man who gave you my name?” she says, her voice practically a whisper. “Did you get his name?”

“I don’t know if I should say,” Sergey drawls. “How do I know that—”

Scully raises the SIG towards his face. “No one in the world would question an F.B.I. agent shooting you.”

“His name was Alex Krycek,” Sergey replies quickly. “He told me you were the one who bought his nanotechnology plans.”

Scully shakes her head. She didn’t think Mulder would give anyone her name, even under physical duress. But this is puzzling. She has no idea why Krycek would name her specifically like that. It seems strange.

“Why is Krycek being imprisoned?” Scully asks.

“Something he did against my boss’s company,” Sergey says. “He sold some secrets. Nanotechnology. My boss doesn’t play around.”

“And what’s your boss’s company?”

“Some kind of global corporation,” Sergey says loftily. “Pretty important. But there was some kind of shake-up recently, because almost everyone in management is out of the company now, except my boss.”

Scully nods grimly. She knew about the mass firing at El Rico. Firing in a very literal sense. “Your boss,” Scully says wearily. “He smokes cigarettes?”

“Yeah, all the time,” Sergey says in amazement. “How did you—”

“You said there were two prisoners,” she interrupts.

“Yeah, there is another man in the same cell as Krycek.”

“Who is that?”

“I don’t know much about him,” Sergey says with a shrug. “He hasn’t been there long, and I haven’t seen him before. I don’t know why he’s there.”

“You don’t know his name?”

“Well, I remember his first name, because it’s stupid.”

“Fox,” whispers Scully.

“That’s right,” Sergey says again in amazement. “You’re a good guesser.”

***

[notmorbid]

the vampire diaries: season 1 [2/2].

dialogue prompts from season one of the cw's the vampire diaries.

i think we need a fresh start.

if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.

who knew, you and me?

who knew you could be fun?

that's the hard part, not knowing.

i was perfectly polite.

remember that, because it's never gonna happen again.

you know me. i say stupid things without thinking.

i fought back tonight. it felt good.

what are you doing out here in the middle of the night? it's not safe.

are you sure you're ready for this?

if i see something i haven't seen before, i'll throw a dollar at it.

you were sad. you lacked purpose. you needed me.

if you're here for revenge, this is going to end badly for you.

trust breeds trust. you have to give it to get it.

you just couldn't live without me, huh?

i was wondering how long it would take you to find me.

i don't say much, which means i hear everything.

you know you're not staying the night, right?

i have a speech. it is fully scripted and well-rehearsed. are you ready for it?

you don't need to coddle me. i'll be fine.

i know how this looks. i'm sorry.

i had your address. i'm sorry for barging in.

you're like mulder, except hotter and a girl.

you don't strike me as someone who gets depressed.

you're all i have left.

it's hard for me to show kindness to people who hate me. i'm not that evolved.

what's with the glasses inside?

i'm all responsible now, haven't you heard?

take a night off. it's good for the soul.

we cannot live our lives about revenge.

i can't just sit here and do nothing.

you only like me because of what you want from me.

you're gonna want to let go of me.

mystery casserole. yum.

what you say and what you do are typically two very different things.

the truth is the only thing that's gonna help people move on.

you're nice to talk to me. i don't have anyone to talk to.

i don't want you to see me like this.

i can't just pretend like everything is okay.

i'm not going to put you in a situation where you have to choose sides.

this isn't me. i'm not this person anymore.

don't do that. don't pretend like you don't care.

our actions are what set things in motion, but we have to live with that.

everything on this planet is not your fault.

i don't have any reasons that are going to comfort you. i don't have any explanations that are going to satisfy you.

you were supposed to mourn me and move on.

i can't fix it if i don't know what's wrong.

you really have to stop being such a hater.

forever doesn't last very long when you're human.

no one else here likes me.

you caused quite a stir when you blew into town.

i do believe in killing the messenger. you know why? it sends a message.

if you need me, i'm here for you. i'm sorry i couldn't show you that.

are you that far gone?

i don't trust you. i tried to kill you.

don't look for redeeming qualities in me. i don't have any.

you hate me. good.

i know i'm not supposed to be here, but i don't have anywhere else to go.

you might qualify as my only friend.

i have enough problems with the family i actually care about.

you're gonna have to do a little bit better than 'sorry'.

i like you better like this.

good cop, bad cop. i like it.

they think i'm with them, but i'm not.

i try so hard to hate _____. i guess it's just pointless.

i hope you know that things have to change.

i'm not a hero. i don't do good. it's not in me.

somewhere along the way, you decided i was worth saving.

it's late. you should probably come inside.

[sgiandubh]

Idk about anyone else but it’s interesting to me that a con for Outlander is doing the same thing that Creation Entertainment does with the two leads of Supernatural, Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. Any other cast member that attends the con as a guest with them has more reasonable prices for photo ops and Q&As and such, but it’s half my mortgage for one (1) person to meet Jared or Jensen?? (Keyword OR, as you have to pay twice to see them both if they’re not together {called the J2 Panel} and my mortgage is ~$2300) yikes. I’ve always suspected these convention companies are just capitalizing on the respective actor’s name, no matter how niche said actor is. I love Jared and Jensen as much as I love Sam, I still keep up with them despite my torrential time in the SPN fandom, but once again I’m grateful I prefer to admire these wonderful talented men from afar because my bank account would be yelling at me otherwise 😅😅

Dear @samsheughan,

Unlike you, this is the first (and certainly last, thanks) fandom experience for me. Paying 25 francs (5 USD) circa 1996 for a laminated, fake FBI agent ID with my photo and name, on behalf of the French X-Files fan club does not count, ahem. Suffice to say this folly just made my entourage laugh like drains (I was a sophomore, back then, mind you) and call me Agent Sgian-dubh for about a year and a half, or so. Embarrassing doesn't even start to describe the reality of it. Especially when you are 18, you think you are Simone de Beauvoir - at a bare minimum-, as you smoke your cigarette and sip your allongé while desperately trying to look intelligent, outside Le Café de Flore.

How we were happy, back then, and in what uncomplicated world we used to live, though! Without any fan events and forced to go to the nearest Internet cafe for the slightest Altavista research, that naive fanzine I received every month by snail mail quickly grew old, as my patience for the 'Agent Sgian-dubh' gleeful quip. Interestingly enough, I still must have that fake ID, somewhere. Last time I saw it, in one of my old wallets, my mother looked mildly interested ('and what the fuck is this, excuse me? an X-Files fan club ID? oh...'), but that entire experience was definitely underwhelming. Even if I secretly did ship Mulder & Scully, without having any idea that was a thing. Too ashamed to admit to it, for all of the above mentioned reasons.

