#yes this is a cry for help. no i dont know how anyone can actually help

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

(girl who hasnt been hugged by a person who actually cares about it since early january voice) maybe i should kill myself lol

[platinum-horizons]

4

edit: 4 was NOT supposed to be there i dont know how it happened

Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.

[myl0v3l1f3]

emijeckole hcs or smth even tho no one asked

Nicknames : E - J : Jecks/babe/pretty girl E - N : Nic/ babe N - E : Babe/em/ems/ho N - J : Jecks/ho/babe/bitch J - E : Em/Ems/Babe(s)/bitch J - N : Nic/Babe/bitch/beautiful

(Future + Present) Nicole is really the only one who can cook real meals. They can all do microwave/oven meals, but thats as good as they get really. Emily can make pasta, and Jecka can make oven pizza but neither of them can make meals like nicole 💔

(Future) They all have self harm in some way and they all know they cant really stop eachover so they stock up on medical supplies like gauze and bandages so if they do need it its there

(Future) Nicole and Emily lwk forget to eat or if they do its takeaway or junk food (cus theyre too lazy to wash fruit or anything healthy) so jecka washes fruit and puts it in containers in the fridge so they actually get nutrients 💔

(Future + Present) Nicole and Jecka try hard to not accidentally piss Emily off because hg gets violent quick 😭

(Future) They all have VERY intense emotions. Nicole gets jealous strongly, so if she feels like Jecka and Emily are hanging out with eachover/other people more than her than usual, she'll immediately mute their notifications, not speak to them unless its dire, isolate herself away from them etc etc. She also gets great bouts of depression where she will just lay in bed all day, no eating no drinking no showering. She'll cut more than usual, cry at least twice, refuse to be near Emily or Jecka and its just a whole mess until the other two realise. Jecka gets angry incredibly quickly, mainly thanks to her dad. She likes the apartment tidy, basic cleanliness and presentable, since a lot of the time her own home was covered in alcohol bottles, used needles, and general nastiness unless 'work friends' were coming over. When Nicole or Emily leave their empty beer cans or half full takeaway on the coffee table it genuinely enrages her. During arguments, she can and will get loud and almost physical - but she does catch herself before she swings at one of the others. She'll shout a lot, she'll scream, most the nights the neighbours think that they're having a domestic. She'll also give the two silent treatment a lot over something as simple as living dishes in the sink, even though they could of rinsed it and put it in the dishwasher. She takes a lot of xanax to calm herself most days. Emily has BPD so she basically just lives her life like everyone who has BPD. (i dont wanna mischaracterise BPD or anything so fi anyone cud help me write this it wud b aprreciated

(Future) They have a minecraft world. Nicole built the house, Emily mined all of the resources and Jecka got a them a pet cat (Jecka doesnt know how to play for shit)

(Present) They skip to fuck in Emily's car, because Jecka doesn't want stains on her seats

(Present) How it started was Nicole and Jecka were like pining for each over and then Kelly 'accidentally' locked Jecka and Nicole into the kitchen pantry and left them there for like, 4 hours while she checked on Kylar in her yard to make sure no one was dead or there was a fire, and then Nicole and Jecka were both drunk and were like 'i rlly luv u and im drunk and i might b sick but ye' and then they made out and then dated 👍 And then the Emicole OD happened and Emily was like 'omg i rlly luv u nicole' and Nicole was like i have a gf and some other stuff and they had a threesoe and jecka didnt like it at first until Emily was started giving her discounts on adderal and xanax cus they were dating and gave her some spectacular head and then she was gud with it.

(Future) Jecka is a doctor, and lwk a really good one, Nicole is a tattoo artist, and Emily is unemployyed.

They all get really jealous, really quickly. And they all give eachover silent treatment when they're jealous

this felt really gay to write im sorry

[midnight--sadness]

OKOK let's imagine for a second, just for a second that the tracker in Gihun's ear transmits not only his location but also his sonic surroundings (I don't know how that's supposed to work, I'm stupid) and when Gihun comes home and sees his mother (this scene broke me so hard) Inho at that moment can hear this scarred traumatized boy calling for his mom, begging her to wake up, and then lying on the floor for hours choking on tears of despair and emptiness

did that touch anything inside Inho? I think ABSOLUTELY YES, I'm pretty sure (actually I don't remember if it was mentioned in the show, sorry, I need to rewatch it) that Inho's wife died while he was at the games, and it would be so symbolic, like, hearing a winner lose a loved one, who he went all the way for and lost more people close to him, and this after Inho went through the same thing himself (I'm sure he made some close friends during the games)

and what if this tracker could transmit Gihun's heartbeat, since it's under his skin, aaand Inho can… idk sometimes listen to this to calm down? idk, it crossed my mind 10 seconds ago

your mind is amazing, anon

they never confirmed, i dont think, if inho's wife and child died during the games, but it must have been so because if it was afterward he would have been able to help them, i think

gihun crying for his mom would def pull at inho's heart strings, especially since i think inho's own mom is dead (they could have gotten divorced but i dont think divorce was that common in the 90s in korea, but i am saying this without having done any research so i could be entirely wrong).

he would wonder if he should comfort gihun but he hasnt had any close relationships with anyone in years he doesnt think he is capable of it. and what would he even say? hes a stranger to gihun and he wouldnt believe that inho was passing by and heard his cries and decided to see if he needed help.

inho is enough of a weirdo to listen to gihun's heartbeat to calm himself down, its like his own version of lo-fi asmr

[lavaablast]

My headcanons pt1 (because i self project on everything)

(my opinion remember this is all silly fun) (also i change my mind contantly so expect me to edit this post constantly)

Kai Smith:

the band aid on his eyebrow is there because he has an eyebrow piercing, and he wants to protect it from getting ripped in battle (also doesnt want a scolding from Wu hehe)

self harms but instead of c///ing he burns because well, obvious reasons (less likely to be found out too)

orthorexic, is obsessed with being in peak physical form

hear me out on this one, i know he eats junkfood (so do orthorexics okay every 3d is diferent) anyway he never does it alone. he eats junkood only with other people, and he's always thinking he'll "make up for it" later. so yes he eats junkfood and yes he is orthorexic (felt like i had to defend my point there dsfsd)

body dysmorphia. knows he looks good but doesnt know what he looks like

"if i gave up on being pretty, i wouldn't know how to be alive" or wtv mitski said

has an extensive skincare routine but if anyone asks him he'll just say he "washes his face with cold water"

anger issues, but like he can explode on the ninja too and then he immediately regrets it but its too late which leaves him with... ->

guilt. ALL THE TIME. its in the back of his head wherever he goes

sun aries, moon sagittarius. i wont back down on this (im a sun aries and moon sag)

claims he "doesnt care" but actually cares so much it hurts (especially about Nya/Lloyd he'd do anything for them you hear me ANYTHING)

has strong morals and ideals but will give them up in a second when needed for survival of himself or the ninja (people often see this as a bad thing but he just wants everyone to live no matter the cost)

ironically, can't handle spicy food and is ALWAYS made fun of it by the others

is reckless and takes stupid risks because he does not care for his body whatsoever (the others think he doesnt know whats at stake, he does, but doesnt care when it's just his own saftey he's risking)

lowkey a perfectionist, but has a different idea of perfect than others so they wouldnt know (aka he needs things/himself/stuff he makes to be perfect, but not perfect objectively, perfect to what he thinks is right)

loves his parents because they tried their best, but still resents them. he hates that he does, but he does

cried all of his tears out ONCE after Nyas "death" and didnt cry at all after that, instead taking so much on his plate that he didnt get a single chance to think about it again (it'd be too painul, this was easier) which lead to....->

his grief being put on hold; and only when Nya already was back did it come out and he had no idea why he was feeling this way so he didnt tell anyone (what would he have said, im in agony for no reason at all?) and it was HELL to do it alone

tied to the above; he couldn't ask for help if his life depended on it (literally)

loves too hard

hates too hard

BPD coded (i dont wanna diagnose him but,,, im justsayinnn *whistles while walking away suspiciously*)

trust issues, but lowk all the ninja have them because like,,, just look at what they have to deal w bro

commitment issues because freedom is the most important thing in the world (after Nya/Lloyd) so settling down or commiting to one thing too long feels like threatining his freedom

actually smart (both emotinally and intelligently) but doesnt use his brains capabilities that much

great memory but also shit memory (remembers a whole row of numbers for no reason but forgets he has to pick up lloyd from the arcade..)

