#zach you flop

[le-agent-egg]

I was trying to say this in my best Tsumugi voice and my vocal chords do not work anymore

Anyway day 9 ammirite??? Friendly reminder from Tsumugi!!!

And if its not Monday in your time zone then sparkle on! It’s Tuesday for you! Don’t forget to be yourself!

[gh0stsp1d3r]

ski trip

full req here | requested by anon

warnings: awkward reader, ntm tbh!

MASTERLIST

A three day skiing trip, where students from all ages and grades would be. 200 people. It sounded chaotic to you, but, your friend had been pushing for you to go, practically begging. It took her a while, but eventually, you crumbled.

Before leaving, you searched the resort up, sighing softly as you clicked and read through the website. You noticed that it said there was a hot tub, your eyebrows raising.

That’s what led you to pack your bathing suit, as well as the warmest clothes you owned. You grabbed your backpack, as well as a cup of coffee, before leaving and meeting up with your friend.

“We are gonna have so much fun.” She told you with a squeal, you nodding at her with a small smile on your face.

At the resort, you were paired up into groups of 8. With 2 people in each room, you and your friend decided to sleep in the same room, obviously. The first night was for unpacking, the second night, skiing.

As soon as you stepped outside, the frigid air enveloped you like a blanket would. There was the trees standing tall, their branches laden with glistening white snow. You wrapped your arms around yourself, a rather futile effort to stave off the shivers that threatened to creep in, despite being bundled up in thick layers of your clothing.

Your breath created soft clouds in the air as you chatted with your friend. With every step toward the rental shop and the slopes ahead, a surge of excitement bubbled within you, making your heart race in anticipation.

After renting the skis and walking to a slope, you and your friend both put the goggles on your heads before rushing down the slope, laughing together.

As the sun dipped toward the horizon and the light disappeared, the of the skiers slowly faded as they began to gather their gear, ski poles clinking and boots crunching on the icy ground.

One by one, people made their way inside, seeking the warm refuge of the lodges.

You and your friend took off your boots, sighing and flopping onto the couch with the rest of the group, everyone chatting about their experiences.

You had another idea in your head now that your limbs were sore and you were spent. You glanced outside, and at the hot tub outside.

You threw off all the layers you had on, and put on your bathing suit instead. You grabbed a towel, wrapping it over your body and quietly sneaking out of the lodge, pulling the sliding glass door behind you closed.

You took a sigh of relief as you stepped into the hot tub, your towel hanging on the edge of a rocking chair nearby. You had your knees pulled up to your chest, closing your eyes, you felt at peace.

Your peace and silence was interrupted by the noise of the boys sliding glass door opening, making you shoot your head up to look up.

You were met with the sight of Zach Maclaren, famous soccer superstar at the school. You swallowed, and your first instinct was to get up and run before he could see your face, but, before you could do that, he had turned around with a shocked look on his face when he saw you.

“Sorry. I didn’t know anyone was out here.” He spoke with a raspy laugh, your cheeks already burning up. You just gave him a small smile and nod.

“Is it uh… cool if I get in with you? It’s cool if not, but-“ he scratched the nape of his neck, a friendly smile remaining on his face as he spoke.

“No, no, you’re fine. I don’t… like own the hot tub.” You said with a small awkward laugh, him laughing along with you while he took off the towel that hung around his hips.

You stared at him, your mouth going slightly agape as you realized just how buff he was. His abs, and the way his biceps flexed with every small movement he made.

Zach Maclaren was hot.

He looked back up at you, now in only his swim trunks. He got into the hot tub, sitting on the other side of you.

"I'm Zach." He spoke, you staring back at him.

"Y/N." You replied.

He cast occasional glances in your direction every once in a while. As he sank deeper into the cool depths of the water, you felt an instinctive urge to look away, to avoid the weight of his gaze.

He cleared his throat, “So, uh, what brings you here, at this hour?” He asked you, you finally looking at him. He looked into your irises, a small smile making its way into his face when you began to speak.

“Oh, I just- you know, wanted to get away…” you stammered out, him nodding. “What… what about you?” You asked, unconsciously sinking into yourself even more, your arms and your legs hiding your stomach.

“Me too.” He nodded, his arms folding over his chest. “It’s nice out.” He murmured, finally tearing away from your eyes and looking at the stars behind you, you glancing behind you.

“It is.” You spoke quietly, feeling his eyes back on you when you were looking back. Your heart was in your stomach, your mind racing. You just cast your gaze downwards, turning your body to face forward again. You stared at the ripples in the water as if they were the most interesting thing ever, staring down at your legs and the way you hugged yourself.

"I've never... seen you around." He told you, you looking up at him, wondering what he was getting at. "What's uh... your major?"

"It's... embarrassing." you started.

"It can't be that bad."

"It's creative writing." You said with a small shrug, him smiling at your answer and the way you were slowly warming up to him.

"That's not embarrassing at all." He assured, a toothy grin making its way onto his face. "I think that's actually cool."

"Thanks." You felt warm at his compliment, you genuinely smiling back at him. You both stared at each other for a moment with smiles on your faces before you shook yourself out of it. "What... What about you?"

"It's not nearly as cool as creative writing... but, business. I'm only in it because I needed to major in something to play a sport."

"What do you mean?" You asked with a laugh, him quirking his eyebrows. "Business is cool. There's nothing wrong with that."

He didnt expect that reply, his lips forming a slight pout as he thought, he looked down now. You felt regret when you saw him look down, wondering if what you said had made him feel awkward.

"Yeah, it can be cool." He mumbled.

"Yeah." You nodded.

"So, uhm," He started, looking back up at you now. "What made you choose writing?"

You and him both talked for what felt like hours, conversation flowing naturally as if you'd been friends for years. It was refreshing for him, to have a real, meaningful conversation with someone despite just meeting them not too long ago.

"I gotta say," you spoke while you both laughed together, "you are not how I expected you to be. Like at all."

"Really?" He hummed. "How did you expect me to be?"

"Honestly? Kind of douchey. Sorry."

He laughed, smiling. "Yeah, I get it. Popular, hot, soccer superstar? Totally douchey sounding." He replied in a joking tone.

You had to laugh at that. He watched as the corners of your mouth lifted up and he swore he could go insane at just the sound of your voice.

He never thought he would have this reaction to a girl he just met, he never thought he would feel connected to someone so quick, but something about you was having him replay the sound of your laughter and the soothing song of your voice while he laid in bed later that night.

Zach Maclaren knew he had to have you that night, he knew he had to hear that sound again.

[repulsiveliquidation]

Sun to Me || Leah Williamson

For the sake of the story, we’re going to pretend that Zach Bryan’s song of the same name came out way earlier than it really did :) no warnings i think, just a little fluff and angst?

Leah lay in bed wide awake at 5:34 am. The sun was just starting to rise and a sliver of light slipped into the room. She could hear Simon, your dog, walking around the room, trying to find himself a comfy spot to go back to bed. You had your leg thrown over hers, wrapped around her knee. Your breath hit her neck steadily, arm around her stomach gripping her shirt just a little.

Leah had had a bad day. It started with missing the first hour of training because her car had a flat tire that she insisted on changing herself when she didn’t really know how. You jumped in and saved the day when you heard her grumble in frustration as you enjoyed your morning coffee on the balcony above her.

Then she hurt her hamstring during training with Arsenal just a day after being announced in the England squad again. She called you sobbing, feeling angry with herself for being reckless and impatient. Again, you swooped in and met her in the training room in record time, pulling your girlfriend into your arms to comfort her.

Hauling her into your car an hour later, you surprised her with sunflowers in the passenger seat for her. She stood at the door and just stared at them, caressing the bright yellow petals with gentle fingers.

“How did you have time to get them? To get me?”

“Funny how fast news travels to me when it concerns you, Lee. You know I’d drop everything for you.”

“Who called?”

“Who didn’t?”

Leah sighed and looked down at you, pushing a couple of loose hairs from your bun out of your sleeping face. The look of pure calm on your face reminded her of the first time she met you. The scrawny kid trying out for the football team back home in Milton Keynes. Eleven year old you had braces and pigtails, an Arsenal jersey 2 sizes too big on, boots that were also too big, and a look of panic that none of the other girls had.

You immediately made it clear that your parents signed you up for an after-school activity that you were not particularly fond of. However, with some tips from your three older brothers and a stern warning from them about keeping up the family name, you made it on the team. Leah was also picked and you two made quick friends.

Your agility and smaller stature gave you the advantage as a striker while Leah’s taller, more athletic build benefitted her as a defender. You two had undeniable chemistry on the field and it showed on game days. Her long balls always found your feet and were almost always converted into goals. She just had to glance up at you to see you already looking at her, waiting for the ball.