Alas, today is just another planet, where cheap thrills and a pat on the back do cost half a mortgage. As a Romanian saying would have it, 'the stupid one is not the one who's asking, the stupid is the one who's paying'. In S's case, I think the mommies were and will be his demise, if he doesn't quickly get the gist of it and branches out, somehow. I mean, come on, with all due respect and all that #silly interest, this is JAMMF we're talking about, not Lang Lang, tickets to whose concerts don't cost one kidney and a half!

I don't even find it funny, mind you. I find it sad, perhaps because I am thinking about the day this entire circus will be over and done with and completely forgotten. But until then, let's sing and be merry: with one more season to air, the #shitshow is still alive and kicking and the fat lady is nowhere near.

[mcondance]

tw daddy kink and fauxcest lolzers feat. fox mulder

very heavily thinking about dad fox slowly shaping you into something different than you were when he was first brushing against you in the kitchen, and watching you walk away, and sneaking into your bedroom to touch you and whisper “it’s alright, it’s just me.” of course you’re reluctant at first, you’re confused and you don’t even know what’s going on, you don’t know what he’s doing, and you’re freezing when he presses his chest to your back in the kitchen. but slowly, you fall into it. still, you don’t know what you’re doing, but your body does.

it’s a creeping progression. moving your hips on his lap when he snakes his hand between your legs on the couch, when you used to just let him do whatever and stay still. pushing back on him when you feel his chest hit your back in the kitchen, sliding your hand between your ass and his hard-on and rubbing like you have any clue what you’re doing. just a short time ago you’d pull away when he started kissing your neck because this is wrong, right?, but now, you slide your hands over his broad shoulders, and, for some reason, you like the way he looks kissing in between your tits and pushing his big hand into your little blue panties.

you’ve always liked this, a part of you has always liked when your dad touches you, but that part has broken its way to the front of your mind, and it’s becoming you. you start dreaming about his mouth on you, licking and circling that one spot he taught you about, the spot you used to panic when he touched cause it made you feel things you’ve never felt before. you look at him and see your hair wrapped around his fist, so overwhelming you can hear him grunting and groaning into your ear, transporting you back to the hot, heavy room that your memory lies in.

when you get your mouth on him, you start taking him all the way down without any beckoning and sweet talk from him. the prick of tears in your eyes becomes something you chase, you chase the feel of his tip bruising the back of your throat, and you don’t even know why. when he tucks his hands into the backs of your knees and spreads you, you grab your thighs and help him hold your legs open. you can’t explain it. you don’t know why. but it’s happening. and you like it.

[katebeckets]

AMIDST THE CHAOS: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part One: Mulder

It's the heart in you, I know it in my bones, that made me change direction when I thought better off alone.

playlist / songs ↘

FAVOR by Julien Baker / "Who put me in your way to find? What right had you not to let me die?" I think in the context of an MSR playlist, this song speaks to Mulder's self-destructive and self-sacrificial tendencies and how he comes to learn that Scully does what she does for him — "I used to think about myself like I was a talented liar / turns out that all my friends were trying to do me a favor / I always want to tell the truth but it never seems like the right time to be serious enough / ... / how long do I have until I've spent up everyone's good will?"

FOUR by Sleeping at Last / The lyrics featured in the gifset are from this song: "This blurry photograph is proof; of what, I’m not sure, but it feels like truth" is such a Mulder line. I'm not sure what enneagram I would guess Mulder is, but I think there's something to this song and his tendency to seek out the extraordinary/learning to find the beauty and mystery in the ordinary. Plus the line right before the one above: "I've fallen in love with a ghost / I lost my balance when I needed it most." And in an MSR context: "What if we already are who we've been dying to become? / In certain light, I can plainly see a reflection of magnificence hidden in you... maybe even in me."

I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY by Gracie Abrams / Anyway... pain!! This song describes how Mulder loves so well: "I like to slam doors closed / Trust me, I know it's always about me / I love you, I'm sorry." And I think it touches an important point about how trauma can impact behavior: wanting to do better is one part of healing, but sometimes we end up in patterns despite ourselves. It doesn't mean that it's not on us to do better, but there can be a feeling of helplessness that comes with trying to do better and failing, knowing you're hurting others and wishing you were learning faster.

SOON YOU'LL GET BETTER by Taylor Swift / This song is so devastating to begin with—truly one of my favorite songs ever—and it is absolutely the worst thing ever to think about the cancer arc and this song :) This whole song fits cancer arc (and abduction arc/literally any time Scully is hurt) so well, but I especially die when I think about the bridge: "And I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if there's no you? / This won't go back to normal / if it ever was / it's been years of hoping / but I keep saying it because / 'cause I have to." And if you really want to hurt, watch this incredible video. It's fine, I'm fine.

READY TO LOSE by Ingrid Michaelson / The chorus really says it all: "I'm ready to lose everything but you." This song is also where the lyrics I featured in the post come from: "It's the heart in you, I know it in my bones, that made me change direction when I thought better off alone."

ANYWHERE BUT HERE by SafetySuit / Something something abduction arc... "and when I'm not with you / yeah, I know that it's true / that I'd rather be anywhere but here without you."

RUT by the Killers / "So I'm handing you a memory I hope you understand / that steadily reminds you of who I really am." This song reminds me of I Want to Believe; I think it's some of what I imagine Mulder to feel when Scully prepares to leave.

COME AROUND by Rosi Golan / "You feel like breathing / come around, come around, come around, come around to me / can't you see you're my lifeline?" To me, this song feels like a companion to "Rut."

A THOUSAND YEARS by Christina Perri / Cliché, I know, but hear me out — "The Field Where I Died." I know their conversation is Mulder asking Scully about it, but it's so Mulder to believe that they've known each other and been friends, always. "I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more."

THE ARCHER by Taylor Swift / "And all of my heroes die all alone / help me hold on to you." There's something so, so beautiful about the way this song builds — "they see right through me, they see right through me, they see right through—can you see right through me? they see right through me, they see right through me, I see right through me, I see right through me." And the way the questions that are asked—"Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?"—are then answered: "you could stay." And guess what? Scully does.

LET YOUR HEART HOLD FAST by Fort Atlantic / This song was one of the choices I almost put for the description: "to believe I walk alone is a lie that I've been told." I've always loved the core message of this song — let your heart hold fast, for this soon shall pass — and it makes me think of Mulder surviving all these years of loss, especially with Samantha.

ORPHEUS by Sara Bareilles / I think there's a theme of "don't give up on me" in these songs, but I think this one adds softness because it goes beyond what Mulder perceives as his own personal shortcomings to speak more generally: "don't stop trying to find me here amidst the chaos / though I know it's blinding there's a way out, say out loud: we will not give up on love now." The beginning of the song makes me think of Mulder as a child: "I know you miss the world, the one you knew—the one where everything made sense because you didn't know the truth." And then one of my all-time favorite lines: "if the bottom drops out, I hope my love was someone else's solid ground." And really, Mulder is love.