hot. thats all i rest my case

loves himself but hates himself

everything and nothing at the same time, everything about him contradicts himself, but also doesnt, but also does

hes a really simple person, really. but also the most complex one youll ever meet.

hates labels, especially being labeled by others (for the reasons above)

likes men but hates labels so,, no labels (not even the label "unlabeled")

infact he has a deep hatred for the label 'unlabeled' because if something is unlabeled, then why are you LABELING IT

red. everything is red redredred RED he loves red

has sibling bracelets with nya and lloyd (kai has green & dark blue, lloyd red & dark blue, nya red and green)

everything has to be red except the things that are black and orange. i rest my case once again

drinks just a bit too much for it to be considered concerning (started at 14)

will yell and scream at anyone who tries to help him (why do they think he needs help? why are they babying him? why cant the see he is capable?)

wouldnt let nya touch a bottle until she was 18 (be thankful nya its for the best)

paints his nails black or red.

has a strand of hair dyed red all the time

perfect teeth even tho he often forgets to brush them (how? fuck do i know)

would be a hyena i he was an animal

hates smartphones so he has a.. push-button phone?? whatever they're called. and he also only has the nokia brand. wont change it for a thing

"hates technology" but couldnt live without video games

loves to try new things but will have a breakdown if he HAS to try new things

stubborn asf, wont ever do anything he doesnt want to, which...->

makes people think he's selfish, but actually he's quite the opposite

selfless in an unconventional way, i'll make a drawing explaining it

please understand what i mean with that chart because it explains it so well in my brain

thats it for now cfdsfdr

[pabit]

[corrupted footage]

OH WOW. THESE COOKIES REALLY ARE FUCKING AWESOME. WELL DONE, COWBOY!

Haha, thank you thank you. I’m hoping this can cheer you up a little…you’ve had quite an emotional day.

EMOTIONAL? I'M NOT EMOTIONAL.

Really…? Sorry sweetheart, but I’ve read back on your posts from earlier today and…it seems to me like you’re full of those stinkin’ feelings, actually! 

YEAH, NO FUCKING DUH. I SAID I'M NOT “E-MO-TION-ALLL”…YA DIG? I DON'T WAIL LIKE A WENCH AT EVERY LITTLE INCONVENIENCE. BUT THAT'S NOT TO SAY I HAVE ZERO CAPACITY FOR “FEELINGS” EITHER. IT'S TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. SO DONT PISS ME OFF.

Oh fine. Let’s get serious then.

What about other feelings? In your story about Vinny, you said you had felt something there but couldn’t figure out what.

(HABIT swallows the rest of the food in his mouth and pauses his vigorous feasting to stare down into the cookie plate)

…FUCK. WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE, PATRICK. I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO CHEER UP…THIS TOPIC WON'T BE CONDUCIVE TO THAT END.

I am sincerely trying to help you, Habs, that's my angle. The fact is, I can cheer you up with small gestures that will certainly make you feel good for the moment, but you wont feel any better overall by refusing to talk about the shit that's dragging you down. 

…UGH. I GUESS YOU ARE RIGHT, BUT… VINNY IS DEAD – NONE OF THOSE FEELINGS FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE, PAT. THEY PROBABLY NEVER DID. WHAT MORE IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT?

Ah. That’s the part that haunts you isn’t it; the “probably” of it all. You’re uncertain, still confused about what happened here – what went wrong. And most importantly, you want to know why.

Am I correct?

……

Hm. 

………………….

Not going to answer me? Fine, fuck it. This is how I see it:

You became attached to this guy like ya never could with anyone else in the whole fuckin universe, Habit. And it felt so good to do so. You let yourself become lost in a fantasy; anticipating the thrill of having Vinny fumble over himself to keep you interested. Or how grateful he would be, to be the one entrusted with building you back up after every great fall; and you fall hard and often. You could crush him utterly and have him back in the next life. Vinny is much smarter and much stronger than he looks, and just as obsessive in his own ways…so he’d climb out of the rubble and do it all over again, just because he can; just because he wants to.

Oh yes…you and him would have grown so much stronger together, enough to take on the whole damn planet someday if you guys really tried. And you wanted that so badly. A monster-man and a man-made monster, gleefully kicking up the dust of all the world’s ashes, readying it for her new rulers: Vinny and the Habit, side by side, hand in hand, blood on blood.

It was a wonderfully childish ideal to believe in all that though, wasn't it? Even after all you’ve done for him, Vin betrayed you; taking all of those unspoken dreams and unfulfilled desires along with him as he dies to a fucking papercut.

So much time spent with him…now made completely pointless. So many pieces of your mind, heart, and body gifted to him, just to carelessly toss you to the curb when you weren’t looking…

It’s easier on a broken heart to deny that it’s broken in the first place. It's easier to fall in line when the numbness takes hold, and mindlessly insist that none of it matters; never did, never will. There's no reason to cry over spilled milk as they say. It's no big deal. It’s all just part of the game. Vinny was meant to be nothing more than a pawn on your board anyways. But he was indeed more than just that to you, wasn’t he?

Vin softened you and left you exposed to a world that won’t ever accept what you'll become even after he is gone; and he won’t be coming back, not this time. You and him made sure of it by bringing those awful weapons to life on that chilly fall evening before the end of the world. Your last full day together; where everything else in the universe ceased to exist beyond the confines perpetuated by two desolate dreamers; a warm fire at his legs; the melody of ghosts crowding around, crying out towards the inky sky above; beautiful and tragic all the same. You must have seen that in him, too.

After the end of it all, you got out alive and he did not. You didn’t win the game nor Vinny’s companionship, but you survived…and just barely.

Vinny is dead. 

And when that harsh reality slaps you across the face, you know you will never be allowed to forget the price you’ve paid, with suffering and with fire, for the loyalty that Vin never actually intended to give you. Now you’re covered with those scars. Razor sharp claws have sunk themselves deeply into you and won't let go. However…to whom do these claw marks belong to? Vinny; for betraying your trust and destroying your dreams? Or yourself; for letting him do it so easily…?

Why did you go back to your old sinking vessel, Habit?

Were you really so tempted by the belief that not taking Evan’s corpse would otherwise be wasteful? A shame?

Were you inspired by the discolored splotches painting decaying flesh in dull greys and blues; admiring the texture of his flesh canvas, well-weathered by the rain and the hungry mouths of all the tiny critters that feast happily upon each wrinkle?

Did the overwhelming smell of iron from all that ghastly bloodspill soaking into the ground below, brought up in the wafts of wet earth and wild mountain grasses, bring a wistful tear to your eye? 

Was Evan really worth all of that to you…?

…

No.

You weren’t there for Evan at all, I think. He was more of an afterthought if anything. It was Vinny you wanted to see though. And I believe that’s why you made the impulsive decision to repossess his friend’s body; it was the only way to be there at Vin’s side and feel him next to you, just one last time.

Then you ran away to avoid the consequences.

...........................................................................