By the time you were 17, your feelings for each other could no longer be ignored. For the sake of the team, you both had kept it to yourselves and pined for each other day in and day out but when the reality of Leah getting a position on the Arsenal first team came up, you couldn’t let her leave without a confession.

You pulled her into your room the night before her last game for the home team, shooing your roommate Grace out of the room for the night.

“You ready for tomorrow?” she asked sheepishly, standing awkwardly in the doorway of the hotel room. You sat on your bed and picked at your thumbs, confession right on the tip of your tongue. Leah could sense your nervousness and knew you were hiding something.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, closing your eyes and balling your fists. You took a deep breath, opened your eyes, and screamed, Leah standing in front of you with her face in yours.

“Don’t do that!” you yelled and hit her arm, watching as she flopped back on Grace’s bed laughing.

“Leah?” you call, the tension in the room broken. She chuckles just a little as she remembers the look on your face, sitting up and looking across from you.

“What’s up?” she questions, foot bouncing furiously. You reach over and rest a hand on it, immediately noticing her calm.

“I really like you. I realize that I have for a long time and the idea of you not knowing while you move up in football scared me. I know you probably don’t feel the same way and that this could ruin what we have but I couldn’t go one more game without you knowing how I feel about you.”

You carefully look up and expect anger on her face but are met with a look of love. Before you could say anything her lips were on yours, soft and warm. They molded perfectly in yours, that tingling sensation in both your stomachs. You fall back and she follows, lips never leaving yours.

She pulls away first and smiles, moving off you to lay beside you. You snuggle into her side like you are in the present, hand right over her rapidly beating heart.

“Will you be mine?” she asked after the game the next day on the bus home. You two were tucked away in the back of the bus, hidden from everyone else. Her hand found yours and held it in her lap, thumb gently rubbing the back of your palm as you shared earbuds. Zach Bryan’s raspy voice filled both your ears as you moved to lay your head against her chest.

You fell asleep to his voice and her hand in your hair, gently awoken 2 hours later with Leah’s Arsenal jacket draped around you. She walked you home hand in hand, face falling when she reached your doorstep.

“I leave in the morning with Mum,” she told you quietly, face fixated on the ground. You stood on the steps of your house, bags piled by your feet. A tear falls and hits her sleeves in her hoodie pocket and the dam breaks. She falls to her knees and you catch her, hugging her tight as she wishes you could come with her.

“I’ve got other plans for my future, Lee,” you tell her, tears filling your own eyes. “But all those plans have you in them, I promise.”

You take her face in your hands and her eyes are still watery. You wipe the stray tears away and smile, leaning in to peck her lips.

“I’ve waited a lifetime for you,” you whisper, “now I get the spend it with you.”

Leah glances at the clock and it’s almost when your alarm goes off. Simon jumped onto the bed fifteen minutes earlier and curled up by your feet, now fast asleep like his mum. She slipped out of bed as carefully as she could but Simon woke up when the blanket shifted. You remained in deep sleep, rolling over onto Leah’s much warmer spot on the bed.

She tiptoed out of bed and Simon followed, the little pads of his feet echoed in the living room as she poured his kibble into his bowl. She started the coffee machine and pulled out your favorite to make for breakfast, thankfully it was simple and hard to burn. As the toaster oven heated a couple of frozen waffles, Leah set out to clean the living room just a little to ease your load.

She laid the blanket over the couch and began to clear your notebooks when one of your sticky notes slipped out of it. She randomly stuck it back into your notebook hoping it wasn’t important when your pretty writing and her name caught her eye.

She opened the notebook and gasped, your writing was perfectly cursive and left no wasted space in the margins. You had been researching her ACL injury extensively, working closely in your clinics to find out why female athletes were plagued with this injury.

After Leah left for Arsenal, you pursued a lifelong dream of medicine, specifically as a sports medicine physician. After a career-ending knee injury for your father, he channeled his dream of playing professional football onto his children. Your brothers all became successful athletes, playing for fantastic clubs but you loved treating them when they got hurt. While you were still a great footballer, in the operating room was where your talents shone.

Having performed Leah’s surgery yourself, you drove deep into a rabbit hole of research to find out why this was common in women’s sports, specifically football.

Leah came home one day and felt the world crumble before her. She missed football. She missed being on the pitch. She missed getting teased by the girls for loving you so deeply. All she wanted was to come home and hear you yell at her for not putting her kit bag away or for forgetting to pick up celery like you’d asked. All she wanted was to see you wearing her jersey in the stands next to her family while she raced across the pitch to tackle someone or to watch the girls fawn over you when you brought coffee on Saturdays.

That day, she came home to an empty house. Simon was with you at the office and there was a note on the fridge for her. It told her you had an emergency surgery and to not wait up for you, and that there was dinner in the fridge for her too.

She sat in the living room in silence, the tinnitus in her ears the only constant in the room. Her leg was propped up like it should be and iced all around. The TV remote was too far to reach and her music player too far to set up. Her voices in her head were taking over the buzzing and she was slowly sinking in on herself.

What if she didn’t make it back to the team?

What if they didn’t want her to play for them again?

What if they found someone better than her?

What if they…

“Leah?”

Her head whips up and some tears fly off her cheeks with the speed. You’re standing in front of her in your scrubs and a wagging-tailed Simon by your side. He jumps onto the couch and settles beside her, you joining him seconds later. You caress her cheek and wipe her tears away, pressing your lips to hers.

Words aren’t necessary for her to tell you what was wrong. In her haze, she was beating herself up verbally and you had heard every word come out of her mouth. Your heart broke and felt heavy, she’s been struggling and kept it hidden very well.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she weeps, clutching your shirt tightly. You cradle her face like you did all those years ago on your doorstep. She looks up at you with that same watery look and you peck her lips just the same.

“You can and you will, Leah. I’ll be here every step of the way.”

The lyrics to Zach Bryan’s song that was playing from the music player pulled her out of her thoughts and the smell of burning waffles reminded her of why she was still here.

“Find someone who grows flowers in the darkest parts of you.”

[absurdthirst]

Kinktober 2024: October 16th

Day 16: Nipple Play // Cock Worship // Lactation 

Zach Wellison x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Cock worship, praise, fondling, kissing, licking, ball sucking

|| Kinktober List || MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

You can tell that Zach has never had this kind of attention before. His eyes are wide and fixed on you. Dilated and dark with need as his chest heaves, the glistening of a light sheen of sweat making his skin look dewy. 

“Baby, I don’t need-” His head rolls back and another soft moan falls out of his slack mouth, almost lazily as your tongue drags up the side of his cock again. 

Months ago this man had burst into your life, protective and comforting. Down on his own luck but willing to step in front of you and act like a shield. The honor that had been instilled in him on a drill field for the Marines in San Diego still visible underneath the tired misfortune. 

He had been grateful and uneasy about accepting the help you had offered, but he had done it anyway. Never one to take it for granted, to expect things. He had improved his own life through hard words and improved yours by just being a good friend. Only for those feelings that had been brewing between you to finally bubble up one night and turn into passion. 

Now you are here, showing him how much you adore him, how worthy he is for love and affection. For physicality. He had been nearly touch-starved when you first slept together, his own insecurities playing a large part of that, and you have made it a mission to prove to him that he deserves someone who gives him as much love as he has given you. 

“Yes you do.” You coo when your tongue flicks back into your mouth and you grin up at him, watching his head flop back to his chest and his eyes open lazily to watch you. Glazed over with lust and love, cheeks flushed a pretty hue and deepened when you wink at him. 

Sometimes you think that he never imagined you being so filthy. So dirty. It was like you had been placed on a pedestal in his mind, unobtainable and never willing to degrade yourself by doing something so low. 

“It’s not like any blowjob I’ve ever had.” He halfway laughs, half blows out the comment and you feel him twitching in your hand as you lazily pump him, your hand gripping his length loosely. 

“Not a blowjob.” You correct, leaning in and pressing a tender kiss to the tip of the flushed head, only to sneakily lap at it when he groans again. “Cock worship.”

You can tell that he has no idea what that is, but you will show him. You are going to worship this beautiful, hard, pulsing member and make him feel better than he’s ever felt in his life. You are going to make him feel wanted, you do want him, all the time and because he is so good at satisfying you this is something you need to do. 

He whines, resisting the urge to touch you, balling his hands up in fists and panting in protest. “You could- you could come sit on my face while you do it.” He bargains, looking down at you again with a pleading expression. Again, wanting to give rather than be your sole focus. 

“This is about you, baby.” You remind him, squeezing him gently for good measure before you kiss the head again and run your tongue along that lovely little vein right back down to the base. Kissing around it and smirking to yourself that he has obviously trimmed his hair again. He keeps it short and neat, meticulously so. 