PEACE by Taylor Swift / I'm so glad that we get to see Mulder grow over the course of the series and that this song begins to take on new meaning, but I think this song speaks well to the idea that chasing ghosts and monsters is part of who he is, as well as his worry that that isn't going to be good enough, that he can't be what Scully needs—"would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" I think by the end of the series, the meaning of this song can change to refer more to the questions that may never be answered, rather than Mulder's difficulty giving up the chase, which reflects his growth in his partnership and relationship with Scully. But I also think this feels like a very Mulder song because there is so much insecurity; I think at the core of his character is a sense of unworthiness, and it's part of what's so beautiful about his relationship with Scully—eventually, he's able to give her the peace that she brings him.

[azure-firecracker]

I, like most people I’m sure, spent most of Small Potatoes laughing hysterically, but the more I think about it, the sadder the climactic scene makes me.

(And yes, I do think Scully knew something was up even though she may not have been sure what. You can see that she’s not leaning back into that kiss at all).

But I just feel so much for Scully in this scene. Because yes, she gave up on having a “normal” life ages ago. We know she’s drawn to the strangeness and charm of Mulder’s quest, maybe more than she’s willing to admit, and that she’s willing to sacrifice normality and conventions for that. But I don’t think that means she doesn’t want normality.

Mulder, I think, is someone who would be content if he never did anything other than search for aliens. And I think Scully would be content that way too, but I also think there’s a small part of her that wants to go on dates and drink wine and make scrapbooks and exist away from the danger where things are easy. And she knows Mulder can’t give her that, that the odd and dangerous is an intrinsic part of him, but still she wishes for balance.

(Fanfic does a great job of giving them more normal moments. In fact, it does such a great job that I forget how few there are in the show. But Eddie was right - they usually don’t talk. They’re connected more deeply than maybe anyone else could be. But they don’t talk).

The inherent tragedy of Mulder and Scully’s relationship is that Scully wants to be seen and valued, and though Mulder does see and value her above all else, he doesn’t show it in a way she always understands. She thinks she’ll always play second fiddle to his quest, and doesn’t see the moments where he reveals he’d throw the whole thing away for her sake. He runs off without her time and time again, and she’s left to pick up the pieces and do the less glamorous parts of the job, without seeing the lengths he goes to to keep her out of danger.

Scully is such a closed-off person that she wants to just exist comfortably and without fear and feel like she’s important. And though Mulder gives her that in some ways, it’s never quite in the ways she understands. She doesn’t know how much she means to him - I think that’s pretty evident.

And now she’s dying. The job she sacrificed all hope of normalcy, of being seen and valued exactly how she wants to be, for, is slowly killing her. And here comes someone she thinks is Mulder, wine in hand. And he finally gives her what she’s been craving - a shred of normalcy. A space she can be herself, be seen, be loved without everything being tied up in desperation and danger and fear.

It’s everything she wanted from Mulder that he couldn’t give her.

But it was all a lie.

[actual-changeling]

it's a shame we never got a proper episode showing how all the other fbi agents deal with scully & mulder because there's DEFINITELY a betting pool but also an unofficial rule book.

newbie has his first case with them helping out and is about to go interrupt them when an older agent stops him.

"we don't do that."

"but—"

"you don't want to interrupt them, trust me. wait until they're done with... well, whatever it is they're doing. talk to kev if you want in on the bets."

"not even when it's important?"

"there is nothing more important to them than [waves hands] that."

scully and mulder are one inch away from each other and arguing while staring into each other's eyes. a lot of long suffering sighs from everyone else are very audible. one person is watching them very closely, having a large bet on them making out at a crime scene sometime during this week (she will be incredibly disappointed).

"bob once interrupted them and they didn't touch a single case he was involved in for three months. and they're good. weird as hell, but they have the best solve rate in bureau."

by now, the newbie is questioning his life choices. after fifteen minutes, scully and mulder are finally done arguing (for now) and back to looking at the body. a hesitant step is made, but the newbie gets stopped. again.

"see that?"

they are making intense eye contact across the corpse. the crime scene photographer is taking a picture of them for their own running bet, but they do not notice.

"don't interrupt that either. and never, ever, enter their office without knocking. better to just not go down there at all."

after another ten minutes of (not so silent) collective suffering, mulder walks off while scully is still examining the body.

"NOW you can go."

"but agent mulder—"

"doesn't matter, you tell one something and the other will know, trust me."

"so are they... married?"

"ha, who the hell knows. now go before he comes back."

[lesbianmarrow]

oh my goddddddd so i was watching xfiles episode "pusher" and there was a part where someone describes what it felt like to be mind-controlled by the bad guy and she said "it was like he was there inside my head" and i was like oh hm okay. could this perhaps be yet another reference to the codependency of mulder & scully and the way their relationship transcends typical boundaries of body and self. and then i was like well this bad guy seems pretty evil and his mind-control powers are really scary so surely not. but then. BUT THEN. mulder prepares to confront the bad guy alone and wears a wire and a camera with a live feed while scully watches from the other end SO SHE SEES WHAT HE SEES. LIKE SHE'S IN HIS HEAD. and she's able to talk to him through his earpiece, again, LIKE SHE'S IN HIS HEAD. she tells him to go here, get a closer look at this, etc, and he obeys. he obeys even though it wasn't his idea. like the mind-control victims. the crucial difference is, he follows her directions not because he has to, but because he wants to, because he trusts scully. and when scully tells him to get out of there because it's too dangerous, he ignores her. because he still has autonomy over his actions and can choose not to do what she says. mulder & scully have all of the intimacy of being in each other's heads without any of the forcefulness or domination. they don't need it. they trust each other. theirs is a partnership of equals. i'm sorry vince gilligan i wasn't really familiar with your game

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s8 episode 20 "essence" thoughts

we are BACK. tonight, it seems my friend scully is in DANGER. i hope she makes it out of this latest tricky situation!! i hope she shoots and kills that guy!! even though it would be a bummer because real billy miles was a cutie... but real billy miles is dead and his corpse is being haunted by an alien. sad!

if i were mulder, i would be watching her 24/7, and she’d probably be like bro... leave me alone??? and i’d say no. let’s have a sleepover. for the 8th night in a row. we can watch movies!!! yayyyy! and she'd be mad af. but it would be out of LOVE 💗 because stuff just KEEPS HAPPENING TO HER!

i wonder if my other friend doggett will be here… i wonder if reyes will join him. or if we will ever see harrison again!! 

and what about skinner? how has he been faring against the wrath of kersh?? only one way to find out!!

let us begin!! 

