#yes it's busy and chaotic and weird

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Not-As-Vague-As-I-Anticipated Thoughts On A Valicer Ghostbusters AU

Hi everyone! Say, do you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals remember when I had not one, but two Ghostbusters AUs kicking around on my blog: I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghost, based on the original movies from the 80s with Doc, Marty, and Victor as the Ghostbusters and Alice as their receptionist, and Who Ya Gonna Call?, based on the 2016 reboot with Victoria, Emily, Clara, Jennifer, and Alice as the Ghostbusters and Victor as the receptionist? Weren't those good times? Well, it may interest you to know that, ever since Smiler showed up and became a notable presence in my head and on this blog, I've been having on and off thoughts about trying to fit them into one of those AUs! Because I am still a fan of both the original and 2016 Ghostbusters, still enjoy those AUs, and thought it would be fun to include Smiler in one of them! There was just one problem --

"I Ain't Afraid Of Not Ghost" was the one with a slot open for Smiler (as I always had trouble filling the "Winston Zeddemore" role in that one -- I think my best option was considering Clara for the role, as in the linked post)...but Smiler's general vibes always seemed a better fit for "Who Ya Gonna Call?" (which did not need any more characters in it!).

A dilemma, as I'm sure you will agree! And so the Ghostbusters AU thoughts, whenever they popped up, kept getting tabled in favor of AUs that I could actually make work. That is, until recently, when an idea hit me. An idea that can basically be summed up in the form of a meme:

Yes, my solution to my Ghostbusters AU dilemma? Smash the original 1984 movie and the 2016 reboot together. AKA make everything even more complicated and crowded! XD And so I present to you my initial ideas/timeline for the Mega-Ghostbusters AU that I'm thinking of calling "Busting Makes Me Feel Good." It's not totally feature-complete yet, but you should at least get a good idea of where I'd want go with this! Let's begin:

-->Our starting group, before all the supernatural nonsense kicks off, is Doc, Marty, and Smiler -- Doc's a professor at Hill Valley Community College, teaching applied physics and studying parapsychology in his off hours, while Marty and Smiler are two students of his turned lab assistants because they found out what he was doing in his free time and thought it sounded cool. (Think a situation kind of like what Abby and Holtzmann had going at their college at the start of Answer The Call.) The three haven't really gotten anywhere with their research into ghosts and paranormal extra-dimensional entities yet, but Doc's determined to figure this shit out, and Marty and Smiler are enjoying the ride. (And occasionally playing pranks on him, like the "ghostly fart noises" prank Abby and Holtz played on Erin.)

-->And then, one day, they're summoned to the local public library to talk to someone who says he saw a ghost down in the basement. Cue them meeting one Victor Van Dort, newly-moved to the city, who is understandably freaked out by his supernatural experience. The trio assure him that they believe him and ask him to take them down to see the ghost for themselves...and end up freaked out as well because holy shit actual ghost. They're eventually scared out of the building, a la the incident in the 1984 movie, but Smiler got the whole thing on their phone, and they gleefully present that and the ectoplasm samples they retrieved to their college Dean.

-->...Doc is immediately fired for wasting university time and resources, because the Dean does not believe them at all and has been looking for an excuse to fire that weirdo Dr. Brown for a while. Marty and Smiler are quite annoyed, but Doc sees an opportunity -- for you see, he's been working on a way to try and catch ghosts for some time now. And he's pretty sure those librarians would pay to get that ghost out of the library. So now that he has the free time, why not set up some sort of business where they can catch ghosts and similar entities to study them? Marty and Smiler are into it --

As is Victor, and it's about this time that everyone realizes, "wait a minute, why are you still hanging out with us?" XD Turns out that he just kind of followed along when Doc took them all to see the Dean because Doc seemed to know what he was doing, and well, now he's intrigued by all their research. Doc's like "cool, free third lab assistant" and says he's welcome to help out however he likes, and the core group grows to four.

-->Quick additional note here: while I intend for Emily to be a living human and not a ghost in this AU (as she was part of the core team back in "Who Ya Gonna Call?" -- you'll see her show up in a moment), I do very much want Victor, when questioned by Doc, Marty, and Smiler if there's a history of mental illness in his family, to admit that an ancestor of his back in the 1870s claimed to have temporarily married a corpse. It just amuses me to have that be his "I had an uncle who thought he was St. Jerome" moment. :p

-->Anyway, Doc gets his stuff out of the university lab (along with some of the university's stuff -- that does cause a bit of a kerfluffle, as you might imagine), and he and his assistants go looking for a good place to set up shop. And, as you might expect, they find an old abandoned firehouse that might be just perfect (Smiler in particular likes the fire pole). Unfortunately, between the needed repairs to the building and the asking price of the realtor, Doc isn't sure they can afford it --

Cue Victor revealing he's the son of canned food magnate William Van Dort and using some trust fund money to buy the place. (Victor: "I -- did tell you my last name when we first met." Marty: "I thought you were a cousin or something, NOT HIS FUCKING KID!") After the initial shock, the others decide to just be grateful they have a rich friend, and repairs begin apace. As their new headquarters comes together, Doc decides they could use some help filing and fielding phone calls and whatnot, and puts out an ad for an receptionist...

-->Cue not one, but both of Victor's high school exes, Victoria Everglot and Emily Cartwell-Merrimack, showing up to apply for the job. XD There's a somewhat-awkward reunion, with the three explaining their situation -- namely, that Victor and Victoria dated during senior year because their parents were "strongly encouraging" them to be together (the Van Dorts to leach off the Everglots being more "high society," the Everglots to leech off the Van Dort money); then, midway through said year, Emily ended up glomming onto Victor as a rebound boyfriend when he showed her some sympathy after her previous boyfriend broke her heart (and stole her mother's jewelry); and then there was a bit of a "thing" about who was cheating on who when Emily saw Victor with Victoria shortly after said glomming. But they managed to move past that (with a lot of profuse "I didn't realize you two saw this so much more seriously than I did" apologies from Victor, who was actually in the process of explaining the Emily situation to Victoria when Emily showed up -- just not very well), and they all ended up decent friends before falling out of touch after graduation due to going to different colleges. Both ladies prove to be good at the tasks required for the job AND not afraid to get their hands dirty helping with renovations, so Doc ends up hiring them both, figuring "this is probably going to be a 24-hour business, we should have day and night shift receptionists anyway."

-->Naturally, business is rather slow at first, with not a lot of people taking these new "Ghostbusters" seriously...but eventually they get a call from one Clara Clayton, local schoolteacher, asking them to come investigate her apartment because she recently opened her fridge and a weird dog-demon thing started yelling "ZUUL" at her. Doc and company promptly head over to investigate --

And, as you might imagine, Doc and Clara are instantly smitten at first sight. Somewhat annoying Marty, who keeps having to interrupt their awkward flirting over Clara's Jules Verne collection and her telescope to get Doc to focus on the job. XD Anyway, they don't actually find anything in the fridge, but Doc does note some fairly high PKE readings in the apartment generally and tells Clara to keep an eye out, maybe bunk up in a hotel if things start getting too bizarre. And that she can call him anytime, or visit him at the firehouse, or -- maybe join him for coffee sometime...basically Marty, Victor, and Smiler have to drag him out the door. XD

-->And then, shortly after that, they get a call from a local hotel saying that they have a bit of a ghost problem, and if they're legit, could they come bust it please? (I picture Emily being the one to take this call, mostly because I can better picture her being the one to yell "WE GOT ONE!" Janine-style. XD) Doc, Marty, Victor, and Smiler rush over to the hotel with their proton packs, and --

Well, of course it's Slimer, being his usual gluttonous self. Poor Marty's the one who gets the "he slimed me" moment, incidentally. XD But the boys and enby manage to wrangle the ghost with only moderate collateral damage, and with this first public bust, business starts picking up as more people become willing to tell them about the various hauntings they're dealing with.

-->It's around this time that we cut over to one Alice Liddell, getting ready to ride the subway to work (I have no idea if Hill Valley is actually big enough to support one of those, but this is supposed to be a modern day-ish AU, and we know Hill Valley gets bigger in the future judging by the fact it seems to be a much more bustling city in BTTF II's 2015 -- pretend it's a small local system that the mayor funded as part of a "better public transport" initiative or something) -- when she spots a familiar face sneaking off from the crowd. It's one Dr. Angus Bumby, the asshole who murdered her parents and sister and burned down her house, condemned her to ten years in Rutledge Psychiatric, turned to child pimping disguised as helping to rehabilitate troubled orphans after graduating university, tried to wipe her mind when she ended up in his care after Rutledge, and then -- when she FINALLY managed to drag him to the authorities -- escaped and disappeared into the ether. Alice is like "oh, you are NOT getting away from me THIS time fucker" and chases after him --

-->But then he sets down an odd device on the tracks -- and moments later, a very angry ghost appears in the tunnel, forcing her to back off and closing down the subway. Alice, seeing a poster for the Ghostbusters on the wall of the station, heads over to their office to tell them what she saw and ask them to investigate. The 'Busters are keen (especially since the subway authority have ALSO called them to be like "something supernatural is on our tracks, please get rid of it") and follow her to the station --

-->Where, before they do the bust, they encounter a young woman doing some graffiti art on the wall of the station. Turns out it's Marty's girlfriend Jennifer Parker, who's indulging a bit of a rebellious streak now that she's out of her parent's house (aka she's a bit like the 1986 Citizen Brown Jennifer from the Telltale game, because I really like that Jennifer). Upon hearing they're there to bust a ghost, she jokingly does the classic "no ghosts" logo on the wall -- the group agrees that would actually be a great logo and ask Jennifer if she wants to talk licensing later (Jennifer: "Yeah, I'll take money for this, sure"). With that sorted, the group busts the ghost (with a little distracting help from Alice and Jennifer, who insisted on coming along to watch) and find the device, which Doc notes is a specialized "ionizer" designed to attract ghosts, based on a design he mentioned in a book he authored on the subject of parapsychology ages ago. Alice is like, "I don't know why Bumby's now into ghost attracting, but I don't want him to keep doing it--"

-->And asks to join the team as a Buster. Jennifer is also into the idea (partly because she's a LITTLE worried about Marty's safety after seeing a bust in action, and at least this way they're risking their lives together), and Doc says that if someone is trying to summon ghosts, they probably could use all hands on deck and agrees to take them on, stating that they should train Victoria and Emily in how to use the equipment too. So it's back to the firehouse --

Where they find Clara waiting! Turns out, while she fortunately hasn't had any Zuuls in her fridge lately, she has been doing some research into the history of her apartment building, and, well, she's not exactly keen on what she's found. Turns out that the architect behind it, Ivo Shandor (name subject to change -- I am SO freaking tempted to make it "Cave Johnson" because they had J. K. Simmons play the guy in Afterlife), was part of some world-destruction cult, and built it to act as a sort of "antenna" to focus paranormal energies and attract the attention of a god named Gozer, otherwise known as "The Destroyer." Clara's like, "I feel like shit is going to go down if monsters are appearing in my kitchen -- can you maybe lend me one of those proton packs and teach me how to use it?"

Doc's response? "I'll do you one better -- you want a job?" Clara is initially thrown, but then is like "you know what, it's summer vacation and I really want to make sure this thing in my fridge doesn't get me and it means spending more time with you, so sure."

-->Cue a training and tech montage as Doc, Marty, Victor, and Smiler instruct Alice, Clara, Jennifer, Victoria, and Emily in how to use the proton packs and traps and test out some of Doc's new inventions in the field of ghost-busting! Also cue:

a) Clara getting really into how Doc's putting all this stuff together and helping him with it whenever she can, causing the two of them to grow closer and finally act properly on their attraction (kissing over a disassembled proton pack is as romantic as kissing in front of a telescope under the stars, right?)

b) Victoria and Emily taking a look at the 1984-inspired jumpsuits everyone is wearing and going "these desperately need an update -- hi-vis stripes would add visual interest AND probably make you easier to spot in dark environments," before using their sewing skills to make jumpsuits more akin to the 2016 ones; along the way they start acknowledging a mutual attraction

c) Alice and Smiler both noticing that Victor seems to be attracted to the other and attempting a little subtle matchmaking...only to discover what they're doing when Smiler asks Alice if she'd like to go on a date with Victor, and she's like "...I thought you wanted to date him." Talking to Victor after that reveals he's into both of them but had absolutely no plans to act on his attraction after what happened with Victoria and Emily. Smiler is like, "well, no worries for me, I'm polyamorous, so if you guys want to try the 'throuple' thing, I'm down" -- Alice and Victor decide it's worth it, and the three end up in a hinge relationship with Victor at the center

d) Marty and Jennifer, the Established Couple With Their Shit Together, wondering why busting ghosts seems to be such a romantic activity for all their coworkers (Alice: "Jennifer, you joined up SPECIFICALLY to be with your boyfriend.")

-->Also cue the gang getting some proper branded vehicles to drive to busts with, instead of just taking Doc's old "24 Hour Scientific Services" van! The fleet includes:

a) the classic Ecto-1 (with the spin-out gunner seat introduced in Afterlife because that is an objectively cool thing to add to it)

b) a DeLorean where all the time travel modifications are adapted to be for ghost-busting purposes instead (because you can't have the BTTF characters without THEIR classic 80s car)

c) the Ecto-2 motor scooter from Answer The Call, both because it's neat and because there are a LOT of characters involved here, so it's probably best we have at least one more transportation option

-->So, how does teaching the ladies how to bust ghosts go? Well, they all get opportunities to join the more experienced members of the team on smaller busts, and acquit themselves pretty well...but the real test of their training comes on a day when Marty, Doc, Victor, and Smiler are all taking the night off -- Marty's got a concert gig with his band, the Pinheads; Doc's helping him with the special effects for that gig; and Victor and Smiler are going to see said gig as part of a date night together (with Alice saying she might stop by and see how they're doing later). Jennifer of course also goes to see her boyfriend and cheer him on -- but while hanging around backstage, she spots a figure sneaking away from a storage room. And, upon investigating, finds another one of those devices they found in the subway -- which, before she can do anything about it, spits out a horrible demon-like bat-ghost. Horrified, she calls Clara at the firehouse and gets her to bring the gear with Victoria, Emily, and Alice -- however, by the time they arrive, the concert is in full swing, and there's no chance to get the stuff to Marty and the others in time. So the ladies suit up and charge in --

Just in time for the bat-ghost to start attacking the stage. Marty gets the other members of the Pinheads out of harm's way, while Doc offers advice to the women over the sound system and Victor and Smiler try to direct the panicking crowd to the exits (Smiler is much better at this than Victor). Fortunately, the quintet of ladies learned well, and while there is the usual collateral damage, they manage to wrangle the ghost and force it into a trap. Cue the crowd cheering, the various couples/throuple sharing a celebratory kiss --

-->And then the police busting in and insisting all nine of the Ghostbusters come with them immediately. There's a little "wait, what??" but the group do comply, and are whisked away to the town hall for an emergency meeting with none other than Mayor Goldie Wilson III. As it turns out, he and his fellow elected officials have been tracking the Ghostbusters' activity, and they're a little concerned -- both by the rise in paranormal events around the town, and by the fact that the people combating those paranormal events are bunch of unlicensed weirdos with probably-illegal tech. Doc points out that he couldn't exactly apply for a license to be a ghostbuster, which Goldie allows. He also admits to the group that he does not want them to stop busting ghosts, because they seem to be a legit threat -- he just wants someone to take a look at how they operate and whatnot, just to make it look like the local government knows what it's doing. Everyone's like "yeah, all right, we understand, got nothing to hide," and Goldie reveals his appointee as Official Hill Valley Mayoral Liaison --

-->And it's one Edna Strickland. AKA Doc's high school ex, former newspaper reporter, current member of the Public Health And Safety Department, and all-around nosy busybody with exceptionally prudish morals. And while Mayor Wilson is happy to let the Ghostbusters keep doing what they're doing, she considers the lot of them to be dangers to the town. Not in the least because she thinks Doc's a crackpot who chose science over her (Doc: "Edna, that was fifty years ago, let it go") AND because she's discovered Alice was formerly institutionalized and still suffers from hallucinations and suchlike (Alice: "I have gotten way better at telling fantasy from reality, thank you very much"). Things are NOT improved by Marty antagonizing her every chance he gets, both because she's being such a dick to his friends and because he has awful memories of dealing with her younger brother Stephen Gerald Strickland when he was in high school (dude's the local assistant principal and head of discipline and did NOT like constantly-late Marty). So the Ghostbusters now have to deal with her demands -- most of which seem to concern how real ghosts are (Doc: "How many eyewitness accounts of paranormal activity do you want, Edna?"), and how safe the ghost containment unit Doc built really is -- while simultaneously keeping an eye on the ghost situation...

And okay, it's no surprise that this AU crossing over the plots of two whole-ass movies with a bunch of other stuff is getting freaking long. So how about we take a break here, and we'll pick it up with the adventures of the gang as they head toward the dual climaxes in Part Two? Sound good? Sounds good.

[shra-vasti]

I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, PJS (PART 1)

• SYNOPSIS: A fleeting encounter with Park Jay at a high school party leaves a quiet imprint on your then broken heart. Years later, you find him again, now as an icy guitarist of the campus boy band, HYPHENIX. You never spoke again, but you remembered his eyes, his words, his presence and how he lingered at the back of your mind years after. You wanted to reach for him, but he was so far, popular, untouchable that you decided to pour your heart to him in secret, until the secret was revealed but someone else claimed it before you could. Or in which you pour your heart into anonymous letters for the cold, distant guitarist, Jay, only to watch your best friend claim every word as her own.

• PAIRING: Park Jongseong (Jay) x afab!reader

• WORD COUNT: 21.4k (Part 1)

• CONTENT TAGS: Non idol au, university settings, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, strangers to lovers, slow burn, shy reader x popular Jay, down bad reader, betrayal, abandonment, miscommunications or lack of communications, profanities, name calling, stereotyping, best friend's boyfriend, reader is nosy and loves other people's business way too much (my twin fr), fear of rejection and unwanted attention, body image issues in the beginning, toxic relationships and friendships, low-key stalker reader, reader wears glasses, not proofread, lmk if I missed anything.

• AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic turned out to be more lengthy than I initially planned, so I am splitting it into 2 part. Lmk if you want to be tagged for part 2 when I post it. Your likes, comments and reblogs are always welcomed and appreciated. Thank you so much for showering my write ups with your love. Happy reading♡♡

The music blaring through the speakers hit you first, deep bass vibrating through the pavement long before you reached the house. It meddled with your heartbeat, getting louder with decreasing distance from the party. You sighed leaning your head on the car's window, the house looked unfamiliar, windows glowing red, blue, green against the night. You didn't know whose house this was, just that your boyfriend said everyone would be there and to let yourself loose from time to time. You fixed the glasses on your nose, and adjusted your jacket, you turned your head to look at your boyfriend.

He looked in your direction briefly when he felt your gaze on him before sighing, "don't stress too much." You gulped, feeling anxious, "I don't really know anyone there Joon," you started, eyes brimming with worry, "you'll stay by my side right?" You heard him exhale a deep breath before throwing a wink at you, "yes babe, don't worry, you look really beautiful today, I'm stressed someone will steal you away from me." You pushed him a bit, blush creeping on your neck as you turned back towards the window. 

Cars were lined up the driveway, recklessly parked. You wouldn't expect anything less from high schoolers anyway. You could hear the screams and laughter from the porch, it was loud and chaotic and it made your stomach churned. "Let's go," your eyes followed your boyfriend's actions, and you proceeded to take off your seatbelt. He stood beside the door tapping his foot impatiently, you shook your head and opened your side of the door. He locked the door behind you and started making his way towards the house. You hurriedly rushed behind him, and then slowed your steps down when you reached beside him. 

The air was thick inside, tangled in a weird mix of cheap perfume, alcohol and something burning, maybe it was food or the fireworks you didn't know. Your hand latched onto your boyfriend's sleeve as soon as you entered. The environment was warm, crowded, strangers pressed against each other like puzzle pieces that don't belong together. The LED lights stung your eyes. You moved through the crowd tightly pressed against your boyfriend's side. Every corner of the room was alive with conversations you weren't a part of, some shouting over the music, some laughing at their friend's antics, some posing for pictures. The walls of the house felt suffocating though it was relatively big, the energy inside too much, reminding you that you don't belong here. 

The music was pounding in your ears, too loud, too bothersome. You stood beside your boyfriend, who anxiously texted his friends asking where they are. Your eyes trailed towards the dance floor, bodies swayed with the rhythm of the music, some too close, some trying not to lose their balance. It happened too fast, one moment your boyfriend was beside you, another moment he rushed towards the other side of the room completely disregarding your presence. Your eyes followed him, your steps following suit. Someone shouted over the bass, out of frustration or joy you couldn't tell. 

You grabbed your boyfriend's hand, your action making him stop to look at you. Just in time someone crashed into your shoulder, their clumsy actions making you stumble as a slosh of liquid hit the floor beneath you and onto your heel-cladded feet. The sticky scent of fruit punch or some weird concoction clung in the air, few people gathered around to look at the mess before laughing and stepping over it like it didn't matter. Your feet felt sticky and your boyfriend rolled his eyes at the sight, "how about you go to the bathroom and clean yourself? I'll wait for you here." You grimaced before nodding your head at your boyfriend and making your way towards the bathroom. 

You washed your feet and heels with irritation seeping deep in your bones, this is the exact reason why you don't do parties, it's messy and loud and everything you tend to avoid. After drying your feet and heels with tissue, you took a brief look at yourself in the mirror. You combed your fingers through your loose hair to make them a tad bit presentable, fixing your glasses yet again you sighed and texted your boyfriend to meet near the dance floor. You made your way out of the bathroom and towards the dance floor, scanning the room for your boyfriend as you waited for him to text you back. 

"Joon?" You tapped his shoulder when you found him leaning on the wall as he chatted with someone animatedly. He turned around, visible irritation laced on his face as he excused himself and made his way in the opposite direction, you followed suit, confused about his sudden discontent towards you. "Joon, where are you going? I asked you to wait for me, didn't I?" He stopped abruptly when he was sure he was away from the eyesight of his friends. You collided with his back, "I was just catching up with my friends! Can't you at least leave me alone for a few minutes?" You shuddered at his high-pitched tone, "you know I don't like partying yet I came since you promised that you'll stay by my side."

"Gosh you're so clingy-" his voice was cut off when someone called out his name, both of you turned around towards the person, "is this your girl Joon? Won't you introduce her to us?" You eyed the girl who smiled at you after giving your boyfriend a sharp side eye. He shrugged, ushering her to join others before he turned towards you. "Take your jacket and glasses off, try to look good for me in front of my friends, I've a reputation to uphold." Your eyes widened at his words rendering you speechless. It was the first time he had uttered those words to you, was he ashamed of introducing you to his friends just as you were? You thought he loved you for you. 

All of your thoughts came to a halt when he turned you around and took off your jacket despite you protesting. You weren't comfortable with showing much skin. He knew that the spaghetti strap top you were wearing underneath made you feel more conscious about yourself and your surroundings. He threw the jacket somewhere on the couch, grabbing your hand and made his way towards his friends. "Joon, you know I'm not good with people, what are you doing?" He ignored your pleas as he stopped in front of his friends. You put your head down, hoping somehow they'll focus on your boyfriend and forget that you existed. 

"Your girlfriend is really pretty, Joon." One of the girls from his circle chimed, her nails lightly scratching his arms, she didn't even spare you a glance as she went on about how pretty you are, and how funny you must be. Everyone else looked a bit uncomfortable at the exchange aside from your boyfriend and her. Someone cleared their throat to break the awkward tension and your boyfriend snapped from his trance and proceeded to introduce you. Awkward and sympathetic smiles greeted you in return, their eyes meeting with each other like they knew something you didn't. The same girl asked you to have a drink, laughing obnoxiously loud as you declined as if not abusing your liver was a mundane thought to have. 

Joon grabbed the drink from the waiter and held your face with one hand as he forced you to drink whatever it was in that cup, you pushed him, startled by him constantly crossing your boundaries without a single care. The whole group gasped as he stumbled backward and fell on the ground. Few of his friends took out their cameras to record the scene. You wiped the remnants of the drink dropping down from your mouth, your eyes fixed on the way your boyfriend glared at you. The girl from earlier sat by his side, words of venom spilling off from her cherry lips as she helped your boyfriend get up. And with the way your boyfriend's hand rested low on her lips and the concern etched on her face, you knew what place you held in your boyfriend's life.

You shook your head as you made your way towards the back of the house, taking off your glasses momentarily to wipe the tears that managed to fall off your eyes. The backyard was nearly empty save it from a few people who were smoking joints in the corner. You made your way towards the small staircase which led towards the gazebo and sat there, contemplating on your reactions towards your boyfriend's actions. You turned to look if he followed you but got more disappointed as you saw him wrapping his arms around the girl instead. You couldn't figure out if the shiver that went down your spine and the goosebumps on your skin was because of your boyfriend's actions or because of the weather. 

You let the tears flow, your glasses fogging up as you took deep breaths to control losing your shit right at a stranger's house. This isn't how you planned the start of your weekend to go, yet here you were, drowning in your misery as your mind went back to all the things your boyfriend did previously which you ignored. You were too busy believing in his potential that you forgot to look at how he is in the present. All the lies, the excuses, the missed dates, the secrecy everything played in front of your eyes like a tape record on loop. You blame yourself for letting him play with you for so long. 

You stopped crying when a blurry image came into view, you took off your glasses, wiped it with the hem of your top and put it back to get a better view. You heard a sigh from beside you, as your vision adjusted, a handkerchief. You took it in your hand and wiped your tears, unable to look at the person who handed it to you. "Young love, huh? Must be painful..." your eyes fell on the stranger who sat beside you, a half-smile adorning his face, not unkind but more like he knew how you were feeling, "but hey, heartbreak makes a good story for later, right?" You furrowed your eyebrows at his comment, "you're saying it like you're some old man trapped in a hot boy body." 

"You're saying I'm hot?" Your cheeks flared up with heat as you let the weight of your words sink in your head, your eyes widened in embarrassment as he just laughed. You took in his appearance, he was laughing with his head thrown back, carefree and unfiltered like he owned the world. His cheeks flushed, either from alcohol or laughing, you weren't sure. His smile was wide, the kind of smile which made people look at him twice even without meaning to. His hair's a little messy, pushed back like he ran his hands through it one to many times. His eyes shined with a tipsy charm as they locked with yours, the kind of eyes which makes you forget your own name even when he's sober. 

"I saw what happened back there, thought you'd appreciate a company," his words brought your mind back to your current situation, frown appearing on your relaxed face once again. You sighed, hugged yourself, maybe you could use some company, "I really thought he loved me," you started, head hanging low as you felt shame consume you for being so stupid, "I let him break one too many of my boundaries." He sighed as he took off his jacket and placed it on your shoulders. His scent enveloped your senses, calming your frantic heart a little, "dump him, he's not worth it and you're better than this." 

You looked at him briefly, "I don't know if I have that much confidence in me, I don't have anyone else other than him." His hand made its way to your chin, lifting it up slightly, you're met with his sharp gaze, "confidence isn't loud you know, sometimes confidence is just choosing yourself over others. And I believe you're closer to choosing yourself than you think." His determined eyes and lopsided smile made your heart skip a bit. He reluctantly removed his hand from your chin, coughing awkwardly as he looked away as if his words didn't really pierced through your heart. "You think so?" You questioned meekly as you fiddled with your fingers. He looked at the sky, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped, "You don't need to be confident to walk away. You just need to take one step. And yeah, maybe you feel like he is all you have right now but he is not all there is. Don't build your entire world around someone who can't hold it for you." 

You let his words sink in your chest, your boyfriend was the only person you had, he made sure of that. Maybe deep down you knew you deserved better than him, and maybe you just needed someone else to remind you, "you're great with words, can I at least know the name of the person I am trauma bonding with?" He chuckled at your words, "Jay's fine." You nodded, telling him your name in return. You spent the rest of the night talking with him, your mind drifting far off from your boyfriend as you laughed at him while he explained how he got fed up with his friends who were shit-faced drunk and creating a scene. He told you how parties weren't really his cup of tea but he liked entertaining his friends who loved it. As the night went on you realized he was drunk as well and probably won't even remember this small exchange with you in the morning, yet you were glad you weren't drowning alone in your misery tonight. 

"Ah, I need to go. My friends have been calling me non stop and my phone was on silent mode." He was on his feet and off towards the house before you could bring yourself to stop him to ask for his number. You booked a cab to get you back to your house when you realized he didn't take his jacket back with him. You just looked at him as his figure disappeared into the crowd and ran towards the direction he went but you lost him and you wondered if you'll ever be able to meet me again. You reached home, head pounding due to all the crying and a little bit of drink which your boyfriend forced you to drink. 

You quickly messaged your boyfriend to call it quits and blocked his number from every possible app you could, not even waiting for his reply. You opened your instagram, your fingers moving before your mind did. You recognized a guy from your school, Sunoo, at the party. He's a social butterfly. Maybe his profile could help you with finding Jay. You opened his profile, sighing in relief as his page was public, you went to the tagged section to see if you could find Jay and there he was. You zoomed in to take a clear look, the picture was blurry but the jacket in the picture looked familiar to the one currently draped on your chair. You clicked on it to see if his username is tagged and thankfully it did. His profile was more low-key than low-key, just some pictures of his guitars, a group picture and a name, HYPHENIX.

The university's campus is louder and lively than it needs to be. The courtyard buzzing with laughter and talks of people huddling together to make memories. People walk in with their little groups, coffee in one hand, backpacks slung over their shoulders, carefree like they've already figured out how to survive here, like they know they belong here. You pass through them like wind brushing past one's hair, your head down, hands clasped around the straps of your backpack. The hallway isn't any better, students rushing to get to their respective classes, some frantic, some lazed out. There's echo of shoes, heels, sneakers, boots, which remind you that you are walking with them, just not beside. Voices overlap, laughter resonates, lockers being slammed shut and class door's daring you to knock and enter. Everyone seems to have somewhere to be, someone to text, someone waiting for them to join and you just wheeze past them, not invisible entirely just easy to miss. 