“You-” Your other hand moves down to his pelvis, pressing lightly and your teeth scrape around the shaft lightly, not enough to ever hurt him but his sharp inhale of breath tells you that he loves this. 

It’s hard not to giggle when he’s choking up and stopping mid sentence because of how you are making him feel. The pleasure that he’s getting from this overrides his embarrassment at being the center of attention, even when it’s just the two of you. Your mouth starts to slowly drag lower, not wanting to leave those beautifully soft balls denied of your touch. 

“Oh fuck.” Zach gasps, his hips jerking slightly when you take one into your mouth, sucking ever so gently and pushing it around with your tongue. “Baby, you’re so- fuck, I don’t deserve this.” He tells you breathlessly. 

Yes, he does. For the exact reason that he’s telling you he doesn’t. He has given you so much, boosted your own crumbling self image after learning that your boyfriend had been cheating. Built you back up emotionally with loving words and compliments, but he never wanted to take those same words from you. 

So you will show him through actions. As many times as it takes for him to believe that he is worth all of this and more. You just hum and continue to lavish that sac with attention while your fingers slowly stroke up and down his stiff length. 

He makes the most beautiful sounds for you. Surprised and weighted down with unspoken want, need, all wrapped up in those sexy groans and moans. Your name falls from his lips over and over again. 

Eventually, he will need more, but as you move over to the other ball, you plan on dragging this out for him. To heap this singularly focused attention on him for as long as he will be able to stand it without touching you. It’s a countdown right now. 

“Baby-” You pop the other one out of your mouth and hum as you move back up to kiss up the length of his cock and grin at him. “What do you need, Zach?” You ask playfully, circling the tip with your tongue again. 

“More.” He admits, his eyes slipping closed and his groan of your name so wrecked that it almost makes you cum. “I need more.”

“You’re going to get more.” You promise, licking your lips as you lower your head back to his cock and start the process of worshiping it all over again. He’s going to get so much more because he deserves it. 

[wildkrattsvillainsvlog]

*takes off Zach's shoes to show that he's wear my little pony socks* *Throws the shoes 50 feet across the room and runs away screaming and singing my little pony theme song*

Zach: HEY! MY SHOES!

Donita: *ugly ahh goose honk laughter* IT'S FLUTTERSHY!

Dabio: Hey I have those! Except it has Pinkie Pie.

Gourmand: That's Hella gay.

Paisley: Says you.

Rex: Exactly, baby. He's built like that one pony called Woah Nelly.

Gourmand: Who the flip flop diddly dop is Woah Nelly?

Rex: Here you go.

Gourmand: OH FOR THE LOVE OF-

[zayne-s]

teen dad au single dad zayne future zayne/(named) mc no EVER

it was a decision fueled by alcohol and pent up teenage hormones and now zayne is paying the price. he received the news with the stipulation that, under no circumstances, was she going to raise a baby at her age. zayne could argue the same could be said for him, but the damage was already done and the decision final.

when zachary li is brought into the world, zayne is 19 and terrified, but the photos the nurse took of him cutting the umbilical cord and holding his son for the first time show the unmistakable love in his eyes for this tiny human that has his nose and his mouth and his hair.

no matter the circumstances of how zachary came to be, zayne's parents are so excited to be grandparents. when the baby is born, zayne moves back in with them for a little while so he can get his bearings and learn how to be a dad. so many sleepless nights of zayne trying to calm his screaming son as his mom and dad help with the diaper changes and bottle feeds.

zayne realizes that it truly does take a village and he's never been so grateful to have his parents helping him navigate all of this.

his saturday mornings are spent sitting with his son in front of the tv while they watch educational cartoons for babies and on the floor for tummy time and to play with his toys.

(zachary starts crawling and zayne is surprised to find himself crying)

as he gets older, his little boy is full of smiles and giggles and has a sweet tooth that can rival his dad's. it's no secret that zachary is a yapper and will talk the head off of anyone if they let him. they may look alike, but his personality is the complete opposite of zayne's.

sometimes he wonders what traits his son received from his mother's side.

by the time zayne is settled into his position of chief of surgery, the hospital staff is well acquainted with the little boy who comes into visit his dad. the interns, however, the new batches, are always blindsided by seeing their senior who is normally so cold and aloof (and who they're slightly scared of) showing his emotions and smiling so freely as he holds the hand of this kid who looks so much like him.

zach is enamored with clopidogrel. he brings him mixed nuts every time he visits.

when zayne is busy, greyson or yvonne will take zach and they'll hang out either in the cafeteria or the courtyard until zayne is free.

tigers are his favorite animal and he loves to swim—zayne's days off in the summer months are mainly spent at yéye and nâinai's house since they have an in ground pool. this kid is a fish out of water and would live in the pool if he could.

picture with me: little zach, around 5-6, running up the sidewalk to his grandparents house, already in his tiger printed swim trunks with his little goggles on his head. zayne is carrying his green floaties, blown up and ready to go. zach eagerly opens the front door and yells out "yéye!! nâinai!! i come swim!!!" as he makes a beeline for the patio doors that lead out to the pool.

his favorite pool game is jumping in and his dad catching him. zayne spends most of his time in the pool trying to talk zach out of doing cannonballs.

(don't get sidetracked by the image of zayne in a pool, hair wet and flopping in his face.....)

they would definitely be mistaken for siblings a lot.

"oh you must be so proud of him as his big brother!" "he's my son, actually, but yes, i'm very proud of him."

growing up, zach is a major daddy's boy. it's to be expected since it's just been him and zayne for so long. he's not afraid to go to his dad for help on anything or be emotional around him. he also knows that he can go to his dad whenever he's bored and just wants to talk. this filters into his teens, too.

zayne is very cautious of who he brings into his son's life. he goes on dates, but hardly any of them make it past the initial dinner, and if they do, they make it clear it's for sex only. so there really isn't any reason for him to broach any topic that would be a deal breaker.

until zach is 7 and riley tripp, a childhood friend, filters back into zayne's life after ten years. he's her primary, but then the meetups outside of appointments turn into actual dates that turn into overnights at each other's places, and zayne thinks she's safe enough to show her the other part of his life.

zach loves her instantly. he's showing riley all his cool toys and telling her about his favorite superheroes and it's the fact that riley is paying attention and asking him questions to keep him engaged that tells zayne that she's the one.

they get married when zach is 8. he calls her "mom" for the first time when he's 10 and riley cries.

i said this kid was a talker who isn't afraid to talk to his dad about anything and everything and that also extends to riley. sometimes she gets home before zayne does in the evening so she'll be trying to get something ready for dinner and zach will come downstairs like, "MOM, okay get this—" and he'll just go on and on about his dad and repeat it all to zayne when he gets home.

after dinner, zayne and riley are in bed, winding down for the day. riley on her phone and zayne on his laptop. the atmosphere would be quiet, relaxing, but zachary is squished between them, yap yap yapping away. has been for the past hour and a half. until zayne gently covers his face with his hand and goes, "alright, bud, you need to go to bed. it's late and you have school." and zach gives this great big sigh but heaves himself up and as he's heading to the door, he gives his parents the 'i'm watching you' fingers and says, "okay, but don't you crazy kids stay up too late."

[sweettoothvn]

who would listen to me rant about the video game industry and how things are getting worse and the stupid decision these companies (especially Nintendo) keep making, and my theories and predictions on another crash and flops the industry will have

Zach, Casey, Chrys, and Kieran

Andre would too, but he has no idea about games nor understand them so don’t be surprised if he’s a little confused on the good first half of your rant, but he’s happy to hear you anytime

[jokerislandgirl32]

Hammerheads, Or …The Episode Where Zach Had His Period

Okay, so this is just a little headcanon dump based on observations I made the first time I watched Hammerheads. In this post I will be discussing trans Zach and menstruation/periods, so if this upsets anyone please let me know, I do not mean to cause any harm or hurt to anyone who is trans by making these observations. 

If anything you read is hurtful or harmful to you as a trans person, please feel free to dm me and tell me. Just do so politely, please, I’m truly not trying to cause harm with this post. If anything I wrote is inaccurate, feel free to let me know and I can adjust it, or if it’s downright triggering for you, I will be happy to delete the post.

You can find the rest of the post below the cut ⬇️

My reasoning for this headcanon is honestly the way he’s acting throughout the episode…he’s like me when I’m having my cycle (for my fellow period acquaintances can we all agree they are awful, please tell me it’s not just me)…so this post is considering the possibility that Zach is trans and is enduring…the many joys…of a moon cycle. 

The first thing that I notice about Zach in this episode is that he’s binge eating cookies for over half of his screen time in the episode. And they are not just any cookies, these are cookies with chocolate on them, and from the looks of it half of the chocolate is dark chocolate.

