tortoise-torpedo

[tortoise-torpedo]

MUCUOUS MEMBRANES OF THE ANAL CANAL

why does this person write smut like jigsaw. "enough per-siminal fluid for natural lubrication" u mean ur using precum and lube? u can say that man its not illegal i promise

[tortoise-torpedo]

why does this person write smut like jigsaw. "enough per-siminal fluid for natural lubrication" u mean ur using precum and lube? u can say that man its not illegal i promise

[tortoise-torpedo]

road work ahead?

Uh yeah I sure hope it does

[tortoise-torpedo]

Don't kill yourself Donald Trump hasn't died yet and you can't let him outlive you

[tortoise-torpedo]

[tortoise-torpedo]

Why would you kill him like this…

[tortoise-torpedo]

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

[tortoise-torpedo]

i hate the sad boyification of happy characters. i hate the idea that you need a tragic backstory to have depth or be interesting. i hate when confident, cheerful character are dumbed down into delicate blushing little virginal punching bags for the sake of wish fulfillment. i hate when everyone assumes the happy go lucky character is secretly insecure and being maltreated. i hate the romanticization of angst and the belittlement of optimisim. i hate the idea that a character being bright and friendly and cheerful means they lack depth/are boring. i hate

[tortoise-torpedo]

So...ao3 and tumblr are getting married on Twitter now

[tortoise-torpedo]

ao3 and tumblr ship is wild...

[tortoise-torpedo]

[tortoise-torpedo]

*late for a meeting*

Ghost: Fuck- I'm here

Price: Why the fuck are you late!? I told you-

Ghost: Excuse me, I was busy getting my guts rearranged- *immediate regret*

Price:

Gaz, sitting at the table: *covers his mouth in horror*

Nik: *restrains himself from laughing, face turning red*

Laswell: Oh my god...

Ghost: I... regret saying that... so much...

Soap, barging into the room: Sorry! I, UH- Was busy- ...

Ghost, quietly: Too late for excuses...

Gaz: *crying noises*

Nik: *shaking with laughter*

Laswell: *disappointed staring*

Soap:

Price: Well, there goes my fucking peace of mind for the day

[tortoise-torpedo]

anyways thinking of fighter pilot roach rn…

unfortunately the circumstances of making him a pilot will push him out of being in the 141 unless they have their own private pilots ??

but ouggghhhh fighter pilot roaccchhh ouggghh he’s an officer in the navy flying the fa18 super hornets for the jolly rogerssss ouuuggghhh

[tortoise-torpedo]

Do you all think that while Roach was dying, he reached for Ghost?

That he knew Ghost was already gone, but it didn’t matter. He just wanted to hold onto him one more time for comfort. Feel something besides the pain of his body shutting down. Tamper the fear as the gasoline was poured onto him, the smell suffocating him as it soaked his clothes. Then, when the fire finally caught, as it burned out the last bit of strength he had, he squeezed Ghost’s hand in his grip. A final goodbye that Ghost couldn’t return.

Because I do.

[tortoise-torpedo]

Ghostroach au where the reason Roach isn’t in the remake timeline is bc he retired so he and Ghost could get married and now he works at an animal shelter and the only people who know about it are Price and Laswell

One day, when the rest of the 141 find out that not only is Ghost married, it’s to this former spec ops mute gremlin brunette who’s like half his height and could kick his ass and collectively the 141 is like “yeah that tracks.”

[tortoise-torpedo]

[tortoise-torpedo]

*in the woods*

Price: *trips over a rock*

Ghost: Oh, hey John-

Price: Don’t-

Ghost: That's a rock. You know that? You can't go through it

Price: *groans*

Ghost: You have to step OVER it-

Soap: *suddenly face plants after trying to jump over a log*

Ghost: ... Hey, Soap. You know you're not supposed to fucking eat dirt, right?

Price, quietly: Thank god-