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The 2024 Gender Census is now open!

[ Link to survey ]

The 11th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th June 2024.

It’s short and easy, about 5 minutes probably.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful - it’s what helped us get 40,000 responses last year.

Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

For the curious, you can also spy on some graphs and demographic data for the incoming responses here.

Thank you so much!

[ Link to survey ]

Image credit: Malachite and rhodochrosite.

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don't use "ftm" it's outdated and offensive. it implies that the trans person was their agab, which we never were. i was always a boy, never a girl who became a boy.

i'm 35 years old. i've been IDing as trans or something similar to trans for nearly 20 years. i was probably calling myself FTM while you were playing tag during recess, anon.

i WAS a girl. i IDed as a girl early in my life. i recognized myself as a girl, called myself a girl, lived as a girl, and was a girl. who then IDed as a man. hence, F t M.

spend more time worrying about yourself instead of strangers on the internet, anon.

sorry not sorry if this comes off as needlessly hostile, but i've been getting a lot of shit from a lot of teenage trans kids about the language i use to describe my own goddamn experience, and i'm growing real fuckin weary of it.

i have elder trans friends who call themselves transsexuals and transvestites and trannies. are you going to seriously go to a 60-year-old trans person who survived the reagan years and tell her she's not allowed to use certain language to describe herself because it might offend the delicate sensibilities of some teenager on the internet?

do yourself a favor and log off, find some real-life trans people who are over the age of 20 or 25, and spend time talking to them instead of getting all holier-than-thou at random strangers on tumblr.

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All about sissy slave lifestyle

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So, He Wears Feminine Things

This is addressed to the wife, partner, girlfriend or other who has just discovered that the man in your life secretly wears feminine lingerie at times. Quite how you discovered this is not important, so much as how you react to it. That in turn will depend on a number of variables including your upbringing, your faith, your education, and your expectations of your relationship.

The revelation is probably a shock and leaves you with a turmoil of feelings and questions. Is he gay? Is he having an affair. Does he not love me?

First, calm down and realize that it is unlikely to be the end of your world or the end of your relationship. Your man cross dresses, expressing a deep seated feminine side of him that you did not know about because he has endeavoured to keep it a secret from you, fearing to damage a relationship he holds as very important to him.

Interestingly, men who cross dress are far more common than one would think. It is not a perversion but an expression of something that is a part of him, something he probably realized as a teen or young man and something that he has likely been ambivalent about ever since, cycling through guilt and grudging acceptance several times over.

There is in fact a wide scale between what our culture has tended to simplify as a binary system of ‘male’ and ‘female’. Your man is a little way along that scale, to all intents and purposes a male and comfortable to be so, but with an added feminine component which our culture provides very little way for him to express. Ironically, women in our modern culture can dress either in frilly feminine clothes or very masculine clothing without comment. The same latitude is not given to men, and should they publicly wear anything that is in the slightest feminine, they are called ‘sissies’, ‘queers’ or other insulting names. Cruelly, our culture has defined ‘men’ in a very narrow and confining way.

Interestingly, our native, indigenous culture has long recognized ‘Two Spirit’ people, further recognizing that such people have value among them as those with an empathy for, respect for and understanding of both primary genders. Such people are respected, not reviled.

Is he having an affair? No, those feminine items are not souvenirs of some sordid affair. He likely bought these things, one by one, on those rare occasions that the opportunity arose. He keeps these things hidden somewhere, fearing your reaction if discovered.

Is he gay? Some cross dressers are, but most are not so inclined. However, cross dressers are often attracted to other men who cross dress, when dressed, though not to men dressed as men. There is a long term for this condition, likely odd to you.

Does he still love you? Yes. Ironically, statistics show that the majority of cross dressers in a steady relationship greatly value their relationship with their partner. This increases

their fear of damaging this relationship. Most cross dressers yearn to be better understood by their partners

The worst thing you can do is to insist your man throw away his stash of feminine clothes and promise never to even think of doing such a thing ever again. He will promise. He values you highly. He will try to keep such a promise. But he will not be able to in the long run. You will simply have driven him further into the depths of the closet.

