theblepkat

[theblepkat]

I know. Somehow, I’ve always known.

Carrie Fisher as Leia Organa in The Skywalker Saga (1977 - 2019)

[theblepkat]

今際の国のアリス | ALICE IN BORDERLAND 2020 – dir: Shinsuke Sato

[theblepkat]

I am not trans. I am apparently the enemy of some really aggressive and angry LGBTQ+ activists, because I'm a cisgender, or at least that's what I am told I am. And for many years, probably about 30+ of the 40 years I have been wasting oxygen, I have not thought about the strange feelings I've had. Probably because my understanding of the differences between gender and sexual orientation as well as the spectrum of gender only became more clear in the past 8 years or so. In that time, I believe I am much clearer about both my gender and my orientation. And I guess the term cisgender does fit me. I have the parts, the upbringing, and the identity of a male. Although, if I am to take that label, I guess I'm also forced to also take the lashing and hatred by those angry, angry activists. To their broad and general point, I am technically in the same box as all those closed minded bigots who have historically killed, harmed, bullied, and humiliated the LGBTQ+ community, even if that's not actually me.

Though I am cisgender male, I honesyly find myself attracted to trans women and women alike. I do find the female form highly attractive, which is why I also find even the cisgender women and crossdressers attractive. If I had to pick where I stood in the cross section of the spectrum of sexual orientation, I guess my sexual orientation falls somewhere between being bisexual (I have preference for two of the many genders) and pansexual (Not sure if this is technically correct from my layman understanding). In truth, I find pre-op trans women with feminine features highly arousing. Particularly those who are versatile or prefer being dominant sexually. I realise how stereotypical this description makes me look like a "chaser". But in all honesty, I have harboured this feeling inside for many years, afraid of what my existing life and friends would think of it.

I'm comfortable being a male but I just truthfully find being with a trans woman liberating. Like I am finally being myself. I know this because one day, I put myself to the test. I sourced for a trans woman who was a sex worker. I wanted to know what it would be like to kiss her and make love to her. I would compare it to my earlier experiences with cisgender women. I needed to know for sure if I was just crazy or weird or correct about my own honesty. I'm not going to lie. I wanted to know if I enjoyed sucking on cock and taking cock anally. And I loved doing it as much as I loved taking it. I really do. Maybe because I have a small penis, I felt I needed to pleasure my partner more somehow. So I learned to take very large dildos up my anus. And during that experiment, I learned I liked the feeling very much. My time with that wonderfully cheerful and hardworking and kind trans woman was illuminating. I learned about much more than just myself. I learned about the extremely hard and frightening life they live. If you're reading this and use the services of sex workers, I implore you to be kind and courteous and generous because they risk EVERYTHING for you to feel a little bit better. The extra money you think you pay truthfully isn't enough for the risks they take with their life, their future, and their livelihoods. And that goes double for those sex workers who are persecuted for stupid religious taboos.

But I digress.

During those years learning more about gender and orientation and after my first experience with a real trans woman, I decided to put myself out there. I signed up for trans dating sites and after a few tries, I met a woman. I've been in a relationship with this wonderful, kind, funny, and special woman for over 8 years now. I started falling for her with every new date. In truth, she's not the instagram model everyone admires, but I am no looker myself. Yet, she accepted me and took a chance with me. And I love her in spite of everything she does that drives me nuts.

It's a relationship and it's not perfect. I'm not perfect. And there's lots of things to work on, all the time. It's not just the communication issues, and mood swings, the inability to articulate the right words in the right way with the right approach, it's the other things that all couples have to work through - finances, commitments, debts, work, poor choices, regrets, and family and friends. They all contribute to the daily experience of living with a person. It's also that although sexually, I am versatile, she is entirely passive. While I respect her wishes, I too also have sexual needs. In spite of all this, I love her and try to spoil her as much as I am able to. I don't really expect her to ever respond to my needs. It is infinitely hard for a trans woman to make a decent living in a a country with so many religious hatred ready to make you into a target for their agenda. I don't honestly even know if I can safely support her, especially now. I have long given up the expectation of her ever repaying me or doing something nice for me, although I do wonder from time to time what it would be like. At times, I wonder that and catch myself thinking if her simply being with me isn't already her doing something good for me. I wonder about that and it makes me sad because I wonder if it is possible that I am the problem and my being with her is ruining her life.

[theblepkat]

Bad guys deliver lines better

[theblepkat]

Addams Family Values (1993) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

[theblepkat]

[theblepkat]

[theblepkat]

An owl chilling on a stump 

(via)

[theblepkat]

1 minute and 9 seconds of peak tv content 

[theblepkat]

[theblepkat]

What Really Happened To Abe Lincoln…

[theblepkat]

They weren’t really games, you know. They were training me. Turning me into a weapon “for justice,” they said. They got their weapon. I got cheated out of my childhood.

Justice League Unlimited S02E13 “Epilogue”

[theblepkat]

(Image description: the rainbow, lesbian, genderqueer, nonbinary, aromantic, asexual, bisexual, intersex, transgender, and queer pride flags with the words “the future is queer” centered in white text.)

[theblepkat]

🏳️‍🌈 PLEASE READ 🏳️‍🌈

On June 1st of 2020 (pride month) there will be an operation known as Pridefall. There is so much information about this topic that it's almost hard to include all of it, so I'll explain what's going on briefly. Basically, people that are anti-lgbt are grouping together to spread horrible content online about LGBT+ people being raped, murdered, abused, ect. And other content that involves the Holocaust and people of color. But it's not just videos, memes, and shit posts. These people are also going to dox innocent and suspected (gay or not) people in hopes of harming them in real life. There are chat logs of people talking about creating fake profiles on dating apps to pose as a member of the LGBT+ community and killing, raping, and torturing them. We cannot allow this to happen, so spread the word as much as possible to let people be careful and to hopefully put a stop to this horrific act!

The first pride event were the Stonewall Riots in the late 60's to early 70's and was organized by black transwomen. It was an event where people of all backgrounds banded together against the justice system to have our voices be heard through the act of violence. And unfortunately that was one of the only ways to reach out to America and the world to let everyone know we are indeed people too. While pride these days is more calm and fun, we cannot forget our roots. We need to hold onto our roots to establish our dignity and freedom. Abolish the hatred, spread the love.

#pridewontfall

[theblepkat]

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS 

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS 

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS

[theblepkat]

Watchmen S01E06 “This Extraordinary Being”

[theblepkat]

Rubber (2010) dir. Quentin Dupieux

Plot: A homicidal car tire, discovering it has destructive psionic power, sets its sights on a desert town once a mysterious woman becomes its obsession.