I can’t say it’s helped me or anyone I know who has a period, but I’ve heard dark chocolate can alleviate the pain associated with cramping, and if that is the case, Zach may be experiencing cramps, and he’s trying to dull the pain with a comfort food. 

And, he can probably go through phases in his cycle where he’s eating everything in sight. So, the fact that he’s chowing down on a whole box of cookies makes complete sense to me. Then there is his reaction when the box falls to the ground, crushing and soiling the cookies.

Now, we all know Zach’s a dramatic little guy, but his reaction is over the top dramatic, even for him. The man shoves the tattered remains aside and then flops over in his chair in complete devastation….ummm, you good, Zach? 

When going through a cycle, one’s emotions can be all over the place. So, if Zach really wanted those cookies, and he didn’t get to eat them, having a little hissy fit over the loss of them is not out of the question if his period is wrecking havoc on his body and mind. 

Next, I bring your attention to his body language throughout the episode. Zach is historically known for his lazy behaviors: not wanting to move much and having the Zachbots carry him around, but his movements and actions feel a bit off to me. He is moving and acting as one who is guarded in their actions, namely, one who is in discomfort. 

Of all the screenshots I compiled of Zach from this episode I only have about 10 out of 93 where he is standing straight up. In all the other screenshots, he is either sitting or leaning over/against something. And even when he is sitting and leaning his body language seems tensed. 

While he’s sitting in his hover chair eating his cookies, one of his hands is almost always shown gripping the seat, which seems like another clear indicator of him trying to deal with his pain. 

In the scenes where he’s watching the Zachbots be equipped with their hammerheads, and he’s taking them out to breakdown the Tortuga’s door, he is almost always leaning over a railing. He seems to be holding on with both hands tightly, for pain management, perhaps…and his stance itself seems strange to me because Zach’s usually very straight or angular in his movements/body language. 

Here it’s like he’s curling in on himself, almost trying to get into something of a minor fetal position (I can’t speak for everyone, but again this is something I do/people I know do when cramps are bad because it does bring relief). 

So, maybe I’m overthinking this situation, but from my experience, and from his unique behavior in this episode, I just think Zach was having a horrific cycle. And yeah, that’s it, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. 

And again, if anyone is hurt by this, please let me know, it is not my intention to cause pain to anyone with this post. I may not personally headcanon Zach as trans, but if he is trans or others headcanon him as trans, I feel like this episode and his actions support this argument/headcanon. 

[eldritchtouched]

Regarding the consort stuff, there's... some truly awful implications for meta stuff with regard to queer characters.

The whole premise of the Miquella/Radahn stuff and the plan and how Mohg ties into it is terrible on a meta level.

As in "bury your gays" (Mohg and Trina) meets "queers are evil and force themselves onto others and ruin others" (Miquella and Malenia) meets "queers are pedophiles" (Radahn). The trifecta of shitty queer media representation!

Mind you, when I'm talking about pedophilia in the story, I'm not talking about the memeing about Mohg and the situation with Miquella's curse in the fandom for two years. You know, the memeing that happened back when in the base game's implications of how Miquella's curse worked being "adult mind, cursed body." (SotE now flip-flops with his curse in some weird ways, so it's now hard to tell what the intended reading is. His planning requires an adult mind for a decent chunk of it for all the logistics and the seduction and the way in which he is cruel is very adult, but other parts of it only makes sense somewhat if his curse includes that he's got a child mind, not just a child body.)

Because this is so over the top in how bad what Miquella's plan entails and makes literally all the other characters involved other than Mohg awful in a way that feels.... out of place in how over the top bad it it? We don't get this with, like, Godrick and his grafting, where he just kills people and pastes limbs onto himself. It feels out of place grizzly for the sake of being dark and edgy. Like "Zach Snyder looking at the base game and GoT and writing the edgiest shit he could" kind of edgy.

Because the premise of Miquella's plan is that Miquella, a queer femme man, wants to force Radahn into getting gay married when he didn't want to.

Radahn is now possibly a queer pedophile. The timeline stuff of other items and the base game's timeline implies that Miquella was actually a child when Radahn promised to marry him. But Radahn was an an adult before Miquella would've been born- his helm implies he was an adult when he met Godfrey, as does the stuff with Gaius and Messmer that show up in the DLC, as does Miquella's envisioning of Radahn as a young adult. But the implication of the vow is that Radahn was on board with promising to marry an actual child, but once the child is probably (?) an adult who just looks young, only then does Radahn back out.

To do his plan, Miquella then seduces and uses another queer man (Mohg) who is a fantasy racial minority in-universe (hornsent), and then gets him killed, and then uses this minority man's body as a corpse puppet to make hornsent equivalent of blackface/yellowface/redface while removing most of his features to make his body look like a human. So he can stuff the pedophile who doesn't want to get gay married's soul into that corpse puppet of the guy he got killed and have him as his husband.

This desecration and use and abuse of Mohg isn't focused on at all by anyone except Ansbach (who followed Mohg prior to being enchanted), who wants Mohg to at least have some dignity in death after what Miquella did to him. Most people will likely miss this aspect with Ansbach, though- most players will assume that Mohg's follower is the backstabber of the group purely through aesthetics and miss the quest. Ansbach's quest is optional, despite being the only thing that ties together everything and presents actual stakes for the broader narrative about what Miquella is doing.

Meanwhile, Trina is Miquella's other half (making them bigender/genderfluid/NB akin to Marika/Radagon?) and Miquella tossed her aside. She's now a sleeping flower lady with a broken spine who tells us to kill Miquella and is functionally dead.

And now Malenia, a disabled woman implied to be queer, is in on and totally okay with Miquella's seduction/betrayal/double murder/double rape/hornsent-face/necrophilia plans. As in, she tries to kill Radahn specifically to force his soul to the Land of Shadow so Miquella can force him into the consortship. She also knows Mohg took Miquella- she wasn't at all worried about where Miquella went for so long- meaning she's complicit in the horrific situation with Mohg.

This is so over the top that I feel like I'm going nuts.

Like, it isn't even a case of "well, FromSoft kills all their characters!" Because this is so... grotesque, and the story is dependent on the idea of a queer guy whose whole thing is using and abusing others' in a relationship context.

[iminlovewithpercyjackson]

CHRISTMAS IN RAENOVA

for the 2024 inklings christmas challenge // part of the bellaterra series

After Holly, Seth, Naomi, and Zach are magically transported into the realm of Raenova to help the kingdom of Akelyra win a war against a witch and her kingdom, their lives have been busy. But they’re not too busy to miss home, and they’re certainly not too busy to miss Christmas on Earth. Luckily, there’s someone else who understands, and he’s going to make sure that the kids don't miss out, even if Christmas doesn't exist in Raenova.

@inklings-challenge

read on my website

It had only been a couple of weeks since Holly had crossed through that doorway in the woods back home. In those couple of weeks, though, Holly and the others ― her best friend, Seth, his sister, Naomi, and a friend of Holly’s sister’s, Zach ― had found themselves trapped in this realm, were introduced to a king and queen, told that they were going to develop special magical abilities to help them in battle, told that they had been brought here by the Maker ― God ― to help fight a war against a neighboring kingdom, and had met an older man called James, who had been brought here under similar circumstances many years ago with his own friends, including Holly’s grandmother. It had only been a couple of weeks, but a lot had happened.

Early one afternoon, fresh from a rinse off after a long morning of training followed immediately by the noon meal, Holly emerged from her bedroom, clean and with a clean dress on, and flopped onto the couch in their sitting room. A perk of their special position was that not only did they get to live in a castle, they had their own set of rooms. There were separate bedrooms with balconies, and a kitchen, sitting room, and library made up the rest of their expansive chambers, with the training area just across the hallway outside for easy access.

Her head landed in a pillow face down, and she promptly wrapped her arms around it, turning her head to face the middle of the room. Her knees landed on the couch, and then she let her stocking-covered feet land in Seth’s lap. He patted her leg absently, his focus on the book he was reading, his torso twisted toward the arm of the couch where he had the book propped.

“I miss home,” Holly said.

“Me too,” said Zach, and Holly turned to see him sitting in one of the chairs on the other end of the room. She hadn't noticed him at first.

“Yeah, so do I,” Seth said. “Our first Christmas away from our families isn't supposed to be until after college. But here we are.”

“We can't even call them,” Holly complained. “And they don't celebrate Christmas here. No presents for us.”

“None of the fun food, either,” Zach pointed out.

Naomi came out of her room, braiding her long hair. “What are we talking about?” she asked them.

“The fact that we don't have a Christmas here,” Seth said. “And that we miss home.”

Naomi nodded. “I wonder what’s going on at home. I hope some magic makes them not know that we’re gone. I wouldn't want them to be stuck panicking that we’re not there, you know? We’ve been gone for a while now.”