The better alternative is to accept the situation, recognizing that this is not going to go away and that there is some wisdom in the old adage ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’. The vast majority of cross dressers are ‘sometimes’ dressers, with no wish to live full time as women.

One response could be to accept that your man needs to occasionally express his feminine side, give him specific opportunities to do so, but state that you do not wish to be directly involved. It would likely be a huge relief for him to shed the cloak of secrecy, no longer fearing your unexpected early return home and the trauma of discovery.

Another response is to take an active role. Some partners help their men when shopping for clothes, either in the store or online. Some partners enjoy secretly knowing what their man is wearing under male outer clothes while out visiting with friends or at dinner and a show. Some couples buy matching sets of underwear or nightwear and enjoy wearing them together. Some incorporate cross dressing into their sex life, role playing and enjoying sex while fully or partly dressed. The range of possible responses is wide. Outright rejection is an unwise choice and will inevitably sour or ultimately ruin your relationship.

That your man is less of a man than other men you know is a false supposition. Think of him as more than a man. The current terminology is ill defined and confusing, but think of him as a man who has a female persona beneath the surface, perhaps well hidden but yearning to be expressed.

Yes, there is a risk in opening any door into your relationship. A few cross dressing men ultimately cross a threshold and seek to live full time as women, perhaps entering new relationships with others similarly inclined. A few may even commit to surgical procedures that confirm their new gender identity.

But, this essay addresses the vast majority of men who seek ‘sometimes’ to express a feminine side of themselves that is suppressed by our western culture. They seek to be better understood, not vilified. Please give them space to be who they fully are.

PS Readers, if you can use this letter yourself or know of someone to whom this would be helpful, please feel free to repost or copy.

AmandaJane70

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"queer spaces are for everyone but cis men! safe spaces include everyone but cis men!"

okay

that will require stealth trans men to out themselves in order to receive help

that will require closeted trans women to out themselves in order to receive help

that will require nonbinary people who don't ""look nonbinary"" because they look too masculine to out themselves in order to receive help

it will also alienate transfems & trans people who were AMAB who haven't realized they're trans yet from spaces that could provide them a safe place to explore gender & sexuality and be introduced to the idea of being trans

trans people are eventually going to get uncomfortable with your hatred for cis men, because people who were AMAB are gonna wonder if you secretly hate them for being "actually men" and trans mascs are gonna wonder if you hate them for being men at all

people attracted to cis men are going to feel uncomfortable when they try and bring up their love for men including cis men or bring their cis boyfriends/partners/friends to your spaces

there are cis queer men & queer men who blur the lines between cis and trans and they have just as much a right to queer spaces as you do

^ intersex men also exist including intersex cis men

there is never going to be a group of people who it is alright to blindly hate just because of circumstances of their birth or identity and every time you try you are going to end up hurting people. embrace compassion and nuance