(post-episode thoughts: hmm... much to think about here. not sure how i feel, tbh. which is often my reaction to mytharc two parters.

i keep hoping the mulder and doggett dynamic will shift, and it seems to slightly, but not enough for my liking. their simmering resentment is less compelling to me than that which was between scully and doggett.

i def see the criticism of scully not being a major player in her own narrative here. she was being tossed around left and right without much of a say in the matter. and while mulder grasping with the situation was very compelling and at times made me melt, he just?? told krycek to watch her. krycek. THAT krycek. hello? it felt like the ultimate act of "mulder knows all things, even when they are impossible to know, because he is the most special boy of all time and everyone else is a fool" that drives me up a wall about this show. like. damn.

idk where krycek stands, but i will never trust that mfer.

and with the other plot stuff... the doctors doing alien baby research, and this baby being special for unclear reasons, and who is the father, and all that jazz... it's complicated. i don't really care for that element of the supernatural. i want ghosts and ghouls and maybe SOME aliens, but also i respect women and their autonomy, so the plot still stings.

at the same time though, seeing scully deal (or not deal) with her mother was very interesting. mulder's promise of protection made me turn into a puddle. and i had complex feelings about skinner!!

so, i guess i'm not sure where i stand? maybe it was just a mid episode with good parts and bad parts? and reyes is the MVP? what else can be said? sometimes these things take a few days to sink in and fully develop, and sometimes i never formulate a concrete opinion. shrugs)

oh god, as we open, mulder is talking about conception. why does it have to be him talking about that? i’d rather hear the doctor’s takes on the subject.

“essence transforming into existence” <- huh, well the episode is called essence, so i have a feeling this will play a key role

let’s get some scientific imagery and a monologue going like ye olden days!!! let’s talk about the soul and playing god!! “how did this child come to be”? does it have a soul!? 

yes, it has a soul💗don’t be mean to them! they aren’t even born yet! even if it is an alien, it isn't their fault!!!!

soooo many images on this screen that i don’t like because medical stuff makes me nauseous 

“what do i tell this child about to be born?” <- start with hi??? hello? my name is??? 

i get he’s having anxiety over it maybe being an alien and also is he gonna be the father figure, because that is a massive responsibility and i don't think they have had that discussion yet - they're really pushing it off until the last possible minute - but “hi” is always a good place to start when meeting someone. including a baby. bring a little gift. a plushie!!! idk. i have no expertise in this matter.

“what do i tell scully? what do i tell myself?” YOU SAY YOU WILL HELP HER IN ANY WAY SHE NEEDS BRO ❤️

i’m saying this like i have experience in the subject of maybe being the father of a maybe alien baby, LMAO... nah mulder; i tease you with love, but i understand it’s a lot 💔💔💔

intro time!!!

you know shit is going DOWN when we get a pondering monologue over scientific imagery!

nods apprehensively… the last episode was amazing, so i kinda worry this one will flop… but let us remain optimistic…

all of our friends are serving face. and let’s go!

the words haven’t changed in a loooong time. i always check and see if they do. but today, the truth is still out there.

OH GIRL, we open with a “previously, on the x files” recap, which means you KNOW this is gonna be a two parter… DAMN. i should have thought to start my best of s8 notes ahead of time to avoid dealing with the cliffhanger! alas.

the cliffhanger is going to SUCK when a full week of wait time is involved 😭 at minimum! i don't even know if i'll be able to watch an ep next week! i'm so busy!!! idk how y'all did it in real time

we get the recap of absalom’s warning, knowle’s neck worm, billy miles shedding his skin (yuck), duffy haskell and the alien baby claims, scully’s creepy former doctor handling the alien baby, krycek saying she can’t have that baby (and i will get a gun, rat boy), skinner telling krycek to basically fuck himself, doggett finding her, and miracles involving forehead kisses…

AHHHH! we open with a baby shower. mrs. scully is carrying in balloons and bullying scully about the baby’s gender. oh my god, i cannot believe it. she got her daughter balloons!! you KNOW she did!!

i wish we had gotten to see her reaction to the news… but i’ll take this. better than nothing.

AH FUCK, i see in the cast listing that KRYCEK IS HERE TODAY. we have to do something about this man.

LMAOOOO, scully says her mom can wait to know the baby's gender, and this has clearly been a conversation between them for a while now 😭😭 does scully even know?

she’s hanging up balloons and i’m admiring what looks like a framed drawing of a cow above scully’s sink…. good for her!! i love her weird decor!! i wonder who drew that cow (a niece or nephew?) or if it is perhaps a framed postcard of sorts!

mrs. scully says she knows it’s a boy, and scully is like “well clearly you don’t need me to tell you then” <- LMAO, i like to see them get on each other's nerves

OHHH the dig at “everything else you’re keeping secret”…. girl, be nice! your daughter is going through incomprehensible horrors! she built those emotional walls very high brick by brick!!!

someone knocks! but it isn’t time for the party yet…

LMAOOOO, it’s some random lady scully has never met before but her mom invited, BAHAHAAAA. her little “oh! hi” to this stranger's face KILLED me, LMFAOOOO... dana scully, you are the love of my LIFE💗💗🥰🥰

scully does NOT want to deal with this shit, LMAOOOOOO 

(the stranger's name is lizzy. this will become relevant later. and she's apparently a very good baby nurse, which mrs. scully points out with great implications)

scully is opening her presents!!! she must have invited the girls from med school!!! and undergrad! and good for her!! we never get to see her friends. or maybe they are friends from the bureau we don't get to see? unless these people were also brought by her mom, in which case... LMAO.

(i want to know all about these women. where did they come from? who are they to her? i need to write backstories. college roommates? the girls from a running club she's in? fellow pathologists and federal agents finding companionship in each other? how did they meet. what do they do when they hang out. tell me EVERYTHING)

THE DAMN BABY NURSE LIZZY MAKES A MEAN COMMENT WHEN A DRINK FALLS OVER… i know her ass was sent by the syndicate. and scully glares at her mom who asks her to “just think about it”

also the comment from the friend about so many secrets… girl. BE SENSITIVE!!!

i support scully’s right to beat the shit out of all of these people.

and lizzy is looking around in the bathroom…. OPENING HER CABINET….  investigating scully’s PILLS??? then she flushes them down the toilet and places her own in there….

girl………….. i'm speechless. there is evil among us. how tf did mrs. scully meet this lady?! i'm SCARED!!!!!

let's now go back at the creepy genetics place with all the dead babies in jars. the doctor from before, dr. lev, is about to go do something in the dead baby closet that no one seems concerned about him having. and in walks billy miles. he tries to tell billy he doesn’t allow visitors. billy wants to verify that it’s true: “that your work’s been fruitful”

BAH! dr. lev's holding an alien baby… billy says dr. lev’s work here is done and then KARATE CHOPS HIS HEAD OFF?? 

well. uh. not sure who i’m rooting for here.

alien billy miles burns the body. 

i mean, obviously lev was up to some evil, evil stuff... but we kinda have to assume that alien billy is up to stuff of a more evil nature so??? where does that leave us?? who are we rooting for?!

