#wtf puppet history

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

I am still so mad at Puppet History for the way they ended the seventh season

[digital-dumbass]

still can’t believe this guy canonically pulls

[dylandotwhat]

The fact that Shane Madej even made a quick comment on SHARING an account with friends, and Ryan Bergaras out of character comments on the podcast shows that he and Ryan damn well KNOW and AGREE with this horrendous idea, so we can't all put the blame on Steven.

In other news, I never like him and his bootleg bourgeoi eat the menu videos in the first place.

[ghostpunkrock]

opera singing takes way more technical skill than pop singing I will say that

[gwyoi]

Watcher fans are dick riders and as much as I don’t like Charlie Moist I’m so glad he’s covering the financial aspect of it and I do trust his analysis on cost

[iwillfightgodandwin]

What the fuck Professor.

[awestruck-atrophy]

“but that’s how I let you know that everything’s okay… because we can laugh.”

*intense closeup of the professor’s face*

ah yes, what a lovely, lore free season of puppet history we’re having so far

(SONG THIS WEEK WAS A FUCKING BANGER)

[ghosteded]

i ask that every day too

honestly we don’t know anymore

[drenched-in-sunlight]

Right, let’s all blame everything on Marika 😂👍 it’s not like she can even talk anymore to defend herself 😂👍 why didn’t she run from the torture jar faster before her blood became tainted and her psyche forever damaged am i right? 😂

God i hope i get to beat this guy’s ass later on.

Also wtf Miquella… finding out your mother used to be abused & thinking wow i need to renounce all of this history is crazy. I knew he was spending too much time with Radagon, their brain cells were merging. I hope to God he found Bonny village after discarding Trina which was why all his love and empathy was gone so he made that headass remark. Because if not then istg i will beat your ass too, Miq. What the fuck.

(To make it clear, this is not even about Marika’s conquests later on btw, this is specifically about her origins. “His bloodline was tainted” “unhinged from the start”. This guy’s castle is right next to Bonny Village and Whipping Hut and his Swordhand of Nights bodyguards are implied to be born in Bonny Gaol (one of those girls is even a puppet !!! wtf !!! Like what that freakass Seluvis was doing in the base game). If there’s a walking hypocrite around here i only see him.)

[waywardmillennial]

SPOILERS FOR PH 7x04

there will be MAJOR spoilers under the cut -- so DO NOT click through if you don't want to see Lore spoilers for the Watcher TV episode from Jan 31, 2025!

okay, if you're buckled up then let's crack in!

After several episodes where the Professor and Ryan have been taking Phorgedytol regularly (given to them by Elmer Walter Williams) Ryan convinces the Professor to skip their dose at the end of 7x04 and they start to remember what happened at the end of season six

and that's when we learn the sad news that Estranged Producer Shane Madej (EPSM) died during the season six wrap party

beautiful memorial video here from @trashworldblog - RIP to a real one

now in the trailer and previous episodes we see EPSM walking down this alleyway but here we also see that he stops and turns to face his unknown assailant - so he knows who did this! (I think this will be important - more on this in a minute)

we see Ryan and the Professor both stunned at what they remember

then we pan over to the memorial for Shane and there are lots of easter eggs that I wanted to point out

first, lmao at Shane's lanky body needing a second urn - and also Boo Buddy!

in the next shot, there's a note from someone (Shawn?) that says "I don't really know what you did at Watcher anyway but we'll miss you. PS [your mom] follows me on IG"

and Lizzie's pink note that reads "To my fellow long white Midwestern Producer. I will never phorget u. ♡ Lizzie" and she spelled forget with the "ph"

OMG! "PH" masks the true name of Phorgedytol (instead of Forget-it-all) but also PH is Puppet History!