Holly shrugged. “I don't know. Has anyone asked James that?”

“I did,” Seth said. “He doesn't know. He never went back, remember?”

Holly groaned.

“I wonder if we could get Christmas off from training,” Zach suggested hopefully.

Naomi laughed at him. “With Ailan? Or Liria? There’s no way.”

Naomi was very likely correct about that. The king and queen were typically hard on the four of them, not out of any sort of cruelty at all but out of a need to get the kids up to speed on fighting techniques so that they were prepared for the coming war. Holly understood. All the kids did. That didn't mean that they didn't still long for their weekends spent sleeping in. Seth had even mentioned missing school, but that was a sentiment that none of the other kids shared in the slightest.

Sighing, Zach leaned back in his chair. “You're right.” He got to his feet and picked up the fire poker, nudging the logs in the fireplace with it. The flames leaped higher, and they crackled as Zach messed with it. He dropped to the ground, laying out on his back, kicking his feet out in front of him and tucking his hands under his head. After a second, he sat back up again.

Anticipating his question, Holly grabbed for the pillow squeezed between the couch back and her hip. She flung it toward Zach, and he caught it with deft hands and a quick grin, laying back on the ground with the pillow tucked under his head.

“Thanks,” he said.

She nodded sleepily, rolling back onto her side and adjusting the pillow under her own head. Then she sighed. “I just wish we could have at least gotten to go home for Christmas. This Maker can open up that doorway anytime He wants, right? Why can't we visit?”

“I'm sure he knows that at least some of us wouldn't come back,” Seth told her, patting her leg again as he flipped the page of his book with his other hand.

Holly scowled. “I’d come back. Promise.”

Of course, though, nothing happened.

But a few days later, when Holly woke up to the sun streaming in from her windows and the glass balcony doors, she heard chattering outside of her room. Chatter was usual for their little group ― she, Seth, and Naomi had all been friends already upon arrival, and though she’d had her misgivings about Zach at first, he fit in well with everyone. Chatter this early in the morning, though, was not usual. Everyone tended to move sluggishly through pulling on their clothes and fixing their hair and grabbing a bite to eat before they all headed out to the training area.

Then Holly spotted the sun in the sky outside of the windows, much higher than it normally was when she woke up for training. She frowned at it for a moment, and then her eyes flew wide open. She leapt out of bed, tearing off her nightgown. Reaching for her training clothes ― the pair of gray trousers and tightly fitted gray shirt ― she yanked them on hurriedly, then shoved her boots onto her feet. Then, pushing open her door, she headed out of her room to go and grab her sword, then paused.

Seth and Zach were both sitting on the couch, laughing. Across from them was James, the old man who had once been a Raenovan warrior from Earth as well. His wife, Laia, sat in the chair beside him.

“Holland!” James smiled at her. “Good morning, child. Come and sit.”

She did so slowly, taking her spot squished between the two boys. “Aren't we late for training?” she asked.

“James got us the day off!” Zach exclaimed. “Ailan and Liria actually let us have the day off! Can you believe it?” he added, laughing.

“Nope,” Holly replied, a grin stretching across her face. “No way. We really have the day off?”

“Yes,” James said. “Merry Christmas, Holland.”

“It’s Christmas!” Holly stared at him, blinking. Then she smiled. “Merry Christmas, James. Merry Christmas, Seth, Zach.”

“Merry Christmas!” the boys chorused.

Naomi joined them shortly thereafter, and soon the sitting room was full of happy laughter and loud conversations.

A knock at the door interrupted them, and Laia opened it to find a couple of servants carrying several large bundles. She directed them to the kitchen, and after depositing their packages, the servants disappeared again. Laia ordered them all into the kids’ spacious kitchen. Sitting on the island table in the middle was a large ham, several kinds of vegetables, and various ingredients that Holly knew were all for baking.

“This is all for our Christmas dinner,” Laia told them with a kind smile. “Come and help!”

The four teenagers and James promptly filed into the kitchen, passing recipes around until everyone had something to do. Laia took the lead on their ham, and soon that was cooking. Holly was put in charge of the dessert, some chocolatey concoction she’d never heard of before but that sounded close enough to a cake she was sure she could figure it out. Seth and Naomi, neither of them very good cooks, were set in charge of washing dishes and cutting vegetables. Zach took the vegetables and started assembling them into their respective dishes. James went to work on making rolls from the other ingredients.

Even with the six of them, it took a long time to get all of the food made and ready, but eventually, everything was done. Holly’s not-a-cake was the lone item remaining in the kitchen as they carried everything else into the kids’ dining room, placing it out onto the table that Naomi had set up earlier. Then everyone took their seats ― James and Laia at the head and foot of the table with Seth and Naomi on one side, Holly across from Seth, and Zach seated beside her ― and they began to eat.

“Did you have Christmas here with Holly’s grandma and the rest of them?” Naomi asked James.

James nodded. “We did something just like this every year we could. Sometimes we were in the middle of a battle or in another kingdom and we couldn't, but yes, we did. We would make a big Christmas dinner and have a whole feast together, just like this. Holly, your grandmother was always the one in charge of our dessert. We never trusted anyone else to make it. Sometimes our friends would come, too, and we would tell them about Christmas back home. Sometimes it was just us, and that was no less fun.”

“What did you do at your Christmases at home?” Holly asked. “What was your favorite tradition?”

“My family made ornaments together a week before Christmas,” James said. “Just little things to hang up. We would all make one that represented another person in my family, and then we would hang them up. When Christmas was over, we kept the ornament that represented us. I had quite the collection,” he said, and his smile was fond and wistful and a little sad as he thought of the family he hadn't seen in decades.

“What do you children do?” Laia asked.

“My family likes to drive around and go look at all of the lights people have put up,” Naomi said. To Laia, she explained, “People will decorate their homes for Christmas, both inside and outside, and the outside usually has these strings of lights all over. They’re really pretty. I love to see them. Sometimes we make it a competition to see which of the houses has the best lights.”

“Oh, I love doing that,” Seth said. “My favorite of our Christmas traditions is that we decorate our tree and put up our lights outside all together, always the day after Thanksgiving. My mom decorates the tree with me, and Naomi and my dad set up everything else inside. Then we all go outside and put up the lights. Dad and I put up the ones you need ladders for. Mom tells us where to move them so they look nice.”

Holly laughed at that. “So that’s why your house always looks nice!”

Seth stuck his tongue out at her.

“When I was little, my grandma always made our desserts,” Holly said. “I guess just like she did here. But as I got a little bit older, my sister and I got to help. We had a truce every year to stop fighting just that day so we could help my grandma make a whole bunch of batches of Christmas cookies, and then we would have a truce on Christmas when we helped her make our Christmas cake. After that, it was back to fighting,” she said with a little laugh, shaking away thoughts of her sister, “but not those days. We still help out with the baking now, and sometimes, my little brother helps, too. My sister said that whenever she has kids, she’s going to stick them with us so that they learn to bake.”

Seth laughed. “No one else in her family can bake,” he told everyone else. “Just Holly and her grandma. Her sister and her brother help, but they can't bake on their own.”

James laughed. “Your poor grandmother. I suppose your family members must have gotten your grandfather’s baking skills. He was hopeless in the kitchen.”

“Well, being a prince and all,” Holly said, laughing, “I suppose he never learned. And especially not with the fancy ovens we have at home.”

“No, I imagine that would be confusing,” James chuckled.

“I’m pretty hopeless in the kitchen, too,” Zach said, “at least when it comes to baking. But my mom always made a big breakfast for Christmas morning. We’d wake up smelling it, and then we would open presents really, really quickly while her cinnamon rolls finished baking. Then we’d all eat together. It was nice.”

“It was all so nice.” Seth frowned. “I do wish we could go home.”

“Me too,” Naomi said, and Holly nodded her assent.

“I wish you could as well,” James told them.

Laia brought out Holly’s not-a-cake shortly after that, and she quickly and deftly cut into it, passing pieces around to each of them. Holly was more than satisfied with the taste of it. They all ate their pieces, and then they sat around the sitting room, Naomi sprawled out on one of the couches, Holly squished between the boys on the other couch, and James and Laia in the chairs, quietly enjoying all being together in the warm room of the castle.

Finally, as the clock chimed nine, James rose. “It’s our bedtime, now, I think. Laia and I will be off. You kids should get to bed soon; you don't have a day off tomorrow.”

Holly and Zach groaned, and James laughed.

“You'll be thankful for this one day,” he told them. “Before I leave, may I pray over you all?”

Seth nodded, standing up and moving to the center of the room. Laia, standing beside her husband, reached for Seth’s hand. James extended his hand to Naomi, who reached for Zach’s hand as Seth reached for Holly’s. Then Holly and Zach joined hands, completing the circle.