CUT TO DOGGETT CAM he is watching nascar… while cleaning his gun, i think? haha. nerd. a knock on his door. who dares to disturb his racing time?

it’s mulder!!! who he remarks is the last person he’d expect at his door on a saturday morning!

(omg, doggett spends his saturday mornings watching nascar... he's so funny to me)

“you can drop the ‘agent’, agent doggett. it’s just plain old fox mulder now” “right. you want to come in, fox?” <- OHH, hearing him say “fox” is so weird… they must not have had the "i made my parents call me mulder" talk

mulder changes the channel to the news, which is discussing an arson at the genetics place run by dr. lev. doggett recalls scully thought they were putting alien babies in people there, or something… it “wasn’t ever completely explained” <- as is the case with so many things on this television program…

OOOO they’re talking a ride together…. is it time for a life-changing field trip??

at the FBI analysis center, someone (later revealed to be named agent crane) is very angry at doggett for making him sift through the burned remains of the clinic. he had to miss his son’s ball game. doggett is like uh sorry man, damn, didn't say you had to come personally.

crane sees mulder come in…. “he put you onto this, didn’t he? what the hell are you doing, john? you don’t have to answer to him” <- oooo… i know the gossip in the office is gonna go crazy after this

i’m shocked mulder came in, i thought kersh got his access to the building completely removed! and he pretended to be doggett when he called the local PD LMAOOO, mulder 😭😭 why is he such a pain in the ass?! but they didn’t find dr. lev's body...

OOOO: “what is it exactly we’re looking for, being i’m starting to piss a lot of people off, mr. mulder?” <- MR. MULDER IS CRAZY………. i wonder if they had the “no fox” talk on the ride over, LMAOOO. love how doggett says his name: “mistah muldah” it is fascinating

“pissing people off comes with the territory, agent doggett”

ooooo… doggett wants to leave… when mulder reveals that the other co-founder of the clinic was the infamous dr. parenti!!!! the implications… 😰😰 did he hurt scully?!

mulder says doggett should go question him. gulp. idk if he’ll spill anything... or maybe worse: what he has to say will likely be bad news for our friend scully

mulder is gonna go crazy and i support it. get a machete, bro. take care of everyone who ever put a finger on scully.

LMAOOOO, i thought they were going to split up at this point, but no - they’re breaking into dr. parenti's office. TOGETHER.

“right. we get caught in here, what are you going to say then?”

“i’ll just say i’m with you, agent doggett” <- oh god… i cannot begin to define their relationship to each other. and part of me still thinks they should kiss it out. it might evaporate all the tension.

doggett shuts the door behind them, nervously. they sneak… everything is quiet…. when doggett sees something. “hey, muldah!”

OH NOOO… dr. parenti hears mulder and starts asking him wtf he is doing!!! go improv mode, go go go!!

parenti has a patient, and says he is in the middle of a very delicate medical procedure, blah blah blah…

oh, but doggett is on the case… he finds the baby closet. now relocated. parenti tries to play the “i’ve been through a lot in the last 24 hours” card and uhhh… not gonna work, buddy.

he claims they are children with non-survivable birth defects. that i guess he just keeps a shrine to. which DEFINITELY breaks laws regarding burials and corpse treatments. get his ass on that charge!!!

mulder dives into asking about alien embryos and WHAT DID HE DO TO SCULLY and dr. parenti says SHE’S FINE, IN HER OWN MEDICAL OPINION!!!!!

doggett wants out of there. parenti looks around nervously… 

NOOOO, back at her place, scully is grabbing her pills… maybe she will realize they aren’t REALLY her pills… NOOOO, she takes one!!! NOOOO!

when in comes lizzy. scully says she appreciates her help. GIRL….. she’s freaking me out bad. scully thanks her for putting the dinner in the oven and says she didn’t realize how badly she needed her help.

(god. the one time scully opens herself up to help it ends like That. she is going to be even MORE closed off in the future. DAMN YOU, LIZZY!!!!!)

someone comes to pick up lizzy… and it’s krycek, isn't it? nope. it’s some random guy. “i think she trusts me” “good. we’re almost at the end”

(i did not realize that said "random guy" she got in the car with was actually duffy haskell until near the end of the episode, LMAO)

LEAVE HER ALONE??? i will cry.

i need a moment to process all this… they’re really trying to kill her, huh? why can’t they just leave her alone!!!!!!!!

back at the FBI, mulder knows doggett found something, and he gets teased for answering to him again. they found teeth, so they're looking for dr. lev’s dental records to see if it is him. and also... they found unidentifiable biological material. 

doggett tries to tell him that there’s a lot here that’s unidentifiable; he knows what mulder is thinking, but it doesn't necessarily mean that

“let’s ask dr. parenti. if it’s okay with agent crane” ohhhh, boy in still in his hater era. he glares at crane. doggett ponders. probably wondering what his life has become at this point.

what about scully?! i’m so worried!!!

dr. parenti is hauling more alien babies in boxes - i guess he realized having a closet shrine was a bad idea, and perhaps he should move them elsewhere before he gets charged with improper possession of a corpse or something - when someone enters the building. he calls out “hello” and it’s billy miles!!! he's come to take care of things!!! 

(cue the alien music sting)

dun dun dun…. i’m stressed tf out.

mulder and doggett are on the scene, breaking in… oh no, they’re gonna be implicated for murder if they show up and dr. parenti is dead!!!

doggett takes out his gun…. it’s quiet…. he calls out again…. yeah, yeah, yeah he looks badass with a gun, whatever…. but no one is here…. the door is cracked open…. 

“what the hell is that?” mumbles doggett… and he finds…. IS THAT PARENTI’S HEAD IN A JAR??? 

gaggg…

mulder is prowling. and bam! he runs into billy miles!!! doggett calls for him to show the head in a jar, but mulder isn’t answering!!! instead, he gets tossed though a window!!!

doggett tells miles he’ll shoot… we see the alien lumps in his neck. and doggett is shooting!! he hits him twice right in the heart!! but it doesn’t do anything!!!

doggett hides behind a door…. opens it up… and miles is gone. mulder still is on the floor. 