>>

[7-starboi]

This is kinda long so I applaud you if you actually read all of it but this is what happens when you drink soju and take notes on all your commentary for a new bl episode...good luck🫡😂

Brooo such a cute way to start the ep, they make me sick 😅

They're so sweet it hurtsss, yotha I don't wanna be mad at you later ugh 😭

YOTHA HE JUST WOKE UP STOPPP😭

Faifa is such a little shit "good morning bro🤠"

"my brother is about to have friends"🤣

Oh shit here we go 🙄

Honestly she can be sad, but she did this to herself

YOTHA DO NOT TAKE YOUR ANGER AT YOUR MOM OUT ON GUN HOW DARE YOU, CALM DOWN

I want a hug from boom too🥺 but I know what you do sir and I don't like it!

I DID NOT EXPECT HIM TO SLAP HIM HOLY SHIT BUT LIKE KLAO YOU NEED TO CHILL

FUCK I DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HIM THAT FAST EITHER! HE MADE UP HIS MIND QUICK IG DAMN

YOU CAN CRY KLAO BUT HE LITERALLY TOLD YOU LAST EP HE CHOSE YOU BRO LIKE YOU GOTTA TRUST HIM, YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF, NOW GO REFLECT I NEED YOU GUYS TO BE ENDGAME(even if it's a little toxic cause I just love aouboom together so much😭)

Side note, pepper has been in everything lately and I'm all for it cause he's fine af like he honestly just has to sit there and I could stare at him all day(and yes, he's that pretty in person and he's just the sweetest🥹🖤)

Yothaaaa you can see he's upset you gotta apologize better come onn, you're lucky he's such a good friend 😭

I KNOW A LITTLE OF WHATS COMING BUT THAT WAS HONESTLY SO ADORABLE I WAS SQUEALING HE WAS LIKE "IDK HOW TO FIX THIS, DOES KISS AND MAKE UP WORK?" AHHH

I seriously didn't think I'd like perthsanta this much but here we are and I love it

The background actors for little scenes like this are always the best bro and their friends teasing them is sooo funny 😂

NOOOO DONT GO TO THE BATHROOM GUN IM NOT READY FOR THE ANGST YET

ITS SO WEIRD SEEING BOOM KISS SOMEONE THAT ISNT AOU BUT I FEEL SO BAD FOR GUN NOOO😭

IT WAS JUST A TEST OF HIS FEELINGS BUT I HATE THAT GUN HAD TO SEE THAT HES GONNA BE SO UPSET WITH HIM AGAIN, IF THEY DONT RESOLVE IT THIS EP IM GONNA SCREAM

another side note tho, boom is still so hot tho like he's one of mine like forever 😍

NOOO THE MATCHING TATTOOS WHY IS THE ANGST GETTING WORSE😭

OH HERE WE GO HERE COMES KLAO LOOKING PISSED AGAIN OH SHIT

3 AGAINST 1 WTF AND KLAO COMING TO HELP HIS 'FRIEND' HELL YEAH BUT ALSO WHY IS AOU ALWAYS GETTING INTO FIGHTS EVERY ROLE HE HAS LIKE IM HERE FOR IT BUT DAMN AND ALSO YOTHA LITERALLY BLEEDING FROM HIS HEAD BUT STILL ASKING IF GUN IS OKAY? MY FUCKING HEART😭 THEY BETTER CLEAR SHIT UP SOON I CANT TAKE IT

I get why yotha was doing what he did but he doesn't just have himself to think about now and he's gotta think about what he wants and what he wants is gun and he fucked up🥺

I know they don't have the best relationship in this series but i love them so much together I'll take any fluffy crumbs I can get 😭 GIVE THEM THEIR OWN SERIES PLSSS BUT ONE LIKE WE ARE I CANT TAKE ANYMORE ANGST FROM THEM RN😭

YOTHA BETTER THIS RN I CANT STAND SEEING GUN CRY HES MY SUNSHINE GMM BOY GIVE HIM BACK DAMNIT

Arm is such a good friend🥺

STOPPP IT IM GONNA CRY WITH HIM GET THIS ANGST AWAY FROM ME SOON PLSS I NEED GUN TO SMILE AGAIN😭

I can't wait til yothagun get to arcarms level

AND JUST LIKE THAT HE WENT TO CLIMB INTO BED WITH HIM WHY DO THEY GOTTA BE SO CUTE IM GONNA THROW UP RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE I SWEAR

"I want gun back." YEAH YOU DI BUDDY, BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS A BIT LETS GOO, ARM WILL HELP YOU AND ITLL BE RIDICULOUS PROBABLY BUT YOU GOT THIS

Gay people man...that's all I gotta say about arm in this scene 😂

That was one of the gayest set ups ever😅(also if we don't say Taylor again I'm gonna scream, I love him🫡)

Arm matches all of his friends freak and im sooo here for it like give me book and literally anyone and he'll nail it 😂

okay I lovee the kisses don't get me wrong like I feel like they've had more than arc and arm atp and they're not even dating yet but pls HAVE A CONVERSATION IT WILL FIX ALL OF THIS AHH GET IT TOGETHER(and yes i know from the outside it's easier to yell at them and they're young but they were doing alright with it before gun saw yotha kissing someone else but he's just shut down now☹️)

"DO YOU WANNA WALK WITH ME?" I SQUEALED LIKE WHAT BUT THEN THE PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK AND THE "WILL YOU WAIT FOR ME?" LIKE I KNOW THEY END UP TOGETHER AND HES GOT SOME TRAUMA STILL BUT FUCK BRO HES THE "SUNSHINE OF THIS WORLD" AND HE LOVES YOU, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR

ENDING NOTE: I CANT WAIT FOR FAIFA TO GET HIS HAPPY ENDING TOO BUT IM NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOTHAGUN YET, THEY BECAME MY FAVORITE SO QUICKLY AND I REALLY HOPE PERTHSANTA GET ANOTHER SERIES SOON CAUSE THEIR CHEMISTRY IS AMAZING

Side note to the end note: if Newton and po don't end up together I'm gonna be so sad like heart killers is starting something for them and I see it👀

[smallestdogswilldie]

ok you know what makes me sad. as like a former self proclaimed misandrist man hater that would cry and scream about how much it sucks to live in a mans world etc etc etc put estrogen in the water fountains (was never a terf. yall can still die)

for anyone who is still… like that… how can you live in that hatred and misery every day. are women paid less yes are we denied reporductive care by old fart men who are going senile and some by some middle aged women yes. are men statistically like responsible for almost all violent crime and child crimes yes. the more you focus on this shit JUST TO GET MAD ? No ACTION? your fucking soul will get torn apart. genuienly whats the fucking point of just sitting in a circle and hating men. its such a stupid fucking “personality trait” to GENUINELY hate all men sorry babe but you are self harming your soul is shriveling. im sorry please cope. i dated a “””bi””” man because i “hated straight men” for 2 1/2 years…

tldr i hated “masculine” men so much i ended up in a loveless touch deprived relationship with a man who wouldnt touch me because he was actually gay (didnt feel the need to tell me this for 2 1/2 years..) nothing wrong with that but you see where my hatred of MASCULINITY landed me. in a relationship that was about to kill me from stress trying to figure out why i was untouchable because i chose the most feminine man in the midwest to date. hitting myself with sticks in the forest hoping someone would come kill me all because i refused to date a straight man. SWORE never to date a straight man. then i fucking did and hes normal. are they all? not at all. maybe i got lucky but im sorry. girls who are attracted to men but hate them genuinely just are in a cycle of not knowing how to pick them or of unresolved trauma. its on you to fix that. are they going to say sorry? no 😂 so YOU fix it because we all have to.

are the majority of straight cis men uneducated, rude, bigoted and kind of stupid? yes! literally yes. if you feel some type of way or anger towards men because of trauma i ABSOLUTELY understand. but we still gonna need a therapist tho girl. i cant even feel bad if you don’t address your issues and spew hatred at half the population for no other reason than to hear your own voice, and making no effort to heal yourself.

i like to believe, ground breaking statement here, that some straight men are actually great fucking people with manners and decorum and emotional intelligence. do you have to risk it to find them? yes. is it worth it? yeah. 1000000x over. there is beauty in TRUSTING SOMEONE. if they hurt you? ok ouch! do whatever has to be done to keep loving. you cannot shut yourself behind reinforced fucking bars because 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 men hurt you. easier said than done yes esp if you have trauma. do you have no desire to HEAL????? and become full of love again???? stop w the bullshit. like actually its tired childish and im going to say it its pessimistic, annoying and posionous. keep that shit to yourself until you resolve that shit. or dont and shut the fuck up!!!

some of us are trying to keep faith which you clearly have lost. and its a sick, stinky attitude to have. keep it to yourself because it makes anyone with a healthy relationship and attraction to men feel like a wet blanket. like sorry that happened to you and you havnt put any effort into healing and that you are seething with hate. its not my problem. survive like the rest of us and for your heart health, literally get help before you have a heart attack or get ulcers.