Holly glanced around the circle awkwardly. She’d never liked prayer time when her grandma or her aunts or uncles insisted on it, and she had always been thankful that her own parents never prayed. Seth’s family did, though, and though Naomi wasn't big on it, either, Seth was. He’d never made her feel awkward about it or forced her to participate, but just being around it always made her feel a little bit off.

She’d never expected religion to be a thing in a world like this, and even when James had prayed over them the first time he’d met them, she’d assumed that was just something that had carried over from his childhood on earth. But she was wrong. Though churches weren't a thing here, everyone, at least in Akelyra, from the king and queen down to the peasants in the nearby town, worshipped a Maker. James had told them that this was what the Raenovans called God.

“Maker,” James said, his head lifted up, “we thank You for Your many blessings this year. We thank You for sheltering our home. We thank You for bringing these young men and women here to aid us in our time of need. We ask that You would continue to bless and shelter and protect us throughout this war.”

As James continued, Holly stood there with her eyes closed, her hands held tightly by the two boys. She wondered how she had come to be here. She wondered if the craziest part of this entire adventure was that she was in this strange, fantastical, magical world or if it was that she was standing here listening to someone pray and thinking, for the very first time, that he might possibly be right, that her grandma might be right, that Seth might be right.

After all, this magical world existed. Who was she to say that a God ― or a Maker ― might also exist? Maybe He did.

[dreamersbcll]

I think you should write something about little Sam and toddler Tara. Something cute. NO SADNESS. ONLY GOOD AND WHOLESOME.

“Pastelitos de Guayaba”

for my one and only @krikeymate . much love <3

—————————————————————————-

Sam associated people with scent. Not how they touched her or what they gave her, but rather the smell that she could lock away in her head. When troubled or stressed, she could disappear and remember how specific memories smelled.

Mindy and Chad smelled like the Fourth of July. Every holiday they went to the beaches of Santa Monica and ran through the waves and kicked up sand. Though Sam was the eldest at the ripe age of eleven, she still thoroughly enjoyed diving into the ocean with them.

Her best friend, Zach, smelled like a pumpkin patch on a sunny day. The two got to know each other by picking pumpkins and eating all the apples at the orchards. Both got violently sick after, but Sam would never forget how he smiled in the autumn sunlight and threw leaves on her hair.

But perhaps her favorite scent was Tara. There were many memories to pick from with her baby sister, from the day she came home smelling brand-new to her fourth birthday when she got ice cream in both girls’ hair. Sam particularly liked the memory of napping with Tara and how her baby sister always smelled like lavender and peaches.

Sam always knew her baby sister was magic, and the sweet-smelling memories they shared only proved her point. Her baby sister was the sun that rose in the morning and the moon that glowed as it shone in the night. Tara was the best that Sam would ever have or know.

However, Sam would be biased if she didn’t say that she had a favorite scent that she associated with Tara. Her favorite memory, so far, would be the night Sam taught her baby sister how to make pastelitos.

—-

Her little girl was very clumsy on her feet and often fell off chairs she was sitting still on. Sam got a stool for Tara to stand on, and she stood right behind her baby sister to ensure she was protected.

There wasn’t much that their parents did right, but at least they always kept a tin of pasta de guayaba on hand- or, as Tara called it, pegamento de guayaba. That and some flour and other ingredients, and Sam could always cheer her little girl up.

(Guava paste, guava glue)

She waited until Tara came home from school with a frown. It wasn’t unlike her little six-year-old to be frowning, but this one was deeper. After some coaxing, Sam finally got Tara to reveal that Amber pushed her down at recess.

That settled it. It was time to make their favorite dessert. It wasn’t ice cream or cookies- it was a Cuban pastry with guava and sometimes cheese. It reminded Sam of simpler times- when their Mami didn’t drink so much and when their papi was around. Tara just enjoyed it because it was sweet and made Sam smile.

The two set off, making the dough and kneading it together. Sam gushed over Tara's little cheeks, powdered with flour, and smeared some on her face so her baby sister didn’t feel alone. Four hands kneaded dough, one pair actually kneading, and the other chubby pair just punching the dough.

“Muy bien, nena. Ahora los colocas así,” Sam softly said, guiding Tara’s hands to lay the pastries on the baking sheet.

(Alright, baby. Now you place them like this)

Tara finally set all eight on the tray- they lost two in transport- and turned around to face Sam, pigtails flopping in front of her toothless grin.

“¡Mira, Sammy! ¡Lo he conseguido! ¡Igual que tú!”

Tara squealed happily, hugging Sam with her sticky and flour-filled hands.

(Look, Sammy! I did it! Just like you!)

Sam laughed, bending down to kiss Tara on the forehead. Her sister clung to her middle, giggling as Sam worked around her. Breaking open the tin, Sam carefully pried Tara off of her, handing her a spoon. She then helped Tara place the paste onto the pastry, gently correcting her when she put too much on.

Finally, the pair finished; Tara was so excited that she nearly smashed the pastries with her flapping hands. Turning around to place it in the oven, she showed Tara what rack to put it on and how to set a timer.

The two settled in front of the oven, watching their pastries bake, Tara in Sam’s lap and Sam’s arms around her middle.

“Te quiero mi cielo. Lo eres todo para mí,” she whispered, her lips ghosting Tara’s ear.

(I love you, my sky. You are everything to me)

Tara shivered from her words, leaning into Sam’s embrace. The pair sat like that for seven minutes, soaking in each other's company and the scent of a baking pastry wafting through their empty home.

Sam would always associate the smell of fresh pastries and flour, reminding her of her girl for as long as she would live.

[burnedxpoet]

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

TW: consumption of drxgs, smoking, talk of sex

Read it on ao3

Thirteen.

I hadn’t been off my farm for a couple days. The only reason I would leave would be to buy seeds or go forage in the forest. I couldn’t get my mind off of my sister but we called everyday when she got out of school but the phone call would only last during her walk home, she’s afraid of what Dad might say if he knew she was talking to me. I’m collecting eggs from my chickens and ducks in my coop when the door swings open and startles me, making me drop one of the eggs.

“Shit!” I hissed and looked down at the broken and runny egg.

“Where the fuck have you been?” I hear Sam’s voice echo throughout the coop.

“Fucker, you made me drop an egg,” I say while picking up the shell. 

“Are you good, dude? You and Seb disappeared from the venue that night and I haven’t heard from you since!” Sam exclaimed while taking a rag off the wall of the coop and helping me clean up the broken egg. I guess I did owe him an explanation since he is my closest friend in the valley. I told him what happened as we made our way to the farm house. He didn’t say much, only listened. I told him how the last song on his set really hit home and it felt surreal when my sister showed up.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Sam says as we enter the farm house. I set the basket of eggs on the counter and shush him.

“I love the song, Sam,” I say, “and it’s comforting to know that there are other people in the valley that have felt what I feel… It just broke my heart to see that my sister is seeing our Dad for who he is. I hoped that he would be better for her.” I flop down on my couch in distraught and run my hands down my face. Sam, who’s still in my kitchen, stares at me for a while before turning quickly on his heel to my bedroom. I’m shocked by his sudden movements but am too exhausted and overwrought to get up. I hear him rifle through something in my bedroom and a couple minutes later he comes out with my backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Jesus christ this thing is heavy,” he says and sets it down on the kitchen table.

“What are you doing?” I ask while sitting up a little. 

“You’re coming to the sleepover,” he says, “you don’t have a choice. I’ve packed everything for you, except for your undies ‘cause I don’t wanna rifle through that drawer.” I laugh as he rambles and I get up from the couch. I take my backpack from him and empty some of the things in there like my coal, ore, and fiber. I grab a quick pair of panties from my dresser and stuff it into my backpack. 

“You better have not picked a whack ass outfit for tomorrow,” I say to Sam as I pet Miso goodbye and we walk out the door. We took the shortcut up the mountain to Sebastian’s house. “You do sleepovers at Seb’s pretty often?” I ask. 

“Yea since we were kids. Seb has the most privacy and space and Robin isn’t like mine or Abby’s moms, always checking in on us,” Sam says as we pass by the bus stop. 

“What do you do at the sleepovers?” I ask, looking down at my boots as we walk.

“Oh, Farmer, don’t tell me you’ve never had a sleepover before?” Sam asks and I look up at him and on his face is a shit-eating grin. Yoba, he sees right through me. I blush.

“Hey man, with a dead mom and a dad who hates you, you end up being the weird kid,” I say, “besides from my roommates in college, I’ve never had a sleepover.” Sam shakes his head from side to side. “My sister would get invited to a ton.”