(ahem, sorry for that random train of thought interruption - where were we?)

also scattered in the notes are at least two references to Shane owing people money with, "Shane I can't believe that you never paid me back for that In-N-Out WTF Sam" (not 100% on the name) and another that says "This man still owes me $20… with condolences"

and a note with a drawing of the Spirit Box from Ghost Files that reads "You can still star in Ghost Files if you want (but as a ghost)"

(I definitely feel like the Spirit Box will make an appearance again soon)

and I really wanted to point out the note that's presumably from Ryan that says "Haunt me bitch" signed with a heart (!) and the note in front of the newspaper article that reads "Do Not Haunt Ryan"

another note that could also be from Ryan reads "No for real please haunt me. I -"

(and I'm probably glad the end of this note is cut-off or I'd launch myself out a window -- if Ryan was this sad about EPSM and he made himself forget it -- I am crying in the club T_T)

finally we get a look at this newspaper article dated Saturday, August 12, 2023, one day after the PH season six finale, which aired on August 11, 2023

I've transcribed the article below as best I could:

Estranged Puppet History Producer Murdered in the Street Like Dog Los Angeles, CA - In a shocking and tragic turn of events, Shane Madej, the estranged producer of the popular web series Puppet History, was found dead in an alleyway late Saturday night following the show's sixth season wrap party. The discovery has sent shockwaves through Hollywood, with fans and industry insiders reeling from the sudden and mysterious loss of the lanky ghost hunter. A Night of Celebration Turns to Tragedy The evening started out in high spirits as cast, crews, and friends of Puppet History gathered to celebrate the completion of another successful season --2nd column-- remain murky, and the Los Angeles Police Department has yet to release any official statements regarding potential suspects or motives. The investigation is ongoing, and the case has quickly become one of Hollywood's most talked-about unsolved mysteries. Madej's death has rattled the entertainment industry, where he was known not only for his work on Puppet History but also for his contributions to other popular culture at large, such as [hidden] BuzzFeed video "Dogs Watch Television for the First Time.

(it's so funny the article refers to him as a lanky ghost hunter and how this is the most unsolved mystery and that meme dog photo that looks like him hahahaha)

the episode ends with Ryan calling Dorothy Ruth to discover she married Elmer and the Professor wishing they could talk to EPSM, but he's dead, and Ryan says "hypothetically, what if we could"

[ROLL CREDITS]

theory: I think the Spirit Box is going to make an appearance (even better if they used Boo Buddy after all Shane has bullied him imo) to try to contact EPSM, and they'll find out he's in Purgatory with all the puppets that have been sent there and they'll finally be able to rescue them!

I do feel like Elmer has to be behind Shane's murder, even if he's not the one who pulled the trigger, but I don't quite know his motive? we've only been shown he wants to marry Dorothy Ruth but how does that involve EPSM?

and Elmer was really only dosing the Professor and Ryan with Phorgedytol, and maybe some of the other Watcher staff? but Shane's murder was in the news and being investigated by the police?? unless Elmer was really trying to cover it up by pushing the pills on all of Los Angeles and that's why they have the billboards all over town ...

fyi, there was a new billboard spotted in the PH s7 poster that Watcher put on IG yesterday that reads "Phorgedytol - Make Brain go 'MMMMBZZT!'"

maybe the PH buzzer sound?

that's all I have for now! thanks for reading and drop your thoughts and comments in the notes below!

[himluv]

So, @wearewatcher asked fans to make their list of Top 5 Watcher shows, à la Top 5 Beat Down. So. Here it is. All I ask is that you respect the list. Now...

LET'S LIST!

5. Weird and/or Wonderful World

- look. I've watched the Roller Derby episode at least five times and watching poor Shane wobble around leaves me in tears EVERY TIME (from laughter, in case that wasn't clear. He looks like a baby giraffe on roller skates (affectionate)).

4. Mystery Files

- Fun and (mostly) wholesome with an air of wtf? What's not to love?

3. Too Many Spirits

- my household just randomly yells "That's too many (insert relevant item here)" so, I guess it's a part of the family now.

2. Ghost Files

- I mean. It's Ghost Files. What more is there to say? See it live if you can because it's a blast.

1. Puppet History

- I listen to all the songs in a YouTube playlist a shocking amount. I go, "choo choo, I'mma train!" EVERY TIME I see a train. I cry when I think too hard about coins or Ching Shih. Look. All of it. I sing and think about all of it —even that goddamn pervy hippo— ALL THE TIME. I have consumed so much Puppet History that it changed my brain chemistry and yeah, the Christmas 2020 (fuck this year) Special made me sob like a baby, okay?! It's the goat of Watcher and I will not be taking questions at this time.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

I just can't

So leftist want all Jews dead because they label them as white (most of them) and quite a few people on the right actually think Jews are controlling the world and want them dead.

I don't fucking understand this. I really don't I do not get the "Jews are actually destroying the world and are puppeteering in the shadows" mentality. the same as I don't understand the History illiterate people who think Jewish people are not native to the Israel.

No really prove it. You can't. OH WOW some people in positions of power around the world HAPPEN to be Jewish. Ok......so what? What's your point. That's the same mentality of, "Some black people commit crime, therefore they must ALL commit crime." And yes it is exactly the same. And yes I see you leftists. You think Jewish people are all just these white landlords who are trying to take away poor "poc" peoples homes. Sorry shithead. No. Palestinians are not defendant of Philistines. WE KNOW they aren't. AND even if they were. Jews lived in that region even before they did.

I do not get this Leftists and Far Right hate of Jews. I really don't. It makes zero sense. I'm in servers in discord that talk about things like DEI, and current day issues and when I get in VC, or listen to certain people talk or hint, they are all trying to say that "The issue is Jews". HOW EXACTLY!?!? WEF is not headed by some "Jewish Cabal". There's no "conspiracy" where all Jews just have this INSTALLED SOFTWARE where they are like, "Ya know, I want to destroy every country, I want to rule from the shadows, and I just love flooding nations with those not of their ethnic groups".

WTF. No really WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK! I can't get away from this shit. It's insane to me that leftists and far right all seem to believe the most insane conspiracies about Jewish people and I legit DO NOT understand. Dear Far Right, the idea that "A few Jewish people are in positions of power and doing stupid things. Therefore all Jews are the problem" is quite literally no different AT ALL than the Leftist view of, "White people have owned slaves period, they will never be able to repent. Henceforth are all evil." IT'S THE SAME FUCKING MINDSET!

And Leftists. LEARN ACTUAL FUCKING HISTORY. And maybe stop viewing all groups you hate as "White" or "White adjacent". Stop viewing Jewish people through the lense of "Landowners" and "Rich people". You are literally participating in the same Nazi rhetoric Hitler did. You are no better than the far right.

What the fuck is wrong with the world. What? The Bible called Jews god's chosen and now the whole world just wants to just delete them? I'm not even religious but fucking hell. What the FUCK.

Mutuals. Follows. Please if you know anything I ask you weigh in on this. If I tag you don't feel obligated to respond. I'd just like your opinion on this. Because I respect your opinions.

@nerdylilpeebee @gsirvitor @siryouarebeingmocked @generallemarc

[foundfam2754]

S17e9 live reactions!

spoilers...obviously

i can't believe we're so close to the season finale - i'm gonna be sad in august

i feel like voit's been puppet mastering damian/ jade and the bau the whole time and the whole finale is going to be something like: everyone's been doing what voit told them to do and it's gonna end up fucking them over and getting him out of jail

because, think about it, the whole season's been about conspiracy theories. so though there may be truth in stuart house and gold star and bad people doing bad things in all those scenarios -- they've only happened because elias orchestrated them to be. he was the first person to utter the words "gold star" and the reason they're even investigating

how does jill know about their agreement?? she like psychic?

PEN AND LUKE IN THE SAME ROOM! PEN AND LUKE IN THE SAME ROOM *HAVING A CONVERSATION*!

"i've named her penny" "penny the algorithm" god i love PG

hehe i like that tyler is basically a bau team member now

OMG it's the fucking bunker MY POOR BAU TEAM

OMG IT ZOOMED ONTO EMILY AND DAVE PLEASE LEAVE THEM ALONE

IT ALSO ZOOMED INTO "FAKED DEATH" WTF DOES THAT MEAN

where's blake or spence when you need them to analyze people's language or wording cos jade wtf does that mean

pen's outfit is sooo gorgeous!

dave's 2010 ringtone is everything

oooohh is the scene from the promo with all of them standing in front of the pictures and bunker

angry dave is hot dave

okay but zach gilford in a suit >>>>

man i don't trust rebecca

"rizz" omg

i like the fact that jill and dave have like a telepathic connection; it speaks to their friendship, their history

WTF OMG DANA

my god how do they do this job without penelope

i like hearing luke swear 😍😋

ew i really don't need to see rossi and jill kiss no thank you

WAIT JADE NO THAT'S WHERE TYLER AND LUKE ARE - LEAVE PENELOPE'S BOYFRIENDS ALONE

lol i love how emily's so chaotic and funny even in a scary situation

why do i feel like one of the team members is gonna hurt omg

OR oh my god are dave and emily gonna get kidnapped, they hinted at it before right

oh god someone's gonna GET HURT OMG OMG OMG

wait she's gonna fake her death or something i think, they hinted at that too

DAVE AND EM GET OUT FOR GOD SAKES

what the heck was that last shot

[can-of-pringles]

PUPPET HISTORY WTF

[virginmiri99]

Ok. I have a lot to say about this. I think it's been abundantly clear they have been struggling to keep the company afloat, but I also think its a double edged sword bv they bit off more than they could chew in the first place. I've had this opinion for a while but it really cemented since the beginning of Ghost Files. I enjoyed what Watcher was at the beginning, I think they put in good work with Puppet History and it still continues to be their standout show and had a fair amount of "low-budget" shows that filled out the edges like are you scared, too many spirits, top 5 beat down, even their dnd campaign. But as soon as Ghost Files started I began to notice a trend of... idk... bleeding money? Ghost Files was so high budget that I was bored. I get that Ryan wanted to breathe new life into a ghost hunting series but what made bfu so good wasn't the ghost evidence... it was his and Shane's friendship. That's why I liked all their small shows near the start of Watcher--it felt like friends. I think they just continued to go bigger and bigger with more things and more random interns and more shows that it just got to be too much which... led us here. I hate to say I haven't watched their videos in forever, and that ghost files bored me so bad I couldn't even finish some episodes... but thats what happened. I get them moving exclusively to patreon. We all need money. But I wish instead of that, they just focused their energy into their CLEARLY popular series. Puppet History was beyond good--their only series that I didn't mind random guests every episode, in fact it was made better by the random guests--mystery files had potential but came at a bad time, ghost files should've been way lower budgeted and focused on modern house calls TBH! I'm sick of old prisons!!!! And get rid of the fan evidence! Stupid! Also IDGAF about fancy gadgets! All you need is three things and let your humor carry the rest of it. Beyond the "big" series they could have their low budget ones like are you scared, too many spirits, top 5 beat down (the show that I hate random guests for), playing videos games idk man, and like one more or something who knows. But with what they dove headfirst into it doesnt shock me they fell into this hole.... I just wished they realized no one cares about the highest of high budget video series... they care about the dynamic between ryan and shane. Im sick of random ass people in their videos wheres steven lim do a video with steven lim why is he banished to do you taxes. wtf put him in top 5 beat down instead of these random ass random people. the drew gooden one was good though I dont mind actual famous funny people being guests.

anyway those are my thoughts. TLDR they bit off more than they could chew, loss sight of what made them so enthralling, and now are washed up youtubers... saddening

[zee-the-zebra]

Scara's a Youkai, Hoyo's Just Dumb

Genshin lore is driving me up a wall, what else is new? But this is one particular thing that has been bothering me for a while. Because in an effort to make “original lore” for Scara (I’m not writing his full name), they basically confirmed what he actually is while trying to deny it.

So Explain?

Scara, as described in the game as a “humanoid puppet” created to be a prototype for the Raiden Shogun. There are really no details to how he came about or what was done to create him. The Genshin Wiki says that Khaenri’ahn techniques were used to craft him, but I’m calling bullshit because there’s no source for that info. 

This puppet was meant to be “indistinguishable from true life” as Ei’s character story called it. The word “youkai” is never used to refer to him and they took time to say that Hanyuuda Chizuru, a tsukumogami, is an entirely different sort of being from Scara.

Now let’s talk about how all of that is stupid and that Scara is a purposefully induced Tsukumogami.

WTF is a Tsukumogami?

Tsukumogami (付喪神), literally translates to “tool god” or “artifact god”. They are abandoned objects that gain sentience after 100 years of being out of use. Some have specialized names, such as the biwabiwaboku, or the karakasa-obake, while some don’t. Modern tsukumogami can range from being mischievous but ultimately harmless to being vengeful, dangerous beings. The types of tsukumogami known to be the most likely to exist are dolls. 

Because dolls have a human shape, it is far easier for them to gain a soul, and have a human understanding of the world. But at the same time, because of that grasp of human emotion and attachment they are also likely to be the most wrathful when abandoned. There are several urban legends where doll tsukumogami are left somewhere and find their way back to their owners to get revenge for being abandoned, the most prevalent being “Mary-San”.

I don’t need to go into detail about how this lines up with Scara’s backstory.

Existence and Creation

Now, it’s not known to happen in mythology or mytho-history, but in fiction, tsukumogami can be purposefully induced before a century comes to pass. An example of this is seen in Touhou 14: Double Dealing Character, in which Shinmyoumaru Sukuna uses a magical mallet to make tsukumogami out of a gohei (purification rod), a mini-hakkero (Eight Trigram Furnace), and a knife. 

And to further this point, by the next game, Urban Legend in Limbo, Shinmyoumaru took back the overflowing magic, causing the objects to revert back to being objects. So causing a tsukumogami to come to life on purpose is not unreasonable, especially if you play fast and loose with mythology.

In the context of Genshin, Scara can easily be seen as an induced Tsukumogami. And because Ei didn’t take back the magic she used to create him, he remained alive rather than reverting back to just being a doll.

The Symbolism of Fire

There’s a certain Shinto tradition called the “Ningyo Kuyo”. In which dolls are brought to a temple and given a proper funeral and farewell. This is done in order to avoid them becoming vengeful tsukumogami. Oftentimes during these ceremonies, these dolls are burnt as a send off.

However, sometimes people tend to just skip the ceremony and just burn the doll. The purpose being is that it’s meant to lay the doll to rest, and if there is already a spirit inside, to grant it freedom, rest, or and a chance at a new life.

Fire symbolism is in two parts of Scara’s backstory. First with the Mikage furnace, in which he should’ve perished but was protected by a device containing Niwa’s heart. Perhaps it can be read as despite going through fire, he did not burn, meaning it wasn’t his time to be laid to rest yet. 

The second, and important one is with the human child he adopted as a brother. The boy he befriended made a doll in his image to remember him by, but when he succumbed to an illness, Scara burned down the house with his body and doll inside. While on surface this was done so he could cast aside the memory of his connection and “betrayal”. But in the context of a send off, it can be read as him making sure both the child and the doll don’t linger in this world in the same way he did. What’s more is that in his teaser trailer, he walks through, and sits in the burning rubble, as if he is considering putting himself to rest as well.

Gods and Names

Tsukumogami are technically gods because “Kami” usually translates to god in English. However, in Shinto, Kami aren’t gods in the Western sense. Shinto uses the religious concept of Animism, in which there is a god or a spirit for everything and every concept. This is what Kami are. Not gods in the Western ‘can smite you’ way, but spirits that embody certain aspects of nature and the world. Most “godly’ kami tend to have names while most Tsukumogami, and a few other beings with the “神” suffix aren't given unique names.

Most tsukumogami, hell, most Youkai in fiction tend to name themselves, rather than have their names given to them, as seen again with Hanyuuda Chizuru. But that's really only when they form naturally. Those who weren’t induced and even some who were have already accepted themselves as Youkai, and don't care about being gods. So they name themselves and live their lives.

But because Ei created a tsukumogami with the intention of it housing something divine, and never named it, she had basically done the equivalent of calling a project complete even after not doing the last step. Scara was always going to feel incomplete. Because Ei quite literally never finished the process. 

The “Kojiki” and “Nihon Shoki” are sacred books of Shinto, meant to explain the existence of the already worshipped gods. In both, Izanagi, the father of the gods Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi, and Susano-o named them the moment they sprung to life. Because they were named by a god, they became gods. 

For all intents and purposes, he could’ve been a god, but only if Ei named him. Because he never was given a true name when he was first brought to life, he simply remained as just a youkai rather than “godly” kami so to speak.

How Disappointing

It’s so funny to me. Hoyo had literally the perfect set up to incorporate numerous parts of a mythology into their lore. Doing so would’ve given a, frankly, previously flat character far more depth and meaning to his story. But yet, in an effort to be “creative” they ended up with something rather boring and poorly defined.

Not like that is new for them.

But I can still grieve the lost potential.