therealamg14

[therealamg14]

Touch me.

Touch your head to mine

Hold my hand and run your finger over my knuckles

Put your hand to the small of my back on the bus

Play with my hair through sleepy conversations

Touch me

Let’s play footsie under the table

Let me fall asleep in your arms, a smile on my lips

Brush the hair from my face and laugh when it falls again

Touch me

Kiss my cheek to say goodbye

Dance with me under darkened skies

Hold me when life weighs heavier than it should

Let me cry on your shoulder as you whisper in my ear

Touch me

Be a safe place that I can hold on to

Give me a home I can touch and feel

Let me heal but in the safety of your arms

Touch me

Hold the very core of me

Touch me in the brokenness no one gets to see

Touch my soul and love it

In spite of the bad things and the sad days

Touch me

Hold my brokenness in your hands and love me anyway.

-a.m.g.

[therealamg14]

I’m meant to be loved

Slowly but passionately

I’m meant to be loved through old film photos

And through pouring rain dancing

I’m meant to be loved by holding hands

I’m meant to be loved with kisses on the counter

And with soapy fingers through your hair

I’m meant to be loved by pulling me closer as we sleep

And morning breath kisses

I’m meant for a love that is real and there

And physical in all the ways other than sex

And then that too

I’m meant to be loved with kisses on my palm

And soft touches

I’m meant to be loved by bumping knees while we eat ice cream

And with spontaneous dancing to late night jazz on the radio

I’m meant to be kissed with sticky pancake syrup lips

I’m meant to be loved carefully

Softly slowly tenderly and oh so passionately

I’m meant to be loved wholly and completely

Inside and out

I’m meant for something more than an “r u up?” text

-a.m.g.

[therealamg14]

“Happy.”

They sit in bed together and laugh

They joke and dance in the kitchen

They smile over morning coffee on their balcony

They are happy.

They’re happy except when she comes home late

They’re happy except when he’s tired

Then there’s fighting

Then there’s yelling

Then dishes fly and doors slam

They’re happy

They cuddle watching late night movies

They cook breakfast for each other

They plan trips and surprise dinners

They make cocoa and fall asleep holding hands

They’re happy

Except when she’s alone

Except when she didn’t clean the kitchen right

Except when she wants him to help her

They’re happy except when he’s mad

They’re happy except when he hits her

They’re happy except when she cleans the mess

Cleaning broken dishes with her tears

They’re happy when she’s who he wants her to be

They’re happy

They act like it sometimes

But in the quiet

In the darkness

In the corners of their life

They aren’t happy at all

They’re happy except-

-a.m.g.

[therealamg14]

“I know this hurts but you have to do it anyway”

I say to my grandma as I walk her to the bathroom

I know it hurts but you’ve got to anyway

I say as I lift her into her chair for the first of two times that day

I know this hurts but we’ve got to do it anyway

I tell her as I change her clothes from loungewear to PJs

I know this hurts but we need to anyway

I tell her as I set her dinner down in front of her willing her to eat

I know this hurts but it’s got to be done

I say as I brush her hair as gently as I possibly can

I know this hurts but you need to anyway

I tell her as I lift her into the chair to take her around the house

I know this hurts but it needs to be done

I tell her as she tries to settle into her bed at night

I know this hurts but I have to try at least

I tell her in the morning when I know something is off

I know this hurts but please let me change your nightgown

I tell her after I’ve called my mother

I know this hurts but it will get better soon

I say with tears in my eyes watching her struggle to stay awake

I know this hurts but at least they can say goodbye

I tell her and myself as we made each call

I know this hurts but soon it won’t

I tell her as I stoke her hair

I know this hurts but look! There He is!

