#you're the same. you two are the same

[oplishin]

finally seeking out the rolleigns 2022 match in its entirety (by which i mean. including their full entrances/introductions

i just really appreciate how shitty both of them are. they're the worst. especially to each other.

[inkskinned]

i'm still trying to piece together the truth of it. when you left, you said: feel free to spin this narrative however you want. i have no idea if you were being cruel or if you just genuinely don't remember what you've done to me.

it's hard because i'd done so much of the work for you. i had seen the parts that flaked off, the rust underneath. i started separating you into two people - the one i loved, and the one who hurt me. i had this fantasy version of you - my partner - and then i had this stranger, a third person who would show up randomly to shatter me. i am deliriously glad i'm no longer with "the stranger". i miss the gentle (unreal?) "other" you terribly.

at first, i was so strict about my boundaries. i remember telling you to get the fuck out of my house if you were going to talk to me like that. by the end: i would justify your behavior for you, accepting even your mistreatment as "my fault" in the grand scheme. i look back on the person i was before you - smart, independent, confident - and i feel a strange sense of detachment. i don't even recognize me.

even in one of our last conversations, you said: if you want a partner that always talks warmly to you, find someone else. there was a time that a comment like that would have made me leave. and instead, somehow, i just placidly accepted that kind of thing. you were literally telling me that i wasn't allowed to have a reaction to your cruelty - and i just took it, because you'd so fully turned things around on me.

when people are faced with irrationality, a rational brain tries to make sense of it. this is the trap. they're lovely in the morning, gentle and blue-eyed and sweet. like nothing even happened, they breeze around the house and kiss you on the mouth. but at night; who is that? they snap almost randomly; flying into an impotent rage about just-about-anything. it just doesn't make sense. so the problem must be me, and my brain, and how i think.

the traumatized brain just wants peace. so maybe i'm misremembering. maybe you were just having a bad day. maybe it's actually me.

you eventually would fully turn on me and start implying that i am the bad actor in our relationship. that's what happens, right? that's literally in the playbook. you went to therapy for all of a month, told her a half-truth, co-opted therapyspeak. you figured out how to reframe your actions as "seeking peace." any time i stood my ground, i was "gaslighting." when i asked you to be more gentle, you said i was "tone policing." you said, randomly, i had emotionally manipulated you - i still have no idea what that's even specifically referring to. maybe my consistent requests for calmness and empathy?

and while i literally know better, and i'm sitting here, trained by you, thinking: wait, fuck. was i actually the person you made me out to be?

and the thing that scares me is that i literally do not know if you ever actually saw what you were doing to me. when you'd tell me how you remember arguments, you'd always summarize them in a way where you come off as gentle and easy: "i was trying to set an important boundary." what had actually happened was 15 minutes of you shouting at me i know you did something shady, just admit it already. eventually you'd say my reaction to your shouting (when i finally reacted, which usually happened around hour three) was inevitably "disappointing" and "another way i'm silencing your feelings."

how many times did i ask you - beg you - to just take accountability? looking back, i don't think i ever heard you say: you're right. the way i talked to you was wrong of me.

i am trying to tie together the two people into a full version of you in my head. yes, you made my coffee and made me laugh and spent hours on the phone with me. and yes - you would scream at me until i had to run away and hide behind something.

i wish i did have a narrative i could pull out and shape to my whim. i wish i did have some semblance of reality. instead i just stand here, strange and vibrating, wondering: what the fuck just happened?

[hawnks]

You're jealous. It makes you lash out, makes you meet Keigo with claws and teeth and cruel, irrational accusations.

You pack a bag after your last big blow up, shame dogging your every move. A week. Maybe a little more. However long it takes you to stop feeling like a monster, to rein in these dark impulses that have taken hold of you.

He stops you at the door with a firm grip around your arm. Looming over you, leaning down until he's in your space.

"Why?"

How can you even respond. Why? Isn't he angry with you? Doesn't he see how unreasonable you're being?

You tell him the truth. "I'm embarrassed, Keigo."

His hold on you tightens. "So you're running away?"

"I'm not--" You let out a long breath. "I just need to calm down. Get a hold of myself."

"You can do that here. At home."

You tug. He doesn't release you.

"I don't want you to see me like this."

His expression turns stormy.

