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beelsnack · 4 years ago

Note

I know this happens to plenty of people. You work in fast food or retail and your just trying to make a living. Whether your saving to get out of a crappy household ASAP, no matter the job, paying for college, or any other reason and you WILL have shitty jerk customers (At my first job and first day, I was asked if I spoke English because I couldn’t understand him with the mask and there’s a glass in front of the food. Buddy, shush. Didn’t help that I’m sensitive, ended up crying the moment I got home. These jobs are ones where you learn to really respect these workers cause of the crap they go through when you have it as a job)

In this request, the boys visit MC in the human world when they have the chance. So, my request is how would the brothers and Diavolo (the limit was 8 right?) react to coming to the human world one night to visit MC and they see them just crying and just frustrated in general due to shitty asshole customers from work?

I feel it's necessary to let you know that I actually started working on this request while on my break at my retail job.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that, friend. Pour one out for the retail workers out here busting ass during a global pandemic.

Thanks for being patient with me, friend, I know I don't really have a consistent upload schedule.

-----

Lucifer: In hindsight. he could have planned this out better.

Perhaps his own pride was to blame. He had planned to surprise the human by showing up unannounced after their shift, but he had gotten so caught up in the thought of them jumping into his arms out of sheer joy that he never considered that it might not be a good time.

"Hush now, my dear," Lucifer sat down next to where they had slumped against the wall of their living room. The carpet was slightly stained and part of him wanted to recoil, but there were more important things to worry about. "Those wretches aren't worth your tears."

He brought his arm around their shoulders, tugging them against his side and letting his cloak drape over them like a blanket. They snuggled into him almost instinctively, and he couldn't help but preen a little bit.

"I know," they hiccupped, burying their face in the crook on his neck. "It's just...sometimes it's hard not to focus on it, y'know?"

Lucifer didn't, but that didn't mean he lacked sympathy. The demon placed two gloved fingers beneath their chin and tilted their head upwards.

"Then how about you focus on me instead?"

Mammon: Turns out every Realm had its Karens. Who knew?

When Mammon had first popped into the human's place and seen them face-down on the kitchen table sobbing, his initial reaction had been violence. He wanted to find whoever made his human cry and wring the reason why out of their throat. But, after the initial bloodlust subsided, he realized that he had something way more important to worry about.

He sat down on the chair next to them, taking one of their hands and gently running his thumb over the bumps of their knuckles as they choked out what had happened. Mammon had worked his fair share of part time jobs, he was no stranger to the specific torture that was retail. So hearing that his human had to go through that made his heart break a tiny bit.

Not that he would show it, of course.

"A'ight, human, the Great Mammon is here to help." he grinned, standing up. "I know just what you need."

He strode over to their kitchen like he lived there, flung open the fridge and pulled out a bottle of alcohol.

"Mammon," the human rubbed at the dried tear tracks on their cheeks. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but...how did you know where I keep my liquor?"

"Minor details, human!"

Leviathan: His first instinct was to panic.

The human was flopped face first onto their couch when Levi showed up, and his specialty had always been jumping to conclusions. He almost took himself out on their coffee table in his haste to make sure they were breathing.

And then the human almost took him out because the logical reaction to someone suddenly bursting into your home and getting right up in your face was to a) scream and b) punch.

After the comedy of errors skit was over, the two of them were sitting upright on the couch. The human looked exhausted, both emotionally and physically, as they filled him in on their day from Hell.

(Except not because their actual days in Hell were a lot better than working retail, but that was beside the point.)

"...so not only did I have to interact with people, which is already more than enough, I got screamed at because this old lady didn't like the price of something! Yes, Helen, I personally made the prices higher just to piss you off, you've figured out my master plan!"

"Ew, no, do not want." Levi winced in sympathy. "My personal remedy is playing beat-em-ups."

"Your solution to everything is video games, Levi."

"Shh, no thoughts, only Smash Brothers."

Satan: He had so many questions.

What happened? How long had the human been sitting there stewing in their own misery? Where was he going to hide the body?

Satan was a pro at suppressing rage. So even though he wanted to go rip out the vocal chords of every soccer mom with a let-me-speak-to-the-manager haircut within a five mile radius, he reigned it in enough to settle himself down on the couch next to the distraught human and rub soothing circles on their back while they tried to tell him what happened through their sobs.

"Next time, summon me and I'll kill them for you."

"I don't think corporate would appreciate me summoning a demon in the middle of a department store."

"I don't appreciate corporate telling you that you have to stand there and be verbally abused by a wrinkly old hag who couldn't figure out what the word 'expires' meant." he huffed. The human let themselves flop heavily against his side, and when he looked down at them he noticed that the corner of their mouth had twitched up in the barest hint of a smile.

"She was, like, thirty, Satan."

"She was a wrinkly old hag in spirit."

Asmodeus: "Oh, darling, what happened?"

Usually Asmo preferred to be on his knees for a different reason, but the human was refusing to look up, so kneeling in front of them was his only option to be able to see their face. He reached up to cup their cheeks, wiping away a few tears with his thumbs. "Shh, it's alright, I'm here, darling. Tell me what happened."

They sniffled, a few fresh tears spilling over when they blinked. "I-I'm sorry, Asmo, I - "

"No need to apologize, darling." he moved some of their hair behind their ear. "Just let it all out. Bottling up all of those negative emotions will make you break out."

After a few more minutes, they finally calmed down enough to recount the torture that had been their retail shift.

"Ugh, honestly," Asmo shook his head. "Hearing those kind of stories just makes you wonder. How do people get so entitled like that?"

He stood from his kneeling position, reaching down to hold their hands. "I refuse to let any of those awful people contaminate your beauty, darling. You," he let go of one of their hands to boop them affectionately on the nose. "Need a spa night."

"A spa night?"

"Mm-hm!" Asmo hummed, already on his way to the bathroom. "You let Nurse Asmo was all of those icky feelings away."

Beelzebub: They hadn't even made it fully into the living room.

When Beel stepped through the portal into the human's apartment and saw them curled into a ball near the doorway, he was immediately on high alert and checking for danger. Only after he realized that he didn't smell blood and had made sure to inspect all of the places for danger to hide did he lower his hackles.

The human was watching him through watery eyes, and Beel realized belatedly that he hadn't even greeted them. Well, bit too late for that. He crossed the living room in a few long strides and crouched down in front of them, lifting their hair out of the way to check for injuries.

Satisfied that there was no immediate danger, he scooped them up into his arms and deposited them on the couch. "Do you want to talk about it?"

They shrugged, wiping furiously at their eyes. "Just...people at work were being jerks, is all. I'm probably just being a big baby about it."

"No you aren't," Beel sat down next to them. "You're allowed to be upset if people are being hurtful."

That only brought on a fresh wave of tears, and Beel felt a little guilty. He pulled them closer until they were practically in his lap and tucked them underneath his chin like he could physically shield them from all of the awful things in the Three Realms.

"I'll make us some dinner. Everything's worse when you're hungry."

Bephegor: They started nap time without him.

Well, that's what it looked like when Belphie first popped through the portal. But, upon closer inspection, he noticed that the lump under the blankets that was the human was definitely not sleeping. Their breathing was quick and staccato, interrupted here and there by low, hiccupping whines.

They were crying.

Well that wouldn't do. Crying yourself to sleep just gave you a headache.

"Hey," he peeled back the protective layer of blanket to look at the human. Eyes red-rimmed and puffy, with a little wet spot on the pillow where their tears had landed. They sniffled, trying to shrink back into their blanket burrito, but Belphie held first. "Let me in."

He wiggled his way into the cocoon until they two of them were snuggled together, with their head against his collarbone. "Wanna tell me what happened?"

"Humans suck."

"Didn't we solve this issue already?" Belphie snickered when they pushed weakly against his chest. "Why in particular do humans suck?"

With a shuddering sigh, they recounted the events of the day. How they had been screamed at by customers, then scolded by their boss when said customers complained, then treated like actual garbage by their coworkers when the boss took their anger out on their employees.

"...Yeah, humans suck." Belphie tugged them in a little closer, burying his face in their hair. "But you've got your favorite demonic nap buddy here, so you don't have to worry about humans, okay?"

Diavolo: He felt powerless.

It was not a feeling Diavolo experienced often as the Crown Prince of the Devildom, and the few times he did experience it, he didn't like it.

If they had been in the Devildom, he would simply order whoever had made the human upset to be tortured for a decade or two - well, actually, he would have them brutally killed, revived, and then killed again, but the human was a merciful soul and likely wouldn't let him. But this was the Human Realm, where the only influence he had was the intimidation factor of his height and size. So all he could do was hold the human as they sobbed against his chest.

"This isn't fair to you," he mumbled into their hair as they sat on the couch. "You should be in the Devildom, treated like the noble you are. You shouldn't have to deal with these ingrates who think they're better because you're on the clock at that particular moment."

They whimpered softly as Diavolo murmured sweet things to them. Even if it was merely a fantasy, it was nice to think of a world where they wouldn't have to put up with all of the bullshit of retail.

Maybe one day they would take Diavolo up on his offer.

#shall we date obey me #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo

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bookishable · 6 years ago

Text

half-blood prince book moments

“you can do magic! surely you can sort out anything!” “the trouble is, the other side can do magic too, prime minister.”

“it is a long time since my last visit, i must say, your agapanthuses are flourishing.”

‘it was clear that as far as he was concerned, any man who could look at harry and say ‘excellent’ was a man with whom he could never see eye to eye.’

‘the dursleys tried to ignore their glasses completely, a difficult feat, as they were nudging them gently on the sides of their heads. harry could not suppress a suspicion that dumbledore was rather enjoying himself.’

“and now, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”

“ah, yes, of course, i haven’t told you” the harry potter series, a summary

“you have not asked me, for instance, what is my favourite flavour of jam, to check that i am indeed professor dumbledore, and not an impostor. for future reference, it is raspberry … although of course, if i were a death eater, i would have been sure to research my own jam-preferences before impersonating myself.”

‘he seemed remarkably unabashed for a man who had just been discovered pretending to be an armchair.’

slughorn being more than a comedy character and being more prejudiced against muggle-borns than the movie showed

“i realised i can’t shut myself away or crack up. sirius wouldn’t have wanted that, would he? and anyway, life’s too short … it could be me next, couldn’t it? but if it is, i’ll make sure i take as many death eaters with me as i can, and voldemort too if i can manage it.”

“i won’t have to do occlumency lessons with snape, will i? because they were a—” “i think the word ‘fiasco’ would be a good one here”

“what is your dearest ambition?” “to find out how aeroplanes stay up.”

“mollywobbles”

“dumbledore says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right” “sounds like the sort of mental thing dumbledore would say” “he’s going to be giving me private lessons this year” said harry conversationally

‘a warmth was spreading through him that had nothing to do with the sunlight; a tight obstruction in his chest seemed to be dissolving. the mere fact that they were still there on either side of him, speaking bracing words of comfort, not shrinking from him as though he were contaminated or dangerous, was worth more than he could ever tell them.’

harry getting an outstanding in the defence against the dark arts OWL

“who blacked your eye, granger? i want to send them flowers.” i’m sorry but this is such a great insult

“dumbledore won’t always be there to protect you.” “wow … look at that … he’s not here now! so why not have a go? they might be able to find you a double cell in azkaban with your loser of a husband!”

the weasley twins’ shop window telling people to worry about ‘u-no-poo’ instead of you-know-who

the constipation sensation that’s gripping the nation

hermione saying fred and george’s products are “extraordinary magic”

“certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question—” “—and the attractiveness of the girl”

fred and george accusing ginny of going out with five boys and ginny being like “last time i looked, dean thomas was definitely one boy, not five.”

“people expect you to have cooler friends than us” “you are cool, none of them was at the ministry. they didn’t fight with me.” “that’s a very nice thing to say” i honestly love luna and harry’s friendship

slughorn inviting ginny to lunch on the train because of her “marvellous” bat bogey hex on zacharias smith

nick: harry potter knows that he can confide in me with complete confidence, i would rather die than betray his trust. ron: that’s not saying much, seeing as you’re already dead nick: once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe

“snape’ll be gone by the end of the year, that job’s jinxed. quirrell actually died doing it. personally, i’m going to keep my fingers crossed for another death …” christ harry is a savage but tbh same

‘it was a mark of the strength of their friendship that ron did not laugh.’

“it’s high time your grandmother learned to be proud of the grandson she’s got, rather than the one she thinks she ought to have” stan minerva mcgonagall

“there’s no need to call me ‘sir’, professor.”

“i thought he sounded a bit like you. when you were telling us what it’s like to face voldemort. you said it wasn’t just memorising a bunch of spells, you said it was just you and your brains and your guts—well, wasn’t that what snape was saying? that it really comes down to being brave and quick-thinking?”

the polyjuice potion being something students should be able to make after completing their NEWTS, but which hermione made at age thirteen

slughorn giving hermione points for knowing all the potions and being an intelligent muggle-born, and ‘malfoy looked rather as he had done the time hermione had punched him in the face.’

“it’s not quidditch that’s popular, it’s you! you’ve never been more interesting and, frankly, you’ve never been more fanciable.”

hermione: harry’s got scars from umbridge ron: look at where those brains attacked me hermione: he’s grown over the summer ron: i’m tall

‘he did not usually lie in bed reading his textbooks; that sort of behaviour, as ron rightly said, was indecent in anybody except hermione, who was simply weird that way.’

‘the prince had proved a much more effective teacher than snape so far.’ hm right

“it’s only muggle-borns they hate, they’d be quite happy to let you and ron join up.” “my whole family are blood traitors!” “and they’d love to have me, we’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in.”

ron and hermione’s ‘new policy of feigning deafness whenever harry mentioned his malfoy-is-a-death-eater theory’

“nice suit, sir”

“very astute, harry, but the mouth-organ was only ever a mouth-organ.”

tHe SLuG cLUb

‘it was natural that he should want to rip dean limb from limb for kissing her … no … he would have to control that particular brotherly feeling …’

“it looks like he’s eating her face, doesn’t it? but i suppose he’s got to refine his technique somehow.”

‘harry could not help admiring her spellwork at a time like this.’

‘ginny kept cropping up in his dreams in ways that made him devoutly thankful that ron could not perform legilimency.’

madam pince ‘looked as though she might have a seizure’ after seeing the half-blood prince’s book

‘arguing about whether or not filch and madam pince were secretly in love’

“he says very funny things sometimes, doesn’t he? but he can be a bit unkind. i noticed that last year.”

‘luna was demonstrating her usual knack of speaking uncomfortable truths; he had never met anyone quite like her.’

“what did you have to imitate her for?” “she laughed at my moustache!” “so did i, it was the stupidest thing i’ve ever seen.”

harry’s observation that ‘girls were very strange sometimes’

‘harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.’

the guy named worple at slughorn’s party bringing along his friend sanguini who happened to be a vampire

sanguini: *edges towards group of girls* worple: here, have a pasty

luna telling everyone that the aurors are part of the rotfang conspiracy “they’re working from within to bring down the ministry of magic using a combination of dark magic and gum disease”

ron: you can’t break an unbreakable vow harry: well it’s a good thing i have at least one brain cell

“fred reckons his left buttock has never been the same since.” “yeah, well, passing over fred’s left buttock—”

“aaah, george, look at this. they’re using knives and everything. bless them.”

*the twins discussing ron and lavender* “did she have an accident or something?” “what?” “well, how did she sustain such extensive brain damage?”

“he called it my ‘furry little problem’ in company. many people were under the impression that i owned a badly behaved rabbit.”

lavender giving ron a necklace saying ‘my sweetheart’ for christmas

kreacher sending harry a package of maggots and him being like “i’d rather have them than that necklace”

“you might have noticed he’s not minister anymore, but dumbledore’s still headmaster. i’d leave dumbledore alone, if i were you.”

‘percy had stormed from the house on christmas day with his glasses splattered with mashed parsnip (for which fred, george and ginny all claimed credit).’

“stay out of trouble” “i always do, mrs weasley, i like a quiet life, you know me.”

“he accused me of being ‘dumbledore’s man through and through’.” “how very rude of him.” “i told him i was.”

“blessed as i am with extraordinary brainpower, i understood everything you told me”

‘there was a certain amount of ill-feeling towards wilkie twycross and his three Ds, which had inspired a number of nicknames for him, the politest of which were dog-breath and dung-head.’

‘friends they might be, but if ron started calling lavender ‘lav-lav’, he would have to put his foot down.’

harry resisting the urge to let ron run around under the effect of the love potion and instead taking him to be cured by slughorn because ‘they were supposed to be friends’

‘madam pomfrey seemed to have been counting hagrid as several people due to his vastness.’

“half our family does seem to owe you their lives, well, all i can say is that it was a lucky day for the weasleys when ron decided to sit in your compartment on the hogwarts express, harry.”

ron pretending to be asleep whenever lavender came to visit him in the hospital wing

luna’s commentary at the quidditch match

“smith was being quite rude about gryffindor, i expect he regrets that now he’s playing them—oh, look, he’s lost the quaffle, ginny took it from him, i do like her, she’s very nice …”

LOSER’S LURGY

harry: i want to find mclaggen and kill him madame pomfrey: that would come under the heading of over-exertion

‘harry’s imagination zoomed into overdrive, rapidly constructing a scene in which ginny, weeping over his lifeless form, confessed her feelings of deep attraction to him while ron gave them his blessing …’

“how d‘you spell ‘belligerent’? it can’t be B-U-M”

“we were asked how we’d deal with dementors, not ‘dugbogs’, and i don’t remember you changing your name to ‘roonil wazlib’, either.”

“i love you, hermione” “don’t let lavender hear you saying that.”

“the more i hint i want to finish it, the tighter she holds on. it’s like going out with the giant squid.”

“yeah, we don’t need to hear about you being in love with malfoy”

‘harry swore. someone screamed. he looked around to see a gaggle of first-years running back round the corner, apparently under the impression that they had just encountered a particularly foul-mouthed ghost.’

“ghosts are transparent.”

“when we come face to face with one down a dark alley we’re going to be having a shufti to see if it’s solid, aren’t we, we’re not going to be asking, ‘excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?’”

harry deciding to go to aragog’s funeral because he saw the tears left on the letter hagrid had sent them

ron thinking of using felix felicis to get slughorn’s memory

“this is felix felicis, i suppose? you haven’t got another little bottle full of—” “essence of insanity?”

“in spite of all the temptation you have endured, all the suffering, you remain pure of heart, just as pure as you were at the age of eleven, when you stared into a mirror that reflected your heart’s desire, and it showed you only the way to thwart lord voldemort, and not immortality or riches.”

‘it was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. some people would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but dumbledore knew—and so do i, thought harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents—that there was all the difference in the world.’

“that’s my nickname”

‘there was ginny running towards him; she had a hard, blazing look in her face as she threw her arms around him. and without thinking, without planning it, without worrying about the fact that fifty people were watching, harry kissed her.’

“the truth is that you don’t think a girl would have been clever enough” “how can i have hung round with you for five years and not think girls are clever?”

harry admiring dumbledore swimming as they head to a cave on the most dangerous mission he’s ever been on, like ‘bloody hell this man is 300 years old look at his fantastic breaststroke’

“it is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.”

“i am not worried, harry, i am with you.”

‘harry felt, as he had felt about phoenix song before, that the music was inside him, not without: it was his own grief turned magically to song that echoed across the grounds and through the castle windows.’

“what do i care how ’e looks? i am good-looking enough for both of us, i theenk! all these scars show is zat my husband is brave!”

“young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.”

“dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world”

“i feel that if a single pupil wants to come, then the school ought to remain open for that pupil.”

“professor dumbledore always valued your views, and so do i.”

“no other headmaster or headmistress ever gave more to this school”

‘he felt no curiosity at all: he doubted that he would ever feel curious again.’

‘and he knew, without knowing how he knew it, that the phoenix had gone, had left hogwarts for good, just as dumbledore had left the school, had left the world … had left harry.’

‘all that appeared to have changed was that he now had a great liking for very rare steaks.’

“so eet ees lucky ’e is marrying me, because ze british overcook their meat, i ’ave always said this.”

“she was snape’s mother!” “i thought she wasn’t much of a looker”

‘the strange music and the knowledge that dumbledore’s body was so close seemed to take all warmth from the day.’

‘it was important, dumbledore said, to fight, and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then could evil be kept at bay, though never quite eradicated’

‘she met harry’s gaze with the same hard, blazing look, and he knew that at that moment they understood each other perfectly, and that when he told her what he was going to do now, she would accept his decision, because she would not have expected anything less of him.’

“i never really gave up on you”

scrimgeour: the ministry can add two and two harry, inwardly: but there’s no maths in the wizarding world harry, outwardly: glad to hear it

“he will only be gone from the school when none here are loyal to him”

“you said to us once before, that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. we’ve had time, haven’t we?”

“we’re with you whatever happens”

#hp book moments #half blood prince #harry potter books #harry potter quotes #hp textpost

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grimoiregirlsbook · 6 years ago

Text

01:

A Lament For Al’s Pancake World

A wind carries with it no voices, no songs, no texture whatsoever. This distilled breath finds its way through crevices unknown to even rats, and how desperately have they burrowed their way into this derelict building. Even as four individuals covered in grime-laden flesh feel the welcomed lick of cool air, any sound is refused.

Characterized by a pout and straight black hair stuck to her skull, Lorelai sits at a table where two companions occupy where her parents once had sat. Across from her would be her daughter, missing, though presumably safe. Instead, there is a man consumed by heat but who can no longer sweat.

Formerly the owner of his town’s only soda shop, the elderly Taylor Doose remains proud of his inability to succumb to death.

Occasionally the man will peer down at his wrist and remember the moment he had lost a majority of his left hand. Chewed away and wrapped up in cloth moistened with blood, he has virtually become useless to his party. To his left, Lorelei’s right, is a thin lad encumbered with exhaustion and a fidgeting leg.

“Oh, Kirk. Would you please stop that incessant…” Taylor exhales and is unable to finish his sentence. His head bobs forward when a chill runs through his body. “That incessant…”

“It’s restless leg syndrome, Taylor, and it’s a common ailment of men between the ages of fourteen and seventy-two.” His tort does not inspire a response. “If we’re really going there, I’d ask you to stop breathing so heavily. The rhythm of my lungs naturally attunes to those who are nearest to me, and if you’re exhaling at a rate above a-hundred-four beats per minute, my anxiety tends to…”

Lorelai raises her hand. Her eyes are shut so tight she can remember what fireworks look like. All three look to her with expectation, perhaps some wisdom or comforting words. “Everybody needs to shut up. Like, right now.”

The fourth occupant of the dinner table pipes up. “I agree. Everyone is bickering like little annoying dogs. Chihuahuas.”

“For once, I think I agree with Mrs. Kim. You are all acting like chihuahuas, the mutant rejects of the animal kingdom.”

Kirk shrugs. “I think they’re sweet.”

“I had a chihuahua growing up,” Taylor’s voice breaks. The three are silent. This is the first time Lorelai paid attention to his tongue: dry, scaly. Something resembling empathy rises in her and she flutters her eyelashes after feeling a lump grow in her throat. “A sweet dog, yes,” he continued. “But infamously difficult to train.

“I remember I must have been ten, maybe twelve. No, eleven. Eleven…” His mind trails away and the story ceases like a water hose gradually losing pressure.

The four return their attention to themselves and the ever-growing hunger in the pit of their stomachs. Lorelai knows she must have lost weight. The way they look at her anymore spikes her self-image issues. She notices how she inadvertently covers her arms and avoids eye contact, more-so now than she ever had in high school.

Another gentle gust rolls in. Her mouth parts to breathe in this cool air that cuts through their sweltering sanctuary. “I think it’s going to rain.”

“Rain always excites me,” Kirk claims with a croak. “Something about the electricity in the air. My body is sensitive enough to feel the change of electromagnetic pressure in the atmosphere. My mother always used to call me her little thunder rod.”

Mrs. Kim frowns, and Lorelai verbalizes what she is unable to muster the strength to say. “Don’t you mean ‘lightning rod’?”

He looks down at the table and creases his browline. “I don’t know.” This distant memory, no longer relevant or clear. “Maybe.”

There is a sound from the other room that stirs them from an incoming depression. Each look to the hallway that connects to the kitchen, sans Taylor who is, instead, viewing a movie under his eyelids. A man, unshaved and tired, emerges with a tray of cold sandwiches. “I scraped the mold off of the bread the best I could. What, you’re going to be picky now?”

Lorelai crosses her arms and watches as the serving tray is placed in the center of the table. This stirs Taylor from his rest. Kirk cocks his head. “Is that safe to eat?”

“Safe?” Luke scoffs. “Nothing’s going to be safe for a while, Kirk. Might as well fast if you’re worried about contamination, especially here. What, have your parents ever heard of canned goods?”

Spawn of Gilmore rolls her eyes. “Well, there. That’s the thing. My parents believe that, by default, nothing from a can is good.”

“Try telling Budweiser that. Here,” he bites down into the corner of a sandwich that was cut in half. Through a full mouth, he insists, “Perfectly safe. Delicious. Eat it.”

Kirk removes himself from the table without a word. Luke frowns. “What, too good for a little bit of mold?”

“Oh, no, never. I am going to wash up, though.”

“You’re going to wash up before eating mold?”

“Even while society falls, we must maintain our dignity by living as we would. Civilized, sanitized. Also,” his shoulders straighten. “I have to pee.”

Mrs. Kim shakes her head and Lorelai turns to her with a dim smile. Mentally, she considers how difficult it has been to comfort the woman who is separated from her daughter as well. Though the bond is different and at times estranged, there is no terror as specific as being uncertain about a loved one’s fate.

She can ascertain, however, that Lane is perfectly fine and more-than-likely holed up in the same stead as Rory. Perhaps they are regaling each other with stories of the olden days. It is possible that they are laughing at a strangely specific observation. It is possible that they are able to survive in the same way her mother is, the same way this room full of people are.

Luke’s voice breaks her from this trance. “Is he okay?” She looks to Taylor, who is now shivering in violent throngs.

“Looks like a totally normal reaction to a zombie bite.”

“Oh, zombie this, zombie that. Spare me. Those are just - just sick people who have gone crazy or something.”

Lorelai’s eyes reduce to a sliver. “You can tell that to my mom. No, feel free! She’s upstairs, waiting for you to tell her that the flesh-craving is just a minor symptom of the common cold.”

He is silent for a moment. Taylor’s groans of pain fill the empty space. “I’m not saying it’s the cold, but…”

“Luke.” She shakes her head, telepathically forcing a suggestion to drop the conversation. He agrees with a snarl and a silent mock. Lorelai ignores her sandwich and focuses her attention to the man opposite her. “Taylor, sweetie, can you hear me?”

The old man blinks, disoriented. His eyes are not trained to any specific point. “Hm. Huh?”

“Do you feel good enough to eat something? It’s no pancake from Al’s Pancake World, but it’s something. Are you thirsty? The taps in the bathrooms still work.” Though there is no verbal response, the state of the man is enough to elicit action. Luke shakes his head when the woman begins to shift in her seat.

“I’ll get it. No, sit. Eat the moldwich.” With confidence -- because at least one of them must have some amount of it -- he quickly walks to the bathroom after grabbing a scotch glass from the late Richard Gilmore’s liquor cart. Remembering the escapade of his companion, he knocks on the door. “Kirk, you gotta let me in.”

There is no response. Luke frowns and tries at the handle, and to his surprise, it opens with ease. He peeks in. “Kirk?” Even though the man is gone, there is evidence of his brief visitation.

Luke cranes his neck and looks into the toilet. He suppresses a gag, rolls his eyes, and turns on the faucet. Nothing comes out.

Back in the dining room, Lorelai is pacing. She attempts to calm herself down by refusing the interior dialogue that struggles to become exterior. She tries to remember how to breathe let alone exhale slow, deep breaths. The panting of Taylor increases over time, and so does her anxiety.

Ms. Kim slams the table with either palm and knocks Lorelai from her trance. The exhausted woman points to the injured man. “Would you stop that? Always breathing -- heh, heh, heh. Just die already!”

“Mrs. Kim!” Lorelai finally allows her lungs to clear from stagnant breath. “That is - that is so mean.”

“I don’t understand why we must keep him around. Look at him! Pale and sick and dying. Where is the gun?”

“No. We’re not… Taylor, hush, sweetie. Nothing’s going to happen.”

Luke passes through the threshold with a still-empty cup. “Uh, everything okay, guys?”

“No!” Mrs. Kim stands up from her seat. “We must kill Mr. Doose before he becomes a monster like the others, like your mother.” She directs a hard glare to Lorelai, who quickly looks away after feeling a paralyzing shock run through her body.

“Oh, nope. No, you don’t.” Luke approaches the hysteric woman and places the empty glass on the table. “You’re not allowed to emotionally torment us when we already have very real, physical torment just outside of these doors.”

Lorelai runs her hands through her thick, graying hair and cups her ears. The voices come muffled now. He continues: “There are solutions other than violence. Plus, between you and me, I’d rather not waste one of our precious bullets on a man that looks like a strong breeze could evaporate him.”

Mrs. Kim raises her chin. “Go on.”

“Okay, good,” he says, relieved. “We can start delegating in a totally cool-headed way. I’m glad to see that we can communicate with each other about this instead of resorting to, you know, murder. There’s always a simple solution.”

“You have no idea what to do, Luke Danes.” The sound of Mrs. Kim’s voice has always cut through him as she was one of the few women to completely intimidate him. Lorelai creases her brow and unlatches her hands from her ears. She crosses them and cocks her hips.

“Oh, come on, Mrs. Kim. Luke of all people not having a plan?” The woman laughs and looks to an unconvinced Mrs. Kim and a nearly comatose Taylor Doose. “That’s - that’s why they call him the man with the plan. Right?”

Not receiving an answer, she verbally prods him once more. “Right, Luke?” He begins to cock his shoulders in a slow shrug. “What? No, no, no.” She rounds the sharp corner of the dinner table, cuts in front of Mrs. Kim, and closes in on the uncertain man.

“Listen, Lorelai,” he begins while rubbing the back of his neck. His voice reduces. “Maybe we should do something about Taylor. I mean, look at the state of him.” She humors him by examining the man; bereft of color, gasping for one of the few instances a breeze could be felt.

She does not respond immediately. Her gaze floats like a transient yellow rubber duck upon a freshly drawn bath. “We have two more bathrooms.”

Luke blinks. “One more time?”

“Two more bathrooms. Mom’s in the upstairs master. The guest bathroom in the hallway is free. I don’t want to put him down here, because, you know, just in case, I guess.”

He looks at her creased face and empathizes with what little energy she has left. This compromise saps her remaining reserves of hope.

Luke chews on the inside of his lower lip and straightens his posture. “I’ll need help getting him upstairs. No, you can stay here. I’ll find Kirk.” An uninvolved Mrs. Kim re-seats herself, but not before grabbing the empty scotch glass. She stares into the bottom and imagines the taste of every liquor it has once held.

“Find Kirk?” Lorelai tilts her head. Her voice still holds passivity. “I thought he was just using the bathroom.”

He shrugs and pulls away from the conversation without another word, leaving Lorelai to stand alone, idly bobbing like the useless rubber duck she hated imagining herself as.

Once again, Luke disappears from the room but his voice can still be heard calling for the missing companion.

He travels up the flight of stairs and knocks on the wall as he does. “Kirk?” His voice projects and cuts through the cement maze that is the Gilmore mansion. “You gotta help me out here.”

Intuitively, he approaches the guest bathroom. Even as his body contours around a wall he is able to see the door cracked and the lights off. He hums inquisitively and feels worry crease his forehead. “Kirk, buddy, you better not be doing anything stupid.”

He waits for a response but instinctively knows that somewhere within this building, Kirk was indeed doing something stupid and perhaps even dangerous. The man considers a mental archive of each possibility and flares his nostrils when one resonates particularly so.

Luke sets off to the master bedroom where a disoriented Emily Gilmore resides. Excommunicated, alone, infected.

He keeps his footsteps quiet as to not alert his companions downstairs. Heel to toe, he deftly navigates the tight labyrinth and eventually happens upon the master bedroom where a soft voice speaks with child-like innocence.

Kirk speaks to the bathroom door. “It’s okay, Mrs. Gilmore. I’m just going to use your sink for a few seconds. Maybe use a hand towel if you have a clean one you’re not using.” He feels a new presence and turns to an angry Luke.

“Jesus, Kirk! Are you insane?”

“I just need to get in there for just a moment, you know? Just a quick moment.” He reaches for the door handle and Luke lurches to swat his hand away. The frail man observes the back of his left hand. “Ow. That’ll probably bruise.”

Luke’s nostrils flare and his mouth parts open to further admonish him, but a thump against the bathroom door causes either man to jump. “Okay. We have to get out of here.”

“That’s probably a fair assessment, but, Luke, the downstairs faucet isn’t working.”

“Don’t wash your hands, then.” Another thump, this time with more force. “I don’t think that door is going to hold. We need to lock her in here.”

Kirk nods and claps his hands together with excitement. “Great! I’ll open this right up and you can distract her while I run in and wash up.”

Incredulous, Luke is unable to prevent Kirk from following through with his own asinine plan. His eyes widen and feels time slow around him as he watches the door swing open to reveal Emily Gilmore.

Sunken cheeks and dim eyes are fixtures on a canvas of skin that has since lost any familiar color. Makeup is smeared from her lips up to just below her right temple. A concave eye is made beauteous by uneven liner and a nude eyeshadow.

As Kirk brings the door to a full pivot, Luke is able to see the damage on the inside of the door: expensive makeup residue patterned within the splintered wood. Dark, unhealthy blood had been exhaled on the walls inside of the bathroom. The shower curtain is mostly dislocated, with few rings remaining intact.

Emily Gilmore locks her remaining eye on the man in front of her. Somewhere deep within her skull spins the few gears that belong to lucidity.

Backward hat, the corpse churns this recursive thought through sickness induced mania. Backward hat, backward hat.

She lunges forward and pauses to regain control of her failing nervous system. Luke backs up in short strides with his hands positioned just inches ahead of his chest. “Emily, Mrs. Gilmore,” he attempts to reason with the woman in a quiet, synthetically calm voice. “Kirk just has to use the bathroom. You can have it back after he’s done…” He cranes his neck around her to watch him hovering over the sink. “After he’s done washing his hands.”

Her lips curl and reveal shattered teeth. The force of her clenched jaw coupled with a bereft of pain receiving faculties has resulted in a loss of all of her front teeth. Her hair, however, is still in pristine form.

Another step forward and she trips over her own feet. This opening is enough for Luke to make an executive decision.

The toe of his boot, having known soil both dry and moist as well as the grease-slicked tiles of his restaurant for decades, is now introduced to the underside of Emily Gilmore’s throat.

The force of his response tears a hole in the woman’s neck. Her weak flesh rips away and Luke’s foot is shallowly burrowed. The woman squelches in pain, the sound muffled and reduced, garbled from the blood that she chokes on through this.

Kirk pokes his head out of the door as Luke heaves the woman off of his shoe. He looks up and furrows his brow with such intensity the man thought it would be better for him to find new residence in the decimated bathroom.