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The Art of The Ruined Orgasm Last night I gave my husband a ruined orgasm. A ruined orgasm is when you stop providing stimulation to you man’s cock when he starts to cum or right before he starts to cum, thereby ruining his orgasm. The man may feel a brief moment of pleasure but then it immediately vanishes leaving him frustrated. I have to admit that I get a thrill from seeing his desperation and it is even more thrilling that he thanks me afterward. He is like a puppy dog that is always happy…always wagging his tail no matter what I do. Some may consider this cruel, but even he enjoys when I ruin his orgasms because it is another form of control that he gets to experience. To him a full blown orgasm is a very special privilege that he only experiences on a rare occasions. Denying his orgasm keeps him feeling submissive and controlled. He craves this feeling and enjoys the mental game. The thrill and arousal that I experience from his ruined orgasm is only a part of the reason I do it. I also consider the ruined orgasm a powerful tool for controlling him and keeping him obedient. The biggest advantage of a ruined orgasm is that it allows the man some release but avoids the post orgasm “slump” that most men experience after an full orgasm. The slump I am referring to is when the man loses all energy and loses interest in sex and pleasing the woman. After a ruined orgasm, many men do not experience the slump or it is very brief. My husband will often remain hard after the ruined orgasm. His level of horniness remains high as well. Another advantage of the ruined orgasm is that it is one more tool to add to your bag of tricks for teasing and orgasm control. You can tell your man that he is allowed to orgasm and then at the moment he is about to orgasm or as soon as it starts you release his cock. Incorporating this into your T&D keeps your man guessing about what to expect. Not only will it be a mystery of when he can orgasm but now he won’t even know if it will be a full orgasm or ruined orgasm. Ruining his orgasm also prolongs his denial period. He gets some release but not a full orgasm. Therefore you can prolong the timeframe of when he is allowed a full orgasm by slipping in a few ruined orgasms. One final benefit that I would like to point out is that it can be used as a punishment. If your man has been naughty or simply not meeting your expectations, you can announce that the next orgasm (or next 2, 3, etc.) will be ruined. Now that I covered the purpose of the ruined orgasm, let’s go over some methods of how to ruin the orgasm. As the title of this blog indicates, it is more of an art than a science. There are many techniques and approaches to the ruined orgasm. You can get very creative with it. Each person is different and as you get to know your man’s reactions, you can adjust your techniques to maximize his teasing. The most basic approach is to stroke his cock and then at the moment he first spurts you release his cock and let it twitch and spurt on its own. He will experience very brief pleasure at the first spurt but then once you release and there is no friction the orgasm becomes ruined and he is left frustrated. This is a good way to introduce him to the ruined orgasm. In my college days I would often do this with guys. Back then I did it more for teasing then orgasm control. It was a bit cruel I guess but I loved it. Funny thing was, the most guys would want to come back for me. I think they just never experienced a girl that paid so much attention to their cock. lol. Another technique is to release his cock before he starts to cum. This may take some practice because you have to anticipate when the orgasm is coming. If you spend a considerable amount of time teasing your guy or if he has been denied an orgasm for a long period of time, this becomes easier to do. With my husband, I will often bring him to the edge of orgasm over and over again, stopping before he has an orgasm. I will do this for 30 or more minutes. Usually by then he is mush and can barely control himself. If I decide to go the ruined orgasm route, I will lightly stroke his cock with one or two fingers. It literally twitches and bobs as he tries to hold back his orgasm. At this point, if I gave him permission to orgasm, I could stroke with one finger and then he would shoot. I prefer to tell him to try not to orgasm. I enjoy seeing him struggle. He eventually gets to a point where he can’t hold back. The fun part with this is that I can do a stroke or two and then watch his cock as he struggles to prevent his orgasms. There have been times when I have stroked his cock and then watched him struggle for 20 or 30 seconds and then he spurted without me touching him. That is art! It is beauty to see him struggle and work so hard to please and obey me. It is also a power rush to know that I control him so much and that no matter how hard he tries he can not stop me from giving him an orgasm. What a mind fuck for him! In these situations I don’t feel that it is fair to punish him for having an orgasm without permission. However, I usually give him the disappointed look and tell him how weak he is. The variations (both mental and physical) you can apply to the above two techniques are endless and that’s what makes is fun. Some variations to experiment with:
Announce the ruined orgasm ahead of time or surprise himTell him to try and orgasm while you tease him or tell him try not to orgasm while you tease him. Imagine the fun of him trying to orgasm only to have you pull away at the last second and leave him with nothing. Do this a few times and then send him over the edge and let go.Use your hands, mouth, tongue, panties, feathers, etc. to tease him. One of the most interesting videos I watched was a woman that held her man’s cock straight up and she very slowly licked from bottom to top until he spurted.Make him ruin the orgasm himself. This is a good test of his loyalty. Will he let go before he spurts (bonus points for him), at the first spurt (good boy), or will he push the envelope and hold on a little longer after he spurts (bad boy. Punishment time!).Combine with anal pleasure. Stimulating the prostate will cause his cum to leak-out more. Some women use this technique regularly to “milk” their man so that he can go very long periods without a orgasm.Experiment and have fun with the variations. I think it is great to always keep him guessing as to what will happen next. I want to share a ruined orgasm experience that I had with Thomas that absolutely drove him crazy for days afterwards but it has literally taking me over two weeks to write this post because I have been busy so I will share that experience in a follow-up post.

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Are you looking for a mistress to train you hard to become a perfect sissy slut?