She tells me as she slips away

I know this hurts but you have to do it anyway

I tell myself as I slip in the black dress

I know this hurts but it’s got to be done

I say as I walk across the grass and lay a rose on her casket

I know this hurts but you’ve got to do it

I tell myself as I dress myself each morning, not knowing how to fill my days anymore

I know this hurts but we’ve got to anyway

I say as we go through her things

I know this hurts but it needs to be done

I say as I pack my things one by one after the seasons have changed

I know this hurts but I have to try

I tell myself as I attempt to make life my own again

I know this hurts but it will be okay

I say through midnight tears

I know this hurts but it’s got to get better

I say to myself as I look at the trees, knowing one day it will.

-a.m.g.

Lol I guess I lied about my posting being slower I’m just on fire lately idk

[therealamg14]

I died.

I’m pretty sure.

One day I woke up

Looked in the mirror

And saw someone else staring back

I died.

Suddenly I had no idea who I was

Where I was going

Or where I came from

I mean I looked different

Felt different

It seemed I was an entirely new being

When did I get that mole?

Or those freckles on my nose?

Were my eyes really this green before?

Did I really like country music?

And I hated jazz?

That doesn’t sound right

Not one bit

So who was I?

Who am I?

I guess I don’t know

But I died

That I know for sure.

Now I like Jazz

Now my eyes are more green than brown

And now my hair is short

My nails are painted

And I’m someone else

Someone I never would have been before

I died.

And I don’t know how to live anymore.

-a.m.g.

[therealamg14]

OKAY EVERYONE WERE BACK IN BUSINESSSSSSSSS

Starting off with this one

“The ghost that haunts me.”

I’m surrounded by her,

Old pictures on the wall

Clothes she used to wear

There’s decorations that she put up

And scents she used to wear

There’s the clips she used for her hair

And the books she used to read

There are pieces of her everywhere

When I open my phone to play music

There she is in the lyrics she used to scream

When I walk through the house

There she is in everything I see

If I go home and see my mom

She’s sure to bring her up

If I go to the mall there she is

Walking around eating chocolate

Part of me misses her

Part of me doesn’t know who to be

If shes not here

I guess that’s why I keep all of it around

But life’s different now

Like it or not

Which I do and I don’t

She’s a ghost and she’s haunting me

Day and night she’s there

How do I let go of her?

How do I make her stop?

How do I let myself live when she is not?

How can I be happy when she never was?

How do I throw out the clothes?

If I may need them again?

How do I throw away the clips?

If I may grow out my hair once more?

How do I give away the decorations?

If I still remember them fondly?

How can I toss the scents I used to wear?

If sometimes I still want to put them on?

How can I change my playlist?

If I still know the words to every song?

The old me may be dead and gone

But I’m still here

Living in her house

With all of her things to remind me

Remind me of the past

Remind me of who I used to be.

How can I get rid of everything?

When it feels so much like getting rid of me?

-a.m.g.

Thank you for being so patient, posting may still be a little slow for now but HEY we have something!

[therealamg14]

Midnight:

The darkness creeps in long before

And the world lightens long after

Midnight.

The darkest time of day

When all the creepy crawlies come out

Witches

Vampires

Werewolves

And so many more

La Llorona calls out near the riverside

And people dance in firelight, trees looming above

All around the World’s tales come true at least for this hour

A man with a hook looking for revenge

A woman who burns houses, people still inside

A child who tries to find “friends”

Monsters come out finding safety in the darkness

Chupacabra, Sasquatch, monsters that lie in the deep sea

Don’t you feel it? When you’re awake at midnight?

Don’t you hear that twig break in the backyard?

Or laughter that carries in the dead of night?

Maybe you get up to get water or use the bathroom

Maybe you work late, maybe you feel it on your drive home

Don’t the hairs on the back of your neck stand up?

Don’t your hands get just a little clammy?

Don’t you feel just a little out of place?

Of course you are.

They don’t call it witching hour for nothing.

-a.m.g.

@picklemafia

@thenightquill

Thank you for the prompt!

[therealamg14]

Just an update with a chonky bee.

