#yeah. i'm... very prolific about this~

[followerofmercy]

I get insecure about the strangest things. I've been sitting around mildly anxious that I'm bad at media analysis because I don't read enough/watch enough/expose myself to enough new stories and I especially don't get into enough Adult Media

Because I really don't. I watch maybe one show, one movie and play one new game a year, and read between 0 and 10 books/short stories

and then my roommate floored me by saying "No yeah Arcane is a difficult show to understand. It is Really Adult. So was Gideon. It's a really difficult book for most people to get, even the first one" and now I feel a little silly asldfj. Yay good grade in story analysis and being able to engage with a story without just Projecting on it

[bumblequinn]

hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.

as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)

but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:

changing expectations

the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!

my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.

when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.

so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?

with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.

with that in mind:

#1: work slower

when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.

instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.

i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!

now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.

doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.

however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:

#2: switch projects

sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.

this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.

the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.

what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.

but it doesn't have to stop there.

#3: switch focus

maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?

let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:

what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?

and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?

what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?

any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.

or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.

but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:

#4: learn something new

when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.

for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)

it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)

that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:

music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang

mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix

general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!

(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)

of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:

#5: consume art you love

not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.

but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.

and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.

what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.

as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.

none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.

and finally,

#6: rest, and live your life

let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?

take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).

it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.

i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.

when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)

before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:

be kind to yourself.

being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.

i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.

thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.

with care, bee 🐦

[authorddreamz]

More Than Words Left Between Us... Part 2! Coming Soon 🤞🏾💨🧚🏾

Listen....I'm on a very strict journey to discipline myself as a writer. So, I'm going to drop this on Friday June 20th, 2025 8 PM CST

The grand opening of Club Juke proves to be too much for Annie. Seeing Smoke interact with other women so soon after reuniting with her sets off emotions she's far too fragile to process.

Smoke, riding a high from his reunion with his love, misses all the signals that their paradise is slowly going from a peninsula to a sinking island.

Preview:

Annie forced a smile to her face as Pearline, a locally known singer, pranced in her direction.

"Can you believe it!" Pearline crooned, cat eyes pulled tight as she grabbed Annie's hand. "I've heard so much buzz about this place opening and it's finally happening."

Annie's eyes shifted from Pearline to Smoke as he stood not too far off, in a close conversation with Stack. "Yeah, umm. It's great. I-haven't heard a thing about it though." Annie allowed the vulnerability to slip into her tone.

Pearline stood straighter, frowning. "You ain't know your man and his twin were opening a club?"

Once again, Annie felt like an outsider in Smoke's world. "Nope." Her lips popped as she returned her eyes to Pearline. "No biggie though."

Pearline's shoulders bounced. "Well, you're here and I saw you two walk in arm and arm. Don't let these hoes shake you. That man loves you down." Before Annie could say more, Pearline walked away.

A task. One presenting itself to be impossible. Each time a woman approached him, seductive eyes and intimate gestures, Annie's pulse quickened. Jealously danced in her gut, unapologetic twist and turns as she struggled to keep the rage from her expression. These emotions although new, were perpetual, undeniably draconian.

How does he do this so effortlessly?

Smoke's ability to unravel her both emotionally and physically deserves a prolific dissertation. Someone...anyone would sit through it, take notes and somehow use it to heal the world or set it on fire. She'd die peacefully as a sacrifice, not wanting anything else.

Rudely, her thoughts were interrupted by the sight of yet another woman approaching Smoke. Annie's eyes took in the deep plunge in her dress, coupled with a slit that left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Manicured fingers curled around his wrist before she leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek. She wasn't the first woman to kiss him tonight and Annie knew she wouldn't be the last.

She couldn't stomach it.

"Fuck this." She grabbed her purse from the table, snapping it close before she started towards the door. The moment she began to move, she knew he was following her, yet she didn't stop in her stride to the exit.

Smoke cut in front of her, gently grabbing her arm before turning her to him. Intense eyes hit her as smoke from his cigar lingered between them like words unspoken. His gaze was centered on her as she shifted her weight in her stance. He stepped closer to her, invading her personal space like it was his to do with as he pleased. His hands moved from her arm to her waist, a gesture of intimacy that didn't hit her the way it usually did.

"Another hour or so before we can go." Smoke stepped closer to her, pulling her into a quick kiss as Annie struggled with returning his passion. Smoke instantly frowned. "Talk to me."

"I was gonnna call a Lyft. I'm a little tired."

He nodded. "Aight. Let me grab my shit and we can go."

"No." Annie grabbed him before he could move. "You should stay with Stack, you know he functions better with you in close proximity."

Smoke's brows touched. "You wanna leave alone?"

"It's a short ride..."

"You going to check on ol' boy?" His brow lifted, eyes hard and focused. Such a contradiction to the loud and loose club goers surrounding them. Loose tension moved between them, silently brewing as their eyes had a standoff.

"No." Annie answered finally. "I'm going home."

"To him?" Smoke refused to allow her to leave without real answers.

"No." Annie groaned. "I'm actually just sick of seeing bitches in your face. I need a break."

Smoke's jaw clenched. "I just had my face between you legs for eight hours, Annie. I plan to put your pussy right back in my face when we leave here." Smoke looked around, confused by her words. "I've been licking my lips so much they're chapped because I can still taste you on my tongue. Your juices still linger in my beard and I ain't doing shit to get rid of them because that's where they belong." He stepped into her, forcing her against the wall. "What bitches are you referring to, my love?"

.....

Friday, I swear! On momma grave! - Stack Moore 🥰

[reiderwriter]

hi i love your writing

could you do something with reid loving that reader is pregnant. fluff or smut or both

A/N Hello! Thanks for the request! Dad!Spencer is the cutest thing on the planet so this is some unapologetic fluff. And now I have baby fever.

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, idiots in love. Loosely based on Haley and Hotch's conversation in 1x1. Very fluffy and probably very cheesy and sentimental too... Sorry, you give me girl dad Spencer and suddenly there isn't an impure thought in my head, I just want to lovingly stare at him like I'm the dead wife in an action movie montage.

My requests are open, check out my masterlist for more 🌸

“Okay, what about Amelia?”

“No, Amelia Dyer, Victorian serial killer. She killed multiple infants over a thirty-year period.”

“Okay, okay, how about, Myra?”

“Myra Hindley, she and her partner Ian Brady abducted and killed five children and teens in the early sixties.”

“God, not that then. There can’t be a psychopathic murderer called Belle, right?”

“You’re making this too easy for me, y’know. Belle Gunness, Hell’s Belle, she’s one of the most prolific female serial killers of all time, even 100 years after her supposed death. It’s fascinating, you know, people think that she actually faked her death - when the doctor who performed the postmortem testified, he noted that the cadaver was about five inches shorter and about fifty pounds lighter than Gunness supposedly was….” You raise a single eyebrow at your wonderful husband, and he immediately shuts up.

“I’m rambling aren’t I?” He smiled down at you as you sat curled up as much as you could in your favorite spot on the couch, the cosiest part of your shared apartment. You smiled back up at him as he leaned down for a kiss and you gladly craned your neck up in response, meeting his lips for a sweet moment.

“Hotch was right you know,” you joked when the two of you parted. “All of the best baby names have been taken by serial killers.”

“Yeah, you’d think with the ratio of female to male serial killers, a girl would be easier to name.” He leans down to kiss you again before falling into a crouch next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and placing his hand on your stomach.

“How big did you say our little girl is now?”

“Y/N, you asked me that half an hour ago. I know pregnancy messes with your brain a bit, but if you’re that bad we’re going to have to get you back to Dr Patel and see if you’re doing okay.” He was joking of course, but you showed him your little pout anyway, knowing that he loved seeing the silly expression on your face.

“Humor me, Doctor.” He strokes your stomach and moves away, but not too far away, taking up right next to you on the couch, and pulling your legs over his lap.

“At five months, she’s roughly 10 inches long with a weight of about 0.5-1 pound. But that ‘How Big is My Baby’ book would say that she’s roughly one banana in length.” You giggled up at him and he grabbed your hand and just held it, content to have you in his arms in any way, big or small.

“I can’t believe it’s been five months already,” you giggle as he presses another kiss to your hand.

“I get it. It doesn’t feel quite real yet to me, either. I thought for so long that fatherhood just wasn’t in my future, but you’re the gift that keeps on giving I guess. I don't know what I did to deserve you.” Even if the words weren’t so sweet, with all of the hormones, you would’ve started crying at anything. Or at least that’s what you’re going to tell him when he sees the small tears threatening to drop into enormous loving sobs.

“Spencer Reid, I am not a gift. I am simply the woman with the correct combination of sense and foolish luck that got to marry you.” He’d done this before, and you were used to his small habit of self-deprecating talk, but after a year of marriage and three years of dating before that, you’d managed to work him down to the occasional comment.

“Don’t try to argue about this, I’m definitely the one benefitting the most from the situation right now,” he joked with you, and you could see the genuine adoration shining from behind his eyes. It was a little spark that not many got to see, a glimpse of true happiness in someone usually so reserved.

“Spencer, you’ve given me foot rubs everyday this week, you’ve read more pregnancy and parenting books than every OBGYN and midwife in the area combined, and you’ve somehow attended more of my clinical check-ups than me, and I’m the one whose pregnant.”

“And you’re growing our child inside of you, which is itself more impressive than anything I could ever do with a book and some modern acts of chivalry.”

“Yeah, tell your boss that. I think the only thing keeping Emily from pulling her hair out over your constant absences is that she thinks she’s competing for the title of godmother. She thinks Penelope and JJ are trying to corrupt me with parenting advice and all those baby clothes Pen keeps bringing over.”

“She’s going to be crushed when she remembers we’re not religious, right?”

“Devastated,” the two of you shared a laugh on the couch, and it quickly devolved into a giggle fit after Spencer leaned over and tickled your side. You jolted away from his touch, but he was on you again, attacking your sides with small caresses, and you were gasping for breath between laughs.

“Spence stop- ahh!” Your squeals stopped as you cried out in shock. It was small but you felt something tap against your stomach. Spencer stopped immediately upon seeing your expression change, and a serious look settled on him as he assessed you for any damage.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you in pain anywhere, is the baby okay?” He shot out the questions rapidly, one after the other, barely leaving space to catch his own breath from the laughter of earlier.

It happened again and you put a hand to your stomach, finally realising what’s going on.

“I think I just felt her kick. Spencer, I think I just felt the baby kick.” You couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across your face, as much as you couldn’t help the tear that dropped from your eye as your hand rested against your belly again, scared to move for fear that the baby wouldn’t communicate with you again.

“What? Now? Can I- Can I try and feel it, too?” His hands hesitated at first but when you enthusiastically nodded and used your other hand to put him close to yours, you could feel his eagerness to feel the small kicks of your daughter as well.

Almost as if she was waiting for him, as soon as his hand was in the right position, your little girl kicked again, almost as if screaming “I’m here mommy and daddy,” for the two of you to hear.

“I think she’s trying to tell us not to have fun without her,” Reid whispered in your ear, kissing your tear streaked cheek, and using his free hand to rub them away from the other side of your face.

“I am so thankful everyday for this gift you have given me. And for the record, the gift isn’t the baby. The gift is the overwhelming happiness you bring to my life, and the beauty you make me see in this world. The fact that you’re going to be the mother of my child gives me the confidence to get up and go to work every morning because I know that there is joy and there is kindness and there are beautiful people in this world, and you are one, and she will be, too.”

His attempts to dry your tears are now completely vanquished as you let your emotions run wild, but you almost laugh when you realise that his eyes are just as glassy as yours, and you both sit there, overwhelmed by the pure, unadulterated joy that a small kick from a child who has yet to be given a name has bought you.

[curiouspupsicle]

Good Omens Fan Fiction Friday (4/25/25) - Sexy Moments (that aren't explicit)

A glance. A touch. A breath. Sometimes the sexiest moments appear perfectly innocent--on the surface. These fics might just convince you that the sexiest moments aren't always explicit.

(please, only 18+ below)

Recently I remembered something that may explain why I don't find Explicit fics as sexy as many people seem to.

One of my first jobs out of college was for a doctor running clinical trials of experimental drug treatments for people living with AIDs (yes, I'm old; be thankful if you're young enough to only know about the AIDS/HIV crisis by reading about it).

She assigned me the task of editing a safer sex manual. Are you surprised to know I would never curse anyone with the hell of sitting across a desk from your boss discussing the importance of proper nail care before engaging in anal fisting?

So, yeah. that could be one reason I prefer subtlety when describing intimate moments in fics. Luckily, there are some gifted writers who create very sensual scenes that aren't explicit.

(Note that some of these fics are rated E; but the moments I'm highlighting are not.)

Let's start with @hermiola's Growing on Me (M), containing the scene that inspired this category. Crowley is a fading rockstar struggling to complete an album. Aziraphale is the writer he's paired with to finish the lyrics at a remote retreat on the Isle of Skye.

The bicker/flirting is delicious. The seduction competition is teasing. But the sex appeal ramps up to 11 with Crowley singing the Clash's Should I Stay Or Should I Go at the local pub in chapter 7. And Aziraphale isn't the only one in the audience affected.

Prolific fic writer AppleSeeds wrote a sexy manicure in Eden Nails (T). Aziraphale gets his nails done by Crowley at the new shop in the neighborhood. This fic is nearly all manicure. It's beautifully written and very sensual.

Next up is Feast (E) by @ashfae and @mostlyjustgoose. Aziraphale is lonely while Crowley sleeps through the Covid lockdown. So he plans a magnificent dinner for the pair to catch up--a truly seductive meal.

"Not just dinner, his pounding pulse sings. This will be a temptation worthy of a Serpent, with meaning in every bite. An invitation in flavours, a message written directly onto a forked tongue. His whole life he’s been a half-baked hedonist—enjoying only the pleasures he knows he can get away with—but he has centuries’ worth of meals and secret thoughts to draw on for inspiration, and now there’s a wild absence of fear in him."

It's filled with temptation and double entendres. And yes, it does end by earning the Explicit rating. But it's a sexy slow burn to get there.

@addledmongoose's My Heart Was Always Yours (M) is a creative tale in which Aziraphale and Crowley do not know each other. Hell assigns Crowley to recover Raphael's trumpet needed to start the Second Coming. And Heaven wants Aziraphale to do the same.

To provide cover, Aziraphale asks a "human" (Crowley) to pose as his spouse at the sale. Of course, Crowley thinks Aziraphale is human too.

In chapter 20, the pair start to confront the feelings that have developed between them without either of them realizing the other isn't human (see, I told you it was fun). It leads to a very sexy scene that ends with this:

"I flicked a forked tongue against the skin, letting the scent of his aftershave and cologne fill my lungs. He was panting, murmuring my name under his breath, and I very nearly forgot where I was until the lift dinged.

I immediately straightened and turned to face the exit. Aziraphale lurched upright with a startled choke. The doors opened, and I smiled politely at the elderly man waiting to enter. His gaze danced between the two of us, and he snorted a knowing laugh.

I stepped out and looked back. “Coming, angel?” I asked, just as sweetly as he’d spoken to me moments ago. If my voice was a little raspy and my face flushed, it was nothing compared to how debauched Aziraphale looked.

"Looks like he was pretty close," the elderly man said under his breath."

A sexy scene that makes me laugh? Yes, please.

Oh, Billy Brown (E) by mostlyineffable/Quintissentialnutcase won't be a good pick for everyone--mind the tags. But this fic based on the song by MIKA is sensitively written and a good read.

It makes this list for the end of chapter 4 which includes a conversation between Aziraphale and Crowley at the pub. It incorporates the vulnerability of the pair with the powerful attraction, making a scene that is believable and sexy.

Thanks to @stupidphototricks for recommending this one to me. I probably would have passed it by due to the tags without you highlighting it.

This is getting long so I think I'll end with one of my favorite fics, Among the Stacks (NR) by @rhosmeinir. Yep, I've recommended it before. And I'll recommend it again. You can't stop me! Bwahahahaha!

But seriously, it's just that good. And it makes the list for Azrariah and Crowley's kisses in front of the fireplace in chapter 14. The scene is so tender. And yes, sexy.

Did you like this theme? Do you enjoy a good sexy (but not explicit) moment in a fic? If so, let me know by reblogging and commenting and I'll revisit this theme in a future post.

I'll be back next Friday with more great Good Omens fan fics on a new theme. In the meantime, check out my other favorite fics on this pinned post of weekly Good Omens fan fiction recommendations. And if my faves appear to be your faves, check out my bookmarks on AO3--all the fics I rate in my top 10% of everything I've read.

Don't forget--always thank fic writers with kudos and comments. They give us such wonderful gifts and it's appropriate to show our appreciation for all their hard work.

[suzukiblu]

You know I have come to the realization that this is a thing on which I would like to be clear, as a reasonably prolific writer of fanfic with a range of readers who all have very different levels of familiarity with the various canons I have dabbled in: I love a lot of things about [ insert canon here ] and I definitely DO have certain personal pet peeves in regards to "yeah this person definitely didn't read/watch/even-briefly-skim anything outside of fandom" interpretations that I find particularly slanderous or are just Not My Vibe or things like that which I personally just can't get into or enjoy. Like, things that are just not to my taste, you know?

But also, fuck it, canon is a suggestion and fandom's only actual "rules" are "try not to be an entitled prick or actively hateful", as far as I'm concerned. No, no one has to do the homework just to write/draw/meta/post about something they're getting something out of. I personally am too dang old to do any more of the homework than I want to and I am sure as heck not gonna hold anyone else to that standard either.

Imo there is just no reason whatsoever to ever be upset about MORE people getting involved in the fun thing and enjoying themselves with it, especially when we can all zero-effort back-button out of anything we don’t like. I don't care if they're wrong about [ insert character here ]!! I mean, I do, I very much do, it makes my 'tisms personally insane, but unless someone's wrong in like a hateful/sexist/racist/bigoted way, that's their business, not anybody else's! Let 'em cook, people! We don't get better content in our fandoms by getting publicly judgy about and way too publicly INVESTED in how other people in it have fun. Actually, all we get that way is LESS content. Like so, so much less.

Look, it's a process, I'm personally still working on it myself. There's def stuff that bothers or pet-peeves me, and stuff I just gotta skate past without engaging. I just think keeping a little more perspective helps, in these situations.

Also, not telling people things like "hey if you don't read literal DECADES' worth of MULTIPLE monthly-release comics and all the relevant crossovers and events/watch every single episode and movie released since the seventies/listen to all the bonus episodes of this already-over-one-hundred-hours podcast, you don't belong here" helps. Also that. Definitely that.

[marikbentusi]

I wasn't interested much in the Gwenpool Fortnite collab (fingerless gloves are a cute tweak), but someone asked on Twitter about "evil future Gwenpool" being labelled "Dark Gwenpool" ingame (which is what I've been calling my fan character variant since 2020):

"Dark" is a very common prefix for evil alter egos, so even if people occasionally mistake my comics for official material, I was certain this was a coincidence. But then the person also casually pointed out that she's called "Dark GwenPool" on Wikipedia. Huh?

No sources cited as far as I can tell. One of the original Gwenpool creators even agreed that "Dark Gwenpool" was never official:

I hunted down the Wikipedia changelog where apparently someone injected all the Dark Gwenpool stuff on 8th of April this year (2024). So maybe someone on the Fortnite team checked Google/Wikipedia instead of making up the name from scratch.

