thebreadbin23

[thebreadbin23]

Nobody talks about how difficult it is to be a student w/NPD!!

Hi! I’m bread, I’m a psychology student with both autism and NPD, and I don’t see a lot of traction about how these disorders play into academics, so I’ll start!:

Grandiosity, especially with an autistic’s photographic memory, makes lectures feel “worthless”. I can cover the material at home. Last year, I attended 5 lectures, and passed the year with a 76 (UK student whoop! For those who don’t use the UK grading system, it’s a pretty solid indication of a first). This DIRECTLY feeds into my delusional narrative of “I’m the most capable student here, I’m going to redefine the field of neuroscience” when in reality, I can’t be bothered to sit in a lecture.

Ignoring assignments and coursework to “protect” from an ego hit, causes bad grades, therefore ensuring an ego hit is taken. I often am paralysed by the fear of not doing fantastic work 100% of the time, mainly because this damages my fragile delusion that I have built my entire academic life on. However, this causes my work to often not be submitted, meaning obviously, my grades drop. It’s a viscous cycle.

Other students are “below me”, I haven’t been able to make any friends. When I think about the people on my course, I am absolutely certain that “none of these people have the same drive as me, none of them have the same ability or ambitions”. Automatically, I subconsciously see them as “unworthy” and “wasting my time”. This makes it super hard to make friends.

Stigma, stigma, and more stigma. Whilst autism is slowly loosing its stigma, the same cannot be said for NPD. I’m terrified to even mention how this impacts me truly, I lie to student support and word my issues to seem like they’re just autism, which means I don’t get the correct support. We don’t see a lot of NPD rep in academics (barring the stigmatising, outdated research about us), which makes it hard to even imagine having a career with NPD, let alone in the psychology and neuroscience field. Sometimes I feel like this is for nothing, and I’ll end up like the stereotype says I will.

[thebreadbin23]

Npd culture is classifying entire fandoms as inherently below you and full of annoying idiots youd never willingly interact with

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