So far I still can’t find my poetry I think it’s gone for good sadly. BUTTTTTTTTT I have been writing so expect a post here soon (within the next week sometime)

Thank you so much for your patience I appreciate it very much! I love you guys and I freaking love writing and posting and all the jazz that comes with it and I can’t wait to show you my new stuff

So look for me again soon! There will be more! More is coming!

[therealamg14]

Ok sooo my posting is going to slow down for the next couple of weeks, somehow I lost all of my poetry so I’m gonna need time to write more.

Thank you for being here and thank you for waiting. 💕

-a.m.g.

[therealamg14]

Ok I have been loving this meal and it’s super easy and idk

So I live alone and it’s SO hard for me to like cook because I always make too much and honestly I don’t want to like go through all the effort and mess and stuff to make dinner every night BUT:

Get yourself a package of the like pre marinated chicken breast or thighs or whatever in the meat section of your local grocery store.

In mine they’re usually on sale and it’s like 2 breasts for like $4? Which is at least 2 meals for me.

Thennnn get some already prepared veggies either frozen or in the produce section, I like green beans or Brussels sprouts but seriously creative liberties. And they should last at least 2-3 of these recipes.

Then you’re gonna want a potato like one of the ones they sell by themselves (skip this if you’re going for like a fajita sort of thing or honestly do what you want I won’t judge)

Throw some oil in like a small baking pan, it needs some walls but idk measure with your heart

Cut the potato and veggies if you need to, I also like to add in some bacon, and throw all of that in the pan. However much you want of each. Add spices whatever your heart desires and measure with your heart, if you’re doing like fajitas sort of thing you could even add like a hot sauce or something.

Then mix alllll that upp.

Finally add your chicken on top just lay that thing on there no prep really. And this is optional but you could totally add a couple lobs of butter on the chicken to keep it moist but you do you.

Let that cook in the oven for like an episode of Criminal Minds or Supernatural or whatever (40-45 mins)

And then it should be done!

This lasts me about 1-2 meals but it’s GOOD and suuuper easy so yeah.

[therealamg14]

I like coffee

I like to brew it at home

And let the smell radiate through all the rooms

I love to pour it in a cup and doctor it just so

And I’ve always wanted to grab a second mug

Set it right next to mine

Go out to the porch and sip coffee

With a man I love

But right now

There’s just one mug on my counter

Just one chair on my porch

And so for now I’ll sit

And enjoy coffee in the crisp morning air

All by my self

I’ll watch the sun come up

And the world come alive once more

And I’ll be happy

Sipping coffee alone

Until there’s another mug on the counter

And even then

I’ll be happy with our coffee

My coffee ‘til then.

-a.m.g.

[therealamg14]

One day I’ll have a walk-in closet

Filled to the brim with clothes I love to wear

One day I’ll have a big stove

Big enough to cook more than one thing at a time

One day I’ll have an extra room

Just so I can make messes when I paint

One day I’ll have a living room

With comfortable furniture for family and friends

One day I’ll have a kitchen

With enough counter space to cook every night

One day I’ll have a bathtub

So I can relax before bed each night

One day my pictures will have frames

And they’ll be on the walls of every room

One day I’ll have a fridge

That seems too big for everything

One day my cats will have more room to play

They’ll jump and run and do somersaults

One day I’ll have a yard

And maybe a dog to play in it

One day I’ll have a chair

So I can sit and watch the sunset

One day I’ll have a home

Not because of its size or its brand new appliances

One day I’ll have a home

Because of the freedom and love it provides

One day I’ll have something of my own

A house or single-wide I don’t care

One day and hopefully

Someday soon.

-a.m.g.