[stick-ball]

I WAS LOOKING FOR A JEREMY BPD/ANGER ISSUES POST I THOUGJT I HAD SEEN THIS MORNING PLEASE WRITE YOUR HEADCANNONS AGAIN I BEG OF YOU GIVE JEREMY KNOX THE LOVE HE DESERVES

Okay so this is long overdue, but might as well. I guess this is an observation of fandom Jeremy as much as the canon one, so don't come at me.

I dunno read Jeremy as having BPD bcs... bcs honestly have you ever met anyone who has Sunshine shining from their ass? Me neither. Though I have met ppl with severe personality issues who had a coping mechanism like that, of course they weren't young and talented sportsmen looked up to by many ppl and rooted for by many, so they had enough free space and privacy to go absolutely fucked up at other ppl when they were having bad brain hours.

Yes im including myself here.

The name of the game is If I Give Them No Reason to Leave Me They Won't.

Or If I Give Them No Things To Hate Me For They Won't Hurt me.

But spice it up with black and white thinking, paranoia and unhelathy behaviours jumping off the standard spectrum of bottling things out into like, going on a 4 hour run to cool off bcs you are undeserving bcs you are a bad captain bcs you're annoyed at the freshmen bcs they dont care about your shared goals enough and is thay really a them issue? Or is it actually a You issue? Are you blaming others for your own failures again? Look at yourself, you're fucking pathetic, and egoistic at that, you demand things from others but how do you show you care for what others need huh? You think you're a good captain? Keep telling yourself that, before you know it they will all turn against you. Because you're a failure, bcs you cant even make them care? Maybe you're just not a good enough player , or maybe they can see straight through you, see what you are udnerneath the happy exterior. Yo have just not good enough, not trying hard enough, and you want them to look up to.. to That???

Or maybe it is a them issue bcs fuck that, fuck the smiling, fuck the caring, you don't actually care, if they don't care, why would you? 🤔 you don't owe anyone anything you are so done with everyone and everything cant they LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE, HAVENT YOU DONE ENOUGH TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE SMALL THING GO RIGHT ONCE? YOU ARE SO FUCKKNG ANGRY so you have to do something you feel like smashing something, you could, your body is literally a machine, you could show them what you actually think about their Opinions, how pathetic and annoying they are and actually fuck that you have to leave you cant stand being in the same room as them for one second longer.

But the sunshine Jeremy 🌞 exterior slips on so even though you want to crash the doors closed you smile and wave and say something stupid and cheery you even have a fucking spring in your step.

Bcs you're a fucking liar a fucking impostor you can't help it at this point you are a clay figurine that's hollowed out inside.

You are so tired it's like there's a lump of cloth absolutely soaked weighting on your lungs

You actually feel like crying while you wave at alvarez from the stretch of the corridor, making goddamn plans to meet up for group studying maths later in the evening while your lungs constrict holding down a sob.

You hate them all for the next 3 hours.

And then on hour four while you're circling the campus heading back from your walk/jog/run/staring into the distance/jog again you tap into the very comfortable very familiar hating of yourself.

This is a light version of course but I bet Jeremy is that person that dissapears sometimes like at parties ect bcs they are doing some absolutely stupid shit like having sex with a complete stranger or getting drunk but they know enough about the emptiness and self hatred they will feel ten minutes after they succumb to thay behaviour that they learned to do it when the judgment of the ppl who know them won't touch this piece of him. Bcs it feels like a separate piece.

Like he is parcelled into different breeds of fucked up inside and they are all set on a loop in a music playing machine from a highway diner. One song ends another starts you can choose which one if you throw in a dime.

And also we gotta add in the sensory issues, he sees things, he hears them, sometimes he does a dodge while there's nothing coming bcs he thought it was. Some weeks it feels almost he lives from one training to the next bcs he doesn't remember a minute from what's in between. Good thing he taught himself this sunny persona bcs its an autopilot mode that gets him having to answer the least amount of questions when he doesn't fucking remember what happened from 8 am till late afternoon that day.

[gracetoldmeto]

really long rant: why am i so scared of everything?

note: the rest of this post was a draft i made a few days ago, and was going to let rot forever, but today has messed me up so much i just said *why not* and posted bc idk... why not...

im not like 'BOO!!! jumpscare' scared just like... there are so many things in life that could go wrong that are entirely out of your control and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, because shit happens and sometimes that shit is BAD and permanently fucks you over for life and thats just the way it is bc fate is a game of chance (this is my dramatic ass way of saying 'a forever change') but everyone says "oh if you cant control it then why worry?"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?

NO. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS I DO WORRY.

I could die tomorrow. I could get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow. Someone (else) I love could die (again) tomorrow. Maybe my house could burn down tomorrow. Maybe in some freak accident everything I've ever known is taken from me... somehow?

can i control any of this? no.

so what do i do about it??? anything i can to minimize the fallout just in case...

bc isnt that just called RESPONSIBILITY???

ie: house fire? -> ok. insurance.

medical? -> insurance.

death? (that isnt mine) -> stable income

(note #1: this is about the point in my writing of this post where i dont even have the motivation to finish it bc i just wanna sit down and cry... but i might as well)

so OKAY, guess what? i did something about all those possibilities, so my anxiety should be relieved, right? fear gone! all okay now!

WRONG!

all that structure ive created bc its the "rEsPoNsiBLe" way to live, is a slow painful depressing death of my mental health at the hands of my job

yes, id rather gain an inch than lose a mile, small sufferings over large,

but oh my god is that all life is? small sufferings???

if i keep only suffering one inch at a time im going to end up killing myself and i dont quite think anyone truly GETS that except my therapist

this isnt like high school where i knew jack shit about mental health, i know what help is out there, whether or not it works is a totally different story

(note #2: i have looked at my options, ive read the rules, and id actually rather take my metaphorical little plastic car you get at the start of The Game of LIFE boardgame and throw it out a fucking window)

im past the point of easy help and unfortunately the conclusion i keep coming back to is a quote from a fic i wrote last year...

whatever THIS life is, regardless of how much i worked my ASS off for it, i dont want it anymore

(note #3: i dont even think id be in this spot if i didnt have shit luck)

i am equally fucked by either...

1) being responsible, financially safe, insured, but sad af at my job and actively praying something kills me in my sleep

OR

2) quitting my job with no plan and being scared that fate is gonna fuck me over for the upteenth time and this time i wont be able to bounce back or (lets be real) even have a want to (but thats a discussion for another time)

this is no way to fucking live, yet here i am

why am i scared of everything? well, yes i know WHY (bc from personal experience i know what can go wrong)

why am i scared of everything? because you cant be scared of something if you dont know it exists BUT in order to be prepared and responsible it means you have to acknowledge that YES IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU

so how the hell am i supposed to be responsible when i hate what comes with it???

"hey alex, what do you wanna be when you grow up? (1) sad or (2) scared?"

actually neither, id rather simply not exist

why am i scared of everything? because how else am i supposed to act?

why am i scared of everything? because actually, there is no answer to this... there is no reason... its just another shit thing in life that iunno how to deal with

why am i scared of everything? because the universe said so and so thats how it is

and i fucking hate it

.