“Well, we will sometimes play Solarian chronicles, watch movies, play video games, listen to music, we talk… As soon we all became adults we added weed and alcohol into the mix,” Sam says. 

“It sounds like fun,” I say, “do you all sleep in the same bed?” I ask. Sam shakes his head.

“Abby takes Seb’s bed and Seb and I sleep on his pull-out couch. But now you’re here, so you can take the bed with Abby.” The only other person, besides a one night stand, that I’ve ever shared a bed with was my sister and that was when we were little. I hoped and prayed that my nightmares wouldn’t be bad tonight. After the gig in the city, my nightmares became frequent again and I’ve started remembering bits and pieces. They’re not as clear as the one about the car accident but I know they’re about Brynne. I’ve been thinking about telehealthing my therapist but the more I think about it, I highly doubt Dad has kept me on his insurance and getting insurance as a self-employed person has been hard. I’ve been trying to have better coping mechanisms but in doing so I’ve relapsed on cigarettes. Alex and I chat once a week and my fill-the-void lust feelings have been low but my lungs were not happy with me. I would be embarrassed if I woke up the three of them at the sleepover because I couldn’t get my childish nightmares under control. 

We show up at the house in the woods and walk through the front door. We say hi to Robin as she finishes up some paperwork at her desk and tread downstairs to where Sebastian’s room is. Abby’s already down there, laying upside down on the couch while Sebastian works on his computer.

“Seb keeps saying one more line but then does like twenty more! Sam, pull him out of it!” Abby whines when she sees us. I look over at Sebastian and his eyes run across his computer screen over and over again. I sit down next to Abby and she moves her body to the side so that her legs rested on my lap and her head near the arm of the couch. “Hey girl, I haven’t seen you in forever! I need my fill of farmer gossip. Are you still hooking up with Alex?” she asks. Sebastian’s head snaps up and his candy colored eyes look into mine.

“What?”

“So that’s what gets you to look up from your computer?” Sam sighs and throws his backpack down.

“It’s been a couple months,” I say, “we decided we’re better as friends.” Sebastian exhales then goes back to his work.

“What the fuck!” Sam yells at him.

“You told me you used to fuck around in college?” Abby asks. I nod. Her questions are genuine and strictly girl talk and it’s what I love about Abby. There’s no ulterior motive, she just genuinely wants to have more girl friends and they’re hard to come around in the valley. “You know who else used to fuck around?” She holds her hand up near her face and points in Sebastian’s direction.

“I can hear you, you know,” Sebastian says and then gets up from his computer.

“Finally!” Sam exclaimed while digging in his backpack. “I brought an indica, sativa, and a hybrid. I also brought my extended pack for solarian and Mario Kart, and a couple frozen pizzas,” he says while taking each thing out of his bag. Sebastian gets off his computer and pulls down a sheet and sets it up on the wall opposite of his bed and sets up a projector.

We watched movies, played Solarian, talked, and smoked weed. The only time I stepped out was to accept a phone call from my sister. It was short and quick and I mentioned I was hanging out with friends. Her praise for me making new friends warmed my heart. As I was walking inside, Robin came pounding down the stairs from her room. She’s holding an old photo album.

“There you are!” she says, “I have to show you these photos of Sebby when he was a kid.” She shows me a photo of him with spaghetti on his head, him with a stuffed Jumino, him holding baby Maru, all the classic baby photos. My heart swells when I look at his chubby cheeks. I’ve never been one for kids but I always loved baby pictures of my friends. 

“He’s so adorable,” I say while pointing to a picture of him, Sam, and Abby when they were kids. The basement door opens and Sebastian comes upstairs.

“Absolutely not,” he says while grabbing my wrist. His movements are aggressive but his grip on me is surprisingly gentle. 

“Aw c’mon,” I say as he drags me down the stairs, “you were so cute.” He shakes his head back and forth. 

“What are you saying I’m not cute now?” he quips as he opens the door. Abby with her second-hand high is curled up on Sebastian’s bed watching the projector and Sam’s in the bathroom. I laugh to try and calm down my pounding heart and hide the blush from my face

“Hmm… You’re pretty cute,” I say, “but your chubby cheeks and ginger hair take the cake.” He nudges me in the shoulder and we sit back down with Abby who’s watching Three From Hell. Sam comes out of the bathroom and sits on the bed with us, Smushing me between Sebastian and Abby. Sebastian drapes his arm over my shoulder to get more comfortable and I hook one of my legs over Abby’s as Sam lights up another joint. 

###

I’m jolted awake by whatever dream I was having. My breathing is heavy and small beads of sweat coat my hairline on my forehead. Abby’s still crashed out next to me and I think I see Sam on the pullout bed still asleep. My hands shake as I rip the covers off of me and get up. I dug in my backpack for the pack of cigarettes I had bought at Joja. They were the most disgusting cigarettes I’v ever smoked but they’re the only thing around. Once I secure my pack and lighter and make my way towards the lake. The cold fall air sent a chill down my spine and I wrapped my hoodie around my body tighter. A tall silhouette stands near the lake as well and I can only assume it’s my formerly ginger friend. I stand next to him and light my cigarette. He jumps a bit but realizes it’s just me.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks. I take a long inhale and sigh out the smoke. 

“I assume you can’t either,” I say and take a seat at the edge of the water.

“Never can,” he says and follows my lead by sitting down next to me. We sit in silence for a moment and chain smoke before I break the silence.

“So… you used to sleep around?” He laughs and shakes his head.

“I was wondering the same thing about you,” he says, “Yea, I did. There were a couple of forums online I used to frequent when I was eighteen. Mainly married couples looking for someone to cuck the husbands. Some turned into affairs, others were strictly for fun… I stopped when I was twenty-three after having a really weird situationship with a married woman,” he takes a long drag of his cigarette, “Sam and Abby only know about the cucking. Not the affairs.”

“You lose your virginity to a married woman?” I ask teasingly. He shakes his head.

“Nah. Lost it to Haley when we were fourteen. We’re still friendly, she told me later on that I helped her come to terms with her being gay so I guess it was for the better,” he says, “don’t mention anything though, I’m not sure how out she is.” I wouldn’t have pegged Haley as gay but it made sense. 

“They used to call me the ‘man maker’ in college,” I say, “as I’m sure you’ve figured out I have a guilty pleasure for gridball players and by the time I was a sophomore I had gone through everyone on the team that liked women. I started hooking up with the freshmen and then they started sending their friends who were virgins to me. I didn’t know they were calling me that until I became friends with one of them.”

“Did you lose your virginity in college?”

“Nah, I was sixteen. I was too young, honestly. I should’ve waited,” I said. Sebastian nods his head. 

“I should’ve too.” We’re silent again for a second but this time he’s the one to break it. 

“So… You’ve hooked up with Alex?” he asked. I nod and light another cigarette. 

“Was filling the void. I think he was too.”

“And this was around that time you had the dream about the crash?” he asks me and tosses the filter aside.

“You remember that?”

“I remember everything.” He lays down and looks up at the stars. I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

“Do you have trouble sleeping often?” I ask him. He sighs.

“Yea. Not sure why. I do stay up late for work, a lot of my clients are overseas so the deadlines are in the middle of the night…But ever since I was a kid I’ve never been a very good sleeper. I’m sure my mom has permanent bags under her eyes,” he says, “I assume your restlessness started after your mom passed?”

“Yes but it wasn’t just because of the nightmares. Dad took up drinking and would be up all night,” I say and lay back next to him. The stars were beautiful and clear, not like how they are in the city. The light pollution downs them out so much you can barely make out the big dipper. “Do you see any constellations?” I ask Sebastian. The only ones I could point out were the big and little dippers. I didn’t do much stargazing and I regret not asking Grandpa more about it. 

“Um, let's see,” Sebastian says. He looks around the sky and then eventually points. “That one’s Orion.” I scoot closer to him so I can properly see what he’s pointing at.

“The rectangle?” I ask.

“Yea! The three stars in the middle are his belt… Over there is Pisces.” He points a little further west from Orion. I squint and try to follow his finger.

“The alligator mouth?”

“Uh huh. It looks like two fish tied together, right?”

“I think I can see that,” I say and squint a little harder.

“It’s supposed to be her and her sons, Eros and Cupid,” says Sebastian. He puts his arm down. I shiver a bit as a gust of wind blows over us. As if he knew, he wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his chest. My heart starts slamming into my chest and I can’t control it. I know he can feel it, there’s no hiding it. I shiver again but not from the cold. “I’ve always been fascinated with Aphrodite. When I was hooking up with older women and getting into situationships and getting my heart shattered, I wondered if she was watching over me,” he continues. I want to look up at him but I can’t tear my eyes away from Pisces. I always thought that Aphrodite had abandoned me long ago. 