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Makeup for Beginners

aka “I’m a 22 year old newb and needed to find some resources”. Here’s what I’ve found so far that has really helped me! Lots of these are youtube tutorials; I find it more helpful to see someone doing it rather than just reading about it.

General:

Makeup Starter Kit Guide

How to Apply Makeup for Beginners

18 Makeup Tips for Beginners

Easy Beginners Makeup - Drugstore

Simple Everyday Makeup Tutorial

Makeup for Beginners 101: Intro and Essential Items

Beginners Makeup Bag (with TONS are helpful links in video)

Makeup Mistakes We All Make

10 Beauty Mistakes I Used to Make

Makeup Mistakes Black Women Commonly Make

13 Beauty Hacks

Makeup Trends We’re Ditching in 2015 (hilarious)

Specific:

Eyes:

9 Different Eyeliner Looks

How to Make Your Eyes Look Bigger

Beginner Eye Makeup Tips and Tricks

Easy Ways to Use Liquid Eyeliner

Eye Shape x, x, x

Face:

How to Cover Acne & Scars

How to Apply Foundation

Best Foundations for Women of Color

How to Find Your Undertones

Blush for Face Shapes

Make Your Nose Look Smaller with Contouring

Lips:

How to Wear a Dark Lip/Finding Your Tone

Matte Lip Routine

Brows:

Eyebrow Tutorial

Perfect Eyebrow Tutorial

Tools:

Breakdown of Brushes

Youtube Channels:

TheMakeupChair

Chanel Boateng

Makeup Game On Point

Michelle Phan

Blogs:

Makeuploversunite

makeuptips-blog

makeupartistsofcolour (half makeup, half informational)

Cruelty Free Brands:

Hard Candy

N.Y.C.

e.l.f.

Lush

Wet n Wild

bh cosmetics

Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics

Impulse Cosmetics

Urban Decay

illamasqua

Melt Cosmetics

Sugarpill

Colourpop

Kat Von D

Anastasia

NARS

Smashbox

*Important Note: Some of these brands may or may not be sold in other countries that require animal testing by law in order for the products to be sold, but I don’t have the time to research animal testing laws outside the US as well as what brands sell in those countries. So I’m leaving this one up to you. 

Okay, this has been in my drafts for at least 3 months now. Time to roll it out! Keep in mind, these are videos/bloggers that helped me specifically and there may be some videos/links that aren’t as useful to you. That’s okay! I recommend you get lost in the beauty blogger side of youtube at some point, it’s a lot of fun and you never know what you’ll find!

And on a last note of disclaimer: I don’t follow the personal lives/twitter feed/rumors about anyone in these videos. I don’t know if someone is problematic or not, I am simply recommending the video.

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*note: please honor this caption by reblogging it WITH the attached article.  I’m usually okay when something I have written has been taken away from the intended caption.  It bothers me some because of the work put into combining both the caption and the writing, but I kind of get it–pictures speak louder than words.  BUT, I don’t want this one to be turned into something I never intended it to be.  So, if you reblog, please honor this wish. 

What Does a Girly Boy Need?

There are many things that Girly Boys need.  We need panties, clothes, shoes, etc.  Yes, we need sex too.  But none of that is what this posting is about–at least not completely.

I have found that there are some things that I need in my girly boy life that are important.  When it comes down to it, I don’t think we can call most of these essentials, yet they are certainly emotional and affirming.  I have no doubt that you could add to the list.  Feel free to do so if you choose to share the article and caption.  It’s not my complete list, but I think it’s a good one.  Here we go…

1) A Girly Drawer:  I remember what it was like handing my fiance a key to my house.  It was actually quite innocent, but it was something very special.  It was a way for me to say “You are welcome here any time.”  It was also very special when she, now my wife, offered a small drawer in her clothes chest for me to store my growing collection of panties and what few bras I have.  That was her way of saying, “You are welcome to wear panties, any time (even though there are some limits).”  For other items, I have boxes stored in secret places.  But knowing that I have my own girly drawer is a stamp of acceptance.