I tried to hunt down the wiki editor for questioning only to find out they are banned for being a sockpuppet account. In fact, that user was such a prolific sockpuppeteer that they've got their own Wikipedia page listing all 164 suspected alts. One of them is called "Batrocfrogg", what kind of canonization assist from beyond the grave is this?!

Since that lead went cold, I looked at the sources the wiki edit gave when talking about the character more generally. Aside from the official comics where she isn't called Dark Gwenpool, we've got:

"Peter Parker & Miles Morales: Spider-Men Double Trouble #2" – evil Gwen just has a cosplay background cameo there, no name drop.

Marvel Duel, a niche F2P mobile card game, where she's an antagonist.

The person who first pointed out to me that "Dark Gwenpool" was also on Wikipedia dug around and found a screenshot that evil Gwen is indeed called "Dark Gwenpool" in Marvel Duel:

Obviously I assume the Marvel Duel devs just made that one up without knowing about my comics. Case closed on that lead! But I'm not sure if the Wiki edit was based on this.

Marvel Duel, if we can still trust its wiki page, only released in eight countries. They are mostly in the UTC+8 time zone. The edit was finished on ~22:00 UTC+0, which would be Tuesday 05:00 AM local time if the editor is from one of those countries themselves. Of course, maybe the person played an emulated/jailbroken version (the game does come in English), watched a foreign Let's Play, or is just a super night owl. None of these are stranger than having 146 sockpuppet accounts. But it also doesn't exactly help the edit's credibility like I had hoped.

I also don't know if Marvel Duel included the name variations "Dark GwenPool" and "Dark Gwen" that the Wiki editor used specifically (in the screencap above she's stylized differently). The editor also called her the "evil alternator future version" tho, so maybe they aren't a stickler for details.

----

But yeah the TL;DR is that "Dark GwenPool" is currently the main name for evil Gwen on Wikipedia with no source cited. Marvel Duel calling her that as well was probably just coincidence. Maybe Fortnite also made it up, or they copied it from Wikipedia, or maybe they copied it from Marvel Duel itself.

I thought it was weird and funny enough to share. 164 sockpuppets. WTF.

[pluckyredhead]

…Sorry if this is a bit weird but do you have any queer romance book recommendations? I ended up finishing the last binding trilogy because you posted about it (you have excellent taste lol) and I’m a bit stuck at the moment with what to read next.

Not weird at all! I absolutely have recs! Also Freya Marske has a brand new book out called Swordcrossed if you want more of her writing. (For people who are not anon: The Last Binding is an Edwardian historical fantasy romance trilogy and it's excellent.)

Okay recs:

KJ Charles: My favorite queer romance author, hands down, and also the most prolific! She's written over 30 queer historical romance novels (and one queer historical mystery), mostly M/M, all historical and set in the UK during various time periods ranging from the 1810s to the 1920s. My two favorite things about her work: 1. It draws very heavily on the history, meaning that her characters never come across like modern people in historical cosplay. And 2. she's great at creating genuine conflict between or around characters. I have read too many romances where everything is uwu softness and nothing hurts but Charles's characters are always either fundamentally divided by politics, class, ethical perspectives, lies, and/or tragic backstories, OR they get along fine but a murderer is trying to kill them, OR, in the best of her books, both.

My favorites are probably The Will Darling Adventures (1920s trilogy all about the same couple fighting a criminal secret society), A Seditious Affair (1810s, a radical firebrand and a Tory government official accidentally fall in love while having extremely kinky sex), An Unnatural Vice (1870s, "spiritualist" con artist and the crusading journalist trying to expose him), and Any Old Diamonds (1890s, The Saddest Boy in the World hires a sexy jewel thief to rob his horrible father, kink ensues), but you can really start anywhere - Think of England is where I jumped on and it's nice because it's more of a standalone (there is a companion book but Think of England comes first). If you liked The Last Binding, you might want to start with her Magpie Lord series because they are also fantasy romance. (Freya Marske is a big KJ Charles fan and it shows, in a good way.)

Allie Therin: Sticking with the fantasy romance angle here for a moment, Therin has a 1920s trilogy called Magic in Manhattan that is all about the same couple, a prickly magic-user named Rory and the big hunky WWI vet who loves him, as they fight various evil magicians. (HUGE oversimplification but you get it.) There's a spinoff trilogy, the Roaring Twenties Magic series, which has two books out so far. I love NYC, the 1920s, fantasy, and queer romance, so obviously I love all of this.

But I'm particularly obsessed with her Sugar and Vice series (also a trilogy, first book is out already and the second one comes out next month) which is set in modern day Seattle and is about an empath named Reece and the super dangerous empath hunter called the Dead Man who may or may not be here to kill Reece, and also there's a serial killer on the loose. This one is a suuuuuuper slow burn (they don't even kiss in the first book!), so you have to be patient but I read the second book early and yeah I'm obsessed and desperate to talk to other people about these books.

Charlie Adhara: More paranormal romance! I wrote about these books at greater length recently, but the short version is: FBI agent gets transferred to the super secret werewolf division of the FBI and partnered with a hot werewolf, they fall in love, spend five books developing into The Ultimate Power Couple, I'm in love with their love. There's a spinoff series called Monster Hunt but only one book is out so far.

TJ Klune: I probably don't have to tell anyone about TJ Klune anymore and I'll admit he can be hit or miss for me but I did really love Wolfsong. As long as we're talking werewolves.

Dessa Lux: Okay these are more erotica than romance but Omega Required is a comfort read for me, which is funny because I'm not usually an omegaverse gal. But this is about a very sweet alpha doctor who offers a marriage of convenience to a very traumatized omega and it's literally just nonstop cuddling and soup. She also has a series that's just ever-growing werewolf gangbangs, if that's a thing you're into. Like. A cartoonish amount of werewolves at the gangbang. It's delightful.

Cat Sebastian: I will admit Sebastian is also a little bit hit or miss for me. I loved her very first trilogy, the Turner series, which is very much in the vein of KJ Charles (Regency romance, class divides, lots of conflict). She wrote some more 19th century stuff after that and then moved into mid-20th century romance (50s-70s) which is honestly very rare. She also basically...stopped writing any conflict at all. I would say a large portion of her books after the Turner series can be accurately described as "two best friends who are secretly in love with each other sit in the same house/apartment and enjoy each other's company until they get together." I know a BUNCH of people who absolutely love that and they are well-written! But I really have to be in the right mood for them.

Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy: Okay I am not a hockey person, but you must, you MUST read Him and its sequel, Us. Hockey-playing BFFs, one is gay and secretly in love with the the other, the other one is like "I don't think I'm into dudes but I'd better give you 300 blowjobs to make sure." (Spoiler: he's into dudes.) Honestly the stupidest men imaginable. I love them so much. Bowen has written a few other queer romances solo and I'm working my way through her back catalog now.

Rachel Reid: Yes it's more hockey romance but. BUT. Heated Rivalry. Two of the top players in the NHL, on rival teams, have famously hated each other for years...and have secretly been fucking since they were rookies. Reid is another one where I'm still working my way through her books but Heated Rivalry is something special.

I am SURE there are more I'm forgetting but this is long so I'll stop it here for now! Also folks should feel free to reblog with further recs, she said selfishly.

[olderthannetfic]

New developments in the ofmd racefaker drama. Posted to bsky earlier today with many of the BIG names resharing it. "heyyyy guys. just letting y'all know an ao3 account has popped up that has all the signs of being Atticus/PCCP. posted a fic with very similar themes, similar writing style, and was created may 11th yet says theyve been "lurking since 2022". but zero bookmarks lmao 😭 don't give him attention. (Photo of supposed ao3 account, 1 work, zero anything else)"

I never read PCCP's stuff, so I honestly couldn't say. I don't think it's possible to 100% confidently ID someone from writing style or themes though? Comments on the bsky thread "Trans Ed who has been horribly abused, isn't really functional and needs Stede to save him and baby him. He loves to load trauma onto Ed and turn Stede into his saviour. Plus his writing is just really distinctive, he was so prolific and his style is so noticeable it just screams that it's him" and "oh, this person Atticus also known as PCCP or pirate_captain_captains_pirates is a known plagiarizer in the fandom and also lied about being a POC for clout, was exposed a couple months ago and now keeps making burner accounts trying to come back" or "it’s hard to boil down exactly what about his writing style is distinctive honestly😭 but beyond the actual words there’s just a lot of signs, i consulted my friends who also knew him before i posted this and we all agreed it had to be him :/" I mean. Maybe? But woobified trans MC is also just, a huge thing in fandom, esp this one.

Does the account look a bit suspicious? Yes. Am I at all comfortable with them getting dogpiled? No. Bsky comments full of people saying it's "suspicious" that the one fic is moderated comments only now, that they deleted comment accusations of being Atticus rather than responding. I'm not sure what to think of that, but I don't like the idea that it's "inherently suspicious" for someone to have moderated comments, especially in a fandom with as much drama and vitriol as this one. Yet people keep saying so, in a very "you wouldn't need privacy unless you have something to hide." Kind of way.

I don't know, maybe I'm just wrong here, but I can't shake the fear that there's some poor random getting the brunt of this shit storm. and I don't know what the right way for a fandom to handle this situation is, but this seems bad to me.

--

Yeah. There's a good chance they're right, but they cannot know that for sure.

[themyscirah]

What runs/stories do you recommend for someone starting WW? Could you please be specific (/nicely)

Yeah ofc!