“But isn’t she the Goddess of love, not heartbreak?” I ask. He gives me a squeeze and my breath gets caught in my throat.

“As much as it hurt, I figured she had a plan. Accepting those thoughts helped me separate myself from that part of my life,” he says and moves onto his side to face me. I want to look at him but my body won’t let me. This is the moment I’ve thought about over and over and my body can’t bring itself to pull through. I feel Sebastain’s finger slip under my chin. “After all,” his finger pushes my chin up so that I’m looking at him. His dusky eyes are sparkling in the moonlight and it takes every brain cell I can muster to not get lost in them, “ending that part of myself has brought me here, hasn’t it?” I want to tell him that I know exactly what he means, how I’ve never felt more accepted and understood by a person until meeting him, but his finger and thumb hold my jaw and he gently squeezes my cheeks as our lips lock.

[thevioletvarmint]

When It’s That Time Of The Month

Violet *saunters out of the walk-in closet in Zach’s master bedroom in some spicy lingerie and flops down on Zach’s bed, she grumbles*: “Make it start.”

Zach *shocked and flustered from how she looks, utterly confused by her request*: “Uhhh, what? Make what start?”

Violet *slamming her hands against the mattress, whining and writhing in discomfort*: “Just make it start! It won’t start and it’s hurting, I just want it to start so I’ll get it over with!”

Zach *sitting down beside her, trying not to look anywhere but her face*: “Vi I wanna help you, but I can’t if you don’t tell me…”

Violet *cuts him off, sitting up abruptly, clutching her bare stomach, still whining, nearly in tears*: “My period won’t start, I’m cramping, I’m nauseous, I’m in pain, but nothing is happening…I need you to make it start.”

Zach *still confused, cupping her face in his hands to soothe her*: “But, Vi, how can I…”

Violet *motions to her outfit or rather lack thereof*: “Zach…I…NEED YOU…to make it start…”

Zach *pulling his hands away as if they are on fire, he’s blushing redder than a tomato*: “Oh…OH…oh boy…yeah…I can do that, *he starts grinning from ear to ear* “I can definitely do that…” *he purs*

Violet: *spreading her hands wide, flopping back into the pillows* “well, take it away my greatness.”

2 Hours Later

Zach’s passed out in bed, hair a disheveled mess, very much unclothed, snoring. Violet returns from the bathroom, dressed in pajamas with a heating pad in tow. She gets into bed, waking him up.

Zach *sit up disoriented and wiping drool from his face*: “Wha-? Huh? What’s going on? Vi, are you okay?”

Violet *lays down with the heating pad on her stomach*: “I’m horrible, thanks for asking, but your hard work paid off, good job.”

Zach *lays back down beside her, observing her for a few seconds*: “uhhh so…you got it?”

Violet *kissing his cheek*: “mhm, thanks.”

Zach *rolls over onto his back blushing*: “any-anytime…”

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #21

21. AUSTRALIA Electric Fields - "One Milkali" 27th place

Decade Ranking: 74/153 [Above wrs, below TBA]

We're on a gravitron as it tangles through them billions, illions of arseholes and angels. 💋 -- Michael Ross.

I'll open by pointing out that Zach's dress reminds me of those sail-backed tetrapods all mammals have descended from:

BorisBubbles.tumblr.com satisfying your autism AND paleontology fixes since 2017.

On other news, I'm happy to report I've never bought into the "Electric Fields Are Shock Qualifiers" hype. They had a song nobody cared about upon release, to represent a country nobody particularly wants in Eurovision. I'm AMAZED they almost floated into the semi over Serbia.

My personal feelings on the song are quite mixed, mostly because I always recognised "One Milkali" as both a televote flop and a missed opportunity. I always love when countries inject their music traditions into the entries they send to Eurovision, but in "Australia's "One Milkali'"'s case it was a fairly sloppy fusion. The soundtrack opens via Nokia ringtone before it explodes into a digital fart and segues into a generic, catchy EDM track that is in a constant state of competition with it's own background didgeridoo.

On top of that comes a libretto that, using a lot of confusing metaphors and dated pop culture references that border on nonsense, express a utopian vision of Universal Kinship that most people know to be factually untrue. None of us value life equally. I know SOME people find that offensive because they delude themselves into thinking they're good people, so allow me to demonstrate;

IMAGINE your least favourite famous person in the world; a politician or businessman or musician or actor, or writer of certain wizarding novels. Someone you strongly dislike and don't necessarily want dead, but say you'd would be very pleased if this person had chosen to be an accountant over their actual profession, obsessing over NUMBERS rather than their current trade. Now compare THAT person to your favourite people in the world: your parents,siblings, other halves, friends, pets, children (lol this is tumblr - exactly three of you will spawn offspring, the rest of you will grow old with two cats named after fictional characters such as "Khaleesi" and "Deban Aderemi".) You cannot put this person on the same level as them. You will not value this person's life AS much as you value your loved-one's lives, and that's perfectly normal human behaviour. We hold different standards for different people. Anyone who does not is a walking red flag.

With this in mind, you just know that One Milkali would be a hard sell because not many people connect with its intentions, especially now that Eurovision has made a shift towards Tory-ness (💀). It's naive, utopean and out of touch for those that get it and very confusing to those who do not.

I'm making it sound like I dislike Australia, but I actually really like the studio cut (it's better when you don't look). The studio version... well doesn't slap but at least swats? It was a sanitised, tranquilized version of "2000 and Whatever", which I LOVED, and I gave 1M(1B) a few loopings. I, like many people that remembered Electric Fields fondly, and was hoping they would die for Raiven for a live outsell.

Unfortunately, the live of "One Milkali" was not an outsell. If anything it undersold? It was lowkey a tranwreck?

Like, when your top moment of the performance is THE COLOUR PROJECTION AT THE START

(this bit actually ate! pity it happens literally within the opening seconds.)

and the second best moment is a literal ijbol moment when the didgeridoo player (this man is a LIVING DEITY btw) PLAYS HIS INSTRUMENT LIVE RIGHT INTO ZACHARIAAHA'S MIC, DROWINING HIM OUT.

IT'S RAININ' LO- :didge noises:

AND THEN HE HITS HIM WITH IT ON THE HEAD 😂😂😂

Yeah, a few choices were made which were a tad off. The worst one is allowing Michael Ross to vocalize because the man does NOT HAVE A GOOD VOICE. You have three backs, let them sing his bits. Not doing that is the second worst decision. The third worst is poorly mixing those backs in with a very strained Zachariaaha? Also, why are they strutting on the stage like models on a catwalk? Did Aisel have a few on sale from her X My Heart era?

The staging did a few things right - it was colourful, used the space well and had good camerawork. It got the basics right, at least.

It was a sloppy execusion of a clumsily composed song, but, I still enjoyed it overall. "One Milkali" is naive and utopean as fuck, and embraced that vibe and I appreciate that. The Yankunytjatjara bits are great and synergize well with the English. The song was an adequate representation of aborigine culture, hampered mostly by the fact that it didn't go hard enough when it needed to.

It ranks this high because putting it lower makes no sense to me. Unlike Poland, the vocals were acceptable, and the staging was linear and clear. Unlike Moldova, they had a song and a vision and displayed creativity? Unlike Azer and Iceland, Australia managed to fill the stage with some semblance of life and momentum. It still had flaws, but they were easy enough to accept. It makes sense that Aus were the highest NQ in the first semi, as they are on this ranking.

But lmao @ allowing any SF1 NQ to enter my top 20.

THE RANKING.

[daiohficblog]

By the Shoreline, but…

Zach: (while holding William) Oh, big whoop! I still got the tubby baby! Give me the pearl!

Martin: Uhm Zach, you really don’t want to be holding William right now. He’s been eating squid all day.

Chris: Plus, it’s not a good idea to get between a wild animal mom, and her baby.

(William starts to bark)

Zach: What’s the matter, baby seal thingie? You still want your- (notices an female elephant seal flopping to him)

Mrs. Li: (translated from barks) GIVE ME BACK MY SON!!!

Zach: AAAAHHH!!! (Let’s go of William and runs away.)

[seriousfic]

Snyder said, “We got the rights back so we can make if we want it.” Snyder added, “I don’t know what the marketplace is for an incredibly homoerotic, super violent, super sexual movie. But maybe it’s perfect.”

Internet comment section: Ha, I bet this will trigger all the rightoids!

Me: Hmm, doesn't seem like the kind of thing that would appeal to me. I think I'll skip it.

Internet comment section: Nooo... ya gotta be triggered... make a Youtube video...

Me:

Internet comment section: Fine! We're gonna enjoy our gay Zach Snyder movie! And there's nothing you can do to stop us!

Me:

Internet comment section: The gay Zach Snyder movie flopped because of incels like you not supporting it! Are you happy now?

Me: