thespookiestparker

[thespookiestparker]

The Price Of Freedom

A/N: hello everyone!! it feels very weird to be coming back to this blog with a new fic but I’ve been trying to put this together for months, I’ve finally torn myself away from the game for long enough to write about it lol enjoy!

p.s. I also made this playlist after I romanced him for the very first time and it was what I was listening to if you want some ✨mood music✨

Summary: Astarion struggles with his newfound livelihood now that he isn’t bound to Cazador

Pairing: Spawn!Astarion x GN!Tav

CW: Angst (That gets resolved), blood mention/description (kind of inevitable with a vampire but 🤷🏻‍♂️)

Over your time traveling with your newfound friends, you and Astarion had grown to be what you considered close. When everyone else had bedded down for the night, the two of you would more often than not find each other.

It had taken time, and you honestly weren’t sure it would happen. For a while, you were left to wonder if Astarion even liked anyone at camp, let alone you. Sometimes, he’d let things slip, though.

Like when you threw a pile of shit at that goblin’s face, he’d let out a soft chuckle. Short and sweet, something you’re sure he didn’t mean to set free, but he did nonetheless before the fighting had broken out. Or, a week later, when you’d started to catch him sneaking glances at you over the campfire as you spoke to Gale or Wyll. You could’ve sworn that a flash of jealousy flashed in his eyes from time to time, but you’d never tell him that you noticed. You didn’t want to embarrass him, even if he would never admit to feeling that kind of emotion.

It all came to a head at the party that was held at your camp with the tieflings from the emerald grove, when he’d asked to sneak away with you for the night for some ‘fun’. Something about him had seemed…off that night when you looked back on it. Astarion had seemed too composed for someone who’d been drinking. The vampire hadn’t said much about his past by then, other than that he’d had a master in Baldur’s Gate who had treated him like he was less than nothing. You could tell that pity wasn’t the answer here, that he would only take offense to something like that, so instead you showed him respect. He was a formidable ally, after all, you couldn’t afford to lose him, even if you hadn’t developed feelings for him.

Now, you were almost inseparable. Every time you fell in battle, he was the first to rush to help you up, and at first you weren’t sure if it was because he’d smelled your blood or if he was genuinely trying to help. That was, until you saw his eyes widen in a way you’d never seen before and only a few times since, vulnerable concern etched into his pale face. It made a pang of guilt explode in your chest that you’d ever thought any less of him.

Every day seemed to allow you to peel away at his prickly, impatient, and overall grumpy layers to get to the man beneath. The softer, more broken elf that had been hiding behind all these nearly impenetrable walls that he only seemed to let down around you, though it had been only partial to start. Even if someone else in the party was able to take a glimpse, you were slowly piecing together the whole picture.

Or at least, you thought you were.

It was the night before you were to reach Baldur’s Gate when the next one of those walls came crashing down around him, startling both of you.

You sought him out in the night, as you usually did, but when you peered into his tent, it was empty. Before you had time to process that, you heard his voice in the form of a deep growl behind you,

“What are you doing?”

Your body whipped around to face him, immediately noticing how he was towering over you. The blood on his chin glistened in the faint light of the moon, catching your gaze before his eyes of the same piercing red did.

You must’ve had a fearful look on your face because he seemed to snap back into his own mind, his expression going from a feral sort of anger to something akin to the familiar loving and vulnerable look you’d come to adore. But this was different. There was a deep sort of pain in his eyes, it made you instinctively extend your hand to him before he tore himself away.

“Don’t touch me.” he spat, his voice guarded and icy. He nearly pushed past you to get to his tent, to shroud himself in the familiarity of complete darkness and isolation.

“Astarion, wait—“ you tried, your hand hesitantly floating between the two of you as he angrily gripped the flap of his tent.

“Just. Leave me be. For tonight.” His voice was nothing more than a whisper just before he disappeared behind the red burlap of his tent.

The heaviness in your heart was devastating and cold, but you left him alone for now and decided to sit by the fire instead. Keeping watch over your sleeping friends as tears spilled silently over your cheeks.

All you could think about was comforting him, holding him in your arms until the pain seeped out of him in waves. But you weren’t about to go against his wishes, so instead you let your emotions run free until you fell asleep. You didn’t mention anything to the others in the morning, and you didn’t want them to notice. Astarion’s business was his own to share, not yours, so you weren’t going to let your emotions get in the way of that. He deserved privacy after all this time, you weren’t about to get in the way of that.

The next days distanced the two of you as your group explored the city. He seemed just as closed off as when you’d started your adventure, if not more, and you were afraid that nothing could get him to open up to you again. It seemed like the others may have noticed as well, though it wasn’t exactly a secret. The silence between the two of you was loud enough to be heard miles away.

“OOO! A circus! Can we go?!” Karlach squealed, gesturing to a sign that displayed a brightly colored poster for something called ‘The Circus of The Last Days’.

Maybe not everyone had noticed. No one else had said anything to contradict you, so you didn’t touch upon it.

“Sure, we can go.” You chuckle, trying your hardest to seem normal right now, for Astarion’s sake if not yours. You lead everyone into the circus, past the elf and the ghoul at the gate, and you all end up splitting off until it was just you and Astarion. You half expected him to distance himself from you again, since he’d seemed to need to be alone, but then his words from last night echoed in your mind.

“Just for tonight”

You weren’t sure why he’d suddenly wanted the distance, but you didn’t want to question it. He was well within his rights, but you couldn’t help the worry gnawing in your stomach that you were constantly pushing down.

All of it was interrupted when he slipped his hand in yours, a discreet maneuver that would’ve gone unnoticed by anyone looking at the two of you, before you felt him squeeze it. A wordless apology, which you happily accepted for now. You could talk later, for now, it felt safe to be enjoying the circus amidst the chaos that was your lives.

“Darling, do you think a statue of me would be too much for our little camp?” He asked, his normal smug confidence radiating from him as he posed next to a nearby tent. It was owned by a mud mephit and his wife, who were conveniently named Boney and Stoney, and advertised statues made of the likeness of any passersby willing to pay their price.

“It costs 5,000 gold!” You laughed, shaking your head at him as you tugged on his arm in a vain attempt to pull him away from said tent.

“So? Don’t you want something to immortalize my beauty for all of eternity?”

“I don’t need it, I already have you.”

The love and care you shower him with never ceased to take him off his guard, but he smiled regardless and continued on with you through the circus, enjoying the frivolous nature of the it all.

Days of traveling later, once your party had not only found Cazador, but made sure he was good and dead, you decided to at least attempt to breach the subject when he seemed to be more stable. Your relationship was so fragile that something this deep and painful could shatter it, which was exactly what you didn’t want.

That night, you found him just as you always did on nights like these, sitting by the dying fire as the rest of your friends headed to their separate corners of your dwelling for the night.

“May I join you?” You ask softly, gently touching his shoulder now that he’d been the first one to make physical contact earlier that day. You always let him take the lead on things like that because you wanted to let him be the one to make the choice of whether or not he wanted that kind of affection, knowing he had so little of his own autonomy for so many years. Even if he had expressed to you that it was becoming easier to differentiate you from those sorts of feelings.

“Of course, darling, always.” He responds in a similar tone, turning his head to look at you as you sat yourself beside him which made some of his stark white curls fall into his eyes.

“There have been times when you seemed to…” You pause, considering your wording for a moment, “...disagree with that statement.”

“That was different, I was…not myself.” He seemed almost disgusted by something, presumably something about himself or the way he acted last night.

“I’ve never seen you that way, it was almost like you were—”

“A vampire?” he interrupted, and you rest your hand over his where it lay on his knee,

“Someone else���You know that I see you for more than what you are. That I always have.”

“Regardless, I am lucky that you saw me in that state and not anyone else. I haven’t been that disheveled since I was first turned, and anyone else would only see a monster, which frustrates me all the more,” without letting you speak, he continued. Seeming to be fueled by the traumatizing anguish that lies within him, or at least some of it, “because it isn’t fair! I didn’t ask to be a monster! No one told me that I’d be cursed this way, and I regret not dying that night on the street—“ he exploded into a rage, though it was like the one you had seen the night he came back to camp. The same deeply seeded pain behind his eyes was ever present as he roared such hurtful words. He stood quickly, turning away from you as shame diffused from his being.

“Astarion…” You cried, holding out your hand for him only to see him flinch away. As if he was afraid you would hurt him, which made a burning pain spread through you emanating from your heart. It felt wrong, like you’d only made things worse without intending to. The tears that welled in your eyes came without your permission but you were helpless to do anything but keep them from falling.

“What?!” He whirled around to face you, his face spattered with tears. A level of distress and anger you hadn’t seen from him since Cazador’s passing. You’re suddenly reminded of the image that was him, kneeling over his former master’s lifeless body as he sobbed. Shirtless and covered in blood.

It had broken your heart to see him that way, but he’d needed that moment to let what had just happened wash over him. To finally be free.

You snapped back to reality when Astarion seemed to realize what he’d said, and how it had affected you as he roughly rubbed at his tear-stained cheeks.

“I…I don’t really think that way. This…all of this…has been… a bit much for me. Knowing that he forever changed me. That I’ll never truly have a chance to be something other than a monster in the eyes of most–”

You step forward, once again extending your hands but stopping just before you make contact with his skin to ask silent permission from him. He nodded with little to no hesitation, urging you on before you gently cupped his cheeks and continued to speak, “I don’t think that you’re a monster…You’ve said it yourself, you are so much more than he made you. I, for one, fully believe that. If you don’t believe it yourself right away, that’s more than alright, because I’ll be here to remind you. Every step of the way.”

He almost can’t look at you, more salty tears threatening to spill from his red and puffy eyes.

“I…don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to right now. All that you need to do right now is to rest. We both should.” You answer gently yet firmly, starting to pull your hands from his face before he grabbed one of your wrists.

“Don’t,” he started, an air of desperation in his words, “I…I haven’t been the kindest to you, and I apologize for that, but I don’t want to be alone. Please.” You hadn’t planned on leaving him, but usually touch was something that had made him uncomfortable so you were simply ending the contact even though he seemed to take it a different way.

“You won’t be alone…I’m here.” You reassure, moving your hand to his shoulder instead while letting him hold your wrist. “But I stand by my statement. Come on,” You lead him inside his own tent, bedding down with him for the first time since the night he’d come back to camp covered in something else’s blood, though it would be far from the last.

[thespookiestparker]

things I write for, listed alphabetically

ships and characters listed under the cut! some things were added and others were taken away as my tastes have changed in the last few years lol anything with an * is new. Requests are open and any character can be for any gender!

DISCLAIMER: Every character I write for is of age. I do not write for minors, this blog is 18+. This is nothing personal

Fandoms

Baldur's Gate 3*

Criminal Minds*

DC

Marvel

Stranger Things

Star Wars

Ships

Baldur's Gate 3*

Bloodweave* (Astarion Ancunin x Gale Dekarios)

Karheart* (Shadowheart "Jenevelle" Hallowleaf x Karlach Cliffgate)

Ursa Minor (Astarion Ancunin x Halsin Silverbough) ! there are other ship names for this one i just like that

DC

Birdflash* (Dick Grayson x Wally West)

Dickory* (Dick Grayson x Kori Anders)

JayRoy* (Jason Todd x Roy Harper)

Superbat (I feel like this one's self explanatory) Marvel

BuckyNat (Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff)

Deadclaws/Poolverine* (Wade Wilson x James "Logan" Howlett)

IronStrange (Tony Stark x Stephen Strange)

MattFoggy* (Matt Murdock x Foggy Nelson)

Romy* (Anna Marie LeBeau x Remy LeBeau)

SpideyDevil (Peter Parker x Matt Murdock)

SpideyDevilPool (Peter Parker x Matt Murdock x Wade Wilson)

SpideyPool (Peter Parker x Wade Wilson)

Stony (Steve Rogers x Tony Stark)

Stucky (Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes)

Thundershield (Thor Odinson x Steve Rogers)

Star Wars

Anidala (Anakin Skywalker x Padme Amidala) ! Includes Skywalker Family !

Scoundress* (Han Solo x Princess Leia Organa)

Skysolo* (Han Solo x Luke Skywalker)

Stranger Things

Jancy (Jonathan Byers x Nancy Wheeler)

Jargyle* (Jonathan Byers x Argyle)

Ronance (Robin Buckley x Nancy Wheeler)

Steddie (Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson)

Stonathan (Steve Harrington x Jonathan Byers)

Characters

Astarion Ancunin*

Gale Dekarios*

Halsin Silverbough*

Karlach Cliffgate*

Rolan* (unfortunately without a canon last name rip)

Shadowheart "Jenevelle" Hallowleaf

Wyll Ravengard*

Aaron Hotchner*

Penelope Garcia*

Spencer Reid

Barry Allen*

Bruce Wayne*

Clark Kent*

Dick Grayson

Jason Todd

James "Bucky" Barnes

Remy LeBeau*

James "Logan" Howlett*

Matt Murdock

Peter Parker (Peter 1, Peter 3, or a Special 3rd Kind lol)

Steve Rogers

Tony Stark*

Anakin Skywalker*

Han Solo*

Luke Skywalker*

Leia Organa*

Obi Wan Kenobi*

Eddie Munson

Jonathan Byers*

Robin Buckley*

Steve Harrington

[thespookiestparker]

Hello all! Considering I’ve had this account since I was 18, I was thinking I should revamp this place just a bit, so here goes: 

Introducing the author: Nice to meet you! I’m Spooky, he/him, 25 I’ve made a masterlist if you’d like to take a look at the fics I’ve written over the years, as well as a list of ships I’d write for and characters I’d make x reader fics for! I do take requests, but please try to be respectful! Thank you!

Inbox Status: Open!

[thespookiestparker]

update!

hey everyone ! I am, in fact, not dead! But, if you see changes happening to this blog, I'm kinda revamping now that I've had a bit more experience with not only writing but having a blog for said writing (I've had this blog since I was 18 and now I'm fucking 25 jfc) SO! If you see me reposting fics, that's why! Hopefully it'll look a bit better by the time I'm done with it

[thespookiestparker]

Masterlist enjoy! - Spooky

Fics (Alphabetically)

Baldur’s Gate 3

The Price of Freedom- Astarion struggles with his newfound livelihood after being bound to Cazador

Detroit: Become Human Connor and Hank on Christmas ft Sumo is exactly what it sounds like. A fluffy fic of my favorite android with his human dad and dog on Christmas!! Connor vs Cat is a little fluffy thing that I wrote about my android son interacting with the world. if you can't tell, all of my teeth will be rotted out when I’m older because I LOVE FLUFF

The Invisible Little Android is a chapter story (which I started and kind of abandoned I'm sorry, I don't know if I'm going to start it up again) to make up for the total lack of Simon appreciation in Detroit: Become Human, because he deserves love, too, guys

Marvel Stony Breathing and The Lack Therof is one of my favorite fics I’ve ever written, a super fluffy one where Tony saves Steve from a panic attack

"Goodnight, Rogers" is a fluffy lil oneshot for those like me who ship the heck out of that. This is honestly one of my favorite fics that I've written for Marvel thus far, will literally rot your teeth out with all the sweetness! Late Nights and Hot Chocolate is another oneshot in my fluff series because there's a lot of fics about Tony's nightmares so I made one for Steve's May I Have This Dance? is a no power au oneshot that I wrote about Tony and Steve meeting at a wedding :) Super Father’s Day is a drabble I wrote for Father’s Day because I needed to have a fluffy family fic for my favorite superhusbands

What A Valentine’s Day is a lil fic I wrote for Valentine’s Day (obviously) about Steve surprising Tony at their surprise holiday dinner

Stucky A Broken Man and a Winter Soldier is a Stucky oneshot I wrote that is way more angsty than I intended, it's like my high school self threw up in a hot topic onto Bucky and Steve. so enjoy that! Burning with Love is a short lil surprisingly Stucky sickfic, with cute nicknames and a feverish Stevie Stranger Things

Hey, Eddie? It’s Me, Steve is a fic about Eddie comforting Steve after a nightmare

Collections Flufftober 2022 is exactly what it sounds like! I posted a fluffy one shot for every day of October! (Ships may vary from fandom to fandom. Also, I tried, but failed lol)

Flufftober 2023 same thing, a year later!

[thespookiestparker]

Flufftober = On its way!

A/N: That's right! The boys and I are on new adventures for the spookiest month of the year ! Yes, it may or may not be late by...quite a few days but I plan to catch myself up and hopefully keep up after that, so uhhh don't mind me haha

[thespookiestparker]

i just realized anon wasn’t on before 🤦🏻 it is now, though!! pls go ahead and send something in, don’t be shy!!

hello world and all who inhabit it,

i have updated my masterlist with some characters and things that i would like to write for (but need some inspiration for lmao). my inbox is open if you have something you REALLY wanna see in fic but don’t want to write for yourself. HAVE AT IT, ATTACK ME WITH IDEAS!

[thespookiestparker]

hello world and all who inhabit it,

i have updated my masterlist with some characters and things that i would like to write for (but need some inspiration for lmao). my inbox is open if you have something you REALLY wanna see in fic but don’t want to write for yourself. HAVE AT IT, ATTACK ME WITH IDEAS!

[thespookiestparker]

i've been getting a few notes on this, so i may or may not have gotten curious and checked the stats on the fic and--

i've peaked as an author

what is up, my dudes!

yes, it is in fact, 3:30 in the morning,

BUT

i have a new baby lil oneshot for you peeps. So, if ya like Steddie, here is the first of many lil oneshots. I took a tiny break from writing Spideypool to spill out my thoughts on these 2 cause I adore them. As the tags say, Steve Harrington needs a hug, so I made Eddie give him one lol

they're my comfort himbos, your honor

[thespookiestparker]

what is up, my dudes!

yes, it is in fact, 3:30 in the morning,

BUT

i have a new baby lil oneshot for you peeps. So, if ya like Steddie, here is the first of many lil oneshots. I took a tiny break from writing Spideypool to spill out my thoughts on these 2 cause I adore them. As the tags say, Steve Harrington needs a hug, so I made Eddie give him one lol

they're my comfort himbos, your honor

[thespookiestparker]

Hey, y'all! So here's a bit of an update on what's been goin' down;

Flufftober has Days 1-7 posted here and I'm scrambling to finish more chapters today because nycc absolutely obliterated me. Literally just sat in bed for a day and just watched movies cause I had NO energy, but I'm back on it! Chapters 8-11 should be up by later today!

Also, as a surprise little treat, I finally added another chapter to In The Most Cliché Fashion Possible, I Love You and I'll be working on another one amidst all of my Flufftober nonsense, so keep an eye out for that, too!

I also changed my layout for spooky month, ✨surprise✨ I hope y'all like it as well as all my hardwork 😅

Have a spooky day!

[thespookiestparker]

as you should be, I don't think it'll ever happen again lmao

OKAY, so, I'm all caught up with Flufftober, Days 1-4 are posted here and I'll be back tomorrow with more! Enjoy!!

[thespookiestparker]

thank you! I think the funniest thing about this, though, was the message you sent right before these

OKAY, so, I'm all caught up with Flufftober, Days 1-4 are posted here and I'll be back tomorrow with more! Enjoy!!

[thespookiestparker]

OKAY, so, I'm all caught up with Flufftober, Days 1-4 are posted here and I'll be back tomorrow with more! Enjoy!!

[thespookiestparker]

okay so update on my flufftober:

Day 1 and 2 are up here

but I'm working on day 3 and 4 today because I was too tired to finish after work last night. Legit passed out on my keyboard xD so bare with me! More to come!

[thespookiestparker]

hi, y'all! I've started Flufftober (I know I'm a few days late, but I plan to write/post all 3 of the first few fics today so that I can catch myself up xD) it's linked on my masterlist post if anyone wants to give it a read! Ships may vary and can also be suggested if someone has a certain ship they'd like to see in mind!

here's a link! enjoy and stay spooky

[thespookiestparker]

Fic writing lightning round:

-What fandoms have you written fics for?

-Do you have any original stuff?

-What's your oldest fic?

-What story are you most proud of?

-What stories are in the works?

-Where can I read your stuff?

ooo thank you so much for the ask!! lemme answer your questions!

-I've written for bandoms like Green Day, Marvel, Detroit: Become Human, Stranger Things and DC. I don't really write for bands anymore, though, and I've only posted fics for Marvel and D:BH but I'm gonna put up some of my unposted stuff soon!

-I do! I haven't posted any of it but I am currently writing a book!

-My oldest published fic is a Green Day fic that I wrote when I was 13 (oh god, please don't look for it. It's a terrible Wattpad fic)

-Of my posted stuff, I'd say the stories I'm most proud of are In The Most Cliche Fashion Possible, I Love You, Late Nights and Hot Chocolate, and Breathing and The Lack Thereof

-The stories currently in the works are In The Most Cliche Fashion Possible, I Love You, a Team Red polycule fic that is TBN and a couple other Stranger Things ones I haven't started to post yet (as well as the book I mentioned before)

-The bulk of my stuff that is available to read is on ao3! I have a masterlist pinned and my username there is the same as here! For simplicity's sake, here's a link!

I hope you enjoy what you find and thank you again!

(My requests are also open if you have a particular thing you'd like to see in my style!)