My Wonder Woman Starter Recs (specific style 😎)

First stops: for an initial introduction to Wonder Woman, I'd generally recommend going to at least one of three places first. These three are:

Wonder Woman: Historia: The Amazons by Kelly Sue DeConnick

Wonder Woman: Year One by Greg Rucka

Wonder Woman: the Hiketeia by Greg Rucka

Of these I generally recommend reading Historia first, as it's a retelling of the origin of the Amazons as a race and how Diana came to be (so it essentially starts from the beginning) and is also the most recent of the them (if that means anything). Something to note about Historia though is that it's a DC Black Label book, so it's events aren't strictly canon in the main DCU and there are some changes and new elements present. I don't think this is something that should discourage anyone from reading it though, it's the best WW origin story out there, and even in strict main canon over the years her origin is one that has had many fluctuations and small (& sometimes big) changes. WW:Historia is three prestige format (longer) issues.

You'll notice the third book there is WW: The Hiketeia. Hiketeia is a great book if you're looking for a view into Diana as a professional and experienced hero. It's a graphic novel so standalone and not too long, and has a great Diana and really interesting plot (Diana vows to protect a young woman and finds herself pressed against the wheels of Greek Tragedy). This is also the first work with Diana done by Greg Rucka, one of her most prolific and loved writers. A sampling of this work (and also Historia) I think gives a good guide to where to go next in terms of runs on her main title.

Wonder Woman: Year One is the second book on the list up there, but I'm mentioning it last here as it's a bit more complicated in terms of format. Unlike other year one books, WW: Year One is actually a series of issues on her main title, showcasing Diana's arrival to man's world in Rebirth (and also current p sure) continuity. The issue numbering for this one is strange (only the even issues 2-14 on WW (2016)) so I recommend looking for this in trade form if possible.

These 3 books I think give a taste of some of the best standalone stuff in the Wonder Woman mythos, and give the reader a good idea of where they may want to go next in terms of longer runs on the title. So I'll break that down here as a Step 2.

STEP 2: WHERE NEXT?

Here I break down some highly recommended runs based on what they have in common with the standalone books from step 1. As a rule, these runs are going to be much longer than the above and generally more connected to the wider DCU and other books. Look for the italics to see the introduction to each new work. Explanation paragraphs follow after each italic/bold rec.

Curious about Greek mythology in WW and the Amazons' origins after reading Historia? Liked the prescence of a supporting cast and Diana learning about Man's World from Year One? Willing to read a longer run? I recommend: Wonder Woman by George Pérez

George Pérez's time on Wonder Woman totally reinvented the character after Crisis on Infinite Earths, and is fundamental in establishing many core concepts of her lore. At 62 issues, 2 annuals, and a 4-issue crossover event at the end (War of the Gods), it's definitely a commitment to read, but it's the most enduring and well-loved run on Wonder Woman for a reason--it's just that damn good. Lots of focus on mythology (although with a lighter tone than Historia) alongside Diana learning her role in relation to Man's World & establishing herself as a hero and ambassador. Pérez's run also has almost-certainly the most expansive and developed supporting cast in WW comics, something that really drives the emotional core of the series, especially in later issues. Obligatory note that this series was written between 1987 and 1992 and contains some very occasional aspects that I thought were in some way dated/uncomfortable etc. while reading (details of Cheetah's origin, depiction of the Bana-Mighdall, Hercules) but despite that I still highly, highly recommend this run. The word fundamental cannot begin to describe it.

Liked the experienced Diana of the Hiketeia? Interested to see her attempt to balance the high stakes responsibilities of an ambassador and superhero? Looking for some really badass moments and fights? Haven't read enough terrible tragedy? I suggest: Wonder Woman by Greg Rucka 2003 EDITION.

Some of Diana's coolest moments of all time are collected here. Also one of her most controversial. The 1st Rucka run is very much the story for anyone who liked the Diana of the Hiketeia and the tragedy of that and Historia. 2003 Rucka Diana is a Diana tested, forced to make decisions that are anything but easy, and live with the consequences. She's extraordinarily capable, but her enemies know that and are prepared to that end. This run, along with the Pérez run, rank among my favorite Wondy comics of all time (those and Historia are my top 3). This run is such peak Diana, especially in terms of sheer badassery. Her final confrontation with Medusa is in my opinion perhaps the greatest Wonder Woman fight scene of all time. Her encounter with Athena in the second-to-last issue breaks me every time. Cannot recommend this book more.

*a note abt this run is that it is more context-dependent than the other ones listed here, as it's the run that finishes out the Wonder Woman vol. 2 book and so has some guest appearances from characters introduced in other prior runs (Artemis of Bana-Mighdall, Cassie Sandsmark, and Vanessa Kapatelis, to name a few). I read this run before knowing much (if anything) about any of them, and still enjoyed it a lot, so I wouldn't be worried about this really but just thought I'd mention it.

Rucka's 2003 run is published from Wonder Woman (1987) #195-226. You can also find it in trade and I believe(?) omnibus. Sometimes the Hiketeia is included in collections of this series, as the 03 run is thematically similar in many places, just with a much deeper look at Diana and the world & with higher stakes.

Liked the specific characters and plot threads of Wonder Woman: Year One? Want to see what happens with Diana's exile, or learn more about Barbara Ann? Want a Diana in between the extremes of young and highly experienced? Wonder Woman by Greg Rucka 2016 EDITION may be for you.

...yes I'm putting ANOTHER Rucka book on here. He writes a great Diana, what can I say. This run is the same one that Year One came out of, just the follow ups to that story and versions of the characters. I have this run listed as separate from Year One though, as there's some really big time skips since the events of that first volume. A lot of time has passed since then, and there's more history between the characters, not all of it without drama. This run continues to be weird with the numbering, as well as some artist changes, so I definitely recommend looking into reading this in trade format (physical or digital) if at all possible. My recommended reading order is WW 2016 by Rucka vol. 2 "The Lies" (Wonder Woman: Rebirth Special #1, followed by 2016 main title odd numbered issues 1-11), then Rucka 16 vol. 3 "The Truth" (odds 13-23) then Godwatch (evens 16 through 24) followed by 25? But The Truth and Godwatch combine near the end so that doesn't really work either. This run is so good but recommending it is such a pain because the numbering is so all over the place. On God I never know which order to read this in. Going to revoke my previous statement and say read it as Rebirth Special 1, then only odds 1 through 11, then from 13 through 25 normally. That may lead to some weirdness as you read because the two stories take place at different times and have different art styles, but they come together at the end pretty dramatically so I think it's less confusing to read it this way? Maybe? So strange bc this is one of the go to good starter runs and yet it's set up so unintuitively. If someone has a better way to read this then let me know and ill edit, ik this explanation is super confusing bc neither way to read it is totally ideal imo and I feel I definitely read it in a weird order.

Going to call that a good rundown of some of my greatest recommendations in terms of Wonder Woman comics. If anything wasn't fully clear here or anyone (not just anon) has questions or wants to talk abt WW comics/my choices feel free to send as many asks or dms as you want. Have a good day everybody, & as Diana says, may the glory of Gaea be with you <3

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.4

It's in the paper that Allen Klein was involved in 40+ lawsuits and John doesn't question it? At this point, I feel like he just didn't want to let Paul be right about anything. 

My question is who did that work on before? I mean who fucking does business like that? Let alone business with the most successful man in the world. 

John's complaining about Paul being too good at his job is both hilarious (what the hell is Paul supposed to do with that) and sad (it shows just how far their musical relationship has degraded from partners to rivals)

How did they lose Northern Songs? Genuinely, if anyone can break it down for me I'd be so grateful. Anyway I'm sure it was devastating for both of them. “Who'd have the children?” “Dick James”. 

I know I'm insane, but can I be allowed to see a glimmer of goodness here? I really do think it's John's kinder side winning out when he decides not to lie. Like, yes, he gets a buzz off of watching Paul go white at his words, but I think he also just – in that moment – didn't have the heart to trick Paul into staying. 

But also. Why are we trying to maneuver Paul at all if the end game is for John to leave? It just doesn't make sense to try to trick Paul into signing the contract unless John's divorce threat is at the very least not meant to be final. 

I will never understand this picture. Even in the emotional state he's in, he's still hamming it up? There is something seriously wrong with this man. 

I do find it interesting that the fact that Paul cried his eyes out after that meeting isn't even mentioned in the doc. I wonder why. 

Let's put the bizarre, super-warped timeline in this quote aside for a minute. Apparently the depression started after Brian died and it lasted for about two years and John was still in it during Pepper. Okay. That aside . . .

I have to assume this negative lense on what I can only assume means the period between 66 and 68 is highly influenced by hindsight bias. I agree that John was depressed at the time, in an unhappy marriage, doing too much LSD, etc and that looking at Paul's prolific talent and expansive , fast-paced life would have been maddening. But everyone go back to the end of part one really quick. He looks extremely happy. He sounds extremely happy. Everyone who knows him says he's never been happier. I think he just can't accept right now that there was so much good and he's lost it. 

“I look from the wings at the play you are staging . . . I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love.”

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Paul explaining why the Beatles just had to break up, obviously, because he and John "didn't marry the same girl." Someone write the fic where John and Paul both marry the same girl. Could be Yoko or Linda. Sister trad wives au. 

Okay, cool, so this means I have full permission to interpret and tin hat about any lyrics I want then, right?

But also. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Paul dumped a bucket of garbage water and punched this person? And are we not mentioning the depression and alcoholism and heroin abuse during this time?

It's so embarrassing how he looks to her for confirmation here. John, they asked you what you think. Just you. Not some complicated definition. Not Yoko's definition. Just your own thoughts.

“I couldn't wait for them to make up their mind about peace or whatever. About committing themselves.” Yeah, John. You sound real committed to peace. Or whatever. Here's a theory that anyone can shoot down if they want: John asked Paul for some kind of commitment (a friendship wedding, a partnership contract, a mutual wanking pledge) in India and Paul was a chicken about it. 

What was that day like, I wonder? I imagine extremely stiff and professional and horrid. But who knows. Maybe it was nice, and maybe that made everything worse.

I will go to my death believing that instant karma was for Paul. 

Do we think John actually did send Paul “about twenty postcards from Denmark” all covered in hearts none of which Paul responded to? Paul could be just as cruel in his lack of reaction as John was in his over reaction.

I'm sorry but that is not what a man says when he's just lying to the press to buy time for business. That's what a man says to the press when he's trying desperately to communicate with someone who he can't get through to any other way. 

But really, I just don't understand why the creator chose to minimize Paul's emotional response to John's divorce statement. If we don't see him bawling his eyes out and losing the will to live, he comes off like a self-assured, uncaring, jerk. Which. To be fair. John didn't see those things, and that is exactly what John thought of Paul during this time. But still. The audience now comes away from this doc with a skewed view. 

All we get is Paul being pissed off about Phil Spector butchering Let it Be without his consent and John and George trying to change McCartney's release date without his consent. Which are both a) understandable and b) strong, male, angry reactions. Making this section portray Paul in the same one-dimensional hyper-masculine way that John so often is. Which isn't my favorite. But hey, it's my only complaint about this doc so far.

Anyway, update: I won't be able to do part three until it gets reuploaded, so we're on hiatus for this project for the time being.

[officialnostradamus]

This is an Ao3 engagement whine, please feel free to skip it.

Okay, I am SORRY because I legitimately feel so silly and whiny even talking about this. Please insert the appropriate prerequisite “write for yourself, being creative is always worthwhile, interactions don't make the work”, those things are true but, also, humans are social creatures and creation is a bid for connection. AND I'm whiny. Two things can be true - three even!

Dude, I'm legitimately pretty proud of Falling Fearless (it's a lame title, okay, and now I have to look at it all the time. Names are always hard and it’s too late.). I'm not super prolific but 11 pretty solid chapters, fairly steady output, and yeah okay, it's fanfiction. I'm writing what I like, so it stands to reason I like it, lol. It's all like a decent personal achievement for me! Also, technically, think it's “doing okay”, I'm writing m/m in a generally low popularity arena, so…

It's mostly just the comments thing I'm pulling my hair out about. I know it's common, plenty of people don't comment, but the comparative numbers are rough and it does sort of make me feel like I am specifically doing something to dissuade commenting. I just want to talk about it with literally anyone. It's a lot of time and energy put into something I enjoy, yes, but that I also sincerely hope others enjoy. I also know it shouldn't matter, but it sort of does? I mean, a little, at least? Except that it also makes me an adult on the internet complaining that not enough people want to play in my sandbox and that’s goofy as hell.

Bonus, because we've talked about it, the reasonable reasons my wife thinks engagement feels low: 

Not enough ✨️drama✨️, they're too sweet and people mostly comment when scared and/or angry.

Slow burn too slow? The people want smut!

Shorter chapters more frequently is more digestible.

Vs. me:

I am ✨️personally unapproachable✨️

Writing boring :[ writing bad :[

I've been cursed by a warlock to be permanently uninteresting

Which does speak to how my brain handles everything in a very rational and nuanced way.

If this were twitter I'd do the this is embarrassing, might delete later but, this is tumblr, and our humiliation is eternal.

[sometimesoliloquy]

The Handmaid’s Tale 6x02 - “Exile” (or "Yeah, Yeah, We Knew They'd Be Back")👀

Damned if this show doesn't have a tight stranglehold on my brain, here I still have to file my taxes and a million other things and keep blowing them off to ramble on more about June and Nick and the Gilead gang instead. So sue me, the story is just so much more interesting than 1099's and laundry! Anyway.

Note: for this recap (as with 6x01) I've largely consolidated plotlines by character/location/plot chronology in favor of how scenes are presented chronologically in the episode. Obviously the editing/placement of scenes is an important part of the experience of watching the show but this just helps me keep my thoughts better organized and hopefully be a little (maybe tiny bit) more concise lol. Not sure this will stay consistent, may depend on the episode. As always, screencap & captions are my own.

The opening of the episode "Exile" presents like the prologue of a gorgeously dark fairytale in the the nighttime woods, with floating leaves that almost looks like tiny glowing orbs of light. I'm just waiting for an ethereal voice to start narrating "Once upon a time", but the only thing we hear aside from the fairytale prologue score is the creature sounds of the forest, the rustling of the wind and the increasingly distant train engine as it travels far into the west, leaving us behind. Then, a baby cries. A woman breathes in pain. The exiled queen and her little prince Serena and Noah have, perhaps  miraculously, survived the jump/fall (helpful push, no?) from the train intact and uninjured (although Serena does seem to be limping a tad?) and of COURSE the first building they come upon in this wilderness is a freaking church, just so Serena gets to continue feeling justified in her faith that she is God's very favorite special child. Unfortunately, though, the church seems to be locked up tight so there go Serena Joy's romantic fantasies of dramatically throwing the doors open, yelling “SANCTUARY!” (just me?). Fortunately, they are come upon by a woman just heading out, who hears them and asks if help is needed. Serena awakes in the car to daylight, having arrived at her sanctuary in the form of a religious faith-based farm cult community they call Canaan, "still in Canada", we are reassured. Honestly it's really a bit hard to tell at first if they are Gilead-religious or just “regular” religious (props to Gilead I guess for by comparison making even some of the more wacky extremist religious groups irl look, idk, pretty chill actually?) The leader, Abigail, seems to know there's something more to "Rachael's" story (really Serena? Subtle as ever), but still she warmly welcomes the newcomers into their women-and-children only community. I mean Serena does infer she’s not a “regular refugee” (I’m a cool refugee) so I guess there's that.

In Alaska, we are treated to another super sweet “let me be your mirror" parallel/callback, this time with granny Holly singing to baby Holly, as June slowly rouses (ostensibly the morning after arriving). Holly immediately clocks that her granddaughter is SO smart (a little genius!), bittersweetly calling to mind Nick's words way back in season 2 (nah, she's too smart, like her mom). June doesn't want her handmaid ear tag out (not until all the handmaids are free) but she will take some pancakes (another Osborne tradition/callback). June and her mom catch up about what has happened: where they've been and how they survived. It would seem like Holly WAS the "doctor who gave a shit" at the liberated agricultural colony the refugee on the train was talking about... except that the timeline seems off: Holly says her colony was freed 6 months ago and I swore the woman on the train said for her it was just one month, so perhaps it's just a coincidence. Regardless, it is good to know the army may be fairly prolific in liberating multiple colonies (although this also does seem to call into question somewhat Mark's statement that their military is essentially fully depleted?). Anyway. June recounts her and Hannah's harrowing capture and her current state "She's healthy and so, so beautiful. And I've really tried to save her, I really tried to get her out." And then, heartbreakingly, "But the last time I saw her... she didn't remember me..." Holly is oh so gentle and empathetic in this scene, and June gets some long-awaited comfort and validation (that she never thought she'd be able to get) from her mother, who tells her "oh you are tough" and that she knew June would survive (it was what kept her going) *sob*.

(Holly squared💕)

Luke is being freed from jail and god does this show love a cool shot of puzzle-like stairs or what?--as he descends (interestingly) his way to freedom (for now at least). Mark has gotten him out on bail but it seems he's still some long months away from a trial. At least he finds out that the train with June and Nichole made it safely to Alaska, but he's still on the very verge of LOSING it given everything going on--namely his arrest from defending June from the murder attempt, and importantly, Hannah still being trapped in Gilead and inching ever  closer to "marriageability" age. Now there are some that may say to Luke's raging "she's getting older EVERY DAY" that, well Luke, she hasn't been frozen in time before, she's has actually been getting older every day for the last 7 years now and it hasn't seemed that urgent to you til now,  but to that I would say... actually nothing, because that would be accurate. Still I suppose that maybe somehow the urgency didn't hit him as hard until he saw her in purple and June freak out about the purple, or that until June came home wanting to fight and make Gilead pay he didn't realize there was any other way of fighting back besides going to the overworked overwhelmed embassy saying "a little help please?" But now that I'm reading this back it doesn't sound like a great excuse either. Listen, IDK what does on in the man's head but he is clearly just a ball of rage and nerves right now so when Moira lets it slip that "Mayday is doing something" he spits out "I'm in" with nary a question asked (really, I think there should have been at least one or two questions, Luke). As Moira says "you don't even know what that means" which again he blows off but we shall see there may be consequences later.

Back in good old Gilead, Commander Lawrence has maintained his same signature snarky brand of humor since we last saw him but also, my goodness, is he also not downright jolly(?) this season? (and praise be, the fun neck cravats are back!) At first blush one might say it must be the influence of his new bride and the honeymoon period but no, it seems the imminent success of launching his pet project NB to the world is what has him in such high spirits, even in spite of having to endure Naomi's expedited and determined efforts to fully redecorate his haunted gothic mansion. (I have a confession:  I realized I am actually both these toxic people in the relationship, 1. "but it's ugly and it's ruining the room! AND variably also 2. I have this room to keep my things in! All the things! None of my things are ugly though of course!). This odd couple dynamic is great fun to watch and as finally an official series regular this season, Ever Carradine's fantastic comedic leaning into Naomi's newly wedded "bliss" (and later her on-and-off rivalry with Serena) was a real bright spot of levity for me here.

As Nick retraces the steps of his epic wedding reception punch and to his great amusement comes upon the happy honeymooners' little lovers' spat, Lawrence greets him with a … "hey Champ" (lol) and takes the excuse to withdraw to the study for a boys chat (but not before reminding his bride "don't touch these, please!.... “I’m a… commander”. But Lawrence hasn't safely escaped the disrespect yet because as he implores the younger commander "I didn't have anything to do with (the attempt on June's life), you believe me?" Nick hits back with a smirk:"I don’t believe you have the power or the capability" OH SNAP. Again, the sass at peak levels, season 6 Nick does NOT give a fuck anymore and I’m here for it. Just full of snark and (sexual) frustration. Our boy, fuck yes. Daddy Wharton suddenly joins them and commences a congratulatory chat on New Bethlehem, which so far seems to be a great success due to bougie-ass commanders loving their foreign cars and Rolexes or somesuch. Sure, I guess that tracks (but I think at lot of them have still got to be nervous their favorite toys--the handmaids, of course--could be taken away if NB reform becomes to popular and spreads, which is as WE know of course, Lawrence's whole long-term plan). Wharton wants to know where Mrs. Waterford fits into this (who, Serena??) and Lawrence has to divert with some vague excuse of postpartum "lady stuff" to obscure the fact that he actually has no idea where she is--Side note: "The Wheelers turned out to be...problematic" cracked me up. You mean, operating exactly like every single wife and commander couple in Gilead who's ever had a handmaid or stolen someone else's child to raise? Problematic like that?--Well, Wharton thinks they would want her there for diplomatic visits--and at this moment baby Angela performs the most adorable jump scare "No!" (apparently she doesn't have the highest opinion of Serena Lol) and (grand)Daddy Wharton kindly spirits her off to find her "mom". Lawrence confirms that yes, he will jump just as high as the high commander asks him to so he asks Nick to have the Eyes track down the former Mrs. Waterford, despite Nick being quite reluctant and generally agreeing with Angela--he's like, fuck, Serena? Really? Can we just not and say we did??--Either Nick, like June, also has a weird undeserved soft spot for his former mistress (and lest we forget, his rapist as well) or he just really doesn't want to deal with her again (and who could blame him for the latter).

(what, is this a bad time?)

Sorry but I've just gotta say, Mark is definitely getting desperate if he's sending this current antsy, agitated version of Luke in to do important rebel spy work... I get that he's restless waiting for his trial, worrying about Hannah and missing June and Nichole, but seriously this man needs to try and meditate or something. Maybe, you know, do some training and mental work to try and be at least somewhat prepared for what he's getting himself (and Moira) into. At least Moira's got a little bit of subterfuge experience under her belt even if it's been a while (solo at that). And Moira of course can make her own decisions but I'd certainly be worried if this was the mental state my mission partner was in--his twitchy impatience is really giving me anxiety. And him telling Moira "don’t say anything about what we’re doing (to June) ok?" WTF, Luke this isn’t a fucking surprise birthday party you're planning, she needs and moreover deserves to know what your unqualified ass is doing ffs!! After everything she's lost and survived and what you both have been through the last few seasons you're really going to go all I know what's best for June again and keep this from her--ostensibly either to keep her from being mad (at least in this moment) or to "save her from herself" in case she would (rightly, as it seems) panic and leave her current safety in Alaska (which, SPOILER ALERT) she's gonna have to do anyway? He knows it's wrong too by the guilty look on his face as they hang up. Apparently he's just so completely confident (for no historical reason, mind you) that he'll pull off this mission flawlessly and be back before she noticed he was gone. But of course instead, just leaves her to blindly worry. Really, after all of Luke's self-absorbed whining in s4 about June "choosing" to stay in Gilead instead of "return to him", and after Moira spending most of s4/5 treating June as a reckless liability I find it insanely hypocritical they didn't tell her about the mission, instead leaving her to grow increasingly more worried when she can't get ahold of them on the phone. I mean it's not exactly as if June could have rung them up when she was on the run in Gilead, but they certainly had that chance and decided (seemingly on Luke's lead) to leave her in the dark. On a happy note, during this first phone call June gets the relief that Luke's out of jail for now, and the joyful opportunity to break the news of her and Holly's incredible reunion, putting her mom on the phone to say hi (Rita's reaction never having met Holly was adorably endearing, I half expected her to blurt out "I love you!" too).

TWO MONTHS LATER--

Our two female protagonists seem to be a bit more settled in to their new digs, with June still kicking it in Alaska with Mom Holly and the adorable baby Nichole/Holly, meanwhile Serena's picks tomatoes on the commune with (a pretty cute as well) baby Noah. The gardening causes her to flash back to distant pre-Gilead times with her father, a seemingly kindly but ostensibly right-wing preacher who approves of the type of views ("a new eden") that Serena outlined in her book and became the blueprints for Gilead itself. Sadly, Papa Joy also seems to have Parkinsons, although he seems spry enough as he herds her off to find some lemonade and gossip about her new boyfriend, FRED (hoo boy!).

At first I'm not really sure what the purpose of Serena’s daddy flashback is besides try to give her more humanity and tug on our heartstrings--I mean after meeting Serena's mom in s3 clearly her dad was the "nurturing" parent and she likely didn't get much parental warmth after he died. There does seems to be a real ongoing theme this episode of parental relationships. There is also some irony in her wanting to create Gilead (a “new garden of Eden”) for her dad and then was so busy making it happen that she may have missed out on the last good days she would have with him. Maybe it's mainly to show Serena finally looking back on her role in the rise of Gilead in perhaps (dare I say it) a somewhat self-reflective way? And then of course we have the commune leader reveal she’s always known who Serena was and does not seem to approve (although thankfully for Serena, unlike the train goers has decided to offer her some grace)... Perhaps it is Abigail's faith that leads her towards extreme forgiveness as Serena admits "It (Gilead) all went wrong" and she gently chides back, “all by itself..?” Lol

Enter… Commander Lawrence (good day, Joseph) of course, pulling up in his shiny car with a shiny new quip (or two). And of course, the new “Mrs. Lawrence”, as she smugly corrects Serena LOL. I guess she just couldn't bear to be apart from her new hubs. Lawrence asks Serena for a little stroll to give her his best pitch (and mea culpa): seems there is a place for her in Gilead after all (or Gilead 2.0 at least). Serena plays coy and hard to get ("Men make a mess of things”, after all--which I generally agree with but she does a pretty good job of that all by herself as well). But I think we all know where this is going (as Lawrence counters “You’re bored out of your mind”--which I also have to concur he has a point). Even without the threat of the Eyes and the baby-snatching wanna-be Wheelers, I have a hard time believing that Serena’s ego and ambition would ever really forgo this opportunity to play Gilead’s (or New Bethlehem’s) Sweetheart, in favor of quietly and anonymously living out her days as a farmer trad wife without a husband in this religious reenvisioning of "Herland". Symbolically, Serena has been sheltered in this garden of Eden of sorts; offered a new kind of peace and penance, but she's now tempted by the snake (Lawrence) holding out the apple that is NB and her “special role” in it, and really it's only a matter of time before she caves.

Listen, I still contend the 5x03 post funeral repast at Lawrence’s house where Mackenzie casually spoke of assassinating June over mashed potatoes while Nick desperately tried to control his face in front of his wife and colleagues was The Most Awkward Dinner Party Ever, but this one has to come in close second. "I’m more of a pray in silence kinda guy" Lawrence quips (seriously how has this man survived in Gilead for this long, they must really really admire him for his mind or they are really just that stupid) and their second choice Naomi comically flubs it (she must have failed grace at wife school). Luckily Serena Joy is there to take over and she just can’t miss the chance to upstage poor Naomi. She is. That. Bitch. (God Ever is fucking funny though). The very picture of smug self-satisfied piousness, Serena effortlessly rattles off a prayer that is very clearly, all about her. Some key words? “Justified” (yes, check--she loves that one), “glorified” (check--glory??  even better!) And upon finishing with a triumphant “and he will bring us back from exile!” Serena knows that yes, in fact she WILL be going back to Gilead, and she’s gonna be a STAR (more false piety and humility etc. etc. because GOD HAS A PLAN etc.). She is on the same plane as Moses and Elijah and Noah and will heal this broken world, goddamnit. I’m a little surprised she didn’t throw Jesus in the mix there too but then again we know the Gileadeans love their Old Testie the very bestie!

(it's me, hi, I'm the savior, it's me)

Back in Gilead, it's another season/another ominous father figure fireside chat for Nick. And uh oh, Daddy Wharton seems to know all about Nick’s daddy issues (is that in Nick's permanent Gilead record or has he actually been vulnerable enough in the "better times" to share his past with Rose, who has now shared with her father??). And then shits on his mom for having been a working parent. Rude, sir! Poor Nick, we knew his dad was not a good provider or support system from his s1 flashback but just how “difficult” was he? Wharton continues: "Waterford, Lawrence. You’ve let these men come into your life and guide you”(and here I just want to point out, more like he "guided" Fred into his early grave if ya know what I mean... the omission of Pryce here is also striking but then I guess that relationship was well on the hush hush given the secrecy of his Eye status)… and now apparently it’s Daddy W’s turn and I am more scared for our boy than ever. Nick says he was never confused about these men's role in his life but I just have to hope he doesn't let himself get confused with Wharton, who just may be the slickest of them all (not a hard bar to beat with Fred at least). "You’ll be a father yourself soon" he says, ironically echoing similar words from the ghost of Fred (and again to that I say um EXCUSE ME SIR, HE'S ALREADY HOLLY/NICHOLE’S FATHER THANK YOU) and harps once again on good choices and high potential, and once again I really do not think that his idea of these things for Nick mesh with mine (also, NOooo he did NOT call Nick "son", I am cringing at yet more involuntary Fred flashbacks). I believe we are getting subtle signs that Nick is more stressed/affected by his father in laws words than he would like to admit, as he seems to be drinking more than we’ve ever seen(?). Whether because he is moved by the speech or more likely just more wary than ever due to the scrutiny he's under, he throws Mark Tuello's spy sim card into the fire then sits back down to do some more sexy brooding and perhaps think wait, fuck what did I just do? And then becomes a Dark Sith Lord (just kidding, you might not know it from the score and the lighting though so that was a pretty neat trick). It's the sudden switch to slow motion as the camera rotates and the music begins to distort that REALLY gives the feeling of an ominous shift happening, as Nick's face is slowly consumed by the shadows.

(shit, guess I better remember to pick up my hooded cloak at the dry cleaners tomorrow)

Meanwhile, June is trying to get hold of Luke (again) SERIOUSLY DOES THE MAN NOT REALIZE HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS TO MAKE A PHONE CALL HERE, THEY HAVE TOLD HIM THIS FFS! Just how long did she have to wait in that super long phone line just to get the answering machine? Just rude. We can see her trying to stay calm but she's clearly getting concerned. Finally, desperate with worry after what has to be weeks of no reply, she cuts the phone call line again and this time dials Mark. She gets through and he must waste no time in telling her that weeelll, there may have been just one little thing Luke didn’t tell her and now something has gone wrong best and her best friend and husband are stuck in imminent danger while she's stuck in Alaska (or is she, we'll see about that!).

“MAYday??” Holly exclaims back in the house (he did WHAT now??) I know, Holly I know. She is incredulous that June seems to be jumping up to head back in "you're not a spy, you're not a soldier!" which really kind of just undercuts how much of June's story since Gilead Holly has yet to learn lol. “Ehhh you don’t really know how much of a badass bitch your daughter is now what I’ve done, Mom”.  

June adds that "there's a commander" working for the Americans, who has gone dark but "he'll respond to me". Holly gives a knowing look, immediately clocking that this is Nichole's father, but incorrectly assuming he was "June's commander" and June merely "did what she had to do". June's amendment that he was the driver at her commander's house does not bring much comfort though and Holly's distrust only seems to deepen. Her math: the drivers are Eyes; Eyes are all bad. All monsters. Not to be trusted. And could be setting a trap to get Nichole. June fiercely denies this characterization of Nick "No, not him. He loves Nichole". The irony is that now that June wants to step up and fight "it's what you taught me!", Holly just wants June safe. “I was wrong! I lost!” She can't bear the thought of losing her daughter once again. She insists “All you can do is survive and protect the people you love” to June shoots back “That is what I am doing! (and ironically it’s also what Nick has been doing this whole time). And YES, HOLLY, NICK IS INCLUDED IN THE PEOPLE SHE LOVES, SHE LOVES HIM OK). The heatedness comes to a boiling head when Holly finally flings out "my daughter fucked a nazi and is running across the country to see him" (OH NO SHE DIDNT).

Her words hit like a slap in the face to June and the viewer. But thinking on it in the full context of character history, the argument isn't really that surprising. June and her outspoken radical feminist/activist mom have always been somewhat at odds (even if June's now caught up to the larger fight), and to Holly, men have been--at best--a likely distraction from your true potential, and--at worst and especially now after all she's seen--monsters, all of them. Holly's outburst is a deeply emotional reaction coming from a place of long-held black-and-white biases and worry for her daughter, but moreover her recent trauma over the last long several years, suffering and watching her friends be killed. My first instinct was of course screaming for June to defend Nick's honor more vehemently, offer the concrete examples that we know prove he's a good guy. But I think I get it. She's exhausted, scared and flustered at the reemergence of this old (but long buried) dynamic with her mother. She feels the familiar resentment of her life choices being constantly questioned and judged and, overwhelmed, resorts to her old standby of lashing out in her own personal attack when Holly insists she leave Nichole there: "why, so you can abandon her too??" She's of course immediately regretful of her rash words as her mom walks out, stunned, though still no doubt is also stinging from Holly's. Deep down though June probably knows nothing's going to truly change her mom's mind but time and seeing for herself. I can only hope that June and Holly do get to have that deeper (and calmer) conversation about Nick: everything he is to her and everything he's done for her and baby Holly (he helped me to survive). And that maybe one day, she gets to actually meet Nick and--if very likely give him a fair amount of shit (we'd expect nothing less!)--eventually see and accept him for the good man he is (and good for June). That'll be my headcanon anyway!

Sitting outside, June and her mom make up, and June tells her "I know you didn't abandon me". Holly once again implores June (but in a gentler, more diplomatic manner this time) to leave her Nichole in her care her while Junes heads off back to No Man's Land and I swear to god if this whole "this is for her safety, it could be a trap” thing turns out to be foreshadowing for Nick doing something he would NEVER DO (like put his beloved daughters safety and/or freedom in jeopardy) I WILL RIOT. That said I would certainly not begrudge Holly getting some familial bonding time with her adorable little granddaughter namesake, and as much as I want Nick to be able to see his bb girl again I DO think it’s probably best not to take that sweet innocent little baby toddler into a dangerous rescue mission so close to Gilead, no? And of course if June had left her with Mark to babysit I’d just be left to obsess over my on-again/off-again Testaments conspiracy theory… again. So it’s probably for the best. Probably thinking the same thing (about the time the Hollys have missed together and rescue mission danger, not the conspiracy theory), June agrees. Her mom saying the name "Nichole" then seems to trigger a memory, and June smiles at the secret she now reveals, telling Holly how she actually named her daughter after her when she was born, "her real name's Holly". Ok so then I have a bone to pick back up with you, June, why TF not use her real name then?? Wouldn't it in fact be safer because Gilead knows about "Baby Nichole", they've never heard of "Baby Holly"! Is this like a fae thing where they can't use her "real name" because it holds too much power and gives too much of her power away to the people who know it? OK I know, I know, it's because of Margaret Atwood and the Testaments. It's just funny to me whenever they bring up "Holly's her real name" just to ignore it again while she's young enough to not know the difference and there's no reason to "honor" Serena's legacy of "motherhood" anymore. Poor kid, Holly/Nichole/Daisy/Jade is gonna be so confused. Well, at least mama Holly knows now that June was thinking of her and missing and carrying on her legacy in this way. AND we baby Holly truthers get to feel re-validated. Speaking of which, GEEZ BB HOLLY/NICHOLE IS SO FREAKING CUTE, I'm not even a "baby person" and that little smile when she looks over to June, my heart MELTS. June and mom Holly share a tearful and touching embrace, and soon it is time for June to say a bittersweet goodbye-for-now to her sweet daughter as she plays with some blocks--little Holly: BB GENIUS, amirite?  (ok but why does that toy kind of look like a dick though. Really. Just me???)

(the bwitch is back)

The closing sequence is a great split/multiple perspective parallel montage of June and Serena's respective returns from "exile", set to “Burn the Witch”: Serena as Gilead Boss Bitch Barbie dressed in her mauve power suit/power trench and preparing for her star turn (It's interesting that this mauve kind of pinky purple seems to be the “designated color” for single women in NB?? I guess we can infer it’s similar to the “plum” the pubescent girls in Gilead as “future wives in training” wear, since even though they are in fact children, according to Gilead they technically are single, or rather “eligible yet unmarried” “women”. Kinda fun and unexpected that we get a bit of somewhat unexpected new world building at this point in the show with NB, since Gilead proper world has been so well established for seasons now!). June suited up in black (or dark colors anyway) and a backpack, striding determinedly through a darkened field (at dusk or dawn?) while her mom and daughter look on in farewell . Serena on the private jet like the royalty she knows she is (for some the NB brochure really made me lol). June in the back of a military truck. Serena in a van pulling up to the gates of NB (there are definitely some very Stepford/uncanny valley vibes about this place, in a way it’s almost more disconcerting than Gilead proper in that it has the same unsettling quality but it’s a bright beautiful suburb where people seem to be happy and smiling), then sauntering up to her shiny new beachside property. June looking up at the massive Mayday safehouse, which appears to be a former resort/lodge or country club of some sort(?) and following Mark through a maze of hallways and stairs to the final big reveal: a seeming shit ton of uber drivers and pharmacists and teachers, all hanging out just waiting for her!

I loved the slow motion shot (is it just me or is there a LOT of slow motion used so far this season?) of Nick turning his head but standing standing his ground as Serena walks up, contrasted with the civilian mayday fighters one by one turning and falling in line behind June as she walks though the safehouse (ball?)room. HI THIS IS THE TWO HALVES OF OUR ALPHA REBEL POWER COUPLE OK? And soon to reunite (Hallelujah, amen). Honestly I feel like I’m left a little confused by this whole mayday plot thing… so there is a whole building full of people who are somehow involved in the baddie commanders info mission but Moira and Luke are the only two stuck behind and in trouble? What are they all doing there in that building if June's the one going in, for solidarity? Or is this a more long-term Mayday operations base so they're waiting for other missions/phases of the mission? What is going on. Am I missing something? Clearly. Anyway, maybe we'll find out later. What really matters right now is NICK AND JUNE ARE MEETING UP(!!!). IMMINENTLY. Someone's gotta go save her feckless dummy of a husband, after all.

[genericpuff]

someone responded to me on reddit with their own theory as to what's going on with the eisners so i'm gonna share it here because it's worth reading 🍵

like there's definitely the aspect of it being a Webtoons Originals at play as well, I obviously can't feasibly prove that WT's is paying out the Eisners for their wins and that's not an accusation I wanna be throwing around willy-nilly, but the brand affiliation alone almost definitely factors into it all (and it definitely doesn't help the Eisners seem legit when they keep awarding the same comic 3 years in a row).

There was also a comment I found in the /r/comicbooks sub from the perspective of a former judge-

Considering how much work it would take to properly read the entirety of the nominees - as most webcomics are long-form and will require starting from scratch - I wouldn't be shocked at all if the win came down to "well we know this one won last year, and it has 6 million subscribers, so yeah, that one". Again, I don't want to accuse the judges or the organization of anything, but I do think at best the results of the judging are going to be affected if not outright stunted by the process itself.