“You son of a bitch,” he barks through gritted teeth. For just a second, he watches the infected woman struggle against the ground. She claws at his ankles, but he steps over her to avoid the simple attacks. As Luke approaches, Kirk reaches to shut the door. “Don’t you dare, Kirk. Don’t you --”

“Get away, you lunatic!”

“Me? I’m the lunatic?”

Just as the metal lock connects with its home and the wooden door meets its frame, the same bloody boot connects with the mullion and collapses the door inwards. Kirk strafes away to avoid the intruder he once considered an ally.

While Luke’s boots are familiar with the concept of hard work and have been purchased with the idea of friction in mind, Kirk’s shoes have only known the feeling of escapism. Loosely connected activities, incomplete schemes. Never once grounded in a shared reality.

They do know now, however, the taste of old blood.

As the heel licks the metallic paste left over from somewhere in Emily’s lungs, the man is able to feel himself fall backward. The nape of his neck wraps over the side of the exposed bathtub where within many jets were installed to provide a comfortable yet exciting bathing experience.

Luke is frozen. He feels the cold drip of terror work its way through his lungs, and then into his esophagus. Dehydrated as he already was, there was even less moisture left on his tongue and none in the back of his throat. He speaks, but his words are made of dust: “Kirk? Are you okay, buddy?”

The man’s body is limp and impossibly contorted. “Kirk?” He hesitates before stepping forward. Luke’s head bobs forward like an unsure cat in an empty alleyway. His heart thrums in triplets -- each third beat further closing his throat.

Kirk’s hands and feet simultaneously twitch. Luke can feel all collected air escape from his lungs in the manner of one second. He is lightheaded and clutches his chest to calm his flailing heart. “Oh, my God. I was really worried there. Here, let me - let me help you up.”

He extends his left hand and uses his right for support against the cool wall. Another full-body twitch from Kirk, but no verbal response. Luke’s fingers wilt and he slowly pulls away. Two more twitches, then a seizure. His nostrils flare and, as if by divine timing, he turns away from Kirk to witness another stressor.

The body of Emily Gilmore had dragged its way out of the bedroom and left with it a trail of mucus and blood. He resolves to deal with her as his top priority but first tries to seal the door to the best of his ability. The hinges were destroyed in his breach and he is still able to clearly see Kirk’s spazzing body.

Luke does not have to travel far to meet up with the tenacious corpse. She hears his footfall and turns to face him. He is not able to look at her for more than a second before feeling nausea overwhelm him.

With a deep breath, he moves to grab her ankles and drag her back into her bedroom. Flecks of loose skin and crumbled teeth are left in her wake.

As he re-enters the room, he notices Kirk has dislodged himself from his previous position. While gripping Emily’s ankles, he keeps a close eye on the ostensibly dead man. “Kirk?” He calls once more. There is a belch as a reply. Luke drops Emily’s feet and quickly shuts the bedroom door before returning to Kirk with anxiety in his chest.

The man is not dead, nor is he alive. The same look as the late Emily Gilmore is etched on his face, sculpted deep within his eyes where there is no intelligent luster, but a drained well of lost sentience. “You too, huh?” Luke breathes this out and feels wasps of guilt swarm his thoughts.

Behind him is a snarling Emily Gilmore, the first of their party to be lost to the terrible and unknown disease. Several feet from Luke is the second, a man whose death could be somewhat beneficial for their longevity. He frowns and idles for a long moment. There is a sharp voice that calls his name.

Lorelai is at the bottom step, too weak to continue more than this. “Luke, are you okay?” There is minor panic in her voice after having heard a strange commotion. In the next room, Taylor’s pained heaving has reduced to calm, short breaths. She thinks about the sick man and wonders if she should feel relieved or even more worried.

Soft steps alert her, but she recovers with a genuine smile as she sets her eyes upon the grizzled but handsome Luke Danes. He tries to smile but his words do not carry with them the confidence they should have. “Hey. You okay?” They travel back to the kitchen with a quickened pace.

“Yes, but you aren’t. Obviously.” Lorelai looks behind her shoulder to examine the staircase. “What’s going on? Where’s Kirk?”

“Alright.” Luke clears his throat. He examines Mrs. Kim from the end of the room staring them down, and then Taylor with raised eyebrows. “He’s looking better.”

Lorelai’s smile acts more as a grimace. She is waiting for him to communicate with her and he picks up on this. “Kirk, erm, he… Yeah, do I really have to say it?”

“What? Yes, you do,” Lorelai’s voice raises and the neurotic woman stands up from her seat once again. He huffs and crosses his arms as Mrs. Kim joins the conversation with wide, speculative eyes. “What happened to him?”

Mrs. Kim scoffs. “Kirk?” He nods with a short sigh.

“Best to just tell you, I suppose. Alright! He freed Emily and -- no, Lorelai, listen. He wanted to wash his hands, and…”

The daughter of the household’s pet corpse looks up. A chandelier catches the corner of her eye. Cobwebs connect to multiple bulbs, once acting as a bridge for eight-legged critters. “She bit him.”

Luke freezes. He examines the woman he had known for as long as he could remember.

Even as many old memories have begun to fade -- holidays, festivals, birthdays, Lorelai remains a fixture in his mind. Every moment he closes his eyes, no matter how tired or distracted, the woman eventually finds her way into his mental cinema.

He sucks his lips for a long time before replying with a slow nod. Luke is unable to bring himself to lie, not out loud, not in his own voice.

#gilmore girls #grimoire girls #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fiction #al's pancake world #chapter one #chapter 1

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scarpool-gmk · 4 years ago

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6 Part 1

Title: Godly Marine: Killed Author: Scarpool Fandom(s): NCIS, Percy Jackson & the Olympians Pairing(s): Gen Rating: PG/K+ Summary: Chapter 6 Part 1 (7/13) — Staff Sergeant Michael Kahale, Marine Corps Mechanic and Son of Athena, was murdered. Annabeth Chase is determined to find out who did it and why. She, along with Percy Jackson, Grover Underwood, and Clarisse La Rue, infiltrate NCIS where they team up with NCIS Agents Leroy Gibbs, Anthony DiNozzo, Timothy McGee, and Ziva David. Complete Genre: Fanfiction, Mystery, Drama, Humour, General, Action Warnings: N/A

Tony couldn't keep the yawn from stretching his mouth open.

He heard Ziva chuckle before he even saw her. "Late night, Tony?"

Tony swatted some police tape out his way. "Good morning, Miss David. And yes, I was busy going through some more episodes of my show."

"What do you call it in English? Binging?"

"Binge-watching. And no, if I were to binge-watch it, I would be done with the entire show by now." Tony looked around the building where they were all called in. Ugh. "I'm so done with this place," Tony complained. "What I'd do to be watching Monica strip down to those cute, pink bikini bottoms."

"Monica?" Ziva laughed.

"Yeah, she's a tiger," Tony explained. "Just had a fight with Kiara last episode. Punched her lights out."

"How wonderful," Ziva mused.

"Hot," Tony agreed. "Hey, where is everybody?"

"Gibbs and Abby are in Tarsibo's office, and McGee is coming in right now."

Tony turned to see McGee shuffling through the doors.

"McGee!" Tony greeted. "Look at you! Last one to arrive."

McGee gave him a cheeky grin. "Unlike you, I've never been here. Didn't exactly know my way."

Tony glared at him. Way to rub it in.

"I thought with your degree in technology," Tony said, "You would have been able to use a GPS just fine."

"I don't know," McGee said, "I kind of liked my drive."

"I rolled down my windows," Ziva shared, "The breeze felt quite nice."

Tony gave her a look that he hoped conveyed his disapproval. What a liar.

"And it appears that we are all here," Ziva said.

"This looks familiar," McGee commented.

Tony turned once more to the entrance.

"NCIS," said a blonde girl, showing her badge and I.D. to a cop.

"NCIS, huh?" Tony said, looking over the group of four.

"Looks like they had a rough night," Ziva murmured.

"Grover looks pretty down…" McGee frowned.

Tony couldn't help but agree. The nervous, nerdy, usually chatty agent seemed very despondent. A contrast to Agent La Rue, who was in a different, perhaps worse, state and spirit.

"Hey, La Rue," Tony said, "Don't go contaminating the crime scene! What did you sleep in, a sandbox?"

"Listen, punk," La Rue growled, shaking some more sand off her, "The crime scene is the office. Besides, why don't you clean yourself up? Jeez, look at you. Eye boogers and, gross, a drool line."

What?! Ziva and McGee snickered as he quickly checked his reflection. Holy-!

"Drooling in your sleep is a very natural and, in fact, a healthy occurrence," Tony defended while scrubbing at his face.

Percy enthusiastically agreed. Tony didn't know how to feel about that.

Lima gave a sigh. "It's really not. Where's Gibbs?"

Ziva answered her before Tony could argue her first statement.

"This way."

Ziva opened the door of the office to reveal… a mess. "Woah," Tony breathed.

"Good morning, everyone!" Abby greeted from her place connecting extension cords.

"Abby, I think you got a little carried away," Tony said.

"Not at all, Tony," Abby said, "I wanted to test all my new blacklights, and this is a perfect time as I can just test this whole office in one go."

"Your blacklights?" Tony asked. He spotted Gibbs standing a little ways off, watching Abby work. "Morning, Boss," Tony said.

Gibbs gave a noncommittal grunt and sipped at his steaming cup of coffee. Coffee… Not for the first time, Tony played with the idea of asking his boss to share his drink.

"Hey," McGee said, nudging one of the lights, "I recognize this one. You got it a couple years ago."

"How can you tell?" Tony asked him.

"The sharpie skulls," McGee answered.

"Are all of these blacklights yours, Abby?" Ziva asked.

"No," Abby said a bit more defensive than normal, "Three are from the lab."

"I count eleven," Lima said.

"What do you need with nine blacklights?" Tony asked.

"That would be eight, Tony," McGee corrected.

Ugh, it was too early to be doing math.

"I think the collection is wonderful, Abby," Ziva said.

"Thanks. Good thing there aren't any windows; makes the job easier. Lights!" Abby called, dramatically.

McGee shut the lights off.

And there wasn't much to look at. Almost every inch of the room, the walls, floors, and ceiling were dark. It wouldn't have made Tony nervous if it wasn't for the few patches of the wall that did glimmer.

"I'm not seeing much glow around the place," Underwood said.

"Maybe he cleaned with some bleach," Abby suggested, shaking a bottle. She went up to the walls and started to mass spray. The walls sparked very briefly with each spray. Tony didn't know what that meant, but he certainly didn't like the way Abby started to spray more frantically, running to different areas in an obvious attempt to get different results.

"Abby?" Tony asked softly. "What is it?"

Tony didn't like the way she looked at him. Now, he really wanted to sucker punch Tarsibo.

"It's…" Abby said, hollowly. "It's all blood."

There was a moment of silence as everyone in the room digested the words the scientist said.

"That's a lot of blood," La Rue commented. Tony wanted to snap at her lack of tact.

"Abby," Gibbs called.

"I'm fine, Gibbs," Abby said, answering his unspoken question, "Just surprised and…" Abby heaved a sigh, "I'm going to have a lot of work going through all of this."

"I'll call in, Ducky," Gibbs told her, "See if he can help you."

"Thanks."

Tony turned the light back on and started to look around the office.

"Did you find anything, Boss?" Tony asked, opening some empty drawers.

"Nope," Gibbs said.

Tch, which meant that everything they had was already back at the garage. There was no trace of the swords or shiny coins. Marko probably took them all with him.

"How about the dumpster?" Tony felt a bit lightheaded at how innocently Lima suggested that. "There might be some evidence that Tarsibo wanted to discard and hoped that the garbage would haul it away."

"Hm," Gibbs hummed, his lips already curled in a devious smirk, "That is true." He rapped on a door next to him that Tony had barely noticed. "I think this would lead us outside," Gibbs said, "But it's locked."

Lima frowned. "Locked from the outside?"

"That's strange," McGee said, "Maybe he just didn't use it much."

"Seeing as the video in the main entrance didn't see him leave," Ziva disputed, "this has to be the one he used."

"Alright," McGee said, fiddling with some tools, "Let me just pick the lock."

"Or we could just break it down," La Rue suggested as she marched towards the door. Gibbs moved aside as the girl kicked the door down. Literally.

Tony hoped Abby wouldn't mind the large boot print she now had to deal with.

McGee gave Agent La Rue a deadpan look. "How efficient."

"You bet on it."

Ziva took a step outside and blinked in surprise. "Not what I was expecting."

"Check. It. Out." Tony gazed at the lines of cars hidden in this back area. "Look at this. Now, this is a collection. Man! Nice Chevrolet- must be from the 60s!"

Underwood let out a huff. “They’re just a bunch of gas guzzlers.”

Ziva let out a grunt as Tony pushed her from his path. "Oh! Sweet!" He pumped. Tony slid his hand across a retro, red Plymouth. "Oh," he breathed, "What a righteous Fury. A pure classic."

"Should we leave you two alone?" Ziva teased.

"Let's not," La Rue huffed, "Don't want to scar Abby when she brings her blacklights out here. Place would light up light a Christmas tree."

Tony ignored her. Although, he sent a worried glance when Underwood choked on thin air.

"We're going to have to run plates," McGee sighed.

"It can't be that bad," Percy said as he eyed at the parked beauties with appreciative eyes. Tony knew he had promise.

"That will be something for when we get back to base," Lima said, moving them on till they got to the dumpsters.

And for a bit, they all just stopped and considered the hulking metal bin.

"So," Lima said first, looking at her team, "Any volunteers?"

La Rue crossed her arms and looked dead on at her boss in defiance. Underwood was practically begging, saying something about his nose being too sensitive. And Percy was trying to scoot his way out of Lima's eyesight.

Tony's eyes latched on the green-eyed agent. "I think this would be a great learning experience for the probie."

Tony felt a spark of accomplishment ignite in his heart as both McGee and Ziva looked up. But they were not his focus…this time. Now, he had a new friend that he made over the last day, and Tony just had to involve him in the DiNozzo welcome.

"Jackson," Tony clarified, "Come on, probie."

Percy's eyes widened as everyone turned their attention to him. "Me? Probie?" He looked at Lima in distress but slumped in obvious dismay at her lack of defense.

Tony mentally cheered as Percy clambered up and into the huge can. That is until Lima showed her true ability. Not in defense but in retribution.

"Percy may need some help," Lima said, "Why don't you join him, Agent DiNozzo? You are his senior."

"S-sure, but-"

"You've done this plenty of times, Tony," Ziva said, which McGee rapturedly agreed to.

"What was it you said?" McGee said. "You would never use your 'superiority' for personal gain?"

The snarky nerd even used his fingers to air quote. Tony mimicked him, making sure to nail his derpy face.

"Yeah," Percy said lowly, "I'm sure you've been in the garbage plenty of times."

'Excuse you?'

"Get in there, DiNozzo," said Gibbs.

Tony sighed in defeat. There was no going against the Boss. He had been sent on his fair share of dumpster diving missions, but even though he was a senior agent, Gibbs kept on pushing him back in.

"Alright," Tony grimaced, trying not to breathe too deeply. "Let's see what we have here." He ripped open a garbage bag and casually dumped its contents. Percy yelped when most of the trash landed on him. How was Tony supposed to that the wind would pick up at just that moment?

"I got a ton of shredded documents," Tony noted, picking up the slim cuts of paper, "but they just look like vehicle and business stuff. Got some water bottles. And check this out," Tony lifted a couple of bags and napkins. "Looks like a logo I recognize."

"The Drowsy Owl," Ziva read.

"There is a whole bunch of stuff from that place in here," Percy said, digging a little deeper. "Guess he really liked the place."

"Bag it," Gibbs ordered.

"Uh, which ones?" Jackson asked.

"Everything," Gibbs and Lima said in time.

Tony grimaced. Oh no, they have started to become one!

"Looks like Ducky is here, Boss," McGee said.

Gibbs nodded, "Keep going through the place."

"Keep up the good work, boys," Lima threw behind her shoulder as she left with Gibbs.

"I should grab some popcorn," La Rue considered once the two squad leaders were out of hearing distance.

"When I was younger, one of my favorite snacks was Klik," Ziva shared, "Especially the chocolate-covered pretzel ones."

"Hm," Clarisse hummed in contemplation, "those sound pretty good right about now, too."

"How about you try helping?" Percy asked sardonically.

"Nah, I'm good right here in the audience," Clarisse jeered, "And don't forget to stuff yourself in one of those trash bags once you're done."

Tony winced at how casually cruel she was to her coworker. There was no doubt going to be another argument between the two, as he saw Percy tense. Tony sighed internally. This was not going to be pretty.

Underwood seemed to be thinking along the same lines, nervously saying, "I'll go jot down those plate numbers."

Tony watched enviously as the agent practically ran away, wishing he could as well when the arguing finally started. Ziva was downright egging them on. Hopefully, he could get out of this dump.

-Ανναβετη-

'Sorry, Percy,' Annabeth thought, not sparing a glance even as the sounds of an argument brewed over. She had to get someone who could spot pieces of evidence, not that she doubted Percy's ability, but he wouldn't have even thought about the implications of shredded paper or the products from The Drowsy owl. Agent David had a sharp eye and mind, and Agent McGee would diligently stay and do whatever his boss told him to do to the best of his ability, no matter how enthusiastic he was not. DiNozzo would find what he needed to, then pull rank when Gibbs had left. Clarisse would ensure that by just being herself.

She trusted Percy to find what she had really put him there to search for.

"I'm going to speak to Kahale's C.O." Gibbs told her, "He'll be able to give us more insight on Kahale's apparent assignment, or at least have an idea on who might have sent him."