You're halfway to your class when you hear someone call out your name, turn around and smile softly at your best friend, Ava, short for Avalyn, to catch up to you. "Where are you running off to?" You take off your headphones and place it inside the case, "my morning class Ava! You got free time?" She shook her head, her keratin smooth hair swaying slightly at her movement, "I'm trying for cheer squad remember? I'm going for a practice session to get through the audition." You nodded your head in understanding, she had been trying to have a spot in the cheer squad for a while now, she's good at it you think, but you guess popularity plays a key role in getting into the team. 

She continued to walk by your side as she gushed about how she's getting better at cheering, you listened to her, that's what you usually do. You bid her goodbye and enter your class. The class went on as usual, nothing out of ordinary. You took notes of the things the professor said, then quietly packed your things to leave. You were placing the headphones in your ears when your eyes landed on a figure standing a few feet away from you, your steps halted and there he was, Jay. He was leaning against a pillar, nodding his head at the person talking with him, one hand raking through his already messy hair. His other hand was holding onto the strap of his guitar case. 

You watched him from the entrance of your class, occasionally sliding your finger on your phone screen to appear busy as you stole glances at him. Your eyes blinked a few times, not really believing the sight in front of you. He barely spoke, just nodded along the conversation with a blank expression on. He hadn't changed much, except he was now taller, his features more sharp, and more mature than you last remember. The sight of him made your heart skip a beat, maybe it was because you saw him after so many years or maybe because he hadn't left your mind even once since you had a talk with him at that high school party. 

He reminded you of the past version of yourself which you haven't really forgotten. A small crowd gathered around him, he sighed heavily. His eyes scanned around the area, you hid yourself behind the door of your class. You peeked from your place, your breath caught. He didn't notice you, of course he didn't. He excused himself as he started walking towards the opposite direction, the crowd following close behind him and that's when it hit you, how far both of your lives had drifted. There he was, in the spotlight, surrounded by people who admired him while you stood behind the class doors, in the shadows, wondering, watching.

"Where are you?" Ava's voice rang through your headphones as you ordered your coffee from a local coffee shop. You paid the cashier and thanked him as you made your way out of the shop, "at the coffee shop, I'm going out for a bit." You could imagine her pouting on the other side of the phone, her voice whiny, "why are you going out alone? I would have loved to accompany you, don't forget you have me by your side okay?" You pursed your lips as you nodded at her words then realizing she couldn't possibly see you, "I know Ava, but I can't always depend on you right?" She opened her mouth to protest, "you can depend on me, I'm your only friend." You frowned but didn't disagree with her, it was true that she was your only friend, she has been the only one who saw you and has been by your side since the university started and you're glad that she stood beside you and helped you. 

"I'll make it up to you okay?" She squealed at your remark, hanging up the phone before informing you about her nail appointment, your eyes unconsciously fell on your own hands, maybe you could get a manicure too. High school was hard after your breakup, with no one by your side but you got through it alone. Now, as you were older and wiser than your high school self, you started to enjoy your own company too. You sipped your coffee as you walked down the street, your feet leading you nowhere in particular when your eyes landed on the familiar mop of hair down the street. You stopped in your tracks, closing your eyes, you shook your head, when you opened your eyes there was no one in sight. You sighed, you're starting to hallucinate about Jay now, it wasn't good for your heart.

You continued your way down the street, ears picking up angry voices across the alleyway. You looked at your surroundings, not many people walk around nowadays. You told yourself you were just stretching your legs, but truthfully curiosity took the best of your senses and guided you across the alleyway where the voices became more clearer as you walked closer. You stood in the corner, your eyes squinting behind your glasses to take a closer look. "I want you to focus on your academics too, Jay. We don't want your silly little hobby to come in the way of your career." Your brows furrowed when your heart a high pitch feminine voice and a name so familiar you could write in your sleep. 

You crane your head to get a glimpse of the scene. There stood Jay, his head hung low as he avoided the eyes of two older people, presumably his mom and dad as they lectured him in front of their car. "Your music is taking up more of your time than your academics, don't forget you're going to be the hire of our business, the sooner you realize this the better it will be for you." Your heart sank as they went on and on about Jay's choices and how disappointed they are at him. Your eyes followed his parent's car as it left, then trailed towards the boy who now was crouched down on the road. He took a few rocks from the ground and threw them across the road, his face visibly contoured with hurt and anger. 

You took a step forward before deciding against it. You were eavesdropping, which you were sure wasn't welcomed with the scenario that unfolded right in front of your eyes, but watching him slump against the concrete wall, head between his hands, you wanted to comfort him, just like how he did when you were at your lowest. You wanted to help him, encourage him to not give up on his love for music just to satisfy his parents but with the image he had built around himself in the campus, it was impossible for you to just randomly show up to him to console. He would kill you with his stare before you even opened your mouth, so you decided to stay in the shadows and help him with his issues. By being a secret admirer, the book girlie inside of you was dancing in excitement.

Early morning in the campus was just how you imagined it would be, it carried a quiet kind of hush which felt too sacred to disturb. The sun had began to rise not long ago, casting long golden rays across the campus building, few of the students were scattered around the campus, you walked through the hallway which was nearly empty save for some lone students with headphones on or a book in hand, your footsteps were light but quick as you occasionally turned around to check in your surrounding. Your hands tightly clutched around your bag as you overworked your brain to map out the locker room in the building. You relaxed when you found the large 'Locker room' sign hung upon the metal rod, your eyes scanning the area nearby before entering inside. 

Few of the students were busy with their own things inside the room, none of them paying attention towards you. Your eyes scanned the area, feet moving towards the locker you were determined to find, you causally scanned the names on the lockers, totally nonchalant if anyone asked you. Your steps came to a halt when you came across the 'Park Jongseong' locker. Peeking your head at the entrance to check anyone's presence one last time, you hurriedly took out the letter you had neatly packed inside an envelope and slid it inside the locker from the small gap that was present. Your hands trembled, heartbeat erratic as you stepped away and started walking towards the cafeteria, your head hung low as you zipped your bag. 

You saw Jay pass by you with one of his band members, Heeseung, the vocalist as both of them animatedly chatted about something. Your eyes followed his features, he seemed to be far more relaxed as he laughed at something Heeseung said, that laugh almost reminded you of the night of the party. You wondered what they were doing in the campus early in the morning when your eyes landed on the new notice on the notice board along with various other banners which decorated the walls of the hallway. You stepped closer to have a clearer view of the notice displayed, Symphoria 25, the widely known college fest of your university. 

Your eyes went back to Jay and Heeseung who were now entering the locker room, their backs turned towards you. Symphoria, you'd heard a lot about the college fest, it draws in thousands of people not just from the campus but from the city and beyond. A perfect opportunity to showcase your talent and get exposure. Maybe Jay and his band had started early morning practice to perfect their art for the fest, it was inevitable that they would participate in the fest. You checked the time on your phone, you still had a good 20 minutes before your class started so you made your way back towards the locker room, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jay to see if he got your letter or not. 

The hallway had started filling in with the usual chatter of students, as soon as you were about to enter the locker room you caught Jay coming out of the room and in a reckless way to avoid facing him you turned around to run in the opposite direction. But luck wasn't by your side and your leg slipped and you fell, right in front of Jay, and his friend Heeseung. "Are you okay?" You recognized Heeseung's voice as he extended his hand for you to take. A few of the students gathered to watch the commotion. Your head was hung low, and you prayed the universe to swallow you whole instead of letting you face humiliation. You held Heeseung's hand to stand up, then immediately let go and hid your face with both of your hands. 

Heeseung chuckled at your antics, finding your embarrassed self quite endearing, he looked at Jay whose eyes were trained on you, a subtle frown adorning his face, lips pursed together. Jay tilted his head as he watched, you peeked from the gaps in between your fingers, head still down, your eyes caught the sight of your letter in between his fingers, the letter still sealed neatly. "Hey don't be embarrassed, things like this happen every time," you turned towards Heeseung, your hands still on your face as you nodded at his words and bolted out of the place and towards your class. 

Heeseung's eyes followed you till you turned around the corner, confusion etched upon his face like a question scribbled in a language he wasn't proficient in. He turned towards Jay, who was also looking at the direction you just ran to, his expressions blank but with a hint of curiosity behind his eyes. "I guess she was too humiliated to wait and talk, I genuinely thought she did this to have our attention," Heeseung broke the silence, making Jay look towards him. Now one would paint Heeseung as a stuck up individual after what he said, but it wasn't a regular sight for any of their band members to not have girls lining up to have a conversation with them, you'd be the first to avoid them all together. He was genuinely confused with your actions.

Your footsteps echoed off the walls of the hallway in frantic rhythm. Your hair sticking on your face and bag bouncing off your side. You reached towards your classroom door, slowing down just enough to avoid getting slammed on it. You slipped inside and scanned the room for an empty seat. Your chest raised and fell as you sat on an empty seat, you took deep breaths to look composed but the flush of your cheeks and the way your hands gripped the edge of the desk betrayed you. The professor entered the class and began the lecture but your mind drifted off towards the incident that happened back in front of the locker room. You slammed your head on the desk lightly to avoid attention, grimacing about how humiliating the incident was.

"You look tired, did you not get enough sleep?" You glanced towards Ava, who was happily munching her food while her doe eyes stared at you, "Yeah, couldn't sleep." She pouted at your words, shoving your shoulder lightly, "you should take care of yourself more, you worry me so much, you don't have anyone else other than me who takes care of you." You smiled awkwardly at her statement, internally grimacing. Her words are always sweet like honey, the kind that drips with warmth and affection until you realize what comes next, like she's trying to convince you that your light only shines when she's with you. 

Your eyes wandered towards the cafeteria door when students started talking in hushed whispered and gasp, there they stood Heeseung, Jay, Jake and Sunghoon, the four members of band, HYPHENIX. Ava followed your gaze, vast smile etching on her face, "aren't they just dreamy? You think Sunghoon's single?" Your head turned towards her instinctively as her voice reached your ears, "since when are you interested in them?" You don't remember her gushing about the band before, sure they were pretty popular but Ava was too obsessed with cheer to ever focus on anything else. She just shrugged, not bothering to reply, you frowned, following her line of vision where Jay was seated with his bandmates. 

Your breath hitched when you spotted the familiar looking envelope in Jay's hand, the seal broken off, he had read the letter. Your eyes traced from his hands to his face, watching, observing, like you always do. Jake was talking about something while nudging Jay, Heeseung throwing his back as he laughed and Sunghoon just shook his head, amused by his friends. Jay smiled softly, his eyes still trained on the letter in his hands, playing with its edges gently. You haven't seen him smile like that ever since you saw him, his expressions always so distant and reserved, one would think twice before approaching him. You could tell you weren't the only person to witness it when you heard whispers around you. 

"Wow I never knew he could smile like that!", "so the icy guitarist of HYPHENIX knows how to smile?", "is that a letter in his hand? A love letter maybe?", "didn't think of him as the romantic type." 

You turned your head back towards your food when you felt Jay's gaze travel towards your table, you hid your face by keeping your palm over half of your face. "Oh my Jay's looking towards me," your eyes met Ava's as she exclaimed happily, gathering attention from a few of the students sitting nearby. More whispers started arising after her exclamation cause indeed Park Jay was looking towards your table, at who? You weren't sure. Your mind unconsciously drifted towards the time when you fell down in front of Heeseung and Jay, and you hoped he didn't remember how you looked.

"Yah Jay you keep on looking at the envelope like it will come alive and tell you who sent you this..." You were making your way towards the last class of the day when you heard Jay's name, looking up you saw the music room sign above the closed door. You walked towards the half opened window trying to listen to what they were talking about. From where you were perched up, you could see Jay's side profile, Jake standing in front of him, you could see half of Sunghoon's face and Heeseung's back, all huddled up with their respective instruments in their hands. "I really wanna know who wrote this, I mean their words hit so close, it instantly lifted his mood as soon as he read it," Heeseung followed as others nodded. Your heart skipped a beat, you stepped away from the window. They said he loved your letter, that it instantly lifted his mood. You smiled sheepishly, a new skip in your step as you made your way towards your class. 

Maybe you could continue to support him like this, silently, from afar, without the fear of getting rejected. He would be aware that there's someone who silently has his back, and you wouldn't have to worry about being the center of attention. And that's what you did, you wrote letters for him, every week. Words you couldn't say out loud found a home on paper wrapped in a plain envelope. You poured your admiration, your care, and all the quiet things you felt into the letters. You slipped them into his locker, or tucked between library books you knew he'd borrow, each note was a small piece of your heart, anonymous but sincere. You watched him smile at the words, never knowing they were yours. He would sometimes write back to you, placing his letters inside the library book he last borrowed and when he would come and check the next time, he would smile at its disappearance. He would know you got his letter when you'd mention it in your next one. And somehow, that was enough.

And the campus was big but apparently not big enough to keep your little secret in between you and him. It wasn't the letters that caught everyone's attention, it was him. Jay had always been stoic, guarded, the kind of person who kept people at arm's length, never too close but lately that shifted. He smiled more, his posture relaxed, he didn't shoot anyone with his icy glare for merely talking with him. He lingered longer near his locker, reading something in his hands. His bandmates noticed the recurrence of the letters first then few of his admirers. Questions flooded in their minds, was the guitarist of HYPHENIX finally seeing someone? Who would be the lucky person to capture the heart of someone who never showed interest in dating? And If he was getting interested in someone then who's this mystery person?

And then one afternoon, someone overheard Jay talking with Sunghoon, his voice low as he murmured something along the lines of, "I received yet another letter today, they just know what to say to make my heart skip a bit." Hushed conversations between close friends, fell upon wrong ears and soon enough the campus buzzed with new gossip about this secret admirer of Jay. The talk wasn't about Jay anymore, they were more about what made Jay change, about the anonymous person who poured their heart out on the letters, about how the coldest guy on the campus might have someone who has enough warmth that melts his walls. And how maybe, just maybe, he was starting to care about those letters more. 

With each letter you wrote, your feelings for him kept on getting more intense and with all the gossip surrounding you about your own letters you wondered how Jay would react if he ever found out who was behind those letters. It didn't help that Ava seemed to be getting more interested in Jay's love life than focusing on her cheerleading auditions. You had to constantly hear her gush about this mystery admirer of Jay and how an anonymous person was getting more recognition than she ever could even if she tried her best. "Popularity shouldn't be your goal, being good at what you do should be!" You remember explaining this to her when she kept on complaining about how privileged the popular people are with everything. 

She wasn't wrong entirely, everything around the campus depended upon how good you were with something and ultimately how much audience you bought with it. Maybe she wasn't wrong about not getting into cheerleading yet because she wasn't famous enough to make the cut and not because she was just decent enough for the sport. Ava is attractive, has friends from every block of the campus, yet she somehow always sticks to you. She goes to parties, easily becomes the center of the room but somehow it's not enough, it's never enough. There's always someone who is prettier, more talented, more popular who steals her show and you get her. Perhaps that's the reason you let her guide and lead your university life instead of trying and failing to meet new people who would befriend you. 

For the next few weeks when you walked down your campus, every corner was slowly transformed into a living stage. The air surrounding last-minute rehearsals, buzz of sound checks vibrating against your ear drums, every corner of the university was filled with excitement. Symphoria wasn't just a college fest, it was an emotion, a movement held towards rising artists and their talents. By day the fest was filled with different stalls, and artists showcasing their raw talents to sharpen it for the night show. By the time the night arrives, the main stage would come alive with performances that shake the ground. You were excited to attend the last show of the fest as it was the night HYPHENIX would perform, the most talked about and most awaited performance of the whole fest. 

You made your way towards the locker room early in the morning to place the letter inside for Jay to read before his performance. This time though, you had bought a little bouquet of red roses to cheer him up a little with a note that is addressed to him in case someone else misplaced it. You couldn't open his locker enough to put the flowers inside so you decided to keep it above the locker. You walked out of the locker room before anyone could see you, leaving letters inside his locker had gotten a bit difficult with all the attention from the campus. Yet you woke up extra early to not get caught and cheer Jay up for his performance. 

You made your way towards the library to finish the rest of your assignments, dropping a message to Ava about meeting you in the cafeteria during lunch. You sat down, opening your laptop to get started. The library was relatively empty, not many students were in the mood to study when there's literal fest going on around the campus. You wondered if Jay will even have time to open his locker today, you heard they had been practicing extra hard for this performance. Lunch time rolled around but Ava still didn't reply to your text, you tried calling but no answer so you ate alone. You made your way towards the locker room to check on the flowers and letters, when you reached there was none, it made you smile at the thought that he received it before his performance just how you wanted. 

The evening started off with a blast, you made your way near the left side of the main stage. You look around to find Ava in the crowd and even send a few messages of your location in case she decides to find you. You frowned at her behavior, she was so excited to attend today's show, some of her favorite people were performing, not to forget her constantly ranting about being excited to watch HYPHENIX's performance. They were the last act to perform, everyone from the campus gathered around to watch you with banners in their hands. You crane your head to see if they are coming. 

They walked on the stage, your eyes landed on Jay and suddenly the crowd didn't matter. They got in their position, the noise faded, the lights dimmed around everyone else but them and you stood frozen in your spot, eyes never leaving his silhouettes. Heeseung led up to the mic, the crowd erupted, waves of cheers and reckless energy filled up the air, but your eyes were locked on Jay. Jake, the drummer chimed in and suddenly the world was nothing but sound. Jay's guitar and Sunghoon's keyboard roared to life, drums thundered beneath your feet, and the music hit you like a memory you didn't know you'd been holding onto. It wasn't just some random noise pieced together, it was emotion, pouring from the stage and crashing into you like fire and rain.

You watched them, the way their fingers moved on their instruments, how Heeseung's voice danced a high note, how they closed their eyes like the song was something they felt, not just performed and in that moment, it felt personal like somehow, they were singing straight to you. The lights flashed on the stage, the chorus soared. People around you screamed and swayed, but you stood still, like you were spellbound. It was more than music. It was a moment you didn't want to end and in that moment, nothing existed but the stage, the sound, and the feeling of you falling deeper and deeper for Jay. 

You felt a wave of emotion so overwhelming that tears strung in your eyes, their performance ended and they bid their goodbyes. The crowd cheered, you were sure they would be the talk of campus if not city for a whole year. Jay looked happy as he made his way backstage and before you could think your feet led you towards the back of the stage to catch a glimpse of him, it was one of the important parts of his musical career after all, you could at least muster up the courage to congratulate him. And maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be bad to introduce yourself into his life as someone he once met at a random high school party. You were about to enter backstage when a volunteer bumped into you, all the papers in his hands flying everywhere. You managed to apologize to him as you helped him with the papers but your eyes were somewhere else, in search of a person you couldn't get a hold of. 

You made your way deeper into the back of the stage, volunteers and performers going on about their works. You located Jake and Sunghoon at the far corner of the stage, Heeseung sitting close beside as they wore brightest smiles and talked with each other about something. You tried finding Jay, your heart beating fast as you tried finding someone who would tell you about his whereabouts. "Uh-hello, do you know where Jay went? The guitarist from HYPHENIX?" The girl randomly pointed towards the exit of the backstage, you thanked her before following the direction she gave. As soon as you were out of the door, the coolness of the night air made you shiver. 

Your footsteps slowed, the moonlight casted a soft glow on your face, yet it was still relatively dark. You took a step forward, then another, then you heard voices, familiar and close. Your steps halted when you caught two silhouettes standing close to each other, then your world stopped. One second they were talking, Jay and Ava, the next second his hands were on her neck, pulling her close. Ava stepped forward, her hands reaching for his shirt to stabilize herself. Your hands didn't drop your phone, but it slipped a little in your grip as your breath stilled. A sharp pain sliced in your chest, the silence of the surroundings more louder than the ringing in your ears. 

It felt like someone pierced their hand in your heart and squeezed it without any care, like your soul has been ripped apart without any warning. You felt the kind of pain that didn't echo, it throbbed in your chest, deep and ugly. You blinked once, twice, then again for good measure, hoping and praying this was just an illusion, a misunderstanding but it wasn't. It was real. Jay and Ava, kissing each other like the world around them didn't exist anymore. You stood there, watching him hold her like he's afraid if she let go she'll disappear. Your eyes landed on the bouquet of red roses in Jay's hand, the one you brought for him, confusion and hurt etched upon your face, unable to comprehend anything.

Neither of them noticed your presence, they didn't see the way your hands trembled and how your lips parted slightly like your body was trying to breathe through the ache in your heart. They didn't see the way your eyes glossed over with a kind of hurt you knew would take years to heal. You took a step back, suddenly hyper aware of your surroundings, the distant sound of people leaving the campus, the humid air, the floor beneath your shoes. You turned around, mind still hazy, eyes unfocused, you stepped on an empty water bottle. Then you hear a soft call of your name, you shut your eyes closed as if it would somehow help you disappear from the unwanted moment you tried to avoid. You heard footsteps coming closer and decided you couldn't possibly excuse your way out of this uncomfortable situation so you took a deep breath and turned back around. 

Your eyes landed on Jay before they could even acknowledge Ava, he tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowed as he watched you. Ava's voice broke your attention from him, she made her way towards you, her arms enveloping one of yours as she beamed at Jay. "This is my best friend Jay," He smiled in your direction, your heart skipped a bit and Ava continued while looking at you, "I told him the truth, that I wrote those letters for him, I couldn't help myself from confessing to him after today's performance, you are proud of me right? I finally got the love of my life." You never once broke your gaze away from Jay as you listened to Ava go on and on about something which you both know she didn't do. You silently listened to her take the credit for the things you did, Jay's smile was wide as he looked at Ava and just like that you couldn't bring yourself to tell the truth.

"Let me drive you both home, it's too late to go by yourself." You sucked in a breath, your head turned towards Ava who nodded enthusiastically at Jay's suggestion. "I'll manage to go by myself, I don't really live too far," Jay shook his head at your words, "It's my responsibility to take care of my girlfriend's loved ones, wouldn't dream of getting on your bad side." Ava chuckled at Jay's words as she leaned against his arms, his own hands slipping on her shoulder pulling her close. You felt like throwing up, you needed answers. Jay pulled out his phone to inform his band members that he'll be leaving first and joining them later. 

Reluctantly you agreed with Jay after Ava forced you to say yes and now you were seated in the back of Jay's car as you watched him act lovey-dovey with his supposed secret admirer. Ava's home arrived first and Jay got off to kiss her goodbye, you sighed, lending your head on the window wondering how you were supposed to get through with this. Jay entered the car, you were still sitting on the backseat. He eyed you from the rearview, "I think I've seen you before." You looked at Jay when you heard his voice, contemplating on whether to tell him that he did see you before or not, "well, we go to the same campus...." You trailed off softly, not really minding if he could hear your answer or not, your mind was haywire with everything that happened today anyway. 

Jay took one last look at you before shaking his head, chuckling lightly and agreeing with your words. You sent a quick text to Ava about wanting to have a talk with her about the stunt she pulled and she replied she'll tell you tomorrow. You felt the car come to a halt and you straightened up, eyes taking in the familiar surroundings of your apartment, you thanked Jay but he stopped you. He got out of the car and towards your door and opened it, "you don't have to do all this, Jay." But you smiled at his sweet gesture regardless and got out of his car. He bid you goodbye and went off as you watched his car retrieve from your apartment's parking lot. 

You couldn't sleep the whole night, mind racing with all sorts of things. The sight of them kissing each other playing in front of your eyes like a mere flashback from a dream you wish you never had, cruelly brought to life. You tossed and turned in your bed, but neither the tears stopped nor did the hollow feeling creeping up your chest. You decided you can't take it anymore, your fingers tapping on Ava's number before you could think. It was late at night, her parents were probably asleep but they always had a soft spot for you. She picked up the phone on the last ring, her voice groggy. 

"What are you trying to do? We both know you didn't write those letters..." you heard some shuffling from her end, "right I didn't, but who cares?" You frowned at her nonchalant answer, "the one who wrote the letter might come forward and expose you Ava, it won't end well for you, did you not hear how Jay is?" She groaned at your words, "well if the person was brave enough they wouldn't have pulled this secret admirer shit, I need Jay to get in the cheer team, this is my chance." You sighed, rubbing your forehead as it had started aching, "your relationship is based on lies Ava, it won't do you good, trust me. You're hurting someone else while trying to reach your goals-" 

"Don't nag at me, I've already taken the leap so there's no going back, I like Jay and I want to be with him so let it go...just for once, for me, let it go please..." you sighed but stayed silent wondering if you were strong enough to watch Jay be with Ava when she clearly was using him just to gain popularity while pretending to be you, Ava continued when she didn't hear anything from your side, "I'm your best friend, I never asked you to do anything for me, please ignore what I did just this once, I'll treat him right I swear." You cut the call after talking to her for some more time, things got messier than they were supposed to be, and you wondered how things will unfold from now on. 

Earlier attending university was something you looked forward to as the constant chattering of students, the latest gossip, the various events and classes helped you ignore how lonely you actually were. But now everywhere you go, there is at least one person talking about the perfect couple Ava and Jay. You tried your best to ignore but you couldn't as Ava started gaining popularity now that Jay won't leave her side whenever he isn't with his bandmates. And you, despite wanting to lay low and finish your degree quietly, were unwillingly dragged into the Ava-Jay love drama since you were her so-called best friend. 

Being best friend of not so famous Ava was hard, but being her best friend after she got famous was harder. People randomly started approaching you to gain latest information about their relationship or how they behave out of the campus. They bombarded you with questions about Ava and what she liked and disliked, like you were some kind of assistant they could get information from. It was annoying, and downright disrespectful. You never wanted the spotlight but even if you did, you knew you wouldn't be happy by being labelled as someone's girlfriend's best friend. It was inconvenient at first, then it became blatantly dehumanizing when people started suggesting Ava to be with someone of her 'level' that you were just some charity case of a friend for her. What hurt you the most was Ava's reactions to those things, she just laughed with them, like she couldn't see how disrespectful people were towards you. So naturally you tried your best to ignore her and her 'well-wishers' all together. 

"Come on, don't be like that! Jay has told me to make sure you'll be present at the celebration party of their successful performance at the college fest, you know how big of a deal it is for him and his friends," you continued typing your essay as Ava sat on the edge of your bed, begging you to attend the party. "I'll see if I can go...I'm not sure though..." she stomped her feet as she made her way towards your desk, hands sliding into yours to get your attention on her, "please? We haven't spent time together since so long," you sighed, releasing her hold from your hand, "it's because you're always so busy with your cheer, or Jay, or your new friends and not because I don't have time for you." 

"It's not like that, you don't like being around people, I can't always cater to your needs right? You should be considerate towards me too, you're so mean," you close your laptop after saving your document and look at her as she begins gathering her things. "I didn't mean it like that Ava-" "I'll give you space, you don't seem to be in a good mood, think about your decision, I'll wait for you at the party and if you won't come I won't go either." You opened your mouth to say something but she was already out of the door. You put your head in your hands as you pulled at your hair, deciding sleeping would be best for now since you had class in early morning. 

Attending early morning class felt like stepping into a world half-asleep. Your brain lagged behind as the professor went on and on about topics you were too tired to pay attention to. One of your hands grip on the coffee cup like your life depends on it and other drawing doodles on the margins of the notebook you had opened to take notes. Your eyes hurt and stifle a yawn, thanking the universe when the professor concludes the class. You check your schedule, there's still a 30 minute gap before your next, maybe you could get a refill of your coffee to go on about your day. You smiled to yourself when you stepped out of the class, feeling accomplished that you managed to survive the morning class as you made your way towards the cafe near your university for your daily dose of coffee. 

"Hey!" You turned around halfway through the campus when you heard someone call out to you, "in a rush?" Jay waved at you as he made his way towards you, his guitar slung over one shoulder, his smile was easy-going as he finally stopped right in front of you. Sweat formed in your hands as you gulped, "you need something from me? I haven't heard from Ava since yesterday so I don't know where she is..." He laughed slightly, motioning you to continue your walk as he stepped beside you, "no, I'm not here to ask you about Ava, though I know I used to do that a lot but I'm here to talk with you about something else." You looked at him then immediately looked forward because how can you be this close to him and act sane? You adjusted your glasses on your face in nervousness. 

"Then what are you here for?" He looked at you, biting his lips in thought and you tore your eyes away to not stare for too long. "For the party...." you halted your steps when you reached the cafe, Jay opened the door and held it for you. You meekly thanked him before entering the cafe, "what about it?" Jay ordered his coffee and you ordered yours, he paid for both the drinks before you could even open your bag to get your purse. "After our performance at Symphoria, we've got quite a few gigs and events to perform at, not to forget it's the day Ava finally confessed to me about writing those letters," you suck in your breath as both of you made your way out of the cafe and back into the university's campus. 

He continued, "those letters have helped me a lot, I was going through a tough time but they helped me so much, and they also inspired us to deliver that performance at the fest. So the success of that performance means a lot to my bandmates, me and Ava alike, and since you're her best friend, I need you to be a part of it." He took a few strides forward and turned towards you making you stop your walk, "please? Attend it for me?" You sighed, attend it for Jay? Now you could do that, but you weren't sure if you'd be able to watch them without losing your sanity. "I'm not a party person, Jay and it doesn't help that Ava has other friends to be with, she won't always be by my side and I don't want to hold her back.." 

He shook his head dismissing your words before you could elaborate further on how pathetic you'd look trying to enjoy the party alone, a party you don't even want to be at, "I'll be by your side then, all throughout the party hm? I'll make sure you won't feel lonely, I promise." He held out his pinky finger in front of you and if you were being honest he looked so silly you wished you could click a picture but you just sighed, eyes switching from his hands to his face, he looked at you expectantly, "I take pinky promises seriously," the corners of your lips twitched a little as you raised your hand to lock your pinky finger with his. He pulled you close, grinning widely, "thank you for coming, Ava and I would love to have you there," he ruffled your hair before jogging off towards the university's music room. 