AWWW, we now see scully bandaging him up. but scully!! has she been poisoned???

he's teasing her and SHE SMACKS HIS FACE WITH THE COTTON BALL AND HE GIGGLES, LMAOOO

and doggett is here watching this go down, LMAOOO. he’s probably thinking "wtf, why are they flirting right now… they are so weird"

god, it has to be so strange to be doggett around them. the ultimate situationship third wheel. the whole "i was her partner while you were dead and she spoke of you as an angel and now that you're back you're actually kinda just a dick" thing is wild.

doggett thinks the kid (billy miles) was “whacked out on something” but mulder, as we know, does not think he is a kid at all.

OHHHH, THEY’RE FIGHTING about if billy miles is an alien or not: “you of all people, agent doggett, who’s supposedly running the x files”

and doggett points out “you’re ignoring the fact that he bled red blood. now, every single x file i read- and i read em all, mulder- what you call ‘aliens’ bleed green, right?” <- BAHAHAAAAA, get him. he’s such a nerd.

i love when doggett comes with receipts because he read and memorized every damn file. king.

mulder mumbles that they're dealing with something entirely new and gets up and grabs something out of scully’s cabinet... which is very intimate. meanwhile, she looks on as if to say "please don’t fight in my kitchen right now"

doggett puts together that what mulder described happened to billy miles pretty much also happened to mulder... except! mulder points out that he wasn’t left alone for the whole change to progress. “if scully hadn’t treated me” <- aww… you DO owe her

she wants to know what billy miles was doing at the clinic... but also, WHAT WAS *MULDER* DOING THERE!?

OHHHHHH MY GOD… “listen, scully, i’m sorry, but i just need to know that this baby of yours is going to be alright” <- oh my god. so protective. sedate me. 

(so many feelings here post-watch... it seems as if he feels he owes her because he isn't sure if he'll be involved once the kid is born, so he has to do everything now. but he's mulder; he'd be overprotective even if he knew he would be involved. still, there is something all the more pertinent about the fact that he doesn't know if he will be, so he has to do what he can, right now, and make up for all the time that he was gone, and make sure that scully wasn't further brutalized by the alien-government alliance that stole his whole family and parts of hers... and now if they are to be a family of their own, how can they ever rest when they know They are out to get them... foaming at the mouth about it)

she says she’s had it checked over and over again with her new doctor that she trusts, and it’s fine, seeming frustrated at him overstepping and being overbearing, but… IN WALKS LIZZY!!! scully says she’s helping out at her mother’s insistence but SHE’S GONNA KILL HER.

“that’s… that’s all i’m trying to do. just make sure nothing happens to you; that this baby you’re carrying is born without any surprises”

something very hot about mulder with a busted eyebrow telling scully he wants her and her baby to be okay. whatever, though. we don't need to analyze that. she looks annoyed. and turns to doggett as if he will back her up.

mulder has always seemed like he really really really wants kids and now that she is about to have one he doesn't know what to do with himself beyond Protect. which i think is fascinating. even if it drives scully up a damn wall.

i want to see a live doggett reaction. i can picture his face kind of like this: 🫢

meanwhile, lizzy is stealing scully's phone to make a call. “hi, it’s me. we’ve got trouble” “where are you?” “i’m at her apartment. she’s with her two partners. they’re asking all the right questions” “lizzy, listen to me. she trusts you. you’ve got to play to that” OH!!!! but the guy on the phone turns and BILLY IS THERE!!!

is billy an ally??? he chops his head off!!!

well, the description of the episode said that he is coming for scully, but if he just keeps killing people that are threatening her in the meantime, i guess that’s… range?

cops (and doggett) are pulling up to find the dude with his head chopped off. SKINNER IS HERE!! “heads have been rolling, agent doggett… all in your direction” lmao. trust skinner to make a pun while sounding angry.

OH, the dead guy was duffy haskell! he was the one on the phone with lizzy when his head got chopped off! see, there are so many random white men on this show that i didn’t even put it together.

and the way his neck is severed defies logic and any conventional weapons. ooo... mystery. the alien karate chop must be studied.

oh, duffy haskell was in an illegal medical facility for human cloning when he was killed… yikes. i bet it’s more than that. AUGHHHH, skinner reports that there were prenatal records there as well, with dr. lev and dr. parenti working with duffy haskell, monitoring scully…. (squirms uncomfortably)

doggett tells him she seems fine, but skinner says he’s missing the point.

(cue dramatic mulder entrance) “and what point would that be?”

lmao. drama queen.

skinner walks over to him… 

OH MY GOD, HE TAKES HIM OUTSIDE TO TALK AND ASKS WHO THE BABY’S FATHER IS…. MY FACE JUST TURNED LIKE 5 SHADES OF RED. i do not suffer secondhand embarrassment well.

“yeah, i hear there’s a pool running down at the FBI, placing bets”

(now, did he say that because it is true, or because it is like him to diffuse any sort of uncomfortable situation with a one-liner...? if it really is true, i support scully beating up those people as well)

“i’ve had my suspicions. that is, until i found out you had questions” <- well yes, if you recall he did imply that the baby was mulder's at his funeral… which was crazy then and is still crazy now. but to tell him outright...

my face just is... oh my god. no words. what will he say?

OH, mulder’s a diplomat: “you want to know who the father is, that’s scully’s business. but if you’re asking me how a woman who was diagnosed as barren and unable to conceive is about to give birth in a few days, that’s an answer i can’t honestly give”

a good response. i am pleased with him.

but skinner says he needs answers NOW, regarding what they found in there and her due date…

(listen, it is a hard conversation that clearly needs to happen in the wake of the evidence, and they are adults who need to have it, but!!! that does not make it less awkward. god bless both mulder and AD skinner for suffering through that)

skinner starts to call her (OMFG... imagine THAT conversation. i'm wincing) but mulder takes the phone, saying “sir, just… let me”

it’s times like these that i remember he is a lover boy💗💗

but i have a feeling this will either not go well OR she won’t answer because she’s being murdered

she’s in the shower, actually, which is probably fine. she yells for lizzy to get the phone and she doesn’t. so she robes up and gets it herself. 

scully answers the phone. but she hears footsteps. mulder says they need to see her and it can’t wait. “mulder, what are you talking about?”

she hangs up the phone… finds lizzy in the bathroom… WITH THE PILLS…. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH THESE…. she starts screaming. who are you?!?!?

ohhhh my god???? 

i need a breather.

she goes to the hospital. and her doctor says she is fine. the pills were vitamins. it doesn’t make sense, but it has to be a relief. i don't think i believe it. mrs. scully and mulder are waiting in the hallway. her mom has tears in her eyes.

oh, mrs. scully…. she apologizes… hugs her, says it is all her fault. tells her daughter she would never let anyone knowingly hurt her. “i know, mom”, she says, but scully doesn’t meet her mother’s eyes. “i’m so worried about you. you keep everything so bottled up”

she still won’t look at her. turns to mulder instead. and skinner is here, too. i wonder if they had the big "who is the father" talk. i wonder how the conversation of "mulder, i'm going to the hospital; lizzy was replacing my pills with something else and i don't know what" went. i wonder if she said "i'm fine" when that happened. i wonder how fast he sped over there.

wow. that is pretty Heavy.

doggett has been asking lizzy questions!!! 

mulder and skinner and doggett are talking to lizzy, now, doing an interrogation in skinner's office… but who is with scully??? someone needs to be with her!!! someone armed!!

lizzy explains that she has been working as scientist to create human clones, long before the stories of the sheep and cows took over the newspapers. it was unsuccessful. but it garnered a lot of interest and a lot of money from government men who are all dead now. the syndicate...

they were successful with a human egg and alien DNA from the government dating from 1947. “alien babies” doggett looks around.