[therealamg14]

Sometimes I think of you and my heart swells with love

When we talk I am always left with a glow

I can’t help but smile when your name pops on my phone

I can’t wait for the days when I’ll see you again

I can’t help but love you this much

Fifteen years and more to come

We will be friends forever and beyond

I know we will never be anything more

Than two friends made sisters so long ago

You are my best friend

And the best I could ask for

We have different interests

You love music much more than I

But for me language is where I’m at home

We’ve seen each other at our worsts

Ugly crying, angry, selfish and so much more

We’ve fought through addictions, death, and suffering

We’ve rejoiced for the other whenever we could

You have been right by my side

For almost as long as I can remember

Fifteen years and so many more to come

-a.m.g.

“S.H.”

[therealamg14]

We used to be the same

Seven souls united for eternity

At least so we thought

We used to spend almost every waking moment

Talking and walking and joking together

Best friends forever we thought

I used to envision my wedding one day

With you as my bridesmaids

While the groom’s face remained a mystery

I used to know the ins and outs of your minds

And hearts and souls too

What hobbies you loved

How life was like at home for you

I used to go to your house week after week

And we would laugh and sleep on the floor together

We used to do each other’s hair and makeup

And dress in the other’s clothes

We used to eat pancakes with cold syrup in the cool of December

And cool ourselves in the wash in the heat of August

We used to be seven stars, seven sisters

Bound to spend our lives together

But now, if I look at you

Or we pass each other by

I can’t hardly recognize who you used to be

The glow of your souls are so different now

Now I see you and I double take

Can’t seem to realize it’s you who I’m looking at

Now when I see you or pass you by

You don’t hardly seem like the girls I used to know

Now you’re grown and have gone your own way

You are happy I hope

But now I’ll never know

We used to be soulmates or at least we thought

Now we are nothing more than strangers to each other.

-a.m.g.

[therealamg14]

My one true love

Greets me with open arms

And a heart so willing to love

My love brings great joy to me

In the midst of my darkest moments

He gives me endless kindness and warmth

Protection from things I am unable to see

He loves me so gently so kindly

My heart, when wounded, finds solace

Only in the strength of His wings

My love so wonderful

So powerful and great

Never ceases to treat me with strange gentleness

A kind word

The softest guiding hand

My one true love so kind to me

To bring me the most magnificent of gifts

A thunderstorm with giant cracks of thunder

Or a flower in bloom

My love is so kind to offer me cool breezes in summer

Or the laughter of a child

My love is so great, and so kind to me

That I never doubt the love that grows between us

One that will remain unmatched

All the days of my life

Oh to love and be loved

By this most magnificent One

Is to be found guilty of nothing

It’s to be found rid of every blemish

Every scar or pain I’ve caused

Oh to be loved by this most wonderful One

Is to be blessed beyond belief and measure

To be loved by Him

Is the greatest gift I will ever receive

On this side of life

Or in death

For in death we are not parted

But united

Me and my One True Love.

-a.m.g.

[therealamg14]

It’s not selfish to have your own wants in life.

It’s not selfish to change your mind.

It’s not selfish to want different things than people think you want.

It’s not selfish to want to be happy living your life.

It’s not selfish to protect your peace.

It’s not selfish to move away if you need to.

It’s not selfish to love yourself.

It’s not selfish to want a vibrant life.

It’s not selfish to not know what you want and try to find it.

It’s not selfish to be different than you used to be.

It’s not selfish to change, grow, to exist differently now.

It’s not selfish.

-a.m.g.

[therealamg14]

I don’t want a man who worships the ground I walk on

I’m not a goddess or anything divine

I am a broken mess of a person

And I know that full well

I don’t want a man who will sing me praises

Or idolize me

No not one bit

I want a man who sees those cracks in me

The dirtiness

The terrible things I have done

I want a man who will accept them

And love me in spite of them

I want a man who will look at me at my worst

Ugly crying and sobbing until it hurts

And instead of being disappointed or disgusted

He reaches out his arms to hold me

I want a man who will see the horrible things in me

And love me despite them

I want a man who looks at me realistically

Instead of with rose colored glasses

He should want me yes

But he should never worship me

I wouldn’t respect him if he did.

-a.m.g.