Annabeth frowned at Gibbs's obvious assumption. "What if this wasn't a mission he received?"

Gibbs gave her a look. "A mechanic would be uncovering this mess by himself in just a few days of being home?"

Annabeth sighed. Welcome to the life of a demigod. But she couldn't just tell him that. "We shouldn't cross it off," she said simply.

He scrutinized her for a moment, before nodding. "I want to speak with the owner of the bar, too," Gibbs continued. "Repeated connections to the bar aren't looking good for him."

"You think the owner is involved?" Annabeth asked. Clarisse had told her that the bartender didn't seem like the type. Maybe he had tricked her.

"We shouldn't cross it off," Gibbs repeated.

Annabeth considered her own words that he threw at her. It was a solid way of thinking, for sure. "Well, you are going to have to hold out on hitting the bar," She told him, "It has not opened yet. Might as well talk to Michael's Commanding Officer first."

She watched as the older investigator shrugged in response, then pull off the lid of his large coffee cup to frown at its contents, or more likely its lack of. Already grumpier than before, Gibbs said, "Let's see what Ducky's got."

"Good morning, Jethro, Agent Lima," Ducky greeted, clambering out of the van.

"You got here pretty quickly," Gibbs said.

"Yes, I was already on the way, having wanted to be at the site of these gruesome murders," Ducky explained

"You went through the tapes, Duck?" Gibbs asked.

"Well, not all of it, I'm afraid. Underwood has given me quite the number of video clips, I haven't had time to go through all of them."

Annabeth made sure not to show anything other than sympathy on her face. "Sorry, Ducky, there were a few years on that tape."

"Yes, full of the man's vile actions."

And that was with all the editing Grover, and she did. There were several clips that Ducky did not receive. Although giving Ducky video that showcased usage of divine weapons wasn't a problem, any obvious displays of powers or mythical creatures had been easily cut out and replaced, thanks to Daedalus' laptop. Grover had taken it pretty hard, though. There were some satyrs, nymphs, and a demigod or two that Grover recognized.

"What did you get from them?" Gibbs asked.

"There is no particular type of person that he targets. They may be young or old, a woman or a man, they could be armed or defenseless. Some he lets live, while others not. He can be rightly called a psychopath, a very murderous one. His killings are random," Ducky said.

'Not random,' Annabeth thought, 'Only when he's hungry.'

"Great," Gibbs sighed, "Did you get anything from the kids' profiles?

"Hm, they are very interesting. I wonder what deeper connection they share with our Staff Sergeant."

"You don't think they are just normal kids?"

"Honestly, Jethro! They were wielding weapons!"

"Not what I meant," Gibbs said, "Are you telling me they may be in on this whole thing?"

"Take a closer look at this image here," Ducky told him, "There is a marking on their forearm. The image is unclear, but it is obviously not a natural mark that they both just happen to share."

"Gang activity?"

"Or…"

"'Or,' Duck?"

"Or they might be part of these Mexican Cartels."

His postulation threw Annabeth off for a second. She could kind of guess how he could come to such an idea, but she really couldn't see two teenagers, far from the border and with no links to a Mexican background, would all of a sudden be part of these cartels. Even if they weren't demigods.

Gibbs also seemed to dismiss the idea. He said, "Cartels don't send kids to do business."

"No," Ducky agreed, "but they do send them to kill."

Gibbs shook his head. It seemed he had reached the same conclusion as Annabeth had.

"There is a possibility," Ducky continued. "I've been over both of their records. ADHD, Dyslexia, hardship in academic and social life, reports of violence, one or both parents dead or missing."

Typical demigods then.

"Not in Wisconsin, Ducky."

Annabeth felt a bit disappointed if that was how Gibbs was derailing this idea.

"Sergeant Kahale was from Maryland," Ducky retorted, "And he displayed all of the mentioned traits. If not hitmen, then perhaps coyotitos or reclutadores. But this man could have easily accumulated a reputation."

The doctor turned his gaze on Annabeth, who had to shake her head, admitting, "Sorry. I don't know much on Mexican Cartels. But I have to agree with Agent Gibbs, it doesn't seem likely."

"Hm, very well. It is not my job to solve the crime," Ducky sighed, before continuing with his reports. "There were a few instances of victims who shared the same circumstances of owning those unique blades that the Staff Sergeant and the children, Mr. Swaller and Miss Hibashira, possessed. What's interesting is that all, except for Sergeant Kahale, and that exception can be argued, all the victims were children."

Annabeth tried to guess what was going through Gibbs's head. After all the evidence that had been revealed to the mortal investigators, victims using celestial blades was expected.

"I fear Abigail is going to be very busy, with the added work of identifying the victims. The families will have to be notified." Ducky lifted an eyebrow at Gibbs, "Have the guardians of those children been told?"

"Not yet," Gibbs.

"Well, it'd be best to do so quickly. Don't go questioning them too hard," Ducky said, fixing Gibbs with a peculiar glare, "They have just lost their children and will all be strongly affected."

"I know, Duck."

Annabeth pondered at the shift in tone of the conversation. And she came to the realization that she really didn't know who the mortal investigators really were. She remembered last night. An empty house with hidden rooms and an obviously unused upper floor. What had Agent Gibbs gone through in his mortal life, outside of solving Navy crimes?

Maybe letting Gibbs call up the victims' families, several of which may be in the know of the divine world, was not the best idea. But if she could do it… and if she could hook up her laptop with whatever program these feds had…

"I can work with the families," She suggested, coming up with an idea. "I'll just need access to facial recognition and the database."

"I'll still have to speak with them," Gibbs said.

"Fine," Annabeth said, already anticipating that, "But this way, they could have time to process the news before you start on them."

Gibbs thought a bit before disappointing her, "I'll need you on this one, if you can get more hints at Greek cult stuff, we could maybe start putting some connecting lines. Get Underwood on it."

Annabeth held tongue before she ranted at him for calling her life a cult. She simply nodded. She could work with that; she'll show Grover how to connect with the federal programs.

"We'll leave you and Abby to take all the samples you need, Duck," Gibbs said, leading Annabeth away.

"Joy," she heard the Medical Examiner grumble.

"Head back to HQ," Gibbs told her, "We'll talk to the C.O, directly. See what he's like."

'See'? Annabeth wondered how they would do that, she doubted Gibbs or his block of a computer could handle a face-time conversation.

But before she could ask, he had moved away and was gathering up his team. She smirked as she saw DiNozzo had already left Percy alone in the dumpster can. There were showers back at NCIS, or so she heard.

She hurried to collect her own company.

"Did you find anything in there?" She asked Percy.

He glared back at her. "No. And thanks a lot, by the way."

"Hey, barnacle boy," Clarisse growled, "We couldn't just let the mortals find drachmae, and they already have a celestial bronze dagger. Let's not give them another."

"Oh. Sorry."

Annabeth sighed. Clarisse had always been quick to realize Annabeth's strategies when they worked together. Percy just relied on his instincts and improvisational skills. It's something that Annabeth had grown to admire and work into her plan making.

"What did you find, Grover?" She asked her satyr friend.

"Um, the cars don't have a smell of monster in them. But they are really old. I think they belonged to Tarsibo's past victims. He must have been here for a really long time."

"Hm, and we just drove him out of his home," Annabeth thought aloud.

"If this general was a Son of Ares like you said, then he is either cowardly or drawing up the power to beat us right back," Clarisse said.

"I said he might be a son of Ares," Annabeth corrected, "But I agree, just letting us kick him out is not something Ares would approve us. But cutting losses and waiting to bring down the hammer is."

"You think he is going to bring the Mexican Cartels into this?" Grover asked.

Annabeth thought back to Michael's notes Abby had sent her. "He confirmed that the Reynosa cartel is involved in the shipment of weapons and suspects Sinaloa's involvement. I didn't find much on them, but I really doubt Tarsibo is going to ask for Cartel help on this. However, the weapons dealing Monster Donuts chain is somewhere he might go to. We really need to find it."

"Yeah," Clarisse agreed, cracking her knuckles, this morning's pounding doesn't cover DiNozzo's insistent jabbering. Not to mention, Ziva is good and is a good match with DiNozzo."

Annabeth nodded at the information that Clarisse implied. "But they are buying our cover stories?"

"Yeah, good thing you fleshed it out, they have gone deep into it and are still searching for more."

"I can't believe they haven't found me all over the internet yet," Percy said.

Annabeth smiled, "They don't have to go onto the internet if their database has all that they need."

"When we head back, Gibbs wants to call up the C.O. with me and have a chat with him. Clarisse, I want you to listen along." It would be good to have another demigod's opinion on the Commanding Officer.

"What did Dr. Mallard have to say?" Grover inquired.

"That we did good last night," Annabeth said, "And I'm going to need your help so we can communicate to all of the victim's families. You are going to have to convince either Agent McGee or Abby, the forensic scientist, to hook up Daedalus's laptop so it can access all the programs and databases they use for facial identification."

"So, how am I going to do this?"

"I'll show you on the way there. Let's go."

Previous Chapter Chapter List Next Chapter

#scarpool #fanfic #fanfiction #Godly Marine: Killed #NCIS #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #PJO #Crossover #gen fic #PG/K+#Writing #Complete

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celiacandthebeast · 8 years ago

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Dr. Peter Green (world's leading expert on celiac) sat down with GF&M’s associate editor Eve Becker at Digestive Disease Week earlier this year to talk about celiac disease and wheat sensitivity. GF&M: Gluten sensitivity is sometimes called wheat sensitivity. Why the change in terminology? Dr. Green: We tend to refer to gluten sensitivity as wheat sensitivity because we don’t think it’s necessarily gluten that’s causing the problem in some susceptible people who don’t have celiac disease. The reaction in non-celiacs is probably due to the non-gluten proteins in wheat. About half the protein in wheat is not gluten; these components are more likely causing the symptoms in people who are wheat sensitive. GF&M: So people who think they are gluten sensitive might actually be reacting to other components of wheat? Dr. Green: Yes. Specifically, the proteins in wheat called ATIs (amylase trypsin inhibitors) can cause inflammation and immune reactions. We don’t know if ATIs are also in rye, barley or other foods. It’s only wheat that’s been looked at. GF&M: Are there any new approaches to diagnosing celiac? Any alternative to biopsy that’s less invasive? Dr. Green: At the moment, there’s no less invasive option for diagnosing celiac disease. European pediatric guidelines indicate that certain children can be diagnosed without a biopsy: the child must be symptomatic with a blood test and a follow-up blood test showing over ten times the necessary elevated tTG antibodies. You don’t want to put a child on a gluten-free diet for life unless you’re really sure they have celiac disease—and we can see temporary celiac autoimmunity, especially in children. GF&M: What is temporary celiac autoimmunity? Are you saying that a child can test positive but not actually have the disease? Dr. Green: Yes. There’s a condition of temporary celiac autoimmunity that we see in children and adults. Typically, celiac antibodies are measured in someone who has no symptoms. People may be getting screened for celiac because they have someone in their immediate family with celiac disease or maybe they have type 1 diabetes. When they get a follow-up test, the antibodies have disappeared and the test results are normal. This is why we advocate a biopsy to ensure that celiac disease is actually present. It’s the main reason why the new European pediatric guidelines advocate a second blood draw if a biopsy isn’t going to be performed. In the United States, some doctors are mistakenly extrapolating these European pediatric guidelines to adult patients. A biopsy is still favored in the United States for children to make sure of the diagnosis because the blood tests aren’t that good. You can send the same blood samples to different labs and get totally different results because there’s no standardization of the tests. GF&M: How can patients deal with this? Dr. Green: We’ve studied this problem. Different labs use different test kits made by different manufacturers. There’s nothing a patient can do about it. The test is very good the majority of the time. Occasionally, however, there are discordant results. In European countries, there are national standards to which the tests are compared. This doesn’t happen in the United States. GF&M: What’s your advice for someone just diagnosed with celiac disease? Dr. Green: When you’re first starting a gluten-free diet, it’s always difficult to know what to eat. So it’s very important to consult an experienced registered dietitian. The National Institutes of Health’s celiac guidelines recommend that a newly diagnosed patient be seen by a dietitian and then followed by a team that includes a nutritionist. Also, you want to be very certain of a correct diagnosis; some medical practitioners will say you have celiac disease without good evidence. GF&M: Can you expand on this? Dr. Green: We’ve seen people who were given a celiac diagnosis based on a positive genetic test or based on results of a non-FDA-approved test using saliva or stool. We’ve seen cases where a biopsy wasn’t conducted and the diagnosis was based on just one positive blood test. Sometimes when a biopsy is taken and mild changes are seen, the pathologist may list five or more possible causes of those changes. Celiac disease might be listed but it may not be the cause of the abnormal biopsy or the patient’s complaints. Let me stress that most people with a celiac diagnosis receive a correct diagnosis. I’m saying that we like the patient’s symptoms, blood test results and biopsy to match. When that happens, it’s a conclusive diagnosis. GF&M: What about follow-up after diagnosis? Dr. Green: It’s important that people have their antibodies measured regularly. We also advise having a follow-up biopsy, so you know you’re doing fine. If your blood tests are positive, you’re somehow getting gluten even if you think you’re gluten-free. If the results are negative, you still don’t know—because not everyone mounts an antibody response when they get a little gluten. GF&M: There’s a lot of evidence that an infection can trigger celiac disease in people who are genetically susceptible. Can you tell us more about this? Dr. Green: About 40 percent of us have one or both celiac genes but only 1 percent of us develop celiac disease. We’re very interested in what triggers celiac disease—and infections have been shown to do that. There’s evidence that an infection in early childhood can trigger celiac disease. Recent studies have shown that rotavirus, a common virus, can trigger celiac. American troops going to Iraq and Afghanistan who had a history of bacterial infectious gastroenteritis, called campylobacter, showed increased rates of celiac disease. We’re interested in defining the multiple risk factors that may be operative in different patients that can predispose them to getting celiac. If we can define these conditions, then we can develop theories of the potential mechanism and test that in the lab to further define why people get celiac disease and why the incidence is increasing. GF&M: Does antibiotic use play a role? Dr. Green: Yes. Antibiotic use is a risk factor. But people take antibiotics when they get sick. So is it the sickness that causes the higher risk or is it the antibiotic use? We don’t know. GF&M: What do you see in the future for celiac disease? Dr. Green: More people being diagnosed—and diagnosed more quickly. And we need to determine just how strict people have to be with the gluten-free diet. Everyone with celiac now is instructed to be very strict on the diet but we don’t know how strict people really have to be. GF&M: What do you mean by that? Dr. Green: We don’t know how much gluten different people with celiac disease might actually tolerate. We have no way of telling. So everyone with celiac has to be very strict with the diet. GF&M: Are you saying that some people with celiac disease may be able to tolerate more gluten than others? Do you foresee a time when gluten avoidance becomes individually specialized, that science may one day be able to inform people of their individual tolerance level? Dr. Green: We dream of a time of personalized medicine, when each patient’s particular type of celiac disease can be specifically defined. For example, you know you have a type of celiac disease that has a high risk of progressing to cancer and so you need to be very, very strict with your diet. But let’s say your celiac disease appears to not lead to cancer; then maybe you don’t have to be quite as strict. We hope to be able to demonstrate that some people don’t need to worry so much about cross contamination, which could improve their quality of life. There’s no reason why there can’t someday be a pill or injection to help people with celiac disease. There’s no reason why people with celiac disease shouldn’t one day be able to eat regular food. We’re working to develop a therapy that helps people with celiac disease. There just needs to be more research.

Ask the Doctor - Q&A with celiac expert Dr. Peter Green, By Eve Becker, Gluten Free & More Magazine

#celiac #celiac disease #gluten free

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consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis · 7 years ago

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13 "Harmless" Comments That Actually Hurt People With Celiac Disease

New blog post!

Living with celiac disease can be hard. Hearing people make "harmless" comments about celiac disease or the gluten free diet - "harmless" comments that actually hurt people with celiac disease, like yourself or your loved ones - can be even harder.

That’s why, after I read this great post about 19 seemingly harmless comments that actually hurt people with fibromyalgia, I knew I wanted to write a similar post about celiac disease. I have two goals with this post. First, I hope that, if you have celiac disease and are struggling with family members or friends who don’t understand and make (accidentally) hurtful comments like these, reading this post will make you feel less alone. (After all, all 13 of these comments are based on things I've actually be told or have heard about from others with celiac disease!) Second, I hope this post raises awareness of just how hurtful these kind of comments can be for people with celiac disease - and that these comments stop being said!

Whether you have celiac disease, know someone who does or just want to be more aware of this complex chronic illness, keep reading to discover 13 comments that drive people with celiac disease a little crazy.

1. "My aunt, uncle, best friend, wedding caterer (or any other random friend or family relation) had celiac disease years ago and they can eat gluten now."

Two points: first, celiac disease is a chronic illness and cannot be outgrown (unlike, for instance, food allergies) and there is no "cure" except for a strict, gluten free diet. Second? I am not your uncle, best friend, wedding caterer, etc. and his or her medical history likely does not have any direct correlation to mine. I appreciate you caring about me enough to try to keep me informed about others' alleged "cures" from celiac disease, but supporting my need for a gluten free diet would be even more helpful.

2. "Gluten free food is so gross."

True, gluten free food will rarely (if ever) taste like its "normal", wheat-filled counterparts. However, we're lucky enough to live at a time where there are plenty of delicious gluten free brands to enjoy, ranging from fluffy gluten free bread to crunchy pretzels and granola bars. Not only that, but people with celiac disease don't have a choice about eating gluten free...so, please, don't make our diet sound like an unavoidable death sentence to our taste buds.

3. “No wonder you’re so skinny.” OR “I thought everyone with celiac disease or who eat gluten free was skinny.”