“birthed by human mothers desperate to conceive” mulder watches. she tells them that the babies don’t live for more than a couple days. but they were after the tissue and stem cells for other experiments.

i feel bad for the alien babies... 

mulder starts to yell: what did you do to scully. tell me what is wrong with her. lizzy says there is nothing wrong. the child is special. “one could only hope to create that in a lab. a perfect human child, but with no human frailties” <- what does THAT mean??? the baby is invincible?? that can't really be good, can it??

mulder bolts. doggett is after him - to say what, i wonder. how can doggett ease his worries or sooth him? it still says something that he wanted to.

but crane intercepts. billy miles called from dr. parenti's office and wants to give himself up. what if crane is lying…?

mulder gets in the elevator and doggett heads out with crane. he must leave him to his vengeance.

poor scully… there is a knock on her door. it’s mulder. he tells her to throw everything she can’t get elsewhere in a bag. she’s terrified. god, it breaks my heart. 

“mulder, to go where? no, j-just stop. can you tell me what’s wrong? is it something to do with my baby?”

“no, your baby is fine” well, listen... idk if it is though, because it sounds like it might be a superhuman?? “it’s you who’s in danger now, scully”

“from who? mulder, from what?” she’s desperate

“i don’t know. i’m not sure. i’m not sure about anything. i just know i got to get you out of here”

“no, mulder, look, i can’t take this! i can’t live like this- as the object of some unending x file”

he’s deadly serious: “this isn’t about the x files, scully. it is only about you. now, you are going to have this baby, and i’m going to do everything i can to protect it” (melts into a puddle and dies)

“i just can’t do that here”

they stare into each other’s eyes. she breaks off and goes to pack her things.

god. that was also heavy.

doggett and other agents are breaking into dr. parenti's office…. crane is here and i still don’t trust him… doggett is calling for billy miles…. but he isn’t there….. 

scully is packing. mulder watches. doggett calls. tells him that miles isn't there. 

the power clicks off at scully’s place. “leave the suitcase”, he tells her. and they start to run.

it’s billy!!! he’s after them!!! they slipped out the side exit. mulder gets the car door for her. but the car is jammed. and billy’s coming.

“mulder, lock your door” “i don’t think that matters much, scully” oh my god…

(her still telling him to lock the door, though... i'm gonna explode)

billy gets hit by a car!!! who tf???! krycek??? IT IS FUCKING KRYCEK???

(so often i guess big plot points have krycek behind them and most of the time i am wrong. but not in this case)

he tells them to get in???? and they do???? what…..? he speeds off…. 

my brain is going in a million different directions…. what could krycek possibly want?

krycek claims he wants them to know what scully is up against. she has her head in her hands. they’re in skinner’s office. “you realize you’re all listening to someone who tried to kill me”, says doggett, which makes me laugh because he has tried to kill everyone in this room 😭😭😭 doggett doesn't know the krycek lore!!! he's not caught up!!

mulder asks about billy miles. krycek explains that he and the others like him are alien replicants, and they want to squash any attempt for humans to live out the final days, when they come back to take the planet. 

scully’s sitting on the couch. she knows they want her baby. but why? krycek says they didn’t know. “your baby was a miracle. born of a barren mother’s barren womb” <- i don’t like the past-tense thing he has going on. she puts her head back on her forehead. as does my friend john doggett. it's giving jesus vibes and i don't care for that, either.

krycek claims they’re scared of the implications. that it could be greater than them. “more human than human” 

skinner reminds krycek that you wanted to KILL that baby not too long ago!!! and krycek claims he only wanted them not to know. but of course, skinner doesn't say "kill", he says “destroy”, because you can only push the script too far for some reason. even on the aliens are killing people show. idk. i guess they get sensitive with babies.

(it always kills me when shows use “destroy” instead of kill. idk why that word escapes the censors and sounds less harsh, but once it gets pointed out, you will hear it alllll the time)

doggett doesn’t believe it, and he doesn’t want to stand here and listen to this nonsense, but krycek reminds them they can’t take the chance that he’s wrong. typical krycek card to play.

he turns to her. says there is no hospital that is safe enough. “she may never even make it out of this building” don't talk to them like she's not right in front of you?? omfg, what a nasty thing to say...

“why don’t you just shut up” LMAOOO, DOGGETT. he's real af for that.

mulder says doggett needs to get on the phone. they need help. HE’S CALLING REYES. he’s got a "cah" for her!!!

the gang is leaving and they’re all up in arms around our girl... which i feel strangely about. where is her gun? she's got the good aim here. does being 800 months pregnant impact your balance to the point where you can't aim your FBI issued pistol? or maybe she had to give it up when she went on leave. or maybe she's in shock. which would be very fair.

krycek is being left behind in the FBI building. no!!! he might steal the government secrets!!! he smirks at them. i guess government secrets are the least of their concern at this point in time.

reyes is in the garage. LMAO, she does not have time to use the bathroom... that is my queen. BUT BILLY IS HERE!!!! doggett calls skinner and says to get back!!!!

billy takes the stairs!!!! doggett tells them he’s coming up!!!

THEY GO BACK TO KRYCEK IN THE FBI BUILDING AND MULDER SAYS HE HAS TO PROTECT SCULLY????? does he think he has some sort of billy killing juice that no one else does??? how do we know he won’t just snap her neck??? he leaves her alone with krycek, who has tried to kill everyone, and said her baby needed to die... omfg... why on earth is he trusting her... can't you just see this going entirely the wrong way?

poor scully looks completely dazed. i guess everyone else is gonna hunt billy now. 

krycek takes her into a hallway. billy is hunting skinner. krycek got scully out the door to doggett and to reyes. he tells her to drive safely. reyes is on a mission. 

okay. i guess we had nice guy krycek for about 3 minutes. still a crazy thing to gamble on.

billy is still hunting…. he sees skinner. stay away from him!!!

down on the street, reyes is on the MOVE!!!

but up here, billy miles is approaching skinner. he’s on the edge of the roof.