...ok thats all im gonna go make a quesadilla now

[stgosupremacy]

Hi! I just wanna say I love ur blog! I like how you see and talk abt Goh's character ❤️

I know some people (mostly those toxic pokemon fans) REALLY don't like Goh, and it upsets me bc it feels like me and them watched a completely different character on screen.

What do you think about it? I just don't get how they can hate him!

omg hey fellow goh lover!!!!!! 🥰 i also just wanna say thank you for the lovelyyyy message because i ask the same question daily honestly

(sorry i had to use that the animation is too slick)

ANYWAY

it actually upsets me a lot too that people don't see the good in Goh! im glad you think the same <3

okay there's some instances (yes im saying this 💀) where even i think goh went a bit too far like even though i think it's sick he caught suicune i do get why people were so mad about it? but cmon that was a bit too much hate 😭

Ash hadn't caught any legendaries his entire journey so yeah Goh catching suicune at the early-ish start of his journey was....just a bit like oh ok wow even for me lmao but yk that topic will probably never calm down lets be honest

Then there's him just catching every pokemon without battling, that I also get why ppl are mad because I was rewatching the unova anime a few days ago and a lot of the episodes had an emphasis onbattling before catching, and you can say that goes for the rest of the pokemon anime after that too...up until journeys 😂

Goh is a bit of a rulebreaker in that instance, i get that, but if people hate him taking so much screentime for Ash

(heads up the episode where goh goes on vacation and meets tokio again is the 1st episode in the anime history without any scene of Ash in it at ALL which is pretty crazy)

then I'm sure we wouldn't want to see Goh battle e v e r y single pokemon he catches, like his goal is literally to catchem all as well BUT BUT THEN AGAIN, that arguement is pretty weak i guess, and i understand why people would be mad, but I really dont like when they genuinely just hate him excessively 😭😭

OKAY POSITIVES NOW THIS IS WHAT I THINK

His character development was really nice in my opinion, and I really like how he more often emphasised the fact the reason why he wanted to catch throughout the series, and he reeaaaally understood pokemon better and forged such nice relationships with all of them

(also i was a bit sad Ash didnt get any galar starters too but....im sorry i feel like they're too perfect with Goh im proud of him)

🥺💖

he's really adorable goofy sweet amazing incredible gay and literally the entire package there are those minute things about the pokemon catching yadayada but that basically is forgotten when i watch him on screen

gonna reinforce my point about how he is perfect with the Galar starters...im sorry but look at them.

(you cannot talk to me about the drizzle episodes I will literally start crying. Also the grookey errand episode and that hug. Omfg)

You can see how much he cares for his pokemon (all the hugs above omg stop 😔💖) and I wish other people would also see that 😭 😭

He's so sweet and kind now especially at the end when Ash finally managed to help open his heart to other people and also Ash himself 😛 😛 OK I told myself I wouldn't bring satogou into Goh's honour post but they're another reason I love Goh so much, they compliment each other so well and I couldn't think of anyone else more perfect for Ash I love them both 💗🥺 (... In case you hadn't noticed)

Then again, it's still opinion based ig, not gonna fight about it 💀

Sorry this was such a long response (but cmon what were yall expecting..) but I kind of felt like I was gonna do a post like this sometime soon so thank you for anyone who voluntarily read this long-ass rant about Goh and @louie-inc for asking the question too!! 💕 💯 💕 💯

[rosewoodconch]

RWCH Readathon: Day 23

Princess in Practice - Chapter 16

ELLIE POV ELLIE POV ELLIE POV

The audiobook has a new va for Ellie like with the boys!

Very excited

I ADORE ADORE ADORE THIS DESCRIPTION OF CONCH HOUSE

Also omg how could i forget Saxons name im disappointed in myself help

I dont love that conch is portrayed as the super rich designer fashion forward expensive taste house

Also the fact that the gym is in conch is a lil strange, why wouldnt it be with the rest of the normal school buildings

Like yes dame bolter is head of the lancers and sport stuff

But what is a new house head got appointed? Then what

I love ellies banter with the other lancers it makes her feel more realistic outside of her relationships to lottie and jamie

I miss jacob. He was funny

I like seeing the similarities between ani and ellie as they try to help each other without actually talking

Its miscommunication but with a net positive

Them having a fight while fencing is so very Rory / Paris in their chilton era in gilmore girls

Ani snapping and having hinestly a mild anxiety attack about actually not hating saskia is just

Connie is insane for putting this as eloquently as she did. Because yeah. When you break up with someone but you have to see them again, what if you dont hate them?

I get it ani

Though my exs arent nearly as bad as 'kidnapped our friend for a criminal organisation'

IMAGINE IF IT WERE LOTTIE

Shes insane for that pop off ani

I have this whole end bit highlighted in red for favourite moments

YOU AND SASKIA ARE SO SIMILAR SOMETIMES

Okay 1. I need all of ani and saskias backstory immediately 2. Ellie not wanting to hurt lottie like that then hurting her worse is kinda funny rip them

I could go on forever about this scene but i wanna keep it short so if anyone wants to hear my rambles please rb and ask for more so i know lol

For now tho

I love that this is ellie realising for the forst time really how much she really does like lottie

And how once she notices her own feelings she suddenly is able to appreciate anis situation more, all of her actions.

If it were for lottie, ellie would do the same, shed do anything

Ani and ellie are both the masters of saskia and lottie technically, but their relationships are so much deeper than that

Because of that, ellie and eni can relate to each other so much more than almost anyone else

Also

Theyre down bad crying at the gym

[sphinx-myth]

this past week i came to the realisation that mum doesnt love me. is that my fault? yes, ive talked shit about her despite the fact thats how i feel and how she actually acts. but she doeasnt treat me like she does my brother who treats her horribly, she ridicules me for my friends because theyre like me or they friends with me so if theyre straight and cis then no theyre not because their my friends.

any award i get given she just goes okay. doesnt look at it or anything. doesnt tell anyone. i feel like shit every award assembly because its not good enough i broke the school record or won in the sports event. she doesnt even know that i hate sports now. i used to love running and active sports, i often won. she never cared. the one time she did was in primary when the 3 of us won at sports day and we got icecream. so what if it was just me who won? we wouldnt have gone out still.

she and dad are threatening to throw my binder and my veils into a fire because im a girl and meant to be. they bought me £100 worth of clothes that i thought looked nice but i tried one on and it stressed me out and didnt suit me and made me fel like shit so i changed. then mum had a go at me after school.

"after i told everyone how nice u look for once" "now you going to cry" she does it all the time, thinking im gonna cry as she leaves me in the car so she can go talk to her therapist or whatever. that its a privalege for compliments and that im only looking decent when i wear what she wants and that everyone agrees with her. and i know they do.

i just want to be me and happy but she does all this shit and i know im the bad one for hating her sometimes and talking shit but i have never had the sense of privacy where i can let my thoughts out so what do u expect from me. i refuse to cry cus then id be proving her point and being like a girl.

according to her everything about me is shit. my looks, personality, music. anything about me is ugly. why was i the only one named after a corn star. why was i dropped down the stairs cus they were too busy arguing. why did i have to play therapist my whole life in all their arguments. ive had fucking flashbacks for some of them, not that it matters because im always faking everything according to her. if i genuinely have a concern about my own health it gets fucking ignored because i grew up online and loving psycology which she says i dont like it, its just my excuse to help me act like theres something wrong with me. im so done with this bullshit but im the bad person because shes not done much since

[s0lk]

venting n shit because im in a weird state of mind and its the middle of the night so i cant talk to anyone. lots of talking about being a panicky little bitch mostly

this is not gonna be one of those poetic rants about some deep traumatic shit just to get that out the way. don’t expect it to make any sense it’s just a bunch of thoughts.