As I’ve mentioned before, people often assume that everyone with celiac disease is skinny. Similarly, people often equate the gluten free diet with a weight loss diet. Both assumptions are incorrect - and, either way, commenting on someone's weight is rarely a good idea.

4. “Why do you have to be so picky about your food?”

I get it; sometimes, it's annoying when people have dietary limitations, especially if you're trying to organize a family get-together or a restaurant outing for a large group. However, celiac disease isn't a choice and neither is our strict gluten free diet, so please don't imply (even unintentionally) that it is.

5. “I went gluten free for three weeks, so I totally understand how hard it is.”

Recognizing how hard it can be for people to live with celiac disease? Awesome. Trying to empathize with a celiac's daily struggles? Always appreciated! It's also important to realize, though, that going on a short-term gluten free diet is very different than having to eat a strict gluten free diet free of cross contamination for the rest of your life, and to avoid blanketly equating those two experiences.

Like this post? Tweet me some love by clicking here: "Have #celiacdisease or know someone who does? Today, I'm sharing 13 "harmless" comments that actually hurt people who have #celiac or need a #glutenfreediet...and what you should say in response. What comment drives you the craziest? #glutenfree #health http://bit.ly/2tWSDSp"

6. “I could never be gluten free!”

On the other hand, painting the gluten free diet as some nearly-impossible challenge isn’t overly helpful either. Yes, eating a gluten free diet (for celiac disease, gluten intolerance or any other medical condition) can be challenging. However, there are hundreds of thousands of gluten free people who constantly prove just how possible - and delicious - eating gluten free can be.

7. “So are you going to force your husband/wife go gluten free too?”

If this comment is originating from a genuine interest in my love life, that’s one thing. More often, though, comments like this make it sound like being married to someone with celiac disease would be horrible because we force people to ditch bread.

If someone cares about me enough to go gluten free or even just eat gluten outside the house, that’s awesome. Do I try to convert every gluten-eater I meet (whether I’m dating them or not)? No. Personally, I don't think that a gluten free diet is the best diet for everyone (especially if they don't have gluten intolerance, a sensitivity to fodmaps or, obviously, celiac disease). As for dating people who eat gluten, well, my dates either need to eat gluten free or get very used to brushing their teeth every time they want to kiss me...and no one has complained of those options so far! As the old saying goes, "Those who care don't matter, and those who matter don't care." I think the latter is definitely true when it comes to loving someone with celiac disease or another chronic illness.

8. “Don’t you miss *insert any gluten-filled food, ranging from Papa John’s pizza to donuts*?”

After over four years of living gluten free, I can honestly say that I've found replacements for most of my favorite pre-celiac comfort foods. However, there are definitely days when I'd love to just pick up the phone, order takeout from anywhere that sounds tasty and not have to worry about any of the ingredients in, or cooking process of, my dinner.

So, yes, I do miss those foods...but, most days, I choose to focus on everything I can eat instead. As a result, I'd encourage people to instead ask, "What's your favorite gluten free food?" or "What's your favorite gluten free recipe?"

9. “Mary worked really hard on this cake/dinner/other gluten-filled food. It’s rude if you don’t even try it.”

Turning down all gluten-containing (or questionable gluten free) foods may not help us win Miss Congeniality, but health always comes before politeness. If people with celiac disease could eat “just a little” gluten without experiencing major brain fog, digestive distress, intestinal damage and other symptoms, many of us probably would. But celiac disease doesn’t work like that, so we don’t either.

10. “But you used to be able to eat everything just fine!”

Celiac disease is unique in that someone can be born with the gene, never have it activated and therefore never have a problem eating gluten. However, once the celiac gene has been turned on (and scientists are still researching possible triggers), the only treatment is a strict gluten free diet. The fact that someone used to be able to eat gluten doesn’t make his or her medical need to eat gluten free from now on any less valid.

11. “That [symptom] doesn’t sound like celiac disease to me.”

Although people often assume that everyone with celiac disease experiences digestive-related symptoms, symptoms of celiac disease can range from rashes to anxiety or ADHD to unexplained anemia. Some people even have silent celiac disease, meaning that they don’t experience any negative symptoms from eating gluten but damage is still done to their intestines. No matter what symptoms caused someone to be diagnosed with celiac disease, they still have it...and they still need s gluten free diet.

12. “My cousin has celiac disease and she can eat *insert food here* just fine.”

Because everyone with celiac disease is different, all of our gluten free diets are different to some extent. Some celiacs feel best eating a paleo diet while other celiacs go vegan. Not to mention that different celiacs might be more or less comfortable with different kinds of “gluten free” food. For instance, some celiacs might only feel comfortable eating certified gluten free foods while others will eat most products without gluten or wheat in the ingredients. Just like people who eat gluten don’t love every single gluten-filled food, someone with celiac probably also doesn’t love every gluten free food on the market.

Bottom line? Just because a food is gluten free or is eaten some other person with celiac disease doesn’t mean we will eat it...or want to eat it!

13. “But you look normal.”

Just like fibromyalgia, celiac disease is an invisible illness and you can’t automatically pick someone with celiac disease out in a crowd. “Invisible,” however, doesn’t mean “fake” or “less important.” As I shared in a previous blog post, there are also many ways that you can "see" our celiac disease, from the questions we ask restaurant chefs to the five million gluten free snacks always hiding in our bags. So what can you do if you have celiac disease (or know someone who does) and you hear these kind of statements? First of all, don't take these comments personally. They can be said with misguided love, like when relatives try to explain how their neighbor found a "cure" for celiac disease. They can also simply originate from incorrect societal assumptions or stereotypes, like the celiac disease myths I explained a few weeks ago. Secondly, if you do feel comfortable responding to the comment, try to focus on educating the speaker.

After all, as much progress as celiac disease awareness has made in recent years, there is still room for improvement...and speaking up when "harmless" comments like occur - and/or avoiding making these comments yourself - is another important step in the right direction.

What "harmless" comments about celiac disease, gluten free food or chronic illness drive you a little crazy? How do you respond to these kind of statements? Tell me in the comments!

via Blogger http://ift.tt/2DGWVwy

#Blogger #college #celiac #gluten free #coeliac #celiacs #paleo #primal #foodporn #foodart

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captainlenfan · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on http://websiteshop.network/episode-438-qa-with-robb-nicki-31-2/

Episode 438 – Q&A with Robb & Nicki #31

http://robbwolf.com/2019/08/02/episode-438-qa-with-robb-nicki-31/

It’s time for Episode 438, Q&A #31!

Submit your own questions for the podcast at: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

If you want to see the video for this podcast, be sure to check out our YouTube channel.

Show Notes:

1. Is Carbonated Water Okay? [1:41]

Brice says:

Just listened to Wired To Eat and loved it. I’m not too far off from this diet, am pretty “fit”, but too frequently make exceptions which I think are totally sabotaging my efforts.

I’m still curious about your thoughts on carbonated water without added colors and flavors – like Topo Chico, Croix, Perrier, etc. I have one of these every couple days.. more as a treat than anything.

2. Have You Seen This Gluten Enzyme Study? [3:40]

Austin says:

http://suppversity.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-gluten-solution-aspergillus-niger.html

This is an enzyme that apparently neutralizes (or has the potential to) the inflammatory effects of gluten. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If you’ve talked about it in a podcast already could you point me in the direction of finding it. If you haven’t talked about it, could you include it in an upcoming podcast?

Thanks, Austin

3. Ancestral Consumption of Psychoactives? [7:42]

Charles says:

Hey there Robb!

I’m a “never smoker” as my doctor calls it and intend to stay that way, but this week I’m experimenting with very low dose nicotine patch. Got 21mg clear patches and cut into 8 to 12 pieces, one per day during daylight hours. Intentionally avoiding the nicotine rush I’ve found with gums and lozenges. Jury is still out overall, but so far it seems to help improve ADHD, intermittent fasting, and persistent low mood.

But that got me to thinking: For ancient hunter-gatherers, what would the usual modes of consumption be for such “medicinal” plants? Aside from smoking (“hey let’s light this stuff on fire and breathe deep! great idea! cough cough gag”) which is indeed attested in the historical contact record… My guess is tobacco, coca, and khat in their weaker pre-agricultural breeds would be chewed and spit. Maybe Mary Jane (again, the weaker natural version) would be an herb to go with fatty meats. Yerba mate and ordinary tea we know have been drunk in a hot water infusion. Then there’s coffee and chocolate which are more recent…

Maybe part of our modern problem with drug abuse isn’t the drug itself, but rather how it’s been bred and prepared incorrectly. Much as it is with food. This is all speculation though. Have you given the matter any serious thought?

4. Vegan Vitamin D3? [23:36]

Leonardo says:

Hi Robb,

I just wanted to ask how do they make VEGAN vitamin D3 supplements?

Vitamin D3 as cholecalciferol is an animal product and it is created from cholesterol, isn’t it?

How do lichens or other sources produce it? Is it the same form? Is it bioavailable in the same way?

Thanks for everything you do, I appreciate your work,

Leo

5. Gut Dysbiosis Concerns on Keto? [25:06]

Keenan says:

Dear Robb,

I appreciate very much your non-dogmatic approach when it comes to tackling information regarding VLC and keto dietary approaches (ie who are you, what are your performance needs, are you sick and busted up, a hard charging athlete, etc). That’s why I feel you’re the best person to ask about this, as you aren’t inherently biased.

I have a family history of cancer, depression, mental illnesses, addiction, and adult ADHD. I haven’t been diagnosed with any of these issues, though I definitely deal with unevenness in mood and focus. Besides my interest in preventing any future health issues for which I might be at risk, I’ve found that a very low carb, high fat diet just seems to suit my brain the best. I’m less irritable and anxious, my sex drive is fine, and most importantly for me, my focus and attention is just totally on-point. I’ve tried a multitude of eating styles but VLC is the only one that finds me springing out of bed in the morning with the birds chirping and excitement to get to work each day. I call it “natures adderall” except I don’t have any crazy stim-mania.

The only thing holding me back from maintaining this approach is a nagging worry about the hypothetical implications of long term VLC, as it pertains to GI microbiome diversity, potential dysbiosis risks, mucin production, thyroid problems, etc. I’ve read as much as I can find from the experts I tend to trust in this field (Attia, D’agostino) but I’ve yet to find anything that definitevly quells my worry of causing some sort of damage, from which it might be difficult to come back.

Do you think the long terms risks might be overblown? I do take prescript-assist and raw potato starch as potential mitigators, but I don’t know if VLC is taking a step or two back for my gut bugs, and I’m very concerned about treating them well. I always suspected gut problems being at the root of my late father’s alcoholism and his myriad of inflammatory problems. Some of these worries have prevented me from staying in keto for longer than about a month at a time. Every time I start phasing a larger amount of carbs back in, however, there’s a mild and annoying accompanying brain fog and up/down cycle, seemingly irrelevant of the dietary source.

I understand that these questions get vetted and you’re busy, so no worries if this doesn’t make the cut. I sincerely appreciate everything you and your team have done for the health of my family and myself, as well as the awareness you’re raising regarding even larger political issues we’re facing.

Sincerely,

Keenan LeVick

Where you can find us:

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Transcript:

Download a copy of the transcript here (PDF)

Robb: Howdy, wife.

Nicki: Hello, hubs.

Robb: Seems like I’ve seen you here before.

Nicki: Once or twice.

Robb: Yep. Anything new? Anything exciting? Got anything to share?

Nicki: Just no, moving is a B-I-T-C-H and just getting all of our to-dos done. It’s just a process.

Robb: Indeed it is.

Nicki: Like they say, you chop wood, carry water.

Robb: Yeah.

Nicki: Got to get her done.

Robb: Indeed. I guess with that we’ll get this podcast done.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see.

Robb: Most awkward start to a podcast ever.

Nicki: Always, always, we’ll win that award. Okay. Our question to kick this week off is from Bryce on the topic of carbonated water. Bryce says, “I just listened to Wired To Eat and loved it. I’m not too far off from this diet. I’m pretty fit, but too frequently I make exceptions which I think are totally sabotaging my efforts. I’m still curious about your thoughts on carbonated water without added colors and flavors like Topo Chico, La Croix …”

Robb: La Crotch.

Nicki: La Crotch, that’s what we call it.

Robb: It’s still good stuff, but …

Nicki: “Perrier, et cetera. I have one of these every couple days, more as a treat than anything. Robb, what do you think about Topo Chico and other non-flavored, carbonated waters?”

Robb: You know, when I contemplate the potentiality bordering on certitude of the implosion of civilization, two things I’m very concerned with. One is how will I get coffee? And two, how will I get bubbly water? So, I mean, as far as derailing something, every once in a while you hear something that’s like, “Oh, I had bubbly water and then I had to eat a whole cheesecake,” and it’s like, “Well, where did the cheesecake come from? You’re not supposed to have that in your house anyway,” so I think bubbling water is great. I’m not sure if Topo Chico has much in the way of minerals but I know the German “Gervolshesteiner” water, whatever, has a lot of magnesium. I think those things are great. It’s a nice way to break things up.

Nicki: It’s great with some lime juice.

Robb: Pretty good with some element in it but you’ve got to be careful because that shit will bubble over.

Nicki: Bubble over like a volcano.

Robb: Yeah. I can’t find anything really to fault with it, so yeah.

Nicki: No, and you don’t have to have it every couple days. You could have it every day.

Robb: We often do.

Nicki: As we often do.

Robb: And we’ve lived to tell the tale, thus far.

Nicki: Yeah, thus far. Thanks Bruce. Let’s see here, our next question is from Austin. “Robb, have you seen the study about a gluten enzyme? This is an enzyme that apparently neutralizes or has the potential to neutralize the inflammatory effects of gluten. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If you’ve talked about it in the podcast already, point me in a direction. Otherwise, what are your thoughts?”

Robb: Yeah, it’s interesting stuff. I guess you could say it’s neutralizing it. The aspergillus niger enzyme is a prolyl endopeptidase which has the ability to chop up the gluten protein. Gluten proteins and some similar proteins are very rich in proline and the way the structure is put together, most proteases … most of the enzymes that break down peptides and peptidases, proteases, they have a tough time getting in there and acting on gluten and similar proteins. It’s almost like a prion in a way. It’s just difficult to break down. What appears to be the case is that if you were celiac or someone …

Robb: See, this is where it gets a little bit tricky, if you have non-celiac gluten sensitivity, and so maybe your problem is wheat germ, a glutenin and not gluten. Then this may or may not really help you. It might help … I’m not sure about the efficacy of attacking wheat germ or glutenin versus gluten itself, but if you provide that enzyme and you get a pretty low dose, like what would be consistent with just kind of cross-contamination. You know, like a steak gets grilled on a grill that had some toast on it or something like that, it’s probably okay.

Robb: What it doesn’t allow you to do is as a celiac, go sit down and eat a gluten containing pizza and come away scot-free. So that’s one piece of the story, and it’s really interesting because one could … THere’s this whole story in the kind of gut microbiome and our ability to digest different things that is very dependent on the gut flora. So, there was a fantastic study. It was a clinical intervention in children with celiac disease. They demonstrated that they had villous atrophy. You know, the damage to the intestinal lining, and then they did a fecal transplant on these kids, ostensibly with microbes that have this prolyl endopeptidase that’s in them.

Robb: Never really 100% sure, because you have to actually sequence for the gene and not just the species, and all that type of stuff, but in theory, it had the potential hardware to do this, and I believe seven out of the 10 kids, upon subsequent gluten challenge, showed no villous atrophy after that, and no signs and symptoms of reactivity. So it is really interesting, and one could make the case that a lot of our ability to digest a wide variety of substances probably should be augmented from … excuse me, a healthy gut microbiome, which is ever more challenging.

Robb: With processed foods, we lose gut diversity. With antibiotics, we lose gut diversity, and it’s unclear how exactly you get those back. It may be that all of us are going to need to take a poop capsule that’s harvested from the one remaining person that’s healthy on the planet, and we need to do that once every six months or once a year or something like that, but, I mean, these gluten degrading enzymes have some efficacy. You can’t be a knucklehead in using them, and then there are some other approaches, like the fecal transplant, that show some really remarkable promise for people.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see, our next question is from Charles on ancestral modes of consumption for psychoactives.

Robb: That’s a mouthful.

Nicki: “Hey Robb, I’m a never smoker, as my doctor calls it, and intend to stay that way, but this week I’m experimenting with a very low dose nicotine patch. Got 21 milligram clear patches and cut into eight to 12 pieces, one per day during daylight hours, intentionally avoiding the nicotine rush I found with gums and lozenges. Jury is still out overall, but so far it seems to help improve ADHD, intermittent fasting and persistent low mood.

Nicki: “But that got me thinking. For ancient hunter-gatherers, what would the usual modes of consumption be for such medicinal plants? Aside from smoking, ‘Hey, let’s light this stuff on fire and breathe deep.’ ‘Great idea, cough, cough, gag,’ which is indeed attested in the historical contact record. My guess is tobacco, coca and …” is that cat?

Robb: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Nicki: “In their weaker, pre-agricultural breeds, would be chewed and spit. Maybe Mary Jane? Again, the weaker, natural version, would be an herb to go with fatty meats. Yerba mate and ordinary tea, we know, have been drunk in a hot water infusion. Then there’s coffee and chocolate, which are more recent. Maybe part of our modern problem with drug abuse isn’t the drug itself, but rather how it’s been bred and prepared incorrectly, much as it is with food. This is all speculation though. Have you given the matter any serious thought?”