You faced the mirror, one last time, running your fingers through your hair, you opened your phone, Jay's and Ava's messages lying one above the other, both reminding you to not forget about the party. You fixed your glasses, a hint of irritation seeping in your features as you scanned your reflection, if you ditched your glasses for looks then you won't be able to enjoy the party in HD, but the glasses made you look like the loser you always need to read about in your books. You huffed a breath, reminding yourself about your no more stereotyping rule, your phone started buzzing. You looked at the caller ID, Ava. 

"Hey!" You put your phone away from your ear to recheck the called ID, still Ava, "hello?" You questioned as you chew on your lips, "it's me Jay...Ava's phone was in my hand so I called you from her phone, I asked Sunghoon to pick you up from your apartment and I think he would reach in 10 minutes or so, I just called to inform you that.." you heartbeat quickened after hearing Jay's voice, then you registered the words that left his mouth, "Sunghoon? In 10 minutes? I could've taken a cab, he didn't have to leave the party for me, I feel bad." You could hear the music blasting in the background and you wondered if he could even hear you, "nah, I wanted to come pick you up myself since I invited you but my hands are full right now so I asked Sunghoon, and I don't want you to travel alone in the dark, it's not safe out there. See you soon, Ava and I are waiting for you." 

You stood in front of your apartment building awkwardly fidgeting with your fingers as you waited for Sunghoon's car to pull up. He didn't take much time, arriving fairly on time. He got out of his seat, his height making you take a few steps back so you don't have to hurt your neck while talking to him. He gave you a smile, his eyes landing on your heel-cladded feet before they locked once again with your eyes. You subconsciously tuck your hair behind your ear, blushing up your cheeks under his intense gaze. He offered you his hand, and you held it after looking at it for two seconds too long. He led you towards the passenger's seat, opened the door and guided you inside the car. You thanked him, a giddy smile plastered on your face as you reminded yourself that this was the supposed bare minimum, but then your thoughts went back to the same high school party where your then boyfriend didn't even look at you, much less open doors for you. 

Sunghoon's car reflected his personality, sleek, dark, and polished to perfection. The smell of leather seats of the car mixed with a faint scent of his cologne, and music turned low enough to barely register. You fasten your seatbelt and watch him start the car from your peripheral vision. He didn't say much, and from the time you've noticed him you realized he wasn't a man for many words but whenever he did speak, the attention would be on him. You let yourself relax on the seat and he glanced at your movements briefly. "Thank you for picking me up, you didn't have to, but thank you regardless," You saw him shake his head at your words, a small, barely visible smile dancing on his lips, "it's fine, wouldn't want a pretty girl like you to travel alone at night." You choked on the air, shocked at his words, he laughed loudly, his fang-like teeth showing just enough to make you question if he was just teasing or being serious. 

"You're teasing me, didn't think of you as a type to do that," He looked at your pouty face briefly before his attention went back onto the road, "you're easier to tease somehow, but I wasn't teasing when I said you're pretty." He didn't look at you to see your reaction, but your eyes were trained on his profile. His skin was pale, smooth like porcelain under the car's light, his lips full and precise, there was a cold grace to him, and even when he said nothing, he seemed to speak in presence, posture poised, expression unreadable, a flick of his gaze enough to silence a room. He got out of the car when he reached Jay's apartment where the party was in full blast, he helped you get out of the car and led you towards the main door of Jay's house.

"This place feels familiar," you mutter under your breath, Sunghoon looks at you, his head tilted in your direction, leaning in slightly to hear you better over the gradually increasing noise of music blasting through the speakers as you walk. You shake your head at him, laughing awkwardly as you try to figure out the weird feeling in your stomach. The door bursts open even before Sunghoon's hand stretches enough to open it for you, and your breath is knocked off as Jay stands in front of you, an easy going smile etched upon his face. "I'm glad you're here..." he smiles so bright that it's almost impossible to not mirror his smile, like he's genuinely glad you're there to celebrate. "I had to be," your eyes wander off towards Sunghoon who is now standing beside Jay, leaning on the doorframe watching you two, "you left me with little choices to make." 

Sunghoon lightly chuckled as those words left your mouth, shaking his lightly at your silent jab at Jay's stubborn behavior he made his way inside the house, leaving you standing alone with Jay. "Where's Ava?" You questioned when you didn't find her waiting for you beside Jay, he sighed, head turning back to look towards the ongoing party, "she must be somewhere, I still have her phone on me, but she's nowhere to be found." You frowned hearing his statement and he quickly made space for you to enter the party, "she gets like that after drinking, she wanders off and suddenly you lose track of her." Jay chuckled at your response still his eyes scanned to room for his girlfriend's presence. 

"Jay?" You softly called him, he hummed in return leaning slightly towards you to hear you better. You held your breath as you looked at him, his eyes still wandering across the room to find Ava but then slowly his eyes turned towards you, your lips twitched when his eyes locked in with yours and you gulped before continuing, "go find her, you don't really have to be by my side all night." Jay chuckled at your words, straightening up, he hooked his index finger on the bracelet of your wrist, "well you don't have anything else to do so please help me find my beloved girlfriend," and he pulled you with him into the crowd. 

You take in the scene, you spot some familiar faces in the crowd, laughing, drinking, talking with each other. Your heels tap against the floor and you walk exactly behind Jay as he makes room for both of you to walk. The lights flicker in bursts of neon, casting an exciting glow on the crowd. The buzz of conversations rise and fall, people too drunk or too indulgent in the mood to care about the surroundings. You catch a glimpse of Jake talking with some people, beside him Sunghoon and Heeseung are involved in deep conversation about something only they know. Your eyes fall upon where Jay's finger is hooked upon your bracelet, a sigh leaves your lips and in a moment of distraction your shoulder bumps into someone and you lose your balance slightly. 

You hold onto Jay's shoulder with one hand to regain your balance and he stops in his tracks, eyes narrowing towards the person you stumbled into, "try to look where you are going next time." The person just waves his hand, mumbling apologies incoherently as he backs off towards the opposite direction. You feel Jay's hand curl around your wrist, firmly and when you lift your head up, he's already looking at you. "You walk in front of me now, you're wearing heels, if you sprain your leg it will hurt like a bitch." You laugh slightly at his tone, his hand pulling you gently towards him and he positions himself right behind you. He's still holding your wrist, his other hand giving your shoulder a slight push to get you walking. 

He's so close behind, you could faintly feel his breath on your shoulder. Your eyes scan for your best friend and you turn around towards Jay when you spot her sitting in a corner with few people, drinking happily and laughing with her whole body, "she's there, I think you should get her, I'll get something to drink for myself in the kitchen." Jay's eyes follow the path your finger is pointed at, he sighed in relief, nodding in your direction and making his way towards her. You don't have the courage to watch him go towards her so you make your way inside the kitchen, your hand tracing the spot which Jay held not too long ago. You poured yourself some soft drink, not really in the mood to drink just yet.

"Are you a baby?" You flinched slightly, turning to your side only to find Sunghoon leaning against the counter not too far from you as he poured himself a drink. Your eyebrows furrowed at his words, he looks at you, slowly making his way close to you, "only babies drink soft drinks." You roll your eyes, free hand fixing your glasses. He chuckled lightly, amused at your behavior. "I'm not a baby Mr. Park," he laughed loudly, "that's exactly what a baby would say, your pouty lips and puffed up cheeks aren't helping your case pretty." You immediately straightened up, lips pursed and face blank as you gave him a deadpan look, "I'm not a baby..." He turned around towards the counter, he mixed a few drinks from the table and slided the red solo up towards you. 

"You don't seem like a type to drink frequently but trust me with this one, my friends say I'm quite good with drinks." You throw him a suspicious look, hand curling around the cup, you bring it closer to your face to inspect. "What are you both ?" Your head snapped towards the voice, Jay and Ava joining you two as Sunghoon settled beside you, his drink already half empty. "I'm trying to get her to loosen up a bit, she's always so tense." Jay's eyes narrow at his friend's words, "you don't have to drink if you don't want to," You shake your head at Jay's words and you're about to reply when Ava cuts you off, "oh my god! I've tried to get her to start drinking but she always declines me," then her eyes fall upon Sunghoon, a faint smirk forming on her lips.

"I literally made this in front of her, will you try it for me pretty? Just a taste, you won't have to continue to drink it if you don't like it." Ava's smile fell as soon as Sunghoon's attention shifted from her to you, his eyes soft as he looked at you expectantly. Jay sighed from where he was standing, his hand sliding across Ava's waist as he leaned his weight slightly on her, "Sunghoon, if she's not comfortable-" Sunghoon's hand reached forward towards your hand, which was sporting the red solo cup, he gently curled his fingers around your hand and brought the cup towards his mouth, never breaking eye contact with you as he took a sip from your cup, "there, I'm alive, now your turn, just a sip pretty." 

You exhaled a breath you didn't even know you were holding, fingers trembling slightly under Sunghoon's. You brought the cup near you, eyes darting around the other three before you took a tentative sip from the drink. Your eyes widened, a smirk forming on Sunghoon's face, "it'd good right?" You nodded your head with more enthusiasm than you initially wanted to show. Sunghoon laughed, releasing his hold from your hand, eyes falling upon the couple in front of him with smug confidence, "I told ya I'm good at it." Jay gave you a small smile, "you sure you like it?" You nodded your head again, taking yet another sip from the cup and gulping down the whole drink. Sunghoon whistled slowly, feeling proud of himself. 

Ava looked at you, "you never drink when I offer...you're so rude and mean to me." Jay sighed pulling her closer, "some people need guidance during their first drinks baby, Sunghoon is good at that. It's not about her being mean to you." From where you stood, you could tell Ava wanted this conversation to go like it did with other people, with them agreeing to every word that spilled from her cherry lips, "want me to make you another one?" You tore your eyes away from Ava and turned towards Sunghoon, "please? This is the first time I'm actually enjoying a drink." And just like that, the night stretched ahead, you smiled to yourself, anticipation settling deep inside you for the night. 

"You're tipsy, how many drinks did you have?" You were perched upon the balcony, looking over people who were playing in the pool and around it when Ava's voice cut through the silence. You hummed, standing up and leaning against the railings to have a good look at Jay's house. Your eyes trailed towards the other side of his backyard where people were roaming around, casually. "Is that a gazebo?" You muttered to yourself, leaning in more, squinting your eyes, your glasses slipping off a little. "You're going to fall down if you keep on leaning on the railings like that," you looked down towards the ground, Jay waving off his hand to signal you to back off a little. 

"I won't fall," you yelled back, laughing as you fixed your glasses back. Jay shook his head, one hand on his hips while the other massaged his temple, "come down, bring Ava with you." You pouted at his words but still stepped back, holding Ava's hand in yours, you dragged her towards the pool. "Hello ladies, wanna go for a swim?" You smiled at Jake when he approached you both, you released Ava's hand when Jay stood by her side. "Don't wanna," Ava whined as Jay tried to persuade her to join. You looked away, smiling at Jake as you swayed a little, he chuckled at your dazed out state and offered his hand for you to hold. "I'm good though, I don't need your support, but since you're being so nice and offering me your help, I'll take it." Jake laughed as he guided you towards the edge of the pool.

Heeseung joined you and Jake, offering you water, "you wanna go for a swim?" You denied Heeseung's suggestion, eyes looking at the pool as you pouted, "I can't swim." Jake mimicked your expressions, but he looked like a kicked puppy more than a sulky one. You laughed, stepping forward and pinching his cheeks, "you're cute Jake." His eyes widened at your actions before turning into an icy glare when Heeseung slumped forward trying to control his laughter. Jay, Ava and Sunghoon joined you three as the boys teased Jake and occasionally your non swimmer self. You felt at ease, you were expecting to be crying in your apartment by now but you were glad it wasn't like that. None of Jay's friends left you alone, each sharing some moments with you. And by spending your time with them you realized why they are so likeable.

You were sitting on one of the chairs by the pool, Ava still beside you. The boys were already playing in the pool, your eyes drifted towards Sunghoon and Heeseung who were now seated on the opposite edge of the pool making fun of Jake who was now being chased by Jay for trying to drown him. Sunghoon's eyes locked with yours and his lips moved to say something, in your own haze you couldn't comprehend what he was trying to say so you got up, edging closer towards the pool, "what did you say?" Sunghoon laughed at your confused self and you pouted. He opened his mouth to repeat what he said when you felt a pair of hands press hard against your back. 

Your heart stuttered, feet losing contact with the ground. Your confusion quickly turned into terror and the next thing you knew, your body hit the water. The water was colder than you expected, it swallowed you whole. The noises of the surrounding vanished, replied by a deafening silence. Your hands flailed, legs kicking in panic. Your lungs felt like they were going to collapse, your mouth filled with the taste of chlorine and fear. A pair of arms circled around your waist, pulling your body towards the surface. You gasped as you were finally able to breathe, your chest aching. Someone took off your glasses from your face, your hands grabbing onto the person's shoulder like you were afraid they would let go. 

You felt someone else chiming in to help, pushing you on the edge as few people surrounded you. Your vision slightly blurry as you tried to ground yourself, "Ava are you crazy? Why would you push your own best friend into the pool when you clearly know she can't swim?" You were sure that it was Sunghoon who yelled at Ava for her reckless behavior, your head turned towards your left to see Jay by your side, one of his hands was cradling your head while the other removed hair from your face. You turner your head towards the right where Sunghoon was still going off on Ava, her shoulders slumped as she tried to reason out, "I thought it would be fun-"

"Fun?" Ava's eyes turned towards you, her eyes widening at Jay's sharp tone. He helped you sit up straight, Jake crouching beside you to wrap you in a towel. You shivered, because of the water or Jay's expression, you didn't know. Jay helped you get up and sit down on the chair, your legs trembling slightly. His hand slipped around your waist. "Is this your idea of fun, Ava? She could've gotten into serious trouble if I wasn't swimming near her." You looked at her, wishing to find remorse in her eyes but all you saw was humiliation and anger as she glared at you. She turned around, making her way back into the house.

"I'm so sorry about that, you aren't hurt right?" You shook your head, lips trembling slightly, "I'm fine, just a little shock that's it." Jay nodded at your words, sighing as he took in his surroundings. "You guys go enjoy the party inside, I'll take care of this." He motioned Jake, Heeseung and Sunghoon to lead the crowd back inside. "Take care of yourself, yeah?" Sunghoon requested before going back inside with everyone else. "You aren't responsible for her actions, plus she didn't mean to do it in the wrong way, she's always been like that..." Jay's eyes snapped towards you in lightning speed, "that still doesn't mean what she did was right, you could've gotten seriously hurt." 

You shivered again when the wind passed by you, your head was starting to spin. "I'll bring you some dried clothes, you'll catch fever otherwise," You nodded at his words, your chest and throat aching. Jay lifted your face with his hand on your chin, your breath hitched at the proximity. He slipped on your glasses, adjusting it on your face for you. "Thank you," you mumbled, not daring to say it louder, "I can see you clearly now." Jay laughed, losing his balance on the chair, you extended your hand and he happily grabbed it to balance himself. "I'm glad you can see me now." You laughed with him, amused by everything that unfolded in today's party. 

You were perched on the bench beneath the tree on the university's campus. Scrolling through your phone in search of something to distract you while you wait for your next class to start. You looked up at the tree above you, its green leaves falling upon you inconveniently. You packed your belongings back in your bag, pocketed your phone and remembered you had to borrow some books from the library for research purposes. "You seem to be so at peace after wreaking havoc in my life," you turned towards the source of voice, frowning at the way Ava walked towards you, eyes scrutinizing your presence. "What are you saying?"

"The pool wasn't even that deep, Jay and his friends were swimming in it just fine, why did you have to overreact like that, do you even know how much Jay has been lecturing me about that incident?" Ava huffed as she reached near you, crossing her arms and waiting for your reply as if you were a murderer waiting for your conviction. "They could swim just fine because they knew how to swim, if that's your logic why didn't you jump in the pool? You also don't know how to swim right?" Her expression flattered, hands going on her hips as she scoffed at your words, "you know I care about you, I didn't do it because I wanted to harm you, yet I'm the bad guy here, how would I know you'd end up like that?" 

You rolled your eyes at her words, but the slight pity in your heart for her was overpowering your senses, "why would you even push me there in the first place?" She stomped her leg, pouting at you as if you denied her favorite candy, "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, tell Jay and his friends that you forgave me okay? Bye." You opened your mouth to say something but she was already walking away from you. Finding the boys wasn't very hard considering they spent most of their free time in the music room. You took in a deep breath before you knocked on the door. You pushed open the door, peeking in to see if it was occupied, Jake was the first person your eyes landed on, beside him sat Heeseung, both of them pausing mid-discussion. Sunghoon sat a few feet away, hands on his keyboard and beside him sat Jay, his guitar on his lap.

You stood at the doorway, not exactly sure why you even decided to entertain Ava's idea but you did it, so she won't have another reason to whine at you and also because you wanted to have some reason to be near Jay, even for a while. "Don't stand there looking like a lost puppy, you planning on coming in?" Your internal monologue ended quickly as Heeseung words rang in your ears. You awkwardly shuffled inside, closing the door behind. "Um-" You started, internally criticising yourself for not thinking through before you entered. Your eyes wandered towards the boys sitting in the room, four pairs of eyes, all focused towards you. 

"Come sit here pretty," blush rose upon your cheeks as Sunghoon pointed towards the empty chair beside Jay, you nodded sheepishly, and made yourself comfortable. You were about to start saying something when your eyes landed on them, everyone just went back on doing what they were doing previously like you weren't present there at all, your brows furrowed in confusion and you wondered if you should say what you wanted to say or just slip out of the room. "Guys-" And just like that, everyone's attention was back on you, "yeah?" Jake urged you to continue and you shifted in your seat to turn towards Jay.

"I just wanted to say that the pool incident wasn't that big of a deal, things like that happen when you're trying to play pranks with your friends anyway," you laughed awkwardly, "I don't want you to be upset with Ava because of that." There was a brief moment of silence after you finished what you wanted to say, the silent stretching long enough for you to start rambling again, "she's a very good friend, she has always been by my side when I had no one, she can be a bit childish at times but she's sweet at heart-" "Are you trying to tell that to us or yourself pretty?" 

"You, ofcourse." You answered quickly, but fidgeting with your hands was a dead giveaway of your real feelings. Jay put his guitar at his side, sighing once before turning to look at you, "did Ava ask you to do this?" You shook your head no, one hand raising to fix your glasses in place. "I saw you talking with her-" "Oh my God, you did?" "I was lying but you busted your own lie with this one." Your shoulders slumped in defeat, "okay maybe I did come to you because she told me but I was about to do that regardless." You blinked at them, smiling and waiting for them to say something, "you wounded me, we thought you wanted to hangout with us." Your eyes widened at Jake's words, "why would I want to hang out with you guys?"

Heeseung's hand clutched his heart, slouching forward as if it physically pained him to hear that sentence leave your mouth, Jake's hands flew on his mouth, Jay had an amused grin on his face and Sunghoon just smirked, "I'm sorry we aren't cool enough for you to hangout with us pretty.." he laughed watching color drain off your face. "No, it's not like that- I mean- wait you guys- you're twisting the plot, I'm not Regina George!" You sulked slightly, crossing your arms as you watched them topple over laughing at your panicked state, "I just wanted to say that I did not think you guys would want to hang out, since you know...we aren't close, I'm just Ava's best friend."

"You could be my best friend if you want," Jake smiled, throwing an exaggerated wink in your direction, you laugh as he threw his finger hearts. "Seriously though, you're not just Ava's best friend, you're fun on your own okay? Why wouldn't we want to hang out with you, we literally let you in the music room without further interrogating you!" A genuine smile tugged at your face at Heeseung's words, which stretched into a full blown grin when the others nodded their heads in agreement. "And what Ava did was wrong, and she should have apologized to you then and there but she didn't, which was again, very wrong of her." You couldn't bring yourself to deny Sunghoon's words.

Your eyes fell upon Jay who was silent all through this portion of conversation, he sat still, eyes unfocused as he stared ahead, his brows furrowed. You could tell he was listening but had his mind somewhere else, "Jay?" Your soft voice brought him back from his thoughts, he looked into your eyes, "Let's just move past this, guys..." and no one could bring themselves to debate with you further. "It's my birthday in two weeks, we're planning a trip, I was hoping you'll join us.." You pointed your index finger towards yourself, as if anyone inviting you for their birthday was something you had only thought of in your luxury dreams list, Sunghoon gave you a deadpan look, "who else?" Yeah that gave you the answer you were looking for. 

The trip to Jay's birthday arrived more quickly than you could decipher. Jake informed you that the trip was more like a staycation on Jay's vacation home, from the moment you arrived at Jay's vacation home you knew you've stepped into something exquisite. The gated driveway winds through lush green gardens until the villa reveals itself, the sleek architecture, coastal elegance and everything about it screams luxury. As Jay pushed open the grand double doors, you're greeted by high vaulted ceilings, polished marble floors, and floor-to-ceiling glass panels that blur the line between indoors and the shimmering ocean beyond, you could hear Ava gasp from where she was standing beside you, Heeseung just chuckled, nudging you to go forward. 

The scent of the ocean lingered in the air, and Jay informed everyone about their sleeping arrangements. "Everyone gets their own room?" Jake chuckled at your bewildered, stepping closer to help you put the luggage in your room. You made your way through the open-living room plan towards the first floor where your room would be. You, Heeseung and Sunghoon would be sleeping on the first floor whilst Jake, Jay and Ava would be on the ground floor. When everyone was done checking out the interior, your footsteps took you towards the exterior of the house, where the real magic lied. 

A pathway of natural stone leads directly to the secluded beach. The sand is soft, untouched and the water crystal clear. There was not a single soul in sight, only the rhythmic lull of waves and the occasional cry of a distant seagull. "Wow, baby! This is literal heaven," your eyes wandered towards Ava who was now clinging onto Jay's arms like he would disappear if she let go. He smiled back at her, ruffling her hair as he pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. You looked away, towards the beach where waves crashed into the shore in a gentle kiss. Your chest tightened, a small frown appearing on your face unintentionally. "You good pretty?" Sunghoon nudged your shoulders with his, his gaze trained towards the serene beauty in front of his eyes. "Yes I am-" "Let's see the beach from up front," before you could reply to Sunghoon you felt yourself getting dragged towards the beach by Ava, Jay shouting behind you to be careful. You looked back, Sunghoon giving you an amused look before retreating his steps back into the villa. 

Jake called you back after sometime, deciding that since it was already late, everyone could eat the dinner and sleep away the exhaustion to properly enjoy tomorrow. Everyone wordlessly agreed, too tired to explore further. Everyone bid their goodbye. You went into the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water before you went back into your room, your footsteps light. You poured yourself some water, taking a water bottle with you since you felt too lazy to get out of your room again. You slowly made your way towards the staircase leading towards the first floor when you heard light giggles. Your head turned towards the voices instinctively. 

Jay had Ava backed up against the wall in between their rooms, their limbs tangled together with a quiet urgency. Jay kissed her like he was falling, fast and fearless and she kissed him back like she knew how to catch, but never intended to. Jay's hand moved from her waist to the door handle, opening it and backing Ava into her room. The door clicked shut behind them, and you still stood there, watching, like you always did. You gripped the bottle tightly, heart heavy and hollow at the same time. You made your way inside your room before your tear could manage to escape. The door clicked shut behind you with more force than you intended but you didn't care, not at this moment when the world around you felt like it was caving in. 

"Someone help me with the drinks!" You yelled out to no one in particular as you watched everyone just beeline towards the beach. You put your hand above your head, eyes squinting at the sun. You internally thanked yourself for opting to wear lenses instead, beach and glasses would be a disastrous combination, "let me help you.." You turned towards Jay who slowly made his way towards you. He smiled, taking the box of drinks from your hand and signalling his head towards the lighter box instead. "I would've asked the boys to help with these, you didn't have to help with this." You shook your head, adjusting the box in your hands, "no worries, but if I collapsed right now, tell my parents I died a hero."

Jay's eyebrows rose at your remark, a slight smirk gracing upon his face, "by carrying a box of drinks? How noble. I would crave 'Gone too soon- by a box of Cola' on your tombstone." You huffed a breath, "are you sure we are not hazed? Why does this feel like a punishment?" Jay grinned clearly enjoying your suffering, "I think they went in first to avoid this exact trouble, we were set up." You just shook your head at his words, setting the boxes near each other, Jay ruffled your hair, then Ava called his name and he waved at you before running towards her.

The sun is warm against your skin as you step into the soft sand, the ocean glittering ahead. Around you the world felt lazy and dripped in golden hue but you couldn't shake away the heaviness of your heart. Jake and Sunghoon were already waist-deep in the ocean, calling out the rest of you to join them. Heeseung reclined on a lounge chair, under a fluttering umbrella. Oversized sunglasses perched upon his face as he smirked at the boys playing in the water. Your eyes travelled towards Jay and Ava, who sat a few feet away from you on a shared blanket, their silhouettes framed by the glow of the sun. Ava leaned into him, laughing at something he whispered in her ears. 

You knew it was better to look away, that ignorance was the only choice you had in this situation, but you couldn't bring yourself to do that. But your eyes stayed fixed on the way his fingers gently brush a strand of her hair away from her face, and how she leaned her head on his shoulder like she belonged there and maybe she does. You watched as Jay lay down on his stomach, and Ava on her back, his eyes closed as his hand circled around her waist. You wished you could just walk up to him, sitting beside him as your fingers traced your name on his back, not to claim or to mark but to belong, even just for a fleeting moment. But you don't move, you just watch as she calls his name when he runs off towards the boys to play in the water. 

"You aren't getting spared just because you are busy daydreaming in your own world, pretty." You screamed as you felt Sunghoon pick you up bridal style and run towards the beach as he spoke. "Yah, you know I can't swim." You tried kicking your legs to get him to put you down but there was no real fight in your attacks, "I know, that's why I'll be near you when you play! Trust me pretty." And with that Sunghoon jumped into the water with his still in his arms. Jake and Heeseung joined you two and helped you with splashing water on Sunghoon's face. 

"You're doing good pretty, just hold onto me tight." Your hands were on Sunghoon's shoulder while he had his on your waist as he guided you deeper into the ocean. You shrieked when you couldn't feel anything beneath your feet and his hold tightened around you, his arms now circling around your waist as he pulled you close. Jay watched both of you pinch Sunghoon's ears for his clumsy actions, something twisted low in his stomach and he couldn't explain why watching you both play together made his fingers tighten around Ava's waist. "Jay, it hurts." His attention went back to his girlfriend who looked at him with a questioning gaze, he shook his head, his fingers soothing the skin on her waist as a silent apology. 

"Alright, it's enough for the day, let's get back to have dinner." Your head turned towards Heeseung's voice, you walked up to him, others following close behind. "Had your fun?" He asked, one of his eyebrows arching as he spoke, you nodded your head as both of you fell into a casual conversation. "Okay how about we split the chores?" Ava groaned as Sunghoon's suggestion, clearly displeased. She leaned her weight on Jay, blinking up at him as she pouted, "I'm too tired to help..." Sunghoon scoffed unintentionally and Jake's coughed in his elbow to mask his laughter. "You just laid there on the beach and did nothing but you're tired?" Jay threw a glance at Sunghoon, clearly intending to make him shut up, then he looked at you, his eyes soft, "both of you go rest, we will call when everything's ready okay?"

Ava lit up, reaching up to kiss his cheek she ran inside the house and into her room, without a single glance towards the mess everyone was left with. You heard Jake sigh softly beside you, looking at the mess, hands on his hips. You stepped closer, bumping your hips with his, "how about Jay and Heeseung take care of cooking, Sunghoon can take care of collecting the empty drink bottles and both of us will clear the garbage?" He grinned at you, clearly pleased with your suggestion when Jay's voice cut through the air, "we will handle it, you should go and rest, you helped earlier too." You shook your head at his words, "I want to help, so please let me, and the more people are helping the sooner this will be over." You smiled as you pushed Jake towards the cleaning supplements to get started. 

"Wow this took longer than we thought," you straightened your back, nodding your head at Jake's complaints. The sun had set and the moonlight casted a soft glow on the ocean. The streetlights were turned on and everything looked straight out of a movie. "We're done with dinner!" You looked at Jake who mirrored your smile, "first one to reach the kitchen is the loser!" You said as you ran towards the kitchen, Jake followed close behind as he complained about you getting a headstart. You laughed when he reached the kitchen first, giving Heeseung a jumpscare when he bumped into him. You laughed at his proud face, enjoying yourself more than you thought when Jay's voice cut in, "Ava's still sleeping, I'll bring her dinner later, let's get fresh and then we will eat."

Dinner was spent with Sunghoon and Jay's bickering while Heeseung just laughed at his friend's banter. Laughter echoed over clinking cutlery, voices overlapping and plates passing with casual affection. "I literally said the first person to reach the kitchen is the loser." Sunghoon laughed loudly at Jake's bewildered face, his eyes round and big as he looked at you, "you're so mean.." You reached out and ruffled his head, cooing at his whiny self, "your fault for not listening properly." He slumped against the chair, giving you faux glasses as other's made fun of him. 

"We're sleeping early?" Jay questioned when everyone started complaining about being tired, a gentle frown etching on his face as he looked at you all. Sunghoon nodded his head, "Ava hasn't eaten since afternoon, so feed your girl, we will sleep too now, all the cleaning is finally creeping up on me." Heeseung, Jake and you religiously nodded, making Jay sigh as he prepared a plate for Ava and made his way into her room. "Let's get the cake and other things ready, I believe he will be occupied enough till we get things done," Heeseung whispered as soon as the door clicked shut behind Jay and everyone started preparing for the birthday boy's surprise. 

"Okay, I believe we are ready, are we ready?" Jake whispered, box of cake in his hands, beside him stood Heeseung and Sunghoon who had party poppers in their hands. You were given the responsibility to record the moment. You focused the camera on the cake, then slowly backing away to capture all three of them in a single shot. You softly giggled looking at them, a big grin plastered on your face as you recorded them. All four of you were wearing birthday hats, and you couldn't help but coo at how cute the three boys looked. In one of your hands were two birthday hats, one of them extra large since it was meant for Jay. You looked at the timing, signalling them it was time for all of you to huddle outside Ava's room. 

You knocked on the door, waiting patiently for Jay to open it. You wondered if giving Jay a surprise while Ava wasn't involved in it was a good idea or not but the plan to surprise was spontaneous, the one which you made while you were cleaning, later Sunghoon informed Heeseung about it when he found him alone. Ava never got out of her room, so you figured it wasn't anyone's fault she wasn't involved. Your heart drummed against your ribs, mind swirling with thoughts that if you catch them in their intimate moments, you couldn't bring yourself to handle that scene again. But all your thoughts flew out of your mind when the door swung open and Jay emerged from the door looking confused. 

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONGSEONG!!!" All four of you screamed, confetti flying everywhere as Jay laughed, completely amused at the little surprise his friends pulled. Sunghoon took the large hat from your hand and placed it neatly on Jay's head. Ava emerged from the room, her hair messy and she was barely awake. You passed the phone to Heeseung and placed one hat on her head. Jay cut the cake, and the rest of the night was filled with questions from Jay about the surprise and what all went down while preparing. Heeseung apologized to Ava for excluding her from the surprise as he explained how the plan was spontaneous and no one got any opportunity to approach her. She smiled at him as she waved his concern off, but when the little party was almost over you could feel her mood getting sour as she looked at you. 

You got comfortable on the bed, sighing in relief as your body relaxed. You turned to your side, pulling the blanket closer, you slipped into sleep the moment you closed your eyes, body too drained to resist it. For a while everything around you stilled, the noise, the thoughts, even the time. But after few hours, something stirred, and your eyes blinked open, heart and mind racing. You're half-awake, half-dazed, your body begging you to just go back to sleep. You tried going back to sleep, but it was too late to go back to how it felt before. You got off from the bed and made your way downstairs, maybe Some fresh air would help you with the sleep. 

You stepped out of the villa, the air around you lighter and cooler. You made your way towards the narrow stone path, leading you towards the quiet overlook by the cliffside, where the ocean stretches endlessly below. The sky opened with each step you took, you breathe in the air, the wind gently caressing your body. "What are you doing here this late?" You jumped slightly, heart skipping before your mind caught up but you didn't move. Jay stepped beside you, leaning against the railings of the overlook, his eyes trained on your face as you looked ahead. "Couldn't sleep," you whispered, not wanting to break the serenity of the moment. 

"Something's on your mind?" You finally looked at him, his shirt was slightly crumpled, hair disheveled, his fingers twitched once before he clasped his hands together in stillness, his gaze was hard even though he looked composed from the outside, "you're angry, what happened?" The words left your mouth before your brain could catch up and your lips trembled as he locked his eyes with you. "I'm not angry," he stuttered lightly, clearing his throat and you looked away, biting your lips. "It's Ava right? Wanna talk about it?" He sighed, looking up towards the sky then back at you, contemplating whether he should talk to you about it or not.

"She got angry at me since she couldn't wish me at sharp 12..." You eyes widened at his words, disbelief gracing your face at the sheer absurdity of the situation, he looked at you, sitting down and motioning you to join him, and when you did, he continued, "I was so shock, she was in a sour mood, she wasn't even looking at me when I tried to approach her so I asked her till she told me why she was acting that way," you silently listened to him, feeling bad that he got into such situation on his birthday, "she has always been like that, there was a time when I didn't pick up her call at 12 AM sharp on my birthday cause I slept and she didn't talk to me whole day," you chuckled lightly. 

"Is laughing your type of coping mechanism? Considering she's your only friend, and she didn't talk with you on your birthday, doesn't that make her a bad friend?" His questions caught you off guard and you coughed to reduce the awkward tension it rose in the air. "She'll come around, Jay." He looked at you like he was trying to search for some answers he knew you wouldn't verbally give him, "can I share something with you?" His voice was soft as he asked you that and you nodded your head, not finding the courage in you to decline his request. "You're the only person I'm sharing this with, I know you're her best friend so you should probably be the last person I'm saying this to, but from the time I've known you, I know there's no one better than you who would understand me...."

You nodded your head at him to continue, he looked around, his shoulders slumping slightly, "I feel like the Ava in front of me is so different from the girl who used to send me letters..." your stomach dropped at his words, you didn't say anything, you kept your face still but your inside twisted but still you forced a hesitant nod, "like she's very sweet, but the kind of person I imagined her to be, the kind of person I fell for is so different from the reality. We have our sweet moments but they don't feel real to me," he played with his fingers, head hung low, "whenever I try to talk to her about the letters she diverts the topic by saying what matters is the present, her letters always used to see through me, I felt seen in those letter, I didn't even have to say anything but her letters told me they understood regardless, but it isn't the same anymore, it feel so unreal."

"Jay," you sighed wondering what words would even bring peace to his heart, you wanted to tell him the truth, that it was you who wrote those letters and not Ava, but you couldn't bring yourself to confess that. "You're her best friend but I keep on complaining about her behavior to you, don't snitch on me," he pointed a finger at you, "please?" You laughed at his actions, "I won't tell her about this, I promise." He looked at you, eyes squinting as if he didn't believe in your words, "pinky promise?" You stretched your pinky finger towards him and his eyes lit up as he hooked his pinky finger with you. 

Jay looked at the ocean in front of him, "relationships are more complicated than I thought they would be." You nudge your shoulders with him to cheer him up a bit, "tell me about it..." you rolled your eyes, standing up and extending your hand to him, the sun would start to rise after sometime and it would be better if you head back so you'd have enough energy to travel back home tomorrow. He held your hand to pull himself up, dusting his pants a bit. Both of you just walked back in without any conversation, the silence more comfortable in between you. "Let's grab something to drink before we go to bed," you nodded, letting yourself be a little bit more selfish for wanting to spend time with him.

The light of the refrigerator drapes a soft glow on his face, highlighting the curve of his sharp jaw, the way his lashes cast faint shadows on his cheeks, his messy hair which somehow still looks perfect to you. And he looks calm, thoughtful even like your heart isn't shattering into pieces right beside him. You took a few steps back, leaning against the counter, pretending to look at something on your phone but your eyes are trained on him. On the way his brows squint slightly to decide which drink to choose, the way he quietly mumbles to himself as if he belongs to a place which is softer, quieter. And you love him. God, you love him. 

You swallow the lump forming in your throat, try to tear your eyes from his frame, to have some mercy on your heart. You wish you didn't feel this way, wished you never wrote those letters and kept your love hidden deep in your heart. You wished he would just turn around and look at you like you aren't just his girlfriend's best friend but someone who was actually meant to be his. And he turns around and looks at you, flashing you a quick smile, and it shatters you because it's the kind of smile he gives to everyone, and not the one you're dying to get, the kind he has reserved only for Ava. But you smile back, you pretend like you're not falling apart under refrigerator light for a boy who has no idea what he has gotten himself into. 

He makes his way towards you, now handing you a soft drink and leaning right beside you. He takes a sip, humming lightly as if he hasn't tasted the same drink countless times today. "So," he started, putting the drink on the counter and turning towards you, "did you break up with your boyfriend?" You choked on the drink at his random question before calming yourself, "what boyfriend?" You tilted your head as you waited for him to answer, he just shrugged, "the one who humiliated you in my birthday party some years ago in high school." Your jaw dropped before you could stop it, "you remember that? And it was your birthday party?" 

He nodded his head, finding your reaction amusing, "I was wondering when you'd say something about it but you didn't." You opened your mouth to say something but closed it again when you couldn't find the words, "so did you break up with him?" You nodded your head at him, "yeah, just after I reached home, I broke up with him and never looked back. I realized it after so long that deep down I knew he wasn't treating me right, I just wanted someone else to remind me of that and you did." His eyebrows arched at your words, his lips twitching into a smile, "guess you owe me a big one then," You rolled your eyes, shoving his shoulder a bit, "in your dreams Jay."

He laughed at your words, now taking both of your drinks and throwing it in the bin, "I'm glad that I met you, I don't think I'd be here if I didn't meet you that day." He smiled softly at your words, turning towards you, he stepped closer, "I'm glad you're here too, I feel so relaxed right now, it's amusing really..." you tilt your head at him, "what's so amusing?" His eyes went back and forth from your face then to the ground a couple of times, wondering if he should say what he wanted to, "hm? Jay?" He sighed, clearing his throat a little bit, "this," he said, waving his hands in between you two, "what's this?" You chuckled, finding his hesitation endearing. "This thing in between us, it feels," you stepped closer, nodding your head at him to continue, "it feels what Jay?" "Real. It feels real." 

"Pretty I feel like Jay's birthday this year is going to be very eventful," you and Sunghoon were sitting on the kitchen island, eating fruits, Ava insisted Jay to spend some alone time with her before you go back home so they were out, Heeseung and Jake were still sleeping. "Why's that?" You questioned as you took a bite of watermelon. "Jay said Ava was upset we didn't involve her in the surprise, which doesn't make sense cause Heeseung apologized for it and gave her genuine reason, right?" You nodded and he continued, "but I believe they got into an argument or something, Jay's been tense but he said that Ava wanted to throw a surprise for him too, all alone, and he agreed because he said it would make her happy."

You hummed in response, knowing well that Ava has a habit of bringing attention towards her in any situation, so it was inevitable that she would ask Jay to do something like that. Surprise for Jay sounded good too, they had been dating for months so she must've had something in her mind. "Let her have her moment, despite the reasons we could've texted her or something but we managed within ourselves so let her show her love towards him the way she wants." Sunghoon nodded, silently agreeing with you as he ate the apple, "I hope everything will go well, she didn't even ask any of us for help," you sighed at his words, praying everything would go well. 

Now you're dressing up for the surprise Ava had planned for Jay, she called everyone to the living room when both of them returned from their little outing and informed everyone to dress up nicely after you reached back home and meet in her parent's house since they were out on a business trip, he seemed quite excited about it. You hoped it would live up to his expectations and not end in yet another argument. You sighed watching yourself in the mirror, one hand holding the glasses while the other the lenses. You put the glasses down deciding lenses would be a great option if Ava or for that matter anyone else thought about pushing you into the pool again, you'd at least be able to see your downfall clearly. 

You asked Ava if she needed your help and she just shrugged, declining your offer and throwing a snarky comment at you, something along the lines of, "wouldn't want anyone else to take credit for what I am going to do for him." And you just hummed, not wanting to trigger her more by reminding her that of course she'd fear someone else taking credit given that she has done the same to date Jay. Those words sounded very rich coming from her, the hypocrisy was astonishing. You texted Sunghoon the address of Ava's parent's house and asked him to forward it to the other boys. 

Your eyes fell upon the clock, and you grabbed your things, booking a cab and texting Sunghoon that you'd reach the house in 20 minutes. He texted a thumbs up emoji, informing you that they would arrive at the house around that time too. You leaned against the car seat, watching the other vehicles pass by you in a rushed blur. Your heart thumped in your chest for some reason and you took a few deep breaths to calm the nerves down. It was inevitable you'd feel anxious, it's all you had been feeling ever since Ava started dating Jay, you were mentally preparing yourself to watch them being all lovey dovey in front of you without having a breakdown yourself. 

You arrive at the house, a small envelope in your hand, the evening sky painted in hues of pink and yellows. When you reached the door of the house, you could hear faint chatter from inside the room. You hesitate, glancing down at the envelope with Jay's name written on it and then back up at the faint lights flashing through the living room's curtains. You frowned, texting Ava about your arrival, you twisted the door open after you got a signal from her and stepped inside. You were still standing near the entrance of the house, the house was pitch dark, but still you could hear some murmurs, more clearer than before. 

The door behind you swung open, the night air brushing your skin as you turned around to find Jay hesitantly step inside, one hand clutching his phone and the other the door. His silhouette was half-hidden in the shadow. Behind him stood Sunghoon, Heeseung and Jake, anticipation etched on their faces. Someone behind you switched on the lights and Jay blinked, first because of the lights and then towards the crowd in front of him. You heard someone gasp from behind you, "Jay is here," and a loud chorus of "SURPRISE" erupted in the previously silence-filled house. Confetti exploded through the poppers, the music volume rising up like inflation. 

Ava's shoulder brushed against yours as she ran towards Jay to hug him, he hugged her back, blinking in confusion. The other three entered the house from the corner, Sunghoon throwing a worried look towards Heeseung who silently hushed him. Jake's eyes locked with yours as he passed by you, then he turned towards his other friends to whisper something. Jay smiled tightly when Ava dragged him towards the mini stage where she kept the cake for him. And his eyes found yours before Ava cupped his cheek to give him a birthday kiss. The music stopped and Ava gathered everyone's attention, "Today's my lovely boyfriend's birthday so first we will cut the cake and then we can continue with the celebration."

Loud cheer erupted at her words, you kept your gift on the corner where everyone else kept theirs and made your way towards the mini stage where others were already present. Ava cheered loudly, a bright smile adorning her face as she took off the cover from the cake, a towering, picture-perfect chocolate cake, glossy with ganache, topped with sparklers and gold-letter candles spelling his name. His smile flattered for a second before he masked it with his politeness. "Ava," he whispered quietly, eyes darting towards the people watching each of his actions in anticipation, "I'm allergic to chocolate." You could see the color drained from Ava's face as she looked around at others. "I ordered a vanilla cake, the bakery may have misplaced my order." She pouted, clinging onto his arms as other people gave her words of sympathy that it's the thought that counts. 

You were sitting on the couch beside Sunghoon, in front of you sat Jay and Ava, the music blasted in your ears, but you could still decipher the conversations going around you. Jay tapped his foot repeatedly against the ground, his shoulders tensed as he took a sip from his cup. "You're repeatedly tapping your foot on the ground, if you wanna dance, you could've just said so, come on, let's dance." You could see Jay froze at her words but didn't really resist when she dragged him towards the dance floor. You watch as Ava laughs, all bright and confident, clearly proud of the party she has thrown. You could see her dress sparkle and sway with her. One of her hands was clasped around Jay's wrist and the other waved the crowd off to make some space for them. 

You could see the way his shoulders sank when he reached the center of the dance floor, the way his eyes were scanning the room, over the crowd as if he was checking the exits. Ava pulled him closed, dancing around him carefree and unbothered. She turned around to face him, hands wrapping around his neck to pull him closer, she leans in for a kiss and he obliges, people cheer around them, flashing on camera making you blind. And he laughed when they pulled apart, hands on her waist as she sways. Your heart tugs a little, with sadness or jealousy you aren't really sure, cause you know Jay prefers to spend his birthday around his loved ones, intimately and not amongst the crowd. You know, because he had mentioned about it in one of his letters. 

"You do realize he is not the one you're supposed to be looking at, right?" You jumped at Sunghoon's voice, "huh? What?" He shook his head as he leaned back on the couch, your eyes following his actions, "Jay," he started, taking a look at him briefly before looking at you again, "you aren't supposed to look at your best friend's boyfriend with that intensity in your eyes, what happened to the girl code?" You choked on the air, rubbing the area just above your chest to soothe your breathing. "I'm not staring at him," you glared, clearly caught off guard by his observation, "yeah and I'm Michael Jackson," you rolled your eyes, leaning against the couch, "you're reaching, I was just looking at them dance together," Sunghoon smirked leaning close to your face, "without blinking? Was their dance that admirable?" 

You groaned throwing your head back, you could hear Sunghoon chuckling at your misery from beside you, "this isn't the first time I saw you staring pretty..." you turned your head slowly in his direction, he smiled lightly, eyes full of emotions or was it the effect of alcohol he was drinking? "Hm?" He sighed, resting his head at the back of the couch, mimicking you, "I saw how you look at him, at the music room, at his house during our celebration, at the villa, at the beach, the time when he served you dinner," your gaze was fixed on his face as he went on and on about all the times he had watch you fawn over your best friends boyfriend. You couldn't bring yourself to deny all his observations, not when he wasn't looking for your approval anyway, he had observed you and was just stating what he saw. 

"Your eyes are so predictable, pretty," He said after he didn't get any response from you and saw you looking away. There was not a single bite in his words, he didn't accuse or blame you for being a bad friend. Your eyes met his again, you couldn't find any sharpness, or any judgement, just softness, like he understood where you were coming from without you having to say anything. Your heart swelled with something you didn't quite understand but felt overwhelmed, "are you always this annoying?" Your words were softer than you intended them to be, and he just smirked, putting his hand on your shoulder, "only when I'm onto something." You sighed but didn't resist his embrace, "you're not onto something, Jay's my best friend's boyfriend." His other hand made its way towards yours to play with your bracelet, "he is, that doesn't mean you wish things were different though." You let me play, eyes lingering on the veins of his hands for a second too long, "I didn't say that," "You didn't have to."

"Where did they go?" Your eyes followed Sunghoon's line of vision, "probably in Ava's room to make out or something," you mumbled quietly but he caught that, "you're not going to sit here and sulk," he said grabbing your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours, "no girl gets to stand beside me and feel like a loser, that shit is reserved only for boys." You wanted to say something but decided against it when you couldn't think of anything smart to say. He dragged you towards the dance floor, his hands circling around your waist, he abruptly pulled you close, your hands grabbing his shoulders in response. "Focus on me tonight, who knows, tomorrow you might forget who Jay is." 

You rolled your eyes at him, hands now comfortably resting around his neck as both of your bodies swayed with the rhythm of music. The night had stretched on, the music settling to something slow and soft. One of his hands slid up to rest against your back, while the other rested snugly on your waist. His actions pulled your body closer to his, from this distance you could count all the moles that were scattered across his face, the curve of his lashes, the point of his nose, and his lips. You gulped, feeling heat rise up in your body at the proximity. You tried looking away but he held you in place with his gaze. You were sure he could hear your heartbeat from how close you were. 

One of his hands lifted, his movements slow and deliberate as he looked at your face for any signs of discomfort, his knuckles grazed your cheeks. Your eyes fluttered close and you leaned into his touch. His breath hitched, taking shallow breaths his hand now cradled your cheek, fully, thumb tracing the curve of your jaw. You sighed softly, leaning more into his touch as if leaning felt safer than speaking. You felt him inch closer, your nose barely grazing against his, you could smell him, the faint scent of detergent which lingered on his shirt, his shampoo, and something so achingly Sunghoon. Your breath flattered, syncing with his, for a moment both of you just breathed each other in.

His lips meet yours, softly, no urgency, no rush, like he's taking his time to learn the curve of your lips, a little hesitant, like he was giving you time to back out if you want. It was the kind of kiss that communicated his soft sighs and gasps, one that lingers at the back of your mind even after years. His thumb caressed your cheek, his actions meant less for comforting you and more for anchoring himself and for a moment everything single thought from your mind disappeared. Then his thumb suddenly froze mid-motion, he pulled away slightly, enough to look at your face. "You're crying pretty..." your eyebrows furrowed at his words and you opened your eyes, his thumb caught another tear which fell from your eyes but he didn't press further.

"I'm sorry..." you choked, unable to comprehend the reason behind your tears. You wanted to kiss him, and you did, but you couldn't figure out why the tears started to flow. The hand on your cheek, slid up to the back of your neck and he pulled close. You buried your head at the crook of his neck. "It hurts so bad, hoon." You aren't even sure where it hurts badly, Ava's lie, or watching her living the life you only imagined in your dreams, or the fact that even if Jay knew it was you, it wouldn't have bloomed into something so precious. "Shh, everything will be okay, you don't have to pretend in front of me." His fingers tangled in your hair as he drew soothing circles on your head. You nodded your head, pulling away a little from his embrace and from the corner of your eyes you saw Jay furiously walking down the stairs, his shoulders tense. 

"Sunghoon," you pulled away from him and he brushed the remaining of the tears with both of his hands, "Jay." You pointed your finger towards his figure, he shoved people who came into his path, his steps hurried and faze fixed on the main door of Ava's house, "follow him," Sunghoon nudged you in Jay's direction, your face contoured into confusion, "but shouldn't Ava be going after him?" He ran his hand through his hair as he watched Jay near the door, "something tells me he needs you more than he'll need Ava at this moment." You looked at him for a second, letting his words sink deep inside you, after a while you nodded at his direction and turned around to run towards Jay. 

Sunghoon watched as your hand slipped away from him, the same hand which he had intertwined with yours a few moments back. He watched it all, the way the tip of your finger slid against his one last time, like sand slipping from his palm, the way your lips trembled when you turn away, the urgency in your steps when you try your best to move through the crowd to reach Jay, and his hand tremble beside him. His other hand lifted up to trace the lingering memory of your lips pressing against it. And when he recalled the way your lips moved against his and how he tasted the salty taste of your tear before catching a sight of it, he wondered if that's what heartbreak tastes like. Like a kiss dipped in honey, ruined by the sting of salt you never meant for him to find.

[godricgryffinsnore]

The Photo In His Wallet ♡ : A Sirius Black Fan Fiction.

pairing : Sirius Black x female!reader

summary : When a picture of his girl falls out of Sirius Black’s wallet, Remus and James seize the opportunity of a lifetime—and Sirius? Well, he doesn’t go down without screaming. And you? You grab the perfect opportunity to tease the shit out of him.

warnings : Fluff overload, Secondhand embarrassment, Sirius Black being a hopeless romantic (and dramatic menace), Mischievous Marauder teasing, Mentions of laminated photos, Light language and chaotic energy, Excessive cuteness and mutual pining. Please let me know if I missed any.

author's note : English is not my first language, so please forgive me for any grammatical errors or spelling errors. Re-blogging is completely fine with me, but please don't copy my work. I love you all. Enjoy <3.

word count : 2k

main master list <3

banners : @uzmacchiato and @cafekitsune

It started with a perfectly innocent game of Exploding Snap.

At least, that’s what Sirius would tell you later, when he’s lying across your lap dramatically, whispering about “the betrayal of brotherhood” and how “even James turned on me, my dearest heart, the pain—the agony—you can’t possibly understand.”

In reality, it started with Sirius refusing to lose.

“Just give it up, mate,” Remus said, smirking as he laid down a perfect pair. “You’ve only got two cards left, and I can see the panic in your eyes.”

“I never panic,” Sirius huffed, slapping a card down with such force that it ricocheted off the table and nearly set Peter’s sleeve on fire. “I’m Sirius Black. I am the panic.”

James raised an eyebrow. “You okay, Pads? You’ve been weird ever since we got back from Hogsmeade yesterday. You’re not still swooning over her in that new dress, are you?”

Sirius went very still. “I wasn’t swooning. I was��� appreciating.”

“You tripped over a display of pumpkin pasties because you were too busy staring at her,” Remus added helpfully.

“Pumpkin pasties are a hazard to us all,” Sirius replied solemnly.

They all laughed, Sirius included. And just when things seemed like they’d settle into a normal rhythm again, Sirius pulled out his wallet to settle a bet—and that was the moment. The moment the earth stopped spinning.

Something fluttered to the floor. James bent down to pick it up.

And then… the silence.

It was too quiet. Dangerously quiet.

James stood slowly, holding something between two fingers. “Sirius.”

Sirius blinked. “Yes?”

“What is this?”

Remus leaned over. His face split into a slow, delighted grin. “Oh, no.”

“No, no, give it back, give it back right now—”

Because in James Potter’s hand was a photograph. A small, well-worn Polaroid of you sitting in the Gryffindor common room. Your legs were tucked beneath you, hair spilling over your shoulders, and you were laughing—at something Sirius had said, no doubt, because the way your eyes sparkled was the same way he looked at you.

And worst of all? In the photo, Sirius was next to you, mid-way through tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear.

You both looked… soft.

Dangerously, disgustingly soft.

James’ jaw dropped. “You CARRY THIS with you?!”

“It’s laminated,” Remus added, peering closer. “Oh my Godric, did you laminate it?”

“FOR PROTECTION!” Sirius yelped, leaping across the table with the grace of a drunk Hippogriff. “SHE’S VERY PRECIOUS TO ME, OKAY?”

James was howling. “Pads, you’re whipped. I mean, we knew, but this? This is evidence. This is proof in a court of law.”

“Shut your mouth, Potter—”

“Do you talk to it when she’s not around?” Remus asked, utterly serious. “Like, do you take it out before bed and whisper, ‘Goodnight, darling, I miss your smell’?”

Sirius turned scarlet. “I DO NOT—well, not out loud!”

James fell off the chair.

Sirius finally managed to snatch the photo back and cradled it to his chest like it had been wounded. “Don’t listen to them, love,” he whispered to it, with a glare at the boys. “They don’t understand us.”

“You know we’re telling her, right?” Remus said, already pulling out a quill.

“You wouldn’t dare—”

“Actually,” James grinned, “I think she’d find it adorable.”

“She’d die of secondhand embarrassment,” Sirius groaned, hiding his entire face behind the wallet.

But when he saw you later that day—when you smiled at him like he hung the moon, and kissed his cheek and called him "my handsome boy", and tucked your hand into his coat pocket where he was still clutching that damn photograph—he thought, maybe... maybe the teasing was worth it.

Even if Remus and James greeted him that evening with synchronized kissing noises.

── .✦

You knew something was up the moment you walked into the common room and James Potter looked at you like Christmas had come early.

“Oh, hey there,” he said far too casually. “Funny thing happened earlier. Wanna hear it?”

You narrowed your eyes. “Not particularly.”

“No no, I insist,” said Remus, sliding onto the arm of the chair beside you like this was premium entertainment. “It’s about a certain someone. And a certain object.”

You blinked. “Is this about Sirius? What did he do now?”

James grinned. “Oh, nothing. Just carries you around in his wallet like a 1950s milkman’s sweetheart.”

You stared.

Remus nodded solemnly. “Tiny photo. Worn around the edges. Laminated.”

“I—what?!”

And then—then—you spotted him.

Sirius Black, standing frozen at the top of the boys’ staircase like a deer caught in a very romantic set of headlights.

He held his wallet in his hand. He made brief eye contact with you. Then he did the only logical thing:

He turned around and bolted back upstairs.

“Oh my GOD,” you gasped, launching up from the couch. “He did not—SIRIUS BLACK, GET BACK HERE!”

“No you don’t!” came his panicked yell from somewhere above. “YOU CAN’T SEE IT—I’LL DIE—YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, SWEETIE—”

James was wheezing. “He’s GONE. He’s GONE feral.”

You thundered up the stairs two at a time and flung open the dorm door to find Sirius mid-dive onto his bed, clutching the wallet like it was the Marauder’s Map and you were Filch.

“Sirius Orion Black,” you said, arms crossed, breathless from the chase, “do you or do you not carry a photo of me in your wallet like a lovesick lunatic?”

He peeked over the edge of his blanket. “Lovesick gentleman, actually. Big difference.”

“Let me see it.”

“No.”

“Sirius.”

“…No.”

You stepped forward.

He whimpered.

Finally—finally—with a deep sigh and a dramatic flop onto his back like he was sacrificing his soul, he handed it over.

And there it was.

A tiny, slightly faded Polaroid of you. Laughing, sunlight on your face, your hand tangled in his hair. Laminated. Well-loved.

You looked at him.

He looked utterly destroyed. “It’s for morale,” he whispered, staring at the ceiling. “You’re like… a good luck charm. Or emotional support. Or a Patronus. You’re my Patronus, darling.”

Your heart turned to mush.

But you kept your face straight. “So you laminated it?”

“For protection!” he cried, sitting up. “You don’t understand, my love—James keeps gravy packets in his wallet. I wasn’t about to let you mingle with beef stew residue!”

You burst out laughing, full and loud and bright. And Sirius—sweet, ridiculous, hopelessly gone Sirius—just looked at you like you were the only thing in the world.

“Hey,” you said softly, climbing onto the bed beside him, wrapping your arms around his waist. “You know you could just ask me for another one, right?”

He blinked. “A photo?”

You nodded. “Or better yet…” You kissed his cheek. “You could just look at me.”

He grinned, slow and smug and utterly Sirius. “I do. All the time. That’s why I walk into furniture.”

You laughed again, burying your face in his chest. “God, you’re lucky you’re pretty.”

He kissed your temple. “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

── .✦

You weren’t planning on him finding out.

It was meant to be a quiet little secret. Something soft, something yours. A folded-up photo of Sirius—just his profile in sunlight, caught mid-laugh, probably making fun of James—and it sat right behind the emergency chocolate bar and next to your spare quills. A talisman. A comfort.

You took it out on bad days. When classes were dragging or the world felt too heavy or you missed him more than you could say aloud.

But Sirius Black was many things, and snooping-proof was not one of them.

You’d left your bag on the floor for five minutes. Five. That’s all it took.

"Darling?" his voice called from across the common room, the kind of cautious that meant he’d either broken something, found something, or was preparing to dramatically confess something. You turned, only to see him holding your wallet open with an expression like he’d just discovered ancient treasure.

"What's this?" he asked, holding up the folded photo like it was evidence. His own face stared back at him from the picture. He looked younger, a little softer, sunlight in his lashes. You’d kept it since fifth year.

You blinked. “...That’s private.”

“PRIVATE?!” he shrieked, his voice cracking. “You’ve been carrying me around in your wallet, sweetheart?!”

You walked over, nonchalant. “Yeah. What about it?”

Sirius stood there like you’d just proposed marriage. “I—You—You keep a picture of me on you? Like I’m—like I’m a lucky charm or something?”

You smirked, plucking it from his fingers. “I thought it was only fair. Since you keep one of me.”

“That’s DIFFERENT,” he gasped, pressing a hand to his heart. “Mine is—mine is chivalrous. Yours is criminally adorable and I’m having a crisis.”

You leaned in, lips twitching. “Having trouble breathing, love?”

He nodded solemnly. “Yes. Also blinking. Also standing. I might need to sit down.”

You nudged his shoulder with yours and tucked the photo back where it belonged. “You look good in that picture. It always makes me feel better.”

Sirius made a noise like a wounded animal and flopped backward onto the couch, arms flailing. “I am going to DIE. This is the best day of my life and I’m going to die and I will not be reborn because nothing will top this.”

You sat down beside him, tugging his arm until he curled into your side like the absolute drama queen he was. “You’re such a baby.”

“I’m your baby,” he said smugly, nose brushing your jaw.

“You’re a pocket-sized baby,” you replied sweetly. “Fits right in my wallet.”

“Unholy words,” he groaned. “Say it again.”

You kissed the tip of his nose. “My pretty boy.”

He visibly short-circuited.

You grinned, victorious, and tucked your legs over his lap.

And that was it. He was a goner.

── .✦

It started, as most Marauder disasters did, with ego.

Specifically, Sirius’s ego.

You caught him staring at your wallet photo again. He tried to play it cool, of course, with that smug little smirk and a head tilt like he hadn’t literally gasped when he saw it for the first time.

But you saw the twitch in his jaw. The unspoken challenge in his eyes.

And then, the next day… it began.

You were in the common room, halfway through a cup of tea, when James’s voice carried across the room:

“Pads, why is your wallet thicker than Peter’s entire textbook collection?”

Sirius—cool, collected Sirius—looked far too innocent. “What? I just like being prepared.”

Remus reached over, yanked the wallet from his hands, and opened it.

And snorted.

James peered in. Then cackled. “NO. You didn’t.”

You raised an eyebrow as Sirius’s face went red. “What’d he do now?”

James turned the wallet around.

You blinked.

There were photos. So many photos. Every single one was of you. Laughing. Reading. Sleeping. Eating toast. One of you with a spoon on your nose.

You choked. “Sirius?!”

He sat up proudly. “Well, sweetheart, if you’re going to keep one photo of me, I figured I’d keep a few of you.”

“Seven is not a few!”

“Oh, that’s not all,” Remus added, flipping through the slots like a catalogue. “This one’s labeled ‘sunlight angel’. And this one—oh my Godric, he put a HEART STICKER on this one—”

Sirius snatched it back, scandalized. “It’s artistic expression!”

“You’ve got one tucked into your wand permit,” James added, eyes wide. “Pads, be honest… are we gonna find one under your pillow?”

“I’m not a monster,” Sirius huffed. “That one’s laminated and goes in my boot.”

You buried your face in your hands. “Sirius. You’re a menace.”

He leaned over with a grin. “I’m a menace in love, sweetheart.”

You tried not to smile. You failed miserably.

“You’re completely ridiculous.”

“And yet,” he whispered, brushing a kiss against your cheek, “I’m still your ridiculously handsome, wallet-stuffing, picture-hoarding idiot, yeah?”

You looked at him—utterly smitten, utterly Sirius—and sighed.

“Yeah,” you murmured. “You’re mine.”

He beamed, all sunlight and smug satisfaction.

Until a photo slipped out of the back of the wallet and fluttered to the floor.

Remus picked it up.

It was of you, with a very noticeable smear of toothpaste on your chin.

You froze.

James gasped, delighted. “He laminated it.”

Sirius’s face turned crimson. “IT’S CANDID, OKAY?!”

You smirked.

“...You’re not getting any new ones for a week.”

Sirius groaned. “Worth it.”

[sunarryn]

DP X Marvel #27

Danny wasn’t trying to become a supervillain’s protégé. Honestly, he was just trying to survive another semester at MIT without spontaneously combusting from stress. At nineteen, between triple-majoring in Astrophysics, Mechanical Engineering, and Paranormal Biochemistry—and moonlighting as the occasionally-glowy, occasionally-exploding, semi-competent vigilante known to the public as Phantom—Danny was hanging on by a thread. A very frayed, very caffeine-soaked thread. So when one of his professors suggested a special “independent study project” with a visiting Latverian dignitary-slash-scientist, Danny said yes without thinking. He needed the credits. He needed the money. He needed the free lunch vouchers. What he did not need, apparently, was to accidentally apprentice himself to Doctor Fucking’ Doom.

At first, he didn’t know. To Danny, “Victor” was just this weird, intense European dude with a crazy sense of fashion (who the hell wore a green cape in broad daylight?) and a laugh that definitely belonged in a villain origin story. But Victor paid well, never judged him for falling asleep mid-sentence, and always had the best coffee imported from who-knows-where. Danny figured he was just some rich old nerd with a lot of quirks. Maybe a little murder-y, but hey, Danny was from Amity Park. His standards for “dangerous mentor figure” were catastrophically low.

“Daniel,” Victor intoned one day, standing over a schematic that looked suspiciously like a laser death satellite. “Tell me: what improvements would you make to a mobile interdimensional particle cannon capable of vaporizing Manhattan?”

Danny, who hadn’t slept in three days and thought this was just a theoretical design, squinted at the blueprints and muttered, “Uh… you forgot the phase stabilizer. Without it, the cannon would rip itself apart before you could fire. Also, your aim’s gonna suck unless you recalibrate the gyroscopic system.”

Victor went unnaturally still. “Explain.”

Danny yawned so hard his jaw cracked. “M’kay, so if you adjust the vibrational harmonics here”—he drew all over the deadly weapon diagram with a crayon—“and rework the mana-infused crystal lattice to resonate at a higher frequency… boom. Stable, precise, terrifying. A+ on your murder machine, Professor Von Evilcape.”

Victor stared at him for a long time. Then he laughed. Not just any laugh. A full, villainous, booming laugh that echoed through the lab and set off three alarms in the next building over. Danny didn’t even blink. He just kept doodling tiny ghosts on the margins of the schematic.

From that moment onward, Victor—Doctor Doom, actual dictator of Latveria, sorcerer supreme wannabe, world-class narcissist—decided Danny was his heir apparent. His secret weapon. His beautiful chaotic son who understood him better than any of the clowns in Latveria ever had. He didn’t ask Danny if he wanted the role. He just started sending Danny increasingly absurd “assignments” that Danny, running on Monster Energy and bad life choices, completed without registering how criminally insane they were.

Case in point: one evening, Danny stumbled into the lab with a Red Bull in one hand and a half-eaten burrito in the other. Victor handed him a device.

“Install this at Stark Tower.”

Danny blinked at the tiny, harmless-looking black box. “Uh, what is it?”

“A signal booster for quantum research purposes.”

Danny, who trusted absolutely no one and also didn’t care because he had a paper due at midnight, shrugged. “Okay, cool.”

He broke into Stark Tower that night with the ease of a sleepwalking raccoon, installed the “signal booster” inside one of Tony Stark’s servers, and left. The next morning, the news was screaming about a massive data breach that almost triggered World War III. Danny was too busy trying to finish his midterm essay on quantum entanglement to notice.

“Good work, Daniel,” Victor said approvingly during their next meeting, clapping him on the back so hard he almost faceplanted into a dimensional rift. “You have the soul of a conqueror.”

“Thanks, man,” Danny mumbled, chugging coffee straight from the pot.

Victor took it a step further. He started introducing Danny at fancy functions. “This is Daniel. He is my most promising apprentice. One day he will inherit my empire.”

Danny, half-dead from exams and not paying attention, just nodded absently and said, “Yup. Love the Empire Strikes Back. Great movie. Big fan.”

Victor beamed.

It wasn’t until six months later, after the “Study Abroad” paperwork (actually an all-expenses-paid trip to Latveria) and the suspiciously grand laboratory gifted to him “for his brilliance,” that Danny realized something was deeply wrong.

He was skimming through some documents on Victor’s encrypted network—because of course Doom had an encrypted network called “DoomNet”—when he found it.

Last Will and Testament of Victor Von Doom: In the event of my death, all of Latveria, my scientific research, all proprietary technology, magical artifacts, nuclear launch codes, hidden doomsday devices, and the title of Supreme Monarch will pass to my chosen heir: Daniel Fenton, aka “Phantom,” aka “My Beautiful Disaster Child.”

Danny read it three times.

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait,” he whispered, voice cracking. “Am I—AM I A VILLAIN PRINCE?!”

Cue the world’s most pathetic breakdown.

“NO NO NO NO NO. I JUST WANTED A DAMN SCHOLARSHIP!” He hurled a coffee mug at the wall. It phased through because he lost control of his intangibility again. “THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR TRUSTING ANYONE IN A CAPE.”

Danny spent the next two hours panic-researching Victor Von Doom. It was bad. It was really bad. It was, like, world-endingly bad. Murder records. Wars. Kidnapping Reed Richards’ kids. Banning Beyoncé from Latveria because she rejected his dinner invitation. BAD.

And it was too late. Doom had gone on international television that morning and announced Danny’s name as his successor.

“I have chosen my heir,” Doom declared, standing proudly atop his gold-plated balcony while cameras flashed below. “The boy shall inherit everything I have built. Bow before your future king, Daniel Fenton!”

Meanwhile, in his MIT dorm room, Danny choked on his cereal.

“Oh my God,” Tucker screamed over Facetime. “YOU’RE DOOM JUNIOR!”

Jazz was furiously typing. “Danny, that’s treason. Like, actual treason.”

Sam just stared at him with unholy glee. “So… when are you conquering America?”

“NEVER,” Danny screeched.

Too late. The Avengers showed up at MIT the next day. It was not subtle.

Tony Stark crashed into Danny’s quantum physics lecture, kicked open the door, and pointed dramatically at him. “YOU!”

Danny, hunched over his notes and running on negative hours of sleep, blinked. “Me?”

“Yeah, you, Doom Boy,” Tony said, stomping down the aisle while half the class screamed and ducked for cover. “You hacked my servers, hijacked my satellites, and installed a literal doom-signal into my mainframe. Care to explain, junior dictator?”

Danny held up his hands. “Okay, look. In my defense, I thought it was a Wi-Fi booster.”

Steve Rogers leaned in. “Are you actively trying to destroy America?”

Danny’s eye twitched. “Sir, I am actively trying to pass Organic Chemistry.”

Natasha Romanoff clicked a pen menacingly. “Are you or are you not plotting to overthrow the world?”

Danny hesitated. “I mean… define ‘plotting’?”

There was a long, painful silence.

Tony sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “Kid. You’re on, like, several different international watchlists. Half of SHIELD thinks you’re planning to nuke New York.”

Danny’s voice cracked. “I didn’t even know how to do laundry until last month.”

And thus began the most chaotic custody battle in history: Doom versus the Avengers versus Danny versus himself.

Victor, naturally, was thrilled. He sent Danny monogrammed armor. A custom throne. A letter that read “My son, all great rulers are hated before they are loved. However feat not. Seize your destiny.”

Danny sent it back with a post-it note that said “pls stop.”

Tony tried to recruit him instead. “Work for me. You like tech, you like coffee, you’re already better at hacking than Peter—”

“HEY,” Peter Parker shouted from across the hall.

Danny groaned into his hands. “I don’t want to work for anyone! I just want a nap!”

Sam Wilson patted him on the back sympathetically. “Welcome to adulthood, kid.”

Things escalated horrifyingly fast. Latverian officials tried to smuggle Danny out of Massachusetts under the cover of night. Doom built a life-sized gold statue of him in Latveria’s capital square. The Avengers started putting “Phantom Threat Level: High” on their briefing files. Nick Fury cornered him in a diner and deadpanned, “Son, you’re one bad day away from becoming an international incident.”

Danny, shoving pancakes in his mouth, muffled, “I don’t wanna.”

Of course, life didn’t let him off that easy.

When Doom inevitably “died”—allegedly vaporized by a malfunctioning time machine because of course he did—Danny woke up to find a legal team at his dorm room.

“Congratulations, Your Majesty,” the lead lawyer said with an evil smile. “You are now King of Latveria.”

Danny fainted on the spot.

He woke up fifteen minutes later to find Sam fanning him with a Doom flag and Tucker wearing a Latverian general’s hat he stole from one of the lawyers.

“So…” Tucker grinned. “Wanna invade Canada first?”

Danny screamed into his pillow.

And somewhere, deep in the void between worlds, Doom—very much alive and sipping espresso—chuckled darkly.

“Atta boy, Daniel,” he whispered. “Atta boy.”

[seungcheorry]

"did you forget anything?", you say, as you close his backpack.

jeonghan mentally counts something using his fingers, looking around.

"no, i think i'm good", he shrugs.

you sigh, because there's nothing left to do now other than say bye. he told you countless times before that it's okay, that he will be fine, but he also kinda likes the way your dramatic ass acts like he's going to war.

"you truly don't want me to go?"

"love, you can go if you want to", jeonghan smiles. "but the members will be there, my family, so it will probably get a bit chaotic. can you deal with that today?"

you think for a bit. of course you want to drop him off at the enlistment center, of course you wanna make the most of your time with him, of c-

"because you know i'll be home in about 4 weeks and i'll come straight back to your arms, right?"

that makes you smile, which makes jeonghan smiles harder. he hugs you by your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. it feels weird not to have his long, soft locks on your neck, having his buzzcut almost tickling your skin instead.

"i'll miss you."

"think about it as a business trip, i'll be back before you know it."

"yeah, but what if you get hurt?"

"then i'll have to come home earlier", he lifts his head to look at you. "i'll be fine, please don't worry too much."

again, you sigh. jeonghan's phone vibrates in his pocket with a notification, which he checks to be from his sister.

"they're almost here, go get ready if you wanna go."

"yes, sir."

as you walk towards the bathroom, you find jeonghan's cap on the floor.

"here, you almost forgot, bald guy", you throw it at him, the new nickname sounding so weird rolling out of your tongue - it's still too early for jokes.

and then, as your heart hurts a little again, you realize...

"god, i'm so glad my bias won't have to serve, i couldn't ever do this with junhui."

"ya!", jeonghan almost screams. "what do you mean 'bias'? y/n, get back here!"

but you just shut the bathroom door with a loud laugh.

[gollancz]

Guys. Christmas is coming. Consumerism is in the driver's seat and GAWD don't I know about the existential ennui of all these faceless corporations trying to schill you their wares. It's cold. Impersonal. Bleak.

So I, a fellow tumblr user, will instead try to schill you MY wares, so that when you purchase these items you can say "Hey, that person from tumblr worked on this", and feel the warmth of HUMAN CONNECTION in a way that is completely normal and not parasocial at all. We really are friends. I promise. Yes, you. Love you, bestie. Remember the boop war? Good times. Fond memories.

THIRTEEN STOREYS and FAMILY BUSINESS by Jonathan Sims

Tumblr's favourite Nightmare Factory @jonnywaistcoat has two novels out and they're phenomenal horror that also punch you in the throat with SOCIAL COMMENTARY and FEELINGS. He's so adept at tapping into the specific part of my brain that feels fear like a small child - not the adult creepy scared that I normally get around horror, but specifically the kind of fear that almost freezes your limbs and vocal chords with a terror you don't quite understand because there is so much in the world that you don't know, but you know that somehow this thing might be quick enough or smart enough or sneaky enough to get you before you can get to the safety of your parents sort of fear.

THIRTEEN STOREYS is a haunted house novel, but set in a refurbished block of flats. Each chapter follows a different resident being haunted in a different way, with a style to match the flavour of ghost. It's all tied together phenomenally and brutally.

FAMILY BUSINESS is a story about ghosts in a different way, following a woman who joins a post-mortem house cleaning service while grieving the death of her best friend. But as she removes the stains from the houses of the dead, she begins to suspect something else is removing even more.

Both of these titles are available from Gollancz worldwide!

THE LAST UNICORN, THE WAY HOME, THE INNKEEPER'S SONG and A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE by Peter S. Beagle

Obviously Peter's work needs no introduction, and our editions aren't available in the US and Canada, but I've had a wonderful time working with Peter and his team to bring these beautiful books back to the UK. Meeting him at Worldcon this year was such a magical moment, and he was jet-lagged and I had gone through sleep deprived into hyper and was bringing an Extremely Weird Energy to every interaction I had that day, resulting in this photo:

THE LAST UNICORN and THE WAY HOME are a matched pair of wonderful fairy stories. THE WAY HOME has two novellettes in it, and the first - 'Two Hearts' - won the Hugo award. It will also destroy you.

A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE was Peter's first ever novel, and it's wistful and romantic and so beautiful.

THE INNKEEPER'S SONG is his epic fantasy quest, it's an adventure story that reads almost lyrically. Also there's an orgy in the middle which caught me by surprise when I was reading it for the first time on the train into work.

HIGH VAULTAGE by Chris and Jen Sugden

It's possible that someone on this website doesn't know I was involved with this book but don't worry, I will HUNT THEM DOWN AND TELL THEM. This is the first book I took all the way through the editorial process from end to end and I am SO PROUD of it and Chris and Jen and their wonderful world of @victoriocity. Officially one of the seven funniest books published in the UK this year, shortlisted for the Wodehouse Prize for Comic Fiction. It's a chaotic, bonkers murder mystery set in an alternate Victorian London which is the most gleeful dystopia I have ever encountered.

Featuring:

Grumpy Sunshine besties

The Victorian Equivalent of the Chuck Norris Meme

A robot who undertook a course in People Management

An indefatigable beagle

This is another book that you can get from Gollancz all over the world, and you SHOULD because it's amazing. Go into your local bookshop and ask them to order it into stock. It's a great Christmas present. It's my firstborn book baby (like that's a completely normal thing to say when I didn't even write it). Also if you're a fan of the podcast, why not tell the Guardian how great it is, and make a nuisance of yourself until they review. (I would, but the form asks for your name and then they'd know I didn't suddenly discover Victoriocity this year. Either that or think I was a very careless editor.) If you've not listened to the podcast yet, you absolutely should. It pings all my Douglas Adams receptors in the best way. If you like HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE, if you like CABIN PRESSURE, VICTORIOCITY is the perfect addition.

HAMMAJANG LUCK by Makana Yamamoto

SLIGHTLY cheating because HAMMAJANG LUCK isn't out in North America until January (pre-orders make great Christmas presents guys), but it IS out in the UK and the rest of the world next week! This is my second big editorial project and it's a Big Gay Space Heist ft. disaster lesbians, trans characters, and a tech billionaire getting put in his place. It's joyous and energetic and crammed full of Hawaiian pidgin as a love letter to the diaspora. @makana-yama is a phenomenal writer and this is their love letter to their communities, families both born and found, while also a statement on the victims of gentrification (and how those are disproportionally BIPOC communities). PLUS:

friends to enemies to cautious allies to lovers

trans cyborgs

Suck It Space Elon

You know that One Scene in Charlie's Angels where Cameron Diaz is in the white body suit and breaking into the safe and has to stretch out to hit two buttons at once? Yeah. That's the vibe.

Being able to work with Makana is a delight, and HAMMAJANG tapped into all the feelings I got watching LEVERAGE for the first time, so I went to watch it again while I was editing. Also OCEAN'S 8.

DEEP BLACK by Miles Cameron

So, barring Branderson, Miles Cameron may be one of our most prolific authors. He writes a minimum two books a year, one SFF and one historical fiction (as Christian Cameron) and he is... An absolute phenomenon. He IS the Chuck Norris meme. I'm obsessed with him. He's former US military intelligence turned naturalised Canadian Hippy, has written over fifty novels, can turn his hand to any genre and write it fantastically, is a practical archaeologist - running large scale re-enactments from a variety of periods ranging from Bronze Age right the way up to the Victorian era, using traditional techniques to allow academics to study how the practicalities of weapons, clothes, food etc. would have worked in practice. Two years ago he won a medieval combat tournament in Verona, a clear ten years older at least than the next oldest competitor, he teaches Historical European Martial Arts, but ties it into the history of martial arts globally. He can make his own clothes, ink, leatherwork. He's a ballet dancer. I once took him for a day out and he ended it in a different shirt and shoes from the ones he'd started in. I asked him for an author photo and he sent me this:

DEEP BLACK is the sequel to his critically acclaimed SF debut ARTIFACT SPACE, where he has taken his research and experience of global historical cultures and extrapolated to create an interplanetary future where the best of all are celebrated. And then Aliens Happen. And then, in reaction, Capitalism Happens (which is covered in the short story collection BEYOND THE FRINGE).

He's such a thoughtful and erudite speaker, if you're curious about his work, I'd recommend listening to his episodes on the Friends Talking Fantasy podcast, and also his appearance on The Publishing Rodeo.

If SF isn't your bag, he's also got:

Arthurian fantasy

Bronze Age fantasy

Medieval Mages fantasy

A CURSE OF CROWS - Lauren Dedroog

I actually inherited Lauren when a colleague of mine departed for fresh pastures, which gave me the great opportunity to work on this series which is so vastly different from my usual fare. It's epic, sweeping, romantic and lush, with such detailed description and complex political machinations, while also being brutal, dark and heavy (tw: for sexual assault, torture etc, etc.). If you like Sarah J Maas and Cassandra Clare, this should hit the sweet spot. Lauren is an ICU nurse when not writing, and this was somehow created when she was putting in a million hours in hospitals during COVID. The feat boggles my mind.

A CURSE OF CROWS is out now in the UK, Australia and Europe, and it won the People's Choice for Standaard Boek's Book of the Year award in 2023, in her home country of Belgium. It will be hitting shelves in North America next September! A DANCE OF SERPENTS is where I get to pick up the editorial mantle, and that has just landed in my inbox this week so I am excited to dig in.

Featuring:

Harold, they're lesbians

Murder baby is actually a cinnamon roll

Sensitive wings are sexy

For serious, though, I'm lucky enough to work with a lot of authors I'm genuinely obsessed and astounded by. And yes, I do get to work on Joe Abercrombie, Brandon Sanderson and Andrzej Sapkowski, but they're not MY authors - they're led by the incredible Gillian and Marcus who I'm not 100% certain sleep. There are so many people on the Gollancz list who I could recommend for DAYS (and will, if you so request), but this is my stable of superstars.

[ruloaapaul]

STORYTIME BITCHES — HOW I ACCIDENTALLY SLEEP PARALYZED MYSELF INTO THE VOID STATE.

you wanna hear a little story time about how i fucking slid into the void state like it was my DMs at 2 AM? well, grab a snack and buckle the fuck up, because this is about to be the most chaotic, unhinged, and ICONIC void state experience you’ll ever hear. and yes, it all started with fucking sleep paralysis.

***

i was minding my damn business, trying to fall asleep like a normal human being. except—plot twist, bitch—i woke up, but my body DIDN’T. now, I’m no stranger to sleep paralysis. this wasn’t my first rodeo. but usually, i’d get all dramatic, start internally screaming, panicking, and trying to force my body to wake up like i was trapped in a horror movie. not today, satan. this time, i thought, “you know what? fuck it. let’s roll with it.” and baby, that was the best decision I EVER made.

***

so im lying there, completely frozen, staring at the ceiling, unable to even wiggle a toe. normally, this is where people start panicking. but i said, “NOPE. we’re gonna turn this sht into a spiritual awakening.” instead of fighting it, i just relaxed into it. And that’s when things got weird as fuck.

***

all of a sudden, my body started feeling weightless. like, full-on “i just smoked something illegal” type of floating. my arms? gone. my legs? didn’t know her. my entire physical body? irrelevant. it felt like i was sinking and floating at the same time, like my consciousness just detached from my body. and at this point, i had two options:

1. freak out and fuck it all up.

2. stay calm and become the baddest void-state diva alive.

so, obviously, i chose option 2.

***

the next thing i knew, i was in a space of pure blackness. no thoughts, no body, no sense of time—just infinite stillness. it wasn’t scary. it wasn’t boring. it was just… nothingness. and bitch, let me tell you, it was the most peaceful thing i’ve ever felt. this was it. this was the VOID STATE. now, you know me—i wasn’t about to waste this golden opportunity just floating around like some lost soul. i had shit to manifest.

***

once i realized i was in the void, i got straight to work. i didn’t waste time asking questions. i didn’t overthink it. i just stated my desires like the main character that I am.

“i have unlimited confidence.” boom, felt it sink in immediately.

“i manifest money effortlessly.” boom, i could feel abundance already flowing my way.

“my life is a fucking dream.” boom, reality bent to my will.

i wasn’t asking for these things. i wasn’t hoping for them. i just said it, felt it, and it was done. and that, my friends, is the real power of the void state. no resistance. no effort. just instant manifestation.

***

at some point, my body decided it was done being paralyzed, and i snapped right the fuck back into my bed. one second, i was vibing in the void, the next? i was staring at my ceiling like i just got hit by a cosmic bus.

and let me tell you, i felt DIFFERENT. i felt powerful. like i had just hacked the universe and came back with all the cheat codes. my energy was unmatched. and here’s the wildest part—everything i affirmed in the void started showing up in my real life.

my confidence? next level.

opportunities? popping up out of nowhere.

money? rolling in like the universe was throwing me a fucking parade.

and all i did was lay there, accept the void, and state what I wanted.

***

[uniquexusposts]

Little surprise - C. Leclerc

Summary: Y/n is pregnant and meets her husband Charles at the track as a surprise.

Y/n turned off the tv and got up from the sofa. She was satisfied with the results from her husband, Charles Leclerc. Monaco was one of his favourite circuits, mainly because it was his home Grand Prix, but faith didn't agree with those previous years. It's sad to say he had never finished the Monaco Grand Prix before. However, this weekend seemed to be good.

"Are we going to see daddy?" Y/d/n asked and looked hopeful at her mum. The three-year-old had been waiting to walk down the streets to see her dad. It was a weird situation for Y/d/n; her dad was never home at a race weekend, but this weekend he was.

Y/n smiled and nodded. "Shall we go then?" Y/d/n heavily nodded. "Go put on your shoes, love."

Y/d/n crawled off the sofa and ran to the hallway to grab her shoes. It made Y/n happy to see her daughter excited. You would say: 'you live in Monaco, there's a race, why not visit it?' Well, it sounded easier than it looked. Y/n was pregnant with her second child, which was the best thing that ever happened to her - and to Charles, but she struggled a lot with sicknesses. It made it challenging to show up at races; it was uncomfortable.

"Mummy, can I bring Raf and Peter?" Y/d/n walked back to the living area with her two favourite stuffed animals; she held the giraffe and rabbit up in the air.

"Are you sure you want to bring them both?" Y/n asked and packed her bag. "Are you sure you won't lose them again?"

"No."

It happened one time before Y/d/n lost Raf and Peter. They were relaxing at the Ferrari facility, but the trouble and drama it caused... Y/n and Charles preferred not to be in that situation again.

"Sure, but they are your responsibility now." Y/n softly smirked; she knew Y/d/n would leave them somewhere around anyway. "Are you ready?"

The little girl started to jump and happily giggled. Y/d/n was a daddy's girl, so there was nothing more exciting than going to see your dad. She had been watching the third free practice all morning - well, the parts with Charles. Obviously, Y/d/n was too young to understand what Formula 1 was, but seeing her dad and his friends was all she needed to enjoy herself.

"Raf and Peter are happy to see daddy too," Y/d/n said and looked at her teddies when she stepped in the lift. "Can I press the button?" She looked up, and her arm reached for the button. Y/d/n grew a few centimetres by standing on her tiptoes.

"You are getting tall, sweetheart," Y/n proudly smiled. "I think daddy is happy to see Raf and Peter too.” She stroked her daughter’s hair.

She quickly looked in the mirror; it was the first time in days Y/n dressed up. She was wearing a maxi dress. It covered up her 20-weeks bump, but it showed she was carrying a tiny human. As shoes, she picked Birkenstocks, just for the comfiness. Her hair was curly, and her makeup was minimal. At first, she doubted what to wear. As a wife of a driver, people expect you to look stunning and stylish all the time. Over the years, it became less for Y/n, but it was still bothering her in some ways.

"Give me your hand," Y/n instructed Y/d/n. As soon as they left the apartment building, they stepped into the busy world of racing. Every spot in Monaco was busy and chaotic due to the race weekend.

Y/d/n grabbed her mum's hand, but quickly let it go. "Can Raf sleep in your bag?"

A soft smirk rolled over Y/n's lips; there you had it. "Of course, love." Y/n opened her bag and lowered it for her daughter. "Sweet dreams, Raf."

Y/d/n gave Raf a kiss. "Sleepy sleepy, Raf," and carefully put Raf in the bag. "Are we going to see uncle Pierre too?" She grabbed her mum's hand again, and they started to walk towards the entrance of the track.

"I don't know, love. Maybe we will see him, or uncle Carlos. We will look for them, yeh? But first, we need to find daddy."

"Yes, we need to find daddy first."

Once Y/n and Y/d/n arrived at the track, they scanned their passes. Y/d/n excitedly imitated the check-in sound of the gates and walked on the stairs. Y/n followed the small girl, also trying to find out where Charles possibly could be. They crossed the track and entered the paddock/pit lane area.

"I see daddy!" Y/d/n cheered and started to run away.

Before Y/n could stop Y/d/n from running, it was already too late. Y/n looked up and noticed Charles was still in an interview in front of his garage. She pressed her lips into a tin line and followed her daughter to her husband; this escalated...

"Daddy!"

Charles recognised the high voice, but he assumed this couldn't be his daughter since she wouldn't be here today. He continued talking to the reporter, but squeezed his eyebrows together when he heard the voice again. Charles looked behind the reporter and cameraman, and a small girl was running towards him. It was Y/d/n.

"Daddy," Y/d/n breathed and raised her arms up in the air.

"Bonjour, mon amour," he greeted and lifted her up from the ground. "What are you doing here?"

Y/d/n smiled. "I wanted to see you," she giggled. "Mummy is here too!" She pointed at a woman who was walking towards them as well.

Charles' face softened; he really didn't expect to see his wife at this Grand Prix due to the heavy sickness. It was a real surprise. "That is a surprise," he chuckled and looked back at Y/d/n before looking back at the reporter. "I'm sorry," he mentioned and politely smiled. "Thank you," he ended the interview and gave the reporter a nod. Charles stepped away and walked towards Y/n. "Hey," he said, surprised. "You here as well?" A teasing smile grew on his face.

"What a coincidence," Y/n cheekily said.

"I really didn't expect you to be here," Charles honestly said. At first, he was disappointed when he and Y/n decided she would attend the race, but safety and health first.

Y/n smiled. "That is kinda the point of a surprise," she said. "I'm feeling good, and Y/d/n wanted to see you. So if you don't mind, we are gonna watch the qualification here?"