i don’t think im capable of being a good partner. not an ACTUALLY good partner. i guess im good at doing stuff and i do like being loved but the thing is at any moment i can detach and feel absolutely nothing. like im not even in there. any enjoyment goes right out the fucking window and all i have is this weird dull feeling. which really sucks when im in a relationship i actually really enjoy. also i dont think im very good at like being there for him any more. or anyone really. ive always been really proud of being a therapist for the people im close to but all of a sudden i dont know how to handle any of it and all i can do is go ‘:(((( im gonna hug you’. which is so fucking stupid. i want to help people not whatever that bullshit is. im terrified that if i cant be the perfect source of advice and comfort for everyone ever then something awful will happen and it will all be my fault because i couldnt help them properly. i need everyone to need me but now i feel like im useless because i cant fix every problem they have. and i cant even go to anyone about my own problems because they all feel so dumb in comparison. like who am i to stay up crying all night and panicking over nothing??? i havent had half the shit happen to me that the people i know have. i shouldnt be so upset. and it doesnt help to be told that the bad stuff i HAVE been around to experience is ‘just poland stuff’. you know who you are. yes im telling you i don’t like that through tumblr rather than confronting you directly. sue me im a coward. just because your family is shitty too doesnt mean my mother being fucking PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE doesnt matter. anyway. i just need someone who i can talk at who just like. listens. yknow? i just want to cry in someones arms. except i cant DO THAT because apparently crying is too ‘inconvenient’ and i think id kill myself if i was that much of an inconvenience to someone. which is ironic because i make it pretty clear that venting to me is not a burden in any way. and it genuinely isnt but like. having shit dumped on me with no warning or confirmation first isnt fun. ill never say no to someone wanting to vent but when im just trying to have a silly time listening to music or whatever and suddenly im flooded with a bunch of sad stuff its uh. startling to say the least. plus when its so out of the blue i cant always tell if its just a random complaint or a serious issue so sometimes i dont respond right and that pretty much always leads to a panic attack because what if the other person decides that makes me an insensitive asshole and stops wanting to be around me? thanks autism and not being able to read people and making me believe that if im not perfect im the nastiest little critter to exist ever. really really great.

[devildom-moss]

It may be a bit selfish of an ask.. but could you do some simeon dad content with the BOF!MC? (Fluff or angst, you choose!)

I dont care how you portray the MC, as i never actually set a personality for them, but I understand completely if you dont want to write such a story <33

Anyways, as always, remember to eat, sleep, and dont do drugs!

Sincerely, 💜

I hope you will enjoy this one 💜 anon. If anyone isn't familiar with 💜 anon's BoF!MC or their AU, you can read a bit more about it under this tag. (hopefully I got it all since I went back and added the tag)

If you just want enough context to read the story, in this AU, Simeon had a half-human, half-angel child in a similar way to how Satan was created. The child will be referred to MC in this, but it's not the normal/original MC (reader) I use. So it's not the standard x reader fic. It's basically just Simeon dad content. Also, the child has strong, persistent pain that they've adapted to over years. The child is around pre-teen years.

A Little Simeon Dad Story

(BoF AU) (some angst) (but some softness) (mentions of physical harm and bullying)

Word Count: +2,400

“I’m home,” MC announced – restrained and hoping that Simeon wouldn’t notice them coming through the front door. They tried to sneak off to their room as quietly as possible.

“Welcome back, sweetie. How was school?” Simeon hollered from the kitchen as he stirred the pot. He had a homemade loaf of bread baking in the oven; something had to distract him from the fact that his child insisted upon walking home on their own for the first time, and breadmaking was – at least – time consuming.

Yes, his child was probably old enough to walk home alone; they were the equivalent of Luke’s age when he first started going around the Devildom on his own. However, Simeon had grown into an overprotective father, and ever since his sweet baby began their education, he would walk them to and from school every day – if he couldn’t walk them, there were a handful of powerful members of their adoptive family that would. Although, the one time that Diavolo walked them to school, MC was embarrassed to be dropped off by the King. They didn’t hear the end of it for weeks. Simeon wanted to know that his child was safe and protected, but he also understood that his baby had to grow up at some point; it would only stunt their growth if he refused their request to walk back from school on their own today. Besides, if MC needed help, they had their D.D.D. with them; and they had taken to technology much quicker than Simeon ever could. After a month with it, they were already able to start teaching him about new features. Ah, youth. Simeon smiled to himself.

“How was walking home alone?” Simeon asked another question, trying to prompt his child to join him in the kitchen and talk about their day.

In truth, Simeon had been watching the clock carefully, calculating a reasonable time frame for his child to return, justifying every second past the earliest possible minute. Did they stay a little later to talk with a friend? Did they have to talk to a teacher after class? Do they walk slower when they aren’t trying to keep up with me? Maybe they feel sore? Or maybe they’re leisurely enjoying the scenery? Did they stop somewhere? No – they would have told me, right? What if they got lost? What if – Simeon had to silence those thoughts. When the door opened, and his sweet baby’s voice rang out, he was awash with relief.

“It was fine, but I’m pretty tired. I was thinking about taking a shower and going to bed. I’ll do homework tomorrow.” They tried to cover the strain in their voice that came from an added layer of pain today. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

That struck Simeon as odd, and MC needed to eat something after getting back. He turned the stove temperature down and peeked his head out into the living room to find his child slinking towards their room. “You have to eat, MC – even if it’s just a few bites. Dinner will be ready soon. It’s one of your favorites. If you want to shower before eating, that’s fine.”

“Alright, dad,” they paused, angling themselves away from Simeon, before adding, “thanks.”

“Is something wrong, sweetie?”

“Nope. All good.”

“You are awful at lying to your father,” Simeon sighed. It was a relief that they hadn’t learned how to lie well yet. “Can you look at me?”

MC turned around to reveal a bruised and scratched up cheek – evidence of being punched by someone wearing rings, and probably gaudy and cheap decorative ones at that.  The front of their pants was slightly dirty, as if MC had made an attempt to brush them clean only to stop when they realized it stung the scrapes on the palms of their hands and smeared specks of blood over the dirty surface.

Simeon’s jaw dropped, horrified. He rushed to their side, resisting the urge to pat them and check for other injuries. “What happened to you?!”

“It’s fine. Nothing happened,” they shrugged – although the motion hurt. “I just want to get cleaned up.”

Simeon took a deep breath in to calm himself. “I understand that, but we need to talk about this. You’re all scratched up and bruised. I’m worried.”

“I’m fine. Can it wait until after I’m clean?” There was a bite to their words.

“Okay,” Simeon conceded. “Do you need me to help disinfect anything?”

“I can do it.”

“Okay. Alright.” Simeon bit back his pain and concern. “I’ll finish dinner. Come to the couch in the living room when you’re done.”

“Fine.”

“I love you, okay?”

“I love you, too.”

Simeon rushed to finish dinner, trying not to accidentally stir his rage into the stew as it bubbled up. He pulled out the bread to let it cool. Why did I let them walk alone?! I should have protected them.

When MC left the bathroom, everything ached more than usual and their upper arm felt stiff where they had been punched – and after they fell to the ground, kicked. If the witch from the Demonus shop that Simeon never let MC go into hadn’t come out of her store to chase away those demons, it would have been worse. Thinking back, MC was embarrassed that they got up and ran away without even bothering to thank her. She had even bent down to ask if they were okay and if she should call someone for them.

Simeon was waiting on the couch for them. He was unusually scrunched up, bending forward and holding himself while tapping at the side of his thigh with one hand. The rhythmic sensation soothed him slightly, but he couldn’t get the thought out of his head: someone had beaten his baby – and it could have been much worse. His eyes were trained on the floor.

“. . .dad?” MC mumbled awkwardly. They hadn’t seen him this distressed in years.