Robb: Yeah, I’ve noodled on this a bit. I wouldn’t consider myself an ethnobotanist by any means, but have tinkered with psychoactive substances throughout my career and have found nicotine to be really beneficial for focus. It helps with some GI related issues. On this addiction story, I really should dig this up. Again, I forget where the study was performed, but it looked at addiction rates in … or addiction propensity for … This was not food. They were looking more at nicotine and cocaine and stuff like that, in indigenous peoples, and they also did some interesting experiments in animal models. What they found is that in the animal models, if the animals had a very enriched, engaged environment, as close as they could get to a legit free living, natural world, the tendency to want to go take a sip out of the cocaine laced water was kind of trivial.

Robb: The mice would check it out once in a while but it really wasn’t a big deal, whereas when the mice were bored and in a non-stimulating, enriched environment, they couldn’t get enough of this stuff. And so I think a lot of the tendency towards addiction of all kinds, whether it’s video games or food, although food acts in kind of a different way because there’s kind of an underlying survival mechanism there. You know, optimum foraging strategy plus palate fatigue, kind of overlapping, and then the fact that people really do engineer food to be more-

Nicki: Overeat.

Robb: Yeah, propensity to overeat, there’s maybe a little bit of a different story there, but by and large … And this is kind of a weird thing, because you can wax nostalgic about our hunter-gatherer past and you forget disease, infections, murder, tribal warfare. You know, infant mortality. There’s some super gnarly stuff, but also-

Nicki: Poisonous bugs.

Robb: Poisonous bugs, but there’s also studies within the Kung San, within the Hadza. These people are generally … they appear to be very happy and content. I remember there was a Huffington Post piece talking about a guy going to spend some time with the Hadza, and there was like an 11-year-old boy that was sent from the tribe to go meet this guy. When the guy met the boy, he said, “Hey, how long have you been waiting for me?” And he said, “Not long.” He was like, “Okay,” and then as they talked more, he said, “Well, how long were you there?” He’s like, “About four days.” The guy was like, “Well, that seems like a long time.” He’s like, “No, not particularly long. We didn’t know exactly when you would be here.”

Robb: For a modern person waiting four days, they would lose their fucking mind. I probably would, whereas … and again, you don’t want to overly romanticize this stuff, but there’s something that’s just different about being comfortable in your environment that … “I’m waiting for this guy and I’ve been here four days.” I don’t know how long it would have been considered long. Like a week, a month?

Nicki: Three weeks, yeah.

Robb: Yeah, I don’t know, but the kid was basically just kind of hanging out there, and that just speaks to a very different kind of mental state and processing and all that. There’s all this literature that suggests just being out in nature is very restorative to people. When I did the I, Caveman show, it was very difficult on a lot of levels, but one of the coolest things about it was that there was no multitasking. When you needed to do something, you did that one thing, because you couldn’t multi-task in this scenario. Like if you screwed something up, then it might take you twice as long, and I really went into that thing with a … which a lot of my castmates did not, but I really went into that with the mindset of, “What if this really was the way that I had to live the rest of my life? How do you play this game then?” It made you think about injury and-

Nicki: Feeding your family.

Robb: Feeding your family and stuff like that, and so you really had to focus, so I think so much of this kind of addiction story is really kind of a malaise with modern living. It’s interesting because specialization has allowed us to … Matt Ridley, The Rational Optimist book is amazing. It talks about how specialization has arguably allowed us to improve our standard of living and, in theory, work less hard even though we seem to be working ever harder and longer hours and all this stuff in the quest for the accumulation of stuff, and you’ve just been reading Mark Manson’s book …

Nicki: Everything Is …

Robb: Thought.

Nicki: Thought. It was great.

Robb: He touches on a lot of this stuff. Do you have any thoughts around this?

Nicki: I mean, just to tie into what you’re saying, he just talks about … He actually does a really interesting job of explaining child versus adolescent versus adult psychology, and the desire as a child to only seek out pleasure and avoid pain … Well, actually, all people do this, but as you age and you go through adolescence, you learned kind of how to bargain and negotiate around things, but then the adult does things just because it’s right to do. He also makes the point that one of our big problems in society is that very few people are reaching-

Robb: Adult.

Nicki: Adulthood, regardless of your chronological age. This kind of psychological distinction, not many people are actually reaching that.

Robb: And there’s a-

Nicki: But we’re consumed with distracting ourselves, and marketing and all of this stuff, it’s all about distractions and an addiction to something is also … It’s sort of keeping you-

Robb: To tie into this, Jocko Willink talks about discipline is freedom, and to some degree, this thing of doing something because it’s the right thing, not because you’re acting like a child or an adolescent, there’s a certain freedom in that because the tyranny of options kind of disappears. It’s like if you’re going to get up and you’re going to work out and you’re going to do that by hell or high water, then there’s … just the tyranny of options kind of disappears. You don’t have to spin out about, “Oh, do I do this? Do I do that?” You just do it.

Robb: And not to get too far field, but Nicki and I were talking about the Mark Manson book and I mentioned that this … Hopefully I can actually tie this back in and make sense of it and not sound like we’re on an acid trip right now, but one of the main distinctions between modern dogs and wolves is that modern dogs stop their cognitive development in an adolescent stage and that’s what makes them docile and subservient more easily than humans, and this is why wolves make very dodgy pets, because they grow into adults and they’ve got their own kind of agency in a way that dogs don’t have that, and so this is a whole interesting thing, too, that I think lacking the sense of agency and the sense of purpose in life can be very challenging. The monotony of life, of benefiting from specialization but at the same time just like, “What, I’m going to do this thing for another 30 years?”

Robb: Like, I really enjoy doing all this health related stuff, but some days I’m kind of like, “Do I really want to keep doing this? Do I want to deal with knuckleheads on the internet just nitpicking every little detail but then contributing nothing to the process?” And there’s a whole kind of internal thing that I need to do with that to keep motoring along with it, but it’s interesting, and again, we maybe got a little bit far field on this, but my sense in digging into this stuff is that the addictive qualities of so many substances seems to be more an outgrowth of a life that’s just not very fulfilling. Although I might put alcohol in a different category.

Robb: Where alcohol has gone, it tends to really screw up societies, but it’s an agricultural product, and so it’s interesting. I don’t know about how marijuana and all this other stuff kind of fits into that, but it is interesting that addiction tends to be lower in both animals and humans that have an enriched, engaged environment and some of enrichment and engagement is actually this process of becoming an adult with a sense of agency and purpose and to some degree, some discipline, and some something that matters to you. For some people it’s kind of religious purpose, for other people it’s different things, but I think that all of those tend to fill kind of a psychic void that we’re otherwise trying to pile in with buying stuff that we don’t really need or different substances that kind of take us out of the moment, stuff like that. But, good question, and really interesting stuff.

Nicki: Well, and Mark makes the point, too, that there’s just pain that’s inevitable as part of life, but one of the things that we as humans have the ability to do is choose your pain. It’s not like in hunter-gatherer days or when there was a big plague or famine. Life sucked. There was a lot of shit that happened that you really couldn’t choose otherwise, whereas now if you have a crappy job, you can say, “I’ve had enough of this job,” and you can usually get another one or change your circumstance in some way. You can choose to go the gym and have some period of pain while you’re working out, or you can choose to sit on the couch and binge on Netflix and have the pain of your body deteriorating under you. So, there’s choices. Pain is a part of life but you can choose …

Robb: Other options. Again, I don’t know-

Nicki: This is super off topic.

Robb: Maybe a little off topic, but it’s actually kind of interesting to me because it’s not protein, carbs, fat, so we’ll talk a little bit more about it. You turned me on to Emily Fletcher’s Stress Less, Achieve More, the meditation book. Just life changing thing, we’ve talked about it multiple times on the podcast. I keep bringing it up because it’s changed my life, and I am very grateful and want other people to get in and maybe give it a shot and see what it can do for them, but a fascinating outgrowth of doing this daily meditation practice, which I’ve tried a zillion different things. None of it stuck. I don’t know if it was the right place, the right time or just Emily laid this stuff out in a way that was appealing to me, but the long and short of it, this is just kind of an interesting aside, but I’ve found just the interaction upon social media to be almost repugnant at this point, now that I’m doing this-

Nicki: Meditation?

Robb: Meditation stuff. I love interacting with people, but I find that I would much prefer being in … like I’d go over to the keto gains Facebook private group or I’m on the Henry Akins Facebook private group, just where before I would just kind of crack out and scroll through the feed. “Oh, there’s a hot chick. Oh, there’s somebody working out.” I can’t stand that now.

Nicki: You avoid it.

Robb: I just avoid it, which is kind of cool. It’s actually freed up some time, and I don’t even think I was that bad relative on the spectrum, but I was devoting some time to that. Now it’s not just I don’t devote time to that, it is like a rash that I get, even contemplating doing that. So that’s a whole interesting thing, and it’s like have I changed/ Have I enriched my life because the meditation makes me appreciate the moment more so that not only I don’t want that other stuff, but that distraction-

Nicki: Well, the scrolling is also an addiction.

Robb: It is an addiction, and I just notice it in a way now where I’m like, “I don’t like this at all. I don’t want it in my experience at all,” and it’s a very intriguing thing because a big chunk of the reach that we will have with this very podcast is going to go out via social media channels like Instagram, which are predicated on this whole thing, so it’s an interesting experience for me and I’m, again, trying to figure out how I navigate that so that I can continue to provide value to people, but do it in a way that doesn’t make me just disgusted with my life. I sit there and I think, “Well, gosh, I haven’t done a shirtless selfie in a while, so I guess I should do that, because you get a ton of fanfare and more people follow you and ostensibly you’ll be able to sell more shit to them and everything.”

Robb: Then I’m just kind of like, “Fuck that, I’m not doing that. I’m going to have a conversation with my wife about some questions that people cared enough to write them and send them to us and hopefully get some value add from it.” So it’s interesting, but that is kind of … I think was arguably an addictive feature of my life, where I would check … You know, you get up in the morning, it’s like, “Well, I’ve got to go do my business.” Grab your phone so you can occupy that time while scrolling Facebook or Instagram, and it’s like, I just can’t even contemplate doing that now, you know? So it’s-

Nicki: Another perk to meditating.

Robb: Yeah, yeah. Anything else we can beat that one to death with?

Nicki: I don’t know. Charles, thanks for the question.

Robb: Yeah, Charles is like, “Oh my God, that’s the last question I ever ask.”

Nicki: I don’t know that we answered it.

Robb: Yeah.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see, our next question is from Leo on vegan vitamin D3. “Hi Robb. I just wanted to ask, how do they make vegan vitamin D3 supplements?” Vitamin D3 is a cholecalciferol … as cholecalciferol is an animal product and it is created from cholesterol, isn’t it? How do lichens or other sources produce it? Is it the same form? Is it bioavailable in the same way?

Robb: Oh man, I should’ve done a little bit more digging on this, but you can … So for mushrooms, particularly mushrooms that get exposed to UV light, will produce D2, I believe, which doesn’t work as well as D3 but can be inter-converted to a degree, and some of these other supplements, they may just take the vegan source, like D2, and then tweak them to be D3, but it’s interesting. You know, like DHA, even though we usually associate that with an animal based form, ultimately its main origin is from algae, and so certain types of algae are quite rich in DHA, so there are some of these things that, again, we usually ascribe to just being kind of an animal source that can be plant sourced.

Nicki: Okay. That was a short one to make up for the long, rambling response to Charles. Let’s see. Okay, our final question this week is from Keenan. Gut dysbiosis concerns on keto. “Dear Robb, I appreciate very much your non-dogmatic approach when it comes to tackling information regarding very low carb and keto dietary approaches, i.e. who are you? What are your performance needs? Are you sick and busted up? A hard charging athlete? Et cetera. That’s why I feel you’re the best person to ask about this, as you aren’t inherently biased.” That’s a very nice compliment.

Robb: Very nice compliment.

Nicki: “I have a family history of cancer, depression, mental illnesses, addiction and adult ADHD. I haven’t been diagnosed with any of these issues, though I definitely deal with unevenness in mood and focus. Besides my interest in preventing any future health issues for which I might be at risk, I’ve found that a very low carb, high fat diet just seems to suit my brain the best. I’m less irritable and anxious, my sex drive is fine, and most importantly for me, my focus and attention is just totally on point.

Nicki: “I’ve tried a multitude of eating styles, but very low carb is the only one that finds me springing out of bed in the morning with the birds chirping and excitement to get to work each day. I call it nature’s Adderall, except I don’t have any crazy stim-mania. The only thing holding me back from maintaining this approach is a nagging worry about the hypothetical implications of long term, very low carb as it pertains to GI microbiome diversity, potential dysbiosis risks, mucin production, thyroid problems, et cetera.

Nicki: I’ve read as much as I can find from the experts I tend to trust in this field like Attia and D’Agostino but I’ve yet to find anything that definitively quells my worry of causing some sort of damage from which it might be difficult to come back. Do you think the long term risks might be overblown? I do take Prescript-Assist and raw potato starches, potential mitigators, but I don’t know if very low carb is taking a step or two back from my gut bugs, and I’m very concerned about treating them well.

Nicki: “I always suspected gut problems being at the root of my late father’s alcoholism and his myriad of inflammatory problems. Some of these worries have prevented me from staying in keto for longer than about a month at a time. Every time I start phasing a larger amount of carbs back in, however, there’s a mild and annoying accompanying brain fog and up/down cycle seemingly irrelevant of the dietary source.

Nicki: “I understand that these questions get vetted and you’re busy, so no worries if this one doesn’t make the cut. I sincerely appreciate everything you and your team have done for my health and the health of my family, as well as the awareness you’re raising regarding even larger political issues we’re facing. Sincerely, Keenan.”

Robb: Awesome. Awesome. It’s nice to know that what we’re doing matters, even if it’s one person. Man, so I guess first out of the gate, even after all that praise, I don’t think I’m going to have a definitive answer to this, and so it’s a complex topic and I have to say it’s been an interesting ride for me because even though I have been primarily known as the paleo guy, I was the paleo guy that always leaned much towards the low carb side of things, and man, I tried and tried and tried to get the kind of Boyd Eaton, Loren Cordain ratios of paleo to work and it just really didn’t work for me. I didn’t feel good, I had gut issues, brain fog seemed to be up and down.

Robb: I tried every iteration of the stuff, and then smart people like Paul Jaminet raised these questions about ketosis being problematic long term. Like the loss of the mucin layer in the gut because of lack of dietary carbohydrate and the gut bacteria would say, “Well, if you’re not going to feed me, I’m going to eat the gut lining,” and then you lose this kind of … effectively like a mucus layer that is the real barrier between your body and the feces that is moving through it. There’s a mucus kind of layer there, and so I tried resistant starches and safe starches, and man, I really gave it the old college go and I just felt terrible on it.

Robb: I tried everything. I did the potato starch and I feel okay for a couple days and then it just absolutely crushed me, and I think we’ve talked about a couple of times the Sonenberg lab, and they have some concerns around mono-cropping your gut microbiome around one type of fermentable carbohydrate. So if you were to supplement with something, Dr. Perlmutter has a product through Garden of Life?

Nicki: Garden of Life.

Robb: That is a super diverse fiber blend. It has citrus peel and acacia root and all this stuff. If I were going to do something, I would probably do something like that, that has kind of a broader spectrum kind of deal, but there have only been-

Nicki: I think you said before, too, swapping it out. Like doing some of the-

Robb: Yeah, rotating.

Nicki: Yeah, rotating it, so you’re not doing the same-

Robb: Same thing all the time. Yeah, I think that makes some sense, and again, I would just kind of pressure test it for do you look, feel, perform better and all that type of stuff. Particularly when you have this baseline of feeling really, really good when you’re on very low carb and then feeling significantly not good when you’re not. It is a really interesting question, though, you know. Is there some … something that we’re giving up down the road for some gain that we have now? And I just don’t know that anybody can answer that. There are some preliminary studies that suggest that very low carb diets, although they change the gut microbiota, they don’t necessarily change them in a completely dysfunctional way.

Robb: There’s some pluses and minuses but some of the way that the gut changes would generally be associated with beneficial flora, but even some of the ones that are considered to be not as beneficial, the researchers acknowledge that within the context of a low carb diet, it may not matter. Things may change in that scenario, and again, for most people, we see improvements in blood lipids and blood glucose control. Not everybody across the board, but by and large we tend to see that, and something that’s frequently forgotten in this story is that if you construct a low carb diet properly, things like artichokes and avocados and asparagus and stuff like that, you can get a remarkable amount of fermentable fiber and very low glycemic load.

Robb: So I’ve kind of had this notion that … try to eat your way out of ketosis using very low glycemic, low carbohydrates which means that you’re just going to be eating a ton of [inaudible 00:30:59], but Keenan, I appreciate the kind words and the faith that you have in us on this, but at the end of the day, I don’t think that anybody has been able to put a definitive pin on this, because I think to some degree it depends on the person, depends on the circumstance. I tell you, it’s really fascinating, some of the research around, say like the carnivore diet, that is interesting, and ketosis in general …

Robb: So, one of the big benefits that are sold around fermentable carbohydrate is that we release butyrate and propionate and malonate and these short chain saturated fats, which is super cool. They appear to have these great signaling properties and whatnot, and they’re ostensibly feeding some of the gut microbiota and also the cells lining the epithelial cells and what have you, but what’s interesting is in the state of ketosis, betahydroxybutirate, which is just a slightly modified version of butyrate, it translocates into the gut and it feeds the gut microbiota in the epithelial cells, so that’s a whole interesting thing that nobody was really considering, nobody was talking about. So maybe the endogenous state of ketosis is feeding the gut in a different way.

