#yes...to both
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teaboot · 3 months ago
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Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.
But her family. Holy shit.
First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever
Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.
And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper
And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.
And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK
And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”
So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE
And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for
And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker
And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”
And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”
And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah
Yeah, I think I kinda get it
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veliseraptor · 2 months ago
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the weird schrödinger's emotion that is "that character death was narratively satisfying and emotionally impactful and ultimately the best way to handle their character arc" simultaneously with "noooo but I wanted them to live :( :( :("
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anthropologist-on-the-loose · 8 months ago
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I'm as grateful for cellphones as the next person, but sometimes I think about how everyone having a phone on them at all times really did cause us to loose some things as a society. I mean - for example, kids these days will never experience their car breaking down and needing to find the nearest place with a phone they can use. They're never going to have the opportunity to tentatively approach a house only to discover that it's full of queer people having a party hosted by a transvestite to celebrate his creation of a sex homunculus, stay the night, and loose their virginity while unintentionally partaking in cannibalism. It's tragic, that kind of gay sexual awakening just doesn't happen these days because of cellphones.
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layaart · 2 months ago
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anticipating an exponential increase in murderbot misgendering so I drew something about it
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galaxylover06 · 6 months ago
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Their name is Barry and they can't escape the digital cir
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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 2 months ago
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hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care
#it should be like. a hernia. or diverticulitis#something intestinal for maximum Awkward Scenario#and the entire car ride alternates between awkward silence and the driver lecturing their nemesis on the importance of regular check-ups#this is funnier if the hero is the one having the hernia tbh. but both options are Very Good#want to emphasize that it is a 'medical emergency ' that is clearly not extreme enough for the emergency room#and the sidekick/henchperson gets stuck in traffic so the hero/villain stays for moral support#they spend 8 hours in the waiting room playing Uno (it devolves into a screaming match)#at the end of the ordeal one of them vows to burn the hospital to the ground with their laser eye powers#and it's Not The One You Think#oh oh oh! ALTERNATIVELY:#it's an allergic reaction; one of them accidentally poisoned the other by using like. soybean derivative in a tranquilizer dart#emphasis on *accidentally*. yes they were technically fighting but That Wasn't Supposed To Happen#so now they're obligated to take responsibility and Stay In The Waiting Room#(can't decide if it's funnier if it's the hero or the villain stuck in this situation)#(probably the villain)#“why didn't you TELL me you were allergic to soybeans???”#“um because you would use it against me in combat?”#“as opposed to NOT telling me! which has worked out fantastic for you!!!”#villain being genuinely offended bc they have a biochemistry degree and have invented literally dozens of untraceable poisons#they have the scientific skill to poison their favorite jackass in hundreds of ways#(and have done so before! in admittedly non-fatal outcomes but that was by design okay)#but it's “dangerous” to do them the simple curtesy of informing them about a SOY ALLERGY????#above all else they consider themself a scientist#and they're LIVID that their favorite (reluctant) test subject lied about their medical history#“technically i didn't LIE--#“I read you the questionnaire! the very first time i held u hostage i READ YOU THE QUESTIONNAIRE!!!”#“...the what now”#“the MEDI--holy shit you weren't even paying attention were you#i had you bound and gagged over an ACTUAL BUBBLING ACID PIT and you couldn't even be bothered to--#“--so i was obviously a bit BUSY at that moment! I'm sorry i ignored your VILLAINOUS MONOLOGUING while the BLOOD WAS RUSHING TO MY HEAD but
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mikehasfleas · 4 months ago
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Most annoying thing to remember is that you're litterally just a homosapien. You're just a very smart animal. If you feel like shit, imagine you're an exotic pet for some alien species and do what they'd do to keep you healthy. You gotta be well cared for. Animal abuse is a crime for a reason
"My pet human, Greg, hasn't left his bed in a long time. He's just scrolling his phone all day" Greg needs enrichment. Add enrichment in his enclosure and take him on walks
"Greg has been super lethargic and sad recently for seemingly no reason" Greg need vitamins, take him outside for some vitamin D and fresh air. Perhaps a picnic
"Greg won't sleep even though he's been super lethargic" Greg needs a schedule, especially for the lights in his enclosure.
"Greg has been super distant recently and keeps crying to sad music" Humans are pack animals, he needs to hug another human and hang out. Perhaps pack bond with a rock together
"Greg has been flailing around and panicking, his breathing is way faster than it should be" Greg is overwhelmed. Take Greg out of the situation and give him time to calm down. Perhaps somewhere cozy with tea and a movie
"Greg won't do what he needs to do" Train him. Humans do great with positive reinforcement, give him little treats when he's doing good
"Greg he's been super anxious and tired, he can't seem to enjoy his days" Humans needs to move around. Give Greg something to exercise with. Things like stretching, weight lifting, walking, or even dancing will help
"Even though I've taken really good care of Greg, he still has been having issues" Greg is ill, take him to the doctor. You might need a specialist (therapist, optometrist, oncologist, etc)
I know it feels patronizing, and I know it feels embarrassing or that you're "just giving into the clichés", but you are literally just a creature. You need to sleep/eat on time, you need enrichment, and you need to take care of your social needs. Humans are complicated animals, but they are also beautiful and all deserve proper care. This obviously isn't a perfect analogy, nothing is, but if you saw your friend taking care of their pet the way you take care of yourself, would you be concerned?
