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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:
I’m the best to ever do it
Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)
No one’s ever done it like me
I could be President/they should make me President
Behold, a mere fraction of my power!
The public wants to be me soooooo bad
I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)
How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?
Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix
I’m being sabotaged
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Me and my boyfriend tied in a board game and he was bummed because I helped him with it (even though it was our first time playing), so I told him “In my heart you win anyways” and he cried.
when i find his ex i’m killing him
#and when I tell you he is the sweetest guy I have ever met#I mean it#i swear when i find you sam i am not holding my punches#we went and played fortnite afterwards#and he is currently watching a edit of LeBron to the living tombstones FNAF2 song
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I know it’s not hard to point out reactionaries hypocrisy when it comes to like safe spaces or hug boxes or whatever but genuinely how much of an echo chamber do you have to exist in for you to think this is a reasonable thing to say
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Please reblog if YES so your followers will know!
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alright fellas picture this: project nexus au where everything plays out exactly the same except gestalt is the size of a purse dog
they shrinked him. shrinked his dinks.
do with this what you will
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GORETOBER DAY 1
Cannibalism!!
!!!Gore Warning!!!

This is technically a day late but whatever-
#cw: gore#goretober#goretober 2024#cannibalism#goretober day 1#traditional art#original art#original character
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WHY ARE THERE NO MLM JOAQUÍN X READER FICS ON AO3?!
#why do i do this to myself#why do i always gotta like the niche ones#why cant i just read a fic without getting gender dysphoria man#i’m so starved for content its unreal#where my boykisser Joaquín fans at?#i know i can’t be the only one#tbol#the book of life#joaquin mondragon#mirian if you see this#no you didn't
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Adobe is going to spy on your projects. This is insane.


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holy shit i just realized I can post about my interests like the rabid dog i am on here without getting clocked by most of my friends bc the one irl moot i have on here doesn’t actually care
#at least i hope she doesn’t#if she sees this post and immediately reports back to my other irls i’m going to commit a crime#probably a homicide#HOLY SHIT I CAN POST ABOUT MY PARTNERS AND THEY CANT CLOCK ME AND CALL ME CRINGE
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my first favorite hobby is yapping. second is being extremely quiet and not talking ever at all ever.
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Hey you ever think about The Characters so much to the point where

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CAL STATE LA YOU PIECE OF SHIT
I was checking my email a couple minutes ago making sure I had everything set for my first semester at CSULA in a few weeks. Financial aid: set, Schedule: set, Textbooks: working on it, Dorm Supplies: on the way, Dorm move-in date: this week, okay all goo-
RUN THAT BACK??
I almost shat my pants i swear to god, because I had to check my student portal to make sure that I was set to move in two weeks from now, not six days, and I was right, turns out they sent me an email with the wrong date and I almost started scream crying.
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Omg u have vrchat?
yes i do!!! i don’t play very often tho, most of the time i go on there to find an empty stage and sing or play my guitar like an npc, but I’d happily add anyone who wants to play with me!!
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I honestly hope someone makes TBOL and MATT avatars in Vr Chat… I wanna run around and play creep
#THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE I’D ANNOY WITH MY GUITAR IF I HAD A MANOLO AVI#I ALREADY DO SO WITH MY TF2 ENGINEER AVI#BUT WITH MANOLO I’D BE UNSTOPPABLE#THERE WOULD BE NO END TO MY REIGN#nobody would be able to stop me#nobody would be able to escape the Manolo constantly playing Molchat Doma and Oingo Boingo#the book of life#maya and the three#vrchat#if i had the money#i’d commission someone#but i’m broke#imagine chilling in the black cat then Manolo Sánchez pulls up and starts playing Dead Man’s Party in the middle of your conversation#OR HE STARTS PLAYING FUCKING СУДНО#this needs to become real#now
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tell me I’m wrong
#tbol#the book of life#joaquin mondragon#manolo sanchez#maria posada#chuy the pig#tres leches#the fact that this post has only been interacted with by the same handful of people as my last tbol post is just proving my point
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US Politics rn

#politics#2024 presidential election#its joever#epic rap battles of history#tupac vs the hoa lady#trump vs harris#shitpost
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Now that the bots are gone, we can also beat the shit out of this light uninterrupted
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