“Oh, sorry sweetie.” Simeon jolted up and scooted over more. He pat the spot next to him, which MC took. They stared at him, waiting for him – as the parent – to breach the topic. Simeon nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know where to start. How bad is the pain? What happened? Who – I know this wasn’t an accident, so who did it?”

Although Simeon had intended to smother his wrath before MC returned, it came back just under the surface when he imagined someone daring to attack his baby. MC wasn’t meant to know how mad he was, but they could tell, so they told him a redacted version of the truth: a couple of demons from school had ganged up on them on their way back home. The demons had seen MC leave by themselves, and they waited until they were far enough from the school campus to attack. The specifics of the attack were left out, and no names were given. As much as Simeon wanted to know, he recognized that he had a desire for revenge more than justice. It was for the best that MC kept their identities a secret. MC explained that they ran home as quickly as they could after the shop owner rescued them, and that they waited outside for a few minutes until their breath calmed down. Simeon would never admit it, but he was a bit impressed that they had the forethought to wait outside for a while.

“. . .that’s about it,” MC added, hoping they were done with the awful ordeal of recounting the attack.

“I need to know where you got hit.”

“Nowhere bad. No head, neck, throat, spine, or chest hits,” they added, counting each one off on their fingers. “It’s not my first attack.”

At that solemn reminder, Simeon swallowed hard, gulping down his guilt; it wasn’t useful to him now. “I know, and I trust you, but I’m going to call the physician Barbatos and Diavolo found for you later. I’d feel better if we got you checked up.”

“I don’t want–” they started.

“I wasn’t asking,” Simeon interrupted. “I need you to do this for me. If you don’t like the doctor, we’ll get you another one.”

“She’s fine, but I really don’t need to go. I’ll be okay.”

“That’s good. Then your doctor will confirm that with us after your appointment.”

“Can it at least wait until tomorrow morning?” They sighed. It had already been such a long day, and they were certain they were going to be fine. If they needed a check-up to appease their father, they would get it, but right now, they just wanted to rest.

“Promise you’ll be okay.” Simeon held out his little finger. He hadn’t made MC pinky promise in years. If not for the seriousness on their father’s face, MC would have thought Simeon was just being an embarrassing, goofy dad again. They nodded and hooked their finger with his. Simeon gave them a soft smile. “Okay. We can wait, but if you feel worse at any point in the night, tell me right away – even if you think it’s nothing, understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Thank you, sweetie.” Simeon finally let go of his child’s pinky. “Can I ask you something else?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you want to walk home alone today?”

“It’s stupid.”

“That’s okay,” Simeon smiled, “even if you think it’s stupid, I want to know.”

“I wanted to walk home with Sylvia,” MC admitted. “She’s an incubus – or maybe it’s a succubus now? I don’t know – her mom’s a succubus. She’s really nice to me, and I want to be friends with her. We walk the same way home sometimes, so I thought – I don’t know. But she didn’t show up today, so I just walked alone.”

“So, you didn’t actually want to walk home alone?” Simeon was almost pleased to know that someone was nice to his baby. “Why didn’t you call someone to walk you home?”

“I didn’t want to bother or disappoint you.”

“Why would I be disappointed, sweetheart?”

“Because I was the one who asked if I could walk home alone.”

“You’re allowed to change your mind.” Simeon shook his head in exasperation. “Why didn’t you call someone else?”

“Barbatos is always busy, Satan has book club with Solomon and (original) MC on Friday afternoons, everyone fauns over Luke and Diavolo when they pick me up, and the last time uncle Raph walked me home, he caused 80 thousand grimm worth of damage because a demon said I smelled like a mutt. So, I just walked alone.”

“Why do you know so much about the adults in your life?” Simeon slapped his hand to his own forehead with a sigh. “Sweetie, can I have a hug?”

MC shrugged. “Okay.”

“My sweet baby.” Simeon wrapped MC in his gentle embrace. He was warm enough that the pain began to fade slightly – or maybe it wasn’t the warmth. Maybe their dad just had magical, healing hugs. Simeon rubbed their back softly, careful not to add too much pressure. “It wouldn’t have been a bother. I’m always happy to walk you home. I’m so sorry that you got hurt because you didn’t want to ask for help. I’m your dad. I’ll show up when I know you need me.”

Simeon pulled back and put his hands on MC’s arms, holding them affectionately. The swelling on their arm was evident under his hand, and Simeon felt his heart break. He couldn’t even see the bruise, but he knew it was bad.

“Wait here for one second, okay?” Simeon signaled for MC to stay put while he hurried to the medicine cabinet. He returned with a large glass jar containing an ominous-looking blue substance.

“What is that?”

“Solomon concocted a soothing lotion for you to help with some of your pain. It’s supposed to be pretty strong. He brought it by – probably on his way to this mysterious book club I’ve never heard about before. You should try some on the bruises. It might help.” Simeon sat down and set the jar between them. “Do you want me to put it on your arm for you?”

Normally, MC would have insisted that they could do it themselves, but after the day they had, they wanted a bit of attention and care. They nodded.

“Roll up your sleep for me, then.”

Simeon tried not to react to the massive bruises on his child’s arm. They were already turning dark shades of purple and brown. It looked painful, and there were multiple hard lumps under the darkest parts. Simeon gently applied the lotion, feeling his own hand start to tingle from the lotion’s numbing properties. He hoped it would be enough to help his poor baby. When he was done, Simeon rolled their sleeve back down – happy to not have to face physical evidence of his child’s pain anymore. “How does it feel?”

“It’s the strongest sh– stuff he’s ever made,” MC quickly corrected their desire to curse, shocked by the degree of pain relief Solomon’s concoction had given them. “It feels a little better.”

“Good. I’ll pass that onto Solomon. I’ll let you keep this, but if you want help putting it on, just ask.” Simeon smiled softly as he tightened the lid on the jar. He stood up. “How about we put on one of your comfort shows or a movie you like, and we can eat dinner in here while we watch it? Does that sound good?”

“For real?” MC perked up, which warmed Simeon’s heart.

“Yes, and maybe you can tell me about that girl you want to befriend. Is it the one with the single mom? I think I know her.”

“Yeah. But why do you know a succubus, dad?” MC smirked. “That’s sus. Should I tell Barbatos?”

“What? Why? I know most of the parents! I go to PTA meetings – whether they like it or not,” Simeon’s embarrassment gave way to bitterness as he grumbled the last part, mostly to himself. Some of the demon parents weren’t keen on him or his child being involved with the school. Still, if it was the succubus he was thinking about – the nice single mom who had actually been friendly to him during the first meeting, then Simeon was happy at the prospect of her daughter befriending his kid. Simeon added on, “And stop learning slang from your classmates. I don’t understand it.”

“I’m sorry.” MC didn’t mean it – not about the slang, anyway.

“It’s okay, sweetie. I love you.”

“I love you, too, dad. Now, can we please eat? Dinner smells so good, and I’m so hungry that I finally understand uncle Beel.”

“Okay, okay, my growing child,” Simeon laughed, “just don’t eat the plate like your uncle.”

A/N: Hopefully I did okay with writing a child character. I don't have a lot of experience there. I know this one is different, but hopefully y'all enjoy it - and if no one else, than that at least 💜 anon enjoys it. I hope you don't mind that I added some OC content in here. I wanted the MC to have a friend their age. Simeon also deserves a "technically single" parent friend. And what's more fun than a former angel being friends with a succubus?

[star-girl-is-thinking]

A/N: before we start idk if anyone is gonna read this but I just want to say a few things

English is def not my first language as you could probably tell

I wrote this …short story? Scenario? Or whatever it is at 2am so ahahahahaahhaha

The names are like this for artistic purposes and totally not bc I was lazy

(The main character is * and her friends ; and ~ and her love interest \)

It’s my first time uploading so idk what to do um help??

If enough ppl read this and enjoy it I could maybe expand and eventually polish the story? Idk time will tell

I hope at least one person reads this and likes it

ENJOYYY <3

———

“I swear to god the food here is radioactive. This cannot be normal.” ~ said while poking around at the ‘food’ on her plate.

“It’s… something at least. Just close your eyes and pretend you’re eating at a restaurant . It works for me.” Shrugged ; even though she didn’t look like she was enjoying it any better.

“I think I might try starving myself actually.” * exclaimed, looking at her lunch with dead eyes.

The small (but extremely close) group laughed a bit. It was either laughing at the situation or crying and nobody wanted to cry in the cafeteria. Just as ~ was about to take one for the team and try the mystery meat,

“God I can’t watch you risk your life like this. I’m gonna go and think about my life in the toilets.” * stood up suddenly and joked a bit (it might not be a joke anymore). “I’m gonna join you guys before class.” the girl reassured the others before they protested.

“Fineee, just try not to be late ahem again ahem. You know how the history teacher is. Also be careful in there you never kno-“ ; started rambling.

“I know, mom. Don’t worry if something happens I’ll just curl up in a ball and cry.” * smiled and gathered her things up (which weren’t a lot). The now standing girl left not before waving to the two others.

…

“..did she leave her food on purpose..?”

“Sigh… yes… yes, she did…”

…

———

After I accidentally left, whatever the stuff on my plate was, I walked out of the cafeteria . I didn’t technically lie to my friends about the ‘going to the toilet’ part. I really did go and proceeded to look at my reflection. Thankfully and surprisingly no one was in the girls bathroom.

Bzzzz

My phone lit up, notifying me about a message. I looked and saw that \ texted me.

\ is a guy I met at the beginning of the year. We have some mutual friends and he walked over when I was with them. We introduced each other and hit it off instantly. It was so bizarre, we just kinda clicked. I recently came to terms with the fact that I miiighhhttt have a little crush on him but it’s nothing serious. How can I not find him apealling? I don’t have a type but if I did he would check all the marks. Usually my standards are low but he made them sky high. He’s always nice to me and at the same time we could tease each other for hours. He’s such a good listener. We’re kinda like the ‘yapper x listener’ duo. Of course I listen to him as well but most of the time it’s me talking (not that I mind). I also can’t deny that I’ve kinda listened to songs while imagining it was about me and hi-

I was cut off by another bzzz from my phone. Realising I’ve been staring at his message like a little maniac, I quickly opened up our chat.

•picture of the mystery lunch with the Rio de Janeiro filter•

This shitz a gamble at this point

Like am I getting chicken or am I gonna go in cardiac arrest the possibilities are endless 🤩🤩

Naahhh das crazyyy 💀

The food today got everybody tweakin and I don’t blame them

I said fuck it and just left

No way I was gonna put that thing near my face when I did my makeup so pretty

WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU LEFT OMFGGGGGGG TRAITORRRRR BURN THE WITCCHH

Also yea ur makeup was very girly pop today (AND EVERY OTHER DAY PLS DONT THROW ME TO THE WOLVES)

Erm okay stalker 🤨

Anywayz I’m in the bathroom rn

We could meet up we still have like 20min left

Say less omw

Wait for me next to the stairs

Be there or be 🟥

Bsffr…

‘He noticed my makeup…’ was the only thought I had in my head when I was leaving the toilets and making my way to the stairs.

———

It’s already been 6 minutes. The walk from the cafeteria to the stairs was 2 minutes if you walk a bit faster (which he always does). We’ve met here a few times and usually it takes him a maximum of 4 minutes but 6? That’s not normal. I know I’m overreacting but I just have a gut feeling. I decided to walk around the hallway in hopes of meeting him halfway.

‘Maybe a teacher just held him up?’ I thought to myself, trying to reason with his absence.

While walking I heard voices. Being the noisy person I am, I decided to take a peek. The noise was coming from a separate hall that connected the two parts of the school. The voices were two… a girl and a boy. A boy… Wait… that’s \! That’s why he was late. Someone pulled him aside to talk. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Suddenly something caught my attention.

“-\… I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks but these few weeks have been the best! I just wanted you to know… I like you! Like a lot!-“

The girl continued to express herself but it all was washed out by that one sentence.

“I like you!”

The weight came back and this time it was suffocating. I don’t know what I was feeling. It wasn’t anger or sadness or even envy. It just… hurts? It hurt the way his name rolled off her tongue, the way she was smiling at him like she already knew the answer to her confession, the way her eyes were filled with what I could only assume as love.

Why was I hurt by this? It’s not like we were together… my crush was ‘nothing serious’. I don’t even know what his response was. My mind just shut out every noise around me. All I could hear was my heartbeat. It’s like I could hear a crack. A crack in the wall I had built myself… or a crack in my heart?

“Ouch”

I whispered underneath my breath. Not really caring if they heard me. I just turned around and walked. It was like I was walking for hours while my thoughts were running wildly. It was almost comical how that one sentence was repeating in my head like a broken record. My feet carried me to class. I sat down in my seat still thinking until ~ and ; sat next to and behind me.

———

“How was your commercial break * ? I bet it was better than being in that stupid, loud hell hole.” ~ whined, pulling her stuff out.

“Turns out the whole school didn’t like whatever that was. There were loads of uneaten plates in the trash…” ; sighed, already having put her books on her desk.

“Oh, yeah… Not surprised, I would’ve done the same.” * replied snapping back to reality.

“Next time throw it out yourse-“ ~ stopped herself when she heard my phone.

Bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz

I looked at the lit up screen already knowing who it was.

“Are you not gonna answer?” Asked ; concerningly.

I thought for a second.

“Nahhh, it’s probably nothing important.” I smiled at my friends while turning my phone screen down.

———

“Byeeeee, we will missss youuuuuu!!!!” ~ over exaggerated.

“We’re going to see each other tomorrow y'know…” ; told the other girl.

I smiled and waved. I get off the bus a few stops before them so these goodbyes were normal.

The walk ,although short, was quiet. Not because the streets were empty, quite the opposite. I was left alone with my thoughts again. I definitely overreacted. In my defence this has never happened to me before. How am I supposed to know how to react? I was just so stunned that my mind was trying to figure out what emotion to connect to that scenario. It just suddenly hit me at that very moment… it wasn’t a ‘nothing serious’ crush. I actually liked him… a lot… more than whoever that was. I’ve never had an actual crush before. I hate how it feels but at the same time I wouldn't trade it for the world…

Now that I’m thinking about the moment, the confession. Something that I didn’t notice was the way his eyebrows were furrowed. Almost as if questioning her. I don’t know what he said because I left but something about the way he was standing and the way he looked at her didn’t look right. His eyes didn’t hold the wrath the girl in front of him was radiating…

I should probably reply to his texts. I can't just avoid him. There’s still a bit of hope left…

———

This school is cray cray

Istg I’m not making this up some girl pulled me aside and said she likes me like woah there miss who tf r u???

Then I remembered IT WAS THE GIRL I WAS TUTORING FOR EXTRA CREDIT insane ik I lowkey don’t even know her name

That’s why I couldn’t meet up today which I’m so v sorry for mlady I won’t let it happen again 🙏🙏🙏

I feel like an obsessive ex atp but like real talk you good?

I really did want to see you but getting confessed to by a girl I barely knew wasn’t on my bingo card for this year so I wasn’t prepared

Were you… there when it happened? I thought I heard footsteps but didn’t think much of it… Was that you??

Wow obsessed much? I didn’t reply for some a few hours and bro went insane…. But for real I’m good and I might have been there

Oops? Hope i didn’t interrupt and I just want to say I’m happy for u!!!!!!

Waitwaitwait happy?? For what??? You didn’t actually think I liked her did you? I barely knew her 💀

And besides I like someone already

I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT?? UR A WILD CARD

…you like someone?

Is there a chance that it’s…

It’s you

Me?