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breezy-cheezy · 2 months ago
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"Still too light..."
Whumpril day 1: Hug (clammy)
(Yes I know it's May but I am just happy to finish this thing I started drawing like a year ago lmaooo)
I love Zeff and Sanji's father son relationship so so much. Zeff's poor Eggplant has gotten sick. Steamed himself instead of the actual food...
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akanemnon · 2 months ago
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It was super effective
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
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zombiedeers · 28 days ago
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How do you look at this guy and decide to make him an outright main villain
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sketchydoof · 3 months ago
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This movie was in my head for a while now
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dcxdpdabbles · 11 days ago
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Barbara: You are not going to believe what I found in Damian's laptop. It's actually a little worrying.
Bruce: Should I be worried as a father or as Batman?
Barbara: *So and so hand motion*
Bruce: *deep breath* What did you find?
Barbara: He has files upon files about a boy named Daniel Fenton. Apparently, he's been following him around for months documenting everything there is about him because, and I quote, "Fenton generates a airborne illness targeting humans. Symptoms include: Quicken heart, sweaty palms, flushing in the face, upset stomach and difficulty in speech."
Bruce: So he has a crush and instead of handling it in a healthy normal way, Damian just assumed that this Fenton boy is patient zero? And now he's stalking the boy to prove it.
Barbara: That's a good summary, yeah. Oh and he's doing it as Damian Wayne. I'm also like ninety-nine percent sure Fenton is aware of Damian following him around.
Bruce defeated: Of course he is. How bad is Fenton handling it?
Barbara: Suprisingly, I think he finds it funny. I hacked Fenton's messages to his friends back in Amity Park and he has described Damian as "A cute human trying to be a proper ghost in courting."
Bruce: What does that mean?
Barbara shrugging: Local teenage slang most likely. Other teenagers in Amity Park talk like that a lot from what I could dig up. In any case, you need to have a chat with Damian.
Bruce sighing: I'll dig up the old puberty books and speak with Damian tonight. There goes my bubble bath time....
Barbara patting his shoulder: May you one day soak for hours without your kids doing something stupid.
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lgbtlunaverse · 1 year ago
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I've seen a good number of people ask a question along the lines of "why do characters like Falin and hate Laios when they're so similar?" and i've also seen good analysis on the differences in how the touden siblings carry themselves that would, despite their shared traits, make a person gravitate to one more than the other.
But i feel like we've overseen one very central thing here.
People don't like Falin
Like... the average person in dungeon meshi doesn't like Falin. She was deeply ostrasized by her home village, in magic school she had zero friends before Marcille and the others generally saw her as strange and a bit offputting.
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Characters like Namari and Chilchuck like her well enough but not necessarily more than any other member of their party, including Laios. Neither Kabru nor his party think much of her. The canaries don't give a fuck about her. Toshiro's retainers don't see her as anything else than the weird foreign girl their boss has a crush on.
The reason we think everyone loves Falin is because, despite all the indifferent side characters, the 2 most important and central characters of the story are Laios and Marcille. Who are NOT representative of the average attitudes to Falin! But necromancy georg number 1 and 2 are our main eyes into the story and they love Falin so much that it colours our perspective of the whole world.
The only side character who qualifies as liking Falin and not Laios is Toshiro (at least at first, as he ends the story on much better terms with Laios) and that says a lot about his character, with him drifting to the quiet Falin precisely because of her oddness but being both uncomfortable with and deeply jealous of Laios' much more open expression of that oddness. Because he's a repressed guy from a culture where etiquette is incredibly important.
But like I said, that's a specific aspect of him, not to the world at large.
Because there's also people that click more with laios than with Falin.
Kabru, for one, who is initially distrustful of laios but clearly also deeply fascinated by him and drawn to him.
Minor spoilers, and you don't have to read too deeply into this, because I don't think Kabru particularly dislikes Falin or anything. But it's interesting that when he talks about his distrust of the toudens in ch.32 he's talking about them both. But his big friendship declaration in chapter 76 is aimed squarely at Laios, he doesn't say "you and your sister" he says "you"
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And Senshi!! He instantly clicks with Laios, well before he does so with anyone else in the party– who he also becomes friends with, it just takes a bit longer– specifically because they bond over their shared special interest in monsters!! Senshi is kind towards Falin and cares for her wellbeing, but he also... doesn't know her. The reason he is even here, helping to save her, is because he and Laios bonded over monsters and he wants to help his new friends out!
Of course, the theme of neurodivergent isolation is very present in Laios' story. I'm not denying that. He does turn people off, without meaning to and unable to fully understand why! But so does Falin. And just like there are people who like her despite of or even because of those traits, there are people who do the same with him.
In conclusion: "Average person loves Falin and hates Laios" factoid actually statistical error. Average person is neutral on both Falin and Laios. Georcille, Laiorg and Geoshiro, who live in the dungeon and think over 10,000 Falin-loving thoughts a day, are statistical outliers adn should not have been counted.
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limbcom · 4 months ago
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"Holding your hand doesn't have to mean that I accept your friendship," the liar said to the truthful, trying to lie in front of the only person who understands his intentions.
He knows, of course, that the liar did not lie. For the liar is also the truthful.
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dingledraw · 11 months ago
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Well, that went down like a lead balloon.
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lonesomenecromancer · 3 months ago
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MOTH BLAST
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