Robb: Then the real mindblower flew by me not that long ago. A whole bunch of the amino acids can be fermented or converted into the short chain saturated fats and are and tend to be preferentially driven that direction in a low carb environment. So, the more we scratch around this stuff … Man, there was a paper that I was reading just a few days ago and it made this case that the most important thing that you need to do, like where mistakes occur in science is on the first page, in the first paragraph, in the assumptions.

Robb: If the assumptions are wrong, then the whole thing goes completely sideways, and this is where I think this evolutionary health, ancestral health, paleo diet model is incredibly powerful as a hypothesis generating tank, but then we need to go out and then tinker and fiddle and see what the results are and whatnot, and most of the big gas, most of the big mistakes that have kind of occurred there, were an outgrowth of wrong assumptions, and it’s not because people are bad but because you had an idea and you pressure test it and it just doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. Your hypothesis ends up being false or there’s some other nuance to it or something like that.

Robb: One thing that comes to mind is Stefan Lindeberg idea around dietary lectins and their potentially causal role in metabolic syndrome. He has the whole Kitava study that he talks about this, and it’s really beautifully done, because he starts with kind of a anthropological observation. People in the West have rates of diseases that are different than this kind of aboriginal culture. Then he does an epidemiological study. Then he does a study in animals, so he’s got an animal model, and then he does a study in humans. The thing is very consistent and it really makes a case that these dietary lectins could be the underlying problem.

Robb: But then a paper came out that suggested that a cellular carbohydrate, refined carbohydrate, is actually the driver for all of this modern Western metabolic syndrome type stuff, and that fits all this story too. There was a great question asked around this, but it was asked in a way that wasn’t specific enough to delineate whether lectins are the cause or whether acellular carbohydrate was the cause, or it may be a combination of both, or in some people it may be lectins and in another people it may be a dense … a cellular carbohydrate.

Robb: So, where we start with assumptions is a really important piece to this whole story, and again, I kind of side with some folks like Dr. Shawn Baker. We can get so out in the weeds with mechanisms and mTOR and all this stuff, and I think it just ends up being kind of bull shit at some point. We know for a fact that if we just don’t overeat, if we exercise, if we sleep well, if we’re generally feeling good, that good things are going to happen, and it’s difficult to do anything else that’s going to be any better for us, you know? And so that’s kind of where … and maybe I’m saying all this stuff to make myself feel better, because I’m in a very similar situation. I tend to feel my best when I’m at that kind of Perry ketogenic level and I’ve tinkered with that and found that I feel even better when my protein intake is higher.

Robb: I’ve even kind of foregone a lot of the vegetable intake that I used to do because I noticed that my digestion was even better with certain types and the removal of others and making sure it’s definitely cooked. So really focusing on that clinical outcome of do I look, feel and perform better, has been my primary driver.

Nicki: Okay. Awesome. I think that was our final question this week.

Robb: Sweet. Anything else we need to tell people about?

Nicki: I don’t think so. I hope everybody’s having an awesome summer.

Robb: Indeed, indeed. Stay hydrated with drink elements and-

Nicki: Send us your questions at RobbWolf.com On the contact page.

Robb: And still, I think, at least for a while most of my activity on social media is going to be over at Instagram. Might have some interesting developments around that topic here in the not too distant future, so, yep.

Nicki: All right guys.

Robb: Take care.

Nicki: Thank you.

Keto Masterclass

The keto diet is one of the most effective ways to shed fat and improve your health. Keto Masterclass helps you start keto right, step-by-step, so that you can be successful long-term.

Learn More

Don’t forget, Wired to Eat is now available!

Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, iBooks

0 notes

3rd-moon-curios · 7 years ago

Note

But yeah! Even though I live in an area where I could conceivably do a little podunk storefront for a reasonable price, I'm probably going to start online. It's 2018 and everything is online now so that may be the best way to go. So to answer, in short, yes! Deliveries will be an option! I'm an herbalist and also have a degree in Naturopathy so you don't have to worry about me being one of those fluffy people who throw random info they just made up. If you can't consume it, it won't be a consumable product. All of my plants are organic and are only fertilized naturally (specific plant composts, etc) and the extra products like beeswax are from a local bee farmer. It's 100% rural here where we all make livings on farms and so on, so you can rest assured that everything is local, organic, and grown with love! Everything will be clearly listed as far as ingredients as well so you know exactly what you're getting. Everything will be processed in separate, specific utensils as well to avoid cross-contamination for those who have sensitivities. The shop would be up-and-running this year but to be completely honest, I am new to Maine and my area only gets roughly 100 frost-free days a year and I live in Hardiness Zone 3 whereas I'm used to zone 8+, so I was hesitant to really go all out until I got a feel for the growing season. I'd be out $3000+ if I lost what I have so far, so that's a no no.

Sorry to go off on a rant like this, I've been meaning to put this info on here! What to expect when this is all in full force: balms for skin/hair/medicinal, beauty products like oils/make-ups/dry shampoo/etc, wellness products like tinctures and such for colds and a long list of other things, herbal tea blends, live plants (hopefully), seeds, and much much more!

Again, sorry to go on and on! I hope I answered your question and then some! I will also be available to take calls or answer emails regarding the products! If you or anyone else has any questions or anything, feel free to reach out! If there's also specific product requests, given I can make it (I'd let you know), by all means let me know!

With love,

-Cayde

When you open will you have a delivery service or will you just be a local shop?

Honestly, I’ve had a business before and there’s a LOT that goes into running a location. I would love to have a little local shop, but luckily, in the are I’m in, there’s a lot of local businesses (convenience stores and such) that have offered to let me sell through them. Edit: I accidentally hit send and didn’t finish lol give me a sec

#hawthorne apothecary

6 notes · View notes

weightlos6 · 6 years ago

Text

Episode 438 – Q&A with Robb & Nicki #31

Episode 438 – Q&A with Robb & Nicki #31:

It’s time for Episode 438, Q&A #31!

Submit your own questions for the podcast at: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

If you want to see the video for this podcast, be sure to check out our YouTube channel.

Show Notes:

1. Is Carbonated Water Okay? [1:41]

Brice says:

Just listened to Wired To Eat and loved it. I’m not too far off from this diet, am pretty “fit”, but too frequently make exceptions which I think are totally sabotaging my efforts.

2. Have You Seen This Gluten Enzyme Study? [3:40]

Austin says:

http://suppversity.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-gluten-solution-aspergillus-niger.html

Thanks, Austin

3. Ancestral Consumption of Psychoactives? [7:42]

Charles says:

Hey there Robb!

4. Vegan Vitamin D3? [23:36]

Leonardo says:

Hi Robb,

I just wanted to ask how do they make VEGAN vitamin D3 supplements?

Vitamin D3 as cholecalciferol is an animal product and it is created from cholesterol, isn’t it?

How do lichens or other sources produce it? Is it the same form? Is it bioavailable in the same way?

Thanks for everything you do, I appreciate your work,

Leo

5. Gut Dysbiosis Concerns on Keto? [25:06]

Keenan says:

Dear Robb,

Sincerely,

Keenan LeVick

Where you can find us:

Submit questions for the podcast: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

Transcript:

Download a copy of the transcript here (PDF)

Robb: Howdy, wife.

Nicki: Hello, hubs.

Robb: Seems like I’ve seen you here before.

Nicki: Once or twice.

Robb: Yep. Anything new? Anything exciting? Got anything to share?

Nicki: Just no, moving is a B-I-T-C-H and just getting all of our to-dos done. It’s just a process.

Robb: Indeed it is.

Nicki: Like they say, you chop wood, carry water.

Robb: Yeah.

Nicki: Got to get her done.

Robb: Indeed. I guess with that we’ll get this podcast done.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see.

Robb: Most awkward start to a podcast ever.

Robb: La Crotch.

Nicki: La Crotch, that’s what we call it.

Robb: It’s still good stuff, but …

Nicki: “Perrier, et cetera. I have one of these every couple days, more as a treat than anything. Robb, what do you think about Topo Chico and other non-flavored, carbonated waters?”

Nicki: It’s great with some lime juice.

Robb: Pretty good with some element in it but you’ve got to be careful because that shit will bubble over.

Nicki: Bubble over like a volcano.

Robb: Yeah. I can’t find anything really to fault with it, so yeah.

Nicki: No, and you don’t have to have it every couple days. You could have it every day.

Robb: We often do.

Nicki: As we often do.

Robb: And we’ve lived to tell the tale, thus far.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see, our next question is from Charles on ancestral modes of consumption for psychoactives.

Robb: That’s a mouthful.

Robb: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Nicki: Overeat.

Nicki: Poisonous bugs.

Nicki: Three weeks, yeah.

Nicki: Feeding your family.

Nicki: Everything Is …

Robb: Thought.

Nicki: Thought. It was great.

Robb: He touches on a lot of this stuff. Do you have any thoughts around this?

Robb: Adult.

Nicki: Adulthood, regardless of your chronological age. This kind of psychological distinction, not many people are actually reaching that.

Robb: And there’s a-

Nicki: But we’re consumed with distracting ourselves, and marketing and all of this stuff, it’s all about distractions and an addiction to something is also … It’s sort of keeping you-

Robb: Other options. Again, I don’t know-

Nicki: This is super off topic.

Nicki: Meditation?

Nicki: You avoid it.

Nicki: Well, the scrolling is also an addiction.

Nicki: Another perk to meditating.

Robb: Yeah, yeah. Anything else we can beat that one to death with?

Nicki: I don’t know. Charles, thanks for the question.

Robb: Yeah, Charles is like, “Oh my God, that’s the last question I ever ask.”

Nicki: I don’t know that we answered it.

Robb: Yeah.

Robb: Very nice compliment.

Nicki: Garden of Life.

Nicki: I think you said before, too, swapping it out. Like doing some of the-

Robb: Yeah, rotating.

Nicki: Yeah, rotating it, so you’re not doing the same-

Nicki: Okay. Awesome. I think that was our final question this week.

Robb: Sweet. Anything else we need to tell people about?

Nicki: I don’t think so. I hope everybody’s having an awesome summer.

Robb: Indeed, indeed. Stay hydrated with drink elements and-

Nicki: Send us your questions at RobbWolf.com On the contact page.

Nicki: All right guys.

Robb: Take care.

Nicki: Thank you.

Keto Masterclass

The keto diet is one of the most effective ways to shed fat and improve your health. Keto Masterclass helps you start keto right, step-by-step, so that you can be successful long-term.

Learn More

Don’t forget, Wired to Eat is now available!

Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, iBooks

from http://robbwolf.com/2019/08/02/episode-438-qa-with-robb-nicki-31/ from https://myfunweightloss.tumblr.com/post/186720570012

0 notes

weightloss441posts · 6 years ago

Text

Episode 438 – Q&A with Robb & Nicki #31

It’s time for Episode 438, Q&A #31!

Submit your own questions for the podcast at: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

If you want to see the video for this podcast, be sure to check out our YouTube channel.

Show Notes:

1. Is Carbonated Water Okay? [1:41]

Brice says:

Just listened to Wired To Eat and loved it. I’m not too far off from this diet, am pretty “fit”, but too frequently make exceptions which I think are totally sabotaging my efforts.

2. Have You Seen This Gluten Enzyme Study? [3:40]

Austin says:

http://suppversity.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-gluten-solution-aspergillus-niger.html

Thanks, Austin

3. Ancestral Consumption of Psychoactives? [7:42]

Charles says:

Hey there Robb!

4. Vegan Vitamin D3? [23:36]

Leonardo says:

Hi Robb,

I just wanted to ask how do they make VEGAN vitamin D3 supplements?

Vitamin D3 as cholecalciferol is an animal product and it is created from cholesterol, isn’t it?

How do lichens or other sources produce it? Is it the same form? Is it bioavailable in the same way?

Thanks for everything you do, I appreciate your work,

Leo

5. Gut Dysbiosis Concerns on Keto? [25:06]

Keenan says:

Dear Robb,

Sincerely,

Keenan LeVick

Where you can find us:

Submit questions for the podcast: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

Transcript:

Download a copy of the transcript here (PDF)

Robb: Howdy, wife.

Nicki: Hello, hubs.

Robb: Seems like I’ve seen you here before.

Nicki: Once or twice.

Robb: Yep. Anything new? Anything exciting? Got anything to share?

Nicki: Just no, moving is a B-I-T-C-H and just getting all of our to-dos done. It’s just a process.

Robb: Indeed it is.

Nicki: Like they say, you chop wood, carry water.

Robb: Yeah.

Nicki: Got to get her done.

Robb: Indeed. I guess with that we’ll get this podcast done.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see.

Robb: Most awkward start to a podcast ever.

Robb: La Crotch.

Nicki: La Crotch, that’s what we call it.

Robb: It’s still good stuff, but …

Nicki: “Perrier, et cetera. I have one of these every couple days, more as a treat than anything. Robb, what do you think about Topo Chico and other non-flavored, carbonated waters?”

Nicki: It’s great with some lime juice.

Robb: Pretty good with some element in it but you’ve got to be careful because that shit will bubble over.

Nicki: Bubble over like a volcano.

Robb: Yeah. I can’t find anything really to fault with it, so yeah.

Nicki: No, and you don’t have to have it every couple days. You could have it every day.

Robb: We often do.

Nicki: As we often do.

Robb: And we’ve lived to tell the tale, thus far.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see, our next question is from Charles on ancestral modes of consumption for psychoactives.

Robb: That’s a mouthful.

Robb: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Nicki: Overeat.

Nicki: Poisonous bugs.

Nicki: Three weeks, yeah.

Nicki: Feeding your family.

Nicki: Everything Is …

Robb: Thought.

Nicki: Thought. It was great.

Robb: He touches on a lot of this stuff. Do you have any thoughts around this?

Robb: Adult.

Nicki: Adulthood, regardless of your chronological age. This kind of psychological distinction, not many people are actually reaching that.

Robb: And there’s a-

Nicki: But we’re consumed with distracting ourselves, and marketing and all of this stuff, it’s all about distractions and an addiction to something is also … It’s sort of keeping you-

Robb: Other options. Again, I don’t know-

Nicki: This is super off topic.

Nicki: Meditation?

Nicki: You avoid it.

Nicki: Well, the scrolling is also an addiction.

Nicki: Another perk to meditating.

Robb: Yeah, yeah. Anything else we can beat that one to death with?

Nicki: I don’t know. Charles, thanks for the question.

Robb: Yeah, Charles is like, “Oh my God, that’s the last question I ever ask.”

Nicki: I don’t know that we answered it.

Robb: Yeah.

Robb: Very nice compliment.

Nicki: Garden of Life.

Nicki: I think you said before, too, swapping it out. Like doing some of the-

Robb: Yeah, rotating.

Nicki: Yeah, rotating it, so you’re not doing the same-

Nicki: Okay. Awesome. I think that was our final question this week.

Robb: Sweet. Anything else we need to tell people about?

Nicki: I don’t think so. I hope everybody’s having an awesome summer.

Robb: Indeed, indeed. Stay hydrated with drink elements and-

Nicki: Send us your questions at RobbWolf.com On the contact page.

Nicki: All right guys.

Robb: Take care.

Nicki: Thank you.

Keto Masterclass

The keto diet is one of the most effective ways to shed fat and improve your health. Keto Masterclass helps you start keto right, step-by-step, so that you can be successful long-term.

Learn More

Don’t forget, Wired to Eat is now available!

Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, iBooks

from http://robbwolf.com/2019/08/02/episode-438-qa-with-robb-nicki-31/ from https://myfunweightloss.blogspot.com/2019/08/episode-438-q-with-robb-nicki-31.html

0 notes

myfunweightloss · 6 years ago

Link

It’s time for Episode 438, Q&A #31!

Submit your own questions for the podcast at: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

If you want to see the video for this podcast, be sure to check out our YouTube channel.

Show Notes:

1. Is Carbonated Water Okay? [1:41]

Brice says:

Just listened to Wired To Eat and loved it. I’m not too far off from this diet, am pretty “fit”, but too frequently make exceptions which I think are totally sabotaging my efforts.

2. Have You Seen This Gluten Enzyme Study? [3:40]

Austin says:

http://suppversity.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-gluten-solution-aspergillus-niger.html

Thanks, Austin

3. Ancestral Consumption of Psychoactives? [7:42]

Charles says:

Hey there Robb!

4. Vegan Vitamin D3? [23:36]

Leonardo says:

Hi Robb,

I just wanted to ask how do they make VEGAN vitamin D3 supplements?

Vitamin D3 as cholecalciferol is an animal product and it is created from cholesterol, isn’t it?

How do lichens or other sources produce it? Is it the same form? Is it bioavailable in the same way?

Thanks for everything you do, I appreciate your work,

Leo

5. Gut Dysbiosis Concerns on Keto? [25:06]

Keenan says:

Dear Robb,

Sincerely,

Keenan LeVick

Where you can find us:

Submit questions for the podcast: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

Transcript:

Download a copy of the transcript here (PDF)

Robb: Howdy, wife.

Nicki: Hello, hubs.

Robb: Seems like I’ve seen you here before.

Nicki: Once or twice.

Robb: Yep. Anything new? Anything exciting? Got anything to share?

Nicki: Just no, moving is a B-I-T-C-H and just getting all of our to-dos done. It’s just a process.

Robb: Indeed it is.

Nicki: Like they say, you chop wood, carry water.

Robb: Yeah.

Nicki: Got to get her done.

Robb: Indeed. I guess with that we’ll get this podcast done.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see.

Robb: Most awkward start to a podcast ever.

Robb: La Crotch.

Nicki: La Crotch, that’s what we call it.

Robb: It’s still good stuff, but …

Nicki: “Perrier, et cetera. I have one of these every couple days, more as a treat than anything. Robb, what do you think about Topo Chico and other non-flavored, carbonated waters?”

Nicki: It’s great with some lime juice.