Charles couldn't be happier; this really made his weekend better. "Of course." He looked at Y/d/n, who was hugging him like she hadn't seen him in a while - they saw each other this morning before Charles left to prep for the day. "I'm really surprised. It's good to see you, babe," he said and gave her a kiss. "You look beautiful," he whispered in her ear.

"Thanks..." She shyly smiled. "You had a great morning. It's too early to say it, and I hope I won't jinx anything, but it seems like a good weekend."

"Please, don't cheer too soon," he replied and looked painfully at his wife. "We have said this for years, and it just... escalates every time."

"Maybe it won't this time."

They started to walk towards the Ferrari hospitality. "My weekend is already amazing because you all are here. How is the baby?"

Y/d/n laid her head on Charles' shoulder and looked around her. It wasn't all new to her, but it surely was overwhelming. Her eyes fell on someone who was waving at her; it was Pierre Gasly. Y/d/n looked up and happily waved back at Pierre.

"Good, she's calm now, and the sickness is gone." That was something huge; this was the first time in the pregnancy this happened.

Charles proudly smiled. "That's good. If you don't feel good or need anything, you will let me know, okay?"

"I will, don't worry, Charles."

It was the second time Y/n showed up at a Grand Prix during her second pregnancy. People adored the young family; they were happy to see the family together. And to see the baby bump. 

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos@crashingwavesofeuphoria@maryvibess @chocolatefartstrawberry @snzleclerc @ironmaiden1313@blodwyn4u

[amirawrah]

⭐︎ This is all i want

with JOBE BELLINGHAM⭐︎

synopsis: After a playful movie night turns into a chaotic pillow fight, you and Jobe find yourselves tangled up in laughter—and something even deeper. A heart-melting confession and a soft morning after prove that this love is exactly where you both belong.

The evening was set. The lights in your living room were dimmed low, your favorite blanket was spread out across the couch, and a bowl of popcorn sat beside you. Everything was perfect for your cozy movie night with Jobe—except for one thing.

You were both in the middle of trying to pick a movie.

Jobe scrolled through your list of favorites, clearly unimpressed with each option. He let out a dramatic sigh.

“Why do you even like these?” he said, teasing, flicking through the options. “They’re all, like, the same thing. Sad and dramatic.”

You raised an eyebrow, turning your head to look at him. “Excuse me?”

You were both laying on the couch, a pile of pillows surrounding you, your legs tangled together under the blanket. You gave a light tug on the corner of the blanket, pulling it tighter around the two of you. “My movies are classics, Jobe. You just don’t get it. They’re emotional, heart-wrenching. They’re art.”

Jobe snorted, his eyes glinting mischievously. “Yeah, art that makes me cry. No thanks.”

You glared at him playfully. “You’re just mad because your taste in movies is... well, I don’t know how to say this nicely—terrible.”

Jobe’s eyes widened as if you had just insulted his entire existence. “Terrible?! What do you mean, terrible? I have impeccable taste. I’m all about the classics. Action, adventure, you know, something that actually makes me feel alive, not sad for no reason.”

You giggled, shaking your head. “Please, we both know your idea of a ‘classic’ is some boring superhero movie with explosions and people yelling at each other.”

“Excuse me, The Dark Knight is a masterpiece,” Jobe argued, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back into the couch.

You scoffed, leaning in toward him. “It’s literally just a man in a bat suit throwing punches. It’s not even that deep. You know what’s deep? The Notebook. Now that’s a movie that makes you feel all the things.”

“Ugh,” Jobe groaned, dramatically rolling his eyes. “You’re not serious. Are you telling me you would pick The Notebook over Inception? Come on, babe, that’s a no-brainer. Inception blows The Notebook out of the water.”

You threw your hands up in the air, mock-exasperated. “You’re impossible! There is no way you can convince me that Inception is better than The Notebook—not in a million years.”

He tilted his head and gave you a sly smile. “I bet you five pounds you can’t even follow the plot of Inception. It’s way too complicated for you.”

“Me? Not understand Inception?” You gasped in mock horror. “I get it just fine, thank you very much. I’m not the one who falls asleep halfway through a movie, Mr. ‘I only watch action scenes."

“Oh, we’re going there?” Jobe raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “You always fall asleep halfway through every movie. The only reason we’re having this debate is because I have to keep rewinding scenes that I know you missed because you were too busy snoring.”

“I do not snore!” you protested, your cheeks turning a little pink.

“Oh, yes you do,” he said, his grin widening. “And don’t even try to lie about it. You always make that cute little snoring sound right around the climax or something.” He laughed as you playfully slapped his arm.

“That’s it,” you huffed, turning away from him. “I’m choosing the next movie. No more superhero nonsense, no more confusing plots—just something sweet.”

Jobe grinned. “Fine. You choose. But I’m picking the snack. No more of this weird popcorn with chocolate in it.”

Your eyes widened in mock offense. “What do you have against chocolate popcorn? It’s delicious, Jobe. Get with the program.”

“I’ll never understand you,” he muttered, shaking his head.

You both stared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter, the whole room filled with the sound of your playful banter. It was always like this—easy, fun, and light-hearted. There were no pretenses, no pressure. Just the two of you, enjoying each other’s company and being unapologetically yourselves.

You picked a movie—The Princess Bride, naturally—and tossed the remote back on the coffee table. You pulled the blanket tighter around you, leaning back into the pillows, ready to settle in. But before you could fully relax, Jobe suddenly reached over and grabbed one of the pillows, pulling it playfully toward him.

“What are you—”

Before you could finish, he launched the pillow at you. It hit you right in the face, and you gasped dramatically. “Oh fuck you Bellingham!”

You grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it back at him with as much force as you could muster, but he was already diving at you, his arms pulling you into a pillow fight that quickly escalated from playful throws to full-on chaos. You found yourself laughing uncontrollably as the two of you rolled around on the floor.

You were both so caught up in the moment that you didn’t even realize netflix was asking 'are you still watching'. The floor was now covered in scattered pillows and blankets, the remnants of a chaotic but incredibly fun night. You lay there for a moment, breathless, with your head resting against his chest, your laughter still echoing in the room.

He looked down at you, a soft smile on his face, his fingers brushing through your hair. “This is what I want every night with you,” he said, his voice low but sincere.

Your heart skipped a beat. The sound of his words, so simple yet so full of meaning, made the room feel like it was spinning, but in the best way. You couldn’t help but smile, your cheeks flushing just a little.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same,” you whispered back.

You stayed like that for a while—tangled up in blankets and pillows, his arms around you, the two of you just enjoying the silence and the quiet intimacy of the moment. No movie, no distractions, just you and him.

And somehow, in that peaceful, perfect chaos, you knew this was exactly what you wanted too.

You both lay there in the aftermath of your chaotic pillow fight, the soft hum of your breathing the only sound filling the air. Jobe’s hand was resting casually on your waist, but the way his thumb lightly traced small circles on your skin sent a tingle straight to your core. You shifted slightly, realizing just how close you were. Your heart picked up the pace, and you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you met his gaze.

He was looking down at you, his expression soft but intense, like he was considering something more than just the playful banter you’d been indulging in. You swallowed, suddenly feeling aware of how his body was pressed against yours, the space between you shrinking with every passing second.

“You know, you look pretty cute when you're flustered,” he said, his voice a low murmur that made your stomach flip. There was something in his tone—playful, yes, but there was an underlying hunger there too.

You couldn’t help the shy smile that tugged at your lips, but it wasn’t enough to hide the way your body reacted. The way his eyes were on you now—focused, intense, a little too quiet—made your pulse quicken.

“Really?” you teased, trying to keep the tension light. You shifted again, this time to get a better look at him, but your movement brought you even closer, your chest brushing against his.

Jobe’s breath caught in his throat, and you saw the way his jaw clenched just slightly. His hand, which had been resting on your waist, slid slowly to the small of your back, pulling you closer until your bodies were flush. The shift was subtle, but it was enough to make you feel how much he wanted you—how much he’d always wanted you.

For a moment, neither of you said anything. The room seemed to shrink, the playful atmosphere from earlier replaced with something heavier, more urgent. Jobe’s lips parted slightly as he leaned down toward you, his nose grazing the side of your face.

“Mhmm,” he whispered, his voice thick with longing, “I don’t think I can go another night without kissing you like this.”

And with that, the playful teasing of earlier gave way to something more primal. You didn’t need another word—his lips crashed against yours, urgent and heated, with all the desire he’d been holding back since the moment you two had started teasing each other.

Your hands found their way to his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt as you responded with equal intensity. His lips were soft but demanding, pressing against yours with a hunger that made your stomach tighten. You melted into him, your body naturally arching toward his, desperate for more.

Jobe let out a soft groan as he deepened the kiss, his hand moving from your back to the side of your neck, his thumb gently tracing the curve of your jaw. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you couldn’t help but respond, your hands slipping beneath the hem of his shirt, grazing the warmth of his skin.

He pulled away just enough to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours. His eyes were dark with desire, pupils blown wide. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he murmured, his voice rough. “You have no idea how hard it is, being this close to you and not being able to… to feel you like this.”

A rush of heat flooded through you, and you pushed yourself up to meet him, closing the distance again, your lips brushing against his in a softer, slower kiss this time. The sensation of his lips on yours felt electric, like every touch, every breath was building toward something more.

He responded by pulling you on top of him, the change in position allowing you to straddle him, your body now fully pressed against his. The contact sent a jolt of electricity through you, and for a brief moment, you hesitated, your body tingling with anticipation.

“Jobe…” you whispered, your voice shaking slightly, unsure whether you should push further or just enjoy the intimacy you’d already built.

“Shh,” he whispered, his hands running down your back, his fingertips barely grazing your skin in a way that made you shiver. “Don’t think. Just feel.”

He brought your lips back to his, and this time the kiss was deeper, more urgent, as if you both had been waiting for this moment for too long to stop now. His hands roamed under your shirt, brushing against your skin, and every touch made your breath hitch. You responded by tugging at the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head in a desperate need to feel more of him.

The air between you both was thick with the electricity of your connection, and with every movement, the urgency grew. Your fingers found their way to the waistband of his pants, your mind now clouded with the heat of the moment. But before you could go further, he gently grabbed your wrists, stopping you.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, but the intensity of his gaze made your heart race. He was asking for your consent, your comfort, and you realized how deeply he respected you.

You looked down at him, eyes searching his. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your body on fire with desire, but you needed that moment to be as much about trust as it was about passion.

“Absolutely,” you whispered back, your voice steady despite the rush of emotions flooding through you.

A slow smile curled on his lips, and he pulled you back into a deep kiss. The world outside your little bubble ceased to exist as you both gave in to the connection, the passion that had been building for so long.

You woke up to the soft glow of morning light peeking through the curtains, painting the room in a hazy, golden hue. For a moment, you didn’t move—you just let yourself breathe, wrapped up in the warmth and quiet that surrounded you.

Your body felt heavy in the most delicious way, like every muscle was still humming from last night. Every memory rushed back at once—the laughter, the teasing, the way Jobe had touched you like you were something sacred.

You shifted slightly, feeling the barest brush of skin against skin—and that’s when you realized you weren’t alone.

Jobe’s arm was draped lazily around your waist, his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his breath warm and slow against your skin. His body was pressed against yours, tangled in the mess of blankets you both hadn’t bothered to fix after collapsing into bed hours ago.

You smiled to yourself, heart swelling. It felt… easy. Natural. Like you belonged there, in his arms, like you always had.

You twisted a little to face him, careful not to wake him, but your movement must’ve stirred him because he let out a low, sleepy groan and tightened his arm around you.

“Mm… stay,” he mumbled, voice thick with sleep, his lips brushing against your shoulder.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered back, running your fingers through his messy curls.

He shifted again, finally lifting his head enough to blink at you through heavy eyelids. His hair was a chaotic mess, and his face was still flushed with leftover warmth from sleep.

And he was smiling. That soft, lazy kind of smile that made your heart ache with how beautiful he was.

“Morning,” he rasped, his voice deep and rough in a way that made you shiver.

“Morning,” you replied, feeling your cheeks heat under his sleepy gaze.

For a long moment, neither of you said anything. You just stared at each other, grinning like idiots, soaking it all in—the closeness, the quiet, the fact that there was nowhere else you’d rather be.

Finally, Jobe stretched, letting out a soft groan as he pulled you even closer, burying his face in the curve of your neck again.

“You’re too good to be real,” he muttered against your skin.

You laughed, the sound muffled by his hair. “Says the guy who’s literally clinging to me like a koala.”

He grumbled sleepily, clearly not in the mood for teasing yet. “'Cause you’re comfy,” he defended weakly, his hand smoothing over your back in slow, lazy strokes. “And warm. And… mine.”

The last word was whispered, almost too quietly to catch, but you heard it—and it made your heart flip so hard you were sure he could feel it beating against his chest.

You tilted your head back to look at him properly. “Yours, huh?” you teased gently, smiling against his hair.

He lifted his head just enough to meet your eyes, his expression completely serious despite the playful words.

“Yeah. Mine,” he said, voice low and certain. “And I’m yours. If you’ll have me.”

Your breath caught. You didn’t even have to think about it.

“I already do, Jobe,” you whispered.

His smile turned into something softer, almost shy, before he dipped his head and kissed you. It wasn’t heated like the night before—it was slow, sweet, like he had all the time in the world to show you how much he meant it.

When you finally pulled apart, you rested your forehead against his, both of you smiling so wide it was almost ridiculous.

“So…” you said after a while, voice teasing. “What’s the plan for today? Stay in bed forever?”

He smirked, eyes glinting with mischief. “Sounds about right. Maybe we can argue about movies again, have another pillow fight…” He trailed his fingers lightly up your side, making you squirm. “…maybe repeat a few things from last night.”

You laughed, swatting at him playfully. “Wow.”

He gave you a mock-offended look. “It’s your fault. You’re too pretty to leave alone.”

You rolled your eyes dramatically, but you couldn’t stop smiling. How could you, when Jobe Bellingham was holding you like you were his whole world—and when you felt exactly the same way about him?

And in that messy, sun-drenched room, tangled up in him, you realized you wouldn’t change a single thing.

[amyzworldds]

Title: The Little Secret

Masterlist

At a chaotic idol game show, Seventeen’s wild maknae yn hides a massive crush on Stray Kids’ Bang Chan, keeping it secret from her 13 teasing members. Pairing: Seventeen x Bang Chan x 14 member Genre: Fluff, Humor

Seventeen had been buzzing with excitement all week—they’d been invited to a massive idol game show, a chaotic mashup of silly challenges, alongside other groups. The dorm was a whirlwind of practice runs and Hoshi yelling, “I’m winning the water balloon toss, no one stop me!” yn, their wild maknae, usually thrived in this madness, plotting pranks or hyping the boys with her unhinged energy. But today? She was hiding a secret that could unravel her in front of everyone: she had a massive crush on Stray Kids’ Bang Chan. And no one—not a single one of her 13 members—knew. She’d kept it locked tight, knowing full well they’d tease her into next year if they found out. “Hoshi oppa would make a weverse post about it,” she muttered to herself, shuddering. “Seokmin oppa would sing a love ballad in my face. Nope. Not happening.”

The day of the show arrived, and the group piled into their dressing room, a mess of hairspray, costume racks, and Mingyu tripping over a chair. Yn, usually bouncing off the walls, sat oddly quiet in a corner, twirling her hair. She sidled up to Joshua, casual as she could muster. “So, uh, Shua oppa… which groups are here today? Just curious.”

Joshua shrugged, adjusting his mic pack. “Oh, you know, the usual chaos crew. NCT Dream, (G)I-DLE, Stray Kids—”

“Stray Kids?!” Yn blurted, eyes widening before she caught herself. “I mean… cool. Coolcoolcool. That’s… neat.” She spun away, heart hammering, and beelined for her stylist. “Unnie! My makeup—it’s okay, right? Not too much? Not too little? Like, cute but natural? Please say yes.”

The stylist blinked, brush mid-air. “Uh, yeah, yn-ah, you look great. Why’re you stressing? You’re always fine.”

“Just checking!” Yn chirped, too high-pitched, then darted to Seungkwan. “Kwanie oppa, do I look good? Like, pretty? Tell me the truth!”

Seungkwan squinted, suspicious but sweet. “You’re gorgeous, yn-ah. Always are. What’s with you? You’re acting like it’s your first stage.”

“Just… feeling it today!” she said, flashing a nervous grin before bouncing to Vernon. “Bononie oppa, am I cute? Like, cute cute?”

Vernon tilted his head, chewing gum. “Yeah, dude, you’re adorable. Chill, you’re killing it.”

“Aw, thanks!” she cooed, clutching her cheeks. The members exchanged glances—yn was being sweet. Too sweet. Normally, she’d be wrestling Hoshi for the last snack or yelling at Dino to stop stealing her iced coffee. Something was up, but they let it slide, too busy hyping each other up.

Showtime hit, and the groups lined up for intros. Seventeen went full SEVENTEEN—Hoshi cartwheeled across the stage, DK moonwalked into a mic stand, Seungkwan struck a diva pose, and Mingyu tripped over nothing, earning roars of laughter from the other groups. Embarrassment? Not in their dictionary. Then came yn. Instead of her usual chaos—backflips, goofy faces, or yelling “CARATS, I LOVE YOU!”—she just… walked. Smiling softly, waving daintily, like a princess in a parade. The other groups blinked. The MCs blinked. Stray Kids, lined up nearby, tilted their heads. Bang Chan, standing at the front, smiled politely, and yn’s knees nearly buckled.

“What… was that?” Jeonghan whispered to Woozi as they sat down. “She didn’t even dab or something.”

“She’s being… cute?” Woozi muttered, frowning. “That’s not her.”

The show rolled on—races, trivia, a ridiculous dance-off—and yn was a shadow of herself. Shy giggles instead of cackles, timid steps instead of wild leaps. During a water balloon toss, she delicately handed the balloon to Jun, murmuring, “Careful, oppa,” instead of chucking it at his head like usual. The members were officially weirded out. Bang Chan, meanwhile, was obliviously charming across the set, laughing with his members and acing every challenge, while yn snuck glances, her cheeks pink.

Break time hit, and the groups scattered to their corners. Seventeen huddled, whispering furiously, while yn stood at a mirror, practicing a sweet, dimpled smile. “Okay, tilt head… soft eyes… ‘Hi, I’m yn!’—no, too loud, softer—‘Hi, I’m yn…’ Perfect.” She nodded, pleased, then turned to see 13 pairs of eyes staring at her.

“Yn-ah, you okay?” Seungcheol asked, arms crossed. “You’re acting… weird. Quiet. Shy. That’s not you.”

“Yeah!” Hoshi jumped in, flailing. “You didn’t even laugh when I slipped on the wet floor! You just… smiled! Are you sick?!”

“I’m fine, Cheolie oppa, Hoshi oppa!” she chirped, batting her lashes. She twirled to them, clasping her hands cutely. “Do I look cute? Like, super cute? Tell me!”

“You’re always cute,” DK said, squinting. “But this is… extra. What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” she sang, spinning back to the mirror. “Just feeling cute today!”

“Liar,” Seungkwan accused, stepping closer. “You’ve been all timid and blushy since we got here. Spill it, yn-ah. What’s up?”

“Nope!” she said, popping the ‘p’ with a grin. “No spilling! I’m good! Perfect, even!” She wouldn’t budge—Bang Chan was right there, across the room, and she wasn’t about to let her crazy side loose. No way was her crush seeing her tackle Mingyu or scream-laugh at Hoshi’s antics. She’d be cute, poised, normal—for once.

The members weren’t buying it. “She’s hiding something,” Vernon whispered to Dino. “She keeps looking over there—” He nodded toward Stray Kids, chatting in their corner.

Dino gasped. “You think… a crush?!”

“No way,” Jun scoffed. “She’d tell us. Right?”

“Would she?” Jeonghan smirked. “She knows we’d tease her ‘til she cries.”

The show resumed, and yn’s shy act held—giggling softly at the MC’s jokes, waving cutely at the crowd, avoiding her members’ probing stares. During a team relay, she “accidentally” ended up near Bang Chan, who smiled and said, “Nice job out there!” yn squeaked, “T-thanks!” and bolted back to her spot, face flaming. The boys clocked it, eyes narrowing.

The game aftermath had Seventeen buzzing with suspicion, but yn was determined to keep her Bang Chan crush under wraps. Backstage chaos reigned—idols mingling, staff rushing around, and her members still whispering theories about her shy act. She needed a safe zone, so she stuck close to Minghao and Wonwoo, the group’s quietest duo. They weren’t the type to pry or tease her into oblivion like Hoshi or Jeonghan would. With them, she could breathe, maybe even vent a little without risking a full-blown interrogation.

The three of them were tucked in a corner near the dressing rooms, away from the main bustle. Yn was mid-ramble, pacing as she talked. “So, Hao oppa, Wonwoo oppa, I was thinking—maybe we should do a chill tiktok next time, you know? Like, just vibes, no crazy stunts. I’m kinda over falling on my face for views—” She took a step back, gesturing wildly, and thud—slammed right into someone.

“Oops, sorry!” a warm voice said behind her. Yn spun around, and her eyes ballooned to cartoonish size. It was Bang Chan. Stray Kids’ leader, her secret crush, standing there in all his dimpled, apologetic glory, smiling sweetly at her. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you—my bad!”

Her heart did a triple backflip. Her cheeks flared redder than a stoplight. “I—uh—n-no, it’s fine!” she squeaked, voice cracking like a middle schooler’s. She stumbled back, one hand clutching her chest, the other flailing until it latched onto Minghao’s arm for dear life. “Ohmygodohmygod,” she wheezed, hyperventilating as Bang Chan gave a little wave and walked off, oblivious to the meltdown he’d triggered.

Minghao steadied her, eyebrows shooting up, while Wonwoo tilted his head, peering at her like she was a science experiment. “Yn-ah… you okay?” Minghao asked, voice calm but laced with amusement.

“I think I’m gonna die,” she gasped, gripping his arm tighter, her other hand still pressed to her racing heart. “Hao oppa, Wonwoo oppa, this is the best day of my life. He smiled at me. He talked to me. I’m—I’m ascending!”

Wonwoo blinked, then let out a low chuckle. “Wait… is this why you’ve been all shy today?”

Minghao’s lips twitched into a smirk. “Oh, I see it now. Bang Chan, huh? That’s the big secret?”

Yn’s tomato-red face snapped between them, panic setting in. “Shhh! SHH! No, no, no—don’t say it out loud!” She flailed her free hand, nearly smacking Wonwoo. “You can’t tell anyone! I trust you two—you’re the quiet ones! Please, oppa, keep it secret! If Hoshi oppa finds out, I’m done for—he’ll never shut up!”

Minghao burst out laughing, a rare full-on cackle, while Wonwoo’s deep laugh rumbled beside him. “Oh, this is too good,” Minghao said, wiping a tear. “You’re a mess, yn-ah. Look at you—clinging to me like a koala ‘cause Bang Chan said ‘sorry’!”

“It’s not funny!” she whined, but her pout only made them laugh harder. “He’s so nice, and I’m dying, and you’re laughing? Rude!”

“It’s hilarious,” Wonwoo deadpanned, grinning. “You went from ‘crazy maknae’ to ‘blushing schoolgirl’ in two seconds. We’ve got blackmail material now.”

“NO!” Yn yelped, letting go of Minghao to grab Wonwoo’s sleeve instead. “You can’t! I’ll—I’ll bribe you! I’ll do your chores! Just don’t tell the others!”

Across the room, the rest of Seventeen clocked the commotion. Hoshi perked up, squinting. “What’s going on over there? Why’s yn red? And why’re Hao and Wonwoo laughing?”

“She’s freaking out about something,” Seungkwan said, narrowing his eyes. “She’s been weird all day—look at her grabbing them like that!”

“Did she trip again?” Mingyu asked, craning his neck. “She’s not yelling, though. That’s sus.”

Seungcheol frowned, arms crossed. “They know something we don’t. She’s been dodging us since the show started.”

“Bet it’s a crush,” Jeonghan teased, smirking. “She’s got that blushy vibe. Who’s the lucky idol?”

“No way,” Dino scoffed, but he looked unsure. “She’d tell us… right?”

Yn, catching their stares, panicked. “Shhhh, oppa, stop laughing—they’re looking!” she hissed, shoving Minghao and Wonwoo behind a rack. “Act normal! Please, I’m begging you!”

Minghao grinned, patting her head. “Relax, yn-ah. Your secret’s safe with us. For now.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo added, smirking. “But you owe us. Big time.”

She groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Why did I pick the quiet ones? You’re evil!”

“We’re quiet, not saints,” Minghao quipped, still chuckling. “You’re too fun to mess with.”

The members kept staring, whispering theories—“She’s definitely hiding something,” “Maybe she ate Hoshi’s snacks again,” “Nah, it’s bigger than that”—but YN stayed glued to her safe duo, heart still racing from Bang Chan’s smile. She peeked through her fingers, muttering, “Best day ever… worst day ever…” Minghao and Wonwoo snickered, already plotting how to milk this secret without spilling it—yet.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The second break of the game show was winding down, and the backstage area was a flurry of idols grabbing snacks, fixing hair, and dodging staff with clipboards. Yn, still reeling from her earlier Bang Chan collision, had ditched Minghao and Wonwoo for a solo mission to the snack table. They’d wandered off to chat with some members, leaving her defenseless—and starving. She spotted a lone bag of spicy chips on the table, the last one, and grinned. “Finally, something good,” she muttered, reaching for it.

Her hand brushed against someone else’s, and their fingers tangled around the bag. She froze, eyes darting up, and—oh no—it was Bang Chan. Again. Standing there, all dimples and charm, his hand still on hers. Her heart somersaulted into her throat, her cheeks flaring redder than a chili pepper. “S-sorry!” he said, pulling back with a sheepish laugh, holding the chips out to her. “You take it—I didn’t mean to steal your snack!”

“N-no, it’s fine!” yn squeaked, shoving it back at him, her voice cracking like a rusty hinge. “You have it! I’m good!”

“No, really, it’s yours!” Bang Chan insisted, pushing it toward her again, his smile widening as he watched her blush deepen. The bag ping-ponged between them, back and forth, earning a full-on chuckle from him. “Okay, this is ridiculous—should we split it or what?”

Yn’s brain was a puddle. Split it? With Bang Chan? She nodded dumbly, clutching the table for support as he ripped the bag open and handed her half. “T-thanks,” she mumbled, staring at the chips like they were a love letter. He was looking at her—laughing at her blushy mess—and she was dying inside, but in the best way.

“So, how’s it going?” Bang Chan asked, popping a chip in his mouth, casual as ever. “You’re killing it out there—seventeen always so fun to watch.”

Her smile went full wattage, shy but beaming. “Oh, uh, thanks! It’s… chaotic, but fun! How about you? Stray Kids is amazing—I mean, you’re amazing—uh, I mean—” She clamped her mouth shut, mortified, as he grinned.

“Thanks, that’s sweet,” he said, unfazed by her stumble. “How’s it living with 13 older brothers? I’ve met a few of them—Vernon and Joshua, mostly. They’re a lot.”

She giggled, loosening up a fraction. “Oh, they’re insane. Hoshi oppa once tried to do a backflip off the couch and broke a lamp. Seungcheol oppa yelled at him for, like, an hour. And Mingyu oppa—he’s tall but trips over air. I love them, but they’re a circus.”

Bang Chan laughed, leaning closer. “That sounds like a riot. I’ve got my own chaos with the kids, but 13? You’re a saint.”

“Nah, I’m just loud,” she said, blushing harder but warming to the chat. “They say I’m the noisiest, but I think DK oppa wins that one—he sings in his sleep sometimes.”

“No way!” Bang Chan cackled, his eyes crinkling. “That’s gold. You’ve got stories for days, huh?”

She nodded, grinning like an idiot, her heart doing cartwheels. He was so easy to talk to—funny, sweet, perfect. She forgot the world for a moment, lost in his laugh, until—

“OH MY GOD, I KNEW IT!” Hoshi’s voice exploded from the corner, shattering her bubble. He was pointing while vibrating at her like a detective cracking a case, eyes wild. “IT’S BANG CHAN! I KNEW IT WAS BANG CHAN!”

Yn’s soul left her body. She whipped around, chips spilling from her hand, as the SEVENTEEN members swarmed like piranhas. “Hoshi oppa, NO!” she yelped, but it was too late.

“Bang Chan?!” Seungkwan shrieked, clutching Jeonghan’s arm. “That’s why she’s been all blushy and shy?! OH, THIS IS PERFECT!”

“Yn’s got a crush!” DK sang, twirling like a giddy kid. “Yn and Bang Chan, sitting in a tree—”

“STOP!” she wailed, flailing her arms, her face now a furnace. Bang Chan, beside her, laughed harder, clearly amused but not helping her case.

Mingyu bounded over, grinning. “Wait, wait, wait—so that’s why you’ve been ‘cute yn’ all day? Asking us if you’re pretty? For him?!”

“I hate you all!” she groaned, burying her face in her hands. “This is a nightmare!”

“A cute nightmare!” Seungcheol teased, ruffling her hair. “Aw, our maknae’s in love! Bang Chan, you’ve got a fan!”

“Shut up, Cheol oppa!” she hissed, swatting him away, but the teasing train had no brakes.

Hoshi darted closer, pointing between them. “I saw it! The chip hand-holding! The blushing! You’re busted, yn-ah! How long were you hiding this?!”

“Forever, and you ruined it!” she shot back, stomping her foot. “You’re the worst!”

Bang Chan, still chuckling, waved a hand. “Hey, I’m flattered, honestly. She’s cool—don’t tease her too hard.”

“Too late!” Jeonghan called, smirking. “She’s ours to torture now. Right, Wonwoo? Hao?”

Wonwoo and Minghao, rejoining the chaos, grinned like devils. “Oh, we knew,” Minghao said, crossing his arms. “She’s been a mess since you bumped into her earlier.”

“YOU TRAITORS!” yn gasped, pointing at them. “I trusted you!”

“We didn’t tell,” Wonwoo said, smirking. “Hoshi figured it out himself.”

“Detective Hoshi strikes again!” Hoshi crowed, striking a pose. “I’m a genius!”

“You’re a menace!” yn retorted, but her pout only made them laugh harder.

Dino sidled up, grinning. “So, yn-ah, you gonna ask him out now? Since it’s all out there?”

“NO!” she yelped, shoving him. “I’m moving to Antarctica! Goodbye!”

Bang Chan, ever the gentleman, smiled at her. “Hey, don’t let them get to you. It’s cute—I like your energy.”

Yn’s jaw dropped, and the members erupted again. “HE LIKES HER ENERGY!” Seungkwan screamed, clutching Vernon. “SHE’S DONE FOR!”

“I’m dead,” Yn muttered, sliding down to sit on the floor, chips forgotten. “Officially dead.”

The break ended, but the teasing didn’t. As they shuffled back to the set, the members kept it up—DK humming a love song, Hoshi chanting “Yn and Bang Chan!” like a cheerleader, Seungcheol fake-scolding her with a grin. Bang Chan shot her a playful wink from across the stage, and she groaned, hiding behind Minghao. “Best day ever… worst day ever,” she mumbled, while her members cackled, plotting a lifetime of torment.

Her secret was out, and Seventeen was never letting it die.

[terraswallows]

I’m not gonna apologize for being unapologetically me.

I’m awkward. I’m weird. I’m delightfully autistic and a little emotionally clumsy—but, I care so hard. I’m your soft, sapphic, slightly feral motherly trans girl who wants nothing more than to make sure her friends are happy, held, and occasionally flustered by a compliment they weren’t ready for.

I love my pronouns, even if I’m pretty chill about them. I love my body—my soft curves, my juicy little titty pillows, my deep, sultry voice that turns way too many heads and sometimes makes me blush when I catch it just right. I’m a freak of nature in the most delicious way. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I live in the tragic middle ground of being painfully kinky and an unbearable softie. Like—yes, I absolutely want to pin a pretty girl down and make her beg... but also?? If she whimpers even a little, I might melt into a puddle of “are you okay sweetie?” and start stroking her hair. You gotta really ask for it, darling—I’m too busy being lovesick and enchanted by your eyes to even pretend to be mean.

I’m a silly trans girl who still sometimes fumbles her words and struggles to read the room, but I show up with my whole heart every damn time. And when I love someone—friends, crushes, soft sapphic sweethearts—I do it with everything I’ve got.

So no, I’m not gonna apologize. Not for being tender. Not for being chaotic. Not for being me.

I am softness and sin, velvet and fang, a hand to hold and a thigh to lay across—and I love this strange, perfect mess I’ve become.

[theseh00perscanh00p]

Par for the Heart: Part 2

paige x azzi

a/n: Hi guys part one got a lot more love than I had anticipated so thank you all for that! Hope this chapter doesn’t disappoint as always feed back is welcome and my anon box is always open come say hi!

word count: 7.4k

“Sunset to Sunrise”

Paige stared at her phone longer than she cared to admit.

It wasn’t like she didn’t want to text Azzi. She did—too much, probably. Ever since their first date, that flirty, unexpected evening that had ended with a goodbye she could still feel on her lips, Paige had been replaying bits and pieces like her brain was binge-watching a highlight reel.

Azzi had been… magnetic. Confident, charming, and disarmingly kind. Paige wasn’t used to that kind of attention without a catch. But Azzi hadn’t asked for anything. Just offered space and a smile—and then let Paige walk away without pressure.

That’s what made this text harder. Because this time, it was Paige reaching back. No bet. No teasing setup. Just… wanting more.

She exhaled slowly and typed:

Paige ⛳️

So… about that bet. When’s round two happening?

Immediately, the three bouncing dots popped up.

Azzi 🏀

👀 Paige Bueckers texting me first? Is this the part where I faint dramatically or just start bragging to my group chat?

Paige smirked despite herself.

Paige ⛳️

Calm down. It’s not that big of a deal.

Azzi 🏀

Oh, it is. But don’t worry, I’ll keep it between us. So what’s the plan, golf goddess? You asking me out or just trying to ruin my free time with your charmingly intimidating aura again? 😌

Paige rolled her eyes, thumbs already flying.

Paige ⛳️

I was thinking dinner. Just… us. No tournaments, no wagers, no golf carts.

Azzi 🏀

You’re serious? Like a real second date initiated by you?

Paige ⛳️

Don’t make it weird.

Azzi 🏀

Too late. I’m already picking out an outfit and telling my mom I found someone who texts first.

Paige ⛳️

Tell her she raised a menace.

Azzi 🏀

Tell yourself you’re lucky to have a second date with one.

Paige ⛳️

Friday?

Azzi 🏀

I’ll be there. Just don’t expect me to go easy on you this time.

Paige ⛳️

Now why would I want that?

She hit send, then locked her phone before she could second-guess it. There was something electric about being the one to reach out—terrifying, yes, but also… empowering.

Maybe this was what easing into something real felt like.

—-

The rhythmic echo of basketballs against the court filled the gym, sneakers squeaking in chaotic harmony. Azzi wiped sweat from her brow as she jogged to the sideline, grabbing her water bottle and phone during the short break Coach had called.

She took a swig, then tapped her screen—muscle memory bringing her right to Paige’s thread.

Paige ⛳️

Thinking I’ll pick you up Friday. Give you the full VIP treatment. Hope you’re not allergic to being wooed 😉

Azzi didn’t realize she was smirking until she felt a ball nudge against her foot.

“Uh oh,” came a voice dripping in amusement. “You’re smilin’ at your phone like someone just told you you made it to the WNBA All-Star game and Beyoncé followed you on IG.”

Azzi looked up to find Ice, her teammate and resident chaos-stirrer, grinning as she dribbled lazily in place.

Azzi rolled her eyes and tried—poorly—to act casual. “It’s nothing.”

Ice cocked her head, catching the glow still clinging to Azzi’s face. “Nah. That ain’t a ‘nothing’ smile. That’s a someone smile.”

Azzi chuckled, locking her phone and tossing it into her gym bag. “You’re in my business.”

“I live in it,” Ice shot back, taking a seat beside her. “Come on, spill. Is this that golf girl?”

Azzi gave her a side glance. “Paige. Yes.”

Ice’s eyebrows arched. “Damn, Paige got you out here cheesin’ in the middle of practice?”

“She said she’s picking me up Friday.” Azzi tried to sound nonchalant but failed. Miserably.

“Ohhh, she’s putting in effort-effort.” Ice fanned herself dramatically. “Okay, lil miss ‘I don’t catch feelings.’”

Azzi leaned back on her elbows, letting the gym lights blur above her. “She’s different, Ice. Real different.”

“Different how?”

Azzi smiled, small but genuine. “She doesn’t need me to be impressed. She just… sees me.”

Ice nodded slowly, her teasing settling into something more thoughtful. “You sure you’re ready for that?”

Azzi didn’t answer right away. She glanced down at her phone again.

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I think I am.”

Ice gave her a gentle nudge with her shoulder. “Then you better show up Friday like it’s game day.”

Azzi grinned. “Already planning my outfit.”

“Girl, just wear your jersey. That’s what I fall for.”

Azzi laughed, tossing her towel at Ice as Coach blew the whistle. “You’re hopeless.”

Ice winked. “And you’re whipped. Let’s go, lovebird.”

They jogged back onto the court, but Azzi couldn’t stop the bounce in her step. Two more days.

—-

Paige pulled up to Azzi’s place just as golden hour kissed the front steps, her Porsche 911 gleaming like it was posing for a magazine cover. She killed the engine, slid her sunglasses up into her hair, and took a slow breath—calm, cool, collected, as always. But something in her chest thrummed just a little faster than usual.

Walking up to the front door, she knocked once—measured, confident—then stepped back, fingers sliding into her pockets.

The door opened, and there was Azzi—leaning in the frame like it owed her money. A cropped black tank hugged her toned frame, high-waisted ripped jeans clinging in all the right places. Her curls were loose, skin glowing, and that smirk? Dangerous.

“Well, well,” Azzi said, giving Paige a once-over that was anything but subtle. “Pullin’ out the Porsche and knocking on my door like you’re trying to seduce me or something.”

Paige arched a brow, lips twitching. “Trying?”

Azzi let out a soft laugh, stepping out onto the porch, her eyes locked on Paige’s. “You’re doing a lot. I mean, I haven’t even gotten in the car yet, and I’m already wondering if I should be nervous.”

Paige opened the passenger door for her, tilting her head. “Maybe just a little.”

Azzi paused, leaning in closer as she passed her. Her voice dropped just enough to leave a trail of goosebumps. “Tell me this isn’t your normal pick-up routine.”

Paige smirked, holding her gaze. “What makes you think it is?”

Azzi slid into the seat, slow and deliberate. “Just figuring out how special I should be feeling right now.”

Paige closed the door behind her, circling around to the driver’s side with the faintest, cocky smile tugging at her lips.

Once inside, she started the engine, eyes on the road but voice smooth as silk. “Why don’t you decide by the end of the night?”

Azzi turned toward her, chin resting in her hand as she studied her profile. “Oh, I’m already forming an opinion.”

The Porsche purred down the street, and the air between them crackled—teasing, electric, full of unspoken promises.

—-

The drive was smooth, the kind that made time feel like a suggestion. Music low, conversation easy, teasing glances traded back and forth like inside jokes waiting to be born. Paige didn’t say where they were going—just shot Azzi a side-smirk every time she asked.

After about twenty minutes, the Porsche pulled off the main road and onto a private, gated path that led them toward the beach. The sound of waves grew louder, salt in the air thicker, and Azzi raised an intrigued brow.

“Okay, this isn’t a restaurant,” she said, twisting in her seat as they coasted down a gravel path flanked by dunes and sea grass.

“Nope,” Paige said simply, shifting into park and stepping out of the car.

Azzi followed, and the second her feet hit sand, her jaw loosened slightly. Down the short hill, nestled between two dunes, was a picture-perfect picnic set up—blanket, pillows, lanterns glowing soft amber, and a low table topped with silver-domed trays. A private bonfire pit stood just a few feet away, wood already stacked and waiting.

Azzi let out a low whistle. “Damn. You planned this?”

“I outsourced the aesthetic,” Paige admitted as they made their way down, “but the idea was mine. I figured it’d be quieter than a place with menus and strangers.”

Azzi looked over at her, one brow raised high. “Quiet’s one word for it. Romantic’s another.”

Paige shrugged, but her eyes held steady. “You make me want to try.”

Azzi’s smirk faltered for just a second. Something warmer slid into her gaze. She looked back out at the ocean, then at the setup like she was trying to clock whether this was real.

“I’m not gonna lie,” she said, as they sat down on the blanket, “you’re setting the bar stupidly high. Like, next time I’m gonna have to fly you to Paris or something just to compete.”

Paige grinned, leaning back on her palms. “Good. I like competition.”

Dinner was quiet at first—shared bites, a few laughs, feet brushing beneath the table like it might be on accident. But neither pulled away. By the time the sun kissed the water, Paige had lit the bonfire, its flicker catching the curve of Azzi’s smile as she let her gaze linger on Paige for few moments too long.

The breeze cooled as the sun dipped below the horizon, and Azzi tugged the blanket around her shoulders with a little dramatic shiver.

“Is this part of the plan too?” she asked. “Getting me cold so you have an excuse to huddle up?”

“I don’t need an excuse,” Paige said, tossing the other half of the blanket around them both.

They sat shoulder to shoulder, fire crackling beside them, the hush of the waves wrapping around their quiet.

After a few beats, Azzi looked over. “You always this smooth, Paige?”

Paige didn’t answer right away. She glanced out at the water, then back at Azzi with something softer behind her eyes. “Only when I care about the outcome.”

Azzi’s smile faded into something more serious. “That’s a dangerous line.”

“I know,” Paige said.

But neither moved away.

—-

The waves rolled in, steady and rhythmic, the kind of soundtrack that made it easier to say things you’d normally keep close. The fire cracked beside them, casting golden light across their faces. Paige sipped the last of her wine, her fingers still brushing lightly against Azzi’s beneath the shared blanket.

Azzi leaned back on her elbow, eyes trained on the ocean but her voice turned inward. “You wanna know something kinda reckless?”

Paige tilted her head, intrigued. “Always.”

“That day at the golf tournament…” Azzi paused, her tongue running along the inside of her cheek like she was chewing on whether to say it. “I didn’t even know I was gonna go until that morning. It was on my calendar, sure, but I was in a mood. Woke up grumpy, sore from practice, totally ready to flake.”

“And yet there you were,” Paige murmured.

Azzi smiled. “Yep. There I was. And then you walked up to the practice putting green like you owned the whole course. All quiet power, like—” She huffed a soft laugh. “Like you didn’t even care if anyone noticed, but you knew we were gonna anyway.”

Paige’s lips tugged up, that reserved smile of hers making another appearance. “I remember you watching.”

“Oh, I was watching,” Azzi said, shifting so she could face her more directly. “You had this aura. I couldn’t not approach you. It wasn’t confidence—I mean, okay, yeah, I’m confident—but it was instinct. Something in me said go.”

“And you trusted it?” Paige asked, her voice soft but earnest now.

Azzi nodded. “Yeah. That’s the part that was reckless. I didn’t know if it would work out. I didn’t even think that far ahead. I just saw you, and I wanted to know what made you tick.”

Paige was quiet for a second, her gaze lowering. “Most people don’t stick around long enough to figure that out.”

Azzi tilted her head. “Why not?”

Paige hesitated. The firelight flickered in her eyes as she let the words come slowly. “People have a habit of seeing what they want in me. Not who I actually am. When I don’t meet the version they created, they… leave. Or worse, try to mold me.”

Azzi let that settle. Then, carefully, she reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Paige’s ear. “I didn’t approach you to change you, Paige. I liked what I saw. Still do.”

Paige met her gaze, something vulnerable lingering in her expression. “Even if I’m not always easy to read?”

Azzi grinned. “I’m good at puzzles. And I’ve got time.”

They sat like that for a moment longer, the silence thick but not heavy—more like a pause to appreciate the weight of something real beginning to form.

Finally, Azzi nudged her shoulder gently. “Besides, you picked me up in a Porsche and brought me to a private beach for a sunset dinner. I’d say you’re the one who’s got me figured out.”

Paige chuckled low, but her eyes stayed on Azzi, warmer now. “Maybe I’m just good at instincts too.”

“Look at us,” Azzi said, bumping her knee against Paige’s under the blanket. “Two athletes, trusting our guts.”

“And hoping we don’t crash the play,” Paige added with a wry smile.

Azzi leaned in just a touch. “Feels like we’re already winning.”

The fire crackled beside them, casting long shadows across the sand. The ocean murmured steadily in the background, and for a moment, it felt like the world had gotten quieter, smaller—just the two of them in this little bubble of flickering light and crashing waves.

Azzi leaned back again, hands tucked behind her in the sand, her knee still grazing Paige’s under the shared blanket. She glanced sideways. “You’ve got that look.”

“What look?” Paige asked, her voice barely above the breeze.

“That quiet one. Like you’re thinking about saying something but you’re not sure if you should.”

Paige didn’t respond right away. Her gaze had drifted back to the ocean, but her fingers were playing absentmindedly with a frayed edge of the blanket between them.

“I used to think being mysterious made me stronger,” she said finally, voice soft but steady. “The less people knew, the less they could hurt.”

Azzi turned to fully face her, sensing the shift.

“But I think…” Paige continued, glancing down at her hands, then back up at Azzi, “it just made me lonely.”

Azzi’s expression softened. “Is that what you are? Lonely?”

“Not right now,” Paige said, a smile flickering—small but genuine. “Right now, I feel… seen.”

Azzi let that settle, the weight of it hitting with a gentle sort of gravity.

“I don’t say things like that easily,” Paige added, brushing her hair behind her ear. “And I don’t let myself feel things too quickly, either. Not anymore.”

Azzi didn’t push. She just waited, giving her space.

“But I’m attracted to you,” Paige said, looking directly at her now. “That’s not subtle. You’re beautiful, you’re bold… and you’re kind in a way I wasn’t expecting.”

Azzi’s lips parted like she might say something, but Paige kept going.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is… I don’t want this to be a rush to something that burns out fast. I’ve done the whole fireworks-then-crash thing. I want real. I want to take time to build something solid.”

Azzi’s smile returned, slower this time. “You want slow?”

Paige nodded. “I want right. Whatever pace that means.”

Azzi leaned in just a bit, close enough that Paige could smell her perfume—warm, floral, with a hint of something spicy underneath. Her voice was velvet when she said, “Then I’m not going anywhere. I’m good with slow. I’m even better with intentional.”

Paige exhaled—like she hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath.

Azzi reached out, brushed her fingers gently against Paige’s hand beneath the blanket. “You don’t have to be mysterious with me. You don’t have to shrink or edit or protect me from the truth of you.”

Paige let her fingers lace with Azzi’s, tentative but trusting. “You’re kind of infuriatingly good at this, you know.”

Azzi grinned. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

They stayed there like that, wrapped in firelight and quiet understanding. No kiss, no grand gesture—just two hearts inching closer, trading pieces of truth, and deciding—together—that this was worth the time it would take to get it right.

—-

The beach had gone quiet, all but for the gentle hiss of the tide rolling in and out. Paige helped Azzi gather their things, folding the blanket with care, extinguishing the fire with a bucket of water she’d stashed nearby. Even in the simple movements, there was a softness in how they moved around each other now—like the walls had shifted, not fallen, but gently lowered.

They walked back to the car, still quiet, but it was a comfortable quiet. A kind of silence that said everything didn’t need to be spoken all at once.

Paige opened the passenger door to the Porsche for Azzi again, that subtle charm still on display. Azzi looked at her over the roof of the car as she settled into the seat.

“You always this smooth?” she teased.

Paige raised a brow, closing the door with a smirk. “Only when I mean it.”

They drove with the windows down. The cool night air slipped through the car, tousling Azzi’s curls and making Paige’s hair dance around her cheeks. The road was quiet, the city just a glow in the distance.

Azzi glanced at Paige, one arm resting on the door. “I haven’t had a night like this in… I don’t know. A long time.”

Paige’s hands stayed steady on the wheel, but her eyes flicked over, soft and sure. “Yeah?”

Azzi nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been on dates. I’ve had moments. But this?” She smiled. “This was real.”

Paige’s throat worked around something unspoken. “That’s what I wanted.”

The GPS told them they were two minutes from Azzi’s place, and neither of them seemed thrilled by that fact. The car fell quiet again, tension humming between them—no longer uncertainty, but a kind of charged potential.

Paige pulled into the driveway, cutting the engine. She turned slightly in her seat.

Azzi didn’t reach for the handle. “So…”

“So,” Paige echoed, smiling lightly. “This is the part where I pretend I’m not thinking about walking you to the door.”

Azzi leaned back against the seat, cocking her head. “And why wouldn’t you?”

Paige looked at her for a beat, something slow and magnetic moving between them. “Because if I do, I might not want to leave.”

Azzi’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Maybe I wouldn’t want you to.”

Paige let out a quiet breath, then shook her head with a small laugh. “This is dangerous.”

Azzi grinned. “We just said we’re going slow.”

Paige’s eyes held hers. “Yeah. Slow… doesn’t mean without feeling.”

For a moment, they just sat there in the dark, the engine ticking softly as it cooled. Paige finally reached out, brushing a stray curl from Azzi’s forehead, her fingers lingering just a second too long.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” she said, voice lower now.

Azzi didn’t say anything—just opened the door and waited for her on the sidewalk.

They stood at the front step, barely a foot apart. Paige glanced at her lips, then back up to her eyes.

Azzi gave her a lopsided smile. “You gonna kiss me or keep staring like that?”

Paige grinned, leaning in—not to kiss her, but to press a soft one to her cheek, right near her jaw. “Not yet.”

Azzi blinked, caught off guard in the best way.

Paige stepped back, hands in her pockets. “I’ll text you when I get home.”

“You better.”

Azzi watched as Paige walked back to the car, the Porsche purring to life and pulling away down the street, tail lights fading.

She touched her cheek where Paige had kissed her and shook her head to herself, smiling.

“Damn,” she whispered. “This woman’s gonna ruin me.”

—-

Paige pulled into her driveway, the low hum of the engine fading as she cut the ignition. She sat there for a moment, hands still on the steering wheel, staring out at the quiet night.

The porch light cast a soft glow across the front of her house, but it was nothing compared to the way her chest felt lit up. A warmth she hadn’t let herself feel in a long time. One she wasn’t entirely sure what to do with—but she knew she didn’t want to run from it.

She finally made her way inside, slipping off her shoes at the door and setting her keys on the counter. The house was still and dark, but her phone glowed in her hand as she unlocked it, thumb hovering for a second before opening her messages.

She didn’t even have to think about what to say.

Paige ⛳️

Made it home safe.

Whole drive back I couldn’t stop smiling.

The three dots popped up almost instantly.

Azzi 🏀

Guess I’m not the only one then.

I still haven’t wiped this stupid grin off my face.

Paige ⛳️

What are we doing to each other?

Azzi 🏀

Whatever it is… don’t stop.

You made tonight feel like a dream.

Paige ⛳️

If it was a dream, I’d ask you to show up in that cropped tank again.

Azzi 🏀

Oh, so that’s what had you fumbling the cork on the wine.

Paige ⛳️

I didn’t fumble. It was… a tactical delay.

Azzi 🏀

To stare at me longer? Bold move, Ms. Golf Star.

Paige ⛳️

Worked, didn’t it?

Azzi 🏀

Every damn time.

Goodnight, Paige.

Paige ⛳️

Goodnight, Azzi.

And… thank you. For trusting me with tonight.

Azzi 🏀

Anytime. You just keep showing up like that… and I’ll keep saying yes.

Paige set her phone down beside her bed, the smile still tugging at her lips as she pulled the covers over her. For the first time in a long time, her mind didn’t spiral before bed. No second-guessing, no cold retreat into self-doubt.

Just that steady warmth of something starting to matter.

And the image of Azzi’s grin, burned into her thoughts like a soft echo of a spark that hadn’t even reached its full flame yet.

—-

Azzi woke up to sunlight slipping through the blinds, painting stripes across her bedroom floor. For a moment, she just lay there, letting the warmth settle over her skin. The night before played back in her mind like a favorite song on repeat—the soft laughter, the quiet moments by the fire, the way Paige’s eyes held her with something so steady and real.

She reached over to her nightstand, fingers brushing her phone. Her thumb hovered over the screen before she finally unlocked it. No new messages yet, but the lingering smile from their late-night texts wouldn’t fade.

She stretched, the memory of Paige’s soft kiss on her cheek still warm against her skin. Azzi sat up, the casual confidence from last night mingling with a fluttering excitement she wasn’t used to feeling.

This was different.

Her teammates would joke about her “game face” — fierce, unbreakable. But with Paige, she’d let that guard slip, just a little. And she liked it.

Azzi grabbed her phone and tapped out a message:

Azzi 🏀

Morning, Ms. Golf Star. Still smiling over here. Ready to make this third date just as unforgettable?

She hit send and waited, heart thumping with the thrill of what was just beginning.

Paige ⛳️

Morning, Azzi. Still smiling too.

And yep, let’s make this third date even better than the last.

She glanced at the message once more before setting her phone down. Her smile lingered longer than she expected, the warmth spreading through her chest like sunlight.

The excitement of what was unfolding with Azzi felt both thrilling and grounding—a rare combination Paige wasn’t ready to let go of.

—-

The gym buzzed with energy, the crowd’s roar swelling like a tide as the teams warmed up on the polished court. Azzi laced up her sneakers, her pulse already picking up—not from nerves, but anticipation. Tonight wasn’t just any game; it was the first one since she and Paige had started seeing each other. And even though she hadn’t told Paige yet, part of her hoped she’d be there. She most definitely secretly hoped she would be. Back in the stands, the crowd was filling in fast. A few familiar faces, some fans, and then—right there, courtside—sat Paige, looking impossibly calm in a Nike puffer vest exposing her toned arms and baggy jean shorts looking effortlessly cool.

Azzi caught sight of her just as the referee blew the whistle. A slow grin spread across Azzi’s face, lighting her up from the inside out.

“Are you kidding me?” she muttered under her breath, already feeling her heart rate spike—for the game, sure, but mostly because Paige had made this night something unforgettable before it even started.

Paige caught her eye and gave a small, cheeky wave, the kind that said: Surprise.

The whistle blew, and Azzi’s world snapped into sharp focus—the squeak of sneakers on hardwood, the thud of the ball against the court, the shouts from teammates and coaches. But beneath it all, there was a new rhythm pulsing in her chest, louder than the crowd noise: Paige’s presence, just feet away, watching every move.

Azzi dribbled hard, weaving through defenders, but she could feel it—the weight of those steady blue eyes on her, the quiet encouragement in that gaze. It was like Paige was rooting for her in a way that no one else ever had, and it both calmed and fired her up.

She caught a quick glance from Paige during a break in play—a flash of that confident, knowing smile—and Azzi felt a spark she couldn’t ignore.

“Focus,” she told herself, but her body moved with a little more grace, a little more purpose, as if Paige’s energy was a secret boost.

Every pass, every shot, every sprint carried a new meaning tonight. Azzi wasn’t just playing the game anymore—she was playing for something more.

Paige sat court side, her eyes glued to Azzi as the game unfolded. Every move Azzi made was like poetry in motion—the fierce determination in her eyes, the effortless way she commanded the court, the raw power behind each dribble and shot.

Paige couldn’t help but be captivated. It wasn’t just the athleticism; it was the fire, the passion, the way Azzi seemed completely in her element. There was a magnetic pull, something electric that made Paige’s chest tighten and her breath catch.

She found herself leaning forward, unable to tear her gaze away. The way Azzi moved was hypnotic—grace under pressure, strength without arrogance. Paige felt a swell of pride, the kind you get when watching someone you care about absolutely shine.

Her mind wandered briefly to how lucky she felt—here she was, court side, witnessing this side of Azzi few others got to see. It was intimate, powerful, and quietly thrilling all at once.

As Azzi sank a basket, the crowd erupted, but Paige’s focus never wavered. She was right there with her—heart pounding, breath held, utterly mesmerized.

The final buzzer sounded, and the gym exploded in cheers. Azzi’s team had won, and she’d put on a show—32 points, every one of them hard-earned, every move a testament to her skill and drive.

Paige rose from her seat, clapping loudly, her smile wide and proud. As Azzi jogged off the court, sweat glistening on her skin and a triumphant glow in her eyes, their gazes met again. Paige caught the subtle smirk Azzi gave her—a mix of exhaustion and exhilaration.

Azzi weaved through teammates and fans, but her steps quickened when she spotted Paige waiting just beyond the barrier. Without hesitation, she slipped past the crowd and into Paige’s arms, the intensity of the game melting away in the warmth of their embrace.

“Wow,” Paige breathed, her voice low. “You were incredible out there.”

Azzi laughed softly, resting her forehead against Paige’s. “I had the best motivation sitting right there.”

Paige chuckled, brushing a damp strand of hair from Azzi’s face. “I’m lucky you noticed me.”

Azzi grinned. “Lucky? No, Paige… I’m the lucky one.”

They stayed like that for a moment, the world around them fading until it was just the two of them—breathing each other in, feeling the quiet thrill of shared victories, both on and off the court.

—-

The night air was cool against Paige’s skin as she stepped outside the arena, the distant hum of the crowd still echoing behind her. She glanced at her watch, then scanned the parking lot for Azzi while waiting at her car. Her heart fluttered with a mix of excitement and anticipation—not just for the surprise she’d planned but for the quiet moments ahead, just the two of them.

Paige’s lips curved into a smile. Azzi stepped out, still glowing from the game, her hair pulled back in a loose bun, eyes bright with curiosity.

“Ready?” Paige asked, opening the passenger door and holding it for her.

Azzi slid in with a grin. “I’m ready if you are, Ms. Golf Star.”

Paige climbed in and started the engine, the familiar roar of the car filling the space between them. As they pulled away from the arena, Paige reached over, taking Azzi’s hand in hers.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been planning this,” Paige admitted, her voice soft but steady. “I wanted tonight to feel special… just like you.”

Azzi squeezed her hand, her smile turning tender. “Well, you’ve already made it unforgettable. I’m all in.”

As the city lights blurred past the windows, the promise of the night stretched out before them—full of surprises, laughter, and the kind of connection that made everything else fade away.

The Porsche purred smoothly as Paige navigated through the quiet city streets, the night air cool but comfortable inside the car. Azzi’s fingers still laced with hers, her eyes flickering between the road ahead and Paige’s focused profile.

“So,” Azzi began, a teasing smile tugging at her lips, “how exactly did you pull off showing up courtside tonight? I mean, it’s not every day a pro golfer sneaks into my basketball game looking like she owns the place.”

Paige chuckled softly, glancing over with a playful sparkle in her eyes. “Let’s just say, I have my ways. A few calls, a little charm… and maybe some sweet talking to the right people.”

Azzi laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “You’re full of surprises, Paige. Seriously, I’m impressed. You’re making it really hard to keep up.”

“Well,” Paige replied, her tone low and mischievous, “I figured if I was going to date a basketball star, I’d better step up my game.”

Azzi shot her a mock glare. “Oh, really? So this is all a competition now?”

“Maybe,” Paige said with a wink. “But the prize is definitely worth it.”

They shared a laugh, the tension melting into easy warmth. Azzi’s gaze softened, and she leaned in just a little closer.

“Just so you know,” she murmured, “I’m really glad you showed up tonight.”

Paige squeezed her hand, her smile sincere. “Me too.”

The city lights stretched on before them, but inside the car, it felt like they were the only two people in the world—racing toward a night full of promise.

The Porsche glided to a smooth stop in front of a charming, softly lit house nestled among tall oaks. Paige killed the engine and turned to Azzi, her eyes gleaming with anticipation.

“Welcome to my little surprise,” Paige said, a shy smile tugging at her lips.

Azzi blinked, a flicker of disbelief crossing her face. “Wait… this is your place?”

Paige nodded, her fingers still intertwined with Azzi’s. “I wanted somewhere private, quiet. Somewhere we could just be us without distractions.”

Azzi’s grin softened into something more vulnerable, mixed with a touch of awe. “Paige… we’ve only just started. I wasn’t expecting you to bring me here.”

Paige shrugged, a little breathless. “I know we said we’d take things slow. But this feels right. No rush, just… honesty and space. I wanted you to see where I’m most myself.”

Azzi looked around, taking in the warm glow spilling from the windows and the gentle hum of nighttime life. Her heart thudded—not from nerves this time, but from something deeper.

“This is… really special,” she whispered. “Thank you for trusting me.”

Paige leaned in, brushing a soft kiss to Azzi’s temple. “Trust goes both ways. And I want this—whatever ‘this’ is—to be real.”

Azzi smiled, feeling the weight of that word settle between them like a promise.

—-

Paige led Azzi inside, the soft click of the door closing behind them muffling the quiet of the night. The interior was modern and clean, with sleek lines and an understated elegance that felt warm rather than cold. Azzi’s eyes immediately started taking everything in—the space spoke volumes without shouting.

On one wall, a large piece of abstract art caught her attention. The colors—deep blues and greens—reminded her of the lakes and forests Paige had mentioned back in Minnesota. A small plaque beneath it read simply: “Lake Superior,” and Azzi smiled to herself, already picturing Paige growing up surrounded by those tranquil waters.

As they moved further into the living room, Azzi spotted carefully arranged sports memorabilia—framed photos of iconic golf moments, a vintage set of clubs displayed with pride, and a few tasteful trophies tucked on a minimalist shelf. Nothing flashy, but each item felt like a quiet nod to Paige’s passion and dedication.

Azzi picked up a small, polished wooden box on the coffee table. She opened it curiously to find a collection of handwritten notes and postcards—letters from fans, thoughtful messages from friends, and even a few faded birthday cards. It felt intimate, like a glimpse into the chapters of Paige’s life.

Paige watched her quietly, a little shy but pleased. “I guess I’m not just a golfer,” she said softly. “There’s a lot more under the surface.”

Azzi turned, her eyes warm and sincere. “I like that,” she said. “It feels real. Like I’m getting to know the you that doesn’t show up on the course or the headlines.”

Paige gave a small laugh, her confidence flickering back in. “That’s the goal.”

Azzi stepped closer, brushing a hand lightly over Paige’s. “Thanks for sharing this with me.”

Paige’s smile deepened, and for a moment, the room felt charged with something gentle but electric—a connection that went beyond words.

After dinner, Paige carried the last of the dishes to the kitchen with a soft smile, then returned to find Azzi already settled on the couch, a plush throw draped over her legs. The fire in the hearth cast flickering shadows across the room, painting their faces in warm golden light.

Paige sank down beside her, pulling the blanket over both their laps. The quiet crackle of the fire filled the space between their words, making everything feel intimate and slow.

“So,” Paige began, her voice gentle, “tell me about growing up. What was it like for you before all the basketball fame?”

Azzi’s eyes softened, a trace of nostalgia threading through her usual boldness. “I grew up in the DMV area. Nothing glamorous—lots of scrapes, long afternoons shooting hoops in the driveway, and dreaming big even when it felt impossible.”

Paige nodded, listening intently.

“My family was huge on community and faith,” Azzi continued. “Basketball was my way out—and my way to stay connected, too. It’s funny how it all brought me here, to LA.”

Paige smiled, her fingers brushing against Azzi’s. “For me, it was Minnesota. Quiet winters, lots of snow, and golf courses I knew like the back of my hand. I didn’t always think I’d make it out here—sometimes it felt like the world was too big, too loud.”

Azzi glanced at her, curiosity in her gaze. “What made you take the leap?”

Paige paused, her voice dropping just a little. “I wanted to prove to myself I could do more. Not just for the game, but for me. I needed to step outside that quiet, reserved version of myself.”

Azzi reached out, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Paige’s ear. “And look at you now. Confident, even if you don’t always see it.”

Paige laughed softly, leaning into the touch. “Maybe I’m still figuring it out.”

The city outside faded away, leaving only the two of them—two athletes with different stories, but a growing connection that felt beautifully real.

The fire crackled low, casting a golden warmth over the living room. Paige and Azzi sat side by side on the couch, the blanket draped over their legs doing little to mask the way their bodies naturally leaned toward each other now. The air between them was quiet, but it pulsed—alive with the weight of everything unsaid.

Azzi exhaled slowly, eyes on the flickering flames before shifting to Paige. “You know…” she started, voice low, hesitant but honest, “I’m finding it really hard not to lean over and kiss you right now.”

Paige turned, eyes locking onto hers with something soft and vulnerable blooming behind them. She didn’t say anything at first—just took Azzi in. The curve of her smile, the nervous tension in her jaw, the way her fingers twitched slightly where they rested on the blanket.

“Yeah?” Paige finally replied, voice barely a whisper.

Azzi nodded, her gaze flickering to Paige’s mouth and then back up. “Yeah. Really hard.”

Paige’s lips curled into a subtle, teasing smirk, but her eyes gave her away—completely open, completely taken. “Then maybe… don’t fight it.”

Azzi leaned in, slowly at first, giving Paige every chance to pull away. But she didn’t. Paige met her halfway, her hand lightly resting against Azzi’s cheek as their lips finally met—tentative at first, then deepening with the kind of certainty that only built through weeks of slow, intentional connection.

The kiss wasn’t hurried. It was full of all the lingering looks, the late-night texts, the held-back confessions. Paige breathed in softly as they pulled apart just an inch, eyes still closed, lips brushing.

Azzi whispered, “Been wanting to do that since the golf course.”

Paige’s thumb gently grazed her jaw. “Me too.”

They stayed close, foreheads touching, a quiet smile tugging at both their lips.

And when Paige finally leaned back against the couch, Azzi followed, tucking into her side, the fire now a soft background to a moment that neither of them would forget.

No more wondering.

No more waiting.

Just them—finally, and fully—beginning.

They sat nestled into each other, the quiet hum of the fire filling the space between heartbeats. Paige’s arm draped loosely around Azzi’s shoulder, her fingers absentmindedly tracing light circles along her arm. Neither of them spoke much after the kiss—they didn’t need to. The silence wasn’t awkward; it was full and easy, like they’d finally found the pause button in a world that never stopped moving.

Azzi let out a soft sigh, her body sinking deeper into the comfort of Paige’s side. “This is dangerous,” she murmured.

Paige smiled against her temple. “What is?”

“This couch. The fire. You.”

A light laugh escaped Paige as she leaned her head back against the cushion. “If that’s your way of saying you’re getting sleepy, I’ll take it.”

“I’m just saying… I might never move again.”

Neither of them did.

Eventually, the warmth and the rhythm of shared breath lulled them into a light, unintentional sleep—soft, dreamless, safe. Wrapped in stillness.

When Azzi blinked awake, the room had dimmed even further. The fire was dying down, flickering embers barely giving off light now. She shifted slightly and felt Paige stir beside her.

“What time is it?” Paige mumbled, voice thick with sleep.

Azzi lifted her phone. “4:07 AM,” she said with a yawn. “Damn.”

Paige blinked, rubbing her eyes as she sat up slowly. “Wow. We really knocked out, huh?”

Azzi smiled, hair a little tousled, cheeks warm from sleep. “Your couch is dangerous. Told you.”

Paige glanced at her, then stood and stretched before looking back down at her. “You don’t have to drive home this late. Or early, I guess. You can crash here if you want. Guest room’s made up.”

Azzi raised a brow. “You sure?”

“Of course,” Paige said, tone gentle. “You can take the guest room—or, I mean, if you’re more comfortable out here, that’s fine too. I just don’t want you out on the road right now.”

Azzi stood, still wrapped in the blanket like a cape, and gave her a sleepy grin. “You’re really making it hard not to fall for you.”

Paige met her gaze, eyes soft. “I’m not trying to make it hard.”

A beat passed.

Azzi nodded, lips curving again. “Guest room’s perfect. But if I wake up in the middle of the night and raid your fridge, just pretend it didn’t happen.”

Paige laughed as she led her down the hall. “Noted.”

And just like that, the night stretched a little longer. Not rushed. Just real.

Exactly what they both wanted.

—-

The faint glow of sunlight crept through the curtains of the guest bedroom, gently nudging Azzi awake. She blinked slowly, disoriented for a moment before the memory of the night before came rushing back—couch cuddles, quiet laughs, their first kiss.

She stretched, rubbing her eyes, then made her way down the hallway, hair messy, heart calm. The house was still quiet, the kind of quiet that made the morning feel sacred.

When she opened the door to the bathroom, a small folded stack of clothes caught her eye. On the counter sat a pair of soft, gray sweats and a worn-out college golf T-shirt that had clearly seen better days—but it was clean, folded neatly, and smelled like whatever detergent Paige used: subtle and calming.

There was a sticky note on top.

For you—if you don’t feel like putting yesterday’s jeans back on :)

Azzi smirked, heart warming. She quickly changed, the clothes comfortably oversized. The shirt hung just right off her frame, and she tugged the drawstring on the sweats, still feeling the softness from sleep trailing through her limbs.

As she stepped out and padded barefoot down the hall toward the kitchen, the smell hit her—pancakes and fresh coffee. Her stomach growled in approval.

There was Paige, back turned to her, seated on one of the stools at the island. She had her iPad propped up, scrolling through something with casual focus, her coffee mug balanced in one hand. A stack of golden pancakes waited on the counter, two plates already set.

Azzi leaned against the doorframe for a second, taking it all in.

The simplicity. The thoughtfulness. The quiet charm that Paige didn’t even realize she had.

Azzi couldn’t stop the soft smile that tugged at her lips.

“Okay, I know I’m the one who said I might raid the fridge,” she teased, voice a little raspy from sleep, “but you’re out here making a whole breakfast buffet.”

Paige looked up immediately, eyes lighting up when she saw her. Her gaze lingered just a moment longer than it needed to on Azzi in her clothes, something flickering behind her eyes before she cleared her throat and smiled.

“You hungry?” Paige asked, setting her iPad down.

Azzi walked over, sliding onto the stool next to her. “Starving. But this? You’re spoiling me.”

Paige shrugged, a little sheepish. “Just figured you might be hungry before heading out. And it felt weird not to do something.”

Azzi picked up her fork, stealing a bite off her own plate. “You’ve got a strange definition of ‘not doing something.’”

Paige laughed softly, and for a moment, they just ate in companionable silence, the kind of silence that didn’t beg to be filled.

Eventually, Azzi glanced over at her. “You do this for all your overnight guests?”

Paige quirked a brow. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Azzi leaned her cheek on her hand, smiling behind her coffee mug. “I think I’m starting to.”

And just like that, the morning felt even warmer than the sunrise.

[star-lights-up]

(click for better quality)

the brainworms have gotten bad today. I'm not sure why, but my brain just needs a chaotic au with cassandra as charles's twin. or several chaotic aus. i just like need her as a character now. i need to get it in my head that he is a twin.

anywayyys i was thinking this would be like some sort of old timey au or... something. maybe they're just dressed weird idk but erik is some kind of business/lawyer or architect dude that's been hired to help charles out with setting up the school.

and so it goes: charles is slutty, cassandra knows this, charles is flirting with erik, cassandra thinks erik is an ass, and voila.

Also raven is like little and adorable and cassandra and charles take turns braiding her hair. Charles reads to her. Cassandra teaches her how to punch stuff.

also yes i purposely went and found pictures of the actors that made them look like they were in the same place/time period/dressed for the occasion idk so i didn't have to come up with clothes. i am lazy.

without text ⬇️

[mediumgayitalian]

When Cecil was little, peppermint meant coming in from the cold.

It meant warmth, it meant hot chocolate, it meant his mother was home early. He liked peppermint. He liked it especially in the candy canes he would lift around Christmas, slipped into his coatsleeves at a busy department store, devoured on the bus home as his mother snorted at him.

"I'm pretty sure they arrest thieving seven-year-olds here, you know. We don't have money for bail. You're staying there."

Peppermint was fine. He didn't think of it often.

On a Tuesday in July, when he was nine -- he remembers because Tuesday was when the camp store used to restock -- he hopped up the rickety steps of the brightest cabin in camp, picked up the three packages of candy that had fallen out of his bulging pockets, and knocked on the door.

"Will?" he called, peering through the darkened screen. "Are you here? You weren't at our spot."

Cecil does not actually remember how long it took for someone to come to the door. He remembers it took some time, because taking any time at all was unusually. He didn't usually have to knock. Even now, it is odd for the Apollo cabin door to be shut, especially in the daylight hours.

Eventually, there were footsteps. A tall, barefoot woman stepped out, swinging the creaky door closed gently behind her. A wave a peppermint followed her out, making Cecil's eyes water.

"Cecil," she said, smiling warmly. "Hey, kiddo."

Cecil rocked on his heels. "Hey, Cass." He glanced around her. "Where's Will."

"Oh. Um..." Cass turned back to face the door, biting her lip. In her silence, Cecil heard faint crying. "Come sit with me a second, okay?"

The oldest Apollo daughter sat delicately on the top porch step, tucking her long hair out from under her thighs. She patted the spot next to her, and after a moment -- staring at the door, straining to hear -- Cecil sat.

"Will," she said, after a moment, "is...sick."

Cecil frowned. "I thought you guys didn't get sick."

"We don't. Kind of."

Cecil waited. Cass didn't notice, looking out onto the common. He worried at her lower lip, fingers wrapping around her hair.

"He's not that kind of sick."

"What kind of sick?"

"You ever had a headache?"

"Yeah."

Cass traced a line in the woodgrain beneath them. "It's like that. A little."

"Well, can't you heal it? We're supposed to go in the woods today. Luke said he'll teach us how to trap a myrmeke."

"That's...no you're not. Tell him I said you two are absolutely not allowed to do that."

Cecil crossed his fingers. "Uh-huh. Can he come play soon?"

"...No, Cecil. He'll be sick for a while." She turned to face him, resting her chin on her hands. She smiled, slightly, but her dark eyes were round and wet. "Will gets something called migraines. It's like...um, imagine you're in the ampitheatre, doing sword practice. And then suddenly, boom! You're by yourself! And you're surrounded by monsters, but they're invisible. What are you going to do?"

Cecil pondered. That was a new one. Usually he imagined he's being attacked by Connor and Travis who have been cloned a million times and turned evil.

"Uh...start swinging?"

Cass smiled. "Right. Would make a pretty big mess of the ampitheatre, huh?"

"Probably."

"A little chaotic?"

"Duh."

"Hm." A cry came from the cabin again. That time, it was loud enough for both of them to hear it, even through the soundproofed walls. Cecil's stomach turned. "Sometimes, Will's brain thinks there's something wrong with it. But it doesn't know what. So it starts thrashing around, trying to get rid of whatever's hurting him, but it just kind of...makes things worse."

"So...his brain hurts?"

"Yes. It hurts so much that it makes his stomach hurt, and his skin, and even the lights hurt him a little."

The weird feeling in Cecil's stomach got worse. He turned toward the door, waiting, and after a few minutes, there was another cry, small and sad and hurt, like the one time he was walking home from school with his mom and they passed a puppy that had been left all by itself in an alley, barking for its mama. Cecil had cried the whole way home. He turned back to Cass, eyes burning.

"Oh."

"Yeah." Cass reached over and slid a hand over his shoulder, pulling him into her side. He stayed there, for a minute, hiding in her soft t-shirt. "It sucks, kiddo. I wish he could come play."

"When will he be better?"

Cecil pulled away, swiping quickly at his eyes. Cass let him, watching with soft eyes.

"Tomorrow morning, probably. Lee made him a salve with peppermint oil, and sometimes that helps. If he can sleep it off he might even be better by dinner." Cass glanced back at the screen. "I doubt it, though. This one is a bad one. You come by tomorrow morning though, okay? Bright and early. I'll tell Luke we need your help, he'll let you off your chores."

Cecil brightened. "Really? Can you tell him to give them to Connor instead?"

Cass snorted. "Don't push it, kid."

"Okay, okay." Cecil stood at her gentle push, climbing down the stairs and lingering on the crunchy grass. He fiddled under her raised eyebrows, reaching into his pockets. "Um, can you give him these? For when his stomach stops hurting."

He tossed up a pink package. Cass caught it, turning it over to read the label. She smiled.

"You steal these?"

"Yes."

"Nice." She tucked the Twizzlers in her pocket, grinning. "I won't tell, but Michael is still mad that you stole his comic books last week, si you better get lost before he sees 'cause he'll snitch. Bye, Cecil."

Cecil remembered the rage in Michael's eye and stepped quickly backwards.

"Bye, Cass."

She turned back up the stairs. The smell of peppermint was stronger.

It smelled a little less warm, this time.

-- -- --

next

[nosyp]

Twst chars from most to least likely to entertain ur weird bs

Note = by weird bs, I mean like ur random ass behaviours, from screaming random stuff to pranking ppl... This has been in my drafts for a whileee... enjoy

MOST

Ace Trappola

Ace is LITERALLY the embodiment of chaos. He loves to stir things up and will almost always jump into pranks or loud public behavior. His mischievous nature and carefree attitude make him a perfect partner in crime for wild antics. He’ll often initiate chaos just for fun, and his energy is contagious.

2. Kalim Al-Asim

This is a no brainer, he'll literally join in everything and ANYTHING you're doing, no matter how busy he is. He thinks everything your doing is fun and he won't wanna miss it for the world.

3. Cater Diamond

Cater LIVES for content and trends. Anything that promises or even slightly hints at entertainment (or is post-worthy) will have him fully engaged, he's listening as soon as you mention anything fun. He’ll even suggest to turn your antics into videos or memes.

4. Lilia Vanrouge

He literally tricks his friends for no absolute reason at all. ANYTHING that promises trouble for him, he's in. He adores chaos and he'll go wherever it goes and it's going in your direction.

5. Floyd Leech

Floyd loves unpredictability, so as long as your antics keep him entertained, he’s gonna be there. But once he gets bored, you’re on your own so you better keep it fun.

6. Jade Leech

He enjoys watching chaos unfold, and while he might not always start it, he’ll definitely join in. And he's not going to deny entry in your chaos.

7. Ruggie Bucchi

Another no brainer, bro literally tricks people for his own benefit. He is down for fun, especially if it’s harmless pranks or mischief. He loves silly ideas as long as they don’t get him into trouble.

8. Rook Hunt

Rook finds beauty in everything, even your weirdness. He’ll narrate your antics poetically while fully participating, making everything feel dramatic and epic, only further motivating you into doing smt crazier.

In the middle of most and least likely, varies on the situation kinda guy

9. Sebek Zigvolt

He’s loud, intense, and has a strong presence, especially when it comes to Malleus. And while he might not always go along with pranks, he can certainly be swept up in the moment, especially if it involves defending his pride.

10. Deuce Spade

Yes, he might be quite dumb sometimes but he is not like that all the time. But when he’s in a group, he’ll sometimes get swept up in the chaos, but it’s not something he seeks out on his own. He enjoys the excitement but can feel out of place in overly loud, chaotic situations.

11. Ortho Shroud

He'll engage with genuine enthusiasm, analyzing your dopamine levels to determine whether or not he'll join. If it’s wholesome, he’s all in. However, if it’s dangerous, expect him to step in with big-brother energy (even if he's younger).

12. Epel Felmier

Since epel is a bit more rebellious and will join in on chaotic behavior when it suits him. He’s not afraid to break the rules, especially if it’s for a good reason. BUT he might be hesitant to start chaos on his own but will happily get involved if it’s fun or a way to express himself.

13. Jamil Viper

Jamil is composed and prefers to keep things orderly, but he’s not completely against chaos. If it serves his goal or it’s in the best interest of his plans, he will engage but he’s not the first to initiate chaos, but he’ll follow along if it’s part of his strategy or if it helps him control the situation.

14. Azul Ashengrotto

Azul prefers things to be controlled and orderly, and he isn’t one to create chaos just for fun. However, if there’s a situation where the chaos might even benefit him or his business, he won’t hesitate to join in. His motivations are more strategic, so he’s likely to engage in pranks or chaos if it serves a purpose.

15. Leona Kingscholar

Leona is the type to avoid unnecessary noise and chaos, preferring peace and quiet. However, if he’s in a good mood or if chaos is tied to something that interests him, he might engage. He’s not the first to start pranks, but he might join in if he finds it amusing or if it helps him relax.

16. Malleus Draconia

Malleus doesn’t actively seek chaos, but his curiosity and fascination with human behavior make him more likely to get involved in loud or chaotic situations, especially if they intrigue him. He’s not loud or disruptive by nature, but he’ll join in if he’s in a group, or if the situation calls for it.

17. Jack Howl

Jack is a serious guy, but he’s also loyal to his friends. If the situation calls for it or if his friends are involved, he’ll reluctantly join in on pranks or chaotic activities. He’s not one to seek out chaos, but he’ll participate if it’s necessary or if it helps bond with others.

18. Silver

Silver will go along with your antics even though he might not fully understand the point. BUT if it’s too chaotic for him, he’ll try to steer you toward calmer activities, kinda saving u and him from trouble.

19. Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle is strict and values rules and order above all else. His temper can get the better of him, though, especially if someone challenges his authority or pushes his limits. He might reluctantly get involved in chaos, particularly if it’s something that breaks the rules, but he’s not someone who enjoys it on a daily basis.

LEAST (No way, nuh uh)

20. Trey Clover

Trey is calm, collected, and extremely responsible. He values order and structure and will steer clear of any chaotic or loud activities. You'll NEVER catch him dragged into chaos, willingly.

21. Vil Schoenheit

Vil is all about maintaining perfection, both in his appearance and in his environment. He won’t tolerate loud or chaotic behavior, as it conflicts with his polished image. He avoids situations that might risk his reputation or status and is very unlikely to partake in any public mayhem.

22. Idia Shroud

It's no secret that Idia WAY prefers to stay out of the spotlight. He would rather stay in his room gaming than get involved in chaotic public behavior. Loud pranks and disruptive activities are his worst nightmare, and he avoids them at all costs.

A/N = The order is so... tacky ew... pls tell me if you disagree or there are any mistakes🙏

[nameless-jamie]

Can we get a story with Shandy doing the videos for the dating app and PA being there?

Maybe she’s a bit snarky with Shandy. And shandy hates that all the team love PA.

Bantr, not Banter.

Masterlist

Jamie Tartt x fem! PA reader

A/N: Omg yes! That totally gave me an idea. I hope you like it!

TW: cursing, suggestive scenes

The training room buzzed with the usual energy of AFC Richmond’s players as they gathered for the Bantr profile video shoot. Y/N was there too, as always. Where Jamie goes, Y/N goes. As his personal assistant, she was used to being around the team, even in the locker room. She had trained herself to keep her eyes focused on her laptop while the boys were changing. The funny thing was, they didn’t mind her being there at all. In fact, they enjoyed her presence, often asking where she was when she wasn’t around.

Today was no different. Y/N sat on the worn-out couch in the corner of the locker room, laptop open in front of her. She was supposed to be working—answering emails, scheduling Jamie’s endless appointments—but today, that felt impossible. Keeley's friend and PR assistant, Shandy, was there. Totally in her element, camera in hand, ready to capture the players’ finest one-liners for Bantr’s promotional videos.

"Alright, let’s get this party started!" Shandy’s voice rang out, cheerful and grating. "Bantr’s not gonna promote itself, right, guys?"

If you asked Y/N what she thinks of Shandy, she would say she doesn’t really know her. They’ve only spent a few hours together in the locker room with the team, and she wouldn’t judge a book by its cover…

If you asked Y/N again—this time for her honest opinion—she would say that Shandy is a bitch. Chaotic, overconfident, and totally unprofessional. The team would agree with her on that. Shandy knows exactly how to make someone feel uncomfortable, always flirting with every player, from Isaac to Bumbercatch. Worst of all, she flirted the heaviest with a certain Jamie Tartt.

Yes, Jamie was Shandy's latest target. And Y/N didn’t like that one bit. Not that she was jealous or anything… but every time Shandy shot a flirty remark at Jamie, it became harder to pretend she didn’t want to strangle her with the damn camera cord.

Jamie wasn’t too pleased with Shandy’s flirting either.

She had been making sly remarks all day, but Jamie—looking mildly annoyed—had been doing his best to ignore her. He could feel her eyes on him, her attempts to get his attention, but he wasn’t biting. He wanted nothing to do with it.

Shandy, however, wasn’t taking the hint. She leaned in closer, flashing her best flirty smile as she fiddled with the camera. “So, Jamie,” she started, her voice sickeningly sweet, “what do you look for in a woman? Someone who can keep up with you?”

Jamie gave her a flat look, his lips barely curling into a smile. “I don’t know, Shandy,” he said, trying to keep his tone neutral. “Maybe someone who knows when to leave me alone.”

Shandy pretended to pout, playing up the act. “Aw, come on, I’m just trying to have a little fun with you, Jamie. You know, we could have a blast together. Maybe after the shoot, we could grab a drink?”

Jamie raised an eyebrow, clearly weirded out by her antics, but too nice to really shut her down. “I’m good. I don’t drink at the moment—you know, with training and everything,” he muttered, his attention flicking over to Y/N, who was busy talking to Van Damme about his catchphrase for his own Bantr video. Jamie sighed. “Can I just say my line now?”

"Alright, Jamie," Shandy purred, adjusting the camera to get a better angle on him. "Tell the ladies what you're looking for in a partner."

Y/N's attention shifted to Jamie as the camera started rolling, curious about what he had rehearsed for the video.

Jamie, ever the charmer, gave a lazy smirk, leaning back in his chair with a cocky grin. "I'm Jamie fucking Tartt. I'm a footballer. And I promise you, I'm so charming, I'll make you laugh all the time… unless you want me to make you cry. Then, well, I’ve got my ways to do that too."

Y/N rolled her eyes at his prickish attitude. The team, however, erupted into woohoos and wolf whistles, clearly entertained.

While the other players were still chuckling at Jamie's flirty punchline, Shandy wasn’t done shooting her shot. She took a step closer, turning the camera off and lowering her voice just a little too much. "Oh, Jamie, I bet you could make me cry in more ways than one. If you don't drink, we could grab something to eat instead. Or your little servant over there could book us a hotel room... whatever you like."

Y/N’s brow furrowed as she looked up from her phone at the mention of herself, sensing the shift in the air. The locker room went quiet, but the glares directed at Shandy—especially from the players—spoke volumes. Her advances were hardly subtle, and Y/N could see it in Jamie’s eyes—he wasn’t interested. Still, it bothered her that Shandy kept pushing it. And calling her a servant? What a fucking b...

Y/N stood up, taking a deep breath. She had no patience for this—especially not today.

"Actually, Sandy," Y/N spoke up.

"Uhm—it's Shandy!" the annoying girl interrupted.

"Sandy, Shandy, Mandy—I don't care," Y/N shot back. "Jamie’s schedule is pretty packed today," she continued, her voice cutting through the tension in the room. "Training, a meeting with the coaches, and then he’s got to go over next week’s schedule with me. No time for dates—today or ever."

Jamie’s smirk deepened. He was relieved Y/N had saved him from the situation, but more than that, he found the slight jealousy in her voice ridiculously hot.

There was a beat of silence as the words sank in, and Shandy’s mouth opened and closed, a mix of surprise and disbelief crossing her face. Y/N, for a moment, didn’t know whether to laugh or roll her eyes.

“Oh, really?” Shandy finally stammered, clearly caught off guard. “Don’t you have to go fetch coffee or clean up after someone? You’re kind of killing my vibe here, girl.”

The tension in the room thickened, and for a moment, it felt like time had stopped. The team exchanged looks, and before anyone could react, Jamie’s voice cut through the air like a knife.

“Woah! Hey, hey,” he said, stepping forward, his face hardening. “Don’t talk to her like that, or we’re gonna have a bit of a problem here.” His eyes locked onto Shandy’s, fierce and unwavering. “She’s off-limits—ask anyone here.”

Shandy scoffed, clearly irritated. She glanced around the room and quickly realized that everyone was staring her down, their expressions a mix of annoyance and disapproval.

“Oh, I see,” she sneered. “You’re defending her, huh? What, is she your little girlfriend or something?”

Jamie’s gaze turned ice cold as he crossed his arms, stepping closer to Y/N as if to shield her from Shandy’s venomous words. Y/N could handle herself just fine, but she had to admit—it was nice having Jamie step in.

But, of course, he wouldn’t be Jamie Tartt if he didn’t make the situation extra.

“Nah,” he said, smirking. “She’s me wife.”

That idiot.

Before Y/N could react, Jamie slung an arm around her shoulder, grinning from ear to ear.

Y/N felt heat rise to her cheeks but quickly composed herself, trying not to let it show. “Cut it out, Jamie,” she whispered, half-smiling as she tried to play it cool. She wasn’t his girlfriend, and she was definitely not his wife, but the title made her heart race. Chill. You’re his assistant, Y/N.

Shandy’s mouth dropped open, her jaw working as if she couldn’t quite process what he had just said. Jamie’s smirk didn’t waver as he turned his attention back to Y/N, throwing her a wink.

Completely flustered, Shandy huffed, muttered a barely coherent “Whatever,” and started packing up her equipment before storming out of the locker room.

The second the door shut behind her, Y/N let out a small laugh and shot Jamie an amused look. “Really? I’m your wife now?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Where’s my ring, Tartt?” She wiggled her ring finger in front of his face.

Jamie just shrugged, a playful grin tugging at his lips. “I thought it’d shut her up,” he said nonchalantly. “And, well… it kinda worked.”

She’ll get her ring… someday, he thought.

Y/N chuckled, shaking her head. “You’re a mess, Jamie Tartt.”

“And you’re responsible for this mess,” he quipped, giving her a wink, clearly pleased with himself.

The players exchanged knowing glances, smirking to themselves. It seemed the entire room had just witnessed something that felt almost… too perfect.

It was just so obvious to everyone—except them—that they were completely, hopelessly in love.