2) Girly Space and Time: As much as I talk about being girly, someone might think that I live in girliness 24/7.  In heart, perhaps so.  It’s just not possible in my circumstances.  To have a space to dress, act, move, talk, and feel girly is second to none.  Add to that, some extended time in girliness, and it’s like a dream come true.  I get a lot of space and time in my early morning workouts where Candie is free to be fit and girly and left alone.  But then there are some other special spaces and times like outings, drives, and, though I have never experienced one, crossdressing meet-ups.  A girly boy needs time and space to be girly. It’s never enough to have ultra-private, quickie, secretive, dress-up sessions.  Not everybody can afford to be openly forward, but none of us needs to feel isolated or backwards.  Having time and space is another cue of acceptance.

3) Girly Friend(s): I’m lucky enough that my wife is my safe person with whom I can be girly.  Be sure of it, she still wants her man and I am more than happy to oblige.  I have needed her in my girly life.  I didn’t realize that until everything became open between us.  Having someone special with whom you can share your femininity openly is not only fun, it’s relaxing and freeing.  A friend who accepts your girliness is always a bestie.

4) Girly Entertainment:  I wasn’t sure how to label this one.  I was thinking of chick flicks, spa days, shopping trips, window browsing, nature walks, girls nights, etc.  It’s not just having space and time and a friend.  It’s more than tagging along as a boy.  It’s doing girl-like things in girlish ways the way girls would do girl things.  Girly boys need experiences because they will learn more on a girly adventure than they could ever learn from reading a blog article about five things that a girly boy needs.

5) Girly Terms of Endearment: It might not seem like a big one, but it is.  I’ve written above what is basically matters of acceptance–the need to be accepted.  When my wife calls me “Her girly boy,” “girly”, “girl”, “sissy”, “little cheerleader”, “pretty boy”, “lesbian sex kitten”, etc. it is her way of giving my girly self some acknowledgement, which, in my opinion, is a step beyond acceptance.  Yes, she has called me those things!  Well, except “lesbian sex kitten”.  Interestingly, I can’t recall that she has ever called me Candie.  I won’t push that one.  It’s enough to know that she acknowledges this special part of me because she is acknowledging all of me.  I need that, so yes, this is a big one!

That’s all that I’ll take time to write out and it’s probably more than you cared to read.  I appreciate you all so very much.  It may be online, anonymous, and we may never meet face to face, but you all give me acceptance and acknowledgement.  I thank you for that!

Have a precious weekend my girly friends!

CandieHart 

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I took the plunge! I reposted about the Plume app a bit ago because I thought the idea had merit. I liked the idea so much, I used it myself. Getting started takes a little time but is so worth it. There are automated questions to figure out what you want/need and then everything is through the app.

I just had a vid-chat and received my first ever prescription for estradiol, which I will start tonight! 🎉 🎊

No doctors offices, lab tests every 3 months or so, and I got to choose my treatment path!

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We believe healthcare should be easy, convenient, and center the unique needs of the trans community. If you are trans, it doesn’t always mean you need or desire gender-affirming hormone therapy (“GAHT” or “sometimes known as “HRT”), but if you do, we are here to help. You are our priority. 

Learn more at https://getplume.co/

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Great Sissy Blogs

This list of great blogs for original sissy captions is constantly updated, so make sure you reblog the latest version from here (Link). You are currently viewing a version updated on April 10th, 2016.

For the very best blogs look here: Link

Andrea’s Captions ( @andrea-tg-captions-plus )

Aphrodite Sissy ( @aphroditesissy )

Apprentice Sissy ( @apprentice-sissy )

The Bellefair Institute ( @bellefair-institute )

betaboibitchedblack ( @betaboibitchedblack )

bimboyacademy ( @bimboyacademy )

Bootus McDoosh ( @bootusmcdoosh )

Broken Sissy For Alpha Males ( @sissyforalpha )

Call Me Julianna ( @juliannacaptions )

Caps-and-Vids ( @caps-and-vids )

Cool Sissy Porn ( @coolsissyporn )

Daddy’s FemBabysitter ( @daddysfembabysitter )

Delirious Weirdo ( @dorstus )

DirtyLittleKristine ( @dirtylittlekristine )

Eden Alchemy ( @edenalchemy )

Emily’s Sissy Blog ( @emilybelleuk )