Robb: Pretty good with some element in it but you’ve got to be careful because that shit will bubble over.

Nicki: Bubble over like a volcano.

Robb: Yeah. I can’t find anything really to fault with it, so yeah.

Nicki: No, and you don’t have to have it every couple days. You could have it every day.

Robb: We often do.

Nicki: As we often do.

Robb: And we’ve lived to tell the tale, thus far.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see, our next question is from Charles on ancestral modes of consumption for psychoactives.

Robb: That’s a mouthful.

Robb: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Nicki: Overeat.

Nicki: Poisonous bugs.

Nicki: Three weeks, yeah.

Nicki: Feeding your family.

Nicki: Everything Is …

Robb: Thought.

Nicki: Thought. It was great.

Robb: He touches on a lot of this stuff. Do you have any thoughts around this?

Robb: Adult.

Nicki: Adulthood, regardless of your chronological age. This kind of psychological distinction, not many people are actually reaching that.

Robb: And there’s a-

Nicki: But we’re consumed with distracting ourselves, and marketing and all of this stuff, it’s all about distractions and an addiction to something is also … It’s sort of keeping you-

Robb: Other options. Again, I don’t know-

Nicki: This is super off topic.

Nicki: Meditation?

Nicki: You avoid it.

Nicki: Well, the scrolling is also an addiction.

Nicki: Another perk to meditating.

Robb: Yeah, yeah. Anything else we can beat that one to death with?

Nicki: I don’t know. Charles, thanks for the question.

Robb: Yeah, Charles is like, “Oh my God, that’s the last question I ever ask.”

Nicki: I don’t know that we answered it.

Robb: Yeah.

Robb: Very nice compliment.

Nicki: Garden of Life.

Nicki: I think you said before, too, swapping it out. Like doing some of the-

Robb: Yeah, rotating.

Nicki: Yeah, rotating it, so you’re not doing the same-

Nicki: Okay. Awesome. I think that was our final question this week.

Robb: Sweet. Anything else we need to tell people about?

Nicki: I don’t think so. I hope everybody’s having an awesome summer.

Robb: Indeed, indeed. Stay hydrated with drink elements and-

Nicki: Send us your questions at RobbWolf.com On the contact page.

Nicki: All right guys.

Robb: Take care.

Nicki: Thank you.

Keto Masterclass

The keto diet is one of the most effective ways to shed fat and improve your health. Keto Masterclass helps you start keto right, step-by-step, so that you can be successful long-term.

Learn More

Don’t forget, Wired to Eat is now available!

Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, iBooks

from http://robbwolf.com/2019/08/02/episode-438-qa-with-robb-nicki-31/

0 notes

harrisjv · 7 years ago

Text

SecureDash Review Should You Get It

SecureDash Evaluation - Are you looking for more expertise about SecureDash? Please review my straightforward review about it before selecting, to assess the weak points and also staminas of it. Can it deserve your effort and time and cash money?

Exactly how to Secure a Web Site from Cyberpunks ( Component 1)

As an internet site proprietor, exists anything even more frightening than the thought of seeing all of your job transformed or completely erased by a villainous cyberpunk?

You've striven on your website (as well as your brand)-- so it is very important to make the effort to protect it with these basic cyberpunk defense suggestions! This short article will likewise teach you how to inspect if a website is secure as well as what you can do to guarantee your website is totally from cyberpunks.

Along with routinely backing up your data (which you should already be doing, for numerous reasons), taking the complying with these seven easy steps will certainly assist safeguard your site from hackers:

Action # 1: Mount safety and security plugins, when possible

As soon as you have actually updated everything, even more improve your web site safety and security with plugins that actively stop site hacking efforts.

Again, utilizing WordPress as an instance, you'll wish to explore complimentary security plugins like iThemes Protection and Bulletproof Security (or comparable tools that are offered for websites improved other SecureDash material monitoring systems). These items resolve the safety susceptabilities that are integral in each system, foiling extra kinds of hacking efforts that could intimidate your website.

Alternatively-- whether you're running a CMS-managed site or HTML web pages-- have a look at SiteLock. SiteLock exceeds as well as past merely closing website safety and security technicalities by offering everyday monitoring for every little thing from malware detection to vulnerability identification to active infection scanning and more. If your organisation depends on its internet site, SiteLock is certainly an investment worth considering.

Note: Our Managed WordPress hosting plan has SiteLock constructed in, along with other features to aid safeguard your website.

Action # 2: Use HTTPS

As a consumer, you may currently understand to always search for the environment-friendly https in your web browser bar at any time you'll be giving delicate information to a web site. Most customers recognize to recognize those five little letters as a vital shorthand for hacker safety and security: they indicate that it's safe to supply economic info on that particular specific page.

In July 2018, Google Chrome released a security update that signals internet site visitors if your internet site doesn't have an SSL certification set up. An SSL certificate is very important because it secures the transfer of SecureDash information-- such as credit cards, individual data, as well as call information-- in between your site as well as the web server. Search engines are taking website security a lot more seriously than ever before because they desire customers to have a favorable and also secure experience searching the internet. Taking the commitment to safety and security further, a search engine may rank your website lower in search results page if you don't have an SSL certificate.

What does that mean for you? If you have an on-line store, or if any type of component of your site will need visitors to hand over delicate information like a bank card number, you require to invest in an SSL certification. The cost of an SSL certification is very little, yet the additional degree of encryption it provides to your consumers goes a long method to making your internet site a lot more secure and trustworthy.

At HostGator, we additionally take website safety seriously, however most significantly, we wish to make it very easy for you to be secure. All HostGator host bundles come with a cost-free SSL certificate. The SSL certificate will certainly be immediately related to your account, but do need to take a few actions to set up the complimentary SSL certification on your web site.

Step # 3: Maintain your website platform as well as software up-to-date

One of the most effective points you can do to secure your website from being hacked is to ensure your material management system, plugins and apps, or scripts you've set up are updated. Since most of these tools are developed as open-source software programs, their code is quickly available-- to both good-intentioned SecureDash designers as well as malicious cyberpunks. Cyberpunks can read this code, looking for protection susceptabilities that allow them to take control of your website by exploiting any system or manuscript weak points.

As an instance, if you're running an internet site improved WordPress, both your base WordPress installment and any kind of third-party plugins you've set up are possibly at risk to these sorts of cyber attacks. Seeing to it you constantly have the latest versions of your system and scripts set up minimizes the danger that you'll be hacked by doing this and also normally takes extremely little time to do.

WordPress users can examine this swiftly when they visit to their WordPress dashboard. Look for the update icon in the leading left edge beside your site name. Click the number to access your WordPress Updates.

Step # 4: See to it your passwords are safe and secure

This one seems straightforward, however it's so important.

It's tempting to choose a password you understand will constantly be very easy for you to bear in mind. That's why the # 1 most common password is still 123456. You need to do much better than that-- a whole lot much better than that to prevent login attempts from hackers and also other outsiders.

Make the initiative to figure out a truly secure password (or utilize HostGator's password generator). Make it long. Use a mix of special characters, numbers, and letters. As well as avoid potentially easy-to-guess keywords like your birthday celebration or kid's name. If a hacker somehow gets to other information regarding you, they'll understand to think those initial.

You also want to ensure everyone who has access to your web site has similarly strong passwords. Institute needs in terms of size and also the sort of characters that people are required to make use of so they have to get even more innovative than selecting the SecureDash standard, easy passwords they turn to for less safe accounts. Producing solid passwords can stop a cyberpunk from having the ability to get to your accounts.

One weak password within your group can make your site at risk to a data violation, so set expectations with every person that has access and also hold yourself to the same high criterion.

Action # 5: Use parameterized queries

Among one of the most common internet site hacks lots of sites succumb are SQL injections. SQL shots can enter play if you have an internet form or URL criterion that allows outdoors customers to fill out. If you leave the parameters of the area also open, someone can put code right into them that permits access your data source. It is necessary to safeguard your site from this due to the quantity of sensitive customer details that can be held in your database.

There are a variety of steps you can require to shield your site from SQL injection hacks; among one of the most crucial as well as easiest to apply is the use of parameterized queries. Using parameterized questions guarantees your code has details sufficient criteria to make sure that there's no area for a hacker to tinker them.

Step # 6: Use CSP

Similar to SQL shots, cross-site scripting (XSS) strikes are one more usual hazard website owners need to be on the lookout for. They happen when hackers locate a way to slide malicious JavaScript code onto your pages which can then infect the pages of any kind of site visitors to your website that are revealed to the code.

Component of the fight to safeguard your site from XSS strikes resembles the parameterized inquiries you use for SQL injections. You ought to make certain any code you use on your site for functions or fields that enable input are as specific as feasible in what's enabled, so you're not leaving area for anything to slip in.

One more convenient tool that can assist protect your SecureDash site from XSS is Material Safety And Security Policy (CSP). CSP enables you to specify the domain names a web browser ought to think about legitimate sources of executable manuscripts when on your page, so the internet browser recognizes not to focus on any malicious manuscript or malware that could contaminate your site visitor's computer.

Making use of CSP is merely an issue of including the proper HTTP header to your webpage that gives a string of regulations that tells the browser which domain names are alright and also any kind of exceptions to the rule. You can find details on exactly how to craft CSP headers for your website supplied by Mozilla right here.

Finally ...

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originaldetectivesheep · 8 years ago

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A Life of Riley Part 1 - The Problem With Grinckles ch 1

As these things go, at least this time of the year, around here, this wasn't far off a perfect day. The sun was still coming up, but there was enough light that Wybert Avenue was a pure riot of orange and red and yellow all the way down the long hill out of West Campus to the slough where the old rail trail crossed, and there was just the right amount of cool, damp autumn fog in the air to give the smell of the fallen leaves the right zing. It was a good feel – the kind of day you hoped your classes were light, that you didn't have a lab due, that there was a good game on late, that one of your un-tenured profs might want to come out and invest a couple pitchers in good reviews at the end of the semester, that somebody on scholarship might have a spare roll of quarters for the pool table. It was as good a fall day as you could ask for; nearly good enough to make up for the fact that I was up and walking through it at seven in the morning on a weekend, or that I'd gotten kicked out of bed because of having to get up – or more accurately, of who I had to go and see.

I couldn't really blame Fred – hookups are kind of like this – but he could have stood to be a little nicer about it. I had my pants half on and was trying to jam a foot into one of my boots when he rolled up on an elbow and rubbed me on the shoulder. "Leaving so soon? Do you really have to? Can't you stay a little longer… and then we can go get breakfast somewhere after?"

I thought a little, and set my boot back down on the floor with a clunk. "Yeah. I can stay. We can stay in for a little. I do still have an errand I have to run this morning, but I can do it after, on the way over if we want to go to Rhoda's Cafe on the other side of the eng campus. It won't take a second – I just need to go up to the AP lab and check in with a friend there about this wire-run list." I set my hands on my belt to push my pants off again, but when I turned all the way around, Fred was backed into the wall, his mouth hanging open in shock and horror as if I'd said "I lied about not having herpes" or something, not "I need to go run an errand sometime".

"AP," he said, struggling to speak, his thin beard and moustache twisting around into rope-lasso contortions. "AP – the Applied Physics lab?" I nodded. "And your friend, your friend who asks you to check their harnesses, your friend is Riley Kannacheskis?" I nodded again, slowly. None of this was news to anyone – Riley was probably the most-well known lab head on campus, and if you asked some rando freshman linguistics major or whatever to name a specific lab, they'd probably say "Applied Physics". But that was kind of the problem – it was why Riley, and the AP, and the stuff they got up to were infamous all over campus that was the problem.

Fred leaned past me and picked up my boot, then shoved it into my lap. "I'm sorry, sweetie," he said, "but if you're really involved with those AP people you're going to have to go." Now it was my turn to sit there dumb and shocked, mouth hanging open. "Don't get me wrong, Leo, I like you, you're still a cutie, and the sex was good, but I'm not going to stay hanging around with you and risk getting attached and then worry when you get roped into something mega-stupid and might get killed. The sex wasn't that good. And I definitely definitely don't want to hang out with you and get involved myself. No way. Period. Those people are too weird, and anyone who gets too close to them gets stuck in their weirdness too. I had a fun time, but this is it for us." He raised an eyebrow, and pointed over at the door.

That was that, and so here I was out too early in the morning without a kiss goodbye and a half-lie to maybe do it again sometime or even so much as a goddamn cereal bar, but even though I was still sore about it, you had to admit that Fred had a point. The AP lab was a weird place where weird people built very, very weird machines, and Riley as lab lead had a weird personal magnetism that without fail, always drew lab members, their friends, and any innocent bystanders who got too close in to the very heart of whatever fundamentally bizarre problem the lab had created for themselves, or decided to tackle for some desperate no-hoper.

Because that was the Applied Physics lab's thing: they applied physics, and built machines. Weird machines, but sometimes amazing ones – like the quantum-state dislocator that should probably have won Riley and Yuping a Nobel Prize if the power supply hadn't slagged itself into a slurry of molten copper and burning motor oil the third time they turned it on. But because they weren't an engineering lab, and thus not always building really practical machines, they had a hard time getting funded, and so Riley was always on the lookout for some kind of back-channel, back-alley deal for parts, or favors, or just future goodwill to stretch the lab's budget and let them keep doing cool experiments. But because the AP lab was what it was, and Riley's solution to virtually every problem seemed to involve doing something extremely weird, usually with a machine that was liable to explode or set itself on fire or polarize everyone's dental fillings in a three-block radius, it pretty quickly got to be that only the very, very weirdest and least solvable problems got brought over; everyone else did something more productive and less likely to result in major property damage, like calling the police or lighting a candle to St. Jude.

The last time that I'd gotten involved with one of the Applied Physics lab's problems, back in the spring, I'd ended up face down in the mud of a drained pond while Riley fired a DIY autocannon over my head at a giant lizard cosplaying as a washing machine. And this wasn't a one-off: there was that time where I'm pretty sure I mugged myself and stole my own wallet in the state dislocator, and that time where Carolína went to deliver some notes and got like stuck inside someone's math problem for three days, and if that thing where Remy's ex-girlfriend drank a gallon of ham and had to get her stomach pumped wasn't strictly an AP lab thing, he had been doing something for Riley when his bike – which we were fishing for when the lizard thing happened – somehow went into the Horse Pond, and he still hadn't really told me what the hell was going on with that at all. I could go on. This was the kind of lab where they ought to have "Abandon All Hope of a Normal Life, Ye Who Enter Here" over the door, instead of just "Danger – High Voltage Equipment In Use, Knock Before Entering".

And yet, here I was still going over there. It's not like Riley and the rest were bad people, not really, and nobody'd gotten badly injured or permanently poisoned yet, and Carolína was able to get herself out of that demogorgohedron pocket dimension or whatever, and nobody'd even gotten arrested after that cannon thing, which had to be like a billion times illegal each way. There was never a dull moment around the Applied Physics crew, and usually everything was safe enough; Fred had freaked out over nothing – he probably thought I was going to beg out of treating for brunch – and was worrying about nothing at all.

I followed the bike path off the street, keeping to the side as it wound its way through the Back Yards of cheap dorms, un-managed woods, and half-maintained rec facilities in towards the main engineering campus, idly looking over the flyers and stuff posted to the trees and lampposts, which always got thicker once you got onto actual campus again. Learn Serbian Today with the Jevrem Obrenović Society. Sydney Pollack complete filmography marathon at the A.T. Burlton, continuous running no readmittance. A protest from yesterday against the validity of the last Kenyan presidential election. Volunteers wanted for an experimental scabies treatment. When you really got down to it, there was a lot of weird stuff going on at this school that didn't have anything to do with the Applied Physics lab. I hitched my shoulders up, thumbs in my belt; I was coming up on the Horse Pond, re-flooded and lizard-free, but still a reminder of how unrelated weirdness could quickly become the Applied Physics lab's weird problem.

The pond was looking healthier for the cleanup, but was ringed in a whole array of new signs, one after the other like those flipbook ad posters you sometimes get in the subway: University Property Sensitive Habitat Please Respect; Vulnerable Wetland No Dumping; Please Do Not Dump Active Nuclear Materials (This Means You Riley, someone had scribbled onto that one in laundry marker); Clean Up After Your Pets; Do Not Use Pet Waste Bags To Dispose of Grinckle Offal; Do Not Re-Release Caught Grinckles. The last couple looked new, and there were a couple buzz-cut freshmen from China or Vietnam squatting by the water's edge with fishing poles and a bucket – so at least somebody thought that the grinckles had gotten over here too.

I'd been working over the summer, back home, and nobody I was friends with from school was really interested in fish or fishing, so it was kind of weird, getting back on campus, to find this weird thing happening where there were these grinckles, which I guess was some kind of spiny invasive fish that I'd never heard of before, in all the ponds and lakes that nobody had ever cared about before, let alone ever found any fish in back in the spring. But now like every third email alert was about grinckles, grinckles as a wading hazard, grinckles possibly contaminated, do not just throw piles and piles of grinckle guts into your dorm trash bags. There was a rumor that they tasted like rutabagas, but I'd never tasted one of those either, had never seen let alone tasted a grinckle, and had no interest in ever doing so. I was just glad that this was an inextricably weird thing at school that was never going to come up in the AP lab; I mean, it was a fish. It's biology, not physics, and it's just a stupid fish, even if it's getting in somewhere it shouldn't. It was someone else's problem, and it was going to stay that way. I checked my phone as I cleared the last bunch of trees onto the eng quad; too early for the bagel stand, but maybe, if Riley had been working overnight, I could borrow something for breakfast at the lab along with my circuit diagrams.

Chapter 2

#nanowrimo #alifeofriley #fiction #so glad hypertext is a thing and i don't have to do comic-book-style callback notes

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