themagnusliveblog

[themagnusliveblog]

"what even happens in the magnus archives" Everything Happens In The Magnus Archives. it's all in there. you name something that is in any way scary or unpleasant and it's in there somewhere. if you have a niche phobia or recurring nightmare of any kind, no matter how obscure you may believe it to be, then one day you are going to queue up an episode and listen to the intro music play and then they'll read out the title "episode 42069, catching you in 4k" and recite your own personal worst fear Directly into your ear canals, in exactly the words you would use to describe it. the sixth episode is about exploding worm sex that kills you. and then there are 194 more episodes after that.

[themagnusliveblog]

[themagnusliveblog]

time travel fix-it but make it Spooky (based on my monster!jon post)

[themagnusliveblog]

Surprise! Tumblr just got turned into an epic fantasy RPG, just like [your favorite appropriate media franchise]. And the Tumblr RPG's plot needs to have all of its characters covered, in roles both large and small.

That means that you are assigned to a stereotypical RPG role inside our new fantasy world. Spin this wheel to find out what you are now doing for a living.

[themagnusliveblog]

diversity win! the man who lives across the street and eats his notebooks is gay!

[themagnusliveblog]

MAG 23

Old story - <3 my dearest jonah <3 -i dont know anything about german geography despite my mother being born there -but i recognize the name of the black forest for some reason... maybe brothers grimm related i think? -aww take care of your sick nephew -is snow nice? if youve ever lived somewhere it snows please tell me. i live in texas so... -who lives in the middle of the woods but doesnt have books -i used to do that as a kid. just go into the woods. but i usually didnt come back til i was bleeding at least a little -A GRAVEYARD OUT HERE -sometimes you bury your dead super far away bc theyre CURSED -mausoleums are cool -PEOPLE WATCHING YOU STANDING IN THE DISTANCE IS NOT COOL -peasant german? ew we dont love being classist -PANTSLESS MARTIN LOL -an empty mausoleum is also less cool -AH THATS WHERE ALL THE FOREST BOOKS ARE -ooh, eye-conography (im not funny sorry) -dont steal from the dead guys -little kids come up with the most basic and wildest games -HIS EYES ARE MISSING -the von Closens are the Keay's, I see...

[themagnusliveblog]

MAG 22

ITS CALLED COLONY... like ants? (Sorry i joined the group where we all pretend to be ants on fb) -MARTINS STATEMENT -it sounds like jon doubts the soundness of martins mind tbh -JANE PRENTISS -YOU GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS -this is my ideal episode. -martin like spiders. me too. as i have previously stated: spiders are friends. -a shiny worm? -my idea of martin has changed so he is now thicc -*insert the climbing class scene from until dawn* -jon hates spooky the way other people hate moist confirmed -martin sounds kinda resentful ngl -why would his landlord know his cat moved upstairs lol -he went back... specifically to look for spiders... around a man who died... from a spider. -martin is so dumb i love him -im imagining like a horror movie lady scream the high pitched ahhh -now im grossed out. at least this isnt a visual medium. -the worm LEAPT -AW hes so concerned for her -so jane prentiss is a worm hive woman. damn i wish i didnt have trypophobia -MARTIN IS A GENIUS AND DID EXACTLY WHAT I ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE TO DO. JUST STUFF THE HOLES AROUND YOUR DOOR IF YOU HAVE A BUG PROBLEM -peaches are gross anyways -aww jon is offering martin his room -THE ARCHIVISTS CRIMSON FATE -jane prentiss is an edgelord jesus

[themagnusliveblog]

MAG 21

The title makes me concerned because Im not afraid of heights but I am afraid of falling

-robert sounds like me. a little shit child who gets hurt a bunch bc they dont know what the line of "safety" is. -are charity skydives real? i always see them on tv but never irl -me too ma'am. i will not be skydiving til im close enough that id die whether or not i hit the ground at terminal velocity -if you're feeling dizzy WHY WOULD YOU JUMP OUT OF A PLANE -head empty, no ground? -nothing is more comforting than sleeping your childhood bed. -the sky ate him - i dont see how the parachute is relevant at all. -MARTIN?

[themagnusliveblog]

MAG 20

SO this is the continuation of the last one...

-I honestly cannot relate to being so panicked about being unable to pray. He just honestly sounds so upset about it.

-My mans is having a hard time. Needs to take some aspirin and a nap.

-Wait is he Catholic? I dont think Christians do confession.

-THIS MAN IS A FAKE, HE IS NOT A REAL FATHER.

-You know what TMA has taught me? If Im stressed out, stay home. Roaming the streets will just get me in trouble.

-That really is the Eucharist then, huh? It was bread til it hit your mouth then it was flesh... god catholics are weird.

-haha little APPETITE for reopening... haha...

[themagnusliveblog]

So. Ive decided the only way Im gonna continue to liveblog TMA is if I listen at work. Which means instead of reblogging from myself like i was, Im gonna have to switch to bullet point format so I can dictate them into my phone and post them once the episode is over.

Itll be less fun but I might actually get through some episodes (with the length they are and my schedule, prolly 10-14 a day, which should take 20 days-ish)

[themagnusliveblog]

tma episode 2

[themagnusliveblog]

magnus archives is fine but it shouldnt have a plot and if you WERE going to give it one why would it not center around my personal favorite character, “dude from the third episode who didnt have cable so he ate all the pages out of his notebook to pass the time”? he was even gay

[themagnusliveblog]

Oh this is the other side of the weird Chehkovs tree story. With, of course, a cannibalism footnote.

MAG 19

"We'll get to the cannibalism, OF COURSE."

I dont know what I expected.

[themagnusliveblog]

MAG 19

"We'll get to the cannibalism, OF COURSE."

I dont know what I expected.

[themagnusliveblog]

I love how Jon doesnt give a shit why this guy stapled meat to his walls. Hes concerned about where this meat came from. Like, dude could just be a hunter and boom thats solved.

WHY DID HE DO THAT THO?

MAG 18

The horror of having neighbors.

[themagnusliveblog]

I saw a meat house and now Im a vegetarian.

-this dude.

But honestly, me too.

MAG 18

The horror of having neighbors.

[themagnusliveblog]

I am telling you on my mothers grave I will NEVER walk into a house where the door opens when I touch it. EVER.

MAG 18

The horror of having neighbors.