All that said, it doesn't take a genius to look at how LO has fared over the last three years and understand that even from a purely objective point of view, nothing about the comic stacks up against the other nominees. It's dumb af because I'm seeing some people arguing "well there were only FOUR other nominees, which one do YOU think should win? you don't read those other four comics?? well then OBVIOUSLY LO deserves the win!" because... no? That's not how that works? It's such a strawman argument to justify defaulting the win to LO just because people on IG might not have ever read a comic like Matchmaker or Asturias before. Just because the people complaining about the LO win might not be familiar with the other nominees doesn't mean those nominees aren't bringing more to the table than LO. Which a lot of them very much are. Shit, Evan Dahm alone has been creating comics online since like the mid 2000's (??) he's an incredibly prolific creator with a lot of successful works under his belt, but apparently LO should get the win anyways... because LO's readers have never read 3rd Voice before? Come on. This is like that time when TOOL beat out Taylor Swift in their album release sales and a bunch of Swifties were upset because they had no idea who TOOL was, meanwhile all the dedicated middle aged dads were over the moon to finally see some recognition for a classic band that absolutely 100% deserved the spotlight after going so long without a new album. Swift has more than enough victories under her belt, she'll live lmao

At best this was definitely the "retired athlete on their way out" win, as a pal so gracefully put it-

And really, that last sentence really does get across the essence of LO in a nutshell - it's celebrated for being a story that never really existed to anyone who never actually looked closer. A lot of the things that the comic is praised for is often made up by an audience of people projecting their headcanon into what they were reading, because without it the comic had nothing to say. LO has to be good, because that's what they were told from day one, because if it wasn't good it certainly wouldn't be advertised this much or winning all these awards or getting all these merch opportunities or getting all this 'jealous' hate... right?

[seoul-bros]

Jikook Week 61 Complete ✔️ (04/02 - 11/02/2025)

Jikook have finalized their 61st week in the military and it's time to look back at this week in 2022. It was an extremely complicated year for BTS. They knew well in advance that military service was coming and in the first six months of the year, continuing as if it was business as usual didn't sit right with them, as I think Namjoon and Jimin expressed very well in the Festa dinner.

They were all under a lot of pressure and I suspect that the company did very little to relieve that and may have even added to it especially for Jungkook who had been marked for glory since their debut.

"Jungkook wasn't very confident but I had a strong conviction that he had a lot of potential" Bang PD on BTS Monuments

BTS were on an extended break after their intense schedule in the US at the end of 2021. Jimin was admitted to hospital on 30/01 suffering from the double whammy of acute appendicitis and COVID 19 and was operated on the next day.

During his recovery period he sent various Weverse messages to reassure the fans including these on 03/02 (SK time) and on 05/02 the day he was discharged.

He spent the next few days resting at home. In the early hours of 09/02 (in SK) he watched The Notebook for the seventh time (still don't get what he sees in that movie - Nicholas Spark does absolutely nothing for me) and then apparently kept on going with another movie (Weverse message). Wouldn't it be perfect if that film turned out to be Like Crazy (getting inspiration for FACE even then).

The next evening after various exchanges with ARMY on Weverse he posted a cryptic, "I'm happy".

So it was rest and recovery all the way for Jimin but what was Jungkook up to this week? These were the heady days when JK was prolific on Instagram and his posts came in fast succession almost like a flow of consciousness.

As infant ARMY, everything was fascinating and everything had to be pored over and reflected on in great detail. Even so, I've never really come to any firm conclusions about what was going on - except JK was going through something and the way he processed it was, unsurprisingly, through music.

On 03/02, JK posted his cover of Hate Everything

Had a perfect picture in my head, With you in the most beautiful dress I look happy as ever How did I let you go again?

Now I'm standing alone in the rain. Like the kinda movie that we used to hate. Wish I could take back the time. But I know this time it's real.

Hate that I'm singing this song. I hate that I have to be strong. Hate that you're gone. I hate all my flaws. Hate that you love someone else Hate everything. Just hate everything. Right now

Then 05/02 he posted this dance video to these lyrics of Teyana Taylor's Bare Wit Me

On 06/02 he posted three sound clips on Instagram.

Roses by Finn Askey - "Hey, Rose I bought you five roses, won't you come to my show? Show you how to live life, yeah, you know you're fucking gold Give you all my time if you wanna take it slow Your soul is lovely, uh"

2. Too many feelings by Ruel - "I let out too many feelings, shit, I should've kept in. Probably should've left 'em all unsaid. Didn't wanna scare you, just wanted to be near you. Wanted you to hear what's in my head You know, I'll take it back if , You take me back too, too"

3. Audrey Nuna - Space - "Don't make me the one to say it Don't make me the one to say it 'cause I can't come down I'm only human now I just need some Space, space, space"

On 07/02 he posted Even Days by 03ohn - "Any of the days, any of the words, Even the day we said goodbye"

So he was posting a slew of break up songs 💔 one after another with regret combined with inevitability as the central theme i.e. "I love you but I'm feeling the pressure and I'm not sure I can be the lover that you want me to be".

On 08/02 he posted Never Change by Jeremy Passion with the lyrics "There is a place where both of us belong, But as of now we just have to be strong"

and he ended the week with the decidedly more upbeat Takes Two by Fiji Blue on 09/02 and the lyrics, 'Cause all I want is you, is you It takes two 'Cause all I want is you, is you It takes two"

Could this outpouring be related to jikook? Well if you believe they are together and have been for many years you could certainly ask yourself that question.

All long term relationships have their ups and downs and that is without having to deal with the spotlight of global superstardom, a kpop idol culture which requires stars to "appear permanently available" to their fans and the don't ask, don't tell approach to same sex relationships in SK. We know that Jimin was struggling at the time so perhaps it isn't too far fetched to think that Jungkook would also be struggling to help or to cope.

All I can say is that the next time we saw them together during the Seoul Permission to Dance concerts and in the BTS Monuments scenes filmed on the 13/03/2022 (according to Jimin's fridge) they appeared as united as ever.

So even if this was about them by mid March 2022 they had come to some agreement on how to move forward - together.

Post Date: 11/02/2025

[monscrow]

intro post, i guess!!!

askbox open only on weekends (when i remember lol); got too overwhelmed by spam, my apologies.

last updated 10/feb/2025

⚠️flash warning for blinkies at the bottom⚠️

free gaza, free palestine, stop genocide. you don't agree? block me.

i go by mons, crow and vic/víctor!!

my pronouns are they/them, he/him and any neos/xenos that you think would fit either comedically or off of vibes.

lvl 16, so, a minor !! beware

aroacespec, something like that; qprs are sick asf and all hail relationship anarchy.

art sideblog is @monscrowdraws

audhdcd (asd + adhd + ocd 😻😋) and hEDS. i use tonetags, feel free to ask for clarification!!!

bday is oct 7. 🎉🎉🎉

i'm mexican 🇲🇽!! i speak both spanish and english.

timezone is cst/utc-6.

i say slurs i can reclaim (mainly the f and t queer ones) and swear a lot, though if that makes you uncomfortable please either block me or lmk so i can try to tone it down when around you.

i love interacting!! feel free to tag me in stuff, send some asks (be it on anon or not), or message me! moots can ask for my discord even if we've never actually talked before. though i suck at keeping consistent; nothing personal i promise</3 /gen

i tend to spam-reblog so do with that information what you will.

some tags you might see me use here and there:

#mons rambles ← just my thoughts, ideas, opinions, and whatever i feel like throwing into the tumblr void.

#ask a crow / #anon asks ← askbox replies.

#save / #art save / #fav / #hellsite faves ← these are more for myself, but yeah they're pretty self-descriptive. just in case you get curious or anything.

hyperfixations/interests/things i'm passionate about !!! i guess, kinda

→ mcr (+ most of the members' solo projects)

→ killjoys (california + national anthem, but mainly calif and fanon)

→ demolition lovers lore (i have literally written like at least three different essays about it for school help me i'm so serious)

→ emo/alt/diy culture

→ will wood

→ bandom in general

→ sonic the hedgehog (franchise)

→ graphic design, arts and crafts, illustration, animation (that's right y'all graphic design IS my passion 😔)

→ fnaf (bonnie fnaf they could never make me hate you)

→ cosplay/costume-making

→ d&d

→ crows (no way, crow, really???)

→ australian shepherds

→ the umbrella academy (s4 isn't canon in my heart + currently reading the comics !!! )

→ gravity falls

→ neurodivergencies/psychology/disabilities (this one's pretty meta ngl)

→ lgbtqia+ identities (emphasis on the aroace-spec ones + relationship anarchy)

→ politics/activism

→ linguistics + conlangs

→ fantasy in general (high fantasy, magic, vampires, tieflings, you name it)

→ boardgames

→ the count of monte cristo (book + 2024 movie)

→ webfishing :3

→ uhhhh there's more but i don't remember rn, i'll keep adding as i see fit (probably... maybe..... perhaps....... quizás........ puede ser..........)

dni

trump supporters, terfs, transphobes, anti lgbtqia+/queerphobics, exclusionists, ableists, racists, prolifers/antichoicers, proshippers/anti-antis, irl gore, pro-israel/zionists, pro-ai generated "content", pro-nft, non-critical media consumers, classists, ed blogs, sh blogs.

also, i'm aware that dnis tend to not be effective and i probably will still get shitty ppl in my inbox so i can and will block. though i'm p chill as long as you're chill. this blog is run by a very neurodivergent, mentally ill, mexican, transmasc, aroace faggot, and any kind of bigoted hatred will not be tolerated.

blinkies made with blinkies cafe !!!

pssst btw, before you go, if you read my intro post i'd heavily encourage you to like it, so i can know!!! :] (/nf though!)