MULDER KNOCKS BILLY OVER!!! and is that agent crane that jumps in front of reyes and scully and tells them to stop driving?? they hold their hands up!!

billy miles falls and is crushed in a garbage truck!!! and then crane tells them to go, go!!!

they take off!! BUT CRANE HAD THE WORM IN HIS NECK, TOO!!!

"to be continued..."

why can they never catch a BREAK??

why did mulder trust krycek… are we getting his redemption arc……..? but why….? and how?

and why would crane want them to be able to get away if he also has the evil alien in him? does he know where they are going and it is a place where they can easily be hunted?????

i have... so many questions.

i have literally no idea how i feel about this episode. i’m stressed tf out. blinks. blinks again.

um.

okay. thoughts i do have: mulder being so protective was amazing... but then again. at the end??? he just told her to go with krycek???? so i’m confused??? what kinda risk was that??? does mulder see through him and his bluffing somehow???

scully didn’t have any agency in this episode, which i… did not care for. 

uh. okay. 

doggett is my boy. that is my guy. 

i have to go get a popsicle while i ponder. hold on. i’ll be right back.

okay, popsicle in hand. let’s get down to business.

whose team is krycek on?? and i don’t mean it like that, because he is obviously bisexual. that's the one slay thing about him.

he was with and then against CSM, back and forth…. american, then russian, then a rep of the syndicate, then he killed the syndicate’s last member… he looked right at scully and said she might not make it like she wasn’t in the room, and then led her down to safety and said drive safely… and remember, he had that killing machine in skinner for what reason, exactly??? 

how much of this stuff was planned by the writers as part of his arc and for how much of it were they just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what would stick?

makes you look at every single thing in a new light. but what kind of light?

and what did he mean about the baby being more human than human??

my guess is that it’s mulder’s baby and since it was conceived while he was still dying of that weird alien brain disease it has the weird alien DNA?? but that is alien and not human, so that makes krycek's statement make no sense…

and why would dr. lev and dr. parenti be monitoring her if there was no genetic involvement?? unless someone tipped them off?? MAYBE IT WAS KERSH??? that would actually explain a LOT… omfg. that has to be it.

and where will reyes take her?? and what will they do after the baby is born?? shh, i know a few things that happen next season and i won’t acknowledge them... LALALA!! i told you i’m gonna write my own ending.

reyes just got handed a lot of responsibility. where tf are they gonna go. and perhaps a better question: can reyes deliver a baby? damn. that is gonna be hard af. maybe she'll steal a how to book on the way, LMAO. or have scully talk her through it before it happens. poor reyes. you know she is a ride or die, though. she's real af for being there the MINUTE doggett called her and having no idea wtf for.

everyone give it up for reyes 👏👏

deadass i have a workout and an important zoom tomorrow and the whole time i’m going to be sitting there thinking ??? 🤔⁉️🤨 trying to gather my thoughts on what i just witnessed

skinner asking mulder who the father was... oh my god, i wanted to fall over and die… and then his response was perfect. excellent work mulder. 10/10. i know sometimes your boss has to ask you if you’re the father of your coworker’s baby because she might be having an alien and he needs to make sure, and that is in fact uncomfortable, but you handled it like a champ.

god. mulder saying he is going to protect the baby… i’m gnawing on the wall. it’s this combo of him being too scared to ask to be involved but also so sworn and dedicated that he’ll take the duty of protection upon himself even if he doesn’t know what the relationship definition will be. that is crazy. he’s crazy. she’s crazy. i wanna see her go crazy. i wanna see her shoot a guy. let her go mama bear mode. i wanna see teeth and blood. i wanted to see her shoot billy miles.

given all of the outlandish things that happen in this show, i think it wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination that an extremely pregnant scully could still defend herself. idk, her having to rely on others rubbed me the wrong way.

so do we really think this lizzy character flushed her meds and gave her vitamins…. HMM. no. there’s gotta be more to it than that. even if it is some sort of alien supplement no one can detect yet. it doesn’t make sense!!!

skinner’s a real one. as is john doggett. he just wants to watch the nascar race. which is so funny to me. he likes bikes (posters on his wall) music (big ass stereo system) and nascar. good for him! i mean, personally races bore me to death, but that is fine!

his dynamic with mulder is so strange. i keep hoping it will evolve beyond this fight for territory. i thought scully was going to tell them to knock off the fighting in her kitchen.

but she looked so tired. i think that is fair. when you’re roughly 3 days away from having a baby, i think everything probably is exhausting. all the time. and she was also pretty much in shock about each thing people were telling her. her sadness when mulder said she had to go… god. after she got everything ready at her little apartment!!!!! she didn't even have time to PACK!!!

omg, the further jesus parallels.. the way this baby is gonna be born in some random ass place instead of a nice house or hospital... chris carter, you're heavy-handed with the symbolism.

and her MOM being the one who accidentally put her in danger… scully couldn’t even look at her. was she mad? was she heartbroken? terrified? furious? all of the above? clearly her mother doesn’t know very much about this at all, as she kept saying how secretive she was… but then again, scully doesn’t know much either!!! so what is she to do??

i… sad.

at least reyes is here. no idea where they’re gonna go and how the day will be saved. but reyes is here. and lord, mulder has to be PACING wherever he is since he cannot be with scully. you know that man is going to be unable to fall asleep, so he’ll just sit next to his loaded gun and his phone and a packed suitcase by the door in case he has to go.

or maybe he’ll go back to her place and pack some things up for her. or maybe… idk. i have a lot of thoughts. i think i should sleep on them and see if they formulate into any sort of pattern or if it’ll all be a big jumble of perpetual confusion. 

okay, we're back a few days later. so, i'm still confused. but there were definitely some good things here, such as scully smacking mulder with a cotton ball. this is something i shall cherish in my heart forever. and their terribly vulnerable conversation while doggett was also sitting there continues to kill me.

i'm still displeased with her lack of agency, the overarching misogyny of alien breeding plots, and that mulder left her with KRYCEK for some reason, but... there is good to be found, as well.

now, next week i will watch the finale, and then i'll get all my s8 notes around... and then it is s9 time. which i AM scared for. because i know a few things and they all seem deeply upsetting. but, i am in too deep! i cannot quit the liveblogging mission after 8 seasons! we're so close to the finish line! and like i said, i need to know all the things that happen in canon so i can take the elements i like and discard all the rest!!!!!

this season's stress has made me just want peaceful domestic fluffy family fics which i usually do NOT get into... lmao. what have these bitches DONE to me?!