EU Sissy Caps ( @eusissycaps )

F.A.G.S. ( @faggotryngendersissification )

The Fag Coach ( @the-fag-coach )

Felinacaptions ( @felinacaptions )

Feminine Dreams ( @kinatropin )

The Feminization Station ( @feminizationstation )

Feminizeecaps ( @feminizeecaps )

femsissylove ( @femsissylove )

Filthy Sissy Captions ( @icelandicsissy )

Fucked into femininity ( @kayleygurl77 )

hardcock4sissies ( @hardcock4sissies )

Hi I’m Megan ( @makesmeganwet )

Honeytrap ( @allourdesires )

i-want-to-be-a-girl ( @i-want-to-be-a-girl )

I want to be MEGAN ( iwant2bmegan )

Inferior Little Whore ( @inferiorlittlewhore )

Itty Sissy Bits and Clits ( @sissybitsandclits )

Josie’s Closet ( @josiesweets )

KapiteinSpok ( @kapiteinspok )

The Kinky Captions ( @thekinkycaptioner )

Little sissy dick ( @littlesissydick )

Live to Serve ( @sissyneilina )

Lexi Peach ( @yourlexipeach )

LisaAnn’s Panty Place ( @lisaannspantyplace )

Lucy’s TG World ( @lucystgworld )

Lyndsey’s Sissy Captions ( @lyndseygurl )

Melodie Lust ( @melodie-lust )

mickola-cduk ( @mickola-cduk )

MissPattyMe’s Place for Sissies! ( @misspattyme )

Mistress Stella

My Closet Sissy Fantasy ( @myclosetsissyfantasy )

Myth of Sissyphus ( @myth-of-sissyphus )

Not all Boys were meant to be Boys. ( @foreversissy )

pinkpaula CS ( @pinkpaula01 )

A Place for Sissies and Cuckolds to feel dominated ( @sissypussy-galore )

The Real Me ( @sissydru4u )

Sadie’s Slutty Captions! ( @sadies-sissy-caps )

Sexy Caps ( @originalsexycaptions )

Shorty w a Booty ( @sluttysissysasha )

Sissy & Tgirl Captions ( @xdresscaptions }

Sissy Brandie World ( @sissybrandieworld )

Sissy Caption Queens ( @annaottosissy-posts )

Sissy Captions ( @russissycaptions )

Sissy Captions and More ( @sissyfemcaption )

Sissy Cindy ( @katycat2009 )

Sissy Help Captions ( @sissyhelp )

Sissy Moulding ( @effutuo )

Sissy Obsession ( @krystalfemme )

Sissy Perfection ( @sissyperfection )

Sissy Play Time ( @system-addiction )

The Sissy Rulebook ( @sissyrulez )

Sissy Secrets ( @closetsissygirl )

Sissy Slut Captions ( @littlesissyslutcaptions )

Sissy x Captions ( @sissyxcaptions )

Sissy4BBC ( @sissyjack4bbc21 )

Sissyboy Fantasies ( @sissyboyfantasies )

SissyCockEuphoria ( @sissyscockeuphoria )

Slutty Sissy Gifs ( @sluttysissygifs )

sluttycocksuckr ( @sluttycocksuckr )

Smokey.Heart’s Club Band ( @smokey-heart )

Steamy Sissy Captions ( @submissivesissynature )

StormCaps ( @stormcaps )

Submissive Bi-Boy’s Blog ( @bi-bottom-bitch )

Submissive Sissy Fuckdoll ( @jenny09suniverse )

Terribad Caps ( @terribad-caps )

TG Caption Saga ( @afterdark116 )

Theodd’s Tg Caps ( @theodd12 )

Trapgif ( @trapgif )

TS-Traps and CumSluts ( @trapsandcumsluts )

Underwearslut ( @underwearslut )

United Sissies ( @united-sissies )

Whatever fag ( @whateverfaggot )

When I need to be a Sissy Slut ( @iamsissysamantha )

Why Cock is better for everyone ( @redleadrsix )

X-Change ( @xchangepill )

xoxo Pamela ( @xoxo-pamela )

Zapp’s Place ( @zappdude )

6boodaa9 ( @6boodaa9 )