"You want to keep secrets from me?" You can't even question this before he's continuing, eyes amber bright and sharp as he pulls you further into his space. "You don't want me to see you what --jealous? Don't I have a right to know? Don't I deserve to be with you for this? We're lovers, and you still want to hide pieces of yourself from me?"

Trembling, you let yourself be drawn back into the penthouse. You couldn't fight him even if you tried.

He sets you on the bed, so he can push you down, curl up on top of you, all around you. Caging you in.

"There," he says. "You're not going anywhere. Would it help if I told you about all the times I wanted to kill anyone who touches you? How about how I want to lock you up, forever and ever? I can show you the collar I picked out, if that would make you feel better." He leans up so he can nibble your ear, whisper, "Or you could put it on me, if you want."

[obibail]

"Still not helpful."

[lazylittledragon]

so uhhhhhhhh. not to be cryptic and bitchy on main but congratulations to everyone in my messages for like 5 months on being right i guess

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[bean-spring]

Jayvik Modern AUs are hilarious to me because my boy Jayce is NOT playing any sports. He is NOT a jock. He is a gymbro nerd who tries to get his rich sister to play DnD with him, spends his days at the chemistry lab, plays chess and one day he suddenly needs to help the football team covering for someone because people think he must like sports. He doesn't even get along with everyone. He tries, of course, but he isn't the golden boy until the extremely rich and popular girl, president of the student-council, goes all "Popular! You're gonna be popular!" Glinda on him until he becomes popular thinking he's doing something good for the school when he isn't and he's getting carried away by fame and parties when all he truly wants is being with his lab partner Viktor. At the end of the day, Arcane truly was just like High School tbh.

[cctinsleybaxter]

The left is on board with 'the general public isn't willing to go up against millionaires and billionaires because they hope deep down that they themselves might one day be wealthy, ' but within leftist circles I'm constantly seeing and knowing people who're unwilling to go up against copyright law or making media completely free, and I swear to god it's because they hope they themselves might one day be full-time big-name artists who would be "robbed" by such a system

[forzathunder]

"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity

that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him

[krysmcscience]

The Lamb is malicious in a funny way and the Goat is funny in a malicious way. No, I will not elaborate.

Anyway, everyone give thanks to the Lamb for interrupting what was sure to be a very boring and patronizing PSA from their grouchy cat hubby. Truly, they are doing God's work. Granted, the Lamb canonically is God now, so, uh. Mostly they're just doing their own work.

Speaking of their grouchy cat hubby, yes this is absolutely still Narilamb, Narinder is 100% into his goofy-ass spouse always no matter what and we all know it, he just wasn't expecting his brand new adopted kid to share the same single goofy-ass brain cell as the Lamb. :)

[claraoswalds]

The End of the World // Gridlock

[4bsurdcreature]

Narrative Foils

Based off of This Post

[jonathanbyersphd]

I get why everyone is upset but like I'm not like shocked Jonathan wasn't in the trailer. Jonathan Byers fans never get shit

[deiaiko]

#23 - Kiss

Masterlist

Previous

Next

Let me know your thoughts in the reblogs <3

☕ Buy me coffee ☕

[phantomrose96]

I’m sure your oomfs joke is extremely funny but unfortunately my eyes glaze over when I start trying to read code. Let it be known that I have faith in your jokes, though

(context)

non-code-heavy explanation!

sometimes in programming, you'll have a process which is kind of made up of smaller versions of itself.

non-code example: if your task is "read and reply to all unread emails" and you have 100 unread emails. that task is kind of the same as choosing one email to read and reply to, then repeating "read and reply to all unread emails" on the remaining 99 emails. repeat until no emails. (99 bottles of beer on the wall logic)

a common way to do this is with "recursion." a lot of fundamental programming courses teach it because it's a good fundamental. however it's often a poor way to do things, due to computer reasons.

during a recursive task, you "drill down" to do the smaller versions of the task, then come back up. but that "drilling down" can't go infinitely deep. there's a limit to how far down you can drill. and careless recursion can drill really deep and crash the program.

you can avoid all of that drilling if you don't recurse.

my post took a recursive implementation and rewrote it into a non-recursive one.

but the joke there is the original problem was never about recursive-vs-nonrecursive optimization. the original problem was me inventing an infinitely large never-ending outcome. so I swapped one infinitely-large process for a different kind of infinitely-large process. Both of which obviously fail. Just with slightly different flavors.

[skeletoninthemelonland]

a glimpse of what their early dynamic looks like